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#im always like no whatever doesnt matter just forget abt it
bunnihearted · 5 months
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💭🌸
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29121996 · 4 months
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#sometimes i forget that . i am not immume to my.good things corrupting me#this is embarrassing sctuslly ..getting fuckign Anxious over a venus kazimi like.#dawg calm down oh my.god . ur gonna be fine. everything.sill be fine lol#for the greater good (my mental health)#but my god ppl om the internet know how to word things that do infact trigger me#n i can never tellcif i am being sensitive or not n i so infact .#it doesnt matter n yet . im crippling in fear over this shit ONCE again. for the rexord#i have bren doing my best toclike stay off the internet . it was doing my head in#but . anyeay whatever. its fjne im having a bad day apparently#n im staying home for wtv reason like . i wanna go out but im just .#i wanna try n save this money n get my cwllo fixed .#its the one thinf on my list im desperate tovget done#bc everything else will fsll into place after that . bc ill have something else i dnjoy to do w my time#n atm i want nothing more thsn tovjust practice . fuck the sheet music in tbe othet stuff i gotta organise#im . yea sorry .#WAITT my sister got a ptinter . i can print the sheet music i have ready to go.#besides im sure if i look hard enough i can find . my folder w my ensemblr worm#i have thought abt conquistador daily btw . she was so fun tocplay ah :(#n going out also means . Not e tirely sure if ill b awake before 1pm . bc this placr closes at like 2.#so . i do have to go to bed realtively early if i wanna do this . n i do. im biting thr bullet#im impuslivd but not when itll benefit me. go figure. anyway. i have just enough. ill be Fine .#worst case . my dad has these awful tailors i can chop up#and he can also buy my grocrties this week 👩‍🦯#worst case . i fkgure itnout somehow. i always do but . i gotta bite the bulley on this i cannot do this anymore#i need something else to occupy my time. n this is the one thinf i knoe for sure will be worth the investment#bc if not. i can literally just Sell it for like $300 (if its worth rven That lol)#like shes a good cello but damn shes dinged up and xhipped. im not paying for that to b fixed#it adds character.
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stupidrant · 1 year
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RANT INCOMING!
I have to talk abt this as this has been in my mind for months and this i think is the only safe space to talk abt the fandom and their weird antics towards the characters/actors and overall games.Im not against criticism but theres a line between criticizing and going overboard with hating.
One thing i dont understand abt the god of war fandom is that they complain about alot of things not being “accurate” and thats doesnt make sense to me bc when has gow ever been accurate? I thought it was obvious from the beginning that SMS wasnt going for that and never truly will. Its always their own interpretation. They also have this weird hatred / ignorance towards atreus that i also dont understand? Yea he was a little annoying in the first game but thats understandable as hes… a kid. Ragnarok expanded his character pretty well imo and i feel like alot of these people for some reason cannot get past him in general? Maybe because they are afraid of him taking over the series and “forgetting” kratos (idk why thats in their minds LOL) or they just hate him just because. I feel like the fandom wants kratos to forever be this god who destroys things and whatnot and its all so weird. like they never gave him a chance. thankfully he has fans but majority hates him. Dont even get me started on how they treat angrboda. Its really so ridiculous to me that they can be so hateful for no true reason. they call her a bitch for yelling at atreus when all the women in the game get annoyed or disappointed in him atleast once. And they dont understand that she has only known this prophecy shit for her whole life and she couldnt do anything outside bc of the threat. ofc shes angry bro LOLL its also in her name like i dont understand 😭.  Atreus helps her get out of that mindset and assures her she can do whatever she wants now. Laya is so strong idk how she does it :( I also noticed they treat thrud as this “replacement” of angrboda bc they dont like her either cuz shes black or bc they hate her and everything related to atreus but as long as he has a character they can like thats not angrboda its fine. Its all so weird bc theres no competition between the two. There never was. I dont think they actually like thrud for her character they just want to be weirdos and i feel kinda bad for her and mina bc they really dont give a fuck. Im so shocked chris sunny and others even INTERACT with this bullshit of a fandom they are all really strong bc id say fuck all of you and go 😭 im not against criticism at all and i try not to take this shit seriously but its hard when you see a insane group of people take alot of this shit to the next level. this fandom is a bunch of whiny babies who hold onto their precious destroyer too much. The hate everyone has gotten recently is just so stupid and they often times try to make it their goal to hate. I see that SMS is trying to diverge their fandom to a broader audience and they are taking a bit more risks esp with atreus and i love that despite the backlash against him, they continued with his character regardless. I hope they do the same thing with the other characters as well and expand them no matter how much these people want to hate and act all high and mighty. I can understand certain critiques like the ending being too fast or maybe they couldve done blah blah better and whatnot but i think alot of people are overreacting and being ridiculously nitpicky with alot of things when it comes to ragnarok. 
Last thing and also kinda random thing SMS is very wrong for what they did to TC Carson and i acknowledge that completely and i hope they never do smth like that to any of the current cast either bc i would be fucking pissed if so LOL
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ask6mukuro9 · 2 years
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its cute that fuuta still calls dino nii-san...
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who does torikabutos nails. fierce. go off queen.
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what uhm. what kind of juice do you think they keep these guys in. if it were me id like apple juice
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for mukuro they kept him in pickle brine. he was being pickled
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thjis is so funny. i want them to start spitting and hissing at each other like cats
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at the time i was too embarrassed about completely forgetting basil, but now. what the fuck is he doing here. who made the decision that past basil needed to be here and now just grown up basil. is he dead. 
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cuties...
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fightingallycats.mp4
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JHFEJHDSXUDXCVJUKDXCVJU THIS SI SOOOO STUPID !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
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even tsuna, who swears up and down that gokudera is his friend and his subordinate, being surprised. ... interesting
i got rly excited abt the varia coming back.. but then i remembered squalo got obliterated in the vongola base.. whatever.. i didnt want to see him again. it doesnt matter.......
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lussuria being the only one to ask about squalo.. luss being close enough with squalo that he can take over being the captain.. breasties
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phrasing
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THIS IS STRAIGHT UP EVIL..... HES FIVE
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GET ON THE HYDRAS BACK! GET ON THE HYDRAS BACK!
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......
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I DREW THIS LIKE A WEEK AGO SDEIKHDGHG always stay committed to the bit
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IM SO OBSESSED WITHT THE WAY FRAN BOUNCES OFF OF MUKURO
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oh?
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chrome engaging in very lesbian behaviors 
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i................. i.. did he juszt snap tsunas neck..... my jaw has actually dropped in shock... wh.......
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WH.... HOLD ON. WAIT. STOP. HOLD ON. HOLD ON. I NEED A SECOND. HOLD ON... DID TSUNA JUST RECOVER FROM A SNAPPED NECK????? BECAUSE REBORN SAID HE NEEDED TO????????????
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come back from this one idiot
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boo they brought him back too early. the blood was still pumping
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.. this is a little much. i need you to tone it down a bit.
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ok... they look dope.. and?
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... extremely weirdchamp..........................
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YEAH!!!!!!!!! GET HIS ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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.......................................
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.......................................................................................... how nice *irritated*
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37q · 2 years
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eating disorder tw but its not the main focus rly i dont think hm wait ok maybe.. mostly gender talk actually
anyways personalizing "it's incredible what women will come up with if left to their own devices" for a sec: ive had trouble articulating this recent phenomenon in my life but lately ive been working on the values i hold "capability" to and the ways that i allow those values to make decisions for me instead of just living life with whimsy.
still caught up in optics as ive always been maybe as a disease of childhood transness but far better than i used to be and yet! im always weighing how material, physical empowerment will be gendered! i saw a quote a while back from like this one transfems lil memoirs and a conversation she had w a friend abt their eating disorder i think? and the friend was like yeah i mean transition and life as a woman has been excruciating enough already but whats another pain if itll help me pass? or whatever. im so scared of gaining any mass anywhere above my waist!!! i wanna throw up thinking about it!!!! oh my god ive never said that before i feel so sick!!!!!
anyways i struggle w NOT presenting weakness or frailty when im fearful of a gendering Eye of Patriarchy or fuckin. male panopticon inside my head but thats the thing! 🥰 ive been divorcing from that panoptic on my head lately! its still there lowkey but my drive to make my life better has been overcoming that adolescent "avoid male interests at all costs" fear :)
so now im like fascinated by like engineering again im thinking of ways to produce more effective hand rests on the bottom of my steering wheel (maybe i wont even have to remove the plastic on the wheel if im good enough at making sockets? for the rests if i make them attachable via clip :3c) and ive been making moves to get into woodworking and throwing together rudimentary furniture which is just so different than what id previously felt abt it. ive been fixing things so often lately like OBSESSED with getting tools for problems i understand 40 year old dads now. that thought is what kills me n saves me tho interestingly enough
what had previously been like a grand gendering process of establishing my princess status (its still there tho) had actually just been reinforcing the unhealthy habits i used to get there in the sense of physical and emotional weakness -- going largely untreated for like 3 or 4 disorders which either obliterate my prefrontal cortex, the integrity and efficacy of my synaptic response in neurotransmission, or my reception of the macro resources necessary to maintain basic body function to name a few... but like theres something to be said for how explicitly gendered it is to be starved-stupid crazy weak and feminine as fuck. not assigning values to those terms (anymore) i was just like leaning into being insanely unwell and calling it a gender role. which tbf is like the predominant myth ALSHSLFHDKD...
... but also im working on stepping away from internalizing a relationship w the myth of gender and using that reaction as my behavioral starting point! (affirmation and argument time) im not a man, i wont even trip and fall into manhood no matter what endeavors i pursue! no matter how much goes on in others ppls heads! there is no way to look at or engage with the world in an explicitly man way because life doesnt actually function on categorical dualities, not to mention bimodal distributions! and thats lesbianism (and therapy) at work! like no presumption of a male occupation of an Entire Sector Of Life And Economy and working on that latent projection of gendered insecurities (and thus production of gendered karma in my materialization of such a projection via action or inaction) onto a life thats literally Just Life Dude. i literally make it. the future doesnt exist yet and the only value it has it the karma we bring to it and take from it!
huge mood change ugh solemn now im forgetting the śūnyatā of the self, the śūnyatā of its form, the śūnyatā of the conception of form itself... of course its only determined internally via extant thought forms and reproduced via tangible, material projection... thats literally the whole racket! of course im suffering with it!!!!!!!!
sooooo yeah im working on recognizing impermanence and encouraging WWP (wonder whim play) just as long as i dont root it in a sense of stability or security! currently that security comes from my sense of any (patriarchal obvi) gendering processes at work in any social situation at hand so i could work on 1. shallowly, my proximity to men or 2. conventionally, my personal processes of projection and reaction to a psychological proximity to men or 3. ultimately, my necessity to ground my "sense of self" in an illusory, impermanent, and universally imprisoning process extant to saṃsāra such as the social mechanisms of gender. i dont even have to fight to have a name for what my wife n i got goin on not because its too complex or too hard but literally i dont care. my words are as empty as yours
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mariesocuniverse · 4 years
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Relationships: NCT 127
Maeil (aka Daily)
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there are two meanings to their ship name
first is, of course, their names mashed together but the second meanings is much cuter and the one fans use to explain their dynamic
When Mae found out their ship name was Maeil her first reaction was “Oh? Is it because I make sure to let Taeil hyung I love him daily?” while cuddling Taeil on a couch
he’s the same age as Mae’s older brother so she treats him as such
her brother is literally like “Are you replacing me with Taeil? I’m your reall brother!” and she’s just there sweating
part of Taeil’s hype squad and will fight donghyuck for the position of president
like the two were on vlive and spent a good fifteen minutes arguing about their positions in the club Mae won but donghyuck refuses to acknowledge it
he could be doing something simple and you can see Mae in the background with a big smile cheering
he’s also like her personal teddy bear whenever she wants cuddles and/or wants to rest
there are just multiple gifs floating around nct twt of Mae tackling Taeil for a hug or her just clinging to him on a couch because she’s either tired and wants to rest or just wants cuddles
absolutely adores his voice
there are multiple compilations on youtube about all the times Mae compliments Taeil on his voice and him just blushing the whole time
Maenny
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was lowkey intimidated bc the man is a fucking tree and basically towers over her
but then he saw him play around with some other trainees and that thought disappeared real quick
he’s more like the protective older brother than like a parent like Doyoung or Taeyong
can and has used his height to his advantage when it comes to scaring people who hurt Mae or do something to make her sad
he was one of the first people who found out about her old company and he looked like he was about to storm their building probably would’ve if it weren’t for Mae
one of the first people she became friends with because he always answered questions she had when she was a trainees
before debut there were times people could see Johnny walk somewhere and Mae is just trailing after him like a lost puppy more like running because the man’s legs are long and he walks faster
there was this one time someone asked where Mae was and Johnny just shuffled to the side to reveal her behind him
his large frame was just big enough to hide her from everyone’s vision unless you walk past the two
you know that one vid of predebut nct performing Under The Sea with Johnny wearing the fish head? Mae was supposed to join him dressed as Ariel but the idea was cut last minute
there was this one time Mae couldn’t see something bc she was too short so Johnny lifted her up and put her on his shoulders
okay enough about Mae’s height
during shows he’s always encouraging Mae to talk more when she seems unsure whether to give her input or not
johnny, after an interviewer asks a question: “what do you think Mae?”
absolutely melts whenever she does aegyo because no matter how old she is he’ll always see her as the cute kid who followed him everywhere
MaeTae
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honestly it’s hard to pinpoint where Taeyong’s protective parental energy started getting directed to Mae
like it might’ve been somewhere predebut but she doesnt know when
she’s like 50% sure she just blanked out and suddenly Taeyong appeared in her life scolding her for not taking care of herself
it’s not like she’s complaining abt it she’s really grateful to have someone like him in her life
when her family got worried abt her joining a group filled with guys he personally went to her house and calmly explained how Mae will be taken care of and how the group will make sure that she’ll be safe
first person to know if there’s something between SM and Mae that the other members don’t know about
he was also the first member to know about what happened with Mae and her old company
she knows she can trust him with anything
he found her alone crying in one of the practice rooms and she just poured her heart out to him
Whenever they go places as a large group he looks for Mae first before counting the other members
she got lost once and now he doesnt want her out of his sight for more than five minutes
she got him a “world’s greatest dad” trophy as a joke that he has on a shelf in his room
YuMae
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you know how yuta acts with mark and winwin? yeah he does the same for Mae
if he isnt giving a hug to mark he’s all the way across the room with Mae giving her a back hug
Mae: does nothing
Yuta: aigoo look how cute she is :)
she doesnt ignore him tho she just returns the affection
likes to jump on his back for a piggy back ride or just run and jump to give him a hug
there was this one clip that went viral of Yuta talking to someone and he just pauses for a moment before turning around to catch Mae, who seemingly came out of nowhere, into a hug and turned back to his conversation
neither yuta nor the other person seemed fazed so this seemed like a regular occurrence to them
he teaches her japanese!
its beneficial to both of them because Mae can learn and Yuta won’t forget any Japanese while living in Korea :D
really really really loves his smile
like real whipped (A/N i wrote this while watching the under the sea performance and now im going through it)
like she sees him smile and that makes her smile and that makes fans smile
Can and has glared at “fans” and other people who make her uncomfortable whether it be at the airport or during their schedules
There was this one time Mae was walking ahead of him when there were fansites following them and he just pulled her back into his arms because he noticed an anti of hers was nearby
It’s like a lion trying to protect a kitten
2Young
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again did not know how Doyoung because like a parent to Mae but she just ended up rolling with it
She just has this aura to her that makes you want to care of her and give her love
whenever they go eat together with the group he always put food on her plate, regardless of whether the managers glare at him or not he glares back anyway so they back off
“doyoung she’s been put on a diet-” “she’s going to eat whether you like it or not”
one time Mae got sick with a fever and he just burst into her room with medicine and soup
if taeyong has the “world’s greatest dad” trophy doyoung has the “world’s greatest mom” trophy that he says he’ll throw it away but has it perched on his desk
Mae’s also one of the members who like to clown him
she’s the one of the reasons he already has gray hairs
Mae has a folder of embarrassing photos of Doyoung’s childhood that his brother sent to her and refuses to delete it
she cant do anything about them tho bc Doyoung got his own folder of babie Mae pics courtesy of Mae’s older brother
Haechan has tried and failed to gain access to either of those folders
MaeHyun
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major sibling energy
but not like the bickering kind of energy but more like very soft and uwu
there are a lot of people asking them “are you sure you’re not related?” during interviews and fansigns
Fans are just waiting for the two to do a duet bc come on SM you have a real life Disney prince and princess here
Let Mae be the Jasmine to Jaehyun’s Aladdin and perform A Whole New World together
She likes to poke his dimple
There’s this one vid where Jaehyun and Mae are sitting together and she just pokes his dimple and Jaehyun’s smile gets bigger
joked about if he could let her meet yugyeom and bambam bc of 97line and he just went no <3
when jaehyun was inkigayo’s mc nobody could approach her with the infamous inkigayo sandwich bc she was always with him not like anyone could try considering mae has several bodyguards wherever she goes
you know how jaehyun won the alpaca plushie in nct life? he gave it to mae bc he know how much she loved plushies
Honestly the majority of the plushies in her room were given to her by jaehyun
She has a bear named after him uwu
MaeWoo
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Loves the energy he gives and thinks he’s so funny
He never fails to make her laugh whenever she needs cheering up
they used to be shy around each other when he first joined the group but they caught each other having a midnight snack so they just talked at 3am eating ramen until doyoung found them and told them to go to bed
now it’s just tradition for them to go to a convenience store together and eat ramen or whatever snacks they decide to get
nobody is allowed to join them its only a MaeWoo thing  
Mae has natural aegyo but Jungwoo has taught her to use it to her advantage which she does but not often
Another one of Mae’s cuddle buddies
She just thinks he looks so soft so she just clings to him whenever he’s nearby
Major uwu energy over here when it comes to the two of them together
idk why but i dont see him as the type to be protective when it comes to her dating
he’s more like
“you dont have a boyfriend yet? damn people dont know what they’re missing”
or on the other side of the spectrum
“good luck to your future boyfriend he’ll need it if he’s gonna date you”
2Ma/MaeKyung
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Older brother that doesn’t feel like an older brother
Majority of the time he kinda just feels like they’re the same age or younger so newer fans get shocked when they find out she’s younger
Like there was this one time Johnny the two were playing Smash Bros and Mark was whining because he lost and Mae was jumping in the background cheering it was his fourth loss in a row but he won’t say it
they were kinda awkward around each other at first so johnny literally had to stick them in a room together and didn’t let them leave until they talked to each other
it worked and they just vibed and rambled about different topics like trainee life and what mark’s life in Vancouver was like
speaking of Vancouver
one time during their stay in Vancouver they wanted to have a friend date but he lost her at a mall and took twenty minutes trying to find her until she used the announcement service to call him
he wouldve ask his Vancouver friends to go with them but some of them had a crush on mae so no <3
When she first starting writing songs and her own lyrics she went to Mark first and asked if the lyrics she wrote were good
They were amazing and Mark made sure to tell her that :D
mae’s reaction to his dream graduation was one of the saddest things czennies have seen so when she found out he was coming back she would not let go of him
Literally could not stop smiling whenever mark was with the rest of dream filming for Resonance
It’s just very wholesome and czennies are willing to riot if SM decides to separate them
Maechan
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You know how I said Maehyun was the soft and uwu type of siblings? Well Maechan are the bickering type of siblings
You know the ones who like to bicker over minor things but still would protect each other for life
they have so much dirt on each other on trainee days lmao
Haechan to Mae: lmao what a loser
Haechan when someone insults Mae: listen here you little shit
The only person allowed to clown her is him and the rest of NCT
he heard a trainee talk shit about her once and they still can’t look haechan in the eye
he’s only a few months older than her but he uses the “i’m older!” card whenever he can
“i’m older therefore i get to go first” “excuse me sir but you’re only three months older than me” “but im still older”
they fight for the title of the favorite 127 maknae but they both know that can do what they want
Mae is more lenient towards the hyungs during yaja time than haechan is tho so she just vibes whenever they go to scold him when the games over
they do team up a lot so they’re a menace when they do something together
especially in games
their competitive nature plus their brain power together? its over it even started
50% of the time they have to be separated from each other when it comes to choosing teams
the other 50% is someone choosing both of them because they want that easy win
Those two are willing to risk it all even for a bag of chips
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toxicsamruby · 4 years
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what are your thoughts on sam as a man of color?
OKAY so i do sort of go into this in my fic but im not gonna make u sift thru it for my opinions cuz i like to hear myself talk :) also disclaimer im gonna be exclusively talking abt the early seasons cuz i dont know or understand whats going on post s4. also also disclaimer all the posts im making abt this r about john as a white man and maryam as an arab woman . OK lets get into it
so one of the big differences btwn sam and dean is a question of assimilation. and dont get me wrong both of them do it in different ways but the first information we get about sam is that he’s trying VERY hard to assimilate not into the hunter cowboy culture that dean is but into the PROTECTED lifestyle of middle/upper class normalcy and ivy leagues and a pretty blonde wife and a respectable job in tax law or whatever. like a lot of sam’s characterization in the early seasons is about striving not necessarily towards “Normalcy” (although thats an essential part of it) but, more broadly, towards the moral ideal that’s been set forth by the white supremacist christian hegemony of american culture. and this manifests in the way that he runs away to stanford and tries so so hard to fit in, and also in his self destructive devotion to the christian god. it’s almost entirely based in a feeling of being unclean or unholy, and he believes in god not as a comfort but as a desperation for salvation, or a purification of what he believes is dirty blood.
so sam is TRYING to assimilate into this mainstream moral ideal, we see that, and there are times where he actually almost succeeds! he got into stanford with a full ride on his own merit! he did really well all four years, and he ended up with friends and a white woman he wanted to marry and entrance into a career that would have marked him as a respectable and fairly well off man for the rest of his life. he is a faithful christian, he prays every day and he reads the bible and he genuinely believes. surface level, he might have been comfortable forgetting about his roots and assimilating successfully for the rest of his life. but, crucially, he DOESNT succeed. why?
there is something marking him as “different” the entire time, something inherent, something he can’t shake off no matter how hard he tries to repress it. at stanford, of course, its his childhood, the monster hunting, the fucked up family, the extreme poverty. with christianity, its the demon blood. he can pretend all his life to be a good christian middle class lawyer with a nice white wife and a nice picket fence, but at the end of the day that life was not built for somebody like sam, and to succeed in it he will have to repress parts of himself that will never go away.
put this into the context of race. i said that i think dean’s relationship with gender white supremacy americana etc becomes more interesting when he’s a brown skinned man of color. dean is unable to assimilate into the kind of life that sam aims for. he has a markedly more antagonistic relationship with cops, he couldn’t get through school even though he’s demonstrably very intelligent, and he just doesn’t make the kind of first impression that sam does; people see sam as sweeter, kinder, more trustworthy, somebody who can be reasoned with. dean, by contrast, is usually treated with more wariness, more distrust. it’s dean who’s the primary target of the manhunt (before they fucking dropped that plotline lmao). all of this evidence taken together, sam, i think, is noticeably lighter than dean, maybe even conditionally white passing.
and this is an important part of how he’s trying to assimilate. he can feel that he’s ALMOST there, that he can ALMOST be the american moral christian ideal he’s been taught is more important than anything, if he can just contort himself into something that closely resembles a middle class christian white man. but that’s all he can ever do, is RESEMBLE that, no matter how hard he works. so he might be a token diversity point at his workplace or his school: of course he earned his place there, but he’s still aware that his position doesn’t come with the same ease of the middle class christian white man sitting next to him. so sam tries to make himself smaller, keeps himself clean shaved, his hair neat, doesn’t let himself tan too much, speaks softly and eloquently, represses his anger, doesn’t talk about his family, dates white girls, has unthreatening career aspirations, tries so so so so so hard to be a good christian because maybe, he thinks, someday he’ll wake up and he won’t feel like he’s wrapped in cellophane, separated by something clear but strong from the culture he’s trying to earn a place in. maybe he’ll feel one day that he’s earned his place, that he’s just the same as everybody around him, that he won’t have this unspoken but obvious difference to him that follows him everywhere. he thinks maybe he’ll be able to separate himself entirely from monstrousness, that one day he’ll pray and it won’t feel like begging to be somebody else.
but when dean comes for him. slowly but surely, he starts to realize that there never has been and never will be a place for him in this american white supremacist christian culture, and the cracks start to appear. he realizes that he’s never really felt at home anywhere, that the roots he’d tried so hard to put down were all wrapped in cellophane too, and after jess’s death, its the easiest thing in the world to pull those roots up because he never belonged there anyway. he starts getting angrier, stops caring who hears him yell. he stops repressing the powers that he’s been hiding from himself for as long as he can remember. very slowly, he looks this fact straight in the face: he is a monstrous Other, and he will never be anything else. he’s always been more self aware than dean, but it doesn’t help him now. he becomes angrier and more desperate all at once, pushing dean away and pulling him closer at the same time, praying more vehemently and still using his powers more often, letting himself become scarier looking and still sweet talking cops. he’s in this permanent state of conflict, because it’s virtually impossible for him to realize that the value system he’s had such faith in his entire life is false and cruel, so when he finds that he’s permanently locked outside of it, it doesn’t help him, it only convinces him that he’s a monster.
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cattles-bians · 3 years
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exes au part 12
post directory
obsetress: don’t ask why i had this thought because i couldn’t tell you but
obsetress: jamie wakes up in the middle of the night one night and is like “i... had a dream. about vi”
obsetress: and dani’s like “ok baby” and just nuzzles deeper into her pillow and jamie’s like
obsetress: “no, dani, a... a dream”
obsetress: and dani’s like “oh. oh” and is immediately wide awake and bright eyed
obsetress: and is like “was it any good?” and jamie is just. already flushed so red and flushed deeper and dani just hums
em: sighs wistfully
em: i also love that something compels jamie to tell dani Immediately
em: oh the perils of begrudgingly being friends w ur gfs ex
em: jamies like um. no see i can see all these different things my brain mashed together and WHY i had this dream and danis like ok but that wasn’t my question....
obsetress: jamie finally throws up her hands “of course it was”
em: jamie: And You Can’t Tell Vi She’ll Be Insufferable
obsetress: dani, very plainly, at brunch the next morning: so vi
obsetress: jamie looks like she’s going to have a heart attack and dani lets her sweat and then just smiles sweetly “i like those sunglasses. are they new?”
em: jamie what’s the problem (nothin. indigestion)
obsetress: dani very smug n thinks she’s very funny
obsetress: (she is a little funny)
em: one of jamies many ‘oh that’s why they dated’ moments
obsetress: “fookin sick, the both of ya”
em: idk why you had this thought but i’m GREATLY amused
obsetress: skskksksks right
obsetress: jamie explaining her dream to dani in great detail afterwards
obsetress: dani sitting there nodding and hmming “oh that sounds like her. no, she wouldn’t do that. now THAT she would be very good at, you’d like it”
em: i need a moment
em: jamie thinks the dark hides her massive fucken blush but it Doesn’t
em: dani can feel her heating up
obsetress: jamie “i don’t ask you to do this” dani “you’re not stopping me”
em: dani critiquing jamies sex dream is such a fucken funny concept sjdhdkhdkdhdkc
obsetress: RIGHT
obsetress: i’m dying
em: dani: oh no that’s OOC
obsetress: she wouldn’t have a riding crop jamie, it’s 2021, not 16—
em: jamie: it’s a wet dream do u really think it’s gonna have beta readers and a three act structure
em: dani hums
obsetress: dani: well did you enjoy it
obsetress: jamie: i— dani: did you?
obsetress: jamie mumbling yeah
em: jamies like i’m gonna interrogate dani next time, see how she feels- but she forgets dani is incapable of feeling shame
obsetress: like dani wouldn’t just launch into a ramble
---
em: viola
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obsetress: fuck
obsetress: yeah
obsetress: to jamie, specifically,
em: to jamie specifically andhdjhdjd
em: once again ironic jamvi has turned, in my brain, into ‘yes and....’ jamvi
—-
obsetress:
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obsetress: jamie sending this to viola n vi's like
obsetress: she doesn't get it because she's convinced her taste is immaculate
---
em: anyway this is ooc even for exes au but i keep thinking abt like. jamie tryna crack how old viola is (she cant be 34 im 30 it doesnt make sense) and going through her fb timeline like. 'aha! motivational quotes. gotta be late 30s' and danis either like
em: danis either like 'you have a notebook where you write down all the quotes you like baby' OR shes like haha ok thats fair (posts another motivational quote on her fb)
obsetress: god i love that so much
obsetress: both of those dani responses are
obsetress: honestly porque no los dos if we're already going ooc
obsetress: i do think the first bit "gotta crack it she can't be 34 i'm 30 it doesn't make sense" is in character fwiw
em: obviously i was inspired by ur post in the milf channel abt viola always saying shes 35
em: big brain
—-
obsetress: this is literally just. exes au rebecca
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obsetress: down to the caption
obsetress: vi and rebecca patiently staging like full photoshoots for each other every time one of them wants a pic otp: i'm not high maintenance, you're just low effort
---
em: bold 2 say that we don’t think about jamie and vi tho
em: gotta keep some sorta. presentation of respectability
em: they absolutely couldn’t date tho
obsetress: lmao ikr
obsetress: yeah no they'd kill each other
obsetress: now just thinking of silly circumstances and um
obsetress: rebecca's out of town and dani's flying back from some iowa thing jamie couldn't get away for to go with
obsetress: and viola's like "oh, just stay at ours, it's closer and i'll get you a car"
obsetress: and just like
obsetress: imagining the two of them cohabitating at vi's for a night
em: jamie sneaking around at night tryna find the bathroom and runs straight into vi in a face mask and a dangerously low dressing gown Again
obsetress: the parallels to canon
obsetress: im giggling
obsetress: walks straight into her path
em: opens a door. sees something she doesn’t want to see. immediately turns and walks away
em: god the face mask would make her look like the lady in the lake
obsetress: yeah
obsetress: vi wants to go out to dinner, jamie's just like "i'm already getting up early to go to the airport, can't we just have an easy night in"
em: what did i say before. that thing abt if ur friends w damie you will inevitably walk in on them
obsetress: god yeah
em: flip of that.
obsetress: oh GOD
em: god they would argue about dinner
em: bicker about EVERYTHING
em: dani and rebecca both make the married couple joke
em: jamie goes pale
obsetress: wait sorry i just went back to tahirahs insta post and like
obsetress: katie parker commented and was like "i love these shots of you" and she was like "thanks luv " and i'm like
obsetress: why does this....... still track........... with exes au...............
em: perdy is always a little too flirty w vis paramours
obsetress: always! except dani for whatever reason
obsetress: she's just scared of dani
em: Please
obsetress: rebecca's like "i don't see what the problem is. she can do what she wants, but you trust me, don't you?" "of course i trust you" rebecca shrugs "that's it then, isn't it?"
obsetress: anyway vi huffs n crosses her arms n pouts a little bit and is like "well i don't want her to"
obsetress: rebecca is endeared and uses the opportunity to her advantage like the top leaning switch she is
em: dani rebecca parallels: always dtf
obsetress: perdi and vi fighting and vi's like "are you even gay? or do you just want what i have?" and perdi is like "does it matter?"
em: are you even gay perdi nahdkdhdkdhd
em: perdi is like you KNOW about jamie and viola crinkles her nose bc she forgot about that and she’s starting to respect jamie as a person
obsetress: djflakdkfjldkadjLDJFLSKDFJLSDKFJx
obsetress: i screeched
em: viola: you only MET jamie because i hired her for landscaping you fucking-
obsetress: just thinking about perdita watching jamie working on some property sweating in a tank top and Deciding
em: bringing out some lemonade etc
em: haha you look parched
obsetress: smiling widely, turning on the charm
obsetress: jamie is very attractive and very swoonworthy, but perdita 100% only goes for it because she refuses to let viola have one (1) thing
obsetress: and that extends to lesbianism
em: viola's like no this is normal right. siblings competing. rivalries etc and danis like uh i’m an only child and jamies like uh i raised my brother
em: they don’t know how to tell her sure it happens but it’s also extremely fucken weird vi
obsetress: jamie: you have to tell her dani: why do i have to tell her jamie: you tell her everything dani: i don't tell her–– ok, i tell her most things. i'm not sure i want to tell her this though jamie: why not dani: she's not... she's not gonna like it jamie: So You Might Be A People Pleaser,
em: jamie: i can’t tell her. she’s only just forgotten the perdi thing. what if she remembers i’ve
em: in depth character study of viola and perdi’s fucked up rivalry
em: violas like goddamn it do i have to fuck jamie to get even
obsetress: i––
em: she decides against it
em: jamie is none the wiser
obsetress: she Considers it tho
em: jamie would die on the spot if she knew
obsetress: weighs the pros and cons
obsetress: the best part is like
obsetress: this is all post-danvi and pre-damie right so when dani n jamie see rebecca and vi at that video store
obsetress: viola's like wait.
obsetress: wait
obsetress: dani ending up with the hot gardener her sister fucked because she has bizarre jealousy and possession issues is really just the cherry on top of a shit sundae
em: the funniest part of all our very tangled lore is like
em: none of it contradicts bc it’s even funnier when it’s Extremely Ugly And Messy
em: because lesbians are just... like that
---
obsetress: exes au au where viola did fuck jamie, the video rental shop scene is 100 times more awkward
em: don’t think about it don’t think about it dont
em: i am thinking about it
em: jamie has to deal with having been railed by all three of them instead of just the two
em: it feels very uneven to her bc rebeccas a doll, dani, u don’t understand, and ur only running into one ex,
obsetress: talk about the mortifying ordeal of being known
obsetress: "wait, that's your ex?" "yeah" "dani" "what" "dani" "what" jamie's voice is hushed but a lil pitchy and a lot panicky "i think i fucked your ex" "you think?" "i fucked your ex" "you fucked her or she fucked you? because i'm sorry, baby, but i really don't think––"
em: sorry, baby, but i really don’t think-
em: SCREAMED
obsetress: that might be my fave lil bit i've ever written adlfkjasdklf
em: dani being a little too interested in jamie getting railed is like. everything to me
obsetress: jamie's already big blushing
em: a little secret between hannah obsetress and em cowlesbian but i am So thinking abt it
em: patreon exclusive exes au au
[em edit: you can imagine how long this lasted]
obsetress: no one is happy about this situation except dani, who is delighted
em: after, jamie's like. what did u mean by u don’t think that...
em: puffs out her chest
em: i could have-
em: danis like yeah but i know u didn’t did u
obsetress: dani clayton ilu
em: danis like um
em: completely unprompted bc dani ‘finishes a conversation 5 hours later’ is really funny to me
em: danis like i did tho
em: jamies like can you DROP IT
em: she’s SMUG
em: she’s so pleased w herself
obsetress: in bed with the lights off jamie's pulling the sheets up and closing her eyes afterthought
obsetress: just a happy lil hum and an "i did, though"
obsetress: and jamie knows IMMEDIATELY what she's talking about
em: dani never lets jamie live it down
obsetress: never!
obsetress: they'll be washing dishes one day "hey baby?" "hmm" "you slept with a landlord"
em: oh um. flipping the whole ‘experienced jamie virginal dani’ trope everyone loves but
em: i love the idea of dani being like hey jamie did u ever- and jamies like (grumbles) does it matter
em: dani is mentally applying a gold star to her chart
obsetress: ksdljfskdfjlsdjflksdjaf
obsetress: the gold star
em: at this point dani is absolute just tryna tease jamie so she’s like oh well when- and jamies like ok i get it
em: jamie Pretends not to be a little interested
obsetress: meanwhile vi and rebecca very matter of factly swapped stories the first day they Realized
obsetress: vibecca swapping stories and their stories complimenting each other so well that they're like well. hmm
obsetress: glad those two found each other
em: two praise kinks u say
em: ok sorry one more thought i’m thinking abt like
em: jamie staying over (idk if this is before or during damie) and viola and perdi are having yet another spat on the phone and violas like
em: no you ALWAYS do this, whatever you think you’re doing with rebecca-‘ and she barely hears some muffled sorta ‘oh, sorry, remember jamie-
em: and jamies doing the maths. hmm
em: jamies like actually i refuse to examine this further. self care
em: brings it up with dani later and dani LOSES her shit laughing
em: haha jamie you got willoughby’ed
obsetress: SCREAMS
obsetress: you got willoughby'd
obsetress: how does one get willoughbyd asking for a friend
em: yeah same asking for a friend
obsetress: dani, gigglesnorting: wait, you hooked up with... with perdi?
obsetress: (dani hates perdita because viola hates perdita and it is a deep seated hatred she refuses to unlearn)
obsetress: a loyalty strange and enduring, despite it all
em: to be fair perdi is the Worst
em: all of these characters i love to make sympathetic and then perdi is where i draw the line akdhdkhd
em: it’s funnier if she’s awful
em: like a viola that never gets therapy
obsetress: lldjfkaskldfj god same
obsetress: it's too good
em: danis like wait hold on. lemme get a pen
em: makes a silly little chart
em: if the fandom tries to make jamie into a shane the l word character i will simply take that and make jamie mortified abt her uh. well! a pretty girl is nice to her and she forgets how to behave
em: jamie's like oh sure like u don’t have embarrassing flings- and danis like yeah but i don’t interact w them on a daily basis jamie
em: also i didn’t fuck perdi
obsetress: skskskflsdflks
obsetress: "you did fuck perdi though, right? because that just be embarrassing, jamie, if she had been the one who..."
em: skgsdjhdkdhdk
em: jamie grumbles something abt pillow princesses and dani like
em: CLAPS her hands in glee
obsetress: jlsdjflkJSDFKJSDFJ
obsetress: GOD
obsetress: she's immediately pulling out her phone to text vi
em: jamies like why would u message her sister that u freak n danis like oh no theyre very open with each other it’s uh. hmm. anyway
12 notes · View notes
latetaektalk · 3 years
Note
hi there ^^' i'm... kinda new to this whole tumblr thing and have been wanting to write on here for a while but this huge place is kinda scary sometimes haha ;; do you have any writing tips or tricks that would be good to know for newcomers? (also your music taste is immaculate, i love it)
hey love 💕 first of all, welcome to tumblr!! its a fun place,, youre gonna love it, and learn to hate it lol second of all, thank you for complimenting my music taste 😳
now im not quite sure if you want only writing tips or writing blog tips, so ive included tips and tricks for both!
WRITING BLOG TIPS :
have a masterlist. this might seem stupid and obvious, but ive seen people with no masterlist. people are lazy, so if they cant access your writing easily, they will just click away.
have a clean theme. aesthetics are important. they are. people love clean and easy to navigate themes. again, people are lazy, so if you make it easy to click through your blog and get to your writing, youll increase the chance of people reading your stuff!
how to get your work show up in general. putting links in your fanfic might lead to your story not showing up in the search. ive also heard that a banner thats too big can cause that. even using too many tags can lead to your work not showing up. its complicated.
the first five tags. im sure youve heard abt this already but the first five tags are the tags that will actually show up! so if someone follows #bts fluff and you tag your fic with that, your fic can show up on people's dashes as a recommended post!
tag accordingly. speaking of tags, please tag accordingly! theres nothing more annoying than finding a jimin fanfic in the taehyung fanfic tag. i really discourage you from mistagging your stories. if im scrolling through the taehyung fanfic tag and find a jimin fanfic, it makes me want to not read it. just tag your fics accordingly.
reblog your fics. i mean it. seriously, reblog them as much as you want! people live in different time zones or sometimes forget abt wanting to read your stuff, so reblogging it consistently for a week or so to get it on people's dashes helps!
teasers and taglists. i recommend doing both! teasers help to get people excited for your story and taglists ensure that people will read it, or at least remember to!
dont stress abt notes. now, this is less of a tip but rather something i just really really really want to tell you! i know youve heard this before, but please do not stress about notes. tumblr fame does not exists! it doesnt matter if your writing gets 2 notes or 300 or 5k notes! i do understand how getting a lot of notes can be motivating (every fics deserve all the love in the world by the way!!) but in the end, it should not be your motiviation to write. focusing on notes will ruin writing for you. it will. the amount of notes your fic will reach has nothing to do with how good your writing is. dont let something as superficial as notes ruin the fun of writing for you. its seriously not worth it! write for you and no one else!
WRITING TIPS :
write self indulgent fics. i seriously think all fics should be self indulgent. writing fics should be fun, so please write whatever you want! also, theres no such thing as an overdone trope. if you want to write a fake dating enemies to lovers fic, please write it! you might think there are already a bunch out there and its not worth writing another one, but youre wrong! there isnt one out there thats been written by you yet. go write it!
make playlists. now this is a bit specific to me because im absolutely obsessed with music, but making playlists that fit the mood of the fic has always helped me while writing and gotten me out of writers block before!
take your time. writing is freaking hard and when writers block hits, theres rarely ever something that you can do. try not to stress too much abt it! it happens to the best of us!
balance dialogue and detail. its important to find a middle. if im reading a fic and theres paragraph after paragraph after paragraph of detail, the chance of me just skipping that part is really high. because even though i love detail, it does get boring. so use dialogue to spice it up!
reading. okay, this sounds weird because youre asking for writing tips, but reading seriously help your writing so much! if you wanna improve your writing skills, reading a lot is going to be key. now, im not saying reading is necessary, but i do think that it can help you to better! whats even more important though is that you try to analyse people’s writing while reading. when i say you should analyse people’s writing, i do not mean you should write an entire analysis of a book, but to take a second and think to yourself how the authors just did that. how did they convey oc’s sadness? why did they just describe the weather? whats the purpose of this scene?
switch up sentence/paragraph length. shorter sentences/paragraphs = emphasise something and pick up the pace. longer sentences/paragraphs = slow down the story and allow for more detail. its important that you do a mix of both. utilise the length to your advantage. a well placed short sentence/paragraph can pack a lot of punch and turn your sad story in a heartbreaking one.
outline your fics. look this is very personal again because some people dont like to outline their fics, but i recommend outlining your fics. and when i say outline your fics, you can do it as little or as much as you want! it can be a few notes, or a long list of every detail you want to include. i just want you to know where this story is headed. its so easy to write yourself in a corner and trust me, you dont wanna end up there.
allow yourself to be free. this connects to the previous point i just made. even though i do recommend outlining your fics, i am also a firm believer of taking the story somewhere else if you feel like it. ive scrapped complete outlines before. half of the scenes i write also arent in my outline at all. you dont have to stick to the outline. if you think that a specific scene would add something to your story, then please go ahead and write that scene. just always remember where youre headed and dont loose focus.
have fun. i just really wanna reiterate this point again. its just so important to me that you have fun while writing! seriously. its just fanfiction. it should be fun. go crazy. i support you!
okay bub i hope this was helpful 💕 if you have any other questions/want more tips/want me to elaborate on something, please just hit me up! my ask box is always open!
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borom1r · 3 years
Note
SAW asks!! I have been thinking abt Mallick a lot tbh,, I honestly wld rlly like to hear whatever you've got abt him n Adam, him n Lawrence, and maybe him n Eric/William? Whether it's just like... a soft moment, or smth they like to do w each other specifically, maybe smth one of them does that they don't realize they do but the Other person notices, stuff like that!! (sorry if these aren't like,, very specific I am Very tired bfndnsjw)
mmmrhjgf prefacing this by saying i went into this night of festivities thinking "oh yea that strawberita from last night was ass and didnt do shit" and proceeded tp drink 2/3 of a twested tea and may i just say. not only is it not Ass, but it did in fact Do Shit ( i am drunkr than i expected to be)
anyways Mallick!!!
i think like. w/ Adam/Mallick th name of the game is Similarities. they r vverry very similar but like inverse sorta bc Adam is the way he is asa defense mechanism and fr Mallick what u see is what u get (insecuritieeeeeees)
but uhh to touch on headcanons ive kinda grazed over in th past i think Adam and Mallick have both self-harmed, Mallick currently + Adam moreso in the past— i think Mal is careful to keep anything fresh hidden at first bc he doesn't want to deal w/ some of his partners' reactions (even if it would be worry. sometimes thats just. too much).
but Adam notices the way he winces when he moves sometimes and the way he very gingerly sits down and, yknow. he's observant. and hes been there. and the next time they're alone he just asks "have you put bandaids on?" and maybe he gets a yes, maybe he gets a "no but i cleaned them" but its. its not the overwhelming concern that always makes Mal feel a little sick, it's just. recognition from someone whos been in that pace, no pressure to talk but a subtle reassurance that someone cares and wants to check in if he's taken care of them. not beg him to stop or ask what's wrong or to see them. its yet another moment of.. understanding n accommodation that Mal's just not fucking used to. and when its about smthn like that hes uh. hes more grateful than he can honestly express
Mallick/Lawrence is djfhjksf man. i go back n forth on how i feel about it honestlyyyyy bc i do think there's a larger disconnect between their perspectives than there is between Adam + Lawrenfce but im uh. no thoughts head empty <3
w/e whether i ssee them romantically or not doesnt matter this can go either way <3 but i do love the tenderness of making drinks for yr partner. knowing what they like + fixing smthn to surprise them bc yr already making smthn for yrself. and how just. purely fuckin touched Mal would b that sm1 remembered his preferences.. anyways i think Mal likes chamomile tea w lots of milk and honey and the first time Lawrence just makes him a cup + it hits that Lar Remembered What He Likes makes Mal 🥺 👉🏻👈🏻
+ uummnn Mal/Eric soft moment... ssjdshjdfk
i think Eric has a polaroid camera tht was a gift from Adam— ive touched on his notebook for important things but i think after hearing him express frustration at all the little memories he's missing that don't feel important enough to Write Down but still like. mean something, Adam scrounges up some cash + picks Eric up a camera. nd i think theres one day where he and Mal walk to the gas station to get ice cream and theyre walking home, sun shining, and Mal got a drumstick cone— and he winds up w a smudge of melted chocolate shell on his nose. but before he can wipe it off ("wait, hang on- don't wipe it yet") Eric takes a picture of him, smiling sheepishly, melting cone in hand and chocolate smeared on th tip of his nose.
and Mal just ????? and Eric shrugs, "you looked too cute for me to risk forgetting." and Mal... ohhhhh he definitely has to let that sink in for a while (very much a rudolph "she thinks im cute!!!!" moment later when hes hanging out w Adam + Adam is like. "yea dude we all think ur cute <33" sjkfhkjsdhf)
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bokuroaka · 4 years
Note
hi! can i ask how u made ur carrd like what are the settings? ty!
omg YES i love carrd making hi anon. if there’s anything specific u want just lmk!! under the cut bc its long... i make most of my carrds on desktop so this is very desktop based.... to all of u who do ur carrds on mobile honestly kudos i cld never
uhm also when i say long like this is v long bc i added a lot of reasoning to my settings n tips that i’ve picked up on making carrds (plus the screenshots) i hope it helps tho ^_^ apologies if u knew most of this stuff tho bc i explained... everything...
some notes before we get in: for colors i usually just base everything off the sidebar image and use a color picking website (i use this one) to get the the html codes for colors. the site i use also generates a palette which i also use! ur free to use anything tho obv. the font i used is “inter” 
1. ok first here are my page settings! i wont include my animation settings now ill leave that to the end.. these r rlly the only settings that i’ve changed so i’ll just post these.
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ok i dont rlly change much except for these two, the position is set to top not center (which is the default) b/c esp w carrds like the one i have now i dont like the header portion moving depending on the height of the container underneath... does that make sense? that’s just super nitpicky of me LOL but if u do end up making the carrd n playing around w the settings u’ll see what i mean
the width is set to 22 bc i like small carrds! play around w this as u see fit, i also change it depending on how it looks like in mobile (im very thorough lol) if ur wondering how u can do that on desktop, its this phone looking icon on this bar on the top right of the screen: (the 6th icon!)
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the next pic is also default settings except my spacing is set to 0. i’ll explain why later! the alignment also doesnt really matter w/ this carrd. u can play around with it tho!
2. this is for the home page!
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first i’ll explain how this is set up: the title box and the box under it (i’ll call it info box) are both containers! here is why i put set the spacing to 0 earlier: if u put 2 containers theres going to be space btwn them and to achieve this kind of look (ig) i just set the page spacing (in the page settings) to 0. however this means that everything is going to be pressed up against each other so i usually just add dividers (which are transparent [color code is #96969600]) i wont post a screenshot bc the settings r default, except for the margins which u can play around with to see what works for u (it’s set to 0.375 for me rn)
here are my settings for the title box 
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most of these r pretty standard except for the padding and border. the reason why i didnt tick the bottom part is bc of the container w all my info underneath. both containers have borders so the bottom & top border of those containers wld just merge n create a thicker border which isnt what i was looking for... anyway.
then i just add a text element & just write my title! idt my settings for that r relevant so i wont add it (the text size is 0.875)
next is the info box! here are my settings: 
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btw this is a container with columns!! those can look p wonky on mobile so make sure to have these settings on so that they wont look awful on mobile!!
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oh also i wont post a screenshot of my text settings (text size is 0.75 + line spacing is 1.25) if ur wondering how i changed colors for some of the text the format is basically just [text]{#color} 
for the image size i set the width size to full (or full column) that depends on u (and how much text u put in the info part) i just prefer how it looks like when the image width is set to full bc that way no part of the image is cut off... really depends on u and what image ur using though so just play around w/ it!!
and in terms of spacing, i have a divider on top of the title box b/c otherwise the whole thing is just too high up for my taste
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ok now to explain the header part and how i got my title/info box to stay “fixed”
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so... im ngl. i dont understand how the header function works (help) so uhh i wont go as into detail here. but what worked for me is adding a header marker (the plus thing on the bar > control > change section break to header marker) right after the info container, then adding a section break (this one is called #wala bc wala here means ‘nothing’ in bisaya lol) and a transparent divider right after it. i hope its visible in the pic... anyway this is the only method i found that makes the carrd work lmao. it rlly doesnt matter what u name the #wala section break bc its not gonna show up so u might as well just use a keysmash
3. the extra info!! (extra, interests, byf)
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this section will b shorter compared to the first two LOL anyway. first i started off w a section break (#usa which means 1 in bisaya hehe), then a transparent divider for spacing, and then a container! theres nothing fancy abt this container it has the exact same settings as the info box above so u can just duplicate that container and change the container type from columns to default.
then just add ur info and ur done!! repeat w whatever extra info u want to add (i only had 3 to add so it looks like this for me)
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4. oh before i forget, these are my animation settings!! (page > the triangle thing)
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u can preview the on load animation by clicking the triangle button on the top right bar, but for the on section change animations u have to save then preview it on ur carrd itself :/ kinda annoying but yeah... i usually never set anything above 0.5 seconds for on section change animations bc im impatient LOL 
these r completely optional tho... i just think animations make the carrd look smoother & more fun!
thats it i think! here are some tips i have
1. this tip is abt how carrds can differ when on mobile! i sometimes fiddle around with the mobile settings to make sure my carrd looks the way i want it to on mobile! bc mobile sometimes fucks up the spacing and it annoys me LOL... example here: 
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u can find these settings if u scroll down a bit on the page settings and switch mobile from auto to manual (like in the screenshot) most of the settings i dont touch except the size setting, i just fiddle around w it and see how my carrd looks in the mobile view until im satisfied
2. this isnt rlly necessary but its smthn neat i picked up! if u check ur section break settings and check hide footer u can get rid off the “( made with carrd )” text on the bottom! i think it just makes the carrd look a bit neater, esp since the page spacing is set to 0 so it might look a little squished under the container...
3. i like to use all elements of my carrd efficiently (ig? heres the engineering major jumping out) and idk if u noticed, but if u click on the title (”it has always been once for me”) or the image (which is... of tbz..) it actually takes u back to the home page ^^ idk i just think small things like that r neat 
thats it for real!! i hope this wasnt too much of a hassle to read or follow through, and if u have any questions dont hesitate to dm me or send me an ask, even if we arent mutuals!! i hope u have fun making this carrd <3
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germaphobiaofficial · 4 years
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again, with everyone being a bit of a germaphobe in these times i feel like its actually gotten easier for some (not all, and definitely not most) germaphobes. like, ppl actually understand what its like to think like me, behave and act like me, proceed in several different, minute situations like me!!
for all the ones struggling with the pandemic, i genuinely think u need to build up strength in ur heart to face the current world. dont give up!!!! now that ppl are more understanding of these situations, its probably very easy to explain ur condition (in case u havent "come out" about it yet) or have others respect ur space better (in the case that others already knew abt ur phobia).
now im not saying u should keep ur rituals forever, bc the trick is to work on them slowly. so slow, u might even revert back to ur rituals without thinking. its happened to me, it can happen to u, and that is totally fine!! please remember that.
heres an example: i used to hit light switches with my knuckles, but then i started to flip them with my fingers, normally. sometimes i would forget abt this advancement and flip them with my knuckles again. but most times, if not always, i would be aware of it and think "i need to stop this, its for my own good, and ive done it before with no repercussions, so ill try to do better next time!"
recovery, funnily enough, is not like a light switch. u cant just flip it and everything will be ok from then on. its gradual, to the point that sometimes u go backwards, for whatever reason it might be. it doesnt matter why u go backwards, as long as u understand and keep the will to go forward. that is the most important part.
so with the pandemic, u might go several steps backwards bc of fear, which is very understandable given what germaphobia is like. but always keep that strength in ur heart and u will see at the end of this dark gloomy tunnel, theres a wonderful world of feeling so free, u might not even recognize who u were before.
its gonna be alright.
one day u will recover.
i promise :)
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seekerstone · 6 years
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would love to be allowed to have an opinion without shut down ✨
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hey-hamlet · 6 years
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BNHA AU Ideas : The villain’s little hero
Also on AO3! 
TL;DR:  All Might, Japan's number 1 villain has a successor. The problem? His successor is a hero hopeful. All Might will stop at nothing to make sure his kid gets to live his dream.
au where all might is a villain raising izuku to be a hero!
quirkless izuku, his backstory is mostly the same
all might decided that hero work had too much red tape. if he was going to take down afo, he needed the freedom to do whatever he had to and he wasnt getting that working within the law
so hes a,,, viilllaaaiinnn?? like. stain. but less murdery, would also save civilians if they were in danger
he has 0 qualms about crippling fake heroes but hes not a fan of murder
nighteye is still his sidekick, he doesnt use his quirk on allmight bc all might h a t e s it
hes kinda on board with "the future is only set in stone because you've seen it now" so he wants the freedom to break fate. but its very useful to get info, so nighteye just uses it on other people
hero to the people villain to literally everyone else
allmights villain costume is reallll similar to his hero costume. just less eye bleeding
he has longer grey hair too.
all mights bronze age costume is basically his villain costume thanks for listening
david shield is still in this story
david agrees w all might and like,,, sneaks him stuff on the downlow
all might told him ab. his quirk because who on earth is gonna believe that one america man about japans worst supervillain?
also melissa is a Soft Young Woman and she is all mights favourite person on this fucking planet until he meets izuku
all might went to ua, only defected after completing his hero training because he wanted to be trained by the people he was going to screw over
izuku has always kinda been a big fan of all might. not openly because hes legally a villain and very much paints himself as one, but his quirk is one of the most amazing things izuku has ever seen
when he looks closer, all might has never let a civilian get hurt once hes been on scene. hes taken hits to protect housing, hes pulled heroes from the line of fire
izuku watches his sports festivals and wonders why? why did all might, the man who happily told the world he'd stop at nothing to keep them safe, suddenly flip sides like that for no reason?
izuku doesnt buy it
izuku's big yellow backpack is a big red one in this universe, hes had it so long its gone pink but he still loves it
the sludge villain
all might saves him and izuku is crying. allmight thinks its because hes scared but izuku just turns to him with this big weepy eye smile and gives him the most genuine thanks he thinks hes ever been given
(its honestly the shock of that that makes him deflate into small might, which has izuku scrambling to find tissues and called an ambulance before he thinks better of calling emergency services for All Might)
izuku is like "Im SO SORRY SIR ARE YOU oK"
and all might is like ",,, b  oy"
izuku softly asking
"can,, can i still be someone with out a quirk? can i still make a difference?"
all might doesnt get the chance to anser because there is a massive explosion in the distance
its bakugo!! hes dying
the sludge villain got away bc izuku and all might were chatting a little
izuku hears it and he feels this terrible realization, because its probably not bakugo? but its definitely bakugo because izuku's life is falling to pieces
he sprints towards him and katsuki will n e v e r admit it but he feels hope in that moment because some one is trying to help. even if its just izuku, he wasnt totally left for dead
all might sees this tiny, nervous, quirkless kid run straight up to a villain that almost killed him seconds before to save someone what looks like they'd rather die
and he thinks
"no one deserves one for all more than him"
and allmight, the most wanted villain in japan, maybe the world, jumps in
the heroes look at him and they are scared. if they couldnt take the sludge villain, what is all might going to do to them? but the scariest man in japan, the person parents tell their kids about to stop them from going out at night, blows the sludge villain to tiny pieces and carefully, gently, places the two boys by the heroes
before he vanishes before they can call for backup or even ask why
izuku gets yelled at by the heroes because the heroes are scared and angry they couldnt stop either of the villains and izuku is so overwhelmed that hes crying and he can hardly breathe
bakugo doesnt even yell at him because hes so dazed about everything that happened and he cant make himself yell at this sobbing kid that used to be his friend
(bakugo is holding izukus hand like hes going to crush it but its the only thing keeping izuku present)
izuku is walking home and hes still hicuping and crying because he almost died and the heroes hate him and he feels a hand on his shoulder, and a soft :"its ok now my boy"
he knows its all might but he cant help but hide his face in his shirt and sob
all might gets down so he can look izuku in the eye
"you asked me if you could be someone with out a quirk and i didnt get the chance to answer. my answer? you already are someone. you are someone that inspired me, a villain, to save the day. you are going to be amazing"
and looks him dead in the eye "you'll do amazing things, even with out a quirk. but, you of all people deserve one, and no matter what you chose to do with it, it can be yours. hero, villain or someone in between"
izuku looks at this villain
this painfully thin villain, who just saved his life and who has unimaginable strength
and he throws his arms around his waist and sobs
inko isnt a great mum in this au and she likes to basically pretend izuku doesnt exist
izuku trains a lot and has to make his own food bc his mum just ignores him
he sneaks out at night to clear trash and sneaks back in before dawn to clean the sand from his hair
he smells like saltwater and rust, and he hasnt slept more than 4 hours a night in weeks and katsuki is worried
all might sees him crumbling with a smile stuck on his face and he wants to stop him from self-destructing, but the kid will never learn his lesson until he feels his body give up under what hes doing to it. if all might steps in he'll do it again and again until no one stops him and hes never learnt his limit.
so he waits and he watches while he pretends he cant see the bags under his eyes and pretends that everytime izuku sways on his feet he doesnt feel a jolt of deep panic
did he do this? if he the reason izuku looks like hes falling apart before his eyes?
the kid passes the fuck out and all might tells him off in a soft dad way and izuku cries bc why does this villain care more than his mum does
and all might catches the end of that little mumble, and feels terrible so he pretends he didnt hear and takes him for lunch
they go to a cafe and all might buys izuku the cutest slice of cake and a big ass bowl of katsudon and some fancy fucking tea and covers the kids eyes every time he tries to look at the prices
izuku looks at all might and asks
"are you buying me katsudon with crime money"
and all might looks sheepish and izuku giggles like an idiot and says "dont tell me ill feel bad!!!"
all might grins bc this kid is honestly the only reason he hasnt stabbed a pro hero in a few months bc hes so fucking sweet
he has to carry izuku half the way home bc the kid could barely lift his chopsticks and almost fell asleep in the booth after he finished eating
and allmight, skinny and kinda scary is giving his 15 year old a piggy back and someone says "you're such a good dad!" and he almost coughs up his last lung
izuku mumbles sleepily and hes has the biggest warm and fuzzy feeling and hes going to yell bc hes All Might the No. 1 Villain and this fucking kid is drooling on his sweater but he would die for him
some random stranger on the street commenting on how it was rly fortunate that izuku inherited his adorable smile from his father
all might, abt to burst into tears: whack
allmight is easily flustered even when hes killed a man
he comes home and inko isnt there so he has to like, wake up izuku to get him to open the door and he feels bad bc izuku is a Sleepy Man
izuku mumbles that he cant ever tell if shes at home or not because nothing changes and all might feels a wave of "wait my son isnt being parented enough"
so he makes izuku a cup of tea and tucks him into bed after he has a shower because izuku is His Son Now Inko
hes like
sitting in the living room reading the paper and he hears inko's car and hes like ",,, fuck it im walking out the front door im no coward"
she doesnt even notice and hes going to scream because does she have a brain
inko, spaced out, tired and terrible: oh is the tall man here for izuku :))) thats great :)))
all might is screaming bc"" do you get let weird men into see your tiny son>???? what the fuck???
hes so small inko??? and you?? let random men in?????
all might would yeet her into the sun if he could but his boy needs an actual family member to make going to ua easier
inko is kinda mentally ill. she is depressed and often forgets she has izuku. like shes not always being terrible she just sometimes forget to do basic things
one time she locked izuku out of the house for 10 hours and he had to sleep next to the front door
one month she didnt buy any food so by the end of it he was starving and out of his own money and there was n o t h i n g in the house, but inko would go out to eat every night and lunch and not take her son
allmight is upset bc izuku didnt tell him but izuku is embarrassed. embarrassed that he was forgotten by his own mum, that he couldnt do anything to help her or himself and honestly mad he was so hungry all might noticed bc he didnt want to bug him
it was getting to the point that katsuki actually slipped some change into his bag with a candy bar
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mawbwehownets · 5 years
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Yep. I'm a curious mofo and your one of my favorite blogs.
dam alright…. i cut out the three i already answered
peach: do you have any piercings or tattoos?
i have regular ol ear piercings! i really want a septum and maybe a lip ring someday but like. my pain tolerance is so low its gonna take a while to get there,
raspberry: favorite flower?
ive said this before, i dont really know a Whole Lot about flowers but my go-to is always forget-me-nots
mango: what is your trademark?
agejsh you tell me idk!!!! i guess if this is meant to be. like. physically. i have a baseball cap i wear a lot that says “love always wins” on the side + its got a lesbian pin and a “… you know ;)” mcelroy pin
passion fruit: how would you describe your style?
im…. unsatisfied w it fjehfj
i have a lot of self esteem issues still and also. as a fat person its hard to find anything that fits you right so i dont really have my. desired style yet
preferably i wanna get to some sorta space punk aesthetic? but rn im just in ‘whatever fits and is comfortable’
pineapple: sexual orientation?
lesbian baybey
strawberry: favorite desserts?
ough fuck… its so unhealthy but i love meringue cake fjehf its the perfect combo of cronch and soft
grape: if you could take a vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go?
WEST VIRGINIA…… MOUNTAIN MAMA……… COUNTRY ROADS………….. TAKE ME TO MY BEST FRIENDS HOME…………………
i also would like to go to nyc and see be more chill in the theatre but i know that aint EVER gonna happen fjebfh. id maybe like to go to alabama and see some mh locations!! but probably After virginia. id get my best friend to drive us both there. beat a man to death with a rock in a tunnel, yk, get the true experience
blackberry: is your life an action film, a comedy, a romantic comedy, or drama?
this is like. one of those really bad dramas where it inadvertently Becomes a comedy
pomegranate: when do you feel the most confident?
uhhhh. when i pretend like i am fhdhd fake it til you make it is Legit Advice yall
cantaloupe: what are your parents’ names?
redacted and redacted but my mom has. a Very white suburban mom name
guava: dark & dramatic makeup or natural makeup?
i hate like. complexion makeup so im gonna ignore all that and pretend like this is only abt eyeshadow and lipstick and in that case WHATEVER THE FUKC YOU WANT i think eye makeup is So Cool no matter which direction its in!!
tangelo: if you could be any mythical creature, which would you be?
idk i like satyrs a lot!! mayhabeth them
plum: favorite clothing brands?
does ANYONE in the world have a favorite clothing brand. legitimate question. i just scuttle into a store, grab whatever doesnt hurt my body and Leave
coconut: favorite perfume?
i dont wear perfume basically at all or rly know anyone who does agehdg
lychee: satin or lace?
ive never felt satin i dont think??? i couldnt tell you
blueberry: what do you want to dress up as for halloween?
i never get invited anywhere on halloween i dont fuckign know fhehr
but. if i Had to choose….
apple: what do you use more, tumblr or twitter?
kiwi: what’s something that fascinates you?
i think i have a total of. like. five posts on twitter
watermelon: do you have a job? if so, what is your job title?
i mean…. a lot!!!! the world is so exciting and brimming with life and mysteries like how can you Not be intrigued by all that
papaya: what song describes your aesthetic?
absolutely not im jus out here
cranberry: favorite time of the day; morning, afternoon, dusk, or night?
summertime by my chemical romance… also this danish song called ‘en varm nats kølige luft’ by panamah AND humility by gorillaz its sorta. its different vibes of the same feel
nectarine: would you consider yourself an emotional person?
i really like dusk/nighttime!
orange: do you have long eyelashes?
im literally only up right now because i couldnt stop thinking abt two fictional characters and getting sad and crying over them. Yeah
apricot: what do you do when you’re sad?
i mean. decently. they sometimes brush against my glasses fhebbfb
star fruit: favorite sea creature?
if im at a point where its healthy for me to vibe w the sadness i put on some mellow tunes to cultivate it and channel it and ride it out, but if im Not i usually draw and/or listen to really upbeat music, distract myself w some podcasts or yt videos, stuff like that
ough fuck… idk theyre all so baby. i like whale sharks a lot
if its served 2 me! i dont go out with the specific purpose of drinking but i have a glass of wine with my parents every now and then
dragonfruit: do you drink alcohol?
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HI HOW DO YOU WRITE CHARACTERS
hewwo! i can answer this! im literally gonna do a quick list of both deh and bmc characters for u under this readmore! :D
im gonna start with deh because smaller cast!
evan: 
isn’t so much stuttery as he tends to repeat things and uh stammer a bit here and there. stutters over his words sometimes but it’s more l-like this and uh, like… like this
evan hansen has anxiety. he is not anxiety. evan hansen fucks up and makes mistakes and probably internalizes a lot of things. very polite when in public but he can be a bit snappy (as seen w evans comment abt how zoe’s parents have never been poor i believe? it was something he said to zoe)
soft spoken, most of the time. probably not the kind of guy to vocally ask for things until he’s at a comfortable enough point that he feels like he’s not bothering you (same buddy)
i see evan as someone who gets frustrated with himself easily. not as a sense of “god i wish i were normal” but more of a “i should be able to do this, why cant i do this, i want to do this but i cant” because sometimes it’s just a matter of i literally cant do this and i dont know why? and god its so frustrating sometimes
jared:
jared kleinman is a fucking asshole and he knows it. very sarcastic and uses it to cover up his own insecurities, probably the kind of dude who laughs in your face when you tell him off when internally he’s just OH FUCK OH SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
a lot of ppl write jared as being insecure abt his weight and tbh i don’t see that being a problem for him? i see jared as being insecure abt the fact he comes off very snarky and assholeish but he turns it around and tries to own it even though… that’s not something you want to be proud of? and he knows that
not the kind of dude who stops to assess his feelings. he powers through shit and insists he’s okay until he’s out of steam. i think it was psy who said he’s a “needs therapy boi” and tbh she’s right? 
can be very passive aggressive imo it’s something he really needs to work on.
arrogant, sarcastic, and just a big fucking dick who needs to learn how to watch his mouth.
zoe:
not an pure baby angel, by any means. we’re at a disadvantage because we only see zoe when she’s sort of grieving (because grief can and will come in different ways, and while i see her as not missing connor, i do think that her pushing away her feelings is a form of her grieving imo? it’s a weird thing to explain but there’s a part of zoe that does miss (the old) connor’s presence as w the fake emails evan “gave her her brother back” (albeit a very fake version of connor) and sort of standoffish when it comes to the subject of connor
a bit of an ambivert. extremely outgoing when she’s around her friends or when it comes to music and other things she loves.
very individualistic! her style tends to have doodles on her clothes, she dyes her hair a lot, she probably would be the kind of person to make her own jewelry!
very sweet. the castng call for zoe describes her as being the kind of person who learns the names of the kids who sit alone at lunch and thats she goes out of her way to be nice to people since. connor. yeah.
thats all ive got for zoe but u can always send questions in and i can say yes or no after i ask my pals too
alana:
smart gal! valedictorian! president! i love her! tends to overshare a bit. anxiety + depression gal.
probably into gardening tbh? i can see alana having succulents in her room and maybe a dog that just chills with her.
dont be afraid to make alana mouthy. alana is someone whos extremely headstrong in her actions imo and does what she believes is right, even if others dont believe that. like… think about the fact that she literally published what was believed to be connor’s suicide note because she thought it’d get them the last bit of help they needed for the orchard. it literally fucked the murphys over - but she never considered that?
very much an extrovert. just really wants to belong, man. very optimistic on the surface but i can see her being a little less so underneath. she looks on the bright side because if she doesnt, she doesnt know who will and idk i dont think alana’s the kind of person who just... lets that risk be there.
connor:
we dont kno much abt connor in canon but uhhh…. i can see connor as being a loner, sort of aggressive by accident (tbh this dude’s probably used to people being a dick to him so he’s just sorta standoffish in response) but like… whenever i write connor i usually write him as getting better? he’s gotten the help he needs and he’s doin better 
artsy depressed dude. poetry, painting, ect - whatever u want tbh. i just see connor, with help, finding himself in art or something creative (theatre and music included! u do u!)
very much a reader. this dude both has a lot of books on his bookshelf and a lot more books he hasnt fucking read because hes terrible at reading new books. (i personally hc he loves all of poe’s work)
to sorta sum connor up: bold, but not outgoing. caring, but not obvious with it (once he gets help btw). easily angered but sometimes he just doesn’t fucking know why and that frustrates him further. troubled.
honestly if u want to see one of my fave connors - check out @ask-sincerely-memes​! i rly love how they portray all three of the boys, but connor is by far my favorite! (mod con and/or mod ev if u read this i love u)
OK ONTO THE BMC FUCKERS if you want to kno abt the adults for either show then feel free to ask
jeremy:
anxiety boy, but not evan hansen level of anxiety. more just… self deprecating, not super confident in himself, probably underestimates himself a lot.
jeremys hard to explain sometimes because a lot of his actions and dialogue comes naturally since i can actually relate to jeremy a lot, personality-wise? a really good fact to throw out there is i don’t think jeremy’s the kind of guy who just goes for stuff sometimes. he has to sorta be hyped up by others imo. michael motivated him to sign up for the play, rich and michael both played parts in getting him squipped (michael in the aspect of “lets check this out and see if its legit” bc i doubt jeremy would have genuinely done that on his own).
which really means jeremy isnt the kind of guy to just… confess things, unless it’s built up enough (i.e. jeremys confrontation w reader in unlonely since it was a conversation he’d been thinking about for a bit). in canon, he didnt really… confess to christine without the help of alcohol (at the halloween party) or without other people building him up (voices in my head). 
im literally rereading jeremy fics rn because im trying to come up with a good way of describing him
extremely horny teenage boy. hormones suck. for anyone who writes nsfw: i dont see jeremy being incredibly kinky and sexual and dominant (god forbid) his first fucking time having sex. especially if its both him and the readers first time. sex can be clumsy. you can laugh during sex. but also sex smells. like… once you’ve smelled it, you fucking know it - its just a weird combo of sweat and bodily fluids. 
that last part was just a PSA for ppl.
lightweight boy. a lot bolder when drunk. thank you.
honestly if u have any questions abt jeremy, i can try to answer them more specifically but this is as general as i can get.
michael
not an uwu anxious depressed innocent baby boy uwu. remember that michael literally withheld the mtn dew red from jeremy because he wanted an apology. remember that michael wouldnt have been squipped because michael had been completely comfortable with who he is. michael likes his place. he doesn’t want to be cool and popular - he likes who he is. michael in the bathroom was a peak moment of michael finally letting go of emotions he’d been withholding - jeremy calling him a “loser” was the final straw that broke him. thank u this has been a psa.
a goofy boy. probably snorts when he laughs and im not projecting there what are you talking about-
okay, canonically: likes video games, likes retro shit (probably the kind of nerd who LIVES for arcades and record stores and vintage clothing stores even if he doesnt mix that into his personal style), very into music. there’s a lot you can do with this! 
imo he’s very caring? like. okay, yes he did withhold mtn dew red from jeremy - but michael still went through the trouble of finding and obtaining that in order to deactivate the squip. i think michael’s a fairly understanding dude, even if he has moments of anger.
just a very warm person. probably the kind of person who stops and makes sure people are okay when he notices they’re upset.
sometimes impulsive. sometimes very restless, imo. bouncy boy. 
like w jeremy - you can absolutely send me questions abt michael (or anyone tbh!) and i’ll answer them the best i can! im by no means an expert but ive got pals i can bother in order to help get a solid answer :3
christine
chriiistiiiiiiiiine, the love of my life. a gal w ADD! please don’t forget that! i personally hc that she got into a theatre as a way of like… sort of getting energy out since she’s fairly restless??? track girl christine….. also good
loves herself a lot tbh! like. in the show, its canon that she has stuff to figure out but i personally think christine loves herself and her body and is proud of who she is?
very friendly, very open, very passionate abt theatre! these are basic facts lmao
very sweet! very smart! she’s like... The Girl in all the movies that everyones like “oh no i love her” bc shes just a bubbly gal
writing christine is really hard to describe sometimes. like with all the characters, i write what feels right and sounds right to me and to others.
but like... to be honest, as long as you stay a bit happy and supportive and loving with christine - you’re on the right track.
jake
god - one of my favorite boys to write sometimes because there’s a lot to do with jake’s character
he’s the ultimate cool dude in high school. probably the kind of dude who would join a frat in college. handsome, popular, flirtatious - you fucking name it man.
sorta effortlessly popular and cool. there’s problems underneath - considering his family - but it’s hard to see that he has flaws when everything just comes so easily to him.
a very caring and sweet dude tbh. his friends mean a lot to him and he’s the kind of boy who carries your books and asks where you’re going and how you’re doing
he makes mistakes. he gets aggressive and protective and just angry physically - he did try to attack jeremy, albeit drunk, based purely on the idea that jeremy was having sex w chloe - so like... that’s a good thing to acknowledge
i said hes flirtatious and he is - without realizing it. someone probably has called him out on it and he’s like “sorry what?” bc he was caught up in talking to someone and not realizing that the dillinger charm never went off. because it never goes off. rip.
rich
GOD, my FAVORITE BOY, the LOVE OF MY LIFE, i love him.
squipped: aggressive. a bully. stinky. 0/10.
post-squipcident: getting better. sorta numb at first before happy, outgoing rich resurfaces because He’s Fine! Do Not Worry! but y’know like... he definitely has a lot of problems with what he did and who he was while he had the squip
a bit sensitive imo. easily upset on certain topics, easily angered on others. really misses his mom (i hc she died and his dad took up drinking as a coping mechanism and its mainly rich and his older brother relying on each other but thats just me tbh.)
rich is tricky to write when it comes to his home life. while i see rich’s dad as being a loud drunk, others see him as being physically abusive and so forth and - okay, that’s your decision, but please make sure you’re being respectful and you post trigger warnings because some people are in abusive homes and it’s not a fun thing to read. 
great sense of humor imo. flirtatious but in the more obvious “haha hey lets bone ;)” way. alternatively: flirtatious with squip, floundering a bit without it because all he knows is “haha hey wanna fuck” 
would probably fight a dick for his pals. rly just loves his friends even if he doesn’t show it.
chloe
chloe is a bit hard to write without saying “shes kind of a bitch” but like... she is and she knows it and she fucking owns it.
casting call: “ confident, crass, sexy, manipulative, and downright mean at times”
so like. she’s nowhere near bein a sweet angel baby uwu
has problems. explore them. she literally was down to fuck brooke’s boyfriend since jeremy was dating brooke yknow. part of it could be alcohol but like... dont ignore that fact. like. she probs needs to talk to both brooke and jeremy.
i think of chloe as someone who can see the potential in others tbh. gets slightly annoyed when people arent achieving what they could - but i like to imagine she gets it after a while since some ppl dont have confidence and such. 
yknow the kind of people that take charge when the situation calls for it? that’s chloe. she’s very much a leader. cunning, ambitious - she’s fucking ready.
brooke
more of an angel i guess? sweet, a bit insecure, and a little more caring. not very dominant in situations - tends to be more of a follower (as shown w her and chloe’s friendship)
very caring actually. she literally followed jeremy out and said “uhhh he was kind of a dick to women but i know u like eminem” upon his death in the show??? like??? she literally went to check on this boy.
imo she sorta needs to learn to be bolder. to not take shit. shes probably the kind of person who says yes to a lot of things even if they’re conflicting bc she doesn’t want to like... bother someone and make things worse
emotional, imo. fairly feminine.
its hard to keep describing sdfkjhds sorry
jenna
not popular. remember that she wanted people to be interested in her, which is why she gossips a lot
probably tends to overhear half of the gossip. other than that, i can see her easily finding shit out bc she has eyes Everywhere
bold, fairly extroverted, probably really fucking smart tbh. give her love. she deserves it.
thats both at me and everyone else. jenna rolan ily...
very much a big sister figure, post-squipcident. theres this kdrama i was watching where the main protag lives w a couple other girls and one of the oldest one of the bunch is very much a big sister figure that will call other people out on their bullshit because she knows protag isnt the kind of person to do that? thats jenna. and chloe, but mostly jenna.
probably the kind of person who wants to be helpful imo. she likes feeling useful.
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