#idk if i've ever written this up before but ! here u go !

[uno-san]

Hiii! Could I rq reader who was Fords gf/so before he left and when he comes back he’s happy bc he realizes reader stayed in Gravity Falls the whole time and maybe even helped Stan fix the portal!

But then Bill comes and it’s totally up to u whether to make Bill like super jealous of reader or become just as obsessed with reader as he is with Ford idk.

Thank u!

Hello! Thanks so much for sending in a request. This is the first thing I've written in FOREVER, so I miiiiight have gotten carried away. Hope you and everybody else enjoys!

It always reminded you of the night sky. 

That, or what lied far beyond it. Beyond you, maybe. But never Stanford Pines. Who, in this very moment stood several yards from where you yourself were. The both of you had that strange, not-quite night sky wrapped around your forms. Yet instead of the endless expanse that space was known for, various journals, textbooks, and equations littered that space around you.

It would have been a marvelous sight if you didn’t know the purpose behind this all-too tailored world for Stanford. A trap meant to make him feel seen and applauded in ways you couldn’t quite match. A place for them to meet.

Beside Stanford was another figure. A three-sided one to be exact who had taken place near his shoulder, where he had been far longer than you could have ever known. But here he didn’t need to whisper his lies. Here, the two of them could simply converse and enjoy each other’s company. A wonderful plan to make Stanford feel known while also shutting you out from the light altogether.

Their laughter was uproarious.

“AHAHAHAHA! COME ON, SIXER, YOU DON’T MEAN THAT!”

A shrill voice cut through your observations. The devilish figure that it belonged to had placed his hands over his chest, or stomach, as if he were trying and failing to hold in his joy. His one eye was closed and curved to show a smile that his body didn’t have the means to actually do. His tie meanwhile spun in circles as if a toy had been wound up.

‘Sixer’ had his eyes lowered to the platform of which he stood. Tucked under his arm was one of his prized journals, where each of his six fingers drummed against its spine. He looked bashful under interrogation.

“What, not quite the term your ego would prefer, Bill?” Stanford finally shot back, his gaze raising to meet Bill’s while his eyebrow raised to pose a challenge.

“NOT AT ALL!” 

The demon began to circle around Stanford, who’s whole body began to turn with a determination not to break eye contact again. As if he were afraid of losing sight of Bill. Or his attention. Seeing it reminded you of a puppy enamored with its owner. Its everything, really. You had been familiar with it at some point yourself. What felt like ages ago now.

“JUST SURPRISED, IS ALL. I MEAN, AAAAAAAAALL I’VE DONE IS EXPAND YOUR MIND TO THE UNIVERSE OUTSIDE YOUR PUNY WORLD, SHOW YOU NEW COLORS, AND GIVE YOU THE PERFECT COMEBACKS EVERY TIME YOU GET INTO AN ARGUMENT,” He humbly bragged, “BUT IS THAT ALL REALLY WORTH IT TO BE CALLED YOUR-”

MUSE.

Muse.

Muse.

Muse. Muse. Muse. Muse. Muse. Muse. Muse. Muse. Muse. Muse.

That damn word was going to be imprinted on your brain with how often it was quite literally repeating. Out Loud. High-pitched and nearly shattering your ear drums, a physical manifestation of the word appeared in the space to hurl itself in your direction; A move you’ve seen one too many times. You nimbly dodged off to the side without losing your footing like you had the first time this occurred. With both your feet planted firmly on the ground you whipped your head around to catch the end of the show.

The scene had frozen. Stanford’s expression was stuck in a form of denial, his cheeks tinted a rosy color that you used to make them turn. His brow was furrowed as if he were concerned. Or desperate to assure Bill that he truly was worth it all. Bill meanwhile had his arms folded behind his back while his half-lidded eye bore down on its prey like a benevolent mentor.

Bill’s pupil slowly slid in your direction.

“A BENEVOLENT MUSE, YOU MEAN.”

Bill Cipher became animated again. This time he no longer addressed the version of Stanford standing before him. His smug attention was all focused on you now. His small frame managed to tower over you in mere presence alone, even at the distance you two stood at.

Arms folded behind his back, there was a silence that followed while Bill inspected you. Perhaps waiting for you to give a response before he settled on his own. He feigned surprise.

“DIDN’T EXPECT TO CATCH YOU HERE. SIXER AND I WERE JUST HAVING A MOMENT ALONE,” Bill emphasized, his arm outstretching far past its supposed physical limit to wrap itself around Stanford’s still frame, “YOU KNOW, LIKE WE’VE BEEN HAVING FOR A WHILE. BEHIND YOUR BACK. IN FACT HE WAS JUST ABOUT TO GET TO COMPLIMENTING ME. SINCE I’M HIS MUSE. HIS SKY. STARS. WHATEVER.”

Muse.

Another manifestation hurled its way in your direction. You weren’t nearly as prepared and the edges of the word were sharp, slicing into your arm to draw what you assumed to be blood. With a wince you had to steady your balance before your glare shot back to the bastard in front of you.

He was a menace who you hadn’t realized you had been in competition with for years. And now, in a pissing contest with as the man you’re both fighting over like teenagers was lost in worlds unknown. The man you had loved and had been prepared to marry was gone now. Leaving you with his unfaithful ‘Muse’.

Oh, how you’ve come to hate the word.

It happened first when you had learned of the existence of an other-worldly being that had been secretly leading Stanford’s ambitions. Second was when you had discovered Ford’s hidden collection of idols and paintings. All squirreled away in a private chamber of his own viewing pleasure. That had been manageable.

But the fondness in his gaze when discussing their meetings made your heart ache. How he’d talk as if Bill Cipher was the sole purpose of everything now. His reason for continuing his research or facing adversity for his talents. Or the way he’d pause in the middle of a task to instead laugh at a memory of Bill from earlier, with his hands looking to busy themselves as a distraction.

All of that had hurt. But what made you hate the word most of all was its constant use to torture you. That the moment Bill had sensed your distaste for the term he had done nothing but plague your mind with it. Shoving it in your face as if he was a secret side woman in some stately affair.

Thus far this has been your nightly routine for several months now. Ever since Stanford Pines went missing from this world and so many others. With his brother, Stanley, being left behind with you to pick up the pieces to get back your lost loved one. And for some reason or other, Bill had set his sights on tormenting you.

Every night. Different visions of their bonded moments played in your mind while Bill sneered and poked fun at you for being fool enough to never notice the signs of your man slipping away. You never knew if what he showed you was true. You hoped not.

“THEY’RE REAL.”

You ignore him a moment to get back on two feet. Standing tall before him.

“Do you plan on taking me through your ‘Greatest Hits’ every night or are you going to fuck off already?” The venom in your tone caused interest to gleam in his eye. Most nights you try not to dignify his taunts with a response. But you were tired. Both mentally and physically thanks to late nights with Stanley to try to get the portal running again, or your lonely crying sessions blaming yourself for letting this go on for so long. You were exhausted.

“AW, DIDN’T THINK YOU’D GET SO CRANKY OVER A LITTLE FUN FORDSY AND I WERE HAVING! I’M SURE IT’S EASY TO GET INSECURE OVER THE IDEA OF YOUR MAN GETTING THE CHANCE TO VISIT A SUPERIOR BEING EVERY NIGHT BUT HE MENTIONED YOU ONCE OR TWICE. Y’KNOW, ABOUT HOW YOU’RE ‘SAFE’ AND ‘STABLE’.”

You knew he was just trying to get a rise out of you. Perhaps even deter you from working on that portal any further, ensuring that Stanford would remain lost to mystery forevermore. “Say what you want Bill but I know him better than what your mind creeping could ever do. You miscalculated by seeing only the parts that benefited you and that’s going to end up biting you in the ass. Because it doesn’t matter what you and Stanford had before. Whatever was there is GONE, and I know that Stanford will be coming to end you too.”

It was difficult to keep your voice steady to feign the confidence that you hadn’t had in a long time. You stood bravely in the face of Bill, who’s form only grew in size while you charged up your own argument. He was nearly towering over you now while his gaze remained steady on you. His expression was unreadable.

“WELL WELL WELL, I-”

He’s yapped for far too long.

“Maybe that’s the point to all of this,” You gestured to the spectacle put on pause, “You realize you fucked up. Pushed too hard. Or maybe you’re not even playing this for me. You’re just trying to convince yourself that Ford is still in the palm of your hand when in reality, he despises you. Wants you dead. That despite all the compliments and praises you keep showing me he still picked me over you.”

You weren’t sure if any of this was going to strike a chord. Especially with being in the dark as long as you had, there was nothing for you to fight with. The best you could do was treat him like the vindictive affair partner he was pretending to be. And it worked. Or it was the hint of a suggestion you made in saying you were chosen over him.

Bill’s form skyrocketed in size from its already heightened form, with the triangle now bending over you now to force you to nearly tilt your head all the way back just to make eye contact. His pupil was entirely black to reflect your new surroundings as the static image of Ford and their place of contact was suddenly whisked away. What used to be a bright yellow turned to blood-red bricks that you swore you could feel heat coming off of.

“STANFORD PINES FEARS ME,” Bill’s voice boomed, “AND THAT’S EXACTLY WHERE I WANT HIM. THINKING OF ME AND CHASING AFTER MY COATTAILS UNTIL THAT NERD COMES TO REASON. AND UNTIL THEN YOU-”

His fingers snapped. The ground beneath you disappeared and you felt weightlessness hit as you began to descend into a dark pit. “YOU WILL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN!”

The vision of the gigantic demon began to fade away. His voice still boomed and echoed despite the void that they were shouted into. As your conscience begins to fade into its own form of nothing you close your eyes to instead repeat his words to yourself.

Never see him again.

__

The Mystery Shack above you groaned with disapproval. Its wood and structure creaked as it finally settled back on the ground, thankfully still supported by its own weight once gravity returned to normal. You were face first on the ground with your head still spinning from that hasty landing you made to resist any damage. With just one peek of an eye you could see that your vision was still hazy. Only a sickeningly familiar blue light kept the basement of the Shack from being in total darkness.

Darkened figures up ahead began to move. When you tried to join them you were quick to discover that your leg caught in debris. A quick examination told you that it wasn’t anything dangerous like active machinery, and the small tugs you gave to test your aching body showed that nothing was quite broken. Hurt, yes, but all intact.

Just like the house you could feel your bones settling back into place while creaking with resentment. You could only imagine how Stanley must have been feeling. Propping yourself up with one arm you then used your freehand to begin pulling away at the rubble on top of you, trying to carefully dismantle it piece by piece so that it wouldn’t collapse on top of you.

Having been so focused on your escape you had only caught the tail-end of what Stanley was telling dipper.

“The author of the Journals…”

Your head whipped around so fast it could have snapped, “My brother.”

As if on cue a figure cladded in a black cloak removed his mask with a six fingered hand, his silver hair whipping around him as he slowly revealed a face you thought you could have anticipated after having aged years with Stanley. The fact that they were twins did little to stop you from tearing up at the handsome visage that was your Stanford Pines.

The wrinkles in his face had deepened from the last you saw him. He was still chiseled with a hint of facial hair he might have shaved off recently while his posture and expression gave off a confidence you weren’t familiar with.

Stanley began to approach him with open arms, prepared to greet the brother he’s missed for years for longer than yours. Stanford didn’t match his sentiments. Instead his fist drew back to strike Stan who had flinched out of the way- But not before Stanford’s fist froze. Left hanging in the air as something else caught his attention. Past Stanley and Dipper. Through various piles of cement and broken wood.

You.

Neither of you moved. His eyes flickered back and forth in a manner that suggested he was examining you all the same. Taking in every detail of your graying form, of each new wrinkle that has marked your age like a tree. The intensity of his gaze made your heart stall for more reasons you could count.

Was that disappointment in his gaze? Or worse, indifference? The world had already been cruel in tearing you apart in the first place. How easy would it be to have Stanford simply forget you? To have moved on to grander and exciting things since his time away. After all, Bill Cipher had enticed him once before. YOU nearly lost him once before. Who’s to say you haven’t wasted your years chasing after a man who could no longer remember your face?

Tears began to gather. They soothed the sting of debris in the air to instead replace it with a dull ache in your heart. At this point you could have been crying over any number of things. You tried calling out his name but the words caught in your throat.

He shouted yours instead. Pushing passed his stunned brother and great nephew to run in your direction. Just as Stanford was a few feet away he suddenly dropped to his knees to slide the remaining distance. It was a physical endeavor you envied in this moment.

Already Stanford’s arms wrapped around your form, drawing you in close to his chest while he buried his face into your hair. You didn’t dare utter a sound of discomfort. Swallowing your tears you chose to focus on his warmth rather than the pain your body was in. How much studier his arms felt from the last time you were held in them, however long ago that was.

“M…My dear…” Stanford gasped, as if the term of endearment hadn’t been uttered in history before. His six fingers nearly dug into your body with his tight grasp. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, “This…This is real. Bill isn’t lying again. You’re here. You.”

From the corner of your vision you could see both Soos and Mabel staring in wonder. Their mouths were left hanging open while they slowly turned to each other to clasp hands together. Mabel began to mouth ‘they have a histooooory!!’

You opted to turn your face into Stanford’s chest to ignore all that as long as you could.

“All these years I’ve waited here for you, Stanford. Every year was spent fixing the portal, I-” Your eyes wandered to his twin, “-We’ve been fixing the portal. Stan and I together decided we weren’t going to stop until you were home safe.”

Stanford drew in a breath. The tension that coiled his posture was a familiar sign of his frustrations being withheld, and with the copious warnings in his Journals to not open the portal again you had a fairly safe guess as to what that tension was. Stanford managed to swallow it down as his hand cupped your cheek and directed your eyes to his.

The years have really gone by. For the both of you, you realized as you gazed into weary and worldly eyes. Did he see the same thing in you? Or has it occurred to him just how truly long it's been since the two of you were close like this. Since way before he was lost in the first place. To where Bill’s schemes began to put the first cracks in the foundations of your relationship.

From the distance the portal still glowed a blue hue, flickering every few moments as the machine began to lose its life at long last for what you pray is the last time. Both of you were left illuminated with blue. The beautiful sight of Stanford had been imprinted on your mind, nearly washing away the years of trauma the color had come to be associated with.

You could have sworn Stanford’s eyes were brimming with tears as well before they closed, the distance between you two gone as he leaned down to capture your quivering lips in a kiss. With it came the relief of a thirty-year grief. Not of a healed relationship but of a path to recovery and trust. You nearly grinned into the kiss. Stanford Pines chose you.

[reiding-writing]

Idk if u ever write this or not but... i've been thinking abt this lately....... spencer and reader debating about "kissing is a lot more hygienic than shaking hands" and they just suddenly kiss afterwards AHHHH I DONT KNOW IF YOU GET MY POINT but thats that

acceptable greetings [ s.r ]

Summary:

Spencer is an avid believer that kissing is a better greeting than shaking hands. You’re not convinced at his notion of it being ‘completely acceptable’, and in attempting to prove him wrong, you end up proving something else.

WARNINGS: n/a

pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader

genre: 100% fluff

wc: 1.5k

masterlist!!

a/n: here is my immediate apology for the sheer amount of angst in my last fic i love you guys please don’t hate me 🫶

“Kissing is so much more hygienic than shaking hands,”

Spencer’s expression matched his statement, confident in his assessment and unwilling to back down on his stance of not wanting to shake hands with other people.

“It’s unhygienic,” He would say, “There are hundreds of undiscovered bacterial colonies that live on people’s hands,”

“That doesn’t change the fact that kissing somebody is not an acceptable greeting Spencer,” You arbitrarily turn your swivel chair back and forth with your foot as a pivot, rolling your eyes as you lean your head over the back of your chair.

You’d been talking about this topic for almost half an hour, your file assessment of your most recent case forgotten on your desk as you debate with Spencer as he sat directly opposite you.

“Several European countries use kissing as a customary greeting,” Of course he had a rebuttal to your comment. “It actually dates back to the Romans, who, as my original statement supports, used it as a way to stop diseases from spreading between people during social greetings,”

His face told you that he was singing his own glory in his head, victory written in the small wrinkle in his eyebrow and the quirk of his smile.

If he wasn’t so cute when he looked at you like that you’re sure you would’ve found something else to say. Something to continue this debate of yours and satisfy the competitiveness riddling your brain.

But instead you opt to let him revel in his ‘victory’, rolling your eyes as a soft “Whatever,” rolls off your tongue.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

You were going to prove your point.

You might think Spencer is perfectly sweet and innocent in his ways, but that didn’t stop that tiny voice in the back of your head that told you that you could win that debate you were having the day before.

You entered the bullpen with an agenda. You walked out of the elevator with your head held high and your eyes fixed on the fluffy brown mess decorating the back of Spencer’s head.

You clear your throat when you meet him, and he turns around with that perfectly innocent expression on his face, echoing a soft “Good morning,” at you that only amplifies his perfectness and makes you want to prove him wrong even more.

You don’t consult him before you lean in to press your lips to his face.

It’s a short, chaste kiss that’s pressed to the apple of his cheek.

It lasts less than a second.

And yet Spencer’s face immediately flushes a bright red that would make anyone passing by think that you’d suggested the two of you strip naked in the middle of the office.

“I- What was that for?-” His voice wavers like he was catching his breath from running up a flight of stairs, blinking rapidly at you like clearing his vision was going to provide him with the answer to his question.

“Not such an acceptable greeting after all hm?”

It takes him a second to realise what you’re talking about, but your smug expression and the way you cross your arms over your chest sends him back to the conversation he was having with you yesterday and his face turns from confusion to begrudging acknowledgment.

“It is a perfectly acceptable greeting when both parties are aware it is going to happen,” He sighs along with his response, mirroring you as he crosses his arms to try and resemble having some sort of composure.

He intentionally left out the part where even if he knew you were going to kiss him he would still flush red like a traffic light.

That his palms would still sweat and his vest would suddenly become uncomfortably hot on his torso.

But that was because you were- well, you.

So his point still stood.

“God you really do have an answer to everything don’t you?” The slight tilt of your head and the still very apparent smile on your face told him that despite your words you weren’t angry or annoyed at his response.

You more looked like you’d been presented with a freshly scrambled rubix cube to solve and add to the collection on your desk.

And that look on your face only proved to crack his composure even more.

“Well- I have done extensive research on the subject, so I therefore have had chance to form a fully educated opinion of the matter,”

True to form, his explanation was smart, logical, mixed in with that adorable awkwardness as he continued to reel from his earlier flustering.

Your chuckles grace his ears with no objection, and he soon find himself smiling softly alongside you as your attitude rubs off on him.

“You’re so cute,”

But when you call him cute, Spencer Reid finally, fully cracks because that is the sweetest goddamn thing he’s ever heard in his life.

Spencer’s smile reaches his eyes, the flush on his cheeks returning with a vengeance at your words and causing him to feel hot once more despite the AC blowing at a comfortable cool temperature.

You hold up a finger in front of you that his eyes follow with a confused knit in his eyebrow, and then you’re jogging back towards the elevator with his confusion only growing at every step you make.

His eyebrows continue to furrow as you walk back towards him again with that determined look that paints your face whenever you’re knee-deep in a profile, and he raises and eyebrow as you come to a stop in front of him once more.

“Good morning Spencer, i’m going to kiss you as a greeting now,”

Spencer’s face relaxes at your words as he understands what you’re doing. That you’re trying to prove his previous statement untrue by declaring your intentions beforehand and still having the interaction be unsuitable as a greeting.

He thinks he knows what you have planned, and he prepares himself for your lips to press against his cheek, to suppress the kaleidoscope of butterflies that would inevitably stir in his stomach at your contact so that he could hold his ground.

He thinks he knows what’s coming.

But oh is he wrong.

Your lips miss the apple of his cheek by a large margin, landing square on his mouth and causing his eyes to fly wide open at the new sensation.

If your lips weren’t pressed to his he’s sure his jaw would’ve fallen slack.

And that’s exactly what happens when you pull away from him a few seconds later, a delicate flush on your cheeks that contrasts the bright red covering his face like a warning sign of his shattered composure.

You stifle a small chuckle at his expression with your hand, tilting your head in a exaggeratedly innocent way. “What’s wrong Spencer? I thought kissing was an acceptable greeting when ‘both parties are aware it’s going to happen’,”

You reiterate his own words back to him, mimicking his tone in your explanation as you watch him blink at you with a blankly flabbergasted expression, completely shut down in every sense of the word.

An IQ of 187 slashed down to 60 as Emily would say.

His astoundment lasts for a whole 20 seconds before he brings himself back to reality through a series of rapid blinks, doing nothing more than leaning it to finish the space between you once more.

It’s times like this where Spencer is glad that the two of you were both chronically early to work.

That he wouldn’t have to deal with the ramifications of his actions through his coworkers.

That he didn’t have to endure Morgan’s teasing as he stood there with his hands holding either side of your face and his lips pressed against yours with a gentle but insistent pressure.

You were more than happy to accept his advances, internally singing your own praises at finally finding an excuse to kiss those perfect pink lips of his, and have him return it no less.

He breaks the moment after a few seconds, his hands still securely cupping your face towards him as he stumbles out a half-assed explanation for his actions.

“It’s- It’s polite to return somebody’s greeting with one of your own-”

You nod with a suppressed smile against the hold of his hands.

Maybe kissing your coworkers was an acceptable greeting after all.

Or, at least for the coworker you’d been pining after.

[croucify]

✶ dedicated — hamzahthefantastic x reader

SUMMARY: after a year of dating, you plan on celebrating with your boyfriend but things go a different way.

WARNINGS: nsfw content so MDNI!!! established relationship, reader and hamzah don't live together, miscommunication, angst, fluff, and some more idk

A/N: thank you so much for 100 followers & for all the love on my works!!! this is the longest shit i've ever written AND listen to dance for you by beyonce by the end if u can!!!

WORD COUNT: 2.2k

you woke up to the sound of your boyfriend's soft snores. his arms were wrapped around you, legs tangled with yours, and the sheets barely covering your bodies. 

you slowly turn to face him, not wanting to stir him awake. his mouth was slightly parted. you place a hand on his cheek, tracing his cheekbone then his jaw. 

minutes after, you place a peck on his cheek then you try your best to get out of bed as fast and quiet as possible. he stirred in his sleep a bit at the loss of your body but still he remained asleep. 

you left the kitchen and made brunch for you. 

recently, hamzah hasn't been coming over to your place and would be busy with editing and work. you both would be sleeping at different times and by morning, you'd always find his arms wrapped around you or his head tucked into your shoulder. 

you were fine with it. both of you always put your career first before everything else, wanting the best for each other and your futures.

but today — it was a very special day. 

it was your anniversary and hopefully, nothing would get ahead of it. 

as you were placing the pancakes on the cake, your bedroom door opens and reveals your boyfriend. his hair messy and eyes still half-closed. 

a smile graces your face as he comes to your view. "hi baby," you greet before returning back to cooking. 

he walks to where you were and wraps his arms around your waist, head finding its way to your shoulder. 

"so today, i was planning to meet there at 8?" you told him while you turned the stove off. he hums in response before speaking.

"i think i have to film with martin at that time... but i'm not entirely sure yet." 

you let out a sigh, untangling yourself from his arms before taking a fork and knife and placing it on his plate. "martin again?" an eyebrow was slightly cocked at him before you went over to sit on the stools by your counter. 

he didn't know what that meant but proceeded to ignore the comment and have breakfast with you. 

it was quiet for a moment, then when you finished breakfast, you quickly got ready for work and bid goodbye to your boyfriend. 

the whole day at work, you've spoken to your co-workers about having to leave earlier than usual so you could prepare for your anniversary dinner with your boyfriend.

hamzah on the other hand... 

"martin! help me please!" he shouted as gave his friend the controller. 

they were currently filming a video and playing until dawn for the upcoming week. martin did the controls while hamzah yapped his ear off until he asked about the time. 

"it's like 9, why? are you celebrating something today?" he asked, both their eyes focused on the screen. 

hamzah wasn't completely sure as to why you guys were meeting up at 8 pm today. he thought about it the whole day. 

"i don't actually know... but i have to go now." the curly-haired boy stood up from his seat, ready to leave until mandy entered the apartment, eyes immediately falling on their recurring guest. "hamzah, what the hell are you doing here?" she said as she took her shoes off. 

"uhhh..." 

"isn't it you and y/n's first anniversary today?" then everything clicks. he doesn't even bother saying goodbye to the couple, immediately leaving to go to their favorite restaurant to see if you were still there. 

the worker said you had left 20 minutes ago. he mentally cursed himself.

he drove to your apartment building as fast as he could. once he arrived, he rang your doorbell and knocked on your door multiple times. you were so sure it would've gotten your neighbors worried. 

yet, you stayed. you stayed in your bedroom like how you stayed in that restaurant, waiting for him to arrive.

"y/n, i know you can hear me. i'm sorry, please open the door." his voice was muffled. 

you could still hear him knocking on your door even after 20 minutes. it seemed like he wasn't going to give up. so you get up from your bed and unlocked your door. 

when it swung open, your eyes were a bit red, sniffling softly as you faced him. guilt was running through his veins at the sight of you crying over him on your anniversary. 

"i'm sorry babe, i got caught with youtube-"

"no hamzah, it's always youtube and i see it now. i see what's more important." you cut him off. your arms were crossed and eyebrows knitted.

"i-it will always be youtube first before me right?" you choked as you said the words, tears welling up in your eyes. 

his eyes soften when tears start to fall down, reaching out to wipe them but you move away from his touch and flinch at his hand coming close to you. 

there was a pause between you two. hamzah opens his mouth to speak until he hears you sniffle. 

"i'm sorry y/n," was the only thing he could get out, feeling his heart fall to the pit of his stomach when you finally looked up at him. "i'll make it up to you i promise." his hands reached to hold yours, placing soft pecks.

you look at him blankly, trying your best to not give in and wrap your arms around him. 

"go home, hamzah." 

it's been three days since you've last seen hamzah. 

he knew you would always want space after every fight but he didn't know how much space you wanted this time. the image of you crying in front of him remained in his mind. he knew he messed up badly.

and so, the past few days, he would leave a fresh bouquet of flowers outside your apartment door and send a paid delivery of your favorite food. he also sent you good morning/night messages and would still update you on his whereabouts.

the small gestures made you miss him more. 

both your absences in your lives had left a void and made the two of you feel empty. 

you end up calling him and he tells you to come over to his place and to wear the dress he didn't get to see and that he'll be fetching you at 8.

the day went quickly and here you were, waiting outside your apartment building. 

when hamzah arrived, he immediately got out of the car and opened your door for you. 

the drive to his apartment was faster than you expected. the two of you didn't speak in the car the entire time, wanting to save everything when you were at his place. 

when he parked the car, he didn't get out of it yet. taking a deep breath then turning to look at you. the dress you wore exposed your thighs with the big slit it had on the side and it hugged you perfectly. 

it drove him insane. you could feel his eyes on you, so you looked up at him. "something wrong?" you asked teasingly, a smirk making its way to your face. 

hamzah cleared his throat before looking away from you. "nothing, let's go." you got out of the car first, not bothering to wait for your boyfriend to open it for you. 

a hand was over his mouth as he watched you sway your hips as you walked. it was like you were doing it on purpose. when you got to his apartment unit, you felt his hands making their way to where they were usually; your waist. 

his hands grazed your waist to the curve of your hips. "you're so beautiful..." he whispered, placing soft kisses on your shoulder up to your neck.

you close your eyes and let out a sigh as he continued to nip at your neck. 

he pulls you closer to his body, lips still on your neck. “hamzah…” your hands tangle in his curls, trying to push him away but he moves to kiss your lips, sucking your bottom lip. the two of you makeout aggressively to the point your teeth clash with each other. 

you were kissing each other for so long, you didn’t notice his hands sliding down to your ass and squeezing it as he pulled you closer to him. 

your hands reach for his tucked button-up shirt, trying to take it off and be even closer to him than you already are. his lips trailed down to your jaw, neck, and collarbone. 

“wanna take this to my room?” he asks you, hands caressing your neck. 

you nod and he holds your hand and takes you there but you see what he has set up on his dining table. “aw, i didn’t know you had something prepared.” you said softly as he closed the door of his bedroom. 

“yeah, wanted to make it up to you,” he said sheepishly, sitting down on his bed as he slowly took off his clothes. 

your eyes soften and you make your way towards him, slotting yourself in between his legs then sitting on his thigh. you place a hand on his cheek and pull him in for another kiss—this time it was softer and slower than the one earlier. 

you whine into the kiss when he slips his tongue in your mouth and you slightly roll your hips on his thigh. 

he reaches for the zipper of your dress, pulling it down before kissing down to your chest. you let out a soft moan as his lips started sucking and leaving open-mouthed kisses on your chest while he had his hands on your hips. 

hamzah starts pulling the sleeves of your dress down, letting you stand up first to take it off completely while he does the same. 

he lays on his bed, only in his boxers, and pulls you to sit on his lap. 

you straddle his lap, sitting down on his crouch, and his hands are on your hips once again. you were left in only your panties as the bra would be too obvious if you wore one under your dress.

he placed kisses all over your neck to your chest before taking one of your nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the bud while he played with your other boob. you whine, digging your nails into his shoulders. 

he trailed kisses until he reached your underwear, looking up for permission. "just touch me hamzah, please," you moaned out, your hands in his hair, pushing him to where you needed him.

he places an open-mouthed kiss on your clothed heat, making you arch your back and tug on his curls. he then takes your underwear off before he proceeds to lap and suck your folds. his tongue swirls around while his thumb rubbed circles on your clit. 

when he started fucking you with his tongue, you kept squirming, his arms wrapped around your thighs as he tried keeping your legs wide open. "hamzah, it's too much," he continues moving his tongue in and out of you, starting to feel himself harden at the sounds you were making.

you start bucking your hips up his face until he stops. 

he begins to take his boxers off, stroking himself for a bit before lining up your entrance. he slides in slowly, watching your face contort as he stretches you open. 

you place your hands on his shoulders as leverage, staying for a while to let you adjust. he kissed you before he started moving in and out of you.

it was slow and gentle, he held one of your legs to his hips to go even deeper while your arms were wrapped around his neck and your fingers tangled in his black curls. 

he placed kisses on your neck once again, sucking at the skin by your pulse before moving down to leave more marks on your chest. 

after a few minutes, his pace started getting faster, the bed's headboard hitting the wall with every thrust he made. 

your moans started getting louder and your legs now wrapped around his torso while his arms wrapped around your body to hold you even closer.

"so tight," he groans as he removes his arms around you and pinned your hips down to the bed to fuck you harder. 

your jaw was slack as you moaned out his name loudly, you were sure his neighbors would already have an idea what you guys were doing but you couldn't care less. 

hamzah's thrusts started to get sloppier, untangling your legs from his torso and pressing his chest against yours as he slowly started to feel the knot in his abdomen. 

a few more thrusts and you come undone, your tight walls clenching around him which then made him spill inside you. 

his head falls to your shoulder, both of you trying to catch your breath. 

"i'm sorry," you hear him mumble before he slides out of you, laying beside you for a while. 

"i know i've been caught up in work and it wasn't an excuse to forget about our anniversary," he sits up a bit, pulling your body to his side so you two could cuddle.

"so, i'm sorry, i really am," you look up at him, a slight frown on his face. 

you place a hand on his cheek and smile. "i love you." he tells you, pecking the palm on your cheek before you place a kiss on his lips. 

"i love you, hamzah." the two of you stay in bed for a while, masking in the post-sex haze. 

after a while of cuddling and sharing a few kisses, you speak. 

"wanna eat what you prepared now?"

✶ taglist — @cdbabymp3 @noturbabe22 @dabuggh3 @kingvioleta @tumb1rgir1z @mfcherry LMK IF U WANNA BE ADDEDDD!!!

[joliettes]

Cold • A.A.

Wife!Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader (AU)

PALESTINE DO NOT BUY TLOU

AO3 MASTERLIST

Summary: it hits you after a couple of years being happily married to Abigail Anderson, the daughter of the most infamous man on the countryside. that maybe it wasn’t happiness, and that maybe she’s hiding something from you.

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, MINORS DNI ,ANGST, INFIDELITY, GUNS, reader getting called a whore, lowk traumatic, Abby being unfaithful and downright rude.

Rating: EXPLICIT!!

Word Count: 3.05k

A/N: hey y'all, idk how to feel about this one….this is my first fic ever, i've basically taught myself English, anywhoo have fun reading y'all, luv yaa, likes and reblogs are very appreciated.

(this fic was written while listening to Cold by Chris Stapleton)

waking up to feeling up the right side of the bed trying to get closer to your wife. nothing greets you but utter coldness. no head kisses or the pleadings of five more minutes, not even a kiss goodbye.

dread fills you stomach while you look at the bedrooms door, getting up and asking yourself if you made a mistake that’ll make your wife go to work without waking you up with her kisses. leaving you needy and promising you that she’ll reward you with the best of time the minute she’s back.

you put on your clothes and your boots, going to check on the livestock. pathetic that you need them to cheer you up.

tending to the chickens for a bit, before checking on your horse Bear. gifted to you by Abby's father on your last birthday.

he always had a soft spot for you as a feared man, he’s the most gentle with you and showed his support to your marriage.

you scratch at his head, while he tries to stick his chin to into your palm, making you giggle a bit before you head inside to get dressed properly to go pick up some necessities from the farm market.

walking into the market you greet the farmer

“howdy lady Anderson”

“well hello mister Banks, I'm just here to pick up the usual, I'm a little bit short of tomatoes and beans, making Abigail's favorite dish today” you smile at the thought of her.

“she is most certainly lucky to have you for a wife lady Anderson.”

you smile it him waiting patiently, he comes back with more then you asked for, handing them to u and shooing you away

“don’t even worry about it, i’ve put more in there of your favourite fruits, go enjoy them”

you saunter your way back to the farm, knowing that Abigail won't be home for another two hours or so, the feeling of dread still haunting you while you try to brush it off.

she's been your wife for a good while now, you can sense something’s new happening that she’s not telling you about, she’s been constantly on edge lately.

you do not want to give into the feeling and ruin the happy facade that should be greeting your wife when she get's home.

you get the food ready, laying it on the table wiping you hands on the apron you've got on, you head to the bathroom to freshen up, taking off the apron folding it neatly lest Abby jokingly mocks you for always leaving your stuff all over the place.

you come out wearing a comfortable attire and right on time you hear Abby's footsteps that you know very well, your heart jumps with excitement of seeing her, you give her a moment to unwind tending to your hair before you walk out of the bedroom's bathroom and into the Livingroom's area.

seeing her standing there with undereye bags, obviously very wound up from today's work whatever it is, she looks very disheveled you walk up to her towering form.

"hey baby how was work today" hugging her hunched form while she takes off her boots before she stand up, wrapping her arms around your waist, smelling her soap of pine on your neck. you lean back locking eyes with her patiently, you tilt you head at her pouty face.

"well you know my dad but it was alright, nothing more then work"

you hum at her, nodding at the table "i made your favorite, just the way you like it" before you tilt your head for a smooch she looks at you reluctantly before giving you one.

your eyes widen before concealing the feeling of shock over how this is the first time she doesn't kiss you willingly, or asks for another one in return, you keep your hands on her chest fixing her collar and unbuttoning the top three buttons for her.

before your eyes catch on a spot of red maroon lipstick. the look of fear written all over you face, spit piling up in your mouth you feel that you might puke, you start pawing at her shirts collar pinching it between your fingers. trying to wipe it off to no avail.

she notices the frantic look in your eyes "wha-" before glancing at your fingers that are now painted with the remnants of the lip print left on her,  clearing her throat before gently sliding your hands off of her, and walking to sit down at the table, taking off her hat, laying it down on the table.

while your form is still there where you greeted her by the door, in absolute disbelief, you've never worn a red maroon lipstick.

and it might've been one imprint but it felt like it was all over her, and now it was all over your fingers. laughing at you for doing everything you could to keep your wife happy, just for you to be greeted like this.

she clears her throat looking at you before extending her arm to you with a pleading look "come sit down honey." you try to muster the ability to move, walking to her slowly accepting the defeat she made you feel, holding her hand where the sun hits her face painting her as a martyr, a goddess you had no problem worshiping. day and night, and that's how she reward's you.

you try to sit on the chair opposite her but she pulls you into her lap wrapping her left arm on your midsection, feeling her breath on your neck before she kisses your cheek and your neck in small quick kisses, you think that maybe this is her way of apologizing.

 getting off of her lap you walk to the counter pouring yourself a glass of wine

"really you're gonna drink this? instead of keeping me company and sitting down with me?" 

"i am with you Abby, i am always with but it seems that you're the one drifting away from me" holding the cup close to you. trying to feel an ounce of comfort, you feel none.

she shrugs you off and starts eating like a hungry wolf which tells you of how hungry she is, you pour her a cup of water before she chokes on the food you cooked for her eagerly, wanting nothing but to please her.

just to now hand her the cup with disdain written all over your face.

"what's her name?" 

she hums not getting who you're asking about "who's name honey" her mouth full of food.

"the whore that dared to fucking kiss you with her red lipstick just for me to see" your voice trembling and you can't but find yourself choking up and tears start filling your sad eyes.

she wipes her mouth with the cloth before gulping the last of cold water you've given her, giving you the coldest stare she could ever give you

"you better watch your mouth honey, don't forget who gave you this" twirling her finger all over the place as a means to remind you to just be thankful, telling you that you are her property now.

when she's done been claimed by someone other then you, her whole presence feels different to you.

you shake your head hurriedly. "jerry won't like that you're being unfaithful to me"

tears streaming down your face, trying to calm your frantic breathing thinking about whoever that gave her a reason to be exactly that to you.

unfaithful.

she snorts at you making you look at her " so you think my dad will like you accusing his only child and successor? of fucking infidelity?" her voice rises with each word she utters. eye bloodshed with no feeling of remorse or a hint of sadness.

she stands up putting the cup down off of your hand, holding your hand in her's, prompting you to look at her while touching your knuckles tenderly.

"i need you here, she means nothing to me, you’re the one i yearn for day and night honey"

bringing your hand to her mouth, kissing each of your knuckles slowly.

looking at you from under her eyebrows, with darkened eyes. she kisses your ring cladded finger as means of reminding you.

you look at her teary eyed, heart broken like no other motherfucker in this damned land, never knew she could ever be so cruel to you, feeling her coldness evaporating into your pores.

you smile at her weakly before she starts wiping you tears messily chuckling at you, obviously not taking your feeling in consideration 

the sun starts to set as the weather gets colder by the minute, making you shiver in her hold.

she tightens her arms around your waist. leading you into the bedroom you glance at the wall where she keeps her shotgun hanging off of it like a trophy.

you shake your head of the ill thought that just came up into your mind, jerry will have your head if he finds out that you're even considering doing it.

she starts undressing and you watch her go into the bathroom turning the water to take her usual cold shower, leaving you to tend to you wounded self.

getting ready for bed. you sit on the rocking chair facing the slightly left open bathroom door.

watching her tall figure under the water stream, in any other day she'll beg to take it with her and you'll do so willingly.

getting lathered up in her favorite pine soap, letting her pin you to the wall just the way she desires you to be. breathing hard from her loving on your body the way she likes. having your heated bodies under the cold stream of water. 

you start chewing on your nail, tears welling up in your tired eyes. with the thought of how you and Abby met.. whispers of how she can treat better then anyone on this forsaken land, hushed words of pure love between the two of you.

she introduced you to her father even after you've voiced your concern of him not taking a liking to you, he ends up gifting you a horse for your birthday. after you've pointed at how much you like horses.

she was very eager to settle down with you, seeing you as the perfect choice for her, was it a friend of hers that oh so innocently gave her a kiss on her shirt’s collar, or is it a new woman whom catched Abby's attention?

a woman who's just passing by that she felt she wont linger too long, so she can have as much fun as she could with her?

you notice Abby coming out of the bathroom with a towel around her hips, wiping your eyes as to not let her see you still thinking about what happened, you get up to light the candles.

you see her sitting down on the bed. putting on her pants and giving you a come hither motion, candles lit you walk to her and sit in her lap facing her with you hands on her shoulder's, she holds you waist in both of her palms. running them up and down your waist looking in your eyes intently, as a means of reading what you're thinking of.

"you're mad at me honey"

"n-no i could never Abby, i swear"

she moves her hand to hold at the back of your neck harshly

"you swear for me huh? think you could make a fool out of me?"

"no no Abby i swear i love you i-i swear"  you reach back holding her hand trying to get her to ease her hold on you, her piercing eyes looking into yours.

"awh baby you love me, but you had to ruin the day for us didn't you?"

she kisses you, your body going slack on top of her naked chest, kissing her always made you feel at ease even in tense situations. humming into your mouth she starts kissing down you neck while you hold into her wet hair, you start moving your hips on top of hers for a lick of friction but getting none.

"h-hah Abby please" 

you know you shouldn't even be here, on top of her. begging her for more, you should get on bear and ride as far as you could.

but you know it'll only be a failed attempt before the Anderson's find you and drag you back to Abby, you'll only disappoint jerry by running away. no one to turn to making them practically your only family. with nothing under your name, u are helpless.

you decide to give Abby what she wants, whatever she'll do you'll take willingly, she flips you on your back undressing you on top of your marital bed, leaving her paw prints all over your naked body making you clutch on the pillow hard from her intense way of loving you, not letting up until you writhe under her.

trying to not ruin the moment by remembering the woman with the red lips.

she kisses your head goodnight and snuggles into you holding your midsection for life, catching a glimpse outside the window, you see nothing but utter darkness and the shades of the trees, no sound other then her slow breathing and the sizzling of the candles burning, you get up with trembling legs sliding her arm off of you. 

as quietly as you could you stand in front of the shotgun, contemplating and questioning your choices, if you are really willing to do this.

"fuck it" you mutter to yourself before picking up the shotgun, checking the bullets, you think of how Abby should've never taught you how to shoot, you bet she'll never see it coming.

how foolish of you to think that.

the moment you go back to the room, you see her sat leaning on the wall with her silenced gun in her paw. you try to conceal the shiver that runs through you at her burning gaze.

you try to square up your shoulder, failing as her mouth starts to tilt upwards as a mocking gesture, still pointing the gun at her.

entering the room, she shakes the handgun at u "u thought u were smart didn't cha honey?" she looks at where u were lying down and then back at you. 

shaking her head disappointingly "your father won't be proud, hell my father won't be proud if we die, at each other's mercy." she clicks the gun making you flinch.

she stays silent for a moment before clicking her tongue and continuing.

"she has the most beautiful green eyes you've ever seen honey, it was very hard for me to reject her advances"  

" then let me go Abigail...please?" you look into her eyes pleadingly you know the outcome but you can't help but beg her for mercy on your soul, she points the gun at your head.

"we're both stuck my love, you by duty and me by love" 

you lower the shotgun, laughing out loud at her dumb poetic remark. leaning with your hands on your knees laughing frantically while she looks at you quizzically with a smile on her lips.

"by love? wha- what fucking love are you talking about, in this state Abigail? i stay at this forsaken farm, tending to you, your fucking spoiled chickens, sucking up to you and your lineage just to get by" firing a bullet at the wall in a moment of pure rage you drop the shotgun running out of the room, hearing the bed creak.

unlocking the door and running out onto the cold grass tickling your feet uncomfortably, it is raining heavily.

you glance behind you while running to the staples to get to bear, she's behind you with only her pants on, aiming the shotgun at your running form, your heart thudding with fear as you trip on your own feet trying to get up just to trip again, Abby is right there in front of your cowering form

"a-abby i'm s-sorry" you plead at her

"no you fucking aren't, you wanna act like a whore? because trust me honey, i'll treat you like one"

she brings the shotgun to your shoulder, nudging at your shivering form as if you were infected with something greater then fear.

“get up and walk, you do not want to get on that horse of yours” she spits her words at you.

looking at her questioning your choice of marrying her you try to stand up, she yanks you straight holding your arm tightly, cutting the blood circulation from your arm.

“a-aw” you wince

“you wanna get on that horse? well i’ll just have to shoot the both of you”

walking you inside double locking the door and hanging the shotgun as if nothing happened.

“go shower before you get into bed” she goes to wash her hands and feet, comes out of the bathroom nodding towards the wide open bathroom door.

you get in and wash your hair and body hyperventilating under the stream of the shower, cursing yourself time and time again trying to cry as silently as u could. 

you get out of the bathroom with a towel around your body, looking everywhere but at her.

you wear the first thing you find in your shared drawers, getting under the covers hugging your shivering body tightly, before she cuddles into you.

oh how defeated you just felt, you could only imagine the life you could’ve built….far away from the Andersons.

[mushyposts]

WOAH! THE CREW???? THE CREW FROM HIT FANFICTION NO THING DEFINES A MAN LIKE LOVE??? WOAH WOAH WOAH??? Anyway yes omg its them!!! This took me so long and im so tired but look at my ANGELS!

UM! Friendly reminder that I myself am not Inuit/Indigenous! I did research + had an Indigenous person helping me w the tattoos, but if theres anything wrong/disrespectful pls do let me know and I will fix it. All the tattoos r on a seperate layer so it'll be an easy fix and one i am more then happy to do. A few of the designs changed between this and my written description, so... Oops?? Especially Morqa. I got carried away ok.... ANYWAY I have some little notes abt their designs here and there so! Kaiqa: He used to have shorter bangs around his face but they annoyed him so he tried to let them grow out but that annoyed him so he would cut them again and then try to let them grow out and now he just has perpetual baby hairs that wont get any longer. Mikla: UM. Not much to say here. Isnt he pretty tho?? Buteq: SOMEHOW ENDED UP THE MOST MAJESTIC MAN EVER. HELLO?? The two beads on the right are for his nieces and the one on the left is for his sister! Neter: One time he got super cocky abt being 7 years older then Nitya which meant he was a better fighter and so Nitya was like "yeah?? ok bet." and then punched him and broke his nose and was like "hm where are those warrior reflexes?" so now Neter has a permanently bent nose. Sorqai: He got the scar thats through his beard in the same raid that cause Nitya and Konait (Kaiqas older brother) to die. Nitya died trying to get Konait and some other kids out of the mess, and Sorqai got injured trying to get to them to help. He's mostly numb on that side of his face due to nerve damage ! Causes him to lisp a bit, especially w the chipped tooth (which he got from tripping) Natai: He wears both his own and Nitya's necklaces their parents made them, and intends to only take of Nitya's and let it go into the ocean where he was buried when the war is over. His own way of keeping Nitya involved in the war effort, something that was really important to him. Kutai: Again, no real notes here but isnt he pretttyyy..... Kovak: Honestly, very likely one of my favourite character designs I've ever made. Im kind of obsessed with him. He doesnt wear his necklace from his parents because he wasnt on good terms with them at all while they were alive. He took it off before they died, and hasnt been able to bring himself to put it back on. he intends to give it to his kid when he gets back. Mori: UM! I dont have a lot of notes here. Mori has two kids ! Hence the three tattoos under their chin, I saw an inuit creator/source say that sometimes people will add lines as they have kids and I thought that was really lovely so yes!! Again im just. I think hes so pretty. Luqait: Im so sorry king I did u dirty posting this after that one chapter. Each one of the beads he wears is dedicated to someone he knew in the tribe who died, theres more not visible on the other side of the braids. I can say for 100% certainty theres one for Kya and Nitya. Saila: Saila was actually a design i struggled a lot with, but I think I got them to a point im happy with!!! They're a good amount intense, androgynous and also have that amber flash in their eyes. The amber comes from having Fire Nation somewhere in their ancestry, something I dont think will really come up in the fic, but a detail I think is good to know! Morqa: I changed Morqa's design the most, especially his hair! But I think he's ended up being a design I am most proud of. The piercings especially!! Eventually u will run out of space (that we can see ig??) king but today is not that day godbless.

OKAY! THERE WE GO... I HOPE EVERYONE LIKES THEM UM PLS BE NICE AND DONT REPOST AND IDK JUST.... I HOPE U LIKE THEM AS MUCH AS I DO i know oc's in fics arent always peoples favourites but the reception of these guys has been like. Beyond mindblowing. Im so fucking excvited and happy everytime people in my comments talk about how much they love the characters i've created. Like.... The fact that people enjoy the OC's and not just for what the give to Zuko, but for what they give to each other and their own individual stories is so incredible to me. I hope u guys like this and I hope it helps u visualise them better!! : D

[magicalrocketships]

☔

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

Oh, I'm sure I've talked about this before but L U C K I L Y I retain zero information, particularly when I'm tired, so this means I get to explain it again.

SO, the plot which I won't ever write because it gets pretty dark and it also requires me to make up an injury (I got the idea from the first series of Chicago Fire, where the dude whose name I've forgotten (no, really, I retain no information anymore) has a life-changing made-up ?neck? injury where he requires surgery and it will take one year+ to recover from the surgery so he self-medicates and then it's miraculously fixed by a dazzling new surgery in one episode after making it an entire plot for an entire season):

Canon divergence somewhere along the way, maybe the pandemic doesn't happen, maybe he never really got as publicly involved in streaming, whatever, but what's key is that Max doesn't have anything really going on outside of racing and it's this year

So Daniel's left RB/Mcl, and Max is focused focused focused on racing and maybe he gets his first world championship a year earlier but whatever happens, he doesn't build that strong sense of home outside of racing (no cats, no partner, no online streaming, just what's becoming an unhealthy focus on racing and winning at all costs)

Then there's an accident. It happens off-track, so it's not a racing incident, and it's not Max's fault. His car gets hit. And Max is injured. He breaks something in his neck (I am assured this injury does not exist in the manner employed by Chicago Fire. For the purpose of this imaginary not-to-be-written fic, it 100% exists).

Max is told he can't race, maybe forever, but likely for at least a year post surgery

(and at this point I'm just going to c&p from the chat fic doc I saved months and months ago, and it's going under a cut with a content warning here for suicidal thoughts, some mention of disordered eating and childhood abuse, look after yourself, pals)

surviving to drive: the max verstappen recovery story (~3k)

Anyway max realises that he has exactly one (1) thing in his life, racing, and it's just come crashing down and he's v emotionally unhealthy as we know and has nothing else going on so when he loses racing he believes there is literally no other reason to keep going plus he's in hospital

anyway daniel ignores all of max's emotionally unhealthy bans on hospital visitors and sneaks in to see him and he's like... "something is very wrong here"

he leaves and max thinks he's chased him away but then daniel comes back later that day and he's like, "you don't have to have the surgery in this hospital, you can have it done in any of these places *presents a list* so pick a place and we'll go there instead"

so yeah they just go somewhere else and daniel rents them a house and just hangs out with a secretly suicidal max who sees precisely no reason to wake up every morning if he's not racing

and daniel has precisely zero idea that max is still here/alive/whatever just because daniel is there every night and every morning and max doesn't want daniel to have to see him like that

ANYWAY max is very clearly not in a good place and his dad sends him messages telling him how he can improve his recovery and get better faster

it becomes more difficult for max to hide the fact that he's alive mostly by virtue of not being dead right now

and he's had the surgery or whatever and he's looking at a 12 month recovery so he's definitely out for the whole of the next season so daniel's like, "It doesn't matter how long recovery takes, take your time" which of course he has precisely zero idea of how to deal with since he's been racing so long and has nothing else in his life

Something happens idk he breaks a glass and Daniel finds him with cut hands and a piece of glass idk and Daniel's like, "a new crisis! I can help with that! this is clearly not something that max has been dealing with daily for weeks now, it's a new thing!"

so he's like, IT'S THERAPY TIME BABY, no more clutching a handful of broken glass and bleeding everywhere, superdaniel is here to help

yada yada finds max a therapist and max HATES IT, HAAAAATES IT, he's uncomfortable and the therapist makes him feel worse and he still wants to like... not be here if he can't race today, he can't wait a whole year

and daniel asks him how it's going and Max lies because why wouldn't he and he's been doing miserable things his entire life that he didn't want to do so what's another thing on top of everything else

meanwhile Daniel's like... hmmmm this is scary Max looks worse

and he sits in on a therapy session and half way through he's like, "nope, we're ending this, sorry, bye, you can have the money for the whole hour but we're never speaking to you again"

points out to Max that that therapist was awful and why didn't Max just tell him how awful it was and how it made him feel

Max, who's never had a choice over anything in his entire life: "..."

anyway he gets max to try another couple of therapists and in the end there's one who is NOT monstrously awful and does not make Max feel like he wants to scratch his own skin off

so Max gets THERAPY and it becomes clear that max's childhood was weaponised beyond belief and he doesn't even know what foods he likes and doesn't like

because he never got a choice and he was always on some kind of food plan that his dad could withhold or not according to how max was doing in every other area of his life

well of course, he gets a whole year of therapy and it turns out his dad was an abusive asshole and he is BLOCKED from Max's phone

and Max has to do things like "make sure his life has more than just racing in it"

so he reads a book

the first one he's ever read

he tries food and tries to figure out if he likes it or if it's just a source of energy he has to eat anyway

he gets a PLANT

it DIES

anyway whatever he gets therapy and he lives in a house with daniel and is allowed to feel some things because he never really felt anything before

and daniel goes off and does some promo stuff idk and films some shit from the house and max is maybe in the background or something and no one's heard from him in ages and in fandom it's all like MAX IS IN DANIEL'S HOUSE etc

and the drive to survive people get in touch and are like, can we interview you for the series even if you're not on the grid, do some stuff about your recovery etc etc

and max is like... i guess

he's not, like, actively suicidal any more because his life has actual pillars of stuff that isn't just racing

his life isn't just like dependent on one jenga tower of racing with the pieces falling down

like, he can't wait to get back to racing but he's like, six months in to therapy or whatever and he's been living with daniel and it's... nice to just... watch movies with him and eat stuff and play computer games (daniel banned racing games so max has had to... compromise)

and maybe there are some... warm feelings

some best friend shit when he's never had real time for a best friend

some "i could probably spend more time with daniel in a forever kind of a way and not get tired of it" you know

BUT ALSO, daniel blowing up his life for max, he saw max in that hospital room and didn't once question what it would mean to him to step back and just... fuck shit up so that max would be okay

anyway drive to survive team show up and they do a bit of interviewing and it is VERY CLEAR that this isn't a natural fit for an episode because Max has, for once, got some shit to say

so they come back with an idea for a spin off documentary that's just Max and this injury and getting back to driving

because Daniel has kind of been fielding red bull this whole time, saying "he's not racing this year, leave him alone, give him some space", and he's got to go out and talk to them or do some promo stuff with them, whatever, he's going away

Max says the timing is good because he can do the main body of the interviewing about what's come before etc, then Daniel can come back and do his bits

and then the docu team are like, "where do you think you'd be right now if you hadn't crashed" and Max looks at the camera and says, "dead, I think" and the team know they're on to a winner because Max has realised that actually, driving like you don't care if you're alive if you don't win isn't actually okay

anyway Max does the documentary interviews and Daniel comes back and Max tells him he can talk about whatever he wants, it's fine but when the team ask him about helping Max when he realised he wasn't coping, Daniel won't give any details and says it's Max's story to tell and he just wanted to make sure his best friend was okay

not realising that he looks very much in love during this idk

ANYWAY SOME TIME PASSES and they do a bit more documentary stuff and Max is preparing to race again and Daniel is doing some stuff with red bull and he flies out somewhere to do an interview and photoshoot for some magazine or other.

The first clips from the documentary are released and they're on youtube and clipped up for instagram and Max posts them but the first picture is just like, 'this contains discussion of suicidal thoughts' etc

Daniel is preparing for this photoshoot and interview

anyway the first clip is about Max in hospital and they go straight in for the kill, Max saying, "I didn't want to live if I couldn't race.

"I didn't want to see anyone, I didn't want to speak to anyone, I shouted at the nurses, I just wanted to get somewhere so I could figure out how not to wake up again. And then Daniel walked in.

"He didn't know how bad it was, he didn't know anything specific, but he knew something was wrong and he got me out of there and he brought me here and got my surgery moved. And he didn't know he saved my life that day. He won't know until he sees this. But he saved my life that day."

END OF CLIP ONE, start of clip two

"You were suicidal," the interviewer says

"Yes," Max says. "The only thing that stopped me was that I didn't want Daniel to find me. He'd moved me to a different hospital and he'd rented this place for us so it was close to the doctors, and every day I woke up and he never knew that he kept me alive just by being here."

"But he found out in the end."

"Not how bad it was. Just that it was bad. And he got me help. And when that help didn't work, he got me more help. He's the best friend I've ever had, and I still haven't been able to tell him how bad it got."

end of clip two, start of clip three

except this clip is DANIEL

"I snuck in to see him in hospital. he wasn't doing great. He was kind of lost, and I didn't really know what I could do, but, like, I figured he needed some space so I got him some. Different hospital, different views, nothing to remind him about racing."

"But he was struggling?"

"Yeah," Daniel says. "He struggled. It was hard to see him when he couldn't race. He's my best friend. It was hard when he wasn't doing so well. But he's doing great now."

smile smile etc Daniel being happy

then a final max clip i think

"Do I still have that drive to win? God, yes. I'm going to win. That hasn't changed. I just want to live as well. I want to wake up tomorrow, and the next day, and the one after that, and win."

then a final slide with the documentary logo on and some suicide prevention helplines, idk

ANYWAY imagine Daniel, if you will, at a photography studio about to have pictures taken, crying his eyes out in the toilets because he's just found out Max wanted to die

so Daniel, who is always very professional, entirely bails on both the photo shoot and the interview so he can go home because he needs to see max

and Max lent him his plane because that's a normal thing excessively rich world champions have so it's not a fucking nightmare getting back from... wherever the interview is, somewhere not that far away in europe

and Daniel chooses to respond to Max's documentary clips on instagram

[ASIDE, my beloved friend as I was telling her this over Telegram, in response to that above: WHY????

Me: because this is MY 4am hurt comfort fic baby]

so anyway he makes a text post that just says Max is the bravest and best person he knows, he's fought so hard to be here, and that there hasn't been a day in Daniel's whole entire life that would have been better if Max wasn't here on this planet, and he's so glad he stayed

and then another one which is like, if anyone else feels like they don't want to go on, please stay, people love you, here's some helpline numbers etc

and Max just replies to him with a blue heart

important to understand that this is my four am comfort fic so it is ENTIRELY appropriate that Daniel walks through the door and both hugs him and starts to cry

and Max hugs him back but does not cry because Max has broken through a lot of shit in therapy but he is not a crier

but he IS accidentally in love with Daniel

and Max makes some Choices in his life, as Daniel does, but this choice involves touching Daniel's cheek and glancing at his mouth and then up at Daniel and Daniel kind of nodding and then there is a KISS

which is badly timed really considering that today has been very emotional and Daniel is still crying and has been travelling etc and they've never actually addressed any of this

so Daniel needs a moment and he goes into the bathroom to stare manfully into the mirror and wash his hands and face and when he comes out Max doesn't let him say anything, just launches into a multi point in-person powerpoint about how they should be together

[my friend: maxplaining his way into a relationshippp]

which Daniel, it turns out, entirely agrees with, but he's really kind of emotionally burnt out right now and would really just like a hug and a sit down, so he tells Max yes, of course, but could they just talk about it later and hug right now

How good is Max at listening to instuctions to stop talking?

not marvellous it turns out but daniel kind of likes it when max gets enthusiastic about stuff

even if the stuff in this case is a multipoint argument in favour of them being quite gay together

OH OH OH now we skip forward a bit

to when Max is racing again

first or second race out there for red bull

and daniel is kind of tied to red bull again

anyway Max WINS

hurray etc he's a conquering hero with a recovered broken neck

so once he's out of the car idk he's done the bit with the team and he spies daniel and goes over to hug him, which the cameras in general love, and then he goes off to do some kind of next step celebratory thing, cool-down room, whatever

only partway there he's like... um

has a feeling, one or two, you know the kind of thing

max hasn't historically been very good at feelings

or healthy choices

but anyway, he decides to act on this one, which is to go back to where Daniel is, and kiss him

which is as much of a surprise to daniel as it is to the whole of the media who are still around to film him

and then Max just turns back around and heads for the podium, so there's a very nice accidental shot of Daniel, afterwards, just smiling and ducking his head and touching his thumb to his lip

which turns into a very popular gif

for reasons

Anyway!! there is a LOT of discussion about Max losing his edge now his focus is not only racing

the documentary talks a lot about Max's childhood abuse and limited food intake etc etc but doesn't mention his dad by name

Daniel races again somehow but probably not in the fic

daniel ends up losing some bet or other and has to do a computer game live stream from his living room of some cosy game idk and the whole thing is interupted by max just living his life in the background

max getting up and sleepily saying morning, max going for a run and kissing him hello, max going in and out of the sim, idk, the two of them making weird noises at each other because they still do that

OH I forgot they buy a house together like immediately after getting together

somewhere green again and it's in both their names because they've lived together for a year already and whatever

and still don't tell anyone they're together even though red bull has them residing at the same address

and ZERO people realise until after the kiss on screen

and obviously the docu clips suggest they've been staying together

and Max gets to say to Christian that they literally own a house together when he expresses some degree of surprise at kissing in public

not their fault no one noticed

Forgot to say that max and Daniel get filmed driving about and max stalls his car and doesn’t know if he likes olives and maybe they forget they’re being filmed

And also that when the documentary finally airs all its eps Netflix on Twitter are like “lol bet you can’t figure out which bits we filmed after they got together and which were before because we certainly can’t, lol”

And Daniel’s in the comments, like “do I get a prize if I get it right”

He gets 9/10 clips right but no one but max knows

Anyway when they buy their house max has zero shits to give about the decor so daniel just gets a decorator in and the only thing max wants is a fancy catio for when they’re not there and his new cats want to go outside

Daniel arranges this because he’s a sucker for max.

anyway that's general plot of surviving to drive: the max verstappen recovery story, the end.

[newwavesylviaplath]

more dumb music opinions!! this is long and ik most of u don't care but whatever this is my platform i will post how i see fit. also im not proofreading this at all its 1:26 in the morning and im literally falling asleep as im writing this so apologies in advance if this isn't the most well written or coherent post ive ever made

okay yall i fell down a rabbit hole of people on tiktok criticizing chappell roan and now im all worked up so here i am giving my opinions no one asked for;

so something i've been noticing a real influx of is people bringing up her hot to go performance at outside lands (a festival) where she says something along the lines of "vip thinks they're way too cool to do this.. you're not fun!" mfs have been getting online to talk about how chappell was being SO RUDE!!! and NOT EVERYONE KNOWS HER MUSIC WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS!!!! but like anyone with common sense who has seen the vid/heard the audio can tell she was being playful?? like come on now. i also saw someone post abt how she was being mean to jimmy fallon?? 😭 first off, while im not sure abt this one in particular late night shows are usually scripted and secondly im starting to believe more and more that these people have just never interacted with a drag queen before. chappell roan is a STAGE PERSONA and the majority of drag queens are characterized by having this larger than life attitude- take for example that one rupaul /jimmy fallon interview (u guys know which one) like idk i feel like it's very obvious that chappell is playing it up for the sake of entertainment, not cuz she genuinely believes she's above everyone else.

the other thing i've seen ppl whining about is how a) she doesn't wanna take a picture with fans, therefore she believes her shit doesn't stink and b) the two tiktoks she posted a day ago where she was voicing her struggles openly without policing her tone. first off, CELEBRITIES DONT OWE U PICTURES. don't get me wrong, taking a picture with a celeb u are a fan of can be a great experience and a fun story- but people are acting as if it is their god given right to get a photo with whoever they want whenever they want. "oh well she brought this on herself it's the price of being famous" are u stupid omfg acting like chappell signed a contract giving up her autonomy in order to get on the billboard charts. she quite literally did not choose this and even if she did that doesn't mean ur automatically entitled to a pic with her as if she's some kind of zoo animal like?? the two vids she posted to tiktok essentially telling ppl to leave her alone was met with backlash because she 'sounded rude' again im going to put this in perspective for everyone. her family is being stalked. she is being harassed both online and in real life. being upset because she comes off a little brash in a video where she is practically begging yall to stop with the harassment should be the least of your concerns. this is a twenty six year old who was virtually unknown six months ago- her meteoric rise to fame was not something she could have been prepped for in anyway possible. i feel like some people just aren't trying to wrap their heads around how insane the reality of this situation really is. the phrase "fifteen minutes of fame" used to be a lot more hyperbolic than it is now. i'm exhausted

[lukecvntstellan]

do you reckon u could do a leo x reader fluff plsss 🙏

a/n: this is the first time i've written anything ____ x reader in a LOOONNNGGGGG time... forgive me if i'm rusty. don't be tooo mean i'll probably sob idk

improper grammar probably (not proofread) and written in all lowercase because i dont feel like capitalizing

---

hurt/comfort with leo valdez x reader i guesssss

---

leo had been down on himself recently. him and his significant other had been together almost a year now. as of late he had been locking himself in bunker nine, away from his friends and s/o.

leo had been drowning himself in work, alone in bunker 9, as an excuse for his loneliness. over his music he hears the door swing open, he looks up expecting to see his s/o, but is instead greeted by one of his best friends, piper mclean.

"hey, leo. we noticed you've been spending a lot of time in here... is everything okay?"

the question he knew was coming, but had been dreading.

leo unplugged his radio before saying, "yeah, piper, i've been great. just working on a big project!" trying to feign excitement over his project, which in reality was a pile of scrap metal on his desk that he wasn't quite sure what to do with.

"i'm sorry, but you're the most social out of our friend group? locking yourself in here for days is unusual. y/n has been worried about you. you haven't even spoken to them?"

"okay piper. i'm sorry. okay? i just don't know what to say. you're the only person i've opened up to before. i'm scared y/n would leave me if they knew what was happening. i can't tell them. being with me is already hard enough, i don't need to add on additional burden with the nightmares i've been having..."

despite being "closer" with jason, leo had only ever talked about his feelings with piper before. jason already had enough of his own problems, and never really noticed when leo was going through something.

ever since leo was claimed by his father he had been told by multiple people that he was fated to always be the outsider, never have a place, always the seventh wheel. those words echo through his mind constantly, never ending. because of this, having an s/o was hard. thoughts of "do i deserve this?" "are they going to leave me?" and "am i good enough for them?" were always cycling through his mind.

piper's voice cut through leo's thoughts, "i'm not the one you should be apologizing to. i think you need to talk to them. they're worried about you. do you want to tell me what's been happening first though?"

"do you remember a few months ago i told you about the dreams i had, with hera in them?"

"oh gods.. they're back?"

"yeah... i haven't been sleeping to avoid them. but now i'm so tired and i want to sleep. but i'm scared."

piper moved to give leo a quick hug. "i'm sorry that the dreams are back. i'm gonna get y/n to come talk to you. okay?"

"thanks beauty queen." (**LEOS NORMAL NICKNAME FOR HER IN THE BOOKS**)

as piper was leaving leo walked over to the bed he had made for his late nights in bunker nine, preparing for a conversation he did not want to have.

emotions weren't leo's strong suit. he always tried to be funny and cool to distract from any emotional issues that were happening. no amount of jokes could hide the dark circles under his eyes and his unbrushed hair. he looked rough.

the door opened, and y/n walked in and sat down next to leo. running their hand through his unkempt curls they asked, "are you okay, what's going on? i'm worried about you."

leo laid down, his head in y/n's lap, and their hands gently playing with his hair.

"my dreams have been really bad recently. i haven't been sleeping to avoid them. i'm so tired. i haven't been able to finish any project i've started. i can't do anything right-" leo pointed to the haphazard pile of junk on his desk.

tears started to form, leo tried to blink them away, to no success.

"i guess i've always been insecure? i've been told by hera and nemesis that i'm meant to be this outsider with no role and will always be alone and now i just feel like i don't deserve you. and all my dreams lately have just been those same words on repeat. hera standing there telling me that i'm always going to be the seventh wheel. i'm never going to find my place. i can't take it anymore."

y/n pressed a light kiss to his forehead while contemplating their words.

"leo. you realize that isn't true, right? you DO deserve me. you're not an outsider either, you have a place in our friend group. everyone there loves you. and I love you-"

"love me? you haven't said that before"

"i've been thinking it for a while"

leo couldn't hide the smile that was taking over his face. "really? i love you too, actually, i love you more." he sat up and tackled y/n down on the bed in a hug. "you can't ever leave me now, you're trapped here!" leo said through a laugh.

"you know, i wouldn't dream of it."

"i mean, you probably will. the demigod dreams go kinda crazy."

"you know what i meant, stupid."

"WHAT! you think i'm stupid?" leo protested.

"no. i didn't mean it like that and you know it."

leo shut up after that. being in the arms of his partner after not sleeping for days was making the sleepiness overwhelming. y/n noticed leo drifting off, running their hands through his hair and whispering soft "i love you's" and other sweet nothings.

this was the first night of no nightmares in a week for him :)

---

this is ASSS bc i wrote it at mostly 4am and i dont proofread. the concept is there, the execution isn't.

i love leo i think he deserves some comfort in his life PLEASE

[corninthegob-artchive]

Days pull you down just like a sinking ship

Floating is getting harder

But tread the water, child,

And know that meanwhile

Rises the moon

They don't let u put songs on multi-slide posts, but please know the song I was inspired by is Rises The Moon by Liana Flores.

Please reblog if you like this art :)

Idk if it'd happen like this, but I hope they do "re-dos" of scenes where Ed almost confessed to Stede where Stede ends up confessing to Ed. Obviously, I'll be happy as long as they get a happy ending (jenkins please please please please please i beg of you let them be happy preferably this season pleeeeeaaaaaase), but I feel like the way the show is written, it might actually happen? Which is actually amazing.

I've said it before, but even though I'm only 18, I never had any hope that this kind of directly, unapologetically queer narrative would ever be told on a mainstream scale. Even with progress like Steven Universe, She-Ra, TOH and others, years and years of queerbaiting and censoring and cancellations had thoroughly convinced me that this would never have been possible. The astounding, direct and unavoidable queerness in this show has genuinely given me something to hope for. I can't put it into words how much it has changed my life for my pessimism about something to finally be proven wrong. I know it's just a show, but it represents so much more than that.

All that to say, HBO, if you don't renew OFMD for exactly as many seasons as is needed to complete the story, I am going to cover your studios in tar and honey :) for legal reasons that's a joke

Here's some close-ups. I didn't add the alt text on them because they're the same image, I hope that's appropriate.

[qprpbj]

do you have any tips on how to start writing fics?

the outsiders brainrot actually has me coming up with ideas and i have a desire to start writing them into actual stories but i've never written outside of class papers/assignments and i don't really know where/how to start since it's all just my own prompts and ideas and there's no grading rubric lmaoooo

like do you plan out each fic with a list first or do you just start writing about the main plot point of the chapter and fill in out of order or do you just start writing and see where it takes you... do you do any research while you're planning or pull from other authors/fics/posts or write from experience...

how do you decide when to stop writing or decide on which endings/paths/plot points to go with... the deadly combo of indecisiveness and perfectionism along with having no guidelines or due dates is crippling me so im asking some of my fav authors (who have also been inspiring me to write and be creative)

wait hi this is so sweet thank you!!! 🥹🥹 i will preface All This (sorry i yapped so much lol) by. i’ve been writing fic for like ten years and i think a lot of my old fic, while deeply cringe and awful, was all very important to getting me where i am today where i feel i can accurately get across what im trying to say!!!

first. hone your ideas!!! try to find a good niche you feel comfortable in (but also. don’t limit your creativity!!!). idk for me it’s easier to start specific and small rather than super general bc then i have Tooooo much freedom u know. i think my niche sorta across fandoms is generally softer dialogue, exploring close siblings or familial or friendship bonds an dynamics through situation, a lot of fluff, maybe a lil hurt comfort

i basically exclusively write in order! unless i get a really cool line/paragraph in my head that i write out and save for later to fit in somewhere. i usually have a like one-line idea that just Comes to me (ex. this was my entire line idea that turned into that pony getting jumped fic!)

then i’ll expand it a little more into a shitty little paragraph (ex. here’s a few!!!)

and then tbh after that i just kinda write everything in order from top to bottom from there. i wish i were more organized tbh and writing long fic/chaptered stuff is still sooo hard for me (which is why i don’t do it much yet lol) but im really trying to break out of it!! slowly we are learning!!! retaining the inspo and drive necessary to write that much is harddddd lmfao

before writing i always do have a solid idea where i want it to start and go and end though. like that ponyboy jumping fic i Knew i wanted to have pony get jumped in the opening scene, then go home, try to break down cutting his own hair, brothers come in and talk him down and it ends with talking abt johnny, even if i didn’t like. List that all out in words in a document.

definitely do research!!! espppp for outsiders bc it was like 60 years ago!!! well researched fics are soooo obviously tonally different and it’s always super obvious imo when that sort of care is put into ur writing. that fic i wrote about darry getting a panic attack was important researching bc panic attacks weren’t well known or researched or even Called panic attacks back then, so it’d be hella jarring seeing like 1967 13y/o pony whip out “you’re having a panic attack darry 🤓👆” yk lmfaoo

i SOO get the perfectionism and having no due dates thing btw. i have literally like 5 fics i’ve started and not finished in my docs rn with like 15 more ideas i wanna write someday. tbh! try to enter that Hyperfixation Zone and be really excited about what you’re making!!! helps it go by easier bc i swear sometimes i’ll write fic and it feels like pulling teeth even though it’s supposed to be fun!!!

last thing. try and find friends to bounce ideas off of and go crazy with you <3 or ppl to beta read!!! makes writing SO much easier and sm more fun having a your own lil personal cheerleader!!! if you ever need a beta id be soooo happy to read whatever you’ve got and hype u up!!! <3 i hope this helped at least a little bit LOL my writing process is kinda chaotic ngl

[i-cant-sing]

life update?

Well... life feels like I'm on rollercoater that's on fire and is heading towards a pit of needles and I'm just.... vibing because I'd never scream or cry in public cause "embarrassing". I mean, exam season is approaching, my brother is getting married in that season and I have to participate actively in wedding activities and keep everyone entertained because its not like I have spare siblings that I can do this for...

And then talking about the actual exam season is also stressful because I'm someone who locks herself away for 4-6 months to study and become a hermit but now I can't do that because guests from all over the world will be staying over and my parents are old and don't have it in them to be running around all day serving guests, even domestic help goes so far.

Hmm what else.... I mean I'm crying over everything these days. The current state of the world? Yes. Palestine? Yes. The world is ending? Yes. Am I gonna end up in hell? Tears. Reading my urdu novel that is soooo well written and I 1000% don't relate to the female mc's struggles? Even more tears. I'm even crying when I thunk about the time I cried over something💀💀💀 (this all very new to me because I've never been so emotional over anything)

Oh and I found out I am not eligible to donate blood because my hemoglobin is in the single digits (so like I know why I couldn't see anything for a minute straight whenever I stood up💀💀)

I have a crush, he's smart and handsome(but like why does he as a man need LONGER LASHES AND CLEARER SKIN THAN ME???HES MAKING ME WANNA START A SKINCARE ROUTINE) But the thing that is the most appealing about him is the way he talks😭 like it just makes u swoon. Idk how to describe it, but like he has a deep voice but not too deep, just the perfect balance between mature adult and charismatic golden boy. And it's not just the way he talks with me or his friends, BUT THE WAY HE TALKS WITH HIS PATIENTS🤌✨️ like I'm here befriending 70 year old women before filling their cavities and he's all "Yes, ma'am/sir. Of course, it'll be done as you want." Like he's so professional even at the end of the day when everyone's just tired from doing their umpteenth patient and start slacking off in the whole "VVIP treatment of all patients". I'm just praying to Allah to make us soulmates (if we're meant to be), I have left this matter in God's hands because He's never disappointed me before and I can't afford to be distracted rn (I borrowed a book from my crush for some notes and was comparing how we even highlighted the same stuff.... we are sooo compatible.... this is so delulu of me omg never thinking about him again- unless he approaches me first)

I feel like having a crush is good because look at me rn- I have started a skincare routine, I am actually studying hard so that if he ever asks me a question, he knows that I'm not a dumbass. And if I had the time to go to the gym, I would, instead I'm doing counting calories and skipping unnecessary meals! What do I have to lose in all of this if he rejects me? Nothing. I end up with clear skin, hot body, and smart af brain.

Like he has a lot more on the line as a crush because he's one, ONE ick away from making me lose complete interest in him. See? This is a win-win for me.

[hertwood]

Please elaborate on ttpd being a sargewood album 👀

hi thank u so much for caring abt the rot in my brain 💖

ok so. mayhaps i am talking out of my ass here, i havent rly fathomed the whole album yet, and there are songs i associate w/ a variety of ships/fic ideas. BUT more songs fic sargewood than any other ship so. allow me to explain.

this is all speculative to taylor swift’s life so its not #confirmed but allegedly this album is abt leaving long term relationship she felt trapped in (joe), and then rebounding in a short term fling (matty). if we look at these songs through the lens of joe=f1 and matty=indycar, therefore kyle, this is how i fathom these songs in a sargewood way.

OBVIOUSLY this does not work for many of the songs, but for the ones it does it is so compelling. also she broke up with matty anyway and he allegedly SUCKS so i’m only rly considering “early relationship” songs here.

Fresh out the slammer is probably the best example: leaving a relationship and immediately knowing where you’re going next. if logan doesn’t have a future in f1, indycar /is/ the place to go, and kyle is his connection. if he gets dropped, you KNOW kyle is one of the first people he’s calling 

Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to

NEXT SONG lets talk Florida!!! the original song I claimed as sargewood for obvious reasons!! ofc, its great bc Florida is there home state. But if we can go back to joe and matty for one second (i’m sorry)

In So Long, London, London not only represents the place, but also Joe and their relationship. I did not come up with this, but I saw people on tiktok saying that while joe=london, matty=florida. the entire song is abt being trapped monotony of her old life (london/joe) and escaping to the new exciting florida(matty).

this fits logan just as florida proper—he can always go home and relax to take a break from the stress of f1. BUT if u wanna see it in a sargewood way--they can both escape their stressful racing lives, come back to florida, to EACHOTHER. this song makes me insane abt them fr. I also like to hear “fuck me up, florida” as “fuck me in florida” AND YOU CAN TOO

I need to forget, so take me to Florida I've got some regrets, I'll bury them in Florida What a crash, what a rush, fuck me in Florida

LAST SONG i’m using for this thesis, but i’m not ruling out fathoming more as sargewood through the joe=f1 matty=indy/kyle lens. it’s a long ass album, i’m employed, i can only do so much

BUT LETS TALK FORTNIGHT

this fathoming was key to me liking this song. HOWEVER while the last two can be fathomed as sargewood in general, fortnight fits a specific fic idea i have where i need to explain some lore first.

logirlie historians will know how after the 2020 f3 season, logan was in a sort of a limbo career wise before he got the call from williams and we know where it goes from there. in this time he was testing for indy, thinking his european racing career was basically over.

so the fic idea. kyle & logan have always had a bit of a ~non platonic connection~ but neither has acted on it due to the distance etc etc. but in this short period of time (a fortnight, perhaps 👀), when its looking like logan might be heading to indycar, the dam breaks and they have a short fling that is more serious than either will admit after, when it ends when logan goes back to f3.

The ACTUAL fic would be years later, where logan leaves f1 and goes to indycar in 2025(?). years have passed, and they've stayed friends this whole time so it /should/ be fine, but now that the distance is no longer an issue all those old feelings come bubbling right up to the surface. they could, of course, just communicate and get together easy peasy but that wouldn't be a fun fic would it? of COURSE it'd be messy.

I haven't written anything, it's more of just a nebulous concept rn and idk if it'll ever go anywhere but it is ALL i think abt when listening to fortnight. The florida and car reference in the bridge is just the cherry on top

And for a fortnight there, we were forever (Back in 2020/2021, what we had was real)

Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather (We talk sometimes (2021-2024) like it's normal and nothing happened)

Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors (Now (2025) we see each other all the time and pretend it's all platonic)

I love you, it's ruining my life (My career would be so less complicated if you weren't in it)

Move to Florida, buy the car you want But it won't start up 'til you touch, touch, touch me

[earthtooz]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

omfg i got tagged in this forever ago by @/sipsteainanxiety, thank you shay :,) i luv u forever, but here i go..!

OVERWHELMING w/ bakugou katsuki

everything i wrote for bakugou, i wrote with my SOUL, and as much as i am reluctant to admit it, i don't think i'll ever be able to write for another character like i do him. i genuinely adore everything i had for him because it was so... poetic. idk how did i did it for boom boom blasty boy, but i did, and that's crazy. what's crazier was the amount of people that ate it up every time, so all of my fics for bakugou i associate with very positive things. i wish i could recommend more, but i want other characters to shine too :>

in all seriousness, this piece for bkg i think stands out for me especially, i loved the progression of the 'overwhelming'... 'motif', there is just unmatched neediness that intersects with love here. writing for bakugou allowed me to pursue this destructive, desperate kind of love that i absolutely adore exploring, the kind of love that you hang onto despite knowing that you don't deserve it. you know that moment when you have such a gut-wrenching thought but can never find the right words to voice it? i never had any of those moments with bakugou. every thought that came to mind was written onto paper so effortlessly that i genuinely don't know what i was on when writing for him.

maybe one day i'll write for bakugou again. ha. let me finish the most recent season first.

BAD IDEA ! w/ suna rintarou

suna my absolute babie, some of you might have never heard of this, but this was truly my magnum opus, one of the first anime fics i've ever posted and it received such positive reactions that i couldn't help but continue writing for anime!

i adore the dialogue in this, the relationship between kuroo and reader is my favourite, ever, but do also just love flop!readers panicking over a cute guy before realising that said guy is also into them the same way. i recommend this fic to see where earthtooz began, and that was with suna rintarou carrying my anime beginnings LOL

SAFE w/ gojo satoru

my treasure... def one of the earlier pieces i've written, but still a goodie. back when i was still lost in trying to figure out a writing style HAHA but this is truly one of my favourite gojo fics. just- the desperation and devastation of potentially losing someone you care about is such a vulnerable topic, especially for gojo satoru, that this trope made me crumble when i wrote it. just him being so broken over the possibility of losing you and turning into a puddle at your feet at the thought of it- RAGHH

DON'T GO w/ blade

just... this. please read this.

WITH(OUT) w/ itoshi sae

somehow one of my personal favourites of all time is for my blue lock ult bias' brother (whom i despise), but i do love this one. it's pretty clear that everyone else thought so too with how many sae reqs i got after this, not that i was complaining, but there is something so thigh-gripping about the intimacy i wrote in this one. no, it's not the most brightest i could come up with in terms of literature, but it was vulnerable, it characterised sae kind of well, and it was just a fic with a trope i love.

no pressure tags: @aanobrain, @hyomagiri, @ode2rin, @shiinleaf, @dnheng

[cerealmonster15]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

ty for the tag @unpredictable-probabilities! I don't usually do tag things but I'm feeling an exception today and I want to ramble lol let's GO!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Right now, 51! I think i started using ao3 back in college with rvb fic lol. I've since orphaned 2 fics so I guess there wouldve been 53.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

86,956

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now, mostly just Twisted Wonderland (and the occasional dndads, I still have a fic in my brain I kinda wanna write for that). Twst was kinda my comeback to wanting to write fics and has been my main inspiration for a lot of things and it's been the most fun i've had writing fics I think, and it's eventually what's gotten me to try to write my first multi chapter fic.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Slip Ups and Lift Ups (Stardew Valley) 444 Kudos 2. A Fishy Intervention (TWST) 354 Kudos 3. Company (TWST) 249 Kudos 4. Security Cauldron (TWST) 248 Kudos [my first twst fic i think? also has some errors in it teehee oopsie] 5. Because I Care (TWST) 234 Kudos

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes!!! I think I didn't used to? Maybe because I felt weird about my own comments changing the comment count and like it was somehow lying lol. but that's silly and i like talking to people and I Need people to Know that i Love Their Comments

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hmmm I do not write much angst, and even when I do it's more hurt/comfort, bc permasads make ME permasad. I think it was my rvb fic "forgotten" - which i always forget was my first fic uploaded to ao3 LOL, back in 2015. ironic that my first wasnt reflective of the tone i usually write for. i don't wanna reread it to check [even tho my fics from back then are WAY shorter] bc im scared to face how i wrote when i was fresh outta hs lol BUT if i remember correctly/based on the summary, it was a doc/donut fic and I think it was about how after doc had disappeared from the future cube or whatever in canon and no one knew he was gone, i wrote a scene of doc getting upset with donut bc Of All People Why Didnt You Notice I Thought I Meant Something To You 😔 kdlsjfkdlsj i think it ended with doc walking off and donut being SAD and idk maybe they broke up, idr if they were 'officially dating' in the context of that fic. but um hashtag docnut for life.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

most all of my fics are happy endings with an exception of like one ^ or two lol. I don't know if i can quantify those!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not to my face if I do lol. I don't think enough people know about me to give a shit if i do stuff they dont like

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nope!!!! i dont really like smut personally and it's not the kind of genre i have story ideas for.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't think i've ever done that 🤔

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not that I know of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

girl help i cannot choose. um. well first shout out again to rvb's docnut bc u will always be strong and married in my heart. and in dndads im an oakworthy truther til i die BUT for twst. twst beloved twst i am in that pitfall of i like 50000 different ships. jamiazu is the one i write and draw the most LOL and theyre def a top fave HOWEVER. god. treycater alters my brain chemistry. rookvil marriage real. adeuce beloved fool duo for life. im physically restraining myself from mentioning more KLFJDSKLFJS especially when we get into the multiship/poly web bc god we will be here all day. i can and will be enabled but this post is already long enough GOODBYE!!!!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oooh ok well there was a dndads oakworthy thing I started like last year but pretty soon after I started it, we started seeing more of hermies forbidden other 'true' personality traits and i was like ruh roh this guy keeps pulling a fast one on me, i dont think the direction i had with this fic is fitting anymore. i had barely gotten anywhere with it and it wouldve been short anyway, but i think about what couldve been.... lololol and then for TWST umm. Hehe. Teehee even. Back during nanowrimo I used that as time to start 2 fics: kalim and the great relationship rescue, which is my current multichap fic about kalisil and jamiazu, it’s got about 3 chapters, and I’m still writing it. AND IM STILL GOING TO FINISH THAT ONE!!! but the OTHER one I started during that time and have NOT posted any of it yet was the stuff with my first twst oc, Char, and his place in my big caterella multiverse ideas lol. I’ve posted a bit about that story idea and done a lot of doodles and brianstorming for it, but I fear it would be too intimidatingly ambitious to stick to and I’m not sure writing one concrete fic is the right medium for it 🤔 plus I just don’t think many people would like it much LOL it would be very self indulgent and tapping into my soap opera brain. I feel nervous when I talk about it HAHDBFNTG so I’m not sure I could commit. But I still have what I wrote, and maybe I’ll figure out another way to go with it or maybe I’ll just wake up one day and say WHATEVER and write it anyway lol. I’ve gotten shyer again so we’ll see 🧍

16. What are your writing strengths?

umm. i do not know if it is a strength but i feel more light comedy and dialogue come more 'naturally' to me, but i do not know how well i actually can pull it off LOL also shorter, contained stories. Everything I write is a one shot, and I’m struggling on my recent attempt at a multiple chapter fic BDBFFBFNGD

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

hrhrnrngm more descriptive writing, i find im in the pitfalls of writing TOO MUCH dialogue. and i also feel like when i try to do more serious tone things it comes off as cringe or trying too hard kFDKLSHFLDSJ. no one's said that to me but yknow. fear and whatnot. also ending the story is. Hard. I feel like that’s always a weak part of my fics bc I sit there like WELL I WROTE ALL MY IDEAS HOW DO I WRAP THIS UP…. I worry my endings come off kind of half assed but I do my best lol 😔✌️

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

like are you asking if i would do it? or how i feel when it's done in fics i read? i dunno lol. i could maybe do spanish bc ive studied it a lot but i'd get nervous i think.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

on ao3 it was rvb bu teeeechnically back in my neoseeker forums days i was in there writing like, animal crossing or harvest moon or pokemon stuff. it was very bad bc i was like 10 years old LOL

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

ohoho ummmm. Well I always have fun writing jamiazu and I’ve written a LOT of those lol. I have a soft spot for The Comfort of Familiarity. That’s one of the ones hats taken me the longest to write because I was really trying hard to handle it with care, as it was a less light tone than I typically do and I was trying to explore the characters and their situation in a particular way that I really wanted to come across well with who reads it. It was hard, and I’m not sure I fully got there, but ultimately I did like it quite a a bit. on the flipside, one of my more recent fics and I think now my longest oneshot to date, Blue Raspberry Mango was VERY fun to write lol. That one’s a lot more like what I typically write, silly romcom style lmao. Cater and Idia goofing, characters bickering, friendship, me trying to sneak in as many side ships into the background for funsies, jamiazu is there, it was a good time. And that one started as a prompt suggestion which I feel like often times I end up struggling with and not delivering super well… but this one ran away from me and I had a blast lol. Idikei fixed me 😌✌️

Ty for tagging me! Umm. I am too scared to tag other people 🧍 goodbye jk @officialgleamstar 🫵 You Do It

[sorry if I missed any typos or autocorrect, part of this was on my phone and I always miss SOMETHING lol]

[oopsiedaisymae]

Writer ask game? hehehe

On today's fruit platter: 🍓 🍎 🍐 🍇

MWAH!

MWAH jes thank u for the ask!! i will try my best to answer o7

🍓 What’s a fic you’ve written you feel is underrated?

i'm not one to jump to thinking my works are underrated all that often, both because i'm a bit hypercritical of my own work and also bc i can usually predict what might be more popular based on the premise/character i'm writing. but if i had to give an answer from each blog:

cool about it is a songfic-thingy that i wrote for obey me nightbringer around this time last year. when i was going through my masterlist and reorganizing everything, this is the piece that stuck out to me the most as being better than i remembered. some of the phrasing really hits in my opinion, too:

"but being around you leaves his head devoid of all reason. he craves you like flowers crave rain in early spring, like the dead of night craves the gentle kiss of dawn." - mammon's section

"he doesn't question his fondness towards you. you're just... special. he doesn't want to question what makes you feel so nice to be around-- he'd rather just bask in your warmth, like a child savoring the summer sun." - beel's section

i also, like many others, think nightbringer's premise was underutilized for the massive change it made to the franchise. i wish they'd explored the dynamic of knowing the past demons more thoroughly before reversing it, maybe made it an entire spin off game and continued the og timeline? i'm not sure. but i think the early dynamic of nightbringer was really interesting and i like how i captured it here.

back brace blues is a fic i wrote for twisted wonderland about lilia vanrouge. i think it was a pretty decent dive into my first "longer" fic for that blog (longer used incredibly loosely). i wrote it from some inspiration i got from some hcs about him floating around and a fic from a now-mutual of mine about giving him a back rub. as someone who chronic back pain myself i think it's incredibly fascinating to show lilia's age in subtle ways like that. in general, i think lilia has one of the most interesting backstories, and this was my way to explore it. idk. i think the piece is based around some interesting headcanons and some soft domestic moments that i like.

🍎 Is there anything you straight-up won’t write?

despite the things that i tend to post being pretty fluffy and contemplative, i've dabbled in writing other stuff offline. sexual content, violence, stalking, murder, etc etc... just some truly feral shit i've explored over the years with a particular writing buddy of mine. i got into creepypasta at like, 10 lol. my writing boundaries are based on whatever i feel like writing and always in flux. some things i don't ever see myself writing, though:

pedophilia, cuz i think it's a very serious issue and also gross as fuck (includes grooming, very imbalanced power dynamics played completely straight, etc etc)

graphic torture, cuz i'm squeamish and don't have the constitution for that

non-con and cnc, cuz i don't personally like it at all even though i can understand why others do (the ability to give consent in a fantasy that hinges on a lack of it, etc etc)

scat/piss/vomit, cuz squeamish

rough BDSM stuff, cuz i don't like it

probably never gonna write selfship stuff cuz i'm much much more interested in creating ocs and specific narratives

other things that i personally just find gross/upsetting/annoying/am disinterested in etc etc that i either cannot think of right now or have not discovered i dislike yet

i'm someone who has always been really clear in my personal boundaries and moral convictions, because i personally am very keen on separating fiction from reality. i'm a massive pussy and moralist irl (can't even steal from villagers in minecraft bc what if they starve :'( rip) but i think the ability to look at something in fiction and pick it apart knowing it's entirely not real can allow us to reflect on the nature of humanity etc etc. hence why i can read stories with demons and murders and yet can't really stomach true crime. but that's just my opinion personally!

🍐 Is there anything in canon that you absolutely hate and love to fix in fics? A wrong choice made, a fuck-up in characterization, a misunderstanding never cleared up, a conversation never shown onscreen, etc…

a lot of my biggest gripes center around shitty characterization and thoughtless plot points. obey me is incredibly guilty of this so here are some things i constantly correct in fics or just in my general understanding of the lore:

solomon's characterization, specifically in nightbringer and fanon. i talked about him in my last post. idk when the hell he got this reputation as a soft boy that's never done anything wrong. that man's a fucking war criminal lol. AND he's cute and sweet! duality of man! but i hate when all his nuance is scrubbed away and he's basically declawed for the sake of sanitizing the game and/or making people feel like they don't like someone who's done lots of dubious shit.

beel's characterization. oh my god. let him have a personality outside of eating.

satan's characterization. idk when the game decided it was funny to have him only care about cats and being a dick to lucifer but i hate it. give my boy his academic snootiness back. where are his mysterious connections. his nuance. they've fuckin destroyed his nuance.

the lack of lore about the way the celestial realm works, the connections between the three realms, etc. there's so much neglected world building and i always do my best to muster up SOMETHING in the gaps.

i also usually just perceive twisted wonderland's canon and night raven college as an actual university level program instead of... whatever it's supposed to be. idk why some of the characters are so young or why the age spread is so wide or why it's called a "college" if only some of the characters are college age. that's the sort of main premise of my twst blog, basically just correcting that stuff bc it makes absolutely no sense to me and i think some of the plot points are more interesting that way (riddle's relationship w his mother, vil's fame, kalim and jamil's dynamic, etc etc).

🍇 Is there a particular scene/episode/book/etc that you want to just write a million fics about, over and over? Which one?

for obey me, the way most of them are solomon-centric... fucking embarassing lol

i want to write the end of season 2 of og over and over forever. i think it's so incredibly interesting. the back and forth with solomon, the talk with lucifer, the impending doom, being saved by simeon who basically destroys his relationship with michael and Father in that moment... so juicy. i wish i could read and write about it forever

in my mind, my magus opus fic is this detailed fic of the night solomon and mc are implied to sleep together in og season 3... so many thoughts. it's needy and full of yearning. he's way too chipper the next day. belphie's line that implies he was geTTING OFF TO IT???? jesus. i wish i had the focus to lock in and write a detailed smut fic from several povs about this event

i eat up every single fic about lucifer and mc making a pact in og season 1 and would love to have my own interpretation one day

for twisted wonderland:

i would love to explore each overblot scene in obscene detail. specifically riddle, azul, and jamil

i want to write so many fics about chapter 6, specifcally with mc and pomefiore. i loved that book and the dynamics. i want to write a fic about vil's kisses. i want to write about hunting down rook with epel on the brooms. i want to write about the angst at the end with almost losing grim and a hypothetical where mc jumps in to grab him instead. god i forgot how much i love book six until literally right now lol

twst is better written imo (sorry) so i have less moments i want to build on but i'm sure there's more rattling around in my brain lol

[rollercoasterwords]

about those prank thoughts... well i’d love to hear them sooo if you needed an excuse to write another essay here it is

kissing u on the mouth anon ok here we go here's the prank rant (warning it got super long):

ok so this is limited in scope because as i've said before, i've only been in this fandom for like ~1.5 years, so idk anything about how the prank was talked about/handled before this. BUT. what i personally have seen. is essentially:

atyd gets super popular via tiktok -> it becomes sort of "canon" (at least, amongst newer marauders fans) that The Prank was like...this really devastating event that tore apart the marauders friend group, because that's how it was characterized in atyd--despite the fact that in the actual canon, it honestly doesn't seem like as big of a deal -> since it becomes the New Canon that The Prank was Such A Horrible Thing, suddenly people begin talking (mostly on tiktok) about how awful and unforgivable it was for sirius to do something like that. this devolves into this big discussion of people saying either

it's completely out of character for sirius to do The Prank and he never "really" would have done it; we should just ignore that part of canon

The Prank is so unforgivable that it makes sirius a completely irredeemable character

The Prank is so awful that anyone writing it in a canon compliant fic should be showing every single marauder turning against sirius and everyone hating him/telling him what he did was so awful and wrong, and it should take a really long time and a lot of apologizing/changed behavior before remus ever forgives sirius

and this then got extended into debates about james' characterization; I saw sooooo many people talking about "james would NEVER just forgive sirius for something like that" "james would side with remus" etc etc etc

and the end result of all these conversations was that i saw tons and tons of people saying that the way The Prank was written in atyd was Bad. not just--oh, i didn't like it, though there was plenty of that too, but people acting as though the way it was written was a moral failing, as though mkb had failed to convey how Horrible and Awful of a thing the prank was, and in doing so she had allowed people to Sympathize with sirius's character, when he should have been Punished. suddenly everyone was climbing on their high horses about The Prank, talking about how unrealistic or out of character or "problematic" it was to write it the way it was done in atyd--which was ironic to me, because from where i was sitting, it seemed like it was atyd that had solidified this fanon idea that The Prank was Such A Bad Thing in the first place (again, at least amongst fans brought in by tiktok).

SO. my problem with this. setting aside the conversation of whether The Prank was actually That Bad in the first place (because i think it can be written as a more or less serious event, depending on how you interpret canon--but personally, i tend to interpret it as something Very Bad, so let's start with that premise) and operating under the assumption that it was, in fact, a really horrible thing that put not only snape + james in danger but also remus, since he could have been exposed as a werewolf--the thing that drives me up the fucking WALL about The Prank discourse is that it is, to me, just one example of this obsession with Morality and Punishment when it comes to "literary critique" (using that term loosely, because i'd argue that a lot of what these people are doing actually isn't literary critique) in the marauders fandom (post-tiktokifcation, at least).

like. specifically, it's this idea that something like The Prank would make sirius, as a character, irredeemable, and that it would be unrealistic for his friends to forgive him. that, to me, is just....such a strange interpretation!!! because if you are friends--close friends, childhood friends--with someone for long enough, they will hurt you. you will hurt each other. it is an inevitable part of being human that getting close to each other and staying close to each other often means hurting each other. and the closer you are with someone, the more they can hurt you. i have a childhood friend who is essentially like family to me, and i was cruel to her when i was fourteen. i was dealing with a lot of shit, and i was young, and i was mean. and we've both been cruel to each other in the nearly two decades we've known each other, and we've had explosive fights, but we have always found our way back to each other and forgiven each other, because that's the kind of friendship we have. i have another childhood friend who hurt me so deeply when we grew older that despite having my literal handwriting tattooed on her arm, we haven't spoken in five years, and will probably never speak again. that kind of hurt is a risk you take when you let people in.

so to me, the idea that a teenage boy raised in an abusive environment who has just run away a few months earlier, who is dealing with all that shit as well as the regular shit of just being a fucking teenager, would thoughtlessly and deeply hurt his friend--that isn't out of character! in fact, i think it's entirely in character, and i think it's a crucial part of sirius's relationship with remus and the other marauders. because the fact that remus is able to forgive sirius says something important about their relationship. what exactly it says will vary, to a certain extent, depending on the details of how you write the prank and characterize the characters, but overall--it's important because it's showing that their relationship is strong enough and close enough and important enough to both of them that they are able to move past this deeply hurtful event. and that, to me, is a WAY more interesting and impactful relationship to read about than a relationship where two people are always good and never hurt each other.

and regarding james--personally, i love the characterization that james forgives sirius "too quickly" or "too easily" after the prank, because i think it's an opportunity to explore one of his most important character flaws, which is that he cannot imagine that his friends would ever purposefully do something bad/harmful. like--this loyalty and belief in his friends is literally what gets him killed. what amazing foreshadowing to show that even when his best friend does something blatantly wrong, james still thinks--well, he didn't mean it. his intentions weren't bad. and obviously he's sorry--and he's a still a good person, because he's my friend, and my friends are good people. like THAT is how you write a character flaw!

and speaking of character flaws--this is also one of the best opportunities, if you're following canon, to really explore some of sirius's character flaws! and again, it's gonna change depending on how you're writing certain details, but in some way shape or form this is a very important mistake for sirius to make in order for his character to grow--obviously, something has to change afterwards, because otherwise how could remus forgive him? but what has to change? how does it have to change? good characters aren't meant to be static!!

it's just. !!!! The Prank is truly, genuinely, one of the BEST opportunities from canon that you can use you really explore these characters and their flaws and their relationships with one another. so it is genuinely BAFFLING to me to see sooooo many people condemn it and act like it's this atrocious thing, because i feel like it demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of what literature is meant to do. like--i've talked about this before on my blog, and i'll keep saying it til the cows come home, but fictional characters do not exist as moral blueprints. good literature should engage your critical thought, and "character does Bad Thing -> character is Bad" is not critical thought!!! like!! fiction isn't telling you how to live, it's asking you to think about the human condition--and part of the human condition is that people make mistakes, and they hurt each other, and they have to figure out how to keep living in the wake of that hurt!! The Prank is this plot point where you can bring up really tough questions, like--how does closeness with others leave us vulnerable to them? is that vulnerability worth the closeness? what role does intent play in measuring harm? what can we forgive? what can we not forgive?

i get that sometimes with fanfiction you just want fluffy happy brain-off fun, but you can find that if that's what you want, y'know? like--it's just so so strange and honestly concerning for me to see people act as though something like The Prank shouldn't be written just because it means giving characters flaws and exploring them.

in conclusion, The Prank is one of my favorite parts of canon, and i truly think it is so worthwhile to explore when writing and thinking about these characters, especially sirius. also--it is important to understand, both within and outside of literature, that having flaws and causing harm does not automatically make a person irredeemable. if we are going to live with each other we need to learn how to respond to people fucking up in ways that are not just: You Are Bad And Must Be Punished.