#idk i tried doing sport related goals once and i just

[groenendaze]

my only dog related goal this year is to get more into canicross with finch. that’s it. i just wanna run more consistently with my best little dog

[najatheangel]

Written Ship 🐶

Hey luv! I was wondering if I could do a written ship request for enhypen , txt, and nct dream ?

I’m a 5’5 skinny south Asian girl with layered long wavy dark hair (as in it goes down to my waist but I swear it’s healthy thanks to coconut oil )and dark eyes . I absolutely adore the color yellow oml it’s just one of those colors that makes me happy but at the same time I’m like indecisive cuz every color has its own vibes but i wine with yellow a lot . And for seasons idk I feel every season have something new it brings to the table so I can’t choose.. but I kinda like the colder seasons cuz I can wear my cozy sweaters lol. I’ve been doing classical dance for about 10 years and recently started doing urban for the past 3. I’m also learning contemporary cuz why not lol. I’m also such a art geek like I love to paint, draw, and even write from time to time. As for sports I do tennis oh and mbti type is ENFP . Sun sign Scorpio, moon in Aquarius, and rising Leo. [...]

 I hope you’re having a good day and thank you for ur time ! 💞

@golden-fields-with-berries Hello darling thanks sooo much for requesting it was lovely getting to know you. Sorry you had to wait so long school is really has really been a pain in the ass lately and I had to get extra study time. Anyways enough of that here ya go boo…✨⭐️

From Enhypen, I ship you with…Jungwon

Positive Side: Your relationship will last a longtime. First of all, your both very talented in the area of dancing and have enough experience to the point where it can take you to big places in your careers. Your both very straight forward, focused and would use good strategies to accomplish goals together as partners. Communication between ESTJ and ENFP personality types tend to focus a lot on the big picture when it comes to real life experiences, each other’s history and facts on certain topics rather than theories. It’s a good thing, because your constantly keeping it real with each other and being realistic which can help for the both of you when it comes to making big decisions. As far as your interactions together, you both feed of each other’s energy. You both resemble golden retriever’s in a sense getting excited over going on dates, hanging out with each others friends and seeing each other enjoying a hobby together. He enjoys seeing you playing tennis with him even though he knows he you win every game and seeing you get excited about showing your artwork your artwork to him which made him super soft for you. Jungwon is the more younger and charming one in the relationship so he doesn’t fail to sweep you off your feet and will continue to prove himself to you how worthy of a boyfriend and support system he can be for you. 

Negative Side: With him being the Aquarius and you being the Scorpio, it was hard at first to become a couple, because you both have similarities yet some differences which can be hard to accept. The differences I’m referring to can relate to your expectations and values when it comes building relationships. For example, Jungwon would want someone that thinks more with their mind mean while you would want someone that thinks more out of their heart. These small differences can cause some intense debates and question your both able to survive this relationship. It almost even cause you guys to break up because of this big divide between you two that’s hard to adjust.

But…: Because your both so different from each other, doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. At the end of the day, you both have love for each other and would help each other change for the better. It makes it a lot easier to agree to disagree and learn to respect each other views in life a little bit more. You might not be the most compatible in other people’s eyes, but you both know the what’s best for each other and would rather stick around with each other. 

From Txt, I ship you with…Soobin

Positive Side: Very interesting loveable duo. Your both people that have a love and obsession with knowledge and learning new things whether it has to do with science, biology, psychology, etc…In the area you both click the most in is art and music. Of course you have more knowledge in the art department, but of course Soobin is all ears and will hear you talk for hours about the latest artwork from your favorite artists. He also love when you give him your most honest feedback on his songs because it helps him give suggestions to his other members and produce more better music to their fans. The relationship between Scorpio’s and Sagittarius tend to have a more stable connection and meet each other’s needs in a relationship. Soobin would give his input on certain situations your having trouble with whether it involves you messing up in school or getting into an argument with a friend. He tries the break down what you did wrong in the situation and how you can fix it without hurting their your feelings. Whenever he comes across an issue dealing with a scandal in his career or have any doubts within himself, you turn a negative into a positive and remind him why he’s in the music industry in first place. This bond overall is for the most part something you cherish for the rest of your young lifes. 

Negative Side: Scorpios tend to have a hard time trusting people they’re closest to. Soobin is the one that’s more adventurous when it comes to traveling with you and coming up with more creative ways by expressing his love for you. The fact that his love for you is so strong, he’s constantly afraid that once he makes one mistake, there is no running back to you. Not saying that your extra strict on Soobin, but because trust is so important to you if Soobin ever lies, hides or betrays you on something huge then it’s hard to rebuild that bond you both worked so hard on building. Your biggest fear is almost similar where your afraid that because your so different from him, that it would be hard for Soobin to adjust. 

But: Your both very honest and straight to the point that you both don’t have to worry about breaking that level of trust with each other. After staying together with him longer than a year all your worries start to wash away and you both finally can live stress free as a couple. Sometimes you still have your disagreements and blow outs, but it always ends on a high note. Soobin is the light that helps guide you to the right direction and your the 

From Nct Dream, I ship you with…Renjun

Positive Side: Renjun is probably the best match out of everyone on this list. To start it off Scorpios get along very well with Aries because they have a very strong sexual chemistry. Depending on how they feel at that moment in time, the relationship starts off as lust and then love. In the case of Renjun being on the more innocent side and little experience with dating, it’s no secret that he wouldn’t deny his feelings for you out of love. From your point of you you enjoy having him around, admire his intelligence and his ability to stay committed to you while living his dream. Just like Soobin, you both love having deep conversations about each others hobbies, conspiracy theories and personal insecurities that your both struggling with. You are also very protective of each other and don’t ever take shit from anybody. If anyone tries to flirt with you or disrespect, Renjun would shut that down immediately scolding that person. You both think off of emotion and crave that when it comes to becoming affectionate with each other. Your both not the best with words, but better with actions. He’s multitalented in the art and music department as well so any art project or dance cover you wanted to work on together, Renjun won’t hesitate to join in with you. Both of your biggest deal breaker is tolerating liars and people that sneak around. Lastly, your level of trust is the most balanced out of everyone on the list, because you both can be clingy and jealous sometimes, but not to the point where it’s hurting your relationship. 

Negative Side: When it comes to communication Renjun can be a fire cracker. Sometimes he can be very impatient and wants answers right away when it comes to having those deep conversations with you sometimes. Just like I mentioned earlier, you can be talking about how happy you are in your relationship with him and Renjun would either have a hard time expressing his emotions back by playfully brushing it off or pretend like he didn’t hear what you were saying which would hurt you. You wish sometimes Renjun would be better at expressing his love back at you with words as simple as “I love you too.” You both also try to be strong infront of each other and can’t sense what the other person is feeling half of the time.

But: Renjun is someone that can keep you on your feet and would always show signs of his love for you. Somedays he can be clingy and constantly texting because he’s missed you all day. When he shows small yet meaningful gestures it makes you 10x happier. Your friendship and faith in each other what helps your relationship last much longer with him. Remember if you didn’t experience bad days with him, you wouldn’t have good ones. :)

Out of everyone I ship you the most with…Renjun💎

[lcnguor]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: Mik      Age: 26       Contact: IM, discord, smoke signal, whatever.

Character(s) I rp: Nora, Spike. Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Nora, most likely Current Fandom(s): Fandomless Fandom(s) you have an AU for:  pretty much everything I find around and hop on. My language(s): spanish, english.  Themes I’m interested in for rp:   Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: modern without supernatural, I do have some fantasy set up but eh. 

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?:   YES / NO   only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?:   YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. How long do you usually take to reply?:  24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?:  IC / OOC. Are you selective with following others?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting:  ask, IM, discord, singing telegram, smoke signals, messeger pidgeos -- whatever dude. I will most likely talk and ramble a lot, I do like plotting and I squeeze my brains out to think in ways to rp with ppl. and I really suck at approaching others. really...

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner:  Ideas and somewhat more enthusiasm than me. I tend to shy away or feel very much awkward right off the bat if the person approaches me with not much to say or give. And honestly, some people really intimidate me because I am too hard on myself, so giving a bit of a pat on the back makes me relax more. I deal with a lot of anxiety and I know people run away the second I show it. 

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?:  Mostly when I am doing the talk or coming with ideas or looking generally more interested. It takes effort for me to get on things and actually do stuff but if it’s not the other way around I end up thinking they got bored of me. I am one hell of insecure person. As for what I do, if after many tries of trying to reach another person and end up feeling rejected or ignored, then ... I stop. What’s the point of insisting if the other person would just be awkward or not spare you a word?

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?:  well, I usually ask first what the other thinks or have in mind, if nothing, I either suggest or start brainstorming with the other person. I know some who have dealt with me at first I seem like a dettached person but not having ideas really makes me feel like I have not much right to talk. I want to give yet without impossing or letting it twist my arm. I know for a fact nora’s lore really doesn’t help shit for most things. 

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if the thread was meaningful and we were really into it , then I would ask but as for the most, I don’t really bother with it. Sometimes people just lose muse, and even if I was enjoying it, I don’t have the right  to force someone or ask why they stopped. thread dropping is normal, i guess.  - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?:  whatever they want. telling me or not is up to them, I don’t really mind. RP is not something SUPER serious like it should be just perfect. I try to convice myself of this a lot.

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?:  either because it was old as fuck, I couldn’t find muse or because it was lost in the void of tumblr’s amazing tracking system. - Will you tell your partner?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Is communication in the rpc important to you?   YES / NO. - And why?:  if I do not have some idea of who am i rping with and what they have in mind, then it’s nearly impossible. being purely IC is really uncomfortable and could lead to a lot of misundertandings. - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?:  yeah. mostly yeah -- I mean, I will feel bad, I do have feelings, but I will take it with water. - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way?  YES ( but I will feel bad anyways ) / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?:  connect with others, ramble a lot about characters, have fun. I’ve been rping since i was 12 ( back then it was not big deal your age apparently ) and having to connect with other people by making these plots and stories and just having a fun time is something that brings me joy. There’s so much that can be done. And exploring my muses with other muses influences is really helpful to fill the holes left due indecisiveness.

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios:  I wish people joined my lore more. Having muses that could be in the same story department as Nora in particular, would be hella and inspire me more. There is so much I have. Explore nora’s power is also something I want but it’s hard -- it’s very invasive and not many would really like it, feeling it’s meta. For now, I don’t really have other muses and Spike has her little crew outside tumblr.

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore:  umm, it’s hard to think in something in particular. But mostly stuff that collides with nora’s story/character. but there is a lot I am willing to explore.

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: casual starters are my fab. It’s easier to figure out how  to go or stop and think. plotted ones also work. as for what I dislike or cannot work with, things that force my muse to not act how they would? not giving me something solid is hard to handle. 

What type of characters catch your interest the most?:  I really like out of the norm muses, something that you see and say /oh , look at that/. Aesthetically, story wise or personality wise, something that goes out the usual troup most would use. I do have a guilty pleasure for opposite to my muse characters --- something that would really show the contrast with one another.

What type of characters catch your interest the least?:  Very basic ones? or those who try TOO hard to be special. A character that doesn’t fit in the context they are in, esp. in fandoms. HEAVILY divergent characters that just basically turn them into OCs. I know I sound like a bitch but I am the type who respect canon and the actual author behind the character too much. Also those that I don’t know much about? as in, the fandom never managed to catch my interest or smth in that line.

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?:  I know where is the line between fiction and reality. And that what your character does it does not reflect as the person you actually are. I am pretty laid back and I understand people’s views and reasoning. idk. I draw a lot if I am super invested ?

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: I am super sporadic and can go from being super active to flat out dead for weeks. my mood swings a lot with the amount of attention I get, as horrible as it sounds. I am very anxious as a person for reasons ( not IRL mostly, just bad experience from previous partners ). I promise a lot but do little? honestly I will just bad mouth myself if I keep writing this.

Do you rp smut?:  YES ( tho mostly on discord ) / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?:  YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?:  both? - Anything you would not want to rp there?:  ehhhh, idk -- i don’t do as much to know what I don’t like here.

Are ships important to you?:   YES / NO / RELATIVE. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?:   YES / NO. Do you use read more?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?:  the very nature of human relations. I am talking about Nora big time here -- there is a lot to explore in her relations and how she reacts and acts towards someone is very very contextual. How much she fakes, how much she is sincere, how much she struggles or how relaxed can be. force her to show her real self, which is very hazy even for her as a task. Be very poetic deep and also very shallow. I particulary see her as a character that REALLY depends on her relation with the other muse -- but generally speaking for any of my muses: I love to explore them as a pair and as individuals. - What is your smut tag?: the unfamily friendly. ( new tag (?))

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: Anything? I am open to anything honestly. As long as it makes sense.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?:  Anyone who is denying their feelings, are peculiar as an individual or anyone who needs an insight of themselves and the world around them. Nora is a mentor type of character, she is here to be a support and help others explore themselves and learn. Also if you are a minor, she will most likely try to get close to help -- one must protect the good sad kids.

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?:  Stubborn, very fixated with things. Who would not open themselves to other perspective without thinking someone is trying to change them. Also she would struggle a heck lot with psychopaths and sociopaths, or anyone that “doesn’t have a face” for her. - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?:  Curious people, struggling ones, kids in general -- people that are willing to listen to her opinions and try to improve in a positive way. Also those who are quirky in a way. 

- What interests your Muse(s) in general:  rabbits, literature, interesting people, the unknown, learning, relationships of all natures.  - What do they desire, is their goal?:  Live long without letting her particularity ruin her -- for her kind nobody makes it past the 50s and she wants that , to conquer her ability and prove that even with something like she is ( they are ), it’s posible to live and be happy. have a family of her own, yeah she is that cheesy. - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?:  Their actions and the emotions that they are carrying on their back.  - What do they value in a person?:    sincerity, willingness, enthusiasm. - What themes do they like talking about?:  a lot of phylosophic stuff, deep topics -- as well to casual things of life. about people and society. - Which themes bore them?:  excuses and avoidance -- people who are willing to drop everything and give up.

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?:  the attempt of suicide of her mother. and the successfull suicide of many of her peers. - What could possibly trigger them?:  any sort of threat or violence towards someone who does not asked for it. esp. her peers and family. - What could set them off, enrage them?:  Immoral ones. Those who are willing to stomp on others just to success in their goal. - What could lead to an instant kill?:  is not killing, but touch a hair of her family and you are done. same for her friends and protegees.

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?:  gorgers, suicide, her tired face. - Is there someone /-thing they love?:   her family and dear ones --- to a fault. rabbits or anything related to it.

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  any way is okay as long as is not threatening. - Where are they usually to find?:  during the night, in the streets -- during the day is either her workplace or her house. maybe a park near her apartment/location if she is feeling stuffy.

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?:  she is not a good person , she is willing to manipulate people and is constantly trying to impose her morals. but she is also very sensitive even if she doesn’t show it --- Nora does look tired for a reason , and one of them is because she cries a lot . 

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  @skyvar​ Tagging:  @batoushoujo​ , @obtainedloss​ , @lorddiiavolo​ , @evanesense​ , @sunpierce​ , @necrotrigae​ , @maljefe​ , @ethaeria​ , @calpio​ , @veiliisms​

[limesicle]

5 times Haiji didn't cry and 1 time he did

Ao3: link

Chapter: 1 of 1

Words: 2954

Pairing: Kakeru x Haiji (KazeTsuyo) 

Rating: T

Tags/notes: angst, injury mentions. I didn’t read the source material so idk that much about backstory whoops. Also, not super /shippy/ but I mean Haiji looks at Kakeru like he’s worth more than the entire solar system from day one sooo

Summary: Title says it all.

=======

The first time is when he realizes his body is breaking.

His father pushes him to train, and he pushes himself. Again. Again. Until he can feel his joints that are hardly a decade and a half old start to pull apart. His tendons strain to bind him together. His veins pump equal parts oxygen and agony.

Haiji looks around the team. At the other boys, legs free of braces, shoulders free of the weight of having his father be coach. Most of the time, he clenches his teeth and does what he needs to do. He looks at the team and sees some looks of pity, some of contempt. He hears the doctors warning him that if he keeps going, he won’t be able to walk by the time he’s thirty, but he can’t listen to them—he can’t quit yet. All he has ever known is running. (He squashes down the fear that it’s all he’s good at.)

He misses practice. Once. Twice. Then three days in a row because the inflammation is so bad he can barely crawl to the door of his bedroom.

It’s worse when he gets back—the looks of pity, the looks that seem like they’re just waiting for him to fall. And then there’s Fujioka, who still looks at him like he can make a comeback—like he’s more than broken pieces held together by fraying threads–like he’s strong, when he’s just too weak to show the world he’s breaking.

The second time is at the end of high school.

Fujioka wants him to go to Rikudo instead of Kansei. Haiji knows there’s a part of him that wants to follow Fujioka, that believes in miracles and happy endings. He could let a dream like that seduce him, but he won’t. He made his choice.

Haiji stands in the middle of the path. Fujioka is a step or two behind him. He can feel the barest hint of late afternoon sun setting, and the breeze that lifts his hair reminds him of what running feels like. For a moment, he closes his eyes against the dimming light and thinks of miracles. Then he thinks of the way his leg is shaking even when he’s only standing still. And all the reasons he made his decision in the first place.

His lip trembles, but he turns to Fujioka with a smile and shuts the door on a future he doesn’t dare to dream of. I’m not strong, he says and wonders if someone who has never been anything else has a chance at understanding.

The third time is after surgery.

By now you’d think he would be used to it. For years he hasn’t been able to take as much as a single step without the pain reminding him that he isn’t whole.

But he’s not used to it.

Haiji clenches his teeth and carefully does the exercises the physical therapists describe. He tries not to get frustrated at the days and weeks of months of sitting still. But every time he fails to take a step, every time he hits the floor for trying too hard, every time his body screams in agony as it strains to meet his demands, it gets harder to keep the tears from his eyes.

As he sits on the floor, head bent to rest between his knees, arms clenched around his body, he learns to regulate his breathing again. Steady his heartbeat. His body learns that growth takes patience and not just hard work. His mind learns to fill the empty hours with his university work.

And there’s a new dream brewing. Something that comes from deep inside his soul.

It’s then that he decides on Hakone, and the fire that’s been long gone from his eyes starts to return.

Hakone.

Because he can’t run, he throws himself into researching and planning. He finds the people he needs one by one. He gathers them until they’re just one person short.

And then, as if by red strings or the winds of fate and things he didn’t used to believe in, Haiji finds him. Number ten. He sees salvation in the way a petty thief runs away from the convenience store.

Kurahara Kakeru is a name he recognizes, because he spent the past years scanning through anything related to running—high school, college, or otherwise. Kakeru runs by, and the breeze that follows causes his heart to skip a beat. He feels the touch of the wind god, Fujin, in that breeze and sees the wings of Hermes on his heels.

Hours later he can still see Kakeru running. Kakeru is a shooting star and his feet light the path that Haiji has so desperately been trying to follow. He has dreamed of the Hakone Ekiden for years, and for the first time, he can see exactly how he’ll get there.

It’s not easy to get Kakeru, or anyone else, really, to agree to his plan. But in each one of them, he knows there’s a soul that wants to run. He just needs to find it. As he struggles to get them to agree—one by one—and struggles to get them to get along, to train, to run, he realizes that maybe he’s not so weak anymore.

At first, he finds himself turning to Kakeru, because he’s the most experienced runner on the team—other than himself. And then he finds himself turning to Kakeru just because he can. Kakeru who is blunt and stubborn and selfish in ways he probably doesn’t understand. Kakeru who runs on a path of starlight. Kakeru who is honestly brusque and righteously short-tempered and awkwardly charming.

Haiji finds himself as the team comes together as a team—watching each one of them find their own path to run. He is still looking for an answer for why he runs. How can he love a sport that breaks his body and wears down his mental stamina? It’s exhausting and infuriating and each step along the path is a battle. Sometimes he wonders. Sometimes he thinks he settles into the pace of his feet against the track and thinks he already knows.

The fourth time is the moment Prince finishes his race just fast enough to let them go to the qualifier.

They have a chance. It’s a dream that is four years in the making, and they’re still only at the start line. But they’ve earned the right to try.

Fujioka stands by his side. Steady in his presence and solid as always. Their paths are different now, but he always did love running with Fujioka at his side.

This time, his lip trembles, and he takes an extra minute to make his way to the rest of the team.

The fifth time is when they qualify.

The race is crowded with people trying to win, showing months or years of hard work in their steps. As they move forward, they spread out, finding their own pace within the pack. Haiji runs beside Kakeru near the front. He waits until the right time, and then with a tap on the back, he tells Kakeru to fly.

The mess by the water tables is unexpected, but he makes it by. He feels a shift in his leg as he lands and nearly stumbles the next step. As he runs, all he can think is don’t break, don’t break. He finishes the race thanking his body for holding out. Kakeru isn’t far from the finish line. As the minutes tick by, the rest of the team joins them until only Prince is left.

And then the race is over. And they wait to hear which schools made it. With each school announced, the tension rises. By nine, the pressure is so high he can barely think. Haiji stands with the men he’s spent the past ten months making into a track team, and waits as they all hold one collective breath. And then ten is announced.

Kansei University.

It’s another goal passed. The finish line is almost within sight. His heart soars, full the bursting point with happiness. He turns to share this elation with the team and catches just a glimpse of Shindo sobbing into Musa(also sobbing)’s shoulder, the twins piling onto Nico-chan, King unplugging his ears with disbelief written across his face, and—Kakeru fills his field of view, blue-gray eyes practically glowing. For a moment, they stare at each other, hearts beating to the same tune of joy. Haiji leaps forward, ignoring a twinge in his right knee and any doubts he would usually have about jumping into Kakeru’s arms.

(The one time.)

They train hard in the time they have before New Year’s. They deal with the twins’ doubts and struggle with the limited time. Haiji spends more time in the hospital than he has in a while, checking and double checking. He still thinks of himself as broken pieces and wonders if the glue holding him together now is just as weak as it was before. He thinks of four years of planning and doubts that it was enough.

Haiji silences thoughts about himself and turns instead to thinking about the team. (He still wonders what he’s running for, too). He offers encouragement where he can, support where needed, and a reminder or two that rest is important.

And then the day comes.

The first day is difficult. Prince starts them out well, and Musa follows up. But then there’s the drama with the twins and romance of all things. In the middle of a race. Haiji ignores the temptation to say a variety of things to instill fear into their souls instead of sparkles and hearts. Instead, he opts for a gentler approach.

Kakeru, sitting next to him in the car, doesn’t seem surprised at all. When asked, he mentions something about Musa, dark baths, and Hana-chan. He says it with flush darkening his cheeks and his eyes dart away from Haiji’s. Haiji lets himself be distracted for a moment. And then he turns some of the things he thought of directing at the twins toward himself.

Shindo’s section of the race is the most difficult to watch. Haiji watches him stumble and stand again a hundred times. If Shindo stopped, Haiji wouldn’t blame him, but there’s a part of his soul that’s begging him to keep going. It’s selfish, he knows, but a part of him needs this race—to heal, to move on. So he watches the screen, hands stiff with tension, and tries not to let the guilt set in.

The vice grip around his chest eases a little once Shindo is done with his section and back inside. Be shares a look of reassurance with Kakeru, as they finish pulling the blankets up around the figure of their now-sleeping teammate. Yuki hangs back just a moment. Haiji reads a kind of frustration and guilt in his expression. After a moment of thought, he steps out of the room pulling Kakeru with him.

The rest of the evening passes relatively uneventfully. Kakeru passes in and out of sight. Shindo wakes before too long and they videochat the rest of the team. It’s not the same as physically being in the same place, but there’s a kind of peace that comes with unity, even if it comes in the middle of a race.

As he tries to sleep, he can feel a ringing in his bones, the sound of something that’s not quite in the right place. His knee doesn’t hurt—not yet, but it’s only a matter of time. In the morning, he wakes with a start, shaking off the tendrils of dreams of times past. His doctor arrives bright and early, right on time. He can see the sense of resignation in the man’s eyes—a sense of something that’s almost pity. Haiji watches silently as the doctor gives his old injury one last check and hands him the painkillers.

He doesn’t expect anyone to have noticed the doctor, but perhaps he should have. Kakeru’s voice, in particular, is loud. Worried. Haiji tells them about the visit and assures them that painkillers are just in case. Kakeru’s eyes settle on his own. Haiji sees a kind of acceptance there—it’s different than the doctor’s resigned worry. He’s not sure if he’s reading more into Kakeru’s expression than he should, but to him he sees a look that speaks understanding.

As the race begins again, the knot of anxiety in his stomach tightens. It’s the second and last day. It’s the day the race ends. It’s the day his dream ends. It’s a day of endings. There’s an unsteadiness in his chest as he watches Yuki head down the slope, snow swirling in the background. Yuki flies down the mountain like a blizzard.

He watches Nico-chan senpai and King. He shares a short phone call with Kakeru, wondering what Fujioka could have said to make him sound like that. In the end, all Haiji can think of is the truth. The adrenaline of the day is already pumping through his veins, but his heart picks up a notch. To me, you are the greatest runner. (He only finds out from Joji later, much, much later that Kakeru says he’s in love after hanging up.)

When he watches Kakeru run, even just within the confines of his phone screen, he sees starlight like he always does. But this time, he sees something else too. There’s an air of tranquility. There isn’t a smile on his face, but Kakeru looks content, like he’s glowing with the kind of radiance that can only come from inside.

It isn’t long before he stands at the relay point. Waiting. His heart picks up its pace. The painkillers in his bloodstream silence any inklings of pain. He takes a deep breath in. It’s almost over. He exhales and Kakeru comes into view, the glow in his eyes a hundred times brighter than it was from the screen.

Kakeru runs, and he looks like something heaven sent. His form is beautiful and his speed is hardly human. Haiji blinks and he can almost see wings sprout from his back. (It doesn’t take him long to learn that Kakeru broke the record Fujioka set only eleven minutes prior.)

When Kakeru passes him the sash, he doesn’t say a word aloud but the smile on his face says enough. He passes Haiji the sash, and with it a wish of good luck. The sash is warm from Kakeru’s hands, and it feels heavier than just a piece of cloth. It’s the weight of the hopes of the other nine. But it doesn’t feel like weight. It feels like wings.

Haiji runs knowing this is the last time. He knows his body well enough, by now. He has heard the doctors tell him again and again that it’s only a matter of time. But as he runs, his chest feels light. It’s the final stretch of his dream. He only has a few more minutes left before he wakes, and it flies by. Even as he pushes his body toward the breaking point, he feels complete. Haiji runs toward the finish line. His broken pieces have been put back together and bound with veins of gold. He is whole. For the first time since long ago, he feels whole. And as Kakeru’s face comes into view once more, he knows why.

He smiles as he hurls himself forward. His leg is done for, and there’s some kind of comfort in knowing there’s no way to save it now. Even with the painkillers, his tendons are screaming in agony. He can feel the grinding of gears that no longer fit being forced to work. And yet he runs with a smile on his face. Runs straight forward, right across the finish line. Forward, forward, because he has finished one dream, but he sees the future in front of him—in the starlight at Kakeru’s feet, in the worried lines of his brow, in his arms that steady him as he finally comes to a halt.

It seems like mere instants. It seems like hours. The time he spends clinging to Kakeru passes in a whirlwind of emotion. There’s the elation of having finished the race. He had expected to be lost after he crossed the finish line, but he has never felt more at home than he does huddled against the cold pavement. His leg that he spent so many hours of torture to run with once again is in pieces, yet he has never felt more complete.

Tears sting the corners of his eyes. He blinks the first few back, but Kakeru murmurs you’re strong and you’re my reason for running within the same short breath, and the rest can’t be stopped.

Bonus:

The way home is long, and he spends most of it next to Kakeru. They’re all exhausted by the time the doors of Aotake are in sight once more. Nira greets them with an enthusiastic bark, and the most any of them can muster is a smile and a couple pats on the head. The building that’s usually bustling with activity during waking hours is quiet as they make they’re way to bed.

Kakeru dutifully brings Haiji to his room, unhooking his arm from around his shoulder as they reach the door. He mutters something about an ice pack and hurries out of sight. He appears again a minute later, this time with an ice pack in hand. Even after handing it to Haiji, he hesitates, making it obvious with his body language that he doesn’t want to leave. After a moment, Haiji takes pity on him. The door swings shut behind the two of them.

[rizzopd]

— ❝ wait is that DAVID HARBOUR ? or is that JOSEPH "JOE / JOEY" RIZZO who arrived in las vegas THIRTY-ONE YEARS AGO? HE is a FORTY-FOUR year old. last time i checked he was the CHIEF OF POLICE, LVMPD. rumour has it he's very TWO-FISTED and very BROODING. the CISMALE reminds me of SHAKE A LEG by ACDC.

hey ya’ll lmao. it’s ya girl cat, back w another shitty ass character bio (i play sloane too, in case u weren’t aware). hope u enjoy!

hailing from brooklyn, new york, rizzo was raised by an extremely italian, roman catholic family. we’re talking grandfather-straight-off-the-damn-boat from italy, might as well be a fuckin pepperoni italian. there, he lived in a compact two-story in the city with his grandfather, grandmother, mother, father and six aunts/uncles and older brother. he was youngest of all eight children (in conclusion: he’s baby and has been All Along). 

his grandfather had celiac disease that was misdiagnosed as paranoid schizophrenia due to time-appropriate lack of medical knowledge, and was thus continually hospitalized throughout joseph’s early life. though reportedly abusive during his episodes, joey disputes this as he was too young to remember. by age three, his aunt tessie died in an automobile accident.

at age six, his mother and father split. his father was heavily involved in the mob scene and often brought home “dirty money,” though he swore off gang-related activity in his early twenties at the insistence of julia, joe’s mother. with his mother working wherever, however and whenever she could to bring in money, he spent much time with his nonna ----- fellas, this man is a highkey certified Grandma’s Boy. he was nonna’s favorite. he would do everything with her; laundry, cooking, help take care of his grandfather, and she even taught him how to play piano (said it built character). with his grandfather on high doses of thorazine (anti-psychotic) by this point, all he could do is pace and smoke cigarettes.

by the age of 10, following in the foot steps of his father and uncles, joey was beginning to get into some bad shit of his own (they say they start younger and younger???? ya’ll need ta RECOGNIZE). when his grandmother found out, she vowed she’d beat him senseless unless he shook himself of his “demons.” he obeyed. as if to reinforce her point, his father was murdered by the mob for dishonesty/unpaid dues just before his thirteenth birthday. he, his mother and his brother relocated to las vegas for fear of being sought after.

in las vegas, joey had no problem making friends. in high school, joey turned to sports to help cope with his anger issues. he was captain of the boxing team.

after high school, joseph turned to law with the hopes of making his mother proud. he worked as a homicide detective for many years before earning the title of chief of police. he’s been the police chief for the last ten years.

joe is an honest man, and not very political. even so, earning the title of police chief came with its own set of trials and tribulations. having taken over office from the previous police chief, there is still a lot of corruption joey is currently trying to overrule. it has in turn made him very unpopular in the eyes of the wealthy. as a result, joey is left to choose between the lesser of two evils in order to maintain balance between classes: which sometimes entails a level of corruption of his own. in short, he is trying to keep from being a scullion to different political influences.

joe has a bad drinking problem. he went through a cocaine period in the 70s, but has since kicked the hard stuff. even so, he is constantly under scrutiny for his behavior. he was even investigated for using confiscated substances though the case trailed cold, and no verdict was ever reached. he maintains he has never once abused his power as a lawman.

joe is the kind to shove you into the wall and then kiss ur head afterwards if we’re being honest. he loves kids, but hates punkassery. as long as u respect him, he’s lenient

joe is brazen and rough around the edges. though short-tempered, he has a strong intuition that is usually dead on. when he finds a lead, he’s like a dog with a bone.

joe has been married exactly once. he has an estranged daughter who also lives in las vegas.

he’s a sagittarrius lmfao

he’s just :( Trying His Best ok :( (he not tho)

 wanted interactions (will be updated):

police informant: could be anyone tbh. what this would entail is one person (or could be several tbh, whoever’s interested) giving joe details about a specific situation (could be a drug distributing sitch, could be literally anything idc) in exchange for immunity. police informants were really popular in the 70s/80s especially (they’re still used today i believe? idk ya’ll i’m a pharm student tbh) and were especially useful in local cases. whoever is interested in this plot should know that their character would have to have been caught up in a situation that joe needs info on, and thus caught by him in order for this deal to be offered.

two foes, one common goal: again, could be anyone, but preferably someone in a position of power (doesn’t have to be political whatsoever, could be someone making a lot of money in something). this is a “you scratch my back, i’ll scratch yours” arrangement between two people who shouldn’t get along.

estranged daughter, caring dad: DOES NOT have to be a character made for this situation tbh. she doesn’t even have to have the same last name! just someone who would be interested having this ole gentle giant as their dad and allowing him to constantly bug you wanting to form a relationship. :”)

drinking buddy: this would be a type of situation where this person is always the last person at last call except for him. pros: this dude slowly opening up 2 u over time, like a lil flower :”) :”) :”)

that’s all i got, but i’ll update over time. thank u for reading i’m so sry this is trash i rly tried i have 3 brain cells luv u comment rate subscribe tahnks :) <3

[merryfortune]

Heaven Is Not A Place On Earth: Outline

This is a fic I’m never going to write but I do have it outlined to 89% completion, I figured that I would share it so interested parties could have a glimpse into what could have been~

my outline is a list which contains 100+ items so be careful when you open up the post. also, warnings for adultery, murder & character deaths

1.      Mieru divines the blessed army to lead against the Academia Invasion but also Zarc’s Scourge

2.      Reiji takes Reira from their room; Mieru muses on how its strange that the Queen wanted another child in the wake of Ray’s death

3.      The three of them are then joined by Tsukikage who brandishes his teleportation ARM

4.      The four arrive at a safe place for Reiji to conduct the Monban Pierrot ritual

5.      Whilst that is happening, Mieru passes the time by doing some fortune telling in order to divine what kind of person(s) the Legendary Hero is going to be; she has some light-hearted moments imagining a musclebound hero, a charming hero, but also anxieties about a hero being malevolent rather than beneficial to the army

6.      Yuya and Yuzu are summoned

7.      Mieru is Shaken™ because she’s had dreams about Yuya and done seances, trying to contact him and realises that Yuya is her soul mate

8.      Yuya talks about how his father went missing as a child and how his father would talk to him about Marchen before he went missing; Yuzu verifies

9.      Reiji has his suspicions especially since Yuya looks very similar to a travelling magician Reiji met once as a child prior to his father’s court being dissolved and his father escaping because of war crimes

10.  Their army grows from four to six and Reiji muses about how that means there are four members left to find

11. Reiji charts a course for them when Tsukikage receives a message from his brother talking about raids happening against them; he thinks it might be related to Zarc’s Scourge

12.  (spoilers, it’s not: its Shun & Yuto)

13.  Reiji hosts a meeting with the vassals and speak with victims of the scourge; he tells Mieru to look after their “guests” plus Reira

14.  Yuya and Yuzu are treated to some assimilation in the city to help them less stand out and also equip them with the necessary means to fight in this world given that they were summoned to be soldiers

15.  Yuzu gets separated from the group; she encounters Yuto

16.  Yuya gets separated from the group; he encounters Sora

17.  Shun picks a fight with Reiji when he separates from the group

18.  They get into a fight and Reiji remembers Mieru’s prophecy regarding the hunting bird and the dove

19.  Yuzu, Yuya, and Sora all meet up

20.  Mieru is panicking but eventually regroups with the others; Sora disappears afterwards and makes Suspicious Comments about Yuzu and Yuya being so friendly with a witch

21.  Yuya gets defensive and asks why Sora would say such cruel things about the crown princess of Keldea

22.  Sora goes :0 and then >:3 in reaction to that and then excuses himself

23.  Mieru has a reaction to that probably

24.  They rejoin with Reiji again who announces that they have a bird to hunt for sport

25.  Reiji vs Shun PART TWO, HELL YEAH

26.  Reiji wins and the peanut gallery – namely Yuya and Yuzu – are gobsmacked by how powerful those little trinkets are

27.  Shun is thoroughly defanged by the match and swears his allegiances because he knows now that Reiji is unaffiliated with Academia

28.  Shun joins the Lancers

29.  Reiji decides that their next course of action will be to recruit “the nobleman” but he has no idea who that is, but he has a sneaking suspicion that it’s the one nobleman that he can’t stand because Fates is Hashtag Like That

30.  So, he organises a meeting with said nobleman

31.  And his suspicions are proven correct

32.  Some sort of Sawatari side quest begins

33.  Yuya and Yuzu get a moment to shine/use their ARMs and it turns out that shit is way harder than the pros make it look

34.  Some sort of Sawatari side quest ends

35.  Army grows to eight: leaving only the spy, the defector, and the strongman

36.  Gongenzaka side quest begins

37.  Tsukikage and Mieru get the chance to have a Big Damn Heroes Moment inside of it, probably

38.  Yuto also probably reappears at some point to go “Shun, what the fuck?” and “oh, hi Yuzu, you look really pretty today”

39.  Gongenzaka side quest ends

40.  He, Yuzu, and Yuya get along really well

41.  Their movement begins to attract the attention of Academia

42.  Thus introducing Serena who wants to prove her worth but everyone’s like “oh kitten, not now, dearest” and she resents that

43.  Serena attempts to take the head of Prince Reiji

44.  She is inadvertently intervened by Yuzu who just wants some hash tag girl time with a girl she doesn’t loathe since Mieru is really not that subtle about her crush on Yuya

45.  Serena learns that Academia is… Not Good

46.  They split up??? IDK maybe Shun chases her off or something only to go “wait, shit, was that Ruri??”

47.  Serena’s bodyguard (what’s his face) tries to find her and bring her back

48.  Serena fends him off for a while but fails

49.  But luckily, it’s Reiji’s turn (again) for a Bid Damn Heroes moment and Serena is like “oh god, oh fuck, he’s kind of hot for a skinny prick”

50.  Reiji then successfully recruits Serena

51.  And also escalates Academia into progressing the war games

52.  Whilst that’s happening, Yuya is having an identity crisis because of Yuto

53.  And then Yugo shows up and that identity crisis doubles

54.  Zarc’s Scourge begins to… be a thing

55.  Anyway, Sora sorts them out and then flees when the rest of the Lancers who are capable of fighting turn up

56.  The following day people have no idea what’s going on

57.  And to make matters worse, Reiji receives a formal invite to the War Games

58.  The date has been chosen, and he’s looking at his army and they’re all dumbasses, so he has Mieru prepare a training trip for them

59.  Implied training montage

60.  And that brings us to the date of the War Games, so they head to the location of the War Games in the Citadol or whatever

61.  Introducing Melissa Claire to the scene; she’s going to be our host for the War Games

62.  They arrive and Reiji is lowkey stressed because they’re missing a member and they have no idea what’s going on

63.  But oh hey look, Dennis is here.

64.  Flashback establishing Dennis’ relationship with Reiji and Mieru as the royal court jester of Keldea

65.  Dennis “offers” to be the extra set of hands Reiji needs and Reiji is highkey suspicious, but you know what? Adult life is already so goddamn weird, this may as well happen

66.  Mieru has a dumbass moment here probably regarding Dennis

67.  Anyway, there’s a trumpet sequence and out come Sora, bouncing and happy, eating candy, saying hello to his dear friends Yuya and Yuzu but uh oh…

68.  He’s revealed to be a part of Academia’s entourage

69.  The Professor, The Tyler Sisters, Yuri, Edo, [name], a Brainwashed Rin and Ruri also appear

70.  Melissa begins to explain how the War Games will work

 The War Games will proceed until one side has lost more than half their players

 Losing players are killed or treated as though they have been killed

At some point, every member of the team has to have been on the field in the duel

 If a Captain (so Reiji or the Professor) loses then the War Games are over, no matter how premature but there is a ban on either of them entering the fray until at least day four.

A dice will decide which players fight and when

Environments for the duels are chosen “at random”

71.  And then she has a light bulb moment when she notices something remiss regarding Academia. Melissa points out that Academia technically doesn’t have players for the War Game

72.  The Professor smirks and says “They’re here, give them a moment”

73.  Dennis has a shifty moment

74.  Melissa declares the War Games feast open and that the matches will begin tomorrow

75.  Round 1: Sawatari vs Edo

76.  Sawatari astounds everyone and manages to win the match

77.  Round 2: Shun vs Sora

78.  Lancers win

79.  Round 3: Mieru & Dennis vs Yuri & Sora

80.  Dennis risks revealing himself to be the spy and aides Yuri and Sora by throwing the match

81.  Mieru loses and Reiji is like “oh shit, maybe I do have feelings for my fiancé, even though I have been technically cheating on her”

82.  Additionally, Reiji realises that “the spy” from Mieru’s prophecy is not a spy working for him, like he had hoped/otherwise thought

83.  Round 4: Shun and Tsukikage vs The Tyler Sisters

84.  Lancers win and the Tyler Sisters are severely punished for it

85.  Leo kills them in cold blood in front of everyone and it finally sinks in for Yuya and Yuzu that Marchen isn’t as fluffy as they thought it was

86.  Round 6: Gongenzaka vs Dennis

87.  Lancers win and Dennis, at least temporarily, kills himself off-screen but Gongenzaka finds his suicide note or equivalent

88.  Round 7: Serena vs [her old bodyguard]

89.  Round 8: Yuya & Yuzu vs Rin & Ruri

90.  Lancers win and manage to break the spell Rin & Ruri were under

91.  Shun and Ruri have a heartfelt reunion

92.  Reiji steps in before anything can happen to Rin, so she finds asylum with the lancers

93.  Rin is amnesiac now??? Maybe???

94.  Final Round: Reiji & Yuya vs The Professor & Yuri

95.  Lancers win and Reiji goes to murder Leo and Yuya is like “bitch what the fuck, you can’t kill him, he’s your father”

96.  And Reiji’s like “well I have to; he broke one of the most important laws of Keldea

97.  Reiji proceeds to kill Leo in front of Yuya

98.  Yuya goes berserk

99.  Reiji has an “oh shit” moment

100.                      Yuri, who was barely standing, also goes berserk

101.                      Reiji realises there is an unexpected element in his father’s plan: it wasn’t just total domination of Keldea and Marchen, there was something else which even Reiji didn’t know about and it’s too late now to ask him what his goal is because he’s a corpse

102.                      Yuzu manages to calm Yuya

103.                      Serena manages to calm Yuri

104.                      The War Games are over, but Reiji still needs to quell Zarc’s scourge, especially since something is Wrong

105.                      Rin tells him about Yugo and Reiji begins to wonder

106.                      Four boys; four girls: Zarc and Ray – is it all connected? Can it all be connected?

107.                      He and Mieru have a deep and meaningful on the topic

108.                      Yugo returns to plot somehow???

109.                      Stuff happens???

110.                      Final confrontation with Yu-Boys vs Yu-Girls

111.                      Ray resurrects via Reira somehow

112.                      Zarc is defeated

113.                      Relationships are somehow resolved

114.                      Happily ever after :)

[geminisemotions-blog]

Struggles with ADD

I feel like going crazy. I feel like my mind is playing games with me to get me down, and hold me there as long as possible. Maybe it's the stress, maybe I'm putting too much pressure on myself or maybe I do have a problem. I can't even think of words right now that describe my feelings, I suck ass at expressing my feelings, but if I don't learn how to do that I might explode. Everytime I sit down to study, as dump as it sounds, I just can't get myself to start. I am scared of starting because I know it will turn out with me crying and having a mental breakdown. When I'm sitting in class it's like there's a wall in my brain that keeps information, important information, from reaching my brain. No matter how hard I'm trying to concentrate on what the teacher and my classmates say...I hear the words, but they won't reach my brain which leads to me not understanding what is going on. Everything seems so foggy and unclear. Like some cloudy layer covering my brain...or sth like that. This again leads to me getting frustrated with myself, even hating myself, for how dump and idiotic I am. Like I'm neither able to complete simple tasks nor a little harder ones. In English today, I struggled to find the most easy words. Words and explanations that I KNOW. Of course my teacher had to pick me, and I just didn't get a word out. He's my favourite teacher and I've always gotten along with him, so why is it that he kept picking on me throughout the whole lesson. He noticed I was off today, and I kept wondering what he must've thought of me. If I'm just lazy today, or too tired (which I was) and I felt humiliated. Maybe he tried helping me by constantly giving me another chance of answering his questions. But it didn't help me at all. I kept thinking of what the others must've thought of me in that moment, I just couldn't help it. I went to the bathroom because I had to calm myself...because I had to hold back my tears...because I felt like a mental breakdown was about to take over me. I calmed down, but felt like shit. I got home, fell asleep for two hours because I just wanted to make it stop, I just wanted to relax. Of course I had to dream about my English teacher, once again picking on me. I wasn't even able to complete his tasks in my damn dream, and after he told me "If you wanna go home and cry that's fine" I woke up, already on the verge of tears the second my eyes opened.

It's so easy to hang out with my friends and play down my frustration, laugh at it and just act like I'm not panicking inside. Acting as if I'm not overwhelmed by every mildly inconvenient situation I get myself in. I am frustrated with myself. Myself only. Much egocentric.

I'm supposed to study japanese. And no, it's not an excuse. It's not that I don't want to study, I really really want to study. I want to achieve my goals, and I did have a lot of moments that made me proud for recognizing words or characters. I want to achieve the good grades. For once, I want to be successful, and proud. I want to make my parents proud, and I don't want to be a waste of money. Everytime I have to ask my mom for money, especially school money, I just feel so guilty. They have already spent so much money on me for things that I messed up or that I wanted. This time, if I fail this school, I have no idea how I'm gonna be able to live with myself.

I've thought of seeing a doctor in order to maybe get some medication or at least a diagnosis and some tips on how to deal with ADD. But why is it that I struggle so hard, but other people who have that don't. My parents, or at least one of them has it. According to the doc who treated my sister, it runs in the family, it's a genetic thing.

But my parents don't seem to care, or think it's an actual problem. The last time I went to my mom and talked about this issue, she just told me to get a grip. She just asked what the doctor's supposed to do about it. That it's unnecessary and something you can deal with by just eating healthy and doing sports. I must admit it helps a little, but not a lot and not over a long period of time.

Few months after our talk I failed math and was forced to leave school, and I still deep down think that I deserved it.

Now it's the first time since then where I'm really really struggling with this again...I guess that's why I'm so hella scared. And frustrated. And depressed.

The anxiety is eating me up, I can't clear my mind, I don't know how to do anything

I can't stop feeling like shit. Like I'm just making everything up in my mind, and I'm scared of every damn exam I still have to take. Fuck I'm scared of the damn presentation I have to do for my damn English teacher, who is going to ask me damn questions after my presentation infront of the whole class, in the same week as my 3 exams, one of them being economics.

Not only do I feel like a bad student or daughter...I feel like a bad friend. A bad human being in general.

Depressing thoughts and self hate are toxic. Before you know it, they have already poisened your whole brain.

I am gifted with the best people I could ever have in life, but I'm not even able to show how much they mean to me. Almost everyday I'm thinking of things I wanna do to show my best friend how much I appreciate her, but I don't know how. I don't know how to pay her back. Not only the money she has helped me with, but also her gestures and the care she has showed me.

Only thinking about it makes me wanna cry. I don't want to give her the impression that I take her for granted.

Am I overthinking?

I don't know. What I know is that I get random outbursts of tears and I feel weak for being that way.

I just feel like I'm going crazy. I guess I'm overreacting, but I don't know how to stop, how to control my thoughts.

There are times it gets better, and times it gets worse.

Right now it's pretty bad, it's actually never been worse.

Some don't struggle at all, not even noticing it. Some struggle from time to time a little, and some don't only have concentration deficit...but they get side symptoms.

Mental issues that come along with it, people who really struggle with this usually have other health problems as well.

I've been reading several studies, articles and opinions from people that are affected.

Not to be jumping to conclusions too fast, but that all explained a lot about me. Like, I could relate to so much, not just like "Yeah I know that". But more like yes I live with that, I live with those thoughts, I struggle with the way I view myself.

I've thought about letting my boyfriend read this, but everytime I'm trying to collect some courage I back out.

I'm scared. To show anyone. Idk why. What if he thinks it's stupid? I wouldn't be able to take that. I already think I am stupid.

What if he doesn't believe me ? Or doesn't care? It seems so stupid, I'm his girlfriend. But I can't help having anxiety attacks.

It's already so hard to keep a straight/normal face infront of him. I feel happy with him, but at the same time I don't and there are so many moments I just want to cry. Lately, especially at night while trying to fall asleep. That stage is dangerous because you start to think too much.

I wouldn't be able to handle it. Him seeing me differently, or not taking me seriously, or even treating me differently.

On the other hand, I don't know for how long I can keep hiding. I guess the day will come where I just start crying out of nowhere and he'll sit there shocked & confused.

I don't want anyone to see me crying.

February, 2019

[kippentrash]

31 days of Andi Mack day 16

Day 16. If the characters were youtubers who would they be and why?

Okay so I’m not sure if that meant who or WHAT would they be, but I’m going with the what would they be. A lot of them have so many options, so if I have too many ideas for them I’ll just mention 2 at MOST. In no particular order...

I don’t really know what else you would want to put Jonah as. He’s canonically an ultimate frisbee player and canonically makes ultimate frisbee videos. He’s even almost ditched Andi before in order to be a part of a video with a famous player. So he’d clearly be something frisbee related as a YouTubers. Is it already canon that he posts frisbee trickshot videos? Because I feel like it is and if it isn’t, it should be soon. He’d totally be showing off his frisbee skills and proving to the world how docious magocious frisbee is, and honestly some of the coolest sport videos are the trickshot videos, so that’s how he’d be adding to the sport’s popularity. 

Actually, I take that back. The only other thing I can see him doing is doing covers online once he starts playing music more often. Considering Asher already does make covers, I don’t see why Jonah wouldn’t eventually if he starts making music one of his passions rather than just a calming hobby.

Otherwise, I feel like Bowie would be doing covers. He is a musician afterall. While he does give lessons for music, I don’t really think he’d be doing music tutorials online mainly because I think YouTube would be more of his outlet rather than a platform.He’s able to teach kids in real life, so he doesn’t really need to use YouTube to do that even more. It’d be like his break. Especially considering he probably won’t be going around with the band anymore now that he’s engaged to Bex and knows he has Andi as his daughter, the only other way he would be able to perform apart from smalltown venues or karaoke places would be on the internet. I’m sure he’ll get a good amount of viewers considering he was a part of the Renaissance Boys and they seemed to be getting a good amount of popularity if their tour was anything to go by.

Andi is another easy one, have you SEEN the Andi Shack? You just k n o w she’d be doing all those amazing DIY tutorials to teach everyone how to make these cool crafts. Especially considering how “easy” the expensive things are to make, she could probably help a lot of people learn to make their own things and would be really excited to see how many people she’s helped make things for themselves or their friends, oand even happier to learn about people she would inspire to make cool creative things! I’m pretty sure Disney Channel had released an Andi Mack DIY video in the past as promotion for the show with making a bike chain or something into a bracelet, so she’d definitely be showing people how to turn everyday objects into cool crafts. Being able to help people turn their trash into cool things to reduce their carbon footprint would probably be the goal of her channel to be honest.

For Bex, I think it’d have something to do with Make-Up, but I don’t think it’d be tutorials. Again, I really don’t think most of the characters are tutorial type of people. While I could see Andi being a tutorial person since she’d be happy to be helping others become more environmentally conscious while helping them create cool things, I think Bex would also want this as a break from thinsg and want to use this as a personal outlet. But instead of doing covers and showing herself just wearing makeup or something, I feel like she’d be doing make-up reviews. You know, those things saying whether or not a brand was worth it or not. She could be really ruthless about whether or not it was good for the price being paid for it and give other alternatives which would be just as good, and she may even get stuff from her work to use or get things sent TO her to test out on her clients and then review. I just feel like being honest about judgement of a product would click well with Bex, idk why I just do.

I don’t want to let so many people do tutorials, and I don’t think Walker really seems like the tutorial type of guy anyway, so I would say Walker would be doing one of two (or maybe 3 i dunno) things. One thing I can see him do is doing speedpaints or speed drawings, showing the process he takes to create something. That’s really all he’d need to do, because his pieces are always so nice, I think anyone would be dying to watch how it came together and what his process was. Speedart would just be an extension of what he’s already doing, just it’d be on camera instead. Otherwise, it’d be one of those aesthetically pleasing paint related videos, whether it be watching watercolors come together when doing a painting or watching him mix paint together. Because those are really really nice to watch and extremely satisfying, and idk his personality just is really calming and cool and go with the flow in a way that I just feel like it fits the aesthetic of watching paint mix together. Whichever he does, though, it’s definitely going to be art related. I just think it’d be really cool to watch one of Walker’s pieces come together, since it was so fun to watch him and Andi paint together in A Walker to Remember.

I don’t know why, I just feel like Cyrus would be one of those YouTubers who create a variety of content.  

I can imagine him doing vlogs with his friends, because he just loves showing them off so much and would have fun just showing them having fun. Or he’d like to participate in a variety of challenges and see if he’s able to do it or play a bunch of silly games with his friends and show the world. Or he’d do well at just giving advice to people or even just informing them about what’s going on in the world today (yes, this is in reference to @persongoingfast‘s News in a Rush) or just relaying nice information to make someone’s day.

I also could consider him someone who makes scripted videos on YouTube, since after the video stuff he did back in the previous seasons he was pretty into being behind the scenes when it came to making videos. They would be a mix of short and fun or long and developed and fun to follow along, if he can get his script writing down in a non-cringey way. Or in a cringey way, there’s always something cool about watching something that’s just the strangest mess. But if he’s able to properly script videos, I can see him doing videos that are both entertaining and eye-opening or subtly informational and have a lot of thought put in it.

I can see him doing something like Thomas Sanders, where it’s just a mix of vlogs, shorts, informational videos, scripted videos, challenges, etc. just depending on what he has time to fit in his schedule. 

I feel like even though Buffy isn’t shown to play video games much in the show, her competitive nature would make it fun to watch her game. I think that it’d just be really fun to watch her react to winning games or losing them or figuring them our or frustrated, and it’d just be really interesting to see how she’d do at different types of games. She’s also a very outspoken person and isn’t afraid to give her opinion on things, so it’d be cool to watch her give commentary if or when she were to ever play games in which you have a more developed lore integrated into it. I just think it’d be neat.

Explanations are getting shorter and shorter. Oof. But for TJ, I think he’d be one of those guys who like to go around doing creative yet harmless pranks on others. Maybe it’s just because he’s such a little troll, or maybe I’m thinking of Luke more than I’m thinking of TJ, but I think it’d do him good to be able to laugh more with a bunch of strangers he’d harmlessly prank. I could also see him getting the kids at his daycare excited to help him out with a prank or something like that.

Amber, I’ve got to say I’d give her fashionista for sure, so something like a fashion vlogger or a YouTuber giving fashion tips and hacks. You see in season 2 when she tries to be friendly with Andi that she’d like to go shopping if she had money, and I just get the vibe she’s pretty good when it comes to picking out her outfits and holding up her appearance. Plus, she’s rocking the whole choker look, so I just like the idea that she’d be spreading knowledge about how to style. Eespecially if you consider the fact she had to sell a bunch of her clothes, she needs to have other ways to make sure to stay trendy, and she’d share that with the world and others who needed to make the best style of what simple clothes they had.

I’m not sure what I’d put Marty as, but I think he’d make a good reaction channel. Sort of like Buffy, he’s pretty outspoken and he’s got a fun and quirky personality like Cyrus, so I think it’d just be fun to watch him react to a variety of video types or a variety of shows and movies and games and things of the like. He might give reviews on whatever it is he’s seen, since again like Buffy he’s pretty good at sharing his ideas straightforward. He also is able to come up with witty remarks and comebacks which would be fun for him to make in the middle of reacting to something. And I just wanted to include him on the list.

[bethesdaglitch]

1-70 do em all! 😁💙

I’m seriously so sorry this took so long, but it was so much fun!! thank you!!! Also it’s super long so I’m gonna put it under a readmore!

1. First game you played obsessively?

Jak & Daxter! 2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc.Lmao I’m not exactly a creative person, but when I was little I tried coming up with and drawing my own pokemon. They were… bad3. Who did you play with as a kid?My brother! At first I stole his Gameboy Color whenever he wasn’t using it, but then he saved up and bought a PS2 so we could play games together4. Who do you play with now?No one really lol. I kinda prefer to play single-player games now? But I’ll play with various friends when we hang out.5. Ever use cheat codes?When I was little, yeah! Especially in the Sly Raccoon games 6. Ever buy strategy guides?Before the age of unlimited free online strategy guides I did, now I just use said online ones7. Any games you have multiple copies of?Yep, I’ve “lost” games only to find them again after replacing them like… four times? It happened with Oblivion, Fable 3, DA: Origins, and, weirdly enough, that one obscure (but fun imo!) wii game, Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection?This one was hard! After a teeny bit of research, I narrowed it down to either Rule of Rose, LoZ Collector’s Edition on Gamecube, and pokemon red and yellow9. Most regrettable purchase?Hhhhhhhh I bought the video game for the 2006 Dreamworks movie Over the Hedge. I was only 12, but I still should’ve known better :(10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours?I’ve gone to a few midnight releases, but none that have lasted for hours, luckily. I only started going to them in the last few years, so the only ones I’ve been to so far are Fallout 4, DA:I and uh… ME:A (I KNOW)11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games?Nah not really, I don’t play online games, so. I have friends who play video games, but I’ve never met someone BECAUSE of video games12. Ever get picked on for liking games?Lol no?13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has?Overwatch14. Favorite game music?NIER, hands down. 15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick?Probably something cute and harmless like the leaf from Animal Crossing lol16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL?Lately we’ve been really into Towerfall: Ascension and Screencheat17. Ever lose a friend over a game?Wh—no????18. Would you date someone that hates gaming?So long as they didn’t try to “forbid” me from playing and so long as we had other interests to bond over, then sure. It’d be kind of a bummer though lol19. Favorite handheld console?Idk that I have one! Maybe the Switch, since that’s the most recent and popular?20. Game that you know like the back of your hand?Silent Hill 3 and DA:I21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now?The Civilization games22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories?Sometimes, yeah. Nothing too embarrassing, though. 23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into?What, like… ever?? Geez, I dunno… probably Oblivion?24. First Pokemon game?Yellow!25. Were you ever an arcade game player?I actually wasn’t really :/26. Ever form any gaming rivalries?Oh yeah, with my brother. He’s 6 years older than me, which pretty much guaranteed I got my ass kicked in every game we played when I was younger27. Game that makes you rage?Bloodborne and Dark Souls!!!!!! I swear I try to go back and play them at least once a year, and I can never get past the first hour :(28. Ever play in a tournament?Not like an official one, but ones with friends, yep29. What is your gaming set up?Imma be real with you chief I don’t know nearly enough about computers to answer this question with anything other than “a computer”30. How many consoles do you own?Ohohoho far too many31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches?I’ve never had the 3D slider up long enough to tell, but that probably means yes lol32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic?BOY when I was in first grade I played Spongebob: Supersponge on Gameboy advance so much I STILL remember the password that lets you skip to the final stage (it’s WMBT) 33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games?nah 34. Do either of your parents play video games?PFFF GOD NO. Although my mom does love Animal Crossing. Not playing it, but just like it’s whole deal. 35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop?No and no, tbh36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game?I… don’t think so? Maybe I’ve cried over a game, but blood?? Put the controller down, y’all37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination?NO NO NO OVER THE HEDGE (2006) FOR THE PS2 IS THE SINGLE WORST GAME EVER MADE FIGHT ME ON THIS38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like?Oh lord… idk if anyone’s ever played any of Ambition’s dating sims (Dream Girlfriend, Dream Boyfriend, Animal Boyfriend, and Moe Can Change) but I’ve literally been playing them for about… 5-ish years now? They’re seriously the worst, I fucking love them 39. A sequel that you would die for them to make?Hmm… Maybe a new Kingdoms of Amalur game would be cool? 40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls?I love VR but the last time I tried it at a friend’s place I fucking faceplanted after leaning on a counter I forgot was also virtual and the first thing my friend asked was whether the headset was ok, so that stung. As for motion controls, they’re fun but they can be a real pain41. A genre that you just can’t get into?Sports games 42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness?The path to what43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else?Oh yeah, who hasn’t?44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters?Idk if this counts but I am a MASTER at the claw machine and that stacker game. My closet is full of useless shit I’ve won from those things45. How are you at Mario Kart?OH SO FUCKING GOOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon?yesssss I love them47. Do you like competitive games?I mean like I said, I mostly prefer single-player games, but I do enjoy the occasional co-op game48. How long does it take your to customize your player character?about an hour49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character?I actually don’t! If it’s a game I’m not confident I’ll be good at, I pick whichever class is recommended for beginners, and that changes from game to game. Alternatively, I just go through phases where I prefer a specific class above others 50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create?Christ I have no idea. Maybe a first-person escape game? idk51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep?NO?? DAMN ARE Y’ALL OK????52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid?Literally any M game; my parents were strictly “No M games until you’re old enough!” I just got my brother to buy them most of the time though lol53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days?Most DLC is fine, it’s microtransactions in “pay-to-win” games that I fucking hate. 54. Do you give in to Steam sales?HAHAHAHAHA yeah absolutely 55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them?N-No??? 56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests?Ok yeah I did do that 57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements?Ew no58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick?Ooooh… ok, Oblivion, My Time in Portia, and Divinity 259. Do you play any cell phone games?I do! I play a lot of escape games, and uh… the Ambition games mentioned previously60. Do you know the Konami Code?Is that the up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A? Huh, I never knew it had a name!61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever?I used to trade them in occasionally, but mostly I keep them 62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game?Yeah the Switch for BotW. Not proud of it, but it was worth it63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament? nah64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming?Yep! 65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file?OHHHH MY GOD YEAH, I’M STILL FUCKING PISSED ABOUT IT. I had GameShark for Gameboy and PS2, but that one was fine, it didn’t cause any problems. It was ACTION FUCKING REPLAY that fucked me over. I used it for KH2 and it worked the whole time until literally THE VERY LAST XEMNAS FIGHT, when my HP bar suddenly dropped to 1??? Not my HP, mind you, the HP BAR. Meaning 1 HP was the most I could have. Literally fuck action replay >:( 66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it?nope67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share?I do! The very first thing I ever saved up money for to buy myself was Pokemon Crystal version. Until then I’d just been borrowing (re:stealing) my brother’s, but when I was 5 and Crystal was about to come out, my parents made me a deal that if I saved up $15, they’d pay the other $15 and I could get it! It was the first time I was working towards a fun goal, so it was all pretty exciting for 5-year-old me lol. It’s dumb, I know, but it’s something I look back on fondly68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool?Lol nah, I think the best thing I ever got with tickets was a cheap snowglobe 69. In your opinion, best game ever made? UHHHH GOD. That’s… super tough. I’m genuinely not sure I have an answer tbh. I’m really into Divinity 2 right now but best game ever made?? Idk! that’s a hard one!!!! 70. Very first game you ever beat? I won’t lie, it was Spongebob: Supersponge on GBA

[local-raccoon]

#VD9suitcontest entry!!

Ahhhhhhh I made a few of them bc they just kept pooling in my head. It’s kind of embarassing bc they go from “hmm yeah” to “im trying and failing” and justttttttttttttttttttttt  wanted to made them and thats it lol.

Under the cut bc It’s just too much!!

Check out the super cool zine @bnhavillaindeku-zine is making!! The staff is hella cool and the rewards are hella amazing. They all deserve the world and more (!!!!!)  This thingy is for their suit contest in which we gotta design Izuku’s villain suit.

The links are here!! Pre orders end on September 9, you still have a few days left!!!  Go go goooo!!  PO’s page || Shop page

❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖

The modern ninja.

Hoodie – A simple black hoodie. He wears a bullet-proof vest underneath it.

Pants – Loose fitting pants for mobility and just being comfortable.

Knee guards, arm guards and gloves – The three of them are police-standard. He got them from an actual police gear shop. They are pretty simple but useful.

Throwing knifes – He has a great bunch of them, was inspired by Stain to use them… and to mock him too.

Mask – It’s so totally not a mask, just a too long scarf that got mutilated once or twice. It has an awfully drawn smiley face that is supposed to be mocking All Might’s.

Boots – The only difference with the knee and arm guards is that he painted them red. He loved his red shoes, you see. They are pretty heavy, too.

 Au background (or whatever this is)

A world where Izuku got tired of being treated like garbage and decided to take the matter onto his hands. At first, he was just a vigilante, leaving alone the heroes and having a little bit of hope that they were different. He was wrong. Once it became clear to him that most heroes where almost as bad as villains, he began to target heroes too.

He’s a sneaky rat. His tolerance levels went down to 0. This Izuku is aggressive, sassy and petty af. He’s done with everyone’s bullshit and the only person he tolerates at this point is his mother.

He might or might not be affiliated with the league. Maybe he doesn’t trust them much, but they are useful, too. (He might or might not have a quirk too.)

His costume mocks All Might, Eraserhead, Stain and the Police, bc he’s a lil shit.

He is always ready to fight and set the world on fire.

--------------- I think villain Izuku would go for a more useful oufit than a flashy, interesting one. (but at the same time i disagree with myself) sO The point in this suit was to make it out from stuff you can get from actual shops. I don’t know if it happens everywhere or my hometown is weird, but in here there are shops where you can get actual military gear, excluding the guns, ofc, but you can go full militar gear and it’s... a bit expensive but not too much. So i was thinking Izuku (or anyone, really) could do just that and nobody would bat an eye???

and even if they did, there are some places that cell construction gear and they work almost the same as military gear. U can get some nice and sturdy knee guards and it would be totally normal.

In this AU idk if Izuku is with the league or not, if he has a quirk or not, but i’m inclined to think he actually does both. And is a villain mostly out of spite and revenge.

❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖

(see how they go from hmmm to uhgggg)

The bartender. (aka the one i gave most though)

Hair – Gelled to the side and tamed to the best of his abilities.

Shirt – A normal white dress shirt. Has tons of them ironed and ready to use. Rolls the sleeves up so they don’t get stained or in the way.

Pants – A pair of black slacks. Has tons of them too, they are surprisingly comfy.

Shoes – Moccasins. All black and meticulously cleaned. They shine.

Appron – Part of the bar’s uniform. Nothing special.

Gloves – Black leather fire resistant gloves with red palms. Used to hide the scars in his hands. (I really liked V!D9 Izuku’s gloves, didn’t have the heart to change them)

Scars – Has a lot of them on his arms and back.

 Background/whatever.

Midoriya Inko is dead. It was the heroes fault but no one would believe the ‘traumatized child’ it happened. Izuku is sent to a quirkless orphanage and develops a passive-aggressive personality. He makes a plan and starts working to make it reality. He’s never actually adopted, even if he does have some interviews, he’s just not interested. So he stays with the old man that takes care with of the orphanage and sees how the world is even crueler than he initially thought. The old man sees the way he is being silently consumed by his rage and hatred, tries to help but somehow they end up having similar ideals and turn into something like partners in crime. The old man says he’s “too old to actually give a damn”.

 He opens a business with the old man’s help and the money left to him from his mother. It’s a simple café in the day and a bar in the night. It’s pretty small and totally average. The only thing that catches attention are two plates in the front door that say “Quirkless welcome” and “Uniforms not allowed”.  He doesn’t allow anyone in uniform inside his business. No heroes, no villains, no police officers. Of course, people try to give him shit because of this but he knows the laws and that, legally speaking, he’s not doing anything wrong. Nobody can touch him.

 Izuku is more like an informant type of villain. This doesn’t mean he can’t take care of himself, of course, your biggest mistake will ever be to underestimate him for his looks. He focuses on getting information and working it on how ever it favors him. He isn’t afraid of going against other villains nor heroes. Not even the League. It takes him some time but he manages to set up his own network, getting information on both heroes and villains. The first thing he does is to expose all the heroes that where involved with Inko’s death.

Nobody really knows he’s the one to get the information, though. They think he’s just The Bartender, the messenger. What could a useless, quirkless nobody do, anyways?

 He takes his status of quirkless and uses it to his advantage with the best of his capabilities. Anything to fulfill his goal.

 The worst kind of villain are those who actually use their brains, after all.

-------------------- Escentially, my entry on the “Villain Izuku with an actual suit” trope. Initially, i though of him being something like Kurogiri’s partner, they both would make plans and make sure no one mess up. But then i though “Izuku would be totally capable of doing this all on his own. He just needs the right motivation.” and what better motivation than hate and having nothing else to lose.

An i really like bartender’s outfits lol.

I also headcanon that this Izuku knows how to use an unexpected amount of fire arms. (guns, rifles, shotgus, etc) and would never hesitate to shoot a bih. But i didn’t have the time to draw him with them (guns are hard ot draw!!) so i’m just leaving it here :/, hoping it somehow counts.

This Izuku is actually quirkless, everything he does is thanks to his brain. He learned how to break apart both information and people. bC I THINK IZUKU COULD DO IMPRESSIVE THINGS WITH OR WITHOUT A QUIRK.

/breathes/

❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖ 

The Street fighter.

Hoodie – A green plain hoodie. Used to hide his body and just how buff he is.

Face mask – Cheap and with little probabilities of it falling off or untying.

Loose pants – Easy to move in.

Knee pads – For support and protection. They are just normal Knee pads.

Sneakers – A pair of comfy and durable sport sneakers. The little short absorption they have is good enough.

Bandages – His hands are bandaged in the same way of a boxer’s. He is seen with constant injures on his face because he is a street fighter. His arms are scarred because of fights too.

Hairstyle – Has an undercut and dyed hair. Usually, he dies the top black and leaves the roots green, sometimes dyes it all black. Changes them constantly so people won’t be able to relate him with Inko.

 Bakcground:

Not much to say. I just wanted to draw him as a street fighter.

He ran away/got kidnapped at a not-so-young age (10-12???) Didn’t saw a reason to go back/didn’t want to be found so he learned how to fend for himself and fight. Works in an underground fight center as both a fighter and information broker. He’s fast on his feet, even without a quirk, and can pack a punch strong enough to knock someone out in seconds. Specializes in speed and precision. It’s better to know where to punch and how hard that just punching mindlessly.

 Always parkour’s his way out of bad situations. The most frustrating villain/vigilante the police has dealt with. Has personal issues against Eraserhead because he’s the only one that can almost match his pace.

------------------

I JUST WANTED TO DRAWN HIM AS A BRAWLER HASJDHAJSDHASD

He’s part of another villain group and quirkless. He fights with only kicks, punchs and sTREET SMARTS(!!!!). Parkoúr is a thing. He probably breakdances too, bc he can. A kind of-free man living the live as a thug.

Idk what else to add here. Maybe just that i got inspired with the sneakers lmao lOOK AT THEM IM PROUD. they came out way better than i was expecting. The pose too, how did that even happened.

❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖ 

SO THATS ALL. Thank you for coming to my pep talk/whatever this is.

Pls buy a copy. it’s a very cool zine. Here are the links again:  PO’s page || Shop page 

Uhhhhhhhhhhh.  Yeah, bye.

[zimmerdouche]

This is something I’ve had saved on my computer since like June but I still have a lot of thoughts about the Poindexter family.

I forget where it was I read this, and whether it was actually canon or not, but effectively it said that the entire Samwell Hockey Team came from a place of privilege because hockey is an expensive sport.

Consider: Dex is a multiple. More specifically, a triplet. Three kids going to college at once? And that money related stress, piled on since birth? Save your money, Poindexter, because even though you aren’t that bad off you aren’t the only one that needs tuition and equipment.

I know Ngozi tweeted about Dex only having an older brother but let me have this.

Let’s talk more about the Poindexter triplets.

Wyatt Joseph Poindexter

The youngest triplet. Laid back, big thinker, just wants everyone to get along.

He grew a beard after high school because he was so. Fucking. Tired. Of being mistaken for his older brother. He’s only an inch shorter and everyone called them the Weasley twins, there needed to be a change.

Poster Boy for the rustic hipster aesthetic. Plaid shirts with the sleeves rolled up, ripped jeans, knit beanie, Timbs, occasionally suspenders? Plus a beard? Actual Lumberjack Wyatt Poindexter.

At the University of Maine majoring in Communication Sciences and Disorders with a minor in music. He’d like to focus on music education for the hard of hearing.

Fluent in American Sign Language. (He is the Number One Fan of Holly Maniatty, interpreter at hip hop concerts.) Can also stumble his way through casual conversation in French.

L o v e s music and will listen to any genre. Literally any, but he especially loves stuff that he can play on his guitar, and artists like John Mayer, Jack Johnson, Brett Dennen, Counting Crows, so on and so forth. He loves listening to lyrics and dissecting meaning and context, and will write his own lyrics on occasion.

He was a sprinter in high school and was pretty good but chose not to continue in college even though a few schools showed interest.

Gay and demisexual. He came out after his freshman year, after a lot of soul searching, meditation, and GSA meetings, to his siblings, whose collective response was “oh shit me too, thank God.”

Drives a truck older than he is with a bench seat and a paint job that’s mostly rust. He hot boxes it regularly and honestly? A big Triplet Bonding Event, especially after the Poindexters start college, is driving out to the middle of nowhere at midnight with snacks and drinks and weed and smoking in the bed of the truck, looking at the stars, and talking about life.

Group chat: has it on Do Not Disturb because his siblings never shut up. Will occasionally interject with one liners. Sends Snapchat screenshots of himself looking Bored as Fuck in any lecture that isn’t directly related to his career path and also plaid related memes.

Winona Jane “Ryder” Poindexter

The second oldest/middle triplet and the only girl. Fiercely protective and stubborn. Will kick your ass. Will kick everyone’s ass. Will kick her own ass.

Everyone calls her Ryder (like, Winona Ryder, the actress) because she absolutely despises the name Winona. The number one way to piss her off is to call her Winona, or God forbid, Winnie (Will does it when he wants her attention. She threatens murder).

Also at UMaine, studying bioengineering. Her ultimate goal is to lead a research team focused on artificial organs, but she has also considered becoming a professor. She’d be a great lecturer because she tends to ramble.

A thrift store fiend with a need to look like she came straight from the nineties. She likes mom jeans, denim in general, crop tops, Chuck Taylors, and UMaine athletic wear. She also steals her brothers’ flannel shirts.

She was on the color guard in high school and continues to be on the color guard in college. She’s damn good at it too. Can do some basic gymnastics/tumbling, but the back handspring is about as fancy as she can go. Damn good at dancing in general. She also loves to swing dance, and while she couldn’t get Wyatt into it she managed to get Will to dance with her and he enjoys it much more than he’ll ever let on.

Her freshman spring semester she took a video editing class and part of the class was start a YouTube channel so that she could upload assignments to it. She chose to do a vlog channel and she titled it “Ryder Die,” and she just kinda stuck with it after the class ended. Will and Wyatt make regular guest appearances.

Lives for Spongebob related memes. It’s a problem. Wyatt had to ban her from showing Spongebob memes in the car because she would try to show him like one every three minutes while he was driving.

Bisexual as fuck and... uncomfortably open about her sex life. Ryder, your brothers do not want to know about that. Stahp.

Group chat: Ryder’s contact names from both of her brothers are just various Winona Ryder characters. She’ll purposely call Wyatt Will and Will Wyatt. “Guys how does this outfit look?” (30 seconds later) “Why am I asking you two I look fantastic”

William Jacob “Will” “Dex” Poindexter

The oldest triplet. High strung, reserved, very loyal and very protective, even more so than his sister.

His siblings call him Will, Samwell Men’s Hockey calls him Dex. His siblings will probably never call him Dex, it’s just weird. Do you call your brother by his last name? Why would you? You have the same last name!

Studying computer science/engineering at Samwell University.

Does the guy own anything that ISN’T plaid? Yes, he does, but you wouldn’t know it by looking at him. God, does he look like his brother.

Can stumble his way through a few songs on the guitar and can carry a tune better than his brother, (“Fuck you, Will! You’re not even going into music!”) but refuses to sing in public. He may hum, if you’re lucky.

Defensemen on the Samwell Men’s Hockey team.

Left handed so, basically, if Wyatt didn’t have a beard, they’d be completely mirrored. They are identical, after all.

Bisexual with a pretty strong male preference.

Group chat: Bickers with Ryder a lot, usually if he instigates conversation it’s to complain about his defense partner Derek Nurse. He does this often enough that Ryder suspects they’re dating. Once, when they were actually getting along, he sent a selfie and Ryder’s response was, of course, a Spongebob meme – “OH NO HE’S HOT!”

These three together? Oh boy

This bit is more about their parents but is required for context: Papa Marcus Poindexter is a Baptist worship pastor. Mama Cara Poindexter was Irish Catholic but converted after she started dating Marcus. They are… extremely conservative, more so than the rest of their extended family, and it’s not exactly a healthy environment for the triplets. They’ve all set off firecrackers in the baptismal pool though.

All three of them have like, three different personalities, depending on who is around them. There’s the “I’m with my parents” personality, which will always prevail in any situation and is very submissive and agreeable, the “I’m with my siblings but not my parents” personality, which will prevail provided their parents are not around and is very loud and laughter filled, and then “I’m with anyone else but not my siblings” personality, which is at any other time and shifts based on who they’re talking to.

Their group chat is. A mess. The name changes constantly and most of the time it’s just them bitching about everyone they know.

Favorite GC Names include:

Those Damn Poindexter Kids

Poindexter Meme Team

Will/Ryder/Wyatt is the Hot One

Which one are you again?

Fluent in American Sex Language

God Nerfed Us

Our Hair is Red because the Devil is Our Father

Mad 4 Plaid

Summer after their freshman year of college, some guy named Jake Nichols made a bet with his buddy that he could hook up with all three of them at least once. He did it, the madman, and they don’t figure it out until MONTHS later and it’s the best story to tell at parties, but only when all three of them are there together.

Wyatt and Will run in the mornings when they’re together, Will and Ryder will do dexterity training together, and Ryder and Wyatt will do your Everyday Gym Trip together (where Ryder does strength training and Wyatt general Fitness Upkeep).

Ryder and Wyatt visit The Haus when the Frogs are juniors:

So damn polite, oh my god, Bitty LOVES them because they all want to help in the kitchen like Dex does, and they brought even MORE food, bless their hearts. 

Wyatt gets along with Nursey like a house on fire. Ryder won’t stop doing eyebrow waggles at Dex every time he and Nursey say anything to each other.

Graduates are visiting bc plot and Ryder is well on her way to hook up with Ransom when he realizes that he doesn’t live there anymore and there’s no room to go to, whoops. He tried to ask Dex if he could flirt with his sister and Dex r e f u s e d to broach the topic with him. “If she wants to it’s fine.” “But-” “IF SHE WANTS TO IT IS F I N E.”

Wyatt brings his guitar and there’s a jam session in the front yard, somehow he convinces Will to sing. It’s an exciting time, Nursey brings out a ukulele and everyone’s humming along and somehow there’s a firepit is this even legal? The music is great though, even though it’s 3 AM and the Lax bros are pissed.

IDK how but they’d get Nursey and Dex together. They conspire with Chowder and maybe Bitty and just. Make it happen. Witchcraft.

Fin.

[eldritchsurveys]

1031.

5k Survey LXXV

3826. Why do most people associate being spiritual or connected to the world as being a hippy? >> Okay, so the first 25 questions in this section were all specifically about LOTR The Two Towers, for some reason? I’m not interested so I just skipped them entirely and am smushing the remaining 25 questions in this part into the other 50. Whatever. Anyway, because that’s the stereotype they’ve internalised, idk. Looking down on non-materialistic worldviews is a common modern pastime in the Western world, just in general. (Not that being a hippie is inherently a negative or stupid thing to be, but that’s definitely the sort of context this stereotype is going for.)

3827. Why is passion and honest emotion equated with hallmark cards? >> I feel like my answer to this would just be similar to my answer to the previous question. These ideas don’t necessarily have the same root, but they’re definitely related. 3828. What words set off alarms in your brain (for me it's anarchy, pagan, etc)? >> *blinks* Certainly not those words. Usually it’s words like, idk, “American values” and “lizard people”... 3829. Are you dancin in the dark? >> No. 3830. Name 2 things you have never done in public: >> I’ve never done the Charleston or the Riverdance in public.

3831. If you had to choose out of what you just named, which one WOULD you do in public? >> I don’t even know how to do those dances, which is part of the reason why I’ve never done them in public. 3832. Challenge yourself. Do whatever it is in public. Why not? What are you so terrified of? >> ... 3832. Is hell REALLY other people? >> The actual context of that quote is so much more interesting than seeing people using it as some kind of antisocial mantra. 3833. Or would it be more hellish to live totally without other people? >> We’re all aware that humans are social creatures, correct? Just making sure. 3834. Leggos or linkin logs? >> I had Lincoln Logs as a kid but not LEGO. 3835. What books have you read more than once? >> I’ve read The Fountainhead three times. 3836. Do you get different things out of reading a book a second time a year or more after reading it the first time? Is it because you are a different person after time passes? >> Yeah, I do, and yes, that’s why -- but first I have to convince myself to read a book more than once. My to-read list is so long all the time and then I learn about yet another interesting-sounding book and jump on that and the cycle never ends... it feels like a waste of time to go back and read books I’ve already read. Even though I know that’s not a logical way to think at all. 3837. The person who goes to ____ is not the same person who comes back. Fill in the blank with anything you think fits. >> Whatever. 3838. Quick! Empty your brain here! >> ... 3839. What's the best movie soundtrack? >> I’m partial to Clint Mansell soundtracks, personally. 3840. Tissues with or without aloe? >> I rarely even use tissues, but when I do, I’m not terribly precious about what kind they are. I just use whatever Sparrow bought. 3841. Are you on any medication? >> No. 3842. Does any part of your own body disgust you? If yes, isn't that odd? What could have caused that feeling of disgust with your own body? >> Having a body disgusts me, overall. Yeah, I’m not fond of the relationship I have with my body either, but it’d be one hell of an uphill battle to reprogram my brain to not think I’m gross. I’m doing my best, all right. 3843. Want some popcorn? >> No. 3844. What if Atlas shrugged? >> I imagine he’d do it in far less time than it takes to read that book. 3845. Who has led the most interesting life? >> ... 3846. What movies are comming out next year that you are looking forward to? >> Ha, what movies are coming out next year... that’s the question, innit. 3847. If someone is half man and half dog is he his own best friend? >> --- 3848. Paper or plastic? >> I usually get plastic bags. 3849. Why did things make sense in childhood, but they don't now? >> What things? 3850. Is it crazy time? >> --- 3851. If there is a lotto with 50 numbers, and a player picks 6 numbers without repeating any, what are their chances of getting all 6 winning numbers? >> I don’t know, dude.

3852. If there were no laws and no rules name 3 things you would do that you don't/wouldn't/can't do now? >> --- 3853. It's a costume party. What will your costume be if the theme is: the 70's? 80's? under the sea? 3854. Have you ever wanted to release the lobsters from those tanks in restraunts and put them back in the sea? >> Nope. 3855. How funky is your chicken? How loose is your goose? >> --- 3856. What's your favorite animal out of these: emu, otter, duck billed platypus, moose, skunk? >> Otter. 3857. priest, rabbi, or other religios leader, a judge, or a sea captain to perform your wedding? >> We had a nondenominational minister for ours. I’m sure we would have rather have gone with someone who wasn’t any flavour of Christian, but going through the French Quarter Wedding Chapel kind of was a path of least resistance. It’s hard to plan a wedding from a completely different part of the country than the place it’s being held, and the Chapel did a lot of the legwork for us. 3858. Do you think that it's okay for people to write their own wedding vows? >> What on earth would possess me to think otherwise? 3859. Rank these as places to be married. 1 = best. Your House or Yard The Beach A Park Disneyland A Forest A Catering Hall Las Vegas A church or temple A Courthouse On a Boat On a Space Station 3860. The Earth is doomed. A giant asteroid is headed our way. It will decimate the planet in 3.2 days. You and your family own a space pod and you have room for 7 people from the list below. Everyone else dies. Who do you pick? Orlando Bloom, Justin Timberlake, Joan Jett, John Denver Baby Eve (the first human clone), Jennifer Lopez, Johnny Depp, George W Bush, David Bowie, Charleton Heston, Ralph Nader, Moby, Jeff Bridges, Kelly Osbourne, Frank Zappa, Bill Clinton, Britney Spears, Osama Bin Laden The Pope, Eminem, Madonna >> *longsuffering sigh* 3861. Rank the following dead people in order of who you would like to spend the day with. 1 = you'd like to hang out with them the most. Joan of Arc Groucho Marx John Lennon Joey Ramone Anton Levay Tupac Jack Kerouac Aaliyah John F Kennedy Lucielle Ball Jim Morrison 3862. If you could grant immortality to one person you know (can't be yourself) who would you give it to? >> I don’t want to grant immortality to anyone. 3863. If you could grant immortality to one person who you do not know personally but know of (writer, politician, etc) who would you give it to? >> --- 3864. Name a person you love: Name a person you admire: Name a friend: Name a relative: If you had to condemn one of them to death to save the lives of the others who would it be and why? >> Just... not even going to touch this one. 3865. Would you rather be one of Santa's elves or a dentist? >> What... 3866. When you first meet people what do you talk to them about? >> There’s no one specific thing that I talk to people about... it’s obviously dependent on many factors (at least one of them having nothing to do with me). 3867. You have been invited to a party with any sports team in the world. Which one? >> No. 3868. Finish the sentances. In a world where: He was: She was: Together, they were: Why do so many movie trailers start off by saying 'In a world..'? >> I had a feeling this was about movie trailers, lol. I’m guessing it’s just convenient or something. (Also, that doesn’t happen much anymore. There’s a new set of trailer tropes now.) 3869. Make up a superhero with really unhelpful powers: >> --- 3870. A couple of days ago this guy won 14 million dollars and tried to donate 1 million to the salvation army. The salvation army turned the money down saying they didn't want dirty gambling money. Did they do the right thing? >> They did what was right from their point of view, which is a dogmatic conservative-Christian POV. 3871. If you had a spare million for charity work who would you donate it to? >> --- 3872. What's the craziest most shocking moment of rock and roll history that you can think of? >> --- 3873. Why is it that if a man kills another man in battle it's called heroic, but if he kills a man in the heat of passion, it's called murder? >> Perspective. 3874. What kind of punishment do you feel the following crimes deserve: premeditated murder? date rape? drug sales? drug use? burglery? 3875. If you could kiss anyone in the world on midnight at new year's eve, who would be the lucky one? >> ... 3876. You have just taken two sexy people prisoner because they found your hide out and you think they are spies. What do youd do: kill them, hump them or have crumpets and tea? >> What the fuck. 3877. What is your new year's resolution? >> --- 3878. Should the U.S. focus more on the threat from N. Korea or Iraq? >> --- 3879. Would you ever have plastic surgery? >> I don’t know, maybe. Mostly I just can’t afford shit like that, so the answer’s “no” by virtue of that alone. 3880. How can George Bush be considered a Christian when he a war-monger and the ten comandments say do not kill? >> Oh, you know. 3881. What is the most interesting premise for a reality tv show that you can think of? >> --- 3882. Who is the Hollywood Star next to die of a drug overdose? >> --- 3883. Do you find yourself caring a lot about online people, even if you haven't met or spoken to them off of the computer? >> Not... like, as a rule... 3884. When you hear the song puff the magic dragon what do you think? >> Weed, I guess. I don’t have any other associations with that song. 3885. Let's give you a tarot reading. Go on, ask any question: first card: the reversed high preistess. you may be expecting things to come too easily. You should be careful not to give up if they dont go your way. You're feeling a desire to escape, to withdraw into yourself. Shrug off your current lack of focus and work diligently to acheive the goals you want. second card: the reversed hanged man. You shouldnt be close-minded with your situation. There are many alternatives and possible solutions to your problems. Try something new. The last card: Justice. what goes around comes around. Seek advice on the matters at hand from elders. Do healthy things, spiritually and physically. 3886. What does 'boo' mean and how did it become a slang word of affection? >> www.dictionary.com 3887. How often do you stretch? >> Whenever I feel like it. I don’t schedule it or anything. 3888. Have you ever wished that you didn't have to be yourself? >> Yep. 3889. Would you rather wear shoes full of earthworms or a hat full of spiders? >> --- 3890. What are some things that for most people go unsaid? >> Bold of me to assume I know what most people are not saying out loud. Pretty sure mind-reading ain’t a thing. 3891. I said, 'Play me the best song in the world.' You put on: >> --- 3892. What happened last year that you would like to forget? >> --- 3893. What are you not able to do alone? >> Operate a seesaw. 3894. Do you feel more connected to earth air fire or water and why? >> Air, because I have a lot of it in my birth chart, I guess. Also, I just like space. (Both in the sense of “having physical space around me” and “outer space where all the stars and shit are”, although the latter isn’t air per se.) 3895. Which two words belong together and why: life, seawater, chocolate, blood, hair piece >> Depends on what you’re trying to reference, I guess. I can go with “life and chocolate” (obvious movie reference) or “blood and chocolate” (less obvious YA book/movie reference). 3896. If con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress? >> Yeah, we all know this joke. 3897. Have you ever wanted to meet the inspectors with the numbers for names(i.e. inspected by 36)? >> What? 3898. Who is the most thought-provoking person you know, &why? >> Me. I stay thinkin about myself.  3899. If you could change 1 thing you did in the last 24 hours, what would it be & why? >> Meh, nothing. 3900. What is the most bizarre thing you've ever done? >> I’m not sure.

[whoisjinhwan]

100 reasons to love yuta

that smile™

did i mention he invented smiling??? Amazing

his PERFECT smile its by far the best smile ive EVER seen in my life. not to be dramatic but yutas smile has cured any sickness i have ever head and have yet to have not to be dramatic but every time i see yuta smile and get that twinkle in his eye my heart grows three times in size not to be dra

his boldness. hes very straightforward its so refreshing

the way his eyes get so wide when hes surprised or enthusiastic im SOFT

HIS BEAUTIFUL BIG CHOCOLATE BROWN CAT LIKE EYES !

his lips i… gtg. theyre perfectly heart shaped

his insane versatility. give him a fuckign Clown Concept complete with hair and makeup, he’ll pull it off. no printer just fax

hes so witty despite not being 100% fluent in korean its amazing bc these comments just roll off his tongue

his charisma…. God Tier. he puts it out there that hes That guy

he moved to korea from japan and learned korean so fast that he gave taeil an identity crisis wow

yuta saying OKAY OKAY all the time thats the Nakamotto™

all (2) of his lines in firetruck

his hair is so luscious if sm ever tries to cut it i will personally Go Off

how does he look so good in yellow?????? he really did That

middle part!yuta

his medium/high pitched speaking voice? yes

HIS SINGING. his voice is so soft and sweet what an angel. i always have to prepare myself before his parts in songs so that i dont get a stroke bc his voice flows like liquid gold its so entrancing and addicting that got long and gross really fast in conclusion : give him more lines!!!!!!!!!

cherry bomb yuta focus ver. truly a smash hit legend deal with it

hes so dual hes like the human embodiment of sin but hes so GOOD. honestly how does he do That

the way he loves skinship it KILLS ME hes always holding someones hand, has his arm around their shoulder, etc.

hes highkey a sweetheart have u seen the way he takes care of his members?? how hes always right there next to them, comforting them, just overall being super sensitive

how he acts with the younger members

his friendship with hansol

taeyong said he makes all the other members feel confident :)))

yuta saying “good job” and praising winwin 25/8

accidentally holding taeils hand

when ice cream was found yuta gave winwin the first bite

yuta ft sword protecting taeyong while he barbecues

cooking assistant!yuta

how hard he tries to include all the members during interviews

hes so precious he named winwin winko im ugly sobbing

SAVAGE YUTA!!! yuta doesnt fuck around he knows whats up this boi rlly roasted his own company for not giving him enough lines King Of Being Petty he roasts better than this oven im about to stuff myself into

his love for his heritage. he always mentions japan in his interviews like “im from japan, can I speak japanese, back in osaka…”

nct life in osaka : tourguide!yuta wandering around his hometown with his members having the time of his life made me softer than it needed to

the famous takoyaki prank #fail it was tragic

yuta tightly holding taeyongs hand in the haunted house? cute !!

yuta trying to wink but actually just…. blinking? cute!!

yutas love for ferris wheels? cute !!

THAT cherry blossom pic. call moma i think theyre missing a masterpiece

i could listen to him speak japanese all day amsr whomst???

hes such a tease like its not an nct video unless yuta tries to flirt with the camera

@stylists stop giving him jackets!!! he doesnt WANT them

his rap in open the door, a religious experience

he grinded on a minion i think about this every single one of my waking hours How To Bleach Your Eyes

he has chicken breasts in his backpack?? what a frekkin weirdo…..

“we dont speak, thats alright” + that ONE HAND MOVE in 0 mile

his accent when he speaks english

his cute way of saying words he doesnt know how to pronounce

hes always given the hardest parts in choreo like the lifting parts in firetruck and he does it well even when hes hurt :((((

he way he talks. he has so many opinions like when he was on abnormal summit every time he spoke it was iconic, we love a woke king hes just. so Good With Words

he admires his dad more than anything in the world

his gaze/stare ohohohohoohoho my gosh!!!!!

this ?? boy ?? really ?? signed with sm as a vocalist, trained as a rapper, and now has the role of a dancer in nct 127? what is this talent, is he like… real?

his LAUGH! the way his shoulders rise and his eyes turn into crescents… wow

his airport fashion! looks after looks after looks after looks af

he is the single most Extra person ive ever seen with my own two eyes

that one time on nct life in paju when they were playing soccer and he… PUT THE BALL INSIDE HIS SHIRT TO SNEAK A GOAL??? i think abt this a lot

cant whistle for shit

he once said he doesnt smile in airport pics bc he wants to look cool?????????? a Whole Scorpio

clumsy!yuta opening a fridge and dropping a jar of spam on his foot

calling taeyong tsundere

“healing smile but I can do killing too”

“i dont cook but im a good cook”

cooking!yuta being confident that hes first place but then being eliminated

his cover of touch my body by sistar. Legendary

he played soccer for 11 years so he can singlehandedly murder everyone when it comes to sports its so Sexci

bUT he doesnt have the strength to do winwins morning exercises

he literally said his favorite destinations are rest stops because he can eat and relax

yuta in haarpers bazaar ended every other model on earth thats the Tea

when he wore that shirt with barack obama on it… thats Woke

his skin!!!!!!! always got that Glo. anastasia who??? becca whom?

he needs to wear muscle tees forever bc a r m s, im crying, can you hear my tears

YUTAS HANDS !!!!!!!! YUTA WITH HANDS!!!!!!!!! YUTA WITH VEINY HANDS!!!!!!!!!! THE HANDS OF YUTA

his fanservice he! really called us princesses and is always throwing up hearts this is an attack!

slytherin!yuta with a milk mustache in universal studios

supreme anime connoisseur 

his drawing vs haechans drawing??

hes Highkey gay for winwin

mountain man? manly man? Who Know

forgot his own groups name???? New Culture Technology headass….

when he wears earbuds at the airport and looks like hes in a kdrama like what is he listening to? asking the Real Questions

yuta + lemon, a Tragedy

skater!yuta

yuta playing ping pong in nct life and getting super hyped up for no reason at all

when he runs his fingers thru his hair. gravity? idk her.

his favorite accessories are earrings and he always wears the ones his fans gift him

all his reactions are a1 wow, god of cute expressions

yuta eating happily makes my heart so full like do you see those cheeeeks!!!!

cherry bomb era… hes really a whole meal i am well FED

HEADBAND!YUTA

his shoulders = yes

the way he gets so nervous when he has to give a speech in tokyo dialect bc hes from osaka

if he were to be reborn he said hed want to be a woman my heart is BURSTING

he gives good advice. i love how he turns his own experiences into life lessons i love my Wise Boyfriend

“what kind of food is not important, who youre eating with is important”

people give yuta so much shit bc of his chin but i love how confident he is with himself. “you guys saw my teasers right? i was sexy wasnt i?” “i dont look for the camera, the camera looks for me” its so heartwarming bc hes That guy and he k n o w s

he said his ideal type is someone who knows the word “pain” like hes so much more than the smiley playful persona he has on camera if u dont think that super scorpio hides a shit ton of feelings and insecurities get off my lawn

hardworking!! hes improved so much as a dancer and hes always trying his best to make ncts broadcasts entertaining it makes my heart blush i LOVE him

he, nakamoto yuta, the light of my whole life, exists. hes Out There, living. i love being blessed everyday imagine not loving yuta thats :/ not relatable

[littledonkeyburrito]

It’s tequila and beer so I shouldn’t be surprised

1. Do you prefer boys to shave down there? I prefer trimmed. I don’t want to feel like I’m fucking a well-endowed 12 year old but I also don’t want to be yanking all his hair out when I’m giving a handjob. Tbh it’s not a strong preference though. He can do what he wants.

2. Do you prefer liquid, mousse or powder foundation? Why? Powder because it feels less gross. I don’t generally wear any makeup though

3. How much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)? Mum knows a very small amount, but more than Dad knows. She knows I’ve dated two guys, at least.

4. Do you enjoy watching cooking shows? Not my scene

5. Do you worry about gaining weight? I don’t.

6. Have you ever used fake tan? No. In fact, I get a little weirded out when I have a real tan because my hands don’t look like my hands

7. How do you organize your make-up? There isn’t much. Doesn’t really need organising

8. Do you ever look at someone cute, and automatically make a move? No. Except maybe if I’m extremely drunk...

9. Do you live in a house, apartment, or another type of arrangement? Apartment

10. What’s one event your town has that you don’t like to participate in? I don’t know all of Barcelona’s festivities. Brisbane has the Ekka which is fun. Things I don’t like to participate in would probably be sporting events like marathons and such.

11. Are any of your siblings married? What are their spouses’ names? No.

12. Does your father have any creepy or scary friends you don’t like? A couple of Dad’s friends are slightly seedy but just in a regular old white dude way, not in a legit creepy way. They’re all fairly nice.

13. Do you watch any shows that you know your parents wouldn’t approve of? Yeah, Dad hates almost everything American.

14. What venue was the last real concert you went to at? Some showground in Madrid for a music festival.

15. Does your best friend and their mom have the same last name? Yes. Well, half. She has both parents’ last names.

16. What color is your cellphone? Black

17. Are you currently waiting for a phone call? From whom? Yes, I was supposed to get a call back from my health insurance company today. I’ll have to call them again tomorrow. At least I have a number to the english customer service line now.

18. Do you have any drugs in your bedroom? No

19. Is there a feature on your face that people compliment you on? Occasionally eyes I guess

20. What are your plans for the rest of the week? Figuring out how to get my luggage to weigh less than when I came to this country so I don’t have to pay extra baggage fees.

21. How many studded belts do you own? None.

22. Has your boyfriend/girlfriend ever had braces? Don’t have a partner.

23. What have you eaten today?

 Spicy rice soup, tabooleh, a mandarin, some chocolate

24. What’s your favorite thing to do? The thing that comes to mind is having dinner or drinks with my friends, possibly because I haven’t been able to do that for a year.

25. Did you wear a jacket today? Yes, I wore my coat when I went out

26. Have you kissed more than two people of the same sex? Yeah.

27. How many times have you had sex in one day? Twice 

28. Did you exercise at all today? Not on purpose

29. Would you ever move far away for a job opportunity? That’s the plan. Once I’m back in Australia I’m going to be applying for jobs in Spain and Central America in my field and if I get offered something with a liveable salary then I’ll move.

30. Are you too shy/embarrassed to tell people your middle name? No

31. If not, what is it? No bc internet

32. What day of the week is garbage day on your street? Three times every day.

33. What is something new you learned today? That my grocery store sells pigs ears, and that the drink “desperados” does not taste good (it’s tequila and beer so I shouldn’t be surprised)

34. Do you need a haircut? Yes

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards? If I try

36. When was the last time you ate popcorn? It’s been a while. I finally learned that popcorn is not worth the dry cracked lips and the kernel shells stuck in my teeth and gums for all eternity

37. Do you like eating out at restaurants? Cheap restaurants. The more expensive they get, the less I enjoy the atmosphere.

38. Is your name common? In Australia it is, but not in Spain.

39. Do you look older or younger than your actual age? Younger. I got asked ID the other day for the first time in like 6 months. And also a cab driver thought I was 16.

40. Were you ever a Pokemon fan? Yes

41. If you could get rid of one season, which one would you choose? Six

42. Have you ever performed in front of a large group? Yes

43. Are you hungry right now? No, I’ve eaten so much today

44. Have you ever had the chicken pox? My brother got the chicken pox during the school holidays with the whole fever, mild hallucinations, etc. So mum went and got me the vaccine (the last needle I was ever scared of bc in the end it wasn’t so bad). Then I got the spots start to show up and school had just started again so I got 4 days off school. We later found out that because of the needle I wasn’t contagious at all. I never had a fever or illness at all, just the itchy spots. My brother was pissed. 44. How often do you do laundry? About once a week.

45. Do you know anyone who snores? Both my parents, the last guy I slept with, this one guy I was friends with in school. Nobody else immediately comes to mind. 46. Would you make a good movie critic? No, I’m too nice. 47. What goal are you aiming for this year? Pay off debt and start saving again so I get the fuck out of Brisbane again within a year or two. 48. What’s the farthest you’ve walked? In one day? I think about 25-30km 49. What does your favorite shirt look like? I think my current fave would be my dark red tshirt with little white birds on it. I also like my denim button-up and my netflix tshirt 50. What made you feel most accomplished in you’re life so far? Being able to earn enough money in a job that I love to be able to move to Europe for a year after learning a whole new language. 51. What can’t you afford but wish you could? I can’t afford to stay in Spain :(

Last 10 people in your Facebook messages inbox: (I’m excluding group chats)

1.       Joh

2.       Me (had to write a number while on the phone and didn’t have a pen)

3.       Kym

4.       Emily

5.       Bronwyn

6.       Dad

7.       Aman

8.       Pegler

9.       Leisa

10.     Brenda

1. How long have you known 1? 4 years

2. When did you meet 2? At birth

3. When was the last time you saw 3? Yesterday

4. Have you and 4 ever gotten into trouble together before? No

5. How old is 5? 47

6. Have you ever taken a shower at 6’s house? Many, because I grew up in that house

7. Have you ever taken a dump at 7’s house? Lol, no.

8. Have you ever thought about going out with 8? No

9. What about 9? She’s my auntie

10. Would you ever go out with 10 or ask 10 out? No, she’s my dad’s friend

11. What’s the best memory you have had with 1? Too many to choose just one

12. What’s 2′s lastname? yeah nah

13. Would you ever take a bullet for 3? Probs not, soz

14. What would you do if 4 died? I'd be sad

15. What would you do if you found out 5 killed someone that you were related to? That would be horrible since we’re related to the same people

16. Would you take care of 6 if they were sick? Yes

17. Would you kill 7 if it was the only way for your other friends to survive? Yeah... if it was the only way then I would

18. Has 8 ever cooked for you? We lived together for 3 years but I don’t think so..? Maybe we occasionally offered each other leftovers but we never specifically cooked for each other

19. How many times have you and 9 fought? Never in my memory

20. Have you and 10 ever cried together? No

21. Have you and 1 ever kissed? Lol yes every time we get drunk together

22. Do you ever dream of 2? Almost always

23. Is 3 a boy? No.

24. Does 4 have any kids? No

25. Do you want to marry 5? I do not want to marry my aunt 26. How did you meet 1? At an event we were both at and then we ran in the same circles 

27. What was your first impression of 2? I do not remember when I became self-aware 28. Would you ever date 3? No. She is my dad’s married friend with 3 kids 29. Are 4 and 5 friends? They have never met

30. Who is 6 going out with? Sharon, who he lives with 31. Is 7 a boy or girl? I feel weird calling him a “boy” because I used to sleep with him. He is a man. Aman, a man. A man called Aman. 32. What would you think if 8 became your stepbrother/sister? I don’t think either of his parents are a suitable match for my parents but he’d be a kickass brother 33. Is #9 a dork? No, not really

34. What is a random fact about #10? She’s Irish 35. Who does #1 have a crush on? Probably his boyfriend 36. Does #2 have any stalkers? No, I don’t 37. If #3 said they were in love with you, what would you say? It would be very inappropriate and I would say that it makes me uncomfortable.

38. Is #4 hott? I’m sure her husband thinks so. She is pretty though. 39. Who is #5 best friends with? idk 40. Does #6 have good fashion sense? Not especially, but if he tried to dress young he’d look worse. What he wears works for him. 41. Is #7 single? I think so. If he’s not then I’d wonder why he’s messaging me and saying he wants to meet up when I’m back. 42. Would #8 and #9 make a cute couple? God no

[cryptidcorvidcrow]

I was tagged by @kiss-my-ascot to tell you about my life.

Rule 1, tag ppl you want to know better

hhh I’m gonna cheat and just say that whoever wants to do it is officially tagged oops

rule #2 highlight the true statements in bold (brackets are personal comments)

——

I am 5'7 or taller (I’m only 5’ 3.75" or 162cm exactly)

I wear glasses (i should be at least but i haven’t had a prescription pair in years,, needless to say i need to hit the optometrist)

I have at least one tattoo (i have a few stick n poke ones, half of them kinda suck imho)

I have at least one piercing (4 in my ears and 1 in my nostril lol)

I have blonde hair (my natural color is blond, but i dye it bc i don’t particularly like it)

My abs are somewhat defined

I have or have had braces

I love meeting new people (i like meeting new people in a calm setting with a bumper friend but otherwise i kinda seem to forget how to talk)

People tell me I’m funny (im pretty sure it’s happened but i can’t remember specifically)

Helping people with their problems is a big priority to me (when it’s my friends or ppl i care about at least, I’ve come to realize.. customer service changes a man)

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude to people I know well (it depends on the person, and whether they’re playfully rude to me first)

I started to say something ironically, now I can’t stop saying it (there’s too many things to list and at this point i don’t even start ironically anymore)

There is something I would change about my personality (multiple somethings)

I can sing well (i go back and forth between whether or not i think i can sing so idk truthfully)

I can do 30 pushups without stopping (i just tried and im surprised that i actually could tbh)

I’m a fast runner(it depends on the situation but most of the time, nah)

I can draw well (i guess?)

I have a good memory (i actually do kinda tend to remember certain things really easily,, if it’s related to my friends it’s usually immediately archived bc that’s all i actually care abt tbh)

I’m good at doing math in my head (does addition/subtraction/multiplication/division count?)

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute (i can’t even hold my breath for 30 seconds oops guess I’ll die)

I have beaten at least two people in an arm wrestle (one of my favorite wins was against a boy in middle school who really thought he’d win💪😎✨)

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch (im actually pretty good at cooking, and i actually particularly enjoy making things from complete scratch)

I can throw a punch

I enjoy sports

I have learned a new song in the past week

I’ve gone running at least one week in the summer

I work out at least once a week

I have drawn something in the last month (it may or may not have been trollsonas of me and my two best friends,, that i am also working on making into an actual fanstuck adventure comic,,, oops)

I enjoy writing (most of the time anyways. also i can’t write if i don’t have my hair up or if i have a bra on, it’s just too uncomfortable and it always fucks my anxiety for some reason??)

I have done martial arts

I have had my first kiss (it was with a boy and wasn’t particularly enjoyable. in contrast, this one goodbye half kiss that i had with a girl in freshman year was far more pleasant.)

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting (far too many times)

I have had alcohol

I have scored a winning goal in sports (it’s so damn satisfying)

I have been to an overnight event

I can play an instrument

I have been in a taxi

I have been in hospital/er in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day (if the little mermaid nintendo ds lite game i used to play counts, otherwise this shouldn’t be bolded oops)

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts (I’ve never even been to a concert)

I have at least one person I consider a best friend (I’m lucky enough to have two, and i love them with all of my heart. @dracos-singed-wings @syty )

I live close to my school (i don’t go to school, but I’m about a mile from my old high school)

My parents are still together

tbh if there’s anything else anyone wants to know i love oversharing so just shoot me an ask 😎👉👉

[defkdn]

Tag Game! 

Thank you for tagging me @meteongshower 💖  

I would like to tag: @rome-ong (even tho you already got tagged :), @4joshua, @wannablemybaby, @sihyun, @wannx-one (I know you’re busy so pls don’t feel like you have to do this, and this goes for everyone)

THE LAST

Drink: Milk 

Phone call: was with my best friend and I was probably ranting to her 

Text message: “tell your cousin in Korea to send it to you” lol I was talking to my friend about k-beauty 

Song you listened to: Redbone - Childish Gambino 

Time you cried: I had a movie night with my friend and we watched Pure Love (the one w Kyungsoo) and cried our eyes out :’)  

HAVE YOU EVER

Dated someone twice: No

Kissed someone and regretted it: No 

Been cheated on: No

Lost someone special: No

Been depressed: Yes, idk if it’s seasonal depression??? but I have times when it just creeps up when I’m least expecting it and messes me up 

Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope, I don’t drink. 

3 FAVORITE COLORS

Black

Baby blue

Gray 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made new friends: Yes

Fallen out of love: Nope, haven’t been in love for a while

Laughed until you cried: Yes

Found out someone was talking about you: No

Met someone who changed you: Yes

Found out who your friends are: Yes

Kissed someone on your Facebook list: lol no

GENERAL

How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: I think all of them?

Do you have any pets: No, but I realllyyyy want a dog :(

Do you want to change your name: Nope, I actually really like my name, it’s one of my favorite things about myself.

What did you do for your last birthday: Spent time with my family 

What time did you wake up: 10am 

What were you doing at midnight last night: Waiting for Wanna One teasers 

Name something you can’t wait for: GRADUATE COLLEGE SO I CAN STOP WORRYING ABOUT STUDYING (or hopefully study abroad in Korea sometime soon) 

When was the last time you saw your mom: she’s in the kitchen right next to me

What are you listening to right now: X - Code Kunst 

Have you ever talked to a person named tom: I used to have a crush on someone named Tom.......

Something that is getting on your nerves: it’s something related to my friends but I’m getting over it so it doesn’t matter

Most visited website: Tumblr or twitter idk? 

Hair colour: Black 

Long or short hair: Long

Do you have a crush on someone: No and I miss the feeling of having a crush!!! 

What do you like about yourself: I’m goal oriented and if I really want something then I can make it happen (unless it’s related to relationships...lol)

Blood type: Idk

Nickname: Don’t have any (sometimes people call me lulu but I don’t really like it) 

Relationship status: Sexy, free, and single (lol jk this joke is so old)

Zodiac: Taurus 

Pronouns: she/her

Favourite tv show: Gossip Girl, Riverdale, Moomin, Boys Over Flowers (I’ve watched it 5 times), KUWTK, and I’m currently watching While You Were Sleeping so I guess that counts?

Tattoos: None but I have a couple ideas for when I do get one 

Right or left handed: Right

Surgery: Nope

Sport: ....I like watching soccer

Vacation: Planning a trip to Florida for winter break but idk if it’ll happen

Pair of shoes: Adidas Stan Smiths!!!!

MORE GENERAL

Eating: I had cereal for breakfast

Drinking: Water

I’m about to: Go to class 

Waiting for: Class to start 

Want: To be anywhere but on campus 

Get married: Eventually...but I definitely won’t be ready anytime soon.

Career: I’m a college student but I have no idea what I want to do in the future and I have a year to figure that out before I graduate lol 

WHICH IS BETTER

Hugs or kisses: Hugs

Lips or eyes: Eyes

Shorter or taller: Taller

Older or younger: Older

Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms

Hook up or relationship: Uhhh...relationship? Idk I’m afraid of commitment so we’ll see 

Troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: No

Drank hard liquor: Yes, I tried it once a long time ago

Lost glasses/contact lenses: Nope, I don’t use either 

Turned someone down: Yeah 

Sex on the first date: No

Broken someone’s heart: No?

Had your heart broken: Yes :)))

Been arrested: No

Cried when someone died: No

Fallen for a friend: No

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Yourself: at 3am yes, but the next day I’m back to doubting myself 

Miracles: Yes

Love at first sight: Yes

Santa claus: No (I never did)

Kiss on the first date: Yes

Angels: Yes 

OTHER

Eye color: Dark Brown

Favorite movie: Spirited Away