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gra-sonas · 4 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes Characters: Alex Manes, Michael Guerin, Isobel Evans Additional Tags: Minor Isabel Evans/Gregory Manes, Canon Disabled Character, Soulmates, Handprint Summary:

"Listen, darlin’. I don’t think because I say darlin’ that’s gonna bring you your soulmate. But, maybe I’m wrong, maybe I don’t fully understand and they’re gonna find you, darlin’." - recorded by Cowboy for Airmanes

Michael used to work for an anonymous, queer-friendly sex hotline (going by the nickname Cowboy) while he was in college, and Alex commissioned him to record a message for him while he was deployed. One day, their paths cross.

Alriiiiight, happy Malex Monday! I meant to write a short ficlet, inspired by Vlamis recording a message for a fan, saying darlin’ three times. For reasons unknown, this turned into a 5.5K fic I wrote this afternoon/evening.

This is a soulmate AU, and there’s some handprint stuff going on. And while this is mostly fluff, the fic is rated Mature (I know, *gasp*). Uhm, enjoy?

~*~

When Alex listens to the message Cowboy has recorded for him, he has a hard time (pun intended) keeping quiet and not scream into his pillow. It's a close call. Even though the need to get off is overwhelming, he's careful to move his body into a more comfortable position without jostling the bunk bed too much. He hears Ogden in the bottom bed grumble in his sleep once, but he doesn't wake up. Small mercies.

Alex feels like an hour passes before he can finally wrap his hand around his hard cock and take care of his needs with the tiniest movements. He keeps listening to Cowboys recording over and over again, and he manages to time his orgasm with the final darlin' of the message.

Wow, Alex doesn't want to exaggerate, but he thinks he's never come harder in his life. Cowboy's voice's just doing it for Alex, always, has. But the darlin'? Surefire way to get him off in no time. It's the first night in a long time that Alex sleeps so deep, that not a single nightmare haunts his dreams.

The recording continues to bring Alex comfort and orgasms in the middle of an ongoing war, and he can't help but dream up scenarios where he meets Cowboy one day, and they realize that they are indeed soulmates. A soldier can dream, right?

Months go by and after one fateful and utterly horrible day, the war is over for Alex. He returns home to Roswell via a short stint in Landshut, Germany. Half of his right leg is missing, but they give him a purple heart as a consolation price and a thank you for his service. Not that anyone actually thanks him.

It takes Alex another couple of months until he can walk again without the help of a crutch. He celebrates this newfound mobility freedom at a local bar, the Wild Pony. He's sitting at one of the tables, nursing a beer, when two people occupy the table next to his. A tall blonde woman, and a handsome man with curly hair that spills out under the brim of a black cowboy hat. A cowboy hat. Alex tries not to be too obvious, but he keeps looking at the man every now and then.

He can't hear what they're talking about, their voices a soft murmur, but then someone feeds the jukebox with a dollar, and suddenly the couple has to raise their voices.

"Come on, Michael. Don't be such a sourpuss. I want to celebrate that you're back home. It's been a dull year without you. I've talked to Max, he's promised to be on his best behavior," the woman says.

Michael. "Nice name," Alex thinks. He's just reaching for his bottle to take another sip when Michael answers.

"Ugh, Iz, do I have to come? I'd love to spend an evening with just you, but you know Max, he won't stop nagging me."

Alex freezes. He knows that voice. Intimately (well, in a way). But the man can't be Cowboy, can he? In Roswell of all places? Alex tries to be subtle by moving his chair a fraction of an inch to get a better view at the neighboring table.

He keeps staring and almost jumps up when the woman (Iz)'s phone starts buzzing. She checks the display. "That's Greg, I have to take this call outside. Please don't leave, I'll be back in a minute."

Michael demonstratively takes his hat off and puts it on the chair next to him. He smiles at her. "No worries, I'll still be here. Say hi to your beau and tell him I hope to meet him soon." She grins. "Not sure I should introduce him to you. He's your type, brother dearest."

Alex can't see Michael's face properly, but his voice sounds annoyed. His voice, that Alex is fairly certain, is that of Cowboy, the man of his (sex) dreams. "As if I'd ever make a move at someone who's involved with someone else, let alone someone who's dating my sister, who also happens to be my best friend."

Iz laughs. "Good boy. Now give me a minute, I have to talk to my boyfriend." She leaves.

Alex's hands are sweaty because now would be a good moment to approach the man, but what would he even say. "Hi, you're that guy from the queer-friendly sex hotline, and months ago you recorded a message for me I like to get off to. Nice to finally meet you in person."

Not awkward at all. But he also needs to know what the man looks like. So far, he's only seen part of his face (there seems to be stubble, which Alex approves of) and lots and lots of unruly honey-golden curls. In an unplanned move, he accidentally knocks his beer bottle over and the remaining beer spills all over his table.

"Damn," he mumbles under his breath, patting down the pockets of his jacket in search of tissues to mop up the mess.

Suddenly, there's movement at the table next to him and Michael turns around, a squarely folded piece of cloth (a bandana?) in his hand. "Here, take this."

Alex feels dizzy looking at the man. Not in his wildest dreams did he imagine that Cowboy would look like that, but now? Even if this man turns out to be not Cowboy, Alex will forever have this visual when he plays the darlin' message.

Not the moment to think about that, though. He collects himself enough to say something. "Uhm, are you sure? That looks very nice and clean, I'm sure they have paper towels at the bar."

Michael's smile is almost blinding. "Don't worry about it, it's one of my oldest bandanas, it deserves to die in the most heroic way – drowning in alcohol."

Alex snorts. "Okay, thank you." He reaches for the bandana, and for a second, their fingertips touch. Alex's vision goes blurry and he tries his best to inhale, but there doesn't seem to be enough air to fill his lungs. He gasps.

When he feels a strong, warm hand clapping down on his shoulder, he can suddenly see clear again, his lungs expand without pain, and warmth is flooding his body.

He goes almost pliant under Michael's touch (because of course it's his hand).

"Wow," Michael says, and if that isn't the perfect word to describe the situation.

Alex tries to remember how words are formed. "Do you feel it, too?" Michael just nods. "In Roswell of all places," Alex says dryly.

Michael snorts. "You wouldn't believe how apt that actually is. All things considered."

"I don't know what that means, but I'm sure I'll find out eventually. I mean, I don't want to assume, but I will find out eventually, right?"

"Yes, beautiful stranger, you will. I never expected this to happen to me, but now that it did happen, I want to know everything about you. What's your name, handsome?"

Alex can't believe that this beautiful man is his soulmate, let alone that he found him in this godforsaken town he'd never expected to return to before he lost his leg.

"Well, handsome does have a name. It's Alex. And you are—."

Alex takes a calculated breath before he says "Cowboy," at the same time Michael says "Michael."

They stare at each other. Michael's eyes are wide. "How do you—?"

Alex blushes, and he considers not answering the question for a second, but this is his soulmate asking. "I'm—I'm not just Alex, I'm also darlin'."

Michael's eyes grow impossibly wider, then he bursts out laughing. "Oh my god, that was you? I couldn't stop listening to your message either. It's been very – how can I put this – inspiring?"

"Well, in true Pavlovian fashion, I can promise you that calling me darlin' will get me hard and off in no time," Alex says, keeping his voice low. He should be beet-read, but he's beyond feeling ashamed. In fact, he feels emboldened, and if the glint in Michael's eyes is anything to go by, he's certain there's one hell of an orgasm in his near future.

Before he can put more thought into that possible scenario, Iz returns to the table. She looks at both men and raises an eyebrow.

"Michael, why are you holding hands with this man?"

Michael looks down at their clasped hands, apparently, he doesn't know either when they started holding hands. For a moment, Alex considers letting go of Michael to greet Michael's sister properly, but he can't bear the thought of losing the physical contact right now.

Michael kisses the back of Alex's hand, then he looks up at Iz. "Isobel, this is my soulmate. His name's Alex."

"He's your—Michael! I leave the table for five minutes, and I come back to you having found your soulmate? I didn't even know that we could until recently." She seems exasperated, but then her smile goes soft.

She sits down across from them and looks at Alex. "I'm sorry, Alex, I didn't mean to be rude. This is just a lot to take in. Uhm, I've met with Michael tonight to convince him to come and visit me, and spend time with our brother Max tomorrow. And I haven't been quite honest with Michael."

She squeezes her eyes shut and takes a deep breath. "Michael, Max and I were going to tell you, that we met our soulmates this week. Max bumped into Liz who's in town to visit her dad, and I happened to meet Greg at an event I organized for his school."

Alex perks up. "Greg isn't Gregory Manes, though, right? Teacher at the elementary school up at the reservation?"

Isobel blinks. "How do you even know about him? Oh my god, you're his brother! You're Alex Manes!" Alex nods. Isobel looks at him more closely. "Now that I know, it's obvious, you look so much alike. This is wild. I think I need a drink. You in? Shots are on me."

Alex and Michael look at each other and nod. There are only so many earth- and life-shattering revelations one can handle without being at least a little bit drunk.

Isobel stands up and walks over to the bar to order. The bartender reaches for one of the top-shelf bottles. Well, they have something huge to celebrate, this definitely calls for the good tequila.

Michael nudges him. "So, I know this has already been a lot, but there's something else you need to know about me, but I'd rather tell you about it when it's just the two of us. It's nothing bad, don't worry, I'd just prefer to tell – and show – you in private."

Alex smiles. "Whatever it is, I can handle it. Just real quick before your sister comes back. Does she know about the hotline job?"

Michael shakes his head. "No, she doesn't, actually. I got my engineering degree at UNM, and I picked up the job to make a little extra money for all the things my scholarship didn't pay for, and those requested messages were paid really well. It's been a great job, I was actually quite good at it, too, but now that I have my degree, it's a thing of the past. I don't really mind anyone knowing, but I'd rather this stays our naughty little secret."

"Oh, believe me, I'm not overly eager to tell anyone that your voice has provided me with some of the best orgasms. No need to look so smug, Michael," Alex grouses, but he smiles.

Michael turns his head, his face is very close all of a sudden, and his lips look plush and moist and oh-so-kissable. They look at each other.

"Alex," Michael whispers.

Alex closes the distance between them and then they kiss. Stars align, the universe expands, and Alex knows he's finally home. Not in Roswell, they could be anywhere right now, on this planet, or in another galaxy. No, home is in Michael's arms, in the sweetness of his breath, the sound of his low moans, and the soft touch of his fingers caressing the hair at the nape of Alex's neck.

"Ah, first soulmate kiss. I remember. So intense," Isobel says, and places three shot glasses and a bottle of tequila on the table.

They don't want to stop kissing, but they do. It's the polite thing to do. But it's hard. Alex would rather be alone with Michael. As if he's been reading his mind, Michael leans closer and whispers "One shot, then we leave. She'll understand. But I need to be alone with you."

Alex closes his eyes and inhales deeply in an attempt to calm his nerves. Michael's scent is intoxicating, he smells like leather and rain. Alex wants to drown in the smell. When a cold shot glass is shoved into his hand, he blinks his eyes open again.

"Earth to Alex, are you back with us?" Isobel smirks, but her eyes are kind and understanding.

"Yeah, sorry, it's just a lot to take in, and Michael smells so good. I'm sorry, but can we get this over with? I really need to be alone with him."

Isobel nods. "You know what, why don't you take the bottle home with you, and some time this week, we all meet and celebrate."

Michael nods and picks his hat up from the chair. "Excellent idea. I knew you'd understand." He kisses Isobel on the cheek. "You told Greg though, right?"

Isobel nods. "Yes, he knows. Liz, too. And—," she whispers something into Michael's ear.

Alex thinks he hears Isobel mention a "handprint" (whatever that means) but he assumes they're referring to the thing Michael will tell him when they are alone, so he doesn't ask what they're talking about. It's comforting to know that his favorite brother knows, though. It'll be good to have someone to talk to he trusts implicitly.

They hug Isobel (who also smells like rain, Alex notices), then they head out to the parking lot. Since Michael's currently living at a motel, the decision's easy where to go. They leave Michael's old truck ("don't ask, we've been through a lot together, and I'd never give up on her") at the Pony, and take Alex's SUV instead.

He doesn't live too far from the bar, and they enter his house not ten minutes later.

There's just enough time for Alex to put down the tequila bottle on the dining table before Michael pulls him into his arms. They're still wearing their jackets, and Michael his hat. Before Michael gets close enough to kiss him, Alex nods in the direction of his bedroom.

"There's a very comfortable and very big bed behind that door. We both know where we're headed anyway, and I'd like to take the prothesis off," he says, holding his breath after the revelation. He knows that his soulmate won't reject him because of it, but it's still a very personal thing to disclose.

Michael doesn't even blink, he just smiles and leads Alex to the bedroom. He makes Alex sit on the edge of the bed and kneels down in front of him. Alex's breath catches. Michael takes off his hat and jacket and drops them on the floor to his left, then he turns back to Alex and unlaces Alex's boots.

Alex opens the button and zipper of his jeans, and cants his hips to wriggle them down without having to stand up. He doesn't quite succeed. "Damn, I'm stuck, sorry. I have to stand up again."

Michael shakes his head. "No, you don't. Do you trust me?"

Alex stops and thinks about it for a moment. Does he trust Michael? The simple answer is, yes. He just knows that he can trust Michael. He nods. "I do."

Michael looks at him and holds his gaze, when Alex's butt slowly lifts off the mattress. He gasps, but he keeps looking at Michael. Michael smiles softly. Then he reaches for Alex's jeans and pulls them down, while Alex is floating a few inches above his bed.

Alex's thoughts are racing. He should be scared, his soldier instincts should kick in, and maybe he should fight, but he does none of that. Because he doesn't feel threatened. He feels safe. Michael won't hurt him, that he knows with absolute certainty.

As if by magic, he slowly descends, until he sits on the edge of the bed again. Michael kisses Alex's left knee, then he turns his attention to the prosthetic on his right leg. Alex is about to tell him what to do, when he feels the prosthetic coming off. He groans in relief. He'll have to pace himself and not go entire days without the crutch too often for a couple more weeks.

Michael removes the leg and pulls the liner down to reveal Alex's stump. Alex scrunches his face. Not in disgust of how the stump looks, but he knows how it probably smells. But Michael is unfazed, though. He leans forward and kisses the tender skin of Alex's stump. Alex is close to bursting into tears because of the tenderness of the gesture.

His voice sounds a little wet when he speaks. "I need to take some meds. Would you mind getting them for me from the bathroom cabinet? They are labeled 'evening'."

Michael nods and gets up from the floor. Before he leaves, he presses a soft kiss to Alex's lips. "Thanks for trusting me."

Alex wants to reach for him and tumble backwards with Michael in his arms, but he knows he'll regret not taking his medication, so he doesn't. Thankfully, Michael's back with the pill bottles in a heartbeat, and Alex uncaps the bottle of water on his nightstand and takes his pills.

Meanwhile, Michael toes off his boots, pulls his shirt over his head, takes off his socks, and drops his pants in a heap on the floor. When he looks around the room wearing nothing more than his briefs, Alex pats the free space next to him. "Come here, sit down. I'm ready to listen to whatever you're going to tell me in a minute, I just need you close for a moment."

Michael almost trips over his jeans in his haste to sit down next to Alex. Alex immediately realizes how anxious he is, and somehow that soothes his own nerves. He reaches for Michael's hand and laces their fingers together. Michael's hand trembles, and Alex squeezes it.

"You don't have to worry, Michael. I know you're going to tell me something extraordinary, but I can handle it. I won't reject you. Relax."

Michael snickers. "Well, you could say extraordinary, extraterrestrial would be more accurate, though."

Alex swallows hard, but deep down he knows that Michael's not joking. He squeezes Michael's hand again. "The 1947 crash was real?" Michael can't do much more than nod.

"So, you're a descendent of a group of people not from this earth who crashed here some 70 odd years ago?"

Michael looks at him. "I guess you could say that, although I have to add that I was actually on board of the spaceship."

Alex can't believe what he just heard. "Uhm, okay. You don't look like someone who's well over 70 years old, though. Does your species age at a slower rate? I this a Superman thing? Are you from Krypton? How old are you really?"

Michael laughs. "You're taking this surprisingly well. Uhm, so, depending on how you look at it, I'm either 30 years old, or I'm about 80. I don't think we're aging slower than humans, though. We were actually in stasis in our pods for half a century, and only hatched in 1997."

"You did what now?"

"Oh, sorry, uhm, our stasis pods look like glowing eggs, and we always joked that we hatched. I don't think that's how our people actually procreate, though," Michael explains.

Alex is trying his best to take it all in, but it's a lot. He takes a deep breath. "So, by 'us', you're referring to yourself, Isobel, and your other brother, Max, right? Don't you have parents? What happened to them?"

Michael's face falls, and Alex feels awful for being responsible for it. "We don't know, actually. We don't even know whether we're actual siblings. We were found together after we hatched, mute, wandering the desert. Max and Iz got lucky, they were adopted by a local family. I wasn't quite so lucky. I grew up in the system. But I've always been a bright student, so I was able to get a good education. I had to postpone my plans to go to college after high school because of Isobel for a few years, that's why I only graduated recently. But I have a good job lined up, I'll start next month. So, I'm not a complete failure."

Alex wraps an arm around Michael's shoulder and pulls him into a hug. "You could never be a failure. I don't know much about you, but you're not a failure. You hear me?" He feels Michael nod against his chest.

"Good. Now that the big secret is revealed. What did Isobel mean when she talked about a handprint earlier?"

Michael pulls back and looks at Alex. "You heard that? Well, as I demonstrated earlier, my power is telekinesis. Isobel can influence people with her brain, and Max can heal. What the three of us have in common, is that we can share memories with someone else by putting our hands on them. Skin on skin. It opens some kind of mental connection, don't ask me how it works exactly, but it leaves an iridescent glowing handprint on the other person's skin. It fades after a few days, and the connection shared during the handprint also breaks."

Alex squeezes Michael's hand. "So, you can share memories and emotions, but you won't mind-whammy me?"

"God, no, I won't. I swear. I wouldn't even know how to," Michael says.

Alex turns to Michael and they look at each other. "Okay. I'll sit down on the bed against the headboard. I don't have any medical exams scheduled in the next couple of days. Does the handprint have to be placed somewhere specific?"

Michael looks at Alex with wonder in his eyes. "How are you so fucking calm and cool about this? My entire life – well, since we hatched – I've been worried sick about revealing this secret to anyone and sicking military special forces on us. You are the first person I've ever told, and you're taking it like I told you I have a mole on my left butt cheek."

Alex raises an eyebrow. "You have a mole on your left butt cheek?"

Michael giggles. "Oh my god, I know it's probably too soon to say it not even two hours after we've met, but I love you. You're ridiculous, and hilarious, and brilliant. And I love you." He wipes at his eyes. "And no, I don't have a mole on my left butt cheek. Wanna find out where I have one?" He waggles his eyebrows at Alex.

"You casually mention that you love me, and I'm supposed to play 'search the mole' with you? You are unbelievable. For the record, I love you, too. And I don't care that we only met two hours ago. You're about to put a spooky handprint on me that will tell me everything I need to know."

Alex lets go of Michael's hand and scrambles back on the bed until he sits comfortably, propped up by at least three cushions. He looks down at himself and pulls his shirt over his head and flings it in the general direction of the hamper. He winks at Michael. "Come here, alien boy, tell me your story."

Michael laughs and crawls across the bed until he's next to Alex. He likes what he sees. A smattering of dark chest hair, strong arms, a sculpted torso. Alex is gorgeous, head to toe.

"Is it okay when I put my hand on your chest? Low enough that the handprint won't be visible even if you open the top two buttons?"

Alex nods. "That sounds reasonable. Go ahead."

Michael places his right hand on Alex's chest. Michael takes a deep breath, and suddenly his hand starts glowing red. The palm of his hand is heating up against Alex's skin, but the heat doesn't hurt. They look at each other, and suddenly it's like a gate to another dimension opens.

Alex looks at everything Michael sends his way, he laughs, he sheds tears, he looks in horror at what some of the foster parents did to Michael. He sees Isobel, and another man, Max, most likely, he sees an old man with an eyepatch at a place that looks like a junkyard.

It's not just images Michael shares, though. There are also emotions. Alex can barely handle the loneliness radiating through the connection, the fear of someone finding out, Michael worrying about Isobel, and a million other things.

When they later look at the alarm clock on Alex's night stand, they realize the whole thing didn't take longer than maybe ten minutes, and yet Alex feels like he knows everything about Michael. Not every detail or secret, but he knows Michael now.

It's overwhelming, and terrifyingly wonderful. Alex doesn't know how else to describe it. They lie down next to each other, knees knocking, hands exploring, their mouths almost touching.

"Wow," Alex breathes out.

Michael kisses him. "Yeah," he whispers.

Alex does what he's been dying to do since he met Michael. He runs his fingers through Michael's hair and enjoys how soft the curls feel. Like the finest silk.

"You are incredible, Michael. Thank you for sharing this with me. I'll have a million questions for you in the coming days, and I'm sure you'll also want know more about me, but I need to not talk for a while. Can we do that?"

Michael nods. Alex barely blinks an eye, when they both float up, comforter and duvet getting pulled out from under them, and soon they sink back down into the soft mattress again. "This ability of yours sure comes in handy," Alex praises.

Michael pulls the duvet over them, and Alex is grateful for the heat inside of their little cocoon. "It does. You have no idea what it means to me to being able to use it in front of you."

Alex notices the emotion in Michael's voice and sees tears glistening in his eyes. He wraps his arms around Michael as good as he can and pulls him close. Michael hugs back, and then they just hold each other for a long time. Breathing each other in and trading lazy kisses.

Once their bodies and minds relax, their kisses get heated. They are both hard, their cocks brushing against each other through the thin fabric of their underwear. Alex wriggles his hand between them to wrap it around the tips of their cocks peeking out. There's no time (or room) for finesse. Heat and friction are doing the job for them. Their kisses get more and more wet and sloppy, they pant into each other's mouths, and just moments before Alex is ready to come, Michael looks at him, his pupils blown wide. He presses his hand on the glowing mark in the middle of Alex's chest.

"I love you," he says. A short break, then he adds, "Darlin'."

Alex lets out a guttural sound, something between a scream and a moan, and he comes in hot and almost painful pulses between them. Michael follows only moments later, adding to the mess. But they don't care.

The connection between them is blown wide open, and Michael gasps, when he's receiving memories and emotions from Alex suddenly. An abusive home, his mom leaving, loneliness, gruesome years in the military, the immeasurable pain of losing a limb, Michael feels like he's about to pass out from it, but he holds steady.

Alex took in everything he shared with him earlier, now he wants to take in everything Alex is sharing. It's a lot, though, and when the flood of impressions subsides to a mere trickle, he realizes he's panting and sweating like he just ran a marathon.

Their foreheads are touching, and they cling to each other like they're afraid to let go of the other.

Later, they won't recall exactly for how long they stay like that. At some point, Alex musters enough energy to tell Michael where he keeps a bottle of nail polish remover in his bathroom.

"How do you—,?" Michael starts, and Alex just places his hand on Michael's chest. Michael blinks. "Wow, I think this experience has fried some of my brain cells, of course you know."

Michael closes his eyes and concentrates, but he's not strong enough to make the bottle come to him with his telekinesis. Reluctantly, he lets go of Alex, who grumbles and makes grabby hands at Michael.

"Just a second, sweetheart, I'll be back in no time. Don't go anywhere."

"Har, har," Alex makes. He's slowly feeling like he's fully conscious again. He's about to call for Michael's attention, when the man in question returns from his quest in the bathroom. He's sipping from a plastic bottle he's holding with one hand, and there's a wet towel in his other hand. Bless him.

He hands the towel to Alex (who notices that Michael soaked it in warm water, bless him more!), and he quickly wipes himself down. When he's finished, Michael takes the towel and returns to the bathroom.

When he comes back, he smiles at Alex. "Pajamas, or shirts and sweatpants?" he asks, pointing at the walk-in closet.

"Door on the far left, there's both, pajamas and other comfy clothes. I'll take what you take." He only feels silly for saying something so sappy for a second, because Michael beams like the sun. "Partner look, I like it."

Michael vanishes for half a minute and returns with two pairs of blue sweat pants and plain white shirts. He dresses himself first, while Alex puts on the shirt, then Michael's there to help him put on the sweats. Without being prompted, Michael asks "Your crutches, where are they?"

Alex smiles at him softly. "In the living room, leaning against the wall next to the dining table."

Michael goes to fetch the crutches and leans them against the wall next to Alex's side of the bed when he returns. "Anything else I can get you before we sleep?"

Alex shakes his head. "Nothing I can think of right now. Come to bed, Michael."

Michael smiles, his grin almost devilish. "It'll be my pleasure, darlin'."

Alex is tempted to throw a pillow at Michael. "You're not playing fair, Michael. I'm exhausted, and you know what you saying it does to me. I don't think all the darlin's in the world will be able to make me hard again right now, though."

Michael crawls into bed and under the covers. He pulls Alex close and kisses the tip of his nose. "Don't be sad, sweetheart, there's more than enough time for that in the morning. Unless you have to be somewhere tomorrow?"

Alex shakes his head. "No, there's nothing on my schedule tomorrow. Plenty of time for us to get to know each other with more words. Don't get me wrong, what happened tonight has been the most incredible experience of my life, and I'm grateful that we already know so many things about each other, especially the bad things that are much harder to talk about. But I still want to talk to you."

Michael nods. "We'll do that. Tomorrow. But now, let's sleep. The acetone helped, but I still feel a bit like I was hit by a truck. Big spoon or little spoon?"

Alex thinks about it for a moment. "If you don't mind, little spoon. You're just so warm, and I'm freezing. I'm always up for big spoon duty, though. I want to hold you, too, you know."

Michael's smile is the sweetest, and Alex's heart almost bursts with how much he loves him. "I know," Michael says. "And now, turn around and get comfy."

Alex does, and as soon as Michael's inhuman warmth engulfs him, his eyes start to droop. A moment later the room goes dark, and Alex feels Michael's lips peppering the his neck with little kisses. He pulls Michael's arm closer around himself.

"I love you," he whispers into the dark.

"And I love you. So much, Alex. So, so much. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Michael."

And then, they sleep.

#malex #alex manes #michael guerin #rnm fic #malex fic #my fic #michael vlamis

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blue-maiden4 · 5 years

Text

Together Forever and Growing Pains

I'M IN LEGIT PAIN RIGHT NOW.

MY POOR BOY 😭😭

Anyways I'm gonna leave my thoughts on these episodes down here so spoilers right ahead:

-First of all: Ruby, Sapphire I know you tried to help, but dear Arceus proposing at the age of 16 IS NOT A GOOD IDEA AT ALL.

-Can we appreciate how handsome Steven looks on that shirt and suit? Damn he looks good on it 👀 (If he weren’t a minor I would marry him, but my heart already belongs to Leon so nevermind, pretend I said nothing)

-Rather than saying a straight 'no', Connie said 'not now', AND HONESTLY THAT'S SO SWEET AND IM DYING. And Steven's heartbroken face DESTROYED ME. I've never experienced such feeling but I can imagine how much it hurts. I really appreciate how Connie handled the situation in such a mature way, like she wanted to talk out things first and such. She is without a doubt Steven's soul mate ❤️.

-Watching Steven just laying on the sand while crying broke my heart in a million pieces, I felt your pain Steven, and it sucks that you have to go through this when you’re dealing with some heavy issues right now.💔

-"There isn't a future where you didn't proposed" I'm double dead now, the fact that no matter which time line they're on, Steven would propose to Connie. My heart 😭.

-Also I've seen some people asking why Steven is so worried of Connie leaving, like, he can just go visit her with Lion's help, but remember he can do the same with Lars and he acted the same way, so despite being able to visit them, the whole feeling that he's getting left behind is what is triggering these kind of reaction (or at least that's what I think).

-And remember, no matter how much you love a person, do not propose to them at the age of 16 (sorry I had to this xd)

Okay now moving onto Growing Pains aka the episode that destroyed me physically and emotionally:

-BOI Where do I even start with this one? Okay first, seeing Steven all depressed over Connie's rejection and just eating ice cream and all kinds of sweets as a coping mechanism hits home. And this is something people do in real life when they are going through a heartbreak. Poor boy he needs a hug.

-I would be lying if I said I didn’t scremaed the moment his body started growing our of nowhere, HOLY SHIT THE CORRUPTION THEORY IS SLOWLY BECOMING A REALITY. LIKE THAT SHIT STARTED AS SOME SORT OF JOKE, IT AIN’T FUNNY ANYMORE 😰.

-Connie being concerned about Steven and convicing him to see a doctor is the best thing ever. FINALLY SOMEONE THAT MAKES HIM SEEK HELP (Sort of)

-Okay, the fact Steven’s bones are fractured or broken is really worrying. Like, the only reason this kid isn’t dead is because of his healing powers is really messed up, and if we remember what happened in CYM, it makes sense why he was so weak and nearly dying, it was ‘cause his body was so damaged on the inside and the only things keeping together was his own gem half.

Seriously just look at all those cracks in his bones

-Also, the way Dr. Maheswaran explained how his body was constantly healing, yet it looked that mentally he hasn’t healed, that hit me like a truck. It also reminded of Pink Pearl, her gem showed no signs of damage, yet that crack on her eye was mostly due to the trauma she still had.

-The fact Steven is having the same side effect is just so....AGH I can’t even describe it, there’s no words that can say it.Seriously, he’s been through some heavy stuff since he was 13, with being so close to dying a million times, seeing loved ones die in front of him, his self doubt and existencial crisis due to Pink’s/Rose’s mistakes. That’s some serious and heavy shit, that surely was to have some effect on Steven at some point.

He’s been trying so hard to just forget about it and move on, but it’s not that simple. Those experiences are somthing that will haunt him forever until he adresses them properly. Also, the fact he tended to bottle up his emotions as a kid had also a role in all of this, he had to deal with this stuff on his own, he couldn’t talk to anyone about it, ‘cause he didn’t knew what else to do without becoming a burden.

-”What you haven’t told her?!”

DUDE, YOU SERIOUSLY EXPECTED CONNIE TO TELL HER MOM HOW YOU FRICKING PROPOSED TO HER? COME ONE, SHE IS OBVIOUSLY NOT GONNA TELL HER, SHE WOULD HAVE FREAK OUT AT THE IDEA OF 16/15 YEAR OLDS GETTING MARRIED FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE.

-Bruh, the moment he was starting to tear up, due to all the stress and pressure he was feeling at that moment. And the way he snapped out at Connie....oof, like I don’t blame him at all, but it broke my heart. The pain he was feeling at the moment...god...😭😭😭.

-Greg getting in there and comforting him, that’s what made me cry, the whole thing that Steven’s feeling like he’s always about to die, and how he’s supposed to be happy now that everyone is saved but just can’t....it hurted....a lot.

-And my respect and love for Connie and her mom increased here, not only she called the only person that could calm him down/help him, but they also treated Steven in way as to not alter him more and without judging. Seriously, I’m surprised Dr. Maheswaran, wasn’t like WTF the moment Steven started listing all of his traumatic experiences, instead she only explained how all of this gem stuff he’s been involved with has caused him so serious trauma.

-Now let me just say, that even though it is mostly th CG and Greg (to some degree, like the dude tried his best), we have to remember that the Gems have no idea about how a human body works, let alone how a mind of a person works. And it’s true that it wasn’t a good idea for Steven to move in with the Gems at such a young age, heck Greg is his father, he is supposed to take care of Steven and such, but considering the circumstances and that Steven is half-gem, he probably thought it was for the best, as he couldn’t teach him about gem stuff, probably the CG convinced him about this. Now, with the whole ‘they should have noticed or figured out something was wrong with Steven’, let me tell you one thing: that’s not how it works. Sure a parent should be able to tell when there’s something wrong their kid, but considering Steven became so dang good at avoiding the subject and bottling up his emotions (keeping them to himself), it practically impossible to tell when something is wrong. Parents aren’t physics, they can’t read our minds, so unless we are the ones that address the issue, there’s no other way they can’t find out about our problems. And that’s what happens in Steven’s case, and since they didn’t wanted to push him to talk about it, well, that makes it harder.

CONCLUSION:

THIS TWO EPS DESTROYED ME, SERIOUSLY THEY LEFT ME IN LITERAL PAIN.

I was expecting them to make me cry, but dear lord, they were such heavy episodes, they even suprassed Prickly Pair, which is an episode that also messed up with my emotions. But these two made me cry. They just hit so close to me.

I’m not sure I’m gonna survive til the finale (really one of the next week eps is called Fragments, and that doesn’t give me any good vibes)

NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME, I WILL GO CRY IN A CORNER WHILE CURLED UP IN A BALL AS I LISTEN TO DEPRESSING MUSIC CAUSE I DON’T KNOW OF ANOTHER WAY TO COPE WITH THE PAIN.

#steven universe future #steven universe future spoilers #suf #well that sucks #steven universe #steven #I can't stop crying #MY POOR BOI #feelings #rambling over this boy #GODDAMNIT PINK LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO THIS CHILD #YOU RUINED A PERFECTLY SWEET BOY

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deidaratheartboi · 3 years

Conversation

A Day In Life With The Akatsuki Pt 4

As I am writing this story I am going to be writing others as well because I have a feeling this is gonna be long. Anywho enjoy!

-Cue Intro Music-

Kevin walks out onto the stage like he owns the place.

Kevin: Welcome back to the show ladies and gentleman! Last time on "A Day In Life With The Akatsuki" should really shorten that name author. (Screw you Kevin)

Kevin: Anyways we got all the vote in and the people who were nominated were Itachi, Deidara, Hidan, Kakuzu, and Pain. Now you may be asking nominated for what? Well it's just to see who's a fan favorite. Whoever has the most votes by the end of the show will receive an award.

Kevin: Now let's get back to the real show.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Hidan and Kakuzu were chilling on the couch watching tv. Well more like arguing over it.

Kakuzu: Maybe if Audrey didn't do Kenya dirty like that she wouldn't have the damn problem. She should have paid the hitman to take Mane out then she wouldn't have to worry about anyone.

Hidan: Yeah but even if she did pay him what about Chelsey?

She would have taken notice one of her people were gone.

Kakuzu: Guess your right

A/N: I'm not sure how tv stuff works so I'm gonna make this as realistic as possible and not make it realistic.

Interviewer Person: You guys are really into the show huh?

Hidan: Shut up Chelsey is about to find out what Audrey did to Kenya.

Interviewer Person: But, I-

Kakuzu: Shut up

After the show

Hidan: I TOLD YOU MANE WOULD FIND OUT!

Kakuzu: Fuck you Mane fuck you

Hidan: Pay up

Kakuzu pays him $300.

Interviewer Person: Are you two done?

Hidan: Oi can't you see we're talking? Rude ass.

Kakuzu: These tv people get on my damn nerves

Hidan: You said it no manners

Kakuzu: Let's watch another one

Hidan: I got the snacks

Interviewer Person: Before you two go can I ask a few questions?

Hidan: Can I ask you some?

Interviewer Person: That's not really how-

Hidan: Why are you watching us you creep? Why are you still here? Do you have nothing better to do? Please go bother someone else.

Interviewer Person: Man I need a new job

-----------------------------------------------------------

Kevin whistles.

Kevin: Seems like Hidan and Kakuzu are giving Steve a hard time. (Yes he has a name now and I am naming the audience.)

Rianna: Hidan is lowkey a savage

Greg: A savage? He only told him off big difference.

Sofia: When will they show Painnnnnnnn?

Jorge: Calm down Sofia yeesh. Wait till Kevin announces it.

Kevin: Next up to observe we have the artists Deidara and Sasori!

Greg: I like Sasori he's dead inside like me

Jorge: Edge lord alert

Rianna: I bet he's sweet on the inside

Sofia: We'll see

-------------------------------------------------------------

Dei-Dei and Sasori were having a heated discussion about art.

Dei: ART IS TRANSIENT!

Sasori: ART IS ETERNAL!

Dei: Art is about as eternal as life is

Sasori: That was dark

Dei: Humans dying everyday just proves my point everything is temporary.

Sasori: Yet buildings have stood for decades even when time was moving fastly.

Dei: But, eventually it all wears away before it crumbles to dust.

Sasori: Then why is nature still here? It has lasted for many many centuries.

Dei: But, humans are destroying it everyday tearing down the once beautiful Utopia it once was.

Sasori: But, what about the sun?

Dei: Everything has to die eventually but, for now let's enjoy it. (Hope this didn't trigger anyone)

Sasori: Agreed

Steve: Wow you both have very valid views on art?

Dei: Are you an artist?

Steve: No-

Sasori: Then don't talk to us

Steve: I-

Dei: Whatever views we have we are still friends.

Sasori: Yes the best

Steve: That's sweet-

Sasori: Get the hell out of my room

Steve: All of you are very rude.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Kevin: Whooooooo Deidara and Sasori were having a very nice discussion? What say you audience? Forever or transient? (Feel free to comment which you guys think as well)

Greg: Forever

Rianna: Trasient

Sofia: Forever

Jorge: Art isn't where the money's at so no

Sofia: Damn ok

Greg: Kakuzu much?

Kevin: Next up is the dynamic duo of Itachi and Kisame! I wonder what they have in store for us.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Itachi and Kisame were enjoying the silence while drinking tea and eating donuts. The crew arrives in the room.

Itachi: I think the fuck not

Kisame: Can you people leave us alone?

Steve: Nope not until we get paid and leave this shithole.

Kisame: Damn ok

Itachi: Why are you here?

Steve: To observe you in your natural habitats

Kisame: You make is sound like we are animals

Steve: You are

Kisame: ....

Itachi: Leave Kisame alone whatever your damn name is

Steve: It's Steve

Itachi: Then leave us alone Stephen

Steve: No it's Steven

Itachi: Scott

Steve: No

Itachi: Samuel? Simon? Spencer? Sonny? Sheldon?

Kisame: Lmao

Steve: MY NAME IS STEVE GODDAMN STEVEN NOT STEPHAN, SIMON, OR SAMUEL! I KNOW YOUR DOING IT ON PURPOSE. I have a wife and three kids I need to take care of and you people are treating me like shit! I quit!

Steve storms off.

Itachi: Hope his kids don't turn out like him

Kisame: He looked stressed and unstable to begin with.

Back at the live tv studio.

Kevin: Due to Steve unexpectedly quitting we are sending a new interview their way.

Back at the hideout

Leon: Hello I am your new interviewer. How are you boys?

Kisame: I am fine

Itachi: ....

Leon: Good so what are you two doing?

Itachi: What does it look like?

Leon: Your quite sassy aren't you? I like it.

Kisame: Um chile anyways so what are you going to do?

Leon: Ask questions. First one Itachi are you single?

Itachi: Why do you need to know?

Leon: For personal I mean tv records

Itachi: Yes I am if you must know

Leon: Mhm next one how's a good looking guy like you still single?

Itachi: I have goals to reach I can't have someone distracting me from them. (Me in a nutshell)

Leon: Oh ok next one what is your sexuality?

Kisame: Ok no more questions

Leon: We can skip it

Kisame: No leave also how come you don't have any questions for me?

Leon: Your not interesting to me or anyone else

Kisame: Itachi finds me interesting

Leon: Dear he's only trying to be nice

Kisame: Not true you don't know him

Leon: We'll see anyways Itachi do you want to answer or not?

Itachi: I haven't decided yet

Leon: Mhm now for Kisame first one is do you like Itachi in a romantic way?

Kisame: What? No I like him as a fellow Akatsuki member and friend I can trust.

Leon: Really cuz you seemed kinda jelly when I was asking him questions.

Kisame: Those were personal questions that were none of your concern. We're done here

Kisame drags Itachi off.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Kevin: Finally a little spice to this dull show

Rianna: I don't like the Leon guy

Jorge: Yeah it's like he's getting into their mind

Greg: Welcome to reality television folks.

Sofia: He is only doing his job

Jorge: I know but, still.

Kevin: Next up Konan and Pain are up next! The total not couple.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Konan and Pain were reading and chilling.

Leon knocks on their door.

Pain opens it.

Leon: Ello there handsome I am your new interviewer name's Leon.

Pain: Oh come in

Leon walks in and sits down.

Leon: Nice place you have here

Pain: Thanks

Konan: So what questions do you wish to ask us?

Leon: Well the question that everyone is dying to have an answer for is and are you two a couple?

Konan: No we are not

Leon: Mhm. Next question what kind of snacks do you like? I like orange snacks like oranges, Cheetohs, and ramen noodles.

Konan glares at him.

Konan: Well I've been having those kind of snacks for longer then you. (I'm dying over here help me)

Leon: Is that so?

Konan: Mhm you wouldn't know anything about that.

Leon: Or would I?

Pain: Ummmmmmmmm I like fruit

Leon: Next question why did you decide to come onto this show? For love? Drama? Me?

Pain nervously laughs.

Pain: I just thought it would be a nice experience

Leon: I know something else that would be a nice experience ;)

Konan: Leave

Leon: As you wish

--------------------------------------------------------------

Kevin: Damn Leon just damn

Rianna: Leon you hoe

Jorge: Can't blame him those guys are hot

Sofia: I thought you were straight

Jorge: Not anymore

Greg: Oh god

Kevin: That's all folks join us next time when we come back. Next week we will switch it up quite literally!

Greg: Is he gonna do what I think he's gonna do?

Jorge: It's gonna be mad chaos

Sofia: I smell potential tea

Rianna: Oh no

--------------------------------------------------------------

Just realized I did not put Tobi or Zetsu will next time

#akatsuki texts #akatsuki-scenarios #hidan #kakuzu #sasori #deidara #pain #konan #itachi #kisame

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xxgothchatonxx · 3 years

Note

Hades for me is ranked at "Why didn't they use Hera" in terms of Disney villans. I liked watching him, but I wanted more Hades-like motivations. Visually he is great and the fact that they had good enough effects for that but put no effort in the make up just... I think they cast him pretty right since I mostly know that actor as playing an entitled asshole and that sounds like a good spin for the character but I have a feeling that's not what happened. . .

It's funny the more they delved into Disney adaptations the worse OUAT was. Like I needed that Mad Hatter inspo from them where they delved into side characters who could have any background because there's nothing anyone is familiar with other than their existence and they just kept retelling things people love badly.

Like, it was kind of genius to use Snow White as their baseline of the show because if you watched the 1937 film, there is literally no real characterization just plot. The only character with any oomph was the mirror. So using that as a base for a show gives you a lot of creative freedom to create a whole world around. I think they forgot that after, and kind of during, the Neverland arc. I'm glad I stopped watching, but I think what I'm more thankful for is how clear the drop in quality was for me to cut my losses at a time when just casually viewed every show I watched.

Descendants!Hades was kind of strange because while Cheyenne Jackson did such a great job, the writing was... not bad, but Hades wasn’t the main villain. So it did deviate from Disney canon. But he did get a good “reconcile with your estranged kid, you deadbeat” story and a very good slam against the heroes hypocrisy about villainy and punishment. I don’t think either of those stories would have worked if they had made him a villain in the traditional Disney!Hades sense. Also I think the only reason why the design worked is that they went theatrical. The flaming blue hair can only work if the rest of his look is as outlandish. It does not work when he’s just wearing a boring black-and-purple suit and nothing’s happening with his face.

Oh you were so right with “the more they delved into Disney adaptations the worse OUAT was”! Even though I love the Disney characters, I loved that Once was kind of the opposite of Disney, while also giving a few nods to Disney lore (Snow White humming “with a smile and a song” and then trying to squash a bird with her broom is still one of the funniest moments of the entire series). But it just became too much. When it became Once Upon a Frozen, it just wasn’t the same. I think that’s why I loved Tiana so much, because while you did have Dr. Facilier looking like Disney’s Dr. Facilier so there’s that obvious Disney reference, it was a different take on the story. And it’s why I unfortunately had a bit of trouble with Jafar in season 6 (even though our baby Oded was a nice well-needed splash of sexy camp) because he was acting more like Disney!Jafar as opposed to... well, the actually intimidating Jafar from the spinoff. And we were supposed to believe they were the same character (pretty sure this was done after backlash from very confused spinoff fans - personally I see Naveen’s Jafar and Oded’s Jafar as two different characters)

But Once!Hades... god, he really could have benefited from more of the Disney influence. There was nothing resembling the Disney version aside from the hair (which just looked worse and worse as the season progressed) and that was a real shame. Let’s go back to the 1997 Hercules film. What made that character work was entirely James Woods (i know he’s a prick but he did a great job with Hades) because he saw that Hades was just going to be another boring “I want to take over the world!” villain and decided “right, I’m going to play him like a sleazy cars-salesman.” Basically, James gave him a personality. That’s why he’s so well-loved. There wasn’t a villain like Hades before, at least not by Disney.

That personality was not there in the Once version. Greg Germann made Hades like every boring “world domination” villain, complete with an irritating Christian Bale Batman voice. Which is so bad because he would have been perfect playing that kind of sassy and sarcastic villain role! Instead he got told to do THAT?! And no one thought “this is stupid”?! Also the writing was truly atrocious. This was Hades! For a show that loves to go “hey, morality can be grey - sometimes the heroes are actually villains and the villains are actually not that bad” how could they not do that with Zeus and Hades?! But no. Instead we got a really REALLY forced love story between him and Zelena (oh yeah, that’s the only reason why he was there - to force a completely undeserved redemption arc for the most repulsive female character who should never have been brought back no offense to Bex Mader, she’s lovely) and a really weak Zeus v. Hades backstory that went absolutely nowhere. So stupid design + weird acting + atrocious writing = a pretty disappointing Hades.

The last great Once villain was Peter Pan (except Cruella but she was more of a fun distraction than an actual villain) - there, I said it.

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roswelldetails · 4 years

Text

RNM 2x13 - Mr. Jones

EPISODE SUMMARY:

SEASON FINALE — Having realized that a deadly threat has infiltrated CrashCon, the busiest event of the year, Liz (Jeanine Mason) realizes that she can’t save everyone she loves — and with Max (Nathan Dean) facing immediate danger, she and Isobel must make a heart-wrenching choice. Meanwhile, Michael (Michael Vlamis) finds himself caught up in the conflict between Jesse (Trevor St. John) and Alex (Tyler Blackburn) once again, even as Maria’s (Heather Hemmens) life hangs in the balance elsewhere, and Kyle (Michael Trevino) faces a moral dilemma when the enemy requires medical attention. Jeffrey Hunt directed the episode written by Christopher Hollier & Carina Adly MacKenzie (#213). Original airdate 6/15/2020.

DETAILS:

The episode opens with Isobel trying to hold back the fire. They don't actually show Rosa convincing Liz to go stop the explosion. But she runs up to Isobel and explains her science:

"I have to activate the ingredients first, but once I introduce my solution to the system it should kill the cellular matrix."

Liz literally squirts the console with her "solution".

Rosa is doing CPR on Max and praying. Max wakes up just as Kyle runs up. Immediately Max directs Kyle to Flint instead of himself. It's interesting. When Max previously killed with his hand, in 1x06, he instantly knew that he killed the drifter. This time he wasn't sure (and he didn't. We eventually learn). Rosa and Kyle take Flint to the hospital.

Meanwhile Helena is saving Charlie's life.

"Jesse Manes was the only one supposed to get hurt."

Which is...not what happened. Jesse, Flint, Max, Maria...even Liz got hurt. She burned her hand on the console.

Maria is being rolled into the hospital. She got there really really fast. Cam is by her side.

Liz is still squirting her solution onto the console. It turns red. Liz asks Isobel to get people away but Isobel refuses to leave Liz alone.

Jesse, Greg, Michael, and Alex are still mid-standoff.

"Gregory, listen. You and I have had our differences in the past, but you should stand with me now."

"You're not well, Dad."

Jesse hits Gregory with the atomizer and appears to knock him out. He tries to shoot Michael, but Alex tackles him.

"Guerin, get the atomizer! Get it away from my brother!"

"Alex, I can't."

Jesse gets the upper hand in the fistfight with Alex and steals Alex's gun. Turns to shoot Michael again.

Liz makes more solution and squirts more of it on the console. This time it starts to crack. Isobel pulls Liz to safety and the console shrivels and dies.

The dying console just doesn't work as well in still form, so @maxortecho giffed it for me! Thank you!! 😘

Max runs up to them.

"You disabled it. You saved everyone."

"Is Flint dead? Did you kill him?"

He looks at Liz with some heavy heart eyes for her being the hero. She looks at him with fear.

Back to the Maneses and Michael. Jesse has a gun on Michael. Michael has the atomizer.

"Drop it, Guerin. Drop it!"

There's a gunshot. Jesse Manes falls and Michael has blood on his face. Gregory shot Jesse from behind.

"I should have defended you from him a long time ago."

"There are no more Manes men left."

Jesse dies.

Indeterminant time jump. Liz is late for work.

"Sorry, Javi. I just...I haven't really been sleeping."

"You've said that every day since CrashCon. You still having nightmares? …Did you read the papers this morning."

"Oh, I've kind of been trying to avoid the papers."

"Did you hear about that veteran who died at the carnival? They're going to have a parade, build a statue. Did you know he was disabled?"

Customers at the counter are discussing CrashCon:

"The CrashCon discourse is saying aliens invaded and killed the guy."

"That should be good for tourism."

"Newspaper said it was smoke inhalation though."

"He was making sure all the kids got out safely and the smoke overwhelmed him."

"We need more people like him."

Soooo much to unpack here. And most of it is addressed by Helena and Rosa's exchange at the end of the episode. But the big question to me is… who is spreading the rumors and covering this up? Is it Flint? Is he even well enough to take the lead on that? Is it someone else with Project Shepherd that we haven't met? The mayor? I mean, Jesse was shot! There was a lot of blood! Plus, remember what happened in 1x11 and 1x12: it's a small town. People notice gunshots.

Liz goes to take a table's order and, surprise! It's Diego. Who had gone back to Denver after CrashCon. He brought Dr. Margot Meyerson to Roswell to meet Liz.

Michael is visiting Maria at the hospital:

"What are you doing?"

"Oh they cut your bracelet off during surgery. How are you? You look better."

"Liz has been dropping by every day to inject me with witch serum."

"Ooh the synthetic nucleotide excision repair genomogenate? We're lucky you're only part alien, otherwise there wouldn't have been enough left of you for her to save."

"Listen, do you think you could use your telekinesis to open this box? Mimi left it when she visited. It's a family heirloom, but she forgot the key."

"Mimi hasn't exactly been leading you in the right direction lately. Her psychic visions led you toward a bomb instead of away from it. Seeing you like that -- all sick and pale and quiet -- I started praying."

Max and Isobel are at Max's house. Isobel is studying the photos of the console and alien symbols.

"I wish I understood why Louise and Nora would spend a year building an alien weapon of mass destruction."

"I don't think it was a bomb. I think it's a communication device. It's like a remote, you know, it just happens to be combustible."

"Are you mad at me, Max? Did I do something wrong? Is it that we're not related, or are you upset about the abortion? Because I…"

"Whoa, hey, God no."

"Because you're not talking to me."

"You're not the only one. I didn't want everyone to worry, you know, 'cause I've been taking some of Liz's antidote. And things are coming back to me. Little flashes, sort of, mostly. Like vague memories."

"Michael said that you kind of zoned out when you touched that alien bomb...remote thing. Did it trigger a memory?"

"When I touched the console, I heard whispers that I could almost understand. All right, it's like the same with those symbols. I mean it's like their meaning is just beyond reach. Except for one word. I took this from Graham Green's display at CrashCon. See that? It's an aerial photo of some crop circles from Roswell in 1948. This farm belonged to a guy called Jones. Pretty sure it says savior... This is my name. Maybe that means you and Michael's parents weren't the only ones that survived the crash. Right, maybe I had a family too. You know, maybe my mom was just across town."

"Max. I really wish that you could just focus on the present. You know, I mean, as a recently deceased man, I really feel like you should be enjoying the simple pleasures in life, you know, like reading nerdy books, the smell of leather, and that feeling when you wake up before your alarm and the person you love is still asleep and they're kind of snoring a little bit. It's like the best thing that ever happened to you. Stuff like that."

"I want all those things too. But I feel like if I only know half of myself, I'm only half living. And I know you understand that, Iz, because I've watched you this year become your entire self. And it is so beautiful. Okay, I am not at all mad at you. Are you kidding me? I am so proud of you. I am so proud that you're my sister."

Michael and Alex in the shed. For all that the shed is such a key location in this show's canon this is the first time we've seen it since 1x06.

"Maria made me bring food over. I gave it to Gregory. Seems to be holding up okay."

"Everything my family touches turns to crap. My dad used to talk about how my Grandpa Harlan built this she'd with his bare hands when he was, like, seventy. For a long time it was my safest space. And the one night my dad destroyed it."

"You're right. This place sucks."

Michael and Alex start destroying the shed. In the next scene Michael breaks a floorboard revealing a skeleton. The skeleton is wearing dog tags, so Alex grabs them. In his shirt pocket Michael spots and grabs the key to Maria's box. The tags say Eugene Manes III. So this is Tripp's body. Which confirms for Alex that his grandfather killed Tripp.

Max and Liz are walking in the plaza.

"I don't understand the violence, Max. Flint could have had brain damage given how long he wasn't breathing. You risked your life to hurt him and he had already thrown the weapon away, Max, so why? I can't get that image out of my head. You trying to kill Alex's brother."

"I know. I snapped. Last year Noah told me that we were energized by killing and not by healing. Even then I knew he was right. I… Obviously I can usually fight that, but I guess this time my better angels just didn't show up."

"We have to stop keeping secrets from each other, Max. There's a scientist in town. She's a supervisor at Genoryx. She has a job for me in California. She's offered to sponsor my dad's citizenship. And it could put me in a position to help Rosa too. I mean, I'd be able to do a lot of good with the grant money they're offering, and I know that all sounds too good to be true, but…"

"It sounds like someone finally realizes how valuable your mind is."

"I think that a change of scenery will be so good for us. I mean, we could get a place by the beach and you could write."

"You want me to come with you?"

"Of course I do."

"Well, I mean, I just told you I have this killer instinct, and you want me to come to California with you."

"We'll figure it out. Okay? We'll figure all of it out together. Run away with me, Max Evans?"

"Anywhere."

Max goes to see Cam at work. She picks on him for getting arrested and has his mugshot as her desktop background because friends!

Max asks about Charlie.

"Yeah she texted me from a burner phone that she was all right and then she vanished again."

Max tells her that he has a doctor's appointment and then asks her to do some undercover work for him.

Michael visiting Maria at the hospital.

"So Alex thinks Harlan found out that Tripp was an alien sympathizer all that time and he offed him."

"So Mimi must have known that you would find it. That's why she left the box. Look, I know you don't trust my mom's visions, but I was the only one who could grab that atomizer and run with it. If it had been you, you'd be dead."

Maria takes off the bracelet.

"What are you doing? Maria, that prevents brain damage."

"I'm only part alien, but it is a part of me. Even if it's dangerous I can't just turn off a piece of myself."

"So I'm supposed to sit around helpless as you fade away? Maria, I cannot watch you disappear. I love you."

"I love you too."

"So can we just let this go?"

"You have it wrong. Mimi hasn't disappeared. Yes she can be inconvenient, she can make people uncomfortable, but maybe she's supposed to be an uncomfortable inconvenience that saves lives. And now I need to be inconvenient, and I don't want to be someone that hurts you. I think that we should find out what's next, apart from each other."

"Wait, so you think that if we break up, I'm gonna be able to stop caring about you?"

"I learned so much, being with you. You sacrificed yourself without hesitation when Alex needed you."

"I would have done the same for you."

"I know. I don't doubt your capacity for love, 'cause you made me so happy this year. And I loved being someone that made you happy. I just think that we should leave it be, before I wonder if someone else could make you happier. Open the box, Guerin. Let's see what comes next.

Skip forward to the Crashdown where Michael has the box in a booth with Alex and Isobel. He opens the box and pulled out a journal, which they in turn read aloud.

I did a separate post on the journal's content and the Tripp and Nora flashbacks here:

Kyle visits Steph in the hospital

"What do you think will happen?"

"What do you mean?"

"When I die, idiot."

"You know, Socrates thought that death was a blessing, because only one of two things could happen. Either consciousness ceases, and it's like falling into a dreamless sleep. Or you go to where all who have died before you have gone. Your loved ones, people you admire. If you lived a good and just life, you will be surrounded by goodness and justice, in a place without fear. Sorry. I thought a lot about this when my dad passed, so I…"

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I'm putting you through this again."

"No...I want to be here."

Liz interrupts them. She clearly wasn't expecting Kyle to be there and comments on Max's appointment. Kyle gets up to leave.

Diego and Margot are talking in the Wild Pony:

"I was very impressed with her work when we first pursued her, but when I met her today, not so much."

"Why? 'Cause she had a little ketchup on her uniform?"

Undercover!Jenna staggers up to them and spills her drink on them, tells Margot that she's beautiful, and plants a listening device.

"Anyway I think we should move on."

"Okay, wait a sec. Liz has been working on something recently, but she signed this NDA. Although I guess she can't be blamed if we took a peek, you know? Without permission."

The line that will haunt me for the next year. Kyle to Max while showing him what appears to be chest X-rays.

"You know what I'm saying here, right Max?"

Cameron calls:

"You were right. It is too good to be true. Diego just told some woman he can get her access to Liz's lab. He must have followed her there."

"Well, there's a security system."

"The way he's talking, it sounded like Diego's pretty certain he can get access. They just left here, Evans. You need to tell Liz to get anything incriminating out of there - now."

Max arrives at the lab and immediately sees that the security system was manufactured by Genoryx. He uses his powers to break the system and get into the lab. He quickly searches through all of Liz's records and then pours what appears to be gas or lighter fluid or some other flammable substance all over the place and then uses his powers to set a fire.

He listens to the notes on Liz's recorder, which by the way has 22 minutes of recording on it. Some of what we hear:

This is my record of the dissection of specimen NB.

... immunoglobulin harvested from alien DNA can be transferred to a human recipient.

Commence dissection of the dorsal side of the spinal nerve.

I hypothesize that the female specimen's plasma…

Bracken's seminal cells indicate a pH level double that of a human counterpart.

I'm now extracting the grey matter to measure alien voxel signals.

Note that Max doesn't seem to have any chest pain this time when he uses his powers.

Right as Diego and Margot show up the lab explodes.

Max comes home to find Michael and Isobel waiting for him. He's clearly exhausted and upset after the lab.

"Can whatever this is wait until tomorrow?"

"Jones? That's the guy who grew the crop circles in the shape of my name."

"Nope. We spent the day reading Tripp Manes' journal. Caffeinate, Max... Okay, so, when I asked Sanders about this photo of Nora, he said he didn't know whose hand this was. He was all, Mr. Bernhardt, Mr. Jones, Old Man Gibbons. Could've been anybody."

"Ten points to Hufflepuff."

"So in October '48, Nora decided not to finish building the ship with Louise. She decided to go to the reservation with Tripp."

"But then little Walt convinced her to go to the fall festival, where after successfully avoiding him for a year, she finally ran into the alien stowaway who had crashed the ship. He'd been masquerading as a farmer."

"Mr. Jones."

"Tripp saw Jones approach Nora, and he recognized him from the night of the crash, but he didn't have a chance to ask Nora about it before Harlan called for a raid on the farm."

"Yeah. And after the massacre, Jones was never heard from again. Crop circles were all that was left."

"If you were in hiding, why would you grow corn in the shape of an alien symbol?"

"Maybe they just grew that way. It's the same way that this symbol just shows up everywhere, you know?"

Michael reveals his tattoo and it's the first time Max has seen it.

"Wait, when did..?"

"Oh, I got it when we weren't sure if you were coming back. It didn't feel like it was ever gonna be the same again."

"All right. There. Now can we all cowboy up and focus, please? Let's feel our feelings after we've solved the mystery of the unknown alien. After the raid on the farm, Nora was held by Project Shepherd."

Note...not actually accurate. Michael didn't get the tattoo until Max was out of surgery.

See Journal and Flashbacks post for the flashback.

Jenna and Charlie reunite. Relevant quote to remember:

Liz and Rosa find the destroyed lab. Liz sees the fractal burn that indicates that Max is the one that destroyed it.

"I fought so hard to become who I am, and I just trade her in every time I get scared? No. I don't want to be on the run anymore."

Back to Max's house:

"Whatever happened to that thing that she and Louise were building out in the desert? I mean, did she ever tell him where it was or what it was?"

"Nope. And when Tripp asked Louise about it, she was silent."

Liz walks in and interrupts.

"Why'd you do it, Max?"

They go into the bedroom to fight.

"I'd been asking you for weeks to clear out that lab, okay? I knew it wasn't safe."

"Alex installed a military-grade security system."

"A system designed by Genoryx, okay? Diego could have hacked it. He could already know everything."

"And his nefarious plan is to what? Set us up with a condo in L.A.? Give my family a second chance?"

"Okay, I have a family to protect too."

"Yes, and you could have stopped Diego without destroying a year of my work!"

"I had to act fast."

"So your first instinct was to go with the one method that would break my heart?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking about your heart when I'm staring at jars with Noah's liver and his brain. I mean, what else did you harvest from us, Liz?"

"Those are just cells. I wasn't hurting anyone. I don't know what you thought love was gonna be like when we were 17, but it isn't just sunsets and horseback rides."

"You can't put this all on me. Okay you were sneaking around behind my back…"

"I apologized. I stopped. Max, you died this year. I was all alone because of a choice that you made, but still every single thing I did was for you and about you and with you. So when you were back, when I could finally touch you. When I could finally breathe. I needed to take just one moment to remember where I end and where you begin. To just be whole in who I am. I am a scientist. I am fighting for something that is bigger than me. I am trying to leave this world a better place. And I am in love with you. And right now, I hate it."

Liz leaves and Max takes another dose of the antidote.

Time jump. No idea how long or what has happened in between. Liz and Rosa on the Crashdown roof saying goodbyes.

"Dad is checking your oil and making sure you have enough chile...also you left this in our room. Mom's been texting."

"Trying to come up with a better response than, go duck yourself… You should come with me. The Ortecho sisters take California."

"I wish. But I can't. I'm going back to rehab tonight. I want to see the program through. Sorry."

"Don't be. It's the best possible thing you could have said."

"You know… Max should be your road trip buddy. You love him. You're gonna forgive him. Besides, we both know if you try to leave town without him again, he's just gonna show up with some big, grand romantic gesture to stop you."

Open mic night at the Pony. Alex and Kyle have a drink together.

"So how does it feel to have your father's murder officially avenged?."

"Feels like my dad's still dead. Flint should be okay. He'll live to become the new Jesse Manes."

"No he won't. I'm not gonna let it happen."

"After everything you still believe in redemption?"

"Well, I have a pretty good example of it right in front of me."

Alex sings his song. Michael, Isobel, Greg, and Forrest are all there listening.

Flash to Kyle going to Steph's hospital room. The bed is empty...because she's up doing her makeup, her hands steady.

"Your hands are better. Did they give you morphine?"

"I woke up this morning feeling incredible. Look at my chart. My numbers are up. It's a miracle."

"Or just really good science."

Liz is preparing to leave, her suitcase beside her in the empty Crashdown as she stands at the juke box one last time. Kyle runs in.

"What you did was reckless. And dangerous. And unethical, Liz. Thank you."

Back at the Wild Pony, Michael watches Forrest listening to Alex sing. He turns to leave. Isobel tries to stop him.

"It's a sad story, me and Alex. I have to walk away so we can start a new one someday. It's not our time right now."

"But it will be."

"I think so."

Rosa walks up to a bar. She hesitates before going in, her hands shaking.

Liz buckles into her car, ready to leave. She looks in the rearview window and waits. She's clearly expecting Max to come. But he's at home studying his alien symbols. She gives in and pulls away, leaving Roswell. Her season ends with her looking out over the ocean.

Alex finishes his song and Greg and Forrest are still there and are proud of him.

"Well, damn. How do you feel?"

"Like I just sang a song about a guy in front of a bunch of cowboys, and...I don't care."

"Oh, lucky guy, with a song like that."

"Yeah it was a long time ago…can I?"

Alex and Forrest kiss.

Rosa walks into the bar. Helena is there.

"If you came to tell me what I did wrong, your sister already texted."

"Did you get what you wanted, Mom? Is your score finally settled?"

"No. I wanted everyone to see Jesse Manes humiliated and weak. I wanted him to die knowing shame. But the papers say it was a tragedy. People like him - bad white men - they die heroes, no matter what they've done. People like us - we die villains."

"Yeah I know. I've done it. But I also got a second chance. So I get to leave a different legacy. The last time that I saw you, I said that I hated you. That's not true. I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, mija."

"I also told you to leave and I was right about that. Liz was free and it should have stayed that way. Manes is gone. There is no revenge to be had. No closure and no redemption. Don't come back, mom. Don't bother Liz again. I really hope you get better. Maybe you can have a second chance too."

Another possible time jump. Michael and Isobel pull up to where Max is out in the desert.

"How'd you guys find me?"

"Freaky twin thing. What's going on?"

"I took more of the antidote. Sorry, I should have called you guys."

"Save it. We are sick of being pissed at you for being so obnoxiously yourself. Why you look so scared?"

Pod Squad is investigating a cave. There's a door or opening covered by alien text with the alien symbol on it. It sorta looks like there's something behind it.

"Um, well, when I touched the alien console at the fair, something happened. I heard whispers that I couldn't understand...until now. I think when I touched it I unlocked something... Like a cage? The whispers led me here. I know it sounds crazy, but would you guys help me find a tunnel?"

"It's sealed up."

"I feel like we should learn more before we just busy that door open."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

There's a knocking sound and a voice calls out.

"Help! Is someone there?"

"If Max unlocked something at CrashCon, whoever that is has been down here for days without…"

"I need water. Please."

"There has to be three."

Note that we now know which symbol represents each of them.

The door shatters and they all react (Isobel's face is priceless).

We flash back to the mysterious stowaway/alien hoodie dude/Jones. Louise fighting him. Now we can see that it's Max. Nora kneeling after the crash with the hand on her shoulder. It's Max's face. He attacks/burns the military men/Hector Valenti.

The stowaway/Jones looks exactly like Max. Only with a really bad beard.

"Howdy partner."

MUSIC:

1. Hootie & The Blowfish "Time"

2. Tyler Rich "Leave Her Wild"

3. Clay Rigdon "That Kinda Kiss"

4. Marc Danziesen "See Yourself"

5. Gloria Hart and Art Kassel "Frankie And Johnny"

6. The Score "Legend"

7. Sarah May Byrom "Rhythm Of A Memory"

8. Tyler Blackburn "Would You Come Home"

9. The Well Pennies "The Echo And The Shadow"

10. Valerie Broussard "Dark Side"

#roswell new mexico #rnm season 2 #details #episode details #long post #rnm 213 #mr. jones

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nothingbutfangirlsmut · 4 years

Text

The Girl Out of Time

Pairing: Bucky X Reader and Sam X Reader

Background: Willow Roffe was born and raised in Brooklyn. She lived her life as happily as she could with her two childhood best friends Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers. When they both left her to join the military she tried to continue with life but that didn't get to happen for her for the simple fact that she meant something to James Buchanan Barnes.

Rating: Story will be overall MATURE but not every chapter. There will be strong language, talk of both mental and physical abuse, some good ole angst, and smut. There will be a warning at the beginning of the chapter when it includes smut.

Chapter 17

A few weeks after everything had happened with Shield, Hydra, and Bucky I found myself back at Gracie's. She had excitedly let me in. Turns out her children and grandchildren were there. She had introduced me to everyone then sent the kids upstairs to play while Gracie, Greg, Lucas, Anna, and I sat together in the living room.

"What have you been up to since returning?" Anna asked me.

"A lot of things. I use to work for Shield with my friend Steve but then I helped him take that down. Now I've been helping him search for a friend we thought was dead." I told them.

"James?" Gracie asked.

"Yea, turns out he's still alive. It's been an insane past few months." I told her.

"Sounds like it." Greg chuckled.

After the kids and grandkids left I sat alone on the couch with Grace.

"I've been seeing someone." I told her softly.

"Really?" She asked excitedly.

"Yea, his name is Sam. He's been in the middle of all this with me. It's rough sometimes though because I know we are eventually going to find James. What happens if I remember him and all those old feelings everyone says I had come back? I really do like Sam and I don't want to loose him or hurt him." I confided.

Grace chuckled softly then turn in her seat to face me. She grabbed my hand holding it gently between both of her's.

"Does Sam know about James?" She asked.

I nodded.

"Is he aware of your memory loss and your history with James?" She asked.

I nodded again.

"He still chooses to he with you even though he knows all this. I'm sure he knows there's a possibility of loosing you to James. The thing is, even if you won't be together forever, the time you have with Sam now is precious and full of memories you will cherish forever. I can't tell you what to decide when the time comes. All I can say is follow your heart. The right choice is not always the easiet." She spoke softly.

I just stared at her for a minute.

"How did you get to be the wise one?" I asked her quietly.

Grace chuckled then patted my leg.

"It comes with years and years of mistakes." She smiled at me.

"I hate that I didn't get to experience life with you. To be there for you when you needed me." I told her feeling the sudden need to apologize.

"Things were hard after you disappeared. Mom was an absolute mess and dad seemed to get even worse than he was before. I hadn't realized how much you had protected me and Amy from him. Things were rough but Amy and I kept pushing on because we knew that's what you would have done." Grace's voice was shaky.

I hugged her feeling even more sorry that I had been taken away from her and Amelia. I never wanted them to suffer at our father's hand. That's why I always took the beatings. I wanted them to be free and happy. I could handle the pain plus I had Steve to get me threw. I had James too but I couldn't remeber what impact he had made on me.

A few months later I woke up in bed cuddled next to Sam. I had ended up staying with him in his apartment in DC. He was already awake typing away on his phone. I wrapped my arm around his torso then moved closer to him. He chuckled then started running his fingers threw my hair.

"Steve sent me another lead for us to follow. Said he and the others are going after another Hydra base." Sam said quietly.

I groaned then rolled over on my back. Ever since we found out Bucky was still alive we've been chasing down leads. It's been months with no result. Each time the trail ends cold.

"Where to this time?" I asked him as I sat up.

"Looks like Mexico" Sam said.

I got out of bed wrapping my arms around myself from the sudden cold that hit my naked body. Sam whistled at me as he usually did. I hurried to the dresser and closet to get my clothes. Sam was quick to do the same. When we were both dressed we each packed a bag that would last us a few days.

"Let's grab some breakfast before we head out." Sam said as he walked out of the bedroom.

I pulled on the dark brown leather jacket that Steve had given me then followed Sam down the hall. When I got to the kitchen I gave Sam a quick kiss then started to pull out everything we needed. Sam did most of the cooking as usual while I helped here and there.

"How are we getting there?" I asked Sam as we ate.

"Flying" he said simply.

It took us a few days to come to the conclusion that this lead was just like the others. It's possible Bucky was there at one point but he was long gone by the time we got there. Once we were back in the states Steve called to invite us to New York for a party.

I showed Sam where the Avengers tower was in the city then we made our way all the way to the top. By the time we got there the party was in full swing.

"Sam! Willow!" Someone shouted from a small group.

Steve appeared out of the people then walked over to us quickly. He hugged me tightly to him.

"How'd it go?" He asked us.

"Cold" I told him.

He nodded with a look of disappointment clear on his face.

"I want to introduce you to some people." Steve said pulling me by my hand.

Sam followed behind us threw the crowd. Steve stopped in front of a tall, extremely muscular man with long blonde hair.

"Will this is Thor. Thor this is Willow the girl I told you about." Steve said with a smile.

Thor smiled then extended his large hand out to me. I made it a point to shake his hand using my super soldier strength. He laughed then shook his hand.

"She is mighty" his voice boomed in a foreign accent I didn't recognize.

"He's the God of Thunder and king of Asgard." Steve said to me.

"God?" I questioned in surprise.

"You've heard of the Norse god Thor right?" Steve asked clearly amused.

"Well yea" I answered.

Steve pointed to Thor. I looked up to the man who wasn't a man at all. He was a mythical god.

"You mean to tell me you're casually friends with a god?" I asked Steve.

"He's apart of the Avengers." Steve shrugged.

I just looked at him like he was crazy. He had to be joking. Steve laughed as he pulled me behind him again. This time we stopped at the bar where Tony, Hill, and another man were standing.

"Willow, nice to see you again." Tony said raising his glass to me.

"You too Stark" I smiled at him.

"This is Rhodey. He's an old friend of Stark's. He's also known as the War Machine which is one of Tony's suits." Steve explained.

"Pleasure" I said as I shook his hand.

He pulled his hand away then slowly stretched his fingers.

"Quite a grip you got there." He said in surprise.

Hill, Stark, Steve, and Sam all laughed. Apparently he hadn't been told about me yet.

"Sorry about that sometimes I forget no one other than Steve can handle my normal hand shakes." I chuckled.

"Why's that?" Rhodey asked curiously.

"She's a super soldier like Capsicle." Tony said.

"Capsicle?" I questioned him with a brow raised.

Steve sighed and shook his head while Tony laughed. Steve continued to pull me around the room to introduce me to a few people he had met. Eventually the three of us decided to go off on our own.

Steve started quietly explaining what had happened at the Hydra base. Turns out it wasn't very stealthy. They had two "enhanced" as Steve called them that really did a number on them. In the end they did end up with the septor.

"Sounds like a hell of a fight. Sorry I missed it." Sam said as we started up a set of stairs.

"If I had known it would be a fire fight I absolutely would have called you two." Steve chuckled.

"No, no, I'm not actually sorry. I'm just trying to sound tough. I'm very happy chasing cold leads with Willow on our missing person case. Avenging is your world. Your world is crazy." Sam explained as we came to a stop on a balcony overlooking the room.

"I'm kinda upset I missed it." I shrugged.

"Of course you are." Sam chuckled.

"Be it ever so humble." Steve laughed.

"You find a place in Brooklyn yet?" Sam asked Steve.

Steve sighed.

"I don't think I can afford a place in Brooklyn." He said softly.

"Well, home is home, ya know?" Sam said.

I can imagine all the reasons Steve would want a place in Brooklyn. Sam was right. Home is home. I would give anything to be able to go home. There were even days I wished I could go back to 1946. Then I had the days I was so happy to be where I was. It was a rough rollercoaster ride. Each day was different but I pushed threw and made the best of it.

"Come on we should join the others." Steve said moving to go back downstairs.

Steve left Sam and I alone to go talk to Bruce. Sam and I found a seat on a couch. Hill, Tony, Rhodey, and Clint were already sitting in the same area as us. Nat was quick to join us. The party dwindled quickly until it was only the avengers and their close personal friends.

---

Masterlist

#nothingbutfangirlsmut #bucky imagine #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #steve rogers #natasha romanov #clint barton #tony stark #thor #agent hill #bruce banner #rhodey #sam wilson fanfiction #sam x reader #sam wilson #the girl out of time

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ben-the-hyena · 4 years

Note

Steven Universe for the unpopular opinion thing?

While everyone is sad for Steven "nuuu my precious baby ;.;" THANK GOD FINALLY HE IS ACTING LIKE AND BECOMING A REAL CHARACTER WITH A REAL PERSONALITY. A tragical character at that, at this point I didn't see it coming ! (AndhonestlythefirsttimesitwashappeningIwasblissfulhewassufferingbecause"aaawlifeishardmrsmileyisntit?" I'm awful) He went from one of the most annoying characters to the only sane one. FINALLY he gets angry and rightfully so (except maybe for Greg who didn't know not telling him about his parents would be bad and did it sincerely, and to Connie who didn't break up but just said "not yet" for the proposal ; but eh he is troubled), finally he sees the Gems are absolutely brainless and gave him a Messiah Complex and made him an outcast because "ROOOOOSE ;.;" and "we have been living her for millenia listening to Rose but how do humans function ?" (I HAD FAITH IN YOU GIRLS... NOW YOU ALL SEEM LIKE CLOWNS TO ME), finally Connie's mom calls these horrors out, he is becoming angry serious and down to Earth at fucking last, AND WE SEE HE ACTUALLY DIDN'T FORGIVE THE DIAMONDS HE ACTUALLY *TRIED* TO BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT WAS THE RIGHT THING BUT HE STILL IS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THEM and he finally realizes they should pay and better that (too bad he failed killing White Diamond, I don't care how "good" she became I suspect they don't do it out of goodness but just because "heh I found a new passtime with my slaves" ; also I do like the Diamonds. As VILLAINS. I have been hating and HATE how they show they are nod """good""" and that he is in the "wrong", Genocidal Oligarchies should be punished with death for the good of everyone and the respect of those who lost their loved ones because of them especially they don't seem remorseful about THAT just to have upsetti spaghetti "Pink")

Sadly knowing Rebecca Sugar I KNOW he will turn normal and happy again and not because (it would have been good if so) everybody would understand what wrong they did to him and apologize and actually give him a good therapy lasting years but just for a "we luv you Steven" "omg right it's my name :D". So instead at this point I would even love if the end of the show is either him running away forever far from them on some new planet to start a new life far from all these crazy people and have a new purpose, or him dying and making people realize too late it's partly their fault (and who knows, maybe once Steven dead Pink would return and FINALLY be called out the way she deserves) and/or him snapping and turning into a villain and the new enemy because he is tired of their shit. But none of these four scenarii, these 3 and the first I said before, will happen for sure. Sigh. It's MLP FIM all over again with SU...

#moi #steven universe #ask #anon #fandom #psychology #fans don't look

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rickssoberjourney · 5 years

Text

I Have the Capacity to be Just Like the Tasmanian Devil

A whirling mass of anger, wreaking havoc on the people around me. Sometimes, I feel just like that!

I've been doing a lot of thinking about this lately. I truly feel that my Higher Powert is leading me into this conversation with myself. By exposing my character defects, my HP is compelling me to examine my part in feeling unwanted.

I remember standing on the playground in 5th grade. I was looking at the girls playing foursquare and the boys playing softball. My thought? "I don't belong...I don't fit in. I felt like I was on the outside looking in."

That feeling follows me into the AA/CMA rooms. Even though many people do greet me when I walk in, there are those who (for some reasons of their own...I can't presume to know what is going on in their lives!) choose to ignore me. Sometimes, it is a person with whom I have talked, exchanged texts with, or am Facebook friends. When those people ignore me, I go right into Tazmainian Devil mode.

Now, I don't do it outright. That wouldn't do. No, I do it quietly...to myself. I wish I could say that I don't know where these feelings of not fitting in come from. I wish I could feign ignorance as to why I get so upset when people (especially in the rooms) don't greet me in the way that I think they should. I wish I could say those things, but I can't. I know exactly where it comes from...

My father.

At the risk of sounding like Southern California pop-psychology, I have "daddy issues." I'm an only child and I was raised to please my father. When I would do exactly what he wanted (being obedient, getting good grades, etc.), he would shower love and praise upon me. But, woe to me if I disappointed him! Once, I came home with a C on my report card and the didn't talk to me for a week. He would treat my mom the same way. So, I learned a powerful lesson that was reinforced day in and day out until the day I got married and moved out of his house. That was 24 years of "learning" that my happiness was dependent upon sources outside myself. If YOU like me and approvedof me, I feel great; if you don't like me, I'm shit.

Through my involvement with CoDA, I came to understand the dynamics of my daddy issues. Today, when I feel rejected because someone doesn't respond to me the way I want them to (in the rooms, in person at a bar or club, or even online), I immediately feel unlikeable and unworth. I wonder, "What's wrong with me? Why doesn't that person like me?" Then, as a defense, I resent that person.

Case in point. There is a handsome, muscular guy in one of my meetings. We exchanged phone numbers and texted a couple of times. Then, he sort of ignored me at meetings. If I started a conversation with him, seeking him out, he would talk to me but he never initiated contact with me.

One day, he walked across the room, greeted the guy sitting right next to me with a hug and conversation, and totally ignored me. His reasons? I have no idea. But, I jumped to the conclusion that he didn't like me and I started my downward spiral. This went on for meeting after meeting. And, what's worse, I began to feel that way about several other people in the room.

Nevermind the people who DID greet me! I was hurt and pissed that the people that I WANTED to greet me didn't. What a shithole of self-doubt and anger because they didn't give me what I wanted. I knew there was a problem, but I placed the blame mostly on them and not me, even though I knew the genesis of my feelings.

Last night, things came to a head. It's amazing how my HP will smack me in the head to get my attention. That is exactly what happened at the Speaker's Meeting last night.

A Facebook friend whom I had never met face to face was at the meeting. We greeted each other and then he said, "Do you know Greg D.?" I wasn't sure. "Well, he told me that you sent him a friend request and then blocked him a few days later when he didn't respond right away." I was embarrassed and tried to explain, but the meeting was starting and I had to go sit down. That was a long meeting!

My HP was working on me. I knew that I had done Greg wrong. I knew that by sending a "nasty" message and blocking him, I was being hypersensitive and that I was definitely in the wrong. Then, I sat there looking out over the large audience. Unconsciously thinking, "Oh, that person is not nice to me." "He knows me and has talked to me on several occasions and yet he walks right past me unless I say something. Well, fuck that! Why should I HAVE to be the one to reach out all the time?" That kind of thinking went on for a few minutes.

Then God-smacked...

Maybe it is not them. Maybe it's you! Maybe you behave that way to build walls so that no one can hurt you. Maybe you look for reasons to keep people out. Maybe you think, "I'll hurt them before they can hurt me!" All of those choices (although difficult to swallow!) were definite possibilities. I sat there realizing just how fucked up I really am.

Now, I've learned enough from my sponsor to question my thinking. I've learned to be gentle with myself and to not tell myself that I'm "fucked up!" But the thoughts came anyway. And, while I could have been gentler with myself, I had to face the fact that I was running headlong into who I really was.

None of this is THEIR problem; it's MY problem. Thank you HP for giving me that uncomfortable realization.

What do I do with this? At times, I simply don't know. I'm trying to concentrate on those kind people in the rooms that always greet me and ask how I'm doing. I try to get out of myself, making sure that I talk more about them than I do about me. But, there's still a rub.

Today, in the 8:30 meeting, I shared about what happend last night. I confessed that I didn't feel welcome in the rooms but that I realized that it was MY PROBLEM and I wasn't blaming them at all. I told them that by "coming clean" about my issues that maybe I could trust them enough to love me through it. I'm so glad I shared!

The next person to share was that guy that walked right past me, ignoring me in favor to greeting the man next to me. What he shared floored me.

"I do exactly what Rick does!" he said. He related a story about a burgeouning friendship with someone in the rooms. He talked about the interests that they shared...and then, how that guy simply stopped communicating with him.

Just like me, he started in on himself. "Why doesn't he like me anymore? What did I do? Must must be a pretty shitty person for someone to treat me like that!" My thinking pattern EXACTLY! Then, he shared something that his sponsor shared with him. It went something like this: "Expectations are resentments waiting to happen."

Bingo!

He and I have expectations of people and of how we want to be treated. Nevermind that they have lives and struggles of their own. "You need to make me feel good about myself but treating right, damn it! You aren't living up to MY expectations!"

Fuck...what a trap!

The only conclusion I can come to is that I need to take care of my side of the street. I need to be open to those who greet me warmly. I need greet others warmly. And, if they don't, rather than making it "all about me!" I can utter a silent prayer..."Peace be with you!" and move on with my life.

But what about situations where I want to make friend with someone. There is another young man that I have become friends with. He (so far!) has been very welcoming and open to conversation with me, both in the rooms and on Facebook. But, I find myself doing things that will engage him. I find myself playing "come and get me," saying and doing things on purpose that I know will elicit a response.

I do it all the time in almost every aspect of my life, wheher it is baking for people or blocking them on Facebook. In doing those things, I try to elicit a response...responses that will make me feel OK about myself. Doesn't always work, however. There are those expectations setting up resentments.

Ok. I get it!

My dilemma: how do I get to know this guy (and others in the rooms) without playing "come and get me" and without manipulating them to soothe my wounded ego? Is every overture to another person a veiled plea to validate me? How do I know? Do I keep to myself and only interract when someone approaces me? With this man, do I sit back at let him come to me instead of manipulating the situation? How do I navigate this without building walls, while at the same time being able to live with the very real possibility that my expecations might be wrong and that I might get my feelings hurt? I'm not sure I have the answers yet.

For now, sitting back and letting things happen naturally seems the course that I will take. I desperately want this guy to like me (not necessarily in a romantic way!) but I think that my need for approval from him just might drive him away. So, I sit back and wait on my HP. If I'm supposed to get to know him, I will. I don't have to orchestrate it. In fact, I need to get the hell outta the way and let my HP take care of things because when I take the helm, I'm sure to run aground!

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thesalvationofdoriangray · 3 years

Text

Friends

Writing to Sleepy Fish- Space Cadet

Basketball always is my highlight of the week no matter how it goes. Kevin Gao is funny. Couldn't stop laughing with this guy. He wears these flamboyantly short shorts and jiggles his thighs in a way where it makes this hilarious sound. I call him the quadzilla because dude is not shy about showing off his quadricep muscles. I remember one time when Kevin came to Bible study wednesday night. He was asking very rudimentary questions about his faith and he was very serious about learning. I remember two people there that were laughing at him in a joking way but there wasn't anything funny about his questions. Seemed sincere to me. I recall Greg saying," What is so funny you guys?" I hope he was able to continue seeking and find what he was looking for.

Nice armpit hair Ray. Just a beast in his natural habitat. Ray always cracks me up. We always break out in laughing fits. He's going to move soon and marry Joyce. They make a mighty fine couple. Ray's got this innocent childlike personality that is hard not to love. I still remember when I first met him, we were laughing about something silly in the garage at OPD. I'm going to miss this kid when he's gone.

We had a conversation today about guns and he wants to go shooting with me. He said Joyce refuses to have a gun in the house. I mean these are honest, prim, and proper folks we're talking about here. Statistically they won't need a gun. But you never know. My boy Harvey is prim and proper and Mexicans shot at him while robbing his house in a nice neighborhood. Ray says in a home invasion, all he has to do is comply. Plus he doesn't want to put bullet holes in the way. This guy is asian as hell lol. Always thinking about saving money even in a life or death situation. He most certainly will be the first to become rich out of my circle. The hearts of men can be evil, they might put a bullet in between your eyes just to leave no witnesses. Plus all this is hypothetical. If shit hit the fan, I know he would be thinking about protecting Joyce. He will understand when he gets married. I love Ray. When I climb out of sheoul and meet the love of my life, especially if I have a kid, I'd kill every single intruder in that house to protect my family. Don't give me this pacifist BS about how I should have faith in God and how my fate is in God's hand. My puny brain is too minuscule to comprehend the wonders of God but I know for a fact that's not how he operates. I've been home invaded by masked men and on another occasion taken for over 22 grand in crispy one hundreds. What did David do when his wives, livestock, and spoils were taken by the Amalekites after the burning of Zilkag? He did what every man should do. He marched out with 400 out of 600, slaughtered them and retrieved everything. Nothing was missing great or small. I'll never forget being tied up and the way it felt when a crowbar was sliding against my teeth. Perpitrator quietly mutters in my ear, "Do you want your teeth? Tell me where your stash is located." Even when I hear random sounds in a house, it'll send off red flags if I can't identify them right away. I'm the way I am from my past. I will always be in support of firearms and it is our right to bear arms. When I die, I don't want anything ridiculous like spreading my ashes in the ocean. Just bury me next to my parents with my Bible and my pistol.

Pete got me the Apocrypha. He's known that I've always wanted to read it since it has the books of Maccabees in it but it was not allowed in OPD. I still remember secretly reading The Essence of Christianity by Ludwig Feuerbach and making it my mission for apologetics because it's actually a book defending atheism. Anyways, the Maccabean dynasty was an era between the last prophet and Roman occupation when Judas the Hammer emancipated the Jews from the evil Greek king Antiochus, one of Alexander's four generals after his death.

My landlord made me Ning Chi hotpot. This man spent a 1 hr and 45 mins talking to me a few days ago. Vincent is full of lot of wisdom and he's also a believer. He really put things into perspective. Jesus once said the light of the body is the lamp of the eyes. Essentially it winds down to how I look at things. My mentors in my early adulthood were dope fiends, drug peddlers, and criminals. I'll never forget my friend Mickey, miss him but he's probably doing hard time again. It's a blessing now that I have so many mentors who are men of God and I must give thanks.

Tammy invited me to watch The Chosen with Vertigo people. I have social anxiety right now. It's better to admit it then pretend I'm some kind of pillar of strength. I got some demons I have to decapitate. Let me keep it real even if it's embarrassing. If I'm embarrassed then good. Like my mentor said, "You remember this moment the next time you deviate from the righteous path." When I become a pillar of strength, I won't have to say anything. People will just know and believe me, that moment is in the near future. I'm tired of living in denial and either in 1st or 2nd Peter, it says the truth will set me FREE.

Sometimes I'm not sure why people think about me. I'm practically a ghost. I guess that's the love of God working through them and for that I'm thankful. I'm use to people calling me for dope and the moment they get their fix, they disappear. I guess I'm going to have to relearn what healthy friendships are.

Heavenly Father,

You are the most gracious and almighty Lord of the heavens and earth. You are the father of lights, the source from which all things came. Even when it is cloudy, you hold the the world in place emanating light and life. There is nothing out of your reach. There is nothing that's impossible with you by my side. I pray that you take this heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh. Help me to love and feel loved again. Please instill in me a heart of humility so that I may always see things truthfully. I give gratitude for all these wonderful people that you have strategically placed in my life. Each with a specific purpose and spiritual gift to show me about you and myself.

In the precious name of Christ, Amen

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sunken-standard · 7 years

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Hello are you still taking requests? 5,7 and 93, please. Ignore this if you aren't :) thank you.

So this starts out one way, and then ittook a turn and I just… let it. Because life does that. Andbecause I need to stop erasing and rewriting everything I put down. So yeah. It’s not in any ‘verse, though it could be a newone—Shit-We-Won’t-Tell-The-Grandkids 'verse, maybe.

“What do you mean you’releaving?”/ “Please, I’m begging you.”/ “I oweyou what?”

“Sorry, I’ll only be a second, Ijust need to grab a—is that my razor?” Molly stopped shortbefore she got to the medicine cabinet.

“Well I was hardly going to ruinmine just for my legs. ��The blades cost £4each. You’re dripping, by the way.”

“Bollocks,” she said, puttingher hand over the sink while she opened the medicine cabinet. Shereally should keep plasters downstairs in the kitchen, since that waswhere most of the injuries in her flat occurred (very few of themactually hers), but it just felt weird and wrong to do that.

She heard the sounds of Sherlockgetting out of the bath behind her and clamped down on the urge tolook; she’d seen him naked a million times before (she was a doctor,not a woman, and modesty was for other people anyway) butnever with shaved legs and she was a bit curious if he’d gone anyhigher. She was really a terrible person.

“Why are you bleeding so much? Did you hit an artery?” he asked, peering down at her hand.

“No, but I did take off part of mythumbnail with the cheese grater. Don’t worry, I picked it out ofthe cheese, so no one’s getting any surprises on their pizza.”

“Shame, it’d be a bit like findingla fève in a King cake.”

“King cake.” It rang a bell,but wasn’t something she could ever recall having.

“Mm. French thing, for Lent. They put a figurine inside a cake and whoever’s lucky enough to findit gets to be king for the day. Hardly worth the dental work, butthat’s the French for you.”

“Ah. So was that for some case inFrance?” she asked, watching the blood swirl down the drain asshe washed the wound. She always thought it looked pretty. Andthat’s why they don’t let you out of the morgue, she thought toherself.

“No, family. Fully one quarterFrench on my Mum’s side. And Catholic, to boot.”

She turned to him with an expression ofmock-appal. "A Papist? The horror.“

He smiled softly as he looked down atthe plaster he’d grabbed, peeling the paper tabs off the sticky part. "I was even baptized Catholic, as far as that goes. And I cansay the Rosary in seven different languages. Came in surprisinglyhandy when I was in Eastern Europe.” He used gauze to dab awaythe blood that continued to well up from the wound, then gentlyapplied the plaster.

Her breath caught at the weird, casualintimacy of the moment; she wasn’t used to being the one patched upand if she did need it, she always just did it herself. She soughtdesperately to cover the things it was pulling out of her; she wasafraid she might do something stupid like kiss him. "So whywere you shaving your legs?“ she blurted.

"Why do you shave yours? I likethe smoothness,” he said with a straight face, then cracked intoa smile. "It’s for a client.“

"What are you, Pretty Woman?”

“That remains to be seen, but onehopes. When’s the last time you’ve been to a drag show?”

“Why would you assume I’ve everbeen to a drag show?”

“Jim Moriarty, with whom youwatched Glee, was your boyfriend and you’ve gone tothree gay weddings in the time I’ve known you. Your femininity andsexuality are completely non-threatening and, work attire aside,you’ve got a strong sense of personal style. Of course you’ve beento drag shows. Also, I’m going to need help doing my make-up.”

The desire to kiss him evaporated andwas replaced with the desire to throttle him instead. She settledfor a scowl.

“Well, I mean, Cher is kindof a cliche,” Molly said, following him to the bar.

“I don’t even know who Cher is,”he complained, gesturing to the bartender to get his attention.

“Of course you don’t. Have younever been to a fancy dress party? There’s always that one couplethat goes as Sonny and Cher because it’s 'retro.’ Though, I mean,more in the 90s than now, but old people still do it.”

“Wouldn’t know, I delete alltraumatic experiences.”

She rolled her eyes and ordered herselfa double bourbon on the rocks and got Sherlock something neon pinkwith a crazy straw. He might delete it later, but she was going toenjoy that memory for a long time.

“Molly?! Molly Hooper?!” Oneof Beyoncé’s back-up dancers appeared at her elbow. "I knew itwas you! I’d never forget that nose!“

She struggled for a second to place thevoice with a name, and then it hit her. "Bassie! How areyou?” she gushed, a reflex. Sherlock cleared his throat. "Oh,right, Sher—Shireen, Bassie, Bassie, Shireen. I used to go outwith his flatmate Jim,“ she said, lifting her eyebrows toemphasize. Sherlock stiffened next to her, then relaxed. After all,it was five years ago and Sebastian had been cleared of anyinvolvement straight away, so it wasn’t like he was any kind ofthreat.

Bassie put his hand to his ample bosomand made a sad face, obviously in memory of Jim, then reached out toher, eyes and mouth going wide. "Oh my God, though, do youbelieve it? You did hear about it, right?”

“Saw it in the paper. So sad,”she said as convincingly as she could.

“I think he’s still outthere somewhere. He always said he wanted to go to Thailand, I betthat’s where he is.”

Sherlock choked on his cocktail. Sheand Sherlock were two of the only three people alive that knewexactly where Jim Moriarty was, and it was definitely notThailand.

“I wish he’d call me, I’d fly outfor drinks. Any excuse, yeah?” Bassie went on, then winkedtheatrically. "He was so down after you two split. Oh my God! Did you know?“

She tittered and sipped her drink,aware that Sherlock was watching her like a hawk. "Nope. Didn’t even know he was gay, let alone a criminal mastermind, hehheh.”

“Gay,” Bassie rolledhis eyes. "Jim was above labels. Unless it was Westwood orMcQueen, I am I right?“ He glanced behind the bar. "Gotto dash, sweetie, I’m on again in ten with Lady HaHa and getting intothe latex to be one of her little monsters is murder. Stickaround til the end of the night. Please, I’m begging you. I’m doing'This is My Life,’ never a dry eye in the house, you’ll die. Textme, we’ll do drinks sometime.”

He was gone with a flurry ofair-kisses, leaving only a cloud of hairspray and Chanel in his wake.

“He’s really not that campy inreal life,” she said. She remembered him as pretty reserved,actually.

Sherlock let the crazy straw drop fromhis lips, leaving a smudge of lipstick on the plastic. "Mm. Wouldn’t imagine he’d get very far in civil engineering if he were. You never mentioned—"

“Isn’t that your client overthere?” she deflected, pointing to a random stranger. There wasa lot she never mentioned about Jim, and it was going to stay thatway.

“What? Where?”

“Oh bugger,” she said whenthe song changed. It was a drag club; it was bound to happen.

“What?” Sherlock asked,perking up, no doubt on guard for another surprise social interactionor something actually related to the case. "And why is everyonelooking at me?“

"The song. It’s Cher. It’s like Rocky Horror, they always do something special for thevirgins.”

“How do they know I'm—”

She ignored him, swigging the rest ofdrink and slamming the glass down on the bar. "Alright, let’sdo this. You’re going to owe me.“ She took Sherlock’s wristand pulled him into the middle of the dance floor. She wouldn’t beany kind of assistant if she let his cover get blown because he was acomplete knob that didn’t know a single song written after 1920, withthe exception of (and God only knew why) Ringo Starr’s discography. Besides, standing around all night in a club full of good-looking,well-groomed men that wouldn’t grope her or press theirawkward boners into her arse was just a wasted opportunity. She’ddrink away her embarrassment later.

"Wh-what are you doing?”

“It’s not what I’m doing,it’s what you’re doing. This song is for you. Startdancing and act like you’re having a good time,” she shoutedinto his ear before she let go of him and went for it.

She felt like the hero in an actionmovie, running through no-man’s land and drawing the bad guys’ firewhile the other part of the team did the thing to save the world. She channelled every liquor-soaked night out after a bad break-upthat she could actually remember as she belted out the opening linesof 'Believe,’ using Sherlock as her prop, dancing against him andsinging to him and oh God there really wasn’t enough booze in theworld for this.

And then nothing in the world madesense because he started dancing. With the music. And lip-syncing. Perfectly; well-rehearsed.

Oh, she was going to kill thatprick. He did things like this to John all the time (and sometimesMary, and Greg once or twice, and his brother whenever he possiblycould), the tit, but she thought she had some kind of… immunityfrom it. Sure, there was probably some reason he’d acted allclueless and then suddenly switched gears, the deception was all partof the plan, always was, but he could have at least trusted her forthat bit like he normally did.

Suddenly the music and dancing and thewhole novelty of a case in a drag club didn’t seem quite as fun andexciting as it did five minutes ago. She powered through the rest ofthe song anyway, dancing her way back to the edge of the floor andletting him have centre stage, just as he’d probably planned from thestart.

She didn’t know why she was hurt by it;it wasn’t exactly a rational or proportionate response. Leaving wasnot a thing an adult woman would do, but she really didn’t want to bethere anymore. It wasn’t like he really needed her for the caseanyway, he could internalize his own executive functioning for onceinstead of making someone else do it.

And then he was suddenly in front ofher, blocking her way to the front of the club. "Where are yougoing?“

"Should be fairly obvious. I’mleaving.”

“What do you mean you’releaving? Are you not feeling well?” He reached out to touchher forehead and she batted his hand away.

“I’m feeling fine. Next timemaybe—” she cut herself off, pressed her lips together. Shedidn’t want to have to shout over the music to explain it to him. Itwasn’t worth it.

“Next time what?”

“Just, finish your thing here,”she said, then walked away. She was only a little let down (thoughnot surprised) when he didn’t follow after her.

“Really hoped you’d make more of ascene,” Sherlock said breezily, coming to stand beside her atthe bus stop. She’d only been there a few minutes, though she hadtaken her time getting there. She needed the air to clear her head.

“What are you talking about?”

“When I humiliated you on thedance floor. Thought you’d have a stronger reaction.” Hewinced as he pulled off his wig, pins catching in his hair.

She had a feeling she was about to havethat stronger reaction with whatever he said next. "So it wasall part of your plan.“

"Obviously. Really though, Ican’t believe you thought I didn’t know who Cher is. If I canidentify a gay man by his underwear, it’s a safe bet I know a bitmore about the culture.”

Wait, was he trying to tell hersomething? Mrs. Hudson used to think— But Molly’d never got thatvibe from him (then again, she hadn’t got that vibe from Jim, and,well), and there was Irene Adler and the other one, and he’d neversaid anything in all the years he’d known her, but they didn’t talkabout those kinds of things—

“No, I’m not gay, you of allpeople should know that,” he said, sounding slightlyexasperated.

“Me, of all people,” sheechoed flatly. She felt like it was an insult of some kind and shewasn’t sure why.

He looked at her like he was trying tofigure something out, then looked away; she wasn’t sure what wasbehind that. Whatever, it didn’t change anything.

“So why couldn’t you just tell meto 'make a scene’ when you gave me a signal? I would have gone alongwith whatever.”

“Because I really did need you toleave and I needed it to be authentic. Thought for a minute youweren’t going to. Didn’t have a plan B this time, either.”

“Mm.” She was beginning tounderstand why John reacted how he did sometimes. Right then, shereally didn’t care about the case. He’d obviously solved it, theside of good prevailed, hurray, and the only collateral damage washer trust. It was like he delighted in finding the most convoluted,idiotic ways to get from point A to point B sometimes and it didn’tmatter who was in the way.

“You’re angry with me.”

“Not really angry, no. Disappointed,” she said truthfully. Sometimes she didn’t evenknow why she invested the time in explaining and correcting his badbehaviour.

“And hurt.” It was aquestion.

“A bit.”

“I’m sorry.” His voice wassoft, sincere.

You always are, she thought withan edge of bitterness. She shrugged. It was a stupid thing to behurt over, anyway. She just needed a bit of time to get over it.

They stood in silence for another fewmoments, until Sherlock finally spoke again. "You said I wouldowe you. I owe you… what? Name it,“ he said quietly.

"Doesn’t matter, it was just athing I said. You don’t owe me anything,” she said just asquietly. She really just wanted to forget about it.

“I could put the wig back on andwe could go to a different club. You like dancing,” he offered. He was only half-joking, but she could tell by his voice that herealized this wasn’t the kind of thing he could charm his way out of.

“Maybe some other time,” shesaid, trying to keep her voice neutral.

“Would you—ever… want to? Godancing. When it’s not for a case. After you’re finished beingcross with me,” he said, looking out into the street. He wasn’tlooking at anything, he was just avoiding looking in herdirection.

Any other time she’d wonder if sheheard him correctly, or what kind of angle he was working; she hadthe thought that the timing was too bad for it to be anything but asincere offer. And the way he asked wasn’t the way he asked if shewanted to go grab something to eat after work or if she wanted to gowith him to see this or that new exhibit at whatever museum orgallery. It was like he was afraid she’d say no and the rejectionwould actually mean something.

“Like a date,” she said. Itwas more of a question. She felt like an idiot for even asking, andmaybe it was all just wishful thinking again like the time she’dmisread things so badly before that party, but she couldn’t help butfeel like this time was different.

“You could call it that, Isuppose. Wouldn’t be inaccurate,” he said, finally looking ather out of the corner of his eye.

Her pulse sped up and the part of herthumb she’d grated off throbbed uncomfortably; Sherlock was stillmostly (absurdly) in drag and the night was muggy and the streetsmelled overwhelmingly of wee and spilled beer. It was about as farfrom 'fairytale’ as one could get.

“After I’m finished being crosswith you. And you won’t do anything like that again.”

“I won’t. I truly am sorry.”

“I know.”

They stood in awkward silence foranother few moments until the bus turned the corner at the end of thestreet.

“You’re not actually expecting meto take the bus all the way back to yours as a form of penance, areyou?”

“Tempting, but no. You can usethat magical cab-summoning superpower of yours any time now.”

Sherlock gave her one of those soft,genuine smiles of his and, while making her stomach do the samelittle flip it always did, it made her giggle, too.

“I didn’t even get to make anyjokes about John Waters, RuPaul, or Kinky Boots. So manymissed opportunities. Guess you’ll just have to take another casethat requires High Drag.”

“Ah, no,” he said, swinginghis wig as they walked in the direction of the taxi rank.

“Can’t blame a girl for trying,”she said.

#anon #sherlolly #drabble ask meme round 3

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gra-sonas · 4 years

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I'm seeing all those post about malex interrupted dance and can I just say I'd love if it was alex who interrupts, perhaps michael is dancing with isobel or maria (just as friends) and alex waltzes in loking hot as hell in a suit and makes a move. I dunno, but after this season I kinda want to see alex stake his claim since he wasn't allowed to really show his feeling for Michael.

Mhmm, I’d like that.

Imagine this:

Alex has been single for a while. The breakup with Forrest was amicable, they’re still on good terms. Alex seems to be doing really well, too. Whenever Michael sees him, he has to remind himself that now is not their time and that he still has so much work to do before he can be good for Alex.

Alex, who looks like a goddamn snack whenever they meet. Isobel’s told Michael that Alex is going to the gym now, and it shows. He’s started wearing figure hugging henleys that cling to his muscular torso like they’re painted on.

And Alex’s ass in those black jeans? SHOULD COME WITH A WARNING! They’re at a garden party Isobel’s hosting, and all Michael wants is to touch Alex and check whether his ass is as firm as it looks. He wants to taste, wants to bite. Not now, though, now’s not their time.Michael forces himself to look away and slowly counts to hundred before he allows himself another glance at Alex.

He’s talking to a guy Michael’s seen at Planet 7 a couple of times, and recently at open mic night when Alex performed. A good looking dude (one of Noah’s former associates if he remembers correctly) with piercing blue eyes. And he’s tall. Does Alex like tall men? Michael wonders.

When Alex laughs about something Hightower says, Michael’s heart hurts. He’d always thought he’d be ready should Alex be single again one day, and now it looks like he’s missed yet another opportunity where he could’ve made a move.

He’s been working on himself. With Kyle‘s help, he’s signed up for online counseling (talking to a therapist via Zoom makes him feel like he can be more open, without worrying too hard about revealing the one big secret he can’t talk about. It works for him, and he thinks he’s made progress).

He’s far from being done or “healed”, but he feels less angry these days, less bitter, less inclined to get drunk. He works steady hours at the junkyard, spends time with Max and Isobel, he joins Liz at her lab sometimes, and he’s been helping Kyle to fix his father’s old motorbike on weekends.

He’s also spent time with Alex since the breakup with Forrest. He’d been reluctant at first, worried he'd accidentally overstep boundaries, but Alex had been quick to assure him that he wants Michael in his life.

So they’ve been hanging out. Meeting for coffee at the Crashdown during Michael’s lunch break a couple of times, last week he’d accompanied Alex when he drove up to the reservation to visit Greg, they even went hiking once.

They’ve avoided touching some of the heavier topics, but it’s okay, slowly becoming friends with Alex has been amazing, and Michael‘s fallen in love with him all over again.

He allows himself another glance at Alex, and when he sees that the tall guy’s put his hand on Alex’s shoulder, his face falls and he turns around. He walks up to the house in long strides and hides in Isobel’s guest bathroom for ten minutes before he feels like he can face the outside world and seeing Alex with another man again.

He splashes his face with cold water and walks back outside. There’s music playing from invisible speakers, and people have started dancing. It’s a real effort for Michael to stop himself from searching for Alex (or rather his tall new boyfriend), and he sighs in relief when he spots Isobel.

“I would like to dance with my favorite sister, I hope Gregory hasn’t blocked every slot on your dance card yet.”

Isobel laughs.

“No matter how full my dance card is, MIchael, I’ll always take the time to dance with you. Lead the way, brother dearest.”

He takes her hand and leads her over to the designated dance area. Michael twirls Isobel around and starts dancing with her. She’s wearing flat sandals tonight (”high heels and a garden party don’t mix well”), which means she’s only slightly taller than him. It’s fun dancing with her.

Out of the corner of his eyes, MIchael spots a familiar face over by the DJ’s table. Alex is leaning over to say something to the DJ who nods and starts clicking around on his laptop. When he’s found what he’s looking for, he nods and gives Alex a thumbs up.

Once the song is over, a new song starts playing. Michael’s not familiar with it. So far no one’s singing and he wonders if it’s an instrumental piece, but he keeps dancing with Isobel.

When the singer starts singing, Michael freezes mid dance. That’s Alex’s voice! That’s Alex singing, a song about being happy and in love and-- Michael feels tears well up in his eyes. He does his best to lead Isobel amid the chaos in his head, when he feels a strong hand drop on his shoulder.

He doesn’t need to turn around to know who it is.

“Isobel, I’m so sorry, but may I?”

Michael is confused when Isobel let’s go of his hands, kisses him on the cheek and whispers “I love you, Michael.” Then he feels Alex step into her place, pulling him close and leading him to the sound of his song.

There’s too much chaos in Michael’s head, but instead of fighting for clarity, he just gives in and listens to the music. It’s a beautiful song about love and being happy, about building a home and being a family, and MIchael can’t believe he’s dancing with Alex, the man of his dreams.

When the song ends, people start clapping and they try to approach Alex, but Alex has other plans. He takes Michael’s hand and leads him over to a darker, quiet corner of the garden. They sit down on a wooden bench, the clear New Mexico night sky above them.

“I really like your new song, Alex,” Michael says, not sure what else to say or do.

“Thanks, Michael, I’m glad you like it. I wrote it for someone very special.”

“Hightower is a very lucky man, I hope you’ll be happy together.” How he’s been able to force this sentence out without bursting into tears is beyond Michael.

Alex looks at him, confusion written all over his face.

“Who is Hightower, and what makes you think I’d be happy with them?”

Michael makes a gesture to implicate a tall person. “You know, tall, blond, blue eyes? I‘ve seen you together a couple of times. I hope he treats you well.”

Alex looks at him like he’s gone mad.

“You mean Sven? Lawyer Sven, who is married to the DJ and has helped me to arrange for my song being played tonight, that Sven?”

Michael is confused.

“You’re dating a married man, and his husband is okay with that?”

Alex bursts out laughing.

“Oh my god, Michael, what are you even talking about? I’m not dating Sven - or anyone else for that matter. And I wrote this song for you. Us! To ask you whether you feel ready to meet somewhere in the middle and take it from there?”

Michael swallows around the lump in his throat and all he can do is nod. When he feels Alex’s hands cupping his face he closes his eyes and lets Alex lead the way. Alex pulls his face closer until their foreheads touch. Then he hears Alex whisper: “I know we need to talk but I really miss kissing you, can I kiss you?”

“Yes,” is all manages to croak out, then he feels Alex’s mouth on his and suddenly the chaos in his head quiets, all the stars in the universe align, and Michael is finally home.

#malex #alex manes #michael guerin #malex fic #rnm fic #i have no idea where this came from #instead of going to bed like a normal person #i wrote this #it's past midnight and i have no idea whether any of this makes sense #anyway alex and michael dancing #this is not beta read obviously #nonnie asks #my fic

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