#idk someone plz talk to me about this i need it desperately

[anadiasmount]

can u write three months after break up w Jude u see him at a party....

idk make it wtv u want but can it have angst in it plz?

thank u bb 🖤🖤

“why didn’t you tell me he was here?” you stop in place, gently gripping your friends arm to pull her to the side. she looked almost to scared to speak, her lips moving but nothing coming out. “i haven’t seen this man since new years… and i see him here?” you say to her seeing her wince.

“if i told you, you’d never come, and i hate seeing you stuck at home all day! plus we both need this night out and i know you’re not about to go home to sulk because you’re letting him get to you again…” she recalls making you sigh disappointed while closing your eyes.

“out of all places and days why tonight?” you ask sincerely, your friend shrugging and fixing her purse that slowly draped off her. “please just ignore it and do it for her? she was so excited to finally see you come out and left with us. we can leave after they cut the cake, okay?” she tells you, the hesitation still in your face and body language.

you have to bite your tongue as you approached the table, your hand stroking your upper arm in a comforting manner as you stood there after greeting everyone but him. you refused to talk to him, mostly out of respect, but you knew you couldn’t do it. the pain and sadness waving and coming at you all at once.

you never met his eyes. or when he stood up when he saw you. in pure shock when he saw you. surprisingly he was alone, just his friends around him which caused a small bubble of happiness of not being faced with a girl next to him. you made an escape to the bar, ordering a drink before going to the restroom and touch up.

you felt like you could do it, but all that confidence slowly fell into the drain when you saw him again. you hated yourself for still feeling love for the person who left you when you most needed them. the person who you looked up and valued, the person who made you feel the luckiest girl until he didn’t. anger. rage fueled in you as you thought your choices.

you pushed back tears, avoiding now the huge pit in your stomach and pain in your chest, that seemed to travel even to your rib cage. you sealed a huge lump and smiled in the mirror, letting out a deep breath before walking out to the blaring music. you could see jude by the bar looking around, making you cover your face and return to where your friends were.

you sat down quickly diving into the conversation about a concert you all wanted to attend and a new clothing line that slowly become popular over the days. jude returned back with a silk look, a small frown on his face as he saw you. you looked away quickly, sniffling a laugh at a joke your friend told you.

even though you were sat almost next to each other, the space and distance was present. the space of unspoken feelings and words, space filled with heartaches and a messy ending to a beautiful love story that once took place.

if there was something you could do was ignore. ignore someone, something, an issue, a place, you name it. so you did what you did best and ignored jude. his big brown eyes that stared at you the whole night. no matter where you went or were he continued to stare making your heart race.

jude was desperate. he tried to get your attention but he got the message of you ignoring him after he tried calling out for you but you walked away. he tried to pull you away when you had walked to the bar alone, but failed at that too. had to hold himself back from dragging you out the dance floor due to his jealousy and pain in his heart.

jude stood by a wall, looking at you walk to the booth and sit down, leaning back in your chair as you crossed your legs. jude tried to pay attention but all he could do was stare at the only girl he loved and admired. her shoulders low, her searching eyes, upside down smile. he missed you terribly and his only thoughts were you.

he walked over to you, giving his drink to his friends. he fixed his shirt, running his hand on his chin as her approached you. when you looked up and saw him you froze standing up and trying to walk away but he stopped you. his hands finding their way around your waist and pulled you back. “let me go,” you spoke faintly, jude having to hold back a chuckle as he felt you relax in his hold.

“can we talk?”

“no. so if you’d excuse me-”

“too bad. we’re talking, like it or not,” he grabbed your wrist gently, feeling as you fought back as he dragged you away into a private hallway that smelled like pure cleaning chemicals. you leaned against the wall, avoiding his gaze looking down, with arms crossed and pouty lips. still his stubborn y/n. the one he was still deeply madly in love with.

“how have you been?”

“i don’t have time for this. just say what you have to say…” you said harshly, not caring how it came out or if it hurt him. he hurt you so you felt the want for him to feel how he was making you feel. “y/n, please. i want to be civil and just talk. it’s all i’m asking…”

“are you hearing yourself? you wanna talk? talk about what exactly? how my life is going? what i’ve been up to? where i got my nails or hair done? talking is out of the picture for the both of us, jude. so say what you have to say to save time,” jude winced at your words, the pain returning back as he saw how deeply he hurt you that december night.

“y/n-”

“please jude… don’t make it harder for us than it already is. it hurts me just standing here and looking at you… i can’t do it. i can’t pretend like everything is okay and dropped what happened for a single conversation,” you plead with sadness, finally looking up into his eyes where you once found comfort and love.

“then let’s make it okay. let’s fix and talk it out, like normal people do.”

“like normal people? you’re my ex boyfriend jude, simple as that. and fix it for who? you or me? it’s not fair, i can’t just forget what happened to fix things for us,” you sigh upset clutching you bag as you stood up straighter. jude felt at lost for words because you were right. more than right.

“i miss you…”

you let out a small chuckle, looking back down and shaking your head. “missed me? or missed the person who was just a waste of time in the end?” you feel your legs weaken, tears threatening to rush down your cheeks. “what do you want for me jude? i cant do this again-”

“i miss you. i love you more than ever….” he pauses seeing how your face looks back up at him with widen eyes. “i hate myself for holding onto hope even though i was the one to hurt you… us. i hate how distant and stranger like we are now. how i can’t hold or give you my undeniable love and care. how i have to watch from afar knowing things could be different…”

“jude…”

“please y/n… i’m begging you. if tonight is all we have i just want to spend it with you. prove to you and apologize, earn your forgiveness. all i ask is for us to talk, please. if you’d till feel the same than i’ll accept it, as much as it will hurt more than now,” he walked over to you holding your sides before cleaning your tears away. you hated the effect he had on your still, closing your eyes and thinking about it and then speaking again.

“just tonight…”

[maddytheintrovert]

I write to you from 1 am post-good omens season 2… so spoilers

…

…

Final warning

…

…

So besties, I’m devastated. I’m just so. Oh my. Like ok they confirmed so many fan theories… like

- Crowley was someone high up in heaven

- Crowley and Aziraphale knew each other before the fall

- Beezlebub and Gabriel

- Crowley saying he’s not a lad (what is gender to an angel and a demon, especially Crowley)

- ineffable idiots… oblivious or at least need of a good wtf talk about ur feelings mate

- aziraphale being a horrible driver

… I’m forgetting

And they gave us the bullet magic trick and the following card trick that saved their asses. Crowley turning kids into geckos because he’s Crowley and he doesn’t like murdering kids (also him being like ugh haven’t shot a gun in a bit mate). They gave us Shax being like… hm heard y’all’s were an item, couldn’t believe it, you don’t seem his type and aziraphales face… “their” bentley and book shop. More of Crowley being the worst demon.

…

But then. THE KISS. Oh my gawd. Crowley smashing their lips together and holding on for dear life and it clearly really affecting Aziraphale.

But Aziraphale is still loyal to heaven. He wants to see the good… or he just still is a bit of an oblivious optimist.

When those end credits rolled and they showed the side by side I was desperately. DESPERATELY. Hoping there would be this snap and aziraphale would suddenly be in the Bentley with Crowley. But no. No.

Also Crowleys like slight voice crack when they are talking and he’s confessing and all the tears.

And fuck I’m so scared that because it’s another queer show it won’t see S3 but fuck I hope to manifest it.

Micheal Sheen and David Tennant, I love you but fuck. Fuck.

Also now I’m thinking about David Tennant wearing that non-binary pin and Crowley “I’m not, either” - I.e., I’m not nice and I’m not a lad.

Anyways. Fellow queers and allies wallowing in pain after the end of this season plZ let me know of any and all new fix it fics that have helped smooth your soul bc I am so sad right now.

Guess I’ll go rewatch the kiss. And then be sad.

Also Micheal sheen got to fulfill his dream of kissing David Tennant and vice versa so go that for them. (Idk if it’s his dream but based on Micheal Sheen I bet it’s up there)

[slut4shaundi]

thinking about aisha & boss friendship

[nastybuckybarnes]

Of Kings and Beasts  -  Seven

Pairing: King!Bucky X Princess!Reader X King!Steve

Summary: Born a bastard of the King of Orlen, you’re thrust to the West to marry the Kings. However, the greeting you get is anything but warm, and your life with the King is far from enjoyable. He knows it isn’t your fault his husband is gone, but that fact alone won’t prevent him from taking it out on you.

Warnings: Angst, Injuries, Violence, Language (Maybe)

Word Count: 3.7K

A/n: hello friends! Enjoy this plz. also idk what’s wrong but I’m having a hard time remembering things and my brain is just super mush. I think I’m like, malnourished and exhausted but I really don’t know. Goodnight though, I love you all!

THIS SERIES CONTAINS SMUT AND DARK THEMES THAT MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME AUDIENCES!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!

Series Masterlist

~*~

“How many times must I explain this? I hardly remember anything. I could barely see his face through the snow. I know not his name nor his rank, all I know is that he was wearing the armour of a Knight.” You’re getting frustrated now as you explain for what feels like the thousandth time what happened before you ventured out into the snow.

James and Steve exchange glances.

“I did not send for her. And I know you would not trust her safety in the hands of anyone who has not fought alongside you in battle. I believe-” James stops speaking abruptly, shaking his head. He’s not sure who is trying to sabotage his marriage, and he doesn’t want them to know that he knows.

“What?” You ask softly, stepping towards him. He takes a step back and you frown. You’d thought that after the night you had spent with the man that he would be more open to having you, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

“Nat!” The redhead is in Steve’s office as soon as he says her name.

“I want you or Sam with (Y/n) at all times. You may only leave her side if you are directly dismissed by one of the three of us. Do you understand?” She nods, guilt heavy in her gut at the fact that you could’ve died because of her carelessness.

“Have Clint bring the stable boy here. I want him to give me details. I need to know who the traitor is and why they want my wife dead,” Steve says after a moment, his eyes hard at the thought of someone wanting to bring you harm.

“I’ll go,” James pipes in, avoiding your eyes as he walks to the door, closing it tightly behind himself.

Your shoulders slump and you shake your head sadly. “I had thought that after our night... we may be starting to rebuild our relationship. However, it seems as though he does not wish for that to happen.” Steve sighs, walking around his desk to wrap his arms around your frame.

“He is sad and afraid. He has not been himself for a long while, but he will come back.” Your bottom lip quivers and you curse yourself for being so emotional.

“I do not wish to be the cause of his unhappiness. At times I wonder if it would be better if I stayed away. If I allowed the two of you to continue as if I were not here at all.” Steve turns you around and lifts your chin, forcing you to look up at him.

“You are very important to both of us. If he truly wanted you out of the picture he would not have gone out to find you. You matter far too much to the both of us. He will come around again, he just needs some time.”

A knock on the door pulls your attention from him and you sniffle, wiping a stray tear off of your cheek.

“Come in.”

The door gets pushed open and a red-faced young man scurries in, his eyes focused on the ground as he bows.

“Y-you called for me, Your Majesties?” Your heart warms at the obvious nervousness.

“What is your name?” You ask, cutting Steve off. He raises his eyebrows at you and you simply smile, taking a step away from him and towards the boy.

“P-Peter, Your Majesty. A-and I did not mean for any harm to come to you. I was led to believe that the man was indeed a knight of the king and that the business transpiring was none that should involve me. I ask that you are lenient in your punishment, for I truly enjoy my position and I am so grateful that you have given me the opportunity to work here. I-” You raise your hand, silencing his rambling and looking every bit like the queen you are.

Steve watches from behind you, never having seen you truly take control of the title you have.

“You will not be punished for following the orders of someone who seemed to be an honest man. No harm came from it. We simply would like to know if you have any recollection of his name or his rank. Or perhaps a description of his appearance.” The boy stares at you in shock before looking to the King. Steve simply nods and the boy inhales deeply.

“I did not gather his name nor his rank, Your Majesty. But he seemed tall. Not as tall as the King, Mind you, but still taller than most knights. And his build was slimmer, which I found surprising. I should’ve questioned it and I will spend my days regretting that I did not because our Kingdom could have lost its queen due to my carelessness and-”

“Peter, please stay focused,” Steve says. The boy swallows hard and nods, clearing his throat before speaking again.

“He had... dark hair and dark eyes... bared no resemblance to any knight I’ve ever seen before. He lacked the composure of a knight as well. It almost seemed as if he were trying to mimic the actions of one.” You turn to Steve, brows raised at this new information.

“Thank you, Peter. That will be all.” The boy bows again then hurries out of the room.

“So someone was able to pose as a knight? But who? And why? I hardly have a purpose in the kingdom. Why did I become a target?” Steve shakes his head, wishing he had the answers of which you seek.

“I know not. But I will be bringing this up when James and I meet with the council next. Any threat against our wife is a direct threat against our kingdom, and justice needs to be served.” The mention of your other husband has your heart aching.

“Do... do you think he would talk to me were I to find him?” You ask. Steve purses his lips. James seemed so comfortable with you the other night. He hates the thought, but maybe it’s his presence that is making James so distant.

“There is no harm in trying. Have Natalia accompany you.” You nod, gathering your skirts and hurrying out of the room, the redhead hot on your heels.

“I offer you my sincerest apologies, your majesty. I should have been there.” You shake your head at her, smiling softly.

“Do not apologize, Natalia. No one was harmed.” you pause just as you’re about to walk past the glass doors leading to the gardens, a glint of silver catching your eye.

“You may wait here. I fear having any more of an audience will only have a negative effect,” you whisper, pushing the door open and venturing into the snow.

Natalia stands just outside the door, watching with her hand on the hilt of her sword as you walk down the path towards the brooding king.

“James?” You call, waiting until he looks at you.

“You should not be here,” he murmurs, his eyes closing tightly and his hands clenching into fists. He huffs out heavy breaths through his nose, the air forming a misty cloud that dissipates slowly.

“James, please. I cannot stand the distance you put between us. I am begging you to let me in.” He grinds his teeth together, his face contorting in what looks like pain before suddenly going stoic.

He’s quiet for a long moment, long enough for you to slowly approach him, fingers prickling in the cold winter air.

“James?” You ask softly, hoping he’s ready to open up to you again.

His eyes snap open and in a flash of silver, he’s got his metal hand wrapped around your throat, fingers flexing and nearly crushing your windpipe.

Your eyes widen and you instinctively grab at the metal appendage.

His face is devoid of emotion as he lifts you nearly clean off the ground, the tips of your toes hardly brushing the ground. Your lungs burn and tears of pain and discomfort well up in your eyes.

There’s a whooshing sound and then he grunts, toppling to the left and dropping you to the ground.

You collapse in a heap, hands grabbing at your throat protectively as you draw in huge lungfuls of air between painful coughs.

The sound of metal clanging against metal has your eyes shooting upwards just in time to see two swords connect above you, one belonging to the king and the other belonging to Natalia.

“Your Majesty, get back!” She shouts, her eyes on you for a brief moment.

You scramble through the snow, trying to get to the palace and call for help.

James overpowers the redhead with practiced ease, and then his murderous gaze is focused on you again.

Fear freezes you in place and you stare up at him with wide eyes while Natalia is screaming for him to stop, for someone to come to your aid.

His sword comes down right as a powerful hand jerks you to the side.

The blow that was meant to kill you draws a red line across your cheek, blood spilling out and trailing down your chin.

The hot liquid splatters against the frozen snow, melting a hole and staining the white.

For a moment you’re reminded of your place in the world. A stain against purity. A mistake.

You’re wrenched back to reality by hands yanking you backwards, away from where the two Kings fight each other, Steve with desperation and James with determination.

“Come, Majesty.” Nat helps you inside but you don’t move past the doors, heart hammering in your chest as guards rush out to help the blond king.

“Your Majesty, you’re injured. We must-” you shake your head at her, eyes far too focused on the fight.

James manages to knock Steve’s sword away but is quickly distracted by the other men, giving the blond an opportunity to deliver a nasty blow to the back of his head.

The brunet collapses in the snow, groaning and grabbing his head.

You watch with nothing but terror and tears in your eyes as he slowly pushes himself to his knees, familiar blue eyes looking around in confusion.

They land on you, blood on your cheek and fear in your eyes and he nearly throws up as he realizes what he’s done.

“James?” He shakes his head at Steve, stumbling to his feet and hurrying into the Palace.

“James!” He runs straight past you and down the hallway, disappearing after a few moments.

Steve stands in the snow, blue eyes narrowed and pink lips parted. He pants, trying to gather his thoughts while the cold air bites his cheeks and the tip of his nose.

Steve is at your side in a flash, his hand cupping your cheek and angling your head to allow himself to inspect your wound.

“Just a scratch,” he murmurs, brows drawn together as he glances to where his husband was.

Your eyes, however, are drawn to a movement in the garden.

A familiar pair of muddy brown eyes stand out against the snow and you inhale sharply.

“Steve, it’s him.” He follows your gaze to the garden,

“Guards!” He shouts, grabbing his sword and hurrying out into the snow.

“Please, your majesty. I need to tend to your wound.” You finally allow Natalia to drag you away, but not before hearing Steve mention something about the dungeon to one of the guards with him.

~*~

You toss and turn all throughout the night, missing the warmth of your husband and beyond afraid at the events of the day.

Not only were you attacked, but you also potentially caught the man who wants you dead.

The worst part? Steve has given you zero information. No matter how much you asked, he refused to say a single thing about James or the stranger in the garden.

So that is how you have ended up here, pacing through the dark palace halls in search of your blond husband.

As you’re leaving his empty office you hear a whisper of your name, followed by a soft laugh.

You frown and follow the sound, the voice beckoning you closer and yet getting further away every time you approach.

The voice leads you through the halls for what feels like hours until you find yourself in front of a wooden door that nearly blends in with the walls around it.

Steadying yourself with a deep breath, you push the door open. It creaks loudly and you instinctively look around to make sure that no one heard.

Once deeming the coast to be clear, you slowly walk through the doorway and nearly fall.

It’s a spiral staircase going downwards.

Your heart beats loudly in your ears as you take the steps one at a time, getting reminded of all the times you snuck around the Palace back home.

Through the darkness, there’s a yellow glow that you identify as candlelight.

You dare not step into the light, so instead, you stay tucked safely around the corner, ears straining to hear... anything.

You make out two voices, one of them far more familiar than the other.

“I am going to ask you one last time: who is it that is plotting against me?” Steve demands.

The other man sounds weak, his breath coming in ragged pants.

You risk a glance around the corner, eyes finding the two in the dimly lit room. Th man on the ground is bloody and bruised and you can hardly recognize him until he speaks.

“You’d best be careful who you allow into your circle, your Majesty. I serve my Kingdom, but not all who are close to you are true to their word. Is it not suspicious that so many terrible events have occurred so soon after the Queen was brought here?” Steve's hand comes down hard against the man’s face and you hold back a gasp.

“If you do not cooperate and answer truthfully, I will rip your teeth out one by one and force them down your throat.”

The man spits blood onto the ground then chuckles weakly.

His bloodied face is too much for you, and you turn on your heel and run up the stairs as silently as you can, hands trembling with fear and disgust as you realize that both kings are brutal in their own sick ways.

“You know I speak the truth. The change in your husband has only occurred since your wife has been here. Has Orlen always been a friend to us? Or have they been trying to get into our Kingdom to take what they wish?”

Steve is silent for just a moment too long, long enough for the man to know he struck a nerve.

“If you wish to kill me, do so. But remember my warning. And do not be surprised when she turns on you, too.”

~*~

He doesn’t return to his chambers for nearly an hour after that, and as much as you try, you cannot fall asleep after what you witnessed.

Sure, you expected there to be consequences, but you never imagined that Steve would torture the man with his own hands.

When he finally returns to you, he climbs into bed without noticing your stiff figure.

His arm comes around your waist as it usually would, and you try your hardest not to flinch away from him.

A single glance down shows you his split knuckles and you have to bite your lip to stop from making a noise of fear.

He falls asleep quickly behind you, and you’re horrified at how comfortable he is with being so brutal to another human being.

~*~

The King paces in his office, the question of the prisoner echoing in his mind.

He had not even considered the possibility of you being responsible for the change in his husband’s demeanour, but it only started since you came to the palace.

A weight settles in the pit of his stomach and he takes a few deep breaths to try and calm himself down.

He needs to speak to you immediately.

Just as he pulls the door to his study open, you raise your hand to knock.

“Oh!” You gasp, grabbing your chest and taking a sharp breath.

“You startled me. I was just coming to find you. H-have you any news of James?” Your eyes stray down to his split knuckles and Steve takes notice of the tension in your shoulders.

“He’s locked himself in the east wing. He refuses to speak to anyone but doctor banner,” he says, voice stiff and mechanical.

You nod slowly, stepping into the room when he steps aside and motions you to come in.

It’s silent for a long moment, the pressure nearly making your eardrums burst.

You want him to say something, anything. Explain what happened last night or what’s going on today. You’re far too terrified to ask him, however. After witnessing what you did... you do not want to anger him.

That seems to be a futile wish, however.

“Is he alright?” You try, hoping that this is a safe topic.

Steve doesn’t reply. No, instead he paces slowly around the room.

“Do you take me for a fool?” He asks, eyes finding you for the first time.

“What are you talking about?” You’re genuinely curious, trying to think of what you could’ve done to make him ask you this.

“I will ask you again, and this time you will answer. Do you take me for a fool?” He’s walking to you now, steps purposeful and intimidating, a walk that he has practiced and perfected.

You back up a step, fear coursing through your veins. “N-no, of course not. What is this about, Steve?”

“You will address me properly.” You’ve never seen this side of him before. Except for last night.

“I-I don’t think I am understanding... Your Majesty.” You’re not sure if you are more disappointed or sad, but you drop your eyes to the floor.

“Rumours have been spoken, words whispered of a traitor among us. Someone who wishes for the kingdom to fall. Someone close to myself.”

You furrow your brows, taken aback by the accusation.

“And you think me capable of that?” You demand.

He shrugs but his eyes are anything but calm. There’s a fiery storm in his blue eyes, accusation and rage simmering just beneath the surface.

“I hardly know you. It would be foolish of me to think you are anything more than a spy sent by Orlen.” Your heart hurts and you need to take a few deep breaths before you speak.

“I have been nothing but loyal to you, your husband, and your kingdom. Who might I even have to conspire with? I have not been allowed near the people, and I fear my own ladies because their loyalties lie with you.”

Your words ring with truths that even you didn’t consider until now. Steve opens his mouth to speak but you do not allow him a turn.

“I have not breathed a word of the brutalities I have experienced at the hand of your beloved. I have not even dreamed of leaving the castle walls for fear of what consequences would await such thoughts. From the moment I arrived, I have been treated like dirt and yet you stand here with the audacity to question my loyalties!”

He’s taken aback for a moment. He wants to trust you, he really does, but he just can't. Not after what the man said last night. It makes too much sense that you would do this.

“You speak of rumours... as if you do not have your own to worry about. Your brutality is spoken of throughout the continent. Clearly, the rumours hold true, for your brutality extends far beyond the lines of the battlefield. The kings show no mercy, not even to their wife in the privacy of their bed chambers.”

He grabs your forearms tightly, face full of fury.

“You will watch your tongue, woman!” You huff out a breath and shake your head, face contorting in pain as his grip tightens.

“You are so quick to accuse me when you were nowhere to be found in a time that I needed you.” His brows raise nearly to his hairline.

“Are you implying that I had a hand in that?” He demands, a vein in his forehead throbbing as he only gets more furious.

“I imply nothing, your majesty. I am simply taking note of the fact that you were conveniently away during a time when I was in peril.”

His hand comes up before he can register what’s happening, and then you’re tumbling to the floor, the crisp sound of a slap ringing in his ears.

Your hands tremble and your cheek burns. You stay rooted in place, eyes squeezed shut in fear as he towers over you.

He stands before you, chest heaving and eyes wide with horror at himself.

“Your actions only further prove my point,” you whisper, blinking your eyes open to suppress your tears.

“And do yours not prove mine?” He counters, glaring at you as you rub your aching wrists. Seeing you cower beneath him, so small and so fragile, his anger starts to melt away.

“I would like to remind you, Your Majesty, that I do not benefit from being here. I have only traded one prison for another, and I am not sure how much longer I will endure such treatment.”

He opens his mouth to speak, one hand extending to help you to your feet. His eyes find a line of red on your cheek and he glances down at his hand, the mark on your cheek matching his wedding band.

Now you have matching scratches on either side of your face.

“Do not touch me,” you hiss, glaring up at him with wet eyes.

He’s crouching down when there’s a knock on the door. Sam pushes it open without waiting for an invitation but the look on his face is enough for Steve not to snap at him.

“There’s been an attempt on Doctor Banner’s life.”

[seulgiology]

that’s my type | jeon jungkook

pairings: fwb!jungkook x fwb!female oc

words: 3k

genre: SMUT with an “i love you” at the end , uwu

warnings: cursing, praise, dirty talk, thigh fucking, pet names, choking, a widdle exhibition, a lil pussy spank, ass slapping, piercings, tattoos (are those warnings?? idk), oc loves to mess with kookie lol save him

a/n: GIF IS NOT MINE! sad yer. admin 1 is sadly alive. HERE’S A REQUESTED JUNGKOOK SMUT, I TRIED MY BEST PLZ ACCEPT MY OFFERING TO YOU @itboykook . Also, i just randomly put two names together, so if by any chance that it relates to an actual idol IM SORRY. anygays, being a student is hard and online school is a lot :))), sorry for my inactivity.

disclaimer: This is a work of fiction from our imagination. It is not intended that the plot, theme, original characters, idols, etc. portray any real-life events/people. Plagiarism is NOT tolerated on this blog. If you believe we have copied an existing authors’ work, please message us privately. thank you and enjoy :)

--

Mid July - 12:03 p.m.

Jungkook fit right in with the rest of you, his quiet, odd, yet lovable personality was enticing and it didn’t fall short from the other 6 guys. 

He was the newest and the youngest out of your friend group, only a junior in college. His adorable teeth whenever he smiled that contrasted with his toned body was so attractive and he knew it too. He nearly rivaled Jimin when it came to visual duality.

You all were on one of the campus’ fields, enjoying a rare afternoon of no classes on your spread blanket. You and Hoseok were trying to play a makeshift game of basketball in the field with a random volley ball lying around and your jacket in a circle as the “hoop.” 

You were both dying of laughter from your failed attempts at playing defense and rolling in the grass like a couple of kids on a sugar rush.

Jungkook was next to Taehyung listening to brief him on everything about you, from your flat feet to your unconventional love for Tom Holland. He was sitting comfortably on the blanket, hands resting behind his back as he watched you and... What was his name? Hobi?  He’ll remember later. 

He couldn’t see you too clearly but he knew you were having fun after hearing your bubbly laughter from the distance. You didn’t seem to be coming over towards the others anytime soon so he thought he’d rest his head on Jimin’s plush lap and rest his eyes for a bit, letting the spring sun beat down on his face.

“Don’t you come over here with all that grass on you, Mae, you don’t know whose child was in there pissing.”

Jungkook’s eyes snapped open, and he hissed out at the suns rays blinding him. He lazily shifted towards the direction of the noise and heard Seokjin— Jin grumble to you two. 

You were in the middle of rubbing the loose grass off your jeans when you could feel someone’s stare on you.

Jungkook shamelessly drank in your figure, loving the way your ripped jeans hugged your thick thighs. He could only dream of burying his face in between them and leaving hickies. You were slightly bent over in front of him trying to wipe the dirt off of you, but he had a great view of your full and round ass trapped inside the denim.

Is this what it feels like to look at an angel? Jungkook didn't know what to believe anymore after being graced with your existence. Did he want to worship your body, make you laugh, hold your hand? Or something more? The blood rushed to his center the longer he kept his gaze on you and letting his thoughts take a sexual turn.

You didn’t catch him practically eye-fucking you, but when you looked up and around, you did see him blushing and hastily putting his bag on his lap.

He must be a shy guy. Yet his whole presence makes you want to shut up and be a good girl for him. He was only laying down with his arm propped up for support, and his short black hair was flowing in the wind, making him look goofy with such a concentrating look on his face.

He pretended to be searching in his bag for something as his heart raced when he saw your shadow coming towards him. He tasted the saliva pooling in his mouth at the sight of you towering over him, your nose and ear piercings glinting in the sunlight. 

“I’m Maerin, the only reasonable one here. You are?” You carefully reached your hand out for him to shake with a charming grin on your face, amazed that your friend group just continues to add more attractive men to your circle.

“Jungkook, the other reasonable one here.” You laughed at his statement and his adorable nose scrunched when he smiled with you. You took the vacant seat next to him, and his sight was glued to your physique on your descent, entranced by the minimalistic ink on your arm.

Could you get anymore perfect? Perfect face. Perfect ass. Perfect thighs. Perfect body. Perfect personality most likely. HIs mind raced with thoughts of only you as soon as he took your much smaller hand in his in a firm shake.

He was going to have you one way or another. And that’s a promise he kept. Sort of.

--

Early December - 11:46 a.m.

Those god-awful finals had just ended for you guys and it was time for winter break. It was decided that you all would put in money to go to a ski resort for the break, needing the stress reliever and rest.

And get rid of stress was exactly what you did.

“Fuck, you really don’t know what you do to me,” His hand tightened around your neck in the most pleasurable way, and you were hazy from the dream-like steam the shower was bringing.

He had you pinned against him, his arms held you tightly in place as he thrusted in between your thighs, only sliding his cock against your slick womanhood. You hated not being able to feel him inside you, but he was in heaven when he had you like this. 

Jungkook’s reasonably unreasonable obsession with your ass and thighs played a great part in your friends with benefit arrangement. 

“This is all mine, sweetness,” He grunted in your ear, and all you could do was gasp in response. His wet and wavy locks draped over your shoulder as he sped up his pace, leaving you devoid of any type of release as your thighs tightened around his cock sliding in between them. 

“Jungkook-” You whined to him, upset that he was using you to get himself off. He payed you no mind however, his thrusts speeding up as the unrhythmic slide of his cock in between your folds meant he was going to cum soon. 

"You wanna cum pretty girl? Wanna feel me stuff you so full you won’t remember anything but me?” He moaned in your ear at the thought, torturing himself as much as he was torturing you.

You let out a pathetic but audible yes that you knew had his dimple popping from the grin that adorned his face. You yelped when he manhandled you against the wall and pushed your back down so your ass was to his front. You turned around to see him desperately pumping himself in his hand and his lips slightly parted. The sight had your arousal trailing down your legs along with the water and you licked you lips at his hard cock in his hand.

He pumped his load on your cheeks that were spread for him and he watched it get rinsed away as quickly as it came with the water.

Your body was still on edge when you felt Jungkook rise you up and back hugged you so tenderly, you were ready to fall asleep in his arms at the safety they welcomed. He chuckled in your ear at your languid body and held you tighter. “If you fall asleep you won’t get your reward for being good for me,” his voice was so sweet and you. Why isn’t he your boyfriend again?

“Mmm, really?” You questioned him in a sultry tone, wanting to get him riled up again. You grinded your ass on his hardening manhood and you loved the way he grabbed a handful of it and rolled his hips on you.

“Jungkook, you in there?” You both froze in panic upon hearing Namjoon over the white noise. Jungkook’s finger tips stopped their descent down your stomach and lightly dug in. Shit, fuck, fuck fuck, shit- 

“Yea hyung, I’m in the shower, what’s up?” His voice was unusually shaky to the older man, but he brushed his overanalyzing to the side. “Have you seen Maerin? She said she was looking for you but she disappeared.”

Your heart pounded to the speed the water was hitting you. Namjoon wasn’t stupid, he’d probably figure you guys out, if he didnt already.

Jungkook frowned at you in confusion and you shrugged back at him, your face heating up at the excuse you told the others men to just come see your fuck buddy. 

“She told me to meet the rest of you in the lobby but I wanted to take a shower before leaving. Um... I think she went to get more food before they closed the breakfast buffet.” He lied smoothly, and you sighed in relief and let your grip on hi arm drop.

THUNK!

Namjoon jumped after hearing the load thump and an extremely familiar feminine squeak from the bathroom.

Wait.

Was that Maer—

“Sorry hyung, the soap fell on my foot when I tried reaching for it! I’ll be out soon, don’t wait for me.” He replied in a haste after turning the shower off and giving you a hard look. After hearing the room door close, your body chilled beyond return and your nipples hardened in anticipation.

“You think this is a game, huh?” He tilted your chin up with his cold finger tips and glared at your smirking face.

This was most definitely a game you wanted to play.

—

Late December - 1:30 p.m.

“Who brought the liquor, im trying to get wasted tonight.”

“Jimin, we’re watching Stranger Things.”

“Ok— so where’s the liquor...?”

You smile to yourself at hearing your friends’ conversation, they never fail to amuse you. You were in the kitchen, trying to get popcorn ready for all 8 of you to watch the supernatural show in Jungkook’s apartment.

You leaned on the counter in front of the microwave and listened to its humming as the bag of popcorn started to slowly inflate.

“The guys are here and you have your ass all out like this?” A silent groan left your lips and arousal pooled in between your legs when Jungkook grinded his hips into your ass and grabbed a handful of it.

Your friend group had no idea that you were fucking each other for about 2 months now. It felt wrong to be sexually attracted to each other, especially because you were friends. So you both didn’t want a bad reaction if you told the others.

“Jungkook, someone’s going to walk in—” But you ignored your own words and instead rubbed against him more. You were breathing softly but heavily when you let him cup your cunt through your leggings. He loved it when you wore leggings, it always left little to his imagination when he wanted to guffaw at your legs.

The microwave beeped loudly and it startled the young man behind you into jumping back in fright. Jungkook swallowed hard at hearing your snickering and in a haste, left the kitchen and into the noisy living room instead. He was hard under his sweats, and hated how uncomfortable he was because did it.

They were all seated and prepared to binge watch the latest season of the popular American show when you crept out with two large bowls of kettle corn popcorn.

After they graciously thanked you, you took the obvious seat next to Jungkook on the loveseat. The others expected this, they knew you two were closer than ever. He threw the fuzzy blanket over you both as you cuddled close to the arm chair and put your feet on the other side of his thighs.

Your knees were bent up because you couldn’t fully extend your legs, and it was the perfect position for him to touch you in. He turned to gaze at you under his dark and curly fringe and his earring dangle from the movement.

He discreetly leaned in and whispered, “I dare you to try something while they’re here. Watch what’s going to happen.” The eerie theme song of the show began and you knew for a fact you weren’t going to pay attention. 

You’ve seen the legendary show already. So instead you’d mess with the man directly in front of you.

So for eight long hours you you teased him under the blankets; Rubbing his length with your feet, edging him and never letting succumb to the unusual pleasure. It was exciting to see him sweat while all of your close friends were so close to you yet too engrossed in the T.V. set to notice.

Just as your group was piling out and saying their goodbyes, you suggested that you stay to help the maknae clean. it was late and everybody would be busy the next day but you. 

And Jungkook wasn’t going to let you go that easy.

--

9:54 p.m. [same night]

Your damp forehead was pressed into soft cushion and your hands clutching the closest pillow on the couch as you were hopelessly whimpering for more. 

Jungkook wasted no time in having you ass up, head down with his wet tongue abusing your cunt and giving you a taste of your own medicine.

“You really must think this shit is funny, baby” He said, basking in the taste of your arousal. You whined when he lightly slapped your clit, your hips involuntarily pushing back for more and he arrogantly chuckled at your neediness.

“I asked you a question and I expect you to answer it.” His voice was gruff when his hard and angry cock slapped against your swollen lips, the slickness of it making it an obscene noise.

“Only if you fuck me first.” You breathlessly said to him and wiggled your ass to draw him in even more. His hooded eyes caught the sight and he moistened his thin lips, loving they way your bottom moved.

You both sighed in relief when he finally pushed in, the initial sting always catching you by surprise, no matter how many times he’s done it. 

“Shit, you always take me so well Mae,” He pumps faster, his hips snapping into yours and you cry out from the intensity of it. Your clit throbbed from your fingers circling around it, and your moans were purely sinful. Jungkook loved seeing you like this.

Back arched and your pussy clenching around his length. The way your ass bounced against his hips whenever he thrusted into you. Fuck. His hand came down hard on your already stinging before grabbing them and drilling into you impossibly quicker than before. 

“Please don’t stop!” You cried out, living for the way his dick filled you so fucking full until you you were seeing white. “Look at you pretty girl. You’re such a brat and all I do is fuck you and give you what you want.” He grunted in your ear and kissed right below it, hearing the dangling sounds of your own earrings.

“Ohhh, Jungkook I’m so close,” He huffed before carefully flipped you over and fucked you with vigor, your toes curling and an amazing sensation rushing through you. “Come on sweetness, you’re almost there.” He placed your legs over his shoulder and gripped your delicious thighs so tight, this wouldn’t be the first time you’d see hand prints there tomorrow.

His forehead was pressed against yours as he watched his dick push in and out of your sopping cunt, your cries egging him on to spill inside of you without hesitation.

The feeling in your lower stomach was becoming uncomfortably persistent and with one final rare moan of your name his hips stuttered sloppily and he filled you with his seed to the brim. Your body spasmed around him and your mantra of his name didn’t even let up after you came. 

When you finally came down from your high, your eyes cleared to see the sweaty boy slumped against you, body spent from putting his all into this session.

He peppered kisses along your collarbones and softly massaged your chest as your eyes closed from his blessed hands working on your soft tissue.

He peeked up at you through those unruly locks of his and that boyish charm never failed you whenever he literally did anything. Don’t even get you started on his boxing practices, whew-

“So round two?” He quirked a playful eyebrow at you as his fingers lightly danced over your torso. You giggled when he reached around your waist and applied pressure, the soft skin felt like silk to him. 

“What do you expect an answer?” You giggled up at him, stars in your eyes. You sneakily reached and tickled under his arms, and he let out the most adorable laugh your ears could ever hear. You shushed your laughs with unsuccessful kisses that were even more laughs because of your failed attempts of keeping a straight face.

When he pulled away, his doe-eyes were stuck on your gorgeous face. The way he was looking at you wasn’t unfamiliar, you we’re just too stupid to play it off as the “post-fuck love stare.” But here you were now. Laughing in between his strong arms and pecking each others lips. 

We’ve been friends fucking like this for months and I’m just realizing this now?

“What if I told you that I loved you? How’d you answer to that..?” He trailed off towards the end, his spontaneous confidence wearing off by the millisecond from his impulsive words. 

You could combust with the overwhelming feeling of happiness and your chest felt lighter even with his body of muscle on you. You smiled so wide up at him, you could barely see his own face morph into the dimpled look you’ve grown to love since you first met him. But you still wanted to mess with him for 10 more seconds.

“I would say I love you with all my heart...” 

You think his just dropped to his stomach with the way his face turned ghastly pale and his eyebrows raised in worry. He was not expecting that after your reaction to him confessing his feeling towards you. Was this a joke? But you were smiling... mayb-

“But my ass is bigger.” Your laugh was contagious and he couldn’t even be mad at you cause he couldn’t agree more.

[silvanable]

Idk if hcs are open and ignore me if it isnt!! Can i request an angsty ikevamp prompt? How would suitors react to an MC he likes who likes another suitor? Both suitor and MC's love can be unrequited, and MC could come to suitor to talk about her unrequited love. If you want to make it super angsty, MC could be suitor's first actual romantic interest in a very long time. Plz feel free to choose any suitor, but my favs are leo/comte. I love your writings :) thanks so much!

i know you said headcanons but i saw this as a perfect opportunity to slap down an angst filled fic because i’m not doing so hot and i can’t process emotions unless it’s written format. anyways, i hope you don’t mind!

i figured it was about time i got back to my roots, bringing the unholy angst back that started this blog— 

SO HAPPY THANKSGIVING AND WHY NOT WRECK CELEBRATE THE HOLIDAYS WITH A LITTLE ANGST, EH?

and everyone can cry with me because we all abso—fucking—lutely know that comte would sideline himself and his feelings for the better of others.

↪  GUIDELINES

✒ tags : unrequited love, comte x mc, mentioned mc x leonardo, angsty af, gn!reader mostly but love languages don’t have fucking gn terms

✒ warnings : n/a

✒ word count : 1740

It seemed this was some sort of punishment. It had to be, perhaps to make up for all the things he had done in his youth. Fitting, he would agree, but it did not lessen the pain.

Here you are, sitting in the garden with him.

A wistful sigh falls from your lips.

The things he would do to comfort you. To assure you that you were deserving of all admiration and love.

He would steal your breath with amorous kisses, only daring to relent when neither of you could last a moment longer without air. He would whisper every loving and reassuring word he could muster from his tongue. He would hold you close and keep you in his embrace until you understood how much he adored you.

He would do all these things because he loved you like any other before. You were intoxicating. The way you smiled brought warmth to his chest. The sound of your laughter was a melody he could never tire of. The scent of you was more intoxicating than any vintage wine that ever grazed his lips.

Without you, he was empty and hollow. You had brought the light back into his life. You had offered a hand to him and showed him a gentleness he believed he was undeserving of.

And perhaps he still was because your heart belonged to another.

Comte forced a small smile.

“Ma cherie,” He called your attention. Those beautiful eyes flickered away from the cup of tea in your hands and up to him. His heart still had not gotten used to such a sweet gaze upon him, yet now it was broken with sorrow.

“You said you wanted my advice on something?”

You pursed your lips in response. It seemed you were second-guessing yourself on the need to talk. Comte knew the expression you made all too well and offered a small, encouraging nod.

Another sigh escaped you, far heavier than the one before. “There’s… Someone I like and the problem is, well, they don’t seem to feel the same way.”

What a bitter irony of life.

“See,” You shifted, sitting up and twisted your hands in the hem of your sleeves, “It’s been a long time since I felt something for someone and… I don’t know— maybe I’m just over-analyzing it because they were nice.”

He understood, Comte understood entirely what you meant. After all, he was looking at the very person who had set a spark to his heart’s fire and he would never say a thing.

“Are you sure this mysterious suitor is just unaware of your affections?” He took a sip from the teacup in his hands. He tried to play it off calmly, to hold himself together.

Nothing was allowed to slip through his carefully crafted facade. It took decades to build such a gentlemanly persona and he would not allow himself to fall in shambles, back onto his old ways. No, he had to be a better man.

No matter how much this drove a knife into his chest.

You shrugged, defeated with a gesture of your hand. “I don’t know, maybe it’s because we’re just too different—personal—and don’t even get me started on time-traveling culturally!” An exasperated huff left you, somewhere between a broken laugh and squashed sob.

Comte said your name softly, “Surely there are things you have similar, things that drew you to this person,” He set the tea aside on the table between you both, “Have you confronted them about your feelings?”

As if he was one to talk about such a thing, with you just across from him, yet he hid a secret from you.

A growl of frustration erupted from your throat. “That’s the thing! I’ve tried so many times to find a good moment but any time I start, he somehow always manages to run away!” By now you were on your feet, angrily pacing through the gazebo.

“I mean, did I do something wrong? Is it because he’s a vampire and I’m not?” You vented, too caught in the whirlwind of your growing anger to notice the softness the pureblood gazed at you with.

He understood the fear of that commitment. You were mortal after all, he was not. No doubt the resident—who Comte had a growing suspicion of who, yet would not dare entertain the thought, not yet—feared their long life and falling for someone who would, eventually, pass away and leave them a broken heart.

He would love you nonetheless. If you were his, he would dare to turn you if you let him, so that he could have you to himself longer.

Selfish, yes, but if he had been fortunate enough to have your heart he would never want to let it go.

“Or is it because of the door? I don’t have to go back—hell! I’ve thought more than once these past few weeks about not going back!” You glared heatedly at the mansion. A gaze that was so fierce that the flames of it practically glowed in your eyes.

“But when I mention I might suddenly Leonardo—” Comte visibly flinched, you did not notice, “—is insisting that I go the moment I’m able when all I’ve been trying to tell him is I want to stay for him!”

How could you be so cruel and yet so gentle at the same time?

Comte had only wished you had never said his name, his closest friend. He could feel his heart twist, the ugly head of jealousy reared like a viper, but he forced it down.

He was a gentleman, one of the utmost kind.

Comte’s smile strained but to you, it was sympathetic. “You must understand, ma cherie, as pureblood vampires things are different for us.”

“Yes and?” You turned to Comte, expression twisted and asking to explain how any of that mattered. How did being different like that matter so much when you were so enamored with him that you were willing to give up everything you knew just to be with him.

“Does he not want me and just doesn’t want to tell me?” Your voice welled with emotion suddenly, “Does he think it’s sparing my feelings instead of telling me straight?” Tears gathered in your eyes.

It was painful to see you becoming so unraveled. At that moment, it took all his strength to remain poised and still, to not reach over and take you into his arms and kiss away all of your tears. But he could not be the jealous man, it was not his place, because he was not your lover. He was nothing but your host and he had to remain the courteous host for you. 

 And now of all times, he damned himself for taking that position, because it meant he would never have you.

“Perhaps he believes that not telling you will spare you of forcing your decision, of stealing the life you have ahead of you.” And to protect you from the heartache I feel now.

You sank back into your seat. A disheartened sigh fell from your lips as you put your head in your hands. “What should I do?” You lifted your head to look at Comte.

He could not resist your gaze, the way your beautiful eyes plead with him. He wanted to see that stunning smile of yours again, the one that brightened his days, the one he cherished in his dreams.

It was decided at that moment, he would see your smile again. Even if it meant he had to break his heart to have you happy. To see you happy was all he wanted.

“Let me speak with Leonardo,” He prayed you had not heard the jealousy hidden in his chest in his voice, “I’m sure I can find what is troubling my friend and spare you from any further pain.” He leaned forward, taking your hand in his.

If he could freeze time he would have, to engrave this moment in space and never let it pass. The warmth of your hand in his. How the light returned to your face with newfound hope. The sparkle in your eyes. Everything, he wanted to remember everything about you at this moment forever and preserve it.

Alas, time was fleeting, and moved on despite his desperate wishes. So he had to keep the memory, tucked away somewhere close to his heart, never to leave him even with the wear of time.

“You would?” The eager hopefulness in your voice was heart-wrenching.

“Of course, ma cherie,” He patted your hand before he reluctantly withdrew his touch, “This is an issue you have with one of my residents and I would not be a decent host to let these problems fester when they affect you so.”

You were absolutely beaming, a bright smile that could rival the sun’s own warmth and light. It was something he wished he could have basked in for eternity.

“Thank you so much, Comte,” You jumped from your seat, throwing your arms around him.

The action was so sudden it had taken him by surprise and yet before he could process and return the gesture, you drew away again.

“Thank you!” You repeated, gathering up the dishes from your tea chat, “I should go help Sebastian with dinner.” Your tone was practically ecstatic as you moved back towards the path to the mansion.

All the while Comte only smiled at you. Yet as your figure grew further and further away, fading into the gardens lush greenery, his smile began to gradually fall.

That facade of a caring, gentlemanly host shattered the moment you were gone. Emotions erupted from the tight fist that had held them at bay. Comte pressed a hand to his mouth, restraining the sounds of sorrow that threatened to burst from him. Amber eyes welled with unshed tears.

Emotions rushed over him like a tidal wave. There was no moment to breathe, not a chance to catch himself. No, these feelings grabbed hold of him and dragged him under. He would drown in them and nothing could save him now.

Comte swallowed hard and his eyes fluttered close.

The sky grew darker as time passed him by in silence.

He took a shaky breath and steadied himself, dropping his hand into his lap, as he regained his composure.

“For you,” His voice betrayed the emotions under the calm face, “For you, ma cherie, and your smile.”

[foilfreak]

BEAUTY AND HER BEAST: Chapter 8

WARNING PLZ READ BEFORE CONTINUING: This fic is rated NSFW and contains graphic depictions of things some people may find disturbing or alarming, including, but not limited to: violence, gore, unhealthy family relationships, Oedipus complexes, gratuitous amount of pornographic literature, ableist language, physical, mental, and emotional abuse, etc. If you are someone who does not enjoy fiction with these elements in them, then I suggest you refrain from reading this, because this fic will have all that, and probably a lot more. So, this is your first and final warning to turn around and go somewhere else if stuff like this just isn't your vibe, because from this point forward, your emotional wellbeing is in your own hands, and I will not be accepting blame if you disregarded my warnings and ended up reading something you didn't like. Idk why I feel compelled to write one of these despite this being Resident Evil fanfic, but I figured I'd cover my ass just in case.

(AO3 Link Below:)

Several days had passed since Salvatore had sought out both his younger sisters, requesting items like jewelry or clothing they’d be willing to part with that Salvatore could gift to Nadine, as a sort of soft and informal introduction to ease the young woman’s mind and prove he meant her no harm.

The plan seems to be going rather well, as far as Salvatore can tell. Nadine found the gifts he’d laid out for her rather easily, and even correctly wondered if the person who lived here had left them for her purposefully. She seemed wary of the items for a time, though she seemed pretty wary of everything in the reservoir at the moment, but eventually she deemed them safe enough to accept, throwing the long white nightgown Salvatore had procured from Donna over her petit azure frame, and strapping the delicate golden locket Alcina had graciously donated around her neck.

Salvatore practically drooled when he first saw Nadine, slightly sheer satin nightgown flowing elegantly in the gentle afternoon breeze and golden chain glittering beautifully against her white speckled, ocean blue skin. She looked like a goddess, a true figure of pure ethereal power and beauty. Even the biting cold of winter wasn’t enough to touch the young woman, shielded and protected by her own glowing radiance.

Despite looking every bit like an other-worldly deity worthy of unending human devotion and worship, Nadine’s face held nothing but fear, anxiety, and loneliness as she aimlessly wandered the seemingly empty docks and windmills surrounding the reservior’s watery interior. An occasional dejected “hello?” still echoes out throughout the reservoir every few hours, growing less and less hopeful with each passing round of silence Salvatore spends hiding away from view.

The disfigured man’s heart twists and stabs in pain every time he cowers away from Nadine’s soft, anxious calls, desperately wanting to comfort the young woman in her moment of confusion and fear, but still so terrified of her inevitable reaction to his appearance that he finds himself unable to do anything but skitter shamefully to his room beneath the surface and try to drown her out with one of his old romance films.

How pitiful.

Salvatore spends much of his time lamenting and pitying himself over his soul crushing loneliness and his intense desire for a love of his own, and yet here he is, taking refuge in an old romance film while he hides himself away from the real woman he could be making his own romance film with, were he not a massive coward and a horrific freak of nature unworthy of anyone’s love and affection, of course. What a cruel irony it is, to have the one thing you want, more than anything else in the world, dangled just inches in front of your face, and yet knowing, before you’ve even tried, that it’ll never be yours.

Salvatore knows that no matter how much of a romance story this whole situation might seem like, Nadine will never be able to love him in the way the gorgeous women in the movies love their tall, dashing, dark-haired lover men. Not only was Salvatore the exact opposite of tall and dashing by literally everyone’s standards, but his patches of dry, greasy dark-hair did little to salvage the violent wreckage that was Salvatore’s whole appearance.

There was absolutely no way Nadine would ever be able to love someone as hideous as Salvatore, so perhaps the best thing to do would be to contact Miranda and inform her that, while he greatly enjoyed his gift, Salvatore didn’t feel he would be able to appreciate her in the way she deserved to be appreciated in all her beauty and wonder, and that perhaps it would be better for Mother Miranda to find better arrangements for her elsewhere.

“I-it’s for the b-best… i-i think… a-after all… Nadine… d-doesn’t want t-to live i-in a d-dingy place… l-like this for… for the r-rest of h-her… l-life… m-much less with… w-with someone l-like me… s-she’d hate th-that… im c-certain” Salvatore laments aloud, dipping his head downward as tears of painful realization and sorrowful acceptance pour down his face like waterfalls of lonely depression, already fully set on contacting Mother Miranda as soon as morning came.

“While it's very kind of you to keep my best interest in mind, I do think I am more than capable of making my own decisions regarding what’s the best place for me, thank you very much” a soft voice responded suddenly, causing Salvatore’s head to whip in the direction the sound was coming from in startled shock. “This place is a little rundown, sure, but the windmills still stand tall and the water is always just the right temperature, so I don’t think this would be the worst place to live, if I had to… so long as I wasn’t alone, at least.”

Even in the dimly lit area located at the end of the hallway, Nadine still looked so gorgeously stunning and elegant. It was incredible how she managed to sound so casual and yet look so ethereal.

In the brief moment before his panic set in, Salvatore couldn’t help but pause and marvel at the spot down the hall where the young woman stood, her gaze locked directly onto him and yet she showed no signs of having seen him. She even went as far as to begin moving about behind the large boards that blocked her from entering the room, clearly trying to get a better look at the room and, more importantly, the person she suspects is in it.

After a surprisingly large jump that launched Nadine all the way up to the ceiling, just narrowly avoiding hitting her head, Salvatore’s eyes grew wide and his mouth hung open in stupefied shock as the sight of Nadine, moving the way she was at the end of the hallway, brought to Salvatore’s mind a scene from one of his favorite romance films. In the particular scene Salvatore is thinking of, the actress’ character is an aspiring prima ballerina, and she’s having a brief moment of bonding with her fellow ballerina’s after a long, but successful performance. Dressed in a nightgown not too unlike the one Nadine is currently wearing, the ballerina is showing the others how to do other kinds of dance, like polka or Irish step dancing, but by the end of the scene the group of ballerinas are all merely jumping about the room excitedly, laughing and cheering while carelessly throwing themselves into the air, only to land gracefully back on their feet.

While not exactly the same obviously, the resemblance between Nadine and the absolutely stunning ballerina in the movie, in both silhouette and style of movement, was almost uncanny.

Stretched out as high as her short legs would allow, strong and gorgeously defined muscles flexed almost instinctually with every rapid twist, curl, bend, and jump of the young woman’s tiny body. Her lucious silhouette was only aided by the feminine aura of the long, sheer nightgown as it trailed after her with every movement. The delicate satin material caresses the sharp ridges of her muscular back and shoulders with the same tenderness and love as it does the weight of her breasts or the pillowy layer of protection atop her midsection. The lower half of the nightgown, cinched just below the breasts, twisted and jerked in whatever direction was necessary to keep up with the speed at which Nadine was fluttering and jumping about upon the tips of her toes. Her legs were hidden by the ferocious speed of her movements, but Salvatore did not need to see her legs to have some idea of what they were, or perhaps merely could be, capable of.

Whether or not Nadine was actually a ballerina herself, or if Salvatore’s delusions were merely that realistic now, the young woman appeared to move with nothing but effortless grace that hides the raw power and physical strength it takes to float as carelessly and as quickly as the young woman was, clearly growing more and more frustrated the longer her search failed to reveal what she was looking for.

Still paralyzed by the sudden presence of Nadine in his personal space, Salvatore could do nothing but hold his breath and hope that the light at the end of the hall didn’t reach far enough to reveal his presence in the room. The TV was still on, but the movie playing on it had finished running long ago, meaning the only thing being displayed now was a static filled screen that proved someone had been here at some point in time, but thankfully wasn’t a dead giveaway from the start.

“Helloooooooo… I heard someone talking on my way in, so I know that someone is down here. Please… just come out, ok… I won’t hurt you… honestly” the raven haired woman begs softly, her movements slowing a bit to allow more of her air to be used for speaking rather than jumping to look over beams over and over again.

Salvatore’s heart ached at Nadine’s desperate tone, knowing all too well what the mutant woman is going through right now, but trying his best to remain strong, since giving in means dooming this perfect young specimen to a life of bitter misery and unending terror, regardless of the best effort he’d try to put in. Whatever short term gain Nadine could get from being with him would only come back to bleed her dry once Salvatore was sufficiently attached, and therefore unable to allow her to leave once she inevitably decides that she’s had enough of pretending to love a disgusting freak of nature.

Salvatore had never been very good at accurately predicting the outcomes of situations, but he knew for certain that Nadine was in no way deserving of the hellish punishment that living in the reservoir with him would undoubtedly become, if it didn’t start out that way from the beginning, that is. Perhaps the young woman could convince herself to accept her situation and play into his affections as a means of survival for a short time, but based on what he’s heard of Nadine thus far, Salvatore doubts such a strongwilled and dangerous woman would allow herself to play wife and sex slave to anyone for very long. If she didn’t somehow successfully murder him in his sleep within the first 48 hours of her “slavery”, it would only be a matter of time before she finally ran out of patience and unleashed... whatever the hell it was she did back in the labs, upon him.

For a brief moment, Salvatore entertains the question of whether Nadine could potentially be strong enough to take him out with a single hit, as well as whether that thought should be something he finds arousing or not. His thoughts are quickly interrupted however, by the sound of shuffling and grunting, and upon turning his head toward the sudden racket, Salvatore is horrified to see Nadine, just small enough to fit her tiny body between the thin cracks of the boarded up wall, attempting to climb through the barrier, and enter the TV room.

Body shaking and voice beginning to tremble slightly, alongside his already labored breathing, Salvatore unsteadily backed his way further into the room, putting his hands out in front of him as if to try and stop Nadine from entering, though he makes no move to physically eject the invading woman himself, oddly enough.

“N-nooo… p-please… don’t come i-in...” Salvatore stutters helplessly, shrinking further in on himself in fear as the young woman effortlessly slips through the wooden boards like a slippery eel, quickly and easily landing on her feet before turning back to the mostly darkened room.

“H-Hello?” Nadine calls out again nervously, taking a tentative step forward, both hands extended outward beside her until her left hand made contact with the wall. Gaining some purchase on the vertical slabs of wood, Nadine slowly turns her head to look about the room, carefully inspecting everything from atop the surface of Salvatore’s messy desk, to the very dark corner in the back right of the room that Salvatore himself was currently shoved as far into as physically possible.

Nadine stuck her arm out in front of her and began slowly walking toward the opposite wall, eyes open, but unfocused, and right hand waving aimlessly in the air for a brief moment, as though trying to feel around for the other wall despite it clearly being right in front of her. The hooded man had no idea how she hadn’t seen him yet, he could practically feel how absolutely ridiculous he looked, his bony, weathered, turtle-esque body hunched as low to the ground as possible with his chin tucked between his knees and hands covering the rest of his face, leaving only the smallest bit of space through which he could observe Nadine’s inevitable reaction to him. And yet, despite the amount of time the young woman spent glancing over Salvatore, back and forth across the room, her bright golden eyes resembling that of a ravenous alligator in their intensity and ferociousness, no scream left her plush lips nor did fear and horror suddenly mar her supple face. In fact, not only had the mutant woman not seen him yet, but it was in that exact moment that the reason why Nadine couldn’t see Salvatore, obviously shoved into the corner, just to her bottom left, became immediately clear to him.

“Y-You’re blind...”

[hottie0]

k so i had an idea for a chameron ao3 series of all the fics being conan gray songs but i got lazy and only wrote 1.5 stories for it so because i’m not acc gonna do it imma share the ideas i had cuz someone might find them useful so (btw these will be copied directly from notes the first time i wrote them, they can also be used for other ships if u want but i made them for chameron):

grow: a year after hs cam and charlie run into eachother in vermont and then u see a bunch of flashbacks of old nights and things at welton. they exchange numbers at the end or smth. (i did this one)

idle town: charlie can’t sleep at his new school. he reminisces and whatever. a little more focused on cam. he looks over at the other side of the room but cam isn’t there anymore. instead it’s his new roommate who he doesn’t even know the last name of. end it somehow.

generation why: pre-canon cam and charlie just talking on the roof. banter. romantics ensue on cams behalf. charlie doesn’t feel the same way. that’s why charlie treats him the way he does.

crush culture: charlie pining after cam. a bunch of little things cam does to push charlie over the edge. charlie talks to neil and neil says cam likes him too. he doesn’t. charlie kisses cam one night while studying and cam rejects him and they argue. this is the night of neils death. that’s why cam didn’t find out through charlie and everything hurt a little bit more than it should’ve.

greek god: cameron’s being made fun of all the time by charlie and he knows charlie likes him and idk tbh this one got deleted and idk what i had written

lookalike: pre-neils death cam and charlie dated in their time at welton then broke up which caused tension going into senior year. the dead poets knew. when the dps started charlie got a gf and wouldn’t stop talking about her. her name was elaine. he brought her to a meeting and she looks just like cam. damn.

the other side: falling out of love. the process.

the king: cameron accidentally reads a poem charlie had written for/about him. he stresses all day and acts weird. everyone else is like ??? at night cam decides f it and confronts him. it ends cute

comfort crowd: night time. tomorrow morning charlie was meant to leave welton so all his stuff was packed up. hed already punched cam so it was tense. to say the least. cam randomly gets up out of bed and charlie is like wtf?? cam fuddles around then he’s like “u coming” they go to the cave and have a meaningful talk and if they end up cuddling then that’s their business

wish you were sober: charlie and cameron get drunk in their dorm. cam can’t hold his alcohol well so he gets wayy more drunk. he tells charlie some personal shit. some of which includes the fact that he used to have feelings for charlie. charlie has feelings for cam. he’s sad and sends cam to bed.

maniac: short one. they’re at the same bar a few years later. not with eachother but cam knows charlie’s there. charlie is talking shit abt cam and calling him weird and blah blah. but just that night, charlie had called cam desperate after years. cam thinks abt everything. he gets up and leaves but doesn’t leave w/o saying a big ol’ f u to charlie. this ones so mean to charlie. sucks. anyways.

online love): they’re doing long distance because charlie got expelled. they break up over the phone. aw. make it depressing. maybe by them being interrupted before rly saying goodbye and shii.

checkmate: they’re playing chess idk i couldn’t think of anything better. just cute and fluffy cuz i say so.

the cut that always bleeds: cameron is in a problematic relationship w a girl he met at uni. they just went through one of their fight episodes. cam went back to his room but he needed company. he decides to go to charlie’s dorm for comfort. but they haven’t spoke since that evening years ago. charlie says “i thought i’d never see you again” yadda yadda cam tells charlie everything and they just hold eachother. the gf is like “plz take me back” so cam does and he never sees charlie ever again. cry abt it.

fight or flight: charlie has a gf but little does he know she’s cheating on him. he ends up catching her with her side piece in their apartment. it’s cameron. there’s a whole wtf moment and the gf is like “u two know eachother???”. cams like “i swear i didn’t know” the girl leaves but cam stays. they argue or whatever or just talk not sure yet. then they kiss and charlie says something dumb and it ends. also cameron is hot as shit in this btw.

affluenza: probs short. when charlie is getting ready to leave cam is like “so money can’t buy happiness” and charlie’s like tf did u say to me. they talk abt where charlie’s going and whatnot and money. “i can’t do the things you do charlie, don’t you get anything” charlie leaves feeling a bit more guilty.

(can we be friends?): cam and charlie’s life growing up together. cute moments of them falling for the other. “now charlie knows why he and cameron could never be friends.”

heather: charlie and knox are together. cameron likes charlie. one night charlie is drunk and it’s just cam and him in the dorm. charlie ends up kissing cameron as a joke and cameron doesn’t know. there’s a fic like this. after the kiss it’s never the same. knox doesn’t know what happened. cameron has to watch them be all buddy buddy and shit- even if they’re not out to the rest of the group, cam knows. cameron knows not to interfere with their relationship no matter how much he wants to. he chooses to sit and watch and keep all his feelings inside.

little league: charlie stops by a cafe one night because he has nothing else to do. it turns out it’s open mic night. someone gets up to read. that someone is cameron. cameron performs a poem called little league. charlie remembers things. he leaves before the poem is over. /OR/ Cameron is an adult, he's a doctor or smth bouj, he has a family, a house, the embodiment of the american middle aged straight white man dream life. But sometimes, in secret, he takes Welton's Yearbook out of the shelf, and he traces Charlie face, and he remembers.

the story: cameron and charlie are late-night swimming in the lake together. they’re fantasizing abt whatever and charlie says “we should run away” they continue the convo like they did the others. a few days later charlie brings it up again, seriously this time. “what? dalton are you on something?” no. they get into an argument and shit. about a week later cameron wakes up to charlie sneaking out, but this isn’t sneaking out like dps meeting sneaking out, he’s running away. cam: “charlie? what are you doing up?” charlie: “this is your last chance. you coming?” cam: *thinks* no.

fake: ratting on keating and more angsty mess

overdrive: first kiss moment. they’re meant to be studying but they got distracted and are just talking instead. charlie’s like “cam have u ever kissed sum1” cam: “i think u know the answer to that dalton” charlie: “do you want to” cam: “ha! that’s a laugh! who can i find within a mile of here that i could kiss” charlie: me. whole carpe diem whatever- “charlie are you kidding do you know what would happen if someone found out!?” “so i won’t let them” but they kiss and it’s cute

astronomy: au: cam never ratted out keating but neil still died but just that whole thing never happened. ok. ever since neil died both cam and char were different. their relationship was tense. before it had been perf and everyone was envious of them but after neil everything changed. cameron was more agressive and easily irritable. charlie was more reserved and quiet. they tried to fix it but they decided it would be best to split. they still saw eachother in hallways and stuff, but were no longer roommates. after a couple months, they were strangers.

people watching: a view on the cameron/charlie relationship from other people. they’re opposites obv. when ppl were first informed they were taken aback to say the least. but when they see how they are together they get it yk? yeah u do.

ur welcome for my genius guys u need it.

[kaissauce]

As excited as I was to see you meet the Skeligums because haha funny Skellyman, I was also hoping to hear your thoughts on Loquat's dungeon since it's probably the one that confused me the most. It's not made entirely clear what their problem is besides their surface level issue of "sentient house broken, plz fix." Obviously Stavros and Gravis's real issue has to do with their marriage, but I can't for the life of me figure out what specifically the issue is or how Loquat's being affected. Are they taking their frustrations out on Loquat, are Gum Key and Skel Key accurate depictions of their real world counterparts, does cleaning Loquat have any actual effect on Stavros or Gravis? idk, i just feel like I'm missing something really obvious here. As, i assume, the biggest (read: only) Stavros fan, do you have any thoughts or theories?

I'm pretty sure the issue between the two is the lack of communication between the two. The love they have seems one-sided

Notice how Gravis never says "I love you" to Stavros even when the anodyne is coming

Even talking about each other it's clear that Stavros is getting more out of this relationship than Gravis

Imbalance in love isn't necessarily bad but that's a big contrast. This brings up the first problem which is Gravis not feeling the same things as Stavros which makes an imbalance in love in the relationship. WHich wouldn't be that big of a problem if Gravis just TOLD Stavros. Stavros is the one that seems to have more power and love in the relationship, as he feels responsible for taking care of Gravis

What Loquat says after being cleaned confirms my suspicions that Gravis isn't telling Stavros their true feelings. Stavros himself isn't being honest too; assuming Skel key truly is an accurate deception of Stavros

And if Gum key is an accurate deception of Gravis then that means they are probably homesick, but trying to convince themself they aren't because they have someone who loves them unconditionally.

Gravis is neglecting to tell Stavros that they're feeling homesick possibly because they don't want to hurt his feelings because they do care about him, but probably not as much as Stavros loves them.

Stavros is a bit harder to figure out, but it might be that he likes the feeling that Gravis gives him more than actually loving Gravis? eugh this is hard to word but it's like how some people like the idea of being in a relationship more than the person they're actually in a relationship with. Like Stavros was alone before Gravis showed up. Who knows maybe Stavros would've fallen in love with anyone he met just because he was alone for so long

As for why neither of them communicate to the other: they're probably scared of the relationship ending even though things would improve if they just communicated, y'know like how you do in healthy relationships. So they live in denial instead because they're used to it and neither of them probably have any relationship experience and it's getting to the point where they are dependent on each other.

I'm assuming Loquat is made of clay as it cracks from stress (normally physical stress ofc, but in this case mental) and really cleaning the dust only delays the inevitable and the only affect it has on Stavros and Gravis is "yay our house won't crumble as fast now" and doesn't actually help their issue at all, it just allows them to suppress their doubts and concerns that need to be said for longer.

Skel key and Gum key showing their "love" for each other represents exactly what's going to happen if this keeps up: they are going to end up destroying each other unless they communicate

In conclusion: SOMEONE PLEASE GET THEM A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR THEY ARE IN DESPERATE NEED OF ONE

[sibylsleaves]

OKAY no one asked me but I’m telling you all anyway. My Unified Theory of When Dean and Cas Should Have Gotten Together.

Under the cut because this will get long (& rambly)...

Season 8 is when Dean fully comprehends his feelings for Cas. Having torn through Purgatory to find him and having thought he lost him, he finally realizes he’s been in love with him for a while. But once Cas actually returns, Dean realizes that he’s not in a state to be able to accept Dean’s love or enter into a relationship or whatever it is Dean wants from him. So he decides to back off. But in 8x17 he can’t help it, and as he’s trying to get Cas to come back to himself (and stop beating the crap out of him), the truth slips out (original script ftw sorry jensen). And Cas leaves.

In canon, Dean is clearly devastated by Cas’s disappearance. I see no real reason to change anything that transpires here—Dean is still pissed, Cas is still contrite, it all basically fits with the added bonus that Dean is also mad because Cas disappeared after his big confession. So while that is hanging over them throughout the end of s8, Cas makes this decision to close up heaven. We still get the same goodbye scene in the bar, except now with the added weight that Dean has told Cas his feelings and Cas is still deciding to leave him, or so he assumes. He doesn’t know how to ask Cas to stay, so he doesn’t. Everything still kinda unfolds the same from there, the angels fall, etc. etc.

s9: here’s where we get maximum angst. Dean is desperate to find Cas now that he’s human, and once Sam starts to heal up he’s off. This basically matches canon as-is, but maybe we get some lingering convos with Sam that are like, Dean has some unspoken reasons why he’s SO worried about Cas. Anyway, they find him with the Reaper, Dean saves him, etc. it all works out. Dean is THRILLED to have Cas back and he’s working himself up to revisiting the ~feelings convo with Cas to see if he’s receptive to it or not when fake Ezekiel dashes those hopes and makes Dean kick Cas out. Really tragic goodbye scene where all Dean wants to do is tell Cas he loves him and take care of him, but he can’t. Maybe we even have some indication that Cas is about to confess his feelings for DEAN—maybe in talking about the Reaper and his first experience with sex (honestly this entire convo can stay, including Dean’s overly excited reaction. like.) There’s some exchange where Cas is like, “i liked it, but I couldn’t help thinking it would be better with someone I trusted. Someone I…” and stares significantly at Dean and Dean finally has SOME indication that Cas feels the same way about him. But then he is forced to abandon him.

The next few filler eps can have some additional emotional baggage from Dean where we see how deeply it hurts him that he had to turn Cas away, and how much he regrets not being able to tell him he loves him again. That thing is still between them and he knows it, but he can’t do anything about it. Tres tragic. Maybe this can be parallel with the Charlie episode, maybe Dean is even able to open up to Charlie about how torn up he is about Cas—like rather than the home convo as it stands it can be more like Dean being like, I gotta say I’m really happy to have you here Charlie, the bunker’s felt…empty. and Charlie is like, Sam said your friend Castiel left. idk i just want some charlie and dean bonding over the queer experience plz.

Anyway. s9e06 can stay…almost entirely intact. Like this episode is already so “jilted ex lover hour” we really don’t need to change anything. Genuinely, this episode makes MORE sense in this context.

Ahem. MOVING ON. they meet back up in 9x09 and we can get slightly more pining/lusting after Cas from Dean though he knows full well he can’t try to start anything bc Ezekiel is still around. but boy does he WANT to. And Cas is gravitating towards him as well, and despite the hurt between them Dean is hopeful. That maybe when Sam is healed up he can ask Cas to stay. And that maybe he will.

But then the shit with Gadreel goes down and after all that drama and getting Sam back, Dean decides to go off on his own out of guilt. We get an ACTUAL goodbye scene between him and cas, thank you very much! In this scene, Cas tries to make his feelings for Dean clear, but Dean won’t hear it. He’s “poison.” and cas is better off without him anyway.

The rest of this season unfolds pretty much the same. But once we hit 9x22 Stairway to Heaven: we get Cas’s confession to Dean!!! This really feels like the most natural place for Cas’s side of the equation to resolve, because this is the most clear example of Cas giving up his duty/loyalty to heaven for Dean since s4. It’s a very romantic gesture, all said, and feels like a natural place for those feelings to resurface and finally get dealt with. At this point the actions are pretty clear. We cut from Metatron saying “he’s in love….with humanity” we immediately get a scene with Cas and Dean—it is basically the canon scene except when Dean is like “you just gave up an army for one guy…” he kinda pauses and is like, “why’d you do it, Cas?” and Cas is like, for the same reason that I couldn’t kill you when Naomi was controlling me. For the same reason that I have done…everything I’ve done since I rebelled against Heaven. Dean…

AND THEN GADREEL WALKS IN uh oh.

At some point in the next episode, not sure when, we finally get a follow-up convo OR an indication that a follow-up convo is desired between both of them. Cas makes his feelings clear. IDK where this would go but I want the big confession scene to happen here so that when Dean dies it’s EVEN MORE wrenching. Because finally they are gonna let themselves have what they want, only to have it ripped away.

So s10. Beginning stays ultimately the same with Cas dying and pining after Dean. Sam trying to cure Dean and then Cas showing up in 10x03. This final scene with them has far more romantic overtones — Dean is a little flirty with Cas. it’s a little awkward but sweet. Cas still says “it’s quiet out there…maybe you should let yourself heal. Timing might be right.” Dean thinks about this for a second and goes after him, being like, “Timing’s never been our thing Cas, but maybe you’re right” and kisses him.

So you might wonder, WHY 10x03? why not a season finale? Well I think a season finale could work if it was in s11, but assuming we want to keep the main storylines more or less in tact, I actually think this is the perfect time for them to finally come together. We get dramatic love confessions at the end of s9 for maximum drama, but truthfully the season finales are always full of so much drama and cliffhangery stuff that it wouldn’t really make sense for them to get together! 10x03 on the other hand makes total sense--yes, Dean still has the Mark of Cain, but I think him being cured of being a demon would have given him enough hope/respite to actually revisit his feels for Cas and act on them. In canon we do get to see Dean take a bit of a “break” right after this, so I feel like it would make sense for this to be a time where he can let his guard down and actually give his feelings room to breathe. And on Cas’s side, yes he’s still helping Hannah with the angels and still without his Grace, but he’s also solidly (as of 9x22) decided not to take on that much responsibility vis-a-vis heaven, and I feel like despite his duties he would be SO relieved to have Dean back that he would also be willing to open himself up to dean’s feelings once dean made the first move.

ALSO the scene with Dean and Cas in The Things We Left Behind is just.....literally like a date scene so I want them to literally be on a mini (case-related) date at that point.

Anyway now I’m curious if anyone else has their own like...headcanons/opinions about when in the series Dean and Cas SHOULD/COULD HAVE gotten together (other than...some time in the future). So please feel free to add your own! I may also rb with my headcanons for the rest of season 10 (& seasons 11-15) based on this premise.

[trashinaglass-archive]

Want You Back

Tom gets back with his ex, y/n

Request: could you plz do an imagine (with tom) where the reader is his ex and his stalking her ig and sees another guy (someone like shawn, idk) and gets jealous and then he calls her or smthn and then they getbck together?

A/n: I’m assuming you mean Shawn Mendes?

I did my best. Hope you like it.

“What a babe”

Tom stared at your latest post. He hated how you act with Shawn. He hated that you were dating him- that he had lost you to him. He thought he would be better off without you. Turns out, he needs the exact opposite.

Tom began to scroll down your profile, looking at your posts. You opted to keep the ones of him up, deciding it was too much of an effort to go through and delete them all. So you say. He hoped it was actually because you still loved him and were willing to take him back.

He felt his heart tug seeing the memories of the two of you.

“You’re the one that I want” - Halloween night when the two of you dressed as Sandy and Danny from Grease

“The real reason I join the golf trips” - You holding up a beer while Tom held up his club

“Tis the season” - Christmas decorating and Tom holding a mistletoe over the two of you

“Only you” - A sneaky photo of you and Tom’s intertwined fingers resting over the duvet on your bed while you cuddled

It was just too much. A stray tear fell from Tom’s eye as he thought of you, a hand coming up to angrily wipe his face. He couldn’t do it- he couldn’t let you go that easily.

Standing up, he walked to the counter and grabbed his keys to drive to your house, slightly hoping that Shawn wouldn’t be there. He looked intently at your driveway as he pulled up to your place- no unfamiliar vehicles present. Parking the car, he moved to the door to speak to you.

He knocked on the door twice before stepping back, waiting for you to open the door for him. His eyes widened slightly as he heard footsteps approach.

“Tom?” You asked confused as you opened the door. You were dressed in pajama shorts and a baggy t-shirt, hair disheveled as if you had been in bed- admittedly you probably were, it was pretty late. “What are you doing?”

“Y/n, I-“ Tom started but stopped, thinking about what he needed to say. “I know you’re dating him now, but I can’t let you go.”

“Tom-“ you breathed out, exhausted and not wanting to listen to it.

“I’m not kidding. I know what I said- I know I thought we would be happier separated, but I can’t do it, y/n. I love you, and I need you in my life, by my side. My schedule can wait, I want to make time for you and to be with you. I’m not letting anything get in my way again,” he said confidently. “I still love you, and I will never be able to move on from you.”

Tom looked at you, waiting for an answer. You slightly shook your head before answering, “what do you want me to say? That I’ll drop everything and take you back?”

“That’s the best case scenario I can think of,” he muttered.

“Tom, you were the one that wanted this,” you said, your voice breaking only slightly. It was that break that made Tom hopeful. He hated to see you cry, but seeing the tears and emotion convinced him that you still loved him.

“I was wrong. I made a mistake- you know me, I always make mistakes. This was just one huge fuck up and I’m trying to fix it. Please, y/n, let me fix it.”

“What about Shawn?” You asked him. As much as Tom wanted to deny it, you did have a boyfriend and that wasn’t just something you could drop at a moment’s notice.

“He may tell you he loves you, he may tell you he needs you, but I swear that he will never mean it like I do. I’m not one to challenge others or pick fights, but I love you more than he could ever imagine, and I will do whatever it takes to get you back.” Tom’s jaw began to clinch as he spoke, making you want to reach out and touch him. “Just let me in, and we can talk and figure this out.”

You took a deep breathe and looking down, thinking about it. You knew letting him in would be a dead yes- you really did miss him, as much as you wanted to deny it- and you didn’t know what would come from a ‘no’. You looked back at him before nodding your head and stepping out of the doorway, letting him in.

“Thank you,” he sighed before hurrying through the door, going straight for the living room. He sat on the couch and turned to look at you as you sat on the loveseat perpendicular to him. You looked at each other for a second before you broke the silence.

“When did you change your mind?” You asked him. He was the one that broke your heart and left you to repair it yourself. You had desperately hoped that he would come back for you, but months passed and he didn’t. You weren’t completely over him when you began dating Shawn.

“I don’t think it was a change of mind as much as a realization. With my job, the commitments I have, I left you so much that I thought that breaking up and going our seperate ways would be the best but-“ Tom began and stopped. He shook his head, looking away from you as he gathered his thoughts. “Being without you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. You were so supportive and understanding and loving. Even when I couldn’t bring you with me, you were still there for me. Not having you to lean on, I felt so lost.”

“So... getting back with you is just to benefit yourself?” You asked, mostly wanting to give him a hard time. You felt proud of yourself seeing his eyes get wide in slight panic.

“No! Definitely, not!” He replied quickly. “I will do everything in my power to do better for you. Anything you need- anything you want, it’s yours. Wherever I have to go, I will take you with me. If you can’t go, I’ll make the effort to call and talk to you. Everything I didn’t do before will be a thousand times better than you’d ever expect.” Tom looked at you intently, trying to gauge what answer you were leaning toward. “Just please tell me you’ll give me a second chance.”

You thought about it for a second before changing the subject. “How’s your family doing?” You asked Tom. He let out a breathe, knowing how you were. Changing the subject meant you had to think about it, but he didn’t want thinking. He wanted an answer. He slightly huffed before talking.

“They’re good. Paddy really misses you- everyone misses you, but Paddy took it the hardest,” he informed you. You felt your heart pull at the thought of the younger boy.

“Really?” You asked sadly.

“Yeah,” Tom said, a slight chuckle in his voice as he thought of his brother. “He wouldn’t talk to me for about a week. He was pissed.”

“He’s a sweet kid,” you said thoughtfully.

“He isn’t when he’s mad, though. That was one tough week.”

You laughed as you imagined Paddy mad and yelling at Tom. You continued talking about life, family, and jobs- catching up on everything you had missed since being apart. You had planned for Tom to stay just a few minutes, maybe an hour, but you got so caught up in each other that you talked all night. You only stopped when you heard a car pull in your driveway.

“I’ll be right back,” you told Tom before standing up, walking out the door to meet the driver before he went inside.

“Hey,” Shawn said as he stepped out the car door, moving to kiss you. You dodged it, looking away from him as you thought of what you were going to tell him. “You okay? Who’s car is this?”

“It’s Tom’s,” you admitted, looking up to see his face, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“Ex-boyfriend Tom?” He clarified, prompting you to nod. “What does he want, and why is he here so early?”

“He’s been here all night. We were just talking about life and stuff,” you began to speak quickly.

“Did you kiss him?”

“No,” you answering, a hint of disappointment in your voice.

“Did you want to?” He asked, beginning to catch onto the situation.

“Yeah,” you said, sighing as the words came past your lips.

Shawn nodded his head, processing what was happening. “Okay,” He said, looking away from you. You opened your mouth, but closed it again before speaking.

“I don’t know what to say,” You said softly.

“I do,” Shawn replied quickly, upset. “You still love him. I desperately hoped you’d be able to forget him and move on, but you never did.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. You two are obviously meant to be together, I’m not going to stand in your way any longer.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. You’re such a great guy, and I really do like you, but,” you trailed of trying to think of the words to say.

“But I’m not him,” Shawn finished for you. You cringed at how bad it sounded, but it was true. “It’s okay. I get it, and I wish you two the best.” He reaches out to you, giving you one last hug.

“Thank you.” You pulled away from him and watched as he got in his car and drove away, waving goodbye. You released a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Turning around, you walk back into your house where you found Tom sat right where you left him.

“I guess people deserve second chances after all,” you said, making Tom turn around quickly.

“So you’re my girlfriend again?” He asked excitedly, standing up to move beside you.

“Only if you don’t fuck up again,” you teased, a grin coming to your face as he wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace, lifting you off the ground. You laughed at his reaction and placed a hand on the back of his head as he buried his face into your neck as he placed little kisses along your skin.

“Thank you,” He said after he put you down, a big smile on his face.

“Better call Paddy,” you said making Tom laugh before your lips connected for a long overdue kiss.

[lexosaurus]

wait what didn't you vibe with ultimate enemy

I dunno I think I was put off from the way Danny was treated for his “cheating.” Like, okay, the concept of TUE is cool. Very angsty and traumatizing. Right up my alley. 

My issue is that, doing some mild “cheating” (that, let’s be honest, wasn’t really even cheating. I mean, did Danny even look at the answers at all? Like really look at them? In any way that was more than just a passing glance?) doesn’t really warrant having to watch your future self murder everyone you’ve ever known and loved.

Yeah yeah cheating is wrong blahblahblah but idk I guess I just don’t see it as THAT big a deal (for reasons I will explain plz wait). Then again, you’re talking to someone who only passed high school physics because they cheated on EVERY exam. So, you know, now you know where my morals are at.

Idk I mean teach kids that cheating is wrong, but also how about we fund schools so they can actually hire adequate teachers to teach the material? Stuff like TFA is cool because it ensures that schools actually have teachers at all, but like, those teachers aren’t qualified for their positions. How the fuck is a kid supposed to learn math if their teacher was a goddamn International Relations major in college or something? The teacher sure the hell doesn’t understand what they’re talking about. What makes you think the kid is gonna understand that then?

I don’t think—rich parents college case aside—that kids cheat because they’re terrible people. I think they cheat because they’re desperate. Telling a kid that if they cheat in school then their parents will die and they’ll become a murdering criminal isn’t going to stop kids from cheating. Funding schools so they can buy textbooks and go to teacher conventions to get new lesson plans and hiring qualified teachers and giving funding to IEP programs so struggling students can get the extra help they need—those are the things that are going to stop the majority of kids from cheating. Not…whatever the hell TUE was.

No one enjoys going into an exam unprepared. Kids like learning, they like feeling smart, they like walking to school confident in the material. No one chooses cheating as their first go-to thing. Students resort to cheating when they’re stuck between a rock and a hard place and they don’t want their grade/future to suffer because of one bad test. And you know what can help kids not get put in these situations? Qualified teachers with plentiful resources and lots of books and a good network of support! Which many schools in the US are currently lacking.

Yeah I guess TUE just kinda rubbed me the wrong way for that reason. Again, I love the concept and the angst. I just hate they way they set it up. 

[darkzero84]

Lost

Idk how to put this or how it sounds but I need a friend someone to talk to it doesn't matter to much about what we talk about I just need someone to talk to that's willing to put up with my depressed and loneliness. Everything seems around me seems meaningless. So as my last act of desperation plz be my friend.

[roses-ruby]

7

part 2

00:00- You know how BTS always say they know how hard we have it and they want to be a source of comfort for us and that is a big reason for their existence? The vocal line deliver us that very comfort through this song. Jimin and Jin’s soft harmonization with V is a masterpiece. They want us to come back safe after a long day and just turn this song on, they want to relate to our pain and even if just a bit, lessen it. They want us to take a breath with them. The fan and celeb relationship has always been an equal give and take in my eyes - you give them happiness by supporting them and they give you happiness by supporting you. BTS are really the only idols out there verbalizing their love for us to this extent. I love this song, I could listen to it forever.

Inner Child- This song is so beautiful omggg Tae had one of the biggest character developments in the public eye imo. He used to be so so so silly. To me he is still the hardest person to figure out. If you think about it, how much do you actually know about Kim Taehyung? Has he not been the most private member in BTS by far? His aura’s just so different now, like he has gone through way too much. And as of right now, do any of ya’ll think of him as the same kid who said “turn up” in front of Coolio??? 🥴🤧 idk idk I’m rambling but the point is, Taehyung is different. His eyes were bright and heart was big but he was hurting. You’d never think that hyper, smiley kid was worried about the future. Someone who said he thinks bunnies are on the moon didn’t believe in galaxies. The always laughing kid, Taehyung wishes he would smile more genuinely. Imo we don’t know who the past Taehyung was and we never did. Tae is the only person who knows his true self, he’s the only one who will take care of himself. I’m just glad he has his own back.

Friends- Sounds like a movie honestly. The beat feels like an early 2000s romcom sksksk. In the idol life, the people you are in a group with are your coworkers. But Taehyung and Jimin have built a relationship beyond that. They’ve become so close and they are recalling all of that through this song, it’s so endearing. They do fight often but they also have the healthy understanding that these petty fights will never damage their relationship as a whole. They call one another soulmates because they honestly believe they were destined to meet. This is a sweet and intricate song that I don’t think needs an interpretation. If you met someone like Tae met Jimin, then you can truly relate. That feeling of “shit this is my other half...i wanna stay with this person” ssjhdshkd bruh singles look away. Vmin out here breaking hearts and I hope they will stay together far longer than forever.

Moon- Jin always out here making us feel beautiful wtf wtf. Jin my lovely boy, the one who always teases us first sldkhd he’s seriously such first love material it hurts. I love him. I love the way he loves us. The lyrics are so beautiful he wants to be our moon and we want to be his plz this is that “I love you more” “no I love you more” couple everyone hates but secretly wants to be sjkssk imo Jin has the most beautiful vocal tone, I’m addicted to his voice which is why I loved epiphany as much as I did. we all know he deserves so much more appreciation. I just want Jin to know he consistently awes me by his choice of solos and I’m desperately waiting for that solo album. I love him so much thank you for being my brightest moon.

Respect- Literally screamed when I saw the lyric to this song. YES kings tell them you remember how they treated you before the fame! You remember the constant bad mouthing and hate comments and lawsuits. You remember the disrespect. Tell them their “respect” means nothing now akhdka The industry treated them like dirt cause they weren’t one of the big 3 and I know OG ARMYs remember it. I love Yoongi and Joon’s interaction in this. Rapline is so tired of fake bullshit and I am so HERE for it. Yoongi’s always been the more blunt, hard hitting rapper and he really shows that through this song. Ya’ll know I’m a shooter right? And we all know the biggest shooter for BTS is BTS jahgdjag

We Are Bulletproof: The Eternal- Two seconds in and I was in tears??? They’ve worked so, so hard to reach where they are now and I hope no one forgets that. Literally bawled at “We were only seven but we have you all now” It’s so wild to look at BTS and think they are the group that made it. The group that broke endless boundaries. The group that became worldwide. Shit remember when we thought 100,00 preorders were hard?? jsksk The way the melody hits and their sweet voices one after the other just *chef’s kiss* Not to get emotional on main but the fact that their name is bulletproof? A word that has become symbolic in the means of striving through hate and pain. First they had one another and now they have us? The song that originally went hard and they rapped about having no fear and dissed others who looked down on them became a soft love song to talk about their pain and vulnerability? How they manage to survive hardships makes them move forward, how having loving people by their side is what makes them bulletproof? THE CHARACTER GROWTH? Yo BTS are god’s children ya’ll.

Overall, I love this album with my whole heart. They fully incorporated what it means to be 7 and as an OG ARMY, I cannot be more proud. Just compare their music from even ‘HER’ to now. Their is such growth in their lyrics and love in their hearts. Thank you to BTS for giving us bigger and better music to this day. For providing us with performances we can awe over and not losing their roots just because they’ve become big. I’m so grateful that they continue to be by my side.

part 1

[beardandbooty]

Hey queens (and gender neutral rulers)! It’s dreams-about-peter-Parker-girl again, and this ask is a little self serving, but I recently started a marvel/peter acc where I wanna gush over those gorgeous idiots and write lotsa fanfiction, and I was wondering if you had any tips on getting started? It took me FOREVER to grow my supernatural acc and although I’ve loved it for a long time, I’m fairly new to the whole Marvel community, and I wanted to know if the queens of sin had any tips for me❤️

HEY HI HELLO BBY! HELL YEAH WRITE THE SMUT. I’m so sorry that we’re just now getting this message now, it got buried in our inbox and whoops we’re just the worst ever but hi let’s talk about writing

I can’t offer much in the way of advice for writing Marvel characters in general, like idk it’s just deciding on characterization? Sometimes it helps to fill out those original character forms that you can find online and I know that Peter Parker isn’t your original character or anything but still, it helps to have your thoughts/opinions on your Peter Parker down in writing and you can always refer back to that if you’re stuck

However, I’m more than happy to offer what little advice I can in the smut writing department, so hold on tight bitch

1.) Honestly, sometimes planning out what you’re going to write is the worst. I usually start with some sort of dialogue, it doesn’t have to be a massive conversation but like a steller one-liner that sets the tone of what you’re writing. Like I’ll be told something by a partner/think of a phrase/take inspo from other writing obviously don’t steal tho and have a moment where I realize it’s totally something Peter/Steve/Bucky/Tony would say. That phrase/dialogue becomes the starting point.

Something like: “You’re really going to make me beg for it, aren’t you?” is something Bucky Barnes would most definitely say and then I build the rest of the smut around that, like you could be teasing him, straddling his hips, almost giving him what he wants then pulling away and leaving him more and more desperate until he just gets an iron grip on your hips and flips you over and takes what he wants and then bam you got urself some porn

(Also there are plenty of smutty/NSFW starters out there if you need a starting point! I’ve gotten a lot of inspiration from RP blogs, never be afraid to take something and make it your own)

2.) I also like doing things like the NFSFW Alphabet for characters that I write smut about because it allows you to explore most of the aspects of a character’s sex life and is a sort of guideline for yourself. Like later on down the line if you’re unsure if something is in character or not, you can refer back to your NSFW Alphabet and be like oh, right choking is something he’s not that into probably because of X, Y, and Z. 

3.) Also please don’t believe that you have to have experience doing something in order to write about it. Like you don’t have to have built a warship to write a couple of sentences on woodworking in a fic and you don’t have to have been double penetrated while being choked to write smut. Yes, you want things to be realistic and believable but research and imagination are your key tools as a writer. I’ve written plenty of smut before I had slept with anyone and continue to after I’ve slept with a few different people. Experience or lack thereof doesn’t bar you from writing. 

4.) And on a more general writing note, please don’t be afraid to use words like cock and pussy, like nothing kills an otherwise good fic/smut faster for me than when my eyes are forced to read ‘her wet hole’ or ‘his lovestick’ like please @ the people doing that I beg of you, cock isn’t a bad word okay

5.) Synonyms are your best friend, seriously there are only so many times you can say ‘gorgeous’ in a single smut trust me I know so make sure to switch things up from time to time

6.) It also helps to have someone proof any writing you do, including smut. It’s nice to have another set of eyes but like, ‘uh how exactly did her fingers end up in his ass again?’ because sometimes we get so damn excited writing and we’re in the flow of it, and forget to include some of the logistics of sex. 

As a last thing, as cliche of an answer it is, it really helps to just start writing. You don’t know what works best for you in terms of structuring things until you start doing it, you know? You don’t know how you prefer writing characters until you start writing them making out. It’s just a matter of putting a few words on the page … and a few of those words might happen to be ‘cock’.

Also hi plz share your Marvel/Peter account URL with us, if you��re comfortable, and we’ll pass it on to our followers! We love stanning our followers because you guys are ridiculously amazing

- Mod Shelby

[kpop-stole-my-sanity]

Weakness // Nakamoto Yuta

Request: “hello my bb girl/boy/whatever you prefer!! could i pls request an angst for any nct member of your choice where they see you again for the first time after not keeping in contact? idk, i understand if you can’t get it done!! love u honey”

Genre: angst

Word Count: 3236

A/N: I am so so so so so sorry this took so long!!! I’ve really been in a writing funk lately, and no matter how hard I tried, the words took super long to find their way onto the page. :(( I think I’m getting out of the funk tho so hopefully I’ll be uploading more soon~~ Also, I’m not really used to writing angst, so so try if this is bad or weird or cringey or something but I TRIED I PROMISE!!  I’ll definitely improve with practice tho, so plz don’t be afraid to request!! :DDDD

P.S. I didn’t proofread so I apologize for any stupid spelling or grammar mistakes !!! + I LOVE YOU TOO :D

(a/n: let’s pretend you live in Japan bc yuta senpai)

“Yuta? Where are you? Yuta!!!”

Your heart nearly burst out of your chest as you felt a hand grip your shoulder from behind. You spun around to see your best friend, whose eyes were twinkling with mischief as his lips curled up to form a wide grin.

“I hate it when you sneak up on me like that.” “I know.” “Where did you even go? I was scared you left me.” “Why? Because you would miss me?~~” “Hah! Not even close! It’s because it’s dark and I’m not trying to get mugged tonight.” “Wow, rude. Maybe I should just run ahead and let you get mugged.”

And with that, he took off, laughing as you struggled to keep up with him. You screamed his name in mock anger, but knew that he would never leave you behind. He eventually feigned exhaustion and slowed down, and the two of you continued home in comfortable silence.

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You woke up groggily to the sound of your alarm blaring across the room. Disheveled, and a little disoriented, you managed to make your way to the outlet where your phone was charging and turned the loud alert off. An audible sigh left your lips as you thought back to the dream you just had.

It’s the asshole’s birthday tomorrow.

You laughed at the irony of it all. This particular memory reminded you of how much faith you once had in him. Never in a million years did you think he would leave you. But he did. One day he was here, the next day he was gone, without a trace. No call, no note, not even a crappy text message to say goodbye. He just left. At first, you were terrified. What if something bad happened to him? Thousands of possibilities ran through your mind––each worse than previous one. But all of that was erased when you talked to Yuta’s neighbor, Ms. Kyoshi, who said that she had seen cardboard boxes being packed into moving trucks just days before. Well, there you had it.  

You wanted to hate him for it, but you could never bring yourself to. Of course you were angry and frustrated, but he had been your best friend for years. Him disappearing so suddenly made you worried more than anything else, and as much as you hated to admit it, you missed him. You couldn’t believe that even after the four years he’d been gone, Nakamoto Yuta was still your weakness.

You were pulled out of your self-loathing when your phone chirped, signaling that you received a message.

Miri: Hey Y/N! Just reminding you that I’m coming to pick you up at 9:30. Be ready!

You checked the time: 7:28. That gave you just enough time to shower, eat breakfast, and double check that you packed everything you needed. Hopefully this trip would distract you from your constant thoughts of Yuta.

“South Korea, here I come!”

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The plane ride from Japan to Korea had been fairly short, and with none of the random delays that you and Miri had prepared for. That left the two of you with the rest of the day in Seoul, and no plans. After arriving at your hotel, you decided to just spend your time walking around the city, perhaps going to Hongdae to experience some of the street life that it was famous for. You found that when on vacation, it was really nice to just “go with the flow” sometimes and not have to keep up with an insanely packed itinerary.

Walking along the streets of Seoul seemed peaceful, despite the bustling of the crowds around you. In fact, the unfamiliar surroundings and large groups of people were what calmed you, keeping your mind off of you-know-who. Every time you or Miri saw a cute store or café you wanted to look at, you didn’t hesitate, using your free time to just browse around. Soon, the two of you found yourselves in a large square with tall buildings and malls. All around, huge ads were flashing on screens, displaying the flawless faces of Korean idols promoting their respective products. You rolled your eyes as you heard Miri squeal.

“Oh my gosh! That’s NCT 127!”

You just hummed in response, not even bothering to look towards the direction she was pointing. You were too distracted by the ice cream stand to your right.

“You know, one of them is from Japan! He’s honestly hella rude.”

“That’s cool.”

Miri scoffed at your dry reply, but continued nevertheless: “His name is Yuta, but he’s not my bias. My bias is Taeyong! He’s the leader and one of the rappers of the group and he’s actually so attractive I cannot-”

But at that point, you had completely tuned her out. As soon as the familiar name escaped her lips, your head snapped towards the ad so quick that you could’ve sworn you almost got whiplash (eheh see what I did there? ;3)

It couldn’t be... could it?

Your eyes frantically scanned the faces of all the members before landing on none other than Nakamoto Yuta.

You felt everything crash around you as huge rushes of emotion rolled through your body. Relief, confusion, frustration, and most of all, anger. Your blood began to boil as you continued to stare at the annoyingly perfect smile you missed for so long. You felt ridiculous for getting mad at the digital image shown on the screen, but he was fine. He seemed to be pretty well off, actually, so what kept him from letting you know where he was and what he was up to?

“Hey, are you okay? Why are you staring at the ad so aggressively?”

You shook your head and just whispered, “Later.” Luckily, she didn’t push, instead nodding in understanding. You let out a dry chuckle. Of all the places you could have visited, you had to visit South Korea. Now, instead of keeping your mind off of Yuta, the trip made you think about him more than ever. You wanted nothing more than to seek him out and scream at him, punch him, kick him, and demand for an explanation. One way or another, you were determined to find Yuta and give him a piece of your mind.

❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧

“WHAT! OH MY GOD! YOU KNEW NAKAMOTO YUTA!”

You sighed and threw a pillow at Miri. “Yes, emphasis on knew. That jerk was my best friend and he just left without saying goodbye.”

“Aw, I’m sorry. I just can’t believe that someone I know, knew someone who I’m watching through computer screens. I didn’t mean to be insensitive.”

You smiled at your friend, signaling that you forgave her. But it was gone as soon as it came as your thoughts returned to Yuta.

“Hey, Miri?” “Yeah, what’s up?” “Do you happen to know where NCT 127 works?” “…yes…why?” “Because Yuta and I need to have a talk.”

To your duress, Miri started squealing, “OH MY GOSH I’M GONNA SEE TAEYONG IN REAL LIFE I’M GOING TO DIE. AHHHH––wait. Y/N, how can you be sure he’s going to talk to you?”

Falling backwards onto the bed, you let out a loud groan. “I don’t know Miri. But if our friendship meant anything to him, he has to speak with me… right?”

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[The Next Day]

It was early…way too early. But in order to make sure that you were in Yuta’s line of sight, you had to get there before the hundreds of crazy fangirls did. You had it all planned out: how you were going to yell out his name, what you were going to say, the hand gestures you were going to use to express your rage––all of it. But as the time passed by, you grew less and less confident.  

“Are we seriously doing this right now?”

Miri’s question mirrored your own thoughts exactly. You bit your lip, unsure about whether or not you should really go through with it. You wanted to follow your plan and boldly call him out, but truthfully, you were nervous. If you were completely honest with yourself, you were actually excited to see him again. It had been years, and you were genuinely curious about how he was doing. Apprehension raced through your veins as your eyes wandered over the sea of fans waiting beside you. The loud bustling that calmed and distracted you earlier was now only igniting your anxiety. Did you really want to have your confrontation so publicly? Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea…

“I don’t know, Miri, maybe we should just le–”

You were cut off by loud squeals emerging from every direction. Instinctively, your eyes lifted as you saw a row of tall, lean bodies exit the van that just pulled up. You couldn’t see their faces yet, but decided that you wanted to run away before that could happen. Tugging on Miri’s shirt, you tried to tell her that it was time to go. Unfortunately, she too was encapsulated by the presence of the idols and failed to notice. You were out of time. You tried to push yourself further into the rowdy crowd, but with so many fans trying to get closer to the front, there was no use. Your early awakening didn’t seem like such a good idea now.

Desperate, you made a last-ditch attempt to hide behind Miri as the idols moved closer, but it was too late. With the turn of your head, you made direct eye contact with Yuta. You felt your body go rigid, staring at the so-familiar yet so-different person in front of you. Yes, it was your childhood best friend, Nakamoto Yuta, but he was slimmer, his facial features were more defined, and his hair was now a light brown. For a second, you let your guard down, expression softening into one of awe. But when you saw the look of recognition on his face––the wide eyes and parted lips––your anger returned once again (ANOTHAA ONE EHEH ;D). His mouth moved to form the syllables of your name.

“Y/N?”

Waves of heat cascaded over you, burning up your face and fueling your anger. If you didn’t know better, you would have claimed that steam was blowing out from your ears. The words you had prepared so intently were long forgotten.

Fuming, you let the first thought that came to mind escape your lips, tone so cold that it sent shivers down Yuta’s spine: 

“Happy birthday, asshole.”

With that, you turned and stormed away. You could hear Miri shouting your name, but you ignored her, feeling the need to be alone for a while. The anger that had consumed you just moments before slipped away into nothingness. Tears that you didn’t know you were holding back started to fall as you recalled the look on his face. He clearly remembered you, and yet he never made an effort to contact you. Did you really mean that little to him?  He was following his dream––you would have understood that. Did he have so little faith in you?

Questions and doubts flooded your brain as you slowly trudged back to the hotel.

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When you finally made it, a worried Miri greeted you at the front door.

“Oh my god, Y/N! I was literally freaking out. One second you were next to me giving death stares to Yuta, the next you were two blocks away and turning all these random corners. I thought you got lost or something!”

You let out a weak chuckle and held up your phone, “Google Maps, remember?”

“Okay, yes, technology is wonderful but still~~you can’t do that to me!” She paused briefly before continuing: “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know. I thought I just wanted to confront him, but seeing him today made me realize that he’s probably better off without me. If I mattered at all to him, he would have put in the effort to contact me. I just want to enjoy this vacation and go home like nothing happened.”

Rather than the words of encouragement you expected, Miri stayed silent. Curious, you looked up at her, only to be met with the nervous lip chewing that she did whenever she felt guilty about something.

(a/n: please excuse the caps, I honestly just didn’t know how to express the volume and franticness of this dialogue any other way lel)

“Miri… what did you do?” “DON’T BE MAD PLEASE! I SWEAR I DIDN’T KNOW YOU FELT THIS WAY BEFORE I INVITED HIM OVER TO––” “YOU WHAT??!!?!” “I’M REALLY SORRY, I THOUGHT YOU STILL WANTED TO YELL AT HIM SO I JUST IMPULSIVELY TOLD HIM WHERE WE WERE STAYING. HE DIDN’T GIVE ME A DIRECT ANSWER THOUGH SO HE STILL MIGHT NOT––“

*KNOCK KNOCK*

“––come…”

Your head dipped down as your fingers went straight to your temples, attempting to rub soothing circles to calm your mind.

This can’t be happening. Please tell me this isn’t happening.

A second series of knocks drew you out of thoughts. A sigh slipped past your lips, “Miri, can you please try to get rid of him? Tell him that I went back to Japan or something; I don’t think i can do this.”

She nodded and immediately turned to answer the door. You could hear the soft dialogue between them, and visibly cringed when Miri actually told Yuta that you flew back to Japan. Unfortunately, to your expectation, Yuta simply pushed passed Miri and began looking for you himself.

“I know you’re in here Y/N. Please, I need to talk to you.”

You couldn’t hold yourself back from snapping, “We have nothing to talk about.”

To your duress, as Yuta entered the room, your breath hitched and your heart skipped a beat.

Damn these stupid emotions.

Miri was two steps behind him, an apologetic look plastered across her face. You gave her your, ‘it’s okay’ look, which she answered by mouthing, “I’m gonna leave now.”

Now it was just you two. You could see the guilt in his posture, eyes never moving away from his fidgety hands as he stood silently. Your gaze shamelessly wandered his face as you began to wonder if this was just a twisted dream. It was hard to believe that Nakamoto Yuta was right in front of you. It seemed like ages before he spoke again.

“I know you’re angry, and you have every right to be. I left, I disappeared without a word, I was selfish. But I’m just gonna have to be selfish one more time. As soon as I saw you among the crowds, I knew I had to give you an explanation. You might not want to hear it, but I have to get this off of my chest. I’m sorry. I promise after this, if you decide you never want to talk to me or see me again, I’ll leave you alone.”

His eyes finally lifted up to your face, and he knew he had you. You left out a sigh and nodded.

“When I auditioned for SM, I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t want the people around me to expect too much because I truly did not think I was going to get in. But it happened. One day, they just called me, and next I knew I had to pack all my belongings and move to South Korea. They sent an agent to my house the day after I got the call, and he spent all day for the next three days explaining to me all the terms and conditions. When he wasn’t with me, I was packing or visiting family last minute. It was a mess. It was basically 3 AM when I finally had time for myself, and you were always sleeping by then. So of course, I thought, ‘Hey, why don’t I imitate one of those cheesy movies and write an intimate letter?’ But I, being me, woke up late the day of my flight and forgot to stick the damn thing in your mailbox. God, did I mention it was a whole mess?”

You had to bite the inside of your cheek to contain the smile that threatened to break out. You couldn’t help it! Listening to him speak, watching him express himself, you saw the same boy you spent every day with just four years ago.

“Of course you would wait until the last possible minute to give me the letter and forget it.”

Yuta beamed. Hearing one of your sassy, quirky replies again was enough to make his week.

“Exactly! In hindsight, you should have known that I was just being stupid and not disappearing from the face of the Earth.”

You didn’t stop your smile this time.

“Anyways, when I made it to the dorms, they confiscated my cell phone! I asked for it back, but they said it was part of their trainee policy. Obviously I didn’t pay enough attention to the contract when the agent was going over it. But I already signed it so there was nothing I could do about it. I mean, they did let us write letters, but it was only once a month and you already know that my mom would have killed me if I didn’t write to her. The longer and longer it took me to mail a letter to you, the more I thought you’d hate me. I kept making excuses to myself about why I didn’t contact you, but the truth is I was scared you would never want to talk to me again. By the time I finally grew the balls to mail a letter, it was too late. My manager saw the name on the letter and said no.”

“Geez, what does your manager have against me?” you half joked.

“He wasn’t trying to target you specifically. I was already an SMRookie and we were going to debut soon. If anyone found out I was writing to an unknown person... well let’s just say they were afraid of unwanted rumors. Plus, my contract also has this policy about no dating until–”

“Well, what’s that got to do with me?”

“I–”

You couldn’t help but swell with pride when Yuta’s face turned tomato red, a smirk playing on your lips.

“I-I mean, uhm, w-we’re around the same age, ya know? And like... and they could assume? Or, uh.. or something... yeah.”

The mischief that gleamed in your eyes was replaced by a much more lighthearted amusement.

You’re too damn cute for your own good.

“Well, that’s not the point! The point is, I missed you. A lot. And I’d really like to hang out with you again. Please? Maybe grab a coffee or something?”

“And what about the dating rumors? Aren’t you afraid what the company will say?”

“I think it’d be fine if I just explained our friendship. We’ve been idols for a while now. And technically, they can’t stop me anymore because that the time period in which that part of the contract already was valid has already passed.”

You gnawed at your bottom lip, wondering if you should accept his offer. You really did miss him, and seeing him here in front of you, dorky as ever, made you miss him even more. Should you stay strong and let him go? Or abandon your pride have him in your life again? All it took was one look at his puppy dog eyes to convince you to give into your weakness. 

“Ok. Let’s go.”