#idk man this is just a Personal Thing with no real solution i’m just venting really

[caughdeighy]

when i want to stop seeing “people with X mental illness do this!!!! [generic list of symptoms that can overlap with many other disorders] hashtag relateable!” posts but i don’t want to just block tags for specific disorders outright………… Pain

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 305: Worst Intervention Ever

Previously on BnHA: Shinomori, whose name took me an entire week to memorize, was all, “nice to meet you Deku, I’m ten feet tall, do you want to know how I died?” and without waiting for an answer explained that he kicked it from old age at forty thanks to good ol’ OFA. Deku was all “wait a minute, then how come All Might, who’s fifty-five and is definitely dyeing his gray hair, is still alive?” First and Shino were all, “we really have no fucking clue but we think it’s cuz he’s quirkless, JUST LIKE YOU!” So basically, since quirkless people don’t exactly grow on trees these days, Deku is probably going to be the last user of OFA. The chapter ended with Nana being all, “psst, Deku, about my grandson. Uh, can you kill him?” which is sure to lead to a very interesting conversation this week.

Today on BnHA: Nana And The Gang are all “so, Deku, how can we put this delicately. The thing is, we’re pretty sure that AFO really fucked my grandson up, so on the off chance you can’t save him, how would you feel about, you know... [throat slitting gesture].” Deku is all “idk you guys, I kinda feel like he’s really just a traumatized child at heart and he’s in a lot of pain and stuff and so I should try to help him.” The Vestiges are all “BUT WHAT IF YOU CAN’T” and Deku is all “BUT I WANT TO TRY, DAMMIT” and the Vestiges are all “well when you put it that way, we, uh, were just testing you, so congrats, you passed!” The chapter ends with First being all, “ANYWAY SO WHY DON’T YOU TWO SHY BOYS STANDING OVER THERE IN THE SHADOWS COME SAY HELLO” before we CUT AWAY FOR ANOTHER WEEK, goddammit.

seriously, Nana

just... have you met Deku?? look, if you really want Tomura dead, just sic him on the U.A. first years and tell Shouto and Honenuki that it’s a training exercise

oh my god lmao

we’re too far away to see Nana’s face here so I will just assume that she turned and is staring DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA for this one line lmao. “I just wanted to clarify in case anyone felt inclined to take my dialogue out of context and spend an entire week complaining about it”

oh my god?! are you all purposely trying to make me sad??

someone stop me before I launch into an impromptu rant about all my Tomura feels. WHY IS NOBODY STOPPING ME. oh my god but yes, exactly. he’s just in pain all the time. this is exactly why I think Tomura has such high redemption potential even though so far he seems to lack so many of the redemption arc essentials such as feeling remorse, wanting to change, and taking responsibility for his actions. the reason why I’m willing to overlook all that in his case is because Tomura has essentially had zero agency his entire life. AFO molded him into a killer by making sure he was in constant mental agony, and making it so that the only thing that even slightly relieved that agony was killing peeps. like, please don’t think I’m making excuses for him or anything, but if you take a child and manipulate their existence to make it virtually impossible for that child to grow up as anything other than a killer, and basically never give him the chance to be anything else, then no shit he’s gonna be a killer?? he’s basically never had the choice not to be. it’s never been an option for him. anyways I feel like I am EXPLAINING MYSELF SO BADLY but nonetheless I am prepared to die on this hill

anyway so now Nana is all “that’s a rhetorical question btw because Our Hearts And Minds Are One so we can feel everything you feel bro.” so yeah, that’s interesting

now Banjou is getting started on the “let’s try and talk Deku out of wanting to save Tomura because it’s insane” part of their OFA Mystical Space Void Reunion agenda

look, Banjou, I feel you, I really do. you guys don’t think it’s realistic that Deku can defeat Tomura without killing him. so if it’s a choice between killing Tomura vs letting Deku and everyone else in the entire world die, then duh, you think Deku should kill him. I get it! and if this were a real life mass murderer I’d totally agree with you. but the problem is that this isn’t real life, this is a sympathetic shounen villain with a tragic past who might as well have FUTURE REDEMPTION ARC RECEIPIENT stamped on his forehead at this point

so First is all “look, there’s absolutely no doubt my brother has fucked this kid up good and proper by now”, which, again, fair

though, that’s kind of exactly my point though. everything that Tomura is, everything he’s done, he’s done because of AFO. AFO has so effectively shaped his personality and his worldview by this point that it’s all but impossible to penetrate that. he’s AFO’s puppet. but the problem is that rather than treating him like a victim, you all are treating him like a casualty. like he’s already a lost cause. but good luck trying to convince Deku of that

WHOA WHAT, RANDOM SUPER-IMPORTANT AND BIZARRELY UNRELATED EXPOSITION DROPPED IN JUST LIKE THAT??

way to still not reveal Sixth’s name, btw. THE PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW, DAMMIT. but also so this confirms something we basically already knew already, which is that not even AFO can steal OFA. it literally can’t be taken away by anyone unless the owner wills it. SO SUCK ON THAT AFO YOU EGG

(ETA: so I have no idea why this was omitted from this translation, but apparently the Sixth’s name was revealed as “En”, which is obviously not his full name but at least it’s something. also he most likely has a fire or smoke-related quirk based on the kanji used, 煙.)

so Banjou is saying that Deku’s “lack of an iron will” could be a disadvantage against AFO. hahaha what?? Midoriya “I’ll break all of my bones without blinking an eye just to protect someone” Izuku lacks an iron will? do tell

he says this is going to be a test of Deku’s determination. well yeah, no shit. but just not in the way you guys think

OH HELLO AGAIN

darker hair again here! but I don’t trust the contrast in these scans at all after last week. his coveralls are way darker than they looked before too, and you can clearly see he’s standing in the shadows now

(ETA: yep, once again the raw shows that his hair is considerably lighter than what’s shown in these scans here. although there’s no mistaking now that his hair is consistently being colored in this slightly darker shade, and it’s not just the lighting.)

anyways lol First was saying something about how AFO can’t steal OFA, and they’ve spent all this time cultivating it as the ultimate weapon against AFO, and blah blah blah. go on then, keep lecturing

NANA GODDAMMIT NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT

girl what?? you did everything in your power to protect your family, and AFO, fucked up man that he is, targeted them anyway. there is one person and one person only to blame for what’s happened to Tomura, and that potato-faced asshole needs a good kick in the balls

NANA GODDAMMIT DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE

SO HELP ME GOD!! I WILL GIVE YOU THE BIGGEST HUG YOU’VE EVER HAD!! THAT IS A THREAT

so now Nana is all “I’m just going to call my grandson a Thing to ensure that fandom has only the freshest, grass-fed no-hormones-added discourse this week”

I don’t even need to drop into the tags to know exactly which specific people are going to respond to this, and what kind of posts they are going to write lmao. everyone’s all caught up in the “that thing”, and meanwhile I’m over here completely hung up on this “nay” that’s appeared out of NOWHERE you guys. look at that. she really said “NAY”

Nana, my love, my dearest, I feel you girl I really do. but he’s not an unforgivable manifestation of pure evil, Deku is exactly right actually, he’s a boy in pain. you guys need to stop questioning Deku’s shounen protagonist instincts here and just let him work his sparkly magic. “let’s try and convince Midoriya Fucking Izuku that he can’t save someone” is a plan that is NEVER going to turn out well you guys

“DEKU GODDAMMIT WHAT IF WE CAN’T SAVE HIM” lmao it’s like an intervention

“DAMMIT DEKU JUST ADMIT YOU HAVE A SAVING PEOPLE PROBLEM!”

RED ALERT IT’S ANOTHER CLOSE-UP OF THE BACK OF MISTER TWO BON CLAY’S HEAD OMG

(ETA: I was too distracted with freaking out about Two and Three to really appreciate how ridiculously handsome First looks in this panel. but on my second readthrough it stood out so much that I had to go back and add an extra bullet point just to talk about how hot he is. look at him. wtf.)

THAT IS DEFINITELY AN UNDERCUT. THE PLOT THICKENSSSS. also those are fucking exhaust vents on Mister Three’s neck. MISTER THREE COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE RELATED TO THE IIDAS, PLEASE TELL ME YOUR SECRETS I’M DYING OVER HERE

so now Deku is launching into what will undoubtedly be a “saving people problems require SAVING PEOPLE SOLUTIONS” heroic counter-speech!

I mean, they can already feel the “lol nah I’m gonna try and save him” feelings running through him lol. ~OuR hEaRtS aNd MiNdS aRe CoNnEcTeD~ and all that. this is just a formality, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love a good shounen protag speech

oh wait hold up, do you mean to tell me that the whole “hearts and minds are connected” thing I was just mocking just a paragraph ago actually allowed Deku to feel what Tomura was feeling?? like literally feel it??

YET AGAIN these Tomura feels are pounding on my front door you guys?? they just will not quit?? people my house is already full of feels, does it look like I need you to sell me any more of them?? -- what do you mean, they’re free??

AW YISS THAT’S IT DEKU. THAT’S SOME GOOD SPEECH RIGHT THERE

I appreciate the contrast here between the Douchebag Triumvirate of Overhaul, Muscular, and Stain versus the Misguided Twosome of Gentle and La Brava. never let it be said that Deku doesn’t know the difference between a redeemable villain and an unredeemable one

OH NO -- OH MY GOD

someone please help me I need directions to the OFA Spooky Galactic Nebula Realm in this fictional Japanese manga land. it’s not on google maps. I need to give these two babies a big hug and wrap them up in a blanket and treat them to some McDonalds Happy Meals please help

other things: (1) ENDEAVOR CHILLING OUT IN DEKU’S “PEOPLE I HOLD DEAR” PANEL LMAO NEON DISCOURSE EXTRAVAGANZA, (2) “ONE FOR ALL IS A POWER TO SAVE, NOT TO KILL” I’M ABOUT TO CRY DEKU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO FEEL ALL THIS LOVE, (3) [SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] THERE’S YOUR MOTHERFUCKING IRON WILL!!!!!!!! -- I’m sorry, please don’t call security, I’ll be good

I just randomly remembered that Deku is still saying all of this in his muffled “FMMPHHMMPHMM” voice and I’m somehow cracking up lol. so actually it’s a very good thing Their Hearts And Minds Are Connected, otherwise they’d no doubt be all, “...what?”

(ETA: so I completely missed this on account of it literally not being visible in the scan at all, but in the raw you can clearly see Baby Kacchan and Baby Shouto fanboying over All Might in two of these panels, and excuse me, ma’am??

thank you very much Deku for including them in your montage, particularly since you’ve never seen Baby Shouto before lol. amazingly accurate image you managed to conjure up, all things considered.)

SDKFJLSKHG -- AS IF ON CUE???

HE’S SO ADORABLE HELP?? Trippy Space All Might looks like he’s about to cry, and First is all “don’t crack a smile... you have to be Firm and Serious here... dammit, don’t smile” omg

anyways! YOU GO DEKU. “MY QUIRK MY RULES, BITCHES” damn, son

KLJLKKHLG TRIPPY SPACE ALL MIGHT LITERALLY ACTUALLY IS CRYING ALL MIGHT HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

“I JUST... [CLENCHES FIST] REALLY LOVE SAVING PEOPLE” FUCKING HELL LMAO THIS IS THE WORST INTERVENTION OF ALL TIME

Deku is literally all “sure, maybe I’ll have to kill him, but have you guys also considered, MAYBE NOT??” it’s no use Nana he’s too powerful

LMAO FIRST

“like I’ve been saying this whole time, you should definitely try saving Shigaraki Tomura.” “but, uh... First, didn’t you just -- ” “shut up”

(ETA: clearly it’s not just his brother who inherited those smooth-talking genes.)

so now Deku has turned back into a sixteen year old and his clothes have gone missing again. just OFA things

dskljdlsklgk

yes... sure... “testing” you...

HEY

FIRST OF ALL, DAMN YOU HORIKOSHI YOU MADE NANA CRY. even if I’m pretty sure they’re actually tears of happiness/relief. and SECOND OF ALL, “TELL MY BOYFRIEND I SAID HI” DJSKDLKJJL ANYWAY MAYBE GRAN, NANA, AND MR. SHIMURA WERE IN A THROUPLE

[SCREAMS]

WHY WOULD YOU END IT THERE?? WHY WOULD YOU END IT THERE!!!!!

(ETA: and two-to-one odds that we cut away to some other scene once they finally start to turn around next week. I’M CALLING IT NOW. giving myself a week to brace myself for the rage.)

fucking hell. well if anyone needs me I will be adding Horikoshi fucking Kouhei to the list of irredeemable villains, peace

[a-crimson-lion]

The Thing About Deku vs Kacchan 2...

[Y'all know the drill. If you don't like, then avoid. No unnecessary uncomfortability around here.]

Katsuki is trying to figure out why Izuku was chosen as All Might's successor. All Might chose Izuku for his heart, but Katsuki will never understand that because to him, being a hero is all about power and prestige; saving people is just an afterthought. I mean, he told Izuku to shut up when he tried explaining himself, and then he refused to accept Izuku's hand AGAIN when he fell. The possibility of All Might choosing Izuku for something other then strength is just nonexistent for Katsuki.

I get that they're trying to make Katsuki more sympathetic with his misplaced guilt, but you know what? Virtually everyone feels guilty about something or another. Izuku felt guilty about not being able to save Katsuki at the training camp. Eijiro felt guilty aboust staying put while his friend was taken away. Tsuyu felt guilty about bashing her friends fro wanting to save Katsuki. Hell, even All Might felt guilty for enjoying a bath during the camp attack when he had no idea about it! Misplaced guilt is nothing special, and it isn't an excuse, either. Notice how Tsuyu just talked about her guilt instead of trying to pummel everyone?

Look, I get that Katsuki only understands fighting and violence as a communication method, but that doesn't mean it's VALID. He needs help! Izuku needs help! Throwing hands is not the solution to every inconvenience life throws to you at Mach 13!

"...I'm weak, too!" Yeah, and so is everyone else, Katsuki. I get that you feel guilty about All Might's retirement, but... seriously. That line from Katsuki indirectly comes of as self-centered. "Oh, look at me! I'm so weak and sad and angry because I indirectly helped aid the Number One Hero's inevitable downfall!" Katsuki, buddy, you bullied Izuku for nearly a decade because he was "weak." You only got away with it because everyone else agreed that Izuku wasn't worth the effort since he was weak, worthless, quirkless, etc. You only see yourself as weak NOW just because your classmates no longer have crappy quirks. Welcome to the real world, where actually substantial quirks exist. That doesn't make you "weak" in the traditional sense, it just makes your expectations of others and yourself highly irrational. Seriously, you need to see a therapist.

Katsuki, your annoying win complex is showing. It's not just here, either! Katsuki loses? He throws a hissy fit. See Izuku's Ball Toss, the Battle Trial, the Sports Festival Pre Tournament, the Provisional License Exam, maybe etc. Katsuki wins? Sometimes he'll be a jackass about it. See Katsuki vs Shoto and Deku vs Kacchan 2... oh wait.

In regards to that last bit: Shoto has personal issues using his left side that KATSUKI LISTENS IN ON, but then Katsuki's like nope, doesn't matter, fight me at your best because I need validation. Katsuki beat Izuku, but since it doesn't answer any of his questions he just wonders why All Might picked his weak self for a successor when physical strength was never the main reason? You wanted him to win just so you could throw a hissy fit afterwards? IDK anymore...

Izuku, I get that you admire Katsuki and all that, but please, for the love of God, stop excusing his crappy behavior. You're a Shonen Protagonist, you're selfless, but for ONCE, THINK. OF. YOURSELF! Katsuki has detrimented your self-esteem nearly beyond repair, and now you're trying ro comfort him again!? That works fine with other people, but it has never worked ONCE with Katsuki! It's like talking to a brick wall!!!

They tried making this fight and the aftermath seem on equal footing, but honestly, I don't buy it. Izuku didn't want to fight in the first place, but again, Shonen Protagonist(TM). We're supposed to believe that they're rivals now, but honestly. Izuku's the only one taking that seriously. Katsuki just went from "Deku's useless" to "Deku exists." That's it. He doesn't recognize Izuku's own power. He recognizes All Might's. He recognizes One for All, not the wielder. And then Katsuki? Is surprisingly getting less flack!? Sure, he gets more time in house arrest, but that's basically where it ends. Izuku gets punished even though he tried diminishing the fight (even though Aizawa would have split them apart had All Might not intervened), he gets berated by his peers during house arrest because HE should be the bigger man and the good student (no such expectations for Katsuki... stupid double standards), and then IZUKU is the one who has to apologize. Meanwhile, Katsuki gets support from Dad Might (which I suppose he needs, but it'll take a whole lot more than that), and he learns about One for All (which helps his character HOW exactly?).

The growth in this fight is honestly just... very miniscule. Katsuki almost develops, but ends up regressing shortly after house arrest is over. Izuku, meanwhile, gets access to 8% of One for All from his previous 5%. Yay for best boi Izuku, nay for Katsuki, who was so close to gaining actual ground in his development.

Okay, I can't think of anything else to vent about, so it's probably out of my system. For now.

-Crimson Lion (10 August 2019)

[dangan-meme-palace]

Yandere DRV3 Boys

I fucked up the ask but I hope whoever requested this likes it :’)

The girls can be found right here

(Trigger Warnings for the following: Abuse (Emotional and Physical), Kidnapping, Manipulation, Suicide, Self Harm, Eating Disorders, Implied Murder, and Implied Torture)

Rantaro Amami

Probably fell in love with you when you asked him for help with something and thanked him for it by helping him with something he was struggling with

Wants to feel needed 24/7 so he just kinda

Does everything for you

All the time

Whether that means doing your homework, bringing you a lunch, buying you expensive gifts, or just being a shoulder to lean on

God help the people you vent about though

He's basically your personal problem solver so when people are the problem there's only one solution

Doesn't really mind you having friends because they make you happy and that's all he really wants

But again, god help the ones he deems unworthy

Definitely introduces you to his sisters

The amount of attention and devotion he gives to you probably worries his sisters though, and can lead to fights between him and them

They realize he's running himself ragged trying to take care of everything for you but he doesn't see that as a problem

In his mind you're helpless and need his help all the time and since he loves you why wouldn't he try to help :)

Who cares if he's tired, you take priority :))

You have to be careful about trying to get him to take breaks because if he knows what you're doing he'll get huffy

So you have to be like “awww maaaannn I'm super tired, will you cuddle with me for a while?" and hope for the best

Make sure you put in some effort too

He has it in his head that he needs to be doing everything for the both of you so

Make!! Sure!! He!! Rests!!

He'll overwork himself if you don't

He also makes a lot of decisions for you so if Y'all go to a restaurant he's ordering for the both of you

Overall a good boy who I would die for

Kokichi Ouma

Did somebody say mind games?

Probably fell in love with you when you exceeded his predictions multiple times

I imagine he's a lot like Izuru and Junko when it comes to being bored so when you came along his heart just !!!!

Finally, someone who didn't bore him to tears

And that's when things went from bad to worse

Gets really clingy shortly after his obsession starts

Always making excuses to be near you

He just doesn't wanna lose the only person who isn’t absolutely boring, okaaayyy~?

That being said you're not allowed to talk to other people period

He takes it as a personal offense tbh

Wants you to talk to him, pay attention to him and just never look away

Talking to you is something he enjoys immensely btw

Bonus points if you can see through his bullshit

Not gonna lie he's probably gonna threaten you a lot

Don't get him wrong he loves you dearly but

He wants to be the only one you think of

Would kidnap you given the chance

Probably tried to get DICE to kidnap you but since they thought it was a bit much for a “prank" they didn't do it

He screamed and yelled when they didn't 

They're terrified of him at this point but that doesn't matter because he has you!!

Have fun being locked in what used to be DICE HQ

He doesn't actually love you btw

It's just flat out obsession

Try your best to keep him entertained with you

If you don't he's gonna be sorely disappointed in you and you're gonna be horribly disfigured by the end of it

After all, what do you do with toys you don't like anymore?

: )

Kiibo

Probably didn't realize he fell in love until waaaaay later

All he knew was that you were really nice to him and caused him to overheat like a motherfucker

Poor Miu honestly

She's probably the one who told him about his feelings but we all know she gave him more questions than answers

Google: what is a smash and why do I want to do it????

Bless him

He just wants to impress you so he researches fucking everything he can about dating

Also if you like the more robotic aspects of him he asks Miu for hella upgrades

Would straight up do anything for you just so you would keep looking at him

Gets jealous a fair amount but he doesn't know what it is or why he feels it so he just acts pouty

That being said he's kinda indifferent towards your friends for the most part but he doesn't think they deserve you

He's done so much for you to keep looking at him and what have they done? Nothing, that's what.

You trying to leave him would be your downfall

Idk why you would but if you did that's when he fuckin snaps

He's tried so hard and you still won't look his way

Nuh-uh

His thinking does a 180 and now he expects you to do everything you can to make it up to him

If you don't he's gonna get real nasty with you

Not above blackmail and threats at this point

He acts like you owe him everything

Why couldn't you just love him for the jetpack??!?

Shuichi Saihara

S t a l k e r

Fell in love when you were consistently nice to him

Probably sees it as some sort of debt that he can never pay back

Like Rantaro he just wants to make you happy but unlike Rantaro he's doing it from the sidelines

Leaves nice notes in your locker, candy in your desk, and anything he can think to do to make you happy

Doesn't care if you know it's him

He just needs to pay you back for being such a kind person

If you find out it's him he's over the moon

Until you say you want him to stop

W hat???? Why????

He's near tears you fucking monster

When you explain it's just because you feel guilty that he's putting in all this effort he reassures you that it's fine

He would do anything for you after all

Now if you're not a cuntlord like me and you don't want him to keep doing this he's heartbroken

Takes it as a flat-out rejection

And that's when the emotional manipulation rears its ugly head

The worst part is he's not trying to manipulate you he's doing this because he feels like he needs to

And by this I mean he's eating and sleeping less and probably started cutting himself as a sick form of punishment for making you mad at him

You were just too kind to do it yourself so he has to do it

When you find out and tell him to stop again he's sobbing

He just doesn't know what you want him to do any more

You need to be real careful around him at that moment

Reject him and he will lose all faith in himself along with any confidence he ever had

Might kill himself not gonna lie

Choose to accept him and he's listening to everything you say like its gospel

If you want something done it gets done no matter what

Just… try not to abuse your power… he'll make himself sick trying to do everything for you

Overall he's a really big emo and I love him a lot; 10/10 would die for this man

Ryoma Hoshi

Another emo piece of shit

He's a lot like Shuichi except he doesn't stalk you

He just kinda stays at your side

Unless you tell him to go away; then he's stalking you

Fell for you for the same reason Shuichi did except you really had to give it your all

He sees you as his new reason to live and thinks that since you saved his life it's only fair that he spends it trying to make you happy

It's the least he can do

As a bonus, he would totally let you make a whole bunch of short jokes and would genuinely laugh at every one of them lmao

If you tell him to stop hanging around you he is crushed

Starts taking risks like no tomorrow

He smokes 2 packs a day and is right back where he started, if not worse, on the suicidal front

Doesn't even try to make it up to you because he doesn't believe he can

You were his second chance and he blew it

Now he's just stuck in this funk until he eventually just dies

He either kicks the bucket from health problems caused by smoking or doing something stupid like walking into traffic

All he wanted was to make you happy

Kaito “luminary of the stars" Momota

Fell for you when you both were talking about space and you managed to out-nerd him

Wholeheartedly believes he deserves you

Why wouldn't he? After all, he's a fucking astronaut

An astronaut

Who wouldn't want a cool guy like him?

Apparently, you, because when he started flirting with him you shut him down immediately.

Well shit

That's okay! He likes them feisty too!

Tries showing off but nothing's working

Okay, now he's pissed.

Great.

He still keeps trying but on the inside, he's starting to doubt himself

Why isn't THE Kaito Momota good enough for you

Truly snaps for the first time when he finds out you have a boyfriend

Why the Fuck would you pick some loser, who's not even an astronaut, over him: Kaito. Mother. Fucking. Momota.

He's done

Kidnaps you and tortures your boyfriend in front of you

He doesn't even care if you love him as long as your his, you can hate him all you want for all he cares

He might even hate you a little bit back tbh

You're nothing more than a trophy to him right now

Can somebody say yikes?

Gonta Gokuhara

Precious

Too good for this

I can totally see him kidnapping you and keeping you in a giant terrarium though

He would probably fall for you after you weren't afraid of him due to his stature. Also, if you say you like bugs (even just one bug like a butterfly or a ladybug)

After he started obsessing over you he also started killing his entire bug collection

Gonta only collects the prettiest of bugs after all

Why would he need all those ugly bugs when he has the prettiest thing he has ever laid eyes on locked away for his eyes only

Might realize it's wrong to keep you locked up but not before you lose hope of ever getting out and break

Actively tries to get you out of your cage now

Doesn't work though because you barely talk and don't move on your own

:’D

Korekiyo “I will rip out your nerves” Shinguji

Let's get this straight: He doesn't love you.

He's obsessed with you, yeah

But he doesn't love you

He wants to observe your beauty and nothing more

Actually won't kidnap you

Hurray!

He just intensively stalks you

Un-hurray!

It's gotten to the point where he can predict you with ease

He knows your schedule, your hangouts, your friends, and your mother's maiden name

Probably has tea with your mother on the weekends, just saying

He prioritizes watching you above everything, even food and hygiene 

He's getting a little thin… :( your mom is worried about her new friend :(

Doesn't matter because how could he miss you doing laundry!! So exciting!!

The big drawback with this man is that all he does is watch

If you're getting bullied, beat on, made fun of, abused; does not fucking matter

Kukukuku the faces you make while you're in agony are exquisite 

Overall he's not much of a problem unless you don't want to be watched 24/7

….

I still hate him tho

[zacfaq]

PLEASE DON’T SEND ME “PASS IT ON” MESSAGES !! as sweet as some of they are they can be really annoying. i don’t check my PMs here! if you need to get ahold of me either send me an ask, or email me.

apparently necessary reminder: google exists! i’m not a know-it-all source, honestly i shouldn’t even be your second plan after google unless it’s a question specifically based on me or something relating to me

i try to avoid fandom drama as much as possible and keep a generally positive space, so please don’t come and ask me about stuff like that. thanks. 

if you want to commission me please send an email to zacharyjackbaron@gmail.com. do not email me through this address if your intentions are purely social and not work related

-what do you use to record and edit your speedpaints?

i use OBS to record, and edit in sony vegas

-what do you use to draw?

huion gt-191 and clip studio paint

-what are your pen settings?

just the default settings. all my custom stuff/things i’ve downloaded from CSP assets are just things i think look neat but probably never end up using. 

-a blog called papersans is claiming to be you! are they a thief?

that’s literally me, i use it to archive my art so i can find stuff easier without having to hunt through my tag. also available for people who just want to see my art n not my other posts

-when is your birthday?

february 6th!

-what is your sexuality?

gay. i like men.

-how long does it take you to draw?

idk like. awhile? sometimes 45 minutes sometimes four hours sometimes a week. 

-can i draw you/your ocs?

of course! pls show me after it would make me very happy !!!!! 

-favourite band/singer/musician?

i don’t know a damn thing about myself here’s a spotify playlist

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0Zk5o5g7nMnGt0vrJVEcDq?si=7cd248a0b64046ee

-will you do art for cheap/free?

nah. art is currently the only job/income i have, if ur interested in commissioning me you can either find my prices on like, any of my pages, but if not ur more than welcome to email me @ zacharyjackbaron@gmail.com and i can give you prices there !! -(venting or something involving abuse, suicidal thoughts, self harm, bullying, eating disorders, or other similar things in real life situations. even in fiction i’m iffy.)

i hate to sound rude or not be of help, but please don’t send these messages to me. they send me into horrible anxiety  for several personal reasons. if you’re having such negative thoughts i implore you to speak to someone you trust without an anonymous mask, or do your best to seek help from a professional. i have my own things to worry about and as much as i’d like to help, i simply can’t.

-(asking for advice that isn’t related to art)

i would love to help but i’m not an ~all knowing source~. i can’t give you tips for school. i can’t give you tips for life. not only will i probably not know a solution for you but there’s likely a chance i’m in just as bad a situation as you/going through the same problem, as silent as i am about my personal life. also don’t use ‘asking for advice’ as an excuse to vent about things or to send me a paragraph describing in depth something listed above/that’s potentially triggering. thank you.

even if you’re looking fr art tips i’m not a great source i’m still learning, ur best bet is looking for already existing sources and reading through those bc i don’t preach the word of Art God. i’m also awful at explaining things

-why didn’t you answer my ask?

Main reason is i’m just really really bad at socializing, so it’s not anything on u. i’m almost always low on energy and when i do talk to people it wears me out really quick. i’m also just. not gr8 at talking in general so if i can’t think of a reply i tend to just leave things n then end up forgetting about them

-how do you draw [blank]?

honestly my art style is such a fucked up thing that’s so personalized to my own use i can’t do or make tutorials. the best i can do is direct you to my youtube.

-can we do an art trade?

sorry, i’ll have to say no. i’m not necessarily busy but i get stressed very easily, so i try to keep my art to either personal stuff or work ! if you would like art from me, please considering commissioning me! mutuals and friends may be the exceptions here if they catch me at a good time or we make plans well ahead to do smth when we’re both free to work on stuff

-can we be friends?

please don’t ask this. i’m awful enough at socialization as is and i just don’t fit well with most personality types. not to mention this is just overall a bad question. it backs the person being asked into a corner where they either have to say “yes” and end up in a friendship that actually isn’t working out and is maybe only good for one side bc they’re getting any and all of the benefits, and if they say “no” they look like a total dick bag and come across as an ass. don’t ask this question. it’s not how socializing works. it’s not how friendships work. thanks. -can you tag [blank]? unfortunately i’ve been a real bad place in terms of memory so i can’t tag tons and tons of things. i try and tag more general/basic things but i’m sorry i’ll have to pass on specifics. if i post or reblog things that trigger u or harm you it might be best to unfollow for ur own safety!! very sorry

if it’s specific words you’d like tagged please consider blacklisting the word itself. 

-how tall are you?

i’m 5'11".

-can you promo me?

i’d rather not, doesn’t sit well with me. if you have a commission post you want me to reblog i’m happy to! but i won’t just do text based handouts, y’know? not a fan of being used for visibility for no reason, and chances are if i do it for one person it’ll happen with hundreds of others and i don’t want my blog to turn into a free advertisement zone that just floods peoples’ feeds with promotions.

-you reblogged something from someone extremely problematic/unsafe

thank you for letting me know! tell me what it is they did, even better offer proof on it. i’ll likely delete the post and blacklist their url to hopefully prevent their name popping up on my blog in the future. i won’t publish these asks mostly to avoid discourse or in the event false information is provided. sorta just safety precaution i guess

-you’ve done something bad

again, thank you for letting me know! if i post or say something questionable please feel free to message me and i’ll try my best to address the issue and adjust accordingly. i’m aiming to grow as a person so critique is welcome, both on me and my artwork. don’t just come up and call me an asshole or a prick or something, actually point out the errors and explain why they’re wrong so i can better understand and it doesn’t just turn into a defensive round of who’s worse, because i tend to be a very defensive person.

-i think someone is stealing/reposting your art!

thank you very much for telling me! don’t message them right off the bat, come to me first and i will deal with it. i’ve dealt with this shit tons of times and it’s tiring as fuck but i’d rather repeat the same stupid civil message over and over again than start a giant calamity over something and end up with someone getting hurt. if you do get involved please stay polite about it don’t throw insults just a simple “hey this art was done by princeofmints/tv-headache/zachary jack/dirtypip/(etc my other account names) and he doesn’t want his art reposted, please take this down or add proper credit.”

-can i use your art as an icon?

sure man. only on places like instagram, tumblr, or twitter though, and proper credit in an easy to see place must be given. if a piece of art is of my ocs or especially vent art though never use it for icons. thank you.

-can i repost your art?

the answer is “no” but i know you’re going to do it anyways. easy to see credit is mandatory. if you see somebody reposting my art please let me know and i’ll talk to them. if you want to use my art in things like image edits, i don’t allow that. want to use my art in a video? if it’s something like an AMV sure fine just credit me and inform me beforehand, if it’s something like a cringe/comparison video. no. i don’t want any association with work like that whatsoever. you may not use my artwork for fanfic covers.

-can i colour/finish one of your sketches?

no. even if you don’t intend on posting it. 

-what is [insert some form of media/fandom]

https://www.google.ca/

-why do you have an entirely separate blog for your FAQ? you know you can make blog pages, right?

i’m well aware of that and originally my faq WAS set up on a blog page, but unfortunately many folks proved to be either lazy or just couldn’t figure out how to get to a blog page on mobile so i had to set it up this way for accessibility purposes.

-tons of your videos are gone, what happened to them? will they come back? can you repost them?

i set old videos on private for my own sake, i don’t like having my old content available bc it just looks old and stale and i don’t like it. there’s nothing deep about it, i just don’t want people interacting with my old stuff. as deep is it gets is i just deleted videos related to fandoms i’m sick of bc the association is fuckin annoying. these videos will not come back into public. i do keep them posted for my own reflection sake, but that’s it. don’t ask me to bring them back. don’t whine about me not putting shit back out just bc ur a little sad n gonna cry. guilting people is gross, reevaluate yourself.

if you want a song from an old video, just ask me! I’ll happily let you know what the music is in case u liked ‘em and can’t remember the titles or artists. i’ve also got a playlist full of the music i listen to so u can comb through there n see if the songs u want are there

[indigoschool]

I feel like I rushed into something I wasnt ready for. And sometimes I feel like my awakening was a mistake. If I never found out about indigo children I probably would have been fine. Now I'm not even able to function because my mind isn't right and even though im aware of that nothing is changing,Yes before finding out about this I might have been the same but I wasnt aware of it and id rather be unconscious about the way I feel then have to feel it so powerfully that I'm having panic attacks

Pt2. I go to school 4 days a week, for 3 hours at an alternative high school. I only need to do one semester and I can graduate. I was supposed to graduate in 2015 and I didn’t. I got put into alternative school I’ll go for a month or 2 and stopped because I ended up crying and freaking out in school so I’d start over the next semester. This is like the 4th time I’ve done this, this is my second day of school and I was crying because I cannot fucking relax man.

Pt3. I can’t even finish high school I feel so pressured to get my diploma because i feel like its the bare minimum but it’s all fake. Everything is fake and I want to leave. I dont leave the house, I have no friends, I’m adopted for fucks Sake. My mind isn’t right it might be the subconscious Idk. I wish the universe would send something down that will physically help me right now. I tried everything, positivity, crystals, tarot, mindfulness but then I think about mindfulness like a idiot.

Pt4. You dont really have to say anything Im just venting. I'm so sad this is so painful and I feel like no one cares. People say they care cause its the right thing to do. I'm not in your face at this moment crying in your face so you don't care. I want to die but I feel like the universe prevents that because I would never put such pain on my mom. I feel like I need medication or something this discovery has done nothing but make me feel crazy. Idk why im here but it's not fucking worth it.

Pt5. I had a melt down in school because I felt like my presence was bothering someone . How fucking stupid is that. Is it wrong to regret your journey ? Is it wrong to feel like it was a mistake? Is it bad I want to leave? Idk what to do, I'm suffering and im aware that I'm suffering and I'm aware of the reason why I'm suffering but that very reason causes me to suffer. I understand why indigos commit suicide. Hell what if I'm not even an indigo and this was a faze and I just destroyed my life?

Your awakening isn’t a mistake. Reaching higher levels of consciousness isn’t something that shouldn’t have happened. You shouldn’t regret it. Sometimes, there’s an adjustment period that follows your awakening, and this period can be rough. It’s not that “your mind isn’t right,” it’s just that you haven’t adjusted to the new state of consciousness through which you’re now perceiving life. Have you ever heard the saying “ignorance is bliss”? Yes, not knowing about the way things are and the injustices happening in the world may be easier because you don’t have to deal with it, but does not knowing change anything? Awareness is much more effective than ignorance is. I know that you don’t like the fact that nothing is changing, but by being aware of it, you’re one step closer to creating change than you’d be if you were ignorant of it. It’s okay. Don’t pressure yourself and don’t try to regress in consciousness. Keep growing, because the more you grow, the easier it is for you to center yourself and find a way to begin working toward making the world a better place and using your existence to better the lives of others. 

Try to practice mindfulness as much as you can. Focus on and live in the Now, the present moment. This will help to clear your thoughts and reduce panic attacks. By practicing mindfulness, you control your mind instead of your mind controlling you. You have more autonomy and can be free from worrying about how you feel or what’s not changing. The Now is the only time there is, the Now is the moment in which you can use your new level of consciousness to manifest a reality that you’d like to see. Meditate as much as you can as well; meditation is kind of like deep mindfulness, and doing it daily will help you to 

center yourself and will make it easier to practice mindfulness throughout your day. Along with meditation, amethyst, blue calcite, amazonite, aventurine, agate, hematite, jasper, malachite, shungite, smoky/rose quartz, and turquoise are very helpful with panic attacks. Keeping them around your room, on your person, or near you in meditation will help to soothe your mind and allow you to adjust to your level of consciousness.

Edit: I wrote the above response before I’d seen parts 2-5, so below is my continuation. 

Reading this, it feels like you’re trying very hard. You’re frustrated and restless and trying to go to high school but trying to get away from it and trying, trying, trying. Be still for a moment. Close your eyes, breathe, and do this for as long as it takes until your mind is clear and still. Do you feel still? Do you feel at peace? 

Hold on to this feeling. Try to hold on to this feeling for as long as you can. Try to summon this feeling as often as you can. The feeling of having no thoughts, or at least not paying any attention to them. Clearness and stillness. This feeling is what will help you get over the pressure that you’re placing on yourself. Don’t “think” about mindfulness, just be mindful. All it takes is focusing on the present moment. Don’t try positivity, crystals, tarot, etc., just be. Don’t force anything if it doesn’t feel right. If you try those things, expect no results. Lose all expectations. Lose all expectations for your life, for the people around you, everything. Expectations are rooted in the future, and mindfulness means living in the Now. Be here now. Stop trying. It’s okay. Do what feels right. Live your life as if your eyes are closed and you’re following the sound of someone’s voice guiding you. In other words, don’t use your mind and overthink your options and become frustrated with how things are or how they should be. Allow your heart to lead you toward what feels right. Whatever that is, go to it. Trust your heart. It’s okay to be alone for some time, so don’t overthink having no friends. The Universe wants you to have some time to build yourself, to trust yourself, to let your heart guide you. Friends will follow. When you’re at school, be present. Be in the Now. This level of mindfulness will help with the “freaking out,” because you’ll find that there’s nothing in the present to freak out about. There’s only the here and Now, a beautiful space. Be there always and do what feels best in that moment, and everything else will fall into place. You are worth it. Life is worth it. You were born for a reason. I know that may not sound real and it may come off as something I’d just say to anyone, but seriously, you exist for a reason. An important one, too. Your existence is imperative to the Universe itself. Literally. You matter so much. You have a purpose, you have a mission to accomplish here on Earth. You wouldn’t have been born if that mission weren’t something you could handle. You can do this. What you’re feeling right now is temporary and natural, but please don’t dwell in this space too long. Know that you can transcend this. You will transcend this. I care about you and how you feel, everyone else at the Indigo School does too. It’s not wrong that you regret your journey and it certainly isn’t something you should blame yourself for. Like I said, it’s natural. You’re adjusting. But please, allow yourself to adjust. Allow yourself to feel these growing pains. Then grow past them. You can and you will. Nothing you experience is a mistake. Everything that happens is part of your journey. This journey is to prepare you to reach your full potential and manifest your best self so that you may accomplish your life’s mission. It doesn’t matter if you’re an indigo or not. It doesn’t matter what label you put on yourself; the truth remains that you have not destroyed your life, your life cannot be destroyed. Each day is a new opportunity to start over, to do better, to be still and mindful and love yourself. You are not stupid, you are not an idiot, you are a growing being who makes mistakes. That is okay. Suicide will not make it better. You are here for an important reason and removing yourself is not the solution. “Yourself” is not a problem; you are growing and developing, nothing you do is irreversible, and you can do better every day. Please believe me. I love you.