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#idk sorry for being sad on main but
lynkss · 1 year
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why do i always feel so alone even when surrounded by friends
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lumiilys · 29 days
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It makes me sad that there’s always going to be this melancholy feeling hanging over the fandom because of the cancellation. I miss how we felt before January, when being in the fandom was all about being excited for the future!!!
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mothbeasts · 12 days
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i miss posting and making and engaging with ieytd content but I will be honest sometimes it feels alienating. as a lesbian.
#bee's buzzing#ieytd#i dont know.. its probably just me being Strange. but.#the Main guy in the fandom is juniper. and he's interesting! but. i don't... think about him as often#and when i do it's never in the shipping / x reader context i see so frequently in the tags.#i dont ship him with agent phoenix because. my agent is an it/its dyke. so i dont really engage in that side of fandom#i also dont think about the handler as often because. idk i just think about the women more!#but juniper and agent phoenix and the handler are like. the only people i see talked about often#which is fine!! people like them. i also like them just. not in the same way/to the same extent.#im here for the women. but. they're not talked about often at all :[#when they are it's usually briefly in passing.#they get the worst of the mischaracterization too imo. because people just do not give them the same depth as they like to give-#- charas like john. it makes me kinda sad tbh.#and also the fandom does not. seem to make much space for f/f content.#i know like. the handful of other people who make f/f content for ieytd.#and. god. idk im still honestly a bit ticked off by one solaris post that 1) was not a good analysis i will be quite honest.#it was very surface level. like really basic info and also iirc not entirely accurate? i cannot remember anymore#but. 2). it started by saying 'nobody talks about solaris outside of fabbylaris' and that still makes my blood boil.#like. not to vaguepost but. the fabbylaris posters ARE talking about solaris outside of a shipping context. please. please#also there was a whole Thing a while back where people started being strange about non-feminine nonbinary agent phoenix.#and as a nonbinary butch-adjacent dyke. it made my skin crawl!!! im NOT feminine and idk why making agent phoenix not feminine is.#apparently Bad to a certain subset of the fandom#sorry but im a dyke and i WILL make the player insert protag a butch lesbian who doesnt use she/her.#and if you have a problem with that please think about Why people making the player insert nonbinary and androgynous/Vaguely Masc is-#- such a problem to you. and whether that is alienating to the trans people in the fandom.#okay. im normal now. goodnight.
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cnl0400 · 2 months
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Don't you think obey me has enough characters?
Under Read More because it's a bit incoherent and lol. Sorry anon
It's not that I need more characters and more that RAD itself feels empty, I don't really think there's a point in the SF If you know the brothers are going to win anyways, it feels rigged, the brothers are the student council, the "top" but there's nothing to compare them to, because all students are either SC members or exchange students (who have certain "privileges" as mentioned in OGS2, like having easier clases and the like). Only exception to this rule Is Mephistopheles. Idk, you can't really feel how powerful the SC Is If you don't have a point of reference in how the 'lesser demons' act.
There's has been games with fewer characters that make more livid schools, but to do that you have to distribute their roles so It doesn't becomes numbing. Having more than one (in this case, two) perspectives makes things interesing.
Something I have talked before Is how in certain point in S4, Diavolo makes a survey about what the student body thinks about the exchange students. The result are... Really negative. Like, most of the students either don't care or hate the EEs. But why do they hate them? Or why should *we* care about what this faceless crowd thinks of us? What have we done to them to even warrant this response????
Another example, in the lesson from today, Asmodeus being sabotaged in the SF feels so out of nowhere, why did this demon do that in the first place? Just to win? I don't care that this random demon was punished because it feels the equivalent of moving a rock out the way. Obey Me in general would benefit from having some kind of antagonistic force for cases like these.
A good compromise would be like they did today with Blackjack/Red Devil/Nancy and just have them be a textbox (If you are cheap and don't want to invest in background characters) Michael has been like this since the beggining, Queen Rose was a niche character that had certain following when the dame events happened, and every scene with the Butcher in S3 was comedy gold. No mention of characters like Helene, Griselda, etc. So I think you can nail characters like these If you make the effort.
Hell, Mephistopheles before having a sprite had cult following just from chats and mentions in the main story. OG at least used to namedrop demons that existed in-universe, now it's "a demon" everytime something happens.
RAD just feels small, empty, barren, etc. and I have skipped most RAD related events since before Nightbringer was announced, lol
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Why are break ups so fucking Hard man
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So I don't know if it was ever revealed how Duncan felt when we killed Malistaire all three times but I'm wondering if maybe some part of him could hate us for that too. Like you hear that and you go "but why. Malistaire was terrible and even Duncan knew that(?). Why would he hate you for getting rid of him."
But like I think it's so....... interesting in a very, very, very sad way how Duncan so easily latches onto anyone who directly feeds into his delusions of grandeur. And that's no fault of his own that he was manipulated by the nasty Schism but when you think about how desperately clung to the idea that Malistaire, easily one of the greatest necromancers any of us had ever heard of (at that time), somehow actually recognized Duncan's talents (even when canon supports that Duncan wasn't all that talented, at least no more than the next necromancer) and then praised him for it so often that Duncan believed that he would be the next Death Professor is. I mean ☹️
So like with that mindset I unfortunately feel like it would be quite easy to twist even Malistaire's death as something that's horrible and awful and all our fault. ESPECIALLY if the Schism was feeding into Duncan's already broken mind and shattered ego and was constantly telling him that everything bad that ever happened to him ever in his life was Our Fault. That's like a realistic conclusion that someone like Duncan could come to
And like, at this point in time, are Malistaire's crimes even a factor in how he thinks????? Was Duncan ever able to separate Malistaire's talent and skills and prowess from the terrible and awful things he did? If Duncan wasn't able to consciously tell that distinction in the first place I can't imagine it would be any better during the years he was being manipulated and isolated and lied to
Like in Duncan's mind it probably isn't, "maybe I shouldn't idolize a national criminal, or idolize anyone at all for that matter, and aspire to be like someone so harmful when I can recognize my own talent and build from there" it's probably more like, "you (the wizard) permanently got rid of a brilliant mind, an innocent person who just made a few mistakes, and someone who believed in me no matter what just so that you could be the better than me and loved by everyone else" and that's! very sad actually!
#this is all speculation btw idk if any of this is canon. how duncan feels about all this#i know i keep saying the exact same shit over and over but.... really not a fan of how the game handled duncan! sorry!#i know wizard101 isnt supposed to be about every single character gets a satisfying ending to their arc-#-meaning not everyone in the story will face consequences and/or find a happy ending and like thats fine they dont need to#but idkkkk its just imo really sad how essentially a kid suffers frrom something he cant control by himself (his ego)-#and then instead of getting help he is instead ignored (ambrose) and then manipulated and brought up by a cult#and then when it becomes super apparent how... TERRIBLE his life really is and we defeat him he just... goes back??????#we.... we LET him go back???? i mean we're not responsible for other people's bad decisions or mental health but bro....#and then when we tell ambrose he's just like “oh. too bad. well anyways-” AND IM LIKE WELL THATS THE REASON!!!!! NO WONDER HE'S FUCKED UP#NONE OF THIS IS ADDRESSED. NONE OF IT. WE KICK DUNCAN'S ASS AND THEN HE.... GOES BACK TO THE CABAL#i literally just got so desolate when (wallaru spoilers) because. okay. all that for nothing i guess#this isnt me being mad btw LMAO i know the tone probably reads as angry but im not im just disappointed#and tired. what is it with wizard101 in particular and just people suffering with no end. (me as i make my main suffer with no end)#but anyways yeah duncan has been in my head for a while. he's one of the guys that i love a lot BDKSNSKAJ#he's like a son to me and HE NEEDS A HEALTHY PARENT. HE NEEDS IT#not excusing his actions btw. he still committed crimes JRKDJSIEJ#i just have a soft spot for those villains in media who are doomed from the start yknow. (stares tearfully at morganthe and gf spider)#wizard101#wiz101#w101#text posts#duncan grimwater#im not normal about duncan at all he's probably the wozard oc i feel for the most other than malorn and us
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sskk-manifesto · 6 months
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(´・ᴗ・ ` )
#I really like the “We're the bad guys' enemy” line. For someone I generally despise Dazai has all my favourite lines in this show…#Idk I can't really vibe with the unbalance that there is between s/kk.#Like when push comes to shove‚ Dazai has the power to keep Chuuya alive or let him die.#I understand why they make a compelling dynamic in their complexity‚ but it just doesn't do it for me.#I'm a little sad my opinion on them hasn't really changed since I watched the anime for the first time...#Also; I really can't vibe with Chuuya allowing Dazai to kill Q. Yes I know Chuuya cares about his comrades deeply.#Yes I know it can be interpreted as Chuuya seeing himself in Q as a living weapon and being disgusted by it#(though I honestly don't think that was intentional of the author).#Yes I know Chuuya is a mafioso and kills people. No I don't think your personal issues justify you being a dick to other people I'm sorry.#Back to my main annoyance with the episode: I must have already talked about this but I hate hate hate the narrative#“the mafia works for the city” “the mafia deeply loves the city too” it's so so sickening and insulting please stop I'm begging.#Please visit any actual city with a rooted mafia presence for once in your life (signed: someone whose hometown was destroyed by the mafia.#The writers really don't know what they're talking about and‚ politely‚ it's offensive.)#Also b/sd keeping being extremely nationalist with Mori (who's largely depicted unsimphatetically for the first part of the episode)–#bringing up western thinkers and subtly mocking Fukuzawa for not knowing them–#and Fukuzawa (the righteous man. the noble spirit and just soul in this episode and Mori's antithesis)–#stepping forward to say that he knows strategists from the east (because who else would he need?)#I don't know if it's meant to symbolize the conflict with an hostile and invading foreign power (the Guild).#But it does come across as. A very isolationist way of thinking.#I know it's subtle but it's really evident for me. And I didn't want to talk about this any further…#But by bringing actual examples of this I hope I can better explain why I think that b/sd holds nationalist views–#and that I'm not just making it up out of nowhere. Otherwise I fear I'd only come off as pettily hostile to b/sd in everything#That's it. I feel like I've been losing a lot of mutuals over my main recently due to not shutting up (sorry)#so I suppose it's only fair I lose them on here too pffttt.#Tune in next week for more bad takes#random rambles
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boygirlcreature · 19 hours
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carpthecarp · 8 days
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tonights mood kinda
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im-still-a-robot · 9 months
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M. It was impossible to make their name look good 😔
Notes:
- Main outfit based off the orginal skin for them (minus capelet). I might do a better design at a later point but I am out of outfit brain power atm
- They like nicer clothes (like sweaters and button ups) but are often annoyed by the lack of mobility
- Mask only comes off when alone or with people they trust. Their headscarf, on the other hand, is used to protect their hair, so they might take it off in public, but usually only briefly, to adjust it.
- The Moofia was important to them. Even after its effective dissolution, cows were very dear to them. Also cow axe :]
- Prone to annoyance and nervousness in equal measure. An asshole on bad days and tricky bastard on good ones.
Thats mostly it. I am going to be thinking about them for weeks to come <3
Diamond (the fox!) belongs to @twodragonsinatrenchcoat
I genuinely don't remember who the child was- feel free to tell me if you know :]
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liesyousoldme · 24 days
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my sister in law took a picture of me cuddling with my nephews today and for the first time since i got my eyebrows back i feel like…. i look sick. like i look like a sick person. and obviously i KNOW i am a sick person but there is something about looking at yourself and seeing illness that feels really bad.
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yandereshingeki · 7 months
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Eren is one of those characters that i think the majority of the fandom perceives very differently from me and it makes me very sad sometimes :(
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kitwilsonsass · 2 months
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like im just genuinely sad about it lol. like im genuinely sad.
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dandyshucks · 2 months
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the difference btwn irl and online perspective on creativity is so funny to me and idk if I'll ever get used to the stark contrast of it all.
IRL when I mention that I draw and write, people act like I'm some super talented creative genius(???). they don't seem to understand the concept of OCs, and if I try to vaguely touch on my DL project they get visibly overwhelmed no matter how simple I make it for them, and eventually they settle on just insisting that I need to publish traditionally and monetize on it. they don't seem to have the ability to understand the concept of zines and immersive storytelling through non-traditional means.
but then i get online and I'm just another drop in the ocean and always a very mediocre drop at that LMAO, I constantly fight with myself to feel like there is any sort of value to my stories and art, and there's hundreds of people doing the sort of thing that I do but even better than I could ever dream of doing!
it's just so strange going from interacting with this online to IRL, I feel like I'm getting whiplash from being largely ignored or scoffed at online (which I'm fine with btw lol I grew up with that in my family and now I get nervous when I get too much attention) to people at the centre treating me like I'm some kind of artistic genius who cannot be understood because I'm too far above their level 😭
#i simplify the things i talk about so much too like djdksl i rly make it as easy as possible to understand#i continue to simplify things more and more when i talk to ppl. i get vaguer and vaguer. and yet !!!!#it rly is not difficult to understand i feel like ??? the concept of zines is just so simple really#but these ppl are all so deeply entrenched in traditional novels that the concept of a zine is far outside their understanding ig 😭#im just dhfjdls struggling going back and forth btwn these two spaces of online vs IRL#the thing is that i do just want to share my ideas w ppl! i enjoy it!#and i want to hear their ideas too!#but everyone is so weird irl to me about it ??? like. calm down. im a little freak. do not treat me like im way beyond ur understanding!!#if u played w me in the space then u would see oh actually art is smth everyone can engage in!!!#art is not for ''talented'' people only!!! everyone can make it!!! u gain skill the longer u work on it!!#i prefer sharing stuff online bc of this fjdkdl but then online has its drawbacks too#i have a hard time not being mean to myself abt how my work does not measure up to other ppls fjfkdl#which is silly bc i LOOOVE seeing ppl make art no matter what their skill level or whatnot#and i get sad seeing ppl be down on themselves abt their creations#but ... idk sbdjdl I'm rambling LOL i was just thinking abt how strange all this is#sorry for the weird ramble post LOL this is probably smth that should go on my main account but too late now fjdkdl#dandy.cmd#vent //#not rly meaning for this to be a vent but i think perhaps it has some flavours of being one LOL
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the-kipsabian · 6 months
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i dont want to believe im a bad writer but impostor syndrome after struggling for so long hits just really fucking hard sometimes
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lesbiten · 5 months
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as someone who isnt like. huge on d3stiel. i will say it is interesting going through and seeing all the 'big d3stiel' moments in context and some of them are very 'yeah, i get that' and othes are '...you have to purposely take this extremely far out of context and then spin it around in a circle to interpret it the way you did'
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