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#idfk I hate it is all I know
skhardwarevers1 · 10 months
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is everything progressively getting worse or am I just tired and need to go to sleep
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sehtoast · 3 months
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kripke's just jealous i put homelander in a loving healthy relationship with my trans man oc and can't cope
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1loer · 2 months
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also i always think about an AU where they bring Nanami back, but not Nanami from Hope's Peak, the Nanami from the NWP.
In Kingdom Hearts (BARE WITH ME), everything can have a heart (metaphorical/metaphysical. not the literal organ, but is vital for something to be fully alive). It's formed from your connections to others, and the experiences you have. Even digital beings grow hearts if they're put in the right conditions and form enough connections to others.
I think that right at the start, Nanami would have been a blank slate, simply a stand in for code, just a representation of the therapeutic software of the NWP (like how Miku is just a representation of her Vocaloid sound package) but designed to be someone so intergral and important to their lives, someone they all loved, possibly to boost the potential for success within the program. But I think that as their time within the program goes on, as her relationships with the others expand and deepen, she became more and more 'real'. I think she grew her own heart, one seperate, original, and her own. One unconnected to the girl she's supposed to be a copy of.
If this heart could have been saved from deletion, just like the rest of the Remnants were, and been brought back into the real world, made physical, put into a vessel, Nanami could have been resurrected.
But the implications of this.
Everyone has their memories back of this girl that she isn't, wasn't and never really could be. She's someone different now, forged by different experiences, colder, jankier. What would this mean for their grief? Kamukura grieved Nanami, even if he didn't know why. Hinata grieved Nanami, repressed as he was by the Project. The whole class turned to despair watching her die. Some watched her die two times over. Now Nanami is back, and she's everything they remember and she isnt. Nanami is back and she has to live up to these expectations of who everyone thinks she should be, and who she really is. Would the Remnants still greive? I think they would. I think she'd feel that. Where would the therapy tool she was built around end and a real girl, a newly real girl, who has never lived before start? She didn't even ask to be brought back. Would it be selfish to force such an existance upon her?
I think, as hopeful an ending as it would seem on the surface, Nanami coming back to life would be a whole new form of despair.
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starsheet · 5 months
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GUYS I CAN STILL DRAW I PROMMY
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(not intended nor drawn as a ship but idrc if u see it as that at this point. i think they're good buddies and i love them)
bonus version without all the very. drastic shading/lighting under cut
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(they look BALD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
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is it weird that i want the pining back?
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ihhfhonao3 · 1 year
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Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't see the big issue with the Ace Attorney anime. I started officially watching it a couple of days ago and I'm like. Shit bro this is funny as fuck. This is exactly what I signed up for coming into this fandom. Delicious.
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torifuckingspring · 8 months
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monster on an empty stomach kill me please
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shopcat · 4 months
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who are ur favorite mha characters?? :3 mine are aoyama and kirishima and bakugo is like my pet hampter
cut because i got embarrassedddd
TBH bc there's no character i like necessarily Hate other than like endeavour and overhaul im a lover at hearttttt i think so many charas are fun in some way or other or at least have interesting designs or something or a fun dynamic w someone else that makes them cool TEEHEE ^_^ i love kiri too and aoyama is sooo funny and i rmr the day everyone found out he was the traitor so vividly. also all the candidates for who it was before him omfg ... that was what we call dj crazy times. i am definitely more of a kirishimahead than i used to be what people don't understand about him is he's actually emo for real like for real though i always thought he was funnyyy with his likes listed as "manly men" LMFAO 😭 GAY 🫵 . OH and i do love bakugou he's so stupid & i enjoy the platonic (🤨) baku deku dynamic a lot they are teenage boys. which is such a nothingburger statement and yet So true. but you basically can't hate bakugou anyway with a rowan in your heart that's just stupid and talking about him w him over the years has formed a lot of fondness for him he's weirdo
anyway. myyy favourites will always be shinsou todoroki & aizawa (That one oomf who does NOT play about aizawa) but i love deku too idg how people can watch/read something and dislike the MAIN CHARACTER like omfg you're so sour he's legiterally my c section baby =_=. i also love TAMAKI he's my lockscreen atm he's like my bias wrecker my other c section baby. my beautiful twins. over all i'd say i enjoy thinking abt the whole todoroki family in general minus endeavour but in a way bc of the endeavour shaped hole too + dabi both in that and otherwise just as himself yknow. & tomura is my oomf in another life. pretty much the whole league too but i love toga and need to safe her like she's literally 16. though i have a certain fondness for twice atm at least and also spinneraki nation.
ummm i think about the weird tragic amalgamation of kuroboro mostly by nature of also being erasermic nation. i generally just hold a lot of care for pretty much all of 1a minus you know .. i think outside of the quote unquote main cast i love mina the most she's so cute & came around on denki too i'm taking custody of him awayyyy from horikoshi like for real. at this point in time i think hawks is cool and a hottie with a body and i will 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 him re: tragic backstory... also obv i love monoma he's crazy and ibara ocd realness and i like the mushroom girl whose name i don't know she's creeepyyyy. hound dog is also cool i like all the anthros and such LOVE tokoyami another real emo... and i am not an all might hater i am an all might lover (🤨). i can't think of anyone else rn there's too many of these bitches. my final message goodbye.
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orcelito · 8 days
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Whines bc im a few hours into my sleep and I'm not so nauseous now but my limbs...! My limbs, they ache...!!! And it's just all of them, the bone aches in all of them, so I feel like Peter Griffin Death Pose in this bed tonight
#speculation nation#sometimes the chronic pain decides Fuck You especially#i always have some measure of pain but sometimes it decides to flare in Multiple limbs. and it's never fun.#just laying here with pain radiating out of my limbs in a slow steady pulse#*why* dont i have a fibromyalgia disgnosis yet...? bc my fuckin liver readings were off & im waiting for a february GI appointment...?#would my Fucking liver make my limbs all hurt for no goddamn reason in their Bones?????#like i know my doctor is just trying to do her due diligence and if i have a liver problem that can explain the fatigue.#but idk man it's way more than just fatigue. and it's the fact that i have to wait until *february* before the GI appointment#that really gets to me.#if it was sooner id care less. like yeah lets cover our bases yeah. but i have to wait five Fucking months before i even have the Chance#to get a fibromyalgia disgnosis (and hopefully Treatment after)#and in the meantime my limbs will continue to Ache and Ache and Ache...#ive. lived with it up to this point. i can continue to live with it. as yes. this is just the rest of my life.#but god damn itd fucking be nice if i could get some Help for it ykno?#they cant rly change the chronic pain aside from pain relievers. which i dont wanna be too dependent on anyways#but just. idfk theres gotta be Something. some kind of treatment!!! massages?!? i dont know!!!!#i just know my limbs hurt and i have to wait At Least 5 months for a diagnosis (& even then it's not assured)#and it's just. so frustrating. i really hate our healthcare industry.#negative/
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thebigqueer · 30 days
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i dont wanna eat anything or do anything and i just wanna lay around but i also dont wanna do that and i dont wanna watch anything or read anything and idk what i wanna do
#i was supposed to have someone review my resume and i was banking on the fact that maybe talking to someone instead of being alone in my roo#would help me out but the whole appointment system maker thing was messed up so we couldnt even meet#so i literally hvae nothing better to do than wait the next few days to get back to campus#and i was soooo excited to go back to school and i still am cuz i know itll make me feel better being around people#but im just a lot less excited than i was#cuz i just really really hate the idea of having to spend another fall semester getting over someone#like i couldve probably handled spring semester. but fall semester???? when theres already enough desolateness as it is???#like i just hate hate htae the idea of being on buses and starting to cry again and its midnight at 4pm when im crying#and theres people everywhere and the wrost part is shes literally on the same campus as me!!! so now i might actually see her!!!#and i dont want to!!!#i want to be friends but right now i know if i see her again ill just start sobbing on the spot#i was so excited for thsi fall sem but now im just notttt#and i know ill be busier (hopefully) this sem so im sure ill be better off than last year#but still like. idfk i dont know what to do. i think i just need to hear someone elses voice#im supposed to talk to my friend later today so maybe thatll help#cuz im kinda ready to tell someone about it but what if she telsl me she cant call what am i suppsoed to doooo#cuz last year the person iw as getting over lived a bajillion miles from me so it was easier!!! but she and I live 5 mins from each other#AND SHES FREINDS WITH LIKE ALL MY ROOMMATES#THEYRE ALL HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS !!!!#GODDDD.#i mean there are def upsides to this . for example its good we broke up now#cuz imagine if we broke up cuz of a fight and then thered be a big issue in the friend group#but it ended well and i dont think our friends / roommates will be 'picking sides'#as long as i just dont do anything drastic lol#adn who knows maybe our friendship will bounce back and i really hope it does!!#but she and i didnt start off as friends we kinda went into this knowing we were into each other to begin with#so like how do i be friends with her you know???#and friendship is soo important to me so its not like i dont want to be friends with her. i really really do. i just dont know how itll wor#like i value friendship over romantic relationships any day but also our relationship felt so deep to me#which is why im scared that we wont be friends even though i know we both want to be
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cavity-collector · 1 month
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i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit
#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me#i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum#my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation#depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man#theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please#i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good#but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great#i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to#actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die#i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless#i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something#probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so#ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left#ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this#an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways#no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil#because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good#idk what im saying anymore#someone shoot me#please im not kidding#just make it stop#tw vent#tw sui#delete later
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kruxton · 10 months
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having a Night. havent been alone w my thoughts in a while and im not liking it
#usualy i'd make up some stupid story to fall asleep but its not working now#some news was broken to me just now and i dont know how to feel about it#i mean i do#ok incoming vent#hate the idea hate it so so much but its so selfish of me to think that way#and the issues all lie within ME and i just. i cant change now#not w all the work i put into adapting to this place i cant just. pack it all up and leave to go somewhere else#my future was set here man. all i had left was to finish a year and a half more of secondary school n get thru my IGCSEs and i'l be set#yeah i didnt have a specific plan but i had come to terms w a solid general one that i actually really liked#and now its all Ruined#'dw you'll be going to a good school over there too! much better than where ur at now' i dont want to#i cant i just cant#i cant leave my life here now not when im so close to finally getting my freedom#i was supposed to graduate top of my class here i was supposed to excel in my extra curriculars i was supposed to be KNOWN#god does that sound horrible of me but i cant change the way i feel and how ive always felt#i was set man. i couldve gotten that scholarship and gone overseas#i NEED that scholarship or my family wont be able to afford to put my siblings into good schools#but now my progress is gone!#yeah idfk how the school system shit works but i highly doubt some prestigious ass school is gonna care abt shit i did in my current one#yeah i could be wrong but what if man#what then. what the fuck am i supposed to do#and im scared i wont be able to make friends there#fuck im prbly overthinking this n being such a fucking pussy but#i cant. be alone#not again i cant do that shit again#i have my friends here!!!! and theyre alright i like to be around them so why cant i just stay#im just so tired#i just want to sleep#but all i can think about is this#vent
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bunnihearted · 2 months
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hmm i like actually wanna kms
#big oof 🥴#if i try to talk im dramatic and emotional and only met with judgement ....#if i try to push it all down and pretend everythings fine i feel like im slowly dying#if i try to ask for help ppl only slap my hand away and dismiss me#if i complain im a negative pos who everyone hates#if i stfu and dont talk i feel miserable and like i have this big lump in my throat and i cant breathe#im never right or ok or valid or anything. im always wrong.....#im sad and lonely bc all i want is for someone to really truly love me and hold me#but truth is nobody cares that much if i would actually kms#but then im pathetic and whiny for crying in pain since i feel so alone and worthless#like honestlyyyy u can never win in life and esp if you're mentally ill and disordered and traumatized#and also just extremely sensitive even if u could choose u would choose to feel nothing#but ppl always complain no matter what i do :// im always doing smth wrong smth bad#like i didnt ask for everything that happened to me to happend and i didnt ask for it to shape me#and i dont want this or be like this bc my life is nothing but a miserable worthless waste of space#but im trying but im all alone in a dark hole like 12ft underground#and people who might see me wont do anything to help or just walk on their merry way#they will take a shovel and shovel even more dirt on top of me and make it even harder for me to crawl out of this hole#and like idek what im talking abt but this world is insane and people are fucking insane#and all everyone has is judgement and cruelness and calousness and like#ppl are just mean and they get personally attacked and angry if you dont live according to their standards and views and idk#ppl are insane and i feel so alone and im lying here knowing that my life is absolutely nothing#and im tired and i just wanna not exist. but really all i want is for someone to look me in the eyes and tell me i matter bc ive never#wanted to be saved. i've only ever wanted to be seen and known and like idfk.... i just dont#feel good but as always... i have to lie here alone and try not to kms bc i dont have anyone to ask to just talk to me for a little moment#like i cant even imagine... asking someone like hey i wanna kms pls talk to me for a moment#and have them reply immediately and idk i wouldnt even need long just like 10 minutes.#sigh idek what im rambling on abt im just so sick and tired and exhausted and i dont wanna die not really#but im so exhausted bc i have to carry this pain every day and people are so fucking awful but i dont wanna be alone and i just dont know
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lunar-fey · 3 months
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oh yeah not sure where we're at w money btw. we might be able to get some of it back but we wont know anything concrete until friday
#the fey speaks#which is why i haven't been reblogging the d0n0 post#like. i got $115 total and we Do need to buy groceries before friday and also some of it has already been spent on gas for getting to work#so what i'm saying is the support i got so far has already be immensely helpful#i am just not sure how much more help i will need or by when. or anything. until friday.#and i'd hate to keep askin only to end up not needing it ig. that said if anyone still wants to send me a few bucks while understanding tha#i won't say no. there are many things i need money for in this world rn. like a new belt. been thinking abt a cane. but idk how much it#would help so i haven't been able to justify the cost to myself#but like. there's probably better things you could be doing with your money rn.#also its been really hard for me to get info bc no one (my parents. whose bank acct it was.) wants to fucking talk about it#like. i live here too idk i think i should be allowed to know like what days bills are due and exactly how much they cost!#bc originally i was told (by my mom) that Literally All of our bills were due this past monday. and we would have#no power water or gas. but we still do. somehow. so idfk#and she won't talk to me abt it if i ask she just Stops Responding or walks away#and if i try to ask dad he just responds “i don't know” or starts crying. or like self loathing spiral#so basically. even if we get 100% of the original money back#its ALSO possible we will have a shit tone of late fees and overdraft fees to pay. no clue : )
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lilliancdoodles · 3 months
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.
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byanyan · 5 months
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one step forward, three steps back, every. fucking. time.
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