#idk it's like im constantly abt to cry

[yukinyaminyato]

day no. ? of immense anxiety: start

[bunnihearted]

💭🌸

[sparrowposting]

I have too many emotions in too quick a succession with periods of severe emptiness in between I just. I don't have time to PROCESS any of them. It's like I've been incurring an emotional 'debt' for 27 years.

[skitskatdacat63]

Every boy king painting is just like: hey guys fo you wanna see the same idea rehashed over and over again?

[girlwithfish]

if i dont look cute tomorrow i will kill myself

[skunkg1rll]

.

[polaraffect]

[piplupod]

.

[emypony]

.

[pepprs]

i like uh. literally cannot believe what is happening is still happening btw.pain and suffering (update omg i hit tag limit CRINGE but i think i was done anyway lol)

[cinnabeat]

elliots death will always be upsetting to me but it will never match the actual sobbing i did when break died

[whoviandoodler]

need to draw a comic abt the phenomenon of 'i care abt this person so so much even tho i know little about them and now have to behave normally around them because they do not feel the same way oh god they don't feel the same way please don't let them find out that they live rent free in my head there is no way to explain how i feel without sounding creepy and weird and my feelings being sorely misunderstood and so i have to pretend i care only a little (a normal amount) and slowly but surely cut them out of my life because i cannot bear the thought of them seeing me as a burden and i cannot bear the truth that i will never have the kind of relationship that i want with them'

[lovecrazedpup]

.

[mad-c1oud]

MAD. I have so many things i love abt your fics. in no order:

The panick from elotes when he sees charlie die from dehydration and he decides ‘fuck emotional maturity’ !!!!! OH GOD ITS SO GOOD

I think CONSTANTLY about when charlie was like ‘you dont have to call me slime, it isnt, like, reserved’ and they talk and etoiles goes ‘oh and you can say my name right’ and slime goes WHAT. Oh god i think abt it like daily and have a giggle

In fake it till you make it when charlie is calling etoiles all the nicknames and antoine just pretends like nothing is happening ❤️❤️

on the topic of fitymi, THE KISS GLASS FACTORY SCENE. RENT FUCKING FREE. The way you wrote it and then THE COPS KNOWING LMAOOO IT DIDNT WORK. Roier chanting “mi dinero!” Bc he won the bet is CHEF KISS

when etoiles casually kisses charlie and leaves, phil’s reaction when he realizes is GOLD KKKKK. “Is that why charlie has been blowing up my phone?” And etoiles going “i kissed and now i am telling” AGH

The intro (?) scene to immi where etoiles is just like ‘its okay its okay its okay he doesnt need items, hes really doing just fine–’ so he doesn’t rip charlies armor off where hes standing is HILARIOUS

“He is here. He is ravenous” then charlie dying to eater of suns was my favorite bc ITS SO IN CHARWCTER LMAO. HE WOULD.

How etoiles breaks a million avocados as baghera pulls out all the arrows from charlie. You can //feel// the need to protect coursing through his veins and poor bro has to make dinner

How youve written TWO scenes where etoiles brain fails upon imagining charlie in eyeliner. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE (i am too)

Not a apecific scene, but the (in immi) motif of charlie not feeling like enough so he always has to bring //something//.

GOD THE ENTIRE MOST RECENT CHAPTER OF IMMI. STAN FERAL HYBRID. STAN THEIR ONE SAFE PERSON. HAHAIXHSNAJAJJSUXIXIWWNKEODOEPQPEI

The immi scene where etoiles tells charlie about the bug :(

God how //unserious// charlie is about being hurt (and probably etoiles but they have different ways of unserious). Its so true to his character but i still wanna just SHAKE HIM so he doesn’t crack jokes //while he’s bleeding out//

The scene where etoiles rushes charlie back. It feels so rushed but not like you wanted to get it over with, just… like everything is a blur to etoiles while hes doing this. Like he remembers the steps he took but not what he felt when he took them. (Also how he gives himself five seconds to scream into a pillow. Felt that. STAN.)

Him asking for two cookies from phil bc he is ‘fading fast’ and when phil shows up he pretty much (albiet accidently) tunes oht phil bc he //cant look away from charlie–//

That stupid fucking cod elotes put in the barh idk if it has a name but I have a love/hate relation with it. I wonder if they kept it.

“Its not a waste with you” KILL ME THEYRE IN LOVE

When etoiles tells him to say if he feels hurt, then charlie starts crying and e is like “eh! Im so sorry what did i do you didnt say anything–” and charlies like eueuue youre so nice

Charlie purring… yes… YESSS…. (Love it when anything and everything hybrid purrs 💖)

“My cucumber” ….

When charlie pretends to be etoiles boyfriend to get into the hospital (fitymi) and the nurses are like uh this guy named charlie- and elotes goes “hehehehhhh yeahh charlie. He’s my bro” and the nurses take that as dating (BECAUSE WHAT ELSE IS IT????)

sorry tjis was so long i just had a chance to rant abt your writing and BY GODS NAME DID I TAKE IT

💖i hope you fee better

DUDE 😭😭😭

This is the best thing I’ve ever read. People always comment on chapters and fics in that moment they read them usually, so I’m always curious what sticks with people weeks later, what occupies their brain again and again long after reading…

Reading all this had me smiling so fucking big it Hurts oh my good you are so sweet dude

To answer your question: Charlie kept the cod Paul! It lives in the little pond he has in the greenhouse. It was supposed to be mentioned during the birthday chapters, but I reworked a lot of content and it not longer fit nicely so I just took it out for now. The feesh will be seen again…

The nicknames in fake it were my favorite part. I got like three sentences in and was like— hold on Idea—

And yeah Charlie giving things to Étoiles in immi, that comes a personal habit. Qcharlie has been broken down time and time again that this amount of unwavering kindness feels illegal to accept. He’s had to pay the price for so much, so sure this too right? Étoiles wants to shake him <3

YEHAHHH THE NAME THING IN IMMI!!! Man I needed a way to ween Étoiles into calling him Charlie that was just causal cause that’s Boring, and I wanted to acknowledge the face that irl, ccChatlie didn’t know how to pronounce his name at first either lmao

i like Charlie in eyeliner, sue me….

One of my favorite chapters might just be A Bandage. From the other islanders to the cooking to karaokeduo to the Chittering!!!!! Idk that one holds a special place in my heart <3

Also fun fact: I had like, 4 other fake dating scenarios I jotted down for fake it but I was worried the fic would turn into immi which also started as a 5+1 so I scrapped some ideas and kept a it short and sweet. kinda regret it and wish I could rewrite it but I still like what it turned in to

Man reading my own work through your comments is really nice. Gives me a better appreciation for what I’m creating haha

Thank you sm for all this, it means a lot and it’s never too long trust me <333

[crushedsweets]

back w more of my song analysis bs cause im studying music performance and it’s all I think about 😍 sorry this is so long. i have so many Thoughts

the chain by fleetwood mac is such a brian song. no big beat drop, just constant driving bass - shows determination, relentlessness. specifically the line “if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again” which i take to mean “after i do what im about to do i will become unlovable, so you if you don’t love me now then you will never be able to because i’ll be such an irredeemable person”

geyser by mitski is a really good song to describe nina’s relationship with Jeff. the way that the song starts off so slow, so quiet and thin, but then swells to a grand and full sound like how nina’s obsession started off so small but then grew to control her entire life. love the line “and hear the harmony only when it’s harming me”

a pearl by mitski and LJ (another mitski song cause she’s my fav artist ever) about his abandonment mmm. plus the slightly sinister sounding chords showing his evilification(?? yk what i mean. when he turned emo) ugh “you’re growing tired of me” and “i fell in love with a war and nobody told me it ended” so him

tongues and teeth by the cranes wives and EJ. this is SO his song. ALL of the lyrics r so incredibly him,, “my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear” plus the slightly manic instrumental, highlighting the panic he feels at potentially harming people he loves HLGKFJJDS.

also, for ur consideration, miss nothing by the pretty reckless x nat.

- anon 🌙

anon im kicking my feet. AGGHHGHG. ohh my god. yhou are using musical word that i do not comprehendn in the same way you may but wow do i love the way you describe it. very poetic i think. ill talk abt these.. and then mention a liil extra smth abt toby i thought when driving yesterday

the chain is yes very brian.... ugh... yeyah. yeah. 'after i do what im about to do' is so real. like being so very aware and conscious of your awful decisions and still going through with them. quite brian-like even under the whole complexities with hoody persona etc etc....

AND YEAH GEYSER TOO . the start of the song feels very like... idk if scary is right but its just very deep and could be quite unsettling.... nina longs for love. "i've turned down every hand thats beckoned for me to come" very pretty, fun, easy-going girl that could have plenty of suitors and yet she's still crawling towards this fucking beast of a man who is nothing good for her. "i will be the one you need" constantly warping herself for this man that wouldn't do shit for her, and she doesn't mind because she loves him in every single which way he is, and she loves how awful it is . and FUCKKKKK SHE NEEDS TO GET BETTER SHE NEEDS TO GET AWAY. she gets away dont worry. she gets over him. lots of crying and sobbing and screaming but she gets over it. its very hard to get over something awful when you crave awful

im not a huge lj fan (SCARED OF CLOWNS IM SORRY GUYS IK I KEEP HARPING ON ABOUT IT) but i loooove a pearl. "i fell in love with a war / nobody told me it ended" wow. ok. yeah. wow. jesus. rolling the pearl around looking for anything and everything that could soothe the ache of literal fucking abandonment while all you can do is wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and then its all too much and damn . :( damn ok.

IVE GORWN A MOUTH SO SHARP AND CRUEL IS LITERALLY SO PERFFECTLY EJ. FUCK. "I am not a vessel for your good intents" oh but he is sure a vessel for something demonic .... "abonded all your stupid dreams / about the girl i couldve been" HE HAD SOOO MANY FUCKING DREAAAMSSSS he wants to be a doctor he wanted to save lives he wanted a family he wanted a dog he wanted to see his little siblings grow up he wanted to take care of his elderly parents. and now all he can do is sit and be miserable because he is a monster and there is only so much he can do about it. damn. wow.

also yeah to the nat thing wow.

wow. yeah. goddamn.

AND ALSOOOOO OK LAST NIGHT I WAS DRIVING AND THIS SONG CAME ON

shit show by peter mcpoland i just keep thinking about toby. tbh ill find a way to twist any song into toby cuz i like him but yea. this is leaning more into the found family thing after losing his own and just seeing the way different people reflect his past and its gut wrenching but you know how he is. just a guy of sorts. he spends a lot of his time angry and wanting to isolate and self destruct and ruin everything around him . but he also spends a lot of his time desperate for normalcy, for respect, to be seen as a human fucking being and ah fugugh. im just imagining brian pulling him out to meet the owner of the farm near slenders forest and making him stand straight and telling the farmer 'he's a good kid, hard worker, strong. keep him around" (the hardworking strong part is true, at least) and toby's about to die cuz he's so stressed (this is shortly after all the fucking murder) but brian lightly slaps him on the back and he stands up straight and the farmer just shakes his hand and says smth nice abt 'got a good grip there' and and and guyyyyssss..... and holidays..are so hard for hhim.. and "i swear i'd see your faces staring up at me" ohh my goddd.... "I don't wanna drink alone today" man................... guys...... man......

[animator-vs-animation]

dunno whos there but im thinking about Aricole & Emicole too much. specifically Aricole THEN Emicole. cuz framing it like that makes the way Emily treated Nicole feel a lot more...paralleled??? and. not justified on Emily's end but its like. what Nicole did to Ari is what Emily did to Nicole except not really except also yeah kinda

so wanna like. just rotate the blorbos in mind and talk abt them. not just abt Aricole and Emicole i just am fixating on that specifically rn :3

(also when i say im fixating on Aricole and Emicole I basically mean im fixating on the routes where u get close w them. cuz the routes are kind of cooler than the base dynamics)

HELL YEAH ABSOLUTELY

ive been drawing emicole (hence y i sent the ask abt emicole vs jeckole). but dude that slaps so hard. i can imagine ari just feeling like no sympathy for nicole at all and even nicole herself going "i mean like yeah, fair, i was kind of an asshole, but emily was downright fucking insane."

also emily lives au where theyre both just stuck in the psych ward together because the teachers interpreted their presentation as an actual cry for help. nicoles mom feels a bit bad, but mostly because shes convinced nicole has finally gone off the deep end of something. she doesnt feel bad for nicole she just blames emily. emilys mom comes by once near the start of their psych ward stay but then both emily and nicole yet at her and she leaves in an affronted manner

idk . imagine through some weird circumstance ari also ends up in the same psych ward. so now it's triple awkward. ari and emily keep getting into fights because ari constantly insults nicole, and nicole has to be the rational one for once (which makes ari angrier because where was this energy when they were dating?)