#i'm sorry for making everyone emotional

[danandphilcatboys]

one of the older dan and phil vlogs popped up in my youtube recommended and i started thinking about dan and phil's relationship again (as i always do lol) and i'm actually even more jealous of them for having so many memories of theirs documented in videos like living together going out to the city putting up a christmas tree together etc (i think it's obvious what video exactly i'm talking about) and it's also while both of them have their own youtube channels and approaches to them they regularly appear in each other's videos.... so many of us just live our lives, not even thinking about stopping to document some moment in our lives for different reasons and then those moments never come back and we have nothing to remember it with no matter how bad it has been sometimes you cannot deny that they have so much stuff to look back on that literally makes me want to create my own youtube channel and go out looking for my soulmate

[where-i-overanalyze]

I Guess.

sorry for the insanely depressing edit. my friend on insta sent me this song and was like "this with moon Crona" and i became inconsolable. i had to spread the image to everyone else.

song is "I Guess" by Mitski

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I have a question for you guys.

I was rewatching Yosano's backstory episode (and cried again. what of it?) but something this time caught my attention.

In the scene where Fukuzawa and Mori are fighting and Fukuzawa angrily tells him his plans "lack humanity"... is the word they both use... not "kokoro"?

It would appear to be, from this manga translation. If that really is the choice of word, that's really interesting, because one of irl Natsume-sensei's most well-known books is the novel Kokoro.

What does this mean? Is Mori really following the plan Natsume laid out for them? Is he derailing from the initial plan with the exclusion of "heart/humanity"? Did Natsume intend for "heart" to be sacrificed in the name of defense? Or is this conflict, with "heart" at the center, exactly what Natsume needed for this plan to work?

And on Mori's end: this isn't his usual cold, impeccable logic. This is anger that Fukuzawa is getting in the way. More than that, it almost seems to me like Mori has a paranoid streak. Check this out here:

To be quite honest with you, Mori sometimes makes weird calls that imo aren't the best decisions - and they're all out of some fear he has, typically over the protection of the city and the country. Mori's takeover of the Port Mafia is seen as overall a good thing - because the previous boss grew increasingly paranoid and started ordering unnecessary violence, something Mori himself wishes to avoid whenever possible. Yet his projection onto Dazai causes issues during the Mimic incident - sure it was logically sound, but he lost Dazai for it. Was it really then the best solution there was? And what about Yosano - so caught up in what she could prove and what she meant for the war effort that he failed to consider her taking drastic action out of sheer despair? It's interesting that Mori, who advises others on not letting their fears and emotions get in the way of strategy, is prone to the same thing at times. Might he get worse at this kind of miscalculation? It'd be altogether kind of tragic if he messes up later in the story out of paranoia, considering his predecessor's legacy...

Edit: I changed the last bit, as it's left somewhat unclear if part of Mori's reasoning in the whole Mimic incident was to get Dazai away from him - in fact, it's likely that wasn't the case at all and Dazai was just saying this to intentionally get under his skin. Unfortunately I am a bit of dumbass who misinterpreted this line on first read, and now read it differently:

He's sticking with the logicality of it - one person's life for a gifted business permit is a worthwhile sacrifice, even if it drove away his right hand man. Either way, whether it's projection (Dazai is just like me, so he'll understand) or paranoia (he is going to inevitably kill me someday - which is still kinda projection imo) or some combination of the two - I think the original point still stands: maybe focusing all your efforts on ensuring you're always prepared for some eventuality or other means you overlook things you deem less important or irrelevant. Maybe removing heart from your decisions... isn't actually the best call in the end.

[cowboyskeletons]

they did it

also willscam

[sinileijona]

so stick him in a dress and he's the only boy i'd shag the only boy i'd anything is andrew in drag

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

anyone else ever get struck with a sudden feeling of distaste or being tired of someone who you usually really like/are friends with for literally no reason whatsoever? or is that just me

[the-black-bulls]

hear me out- luck x langris. (honorable mention for polyam luckxlangrisxmagna). I read a fic once with these pairings and I gotta say, im a little obsessed

send in ships to get these classifications

oooh, I remember reading the fic you're talking about.

for me both ships are a fun one-time thing, neither make sense to me nor do they compel me because langris feels so out of nowhere with these two 😅

I think I prefer the idea of luck/langris more with a good context, but not by a lot, since luck is a character I have a hard time shipping with anyone - even manga.

now if this is an au where langris is a black bull... I'm in.

I know I said dark triad but it's %80 dante lmao

vanica/megicula:

does it make sense... it does, in the most tragic and horrofic way

does it compel me... megi literally turned vanica into a crispy burnt breed anon, I think you're understimating how obsessed I can be with dark comedy.

zenon/allen:

does it make sense... obviously!

does it compel me... not sure, it's the background sorta ship, it is there and I aknowledge it but I don't really care about it

when you said CRACK SHIPS, you really meant it anon lol

make sense, doesn't compel me:

vanessa/nero: this is a bit complicated because I headcanon these two to outlive everyone and live the rest of their lives together, but shipping-shipping wise I don't really see it.

charmy/noelle: ah, finally a real challenge to my charmy harem agenda... noelle would always be eager to be spoiled by charmy and snuggle with her (who doesn't?!) but that's only cuz noelle is the Little Sister, surely she may get charmed by charmy (and how can you blame her?) but I'm perfectly comfortable in my Lil' Sister Noelle corner :)

neutral:

henry/gauche: I mean, not something I'd ship personally but I'm curious how it'd play out, y'know, since henry straight up went to throw his life away for gauche's sake.

elf fana/leo: no thoughts head empty I'm neutral (hold up can fana get salamander back as a wedding gift? cause this maaaaaaay add points for this ship to me)

[killa-trav]

the travis can't read shit is so fucking jarring like why do ppl act as if this man is the dumbest person ever

[tantamounttoflirtation]

Love when two people who have been alone and misunderstood their entire lives can find acceptance and understanding in one another. This is a totally normal thing to enjoy and its definitely not indicative of a deeper insecurity on my part haha

[choking-on-roses]

It deeply bothers me that nobody in my life ever responds to messages from me and they often leave me on read even when I'm talking about something really important

On the other hand it leads to some pretty hilarious conversations when days later I send a meme

[lady-harrowhark]

What do you imagine weddings in the nine houses are like? Do you think they still wear white or abide by any more traditional pre-resurrection customs? Since Jod drew so much inspiration from both Rome and Catholicism (Catholic wedding doctrine is based on the ideas of free will marriage that were tradition in ancient Rome) I think it's likely but there has to be some insane necromancy element too. Maybe a riff on the eucharist from wedding masses? Also, how do you think it varies from house to house? You always have really fun and creative ideas about the world, so I thought I'd ask your opinion about one of my favorite random headcanons to think about. (P.S. I hope the eras concert was fun!!)

Oh gosh, first of all, that is incredibly flattering lol. Second... I actually hadn't given this just a ton of thought before getting this, so it's been fun to thing about!

I think they probably resemble Christian/Catholic wedding ceremonies enough to be recognizable as such, but I would love it if they were like, the funhouse mirror version of that. I LOVE the idea of the Eucharist being involved prominently, but maybe even at a more symbolic level? Like we could obviously tie that to the whole "consume the flesh" thing, but I just feel like Tamsyn could come up with a really cool play on that concept that would never even occur to me lol.

I kind of doubt they wear white; I don't really have a good rationale for this other than vibes. Just thinking about how we see a decent range of aesthetics across the clothing of the Houses, especially in color, it would track that they have differing customs for wedding/ceremonial attire as well. Like, I can't really imagine that the Sixth whole gray librarian thing translates into formalwear the same way that say, the Third does (although using the Third as an example feels like cheating, because I suspect they go over the top for EVERYTHING so no one was gonna be doing it like them anyway lmao).

As an aside, I'm pausing for a moment to push one of my most indulgent AtN bingo card items, which is Harrow wearing white. I know the Lyctor robes are like, iridescent white, but I mean purely white. With Alecto getting so much imagery around light, and how Harrow describes her in the Tomb as wearing wearing "a white shift", it could be a cool parallel. Oh also, now that I think about it, the whole thing about Harrow being a nun, i.e., "betrothed to the Locked Tomb". Plus like, there's something there about the way it would be close to but not exactly like the iridescent white of the Lyctor robes, like, John was trying to emulate that and could only achieve a flashy approximation. And something something Harrow setting aside the black of the Ninth something mumble. But mostly, I'm heart eyes over more wedding/marriage imagery for her and Gideon 🥰 (Idk what to make of that in contrast to the white that the Tower Princes wear, but it's entirely hypothetical at this point, which means that I can ignore anything that doesn't fit my agenda.)

On my last reread, one of the little details that I was actually really taken by was that Magnus is noted to be wearing a wedding ring. So that tradition still stands, at least for the Fifth, and I absolutely melted over it.

I would kind of assume the vibe of a wedding ceremony varies from House to House, maybe along the lines of what we know about the cultures of each and what they tend to emphasize. If that's the case, I would LOVE to see a Seventh wedding; I bet it's gorgeous and deliciously fucked up. I'm really really curious about the wedding that Tamsyn has mentioned being in AtN, especially because she mentioned party dresses, and you know how I love putting blorbos in outfits. I suspect that her saying that is a bit of a red herring... Like if I'm giving my best guess, there WILL be a wedding (an actual one, not just a symbolic Lyctorhood whatever wedding) BUT I don't it will be the focus. I could see it being used really neatly as backdrop for some heisty business, more of a plot device to get people all in one place or as a distraction. I'm not getting my hopes up to see the actual ceremony, I guess is what I'm saying. The real action might be happening in the next room over.

(and P.S. THANK YOU! It was AMAZING and honestly, probably the best night of my life and also I cried for basically the entire thing, I still cannot believe I was lucky enough to be there. I got to go with my best friends, who live quite far away from me and I hadn't seen since January, which made it that much more fun. We went to the second night, and we mostly stayed off our phones/away from any social media so that we could go in and be completely surprised without having seen anything about it, and I'm so glad we did! I wouldn't have held out if we were going to a different date lol.)

[itsanit]

I can feel myself becoming a worse person everytime an x reader fic doesn't specify that the reader is female

[chompe-diem]

GIRL THE NADDPOD DISCORD'S RELATIONSHIP WITH ELDERMOURNE SLANDER I CAN'T-

[juriyuna]

There's something refreshing about how Juri's reluctance to make friends was less "What if they don't like me?" and more "I know I struggle with my temper because of my mental illness, and I know I'll inevitably get mad about something and end up hurting them".

Characters who are afraid of being disliked because of their personality, or who are socially anxious in general, are pretty common, but it's not often that I see characters who are scared of being the one to hurt others with their personality. I love how the story digs into that, with all of the ugly parts and anxiety that come with it-- especially where we get to see that Juri does end up making friends she loves, who love her in kind, and who help her learn to manage her problems.

[gloriousmonsters]

it's fascinating to see people running the exact same scripts as trensmeds/exclusionists but for mental illness.

I just crossed paths with a post that was a screenshot of a tiktok where someone was clearly frustrated because 'I thought I might have autism but when I tried to bring it up with my therapist she said she literally wouldn't discuss it with me because 'everyone thinks they have it because of tiktok', and the original poster/about 90% of the notes were... celebrating this. Either variations on 'lol based psych' and 'she was right' or people explicitly saying shit like:

'Well, I was trans diagnosed with autism/adhd before it was cool and trendy! I can't believe that the diagnostic criteria is getting made stricter, it's the fault of those transtrenders tiktok kids who pretend to have mental illnesses. I get to gatekeep because I really suffered!'

(Shoutout to the confusing outlier who sagely was like 'and usually they just have bpd' in the tags. just???? just, my fair sir? also source???)

And like. It makes sense and is also so incredibly frustrating for the same reasons as transmed/exclus stuff. When you're a hurt person stuck interacting with a system that makes a lot of decisions about your personal autonomy/function, it messes with your head. It taps into that particular reaction to trauma that there was that one great post about--the mindset you get in when you see people get help when you didn't, and get furious and often default to 'it shouldn't be so easy' or 'why should they get help when I didn't?' And if you're struggling with a system that is, lbr, way more about luck in what specific people you got to talk to than any kind of well-built system, which is historically very flawed and still very flawed... well, a lot of people don't want to admit the system is a crapshoot and the people in it can be wrong so, so often, because then what about my diagnosis? my confirmation that I am what I am? fuck kids with stargenders and self-dxed teenagers with autism, I suffered for this, you can't take it away from me.

Which they aren't. If diagonistic criteria for anything is being made stricter, that's not on tiktok teens, it's on the people who write the criteria and decided that this was how they were going to handle an uptick in people thinking they are/might be autistic. If people are passing anti-trans legislation, that's because they're transphobes, not because of demigirls and non-op trans people. And are all of these kids queer, or mentally ill/ND, in the way they think they are? Probably not. Being a teenager is fucking confusing and often traumatic, and it's also a time when most of them are investigating and trying to build their identities. But I'm willing to bet that almost all are genuinely struggling with something/deviate from 'the norm'; if you want to stop kids from 'believing they're something wrongly' maybe focus your energy on putting the message out that it's ok to be wrong about things, that self-discovery is a process-- in this specifically, how to interact with mental health diagnoses and manage your symptoms, no matter where they stem from, in helpful ways, etc etc.

But please do the bare minimum and don't let personal pain turn you into a bitter, smug asshole who celebrates when they see kids experiencing gatekeeping that could really, really fuck them over, OK? Like physical disability and queer identity, the few 'fakers' you'll 'catch' by being cruel and suspicious will in no way be worth the people dead because only people who REALLY need help should be able to get it.

[cookinguptales]

I know that people follow me for wwdits or the muppet show or whatever but apparently my one true fandom love is interactive art/theatre exhibits that allow me to give into my worst hyperfixation urges and glean the story through drips and drabs and thrown-away love notes

and my favorite fics are the absolutely fucking unhinged trippy ones that try to assemble all these exhibits into something absolutely heartsick

but due to the fact that all of these canons literally have to be physically experienced in a specific place (and occasionally even specific time) the fandoms are tiny and weird and I don't... think usually read fic...

so I'm like fucking FINE I'll write fanfiction for the TV SHOW THAT WE CAN ALL WATCH TOGETHER but just know that in my heart I'm writing something unhinged about the halloween party that was at an interactive theatre exhibit in new york three years ago