#idk how to tag this shit if anybody needs it i just woke up again

[venterry]

its kind of crazy to think about that two of my neighbors passed because of different accidents within like two weeks and i keep thinking about how i wish i couldve gotten to know them better

with these things theres a moment after where i feel like i need to get more out of my life before it suddenly comes to an end, but i end up so caught up in the stress of school and work and whatever i forget about it until something happens again and i feel like my life is slipping through my fingers

im fine now just honestly sad

[imacrowcawcaw]

Eyes of Juniper Ch. 1 (A Metallica Fic)

Ao3 Link

Author (as known on Various sites): Lady Lover- Rockfic, Luluthechoosingcrow - AO3, theladylovingcrow - Deviantart and Wattpad, @sammy_bluebells - Instagram, @imacrowcawcaw - main Tumblr, @insannywestan - Sanny shipping Tumblr Pairing: Lars Ulrich/James Hetfield, Kirk Hammett/Cliff Burton, Lars/Female Character (briefly), Lars/Male Character (kinda, more just awkward one sided flirting then Lars gets rescued by his knight in a ratty Motorhead shirt) Fandom: Metallica Tags/warnings: Sex-swap AU, early 80s era 'tallica, smut, gay smut, also het smut since the whole gender switch thing, drinking and alcohol, lots of cussing and profanity, should warn that Lars goes into detail about taking a piss cuz ya know it's new to him, Idk I'll add tags per chapter as I think of shit

Notes: 

1. Okay, so I spent like months thinking about whether to do this or not. On the one hand, yes this has so much potential to be fun (and I've seen some other sex swap stories i like). On the other hand, a lot of the whole sex/Gender swap thing is really stereotypical gender shit and goes against what I personally believe. But, creative juices won out and I'll try to keep true to character as much as possible while also making this funny and not too misogynistic (if that's possible).

2. This is a work in progress! I started it a year and a half ago, and now a friend is helping me continue 

3. This story is inspired by the song 'Jewel of the Summertime' by Audioslave (on their album Revelations) I love this song and it is awesome you should totally go listen to it.

4. The witch-lady is inspired by Aine, Celtic goddess of love, summer, wealth, and sovereignty. I literally just googled 'goddess of love' then scrolled through a list to find someone other than Aphrodite (don't get me wrong I love Greek mythology but it just wasn't right for this fic) and came across this girl. I only did a quick Wikipedia read, I'm not planning on going too heavy into her myth and more just using her for the plot but.... If anybody is more well versed in Celtic mythology and I seem to get something wrong, please feel free to comment and I'll try my best to make it accurate!

5. Woo damn that was a lot of stuff, I don't blame you if you didn't bother reading it. Now, on with the show!

----------

1984 (Lars' POV)

The first thing I felt when I woke up was this odd sense of.... well, just something being fuckin' off. Like I was missing something, but also like I had gained something? I felt like a brand-new person, although in my gut I was still me.... Man, I must have had WAY too much Jager last night, it's fucking with my head.

I slowly peeled the itchy fleece blanket off of my body and rolled onto the floor, which was about a foot from the bare mattress. We really needed to invest in some sheets, especially if we wanted to keep bringing chicks back to the house. Apparently, most girls are not at all impressed by stained, lumpy mattresses with almost no bedding on them.

Speaking of girls and mattresses, didn't I bring one home last night? I raised my head slightly from its position from the threadbare carpet and looked at the bed, trying to see if Anna (Was that her name?) was still there. Yep, there was a naked hippy still passed out in my bed, sweet!

I groaned quietly as I stood and shuffled my way out the door and down the hall to the bathroom. It was then I noticed that I didn't really have the usual alcohol-and-early-morning-and-piss induced erection, but my bladder was still straining. Huh, weird.

Whatever. I just wanted to pee, get rid of that feeling in my gut, and get that dead possum taste out of my mouth. Pushing open the door and wincing as the creaky hinges screeched through my headache, I pulled down my boxers and reached for my dick.... What the fuck?

WHAT THE FUCK?

WHERE WAS MY MOTHERFUCKIN DICK?!

Trying not to panic, I looked down, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment so I wouldn't have to see right away. But, of course, that kind of defeated the purpose of looking down, so I opened them again. No dick. The hell was going on?

Taking a deep, calming breath, I tried to think through this rationally. My dick, for whatever reason, was not where it was supposed to be. But, my bladder was still full and begging to be released, so obviously my system or whatever was still working. That need to pee was turning into a burning pain, so I tried to come up with a solution. If I don't have a cock, then I can piss through....what, exactly? Is there anything down there at all? What is even going on!?

Pulling in another deep breath through my nose, I let it hiss out between clenched teeth as I slowly, so slowly, touched my fingers to my abdomen and moved them downwards, dreading what I would find. Annnnnd....... Yep, there it was.

Velvety soft lips, slick, pungent juices; anatomy I knew so well but never, EVER expected to feel on myself. My crisis would have to wait a minute, though, 'cause my bladder was going to explode and no dick be damned I needed to do something about it.

Gingerly sitting my ass down on the toilet (god, so weird sitting down just to piss) I tried to slowly let it out. The feeling was...well there was certainly relief of the pressure, but it also felt strange in a way I couldn't really describe. I could possibly get used to it, not that I'm planning on staying like this or anything.

Cringing as I wiped, I slowly pulled the boxers back up to my hips that I just now noticed were a little wider than usual. And my hands, were they smaller? Softer? My chest too....HOLY SHIT I HAVE BOOBS! That, I might be able to get used to.

I turned to the mirror, and was quite shocked at what I saw. There was a girl standing there, with large, doe-like green eyes staring back at me from underneath brown bangs. She had a nice tan on her upper body, although her breasts were still pale where she clutched at them, small rosy nipples poking through her fingers. A pair of black cotton boxers stretched tight around the small curve of her hips, but hung loose around her milky thighs that almost touched. And this...this chick was me. ME.

Shaking my head, I splashed some water onto my face and rubbed my eyes, hoping it was just a fucked up dream. No such luck.

I was considering hiding in the bathroom forever, because no way in hell could I let the guys see me like this, let alone figure out how to explain, when I heard a scream. It sounded a lot like Kirk's voice, so I pushed my problems to the back of my head and ran into the hallway, stopping dead in my tracks at what I saw.

Anna, or whatever her name was, stood at the top of the stairs, dressed in flowing black robes with green Celtic designs all over them. She had jewels and charms hanging from her waist, wrists, neck, and ears, each tinkling as she tossed some sort of... Powder onto a very shocked looking Kirk. Or at least, I was pretty sure it was Kirk. He (she?) seemed to be in the same boat as me as far as bodies were concerned at the moment.

With a final dusting of powder, witchy-chick turned to me and smirked. "I hope you learn your lesson, I'll be back in a week. And as for you...." She turned to Kirk, "Well, you're just too damn cute! I couldn't resist seeing what a pretty girl you'd make!"

"This is your fault? You bitch! " I yelled. "Why the hell did you do this to us? Who are you? Change us back, then get the fuck out! I don't wanna be a damn girl, and neither does Kirk!" God this was fucking insane, that chick was crazy!

She hissed at me, eyes flashing in a way that could not be human. "Now you listen, GIRL. You'll stay like this for as long as I deem fit. You need to learn some respect for women, and being one is the best way to do that. I suppose you don't remember what you did last night?" She asked, looking bored and ready lo go fuck up someone else's life.

I thought hard, then it came creeping back to me. The bar, the Jager, the flirting with a group of girls, copping a feel and getting slapped, then her changing her mind and coming home with me, talking dirty in her ear, then unworldly sex, her whispering what sounded like a spell in my ear as I came... Holy shit.

"Is this about me grabbing your ass? I'm sorry! Please don't do this!" I begged, finally starting to let the situation sink in and desperation set. This could not be happening.

"Hmph," she snorted, "Begging isn't going to get you anywhere. I've seen humans beg for much less, and they still didn't get it. No, you'll love your life as a woman for a week, both of you, and hopefully you'll come to realize the struggles and terror that comes with it. If you've learned your lessons and are truly sorry, then you will be turned back. If not... Well you'll just have to stay like this until you do."

And just like that, she turned with a flourish and disappeared into thin air. My morning could not get any crazier, I was sure if it. But, because I wasn't actually sure and was suddenly doubting all logical occurrences in the world, I knocked on the wooden railing. That done, I turned towards Kirk.

He (seriously, do I call us he's or she's now? This is so fucked up) was shaking like a leaf, looking like he'd fall over any moment. I went over to grab him, calm him down, something.

"Shh shh, it's all right, Kirk," I muttered in his ear, awkwardly patting his back. I never thought I'd need to, but it really fucking sucks I can't comfort him any better than this. It was like this sour feeling in my chest that nestled in right next to my heart, whispering how awful I was at this and how he's probably mad at me for getting him into this situation.

Before I could ask him if he wanted to punt me out of a window, though, I heard some shuffling and talking coming from downstairs. James and Cliff were headed up here. As much as I wanted to hide for a week until my fuckin' "lesson" was up, I couldn't exactly drag Kirk into the hall closet in his current state, so I stood my ground.

"Hey, ladies, we do appreciate the service you've done our ugly ass friends, but could you keep the cat fight down until you've left the house?"

Ah, James, the man still didn't know how to talk to women after all this time. He was either too shy to form a sentence, or he put on this macho bravado that turned him into a drink asshole. Either way, this lady was not pleased.

By now I guess the guys had reached the landing Kirk and I were at and saw me hugging him, because Cliff chimed in, "Aww, they've made up! Good! Now, can I ask what exactly you two were telling about so loudly that it woke me and my boy James up? Did Lars do something?"

My back straightened at that, and I turned my head to him indignantly. "I did fucking not!" I retorted, even though apparently this whole situation was my fault. No need for them to know that, though.

"Holy shit, Lars!?!" James screamed.

I sighed. "Hi, Jamie."

----------

Chapter 2

[dancewithyoutoday]

OTP Tag Game!

I was tagged by @whaticameherefor, thank you so much my friend!!! <3 I could do these things all day lol

1. Ian x Mickey (Shameless)

2. Damon x Elena (The Vampire Diaries)

3. Brian x Justin (Queer As Folk)

4. Claire x Jamie (Outlander)

5. Clark x Lana (Smallville)

6. Wade x Zoe (Hart Of Dixie)

7. Rae x Finn (My Mad Fat Diary)

8. Seth x Summer (The O.C.)

9. Jane x Lisbon (The Mentalist)

10. Emma x Hook (Once Upon A Time)

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

Yes, I do. It was the pilot episode lmao

2. Have you ever read a fanfic about 2?

Nope. I started reading a fic about them a few years ago, but stopped after the first chapter. I guess I didn’t connect to the fanfic versions of them, so I’ve never tried again. Maybe because I felt they were already perfect and canon didn’t need any ‘improvement’? idk.

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr screen saver?

Uhm, once maybe? I can’t remember.

4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

Well, they actually didn’t end up together in the show, they were only a couple for a very short time, but yeah, even though I was sad about it, I eventually accepted it, because it was the right thing for Rae in that moment.

5. Why is 1 so important?

Because they make me feel things no other couple has ever made me feel. They were two fucked up kids who needed love and understanding, two fucked up kids who fell in love in the darkest place. They are two men who know and understand each other in ways that no one ever could. They never gave up on each other, they could never be apart, their love is so strong it overcame time, distance, heartbreak and even two boyfriends lmao. They complete each other, they’re the actual definition of soulmate and I think no one deserves happiness more than they do. Plus, I kinda feel very very protective of them, I would literally protect them with my life if ever needed. Last but not least, they’re the OTP who made me fell in love with fanfiction. In fact, I only read Gallavich fics and I could never imagine my life without them anymore. 

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

I would say funny, because Patrick would always tease her or try to make her smile, but he was also dealing with the trauma of losing his wife and daughter, so it wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows between the two of them.

7. Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

Ian x Mickey and Damon x Elena. Hands down. (s1-s5 Delena, at least)

8. Out of all your ships listed, which ship has the strongest bond?

I’m gonna cheat and say Gallavich, Delena and Claire x Jamie. I could never choose just one, because well, Damon was willing to wait for Elena for 60 years and more (and he really did until Elena finally woke up); Claire and Jamie reunited after 20 years and never stopped loving each other, not even for a day; Ian and Mickey’s bond is so strong that literally nothing could tear them apart. So yeah, I’ll go with these three!

9. How many times have you read/watched the 10’s fandom?

I watched OUAT just once. (if I understood the question?)

10. Which ship has lasted the longest?

Uhm, Delena I guess? They became human again and we were shown that they remained together until the day they died.

11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

They went through a few ups and downs, but the worst break up was in season 2 when Wade cheated on her.

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

Definitely Damon and Elena, they were supernatural creatures themselves after all, so at least they’d be prepared lol

13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

Rae did hide it, for a while. She was too embarrassed to be seen next to Finn, because of all her insecurities and low self-esteem :(

14. Is 4 still together?

Yes, foreverrr!

15. Is 10 canon?

Absolutely, they even got married :’)

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

I literally know nothing about Hunger Games, but I’ll go with Delena again.

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship?

Let’s just say there were... many external factors lmao. Clark’s initial fear of hurting her, Lana marrying Lex, Clark becoming a jerk when exposed to red kryptonite, and finally... the Beast itself, green kryptonite. I don’t remember precisely how, but Lana finds herself sort of trapped in a suit made of green kryptonite, and that’s obviously the death of her relationship with Clark, since they literally can’t stay near each other and are forced to say goodbye.

Shh, Giulia, it’s fine. It’s been a long time, you’ll get over this.

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

Ian and Mickey. I love all the ships I mentioned, but Ian and Mickey are my children, I will always choose them over anyone and anything. Seriously, don’t touch them.

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page?

Unfortunately there are very few pages that post about QAF and Brian x Justin nowadays, but the answer is yes, I would.

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink?

Jane and Lisbon, I’M SORRY.

This was so fun, thank you!!! asgshajaj I’ll tag @sickness-health-all-that-shit, @whatyouandihave-makesmefree, @beckyharvey29, @thisfeebleheart, @gallavich-and-millagher, @itwasnttheplanokay. I apologize if you already did it :))

[you-get-to-exhale-now-cyrus]

#3 of the winter prompt for tyrus

((you got it!! 3. “You. Me. Snowman. Now.”))

Word Count: 1,463

At precisely 5:34 AM, all the phones in the Goodman household starting ringing. Cyrus groaned, putting a pillow over his face before realizing what that meant. As quick as his tired body could manage, he leaned over and answered his phone.

“Hello, this is a prerecorded message from Jefferson Middle School. Tomorrow, there will be no school due to the weather. School will reconvene the following day,”

The other phones were turned off after a minute, followed by a string of complaints from his parents (”Why can’t they just send a text the night before,” he heard Norman grumble).

Sighing happily, he grabbed a blanket from the foot of his bed, wrapped it around himself, and padded towards his window. Was it a bad idea for him to be opening his window at 5:37 AM just to see some snowflakes? Probably. Did he do it anyways? Yes.

It was beautiful. Millions of white flecks dotting the sky as they hurried towards the ground. One landed on his finger, and he pressed it into his palm, allowing it to melt. Ever since he was a little kid, his parents had told him that all snowflakes were wishing opportunities. He pressed his palm to his heart and made his wish.

I wish TJ would like me back.

The next time Cyrus woke up, it was almost nine o’clock. Morning sun rays spilled through his blinds, causing him to squint as he got up. His lawn, along with his neighbors’, was covered in a thick blanket of snow. The wheelbarrow that held leftover dirt was nowhere to be seen, probably engulfed by the snow. Beaming, he grabbed his phone and texted TJ.

[Me]: did u see the snow??? its crazy

He scrolled through some older conversations he’d had with the other boy, and they made his heart soar. He counted every heart emoji that TJ used (13 within the past few days), and every keyboard smash (30, again within the past few days).

[TJ

[TJ

Cyrus smiled, flopping back on his bed.

Thirty-one.

“Make sure you come inside when you get cold! I’ll have cocoa ready!”

“I will!”

Cyrus waddled out of the house in a thick parka, a scarf, a pair of bulky gloves, snow pants, a knitted hat, and boots. One wrong move and he’d go tumbling down and wouldn’t get back up.

“Hey, Underdog!” A familiar voice chirped, kicking some snow out of his way, “ready to make a snowma–what are you wearing?”

Cyrus rolled his eyes playfully. “Snow attire, something you are clearly not cultured in,” he pointed out. TJ sported a thin hoodie, with finger-less gloves and a beanie. Sneakers were where his boots should have been, and no snow pants were seen.

“How you wound me,” TJ sighed dramatically, placing a hand over his heart, “but seriously, you look like a store than ran out of mannequins, so they put every thing on one,”

Cyrus would have crossed his arms, but his jacket was too bulky, so he opted for putting them on his hips. “I came outside to build a snowman, not to be ridiculed for the fashion efforts of my parents,”

TJ put his hands up in mock defense. “Okay, okay, you got me. Now,” he took a breath, a silly grin splitting his face, “do you wanna build a snowman? C’mon let’s go and play,” he sung, flailing his arms dramatically in an attempt to dance.

It took a moment for Cyrus to process the sheer amount of cuteness before him, but when he finally came to his senses, he gave in to TJ’s singing.

“I never see you anymore, come out the door, it’s like you’ve gone away!” he continued, his voice cracking near the end, ducking his head.

“We can’t all be talented singers like me,” TJ commented, earning him a shove from Cyrus.

“What happened to building snowmen, Kippen?” Cyrus joked, narrowing his eyes.

“I’d rather just listen to you try to sing. It’s cute,” he replied smoothly, silently cursing himself for not bringing a scarf to hide his blush.

“…shut up,” Cyrus responded quietly, rocking back and forth on his heels.

“I’m serious,” TJ told him, grabbing a handful of snow from the ground and forming a little ball, “you look so cute when you-” he cut himself off, throwing the snowball at Cyrus and watching it fall apart, allowing it to dust his face.

“Hey, no fair! You can’t distract me like that! You didn’t even start a formal snowball fight!” Cyrus pouted, a few loose snowflakes falling from his eyelashes.

TJ shrugged, smirking at the shorter boy. “Life’s not fair, Underdog. You just gotta get used to it. And it hurts like hell sometimes, but you get the cards you’re dealt,”

“…are we still talking about snowball fights?” Cyrus asked, tugging at one end of his scarf.

TJ merely shrugged again, walking over to one of the benches the Goodmans had. “I mean,” he started, dusting off the seat so he could sit down, patting a seat for Cyrus, “sometimes I feel like the odds are stacked against me,”

Cyrus frowned, slipping off his gloves and shoving them inside his pockets. “Why do you say that?”

TJ scoffed, absentmindedly taking Cyrus’ hand in his. “Well, considering I’m gay, I feel like I’m starting at square negative five,” he mumbled.

Cyrus squeezed his hand. “Hey, we’re talked about this. It doesn’t matter what other people think about you. There are so many people that care about you and–”

“Wait,” he interrupted, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers, “it gets worse because…shit, why is this so hard,” he grumbled, puffing out a breath of air.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me,” Cyrus assured him, meeting TJ’s icy blue eyes with his warm brown ones.

“See that’s the thing, I can’t tell you. I can tell literally anybody but you,” he sighed, releasing Cyrus’ hand and rubbing his temples.

Hurt. That’s how Cyrus felt. “Wh-how come you can’t tell me? But you can tell other people? Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” he replied quickly, “I mean…sort of. Not on purpose,” he supplied, a frustrated breath coming out of his nose and creating a small white cloud.

Cyrus willed himself not to cry; it was too cold and he was worried that his tears would freeze. “..I’m sorry, I guess,” he whimpered, pressing his bare hands onto his eyes and rubbing at the furiously, “for whatever it is I did,” he muttered, standing up.

A few snowflakes landed in his hand, and he clenched it into a fist. I wish TJ would tell me what’s wrong. I wish that whatever I did wrong I could correct.

As if TJ could read his thoughts, he sprung to his feet. “There’s nothing you can to,” he started, bracing himself, “it’s not your fault that I fell for you,”

Silence. The worst sound of them all.

Cyrus glanced up at TJ, trying to meet his gaze, but the boy’s eyes were shut tight. “…like-”

“I like you, dammit,” TJ huffed, opening his eyes and kicking at the snow under his feet, “and you make it so hard for me not to do so. Every time you hold my hand, or tell me that I’m enough, or cheer me on at my basketball games, I just fall harder and harder. And I sucks, because yeah, I know you like guys, but why on earth would you like this guy,” he pointed to himself, sighing dejectedly.

“TJ,” Cyrus began, taking his scarf off and placing it around TJ’s neck so he could still pull on the edges. He tugged him closer, nearly stumbling over his boots that were too big for him.

“I like you too…dammit,” he whispered, a tiny breath of moisture appearing between them. Giving the scarf one last tug, he pressed his lips against TJ’s eliciting a squeak from the taller boy.

Cyrus could audibly hear TJ take in a breath after they pulled back. His cheeks were a deep shade of red, and that was definitely not only because of the weather.

“Wow,” he murmured, taking Cyrus’ hand and intertwining their fingers, “I can get used to that,”

Cyrus smiled warmly, nodding over to his house and beckoning for TJ to follow. “Me too,” he replied.

As they walked, a few snowflakes accumulated in Cyrus’ free hand. He almost made another few wishes, but he took a look to his right. Seeing TJ there, holding his hand, and smiling because he was happy to be with Cyrus, he wiped his hand on his snow pants. He didn’t need any wishes; he had everything he ever wanted right here.

tag list:@shortstackofpeaches || @seanna313 || @geekingbeautytx || @heavenlybyers || @ghostswasp || @wlwandimack || @giocondasstuff || @lemonboytyrus || @adorejrizzle || @swingsetboys || @ifellintotyrushell || @idk-dude-17 || @rbf-lesbian ||​ @marianara-sauce || @kaptainjinxz || @alex-poster-pizz

[skamremakesfromhell]

I will never understand how skam italia got so popular that it somehow developed its own breed of stans outside of regular skam/Rm skam stans? Like i literally see other rm stan accounts othe twitter and tumblr complain about how obnoxious skam it stans are

so idk if you were really asking for a breakdown but i’ve been thinking about this a lot recently so im gonna ramble about it for a bit whoops

so it was always inevitable that the remakes would cause divisions within the skam fandom and i think that’s important to kept in mind. there were divisions when there was only the 1 show! the chaos of 8 was a given lol. so not only would there be people that preferred one remake over another but there was also the immediate division between fans of og who didn’t even wanna touch a remake with a 10 foot pole and og fans that were watching the remakes

so the first rounds of remakes start (skamfr, skamit, druck, and skamus) and there was a lot of excitement and disappointment happening because we were all excited for new content but simultaneously disappointed that the content wasn’t new enough. that s1 was the same exact story across them all. skam france came first and it really set the bar real low. it felt to many like a cheap copycat. it had some fun stuff here and there and the cast was doing a decent job but overall with the constant promise of “change” from the production/cast that never followed through a lot of people quickly got tired of it. by the time s1 was almost over druck and skam italia began to air and a little bit later skam austin starts. right here i think it’s important that s2 of skam france was airing for a majority of the time these others were on since s2 is the season that’s the most “either you love it or you hate it”

a number of people gave up on skamfr either not feeling it/refusing to watch s2/whatever and moved on to the other remakes. i think it’s really important to note that at this time skamit was the only version that was changing “william” in any substantial way. druck only changes at the very end and it’s only the fact that he apologized to kiki on his own but edoardo had been introducing small deliberate changes to his character throughout the season. this gained interest from both noorhelm fan and anti noorhelm people because it was new! and different! compared to the other version not changing much for this storyline and skamfr airing a basic copy of s2 this was an exciting development! it was something that intrigued more og fans

of course you have to remember that everyone thought all the remakes were gonna be terrible. they were all a lost cause from the very beginning. people that were enjoying the remakes were already having to be defensive against og fans who hated the remakes just for enjoying them. skamfr was already kinda a dud, skamus had too much hype and pressure on it since it was the one julie was working on to really live up to that, and druck was falling to the wayside from poor production decisions (going on break for a week within the first month without telling anyone ?!?? really ?!?) skamit s1 did seem to be the best produced, with some interesting character changes, and a nice aesthetic. it quickly became the one most people recommended to others. new person asks “which remake should i watch?” and the first answer would almost always be skamit. italians were all pleasantly surprised by the show which made them want to spread it even more. like “look finally some good italian television!” the actors are good and not super overdramatic! the shots are nice and pretty! everyone on the cast is so pretty! rome is so pretty!

but what made this turn into the skamit fans being their own “separate” fandom? well if you go back through all the #discourse you can see all the number of time skamit fans have had to defend the fact that they liked skamit and that in itself will limit you down to the kind of people are always on the defense. who feel like they have to talk about all the great amazing things to feel validated in liking what they like because people are out there criticizing it. who either don’t care about issues people raise or don’t want to think about it. “why can’t everyone leave us alone” “if you don’t like don’t watch” “this is how italy is and you’re the problem for not understanding that”. the casting of sana caused a lot of people to call out skamit and condemn it as “problematic” and/or refuse to watch it before it even aired. now i believe those people are well within their right to do that. if something like this about a show upsets you you don’t owe it to anybody to watch it. but what this caused was people that wanted to watch skamit/enjoyed it felt the need to dismiss the issues raised by other people in the fandom. this is because 1) people were attacking them for liking skamit and 2) it’s become the culture of fandoms to demand you only enjoy things that meet an incredibly high moral ground and you have to constantly prove that the media you enjoy does that. which is such a disservice to being media literate honestly. and this kept happening. the racist, fatphobic comments, the excuse from the production about sana’s casting, the lack of any minority actors, the excluding of mahdi’s characters, the n-word being used and the mess that was the response from the cast and crew

it was one after another of things that made a number of people decided to not be a fan of skamit anymore and once they’d decided that any new thing that came out just proved to them that they were right! that skamit was racist and they were right for dropping it! but that doesn’t just end there because then it becomes anyone that supports skamit is racist and doesn’t deserve respect. and while all this is happening as every new thing happens and we all argue again about who is the most “morally superior” the fans of skamit are stepping on the toes of anyone that dares to criticize the show. they are defensive because they feel like their character is being attacked. because they feel like they have to be. and so ideologies are clashing all over the place over what is and isn’t racist, what’s good representation, what’s the importance of representation over “realism”, how realistic is skam really, you have muslims saying sana’s casting is disgraceful and muslims saying they don’t mind it, people of color saying it’s bad that there are no pocs and that sana is whitewashed and other people of color saying this isn’t a big deal because it’s realistic for italy, europeans claiming all the hate is coming from americans who live in a “us centric world” and don’t understand european views on race and europeans saying uh no i also think this is racist, italians saying this is just how italy is and italians calling all the racist stuff out. it’s just a ton of arguments that are difficult things to get people to see eye to eye on especially when it’s all over social media text and everyone feels like they have something to prove! prove the show they like is morally sound! prove they’re actually the most “woke”! prove and blame and defend and dog pile on everything! and no one is actually listening to each other because defending or shitting on a show is more important than remembering the humanity behind these arguments. remembering that there’s a person who you’re upsetting! who you are hurting because we’ve all invested too much of ourself in this!

it really bred this perfect space for back and forth arguments that went nowhere because people felt the need to tighten their hold on their own ideologies and to defend their position over any random comments they see. i’m guilty of doing this a number of times. i’ve seen a post in the skam tag and made my own post against it. i’ve seen comments on my post or people sub-blogging me and called them out to address it. this thing this show and all it’s versions are something we as fans all feel very strongly about. and this is really the only space we have to talk about it. to hash everything out. to post whatever thought we have. emotion run high! and with the anonymity of social media these arguments escalate so quickly!

i think it’s accurate to say that skamit fans are defensive. they feel like they have to be because they feel like the reasons they and the show they love are attacked are arbitrary reasons. they’ll dealt with so much criticism that any remark against skamit feels like another attack they need to defend themselves against. which has now created a culture where people are scared to say anything critical of skamit. that they’ll be deemed a hater and told “if you don’t like don’t watch”. but people don’t have to defend against every argument they see! they dont need to sit themselves on a high horse! anti skamit people are told to just leave and not bother with skamit but this goes both ways! skamit fans don’t have to address every criticism!

because of this back and forth that went no where we’ve created a culture where we can’t seem to even have discussions about the show anymore. about what we like/don’t like. what’s working and what’s not. that if you say “i don’t like this” you’ll get someone in your ask box basically saying “fuck you” because we attacked the people that wanted to enjoy the show it’s made them feel that everything is an attack. and this is a phenomenon you see across many fandoms! this morally superior hate-filled childish attacks. and at this point i don’t know if we can undo the damage that’s been done, both to how the fans of skamit view criticizers and how the people that aren’t fans view the fans. and that’s honestly really unfortunate

[guiltypuknowme]

THANK YOU @cinderellasfella FOR THE TAG I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MYSELF

Nickname: guilty, jeepers

Zodiac: libra

Height: 5′4″

Last movie I watched: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh **mumbles** the magnificent seven

Last thing I googled: parasaurolophus

Favourite musician: this is hard i don’t like it. weezer, fountains of wayne, ray charles, the drifters... i listen to so much god damn music ok.

Song stuck in my head: woke up an hour ago with “new music” from ragtime in my head. “aura lee” has also been rolling around in there. and in the time since i got up from my computer just now to take cookies out of the oven, i started singing “henry ford” from ragtime so, that’s a pretty good example of how my days go.

Other blogs I have: @starprince-sparkles is my thorquill blog, and @jeepers-draft-bin is a blog i made so i would stop hoarding drafts and have a better way to search through the things i save for later

Do I get asks: occasionally! not often, lol. but i LOVE to get them

Blogs following: 140, apparently. i would have thought more. i would like more actually.

Amount of sleep: ideally ~8 hours but during the week it ends up like 6 or 7. rarely more than 8 because i never go to bed early and on the weekend i always want to get up and suck the life out of my free time.

Lucky number: i won like two separate guessing games in third grade with “72″ so

What I’m wearing: leggings and a thermal shirt i stole from boyf

Dream job(s): i just want to sing, honestly. like damn. don’t need fame. just a room full of people who give two shits about hearing me sing and somebody who’d pay me to do it.

Dream trip: i’m in peak disney mode right now so it’s back to my grand disney tour of america, feel free to @ me about how uncultured i am. (i also miss ireland and barcelona. i don’t have the capacity to dream about new vacations right now i guess)

Favourite food: idk man. junk food.

Play any instruments: i play some piano and once upon a time would fool around with the guitar.

Languages: english. i minored in spanish but it’s been a hundred years since college so i’ve been trying to bone up with duolingo again and i’m kinda getting it back shoutout to writing vasquez

Favourite songs: this list is a hundred miles long, honestly. a tried and true is always “tiny dancer” because it’s the first song i ever heard and also it’s just a banger. i love music. i have six-thousand favorite songs

Random fact: i’ve been a babysitter/nanny for the past twelve years.

Describe yourself with aesthetics: oh lord. warring aesthetics, honestly, let me tell you. too-large shirts and too-skinny pants/leggings. motherfuckin high-noon cowboy stuff. also superheroes in space. reading out loud. singing while i do literally every single thing. what’s even going on

tagging: @dandalf-the-disco, @hummingbirdsalt, @deinvatiwrites, @aflailureandamasterpiece, honestly anybody who wants to for real

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2/20/17, 6:30pm - on toaster pastries and posture and my new gf and stuff

yknow there are only a select few kinds of pop tarts that I find tolerable. Growing up my mom always tried to send me to school with the brown sugar ones I think and I hated that shit. Not sure if I associated it with the fake-meat bologna she also put in my lunch boxes back then, but it always made mefigure she was always buying me the worst fucking kind. I remember one time I told her I only liked the strawberry ones and she got me the icing-less ones. Then those like wild berry ones (read: not blueberry) came out with like the swirl on it and I thought that was the shit so I always asked for those even though they weren’t better than strawberry, but I knew my mom couldn’t fuck with them. Now the only kind I’ll really ever eat is Smores. I never toast em. Decided to try something different with these vanilla latte ones. They didn’t taste great straight out of the packaging so I toasted this one and it’s totally like alright but I would never eat them again if I didn’t have this whole fucking box of them now. Shit. Wal Mart, ya got me again.

Idk why, but I thought that was important.

Ok, so like I’m not sure where to begin as always, so I’ll just go with my last post and start from there. I was deciding to quit tinder. It seemed like it had been built to encourage me to try to date a dude, and although I did started snapping with this one guy who was like a little cute and liked video games, my heart just wasn’t into it. On a whim I decided to try to delete my tinder account, clear out all the old matches that were p much dead to me (cough cough kailey lmao hahaha), and try to start fresh. And it worked great! On my birthday. Oh shit I have to write about my birthday.... Anyway, on my birthday, I decided to start a new profile, and in between games I’d swipe a couple times and whatever. The next day I ended up getting matched with like 8 people or something. Got super liked by a real girl and by a bot (lolwut) and my faith in womenkind and tinder was at least a little restored. Plus a little self confidence boost on top of getting all those likes from dudes. Kinda nice. I basically started chatting up these two girls. This skinny blonde waitress girl and this vietnamese girl who liked me because I was also into traveling. The vietnamese girl ended up liking me a lot, I took her out for valentines, I got her flowers, we got some sweet gelato and saw the new 50 Shades movie (really not bad), got some cookout, it was great. That was like our second date. The first was like the day before so we decided to start dating on the 15th. Man talking about it in reverse is hard.

So on my birthday my voice went out. like woke up and it just sounded like I had been screaming my lungs off all night thursday which I hadn’t. iirc I had been smoking a bunch of pipe tobacco and weed but that’s it. Friday I got a fuckton of beer (I still have too much of it lol) and just played melee and some old N64 games with anybody who wanted to drop by. It was really nice. Super chill way to bring in my 25th since I was still under the impression that I Might have syphilis. (Did I say I might have syphilis? Oh yeah, ofc. Yeah the lab results didn’t come back in so I was just trying not to sweat it all weekend. Went by the tag “Dirty Birdy” the next day to commemorate it lmao.) So I chilled and drank 14 beers over the course of the 12 hours and had a chill ol time. it was great. Saturday was just a tourney, and sunday my voice was still recovering but while i was like cleaning some shit I ended up talking to some of the girls I matched with on Tinder. I ended up really hitting it off with this girl Tiffany, who’s living here now but is originally from Vietnam. Strangely had a lot of things in common, and she wanted to talk to me on the phone until 5am. it was super cute. Was gonna try to play a slow cosby and like actually do this whole pacing yourself thing and now we’re going way too fast into dating for just like a week or whatever oh man I could’ve sworn it’d already been three. wtf. but idk she’s also really serious about liking me and at the same time really self conscious about herself. So I just see myself a couple months ago and realize how off putting I kinda am lmao.

Now I’m up and down for work so totally lost my train of thought. We had a date the other day where she came over and we got some vietnamese food (she convinced me to not have pho for once, and it was still just as delicious. She was like feeding me spoonfulls of fried rice, it was too fucking cute lmao) and we watched Scott Pilgrim (which she loved) and Pitch Perfect (which I actually thought was pretty hilarious, though I’m still not convinced acapella is actually cool.)

Kinda worried that I’m on this Scott Pilgrim progression from Envy (Kailey) to Knives (Tiffany) if only because she’s asian and has a bob cut and is way too in love with me already. Really not sure what I’m gonna do here, but just playing it by ear ofc. It’s just nice. whatever it is, I just haven’t had it in a while and its nice. 

But also I think I’ve already been restored to this mental state of not needing someone in my life checking in on me lmao so that’s troublesome. Fickle as always, dude. Gonna cut this post here so it’s not a million pages long.