#idk what the proper warning thing is but i feel like i should let yall know

[mythiccheroacademia]

Hey!! Could we please get more sugar daddy fics with a black reader ofc 😋 idk if you've done shoto already but that'd be nice or hawks and deku💕

A/N: “wrist on glitter, waist on thinner, imma show you how to bag a eight-figure nigga” 👅💋 I enjoyed this way too much

All characters are 18+

Warnings: it got a lil spicy so imma put the line 

Todoroki Shouto:

this mf has money to burn 

we all know todoroki came out the womb w cash from his hair to his ass 

he’s on some “yes, jeff bezos knows me” type shit so if you’re tryna end up with someone that’s gonna possibly buy you a house, he’s your guy 

he slid into your dms after you posted a pic with your skin moisturized and glistening under golden hour and your body had him wanting to run laps 

he had been plottin on you for a min but never got the motivation to do something about it until then

he’s a no strings attached type of sugar daddy

todoroki is a big name even outside of hero work and he’s well aware of all the people that have tried to use him. so instead of letting that happen, he’s decided to do things on his own terms 

when yall first started talking, he questioned you like this was managerial position at apple 💀 

best believe he ran an in-depth background check and made you sign an NDA 💀💀💀

he was a tough one

but you passed w flying colors and y’all settled on an arrangement

you have a weekly allowance that hits your bank account every saturday with some bonuses that he’ll give you depending on how the week goes

todoroki isnt needy nor is he one to be all up in your business 

it’s actually weird in an endearing kind of way? 

he only wants to have conversations with you 

i mean, dont get me wrong, he’s up for anything you are

todoroki would be a liar if he said he never ended some nights with a picture of you and a hand down his pants 

but that’s not what he’s mainly looking for 

you figure out very quickly that shouto just wants someone to talk to 

he’ll randomly hit up your phone and have a 30 min convo about something like the weather or hero politics, and then he’ll dip

next thing you know, you got $1000 in your cashapp

you kind of panicked bc like...wtf? 

your dumb ass messaged him: “did you mean to send $1000?”

sis, dont put a question mark where God put a period

him: “Yes.”

and that was the end of that

you dont question anymore

he’s not doting in any kind of way, and sometimes you lowkey think he forgets about you, but you still get your allowance 

doesn’t send a lot of gifts unless you explicitly state you want something

he doesnt text back a lot, but he tried to respond when he can

but i do see him liking it when you send him mundane things you do throughout your day, like pics of cookies you baked, or a cool plant you saw at home depot

and he enjoys the times you and him end up just trashing his father for nearly an hour. expect to find flowers, with some expensive ass coats or something at your door the next morning 

he really fucks w your laid back vibe 

sometimes he forgets you guys arent really supposed to be friends 

Takami Kiego (Hawks):

this is not hawks’ first time being a sugar daddy

he’s hot, rich, and one of the most eligible bachelor’s in japan with a life that prevents him from having anything too serious

so, long story short, he’s a veteran at this 

he used to be the type to reach out to instagram baddies but he had a couple bad run-ins and decided to stick with the official sites because it was a lot more secure on both ends 

the funny thing was, you set up your account a long time ago as a joke. though at one point, you did take it seriously, but you came in contact with a lot of super creepy men that sexualized you for your skin and ethnicity. 

you were tired of the “chocolate king/queen” and “amazonian god/dess” comments,so you took a break. you didnt have much activity since

so imagine youre surprise when the #2 hero hit your line talking about some 

“Hey~ I’ll get straight to the point. I think you’re beautiful and I’d like to talk with you about an arrangement” 

you thought this was a fake account, but after he chatting for a little and sending some pictures, you knew he was the real deal 

hawks is your standard tit-for-tat transaction sugar daddy

he’s the type to hit you up at night with a “how ya doing, dove? got any pics for me?”

he’s good about his respect ad won’t do anything out of line

it’s the bare minimum, be he doesnt fetishize you so that’s always nice 

however, he does make you call him daddy, sir, etc. whether it’s through text, call, or when y’all get together for...reasons

ngl his dicc game is fire

he might ghost you for a week or so but he’ll always come back with a nice check to make up for it 

just be careful about catching feelings bc he’s so fucking smooth. he makes you feel like you’ve got his heart, but dont fall for that shit

if you think you can “change him” or fuflfil whatever wattpad romance fantasy lives in your head, he is not your guy. you better get on w your life before you get your heart broken

he’s here to suck, fuck, send pics, do a little phone call here n there, send some money, and go 

if you’re not with all that, you might as well dip 

but if you’re cool with that, rest assured, you’re gonna be living your best mf life with this man in your wallet 

and good news, you might not be his only, but you are his favorite

there’s just something about you that’s got him giving you a few extra thousand than he normally does 

he doesnt take his sugar babies on proper dates bc he’s gotta stay away from media outlets, but he will invite you to his office for a “lunch break”

if you ever surprise him with a cute but sexy hawks cosplay, you won’t have to work for two whole weeks bc you cant walk  

overall, he’s a good sugar daddy. defintely good for your pockets and any other non-romantic desires you want fulfilled

Mirodirya Izuku:  

the way you two met and came to this arrangement was more or less an accident

the life of the number one pro-hero was lonely and stressful 

he’s tried to dip his toes in the water here and there, but it never worked out because not many people could deal with the fact that he’d always put hero work first

he was teetering on the edge of signing up for one of those sugar daddy/baby websites until he met you at some cafe he passed by 

it’s cliche really. you were his server and, honestly? he was hooked on day one 

he watched you intently as you pranced around in your cute uniform. he couldnt stop admiring your brown skin and eyes and how cute your hair was. you spoke with such enthusiasm and cheerfulness that he couldnt help but swoon. and it didn’t hurt that you were very easy on the eyes

he listened to you as you went on a spiel about how college was a fortune and how you stayed up last night for a project bc you had to pick up extra shifts

that’s when he made his decision

by the time the hero is out of the door, you collected the reciept and almost fainted when you realized he left you a $500 tip and his personal number 

“i enjoyed talking to you today and i hope we can continue that...here’s something small to help with your bills. and i hope this isnt too forward but you’re very beautiful. stay safe. deku.”

and what did you do that night?

you called his ass right back

you were nervous as hell bc you still couldnt believe this was real, but after talking on the phone with him for two hours, an arrangement was set

midoriya is the most gentlemen like sugar daddy out there 

you wake up to good morning texts and a few hundred in your bank account almost every two days 

he goes crazy over your insta posts. and if you wear something green? expect a bonus

takes you out shopping unprovoked 

izuku: “are you busy? i saw you were having a rough week and was wondering if you wanted to go to that new outlet mall downtown”

you: 🏃🏾‍♀️💨  

you most certainly had homework due that night but what tf you look like missing out on that offer? 

it’s after so many “dates” that deku realizes that he prefers hanging around you more than he should but he doesnt wanna ruin anything so he keeps that underwraps 

he’s the idiot that goes into this thinking he won’t fall in love

deku defintely has some dirty thoughts about you but he doesnt try to bring it up unless you do first

if you’re comfortable with anything nsfw, you gone see a whole different side to izuku

he’s a giver, giver, giver, but when he recieves, he just about loses it

send him “innocent” pics of yourself matched with a string of filthy texts and he’ll combust 

when you send him pics of yourself in deku-themed lingre, he deadass sends you a whole black card with your name on it as a thank you

you guys get very comfortable with each other very quickly

soon enough, DA’s start turning into y/n stayng over for a week 

you both realize this relatiosnhip runs a lot deeper than an arrangement when he accidentally let it slip that he told his mom about you 

he’s profusely apologizing but you shut him up with a kiss and tell him that you’ve kinda caught feelings yourself 

your next conversation works out well for the both of you 

[settersloveletters]

NO. 1 FAN

• part sixteen; just endurance training

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⤷ y/n will always go out of her way for her family, especially for her 7 year old niece, who happens to be kageyama tobio’s number one fan. what happens when the charming sweetheart, y/n, meets the emotionally null, kageyama tobio? and what happens when those two fall in love at first sight?

a/n: its here.. ENDING is ambiguous. ill leave it up to those big imaginations yall have 🧠 hahaha. IDK IF THIS IS TOO OOC. whatever ill justify it by saying “adult kags is mature and horny and knows what hes dooing hahsjej. also likes to dirty talk im sure of it 🤗🤩😋

[!] under is written smut which is not important to the story, sorta, kinda [!]

➳ word count: 1.5k

➳ warnings: smut, but nothing too crazy; hand job, praise kink (kageyama recieving), cum eating?! is there a proper word for that lool

Wow, he’s really hot. Not that that’s new news, but here he is, in your small living room, freshly showered with damp hair in the comfiest loungewear. After all the commotion -- trying to fix the car only to decide on letting him sleepover, setting up a comfortable sleeping place for him, and of course, not trying to embarrass yourself on countless occasions -- you two now rest.

“Hey, wanna watch something?” you suggest as the two of you sit on the couch, a TV perched on the cabinet across from you. Even though you two sit at least three feet apart, you feel his body heat emanating and he hears your heart beating a mile a minute. It’s weird, you two are usually so normal and casual, able to converse and talk, but why is it so different right now.

“Sure, you can choose.”

“Romcom? Oh, or maybe this documentary. Wait no, I actually like this movie,” indecisively you scroll through the library of movies. “That one,” Kageyama says in such an alluring tone that has your finger slipping, the chosen movie is now beginning.

Minutes in, it might be your mind playing games, but the distance between you has become smaller and smaller, and before you know it your hips are touching. You feel every rise of his chest when he breathes and he feels every time you jump or squirm against him. And to be honest, the movie is getting deathly boring when your eyes would much rather feast upon the man beside you, his toned arms and big hands. You’re almost so tempted to touch them, compare them to your own, interlock both your fingers.

“Are you even watching the movie?” Kageyama scoffs, and when you get a better look at his face, you see the small rosy tinge that covers his cheeks. “Yes, I am. Are you?” leaning into him even further, your body acts before your mind can think. You give him a peck on his cheek. It’s not like you two have never kissed before, but this feels new, fresh, exhilarating.

“I am, for your information. Unlike you, staring at me like you’re the predator and I’m the prey,” he looks you dead in the eyes, deep blue engulfing you. He’s letting you know the nature of the relationship; he is no prey.

Gently grabbing the back of your neck, Kageyama pulls you into a kiss, lips touching and sending pleasurable jolts across your body. The distant movie playing has drowned out in the background as your heavy breathing and heartbeats fill the room. You even let out the tiniest of whimpers that shoot straight down to his cock. His other hand begins to wander, until it settles around the small of your waist, pulling you up onto his lap.

You two spend an eternity, his touch constantly rubbing along your body, your fingers twirling around his hair, and your lips and tongues dancing with each other. With your legs straddling his, you don’t shy away from giving an experimental grind against his clothed erection.

“Hm,” his moan is muffled in your interlocked lips. You pull off, looking him in his eyes, all clouded and gasping for air. There’s something tantalizing about the thought of being the one to seduce Japan’s top young athlete. Seeing the young star in front of you, lips red and swollen from all the kissing and almost begging to be touched. It has you quivering at the knees. This is Kageyama Tobio..

“Ha, I didn’t think you’d.. Baby, let’s take it slow, yeah?” you tell him, slipping the cute pet name in which has him pulling you in closer to him.

“Of course. To be honest, I don’t know how much of you I can handle at once,” he looks down at you, jabbing at your usual boldness and forwardness. You can tell he’s nervous. “I should be saying that to you,” you sigh, hands grabbing onto the formed tent in his sweatpants that has you too excited. He’s big.

“So, why don’t we just touch today,” you give him a reassuring smile, giving his cock another squeeze that has him moaning aloud again. Kageyama just simply looks at you and gives a nod in response. He’s embarrassed at his own voice, but to you, it sounds like heaven. You don’t hesitate in lowering the waistband of his pants and boxers, letting the heat of his cock expose itself. Looking at it has you biting your lower lip and shifting in his lap. You wrap your hands around his girth, feeling heavy in your hands as the thick veins tickle the pads of your fingers. You stroke his shaft, listening to the way he audibly gasps and groans under your ministrations. Your fingertip rubs along the head, picking up the drop of precum, allowing you to give him a more satisfying jerk.

“Do that, that felt good,” he breaths out. You pick up the repetitive motions as you feel the surface of his cock heating up, and the unsuppressed sounds spilling from his mouth. The sweet clicks of your strokes has you desperate for more, desperate to pleasure him more. Boldly, you spit onto the head of cock, slicking him up and quickening the pace. Kageyama lets out a needy noise that has your insides trembling and panties uncomfortably wet.

He likes the attention, you know it. He loves being able to openly receive this love from you, no matter how foreign or new it is to him. This thrill Kageyama feels has him aching for more. His hands grasp onto the legs that sit on his lap, squeezing the soft exposed flesh of your skin. His mind goes wild imagining what lies beneath those tight shorts you purposely wore to seduce him, what you’d look like all exposed just for him. He’s not usually this dirty minded, but you’ve always managed to pull out the craziest things from him.

“What are you thinking about, baby?” you ask with your innocent and calming voice, totally contrasting the lewd hands that continue to rub at his cock.

“I’m thinking about a lot of things..”

“Like what my panties look like?”

You will be the death of him, he swears. Before he can even respond or react, you’re already removing your shorts, showing him the delicate black fabric underneath that leaves oh so little to the imagination. Kageyama is brazen and confident on the court, but in the intimacy of right now, you have to be in control of the game. Straddling him again, you continue where you left off, bringing him closer to his release with your hand, kissing along his jaw and neck. “I won’t leave marks, don’t worry.”

“I don’t mind,” he manages to say through his pants. Without hesitation, you leave the tiniest mark on the side of his neck. The thought of tainting his perfect skin has you moaning against him, only egging him further to completion. His cock twitches in your hands, which has you stroking him faster.

“C’mon baby, you can cum anytime. You’ve been so good to me,” praising him, Kageyama looks directly into your eyes, face gone red, eyes hooded with uncontrollable lust as he groans aloud at your words. He likes it. “You’re so hot, baby. Cock’s so hard just for me,” his breathing gets heavier. “Gonna cum soon? Do it. Be good and cum all o-” He suddenly grabs both your wrists in his hand, stopping you from doing or saying anything else.

“Get on your fucking knees.”

You weren’t expecting that at all, which has you smirking and doing exactly what he says. Getting off his lap, you settle on the ground in front of him. You watch Kageyama intently as he stands right in front of you, cock in his dominant hand. He rubs himself, shallow jerks near the head of his big cock, with his other hand resting itself at the back of your head.

“I’m about to.. Can I?” his gasps get louder as he reaches the brink of climax. You stick your tongue out, a nice distance away from him, willing to accept all the love he has to offer. You admire the way his cock stills, and with a moan that has you throbbing, spurts of his cum land in your mouth. White ropes paint your tongue and face as Kageyama looks down at you, gasping for breath. You swallow his seed, all while never breaking your eye contact.

The movie has been long done, leaving you two alone in the now quiet room. Your thighs rub together, still in need for his touch even though he looks utterly exhausted. “You wanna sleep now, baby?” you simply say as he pulls his pants up, adjusting his now softening cock. Kageyama grabs a small cloth from his bag and begins wiping your face clean.

“No,” he discards the cloth and picks you up bridal style, walking you two to your bedroom. “It’s not that late. And, I still think I have a lot to learn..”

“Don’t you have practice tomorrow morning?”

“This is just endurance training.”

- TAGLIST -

@anhphunnnn | @adamarvv | @asahiswaifu | @fangirling-25-8 | @kei-kui | @lilacshouko | @smol-enbybackup | @gyubit17 | @renee1414 | @denkiwenki | @xanaxdeity | @cuddlesslut | @nikkipea | @lovemesomehwa | @muiyuuuu | @oikawalmart-hq | @mirdy47707 | @lumiriai | @notamazinglizzy | @starwrite-er | @dearkags | @hamsterfan17 | @sugawsites | @anime-simp | @singleandlonely | @levisackerwoman | @cactuski6 | @kingkagss | @gentlechainsaws | @h0wab0utw3d0ntd0that | @prettymuchboo | @highlyanxiousintroverted | @anna-pcy21 | @sweetlysugawara | @yqshirov | @kingkags | @marifujioka | @luna-barnes14 | @musekala | @thechaosoflonging | @oikawasphlatass | @tremendousglitterthing | @kathya420 | @daninaninani | @maii-flowers | @akakuzumo | @tycrackculture | @gaychemicalwater | @mariachiii | @kiyoomile | @jaxneedshelp | @xs-hoodie | @preparingtofall |

(taglist continues in the replies!!)

[willowistic22]

Red (Redfinch)

Despite their breakup, Albert still wanted to go see Finch perform in one of his concerts when Race asked him if he wanted to come. This is the perfect chance for them to talk things out again but words aren’t cooperating for either of them. With that, Finch decides to triy a different form of communication.

Words : 5233

Part : -

Warnings : Alcohol, cursing, cigarettes, angst in general

A/N : Woah that’s a crazy word count uhh,,,, hi i’m back with another fic. Another redfinch and for that we stan lol (well idk maybe yall are annoyed by all these redfinch fics but yknow what? i’m thriving off of it) But fr I’ll eventually get into writing other ships but for now have one more redfinch combined with another tswift songs (as you do) this time with Red. Wow we are so surprised who would have thought of redfinch being associated with the song red no we aren’t surprise :D This one specifically exists in my bandsies au. you don’t need to read that first to understand this (i think?) but it wouldn’t hurt if you checked that out as well:) Tbh i can’t decide whether i love it or hate it but at least i like it enough to post it. N ee wayysss enjoy!!

His brain is screaming about how much Albert shouldn’t be doing this. Comprising a list of cons that goes on forever. And although he thinks all of the cons his brain had written is logical, that one pro his heart wrote beside the long list was all it took for Al to say yes. All the cons will be worth suffering through if he finally gets to see Finch again. And maybe it’s for the better since he’s not doing well by distancing himself from the boy.

Unfortunately, the world isn’t black and white. Meaning that even if he did choose to follow what his heart wants, all the horrible feelings will still be there. And with every step he takes, inching closer to the entrance of the building, he’s getting even more terrified by the second. Thankfully, the line for the entrance is going pretty slow which gives time for Albert to calm down.

But it’s not helping. The line is crowded and full of fans, talking excitedly about the band’s awaiting concert inside. For some odd reason, he can only hear the conversations between fans that contain one specific name. He doesn’t hear anyone mentioning Romeo, Elmer, or Jojo’s name. Not even Crutchie, who he’s been told to be the fans’ favorite. Just the name Finch, being repeated all around him. With adoration and excitement lacing the name. The line is delaying the inevitable and the people around him makes him a bit overwhelmed.

“We can still turn around if you want. I’m sure they’ll find a way to give us a refund”

If he’s actually being honest, it was his best friend that got him to come. Race returned to their shared apartment a few weeks ago and rushed to ask Albert if he wanted to go see their friends performing tonight. Race knows about Al and Finch’s break up but it’s worth asking him first. And to his surprise, he said yes.

“No, it’s fine” Albert replied, “I’m fine”

“You’re picking your pimples right now”

“So?”

“It’s one of your nervous habits”

That piece of information really caught Al off guard. He didn’t think a tiny random fact about himself would actually corner him the way Race is doing now. Eyeing Albert through his glasses and raising his eyebrows despite his forehead being mostly covered by his beanie.

“Well… I-” Albert tried to come up with bullshit as fast as he could, “I like to do it on purpose too, alright?! My fingers just... get a little itchy!”

He slowly puts his hands down from previously reaching up to pick his face. And the line is still going slow, one step at a time. It’s not doing any favors for Al.

“Dude, it’s alright if you’re not ready to see him” Race continued, “It takes time, I get it”

“Race, I’ll be fine! How many more times do I have to tell you?” Albert argued, which finally made Race back down. And to make sure it’s no longer gonna be brought up, Al changes the subject, “By the way, where’s Specs and Mike? You said they’re watching too”

“They’re already backstage with the others for...  obvious reasons” Race answered casually, catching on to Albert's intentions to change the subject. “So is Kath, by the way. We’ll meet her in there though”

To that, Albert simply nods. His jittery movements turn into rocking his body on the ball of his feet while digging his lips with his teeth. Race tries to pretend he doesn’t notice, but he does. Albert knows he does. Although he’s glad he’s not bringing it up because it might make it worse.

He’d be lucky to know that he’s not the only one panicking over this. In the dressing room, an aggravated Finch throws his phone to the cushion of the couch after sending the last text to his friend Race. It sounds unlawful for Race to be ‘secretly updating’ Finch on how Albert is actually doing because it’s obviously something Albert doesn’t want to directly tell his ex.

Finch groans, placing his elbow on his armchair to support his head. The room is spinning in his view and he wishes it all to stop. Taking deep and long breaths to stabilize his shaky limbs. A little prayer starts playing in his heart, it follows the tempo of his fast heartbeat.

“He’s here, isn’t he?”

Finch opens his eyes and looks up to meet his bandmate sitting on the couch across from him. He hadn’t even been talking for a good hour because he’s too fixated with the first text Race sent him when he and Al first started making their way to the concert.

“Yeah, he’s in line” Finch replied, looking up to the blond boy who’s holding his bass.

“How are they not being mobbed?” Another voice rang. This time it’s not coming from one of Finch’s bandmates. It’s coming from Race and Albert’s bandmate, sitting next to the shortest member of Finch’s band on the couch.

Specs only ask that because their two bands have a long connecting history and their fanbase tends to be sort of the same in a way. With Specs dating Romeo and Mike dating Jojo, Race and Albert are bound to be recognized and mobbed by at least a few fans. Especially seeing that Albert is Finch’s former lover, although the fans know that as a rumor since the two never publicly addressed it.

“I’m assuming they’re wearing a lot of shit to cover their faces” Another answered, the other VIP of the show alongside Specs, Mike. He’s twirling his drink in his hand while the other keeps Jojo cuddled close to him, “I mean, Al’s head is really fucking bright!”

With the mention of that specific name, Finch sulks back in his armchair with a groan. He covers his face with his hands, hoping it’d make the world just stop for one second. He could hear a loud clean slap echoing the room, followed by overlaps of whispered scolding. If he had to guess, it was Mike who was the one getting slapped and scolded.

“This is a disaster…” Finch exclaimed to himself, still not lifting his face up.

“It doesn’t have to be unless you make it like that” this time a feminine voice spoke up. A voice he recognized to belong to Kath.

Finch hears footsteps approaching him. He feels the motion of someone softly kneeling down in front of him. His hands were gently pried open and he was met with Kath’s friendly smile.

“It takes time, but you gotta trust the process”

It’s not necessarily the words he needed to hear right now, but it still warms his heart to hear his friend still being there for him despite the sticky situation he has gotten them into.

Everything would’ve been just fine if Finch hadn’t been so pushy and upset over Albert’s decision. He was the one that decided to put his music career on hold to go get that engineering degree, which frankly seems pretty useless. Finch was so dirty for pulling the ‘you’re being selfish’ card at him when it’s not even his band at all. Race, Specs, Mike, Ike, and even their manager Denton were very supportive about his decision to get that degree. Heck, all their friends were! But not Finch. His boyfriend at the time. He argued like he secretly knew how the others felt about Al leaving when really there aren’t any secret feelings for him to know. All his arguments came from his own feelings.

However, he knows Albert’s ‘own decision’ was secretly coated by his father’s persuasive words. The whole ‘just in case the music career doesn’t work out’ argument was basically the copy and pasted words from his father. They both know it. Despite the arguments, it still seemed that Al was determined to fully focus on college anyways. Instead of following his fellow musician friends’ college path by getting a degree in the non-lecture-hall way, he followed his father’s words and actually attended his college classes in a proper campus.

In the moment, Finch was just too focused on Albert leaving. Maybe he was the one being selfish. He had only realize now that most of his arguments were because he didn’t want Albert to go. It’s too late now, since the last time they saw each other was when Al slammed the door of their apartment one last time with all his stuff and a plane ticket to Seattle. At that point, Finch was finally tired of all the arguing and told him that if this was his plan then he’s on his own.

The tears that came after were filled with sorrow and regret. Sorrowful because he missed him. Regretful because he only realized then that there was no valid reason for Finch to lash out in the first place other than for his own needs. The feeling is still present to this moment. And it’s currently the strongest right before a show because he knows he’s gonna be in the crowd.

“Look, we’ll let ya drown out your feelings with some booze later” Crutchie finally said, “But right now we got a show”

The band was all getting up from where they were seated, bringing whatever they needed to the stage. Crutchie gets some help from Jojo to bring his Bass till he properly sits on the stool on stage. But Finch stays perfectly still, holding Kath’s hand as if his life depends on it.

“I know I should talk to ‘im, Kath” Finch finally said, slowly joining the others in standing up. Kathrine follows along, eyes still fixed to her friend, “But… I can’t. I wouldn’t know what to say to him”

“Then don’t talk” Mike suddenly inserts himself in their little conversation. He gets up and approaches the two, “Sing him the new single”

“You’re fucking insane, Mike!” Katherine instantly snapped.

“Alright, your mouth will be legally sealed shut till the end of the concert” Specs joins them only to drag Mike away. There were some protests from the boy, but it was totally shut down by everyone else in the room.

“No, wait. He’s got a point” Finch suddenly exclaimed, which quickly got the whole room to freeze in time.

He looks at his bandmates, all standing by the doorway ready to kill the concert. A half confident smile appears on his face and he says, “Let’s sing that single”

-

The concert is held in a bar like-venue with multiple floors, slowly being filled to the brim by excited fans. Their excitement bounces off the walls of the venue, creating an ecstatic kind of environment despite the tight space. The concert is going to start any minute now and while the fans surrounding him are shaking in excitement, Albert is shaking in a nervous fit.

“Still okay there, Al?”

Albert looked to his side, seeing his good friend Kathrine looking up to meet his eyes with concern. She had just joined the boys in the midst of the crowd after hanging out behind the stage with the band.

“What? Yeah, I’m okay” He replied, “What makes you think I’m not?”

“You’re squeezing my hand a little too tight”

Al had only realized he’s been holding Kath’s hand just now. His brain was too focused on his fears about meeting Finch again to the point that he hasn’t been paying attention to his surroundings. He gets bashful all of a sudden, cheeks going a bit warm, harshly pulling away from her grasp.

“It’s okay, you can hold my hand if you want,” Katherine said gently.

“Kath, I’m fine!” Albert said, “Why won’t you and Race believe me?”

“Because we know it’s utter bullshit”

The pair looked back towards the crowd behind them where the familiar voice originated from. There, Race struggles through a sea of people with two drinks in hand. Oddly enough, he still seems to stand the heat despite still wearing his face disguise. A white cotton mask, black-framed glasses, and a grey beanie mostly providing cover for his blond curls. While Al, seeing that the venue is pretty dark and speculations has led him to believe that the fans would be focused on the concert rather than the people attending it, had already put away his mask. However, his fears still made him wear his snapback and grey-framed glasses just in case.

Albert takes his rightful drink, and with a free hand, Race takes off his own mask and stuffs it in his pockets. He complains about the stuffiness from wearing the mask all while doing so, which made Kath laugh. It appears the Albert-scolding has been forgotten for the time being, as Kath and Race starts engaging in their own conversation, which Al doesn’t mind because he’d much like to down his beer quickly.

And then the concert finally starts.

An exciting intro starts playing as the band enters the stage. The wild crowd welcoming the band is deafening to Albert’s ear. Time freezes and everything in between fades away. All he sees is Finch, up on stage wearing a smile brighter than the lighting of the venue itself. He’s using his old dark green guitar. The same one he uses when he’s writing songs in bed or when he just feels like strumming the strings. Albert remembers the memoirs of all the guitar string scars he had earned throughout the years of knowing him. Some of them were even caused by Albert himself.

Lucky that Finch hasn’t noticed Albert has been staring at him the whole time. He hasn’t taken his eyes off of the boy since the start of the first song, shimmering under the spotlight with amazing vocals. Laughing about at his fellow bandmates’ antics on stage. Oh, that laugh. It gives him butterflies in his stomach like it was the first time hearing it.

He can feel two pairs of familiar eyes on him. But he’s too far gone to care. Albert really did make a big mistake for letting Finch go that easy. Because at the end of his previous college days, he still loves him and misses him dearly. His little Finchy. It doesn’t matter to Al anymore if Race and Katherine are eyeing him with sorrow or the whole world were to look at him weirdly for fixating his own eyes towards the beautiful boy on stage. He was his beautiful boy. Good lord, does he long to see the days when he got to call Finch his.

“Holy shit, I fucked up” Albert muttered under his breath, only Kath and Race could hear it, “I should’ve never had left”

His friends were definitely not expecting Albert to verbally exclaim his regret. They already knew from the start despite the redhead’s previous denials. But hearing him say it just makes it all more real. Even Albert himself was hit by a truck of reality just by loudly announcing it.

“Well, now you know” Katherine started, gentle voice on the same volume as his own despite the volume of their current surroundings being incredibly loud, “Go tell him that after the show”

“I can’t. I shouldn’t” Albert replied, fully turning away from the stage to properly look at his friends. A glint of sorrow and desperation flashes before his face, “I might make things worse!”

“Well, you’ll never know till you try” Race said, sounding a little hesitant at the start. He offered a warm smile at his friend and a hand on his shoulder, since there isn’t much he could do in the moment.

With a heavy sigh, Albert turns back towards the stage only to witness the biggest surprise of his life. Finch looked back. Straight into Albert’s eyes, it pierced right through to get his heart thumping loudly in his ears. He just realized the song the band was previously playing had ended and they were waiting for the fans to quiet down. While Romeo playfully over-dramatize his thank you’s to the crowd and gets scolded by Elmer and Crutchie, Finch was continuously staring at Albert. The hands that were previously used to play with his guitar hang idly because his center of attention wasn’t at his instrument right now.

It might just be some form of hallucination Al retained from the high, but Finch seemed to be smiling at him a little. Just a little curve at the end of his lips while he’s still staring back.

Albert doesn’t know how to interpret this other than to just stare back. Deep down, his heart is flipping in all kinds of ways and his thought process is no longer comprehensible. He’s trying to read the other boy’s emotions but it’s too neutral to tell. Other than the fact that he’s smiling a little at him but that still doesn’t give him a proper answer.

Eventually Finch becomes the first one to look away, seeing that the audience had settled down for the band. Albert’s eyes were still glued to Finch, retaining his focus back to the concert. He opens his mouth for a moment to say something into his microphone, although he unexpectedly stopped. The flow of words seemed to cut short. He saved himself by pulling himself away from the microphone up front and towards the rest of his bandmates. Judging from the body language, they seem to be whispering.

“What’s happening?” Albert whispered, more to himself rather than to his friends.

“I’m not sure…” Race replied, taking a step closer to where Al is standing.

The band kept the discussion short and quickly got back to their places. Finch seems to hesitate the second time he opens his mouth to speak. But this time, he gets the words out.

“Uhh… sorry ‘bout that. I uhh… I just got the urge to go a bit out of our fixed setlist and uhh… hope you guys don’t mind” Finch explained with a little giggle at the end. The crowd couldn’t care less and cheered on. Finch smile widens at the agreement, “We thought we’d give ya an early access to our newest single that hasn’t been released yet”

A euphoric feeling passed through the crowd as the cheering got louder. It baffled Finch so much that he laughed into his mic.

“Oh my god, they’re actually doing it” Katherine commented under her breath.

But Al’s ears were sharp enough to catch it. He snaps his head around to face the girl behind him, “Do what?”

Katherine was rendered speechless to that question, despite obviously knowing what’s going on. Albert turns to Race but he has no idea. He finally turns back to the stage where Finch’s gaze was already waiting to be returned by Al himself.

Without breaking the gaze, Finch speaks into the mic with a little smile, “It’s called ‘Red’”

It was Albert’s turn to be speechless. He had no knowledge of a new single since he’s mostly been staying away from his ex’s social media for the sole purpose of moving on, which he had failed miserably. And none of his friends had told him anything about a single that’s title was a secret language only Finch and Albert share, littered with all sorts of vintage romance.

“Holy shit…” Race exclaimed, “...I had no idea they were gonna play this song”

The opening of the song starts with Jojo lightly plucking a few strings of his acoustic guitar. The crowd goes wild once again, energy bouncing off one wall to the other.

“Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street

Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly”

Crutchie sang the first line smoothly. At this point the other’s had joined in with their instrument. Finch fully ignoring the crowd and focused on looking at Al. Those blue eyes are trying to send a message to Albert and it’s being coded with the song they’re currently playing.

The song had carried on till it reached the chorus. All the instruments peaked at that moment and collaborated with each other to create a very euphoric sound. The crowd jumps along to the beat of the song along with a loud cheering, obviously enjoying the tune they have yet to listen to. Some were holding up cameras to capture this moment, most likely to later share it with the fans that didn’t get the chance to witness it live.

At this point, Finch had turned his face away from Al. There was a troubling look in his expression but it was quickly covered by closing his eyes as if he’s trying to concentrate on singing the chorus with the others. But Al is no fool. He knows that look on Finch’s face is when he’s trying to avoid something, and that something is him.

“Losing him was blue, like I'd never known

Missing him was dark gray, all alone

Forgetting him was like trying to know

Somebody you never met

But loving him was red”

The words moved something in Al. It was written in a way Albert recognized it to be Finch’s writing style. Every single part of the song. From the melody, the chord progression, even the lyrics. Especially the lyrics.

“Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword

And realizing there's no right answer

Regretting him was like wishing you never found out

That love could be that strong”

As Finch harmonized that line with Jojo, he stole a little sad side glance at Albert. The song returns to the chorus once again, Finch gets dragged with the beat and lightly moves his body along.

Albert gets captivated along with the music. He can feel the corner of his lips slightly rising up, which is pretty ironic seeing that Finch is singing a breakup song about them. Maybe because he’s relieved to hear Finch sing about how he’s not fully over him. Or maybe it’s because he gets to see Finch embracing the break up, which could potentially mean that he’s okay with it. But whatever it is, he’s happy seeing Finch like this. Or just seeing him in general.

“Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes

Tell myself it's time now gotta let go

But moving on from him is impossible

When I still see it all in my head”

The chord progression’s pattern slightly changed. Finch sings his line into the microphone, closing his eyes as if to soak up all the intoxicating energy he gets from the crowd. Of people flailing their hands into the sky and a loud chorus of undecipherable shouting. But at the last line, he steals a proper glance back at Albert.

“In burning red”

The lyrics really says it all. There’s no more hidden message that Albert needs to decipher, as it's being presented right in front of him.

Finch takes over the next part of the song, shredding his guitar which makes the crowd go wild. At the moment, it looks like he’s feeling himself. Moving along with the motion of his fingers that creates each note.

“Oh, losing him was blue, like I'd never known

Missing him was dark gray, all alone

Forgetting him was like trying to know

Somebody you never met

'Cause loving him was red”

The song is supposed to be a punch to Albert’s guts, and yet he finds himself laughing at it. He catches a glimpse of Finch’s eyes, sneaking its way to look back at Albert every so often. And this time, he wears a smile while jumping along to the song. And it made Al smile back.

“His love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street”

As the song ended, the fans went wild. The look on Finch’s face seems satisfied at the success of the single they have yet been released to the world, shining at the sight of a hype crowd. He steals one last glance at Albert with a little smile on his face. Albert would dare to say he’s being a bit shy. To that, Albert smiles back with a disbelief laugh escaping his lips before Finch pulls his gaze away from the other boy.

After playing a few more songs, the concert ended. There was only one thing in Albert’s mind, which was talking to Finch. Race and Albert quickly put their disguise back on before the crowd had realized who they were as they exited the venue. The three stay behind as the venue gets emptied, Race and Katherine making quick work with their fingers on their phones to contact their friends backstage.

Jojo was the first to respond to either of them. He said that Finch is smoking behind the venue alone. One could only assume that he’s not in his best state after spontaneously choosing to sing that single. But Jojo assured them that he’s still good to talk to. Crutchie then responded, saying that Specs and Mike can pick them up to get them into the backstage.

It didn’t take them long, but Albert wasn’t keen on seeing the others right now. After being pointed towards the back door, Albert was already off. Adrenaline coursing through his veins as he makes quick steps towards it.

He gently opens the door, to avoid surprising the boy in case he was nearby. Albert steps out to a parking lot, open-spaced with another parking lot above it as its roof. At a first glance it was completely empty, only a few lights turned on to keep the area lit. His eyes gandered even further and spotted the boy he was looking for, back facing Al and his body leaning on metal bars as he enjoyed the nightlife of the city.

Albert took a deep breath to calm his adrenaline, slowing down his walking pace. The area is eerily quiet. Only a few things that can be heard: his footsteps, his thumping heart, and the sounds coming from the streets three stories below them. With every step closer, he slowly unraveled his makeshift disguise. Shoving his mask and glasses in the pockets of his jeans but left the snapback on.

“‘Loving him was red’” Albert said to catch Finch’s attention, “Did you mean it to be that obvious?”

Finch didn’t fully turn his head around, only halfway so Al can see the little grin of amusement forming on his face. A little chuckle escaped his lips, causing his chest to pulse along before he continued, “Not really. But it has a nice ring to it”

Albert takes a few steps closer towards the metal bars, leaning his body on it like what Finch is doing. Now he can clearly see the half burnt cigarette on Finch’s hand. Al tries to make eye contact with him, but Finch is purposely turning his head the other way and giving Albert his head full of blond curls.

“You came back” Finch suddenly said, voice hushed and low.

“Of course I came back” Albert replied, “You didn’t think I’d fully leave like that, did’ja?”

“Well, no. It’s just that you seemed so hellbent on going to college”

Albert slowly nods at that, moving his gaze towards the streets below like the other boy. They sit in the silence for a few minutes. Hearing different vehicles pass by the street below them and honking from the distance.

“Finch, I’m so sorry I left ya like that” Albert suddenly started, fully turning his face towards him. He couldn’t find a way to word it and so he resorted to just telling him the truth. Finch stays quiet to let him continue, “I was an idiot to let ya go that easily and all because I was selfish”

“You weren’t actually being selfish” Finch said, smiling a little at his words, “You did it because you wanted to. And it wasn’t hurting anyone anyways”

“It did. It hurt you”

Finch turns his head towards Albert. Now their eyes are looking into each other closer than before. The closest they’ve ever been since their breakup. A mixture of unsaid emotions made the gaze feel so intimate and it terrifies Al a bit. 

“I hurt myself trying to get you to stay” Finch said softly. His next words got stuck in his throat. He gives his brain a few seconds to focus with a sigh out of his mouth and dragging his gaze away from Al, “I knew you never wanted to get that engineering degree in the first place which is another reason I didn’t want you to go. But at the end of the day, it was your decision to make and not mine. I lashed out on you and said you were selfish but… I was the one that was being selfish”

Finch turns his eyes back towards Al, his face looks more sorrowful than before, “I’m sorry”

A small smile formed on Al’s face, tilting his head to the side by a few inches, “It ain’t your fault for knowing me more than I know myself”

They leave the conversation at that for the time being. Letting the streets below fill the void of their silence. Both boys focusing their gaze towards the view they got from this height they’re on again. Finch and Albert left speechless at each other’s words.

Albert’s hands unconsciously reach up to his forehead, itching to pick a pimple like earlier. His next words almost got stuck in his throat but he was able to pull through just enough to get to his point, “Well, at the end of the day we uhh… we both fucked up. Fucked our relationship, that’s for sure-”

“Stop picking on your pimples, Al” Finch casually said. The surprise look on Al’s face got Finch to side eye him with a giggle.

Al pulled his fingers away, stuttering in his movements but still continued on his words with more confidence, “What I’m trying to say is… I want to try again as long as you’re willing to”

There was a good few seconds of silence that Finch used to just stare at him. Albert could only wonder what he’s thinking about inside that head, “So we just… what? Forget the breakup ever happened? Move back in together? You know I can’t just do that, right?”

“That’s not what I mean. We don’t need to rush things. I know you can’t do that” Albert said, “Just… let me start by making it up to you? Whatever you want. Just name it”

Finch didn’t respond instantly, letting the silence between them linger for a few more minutes. But it’s deeply agonizing to Albert’s ears. A blank space of two eyes locked in a gaze, and one is obviously dying to get out of it.

“Please, say something” Albert begged. Hands suddenly reaching back up to his face to pick on his pimples again.

With a free hand, Finch reaches towards Al’s hand on his face. He pulls it down to the bars, holding it in place to make sure it doesn’t repeat its mistakes again. The grip was firm, but warm and calming to Albert’s soul. It made him go blank for a good few seconds from being so touch deprived of Finch’s soft hands. He retains his sense of reality when their eyes finally meet again.

With a little smile forming on Finch’s face, he finally answers, “I’d like that very much”

[sad-boy-hank]

Yall got like two paragraphs before any details appear, and idk how to do the readmore on an ask so o7, best graphic torture warning I can give

You were one of the few left from generation two that haven't disappeared the face of Nevada without a trace, dissented, or euthanized over the suspicion of possible betrayal. You also weren't stupid. When you originally joined the chances of running into the mass murderers was low as you were mostly around to sort files and remind those of higher rankings when appointments were due.

Unfortunately as time progressed and Director Phobos had been assassinated you were moved into more important positions and lost the option to leave the agency as you now held vital information that could ultimately screw the entire project over if handled in the wrong hands. You understood that being set closer to the heart of the project put you at higher risk of danger and you wanted nothing to do with it, but the only way out was dissenting or die trying. Those trained with more loyalty were aware of this. To make things more difficult they gave few proper combat training and this is what caused your most recent situation to have even been able to happen in the first place.

One eye covered by a cloth, presumably because you guessed that they'd at least want part of your vision for writing the few plans you know of and directions to segments of the region holding experiments in progress and where resources are supplied while the other eye has been repeatedly blinded by a floodlight, giving you a headache and keeping you from seeing what was to come next. Earlier when you had first came in the stupid sounding dissenter with the underbite asked you which hand you were dominant with. He then pulled out a paper and pen and told you to write anything, being a smart-ass you wrote "Anything" with your non-dominant. Next demand was to write with the opposite and you were just so used to taking orders that it hadn't occurred to you why he even asked until he pulled out off the floor only to slam you back down and drag your dominant arm against the concrete until the abrasion caused you to bleed out and shake for lying to him the first time. That was the first warning.

Now your throat hurt from the on and off choking. Sobbing as hooks in your flesh pulled whenever he thought your hands moved a little too close to the hooks or attempted to push him away in any matter only severed to make open wounds sting that much more when the tears hit the exposed flesh. He had already forced you to write as much as you could with the marred hand. Upset with the limited information you held and lack of fear displayed due to fatigue he spoke with a tone of blatant annoyance,

"Y.. .ere d.i.. so .e.l j.st a m...t. ago. Disgusting fucking rat. Tell me whe.. ... a.t....t .. ..c.... ... I'll let you g-"

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU EVERYTHING I KNOW. STOP TELLING ME YOU'LL PROMISE TO LET ME GO BECAUSE THE AGENCY IS GOING TO KILL ME THE MIN-" Your brief moment of bravery was gone as fast as the first executions as you choked on your own spot and blood when the heel of the monster's boot dug into your gut and twisted itself, one of the meat hooks finally being tugged hard enough to finally rip through the flesh it was snared on for what felt like an eternity.

A brief look glance of pity that you were physically unable to notice as he shined the light back onto your eye but this time he kept it there.

"You of all people should know to never interrupt a superior." to your surprise the sharp weight on your stomach was lifted only to have your side kicked in, for once he let you express pain without punishment but it hurt to keep up when he dragged you by the hair and tie your neck against on of the bigger vents that were around the building. The feeling of cold air and pieces of dust flying into cuts in the back squeezed out tears you didn't even think you had left- seeing you try to jerk away from the metal and only damage your throat further pulled a cruel chuckle from the man. He left the hooks in but didn't bother tying up the rest of your body because he didn't think you'd have the energy to try anything after the session, and he was right. His one mercy for the day was scooting a metal chair underneath your beaten body so you wouldn't immediately hang yourself on the vent when your legs finally gave out during the time he'd be gone.

"I'll be checking in on you later and if I find a single hook out of place I'll bring in Hank to have a little fun as well." That was a lie. He knows Hank would kill them without hesitation but it's a scare that works on most grunts. With the slam of a door, you knew he was gone, and you were free to get the rest of your emotions out of your system and rest until he got back.

BROOOO YOUR WRITING!!!! INCREDIBLE AND FANTASTIC.

[cali-holland]

Golden Hearts, Ch. 2: Martinis, Girls, and Guns

Harrison Osterfield X Reader, James Bond AU ~ Sequel to Golden Bullets

Following a messy split, Harrison, Agent 007, resumes his role as an elite womanizer, after his recovery from his previous mission; meanwhile, you’ve stepped back from your 00 status, taking on cases as MI6’s assistant director from your office. When a new threat emerges to MI6 and a dear friend gets kidnapped, can you and Harrison set aside your differences to save special agent Q, better known as Tom? Or will the stakes- and your love, push you two further apart?

Word Count: 3800

Gif is not mine 

Golden Hearts Masterlist

Masterlist   Harrison Osterfield Masterlist

Let me know if you want to be added to the series tag list

Warnings: sexual themes, maybe some swearing, harry and harrison and reader all being jealous idiots 

Featured Song: “Tomorrow Never Dies” by Sheryl Crow from Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)

~ “You're not the only spy out there, It's so deadly my dear, The power of wanting you near”

A/N: Special shoutout to @duskholland​ for helping me come up with ways to write “sensual” scenes and to @allegra-writes​ for helping me learn more about the tango (which idk if this even counts lmao, don’t hate me yall it’s just a steamy dance). Also, the tango sequence was inspired by an episode of Chuck... but idk if anyone’s seen that.

~~~

“She’s not coming.” Harrison said, irritation clear in his voice as he stepped out of his BMW. Leaning against his own car, Harry grabbed his duffel bag from his feet with a frown.

“But you said you could convince her.” Harry answered, and the blond shrugged, running a hand through his hair. He went around to the back of his car and opened up the trunk for him to get out his two bags.

“I thought wrong.” He muttered. With their bags slung over their shoulders, they made their way across the tarmac to the jet that they were absolutely legally borrowing from MI6.

“We’ll just have to go on without her.” Harry paused, “I still think maybe I could’ve-“

“Harry, don’t take this wrong, but if I couldn’t convince her, then no one could.” Harrison stated definitively.

“Why’s that?” The younger agent asked, his eyebrows furrowing as he tried to understand the sudden irritation in his friend.

“No reason.” He replied, biting his tongue. With Harry following him, he entered the jet’s cabin. Harrison shuffled to put away his two bags, one full of weapons and one of his actual things.

“I’ll get the jet ready.” Harry stated, setting his bag in a seat. As he made his way to the cockpit, Harrison noticed a fourth black duffel bag in the cabin. He eyed it suspiciously, but, before he could question it, he heard his friend speak again. “You’re here!”

“You think I’d leave saving Tom to you two divs?” You questioned with a laugh from the pilot’s seat as the surprised Harry took a seat in the copilot’s seat.

Harrison stepped into the doorway of the cockpit, looking at you with an unreadable expression on his face; like he too was surprised you were here, but also like he was proud that you had come. You smiled softly at him, “I thought I should save the person who’s the reason that we’re alive today.”

Registering your words as a repeat of his own, he couldn’t help the fond smile that crossed his face. “Get this thing in the air, yeah?”

“Prepare for takeoff.” You told him, before turning to the controls before you. With your back turned to him, you missed the bittersweet look on his face as he eyed you over one last time before he left for the cabin.

The air was silent between you and Harry while you two got the jet ready for takeoff. You weren’t quite sure what to say about the delicate situation that was this new, top secret mission, so you did your best, “We’ll find him, Harry.”

“I hope so.” Harry mumbled, trying to keep his focus on the jet and his emotions under control.

“He’ll be alright. He can handle himself out there.”

With the jet cruising on autopilot, you followed Harry out of the cockpit to find Harrison hunched over his laptop, checking Tom’s encrypted message again. You weren’t sure how many times he’d examined the message, but yet again you weren’t sure how many times you repeatedly looked at the images until you stumbled upon a discovery last night.

Seeing him look at the one image in particular of the one man who the database could not identify yesterday, you sat down across from him, simply stating, “His name’s Mr. White.”

“Mr. White? Didn’t 009 detain him three years ago for involvement in S.P.E.C.T.R.E.?” Harrison asked, glancing up from his computer to look at you. Whether subconsciously or not, he sat up straighter, his shoulders back with meaning.

“Yes, and, since we had little to no evidence of major involvement, MI6 released him on parole. Last known file was that he was dying from thallium poisoning, and guess where he went to live out the rest of his days.”

“Spain.” Harry answered.

“Barcelona to be exact.” You stated. “And, according to MI6’s database, Mr. White’s back profile matches that of the mystery man in Tom’s photos.”

“So you think White took Tom?”

“Yes.” You nodded, definitively. “White’s our best lead right now. Besides, M has suspicions that Oberhauser has returned, and, if he has, then he’ll be looking to regroup S.P.E.C.T.R.E. with White.”

“Oberhauser’s dead.” Harrison argued, his eyes narrowing at you.

“It wouldn’t be the first time MI6 has mistaken a case.”

“This Mr. White,” Harry trailed off, “How do you suppose we find him if he is in Barcelona?”

“He has a mansion just outside of the city.” You replied, a proud smile on your lips. “I hope you two brought your dancing shoes because we’ve got a party to crash tonight.”

~~~

Light streamed in through the open window, perfectly angled to strike in your sleepy eyes. You shuffled awake, rolling over away from the window. Your eyes peaked open, and you smiled at the site before you.

With his hair a mess and his lips parted enough that a bit of drool was slipping out, the fast asleep Harrison was your favorite thing to wake up to. Feeling your shift in the bed, he subconsciously tugged you into him with his arm wrapped around your waist. You smiled to yourself, feeling his feet nudge your legs; even asleep, he wanted to be as close to you as possible. Ever so gently, you reached a hand up to run through his hair as you tried to memorize every detail of his face. Your hand slowly shifted downwards, running over his puffed out lips.

“Why are you staring at me?” He mumbled against your fingers, eyes still closed tight.

“You’re drooling.” You teased, your finger running over the small wet spot in the corner of his mouth. Blindly, he puckered his lips out to kiss your hand, making you laugh.

Harrison chuckled as he opened his eyes and shifted closer to you to give you a proper good morning kiss. Caving into him, you rolled onto your back and his lips chased yours, never breaking the kiss while he climbed on top of you. You let out a moan, one of your legs wrapping around his hips.

The moment his fingers began to lazily tug on the hem of your t-shirt, which was really his, his phone began to buzz with the sound of his alarm. At first, neither of you made an effort to turn it off, enjoying the simplicity of each other’s embrace, but, as it continued, Harrison regretfully pulled his lips from yours.

“I need to get going.” He mumbled, moving off of you to reach his phone.

“Do you really have to go?” You asked, and he let out a small laugh.

“Duty calls.” He leaned over and gave you one last kiss before he climbed out of the bed. You sat up against the pillows, white bed sheets falling around you. You watched with a small frown on your face as he moved about your room, collecting his clothes for the new day. Your eyes drifted over to the luggage at the front door. He was off on another mission in Luxembourg this time… or maybe it was Switzerland. Ever since you stepped back from your 00 position, you had a hard time keeping up with it.

“What if you didn’t go?” Your voice was so quiet that Harrison almost thought he had imagined the whisper. Tugging on his white button up, he looked at you with a lopsided smile.

“Love, you know I have to. Besides, it’s only a week. I’ll be back from Austria before you know it.” He answered. He could sense that there was something unsure in your voice, and he gingerly sat on the bed beside you, his blue eyes searching for an answer in yours.

“Runaway with me.” You said faintly, but definitively, as your hand clasped his, “Let’s go somewhere, somewhere where it’s just us. No more sneaking around, no more MI6, no more missions, none of it.”

Harrison looked at you for a moment, and you could see him going through his options in his head. Instead of saying anything, he just pressed his lips to yours tenderly. He pulled back and rested his forehead against yours, “I’d follow you anywhere. Just let me do this mission first.”

“I love you.” A small smile slipped past your lips as you tried to contain the eager feeling inside you.

“I know.” He answered, flashing you that signature smirk.

“Y/N, come on, you gotta wake up.” Harry’s voice pulled you from your dream, or rather another memory, as he shook your shoulder lightly.

“Yes?” You mumbled, blinking your eyes open.

“Harrison’s starting the descent now. We’re here.” He explained. As you took a moment to clear your head, he studied you curiously. “Were you having a bad dream?”

“Not at all.” You gave him your best smile, but he could still register the uneasiness in your figure.

You wouldn’t call it a bad dream, per se. It was just a rather sad thing to think about now. That morning two months ago was the last morning you were truly happy and it was the last morning you spent with the one person that you wanted to wake up to every morning.

Figuring it’d be best to change the topic, Harry did just that. “While you were sleeping, I got the three of us rooms at the hotel closest to White’s mansion. MI6 has no blueprints of his house, but it’s secluded enough that-”

“That Tom might be there?” You finished his thought for him, and he nodded, biting his lip nervously.

“That’s the hope.” He replied.

“Did you two come up with a plan too?” You asked, and he nodded again.

“White will most likely have cameras everywhere and guards in areas where we can’t go. If I can get to his computer, I can hack the security system to search for Tom.” Harry explained.

“And what would Harrison and I do?”

“Keep an eye on White and watch for any trouble in the ballroom.” He stated. At his words, a smile of admiration came across your face. He didn’t sound like the cocky wannabe 00 agent anymore; no, he sounded like a true MI6 special agent. “What’s that look for?”

“You’re really coming into your title, 003.” You teased, making a small blush hit his cheeks.

“I learned from the best.” Harry winked cheekily.

Just a few hours later, the three of you were settled into your individual hotel rooms that Harry had acquired. You busied yourself with getting cleaned up for tonight, trying your best to not think about the fact that Harry’s plan ignored the very fact that it’d entail for you and Harrison to spend actual time together. You couldn’t really blame him though; he was oblivious to the history between the two of you. All he knew was that he was on a mission to save his brother with MI6’s best. And, for the sake of Tom and Harry, you needed to remain focused tonight.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to help you out tonight?” Harrison asked as soon as Harry stepped out of his hotel room.

“I don’t need help. Tom taught me how to hack; it’ll be a breeze.” Harry reassured his friend. He adjusted his cufflinks while they made their way down the hall to your room. Laughing a little, he inquired, “Why do you keep asking? Do you not want to be on White watch with Y/N?”

“I wouldn’t say-” He started, but the curly haired boy walking beside him cut him off.

“You’ve got a thing for her, don’t you?” Voicing the speculation that had been brewing in his mind for the past few hours, Harry had an accusatory sense about his words as they came to a stop in front of your door. He looked at Harrison with questioning eyes.

“No, definitely not.” Harrison just about scoffed in response. Defensively, he turned to Harry, “Do you have a thing for her?”

“No.” Harry answered too quickly for his own liking. They stood like that for a moment, staring at each other with suspicious eyes, as if they were silently daring the other to move.

It was Harry who caved first, turning to open your door with the keycard. With the door wide open, Harry and Harrison stood frozen staring at you as you had a leg up on the footrest, strapping your heel in place. You looked over at them, questioningly, “Is there a problem?”

Both boys shook their heads and stepped inside, the door shutting behind them. You switched your feet to put on your other shoe, trying to pay no mind to the two sets of prying eyes across the room. You completely knew you were showing a little in a dress perfectly tailored to your body, cutouts along your torso to emphasize all the right places, complete with a deep v neck and a high leg slit. With your heels on- specially equipped with your favorite secret knife stilettos, you stood to your full height to look at Harrison and Harry properly. You’d be lying if you said your eyes didn’t immediately catch onto Harrison and his tight, yet perfect fitting tux. The dark navy blue ever so slightly highlighted his eyes even more. Noticing your gaze on him, his lips twitched into a small smirk, and you immediately turned around to the set of ear pieces on your hotel desk.

“Here.” You handed them their ear pieces, and all of three of you put them in.

“Are you ready?” Harry asked you.

“Just about.” You said, slipping a couple lipsticks into your bag.

“I’ve missed those.” Harrison stated. He’d recognize those gold and silver lipsticks anywhere. Harry looked at him, raising his eyebrows curiously. “Gold are grenades, silver are tranq darts.”

“Genius.” He replied in awe.

You quickly applied one final touch up of your own lipstick, nothing special, before looking at them with a nod. “Ready.”

Riding in the classically styled Aston Martin DB5 from MI6, the three of you arrived to White’s party and easily blended into the crowd of people. The ballroom was busy, packed with people dressed to the nines. Splitting up, you all mingled your way around the room, taking in as much surveillance as you could.

“Two guards at the south exit.” Harry murmured into his ear piece.

“And two at the east exit.” Harrison added quietly.

“The west exit has three.” You mumbled. “Something’s got to be hiding back there.”

While you stationed yourself by the live band, pretending to be interested in their music, Harrison made his way to the bar, his personal favorite vantage point. He slid into his seat, eyes scanning the bar as a bartender approached him.

“Martini. Shaken, not stirred.” He ordered and you bit back an eye roll at his words.

“Keeping it classy, I see.” You said through the ear piece.

“Love, you know I can’t say no to a martini.” He replied, a cocky smirk resting on his face.

“Champagne?” Harry asked, holding out a flute of the golden liquid to you as he came to stand beside you, effectively drawing your attention away from Harrison.

“Thank you.” You took the flute from his hand and swirled it lightly.

“I didn’t poison it.” He joked before taking a sip of his own.

“She’s not a fan of champagne.” Harrison’s voice came through your ear piece. You glanced over at the bar to see him watching you and Harry, his fingers wrapped around his martini glass. Never breaking eye contact with him, you drank the bubbly champagne down in one quick motion.

“There’s White.” Harry pointed out, spotting the host across the room. “He’s out here, so I’m going in.”

“Be careful.” You said quietly. You watched him as he disappeared through the crowd. While you had faith in your former trainee, that didn’t mean you couldn’t still be concerned about him. 

“Don’t worry about him.” You heard Harrison say through the ear piece and also behind you. You turned to see him standing there, half- full martini glass in his hands.

“I thought you were staking out by the bar.” You motioned to the drink in his hand, and he smiled before finishing it off.

“The view’s much better over here.” He took your empty flute from your hands and placed it on a waiter’s tray, right beside his own now empty glass. The waiter moved along swiftly. “You know what the best way to survey a room is?”

You crossed your arms in front of your chest, shaking your head at him, already knowing his suggestion. “Not here.”

“Dancing.” Harrison sent you his signature smirk, his hands reaching to unravel your arms. “Come on, remember Argentina?”

“I do remember, but we can’t exactly tango in Spain.” But it was too late as he pulled you out onto the dancefloor, just as the musicians picked up their tempo with a new song.

“Sure we can.” He winked. Despite your protests, you still let him take one of your hands in his and rest his other hand on your waist, holding you close enough that you could smell the martini in his breath. To prove his point, he spun you in time with the music. He tried to take the lead, but you wouldn’t let him off that easily as the two of you danced and spun around the dancefloor; hips, feet, arms, all of you moving together in a fluid motion. With his warm hands trailing over the open slits in your dress, he quietly breathed out, “I see you’re still a great dancer.”

“You’re a little rusty.” You answered, your chest pushed against his. Your eyes briefly scanned the room, looking at the security guards at the exits and White. “Aren’t we supposed to be observing the room?”

“I am observing.” He argued, and you narrowed your eyes at him, stepping with him in time to the musician’s beats, your legs brushing against his sensually.

“Observing White, not me.”

“He’s not nearly my type.” He joked, his smile beaming as he looked at you. You went out for a spin again, but when you came in this time, you brought your leg up, hitching it to his waist with ease, thanks to the slit. Instinctively, Harrison’s hand grabbed under your thigh, his calloused fingers running over your smooth skin. His other hand splayed across your bare back, holding you up as he dipped you down quickly.

“White’s on the move.” You whispered to him when you were brought back up, your leg still clinging to him tightly.

“I’m watching him.” Harrison mumbled back to you, before dipping you again. This time, he dipped with you, drinking you in with his nose tickling your collarbone and trailing up your neck until his eyes were level with his. It wasn’t until then, under his electrifying stare, that you realized just how fast your own heart was racing. Still holding you tightly in the dipped position, Harrison darted his eyes down to your lips, and, for a split moment, you weren’t even sure if you’d mind if he kissed you right then.

“Harrison?” A voice asked from in front of him. His head darted up to see the stranger that somehow knew him.

“Madeleine?” He brought you back up to a standing position. His hands immediately dropped from your side, and you stepped away from him to see the stranger. You felt yourself stand a bit taller seeing the other woman before you. This Madeleine was by all means a standard model looking woman- tall, thin, fragile features, and a beautifully simple periwinkle silk dress.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here. How are you?” She asked with a genuine smile, and you quickly picked up on a slight French accent when she spoke with a hint of an Austrian accent. 

“I’m good, yeah. And you?” Harrison replied, almost nervously. You glanced between him and Madeleine, confused by the exchange occurring, and that’s when you saw it. The small spark in Harrison’s eyes as he looked at her, a spark that was once reserved for you. You felt an unfamiliar feeling begin to twist in your gut.

“Never been better.” She smiled, and even her smile was perfect. She looked over at you, laughing a little. “I’m so sorry, I should introduce myself. I’m Madeleine Swann. I met Harrison back in Austria.”

“Y/N.” You answered, shaking her hand gracefully, despite that feeling growing inside you. Austria. Of course it had to be that mission.

“What are you doing here? In Spain?” Harrison asked her with a smile.

“This is my father’s party.” Madeleine explained and you bit back your surprise. “We haven’t talked in years, though, so I’m not quite sure why he invited me tonight.”

Before the conversation could carry on further, Harry’s voice came through the ear piece that you almost forgot was in, “I’m coming back out. I checked every bit of his system and Tom’s not here.”

“I’ll let you two catch up. I really should be going.” You told Madeleine and Harrison, who sent you a quick nod.

“It was lovely to meet you.” Madeleine called after you before you could fully walk away. You gave her one last fake smile and turned to go find Harry in the crowd. Just as you saw the familiar head of curls through the sea of people, you heard a sharp scream from the other side of the room, sending the civilians into a frenzy as they tried to run away. Through the commotion, Harry managed to reach you.

“What happened?” You asked him, and Harrison ran up to the two of you with a distressed Madeleine behind him.

“White’s dead.” Harrison stated. “We need to leave.” You glanced over at Madeleine, and he reached to grab her hand, “We can trust her. She comes with us.”

“We don’t have time to debate it.” Harry said, pointing towards the armed security as they drew their weapons. Quickly, the four of you ran with the crowd of terrified guests back to your cars.

“I’ll go with Madeleine to get her car. Rendezvous at the hotel.” Harrison announced, not giving you or Harry time to react before the two of them disappeared into the crowd.

You and Harry ran back to the DB5 as fast you could. He slipped into the driver’s seat, and you took one last glance back at the chaos leaving the party. You felt your breath catch in your throat as you saw the one person you thought you’d never see alive again.

“Y/N, come on!” Harry urged, pulling you from your thoughts. Shaking your head, you got into the car.

No. There was no way you just saw him.

~~~

General Tag List: @viagracex​​​ @theamazingtomholland​ @Hellomoveonby @heyitsshrez @harrisonosterfieldhazmyheart​ @joyleenl​ @t-o-m-holland​ @lonikje​ @sleepybesson​ @sunkisseddreamer​ @hollandsamor @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh​ @gorillaglue23 @petersoftboyparker @musicalkeys

Harrison Tag List: @Calhtlland @tomkindholland​ @where-art-thau-romeo​

Original Series Tag List: @quinjetboi @baby-haz @kickingn-ames @rougese7en @hollandsosterfield @nj01​ @it-is-rebel-owl-ma-dudes @spencerreidxoxo @duskholland

[savnofilter]

no nuance november!

a/n: which is basically you have a bunch of opinions and dont explain any of em' and let your followers discuss them (much more suited for tiktok sjsnj). i'll be doing it since it compiles with many topics like fandom, racism, lgbtq+, politics and etc. i highly encourage people to do this simply because why not? feel free to send your own opinions n stuff, i wanna know what my followers think!!

disclaimer!! ⚠️ all of these are broad, not pin pointing certain people or situations. even though these are my opinions these were all in fun and have been collected over the years and will change as time goes on. nothing is sugar-coated so thread carefully. feel free to agree or disagree. :)

warning(s): mentions of racism, p*do micro aggression, fetishizing, toxicity, abuse, politics, labelling, mental health, cancelling, fandoms, ages.

key:

iswis = i said what i said, no explanation to that one.

whe = will happily explain.

stop sexualizing gay/m|m/yaoi relationships. it's not only demonizing to the males, it's also very fetishizing. (iswis)

most times /10 yall root for "feminine men" when you really mean white boys and fetishised asian men on social media. (whe)

bullying someone isnt educating. you either cant cope with the fact people have different opinions from you or you have a struggle with things either always never going your way or the opposite. (iswis)

straight people will never have a say in lgbtq+ issues. stop inserting yourself. (iswis)

white people will never have a say in poc issues. stop inserting yourself. (iswis)

poc will never have a say in black people issues. stop inserting yourself. (vice versa but im black and it happens more often to us lol) (iswis)

using the defense, "but black lives matter, right?" when one black person does something bad isnt facts, youre racist. (iswis)

fandom adults need to stop gatekeeping the target audience (demographics) to animes/shows. (iswis)

poc people can be racist. (whe)

even if a certain site was adult doesnt mean that every adult wants to see your porn. either keep it to yourself or tag properly. (iswis)

saying shit like, "im more xyz than you and im not even xyz" is not only disrespectful but disgusting. just because you believe in a popular opinion of a group does NOT suddenly make you a person in it, get over yourself. (iswis)

dont hate on people for the same things you have done at a young age. (ex: writing fanfic, seggs, etc) (iswis)

blaming a minor/someone mentally unstable for being abused is not only victim blaming, but it enables the notion that people who go those things that they wanted it. (iswis)

going off of that last point, if you do victim blame for situations and been in them yourself you either still havent coped with what you went through and still think it was your fault when it wasnt. (whe)

it's stupid people hate minors for being undeveloped when adults are the reason as to why people get traumas, abused and quite literally are destroying the world right now. (iswis)

gen z is white as fuck. (iswis)

early 2000s kids are equivalent to 90s kids who use to post, "only 90s kids under this" and post something that 2000-5 experienced. (iswis)

dear 2005+ kids, abusing harmful substances and having sex doesnt make you grown. stop it. (iswis)

adults, being able to post porn doesnt make you grown or mature, stop believing that it does. (iswis)

just because it's a coping mechanism doesnt mean it's healthy. (iswis)

avoiding conflict doesnt mean youre mature. if there is an active problem and you know ignoring it will only benefit you and not the actual problem at hand that is selfish. (iswis)

black women generate clout for everyone. when we're hated the person gets patted on the back, someone appreciates black girls they are praised, and people of many groups repeatedly steal from our culture. (iswis)

YES THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING BLACK AND AFRICAN AMERICAN. (whe)

if youre black you do not have to be democrat OR republican, there are many other parties. (whe)

i do not trust either parties, no minority should. (whe)

this 2020 election was not a win for poc people no matter who won. (iswis)

we do not decide whether or not what to do on columbus day. it is up to the natives themselves. (whe)

pointing out other countries (current) faults is not racist. although the issue can be misconstrued, if proper research is done it safe to say it's an educated observation or opinion. (whe)

privilege heavily varies; ex, americans are seen as privileged, while the people who live in it experience a disadvantage because of the societal standards. within the country itself. (whe)

americans, stop saying that america is the worst country and there are other countries who are suffering much worse than we are. yes sometimes it sucks but do not label it as the worst. (iswis + whe)

white people are privileged and will always be until we break the racist issues deep rooted in EVERY community. (iswis)

9/10 when marginalized groups like (women, lgbt) are mostly focused on white people and never address the poc counter parts. using the excuse "well idk much about that" is not good enough and just promotes pseudo-white supremecy. (iswis + whe)

do not use aave. (iswis)

aave is not gen z language, stop calling it that. (iswis)

gay men (white especially) use black women and get praised for the things we do that are called ghetto. (iswis)

yes it is offensive if you touch a black persons hair with or without permission. we are not your pets nor zoo animals. (iswis)

and yes it is offensive if you see a black women with beautiful hair and assume it's fake or ask, "is it yours?" "is it real?" (iswis)

using jailbait as an excuse to lewd minors is just as disgusting. (iswis)

beauty standards for women is rooted from pedophilia. (iswis)

using other pedophilic relationships as an excuse to ship yours is disturbing and you shouldnt be near children at any capacity. (iswis)

everything doesnt need a label. (iswis)

the fact that gangs have been criminalized while mafias havent is racist and feeds the stereotypes that poc are criminals. (iswis)

people are more forgiving to white predators than to poc (neither are good but people let white off the hook more often). (iswis)

if youre okay with your friends being racists, creeps, abusers you are just as bad. (iswis)

although you can like what you like, making dark content shouldnt be as glorified as much as it is. (iswis)

some kinks do deserve to be kink shamed. (iswis)

adults need to be more held accountable when held in situations with minors. (iswis + whe)

everyone perceives the world differently, many people will see the same things you see differently. (iswis)

calling people crazy for questioning the things around them doesnt make them crazy, youre just asleep. (iswis)

the human body can function without a soul. (iswis)

stop disrespecting christianity. you wouldnt do the same with hinduism, islam and etc. (iswis)

the bible was altered by white men and the true meanings have been misconstrued. (iswis + whe)

bullying someone who you THINK is problematic is not excuse to be hateful. youre just scum and feel the need to justify your actions. (iswis)

not everyone has to like you and dont need a reason. (iswis)

just because you dont like someone doesnt mean you have to make a show of it. be mature and move along. (iswis)

yes callouts/cancelling has its place but it's never done right. (iswis)

"cancel culture" wasnt a thing till white people joined in. (iswis)

dont cancel someone for stuff they did years ago. bringing it up is important but not allowing them to understand, reflect, and apologize is not only bullying it defeats the purpose of bringing awareness. (iswis)

big writers need to stop complaining when one fic or a few dont do good. not only does it rub in small writers faces, it shows that if you need people's validation to write you probably shouldnt be writing. some works will be popular and some will flop, get over it. (iswis)

stop witch hunting & crucifying people for shit you have done or your friends have done and going "uwu sorry" when you get caught. (iswis)

90% people believe content creators with bigger audiences. (iswis)

people spontaneously posting, "uwu take care of your mental health" doesnt mean that they actually care. (iswis)

people are always quick to judge people with real mental health such as depression, anxiety, adhd, and etc are always the one to turn and pretend to be exactly what they just mocked. (iswis)

dont have kids if youre not going to take care of them. (iswis)

stop baiting baby otakus (people freshly getting into anime) into watching cp like yarichin bitch club or boku no pico. they are minors, it's not funny, stop it. (iswis)

stop being protective & toxic over anime characters. if they were real they probably wouldnt even like you. (iswis)

just because someone is your friend doesnt mean that they arent toxic or abusive. (iswis)

start believing when people show their true traits. (iswis)

trauma happens in different forms, stop saying something didnt happen because it didnt go the way that has commonly happened or the way it occurred to you. (iswis)

stop saying minors should "know" while also being the loudest to say that our brains arent even developed till 25. (iswis)

the adult age should be raised to 20 years old. (iswis + whe)

tos should be raised to 16 years old. (iswis + whe)

minors take "18+" & "minors dni" out of your bio. (iswis)

yelling at minors for finding the content you freely put out without any care is your fault not theirs. (iswis)

there are plenty of adult sites that are more confined for adults but you guys ignore them because youd rather get popular on writing erotica on a popular social media platform. (iswis)

trying to cancel someone over one mistake and or blowing said things out of proportion is toxic and stupid. (iswis)

if you take someone saying they need to distance themselves for mental health reasons personally and make them feel bad for it youre an actual shitty person. (iswis)

if someone disrespects you, you have the right to say whatever you want in response. (iswis + whe)

stop hypersexualizing everything (adults especially). (iswis)

the excuses of, "they look grown" "i mentally think xyz" "theyre fake" is creepy and weird and yall should come up with a better excuse. (iswis)

yes i do believe minors should be writing for minors only, but i will not give a shit if an adult does if said characters are aged up in every work sfw or not. (iswis)

stop saying teens cant go through traumatic things and cant experience mental illnesses. it just shows that you werent cared for as a child and never get the therapy for it. (iswis)

gen z has a very colonized idea of activism. (iswis)

feminism was never for all women until the rest of us forced ourselves in. and even now it's still an issue whether or not people realize it or not. (iswis)

poc solidarity doesnt exist as much as we try to make it happen. (iswis)

colorism is an issue, and no you will not tell me otherwise. (iswis)

the hot cheeto girl is offensive and demeans black & hispanic culture. (iswis)

stop bashing minors for breathing, just say youre mad youre not young anymore and move on. (iswis)

black men are the white people of black people. (iswis)

there is no reason as to why you anyone would refer to black people as "blacks". nor should you (non-black people) be arguing whether or not to say nigga even with the hard r. (iswis)

if you (pertains to white people) think white privilege doesnt exist but go on to make fun of or ignore minority problems you are the living and breathing example of what we are talking about. (iswis)

loli/shotas are fucking disgusting and people who like it deserve to be tortured for eternity. (iswis)

seriously, stop using theyre "fake" as an excuse. (iswis)

if youre comfortable with being hateful to someone but still consider yourself a nice person because you do the hate minimum to be a decent human, youre either a narcissist or have a god complex. (iswis)

coons have no say in black issues. (iswis)

people need to stop blaming the "home wrecker" for ruining the relationship when it was the s/o's fault as well. there is no home to enter without an owner. (iswis)

stop saying any asian man yo see reminds you of a haikyuu character and or any anime character. it's racist. (iswis)

stop saying any asian person looks like a kpop idol, it's racist. (iswis)

stop downplaying and invalidating when black women go through traumatic things. not only does it promote that we have to be strong and save everyone else's problems, it says that we dont have emotions and cant be a victim which is disgusting. (iswis)

if you say shit like "minors curate your own experience" then go and turn around to say you REFUSE TO TAG YOUR SHIT YOU ARE LITERALLY MAKING THE PROCESS OF CENSORING HARD! (iswis)

white women are just as much of a problem as white men. only difference is sex keeping them apart. (iswis)

stop saying kpop is racist. expecting artists from a different political progression to understand that things can be offensive is bland. (iswis)

people accept boy groups fuck-ups more than they accept girl groups. and most times out of ten, the males are worse. (iswis)

if you engage in nsfw conversation with a minor, it is your fault they responded. (iswis)

anyone can be abused. (iswis)

stop coddling adults and bullying minors. (iswis)

most of you females have internalized misogyny and dont even know it. (iswis)

you can callout issues without having to drag a group of people. same with uplifting. (iswis)

if youre fine with being a sheep unfollow me. (iswis)

seven deadly sins is not a good anime. (iswis)

there is a difference between boku no hero academia fans based on if they call it "bnha" or "mha". (iswis)

ships literally are not serious stop harassing people over ships. (iswis)

do not harass creators of series because they do something with THEIR story. make your own. (iswis)

stop saying horikoshi sexualizes his women too much/mineta is the worst when you guys enjoy shows like one piece, hunter x hunter, naruto and etc. (iswis)

minors often or not are sheeps (heres your sign you dont have to agree with everything other people say). (iswis)

just because minors can be mature doesnt mean that they are adults. stop treating them as such. (iswis)

we should give more voice actors in the asmr (idk what to call it) community more recognition instead of just one. (iswis)

writers are the ones that send hate to other writers. anon hate is so corny and if you do it that goes to show that you are truly a toxic person wearing a fake mask of kindness when youre not on anonymous. (iswis)

stop being mean to smaller writers because they did not have as much luck as you. (iswis)

stop blaming your readers because one story flopped. (iswis)

ignoring someone's shitty actions encourages them to do it more. (iswis)

going to school and getting a job is much harder now than it was before. (iswis)

being an adult doesnt automatically make you mature. just because youre older doesnt mean youre better or you opinion is more valuable. it just shows that you werent heard when you were younger. (iswis)

there should be no reason as to why someone of the age of 18 should be having any romantic relationship with someone who is a minor. (iswis)

hawks is a shitty character. (iswis)

bakudeku isnt toxic. (iswis)

just because bakugo is in a ship, doesnt mean it's toxic. (iswis)

stop shipping male characters together simply because they have screen time together. it's creepy. (iswis)

almost all of 1-a students have ptsd and anything close to the after effects of being traumatized. (iswis)

no, editing characters to be poc is not racist. youre just mad they arent "white" when they never were. theyre asian and come in many colors as well. (iswis)

wanting to only be with a different race to get a mixed baby is fucking disgusting. (iswis)

stop ignoring pedo relationships between older women and younger boys and or with older women in general. (iswis)

males can be abused, stop telling them to suck it up or that they cant go through things. (iswis)

shaming young females about things they cant control is misogynistic and is damaging to their identity and shouldnt be excused. (iswis + whe)

not all females have to shave. (iswis)

what you dont like in someone is the projections you see of yourself on other people that you dont like about yourself. (whe)

popular bl stories extremely misrepresent gay relationships and frankly it's disgusting that theyre boosted as much as they are. (iswis)

jjba isnt ugly, you just watch animes to sexualize the characters. (iswis)

it's shitty that anime and kpop only became cool once white people stated to like it and made it mainstream. go gatekeep family guy or something. (iswis)

if you have been anime fan for a long time you were with bullied/teased for just generally liking it or you were a weirdo who recreated shit from it. (iswis)

weaboo and weeb were bad terms till we made them positive?? literally otaku is the word for it but we use weeb instead lol. (whe)

normalize and promote educating someone without going straight to bullying them. (whe)

haikyuu isnt really a good manga/anime nor is the art style the best but the characters make up for it. (iswis)

stop misusing terms and stop nitpicking definitions to manipulate your narrative. (iswis)

toxic positivity is manipulative and if you have to make it back handed you are not as nice as you like to make it seem. (iswis)

studying a major doesnt mean youre actually good in the subject. (iswis)

normalize people realizing their past mistakes and growing from it. (iswis)

do not self diagnos unless you actually feel like you may have that issue and would like to seek help. mental health is not a personality trait. (iswis)

stop projecting onto people. (iswis)

stop misusing terms and stop nitpicking definitions to fit your narrative. (iswis)

stealing any type of work should not be tolerated. (iswis)

constantly trying to trigger someone to go back to their old ways (being toxic, abusive, addiction, suicidal etc) after changing is toxic and manipulative. (iswis)

if you make jokes about hurting kids and or feel the need speak badly about them i do not want to speak to you. (iswis)

the human brain wasnt developed to understand complex ideas such as death or the universe. (iswis)

we will never truly know what is beyond our skies. (iswis)

thats all, thanks for sifting!

[ukulelecal]

Biggest Fan pt. 4

In which you’re a famous singer and Calum is a fan of your music.

Warnings: maybe like one swear, but other than that not really

Pairing: Calum Hood x Reader

Requested By: Anonymous originally

“hi can you do a blurb on calum where you’re also famous and u find out he’s interested in you and low key loves your music? shebjdjsj idk jus make it fluffy and ill love u forever”

A/N: another obnoxiously long wait, another part!!!! finally!! we got some cute calum all up in this bitch YEESS im in love with him. sorry its short (well like not super short but shorter than part 3), i wasn’t sure what else could happen without making it extensive for just one part. but give me some feedback, tell me what you thought!! also, do you guys want more parts? i could probably end it here if yall are done with this, but i also have some ideas for some more things that could happen!!! aka i could kill yall with some cuteness!! or make you cry with some angst!! what do you guys think???

Requests are OPEN!

*Gif not mine*

Series Masterlist

Your head was pounding. Your stomach was churning. All the telltale signs of a hangover.

A groan fell from your lips, bringing your hand up to rub your eyes. After they adjusted to the light coming in from the windows, you glanced at the bed next to yours; Cara and Sam were still sleeping soundly. Your eyes then fell on the clock, squinting to see clearly. 12:34 PM. You hadn’t even realized you slept that late.

The occurrences of the previous night were one massive blur. You remembered getting ready to leave and meeting up with Calum and Mali, having a couple shots, but after that? Not much came back to you.

It wasn’t until you picked up your phone, seeing a text from Calum, that perhaps the most significant event of the night finally popped into your head.

You admitted your feelings to Calum. You kissed him.

You weren’t sure if you wanted to smile or punch yourself in the face.

Sure, you had been wanting something like that to happen. But, in a club and being totally wasted wasn’t exactly how you imagined it happening. You couldn’t really complain, though. He liked you back.

He liked you back.

Yeah, you had to smile.

You glanced down at your phone again, actually reading the text that Calum sent you.

Calum: I have to get back on the road later today. I really need to see you again before I go.

You bit your lip softly, typing out a reply.

Y/N: Definitely. Where should we meet up?

You set your phone back down on the nightstand to wait for a reply, and kicked the blankets off of you. Might as well start getting ready if you were going to meet up with Calum. You quietly padded to the bathroom, trying not to wake up Cara and Sam, and glanced in the mirror. Oh, yikes. You had managed to change out of your clothes before crashing in bed, apparently, but neglected to remove your makeup. Your eye makeup was smudged everywhere, and your lipstick was smeared a bit.

Well, that probably wasn’t entirely from sleeping.

You grabbed a makeup wipe and cleaned everything off, then thoroughly washed your face. From outside the bathroom, you heard your phone vibrate, and you quickly scurried out to check. There was another text from Calum.

Calum: You can come to my hotel, if that’s okay. I’ll take you back to yours on my way to the airport after.

Y/N: Sounds good, Cal

He proceeded to send you the name of the hotel and his room number, and you scurried over to your suitcase to get some clothes. You decided on something cute but casual, just for a meet up. A pair of mom jeans, and a simple white t-shirt tucked in.

As you went about your morning routine, you pondered exactly what you and Calum were going to talk about. The night before was inevitably going to come up, but that conversation could go in many different directions. You weren’t sure exactly how it would turn out.

Still, you meant every word you had said. You liked him a lot. Although your time together in person was limited, you texted and Skyped him a lot and got to know him very well. You fell for him from miles away.

After you finished getting ready, making yourself look as presentable as possible being quite hungover, you shook Cara and Sam awake, earning tired groans in response.

“You can go back to sleep if you want,” you chuckled. “Just wanted to let you know I’m going to go see Calum for a bit. I shouldn’t be too long.”

Cara grumbled something incoherent and buried her head deeper into the pillows. Rolling your eyes, you reached for the pad of paper and pen that hotels provided, and wrote out a quick note. Chances were, neither of them were going to remember a thing you said, if they even heard you at all.

You slipped on some shoes, grabbed your phone and room key, and headed out the door.

On the way down to the lobby, you put the address to Calum’s hotel into your phone to see how far it was. Turns out, it wasn’t far at all, only a couple blocks away. You decided against calling an Uber; you could walk.

You turned left out of your hotel and started your walk. It went by quickly and uneventfully, and you soon found yourself in the lobby of the hotel Calum was staying at. You headed towards the elevators and went up to the sixth floor, where he had said his room was. You then followed the signs to room 659.

Taking a deep breath, you gently rapped on the door. It opened a couple moments later to reveal Calum dressed in black joggers and a green hoodie with the word “empathy” printed across the front.

“Hey,” he said, a sleepy grin resting on his face. You could tell by the dark circles under his eyes and the disastrous state of his hair, that he was feeling the effects of a hangover as well.

“Hi,” you replied, and he stepped to the side to let you in. Letting the door fall shut behind you, he gestured to the bed, sheets wrinkled and messy from a night of sleep, for you to sit. You gingerly plopped yourself down on the edge, and Calum did the same next to you.

“So, um, have you seen the pictures?” Calum asked, scratching the back of his head as he turned to look at you, face slightly scrunched up. You furrowed your eyebrows at the question.

“What pictures?” You asked, confused. The only thing you had done on your phone was text Calum, not check social media. He sighed and grabbed his phone that was resting on his pile of pillows, and unlocked it; you didn’t want to be nosy, but you couldn’t help but notice that his lockscreen was a photo of his dog, Duke. He had shown you pictures of him when you were in Paris. You smiled a little. Hopefully you’d get to meet the little guy.

Then the familiar blue of Twitter appeared on his screen, and Calum used his thumb to scroll until he found what he was looking for. He clicked on a picture and handed you his phone to see.

Your heart dropped in your stomach a bit as you swiped through the many.

The pictures were all of you and Calum at the club. You were used to having your picture taken when you were just trying to do normal things or have fun, but these weren’t exactly the same. There were a couple of you and him dancing, but the majority were of you and him kissing.

It was those that made you slightly uncomfortable. Calum had you pinned against the wall, hands gripping your hips and your arms thrown around his neck, having a sloppy makeout session. That wasn’t the type of picture you wanted of yourself getting spread around the Internet.

“Oh,” you breathed out softly. Wordlessly, you handed Calum his phone back, gently taking your bottom lip between your teeth.

“I know,” he sighed, tossing the electronic back on the pillows. “I wish they would just leave us alone, you know?”

“Yeah.” It was normal for you to be scrolling through Twitter and suddenly find a picture of yourself walking down the street, getting into your car, having lunch with a friend. It definitely did get pretty annoying. “What are people saying about them?”

Calum sighed again, fiddling with the rings on his fingers.

“Similar things to what they said about the Paris pictures,” he began. “There were more of them that weren’t so nice, I guess.”

“Of course,” you grumbled under your breath, more to yourself rather than Calum. Another thing you were, unfortunately, used to was hate on the Internet. You had seen it all; jabs at your music, your appearance, your clothes, your personality. Most of the time, you tried not to even read it, ignore it the best you could, but curiosity got the best of you every once in a while. Nonetheless, you tried not to let it bother you. “What are we going to do, then?”

Calum hesitated before answering.

“I’m not sure what there is to do. Just don’t acknowledge it, I guess.”

You weren’t sure why you felt a wave of disappointment wash over you.

“And, about last night…” Calum continued, voice trailing off. Your eyes widened a bit.

This had been what you really wanted to talk about. You knew what you were hoping for him to say, but there was always the possibility that he could take it back. Tell you he was drunk and it didn’t mean anything. That you should just keep being friends.

“Did you mean what you said?” He asked, voice soft, and you could hear the slightest shake in his voice. A small smile graced your features.

“Of course I meant it,” you replied, just above a whisper. “I really do like you, a lot.”

Calum smiled, and your smile grew to match his.

“Did you?” You questioned, letting your head fall daintily to the side. Calum chuckled.

“Every word.”

He suddenly stood up, reaching his hand out. You gingerly grabbed it, letting him pull you to your feet and close to him. Looking up to meet his gaze, you found his brown eyes boring into you, and you felt your heart flutter.

Those damn eyes got you every time.

“I don’t think we had a very proper kiss last night,” he mused, running his thumb over your hands that were held between the two of you. “C-Can I kiss you again?”

Calum was mentally cursing himself for stuttering, but you were nodding and smiling fondly up at him, already starting to slowly lean in. He moved his hands to cup your cheeks, closing the distance between you.

This was more like the romantic first kiss you had imagined.

Your hands found his shoulders, letting them rest there.

Your heart was pounding. You were weak in the knees. You were wrapped around his finger.

He felt the same. Ever since he met you in Chicago, he knew you were special. It was a leap of faith for him to tweet you that day, so long ago, and he about died when you replied. He couldn’t be more glad.

The kiss eventually broke, and you stayed with your foreheads resting against each other, dazed smiles on both of your faces. Before either of you had the chance to say anything, Calum’s phone rang from where it sat on the bed. Of course, something had to ruin the moment.

He sighed heavily, mumbling out an apology before reaching for it.

After he hit decline to whoever was calling him, he tossed it down and reached for your hands again.

“I have to leave for my flight,” he sighed, almost sounding upset that he had to go. As much as you wanted to have more time with him, more than just these few minutes, you knew he had a tour to get back to.

“Okay,” you replied, giving his hands a light squeeze. “I can walk back to my hotel.”

“Are you sure? I can ask my driver to drop you off on the way.” You shook your head. “No, don’t worry about it. I’m only a couple blocks away.”

He nodded, pulling you in for a hug. You breathed out deeply as you wrapped your arms around his torso, taking in his scent. You knew it would be a while before you saw each other again, maybe not even until after he finished the North American leg of his tour, which was the last one.

You just didn’t want to leave him.

“Text me later, okay?” You mumbled into his chest, eyes unintentionally falling shut.

“Definitely.”

You pulled away from the hug, looking up at him with a grin.

“Bye, Calum.”

“Bye, Y/N.”

Hesitantly, you removed yourselves from each other grasps, and Calum walked you to the door.

Just as you stepped foot into the hallway, Calum grabbed your wrist and spun you around.

“One more,” he breathed out, pulling you in for another kiss. You melted into it. How was a simple kiss so heavenly?

“Now I’m good,” he chuckled when he pulled away, and you couldn’t help but laugh a little as well. You bid your final goodbyes, and before you knew it, you were on your way back to your hotel.

…

After you returned and relayed every single detail of what happened onto the finally awake Cara and Sam, you decided to spend the day relaxing by the pool.

You were laying out on your chair, catching some California sun, when the thought came to you; you and Calum for sure liked each other, but nothing ever became official. What were you?

You wanted to wait, didn’t want to seem desperate, but it was nagging you. Did shared feelings and a few kisses mean you were together? Official? Unofficial?

Letting out a deep breath, you reached for your phone, typing a simple, straightforward text out to Calum.

Y/N: Cal? What are we?

You weren’t expecting a reply right away, assuming he was probably on the plane, but much to your surprise, you got one just a few minutes later.

Calum: I mean, I kind of wanted to ask you this in person, but that depends on how you answer this question

The typing bubbles appeared, signalling he was still typing. You bit your lip as your heart pounded in your chest. The next text couldn’t come soon enough.

Calum: Would you like to be my girlfriend, Y/N?

And everything suddenly seemed like it fell into place.

Y/N: I would love to be your girlfriend, Calum. And I would love for you to be my boyfriend

Calum: You’re fucking adorable. I wish I was there to kiss you right now

You giggled a little, covering your mouth with your hand.

Y/N: Can’t wait until I see you again so we can do boyfriend-girlfriend things like kissing xo

Calum: Soon, just a few weeks left. I’m boarding now, I’ll call you later, ok?

Y/N: Ok. Have a safe flight!

His response was a few heart emojis, and you locked your phone. There was no way in hell you could wipe the smile off your face.

It was official. Boyfriend-girlfriend official.

“What’s got you smiling like that?” Cara asked, returning with Sam from the bar where they had been getting drinks. You giggled, covering your face with your hands.

“He asked me out,” you mumbled from behind your hands, earning excited squeals from your friends.

“Now we can like, go on double dates and stuff!”

You laughed at the comment from Sam, finally removing your hands from your face.

It was surreal, but it was happening. After he tweeted you never thought you’d end up dating. After Chicago, it was a thought in your mind. After Paris, you wanted it. Now, here you were.

[justanotherbuckydevotee]

Thou Mayest (1/2)

word count: 1,252 words prompt: “the truth hurts but secrets kill” warning(s): Angst. idk like broken trust?? Happens after Civil War A/N: Written for @wehaveabucky. Thank you for letting me be part of an amazing celebration for your milestone, sweet heart! I hope I did the prompt justice. Also yall i guess im back from my hiatus. 

masterlist

Steven Grant Rogers tries his hardest to protect the people he loves.

He firmly believed at one point that by taking in the serum he would finally be able to protect everybody he loves, to shield them from whatever evil is lurking in the corners of the earth, that he would be able to offer shelter to the people he cares from whatever monster is in the dark waiting for its chance to attack.

But in some cases, cases like this one, he wasn’t; he wasn’t protecting the people he loves, he wasn’t sheltering them from any monster, but he just wasn’t able to face a brutal reality.

That is up until the fight at an undisclosed HYDRA facility.

When Steven Grant Rogers saved you and your friends from the Raft, freeing you from the restraints of a straightjacket and the watchful, hateful eyes of the security guards, you felt relieved for one moment. One blissful moment.

That is until you see the tensed shoulders of Natasha as she maneuvers the Quinjet, her side-eyeing and stiff posture signaling for unease to crawl its way back to you.

It’s then that you finally see Steve; he’s abandoned his Captain America apparel, opting for an attire of dark blues and blacks, optimal for when you want to not be seen, his smile far too wide and far too frequent as he chatters with the others.

“Sorry I couldn’t make it sooner” Steve said, looking around the team –his team, standing in the Quinjet, somewhat free. “We’ll try not to hold it against you” Wanda smirks from where she stood, obviously pleased to be wearing a proper shirt now as she emerged from the depths of the Quinjet with you.

“This has been fun” Clint began, clasping Steve by his broad shoulder before continuing “but believe me when I say I am officially retired now”.

It feels odd to you, their exchanges, Steve’s chuckles and responses, Nat’s quiet-self, as if it was holding off a foreboding situation, an imminent tale-tell sign of some horrid event. But you tried to keep that feeling at bay, tried to join them in a moment of joyousness, to believe in Steve.

So you followed him, followed him and Natasha and Sam in saving the world. You helped them by gathering intel about terrorists using alien technology for destruction, helped them bring organizations down.

Like old times.

As if nothing’s changed.

Fast-forward to a year and a half later, where you’re just in the lab of Princess Shuri, the sister of King T’Challa of Wakanda, discussing with her about her latest technology and referencing pop-culture to name her creations when that feeling of dread and ominousness settles in your heart once more, pausing abruptly your laughter with Shuri.

“What’s the matter, (y/n)?” she asked worriedly, settling her hand delicately on your shoulder.

It wouldn’t be fair to admit to her the whole of your worries –she already has enough on her plate, so you shake your head lightly, before telling her “it’s nothing”.

Later that week, you hear word that Steve is coming back to Wakanda for a quick visit, prompting for you to finally ask him what you should’ve asked him back in the Quinjet the day he helped you escape. T’Challa has kindly set up a room apartment for you in his home, giving you privacy that he suspected you needed when you decided to stop being on the run a year ago, too spent in discovering the extent of HYDRA and AIM’s arm-dealers and exploitations.

When you see the familiar outline of the Quinjet emerging into the dome from the window of your apartment, you swallow thickly the lump in your throat.

“Steve, I need to ask you something”

It’s the words he’s been terrified of hearing from you, even though he knew it was inevitable. Sitting across from you in your living room, he prepares himself for… for what, exactly, he wasn’t sure, but he’s certain that the outcome of it would tear him apart, that he would once again go through of losing someone he loves. He can’t show his fears right in-front of you –not now, not ever, because that emotion doesn’t fit to describe him, that fear is not an emotion Steven Grant Rogers should feel. So he bows his head and clasps his hands together (he chucks it to old habits), sighing deeply and quietly before he lifts his eyes to meet yours.

They’re not filled with anger like he anticipated; your eyebrows aren’t furrowed, angry lines proving for the rage simmering beneath your exterior. Instead, he sees pain –pain that’s mirrored his.

And it physically hurts him to see your gaze, a throb deep in his chest the cause of his sudden short breath, his body already so afraid of the storm that’s making its way to his world, threatening whatever happiness that he has left.

You slowly make your way to where he’s sitting –to where he is slowly falling apart on the inside, and take the empty seat right across from him, unaware of his inner turmoil.

The silence engulfs him whole. You don’t know where to start, unsure how to put into words these thoughts and questions without destroying your perception of your leader, your captain, your Steve. Those blue eyes you’ve seen, fell for, swam and now drowning in, held the ultimate truth.

You swallow thickly the lump in your throat and blinking once, breaking the gaze.

“Back before” you began shakily, clearing your throat to will your voice to be strong for just a moment, “when you saved us from the raft” you continued, wringing your hands together now, hyper-aware of his eyes looking straight at you.

There wasn’t a way that this wouldn’t hurt, wouldn’t wound the both of you, wouldn’t damage the dance the two of you had before things happened. There’s sand in your mouth, drying your tongue and throat, the words sinking deeper into your chest, supposedly ignored and avoided.

You closed your eyes and sighed heavily. It can’t be held any longer.

“Steve, what happened?”

The question sounds simple, easy, with the answer direct, but it wasn’t to him. So much has happened that he doesn’t know how to explain it without ruining everything, bursting this protective bubble he’s made you both –made his family, live in.

There’s a whisper luring him, encouraging him to answer you delicately stemmed no doubt from his fear; it mutters sweetly to him to tell you everything but what happened because your question had a loop hole. So much has happened that he can choose to hide the harsh truth from you, from the world.

But that would be wrong. His heart laden with guilt heavier than the responsibilities that’s weighing him on his shoulders.

Choose.

You and honesty, or his pride and arrogance?

He knows the answer. It’s painfully obvious, isn’t it? It is painfully obvious that either answers hold the inevitable; that he will, in the end, lose you too. He knows he should say something by no –he’s been far too quiet for far too long, but he still can’t bring himself to say the words. He’s been preparing himself for this since the beginning, using his missions with Natasha and Sam as an escape, to hold it off for a while so he can savior any moments left with his friends, his family, and you.

He swallows the lump in his throat before speaking.

“Where do you want me to start?”

Tagging: angst royalty babes @alphaabucky @barnes-heaven @buckyywiththegoodhair @captnbarnesrogers @hellomissmabel @heartmade-writingbucky @minervaem @sighodinson @persephonesinferno || permanent babes @sarahp879 @lovely-geek @iamwarrenspeace @httpmcrvel @normalperson1351 @rashinyx2002 @commonarthoe @biglightsbigeyes @marvelouspottering @thoughtsofaromanticfool @renanyx 

If you guys have any requests for a fic, please send an ask. Thank you for reading! 

[lynxandbadger]

hey yall you may or may not have noticed that i havent been on a lot lately and now the mukbang video and some other things in my life have made me decide to go on an indefinite hiatus from tumblr. i might occasionally post an edit or something every now and again, but i wont actually be on reblogging things or anything so see you all again who knows when. i might come back someday or maybe not idk but thanks for being there for me and showing me the phandom side of tumblr, i’ve met some really great people here and if you’re wondering if i mean you, i absolutely do, youre all incredible <3

this will probably get long and for that i apologize, but im a sentimental person and i cant leave without a proper goodbye. im putting it under a readmore so you dont have to suffer through it if you dont want to lol

before i get heavy with the unnecessary backstory, let me just thank you all so much for following me. ive only had this blog for less than a year but you guys have already shown me so much love and that means so much to me. i met a lot of good people here in the phandom and i feel sorry that i never talked to more of you. words dont even begin to cover how thankful i am to have gotten to interact with all of you <3

okay next of all this is not because of something bad, its actually bc i feel like ive outgrown tumblr? lol but like i said this is gonna be long and youre the one who clicked on the readmore so youre committed sorry alsfdkjalgh anyway yo long backstory warning here we go okay so like if you saw that super long reflection post i made like two months or whenever, you will know that i used to have a tumblr four years ago and tldr i left it and put it on a pedestal for all these years and it wasnt until two months ago when i went back through the entire thing that i realized i had just romanticized it blah blah weve been over this. my point is, tumblr for me has always been an escape from real life and a place where i could talk to people because in real life there was no one for me to interact with at all. but now,,,,,,, i dont really need that. im in college. i see and talk to people usually almost every day. im no longer an isolated little girl stuck in her room all day.

now that im in college, i realized i am in control of my own life. things have been happening and ive been doing things ive never even imagined possible. i am a human with one life and its up to me to make it the best life i can. its my birthday today and i am starting on a new decade of my life whether i want to or not. i recently went through a long thought process vaguely how i think the one dan went through when he decided he hated law school and dropped out. prepare yourself for another backstory dump lol. so all my life ive been like told that im so smart and everyone has always expected me to be smart and so i decided to be a chemistry major because ive always like chemistry i guess and wow everyone expects me to do something super “”smart”” like that and theres been so much pressure by people and by myself to live up to this expectation of being an exceptional student and incredibly smart and now im out here being in college and struggling with the reality that im,,,,, not that smart,,,,, and that i dont even enjoy chemistry like i thought i did,,,,,, ive been battling with my own expectations of myself to be this person that ive always expected myself to be my entire life but ive realized now that thats just not realistic. and ive decided that those old expectations just dont matter. im not who i thought i was and thats okay. im trying to learn to accept the past but not let it rule me anymore and just let go. im changing my major and not letting myself be upset that im not living up to who i once thought i would be. id rather be happy and enjoy what i choose for myself than keep up the appearance of who ive always been told to be.

i dont know who i am anymore. i dont know what the future holds. but i do know that im going to stop letting my past define me and just live my life how i want it to be and not how i thought it should be.

and as a result of this, i no longer feel like i need tumblr as a crutch. i used to sit on this website for hours and not be able to stop. now i come on tumblr and get bored within minutes. i thought i would never be able to get off of this site. i thought i would always need it. but i dont think i do anymore.

so goodbye tumblr. weve had some good times, and weve had some bad. this site has seen me through five tumultuous years of my life. ive met some incredible people because of my time here and im honestly glad ive had this website to hold me for all these years. so long and goodnight, tumblr.

embrace the void and have the courage to exist

love,

eloise xoxo

[flameontheotherside]

The Ultimatum

We had a "talk" last night, Vince and I...

Like about how I don't love him enough and he's giving me 2 months to change. He thinks I never loved him and I'm holding the fact he's an addict. Once an addict is always an addict and this includes me... 😑 He doesn't realize that he's traded one drug for another. He said "can't get addicted" and "that" it's not like the heroin he used to take. What he also fails to realize is that at one point I was and become an addict under the influence and of my exs and he's not an exception. He wants me to just drop my past and look to our "future".

What he doesn't know is a lot because about me. I don't want people to feel sorry for me and I don't like when he keeps bringing it up. I know letting shit go is the truth and he has every right to tell me what hurts. It's in every fight or talk we have and now Erik is added to the equation 🙄. He keeps saying or I keep feeling he thinks all I went through is petty compared to his addiction.

Maybe it's my fault he's so ignorant.

He thinks before him, I was whoring myself around like some cheap hooker. No, I was raped. Taken advantage of. It wasn't my fault. I didn't ask for it. I was and I guess still gullible. I used to see only the best in people no matter how many red flags these assholes raised. On top of that, I was trying to fill a void. It was more than wishful thinking. I was specifically and unconsciously looking for Erik. Not some stupid mental fuck up!

There is so much fucked up I've never told anyone because what's the point? People will think I've made it up or looking for attention so they don't take me seriously. Maybe that Im just over exaggerating to make myself a victim. I'm not a victim. I don't use all of my problems as an excuse but he keeps bringing up the amount of crazy I am. He then kicks me where it hurts bringing Erik in to the mix because he "accidentally" saw on my phone the post about Someone Like Erik.

Yeah sure, 😏 I can be a bitch.

Im not fucking Mother Teresa 😇 but I'm not a complete tyrant. Sure, I have my moments and maybe it's triggered. Sure, why not just apologize and act like a happy go lucky an obedient girlfriend. The red flags or change of view happened in 2016 when he blatantly refused to work for 3 months relying on my fat paycheck. He even had the audacity to pressure (or what felt like) me about doing well so I can keep the job. Yeah Im not over it yet. So the fuck what? It's like he still doesn't want to feel responsible anymore. 🙄 He apologized for it, I'm not buying anymore since he fucked up two jobs for reasons of his own. My psychic senses warned him and he ignored me calling me negative.

I had two breakdowns and during all that seeing so many things repeating. Didn't know it was all about Erik. What I didn't realize there where signs. Like everywhere. Eventually I took my ass in to the clinic asking to be admitted. Instead they ask 20 questions and sent me home with medications! Still kept seeing signs and weird dreams. Went back to reading my cards after some time looking answers. They kept hinting; new love, fresh start, twin flame, mediumship, pendulums even and crystals. Still not convinced, I became obsessed with death and then spring 2017 just as I felt my psychic skills would be back, I met Erik "again".

I know it sounds stupid to add the past life Vince raped me.

Seeing that life, remembering how I was taken advantage of in this one, and back again this time he's my boyfriend...that's what the problem is! I can't just drop it in a year or 8 years. He thinks 5 years is enough time to get over all of that! He won't understand if I tried to tell him all of this and it isn't fair. I've never been allowed to take proper care of myself because I was more concerned with trying to forget all of that happened.

Yeah, I told him the truth 😒 , I'm not attracted to him any more. Can't tell him the whole truth probably because I don't show emotions idk 😐... And I just feel like people will think I'm looking for an 🙄 excuse, sympathy, attention and downplay or invalidate. I never told the whole story of life. 😑 He's constantly saying that by now I should be "over it" or drop it because he's had so much patience with me being sick all the time. It's so easy for him. He got family; a better family and emotional providing parents who cared. Growing up I didn't have those things.

😘💞💕❤️ I love yall, stay warm!

Say "hi" to the snow for me. 🤣 I miss that shit...

And thank you for not being sorry for me. Just venting a little so I really appreciate that! 😆😘 Seriously.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and shit. channelingerik.com … And YouTube

There is a new Twin Flame in spirit support forum: Spirit Spouse Support Group check it out!

Get your first Twin Flame/Mediumship reading free and take a look at affordable detailed readings here! (◕‿◕)♡

[stellarspecter]

blease can we have ur director's commentary on the part of long time coming that mirrored LGW ?

author’s notes will be in bold.

sorry if this is the wrong part. i didn’t intentionally write any of this fic to mirror LGW - how could i? the song wasn’t even out yet! so it’s very interesting to me that you draw that parallel. i can see why you’d say that, of course - both deal with jeremy’s reasons for abandoning michael. my reasons are definitely more bullshit than the show, though.

Michael found his former best friend right where Christine had said he’d be: the stairwell in J Hall that no one used because it was so far away from anything else. (it probably goes without saying that i base this high school on my own high school, which hasn’t been majorly renovated since 2009, and they only added a bit of a hallway. my school was built like there was no plan and they lettered the hallways according to no system at all. we have A-G halls, then J, K, L, and T halls. i don’t know what they were thinking.)

He looked like he was writing something on his arm. Michael caught a glimpse of black ink before he interrupted his writing time. (ooh, ~foreshadowing~)

“Hey.”

Jeremy jumped about a foot in the air and rushed to put his pen away and push down his sleeve. When he saw who it was, his eyes hardened.

“Why are you here?” He asked flatly.

“Christine said I should make you see that I’m amazing and I deserve to be back in your life, so.” He shrugged. “I’m doing that. Hopefully.” (haha, sick reference to my first meremine fic lmao)

Jeremy didn’t have much of a reaction to that, so he tried something that almost certainly would. “Why did you leave?” (bullshit reasons, michael. very bs)

Jeremy stayed with his back facing his former best friend. Michael tried again. “Why did you abandon me?” There was still no response. He barrelled on. “Was it because I wasn’t good enough? Because I was boring? Because you cared more about popularity than your best friend?” He let out an ugly laugh. “What a fucking Slytherin. (jeremy is a slytherin and you all can fight me on that. also as soon as i thought of this line i immediately had to find a way to include it.) What was so bad about me that you had to abandon me like that?” He was nearly yelling at this point. “What did I do wrong?” His voice softened to just above a whisper. “How do I fix it?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Jeremy’s voice almost sounded like he had been crying, but that couldn’t have happened. “It was me. You were too good for me.” (here comes the bullshit)

Michael couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Jeremy thought that he was better than him? What? Michael was the one that fell apart as soon as Jeremy left, how could he be too good for him?

“So… you left because you thought you weren’t good enough?”

“That was part of it. Mostly it was because I was tired of being bullied and I cared so much about popularity. I thought if I was popular, I’d be happy.”

Michael swallowed nervously. “And were you?” (when i wrote this and i was trying to think of a reason for jeremy to abandon michael, i came up with this whole thing and i realized, on some level, that it was kind of bullshit but i didn’t really care. i just said fuck it and put it in because i couldn’t think of anything better. rereading this, though, really drives home the point that this makes not a lot of sense and is very bullshit. thanks for coming to my ted talk.)

Jeremy turned to face him. His face was red and blotchy from where he had been crying and Michael was reminded of the time he had to calm him down from an anxiety attack in sixth grade. “How could I be happy without my player one?” (the feels! crying boye. angsty boye. friend boyes again now.)

That was what did it for Michael. He rushed towards Jeremy, arms spread wide for a hug. It was the first time they had touched in four years. The hug was not a disappointment. Maybe it was a little salty and snotty from how hard both of them were crying, but that was a minor discomfort when Michael had just gotten his best friend back.

They ended up sitting down with their backs to the wall, holding each other and asking questions about their lives during the years they had missed.

“Why did you have to stop being friends with me to be popular?”

“I guess I didn’t,” Jeremy realized. “I think I was in such an all or nothing mindset that it always seemed like one or the other, you know? Like, popularity or you. I didn’t realize that I could’ve kept being friends with you and be popular. And honestly, I think the real reason is that I didn’t think I deserved it.”

Michael furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”

“I didn’t think I deserved to have you in my life,” he explained. “I thought that I was a loser and you were this amazing person who somehow wanted to hang out with me and it was all just because I happened to be lucky enough to be seated next to you in kindergarten. I thought that being popular might fix that, but, well. We know how that went.” (why would that fix anything, jeremy? dumbass) (let’s pretend that this isn’t Very Bullshit and try to explain it! jeremy’s mom had just left him and he was feeling very Bad about everything, but especially about himself, blaming himself for his mom leaving. he was definitely struggling with feeling worthless, and needing to amount to something would have been a big concern. well, what’s the only thing that seems to matter to a nerdy loser eighth grader? popularity. he thought that he would be Better once he was popular. maybe he even thought that he could come back to michael. but once he became one of them and learned how they felt about nerdy loser boys, he knew (”knew”) it was all or nothing, popularity or michael. true to his slytherin nature, he chose popularity.)

“Yeah.” Michael was silent for a moment, thinking through all that had transpired in the last hour. “So… does this mean that you want to come over and play Apocalypse of the Damned with me?”

Jeremy smiled. “I would love to. Although,” he added, his smile slipping away, “I haven’t played since eighth grade.”Michael smiled back. “That’s okay. I haven’t either.”

“B-but Michael, that’s your favorite game!” Jeremy looked at him with wide eyes.

“I wasn’t lying about what I said back there. It’s a two-player game,” he said with a gentle smile. “And I couldn’t really find anyone else who would play my lame retro shit with me.”

“Well, lucky for you, I love your lame retro shit,” Jeremy replied. His smile looked a little dopey and it made Michael feel like maybe his feelings weren’t so unrequited after all. He smiled back at his newly acquired old best friend and snuggled further into his embrace. Currently they were huddled up against the wall, Michael nearly in Jeremy’s lap by this point. God, he was glad that discovering he was soulmates with Christine led to rediscovering his best friend. (okay, so this is definitely some bs here. having them be so cuddly and lovey after having not spoken at all for four years? there’s definitely a lot of bitterness and regret and guilt there in a big Hot Mess. even though this is definitely bullshit, i’ll try to justify it by saying that they just want to be back to the “normal” of four years ago and ignoring their glaring problems. just imagine that there is an anger-ridden, angsty conversation that happens not in this fic where they air out all of that Stuff.)

bonus content! here’s some of my planning for this fic:

Soulmate marks only start showing up when you’re 13

Should jeremy or christine be his soulmate first?

With jerm itd have been harder to hide in middle school

And why has christine only just now showed up

Have christine and jerm been soulmates this whole time

So like jerm and chris were soulmates and jerm was also michael’s soulmate or is she new for both of them

Maybe they were always soulmates but she never wrote

But it would be more in character for jerm to never write

Okay well lets just say she’s somehow new and jerm and michael were somehow able to hide it from each other

I mean they would have only had to hide it for less than a year before they stopped talking but still

There were a few months where jerm didn’t write to michael at all bc his mom just left and he stopped believing in soulmates

He never told michael what happened and he only started writing again bc there was absolutely nowhere else to write down these lyrics and he was absolutely going to forget them because it was 2 am

looking over my old planning now, it’s kind of funny how much backstory i obsessed over and never even mentioned in the fic. and the way i planned out the confrontation and the ending didn’t really happen either. i guess writing has a way of doing that - getting carried away by the story and just going where it takes you.