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baekhvuns · 1 year

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Maybe smaller fields were the reason because??? Or maybe they didn't know how to defend back then (some defenders still aren't sure what their role is 👿) it's so funny with Borussia sjsvahahsjshsjsjs

Weirder shit happened so Ancelotti couching Brazil wouldn't surprise me. If Zidane wanted to stay in France then I'd have to respect it, you're right him leading PSG would be hilarious, but I want him back </3

It was serious for Ronaldo lmao, they should've just fought outside the stadium tbh

Arsenal vs Man Utd was jshsushsjwjsusjs Arsenal shooting 25 times and MU only 6?! Winning 3:2, only losing one game so far and only 2 draws? I'm really living in a different reality rn. Heeeeey why do you want me to suffer? Maybe I'll see Arsenal achieve something in CL too 😭😭😭 Chelsea and Liverpool stand up wtf, it's a bit funny ngl

Yeah the vibes definitely off... good riddance then, this is so fucked. Busquets go away challenge

Also William and Harry are very different so that's important to consider, maybe Charles and Harry just aren't compatible as people, both Charles and Will are more robotic to me skshsjhsjshsavavsnja

NCT's concerts are big strip clubs tbh 😭😅 A BIT overpriced if you ask me... SM needs to stop being a monster of capitalism for one second. Literally what I thought about when the Lisa contract thing came out, they're going the football route.

Right what were they thinking making GOT perform their song weeks before the release??? Most people watch that performance since the MV is just boring. Maybe Girls on Top need more appearances, have variety shows like SuperM, idk DO SOMETHING or end this shitshow

Welcome to the Go Eunhyuk simp nation! 🤌🏻❤

Idc about HP anymore, but yeah the first two movies were magical to me! Lmao that's the Wimpy kid? I haven't seen the movies I only read a few books. Right miss Blake is busy making kids 😭 btw I recently re-watched some of Gossip Girl, godddd what a mess, but I lived for the drama. I totally forgot Sebastian Stan was in it

I still have snakes wrapped around my leg permanently, Slytherin through and through lol

I can believe the Pique thing is true, because these people aren't even slick and when you go places you see and hear a lot of shit. I saw so many questionable things in London, lots of open secrets as well 🔫

Ailee changed her photo caption and CB got mad, but yeah girl.... should've just deleted the photo

At least Birmingham has Peaky Blinders, but what does Brampton have?

Baek.... I'll look away from that aunt comment. Hwa's niece biasing the demon line omg. The "Sehun" webtoon is still on-going and I'm reading it, but at what cost 😭

Seonghwa hasn't posted a selfie in ages, word on the street is blonde Hwa is gone I'M COMMITTING IF TRUE 🤧🤧🤧🤧 Mingi's hair is dark too... But as long as no scissors were involved... unless he cut his hair then I'm killing everyone eh, anyways like I said if I can't see blonde Hwa live then no euro Atinys can. Though there are so many ot8 black hair enthusiasts (couldn't be me)

But god, look at this hair here!!!

Kpop stans actually fighting irl is even more hilarious and pathetic 😭

HIM and yeah we can SEE your love for tank tops💀 - DV 💖

helloo!!

no bc how small be these fields actually 😭😭 having that win in today’s football is near impossible, the max ppl can get is, sure, a 8-9 and even a 10 if they have some super team 🤚🏻 NO BC DO U DEE THOSE COMPILATIONS OF OLDER DEFENDERS DOING NOTHING and then see a maradona beating the shit out of them <3 borussia so funny and why’s bayern on top again 😭😭😭 fraud

yeah he’s in the race but im desperately wanting the special one for brazil 😭😭 but i think luis enrique might actually make it fbfb RIGHT FBDB HE HAS EXPERIENCE LEADING RM’S EGO’S PSG’S WOULD BE NOTHING IN FRONT OF HIM, that mashup would be crazy seeing the players too PHEWWW,,, it really was 😭😭😭 i don’t doubt he jumped ramos after bc of his tackle fhekfhkdjcc

arsenal was OUT FOR MAN UNITED, the reality going to turn insane when man city v arsenal happens,,, it’s so funny to watch their matches w everyone esp bc anthony 😭😭 i just know the defence and the strikers are going to go a lil crazy 😭😭 anon u can only hope atp the cl standings are a bit crazy right now,,, man city is right behind arsenal one mistake and arsenal’s ticked off 😭😭 aND NEWCASTLE?? they on a roll 😯😳 silva’s longevity @ chelsea is so insane, best player this season there tbh,,, chelsea has beasts BUT WHAT IS GOING ON

their transfers have been REALLY good maybe it’s the playing style 😭 but why are all these transfer market rumours so wild, theres a messi barca return rumour, him going man city 😭😭😭 neymar following him AND THEY BETTER MOVE BC PSG IS SO FUCKED ronaldo almost going to bayern ???? 😭😭😭 modric w alnassr rejection,, kane and tottenham, love the drama <3

Yeah the vibes definitely off... good riddance then, this is so fucked. Busquets go away challenge

YEAHH,,, esp bc he did on the nye?? + his wife had just lost her mother and they were mourning and this fucker went out and did this ???? hell,, absolute helll,,, prison fc hope they make it to copa del prison <3 18 years prison lessgaurr and this?? 😳😳

Also William and Harry are very different so that's important to consider, maybe Charles and Harry just aren't compatible as people, both Charles and Will are more robotic to me skshsjhsjshsavavsnja

YEAAHHH def not compatible i think, personally i feel more for william not only bc he’s a community favourite (he and kate i find quite lowkey bc they keep quiet and get their work done and go home <3) also bc he had to live his life a certain way bc he’s the heir,,, tbh if i was his sibling id be ecstatic “i get to be rich, live in castles, have fame and not have the responsibilities of an actual heir??? IM IN??” harry missed out bro <3 pls behave urself a little 😭😭 BUT SOPHIE AND EDWARD?? 🤚🏻 actually the best ones out there 🤚🏻

LMFAOOOO YOURE RIGHT AN EXPENSIVE STRIP CLUB 😭😭😭 sm need to stop with the amount of versions they do for groups,, just stuck to 2 and do a repackage of 2 😭😭 DO NOT DO THE RVERY MEMBER GETS ON ITS SO HARD TO COLLECT !!!! and if yg wants to keep bp they have to give them 16mill each??? this is some way to keep them from transferring gbfbf oh to be lisa rn 😭😭

like it’s just makes us be like oh i already heard it, don’t wanna hear it again 😭😭 what a stupid way to promo it,,, YEAH give them a variety show like superm! similar concept like retreat show,, since sm’s now getting a new ceo IT BETTER LIKE EXO, AND GIVE EVERYONE PROMOS AND CONCERTS BC CHRIS LEE CAN GO TO HELL EUNHYUK IM A BIG SIMP FOR YOU SO BAD 😭😭

first two are top tier! last two are elite with storyline !!! YEAH HIM 😭😭 the cast is insanely talented cannot wait for this blockbuster <3 NO SRS PLS BRING BLAKE BACK RYAN HANDLE THE KIDS 😭😭😭 NEED BLAKE IN A ROM COM !!! stop i watched an edit for gossip girl and it revealed who it actually was and as much as the way it’s written, the drama is ELITE nothing can top it actually maybe PLL but 🤚🏻

I still have snakes wrapped around my leg permanently, Slytherin through and through lol //// I can believe the Pique thing is true, because these people aren't even slick and when you go places you see and hear a lot of shit. I saw so many questionable things in London, lots of open secrets as well 🔫

do you speak parseltongue then 👁👁 im gonna need u to tell me them, im actually bri’ish and it would be criminal for u to not say them 🔫 be vague about it 🔫 MY EARS ARE OPEN

Ailee changed her photo caption and CB got mad, but yeah girl.... should've just deleted the photo // At least Birmingham has Peaky Blinders, but what does Brampton have?

YEAAH the explanation was shitty too like srs bro we know 😭😭 FBNWBDEKH HEY THATS NOT EVEN A VALID COMPARISON 😭😭 see brampton might have the actual hells angels groups

Baek.... I'll look away from that aunt comment. Hwa's niece biasing the demon line omg. The "Sehun" webtoon is still on-going and I'm reading it, but at what cost 😭

NO NO ☺️☺️ DO NOT LOOK AWAY ☺️☺️ U SAW IT ☺️☺️ his niece has taste,,, convinced the entire family has atp,, STILL??? AT WHAT COST MY QUESTION EXACTLY 😭😭 but bestie a new webtoon “only hope” and the art is wowzie and it’s spicey <3

dojin <3

GET THE FUCK OUT IS HE BLOND????? if it’s not this i don’t want it see if it’s this anon we are done, euro tinys cannot experience this

IT SHOULD BE US FBWMFBKWBFKW

OH MY GOD,,,, THAT HAIR FOR FREE???? OH MY GOD I HOPE HE KEEPS IT FOREVER PLS 😭😭😭 ITS SO STUNNING

Kpop stans actually fighting irl is even more hilarious and pathetic 😭 /// HIM and yeah we can SEE your love for tank tops💀 - DV 💖

IT REALLY IS FJDJCKC like come on be a class act,, this is why ppl don’t like kpop fans 😭😭 WE CAN SEE THE LOVE FROM MILES AWAY GOD SOMEONE LOCK HIM UP 😭😭

iconic actually

AYO??

🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️what

also, nascar or f1?

HELLO????

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

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muffincat26 · 1 year

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I’m only doing this cause I have nothing else to do and really bored

1. I have many ideas but I guess if it’s just for staying inside then I would say maybe staying all day in pjs, baking, hot chocolate and watching movies etc but if it’s just to go out well I have many options there. I would love to go ice skating or maybe go somewhere it’s snowing and make snowman’s and have pie and warm drinks or going to a diner and just chilling there or go to Christmas events or maybe just chilling at the library/cafe and have hot chocolate.

2. Hmmm skirts , thigh high socks, tights , pants, Turtle necks. I’ve bought a bunch of scarfs recently cause I thought they were cute… I just hope I get to use them this year .. that’s if it actually gets cold cold from where I’m from

3. Cold rainy days. Or like when it’s really cold and u see fog in the morning. Sometimes I like summer and spring but that’s only when I want to feel that summer excitement of going out and going to fairs .. u know doing summer stuff and mostly cause of the clothes I want to wear.

4. Hmmmm I guess I kinda like the Gilmore girls type of vibe or like home alone. Living in a comfy house/town and having everyone there etc. or the cabin type of vibe idk something like that. Sometimes I do like the big city thing, snowy , Christmas lights everywhere, cafes, new years, hallmark vibe .

5. I always end up watching the same movies every year around Christmas time. It’s always home alone 1&2, the elf ( I know a bunch people have either a love or hate relationship with this movie but I like it .. I think it’s a cute Christmas movie . It’s definitely not funny but it’s cute), and Christmas with the kranks.

6. The small moments I guess. Cozying up in a blanket watching a movie. The food. The people that I’m with and the people that admire from afar.

7. Winter here is always cold ( by cold it’s like 50 degrees, which is nothing for people who live outside of California) and windy and sometimes rainy but it mostly rains in Jan and feb. but recently it hasn’t been that cold as it used to be .. it just makes it feel bleh.

8. Anything coffee or sweet like pastries or pumpkin pies

9. Hmmmm it’s in between , just depends on my mood

10. To be honest I haven’t been reading lately. I just haven’t found any good books. I read a few samples like “ if he had been with me” but that shit was horrible, it was the most cheesy thing ever. It was like reading a watt pad story and how the Girl keeps on mentioning how different and weird she was and how she’s not like every other girl BLEHHH. Trying to make her all quirky and different and top it off the author had to make her all beautiful looking. But this other sample that I really enjoyed and want to read the whole book is the autobiography of holly Madison the former girlfriend of Hugh Hefner and playboy star. I found it really interesting and wanted to read more about what she had to say

11. My winter bucket list was to buy people gifts this year and warp them in pretty bags and wrapping paper but I can’t ;~; . I was trying to get a job this past couple of months but nothing is working out for me.

12. Hmm I can’t really think of this right now cause I know myself. Once I find a song I’m gonna want to write a whole playlist here.

13. Chocolate chip and oatmeal cookie. Yes I know that’s a basic answer

14. Washington state, New York , Japan, maybe Germany idk

15. Never really played board games as a kid. Just only monopoly. I always wanted to play twister with a group of people. I have this whole twilight board game “collection”… hoping that one day someone can play with me.

16. It’s just me staying up late looking at vids, movies, social media, drawing etc. but sometimes I just play games on my computer.

17. Fuzzy socks and warm pjs, tea , movie , really dimmed lights and only Christmas tree on and Christmas lights and some Lofi music playing in the back ground and my cats surrounding me

18. Tea, hot chocolate and I know is weird but .. broth . I like drinking the broth from soups. like I would even drink it as a regular drink with some tapatio in it

19. Jacket, beanie, cute bag holding all your inventory stuff and boots.

20. Fideo and menudo.

Woah that was really long .

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pluviophile-imagines · 2 years

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I have recently discovered your usurper!gojo au and it is the best thing I have ever read. I can’t tell you, how in love I am. It’s the most exquisite piece of fiction I’ve ever laid eyes on. I love it. I love au’s like this and gojo being the main character was the cherry on top for me.

THE PINING. THE YEARNING. THE COURTING. THE FLOWER CROWNS. THE KISSING IN THE GARDEN. YOU’RE RIGHT. I seriously enjoyed the fact that he put the mad in madly in love. You could not be more right.

The fact that he only shows his eyes in the privacy of their bedroom or when it’s just the two of them? I swooned. I want him. I want himmmmmm. This is the man I want. Honestly if this au was real, I would fit into it so well lmao.

He’s a menace with how much he loves. How hard he loves. I love how you didn’t make him tease the reader too much when he had locked her up in his room after the coup. It was just right and then he goddamn fell to his knees and you gripped me by the throat with that. You know what truly had me hook line and sinker? The fricking eye contact he held with her as he pointed his sword at his aunt. I. DIED. MY SOUL LEFT MY BODY AND CAME BACK. IT WAS AN EARTH SHATTERING MOMENT WHERE THEY BOTH KNEW THEIR LIVES WERE ABOUT TI CHANGE. Imagine seeing his pretty eyes after so many years. Do you think they fell for each just before he was supposedly assassinated or do you think it is something that started growing a little after so when he was alone and when she was grieving. I know you’ve mentioned the teasing hair pulling but if he was “assassinated” at around 17, was he a little more mature and realised he liked her or was be still being a menace and showed his love by teasing her? OMG I JUST REALISED, HE WAS STILL A MENACE WASNT HE. ALSO DID SHE KISS HIM ON THE LIPS WHEN HE HELD THE BOOK AWAY FROM HER? I love me a childhood friends/enemies(enemies only bcs he teased her so much) to lovers.

You did an amazing job at this plot line. Honestly, this au was a major throwback for me because I used to read romance books with this sort of storyline and I love this so much. Idk how to tell you how much I enjoyed reading everything you’ve put out about usurper!gojo and his queen. Also thank you. I could see myself in it. I really it enjoyed and I’m so grateful so thank you. I know it may not always be your intention to have readers be able to fit themselves into a storyline because it is after all your story but I’m happy that I was able to imagine myself in it. Thank you.

JDNDKENF TYSM ANON!!!! Omg this was the BEST ask to wake up to you’ve made my day… I’m so excited u like it this much. And omg I’m so happy you feel like you can project onto the reader like that!!!! I’m a big fan of capable & intelligent readers and usurper!gojo’s is definitely one of my favs, I rlly adore her

(I’m putting all of this under a read-more bc the initial ask is rlly long (thank you kith kith I love u) and then I Additionally rambled for way too long rip)

I Just mentioned this in another ask but Gojo is definitely going easy on the reader bc he rlly adores her and is So worried that he’ll lose her, so esp on that first night he’s trying v hard not to push her too far when it’s Already a tense and not ideal situation LMFAO he’s v much riding this high of actually being able to see her n (as he openly states) not deal with tracking her down after she’s fled to court her so there’s still a fair bit of teasing just bc he’s So Fucking Happy but also he wants her to be as happy as he is yk

Gojo’s eyes are in a way one of his most intimidating features! It’s implied in that initial blurb but I’ll say it outright, they’re considered a feature of royalty in the worldbuilding, something his family has passed down through generations. Great leaders r said to be born with those eyes. But he’s of the opinion that if he showed them off constantly people would get used to them and they wouldn’t have the same impact—he takes off the blindfold in front of the court when he really wants people to listen to what he has to say. Doesn’t need to do it v often, he already commands plenty of respect. Plus the whole thing the reader explains, hiding his true emotions n giving him a more effective poker face.

BUT with the reader he takes it off for a number of reasons! Firstly he doesn’t rlly care abt seeing anyone else clearly but the reader? No way is he missing out. Secondly he wants her to be able to see his emotions. Thirdly in a meta sense I just adore the idea of him taking off his metaphorical armor for her. And lastly well… he knows she thinks they’re pretty and he likes her reaction LMFAO

The kiss was on the lips LMFAO even at 14 he wasn’t fully expecting her to give him what he wanted but that’s like a running theme w the pair of them, her boundaries r actually a lot more lenient than either of them think they are 😭😭😭 in Flower Crowns he says their final kiss in that fic is her first time kissing him but that’s bc he doesn’t count that book incident! He actually feels guilty abt it, looking back he thinks he was leveraging his power as the crown prince to force her to give in and he doesn’t like that. She just disagrees, and Shortcake Crumbs is from her POV so there u go. Other than that incident they kiss only one other time in their childhood and I plan to elaborate on that in the future 👁👁

Gojo and the reader were deffo in love when they were kids tho. The thing is they were also certain that they’d never be together. The reader rlly is just too low on the social hierarchy for his parents to have allowed it. So they never officially courted or considered each other for marriage and they never explicitly confessed or anything but. It Was There pfft and esp looking back both gojo and the reader know it (from both of their POVs we see this, even from the initial blurb I wrote). When they’re younger it’s less intense but that summer when they’re both 14 kinda marks when they’re becoming teens/young adults and that puppy love is becoming deeper.

ultimately, though I haven’t mentioned it in the fics, it’s also the reason reader’s parents send her off for schooling. If u recall she’s gone when his “assassination” happens; it was starting to unfold such that gojo was going to ascend to the throne when he was younger than 20 and his dying parents’ advisors basically went “if he becomes king when he’s still young and infatuated with this nobody noble then he’s gonna make her queen we can’t let that happen” so they essentially strong armed the reader’s family into sending her away in an effort to nip it in the bud. Ofc the rest of gojo’s family then decided to off his parents and him, and failed, and all of that got thrown to the wind bc he came back stronger and more reckless than before LMFAOOOO

I touch upon this a little in Flower Crowns but before the “assassination” he’s v much this spoiled brat and actually much more susceptible to giving in to what his advisors tell him to do. Then he has to rough it for a good decade learning to fight and lead and preparing to take back the throne, and he comes back with no shits to give—he’s gonna have his kingdom and he’s gonna have his queen and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop him bc he rlly is a fucking beast. And even more terrifying w the reader by his side bc she’s as capable socially/politically as he is with a sword. Real power couple shit skdnksdb

But point being there’s v much a dichotomy between his younger self and his older self—ten years is a LONG time and he’s matured a LOT. He absolutely was a menace right up until she gets sent away. He was relentless w it, and I think there were very few moments where he was sweet to her without any kind of pigtail pulling attached (yes on up until he was 17) and in fact her being around him as an adult brings some of that energy back to the surface too. She makes him feel a little like a kid again, the way he was back before it all went to shit 🥺

N e way. There u go! A lot of meta stuff for u bc this ask was so amazing to get ♥️ I hope you like it!

#ask.🌧#anon #usurper!gojo

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cozymochi · 3 years

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(Scared to be off anon but I understand that you don’t want drama in your askbox so it all good)

ANYWAYS- do you have any mini tutorials on how you draw Irkens or the Tallest? Cause holy sh*t the way you draw in the canon style makes me go 👁👁

Love your art!!💕

AAAAAA THANKSSS, And sorry this took. I dunno. Weeks to respond to, but after frequent trial and error I could not for the life of me come up with any “tutorial.” 😔 I’m kind of a failure like that. I’m not even much of a “teacher”

You can take what I have though, even if it’s pretty sloppy and unfinished 😭 And I can try explaining stuff, but this premise is really broad 😔😔 I wouldn’t know where to begin. Any canvas with a pink background is the “new” stuffI tried drawing specifically for this ask, while a white canvas is old.

Sorry that u had to go off-anon though, and sorry if this is a bit of a hot mess that isn’t very concise or helpful and primarily just… nonsense. I’m sure better “explanations” exist. Again, I’m not a teacher nor a tutorial person, really

I drew up this random image at one point in the hopes that It’d be something?? But, tbh. It probably doesn’t help. So I have no idea if this breakdown even makes a lick of sense. I just know they consist of mostly basic shapes. I meant to go in more “detail” but my brain got destroyed.

Every part of Zim’s body is a triangle in some way. Like, if u look at that image maybe u can see what i mean but 😭😭 idk.

It’s mostly just, I suppose, a matter of remembering that despite the fact these are 2D characters that are extremely stylized, they do have some kind of 3D form involved at all times. I personally keep Zim as my “rule of thumb” basis or something when drawing Irkens. Everybody is just a fucked up version of Zim. The Tallest’s heads are just Zims, but longer. Or, Skoodge [not pictured] is just Zim’s head but wider (and he is ALL head pretty much).

There was one time someone asked me advice on how I draw the Tallest, and to this day I never finished it, and with how busted my mindset became towards my own work, i probably never will.

Sorry I don’t really get into the body much, but I tried to recently (as you’ll see) and didn’t get far.

But, kinda like the Zim thing, the Tallest are also basic shapes. They’re a bit weird on having triangles and circles though. Though, I suppose it would be more accurate to call them spheres, cones, and some cylinders.

Random aside: I think folk get stuck on the joints of their arms in relation to their shoulder pads a lot… I try to keep in mind that their arm joint is always locked in a single place, yknow, like actual shoulders. The pad just moves with the arm.

Sorry the drawing is so sloppy this is where my mind fell apart.

Uhhh the Tallest are kinda weird with their long necks and craning. I kinda see where the neck connects with the body as some kind of “pivot” point. That is, if I were to be a lot stricter with that dinosaur neck. There’s a reason that neck tends to be shortened or ignored altogether.

Zim’s eyes are a bit more self-explanatory being ellipticals (not so much circles tbh, but eh). While the Tallest have parallelograms (not rectangles, their eyes don’t have any right angles- i keep that in mind too) They’re also weird since their one of the few characters whose eyes don’t stick out of their head when turned to the side. But, they do curve with their head— but not when facing forward.

Tho sometimes they do wacky shit like this so they tend to break their own “rules” anyway. I dunno. There’s really no set right/wrong means, I just keep a lot of that minor stuff in mind. I think it all would just depend on what you’d want to do

Irken mouths are weird, a lot of the “rules” that used to exist like more strict geometric stuff doesn’t exist anymore due to art evolution. But, again, I really think it just… depends…?

Have no teeth, stretch the face, put the teeth at the bottom/top, don’t leave the face, break open the face, etc etc depends on what u want.

Anything I do at this point just came from watching too many clips or sometimes digging around the comics.

i used up the image limit but there’s no other drawings anyway 😭

the end?

This isn’t all that helpful or satisfying I’m really sorry, I really don’t know how to explain this at all at the moment. Sometimes I do, but maybe I don’t. I also didn’t wanna leave this in my inbox any longer.

Maybe just study reference sheets, or if u can get ur hands on any notes from the art book- reading those might be useful. Sure, they’re outdated, but i dunno they sometimes have useful notes involved

thanks tho for asking anyway, normally i do like answering this sort of thing but I really did just fall apart at some point and messed it all up

#cozy ask #this is a terrible response sorry

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herorps · 3 years

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Hey flo do you have a guide to naming Chinese characters?? So I can be ethnically correct !

i apologize for how late this is. i’ve had a very busy work day and i’m only now getting some downtime to sit down and answer this the way i want to answer this. i want to start off by saying that i am chinese-american and that what i say and how i name my chinese characters is based on my personal experiences in my community growing up and what i’ve gathered through long-sought out research and diaspora twitter.

i also want to say that of course your ethnically chinese character can have an western name, it’s very common that we do, especially in modern times and in immigrant spaces, however i think we should be able to normalize using ethnic names. also unless you are adopted ( see: leah lewis ), in my experience you 100% have a chinese name on top of having a ‘western’ name, so if you want to give your character a western name it’d be accurate to give them a chinese name as well ( see: natasha liu bordizzo/liu chengyu ).

if you find this guide helpful, please like and reblog the post, validate me and if you have any questions/corrections/add ons please let me know!

i would have you start off by reading this really helpful guide. it’s a little long winded and you don’t have to read all of it but they do a great job with describing the different romanizations of names and how they’re different across different dialects/regions. you need to first decide what context your character exists in, whether they’re from beijing or taipei or hong kong, their full name is going to be spelled differently based on what background you want to give them.

my mother’s surname is actually a great example of this. her surname is 湯 which in mandarin chinese is pronounced “tang” but because my mother’s family is originally taishanese, her last name is romanized “hong” everywhere that uses an english spelling. alternatively, if my mother’s family changed their romanization when they moved to hong kong, where they speak cantonese, her last name would have been romanized as “tong”.

another example of this is chou tzuyu. because she from taiwan, the romanization of her name is chou tzu yu but if her family was from, like, shanghai her name would be romanized zhou zi yu. same chinese characters ( 周子瑜 ), but because they are pronounced differently across different languages and because she is taiwanese, the romanizations are different.

so after you’ve decided what romanization you want to give them, the next step is to actually choose a name. i personally begin with the given name with all of my characters because i like attaching a meaning to the given name over the surname. and also surnames are pretty easy to find/figure out.

here is a guide that discusses a little bit about naming conventions in china, particularly about gendered names. i really like what tangelotime had to say about the fact that gender doesn’t really matter when it comes to naming because, in my opinion and experience, it doesn’t. i would say that what would be “gendered” is possibly the way a name sounds. idk how to explain this but there are some names that sound “girly” but more in the sense that it’s like girly vs. butch. and i can’t think of a good example of this so you’re just gonna have to ... idk go with your gut. but for the most part, chinese names are gender neutral.

what tangelotime also said about how giving a chinese name is intense is absolutely true because there are so many things that parents may consider including chinese zodiac and fengshui and radicals in a certain character and what it means---it’s a sport that i do not have the effort for nor the intelligence to properly explain. however, i think the guides that i’ve linked so far do a good job in explaining that in a way that i cannot. here is another extensive guide, but this one discusses historical contexts ( for all u historical rpers heh ) and more importantly imo, the list of themes that a parent might take in creating a name.

8/6/21 edit: i came across these pictographs of characters from mdzs that analyze the etymology by the radical that gives you a lot of insight to possible name meanings and to the written chinese language.

additionally, here is a video by avenue x, an amazing creator on youtube who reviews c dramas and gives a lot of in depth cultural context for some of the shows she watches, that explains the names of characters from word of honor and gives the poetry references that the writers may have used.

so if you’ve taken a look all the guides i’ve given you, good on you, i really appreciate you putting in all the work. now let me give you some examples of how different things may be taken into consideration when giving a chinese name.

my given name is 安儀, romanized “on yee” because my family speaks cantonese. the first character means “safe” while the second character means “appearance,” so together my name means “safe appearance”. but, my mom also took into consideration the radicals of the characters as well. the first character looks like it has a hat or a roof on it right? that is intentional. the character underneath the hat is the character/radical for girl, so my mom wanted to make sure that her daughter had something over her that would protect her. hence why she chose the character 安. the second character in my given name consists of primarily two other words/radicals, 亻+ 義. the first radical is a variation of ⼈, the chinese word for “person,” and the second radical can roughly translate to “righteous” which means when put together, 儀 can mean “righteous person.” however 儀 can also come to mean “the appearance of a righteous person” if you consider all of the meanings i’ve given so far. my parents thought heavily about what my name means, not only on a translation level but also on a structural level.

if you’re writing a family with multiple children, consider having a generational name. in short, generational names usually have a shared character among a single generation of family members. both of my parents and their siblings are named in this manner. my mom and her siblings all have the 華 ( wah ) character in their names. my dad and his brother have the 少 ( siu ) character and his sisters have the 美 ( mei ) character in their names. my grandparents ( both sets ) thought to give their kids a generational link in their names.

now let’s look at jackson wang’s given name, 嘉尔, which he explained was homophonic in meaning. this is a tangent but chinese people love homophones and it’s why we don’t trust the number 4 but love the number 8. his given name, romanized “gaa yee”/”jia er” is essentially a homophone for “plus 2″. he said ( in a video that i cannot find anymore ) that his grandfather named him because he wanted the meaning to be “a king with two guards to protect him”. jackson’s last name 王 (wong/wang) means “king” so “king” “plus 2″ is the intention his grandfather had in naming him.

but if you’re really not versed in things like fengshui or poetry or you don’t have someone with chinese literacy available to you, the next best thing is to honestly ... take a look at media. whether that’s celebrities or film/tv/book characters ( written by actual chinese people pls ) and see what their names are ( or at least the romanizations are ). this will help you figure out what sounds appropriate and what sounds like you’re just mashing sounds together ( see: cho chang is she korean... is she chinese?? who the fuck knows ). and then finding characters that give off a meaning ( like my name meaning “safe appearance” ) is just fine imo.

and honestly sometimes giving a name doesn’t have to be so deep. like fan bingbing’s name literally translates to “ice ice” and i don’t even know what her brother, chengcheng’s name is supposed to mean, i think their parents just think having the duplicated character is fun and cute. so don’t stress yourself out.

also a lot of what i’ve gone over has pertained to the common 3-character name ( 1 character surname, 2 character given name ) but you can also consider a 2 character name ( 1 character surname, 1 character given name ) ( see: xiao zhan ) or even a 2 character surname ( see: ouyang nana ).

so finally, to get you started, here is a short list of characters and their romanizations that you can take a look at.

thank you so much for bearing with me, i know this is a lot of information to take in but it is great that you are seeking this information out in the first place. i also know that this may seem very daunting, and even for me it’s daunting sometimes, but if you have any more questions, please let me know and if you have anything you’d like to add, please let me know.

#writing guide #writing help #naming guide #character resource #naming resource #writing resource #rph #rpc #rpha #rpcw #rpt #mine #Anonymous

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curryaboo · 3 years

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— hiii! i was tagged by @banglatown @bengayli @jentlemahae @chameli aaand @/minteas to do this “get to know me better/20 questions” tag!! thank u so much beauts!! <3<3<3<3<3

🪁 what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

rao is absolutely fine!! <33

🪁 when is your birthday?

oct 13 :) i share it with some,, prominent people in popular culture and politics which aren’t rlly MY personal faves but wtvr it just goes to prove i’m the superior oct 13 baby !

🪁 where do you live?

the uk :<

🪁 three things you’re doing right now?

answering these questions, sorting out some spotify playlists in between answering these questions & casting my eyes between lines of james acaster’s classic scrapes and my phone (sunny @/amarakaran mentioned the book on one of her tag games n very kindly gave me the link to it and i jumped str8 to reading it! u know you’ve watched too many things featuring james acaster when u now read his book in his exact voice :/)

🪁 four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?

bbc ghosts (ppl have some amazing theories n opinions surrounding it but i would not advise looking up the tag on here and sorting thru recent god bless youse but there are some awful takes there) aaand idk ig a range of kpop groups but i don’t rlly participate in the fandom sides of things anymore (and i’m not consuming a lot of new media or at least keeping up to date with the media that i do to label myself as being interested in being part of the fandom)

🪁 how is the pandemic treating you?

icl now that i’m seeing it in retrospect, it’s been cruel in the sense that it’s taken a lot of important things away from me (my last two years of high school for example i’m rlly bummed abt that) & stunted me in some ways but regardless i’ve learnt a lot about myself and my friends & family and yeah i’ve learnt to cherish myself and my loved ones all the same :)

🪁 song you can’t stop listening to right now?

boy am i glad this question is here bc since yesterday ? maybe i’ve been listening to gal mitthi mitthi endlesslyyy i think my brain chemicals recognise that we haven’t been to a wedding for the past 2 summers so it tries to fill the void by fixating on this one wedding-y song 💔💔

🪁 recommend a movie

PLS if u haven’t already , pls watch assassination nation bc i need someone to begrudgingly revel with in the absolute shit show pisstake of a movie that this is . (as a side note: my soul will not know peace until kennie jd does a video on it) on a more serious side, english vinglish is one of my most favourite films 10000/10 recommend pls go see it if u haven’t it’s an absolute warm hug of a movie <3

🪁 how old are you?

18 :)

🪁 school, university, occupation, other?

gap year babieee my soul is just wondering the place rn

🪁 do you prefer hot or cold?

cold !!

🪁 name one fact others may not know about you.

uhmm i lived in bangladesh for about 9-10 months when i was abt 4 and it was so amazing i miss it very much :’]

🪁 are you shy?

yes quite shy :} but i will always put effort into getting to know someone or initiating a convo !!

🪁 do you have any preferred pronouns?

i was in turmoil over them rlly but she/they is what i’m comfy with rn ! :D

🪁 any pet peeves?

other than some obvious ones, when ppl open things like crisps packets upside down,, that disgusts me truly

🪁 what’s your favourite “dere” type?

i would be a liar if i said i wasn’t biased towards a good bakadere but not too much that it annoys me lmao

🪁 rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best you could ever be.

hmm rn it’s maybe a 5?? i’m grateful for so many things but there is def a lot of room for improvement :] (actually i just got on a 3 month free trial for spotify today so that just bumped the 5 up to a 6 😌)

🪁 what’s your main blog?

this one right here jaanoo.tumblr.com !!

🪁 list your side blogs and what they’re used for.

i don’t have any but i’ve been thinking of making one for aesthetics or like future references ??

🪁 is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you?

uhmm again i am quite shy teehee™️ imo there’s a noticeable difference between when we were yk just friendly towards each other vs when we actually become friends and i’m more comfortable with u . that’s not to say that i was being fake in the earlier instances of u knowing me, i was just a lot more reserved :) i’m also one of those *is online 24/7 but gets virtual interaction burnout every 2 hours so postpones replying to ur message to 3 days later* which sucks skfjdsj but yeah if there was anything that i’d need to know about YOU it’d be if u had any dietary requirements bc i love baking for my friends <333

ok now i’m gonna embarrass myself more than i already have & tag a lot of ppl bc i’m super nosey like that and want to know my mutuals’ answers to these 🥸 ofc u can absolutely ignore this and not want to do it we’re not under any contractual binding here <33 @allenoraaa @okhag @watermlon @gayanese @letteredwingsmain @theropoda @holyself @txtzy @creatures2010 @junqhwans @mistblush @snsdyuri @waterz @derelicthousefootage @killuaology @staycverse @amarakaran @tendermachines @shahrukh-khan @peachysara @firesigns @postmoderncaricatures @horrormanga @iqraars @123dream @sunmisbf @avisachi @bengaligirlfriend @morksuns @czennie-on-top @markvibes @joppin @nyuly @shin-jiyoon @99lover @mithaai @chamelis @thefinalgirlz @nikolailantsovswifey @mehendi @yerification @oneustual @singinginthecar @yejiswife @lovedsoup @mangopickled and uhh tumblr’s not letting me annoy tag anymore ppl so if u wanna do this and ur not on the list (ur in my heart 💕 and in an ideal world where tumblr automatically tags all my mutuals 😑) u can say i tagged u if you’d like!! ^_^

#scrolling thru my silly little followers list to tag ppl in my silly little tag game <3 #also ru mangopickled u saved my life with the little mobile readmore thing tysm <3<3<3 #🌙

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 3 years

Text

Remember, Don't You Miss Us?

Prompt: hey, if you're taking requests for Sanders sides, can I request some angsty human au! familial sides? patton/janus as parents that get/have gotten divorced and (some of) the others move between houses or smth?? idk do what you want as long as its angsty with a happy ending

Thanks for the prompt, babe!

Read on Ao3

Warnings: divorced moceit at the start, they fix it, other than that you good

Pairings: parental moceit, errybody else is the kids

Word Count: 3738

The void never used to be as obvious.

Patton and Janus got divorced, their children split between the two houses. They manage to keep up appearances, but the emptiness never really goes away.

The kids decide to do something about it.

The void never used to be as obvious.

There were times when Patton would come downstairs, expecting to see at least someone else awake, perhaps Logan in the corner chair, curled around a mug of coffee and staring out the window, perhaps Roman at the table with his notebook out and his pen flying, or perhaps Virgil, just rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he tried to figure out what to do next. Remus wasn’t an early riser, but perhaps—on very rare occasions—there he would be, sprawled across the floor, playing with his toys.

But now there’s no one to make the coffee for Logan, no one to encourage Roman to write down his ideas, no one to chuckle softly at bleary little Virgil. No one to halfheartedly scold Remus for leaving his toys all over the floor.

Patton still goes to the coffee pot and turns it on, even if there are buttons on the top he doesn’t dare to touch. Logan asked him once why he refuses to change the settings, even if he doesn’t like the kind of coffee it makes. His hands had shaken too much to answer.

He still goes through all the motions of making breakfast, even if the sudden tug in his chest at the worry they won’t have enough eggs goes limp as he realizes there are only three of them in the house now. Roman asked him once why he was staring at the carton of eggs lying there on the counter. He’d shaken his head and said he was counting.

He still hesitates at the door too long when it’s time to take his kiddos to school, expecting a green blur to tug a blob of purple down the stairs so fast he worries they’re going to hurt themselves. Both Roman and Logan look at him confused when he wants to wait a little longer before taking them out to the car.

But mostly…

Mostly he misses the flash of yellow in the corner of his eye. He could never quite pull off the color, something about the way his undertones refused to cooperate or…something like that. His own wardrobe looks…smaller now, simpler. He never used to blend into the walls this much.

Mostly he misses the low voice coming from the other room, up the stairs, just over his shoulder. His own voice is too high, too bubbly to be properly sarcastic and the absence of that voice twisting words around and around and around. Or when it would soften, and oh how much he could drown in the softness.

Mostly he misses the gloved hands on his shoulder, the small of his back, around his waist, on his hips, cupping the nape of his neck. Patton hugs his kiddos all the time, but there was something about the drag of gloves against his clothes that made him tighten his hugs.

Mostly he misses waking up to someone else warm on cold nights.

The bed feels so much bigger.

No.

No, don’t go down that road, it only leads to crying and Roman and Logan trying frantically to fix it.

They couldn’t.

It wasn’t their fault, they’re kids. They didn’t deserve to have to fix these things, these were an adult’s responsibility, these were problems they wouldn’t know how to solve. It wasn’t their fault that Patton never learned when to stop pushing. It wasn’t their fault that Patton could never figure out where the lines were drawn. It wasn’t their fault that Patton could never stop crying, making it all about himself, never wanting to listen.

Patton scrubs a hand under his nose before it can start to drip.

No. No, it wasn’t their fault, it was—it is his.

It’s his fault they can’t see their brothers anymore, not like they used to.

It’s his fault their Papa went away.

It’s his fault that he couldn’t figure out how to love Janus.

But goodness, does he miss him.

———————————————

The room’s never felt this small before.

There were times when Janus would open the door and expect someone, anyone, to barrel into him before he could step over the threshold and words would tumble out, perhaps a new idea Remus had, perhaps something Virgil was worried about, perhaps Logan with a slew of new questions for him, or perhaps—if he was coming home on a night that Roman didn’t have an after-school club—it would be Roman, wrapping his arms tightly around Janus and refusing to let him go.

But now there’s no one to keep Remus supplied with new sketchbook paper, no one to sit quietly and talk through Virgil’s fears with him, no one to go on Wikipedia odysseys with Logan, and no one to beam at Roman.

Janus still walks to the bookshelf and runs his hand along the spine of the books, searching, searching for something to read that he hasn’t read in a while, and unbidden his mind will go directly to what puns he could make from the titles. Remus had looked up at him once as a chuckle forced its way out through his lips and asked him what was so funny. Janus had shaken his head and said something had just crossed his mind.

He still walks into a room and instinctively picks up a pen to toss into the corner, expecting a soft ‘thank you’ or an ‘ow!’ from the chair or the couch or the desk. Virgil had stared at him one time when he’d walked into the room and without thinking, grabbed a pen from the pen pot and chucked it across the room, eyes wide, wondering what was happening. Janus had dropped to the ground and done his very best to comfort the poor dear, saying that no, he wasn’t angry, he did that from a habit, it’s alright, it’s alright…

He still has the urge to buy another beanbag chair, even though the one they have right now fits the three of them perfectly, unable to get the worry of making the twins share for longer than absolutely necessary out of his head. Virgil and Remus had shrugged and said they’d be fine with having their own beanbag chairs, but they look too small all alone in the sea of fabric and small plastic balls. He’d shaken his head and said he prefers seeing them all together.

But mostly…

Mostly he misses the bright, bubbly laughter that would fill the house to bursting, drawing a smile to his lips at how unabashedly happy it was. The siren song would lure him from every corner of the house, even if he were knee-deep in work, just to see what made its owner so deliriously happy.

Mostly he misses the easy words, the sweet nothings, the effortless comfort. He’s a little too rough, too guarded, too intimidating to sound as gentle and kind and reassuring, he can’t be the softer kind of support that his sweeties need sometimes. That loss, the fumbling of his tongue, always makes those sobs sound so much louder.

Mostly he misses the shameless questions. How is he doing today, what can we do to help, you know we love you, right? Such selfless care, emanating from everywhere, unconditional support, that promise, he doesn’t know how anyone could do that. For someone for whom love still fit clumsily on his tongue, he was in danger of dying of thirst after years of feeling like he could drown in it.

Mostly he misses turning around and not seeing an empty space next to him.

Don’t start.

Not again.

You don’t deserve to miss something when you threw it away without caring.

This road only leads to silences, silences Remus tries to fill by being too big, too loud, too much, silences Virgil detests and hides away, waits out, curling around his security stuffie until feels it’s safe to come out again.

It won’t be.

It’s not their fault, they’re kids. They shouldn’t be trained to read every single emotional cue to make sure their worlds won’t be upended again, they shouldn’t have to try and take of their parent, they shouldn’t be worrying about what’s going on with a problem they can’t fix. It isn’t their fault that Janus never learned how to let himself be vulnerable. It isn’t their fault that he never learned how to bite back some of his harsher remarks. It isn’t their fault that Janus could never stop trying to defend himself from someone who would never hurt him, never wanting to listen.

Janus takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

It’s his fault. Of course, it’s his fault.

It’s his fault Remus still looks around for his twin in the mornings.

It’s his fault that the brothers will grow up divided.

It’s his fault that Dad lives separately from them now.

But damn, he misses Patton so much.

———————————————

Logan: So we’re in agreement, this happens this Friday.

emo-nightmare: no need for all the grammar there L

Princey: Yes! This Friday™! It will be glorious and victorious!

living nightmare: we all will shout uproarious?

emo-nightmare: cause life is so euphorious

Logan: That’s not a word, Virgil.

emo-nightmare: if you wanna write to disney and tell em theyre using made up words i can think of better places for u to start

Princey: no virge don’t he’ll actually do it

Logan: Putting that aside, we agree that we’re doing this this Friday, yes?

Princey: Yep. Dad thinks we’re gonna go to the park to hang out after school and he’s meeting us there.

emo-nightmare: papa’s got a photoshoot with that new brand and rem and i suggested the park at 530

living nightmare: I got the fake blood and mannequin heads

Princey: REMSU WHAT THE FUKC

emo-nightmare: wow how is L letting yo make that many typos

Princey: fuck off V

living nightmare: how is Dad letting you get away with swearing that much

Princey: I am disowning you

living nightmare: on what grounds?

Princey: on the grounds that your a douchebag and you swear every two words

emo-nightmare: *you’re are u proud of me L

Logan: Had you not used the ‘u’, I would be

emo-nightmare: smh when will I be enough

Princey: you don’t need to be enough for us to love u now NO MORE SAD TALK IT IS OPERATION GET OUR DADS TO PULL THEIR HEADS OUTTA THEIR ASSES TIME

Logan: Everything is a go?

Princey: Sure is!

emo-nightmare: Roger

living nightmare: so I shouldn’t bring the mannequin heads?

Logan: No.

Princey: NO

emo-nightmare: guess not

living nightmare: :(

———————————————

In the end, it’s surprisingly easy for their kids to do things without them noticing.

Patton doesn’t Roman sneaking a camera into his backpack on the way to school, or the way he nods at Logan as they spilt up upon reaching the gates. He’s too preoccupied with scanning the parking lot, seeing if maybe, just maybe, there’s another familiar car here that he shouldn’t be caught looking at.

He doesn’t notice the way Logan texts him to remind him that they’ll be meeting at the park, across the street from the library, at 5:30 pm sharp, next to the fountain, and says that Patton will be there, not him. He’s too busy remember the last time he was at that fountain.

Janus doesn’t notice the way Remus pouts one more time at Virgil as they get ready to go, sighing and rolling his eyes about how boring the others are getting. He’s too focused on how he still expects to see a different person in the passenger seat as he drops them off a block away from the school.

He doesn’t notice the way Virgil doesn’t ask him to remember that they’re meeting after school in the park so he can help with taking the photos, but tells him, in no uncertain terms, that Janus better be in the park by the fountain at 5:30. He’s…busy remembering why he agreed to have the photoshoot by the fountain in the first place.

“Wait, why don’t you want to do the partner photoshoot?”

Janus sighs, leaning back against the fountain. “Because it has me fake being a couple.”

Patton’s mouth opens and closes and Janus sighs. Patton looks at the ground.

“I don’t believe that kind of bond can be just an arrangement,” he says after a moment, “as if it were a…contract or something. For something that they want but not—not like that.”

The fountain burbles quietly. Janus tips his head back to look at the stars.

“And what do you want?”

Patton turns, straightening as the frustration in his voice drifts away. “What do I want?”

Janus nods.

“What a good question,” he murmurs, looking at him, “what I want…is for you to come closer.”

Janus blinks in shock, his brow furrows just the slightest bit. Patton smiles and beckons.

“Yes,” he encourages when he takes a tentative step, “come closer.”

He stands to his full height as he stops in front of him, still searching his face for a clue as to what is going on. He doesn’t hold his gaze, instead looking at him with such awe that the sweet thing flushes. His hands come up slowly, hovering above his shoulders before carefully, carefully taking hold of his arms.

“This,” he breathes, “is what I want,” he says as his fingers toy with the roughness of his jacket, “this is what I want, what I have always wanted.”

Oh.

Janus’s breath catches in his throat but Patton doesn’t stop.

“To have you here in my arms and to know—“ his gaze flashes up to catch Janus’s— “that you feel at home here.”

As his eyes go wide, Patton takes them a step away from the fountain. His gaze searches his face desperately.

“Tell me,” he asks, “do you still feel comfortable here? With me? Is it still home for you?”

It’s too much. The way his gaze threatens to tear his heart from his chest, his words pluck his walls apart, brick by brick, it’s too much. He can be the friend, he can’t—he can’t see Patton like this.

“Please…please…don't turn away from me—look at me.” A hand catches his chin, guiding him back. “Look in my eyes.”

I can’t, he wants to say, it’ll hurt when I have to look away.

“Are you scared?” His face falls. “By what? I won’t hurt you, I’d never hurt you, unless…”

He swallows, and something flickers behind his eyes.

“…you want to go?”

“It’s not that,” he manages, closing his eyes as he shakes his head, “I promise it’s not that.”

“If not, then what?”

“The others—I can’t—“

He doesn’t let him finish, swiftly cutting him off with a shake of his head. “No. No one can tell you that you can’t be here with me. I want you here, as long as you want to be here.”

I can stay? he asks with the furrow between his brows.

You can stay, he replies with the appearance of a smile.

“I know what I want, Janus.” Patton takes the smallest step closer. “Always have. And there was a time when…when you wanted that too.”

Janus chuckles. “You sound ridiculous.”

Patton laughs too. “Maybe. Maybe not. But I’m happy to be ridiculous if it lets me…”

He trails off and Janus frowns.

“…lets you what?”

“Be yours,” he murmurs as Janus’s heart pounds, “and to hear you be called mine.”

His face contorts as he traces the curve of his cheek again. He follows the trail of warmth, pushing into it with the hesitant desperation of a single trickle of water, halted by a dam in the river.

“You’re still here,” comes the quiet observation, “so clearly you're not afraid…are you?”

“…I don’t know anymore.”

“Then if you didn't trust me…” He swallows. “Then I’d ask you to—to go. Because I don’t want you to be here if you don’t want to be.”

The thought of leaving sends a spike through his ribs, punching a breath out of his lungs. He presses into his hand as much as he dares.

“…but if you do trust me,” he whispers, the fountain still humming behind them, “if you are truly not afraid of my touch as you've shown…close your eyes.”

“What?”

“Close them,” he repeats, “…please.”

He does as bid, all but thrumming in his hands. The hand on his cheek trembles for barely a moment, as if its owner is suddenly overcome by the realization that they’re here, before he feels a warmth next to his face and a puff of breath that isn’t his own.

“W-wait!”

The air freezes.

His eyes fly open as he struggles to process what just happened.

Patton. Patton. His Patton. He—he loves him. He invited him here tonight because he loves him. He wants to spend time with him because he loves him.

Gods above, he loves him.

He—gods, he just tried to kiss him because he loves him.

He just tried to kiss him.

And he—

—oh, gods, he told him to wait.

“Patton—“ he tries to find him but it’s too late.

The second he meets his eyes, he’s met with a tidal wave of anguish, slammed quickly behind iron doors that fail to banish the hurt from his expression. It breaks his heart.

“I understand,” he says lowly, going to move away, “I understand—“

“No—please, listen to me, I—“

“You don’t have to say anything,” he says smoothly, his hand already leaving his face, “I understand. That was an abuse of power, it was not my intention to—“

“I didn’t mean it like that, I don’t want you to think that I—“

“The last thing I want is to pressure you into something you don’t want.”

“You don’t know I don’t want it!”

“I do!” His gaze flares sharply with anger, with hurt, seas of pain buried behind smiles and guarded expressions. He takes a deep breath and tries to force it away. “You told me to wait. And, forgive me, but I won’t wait to have my heart be broken all over again.”

“I’m not trying to break your heart—“ he scrabbles frantically for him— “please, just listen—“

“You don’t need to explain yourself, you never have, I understand that you don’t want me like that.” He lets him grab onto him but does not stop turning away. “But if you could give me a moment to collect myself, I—“

“I don’t know how to kiss!”

He freezes. “…what?”

His cheeks burn with the weight of his embarrassment and his unshed tears. “I don’t know how to kiss,” he repeats at a much more reasonable volume. He twists his hands in front of him. “I…you…I’m sorry, fuck, I’m making a mess of this.”

He buries his head in his hands, willing the tears to stay behind his eyes. As he looks up, he knows he’s going to fail as he spots the red-rimmed eyes staring back at him.

“Don’t ever,” he starts, voice wobbling a little, “don’t you ever believe that I don’t love you.”

His breath leaves him in a rush.

“Of course I love you,” he continues, growing stronger when he lets out a whimper and reaches for him, “of course I love you.”

“Then why—“ he grasps his shoulders, tighter than before, “why did you ask me to wait?”

The fountain bubbles and burbles, the soft smell of their drinks mixing with the sweet smell of the water. It’s warm here, in each other’s arms. It feels like home.

“I’ve never kissed anyone,” he confesses softly, “not like…not like that. It scares me.”

Patton shifts, not enough to hurt, just enough to hold Janus closer.

“I don’t know how to speak it.” His eyes fall closed, breathing in the warm smell of safe. “I don’t know what to do with it. And I—“

Patton gives his sides a gentle squeeze.

“…I am terrified of what normally comes after.”

“You don’t have to be,” comes the immediate reassurance, “not here, not with me. I won’t force you to do anything you’re not ready for. I will never ask anything of you that you wouldn’t give. Not until you want to.”

“…and what if I never want to?”

Janus feels his soft smile as he rests his chin on top of his head. “Then we won’t.”

“No?”

“No.” His forehead comes to rest against Janus’s once more. “But kissing doesn’t have to lead to that. It can just be a kiss.”

“It can?”

“Of course.” There’s a pause. “As that is the case…”

His eyes open. Is he…

“…are you asking?”

Patton pulls back just far enough to look him in the eyes.

“May I teach you how to kiss, my love?”

Janus’s breath leaves him in a rush. “Yes.”

They would say that it took a lot of work. And it did; getting back to a place where they could trust each other again, to live together again, was a slow progression. Over a year, at least, but there they were, working together against the problem, not each other.

But really, really it…

Well, Janus turned around, expecting to see Virgil, and saw Patton instead, blinking in confusion.

Patton mumbled something about Roman and Logan saying he should be here, a small smile growing when Janus says that Virgil and Remus did the same.

“…our kids, huh?”

“Our kids.”

Patton cautiously broached the topic of whether he remembered the fountain. Janus had smiled and said that how could he forget?

“…anything else you remember?”

And, well, maybe there was something to be said about the movies that Roman loved so much and everyone else pretended they didn’t.

Because as Janus wraps his hand around Patton’s hoodie and pulls him in, they could swear they could hear cheering and whooping all around them.

In fairness to the kids, they had an excellent reason for why they shouldn’t be grounded for lying about their after-school plans.

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#sanders sides #fic #dragonbabbles #virgil sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #roman sanders #creativitwins #logan sanders

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girlgrouptrash101 · 3 years

Text

Cooking with Loona

Request: "i know requests are closed and i’m reallyyy sorryyyy 🥺 i’ve been going through a lot and i just didn’t have time and didn’t feel right enough to ask this: maybe cooking with loona??"

A/N: to the anonnie that requested this, i hope you're feeling better and ily ❤️❤️

(had to put a keep reading tab cuz the post was too damn long f)

- C

Heejin:

we’ve all seen the cement brownie she tried to give to chuu on her birthday vlive..... yeah....

she always skips like half the steps when she’s following recipes and then gets confused when her food doesn’t turn out the same like,, Heejins sweetie pleASE-

lowkey can’t cook but she thinks she can because you hype her up too much

like she will serve you a dish that will somehow be both burnt and cold at the same time and you still tell her she did amazing because it makes her so happy and that’s all that matters

your guys’ favourite thing to make together is probably cupcakes or cakes

because you get to bake them and Heejin gets to decorate them, and they always end up looking and tasting immaculate

everything in your guys’ relationship works better when you’re together, you two simply complete each other :’)

Hyunjin:

not only does she make the most kickass bread but girlie really is a chef of all cuisines too

you still don’t know how or where she even learned to cook so well but you aren’t complaining at all

whatever you feel like eating, Hyunjin knows how to cook it to absolute perfection and she always offers to teach you how to make your favourite dishes

you two also have matching yellow cat aprons uwu

the kind of girl to either kick you out of her kitchen for distracting her while she’s making a meal or else back hug you and help you stir a bowl with her hand over yours all romantically

it literally just depends what mood she’s in at that very moment

highkey loves loves loves cooking for you and surprising you with dinner after a long day, because her favourite thing to do is put a smile on your face :D

Haseul:

starts off really strong and sticks to the recipe... but then her mind wanders and she's like,,, well,,, what if i add this????

and you're like haseul,,,, please don't put chilli peppers in Kim lips birthday cake, i promise she can do without them,,,,,

she finds cooking in the dorms a bit stressful, doing her best to feed the hungry members after a long day of practice

so cooking with you tends to be a much more therapeutic experience, just you two, a bit of music and some tasty treats

but she of course brings back plenty of wonderful bakes for her members to enjoy too, they're literally her babies she is can't just let them STARVE 😔🙄😢

lowkey pretends she's having trouble stirring so you'll reach from the back and help her with the spoon all romantically

miss haseul you are not slick we SEE YOU

Yeojin:

yes she did in fact bejewel her cookery book

"yeojin... I can't even read the recipes, there's too much glitter!!"

"Well Y/N, sometimes, sacrifices have to be made in the name of beauty."

said sacrifices are usually cupcakes and cakes that don't rise, burnt food or just complete mush that doesn't even look like food

however, when yeojin is fully dedicated she can pack a mean lunch, sometimes she makes them for you when you're going off to school/work, and she always makes sure presentation is A+

prefers to just go out to cafes/restaurants on dates rather than cook

but that doesn't mean there haven't been times where you and her have been in the kitchen at 2am, trying to make a gigantic cake for you and all her members to share 😌

Vivi:

has the most peaceful, lofi cooking playlist ever

you two work in harmony, always helping one another but never tripping over the other in the kitchen

it's so harmonious it's like.... y'all were meant to be or sumn idk 😳😳😳

however if u try to eat any batter she will smack ur hand and be like no ⛔ that is for LATER hfhdhd

her hair always gets tied up in the cutest little bun when she's baking, and that along with her fairy apron makes her look like an actual princess

she also LOVES cooking/teaching you how to make her favourite foods from Hong Kong that she'd always make with her mom

those meals always help her when she's homesick, and with you by her side make her feel like she's not alone 🥺

Kim Lip:

CEO of pretending she has everything under control when in reality she has absolutely no idea what’s going on

“Uhhh Jungeun, is something burning?” “NOPE NOPE IDK WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT HA HA HA........”

wants to put your apron on you every time but she’s always way too shy to ask so she just resorts to back-hugging you until you get the hint and let her tie a cute little bow behind your back with the apron string hehe

makes pretty decent food when she’s not flailing around and panicking over a single grain of rice that escaped from the pot or something

however she refuses to admit when she messes up in the kitchen

like she could burn something to a crisp or use completely the wrong ingredients but she’d still eat every bite just to prove she’s the best cook in the house

if your food sucks she will tell you to your face, followed by a kiss so you forget about the fact she just roasted your cooking skills lol

Jinsoul:

Jinsoul gives off Hawaiian shirt drunk uncle at the family barbecue vibes who won't let anyone near the steaks

and you're like,, Jinsoul do you even know what you're doing????????? to which she responds - "food, heat, it's cooking. isn't that all i need to know?"

chaotic but refuses to acknowledge the chaos she causes in the kitchen

so when you have baking dates u have to keep such a close eye on her to make sure she isn't going to poison anyone with her creations

once she gets into it tho, she's grooving around the kitchen in her little robot apron, dancing to Christmas songs when it's not even Christmas and just 10/10 having a blast

not really the biggest fan of cooking but she knows you are, and since you help her build her gundams she does like to try and help our properly in the kitchen when she can

perhaps Jinsoul best girl???? perhaps??????

Choerry:

hello this sunshine absolutely LOVES baking, especially for others because putting a smile on someone's face is her main goal in life

she loves decorating with icing too, her go to patterns are smiley faces, flowers and the sun!

her playlists are always so upbeat, the two of you end up bouncing around the kitchen singing at the top of your lungs as you work

LOVES LOVES LOOOOOVES backhugs, especially recieving them,,, it makes her feel all worm and mushy inside hehe

also likes to kiss face icing off of your face, just to have an excuse to give you as many little pecks as she so desires

choerry always makes you a birthday cake every year, and she puts so much work into it, it absolutely melts your heart

plus it makes her happy to see you eating well and having a good time, she truly just is the biggest sweetheart :']

Yves:

she always says yes whenever you ask her to cook with you, but only because she just wants to flirt with you for an hour

"why do we need to make all this food, when the real snack is right in front of me? 😏"

cooking with you actually really does make her happy though, she loves that she can be so domestic with you, it's such an amazing break from her hectic life

also lowkey makes her feel like you're a married couple... and you best believe Yves can't wait to wife you up

she doesn't suck at cooking, but has often times gotten,,, ahem,,,, somewhat distracted and has prioritized making out with you against the kitchen counter rather than how long the food has been cooking, which ends up in a lot of burnt meals

baking with her is really a time, and has more than once ended in a very messy food fight because Yves wouldn't stop smearing icing all over your face 💔

her specialty is dialing the local takeaway and ordering food instead ✨ okay Yves Ramsey go off ✨

Chuu:

this baby girl is just torn between actually wanting to cook or just asking you to cook with her so she can get affection from you (as if she doesn't get that anyway smh)

backhugs except she won't let go

whenever she's making something she calls you over and she's like "Y/N is this okay?" and always asks for kisses as a reward for doing good

will feed you every single ingredient no questions asked

she loves surprising you with meals on very random occasions though, for example that one time she cooked your favourite food because it was the anniversary of the first time she got sick while dating you

she's actually a pretty good cook when she puts her mind to it though, she loves making good food that'll cheer people up when they really need it

btw you will be forced to wear matching aprons and they will be the pinkest, loudest and sparkliest ones that she can get her hands on ✨

Go Won:

have the fire service on speed dial before you even think about cooking with gowon omg

you literally also need to have indestructible tastebuds because she WILL destroy them

her speciality is starting fires and combining foods that were NEVER. EVER. E V E R. meant to be combined 😭😭

"babe come try this dish!! it's ramen mixed with coca cola, jelly and vegetable soup!!! it tastes GREAT trust me"

at the end of the day you just leave her be in the kitchen because at least she's having fun LMAO

(just always have a fire hydrant by your side okay??? she set the loona dorm on fire making chicken nuggets once...)

despite all her chaos, she somehow always produces something edible at the end and.... sometimes it actually tastes good too???

Olivia Hye:

lets you do all the work cuz she's worried she "might mess it up" when in reality she just wants to order takeout and cuddle instead smhhh

will probably follow you around the kitchen or rest her head on your shoulder while you do all the cooking, because this tsundere is secretly the biggest softie for you

she's actually a decent chef when she's motivated to help though

like she even put together a cooking playlist for you guys - which she very shyly revealed to you one time, a slight blush on her cheeks as she played the songs for you

cuz miss olhye is very much a romantic, she just doesn't have the confidence to show you all that yet hehe

her favourite is making desserts because well,,,, she gets to eat the batter and also gets tasty treats at the end

10/10 cooking backhugs also 🖐️😌

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tay6119 · 3 years

Text

Beach Episode BEACH EPISODE

ALRIGHT, it is time.

Finally off work and I have my snacks and way too much energy so here’s your tales of the SMP recap even thought I’m probably the last person to watch it at this point.

I hope it’s better than the last one :,)

I’m sorry this is so so long, I couldn’t help myself...

- Just wanna start by saying Karl is a real one for putting these together and putting in so much work. Great way to include less lore affiliated people

- I LOVE THEIR SKINS THEY’RE REALLY CUTE ESPECIALLY BBH

- Sapnap’s skin went from cute to like lowkey hot

- d r e a m’s skin... at least he dressed up this time

- Gog being sad to get those pity points as usual /lh

- “we’re supposed to be having fun Dream leave me alone” “I am having fun”

- basically a manhunt, but it’s off brand

- KARL’S SKIN IS SO CUTE OMG

- “wHaT cOuLd iT PoSsIbLy mEaN” more great acting from Dream

- all of them saying woah at once was really cute to me idk why-

- Dream just wants to kill everyone, staying on brand for C!Dream

- treasure hunt treasure hunt treasure hunt

- Anti-Gogy propaganda

- Karl really thought they would all work together no questions asked

- These are always so chaotic but i love it sm, nice break from everything in regular lore

- “now that George is gone”

- “I always hate you Dream”

- “George and Dream stop fighting”

- Karl is trying so hard to continue the story but everyone is just-

- “from the top you’re going to make it drop” “why does that sound familiar” BBH PLEASE

- George and dream can’t leave each other alone oml

- “there’s a prize for people rping” “what if my character is a serial killer” DREAM PLEASE

- They all fell to their deaths trying to jump off the lighthouse and into the water

- “get maximum... air”

- GEORGE that’s a volleyball

- Ranboo just straight up being drowned out by everyone else :,)

- “Ranboo read it” KARL U READ MY MIND EVEN THO IM WATCHING THIS ACTOR THE FACT

- Ranboo getting into it and like lowkey doing a voice

- “dream we’re walking together” George sounds so whiny lmfao /lh

- SAPNAP’S PIRATE VOICE

- BAD’S PIRATE VOICE

- Manifesting a gogy pirate voice even tho it won’t happen

- Dream leaving the area halfway through bad leaving shows his speedrun genes

- Chat participation :00

- THE TWITCH PRIME PROMO

- “none, we get zero” DREAM PLEASE

- “Ranboo do you think they love you enough” “no” RANBOO HAD NO HESITATION

- “It says, Sapnap is a nimrod” GEORGE PLEASE

- ALSO GEORGE’S PIRATE VOICE LETS GOOOOO

- Ranboo coming in clutch

- “Why is Dream killing everyone” “I’m not killing everyone” yeah George, he’s just killing you

- My two favs George and Ranboo boating away together <33

- I braved chat and someone said “GO MEMORY BOY GO”

- Now every time George fake cries/goes all sad boi I can’t stop thinking about Dream saying he does it to get pity and it always works lmfao

- “log off if you’re not up for it” Dream, George, and Sapnap all leave guys dteam ship is canon now

- Bad dies in lava “don’t worry I saved the book”

- George being all giggly and not paying attention while him and Dream fight ahh I’m soft

- Dream in a boat what will he do

- Dream is muted and didn’t realize

- George yells for Dream to come back to take him with ahhhhhh

- Sapnap screaming “arggggg”

- “did he fail rp??”

- “Oh my arggg”

- “me and dream, me and dream are gonna win”

- “Dream and George forever for a hundred years” GOG I CANT TAKE IT STOP

- Chat spamming DNF omg

- “Dream woke up and chose violence”

- Dream tries to kill George and then Sapnap hits him and Dream dies instead

- “ALL MY BOATS”

- KARL COVERED THE CHEST WITH SAND

- Sapnap and Ranboo duo is something we needed

- SAPNAP AND RANBOO HAVE ME SCREAMING THEYRE EVERYTHING

- “you know saying muffinhead really throws off the pirate vibe yee got going”

- Gogy gets all hype cause he find it and makes happy noises I LOVE HIM

- George is an attention whore /lh

- George becomes scottish

- “when we get back to the mainland we kill George” surprising not Dream, but BBH

- George has less of a sense of direction than I do,,, and that’s saying a lot

- Ranboo woke up and chose violence

- Dream why u so obsessed with Gog

- Sapnap and Ranboo continue to be iconic

- Dream stop speedrunning this is rp

- Audience chooses who wins lmfaooo if Ranboo doesn’t win I’ll be so upset, him or Sapnap, but RANBOO

- “it would be really funny if I won” SHUT UP DREAM

- SAPNAP CALLED RANBOO HIS PARTNER IN CRIME LET’S GOOOO

- george and dream using console to kill each other

- DREAM SOUNDS SO WHIPPED WHEN HE SAYS “George I’ll give you one more chance”

- George mimicking Dream ujhytgrfed

- THEY REALLY STOLE THE THING AS SOON AS KARL LEFT

- CORINNA GIFTED SUBS BRUH

- Dream you don’t have the right to be calling anyone a simp

- “how many subs for a whitelist” RANBOO PLEASE

- “you cannot stab my partner with yee fist”

- “I am duck beard”

- RANBOO WON WITH 73% LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO

- “piggy mcpiggy foot” GEORGE PLEASE

- “everybody’s less violent now” yeah ok

- KARLNAP KISS

- RANBOO GETS 50 GIFTED SUBS WOOOOO, HE ALSO GETS THE SWORD WOOOOO it’s hella op lmao,

- 20 subs for everyone there, i love u Karl u are blessed

- “he has the sword don’t kill him RUN”

- Ranboo is literally the best i love him T_T

- Ranboo gets banned LMFAO “reason: oof”

if you actually read that all... wow

#dream smp #tales of the smp #'liveblogging'#karl jacobs #dream #georgenotfound #ranboo #sapnap #badboyhalo #mine

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in-tua-deep · 4 years

Note

Prompt idea that I sincerely don't know anywhere else to put out, but what if, one mother of the seven like... delayed giving up the baby idk why, but like, in the end the child goes to the academy, but like... they know the world outside this mansion full of all sorts of abuse and violence, and so is trying to bring good sense and awareness to all of other children somehow, even though like... you don't know very much or correctly the things in general, but is trying anyway because yeah

okay okay i will bite

it's gonna be Five bc u know how I roll by now and you didn't specify a child, so this is a non-twin world uwu

I see some people naming him Fievel so we're gonna have to go with that, nicknamed Five by the other kids who thought it was absolutely hilarious to ask "which one?" whenever Reginald snaps “Five!”

Though officially, of course, Five is number seven.

So Fievel is born in a park to a mother who was never prepared to have achild, but held him in the hospital and looked into the eyes of a man offering her money for her newborn and she says - no.

Because she’s poor, yes, and she’s working two jobs to make ends meet, and this man might be able to provide for her child but - she doesn’t like the fact that he offered her money. As though he could place a price on a human life.

(His stupid mustache might have played a role as well. Bastard.)

So she keeps little Fievel, and it’s hard. It’s so hard. Babies are expensive, and she was barely making enough as it was, but her best friend works from home and offers to take him sometimes during the day instead of a more expensive daycare. Some of her other friends ask around relatives and friends and hunt through garage sales until she has a passable amount of baby items.

It would be easier if Fievel wasn’t such a precocious child. He’s curious and into everything, a loud baby that demands attention.

“C’mon Fi,” She begs her three-year-old son from where she’s draped across the sofa. Aren’t kids supposed to sleep a lot? Why did she end up with the one kid in the world who is on the go twenty four seven? “Can we please take a nap?”

“No.” Fievel says with a mulish look in his eyes and he shoves a book towards her face and almost takes her eye out with a corner of it, “Wead to me.”

And she sighs, and she’s so tired, but she hauls herself up and pats the sofa next to her and her little boy beams at her with such - such love that it almost takes her breath away. “Dogger, again? How many times have we read this?”

Fievel kicks at her with his little soft foot, and she catches it in a hand and smiles and she drops the book in her lap to bring her other hard over to dust feather light fingertips against her baby’s sides.

He’s terribly ticklish and giggles even as he shrieks “NO” loud enough that their neighbors will probably complain to her about it again. But in that moment she doesn’t care as she brings her head down to blow raspberries on her son’s stomach and make him laugh.

She loves him so much.

(But she never has any time. Her friendships are more distant now, because she’s either at work or spending time with her son. She’s always exhausted because she works such long hours and Fievel keeps her awake when she’s a home. She doesn’t blame him, he didn’t ask to be born into the world any more than she asked for him, really. But it’s hard.)

Fievel is a curious child. She takes him to children’s museums and zoos on the discount days and watches him run around with seemingly endless energy. She has to keep a careful eye on him otherwise he will disappear, get distracted and wander off no matter how many times she’s tried to tell him to never do so.

Then he turns four.

Her baby is so smart. And he’s restless. And even though the place she works has a daycare through them, the people there are one incident away from banning Fievel. She thinks that’s dumb, considering they’re the ones that didn’t watch Fievel closely enough and lost him almost four times in recent months.

So she signs him up for preschool.

She gets him a brand new outfit for the day, fussing over him until he’s all squirmy and pouty and slapping her hands away with all the grump that a four-year-old can muster.

She sends him off to daycare with ruffled hair and a wide smile and tries not to worry too much.

She’s at work when she gets a call from the school informing her that they’ve lost her son. She hurriedly lets her boss know and sweeps out of work without a backwards glance, showing up at the school just as her phone rings again and a flustered individual informs her that they’ve located him.

“I have no idea how he got out.” The frazzled teacher looks close to tears when she meets with the poor woman, giving Fievel a fierce look that promises that they will be having a talk about this.

“I din’t do anything.” Fievel pipes up mulishly, “I didn’t go nowhere, the class did.”

She pinches the bridge of her nose, and faces the teacher apologetically. After a pointed comment from a friend, she’s been vaguely looking into ADHD since her kid is like this, “I’ll have a talk with him.”

“I’ll - I’ll make sure to keep a better eye on him.” The woman looks floored that she isn’t tearing strips out of the school administration for losing her toddler. Actually when it’s phrased like that she probably should be more pissed off. But she also knows her kid and what a handful her is.

So she takes him home and sits him down.

“This can’t happen again, Fi.” She tells him, and he’s got his little arms crossed and he’s pouting with his entire body. “I mean it. I had to leave work, and you know I have to work.”

“You don’t hafta.” Fievel says harshly, “What about me?”

She sits on the couch next to him, heart heavy, “Baby, you know I have to work so that we can have things and go places.”

Her son scrabbles up on his knees and puts his hand on her arms and gives her big eyes, “I don’t need lotsa toys. An’ we don’t hafta go to the zoo.”

“Oh baby,” She pulls him into her arms and lets him snuggle into her, “I gotta work. And you gotta go to school and be good. Okay? You can’t be leaving the classroom again.”

“I din’t mean to.” Fievel sniffles, and she hugs him just a little tighter as the tears start to flow.

“It’s okay.” She murmurs into his hair, “I got you.”

To his credit, Fievel does his best. He still manages to leave the classroom somehow, seemingly whenever the teacher is looking away. No one seems to know how he does it. Emma who sits next to him exclaims that he just vanished like he went BAM and wasn’t there all of a sudden!

(Oh, the imagination of four-year-olds, the teacher thinks to herself.)

But whenever he does he seems to come back within fifteen to thirty minutes. Sometimes the teacher doesn’t even notice he’s gone before he’s knocking on the (locked) classroom door to be let back in. They don’t call his mother about the incidents anymore and the teachers nickname him Houdini with a sort of despair.

Fievel is four-and-a-half when he’s taking a walk with his mother down to the park. He’s got his little rainboots on because he always wades into the pond and he likes the slosh of the water on his feet when it goes over the top, and his little duck shirt. He’s making loud quacking noises which don’t actually sound anything like a duck but when he looks at her for approval she nods with a smile.

They’re crossing the road at the crosswalk, holding hands because they always do, when the car comes careening around the corner.

She can’t react in time, eyes widening and she’s hollering and she moves to push her son and she only has eyes for him as she places her body between him and the car and -

She watches his eyes go wide and afraid and she

watches

him

disappear

and then the car clips her and she’s sent sprawling and that’s the last thing she remembers.

She wakes up in the hospital hours later with a concussion, a broken arm, several broken ribs, and a lots of scrapes. She’s lucky, they tell her. She demands to know where her son is.

Hours later, when she’s worked herself up into a right tizzy, her son sprints into the room followed shortly by some very harried looking cops and she has to haul him into the bed so that he doesn’t hurt himself getting up.

“Gentle, gentle.” She warms him, wincing when he bangs a knee into her bad ribs, “I’m a little tender at the moment, baby.”

“You got hurt!” Fievel yells at the tops of his lungs and then immediately bursts into loud and terrified tears. So she ignores her bad ribs and messed up arm and cradles him close to her making shushing noises and stroking his back until he’s cried himself out and drops off right there in the hospital bed.

She gets out of the hospital with a cast and a bill she can’t afford right now and she sits Fievel down on the couch.

She wants to write off the fact that her son literally vanished before her eyes to the concussion. But - she thinks about a locked preschool classroom and a son that has a tendency to vanish when she takes her eyes off of him and -

It makes too much sense.

“Baby.” She asks, “Can you teleport?”

“What’s tell-ee-port?” Fievel asks, scrunching up his nose.

“Do you find yourself in other places without getting up and going to them?”

“Yeah.” Fievel states it so easily, like she’s dumb. “I told you so.”

She pressed her fingers to her face, “Can you do it now?”

Fievel frowns and then scrunches up his face real hard and then -

He’s gone. And then he’s opening his bedroom door and scurrying back out. He runs over and tugs at her pants eagerly, “I did it! Did I do good?”

She crouches down and ruffles his hair even though it kills her ribs, because she can’t pick him up with a broken arm. “Yeah baby,” She praises him, mind moving at an hour a minute, “You did good.”

That night she lays in her bed and watches Fievel’s chest rise and fall as he sleeps. He sprawls out like a starfish but sometimes in the night always buries himself into her side like a tick. She’s put a pillow in between them to try and spare her poor ribs, but she has doubts it will work.

Her son can fucking teleport.

That’s when she cries. Because she loves her son, but he’s a handful. She didn’t even notice. She didn’t notice that he son has a superpower. Doesn’t that make her the worst mother in the world?

Crying is a terrible idea. Her ribs are painful enough that she can’t sleep. She needs to ration her pain medication because they really can’t afford it.

How is she supposed to handle this? How is she supposed to raise a child that can vanish without a second thought? Her bright beautiful boy who loves feeding the ducks and being pushed on the swings and playing unfathomable games with his friend Emma that she can’t even begin to understand the plot of.

(She’s almost certain one of them is supposed to be a cheetah for some reason? Or a lion? There’s a lot of running involved in the game, and hiding.)

It’s a few months later when her arm is healed and her ribs are better and Fievel is turning five when everything comes crashing down. Because she doesn’t get a call from the school. She gets a call from the police.

Apparently Fievel managed to get out of the school far enough away that he got lost. He admits tearfully to her that he’s been getting further and further away when he ‘jumps’ - and it’s not his fault. He tries not to jump. But it happens whether he wants it to or not and if he keeps getting further and further away then -

She thinks of a car and a road and putting her body between death and her son. And she thinks about the fact that when he jumps, she isn’t there.

Look. She’s not stupid. She always knew that her kid wasn’t exactly a normal child.

(Hello. He’s practically a miracle. She wasn’t exactly a virgin but that doesn’t really matter when she was very suddenly nine months pregnant where she hadn’t been before.)

So she reckons that the powers have something to do with that. And who does she know that definitely has a child who was also one of the miracle babies?

(He’d mentioned he’d already acquired like, what, four kids when he came to see her. As though that was supposed to make her want to give up her kid even more.)

So she requests some vacation days (that she can’t afford) and she pulls Fievel out of preschool for a week (it’s preschool it’s not that important) and they fly over to a city where she can hopefully get some answers.

(Fievel spends the whole flight with his face pressed to the window and his plane toy clutched tightly in one hand and his stuffed dog in the other as he enthusiastically makes whooshing noises.)

And she goes up the the big mansion thing and knocks and goes inside where she smiles at Fievel and tells him to go play with the other children while she talks to Mr. Hargreeves, thank you baby.

As she clenches her hands into fists and listens to Sir Reginald Hargreeves condescend to her about her ability as a mother, Fievel enthusiastically bounces over to the kids his age who stare at him like they’ve never seen anything like him before in their life.

(“I’m Fievel!” He introduces himself loudly, “And this is Doggy! My mama is here to speak to your dad.”

“Uh. I’m Six.” A bewildered little girl says back.

Fievel blinks, “Oh! I just turned five.”

The girl giggles, “No! No I mean my name’s Six. but I’m five-years-old as well.”

“That’s a funny name.” Fievel says.

“Nuh uh.” The girl refutes, “Your name is weird. See, ‘cause we’re all numbers ‘n you’re not.”

And he’s introduced to them all. One is tall and awkward looks. Two hides behind the others a little bit. Three has her hands on her hips and she looks at him, but softens when he tells her that he likes her hair. Four is a skinny wisp of a kid, with big wide eyes and no sense of personal space. Five sticks pretty close to Four. And Six, of course, is the one who talked to him first which obviously means that they’re temporary best friends.

Temporary, because of course Emma is his best friend. ‘Cause she’s in his class and they sit near each other and play together with each other first.)

And his mother comes out to Fievel bossing the others around and them going with it, all with bewildered little expressions on their faces. Fievel is balancing on the back of the sofa next to a little girl who is holding Doggy, possibly in the middle of an evil villain speech? The little girl is solemnly petting Doggy like she’s a Bond villain at the very least.

It makes her smile, just a little bit.

“Fievel, baby, can you come here for a second?” She asks, and her son beams at him and vanishes from his seat over to by her leg where he pulls on her leg so that she’ll sweep him up into her arms.

(The children gape at him, all wide eyes and staring between them and their father like they’re shocked. And they probably are. Reginald has informed her that none of them can teleport, but they do have a variety of weird powers between them.)

“You know that you’re getting big.” She says, and she tries not to cry, “And you’re not going to be in preschool soon enough.”

“Yeah!” He enthuses, “Gonna learn real stuff!”

And that’s just like her son. Voraciously hungry for knowledge.

“Well, this is a school for very special people.” She tells him, and watches his eyes go big and round, “People who... can teleport, for example.”

Fievel considers that. And then twists around to look at the other children, “You can teleport?” He demands loudly, like it’s a betrayal of the highest form that they’ve been friends for an hour and this hasn’t been brought up. And maybe it is. She doesn’t claim to understand the intricacies of children’s hierarchy.

“Uh uh!” A little boy exclaims, frowning. “I can just throw stuff real good.”

“I’m strong.” Another little boy offers. And then proceeds to demonstrate this by picking up half the couch and sending the little girl careening onto the floor with a shout, but she gets up and dusts herself off easily enough.

“Okay.” Fievel says brightly, appeased by this somehow as he twists back to his mother expectantly.

“Okay.” She says, her mouth dry. “Well. This is a special school for special kids. It’s, uh. It’s a boarding school.”

“What’s that?”

“It means you stay here.” She tells him. “I’ll - I’ll come and see you when I can. And you can call me whenever you want. But you have to stay here.”

“Like a sleepover?” Fievel asks, scrunching his face up in confusion.

“A little bit.” Her smile feels weak and forced and she can’t even see it. “Like a lot of sleepovers all in a row. And when you wake up, you don’t need to go anywhere because you live at the school.”

“Uh uh. I live at home.”

“Baby...” She cards her fingers through his hair. “I know it’s scary. I don’t want you to go either - ”

“Then I don’t gotta.” Fievel says, matter of fact as he starts wiggling to get down. She hefts him up in her arms.

“Baby. Fievel. Listen to me.” She says firmly, “I can’t take care of you well enough.”

He looks at her with betrayed eyes.

“It’s not your fault. You can’t control your powers.” She tells him softly, because she loves him and she doesn’t want to give him up but - “I can’t keep you safe, baby. And the teachers can’t keep you safe. But you’ll be safe here.”

“I don’t want to.” Fievel says, loudly. In the tone which says that a tantrum is approaching.

“You’ll learn how to control your powers!” She says in a forced cheery voice.

“I’m going to school with Emma.” Fievel insists in a slightly louder voice.

“You’re already getting along great with the other kids.” She insists.

“NO.” Fievel says, at maximum volume, and then he’s gone from her arms and she’s stumbling because it’s weird to go from holding something to nothing.

“He’ll show up in a bit.” She assures Sir Hargreeves, beyond tired. He’s been watching the whole interaction and she hopes he hasn’t gotten a negative impression of her son.

If he’s able to handle six other super powered children then surely he can handle hers. No matter what he asks. No matter how difficult it was to sign over the rights to her child. He promised that she can visit Fievel on weekends whenever she wants, for however long her son wants to do so.

He’s going to keep her child safe. He won’t be running out onto streets. He’ll be able to train his powers, be able to control them, and maybe one day -

(Maybe one day she’ll get her baby back. Safe and sound in her arms and able to control his powers so she doesn’t have to worry at all.)

So she leaves, and she leaves Fievel alone. And no matter how much he screams and cries and begs, no one lets him go back to his mother. He tries to run off, tries to jump away and follow after her - but a blond woman in pristine skirts comes and retrieves him.

(He tries to jump away, but she keeps coming and finding him until he’s too tired to protest when she carries him back to his new (prison) school in her arms.)

Reginald tries to lock him in his room. He jumps out. Reginald tries to put him in time out. He jumps out. Reginald says he doesn’t get any dinner. Fievel jumps downstairs and raids the cupboards in the night.

It becomes an intense battle of wills between Sir Reginald Hargreeves and little Fievel.

Locks go on the cabinets, Fievel breaks them off by bashing them with one of the bookends he manages to snag. Reginald refuses to let Fievel play with the others. Fievel runs away again and has to be brought back by the blond lady.

(“You can call me Grace if you’re so against mom.” she had told him demurely, after he yelled himself hoarse telling her that she’s not his mother that he has a mother and that she’s so much better in every way)

Then Reginald takes Doggy away, and Fievel begrudgingly has to fall in line lest he risk his stuffed companion. One of the only links to his real life he has.

(He doesn’t even get to keep his clothes. He has to wear the stiff awful uniform that the other kids wear. It’s the absolute worst. He looks stupid but no one listens to him.)

When his mother comes to visit, Fievel is sullen and still angry with her for abandoning him. He sulks and doesn’t talk to her a lot.

He grows like this. The Umbrella Academy turns six, and then others receive names after Fievel loudly points out that having numbers for names is weird and that no one should ever trust a man who names his kids numbers it’s lazy and stupid.

So One becomes Luther and Two becomes Diego and Three becomes Allison and Four becomes Klaus and Five becomes Ben and Six becomes Vanya.

And Fievel becomes Five.

They all think it’s really funny, that they all get names instead of numbers and Five gets a number instead of a name.

He’s six and Reginald sits him down and tells him in no uncertain terns that his mother essentially sold him. That Reginald controls him. And if Five isn’t a good boy then... well. Bad boys don’t get to visit their mothers.

(Reginald finds a far more... effective way of controlling Five than a stuffed animal.)

(Good boys also don’t talk to their mothers about their training. They smile and act happy and lie because they want to keep seeing her. They don’t tell her about how scary it is, how they desperately want to come home, how maybe their mother could take all the kids because they don’t even have mothers and it isn’t fair.)

So Five grows bigger, gets new uniform, clashes with Reginald as much as he dares, and settles in to life at the academy. He sprawls across Vanya’s floor and tries to remember all the story books he read with his mother.

(There’s only grown up books in the manor that they’re expected to read. And Five likes them, he loves to learn, but - he misses storytime. He misses the wonderful books about adventure and other worlds. He misses when he felt like he was going to go on an adventure because he had powers and was special!

He doesn’t wish he’s special anymore.)

Vanya asks him once why he hangs out with her, because she’s normal. Because she doesn’t have powers.

And Five looks at her and tells her that that’s the stupidest thing he’s ever heard. He spend years surrounded by people without powers. He tells her about his best friend Emma, who definitely didn’t have powers.

“I wish I had a best friend.” Vanya tells him, face sad and drawn and Five pulls her into the fiercest hug he can.

“You’re not my best friend,” He tells her, and she looks even sadder until he finishes it up with, “You’re my sister.”

“But you have a mother.” She says, sounding confused.

Five shrugs, “Doesn’t matter. Reginald is legally my dad, and he’s legally your dad, and so we share a dad. That makes us siblings.”

“Is a sibling better than a best friend?” Vanya asks after a long moment of silence.

Five doesn’t think so. He misses Emma. He misses his preschool. He misses his life, the life before the Academy. But Vanya looks so sad and pale that he hugs her again and says “Yeah, of course. We’re family.”

The others tolerate him in varied amounts. Luther thinks he’s dumb because he’s always mean to Reginald. Five thinks Luther is dumb, and he’s definitely right. Allison constantly bugs him for information about what she terms “the outside world” and Five has told her about birthday parties at least a dozen times and she still looks wistful and asks him to tell her about them again.

(They turn eight and Five produces a paper crown for his sister because she looked so wistful when he described Emma’s birthday tiara. Allison wears it until Reginald snaps at her to get rid of it, but Five sees her tuck it in the waistband of her skirt rather than throw it away.)

When Reginald snaps at Diego for his stutter, Five snarls and snaps back, getting between the man and his new brother and yelling because he knows that’s not how you help kids! Yelling doesn’t help! His teacher said so! And his mama!

Diego is never particularly thankful for his interference, but Five doesn’t care.

Five is nine and he jumps into the mausoleum with Klaus and holds his most fragile brother and snarls, threatens to run away. To take Klaus and just go, that they’d go to Five’s mother and she would take them away from Reginald and this place and -

Klaus always buries himself into Five’s side with his hands over his ears until the morning when Five either jumps away or glares with furious eyes at Reginald even when he’s punished after.

He’s nine when he gets into a screaming match with Diego who says that Five isn’t one of them that he has his mother and if he had the chance he would abandon them in a heartbeat.

Reginald threatens to cut off his mother’s visits if he finds Five interfering with “Number Four’s training” one more time.

Five looks at Klaus, who is his brother. Who is frail and skinny and pale with dark bags underneath his eyes.

Reginald looks satisfied because Five has always backed down before when his mother is threatened. It’s his ultimate trump card.

Five is so very very tired of his mother being used against him. And he loves Klaus. And these kids, they are his siblings. (He tries not to think about the fact that next year he’ll have officially been here just as long as he was with his mother. He hates it.)

Reginald finds Five in the mausoleum with cobwebs in his hair and his brother against his side and a glare on his face and Reginald forbids his next visit with his mother.

Five keeps jumping into the mausoleum. Klaus looks at him with wonder in his eyes and Five pries up the floorboard that hides Doggy (because even after Reginald found a better way to threaten him, he remembers) and cries himself to sleep.

“You chose us.” Ben states instead of asks, very quietly, when they’re studying together.

“My mother can look after herself.” Five says stiffly, not taking his eyes off the page. “Klaus can’t.”

Ben doesn’t say anything more, but Five feels eyes on his back for a good long while after that.

When Five is ten, they debut for the first time. They go to the bank, and stop the robbers.

(“We can’t send Ben in,” Five insists, “They’ll die!”

“They’re robbers.” Luther scoffs, crossing his arms.

“Doesn’t matter. They’re still people.” Five insists. “You definitely aren’t supposed to kill people. It’s a law.”

“Shut up, Five.” Diego says grouchily, “We just need to get this over with.”

“Dad’ll be pissed off if we let any of them escape.” Allison says, and the whole group goes quiet as they consider their father’s disappointed fury.

“I’ll go.” Ben mutters reluctantly, and Five tries to meet his eyes but the other boy slips into the vault before he can. The group stands silently as they listen to the screams and watch the blood splatter.

“This is wrong.” Five whispers.

“This is how it is.” Klaus whispers back, sounding defeated.

They don’t talk about it, after.)

Five smiles for the camera and lets Klaus lean on his shoulder and steals a thing of tissues from a reporter’s purse and uses them to wipe more of the blood from Ben’s face with a tight smile and the world goes on.

(He doesn’t know his mother watched. Doesn’t know the fury she flew into. Her son was supposed to be safe - he was supposed to be at a school. Why the fuck was he stopping a bank robbery like some kind of little child soldier?

She becomes a problem. And Reginald can be awfully practical about problems.)

Five is ten-and-a-half and he hasn’t seen his mother in a year and a half. And he’s tired and he’s rebellious so one day he sneaks out and finds a pay phone and the only reason he remembers his number is because his mother made him memorize it and quizzed him frequently.

(He’d gotten lost so often from wandering away and accidentally jumping. His rules were to approach either women with children or people who worked wherever and ask them to call her.)

Except the call can’t connect. Disconnected number.

Five frowns, and end up doing some research which involves massive lies to the library, and then he has a picture of a newspaper obituary in his hands and a hole in his heart.

Car accident, the paper says.

Five crumbles it up, and then smoothes it out again because there’s a picture of his mother next to the article and Five doesn’t have any pictures of his mother. So he hides it under the floorboards next to Doggy and cries himself to sleep and then he gets up and does his training and doesn’t talk about it.

He doesn’t tell his siblings. Not even when Luther blows up and calls him a stuck up brat who can go cry to his mommy if he think it’s so bad here. Not even when Klaus jokes about running away with a cracking voice in the mausoleum, not really jokes at all. Not even when Vanya asked him for another of his mother’s stories and he started crying in the middle of them. He’d just told her it had been a hard day of training.

(Vanya never asks him questions if he mentions training. He feels bad about lying to her and using it as an excuse but...)

He waits for Reginald to tell him. He waits, because surely someone would tell him that his mother is dead. He’s her son.

Reginald never tells him. He tells Five that he’s bad and still hasn’t earned back his visiting privileges. Five hates him so much. So so much.

Five is twelve-years-old and he is sprawled across Vanya’s bed after a particularly brutal day of training. Reginald has been trying to overtrain Five the day before he puts Klaus in the mausoleum overnight so that Five will be too tired to jump in. It doesn’t work, but it’s an exhausting enough punishment.

“I wish I didn’t have powers.” He tells Vanya.

“No you don’t.” Vanya says back fiercely, fists clenching in her blankets, “Not having powers sucks.”

Five tilts his head and looks at her, “No.” He says gently, “No one knew I had powers. And I was loved. I was so loved, Vanya.”

“Stop it.” Vanya says, face tight. “If you were so loved, why did she leave you here?”

And Five opens his mouth and nothing comes out, because it hurts.

“You don’t wish you had powers, Vanya.” Five tells her finally, and there are tears in his eyes but he’s looking at the ceiling not at her so it doesn’t matter. “You wish you had a family. A proper family. Not this - this stupid academy. I hate it. I hate it here.”

“Don’t call it stupid.” Vanya says, “It’s not fair. It’s not fair that you have a family and we just - we just have the academy, okay? So don’t call it stupid.”

“We deserve better. We deserve a childhood.”

“We have a childhood.” Vanya scowls, “Just because it’s not as nice as yours was or whatever - ”

“This is my childhood, Vanya.” Five snarls, propping himself up to face her, “I know you all think I’m so spoiled and - and I’m not one of you or whatever, but I came here when I was five. My memories of before - Vanya they’re fading. I couldn’t pick Emma out of a crowd if I tried. I’ve been here for years longer than I was ever there, and it’s not fair.”

“You still have a mother - ”

“No I don’t.” Five cuts her off, his voice ice. Vanya’s eyes are wide, startled by his tone. “Vanya, look around you. When was the last time I saw my mother?”

Vanya’s lip wobbles as she realized she can’t remember.

“It’s been three years.” Five tells her, eyes hard and cold and angry, “She’s gone. I made a choice, and I chose you. I chose the academy. Because despite everything, I love you guys. You’re my siblings, even if sometimes you don’t act like it.”

“Five - ” Vanya tries.

“No.” Five cuts her off, hopping off the bed and shaking his head, “I’m going to - I’m going to go to my room. You get some more practice in or something. I think Pogo picked out this piece and you know what he’s like.”

He doesn’t let her get a word in before he jumps up to his room.

Five is twelve when he stands in front of Reginald and says “I’m not using my powers anymore.”

“You have an assignment.” Reginald says severely.

“No.” Five refuses politely, and his family watches with wide eyes from the sidelines. The only family he has left. “I’ve got control now. I’ve decided I’m going to be normal now.”

Reginald locks Klaus is the mausoleum early and watches with unimpressed eyes as Five picks the lock and strolls in.

Reginald handcuffs Five to a rail. Five plucks a paperclip from his sock and picks those as well.

Reginald locks Five in a room from the outside and tells him that he’ll get dinner when he jumps out.

Five opens the window and shimmies down the drainpipe and has to be picked up at Griddy’s where he’s charmed the owner out of a free doughnut and hot chocolate with a sob story about school bullies to explain his grubby appearance (the shimmy down the drainpipe hadn’t exactly been graceful. or clean.)

He locks Five in the basement in a weird room that’s soundproofed. Five tries to hunger strike but - it’s so quiet. He can hear the sound of his own heartbeat. He can’t stand it. It’s like the room was made specifically to torture him.

(He looks at the little bed in the room. The sheets were dusty. This room has been around for a very long time. He wonders who it’s for, Allison, perhaps? She’s always been fairly obedient, maybe this is the reason why.)

He jumps out on the second day, and doesn’t talk to anybody. Reginald is smug like the cat the got the canary, and Five hates it.

Then Five is messing around, and something slots into place, and he realizes - oh, he might be able to time travel.

Once he figures it out, he’s desperate. He’ll save his siblings that way. He’ll take the to a time where Reginald can’t get them. They’ll be out of reach.

(maybe - maybe they can travel back in time. maybe he can save his mother -)

Five is thirteen-years-old when he time travels for the first time. When he runs out of the house like he’s done so very many times before, except he’s angry and frustrated and he’d tried to bait Reginald into telling him his mother’s dead again and he hadn’t and -

Five jumps. It’s snowing. He did it. He jumps again, laughing. He jumps again -

Ash.

He tries to jump, but his power fizzles out. He calls for his siblings. No one answers. He finds the academy - rubble.

So Five lives in the apocalypse. He tries to go home, he does. He buries his siblings as well as he can. He wanders around gathering food and textbooks. He picks up a mannequin and names it Dolores.

(He searches the rubble of the academy, but he can’t find Doggy or the picture of his mother. Either they were found and removed years ago, or they’re buried beneath too much rubble. Five doesn’t know.)

He takes Dolores on a road trip. He tells her it’s to see if they can find any people, any survivors.

he arrives in a graveyard and traces his mother’s name with trembling fingers. this is the first time he’s been to visit her grave. this is the first time he’s seen her in four years.

So he survives. He grows up, desperately clinging to life by his fingernails. He does complex calculations, wondering what his mother would think of him now.

He meets the Handler. He becomes an assassin.

(he’s glad his mother is dead, so that she will never see what he has become.)

And then one day, he gets home. He falls into the courtyard, and looks at the faces of his grown up siblings and -

(he’s so tired of losing people. he’s so tired of being taken away from his family.)

He hops to Griddy’s, he gets into a fight with assassins, he cuts a tracker from his arm, and he goes to Vanya’s apartment.

And he’s Five, but he’s also Fievel. And somewhere inside he’s still that same kid who loved his mother and wanted her to fix thing, who trusted her even though she didn’t have powers. His mother wasn’t ordinary, and he’s never seen Vanya as such.

So he asks her for her help.

(Later, she tells him that they hunted down his mother when they were fifteen, because they’d been absolutely convinced he’d just run away and gone back to herno matter how much Reginald insisted he was dead.

That’s when they found out about her death. Her date of death.

“I’m so sorry, Five.” Vanya says, tears in her eyes as the whole family shuffles and looks away.

And Five puts his hand on Vanya’s. “I knew, Van.”

Her head snaps up. Klaus blurts out a what in the background.

Five shrugs, “I’ve known since we were ten. It’s okay.”)

Five sends Vanya to investigate the eye.

(He asks Klaus - “Have you - ”

“No.” Klaus says instantly, shaking his head. He knows what Five is asking.

Five considers that answer, then shrugs. He’s not sure if it would be better or worse for his mother to be one of the ghosts that tormented Klaus. “After I - after, did dad get worse?”

“Yeah.” Klaus says simply, because it’s true.

Five hadn’t been there to jump into the mausoleum and try and shield his brother from invisible enemies.

“I’m sorry.” Five says quietly.

“Me too.”)

Vanya comes back and the eye hasn’t been made yet. Five swears, loudly and at length.

And maybe in another world Five snaps at Klaus and denies Vanya and goes off on his own and ignores Allison but -

In this one, Five was the only kid who not only didn’t care that Vanya was ‘ordinary’ but actively challenged her on it. Who told her in no uncertain terms that he was jealous of her.

(It’s a very different book that comes out.)

In this world, Five shielded Klaus and challenged Reginald. He jumped into the mausoleum and hugged his brother and, most importantly, he chose Klaus over his mother. And Klaus knows that. Klaus has... a lot of loyalty to Five, and even though he’d though for a long time that Five abandoned him... he knows better now and he feels - he feels guilty for doubting his brother. That guilt may or may not manifest in being a bit clingy.

In this world, Allison thought Five was fascinating because he’d been in the real world. He’d been to real school. She remembers him telling her about his mother, about trips to the zoo and the museums and the birthday parties, about sleepovers and playdates and parks.

(She has a daughter, and she takes Claire to the children’s museums and to zoos. She tries her best for her daughter and hears Five’s voice telling stories in her ears. She does her best to be a good mother, she tries so hard.)

It’s a slightly more united family that stands against the apocalypse.

But there’s always something with them, isn’t there?

“Don’t you know?” The Handler says, with her perfect lipstick smile, “I don’t have to win, I just have to take you out of the game. Your weak spot has always been the same, hasn’t it?”

“You don’t have shit.” Five says, unimpressed. “My family is fine.”

“Are you so sure about that, Fievel?”

(Five already chose his siblings over his mother the first time. The choice is... much more difficult the second time.)

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