#idk what I'm doing with tags at the moment like whether I want to tag things or not

[jiminrings]

fail-safe

pairing: yoongi x reader

wordcount: 8k

glimpse: growing up, your brother's best friend always berated you for not having a passion in life outside of loving him from afar. when yoongi leaves everything he's ever known for everything he's ever wanted, trying to move on from him becomes your biggest aspiration.

alternatively, yoongi left when you needed him the most, and comes back home at a time when you love him the least.

[ part one, intermission, part two, intermission 02, finale ]

[ a Lot of angst, eventual fluff, brother's best friend AND single dad au, So Much Yearning, unrequited love (initial), jealousy, self-deprecation, a lot of talk abt passion in an empty n hurtful way that most impassioned youngest children feel (it's a specific feeling idk!!!), eventual redemption in the next parts ]

notes: finally got to writing a new series!!! i'm beyond excited for this + this whole new concept and flow i haven't touched on before <3 i hope u love fail-safe as much as i do :-)

as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!! | series masterlist

Yoongi buys atleast one scratch ticket a week.

The accessibility of buying one is top-notch considering that all he has to do is cross the street, shoot one look to the cashier, and he can either already go hunch in the corner of the road or in the comfort of his room. The moment his coin takes its first dig and he realizes that he’s won yet again, he’s satisfied enough not to buy another ticket.

He doesn’t want to risk losing the win he’s just gained, the odds of him throwing out money besting his chances in adding to his earnings. He thinks everyone’s a little greedy one way or another, but it’s the righteous part of him that thinks he’s different.

You do think that he is for all the right reasons, your vision only tunneling for him alone. He’s this fixed older figure in your life and you can’t figure out how to shrug him off — he’s this generous leech that sucks all of the rationality from your mind but returns it to you twofold, whether in the form of him saying something unintentionally endearing that it makes your chest hurt, or through him having to lightly smack the back of your head.

Yoongi’s your older brother’s best friend and there’s a novelty tag that comes with him, one that can’t be topped by any material possession to your name. He’s there for you, not in the exact way you want him to be, but nonetheless there. He’s special and unattainable at the same time, the finiteness of his love barely extending to you.

He’s there when you want him to burn the latest songs onto a CD you’ve spent all your allowance in, and he’s there when you get annoyed that he sneaked some of his own recommendations in there. You’re there when you later admit that his suggestions aren’t half-bad, and you also happen to be there when he grins at the praise.

He’s there when Namjoon won’t cough up the last slice of his cutlet, not because he’ll actually give you his, but because he’ll help your brother guard his plate. You’d only have to mope for a solid of three seconds before the two of them give up both of their last slices, and you’re there when Yoongi insists for you to try the sauce in the spirit of going out of your routine.

You don’t need Yoongi every single time but in the event that you do, he hangs back. He contemplates and hesitates and doesn’t give in to every single whim that you have, but he’ll be there. He lingers like the last holiday ornament you don’t want to remove until it’s February, his presence being oddly similar to your favorite festivities.

Yoongi’s the equivalent of a holiday you look forward to with each passing month and day; he comes around to and for you in instances, but never even in your most sincere wishes.

“I buy one scratch ticket a week — three if I’m really feeling lucky. When my palms itch, that’s when I know that I really need to buy them.”

He’s calm and collected even when you’re scrunching your nose up at him in combined worry and disbelief, humming mindlessly as you collect your thoughts. He randomly told you about his lottery routine and you’re still trying to wrap your head around how he blows his money off just easily. Yoongi has the mind to put scrap cardboard under you because sitting on the hot concrete with your uniform on can’t possible be a good idea, but you try to play off your fluster into stubbornness.

He’s just playing with his two ever-present coins (lucky charms as he calls them)— one that’s shiny and minted in the present year, the other being the oldest coin he’s ever had that happens to be older than he is — while you mutter about.

“I don’t know, Yoongs. That might be a gambling problem,” you squint, your side comment being heard clearly as day. “Might be the symptoms for hand, foot, and mouth disease too.”

“What— I do not have a gambling problem! My skin’s perfectly fine too, thanks,” he defends, the light shove he gives you doing nothing to tone down your teasing.

“That’s what people with gambling problems say.”

“Give me that-…” he mutters, trying to wrestle you for the sundae he bought you using the money he won from his scratch ticket just awhile ago. You don’t give in easily, even if your laughs that come straight from your chest suggest otherwise. “You don’t get it. It’s just this nice, fun little thing I can look forward to every week. I always buy the cheapest version anyway so when I lose, it’s not a big deal.”

You relent (like you always do when it comes to Yoongi) in understanding, waving him off after regaining your breath. “Nah. I get it. We all have to do things so we wouldn’t lose our shit,” you trail, racking your head to find the right words.“Yours is buying scratch tickets, and mine is-…”

“Yours is what?” Yoongi raises an eyebrow, lips quirked in eagerness to know where you’re going with this. He can’t pinpoint a single thing he can attach to you and neither can you, your actual interests merely reflecting those of the people whom you love.

You love cross-stitching because your mom loves doing it, the tolerance you have for accidentally being pricked by the needle growing over time.

You enjoy playing badminton because Namjoon’s obsessed with the sport, no matter how ratty your rackets and shuttlecocks have become, and no matter how much he pushes you to ring the doorbell to your neighbor’s when he’s sent it flying to their backyard.

You’re probably an imposter yet you don’t feel like it. You don’t feel bad that your life most probably and will only revolve around your mom and Namjoon (maybe even Yoongi); you don’t feel dissatisfied that your life’s mundane. 

You go where your love goes.

“Mine is watching you buy scratch tickets,” you shrug easily as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, making him laugh heartily. You’ve probably done something right because he hauls you up to your feet immediately.

“Get up. I’m buying you your first ticket,” he nudges you, grabbing you by the arm in excitement.

“But I’m not even legal!” you half-heartedly argue, internally excited that you’re finally getting to try your hand at the lottery because you’ve spent a few hundred minutes of your life tuned to the channel to pass the time, awaiting the results for something you haven’t even betted for.

“Right. Like I haven’t seen you trying to squeeze out a drop of beer from our empty cans whenever Namjoon and I drink.”

“Rude,” you roll your eyes playfully, gathering your things from the ground.

“It’s okay. I’ll give you your first sip of beer too if you want,” Yoongi offers sincerely; easily as if you’ve just asked him about the weather.

He’s here to buy you your first scratch ticket, and he’s still here to offer giving you your first sip of liquor in the future.

Your family friend for a cashier vehemently ignores the fact that you’re still underage to participate in the lottery, and instead only chuckles to herself in amusement. She’s an aunt that knows when to step in and not to, and she knows you won’t be harmed by a mere bet. In fact, she knows you won’t be harmed by anything with Yoongi in tow.

“I already used up all my change,” your frown in realization, holding the ticket in your hands in despair despite having scoured your wallet repeatedly.

“Rub it against the pavement. That’s what I do,” Yoongi lies fluidly, a scoff being caught in his throat when you actually attempt to do it.  “I was only kidding, Y/N. Jeez,” he groans, pulling out his wallet. “Ugh. Here. You can have one of my lucky coins.”

It’s the old one, tarnished beyond relief that you can barely recognize what it’s actual value is supposed to be.

“Ew. I’m giving it back. It looks prehistoric,” you narrow your eyes, knowing that you don’t even have to put your fingers nears your nose to know that it’s already left a faint stench on them.

Yoongi rolls his eyes, a habit he can’t tell he’s formed himself or got from you. “If you use your brain for one second, you’d realize that it’s actually worth more because it’s older. Collectors would go crazy for that in the future.”

“That sounds like a hoarding problem.”

He’s just had about enough of your whining so he attempts to trade in the old coin for his lucky new one, but you stop him at the last minute with a meek smile.

“Kidding. Thank you. I’ll keep it safe, Yoongi. I promise,” you rush out before he changes his mind, scratching your ticket in silence.

He waits for you because you’re scratching so politely and neatly, a stark opposite to his experienced skill of scratching the paint off in ten strokes or less.

Your face is too close to the ticket that Yoongi can’t tell what’s happening, making him part your hair like a curtain to peek.

“Did you win?”

“Nope.”

“Let me throw that out for you.”

“No!” you squeak, keeping the ticket close to your chest. It’s a bummer that your first time is a loss, but it didn’t mean that you wanted to forget the sentiment behind it. “I-I mean no, I’ll keep it. It’s memorable now that I think about it.”

“Alright,” he shrugs carelessly, a smile breaking out in retaliation. “Hoarder.”

“Gambler,” you spit, tucking the ticket into your pencil case. “Next week again?”

Yoongi agrees, wrapping his head around the fact that he doesn’t have to be alone in his little routine every Friday.

“Sure.”

( ♡ )

You don’t mind getting hand-me-downs.

As a matter of fact, you love receiving them. The wear and tear of the things that came before you is only proof that it’s been loved enough to be passed on to you.

You adore your mother’s dainty vintage watch that she wore throughout college, the hardware and sentiment behind it being pretty enough that you don’t mind constantly getting the battery replaced. You like Namjoon’s shirts that he’s outgrown, even through the numerous phases he’s had wherein only denim and tie-dye filled his closet.

You don’t mind the history behind the numerous things you have in your home, unbothered that you’re probably the only house in the block with the oldest possible rice cooker. The chips in the staircase aren’t covered up with marker ink and neither are the loose stitches in the couch quilt snipped off. It’s home to your mother and Namjoon — if it’s good enough for them, then it’s already the best for you.

Even on top of everything, you don’t mind your family almost always getting you shirts and shoes that have an allowance in them. Your mom would go to Seoul and pick out the exact pair of sneakers you wanted that are atleast three sizes bigger than your actual feet, and you’d barely bat an eye. 

You don’t mind the coziness of things that are brought to you, because even if they weren’t offered, you’d seek them yourself. 

So when Yoongi mentioned that he’s decluttering his room and needed someone (read: you) to vacuum it up for him, you jump at the chance. You take a grocery bag with you, wear the nearest pair of slippers within your vicinity, and book it to his house as soon as he finished talking.

“Go crazy, kid. Almost everything in that pile is garbage so you can take anything.”

“I feel like I should be more offended than how I feel right now,” you hum, furrowing your eyebrows at the pile in front of you. It’s a mound of Yoongi, or atleast everything he’s ever wanted up until he decided to do a general cleaning of his bedroom.

Yoongi chuckles, going through his pile of clean laundry for him to fold on the side while you scavenge for his things. “It’s either I have you take them or I get ripped off at the thrift store, then I see somebody’s uncle wearing my shirt as an added insult.”

You huff, rummaging through his heap of belongings while conveniently trying to ignore that you may look like somebody’s uncle the moment you wear his clothes. Everything is him; every distressed cap, every unfinished embroidered shirt, and every item of old significance with his initials branded on it.

The thick gray hoodie you’ve been eyeing (along with its owner) for the better part of the last few years surfaces into your field of vision, your gasp audible enough to make him jolt because he thought you’d gotten hurt.

“No way, this too? But this is your favorite,” you half-complain and half-rejoice, turning the hoodie inside-out eagerly in the fear that there’s a catch to it belonging in the pile.

“Eh. I know it looked good on me but I don’t think it’s my favorite. Besides, I’ve bulked up! Wanna feel?” Yoongi grins, his segue eerily similar to your brother’s at every given chance. A neighbor from down the block recently opened a small-time gym, and the both of them have not been able to shut their mouths about it since. From their gossiping alone, Yoongi and Namjoon have generated enough advertising already.

“You and Namjoon really have to stop asking random people to feel your biceps.”

There’s random knick-knacks throughout the clump in the middle of his bed, some being too good and actually useful that you snag them. Yoongi lets you do what you want anyways (most of the time), not having to turn his head to berate you on what you’re only allowed to grab from his stuff.

You’re not greedy — you already have his hoodie and that should be enough on its own. But there’s that handkerchief with his initials embroidered on it, then that Rubik’s cube he swore his relative got for him from New York, and even the little butterfly knife he got from a souvenir shop when his family when to the beach.

There were those and there is this, looking up at you in all of its glory.

“Yoongi.” 

“What now?” he sighs at your dramatic gasp, looking up from his folded laundry to see what you were going on about. It takes a second for him to fully realize why exactly were you so pumped.

“Are you serious? Your helmet?” you squeal, already hugging the shiny red mass close to you. “Does this mean you’re passing your motorcycle to me?!”

“Are you crazy? Fuck no,” Yoongi rolls his eyes, snatching his helmet back from you. He doesn’t miss the bratty frown that fills up your entire face; he’s not exactly the biggest fan whenever you were upset or angry; maybe even both. “Obviously I forgot I even put my helmet there when I made that pile.”

You whine, stomping your feet in exasperation. You would dramatically plop down on his bed if only it wasn’t full of his shit. “Come on! You told me you were teaching me as soon as you finish teaching Joon.”

“Teaching you how to ride my scooter is not the same as giving you it. Why would I just hand you what I bought with my hard-earned money?” Yoongi scrunches his nose, tone sharper than what he intended.

“But you still haven’t taught me,” you murmur to placate yourself and dissuade yourself from the delusion that Yoongi would even exert such an effort for you because of course — why would he do that for you?

You have an inkling that you’re being irrational for all the wrong reasons, perhaps even projecting your need to be looked after… by him.

Yoongi notices your mood that turned sour quickly, the silence between you becoming loaded. He didn’t mean to be that blunt. “I don’t think you’re even old enough to have your driving permit,” he adds in consolation, voice considerably softer.

You snicker lowly, still looking at your feet with your arms crossed. “But I’m old enough to backpack whenever you need me to carry shit that can’t fit in your carrier.”

He immediately groans at your comeback, his furrowed eyebrows mirroring yours. “You’re so stubborn.”

“You’re a hypocrite,” you retort, knowing for a fact he’s known how to drive even before he was eligible for permits and licenses and whatnot. 

Yoongi takes one, two seconds to himself to regain his composure, clearing his head in the process. You’re still not looking at him and you’re pouting and you don’t even notice the latter, making him crack a small smile.

“I will teach you next week.”

“Oh my-…”

He cuts you off, raising his hand in emphasis. “Provided that you listen to everything I say and wear full gear at all times. You clearly don’t have a job yet-…”

“Ouch.”

“And I don’t have the extra money to buy full gear for myself, so what you’ll do is bundle up with your padded coat and the thickest jeans you have,” Yoongi enunciates every word, eyes keenly on you. They’re too wide and alert, you actually feel like listening to him.

“You go on rides wearing your pajamas.”

“Just say ‘thank you, Yoongi’.” 

“You haven’t done anything yet,” you trail off, head tilting in confusion. 

You’ve had a million conversations like this with Yoongi before but of different fonts; worn, familiar, and warm.

“Thank you, Yoongi,” he mouths, nodding at you to do the same. He won’t stop until you utter them back to him, and you know you won’t go home either without giving him your gratitude as you always do.

“Thank you, Yoongi,” you relent, the grin that breaks through your lips being infectious enough that he laughs lowly to himself.

He exhales all the worries he has and could possibly ever have seeing you ride the motorcycle (or for you yearning to do everything that he does), grasping at whatever sanity he has left from looking after you.

“You can have the helmet.”

( ♡ )

Yoongi knows the ins and outs of your home.

He’s been at your house too much to the point that your mom already gave him a spare key and nobody batted an eye about it. He has his own designated slippers at the entryway too, something you would only use in a hurry if you needed to sign off on a package.

Yoongi, for some reason unfathomable (not really; you can tell exactly why because your mom is an extremely warm and inviting person), also has the power of dibs on the food in your fridge. He’d put strips of masking tape with his name on food that’s neither brought in nor made for him in the first place. 

It should be off-putting — the way that for too many yet too little reason, Yoongi has become a prominent figure in your life even if you didn’t ask him to. You should be peeved that you have to set up four plates more often that you set up only three; you should be annoyed at some point that when you wake up at random times through the night, you’re not totally alone to begin with.

You shouldbe angry at Yoongi to a degree because he’s in your life and you don’t get to have a say on how he stays in it. The only problem is that you’re not, and probably never will.

“Can’t sleep?” you mutter as you look up from your strikingly clear paper, seeing Yoongi strut across the floor with a casualness that only real occupants of the house should supposedly possess. He has his brows furrowed at you as if he didn’t expect to see you in your living room, scratching his head in wonder.

“Why are you up?”

“Stressed,” you sigh, giving up altogether in attempting to make yourself look busy. Yoongi drives by your fridge to get himself a can of beer, finally seating himself beside you on the floor. 

“Stressed about what? I’m sure it’s not about studying,” he snorts, unsurprised at your paper and the clear lack of motivation behind it. You only roll your eyes at him and he has half a mind to not remind you to not do it so much, the frown in your face reminding him that you really were frustrated.

It is you to throw the occasional tantrum, but he remembers that it was only when you were young; when Namjoon would whisper gibberish to his ear and purposely not whisper to yours just so he could tease you, or when nobody would believe that you taught yourself how to ride a bike with no training wheels. You didn’t know how to do the latter at all, but what had made you throw a tantrum was that nobody believed you.

You notice Yoongi’s digs, of course. You notice each one of his more than unsubtle nods to your intelligence and whatnot, the shots at your intellect not flying over your head like he expected them to.  You admit that you’ve never been that scholastic; you weren’t born a genius and you don’t try exactly hard either.

Yoongi’s only joking but you can’t help but to think that he’s pertaining to something deeper, his constant digs at your lack of a passion making you sluggish.

“We have to write this essay,” you answer simply, your tone straightforward and unwilling for banter but Yoongi bites anyway.

“But essays are the easiest,” he trails, looking at you the whole time as he takes a sip of his beer.

You exhale heavily because no matter what, he just can’t seem to get it. Yoongi knows where you’re coming from but he doesn’t know where you’re headed. As a matter of fact, you don’t know where you’re headed either. “We have to write an essay about where we see ourselves ten years from now.”

“But that’s still easy.”

“If it’s so easy, then go write it for me,” you snicker, leaning back with a huff. He constantly undermines you and although you own up to your striking mundaneness from time to time, it didn’t mean that you liked being looked down on. Yoongi’s too used to you being yourself, he gets taken aback when you grow sick of your own.

He gathers all his willpower, far from being sleepy unlike you who would’ve been lulled to sleep if only you weren’t dead-set on arguing with him. “You know what? I actually will,” he claps, handing you his beer. “Go hold this for me.”

Yoongi grips your pen for dear life like you hold his beer, his hand warm as he works from sheer determination alone (he’s not competing with anyone except for whatever expectation you have for him and your paper), while yours was cold just holding his drink.

You’ve been so quiet that he actually gets curious, turning his head to check to see if you’ve dozed off when actually, it’s just you eyeing the can.

“No one’s watching,” Yoongi breaks you out of your thoughts, carelessly shrugging. He cares and he’s far too concerned for you, but he figures that nothing would hurt you so long as he can grasp you. “It’s okay. You can have your first sip.”

You blink owlishly at him and when he jokes about taking it back, you take your first swig of beer in a panic. Yoongi only shakes his head in amusement, pausing his writing just to see the look on your face.

“One more?” he asks right after he sees you wince, the unbearable sweetness yet bitter, stinging aftertaste of the beer making you shudder. 

You have the urge to wash off the taste with ice cold water (you’ll even drink from the tap because you’re so desperate), but you resist it just so you wouldn’t look like a weakling in front of him. You wave him off with a bitterness, upset that beer doesn’t taste like what you’ve always imagined it to be. “Just write my essay for me,” you mull over the taste in your tongue, in deep thought while you stare at Yoongi’s back ahead of you. “Do all beers taste that way?”

“Eh. Most of them do. You develop a taste for it later on,” he answers, taking the can back from you before drinking it himself. He looks too dedicated in writing your essay, only goading the curiosity in you to peek over his shoulder.

He knows you, both in heart and memory, because he shields your own paper from you when he sees your shadow hovering above him.

“Yoongi?”

“Hm.”

“I told you why I’m up. Why are you up?”

He’s silent entirely, the only indication that he heard your question being his hand pausing abruptly. Yoongi doesn’t answer, and you don’t ask again. “Don’t worry about it.”

You take his answer to heart, dozing off on the couch before you know it. You don’t remember a blanket being placed on you, nor can you remember preparing your backpack for school the next day.

Your paper’s neatly tucked into your portfolio bearing handwriting that’s clearly not yours, but with a sentiment that’s similar nonetheless. You read through everything quickly before even stepping towards your teacher, the tips of your fingers just as cold as Yoongi’s beer last night.

You’ve committed the paper into your memory, even until the last part with an excerpt you can’t forget despite having passed the paper already. You don’t know what to feel because it’s Yoongi who’s speaking for you, detailing that ten years from now, you will still be your mother’s daughter and your brother’s sister.

He wrote your essay either for you or in behalf of you, and you can’t tell which one is better.

Yoongi, who knows the ins and outs of your home and the peaks and troughs of your heart, writes in clear handwriting — Ten years from now, I will still be Yoongi’s rock.

( ♡ )

Surprisingly, Yoongi hasn’t been around that much lately.

Even Namjoon (who you consider as his Siamese twin) is clueless to why his friend hasn’t been hanging out with him lately to do either everything or nothing, confused because they’re enrolled to the same classes all the way to the same part-time jobs, yet Yoongi’s been mostly unavailable.

When Yoongi is, however, he doesn’t speak at all about his previous absences. He comes as if he’s never disappeared a few times before that, his evasion to talk about his presence being apparent even if you’ve asked him directly.

You’re getting used to his new routine of hanging out with you only when the both of you are free, no longer moving mountains for both of your schedules to line up. He’s more present this month than he was at the last, the criteria for it being how many times you bump into him in your own home.

Despite all odds and evens though, Yoongi can’t get used to your silence. He knows you hold grudges longer than your brother, and the last time that he checked, he knows you’ve already let go of your annoyance for him suddenly being unavailable without any explanation. 

It’s late, only the two of you are awake in the living room, there’s ten scratch tickets on the table for you to share, and he’s even gotten you your own glass to which he’ll put a controlled amount (a grand total of two long sips) of his own beer in. You’re not stressing about an essay this time, but the unconscious pout on your face is still the same.

“You’re awfully quiet.”

The frown on your face only goes deeper at being found out, the scratch of your lucky coin being the only clear thing that Yoongi hears. 

“My best friends want to have this slumber party,” you sigh, more upset about what you’ve just uttered than you are happy about the cash prize you’ve just won.

Yoongi takes what you say at face-value, groaning at his third straight loss for the night. “That’s great. Wear cute pajamas, snap a couple of polaroids, don’t be the first to fall asleep and last to wake up, and just keep a pocket knife with you when you’re going out by yourself.” 

The awe (and slight concern) over what he said should roll in any time now.

You should be comforted at Yoongi’s words because they’re supposed to ease the swirl of your stomach, even if what he just said is a repackaged version of what your family said before. You should let go of your worries because Yoongi, of all people, says that it’s supposed to be great.

Instead, you feel neither of what you think Yoongi wants you to.

“Was it something I said?” he mumbles after some time, turning his nose up at you as he tries to retrace his words. “I have an extra pocket knife you can borrow if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“We’re gonna be talking about boys, Yoongi,” you screw your eyes shut, sighing into the palms of your hands with a heaviness. “We’re gonna talk about crushes and experiences and all that.”

He shudders at that, his reaction mirroring Namjoon’s when you tried opening up to him. You get your brother’s reaction to a degree, of course, because you feel as if you’d be disgusted too if the roles were reversed. You want to talk about it with your mom too, but at the end of the day, she’s your parent and you just can’t talk about anything and everything with her. 

Yoongi’s your next plausible option.

“Do you want some ice cream right now? You know what, I’ll buy you-…” Yoongi tries to evade the topic altogether, his attempt of escaping feeble as you drag him down by his hoodie.

“I haven’t had my first kiss yet.”

“Heh.”

Yoongi shrugs at that, regaining his words when you deadpan at him. “So? What about it?”

You starfish on the floor at that out of frustration, the whine you’ve been bottling up coming out in the open because as usual, Yoongi doesn’t get it. “I-I’m probably the only one in my grade who hasn’t kissed someone yet! I can’t just lie carelessly because obviously, they’ll ask around.”

“So?” Yoongi chuckles, his breeze towards your state shocking you. “What’s it to them if you haven’t had your first kiss?”

“You don’t get it,” you grit through your teeth, crossing your arms so hard that it feels hard to inhale.

“I’m pretty sure I do,” he sing-songs, drinking the last of his beer. When you’re not looking though, he plans to either drink or chuck the remainder of your share because he doesn’t want you to develop a taste for it.

The anger you have for Yoongi bubbles up once again, the itch in your throat unbearable. You’re presented with the age gap between you once more, along with the raging emptiness in you that Yoongi’s reached so far and you’ve reached so little.

“You don’t get it because you’ve had all of these experiences when you were younger than my age right now,” you snap, although you don’t look at him when you do. If you do look at him though, you’ll only be reminded of how a face like his could have everything in this world — even a first kiss you’ve never had.

“Yeah, and so?” he knits his brows, growing defensive. You weren’t lying at all, but he still feels a little offended at the dig. He’s not not proud of it, but with the way you say it, it’s like you want him to burn in shame,

“Stop saying so,” you angrily mumble in frustration, a little breathless because you still don’t ease up on crossing your arms.

Yoongi straightens his posture, staring you down with his jaw set. He’s stern as he is, nostrils flaring in irritation. “No, Y/N. I’m genuinely asking — so what? What’s it to you if I had my first kiss at a younger age? What about it if everyone else in your grade has kissed someone and you haven’t? It’s not the end of the world.”

“I-I don’t know! It’s just unfair!” you let up, yielding to both the facts that Yoongi’s right with it not being the end of the world, and that you’re still entitled to feeling upset.

“Instead of spending time obsessing over your first kiss, maybe I don’t know,  try being productive? You’re heading to college soon and you haven’t even thought of a career,” Yoongi goes off on you, making you roll your eyes automatically. There he goes again with the great big push of trying to push you into your supposed passions in life. “Someone else’s luck doesn’t mean it’s already your misfortune.”

“But it is.”

You say it so definitively, you almost convince him. You have your principles and so does Yoongi, but not everyone else. You have your principles yet you don’t have the luck. You’re not getting anywhere in life just like Yoongi or anyone else who was remotely born into wealth, no matter how quiet or obvious.

You can’t pursue something that interests you in the slightest without thinking what would come out of it. You can’t think of a degree and a course you’ll stick with, enough to do for the rest of your life because the only other option is to fail completely if you don’t. You have no plan and no passion and you don’t know if you’ll ever amount to anything to anyone at all.

By all means, you don’t agree with Yoongi this time. Someone else’s luck is your misfortune, in the same way that his first kiss doesn’t mean that it’s yours.

The sidetrack to your argument is a closed case already, judging by your downcast gaze. “I just have to put myself out there, that’s all. My first kiss doesn’t even have to mean anything. I just want to have it,” you admit, shoulders relaxing.

“Don’t,” Yoongi groans, the opposite of you as his whole body tenses.

He thinks that you don’t get him at all.

“What do you meandon’t?”

Your argument’s long-over (atleast you thought it was) but Yoongi’s getting more agitated by the minute, the disbelief on his face throwing you off. “Don’t do things just because you feel like you have to! Are you even hearing yourself right now?”

“I don’t want to be left behind, Yoongi! That’s all I’m trying to get at,” you raise your hands in surrender, shrugging thoughtlessly — it makes him want yell into a paper bag in exasperation. “I don’t want to be picked last. I don’t want to not be wanted.”

Yoongi exhales, screwing his eyes shut. It stays silent like that for a little while; him calming himself down, and you scratching your tickets. The calm doesn’t stay for long because you open your mouth carelessly, again.

“Can you be my first kiss?”

“Are you insane?”

“Ugh.”

You go back to your fourth scratch ticket, pouting in disappointment. You’re unfazed about the win that’s probably the largest sum you’ve had ever since you started doing the lottery.

You’re upset and you’re sick in the stomach but you stay silent like you never asked Yoongi to be your first kiss; it’s like you haven’t indirectly admitted to him that you love him enough, more than so, to want him to be your first.

You’re about to scratch the final ticket when Yoongi juts his hand out, fingers barely brushing yours to stop you.

“On second thought, don’t scratch that. Just keep it.”

“Because you want to turn me into a hoarder too?” you snicker, heeding his suggestion regardless.

“Because I’m not going to be right about everything,” Yoongi mumbles, looking at you with a solemnness you can’t decipher.

You try until the solemnness turns into pity.

“Still don’t want to be my first kiss?”

Yoongi softly laughs to your face, smiling as he lets you down — whether easily or harshly, you can’t tell.

“You already know what I’m going to say.”

( ♡ )

You’d like to think that you’re not kept in the dark about most things.

You already know that although your mom hasn’t had any relationships since your dad left, she still has plenty of suitors. Some of them are the reason why you have random food deliveries in the middle of the dinner that she’s already cooked, some have sucked up to her by getting you and Namjoon gifts. 

You know about Namjoon’s growing love for football, even with the lessons he takes in secret because he didn’t want to trouble your mom for the money. It’s why he does his part-time job and why you’re looking for one anyways. You don’t want nor need much, so you almost always give him the remainder of your allowance by the end of each week.

Yoongi, on the other hand, you don’t know much about. You know that he’s an only child with a doting mom who works overseas and a rich but emotionally unavailable dad at home, and that’s about it. His home life is synonymous with yours, considering that your four walls have become an extension of his.

Maybe you’ve become too lenient on him — either that, or he’s become too disrespectful. It’s at times like these where your house is not his home, sickeningly so that you don’t want it to be yours either.

Yoongi is a sight to behold as he makes out with a half-naked girl on your bed, in your room. Your room has never been the neatest but with everything going on, it feels that it’s become the dirtiest that it’s ever been. Your house slippers are on the floor even if you always leave them by the entryway, and your sheets are a mess despite being one of the only things you try to keep folded in the room.

You’re angry, too much to the point that the words get caught in your throat. They catch onto bile and venom and everything at once, the strain in your voice heard when you yell.

“What the fuck?!”

Yoongi and the girl, whom you figure out to be Hyewon that he’s shared his first kiss with, jolt in unison. Hyewon’s scared shitless while Yoongi’s annoyed to death, the grunt he lets out pricking your ears further. “Sorry, sorry. She’s my best friend’s sister. She’s so annoying,” he drags you out of your room before he even gives you the entitlement to storm out of there in a fit of rage, seeing red the longer that he seems upset at you.

“What the fuck was that, Yoongi?” you grit through your teeth, the moment of you seeing red turn into white because you’re so frustrated that you could actually cry. Your chest’s heavy, not only out of rage, but out of everything that’s built up in the course of years.

“Can you keep it down?” Yoongi seethes, pursing his lips. “What, would you rather see us do it in the living room?”

“In the — what? Who do you think you are? This isn’t even your house, why are you bringing these girls here?” you point an accusing finger at him yet he doesn’t back away, his annoyance for you only growing tenfold.

He’s in the wrong no matter which way you look at it yet he doesn’t realize it, the epiphany that Yoongi genuinely thinks he’s in the right for doing this to you making your skin burn in fire.

“This is literally the first time I’ve ever done this! I can’t bring her back to my place, my dad has guests over!”

“So your smartest idea is to fuck someone in my bed?”

“Oh, you’re welcome. It’s the most action your four walls have ever seen,” he spits sarcastically, eyes narrowing at you. It takes little effort for him to dig up what you came to him for in worry and it terrifies you. The facet of Yoongi who had sternly told you that it was okay to be left behind if it means getting what you deserve, resembling nothing like him at the moment.

“I can’t believe you!” you whisper as you tremble, the tears pricking at the corner of your eyes. “I told you that in confidence.”

“In confidence? It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that you’re not exactly a catch, Y/N.”

You clench your jaw so hard that it hurts, you ball your fists so tightly that it stings.

You leave your home without saying another word.

.

.

.

Namjoon’s panicked.

He came home a little later than usual because he had maximized the life out of his soccer lessons, only getting the signal to leave when the lights were turned off. He was only slightly worried at the first place because he was supposed to cook dinner for the both of you, but he placated himself by realizing that you’re not the baby that he still thinks you are — you could cook dinner for yourself if you were hungry already.

He thinks nothing of it. In fact, he just makes a quick stop at the convenience store so the both of you could indulge in a liter of ice cream without your mom urging to leave some for another night. You could think of a recipe from scratch (and it almost always works out at the end), so Namjoon walked in fully thinking he’ll get to sniff whatever concoction you have.

Except, he walks into a completely dark house, and that’s when he panics.

He can’t find your slippers by the entryway and you’re not in your room either. You’re not at the other convenience store hunched over taking your chances on scratch tickets, and you’re not out on the street either going people-watching.

The panic rises in him the more that Namjoon grasps this is the first time that this has ever happened and he doesn’t know why. He’s always made an effort to be absorbed into both your personal and academic affairs, and as far as he knows, you’re neither in a sleepover nor on a field trip somewhere.

Namjoon thinks it’s his fault someway somehow, and the guilt can’t fully dissipate from him until he sees you.

“Hey, Yoongi,” he breathlessly gasps the moment his friend answers, the latter being surprised because he thought it was you who was calling him after what happened awhile ago.

It’s his fault and he’s realized that hours too late, and the selfish part of him thinks that it’s you calling at ten in the evening begging for forgiveness.

“What’s up, man? It’s late,” he wonders out loud, thinking for a second if they were too much of the Siamese twins that you tease them to be because he can’t think of a rational reason why Namjoon would call him at this time of night.

Namjoon raggedly exhales, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, sorry about that. I’m just wondering if you’ve seen Y/N by any chance?”

Yoongi’s heart drops so loudly that Namjoon thought for second that his friend had hung up on him, his urgency being shared the moment that he asked.

“What? Y/N isn’t home?” Yoongi asks in disbelief, immediately being filled with anxiety and disbelief. Just awhile ago, the two of you were arguing outside of your room. He did hear you leave, but he had fully expected for you to be back hours ago. He’s wracked with guilt all over, the drop in his chest amplified by the pit in his stomach.

“She’s not. Practice ran late and I-I know she’s responsible so I didn’t hurry home,” Namjoon recalls, being more and more frazzled by the second. “She left her phone here, and mom isn’t here either because she’s visiting my grandparents, a-and I don’t want to call her because I know she’ll be worried, a-and-…”

Yoongi interrupts him, the tremble in his fingers only enabling him to dig his nails into his palm deeper. “I’m coming over. Let’s look for her together.”

It barely takes a minute for the both of them to come together, not even exchanging any pleasantries with each other before Yoongi steps on the gas. 

Namjoon’s filled with guilt, the type that only a sibling could carry as a burden. He thinks he was too selfish — too accustomed to pulling your own weight that it must have given you the impression that you had no other choice but to. Whatever it was that made you leave out of the blue, Namjoon thinks he could’ve done more. He should’ve came home and made you dinner as promised, for starters. He’s guilty over the fact that he’s the only close familial male figure in your life and he let this happen, as he makes Yoongi put his headlights on high-beam, scanning for anyone that looks remotely like you.

Yoongi, on the other hand, is filled with a guilt he can’t even begin to explain. It corrodes him from the inside-out in realization that he’s to blame for your sudden disappearance, the fact that Namjoon comes to him first to help find you not helping at all. If only your brother knew what he had done to you, he’s positive that he’ll be on the receiving end of a punch — what gets him more is that Yoongi wouldn’t blame him at all.

They see you in the bus stop two cities away, dressed in the same clothes you ran out with. 

Namjoon’s relieved beyond compare while Yoongi’s fuming, his hands tucked inside his jacket to prevent himself from squeezing you into an embrace; neither of you deserve it. 

There’s an underlying anger within Namjoon, one that lies behind the back of his throat as he checks you over for any injuries. The two of you walk ahead to Yoongi’s car while he himself trails behind, his heart significantly calmer than it was the past hour, yet nowhere near normal.

“Wanna tell me what you did?” your brother hums, trying to exhale the worry that’s embedded into him with each squeeze he gives around your shoulders.

“Went to the convenience store, bumped into my friends, then we took this impromptu roadtrip to go to the night market, then we all had our first actual shot of liquor and not just beer, my friend who owns the car turned out to be a lightweight, and now everyone just has to commute home,” you narrate in recollection, squeezing Namjoon back to try and ground him.

“Okay,” he answers simply, nodding. “Wanna tell me what happened before you did all those things?”

The breathless chuckle that leaves you is empty, void of any amusement at all. You smile nonetheless, unable to placate both yourself and Namjoon. “Nope.”

You arrive in silence to Yoongi’s car, the words unsaid between the three of you generating more tension than your brief disappearance itself.

Yoongi opens the front door for you, but you settle for sitting in the backseat.

[sehodreams]

come inside of my heart

TW and Tags: all consensual, smut, fluff (corny moments, sorry), porn with plot(?), making out sessions, weird characters(?), fingering, Seunghan overthinking, mutual pining(?), corruption kink(?), p in v, oral sex (both receiving), dom!Seunghan, friends with benefits(?)(more like classmates with benefits).

WC: 14k (I’M.SO.SORRY)

Summary: Seunghan has a problem with letting people stay close to him for long, so when he meets you, he expects his interest to fade like it usually does, but this time things seem to be different.

Comment: Again, another weird story that didn’t end or go like I expected, my head it’s kind of weird while writing idk, I wanted it to be a story of Seunghan plainly fucking reader so much she couldn’t think anymore, but it still has porn. Also, I think this should be under a fantasy category because it’s so idealistic hahahaha.

Yeah, I should stop writing on my laptop because these stories have gone from 4k to 10k+ and my mind can’t take it, and I'm sorry, but after this, I'm taking at least a two-day break, I wasn't going to let it win but it did suck my whole soul, so Seunghan better comes back soon, let's think this is an early celebration.

Pd: I did a bit of proofreading but not much, only at the end because I realized that I always write everything in past, and suddenly it was all in present and it was so weird.

Seunghan, unlike what many think, gets easily bored of people.

He doesn't know if it has something to do with his mbti or whatever people talked about those days, but what he knows is that, since he was young, he’s liked to know people, but he also got quickly tired of them.

For him, it was easy to start the communication, and with that he doesn’t mean being the first one saying hello or introducing himself, he hated being the one making the first step, but he liked to be the first one doing the real questions. Seunghan would prefer to say he was naturally curious, but he wasn’t, he wanted to know what people’s hobbies and thoughts were with the purpose of learning how to behave and what to say to them, because more than curious, he liked to be liked.

There wasn’t anything he disliked more than useless problems and uncomfortable moments with people he didn’t care enough about, so for his own peace, and to maintain the harmony around him, he preferred to just please others.

He knew he had a talent not many had, making people comfortable came to him almost like breathing, and, therefore, many wanted to stay around him, but not many got the privilege of staying for long.

It was hard to keep him entertained, so it was common to see different people flying around him, whether he was the one talking or listening, it didn’t matter, people felt attracted to his presence, and he enjoyed the attention even when he didn’t say anything at all, so he let them approach him, but if they didn’t have anything else to offer than their company, he’d go and find another person that picked his interest until he got bored and repeated the cycle again. Still, even knowing they wouldn’t last long, everyone wanted to stay by his side, and they would work hard for it, but if Seunghan didn’t want them in his space, he’d softly push them away by filling their roles with other characters, and not finding their place beside him anymore, they’d slowly leave him without making a scene.

To your luck, or disgrace, you somehow had caught his interest this time.

As expected, after you caught his attention, he decided to dig as much as he could about you, however, what was unexpected, was the kind of person you were and how you caught his attention.

He had a type for everything, at his age he knew enough about what he usually liked. He liked smart opinionated people who always had something to say, he liked how being seen with them always elevated his status and profile in everyone else’s eyes, so they were most of the people that always flocked with him, and of course, that included pretty girls with energetic voices. The way they would follow the conversation with witty remarks and would understand his humour left a lingering feeling of satisfaction he tried to savour as long as he could when he flirted with them, and he couldn't deny it, he was a sucker for pretty faces, he loved the way their smiles would shine and illuminate the room, and how they matched his eagerness for the public attention.

Surprisingly, in the curse of his life, he hasn't had a ton of dates, he’s had his fair share of relationships and an impressive quantity of received confessions, but he carefully chose who to give such opportunity to before he decided to accept the other's feelings. Going out with him had to bring something into his life for him to decide they were good enough to receive his time and effort, and since he knew how easily he could get tired of them, they had to make him think that he would enjoy their presence for at least a decent period of time.

He's never had to chase anyone, he's always been the chased one, or he was until you arrived, and what bothered his mind every time he ran to you was that you weren't his style at all.

You didn’t check any of his boxes.

In first place, you weren't energetic at all. You never matched his conversations with equal happiness, you didn't understand his jokes most of the time and you didn't even try to continue the flow of his conversations. With no remarks and no comments, you'd let the contact die as soon as you could, which always itched something in the back of his head. He can even remember what your first messages looked like. He would send two or three lines of whatever went through his mind, being extremely polite to you as his classmate, wishing to be on your good side, and you would answer with the driest ok he had ever seen in his life.

Hi, just a quick question, what do you think about moving the meetings to my house? I think it'd be better for all of us since none of them would have to pay for coffee and I have everything we might need in my place, it's just something that went through my mind and I wanted to send it to the group chat but I know you live kind of far from here so I wanted to ask you first, so what do you think?

Ok

He still gets annoyed when he remembers your past messages.

In second place, you weren't the bright person he usually liked to hang out with. You would never make anyone turn back to see you twice, sometimes they wouldn't notice you even if you were in front of them, and you'd often get ignored if he didn't repeat your comments while working together, which honestly impressed him since you only talked if you had something useful to say, so he would expect others to stay silent when you showed intentions of entering the conversation, but your voice would simply get lost between everyone spitting random ideas and opinions that were rather pointless. You were still kind enough to answer each of them before everyone followed your ideas, receiving no appreciation back from anyone, and it did bother him to see that happening every meeting, hoping that at some point everyone would learn to shut up and give you your time, but it bothered him even more to see that you didn’t care if they listened to you or not.

At least, after a couple of meetings, it was almost established that his seat would be always next to you because no one, except him, found being near you important.

And last but not least, your face wasn't his type. You weren't ugly, but you weren't the prettiest girl in the room either. You were rather normal with your round brown eyes and your dark hair, unlike the girls with caramel eyes and smooth hair that always looked as if they just arrived from a hair salon appointment, you simply had no spark, and you didn't try to get one either. You would wear plain clothes with no sense of style, only thinking in your comfort instead of what others said behind your back, and he couldn’t imagine himself going hand in hand with you looking that way.

Seunghan almost never got involved with people like you, dull and boring. He was sure that if it wasn’t for the project, he wouldn’t have learned your name, and if it wasn’t for the unexpected turn of events, you’d have ended like one of the numerous faceless people in his past.

The way you slowly and effortlessly took a spot in his head was unconventional. Unlike the continuous messages and invitations most people did to get closer to him, you only did your stuff, working on your tasks and lending a hand if anyone asked for help, but it was kind of endearing how someone who looked so uninterested in everyone else and their opinions would work hard to help if needed. Even if they ignored you most of the time, you had no resentment at all, and when Seunghan asked you if you minded that they called for you that much, your answer was so short it made him analyze each of your words for days, ‘’Well, the work has to be done’’.

He wanted to know if you were a fool letting yourself be taken advantage of or if you simply wanted to end things as fast as you could, and he was inclining more into the latest seeing your blank face writing over your keyboard and yawning unbothered when most of them had left and you stayed to finish their parts because, just like you had said, I won’t open the document once I cross your door.

‘’Aren’t you mad?’’ he then asked.

‘’Not really, why would I get mad?’’ you said without stopping your work.

‘’I don’t know, I just feel like you should’’ Seunghan bit his lip and watched you skillfully go through the document introducing commas and changing words, not wanting to interrupt you but doing it anyways because he couldn’t stay with the doubt in his mind, ‘’don’t you ever get mad?’’

‘’Uhmm no’’ you answered without stopping your work, ‘’I do get mad, I don’t mind correcting other’s work on the computer, but I hate washing other’s dishes.’’

That makes sense, he thought, because you never offered yourself to help him wash everyone’s cups once they left you two alone, and he didn’t realize it until that moment, but the common thing would’ve been to at least offer yourself to take them to the kitchen, thing you never did.

Another question popped into his mind.

‘’Don’t you work in a restaurant?’’ he, after a long time, asked.

‘’Yeah’’

He laughed for days when that conversation replayed in his head.

A routine had been formed after many reunions. Every member of the group would go to his house each Thursday for a couple of hours to show what they had advanced for the big project and the little work the professor left through the semester. You’d arrive a couple of minutes earlier than them since you finished your shift in the restaurant you worked at, and you’d stay there silently scrolling your phone while he revised the shared document. Then, when they all left, you would stay to check with him his work, he trusting you to respectfully correct him and help him just like you did with the others.

It was one of those numerous late nights that, whatever you had, started.

You were biting your lower lip while reading his paragraphs, making a couple of changes every now and then, not paying him any attention on your side, and he doesn’t know what went through his mind, you were calmly doing your own thing, you weren’t any different than usual, with your plain t-shirt and your glasses reflecting the screen light, no colour on your cheeks and hair strings poking out of your ponytail, when his hand moved on its own, accommodating them behind your ear.

Your hands immediately paralyzed, and your eyes stayed glued to the sentence you were about to change, surprised by his sudden action.

‘’Sorry,’’ he apologized, feeling surprised even with himself for doing that.

‘’It’s okay’’ you said and continued.

When you finished his part, you quickly grabbed your things and left, leaving him alone in his apartment with a sour taste in his mouth, repeating in his head how stupid he was for not being able to control his own hand.

You didn’t mention anything about it to anyone, and not that he had thought you would go and scream it to the public, but there was something that told him to be careful with you from that moment on, because you weren’t his prospect, and he couldn’t let you catch unnecessary feelings for him.

The next time you stayed to check his work, he kissed you.

His mind couldn’t function with you around. You, again, had done nothing different from usual, you sat beside him focused on your screen the whole time, correcting his progress, acting as if nothing had happened, making him feel like the only one overthinking the past situation. You showed no interest in him and he had repeated in his head that he should be careful with you that afternoon, he was so into it that when you arrived, instead of sitting beside you until the others got there, he went to his kitchen and rewashed the cups he gave each of them, yet when everyone had left and you were saying something about him reading a certain book to write more about the topic in his part, his hand moved to your neck, and making you face him, he pressed his lips over yours.

He had never done that before, he had never stolen a kiss, even less from someone who showed no interest in him, with no previous flirt and tons of flattering messages directed to him making clear that he could go for it.

You were reluctant at first, not corresponding to his lips movement, mouth hard like a stone. That almost threw him off, but when he was about to leave you, your mouth finally opened to him, letting him interlock his lips with yours, stealing some of your air and sensing the rare softness you had, a touch of inexperience with coffee flavour.

So smart for everything except that, he felt like he could finally teach you something, and that fired the last doubt inside him.

From that day on, every time you went to his house, he would kiss you until everyone else arrived, leaving you with glossy eyes and a different air around you that they noticed but commented nothing about, and when they left and you finished with the last touches of the document, he’d kiss you again, making you bolder and bolder to accept him with every session.

If he went to his kitchen and tapped your hand you would follow him without a word, if the last person about to leave went to the bathroom he wouldn’t doubt to quickly kiss you before they came back, and if you were doing nothing while waiting, he only had to walk to your side for you to lift your eyes and met his lips.

You showed no eagerness to start the kisses, but you always received him with appetite, and that was enough for him to not want to stop.

His preoccupation about you saying something was long forgotten, just in those meetings, even when it was only the two of you, you said no word about the kisses, a silent pact to keep what you had in secret and only behind his doors.

Also, another thing that helped him go around campus with an easy mind was that you showed no intention to change yourself. Usually, when he dated girls they would put more effort into their appearances, they would ask him to buy couple accessories to show off what they were, and then they would match his style, introducing clothes with colours he liked or constantly wore into their wardrobe, like a distinction to show off they were with him, but you didn’t try to do any of that at all, going around with the same clothes, not asking for a single thing from him, not even taunting the idea of having a shared accessory.

You weren’t dating, he knew you didn’t think you were a couple at all, so maybe that was why.

You didn’t ask him what you were, you didn’t pressure him into asking you out, or even insinuate that you liked him. He didn’t understand how you didn’t put any of those cards on the table, you had the chance every time you went to his house, but you didn’t. Seunghan couldn’t understand how you, unlike others, even himself, had no interest in grabbing the opportunity of getting a higher status and being the centre of everyone’s attention, by being with him you could escalate the pyramid, but it seemed like the invisible pyramid he always saw in his head was the last of your concerns.

He was kind of grateful that you didn’t see the point in telling others what you were doing in his living room because thanks to that he felt relaxed beside you. He knew you wouldn’t tell anyone if he did anything wrong, if his lips were too dry when he kissed you, if maybe he was using too much tongue, if his nose kept bumping yours, he didn’t feel the need to think each of his movements or to keep his perfect image, and that finally let him breath and discover how he liked to kiss, helping you discover how you liked it in the way too.

I need to breathe, I want to push my tongue more, can I bite your lip?

Both of you would sometimes throw questions in the middle of the sessions, and none of you judged each other if one wanted to try something new or wanted a break, but they were almost always short ones, enough for you to inhale air for a couple of seconds before Seunghan went back for it.

However, even if he thought the situation was perfect with you not asking for more from him in terms of the pseudo-relationship, he had started to do it without noticing.

Again, he knew how to make people comfortable, and after getting to know you all those days alone, he understood that the best thing to maintain you at ease was directly not trying to hold intruding conversations, but now instead of ignoring you until the next reunion like he always did the first times, he’d send you texts asking if you were going to class or if you had seen the new thing one of the members had written in the shared document, and then when you answered him, he would sneak a personal question in the chat, How was your shift? Did you eat already? What are you doing?

Not thinking too much about it, you gave concise replies and then forgot about him if he didn’t continue with his questions, but you had started to notice his change too, not understanding why he had decided to act like that out of nowhere.

You thought his interest in you was based more on the lack of your enthusiasm to have him around after you two were done, and your indifference to his actions outside his apartment, you thought it was that at least, reason why you felt weirded out every time he asked personal stuff.

You had no expectations of him, you convinced yourself it wasn’t worth it, and you did wish for his touch, but not for his words, not even for his ear to listen to you and agree with what you had to say. You were merely there, ready to accept his lips over yours and ready to leave his house as free as when you entered, which made him strangely confident whenever he was with you, but uneasy when you weren’t.

Still, even if you didn’t try to sustain anything with him, you’d do what he asked you to without doubt, like sitting over his lap when he patted his thighs, or walking to his kitchen when he said he wanted your company until the others arrived.

‘’Why did you arrive so early?’’ he asked one day between kisses. Your soft lips caressing his made him think you had prepared to receive him that afternoon, filling his mind with the idea of you hoping to see him earlier that day and the image of you applying lip balm before crossing his door.

He had you over his counter, your boring and plain blue jeans letting him thrust his clothed erection and enjoy the pressure, but not allowing him to differentiate the form of your cunt over him. That day he was getting impatient with not putting in, the idea had gone through his mind since your last meeting, but you hadn’t shown any intention of fucking him, so he contained himself. That was a step he wasn’t sure he should take alone. Unlike kissing, fucking you would bring another level of intimacy to the dynamic, and he doubted you would continue being the same after that, you were only a girl at the end.

‘’Coworker arrived early’’ you answered. Short, clear, and concise.

You didn’t try to satisfy his greed with an I missed you or an I wanted to see you, you let things go on their own flow, and he liked how fresh everything was with you, almost laughable of how unique your honesty was, and he wanted to keep it like that.

‘’I see’’ he smiled, a part of him disappointed but at the same time relieved.

He trusted you to always tell him the truth, even if sometimes brought him back to reality and humbled a little, he felt better knowing you wouldn’t feed his delusions with pleasant lies.

Everything was going well, each of you without mixing their lives apart from the Thursday afternoon in his house and the short conversations by text, and he was able to contain himself without problem, until that day.

Seunghan rarely had a problem with people from his past, usually once he cut the contact with them, they would get tired of reaching out to him, but this guy was one of the few pesters he couldn’t shake off.

He had been his school classmate in his last year, and Seunghan thought he wouldn’t have to see him again ever again after graduation, but he still called him every now and then to ask him to hang out.

Seunghan definitely had better things to do, but having met him outside his campus and saying hi while he was with his other friends, the boy dragged him into having dinner with other old classmates, making him think that maybe it’d be a good occasion to see old friends again, just a light conversation before they all went to do their own thing.

Seunghan should’ve known better at that point that an asshole would never change.

Arriving at one of the numerous restaurants near his house, he thought that at least, if he got bored, he could quickly escape with an excuse.

At a table on a corner there was his old classmate waiting for him, and the minute he saw that the table was just for two, Seunghan knew no one else would appear.

He tried to run away, but once the other made eye contact with him, it was too late.

‘’Hey man’’ the other greeted him.

Seunghan had no option but to sit.

Immediately he sat the other started to ramble about himself.

Trying to distract himself while the other talked, Seunghan directed his whole attention to the menu.

It was a normal chicken place that worked as a pub at night for groups to drink and play until late, he could already hear a few other people chanting for members to have shots and ordering more and more alcohol, the music was nice and the light was perfect to feel comfortable getting drunk without feeling judged, making him think that, if the other hadn’t lied, he could’ve had a good time with his old friends.

‘’Welcome, what can I get for you?’’

Seunghan instantly recognized your presence, your voice, your aroma, everything.

His eyes shot up and he looked at you, trying to distinguish if it was really you or his mind was playing him a bad (not so bad since he was glad) joke, but there you were, the one and only you.

You were wearing the kind of clothes you’d always wear but with an apron over them and a tag on your chest with your name, clearly showing that you worked there. Unlike him, you didn’t show any surprise to see him, keeping the stoic expression you always had, and the corners of his lips went up without him noticing, a smile almost taking control of his mouth, happy to see you out of the classroom or his living room, but no word came out of him.

Should he greet you like he wanted? Should he call your name and say what a surprise? Should he say he didn’t know you worked there? Because he really didn’t know.

Questions accumulated inside his head, and missing his chance, his old classmate ordered for both, and you, not displaying any disappointment or happiness or any feeling at all, left them alone.

Seunghan started to feel even more down, firmly believing that you decided to pretend you didn’t know him, was that what you wanted? To not know him out of his house?

He knew you would never act giddy to see him, you would never scream his name and run to his arms if you saw him on the other side of the street, but he had hoped that you would at least say hi, to acknowledge you knew each other, after all, you were classmates, and he didn’t want you to act like one of the girls that had a crush on him, but he didn’t want you to ignore him either.

‘’So, what do you say?’’ the annoying guy brought him out of his thinking.

‘’Sorry, what did you say? I couldn’t hear you with the music’’ Seunghan was lost the minute the other started to yap, and he didn’t feel like hearing him anymore, but the least he could do was be polite enough until he said goodbye, the last thing he needed was to hear how the other spread into the chats that Seunghan was full of himself now that he was in college, but the boy didn’t help him to stay calm at all.

Even with the big sign inside every restaurant saying that it was forbidden to smoke in shared spaces, he put a cigarette in his mouth and held it while he searched for his lighter.

‘’My friend has a booth in this club and a ton of pretty girls go all the time, you should come with me, we’ll have fun, and if we’re lucky, a better after night’’ he laughed while lighting it.

Seunghan didn’t want to meet him exactly because of that. They never shared interests, he was a lost cause always living in parties ever since they were in school, and Seunghan could say no to those outings when he was a minor, but since graduation, the other had been more and more insistent now that Seunghan didn’t have enough reasons to reject him anymore.

The other, just like when they were in school, wanted him to show up, attract a bunch of pretty girls and trap one of them to fuck them with his friendship with him as an excuse to appear more desirable.

‘’Sorry, I have class tomorrow early’’ Seunghan said, and trying to fan the smoke from his cigarette the other way, coughed before he continued, ‘’I think we should leave if you want to smoke, there’s a big sign that says not to smoke inside’’.

‘’Don’t worry about that, but talking about leaving, I think you should come with me, my friend always pays for all our drinks.’’

Shit, he started to think. Seunghan perfectly knew that tactic, typical from guys like him with no charm and no capacity to attract a girl that was in their full senses.

He hated that kind of guy, and not wanting to stay with one of them in front of you, he started to plan an excuse to leave, needing to go home and forget that night ever happened.

The other didn’t stop talking or showed any sign of putting off the nicotine stick, making him bite the inside of his cheek anxious with the idea of bringing you problems since you’d have to tell his friend that he couldn’t do that there, and knowing him, he wouldn’t stay quiet with a mere waitress telling him what he could and couldn’t do.

‘’I really think you should put that out’’ Seunghan interrupted him after a couple of minutes. The other was already in half his cigarette and Seunghan had resigned in having to put his pretty clean shirt in the dirty laundry because the smell of his cheap little vice was already impregnated in the fabric that used to have the warm and fruity aroma of his softener.

‘’Don’t be such a bummer man, light up a little’’ he joked. ‘’I’ll tell you something, if you come with me, I’ll stop, what do you say’’.

Seunghan found his offer tempting, but if he couldn’t escape there, how would he escape from the club? Well, he could get lost in the middle of all the people, and he had already decided that he would take a shower again to clean the smell of the cigarette, so it didn’t sound too bad after he contemplated the idea.

‘’Hey, go and fuck yourself, he already said he doesn’t want to go.’’

His friend almost choked with the smoke he was holding inside his mouth when he heard you, and Seunghan’s eyes opened while his mouth and thoughts completely shut down.

‘’What the- do you know her?’’ the last question was directed to Seunghan and he didn’t know what to say, his head almost shook saying no like instinct, but he stopped himself before doing it, staying still.

‘’He doesn’t have to know me, everyone here can hear how you’re trying to force him into going with you, so let him alone before I tell my boss you’re smoking here when that big ass poster clearly says you can’t, or apart from not listening you can’t read either?’’

You said all that without an ounce of fear and Seunghan couldn’t understand what was that feeling that had started to grow inside his chest, was that embarrassment for not being able to talk for himself? or embarrassment for being seen with someone like that guy? He wasn’t sure at that moment, but what he noticed was that it was mixed with another thing, annoyance. However, he didn’t know if it was with himself or with the stupid brat in front of him, and it increased once the other stood up from his seat and tried to lift his hand at you.

It was impossible the guy punched you, but just the idea of him touching you with a single finger made him interfere, something he never did.

Seunghan’s body moved on its own and grabbed him before he tried to even brush you, dragging him outside without giving you a second glance.

You didn’t flinch at all, you had met tons of worse clients, he was nothing to you, and you’d have probably ignored the whole situation if it wasn’t that Seunghan looked so troubled sitting there. You had a pact with yourself to not butt in situations that had nothing to do with you, but you knew Seunghan, he couldn’t say a frankly no for the sake of looking good, and he could easily lead people into leaving him in peace, but the other boy had bad news written all over his face, and you doubted someone as pacific as Seunghan could use his tactics with him.

You watched the drinks on the table, two untouched beers that your manager would ask why they stayed like that there, alone, and unpaid, and you just hoped that little spur of bravery didn’t bring you problems with anyone else.

Outside the restaurant Seunghan left the other guy’s arm free and, scrunching to touch his knees with the palms of his hands, he exhaled to control himself.

He started to count in his head, repeating It’s okay, It’s okay, to convince himself that nothing had happened.

‘’Woah I should talk to the owner, how could she talk to a customer like that, that girl shouldn’t be a waitress.’’

It’s not okay.

Rage started to fill him and for the first time, he felt tempted to use his punch over someone else.

‘’Don’t call me ever again.’’

Seunghan started his way to his house, not looking back, feeling that, if he saw his face again, he wouldn’t be able to control his hand from not flying directly to the other’s eye.

When Seunghan arrived at his house he saw one of the numerous flyers on his entrance, right next to the plate where he left his keys and any little thing that he received or bought on the street, recognizing the name of the restaurant where you worked at, and just there a memory came to his mind, you leaving that little paper with an ugly old design, sighing and saying I don’t know if I’m cursed or anything, but my work seems to never leave me alone.

Now he understood why when he saw the direction the other had sent, he felt so eager to go, because even if he couldn’t remember it, his body did it for him, wanting to be near you.

He tossed his shirt into the laundry. He had worn it that day believing it would still be clean enough the next day and he’d be able to wear it in front of all the group, but especially, in front of you, and when he tried to sleep, but the whole night the only thing that occupied his mind was how would you see him that afternoon.

When the clock marked the hour in which you usually arrived, he started to clean his table, again. He had already spent most of his morning cleaning his place to receive the group, but he didn’t know how to stay still with the memory of the disastrous previous night. He kept wondering, what would you say? Would you think he was like his friend? Impossible. Would you pretend nothing happened like you always did? That seemed pretty possible.

He kept convincing himself to not bother you with questions on his part, like, would you always act like you didn’t know him in the streets? Did he have to ignore you every time he saw you out there? Did you think he was pathetic for not being able to give a straight no? Because he thinking it was enough to torment his night, and sure the next ones would have him meeting the same fate too.

His watch alarm sounded while he was dusting his couch pillows for the third time, making him feel anxious because it usually sounded when you were already there, with him, accepting his kisses and his hands grasping your body as much as he allowed himself.

You didn’t arrive until much later when all the other guys were already there.

At least you took your seat beside him like you always did, making him feel at ease a little bit.

It wasn’t enough, Seunghan felt his hands sweating and he couldn’t stop his leg from moving under the table, so after many lost minutes, he decided it was enough, and tapping your hand he signalled the way to his kitchen, telling you to follow him in silence.

Thankfully, and as expected, you didn’t protest, leaving everyone else concentrating on their own stuff.

When you two got to his kitchen, you perfectly knowing your way at that point after so many afternoons watching him move around, to get busy, you filled his kettle with water to boil it and make more coffee, to have an excuse for disappearing from his living room.

‘’Did you get in trouble after we left?’’ Seunghan started.

You played with the force of the fire in his kitchen, and finally leaving it as high as possible, you answered.

‘’Not really.’’

‘’Will they cut the beers from your pay?’’

‘’Nah, you can have a couple of drinks for free a day, so my coworkers had them.’’

The way you looked so recollected should’ve brought him peace, you didn’t get in trouble, which was good, a happy ending, but he got more stressed.

‘’Why did you get involved?’’ he asked the one thing that bothered him the most the last night.

‘’Are you really asking me that?’’ you laughed, ‘’I just felt like doing it.’’

‘’But why.’’

‘’Why do you care so much Seunghan? I’m sorry if I brought you problems, I didn’t mean to, okay?’’ you wanted to leave the topic behind, so you didn’t look at him, nails busy scratching a point of dust off his counter.

You, just like Seunghan, hated getting involved in uncomfortable situations, but unlike him, you didn’t have the ability to swiftly change topics or help everyone involved feel better, resorting to abruptly trying to end discussions with apologies, to then ignore the problem.

That irritated him, how you avoided his eyes and tried to keep yourself busy to not take your part in the situation.

Seconds passed by, and he could hear the water starting to boil, so he knew he wouldn’t have much time until the others started to wonder what you two were doing in his kitchen alone.

His hand grabbed yours when he got tired of you not looking at him, but you kept your eyes down, directing them to his floor titles this time.

‘’Look at me’’ he ordered, and you, not being able to not follow his words, looked up at him.

The silence wasn’t like the one you had when you arrived, it was tense, and it had started to pick on your nerves, pushing you to talk again. ‘’He was bothering you, and you looked uncomfortable, I’m sorry if you didn’t want me to intervene.’’

His grip on you got softer and he exhaled through his nose, a tenderness installing on his chest with your eyes looking at him and your voice wavering but finally answering his question.

He then felt bad, he was no one to talk to you like that, and he never had discussions like that either. He knew how to keep the waters calm and get the other person to participate in the talk, making them feel heard and making them listen to what he had to say, but with you he forgot how to do that, carrying the conversation to another direction instead of the one he wanted to take. ‘’No, I’m sorry, I just wanted to thank you, I don’t know why it sounded as if I was complaining’’ he said, mind not as foggy anymore.

‘’I’m sorry’’ you said again, making him smile this time, because both of you would never stop saying sorry if he didn’t change the tone of the conversation.

‘’Thank you for helping me’’ he said to leave everything behind on good terms.

You nodded, air less tense and comfortable enough for him to move his body closer to you, and hand in hand, cornering you to his counter, after you moved your eyes from his eyes to his lips, he felt as if he had permission to take his Thursday kiss, giving you a peck, to then leave other, and other, until they stopped being just pecks and converted into a deep one.

His other hand went to your waist, playing with the hem of your long plain t-shirt, they never let him sneak a hand to touch the skin inside because of how long they were, and that kind of bothered him, but at the same time it made him smile with his lips over yours, liking the softness all your clothes had.

He had changed his softener to yours after you told him what you used, it was a cheap brand, but it does the job, and he liked to share something as banal as that with you.

The kettle whistle didn’t make him stop, and with the same hand playing with your clothes, he turned off the kitchen, so it didn’t sound anymore.

He had to prepare the new round of coffee for everyone outside, so after a last long-lasting peck, he let you go, but with one last order before you went outside to sit with everyone else.

‘’Don’t pretend to not know me in public.’’

Time went flying after that, and finally able to concentrate, he wrote as much as he could while waiting for everyone to leave you two alone to continue your routine.

When all of them left, you surprised him once again.

Standing with him, you grabbed a couple of cups to take to the kitchen with him, making him grin because that was just so uncharacteristic of you, and he knew you wanted something else to happen.

In his kitchen, alone, you stayed beside him watching him wash the cups and everything he had used that afternoon while he talked about the book you had recommended to him, and once he finished, he dried his hands on the towel you handed him, to then push you to his kitchen counter and taste you.

Your lips he had missed for a week had a different flavour, sweeter this time, still kind of bitter because of the coffee, but there was just something else.

Perhaps it was because you started the kiss this time, pulling his belt until his chest was touching yours and his eyes looked down at you with attention, or perhaps it was simply something else that he didn’t know, maybe you put more sugar in your drink? He didn’t care enough to keep guessing.

One hand going to cup your cheek while the other roamed your waist, he sighed when over your lips when a whimper left your mouth.

His hips were getting impatient, and he had started to thrust onto your clothed sex without thinking, but it was an automatic motion his body did for him, not that he had thought for so many days how your sweet insides would feel, or taste.

He wouldn’t fuck you; he had decided that.

Kisses were more than enough, he tried to convince himself.

But Hong Seunghan was just a man, and mere kisses were never going to be enough, so pulling apart, he tried to think he was stronger than what he really was, and he really tried it, until you grabbed his hand to cup you.

‘’Are you sure?’’ he asked you, hand cupping your pussy harder but still decided to let you go if you didn’t want it.

He had stolen a kiss from you before, but doing something like that without your firm approbation was too much for him.

‘’Just do it Seunghan’’ you replied, opening your legs for him even more.

You were wearing jeans and the rough material felt good against his clothed erection, but not against his hand, so he opened your button and pushed his hand inside your underwear, feeling your clit and drawing the direction your lips showed him to find your entrance.

‘’You’re wet, been thinking about me?’’ He murmured against your ear.

Your tailbone was against the hard marble counter of his kitchen, feeling the border of it sink strongly against you, but it felt so good to have his hand touching you there while he whispered right next to your ear.

He had you opening your legs for him while he situated himself beside you, one leg between yours, his right hand smearing your arousal, and the other gripping the counter to not get too lost in you.

You didn’t answer, ashamed of letting more embarrassing noises out when he was just taunting you.

He wasn’t doing anything, just feeling you with the palm of his hand, and you still felt something forming in the pitch of your stomach you had never felt with anyone before.

Seunghan knew you were a virgin, he was the one who taught you how to give open-mouthed kisses after all, but you never imagined he would be the one making you feel that way.

You two were so different, you had seen him walking around campus with his friends, his sole presence making everyone turn their heads to him, you would’ve never expected to end in a situation like this one with him, or that he’d be the one taking all the first steps.

‘’Stop laughing’’ you said when he continued still.

You had weeks of building up, going home with your panties dripping after he kissed you until you couldn’t breathe, you needed more, but he wasn’t taking the first step anymore, only kissing you, rutting his boner in your entrance and letting you go with a painful smile.

You were too proud to tell him you wanted more, and you wouldn’t have followed him to his kitchen with the cups of coffee if you hadn’t had enough.

Never helping him that way, tired of doing it every day at your job, you thought this was the time.

This was the time before everything fell apart.

You knew how fragile human relationships were, reason why you didn’t want to have a boyfriend or anything like that before.

You had seen in first person how people could change from one day to another, and how anything, didn’t matter how deep looked like, could end in a blink.

Yesterday you felt it was over, you thought that Seunghan would push you away and the make-out sessions would never happen again, but he had kissed you, so you decided to take the first step to feel him more before everything ended.

You thought, everything would finish at one point in time, and if it wasn’t because of a discussion, it would be when the project was over, whatever happened first, so you didn’t have enough time to be proud anymore.

His hand moving brought you out of your thinking, sliding his fingers up and down your slit, you felt his fingertips brushing your clit, sending a shiver through your spine and making you open your mouth, surprised.

‘’Feels good, right?’’ he asked with a smile, drawing circles and feeling as good as you just by looking at your face showing exactly all you were feeling.

Mouth open and eyebrows frown, you let him do what he wanted with you, trusting his experience to take you to an unknown place.

‘’Answer’’ he ordered, stopping his fingers from pressing that little bud and making you shook your head.

‘’Yes, it feels good’’ you answered, letting your head fall to his shoulder and sighing before grabbing his wrist to move it again, but he was a lot stronger, and you could only wrap your hand around him, not being able to close your fingers of how big he was.

Although he had pretty hands, they were still manly, strong, and a lot bigger than yours, and moving his hand again, he showed you the pace you should take when he wasn’t with you, but you doubted you’d be able to feel the same way if it wasn’t his hand the one touching you.

‘’Remember, just like this’’ he said, flicking his index on your clit and making you whimper.

He had that fucking grin on his face the whole time and you couldn’t dare to look at him, feeling at disadvantage to his knowledge.

You were smart, you knew a lot of things, you proofread his work, you checked everyone’s work, and you know you’re always right when you answer questions, but right there you were nothing compared to him, and that made you furious, but it calmed you at the same time.

He might have that grin, but he was treating you so well, softly showing you how real pleasure felt like, you doubted you would’ve felt that comfortable with anyone else in that situation.

Pushing one finger inside, the middle one, he let the other fingers rest while his thumb continued with the caresses to your clit.

Your panties were slightly pushed down with the way he was touching you, and the hard marble was now touching directly at your skin, but the cold sensation of it with the warmness of his hand made everything better, making you stay focused on what was happening the whole time.

‘’Oh god,’’ you cried when his finger started thrusting your entrance.

The spongy and smooth texture of your walls welcomed him without problem, and he cursed at how good you felt.

Getting dizzy, he thought about how you would receive him, how you’d wrap him, and how he would make you used to his size since he’d be the first person fucking you, which filled his chest with something else he couldn’t recognize, was that happiness? It was more like relief.

But it also terrified him.

The need that was increasing inside him to have you near, close to him, with him, it terrified him.

He’s not used to that kind of emotion, he feels tired of people, he knows that, but would he become tired of you?

‘’Seunghan,’’ you moaned his name, pushing your hips down to his hand so he fucked you with his finger again.

He looked at your face, eyes glossy and red lips after all the kisses and how you bit them to not cry out loud, and he added one more.

‘’Why did you get involved yesterday?’’ he asked you again.

You couldn’t understand his words, it resonated inside your mind, but you couldn’t think of an exact answer with his fingers fucking you harder and faster.

‘’I couldn’t let him… he was bothering you…’’ you said as you could.

‘’Good’’ he said, still fingering you, ‘’Will you ignore me outside again?’’

You were moving in unison with his hand, meeting him each time he pushed his fingers and his palm pressed your clit.

‘’No,’’ you cried, feeling that tight sensation form in your abdomen again, more intense, painful.

‘’Good, now cum’’ he ordered.

You cried on his shoulder pretty loud when he gave you permission, you didn’t know you would need one to have an orgasm, maybe that was why you couldn’t do it on your own, but it was life-changing how real, intense, and amazing, pleasure could be.

Trembling on his chest, your head still on his shoulder, and you trying to catch your breath, he made you face him to leave a couple of pecks on your lips again, almost loving and incredibly peaceful, as if you had done that many times before, making you feel comfy on his presence and with his hand still prying inside your underwear.

A couple of minutes later he helped you pull up your jeans again, but they were a mess, so he made you follow him to the laundry room and gave you a pair of clean boxers.

‘’Better than nothing’’ you said when he apologized for not having anything better.

He gave you a pair of his numerous grey pants and seeing how you were struggling to keep them in place, offered to walk you to the bus stop just in case.

‘’You looked good yesterday’’ you said to fill the silence after many minutes.

Seunghan regretted having offered to keep you company to the stop, walking on an uncomfortable silence that seemed to only affect him, you completely calm beside him, but when you said that, he smiled, feeling glad for doing something different for once.

‘’You too, that apron fits you’’ he said in a teasing tone. For him, it felt like flirting, for you, it felt like it too, but you weren’t used to it, so you only nodded and didn’t talk until your bus arrived.

Even if none of you said it, something had changed in the air after that.

When you met in the corridors, first he’d look at you from the distance, debating if he should get closer and talk or not, but then after much thinking (and many days doing the same thing, staring from feet away), he decided that saying hi to his classmate wasn’t anything out of the world.

The first time your eyes met his and he, instead of looking the other way, walked to you, you thought that something wrong was about to happen, sending a nervous shiver and making you grip onto your backpack straps.

‘’Hey, how was class?’’ he asked, just standing next to you while you waited for your water bottle to be filled.

‘’It was okay’’ you said, still not daring to see his face.

The first times were incredibly uncomfortable, but soon you got used to that, it was just talking after all, nothing special, so you let him talk to you about whatever crossed his mind until he was called by someone in his group, and you had started to accept him more, trying to maintain a decent conversation at least, all innocent and he being cordial with one of his many classmates.

In his house, however, he’d corner you and get you all heated until the others arrived, and when they left, he’d finger you until you came over his hand and cried on his neck.

You didn’t say anything when that happened, accepting him just like when he kissed you the first weeks, and like that, another routine had been formed.

From the first time he gave you a pair of his boxers, he washed your dirty pair of panties to give them back to you the next time he saw you, but that next time you’d leave another dirty pair again (more like, he would snatch them from your hands before you could say anything), changing into the clean pair he had washed, so the new routine would consist in you cumming over his fingers, leaving your wet underwear, and he washing it to have it ready for you the next time.

He never told you because you didn’t ask, but every time you left your panties, he would smell your orgasm on them, jerking off with the picture of you opening your legs for him until he came over the fabric, and appreciating the look of your wet spot with his cum over it, he’d wash them carefully by hand.

You still haven’t fucked.

Things were getting too intimate for Seunghan even if you hadn’t had sex, and he loved it, he loved how you left something yours in his house, he loved to be the only one giving you pleasure, and the only one seeing your face when you had an orgasm, but he had started to ask himself, what did that mean?

He wasn’t your boyfriend, you weren’t his girlfriend, and he enjoyed that silent pact at the start, but so much time had passed that it had started to confuse him.

Next week would be the last reunion before the big presentation, and after that, what would make you go to his house? Did he have to ask you out? Could he really let himself be seen with you in public?

In the confidence of his room, he didn’t have to give anyone an explanation, not even you since you never asked for one, but out there he doubted it could stay like that. He could already notice how people looked at him when he talked to you in the corridor like a mere classmate, what would they say if they knew all he did to you in his house?

Seunghan was so lost, he couldn’t understand any of his actions, not his body making him run to you in public, his mouth rambling every time he had you near, or what he was doing there in front of your work at that moment.

You could go on your own without problem, you’ve been doing it for weeks, you knew his address and his house like the palm of your hand, so he couldn’t understand why all his thoughts told him to go and wait for you to finish your shift and then walk you to his house.

He was looking down at his feet, dusting the dust out of the floor as if it was his job.

His spotless sneakers were kicking air by that point, and he didn’t know if to stay or leave, telling himself to just walk in and order something and pretend he was passing by.

‘’Seunghan?’’ you asked before he could even decide.

You had a couple of plastic bags on each hand that seemed heavy, sure you didn’t only took orders and washed dishes, but he didn’t imagine they would also send you to buy stuff.

‘’Oh, hey’’ he said, trying to act nonchalant, ‘’I was just passing by…’’ you hadn’t asked anything and he was already giving you an answer ‘’and I remembered your shift was about to end so…’’

He had talked incredibly fast, and you almost didn’t understand the last part, but you heard shift and end, so, blinking, you nodded to his words.

‘’I see’’ you said, and silence came to surround you again, ‘’well, it’s true my shift was about to finish, I just had to leave this inside, we can go together to your house if you want’’.

Seunghan exhaled, thankful for you to talk.

‘’Okay then’’ he smiled, giving a few awkward steps to you.

You were pretty close to the local, you were in front of it and only had to cross the street, yet he couldn’t see you struggling with the bags, so taking them from your hands, he walked you inside, only giving them back because you had to leave them in the kitchen.

Sitting in one of the booths, he checked his phone to wait for you.

It somehow felt natural, waiting for you to then go back to his house, and he had a knot in his throat forming with that thought.

‘’Seunghan?’’ he lifted his gaze from his mindlessly scrolling to see the same old friend he had told to never call him again after the incident, ‘’what are you doing here?’’ he then said, looking at him weird out by seeing him alone.

‘’Soobin…’’ Seunghan murmured, he hadn’t expected to see him at all.

After that day he stopped contacting Seunghan just like he had asked, and he had totally forgotten about him until that moment, making him nervous because Seunghan didn’t know how to act with him anymore now that he had seen his uncool, angry and exasperated side.

‘’Are you waiting for someone?’’ he asked.

Seunghan left his phone on the table and, not knowing what to say, only nodded.

‘’I see… well, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry, I made you go through an uncomfortable moment that day, sorry.’’

Not believing what he had just heard, Seunghan, lost at words, only nodded again.

‘’I was really an asshole’’ he laughed, making Seunghan laugh too.

‘’It’s okay, I shouldn’t have reacted like that, I’m sorry too’’ Seunghan finally said.

Standing and giving him his hand, both of them laughed and punched each other’s shoulders.

‘’But tell me the truth, you know that girl, right? The waitress who told me to go and fuck myself’’ Soobin said, laughing even more with the memory.

Seunghan didn’t know what to answer, pushing both hands to his pockets, he bit the inside of his cheek and, contrary to all he was thinking, denied.

‘’Not really’’ Seunghan said, looking at his feet and seeing the light reflection of his blue shirt over his white sneakers, without thinking he had worn the same shirt he had used that day.

‘’Uhm, if you say so’’ Soobin said unconvinced, ‘’she said you had classes together though.’’

Surprised, Seunghan stayed silent, and before he could explain himself, a girl had called Soobin, who said a quick goodbye and ran to her without looking back.

Seunghan saw the other smile at the girl and take her hand, proudly taking her bag from her and putting it on his shoulder as if it was his own.

He seemed happy, and not like an asshole anymore, what seemed unbelievable until that day, making him think that, maybe he was the only one who would never change.

He didn’t understand why he had denied knowing you, he was the one who told you to not pretend to not know him in public, and you had been true to your words, while he, even if hadn’t promised the same thing, felt like a liar.

You came out minutes later, and he had never been grateful to the world for not having you close at every moment, but in that moment, he was, because at least you hadn’t heard how pathetic he was, again.

‘’My boss gave you this, says thank you for carrying the bags’’ you showed him a can of beer, ‘’tsk, I was the one who carried them all the way here.’’

You looked incredibly offended, and accepting it, Seunghan looked behind you, where a big man met his eyes and gave him a thumbs up before he could say anything, and suddenly, he was laughing from the bottom of his heart again.

You smiled with him for a second, and walking out of the local, he told himself to stop being such a coward.

Walking in silence, Seunghan had both hands on his jeans pockets, while you had them over your backpack handles.

‘’I can carry your backpack if you want’’ Seunghan offered.

You denied, ‘’It’s okay, I can do it.’’

‘’I should be clearer, what I meant to say was that I want to carry your backpack’’ he said.

The sun was going down and he could see the orange lights of the sunset, tons of lights were starting to appear thanks to the numerous businesses around there, and he wanted to look at them, but his entire attention was on the way a little touch of red started to appear on your cheeks.

‘’Okay’’ you said, passing him your backpack and letting him carry it for you.

‘’It’s still early, we can buy some snacks before going, is there anything you want?’’ he asked, sliding his arms on the handles, and letting it sit on his back.

It was a bit tight, used to be carried only by you, but he wore it like he could.

‘’I’m okay, I just had something’’ you tried to not look at him, looking at the pavement instead.

He let you go a step in front of him, you had shorter legs and he had no problem reaching you, but he let you, you seemed to want that little distance, and that way he could also see more things of you he hadn’t noticed before.

Your hands didn’t have anything else to grab now that he was wearing your backpack and they seemed unnatural on your sides playing with nothing. Now that he noticed, you were always doing something with them, whether it was writing on your keyboard, writing something, or simply scratching any surface that you had near, but right there you had nothing, and he thought that maybe, he should hold your hand to fill that emptiness.

Not a maybe anymore, his hand wanted to interlock with yours, and slowly approaching you, he almost touched the side of your left one.

‘’If you want to buy something we can stop in that convenience store’’ you pointed to the store next to you, open and almost empty, and he woke up from all the ideas that were lurking inside his mind. To hold your hand, wasn’t that a bit too much for someone who wasn’t your boyfriend?

‘’Yeah,’’ he said, walking in and buying the first chips he saw just to buy something.

You were waiting for him outside, checking your phone, and he couldn’t stop seeing the way your eyelashes were really dark, and how you, just like him, bit the inside of your cheek pretty often.

When he moved his eyes from you to the cashier, he talked before he could think, ‘’One box of condoms too, please’’.

The other boy didn’t even flinch, too used to hearing that sentence, and scanned the little code on the machine.

Seunghan shoved the receipt and the little box into his back pocket, brushing the bottom of your backpack in the way, and his heart started to pound while he held the plastic bag in his hand.

‘’Chips with coffee?’’ you asked with a soft smile, and he showed you a wide one back.

‘’I bought coke today’’ he said, walking next to you the rest of the way to his house.

Getting to his house, he opened the door and let you walk in first, watching you take off your shoes and then turn to him, waiting for him to do the same.

When you showed him your hand, he didn’t understand what you wanted, so he gave you the plastic bag with chips.

‘’Seunghan, my backpack’’ you said, making him release an embarrassed little smile before taking it off and giving it to you.

You grabbed it, and going to his kitchen, you left the can of beer your boss had given to him inside his fridge.

Seunghan walked behind you, looking at you move around with such normality, you had been going there for weeks, and that was the last reunion before the presentation next week, so of course you’d be comfortable enough by that point.

Things with the work were going smoothly, different from all the ideas that circled his mind about you. You had made that tedious job bearable, and he wished all his other projects could go as easy as that one.

They would arrive still in a considerable time, and seeing you bend down to inspect his fridge, he gulped, seeing the little outline of your body swimming inside that oversized t-shirt.

‘’You bought Sprite too’’ you affirmed before closing his door, ‘’what’s the occasion?’’

‘’It’s the last meeting, I thought it would be nice to give them something that wasn’t instant coffee’’ he murmured.

You walked to him, looking at his hand organizing the bags over his counter and folding the plastic bag from the convenience store into a drawer. ‘’The last meeting…’’ you murmured too, not believing that so much time had passed, and how probably that would be your last day together like that in his kitchen.

Catching your attention, a piece of paper was showing in his back pocket, and you shouldn’t have done it, you don’t know why you did it, but you grabbed it, it easily slipped from his jeans without making a noise, so he didn’t notice it, and you and your wandering eyes read what was written in the little paper.

Nothing seemed out of normal, the different chips were listed with their price right next to them, but one word caught your attention.

You had never bought it before, but you recognized the name of the brand, it was popular and all the stores had it, so you had seen it in the health section in the supermarket and posters of it in convenience stores.

Not wanting to make it obvious that you knew, you let the paper fall to the floor when he stood up again.

‘’That fell’’ you said, and he, following your eyes, saw the white paper on the floor, picking it up and making it a ball before he tossed it to the trash can there in his kitchen.

You swallowed the saliva accumulating in your throat, and he didn’t say anything, he didn’t know you had read it, so when the air changed and he met your eyes staring at him, he smiled, thinking it was you wanting a kiss from him.

Getting close to you, things were different this time, he was going just for a kiss, there wasn’t much time before the others arrived, but you put your arms around his neck and opened your mouth, wanting a deep one this time.

Sliding his tongue and caressing yours, one of his hands went to your back, feeling the clasp of your bra through your shirt, while the other shamelessly went to the small of your back, drawing lines and circles just to keep his hands busy.

You whimpered and he couldn’t help but push his mouth even more against yours, pressing you to his counter and groaning when he heard another whimper come from you.

‘’The others are going to arrive in any second… I’m sorry’’ he said.

‘’Why are you sorry?’’ you asked.

‘’Because I can’t make you cum, there’s not enough time’’ he sighed before giving you a peck over your lips.

‘’Later then?’’ your voice almost broke and he saw your eyes gleaming, thinking how they were the prettiest pair he had seen, and how they were focused solely on him.

He nodded, ‘’Later.’’

When the others got there, they all focused on giving the presentation the last touches, and once they were done, they all celebrated with the chips and the sodas Seunghan had bought.

‘’I’ve never had a group work as much as this one, I’m thankful to all of you for coming here even with your busy agendas, thank you for everything’’ Seunghan said, making them all smile, and of course, the praises for him didn’t take much to appear.

Everyone left not much later, and being alone, you helped him recollect the cans and then step over them to recycle them.

Finishing the work in silence, you helped him clean, and once nothing else was there to do, Seunghan made you follow him to his room.

You haven’t been there many times, but you remember it, you remember the dark blue walls, and his black furniture, especially the way even his window frame was black too.

It looked like someone had designed it for him, knowing his style, just like his whole house, and you couldn’t help but feel the difference with your place when after spending hours there you had to ride the bust to your little studio apartment.

But Seunghan had never shown any sign of caring about the difference in your situations, he knew you worked in a half bar half chicken restaurant, that you used cheap softener for your clothes, and that you repeated outfits many times, but he had never commented about it.

You couldn’t help but feel kind of special, and just that day, when you saw him waiting for you in front of your workplace, you felt your heart flinch, because not even in your wildest dreams you had thought you would see that scene.

You knew him enough to know he usually overthought things about others and how they saw him, needing to appear perfect all the time, but even with that in mind, just perhaps, things were different with you.

Closing his door while you saw the pictures he had on his desk, you didn’t say a word once he got behind you and one of his hands rested on your abdomen.

You let him kiss you again, receiving him and giving him your full attention, to him, to his fingers, and to the way he wasn’t containing anymore.

He made you walk to his bed with him, and pushing you there, he played with the hem of your t-shirt.

‘’I’ll take it off’’ he said, and when you nodded, he showed you a smile, ‘’I’ll finally see what you have there.’’

‘’Shut up’’ you laughed and lifted your arms, so he took it off.

Showing him your chest, you felt exposed, it was the first time you let him see you like that, he had sneaked a hand before, but he never took off your t-shirts, not even your jeans, touching you inside your underwear and making you cum with his fingers before he gave you your clean pair of panties and let you change yourself while he turned to watch a wall or went to put his shoes on while you changed alone in his room.

His eyes on your chest made you conscious, and he noticed it, but even if he wanted to stop so you felt comfortable, he couldn’t.

‘’They’re pretty’’ he said, and you gave him a half smile, not daring to see his eyes inspecting you.

His hand caressed your cheek, so you looked at him again, and trailing down the valley between your breasts, he smiled when you whimpered at his hands cupping your tits.

Nipping the naked skin that your bra let him see, he felt the softness of that part of your body, looking up to your face to not lose your reactions.

He took off the pretty blue shirt you liked to see him wearing, and that part of him naked, he showed you his tender skin, white, spotless and as pretty as him.

Of course, he’d look perfect without clothes too.

He didn’t unclasp your bra, he pulled it down, which felt uncomfortable, but you couldn’t say anything when his lips went to your nipples and left soft licks over them, making you arch so your chest continued meeting his mouth.

Untouched down there, you were sure your panties were already a mess since he kissed you in his kitchen hours before, and needing him, your hand went to his erection.

You weren’t that bold before, you could press your cunt to it when he asked you to sit on his lap, but you never touched it.

You wanted to touch it so bad, you let him keep attending your chest while you grabbed him over his pants.

‘’I want to touch you’’ you admitted, and he, without the smile you always saw, pushed your hand away.

‘’Not yet’’ he said, moving away and unbuttoning your jeans.

You, again, helped him to take it off you, lifting your hips so you helped him.

With hands sweating, he tosses them to the side and sighs glad that they didn’t slip from his hands. You looked so fucking good under him, nude bra down enough for him to see your tits, and a blue pair of panties that definitely didn’t match, but for him, they looked amazing together, because you were wearing them, and that was enough.

Looking at you, he can’t help but admire all the little places he wants to mark, the side of your neck, your collarbone, your chest, your tummy, and his eyes go all the way down until he sees the inside of your thighs.

Creamy, soft, sweet, they were calling for him, and without saying anything, he went down to taste them.

You let him, you just let him, and adoring the way you wordlessly opened your legs for him, he bit you there, breathing over your underwear the aroma he recognized a bit too well, leaving little pecks until, after pushing your panties to the side, left a single long one over your clit.

Glowing under his bedroom light, he can’t help but give big licks, down and up, recollecting your juices to taste you properly, and like he had been wanting for so long every time he smelled your panties in the confidence of his room.

All those times making you cum with his fingers and containing himself from dropping to his knees and drinking your orgasm to push another one had come to that, and he couldn’t stop now.

Tongue flat against your clit, he made you squirm, but maintaining you on your place with his arms under your thighs and his palms over your tummy, he made you accept him.

‘’Wait- Seunghan’’ you said, propping on your elbows and looking down at him, the sight of his dark eyes meeting yours and his mouth working so eagerly over you making your head spin, and one of your hands, needing to touch him, went to his hair to feel him.

With shaking hips, you met his mouth whenever his chin went upwards, pulsating against half of his face and leaving a mess.

Your pretty pussy lips had a reddish colour, furious with him and his teasing, so to alleviate them a little bit, he inserted two of his fingers in one thrust.

You didn’t need preparation for that, he knew you could take them, so many times cumming over them, your entrance recognized his fingers as an invited guess, so you could only cry when that little place that he always found squelched.

Cursing, you let your head fall, and arching your back, you came with his fingers and his mouth, legs almost closing around his face but being stopped by his big hands.

He left a mark of wetness over the place he touched with the fingers he had pushed on your insides, and you knew you were dripping all over his bed, yet you couldn’t care less.

He pushed down his pants and his underwear, kicking them away from his feet.

‘’Come here’’ he called you, and you, still not back in your senses but always listening to him, sat in the border of his bed as you could.

With drowsy eyes, you gulped when his member stood in front of you. Looking amazing, you didn’t know if dicks could be pretty, but that was the only adjective that came to your head when you saw it.

Pink, veiny, and long, the tip was slightly thicker and darker, and you waited for him to tell you what to do.

His palm wrapped him in front of you with one hand, and with the other, he grasped on your hard nipples begging for more attention, while your pussy was leaving a big spot over his bedsheets with how wet you were after he made you cum once.

‘’First use your hand, okay?’’ he said, and you didn’t need to hear anything else before your hand went to his member, ‘’you seem to like it’’ he snickered.

He didn’t want to tease you, he didn’t mean to, he’s not used to doing that, not even with his exes that could easily form comebacks and throw them at him, but with you, he couldn’t help it, so gorgeous, quiet, and always accepting, his ugly side kept floating out, and he liked your voice telling him to shut up or the almost mute giggles that escaped your chest.

‘’I like it’’ you said, and he licked his dry lips, watching you attentively. The way your wrist did its best to move in and out, and seeing your mouth get closer to his shaft, opening and letting the tip touch your tongue, made him groan.

‘’Take your bra off’’ he ordered, needing to see your tits bouncing with the little force you were using to jerk him off.

He suddenly remembered each time he jerked off to the smell of your panties and the memory of your eyebrows frowning when you came thanks to him, and he smiled, proud of seeing you so eager to attend him too.

His little doll, after all those orgasms, would you say yes to anything he said?

When you toss your bra away without stopping your licks to the tip of his cock, he knows the answer is a yes.

‘’Try to take a bit more’’ he inhaled hastily and, helping you do your job more comfortably, with his hands he pushed the loose strings of hair away from your face.

The first day he didn’t understand why his hand moved on its own to push that hair behind your ear, but now he sees that little dot on your cheek, close to your ear, and he thinks that he did it to see it without any obstacle covering it.

You opened your mouth for him and let him slide deeper, half his cock is inside you, and you looked at him with teary drunk eyes.

He moans at the image, so pretty for him, all for him, he’s the only one who had seen you from that angle, and he hopes it continues being like that.

Your cheeks hollowed and you tried to take more of him, stopping your lungs from taking air in so you could suck him better, and he could see it, he could see you struggling and doing your best for him, so he pressed a thumb on your cheek to show his approbation.

You thought he was getting bored, his usual smile was not there, and his eyes were looking at yours too much, so you stopped to make sure you were not doing all that for nothing, ‘’Sorry, am I bad?’’ you asked with insecurity pouring out of your eyes.

He shook his head, his little genius was all nervous and unconfident, and he felt like he had hit the fucking jackpot seeing such a tranquil and collected girl ask him if she was doing a good job at sucking his cock.

‘’You’re perfect’’ he assured, guiding his cock back to your mouth, to which you answer by letting a bit of spit over his tip, smearing it with your lips kissing him and taking him again.

Where the fuck did you learn that? he asked himself, but with the security of you not doing it from someone who isn’t him, he only sighed and let you continue.

Seconds later he felt himself getting closer, and he can’t let himself cum in your mouth, he needs to do it in your insides, so telling you to stop, you do as your told, watching him in your spot searching his jeans and the box of condoms he had bought in the convenience store on the way to his house.

He opened the package with his mouth, and you remembered all those times you’d heard you shouldn’t do it like that, and echoing inside your mind, you pushed those voices to the back when you pulled down your panties and kicked them under his bed.

‘’This is how you put one on, the next time you’ll do it for me, so watch’’ he said, and you nodded, juices leaking with the idea of doing it for him the next time.

He teaches you how to grab the pointy start with his fingers, and how, with the help of his other hand, you’ll have to slide the latex all over his length, until it ends a finger away from the base of his cock.

You batted your eyelashes without thinking, imagining how the pressure of him opening your insides would feel, and to that your thighs shook with excitement.

He kissed you to take away the last doubts you could have, not knowing that you were yearning for it as much as him.

Helping you lie on his bed with him between your legs, he pushed you more into the mattress so he could kneel over the same bedsheets you’ve been dripping all over.

‘’Tell me if you want to stop, I know it can hurt at first, but I’m confident you’ll take me without problem’’ he said, brushing his tip over your clit and then going lower to put it on your entrance, only pushing his thick tip inside, stretching you enough to make your breath get all messy and your mouth fall open, pushing the air out of your lungs with the sensation of his cock finally fucking you.

‘’Fuck’’ you cried, feeling more of him slide in, and he tried to not show how much he was feeling to not make you nervous, but your gummy walls were so hot he felt like he was melting inside you, and that stole the last sanity he had, biting his lips to not let any embarrassing sound out.

‘’I told you, you could take me’’ he said proudly when his entire dick was inside you, and you cried a needy yes and searched for his eyes to look at how good you were being for him.

Your legs were as wide open as they could, and you pulled him in for a kiss before he rutted into you.

He wanted to be soft, it was your first time, and he knows how important it is for most girls, but you make him so crazy he’s forgotten how he did to not act on his wishes anymore.

His hips clasped with yours at that pace and you cried with each thrust, trying to not be too loud with the hits, however, the curve of his cock was making punching a certain place that feels more intense perfectly, and soon you were gripping onto his bedsheets to get a hold of yourself.

His mouth launched to your neck, chest pressing yours while fucking you, and he started to leave little spots on your neck and collarbone while one of his hands moved from your hip to the wrist of one of your hands, holding it there to feel you closer.

You were practically stuck to him, yet he needed to feel you more, and soon he was pushing your thighs to your chest to watch and confirm how deep inside you he was.

Looking at his cock disappearing inside your plump lips, he frowns because its all so perfect, you under him, taking him after all those weeks, and his thrusts became harder, touching the deepest part of your insides to pull out until the only thing connecting you to him was his fat tip, to then harshly pound into you again.

It’s all so messy he can see you dripping on his bed and how the lube appears dull compared to the glow of your juices on his pelvis.

A moan almost escaped his throat when he saw little tears falling on your cheeks, he knows they’re not from pain, and that’s what pushes him to let his grunts and moans out.

‘’Taking me so good, I’m the only one who can make you like this, right?’’ he asked, but it sounds almost like begging, and you didn’t dare to tease him as he did with you.

‘’You’re the only one’’ you cried while his dick kept punching your insides.

‘’Fuck, I’m going to cum’’ he warned, covering you with his body but not crushing you, his weight doesn’t affect you and you wanted more, so the hand he wasn’t holding moved to his back and scratched him, making him hiss and move his hand to between your bodies, to thumb your clit and push you to cum with him.

Twitching inside you, he came while murmuring a soft my girl, and you tried to ignore those words, thinking that was just something that came to him because of pleasure, and that he would forget later.

He fell over you, this time he felt heavier, but you still didn’t mind, and pressing the tip of your fingers over the scratches you left on his back, you sighed, relaxed to have him there.

‘’Sorry,’’ you said after, when you were on his bed and he was showing you his back, only wearing his boxers and searching for your shirt while you were covering yourself with his bedsheets.

‘’Why?’’ he asked curious of your words.

‘’Your back’’ you answered, and he turned to see the side of his back in his mirror, which indeed, had lines done by your nails.

He smiled and walked to you, sitting beside you and caressing your cheek before he trailed his fingers to your neck, touching the purple spots he has left.

‘’Then I’m sorry too’’ he said, making you smile too.

‘’Maybe we should stop saying sorry’’ you laughed.

‘’Yeah, maybe we should’’ he answered, laughing too.

He didn’t know what else to say, but he didn’t want to be a coward anymore, and he wanted to say something because he wanted to, not because he thought you were the one who wanted to hear him saying it, and if he was being honest with himself, he knew you wouldn’t like him to say what he was about to anyway, because you, just like he does often, think that you know what he’s thinking, so he guessed that you were probably thinking a way to leave his house to not be a bother to him, but he didn’t want that, and he knew you wouldn’t know it unless he said it.

‘’Stay with me’’ he said, it sounded almost like a command, but you knew it was a question.

‘’Okay then’’ you said, accepting to stay with him, sounding nonchalant, like he usually did, but you looked as relieved as him, and he felt glad that he finally took a step further.

[songmingisthighs]

Kitty Baby Princess

group : ateez

pairing : bf!mingi × reader

genre : smut, relationship

wc : 6.4 k

warning : possessive!mingi, unprotected sex (wrap it up to prevent an oopsie), slight voyeurism, panty giving, sniffing, and licking (literally one scene), sleazy-ish san making an appearance, switch!mingi, kinda rough sex ??, freaky shit, nasty language, cumming untouched, slight degradation ? (m receiving) I truly blame @byuntrash101 for turning me into this kind of a person. idk what to tag here anymore this fic is debauchery. lmk if i should add anymore warnings thanxx

a/n : THANK YOU @byuntrash101 FOR GIVING ME THIS IDEA FROM THIS >:D and ofc for letting me run with it <3 i hope you suffer as bad as me thanxx and i admit i kinda went overboard with this? but like... it's mingi ?? and i wanna do the original hc justice

a/n/n : i spent 7.5 hours on this mostly because i procrastinated bc it was 12.30 fucking am and it's 8.06 am rn i hath nawt slept yet. I hope this fic make sense tho, i hate to see this as a fail so pls lmk where i messed up

buy me coffee ?

Mingi was starting to think that inviting you to dinner was a bad idea.

It's not that he doesn't love having you around because God, he wished you'd just move in with him. It's not that you don't fit in with his friends because WooSan has made you an honorary dumbass trio which caused Seonghwa to pop a vein. And it's not because you didn't know how to dress up because you absolutely do. Which was the main reason anyways because Mingi kept eyeing you from the couch like a lion preparing to pounce on his prey but as much as he wanted to fuck you in the middle of the room, he didn't know if you'd be open to that.

So he sat by himself, biting his bottom lip while his eyes devoured your whole being. You, who were not even doing anything but stand near the dining area talking to San and Seonghwa with your short skirt and frilly sleeves. On one side, Mingi would like to do nothing but rip every bit of stupid fabric off of you in one tear because how dare they cover you up from his sight? But on the other side, he wanted to appreciate how pretty and delicate and absolutely ethereal you look in mundane clothing. When Mingi's tongue darted across his lips, he could almost imagine how you would taste and the sounds you would make. He had made you sit on his face so many times that the taste of you will forever be embedded in his tastebuds and mind. Just the thought of eating you out in that stupid, stupid skirt made him clench his jaws tightly.

Mingi might think that he's so slick, but in reality, you've been feeling his gaze on you since the moment you detached yourself from his lap and went over to talk to Seonghwa and San. Mingi is rather straightforward when it comes to you and what he wants (so technically you) and even when he wanted to play his feelings off, you knew him better than that. So the whole time you talked with San and Seonghwa, you have been intentionally striking poses that will allow Mingi to get a flash of your skimpy underwear or poses that will accentuate your figure be it your ass or boobs. Mingi, God bless him, loves you for whatever you had to offer him. When asked by Wooyoung whether he was an ass or boob man, Mingi literally said "I'm a (y/n) man," and you made sure to reward him that night by letting him overstimulate you to the point of crying and cockwarm you through the night and wake you up with a rough pounding. Safe to say that was the first time you said I love you to him (his was the first time you went down on him). Not to be a total attention whore, but you loved knowing that Mingi had his attention completely on you even when you two were not in close proximity. It was as if the two of you owned the world and the others were mere decorations.

When San and Seonghwa excused themselves to go get the delivery food that arrived in the middle of San telling you Wooyoung's latest prank attempt that almost resulted in their fridge almost breaking down, you made your way to your boyfriend whose smoulder melted into an adorable pout. You chuckled at the sight and let your body fell into his opened arms with your knees trapping his left thigh and your thigh that was between Mingi's legs rested so close to his crotch. Upon impact, Mingi immediately wrapped his arms around your body, resting his chin rest on your chest as he looked up at you, "Tell me why we can't bail this dinner and just hole ourselves in my room and fuck?" he whined, hands travelling under your skirt to cup your asscheeks in his big and warm hands. Your eyes widened at the sudden gesture and your head immediately shot to where San and Seonghwa were, making sure they didn't see you in such a position. Looking back at your boyfriend, your hand slapped his shoulder as his hands found their way inside your panties to caress the soft skin of the flesh he liked to spank during sex. "May I remind you that you invited me for DINNER and not sex?" you pointed out, lips threatening to curl into a smile at the feeling of Mingi oh so affectionately stroking your ass. Mingi groaned and buried his face between your chest, "You MAY remind me, doesn't mean I have to like it," he grumbled, suddenly biting on the inside of your clothed breast, forcing a yelp out of you.

Sometimes you wondered how you could be so soft for your giant hunk of a boyfriend. Sure, he's tall, muscular, big, and big, but he's your baby just as much as you are his, or maybe even more. You couldn't help but feel bad at his use of dejected voice and you really were planning on staying the night over anyways. So you decided to give him something to hold on to. Literally.

Looking at where Seonghwa and San were (still making sure that the restaurant got their order because your carnivore of a boyfriend and his roommates are very particular about their food) just in case, you pushed yourself slightly back which confused Mingi. He was about to ask what you were doing when you suddenly turned around so your ass was facing him and bent down. The sight of your panties got Mingi's jaw to drop and when you pull them down to reveal your bare cunt, Mingi's mouth immediately felt dry. With eyes glued to the folds where he usually buried his face, Mingi's tongue automatically slipped between his lips and he leaned forward to get a taste. Much to his disappointment, however, you grabbed your panties and turned around. "What are you doing?" you asked with a raised eyebrow. "What are YOU doing presenting yourself to me like that? Now come on, let me get a taste," he whined, grabbing your hips and flipping your skirt up to expose your bare cunt to his eyes. You let out a yelp of surprise when he got close to actually burying his face between your legs. Extreme measures had to be taken so you reached for his throat and pressed on his jugular enough that he choked slightly, allowing you to push him back against the couch, "You are not about to eat me out in the middle of the living room where your friends could see us, you hear me?" The way you sounded so serious and the pressure you put on his throat managed to make Mingi's head spin a little, loving how you took over. You retracted your hand to allow air back into Mingi's lungs, holding yourself back from mauling him from the way his eyes fluttered. You just know that he was getting so aroused.

While Mingi was distracted, you slipped your panties into his palm and leaned close as you heard Seonghwa and San walking back slowly with food. "Something for you to hold onto until after dinner," you said before giving him a soft peck on his cheek and retreating to help Seonghwa and San with the food. It took Mingi a couple of seconds to realize that you were no longer on top of him and just as he was about to be disappointed, he noticed your frilly panties in his hand and he perked up. His head snapped to look for you, giddiness evident in his eyes. You were taking the food out of the plastic bag when you noticed Mingi grinning widely at you, a sight that made you smile to yourself. That smile fell however when Mingi blatantly dangled your panties in front of his face for him to take a big whiff, making a whole show of fluttering his eyelids and rolling his eyes to the back of his head. Your face reddened immediately and you would've screamed had Seonghwa and San seen what Mingi did which thankfully they didn't because San had his back to Mingi and Seonghwa was in the kitchen.

Trying to be as discreet as you could, you gestured for Mingi to stop doing what he was doing but much to your dismay, the man spread your panties in his large hand and stuck his tongue out. You knew where that was going but when Mingi actually took a fat stripe on the spot that made contact with your pussy, your knees almost buckled and you were sure that your face was burning so hot, smoke should be coming out of your ears. It was a miracle San didn't realize what was happening.

Thankfully, Mingi immediately shoved the panties into his pants when Seonghwa called him out for dinner. Yes, he shoved it INSIDE his pants so that his cock wouldn't miss your cunt so much, or so he told you when he whispered directly into your ears as he pulled your chair like a gentleman. Gentleman my ass. What kind of gentleman shoved his hand inside your skirt as he made conversation with his dormmates? What kind of gentleman trace the slit of your pussy as he asked you how you were? What kind of a gentleman stuck one of his fingers between your folds when he pretended to reach over you to get a side dish? Freaky bastard. Nevertheless, the same bastard that made you clench your thighs as you silently hoped your arousal wouldn't stain the cushioned chair. It was bad enough that he was teasing you, but Seonghwa was sitting across him and San was across you, they could've easily seen what Mingi was doing and based on how you were biting your lips, they could've easily made an assumption on what was going on.

You decided that you might want to get some revenge on Mingi. The more he touched you under the table, the bigger your desire grew for him to have a taste of his own medicine. Your opportunity came when Seonghwa said he had prepared dessert for you after knowing that you would be joining them for dinner. Of course, as a polite guest, you offered to help him which means Mingi's hand had to momentarily part with your cunt. But of course, to tease you, Mingi stuck his slick-covered fingers into his mouth as he made eye contact with you, smirking when your eyes once again widened. This time, San noticed the interaction between you two, however, staring confusedly with an eyebrow raised but not saying anything, not even to point the behaviour out.

As you moved around the kitchen with Seonghwa, you made sure to sway your hips as sensually as you can, knowing that your boyfriend was staring at your ass the whole time. It wasn't like he was being subtle about it anyway, you saw how hard he was biting into his chopsticks, he could've bent them easily. Too focused on teasing your horny boyfriend, you almost forgot where you were and what you were doing and it made you clumsy as seen by how you accidentally dropped the spoon Seonghwa handed over to you before he reached for the plates in the cupboard. "Whoops!" you said, bending down to grab the utensils on the floor as you flash your boyfriend your bare, glistening cunt. The sight was enough to elicit a groan out of Mingi which was caught by San, thinking that his friend was hurting. But when San saw that Mingi was staring at something, he instinctively turned to look at what Mingi was looking at too which was a bad idea because he hadn't planned on seeing one of his best friends's girlfriend's pussy on full display. His eyes widened in shock and he so wanted to tear his eyes off but he couldn't, he couldn't even help but be affected, suddenly very aware of the fabric of his underwear that rubbed against his cock when he started shifting around in his seat.

"(y/n)?" San called out mindlessly, surprising you enough to the point that you immediately stood up and turned around. Mingi's daze was also broken when San called out to you and it didn't have to take a damn genius to deduct the fact that San totally saw your pussy, it was all over his face; the shame, the blush, and if you look closer, the way he started to uncomfortably tug on his pants. The three of you stayed in your positions, frozen, not knowing what to do or say while Seonghwa remained oblivious.

You were damn embarrassed to have been caught in that position, flaunting your princess parts (or so Mingi calls your pussy) to your boyfriend's dormmate. Despite it being an accident, the shame was still very much real. You couldn't even dare yourself to look up, not even when Seonghwa asked about the cake he bought. You managed to play it off as you inspected the cake, making up crap on the spot to justify your not looking him in the eyes as you talked to him. What were you supposed to do? You didn't know what to do if San was looking at you which he so totally was and Mingi witnessed all this. He saw how San was sneaking glances at you as his cheeks were tinted red. What caught Mingi's interest was that the blush and San's mannerisms didn't show shame, it didn't even show that he was sorry for even seeing you in such a state, heck, not even disturbance. It was the shade and mannerisms of a man who was appreciating someone in a sexual manner. Mingi didn't like that, Mingi didn't like that one bit. He had hoped that by putting a hand on your thigh San would stop his stare and obvious intrigue but of course, that did nothing.

"You know hyung, I think this cake is great, it's sweet but it's not so sweet," Mingi stated after having a spoonful of cake. "Oh? I think this cake is on the sweeter side," Seonghwa said, raising an eyebrow and trying another bite. Mingi shrugged as he finished his cake, "I don't think so because nothing is as sweet as my (y/n) here," he made a point of winking at you before staring at San in triumph. But much to his surprise, San didn't bat an eye, he wasn't threatened. Heck, he had a look of intrigue and knowing his friend, Mingi realized his mistake of calling you sweet. He was willing to bet his gaming setup that San was totally thinking about how your pussy must've tasted.

Luckily dinner came to an end rather quickly because Seonghwa had to rush out to deal with a Hongjoong emergency (aka Hongjoong had just started unpacking the last of his boxes after moving into the new dorm MONTHS after). There were four of you left alone in the dorm; you, Mingi, San, and damn awkward silence.

"Well," Mingi coughed as he grabbed his dishes from the table ever so slowly so he could get his brain to create some kind of excuse. San stood up while shaking his head furiously, "No, no, you... You leave the dishes to me, I'll take care of them tonight and you can take over my turn next time," San said, smiling to his friend though the smile didn't reach his eyes. Nor was it his usual smile, it seemed rather restricted. Surprised, Mingi blinked confusedly at San, "Uh... It's okay, I can-" "No, you should spend time with your girlfriend. Think of it as me doing you a favour," San cut him off, shifting his eyes at you who was already looking at him with wide eyes. For a moment, San was reminded of the image of your cunt to which he immediately shake his head to erase the image from his head as if he was an etch-a-sketch. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't quick enough as Mingi caught the look on San's face and he could feel his blood boil, hating the idea of his friend thinking about his baby's princess parts.

Abruptly, Mingi tugged your arm to stand up, "Thank man, I'll be sure to do you a favour next time," he smiled curtly, wanting to leave the dining area immediately to get some damn privacy. San wasn't surprised that Mingi acted as such because the behaviour was very much similar to the time Wooyoung talked about your tits after a trip to the waterpark. San was just hoping that Mingi wouldn't superglue his mouse to his mousepad before an important game.

Figuring that you were in the clear, you moved to follow Mingi, bidding San a good night and telling him that you had a good time out of sheer politeness. Seeing as you were interacting with him again, San stopped you by calling you, making you turn around while your boyfriend waited by the hallway that led to his room. "I-I," San had to clear his throat, acknowledging that what he wanted to say was rather embarrassing. But he swallowed his shyness and just gave you a smile, "I-I'm sorry for what happened earlier, I didn't mean to look at..." He trailed off as he gestured to your body awkwardly. While you were mortified that he brought up the topic again, you were glad that he didn't explicitly said what he did. Thinking that the situation had passed anyway, you smiled back and shook your head, "No worries San, it was an honest mistake," you assured him.

"For what it's worth," Just as you were about to join your boyfriend, San made you halt your steps once again. You tilted your head slightly which made Mingi feel irked because you were paying his friend too much attention for his liking especially considering the fact that the particular friend had seen something he shouldn't and that Mingi was needy. "You had nothing to be ashamed about, you have a very pretty... Kitty..." San said, not realizing that he had glanced lower at your body and even let his tongue dart out slightly to lick his bottom lip before looking at you straight in the eyes again, "Mingi is indeed a very lucky guy just as we all have said. But tonight I got a confirmation."

You couldn't even answer San when Mingi pulled you into his arms and shielded you away from his apparently sleazy-adjacent friend, "Thanks man but she knows I'm so lucky to have her," he said through gritted teeth. Now he's absolutely pissed.

In a flash, you were tossed onto the bed in Mingi's room. Your body bounced slightly and while you were still in a daze of surprise, Mingi crawled on top of you. "How fucking dare you," he growled, diving down to capture your lips in a desperate kiss. You yelped slightly when Mingi shoved his tongue in your mouth out of the blue. Though he looked pissed because his face looked pissed and he's 6 ft tall with the proclivity to wear anything and everything dark, his kiss showed his real emotion. "Does he not think I already know that I'm so lucky you let me love you?" he whimpered into your mouth when your hands grabbed the hair on the back of his head. "Baby, you know how much I appreciate you for letting me love you, right?" he asked as he pulled away. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of his reddened pouty lips and hazy eyes looking at you, seeking for your approval. You lifted your body slightly with one arm as the other went to cup his chin between your thumb and index finger, letting your thumb swipe his puffy bottom lip that was glistening in your mixed spit, "Of course baby. You're my Minnie Minnie Mingi, you're the only man I allow to touch me however you want," you then leaned closer to blow directly to his ear, making him visibly shudder, "You're the only man I allow anywhere near my princess parts," when you bit down to his ear lobe, Mingi's arms buckled slightly and his eyes rolled to the back of his head while his cock strained against his pants.

You pulled back slightly and pouted at him, "And... Didn't you say you wanted to have a taste of me?" you batted your lashes at him. That absolutely wrecked Mingi's resolve because in one swift movement, he had pushed you all the way to his headboard while opening your legs widely. When Mingi was face to face with your glistening, pulsating cunt, he couldn't help but stare at it while biting his bottom lip, momentarily appreciating it in all its glory. While it technically was rather embarrassing to have your pussy be stared at like that, it was a regular occurrence for you and you knew you had nothing to be ashamed or shy about. How can you? Mingi worshipped the ground you walk on and it made you feel like a goddess. "Still so fucking wet for me," he said to himself as he swiped two of his fingers on the mess of the wetness. Due to not wearing panties and rubbing your legs together the whole night, your arousal was spread everywhere. While Mingi was very possessive of you, oftentimes saying how he didn't want to waste a single drop of your princess nectar, the sight of the glistening even glittering mess was a sight to behold to him.

"Fuck baby, how can your pussy look and taste even more delicious than that damn cake?" was the last thing Mingi said before he attached his lips to your cunt, eliciting a gasp from you.

Mingi took his time eating you out, truly devouring you whole and enjoying every single second of it. To say that Mingi was obsessed with your pussy was an understatement. It seemed like he knew your body better than yours because he understood what every tic, squirm, moan, and arch of the back meant. He knew that you loved how he use his tongue to trace shapes on you and rather than simply flick and nibble on your clit, you love how he use his nose to bump into it. You had even joked that you knew that Mingi was perfect for you due to his pointy nose. No matter how much you love him bumping his nose on your clit, it can't beat how much he absolutely go batshit crazy when you use his nose to get off when you sit on his face. Just the thought got him grinding his hips on the bed. Seeing this, you grabbed Mingi's hair and pulled his face back, causing him to whine. "Did you just hump your bed? I thought I was the only thing your cock wants to make contact with?" you huffed, pouting at him though only meaning it half-heartedly. Mingi shook his head slightly to loosen your grip on his hair before he leaned his head on the junction of your thigh, peppering kisses on the outer lip of your pussy. "Sorry, I can't help but imagine fucking this pussy... My baby's pussy... My baby's pretty pretty pussy," he moaned before engulfing your cunt once more. Though his mouth was busy pleasuring you, his eyes never left your face. He loved the way your face contorted into pleasure when his tongue breached your hole to gather your slick and push it up to your clit as a lubricant so his nose could move more seamlessly. The intensity of your reaction was what got him excited but the knowledge that he was the one who was doing those things to you was what got him addicted. The best part for Mingi though was when you grabbed his hair to fuck yourself on his face. Your hips went wild to chase the kind of pleasure only he could give. When you use him like that, Mingi feels like he is nothing but a toy you used to get off and he feels honoured above anything else.

Just as Mingi was enjoying the feeling of your arousal down his chin while his tongue was fucking you, your hips stopped moving. Mingi was too into his headspace that he initially didn't notice your halted movements, in fact, his mouth only moved on its own automatically, lapping your juice as he flicked, nibbled, and nudged on the sensitive nub. "Baby," you whined out loud, forcing Mingi to slip out of his headspace momentarily to reply with a low hum as his tongue was busy gathering every last drop of you. "I don't wanna cum on your tongue tonight, I wanna cum on your fat cock. I wanna cum while I ride you," you whined, bordering on begging.

Hearing that you wanted to ride him, Mingi pulled away from your cunt with a smirk, "Oh? My princess wants to ride me using her... What did San called it? Your kitty?" he chuckled mockingly. You whined and kicked your legs slightly, embarrassed that he used such language at you and especially using his friend's words on you. Slowly, erotically, Mingi climbed over your body whilst slowly pulling your top off and shoving it down your waist, "If I feed the kitty my cock, will it purr?" he asked as he leaned down to suck a mark in the middle of your chest. "Can the kitty even take my cock, baby? Can my baby's kitty princess part take my load when I cum inside?" you looked down to see his lips wrapped around your right nipple, "Remember when we had sex the first time? Remember how your pussy can't take me? I barely hung onto my sanity that time because I wanted to make you mine but I had to be gentle. I don't think I can be gentle this time," he pouted, leaving your nipple to leave a string of his spit that later dripped down your stomach. Wanting his cock inside you immediately, you nodded frantically, "Yes! Yes! My pussy is already perfectly moulded to take you, Mingi, please, I will ride you so good, I want your cum in me," your hands were wrapped around his neck tightly as you tried to ground up to his hips, wanting to feel his cock on you immediately.

Luckily Mingi couldn't say no to you especially when you became that whiny for him. It was endearing, really.

With steady hands, Mingi flipped you both over so you were straddling his hips. You leaned back on your arms to stare at the bulge straining against its confines between Mingi's legs with a twinkle in your eyes. You knew what was under his trousers, you've seen it multiple times but it never gets old; the excitement of seeing it strain and then pop up like jack-in-a-box. Well, in Mingi's case, it's jacking into a cunt. But it works. Whenever you are presented with the opportunity to undress Mingi, it always feels like opening a present because it actually feels like a present. How can it not? It's only for you and you get to play with it Mingi always lets you take your time with him as he gets to experience the joy of seeing you thrilled just from seeing him.

Slowly, you unbuttoned his pants and when you unzipped his pants, pulling them down just past the midsection of his thick thighs without bothering to take them off completely, you were shocked to see your panties still there. "Mingi!" you exclaimed as you pulled the frilly, flimsy garment like a magician because as soon as the panty was pulled, Mingi's cock popped up tall, spurting some precum on your thigh. Scratch that, soiled frilly, flimsy garment. Your eyes were wide in surprise and wonder, fascinated with how much cum there actually was and excited with the thought that the same amount of cum would be inside you momentarily. Perhaps more.

Mingi looked away in embarrassment when you showed him your panties, completely forgetting that it was there in the first place. With his arms crossed on his still-clothed chest, Mingi pouted and mumbled out an explanation. "It was all your fault for giving me your panties and letting me play with your pussy during dinner, and then to make shit worse, you flashed me your entire pussy when you know I want to bury myself in it 24/7. That's why I came," his cheeks were red which showcased his embarrassment even more but you couldn't understand why he would be embarrassed for cumming from his own girlfriend's teasing. So you cooed at him as you reached to cup his face, urging him to face you, "Aww, baby you don't need to be embarrassed for cumming in your pants like that. I find it absolutely adorable and it's a great ego boost to know that you were so affected by me," you said as you peppered kisses down his jaw. Mingi's embarrassment slowly faded when you told him you liked how affected he was by you. "Really?" he asked, looking at you who were now trailing kisses up his toned stomach as you pulled his shirt off. Nodding, you didn't let your lips stop their path up to Mingi's nipples, "Of course, sweetie. How can I not love the thought of my baby so infatuated by me?" you smiled against his skin.

All of a sudden, Mingi pulled you up so your face was right in front of his. Inhaling the scent of you sharply, Mingi let out a shuddered exhale before speaking out, "Well, you need to remember that this baby needs to have his cock impaling your pussy, so please, please, pretty please fuck yourself on me."

Finally, after so many back and forth between you two, you moved to position your opening above Mingi's awaiting cock after giving him a soft peck on his lips. You knew Mingi loved seeing himself fill you up and you can't disappoint him so you leaned back and opened your legs to hug his hips perfectly with his tip pressing on your cunt. The heavy tip already provided a thrilling stimulation that got you biting back a squeal. Without warning, you lowered your hips so that Mingi's cock would enter you slowly. Mingi was watching how his cock filled you up very closely with his jaw hanging open due to the warmth your cunt provided. His hand reached to part your pussy lips apart so he could see better, not realizing that you had thrown your head back from the additional pressure he accidentally gave to your pussy. "F-fuck," you whimpered, thighs trembling as you finally got all of Mingi inside you. Even after having sex with him (or the more often making love sessions), you still needed time to adjust to him first before actually jumping into action. Mingi hated seeing you struggle no matter what came after that, so to help you, he gently stroked your thighs with his large and warm hands, "I'm sorry that I'm too big," he pouted. To some, it might sound like a brag, but it truly wasn't and thankfully you knew that.

Copying his expression, you pushed yourself to wrap your arms around Mingi's neck loosely and gave him a small smile, "Why are you apologizing? I love your big, fat cock that got me drooling just from the thought of it," you gave an experimental movement by pulling your hips up to see how he would feel only to find nothing but pleasure that was accompanied by a slight pressure. "I love how you could fill me up for days with your stupid extra large cock," you lowered yourself again until your hips met again and Mingi moaned loudly as he threw his head back, "F-fuck yes! My cock is stupid! It's so so stupid for filling you up so good." Tilting your head to the side, you brought Mingi's face back to yours again, "But do you know what I love most about you?" Somehow Mingi managed to look both sexy and innocent when he shook his head, wanting to hear your answer so obediently. "I love the feeling of your cum being dumped inside me because that's how you truly make me yours, you left a part of you in me and I love it beyond anything else."

At the first roll of your hips, Mingi grunted and let his head fall on your shoulder, wanting to keep you close. But you had another plan which involved him laying on his back on the bed. So you pushed him down by his chest which earned you a whine from the giant of a man but you immediately pressed a finger on his lips, "I'm in charge now and I want you lying there on your back looking pretty while I use your dumb cock." Mingi would've protested had it not for the way you started fucking yourself on his cock with your knees trapping his hips as an anchor for your movements. Sure, Mingi loved fucking you into his bed or making love to you under his sheet on a rainy morning, but this? You taking control over him while being on top? It makes him feel like a king while still being doted on. "You love riding your lover, don't you?" Mingi teased as he moaned, loving how tight you were gripping him. "I do, baby, I so fucking do!" It didn't come as a surprise that you let out a loud moan. You both were very vocal in bed what with Mingi's tease and begs and the praises you gave your boyfriend.

What you didn't take into account was the fact that the door to Mingi's room was never closed. So it shouldn't come as a surprise when San walked past the room only to halt in his tracks, getting the second surprise of the day. San felt like he should say something, but considering how you reacted to him seeing your pussy, San felt like he had to tread carefully. How? No clue, eyes busy looking, brain malfunctioning.

You were so caught up with bouncing on top of Mingi to take notice of your guest. Your whole sense was filled with Mingi and it was just so addicting. On the other hand, Mingi noticed San as soon as the man walked by, having the advantage of facing the doorway. While Mingi as a boyfriend is the type to get jealous and very possessive if he found anyone eyeing what is his, Mingi as a lover has no problem reminding people who you belong to, what it takes to satisfy you, and who was the only person who could do it. Mingi couldn't help but think that it was the perfect opportunity to send a message to San. So he sat himself straight and pulled your body close to his so your chests were pressing together. The sudden movement made Mingi's cock hit a different spot in you, the spot that had you squealing Mingi's name as the muscles of your thighs constrict,

"Aww poor baby, let me take over for you, love," he said sweetly to your ear as he eyed San carefully. San should've run to his room, put on his headphones and blasted something loud but he couldn't, he couldn't stop looking at how his best friend's body was tangled with his lover so intricately, so intimately.

Mingi simply wrapped an arm around your shoulders as the other was anchored on his side while his feet spread slightly and were planted firmly. The way Mingi began thrusting into you was something you couldn't replicate. His pace was fast but his movement was precise, it was rather animalistic and painfully addicting. Your head lolled to rest on the side of his neck as your arms wrapped tightly around his broad shoulders, moans spilling out of your mouth incoherently. "Tell me baby, who's making you feel this good?" Mingi asked, eyes maintaining contact with San's, "You! You! You, Mingi! You!" you moaned whimpering when he managed to find your g-spot, causing your legs to snap shut which signalled Mingi that that's where he should be hitting. With precision, Mingi started hitting your g-spot continuously without his speed ever faltering. "Louder! I want everyone to know who you belong to! Who your pussy belongs to!" Mingi smirked when he saw San's eyes widen. "You, Song Mingi! You're the only person w-who- Ah! Who ca-can fuck me l-like this! My body, my pussy, belongs to you, my love, I belong to you!" you cried out pathetically, completely oblivious to the fact that San was listening in the whole time.

It didn't take long for either of you to reach your climax what with being sensitive and having to hold off sex since dinner. You were still sensitive from the way Mingi ate you out so when Mingi began thrusting into you at a bruising strength, you found yourself biting down on Mingi's shoulder, ensuring that a mark would be left behind there. The impact from your bite sent Mingi reeling, with his hips halfway into a thrust, his thighs shook as his ass clenched, cumming hard inside you, painting your insides with his seed. "That's it baby, make me yours. Fill me up so I'm filled with nothing but you," you babbled as your hand reached to stroke Mingis's hair. Mingi's thighs were still trembling slightly as he emptied himself inside of you but at least he was seated down and his body was able to relax slightly, leaning his own head on yours as his grip on your waist remained. The moment felt so intimate that San scurried away to hole himself up in his room. Mingi could only imagine that San was jacking off to him and you fucking, San should only be so lucky to have witnessed not only Mingi's treasure (your cunt) but also the way Mingi made his claim on you.

As you both came down from your high, you remained in your position, not wanting to be separated just yet as you find the other very comforting. Mingi was stroking the skin of your lower back with his eyes closed, enjoying the praises you whispered to him whilst peppering kisses on the skin of his shoulder.

He was content then, being in his own space with the love of his life.

Especially after letting someone who crossed a boundary witness Mingi claiming what is his. Not that Mingi would mind teaching him another lesson.

network :

@cultofdionysusnet @sandsofire @kflixnet

taglist :

@kodzukein @phenomenalgirl9 @skzatzloveismonsterous @memorymonster @thesolarplanetarysystem @dreamlesswonder86 @maddiebabyxoxo @imababywolf @do-you-actually-care @marievllr-abg @ilsedingsx @wasteitonserendipity @bbymatz @noonaishere @honeyhwaaa @ateezourstars @yoonjunshi @yoongiigolden @camillelafaye @charreddonuts @kpopnightingale @starryunho @atinct @mirror-juliet @hyuckilstan @jayb17 @kpoplover718 @haatohwa @x-bluee @erinaimeex @blackb3ll @mingiholic @angelicyeo @vampcharxter @meowmeowminnie @marvelous-llama @kawennote09 @hongjoong-lovebot @stopeatread @spooo00oky @jwnghyuns @cutie-wooyo @asjkdk @shinotani @aestheticsluut

[shlonguru]

hey omg I’m not sure if your still taking smut fic/shot requests but I saw your alastor one where he fucked y/n in his booth and broadcasted it and now I need a Vox version if you haven’t already!!! (obviously no rush and I apologize if your not taking requests thank you anyway and I am obsessed with your fics and fanart keep up this absolutely amazing work 🗣️❤️‍🔥)

Hi! Thank you so much for your request I love it 😭 I'm so glad you enjoyed my work 🥹

I'm so sorry for the delay guys school's been rough and I've been sick but I'm back on track and ready to report ! o>

Thank you all for your patience and I hope you like this one! I have more coming up but I wanted to finish this one first.

On another note I’m not sure this series has passed the Bechdel test yet T^T

But without any ado, I present to you :

Alastor x Fem!Reader x Vox 3 - Sealing the deal !

Credit of the gif : @SSerenitytheOtaku on DeviantArt

Summary : Waking up ready for round three but how does one get the attention of two busy men ?

Warning/Tags : 18+, Smut, Oral, cumshot, pussy eating, dirty talk, teasing, brat taming, edging, cum eating, oral creampie, double penetration, hair pulling, piv, anal, brat taming, praise, rough, spanking, threesome, toys.

Word count : 6368 words (Idk what to say) -> Not proof read yet but I'm on it o/

You woke up in a better state on this day. It had been a few days since your last encounter with the two demons. You had been quite exhausted from your activities and had been lounging around Vox's bedroom, resting. You looked around the room and had no idea whether or not he had come to bed to rest or had just continued working until now.

Within minutes of you waking up, a butler walked in with a tray full of what looked like a fancy breakfast. Your stomach informed you verbally that you were hungry, starved even. You wondered how they always had such a perfect timing to bring you breakfast and remembered the cameras you had noticed in the corner of the room, it felt like Vox was monitoring you but there was nothing much you could do about it. You hadn’t even seen Vox since the last time.

After feasting you asked yourself where he might be at.

You turned on the giant TV screen in his room and saw him presenting the news, with a poorly drawn picture of something that looked like Alastor. From how he spoke at your last trio encounter you thought Vox would be all over you all day everyday but reality was, he also happened to be a busy man. That made you question what you were truly expecting out of anything that had to do with him and Alastor, you weren’t the type to beg for attention, but you usually knew how to draw it to yourself if needed. How do you do that when the two men are out of reach?

After a while you felt bored in his bed, you had grown tired of just looking at him on his TV. You were trying to think of a way to get his attention, when you heard a loud bang, making you jump and bringing your attention to the door of the bedroom which had just flung open.

‘Damn, do they ever open this door normally ?’ You thought to yourself.

A little lady walked in alone, not looking away from the phone she was texting on. She was pretty with a very nice and voluminous hairdo. Her fashion was also impeccable. You were staring as she walked in then stopped in front of the bed, still typing without acknowledging your presence. She eventually finished what she had been doing and looked up.

“Oh, so you’re the current hyper fixation?” She cockily announced before staring you down for a few seconds. “Yeah, that checks out.”

“Hi…?” You asked not knowing what her intentions were at this moment. “You are?” You inquired.

“Ah! I’m Velvette sweetheart, one of the Vees?”

“Pleasure to meet you.”

“Yeah! I just wanted to see you for myself you know? Vox can’t seem to shut up about you these days.”

“Really?” You asked poorly hiding your excitement.

“Yeah, why do you ask?” She inquired with a slight grin.

“Well, I haven’t been able to get a hold of him pretty much since I got here.”

“Oh…and that makes you…sad..?” She smirked seeing what was happening. “Sit down with me and let’s have some tea while you spill yours for me thank you.” She pointed at the table not too far and started heading there while texting again.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Damn, I still don’t understand how he bagged such a hottie.” She declared before laughing out loud.

“Well, he has his charms…” You looked aside sipping your tea slowly getting your point across.

“Oh…oh!” You both laughed.

“Still, if I can’t get a hold of him what’s the point of staying in this tower?” You questioned.

“Listen Sweetie, that prick knows you need rest and is keeping himself busy in the meantime but don’t sweat it, you will get him.”

“Yeah…” You sighed.

“You know, we have a gala tonight and I don’t know if he invited you or not but if you’re feeling well rested you should totally come.” She sipped her tea.

“That asshole, he didn’t tell me about any gala!” You exclaimed angrily.

“Oh, it’s a Gala to help post-extermination orphans but it’s pretty much a front to sell more V-tech products. “

“Sounds about right” You responded unimpressed.

“Don’t worry I got you, I’ll make sure you’re dressed for the occasion.” She smirked then winked at you. “You’ll get back at him. #Fuckhim am I right?”

“#InMoreWaysThanOne !” You added.

You smiled back and you both laughed maniacally.

You paused your laugh.

“Will Alastor be there?” You asked.

“Probably not, unless Vox invited him, which I doubt.” She chuckled.

“Aww…” You whined before resuming your maniacal laugh together.

~~~~~~~~~~

For all you know he might have tried to give you space to rest just like he might have just been too busy, but now was not the time to speculate, it was time to shine.

Velvette hadn’t been lying, you looked absolutely stunning. But then again, if you look expensive, you probably look good as hell, and Velvette being a fashion designer, she knew what she was doing.

Your hair was up in an elegant hairdo and the royal blue, diamonds studded dress fitted you like a glove, it had been sewn on you after all. You hadn’t felt this fancy since…well, the first night you had met the both of them. You were excited at the idea of spending a good evening and of course seeing Vox.

You arrived at the party with Velvette. The party was thrown at the rooftop of the Vees Tower and it was as big as you would expect. People were mingling and Velvette quickly disappeared after showing you around.

You headed for the bar and there, you met Charlie. You were surprised to see her there but then remembered the initial reason for the gala and it all made sense.

“Charlie oh my god hi!” You exclaimed excitedly.

“Y/n! Omg how are you? How is it at the Vox Tower?” She asked just as excitedly.

“It’s good! I do miss the hotel though!” You smiled.

“You are welcome to come back whenever you want!” She hugged you.

You both chatted for a bit at the bar until all the lights of the rooftop went black, then a spotlight illuminated, shining on the scene where the musicians had been, now making place for the main host, Vox.

He looked gorgeous, or was it that you had missed seeing him in real life?

He was wearing a nice tuxedo. He looked elegant and very well put together. You could tell it was his public persona but nonetheless, it did something to you.

Vox opened with his speech about how terrible the situation for the orphans of hell was then slowly and cleverly morphed it into a full-on advertisement of V-tech products. You were expecting it but still felt a little impressed.

Vox was staring at the crowd, talking confidently.

“-you can trust that none of this would have happened in the first place if everyone had been equipped with our bullet-proof V-ests and-“ He stopped for an instant while he was scanning the crowd, a dumbfounded look on his face.

You realized after a couple of seconds he had been staring straight at you. Red went to your cheeks as you made the realization he had noticed you for the first time and it had probably taken him by surprise as well. You smiled and blew a kiss at him.

He coughed and adjusted his bowtie before attempting to finish his speech.

“Hmm…where was I…haha…it is HOT in here…yeah, orphans, let’s help them, donate and invest, and most importantly, trust us!” He gave a very obviously fake smile before everyone applauded, visibly impressed by the speech anyways.

People went back to mingling and you could see Vox being swarmed by people asking him business related questions.

Charlie had gone and blended with the guests, and you were still at the bar enjoying your drink and the view when you heard a cough from behind. You turned around and met the eyes of a man you had never seen before. He looked elegant and kind of cocky.

“Hey babe, wanna grab a drink?” He asked.

You hesitantly tried thinking of ways to turn him down when you gave a quick look around and noticed Vox staring at you two, his eyes glowing red and black with anger.

A devilish idea crossed your mind at that instant. Seeing as he had basically abandoned you for days after all, he deserved a little backlash for neglecting you.

“I’d love to have a drink with you!” You smiled.

While drinking your cocktail you laughed exaggeratedly loud at whatever this man was saying and laid your hand on his chest. You weren’t checking on Vox but you had a feeling he was witnessing every minute of it.

After a little bit, you turned slightly, checking the crowd surrounding him but he was nowhere to be found.

You turned back to the man facing you only to notice Vox towering over him.

“Hey, buddy!” He said with an aggressively kind tone. “You might wanna go find yourself busy somewhere else yeah?” He smiled, slightly bent with his arms behind his back and a smile on his face.

The other man didn’t even look behind him and kept looking at you.

“Yeah…I’m already busy but thank-“

Vox grabbed him by the collar violently.

“GET FUCKING LOST.” His eyes radiating again and his voice sounded static-y. Your eyes widened at the sight of him and you felt an familiar urge to have him ravage you.

“Fuck, Mr. Vox I’m so sorry, of course I’m leaving.” Exclaimed the man before leaving running out of this situation.

“Aww no, my distraction.” You whined resting your face on your wrist as your elbow rested on the counter of the bar, witnessing him run for his life. “See you in hell!” You cheered holding your glass up in the direction the man had gone running to.

“Huh-hmm.” Vox fake-coughed.

You turned to him.

“Oh hi there, fancy seeing you here.” You smiled looking at Vox.

“Y/n, are you drunk ?” He asked.

“Nope, just bored, and lonely…” You look up at him with puppy eyes as you said that last part. “How’s your fancy gala?” You asked with a hint of bitterness in your voice.

Vox’s face stared for a second.

You felt something grab your arm and were swiftly pulled in the isolated spot between the bar and the plants behind it. It all happened so fast, next thing you knew Vox’s whole body was close to yours, his hand resting on the wall against which your back laid.

“Is someone mad they weren’t invited to the gala?” He smirked.

Hearing him tease you ticked you off.

“Actually no, my good friend Velvette invited me.” You smiled cockily.

“Of course this is Velvette’s doing…You’re supposed to be resting! If I find this cunt I swear-” He mumbled under his breath, looking away, trying to find her in the crowd.

You grabbed the edge of his face, bringing his gaze back to you.

“Hey there, don’t you think I know how to take care of myself? I’m a big girl you know.” You declared.

His screen glitched.

“You sure are.” He composed himself focusing back on you. “By the way Y/n, you look ravishing tonight…to be honest with you, you look so good I don’t think it’s fair to have you out here for everyone to enjoy.”

“Well, it’s not my fault, I’m more than well-rested and the people I craved the attention of were both nowhere to be found…” You rested your hand on his chest, slowly rubbing it. “Such a shame if you ask me…” You looked up at him knowing damn well the effect it would have on him.

“Oh….Y/n….you shouldn’t do that…” He cautioned you lightly bending over you looking like he was trying to hold himself back.

“Or what…” You slowly moved your leg from the slit of your dress, leading your knee into Vox’s crotch and ever so slowly rubbing against it. “What are you gonna do about it?”

Vox threw his head back, groaning before he slowly brought his face back to yours, levelling his eyes with yours.

“Someone is eager tonight~” He teased. “Missed me?”

“Of course I did, your room might be big but if I’m alone it’s boring.” You snapped back.

“Sorry, I assumed you’d need more time to recuperate from our last session, you had practically passed out from the pleasure remember?” He smiled.

You blushed.

“Well, I guess you overestimated yourself” You replied, snarkily.

“I’m sure.” He grinned.

You slowly wrapped your arms around his neck and planted your lips against his. You gave him a slow, yet passionate kiss which he reciprocated immediately, the gentle kiss quickly turning into a heated one as you both fed off the energy of the other and couldn’t get enough. His hands travelled down your body, feeling all its shapes as your tongues melted together. You then pulled away from the kiss and he took in the sight in front of him, admiring your flushed and visibly eager figure.

He proceeded to kiss down your neck, pulling you closer and earning a soft moan from you.

You hand boldly cupped his now very hard member, making him grunt before looking at you.

“Alright we’re outta here.” He muttered and before you could react you saw him disappear into pure electricity yet somehow lift you up then move faster than you could process (or anyone else for that matter) before landing you both into the terrace that led into his office.

His office had a massive desk off which he threw everything to the floor and sat you on it. He immediately went back to kissing you more aggressively. You pulled out of the kiss panting.

“I thought you had a busy night.” You asked.

“Yeah, well they can all go fuck themselves, I’m busy now.” He pulled you closer, his crotch pressing against yours.

You moaned softly, feeling how sensitive you were.

“Oh, I like that sound.” He murmured. His hands went from your hips to your waist. He took a second to look at your whole figure.

“You look drop-dead gorgeous in this dress…” He almost salivated. He kissed you gently but you didn’t let him as you kissed back more aggressively, he noticed and immediately matched your energy. His hands went to your breasts and cupped them gently, earning another soft moan from you. It quickly changed though as you felt a jolt of electricity tease both of your breasts in a soft yet intense way, transforming your moan into a louder one. He had his way of being rough yet soft at the same time, and all of his movements were smooth, though you could feel him get eager and tense. He pulled away from you.

“Fuck, you’re so hot. I gotta pace myself.” He looked out of sorts and tried to compose himself back into his eloquent persona. “Y/n, may I offer you a deal.” He asked.

“A deal?” You panted and asked suspiciously.

“Well, more like a bet.” He noticed you looked interested and continues. “What if I broadcasted you, to that idiot radio bastard, and if you can hold it in like a good girl and not come until he gets here you get to ask whatever you want.” He smiled viciously.

“Hmm…I mean he did do the same last time so that would only be fair…” You thought. “But what’s in it for you?”

“Well, first of all, I get to tease that asshole and that in itself is a win, but if you fail and come before he joins us, WE get to do whatever we want. How does that sound? Probably pretty good, considering how cocky of a brat you are huh?”

You rolled your eyes before grabbing Vox’s jacket, pulling him closer. “Bring it on TV boy.” You arrogantly declared, smirking.

He chuckled and you noticed immediately after a little red light blinking on top of what looked like a camera in the top corner of the room, indication he was probably broadcasting everything to Alastor. His hand had moved behind your neck and he kissed you deeply as his tongue slid inside your mouth, you kissed him back with fervor as he bend over, laying you down onto the desk. He was still kissing you while his hands travelled down your body, resting on your hips before one of them moved to your crotch, softly rubbing it, making you moan.

“Damn Y/n you’re so fucking wet, I barely need to touch you.” He gloated.

Your eyes closed as you enjoyed the feeling of his dexterous fingers rub your entrance.

“Careful there, at this rate you won’t hold until I touch you raw dear.” He teased.

“I’m good V, just do your thing.” You panted.

You weren’t paying attention but it was an actual struggle for Vox to see you in that state. He eventually moved your panties to the side, exposing your dripping parts. He kneeled in front of you, spreading your lips before digging in, making you practically cry out in pleasure, realizing you were closer to the edge than you thought. Vox was savoring you, licking every nook and cranny of your pussy, his long tongue coming in very handy as he kept sending small jolts of electricity while eating you out, making the whole ordeal much harder to withstand than you thought.

“Fuck…” You moaned. “When is Al coming…” You whined, staring at the camera.

“Not before you sweetheart.” Vox declared before attacking you once again, diverting your attention back to him. He looked like he was greatly enjoying himself.

Moans were pouring out of your mouth as well as Vox’s name and you grabbed the edge of the desk, trying your best to hold it in, but you felt it inexorably get closer, that dreaded yet craved orgasm.

“Vox…I’m think I’m gonna…” You moaned.

“Come? I can tell.” He responded still eating you out yet this time pressing hard on your G-spot with his tongue and simultaneously sending a bigger jolt through his tongue, sending you fully over the edge as you gritted your teeth tightly before exploding into a moaning mess, clenching and arching your back. You finished coming and collapsed on your back.

“That’s what I’m talking about, good job Y/n that’s a hot way to lose.” Declared Vox standing back up.

“Fuck off…” You panted, upset.

You heard hands clapping coming from another corner of the room.

“Beautiful darling…” You heard. You turned your panting face to the corner of the room and noticed a shadow displaying red eyes and a wicked smile. The shadow came out of the corner, turning into none other than Alastor.

“No… you asshole, when did you get here!?” Whined Vox.

“Actually, I got here just on time to witness the absolutely delightful view of Y/n giving in to pleasure.” He replied enthusiastically making gestures before switching to a cold tone. “And don’t ever send me any of your stupid screen technology again I’ll appreciate it.” He tossed on the floor towards Vox what looked like a little drone with a broken screen as well as a broken propeller.

“Aww fuck, well that means we both lost, idiot!” Replied Vox angrily before rolling his eyes. You smiled in victory, still recovering though.

“Nonsense, how can witnessing our sweetheart reach a climax be considered anything other than a victory, plus if I followed your little bet correctly, Y/n still gets to ask whatever she wants.” He walked close to you. “I’m sure she’ll choose wisely.”

Having recovered enough to think more clearly you took a second to think of what you were gonna ask. It clicked and you sat up on the desk as the tall figures stood before you.

“Ok, so I noticed that the both of you are busy men, correct?”

They both nodded.

“However, as busy as you both might be, I do not enjoy being treated like a side piece.”

They both looked at you curiously.

“It is not okay that I basically have to beg for either of you guy’s attention, so what I’m demanding is some more quality time with the both of you, and also that you don’t just toss me around from the get go and leave me some creative freedom during sex.”

Vox looked perplexed. Alastor’s expression looked frozen for a second, he then palmed his face before opening his mouth, turning to Vox.

“Great job, blockhead. I leave her in your care for a few days and she launches a rebellion.”

“Shut it dumbass, this wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t neglected her for two weeks while she was with you.” Vox countered.

“Right…” Alastor looked away annoyingly.

They both looked your way and Alastor spoke.

“Can you give us a minute to discuss the terms of this agreement?” He politely asked.

“Of course.” You smiled. “You have one minute.” Your smile faded.

Alastor looked at you with his usual smile, but you could tell even though he might have been annoyed there was a form of respect shining through his eyes.

“Alright dear.” He turned to Vox. “Come on Static, let’s go.” He started walking towards the corner of the room.

“Hey, who are you calling Static, old fart?” snapped back Vox as he followed.

You rolled your eyes and waited for a minute while they quietly debated. Seeing them being force to associate never got old.

After their minute was up, they walked back to you. You were still sitting at the edge of Vox’s desk.

Vox started speaking.

“Ok Y/n, we're okay with your terms. We’ll spend more quality time with you and not just fuck you when we’re with you.”

“As hard as that would be.” Added Alastor. “Though we need you to define ‘creative freedom’ dear.” He finished.

You thought for a second.

“5 minutes of uninterrupted action from me, to the both of you.” You replied. They both looked at each other and smiled widely.

“Alright then.” He declared in a satisfied tone.

“So, it’s a deal?” They both said at the same time, hold up their hand for a handshake.

You breathed softly then shook both of their hands, a massive glowing light engulfing the room, it shined red, blue, green and more. They both looked more than happy as everything calmed down.

“Perfect.” Exclaimed Alastor. “I’m just going to need you to bend over for me for a moment.”

“Al, we literally just agreed to let me do my thing !” You retorted back.

“Oh I know, don’t worry I won’t interfere I just need to do something first, no need to be suspicious.” He said innocently.

You rolled your eyes before bending over the desk, looking back at Alastor who had just pulled out something from god knows where.

“What’s that?” You examined the red object resting on his palm, it was neither big nor small, it looked soft, cone shaped with a narrow base and what looked like a small handle.

“I’ll show you Darling.” He grinned.

He bent over your body, and you felt him slowly start the insert the object in your ass.

“A butt plug!?” You yelled.

“Are you gonna stay a good girl?” Alastor asked politely. You nodded instinctively, which made you a little mad at yourself. Though you felt caught off guard you felt more curious than anything about this. He finished pushing it all the way in and you felt stuffed in a new way, it didn’t hurt at all and after breathing in you turned back around to face them.

“Great.” You smiled. “Love making deals with you guys.”

They both stared at you.

“Better hurry dear, the clock is ticking, you’ve got 4 minutes and 48 seconds left.” Declared Alastor looking at the clock on the wall in a nonchalant tone as they both harbored a sadistic smile.

You realized the situation you were in. They both stared at you, holding their arms behind their back, waiting patiently.

You quickly dropped to your knees in front of them and swiftly unzipped the fly of their pants. Both of their shaft slid right out of their pants, holding arrogantly in front of you. You looked up for an instant and noticed they were both looking composed yet eagerly awaiting your next move.

You grabbed the both of them by the base as started by licking Alastor’s tip while stroking Vox. You did the same to Vox after tasting Alastor and gradually took more of their member in your mouth. You wrapped your tongue around them and made sure you went all the way to the base.

A quick glance at the clock indicated half of your time had gone already. You then looked up and realized the both of them displayed flushed expressions. Seeing them like that made you feel so aroused you could feel yourself dripping. They were both dead focused on you. You continued and licked Vox’s member from the base to the tip before taking him all the way to the base and down your throat, earning a slight moan from the man, you then pulled out and did the same to Alastor’s cock, hearing him pant as he felt swallowed all the way down. You savored the both of them like lollipops, enjoying yourself so much you failed to pace yourself, resulting in you heavy panting in between each movement and if you were sucking one, you were stroking the other.

Pulling out of Alastor, you stroked the both of them, catching your breath. You resumed a little more aggressively, taking Vox in and sucking firmly on his tip and shaft while wrapping your tongue around him.

“F-Fuck.” You heard him murmur. You looked up at him and noticed how he was visibly struggling to keep it together.

You moved to Alastor, focusing on his tip as well and sucking well with your tongue guiding you. You looked up at him and caught his smile wavering.

The clock now indicated less than a minute left, so you gave it your all. You took them both in your mouth simultaneously, sucking hard and making them both lean closer, closing in on you as they broke their composure and each laid a hand on the edge of the desk behind you, panting heavily. You felt them both get bigger and tensing up. You knew they were close, seeing as they couldn’t stand without assistance. You also knew they were actively trying not to come. But as much as they felt like they were in control most of the time, you knew you got whatever you wanted out of them and decided to remind them just that. You pulled them both out of your mouth, stroking them at a rapid pace and looked up at them, slightly out of breath, with a pleading look on your face.

“Are you not gonna let me have your delicious cum?” You said softly opening your mouth, your tongue lightly sticking out.

These words were enough to make them both lose the little bit of control they were clinging onto, exploding simultaneously and spurting most of their cum in your mouth. You kept stroking them until they finished coming and swallowed all that had landed in your mouth, you even scooped the tiny amount that had landed on your cleavage and licked it eagerly.

You noticed the panting fading away and looked up. It’s like they had both snapped back into reality, Vox looked satisfied yet still eager and Alastor’s expression was a mix of satisfaction and something that looked like frustration.

“Fuck Y/n, you got game!” Vox exclaimed.

You smiled.

“I hope you enjoyed yourself thoroughly my dear.” Voiced Alastor, looking like he had lost a bet, smiling through obvious bitterness.

“Probably not as much as you did.” You shot back, still smiling from the corner of your mouth.

“This is why I hate giving control to brats…” He rolled his eyes. “Maybe it’s time we remind her who’s in charge here?” The radio demon declared smiling devilishly.

“Great idea.” Added Vox.

Before you could move they both grabbed you, lifting you effortlessly back on your feet.  Alastor ripped your dress off you in one movement before pulling you against him, his face dangerously close to yours.

“I think we’ve respected our part of the deal, now it’s your turn, so you’re going to behave and let us ravage you?” He smiled.

You nodded, dropping your bratty act as you craved them both.

He patted your head. “Good girl.”

 He then turned you around and swiftly pushed you over to Vox who caught you before grabbing your chin and giving you a deep kiss that felt like a reward. He then lifted you up, and, while still kissing you he moved towards a large leather couch on the side of the room. He then laid more comfortably on his back while settling you on top of him.

He kissed you deeply and you felt him rip your panties.

You pulled away, panting.

“You guys are gonna have to start buying me new ones.” You teased.

“If I had it my way you wouldn’t ever need any.” He teased.

You decided to move your hips, grinding against him and when he felt it, he grinned widely, feeling how drenched you were.

“If you’re gonna be so greedy and impatient…” He spoke softly.

You hadn’t noticed him positioning himself at your entrance, but you felt him suddenly pushing himself into you, filling you in a way you had missed. You both groaned in satisfaction.

After a moment you were done adjusting and noticed he wasn’t moving. He was just looking at you, smiling, his hands resting on your ass, holding it tightly.

“Aren’t you gonna move?” You asked curiously.

“Not yet Sweetheart.” He replied teasingly and you felt him spread your ass cheeks.

“What an impatient little mix.” You heard whispered right by your ear, taking you by surprise. It was Alastor, settled right behind you. “Well, if you wanna be ravage that much, I guess we’ll have to oblige.” He continued before you felt him suddenly rip the plug out of your ass, making you scream, you were surprised it didn’t hurt but the surprise itself had definitely caught you off guard. "I think you're ready for me darling." He finished.

You then felt what you could only assume to be Alastor’s tip press against your rear end, making you yelp.

“Now, now relax dear…” He whispered softly as he filled you more and you did your best, feeling him stuff you to your limit.

You had never been fuller but oddly enough that uncomfortable feeling faded quickly and was replaced by pleasure as you felt new erogenous zones getting teased.

They both slowly started to thrust and those feelings of pleasure were suddenly multiplied by a hundred. Soon enough, moans were pouring out of your mouth uncontrollably and even more so as they both picked up the pace.

Vox’s hands were resting on your waist and Alastor’s were on your ass, holding it tightly as he moved smoothly.

“I have to admit…” The radio demon declared in his usual composed manner, though you could tell some pants were breaking through his speech. “…She is louder than she looks when her mouth isn’t full.”

“I’m not about to complain.” Added Vox as he tossed your bra aside before cupping your breast and teasing your nipples, making your moans even louder.

Having so many spots teased at the same time was not something you were familiar with and they both felt you tighten as you gave in to pleasure.

“Oh, you’re gonna come already?” Smirked Vox pinching your nipples while thrusting hard.

“Yes…let us hear it.” Continued Alastor.

Before long, you were coming hard, making it almost uncomfortably tight for them both and you heard them groan as you cried out in pleasure.

“Shit…” Vox cursed, his face twisting in overwhelming pleasure, though he looked like he had managed to keep it together.

“Are you as weak as our friend when it comes to pleasure?” Teased Alastor. “You look like you’re struggling~” He added. That made Vox visibly angry.

“Shut the fuck up!” He yelled with a hint of embarrassment. “I’m fine! She just gets really tight when she comes that’s all.”

“That she does.” He acknowledged.

You emerged from your orgasm, thinking clearly again and they picked up their thrusting right where they had left it. The pleasure immediately started to build back up.

“You guys…” You cried out.

“What, are you going to come again?” Taunted Alastor.

“Already? You literally just came!” Laughed Vox obnoxiously.

Your face went bright red. You decided to try your best to not give them this satisfaction.

You grabbed tightly onto Vox’s shirt and did your best to focus and not let the pleasure control you. Alastor immediately noticed.

“Oh my…looks like she’s actually trying to hold it in!” He exclaimed in a sarcastically impressed tone.

“Cute…” Replied Vox enthusiastically. “Useless…but cute.” He smiled wickedly while starting to thrust faster.

Alastor did the same and before long you felt that edge get closer than you were comfortable with.

“Come on now dear…you know it’s rude to make people wait.” The red demon spoke gently into your ear, his voice sending chills up your spine and making you involuntarily moan louder.

“You know you want to.” Added Vox as he teased your breasts with some electricity, playing with your now rock-hard nipples.

Alastor spanked your ass as he kept thrusting.

“And rude people get disciplined.” Added Alastor.

You tightened around them and he spanked you again, this time harder.

Each time pushed you closer towards the climax, and you were now desperately whimpering in pleasure.

“Please…” You pleaded.

“No no sweetheart~, you know what we want.” Responded Alastor before spanking your again, making you yelp.

“Fuck, how tight are you gonna get?” Blurted Vox, seemingly reaching his limit as well.

“God, I’m gonna come…” You cried out.

Vox’s face got closer to yours. “Wrong name Y/n.” He started fucking you harder, aggressively thrusting into you.

Alastor grabbed your hair, pulling your face close to his. “Now darling be sure to keep his name out of this room.” He declared before kissing you aggressively as they both relentlessly pounded into you.

You wanted to apologize but didn’t have time. You grabbed Vox’s shirt tightly with one hand, and Alastor’s hand laying on your waist with the other as you felt yourself lose control and a huge wave washed over you, making you climax somehow even harder, your walls tightening again around them and earning a groan from both men as you felt them release deep inside of you as they kept fucking you, filling you to the brim.

As you cooled down you collapsed fully onto Vox as they both pulled out, cum dripping from both of your holes. They didn’t waste time to clean you up and Vox carried you back to his bedroom after Alastor had covered you with his shirt.

~~~~~~~~~~

You woke up the next morning, not having realized you had passed out once again. You smelled Alastor’s scent and thought he was nearby but quickly realized it was coming from his shirt that you were wearing.

The situation felt familiar, except they weren’t in the bedroom having tea, you were alone. It felt strange because the bed looked messier than it would if only one person had slept in it, plus you weren’t a restless sleeper. You stood, taking a moment to acknowledge how sore everything felt yet again.

“Maybe I did need more rest than I thought.” You spoke to yourself, walking towards the terrace, wrapping yourself into Alastor’s shirt. You opened the curtain and noticed the two recognizable figures sitting at a long table filled with breakfast items. You walked out to join them.

“Well, hello my dear Y/n!” Exclaimed Vox noticing you as you arrived. “Did you get enough rest this time? We can’t keep having you pass out like that each time.” He chuckled, drinking coffee from his mug.

“Indeed, it is problematic, I can’t make a habit of watching you all night in case something happens.” Added Alastor sipping from a tea cup not far from Vox.

You sat at the table.

“You guys stayed with me while I slept?” You inquired as a butler served some orange juice in front of you.

“Well I kinda had to, I mean you were in my bed after all…he stuck around cause he’s a freak.” Said Vox. “What kind of host would I be if I didn’t look out after my guests, but don’t worry, we got some rest as well, you weren’t easy yesterday.” He added.

“Ah yes, I would appreciate if you didn’t make me share a bed with that specimen again in the future thank you.” Declared Alastor nonchalantly as Vox glared at him.

“I literally told you to leave.” Vox shot back.

“And leave her in your care? No thank you we saw what happened after she stayed with you last time, she’s never been this defiant before.” He argued back.

You laughed. “I’m just getting comfortable that’s all.” You expressed casually.

“Oh dear…” Alastor rolled his eyes. “But I have to admit I do like a good challenge.”

“Anyways Y/n,” Interrupted Vox. “We were discussing the deal we made yesterday, about that quality time, will you be rested enough to go out tonight?” He asked politely.

“Sure!” You responded enthusiastically; your mouth stuffed with a croissant.

“Good.” He smiled, before taking a sip.

“Perfect then.” Continued Alastor, sipping as well.

“I have to admit.” You continued. “I’m surprised you both accepted that deal.”

“Well, as irritating as this guy gets, it’ll be worth it if you’re in the picture.” Replied Vox calmly.

“And I’m sure you’ll come to your senses soon enough and ditch this guy so don’t worry your sweet little mind about it.” Added Alastor.

“Fuck you.” Snapped back Vox.

You laughed and continued your breakfast, satisfied with how things ended up turning out.

To be continued...

I love writing those two, I feel like this time I focused more on y/n and her dynamic with them but I'll be sure to write more exchanges between them next time. This whole series started because I was obsessed with 'Stayed Gone' so it makes sense i guess? Anyways I hope you enjoyed and thank you if you've read this far. Shlonguru out! o/

PS : I know Alastor is Aroace and I hope no one takes offense to my work. I genuinely take pleasure in writing smuts and I've been loving his personality that's all.

[manicrouge]

SIN CITY

[𝙺𝚎𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚗 𝚁𝚞𝚜𝚜 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛]

[𝙳𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝙿𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍]: 09/02/24

[𝙰𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝]: Rorke finds the Ghost's and you fear you're never going to see Keegan again.

[𝙲𝚠]: Major character death, violence, gore, graphic injury, hurt/ comfort, reader goes THROUGH IT, idk if there's anything else.

[𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝]: 7k (exactly btw)

[𝙰/𝙽]: This has literally been in my drafts since Decemeber and I wrote way too much of it to not do anything with it so = I hope this is enough to suffice. Also, this is entirely based off of the mission 'Sin City' in call of duty ghosts, so if you haven't seen or played the game and don't want spoilers then please skip this !! (I would be surprised if you've not seen this yet you're in the Keegan tag.)

Also, if people do enjoy this I am down to write a part two so please let me know :3

ENJOY !!

There may be typos, apologies!!

Please don't post my work anywhere else without my permission !!

‘If I ever went missing, would you go and look for me?'

It was silent for a moment, and after five seconds passed, you turned to look at the man lying beside you. As you observed his features, you realised that his eyes were closed and while you doubted someone’s ability to dose off so quickly, you sure as shit didn’t doubt Keegan’s. His hand on your waist gave him away as it tightened on you, pulling you closer to him.

Opening his eyes, he peered at you with a furrowed brow. ‘The fuck kinda question is that, princess?’ He asked, ‘of course I would. Besides, need you with me,’ he said, ‘who else would I have to watch my back? Didn’t spend all that time training you for you to disappear on me, did I?’

Smug bastard.

'You're full of yourself,' you bit back.

'Good reason to be,' he said, brushing a hand through his black hair, moving his fringe away from his eyebrows, 'I'll consider being humble when I lose you, princess. But that hasn't happened and it won't be happening on my watch, not at all,' he reassured, pulling you closer to him.

You slapped his chest, letting out a heavy sigh, resting your head against his chest. In the dead of the night and the silence in your room, you listen to the thud of his beating heart while held up on a tiny bed. You were practically on top of him, legs intertwined. 

There wasn't anywhere to go, however, and he didn't seem to care about you closeness at that moment. Rather, he settled with the heat of your body much better than he would have settled in a bed with more space.

'You think this'll ever be over?' you mumbled, closing your eyes, 'I'd like to sleep in a bigger bed with you; this ones a little cramped. Maybe even watch something on a TV too.’

'You're free to take the floor if you want to, I'm not stopping you,' he grunted, pinching your waist.

'I'm gonna blow your brains out,' you sleepily mumbled, placing your hand over his. His chest twitches as he lets out a short laugh, folding his arm behind your head so he can brush his fingers through your hair. 'I mean it,' you grumbled.'

'Of course you do, princess,' he said, 'of course you do.'

—

Throughout your training as a Ghost, you gained an understanding that things will never ever be as easy as you wish they were. But, it came with the job, you suppose, whether it was spoken or not. 

Feelings as such only ever drift in when you don’t have a distraction, and the absence of Keegan after Elias sent him to Colorado Springs proved to be bruising. 

Admittedly, you had been apprehensive with Elias’ request, although, in private, you digressed as you noted that Elias is your Captain, and you were to never question your captains judgement. Even when it came to someone that you loved. So, you bit your tongue, and for the first time in what felt like a long time, you allowed yourself to relax. 

But, you have some things you needed to do before you got any sleep, or before you thought about anything else other than Rorke and the Federation. 

‘JSOC’s going to want to move fast on this, so load up before you get any shut eye,’ he advises.

You follow behind him, standing beside Logan as he walked with Hesh and Merrick by his side. Fortunately, the brunt of the experience has been dealt with, you had survived Keegan’s absence overnight, and in a matter of hours, he would be back by your side. Inwardly, you’re embarrassed at your clinginess to him, but deep down you know he enjoys it. 

‘We’ve got six hours until Keegan gets back,’ Elias says. 

Upon the mention of his name, Riley brushes his head against your leg, and you look down at the German Shepherd, rolling your eyes. Leaning down slightly, you scratch his head. ‘Shut up,’ you grumble to the pup when he looks up at you, his tongue poking out from the corner of his mouth. When you pull your hand away, he licks it, staring back at you. With a huff, you fold to his attempt of cuteness, moving your hand to the his head again. 

‘Hold up,’ Merrick says abruptly. 

An arm grabs your forearm suddenly, and you let out a startled breath, though when you look in front of you, you realise you’d almost walked right into Hesh. Exhaling, you turn your head to Logan who gives you a short nod. 

‘Somethin’ feel off to you?’ Merrick asks, turning to Elias.

The man immediately turns to his right, observing a laptop left perched on a desk. He says little for a moment, and when you turn your head away from your Captain, you acknowledge Merrick’s watchful eye as he peers down the scope of his gun, observing the sights through the broad windows located to the left of you. 

‘Security’s working,’ says the man to the right of you. 

Merrick slowly backs away, keeping his eyes trained o the window. You feel your throat tighten as you keep your eyes on the man, his paranoia working well to leave a heavy feeling in your chest. Logan lets go of your arm as he glances at his brother, a look that you don’t miss, and Merrick looks at you. You open your mouth to speak, holding the gun in your hands close to your chest, snapping your head to Riley as the dog begins to bark, glaring directly through he window that Merrick had just kept his eyes trained on. 

While he may be a dog, he is surely not an idiot- in fact, you’re quite sure that Riley is much smarter than many of the people you had encountered when you had been a simple rookie, before Elias had taken you under his wing. He could certainly kill more people, that’s for sure. 

It all seems to happen in slow motion, and the night you had spent prior seems to dissipate in one moment. There’s this hissing, you hear it from below, and before you have time to contemplate what exactly it is, a black can is thrown over the balcony, a train of green smoke pouring from out of the top of it.

‘Fuck,’ you curse, ‘get out!’ you yell, watching as another two cans containing the same foul smelling gas are tossed over  the balcony, hitting the ground with a clink.

As you begin to sprint, you find the air around you is similar to the air you breathed whenever you were spending time with Keegan on his smoke break. All oxygen left your lungs as you broke into a sprint, your eyes water, and before you know it, you falling down to the ground, gasping for air as you feel your eyes grow heavy. 

In the midst of the panic and over the thumping of your heart in your chest, you hear Elias call out, ‘Riley, hide!’ before breaking out into a fit of coughs.

You wretch, clawing at the ground in some form of futile attempt to escape, but nothing works as you watch Logan collapse right before you, spewing out violent coughs. Never have you felt so defenceless, so weak as you succumb to the gas, the world around you growing blurry before fading into complete darkness. 

—

‘What are you doing up, kid?’ Keegan asks, seeing you appear beside him.

Letting out a small yawn, your boots crunch against a few stray rocks as you approach him, taking a seat against the rock he was leaning on, looking out at the remnants of No Mans Land. Logan and Hesh had regarded it as their home, as did their father, though, you couldn’t really picture the place without the addition of a crater which grew every day, claiming the lives of old rickety buildings and unsuspecting wildlife.

It was a sorry sight to see for sure, and inwardly, you were happy you never had the misfortune of seeing your own home falling to pieces.

‘You need sleep,’ he said, taking a drag from the cigarette between his lips. 

Your eyebrows raise as you look at him, crossing your arms over yourself. ‘I thought you said you didn’t smoke,’ you say, 'you're a liar.'

You didn’t miss the way he rolled his eyes at your comment, and when he pulls it from his lips, exhaling a cloud of grey smoke, he chuckles. ‘Thought I told you not to hang onto every little thing I tell you, princess,’ he stated, ‘seems like we’re both guilty of doing something we’re not supposed to, hm?’

Placing the cigarette between his lips again, he turns his attention to you, noting that you’d crinkled your nose as the smoke he’d exhaled blew back into your face. ‘You can handle the fuckin’ dust in the battlefield, but the moment you smell a cigarette you fold?’ he mocks, laughing.

Your brow furrows at his comment and you fought of the urge to rip the cigarette out of his mouth. Instead, you allowed him to have his silly little cancer stick knowing that, if you did so something so cruel, he was sure to be upset at you, no matter how close the pair of you were. Cigarettes were difficult to come by and you liked him enough to let him have one in peace. 

—

When the world fades in, you’re moving.

You don’t know how, and for a short second, you’re convinced you’ve died. But, when you take a sharp breath and feel your lungs burning, you’re crudely brought back to life. When you look ahead of you, you witness two soldiers trailing behind you. Keeping your head bowed, you wince at the dizziness wrecking your tired mind, attempting to hold your breath in fear of the due ache in your lungs.

Swallowing, your mouth is dry and you feel the urge to vomit as your head keeps swaying from side to side. Your limbs feel like jelly, fluid. You can hear them talking, although, everything seems miles away from you, and you feel your eyes water as the tightness in your chest grows. If they know you’re here, do they know where Keegan is? The thought sends a chill down your spine, and in your delirious state, you declare that you will kill anyone who even dared to touch even a hair on his head. Even if it meant your death too. 

‘That all you got you piece of shit?!’

It’s Merrick, you recognise his tone from anywhere, it nearly shatters your delirious state entirely, though, the grip on the back of your collar tightens as your pulled away from him.

There’s more shouting and a loud smack, Merrick, you imagine, is on the receiving end of such a hit. A Ghost in true fashion, that’s for sure. As you attempt to lift your head again, you find the world growing dark once more, and, while you feel as though you should fight against it just as you had seen him do, you allow yourself to fall back into the abyss as you feel your lung burning and throat swelling. 

—

There’s a screeching when you come back around, a vile ringing in your ears. ‘Well, I guess if you want something done right, do it yourself.’ 

Your blood runs cold.

As you slowly begins to lift your head, a hand grabs your face, forcing your head up. The light protruding from the window to the left of you is nearly bruising, and when the hand holding your face successfully tilts your head up, your eyes meet with Rorkes. He looks down at you with a wrinkled smirk, his hold tightening on your hair, yanking it harder. You wince at the pressure as he keeps his eyes on you.

‘You’re finally awake,’ he acknowledges, pushing your head down, letting go of your hair. ‘Good.’

He walks away from you, and as you look around, you note that Hesh is sitting directly across from you, Logan is to the right of you, and Elias is to your left.

As you continue to look around, your face pales at the disappearance of Merrick, and while you sit, you recall the faint memory in your banging head of the man being surrounded by Federation soldiers.

He’s smart, you think, you could leave that bastard in a forest with a knife and he’d have his own fuckin’ city in a month. He’s fine. 

‘Nice to have the family back together, isn’t it?’ Rorke asks, looking to Elias. The man shows no fear, looking the devil right in the eyes with a stoic expression on his face. ‘One thing, though,’ he says, ‘we’re just missin’ our quiet friend, aren’t we?’ he says.

Your heart calms at such a statement.

He doesn’t have him, he’s fine, he’s safe.

You expect him to keep his eyes trained on Elias, counting on the fact that he is the Captain, but, he turns his head over his shoulder and looks at you. Heaving a heavy sigh, he turns his back to Elias, placing his hands down on his knees, ‘where’s Keegan?’

Looking him in the eyes, you spite your dry throat as the muscles in your neck contort and you muster up a mouthful of phlegm. He keeps his eyes trained on you, and you lung forward, a spray of mucus and saliva coating his face. ‘Fuck you,’ you heave, ‘I’m not telling you a fuckin’ thing,’ you sharply state.

He looks at you with wide eyes, standing up and wiping his face with the palm of his hand. 

‘Damn bitch has got some fight in her, doesn't she?’ he laughs, turning to Elias, ‘not your daughter by blood, but by attitude… fuck me, Elias, you’ve got yourself a mini me!’ he exclaims. You bite your lip, taking a deep breath as you look at your Captain with bleary eyes. Grabbing the back of the man’s chair, he pulls it to him. Elias’ gaze doesn’t leave his. ‘Where is he?’ he slowly questions. 

There’s a moment of silence.

‘You know I’m not telling you a damn thing,’ he spits, baring his teeth in his direction.

Never have you seen the man so agitated, his bruised face flushed red, his split lip oozing with blood, a thin line of it trailing down his chin. He looks like a savage beast as the sunlight behind him renders his features darker than typical, and the curve of his lips when he addresses Rorke even sends a shiver up your spine.

Of course, a Ghost was loyal to his own until death, and even then, they were buried down to watch over them. Once a Ghost, always a Ghost. Elias proved his worth much more than Rorke ever could, and while you wondered what exactly they had done to break the man who Elias had described as ‘one hell of a Ghost,’ but one thing was for certain. A man who broke was not a Ghost. Never was, and never would be.

’Go fuck yourself,’ Elias hisses.

Rorke laughs, nodding his head, letting go of the back of his chair. It lands with a clatter, and you watch as the man continues to nod to himself.

‘Dangerous fuckin’ game you’re playing,’ he states, and you watch as his right hand moves from the front of him, trailing around to the side where his pistol sat in his holster.

He’s gonna shoot Elias. Your eyes grow wide as you watch the man retrieve his weapon. Your muscles tensing as he holds it out in front of him. It’s aimed right at his chest, overing above his heart. ‘Well, let's see if I can change your mind,’ he exhales. 

BANG.

In a moment, his hand whips around, and when the trigger is pulled, all the air in your lungs exudes like puss from a pimple.

The shot causes your ears to ring. It’s loud, and everything is fuzzy. For a moment, you look up in search of the wound, hoping that the bullet had not went through your Captains skull. Only, when you look in his direction, you see the smoking pistol pointed directly at you. Your eyes grow wide, and you let out a short breath.

You heard the gun go off, the bullet had to be somewhere. And then, you felt a wetness pooling against your thighs. Everything seemed to move slowly when you raised your head up, looking across to Hesh with wide eyes. 

I’m going to die, I’m going to die and Keegan isn’t here with me.

As you manage to get a short breath in, agony hits you like a truck and you lean over without a second thought.

I’m going to die.

All you training, everything, how to stop the bleeding, none of it matters; you’re truly at the disposal of the enemy and there’s nothing you can do. Not even you Captain can do anything. 

‘NO!’ Elias screams, dragging you back into the moment. 

Between the thudding beats of your heart, you hear Hesh screaming out bloody murder, thrashing against the ropes that keep him tied to the chair, ‘Son of a bitch!’ he screams, looking directly at Rorke, ‘I’m going to kill you! You hear me? I’m going to fucking kill you!'

A shaky breath leaves you as your eyes well with tears, and when you look down, you gulp hard at the sight of a wound oozing blood. Your throat tightens as you feel your entire body grow hot.

‘Easy junior,’ Rorke warns with a disapproving tone. You keep your head bowed as his shadow looms over you, ‘I ain’t even started with you yet,’ he chuckles.

Keegan, where’s Keegan- I’m going to die.

Your eyes sting as your trembling hands press against the rope, pulling against them. You need to get out of there otherwise you are going to die. 

Elias calls your name, you hear it, he shouts it, yet, it seems so quiet.

'Look at me!’ he demands, and while everything in you is telling you to keep your eyes trained on the wound, you force your head up, sniffing hard as you look your Captain in the eyes. At the very least, even if Keegan isn’t there with you, you have him.

Elias, you captain, your military father. There have been plenty of jokes made during particularly bleak moments in missions where Hesh and Logan have likened you to their sister. It's an honour, truly, to know that they were your brothers no matter relation, and Elias entertained the idea that you were the daughter he had never had. 

Rorke appears behind him and it’s then that you don’t realise how many seconds are passing. Every single second feels like an hour, and you’re more than aware that every second passing is yet another drop of wasted blood. You’re running on borrowed fucking time, and there’s Rorke, the big fucking man he is, parading around in front of you like he’s a jester. ‘That’s right,’ he chuckles, placing his hand on Elias shoulder, ‘that’s it,’ he sighs, ‘show him how much pain he’s causing you right now.’

‘Keegan will kill you,’ you rasp out, stifling a short whimper as you clench your teeth. ‘And if he doesn’t, then I will.’

You’re more than aware of the situation your in and your pessimism seems to waver with your consciousness as a sudden boost of adrenaline fills you with defiance. If you’re going to die, you might as well run your tongue; the worst thing that can happen in this moment is him simply putting you out of your misery. 

Rorke laughs at your threats, ‘you see,’ he begins, ‘funny think about your old Captain here,’ he stops himself for a moment, shoving Elias as he resumes his position, looking you in the eyes, ‘He lets his men die to save his own ass,’ he states, turning his attention away from you, turning his attention back to the Captain.

Exhaling shakily, you look over to Hesh and Logan who return a look equally as frightened. Never have you seen the pair of them appear so apprehensive, although, you definitely don’t miss the look of anger. No, even though the look isn’t intended for you, you feel a chill run up your spine. 

‘Dammit, Rorke,’ Elias yells, ‘this is between you and me!’

The world seems like its on a merry-go-round, twisting and turning leaving a delightful fuzziness in your head. Adrenaline is pupping through you, and you’re thankful for the emotion, for, if you didn’t have it, you very well would have been out like a light. Your hands continue to pull against the ties of your rope, and while your wrists are burning from the constant pulling and tugging, you breath a short sigh of relief when you feel them loosening. Whoever tied it clearly weren’t trained in the art of kidnapping. 

‘Leave my kids out of it!’ Elias demands.

You feel your heart warm at his sentiment, giving you all the more fight to get out of these damn binds. Works gun is right next to him, you can get it, you can reach for it, and you can blow that fuckers brains out. 

‘You’re talking to a superior Lieutenant,’ Rorke says, pacing back and forward, before finding his way right back to Elias. Looking down at the man, he calmly speaks, ‘show some discipline.’

You feel your face grow warm listening to their exchange. 

‘You were never one of us, you’re not a Ghost,’ Elias cruelly says, turning his face away from Rorke, looking down to the ground. Rorke hums, turning his attention back towards you.

The ties are growing looser, they’re getting there, you can almost get your hand out of them, yet, you maintain poker face as you look up at Rorke. 

‘Well,’ Rorke breathes, ‘that’s just cause I’m better than you!’ he exclaims, keeping his eyes trained on you. You watch as they narrow, it’s a subtle one, one that you had noted during parring matches with rookies.

As Keegan had taught you, when soldiers get lazy, they give themselves away and it’s always in the eyes.

Your eyes dart to his hands, seeing him clench his fists as he snaps his body around, driving his fist into Elias’ face. The man falls to the side with a grunt as Rorke takes a short breath before raising his other fist, ‘I’ve always been better than you!’ he seethes, punching that man again. Elias tilts his head back against the chair, and you watch as both Logan and Hesh begin to fight much harder against their restraints. Either way, someone was getting out and Rorke was going to pay. ‘But you… you call yourself a Ghost?!’ he barks, hating Elias again. 

As he looks down on Elias, you pull a hand free from the ties. Keeping your eyes trained on Rorke, you look down at his gun, gritting your teeth. ‘You’re nothing! You and your kids, you’re dead!’ he declares.

Wrong move.

With his proud declaration, you push yourself up from out of the chair, snatching his pistol from out of the holster on his thigh. Such, unfortunately, doesn’t go unnoticed by Rorke as he whips around, grabbing your arms, forcing the pistol up. You place your hands against his, using all the strength you can muster to pull the gun away from him. 

Nothing moves him, however. 

But he’s a monster, he likes to play with his food.

He’s not using all his strength, he’s taking it easy on you, and you’re still losing. As he does so, he laughs in your ear. ‘Oh,’ he gasps, ‘she’s still got a little life in her,’ he laughs aloud, positioning the gun so your pointing it directly at Elias. ‘Didn’t he ever tell you not to aim guns at people?’ You grunt, driving your foot against his boot, feeling his grip falter for a moment. You attempt to move the gun upwards, your finger pressed against the trigger. Everything burns. Everything hurts. But you’re not going to stop, you’re going to kill this bastard even if it kills you. 

Unfortunately he’s a scummy man, and as punishment for you stomping on his foot, he drives an elbow into your stomach, winding you.

Your hold falters- you almost fall to the floor- but he keeps you up on your feet, and through gritted teeth declares, ‘they could go off!’ His finger jams against your pressed against the trigger, a loud shot ringing in your ears. You watch a Elias throws his head to the side as a bullet drives through his chest. You fight against him harder, shaking your head. ‘That’s is!’ He grunts, ‘just a little more that way,’ he instructs you, forcing your hand further to the right. You actively pull away as the both of you fight against each other. Tears are running down your faces at that moment, every pull and tug driving the bullet in your stomach further and further. 

‘Dammit, Rorke, STOP!’ Hesh begs. 

 ‘Point it… at…’ another shot is fired, and Elias takes it with a grunt, 'your Captain.’

As though taking candy from a baby, he lets go of your hands, plucking it out of your sweaty grasp. Gunpowder invades your nostrils as he lets you go. Rookie mistake, you hear it in your head, but it isn't your voice. It's Keegan's.

You wobble on your feet, staggering backwards as your get your bearings. What you need to do is untie Logan who is right behind you, and then when he's distracted you can get to Hesh. Yet, as you step back and begin to move towards Logan, Rorke whips around to face you again driving the butt of the pistol into your face. It hits you with a crude thwack, a stoke of colour meeting your gaze as you fail to catch yourself, tumbling to the ground.

Logan screams out as you fall to the ground, and you tense as you brace for impact. You land with a thud, a broken cry escaping your lips when you feel the bullet lodge in your stomach dig further in.

The pain leaves you gasping an you clench your teeth as the room spins. Nausea spread through you as you lay there attempting to collect yourself, gulping back the urge to vomit.  Resting your palm against the ground, you begin to attempt to pick yourself up. If you can just make it to Logan, you can make everything right.

Keeping your eyes trained on Elias, you watch as Rorke circles him as a shark did its pray. Both Hesh and Logan are calling you for you, the rattle of their chair thumping causing your ears to ring. Licking your dry lips, you tense when Rorke turns back to you, pointing the pistol in his hand directly at your head.

‘You got fire in you, kid,’ he breathlessly confesses, ‘I like that… risking your life to protect your Captain,’ he chuckles, leaning into Elias, pressing his finger against his chest. ‘You could learn something from her, Elias.’

‘She’s my daughter,’ he croaks. 

‘Yeah,’ Rorke nods, glancing at you, ‘and she’s gonna get to watch you die. Her and your boys.'

Shot after shot is fired, every bang against you to witness as you grab your stomach, pressing down against the wound to keep yourself from losing more blood than necessary. You’re far too dazed to get up and fight against the man who saw the very life of your Captain as some sort of joke. So, you watch, helpless, as Rorke empties a clip into Elias.

‘No! No! Dad!’ Hesh cries. His face is red as he frashes against the ties keeping him from his father, the very sight making your headache. His tone is piercing as he carelessly spits out curses at the man before him. ‘I’ll kill you, you hear me?’ he screams, ‘I’ll kill you, you son of a bitch! I’m going to kill you! Motherfucker!’ 

The worlds a little blurry. 

Your eyelids grow heavy, and when you force the open upon hearing a thud right in front of you, you’re surprised to see Elias’ face meters away from yours. You fight against the urge to drift off. You’re not going to die, you’re getting out of this and you’re seeing Keegan again- you can't die.

‘You did well,’ Elias breathes, looking at you. Your blood runs cold at the sight of blood seeping onto the ground, ‘I’m proud of you, you and my boys,’ he utters, wheezing for a single breath of air. His lips are blue as he stares at you, your eyes welling with tears as you're forced to watch as the man struggles for his last breaths.

Rorke’s boot is planted firmly on top of his head, and you catch your Captain glancing up at the man.

For the very first time, you see fear in his eyes. It's a dastardly look, mixing with the loss of blood in an unappealing manner as his face grows sickeningly pale. Something tells you that Elias Walker is scared of dying.

No Ghost is to be scared of death, that's not who we are.

But, we're scared of losing each other.

Elias Walker is scared of losing his family, of leaving them behind.

Rorke sighs, pushing his boot further down, leaning down to press the muzzle of the pistol against his forehead.

Keegan, please.

‘Oh… you are right, Elias,’ breathes the man, ‘I’m not a Ghost,’ he grins. There's a pause in his words, and you find yourself searching for some form of sickly hope that just in the nick of time, there will be a bullet in Rorke's head rather than Elias'.

Rorke remains tall and as he licks his thin lips and eyes Elias, you find a dismal pit in your stomach that you know you're never going to recover from.

‘I’m the man that hunts them, and sends them back to the other side.’ 

With that, he pulls the trigger. 

You scrunch your eyes shut as you hear the rattle of the man's chest, a wet pray covering your face. Your lips form into a thin line as you choke out a broken sob, and when you bring your lips together again, the metallic taste of your Captains blood. Behind you, you can hear both Logan and Hesh sobbing, the anger the pair of the showed silently dissipated into grief.

The rustle of fabric in front of you unnerves you, and you attempt to turn away from Elias' corpse, letting out a startled breath when a shadow looms over you and you're grabbed.

'Leave her alone,' begs Logan, 'you got what you wanted. Leave her be... please.'

Rorke holds you in his arms like a child would a doll, and to your surprise, he guides you back into the chair you had jumped out from, forcing you back into it.

Standing back from the three of you, he rubs his mouth with his hand, his lips curling into a small grin as he hums to himself. 'Some talent is between you kids,' he says, 'real shame you're fighting the wrong side of this war, really, it is.'

—

Much to your pleasure, you find Merrick alive.

Despite your doubts prior, you knew well the man was capable of surviving. After the execution of Elias, Rorke left you with his soldiers and you, Hesh, Logan and Merrick were all forced onto your knees, kneeling on the balcony where the attack had first initially ensued. You’re unsure as to how much time had passed, but you were sure the wound was not getting any better as every time you shifted, you fell light headed. 

The soldiers that had been observing you receive something on the radio, although, your entire body is hot and your ears are ringing, the memory of Elias’ face stuck in your head as you were forced to witness his death close and personal. You’re quite sure there is residue on of the crime on your face, so, you keep your head bowed, out of the way of both Logan and Hesh who look completely broken. 

‘You alright?’ Logan whispers.

You’re shaking, but you nod your head. 

‘Just Peachy, L, don’t worry about it,’ you utter, keeping your head down. 

A shadow is cast over you and you catch sight of the boots of three soldiers.

‘The boss wants the girl alive,’ says one of them, causing you to snap your head upwards, looking at the three of them.

The one in the middle is pointing at you, marking you out of the crowd while the other two simply observe. 

You feel dirty. 

The man beside him nods his head, grabbing his pistol from his holster, aiming it at Hesh, while the other one approaches Logan, repeating the process.

It’s terribly calculated, killing both of the brothers, clearing the world of Elias once and for all at the same time. You keep your eyes trained on Hesh, eyes occasionally drifting to the window as you sit and wait. Planting the pistol firmly against Hesh’s head, you hear Logan grunt beside you. Hesh moves to the side, his forearms tensing, preparing for the shot. At the very last, they’re showing them mercy. They could have slit their throats, left them to drown in their own blood, yet, they’re making it easy.

One shot to the head. 

Then you see him. 

A small flicker of light in the distance. 

The light at the end of the tunnel.

The glass shatters, the man holding the gun to Hesh’s head stumbling down onto his knees, his hand firmly planted against his chest. It all happens so fast, the man beside him stands dazed, looking at his colleague. Another shot is fired, going right through the mans skull. A spray of brain, blood and skull covers you as the man fulls forward.

‘HESH, LOGAN! NOW!’ Merrick demands, the pair of them jumping to their feet. 

Logan shoves the guard to the ground, pulling him away from you while Hesh and Merrick rush two of two of the soldiers by the balcony. The awestruck soldier is left to you and you watch as he rushes forward, pulling the gun from the corpse of the dead soldier. Fortunately, Hesh manages to grab the rifle from off of the solider standing on the balcony, elbowing him in the stomach. Rushing up to you, he hits the back of the mans guns with the butt of the rifle, causing the man to fall to his knees. You watch with wide eyes as the solider attempts to rush up to him while Hesh fights with the other one. 

Another shot is fired. 

The soldier behind Hesh falls to the ground. 

‘I got you! Go!’ Merrick yells as more shots are fired.

The rest of the soldiers standing behind are dropped. To the right of you, you hear a gunshot as you stand up, watching Logan push himself up from off of the ground, the blood of a Federation soldier soaking into his t-shirt as he steps over the corpse. Grabbing the pistol discarded on the ground, Logan quickly fires a shot through the head of the solider Hesh is fighting with. A bullet whizzes past you, and without a second thought, you snap around, firing two shots directly into a soldier to the right of you. There are more shots from the right of you, and when the final body drops, you exhale. 

‘You okay, Merrick?’ Logan asks as Merrick unties the ropes around his wrists. ‘Rib’s broken, but I can move,’ he reassures, rushing up to Hesh. 

Logan pulls himself free, immediately approaching you, ripping off the edge of his t-shirt. You watched with a furrowed brow as he eyes you. 

‘Need to keep you from bleeding all over the place,’ he states, ‘c’mere,’ he instructs. You step forwards and he hands you the scrap from his t-shirt. Pressing it against the wound, you groan as he wraps the rope around you waist, trying it tightly around your waist. ‘Keegan’ll kill us if you lose a drop more blood… lost enough today too,’ he says, tying it tightly. ‘You still good to fight?’ 

‘Always,’ you say.

Holding his hand out, the pair of you bump fists and for the first time since this morning, you feel the dread swirling in your blood slowly coming to a stop. 

‘We got to get going,’ Merrick sharply states, marching ahead of the free of you. Hesh follows after him. ‘Keegan, we’re up and moving, get here as soon as you can,’ he instructs.

You look at his back in surprise, your own hand falling to your ear piece realising thatchy hadn’t taken them off of you.

‘Check… I’ll meet you in the kitchen,’ confirms the voice you have missed so terribly.

You clear your throat, wincing as you proceed forward, following after Merrick. Part of you wants him to say something to you, to tell you that everything is going to be okay, but you understand that doing such would absolutely be irresponsible, so, you busy yourself listening to Merrick. 

‘We need to make it to the west side of the building,’ he states, ‘it’s the best chance of getting out of here.’ You nod silently, taking a moment to take a breath. Everything was going to be fine, and in the end of this, you were going to have Rorke’s head in your hands. ‘You still good to fight, Eclipse?’ 

‘Always,’ you give a short nod, ‘bleedings calmed,’ you confirm, despite the burning causing you legs to wobble slightly. In due time it will be over, all of this ill be a distant memory. Just push on a little longer, that’s all you have to do. 

‘Shh.. noise behind the door,’ Hesh warns as he approaches it, ‘lets make this quick.’

—

As you push through the room, you exhale when a voice calls, 'I'm almost there,' Keegan confirms as your brow furrows, a particularly step sending a shot of pain through your stomach up your back.

You clamp your mouth shut as you whimper, your dry mouth longing for a drop of water. Eventually, this will be over, you just had to stick to it. He's almost here, you just have to keep pushing on. That's the only thing you can do.

Just keep fighting.

'You better find a place to hide, though, lotta guys headed right to you,' he warns.

You want to complain upon hearing such, why can it never just be easy? Everything has to be difficult, no matter what you're doing, you can never just catch a break.

‘Key,’ you exhale seeing the man standing before you.

His hardened haze softens upon catching sight of you, and you waste no time rushing up to him, throwing your arms around him. While unprofessional, you feel no shame in confessing that you were going to die without him, and if anything, you were deserving of this moment. The hug you share is brief as he grabs your forearms checking you over.

He stops when he sees your stomach. 

Merrick curses and falls to the ground, ‘shit,’ he hisses, attempting to push himself up off of the ground. As you look back to Keegan, the pair of you turn your attention towards the doors behind you, hearing voices edging closer and closer.

Grabbing you, he looks to Hesh and Logan, ‘get him up,’ he demands, gently guiding you into the room behind you. ‘We gotta hide, not gonna be able to take them,’ he states, pulling you to the side. ‘What the fuck happened?’ he whispers as Logan and Hesh quickly help Merrick inside the room.

You feel his hand against your stomach, wincing as he looks at you. The pressure on your stomach falters as he pulls his hand away, observing a wet patch in his gloves.  

‘Got shot talking back to Rorke,’ you confess, and while you’re sure it’s something you certainly should not be proud of, you speak with a glowing tone as you look at him. Besides, he trained you all those years ago, why should you be ashamed?

'Logan thought fast, used the rope he tied us up with to try and stop the bleeding,’ you mumble. His gaze hardens as he looks at you, and you swear you can see his Adams apple bobbing beneath his mask. Gently he pushes you behind him, helping you to the ground. Looking over his shoulder, he reaches his hand behind him, squeezing your knee. 

It’s so quiet, yet you feel as though your heart is going to burst. 

You place your bloody, shaking hand over his and offer him a wavering smile. He takes it in for a moment before snapping back into action. His hand is pulled from your knee and you’re left alone. 

'Turn that radio down,' Merrick hisses as Hesh helps him down

He hums as the doors burst open. Pushing you behind him, you all sit and watch as shadows pass you by.

And then the world begins to still. You're unable to describe just what it is you're feeling, although, despite the weight and severity of everything happening around you, you feel light as a feather. Your clothes are soaked at this point and in spite of your efforts, you find your breathing slowing as you lean against the wall.

Clumsily, you reach your had out to latch onto the floor as you feel an overwhelming drowsiness hit you. You've put in all the work and effort you can muster, yet, you've tried from it and as you wade through the mush of panicked voices and the thudding of your heartbeat in your ears, you succumb to your body's desperation and fully close your eyes, wading into the quiet of the stream.

[cafeinthemoon]

It's a Fire - Chapter IV

Chapter 4

Wordcount 4,3k

Title Difficult Task

Fandom Kimetsu no Yaiba / Demon Slayer

Previous chapters

1 . 2 . 3

Symbols ⭕ ➕ 🖤

Warnings: mentions of grief and loss; parent issues; feelings of abandonment and rejection; issues between employees and employer

Tagging @chiyokoemilia (If you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just leave a comment on this chapter or send an ask or a message)

N. A.: This chapter took days to be finished, not only bc of its length, but mainly bc I was finding it a bit confusing. I wasn't sure of how I should portrait this "advance" in reader and Shinjuro's relationship, neither how much of reader and Senjuro's grief after the scene in the living room: sometimes I thought I just wrote enough, and other times I though it wasn't as emotional as it should be, so that what you're going to read is the best I could come up with.

Soon I'm going to return to work, so Idk how things will be, so I ask you a bit of patience and thank you in advance for supporting me :)

It wasn’t shame what you felt when you looked into your stepson’s eyes, neither it was fear or irritation for being caught in a place where you shouldn’t be: it was the concern that he might have observed your face for long enough to read your emotions with too precision for someone his age. And, in fact, you were tempted to show a passionate reaction, whether to confirm or to deny your feelings, just for the sake of getting that weight off your chest, but you tightened the reigns around your tongue and didn’t do any of this.

This is adults’ problem. He doesn’t need to share this load with us.

Senjuro looked around, as if waiting for someone to show up suddenly and, after making sure it wouldn’t happen, stepped into the room.

– So… you found out about the living room? – he questioned with the usual hesitation – It’s been a while since this place was visited. Except for the maid.

You still felt your eyes burning with the things you were seeing there, but you wouldn’t burst out in tears. You sighed and crossed your arms.

– Yes, I can see that – after an embarrassing silence, you forced a smile while observing the photographs – Now I understand why I had no permission to enter this room. I should’ve obeyed the rules.

– But you’d find out about this sooner or later, I guess – was the boy’s reply – And my father isn’t here, anyway. Not even he uses to come here anymore.

You swallowed.

– If that’s the case, we better leave before he returns to the house.

He agreed and you walked out at that moment, taking care not to mess up anything, thus creating proof of your passage there.

***

You were sitting on a wood bench somewhere in the garden, as you used to do during the breaks between one training session and another or when you decide to eat lunch there, which was that day’s case. It was a safe spot to relax, as well as to talk.

And you had too much to talk.

Still embarrassed, you took the responsibility of starting the conversation.

– I should never enter that room. No matter if I escaped without being caught, it was wrong. But it’s too late for regrets now, I guess.

You said those things with a calm that surprised even yourself. When you first spotted Senjuro in the doorway, you swore you wouldn’t be able to look at him again, and even worse it would be to face your husband once he got back, trying your best to hide what you did from him, but that wasn’t how you felt now. You were rather sad for what you discovered, and for the things such discovery implied.

Senjuro noticed this too, and he said that to you.

– You don’t seem so mad about the photographs, y/n. I thought you’d be offended that my father keeps them in an entire room instead of, like, a drawer.

You gave him a sad smile.

– Why would I be mad by this? I mean, I could imagine him keeping photographs and other memories in drawers like you say, and seeing the whole room full of them was… unexpected. Still, I’m no one to judge – you lowered your tone, as if the next thing you’d share with him was more of a delicate conclusion – Instead, seeing them got me thinking about your situation here.

The boy frowned.

– Situation? What do you mean?

You moved on your spot, as to shake off the discomfort of entering that strange territory.

– Well, I’ve been avoiding intrusions, but this time I can’t help it. Senjuro-san, your family... was beautiful with your mother and your elder brother there. I’ve felt that as soon as I’ve put my eyes on those photographs. Your father… – you felt your cheeks getting hot with what you were about to say, but you ignored the sensation – He’s a completely different person by their side, and yours. He looks really happy there. I could never imagine him like that, you know? I guess this is what surprised me most – you bit your lip – Because, when I found out I’d have to live with you, I had no idea of what I’d see here, and after the things I’ve experienced, seeing our life together as something positive was impossible. But, then, I’ve saw your family as it once was… And understood that the issue is deeper than it first looked. The loss you’ve both endured… that’s too much…

A leaf fell from the tree behind your bench. Senjuro held it on his right hand.

– I understand what you’re trying to say. I was too little when my mother passed away, so I barely remember her except through the photographs and the things my father and my brother told me. I only remember what happened to my father when he lost her. My brother would speak more about this if he was here because he felt that too, even more after he became a Hashira – the leaf twirled between his fingers while he spoke – Slowly, that enthusiastic, gentle man who raised us turned into a bitter stranger. He started to drink. He spent most of his time in his room, and when he left it, he barely looked at us. Everything he held dear lost its value to him. It was strange, like watching someone you love dying in front of you, while another person takes their place. It was like losing him soon after losing my mother…

Senjuro’s voice cracked a bit in those last words. When you raised your eyes to him, you noticed him sobbing. You didn’t think twice: approaching the boy, you just passed your arms around him, as to assure his right to cry. You looked around, at the weather, and realized the blur in your sight: you were crying yourself too.

You did your best to put yourself together, and waited until your stepson was able to do the same.

– When my mother died, my father changed too – you adjusted yourself in your spot – He never had a problem with drinking or anything like this, but he wasn’t the same man who raised me. He started to isolate himself and making senseless decisions concerning our house, our business and everything else. Half of our staff left us, and even the people of our village noticed we were having problems. Our situation became worse when the stories about Oni started spreading among the common folk, and my father, not knowing how to deal with the financial problems and too proud to seek for help, was about to go insane – you swallowed – I’ve tried to help him, I’ve tried to reason with him, but he wouldn’t let me. He thought it was easier to send me away and stay there, rotting inside that house while demons devastated our lands at night – you felt your lower lip starting to tremble and continued to speak, to avoid a stronger reaction – He abandoned himself, abandoned our people…

At that point you gave up and fell silent, but Senjuro finished the thought for you.

– ...And abandoned you – he glanced at you – No wonder you burned his letter without opening it.

Your heart ached with the memory, but it wasn’t remorse what you felt.

– This is something I don’t regret. As much as I don’t regret defending you from Rengoku-sama. I mean, now I can see that life showed no mercy on him, but treating you like that was terrible and unfair, and the same can be said about my father. Their suffering makes us comprehend them, but it doesn’t excuse their mistakes.

– And what do you think we must do, y/n?

You opened your mouth, but closed it again to think of a sensible response.

It’s strange to tell someone what to do. Is this what’s expected from parents? What a duty to fulfill...

– In your father’s case, I believe we can stay as we are – you spoke slowly – Since we know he’s been enduring so much, we won’t do anything to increase his load. At the same time, we can’t let him cross boundaries and treat us as he wants.

Senjuro seemed to approve the idea, but he still had concerns.

– It makes sense. I’ve been doing this since I can remember, but I still feel guilty. When I see my father in that state, I think I should be doing something for him – he sighed – Sometimes, I think this is what he expects from me, and that’s why he acts so harshly.

That was your time to be concerned. You’ve already noticed that, due to his easygoing nature, Senjuro had a tendency of taking heavy burdens to himself, but you wouldn’t sit and watch him giving in to this inclination and becoming an adult before his natural time just because the real adult was unable to act like one.

– But you already do what you can for him, Senjuro-san. You’re a good and respectful son. You keep your things organized and clean, and don’t mind doing hard work. It doesn’t matter if your father says that out loud or keeps it to himself, I’m sure he knows that.

– Do you think so? – his doubt was genuine; it was clear that he never tried to see things from such perspective.

– Yes – you replied with all the possible firmness – You can continue to act with kindness, but it’s not your duty to fix him. Honestly, even I don’t know if there’s something I can do for Rengoku-sama besides staying out of his way. Yet being too hard on ourselves because of this won’t help us at all.

Senjuro thought of that for a moment.

– It also means that you don’t know what you have to do to help your father?

You moved your head slowly in agreement.

– Yes. It does.

– But don’t you think you can find a way if you talk to him?

You looked away. You clearly weren’t expecting that. Still, you didn’t avoid the question.

– I don’t know. I really don’t know.

***

You could say you’ve worked hard to act according to your own words in the days that followed that conversation. You created a routine that included waking up early and taking time to organize your surroundings just like you used to do in your father’s house, then leaving to the kitchen to prepare breakfast (that was a task that Senjuro took to himself since the cook decided to quit, so having you there to take care of this spared him time and avoided more of his father’s scolding for minor mistakes and waste of ingredients); after that, you would leave with your stepson to your usual training session, and then you took separate ways in your daily activities: while he stood with tasks outside the house, you took the responsibility of cleaning and organizing the interior, thus giving the servants the chance of going back home while the sun was still high in the sky instead of being forced to spend the night there, away from their families; finally, while Senjuro returned to his room to study, you would go to your own to bathe and relax.

It was simple, and it worked for everyone… or so you told yourself every time you remembered that your husband wasn’t included in this perfect scheme. Thing was that, since the incident with the wood sword, he actively avoided you in the rooms and corridors, which didn’t make much to shake your moods – instead, you were relieved with this distance; however, after the day you found the photographs, you were the one mimicking such behavior, and your almost non existent relationship just turned into a sequence of unexpected, embarrassing encounters where opening your mouth to say “good morning” was harder than passing by each other and running away.

There was one day when, to answer the plead of a maid, you had to swallow this embarrassment and replace it with courage: while you were cleaning a room not so far from yours, she confided to you that her payment has been delayed, as well as the other servants’.

– I have some debts I need to pay, and I’ve been trying to gain some time with my creditors, but they’re getting impatient – she explained – In normal circumstances, I would’ve paid everything already, but now I’m really desperate, y/n-sama.

You frowned.

– I see. But how did everything turn out this way?

The girl approached you, as to reveal some shameful secret.

– I know it’s none of my concern, but I’ve seen things in this house, and the other servants, who have been here for longer than me, told me what they’ve saw – she whispered – Since the previous lady’s decease, problems concerning the house’s workers became common. The previous accountant left his position and no one was hired in his place, so the financial responsibility was on the young Senjuro. Of course, he’s an honest boy and did what he could to help, but he’s not a professional, and sometimes mistakes were made. The people who still work here haven’t left yet in consideration for him, and because they really need the jobs. It’s Takumi-san’s case. Last time he tried to reason with Rengoku-sama, he became furious and gave him two choices: to go back to work or to leave and never return – she shrugged – He decided to stay, but only if a solution appears. He’s one of our best workers. If he leaves, things will become even worse for us.

You had to stop for a moment to process the things you’ve just heard. You immediately remembered that young man who had a bottle of sake thrown at him in the corridor.

So, that was the cause of Shinjuro’s outburst. Unbelievable.

The situation at the Rengoku’s house was even worse than your father’s: the servants just gave up on their work and left, except for the few in desperate circumstances, and the whole responsibility over the finances has been tossed at a kid? That time, you couldn’t just ignore it.

– Listen, I… I’m really surprised with this situation, as much as I may seem – you told her, not hiding the shame even though it wasn’t your fault – Senjuro-san never told me anything about this, otherwise I would’ve already done something. I’m... really sorry for this. But now that I’m informed, what can I do to help you?

The maid hesitated. She knew the difficult of what she was going to ask.

– Please, y/n-sama, talk to Rengoku-sama in our name – she bowed her head – We know he has a… complex temper, but he seems to respect you. Maybe there’s a chance of him to listen to you.

Well, if the financial issues were surprising to you, the reasons behind the maid’s request were shocking. The servants thought Shinjuro respected you? That man who barely looked at your direction? What a situation you’ve gotten into… But you couldn’t make it even worse by bringing the maid’s – and the whole staff’s – expectations down by telling her that you were too insecure to speak to your husband about a domestic problem, so you did what in other circumstances you’d never consider possible.

– Don’t worry – you swallowed – I will speak to him as soon as possible.

After an effusive “Thank you”, she left to tell the others about your resolution.

The glow of relief and gratitude in the girl’s eyes soothed part of your anxiety, but solely because you knew you were doing the right thing – it had nothing to do with your task being easy. Truth was that you didn’t even know where you should start: should you look for Shinjuro in his room or to wait until you’d meet him in another part of the house? Was it better to bring the subject right in the beginning of the conversation, or should you warm up until the appropriate moment? And, of course, how was he going to react? That is, you saw what he did to the young man; there was nothing to assure you that he wouldn’t try anything like that toward you.

You finished your work and went out to deliberate. You walked around the house, in and out of the garden, trying to come up with a reasonable solution, but nothing occurred to you. That time you also weren’t going to talk to your stepson: Senjuro would be informed about the situation only after everything was solved, and the same would be in the case of the servants, to avoid a commotion.

I’m really alone in this.

As it used to happen when you were lost in your thoughts, you didn’t realize where your wanderings were taking you to until you stopped and looked around… and recognized the front of Shinjuro’s porch. You froze in your spot, less because of this than because you almost bumped into him on the way.

You startled and covered your mouth to avoid a scream. You stepped back and stood there, staring at the man, who was also surprised to meet you so suddenly in a part of the building you weren’t often seen. But, just like it happened to you now, he seemed to anxious to inquire you.

Somehow you were the first to speak.

– Rengoku-sama… I…

You moved your lips, but no words were found to continue the sentence. Your eyes lowered to his hands, and it was with a sort of relief that you noticed the absence of a bottle. Did the sake finish and he was going to get more, or did he see you approaching and got rid of it before you saw it? You couldn’t tell, but at that moment you recalled your previous encounters with him and realized that, since the conflict at the garden, in each of them, he wasn’t drinking, yet sake was still being bought judging by the bottles you always saw piling up in the kitchen.

Is he avoiding to drink in my presence?

– You wanted to speak to me, y/n? – his voice brought you back to reality; your relief grew when you noticed the composed tone in it.

– Yes. Yes, I… – you hid your hands behind your back – There’s an issue I need to discuss with you.

Shinjuro showed no signs of being bothered by the word issue, unlike you were expecting. Instead, he seemed intrigued: you’ve been doing your things all by yourself since you were brought to his house, and now you wanted to talk to him about something? That was new.

– And what is it?

You breathed deep.

The time is now. What do I have to do?

You glanced behind him and saw his room’s door was open. That gave you an idea.

– Would you mind talking somewhere else? – you shrugged – A private place, maybe?

He didn’t make objections to this, indicating his room and inviting you to follow him.

***

As he sat with his legs crossed, you knelt in front of him, having the door, left open, at your right. Your hands were over your lap, as you waited to see what he was going to do.

By all means, Shinjuro was a practical man, so that fortunately he didn’t let this waiting to extend.

– So, what is it that you need to discuss with me? – he inquired – I suppose it must be too important, for you to seek for me so suddenly.

– In fact – you confirmed; and, taking a deep breath, – But it’s nothing related to myself, actually. It’s about the people who work in here.

You noticed a slight twist on his lips when he heard that, but you gave no time for him to react.

– I was told that the servants are facing struggles with the decreasing in the personnel, and that my stepson was left to take care of the matters despite this – you moved on your spot; your feet, folded under your legs, started causing you discomfort, but you ignored it – I won’t discuss this arrangement, but there are problems that need attention right now and, because I am your wife, I was asked to seek for a solution alongside you.

Unlike you imagined, Shinjuro listened to all of this in silence, and after you finished he kept quiet. No physical or verbal outbursts followed, but if he was measuring what he just heard or trying to control his irritation, you couldn’t tell, and that was worse: with the usual anger and bad moods you could deal with, whether by running away or facing him, but with the absence of them you didn’t know what to expect. You clenched your hands against each other.

Come on, say something. Even if it’s just to call me an intruder. Just odn’t let me without a response.

And, then, Shinjuro gave you a response… and though you didn’t know what you were waiting for, it was different from anything you could’ve expected.

– The servants’ payments are delayed. I know that – he started; no impatience was sensed in his tone, just a sort of boredom – Our accountant left, and no one was able to properly replace him. Senjuro found out about this and asked to do something, and I had no choice. He’s better with paper and ink than with a sword. Besides, having responsibilities would be good for him to grow up.

You made an inhuman effort not to gasp at his justifications. Did he really think leaving that work for a kid was a good idea? But you reminded yourself that you weren’t there to argue, but to fix the problem, so you let him continue.

– Of course, I knew it wouldn’t work forever, and if you came to talk about this, it’s because it needs to change – he sighed – But let me tell you that the payments aren’t delayed for no reason. Things have been difficult for us, and hiring someone to manage finances won’t be cheap. It’s something we can’t deal with it right now. So, what do you suggest? Should I hire a new accountant anyway?

You opened your mouth, then closed it again. You understood that, if Shinjuro wasn’t even trying to hide those problems, they must have become really serious. You also knew that the services of accountants and administrators weren’t cheap, but that wasn’t a good reason to let everything to Senjuro.

I can’t believe I’m going to propose this…

Your husband asked a suggestion, and you ended up offering the only one you could think of.

– Let this task with me, Rengoku-sama – you bowed, leaning your hands on the floor but not touching it with your forehead – I used to do this sort of work while in my father’s house in the times we were on a budget and unable to hire someone for it. I didn’t continue to work on this when the crisis with the Oni started because I was sent here.

He thought of this for a moment… And the response he gave you brought out some unpleasantness, both in his words and the subject.

– Leaving the money in your hands to manage? Y/n, I do believe your father let you work on this, but I can’t help finding it strange that, exactly when your lands were facing the worst crisis in a long time, he decided to send you away instead of keeping you there to take care of everything.

Still with your head bowed, you bit your lip.

Are you calling me an incompetent or what?

Shinjuro was aware of the delicate state in which your relationship with father was, so bringing it to the table right now had no intention but to test you: would you have the necessary stability to take such responsibility? As if he had any right to speak of stability… Well, in spite of that, he was the head of that house, thus having the final word in this matter, so if he decided to decline your offer, he would do it without thinking twice, and then your attempt to help the workers – as well as their trust in you – would drift away.

Alright, start whining and all this conversation will end up useless. I’ll swallow my inflamed ego, then.

You raised your head, ignored the provocation and sent it back to your husband.

– I agree. It’s really strange when you put it that way, Rengoku-sama… – your hands relaxed on your lap – As much as it’s strange that, despite the similar issues in you house which you’ve just addressed, you accepted me as an extra mouth to feed under your roof.

Not so strange when we remember the existence of my dowry, I mean.

If Shinjuro guessed this very thought or if he was not in the mood to continue that discussion, you’d never know, but that was precisely what he did: gave up on arguing and just left it up to you.

He stood up and walked to the porch, indicating that the conversation was over.

– Do as you wish, then. The old accountant’s office is on the other side of the house. It’s easier to access it if you walk around the porch. Senjuro knows exactly where it is. Ask him for help if you need it.

You stared at him for a moment. So everything was solved so easily? Or was it just you who were exaggerating the difficult of your task? It was impossible to know, and you wouldn’t stay there to find out: you just accepted the results and stood up, heading to the exit.

You passed by your husband and bowed again.

– Thank you for accepting my proposal, Rengoku-sama. I’ll do my best.

The only response you had from him was a nod, and you left to find the said office thinking of how strange was that man you married, how tricky it has been for you to understand him and what sort of things were waiting for you in that corner of the house.

[moethewriter]

Idk if you're comfortable doing these but maybe reader is on their month and needs comfort from finnick. Had mine last week the cramps, nausea and back pain was crazy fr lol. Or maybe just a comfort reading been a rough week

Please and thank you have a lovely day 🫶🏾

Of course I can write that anon! Periods are the worst. TITLE: Chamomile Delights WORD COUNT: 1.1k WARNINGS: Period content, fluff TAGS: Can be read as gn!reader (women aren't the only ones who get periods y'all!) A/N: Loved writing this one! Periods are ass, and as a non-binary person who gets them, we all need a little comfort! Hope you all enjoy this! I'm still not feeling 100%, this flu is lingering my friends, but writing has been taking my mind off of that! Love yall! Also not beta read as per usual, sorry for any spelling mistakes! Haha! -

It had come early, and to say you weren’t happy was an understatement. You wanted to die, truly lay down and allow yourself to become one with the earth because anything would be better than this shit. You didn’t remember the last time you felt this horrible during your cycle, usually you could manage but today was just … awful. Everything made you want to cry, or you when something inconvenienced you, you wanted to chuck it against the wall and watch it smash. You were nauseated at the smell of anything Mags brought you to eat, and to top it all of you just felt so fucking miserable.

Finnick had been gone for a few days, off in The Capitol, when your period had started, usually he would be there to provide any sort of comfort you needed but right now you were alone. You couldn’t blame him, Snow had summoned him and many other Victors for a week of galas and to introduce the new Victors. You feigned illness, which in some ways was true, but you were upset he couldn’t stay with you. Had you known it would start, you probably would have gone because at least then you would have your built in space heater.

You wanted to have him near you, as childish as it sounded. He always made you feel better and doted on you. He made you feel better and knew how to take care of you. But mostly you just missed him. His comforting smile, the way he would rub your lower back and just hold you to help you fall asleep. You were miserable without him, and you looked like shit. It wasn’t ideal, but you could make it through the worst alone if you had too. You felt like something that had just crawled out of a sewer drain, and you were sure you looked like it too.

Finnick hated seeing you so ill. He always wanted to make you feel better in whatever way he could. Whether that was holding you while you angrily muttered and cursed at the world for having cramps, or making you a small dinner that he knew wouldn’t make you sick. Well more like got Mags to make something while he presented it to you, he had never been the best cook and when you weren’t well he knew it was hopeless to try and feed you anything he made, it was sweet the way he tried so hard.

Some days he was a pain in your ass, but you didn’t mind that anymore. 

“When he gets home, I swear I’m going to kill him.” You whispered, throwing a pillow over your head, maybe if you suffocate yourself enough, the lack of oxygen flow would stop the pain all together. “Damn fucking President Snow calling his ass away. Maybe I’ll kill him next.” You grumbled under the pillow.

“Kill who next?”

You sat up straight, regretting your decision the moment you cramped up a little more. You felt a small wave of nausea hit you as you covered your mouth. You hadn’t expected him home until far later in the week. 

“What the fuck?” You muttered, squinting your eyes. “You’re home early.” You observed the glitter on him, his demeanor and the way he was dressed.

It wasn’t unusual for him to come back from The Capitol dressed far differently than anything he wore at home. It wasn’t Finnick’s usual style, he preferred a more low key look when he was in District Four, always had, but he did look gorgeous.

“And you look like shit.” He raised an eyebrow, leaning against the door frame. “Are you in pain?”

“I feel like shit, thanks for the observation, Finn.” You rolled your eyes. “Yes, obviously.” You were far grumpier than you wanted to be but you couldn’t help it right now, the light was too bright and you abdomen felt like it was crushing your insides.

“Ah. I see.” Finnick said, exiting the room.

You grumbled to yourself angrily, desperately searching for a position that gave you any relief, though nothing you had tried worked thus far. At least Finnick was here, despite the annoyance you had at the entire situation, you were thankful he was home early.

“Hot water, and a cup of tea.” Finnick said, returning a few minutes later holding a steaming mug and a small towel.

“Finn.” You felt tears well up in your eyes. “Sorry. I’m not upset, and sorry for being a dick, thank you.” You smiled, as he passed you the cup, you inhaled it and the smile grew.

Chamomile, a luxury to get when you were outside The Capitol. It was your favourite tea, always had been, and he  managed to snag a few boxes of it when he could. He always thought of you like that, whenever he could get you something he would. 

He sat beside you, gently pressing a kiss into your shoulder and you exhaled deeply at the simple, yet comforting gesture. Having his presence was already a comfort.

“What do you need from me?” He asked, pressing his chin to where he laid the kiss. “You know I’ll do anything for you.”

“Kill me?” You questioned, a teasing tone lacing your words. You sipped the tea he had brought you and felt the warmth take over your body. 

“Well … not that.” He snorted into your shoulder, his hands moving to gently massage your sides. 

“Thank you for the tea, and the hot water. Hold me, massage my back … work your usual magic Odair, because when I tell you I’ve been so unpleasant these last two days … I’m not lying.” You huffed.

“You’re not always unpleasant?” He teased, moving the massage to your shoulders.

You could feel the deep knots slowly being undone, and you let out a sigh of relief, you hadn’t realized the tension had been that bad.

“I will kick you off this bed.” You warned, shooting him a glare.

“Then who would take such good care of you?” Finnick smiled, continuing to work his magic. “No one can live up to this.” He laughed, a small sound coming from the bass of his throat. 

You loved his laugh.

“Hush, let me relax.” You closed your eyes, and focused on his soft humming,

Days like these had always been so miserable, you had gotten so used to riding it out alone, but now you had Finnick. He would always take care of you, and you would in turn, take care of him. There would never be one without the other, not anymore.

“I love you.” You said, simply, leaning into him.

“I love you too.” He said back, holding you closer.

[mikodrawnnarratives]

TW (IMPLIED) CHARACTER DEATH

TW BLOOD

(not graphic blood but I'll still tag it just in case)

@naffeclipse

Might want to turn up your brightness for this one fellas

This is Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Extra

(might end up being three parts actually lol)

(my script is like 3-4 pages long so....)

Long post under the cut

I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you.

Take me back to the night we met.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Haunted by the ghost of you

Oh, take me back to the night we met

- The night we met by Lord Hurdon

This comic stems from my need for them to have a satisfying conclusion OKAY

I mean it's bittersweet but at least they make up (to a degree)

Explanation below (kind of spoiling next part) (kindof almost not really idk):

After being dangerously injured by a cryptid, Vanessa managed to contact the one person she wished she could have said goodbye to the most.

I'll explain more about why Vanessa is the way she is in the next part but without spoiling, Vanessa has grown a little since the last time she saw y/n. That, in combination with the fact she's bleeding out and taking on the mentality "fuck it why not", has led her to this decision.

This comic kinda goes off of the idea she gets an inkling of doubt in her mind about whether y/n is still "alive".

The next part will go into it more but that doubt mixed with her resolve leads her to at least try.

She tries to call y/n. They don't answer. She sends a text and no longer has the strength to hold on to her phone.

I don't think she'll be completely resolved to Vampires having actual consciousness but in her last moments she's also just wishing for her friend back. Her human friend. The one who has been dead all this time. Vanessa has a history with seeing ghosts so

It's worth a try

I'll let you decide which phone of y/n's she tried to contact.

Assuming y/n unblocked her on their previous phone at some point

So yeah, Vanessa in this comic is going back and forth on whether this is y/n or not. She's bleeding out, so does it really matter?

It's almost selfish how much she wishes to be free of the ache in her chest. The fact in the end, she couldn't free her friend.

You'll see more of this in the next part. I don't want to spoil it too much.

She doesn't wish to carry this burden of failing her friend. She reaches for a conclusion. She wants this to end well. She wants her friend to be okay. She wants to believe everything has worked out. She wants everyone she cares about to be okay without her.

She'll throw out her wish to the world. And hopefully, it'll come true.

She'll throw out her wish to you.

It is you.

Right?

I may have spoiled the next part a little bit oopsies

I just want to explain why Vanessa's different y'know

And y/n has their own conflicting emotions.

Even when things are a semblance of normal, it can't be. They are a vampire now. It tears them up inside.

But. Vanessa lets them touch her.

They've been afraid to do that. For the entirety of this reunion cut short.

She lets them touch her.

And again, Vanessa wouldn't be this way if... it weren't for a few somebodies.

But that's enough spoiling the next part.

[zhongrin]

Actually how would Zhongli react to us being pregnant? I just reread that post you just reblogged about his heats and well.

I rarely see follow up on this.

Like I would be terrified to find that I got pregnant. Like kinks aside, that's a real thing living in you now. And zhongli doesn't have any children, so how would he know how pregnancy goes? Is mortal body even capable of handling a god's child?

He can morph, so I guess it is possible to him to impregnate someone (or get impregnated, since he can shapeshift, but i think he still could be biologically male, but idk, he a dragon, so logic doesn't really apply that much) like human and not having to do it with a reptile.

Would we produce a baby dragon or like a hybrid when it was being born? Or just looking human?

Ganyu has horns but is human, so I guess it would be possible to give birth to human baby, but with a tail and scales ig?

I'm just trying to break down a fictional character parental planning, help

slfjsldksl luke we share one braincell bc i have some ideas about this in the draft but that one’s gonna delve deeper into his protective draconic nature so have this for now hehehe

(also, this post about gow!reader kinda touches pregnancy too, and i feel that some points applies for normal reader)

tags: minors dni, afab!reader, pregnancy, kids, (in one small section) monsterfucking, implied ovipos

if the baby was an adeptus or a half-dragon, i feel like he’ll be able to sense it. as in, one day as he’s cuddling with you, he would just suddenly stare and caress your stomach in wonder, a slight frown between his brows, before he suggests for you to go for a medical checkup out of nowhere.

the moment he gets a confirmation that yes, there’s life growing inside you, i think he would be a little shaken - but he wouldn't show it outright, especially if he can see that you're freaking out from the revelation. he would reassure you, cradling your trembling form against his and stroking your back as he murmurs softly about how you'll be okay and he'll be there with you all the way. when you're way calmer and seem rational enough, he would ask you what you want to do. and if you tell him that you want to become the child's parents with him? that's when the happiness really hits him. he'd place a sweet kiss on your lips, nuzzle into the crook of your neck, and literally starts purring.

he might not have any experience being a father and a husband with a pregnant wife, but i believe he has watched many who have gone through the experience, or he would at least know a lot of people whom he can ask about it. and this is zhongli we’re talking about, so he will 100% do his own research aside from preparing everything with you.

your devoted husband might have read about the hormonal changes that will inevitably hit you, but it still surprises him sometimes; the way you swing between moods and you showing him the sides he didn’t even know existed. he’d massage your swollen feet and your tense shoulders. he’d hold you as you cry because your wedding band can’t fit your finger anymore and assures you that it’s normal for that to happen... and if by the end of your pregnancy it still doesn’t fit, he tells you he can always enlarge it, and he promises he wouldn’t love you less if you have to take it off for the time being.

he’d offer you his arms whenever you want to walk, carry you when you don’t want to walk, insist on decorating the nursery while you sit and supervise him without lifting a finger, beat some sense into lecture childe when the ginger says something that unknowingly touches your nerve and makes you burst into tears, pick up the things your drop, help you put on your shoes, help you bathe and towel you dry and dress you in loose silk robes, fulfill all your weird cravings, hold your hair as you throw up the pickles and ice cream combo he got you at three am in the morning - listen. this man. he will literally be at your beck and call.

now about the baby itself… whether it would be a full human or half/full adeptus of half/full dragon, i'd like to imagine it's not set in stone and it'll be a roulette lol personally i would say that him having a normal human baby would be preferable to zhongli himself, since it adheres to his wish of living the rest of his life as a mortal… but imagining him cradling a half-dragon baby who’s yet to be able to shapeshift to hide their horns and tails and tiny claws just. makes me so soft ;w;

[cw.monsterfucking, cw.implied ovipos] there's also the possibility of him impregnating you in his dragon form and pumping his clutches inside you but i will leave that to juju @/seakicker

oh, and ganyu and xiao would definitely dote over the child (in their own way) when they’re born, you can’t tell me otherwise-

© zhongrin | 2022 ◆ no repost. reblogs much appreciated. feel free to reach out to submit suggestions, feedback, comments, or if you just want to talk!

◇ taglist ◇ @thestarsofenkanomiya | @genshinparty | @abyssmal-skies | @hamdehlesmis | @depressivecomforts | @sophiethewitch1 | @why-am-i-here-someone-save-me | @sunnshineflxwer | @heartonthemoon | @yuutasbabe | @percyval-archives | @carbs-need-more-love | @rebeccka | @queen-belial | @stygianoir | @niverine | @silentmoths | @niktwazny303 | @dustofthedailylife

ps. if you want to be removed/added from the taglist, just send an ask!

[matan4il]

911 ep 707 first watch reactions

Oh man, I'm actually not sure I have that much to say about this ep.

The entire plot with Mara and her brother Tyson was very sweet, very nice, and way too convenient. One day, shows are going to stop using the phrase, "There must be something you can do!" like it's some secret magic phrase, that makes this sentiment into a reality, AND turns the person addressed into someone willing to risk everything, in order to do that one thing they can do, which is usually something they're very much not supposed to... That said, Denny was sweet, Mara was lovely, her with Tyson was very endearing, and Henren continued to rule.

The storyline with Maddie was nicely handled, both her trauma, and the way Chim helped her use it to figure out the case and help save everyone from the stalker. My little Madney heart absolutely loved it. And Maddie's distress over a baby involved felt very real and understandable, when she's a mom herself now.

But then in a sense, it was clear this has no long term repercussions, other than bringing Brad into contact with Bobby. With his burn scars, and what we know about the fire that Bobby caused in the past, we can guess where this is headed. I trust that 911 will delve into this coming clash with the same humaneness with which it tackles most storylines.

But I'll be honest, I don't really like where Eddie's headed. I know Shannon scarred him deeply, but he was able to let go of her, and allow her to walk away from him twice while she was alive. It's weird if it's now being implied that the reason why he was never able to move on to another serious r/s is that he was stuck on her. The way she died was traumatic and painful, and it made sense that, even accepting that they as a couple were over, he had a hard time dealing with her death, but Eddie seemingly moved on in s4 at the latest. It feels a bit like they don't really know what to do with him, and how to move him on, so they keep going in circles with his character. Kinda like they were with Buck in s6. None of what we saw in that season helped Buck get to some major breakthroughs that we've seen in this one, so this current storyline with Eddie might end in the same way.

I'm not saying it doesn't have the potential to move him forward, and I'm sure it will be presented as if it has whether it actually does or doesn't (kinda like how 618 presented Buck and Natalia as a move forward, even though it very obviously was not), but right now, I'm not enjoying it. I also... even with this idea of having Eddie run into a Shannon look-a-like, I feel they could have gone in a lot of different ways, and the one where he goes on a date with her while having a serious gf he's essentially cheating on, it just doesn't feel great, or true to Eddie's values. Which can be the point, right? That sometimes we're so shaken up, we do stuff that's uncharacteristic. If that's where they'll take it, then it's working, 'coz right now, everything about this feels a little off. Let's hope they do something actually constructive with this, and give Eddie real progress (rather than just give Tim an opportunity to re-use an actress he already said he really likes).

Small mandatory Buddifer moment was really lovely, even if far from what my shipper heart would want. Then again, I honestly feel it's so funny that Buck is dating Tommy, while being married to Eddie, his actual baby daddy. If there aren't a lot of fics shipping all three men already, then IDK fandom.

Thank you for reading! If you’re looking for more, you can find��my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

[lumineary-arts]

Saw you ask about ppls AUs uh

Most of mine, admittingly, don't have designs yet. At least not drawn ones. Oops!!

But I can like?? Still ramble ig?

I also have a swap AU! I haven't posted a lot ab it, but it's called Solver Shift.

In it I put Sam in Cyns place. So the DDs have pink accents (wasn't comfortable using Doll and making them red, despite barely drawing DD armbands anyways - personally at least)

Some places I'm still unsure about, like idk whether Khan and Nori should be direct swaps with Ron & Tessa or should be put in Tessas parents position. If I go the latter idk who to put in Tessas place lol.

Ron and Tessa weren't actually ever romantically involved. They were just best friends, and were like "well we live together, we both kinda wanna know what having kids is like. So let's raise one together"; insert Nuke (N) being built. Tess survived a few years into his life, they built Cyn and then yada yada you know the story - dead mom

If it wasn't obvious by Ns name, the rail gun gets replaced by explosives. Thank Cyn for that, it was her idea. (They both take canonverse Uzi her engineering skills, but Cyn takes the more unhinged aspect of the personality.) - Nuke was like "we gotta do something about the DDs but idk what!" And Cyn, sparkly eyed and all, was like "Let's blow them up!"

I need to figure out some episode stand ins seeing as Cyn is younger but still sticks to N like glue. Beau takes Dolls place, they'd be Similar in age to Cyn (aka I gotta give them a body design F)

Oh also, as for befriending the DDs -- whilst Ep1 would run similar to canon; after that Thad/T would bond faster with the siblings than Uzi/Z bc they keep their canonverse personalities mostly!! So that's a reverse. Also T wouldnt want to kill the Prom unlike V, he just genuinely wants to make friends 😭

Don't ask me why Beau is at the prom, being younger and all. Might just make it an all years general prom rather than just the graduating class.

Next AU yay

Blood & Bats is a Vampire/Human AU! DDS and Solver Drones are vampires, you get the gyst!

N & Cyn are bio siblings, got separated bc of a divorce. Eventually both were separately taken away for shitty parenting, one of which caused Cyn to get vampirism one way or another. She also has DID/OSDD1 in this AU, the Solver conciousness isn't an evil entity here, just s Persecutor under the definition of "Misguided Protector who hurts as a form of protection" -- they're basically just a terrified vampire kid who thinks they're a danger and thinks isolation is the only way to keep their lived ones safe.

At some point the Elliots adopt N, later Cyn too. They also have previously adopted V and J. As time goes on, the alphabet trio one by one get turned by Cyn/Solver but they catch her after that so Tessa never is turned.

Uzi is basically a half vampire. Her mom was one, her dad wasn't. I don't remember the details atm, but I assume I've posted them somewhere in the tag on my account, but iirc Khan killed Nori in a moment of shock and survival instinct when finding out. Uzi doesn't know this. She finds out later after being turned herself (on accident!) - either through N or Cyn. Might do N to draw a parallel to the miscommunication between ep 2 and 3. Bc yeah Uzi would assume it's on purpose and he broke a promise.

Once they fix things, she finds out about her dad killing her mom and she runs away from home, terrified he might kill her too -- she crashes at the siblings place OR Thads place. I'm not sure yet. Both have pros and cons.

Khan cant easily access the manor, needs to be at an event for it. But the parents would want Uzi OUT asap. On Thads end; Teacher (Thad and Lizzy are either step or half siblings idk yet) and Ron (uncle, moved in after his sister died to help with the kids!) Would not let Khan take Uzi home sending as they see her terrified. They don't know what happened. But Khan has easier access bc he's friends with Teacher and obviously Lizzy is there which Uzi isn't thrilled about.

That's as far as I can remember the storyline -- there would still be parallels to some episodes! Ep 4 would still happen! Just some would survive! Rebecca would be found by one of the alphabet trio and turned to save her life. She's wheelchair bound after that. Sam survives but everyone thinks he got too high and doesn't believe him when he talks rambling about Uzis vampire form (Becca keeps it secret bc like if she says something it by extension endangers the other vampires in the school which now includes herself)

Intertwined/Inteetwinjng Codes (Me when I keep going back and forth between both titles) is a next gen AU thing. It started off as a joke,,, oh well

Kids.

These little shits are twins, they started this whole rabbithole. They would boot up sometime after Ep 4.

Later on their parents would want to program another kid & adopt one. Invert Annika and Zagi, except unexpected thing happened and they now have two babies to upload. Insert Raven.

Annika is currently undergoing redesign, ignore how basic she looks compared to her siblings lol.

As for the last 2 kids -- they didn't WANT any more, but when being sent to another colony they run into this toddler with a baby, who are being attacked by other DDs so they step in. Whilst they argue with N, Uzi gets the kids to safety. They were gonna keep the kids at their place for that night but Olicia did NOT want to sleep in the same place as a DD & a ton of half DDs -- so Thad gets called at 3am 😭 hes the cool uncle to their kids so yk

Next day it turns out adoption wing is full, so the siblings get passed around Thad, Uzis dad and Nuzi a ton (their own colony got killed so they cant go back there) until Ray gets attached to Nuzi, and you shouldn't separate a baby from its bonded adults. Seeing as he already lost the code related parents, they didn't want to risk further hurting his programming. So the siblings were basically accidentally adopted by Nuzi, despite Olivia not being happy about it at first. But she didn't want to separate from Ray.

That's mostly that. Theres not too much lore tbh. Just a silly half joke AU.

Also I have 6 siblings IRL so I tend to like give my ship kids many siblings 😭 so ignore that fact lol, just projecting

Then theres like 3 more Cyn centric AUs.

2 are pretty small.

DD!Cyn AU that has no name yet is just the AS uploaded a copy of Cyn/the Base Drones conciousness into a DD body and kept her with the trio. That'll lead to major Identity crisis once Cyn realizes technically she's a clone and her memories aren't *hers*. Aside from that: Cyn and J constantly have beef bc of J abusing N, Cyn tries to get her to stop but just faces verbal abuse herself in return :(

Shes also pretty distrusting of Uzi at first bc like!! Nobody except Cyn ever spent time with N!! That's a Drone getting close to her big brother which possibly could hurt him in the long run if she turns out to be like the other teammates!! (She eventually warms up to her)

Then there is Trapped/Hivemind AU. Literally just Cyn trapped in the hivemind, unable to reach her body for control. She can HEAR the other Solver Drones and the DDs, as they're all part of the hivemind. But she can't communicate with them. No matter how hard she tries.

Especially when she hears N she will call out to him but not get a response

So shes probably on the brink of losing it

Then there is "Dormant" Absolute Solver

Originally it was gonna be "The AS lost interest in Cyn as a host" and ig it still kind of is correct-? I need to go back and forth between certain aspects lol

But long story short, Cyn now got a separate body from the AS, doesn't know it killed Tessa & comes to C9 with J & "Tessa". The AS just brought her as a tool to manipulate N with, but she doesn't know that. Cyn joins the group from ep 6 onwards. Yay more PTSD for the child I guess :)

I havent written out ep 6 yet but I think she'd be with N & "Tessa" for that part.

Ep 7 she ends up on the side of the rocks with Uzi, and walks at a distance after being told to basically F off bc Uzi doesn't trust her now but Cyn is scared to be alone. Uzi notices Cyn isn't okay tho.

(Varian tangled reference yay)

Might I add that seeing Uzis wings and tail in ep 6 would have majorly triggered Cyns PTSD but shes unaware of why she feels so scared. So seeing Uzis tail the whole time definitely adds onto the stress =)

During the fight Uzi would reach out to Cyn through the hivemind, both girls calling out to N through Cyns body. The AS doesn't like that and forcefully shuts Cyn down. It has admin rights over her after all.

By the time Cyn wakes up, the AS is grabbing her to blackmail N after just having eaten Doll. Talking about how he wouldnt want to hurt his baby sister (hes aiming his laser cannon at the AS for context). Then it gets bored, drops Cyn and the regular program ensures. Except Cyn took Tessas gun and shoots herself free from the tentacles and runs to the pit after seeing Nuzi be pulled in. Whilst shes there trying to figure out how to get them back up (seeing as she cant use her Solver on them, or at least not Uzi. The show us so unclear if it works on DDs or not) the scene goes on.

I'm not sure yet who Cyn will stick with, probably N bc I've more ideas. BUT also I'm waiting for episode 8 to decide that for sure. Same with the ending. I got multiple bad ending ideas and also a good ending :) ep 8 will determine which one will be canon :)

Oh yeah Cyn lol -- both new and old ref bc of the oil canister I didn't draw in the new one yet. She still has it as you can see by the oil tubes!

Also the Good!Ending DAS!N would run a Daycare post canon. IC!N also runs one. I just like having N work with kids.

Most of these (I think all except DD & Trappsd Cyn) are tagged on my account probably with some more info

Idk if the tags will show up tho bc they don't always for me when searching for them :(

My pinned post has the tags listed I think

I think that was all of them hm (istg if I forgot one 💀)

OKAY THIS ONE'S SUPER IN DEPTH I'M HEAVILY INTRIGUED. MULTIPLE AU'S DUDE!! I LOVE IT, KEEP EM COMING. Loving the ideas behind the swap AU. Putting Sam in Cyn's place is unique, I hadn't heard anyone do that before!! Also the thing about using pink is fair, I did use red but I didn't keep that in mind! A vampire AU's extremely fitting for Murder Drones, being a substitute for the Solver/Disassembly model. Since ep. 4 is my favorite, I love the fact it'd still play out here. Also I must say I REALLY like the next gen AU designs??? I actually kinda wish we saw more next gen stuff, or maybe I'm just not looking in the right places. Either way I very specifically love Rexim and Raven's designs, I think the color choices are really speaking to me. ALSO ALL THE CYN FANS ARE GONNA BE EATING UP THE CYN-CENTRIC AU'S. But it seems like the poor girl could never catch a break. WONDERFUL WORK ALL AROUND!!

[theamityelf]

Have you ever noticed that whenever people do protag switches it's always dr1/sdr2 or sdr2/ndrv3 but never dr1/ndrv3? I feel like that has unthought of potential. May I ask how you think that would go in both cases?

Ooooooh, I love it. Let's see. Let me try not to let my character biases factor in here, lol. (And you can obviously ask for elaboration on any of this, because clearly I'm not going to be super focused. Pretty much just stream of consciousness.)

In all scenarios, at least some of the deaths would happen differently, to different people, by different people, etc.

The Shuichi in THH scenario depends so heavily on which character he attaches himself to right away, lol. Unless we mean Kaede in THH?? Okay, that gets its own section. Yeah, let me section this...

Shuichi in THH

Like I said, this one depends on which character he attaches himself to right away. It could be Hina for her positivity and energy; she's probably the closest to Kaede, there. It could be Taka, who is also high energy and has the added bonus of being called the Ultimate Moral Compass. Shuichi really wants someone to be decisive and strongly believe in something when he feels he can't, and I can see Taka being that person for him. Where Shuichi's scared of doing the wrong thing and hurting people, he can feel assured that what Taka believes is generally going to be right.

Also great because, for all his passion, Taka's actual observations about the school are generally very surface level, so having Shuichi tag along will give him more information to report in his booming voice, while Shuichi gets to chill in his shadow.

When Taka and Mondo have their sauna showdown, I think Shuichi wouldn't go to bed when nighttime comes; he is more loyal to Taka than the nighttime promise. So he'd see the whole inception of the Ishimondo friendship, and I think it would take him a while to trust Mondo. There would be definite "Are you sure about this guy?" energy between him and Taka once Mondo is rolled into their friend group.

And due to Shuichi's overlap of being unfailingly loyal and super harsh when someone brings it out of him, I think the moment Byakuya talks crap about Taka, Shuichi would be the entire Byakuya Hate Squad.

Toko and Genocider would be interesting, because I think Shuichi's fear of convicting someone and ruining their life or getting them killed would interact in an interesting way with the prospect of Genocider Syo, who has gotten away with tons of murders because no one caught her...but then also Toko, who is just a temperamental artist who doesn't want to kill anyone and I bet Shuichi's read "So Lingers the Ocean". I think Toko and Syo would be a reason for Shuichi to confront his feelings about punitive justice. They're practically two diametrically opposed arguments in one body: Syo kills because she likes to, she doesn't regret it, she will keep doing it if no one stops her, but Toko has no choice but to be involved in it, etc. Idk. It's still a bad look for DID representation, so maybe we can take or leave that whole plot thread, but it would do interesting things for Shuichi's character, thematically.

He and Kyoko would work together frequently on investigations (in more of a parallel play kind of way) but not really develop the same bond of trust that she had with Makoto. They trust each other's competency, but beyond that they're not especially close.

Also, when Junko reveals this is a battle of hope versus despair, he would tear apart her whole argument. Like: No, this is a battle of whether subjecting people to absurd conditions might make them hurt each other, and the answer is obvious. Grow up.

It'd be interesting, lol.

Kaede in THH

In this case, I think she'd start off fully believing that someone is going to rescue them. She meets Byakuya and she's like, "Perfect! There's no way someone won't come looking for this guy. This will all be over soon." Since the situation in THH is more grounded than in V3, I think she wouldn't be nearly as serious about getting out until after the first motive. And even then, she's not the one who starts the killings; I still think that would be Sayaka.

I don't think any of the THH motives would really get Kaede, so she might not kill anyone.

I think she would flirt with Chihiro. She would think Chihiro is the cutest thing, and she would say so, and Chihiro would blush profusely. I think those two would get really close, and Kaede would encourage Chihiro, in Chapter 2, that they're already strong in their own way, which would cause them to really focus on using their talent to help the group.

She would also flirt with Mukuro, for however long that lasts. And she would be excited about Sayaka; another musician!

I think Kaede would absolutely match Toko's energy so hard. Toko would definitely have crap to say about her looks and probably her proportions, and Kaede would throw it right back. Honestly same deal with Syo. They would be the toxic yuri to end all toxic yuri. (This is my first time saying "toxic yuri". Did I do it right?)

I hope she makes it long enough to see the music room. She would have a field day with Junko.

Makoto in V3

Finally, this. Wait, actually...

Makoto in V3 replacing Shuichi

Yeah, it occurs to me I have to split this one, too. Okay. I think if Makoto were in Shuichi's place, he would also partner up with Kaede. I think when the whole "tunnel escape" sequence happens, he would suggest that they go to bed and try again tomorrow before everyone reaches the "Screw this forever!" threshold.

I like to imagine, as a result of this, trying the tunnel escape would be a daily thing for a while. Just a scheduled thing that the group regularly does together, much like breakfast. They might give up on it after Chapter 1 or 2, but I just imagine it lasting longer as an activity than in canon.

He wouldn't notice the bookcase thing, so whatever Rantaro was planning would happen. I think, in that chain of events, Makoto and Kaede notice Kaito's little gathering taking place and go see what's going on there, someone spots Rantaro opening the bookshelf or just sees the bookshelf opening, and they reach the conclusion that the mastermind (or Monokuma) is making their move, resulting in a kerfuffle in which Rantaro is killed. Something like that.

I'm not saying who killed him just now; the sequence of deaths is its own thing.

I like to imagine that Kokichi calls Kaede and Makoto the team's mom and dad.

I think Kaito would be unsatisfied with Makoto's manliness, but I don't know that he'd invite him to workout sessions like he did with Shuichi in canon; I think, where Shuichi reads to Kaito as actively unconfident and in need of boosting, Makoto more reads as overly apologetic and easily manipulated/malleable. And depending on how long Kaede survives, I think Kaito would be less likely to treat Makoto as his sidekick than to just say that he, Kaede, and Makoto are all a powerful trio. (Maki does get roped in eventually, but it starts with them.) After all, Makoto isn't an accomplished detective; he's just a normal guy doing his best. And even when he does a really good job, it doesn't make Kaito all that insecure. The vibe is just different. (An Ultimate Detective effortlessly surpassing Kaito's efforts versus an Ultimate Luckster surpassing Kaito's efforts through high efforts of his own.)

The lack of Shuichi means the group does not have a detective. I think a result of this will be that Kokichi would be a bit more active in guiding the protagonists towards clues.

Maki still falls in love with Kaito, and she's also super protective of Makoto, mainly because he's short and can't take a hit. (If Kaito ever punched him, he would pass right out. But I don't think Kaito does punch him.)

Whenever Tenko talks to him, he reflexively apologizes. It's a running gag. His narration will be like, Why am I apologizing? and This was a pretty weird conversation...

Makoto in V3 replacing Kaede

Now, in this case, I'm imagining Makoto manages to trip out of the locker, does a full tumble over Shuichi, and bumps his head on a desk. Just full disaster stuff right off the bat, and Shuichi panics like "Are you okay??" and checks his head, makes sure he didn't bump it too badly, etc. I'm specifying this because Makoto won't be as energetic right out the gate as Kaede, but I do think Shuichi would really like and trust him if he stayed with him for longer than a second, so this is a contrivance to make sure Shuichi stays with him for longer than a second. Some luck, if you will.

(It might not be totally necessary; if they wake up in the same room, it makes sense for Makoto and Shuichi to stick together through the introductions. But this is just to make sure, lol.)

In this version of Chapter 1, they try the escape tunnel a normal amount of times and then give up on it, never to attempt it again (until Electrohammers).

Shuichi notices the bookcase, and they do set up the cameras, but there's no shot put ball trick. Rantaro dies a different way (likely orchestrated by Tsumugi) and the cameras are crucial evidence in the trial that follows.

Because of the steps needed to get to the camera plan, there's a running gag where Miu sees Makoto and Shuichi as her subs. Kaito sees Makoto and Shuichi as his sidekicks. (In this version, the nightly workouts do happen.)

Kokichi tries to make Kaito jealous of Shuichi's closeness with Makoto. (Kind of like, "Why would Shuichi need you when he has Makoto?")

In both versions, I like to think that Tsumugi relates to Makoto on the basis of plainness...or competes with him over it, to his confusion.

And in both versions, I think Makoto finds Angie really cute at first and they hang out a few times, before she starts the Student Council thing. He's kind of her friend. When he doesn't join her, it lowkey hurts her feelings a lot, but she expresses this by casually calling him a heretic.

Aaaand, in both versions, Makoto is the only person Kaito can best in the arcade games.

[teruthecreator]

(tw for racism, pedophilia, transphobia, child impregnation mention)

yeah idk why y'all read this

i was originally going to just post this and have some tags with my reasonings, but i realized that opens me up to too much bullshit from people who may think i'm being unnecessarily mean or whatever. so i'm going to explain exactly why the screenshots above are something i hold issue with.

firstly, and i just want to get this out of the way, this post is not intended to be a hit piece against the creator. i've seen how she reacts to any mild-mannered or slightly joking criticism, so i know this post is probably going to not land well. but it isn't my intention to make her mad or anything--she's writing a piece of content for the internet, which means she is just as open to criticism as any other poster. and what i intend to go into in this post is criticism. i'm allowed to do this, as that is the nature of the internet. people are allowed to critique whatever they please, and if you don't want critique then you shouldn't post. simple as!

i am also making no attempts to posit myself as better than the creator. i'm not doing this for clout or moral superiority or any of that dumb shit. i simply want to discuss something that's been bothering me for a bit, while simultaneously warning people who haven't read this yet (who may be sensitive to the issues above) to steer clear. if things like casual racism or transphobia aren't properly tagged, then readers who are affected by such things run a risk reading this! same goes with people who are triggered by lewd content involving minors. i wanna make sure people are getting a more critical scope of this work than what has been hoisted up by others.

okay, now that i've gotten that out of the way, i'm going to get into my points.

firstly, the subtle and not-so-subtle racism throughout this fic, especially in relation to serizawa. i'm white, so there is only so much i can speak on without trampling over the words of other fans of color, but some of this feels so blatant it's odd it hasn't been noted earlier. it's important to note before i go into it that serizawa is specifically written as half-black half-japanese for this fic, in case the screenshots don't make it abundantly clear. but there are just too many moments of casual racism in this fic. i'm not talking about the plot point of serizawa being bullied as a kid for being mixed; i'm not mixed, so i can't speak on the accuracy there but it is well-known that black people face a lot of racism in japan. i'm talking about how it seems everyone else has these racist moments that aren't acknowledged by serizawa or the narration as being bad.

reigen hypothesizing over serizawa's exact ethnic background is just strange. yes he's a fairly observant guy (he has to be, with his job), but there is no canonical evidence to suggest he would immediately jump to theorizing whether serizawa is american or not. and the way it's posed in that first quote--"he has darker skin and the kind of hair texture that would likely indicate African ancestry"--is not great. that's an extremely inappropriate way to bring up someone's race. i don't think most people would stare at someone and be like "hmmm well your nose shape and hair texture would suggest you're of this race". it's racial essentialization that is only slightly covered up by the excuse of "oh he tweets in english". there are some other smaller moments of questionable wording, like calling serizawa's afro "sloppy" when it isnt (which btw there's another issue with the creator only referring to an afro as a "fro". it's a hairstyle; you're allowed to use the actual name of it). even if reigen cuts his hair in canon, he never states it's because serizawa's afro looks sloppy. (also there's something to be said about the casual racism baked into making your employee cut his natural hairstyle for a job, as that is a very real issue many black people face when wearing their natural hair or even protective styles in the workplace.)

i'm especially bothered by toichiro's very casual racist remarks. toichiro in this fic is a general bother of mine (most of which can be boiled down to "he would not fucking say that"), but the way she chooses to characterize him in relation to serizawa feels gross. calling a black man a slave should be a very obvious red flag, but also saying serizawa (again, as a black man) has a "brutal masculine appeal" is also extremely stereotypical and racist. and really there is just no need for it; toichiro's actions in canon prove how shitty of a guy he is without the need for him to be racist (along with other things i'll get to in a bit). as my girlfriend put it: he doesn't need to be a member of the fucking kkk to show he's a bad guy.

there's also, again, the very casual racist remark of calling serizawa a "dog". i don't care if that isn't the intent; when you are writing a character of color you need to be aware of your wording, even in insults (unless she intended to make tsuchiya racist, which i don't think she did).

secondly, the eugenics/child pregnancy bit. it is surreal to even have to write this, but i seriously do not understand the purpose of either of these bits in the story. they are so minor yet so jarring you can't help but wonder why they're there. once again, i do not think you need to have toichiro doing esper eugenics just to prove he is an evil guy. he has nuance, and by making him casually reference child pregnancy (like that isn't an INSANE thing to say) reduces that nuance to nothing. that's the only reason i could see why that bit was included: to make toichiro look worse. but, even still, the author is running the risk of potentially triggering victims of csa or people who don't want to see that by not properly tagging the mention of it (or, at the very least, warning readers in the intro notes). the only other explanation for it would maybe be shock factor??? but that's a pretty shitty thing to use for shock factor, if i'm honest. also the fact that the esper eugenics was referenced again in a more recent chapter just has me very disturbed and confused. there isn't a canonical explanation for why we see less espers who are women than espers who are men, but that doesn't mean we need to jump to fucking Eugenics. it's weird!

thirdly (and this is probably one of my biggest problems and the main reason i wanted to make this post), the weirdly lewd/sexual language shou uses constantly, along with referring to reigen as a pedo or a creep at several points. frankly, i think it's pretty fucking gross for someone in their near-40's to be writing a 12-year-old talking so casually about sex like that's normal. which, i'm sorry, but it's not. yes, teens know about sex and like to joke about lewd shit. but a 12-year-old is not about to make references to a grown man's virginity. 12-year-olds draw dicks on their desk bc they think it's funny. 12-year-olds say the word "buttfuck" because it has the words "butt" and "fuck" in it, and those are the two funniest words on earth to a kid that age. i literally do not understand the purpose of having shou be so lewd all the time. for one, it doesn't make sense for his character. shou is shown time and time again to be extremely mature for his age, but that maturity extends to shit like assembling a counter-terrorism unit and extending a hand to his father to allow him to try again. and even then he's still just as naive as any other kid his age! the omake where he's telling his guys to go to the "far right corner" based on ritsu’s advice proves that he still has plenty of blindspots that are indicative of his age. leaning into this raunchy, lewd version of shou is just weird. and, again, i think it is made a bit weirder given the author's age!!! not ageshaming or whatever--i'm 23 and i write fanfic, clearly i cannot judge there--but it is just extremely inappropriate in my opinion. also having shou be more versed in sextalk than serizawa is odd too and speaks to a larger issue of serizawa's infantilzation throughout this fic, but that's something i can get into in another post if people want an explanation.

also, the way she constantly calls reigen a creep and even has him being accused of being a pedophile during the twitter cancellation is extremely inappropriate when, again, there is NO CANONICAL BASIS FOR THIS! everyone just calls him a fraud and a scammer during separation arc; there is never a reference to reigen being seen as a pedophile in that arc. and, yes, while there are versions of mob psycho where reigen is very clearly written as a creep (looking very specifically at the netflix adaptation), that doesn't mean it's good. honestly, the creep mentions all just feel like really poor jokes that do not land in the slightest.

finally, the transphobia (aka WHY IS SHIMAZAKI A CHASER). i literally do not know what else to say other than: why? why is this a thing? why is he a chaser? what is the purpose of this? is it a joke? i feel like it's supposed to be, but seeing as the author is cis i don't think that's a joke she should really be making. it not only comes out of left field, but it's just kind of a weird thing to ascribe to a character for no reason. not to mention, it's uncomfortable! trans women deal with enough creepy antics from cis men in real life--why must they be accosted by this guy too? it's just weird and uncomfortable.

i wanna round out this post by saying, once again, that i'm not trying to attack anyone with this post. but i do hope people come away from this with a new perspective on this work, and maybe think twice before recommending it uncritically to someone. to the author specifically, i hope you can read my post without rage or indignance blinding you. i might be a little blunt or rude in parts, but it's only because i'm passionate and i don't mince my words when it comes to things i'm passionate about. to the readers, understand i am not judging you for reading this fic without noticing these things. your own life experiences will give you certain blindspots and there's nothing wrong with that. i have plenty of blindspots of my own! it's what makes us human.

there is more i could say, but this post is long enough. i ask that if you come to me in my inbox or in dms about this that you treat me with respect, as i will do that for you. writing something like this took a lot out of me, as i'm usually not so open about my opinion on shit like this.

have a good day :-)

[spacecasehobbit]

Occasionally I remember that it is, in fact, entirely possible for me to do things like make up my own tagging games if I want to participate in more of them. I can even do this whenever I want, and then I can share it on tumblr, and not only can nobody stop me but also other people besides me might even enjoy it too!

In the spirit of this revelation, I propose the following rules:

Post a line from one of your works (or a detail from your art, if art is more your speed!) that you are especially proud of having written.

Tell us what you most like about it!

Tag, idk, 4-6 people? Or more, or less, if you want, as long as you tag at least someone to pass the game to after you!

Be reminded of a thing you made that you're proud of.

Profit!

I'll start! From my AtLA fic, Acting Out:

They turn their backs on the stars and the ocean to rejoin the rest of the group, and Zuko thinks he knows his answer: here in this place in this moment with the weight of his past scattered on the sand behind him, he feels lighter than he has in years.

It's the last line of the fic, and it wasn't until @erisenyo pointed it out that I realized I'd accidentally ended the fic with perfect imagery both for Zuko as a firebender, and for imagery I'd used intentionally earlier in the fic. I enjoy revisiting this line every so often, now, as a reminder that sometimes it's okay to let myself stop being anxious and just write, instead of strangling my writing to death by trying too hard to reach some unattainable standard of "perfect." And then on top of that, sometimes really neat things happen like the perfect symbolic imagery appearing on the page without doing it on purpose or even realizing it till someone else points out how well it works!

I'm tagging: @erisenyo, @nythtak-blog, @sulkybender, @rhaegang, @lazybakerart

(Quick edit to add: Also anyone who sees this and wants to participate, please consider this your blanket permission to do so whether or not you've been tagged!)

[reedsofintimacy]

Hi everyone! Welcome to my bio! (It's a long one)

You can call me Reeds or Reed. Some basic facts:

💚 I am 25

💚 I am 6'4 = 193cm

💚 I am American

💚 I am ethnically Scandinavian

💚 I speak basic Français and 汉语

💚 I am a virgin 😇 I've actually never had my first kiss

💚 I wear glasses and am definitely a nerd

💚 I am straight

My tags:

#Ask Reeds - my ask responses

#ReedsPosts - my misc short posts

#ReedsWrites - my longer form writing

#ReedsIRL - photos/audio/media of me

I have a snap with the same username and am finally verified on PH! But i haven't posted anything yet.

This bio will be a bit long, so for more info on everything about me click below! 🥳

💚 POSITIONS AND ROLES 💚

I'm a top, meaning I enjoy the act of pleasuring my partner more than having my partner be focused on stimulating me. If we had to pick a position, I'd want it to be the one that feels best to her, because seeing her loving it is what thrills me, less about min-maxing my own sensations

I lean a bit subby, meaning I'd prefer my woman to be in charge and take the lead, but I can be flexible and switch. Society has (sadly 🎻) not created many women who feel naturally comfortable bossing men around in the bedroom or elsewhere and really enjoy it. That's fine, I mostly just want to pamper my partner. Whether that's through worship and service as a sub myself, or spoiling a pillow princess submissive as more of a dom. It feels less natural to me, but when I see how happy and needy it makes her I'm very happy to give it my best 🩷 but I can't do super mean aggressive slap-slap-slap "what did you say to me!?" *punish *punish it just isnt in me.

So combining those two (top and sub), I like the sort of woman who while we're hanging out would decide she wants her pussy eaten, and so would spread her legs, and begin tugging a bit at me coaxing "babyy~ i think you need a little snack~ 😈🫦" and then watch a huge bulge form in my pants as my face makes contact with her thighs and I greedily service her until she can't take it anymore and pulls me up to kiss her instead.

Or while we're in a fitting room shopping for clothes would lift up her skirt, revelaing she isnt wearing any panties, and lean in giving me a big hickey and whisper "you're going to breed me in this fitting room 💋" and giggle as she leaned over into the position that always felt the best for her, eyeing my blushing red embarassed face, hesitating. "Or else I'll moan 👅💕" she'd threaten and tease, but silence herself with a bite of her lip when she felt me slide in and fill her, her personal fucktoy thrusting just the way she taught him until she gets everything she wanted, and then praises me with a "thank you, good boy 🥰😘" enjoying the helpless puddle I've now been turned into. Then slide her pants back on and walk out of the room with her pet's sperm still leaking down her thigh, off to go keep browsing while waiting for me to collect myself.

💚 FETISHES AND KINKDOM 💚

I'm fine with just plain vanilla sex ofc all cuddly and lovey with little growls of "you're mine 🫦"

🩵 BDSM ❓️

I'm not into bdsm like sadomasochism and pain play. Wax, knives, whips, black leather. I just don't get the appeal, I'm soft and sweet. Some light bondage to mix things up, collaring, etc is all fine but not too much beyond that.

🩵 Pegging ❌️

I am *not* into pegging 🙀 (gasp) I know. Heresy. But I don't want anything in my butt, see the above about topping. Although being pinned down and her riding her clit against my bottom to masturbate herself...😏💦

🩵 Humiliation & Praise

I like the idea of humiliation but anytime I've actually heard it its been super cringe. The fantasy of the "popular girls" inviting me to a sleepover just to watch how easy i get hard then pin me down and toy with me knowing whatever they show me would be the most I've ever seen, etc is really sexy to me 🫠 but the moment a real human voice is roleplaying it idk I find it hard to suspend disbelief and not be overly aware of myself and feel silly. Maybe its the anxiety disorder. Praise is always nice 🥰

🩵 Service

I consider myself a service top sub and love to worship and please someone, whatever it is that makes them turned on. That can be giving lots and lots of head and getting my face ridden 😍 or using my hands for her, or giving a foot massage, or chest kneading, or holding her book as she reads, or brushing her hair, or carrying her things, or worshipping her butt with kisses, smooching her tummy, clitwarming her in my mouth while she reads, etc. I love to be useful to someone and that extends to in the bedroom. Bonus if it comes with praise for doing a good job.

🩵 Breeding 💦

Creampies are so sexy, i dunno why you'd want to finish anywhere else. There's something so posessive about insemination and the idea of fertility and a cervix and womb thats just very 🥵. I also think the body changes associated with pregnancy are very sexy. Getting a cute tummy bump and swollen leaky breasts the prove I'm claimed to you now is yummy. But i dont think i want kids, definitely not right now, and theres nothing sexy about labor pains or abortions lol so for now this is more of a mental fantasy kink. But if they invented a birth control pill that still simulated the tummy and tits a bit and needed a particular potency and cycle timing to activate i would be alllll over it 😍😍 also maternity clothes are so cute.

🩵 Dry humping & grinding

I'm a very big virgin, so sometimes overly forward stuff just overloads my senses like blowing out a photograph with sunlight and i dont get much out of it. With dry humping the motions, the desperation, the longing for whats behind her panties but not quite getting it, the involvement of her clit which will feel really nice for her, how she rocks her hips controlling exactly what tempo will make her go absolutely crazy its just so needy and cute and sexy. Id love someone able to get off just by desperately rubbing agsinst my throbby bulge.

🩵 Posession, Lipstick stains, & Hickeys

Possession is very sexy and what better way than cute lipstick marks stamping me as owned. Or a collar, or her name written in sharpie on my underwear, or bites just under the shirt line. I want it all I want to be so so hers.

🩵 Lactation 🙈

Idk if the actual milk would be warm and gross irl but the idea that you can suckle someones pretty tits so hard it makes them leak, and that milk pressure builds up and gets achy needing to be relieved by a subs mouth is very 💦💦💦 plus needed to go through breeding to activate it usually is kinda naughty in a "I did this to you" type of way.

🩵 Me as a Dom

As far as being more of a dom goes, I think I actually prefer the ddlg side of things, which I think is currently out of style and unpopular. But I like the dynamic lending itself to pampering and spoiling someone and being more focused on sweetness relative to just being some sort of master figure. Also like littlespace gear is still so cute like pacis and onesies will be adorable forever its such a mix of cutesy girly and a bit humiliating for someone to wear that I really think it works 🩷When I identified more as a dom I kinda always wanted an abdl sub to baby and still think its cute and degrading and hot & am embarassed to admit that, I never e-dated anyone who actually did it. 💖 but if I'm the sub, while I have a mommy kink I'm not into regression or any of that stuff myself

🩵 Omo/pee (her, not me) sounds spicy and is hot to watch, idk if it'd gross me out irl. I used to be really into videos of girls wetting their pants or panties and something about it is still strangely hot. Have a tiny maybe fantasy of a girl making out with me straddling my lap and then just letting her bladder go as we kiss and grind soaking us both. 🙈

🩵 Collaring and petplay is cute, I'd totally wear one for her.

🩵 Getting referred to as "my little white boy" by a nonwhite person with a thing for white guys (🙈🙈 SHUTUP!!)

🩵 Minor humiliation like being teased by her panties or sat on/used as a stool etc

🩵 Not really an irl thing but in hentai when the girl is overstuffed and you can see the bulge pushing up her tummy 🥵

🩵 Corruption, of either of us and especially me.

🩵 Dirty Talk

One of my absolute favorite things to do is get to talk to someone as they touch themselves 🩷 turning them on with my fantasies and then begging them to please please please cum, spamming my words as they release so they can just read and not have to type just feel like im there with them 🥰

💚 MY "TYPE" IN WOMEN 💚

My taste in women irl is that I always have the biggest crush on the kindest girl 🙈 like the one who's proactive and honestly makes me feel bad for not being a better person when I'm around her. Someone who listens, has a big heart, Christmas is her favorite holiday just because of the cheer and her sweet childhood memories and she thinks its cute to hold hands. Who focuses on the positives whenever possible and wouldn't compromise her ideals to fit in socially. Not into gossip or putting people down, is nice to strangers, waitresses, etc. I think you get the point. Something about those sort of people imprints deep into my heart 💟

I am into successful, intelligent, driven women. Like "I was the president of ___ club, I'm a ___ position in this company, I have a degree in ___, I speak ___ and ___ languages, I play the ___" it all makes me just 🥵🥵🥵. I'd love someone who has some sort of public skill/hobby like playing in an orchestra 😍 or doing community theater or playing in a sports team, anything where I can show up and get to be a cheerleader like 🥹😻 that's my baby up there!!! And get to clap and cheer and compliment how she did I just think would be super cute and fun. Then take her out to dinner afterward for doing such a good job ⭐️

I don't find typical domme-aesthetic things like -- *Smoking *Vapes *Weed *Lots of tattoos *Short hair *Goth vibes *fishnets *dyed hair *promiscuous *into knives and blood -- to be very attractive personally. Just not my type.

I'm more into miss innocent church girl, honors student valedictorian who secretly has had a high sex drive awakened and guess who walked right into her trap 👀💦 she secretly corrupted herself and now she's going to corrupt me 🙈❤️‍🔥

I totally get the sex appeal around the bully type domme who is all tough, even if she shows you her sweet side, and that sounds super hot on paper but idk irl I just don't seem to be into people who are actually that way. Its very "sexy" but it isn't compatible on a deeper layer

I don't really care about age. Obviously they *must* be legal but college student who is younger than me vs someone my age vs milf who is a bit older it's all a wash. All have their distinct appeal. All get a 👍.

Height is also inconsequential. I mean I'm (6'4 193cm) or thereabouts so I'm nearly always going to be a fair bit taller than my partner regardless of her height. I think the size difference is cute, something about having a 4' in your height is just idk a bit hot? Lol but i have no real preference I like the whole spectrum and never really think about height, and hypothetically if I *could* find a woman who's my height or taller, that'd be sexy too 🥰 Different flavors but all delicious.

I am a genuine fan of both more curvy and more skinny body types, but less so each extreme. A slim figure and grabbable waist i can fit my hand around and a lil *pow* booty is scrumptious, but if she's so skinny its like borderline unhealthy and it feels like id break her if I grab her wrong and I can see all her bones 😬. Of course I'm very happy to support a partner struggling with an ed or who has had one in the past, but I want my darling more than anything to be healthy. Likewise curvy people can be extremely yummy 😋😍, I love a curvy tummy in a bikini it oozes fertility. but if its to the extent it prevents her from going on cute lil hikes with me and creates health problems then I'd want to help her workout and cook her some homemade healthier food so she can feel better and be more energized and well. But purely aesthetically ❤️ curvyness is a yes. So are stock standard body types ❤️

Breasts and everything to do with the body is actually kinda gravy because for me its the *face* that I'm attracted to and the body is just the fun present that comes along for the ride. Nothing about someones chest size or whatever would make me unattracted to them if i liked their face. Buttt obviously a full chest is nice, but i hesistate to say big because it really depends on weight and body. Fullness relative to body type so that it 🥳 pops is most sexy. So a skinnier girl will be a smaller size, but being skinny and still having a fairly prominent bosom makes it 🥳 pop. Likewise being curvy will grow the size, but some people already big will now develop 💥turbo milkers💥 that 🥳 pop. So its less about surface area or bra size and more about protrusion from the chest, and ofc big is nice ❤️ that being said an itty bitty chest while independently less sexy becomes part of a persons vibe and fits into the whole which as a connected body can be very attractive 💋 Plus then you get to wear pretty bralettes. I'm not really hyper aware of tit sizes but I did want to explain what I think most guys mean when they say they like "big tits" but also we dont pay that close attention a boob is a boob and theyre all fun so just 🩷 love your body mkay?

Bootys i notice less person to person, theres just like 3% of the population that has 💥💥 in their pants and *also* dresses to accentuate it and show it off and look we all think those people are 🤤🤤 like making a protruded lil mound out of their tight jeans or rocking some yoga pants or leggings. Hottie hot hot but 97% of us have unremarkable normal butts.

One thing I *am* really into, the closest thing I have to a "type" is long hair ✨️✨️. Like i have never seen a girl with hair past her butt I didn't want to marry. Mid-back 😀 waist length 😃 past butt 🤪 the longer the better. Idk what it is it just seduces and intoxicates me its so pretty. I know its such a pita for women to maintain which is why its very rare, and my partner can have her hair however she wants it i wouldnt want her to suffer for me, but super long hair is just goddess tier its like the one physical attribute i have a clear robust preference on. Short hair indeed can be cute but long hair will always win in my heart. Straight, a bit wavy, curly honestly it doesnt matter that much its all gorgeous. Long hair my beloved 💕 may i have my lady sit on my lap and allow me to brush it for her some day. I want to help wash it and learn 1,000 ways to style it for her, although hanging free is the best 😍

People have different physical sensitivities, and I think I prefer having a pretty sensitive partner. I've had before during sexting where I'd spend 3 hours naughty talking someone and sexting while they touch and still just barely cum by the end, and other partners where we'd be going 20 mins and she'd go 🥺 I'm really close and I'd beg her to let it go and then she'd release and then probably be too sensitive to even go again for a whole day. That was soooo cute and sweet to me. Since I love pleasing someone so much getting that validation more quickly was really nice and also fit my schedule better, and it would be so creamy and throbby and pulsy when she was done it made my eyes roll back to just watch it. And she'd have to be so careful about how much she touched or it would ache even if she was soaked and horny still. It was really endearing ❤️ everyone is different and needs different amounts of time but I'd prefer someone where I can pour everything into a really great 30 or 40 mins as opposed to being up all night trying to get them off. Being especially creamy is also a plus 🤭

I'm totally fine with someone who is a little too tight and has to be really gentle with themselves, its cute and I don't mind at all if most days all she can tolerate is a gentle tonguing and some kissing. Same with if she's too sensitive and has to stop early before I finish, so long as she gets off and is satisfied I'm a happy camper 😇💖 But nothing wrong with stamina either

So concludes the sexual information!

💚 About Me Personally 💚

🩵 I am musical 🎶

I play the guitar 🎸 and previously played the drums 🥁 and piano 🎹 and even have a clarinet

🩵 I'm a big reader 📖

I have a particular interest in Classical Eastern Literature and have read things like the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, the Valmiki Ramayana, Journey to the West etc. I'm a big fan of classics in general, my favorite book of all time is the Count of Monte Cristo

I also have been getting into classical SciFi, been reading a lot of PKD and some Dan Simmons and Kurt Vonnegut and it's been really enjoyable so far.

🩵 I'm a programmer

I can do fullstack web development from html to nginx and work mostly within the dotnet ecosystem.

🩵 I'm a nerd en général

I love learning things. My first love is the sciences, I went to college for chemistry. I would love to have time to improve my terrible math skills and pick up Korean as a another language, and want to level up my world history especially with regards to Africa and Southeast Asia both of which I am fairly unacquainted with.

You can talk to me about productivity systems, desk setups, fountain pens, video games, and other weird nerd things.

🩵 I want to travel

I've never left the US and one day would love to get to see more of the world.

🩵 I do some amateur writing

I enjoy making my lil erotica mini stories here, and also sometimes in my freetime plan out silly novels and short stories never to be published but just for fun.

💚 I think I'll end things here for now, there's definitely more to me but that should be an effective enough primer. If you made it this far and havent dm'd me...wtf is wrong with you?? We're basically already friends now? 😘

[lovejosephquinn]

Just and idea maybe you can elaborate on, imagine you and Joe broke up over idk what but he’s coming over to your apartment for his stuff and you do revenge makeup/outfit.One thing leads to another you end up in bed together and while he’s thinking things have gone back to normal and he’s taken back at the end you get yourself together hand him his box and say bye leaving him a little shocked

I'm not good at angst but I will give it a go, maybe it's time to break some hearts if it's good enough!!

Tysm for your request 💛 Under 18's DNI.

Word Count: 3k

Tagging the people that replied to my post: @itsfreakingbats @lma1986 @shawnamae87 @whoscamila @josephfakingquinn @joequinnisgod

It's true, everything had gone to shit since the day you and Joe ended things. It was all over a drunken kiss he'd had which spread like wildfire across the internet which you caught wind of pretty quickly. He admitted his wrongs when you'd asked and you told him you couldn't trust him, more or less down to the fact that he didn't tell you as soon as it'd happened. To which this broke your heart to have to see it the way you did, ending everything was hard because as much as it didn't seem that way; he was the greatest and best relationship you'd ever had.

It'd been a couple of weeks since Joe moved out of the flat you shared together, you'd felt sick to your stomach when you received contact from him for the first time since you broke up when he asked when he could come and collect the rest of his stuff. You'd arranged for him to come over this afternoon with every intention of not being there when he did so it hurt less and then just to lock the door behind him and repost the key through the letterbox. Yet something inside of you screamed for you to be there, to see his face when you opened the door, to muster the fakest smile to show him that you were ok. You were not.

You decided after pondering on whether to stay looking like you'd been dragged through a hedge backwards or whether you should make yourself look good, a show him what he's missing type of look. Going with the second option was a moment of spite on your part, but it'd feel good to see his jaw drop when you were up on your high horse. Sliding into your favourite jeans, a meshy long sleeved top which was highly revealing to the black bra underneath, you curled your hair and put on minimal to enough make up, spritzing yourself with your favourite perfume to finish the completed look, there was a knock at the door shortly after.

The entirety of your organs felt like they were going to regurgitate out of your mouth when you heard the sound coming from the front door. Your eyes immediately watering, your heart racing and a vile sense of nausea punching it's way through your stomach. You thought for a second if it was a good idea to just pretend you weren't in and have him come back another day, but then who'd see how good you'd made yourself look for nothing; putting on a brave face you sauntered to the door, unlocked it and swung it open.

"Hi oh-" Joe paused, scanning you up and down, a bag firmly clutched in his hands which he'd brought to collect his stuff.

"Hello." You bluntly replied, watching his eyes practically undress you.

"You look-" He sighed.

"I look?" You tilted your head to the side, folding your arms to bring attention to your revealing chest.

"Beautiful." Joe's eyes immediately fell to the ground and in that very second you just wanted to wrap your arms around him and cry. But you weren't letting go of what he'd done to ruin what you had and you had to remember that he was unfortunately still the one in the wrong and it was time to move on.

"Your stuffs on the sofa in a box, I got it all ready for you." You'd not given him entirely everything that belonged to him in the flat, you'd hid one of his sweaters in the back of your wardrobe for safe keeping; you know for if you ever missed him then at least you had somewhat of a piece of him to cuddle late at night. Eventually you hoped that feeling would be gone and you could just burn it, but it was still early days and seeing him right now was a contributing factor that you were not ready to get over this man.

"Oh, thank you." You gestured for him to come through and he walked by you, looking around the flat, chasing all the memories that flooded the walls of times you'd shared together.

"Looks good in here, you cleaned it up nicely." Joe's eyes were firmly back on you, the sparkle in them gleamed from the water cursing his eye lids.

"Yeah I-"

"I miss you." Joe interrupted abruptly, he just had to throw that one statement in there to get you sweating and oh boy did it.

"You made the choice to do what you did." You were seething, why in the world would he mutter those 3 delicate words at you that now have you wanting the ground to swallow you up.

"And I regret it everyday. Can't you just give me one more chance Y/N? I can't be without you. I'm not doing good, I'm not happy. I'm in a dark place without you by my side and I need you." Sniffles sounded from Joe's nose as tears finally made their way down his cheeks.

You stepped up to take a look at him, scanning him just as he had you, he did in fact look like shit, he'd grown his beard out, not taken care of his messy curls, looking like he'd just gotten out of bed. It was 3pm and this wasn't like Joe to look so out of it. Maybe he really did regret it, but was it a mistake? Or was it purely a purposeful need to kiss somebody else because he wanted to. You'll never know the truth because you weren't there when it happened, but you know it did so that was enough for you.

"Prove it." Joe's eyes grew, the chocolatey gaze which normally looked so warm and welcoming was darker than usual, two black hole's of doubt and misery stood before you.

Joe cupped your cheek with his hand, bringing his lips down to kiss you delicately, slowly and quickly, enough to pull back just so that he could test the waters to see if that's what you meant. You were heading into dangerous territory kissing him back, especially when he pulled away and you reached up immediately, wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him down to gain a deeper contact.

Joe's arms wrapped around the small of your back, pressing you against him, not letting go of what once was his, claiming what he could to try and make it all better. Your mind was running in circles, ten to the dozen trying to fathom why you were stood in the middle of your living room making out with your ex boyfriend, but your words had misconstrued the situation and had developed into something that should probably not have happened. But your evil and wicked broken heart was now searching for something further, something to break him, something to give him a taste of his own medicine. Would that make you the worse person? maybe, but you didn't particularly care.

You were brought back down to reality when his tongue made it's way into your mouth, gasping for air you quickly embraced the feeling of his muscle writhing around yours. The familiar feeling of his erection pressing up against your thigh was a welcomed one and the pit of your stomach was no longer feeling sick, but ridiculously turned on, bolts of electricity were being sent to your core and you were relishing the pleasantness of it; purely because you'd not felt this good about yourself or anything else in weeks. You pulled away, a breathless mess, panting inches away from his lips as Joe took a large unsatisfactory gulp of nerves.

"Is- is that what you meant?" Joe whispered.

You nodded slowly, not even registering that your head was moving without your body telling you too. Taking a hold of his hand and leading him to the sofa, pushing him down so he fell flat onto it, you climbed onto him, straddling his thighs, rubbing your hands up and down his chest and taking a heavy sigh before leaning over to his ear and replying "fuck me like it's the last time."

You didn't even get to the last word before Joe flipped you to lay down on the sofa, picking you up and putting you down like you were a rag doll, launching you right where he wanted you, unbuttoning your jeans and pushing them down your legs, throwing them over his shoulder abandoned and unwanted. Your body writhed as you felt his hands feel every ounce of naked skin touch you so beautifully, so careful to observe every part of you that was within his sights.

Joe moved himself into position between your spread legs, licking a stripe up your pretty panties before his eyes shot up to witness the whimper falling out of your mouth. "Yeah baby, is this what you want?" Baby. That word made you instantly feel sick again, but you quickly wavered it off with a nod and a small mhm to answer his question.

Pulling your underwear to the side, Joe dug in, not wasting a second in tasting your cunt, sucking rapidly against your swelling clit, spitting onto your hole so that he could gain better access to shove two fingers inside of you, flickering his tongue against the part of you aching most, kissing his soft lips against it, his free hand gripped to your thigh making small indents into your skin, keeping you in place, holding you like his life depended on it.

"Yes oh my god Joe- just like that." You arched your back, everything about what you were doing was so wrong but felt so right and he loathed the fact you were into it, pushing his face in deeper when your hands came down to tighten against his hair, rocking your hips over and over to create a rhythm that was pushing you further and further to the brink of release. His finger's felt so good inside of you, hitting all the right spots and pushing against your walls so skilfully, curling up just to where you liked it, hitting your sweet spot. Joe knew you inside and out, he knew what you craved and he knew what you weren't so fussed on and that was the irritating notion that you held deep inside of you, the fact he still had this hold on you.

Your orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks, you saw stars, you had flashbacks of all the times you and Joe and shared intimate moments like this, tears sprouted out of your eyes, every emotion that was both beautiful and sinister was revealed. Your body jolted through the release, giving you a sense of fulfilment but also a disgusting realisation that this would never happen again.

Joe got up, wiping his mouth, his eyes magnetised to yours, watching the way you looked both happy and sad.

"You always tasted so beautiful too." Joe cooed lowly.

You bit your lip, washing away as quick as you could the deflated feeling as a way of getting Joe to continue his actions. Joe stood up before you, unbuttoning his trousers, taking down his boxers with them and letting them fall to the ground. Removing his creased up t-shirt and bringing himself back to his previous position, he cages himself above you, leaning on one elbow, you look down to watch his hand jerk his cock a couple of times, bringing your sights back up to see his features that are burning with desire.

"Fuck me Joe, hard." You almost say it like it's an order and Joe immediately complies. He pushes every inch inside of you, not even waiting to adjust before he thrusts at an erratic pace. His hips slam down on to you, his balls slap against your ass. Moans are flying in every single direction from the both of you. Your slick and his saliva from previously eating you out like a ravenous animal helped quicken the pace, he was railing you like he didn't care, like he hated you, giving you everything he could. He knew he wasn't going to last long from the way he was going, but he'd savour every second.

"You take me so well love, you always have. Oh my-" Joe screeched an exhale, lifting himself and pulling your legs to his shoulders, his hands gripping against your legs as he took a few more intense thrusts against you. Your hand fell to your clit, rubbing it in fast circular motions, wanting nothing more than to feel that release just one last time. Joe's eyes watched your movements and his head instantly fell back, his eyes rolling into the back of his head, his mouth dropping open so wide it could of caught flies.

"Shit, yes. You're so tight." Joe managed, bringing himself back down and kissing your neck, his tongue tingled from your perfume, the scent firmly moulded into his muscle and seeping into his taste buds. "Fuck I'm gonna-" You came in unison, milking him for all he was worth whilst your slick dripped out onto the sofa, he fell on top of you, his lungs burning for oxygen.

"Joe, you're crushing me." You uttered out loud, you were enjoying the weight of him on you, not wanting it to end but seemingly the deed was done and what was left?

"S-sorry." Joe pulled out and immediately took himself the few steps to the bathroom to clean up before coming out and getting dressed. You were already sat back up right on the sofa, fully clothed when he got back to you.

Joe eyed the box of his stuff that he'd not previously spotted, the reality of what he'd actually came for dawned upon him. He sat by your side, staring at you intently whilst you kept your eyes to your twiddling thumbs.

"That was amazing." Joe said.

"Yeah it was." You replied, you couldn't deny the fact. It shouldn't of happened, but your mother taught you that everything happens for a reason and this was revenge wasn't it? This was to get back at him, to crush him just as he had you.

"Surely this meant something, surely this isn't-"

"That was the last time." You continued to stare to the floor, but your peripheral vision could witness everything that Joe's emotions showed. His eyes grew cold, his body stiffened, his hand in mid air which had just gone to place itself on top of yours stood still.

"It can't be, our connection it's too strong, you know it is. Please I'm begging you, take me back, I can't live without you baby." Joe came back to life, previously feeling paralyzed to your words, his hand rested on top of yours and you immediately shook him off.

"It's over Joe, get your stuff and go." What a coward, what an idiot you were. Fucking your ex and then letting him off like that. Your intentions were thorough and you'd stuck to your guns which you were proud of, but you could almost pin point the moment you heard Joe's heart smash into smithereens.

"I can't-"

"I said, go." You looked up as Joe stood up to grab the box, not taking a second look back at you as he left his key on the coffee table as you asked, swiftly exiting and leaving you alone.

Why was your heart so full of regret? Why didn't you tell him not to go and to prove himself further? You knew yourself there was no getting over him anytime soon and doing what you'd done had just made it worse. You grabbed your phone, looking at the name in his contacts through fogged up lenses, you couldn't see shit for the tears which eluded your vision. You fell to the floor, shaking and cold, a mess. Right back where you started. You clicked the call button all of 15 minutes after, to which you were brought to an even more shocking detail when the phone didn't even ring, it instead beeped and cut the call off. Joe had blocked your number, he had done you a favour, stopping himself from being tempted to contact you. You'd truly lost him just as he'd lost you. But why did it hurt so bad?

Because you loved him, you always would.