#idk if it's because i haven't eaten yet or because of something i have eaten yesterday

[gender-euphowrya]

wouldn't it be nice. if people made sure they knew what the fuck they're talking about before talking about it

[bewilderedbuckley]

.

[dyslexicmammon]

Unwanted

Characters: Lucifer (Obey me!), Solomon (Obey me!) [not together]

CW// SFW, Angst ig? Yelling, Implied Lucifer x Mc, Implied Solomon x Mc, Nightbringer MC/attendant MC, You/Your pronouns used

A/N: Hiii~ I haven't written something in ages and I literally cannot remember how this drabble came about but, here you go. I couldn't find a way to end it because for me, Solomon is very hard to write for/about. The ending is open to add onto if you would like! uhhh idk what else to add. I'm gonna try and write more of my ideas since I'm having a hard time with art atm. Again this is just a short drabble lol

Chapter 2 / Ao3 / Divider Credit

“Here's some food Lucifer, you haven’t eaten all day and I’m worried- '' You were cut off by a groan. Lucifer rubbed his brow and with disdain in his voice “If I was hungry I would have come down to eat at the agreed times. I don’t need you out of all people to worry about me. Leave.” He touches his tongue with his gloved hand then goes to turn the page of the documents he’s currently working on, not daring to look up from his work. 

Tears well up in your eyes as you place the well-prepared food you had made for the ungrateful Avatar of Pride down on his desk. On your way out you accidentally slam his study door behind you. You suddenly get a ping on your D.D.D, with its familiar and expected buzz you knew it was Solomon “I’m waiting outside ❤ ️”. You begin to move away from Lucifer's study, sighing and clutching your D.D.D to your chest. You hear a faint call of your name from behind the door. Ignoring it, you begin to make your exit. 

The tears are having a hard time staying in as they desperately roll down your cheeks. In the main hall you spot Mammon and Beel who were talking about dinner. Desperately trying to go unrecognised by them you begin to walk further to the left of the hall you were now sharing. “Where do ya think you’re going mc??” Mammon reaches out to grab your arm. Without thinking you pull away, only sniffling in response. “Yeah we haven’t had dinner yet” Beel says with a sympathetic half smile. Wiping your tears aside and in a shaky voice you apologise to the hungry demon. Looking at him, hoping to see that compassionate smile you once knew from your long nights hanging out and eating snacks. Only to be met with a faint smile from the gluttonous demon.

Mammon laughs nervously, feeling the tension in the air then announces “It's okay Beel! We don’t need some attendant taking care of us! We got this!” and giving his brother a slap on the back. Feeling unwelcome from the 2 oldest brothers' attitude you pick up your pace once again and head straight for the front door. A couple moments pass or faint grumbles from both demons until you hear the Avatar of Greed as he runs and reaches for your hand “Hey! You haven’t had dinner yet either!”. Unable to hold back the tears anymore, a steady stream begins to trail down your face as you start crying uncontrollably. “You said it yourself! You can cook yourself and your brother's dinner just fine. You can also clean up after yourself. You don’t need me! so let go Mammon!” You had never raised your voice at any of them before. After pulling yourself free from his grasp, you exclaim “Solomon is taking me out to dinner & I have to go. Not that you people care if I’m here or not. Oh and don’t bother cooking for Lucifer either.” Suddenly looking up at the banister, like he had control over your body you noticed the demon himself. Trying to hide the panic in your eyes you wipe away your tears and swiftly begin your descent upon the front door once more, ready to brace the elements. “Have a nice night.” you say, your voice cracking a little before slamming the door behind you. 

With the tension seemingly broken by the wooden door now between you and the avatars the tears flow harder than ever before and the air becomes heavy in your lungs. That's when you hear light human footsteps rushing towards you. Solomon was now staring in shock. With his face merely inches away from your own. He quickly but gently wraps his arms around you and holds the back of your head. “Oh my, Mc what's happened? Why are you upset?” Responding to his touch, your arms snake around his chest as you wail into his shoulder. Hearing the demons on the other side fast approaching, he picks you up and casts a shield spell to protect you and silence the yells of a certain white haired demon.  

“Let's get you out of here my love, our date can wait” he quickly begins to escort you away from the HOL. You can hear faint yells from what you assume to be the brothers calling your name...

[babybluebex]

ok wait but now imagining paul not so subtly trying to get dom to ask out costar!you 😭😭 like imagine dom's just too nervous to ask you out to dinner or something after wrapping up a scene and paul's like 😒 and ASKS FOR DOM 💀 so paul going "hey, dom invited me out for dinner, which of course i'm flattered, but im a bit too old for him.....you should take my place!" and dom in the background looking absolutely mortified. cue confused reader !!

i also have been hallucinating this one small moment where you finished filming a bit later in the day compared to dom so you didn't get to eat yet. you show up to your trailer and see dom and he's like "finally im starving! burgers or pizza?" and you're like "girl what." and he's like "you haven't eaten yet and i wanted to eat with you" and you're just like "WHAT!" (🥹) and he's like "so pizza AND burgers?"

idk i need to go to sleep.

ugh my FAV idea is paul and da'vine watching you two being IDIOTS who don't see that you're falling for each other, and you tell da'vine how much you like dom but you're too nervous to say anything, and dom tells paul that he doesn't think he's good enough for you, and paul and da'vine collude to get yall together bc CLEARLY yall aren't gonna do it on your own

just little things at first, filming a scene outside and paul mumbles to dom "she looks cold... maybe you oughta give her your scarf" and dom does it without hesitation, and you smile at dom and paul is like success, or you and da'vine are cooking (bc ALL THE FOOD IN THE MOVIE WAS REAL AND AT LEAST PARTIALLY COOKED BY DA'VINE) and she "accidentally" overcooks a pan of brownies, and she says "go give them to the boy, he'll eat em" and you do, and dom is all red in the face and adores the gesture, and da'vine is back in the kitchen thinking like those kids are SO dumb

and it escalates in their poking and prodding, and dom tells paul one night "i just— i've never had any luck with girls" and paul is like "jesus christ, kid, see the writing on the wall! for the past six weeks, you've been worshiping this girl and she's been the same, and we wrap in a week, either ask her to dinner or shut up about it!" and he settles down and goes "sorry, that was mean. what i meant was—" but the snap of reality was exactly what dom needed to get off his ass, and he goes and finds you that very moment, and you're sitting chatting with da'vine, and you smile at dom as he enters the room "hey man! what's up?" and you notice his red cheeks and the intense look on his face, and you start to ask what's the matter, but he beats you to it, grabbing your face and kissing you, and you initially push him away "what the hell?" and he just all in one breath says "i think you're really beautiful and you're funny and silly but so caring and passionate, you take care of me even when you don't need to, because why would you need to, i'm a grown man, i can take care of myself, but i love the way you play with my hair and fall asleep on my shoulder during movie night, and we wrap in a week and i don't think i could live with myself if i didn't at least tell you how i feel, and paul says you feel the same way, and i usually believe whatever he says without hesitating, but i sorta worry he's wrong about it, so—" and you kiss him again to keep him quiet and you can't see her behind you, but da'vine is grinning bc fucking finally

and dom is a SWEETHEART when it comes to that second part. you had to film a scene that went on longer than expected, and dom has been wrapped for the day for a while, and the shoes you wore for the scene hurt your feet and you're tired and your body hurts and you just wanna lay down, and you get to your trailer and see the light on inside when you know you left the light off that morning, and you go in, and dom's got it all set up for you, an ocean of blankets on the couch and a pizza on your counter, and he's on the couch, remote in hand, navigating thru netflix, and you're like "the fuck is this?" and he's all puppy eyes at you "i knew you had a hard day, so i wanted to... i don't know, make it easy or something. i got your favorite pizza, and i washed these blankets so they smell nice and they just came out the dryer so they're still warm, and i'm trying to find that show you like but i can't find it, how do you spell 'derry'" and your face crumples up as you start to cry, and dom's face goes WHITE and he shoots up "oh god, i'm sorry, what did i do?" and he comes over and gingerly hugs you, and you cry into his neck and can barely gasp out "n-nothing's wrong, i-i'm just tired!" and he shushes you "maybe a little hangry too?" and you just "mhm" into his skin "that's what i thought, honey, c'mon sit down, i've got you" and that makes you cry harder and he's just sorta "... i'm really bad with girls, do you want me to let go and kick rocks, or..." and you just whimper "i've never had a boyfriend be so nice to me" and dom feels his heart shatter "jesus, really? what sorta guys have you been dating? cuz i— look at me, baby, look into my eyes— i like you. a whole lot. but i care about you too, and i care about the fact that you feel like shit and had a bad day, and because i like you so much and i care about you, i just wanna... just wanna make sure you're ok. ok?" and you sniffle and nod, and he ducks his head to get his face in your lowered eyeline "ok??" and you sorta huff out a laugh "oh, c'mon, you can do better than that. i'm not letting go of you until you give me a real laugh. even if it's fake, pretend it's real" and you roll your eyes and he sorta shakes you "c'mon, you can do it. or do i need to start singing at you? because i can!" and you start to slink away from him, but he pulls you in close and kisses your head "go get into some pjs, i brought one of my shirts for you to wear, it's on your bed with those sweatpants you wear all the time" and by the time you get changed and grab a slice of pizza and get settled on the couch in dom's arms, you realize he's not eating "you're not hungry?" "nah not really..." and it's only after you're full that he reveals the truth to you "i haven't eaten all day. i wanted you to eat all you wanted and not have to worry about me :)"

[gretavanfleetposts]

Make Her Happy

Author's Note: I took way too much melatonin last night and, as I laid there on my death bed this morning, I finally wrote it, Josh unable to make your date so he sends Jake instead, because I love silly little unrealistic situations. This is also unedited because I still can hardly see straight lol like it was A LOT of melatonin. I took it and 20 minutes later realized what I had done and said…fuck. Anyways, idk, enjoy

Content Warnings: fingering, oral sex (f. receiving), dirty talk, overstimulation, penetrative sex (18+ minors do not interact), swearing

Word Count: 6k

You'd spent over an hour preparing Josh's favorite pasta for date night, setting up plates meticulously with pretty napkins folded beside them, drinks already poured as the night grew later and you grew even more antsy for his arrival. You'd hardly had a moment to yourselves with the new album coming out. Josh had been busy and when he wasn't busy, he was exhausted. But he'd promised you a date night and you were going to make the most of it while you still had him under your fingers, frilly blue lingerie tucked away under your clothing and all.

You were giddy with excitement when you heard the doorbell, though Josh didn't usually use the bell. You didn't care though, and as you plated the last of the pasta on his end of the table, nice and hot and ready to be enjoyed, you skipped over to the door to greet your boyfriend.

And, given all of the work you had put into the evening, given all of the excitement you'd felt, even given the way you'd held off on touching yourself last night in favor of letting Josh be the one to get you off, it was entirely understandable that when you flung the door open, your reaction was what is was.

"Oh, you're not Josh."

Jake's face immediately fell from a wide grin to that of a displeased grimace.

"Good to see you, too," he said sarcastically as he pushed past you into your house to shirk off his coat and chelsea boots. "Josh got caught up with his voice coach," he explained as he moved.

You sighed, your disappointment easily showing through your demeanor. You weren't surprised, really. He'd been canceling a lot lately. You understood, of course. Well, you tried anyway. You tried to be the loving, supportive girlfriend no matter what.

Still, it sucked to miss another night with him.

"Guess I'll just put this in Tupperware then," you murmured as you moved to collect the dishes from the dining table.

But Jake stopped you with a quick grab of your wrist as he pried a plate from your hand and set it back down on the table.

"Well hey, now, I haven't eaten," he protested, his look turning into that of a wounded puppy the longer you gave him the glare you'd been sending him.

"It's for Josh," you explained, picking the plate back up again. "He's been talking about it all week, I'll just save it."

But Jake took the plate from your hands once again.

"Well he sent me to…fill in. So by that rule, you have to share."

"What do you mean 'fill in'?" you asked cautiously, your hesitation growing as that look in his eyes did, a look that somehow suggested he was up to something. The twins were up to something. That was never good.

"He knows he's been very hit or miss lately," he shrugged. "He didn't want to stand you up again. 'Make her happy,' he said."

You scoffed at him despite the way he almost looked like he genuinely wanted to eat dinner with you.

"That's ridiculous, I am happy."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, thank you," you said a bit more sternly before adding, for good measure, "I don't need a filler."

You'd eat alone, like you did every other night he'd had to cancel. You'd put on the TV and knit or read a book alone, too. And then you'd go to bed alone and let your vibrator do the work you really wanted Josh to do. It was fine. You understood.

"So you're going to let all of this work go to waste yet again? How many times has he done this this month?"

You didn't answer, mostly because Jake didn't need to hear it, didn't need the satisfaction that no, you really didn't want to spend another night alone. But God, you didn't. You wanted someone to eat with you, someone to curl up on the couch with you, someone to touch you. No, not someone. You wanted Josh.

You sighed as you dropped your gaze to your feet. "I know he's busy. It'll be better once the album is out."

"Such an understanding girlfriend," he answered in a mocking tone, earning an eye roll from you.

"Okay well if he really sent you, why didn't he text me first to at least ask?"

For all you knew, Josh had let Jake know he'd be late and Jake had decided to swoop in and save the day. Not that you really thought he'd do that but still.

"Have you checked your phone?"

"Of course I've-" you started before realizing your phone had been charging in another room while dinner had been cooked. You hadn't in fact checked it in a while though you weren't entirely sure it had made any noise either in that time.

Holding up a finger to Jake silently, you retreated from the room to find your phone, sitting there on its charger with 100% battery and a single text from Josh that you had clearly missed.

"Can't make it tonight. I'm sorry, love. Let Jake keep you company tonight. And then I'll make it up to you. I promise."

Surely that didn't mean…

No, why would it? It was ridiculous to think Josh meant anything other than let Jake have dinner with you. Were you really that desperate that you hoped there was another meaning?

You met Jake in the other room where he still stood, only now with a wide, smug grin plastered across his face as you gave him a conceding look without ever admitting you had in fact gotten a text from Josh.

"Fine. But dinner only," you relented. "Then you can go home and I can go to bed."

With my vibrator, you finished the sentence silently.

You were pent up, to say the least. But you could fake a date with Jake for an hour or two. Surely you could.

"Dinner only," he agreed with a smile that suggested it would not just be dinner only.

Okay, maybe you couldn't.

—

Admittedly, you'd hoped that by the time dinner was finished, he would excuse himself for the night. But he didn't, and after helping you stack dishes into the sink to be washed some other time, he took your hands in his and pulled you into him with a hum, a makeshift song for you to dance to in the kitchen. And any other night, you might have twirled with your boyfriend's brother in your kitchen, might have even giggled when he accidentally stepped on your toes, but you were aching for a moment alone to relieve yourself of the tension that had been building in your body when you had thought you'd be spending the night with Josh. And his hands.

"Jake, I don't want to dance," you groaned as you resisted his attempts like a spoiled child not getting what she wanted.

"Oh come on, this cannot be all you do on date night with him," Jake pushed back, refusing to let your wrists drop from his hands.

"It's not, I just-" you started but he cut you off with a shake of his head.

"Okay well, if it's not then you have to do with me whatever you'd do with him. I'm the substitute tonight. His orders were don't let the date fall through."

You ignored the feeling that sprang up deep inside your stomach at the implication that Jake would do whatever it is you usually did with Josh.

"Since when do you listen to him anyway?" you groaned again, still tugging helplessly at your wrists.

Was Jake strong? Oh god, stop thinking.

"Since I was sent to make his girlfriend's night not shit," he corrected you in a stern voice that almost sounded frustrated but more than anything, sounded adamant.

And you couldn't help but sigh and stop the struggle you were putting up as your shoulders fell.

So you weren't getting a moment alone. Not for a while, at least. That's okay. You'd waited a few days to get off with Josh already, what was a few more hours?

God. Hours.

"Okay, okay, fine," you relented, not doing much to hide your disappointment although Jake seemed satisfied as he gave you a soft, "Good," and let your hands fall.

"Now what do you usually do after dinner?"

Well, that was a bit tricky.

We usually do what I've been wanting to do all night.

You couldn't say that though.

"Well, usually we…" you started, trailing off and hoping he'd find the rest of the sentence in the silence. But clearly, he didn't. Or maybe he just wanted to hear you say it out loud. That was probably it, the smug bastard.

"I'm listening," he said as he cocked an eyebrow.

"Usually we…ya know…" you started and trailed off yet again, lifting your shoulders to mimic the way your eyebrows moved in insinuation.

He made a face back, covering the amused look he had in his eyes. "God, on a full stomach?"

"I don't need your judgment," you snapped back, your mood declining the longer you were denied an orgasm.

"Alright, alright," he backtracked, "and then what after?"

You shrugged. "And then sometimes we watch a movie, sometimes we just talk, sometimes we play a game. Just depends on…stuff."

You knew what you meant by stuff and it seemed he knew what you meant by stuff too because he nodded and suddenly the stark amusement was back, flooding his stupid, beautiful face just like it did his twin, though on much rarer occasion.

"Okay well, I'm more of a sex before dinner type of guy but I guess we can switch the order. Movie first though, you don't eat pasta before running a marathon."

Surely he was kidding. Although, it didn't really seem like he was kidding. Still, the stunned silence on your face earned a laugh from him, utterly pleased with himself as it were, and he dragged you into the living room, choosing to ignore your silence to keep the night going as best he could.

Silence was probably better than the disgustingly horny thoughts that suddenly filled your mind at the thought of Jake filling his brother's role in that way. His hands holding your hips, his mouth against your skin, his cock-

No, silence was definitely better.

"What movie?" Jake's voice shook you from your string of filthy thoughts as he flipped through Netflix titles carelessly, remote in hand.

"Um, it was Josh's night to pick so I guess that means you get to pick," you answered meekly as you found the corner of the couch and snuggled up with the pillow, trying to be discrete as you squeezed your thighs together in an attempt to put yourself out of your misery, even just a little bit.

"Fair enough," he answered in a low voice, navigating to one of his favorite movies, a documentary about pirates that thankfully was only an hour long.

You could suffer for another hour.

But as the opening credits came rolling across the screen, he pulled a blanket from his corner of the couch and gestured you over to him with a wave of his hand.

"Come on, I won't bite."

You couldn't help but chuckle at his choice of words.

"I'm not entirely sure I believe that."

He gave you a laugh back as he lifted the blanket for your approaching body and let it settle over top of you, pulling you into his side easily with one arm.

"Well, I guess if date night usually includes biting," he mused, turning his eyes back to the screen.

"Sometimes it does," you shrugged against him as you got cozy.

Maybe it wouldn't be an hour of suffering. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad at all. Although, the heat from his skin left you almost dizzy as you curled up next to him.

Pirates. Just focus on the pirates.

"I am sorry he's not here," Jake's voice caught your attention again. "And I know he is too."

You already knew Josh was likely beside himself over the fact that he had missed yet another date. And you weren't angry. Sexually frustrated? Sure. But not angry.

"It's okay," you sighed. "Thank you for coming. I do appreciate it."

"Yeah, of course."

When the movie ended an hour later, Jake shut the TV off, leaving you both alone in silence and now, in the dark, leaving to think back to Josh's text about Jake keeping you company and then Jake's more forward comments about pasta and marathons.

"I'm gonna go clean up from dinner," you said as you cleared your throat and pried yourself away from Jake's body heat to stand and head toward the kitchen. But Jake stood after you.

"I can do that," he offered in a soft tone, adding after a much huskier, "Later."

You were almost afraid to ask.

"Later?"

He nodded with a thin smile on his lips and eyes that drooped a little more toward the bedroom-y end of the spectrum. Not that he didn't almost always have 'fuck me' eyes. That was a trait the three brothers shared.

"Yes, after you're asleep."

After I'm asleep. Are you planning on soothing me to sleep, Jake?

"Didn't realize you were planning on staying that long," was all you said back, trying desperately to shove the thought of your aching center from your mind and act like you were perfectly fine, nothing was wrong, you weren't hoping Josh was letting you do what Jake looked like he was planning on doing regardless.

"Well, I think we've missed one crucial part of the night," he gave you a shrug back. So nonchalant. But then his eyes turned a little bit darker and you saw every intention behind them. "And I don't plan to miss out on any part of date night."

You weren't sure if the scoff you meant to give him had happened out loud or in your head.

"You're not serious."

"I am very serious," he nodded. "Josh said-"

"There's no way he meant-"

"You want to read that text again?"

You were silent for a pause, knowing his text was inconspicuous and you were likely just looking for any green light to act on your more horny of feelings, before you gave him a shake of your head.

"Okay but surely that's not what he meant. I mean, I'm not going to have sex with you, Jake. I can't have sex with you."

You weren't entirely sure you were saying it for him though surely that didn't hurt.

"Why not?" was all he asked back.

You were incredulous at the question. "Why not? Why not? Do you hear yourself right now?"

"You wanna call him and ask?"

"No, I'm not going to call him and ask!"

Finally Jake rolled his eyes and pulled his phone from his pocket, clicking around a few moments before handing it to you, outstretched with a text exchange between him and his twin open on the screen.

"Here."

"Missing our date again. Can't make it out of the studio. I hate the idea of her there alone, eating the pasta I asked for by herself yet again."

"Want me to go eat it for you?"

"Will you? I just don't want to disappoint her again. I don't want her to be alone."

"Yeah, I'll fill in"

"I'm giving you permission to give her the whole date experience, just this once. Just please make her happy."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"I've seen the way you look at her. I'm not an idiot. Just this once."

As you finished reading through the text messages, you couldn't deny the feeling of anticipation building again the way it had when you'd heard the knock on the door earlier in the night, thinking it was Josh.

You and Josh hadn't touched each other in a while, hadn't really found a moment between the busy schedule of being in a band and the exhaustion that seemed to follow him those days. And you really were desperate for the touch of another person, although it was hardly desperation that would lead you into Jake's arms.

You watched as he put his phone back in his pocket and stood with a waiting look, waiting for either a quiet yes or a very loud no, probably.

He could take care of you. Maybe not as well as Josh can but, guitar fingers, and all…

"I can't believe I'm agreeing to this," you sighed as you shook your head, really stunned that it was happening at all, feeling even more riled up now that you knew it wouldn't just be you and your vibrator yet again.

But Jake wasn't stunned though, rather, he was pleased, and you eyed him carefully as a wide smile spread across his lips.

"Is that a yes? Are you gonna let me make you happy?"

You took a deep breath, a very deep breath, before you finally nodded, moisture already pooling between your legs quite shamelessly.

"That's…that's a yes."

It seemed impossible that his smile could grow even wider, but grow it did at your consent.

"Well shit now I'm nervous," he mused as he stepped toward you and took your waist in his hands to pull you into him without so much as letting you warm up to the idea.

But you gave him an eye roll knowing he was full of shit and hoping it hid your own nerves.

"No you're not," you answered back in a voice much closer to a whisper despite your best efforts not to let the nerves show in your voice.

"No, I'm not," he repeated with a devilish grin, and suddenly your heart was practically leaping out of your chest. "This isn't going to be very Josh-like," he said again, lifting one hand to your neck to let his thumb push your jaw up and angle your face toward him.

"I wouldn't expect it to be," you said in a whisper back, your voice already failing you, it seemed.

"I just need you to do one thing for me."

"What's that?"

"Let yourself relax," he smiled, probably smug due to the way you were practically melting in his hands already. "It'll be easier for me to make you feel good if you do."

You felt a knot form in your throat at his words, 'make you feel good', and you gulped it down.

"I don't know if I can," you admitted, your eyes locked to his as your breathing came faster in the background.

"Just breathe. I'm just here to make you happy," he smiled again as he dipped his face low to press his lips to your collarbone, earning a sharp gasp and the opposite of his order to breathe as he did so.

The feeling was immediate, the need, the pure ache. You wanted him to touch you, you wanted more, you wanted his hands and his lips all over your body. You needed him to help you come.

"I'll go slow, I promise," he assured you as he pulled you by the waist harder into his body, his lips growing feverish as they kissed along your skin up the side of your neck and along your jaw. "Ease you into it," he mumbled.

God, I don't want to go slow. Please don't make me go slow.

Your body practically cried out for him, for his touch. It was entirely different than Josh's. He felt entirely different than Josh. But it was breathtaking nonetheless, made all the better by the feeling that it was something you weren't supposed to have, like a deep sin that made your mouth water.

"What if I don't want you to go slow?" you breathed out in between the movements of his lips scrambling every coherent thought in your brain and he pulled back with a smile on his lips and a chuckle on his tongue.

"Then I'll go as fast as you want me, baby."

With that, he delved his hands into your hair and brought your face to his, kissing you hard and practically short-circuiting your brain in the process.

Oh god, he was good at that.

Never breaking the kiss, his hands searched blindly along the path to your bedroom, saving you from bumping into a few things along the way, before his hands finally got busy stripping you of your clothes when you reached the destination.

You might have been embarrassed, too, being seen by your boyfriend's twin naked for the first time, if it hadn't been for the desperation you'd been feeling for days now drawing you to him and his touch without shame. And once your clothes were happily scattered along your bedroom floor, he connected your lips yet again and backed you up against the nearest wall where your head hit with a thud, the pain absolutely nothing compared to the electric pleasure it sent jolting through your body.

There, with you against the wall, he silently sank to his knees, lifting your leg gently up over his shoulder as he came eye-level with your heat.

Fuck, yes, put your mouth on me. A tongue is so much better than a toy.

You were afraid to look down at him, afraid you'd remember it was Jake there instead of Josh and suddenly freak out before you got what it was you wanted. So instead, you fixed your eyes to the wall opposite you and didn't dare stop him as he dove between your legs, flicking his tongue across your aching, throbbing clit.

"Oh fuck," you gasped, your hands immediately moving to grab at his hair.

It was harder to grab than Josh's but just as easy to pull.

Your hips sought friction along his face as he ate you with fervency, his tongue taking turns flicking your clit and rolling it on the tip of his tongue and delving into you to taste you better.

And Jake's tongue was good but Josh's tongue was better. But when it came to fingers though, it was the exact opposite, evident in the almost pornographic moan that slurred from your lips as Jake prodded a finger into you and began to pump while his lips wrapped around your clit to suck.

"Holy shit, that feels good, don't stop," you breathed out like it was A singular word as your leg still up around his shoulder clamped down tighter, drawing him closer to you and keeping him there.

He only hummed against you, lapping at your clit like he was starved as he continued to curl his finger to brush against your g-spot like he'd had no trouble finding it, soon adding another finger to the mix as he worked to relieve you of the tension that had wound so tightly over the course of, well, the last month really.

You shamelessly ground against his face, writhing against the wall, making sounds louder than you would have thought in his hands. You'd be embarrassed when he came up for air but for now, your focus was tunneling in on one thing and one thing only, the thing you'd been needing since before he'd set foot in your home: the orgasm about to tear through your body and release itself on his tongue.

The wet sound of his tongue lapping at your center was obscene but it only spurred forward your pleasure as the first waves of your orgasm began to roll through you and an ungodly noise escaped your lips like a cry.

God, it felt good to come undone at someone else's hands other than your own, especially Jake's very skilled ones.

He worked you through it diligently, lapping it up until you were so sensitive, your hands pushed his face away and you squirmed against the wall. But Jake didn't stop his movements, didn't even slow them.

"Oh god, Jake, please, too much," you pleaded with him as he continued to pump his fingers in and out of you.

He seemed almost to press his lips harder against you, seemed to suck your clit harder as you writhe and struggled to see straight, struggled to stand straight.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck," you whispered as your vision began to go blurry, and suddenly overstimulation threatened to turn into another orgasm, a little more dull but still breathtakingly pleasurable as it approached out of almost nowhere.

He kept going to push you through it despite your body trying to retreat from the feeling. And with your fingers unable to find any purchase against the smooth wall, you held onto his head for dear life to keep your legs from buckling.

And then the second one hit you, taking every bit of air from your lungs as it did. You were pretty sure you were hurting him, too, with the way you grabbed at his hair and pulled, but you didn't really care and he didn't seem to care because he worked you through it with his fingers, licking around the sensitive bundle of nerves instead of directly over it as his fingers curled and grazed that spot with a slower rhythm until he stopped altogether and stood to his feet, catching you against him before your legs had the opportunity to give out.

"Those fucking noises," he whispered into you hair as he gave you a minute to breathe and regain your strength.

Only a minute though.

With his hands in your hair again, he pulled your head back to look at him, taking in the way your face flushed and the drained look you were already wearing with a pleased smile.

"I need you to stand for me, okay? Just a little longer," he asked in a soft voice that could have killed you, really. Like he was pleading with you to be good for him just a little longer.

And God, did you want to be good for him just a little bit longer.

With a nod of agreement, he walked you back toward the bed.

"Good, turn around and put your hands on the bed."

You did as you were told even though your legs were absolutely shaking and you weren't entirely sure how long you'd be able to maintain the position.

But then you felt the heat of his skin behind you, the rock hard feeling of his erection pressed against the back of your leg, and you no longer cared about the burn. It didn't even register in your mind.

"Tell me if I'm too rough, okay?" he asked in a whisper against your ear as he leaned over you one last time.

Please be too rough.

"Yes, sir," you whispered back, something you'd never said in bed before since Josh wasn't really the type but something Jake seemed to utterly enjoy judging by the way his cock twitched against your thigh.

"Ooh, I like that," he answered, a smile palpable in his voice as he straightened.

From behind you, you heard the work of him pulling a condom out of somewhere, probably his wallet in his discarded jeans, and you waited as patiently as you were capable of for him to wrap it around himself and line himself up with your entrance. Not that patient, truthfully, as you stood there practically presenting yourself to him, pushing back against nothing until finally it was him there.

"Such a good girl, falling in line for me so easily," he dropped his sweeter demeanor in favor of one a little bit cocky for your taste.

Not that you weren't falling in line very easily for him.

But every thought in your head flooded out the window as he pushed into you, one long, languid thrust to the hilt that had you moaning at the feeling, the strength of your arms being tested under the weight of dizzying pleasure.

"I think you secretly wanted this the moment I showed up. I think you like being a little slut," he grunted as he withdrew and gave you another sharp thrust.

"Yes, fuck, I wanted it," you admitted. Really anything just to spur him on.

"What was that?" he asked in a growl, his hands grabbing your hips and holding you down on his cock as you clenched around him.

"I wanted it, sir," you corrected yourself in the sweetest voice you could manage.

It seemed to please.

"There it is," he muttered as he rewarded you instantly with a threatening pace.

It was wholly different than being with Josh, the way he spoke, the way his teeth clenched as he fucked you like he was trying not to spill inside of you already. He was a lot rougher although there was still something gentle in the way his hands wrapped around your hips and guided you back to meet his thrusts, even if his words were far from gentle.

"Fuck, you are tight," he mumbled to himself before raising his voice to speak to you again. "I wanna hear you. I wanna hear you beg for my cock. Beg me for more."

He really didn't have to ask twice.

"Please, Jake, more, keep going. Your cock feels so fucking good inside of me but I need more. I need it harder," you begged, practically sobbed, totally unaware that you had called him Jake and not sir.

But he had caught it.

"Fuck, that was almost perfect, baby," he said with a frustrated tone as he halted his movements suddenly, begrudgingly.

"Fuck! No, I meant sir, please, sir, don't stop," you begged as you realized your mistake, your hips wiggling to try and do the work yourself, to try and coax him back into fucking you.

"You're gonna have to do better than that," he answered, breathing already labored despite the fact that he was still very much in control of the situation.

You were doing the work yourself, pushing your hips back onto his, but there wasn't much power behind it and it left you wanting more, desperate to come again even though you had twice before.

"Please, sir, fuck me harder, please," you tried again, saying anything you could think of that might have ignited some mercy in him. "I need to feel your cock filling me up, I need to come all over it, sir."

And finally, he lifted you into a stand by your hair, just to whisper into your ear, "See? That's how you get what you fucking want," before dropping you back down onto the mattress and thrusting into you so hard that you had no time to regain your stance as he fucked you face first into the mattress, using it as an opportunity to get better leverage to push into you.

You were fairly certain you were leaving the planet, fairly certain you were ascending to something higher, practically drunk on his cock and his words, his fucking words. And the flow of obscenities and unholy noises on your tongue came freely, uninhibited as he fucked you into an almost mindless state.

"Is this what you want, you little slut? You want me to fuck you into the mattress like this?"

"Yes, sir, just like that, just like that." It was broken sobs more than words as your eyes began to water.

Josh didn't fuck you like this and while you didn't need it to be a regular thing, it felt good to be had like this after the frustration of not seeing your boyfriend yet again. It felt good to be taken care of.

It felt good to just be railed, really.

His hand splayed flat on your back between your shoulder blades, keeping you pressed into the mattress, which was probably a good thing as it muffled your cries, and with your legs shaking and your ass still presented to him, he angled up to hit your g-spot better, harder, doing most of the work now to keep you standing.

You were going to come, it wasn't really a choice. It was going to tear through you without any mercy if he kept doing what he was doing and saying what he was saying.

"You gonna remember the way this feels? You gonna remember how it felt being drunk on my cock when you're alone with your fingers inside of you and a toy pressed to your needy little clit?"

I'm going to think about it almost every day.

You couldn't even form words as your eyes began to roll and pleasure began to take over.

"Yeah, I think you are," he grunted in smug satisfaction.

"Sir, I'm gonna come," you sobbed suddenly, not entirely sure if you'd need permission but not wanting to risk it just in case.

You desperately needed to come around him, you needed it more than you needed air in your lungs.

"Not unless you ask fucking nicely, you're not," he growled, hips still snapping hard up into yours, even as his rhythm began to falter.

It was hard to form words but you did your best to find something that would satisfy him. The truth, as it turned out.

"Please, sir, can I come? Can I please come on your cock, sir? I want it so badly, so fucking badly," you begged as you cried through the pleasure.

"Well shit," was all he said for a second as he pounded into you like he was going to come himself.

But then finally, he seemed to regain himself and he tangled his hand in your hair to pull you back onto his cock with even more force.

"Come for me, baby, come all over my cock. Make a mess of it."

It was all you needed to come screaming his name into the mattress as he released inside of you with an unholy sound that you'd remember until the day you died.

His movements were choppy that time as he worked you through it, milking himself at the same time before he finally pulled out and left you standing there, legs like jello as he took a step back to admire his work.

"Now that's a fucking sight," he whispered to himself.

And then he was there helping you stand and carrying you to the bathroom to clean you up.

"I didn't break you, did I?" he asked as he set you down in the bathroom and began wiping you off with warm water.

"No, no, I'm-I'm good," you answered, voice still just as shaky as your legs.

It made him laugh.

"Little bit rougher-"

"Little bit rougher than-yeah," you nodded, absolutely out of breath.

A lot rougher than Josh.

Interesting.

"Let me get you to bed," he said finally as he finished with you and himself, helping you back to the bed you'd come from.

"There's no part of date night that I missed, is there?" he asked as he tucked you snugly beneath the covers, into the warmth of relief from the tension, finally.

"Well, Josh usually stays with me," you gave a light smile and he laughed again before nodding.

"Of course," he whispered as he climbed into bed next to you, keeping a bit of distance between you but not arguing when you practically burrowed into his side.

Just for the night.

"I know this is never happening again," he started after a beat of silence, "but for what it's worth, I'll be thinking about it for a very long time."

It was your turn to laugh and though you agreed, you didn't admit it.

"Thank you, Jake," was all you said. "Thank you for a good date night."

When you woke, it was Josh next to you instead of his twin. And in the sleepy haze of early morning, you stared up at him, the beautiful boy sleeping peacefully, and you couldn't help but smile to yourself as you drifted back to sleep.

[pricegouge]

my memory is so bad so if u’ve done this before just ignore but bear!price taking care of bunny on her period by snacks cuddles & orgasms :] & the sight & taste of her blood on him just makes him go a bit feral. sorry if it’s too weird😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Forgetful fighters unite 👊🏻

Sorry this took so long! Weirdly busy and then it turned out I actually needed this treatment too so uhh… hopefully it's not too late to bring you comfort, but at least it's a long one?

There actually is some of this in the actual fic (ch. 7? I think? Idk, I also forgot.) That being said, let's get you some fruit, bitch.

CW for period sex & oral. Tampon stays in for some of the foreplay, sorry. Pussy slapping, rough sex, breeding kink, light primal play, spit kink, mild dub con, and a spoiler for the main story if you haven't read it yet.

I think this'll have to be pretty early on in their relationship just because I like when Bunny's not used to being spoiled okay bye hope you enjoy :)

You're pretty sure he takes it personally, as if each cycle that passes is a mark against his abilities as both a man and a bear. John had yet to admit it but you knew he wanted to breed you, and every month marked by the arrival of your period meant he'd failed (you weren't even letting him try yet, really); worse, he'd let his mate suffer through another week of ill-designed resource waste.

He told you once he can smell it on you days before it actually started. It was weird, sure, but hard to complain when it always triggered some sort of pseudo-sympathetic response in him. He'd get grouchy because he was ridiculous, but never with you. Instead he spends the days leading up to your period doing some sort of nesting ritual comprised of overstuffing his cabinets with more pads, tampons, and snacks than you'd ever be able to use up in a single cycle. And towels. You're pretty certain no one has ever just happened to own this many towels.

"Maybe we should go back to pretending you don't know what my uterus is up to?" You'd teased him once while helping to unload his latest haul. You couldn't imagine him feeling obliged to buy you super plus overnight pads, an industrial sized bottle of midol, and what seemed to be an entire production run of your favorite Ben & Jerry's flavor was anyway to keep the romance alive after all. 

But John had looked so dejected at your suggestion. "Why? Did I forget something?" 

"Freezer space?" You'd laughed, shaking a bulk box of potato skins at him.

But it was no laughing matter the next day when you felt like you could've eaten him out of house and home if not for how thoroughly he'd prepared. You haven't teased him about it since, too scared to ruin a good thing. 

That doesn't mean you've gotten used to all the ways he likes to spoil you this time of month, though.

John's always so good at taking care of you, it's kind of unfair. You never plan on leaving him but it's times like this - when you've been airheaded and confused all day, snapping at coworkers for no good reason and apologizing minutes later when you realize you were the problem all along; when you let yourself back into his apartment and curl up to rot on the couch, too tired to even make yourself dinner while you wait on John to wrap up at the bar only for him to stumble through the door hours later with a hot to go container of garbage nachos and a paper bag tucked under his arm full of pads and tampons and more snacks than you'd ever be able to eat in your life -.

It's times like this when you realize if you ever do leave him, you'll be totally fucked.

"Is that what's wrong with me today?" you ask, pointing your toe at the haul he's currently unloading onto the counter.

He sniffs the air pointedly just because he knows it'll make you scrunch up your nose in distaste. "Tomorrow morning, I'd say."

You groan as you sit up, preparing yourself for the trek to the kitchen to get sustenance, but John brings you the nachos before you can get much further than the edge of the couch. "Thanks," you mumble as he places them in front of you, leaning over to press a kiss to your forehead. 

Or at least he pretends to. When he lingers, mouth moving against your skin, you know he's checking your temp. "You're welcome, honey. How you feeling?"

"Fine. Just tired and kinda airheaded."

"Poor bunny."

You hum in agreement but it turns to pleasure as you open the nachos up and get hit in the face with the smell of pulled pork and melty cheese. It's still hot which means it was the last thing the kitchen made before cleaning, probably kept in the oven even after it had been shut off to help keep it fresh while he ran to the store. Sometimes it makes you want to cry how thoughtful he is, but you ask him if he'd like to share instead. John shakes his head, eyeing the jalapenos warily. You snag one off the top and eat it plain just to show off. It's fresh and crunchy, none of that pickled shit. Delicious. "You still gonna kiss me later?"

Laughing quietly, John pulls you in for a quick, whiskery kiss. "Gonna take more than some greenery to stop me there."

***

Your cramps wake you up earlier than God the next morning. Despite it being only three in the morning, John's awake when you crawl back in bed, holding his arms wide for you to slide between. He could sleep through an earthquake, maybe even a robbery; but he always stirred awake if you left the bed for more than five minutes. 

"Need me, bunny?" 

You do, but you can't admit it yet. "Can you be big spoon?" You ask instead, knowing full well that wasn't quite what he meant.

He knew you knew it too, cocky bastard. Voice too thick to be properly chuffed, he still sounded quite pleased with himself when he rolled you over with a thick, "Of course, honey." 

John always runs at a temperature you're fairly certain should've gotten him admitted to a long term care unit by now, but in the dead of night, when he's all sleep soft and blanket warm, his skin is positively sweltering. He uses it to his advantage now, sealing himself against your achy back and reaching around you to cup what he can of your lower belly in his wide palm, letting you dictate how much pressure he uses. 

"Thanks," you grumble when he gets it just right, and you feel the bristle of his mustache when he smiles against the nape of your neck.

"Whatever you need, sweetheart." 

Whether you admit it or not, he means. 

He's patient enough to wait until you start wiggling in pain. He's not always. Sometimes the pressure of his hands turns groping, or his length grows against your back when he plants his nose to the hollow behind your ear, samples your scent with each breath. He'll tell you you smell good if you're lucky, some variation of 'delicious' if you're not. And now, while his actions are patient, his words aren't. "Smell good enough to eat, bunny."

Heat climbs up your throat, flames your cheeks. The problem is, he means it, and you're never sure what to do with that information.

"Wanna sleep, John," you breathe, lying. He drops it for the night anyway, letting you rest as peacefully as you are able with his body pressed up against your own.

***

He's lazy with you all morning, sitting you between his thick thighs and letting you lean against his chest as he sprawls across the couch. Officially, you're watching a movie together, but John does not seem at all engrossed in it; too busy running his hands up your thighs, middle finger following the seam of your bottoms far too high. It's embarrassing, your paranoia telling you you're leaking, growing damp under his palm. You know that's what he wants, though; wants you soaked, has never been too particular about the details of it.

Well, that's not entirely fair. John loves when you're soaked in blood. 

"Never been one to turn my nose up at a nice juicy rabbit," he'd told you once, and something about his tone made it clear he didn't mean turning you down over something as trivial as blood.

"Should I be worried you're gonna eat me some day?" You'd asked, laugh slightly nervous. 

"Oh, bunny," he'd leered, "I'm gonna eat you now."

It drove him crazy. Made him so hungry for you there were days you wouldn't even get cramps because he wouldn't leave you alone long enough for them to develop. Today wouldn't be one of those days - couldn't be, because he had to work later -, but the way he's actually bothering to take his time, building up your pleasure before he even technically gets his hands on you, you know he's planning on leaving you unwound for hours.

He doesn't bother slipping beneath the hem of your loose bottoms when he does finally give up pretenses, rubbing you through the thin material with the flat of his fingers. You know your concerns were valid when he groans. 

"So wet for me, sweetheart." His hand comes away streaked slightly red, and you only squawk a little when he licks it clean. 

This time he gets his fingers under your hem, eager as they explore your folds, seeking the font at the center of you. He grunts as if in disappointment when he feels the string of your tampon, but then laughs meanly, a low rumble in his chest which spills from him like springtime melt off over the gravel of a dry creek bed.

"Got you this wet even with this thing in, did I?" 

"That's not how it -." 

"No?" His free hand pulls your waist band down to your thighs. He shows you the mess he's made, sticky cum stringing between his fingers where it doesn't quite mix perfectly with the blood that stains his fingers. "What's this, then? Hm?" You feel like you might spontaneously combust when he licks his fingers again, groaning. "Tastes like cum to me." 

"John," you whine, tummy fluttering in a way you're not sure you're completely on board with. 

"You love it," he asserts anyway, and you're in no position to argue when his spit soaked fingers find your clit again.

He never fills you with anything more than you already have, makes you whine your dissatisfaction into the crook of his neck. You cum anyway, pussy throbbing the kind of womb-deep pain that comes easiest this time of month. He slaps you there, after, the sharp jolts making you clenching down hard enough to have your cervix aching deliciously.

When he deems you've had enough time to recover, John orders you bed.

"Gotta…" you point illustratively at the bathroom and he nods once in understanding. 

"Don't bother cleaning up though, only gonna make more of a mess." 

"You're a dog," you tell him, and then very much do clean yourself up, because it's a very heavy flow day and no one needs all that. 

He's still in his sweats when you return to him, lounging across a towel-covered bed. He pouts when he sees you've cleaned up, but is easily soothed with kisses when he pulls you into his lap. You don't bother commenting on his sweats after he leans back and slides you up his belly, encouraging you to grind against the thick thatch of hair there. It's soft, doesn't provide enough friction to do anything other than make you leak all over him. John does not seem sympathetic, too engrossed in the way his hair darkens under your ministrations, gleaming wetly in the sunlight streaming through the window. When his thumb finds your clit, he's rough about it. He holds you in place with his free hand wrapped around to the small of your back, only letting you move enough to keep you rocking against him. He doesn't build up to it, just instantly starts in with the kind of tight, firm circles that make you buck in overstimulation, moaning when you find you have nowhere to go.

"Christ, listen to her." Embarrassment floods you when you realize he's not talking about the pathetic noises falling from your mouth. It's like he's commenting on some particularly nice weather when he continues, "Nothing better than the sound of a bloody, wet cunt."

You cum with a sharp cry when he switches his thumb out for a mean press of two knuckles against you, and it's like he hardly even notices, eyes still latched on where you stain his skin. He doesn't let you ride it out either, drawing his hand away the second he feels your pussy flutter over his belly, clenching around nothing. You watch him lick his fingers clean as he tips you over onto the bed. He doesn't take his eyes from your core when he follows, kneeling between your feet before lowering himself to his belly. 

He looks starved. Looks more bear than man, honestly.

"If you lick your chops I swear I'm kicking you out of bed." 

A single huff of laughter blows across your mons, cool where it meets your soaked skin. John does in fact lick his chops, an aborted little joke he's too focused to fully sell. It makes you squirm, the way he looks at you - a butterfly pinned before it's fully died. Part of you hates how much you love this, still feels dirty whenever you see him bloody down to his chest. Despite his eagerness, there's always a nagging thought at the back of your mind which wonders if he's putting on a show for you, if he feels like he owes you this because it's the best way to make you feel better. The fucking was one thing - half driven insane the way he is each month by the fact you're still not full of his cubs, you suppose the fucking makes sense. Still, there's no way he wants this, surely.

But John never looks more bear-like than he does in these moments, half starved and rabid as he stares down at you like his latest kill, and you know there is simply no faking how much he wants you. 

"Pretty little cunt doesn't know what's good for her, bunny." John's voice is thick and dark as the blood that paints his lips. "Won't take my seed, keeps wasting all your energy on this bloody little cycle." He tuts, hands spreading your thighs so he can better fit between them. "Have to try harder, won't we?" 

He doesn't give you a chance to respond, licking along the crease of your thigh and groaning at the salty mix of sweat and spend. It's all so hot, slick. The rough texture of his tongue barely even noticeable through the juices that coat it when he licks fat stripes across the whole of you. He's sloppy, huffing and groaning into you each time he finds some new reserve of slick hidden within your folds. Usually, John likes to get you sighing in pleasure before he gets his fingers on you like this, but he isn't patient enough today, it seems. After licking you clean, he moves onto your clit and gives it some sweet little kisses that smack horribly, his fingers finding your entrance and drawing out more blood and slick which he doesn't hesitate to lick up as well. 

"Taste so fucking good, bunny," he growls; or at least, you think he does. Hard to be sure, the way he speaks directly to your pussy. When he does draw back to be sure you hear him, his beard is matted and soaked, his eyes wine dark. "Wanna split you open bunny."

You're not sure he means on his cock, but that's what you get anyway. 

John doesn't bother rubbing your slick over him, just pushes his waistband under his balls and lines himself up, sinking to his root with a heavy groan; his head bowed forward like he doesn't have the energy left to support it. It aches but you're powerless to do anything but take it, loving the way he notches against the very end of you, cervix so sore and sensitive he puts you on the knife edge of pain and pleasure without even trying. Your hands grapple up his thick forearms and he finally seems to notice your presence underneath him, lowering himself enough he can lick into your mouth. His mustache is soaked where it presses against you, smell strong enough to flip your tummy a bit. 

John notices. He chuckles, not giving you an inch to breathe. "Rabbits don't like blood, do they?" 

You shake your head, hypocrisy burning your throat at the way you enjoy him eating you out despite the blood when you can't stomach the same. 

"That's right, need your bear to take care of you like this, don't you?" His hips draw back in one smooth motion, accentuate his words when they snap back in.

"Yes, please," you stutter. Worked up and teased as you are, you know you won't last long. 

"Don't worry, bunny. I'll take care of you." He pushes himself back up so he looms over you, forearms flexing under your fingertips. He shakes one of your hands loose, bears his hips into you to support his weight as he brings one hand up to your jaw, fingers staining as he tilts your face just so, hinging your mouth open. "I'll fuck you just like you need, but you're gonna let me use that mouth however I want."

Even his spit is blood stained and pink as he dangles a string of it into your mouth. You whine at the taste when it coats your tongue, rust and salt. Somehow more metallic than even the smell of it. 

A predator sensing weakness, John snarls at your whine, shoves all four of his coated fingers into your mouth while his thumb strokes your jaw, too heavy to be soothing. "Suck," he orders, voice barely human. You wonder how close his other form is to the surface, if the fingers in your mouth will change shape if you can't appease him. Assure him you're his adamantly enough. The thought makes you clench on his cock, sucking the wide breadth of his fingers messily.

"Good rabbit," he growls. He adjusts your hips against his own, sinks impossibly deeper. He barely bothers to pull out when he fucks you, thatch of hair over his cock grinding against your clit as he rocks into you. When he speaks again, you're not certain you're supposed to hear.

"Drive me fucking crazy, bunny. Walking around smelling like my next fucking meal." His hips slap into you, pace increasing but depth never changing. 

You whine around the fingers in your mouth, hands scrambling over his chest, down his belly. You remember how full he'd been after Phil, the way his skin had been drawn so taut. His words should scare you, probably, but his teeth are none too sharp when he sinks them into the fat of your breast. 

"Shit, John," you hiss and he releases your flesh with a slobbery sound.

"Gonna fill you with my cub so I can drink from these too," he promises. You just nod dumbly, the thought of him feeding from you in any way he wanted doing things for you you never thought it would. "Get you full of my cub so you can stop. Fucking. Bleeding all the time," his hips accentuate his words and you groan, fingers finding your clit until he rips his hand from your mouth and slaps you away. Spit soaked, he rubs your clit deliciously, only getting more assertive when your hips fall open for him like a flower in bloom. 

"Dangerous thing, bunny. Blood in the water. He leans over, weight pinning you when he takes your earlobe into his mouth with bloody force. "Tasty little thing, too. Gonna eat you right up," he snarls.

Your orgasm pulls his from him, the two of you moaning into each other's mouths between wet, sloppy licks. It's hard to mind the taste when your whole body is pulsing deliciously, a flood of blood and cum flowing from you when John pulls out. It feels like he's taken a whole day off your period when you see how much of a mess he's made. 

He knows how your head can throb briefly, after coming with his cock lodged in your cervix. John lays you across the pillows while he starts cleaning up, bringing a wet washcloth out to wipe the worst of the mess from you. When you're ready, he joins you in the shower, lathering you both up until the water runs clear. 

"Feeling better, honey?" he asks, nose buried in the crook of your neck. Innocent and sweet, like he didn't just threaten to impregnate and eat you by turns. 

"For now." You're still rubbing soap into his hairy belly absently, so you grope the soft flesh there and laugh when he jolts. "You're not gonna eat me, are you?"

You feel his huff of laughter. He begins to shake his head and then thinks better of it, standing to his full height so he can tower over you when he says, "Depends on how soon you let me put a baby in you."

Next>>

[ahsoka-in-a-hood]

You know something that bothers me in Time Travel Aus and some fics Obikin centered? Obi-Wan's reactions. Like I only really ship Obikin via their dynamic in Rots and CW while fully acknowledging the etnics involved considering everything Anakin did when going Vader (or falling into it), and yet... The fact that people make Obi-Wan have certain attractions to him while he was underage unsettles me. Because when I saw Aotc, Obi-Wan seemed to view him mostly in the lenses of a exasperated father (or coworker), with some moments of reassurance and fondness. Only when he stops being his padawan does that shift to be more equals (dunno how that was portrayed in the OWK show, haven't seen it).

And while I'm aware that wasn't the intention, whenever I see Obi-Wan time travelling to when Anakin was a kid or teen, it feels weirdly similar to grooming, where Anakin simply shifts his obsession with Padmé to Obi. Dunno if it's just a peev of mine, but wanted your opinion.

I must admit I am eyeing this ask a little warily, all things considered. But! assuming this is in good faith…

You may have noticed that when I go on my periodic obikin spirals I tend more to vaderwan; it's the version I was drawn to first and still find most compelling for me. So I'm not the best person to ask for a breakdown of the dynamics you mentioned, but I'm not without insights I guess.

I would say that Obi Wan being attracted to teenage padawan Anakin-or more importantly acting on it- is a darker take on his character… this is an angle someone might find it interesting to mess around with. (and sometimes being unsettled can be the point)

For example Obi Wan -> padakin may be appealing for Obi Wan's character by making him less than respectable, with desires and passions that he has very carefully squirreled away, but that Anakin pushes against and through the boundaries of..

Or your scenario with the time travel- I think I have read something along those lines, but it was fairly self-aware about it. This would be post- rots for Obi Wan, so the stakes are different. And you could play with him getting manipulative.

It sounds like it's not for you though!

Vaderwan is also dark, but in a different way. The OWK show doesn't exactly bring sex into it, it just depicts them as completely undone by each other, their souls consumed by each other, eaten away with grief and guilt and rage for ten entire years……………………………………………………………………

*shrug* This is playing with dolls to me. I have a mental closet with dozens of little Obi Wans and Anakins and Padmes and Ahsokas and Codys in various outfits (the outfits mostly being different takes on them etc). I'll toy with just about any ship involving my blorbos, but I'm not going to necessarily be drawn to every permutation either.

idk idk.

[purpurussy]

literally haven't eaten anything all day (it's gone 7pm) or been outside in several days or slept more than 4 hours/night in the last week so im probably just being insane for no reason atm but

i feel like I'm at a weird sort of crossroads with this blog?

when i made this account i saw it as kind of an experiment in vulnerability and positivity. i said i'm gonna try my best to post what's in my heart and not care whether it does numbers or not. if people like it they like it, if not that's okay because i like it and i'm having fun. and i'm gonna practise some kind of general radical positivity/acceptance towards others too. like i promised myself i would not allow this to be anything other than a positive experience, a nice opportunity to express myself in a way that's disconnected from how people see me irl and maybe connect with likeminded people along the way

and once i started writing fic i literally couldn't stop, like the idea of being able to share my writing and have other people enjoy it too is so exciting and motivating to me. there is so much happening in my google docs atm and it feels so good to be writing again after years of feeling too depressed to create anything

however unfortunately i am the grumpiest most insecure person on earth and i have never let go of anything in my life. i've already been unable to stop myself from wading into discourse™ and the general social media fomo/insecurity is starting to get to me. like when did i go from just gleefully shouting into the void, to constantly checking my activity, trying to figure out the best times to post, literally crying when my stuff doesn't do as well as i wanted it to??? taking note of which posts flopped and which ones did well, so i can post more of the popular content instead of just posting what i want. none of this is even real, yet it's been bothering me in a very real way. most of which is just my brain turning it into a negative experience for fully self-imposed reasons

i do think social media is poison in general. and i know it does not work at all for someone who is very prone to having a complete menty b at the first sign of any kind of rejection. and i know a big part of the problem is that i'm attaching too much value to this blog and how people respond to my posts (I have been connecting with my friends irl more lately, but social media is literally designed to prey on the part of your brain that perceives social rejection as a threat to your existence so unfortunately it feels like this matters to me a lot more than it should. also my irls do not want to hear about dan and phil lmao)

idk if i should just accept that this is not good for me and delete, or if it's possible to once again achieve the carefree fun i was having at first. maybe if i can work on my irl issues i'll start to feel a bit better and then it won't bother me as much?

i'm also sort of wondering how much i should reveal about myself? like i want to feel completely free to post as much cringe/insanity/weird smut as I want. and if i was posting in a way that would be easily traceable back to my actual identity then i'd definitely be a lot more careful with what i say. but on the other hand i wanna get to know people better! it would be fun to hop into a discord and actually have a conversation with people rather than just rambling in the tags on their posts. so i'm not really sure what to do with that either. it's kinda fun to truly exist as a completely formless entity in a way, like im literally just tumblr dot com slash purpurussy and there's something freeing about that, even if it does make me feel like i'm missing out on a chance to connect with people properly sometimes

also that idea scares me! everyone on here is genuinely so cool and wonderful and it gives me such a huge dopamime hit when someone i admire likes my stuff. so it's just scary to interact with people more because it feels like oh no they're gonna realize im actually a cantankerous little troll that lives under a bridge and is a nightmare to talk to lmfao

this makes no sense and i'll probably delete it in a bit i just had to get it off my chest

[system-reset]

Jeff's Unappealing Rice

ingredients:

rice

any and all spices you have

any condiments you want

directions:

make rice

add spices and/or condiments to your hearts desire.

thats it tbh... I have nothing else to eat rn so.

idk add an egg or something if you want

"why is it called unappealing?"

because the ingredients I used make it look fuckin gross. smells good though. haven't actually eaten it yet...

[playername-player-of-games]

:0 👀👀👀

imma tell u about lizzie n joel ok so so so

Lizzie is a lady of the lake style lake spirit who pops out of a lake and talks to Cleo. Idk what her deal is yet or what she's doin or how she serves the story in any way yet but im getting there

she is entirely made of water

she is always crying

i just had the idea to put her in an amulet and have cleo escort her back to the ocean so i might do something with that

because the idea of a goddess of the ocean being trapped in a lake is honestly kinda interesting to me. she could attack anyone who comes into the clearing. there's some legend about how if you make it to her then you get three wishes but really you just get eaten. could be fun i'll have to spin that some more

Joel is a vex !!! he's a lil pixie sprite kinda guy !! he and scar are buddies because i miss magic mountain !!!

he's also married to lizzie. he's the one who goes with cleo to figure out the whole ocean's blessing orb/amulet thing so they can put lizzie back in the ocean. the entire time cleo is like okay once i put the goddess in here i'll smash it and collect her heart and that'll be job done, but then joel goes off on some tangent about how much he loves his wife and she's like. man. i can't do that to him.

it takes a LOT for her to change her mind about it tho. lots of etho nagging as well sjdflksj

i haven't decided if oli is in it yet because he is not a life series guy. if he's in the next season then maybe

[kyoosoup]

my younger brother and I were bored and got to talking about our favorite foods and the best food/food experiences we've had so far in our lives, so I thought I'd share our results

this conversation started somewhere with me mentioning my brother's favorite strawberry smoothie and asking him how he would rate it on a scale from 1-10. He gave it a solid 9. Now although I can't personally say that I enjoy that smoothie as a 9/10, I cannot argue with it as I know it has quite a bit of potential. I've just never liked strawberries as much as others may. I personally am more of a mango person. But, nevertheless, I can imagine the joy the specific smoothie might bring someone.

I followed up my inquiry with asking my brother what else he would give a similar or better rating than the smoothie. we ended up agreeing that the first time we tried cream soda was also a 9/10 ranking. I also offered up the ice cream floats we used to have at our grandparents' house, and my brother countered with the chocolate milk that we had there. we agreed that both of those hit the spot. Solid 9/10s , or perhaps higher. I remember on a roadtrip I drank a strawberry daiquiri or something and i was obsessed with it but I couldn't tell you what it tasted like and I honestly had forgotten about its existence until today

We then got to discussing foods. It was without question that the best food we had consumed thus far was sushi. Specifically the sushi two of our friends brought us and our brother to. the chef prepared it in front of us and each piece of sushi melted in our mouths. My brother gave this experience an 11/10. And I agree. but we also realized that this would have been only a 10/10 had we not gone with those specific friends. shared joy or something.

what else were the best specific foods we've had? I couldn't think of a specific day that stood out, but I really enjoy my mom's wonton soup. I have never had better wonton soup than when my mom makes it. 10/10. The first time I had Xiao long bao would also be a top food experience. Eating a hot dumpling with soup inside??? yummy. 10/10 would recommend. When we were younger, my brothers and I used to be addicted to har gow. They are still pretty good, but I don't think I can say they are the same level as they were. But at their peak, also 10/10s. In another genre of food, I remember a specific burger I had at home one day. It was loaded with the toppings and for added flavor my dad offered me truffle mustard. I think that might've been the best burger I've ever had because I still think about it whenever I eat a burger. And I compare my burgers to it still 10/10. Another specific memory was I went on a trip with my dad to Albany and I barely remember anything about that trip except we stopped at an old lady's house (I assume we knew her somehow but idk) and that's where I had the best peanut butter and jelly sandwich I've ever had and ever will have. It might've been grilled I can't remember, but I remember eating it and it was perfect. I don't even like PBJ thatttt much but that one specific sandwich was so good. Some of the first times I had good steak were probably 10/10s. One time my dad made an egg salad sandwich or something idk I can't remember it had a bunch of random stuff on it but it was really good. I still think about it sometimes.

In a similar manner my brother and I talked about desserts. Brownies are consistently good, at least when my mom makes it. My brother said my mom's red velvet brownies were one of his top picks, and I think I can agree with that. Both 10/10s. I think the first time I had lava cakes would be another. Also the first time I had red bean soup with mochi. man I kinda want that now. I used to LOVE red bean soup (I still do and thinking about this is making me hungry I haven't eaten anything today yet). 10/10. The first time I had mango ice cream mochi. These frozen oranges I remember eating at a restaurant in a city?? when I was really young. But I'd say my top snack/dessert experience was when my mom was making up a snickerdoodle cookie recipe and me and my brothers were playing outside and she had us try the cookies and they were warm and yeah that was the best. 11/10 perhaps. Snickerdoodles are still pretty good .

I'm trying to think if there were any more specific food experiences but I'm having trouble thinking and all this food talk is making me hungry.

if you made it this far you should do a jumping jack

[wenamedthedogkylo]

Idk if I'm gonna be able to put this in a coherent way rn, but to me it is incredibly fun and interesting to see all the different takes from the fandom on the fictional theology of Exandria, because that seems to me to be much more in line with the point of this campaign. Like to me, whether or not the endgame is to have the party save the gods or help get rid of them is completely irrelevant. I get why people are hung up on that, but I think that focusing only on what the tangible outcome will be—focusing only on what the party will actually end up doing—is missing the point.

The way I see it, the discussion itself of whether the gods are worth saving or not is the point or the theme. We know that the cast all kind of agree upon themes they want to explore before starting a campaign, and this is a pretty hefty one to tackle, but it's a very important one because it's generating conversation where there might otherwise not be any.

There are some pro-gods takes that have me—as someone who personally has had almost exclusively terrible experiences with religious people and certain gods—instinctively recoiling and shaking my head. But there is also validity to the takes that a lot of the anti-gods rhetoric coming out of the NPCs especially is of a very particular brand that most of us dislike almost as much as we dislike proselytizers and zealots. All of those angles being discussed in tandem, that is the point more than anything else as far as I can tell.

In fact, if I were to guess at what theme or point is being presented here, it's that this is not a simple topic and allowing one person or even a single small group of people to decide something as monumental as this for the whole world is categorically insane and unjust. The point is to get people thinking critically about their relationship to faith and gods in conjunction with understanding the relationships others have as well, and to work together to find a solution that is more amicable for everyone involved rather than a solution that makes assumptions for others or only caters to one set of beliefs. It's to understand that one voice should not be heard louder than the others when the fate of millions is at stake. Whether that one voice is the zealotry of Vasselheim or the zealotry of Ludinus Da'leth, because zealotry in ALL its forms is toxic and destructive.

It's not about "are you pro-god or anti-god." It's about "one person should not get to decide the fate of everyone in the world, and one set of beliefs should not get to reign supreme and control everyone's futures." And while I personally lean more in the direction of being anti-god, ultimately I don't care whether they all get eaten or not, or which route the party goes down or even if they find a different route entirely. What matters is that they, the people of Exandria, and the people watching this show all need to grapple with this together and come to a better understanding of one another, so that they can then work to topple any factions which seek to impose a singular world order on everyone else.

Again idk if any of that makes sense, but that's my take on it at least. And that's not at all to discount anyone's personal feelings about the plot or how it's going either! Good fiction makes us wrestle with things in a space that's safe to do so, and we're all wrestling with this together. Just hopefully this will give a slightly different perspective that maybe some people haven't thought of yet.

[someoneinjersey]

fuck thank christ the devils won, they needed that.

my mood is insane even though my period ended this morning. these moods i get are ALARMING. idk what to do about them. the only thing i have stuck with when it comes to what the doctor advised me to do is drink coffee with zero sugar creamer. i've eaten like shit ever since we were in fayetteville. makes me feel like garbage. ugh.

took the dip manicure off that we got in fayetteville because it lasted barely more than a week before it started chipping off at the base of the nail, like wtf. they didn't do a good job anyway, like there was no apex to the nail shape and my nails were all round and fat instead of like ... nail shaped. such a bummer.

we had a bff date yesterday, went into asheville so kate could do something quick at work and then we went to the mall to see if my old coworker was there (she was i love her) and just to walk around. ended up buying two self help books in the giant barnes and noble, oops. i have no money and yet i spend. dumb fuck. then we got olive garden for dinner and i haven't had it in YEARS but it was delicious. then we went and walked around target and we grabbed just a few things we needed or sort of needed. i'm on the hunt for edible chew toys for deano that actually last because he mows through them so fast and he needs something to distract him from licking his paws and from the cats. i feel bad like he's mentally suffering because we moved in with a cat, took in another cat, and then got a kitten. so i'm going to try that. i'm starting to think what i assumed was allergy licking is anxiety or doggy depression or something.

i'm still kind of bummed out nobody seems to miss me on social media but i'm a grown ass woman so i shouldn't feel like my friends need to miss me. meh.

[eldritchsurveys]

1206.

Have you ever driven an electric car?: >> I have not.

Do you live in an area that is prone to tornadoes?: >> I do not. How many closets does your house have?: >> Three.

When was the last time you saw someone you went to high school with?: .

Have you ever eaten moussaka?: >> I have not. Yet!

What breed was the last dog you saw?: . How long have your parents been together (or how long were they together, if they no longer are): .

What has been your most epic cooking failure?: >> I haven't had any epic failures. Just minor ones.

Do you read other people's survey answers on here?: >> Sometimes. Not everyone's; just like anyone else, I don't find everyone interesting enough to want to read about their lives on a regular basis. What's your bedtime routine?: >> Brush teeth, shower if it's a shower day, moisturise, get into bed clothes, (sometimes) light incense, (sometimes) smoke weed, either listen to some music and play a phone game or read until sleepytime.

Do you agree with the saying 'distance makes the heart grow fonder?': >> I have not found this to be true for me, personally. I am very sensitive to/prone to relationship decay and the less I hear from/see an individual, the less fond I become of them. It's not irreparable, but it IS a thing to be aware of. On the flip side, if I see someone constantly with no breaks for rest and recharge, then I usually get really weary of them just from overstimulation and the constant pressure of their presence. In that case, I do find that a bit of distance and time to myself will reactivate my feelings of interest towards a person. So I guess context matters, as always.

Have you ever been to Mexico?: >> I have not.

Do you have a bad temper?: >> I don't. I think I have a perfectly average temper. When was the last time it stormed where you live?: >> I don't remember. It was supposed to storm yesterday -- got a severe storm watch notification and everything -- and then it was bright and sunny instead. Go figure.

Do you ever fact-check the things you read on the internet?: >> Ever? Sure. I don't do it often though, just because it doesn't matter that much to me. I'm not taking anything I read in passing on, like, tumblr as gospel in the first place and I don't care if it's false because I'm not using it for anything. Now, if I was going to parrot what I'd heard (or reblog a post or something), then I'd definitely want to double-check my facts just to make sure I'm not spreading misinfo. And also just because I don't want to come off as credulous, lol.

How long would it take you to walk to the nearest store?: >> There's a bodega-style store around the corner from me, so about 5 minutes.

What 5 words best describe your mother's personality?: .

Do you know any transgender people?: >> Of course.

What's your dream job?: .

How old were you when you got your first smartphone?: >> Uhh... late twenties, roundabout.

Have you ever had a parrot sit on your shoulder?: >> I have not. In the morning, do you eat breakfast first or brush your teeth first?: >> I don't brush my teeth in the morning.

What's something you had to learn the hard way?: .

What sort of window coverings do you have in your living room?: >> Blinds.

Has anyone in your life ever treated you abusively?: >> Several people have.

What's the weather like right now?: >> Bright, sunny, warm. A little breezy, judging by how much the big bush next to my window is rustling around. How long has it been since your last breakup?: .

Can you concentrate well while listening to music, or do you find it distracting?: >> I really can't, especially if it's music with lyrics or a lot of... idk, changes in sound (I don't know the proper term for that, lol -- for example, a dubstep beat drop, or a crescendo, or like a shift from a chugging doom-y sound to a more melodic section. Progression? Is that a word for it...). I can only do things that are manual -- like household tasks -- or mindless -- like match-3 phone games -- when I'm listening to music.

What's the name of the amusement park closest to your house?: .

Do you like The Rolling Stones?: >> I like Gimme Shelter... that's about it. What was the last single item you spent over $100 on?: >> I don't remember.

What's something you've been struggling with lately?: >> We're food-insecure again! Hooray!!!!

What was the last caffeinated drink you had?: >> I had some black tea recently.

[lilpumkin]

where they like to kiss

tomorrow x together 🌊

fluff

soobin

soobin loves to kiss you on the top of your head, because of the height difference it's the place where he can kiss you the most without making you do a lot

soobin: "you're so short i can't even kiss you properly"

y/n: "mhm, i bet"

you

you love to kiss his button-like nose, you think his nose is so adorable it's probably your favorite thing on his face (aside from his dimples), every time you kiss his nose he scrunches his face making him giggle every time you do it

y/n: "awww you're so adorable"

soobin: *cheeks flushed immediately*

yeonjun

he loves to kiss your knuckles, majority of the time you guys are holding hands anyway so he never hesitates to kiss the back of your hand and play with your fingers

yeonjun: "you're so perfect i hope you know that"

y/n: "only cause you to tell me every day"

you

you love to kiss his lips, his lips are the most perfect thing in the entire world (real shit), the funniest part about kissing his lips is when you kiss him when he's pouty. when he's pouty and you kiss his lips he's tries to act annoyed but fails... always

y/n: "you don't know how much i love your lips, they're so perfect"

yeonjun: "you're so perfect"

beomgyu

you can always find beomgyu with his head in your neck. he absolutely loves kissing your neck. something about your neck has him hooked. i really am not sure how to explain it but gyu probably could 😉

y/n: "stop gyu that tickles"

gyu: "i won't ever stop, it's impossible"

you

you don't really have a specific place you love to kiss gyu but you will always put pepper kisses all over his face. his face is so precious you have to fill it with all of your love

y/n: "you know your face is so kissable"

gyu: "good, i'd like to keep it that way"

taehyun

taehyun loves to kiss your cheeks, every opportunity he gets he either pinches or kisses your cheeks. he claims that they're 'super squishy and adorable'. i think he likes your cheeks more than you (all jokes)

tae: "your chubby cheeks are the best thing ever, you should be the squirrel"

y/n: "me and you both tae"

you

you love kissing his forehead, especially when you guys cuddle together and he would lay on top of you you will never hesitate to kiss his forehead

y/n: "what am i going to do with you"

tae: "idk, hopefully, snuggle me for the rest of eternity"

huening kai

kai loves kissing your shoulders, you can always expect lots of back hugs from with followed by him kissing your shoulder. especially when we wear something that exposes your shoulder he never fails to kiss your shoulder

y/n: "i'm surprised you haven't eaten my shoulder yet"

kai: "i will, you just don't know it yet"

you

you absolutely love and adore kai's moles. you kiss everyone like you mapping out his face. its how you wake up kai in the mornings anyway but kissing his moles always brings you joy

kai: "you missed one"

y/n: "i'm sorry... there"

[hiro-doodlez]

HELP I can't see my therapist for a couple of weeks and am currently having something i like to dub "yet another hiro autism crisis" where i contemplate if my therapist gave me the right diagnoses (she has told me she is not certified to give autism diagnoses, and instead more things like depression) Right now, I am diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety/ Social anxiety (its still up in the air, DPDR, and depression. idk if that matters SO NOW I LIST RANDOM THINGS that could be considered symptoms or not I DUNNO HOW TO DO THISS feel free to ask questions about some of the crap i say here half of it doesn't make sense

First off, I have a general trouble understanding most social situations, and struggle sometimes when talking about practically anything. For example, earlier today my step-mom basically said she wasnt going to finish her food and let my brother have it. my brother said he would leave 2, he didnt (BOZO) and later after he left she found the empty container and said something along the lines "HAH! I thought he said he was gonna leave me 2!" and immdeiately without thinking i went "hey! you said he could have as many as he can! and hes working 10 hours a day and needs his energy!!" half jokingly and she got mad at me for it, we got into a mini argument over that.

When saying something thats serious, i tend to make a joke around it and i have NO CLUE why. I just CANT be openly upset around people. For example, when being told about something that happened to me as a kid that NEVER SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED RAGRHAGHAG, instead of having a breakdown and being reasonably upset, i burst out into giggles and laughs while my brother was just so fucking confused on what was wrong. It was kinda like i couldn't stop and it fucking sucked

The TINIEST things can upset me, and other HUGE things can have little to no effect. Its so incredibly annoying

I have INTENSE fluxuations in interests, hobbies, and motivation for certain projects. I will start on this huge project that im INCREDIBLY excited for, and then a week later have little to no interest in continuing it.

I make everything about my personality a joke, i dont know why. EVERYTHING i tend to say or do has to be funny. it's like i dont want people to see beneath that

I fluctuate in personality A TON, especially depending by the people i am around. At school, I'm the quiet kid. I don't talk to anyone except maybe 5 people, but other than that i tend to stay completely silent. It could be a mask? i dunno. but when im at home, ask my brothers, i am BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS. it might also be me just getting some of my energy out? RRAHHH I DUNNOOO

I will simply forget to do very important things to the point of endangering my health. Like forgetting to eat for a day straight. my step-mom thinks i have an ED AND I DONT. i literally just keep realizing suddenly at like 6 pm all i have eaten is a couple of skittles and pringles.

i have no clue how talking to people works and im constantly winging it. I forget how to have friends especially how to even talk or interact with them and its so stupid. I can't ever start a conversation with someone without having at least 5 minutes going "am i weird for this am i being annoying am i being clingy".

If i say even one thing wrong i WILL be thinking about it for DAYS thinking about how they probably hate me now and im a terrible person ect. ect.

I tend to hide many of my traits (especially good ones) because i am incredibly embarrassed and never want anyone to EVER compare themselves to me.

im a people pleaser does that count

i tend to get extremely upset if i get told one bad thing about something that i like or just a project i have. For example, I had this fandom silly man poll because i just wanted to find out who was silly. Then one of my friends just posted something like "i hate fandom polls theyre the worst" and i just lost complete motivation afterwards. I haven't touched that blog in WEEKS at this point becuase i simply have no more interst

I have had a meltdown or 2 before, and they both stemmed from being told about how i was a bad person. i don't know why the hell thats a thing

I can't stay focused on one thing for long periods of time (ADHD cough cough) Like literally earlier i was watching this video about autistic traits and i kept having to back the video up because i would get sidetracked in my mind to the point where im just not listening anymore

if im not paying attention to people sometimes I SWEAR theyre saying "ffajaleifnanamzmaldafjkjeffnma" and as soon as i start noticing it suddenly theres words again. hate that.

i have times where it can kinda seem like i cant speak, and if i do everything comes out wrong and jumbled. Like when my autistic friend would have a sensory related meltdown, i would never know what to do and end up going dead silent because of being so mad at myself for not knowing how to help (any tips actually hahahahaHOW DO I HELP)

i have little idea who the hell i am. had a mini-crisis because i didn't know what my favorite color was because before, it was the color my friend with synesthesia said i was and i just went with that (i think its purple or blue i have no fucking clue JFALJK)

i will have spikes of random motivation on one thing. like learning lanugauges, i will have a week where its so easy to get like 10 lessons on duolingo done a day and then the next week its a struggle to get even one done.

i focus better with distractions ??? I can't focus without music and tend to do better on reading tests if everyone else in the class is talking ???

i remember the most random things about certain things. Like, i could not for the LIFE of me remember what color that one persons hair that i was talking to for 15 minutes straight. but i can remember that they had pink socks on. WHY IS THAT WHAT I REMEMBER??

I hate organization and doing the same thing every day. i NEED chaos. My brother a little bit ago helped me out and got me to make a personal to-do list. i couldnt do it a single day even though the things were extremely simple like "brush hair, make bed, eat breakfast ect."

i zone out a LOT. especially when people bring up topics im uncomfortable with or conflict with my current feelings. i go into a kinda little talking (not nonverbal, i can still talk) or just confused state that freaking sucks.

when im in a high energy mood i tend to not feel.. reall???? I do many things overboard and annoy the heck out of my brothers. i always feel terrible afterwards.

Idk if this is weird to say but i tend to get really off put when people im comfy with get haircuts or major changes in their appearance. I never like the change no matter what the hair cut looks like. i dont have any clue why

i have no clue whether or not any of this is real or if I have managed to make it all up in my head. (bascially when i was younger i wanted attention and ended up faking depression for a year straight and was an absolute ass to my friends and blah blah blah)