#idk IDK I'm thinking too much about weird shit at night lately ok this is just my latest series of brainworms

[byanyan]

new genre of ask where byan comes barging in and asks your muse to teach them how to swear in their native language, or any other language(s) they might know

[jentasticart]

ok but I'm actually starting to get pissed off and annoyed with this weird family dynamic stuff they're doing in mk1 just to try to stop the gay ships that's been around for a while now.

like subscorp (Kuai x Hanzo), bitomas, subsmoke (Kuai x Tomas. I'm not too much of a fan of this ship but I'll mention it anyway) and shaoko, idk if there's anything else but lmk if I missed anything I guess.

but Imma mainly talk about my main ship here; bitomas.

I would like to add that I'm not a proshipper in any way cus fuck that shit. so don't frame me as one.

this is the only recent game where they're both in it together but they make them step bros yet I've seen people make mk1 subscorp and no one is really complaining about it and it gets a bunch of likes, which is WORSE than mk1 bitomas because it's ACTUAL incest. mk1 bitomas isn't incest, they're not related to each other in any way. they're not even the same race.

but yk what's not fucking fair? THAT THE SUBSMOKE SHIP IS MORE ACCEPTED THAN BITOMAS THAT THE ACTUAL VOICE ACTORS SHIP IT FFS

BI FUCKING DISMISSES IT, HE DOESN'T SEE HIM AS A DAMN BROTHER

BUT IN SUBSMOKE THEY ACTUALLY DO ADDRESS EACH OTHER AS BROTHERS, HOW CAN ONE BE ACCEPTED MORE THAN THE OTHER WHEN IT'S THE SAME DAMN THING

this is literally how I'm feeling rn about this

two people who ARE NOT related to each other in any damn way is NOT incest, doesn't matter if they grew up together or not.

so if two people were dating before and their parents got together and married, then those two people shouldn't be together anymore cus they would be step siblings? that's fucking stupid and you guys know it.

in a way they're doing the stupid thing like how some people think liulao is, yk the whole "they're cousins/brothers" but they're not, it was confirmed they're not but people don't wanna do their damn research.

all nrs cares about is the straight pairings and lesbian ones cus they don't get as much backlash as two men being together.

===.._ _..===.._ _..===

so I got a little hc/story for y'all:

sometime after the brothers' dad takes Tomas in, Tomas falls for Bi and his whole idolization for Bi is a coverup to try to hide his crush on him from Bi and Kuai. yes he gets close with Kuai as in best friends but he feels this is something he should keep to himself for now.

Bi wasn't actually always mean to Tomas, at some points he might have been cold to him sometimes but that's just Bi, just cus he was cold to him, doesn't mean he didn't care for him.

but then at some point Bi-Han fell for Tomas, probably starting in his teen years, but since he didn't know how to express it or deal with it, he acts how he acts towards him like how he does in mk1. it's because he never felt this way before towards anyone, let alone a guy. so he pretty much acts kinda like a tsundere in a way. keep in mind, even before this, Bi still didn't see Tomas as his brother and Tomas obviously didn't see him that way either cus of his crush on him.

all those years their feelings for each other got stronger and stronger, which made Bi more cold to Tomas, which was the time he told him that line in that one scene in mk1 about him not being brothers or Lin Kuei.

but after the betrayal of Bi-Han, while Kuai and Tomas were making the Shirai Ryu, Tomas snuck back to the Lin Kuei at night to see Bi-Han.

they fought because Bi started it, he did think Tomas was there to kill him or was there for some revenge but all Tomas wanted to do was talk. after the fight, Tomas managed to get Bi to stop.

they talked for awhile, Tomas asking the question as to why Bi-Han did all of this in the first place, why he was cold to him, why he got so much colder after all the years. Bi was hesitant to tell him, especially now since he thinks its too late to let him know the truth, he probably ruined all chances he had with him now.

but he did tell him anyway, he told him the truth, everything. from the very beginning to now. Tomas wasn't expecting this, he didn't think Bi felt the same way towards him but was he really telling the truth about the other stuff?

Bi-Han backed away after he told him, he understood that he might not believe his words anymore. Tomas stayed silent on Bi's bed, thinking, before he spoke and told him that he should tell Kuai this truth even if Kuai might not believe it.

he paused for a moment before he spoke, agreeing with Tomas. he then called him to Bi's bed, Bi was hesitant because he wasn't sure of it, he didn't know if he should.

after a few minutes, Bi joined him in bed and Tomas held him, confessing his love to him too, even after everything, he still has the same love for him like the first time he fell for him.

they wind up being together in secret for months as Tomas helped Kuai with the clan. during that time, Bi did told the truth to Kuai too and apologized for it. Kuai is a bit hesitant to forgive him right now but he will consider it. he will still work on his own clan as it still feels like the right thing to do.

===.._ _..===.._ _..===

so ye if you don't like it, plz just block me, cus Imma ship them since others are shipping mk1 subsmoke with little problems, I'm starting to not care at this point because of it but I will put tags you can block in those posts to not see it

[miss-ery-3]

i dont have much to report on weight wise, as i havent weighed myself since thursday, because i've been drinking alcohol and therefore i am retaining water

i can feel how i am all swelled up rn - my rings feel tighter than normally. i'll weigh myself again once the water retention goes down

but, ofc, i have even more stuff about my whole ✨love life situation✨

i am seeing my bf tomorrow, and i will tell him that i dont think our relationship is going that greatly, and then i'll take it from there. i dont really like to think too much about it, but i also feel more at peace w it - and i think my lil crush is a huge part of that. i really dont need anyone to tell me that i'm a horrible person - i am truly doing my best, both in terms of navigating my feelings and my relationship and my mental health. i'm really not in a good place right now, but at least i can kinda pretend, that my troublesome feelings are some fun new drama that i can share w my friends (you guys teehee)

if you don't care about my love life drama, then its totally ok. if you are, you're in for a treat (maybe idk)

lets call my crush-situation W

aight, so W and i talked all night thursday, and i have quite a lot to report about that night, and then a little about last night

my friend started talking about one time i had a ons w one of my friends, like 3 years ago, and i was quite embarrassed to talk about it. but the others laughed and idk, i figured it was fine. W switched between not laughing at all, just looking down at the table, and then awkwardly laughing a bit while looking at me, and then the table. i dont know what that means??? just as the conversation ended he was like "do u wanna go for a smoke" and then we went outside, and talked about other things.

we had been drinking and joking all night, and he decided to tell some group of girls sitting in the bar, that he and i are childhood friends (big lie, i've known him since summer). and i was like "aight, whatever" and then he lied and told them that i had written him tons of love letters when we were children. and i just laughed and lied and said "yeah haha, i was totally in love with you". when we left the bar, like 2 hours later, and we were all alone, i teased him about something we told the group of girls, and then he was like "yeah yeah whatever, i know that you'll just send me another love letter. you're like tooootally into me hahaha" and i was like "oh yeah, haha, totally. u got me" while walking away and laughing. i might just be fucking overthinking everything but also... why lie about writing love letters? there are much more embarrassing things (for me) he could've said. idk, help me

he texted his girlfriend throughout the night (i think) but looked quite annoyed/not happy whenever he did, and at some point he left the table for like 15 minutes (probably to talk to her). idk

he kept touching my stuff. like my cigarettes and my lighter, he would just sit with them and play with them. i found it quite cute, idk

OKAY, and then to last night (friday) i was in another bar last night, helping out, 'cause i kinda work there (ish, like, volunteer-work) and W was supposed to have a shift later in the evening

he calls me to tell me that he will be running late, 'cause he was at an event, and shit hit the fan, idk. then he asked me if i could cover for him, and i said that i for sure could cover for him. we only talked for 1,5 minute, but idk. my fucking hands went sweaty and i couldn't stand still. i don't think i've ever picked up that fast. uuuughhhhh i feel so weird. whatever

he showed up like 1,5 hours too late (but it was ok, 'cause there really wasn't much to going on), and went directly out to find me (i was smoking) to hug me and apologize for coming so late. then i kept feeling his eyes on me, and i could hear him mention my name a lot of the night

we ended up doing some cleanup together afterwards, and it was just... really nice. we have such a good time whenever we're together and i feel so comfortable around him. except for the part where i keep thinking about how hot i think he is and how want to give him a big old smooch. i had hoped to talk to him some more, but we both went home when cleanup was done, and idk. its fine

i have not been able to keep him out of my head all day. its truly torturous

[starrynightarchive]

19, 6, 42, 22, 38, 33, 47, 50, 92, 90, 72, 75, 70

answer them all

demanding. hello to you too anon

19. what's been keeping you up at night lately?

your mom.

ok just kidding. uhhh not much. maybe the mistakes I need to fix and this distinct feeling of wrongness that lingers.

6. what role do you play in your group of friends?

let's ask them shall we

42. how did you meet your best friend(s)?

aha i actually wanted someone to ask this one! I'll give you three stories

sri: when i was in kindergarten i remember very clearly seeing this fucker in the restroom. she pulled out her handkerchief and made a banana out of it? i was not impressed. but she then proceeded to eat it/put it in her mouth. which I was impressed with. and then she saw me when I got stuck on the very top of this giraffe thing which you can climb. a teacher had to come up and get me down. bitch was just staring at me the whole time. didn't move a muscle. i love her so very much.

vhas: ok so. i had (have. love her very very much she's a menace and we met in a whole other way) a best friend and I got them into wattpad when I was 13. or 12. idk. then that friend in turn went to a classmate and made them join wattpad. so now all three of us started writing very bad very cringe stories. i was writing a straight romance paranormal story and vhas was writing some tragic yaoi godbles. i read it and fell in love with his writing. so one day, without warning, I just went up to him and said "hey! i love your writing!" and fucked right off. no intro no how are you no nothing. we ended up talking in hangouts (rip) and I made covers for his stories and shit. and then the rest is history.

sree: this is the menace friend. she lives really close to my house. first way we met was through our school bus (we took the same one and I sat next to her one day). she was reading harry potter and we figured that we both loved books. i introduced her to a few. and the very same week I went to my classical music class and they were there. i was like ??? but we became quick friends. proximity, similar interests, orange slices and stupidity. yeah. they're pretty neat.

22. how old were you when you joined the internet?

around 12, i think

38. what is your love language? i'm very expressive about my love for people, but the main ones are: physical touch, words of affirmation and gift giving.

33. have you ever thought about changing your name?

nope! i love my name very very much :D

47. how well-decorated is your bedroom?

not much. at first i had a sticky notes wall filled with quotes poetry etc etc but then had to take it down because it was getting dusty. then there's this huge ass micky mouse sticker stuck on my wardrobe (my dad bought it when I was a kid). skk chibi figurines and iwaoi standee both from my lovely friend vhas. then books. a few magnets stuck to my wardrobe. that's all

50. what do you consider most important in a romantic/platonic partner? being ready to put in work in the relationship. must be an open communicator/must be willing to try. oh, and a good sense of humour (this is very specific btw. i have a type. i will not elaborate).

92. who's in your dream blunt rotation? great question. idk if I'll ever smoke weed but. if I do tay will be my go-to person (@spiderbends)

90. weirdest habit?

i bite people. is that weird? idk

72. which is more important when it comes to clothing, comfort or style?

comfort all the wayyyy

75. how would you describe your favorite person?

icarus. burning wings. the kindest smile. the bravest man. lover, healer, believer. object of all my sweet dreams and sweetest nightmares.

70. when it comes to affection/intimacy, do you prefer to stick to one person or are you more open about it?

intimacy/affection to me isn't strictly connected to romance. and I'm a very affectionate person by nature. i love fiercely. all my loved ones will be bombarded with my love. get loved, loser.

[julien5-malfunction]

Derranged drafting about wanting to go to concert, money, dread.

Crafting a little budjet for myself bc I'M MAD EITHER WAY SO I BOUGHT THE TIKETS, to get me there, I has to pay a lil extra to have the train ticket so it can be refunded JUST IN CASE I end up going. If I feel like absolute shit and decide to not go on the last minute, I can still refund them. I'll buy the concert ticket on the way there, IF I GO.

I save some money by taking the bus there, and some more by having to wait 2+ more hours for the later night train. Should not be an issue as I have insomnia but the waking up on time, the anxiety, the cold and hunger will be. Also I don't know if I should be scares of the streets as I will be going alone...

But the bars will be open on the fiday night right? I can chill there with a ton of people around incase I feel scared on the street, right?

Now I'm doing pathetic little calculations on how much I can spend on merch, bc I like me some CDs and maybe a t shirt or a hoodie but 50€ for merch, food and snacks and whatever else I need, ain't much. So I'm like gooling how much they cost on the web and trying to estimate the price but I probably can get like 2 cds and nothing else...

I dunno if it's ok to take the cash I got for christmas and use some of that so I can have a t shirt or a hoodie as well if they have good ones.

...sometimes I think I should just buy a plain black T shirt and plagitarize a band shirt bc I'm so broke nowdays...

And I feel too ugly in my body anyway to wear new bought band shirts or any new or nice chlotes anyway, but I'll be wearing the nice black cargo pants, the leather boots ( or my winter shoes, I heard it's gonna be really cold...) A burner T shirt under a nice hoodie, probably the one from Amenra, as I saw them in the same place about a year ago... (And it's really warm!)

Dunno which jacket is the most convinient for an over night trip... Beige one, probably, has the most pockets, but is the most casual. Black one is the most metal and camo the most punk (a battle jacket)...

I got the same flavoured peanuts for snacks on the train today, got 2 since they were on dicount... as well as ibuprofein, in case I get migrane from flasing on the train / period pain in the train. (unintended rhyme god damned) I'll make some POTENT AF coffee to keep me going, probably to my demise... or maybe take coins for a take out coffee...

The same book I was reading the last time...

maybe the ds3 idk. Pen and paper ofc.

charger, headphones, earplugs, keys, water, snacks, coffee(?), chocolate maybe?, wallet, a book, A FEW PENS LETS SAY 5 MAX, NOT THE WHOLE ARCENAL, paper. Pocket knife. Sanitary stuff... Tissue paper. Idk, how much are wet wipes €€€? (I have a sensory issue with wasking my face and hands?) Hand sanitizer? Smokes + a lighter.

Something to serve as a comforting thing, in case of anxiety, I wanna take a plushie but... Maybe the scarf will do? I mean, it works in therapy... No I won't take knitting stuff... Or should I? I mean, I need stuff to entertain me for 15h in the train... No I won't unless I start a project that doesn't require much space to take on board.

I really hope I can pull this off...

Like please let this happen.

I'll figure out the money thing somehow...

I know I should not spend so much and calculate stuff like this much better but...

I didn't know earlyer. I missed the sign if there was one...

It's like something is telling me I need to go it's really weird to try and explain and I will sound crazy but there have been some weird coincidences lately, in my dreams and the real world. Yet again the source of the message is the library... The printed media is the carrier. I don't know who or what or where I get the metadata to pick a cartain thing in the library, and that thing happens to have the information I didn't know I needed. This has basically happen twice now. I'm going to consider it as something like a tradition from now on. I'm my mind the building, the venue, looks an awful like a chapel or a church. Was that what the dream was referring to? Does the stuff that happen in the dream relate to this in anyway??? Will I be scared... And the next time telling people not to go there? If so, it might... I might be drawing lines between random raindots here and calling it fate. I'm willing to take a leap, I suppose... If my body so allows.

Idk it just feels like that place became holy to me the last time.

another one would be this hill nearby I have gone to 3 years in the row. I bike north of town and drag the bike up hill a certain path in the fall. Chill under the high voltage lines and pick berries. Stare down to the distant road and look down to my hometown on the other side...

It's 4 am, sorry about all this brain vomit taking up the supposedly infinite space of the internet. But I doubt anyone actually reads this. I hope you don't.

[rotisseries]

elio is symbolized as like more of a object of desire. and something to taint/something oliver is afraid of tainting. like oliver obviously likes him (not at all obvious at first tbh) but there's this whole scene where elio's father is looking at some sculptures with oliver and oliver goes "these are all incredibly sensual." and elios father says black blah Hellenistic period, "muscles are firm. look at his stomach for example. not a straight body in these statues they're all curved. sometimes impossibly curved. and so nonchalant. hence their ageless ambiguity. as if they're daring you to desire them." and they had already kissed by then, but oliver kept pulling away because he's looking at this like it's bad (like i'm kinda neutral on the age gap it's not as big of a thing as it's made out to be. just larger implications lmao) and he says "and we've been good. we haven't done anything to be ashamed of. and that's a good thing. i wanna be good." it's like. elio is like his temptation. like it doesn't really seem that way overall but. BIG PICTURE... with all the fruit motif & talk of goodness and desire. well. he even tells elio "do you know how happy i am we slept together?" "i don't know" "of course you don't know...i don't want you to regret anything. and i hate the thought that maybe i may have messed you up or...i don't want either one of us to pay for this" like there's some sort of divine punishment coming his way. or that elio feels like bad now. and it's largely around being queer than the age gap is how i read it tbh. idk what period it is but they don't have mobile phones and they just have radios and landlines it seems.  and later oliver talks about how elio is lucky for his accepting parents. that his dad would have shipped him off to a camp. so elio saying "i'm -i'm not gonna tell anyone" was less a. i'm 17 and ur an adult than. we had gay sex last night. yk? it's just like the whole thing pushing and pulling it kills me bc i feel like elio was more. um. sexually involved yk as a teenager and oliver more genuinely liked him which is where i think people are like hmm. but. when ur a teenager. sometimes u show it through. sexuality. but like. that's the problem but it's not really a problem. i'm babbling rn. oh and the apricot scene. really been chewing it up in my brain. got nothing lmao. it's not like. it wasn't like super weird. teenagers are gonna shit like that but people are like :(( he threw a temper tantrum. bruh it was like a 2 minute scene and he cried for like 2 seconds and wiped his tears and apologized and it was just like. too much lmao bc he was sad that oliver was leaving like that's all. like he said i don't want you to leave or whatever. oliver was not making fun of him or anything elio was just like. embarrassed 😭. like ok u can call it immature but . idk. i wrote an essay damn.  yeah that's like my iffys. like it wasn't bad really i just have a brain and know that it wasn't exactly hm healthy. 

i feel like i missed stuff but. um. u can ask questions 😭? i could be reading it wrong. was not as bad as some ppl made it out to me. but like elio is distinctly a 17 yr old. i'm not saying the gap is good by any means the movie however wasn't Bad. this is fiction not real life blah blah i understand that fiction chan give me biases tho. i feel the need to disclaim that for some reason. i'm not an english professor im just some gay teen on the internet who watched this too late at night.

akajdjfks ok. I don't really have any questions but if you do have more to say feel free

[4ggravation]

liveblogging my first time listening to midnights

(warning: long ass post)

lavender haze

this instrumental is fun, i like this

oh this is good! i wasnt expecting it to sound so peppy

very 80s-esque ig? idk how to refer to it

i was expecting a slower, more gentle sorta song, not this

ok i love this

maroon

oh this is different from lavender haze, much less lively

this feels so sadly romantic

that chorus was so good minus the reference to red shades. maroon scarlet and burgundy are not the same color girl

"that's a real fucking legacy" i love how she says that

her voice is so much more faint and mature, it really adds to things

anti-hero

before we begin uh. i have not heard good things about this song. not getting my hopes up

"i have this things where i get older, but just never wiser" she just like me frfr

oh this chorus is not...

"sometimes i feel like everybody is a sexy baby / and i'm a monster on the hill" be so fucking fr rn

the chorus is fucking back. goddamnit.

love the way she says "everybody agrees"

snow on the beach

this instrumental sounds like something in an animated film, if that makes sense

"life is emotionally abusive" real

these lyrics, oh this is so nice

very nostalgic and calm, i'm enjoying this

is that lana's voice? i can't tell

y'all were right. where tf is lana i don't see her

you're on your own, kid

oh my god, this is so

"i waited ages to see you there" woagh

"i search the party of better bodies / just to learn that my dreams aren't rare"

these lyrics bro. i can't explain it but they're making me feel some kinda way

like lavender haze, i was expecting something slower

but i still liked it!

i've already listened to midnight rain, so we shall skip it!

question...?

"fuckin situations, circumstances" me when i have to do things

no taylor, i have never been kissed

"politics and gender roles / and you're not sure and i don't know"

i could see this playing at like. a wine tasting. for some reason

vigilante shit

i'm going into this expecting girlboss taylor, but we shall see

oh my. i like

okay i really like this one. this instrumental fucks

that bridge tho. this song is so

lately i've been dressing for revenge!!!!

bejeweled

immediately the beat is running away from her...

okay, it's getting better i think

why did she say "and we're dancing all night" like that

her flow is weird asf but the instrumental is kinda fun ngl

like anti-hero, it's... alright. not amazing

labyrinth

ooh? this is an interesting intro

these vocals are so nice oh my

"lost in the labyrinth of my mind" i love that line. maybe it's because i'm a maladaptive daydreamer idk

this song is kinda what i expected you're on your own, kid to be. it's lovely and gentle and melancholic, like you could cry and sway to it at the same time

that was so nice omg!!

i've also already listened to karma, so we shall skip it too.

sweet nothing

is this gonna be a sad song. i feel it

aww, these lyrics are nice. not really sad but more wholesome ig? like finally coming home after a long, tiring day

this song is so sweet omg??

ough. why am i feeling so many emotions

the piano was really nice! very pretty song <3

mastermind

the intro... hmm

oh wow. this reminds me of blorbo from my head hold on

this is such a pretty sound. reminds me of the nighttime, ironically

"i'm only cryptic and machiavellian because i care" inch resting...

hmm... as the end to the album, it's really good. definitely one of my favorites!

[sug4r-sp1c3]

Can I get headcanons for Finland, Poland, France, Egypt, Canada, Australia, Mexico, and South Korea coddling their S/O(s)? Loved the other ask with Russia, Germany, USSR and Thired Reich so much!!

OHHHHH GOD DAMN I LOVE THIS

but i'll have to separate it 'cuz i think that my limit of post its for and for the rest of characters well they'll be in the second part

(its funny how like 3 of them i consider them female 'cuz y'know comics- but i'll put them male here)

TW: fluff tat break ur teeth, GN reader blah blah

Part 2 is still in the oven

Cuddle hc with Finland, Poland, France, Egypt

this letter means me just talking

Finland

the bitch haves a hat

so if its a cold day/night

he let u use it,

I feel like he loves being like 5 quilts on top while hugging you

he is a person of thighs and belly don't change my mind

LOVES that you let him put his head on your lap or on your belly

although if you want to reverse the roles, he will not oppose

after a day of work he just wants to put his arms around you, throw himself into bed with you, and not know how to sleep (?

vibes that you are doing something, and then he hugs you from behind and forces you to stop what you are doing and takes you to the sofa just so that they are there quietly and embracing

lots of hugs with his head in your shoulder

hates to be the little spoon

he NEEDS to sleep hugging u, he will literally die if that don't happend

cold boi vibes

but if u like the cold

and its summer

cuddle season it just started

"finland i'm cooking-"

"Y/N i'm freezing"

Poland

CUDDLING SEASON STARTS AT THE 31 OF DECEMBER AND IT ENDS AT 31 OF DECEMBER OF THE NEXT YEAR,

if he isn't hugging you, YOU are hugging him

no choice

he loves being the smol spoon

if you are sleeping he hugs you and wraps his legs around yours and puts his head on your shoulder or smthn

he doesn't accepts a no like an answer

he likes to put his head anywhere on the body

he is on ur belly? little tickles

your thighs? constantly says they are like pillows- NO, THEY ARE BETTER THAN PILLOWS

Chest? he can only raise his head, stretch a little and give you a little kiss and then snuggle back like nothing happened- SO HECK YEAH

he likes to watch any stupid series or movie while they hug each other and fill their mouths with sweets or shit like that

He waits patiently for you to finish what you're doing and go snuggle up with him.

yeah ""PATIENTLY"""

He'll give you the silent treatment (for like 10 seconds) for not snuggling with him.

little tickles if he is bored while u both are cuddling

idk man he will look like a 20 year old man but he acts and thinks like a 6 years old kid

"poland its late and i need to move-"

"but it's only been 6 hours!"

"yeah thats my point-"

France

bonjour(i need to say that everytime o'll write for him)

i feel like that this man needs NEEDS, kisses and hugs

or its just me

he would say things like "i don't have time to kisses and to cuddle"

ok sir but why r u watching weird novel while u r hugging ur S/o and everytime that the protagonist kiss u kiss them, and eating some sweets AND-

this bitch would be like

"i don't like when you put your hands around my neck!"(with his

"oh- okay-"

"I NEVER TOLD YOU TO STOP!"

YOU WANT US TO HUG U OR TO LEAVE U IN THE COACH WITHOUT HUGS MF💀?

just take his selfish ass and hug

he loves to be the big spoon

(but if you want to be the big spoon he wouldn't say no)

"darling i'm working-"

"i don't care i want cuddles- I MEAN"

yeah that conversation happens a LOT

he puts his hat on you (if he has it on) he thinks that its cute

"give me back my hat"

"no it fits with me"

"okay.. i have like other 2000 lol-"

i don't have too much ideas for him, i used to writo for him but in my mind he was female soo-💀

Egypt

(i'mjustgoingtosay- AWOOGA)

squeezes you but not too hard, just enough to make you feel, protected and safe

he falls asleep in your arms, he's tired, give hima break omg 😭

no thoughts just you and egypt hugging while he talks about some things, like his culture(idk i'm interested in that so-👁👁), his day,or just saying what he loves of you

bitch you can be just idk, reading a book and then you feel 2 muscular arms dragging you to the bed/sofa and hugging you while he falls asleep (damn i'm jealous)

"egypt i was working"

"and i was needed of hugs-"

"i was working"

"AND I WAS NEEDED OF HUGS-"

end of the discussion

He NEVER wears a shirt when he is at his house (unless there are visitors), but when u both are cuddling you don't feel comfortable with him like that

he will put one on, the cuddling sessions are for both of you to be comfortable and relax

i don't have too much ideas for him rn so i'll probably edit this after

[fwacchi]

On mobile & sorry if I said anything weird my first language isn't english & for not using puntuation I'm not good at it

Hello! This is just a mini rant(kinda)(since no one that I currently know are into vtubers or know what they are & I just wanna talk about it) but I just came across this tiktok short/edit (don't really know what to call it 😅) but she basically trying to expose? Vtubers (mostly nijien) (mostly nina in this case) but she was a minor (it's in her prof.) & I found on one of her edits/videos she was asking ppl for shoutout bc she 'needs her fame back' & that just makes me feel weird about it like.. Idk.. I think that recently I just had seen some ppl trying to cancel some vtubers on tiktok for stupid things like fu-chun getting 'cancel' for liking/reading BL even though he's bi if I'm correct (ik that some of the cancel aren't really recent but tiktok just kinda stated to put those videos on my for you page recently) like for vox I kinda get why he's was cancel but at the same time not bc sure you can feel uncomfortable & all but for me personally I think that calling him a p*do was too mush like lately ppl have been throwing that word around to losely & I just think that he over share to much but yeah

Btw it's ok if you don't want to respond to this you can just ignore it but have a good day/night also I hope that your first day in college was good! My younger sister also just started college & she was saying the same thing as you so just know that you aren't alone 🤣🤣

Your English is reallyyyy good!! <3 and good luck to your sister too!!!

I've wanted to talk about this topic before but didn't really have the chance to but now that you've ranted about it, I'm gonna reply to your rants with a rant of my own so buckle up 😌

(there's literally an essay down there so enter at your own risk 👁️👁️)

This is exactly why I barely go on tiktok anymore. when I used to be a diehard fan of kpop artists, shits like this was way more worse. At some point, it started disturbing me to the point I actually never went back on tiktok again. That's how much I hated that app back then. Literally just one or two months ago I opened that app again, thinking I could have a peaceful life in vtubers fandom but oh lord I encountered a hate video.

It was something similar to what you said, but what I saw was a video saying "canceling nijisanji en" and I thought it was a joke or something so I went to the comments section to see what it was about. And the whole comment section was filled with "omg yes" "ugh shifting to nijisanji jp right now" "well at least shu is safe💀" honestly, I was like huh??? seems that they were talking about most of the nijisanji en boys interacting with an artist who was apparently racist (or something else i'm not really sure) but yeah that's the bits of it. [I saw a comment under the specific post saying something like "if this is how yalls attitude is, then don't even think about coming to the jp side" and I was like SLAYY GIRL YOU RIGHT ASF] sorry I'm pretty much gatekeeping niji jp from toxic fans like that who could just hate on their so called "oshi" on a baseless rumour.

First of all, I'm on twitter literally everyday and have heard nothing of that issue. Or maybe it's possible that I could've totally missed it. Secondly, even if the issue is true, I'm pretty sure the en boys wouldn't have interacted with the said artist if they knew about it. Like girl, vtubers don't have to know everything about everyone on internet. Just because they don't follow up on who is who and who is supporting what doesn't mean you have the fucking rights to cancel them.

Let me tell y'all something mind blowing. Reading BL isn't a crime. Surprising? Get that into your fucking mind. BL is a genre just like Mystery, Romance, Historical and etc. Even if you're straight you can read/watch BL it's not wrong. It's not wrong as long as you don't fantasize about it and get off on it. If you're a straight person reading BL (yaoi) and getting turned on about it and being public about it, then seek help. That's just so wrong. You girls don't like it when men jerk off to lesbian porns so it goes both ways.

This is me speaking for myself as someone who enjoys BL and I would love to read GL genre too. But there's just none that suits my taste and BL stories are being published more and more rather than GL. That's the main reason I read more BL and not GL. It has nothing to do with me being a freak. I don't even read much yaoi like BJ ALEX, painter of the night, etc. I mostly enjoy fluff BL genre because I see it as any other romance. (if you have good gl manhwa/anime/donghua/manga recommendations, please share it with me👁️👁️)

And calling vox a p*do? that's just way too offensive and wrong. Did you see him having dirty talks or actually having sex with a minor? No you fucking didn't so stfu. You don't even know who he truly is behind the avatar so what gives you the rights to say something so horrible about him? And this goes to everyone else. Even if a person you know, or barely know, is a prostitute, slut, playboy or whatever, you do not get to judge them. You're not their parents/family members so you get no say in their life. Just stfu and live your own life instead of judging others'. UNLESS you see them committing real crimes which is against the law of your country then report them to the police. That's all you have to do.

Now, I don't want to categorise all tiktok users as one group but most of the people, I repeat, MOST of the people in tiktok are underage, or simply just utter fools who have no morals in them. Especially those hate accounts (and this goes to EVERY hate accounts. not just the ones dedicated to nijisanji/vtubers).

I see some accounts saying "this is a troll account. i actually love [insert name] so much🥺" no. If you love them as much as you claim to, then you wouldn't even think about hating on them like that even for a joke. That's just disrespectful.

What do they really get out of this hating behaviour? likes? shares? comments? fame? well if that's what they want then they're really doing it in a wrong fucking way. I didn't know people could be happy getting those achievements from such a nasty way. They have little to none shame. Possibly bringing down someone's career because of their stupid behaviour isn't something to be proud of. Their parents surely wouldn't be proud of it either. Am I mean? well not as much as they are and at least I'm only speaking facts.

It's literally so easy to shut up your mouth if you don't like something. Like, go find something else you enjoy instead of hating.

+the nijisanji en family has been getting bigger these days which is why they're getting more hate that are visible. The only thing we can do is comment something to put some sense in their shitty mind(which will end up going over their head considering how dumb they are), report, block and scroll away. Fools like them can't be fixed unless they themselves realise what they're doing and how it harms others around them. We really shouldn't be wasting our time and ruining our mental health over some dumb asses.

[kalicocal]

Saw you were looking for music recommendations so I thought I'd share some of my faves! I'm not the best at describing genres, and I love all kinds of music so I'm just trying to give a dec2nt smattering for you to explore lol

St. Lucia: bright dance pop, synths, 80s vibes

Sasha Sloan: indie sad girl shit (lots of these songs are very Leah Rilke vibes)

Simon Curtis: gay, POP! So much fun! And the falsetto! A true male Brittney

Doublecamp: good vibes, positive lowkey jams

The Brummies: indie rock, very sweet and chill

girlfriends: modern pop punk! Very fun

Upsahl: idk what you call music thats not exactly rapping but has that kind of flow, but she's dope and her lyrics are witty!

Remi Wolf: upbeat, goofy pop, her music videos are truly so cool because they're so weird!

Public: your standard pop rock that's heavier on the pop

Starset: this band is space themed, all their music feels like the soundtrack to a Sci fi epic, rock with a touch of screaming. If this sounds appealing at all, I highly suggest listening to their album Transmissions front to back at night, preferably while driving (bonus if it's raining) it's truly the most optimal way to experience this record lololol

The Struts: I mean they're basically modern day Queen in their style, rock and roll baybee!

Will Jay: a songwriter who's not afraid of making each song its own genre, his lyrics are great!

Ok so sorry that was probably way more than you wanted or expected, I just wanted to give you a bunch in hopes that something will strike you! Let me know if you find anything you dig!!

first of all, i know i just didnt catch you saying sorry for sharing this! in fact, i owe you a massive THANK YOU for curating this lovely bundle of new music and your descriptions, this is a treasure trove!!! so yeah, thank you and i really, really appreciate you for taking time out of your day to share this music with me and everyone else here 🥺💛

i just gotta say, this is such an impressive list since almost all-apart from sasha sloan, starset, and upsahl-of these artists are new names to me (sorry for the late reply btw, i wanted to give them a listen before answering you)

i'm currently up to remi wolf (i didnt know that THAT tiktok song is by them until now!) and i fell in love with the brummies and doublecamp! im gonna take some time going over their discography to find some more songs but yeah im really into them so far 💛

and if by any chance you're also looking for new music, i humbly suggests these artists that i hope are new names to you too in exchange for this lovely list :

glass animals - ik theyre popular now but i much prefer their earlier moodier sound in their album ZABA that i think is right up your alley

allocai - dark, mysterious, intimate vibes

bülow - the songs 'first place' and 'revolver' specifically

gabrielle aplin - i think this is how i found out about sasha sloan when i used one of her songs as a radio

cigarettes after sex - essentially what i thought of when i heard 'alone with you' by the brummies

babygirl - happy chill beats + sad lyrics

that's it from me ahahaha i just wanna thank you again for this, i've been enjoying listening to them ☺️ and i hope you have a lovely rest of your week, anon 💛💛

[sharkfish]

2021 writing summary ✍️

WORDCOUNT: 89,471 FICS POSTED: 9 *plus some ficlets/poetry

ok obviously this is ridiculously late but i feel that i have to do it anyway. since i only had 9 fics i will list them all below with some genius commentary!

a better lover

“You don’t like it?”

Dean shrugs. Eats a french fry. “Never tried it.”

Cas arches an eyebrow. “You don’t think that’s odd?”

ok we all love a fic where dean bottoms for the first time and it's the best thing that ever happened to him. but like... sometimes people try things and don't like them. so here's a lil fic about dean bottoming for the first time and not enjoying it. plus cas makes a totally mood-killing joke.

at the edge of chaos

They saw some dinosaurs in the fly-over the day before, so Dean knew he was really, actually, truly going to see real, actual, true dinosaurs, but he still almost drops his camera in the mud when the first stegosaurus comes out of the trees.

Stunned, Dean says, “I’m going to win a Pulitzer.”

Equally stunned, Cas says, “How do I go back to bones after this?”

i've wanted to write a dinosaur fic for 100000 years but was annoyed at how much research would be required. and then i remembered that michael crichton just made shit up for jurassic park and decided i can make shit up too. i wrote this one really quickly and it was soooo fun. there are some super cute dinosaurs, only one really scary scene (but no injuries), and also dean is trans. idk what else you people might want from a fic.

cake or death

“It’s a cursed fertility idol,” Cas says. “It compels procreative activity by causing discomfort, to severe pain, to death, the longer you go without having sex.”

“Death?” Dean repeats. “Fuck or death?”

the prodigal shark has returned to tentacle fics! dean's an idiot in general, there is pining, there is an eddie izzard joke (if you couldn't guess from the title), there is a prehensile dick. a good time all around.

freaky saturday

Slowly, Cas sits up. He’s wearing boxers and a tee when he went to bed nude, and there’s a heaviness to his chest he recognizes but hasn’t felt for years. He looks down and, yes, this must be a nightmare — he used to have this one all the time, where his body reverted to pre-transition, though that doesn’t explain the unfamiliar bedroom or Batman boxers.

for trans bingo square "body swap." let's be real, a lot of body swap fics are gross. idk how to explain it, but a lot of times people use body swap to mean the character is switched to another gender, not that two people switch bodies, and it just comes off like this really... icky... objectification of women's bodies. not here tho!!!! in this one both of them are trans dudes and (sorry to disappoint) they decide that banging while in each other's bodies would be super weird. i agree, i would not want to fuck myself.

on the way down

“Oh my god. What the fuck, Cas.”

The wings sprouting from Cas’s back flutter, maybe the same way his stomach does when he first catches sight of Dean after time apart. “I’m not sure,” he says, miserable. “I messed up a spell, and…”

“You don’t know how to fix it.”

witch + wingfic!! this 3.4k was written in like two days and it was a ton of fun. i really want to write more witch stories!!!

south by

“We have one king ready for you through Saturday night,” the beta says, starting to pull out keycards for them.

“Wait,” Dean says. “There’s supposed to be two rooms.”

She checks the computer again, frowning. “I’m sorry, sir, but there’s only one reservation here.”

this was for trans bingo square "only one bed." because i'm super obnoxious, this was a Non-Traditional A/B/O fic featuring some omega/omega lovin' and cas is trans omega. plus some talk about gender politics — both misogyny and misomegy. but it's fun!

they be here

They’re not actually boyfriends and it’s way too soon for meeting family, but Dean has started wondering what a boyfriend talk would look like. Wondered about meeting Jimmy’s brother — Jimmy’s mate.

this one wasn't very popular (dcj stories never are numbers-wise, but hopefully dcj lovers appreciate the new content!) but it was a lot of fun to write. cas & jimmy are dragons, dean is half werewolf, and it's not uncommon for dragon siblings (especially twins) to be mates. this was the first time i wrote a fic where cas & jimmy's relationship wasn't a secret and that was pretty fun! i also, as usual, had a lot of fun playing with creatures and the way different species navigate each other's cultures.

under water, breathing fine

“You were perfect tonight,” Cas says, voice hushed into a murmur. “Such a good, sweet boy.”

This is enough, Dean tells himself. This is more than he could’ve dreamed, so it has to be enough.

my @acespnminibang bdsm au. i've loved writing ace characters in a/b/o worlds before, and i loved writing this one in a biological bdsm world. cas is ace and having a rough time finding someone to scratch his dom itch because most people do expect sex in that sort of encounter (unless they are into being denied). his bff dean really casually nbd not like he's totally in love offers to help out. i like this one a lot!!

-

also worked on riptides sequel most perfect possession. i know it's been over a year since i posted a chapter (wtf???) but i'm not done with them yet.

[faebriel]

ok ok I'm insane and couldn't pick one so have two (no need to answer both if you don't want to)

“You talk to him.” Not kindly, but he does.

“I’m used to him,” he shoots back. “I’m the only person who is.”

That makes Niki feel something, some uncomfortable tug in her chest. She mentally kicks herself. It’s not jealousy, she reminds herself, because despite the near-cliff jumping and the long nights without food and the nuclear fallout that has punctuated her last few months, being jealous of Tommy would be the least reasonable thing she’s allowed herself to be, maybe ever.

“You don’t believe me,” Tommy says flatly. “You never - eugh.” He cuts himself off with another ragged sigh, running a hand down his face. “Look, Niki, it’s - we were all together in Pogtopia, right? But I was there first. With him. And you didn’t see the start of it, it was horrible, and I’m glad no one else saw the beginning of it either but it was still just so shit and he kept saying all these terrible things about Tubbo and Fundy and you and,” he takes a shaky breath, “then, when I died, I saw him.”

Her breath catches in her throat.

Well, the voice in the back of her head whistles. If you were still wondering about all this afterlife bullshit, if you want to know where you’re going after your third life, here you go.

and

“You didn’t even - this isn’t about L’Manberg, Wilbur!” Niki shouts.

And then he stops, breathing hard, and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say.

“What else is there?” he asks.

Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut, her chest, her shoulders, chilled down to the bone. With slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes, sitting in her throat, threatening to spill over into a sob. She swallows - to keep her cool, to stay calm, to keep it together -

And then, something in her chest just snaps.

“You said you’d come back for me!” she cries, and her voice hitches on the lump of tears at the back of her throat and god, she sounds absolutely pathetic. Wilbur’s face softens immediately, which somehow just makes her feel even worse. “In Manberg. When Schlatt put me in prison, and you and Tommy were in Pogtopia, you said you’d break me out when it was safe. I waited for weeks , Wilbur. It was… it was horrible.”

“Niki…” a kaleidoscope of emotions flicker across his face, and he seems unsure which to settle on. “We got you out though, right? After the festival.”

“You looked for the button first,” she says quietly, and he stills.

Her sniffling sounds embarrassingly loud against the quiet background of night.

thank you sm!!! i’m gonna put these under the cut because they got a little long sorry (tw for discussion of suicidal ideation)

to preface: tommy is kind of the accidental but incredibly necessary invisible support beam for niki and wilbur’s making amends in bitter. niki cannot accept wilbur’s actions and apology without first acknowledging her own actions and making steps towards an apology, because otherwise it kind of falls flat? in that ending scene niki finally gets what wilbur is feeling and wilbur finally gets that someone else knows how he feels (it’s not perfect 100% yet, but…. that’ll get explored later)

onto the actual snippet! “tommy talks to wilbur - not kindly, but he does” was very important to me! tommy has stuck by wilbur ever since pogtopia, but the tragedy is that he is not equipped to deal with wilbur’s issues, and it shows. wilbur’s first stream after revival depicts this really clearly, where tommy tails wilbur around the whole time but insults him, is still stuck on calling him the villain, physically fights him at some point, etc. on one hand this isn’t healthy but on the other hand tommy is actually around, which is more than can be said for basically any other ally wilbur has had on the dsmp, maybe excluding his dad, who literally killed him lmfao.

this whole issue is exacerbated by the fact that tommy believes that he is the only person who properly understands wilbur, the only person who gets what happened to him, and feels like wilbur is generally his burden to bear. he failed to stop wilbur from both 1. hurting other people and 2. killing himself after the pogtopia-manberg war - and he doesn’t trust wilbur not to do either of those things again, so he’s stuck hovering around wilbur while wilbur is inadvertently setting off his own trauma and feeling responsible for any way he might fuck up and hating that but not wanting to leave. tommy’s memory isn’t perfect and he isn’t a perfect narrator, what he remembers from pogtopia the most were the scariest parts and that’s understandable but it means he’s holding wilbur to the worst expectations of behaviour (and he does so very vocally). the others showed up later, sure, but in tommy’s eyes he’s the only one who saw wilbur’s descent, and by the time they showed up wilbur had already changed irreversably. tommy tries to rationalise this by splitting the ‘different wilburs’ apart from each other in his head (he does this in canon too - there’s one quote from like late 2020 where he says he and tubbo need to keep on going for who wilbur used to be, not who he became, even though they’re,, the same person), and no one challenges that perspective, so he just keeps doing it even though it’s not healthy for him or wilbur.

and then limbo happened and, oh geez, THAT didn’t help jhfaskjjfsa

tommy is on a bit of a knife edge with niki in this fic. niki’s in this state of “ok, he’s annoying whatever, i’m moving on”, but all tommy knows is that she tried to kill him that one time, disappeared off the face of the map, joined a book club with two people who definitely do not like him, and now is just acting weirdly mellow and polite. she is not someone he wants near wilbur bc what the fuck is she gonna do? what is he gonna do? who knows. he’s frustrated that niki doesn’t seem to acknowledge how he’s feeling (especially bc once upon a time she would have been someone he trusted to acknowledge them - they were friends, they fought together) and he’s taking a big step by telling someone about his concerns here, especially bc tommy doesn’t really like talking about them at all. he wouldn’t be saying absolutely anything to niki if he didn’t truly believe she should stay away from wilbur, even if he’s wrong about him. (sometimes i think i write tommy as a little too emotionally mature here but it all goes out the window when wilbur’s brought up. idk if that balances it out)

ok onto niki: this is the first she has actually heard of limbo! she’s only just come around to the fact that resurrection is possible at all. death is kind of a touchy subject for niki both in general and re: wilbur in the fic - she’s coming off of a period in her life where suicidal ideation was, uh, a big thing (whether you want to read that into canon or not is subjective, that’s just the angle i went with in this fic). the sudden existence of a life after death, miserable as it is - and whether she really believes in such a place, when it only exists in tommy and wilbur’s words - that is a lot of information for her to absorb all at once. death is a weird connection point for tommy and niki here, coming right off of the fact that they’ve just acknowledged each other having those problems - tommy, out of, yknow, altruism, would very much like to keep niki out of that place, and niki is quietly reckoning with the fact that that is where she would have sent him. the concept of limbo from the perspective of a character with no experience of it, even secondhand, is so interesting to me like what kind of eldritch location would you feel like you’re living in asghjkl

(also - i gotta be honest the jealousy angle here but mostly when she’s talking later about dream not deserving wilbur’s companionship kinda came out after this post came across my dash while writing. whoops /j)

-

fun fact, this is the very first snippet of bitter that i ever wrote! all the way back in may!! this is like the moment of the fic - it's where the miscommunication that niki and wilbur have been having is shattered entirely - and so sticking the landing was uhhh kinda important to me lol.

wilbur's entire being in this fic is basically consumed by L'Manberg - he equates his self worth to it entirely. in his eyes, everyone (rightfully) hates him because of what he did to L'Manberg, because L'Manberg was corrupted and he himself with it, etc. niki tries to tell herself this, and while it definitely does form part of her issues with him, it was the betrayal that causes her this much pain - that he seemingly brushed her and their friendship off entirely when he supposedly left her for dead in manberg. because here is what we as the audience know: wilbur couldn’t leave niki in trouble when he heard her life was in danger, even when he was trying to find the button (pretty much the only thing he sees himself as having left at this point) and so he returned. here is what it looks like from niki’s perspective: wilbur told her to wait in manberg until it was safe to come to pogtopia, laid the place with TNT, went to blow up the place, and only returned when he couldn’t find the detonator (and then the first thing she saw him do in pogtopia was encourage the pit behaviour but that’s not what we’re talking about asdfgh). that is massive miscommunication and it’s been brewing between them for months - to make a quirky little reference to the title, niki has been carrying that anger with her so long it's gone bitter. it was never just about l’manberg with niki - not that anger, not her and wilbur’s friendship (hence the little flashback earlier in the fic, bc niki’s relationship to anarchism and statehood or statelessness juxtaposed with her friendships with wilbur and eret - she loves l’manberg bc she loves wilbur, but she loves eret too and those national ties don’t undermine that - is Real Interesting to me) - so when wilbur asks what else there could possibly be (because in his mind, what else could she have bothered staying around for?), she just fucking breaks.

“Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut...with slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes” - prose discussion time! heat and cold are two big throughlines in this fic - particularly for niki, cold is what she is. admittedly when i started with it i mostly wanted to subvert hot = angry and cold = dead but i kinda ended up enjoying this take on it for what it is instead of just as a subversion (also i like the idea of revived people running hot, their bodies r working hard to keep em going). she’s holding onto her feelings and refusing to deal with them, she’s frozen over. descriptions of cold are key to niki’s mental state throughout the fic - cold weight on her chest, feelings of frostbite when she and wilbur hug the first time, ice cold water during the dinner scene, waking up in the cold flat, etc. this was an attempt at describing a more visceral feeling of like, when you’re really mad and you can just feel the adrenaline running through your veins. always felt more cold than hot to me. when she starts to cry, the facade she’s been putting on is finally thawing out and cracking the ice she’s buried her feelings under. (also gives an excuse to write warm comforting hugs towards the end /hj). it’s a loss, it’s catharsis, it’s a whole mess.

and ofc this is all news to wilbur and he feels terrible, because as unintentional as it was, he really really hurt her - because the destruction of l’manberg fucking sucked but above all else wilbur hurt the people he loved because they loved him so much and not in spite of it, because they cared about him so deeply and his death was a massive blow to them. this hasn’t even dawned on him, because how could it? he respects deeply niki (lowkey respects her opinion more than his own at this point) so he has to listen, because it’s niki (“and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say” - because he does), and what she says fucking floors him. in his eyes, he failed her by putting her in danger and then by destroying her home - the idea that she valued him and their friendship so much flies entirely over his head until this moment, and he is forced to re-evaluate the mindset that has motivated him since… basically since pogtopia! the way i write wilbur is like… yes, he’s one of niki’s closest friends and he’s more aware of her insecurities and issues than most (which is why he does always take the time to listen to her, etc) but he does over-idealise her a bit. tbf, i think he does to some extent with everyone (calling tubbo strong on the anniversary stream, for example). also the fact that he really wasn’t around for niki’s lowest moments as a character! he still thinks of her the way she was in l’manberg - confident, steadfast, respected - and this moment shatters that for him as he realises exactly what effect he and his death had on her and everyone else, not just by his actions, but because they loved him and cared for him so deeply.

sorry that this got horrifically long!! and thank you so much for sending snippets in <3333

[cattles-bians]

exes au part 12

post directory

obsetress: don’t ask why i had this thought because i couldn’t tell you but

obsetress: jamie wakes up in the middle of the night one night and is like “i... had a dream. about vi”

obsetress: and dani’s like “ok baby” and just nuzzles deeper into her pillow and jamie’s like

obsetress: “no, dani, a... a dream”

obsetress: and dani’s like “oh. oh” and is immediately wide awake and bright eyed

obsetress: and is like “was it any good?” and jamie is just. already flushed so red and flushed deeper and dani just hums

em: sighs wistfully

em: i also love that something compels jamie to tell dani Immediately

em: oh the perils of begrudgingly being friends w ur gfs ex

em: jamies like um. no see i can see all these different things my brain mashed together and WHY i had this dream and danis like ok but that wasn’t my question....

obsetress: jamie finally throws up her hands “of course it was”

em: jamie: And You Can’t Tell Vi She’ll Be Insufferable

obsetress: dani, very plainly, at brunch the next morning: so vi

obsetress: jamie looks like she’s going to have a heart attack and dani lets her sweat and then just smiles sweetly “i like those sunglasses. are they new?”

em: jamie what’s the problem (nothin. indigestion)

obsetress: dani very smug n thinks she’s very funny

obsetress: (she is a little funny)

em: one of jamies many ‘oh that’s why they dated’ moments

obsetress: “fookin sick, the both of ya”

em: idk why you had this thought but i’m GREATLY amused

obsetress: skskksksks right

obsetress: jamie explaining her dream to dani in great detail afterwards

obsetress: dani sitting there nodding and hmming “oh that sounds like her. no, she wouldn’t do that. now THAT she would be very good at, you’d like it”

em: i need a moment

em: jamie thinks the dark hides her massive fucken blush but it Doesn’t

em: dani can feel her heating up

obsetress: jamie “i don’t ask you to do this” dani “you’re not stopping me”

em: dani critiquing jamies sex dream is such a fucken funny concept sjdhdkhdkdhdkc

obsetress: RIGHT

obsetress: i’m dying

em: dani: oh no that’s OOC

obsetress: she wouldn’t have a riding crop jamie, it’s 2021, not 16—

em: jamie: it’s a wet dream do u really think it’s gonna have beta readers and a three act structure

em: dani hums

obsetress: dani: well did you enjoy it

obsetress: jamie: i— dani: did you?

obsetress: jamie mumbling yeah

em: jamies like i’m gonna interrogate dani next time, see how she feels- but she forgets dani is incapable of feeling shame

obsetress: like dani wouldn’t just launch into a ramble

---

em: viola

obsetress: fuck

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: to jamie, specifically,

em: to jamie specifically andhdjhdjd

em: once again ironic jamvi has turned, in my brain, into ‘yes and....’ jamvi

—-

obsetress:

obsetress: jamie sending this to viola n vi's like

obsetress: she doesn't get it because she's convinced her taste is immaculate

---

em: anyway this is ooc even for exes au but i keep thinking abt like. jamie tryna crack how old viola is (she cant be 34 im 30 it doesnt make sense) and going through her fb timeline like. 'aha! motivational quotes. gotta be late 30s' and danis either like

em: danis either like 'you have a notebook where you write down all the quotes you like baby' OR shes like haha ok thats fair (posts another motivational quote on her fb)

obsetress: god i love that so much

obsetress: both of those dani responses are

obsetress: honestly porque no los dos if we're already going ooc

obsetress: i do think the first bit "gotta crack it she can't be 34 i'm 30 it doesn't make sense" is in character fwiw

em: obviously i was inspired by ur post in the milf channel abt viola always saying shes 35

em: big brain

—-

obsetress: this is literally just. exes au rebecca

obsetress: down to the caption

obsetress: vi and rebecca patiently staging like full photoshoots for each other every time one of them wants a pic otp: i'm not high maintenance, you're just low effort

---

em: bold 2 say that we don’t think about jamie and vi tho

em: gotta keep some sorta. presentation of respectability

em: they absolutely couldn’t date tho

obsetress: lmao ikr

obsetress: yeah no they'd kill each other

obsetress: now just thinking of silly circumstances and um

obsetress: rebecca's out of town and dani's flying back from some iowa thing jamie couldn't get away for to go with

obsetress: and viola's like "oh, just stay at ours, it's closer and i'll get you a car"

obsetress: and just like

obsetress: imagining the two of them cohabitating at vi's for a night

em: jamie sneaking around at night tryna find the bathroom and runs straight into vi in a face mask and a dangerously low dressing gown Again

obsetress: the parallels to canon

obsetress: im giggling

obsetress: walks straight into her path

em: opens a door. sees something she doesn’t want to see. immediately turns and walks away

em: god the face mask would make her look like the lady in the lake

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: vi wants to go out to dinner, jamie's just like "i'm already getting up early to go to the airport, can't we just have an easy night in"

em: what did i say before. that thing abt if ur friends w damie you will inevitably walk in on them

obsetress: god yeah

em: flip of that.

obsetress: oh GOD

em: god they would argue about dinner

em: bicker about EVERYTHING

em: dani and rebecca both make the married couple joke

em: jamie goes pale

obsetress: wait sorry i just went back to tahirahs insta post and like

obsetress: katie parker commented and was like "i love these shots of you" and she was like "thanks luv " and i'm like

obsetress: why does this....... still track........... with exes au...............

em: perdy is always a little too flirty w vis paramours

obsetress: always! except dani for whatever reason

obsetress: she's just scared of dani

em: Please

obsetress: rebecca's like "i don't see what the problem is. she can do what she wants, but you trust me, don't you?" "of course i trust you" rebecca shrugs "that's it then, isn't it?"

obsetress: anyway vi huffs n crosses her arms n pouts a little bit and is like "well i don't want her to"

obsetress: rebecca is endeared and uses the opportunity to her advantage like the top leaning switch she is

em: dani rebecca parallels: always dtf

obsetress: perdi and vi fighting and vi's like "are you even gay? or do you just want what i have?" and perdi is like "does it matter?"

em: are you even gay perdi nahdkdhdkdhd

em: perdi is like you KNOW about jamie and viola crinkles her nose bc she forgot about that and she’s starting to respect jamie as a person

obsetress: djflakdkfjldkadjLDJFLSKDFJLSDKFJx

obsetress: i screeched

em: viola: you only MET jamie because i hired her for landscaping you fucking-

obsetress: just thinking about perdita watching jamie working on some property sweating in a tank top and Deciding

em: bringing out some lemonade etc

em: haha you look parched

obsetress: smiling widely, turning on the charm

obsetress: jamie is very attractive and very swoonworthy, but perdita 100% only goes for it because she refuses to let viola have one (1) thing

obsetress: and that extends to lesbianism

em: viola's like no this is normal right. siblings competing. rivalries etc and danis like uh i’m an only child and jamies like uh i raised my brother

em: they don’t know how to tell her sure it happens but it’s also extremely fucken weird vi

obsetress: jamie: you have to tell her dani: why do i have to tell her jamie: you tell her everything dani: i don't tell her–– ok, i tell her most things. i'm not sure i want to tell her this though jamie: why not dani: she's not... she's not gonna like it jamie: So You Might Be A People Pleaser,

em: jamie: i can’t tell her. she’s only just forgotten the perdi thing. what if she remembers i’ve

em: in depth character study of viola and perdi’s fucked up rivalry

em: violas like goddamn it do i have to fuck jamie to get even

obsetress: i––

em: she decides against it

em: jamie is none the wiser

obsetress: she Considers it tho

em: jamie would die on the spot if she knew

obsetress: weighs the pros and cons

obsetress: the best part is like

obsetress: this is all post-danvi and pre-damie right so when dani n jamie see rebecca and vi at that video store

obsetress: viola's like wait.

obsetress: wait

obsetress: dani ending up with the hot gardener her sister fucked because she has bizarre jealousy and possession issues is really just the cherry on top of a shit sundae

em: the funniest part of all our very tangled lore is like

em: none of it contradicts bc it’s even funnier when it’s Extremely Ugly And Messy

em: because lesbians are just... like that

---

obsetress: exes au au where viola did fuck jamie, the video rental shop scene is 100 times more awkward

em: don’t think about it don’t think about it dont

em: i am thinking about it

em: jamie has to deal with having been railed by all three of them instead of just the two

em: it feels very uneven to her bc rebeccas a doll, dani, u don’t understand, and ur only running into one ex,

obsetress: talk about the mortifying ordeal of being known

obsetress: "wait, that's your ex?" "yeah" "dani" "what" "dani" "what" jamie's voice is hushed but a lil pitchy and a lot panicky "i think i fucked your ex" "you think?" "i fucked your ex" "you fucked her or she fucked you? because i'm sorry, baby, but i really don't think––"

em: sorry, baby, but i really don’t think-

em: SCREAMED

obsetress: that might be my fave lil bit i've ever written adlfkjasdklf

em: dani being a little too interested in jamie getting railed is like. everything to me

obsetress: jamie's already big blushing

em: a little secret between hannah obsetress and em cowlesbian but i am So thinking abt it

em: patreon exclusive exes au au

[em edit: you can imagine how long this lasted]

obsetress: no one is happy about this situation except dani, who is delighted

em: after, jamie's like. what did u mean by u don’t think that...

em: puffs out her chest

em: i could have-

em: danis like yeah but i know u didn’t did u

obsetress: dani clayton ilu

em: danis like um

em: completely unprompted bc dani ‘finishes a conversation 5 hours later’ is really funny to me

em: danis like i did tho

em: jamies like can you DROP IT

em: she’s SMUG

em: she’s so pleased w herself

obsetress: in bed with the lights off jamie's pulling the sheets up and closing her eyes afterthought

obsetress: just a happy lil hum and an "i did, though"

obsetress: and jamie knows IMMEDIATELY what she's talking about

em: dani never lets jamie live it down

obsetress: never!

obsetress: they'll be washing dishes one day "hey baby?" "hmm" "you slept with a landlord"

em: oh um. flipping the whole ‘experienced jamie virginal dani’ trope everyone loves but

em: i love the idea of dani being like hey jamie did u ever- and jamies like (grumbles) does it matter

em: dani is mentally applying a gold star to her chart

obsetress: ksdljfskdfjlsdjflksdjaf

obsetress: the gold star

em: at this point dani is absolute just tryna tease jamie so she’s like oh well when- and jamies like ok i get it

em: jamie Pretends not to be a little interested

obsetress: meanwhile vi and rebecca very matter of factly swapped stories the first day they Realized

obsetress: vibecca swapping stories and their stories complimenting each other so well that they're like well. hmm

obsetress: glad those two found each other

em: two praise kinks u say

em: ok sorry one more thought i’m thinking abt like

em: jamie staying over (idk if this is before or during damie) and viola and perdi are having yet another spat on the phone and violas like

em: no you ALWAYS do this, whatever you think you’re doing with rebecca-‘ and she barely hears some muffled sorta ‘oh, sorry, remember jamie-

em: and jamies doing the maths. hmm

em: jamies like actually i refuse to examine this further. self care

em: brings it up with dani later and dani LOSES her shit laughing

em: haha jamie you got willoughby’ed

obsetress: SCREAMS

obsetress: you got willoughby'd

obsetress: how does one get willoughbyd asking for a friend

em: yeah same asking for a friend

obsetress: dani, gigglesnorting: wait, you hooked up with... with perdi?

obsetress: (dani hates perdita because viola hates perdita and it is a deep seated hatred she refuses to unlearn)

obsetress: a loyalty strange and enduring, despite it all

em: to be fair perdi is the Worst

em: all of these characters i love to make sympathetic and then perdi is where i draw the line akdhdkhd

em: it’s funnier if she’s awful

em: like a viola that never gets therapy

obsetress: lldjfkaskldfj god same

obsetress: it's too good

em: danis like wait hold on. lemme get a pen

em: makes a silly little chart

em: if the fandom tries to make jamie into a shane the l word character i will simply take that and make jamie mortified abt her uh. well! a pretty girl is nice to her and she forgets how to behave

em: jamie's like oh sure like u don’t have embarrassing flings- and danis like yeah but i don’t interact w them on a daily basis jamie

em: also i didn’t fuck perdi

obsetress: skskskflsdflks

obsetress: "you did fuck perdi though, right? because that just be embarrassing, jamie, if she had been the one who..."

em: skgsdjhdkdhdk

em: jamie grumbles something abt pillow princesses and dani like

em: CLAPS her hands in glee

obsetress: jlsdjflkJSDFKJSDFJ

obsetress: GOD

obsetress: she's immediately pulling out her phone to text vi

em: jamies like why would u message her sister that u freak n danis like oh no theyre very open with each other it’s uh. hmm. anyway

[khaleesiofalicante]

OH MY GOD! ITS HAPPENING! Its only the summary and I’m emo 😂 I should be studying for my exams, but I have tomorrow for that ;)

Ok, lets do this:

UDHWIJSHW THEY ARE SO CUTE FOR EACH OTHER I CANT-

"He preferred to hide his heart away. But he couldn’t hide David. He didn’t want to. David deserved to be seen." Like father like son. Both speeking poetry about their love ones. (and no, Idk which father I'm talking about 😂)

“I don’t think they are fake dating,” David hummed from the other end. “You don’t talk for hours every night if you are just fake dating.” (THANK YOU DAVID! SOMEONE THAT ITS NOT BLIND)

"They like doing chores. Let them do it. They fight demons all day and then come home and do chores. I feel like it’s their form of therapy. They need this.”“So, by not helping them, we are technically helping them?” Bapa had asked and Max had nodded with a grin. “Shadowhunters are weird.” “True dat,” Max had laughed. They were all weirdos. But Max loved them anyway. He loved his weird shadowhunters. (The domesticity lf this is killing me in a good way🥺)

“Will you on a date with me? Tomorrow?” Max asked then – because why the hell not. (Hell yeah Max. Go big or go home babe😎)

“This date is going to be the best first date in the history of first of dates.” In retrospect, he really shouldn’t have said that. (I'm already feeling his chaotic ass will do something like Magnus did, but lets keep hope)

"Maybe Lexi and Liv would probably enjoy a date – a fake date - in the arcade." Could I be more in love with both of them?? Is that physically possible?? 💙

Elyaas giving Max dating advice!! Lmaooo 😂😂

"His parents would not be pleased if they knew Max was summoning demons for relationship advice. But they had also encouraged Max to make friends with everyone regardless of their identity. So, technically this was their fault. They gave him very mixed messages."  YOU LIL SHIT. YOU ARE NOT WRONG THO...

FUCK. An attack??

You lil shit Max.

Yep, Rafael has to deal with it everyday 😂

OOMG YESS. THE ALIANCE RUNE!!

"So, when he got tired, he would simply fix the problem by eating. It was a win-win to be honest." I feel like I should say something, but tbh it makes sense

Ok, this fight is intense

Wait. Anjali is there???  What?

Oh ok, it wasn’t

“Say the thing!”Rafael groaned and raised his hands, the alliance rune lighting up.“I’m not just a shadowhunter,” Rafael said through gritted teeth. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.” I'm dead 😂

THAT SCENE WAS EVERYTHING. LOVE THOSE TWO

“Well, demons are stupid,” Max pointed out. “Yeah, that makes sense,” Rafael said with a mouthful of food. “You are half demon after all.” “Asshole,” Max laughed and punched his brother.

“Text dad we are okay,” Rafael said, slowly recovering. “They will worry.”Max nodded and did that. (This just summ up sibling relationships so well *chef kiss*)

“It can be hard, Max. Bapak and dad…Sometimes I look at them and feel like I will never have what they have.” YUP. THEY HAVE SIBLINGS DYNAMIC. ALSO RAFAEL IS JUST 🥺🥺🥺

David got wounded???

Oh ok. False alarm.

Rafael sat down next to him and put Bapak’s head on his lap, gently massaging it.

“Are you okay?” dad knelt down next to his husband. “Just a little tired,” Bapak replied.A little tired. Max knew Bapak was fucking exhausted."  "Bapak never showed it. He never complained. Max wondered what else he hid away from everyone else." “Okay,” dad whispered and kissed his husband on the head. “Get some rest, my love.” Bapak nodded and closed his eyes as Rafael hummed something softly. (Well, now I'm crying 😭😭)

" His niece found an herbal medication that helps with the pain.” ANJALI!! I LOVE HER💙💙

"Dad finally smiled and went out to the balcony, phone in hand. He seemed to hang out in the balcony a lot lately" No no no. I dont like this. Babe find a better copying mechanism!!

"Bapak smiled then. A brilliant grin. The one dad probably fell in love with." jsyeihdiej I cant🥺💙

"Bapak sniffed when dad sat down next to him and gave him an odd look. But he didn’t say anything." Magnus tell him something. I dont like where this is going😭

“Does that mean Bapak is a capitalist?” Max asked. “Do not drag me into this!” Bapak protested and dad laughed at that" Ahh yess. Typical family discussions 😂

"David: Mr Herondale yelled “Yes! Two out of three!” (😂😂 I HONESTLY LAUGHED WAY TO HARD!!)

“Well, no! I don’t want drama. But I want you to be dramatic so I can tell you not to be dramatic!” I would like to say WHAT? but I honestly get it 😂

“Also, we all know you had an embarrassing crush on Uncle Jace growing up,” Rafael snickered. “And you definitely still have a crush on Uncle Jem.” Oh god 😂😂 but I mean... Who doesn't have a crush on Jem?

“Oh yeah?” Max demanded. “Well then let me explain your type. You are probably going to fall for someone who is like a combination of Aunt Izzy and Aunt Lily! Some femme fatale type who is a heartbreaker and looks like a supermodel and-” Boy got it right huh? 😂

“You two are dating?” dad demanded. “Since when? Who else knows about this? Why didn’t you tell us before? Were you dating when you were in London? Magnus, did you know about this?” “There you go!” Max yelled triumphantly. “That’s the dramatic reaction I was looking for. Thanks, dad!” lmaooo 😂😂

"And that’s how the next hour turned out to be the most painful and most embarrassing hour of his life." I. I have no words

“I’ll have you know this conversation utterly traumatized me. I demand financial compensation.” “Not happening,” dad said into his coffee, and Max groaned before walking back into his room. (THAT FAMILY 😂😂)

" I tried to hurt your father once.” OH no, the angst is coming

" He didn’t know about this. He knew about their story. Everyone did. The accords hall kiss. The fight in Edom. The changing of the law. Their love was legendary. Not this!" THIS IS BRINGING BACK SO MANY FLASHBACKS

“All I know is that I was terrified. I love your father. I love Magnus more than anything in the world. And I didn’t want to lose him. And I didn’t know what to do.” 😭😭 NOT AGAIN!!

"When you love someone so much, sometimes you do crazy things.” THIS

" Love had made a fool out of them. Love had made them blind." Yup. tsc: a summary

"When you love someone, you have to be honest with them" And THAT is character development!!

"They called it The Jem effect." I'm using this from now on 😂💙💙

"Uncle Jem was wearing a tank top and and ripped jeans." So its time for SIMP over Jem Carstairs? Okey then.

"In fact, he used to have a crush on both Tessa and Jem. It’s how he had found he was bisexual." Same here 😂

“MINA! I SWEAR TO LILITH I AM GOING TO GET YOU BACK FOR THIS!” OH MY GOD I LOVE MINA!!

“In my defense, I was busy!!” “Oooo, someone has been getting busy!” Mina WINKED. (You lil shit! I love her 💙)

He didn’t know he could blush!!!

" They had gone to hell and back for Roman. It wouldn’t have been possible if not for Catarina. She was, and always has been, a miracle worker." Again, I love my queen💙💙

“I believe in Mavid supremacy.” ME TOO

"There is something so queer about Ferris wheels!" Someone needed to say this

"They had their own space in the spiral fucking labyrinth. These fucking legends." I BELIEVE IN WARLOCK TEAM SUPREMACY

"But Ragnor had always had a soft spot for Rafael." 🥺🥺

I love my warlock squad so much I cant-

Ragnor is so done😂

“I don’t want to lose him,” Max said it out loud for the first time. “But you will, Max,” Catarina said gently. “Everyone loses people they love. Every day. It’s how life works.” (its to early to be crying)

“Yes, we do,” Ragnor replied. “But it also means we fall in love over and over. Century after century. It’s our blessing.” (these warlocks are just to perfect)

“And that love is going to last for a lifetime,” Tessa said softly. “Can you imagine that? Someone loving you for centuries. Someone remembering you for eternity. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?” 🥺🥺

David deserved to be loved like that – endlessly and impossibly. (OK BUT THE PARALLEL)

Tessa should definetly write a guidebook

“Je t’aime à la folie,” Max said.David’s eyes widened. “Vraiment?“ "Je t’aime. Je t’aime de toute mon âme. Je t’aime pour toujours.” ( I literally screamed and woke up my sister, I just love them so much!!!)

"David smiled. The smile Max fell in love with" 🥺🥺

“I know I am not your forever and I am okay with that.” Max bit his lip. “Okay.” “But you are mine,” David said. “You know that, right?” (ksidjdldk its just all this was beautiful!)

“I got it all planned,” Max said – for someone who had no idea what he was going to do." (Me as I should be studying 😂)

" And you were just scared. You were just a kid." “I just…I just realized you might not have had that when you were growing up – that there might not have been people you could talk to about these things.” THAT!! LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!

"Max pulled him closer and kissed him again. Every kiss a promise. A promise to love. A promise to fight. A promise to survive" I would die for this two

OMG he took him to the Celestial Palace!! Thats so perfect and 🥺🥺

“Oh mon dieu! Ceci est incroyable! Il y a tellement de livres! Oh mon dieu! Je l'aime tellement!”💙💙 Idk how you manage to make me love David even more

“Of course he doesn’t hate you!” Max chuckled. “But he did say he will put your nerd ass in the silent city if you don’t bring me home by 11.” David blinked. “You’re joking, right?” “Of course,” Max grinned. His father had actually said that but there was no need to scary poor David any further. (😂😂 Imagine having the Consul as father-in-law, poor David)

“Yeah, not good with words my ass,” Exactly!! They say they are not good with words and procede to recite poetry of their love one??!!

Ughh I love this chapter so much and I loved how they deal with the inmortality thing! I just love when people comunicate and talk to each other! THATS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP! And how they didn't repeat Alec and Magnus mistake. I just love it! *chef kiss*

Anyway, this was really long and it took to open notes to fullfill, so i'll just leave💙💙

Bro I just felt like I read the whole chapter again and I am feels. I AM FEELS SEND HELP. Not me catching feels over my own shit lmaooooo.

Thank you so much. I have some work to do and I was like meh and now I have some energy to do it lol. I hope you spend tomorrow studying! You better!! Good luck!

ps - I love you notice the parallels and references. It makes me lil heart go boop!

also why do I feel like y'all are eternally doing exams????

[gossip-girl-of-middleearth]

Um hi, so this might be a little weird but do you mind if i rant about something real quick? I usually wouldn't but i'm kinda stressed out rn and this blog is already full of chaos (in the best way of course)

Ok heres the thing: for my entire life i have been a very intense daydreamer but lately it has been driving me crazy! Not in the particulary bad way tho i love my ocs and thinking about them and their world but there is so much shit going on!! Basically i'm stuck creating a world with several separate realms (that is the most fitting word i can think of) which are all PHISICLY connected (in a way) but have developed differently in culture, tradition and all that but its people have interacted because of that one time that one bitch fucked shit up bad. I favorise one of the realms cause it's the original one and sort of where all the important shit goes down. It was easier while it was on its own, not that i think adding the other ones was a bad idea (they actually add the diversity i needed) i just have too many stories in my head! There are also my original creatures which all need more cultural developing. Then i remember the characters speak some kinds of languages. What is a timelane? I just dont know. And there is this big main story whose characters have been with me my entire fucking life and i love them so so much but. But. There is no conherent plot whatsoever. It changes all the fucking time, idk where im going and its annoying. Then there are stories with actual conherent plot that i don't pay enough attention too beacuse im biased. Now i kinda fear i'll forget something important from all the different ages, characters lives, legends and so on. And yes i know i should write this shit down but there is just too much idk where to start. Plus there is this weird feeling that my writing is not good enough and that i won't be able to accurately portray the characters i love so dearly. Which is silly of course, i know i should just practise and that writing takes time but it is what it is.

All right i hope that wasn't too strange. About all the seriuos problems in my life i can talk to friends or family but I just needed to talk to someone about these stories since they are such a big part of my life noone knows about (and if they do they know just a fraction i was willing to share at the moment). Anyway, feel free to ignore this but it really made me feel better.

Have a lovely day/night! 💛

I'm so sorry this was such a long rant!

P.s. english isn't my native laguage so forgive if the grammer and spelling are questionable its 1 am and im tired

You seem stressed, my friend. Now please excuse my shitty formatting, for I am on laptop and feel like a cat trying its best to play the piano but can't because I have stubby little paws.

It seems to me that you're making things way harder for yourself than necessary! It can be tricky when people like Tolkien are our inspiration, because we hold both him and his work on a hard to reach pedestal (as we should, he's a god). But, we need to remember; we're not Tolkien, and we'll never be Tolkien. Literally. None of us will ever be as clever or good as him. He's one of those writers that comes around every few centuries.

Now, with that hard to swallow pill out of the way, I offer you a new one - a chill pill!

Relax, my friend. The whole point of writing is to explore ourselves and who we are in a safe and controlled environment. We should be happy when creating, not drained and frustrated.

You don't want to build resentment towards a project simply because you're overdoing it and yourself (trust me, been there done that).

I'd suggest finding one small part of your world and starting there. Whether it be the flora, fauna, language or characters - start small and build your way up!

[juwon-ah-moved]

ok this is the anon who got outed again (we really do need a better name but im not good with names skfkdkskdjfkfk) im curious about your opinion on todays episode and the whole wai thing! i personally am so conflicted because i knew the entire time they were gonna give wai a redemption arc bc this is a thai drama and thats just how they work, but at the same time, like what he did is so genuinely fucked up. jimmy played the perfect character of someone who outed someone else because ive never seen anyone who outed someone not make it about themselves and play the victim. its so weird because im stuck between praising paof for showing how damaging and shitty it is to out someone and criticizing him for giving wai a redemption arc… what do you think?

hey friend!! uhm what about... buddy anon?? 😭 idek i suck at (nick)names too. but ig it could work bc we're talking about bad buddy, but you're like, just a buddy not bad ???? who the hell knows

anyway hello sorry im so late but i didn't have time/energy to watch bb til last night. but okay im a bit conflicted as well. i think outing someone is unforgivable, like you'd need to really put in so much work to be forgiven for something like that. and wai didn't do anything?? he didn't say sorry, didn't feel sorry, painted himself as the victim and demanded PRAN said sorry. idk i am not sure if it was made clear enough that it was wai in the wrong in the whole situation. cause it was all about pran and pat being the bigger people, more mature, trying to get wai to talk to pran and all that... when really it should be like, wai go fuck yourself until you come begging on your knees to be forgiven and be pran's friend again, and then maybe you can still be in his life. i just didn't like that pran and especially pat had to do all this work for what? for a piece of shit who outed them to be okay with them again? like dude (wai) get over yourself and try to think about why pran didn't tell you. LOOK at the way you reacted and tell me you can't see why he hid it from you. seriously wtf.

so in the end, i don't know, i did also expect wai to be redeemed, but if this is really it for that storyline, i am a bit disappointed. if he really had to be redeemed, i wish they'd done it a different way. cause to me this isn't redemption at all. you need to show you're a better person, and for me that just didn't happen with wai. he only came around bc pat got hurt for him. but he didn't show any remorse. so i'm not buying it and fuck wai still.

hope this made sense, and hope you have a good day/night 💙