#i'm pretty sure it's not even that deep and it's probably not healthy how attached i am to a team i said i hate for months

[mysumeow]

WANDERER ALPHABET PT. 1/2🥛. . ♡ 💭

warnings: afab genitalia, gn pronouns. overstimulation, edging, scara kinda yandere coded ig, unprotected piv, mentions of oral

a/n: it's finally here T_T remember this all is just my take on wanderer ;7; i hope everyone enjoys it n_n

PART TWO

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He's going to make either a teasing remark on how he didn't even go that hard (he def did) or how you're weaker than he thought as he helps you walk to the bathroom.

He'll huff, roll his eyes, and complain all he wants, but he won't leave you alone until he's sure you're taken care of. He'll hold you the whole night in his arms.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

I don't know why, but I'm convinced he must have pretty hands. Long, slender fingers, and soft skin. What's his secret? He doesn't even have any type of skin care routine. He probably also likes how his back looks; he has a very elegant silhouette.

On his partner, not only their chest but also their thighs. He doesn't care about the size of either. He likes those places for the fact that they're usually sensitive, and he enjoys nothing more than teasing and edging his partner.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He's not human but was designed to look like one. I'd assume he cums about the same as an average human—slightly more if he has gone a good while without pleasuring himself. Thankfully (or not, it depends on you), he has a low refractory period, meaning that he can go a while before he's shooting blanks.

Has a balanced diet, so the taste is far from unpleasant. I feel like the first couple of times he gets intimate with his partner, he won't be able to hide his emotional attachment to them. He likes the idea of "claiming" you by cumming deep inside. If you are against it and prefer to pleasure him with your mouth, he likes it when you show him you swallowed all.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He gets way too excited when he sees you cry during sex. From pleasure; and if you allow it, from pain. This goes hand in hand with overstimulation, since that's his go-to if he wants to make you cry easily. He can be a rough lover if you let him be, but he can also be gentle "if you deserve it" (those are his words). This is a dirty secret you'll have to uncover on your own by being observant: how his eyes gleam when your moans turn into whines and pleas, how he fixes his gaze into your face when he's overstimulating you, how he'll just "mhm" and "yeah" to anything you say, but he's not really paying attention; or when he mocks your moans and pleas.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Before his Wanderer arc, he excluded himself from any positive interpersonal experiences. He would get a disgusting, stomach churning feeling seeping into his being at the thought of being vulnerable to someone else. Before his three betrayals, he was already busy figuring out how to blend in with humans and dealing with all sorts of unfamiliar emotions.

In other words, no experience. Even after his Wanderer arc, I feel like he would need to re-learn how healthy interpersonal relationships work. His partner would need to be understanding and patient.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Any position that will allow him to hold your tits. If it's doggy, his hands will be squeezing them the whole time. If you're on top, his eyes are fixed there too. He might have a preference for cowgirl, since it gives him a pleasing sensation of being wanted, seeing you care about his pleasure to the point where you're exerting your own body. He appreciates the effort, but that doesn't mean he's not going to edge you anyway.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He places lots of sentimental value on sex. It just so happens that his way of showing affection might come across as possessive, ardent, rough. If you're the type to joke during it, he might humor you, but it depends on his mood.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Doesn't shave, barely has any hair down there, after all. You could guess that from glancing at his legs, the hairs are tiny and thin. They're a darker shade of indigo, bordering on black.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

The type to prefer having everything under control. It's going to take a lot of trust for him to allow his partner to take the dominant position, but even when he gives in, he's a brat. Scratch that—topping, bottoming, domming, or subbing—he's gonna be difficult. It's like he finds genuine pleasure in your frustration. If you're patient, good. If not, that means you will become even more desperate, which is good for him too.

He can be romantic, too. You'll know he's sentimental when he's uncharacteristically quieter. It's not that he shuts up at all if he can comment on something to fluster you, but it will happen less.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He would suppress himself, he's ashamed at the idea of performing such mundane actions. His time is way too valuable to spend it on such trivial activities—until it becomes too much.

As long as no one knows and he caves in.

It was fast, and he feels silly for worrying about it. He's relieved that, at last, that tension has left his body. He's convinced he won't fall for it again.

And it happened again.

At some point, he warms up to the idea of caring for his body in that way. Masturbation is linked to healthy body activity, right? Whatever, I'm only doing it because of that. No other reason. (There's another reason).

Still, he tries to not overdo it. By the time he finally gets to hold you in an intimate way, it's like opening Pandora's box. Who knew carnal pleasure could be so addicting.

[funnylovepuppis]

I should probably shut up about it because there is so many other people talking about it. But I can't stay silent about it. I can't stress enough how upset and uncomfortable I am with being here in buddie fandom right now.

As a bisexual myself, I agree with the importance of its representation in mainstream media. Especially when it comes to male characters, who are really low in static speaking. We can all agree on this, and hopefully, we can all see it. I'm really thrilled about Bi Buck's journey and about finding his happiness. He's not fixed, he just found out about his other sides he never knew they were existed before. As @m3r1m4r5u333 said in their post, bisexuality is not a personality, just a small piece in whatever color that is a part of many more pieces of soul. Buck, like many real-life people, is trying to figure out himself. I honestly don't think that self-journey will ever stop, not just on sexuality but on many other things. That's how living is, right? So yes, it's very exciting and kind of carefree for him, and I'm truly happy. He deserves it big time after all that he has been through. And I really think that Tommy is genuinely the right person for him at the moment.

But aside from me being bi, I'm also demisexual. Honestly it's more than that for me, because besides the need for emotional connection before sexual intimacy, I need some degrees of emotional connection before even getting into dating. So as you can see, I'm very much attached to Buck and Eddie relationship. I'm mostly finding myself a lot in Eddie's character. I do feel a lot of pressure on starting to date someone nowadays. And I'd probably be single for a long time because that's kinda how how people go to date. You meet someone you like and interested to explore the romantic dynamic and that someone is a completely stranger to you so it's kind of scary and stressful.. I'd rather be someone's friend and then lover..

Yes, best friends have a different kind of love than just two friends. That doesn't necessarily mean that it must have a romance subtext or under the surface, especially when it comes to two people of the same gender. And sure, all the things related to buddie are open to interpretations and any ways that people who see it differently are pretty legit.

We can argue about why things are the way they are. I can acknowledge that Eddie is not in the same emotional place as Buck, and it can be taking a long process for him, if at all, to realize his own feelings about himself and Buck. But at the same time, I can say that although it seems like Buck and Eddie communicate in a very healthy way, there's a sense of underground miscommunication that leaves both of them scared to make a move or talk about their deep feelings and observations on their own relationship. Because what they have is great, so why ruin it for a good change, right? And there is lots of evidence that saying buddie are partially soulmates. Having back from each other. Their reactions are when the other one is in a dangerous situation, such as the firetruck, the wall, the shooting, and the lighting strike. The will. The family moments of Buckley-Diaz. Going to each other's home as a safe place. The teasing from surrounding people about them. The jealousy. Their parallels to other couples on the show/

I guess I'm trying to say to the people who are feeling like some people are not very happy about Bucktommy because they are not appreciative of the new queer couple or the very fact that it's B-Buck canon. I understand the need for bi-representations and am happy to see that. It seems very worth the long wait for this. And yet, I want to say, give buddie stans time, including me. Because our feelings are legitimate and matter, too. It may come as rude or not excited about Bucktommy, but I think this is coming from being afraid and uncomfortable with how quickly many people from the fandom are shifting from Buddie to Bucktommy, even if they still believe in Buddie Endgame. Give us time to fall in love with this couple and connect with them. Give us time to warm up for them. Give us time because we have been attached to Buddie for 5 long years. We have been memorizing all of the episodes, plots, and quotes. Writing for 5 years, Buddie fics. Making beautiful gifsets and fan art.

Thank you for reading this if you have reached this far. 🩷

[femboyhunting]

Older au questions I have

1: sydney is a doctor- but is he a good or bad one- is harper still around? If so how do they interact

2: what happened to baliey?

3: kylar becomes cruel and awful but what happened to his parents??? Mercy kill? Church involvement? Other???

4: I know Mickie leaves and becomes a DILF but when does he leave- what shoves him to that point? At what time does he decide he needs to be healthy

Sydney is a therapist! He has his own little private practice. My impulse is to say that being a therapist in doltown would be unbearable and frankly impossible so Sydney would move away. But for whatever reason I don't really see Sydney leaving? I think probably part of it is his family. And maybe he wants to do his part in helping others in any way he can. He seems, at his core, to be a truly kind and altruistic person with a lot of empathy for others. And Doltown really does need an actual therapist. He's chronically overworked and develops unhealthy attachments to his clients, but he really does care deeply for them and genuinely wants to help. He works on a sliding scale, and will often take clients for free. It's not very good business practice. His real job is the sex club he opened at the edge of town, though so at least he's getting some amount of revenue to stay afloat. It's actually a pretty nice place, lots of bouncers to enforce strict safety rules. Sydney I think has the most wholesome future, which isn't at all surprising for his character.

Harper might have pushed back, and Syd definitely was hesitant because of this since he didn't even want to see his fucking face, but he was busy at the moment with the attack on the hospital and having lost an arm from it. By the time Harper was even aware enough to be in the know about Syd opening a private practice, he was not very happy but figured he'd let it be as long as Sydney didn't create problems for him. And Sydney doesn't! He really doesn't like the idea that he's not speaking up against Harper but he knows that won't end well. Sydney's just doing what he can to help as many people as he can.

2. I'm not too sure what happened to Bailey. He's an older man now and likely has retreated into more safety. His name still strikes fear in people though. I think someone else must have taken over the orphanage though. Maybe Robin.

3. I wouldn't necessarily say "awful". He just doesn't care. He probably wanted, at some point, to end their miserable lives. If they retained any iota of their former selves their existence must be pure torture. He missed them like crazy, of course. Like their absence as their former selves was a gaping wound in his chest. He'd vowed to care for them like they had him and one day change them back. And then MC/Mikie was gone and everything went wonky. He told himself that he'd be back like always, that his beloved would never leave him. But everything was so much harder to endure without him there. He spent his time searching, he couldn't go about his day normally like everything was ok it was agony. He really spiraled. A year went by before he finally lost hope and decided a life without Mikie wasn't worth it. Long story purposefully vague, he got carted off to the asylum. Then something no one had anticipated happened. From his dark claustrophobic cell, he heard a cacophony of blood curdling screaming, slamming, and horrific wet tearing noises. They had him on so many meds he was barely aware and kept fading in and out. But when he awoke again he was home, and in the cold clammy embrace of one of his parents, the three of them smeared with drying blood. He would discover later that the asylum had been attacked, countless people lost their lives. After that, no one ever saw him again. But he's out there. Specifically, deep in the woods. He's getting better at the occult. He figures that maybe if he gets good enough maybe he can bring his beloved back to him from the other side. It's been so long though, he's hardly the same person he was back then, would he still love Kylar even as he is now? Well, no matter, he could make them. If he could bring them back to him, prove that love truly is eternal, making them love him back would surely not be that hard.

4. I think Mike has always wanted and planned to leave. He has some idealistic plans in the mean time at one point. He though if he could just make the right moves in the shadows, get the right people to trust him, he could dethrone the bastards in power and make a real positive change. He thought there was enough good in the world that if everyone worked together they could save each other. He thought he was real fuckin' smart. He really thought he could outsmart people who have been playing this game since before Mikies papa even creampied his mum. There are some victories sure but the more Mikie learns about how the town is actually run, he realizes that he's dealing with forces beyond his comprehension. And he's just some guy that used his cute ass to get a guy to set fire to some crops. Every victory is so ephemeral and meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Every failure is devastating. He tries so hard and again and again he's reminded that he's in over his head. The traumas only build and build. The asylum, the prison, the way he can't go a day without being assaulted. Trying to get revenge on Leighton and realizing that the people in power create the law so the law will never persecute them. Beaten down over and over, reminded that he is nothing. It's hard to remain hopeful. He wonders if there's anyone who he can trust, anyone who actually cares about him or are they all using him. He isn't even really sure who he is anymore. But he is sure that no one knows him. All they see when they look at him is a reflection of their own desires. All they are is vampires, bleeding him dry. And he can feel himself becoming emptier every day.

It's possible it's not even a conscious choice, really leaving. Near the end he hardly really thinks at all, it's like his head is an overfilled water balloon ready to pop, everything he hears sounds like he's underwater too. He used to go empty when bad things happened to him, his eyes would go blank and he'd just wait until it was over. Near the end, he has trouble coming back, even in the good times. He doesn't really remember much. He doesn't feel human. Maybe one night he's slinking through the shadows back to the orphanage and into his tiny room. It's ransacked, someone's obviously been there. In the back of his brain he has a passive though that nowhere is safe. He rubs the bindings on his arms against the rough edge of a piece of furniture until the loosen and he can rub the angry red rope burns on his wrists. He catches a look at himself in his mirror. His hair is tangled and matted, it hangs in his face. His eyes are wide, bloodshot, and ringed in dark colors from a combination of chronic sleeplessness and bruises. His body is marred by cuts and scrapes and bruises. Dried blood crackles and pulls at his skin uncomfortably when he moves. Another passing thought; if he's ugly will anyone love him? When his abused body finally crumbles in on itself will anyone want to hold him anymore? Is that all he is? A pretty body degrading and rotting day by day?

He doesn't think about it, really. He just stockpiles food and money. Gets a little more withdrawn. Not enough to worry anyone who might stop him. He doesn't think about Sydney or Robin or Kylar. He doesn't think. Everything around him feels so far away. Buys a backpack. A train ticket. And he's gone. No one even worries for a good while, Mikie has a reputation of disappearing and coming back.

[prsk-krow]

Heya there! 🌻 anon here, making another request!

Alright, I honestly just had the sudden urge to request this wahaha- sooo.. can I request for (R)omantic Yan!Kanade x reader? just some general headcanons would be alright!

Though, I'm not sure if you're comfortable with writing characters as Yanderes- So if you feel uncomfortable in writing with this kind of concept, then it's alright! but if you do decide on making this request then that's also okay! just make sure you're not forcing yourself- ^^;

As I usually say, take your time if you decide to do this request! don't rush yourself<33

That's all and thank you!!✮\(^o^)/✮

{YANDERE!Kanade general headcanons...} [R]

IT'S TIME!! Don't worry, the reason I allowed yandere requests is bcuz I don't mind them! In fact I've been waiting for a request like this... I know many in the verse don't like Yan, but I kinda like them... So TYSM for the request!!

Also I received the request to change the ask, but I finished this b4 then so that'll be something separate... •^•

WARNING: YANDERE CONTENT BELOW!!

Kanade has spend a lot of her time trying to save others, but this goal of hers has left her not only lonely, but also pretty unhealthy and devoid of affection. It's sad, but it's exactly this that makes her value her close ones so much...

She probably comes to know you through her housekeeper, as you come one day as a replacement because she couldn't come! She had already gotten pretty attached to her, so for you? It doesn't start strong, but it's a head start for her obsession to start...

She doesn't start getting close though, and her obsession takes a long while to truly start. Since she hasn't learned much about her feelings yet, the biggest thing in her mind is simply composing and working. It's you who has to make the first step, and that's when her thoughts about you start to shift.

The more you talk to her the more she starts to realize how strange this is. When she finishes a piece and should be thinking about her next one, she's thinking about if you'd like it. Same when in the process of composing something new and thinking about how much you'd like it.

And eventually, she'll stop herself from overworking another night and ask herself: What's happening? Why is she thinking about you so much? She needs to save someone, that's why she's composing. So why does your image flood her mind every single moment that passes? That's when she realizes that her feelings for you may be something more important than she thought...

It's not soon before Kanade makes the sudden request for you to visit more often! She misses your face, and wants to see you?? Well, no matter! If she's happy then you're willing to visit even on weekdays and check up on her! It's ironic, how your visits that were meant to keep her healthy are now making her act the opposite way.

"Ah... Yeah, t-thanks for coming again. I know I just saw you yesterday, but having someone like you by my side helps me a lot, you know? It's always been hard for me to do things all by myself, and at first I didn't mind, really... But now that you're here, I think I can live a better way each day that passes..."

Every time you visit, she wants to stop composing and come talk to you, have you make small talk with her, make her meals, everything. But she's just so awkward... How does she get you to talk? How can she ask you to cook without looking disrespectful? That's why she turns to composing once again.

One day, as she composes something new, you catch her writing the lyrics... She doesn't have enough time to hide them, and soon the jig is up... You think. In fact, although that part of the lyrics reveals that she holds romantic feelings for you, it doesn't show how deep they go...

So, having the wrong image in your head, you accept her as a couple! And that day, she doesn't even need to compose something to not be able to fall asleep. As you promise her to come over to live with her, she has a million thoughts running through her head. That's when, whether she realizes or not, that her obsession truly starts to manifest.

Her obsession is quiet, but lurking, never fading. She watches you inside her home, always too afraid to make a move. Sometimes you catch her, but she looks so inoffensive that you just tease her and drop the subject. Sometimes you don't, and she can spend hours simply stalking you...

However, she starts getting a little upset whenever you go outside. She can't follow you then after all... So she starts trying to convince you to stay more indoors. This works for now, as you still have the wrong impression of her love!

"Thank you for listening to me... I know that you really like to be outside, but now that we're together, I don't think it's a good idea... We can do everything together inside my... No, our home. Besides, not much of it has been out to use since my... My... A-anyways, want to order something?"

She continues to compose more and more, but this time she doesn't want anyone to see it. She uses songs as an outlet to let out her desires to spend an eternity with you by her side, with no care for the world outside of your home together...

The only reason now that she has to take care of herself is your concerns, as you watch the bags under her eyes grow. You feed her, and make sure she gets enough sleep! Thankfully she always listens to you, however if you ever forget to take care of her, her state will worsen fast...

She doesn't care much about her own state, it's hard for her to do that anymore. The only thing on her mind is you, what you say, what you do... And with thoughts of you filling her mind, how could she bother to do anything else than compose for you and observe you silently?

If she doesn't, you may be taken away, just like her family was... The thought of that consumes her with fear. She can't afford that to happen, so she continues to watch over you, making sure that you're happy, healthy, and safe together with her... If only she had more courage to speak what she truly thinks... Guess she'll just have to keep hiding it forever...

[sunflowergem]

9 (Could you be roommates with this character?) for all the BG3 companions >:3c

So my first thought was a giant house with everybody in it which would be just absolute chaos. But obviously it's more meant to be one-on-one so let's go through them.

Astarion: Hmmmmm, I think I would be able to live with him but it wouldn't be ideal. He would probably be a little too mean too often, not even like a truly mean way. But like you know, he's a sassy guy and I am unfortunately rather sensitive. With a good amount of communication, I feel like we could become friends perhaps, but there's definitely going to be some rough patches in the first like year or so. Although we could get along pretty well as far as fashion and sewing goes, which would be fun. I make clothes and he embroiders them, sounds like a delightful hobby to have a bond over.

Gale: Solid roommate material for sure! Comes with furry friend, cooking skills, and a library, hell yeah! Also info dumping is my love language, biggest risk here is that I'd probably end up with a crush or eventually dating him. I'd treat him better than his ex for sure.

Halsin: Would we get along? Yes! Would there be a constant battle within my mind of him reminding me a little too much of my father but also being ridiculously attractive and that leading me to confront some deep-seated issues that I need to address someday with a professional? Also, yes! And I'm not sure if I'm ready to confront that part of myself. We probably have some kick-ass house plants though and I bet he makes the best cup of tea.

Jaheira: I feel like she wouldn't be home often and like would be kind of keeping to herself when she is. So I'd say yeah I could easily be her roommate. We both stay in our own lanes but were responsible. Probably be very healthy situation.

Karlach: Ignoring the fire hazard, I think she'd make a solid roommate. I feel like we'd have chore chart kind of synergy going on. Also opportunities to cuddle (I feel like there is possibility of that leading to some feelings as well, but that would not being negative) and like late night baking sessions randomly I could see popping up real easy. Kind of reminds me when I lived with my bestie for a while. In that context, it was only one room and we shared it which was a little tricky, but I have a lot of fond memories from those times<3

Lae'zel: Mmmmaybe? This is probably going to go one of three ways. One she ignores me and we just kind of cohabitate. Two she takes an interest in me and starts training me as a way to bond. I do like swords and would love to learn how to use one so this is not the worst but she would definitely be a harsh trainer. Or three she straight up kills me at some point. I don't know if I'd be able to sleep well for a while living under the same roof TBH

Minsc: This is actually the last one I wrote. Despite where it is in the list, I put them in alphabetical order because I couldn't decide how to order them. It is really hard to decide whether or not he would be a compatible roommate. Like I want to say yes cuz I like the guy. Plus he comes with a friendly hamster! But he is also kind of a wild guy I think. And I'm not sure what would be like cleanliness levels with him, which is a little bit of a thing with me. We're going to give this one a solid maybe.

Minthara: No. I would die. Even if she gets attached she's going to try toughen me up and I would die.

Shadowheart: Yeah I think we could chill as roommates. She doesn't try and push religion down anyone's throat and in the beginning for sure keeps to herself. As she becomes more friendly with you. She becomes a really chill lady overall. We'd probably be able to have some interesting deep philosophical conversations after she resolves some personal issues. This one would also probably evolve into either dating or everyone thinks we're dating, once again, very similar to my real life bestie.

Wyll: He would probably be a fantastic roommate, too bad about his overbearing boss who constantly comes over unannounced. But seriously, he's kind. He's respectful. He's thoughtful. This one very much probably evolve into some form of romance as well because I'm a bit of a flirt when I become comfortable with people and honestly kind of he gives that same vibe. This would definitely not be a negative cuz he is definitely husband material. Still got to find him a better job though and possibly resolve a few issues with his dad. But hey, we can bond over father trauma!

I don't know if it's just personal bias or if this would actually be some chemistry, but so many of these I think would turn into rom-com situations. It also could just be the source material being unrelentlessly horny. Which considering I'm asexual will be very funny. Not impossible cuz demisexual but definitely would be a slow burn kind of situation.

[rosyjuly]

1 and 3 for acceptance is a small, quiet room ? anddd 11 and 14 for a thought too unfamiliar

thank you omg! both of these fics are very close to my heart and i geeked out a lil (a lot) so i'm putting it under a read more

acceptance is a small, quiet room (the PR meeting in prince au)

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

i'm a big ol' nerd about the technical aspects of fics and especially about the PR elements (shout out to my poor mutuals who had to sit through probably one too many rants about drivers' media abilities - or lack of them). one of the things that fascinates me endlessly about prince au is how the royal family is basically an institution, and just how much effort goes into it to maintain the Myth, so i wanted to explore that a bit. and in this, we again see that it's george's decision to go along with whatever his father and the PR team cooked up for him -- he does ask if he can think about it, but he doesn't even try to say "I'm actually seeing someone", doesn't lie that he's seeing a woman, doesn't try to bargain for more time ("Just give me another year and then I will"). i wanted to drive it home that yeah, the circumstances force george's hand, but he IS complicit and willing to cooperate and doesn't try to fight for what he has.

i also think that "We have selected the twenty most suitable options, based on status, age and accomplishments. You may find the preference matrix attached as Appendix A, should you wish to examine it." is SO fucking funny. i love silly and over the top documents. sue me :(

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

"And along he nods as they present the twenty women, all from noble families, all well-educated, their long hair carefully curled into perfect waves, their pale skin adorned with tasteful makeup and family heirlooms."

i still like the rhythm of this sentence! i was also trying to convey a distance that george feels? i'm a firm believer of "prince george never had a lustful thought of a woman, ever" so like aesthetically beautiful women still feel... alien to him in a sense. like he can see that they are pretty and dolled up nicely but it's doing as much to him as looking at a painting in a gallery.

a thought too unfamiliar (also known as wine cellar breakup)

11: What do you like best about this fic?

i like that it's sad :( lol. i found it so so hard to convey mick's quiet devastation. like how can you say "mick was shocked and could feel his heart breaking" in a way that reads actually nicely? and then i workshopped it with gabby @prettydangrotten and i think the final result is pretty neat! the suffocation of disbelief when you lose something so precious so unexpectedly.

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

hmm. i mean it's the opposite of a healthy relationship management and conflict resolution. i like exploring insecurities in fic, and this was one of my favorite attempts at it. we don't see it (and the author IS dead obviously), but seb breaks it off because he wants to prevent falling for mick & he genuinely thinks mick could and should do better (more age appropriate, with less baggage etc). meanwhile mick's been pretty sure that they've become quite serious and he thinks that they don't even have to discuss it. and then seb breaks it off (in a truly horrible way tbh) and mick doesn't stand up for himself, he just starts rewriting his memories to oh i was so stupid to think this meant something to him, even though he is RIGHT and it DID mean something to seb, it meant so much that he had to hit the brakes so fast when he realized just how deep his feelings ran for mick already.

[inkofamethyst]

August 14, 2023

Went to Target, noticed that many of the decorations on sale were deep greens and pale purples, realized that maybe I'm not quite as original with my ideal room colors as I'd anticipated. What is life but a series of events in which I realize that I'm not as special as I thought I was (I am being dramatic and hyperbolic but still).

Took out my mini twists (finally); in loveeee with the ultra-defined fro. Game-changing style for sure, but I can't wait this long in the future to take them out bc the twists were majorly raggedy.

In this day and age, and into the future, I can imagine personal branding becoming more and more important in landing academic jobs. And by that I specifically mean having some sort of online presence that connects who you are to what you do. That one old friend of mine, probably the person I've known the longest outside my family even if we really don't ever speak, she is very successfully building an online brand doing just that, and it's pretty incredible to watch, actually.

Speaking of branding, I'm trying to come up with pseudonyms to change my name to. Mostly to minimize the effect of this blog on any personal branding I may decide to do (I recognize that the internet is forever and that the damage is therefore already done, but no one needs to know that I have a deeply and perhaps inappropriately personal tumblr whatsoever). Genuinely, I'm the kind of person to grow unreasonably attached to the first thing I come up with (floralfountainpens), but I want to spend some time considering several options. I give myself a month max to think on it.

Oh also I'm normally a matte lipstick girlie but my mom convinced me to try the maybelline lifter gloss and I think I actually kind of like it?? It's really buttery, non-sticky, and, best of all, works well with my skin tone even though it looks crazy pink. I've been a little inspired by Barbie, I guess. I dig it.

I'm watching phd vlogs on youtube (because of course I am), and this small vlogger I'm watching right now talked about how she was a commenter on some papers at a conference for the first time. As she was describing this role (and I've seen this done once or twice I think at the national conference I went to the past two years), I was horrified at first by how daunting the task seemed. I really struggle with trying to sound appropriately intelligent (...to prove that I am capable of being in a situation and not raise anyone's doubts which I now recognize is not a particularly healthy attitude), so coming up with meaningful commentary/critique, especially if on the spot, sounds horrific. Then, I realized how similar it is to something I did in my last two years of undergrad. For the last two years, I was a moderator for what is essentially a conference for my humanities program, and I had to perform a fairly similar task: asking insightful and coherent questions to panelist presenters whose work I was seeing for the first time. I actually received compliments on my moderation. So I'm not as fully unprepared for that kind of thing as I might think. Which is a little cool. [edit: I think one of the biggest takeaways from my experiences as a moderator is that coherent and simple but interesting questions are better than rambly and intelligent-sounding questions. Of course, I'd like to go to more talks and symposia in grad school to really dissect this kind of role so that I may be prepared for it, just in case.]

And you know while I'm far from being a crypto bro, I'm starting to like,,,, lowkey get into investing???? In the simplest ways possible, really, with a Roth IRA and a CD (and medium-yield savings account I guess), but the idea of getting started early, making regular contributions, and then possibly not having to worry about retirement (assuming we survive as a species long enough for me to get there) is kinda sick ngl. Most of my money isn't really liquid, I guess, which is a little nerve-wracking, but The Market generally seems to be headed upward, so I'm not pressed in the slightest right now. The FDIC can't hold my hand forever if I wanna see real gains. At least, that's how rich wealthy people see it.

Last thing: I liked Barbie for its obnoxious femininity. The first two-thirds or so felt like a release. It was silly, it was goofy, it made me smile. The last quarter or third or so in its seriousness did have a real message which I could relate to on some level, but it felt fairly didactic, especially the whole monologue on what it was like to be a woman or whatever. Like yeah, the message was there, but I felt like the movie beat me over the head with that bit out of fear that the audience wouldn't get it maybe? I think They Cloned Tyrone did a better job at having a clear overtone message without being as in-your-face with it (or maybe they just balanced the message with the plot a bit better idk). There are certainly other criticisms of Barbie that I've encountered, and while they have merit, I feel like I can just accept this movie as its own new thing. [edit: To add, a """seminal work""" [edit 2: isn't it peculiar, calling a movie like this "seminal" ... what about ungendered terms for the same thing... alternatives include influential, groundbreaking, formative, innovative. I like the term, generally, but I sort of wish there was a feminine equivalent.] doesn't need to be flawless, in my opinion. It merely needs to exist and set in motion some sort of change in thought as a result of its reception (whether that change is how the audience approaches media or how creators approach media or something else entirely). I think Lost is another example of an imperfect work that changed media and still deserves recognition despite its shortcomings. Time will tell whether Barbie is the start of some wave or if it merely remains a one-of-a-kind event.]

TODAY IM THANKFUL FOR THE STAR TREK STRANGE NEW WORLDS MUSICAL EPISODE???? Never in my life did I think that this serious sci-fi franchise would be able to pull such a thing off, but that error's on me because this franchise switches between silly and serious at the drop of a hat. Like,,,,, "Apologies, the most confounding thing: I appear to be singing; most unusual, so peculiar" LITERALLY CRYING AAAAAAAA THE WHOOOOooOOoOoOOooOLE THING (vocals, orchestration(!!!!!), plot, ensemble, choreo, technobabble) WAS SO STINKING FUN

((in two weeks im flying away.))

[edit: this post was all over the place (even more than usual) because it's more of a collection of thoughts from the past several days rather than a single entry written all at once]

[haldenlith]

More evening personal life rambling. Really rambling.

The more time goes on, the more I kind of get the vibe that I fall into that "probably won't find a partner" category. I know having the desire for a romantic (and sexual) partner is somewhat silly, and detrimental, but I'm not going to deny that it's there. It is. And I sort of have my doubts as time marches on due to a lot of factors.

My track record isn't exactly great, for starters. I've never managed to even get to "first date" status. I generally get shut down pretty fast. I don't know if I'm just bad at conversing or what. That aside, my lack of interest in a family or marriage has been a dealbreaker for some (okay, actually, all) gents I've conversed with, and I've generally (as in just when talking in a group) gotten shit for being polyamorous.

Gotta love living in a heteronormative, monogamy-centric society. And no, that was not a fun experience, because it came with a healthy helping of slut-shaming and talking about how gross having multiple partners like that is.

Being nonbinary hasn't come up in the past, by virtue of not being out back then (technically still not -- but only because no one IRL has ever asked -- I don't advertise it), but I suspect it would be an issue.

Actually, I think a lot of the issue is the location I live in. Living in the deep south as a queer with no interest in family or marriage makes me very much the odd man out. And with equally queer tastes in men, hoo boy. It's like a vegetarian being stuck in a meat packing plant. The landscape around these parts is either sleazy fratboy, the blandest of corporate white men, or ultra-masculine lumberjack that drives a pickup truck that has the American flag attached to the top and probably unironically voted for Trump.

Well, there's also a fourth flavor: cop.

Yeah, all of those choices do not spark any interest or desire. And no, I don't think I'm asexual. I have felt that attraction before. I (sort of) know what I like. I'm just also aware that the beauty standards of the average man in today's society do not line up with what I find attractive. In fact, what most people consider an "attractive man", I do not. Stripping these men of their status, and going purely on looks (yes we are going full objectification ray on them), if I were sitting at a table with my friends, and Chris Hemsworth or Henry Cavill, or even Michael B Jordan, strolled by, my friends would be tripping over themselves to probably try and get their numbers.

I would glance to notice that a person is passing by. That's... about it.

Now, (again, ignoring career and status), say, Booboo Stewart walked by, I'd do the full tuuuuuuuurn and ponder my angle of attack.

I wish he had a different nickname he went under, but it is what it is ("Booboo" as a name has... unkind connotations down here in my neck of the woods). Also, no, I've not seen anything he's acted in. I literally saw him (I think on Pinterest) once, was like "oh who is this tall drink of water" and went diving. His artwork is cool. Uninterested in his movies.

I have a thing for clean-shaven boyish and/or androgynous "pretty" guys with long hair.

They're, um, not common round these here parts, and when I have encountered them, I've been shot down (see above "not monogamous" + no children issues).

Add to that soup the Kinky Koolaid Man busting through the wall (I'm into kink -- though I am extremely inexperienced), and I've just decided that the odds are not in my favor, and I'm not sure I'll ever have the spoons to fight those odds (and that's without mentioning other issues like ageism towards AFAB folk, ageism in dating in general, transphobia, and general misogyny).

*puts on sock puppet* "Just move to a more open area when you get the opportunity, forehead!"

I'm sure if that ever happens, my prospects in making friends and finding the romance and intimacy my grey matter craves will increase, but I'm not hedging my bets.

Notice I said "if", not when. I'm still trying to get my degree, but also things seem... turbulent... in the graphic design sector of jobs, and the average pay seems to have dropped in recent years, so, yeah. One thing at a time.

But yes, these thoughts brought to you by examining my recent daydreamings of imaginary situations (generally centered around kink positive, sex positive, open and supportive relationships), leading to me thinking realistically about how one would even get into the imaginary situations.

[meenah-chan]

Safe Haven ~Epilogue~

A Barbatos x GN! MC fanfic

1.98k words

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Trigger warning: None

Requested by: @romaissa Thank you for waiting for this. I apologize for the wait. This turns out the way as I imagined it to be, more or less. I felt so fluffy as I edited this for the last time. I hope you'll like this last part. Enjoy~~ 😚✨💖💖💖

Part 1 (Safe Haven) | Part 2 (Safe Haven ~Another Story~)

Masterlist

A Barbatos x GN! MC fanfic

1.98k words

Genre: angst

Trigger warning: None

It was the same cliff… trees and breeze... The same dusk… But the voice calling them were not anymore...

… sensitive yet capable... One that withstand pain and hardship yet kept their gentleness.

Despite it being in the middle of the day, the sky enveloping the Devildom is dark. Very unlike that place. A place where the sun would shine so brightly even from the back of their mind. Not the human world where they grew up. Not the Celestial realm they visited once. It was only the Devildom whose light came from the moon and not the sun. Should the moon doesn’t exist in this kingdom, it’ll surely be pitch black.

Yet, in the dimness of the kingdom they’ve suddenly been to... Who would have thought I would meet my sun in such a place? A smile formed on their face as they delved deeper in their thoughts.

As they did so, a strong wind blew past them. It was strong, they didn’t notice someone approaching them.

“Oh!” a pat on their shoulder snapped them back from their deep thoughts.

“Y/N? What are you doing?” They flit their head behind and meet with the same, familiar eyes.

“Lord Diavolo... Nothing. And Queen Rose? Did something happen?” Their surprised demeanor was replaced with a confused one. Why wouldn’t it? Since unless some responsibility on the Kingdom required to, the royal couple is technically attached at the hip. Which is still pretty rare.

“Stop with those formalities. You’re making me sad.” As if he were not such a tall, well-built demon, Diavolo looks at them like a weeping dog.

“Alright, I’m just teasing you... So, what happened?”

“Rose got angry over one of my posts on Devilgram.” His pout becomes more obvious as he complains to them like a child.

“Oh, that picture.” Diavolo didn’t have to elaborate further for them to guess which one it is. It was a picture of Diavolo pecking the Queen on her cheek on their bed chamber.

“Even if I were her, I would be mad. You’re the rulers of Devildom after all. You can’t afford showing any vulnerability to your people.”

“But love is our strength!” He emphasized the last word with his hand gesture and furrowed brows.

Which only received a giggle from the human. “You sound like those princesses in the movie we watched yesterday.”

“Hey, I’m being serious… Since when did you take her side anyway?”

“I’m just speaking with reason.”

“You’re so harsh these days. Where is the angel I knew? Barbatos is rubbing on you a bit too much.”

“I won’t be if you were a bit more reasonable. And remember, Simeon can be scary too sometimes.”

Diavolo paused for a moment to think. “Right.” And let out a sigh. “Why can't I win a debate with you? I'm the King, you know.”

“Then be glad I'm an ally.”

“But Y/N...” Diavolo stared at them for a moment. “I noticed you're becoming more beautiful. More than ever.”

“...Where’s Queen Rose? She needs to know the king’s flirting with his ex—”

“Hey, I don't mean it! I mean, not that way! You're beautiful as a friend.”

“Beautiful more than ever as a friend, yes?”

“I mean it with pure intention! And Rose is the most beautiful! You know that!”

“Most beautiful. Favorite line, huh…” They sassily fiddled with their nails as they stared at it.

“Let's settle this here? I-I'll even grant you a wish.”

They glanced at him from their nails and stared at him. “Pfft— Hahaha!! I'm kidding, I’m kidding, pfft— hahaha! You should have seen your face, hahaha!”

“Are you messing with me again?” He frowned at them.

“I was but, hey. A wish from the King is rather enticing.”

Looking straight in their eyes, “Are you still mad because of our past?” he asked. As if he's been holding this question back for so long. In guilt of what they have been through because of him.

And with a smile, they replied “No.”

It was the truth.

They could never hold anything against Diavolo. They can never hate the man they fell in love with…

“Your face is just so hilarious I can't help it.” Rather, they wanted to see that expression one last time. That expression I adored way too much, as I fell beside the cliff.

“Since when did you become so fickle?” Yet despite his words, a sense of relief emanates from the Royal Demon.

He is now certain. He is finally free from the shackles he created himself. And they...

“Spare Barbatos some slack. Some regular day offs will do too and you’ll be absolved of your offense.” Without Diavolo being able to snap a last glance on their face, they turned their back to him and started walking. Despite it, a smile formed on his face.

“Consider it done...” He said as they wave as a response before disappearing from his sight.

I see you’re finally free from my curse... Diavolo chuckled as he left to return to his queen, ready to ask for another forgiveness.

---------

“Y/N.” It was the same cliff. The same trees and breeze. The same dusk who witnessed everything. But the voice calling them were not the prince’s anymore.

“Barbatos, you’re early.”

“I apologize for always making you wait for me but,” worry was showing on his face as he looked at them. “...do you always wait here this early?”

“Don’t mind it. I love waiting for you.” Barbatos’ heart skipped a beat from their words, a tint of pink forming on both person’s ear tips.

“A-Ah, right. You didn’t tell me you'll plant some flowers here.” They touched the petals of the Forget-me-not flowers as if to avert the butler’s attention.

It was as healthy as the one they took care of or perhaps even healthier.

“Were they not to your liking?”

“No, I… love them.”

“Then I'd be glad if that were the case. I raised them with the thoughts of you after all.” Even though Barbatos’ remarks were always like that, they couldn’t help but feel bashful everytime.

“Seriously, how can you say some cheesy lines so smoothly?”

“Hmm? I don’t recall saying such things.” He lifted a knuckle under his chin while glancing upward as if in thoughts.

“This guy..!” All they could do is shut up and frown. They couldn’t remember a time where they actually won on Barbatos’ wordplays.

“Is there something that displeases my flower?” Barbatos moved towards them when the frown they wore turned into a sad smile when they glanced again at the blue flowers.

“Well...” they sighed, Barbatos now stepping in to caress their face. “I just remembered the poor flowers I destroyed that day. I cared for them for a long time only to die from my own hands.”

Barbatos brushed his thumb to their cheek, fondness reflected in his eyes. “But they didn’t.” It was still like a dream for him to be able to hold them freely as he wished.

“What do you mean? Of course they will. I pulled them all off the ground myself.”

“Would you believe me if I said this plant was your flower’s seedlings and roots?”

“Y-You mean..!?” The human’s eyes snapped back to the Forget-me-nots. That’s probably why the flowers have the exact same shade and size as back then.

“I thought it’ll be a great gift for you.” He let them go to squat and check the flowers closely.

It took a while as they observed and admired the lush flowers. It was a comfortable silence, as Barbatos watched his favorite bud.

“Hey Barbatos.” Finally satisfied from staring at it, they rose on their feet. “I had some silly idle thoughts a while ago.”

“What is it?” He asked. But unlike them, the demon butler’s eyes never left his favorite flower. He could spend another millenia just gazing at them, and still say it’s the best sight he's ever seen.

“Devildom is a dark place no matter how I try to think of it.” He watch their back across the nightfall. The way the cold breeze brush through their locks. Those subtle shivers they give off as chills bites at their sensitive yet capable arms. One that withstand pain and hardship yet kept their gentleness.

“Then how come of all places, I’ll meet my sun there?” He tread beside them, not minding their words.

Not even the fondness in Barbatos’ eyes yields. Not in the slightest.

He knew. It was Diavolo. It will always be his Young Master. “He was so bright. So dazzling yet I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Diavolo will always be my sun.” And he… He already accepted this fact a long time ago. Staying by their side, until they found their happiness, is more than enough for him.

So instead of reacting, he removed his coat and placed it over their shoulder.

“I won’t forget. I will cherish the memories he left, no matter how painful it is. After all, he and the memories,” but they were thinking differently from Barbatos. They spun on their feet, suddenly facing him, who was just a few inches away from them, “...they all led me to my moon.” Their eyes were glistening, with him reflected in it. It took his breath– his words away.

“Shining through my darkest nights. Cradling me with its gentle light. Brushing off the tears from my eyes. My precious moon, who helped me remember that there’s still happiness beyond my sorrow.” They reached for his face. “Nights were supposed to be cold, yet he brings warmth instead. And you know what’s the most amusing thing?”

“In Devildom, whether it is day or night, you can see the moon in its brightest.” He never wants to assume anything, yet the way their thumb runs across his cheek so tenderly… The hope he hid with all his might, surges out wanting to be freed.

“Oh, but there is just one problem with my moon. He was so selfless, he wouldn't take me to himself.” The hand next to his cheek moved and brushed to the tip of his nose.

“Pardon?” He thought he finally sealed it away so perfectly, so why… With just a single touch…?

“I don’t wanna be single forever yet he keeps on ignoring my signs...”

“Wait, you mean…” But his promise… his vow to them...

“I still can’t say I don’t have any more feelings with Diavolo but I swear, I mean it. That’s why I’m already taking this to my hands… Hey–!” The knot within Barbatos’ heart came undone, along with the stream of tears he’s holding back due to their dreamlike words.

“Barbatos. Hey, don’t cry.”

They tried scooping his face with both hands only to stop by his own.“I’m so happy.” He placed one of their hands on his chest. It was warm, with his heart practically drumming crazily fast.

He never knew it’s possible to feel happier than the day they allowed him by their side. Incomparably so. It was at that moment he felt so… alive.

“I thought it’ll be a great gift for you.”

“This is the greatest gift I’ve ever received in my life.” He pulled their other hand and placed a tender kiss on its palm.

“I wonder if I can surpass this next time.”

“Then how about a kiss? Can I kiss you?”

“You don’t have to ask,” They took another step towards him, “I love you, my Luna.”

“I love you more, my Flora.” Barbatos sewed the space between them and soon, two breaths became one. All the words dissolved between their lips. Yet, all the emotions bottled up within poured out.

Of loneliness. Of longing. Of elation. Of attachment and inclination. With a spice of passion and devotion. All swirling together, filling the gaps in their hearts.

They parted just to converge again, like how their threads of fate crossed, unraveled and intertwined together.

The coldness of the night now utterly nonexistent within their moment, as they were embraced by the vivid rays of moonlight.

Part 1 (Safe Haven) | Part 2 (Safe Haven ~Another Story~)

Masterlist

[xnchxntmxnt]

OMG HAPPY 2OO LUV!! ILYSM, AND YOU DEFINITELY DESERVE MORE!! AS EXPECTED I'M HERE FOR THE MATCHUP EVENT AND I'M SO SORRY FOR BEING LATE KSDJFHSDF

1 | name : amie 2 | pronouns : s/her 3 | preferred gender : doesn't really matter 4 | self-description :

— it's ya clown sho <3 anyway, i'm an ambivert but more inclined towards the introvert side. my MBTI is INFJ and i'm a Gemini. i'd describe myself as someone who's very observant? yea, i guess. i'm awkward and you know it. My favorite color is blue, specifically sapphire, but i love all pastel colors. My fav show is Chicago Medical and all the psychological and crime thrillers out there are my favorite ( silent patient is my #1 though ) I love painting, playing piano and basketball!

— what i look in a partner you ask, uh, someone who can tolerate my silence. there are times when i go quiet for a whole day, i'll barely speak, no interaction nothing. i want someone who'd not exactly 'deal with it' but 'understand it.' also, i want someone who i can talk to without any hesitation. i have a hard time opening up so i don't do it but when i do, i spill almost everything. i might cry, might have anxiety attack, i might even shout. i know it's not very healthy but i want someone who can help me with those. plus someone who i can read with please <3 cheating and not having any respect for personal space would be the major deal breaker for me

5 | gen. aesthetic : my fashion sense starts from sweats and ends in sweats. i'm a big fan of those oversized hoodies and shirts, like something really comfy. however, i do have a collection of formal wears like blazers and dress.

6 | color/s to describe myself : red, actually. if not read then blue. it switchers but red 90% of the times.

7 | fav song/s : literally everything by Chase Atlantic and The Neighborhood. However, my absolute favorites are some of the famous classical pieces like Experience by Ludovico Einaudi and Chopin's Ballade No. 1 Op 23.

8 | fav genre of music : classical music ( Beethoven, Einaudi and Chopin own my heart )

Lol this is very lengthy I'm sorry, btw congrats again!

I looked into MBTI, I looked into zodiacs, I went off of what you said

Here he is, the man, Seijoh’s do-it-all guy

HANAMAKI TAKAHIRO ur new boyfriend

There is not enough content for him, anyway

How You Met

Bear with me here

Think about this

Artist!hanamaki

You love painting? Art club.

Idk if youre actually in any art club but shhh

Anyway, it was probably some sort of community thing full of tons of different age artists (bc you’d have basketball or something after school and he had volleyball)

So like once a week on thursday afternoons everyone gets together and does all sorts of artsy stuff

Everyone listens to lo fi music (or you can bring headphones) and chit chat and just paint for a couple hours

Its in the back section of a library (bc the library near me does stuff like this its awesome) so if you want you can go read a book while you wait for things to dry

One day the person that ran it suggested you talked to the new guy

He was about your age, it was his first day, they didn't know what all he was good at, and tbh they thought you two would look cute together

Just the vibes yk

So you set up your canvas and stuff next to him and introduced yourself

And you guys just vibe to the playlist

He’s REALLY good

Compliments you a lot too

Which is fun because he’s cute so it makes you a little flustered

You find out you guys go to the same school and he’s on the VB team

And says he has a (practice) game that weekend and asks you to come if you can

Which you do

And they win! So its fun!

Matsukawa basically asks you out for him though

He’s heard all about you already

“You don't get it issei! She’s so pretty!! God, she touched my hand and I thought I was gonna die!!!!!” “the enthusiasm is new for you” “shut up asshole” (conversation from the night before)

So he walks up to you after the game and is like “Hey so,,, we’re going out to get some lunch, you wanna come?”

Makki thinks HES flirting with you and is pissed off about it

Until you all sit down for lunch and oh, the only open spot for him is next to you (since when is matsukawa willing to sit between iwaizumi and oikawa??)

He asked you out after art club that week (Mattsun threatened not to give him any more monster for the rest of the month if he didn't get the guts to do it)

General Headcanons

You date hanamaki, you're also dating matsukawa

There’s no separating them (good thing ur MBTIs work together too, especially for strong friendships)

This was literally my first thought

So

Good luck with both these trolls

More on that later

Of course he’s going to be worried if you go radio silent for a while, but he'll understand

There are some days he’s not gonna wanna talk either

He’s really supportive on your bad days of course

Expect a random text in the middle of the evening from him

“Hiya sweetheart, just wanted to remind you that you’re beautiful, I love you, and I hope your day is going well.”

When he’s having a bad day, the same thing is all he needs from you to keep moving

He’s a really honest person. If you want to talk to him, be prepared not to get any sugar coating. If you tell him to shut up because you don’t want advice, he will. But if you expect advice from him, expect brutally honest advice. Subtlety is not his strong suit, so when it comes to advice, he’s going to tell it like it is. He's just trying to help, yknow?

However, he’s pretty good with people, so will know how to comfort you when something is bothering you. Tea and cuddles? Gotcha. Dancing at 11pm because neither of you want to sleep yet? On it. You want him to hold you? Perfect.

He’s not like...the most touchy person? There are some things he’s really indifferent on, and other things he’s stubborn as hell with. Whatever you wanna do, though

His weakness though

⚠️this part is slightly little bit suggestive⚠️

He will randomly walk up to you and pull you against him, give you a really deep kiss, smirk and walk away like nothing happened

Like hands in hair probably almost making out and then just

Walk away

Because that’s how he kisses and it’s breathtaking every time

It’s either little temple kisses or forehead or cheek pecks or something

Or that

And probably leaves you flustered and it’s funny (to him) (and to me if I was there with you) (bc that would be funny)

Hmm I’m thinking

I’m thinking hair dye dates

He needs help doing his hair from time to time Y’know (he doesn’t he just likes spending time with you) and he wants to make it pink again

So he teaches you how to do his hair and even offers to dye yours one day

Either just a strand or the ends or everything, up to you

Imagine having twinning hair dye with makki isn’t that cute

I think it’s cute

I said ur platonically dating mattsun right

Yes you are now

He absolutely adores you and loves how much makki loves you

Probably would have asked you out if makki didn’t but he was really pushing for makki to because he was just all over you in the beginning

He wasn’t overly attached to you romantically so being friends? Perfect. Sounds great

You two get along wonderfully though like you act like siblings once you warm up to each other

Again, very brutally honest person, but a little more awkward so doesn’t know what he’s saying might come off as he’s acting like a dick

He doesn’t try to though and he does really care about you

Flat out told makki if he breaks up with you and breaks your heart he’s gonna kick his ass (makki doesn’t know he had the same (less aggressive) conversation with you)

Tbh all of the VBC at seijoh loves you

Oikawa loves talking to you he thinks you’re great for makki

Gets you in on he and makki and mattsun’s antics

Iwa thinks you’re good too he just doesn’t know you as well

I think that kunimi would like you (he was almost a runner up--)

Kindaichi too

The first years just think you’re cool even if they won’t say it out loud

Seijoh VBC loves you

You got mattsun’s approval

And hanamaki loves you with literally everything in his life

So

You’re pretty set with your strawberry baby huh

Date Night!

SLEEPOVERS

I was waiting for some matchup to come along that gave me sleepover vibes

In a perfect world where you could do sleepovers with your bf because most parents would,,,not let that happen

Imagine…

He shows up at like 7:00 after practice, pizza in hand because he picked up dinner

You two eat, chat about your day, he probably scarfs down half the pie bc it’s after practice ofc he’s hungry

So when you guys are done eating you head up to your room

And make pillow fort

It’s mandatory

Different design every time, but there’s a pillow fort nonetheless

And then when there’s just enough room for the both of you to climb in

You get a blanket and a couple pillows and one of your phones or laptops or whatever and watch a movie and cuddle

When the movie is over you guys break out the face masks

You ever wonder why he has such great skin? It’s thanks to you (or if you don’t have masks, he picks them up on the way home from practice)

But anyway you guys talk shit about people for a while and sit with the masks on (it’s usually him talking about how Oikawa is a bitch as much as he loves him) (or about whatever he and Mattsun were talking about lately)

You both get chances to vent while the masks sit on your face and you just vibe with music (usually that you pick) (he listens to like,,,meme songs and like CORPSE yk)

After masks you guys make/get some snacks and munch on those during another movie but this time you’re in comfy jammies and more relaxed Y’know

Less paying attention to the movie you’ve seen a million times and just vibing in each other’s presence and it’s just really sweet

Fall asleep on his chest

Let him fall asleep on yours

Either way, you’ve got him whipped for you he loves you

Not that he doesn’t already but that’s his favorite thing ever so please just let him do that

Always makes sure to tell you he loves you before you sleep too

If you fall asleep first he takes embarrassing pictures of you with your hair being a mess & you best bet he sends them to mattsun because “she’s so cute omfg” “dude” “dude what” “you’re so fuckin stupid” “?” “Whatever—good luck being whipped just tell me when you need to get a ring, k” “you’re such a jackass” “yeah yeah Gnight”

Zodiac/MBTI

Okay so I’m not doing a big long paragraph for all this BUT from what I understand, Gemini/Aquarius are really compatible, and ENTP and INFJ are known as “perfect matches” sO (I had a really hard time deciding between Atsumu and Makki because they're both ENTP)

Psst Gemini + Leo is compatible and so is INTP + INFJ,,,, so, again, asking you to marry me sho 💍💍

Aesthetic/Vibes

Playlist

Prelude and Fugue No. 1 in C major, BWV 846

Linus and Lucy by Vince Guaraldi Trio (meme song)

Sky Full Of Stars by The Piano Guys

Someone To You by The Piano Guys

Shut Up And Dance - Simply Three

Runners Up

Miya Atsumu, Tsukishima Kei

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

1/3 Hello you, im writing to you cause you know alot more about SPN than I do and I'm currently rewatching s13-15 cause I dont really like Jack(hes ok) and I dont enjoy the show without caring for him and this was my attempt to remedy that andheres my question/problem: How and why can I accept that Sam, Dean, Cas considering Jack their son? A child is not just someone you care a bit about but (usually) a parents' center, love, light of their life, the person care most about in the world

2/3who they would die and kill for. And I just dont see where this comes from with Jack in the show. I just rewatched s14x08 and Dean calls their son to Lily Sunder comparing his loss to that of her own daugther and I just cringed. It's been less than 1,5 seasons that they even know Jack substract the time Dean spend distrusting Jack at the beginning s13, Jacks time away in the AltWorld and Dean being Michael and dont see where their relationship was authencially developed to

3/3 developed to justify and naturally reach a point of intensity and love that a father would feel for this. Someone he's grown to care about despite his initially rejection and would now (s15 maybe) consider part of his extened family, that I can buy, but early s14 equating their relationship to that of a parent/son is just something I cant buy whatsoever that takes me out of the story and feels so fake to me. Ugh whine whine :((( do you have some thoughts on that? sorry for spamming you:((

Hello you! It’s super okay, don’t apologize!! I’ve also had some trouble warming up to Jack, and I’m not sure I particularly care about him now, other than recognizing what the narrative is trying to do with him, the classic “the child becomes the parent” where they break the cycle of parental abuse that was done to them and learn to be better parents than their own were to them.

I think the crux of the matter is that Jack... is a child? But also isn’t a child? So it gets a bit confusing. If Jack looked like a child (okay it would be unpratical to have him fight wars in the body of a toddler, but, you know, something along the lines of the meatsuit Lilith was wearing when she was introduced?) it would probably be easier for us to accept what the narrative is telling us, I suppose.

I guess we should look at this through the lens of a child getting adopted at an ‘older’ age: I an not knowledgeable about this at all, but I imagine that when a pre-teen or teen gets adopted, there’s no immediate bonding like when you adopt a smaller child. Our brains, after all, are wired to make us bond deeply with babies and little children (that doesn’t mean we all have to automatically like children, we’re not just made of instinct, nowadays it’s also rare to find an abandoned baby only we can nurse back to health and protect. It’s more likely we do that with small animals lol) and it’s in fact proved scientifically that the whole array of phenomena that happens in the brain of a new mother also happens in parents (of any gender) that adopts a child. I doubt that the same happens, at least not in the same scale and speed, when you adopt an older child. Does that make the relationship between adoptive parent and child less deep or real? I don’t think so, it’s just a different dynamic.

The dynamic between Jack and his parents is also super different and definitely unique because of the fact of what he is and what circumstances are. Their relationship, especially the Dean-Jack one, is so complicated that feelings are just hightened by the whole extreme-ness of it. At least that’s how I read it - they go through such extreme feelings (massive fear at first because Son Of Lucifer(TM) then, you know, a rollercoaster) that even love, when it kicks in, is extremized.

So Jack is someone They Feel Very Strongly Towards since he was still in his mother’s belly! All that fear and horror (in Dean’s case there’s the added Cas’ betrayal thing when Kelly is pregnant, and of course Cas’ death when Jack is born, in Sam’s case it’s more a generic Lucifer thing which of course Sam feels more strongly than Dean due to his experiences with Lucifer) at some point turns into attachment. In Cas’ case, Cas had this supernatural extreme bond with the unborn baby, and Cas isn’t exactly the kind of guy that bonds to people lightly to begin with. Same goes for Dean, he feels everything strongly, and when he gets attached it’s intense.

In Cas’ case, he literally willingly gave his life away for Jack, and in Dean’s case... well, even trying to forgive him for Mary’s death is pretty big...

Finally, I think that they don’t have to have with Jack a relationship that you would recognize as a parental relationship. What counts is what they perceive as such. Dean, Sam and Cas all have a completely messed-up idea of what constitutes a parental relationship, you know? Cas didn’t even have one to begin with. Sam essentially had Dean, a literal child, and Dean and Sam both had an adult man who’d leave them alone and unsafe for weeks and when he’d show up he’d be drunk and violent. They don’t really have a healthy perception of parental love. They care about a kid? Bam. This must be how it feels to love a son! Which doesn’t mean it’s not real. It’s real to them, you know?

Let me know what you think! And don’t be afraid of messaging me about anything, I’m not bothered in fact it makes me happy!

[padawanlost]

You know what really gets me about Yoda? When Ahsoka goes to him about her vision of Padmé dying, he's like 'choose, you must, how to proceed, but be careful because the future has many paths.' When Luke has a vision about Han and Leia, he went 'You must choose, but I'm dropping major hints that you shouldn't go.' When Anakin goes to him with his visions of Padmé? 'Rejoice for those who join the Force.' What kind of hypocritical nonsense advice is that, Yoda??

BINGO! Yodais a hypocrite, that’s a fact. What astonishes me is this notion that Yodagives good advice. He has a terrible track record with counselling people. Infact, thing only work out well (or less tragically) when people ignore whateverhe’s told them. Yoda speech pattern might make him sound wiser but when youconsider all the things he has said and how it affected everything it becomes obvioushe causes harm. Yoda, when not being a complete hypocrite, is busy preaching unhealthycoping mechanisms and manipulating the truth.

Yoda’sadvices are some of the most quotable Star Wars moments and yet when I thinkabout them I see nothing but empty wisdom.

However,before I get more into it I would like to make a few things clear: this dealswith grief and coping mechanism so if this may trigger you, please do not readany further. Also, this is not an attack on people who find this particularadvice useful or comforting. If Yoda helps you deal with whatever is going onin your life, good. I have no problem with that. I just wanted to write about my own feelings on this matter and whyI believe this particular advice didn’t work for Anakin or for me.

This isquite long, personal (kind of, but not really) and it might be triggering soit’s under a “read more”.

It’s allvery pretty and helpful at first glance but once you begin to think about whatit all means or how to put it into practice you realized most of Yoda’s advicesare not helpful at all. One of his most famous quote is “Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you whotransform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leadsto jealousy. The shadow of greed that is. Train yourself to let go… ofeverything you fear to lose.” from ROTS and it’s also the one that bothersme most.

When Ifirst heard it I thought “oh! This isgood advice”. I was a sweet summer child. TBH, part of it could be consideredgood advice, especially the first part. But when you consider context and applicability it all falls apart. Ibroke it down into parts, trying to figure exactly why it doesn’t seat quitewell with me and here’s what I got:

“The fear of loss is apath to the dark side.”

Terribleadvice #1. When someone troubled comes to you with their fears, telling themfear is wrong and evil is never a good idea. You’re only reinforcing theinitial fear. Now the person is also afraid of their own fear as well. Imaginesomeone coming up to you and saying “I’m afraid my mom will die”, now imagineyourself saying “Fear is wrong. Let it go”. Does it really sound like good,healthy advice?

“Fear is a vital response to physical andemotional danger—if we didn’t feel it, we couldn’t protect ourselves fromlegitimate threats. But often we fear situations that are far fromlife-or-death, and thus hang back for no good reason. Traumas or bad experiencescan trigger a fear response within us that is hard to quell. Yet exposingourselves to our personal demons is the best way to move past them.”[x]

Yes, toomuch fear is a problem (in fact, that’s Anakin’s problem) but what’s  wrong here is that the fear is neverrecognized or validated. Being afraid is wrong and it leads to evil. That’s it.There’s not even a hint as how to deal with fear. There’s no “you need to faceyour fears”, or “you need to learn to control your fear”. Nope, all we get hereis: fear is wrong and you shouldn’t feel it.

It’s just awarning (not at all what Anakin was looking for) and an unhelpful advice.

“Death is a naturalpart of life.”

Fairenough. Can’t argue with that. However, I wonder if death affects Yoda (themost detached being in the Galaxy) the same way it affects Anakin and everyoneelse. Yoda is talking about grief, but grief is tied to one’s ability to feellove and empathy. Death is heartbreaking because of the loss attached to it.When you’re not connected to anyone and you’re incapable of deeply empathizingwith people, seeing death as fact of life is much easier. But here Yoda istalking to someone who:

Has a history of fear, emotional     instability, and deep attachments.

Just admitted is talking to some close to him:

Anakin: They are of pain, suffering. Death. Yoda: Yourself you speak of,or someone you know? Anakin: Someone. Yoda: Close to you? Anakin: Yes.

Ourattachments are what makes loss so devastating and personal. When we aretalking about Death as a concept, sure, there’s nothing wrong with reminding usthat Death is natural and unavoidable. But in a more immediate situation, wherethe threat is real (Anakin believes it’s real) it’s a rather cold thing to say.It’s the equivalent of saying “people die” to someone in a life-or-deathsituation. It’s not a lie, but it’s hardly helpfuladvice.  Anakin was not afraid of“conceptual death”. He was a soldier and a former slave. He was aware of deathas a fact of life. He was seeking advice on personal loss. Yoda, being the detached Jedi he was, was incapableof understanding the difference because to him there was no difference. ToYoda, every death is a fact of life, not a personalloss.

Althoughthere’s nothing fundamentally wrong with what Yoda said, his lack of empathymakes him lose some points in my book.

“Rejoice for thosearound you who transform into the Force.”

I’ve seenpeople interpreting this as “be happy this person lived” but imo, that’s notwhat he said at all. Yoda advice here is “be happy the person has gone somewhereelse”.

It’s not abad thing to say if we see “transforming into the Force” as the equivalent of anafterlife. Again, the problem here is not what he is saying but when he issaying it. Yoda is talking to someone who is afraid to lose someone they love,not to someone who has lost someone they love. He’s not talking about someonewho’s dead or dying.

Yoda: Premonitions, premonitions. These visions youhave… Anakin: They are of pain,suffering. Death.

They aretalking the possibility of loss and Yoda is already telling him to let go. Itfits the Jedi mindset but when we consider Anakin’s emotional state or a reallife situation it’s not helpful at all:

Person 1: someone I love might be ill.Person 2: be happy they’ll go to [insert any equivalent to the Force/afterlife here].

Once more,it’s matter of tact and compassion. The problem it’s not what Yoda is saying.It’s when, how and to whom he is saying it. That same sentence “Rejoice forthose around you who transform into the Force” would probably have givenObi-wan great comfort after the loss of Qui-Gon. But here, it doesn’t helpAnakin because Anakin is not ready to let go of his pregnant, healthy and ALIVEwife.

“Mourn them do not.”

This iswhat I was talking about. On paper, great. One practice, terrible. Mourning isa natural process. Dealing with our grief, learning to cope and moving on ishealthy. Pretending you’re unaffected by loss, is not. This a perfect exampleof toxic Jedi behavior. Conceal, don’t feel.

“Miss them do not.”

Seriously?!You can’t even miss them? Does this mean Yoda doesn’t miss all the Jedi Anakinkilled? Is this another example of Yoda’s hypocrisy or he truly doesn’t care?I’m torn on this one.

“Attachment leads to jealousy.”

True. Butthis is quite a big leap. He was talking about death and mourning, and his mindwent straight to jealousy. How does that help Anakin, or anyone else? this is basically,“don’t love anything or anyone, or else you’ll get jealous”. Seriously? Is thisreally good advice to give someone who is afraid of loss. Like I say earlier,this sort of “advice” only adds to the strain the person was already feeling.Not only no real help is being offered, their feelings are being criticized. InAnakin’s case, he’s being told he can’t help his loved one, he’s also beingtold that having a loved one is wrong and that even love itself leads to evil.

“The shadow of greed that is.”

*_____*

“Train yourself to let go of everything youfear to lose.”

Attachment= emotional bond (love)

Attachment-> Jealousy -> greed => dark side (bad/evil)

By Yoda’s(Jedi) logic here, attachment is the cause of all evil. And the only way toprevent evil is to prevent love. To prevent love, you must let go of everythingyou fear to lose. Yoda concludes his advice by saying “you shouldn’t care aboutthis”. You should let go of whoever you love, because love leads to bad things.That’s not good advice, to Anakin or to us. Good, admirable advice, would recognizethe person’s feeling and actually help them to deal with them, or at leastcomfort them.

To be fair,all the unhealthy implications above are not only about Yoda. It’s a about theJedi Order as whole and how their rules and beliefs harmed their own members.Yoda, Obi-wan, Qui-Gon, Mace Windu, Anakin and all the others felt the samethings we do: love, anger, fear, etc. and even if they weren’t attached tosomeone they were attached to the Order and their own ways and ideals. The Jediand their story is the proof this kind of thinking doesn’t work in practice. Ican’t think of a single character (who had contact with Yoda and the Jedi wayof thinking) putting all the above into practice. Here’s one example:

“The fear of loss is apath to the dark side.”

They allfelt fear.

“Fear, anger, hate. Consumed by the dark sidethe Jedi were.” Yoda to Kanan [Rebels]Right before the Jedi Purge, the jedi were so afraid to losing their power andinfluence they were willing to compromise their beliefs, spy on the chancellorand plot against the Senate.

Mace Windu: I sense a plot to destroy the Jedi. The Dark Side of the Force surrounds the Chancellor.Ki-Adi-Mundi: If he does not give up his emergency powers after the destruction of Grievous, then he must be forcibly removed from office.Mace Windu: It will be tricky. The Jedi Council will have to take control of the Senate to ensure a peaceful transition to a new government and a new leadership for the Republic.Yoda: Hmm. To a dark place this line of thought will carry us. Great care we must take.

Yoda’s “words of wisdom” are just more proof of his hypocrisy and damaging mentality that lead to the destruction of the Jedi Order.

[kosmicdream]

I'm sure we'll learn more about Locket, but I just had to ask. Did Knife pass on his terrible skin-removal-habits to his weird child? It seems like he probably didn't since Locket didn't know what Spoon's weird pillow was. But who knows! I want to know more about how Knife is as a dad and how that might be different between Locket and Fork.

I don’t mind talking a bit about him now! ;D While we wait. Here’s some juicy details about the newest Hekaton!! If you’re curious, read on. Its a bit spoilery though!

Locket is a lot like his dad in some ways. He isn’t too personally attached to his face either.. for complicated reasons of his own. One being, he deeply deeply hates Knife so.. if he sees anything that (he thinks) vaguely resembles Knife in himself, it isn’t something he wants there. (Get that out. Bye.!!) However, His mother was always VERY very strict with his self harming habits and he respects her DEEPLY so he doesn’t really partake in skin shedding as ..frequently. He just!!! feels very.. disassociated from his face, as well as his identity as Knife’s direct biological child. He mostly doesn’t want to have anything to do with Knife! Besides kicking his ass. (Funny tho..considering how he’d only look like knife MORE if he pulled off his face.. u cant win there, pal.)

He has a lot more self control in that face rippin’ department than Young Knife did. (or even old knife i guess, knife doesn’t really see any reason to not do those things unless its around fork.)Locket definitely has more of a healthy dialogue with himself over those self harming urges. Or at least an attempt to do so..? (even though he can regenerate anyway, he wants to find other methods to handling his issues than tearing himself apart.) Those impulses can be very strong sometimes and he thinks they are rather worrying.. he doesn’t like being a destructive person!!! to himself or to others!!!!! Its tough to resist though… I suppose it can feels like a natural thing to do when spikes stick out of your body? Something about it is satisfying, It just feels “Right.“ Then again, Hekatons do sort of adopt a lot of mannerisms/personality quirks from their lineage, even if they don’t realize it. (Locket was also pretty much was thrust right into intensive, sort of invasive… obsessive? therapy as soon as he was hatched. its probably influenced his behavior with uh, boundary issues. Who knows if that did more damage than good for him..) Anyway, Locket is a pretty outspoken, (generally) friendly! and confident young man. Although I suppose he hides who he is in his own ways. He also is somewhat of a pacifist, although he realizes that’s somewhat impossible in his world and the position he’s in. (deep down, its his wish to be a peaceful person. That feels like the right way to be. He wants to be good! Or be responsible for good things that is.. He is eager to please others, lol.) He just.. generally doesn’t enjoy acts of violence, mostly because of the complicated feelings that follow from it. Locket is still sorting how he feels. :/ He is young after all! And still somewhat sheltered and inexperienced.. He does believe murder = wrong though. He isn’t a fan of it!! He isn’t a fan of the death and pain his dad has caused, no sir.. I suppose he takes it as his duty and responsibility to bring him to justice..somehow. After all, he is also an E type!Also, Knife had absolutely no involvement in raising him. sad to say. Knife was basically like “who the fuck???? what????????” when Locket first made his presence known to him.Locket’s a little disappointed (even tho he expected it) that he is still far far outclassed by his father’s experience and skill but he is quite determined to be better than him… in every way that he can! He is still immensely proud of having the satisfaction over scaring the absolute shit outta the old potato though. B) Heheheh. Revenge is sweet.