#idk man i want it to be somewhere i can share i guess. this one doesn't go into the void

[prismatoxic]

this is going to be a very long and very personal post, but i've been thinking about it for a while. it's about my old FP i mention sometimes.

it's almost 4k words long, so. be prepared for that.

i got this question on retrospring a few days after paris blew up on me.

it is a very innocuous message. probably from a friend, maybe from a stranger; i won't know unless they tell me. it's the last question i ever answered on retrospring, though i have gotten harassment since that i did not answer, forcing me to shut off anonymous messages.

the exact timestamp is Sunday, May 29th. the last time paris messaged me was Tuesday, May 24th. i had to go into our old server to find that date. i don't have a good memory, but i also hate to look at anything from their old account. so, the message on retrospring: a seemingly insignificant event, but dated so close to the breakdown that is serves as a much more accessible reminder of how long it's been.

"about 1 year ago" is the immediately visible timestamp on the message.

2 years ago, paris was my best friend.

though, thinking about it, maybe that isn't true. it isn't what i called them. mikee is my best friend. i have never wanted to dethrone them from that spot. that term is special to me. (see, now, why my earlier post mocked myself wanting to be everyone's best friend? i won't even use the title for more than 2 people.)

no, i called paris my "queerplatonic partner" or my "platonic soulmate". qpp, usually. in hindsight it is so blatantly clear that i was obsessed, that i was attached in such an unhealthy way; i did not recognize myself as having BPD at the time. so, in the end, paris was not my qpp, nor any manner of soulmate. they were my "FP", or Favorite Person: a BPD term i would say is akin to "hyperfixation", but on someone you personally know.

i don't want to openly pass judgement on paris here, because that's not why i'm writing this. they're long gone and goading people to be as upset as i am serves no purpose. however, i will say this: they encouraged my behavior. my obsession. i believed, in a sense, that the pedestal i had put them on was in some way parallel to the one they had me on.

there was no pedestal under me, though.

paris and i met sometime in September of 2020. potentially on the 15th, as that is when i created our roleplay server. it was in a proship fandom server for a website i used to moderate. (i don't know if that site is ever going to manage to get finished, now, but i still have hope.) having just gotten very into souyo, i was hunting for roleplay partners, and said as much in some channel or another. paris, at the time, was playing P4G for the very first time. we got to talking. i made our roleplay server, and for two years, we would only ever talk therein.

today, there are 77 threads in that server for different roleplay plots. some are very long; others, very short. i was (and am) unable to focus on any one thing for any real length of time, but paris was accommodating. they were happy to do new plots as i came up with them, and they pitched their own from time to time. most of them are souyo; a handful are for our bancho triplet au; there are some akeshus, and one or two banpegos. we came up with a lot of ideas. a lot of aus. sometimes we'd redo an idea; sometimes we'd branch off from something we'd done before.

we roleplayed every day. i knew their schedule and they knew mine. our responses were quick and snappy, and if we couldn't keep up, we'd talk about it. we talked A LOT. very rarely on the phone or VC, usually in text. they do not live in the US, but we exchanged numbers anyway. we talked so much and so often that it drowned a lot of my other relationships out; i can be very single-minded in my obsessions. i almost lost several people.

i almost lost the love of my life.

in the summer of 2021, paris was taking a trip to the united states to get vaccinated for Covid, and they made plans to stop and see multiple people. in between other plans, they made just enough time to see me for 3 days. they were seeing their older friends for much longer, but i didn't question it, i didn't worry. i was so sure that i was so special to paris. i trusted them so much that the fact that they refused to allow me to interact with their core friend group just bounced right off of me.

in retrospect? ouch.

the visit was fine. paris finally convinced me that i was allowed to be disabled, that i was allowed to rely on support like the electric carts at stores and stuff. they had clashed with devot in the past, but the two of them got along fine for the visit. i was so thrilled; my two most important people, getting along? what could be better? the three of us had lunch and went to ikea. then i hung out at paris's hotel the other two days.

even when they were visiting their other friends, we were talking near-constantly. at some point, my obsession reached a very unfortunate peak, and i decided that if i was that obsessed, clearly i was in love with them. they were (and are, presumably) polyamorous, and i thought maybe i was too.

this isn't a part i want to talk about very much, because it's humiliating and painful. i tried to negotiate an open relationship with devot, and as a result, i almost lost him entirely. it was a very hard time for us, and it made me realize that i loved him way more than i could ever love someone else, even paris. if pursuing paris meant i would lose devot, then i simply wouldn't pursue paris. it wasn't until later that i would truly recognize that it was never romantic love; it was obsession, a need to be a bigger aspect of their life than i was.

paris knew my intentions and knew my ultimate decision. however that made them feel, i can't say. i don't know.

you see, towards the tail end of their trip, they suffered a familial tragedy and their return home was delayed. (or maybe they did make it home, but not for very long? my memory is fuzzy and i absolutely do not want to comb through our server to find it.) their family was in the US and that's where they needed to be for a while. i don't want to go into more detail than that; it was a very personal time for them. we did not talk a lot during it. they said, "i can't carry you right now".

maybe that was a clue as to how they viewed our relationship. i don't know. i assured them i wasn't asking for that, that i could carry them, but all the same they needed their space and i gave it to them. i had permission to send messages with the understanding that there would be no response, so i did.

in lamenting my mental state during all this, jesse (you may recall him being a best friend) suggested to me that maybe i possibly, perhaps, had BPD. he explained it to me and may have also directed me to some sources. it was eye-opening. it forced me to confront my actions and alter my behavior in ways i never realized i needed to do. in terms of paris, however, it came too little, too late.

this part of the story i have told before; i mean, i've told it all before, but i think i was more descriptive at this point. as paris recovered from the tragedy and began returning to normal life, they did so increasingly without me.

conversations in our server were short and uneventful. they were not up to roleplay, which i understood; i searched for other ways for us to connect.

they abandoned their persona 4 twitter and made a new one. they claimed persona 4 had become a trigger. i don't know why, and they never explained. it seemed that the biggest connection we had was now in the past, but i was so deeply, wholeheartedly invested in our relationship that i didn't let it get me down... too much.

the thing about the decline of our relationship is that it was not all at once. it was an accumulation of things, increasingly large signs that they were done with me. the persona 4 abandonment was one of those signs. another, how they were publicly interacting with their older friends, but no longer with me. yet another; they got into no man's sky, but when i finally got my hands on a copy to play with them, they stopped playing. or maybe they just stopped posting about it.

they did not post in our server unless i prompted them first. they did speak in our server with our mutual friend priam, but... just to talk to priam. ask them for advice on the french language, mostly, for a novel they had started to write. anything i said was quickly glossed over (not by priam, though; priam and i are still friends and i love him dearly).

this went on for 7 months.

i know that figure because just before i purged my vent twitter, i went back to the very first post i'd made about the situation. i posted a lot about it... almost every day. i also cried almost every day. i was trying to take it in stride, at least publicly, but in private i was falling apart. paris, who used to like every post on my vent twitter to let me know they were reading them, had stopped doing so. they also never asked me about any of the posts, which they used to do. at some point i figured they had most likely muted my account.

it doesn't feel like it was 7 months. it feels like it was much shorter. how could i have been in so much emotional pain for 7 whole months? i know i was hiding it from everyone as best i could, i didn't even tell my therapist; how could i have done so for so long? but my vent twitter proved the timeline. 7 months.

devot's not blind, of course. he knew something was up. i very rarely told him anything about paris, a point of contention between us. i knew he didn't like them. i didn't want to make it worse. however, i am nothing if not a paper-thin pane of glass when it comes to the phrase, "are you okay?", and eventually i had to tell him why i was so depressed.

he didn't know how to help. the only thing he could do was provide me with the matches; i had to burn the bridge myself.

he told me, early on in my relationship with paris, that they had told him something. (i didn't know they'd spoken outside of my personal server at all.) they told him that my obsession with them wouldn't last, that eventually i would find another interest and move on.

it was a gut-punch. our relationship meant everything to me, but they only saw me as an obsessed little fanboy, at least at the time. and it felt ironic, because they had moved on from me, not the other way around.

paris was (and presumably is) very serious about the privacy of 1 on 1 conversations. they never ever divulged things that happened between them and someone else that seemed in any way "personal." they expected this of others, as well; they told devot what they said in confidence. of course, his loyalties lie with me and absolutely not with them, so he told me anyway.

now, let's step back, for a moment. i want to try and paint a picture of what it was like being in my shoes.

i trusted paris. everything they had ever said to me was taken at face-value and believed. they had proven to me (or so i thought) that they always spoke their mind, were honest, and cared about me very deeply. i trusted them to tell me if something was wrong. in those 7 months, i asked them directly if anything was bad between us. they assured me we were fine. all the while, i knew they were hanging out with their older (real?) friends and generally ignoring me. i knew they had come to loathe the media that brought us together. i knew that they didn't want to play games with me, even their supposed favorite game.

i knew that they were shutting me out.

but paris never communicated this. they were visibly moving on without me, but i trusted them so much that i willfully turned a blind eye to it, waiting for the day they'd be "ready" to talk to me again. then devot told me about what they'd said, and finally, i started to split.

splitting is another BPD term, though it has its uses in general psychology as well. it is primarily a defense mechanism, mostly against The Big BPD Fear, abandonment. splitting is to see a situation and black and white and take a side. there was no longer nuance to the situation; there was paris is my friend, or paris is my enemy.

i was reluctant to let it happen. i resisted it. splitting and my natural empathy are extremely at odds with one another; i tried to convince my brain that paris was still my friend, that there were reasons for all of this. these were conscious thoughts, but the split was not a conscious choice.

i resented paris. either they apologized to me, and fixed things, or they didn't and that was that, it was over. very new to the concept that these were unproductive thoughts, i didn't know how to combat them.

i made a tweet on my vent twitter.

as i said earlier, i had come to assume that paris had simply muted my vent twitter; they had gone through so much, clearly they couldn't carry me, as they said... so i made a vague tweet that wasn't really vague, assuming they probably wouldn't see it anyway.

to paraphrase, as the tweet no longer exists: "you said once that i would get bored of you and move on, but you're the one who moved on from me"

they had not muted my twitter, they were just ignoring it. i know this because they finally messaged me first, and it was about that tweet.

the first volley of messages, sent in our roleplay server, was very clipped but mostly civil. they were disappointed in me for resorting to such a low tactic as to post a passive aggressive tweet instead of coming to them about my concerns.

(i had been having no luck getting them to talk to me; our last exchange in that server was nearly a month prior and lasted about 6 messages. perhaps you can imagine why i didn't think taking my concerns to them would work.)

i was not present when they sent these messages, and didn't get to say anything before they left the server. i did return to my computer not long after, however, and realized, with equal parts regret and relief, that it was over.

then they dm'd me, something they had not done since we very first started talking.

the dms were vicious. they had only gotten angrier after sending the first wave of messages and wanted me to know. devot had betrayed them by telling me what they said, and i betrayed them by repeating it on my vent.

i watched each message roll in, one after the other, numb. i considered replying. i never did.

they called me selfish. hungry for attention. everything was always about me. they said all that happened was they stopped initiating contact, and i had the nerve to claim it was abandonment? in the server, they said they expected me to tell them if i had an issue with them. in the dms, they professed to feelings they had never told me they had towards me.

they said they didn't know what they were even trying to accomplish, that i wouldn't even care. the messages stopped.

their twitter was abandoned; in time, their discord was as well. they never blocked me, simply... vanished. their friend list was wiped clean, their icon blacked out. i think it only didn't happen immediately because they needed to retract their presence from everything they modded and collaborated on. why not delete the discord? i don't know. i'll never know.

it's still there, black icon, no friends, no profile. our exchanges are intact. every other account i ever knew them to have is abandoned as well. if i had to guess, they don't go by "paris" anymore. they told me they had changed before, that "paris" was the longest-running identity they had. they loved being "paris". i'm sorry i ruined it, genuinely.

so, May 24th, 2022. a Tuesday; devot would have been off work. i don't remember if i cried. i think i was just sort of bitterly relieved. i think i said "good riddance" on my vent, after blocking their accounts.

that's the thing about defense mechanisms, i guess. they can work. yet, as time passed, the full weight of it all came bearing down on me. not just the end, but every part before it: the grief of it all, of losing paris, piece by piece until there was nothing left. them claiming that the "only thing" they had done was stop engaging with me first was laughable, but maybe to them, that really was the truth. i said it before: it was an accumulation of things. straws on the camel's back, you know how it goes.

it was never just about the roleplaying, or even the conversations. i tried so hard, for so long, to find something else we could do. i trusted them when they said we were fine. i trusted them when they told me they loved me. i trusted them in every way i could trust a person.

paris said once that they didn't believe in empathy. they said it was essentially "mind reading", that there was no way to know how another person was feeling, so how could you know you felt the same? hyper-empathetic, i stayed quiet. they were smarter than me, and more worldly than me; they probably knew better.

"about 1 year ago," says retrospring. i remember when it said only days. when it said a month. when it said 7 months. (that might be when i made my last post on the subject.)

shortly before that day, i finally told my therapist what was happening. it was my very last appointment with him; i'd been seeing him for 4 years. he was moving onto a private practice and could no longer take my insurance.

i said it had all began about a year after paris and i met, and he posited a theory: perhaps it was the honeymoon phase. those tend to last about a year, he said. maybe they had simply gotten bored. he did not say it unkindly (he was very good at his job, and i trusted him very much), but it did strike a chord in me. i thought maybe it was too simple an explanation, though, and after all, we were qpps. how could they just get bored?

i don't think we were qpps at that point. (arguably, we never were, but as a label we shared, i think they had agreed on it at least for a while.)

the explosion a scant few days later did not feel like boredom, it felt like vitriol. like resentment. it felt like they had wanted to say those things for a long time. but it had been 7 months since the possible end of this "honeymoon phase," so maybe. i guess i'll never know.

i have become very bad at keeping up with roleplay. even if it's the same short style, or even if they let me switch between ideas constantly. even if it's souyo. even if they're my friend. even if i'm having a great time. at some point, the mental block rises up, and even though i'm not thinking about paris, i know that's where it came from. devot is the only one largely immune to this effect; we still roleplay constantly, though i do at times fall into slumps even so.

i keep trying; i love to roleplay. it's my favorite hobby. but every time i try, it stops dead by my own hand. even if i'm actively trying to prevent it.

...but otherwise, i think i'm doing better.

my approach to relationships is different. i know what i'm capable of, if i get carried away. i'm careful, and i try to keep track of my emotions about a person. i also trust people a lot less, and fear abandonment a lot more, but i'm aware of it and trying to do something about it.

devot and i are doing much better; he doesn't have to compete with anyone anymore. i have a lot more time and emotional energy for him. i love him very much, and i'm so grateful he stuck with me. i'd be nowhere without him.

the roleplay server i made for myself and paris sits at the very bottom of my server list, tucked into a folder with the server we shared with priam. i don't want to lose the memories, but i never even look at them, so it probably doesn't matter either way. maybe someday i'll use some of those old ideas. i already did, with one; one of our roleplays was the basis for my oc nate, who i made well after paris was gone.

i do not ever want to see or speak to paris again. luckily, the feeling is most certainly mutual.

tomorrow, in about 12 hours, i will be speaking to my new therapist. he is the second i have had since the one i had for 4 years, and the first since then that i actually think i mesh well with. i think i'll tell him all of this. hell, i might even read the post to him. we'll see.

is there a point to all of this? kind of. mostly it's for me, a retrospective of what happened. it's also just informative for the people closest to me who i have likely not told everything in this much detail. if you read it and get something out of it, that's great.

it's been "about 1 year," according to retrospring. i think i like that metric better than the exact timestamps of paris's final messages to me that discord gives. the era of "tox and paris" burned bright and burned hard, and died out very quickly. it's probably for the best. i am healing, and i don't know if i'd have ever gotten better if they kept me around. there is a long way to go, but... i have hope, honestly. i think i'll be okay.

[balloooonn]

GRAVITY FALLS X EDDSWORLD !! ★

HEYA GUYS GIRLS NON BINARY NO GENDER ALL OF YOU HOW ARE YOU!!! (Long text aheadd!) (Plus grammatic isn't that good I think, apologizes for that)

So I can't stop combining my fixations together. I had to mix Eddsworld with Gravity Falls, since this last one revived haha. Sorry not sorry! As I said on Instagram, this is TOTALLY NOT an excuse for making eduarjon/jonuardo... Yeah, yeah totally not... Anyways, look at these guys, Eduardo as stanford, Jon as mcgucket!!

I have to say these are just my own, personal interpretations for the characters. It's totally OK if you don't think the same as me!! I made this for fun, and oh boy It was so fun while making it and deciding which characters could fit in each other's papers.

Let me show you some more!! :D

To my surprise (not really LOL), I searched if anyone made the same in the past, and I found out they thought exactly the same as me! Tom is dipper, Matilda is Mabel, Stanley is Edd and Stanford is Eduardo. Makes sense to me.

And I thought it would be funnier (and better!) if instead of normal Edd, it was Future Edd. Thinking about an old man like Future Edd, who just wants to die but has to maintain a work for 30 years just to re-meet his brother... That makes me laugh, for some reason. XDD Look at his face. Poor guy!

And for Bill, well, guess who is it here? Tord, because I couldn't think about anyone else! And it wouldn't make sense if he had a human design, because you know what kind of interdimensional, two-dimensional triangle without real physical form he is. Mm, maybe I'm wrong and he could actually have a human form. Should I try making a design for Tord Cipher later?

That one looks silly! He's just Bill, technically red, has a weird hat and Tord's typical band-aid at the right. Didn't know how to draw this one haha

That's all for now! I'm thinking about the other characters. For now, in my mind, Laurel is Wendy, but mmmmm I don't agree too much, idk. Diwi could be Soos, and I'd LOVE seeing Bing and Larry as the stupid police xD

And MAAAAAYBE an unpopular opinion and somewhat obvious?, But I'd love mixing Eddsworld and Gravity Falls characters personalities together and other things that make them unique, not just switching them fully. What I try to say is, for example, I imagine Edd having his obsession with cola as always, Eduardo with diet cola as well. Edd could have his lucky can, somewhere, and he's just as pathetic as Stanley, despite he's usually more pessimistic, dark and irritable than him sometimes. Tom still haves that sarcastic, rude? essence, but is fascinated with mistery and you know, the weird things that happens in town! And he still conservates liking ska bands. You know, some ideas like that!

Just sharing my silly ideas here. Hope you like it :3 ! Thanks for watching.

[whoyacallinyellow]

Could you do an alternative version of borrowed time but it's a happy ending? Like they meet again maybe a couple of months or years later and idk it's super fluffy (idk I loved ur Javier fic it made me cry so hard)

Borrowed Time II (.5)

Javier Escuella x F! reader

Spoilers: RDR1-2 events Content: 18+ mdni, high honor Javier, fluff, loyalty, canon typical events & violence, possible spelling mistakes, some google translated Spanish, (slight angst? sry couldn't help myself) Type: second pov (wc - 3195) / pc: my PS5 a/n: here's my mediocre yapping, anon! I believe someone suggested this to me before, so here we are :) (btw I took some writing inspo from my spotify playlist.)

Summary: Javier is left with nothing after the gang's demise. Enticed with returning to Mexico, he finds redemption within his loyalty to you.   

After being chased out of Beaver Hollow by the law, Javier found himself alone with Williamson. Somewhere in the sticks of northern Ambarino, where the risk of a grizzly finding them was higher than any lawman. 

Laying low and listening to Bill squaller on about Dutch for a month was about all he could stomach, Javier reckoned he liked Bill a lot more when he didn’t talk. 

As each day came to a close, one could guess where Javier’s mind wandered too. His bitter thoughts permeated on losing everything. Money, the gang, and you— Hell, the man didn’t know what to do with himself, considering you an extension of himself at this point. 

Where were you? Did you make it out okay? Were you hurt?

These were a couple of the many questions that swam in the sea of Javier’s head. 

“Are you still thinkin’ ‘bout that woman?” 

Bill’s words of disgust were often displaced through his racing thoughts, but he wouldn’t be wrong. You were all Javier had upon entering these foreign lands, now he possessed nothing but the rocks in his boots. 

The days would merge and turn into weeks, it didn’t take long for the plan of fleeing south to form in Bill’s lackluster head. Keen on the protection Javier could potentially bargain in Nuevo Paraiso. 

Javier knew he was a dead man returning south, under no circumstances was that a can of worms he wanted to open with—Bill Williamson, out of all folk. 

Besides, there was no man’s bidding Javier would consider doing to get the leverage Bill desired. But Bill’s ideas soon evolved into frustrated persuasion. 

“How do’ya know that woman wasn’t the rat, anyhow?”

Bill would rant about you, the delusions Dutch fed him would resurface, but soon be swallowed back down with the same loyalty Javier once held so close.

“My chica wouldn’t, I’m telling you, cabrón. She’d save your neck just as much mine.”

Perhaps not completely true, Javier’s apathetic statements held no power over Bill, but at least it stopped his ear from being chewed off. 

For all Bill was concerned, you were a coward just as much as the rest who left. Especially for plaguing Javier’s mind. 

Bill would resort to not just questioning your loyalty to the gang, but your loyalty to Javier all together. The bold claims would make Javier think back to Clemons Point. 

After a particularly nasty fight with Dutch, Molly sat on a nearby log as he sharpened his knife. He never knew what to say in situations like that, it was probably best he stayed out of it. 

“The way she looks at you…”

The timid words escaped her. Realizing there was no one else around she could have been talking too, he met her stricken gaze which glistened off the moonlight. 

“Huh?” 

He wondered, caught off guard by the illusive topic. Molly wiped her rosy cheeks before she tenderly spoke. 

“I wish I could look at Dutch the same.” 

Javier just stared at the tear-stained woman in pity, unsure what to make of her unanticipated words. 

That night's shift would give him plenty of time to think about it. Before eventually settling on giving you some extra attention. If it wasn’t obvious enough, he soon learnt that what you two shared was irreplaceable. 

There was no doubt to Javier that you loved him, every lead he went on, you’d listen for the horses. Ready to greet him by his hitching post for a kiss, or with small talk that was exclusive to you both.  

Javier would often get teased for the love you shared, perhaps some of it branched into jealousy. Not that he minded, the others knew you were off limits. 

So it was safe to say that Bill’s claims was one thing Javier didn’t take lightly. With curses spat, and threats thrown, Bill had no other choice but to eat his words. 

“Me ‘nd her go way further back than you and I.” 

Javier’s irate words would soon remind Bill where he stood— below you. 

That was Bill Williamson’s final straw for him to realize their parting was long overdue. 

“If you wasn’t a fool, you’d be comin’ with.”

Was the last thing he spat to Javier one cloudy morning, bedroll and guns thrown on his unkempt steed. 

You won't be seeing me again. 

Javier thought in vain. Watching Bill’s departure in silence, just as he watched yours— except their time was up. 

A cruel nightly cycle would leave Javier somewhere beneath the stars. The same night sky you’d lay him down gently in; he wondered if you were looking up at them too— or maybe you don’t think of him much anymore, just to get by. 

Dozing off provided no sort of relief, the same thoughts that ate him alive during the day showed no mercy for a night's rest. 

The dreams began after Guarma, and have stuck since. Most nights he would wake up confused, drenched in sweat, and frantically reaching for his gun belt only worn hours prior. 

Your sweet voice would unknowingly soothe his hurt, all while he dismissed your attempts of rebuilding the bond you once shared. Javier regrets the distance, but he’s not sure if he would ever be ready to talk about Guarma. 

Nonetheless, the terrible dreams always persisted, but managed to worsen after you left. They were so convoluted, Javier wasn’t sure which was a worse way to die; a watery grave, or succumbing to torture in a cage. 

Other nights, Javier would dream about the day he returned to you at Beaver Hollow, god only knew how long they were gone for. 

It was a rather gloomy day, at the end of the camp path was where he found you by your lonesome, as if you’ve been waiting for any sign of the missing men. Javier had seen better days, unshaven, wounded leg, and tattered garments that barely resembled the botched heist clothing he once wore. Javier approached you with a conflicted feeling of dread and relief, unsure of what to expect of you. But to the man’s horror, you crumbled before him. 

You were just as much of a mess as he was. A terrible feeling arose from within his ribcage and drifted up, he momentarily thought he was going to black out from the knot building in his throat. An unmanageable feeling in his legs had already begun to brew throughout the day, vibrating and distorting his ears, blocking out your sobs he created. A near breaking point was threatening to consume him— he didn’t even know what day it was, how could he not know?  

“You stupid bastard,” 

Fallen at his feet, he cradled you soon after his initial shock dissipated. 

“I know, I’m here now.” 

Javier could barely recognize the hoarseness of his own voice, the words felt foreign to say after being gone for so long. Hopelessness overflowed from within him, and seeped into your frame that he held. All he could do was shield you from the cruel world he created for you both on that barren dirt path. 

Your frantic pleas to leave would go unacknowledged, only to be substituted with soft hushes that were swept away in the trees. He couldn’t have just left, he had already sacrificed too much to quit now. Javier always swore Dutch would change your lives for the better. 

—

In the recent nights of Macfarlane’s Ranch, life was still. 

Javier’s dreams would evolve into a vessel of his old possession. Through bittersweet nostalgia, a buck would galavant by a stream, only to eventually stop and stand in triumph before fleeing into the distance. Those dreams offered Javier both temporary comfort and the humbling desolate nights he needed to return to you. 

While staring off into the plains, Bill’s idea would occasionally infatuate him. The uncut ties of Mexico were beckoning, it was only a day's worth of digging in. Javier wasn’t sure he was built out for the vaquero life anymore, but those old chains around his feet would pull him back down. 

Javier would eventually decide he wouldn’t watch the west die out, with false hopes of one last score followed by a life of freedom— he figured he already lost what made life rich. 

At the ranch, Javier would chat up the yokels, describing you to the best of his abilities. Which usually stumped him— you... well, you were just you. He’s never been apart from you to have to worry about your description— Javier was always there. 

Days passed without trace of you, it was probably best he left before the law caught wind of his excessive presence. 

It was hopeless, yet he prayed on the North wind that it would him to you. 

You could run the fool around in circles looking for your whereabouts. Hell, you could be in Timbuktu by now. Just like the day you left, the same hopelessness would creep upon Javier in those rare moments of disparity. 

Those moments would eat him from the inside out, that discomforting pit forming in his stomach was always enough to empty it on the ground. 

—

The aimless paths of New Austin was a place where the souls of saddle tramps go. 

Into the horizon of the blazing sun was where you sat, under the only tree seen in miles. Your shire grazed in between you and the lonely road, like a black flag it stood in the orange dirt. Not even it could escape the mourning which life embraced.  

You are not sure how much time passed you there, perched up under the tree, you’d watch the road. Studying the little silhouettes of cowpokes slowly growing as they approached periodically, all you thought of was Javier.  Hope overturned your grudge until they were near. 

Some of these men would simply tip their hat as they passed, others would offer you a ride to town, and a few just stared at you; their forlorn eyes scratched at the walls of your soul. As if they were trying to tell you something. 

Just as unfortunate as yourself, the nameless victims would soon be swallowed and spit back out by the blazing desert that awaited them. 

It wasn’t until a clear morning for Javier to stumble upon that fork in the road, leading to the tree where you sat; seeking the same retreat you did days ago. 

Sickeningly poetic; with no such weight on your shoulders, you seemed to have found the freedom Javier had been chasing all these years. Right front of him this entire time in the devoid lands of New Austin.

Usually well groomed, the man showed a five o'clock shadow, earning a more rugged demeanor his months away from the luxuries of camp. 

Lost puppy-dog eyes stared your way, being shielded by his bowler cap. The hair you used to run your fingers through was neatly tied back, and draping over his poncho. 

“Javier,” 

You greeted solemnly, your tranquil gaze greeting the man from where you sat. The thumping began in his ears as he staggered off Boaz, stiffly trying to shake the sudden feeling that your voice gave him. 

“hola amor.” 

He uttered awkwardly, approaching your newfound paradise underneath the old shady tree. 

“I reckoned you’d be in Tahiti by now.” 

You remarked bitterly, eyeing your lover from under the brim of your hat. He gripped the front of his gun belt, knuckles turning white and misshapen after all the years of abuse, the same hands that would be placed around your hips as he guided you through a busy town. 

Javier let out a rueful huff as he shifted his weight from foot to foot. It flustered him to be antagonized in such a low moment of his life, especially by you. 

But he simply did not possess the words and feelings begging to be shared with you— there were just too many. 

Expecting you to continue, there was a deafening silence. 

It was more than just the silence that plagued these western lands, but a sadness that often followed Javier everywhere he roamed, you could see it in his smile. 

The lands gave Javier a place to duck under his doubts and troubles for a time, like a buck stuck beneath the bottom wire. 

“It’s over,”

Javier’s voice came out as a whisper, thumb and finger caressing over the stubble on his chin. 

A conclusion which needed no further words, you understood. 

He never imagined it not meaning anything, but yet his brothers were reduced to the barrel he pointed. 

Small shines of orange bathed through the wilting leaves which provided your gracious shade. As you contemplated his words, a soft breeze accompanied the both of you. 

Finally arising to meet his frame, he towered over you slightly— lost along the way but finally found, 

you were no longer his partner in crime, nor a part of the Van der Linde gang— but just his chica he met all those years ago in Old Mexico, before the world was big.  

Javier knew he couldn’t make up for your lost time together, but for now, being with you would do. 

Without a word his arms wrapped around you and trailed down to the small of your back, the smell of rolled tobacco leeched off his poncho, a smell you’ve grown fond of over the years. As his cheek rested on the crown of your head, a different kind of silence was shared. 

“Oh Javi,” 

Your voice now both sorrowful and tender, it was impossible to hold a grudge against the warm honeypot eyes that yearned for you. 

“lo sé,” 

Javier murmured softly, giving into the relief that a calmer life brought. 

Behind where you rested revealed a testament the tree possessed. A bald spot in the maple-colored wood had bark torn away, faded letters with sap-filled groves were carved by previous visitors of the solitude tree: 

‘blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy’

Javier united your lips with a long awaited kiss, your cheeks softly being caressed by his thumbs. To him, it was like falling for you all over again. But this time, he wanted to do everything right. 

“Figured the law got you.” 

You mumbled one of your many worries after the man pulled away. Javier scrunched up his nose, cringing at your doubts. 

“Course not, nunca.” 

Eventually bidding your farewell to the tree, you joined Javier at Boaz’s saddlebags for what seemed to be a celebratory smoke. 

“They were hangin’ around that ranch, it’s not safe.”

You proclaimed, even the west had reminded you that a quiet cabin life was unrealistic. He hummed against the tobacco in between his lips, considering your words. 

“Where does that leave us?” 

Javier asked through an exhale. His sharp eyes squinted under the sun, staring at you in devotion. 

For the first time in a year, you made that choice together. 

With possessions on your shire and the both of you on Boaz, was where Javier liked you best. Feeling your heartbeat on his back always reminded him of Mexico, yet you were his home.

While riding, your hands would instinctively grasp Javier’s gun belt. Marking both the leather and his heart throughout the years you spent together. 

Later that day Javier’s buck would graze upon the open fields you crossed, only to scamper off once your horses made way. Its coat bright and shining off the sinking sun, he swore it’s the biggest one he’s ever seen. 

Expecting a comment, Javier thought maybe you dozed off, or perhaps he accidentally sipped his flask instead of his canteen. 

Aways up north yielded reassurance and prosperity, the man decided that tonight he would sleep instead of keeping watch, an unusual gesture he knew you both needed. 

Far away from the lands you once both resided, a comfortable wilderness separated you and any dangers— Maybe tomorrow night he would keep watch, but tonight, he just needed you. 

Javier’s shaking hands prepped a small flame, and smoothed out the creases of your bedroll that night. The same hands that would work a revolver effortlessly, and confidently beat in the faces of men in a moment's notice. 

but for you? they trembled. 

Fingers that had been busted more times than you could count were now fumbling through every button of your shirt, leaving a trail of his lips where his hands once touched. 

Nonetheless satisfied with these tasks, the crinkles beside his eyes would reflect off the flame as he flashed you a content smile. 

The fire crackled within your cozy makeshift camp, its orange flame lighting up Javier’s torso just enough to highlight the tones and scars on his chest. 

Javier was used to catching you staring, never failing to tease you about it. A mere husky chuckle and verbal warning would remind you of his diminutive willpower when it came to you.  

Joining you beneath the blankets, his body radiated with the warmth you craved. With a protective arm easing you towards him, your skin colliding with his was enough to wash all his hardships away. 

Your lips ghosted down his neck, causing a loose sigh to escape his lips. Javier cooed words of endearment, unsure if he deserved your regained affection. 

You felt him tense around you as your lips traveled down to his adam’s apple and the large horizontal scar that covered it. 

“lo siento,”

He muttered softly, finally getting the long awaited words out— It was for a lot of things, that scar was just one of them. 

His breath hitched and ran down your bare skin, your torso being consumed by his restless large hands. Only you reminded Javier of his scars, usually in a way of gratification, having earned them throughout your time together. 

But that healed slit along his throat brought the man waves of embarrassment, Javier was thankful for your love nonetheless, and you for his loyalty. 

With belated love and words begging to be said, Javier knew his lips had a lot of catching up to do. But tonight you both needed rest. 

As if it was tradition, he ensured you found your peace first, maybe it solaced the man knowing you were safe within his arms. 

Gusts of winds whistled through the trees, causing them to sing a song made just for the two of you. His coarse hands ran down your sides before settling at your waist, once again basking in what he could have lost. 

Up yonder was where the starry night sky shined just for him to see you. The constellations washed away his most honorable sins, and extended the borrowed time you both had been lent years ago. 

The blanket you shared was pulled over your shoulder, ensuring your undisturbed rest. Javier’s gentle lips ghosted over your cheek for just one more kiss goodnight. 

You were long asleep, closely tucked within the arms of the man you called home. Yearning to chase the relief your shared nights provided, Javier’s eyes grew heavy. Through a gentle state of somnolent, his prideful buck accompanied him in the meadow it frolicked. 

Whispered words slipped into the night and greeted his slumber. 

“te amo.” 

~

[inactivewattpadauthor]

Windwolf x Adopted Reader: Special Guest

Idk... ignoring all the other things I wrote on them, Nightwolf and Fujin would be great fathers. They can adopt me idc

Context: Nightwolf is already your guardian. He introduces you to Fujin. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Headcanon Note

Fujin is pansexual. Nightwolf is demi-sexual.

This one is canon: Fujin likes sponge cake. Important fact, I promise.

Also canon but a lot of people imagine otherwise, Nightwolf is taller than Fujin. (6'4 to 5'10) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Normally, anyone would find the sun peeking through their light curtains pretty warming when they are in bed. Especially at this time of brunch.

But not you. You laid incorrectly in bed away from the sunlight with a blanket thrown over your head, mind possessed by the tablet device that was gifted to you by your caretaker.

When you first received it, you were rather surprised to hear it did belong to him as he may or may not have been a hacker when he was younger. He definitely didn't seem like the type.

What sucks is he refuses to teach you anything in that genre, so now whenever you play some game and a bot you call a teammate throws, they get away with it.

You didn't care too much anymore since your gaming drive died down a little. You were mostly on your tablet for a while to scroll through the media and read cheesy things that you know you'd be damned if Nightwolf discovers it.

"Y/n?" You hear him knock at your door gently.

"Yeah?" Your attention was provoked from the screen, and you stopped kicking your feet in the air to see what your savior wants.

Opening the door, he peeks in to observe you for a bit. You can see the man has gone somewhere earlier this morning, hence by his usual red war paint around his eyes. Guess you just didn't hear him go out since technology keeps wasting your senses, with a bit of sleep deprivation, but you weren't doing much to fix that.

"Good morning." Nightwolf says, seeing you shielding yourself from the day with your covers. "Sleep well?"

Glancing up at him, you just shrug.

"You didn't sleep yet, did you?" He sighs.

"Nope."

"Right. Anyways, there's someone I want you to meet." Nightwolf tells you.

Your face already sulked. New people? Disgusting. "Can you tell them I just said hi?"

Nightwolf sighs and opens the door more, leaning against the frame. "No, Y/n. I know you aren't one to be around people, let alone meet, but it's someone special to me."

His explanation somewhat connected with you, but you didn't fold quite yet.

"Please? Just this once. I don't ask you for much, but it would mean a lot if you did."

Gods, it's true. You'd feel like more of a shitty person if you reject his request like you do most of the time.

Sighing, you turned off your tablet and set it aside. Removing the blanket from your messy hair, you sat up. "Fine. Just give me a moment."

The strong warrior smiles at your acceptance and thanks you before closing the door and giving you the time you need to fix yourself up.

When you stepped out your safe space, you refer to as your room, Nightwolf waited for you, offering his hand. Without thinking much, you took it despite feeling too old to hold hands with someone as a parent. But, not admittedly, you just feel safe with Nightwolf.

"Be aware, they are much more outgoing than you, and I did tell them you're rather shy. I still hope you could get along, though. I think you'd like them." Nightwolf shares.

You only were thinking on who it is. Maybe someone from his tribe? A girl, maybe? You didn't care for a mother figure as long as she didn't coddle too much.

Your father figure brings you to the living room, and let's go of your hand. You stand a bit awkward as you examine who the guest is.

It was a man. What catches you off guard is his glowing eyes. It's not the most abnormal thing you've seen. You'd ask Nightwolf to summon his animals so you could play with them. But you weren't really expecting someone that barely has visible pupils.

He also has a tattoo in his shoulder that glows up as well, which was pretty cool to see. But his eyes... you really should stop being into creepypasta.

"Fujin. This is Y/n. I... saved her from the Black Dragon." (mm lore) Nightwolf presents you, placing comforting hands on your shoulders. "And, Y/n, this is Lord Fujin. He's a close friend of mine."

A lord, huh? That explains the eyes.

Fujin walks to you two, with a very friendly smile. "Why, hello, Y/n! Nightwolf has spoken of you a lot! I'm very pleased to finally meet you." He extends a hand.

There wasn't much you had to say, but you hesitantly took his hand, shaking it. "Thanks... Nice to meet you, too... Lord Fujin- oh!"

You get pulled into a sudden embrace, but you didn't respond negatively to it. You glanced back at Grey Cloud, and he was rather unexpected of it, too. However, you knew the god didn't mean harm. He's just happy to meet someone close to his dear Nightwolf.

"You can just call me Fujin, little one. We are both close ones of Nightwolf, are we not?" He pulls away and pats your back, looking down at you with such a comforting aura.

"Right." You look away, getting flustered.

Nightwolf finally steps in and leads Fujin to the kitchen. "Care for any tea?" You could hear him ask as they both go to another room. You take the chance to scramble back to your room and process what just happened.

---Hour Time Skip brought to you by... idk Geras wearing weave or smth---

An hour gone by, and you could hear chatting at the front door. You open your door to take a peek. It appears Fujin was about to leave.

Contrary to what you thought earlier about meeting new people, the white-haired man was quite interesting to you.

Turning around and spotting you, Nightwolf gestures silently for you to come and say bye to the special guest. You listen and approach them, still looking at Fujin.

"It was nice meeting you again, Y/n," Fujin bows to you. "Maybe next time I come by, we can spend time together! I can bring you a gift too- do you like clouds? Or sponge cake?"

Wow, he's very energetic for you. You look at Nightwolf for some type of guidance.

"It's up to you." The shaman says. "You can trust him."

"I'm okay with whatever you give me... or if you want to hang out a little, I guess." You shrug.

"Great!" Fujin then looks at Grey. "I'll see you soon when I break from my duties again."

Thoughts began brewing your mind as you noticed the change of tone in Fujin's voice, and the very sincere look he gives  Nightwolf. Especially the hand placement on the shoulder, your caretaker's hand placing over that one.

Fujin left, and you stood with Nightwolf trying to process things. "'Close friend', huh?" You say with sarcasm, raising your eyebrow at the tall man.

Nightwolf sighs, yet nods. "Indeed. 'Close friend.'" ~~~~~~~~~~~~

[mutable-manifestation]

Summer Vacation Summoning Shenanigans 2

idk when the batcave gets a Laz pit but the answer here is ‘not yet’ bc reasons

***

By the time Danny’s duplicate returns to him, Robin has finished - very thoroughly - tying up his captive ninja. And was now staring him down.

Red had moved to texting someone after ensuring Danny was belted in and putting the plane on some kind of autopilot - which, very cool.

He hadn’t been bored, though, looking over the plane interior with glee. 

While the exterior design was…a bit much, the inside was sleek and high-tech. It was no rocketship, but going over which controls were similar and which differed and trying to guess what they all did was plenty entertaining.

He was less than half-way through them when he re-merged with his duplicate. 

Luckily, Red and Robin were still occupied by that point, giving him time to focus on sifting through the memories.

He tries to stifle his laughter, disguising an escaped snort by pretending to cough into his fist.

Red apparently chooses that moment to be done with his phone (and damn, he sent some poor sob a book).

“Sorry about that; I had to update Batman.”

Danny let himself laugh at that.

“Bat-man? Not, like, Birdman or something?”

“Nope, the bat himself. Speaking of which; I was hoping you’d be willing to answer some questions?”

Robin chose that moment to plop into the seat next to Danny, who looked at him in askance.

“His vitals have stabilized; the tranquilizer has fully kicked in. There is no more need to worry about a surprise escape; by the time he awakes we will be back in Gotham.”

Danny hummed.

“So like, are you just dropping him off first? Or was the ‘taking me home’ thing a play on words that actually just meant ‘kidnapping me take 2: electric boogaloo?’ I mean, you don’t even know where I live; my place could be closer to here than to Gotham.”

“Your accent resembles nothing of Nanda Parbat,” Robin says.

Red picks up after him. 

“No, no, we’re taking you back to your home,” he clarifies, shaking his head and x-ing his arms. “You’re from somewhere in the mid-western United States, right? Gotham is the first US city we’d hit flying this path.”

“Illinois,” he answers, squinting in thought as he searches his memory for a ‘Gotham’ or a ‘Nanda Parbat,’ which, ha, ‘Par-bat.’ “I take it we’re somewhere in, like, Europe or something?”

The Robins share a look.

“Where is the last place you remember being before you were kidnapped?” Red asks.

“Illinois,” Danny shrugs, settling back in his seat. “Anyway, you can just drop me near Chicago or something and I’ll take it from there.”

Red huffs a laugh. “No need for that. I gave Batman your name and description; he’ll have coordinates to where you need to go in no time.”

“Well, that’s…” ‘Inconvenient,’ he thinks to himself, hoping for the first time that this is actually a different universe so he doesn’t have to come up with an explanation to cover for how he somehow ended up abroad without including the whole ‘being summoned’ thing.

The last thing he needs is to give them a reason to put him through the Ghost Catcher.

“...nice,” he settles on. Unconvincingly.

“Do you know why you were taken?” Robin presses.

Danny opens his mouth to answer, but pauses.

“Yep!” he concludes, eyes crinkling with his smile. “I’ll even answer that question if you answer one of mine first.”

The smaller Robin narrows his eyes suspiciously, Red asking “What question?”

He turns away from Normal Robin to look at Red Robin.

“What’s up with the ‘flying things’ theme?”

Red slow blinks, Danny can practically hear the dial-up noise.

He was probably expecting worse in exchange for ‘hey what does the murder club want?’

The smaller Robin answers while he is collecting himself.

“The Robin title is inherited, passed down from the first. It is a reference to the costume colors. Batman chose his name and costume as a symbol of fear, to intimidate the criminals of Gotham.”

“Oooooh, so it’s like a gang thing!”

Red Robin makes a choking noise.

“What!? NO! I- that- we’re heroes! Batman is a founding member of the Justice League!” He manages, face painted in disbelief. 

Robin, for his part, remains silent - though a brief glance out of the corner of his eyes reveals a pinched expression.

“Oh, right,” he nods along, deciding he is definitely not still in the same universe. Sweet, no worries about hiding the ghost powers then, especially since heroes were apparently enough of a thing to have some kind of support group or something.

“So does that mean you have bird-powers?”

“No,” Robin says. “And you haven’t answered my question yet.”

“Ah, right, Ra’s’ thing. He said he was trying to summon the ‘Lord of the Dead,’” Danny does air quotes along with the far-too-pretentious-title. Honestly, ‘Ghost King’ was bad enough.

“The ‘Lord of the Dead?’” Red echoes. “Summon? As in, with circles and blood-sacrifices and magic.”

“Yep,” Danny pops the p. “I wouldn’t worry too much though. He’ll probably be distracted trying to un-kidnap this guy and deal with whatever had his other guys running around like chickens with their heads cut off for a while yet.”

---------------------

Tim had left a call open to the batcave so the rest could listen in, and after Danny’s incredibly alarming answers about Ra’s’ current goal it was no doubt exploding with texts and suggestions in the groupchat. Good thing he muted it fully.

He feels a bit bad interrogating the guy, but time and memory don’t go well together. People often dismiss as unimportant things that are actually the key to breaking a case; the more thorough their questions, the more likely they prompted a memory that would give them the answers they needed.

Unfortunately, Danny didn’t seem to know much.

“Did Ra’s say anything about who this ‘Lord of the Dead’ is? Or why they were trying to summon him?”

“Nope!” Danny smiled. “Nothing about - who aside from the title, of course - or why, just that they did want to summon him. If you guys don’t have bird powers, what powers do you have?”

“We are not enhanced beyond what the average healthy human could achieve, though we are all highly trained in combat - some more than others - and skilled in detective work. We rely on skill, research, and preparation.”

And on and on; Danny giving uninformative answers then asking a question for each they’d asked on their ‘turn,’ and them giving carefully vague answers of their own.

One consolation is that he didn’t seem bored. 

For someone who claimed to have woken up less than an hour ago on the wrong side of the planet he’s just…relaxed. Calm. Seemingly unaffected, down to his microexpressions.

No signs of shock.

Of course, he’d treated the Lazarus Pit as a kiddie pool. 

And despite his words, he’d shown no recognition at the mention of the Justice League, and around half of his questions thus far had been about them.

Clearly something was up with him; whatever it was would probably explain the self-assurance.

He’d escaped from the League before they’d even known he was kidnapped, afterall. Tim and Damian really only solved the final hurdle for him. Even with most of LoA distracted with something, it was still impressive that he’d manage to slip whatever restraints and guard they’d undoubtedly had him under.

Which is, of course, when Damian asks.

“How did you manage to escape?”

Danny shrugs.

“Have you ever seen that thing that coyotes do where they get their leg stuck in a beartrap or something and they gnaw it off to escape?” he says, expression unmoved.

“You are a meta, then,” Damian concludes while Tim just stares at Danny in horror.

At that, Danny’s expression changes. 

“A what?” he squints, uncomprehending.

“A meta - or metahuman - is someone with a meta-gene, which grants them superpowers. Like how Flash is so fast: that’s his meta ability,” Tim says. “You still had all your limbs when you…dove into-”

“Wait, wait, back up,” Danny interrupts. “To be clear: I did not gnaw off a limb. That was meant to be a joke. So Flash is a ‘meta.’ Is that, like, common?”

Tim was beginning to suspect this guy either had memory loss, was an unlucky alien who only landed recently - just in time to get kidnapped by the League of Assholes - or was just really sheltered.

He’d also suspect some kind of Pit demon, given where and how they found him, but he has so far been nothing but polite and cooperative - if a bit…chaotic. In terms of questions he’s asked.

“I’m kind of surprised they bothered to form a group if there are so few people with powers,” Danny mused after Damian filled him in on the statistics. “Especially if most of them are as minor as you said.”

“Even just one person with strong powers can spell disaster if left unchecked - the League aids response times in that regard. Besides, it’s not like metas are all there is to pay attention to - there are plenty of villains without meta abilities, intergalactic politics to deal with-”

“Intergalactic? Are you guys doing things in space!?”

Danny was suddenly very close, nose just a hair's breadth from touching Tim’s own.

He swallows quietly.

“Ah, occasionally? G-green Lantern is. A Green Lantern. They’re basically space cops, so that’s…more his thing. Though a previous Robin did have to deal with a Gordanian-Tamaranean conflict affecting a Tamaranean ally - Starfire.”

Danny leans away - just a bit - as he speaks, seemingly basking in the information like a cat in a sunbeam.

“You’re allies with an alien? Ancients,” he breathes. “There are aliens. So cool.”

“Tch, of course there are. I already informed you of Superman,” Damian huffs, causing Danny to whip towards him.

“Superman is an alien!?”

They’d also mention Batman and Superman being close allies, which apparently inspired Danny to let loose the sea of questions he’d been holding back.

“What’s his species called? Is Superman a translation of his actual alien name? You never showed me a picture; does he look human or is he totally different? What’s his planet like? Have you been there? Is he comfortable in Earth’s atmosphere or does he have to use environment-adjusting equipment? Or is it well suited to him? Is that why he has powers, actually? Because the difference in planet allows him to thrive? Or are they an inherent trait in his species? What’s his culture like? You said Green Lantern was ‘A Green Lantern;’ is he an alien too? Or is that the space cops’ names? Are most space cops aliens? What about the Tamaranean person - Starfire? And the Gordanians? Where are they all from are they all from the Milky Way or are some extra-galactic do they allhaveenvironmentalneedssimilartoorlessthanhumanscantheysurviveinthevacuumofSPACE-”

---------------------

Once they get Danny to pause for breath - which takes an impressively long time - they promise to answer his questions with a gentle reminder that they’re supposed to take turns asking things.

If Danny was cooperative before, he’s downright eager now. He listens with near-religious awe to every answer they gave.

When it’s their turn to ask a question he becomes unnervingly still and stares with an intensity that has Tim half-concerned they’ll catch on fire for every second they aren’t talking - though luckily between himself and Damian the pauses are minimal.

His answers are both more detailed and more focused. 

If they ask if he saw any information about the summoning ritual, he only mentions catching a glimpse of ‘the summoning room.’ Asking what the room looked like nets a description of the columns’ styles and the general vibes, asking what things he saw in the room got them an exhaustive list, but if they wanted further detail they had to ask specifically about the item in question.

He had an awful lot of details for a guy who only ‘caught a glimpse.’

He also refused to give them details about what the circle looked like because ‘for all I know you could be lying about everything you’ve said so far and planning to use me in your own ritual as a sacrifice to summon the Lord of the Dead.’

He and Damian spend a few of their turns opening the internet on the batplane’s front window and showing him some articles and videos about themselves, Batman, Gotham, and the JL to get them to trust him.

He eventually says he’ll describe the circle to them if he can meet an alien. 

Appealing to his sense of self-preservation by explaining the information would increase their odds of stopping Ra’s does not help, nor does appealing to his sense of ‘helping others.’ 

It’s an introduction or the highway.

Not the worst outcome, given how many aliens they know.

The rest of the flight is spent like this.

---------------------

Danny is having quite possibly the best day of his half-life - and life, if he’s being honest.

Aliens! The universe he’s in has aliens! And he gets to meet one! Probably!

If Ra’s requests something that isn’t outright evil he’s honestly, genuinely considering granting it (in exchange for something, of course. Having a cool home universe is enough for maybe a deal, not for a freebie. Maybe he can ask for a regularly scheduled summoning to talk to the aliens? And all of the information Ra’s has and will ever have on aliens? Ooooh).

Not that he’s going to make it easy on him, of course.

And wow he is loving the information exchange with the Robins - they’re telling him about aliens and he just has to, what, describe a chandelier? A book? His opinion on the pool?

They ask a surprising number of questions about the pool. 

He gets twin dead-eyed stares when he asks if they’re thinking of installing a bird bath - yeah it cost him an alien question but there are only so many pool-related questions he can answer while ignoring the joke hanging right there. 

He had to.

When they finally land and exit into what looks like the inside of a high-tech barn, he can’t help but think they might just be sour that they didn’t think of it first.

“Not to be judgy, or anything, but I’m not really getting cave vibes here,” he comments as he descends the final step from plane to floor, looking up once he’s clear to watch the roof finish folding closed over their heads.

“Because this isn’t the cave,” an unfamiliar voice says, melting out of the shadows in a corner to reveal a purple-cloaked woman.

“Wait, let me guess: Purple Robin? Purple Bat? Peafowl?”

Purple snorts good-naturedly and shakes her head. 

“All good guesses, space cadet, but wayyy off base. It’s Spoiler, non-flying thing name haver extraordinaire.” She dips into a dramatic bow, eyes crinkled in what, even without her mouth visible, was obviously a grin.

“Ehhhh…” Danny tilts a hand side-to-side. “Spoilers can technically fly if you crash a car hard enough.”

“By that logic everything can be considered a flying thing,” Robin frowned.

“Well the Earth is hurtling through space at around half a million miles per hour chasing the sun through an endless void with no ‘ground’ in sight….”

“Well!” Red Robin ends the brief silence that had inspired. “We should probably head to the batcave, but for security reasons we can’t let you see how we get there-”

“Hey, does this smell funny to you?” Spoiler asks, holding up a bottle of what was almost definitely chloroform.

He can see Red and Robins’ mask eyes widening (somehow) and makes the split second decision to lean forward and take a deep breath of the bottle being held just high enough for him to stick his nose over it.

“Citrusy,” he says before pretending to fall unconscious.

***

*Timmy Turner’s Dad’s voice* “I’m respecting reality by acknowledging that chloroform doesn’t work like that but asserting my authority as The Author by making it work like that anyway”

Tags:

@bathildaburp, @cannibalisticphantom, @thegatorsgoose, @skulld3mort-1fan, @starmee-lodurrson, @jotaroslooseeyebrowhair, @sometimesthingsfallapart, @osnii, @coruscateselene, @jaytriesstuff, @seraphinedemort, @ver-444, @impulsiveasshole, @meira-3919, @apointlessbox, @gunebugfic, @starsblader4rise, @screamingtofillthevoid, @may-rbi, @tired-yet-awaken, @readerzj, @lazy-bouqet, @the-church-grimm, @astirdreaming, @bun-fish, @punderfulfandoms, @ispyblu, @phoenixdemonqueen, @cutelittlebeanie, @we-ezer, @treepainting, @jerithe, @all-eyes-no-dragon, @addie-lover-of-stories, @overtherose, @akavincent, @nappinginhell, @naluforever3, @icepopstar5105us, @itsloveleo, @spooky-fm

Sorry if I missed anybody anyway here's part 2!

[kanmom51]

JK live 5 June 2023 7:03 am KST

Cr./ The creators of the media used in this post.

First thing first - we address the elephant in the room. JK cut his hair!

It's only a trim. Keep telling yourself that. Only a trim.

Breath in, breath out...

But I'm telling you, if he shows up soon with another "just a trim" I'm going to literally lose it. 😭😭

Now after we addressed that are we ok to move on? K?

This my peeps is a close to 2 hour live. I ain't gonna and can't talk about every single thing this man talked about. Not when JK was in such a chatty mood. Nope. No can do. In any case you should be running to watch this, cause the man is friggin adorable, and no matter how many times I say it or describe it, which I definitely will, it's no comparison to seeing him yourself.

JK is happy.

This is the second live we can see that figurative jump in his step.

The man is super chatty, sharing stuff that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't supposed to share (or another theory is that he's done this so his bf doesn't have to talk about that certain thing he promised us he will talk about in his next live...). He's also being an utter brat, and I am loving every single moment of it.

Figures.

I'm putting this here now.

Why, you ask?

Because you remember those Feb 2023 lives? You know, the ones where we felt something was off? When I said it looks like he was struggling, he's off quilter for lack of structure and support?

Well my friends, it looks like our JK is back. With his more or less set schedule. With his Jiminie by his side to be his anchor and his catalyst all in one.

Did I tell you yet how much I love this man?

shhhh, JK wants to set up a movie date with us. Don't tell the company about it though...

The whole conversation is happening but it's literally him just thinking out loud, hilarious.

JK brain power. That man is something so so special. The time and effort it took him to try to figure out what time he will be eating lunch when his dermatologist appointment is at 11 am and he has a workout straight after that. He's hilarious.

It was 1:30 pm. That's what his final result, btw, lol.

Mingyu and the Super dance challenge

I had a whole thing written in my vanishing post about Mingyu and how JK said he'd called him but that he's not serious. Speculating if this will ever come to pass.

Well, looks like JK decided to take things into his own hands now, didn't he?

JK caught him by surprise, so much so that Mingyu did the challenge in his socks. My guess is that JK is telling us all, including the higher ups, that doing this, dance challenges, is going to be on his terms. When he wants. Where he wants. With whoever he wants.

JK being JK

I love how JK tells it how it is.

He reads through the comments, says army is cute and will never change. interacts with comments. Answers questions. But he also isn't afraid to call bull, lol.

For example, loved his reaction to the comment "I'm not going to breath until you read this".

Being savage without being savage, lol.

The rainy day fight

D'ya think I wouldn't talk about this one? No way, no where, no how.

Do we ignore the fact that JK literally scrolled back when seeing the comment?

Nope. I don't think so.

JK saw the comment just run by, and he scrolled back cause he wanted to see it properly, and once he read it, well, of course, answer it. Idk what caught his attention there. Was it the account name? I saw talk and an actual clip showing that from the name it was a clear Jikook account. But then again, saw somewhere else mention that might not be true. This is one I'm not 100% sure about, so will leave it open with a question mark.

Anyway, that smile when reading the comment.

That last one was him reading the comment, not him commenting on if JM is or isn't doing a live.

But in saying that, JK with that smirk,

knew that JM ain't gonna be telling no rainy day story, so he might as well, lol.

The difference between JK describing it and JM, lol.

JM's short version:

JK's is a more lengthy one, although at the end of the day, if you pay attention, you realise that JK didn't tell us what they actually fought about, or more so, what was it that he said to JM to have JM tell him he's on his own from there on...

So, let's talk a bit about the fight, why don't we?

First thing first, JK puts a timeline on the fight, it being during their trainee days. That gives us a clearer time stamp, which would be anywhere between mid 2012 to a day before debut, which is 13 June 2013.

Now, you may ask why is it that JM was so off with the dates? And more so, why didn't JK correct him?

To the first question I say that this fight was way more impactful for JK than it was for JM. JK was the one who wrote a song referencing it. JK is the one that brought it up to start with during Festa 2020, and it took JM a few seconds to register and remember it. He was kind of caught off guard and could have just messed up the on the spot math, or he could have forgotten exactly when it took place.

To the second question I say that possibly JK didn't want to correct JM in front of the cameras, that the timing was less important for him to talk about and more so the fight and the making up. Or, he didn't want to correct him to stop the flow of JM's story telling, or just didn't want to correct him in front of the others, or he did the math wrong too, lol.

Now that we have cleared up the timeline, pre-debut days, let's talk about the fact that the other members clearly did not know about this fight, including Hobi.

This was a fight that happened between the two. Something that had a profound impact on JK. So much so he referenced it in a song. So much so he brought it up to apologise for it once again in during the Festa dinner.

But as impactful as it was for JK, I feel like it didn't have the same affect on JM. Not that it wasn't memorable, because it was, we saw it was, but it wasn't life changing for him as it was for JK. Yes, I think it was life changing for JK.

So, what are my thoughts about why this fight was so etched in JK's mind, so carved into his consciousness, so much so he literally wrote a song about it (that is a hill I am willing to die on) and brought it up in Festa 2020, years later, with so much water under the bridge since then?

All while I don't think it meant the same to JM? Yes he remembered it. Yes it was emotional for him. But it wasn't as impactful as it was for JK.

I am willing to go as far as to state that I feel that this fight was teenager JK's eureka moment as to how important JM was to him. And please do not get me wrong, this is not about JK crushing on JM or realising he is attracted to him. Not then. Not yet. This is way back in 2012-13. But this is about JK realizing that he needs JM. That he wants him by his side, he wants him close as a close friend, as someone to look up to, someone to help guide him, someone to care for him, someone to look out for him, someone who can understand him.

Do we remember this?

Because of Still with you, because JK brought this up 7 years after it happened, because of JK's facial expressions while talking about it, this was a truly meaningful moment for him, in my opinion perhaps the moment where their friendship shifted for JK or more so solidified.

You know what they say? When you think you lost someone is also when you understand just how important they are to you. It takes losing them for you to realise just how important they were to you.

As for JM, well he always had a soft spot for JK. His behaviour through this also shows us that. He didn't scold JK in front of the others, respected him enough to take him aside and try to talk to him. Although he walked out, he answered JK's phone call and straight away went into carer mode. He forgave him pretty much immediately and was almost as emotional as JK was (crying hugging). So yes, it was a fight to remember (he does once JK reminds him of it) but it wasn't as impactful on JM as it was on JK because maybe for him it didn't change the way he felt about JK, while for JK it was, as I mentioned, a moment of clarity, of understanding.

Lee Mujin's Limousine Service April Fool's day - the JM episode.

Well, the episode shows up on JK's YT. Surprise surprise? Not really, lol.

JK's initial statement is that he should watch that...not that he hasn't seen it yet. And why the distinction you may ask? Well, because his behaviour during this was a little puzzling. On the one hand he does things like FF the episode and avoids Lee Mujin calling JM oppa, and you can't think that this was unconsciously done. Or he imitates JM down to the nose touch and it feels like this was not the first time he's seeing this. All while on the other hand his reactions at the start of the episode seem to be of someone watching the episode for the very first time.

Is it possible that JK's oh so accurate imitations stem from him knowing JM oh so well? Down to the nose touch? Of course it is. I mean those two are fully in tune. We've seen so many moments where it's like this is the same person, same brain. So, definitley a possiblity.

Either way, the look on his face and his reactions never lie when it comes to JM.

JK sings Like crazy with JM.

First time he does this. Watch Like crazy with us and join in on the singing. And it's so beautiful.

Do we talk about it? Why it's taken him so long to do this?

Well, obviously I can't know for sure, but I do think that this one is an emotional one for JK.

This song is about JM's struggles during the pandemic. He told us so. Struggles that JK clearly witnessed. Struggles that JK clearly experienced with him. Struggles that JK probably also tried to help him cope with. Obviously this was not an easy time, and if this song was a type of release for JM, for JK it might be reliving something that is still weighing on him. A reminder of helplessness. Of not being able to help JM through. A reminder of the coping mechanisms. A reminder of not being enough.

But that isn't to say JK doesn't love the song. You can see how it does make him emotional, closing his eyes as he sings "you and I" and in several other moments during the song, including towards the end.

And maybe he wasn't ready to show us that just yet in his previous lives.

He was now.

And again, showing us he does like the song, he hums Like crazy again later on in the live.

JK is JM's happy place. That is part of his love language. He makes JM laugh, and many times it's by being his bratty cheeky self.

JK makes JM laugh. In JM's own words, he's his happy virus.

This part is funny and cute and JK just being JK by imitating JM.

And this time it's all about having fun, but JK as a whole mimics JM, not only for fun, but also as a compass, a guide as to how to behave or react. We saw him do it a lot in the younger years. JK wasn't joking when he told JM he's watching him, lol. We certainly do have the receipts for that one.

He has been doing this since forever. So very neuro divergent of him.

@jikookotters said to me after this live that JM should release a book - "My life with a brat".

and

Well, it has bestseller written all over it, guaranteed.

LMAO.

All fun aside, I'd say it's a small price to pay. You know, having a bratty bf that brings a smile to your face in the process. Same man that looks at you like this:

For the whole world to see.

Literally the whole world, having millions of people just sitting there watching him watch JM and melt.

Songs JK listened to and sang for us:

Traffic light - Lee Mujin

Wasurenai TANAKA

Jay Park yesterday (Omg, the lyrics...)

Your love's the sweetest sound Around you, my heart just pounds Your touch, I'll write it down So high, I can't come down Was hopeless, took notice Baby, like a siren, mm, and you gave me faith, oh You're the answer, all my problems solved Life with you is so beautiful, I won't trade it away I was lost but found my purpose now I'm glad you're keepin' me around, I won't trade it away Whether I'm up or down or I wear no crown Love me the same way, the same way you did as yesterday Whether I'm rich or poor, just call me yours Love me the samе way, the same way you did as yestеrday Oh-oh, oh-oh Did as yesterday Your smile is all I need Without you, these lungs can't breathe I'd fall from the sky for you Wanna do better and thrive for you Was hopeless, took notice Baby, like a siren, oh-oh, and you gave me faith You're the answer, all my problems solved Life with you is so beautiful, I won't trade it away I was lost but found my purpose now I'm glad you're keepin' me around, and I won't trade it away Whether I'm up or down or I wear no crown Love me the same way, the same way you did as yesterday Whether I'm rich or poor, just call me yours Love me the same way, the same way you did as yesterday Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh

I know he's a problematic person, but that song, I definitley get why JK likes it.

I have seen many are worried this is a precursor for him having a collab with Jay Park (we did see JK in his studio last year), and that very well may be. We will just have to wait and see about that.

JK also watched "JK vocals I liked", well tried watching and gave up in the middle because The best of me on replay was just too much for him.

And his G-Dragon imitations, lol.

This was in no way him dissing G-Dragon. This was him being a fan of the man, something he has also shared with us in the past.

OK, Is it time to address the other elephant in the room?

JK's unwillingness to sing a BTS song...lol.

Maybe better not🤣🤣

JK's goodbye to us.

Questions to ask ourselves after watching the live:

Is someone going to explain to JK why the comments are disappearing?

What is JK working on his English super hard for? He makes a point of telling us multiple times during the live that he's working on it hard... I doubt it's only for his TikTok narration for Take two...there is more coming from JK. Question is what and when? Hopefully soon.

So why did JK want us to know about the book he's going to be reading? JK made a point at the start of the live to grab the book and place it on the table in front of him, later to show us the book and tell us he bought it and will read it. Why did JK want us to know about Michelle Zauner or her book? Collab? This is a bit of a stretch, well ok, a huge stretch, but could it be because Michelle Zauner, an openly bisexual woman, married her bandmate Peter Bradley back in 2014? So many questions...

How many times does JK have to mention JM while talking about the rainy day fight?

What was up with JK's glasses? He clearly told us that he needs them. And he was also about to get up go get them, but then stopped and said he's too lazy. But was that it? Really? Or did he just remember/realise that he forgot his glasses at that very place he came from shortly prior to the live? You know, the same place he came from arriving at Brunnen and placing his jacket (is that a motorcycle riders jacket?) on the sofa. Same Jacket he moved aside so maybe we don't notice it too much.

JK getting the book and moving the jacket:

Will we be seeing JK at one of Yoongi's Seoul concerts? Did Yoongi see the live, hear JK's request for a formal invitation up on stage? Lol. JK did say that if Yoongi asks him up, he'll do it... Oh, and do we buy concert tickets for the streaming with those prices???

What's up with JK's YT algorithm?

Do I bring this up again?

Yeah, I guess that explains the algorithm with all the cooking and JM going on there...

Kookie, your obsessions are showing...

What was it with the guitar JK left out to tell us that he's not practicing at all although he should be? At first I thought it might have something to do with JM's acoustic performance, Letter with the guitar, you know, being the JM spoiler king and all.

But now that Take two is out, I can't help but consider perhaps this time it wasn't about JM but more about Take two... the opening guitar. Although (yes, this is me flip flopping here) the opening guitar in Take two is an electric guitar... So yeah, no idea.

Do his neighbours, by this point, have Hybe on speed dial? I mean, I'd love to have JK as a neighbour, I really would? Nah, I lie. I love JK, you know I do, but my god, the noise that man makes, I would be hospitalized by now for sleep deprivation. And the creepy creeps that are out and about looking for him? Nah. Love him, but would rather not be his neighbour, lol.

And last but not least what so ever - why the heck is this man so utterly adorable? This man that on stage is a lean mean killing machine (well, most of the time). How can that be the same person? HOW?

Once again JK has come to us, in his time and on his terms. And once again he's shown us in few words and many actions just how much he loves and appreciates army, and how much he loves JM. He does what he does, says what he says, within the limitations, showing us all his love and support for JM.

He's so friggin loud even those that are unwilling to see are having difficulty ignoring it.

So, are we taking bets on when we're going to be getting him live next? And will we finally be getting a JK Letter sing along? Now that we have an official Letter (Dear.Army) release on YT that is. Now, wouldn't that be an interesting one?

[harrietvane]

So, in response to tags on this post re: a Daniel Henney/Navarre Ladyhawke scenario, I have been thinking for DAYS on who else one would cast.

To make it fun you really want to set boundaries. Stick to a) people you can cast now (it's not open choice eg you can't cast Gene Tierney then with DH now, it has to be both here and now), and b) be of an equivalent career profile (aka you can't cast some rando from an advertisment), and c) stick within the general vibe and age range of the original narrative. However point c) has really challenged me, as I looked up the ages of the original cast for comparison and it has not satisfied me re: contemp. casting.

For example, Rutget Hauer was 41, and Michelle Pfeiffer was 27. Daniel Henney is 44, so far so good, but then when I went looking at actors in the 27 year age bracket I get like the Ella Purnells and Daisy Edgar Joneses and Anya Taylor Joys of the world? I get that people who notably played teens on screen recently are not actual teenagers, i do know this... but the idea of casting, like, one of the flashback Yellowjackets vs Daniel Henney (44) bores me to tears. BORES ME to TEARS. Navarre/Isabeau, despite sharing very little screentime, have a feeling of being adults of an equivalent experience/confidence/capability, perhaps because they are both the Adults when compared to Philippe's Youth, and the Bishop's and Imperius' Age. Phillipe has to seem like a teenager to her, but he'll be a mid-20's actor already so like I'm not super keen on casting gorgeous models who have yet to see the fun side of 30.

But also like Zöe Robins is in her early 30s and the vibe they have in WoT seems dynamic and interesting between them, so I'd not averse to ZR as Isabeau for for funsies, and just have a WoT LadyhawkeAU. However, I scouted around by going up a decade for the hell of it.

Front runners are: Jodie Turner Smith (you definely go 'holy shit that is the Face of Love', and she can play a quiet dignity combined with a 'i do what i want' vibe); hard to miss Keira 'queen of costume' Knightley (you KNOW she could do it, and she does 'pining and pissed off' so well); but my fave is Sofia Boutella - Isabeau does a lot of no-dialogue scenes of her Looking and Reacting to things, rolling her eyes at Phillipe, thinking about things silently, and Pining, and Boutella is a spectacular no-dialogue actor. She has a dance background, so no surprise I guess. I mean she's been in a lot of action-heavy stuff with minimal/expository dialogue, and you can SEE her feelings. She can do angry and vulnerable and quiet in combination. She can rock a 'i cut my own hair off' look like no problem.

Imperius is Simon Russell Beale. I just like to see him in everything.

Casting Phillipe the Mouse is impossible. IMPOSSIBLE. Ladyhawke is essentially a 2-hander, times 2, because Isabeau and Navarre can't interact due to the uhhhhh central premise of the movie. That means the actual on-screen chemistry has to be between Isabeau|Phillipe, and Navarre|Phillipe (| or / depending on your chemstry preferences I guess).

Due to the age range, you're looking at bascially the kind of people who get cast as one of the kids in Stranger Things, and I recoil. Broderick's entire brand is built on having so much Ferris Bueller youthful rocket-fuel charisma he literally defined the man-child archetype at 23. I cannot think of anyone working now in that age bracket who I would not immediately tell to STFU anytime they were on screen. Idk, find some kid who is live on stage as Billy Elliot or in Matilda right now somewhere, that's probably your best bet

[annwrites]

Really loved your Billy ff 😔pls dont Stop writing for him, youre so good🗣️

I'm so glad you liked it!

And I'd like to continue writing for his character, but the only idea I have atm is a rockstar!billy au, but as I don't have wifi where I live, I really need to be somewhere with it & on a computer, so I can start doing research for it.

Like, venues during that time, hotels, other bands, the typical makeup of an 80s rock band, what made them successful, the layout of their songs & albums, instruments, tour busses, what a typical tour looked like, etc.

If I follow through, it's going to be a lot of work. But it might be fun. If I can plot anything more out than the handful of scene ideas I have in my head, that is.

Ok, I'm putting this under the cut bc someone is gonna be curious about my ideas and I'm always so eager to share lol:

I plan for there to be a love triangle. I did make another post detailing a bit of what reader & Billy's first time meeting might go like.

Long story short, she ends up going on tour with them as like...not a groupie, bc she def doesn't identify as that. Just... She's there bc Billy wants her there. But bc he's (in this fic) an addict, an asshole, a man-whore, a rock god, etc, she refuses to just give into what he wants.

When something more does finally happen, I have an idea for a scene where she comes to his hotel unexpectedly, like a day early, and finds him in a compromising position with 2 girls. Having sex with one, snorting coke off the other. She goes to leave, to go home permanently, vowing that she's done for good, but the lead guitarist stops her and professes his love for her. And bc she's an emotional wreck, she gets into bed with him.

And after... Things get messy. Like, Billy & the guitarist already dislike one another (honestly, think Billy Dunne & Eddie Roundtree from Daisy Jones if you want an idea of the relationship), but BOY do things get amped up the next morning when one of the other band members asks where reader is, as she was supposed to be in by that morning &

guitarist is all: "she's in bed".

Billy: "the hell did you just say?"

Guitarist: "Yeah, she's asleep in my room. Guess she got tired after last night. We were up pretty late."

Billy ofc knows wtf he's implying & loses it. Idk, maybe he breaks a guitar or something.

But, she develops feelings for the guitarist, but bc the fic is about Billy... That's who it will always be for her. Him.

I have a scene written where the band manager tries to pay her off to get her out of the picture—as he can see things slowly starting to now come apart at the seams—that I plan to eventually share as a lil sneak peak, I think lol.

[crossover-enthusiast]

HEY GUESS WHAT I ALSO BROKE MY COMPUTER! were both miserable now

no but seriously i am. having a rough time . rn uhm

got any uhhh spooky month headcanons you can share

idk man

MAN.

Uhhhh let's see

Back before he got swamped with work Pump's dad would take Pump into the woods and they'd just make a big fire and roast marshmallows together

John's last name is Doe, and his wife's name was Jane

Susie helped Pump make his pumpkin mask

The Hobomen are named Barry (Tankman one) and Nate (Steve one) respectively

Costume Guy is Lucky's older brother. The bad luck runs in the family

Lila's mom was named Rose

One time Skid and Pump spent an entire night in an arcade

Garcia gave Roy a hammer for his fifth birthday and it was immediately confiscated by Roy's parents. It's still somewhere in the house

Frank wanted to be a doctor but never had the money to go to med school. Now that he has his "business" he doesn't see the point in it

✨tada✨

[maymeowmoo]

New episode of Smg4?!?!?!? Well I'm inna writing mood soooooo.... Imma review/analysis and share my thoughts on the new episode >:) ["SMG4:SMG3's BOMB CAFE"] If you're bored feel free to read this overly detailed analysis of a 12:01 minute video! (Actually ~10:30ish)

Analyzing time! ^w^/

Smg3 being so happy abt his lil cafe is very cute. I did not expect Smg4 to be so goddam sassy in this episode but I like that they didn't get rid of their rivalry completely since u know, after so many years it would be odd for it to just disappear even if they have recently been bonding so much u<u

Still I couldn't help but feel a bit odd? Like idk if Four just desperately wanted Three to ask him for help w the coffee or what but DANG was he super into making Smg3's life harder. At 4:49 Smg4 basically goes screw it lets make Three more miserable and invites everyone. Like let bro learn overtime we don't need a Kirby Lunch Rush but with Smg3! Also Four's expressions? Dude is being SILLY on purpose u_u He continues his nuisance charade with 6:22 ("How can you not even have the unicorn frappucino?"). Like dang bro how abt u calm ur sass down and stop provoking Three even more? He does get a clear indication of Smg3's annoyance (8:51-8:52 Smg3 says "Shut up." to Four also stopping him from making another sassy remark) yet still continues. At 9:14 (Smg4:"So you admit you can't run a shop yet?") Four gives his snarky comment and all I can think of is how he intentionally made it harder for Three to run the dang shop. [Note: Tbh even someone who owned a shop would have a hard time with Smg4's Crew lets be fr.] Just like I said at the beginning of this paragraph I am starting to really believe Four wanted to be involved with Three somehow and the only way he knew how is by forcing conflict.

Characterization wise what surprised me is how even after two instances of Three yelling for the others to stop fighting they still continue on. Idk I just feel like they would've listened tbh. They were very... hyperactive I guess? The characters do act kinda like they should but it still felt odd to me for some reason. Eggdog as always has the best characterization tho, man do I like that silly egg thing. Anywho this wasn't the only thing that felt odd continuity wise. I would've thought Smg3 learnt to make proper coffee before he started up a cafe? Especially since he literally lived in a STARBUCKS??? Like I just think he would've idk tried making coffee before opening a cafe even if he didn't make any during his time in the Internet Graveyard. I did make up two explanations for this tho! One is that the dead memes (Specifically the funny lil knuckles) made the coffee during his time in the Internet Graveyard and the other is that he was just too anxiety/adrenaline ridden to make proper coffee. At the end of the day these things aren't huge issues for me but as I said before it did make me feel odd.

Smg4 getting called out for his sass was necessary for me to like this video so imma glad it happened and he doesn't just get away with his behavior. At 9:23 the realization of his silly shenanigans finally catch up to him and that means..... THE SMG34 PART OF THE EPISODE STARTS YEEHAW! Even though Smg4's and 3's confrontation felt just the tiny bit forced to me (probably Four's fault) it was so nice to see them being softer. I also really like how Three doesn't agree to Four's proposal without making some convoluted reasoning as to why this isn't just two pals helping each other out and is actually TOTALLY just a transactional thing. It feels really in character! Oh yeah since I need to put this somewhere at 9:47 Four is like "I want to help" and like... you made it harder and now you want to help? Better now then never tbh ^w^/

Jokes -> The joke at 2:27-2:34 made me chuckle ._. and that makes me somewhat disappointed in myself (You want it? Issa urs my friend is so real). 3:00 is also a joke I liked, it felt very relatable (I struggle with basic human stuff like buttons on a coffee machine also u_u aww man). 3:28-3:32 Decent joke! 4:12 having a Gmod Three bang the coffee machine was good but the sudden Pomni/Smg4 reaction wasn't for me :v (It is good for Au art tho, I've seen the Smg4 as Pomni art hehe ;P ). 5:55-6:05 Nice joke ^v^/ (Smg3 writing '1 jar of poison for Mario' was the cherry on top tbh). 6:29-6:35 just like the joke at three minutes the whole 'operating a coffee machine being like dark magic' is still funny to me. 7:35-7:38 7:45-7:46 the music that plays when the rainbow (acid) coffee is shown is cool. 8:34-8:49 The whole Tari going coo coo joke is honestly pretty unfunny ._. I did not like it :v. 10:44-10:45 'Cleaned up everything!' is such a funny pop up to put here. Joke APPROVED!

Joke wise I think this episode is actually quite solid. The one joke I really didn't like kinda puts it down but ignoring that issa cool ig :D (6,8/10)

Closing statement -> Dude Four on roller skates working at a cafe for Three? THIS IS JUST A FANFIC AT THIS POINT... and I am all for it ;D

[Note: I have no idea why I wrote this but I felt like it sooooo... YEAH! >:3 If you have any thoughts abt this ep I'd love to hear em ;o]

[cloudcountry]

assigning the ikepri characters love languages with my very limited knowledge of their characters because i thought it would be fun PART TWO

(part one: ikevamp)

sariel had me stumped for like twenty minutes HELP!!! i literally have no idea but uhhhhh hm. acts of service maybe. BUT ALSO WORDS OF AFFIRMATION but not in the cheesy way, in the way where he likes praising mc when she does something well C:

nokto seems like he’d be really touchy or just praise the people he cares about a lot. i’m leaning more towards praise, so words of affirmation? but honestly this man is an enigma i don’t understand HELP

leon is so physical touch coded...i am not sure what it is. he just seems like such a sweetheart that would love holding his lover and swinging them around and touching them in any way he could. very tender vibes :((( he seems so kind.

chevalier.....HMMM CHEVIE..............maybe quality time??? since he doesn't really seem to find other people all that interesting or like spending time with them. since he likes spending time alone, his time might be precious to him and sharing it with his lover could be a big deal. idk HELP

licht is a hard one but i guess physical touch? maybe? but im also getting an acts of service vibe. i know literally nothing about him though except for the fact that his route is really really sad.

clavis has the unfortunate love language of making you horrendous food (okay so yes i might have looked through my friend’s playthrough of him but that means NOTHING okay i still don’t know anything about him SHHHH) ANYWAYS an actual love language...physical touch maybe? i remember seeing somewhere that he's a leg man LMAO

rio is NOT debatable. he is words of affirmation. but yk, whatever love language you want him to have he will have. but seriously just from the prologue alone i’m convinced if words of affirmation had a definition it would just be his face.

jin seems like he would be all for physical touch!! i feel like he's one for words of affirmations too but i think he’d like holding his partner...kinda like leon but with less puppy dog energy???

yves seems like he loves giving quality time!! i’ve played a little bit of his route so obviously i know a bit more about him than i do the others right now but he takes time out of his day to make sure the mc is comfortable. just spending time with them is enough and i think that’s so sweet :C

luke is kinda tough too but i think he’d appreciate quality time? he seems to like being alone for the most part and honestly i can picture him just spending time with his lover whenever he can. he’s another one that seems really sweet honestly :C

gilbert’s love language is killing people for you /j but um actually i think maybe. quality time? vio HELP. i think he likes reading so maybe reading w him in the library. i dunno he’s got me stumped.

keith seems so sweet :(( um i think!! words of affirmation!! he seems like someone that would think he might hurt you if he touched you, so physical touch doesn’t feel right to me. he does seem like the type to whisper a soft “i love you” or hold pinkies.

silvio screams gift giving and i don’t know if this is because nobody else has given me gift giving vibes or because he seems like a rich brat type BUT. gift giving methinks. he jingles and jangles and maybe you should jingle and jangle with him

[ponett]

some more SLARPG-related questions and answers taken from my retrospring:

Hi, I wanted to start by saying I loved your game and it meant a lot to me. Instead of gushing sappily though, I wanted to ask about the cross iconography in Melody's staff and Provence's armor; what cultural or religious significance does this symbol have in the world of Reverie? (If it doesn't mean anything to them but does to us that's cool too!)

the + shape (typically in green) is the symbol for healing magic, rather than a religious symbol

hi! in an answer on here just now you referred to "the beast kingdom", is that a canon thing and there is a monarchical governed body called The Beast Kingdom, or was that just something you threw out there because you didn't have a name for it, or some exciting third answer?

the country slarpg is set in is The Beast Kingdom. i can't remember if that's actually stated in the game. i think it is? maybe it was cut from the intro so as to not overwhelm the player with Fantasy Proper Nouns up front and i forgot to put it somewhere else? idk. the sapphire islands are some distance off the coast, and brightport is on the mainland

i saw some speculation about this based on the name, and yes, it's intended to be a modern constitutional monarchy

(after answering this i doubled checked, and yes, the name is mentioned in the game)

Is there any kind of animal species beast folks strictly CANNOT be? (besides RandomFurryUser726's custom closed species obviously)

off the top of my head i can't think of anything they COULDN'T be, no. mammals, birds, reptiles, sea creatures, bugs. i guess when you get to some of the more oddball invertebrates it becomes trickier, but i also wouldn't completely write off the possibility of coming up with a jellyfish character or whatever. it's just less likely that i'd go for something like that compared to, you know. furries

since holly floated the idea in her own stream: Did Jodie forge her own grill?

you know what? sure. this is canon now

How did Claire come to choosing her name? Was is just a name she liked the sound of or is there more significance for her?

undecided due to how much that part of claire's life is still unexplored

just curious, but is zinnia's hair color intended to be more 'older woman gray hair' or 'magical girl white hair'?

her hair is naturally a very light blue, like how melody and jodie just have naturally white hair

i pictured the scrap cannon skill working by magnetizing a bunch of scrap metal around one's arm to make an arm cannon and firing off a big ball of more scrap metal from that. is this a valid interpretation?

this isn't how i picture it but it's cooler than how i picture it and also adds yet another mega man allusion to the desert, so

Given that it's the day of the Big Game: How do each of the Novas (+ Faith/Beverly) feel about sports?

jodie likes sports and follows the brightport teams actively, but she's also too good of a sport to really hate their rival teams

allison's always liked the act of playing sports way more than watching them (although she was never good enough at following orders to play on a team as a kid). she'll watch the big games with jodie, though

beverly is a casual fan who will at least root for local teams but doesn't really pay that close attention

melody and faith don't follow sports but can be convinced to show up for a super bowl party type get together

claire can only get invested in a sport or team if there's a jon bois type documentary that gets deep into the nerd shit

Were there ever any other names other than SLARPG in the running? Or was it always gonna be slarpg all the way.

i always considered changing the name. i have a list of 75 different names i considered over the years in my notes, ranging from more generic fantasy titles to sillier ones to more unique ones. early on most involved melody's name. many later ones include "Reverie." i may share the full list someday (possibly good fodder for a patreon post), but the "serious" title i've mentioned considering before was Power Couple (or Power Couples). i still like that one

i debated over the title a lot for many reasons. mainly, people are weird about the title, either treating the whole game as a joke or assuming it's porn or whatever. some also assume that you just cannot play the game if you aren't a lesbian, a thing that people don't do with other fantasy things that happen to feature sapphic relationships without putting it in the title

the problem, of course, is that changing your title is often a death sentence. half the struggle with marketing a game is even getting people to remember it in the first place in an era where a million things are constantly fighting for your attention. people need to have seen it a few times before they create that mental connection of "oh, THAT game, i've heard of that." so changing your title massively undercuts that

in that regard, Super Lesbian Animal RPG is just way more unique and memorable of a title than the alternatives i was considering. it's direct and unambiguous about the content of the game, and it grabs your attention in a way that something like "Guardians of Reverie," for instance, doesn't. (that's not a title i was considering too seriously, just an example.) also it abbreviates to a unique hashtag, which i find convenient. also i can say that rock paper shotgun once referred to it as "brilliantly named," so like, of course i can't change it now

several of the names i considered are now in the running for an overall franchise name, though, since i have zero intention of naming a game Super Lesbian Animal Platformer or Super Lesbian Animal Visual Novel or whatever

I wish you could kiss Holly this life is so unfair

fear not my friend, large women exist in our world as well

are all cars on Reverie weird fantasy vehicles like the one in the Celestial Wasteland? or was it just the fact of Greenridge being a tiny town with dirt roads that made cars irrelevant to mention or see in the story?

fantasy vehicles such as flying cars and airships are very common on reverie, but regular wheeled vehicles still exist too. (there is a conversation about motorcycles in the game.) i'd imagine regular, non-flying vehicles are just the cheaper option, but they're also not particularly necessary in greenridge, a small, old town built for foot travel that doesn't exactly have a highway connecting it to the mainland

from the sounds of it, would it be safe to assume that the exact level of involvement you had in the characters Anthony/Scarlet designed varies from character to character? Like for some characters you'd have a solid-ish idea of gender/species/age/role, other times you just have the role ("I need an NPC to fill this nice"), and other times they just sprung a design on you without any prompting from you?

yeah, it varied a lot. for example, faith was a character i conceived and had a pretty clear idea of, but i was struggling to come up with her design, so anthony offered to give it a shot. other times i might request something from him, and he'll give me a black and white concept sketch that i color and then turn into a sprite. but then you've got, like, the paladin brigade, who are characters anthony just pitched to me thinking that they'd be a good addition to the cast. he came up with their names, designs, color schemes, personalities, team dynamic, everything. i just filled in details where necessary. the boys are also anthony's babies - they would not have been included in the game at all if he hadn't pushed for it

meanwhile, scarlet's characters (which included a good number of more general NPCs that didn't make it in due to time constraints) mostly consisted of me giving her broad directions like "we need some adventurers to hang around noel's sanctuary," and she'd come up with her own ideas from there

what's the hardest part of making a cohesive and/or compelling narrative to you?

for me at least, it's the logical glue that holds a story together that's the hardest. that's just the type of writer i am, and as far as i know it's pretty common to feel that way

i'll know specific scenes i wanna hit, emotional beats, the general mood and tone, images i want to use, those sorts of things, but the logical shuffling around of pieces on the chess board to connect those disparate moments is harder to nail down for me. why is this character doing this? why are they here instead of there? why can't the protagonists just do this other thing to solve their problem? what in the narrative is going to steer them towards this next moment? what is this supporting character's motivation that informs their participation in this event? why did this character know or not know this key fact? etc. and in a video game - especially an rpg like this - there's that added layer of needing to give the player clear objectives, having reasons for them to go from point A to point B, excuses for gameplay elements to space out the story beats, and whatnot. it can be a lot to juggle

with slarpg in particular i knew most of the big emotional beats and major setpiece moments i wanted to hit early on, but the logic of the plot took a LOT of reworking. lots of late night pondering and scattered notes trying to piece together the villains' plans and things of that nature

[knowlessman]

"shigaraki has become too powerful. we need to bring in the one person we know who can disable him from a distance." "you can't mean -" "I do. Contact Mr Smiley." (bnha s6e7-10)

I forgot Aquaman or wever his name is was keeping Eraser Head's eyes wet so he could stare at Tomura 'XD that's just, a thing. that's how this show works. that's just a thing in this show

"he even has all might's power and toughness" blinks in Magic player I wonder what those might be. Maybe like 7/7? or he's a 1/1 that can pump?

"'little brother?' I didn't say that. I don't want to be like you, teacher, I want to surpass you. my will is my own" yeah, I don't think you read all the fine print back when Super-Satan took you in. gifted powers from vague-talking benefactors have a tendency to not care what you want in the end

"Vanishing Fist" is a cool name for an attack. wonder what they cribbed it from (turns out they didn't, it sounded like something that coulda been from something else tho imo)

(midnight got got by mr compress and is telling momo to use a forbidden technique or something to stop bigfoot) hmmm. so midnight had yaoyorozu analyze her sedative stuff so she can make it? yaoyorozu's quirk may be a strict upgrade over some of the pros', then.

ngl, mt lady hasn't seemed to be slowing bigfoot down worth a damn so far. dint even try to get him off his feet, he was just pushing her ahead of him like a plow for the longest time

figures, acid girl remembered bigfoot from her origin story or something and it made her fumble the shot. or he just reminded her of it? not sure, I don't remember the details that well (could swear her origin story was literally about a "monster" looking guy just asking for directions but idk). anyway, kirishima to the rescue? like they do have that shared backstory bit kinda thing so like sure

…what the.

-- fucker just. …fuck is that called? gurning? yeah. mfer just won the universe gurning championship of all time out of nowhere. swallered his nose. and ears. and eyes.

(tomura got eraser head with the dart) I don't guess our guy's wearing dartproof shinguards under them trousers or summat? -- BRO.

-- BRO. when is this that kind of show

(OP starts up again) okay, get this upbeat… get this lewis carroll denver jam band shit outta my face, a man just cut his fucking leg off with a knife with one swipe, my man has a vorpal fucking sword specifically for chopping entire legs off and you are playing stuff that would sound too tame and mild and childish for fucking burnout 3. "lazy generation" wouldn't come close to cutting it for this shit, get outta here -- hell, what was he gonna do if it hit him in the gut? chop his entire fucking self in half? -- sweet from atlantis: "the catalog says this little beauty can cut through a femur in twenty-eight seconds. I'm betting I could cut that time in half"

"the giant villain is expected to pass through eleventy different cities on his way to wherever he's going" see, now they got sad twangy strings in the background, it sounds like "In the Woods Somewhere." this is appropriate music for the context -- also the kids really did go through all that for fuckall. : | apparently he can Tarrasque in his sleep or something

robotnik: "that one mistake will bring about your demise!" fucking cyclops with his stupid dinky eye lasers. and writers not knowing what defibrillators are for.

oh yeah, this episode's named after bakugo for some reason. writer really does act like he's fucking enkidu when he's just extremely simply a bad person, it's never gonna make sense to me

flashbacks of bakugo "helping" deku figure out the black whip ig -- wait shit, so deku now also has an ability called Float that just lets him Peter Pan. …or just levitate ig, apparently he needs the other stuff to actually move -- all might: "you're helping him learn his powers to atone for your past actions. but he probably never thought about it" these two make no goddamn sense. bakugo is still every bit as abusive, not only towards deku, but towards every person he interacts with, as he was when we first met him. he's never shown any trace of regretting being that way. hell, he also just got done spelling out that he can't understand that deku values and cares about other people, that that quality of deku's is repulsive to him. -- bakugo is just… is just wired in such a way, whether by nature or nurture or both, that he needs help becoming anything but several kinds of danger to other people. and he'll never get it, and he'll somehow continue to be portrayed as some kind of, for lack of a better word, "quirky" hero.

cyclops's cape is completely gone now, dang. is tomura gonna get a new one after this fight, or what? that thing was his whole wardrobe, now he's just Ben Swolo with wrong hair and chapped lips.

welp, here comes Super-Satan, Tomura, here comes your benefactor to take over the reins. toldja. -- (bakugo took the hit) there'll be no living with him after this. not that there was any before

"I finally got you" ah ah ah. if I didn't know any better, I'd think the Avatar Spirits might have something to say about that. I know you gave this power away, all that time ago, but it might not want to go back. it's got several minds of its own now

the villain team's hacker guy has visual on the fight? while riding on bigfoot's back? how shit is the good guys' tech if this nobody with a laptop can see shit and nobody else knew anything until bigfoot started moving?

"I need to ask sakuraraka why hawks killed twice" yeah because she'll definitely have any damned idea what you're talking about (did he die? I mean they kinda played it like he did but they do that a lot and it very rarely seems to take) -- "you're not the only one who's mad about twice" …what IS spinner doing here? what is his whole deal? does he have one? why is his sword twenty swords taped together in a pile, and why haven't we seen him do anything since like season two? at least, I could swear he hasn't done anything, for having such a distinctive design he's such a nothingburger of a character

"what are you going to do to me?" 'XD fucking nothing, the best her power can do is levitate you and you know it

oh goddammit, the next one's title is literally That Bit with the Gifs and the Hall & Oats Memes, the bit I been waiting for this entire time, but I just watched four in a row (four HEAVY ones) and I wanna stop. I'm just gonna have to save it and open on it (and Knife Girl's BS) next time

[liquorisce]

So idk if you've touched it since but can you give us a little sneek peak of BYLB as an original work? Like the new characters and things things you plan on/have changed from the version we read?

thank you so much for this question!!

i'm not sure i have a sneak peek that that is good enough to share, because for a long time, despite rewriting nearly 25k words, i couldn't pinpoint what was wrong with it. I thought changing pov might be able to tell the story better, but that was a tool, not the material itself.

thanks to all the reading and writing i have been doing on other projects, i have been thinking about bylb a lot. i think one thing i'll have to do, a kill-your-darlings of sorts, is to cut down a lot of details about other characters, and sometimes whole characters themselves.

the story i really want to tell demands a lot of interiority, and i think i'm way better at it now, but it also makes me understand then, that i cannot devote the same kind of attention or perspective to levi's backstory with petra. to his dynamic with hange. The incident that occurred between Cherry and Hange. I can't just throw them in there like I did last time and expect those things to resolve themselves.

I'll explain it this way. In my first draft that's up on ao3, I'm trying to talk about:

Levi, Hange, Levi's late wife and their relationship to the sex work industry. All of their relationships are different and filled with different types of pain. Levi was a cop that fell in love with a sex worker who became his CI, and then got caught and murdered for it. Hange is a trans character who wants to undergo a sex change surgery and is trying to save up for it, but at the same time they want to invest in creating a better environment for the girls who end up in similar situations. With Cherry we see a situation where Hange feels like they have failed in that endeavour, because Cherry refused to follow the boundaries laid out by Hange, and ended up being abused at the hands of a customer who claimed to love Cherry.

Mikasa on the other hand is trying to reclaim the ownership of her body by making it work. quite literally. she's been mothered by hange, fathered by levi, and this industry whilst dangerous, has been a playground of exploration for her. because she's been so protected, she doesn't consider the aspects of it that she doesn't want to. she's a good dancer, and she's proud of it. she wants to get a kick out of turning men on, so she does. But where Levi and Hange feel like shit for exposing her to this industry, she is trying to assert a "Why can't I do this if i feel safe and free?" kind of attitude.

Mikasa's sexuality: Mikasa is somewhere on the ace spectrum, demi i guess. she's felt broken for so long because her body doesn't experience desire the same way as others, but she's grown up knowing that her body elicits desire in others. and she's tried to push and prod and poke at that sensation until it's sore. Now for whatever reason, she finds it in the arms of a man who is supposed to be off limits to her. She is willing to disregard these limits, but this man is hot one minute, cold the next, hung up over an ex, and mostly unreliable.

Eren's backstory and divorce: Obviously Eren comes into the story with a really key perspective, the opening scene is about him and his friends, and his inner turmoil. What I was trying to do was write a man on the precipice of change. Here you have a man who thought he was doing all the right things in life, and suddenly he's found out it doesn't work. What is a moral choice anymore? He isn't so sure. What am I doing with a stripper? Why am I getting a divorce? How am I in love with someone else when I promised to be with my wife forever? Why do I feel like a different person when I am with this mysterious girl? etc.

Historia's sexuality and cheating: I obviously have sympathy for her, the way I wrote her into the story. She married her best friend but fell in love with a woman much later, something that she never expected would happen to her. This is not something she has an understanding of, herself. She has a controlling father whom she genuinely fears for, and is still very fond of her husband. So even though she wants to leave him, she is scared to leave him behind. He's one of the few people in her life who has been good to her, after all.

I have 2 choices to make here,

1) either I write a dual pov story from Eren and Mikasa's perspective, in which case I would really massively cut down point 1, and just briefly mention point 5 and change Mikasa's back story because there is so much to unpack in the dynamic itself, OR

2) I would keep the story from Mikasa POV and try to tackle all the above whilst featuring Eren as just a love interest. you know what i mean?

I THINK i am leaning towards the former, but this is a thing that keeps me spinning every three business days. Ultimately I am also conscious of "writing what I know" and the idea that I could be making an offensive commentary on sex work does scare me. On the other hand, I love romance and writing about Eren unravelling feels so compelling to me.

Regarding character changes: I like the character I have fleshed out for Mikasa. where I lean into her wistfulness, devotion and submissiveness in other fics, here I wanted to explore her pride and obstinacy, and desire to fight. So I like the character that I have here. In an original, I would call her M, and have her whisper her name to her lover, and the audience would not know it until the very end.

One thing I have toyed with seriously, is making M an onlyfans persona who breaks a lot of rules for a man who says he's never done this before, and kind of taunts her by asking what's so special about her. this is what i would do if i choose to option 1 as I explained above, because then I can just really make this an obsessive love story that takes place in the shadows. And I can still touch upon points 2, 3 and 4 in proper detail! If I got this route, I picture M's persona to have pink wig and a pole installed in her room. I wonder if she would be a rich girl. We'll have to see lol.

Eren on the other hand... oh boy. I just would not know what to name him. I have grown attached to the name 'Mr Jaeger' and it kinda sounds sexy, idk what else to say lol. Also while writing original fic, I also feel somewhat of a fraud writing names of people that are so far removed from the names and cultures that I know intimately. I've toyed with the idea of making the MMC an indian man, because I can then relate to the cultural obligations family thrusts on you especially in a marriage. i think i just need to give myself permission to do this, and a lot of things will fall into place, because here then is an archetype of man that i know LOL.

I think the real thing is nailing down what questions I am trying to answer in this story, and i'm still not a 100% sure. However, writing this post was super fun and helpful because it also lays out very clearly what I need to think about and write about. All I know for sure is that I will write it eventually, and it will have a positive ending. thanks again for this ask!

[boytumms]

I'm an intersex man who was raised female- so I guess I also count as transmasc? Lol. I'm with you on cis mpreg. Obviously I have nothing wrong w tmpreg. For soft stuff I prefer amab guys who either magically have the equipment or chose to change themselves. I think it hits with the part of me that kind of always knew I wasn't ""biologically"" one or the other. I can have my cake and eat it too. I think there's also something about people who were raised and socialised as men getting to share in whatever it is that makes pregnancy so appealing for us. Like. Our fantasy instead of just reality.

For kink I prefer the stomach >:] and.. I guess really stretchy intestines? 🤣

For me I think it use to come from not wanting to be pregnant myself so I didn’t really like tmpreg, but now I like both, I just have a preference towards cis mpreg.

In terms of the anatomy of it all, I agree with both of the things you said, I’m a fan of “womb somehow appears/develops in order for baby to be made”. Either connecting somewhere to the intestines or just forming it’s own exit, idk anything can happen since it’s all fantasy lol

[thatoneao3author]

randomized fic tag game

fuck it I’m creating a fic brainstorming challenge in an attempt to interact with the fandom ig

so I used this au generator to assign you an au, this fan fiction trope generator to give you a trope/situation/sometimes another au, feel free to keep clicking until you get something that inspires you.

then try to come up with the title, plot, vibe, and details of a fic including whatever the generators gave you. you don’t actually have to write it, just put the concept into the world! this is basically just a thought experiment

for example, here’s mine:

The AU generator gave me: summer camp au 

The trope generator gave me: Your characters are neighbors and hold up notes in their windows across from each other to talk all the time and they're both developing huge crushes.

okay okay I GOT this 

title: i’ll beat your ass in the color war, red

- we got teenage!gallavich, i’m talking season one ian-still-has-freckles little gallavich 

- ian gets a scholarship to the camp via a raffle his school did for kids on the honor role. technically, lip got it, but he handed the voucher off to ian because he’s caught up with karen at the time and wants his brother to have a good summer. that’s why ian’s there. 

- mickey is put into foster care for one reason or another, something with terry, and his foster family sends him. that’s why he’s there. mandy’s around here somewhere, too. 

- all the cabins are really close together, but ian + mickey are placed separately. right next to each other, actually. ian and mickey both happened to take the low bunks next to the windows, which are facing each other. 

- ian recognizes mickey as someone from the south side, like him. he also befriends mandy early on, but he doesn’t really speak to mickey. 

- UNTIL! there’s a power outage on the camp grounds, knocking out the lights in all of the cabins. And Ian sees a flashlight in the window across from his when he’s trying to go to sleep. 

- with the chaos of everything, it doesn’t work, and a generator powers up some of the cabins. for safety reasons, they send those without power to sleepover in the cabins with power so that everyone’s together and warm and guess what?? mickey and ian end up together. sharing a bed because there aren’t enough.

- they bond, but their schedules don’t line up the most and they end up doing the notes-in-the-window thing every night while trying to sleep for a week. they also pass this old notebook back and forth, giving each other doodles and thoughts and questions through the pages. they talk about how weird the experience is, how different the kids are from southsiders. 

- then, they get to pick new classes at the beginning of the following week. for the first time since the power outage, mickey approaches him directly and they pick similar classes

- they keep using the notebook throughout the summer, writing down things that are too hard to say out loud like “you’re pretty, red” and “i think i really like you and i don’t know if that’s a good idea”

- they spend free time together in the field, mickey sitting there while his sister and ian make flower crowns. 

- they do other arts and crafts together. ian makes them matching ‘friendship bracelets’ and mickey claims to think that it’s stupid. but he wears it anyway, just to see him smile

- idk man you get a summer’s worth of them being cute but not actually dating. mickey causes some trouble, they end up kissing at the camp fire, some sneaking around is involved, there’s a color war (which is like, fun team-based games like capture the flag or huge water fights) where they’re on opposite teams, maybe a little pride event at some point since we’re in the summer time. generally just huge summer love vibes

- i imagine there’s some issues near the end of camp bc mickey likes what they have but he isn’t sure if it can continue when they go back to chicago, he only feels safe doing their whole thing bc they’re away from literally everyone they know.

- one possible ending is mickey telling ian how much he cares, but they have to wait until they’re older and he’s away from his dad for good/he’s more comfortable in his sexuality. BAM! possible timeskip sequel, bittersweet ending. the other ending is ian offering him a place in the gallagher home, BAM! domestic vibes, some found family, and it’s more happy. either one could work depending on what i want from the fic

alright alright i’m all done now. don’t feel pressured to try it if you don’t want to, but i’m gonna tag @creepkinginc @softmick @gardenerian @lupeloto and @this-is-estrelya​