#i. love. helping others so much. like the way my wol does. i want to. help others so much like she does

[noxtivagus]

THE ALCHEMIST/CULINARIAN ROLE QUEST IN SHB 🥺

[coldshrugs]

mustering

characters: estinien varlineau; io laithe (wol) | pre-relationship word count: 900 note: i'm having a lot of feelings about siblings, accidental family, and the way men love. [divider credit]

“Have you noticed our little shadow? He's been following us since we left the city.”

Io’s ears shift a degree, but Estinien suspects she doesn’t have to apply much focus to pick out the clumsy footsteps in the brush. She grins, eyes trained forward so she doesn’t disturb their company.

“And here I was thinking you'd taken the long way round for my benefit,” she says, and his skin tingles with the shy mischief in her voice.

He turns to her, strafing sideways, then walking backward down the well-worn path that slithers beneath the canopy. He takes stock of both his companions. The boy–in shaggy hair and tattered clothes, creeping through tangled plants several feet behind them–still thinks he’s unseen. And Io–in the dappled green light, she is more beautiful than the image he’s kept in his mind these past months, and looking far more healthy–is only teasing him

Are they back here? In the place they can laugh together, or make jokes that almost touch the heart of the thing that goes unspoken between them?

Noted.

“Two birds and all that.”

That makes her eyes widen, and makes her smile. Estinien is unable to resist joining her, even if he has to look away.

He continues, “I am worried for him, though. One needn’t have a scholar’s wit to see that the merchant has the boy leashed. He’s being used.”

Her ear twitches again when their follower snaps a branch, but they are careful not to give him away.

“You do this often, you know?”

“Hm?”

“You have a knack for finding wayward souls. Little lambs.” Her laugh is a familiar melody, quiet but uncouth. Something he didn’t realize he missed. “It’s like you call to them, or they to you… Like you can’t help but care for them.”

“Hm.” He returns to her side, an arm’s length away. Both too close and too far.

Estinien thinks of his brother, as he often does. A little thing, wiry but tough. He liked to chase the sheep to try to rile them up, to rile Estinien up when it was his watch, but they would simply follow him, as sheep are wont to do. It wasn’t long before he’d made friends of the entire flock and took as much pride in their care as Estinien had. Even with so few years between them, their parents trusted Hamignant to watch over the flock, and Estinien to watch over Hamignant.

He thinks of the first time he saw Alphinaud. Never mind the ghost he saw in the lad’s face… there was something else there. He was lonely and lost, carrying the weight of a sin he could not have predicted. A haunting, and a mirror. In the end, he became a source of inspiration, though it took him far too long to realize it.

Vrtra and Aymeric, too. As alone when he met them as he has been at one point in his life or another. Wanting for company, for connection. Wanting to be chosen based on fondness and merit. Wishing for family.

Lost lambs…

Hamignant’s name hasn’t left his mouth in years.

He wonders if Io would care to learn about him. She is a shepherd too, of a kind. He thinks they might’ve liked each other, or that he would have found a way to make her laugh if nothing else.

“Hami…” he begins. The pause lasts too long. Maybe this is stupid. Why dig up the past when he is only so recently able to see a future?

Io smiles patiently.

“Your brother?”

His eyes fall to the leaf-covered ground and he nods. “He would walk our sheep into the fold from pasture. He named them all. Even if they already had one, he’d change them to something he liked better–insufferable, really. Anyway… when one went missing, he’d beg me to join him in the search, make me scour the fields and nearby forest with him until we found whichever young, or old, or lame sheep had wandered off alone, staring up at us with that look of relief. And I was a bit bigger than him, so I would carry it home while he doted on Flopsy, or Custard, or whatever the fuck he’d named them–” he feels his smile spreading as he shakes his head, and the vacuum in his heart surrounding Hamignant shrinks, just a little. “I suppose what I mean is, he still holds me accountable.”

They walk on in silence–Io looking faraway and wistful, and himself feeling lighter having breathed life into the memory–until the trees spread out and give way to the Perfumed Rise. A mile away, the jewel-green sea meets the pink shore, but the wind carries its roar up the hill.

Io’s steps bring her closer. Out of interest in his story, perhaps. “What will you do with this lamb, then? I presume he intends to follow us to Akyaali… We can’t expect him to find his way back to the city alone.”

Estinien sighs. He already knows how this will play out.

You see, being a brother is much like being a shepherd: watch the horizon for danger, be willing to fight it off, carry home the lost and the hurt. The roles are inseparable for him, because he learned them at the same time, with the same person.

“Focus on convincing Matsya to put in a good word with the locals for our boat. Leave the boy to me.”

[onepunchcatboi]

A Very Long Thing About DawnTrail

I’ve been having a lot of thoughts on DT and decided to compile them into a giant fucking essay and post it on the internet because that’s how we all get our enrichment these days lolol

Overall I have mixed feelings about it. It seems like for everything I liked about it, there are just as many I didn’t.

I want to preface this with the fact that I only did MSQ as of this essay and did no side content or side quests aside from the ones needed for aether currents. Also I played the expansion over like a couple weeks in between masters class assignments so my memory could be fuzzy on some things lol if you know a thing that gives more insight to anything, please share! I make this not to slam the new expansion, but to discuss what I did and did not like about it lol

Also like…these are my opinions lol if you thoroughly enjoyed DT and feel it does not have any flaws then maybe idk skip this post bc I'm about to

think critically about media

And my first opinion is this: if it's a problem that has to be solved in MSQ, then its explanations and solutions also have to be addressed in MSQ. If that is not occurring then the writing has failed to inform the player properly.

Again if you find yourself disagreeing on that then maybe this post isn't for you lol

Everything under the cut because uh…how many pages did I write in word? >_>;;

I feel like it started off really good! I loved coming to a new place, learning all the things about it and such. I loved getting to help Wuk Lamat learn and gain confidence in herself! I loved that Thancred and Urianger were there to be cheeky little shites [affectionate] on the other team guiding their own baby ruler. I loved the trials and how they gave different lessons about the different peoples of Tural and how different problems require different approaches [yes I even liked the trading quest. It was funny]. I think Galool Ja Ja is a mad old genius and it was fun to know him, someone who was essentially like us in that he traveled with a band of friends and united a continent in an effort to bring peace to the land. And I was thrilled when the result of the trial was both Wuk Lamat and Koana becoming equal rulers, because they both have two halves of the right idea: love for people and their culture, and forward thinking for innovation to solve their problems.

Honestly, aside from some minor weirdness in the Mamool Ja section, I was so pleased with everything that I found it very sad I did not enjoy the second half of the expac;;

I’ve read a few posts about it now and so has my gf so the following is an amalgam of thoughts that are my own and bouncing off others. I'm both trying to make sense of what disappoints me narratively about it, and what would have made more sense for both me and my WoL

First I’ll get my small critiques of the first half out of the way:

The first a minor thing, but there were odd moments of passivity where the player didn't get to do much. The one I think of the most is when Wuk Lamat has to wrangle an alpaca. It makes sense she has to do this on her own, but why do we as the player have to sit at the campfire and wait? We could have played as Wuk Lamat to do it like we do when she confronts Bakool Ja Ja. Hell, maybe it might have been a really funny sequence, too! I don't mind taking a backseat as the WoL here, but I do mind taking a back seat as a player. I suppose you can argue it's because we need to have a bonding moment with Erenville, but this scene could still have easily occurred anyways.

Most of what I don't think feels right has to do with the Mamool Ja section. Now, my memory's not perfect here, but my understanding is that they have had to dwell in the lower forested area for a while? At least it sounded like they had an age-old conflict with the Xa'brun, so more than a few generations. In that context it feels...a little oof to have to come in and help them figure out how to grow food down there. Maybe I'm not remembering when the meteors struck? Because if it was recent then this makes sense and is not as weird, but otherwise its a bit awkward;; [to say the least;;]

As for the second half:

I think generally, a thing that would have helped is to keep the threat local. After Endwalker, it feels...maybe unwise to continue to escalate the stakes. I don’t need world-ending threats. I already did that. Or at the very least I need a break from them lol we just finished saving the Star, settling any sort of unrest on one continent would have been a fun little jaunt in comparison. I understand not a lot of people would have enjoyed that or felt this would have been a step back. But I feel that trying to take the shonen route of continuously upping the stakes tends to run the risk of ridiculousness. I mean we just finished defeating the literal embodiment of despair trying to end all life as we know it because supposedly there is only pain and suffering in life anyways. Do you keep trying to figure out more world ending stakes from there? Or do you look for different kinds of stakes? Maybe some wouldn't have felt the latter was "worthy" or "challenging" enough for their WoL, and I'm not against having some other big threats happen. I just need more time and build up from that lol. There's a reason you need your "beach episode".

The second half of DT also felt extremely jarring. I know the reality of it was there were three main writers working together on the whole thing [far as I know outside looking in], but what it felt like was one person wrote the rite of succession half, and then handed it to a completely different person to write the second half of the story. And while the first half felt really solid, the second half was highly disjointed and uninterested in the WoL or their friends. It felt much too focused on its own ideas to consider them in fact, which is...a choice, for a long form RPG where lots of the player base is pretty invested in them by now. Hell at this point I wonder if someone completely different higher up the chain looked at the first draft and went “too small, make it bigger” and thus the writers had to make sudden changes to an otherwise solid narrative. Something to look into I guess.

Again, I loved the first part, and I think the writing there felt really good! It makes sense for the WoL to be a guiding hand and a mentor to Wuk Lamat, Thancred and Urianger were playing the same roles for Koana. "What is it you want to do?", "What do you think is important?", "I think your ideas are great and I support them", "This is your country and your people, tell me what you need, and I will help you make it happen". It would have been inappropriate for us to step in any more than we did. [although I do think it wooouuuld have been nice for the WoL to come in just to ensure Wuk Lamat and Bakool Ja Ja had a one-on-one bout for realsies. Or! Have a great moment where the WoL makes to do so, and Wuk Lamat be like "No...I have this *glint*", in fact forget my first suggestion, that would have been amazing]

But if we are going to make a world ending event happen, then this is where the WoL needs to take charge again. And I don't mean that Wuk Lamat and Koana and the other major players shouldn't have been involved, this is their home and their Star too. What I mean is that the WoL should have had that moment to take the reins and guide them through it, because this is unfamiliar territory for them, but it is our bread and butter [more on this later]

Related to this I… don’t like the Azem magicial maguffin item that has fallen into our laps;;

Don’t get me wrong, I actually think its brilliant and in fact, fucking hilarious that Krile’s people yeeted themselves out of the source to avoid possible extinction due to a calamity. The idea is great, I just…have problems with its execution. I feel this story point would have been stronger if it was done through their own prowess or technology. The how of it doesn’t even have to matter right now because it was long ago enough that the methods could have been lost to time, or only have the tiniest bit of clues for our local prospective world hopper Y’Shtola to fiddle with. [speaking of that it does create an awkwardness of Krile’s soul being 2-3 steps lighter than everyone else's which presumably Y’Shtola would have noticed, which Krile herself even states early on, but that's another thing for later]

The issue is that making this exodus happen because of an item with Azem’s symbol on it actually creates more questions than answers and not in a good way. We don’t actually know right now how much contact Azem had with Venat post Zodiarc forming, but generally speaking it does not make sense for Azem [or anyone really] to have created a item to world hop between the shards, because the shards did not exist in the time frame that this item would have been made. The only way this item works then is if someone else made it and slapped the Azem symbol on it, just as our Azem crystal was. Otherwise the writing has to walk it back and say it has a different primary function, it can just also be used for reality bridging lol

But I also don’t like the maguffin because I don’t actually want to world hop with ease. We had extraneous contrived ways we were able to access the 1st and the 13th shards, and that’s great! It’s not supposed to be easy! It’s supposed to be a whole thing, because the magic used to create this world state in the first place required the power of a fucking god. And while I don’t think accessing the maguffins power will be done quickly or easily, I don’t want an item to let me do the thing in an identical manner going forward. It feels…like a gimme. [Or rather a “give her”, I am again surprised Y’Shtola hasn’t been all over this yet but it's probably because the writers don’t want to let her more on that later]

Ok now is when I am going to get the most critical because I feel like everything goes literally off the rails the second we're done with helping to fix them lol This is one part Everything to do with Alexandria/unknown shard, one part lack of character writing for WoL/Scions, one part Zoraal Ja's missing back story, and one part wtf with Sphene.

There first two points I feel are kind of intertwined, as almost everything weird about this shard mostly comes around to "why where the WoL/Scions suddenly mute on everything they are seeing". It's pretty clear that this shard was being led to a calamity by ascian activity. We just have a lack of ascians to verify this at the moment. The results are easy to see by our surroundings and the state of the world. The things that stick out to me the most are the Levin Sickness, and of course the...soul munching :'>

The Levin sickness is described as an imbalance of lightning aether, so much so that the person afflicted is in a torpid state most of the time in severe cases. But an imbalance of an aether element in a person is how tempering is described, so...why do we not bring up the fact that we know how to cure that? Even if they wanted to write in a reason for it to not work the same, the fact that Alisae is right there and has that ability, and doesn't say anything is extremely out of character for her. It's like they forgot how desperately she tried to find this cure in the first place [its a big part of her character development in fact].

But the elephant in the room has to be the use of souls as both fuel to keep people alive and a currency. I think the idea was to build in the rest of the story, where you first had to learn about a culture and understand it before making judgments but uh...I'm sorry but eating the souls of the dead is a really hard sell out the gate. Even if we hadn't been to the aetherial sea to like, witness all that, this is a hard sell. But the thing is we actually have like, been there. We saw that souls travel to a place where-after they are reborn later. And maybe I didn't understand this right, but the implication then is that those souls used for life force don't get to be reborn. I guess this point is slightly less abhorrent if the Alexandrians don't know this, and this could be the case maybe? It's never brought up. We also never bring it up! Why don't we tell people that we've seen what happens when people die?! I mean maybe they wouldn't have believed us [understandable], but it’s weird that we don't say it!

The idea of using the souls of the dead is I think, the most workable if the culture is of a mind of: when you’re dead you’re dead and nothing special happens afterwards. No afterlife, nothing, the body decays the aether disperses, that’s it. Perhaps this is clearer in the sidequests?? But if that’s truly how they view death, then it should have been touched on in MSQ. I would say this is what the function of Living Memory is but…it doesn’t seem to be a place the Alexandrians are widely aware of, nor is the concept of an Endless at this point. So their continued mantra about their dead always being remembered, while they are currently forgetting about them all the time, rings a bit hollow. They can only remember them after the fact of living the rest of their life to the point of death IF they become an endless. Which maybe the point was always to make all the Alexandrians endless [fuck;;;] but I think if it was written that the populous knew they’d go to an unending heaven place where all their memories and loved one were waiting for them, it might have made a lot more sense.

After looking at this post/reddit thread though, it seems that the main culprit for this sticking point is possibly that the EN translations were unclear on this issue??? And that some of the souls do pass on to the aetherial sea, just that many of them keep being recycled into the system? If so this does make the cast's reactions to the whole thing slightly less weird, but goddamn they should have stated this more clearly then. Because my presumption otherwise is that they are essentially erasing souls from existence or that they just never get the opportunity to be reborn in order to preserve the currently living, both of which elicit a wholly different reaction vs they'll get there eventually just not right now and possibly not for several hundred years. Which like, is still halting gears in a natural cycle, but it isn't breaking the machine outright by yanking the pieces out. Still a little fucky though? To be honest? For those souls that by chance keep getting shuffled about instead of getting reborn.

Actually another thing I am just remembering too is we never really address the whole like…deeply unethical methods Alexandrian scientists used to get to this level of precision in separating soul from memory and the effects of using the separated souls. We encounter it for a brief moment as we move through the facility to fight Zoraal Ja and it’s kind of hand waved in this moment. Which I get time is of the essence here but then yeah it wasn't discussed. Maybe it will be in the lead up to the next expansion? But that will not be for a while. And I don't like that.

Zoraal Ja is another strange point in here.

I remember reading a great analysis about the beginning of the Rite of Succession, how each of the siblings are extremely reflective of their birth order. And for Zoraal Ja, this idea of him being an expansionist falls in line with this well. Most things he has going for him are because he's his father’s son, to surpass his father is to move out of his shadow and become something more. For this he needs to either outdo his father or find different ways to outshine him. So, gaining new territories and new victories [since he’s the most martial of the bunch and doesn’t want to use his cunning for other things?] falls in line with this. And honestly...if that’s all he did I feel like the story would have been more solid for it. 

But from the beginning also, he keeps mentioning this need for him to make the people know how terrible war is? To know what suffering is so that they will beg for his rule?? Where does this idea come from??? As far as we know the boy grew up in peacetime, so there's not much to suggest he's had hardship aside from the pressure of being a miracle baby. At first I thought maybe something had happened to his still not mentioned mother during Endwalker, when anyone succumbing to despair could have become a monstrosity. [an entire tangent and a half for another day btw, no one…mentions the Star going out of whack a short while ago??] But this is never referenced...soooo...where does this motivation come from? Honestly at one point I theorized that maybe he'd actually been a wish-baby by Galool Ja Ja at the golden city but he'd been born with the soul of someone else from the golden city who'd gone through immense suffering in a war and this was why he was…like that. It just...seems an incredibly far reach for him to think this way. The only thing I can think of at this point is that he's pissed off about it being peace time so he has to find ways to cause conflict just so he can prove himself better than his father? But if that's the way it wasn't very clear.

 Finally...Sphene.

There's a lot wrong here I feel, but it's not really to do with the concept of the character, rather all the writing around her. It is interesting to have an AI with a benevolent ruler’s personality that was made to help ensure the love and safety of a kingdom. A terrible idea really, but an interesting one to play with in fiction lol the program has been around for I think 1000 years so it makes sense for this figure to feel eternal and well loved…if you're…into monarchies, I guess. But AI Sphene from the beginning is sus as fuck. In hindsight this is because it can only do what it's directive and the limiter of the personality programing can agree on, but as a person meeting another person, there is little reason for us to trust her. It gets presented as sort of a red herring at first, is she or isn't she a good person? It tries to convince us to assist in its directive by running us through a similar process as in the first half of the game. We learn about Alexandria and its people, and you know they're fine, except for...everything that happened because of the cataclysm, and the definitely normal but only been happening for the last 1000 years soul eating. It is a culture that fears death in the most extreme way possible, but they're chill.

And at this point it’s clear that AI Sphene is to be a foil of Wuk Lamat. Which makes sense given how much they both want to ensure their people’s happiness. The problem mostly arises the second we understand that Sphene is not a person. So...why do we keep treating her as such afterwards? I can understand if Wuk Lamat is not familiar with a lot of tech, that’s not her forte, but it is for some of us in the group. Who are also...just ignoring that bit?? Like if we needed to stop and explain to her what a program is like we did the reflections and such, why didn't we? I know she might not have got it fully, but again, weird that we all just carried on like the program was something that could be reasoned with. Especially if it’s at the point where massacre of anyone not in its kingdom was perfectly acceptable for it. And just...even if Sphene was real, she is no longer a good person at this point. People who love their country and their people, but are completely fine with killing others to ensure their own survival exist in this world. We know those are not good people. We have named them before, it’s just genocide masquerading as nationalism. Which is why it’s baffling and frankly infuriating that the characters are written to carry on like the program is a good person continuously after this point.

A lot of people have been making the comparison to Emet Selch and Amourot and it’s a fair and good one to make, they mirror each other well. I think the reason Emet works and Sphene doesn’t comes right back around to the writing. We as the WoL have a history with the Ascians, we know what they are up to long before Emet arrives, and when he does, we are rightfully suspicious of his intentions. Also, he is an asshole, and we are allowed to be an asshole back to him, because he deserves it lol. After knowing him and arguing back and forth for probably a few weeks’ time, we kill him. We do it because he will kill us otherwise, as he does not value or see us as people, and he is only redeemed long after this fact. The reason people like Emet is partly in this and partly because his narrative is one of tragedy: the man he was would have hated the man he became, and our once friend in a past life became our enemy. Also he’s…a real person, but I digress.

To me the reason Sphene the program doesn’t work is because we have for some reason, decided to make Wuk Lamat the main decision maker throughout the second half. This isn’t a criticism of Wuk Lamat, she is going through the narrative according to her character. Our beautiful baby ruler is hopeful, and at the onset, presuming to broker a peace as an ambassador of her people. She is operating in the mode of “learn first, ask after”, because it’s worked for her before. And she so wants to believe in the good in people, and we love her for that! 

But she’s now up against something entirely different and the WoL and Scions are bafflingly mute on it. We didn’t become Wuk Lamat’s mentor to teach her to be the next WoL to carry our mantel, we did it to help her carry her fathers. Like Thancred and Urianger for Koana, our service to Wuk Lamat ended the moment she became the Vow of Resolve. So what needed to happen at this point is for Wuk Lamat and the WoL/Scions operating on equal terms as allies, rather than continuing to defer to her. Like our relationships to Hien and Rauhban, and so on, we defer to them when it comes to the citizenry and decision making on a nation level, but when it comes to world-ending shit they leave it to us. And honestly one of the first things we should have done is be like “Wuk Lamat you have known that girl for 5 hours and she’s outright stated she will kill literally everyone in the universe just so save like 500,000 of her own. I don’t think this one can be saved. Believe me I’ve seen it before. Also that’s not a girl it’s a robot”  

Because the reality this is a perfect storm, and the only wrench in it is that WoL/Scions are present. Here's where I wax poetic as an “old”. The conversation between the characters of the Spene program and Wuk Lamat, is actually perfect and reflective of a lot of issues we're dealing with today. “Sphene” is someone who cares deeply about her own, she is a kind person who visits terminal kids and brings them flowers….and this same person is perfectly willing to sacrifice anyone outside her circle for her own. She does not care about other people actually, just the ones important to her. But she does it with this with a cute twirl and a smile, so it’s disarming. If you ask her directly she won't say she'll throw others under the bus for her owns sake, but she will still do it. This kind of person exists and is incredibly dangerous, especially to those who are not familiar with it, like Wuk Lamat. 

When you have never encountered this sort of person, you struggle to see how these two conflicting views can work together. It’s actually fucking brilliant writing in that sense, because the fact that “Sphene” is a program with conflicting goals creates a perfectly logical way for this to work! The program has its main objective-the continued survival of its people aka Alexandrian citizens. It has its limiter, the memory data of Sphene, who was a kind person that desired peace and unity. This is why “Sphene” acts kindly and loving to her own people, but is equally ruthless when it comes to anyone outside this sphere. It’s “necessary” for their survival, and it “cannot” be changed, because “Sphene” literally cannot fathom other solutions. Real people who are like “Sphene” are able to do this too, they compartmentalize so that the narrative works in their own mind, and they cannot change this mindset unless challenged by outside pressures. Wuk Lamat’s struggle to logic out that the Sphene program is still a good person despite this echos a lot of real life people trying to figure it out.

And if it was just Wuk Lamat vs “Sphene” this would work. But the WoL and the Scions are there too, and they have seen it before. They watched it time and time again through their conflict with the Garleans and the Ascians. So the fact that no one speaks up about this repeating pattern unfolding is…bad. The writing wants so badly to put this point across that it has to pretend these other characters have suddenly gone brainless to do it. Any if not all of them should have spoken up to help Wuk Lamat in this moment, not just as a newfound ruler, but as her friends. So again the player is made to take a back seat while watching events unfold, only this time it's about 1,000 times more frustrating than waiting for Wuk Lamat to wrestle an alpaca. I’m glad in the end Wuk Lamat understood the problem was not solvable with peace, but I feel dissatisfied with my part in it because I should have been able to say something before we got to this point.

Where I feel DT is its strongest is in its writing about family, as well as its themes about death and grief. The writing around the Dawnservant and his children, their relationships with each other, the writing around Erenville and his mother, and even the brief segment with Krile and her parents, are all really good! 

The bond between Koana and Wuk Lamat I feel is without question, it's the easiest to understand. Between the fact that they’re adopted alongside Zoraal Ja, Wuk lamat’s relationship with Nakkia, and their earnest attempts to connect with Galool Ja, there is a lot of love in that family to have beyond blood and it's great to see!

But the writing shines so, so well between Erenville and Cacuia too. It was incredibly relatable to watch them struggle with their differences and similarities. Evernville’s growing frustrations while Cacuia continues to not just be work focused, but just go along her merry way in general while they BOTH decide ultimately not to address their issues until the very end- that is a very real and relatable familial experience for a lot of people [myself included lol]. Even Krile’s little awkward moment with her parents that she’s never met before is so on point I want to die of secondhand awkward. Bonus points of G’Raha being the one to fix it, because he’s like family to her and knows just what to do!

It’s weakest point here is in regards to Zoraal Ja and Galool Ja Ja sadly, but I think this is more to do with the fact that there just seems to be a missing piece of Zoraal Ja’s story in general?? There’s a suggestion of tension between the two, as Galool Ja Ja says something to the effect that he is the source of Zoraal Ja’s anger, but it's not explained beyond this. 

And while the writing around the soul usage and the memory uploading is a bit clunky [to say the least], the idea of the Endless and Living Memory itself is also quite good. It's a wish fulfillment fantasy really, not just in the idea of avoiding death, but in avoiding what death takes from us. The goals left undone and the things left unsaid. Wouldn't it be nice if death wasn't the end and we could do all the things we wanted and speak the words we needed when we didn't get the chance before? It would be nice…but it can't be that way. It's not how things are meant to be, and to do otherwise is to lose value in living life while you have it. There's a bittersweetness to the whole concept, and as someone who's lost older relatives to stroke and Alzheimer’s and had to comfort my brother at their wake reminding him that this is why we must value the time we have with those still with us…let's just say the Nakkia part hit home. 

I know this already so long, but here’s some other random shit I thought about while writing this but doesn't fit in the overall story discussion well before I close out:

The Scions themselves feel…almost like they are here because someone thought we’d be mad if they weren’t. And don’t get me wrong I’m glad they are here, but it feels like a bit of a stretch for some. Alphie, Alisae and Krile make perfect sense, they have reasonable motivations for coming along.  In the case of Urianger and Thancred I’m mostly just mad we never actually got to fight lmao. Estinien…well I guess he is a wandering hobo just short of being an adventurer himself [affectionate]. And then by the time G’Raha and Y’Shtola arrive its like “oh finally! Are they going to like…actually get to do stuff though at this point?” and the answer is…kinda. They get to be the answers people. Again it mostly comes around to the second half being…ehhh??? The fact that we had to write out a reason to keep several of them out of the golden city was a little telling. Not like Alisae was being allowed to do anything as it was =7=; [I know I keep looking at her expectantly specifically but it's because she tends to be the most outspoken when things are nonsensical lol]

Who the fuck was Galool Ja's mom? Where IS Zoraal Ja's mom?? Hell we also meet Wuk Lamat's birth father but where is her birth mother??? I know she's got Nakkiah, that’s not the point! She just doesn’t exist! Koana's the only one that has an explanation on why his are missing. WHAT IS THIS DISNEY BULLSHIT, anyways-

Maybe a minor note but also the Echo was used...hardly at all? This isn't as much a hard criticism as just puzzlement. I know as a narrative tool, something like the Echo is a thing to be used sparingly. Usually they use it to "show don't tell" a thing we need to know but were not witness to [or as a flashback], and it makes sense that for really learning about new cultures that we wouldn't really want this right now. But I remember thinking "wow, been a while since we did this" when it finally happened. And it stuck me that like, this usually would have happened at least once or twice before this point. I'm surprised we never had it to gain insight to Zoraal Ja like Krile seemed to, or honestly, the second after Bakool Ja Ja fled after defeat from Wuk Lamat would have been a prime moment. And yet it did not happen. It almost feels like the writers either forgot about the Echo for a while, or simply deliberately avoided it to the point of its absence feeling unusual. Both are...hmm.

I’m sure I will think of other things later but this is already horrendously long so maybe it’s best to leave it at this and tack on other points later. In the end I mostly ruminate on all of this because previous expansions were more satisfying or more tightly written. Some of them had their issues, HW had some pacing problems with the Ul'Dah stuff and Stormblood had some awkwardness in pacing throughout, but on the whole I found these expansions fun and satisfying anyways. I don't ask that the game be doing a 10/10 all the time. It just can't lol but I do want the plot to make to at least make sense in its own rules and by the characters in it. If the characters in your story suddenly have to behave differently for your message to work, then changes need to be made to your story. Whether this means changing things about your plot, or creating situations to keep certain elements from disrupting it. And it seems that they went with the latter, but in the most ham-fisted ways possible sadly. Hopefully things will straighten out when the story picks up for the eventual continuation of the story.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

apologies to all of my followers but i'm gonna continue being insane abt ff14. no end in sight. hope everyone bothered by that has blocked the tag by now

anyway anytime i say literally anything abt zenos' narrative position i feel the need to preface it with a VERY large "ymmv dependent on your wol" disclaimer bc even if it's got nothing to do with shana and is entirely canon based i know the degree of like. reciprocity there. varies wildly. anyway pretend i said that better the important thing is i'm yes-anding his bit. anyway

ANYWAY i think zenos and ardbert are really great narrative parallels.

like, to both of them, the wol is their only friend and equal. both of them share or believe they share a kind of experience and mentality with you that basically nobody else could understand. both of them show up after all of your other friends/allies have been completely stomped by an expansion's final boss, while you're the last one dragging yourself forward, to be the one who helps you to victory. they both, in some sense, give their life to you (ardbert gives his remaining aether to put your soul back together, zenos cuts his head off rather than live outside your fight and then rides to the end of reality for you later if you don't want to count that one). they both get their dead body possessed by elidibus, which is more of a "two nickels" thing than a total parallel but i think it's fun so i'm putting it here anyway. they both serve as both enemies and allies at different points in the story without changing their core mission statement much at all.

they are also diametric opposites. obviously.

i think to a degree they are expressions/mirrors of two semi-opposing sides of the wol. The Hero and The Hunter. ardbert is the other half of your soul, the warrior of light, and by his own admission his favorite part of the job was never the battle itself, it was the calm that came afterwards. the warmth and security of knowing they'd helped and protected people. he lives and dies by those bonds - he's got a whole party behind him, and they all choose to give their lives twice over to try and give norvrandt a tomorrow. his stand with you is him remembering that fact, reaffirming his desire to help them despite the struggles. he cares deeply abt the world, abt giving them hope. your fight against hades is a manifestation of that determination. you'll drag each other up no matter how much it hurts because goddammit this world is yours and you are not going to stand by and let it die.

zenos by contrast is nothing so lofty. he does not give a flying fuck about people's hopes, or pain, or any of their emotions, or the general concept of tomorrow. he is the part of the wol that is the hunter, the person they become in the heat of battle that scares the shit out of their enemies. the one who finds joy in their work not bc they know it's bringing hope and light to the world but purely bc of the thrill of it. you are an adventurer—you wouldn't do what you do if you didn't find some pleasure in it. his bond with you is completely inextricable from your capacity for violence. he throws off the endsinger's despair not bc he gives you hope but bc hope and despair are foreign objects to him. he reminds you that your friends, the star, the hopes and dreams of reality are all outside the room, and inside it is just you, and your enemy, and you are nothing before you are death to your enemies. so why the fuck is it not dead yet.

like, you could make the case that it's the Best and the Worst, but i think that's only circumstantially true bc again: the wol couldn't be the wol, couldn't keep fighting and winning the way they do, if that part of them wasn't there. but i DO think it is a very present duality, that they reflect matching and opposite parts of you—the part that fights for love of the world, and the part that does it for love of the game.

[elizabethrobertajones]

"I'm so relieved to have you at my side, my loves," G'raha declared. "The fate of the star was not just in my hands, but yours too, and I cannot say how proud I am of us."

"Even me?" asked Frog, as Erenville rolled his eyes and tried not to look affected by the praise, despite the please twitch of his ears.

"Even you and the Gleaners did your part, Bounding Frog."

Day 5: Alternate Universe | In Another Life

"Oh, I don't think much about alternate universes except joke ones where Frog runs off with the Fuath but there's not like any lore or anything - Oh my god that one time Frog trolled Erenville by pretending to be a new Gleaner." *immediately comes up with 3 pages of backstory*

Anyway meet fucked up Allagan bloodline Erenville, Gleaner Frog and Warrior of Light G'raha :D (I really ought to have made Frog's colour scheme without the pink but it's so much a part of her I forgot it's from her Azem legacy until long after I posed and took the picture :P Really, G'raha should have pink highlights and a pink eye since I only have 1 canon Azem who is the forebear of any WoL in any AU I have and they have the Blessing of Pastel Pink Aesthetics they pass on)

Not a canon relationship as of the current waning days of Endwalker we're in and I can feel Frog trying to kill me with her mind for putting her this close to Erenville because this is currently her Nemesis and I am being a very bad blorbo caretaker by shipping them before plot has elapsed... But Erenville doesn't scare me as much as Y'shtola does so I can get away with it as long as Frog can't become so OP she can reach out of the fourth wall and murder me :P May be a level 100 ability but I hope the narrative gives me an opportunity to set her up with Erenville before then. And of course I ship G'rerenville 5eva.

WoL!G'raha's special interest wouldn't just be Allagan horrors but ALL the horrors and he'd know the most about manipulating aether for combat against primals and how to kill them all. It's joked that Hydaelyn blessed him with the Echo because she wanted to spare him bothering Krile with any more questions and tests and puzzles, and gave him the Blessing of Light so he could go off and do his own research. He made a beeline for the Scions of the Seventh Dawn and became their champion with a try hard attitude and known for his enthusiastic thumbs up whenever tasked with the hardest task.

Erenville diligently and quietly studied all he could on Allagan Horrors to learn what his family's dark secret was, but never made it too well known why he was studying it, or that his one gold one red eyes were anything strange. However, his quiet competence got him sent to Erozea to help Rammbroes, and despite all his attempts to lay low, he found himself there at the unlocking of the Crystal Tower, learning way too much about himself in front of people who couldn't unhear it, and pushed along by an over-enthusiastic Warrior of Light who could not shut up about how great an advantage such a magical connection could be. Still, Erenville is calm and professional and when the time came and he knew there was no other way, he shooed the Sons of St Coinach out of the Tower and looked almost dispassionately over his shoulder to G'raha and bid him farewell.

The Exarch was, of course, 1000x more impenetrably vague and annoying but - and this was rather difficult for the Exarch to handle - the huge dark ears sticking out of his hood did give G'raha a hint about who he may be dealing with, though he suspected all sorts of terrible things like Allagan clone or robot and so on before daring to hope it was truly Erenville - when he realised the plan was to tidily pack himself and the Light away with a minimum of melodrama and fuss. This was mostly because of the extremely intricate plans for running the Crystarium in his absence that Erenville had bequeathed before they left for Mt Gulg. It was all just too like him.

G'raha made a ten times more melodramatic intervention while actively coughing up Light everywhere, but Emet-Selch is going to Emet-Selch and can't stand the Warrior of Light being as big a drama queen as he is so he just shoots Erenville and kidnaps him to the Tempest because he's fed up of G'raha talking and posing. A rescue was mounted, love confessed, everyone forgave everyone and cried a lot etc etc.

Erenville joined the Scions after that and provided a sensible counterpoint, inexplicably becoming close to Alisaie (she reminds him of Wuk Lamat but he still hasn't disclosed an onze of backstory).

When they come to Sharlayan for help to stop the final days, they meet an over-worked but still cheerful Gleaner who can lift a whole Troll over her shoulder, and is very helpful and friendly winking and showing them the secret paths. Of course, Bounding Frog is a born Gleaner - she's loved animals forever and had mapped the whole mountain ecosystem around her home village. Sent to Sharlayan by her parents to study the things she loves, she'd quickly risen through the ranks of the Gleaners to become one of their trustiest hands.

She did see through G'raha hopping around as a frog instantly, and on hearing of the incident Erenville only wryly said "I'm sure I could have played a better toad." This could not be disputed, as Y'shtola refused to cast the spell frivolously to settle their debate.

Frog kept in contact and kept them updated on events in Sharlayan once they left to take the fight to the Telophoroi and kept them updated on the Blasphemies once the final days began; by the time G'raha returned from Elpis having learned of an Azem somehow even more annoying that the most annoying interpretation of Azem you've previously heard of, they had all become very fond of one another. By the time they set off for the stars, G'raha and Erenville had admitted to each other they both had a huge crush on the huge Gleaner, and she in turn was waiting for their return more anxious for them than the entire fate of the star.

And of course once they came back from Ultima Thule, Frog's only problem was working out which one of them to smooch first, before carrying G'raha off somewhere quiet to sit and hug and be extremely relieved and happy together :')

[sunderedazem]

18. — endless

This prompt was also sent in an ask by @unbreakable-oaths~! Thank you both for the prompt - and I'm sorry it took me so long to answer. Have my teenage WoL being an angsty new Dark Knight mess in the aftermath of Rhalgr's Reach!

18 - Endless

Ala Mhigo is hell.

Not, of course, for the people that inhabit it. They’re a good people, if yet downtrodden and rightfully fearful of conflict. Not even for the Garleans that think they own it, as odious as the notion is. Nor for those Ala Mhigans with Garlean names and titles, the children born to the dregs of both societies - no, those like Fordola he can only offer grim compassion.

Ala Mhigo is hell for the fact that he is months shy of twenty and yet has seen and dealt more death than even Temple Knights who have served for decades. Ala Mhigo is hell because he isn’t yet an adult, by Ishgard’s standards, though he’s long since been considered such everywhere else and yet he feels older than nineteen on an exponential scale. Ala Mhigo is hell because for all he was once a healer- 

All he can do now is kill. 

And with every Echo that screams in his soul- he sees the faces of loved ones not his own. He sees the desperation of conscripts who cannot flee lest their families suffer. He sees the blind faith of Garleans who truly think they’re helping. He sees the determination of those who see a monster when they see him, sees his legacy through their eyes as one of only blood. He sees the tears and smiles of siblings and children and lovers and parents and knows he takes, and takes and takes. 

And it is endless.

He does not tell Lelesu. She would want to know, of course- but she is in Doma now, and though he means to follow her as soon as he can he has yet to heal enough to walk unaided.

The pain of the blow Zenos yae Galvus dealt to him in Rhalgr’s Reach - cutting through his flesh and bone like so much butter, because he dared to take the time to worry for Y’shtola. Because he dared to worry for Lelesu. Because of simple distraction, simple arrogance-

Those moments are still burnt into his memory. The sudden frigid breathlessness, the baffled clarity of watching blood splatter, the way the world spun. The way realization set in when that first heartbeat sputtered and died in his chest. The ice in his veins- the warmth of water pooling beneath him, red with life. 

Lelesu’s fear.

It will happen again. He knows it will. Better him than someone else, of course- he’s already stained the world enough, wet the ground with the blood of others, enemies and dear friend alike, and even now his own. But how can he carry on, when it will never end? Not for him, at least. Not until it takes his life. 

He used to be a healer, once. Until the moment came where healing failed.

And now he bleeds, just like everyone else that he couldn’t save.

Corrain looks down at his hands. He feels like he’s drifting to see the skin clear, and not stained red, weeping the sorrow he wishes he could feel in place of the anger. In place of the loss. But maybe it’s better this way. 

Maybe it’s better to be monstrous. To let Lelesu keep the mantle of the Warrior, while he become the Weapon in truth. That way- at least when the dust settles and the people cry for those they have lost, they may have someone to bleed for it. And better him than someone else.

If the violence must be endless, then at least he will be the target it can be drawn to. At least he can save others like that, still.

“...Corrain? Are you feeling alright?”

He blinks. The sun is low on the horizon, the sky bleeding red over Castrum Oriens, and he sits quietly in a small covered tent attached to the Alliance infirmary, watching the sunset. Krile has come to find him, then. He must be approaching another treatment, or dose of painkiller, or something.

“...I’m fine,” he says, and the words are ash on his tongue. But he turns to Krile and tries to smile. “...plotting my escape so I can follow Lele to Doma.”

It’s enough of a misdirection that Krile’s concerned expression fades immediately into exasperated scolding.

“You most certainly shall not be escaping, young man. You have only just been allowed out of bed these past two days, and you still cannot walk without being under observation, lest you collapse under the strain,” she huffs. “And I’ll not see any of my hard work wasted, thank you.”

The banter is familiar. It should be familiar, easy to engage with. But- he tries to laugh. He does. And the smile doesn’t catch, doesn’t reach his eyes, and Krile’s stern gaze softens. 

“...Oh. Oh dear. You will be well soon, I promise.”

He blinks, tightens his grip on the armrest of the chair he’s been allowed to sit in. Saltwater gathers on his eyelashes.

“...I know. I’m fine.”

There’s something crestfallen in her face. He can’t bring himself to look. His heart aches for it, and yet…he has no right to cry here. It’s nothing he hasn’t inflicted on others.

He swallows the pain and smiles again. 

“Just a little frustrated with my current situation,” he explains, and it’s even true. Krile doesn’t appear to buy in, of course. But what can she say? 

All he can do is kill. Primals, people, predators- it is all he can do. But he is what this life has forged him into. A Weapon of Light. And so- he must be as iron or steel. For the battle will continue, and when it ends another will arise, and another, and another.

And it will be endless.

Compliant with "your boldness stands alone among the wreck", the series @azems-familiar and I share where Corrain and Lelesu are co-WoLs!

[jujuna-ffxiv]

Jujuna Juna

Nickname: Juju. She is only called this by people close to her.

Age: late twenties

Nameday: 5th Sun of the 5th Umbral Moon (it’s my irl birthday)

Race: Dunesfolk Lalafell

Gender: cis woman

Orientation: Bisexual, no preference.

Profession: Lancer

Physical Appearance

Hair: long, brown hair kept in two space/double buns.

Eyes: emerald green

Skin: tan (is that a skin tone?)

Tattoos/Scars: none as of yet

Family

Parents: unknown. I haven’t got a backstory for her yet since she’s still pretty new to me and I’m relatively new to Eorzea.

She left her home in search of more. She craved adventure and she wanted to help change the world.

Skills

Abilities: Skilled lancer on her way to becoming a Dragoon.

Traits

Most positive trait: Jujuna is an optimist and very helpful, probably to a fault. She tries very hard to be selfless and make sure everyone is taken care of. She will stand beside her friends through hell and high water, never abandoning anyone in need.

Most negative trait: Jujuna never voices when she needs help which often causes her great stress. The people close to her notice this pretty quickly as she becomes quiet and is less cheerful, of course she’ll slap a smile on and tell you she’s okay.

Likes

Colours: Marigold, Emerald Green and most shades of blue.

Smells: coffee, baked goods, flowers and fruits.

Textures: she loves how water feels when floating in it. The feeling of spring grass on her bare feet.

Drinks: coffee, fruity drinks (alcoholic and non)

Other Details

Smokes: she does not, but doesn’t mind people smoking around her.

Drinks: she does! More so with friends than solo, but she loves to drink fruity cocktails. She’s a big fan of mixed drinks.

Drugs: Nope! She doesn’t do drugs.

Mount Issuance: her chocobo, Pearl.

Been arrested: Not yet.

———

This is can also potentially change but this is how I view Jujuna right now. I’m still really new to this space so I figure these kinds of things would help me to understand my WoL a lot better.

Thank you so much for the tag @gatheredfates!! This was a lot of fun to do and it really helped me to think about my character more.

I’d like to tag @iona-xiv @airis-ray @pawnguild and @zerelth if they’d like to do it! Or anyone that sees this is welcome to :)

[andrewhq]

(i wanted to write a conversation g'raha would have with my wol that i might turn into a comic someday)

- G'raha enters Ziero's cabin in Tuliyollal, after some idle chatter, he pauses before speaking again. -

G'raha: You know, I realized after our conversation on the gondola, that I do not know much about... you. The current you. Most of what I know about you, I gathered from various pieces of your legacy. I don't think I've ever sat down with you and gotten to know you.

Ziero: Hah! Aw, it's very sweet that you're asking, but truly there isn't really that much to me than my legacy. Most of my life was... this.

G'raha: What do you... mean?

Ziero: Well, before I became the Warrior of Light, I was just a simple tailor, like one of my fathers also is for my tribe. And on top of that... I was a child. Even when I began adventuring. I just so happened to be in Thanalan when I ended up helping Brendt fend off his camp, and he suggested I should talk to the Adventurer's Guild because he just had this strong feeling I'd be able to help.

G'raha: Wait, wait. You were a child?

Ziero: Yes, I only turned eighteen less than two months before my tribe arrived in Thanalan!

G'raha: Like... Viera years' eighteen?

Ziero: There's no such thing! We mature about the same Hyurs, so...

G'raha: So that means you're...

Ziero: Twenty-one, now? Yeah!

G'raha: I thought you were so much older...

Ziero: I suppose constantly being at war and saving people ages you. I suppose if we're being technical about it, I'm twenty-three, given that I was close to turning twenty-one when you called me to the first, and I spent about a year there.

G'raha: That's still so... young.

Ziero: I suppose it is!

G'raha: Does it bother you? That you never really got to live your childhood until the end?

Ziero: Not really, no. Maybe if I was forced to do it, I'd mourn what I never got the chance to live, but instead I see it as living as the folklore hero people tell to impress children!

G'raha: I cannot fathom how you can stay positive so easily... Did nothing ever break you?

Ziero: Ah...

- He instinctively reaches for the eye under his eyepatch. -

Ziero: I... ought to be thankful for my parents being positive beacons in my life as well. I know it hurt them to know I was risking my life out there, and my mother never did hide the fact that she was worried for me, and neither of my fathers would let me go back adventuring until they were as certain as possible I wasn't hurt. But the three of them loved me so much, and cared for me so deeply, so I could always go to them when things were too much. But there was, ah... two times when I was completely inconsolable, I suppose.

G'raha: I do not intend to pry, so you do not have to answer, but I must ask what got you to that point?

- Ziero pauses for a long time, clenching his fists. -

Ziero: It... it was Zenos.

- G'raha's ears perk up. -

G'raha: Zenos? Did he—

Ziero: I loved him in a way that words could not describe.

- G'raha goes quiet. -

Ziero: I cannot deny the fact that we were always meant to be mirrors of each other. I always wanted to understand him, and I struggled with it for a bit, when someone just so happened to tell me his age... And I quickly realized just how similar we are. We were both children when we got roped into the war. Our differences were also our similarities. I grew up in a peaceful, loving family that was always there for me when I needed them, he grew up in a family that was disgusted with his very existence and only saw him as a weapon of war. And yet... we were both outsiders, fighting for causes that weren't our own, but we had enough motives to push through them.

G'raha: I had heard he was a cruel man...

Ziero: Funny how people say that, yet I could count on my fingers how many people Zenos actually harmed, because he never fought or killed anyone that couldn't stand a chance against him. Meanwhile, the blood on my hands is endless, from people who were much weaker than I. Is that not ironic?

G'raha: I... I suppose, when you put it that way... And yet the calamity—

Ziero: Was Fandaniel's plan. And I do not blame Zenos for following him. After being only seen as a beast, a dog that should be beat and put in a cage, do you truly think he would not resent the world? He truly thought he was being merciful, just like Meteion.

G'raha: I never thought of Meteion and Zenos as similar, and yet, based on what you told me in the past, it all makes so much sense... It's like we were being foreshadowed of her existence.

Ziero: Hah, pretty much. Still, I've made my point, so to actually answer your question: When Zenos killed himself, it ruined me. Not only did I feel like I failed him, but I felt like I failed myself as well. We had secretly spent a lot together, because I so desperately wanted to get to know him, to understand him. And he'd always let me in, sometimes with the promise of a spar, sometimes... because we were both lonely. I was such a mess in love, and there was that air of forbidden romance like in stories I'd hear around Kugane. Since my tribe decided to follow me to Othard, I'd never miss a chance to go speak with my parents and tell them all about this wild romance I was having. Truly, I felt the most like a hero back then. And yet when I lost Zenos, it crushed me beyond words. I cried for days in my mother's lap and did not speak to anyone else. I had to keep strong and let the Ala Mihgans celebrate their victories. I almost began to resent Lyse for being so... content with his death, but it was just misplaced grief.

G'raha: I can certainly empathize with that... Then, was the second time still Zenos, I assume?

Ziero: Yup. Though the second time was... a little bit different. I realize now, in retrospect, that I could have just denied him that fight, and he'd have to keep living. Yet I was so... selfish. I held on to that last bit of grief for him and ended up taking it out on the exact person I was grieving. I was angry when I found out he was still alive, it felt like everything he did was to mock me, but... No, it never was.

G'raha: I'm sorry... You must miss him greatly, then.

Ziero: Well, about that— I didn't actually... let him go... I hold his soul, you see. And I can always channel him as my avatar.

G'raha: You what?!

Ziero: Hahah, oops!

G'raha: Why didn't you tell anyone!

Ziero: I didn't want to put anyone in a panic, given how many people despise him. Plus, it'd be insane to explain either way. Zero knows, though. It was because of her that I managed to figure out how to make him my avatar, and she certainly got some enjoyment knowing how he would feel being bound to someone like that. And now you know too.

G'raha: I'm starting to become less surprised that you are as young as you claim to be.

Ziero: I'm not lying! I never even learned how to read!

G'raha: YOU NEVER LEARNED WHAT?!?!

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

How do you think your WOL feels about the other Scions?

Under a readmore because it got kind of long!

Thancred: I had an Ul'dah start, so he was her first connection with the Scions! Very proud of how he's grown as a person in the time she's known him. Teases him mercilessly in the most affectionate of ways. Probably hooked up with him at some point early on; they don't talk about it these days, but mostly because that's not where their relationship landed

Y'shtola: Absolute greatest respect and a little bit of fear. She trusts Y'shtola's words and plans pretty much more than almost anyone else she knows--UNLESS Flow is involved. Please stop solving problems with Flow we're running out of ways to pull you back out. Fully supports all of her high level mage nonsense and wants to help with her dimension-crossing thing any way she can.

Urianger: At this point, if Urianger starts doing something that superficially looks like plotting against the group, she takes it on faith that he knows what he's doing and has a good reason. When he eventually confesses his duplicity and cries for forgiveness, she wraps him in the tightest hug and goes "it's fine, look, don't worry about it. I know you." Will listen to him endlessly even if she only grasps a fraction of what he's talking about

Alphinaud: Baby brother. Incandescently proud of him and the capable young man he's become in the time she's known him. When he called her his family in Eulmore she got a little misty-eyed; considers him and Alisaie basically actual family. The only person whose plans she trusts about Y'shtola's. He's going to be a great leader someday, and she hopes she can be helpful when that day comes.

Alisaie: Baby sister. If Alphinaud is the twin she loves but doesn't understand, Alisaie is the one she understands in every mote of her being; Alisaie is basically her but younger. Do NOT leave the two of them alone to carry out some part of a plan, they enable each other's most reckless and ill-advised impulses and will yes-and each other until only fire lives here now. (Probably my favorite of the scions)

G'raha: Her spouse's boyfriend. Not her type as a lover; something closer than a friend; ranks just below the twins on the list of "people I would kill and/or die for". Raha is an absolutely essential pillar of her life at this point so please stop trying to martyr yourself godsdammit. If ever she has a dilemma she can't see a way out of, or if she wants a second opinion of something, he's her first thought

Estinien: Understands him as a brother-in-arms and lets him dictate the terms of their friendship (so they're not super close, but warm enough when their paths cross). Keeps tabs on him for Aymeric's peace of mind as best she can. There's few people she trusts more to have her back in a fight. Makes a point to treat him to a meal anytime they see each other because she still fully does not trust him with money and wants to be sure he's eating

Krile: Worked closely with her for an extended period of time on the displaced Isle of Val and got to know her in that time. Krile is probably the scion that knows the most of her secret fears and uncertainties; my character feels it's only fair after Krile trusted her with her own survivor's guilt over being the only one to escape the isle. Despite Krile being younger than her, considers her a bit of a "responsible adult" and can be reined in by her

Tataru: Bestie!! Eternally indebted to her as the beating heart of the Scions. Would move mountains for her. Probably relies on her quite a bit as someone who's also started selling her crafts (mostly soup lately) and sells out of her storefronts. Every aimless adventurer needs a pragmatic tether to the real world, and Tataru is hers. They get together every so often to gossip and catch up, when my character makes it back to town

[yamisnuffles]

character ask meme! 5, 6, and 9 for estinien.

oh, heck, and give me 15 for emet-selch. i mean, i know, but i want to read your words.

5. What’s the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Honestly, it's boring because it's just the song Heavensward from the OST. The expansion is obviously sort of his star moment and it's the song that plays when you fight Nidhogg, which was also a pivotal moment for Aubrey with him. So it will forever be his song in my head.

6. What’s something you have in common with this character?

While certainly not a constant, I can relate to his tendency to be a bit too blunt. I can appreciate the need to sugar coat things but, especially with friends, I tend to just say shit. Like him, it's not really born of any ill will or anything. Sometimes I just don't have the patience to BS through things. Related, but I would also jump out a window to escape awkward social situations if I could.

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

Oh, totally. He seems like he'd be a real chill roommate? You know, after his blood caked armor phase, I think it would be nice. We'd both do our own thing. I enjoy a fair amount of solitude. So does he. We both can go in for a heartfelt talk when it's really needed. Pick him up some squid to snack on sometimes and we'd be golden.

15. What’s your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn’t matter if it’s canon or not.)

You do know, but I'll say it anyway. Hythazemet, which I think is pretty thoroughly canon whether people like to accept it or not lol. I think that the three of them have a fun dynamic together and they all just love each other so much that it hurts. In life they did everything they could to support each other, with Azem pushing Hades' reluctant ass into the seat of Emet-Selch and dragging him out to the world they both so loved. Not to mention Hythlodaeus literally giving EVERYTHING in the hopes that they could carry on. He didn't think he had the strength to fight, but he was willing to give up his chance at rebirth if it meant he could help. Hythlodaeus continues to be their biggest supporters, even in death, helping you on the moon both because you're a shard of Azem and because you won Emet's approval.

And Emet-Selch. He went against everything he once stood for and carried on through a thousand thousand lifetimes trying desperately to bring back the world and people he loved (and still loves). Even when he was miserable. Even when he wanted to give up. He carries on and he remembers because only he, in all of existence, still can. One of the first scenes with him in ShB proper, we see him find a glimmer of hope after so long simply because he recognizes the color of your soul. He defied the Convocation created Azem's memory crystal in secret so that they would live on and when you call through it, he comes even in death.

I also really like Emet/WoL but only if it's messed up in just the right way LOL.

[noxtivagus]

don't mind me just dumping in tumblr a lot 🫶🏼

[sigmundite]

my thoughts on dawntrail (SPOILERS)

FFXIV twitter has decided the spoiler embargo for DT is mostly over. While I'd like to share my thoughts about the expac there, I figured it was all too much for a tweet thread (and I was right). Decided to post it here because it's a blogging platform and I keep telling myself I want to come back one of these days.

To put it simply: Dawntrail is fine.

I love power of love/friendship storylines so the fact we got a shounen protagonist in Wuk Lamat was something I enjoyed. Shounen stuff tends to be dragged out too long for my tastes so I haven't dabbled in any of those fandoms, so I don't know if people hate modern shounen heroes with as much vitriol. I think I'd have seen it if they did? But the Wuk Lamat hate is a classic case of misogyny with a transphobia multiplier because gamers sure do enjoy stat boosts.

DT is the ARR of whatever the new direction of FFXIV is. It became clear to me during this MSQ that this is a commitment to a new beginning - specifically in the sense of 6.1 as a fresh starting point for new players. I understand and respect their desire to simplify new player onboarding (especially as someone with too many alts) but it's also the center of the pain point I have with 6.x and DT so far.

I'm frustrated with the direction of FFXIV in its current state. The Hydaelyn/Zodiark arc took one main story and built upon it over multiple chapters. I loved that arc and have varying levels of fondness for the characters and places that got us through it. I am the CEO of #FREEAYMERIC and will continue to be a pest about that as long as I play the game*. Aymeric was always a favorite of mine, and I've never forgotten his wish to go on an adventure with WoL someday. I want to take him up on that!

But DT follows SHB's example of planting WoL and the Scions in a brand new setting, far away from Eorzea and all its creature comforts. Norvrandt was still reminiscent of Eorzea, but beyond that focused on characters specific to its region and story. It made more sense then, considering it takes place on a different shard and overlap was damn near impossible. 6.x and DT are still on Etheirys, but are so self-contained that they'd rather avoid referencing old content if they can avoid it. I hated this in 6.x and I still hate it now. There's an entire world full of characters, places, and possibilities left to discover and expand on, but new expansion packs seem to be heading in the direction of dropping all that and focusing on a new set of toys. Tural will probably be done and dusted in 8.0, aside from a bit of side content here and there regardless of the response to it. Hell, SHB is so sacred to the fandom and yet we only went back for a bit of patch story and crafting relic quests during EW's entire run!

This sort of "okay, next" manner of storytelling is only one side of my issue. On the flip side is how eagerly they seem to want to retread certain tropes that worked in past expacs. So many people have commented on this being the fourth final dungeon in a row that shows the end of a society and how that feels so much more hollow now. Running Amaurot for the first time was a masterpiece of storytelling because it made the end of the fucking world more tangible. I hate running that dungeon because to me it feels like a panic attack, but I respect what it does. The Dead Ends was similar but didn't hit the same way (and tbh its payoff is mostly backloaded). Alexandria pulling the same thing stole all of the feeling from it. Like oh okay, we're doing this again.

It's not the only part of DT that retreads old ground. We have yet another scene where everyone comes together to overcome a seemingly insurmountable obstacle, and the only thing I found noteworthy about that is that it had shards of characters who had helped us do the same thing in SHB outside of the dreary context of Norvrandt. Zoraal Ja, one of the main antagonists, is comprised of retreads of other story arcs done better (including one in this very expac!). He's like Zenos Lite - a royal heir with violent intentions made into the perfect weapon of his homeland - but he's missing all of the things that made Zenos interesting and the screen time needed to flesh him out. The circumstances of Zoraal Ja's birth weigh heavily upon him, but Bakool Ja Ja covered that territory in one of the strongest parts of the MSQ. Zoraal Ja is such an afterthought that bringing him into the shared Dawnservant title isn't even considered. WTF.

TL;DR: This all comes down to FFXIV being torn between retreading well-tread story beats that have worked for them in the past while at the same time, willingly discarding almost everything you've come to love over the past several hundred hours of gameplay. They're trying to recreate their past successes by using shiny new pieces in frameworks that have worked for them in the past, and that rings hollow to me. My love for the old pieces overshadows my impressions of the new ones, but the structural similarity is so blatant that comparison is inevitable. As time goes on, the comparisons are less and less in DT's favor for me, but that doesn't mean it's bad. It succeeded in what it set out to do: expand FFXIV.

It's fine, but if FFXIV is a choice between familiar storytelling and familiar story elements, I'd rather they keep developing the friends we've already made along the way.

*Which may not be long, given the lighting issues introduced by the graphical update and the fact that doing certain things in game trigger IRL migraines for me. Still no official acknowledgment of that yet. The graphics update is the biggest step forward in DTm and yet its existence and problematic state make me play the game less. I hate it but efforts to get the devs to notice have been unsuccessful.

If you made it this far, please perceive my catgirl:

[spidersfanfics]

A Cold Wind Blows

Warrior of Light x Urianger | Minor WoL x Haurchefant | Minor Urianger x Moenbryda

The Warrior of Light mourns the passing of a dear friend on the anniversary of his death. And subsequently opens their heart to another.

A cold wind blew through Ishgard as Eorzea’s champion wandered the streets of Ishgard somewhat forlornly. The anniversary of a dear friend’s untimely departure was coming up and it was all you could think about these days. Even as the bitter chill snapped at your ankles, bidding you to move quickly, a deep melancholy slowed your steps until you were liable to freeze solid.

All knew enough of your relationships to allow their hero time to visit the grave on the day of. But as much as you would have gladly spent a whole week there, you knew better than to shirk your duties for that long. So instead of reminiscing on your past love, you roamed the city your knight in shining armor had given his life to protect. Feeling lost and restless.

Eventually, even the bravest of heroes had to concede that frostbite cared not for status. So you made your way back to the Forgotten Knight. Sure you would always have lavish living quarters with House Fortemps if you asked. But in times like these, it would only encourage you to shut yourself off from the world.

The barkeep waves to you as you enter but one look at your somber expression was enough to remind him of the date. So he simply nods and hands you a room key. “I’ll let the scions know where to find you if they ask?” He says softly, half statement, half question.

You nod once in response. If your friends needed you, you’d put on a brave face. And in the meantime you’ll indulge yourself in some wallowing. It got easier all the time to remember him for the way he lived, not the way he died. But at this time of the year the wound always stung. And even Hydaelyn’s chosen was only mortal.

You’d hardly settled into staring out the window however, when there came a knock at the door. Well that was quick. It seems the universe is not on your side today and you wonder what threat you were to face this time. No matter, duty is duty. You open the door.

“I hope I’m not interrupting thy peace?” Oh, it’s Urianger.

Your heart leaps into your throat as you notice what Urianger held in his hands. Two mugs of hot chocolate, just like another fair-haired elezen so long ago. And to make matters worse, this particular elezen also had a bad habit of turning you into a flustered mess.

Why was he here now? Today of all days. When it was too confusing and too painful to sort out your feelings. When every heartbeat echoed twice, first with longing then with guilt. The mage or the knight, to whom do you turn to? And now you’ve taken entirely too long to answer. So instead of stammering out a nonsensical reply, you do as the Warrior of Light does best. A stoic nod and a step back to indicate that Urianger was free to enter.

Urianger smiles softly and moves past you to set the mugs on the desk. “I heard thou wert feeling down, and for good reason. So I thought to bring thee something with which to soothe the soul. And perhaps offer a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear.” He shrugs awkwardly, “Thou has oft been the recipient of many a woe. I wanted to return the favor. Or, failing that, give whatever thou might desire in its stead.”

You can’t deny that his presence might help pull you out of the state you’ve been stuck in. So you scan the room for a place to sit and realize this inn is sorely lacking in chairs. Without any other options to speak of, you settle down on the edge of the bed and gesture for Urianger to join you. Which he does after only a moment of hesitation.

“Prithee speak, my friend,” Urianger says gently as he reaches over to pass you one of the hot chocolates. “Expression of emotion has seldom been my strong suit, but I wish now to share the burdens thou beareth. So tell me what thoughts troubleth thee so, and darkenth thy spirits.”

With shaky hands, you raise the mug to your lips and take a sip. Delicious of course, no doubt prepared by Tataru at Alphinaud’s request, or something of the like. After all, you felt certain this mini intervention was on behalf of all the scions, who’d simply chosen Urianger as their spokesperson. You wonder briefly if this meant that the others knew of your conflicted feelings. Then decided it didn’t matter, because even if they did, Urianger himself was surely oblivious.

The man in question seemed to take your silence for reluctance, rather than contemplation. As he hummed thoughtfully for a moment, then spoke. “I understand. Thou hath always been one of few words. So if it pleases thee, I would be glad to speak instead of mine own experiences. So that thou might feel less alone. Would that be better?”

You nod. That’s probably a much smarter idea. The longer he spent sitting here, in your room and drinking hot chocolate by your side, the more you were liable to say something stupid and impulsive. Better just to let him talk. He was so good at it anyway.

“I know thou wert close with Master Haurchefant, his loss must touch thee in ways few others can imagine,” he begins softly. “I myself have been subject to such loss before. A dear friend and dearer companion, to whom I was never able to speak the words. I know how isolating it can be. But I hope thou wilt remember that thou art never alone. For as long as thou hath us, your family.”

That’s right, Moenbryda. Urianger didn’t speak of her often. More now, certainly, than in the months following her death. But even so, it was always a touchy subject for him. And understandably so. They were close, perhaps even in the same way that you were with Haurchefant. After all, had you two not also lacked the time to say the words you wanted desperately to say? “I’m sorry,” you manage.

Urianger looks at you in surprise, “Whatever for?”

“Sorry that you had to be the one here with me,” you explain, “It must be worse for you, to see me in this state. A reminder of your own pain.”

“Hardly,” Urianger is quick to reassure you, “I came here of my own accord. And I would gladly take a thousand painful memories to relieve thee of thine own.”

You can’t help but smile at that. Ever the drama queen since he learned to come out of his shell. Just one of his many endearing qualities. Too many endearing qualities. “Will you tell me more about her?”

“Moenbryda?” Urianger furrows his brow in mild confusion as he looks down at you. “Whyever for? If it is a distraction thou seeketh, wouldst it not be better to speak of a cheerier subject?”

“It helps, I promise,” you insist. “I hardly had the time to know her. I want to know why you loved her.”

Urianger ducks his head at that, hiding a faint blush behind his own mug. “If thou insisteth. Thou knoweth of course that we met in childhood…” And on he went about his life before the scions. As a student of Louisoix, and a lonely bookish boy. Pulled out of his comfort zone by an overeager girl who grew into his dearest friend.

And as he tells his stories, you find yourself being swept along by his flowery words and flowing cadence. Until you too are speaking. Telling Urianger stories of your own about a different snowy night, with a different mug of hot chocolate, and a loyal knight.

Before long, you’re feeling much better than you were before and both your mugs are empty and discarded. Without thinking, you lean over to rest your head against Urianger’s shoulder. “Thank you,” you say lightly. “You’re better at this than you give yourself credit for.”

“Only because thou hath such an effect on me,” Urianger chuckles, “To lower any semblance of guard I could hope to put up.” He adjusts his arm so that you rested better against his side and looks away again. “Tis frightfully easy to relax around thee,” he admits. “And easier still to indulge in mine own selfish desires.”

“What sorts of desires?” you ask because you were never known for being the brains of the operation.

Urianger tilts his head so that the two of you are much closer than before to being eye-to-eye. “I very much doubt it is anything that wouldst interest thee,” he reassures you.

“Try me,” you reply with a smile. And in a surge of that signature impulsivity that makes you so good at your job, you move forward to kiss him.

For a moment you think your daring has paid off as you feel him lean in to meet you. But he lifts his head at the last moment and presses a hand against your back. Such that you bump softly against his chest and find yourself being held there. Gentle enough that you could pull back if you wanted to, but firm enough that you know he’d rather you didn’t.

“Urianger?” you ask, muffled slightly by his robes. “I don’t understand. If I was overly presumptuous I’m sorry. But could you at least let me up? If this is your idea of retaliation then trust me I feel awkward enough as it is.”

“It’s not that,” Urianger says shakily above you. “I wish rather to regain mine own composure lest thou meet mine gaze once more and this time I shall know not how to stop myself.” He goes quiet for a moment, leaving you to puzzle out what he means by that before finally removing his hand.

As you straighten up, you’re surprised to find his face flushed and bearing a strained expression. “My sincerest apologies,” he says falteringly as he raises a hand to hide his mouth. “The fault lieth solely with myself. And if I hath made thee uncomfortable, thou hath but say the word and I shall leave.” He doesn’t quite meet your eyes as you speak and you give him a look of confusion.

“What in the world are you talking about, Urianger?” you ask, “You know sometimes I really can’t make sense of you. And it’s not just because of the words you use. Did I or did I not misread your signals there?”

He shakes his head, “Thou didst not misconstrue anything. But t’was I who did not mean to reveal my desires.” He ducks his head down again, “For as much as I wish to indulge in thine company, I know that I do not deserve it.”

That answer catches you off guard. Both for the confession and the second admission. “Why not? I mean, I like you too, you know,” you blurt. Your breath catches for a moment as you wait to be struck down for saying it out loud. Especially so close to the most painful of death days. But when the world does not collapse, you reach out to touch his hand. “Do you want to try this?”

“Thou deserveth better than me,” Urianger mumbles. “And thou art too selfless by far. I lost one love already and could do nothing. I have pushed many more towards their early demise, at their own request. If ever thou wert persuaded to sacrifice thyself for the good of our star, I know not that I would stop thee then. But I know also that I could not forgive myself after.”

You can’t help but give a heavy sigh. A barrier you should have seen coming. And one that would easily be broken. “Urianger,” you say slowly, “Do you know how many people I’ve seen get hurt on my behalf?”

He begins to answer but you stop him before he can, “Too many, that’s the answer. For me. For my cause. Haurchefant he-” you pause. Saying his name out loud knocks the wind from your lungs. But you push onwards. “But they made their choice and I have to accept that. Because if I were to blame myself for every death I witnessed, I’d never take another step again. Yet I’m still standing here, aren’t I?”

Urianger finally turns his hand upwards to hold yours in return, rather than allowing you to simply rest over him. He runs his thumb over your hand thoughtfully, then squeezes it lightly. “Thou art the Warrior of Light. Hydaelyn’s chosen. Tis only right that thou wert more capable than I of shouldering thy burdens.”

“But that’s exactly it!” You insist, “I’m the hero. Everyone expects me to be on top of everything, always. I have to be perfect. But I’m not. I mess up all the time and I can’t save everyone. So don’t think that you have to either. Because if you can’t even forgive yourself then how could I ever be forgiven?”

That much renders him speechless. And as he gapes at you, slack-jawed, you find that you’ve induced a rare moment. Urianger, at a loss for words. So you take advantage of the moment to push onwards.

You pull your hand gently out of his grasp and lift both hands to cradle his face. Turning him to face yourself and forcing him to meet your eyes. "Still, I can promise you this,” you say, taking your time to make sure your words are resonating with him. “You will not lose me. Nor will I ever ask that of you. When my end comes it will be at the hands of time and nothing else. And if I should be so lucky, it will be by your side. I promise you tomorrow. So please, allow yourself this comfort. Few others on this star have given up as much as you have — we have. Let yourself be selfish, just this once. And let me too, be selfish. Please."

After a long moment, Urianger nods. He reaches up to caress your hand, before slowly lowering them back into your lap. “My thanks,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. “I think I needed to hear that.” He then mirrors your previous actions, bringing his hands to your face. “And I think I would like to try this after all.”

So the last of the cold is chased away by the warmth of his mouth against yours.

[aajjks]

had to run a couple of errands for the baby. i’m sorry guys 😭😭

NWO!JK

you’re caught off-guard when jungkook takes your hand and makes you slap him on purpose but that’s not what’s really throwing you off:

“I don’t know what happened to me”

“my anger had blinded my vision and senses”

“there was this voice in my head telling me to hurt you all”

when you’re angry, you usually never let it get too out of hand and often remember the source of your anger. the voices in your head is usually your conscious trying to tell you something or give advice but never does it tell you to hurt your friends. it’s all so strange and the longer jungkook tells you about not being in control of his actions makes you wonder if something was controlling him but what could it be?

now that the problem has been solved everything can return to normal, right? jungkook can come over again, cuddle against you, hold you and love you out loud now but it all just seems too easy. his words really hurt you more than the push did and as much as you’d love for jungkook to hold you and make it all better…

“i love you too jungkook. the guy i was talking about? it was you but you really hurt me today and i’m not just talking about this” you point to your arm to show the purple bruise on your arm. “i’m talking about my feelings. that’s what you hurt more than anything and i just really need some space right now. i’m glad you came clean to me and apologized but i need space to just process everything on my own. plus, you need to apologize to your aunt oh-wol”

you know it’s not what jungkook wants to hear but he understands. what he said and did was wrong and the right thing to do is let you be on your own for awhile even if it isn’t what he wants to do. you go in for a hug, reassuring him that what he did doesn’t change how she feels for him and how she’ll still remain what it is he needs her to be but right now, they need to be apart. it’s weird, because before this they were inseparable.

“apologize to your aunt oh-wol, okay? and apologize to eunwoo. see you later jungkook”

you head back inside your apartment and go to your window to watch jungkook get on his bike and leave safely. you’re sure after everything settles, your relationship with him will be stronger than ever but only after he comes clean about his secret.

his lips, the beauty mark, being called pretty girl, he gets frustrated when they talk bad about him, this ‘secret job’ is no secret. rather, the whole country knows about it. you’re beginning to think your best friend might be spider-man.

~🫧

As he makes his way home, he feels a little more relaxed, but the guilt is still there because he hurt you a lot, and when you showed him the bruise from his push, he just felt more like shit.

You are very valid to ask for space right now from him because he might be triggering for you to be around right now, he cannot forgive himself either for hurting you, his auntie and his best friend.

But you really did not deserve the way he talked to you and called you names… he will really work on himself now and he will never let his anger get the best of him, because if he does, he will lose you forever.

And Jungkook cannot afford that ever.

He drives to eunwoo’s place. He needs to come clean to him and maybe even tell him something really important.

But isn’t he on his date right now? Probably. Right now may not be the best time for him to disturb him. He cannot fuck up someone else’s love Life just because he fucked up his.

Jungkook decides to change his route, and as he drives back to his own place, and he cannot help but think about the fact that you are probably on black cats hit list.

Why the fuck does MJ have your blood stored in a tube in her home?

“What the— oh.” And that’s when he realizes that the scratch on your arm was the courtesy of none of other than MJ herself, that’s how she got your blood in the first place.

He’s worried about you and he knows that you don’t want to see him for the next few days but you need to stay away from MJ.

And he will make sure that you do.

•••

Jungkook is looking down on the ground, as fat tears fall from his eyes, Oh-wol looks at him, “I-I’m so sorry… I love you so much and I was just having a bad day and I shouldn’t of said those things that I did but I love you so much…”

“숙모.. I really do love you so much and I know that you love me too, and it was just so wrong for what I said, and I would like to apologize..” he whimpers, crying like a baby.

[sjofn-lofnsdottr]

Miscellaneous Alts

So there are Other Alts besides the main four, I just either don't play them very much so I don't have as much to say about them, or ... well. Or because they're ridiculous that they exist in the first place.

Random picture because pictures are fun, then I'll actually get to babbling:

First up is Levi, a hyur fella based on yet another post-apocalypse character. He ran a drug den. He is also a babyfaced cherub.

I asked my husband what he thought of this glam, and he told me 'Teen Boy's First Adventure.' He's actually in his mid-20s, but literally every single one of my friends refers to him as a teenager. So ... babyface achieved, I suppose.

Another character I wish I played more often, but don't, is Nellwen:

Part of why I don't play her more often is because I only play her when my husband is playing her husband, Pellian. Alas, during lulls, my husband does crazy things like 'play other games,' usually. They're based on a married couple we played in a Pathfinder campaign (this is rare for us, we usually don't play characters that are romantic with each other). She was an arcanist that set all her problems on fire and/or rattled the bones of annoying people. Obviously, she's a BLM.

I made bunny versions of all the boys, and where Bjalla was Bunny Dusk, Svend is Bunny Mercuriel:

I barely ever play him, but his fuckin' attitude cracks me up, and I know he'll pop up occasionally picture-wise, so why not acknowledge him. The main thing I decided about him, is he also left the woods after getting fed up with being a feral forest hermit ... but doesn't want to admit it, and tries to pretend that no, he's always been a city boy and no he definitely has no idea how to hunt, kill and dress wild game or anything of the sort. Who told you he did? He'll bite their faces off.

So I know this is absurd, but I have, on occasion, made other Dusks on other servers. The first Other Dusk I made during the interminable wait for 5.3 to finally release, on a server that had Road to 70. I wanted to see how far I got leveling everything before I got bored and stopped. He hit all 50s before I got tired of trying to level everything, but I sort of wound up playing through the entire MSQ with him.

So if you see a picture of Dusk with this hair, it's likely Bertrand. The funniest thing to me about ol' Bert is for some reason I think of him as the most focused of the Dusks. Something about his hair just makes him seem a little more put together to me. And yet whenever he's sad, like in the picture above, he more looks like he's trying to remember where he put his keys.

Seriously, he just had them.

The OTHER other Dusk, I made on Seraph with Farron. Dusk is going by his real name, Bellinor, and Farron is technically doing the same, using Kare. We're sort of treating it as an AU, where the boys met at the start of ARR instead of the end of Endwalker, but the reason they exist at all is a) Road to <number> makes my brain light up and b) Farron hadn't actually played the bulk of the MSQ as Farron, what with rabbit dudes not even being a thing until EW. Yes, he could do NG+, but he likes having me along to nag him to progress. And honestly, being able to spam each other with silly cutscene faces makes it all a lot more fun, imo.

I don't know what it is about THIS hair, but I think it makes him look like the biggest airhead on the planet. He is the Dumbest Dusk, and we love that for him.

Kare is relatively new to being civilized, by the way, but Bellinor is doing his best to help:

Kare doesn't really know how to read very well, for example.

Bellinor thinks the lessons are going great.

Kare still is a regular-ass adventurer dude, Bellinor is still the WoL. Kare keeps getting dragged into shit he doesn't actually care about because this big dumb ?roommate? of his keeps making big puppy eyes whenever he asks Kare to come with him.

[maguneedsalife]

For Aoife: 3, 6, 13 because it's funny

For you: 20

This one is also going to be long!! and since I already answered 3 on 1nky's ask I'll just do the others

6. How does your oc feel about labels? Theirs, or in general?

Ok, assuming that xiv world has sexuality and gender identity labels the way we do (havent seen evidence to suggest this is the case yet, doesnt mean it wouldnt have them, etc etc), i don't think Aoife would be too keen to slap a label on herself. Polyamorous sure, but I think she'd feel some discomfort with advertising that she's "bisexual" - not that she's uncomfortable with her wlw thoughts, but since she's such a public figure, she wouldn't want to be held up as an example of "bisexual rep" or called a "bisexual icon" when she's mostly been involved with men. She would feel nervous about taking space away from people who express their bi-ness more visibly.

(disclaimer aoife's opinion on this is not reflective of my own, i have no problem being open as a bisexual while also being married to a man and i know that being in a m/f relationship doesn't negate my bisexuality)

13. Would your oc be open to a poly relationship? Why or why not?

LOL. LMAO. i know you know the answer to this but i appreciate you asking it for the funny anyway

Aoife is a poly force of nature with 3 current boyfriends, 1 genderfluid robot partner, and 1 guy i still count as her boyfriend/actively ship her with even though he's been dead for most of my time playing this game.

Aoife decided to go the poly route after she and Aymeric both realized they were also in love with Estinien at around the same time. The two of them ended up talking it out with each other and decided to try to make it work. They both pitched the idea of a relationship to him shortly before he left Ishgard post-hw (this is part of why he left lmao, he needed time to think about it but did eventually accept). Later on she added G'raha and Omega to the pile with the others' consent. Aoife only really does threesomes with Aymeric and Estinien though (and Omega in 2 different bodies, but, shh)

ANYWAY. Aoife's reasoning for her poly r/s is that she simply has too much love in her heart to confine it to just 1 person, and she'd rather everyone just be open and honest with each other. She gets different kinds of emotional fulfillment from each of her partners and feels like she would be unsatisfied just having to pick one of them.

20. Have your ocs helped you in self discovery? How?

you also know the answer to this one lmao. Anyway Aoife was the reason I realized/was finally willing to admit I was bi myself. Like not to be like "final fantasy made me gay" but final fantasy did make me gay. I love my wol as an extension of myself but i also do very much want her to be my girlfriend. you understand

i'd always appreciated women aesthetically but didnt think i was interested romantically or sexually (despite you know making 5 different asami sato clone female love interest ocs in college and thinking this didnt say anything about me personally. god i was so obvious about it). playing as aoife and enjoying dressing her up in sexy outfits for ME was what made me realize that hey yeah i think i do like women and i can feel comfortable saying that openly now

bc i mean LOOK AT HER. LIKE JESUS CHRIST

anyway yeah. women hot