#i've never done a director's cut before but this was very fun!

[onadarklingplain]

I would kill for a hairpin turns director’s cut or Alex POV in his amnesiac fugue when he thinks he’s woken up to a universe where he’s dating George 👀👀👀

i love alex in this fic so much, so thank you for asking about him! i did the scene in the car below the cut

Before they’ve even pulled out of the car park, though, Alex immediately starts asking him about the season. Whatever they had given him for the pain seemed to have kicked in because he’s gotten looser, easy to laugh or complain. And for the first time since Alex crashed, George starts to feel better too, like everything might be okay.

In this scene, up until the kiss, I wanted Alex to be trying very hard to Keep It Together. He’s feeling vulnerable (which he hates), he’s worried about his season, and he doesn’t understand where things are with George. He was very happy to see “boyfriend” George in the hospital (because they’re in LOVE), but he’s also worried that he may have shown his hand more than he should have and is therefore Acting Normal.

And anyways, as we know, the best way to deal with your emotional vulnerability is to just pretend it doesn’t exist! If you just bury it, it won’t come back, and nothing will go wrong <3 

When he tells Alex about his season so far, George has to stop himself from looking over constantly at the crazy, competitive glint in his eye. They’d put his arm in a sling, and he was supposed to keep it as still as possible until they scheduled the surgery, but he keeps forgetting and making little half-gestures with his hands. This is Alex “the first thing I did when I woke up from the coma was ask about the race results” Albon. Unfortunately, none of these men are sane.

Then, Alex says, “So what happened here, then? How did we get together?” 

Ultimately Alex was always going to ask, once they’d run through the ice breaker conversation topics, but he’s trying to play it as cool as he can. Like, no he’s not freaking out! No one should worry about him. He is feeling So Normal.

George should have expected that, but he doesn’t have an answer prepared. He’s not a psychopath. He wasn’t ever going to actually lie to Alex. He was going to say, as soon as he could, funny story, mate.

George rationalising the whole situation in his head, even though he could have said that sooo many times already. But he likes being Alex’s centre of attention and likes the fact that Alex believes it’s real, like George is someone he would actually date.

Instead, his stupid panic brain comes swinging back in full force. He hears himself splutter, “Alex, I think you should be remembering this stuff on your own. The doctor—“

A ridiculous thing to say when George has spent the last fifteen minutes giving Alex a play-by-play breakdown of what went wrong with Charles’ pit stop in the last race. 

Charles’ pit stop in Monaco really did go wrong in 2017, poor boy. The curse is real. Sometimes the truth is even better than fiction.

Alex seems to think so too, because he just says, “Oh, come on, George. You aren’t embarrassed, are you? Wait, you didn’t make some kind of horrible grand gesture?“ 

George clenches his jaw. He’s resolutely not looking at Alex now, staring straight ahead at the road. He doesn’t know what to do. Alex is still talking.

“It’s just like, first of all I thought you were straight. So I just feel like I must have forgotten an eventful few months. Or is it a like, straight except for me thing? Because if so, I’m very flattered George.”

This is maybe my favourite part. Again, it’s Alex trying very hard to play it cool and unaffected, but he isn’t getting what he needs from George, so he’s going to keep pushing it. He wants desperately to understand what’s changed in the last few months and where things stand with them (just fucking? in a real relationship? confessed to feelings?) because he can't reconcile what he thinks they have now to where he thinks George was at before.

George is starting to feel a bit trapped, like Alex has pinned him down. This isn’t how things were supposed to go. He doesn’t have an answer to the question. He just knows— it isn’t something he thought that much about but… maybe? Maybe he had thought about Alex that way once or twice. It was an easy mistake to make. Alex was his best friend, and when Alex smiled at George, it always made him feel like his chest was going to like, explode.

George realising that he’s already waited too long, whoops.. And why did he wait too long? Could it be because he’s in love with Alex? No, surely not. They have a normal friend relationship! And if he wants to kiss Alex, that’s like whatever.But seeing Alex hurt really shook George, to where he maybe starts thinking about this stuff in a way he hadn’t before. Like, wow I just had a very not normal reaction to seeing my friend fall off a bike. Wonder why….

He doesn’t think he can have this conversation while he’s driving after all. They’re almost back at Alex’s flat— there won’t be enough time. He can explain properly if he can just put Alex off for a few more minutes. 

He doesn’t answer the question. He just says, “You should always be flattered.”

Alex laughs and then cuts himself off with a wince. “Ow, fuck. Note to self, don’t laugh. Jesus.”

It’ll be obvious that they aren’t dating when they get to Alex’s flat, George thinks. Alex will notice that there aren’t any photos of George anywhere, or he’ll eventually pick up his phone and see that all their texts are about normal things and that they never talk about like, who’s buying the condoms. It’ll be easy to bring it up.

Of course, when they get there, it isn’t obvious at all. Because they’re in LOVE! But it was a nice thought, George. 

That’s the end of the scene in the car, but related to the above commentary, I’ll just add that when they get to the flat, it was important for me that Alex makes his move on George right after George notices that he isn’t okay after all. Alex tries to cover his vulnerability by acting super confident and distracting George with his sexual wiles. Because obvs the best thing to do when you’re feeling out of control is to go in hot and grab someone’s dick (hashtag relatable). 

[no-name-publishing]

Kill the Director by erikschampion

My part in a gift exchange taking place in Renegade's California satellite server. This was a lot of fun and very experimental for me. My idea was to pursue something a little grunge, a little smudged, to go along with the early 2000s Brit punk vibe that the fic gets its title from. Spray paint, screen printing, some blood, some tears, and it's to its new home. Glamour and process shots under the cut!

The yellow base is a plain linen bookcloth that's been coated with acrylic. The pink accent color is a combo of spray paint and smudges of pink Golden Fluid acrylic paint. The endbands are sewn with Gutermann polyester florescent sewing thread, and the endpages are my attempt at an italian vein marble with pink, yellow, and black paint.

Some shots of the typesetting, and a video showing the book as a whole. The fic has some exposition written in a script format, so I typeset that to reflect. And it's always fun to include text message bubbles and emails and stuff.

The graphics on the case were done with screens and waterbased screen printing ink! I went through a few iterations and even tried to set my kitchen on fire in order to get it right before settling on the screens. I'm very very pleased with the result. (The fire was from my DIY attempt at making my own gelli plate with gelatin, glycerin, and rubbing alcohol. All the instructions were telling me to be careful about how many bubbles I was stirring into the mix but I was like, it'll be fine. I'll use my heatgun or a lighter to pop whatever bubbles are there. It works with resin so it should here. Yall alcohol is flammable lmao. Why did I do that. I put my lighter up to those bubbles and lost my vision for a moment at the flash of light. I've never done something that stupid)

The freshly marbled paper hanging up to dry in my kitchen; the screen for the front of the case; my practice piece including the spine design; the case drying on my shower rod (along with some pieces of fabric for another project lol). I have fewer process pictures than I thought lol.

The graphics on the front and back were also partially designed by hand. I printed images of the characters then cut them vertically, and alternated the slices. Copied that, then did the same horizontally. Scanned that, and then did some cleaning up digitally on my computer. Here's some shots of the steps and the pieces themselves.

The third picture shows my first attempt, as I actually did this process twice. The first time I didn't feel like the first pass was pixelated enough, so I cut it again both vertically and horizontally and alternated them once more. This was a mess, and ultimately I didn't like the finished result. Round two (second image) was the final round, and what wound up using in the project instead.

Thanks for looking!

[bidonica]

Hey! I see you're into fragile/higgs ship and caught myself quite like them too recently (tho i've been in DS fandom already for a year and mostly thought about them as a friends)

Just wondering why do you like them? Do you have any headcanons/interesting thoughts? I'm very curious 👀

Hi! First of all apologies for the wall of text you're about to get, but unfortunately you came knocking at my door after I spent nearly two months ruminating about this ship basically by myself sooo I'm dumping it all here

Well the short (lol) version is that in my first playthrough I mostly just absorbed the characters and storyline, but by the time I got to their final scene on the Beach I was like wait a minute... their whole shared storyline feels way too loaded for them to simply have been business associates, that shit is personal, even Higgs wanting to damage Fragile feels way too pointed to just be justified by "he was a turncloak with a secret agenda." Now, I'm not against a "they were simply close friends" interpretation, it works just as well to explain the emotional weight of their falling out, BUT I also cannot ignore the zest, the flavor, the spice of them actually having been involved romantically at some point. And honestly going into my second playthrough with the shipping goggles on I can't help thinking that Fragile speaks about Higgs like he was an ex that hurt her, and the way that she is suspiciously cagey about the specifics of their relationship makes my ears shoot up like a German shepherd.

On a Doylist level I also find it interesting that Kojima gave Higgs extra backstory that connects him to Fragile in the Director's Cut, and also how the behind the scenes for the DS2 mocap show Troy and Léa sharing a scene... I think Kojima is not done intertwining their story and we'll get more info in the sequel.

Now for the headcanons... I have enough that I might or might not be writing a long-ish fic about it, but I want to finish this Director's Cut playthrough before completing it (I could just look stuff up on the wiki but that's not fun). Also I have some art in the pipeline about it that I hope to post within the week. Anyway, the bite sized version of how I envision their relationship:

I hc Higgs as being immediately attracted to Fragile but not really acting on it, while she develops her attraction after getting to know him a little. Then she's down bad but she doesn't even realize it until it's so obvious it hits her in the face

A few people at their joint Fragile Express/whatever Higgs' operation was called co-op assume they are an item long before anything ever happens, because they just hang out together a lot. They have a similar penchant for corny jokes and puns and enjoy some light banter; Fragile finds Higgs' flair for theatrics endearing, while he is drawn to how gentle she is because he has known so little softness in his life (also he thinks she's insanely pretty, which duh. It's self evident because Léa Seydoux) (it's his first serious girl crush anyway; I hc him as bi and as having had mostly experiences with men before her)

They bond over their DOOMS condition and Higgs is fascinated by Fragile's powers, while she is less enthused by all the collateral effects. In my hc, at this point she has yet to become as skilled at traveling through dimensions as she is in the game, which makes her reluctant to agree to Higgs' requests to show him the Beach. This sows the seeds of his resentment towards her, because he feels she has a privilege she doesn't make use of and doesn't want to share.

They are both pretty touchy feely (canon!) so when their relationship goes from friendly to romantic it gets physical immediately and enthusiastically. Yes even accounting for the worldwide lowered sex drive. If there's one thing I never do is put characters in horny jail 🫡

 I think Fragile got to know a version of Higgs that was quite different from what we see in the game, which you sort of can gauge from the more optimistic pages of his diary. Like there's a part of him who's starved for love and connection and a sense of belonging and gravitates towards people like Coffin (he never had a mother) and Fragile herself; ironically, the pull towards Amelie answers to the same need but in reality it feeds on his more nihilistic, call-of-the-void side. I'm not saying that Amelie brainwashed him or anything, but I think she saw what was already there – a  deep seated resentment towards a hostile world and towards those he feels got handed a luckier deal than he did, that he countered by clinging to the notion of being special because of his DOOMS, but then there's someone like Fragile who's even more special and doesn't seem to be doing much with it. Amelie gave him a chance to fulfill what he felt was his potential and shared her power with him, but the tradeoff was severing  the connections he had, "killing" the part of him that wanted to be loved to make space for what he perceived as a higher form of love ("I found someone who completes me" which he says to Fragile specifically like he wants to rub it in her face? Like she wasn’t  enough to fulfill that role?)

That’s why I think it’s significant that he lost his hands with his power-up, because the (holding, welcoming) hands are strongly associated with Fragile; and to me it makes sense if he purposely ruins her body also because it’s a way to stifle his attraction to her. There’s also a lot of projection because HE is the one who’s felt like damaged goods all along, who grew up being  crushed psychologically and physically. I also think that both of them coming close to annihilating the other but choosing not to – leaving them in a dicey situation but not entirely without escape – shows in some twisted way that their bond still exists, which makes me giggle and rub my hands like a nasty little goblin knowing we have another game coming.

So… That’s the gist of it. Sorry for rambling on but as I said, I don’t really get the chance to talk about this ship much – greetings from rarepair hell, etc.

[wanderingblindly]

PLEASE give me rules of engagement director’s cut. i need it biblically

AAAAAH thank you!!!! I haven't gotten to talk about this fic before, I think, so let us commence the info dump <33333

The Origins

I've always been a fake dating trope fan, but I've never had an idea that made it feel like my story, you know? But I've always wanted to try!

While I was procrastinating on cleaning my apartment, I randomly thought of this dialogue, directly copied from my planning document:

“If we do this, we need to make some rules” “Max we live together, I’m sure it’ll be fine” “WE NEED RULES CHARLES”

My brain immediately latched on to it, and the fic was born like... two hours later hahah

My Favorite Bits

Ok so this is one of my favorite lines for the DUMBEST reason:

“Are women not…? Is it these women, or?” His voice sounded tight. They hadn’t discussed Max’s sexuality before. Actually, if Max thought about it, they never really discussed Charles’s, either. He was pretty sure Charles stayed the night at a few different women's’ flats during uni, but that was little more than speculation.  ... “That’s fine, of course. Anything is. Fine, I mean.” Charles stuttered, his cheeks still slightly pink.  “Doesn’t solve the problem though, does it?”

Was it vaguely inspired by BBC's Sherlock? Yes it was. Would anyone have noticed if I didn't confess to my sins? No.

More seriously, I also really enjoyed this little scene:

They always ate breakfast together.  Max always woke up first to get started on washing the fruit, and Charles always stumbled out of his bedroom in a state of total disarray about fifteen minutes later – hair sticking up, sweatshirt off one shoulder, pajama pants low across his hips, glasses nearly askew. They would eat breakfast together, Max happily talking about his to-dos and Charles diligently humming and nodding along as necessary. They’d get dressed, they’d walk out the door together. Max always locked it, Charles always lost his keys in the depths of his bag before he left the house.   It was easy and understandable. It was theirs. 

While the rest of the story, up until this point, has hinted at the routines baked into this domesticity, I loved how this scene used that to highlight why Max found the situation so alarming. They have a distinct rhythm -- an easy cadence that I tried to mimic in the very basic structure of the paragraph -- that's so noticeable when it's disturbed.

It also shows how much Max notices about Charles, even before he realizes why. To know someone well enough that even the slightest change in timing throws a red flag is just hmmmm I love it lol

And finally, one of my last favorite scenes:

“You’re still wearing your ring,” Max pointed out rather unhelpfully. Charles let out a bleak laugh, devoid of his usual eye-crinkling warmth.  “You picked it out for me,” He shrugged, leaving something unspoken in the air. Max didn’t do well with unspoken, with reading between the lines. He tried to breathe it into his lungs, find the meaning Charles left out. Speak it. 

The confession was just so full of "Max is trying his best and he doesn't entirely understand what he's done wrong but he'll do absolutely anything for him and Charles to just go back to the way it was before please please please". This line in particular highlights how much of this is Max desperately trying to understand what Charles really needs from him -- even though the answer ends up being nothing he expected.

Random Fun Lore

As always, this fic is full of random things from my actual life (for no real reason other than I'm unoriginal and boring). Some examples are:

Max's MD's summer party in the countryside: YES I have to go to this every year, YES I do get splashed by my coworkers, and YES there is far too much alcohol lol (although I do not partake like Max did but hey)

Full Recovery Mode: the very specific mug and the very specific tea that Max puts together for Charles is absolutely based on my real life (liter sized Japanese mug my beloved)

[cosgestalt]

creator commentary

a bit like a director's cut for a film, I will be going over the first four pages of Gestalt. If I left out anything that you would like to know more about, do not be afraid of the askbox!

I wasn't sure whether to call this an artist's exploration or a peek into the writing or what, so I figured "creator" is broad enough :)

and now, some notes that aren't specific to one page:

I did a lot of things I've never done before already working on this comic. I've fully rendered linework, I drew pine trees (and got sick of drawing pine trees), and I worked in a limited color palette! Each color is taken from colors of the first page with the exception of the gold which shows up increasingly over the following pages. (There is also the exception of the faaaaaint reds underneath the fingerprints in the second page and in the well in the third.) They look very nice in the first full illustration, but quickly become dull to the senses. How very Barovian! These will not be the only colors used forever, so do not worry. The palette will change for each scene, and shift gradually for other situations.

What else to say? Every choice is intentional, so if it seems like there is a discrepancy between the module and Gestalt, know that it is on purpose. Most everything sticks very close to the module, so the differences that are there were very thought out and done for a reason that will become apparent later in the exploration of the abbot's story. The only choice that was made without a deep reason is the removal of the abbot's hat. I just didn't like it.

as a fun extra, here is what I would say the theme of the prologue is: How Long by Julia Holter

though I do like how the live version droops and drags. it feels even more like someone not fitting in quite right:

for those who have read this far, i have some secret extra news for you:

we are making the backend of the site compatible with gifs. i will keep quiet about specific plans, but now moving elements are a possibility within pages!

i am considering the possibility of letting people submit work to be displayed in the sidebars next to the news on the homepage. i would love to promote work by the curse of strahd community. there are so many amazing artists and writers! i need to think more on the logistics of this, but it could be fun.

i got a new monitor from my parents for the holidays, so recording my workflow is now a possibility. if i find myself with the extra time to edit videos together, i may do more commentary in those, but for the time being i will stick to just writing posts.

i have plans for other videos. keep an eye out for two treats in the future! one for me and one for you :)

that's all I can think of for now! there will be no more updates this year, so I will see you again in 2024!

[thelaurenshippen]

Finally listed to Rebel Robin (the Audio show, not the book) and honestly it was not what I was expecting, I guess more in-line with the actual Stranger Things tv show. But of course that wouldn’t make sense.

Anyways, when listening to it I honestly find it really poetic, I don’t know if the subjects it tackles relates to the current climate but I find it now more important than ever.

One question I have is how do you direct Actors (those who act on screen or a visual medium) to perform for audio?

OH HI I CAN FINALLY ANSWER THIS QUESTION I'M SO EXCITED

(the SAG strike is over!! while podcasts were never struck work, bc Surviving Hawkins is a Netflix/Stranger Things show, I was considering anything related to it to be struck, so haven't wanted to post or promote it in any way! but we're finally done!)

I'm really glad you listened to the show and that it surprised you and felt relevant - it was a careful balance of making the show feel like it fits into the ST universe while also understanding that it takes place well before Robin knows anything about the Upside Down, so the story is going to be very different from any other ST story.

in terms of directing screen actors in audio...so many of the principles are the same! most of the actors I work with are TV/film actors not voiceover artists (though of course screen actors do VO and VO actors do screen, there are differences when it comes to those career paths).

(this got so long, putting it under the cut)

the thing that is hardest about screen acting in my opinion is the fact that you have to hold a million details/tasks in your head at once while also acting. stage acting is similar - you have to remember your blocking, make sure to project and be turned out to the audience, etc., but usually when you're acting on stage, you're doing the same show over and over again. for film - and especially TV - actors every day brings new scenes, new blocking, new physical actions. you have to hit your mark exactly, make sure you're in your light, find your eyeline, work with props, and memorize lines that you've sometimes been given that day. and then you have to make sure to give an emotional performance on top of that.

plus, in a show like ST, you're often interacting with things that are not there (every time I watch the demobat fight in the most recent season I'm so curious how they did it/what was providing the tension for them to pull on the bats, hit them, etc.). a lot of the actors I work with come from genre stuff, where a lot of their work is imagining that the green box they're in is actually a spaceship and the green stick they're holding is actually a magical staff or whatever. which adds another layer to the work.

which is all to say--audio is the opposite of that. you don't memorize your lines, you just have to make sure you're speaking into the mic, and that's it. but you also are only using your imagination to conjure up the setting and the actions your character is taking. so a lot of my work as a director is making sure the actors feel free to experiment, make mistakes, and be physical, even if we can't see it. oftentimes, a screen actor will come into a recording feeling like they have to do a particular thing, treat voiceover differently. my job is often just to remind them to treat it like anything else.

pretty much every actor I've ever worked with has commented on just how fun it is to focus on only the acting and nothing else. there's of course so much fun to be had running around and fighting monsters, but I find that voice acting provides a nice bit of variety. with Maya - and with the nature of the SH scripts - it was just about creating an atmosphere that felt conducive to natural conversation. because of ST filming scheduling, we actually didn't get to record her and Sean together at all, which was a bummer, but we still had someone reading the other characters' lines so it would feel like two people having a conversation.

in terms of specific direction, I'm usually focused on finding different shades of emotion from take to take - let's do this one angrier, let's do this one where you're scared and trying not to show it, etc. the only time I ever really have to voice direct is if something is getting mumbled or mispronounced or if I need something physical - the character running, smiling, etc. in those instances, I'll just tell the actor exactly what I need and we'll just pick up that individual line.

I hope this answers your question! especially since I wrote such a massive answer, lol. but the long and short of it is that directing is the same across mediums in many ways: you're focused on story, emotion, and chemistry and the lovely thing about podcasts is that you get to focus on those things and those things alone.

[holidayvisa]

22 January 2024 - TLDR: Arnie and I were extras in a New Zealand tv show

Some background - yesterday and two days ago, Arnie had gotten calls and text messages from the casting manager for a film production with details about him being an extra. He needed to be at the set by 11 am today.

Arnie got a call from the casting manager around 9:15 am today asking if Arnie could bring other people to be extras, since he'd mentioned that he knew people on his phone calls with her yesterday/two days ago. Arnie told me about it, and I obviously accepted! So from 9:15 until 10:30 am, Arnie and I were scrambling to clothe me with a suit, slacks, tie and shoes 🤦. Miraculously, Arnie had a button-down shirt, slacks, suit jacket, tie, and shoes in my size! We left the house at 10:30 and walked the 30-minute trek to Henderson.

When we showed up at 11 am, they had us go to "hair and makeup," which was outside in the parking lot in the oppressive heat. Lucky for us, Arnie and I are both so naturally pretty that we didn't get our hair done or makeup done. It was HOT. It was around 30°C. At noon, the costume person told me I was okay to not wear the suit jacket, which I was very happy about, but Arnie had to wear his suit jacket, which he WAS happy about 😎. We had to take COVID tests (no COVID, all good there). Just before 1 pm, we were served breakfast, a tasty breakfast burrito. Then, we were ushered onto the set, indoors in the air con.

We were on set for about an hour as people in the courtroom waiting for their cases to come up later. They had the person with the clapperboard who claps the thing and says, "scene 2 take 3." There were times where the boom camera was just a couple centimeters over my head. It was cool! Then they were done with us for a couple hours. Then we got called back in around 3 pm for another hour. Then at 4 pm, we had lunch. Then more waiting. Then around 6:30 pm, we got called in for the final scene. It was really funny! It was hard to not laugh. At one point, the director came up to us extras and said, "I need less from you all. You're laughing too hard during these scenes. I need less." I thought that was funny too. Then they were done with us for a bit. Around 8 pm, we got called back in for some extras reactions. The director said, "rolling," then asked us to give him just a regular zero, looking around, kinda bored. Then he asked us for a 3/10 that-was-mildly-funny reaction, then a 7/10 that-was-pretty-funny reaction, then a 10/10 that-was-hilarious reaction, then a what-the-heck kinda-confused reaction, then a disgusted-and-offended reaction. Then the director said, "cut!" And we were done. We got to take photos with some of the actors. They fed us some nachos, then at 8:30 pm, they released us. Holy moley - we were there from 11 am until 8:30 pm - almost 10 hours! Arnie and I walked home and walked into our home right at 9 pm.

The show is called Vince, with a main actor named Jono, and in this episode, one of the other actors was Josh. https://www.nzherald.co.nz/entertainment/spy-jono-and-bens-tv-break-up/UOPUCGEJ4RG4NAD3IOHHWXCWMQ/ https://www.nzonair.govt.nz/news/jonos-back-on-screen-and-so-are-n00bs/

I'm grateful to Arnie for bringing me along to this extra thing. It was a cool thing to do. I've never been an extra before, and it was fun to try. I'm excited to hopefully see this episode someday!

[fezwearingjellybananas]

Director’s cut for the Speedster Siblings series? 👀

I did have fun writing Speedster Siblings, I think that's why it so very quickly went from a single fic to get the idea out to "oh no I've written another one". As I said in the opening note, it happened because I was reading your excellent reaching up to touch the sky (this is a fic rec for everyone else) while writing Gone in a Flash and a brief "this would be so different if Barry had a Morgan" thought (which was only added to by those other conversations we had post posting Gone in a Flash). And I couldn't add a Jesse to that fic because, much as Gone in a Flash Barry absolutely needed to not be so alone, I think things only went that way for him because he was alone.

Although it has the same set up of Eobard adopting Barry (this time alongside Wally, and with Jesse already adopted by the real Harrison Wells before Eobard killed him), there weren't actually any points in writing where the thought process was how would Gone in a Flash change if Barry wasn't alone, I think that's an entirely different story, and I think that's influenced by Eobard in Speedster Siblings when Jesse, Wally, and Barry are young he actually bothers to act the part of a good father.

He isn't one, of course, because good fathers don't make plans to betray their children, but he acts the part. I think Eobard Thawne wants love, and in Speedster Siblings, at the start, he actually has it, but he's so convinced he can never keep it he throws it away and then the rest is him realising no what he had before was better and wanting it back, but even right to the end he doesn't want to acknowledge it was his fault, he doesn't regret what he's done, just regrets what he's lost.

I think throughout the entire series, Eobard is acting a part when it comes to being a father, he's not really thinking of anyone other than himself, which is why there's so much almost missing? There's a handful of points of view from Barry and Jesse (the Crisis fic was actually meant to open with Wally's, but when I sat down to write it felt better ending with Barry, and Wally got most of it off his chest yelling at Eobard earlier on), but pretty much everything that isn't about Eobard Thawne is glossed over. Joe dies in this series and it's a fleeting mention because why would Eobard care about that, he's Wally's dad. Series 2 and series 3 are completely different in this series, there's no Singularity at the end of s1 because the trio just send Eobard home, Hunter Zoloman is the FBI agent from Earth-1 sent to investigate Harrison Wells' disappearance who ends up giving himself powers and becoming Zoom to push Wally to being a better hero (possibly still briefly kidnapping Jesse and definitely still breaking Barry's back to motivate Wally) because Wally deserves better than being in the shadow as Kid Flash instead of equally the Flash (ignoring Barry doesn't think of Wally and Jesse as his sidekicks, just his little siblings he's always going to protect, and both Wally and Jesse think of themselves as Barry's sidekicks because he's their big brother and they love him, Jesse just goes by Jesse Quick because she's not being Flash Girl or something). Barry travels to Earth-2 still, only it's just the one with the real Jay Garrick, the one the show called Earth-3, there's no Earth-2 as the show had it, there's no Harry because Jesse's on Earth-1 and I do not think it is possible to have Harry and not have him as her father, especially in s2 being Jesse's father so important to his character

And series 3, Savitar closer to the comic one, he's not a Barry, he's Jesse's villain like Eobard was Barry's and Zoom was Wally's, this is where Jesse finds out about her parents being Johnny Quick and Liberty Bell, Jesse might even start going by Liberty Bell (it's a little more of a secret identity than Jesse Quick, and there is a slightly bitter taste left by the first person to call her Jesse Quick was Eobard), Wally might become the Flash instead of Kid Flash, but Eobard wasn't there, barring his brief jaunts back to start weaseling his way back into their lives by acting as a "guardian angel" on occasions, so none of this came up (and those trips back are what first clock the Renegades onto him)

There is just so much extra that did not make it into this series because Eobard Thawne is a self-centered prick, but it also means Eobard's entire story ends up being this tiny snapshot in Barry, Wally, and Jesse's lives, there's so much other than him in there, and that's good for them in the long run. They're always going to have conflicted feelings about him because he was their dad and they did love him and part of them did want him to mean it, they did want to be able to love him again, but Eobard ruined the chances of that the night he put that yellow suit back on in the very first fic.

Thank you!

[Ask]

[lilyrizzy]

in that iron gate made me so emotional it was such a roller coaster of a ride and i loved every second of reading this fic. one thing i really wanted to ask if you could provide like a directors cut or more insight on what happened is when max and daniel have sex and max asks daniel to say something nice.. just what was max truly feeling or thinking at this time? has he been doubting his relationship with daniel this whole trip?

anon this is a lovely ask! i've never done a 'directors cut' so you'll have to be patient with me and appologies in advance that this is too long, i just couldnt figure out what to cut and still have it make sense? (also i was enjoying myself lol)

also i talked about both max and daniel’s feelings in this to make it make sense, but i hope it answers your questions. if not, feel free to send me another ask or dm, this was so fun for me to get to waffle on about the fic i’m most proud of!<3

“I just want you,” Max says, desperate and it sends a jolt of arousal straight through Daniel. <okay so this is max both being honest on the surface, but also like, honest in a deeper way too. he just wants daniel, because thats always been what he wants, but also he wants to make daniel happy & now he's struggling to do that bc daniel is going through something that max can't really help him with> He wants to palm himself through his shorts, wants to push Max to his knees and feed him his cock, wants to fuck him so hard he feels Daniel for days. But-

“You’re gonna’ have to choose then baby.” <daniel here still isn't sure what he's allowed to have, feeling very out of control of his emotions as he does. like he wants max to chose so he can be sure max *wants* this, you know?>

“Choose?” Max sounds a little confused.

Daniel never makes him choose, the point of this is normally to stop Max from thinking. <this was to tell the reader that they have had sex with this dynamic before, but it's usually because it's what max wants because he craves the shame/humiliation and then daniel making him feel loved after. and daniel has learnt to do that for him in a safe way, but this is the first time daniel is initiating sex like this, where he's a 'mean' to max>

“Choose where you want me.” Max stays silent except for his ragged breathing. <max wants to chose the right thing, the thing he thinks will give daniel the most pleasure, make him feel the best but hes also out of his depth a little here because usually when hes in this headspace, daniel is in charge more> Daniel watches the rise and fall of his chest, this proof he’s here, alive. <because rn, with his dad dead, this is so important to daniel> “On your face? On your tits? Inside?”

Max’s eyes fly open. “That- Inside,” he pleads, “Please, Daniel. I- I can be good.” <max is both pleading for the sex here, but also pleading for like, 'let me be good, let me make *you* feel good>

Daniel hums like he’s not convinced. He’s desperate to see Max try hard to please him, so Max will know afterwards that Daniel means it when he tells him how good he was. He wants to hear Max say, ‘thank you,’ for letting Max prove himself. <and this is like coming back to the point of like. Daniel knows that this kinda sex is sex that max *needs* from time to time, and he wants to give that to him so badly. because to daniel that will be proof that he can still offer max something. when recently, hes been feeling like he has nothing to give bc he's been going through it himself, snapping at max, not being a good partner in his grief. max has a more simplistic view of like, daniel likes when we do this, i can give this to him, it will make him feel strong again>

“Get on the bed,” he says, because he can’t explain this without sounding like a possessive freak. 

Max goes like his strings have been cut, folding himself down so he’s lying on his back, all soft pink skin spread against crisp white sheets. <and this is max's relief because he was worried daniel wouldnt want this, which ofc would be fine, but this way max knows he can make daniel feel good. and also, obvs its max's desire>

“No,” Daniel says, “Facedown.”

A little frown appears on Max’s forehead, but he goes, rolls over onto his stomach. <max here is like, a little surprised bascially bc i always headcannon that daniel likes to have face to face sex more. likes to kiss max, etc so max is a little surprise he doesnt wanna do that. daniel on the other hand is like, im gonna make this sex very intense and more of the things max likes so i can prove to myself that i still got it> Daniel looks then for a moment, the hard muscles of his back, his thighs, and how they meet in the middle at the soft curve of his arse. His cheek pressed against the pillow where he’s still trying to face Daniel, to see him <max wants to see daniel, to know that he's okay>. The stubble there that’s been growing steadily for the last few days, because he forgot his razor and for some reason won’t ask Daniel to borrow his, like he’d afraid that asking Daniel for anything will tip him over the edge <nope daniel, max has just been too busy worrying about you to remember to shave>.

“Daniel?” Max asks. <checking in. wants daniel to know that its okay if he changed his mind, that hes too sad to do this>

Daniel ignores him. <and daniel finds that hard, bc normally he's the one checking in, max is the one needing more like, tender love. daniel doesnt want the reminder that he's fragile> Instead, he steps into the ensuite and rummages in his toiletries bag until he finds their lube. He doesn’t know if Max packed it expecting this, or if it was just there still from their time in Miami. He hopes it’s the first option, that Max knew he’d be strong enough to do this and give them what they both need.

He can still do this. He’s still the same person he was 5 days ago. Before.

“Be still,” he says when he’s kneeling on the bed between Max’s spread legs, that he parted so easily for Daniel with just a tap on his calf, “Be good, be still and I’ll give you my fingers.”

“Okay,” is all Max says, voice cracking.

He dribbles some lube onto the tips of his fingers. It’s cold like he’d hoped it would be. Using the tip of his index, he presses gently onto the back of Max’s neck. Max jerks a little underneath him, not expecting Daniel to start there.

“Max,” he warns, and when he’s sure he won’t move again, he starts to trail his finger slowly down the curve of his spine.

He knows he’s giving Max an almost impossible task. His back is too ticklish, he hates being touched lightly there. He’s being mean and it feels good to feel like, finally, this way he’s allowed to be because Max might like it <and max *does* like it. he likes being given this task, daniel asking him 'do this for me' because max and do it and be sure that he helped, he did something to make daniel happy when hes been so unhappy>.

Max whimpers underneath him when instead of dipping into Max’s crack, he trails the finger back up. Daniel can feel his muscles vibrating underneath him, see’s Max’s arms that his head is pillowed in start to shake, and it’s good to feel him alive under Daniel’s hands <again, daniels new fear of mortality creeping in>.

“How bad do you want it?” Daniel asks.

“I-“ Max licks his lips, swallows, “A lot.” <So when max says "I-" here, he's going to say something like, 'i only want it if you do,' but then rethinks. because he knows daniel wont want to be babied right now. they know each other pretty well, and max wants to give him this like, feeling of being sexy and in control. he trusts that daniel will stop/max will be able to tell if daniel doesnt *really* want it. 'a lot' is bc its the truth, but also he wants to make daniel feel desired.>

“Yeah,” Daniel laughs, “I can believe that just by looking at you. You better not come until I get my dick inside you. If you make a mess, I won’t be happy.”

Max shakes his head, desperate. “I won’t Daniel. I can- I can be good for you, I promise.” <just generally more of max wanting to be good for daniel to make him feel better, daniel wanting to be good for max, to put him under to also feel better lol. its the theme, sorry if this is repetitive>

Daniel trails his finger down to Max’s hole and just taps against his rim. The last time he touched Max here was in Monaco on Tuesday night. It’s nowhere near the longest they’ve gone without it, 3 days, but it feels like a lifetime. He can tell just from looking that Max is going to be tight, none of the tell-tale redness he usually finds because Daniel is a freak that can’t keep his hands off Max, because Max always wants it too, even when it makes him hurt. <sorry just some insane hc’s about how in my head they have sex constantly lol and they both like, get off so much on like, daniel just coming up behind max in the kitchen to pull his sweats down and fuck him, max barely needing any prep bc they fuck so much>

“You look pretty,” Daniel says, “But you’ll look prettier after, when I’m finished with you,” He says, because it’s true and because he wants to hear Max groan, to feel his hips rabbit against the mattress below him.

He pushes a finger inside, and he’s right, Max is tight. He tells him that too and Max makes another noise, does another thrust into the sheets. He screws his fingers in slowly, relishing every noise he draws from Max’s mouth, every response of his body. He’s pushing a fourth against his rim when Max starts begging.

“Please Daniel- I can’t- Let me- Let me be good, I’ll come, I’ll-” <here max is like, daniel asked me not to come, i want to make him happy, therefore i need to do this. same as before, he wants to be good to daniel, and to achieve that he has to let daniel be in control, so daniel also has to *let* him be good. lil feedback loop here lol>

Daniel pulls his fingers out, watches Max’s hole twitch around nothing, feeling a little mesmerized. Then, he leans over, brings his fingers to Max’s mouth. He presses the tips of them against Max’s lips.

“I’m sticky,” he says, “If you clean me up, I’ll fuck you.”

Max looks up him then, a little crease between his eyebrows. His eyes are wide. For a moment Daniel wonders if he’s pushed it too far, if Max is not going to open his mouth, but then he does, and he’s letting Daniel press his sticky fingers onto Max’s clean tongue. Let’s Daniel watch as he hollows his cheeks around them, sucking them clean too.  Daniel’s dry thumb cradles his jaw, and he can feel the scorching heat radiating from Max’s face like this. He knows how much he is asking of Max, making him suck on his fingers that have just been inside him. < This is like idk the maxiel thesis to me of like, daniel wanting ‘insane’ things and wanting to push (within reason ofc) and max being like so eager to go along with this bc to max, being good for daniel is whats hot. but also, daniel wants to do something new specifically in this moment because he wants to like, effect max even more than usual? like make him feel that good shame a little more, so daniel can know he did a good jobTM of fucking max >

What that fuck are you doing, something in his head yells. But this is the best he’s felt in three days so it’s easier than it should be, to ignore it, to keep pushing. To see what Max will let him do without Daniel having to even ask for permission. <maybe its not healthy here but this is daniel also wanting to feel trusted, because hes been kinda a dick to max up until this point. he wants to prove to himself (in an insane way granted) that max is still here for him, ride or die>

“Good,” Daniel says when Max is finished.

He’s left with Max looking up at him, eyes so wide and blue it makes Daniel’s heart ache to look at him. He wants then to tell Max that he’s beautiful, that Daniel is so fucking lucky he gets to have him like this, but if he does then he knows the charge in the air between them will disappear, and he’ll end up fucking Max slow and sappy the way he knows Max loves too, but not in the same way they both crave this. < again, sorry repeating myself but like. daniel wants tenderness deep down. but he wants to give max what he thinks max wants/needs more, so daniel can feel good about himself and his ability to be a partner again. prove to them both he can still ‘be the man’. yes. its toxic. but its what he feels.>

Still, he can’t quite resist asking Max to roll over. He still wants to see his face, to watch the corners of his eyes get wet as he bites his lip and tries to be good for Daniel. <he needs to see max rn because like. hes emotionally vunerable and wants to put max under, and fuck him till he cries but like, also wants to get to see his face bc theyre in love and hes craving that closeness he doesnt know how to ask for>

“I think you should get me ready too now,” he says, and watches with his heart in his throat as Max snaps to action, pushing himself off the bed, flipping over and reaching for Daniel.

He makes quick work of Daniel’s t-shirt and his sweatpants until Daniel is stood in front of him in just his boxers, Max kneeling on the bed. Then Max ducks down, presses his face to the damp front of Daniel’s underwear where he is straining against the cotton. <this was something for both of them. max loves breathing daniel in, being completely surrounded by daniel and he feels that best when he can smell daniels sweaty crotch, okay? xD overwhelmed by all sensations. but for daniel, max wants it to also come across as like, an act of devotion?>  He stays like that for a few moments, just breathing Daniel in, before opening his mouth around the head and sucking it into his mouth, fabric and all.

Daniel runs a hand through his hair. If Max tried, he’s sure he could make Daniel come, sticky and wet in his underwear, and then if Daniel said that was enough, Max would let it be. Would roll onto his back and will his own hard on away and go to sleep happy without Daniel having touched him, just because he’d know he’d been good for him. <so this is daniel acknowledging the power he has in this moment, because ultimatley he knows when max is in this headspace, max wants to please more than he wants to be pleased>

That’s not what Daniel wants though. Daniel wants to make Max feel good.

He’s the one to push his boxers down, to hold Max back where he goes, open mouthed, trying to take Daniel into his mouth again.

“No,” Daniel says simply when Max looks up at him, confused, lips still making a little o shape. Daniel drags his thumb over Max’s plush bottom lip and says, “I think I need to fuck you now. It’s what you want, right?” <this was me trying to make it obvious that like, max wants this, even if things have been a little ~rough~ until this point, but still make it sexy. This was daniel also looking for that reassurance and consent while trying to be sexy lol.>

Max nods frantically, motion slipping Daniel’s thumb into his mouth to hook over the bottom, perfect line of his teeth. <max genuinley wants it so bad here. its shifted a little. max always wanted the sex, but at the begining the motivation was to make daniel feel good but now the scales have tipped and max wants them both to feel good.>

“On your back then,” Daniel says, and watches as Max scrambles to get there for him. The easy spread of his legs so Daniel can crawl between them makes him want to kiss his way up Max’s body, to start at his toes and end at his tits.<Daniel want to worship max too, to show him that devotion in return. but he’s denying himself that sweetness because he thinks this fraught, ‘mean’ sex will give more to max>

Instead, he just fits himself in the wide space Max has made for him, swiping his fingers behind Max’s balls to find his hole. Lines himself up and pushes inside, sweet and easy.

Max whimpers when he’s all the way inside, eyes screwed shut tight and then suddenly open again, looking at Daniel like there’s something to see there.

“Daniel,” he whines, the way girls used to say “oh god,” when Daniel would fuck them. <lol this was a joke with myself where i was trying to say that max see’s daniel as a sex god:P>

He doesn’t want to hear it suddenly, to think about anything else except the ways he can get Max silent and shaking if he just tries hard enough. <daniel doesnt want the devotion. bc he doesnt feel worthy of it.>

He crushes their mouth together on his next thrust to stop anything else spilling from Max’s, to stop anything from starting to spill from his own. Max tightens around him and Daniel grunts, and then he’s bringing his arms around Daniel, fingertips stroking over his back, gentle like- like he thinks that this is what Daniel needs, to be babied, for Max to be sweet and hold him. <again so. in my head, max maybe doesnt usually do this when they have this kinda sex. so hes trying bc he wants daniel to have something sweet and loving too, but daniel is like, no. i want to make this what you like, this is for you max, not me>

Pulling back, breaking their kiss so he no longer covering Max’s body, he breaks the circle of Max’s arms around him, and takes both his wrists into Daniel’s one hand. The delicate bones push together hard so he can manage it, but Max doesn’t flinch just throws his head back and cries out as Daniel holds them against the headboard, dick dribbling a little more onto himself <max is into this. the wrist grabbing, it’s hot. like he likes daniel being rougher with him, like he says later in the fic, he likes that he can really feel daniel bc of it>.

Daniel angles his body so every thrust gets Max right where it feels good, the best, and then he’s giving up thrusting all together and is instead just rubbing that spot with the head of his cock, over and over, relishing in the way it makes Max’s stomach and cock jump between them and Max’s eyes open again to look at Daniel, startled. <Daniel needs max to come first, again like, playing this game of proving he can still be good to him with himself>

“Daniel,” he says in the same tone again, “you are going to-“ but he breaks off with a pitiful whimper when Daniel reaches down with his free hand to cup Max’s tit. <Max here is trying to warn daniel bc as established 1000 times, he wants to be good for daniel>

“That’s right, Maxy,” he says, pressing his fingertips harder into Max’s wrist, chasing the feeling of his pulse, rapid and strong, “I’m going to make you come, aren’t I?”

And then Max does.

Daniel starts fucking him again for real during, has to fight the urge to let his eyes roll back in his head at the sensation of Max’s hole fluttering around him. Even when he’s finished coming, Max holds himself tight for Daniel, and it’s that, the knowledge that Max is still trying so hard to be good for him even after, that has Daniel tipping over the edge.

“Fuck, Max,” he bites out, pressing against Max’s wrists, somewhere to rest his weight as Daniel comes.

Then it’s over. <then this starts the quick come down for daniel. like reality is flooding back into him in one shocking moment>

Then he has to let go, has to pull out, gentle and slow, before he does something embarrassing like lie completely on top of Max and start crying into his neck. It’s just the comedown, he tells himself, the rush of endorphins Michael is always trying to convince him he can get from running too. <this meant to be the same as like that moment, before waking, when you forget everything fell apart the night before and then you have to remember. like daniel got lost in max and making him feel good, so maxs plan succeeded! but now he has to face it all again. and he still thinks he’s not allowed the tenderness max has been trying to give him, bc it makes him ‘weak’.>

He rolls onto his back, next to Max so their shoulders are brushing. He needs to move soon, to get a washcloth to clean them both up, to get them both under the covers. For now, he lies there, the room silence except for the noise of his own heavy breathing, Max’s quieter puffs of air. <it’s almost like daniel is in shock again here, bc other than sleep, this is the first real escape hes had from his horrible reality and now he has to come back to it. so hes just taking a moment to like, deal with that. but meanwhile, max is lying there expecting what he normally gets after this kinda sex. daniel to hold him, to tell him he was good and special and that daniel loves him. but minutes are ticking by and max isnt getting that and suddenly max feels all wrong.>

“Daniel,” Max says into the silence eventually, and his voice sounds a little small. Wrong. <Daniel isnt a dick okay, hes just dealing with his own feelings rn, that hes kinda forgot that hes being shitty with the ‘aftercare’ or whatever youd like to call it. hes very flawed in this fic, and then maxs voice here is his first clue that he fucked up>

Daniel is immediately pushing up on one elbow to look down at him, to look at his face, but he’s got his arm slung over it. He’s hiding. <Daniel is immediatley wanting to fix whatever is wrong. max is frightened that like he did something wrong or the sex made daniel feel worse. like he has no logical reason to think that, but the lack of ‘nice’ stuff being said is making him spiral so hes vunerable here. wants to hide>

“Max, I- Are you okay?” He reaches out and strokes tentative fingers down Max’s side. Max shudders but Daniel sees his shoulders relax ever so slightly at the gentle contact. <and immediatley like, daniel touching him softly starts to reassure max. he doesnt want to make this all about him when daniel is going through so much, so hes working hard to listen to daniels touch and words. daniel is touching him nicely, okay, things cant be that bad so he can start to relax>

“Can you-“ Max starts, voice muffled, “Can you say something nice.” <but he still needs that final thing. max needs to know he did good for daniel, but also he needs to know he was good like, for himself? because max has a big praise kink so the idea of not being good, like, really hurts him>

Daniel feels like someone has thrown a bucket of cold water over the bed.

“Baby-“ He forces the panic out of his voice, “Maxy, I- Come here.”

Max pulls his arm away from his face and Daniel can see his eyes are wet at the corners. Usually- usually that means Daniel did good, gave Max what he needed but now. Now he doesn’t know. <Max needs to look at daniels face first, that final thing before he can give himself over and let himself be like, okay, everything is okay. i didnt make daniel worse.>

“Baby, come here, please?” He says again and to his relief, Max scoots across the bed and into Daniel’s arms. He lets Daniel pull him so he’s pretty much lying on top of Daniel, wet face pressed into the crook of Daniel’s neck. Daniel rubs a hand up and down his back.

“Baby, you were so good for me, yeah? My good boy, you gave me just what I needed.” He feels Max nod against him and he presses a kiss onto the top of Max’s head. Keeps his mouth there and murmurs into his hair, “Thank you, Maxy. I’m so lucky to have you.” <and of course, daniel loves max so he’s going heavy with the nice stuff! he feels it, he thinks it, he just forgot to say it bc hes not perfect rn. how can he be?>

“I love you,” Max whispers like it’s a secret.

“I love you too,” Daniel says quickly but he doesn’t know if it’s enough right now.

[ainyan]

Fanfic Director's Cut ask: ⭐!

So, my original plan in my post-HW AU was for Kal'istae to break up with Thancred - as publicly and as rudely as she was capable - in order to protect him. By this point, several villains have already said that if they couldn't harm her directly, they would go after those she loved. With Fandaniel so obviously unhinged, she reasons it is only a matter of time before he goes directly at her heart - which, in this AU, is very clearly Thancred.

Thancred had other plans for me.

But she saw no choice. If Fandaniel saw him as a chink in her armor, he would strike. And in losing Thancred, she feared she'd lose a part of herself that could never be replaced. “I’m tired,” she replied distantly. “I just want to go to sleep.”

“Then move over,” he said quietly, reaching up to pull off his coat.

Her eyes flashed. “Alone, Thancred.”

His eyes flashed right back. “That’s not an option tonight, Kal’istae.”

“Damn it! I don’t want you here!” Her voice broke and she rolled away from him.

There was a weighted silence. “I’d believe you more if you weren’t halfway to tears.” He reached out, skimming his hand along her back. “Kali, my dear, please don’t shut me out.”

It was the please that broke her.

In a similar scene I had written for a previous fic, Kal'istae had succeeded in breaking things off with Thancred, and although they both acted as if it was fine, inside they were both very hurt. I had intended to replicate that moment in this AU, with her blowing him off and basically telling him she was done with him, they'd had their fun, but now she had to concentrate and he was only in her way.

Thancred... didn't take that as easily this time as he had last time. I rarely allow my characters to have free reign, but in this instance, I had written this scene before I really thought about what I was saying. By the time I got to the point shown above, it was already clear that while past-Kali had been able to shake him free, the current Kali, with years of history with him at this point, wouldn't.

And to be honest, I'm pretty sure she wasn't trying very hard, either.

The idea of 'breaking up to save him' comes up a few more times in this particular chapter, and no doubt will come up again. And every time she tries, he shuts her down. I rarely have a character take control of their own fate, but in this instance, Thancred managed. It's completely changed how I planned to write the Endwalker chapter of his and Kali's story, and I've found myself having to rethink a lot of things.

But I'm having fun doing it.

Original Ask Meme

Thank you for the ask!

[bichopalo]

omgggg i went to see the film with my brother... WELL!!

ok so the first film was called 'the green years' 1963 dir. paulo rocha. apparently it was the beginning of the new wave in portugal. i enjoyed it and i'm glad i saw it but i'm not sure it was like. the best film i've ever seen; i wasn't obsessed by it.

the other film was called 'where is this street? or with no before and after' 2022 and honestly it's nearly 2am so i can't be bothered to look up the directors. picture this, you're me, you've brought your brother along to a film at your favourite cinema, it's 88 minutes long. he asks you what it's about, you say 'i think they revisit the locations from the original film, and talk about them' well. you've made one mistake there.

the film revisited the locations of the original film, and then recreated the shot with the landscape but with no actors, or with minimal actors (there were definitely some people at times who'd been placed in shot purposefully, but they made up maybe 3 minutes of the film total). they did this for the whole film, so every shot in 'the green years' has a mirror in 'where is this street,' in the same order, but with no actors or dialogue.

so, if there was a shot that moved back and forth because two people were having a conversation, then the new film would make that same shot, moving back and forth, in the same location, but there's just a wall, no people. if a shot cut to another shot, that cut would be recreated. like. that's such an interesting concept? but for 88 minutes, it went on for a long time, and my brother hadn't seen the original film so he was totally lost (at least i could say to myself "oh, i know what happened here" and imagine the actors from the original film in present day lisbon).

still, i'm glad we went, because it gave us time to hang out and talk about the film, and it's given me something interesting to say i've done. and we're gonna go and see something else slightly less conceptual, so i get to hang out with him again soon (i'm moving to a different city soon, so that's rlly important for me) it was also realllly beautiful, like the colour of the film and the way it was shot was gorgeous, and it was clearly made with such passion bc can u imagine being so dedicated to make a film that long, just recreating another film shot for shot...

so thank you for coming with me on this journey! i've got a lot out of it, and i'm glad i had someone other than my parents and brother to talk to about it (most of my friends would be like. sooo uninterested lol) i hope you have a great week :^)

omg thats definetly..something.ive never heard of either of the films and it seems like a very very insteresting concept (normally im not a fan of shot for shot remakes but that seems like an interesting twist.still i wonder how many people were in the cinema to see a movie with no actors ! Did the rest of the attendees like it?) but lets say i wouldnt have picked them to see with my brother either 😭😭 still im glad you both had fun!!!!and it seems like a very memorable experience hahha

Thanks for telling me about it!i loved being a part of this little journey too <3333

[gingerbreadmonsters]

director's cut for 'motion capture' anddd 'you're the cat's meow'?????

star and zo are talking about this ask game (still open!)

damn we're going in HARD!!! thank you babes for asking about these because the world of motion capture is one of my all time favourites that i've done - elliott nation star and zo stay winning 🤩🤩🤩

the fics in question: motion capture + you're the cat's meow! spoilers for both of those under the cut 💕💕

ever since elliott and sunshine got caught and captured in canon i wanted to write something about that, but the concept for motion capture only really materialised properly in the summer when scorpius' first audio ('A Deal With a Demon') dropped - it's no secret that i LOVE me an unreliable narrator, and that dramatic irony is my favourite thing EVER, and what better way to combine those than with a brainwashed elliott??

brain stuff and the manipulation of minds and thoughts has always been a massive thing for me in my writing - i think it's incredibly versatile and adds lovely dimension, whether in terms of the way your worldview changes when you're in love with someone, or the inherent horror of not being able to trust your own mind and sensibility 😍😍 i bring it up a lot, but i think elliott and sunshine fit both of those very nicely, so it was only natural to give elliott a taste of that hehe

i don't think i made it very clear in the actual fic, but the song that elliott wakes up to is 'You Are The Sunshine Of My Life' by stevie wonder - the title is, of course, delightful for these two, and the particular bit of the song that elliott hears is MAGNIFICENTLY painful in the context of the fic 🥰🥰 i was kind of thinking about those, like, late 90s and 00s american teen movies where they always like to start with a pop song that plays over the opening montage, that melts into the protagonist waking up and hitting snooze or stopping the song bc it's their alarm - you know the kind i mean? and of course, this fic was inspired by the elliott fic of all elliott fics, rowan's bring me a dream, which incorporates music BEAUTIFULLY - it felt like the appropriate thing to do 🤩💖🫰

this fic was actually meant to unfold very differently, and you can kind of see bits of that original storyline that never got used - there's a set up with the deodorant and the left hand door of the closet that was supposed to pay off later, but never really comes to anything. elliott was supposed to be looking for something (i think it was going to be a hoodie?) and realise that it was probably behind that door, and then when he opened it he'd find all of sunshine's clothes - that was going to be what fucked up his brain, but alas i couldn't find a way to make it work 😫😫

there were also meant to be more pages in elliott's notebook!! i actually had some of them ready to go when i scrapped the idea, but it was getting too confusing - basically, before he left for closeknit, past-elliott would have written an "if you're reading this, i'm dead" letter in the back of the book, which present-elliott was going to find and absolutely lose his mind over what that implies about his life right now! it was a good idea, but the logistics behind it were too complicated - why would elliott only be finding that letter now, instead of days or weeks or months ago? what's special about today? what's different? it was all getting too much, so unfortunately that had to go 😭😭

my favourite favourite bit from the whole thing is DEFINITELY the bit where he makes tea - the line "(The mug is blue. Elliott is lactose intolerant.)" is, in my opinion, one of my all-time best lines i've ever done, and i love the way that whole bit came out 🥰🥰 the way he tries to rationalise and deny what's very clearly happened, the way the narration starts to repeat and bleed over itself.... UGH it was so much fun to write hehe 🥳🥳🥳

it took AGES to try and logic my way through exactly how elliott was able to keep himself alive in the flat, and the logic i ended up with isn't entirely watertight but i think it does the job! he needed to be getting food, water, electricity etc but no internet, and he couldn't be allowed to independently leave the house because i needed him to not accidentally run into people he knew on the street who might give the game away - but at the same time, people who know him (like family, friends, people from his job etc) needed to not raise the alarm that he hasn't been seen for some indefinite period of time 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

(in my mind, what happened was that closeknit was able to (by hook or by crook) get elliott assigned to one of their own people on some big 'top-secret' project that needed total secrecy and probably an extended stay abroad or in another state or something, and then to distribute that fact via elliott's phone (that they've definitely had access to, bc we know that the SIM card has been removed) to his family and friends - that way, nobody would go looking for him and radio silence wouldn't be too suspicious. obviously they wouldn't be able to keep this up forever, but i imagine that a) closeknit intends to kill elliott before long, regardless of blake's promise to sunshine, and b) this was all done in a bit of a hurry, when they captured elliott and sunshine and were then like "oh fuck what do we do now", and that panic is part of the reason why scorpius' memory modification didn't quite work correctly!)

the idea of the locket came from lyric on discord, who was kind enough to listen to me kick and scream about how i had no idea how to resolve all of this and then zapped me with the biggest brainwave imaginable - this is another shameless reference to a real locket that i own lol (the same one that gavin is wearing in get in, loser!) ✌️✌️ i loved the idea of elliott getting hit with that huge wave of dread and confusion as he looks at something that very clearly shouldn't be possible if the world is as he thinks it is - basically, he's seeing a glitch in the matrix and it's terrifying!!

i don't know if it came through very clearly in the narration, but in that last bit what happens is as follows:

elliott drops the pen, and kneels down to pick it up

he notices something shiny under the sofa, and sticks his head underneath there so that he can reach it

while he's still under there, he picks it up - it's a locket - and opens it, confused because he's already wearing an identical one

his is empty, but the one he found is not, containing a picture of him and sunshine, and the words "for my sunshine." - overwhelmed by the undeniable proof that something is very very wrong, it triggers a bout of lightheadedness

he tries to hold onto the memory, but hits his head on the underneath of the sofa, dropping the locket back where he found it and causing him to lose focus just long enough for the lightheadedness to make him forget

it's implied that this has happened before, and will continue to happen every day indefinitely

(also, "navy blue cotton" is a reference to thy fair imperfect shade, my first elliott fic - it has no bearing on the story here, it's just for fun hehe 🥳🥳)

we can definitely talk about you're the cat's meow!, although it's quite short so there might not be much to say! they both take place in the same universe, and i'd had that song in the back pocket for a few months at least - although it was meant for a fluff fic, i'm a sucker for tonal dissonance... 🤩🤩🤩

this fic is, to me, the chaser to motion capture - not so much a narrative foil, but showing that closeknit didn't keep their promises to either of them. sunshine was told that elliott's off living a normal, happy life (he's emphatically not), and elliott was under the impression that sunshine didn't even exist (they do, but not for much longer if blake keeps chipping away at them).

i do hope it's clear, but just so we're all on the same page:

closeknit did not give sunshine a radio - that's them singing the same song over and over again in an attempt to comfort themselves and block out what's really going on

the 'house in the forest' that blake keeps burning down is the one from elliott's BA that he and sunshine designed together

the 'little friend' who has a nightmare is blake's listener - his one weakness, and inadvertently the reason why blake's goal to talk to brachium has yet to succeed

the reason sunshine is still there is because they won't give in - in their mind, they've pivoted to protecting elliott the way they couldn't do physically, and so blake is now having to try and wear them down in order make them pliable enough to get access to brachium

sunshine is wearing a straitjacket - that's why the jacket is so 'cuddly and soft', and why their arms specifically are so warm

[bmodiwrites]

oh man, I’ve been wanting talk your ear off about My Younger Heart Was Feeling New and now’s my chance! no specific part, just curious how it came to be and your thoughts on writing it! 🫶🏻

You have?! That's exciting. It didn't get nearly as much traction as I thought it was going to, so I'm a bit surprised, too lol

Okay, so you'll probably laugh at this but I was reading a Bagginshield fic that had a sort of letter-y type feel to it while watching The Lakehouse when the idea struck. I then went and read a couple different epistolary novels (Pride & Prejudice & Dracula) to get the feel of how the letters were written while still driving the plot forward.

Right before I sat down to write, my husband & I talked the whole plot through. Most people think my inclusion of him is weird but in a lot of ways, that's the most important part of my entire writing process. My S/O can't write & has little imagination, but man is he very good at saying when stuff isn't good or doesn't flow. He's my idea editor, if you will lol

I really enjoyed writing My Younger Heart - it was something different than my usual writing and a multi-chapter fic. I never pen those so I'm always a little extra proud of myself when I get 7 chapters written and pumped out like a oneshot. I think Steddie has the perfect relationship (especially because of what happened to Eddie) to play around with time, so it was fun to add my contribution to the masses.

And honestly, I really appreciate the art of letter writing. I think I've done one of those types of fics in every single fandom that I write for. There's nothing more intimate than words on paper. I wanted to see what I could do with Steve and Eddie's connection without them being in the same place/time or really interacting at all. I wanted to see what I could create with only words and empathetic emotions driving them forward. I think, even if the end didn't make the most sense, that Steve & Eddie coming together actually feels real - at least to me lol

Thanks for the question, pal! I could probably chat about it for a lot longer but this ask is already way too lengthy lol

FanFic: Director's Cut - send all your burning questions here!

[collisiondiscourse]

Rant about Tiger & Bunny please

THANKYOUUUUU SM !!! I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY ABT THIS SHOW!!

for a show made in 2011... Tiger and Bunny holds up SURPRISINGLY well. when i first watched it, there were so many times i had to remind myself that the show itself was relatively old. its certainly not perfect and there are some parts you can see that dont age very well, but overall? its a pretty! damn! good! show!

first on the animation — it should be said that tiger and bunny is laughably VERY explicit with their sponsorships. its a very tongue in cheek joke that all the companies sponsoring/working on the tiger and bunny anime are actual companies within the universe of t&b and thus also sponsor the heroes themselves. every superhero has a logo emblazoned SOMEWHERE on their suit like a funny take on formula 1 racers

i mean, talk about being loud and proud am i right?

stylistically speaking, tiger and bunny uses a very very good blend of 3d and 2d animation to get its action scenes across. the matching suits that tiger and barnaby wear are completely 3d animated, which makes them a DELIGHT to watch as they duke it out. the anime also does this thing where occassionally, their helmets will be flipped up in order to see their expressions which are completely done in 2d and very very interesting to look at.

is it the best and most highquality animated thing i've ever seen? no. not by a LONG shot.

do i think the animation quality and style enhance the way the show is watched? FUCK YES.

t&b's style is extremely fun and dynamic and i could NEVER get tired of the way they make kotetsu move whether he is in the suit or out of it.

MORE THAN THAT — its extremely cheesy! but in a good way!! THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS IN THIS SHOW like classic hero catchphrases, kinda-cringy hero poses, and EXTREMELY funny hero move names that make this show so damn fun to watch and so very nostalgic. its about the funny announcer voice when tiger and bunny do their special! the way fire emblem's flames literally spell FIRE as they shoot it out of their hands! the way a character designed after a samurai and named origami cyclone is some white dude when kotetsu, an actual japanese man, is right there! the director of herotv is literally a girlboss french woman! blue rose has bracers with pepsi branding! both nothing and EVERYTHING makes sense in tiger and bunny and i am here for every wild, wild second.

not to mention they constantly subvert my expectations by going against what i thought was the norm for shows like this! despite the whole HEROTV having a points system and all... the bond between all the heroes and supposed competing companies? is very wholesome! they all love and respect each other by miles and trust one another to a degree that they work out together, know each others addresses, and never feel the need to hide their secret identities. all the heroes are genuinely good and caring people who believe in justice and doing right by the people before the points themselves.

whats more is that the media and journalists? aren't an enemy!!! they work with heroes! respect their privacy! hell, theyre the ones who are clearing the heroes names whenever someone attempts to sabotage their reputations. the herotv producers literally WORK to give communication and act as the eyes in the sky for the heroes and ping them whenever they spot crime! if a mission needs privacy? if a hero accidentally reveals who they are? if a fight suddenly gets personal or too bad that the heroes are about to get beaten up live on tv? THEY CUT THE CAMERAS!!!

Not to mention! all the citizens are nice and reasonable! they evacuate when the heroes tell them to. they respect the heroes and dont badmouth them without reason. HELL, when tiger underperforms? messes up a little bit while saving people and causes a little more property damage than needed by accident? they dont boo him or jeer or ask for his resignation. they laugh and tease him and tell him to do better next time! the people of stern bild are FUCKIN AWESOME!!!!

as you watch the show, youll realize that it was probably the point of inspiration for SOOOO many other pieces of media! mha is heavily inspired on everything about tiger and bunny. voltron legendary defenders has a few obvious points of inspo here and there. its such an unsung but persistent piece of media that really makes you step back and think "oh. so THATS where it came from." and it makes you fall in love w the show all over again.

i could rant about how kotetsu is such a good character for DAYS. or the parallels between him and bunny and bkdk that have me screaming. OR the fact there is a literal nonbinary african-american character who is so fucking badass and totally has their moments. OR anything about every single other character BECAUSE I LOVE THEM ALL. but i wont bc that would take too damn long and i wouldn't even know where to begin.

my tldr is this.

tiger and bunny is a DAMN good show and will make you hyped for every episode you are on. you'll be left thinking abt it for DAYS, mourning the lack of content on the internet it has.

its fun. its sweet. its heartfelt. and its so so so so COOL. watch the first 2 episodes and i guarantee, you'll be hooked.

[kanjukucompany]

【A3! Translation】 Golden Hathi (6/11)

previous chapter / next chapter

over the halfway point woohoo

(translation under the cut)

(glitch text ignore)

Azuma: I see, so this is what it looks like from the audience's perspective.

Izumi: I'd like to take better advantage of stage effects here. For example....

Tasuku: Agreed. I'll go up on stage and move around a bit, you can use that to check.

Chikage: Rodger that.

Tasuku: .....How's this?

Izumi: If water will be flowing from here, people around that area should probably move away a bit.

Chikage: But if you move too far, it'll hard to be seen from the end seats.

Tasuku: Then, the standing position should be....

Azuma: ...We should actually perform on stage while making adjustments, so any fine tuning can be made to the show.

Tasuku: This is turning out to be more like a training camp than I expected.

Hisoka: ...Maybe it's because of Tasuku.

Tasuku: Azuma-san, could you take a look at it from here?

Azuma: Alright. I've been called, so I'm off. Good luck with your dance, Hisoka.

Hisoka: Mhm.

Izumi: (Tasuku-san's so lively, with playing the roles himself and making various suggestions and all.)

Izumi: (He did watch that Indian film recently. He seems to have gotten some good inspiration from the themes, stage, and performances.)

Izumi: (Tasuku-san's attitude is having a positive impact on everyone else, too.)

Misumi: Hey, hey, how about this dance?

(misumi dances and flips around)

Taichi: That's some super cool choreography, but it's way too superhuman!

Omi: Given that other people will be performing the dances in the future, maybe it's best to go with something a little simpler.

Misumi: I get it~. Hmm....

Taichi: Hisoka-san, how about these steps here?

(taichi dances)

Hisoka: There... should be a little more like this.

(hisoka dances)

Hisoka: It's a small change, but if done correctly it'll get the costumes to move a lot more... I think.

Taichi: I see, I see!

Hisoka: If you wanna add that choreography in, I think it'd fit well in the next section.

Misumi: Wahh~, that looks nice~! Then jump here like this~...

Omi: I think we could pull that off ourselves.

Inda: Amazing...! Ideas I never would've thought of before are popping up now...!

Izumi: Thank you very much. I hope with everyone together we can make your stage even better than before.

Izumi: Regarding the stage mechanics, you mentioned that at the end of the dance, this elephant also moves...

Inda: Right. Our staff will move it when the time comes.

Inda: Would you like to try it out?

Tasuku: Sure, I have been wanting to see it in action.

Omi: And again, new ideas could arise too.

Inda: Understood. Then, I'll go move it.

-

Misumi: Wahh~, Elephant-san moved!

Omi: So the entire foundation moves, I see.

Taichi: Whoa, water's shooting out! Awesome--!

Hisoka: Everything suddenly got cooler.

Azuma: It's more dynamic than I imagined.

Inda: For safety reasons, the inside of the elephant is practically hollow, in order to reduce the weight of it.

Chikage: So in the unlikely event it would fall over, nobody would get hurt.

Tasuku: So if the elephant moves like this...

Tasuku: Excuse me, Director. I came up with another idea using this...

Izumi: Yes! Tell me!

Hisoka: Tasuku's fired up again.

Azuma: Fufu, he looks like he's having a lot of fun coming up with all kinds of ideas to implement into the stage.

Azuma: Why don't we go the extra mile too.

Hisoka: Got it.

Izumi: (Everyone's coming up with for different ideas and effects for the stage.)

Izumi: (It looks like this training camp is going to be a really great experience, too.)

Tasuku: Oi, Director. Are you listening?

Izumi: Of course! Let's give it a try.

[amarriageoftrueminds]

How do you cope with Steve's completely out of character actions in Endgame? And by coping I mean have you ever tried to come up with some kind of logical explanation not to justify, but at least to try to explain them? Because it's been two years since Endgame came out and I'm still wracking my mind about certain scenes, trying to come up with a logical explanation for all of them. For example, the one at the very beginning where they're going to space to kill Thanos and Steve had to look, of all things, at that goddamned compass (I've never held so much contempt for an inanimate object); again, during that therapy session meant for people who lost loved ones in the Snap, and he just went and talked about Peggy, and I want to know, why? Or him telling Natasha that maybe "it doesn't need to be done" and how is that actually Steve Rogers? And I'm not even going to talk about the ending, because well... I don't think they'll ever retcon that ending, but if they do I'm rooting for the Skrull theory.

Oh, I forgot to say, I'm not talking about the deliberate writing choices, I'm talking more from a fictional standpoint.

How do I cope-

Tbh I don’t? 

I never understood why fans could go so mental over certain directors (all this fuss about whatsisface and Star Wars, for example). Until Endgame. 

I’ve never left a cinema before feeling like I hated one of my favourite characters, re-evaluating everything they’ve done before as if maybe I’d misread them and they’d been a douchebag all along. It was absolutely gutting in a way that shocked me. 

So I just don’t watch it; Steve’s isn’t the only character assassinated, after all. Thor’s portrayal was actually nasty (I’m not a fan of Ragnarok either, for how much it took the piss of or destroyed; I want Asgard back!) And there’s a scene where Tony is asked to save trillions of lives and he just says no?! WTF?? Steve giving Sam the shield was the only thing it did right and even that frankly, as we’ve seen in FATWS, was a poison chalice. 

.

BUT

you didn't ask how shitty I think it is (we ain’t got all day) you asked how I'd explain it so:

Some possibilities... 

.

1. Steve is a Skrull. 

Steve had a breakdown after Infinity War but still didn’t want to be seen to let his remaining friends down so he hired and trained a skrull to imitate him. Maybe he went to live somewhere else, maybe he put himself into cryo. This opens up the problems of how he know what a skrull is, and how he made one imitate him. 

Maybe it wasn’t Steve himself who hired them but someone else? Fury? Or maybe someone else kidnapped Steve, shut him into a cryo unit, and put the skrull in his place, with a view to abusing Steve’s power in the snapped world... 

.

2. Steve is some other supersoldier wearing a Steve nanomask.

Again, hired to impersonate Steve for some reason and not very good at it and raises the question of why.

.

and my personal fave:

3. Steve is Loki. 

Ours isn’t the universe in which we beat Thanos.

In our universe, Steve turns to dust along with half the world. 

But, all the wizardly timelines show that the Snap can only be undone, and the stones restored to their rightful places, by a team which includes Steve. 

So...

While he is fixing timelines with the Time Police or whatever they're called, Loki is tasked with imitating Steve to make sure events go as they’re supposed to with Thanos, the second time around. 

This begins by inserting Loki-Steve into the first Thanos battle in Wakanda, immediately after Our-Steve dusted, while everyone is disorientated, and in such a way that nobody notices the switch. 

The Time Police Or Whatever They're Called give Loki a copy of everything Steve’s ever said, but he only skims it and so only has a very superficial basic idea of who Steve really is. To do his job Loki isn’t allowed to abuse Steve’s power, and since he isn’t a Steve fan at all this results in a Steve who seems unusually apathetic and self-centered and doesn’t connect with anyone else who’s gone through the Snap because Loki himself didn’t. 

This means that during the time heist, in 2012, there were two Lokis.

BUT, like all good plots

There's a Twist!

You remember how 2012!Loki briefly impersonated Steve to make fun of him, before Thor put the gag on him?

What if he did it again? 

What if: 

2012 Loki stole the tesseract from the lobby, disappeared, got the gag off, and then reappeared elsewhere in Stark Tower because -- like the 2023 time-thieves -- he wanted to go and get the mind-stone scepter for himself. 

He knew everyone trusts Captain America, so he took on Steve’s form. 

And he was wandering around upstairs (where 2012 Steve shouldn’t have been since he was supposed to be out in the streets helping with clean up), when he bumped into... 

2023 Steve... 

Who was also Loki. 

2012-Loki loses the fight because 2023-Loki has the scepter and 2012 can’t give away that he has the tesseract. 

After being knocked out, 2012-Loki wakes up, and uses the tesseract to take off before he can be caught again. 

(But then he is caught by the Time Police Or Whatever They're Called and told or forced to badly-impersonate Steve on and off for five years.) 

2023-Loki-Steve and 2023-Tony go back in time to the 1970s to get the Tesseract. Because he’s Loki, he also sneaks a bunch of extra Pym Particles for himself. 

When Bruce snaps his fingers and brings everyone back, that includes Our-Steve. 

During the confusion created by Thanos’ arrival and nuking of the Avengers HQ, 2023-Loki briefly pulls Our-Steve into an alternate timeline. 

There he explains to Steve what he needs to do: including shaving his beard 😩  , cutting his hair, switching his Nomad costume for his OG Steve get-up, and then going into battle against Thanos. 

He also explains that he has been whanging on about Peggy and that he stole extra Pym-Particles so no one will be surprised if Steve were to- say -disappear back in time. 

Then they nip back to 2023, where our Steve slips into step beside a clueless Tony and Thor.

So the Steve in the awesome kickass portal battle is our Steve, from Wakanda. 

This is why he is able to wield Mjolnir and Stormbreaker.

The Steve on the time-platform is also our Steve, but is half-assedly acting out the shitty ending Loki arranged for him because he's decided he does want to disappear and retire.

And the old-Steve who gave Sam the shield is our Steve who used the half-developed time-heist suit to age himself up, before then reverting back to his proper age.

(Bucky, of course, was in on all this, and pointed out that if Steve were really from the future he would probably be wearing a wedding ring. This is how he and Steve accidentally get engaged.)

Loki sneaks up to New Asgard, where he impersonates Valkyrie; so he can spend a bit of quality time with his brother -- only for Thor to declare him (as Valkyrie) King and announce he's off on a spacetrip.

So Loki goes back to the Time Police Or Whatever They're Called, mission accomplished.

Or does he...?