#idk where i'm going with this lmao i might just ending up deleting it

[moonchild-in-blue]

Can someone please either validate me or send me to the Corner of Shame? This is very silly but I'm wondering.

So. I was talking to my sister the other day about movies and such, and she told me of one she recently watched with this one actor. And I casually mentioned how much I hated him. Not in a "he's a bad actor" or "he's a bad person" way. Nothing to do with whether I find him attractive or not. Just in a "he looks the most punchable guy on earth and I have this irrational rage against him" way, to the point that I just can't watch movies with him without being annoyed.

My sister looked at me like I was crazy because, "what do you mean you hate the guy". And I told her yeah? That's normal? Don't you have at least one person you can't stand for no reason?

Sister was like 😬😬😬 No??? Which is wild to me, because I could easily name 50 (which I did - not 50 but we were getting close to 20 before i got too annoyed lmao).

Now she thinks I'm slightly insane (/j) (I made myself angry and may have referred to a few individuals as "stupid" and "obnoxious"), and I kinda don't believe I am the only person alive who feels this way. But also she's an incredibly empathetic extrovert, while I'm a very low empath socially anxious creechur so. There's that?? I guess ?? Idk.

Can anyone relate to this? Or am I the weird one?

Also wait. Little disclaimer: I am not generally a violent person AT ALL. Do i get annoyed and angry easily? Yeah. Do I feel like bitch slapping someone right across their stupid face? Yeah, sometimes, sure. Do I do something about it? Not really.

I can be real bitchy and extra sarcastic and petty SURE, but that's the most I'll do if I am legitimately angry. Mostly I just go to my room and cry 🥺 (crying when angry yes it me). So yeah. Before yall think I have unsolved anger issues.

[imarara]

So, Fallen Hero: Retribution is out, and I'm obsessed.

We have a looooong wait for Fallen Hero: Revelations before us, so I thought we all might get some outlet for talking about all that happened.

MIND YOU, SPOILERS AHEAD

sorry for the lack of proper etiquette (i tried to google that but nothing of substance came up really, so I'm open to all suggestions). If you don't mind being spoiled the whole game, different routes or endings, or don't mind being spoiled, please, indulge me, I'm in my exam month and I cannot think about anything else lmao.

With that out of the way, let's discuss. One last warning, I'm going to be detailed in the descriptions and theories - and I'm starting with the biggest one that comes to mind.

Also, a disclaimer; for the time being I have used only two of my Fallen Hero: Rebirth saves, both of them being a cis woman MC with a woman Puppet, both times with the same eye color. My MCs have never killed and strived to expose truth about corrupted systems. I've replayed Retribution a few times already, trying out different routes in those scenarios to fish out all I can.

1.

After finishing the game by going to Hollow Ground in MC's body, there is something weird going on; weird enough to make Ortega think that MC and HG are blood-related. I've only played as a female, but I've read somewhere that HG's gender is dependent on the gender of out MC (though I'm not sure how it is when the MC is trans, whether HG is of the gender we are after transition or before, or even how it is with nb MCs).

As mentioned above, MC's and Puppet eyes are the same color - green. During Heartbreak, MC looks the telepath straight in the eyes. They are too, green.

It might be a very suspicious coincidence, but I do not think so. My first theory is that Heartbreak actually is our Puppet. The body is found is the hospital, comatosed, forgotten for years, no family ties and as MC puts it, it's a shell.

It is heavily hinted during interactions with Lady Argent, that the MC won't know everything the body is capable of, at least after there is the possibility of probbing consciousness of the host - which the Puppet lacks.

I've read that something weird begins happening to Puppet just at the end of Rebirth, if Mortum is with you in the hospital. In Retribution, there are constant reminders that something is off with Puppet, and at the very end in numerous routes it is HEAVILY suggested that the Puppet calling our henchperson is not MC.

If Chen let's the MC go into his head after Puppet and Ortega get into the accident, we find out that HG either is or works with, but probably is, a very powerful telepath with ability to influence what people say (maybe even think) about them, which is also hinted at when MC themselves goes into a meeting with HG.

HG has been a kingpin in LD for over 20 years at the time of Retribution. Our MC is made in the late eighties, which makes them around 30. My guess would be that HG might have been the source of their genes at that time, as well as Heartbreak's. Or, HG and Heartbreak have similar genes.

Heartbreak's age was not established as far as I know. HG is a very private person, that would not be too far-fetched to think they wouldn't try to out themselves for, let's say, getting back the body of their comatosed child.

I'd think that Heartbreak could be a Re-Gene as well, but there is something off - Ortega found somebody's files, somebody looking like MC, somebody's that was jailed (and we know government and the Farm are rather close), and in the memory sequences there are memories that do not belong to MC.

One that strikes me the most is a mention of a parent and a ballon - i might be completely wrong here, but I think there is one painting of a ballon tangled in a tree somewhere. I will find where it is and then will update this post.

Also Heartbreak's and Shroud's (they fight Lady Argent at the Casino Auction) descriptions are very similar if I recall correctly. It's just something that caught my attention, so there.

Aaaalso, it's very suspicious that MC always ends in the accident if they go to HG's meeting, ant then they cannot reach Puppet. Seems like someone is pulling the strings, and it is most possibly not HG themselves.

Additionally, neither Steel or Ortega seems to know what exactly Heartbreak was, and MC tbemselves struggled to look at the telepath, so it is possible they would not recognize Puppet. Though then again Ortega saw somebody's file with photos similar to the MC, and if it was Heartbreak's then the Puppet would have to be the same gender as well, so that's not exactly a foolproof theory.

2.

We know Locus, who is officialy missing, is connected to Dr Regina experiments. Dr Regina is heavily implied to be behind MC's trauma. We don't know if Locus is officially working with the Farm, or was she officially missing because she's got taken by them and then ran away from them.

Dr Mortum at one point, seemingly, mentions Locus. In some endings (probably when we give her the prototype Lady Argent was after) they say something very similar to what MC would say when questioned about their time at the Farm after Heartbreak, something along "doing things for the name of science".

We also know they aren't exactly an example of sound morals.

3.

WHAT IS IT ABOUT MORTUMS GUN, I WASN'T ABLE TO TRY IT OUT YET

4.

So, Lady Argent's nanovores tried healing her. I just know it will be a turning point in the future, and Mortum will probably make it or break it.

I'll be trying to add some stuff later, bit rn it's 1AM and I have two projects to finish and deliver before 9am, so please discuss with me 😭

[golbrocklovely]

Twitter is trying to cancel SnC yet again I see.

If I were SnC I would literally just delete all my twitter profiles except for their channels twitter which I'd then use ONLY for promoting when new videos drop. Just so the twitter fans can learn that they aren't as important as they seem to think they are because those boys are nearly at 12 million subscribers on youtube, twitter is but a mere handful of that subscriber count so it really wouldn't matter if they all decided to stop watching.

(plus the video they're all angry at is actually performing very well, it's already at 2M views on just day 2 of releasing. This suggests a lot of the fandom may not share twitters opinions...)

i don't see snc deleting their twitters, but i do see them continuing to not use them and just letting them sit dormant bc that side of the fandom is too dramatic.

i've said my peace on this 100 times over, but i don't mind saying it again bc it keeps happening and no one over there is getting it lol

not that i'm telling them either since most of them i have blocked or they have me blocked lmao

that side of the fandom has cried wolf one too many times and now expects snc to still listen to them. and look, back in 2020/21, maybe that would have happened. bc twitter held a lot more stock back then. but not anymore. they thought they could call out snc for every little thing and expect them to always listen and for all of the fandom to agree. and reality is that just won't fly anymore.

were there genuine reasons to call them out before in the past (and even now)? sure. i'm not here to argue that. but what i am saying is once everyone jumped over the line in the sand and started getting mean and calling them out for nonsense things, idk what you expected to happen.

it's one thing to complain about content and what's going on in it or that it's taking too long to get new content out. it's another thing to bitch about their gfs and say they shouldn't date them, or in general to bring up personal shit.

where our input starts and ends is content related, and that's it. anyone that thinks they have a say in what snc do in their own personal lives are delulu. it doesn't matter if you believe you have their best interest in mind, your input is unwanted. that's just reality.

also i think a lot of ppl on twitter think they speak for everyone in the fandom but they fail to realize that this fandom has 12 mil ppl in it (roughly). even if one of the louder fans on there has a 1000 followers, that's not even 1% of the entire fandom. that's not even .01%. that's how little the amount of ppl you speak for.

my thing is, all of this complaining and drama started in january, around colby's bday, when the pics of them with the girls leaked. and since then, this fandom and that side in particular hasn't shut up since. and look, obviously not everything is about the girls and not everyone is even complaining about the girls. i'm not trying to cast wide nets here and assume. but… be honest: yall have been complaining for WEEKS about a variety of things, ranging from them having gfs that might be clout chasers to snc not talking about a genocide, and somehow…….. i'm supposed to take any of that seriously??? snc are supposed to take that seriously??? those are two VERY different things, no?

but hey, you wanna be upset at snc for whatever reason, be my guest. i'm not here to stop you. do whatever you want. but at what point do you just accept that snc aren't gonna meet your demands and thus your only option is to leave?? just curious. and are you okay with the fact that just bc you leave doesn't mean anyone is gonna miss you, including snc? harsh reality is snc don't know who you are, and that's not bc you don't deserve to be known - they just realistically don't know you, and you leaving isn't gonna do anything.

but if you aren't enjoying your time here, leave. it's better in the long run to pay attention to something that actually brings you happiness rather than stick around and be miserable.

[foxgloveinspace]

wow those are really interesting! The smell one almost reminds me of synesthesia, or a olfactory hallucination. For the first one, like a signal in the brain getting tied to a different signal. a floral smell for them sounds so sweet. they feel comforting to me like floral.

the vessel figure is wild. the fact that you saw a hooded figure with his mouth exposed. I know there's kinda archetypal figures people tend to see in various brain things, like dreams, or drug trips, or I'd expect its the same with migraine auras. A general cloaked figure sounds universal enough, but one with a mouth exposed is so specific.

it's SO interesting that you mention ADHD though because almost every single Sleep Token fan I've talked to is neurodivergent or could plausibly be. Specifically autism or ADHD. Could just be that we all hyperfixate, and that makes us superfans of things we love. But idk it feels special, like we're drawn to it. I have ADHD myself.

another commonality is sleep problems, odly enough. and finding Sleep Token calming and helping one sleep.

For my opinion on witchy stuff, I'm not an expert or anything I know little bits. Like how their logo is a combination of Germanic runes that invoke certain things. There was an old since deleted post by then about it, so it's basically confirmed. Or I heard that the runes corresponding to the Sundowning songs could theoretically be invoked every time the song is played.

also the music just feels magical??

Every person seems to have a different interpretation of the lore and the overarching story, if there is any. Many of them seem to be about love or romance in some way.

My pet headcannon/theory is that Vessel is looking for his soulmate who he knew in a past life. and the runes and any magic is for that purpose.

(First Ask)!!!!!!! Yes!!

Ok I agree with like a lot of your points in this ask, just to say that off the bat, but it’s me so I’m gonna get into it lmao:

So the thing is, I Do Actually have synesthesia, But I Do Not Have Smell/Sound, I have texture/Taste!! So that’s the weird thing about it! It is actually pretty comforting?? I’m trying to figure out what scent it actually, cause it’s just really nice. It might be a perfume that I’ve smelled in the past and started associating it with them (in which cause I think it might be floral marshmallow which is a dupe for some high end perfume). But like I said if it’s ends up being forget-me-nots (which I don’t think so) I’m gonna freak out. But they have a very light scent and I can’t find them anywhere😵‍💫

That’s the weird thing about all of it tho, is that it very well could be all of the things that I have already (migraines, adhd, synesthesia) but it’s like it’s different symptoms that I’ve Never had before??

Like the hooded figure wouldn’t be that big of a deal, but I never see figures!! I only see green and purple flashing splotches, even in my Worst Migraine I’ve Ever had, where I completely Lost My Vision, I only say neon purple and green. So too see, specifically, Hooded Man With Mouth, while listening to The Summoning?? Weird.

And yeah, I have adhd, and honestly?? Yeah. I think it is all of us nero-spicy gals and bois finding a band that itches the static in our brains, lol. They really combine a lot of nerodivergent peoples favorite genres, metal, dark techno/house, lo-fi, piano, rap and sometimes even something that sounds jazzy. It’s legit like they took every music thing I love and shoved it into one, of course my/all of our adhd brains is gonna eat that shit up lmao. It feels really special tho.

Also, yeah I have hella sleeping issues, but I have yet to let myself listen to them while going to sleep (mostly cause I know once I start I won’t be able to go back) BUT!! I have never been a person who can meditate, and I was able to while listening to them!! So that’s a thing lol.

I’m not a big expert on ruins either, but I know most witchcraft is putting your intentions in something. So if he put heavy intentions into the ruins when he first drew them, then yeah it’s doing something. I did vaguely know something about the main logo/ruin, but not much. (I actually don’t know What it’s supposed to invoke?? Just thinking about Sleep/Sleep Token?? Lol) but I think it’s Really Cool that they use real runes sometimes, cause even if they aren’t for magic purposes, just aesthetics, they are still using an old language for something new and I always like stuff like that lmao.

And I love your little headcanon at the end that’s so sweet.

[jinkookspencil]

so.... i think i've decided to take a turn with my fics.

minors dni with this post

i think i'm staying away from writing smut. i will still write borderline smutty and suggestive things (i have sooo many of those i want to write) but it won't reach the point of them going through the whole "process" if you know what i mean. talking about s3x, the lead up, and the aftermath i'm okay with but the actual... "happening" when they "reach a certain point" is what i'd like to stay away from.

i can't explain it idk if this is a passing feeling but i've been pretty sure about this for a few months now, to the point where i'm considering doing something about my current, uploaded smuts.

the fics that would be affected are:

don't be so gentle

game night (i'd likely delete a paragraph only)

take off your glasses (this one is making me reconsider the whole decision lmao >.< so i might leave it until i figure out how to rework it i'll likely delete a huge chunk)

the only smut that will stay safe is a better grip because it's a chubby girl smut <33333

when i do write smutty things going forward they will be more in the style of:

comfortable, bare, and hungry (fluff but they're naked post-s3x)

this love (making out heavillly and his hand is in a certain place :))

no pyjamas (the fic ends suggestively after he's already making out with her and they're both turned on - might get the axe if i end up feeling even stronger about this)

i'm not sure if there's a certain etiquette, but: should i edit my fics or should i delete them entirely (& possibly reupload as a less smuttier version?) is there a "proper" way to go about it? in either case i'd make it clear (this is an edit/reupload)

i don't know when i'd do this, i have a smutty thing i want to upload (might post it for a bit then delete it or i might just leave it up since it involves curvy readers and we need more curvy reader fics) but i just thought i'd ask while it was on my mind also if u see me upload smut in the future after all this... just... respectfully.... mind ya business and remember the hold these men have over us kskjwdnjkwe

so yeah lmk please <3 sorry if this is disappointing to anyone, it's disappointing to me too, they're literally among my most popular fics but... i can't shake this feeling

also my other 2 requests wips are coming! one is done i'm just waiting a bit before uploading since i just uploaded one recently

[dumplingsjinson]

sooooo, i know i said i wasn't going to post anything personal, at least in regards to my dating life, on here but lo and behold! i'm a liar, but the person who found out about this account might never go onto my blog again (if you're here for some reason then hi? idk why you'd come back here but okay. i hope you're okay. and if you're not, i hope you will be okay. and also, this is NOT about the long distant guy that maybe one or two of you are familiar with). so, here goes: we broke off whatever it was that was going on. i don't like them back that way, and i don't see myself liking them back that way in the foreseeable future.

so we broke it off on good terms.

we're not going to talk anymore, and it definitely will take time getting used to since we did text back and forth everyday for the past two months, up until today. it will take time to get used to not seeing their name on my phone constantly, or waking up to their messages, but it'll eventually go back to how it used to be, when we never spoke before.

i admittedly do feel a little empty as of right now, which is a me issue entirely. maybe i'm dealing with the sadness of losing a connection i've made with someone? maybe i don't deserve to feel this sadness. i don't know. there was definitely a bit of a connection there, though ephemeral, even if it wasn't a romantic one. i think (i know) i'll be okay, and i really, really hope they'll be okay, too (because rejection doesn't feel good. it's never an easy pill to swallow, knowing you're not the one for that someone. it doesn't feel good to reject someone, either).

i think it'll be good for the both of us in the long run.

i'm still processing this whole thing, but i think it'll be okay soon. :) and i hope they find someone who will like them back, just as much, and if not, more, because they're someone who truly deserves that.

goodbyes aren't easy, and they hurt even when it comes to short-term bonds that were formed. that's all i can say.

(also that whole unmatch thing rant in which i've deleted by now is because i got my feelings hurt for like a day, and then i got over it really quick lmfao. i was talking to some other guy i matched with, and we vibed for a few days, and then he unmatched while we were setting up the date and that hurt translated into frustration and anger and a bruised ego, but i'm okay now, and to whoever said it was a bad break up or something - it wasn't lmao, i was just being a little wuss and had to vent. but i will die on the hill on how you're an asshole if you unmatch without any explanation, especially when you're in the middle of setting up a date. you're just bad at communication and it really, really shows. please work on that if that's what you do to other people, because it's never fun being on the receiving end of being basically ghosted.)

anyway, i'll try to post another prompt list tonight. these babies are pre-written, so my mood right now's not gonna affect them aha.

i will probably post more of my love life (read: online hoe life) again to the one person who bothers reading this shit, simply because nothing's stopping me, and i ALSO am NEVER going to be so dumb to accidentally give too many hints and reveal my tumblr like that to someone ever again lmfaooo. my mask stays ON, bitches!!

(and on an entirely different note that's not so fucking depressing and also very non-serious, i'm going on a date this sunday, and we're going to have oysters lmfao - i might end up calling him oyster dude - but i also don't have much expectations lmfao. they did ask me if we're still on for sunday just earlier today, and i said yes, but i'm prepped for getting unmatched outta no where because some of you men are Cowards. aNYWAY.)

this was a rollercoaster and a very undelightful mess, i'm tired, i have to wake up at 5:30 am tomorrow for work, two of my brackets came fucking loose so i have to go to the ortho on monday to get that fixed, and i lowkey wanna die because of that, goodBYEEE.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

BTS!! Don't Hurt Yourself

BTS: Write a dvd commentary about a passage from the fic (I cannot pic a fav so I'm just gonna give any old passage, I chose this one because I have a fun backstory about when I wrote it)(Full disclosure I own dvds but its been so long since I watched dvd commentary that I don't really remember what it's like so I'll just talk about the passage and how I made the decisions I did and how it came about, you know, the making of the passage.)

Spicy. alright I can do spicy.

Stede had always thought that a desire to hurt another individual out of malice or hatred was something that was intended to be done without their consent, that it would be dampened by the thought that the other person was into it. He was somewhat surprised to find that Izzy’s openly asking for it did not cheapen his own sadistic pleasure in giving the bastard what he deserved.

And he did deserve it, Stede decided as he pressed the head of his cock into Izzy’s tight, wet cunt. Izzy deserved to get smacked around and spat upon. Not just for the stunt with the blow job and the secret phone call, but also for calling Edward a whore, and a twat, and every other unkind derogatory thing he’d said in that courtroom and out, and for being generally an unpleasant, nasty little man that no one wanted to be around, and for causing Ed so much grief.

First of all, Bonnet, you are also causing Ed grief by fucking his husband but I digress

anyway. Backstory: This is from Chapter 7 of Don't Hurt Yourself. A chapter which I slaved away on for I think about two months, because I had written up to the point where Stede and Izzy Yaoi prat fall onto each other and Stede ends up with Izzy's tit in his hand or whatever, and I had no idea where to go from there ie how to get Stede's cock in Izzy's cunt in a way that was at least realistic enough for me to be satisfied with it.(emotional realities not physical realities, as is my right as an ofmd fic author, David Jenkins school of writing ect.) It's a problem I have with writing both Jack/Stede and Izzy/Stede, I have to seamlessly bring them from bitching at each other like they do in the show to fucking each other. Its not as easy as it sounds.

The breakthrough of the writers block came for me the same night I did magic mushrooms for the first time. My dealer told me that they would take about 3 hours to kick in (they took half that amount of time) and I was like, well I have three hours to spare so I might as well try to bang out a couple paragraphs. (it was the day I posted "why is it so much easier to write when the edible is about to kick in" It was not an edible I was waiting on. Idk why I said edible I regularly admit to drugs on here lmao.) So I managed to write a lot of the dialogue and then these two paragraphs. But the shrooms kicked in as I was finishing up the last paragraph, which meant that I ended it with some absolutely inebriated drivel about the word fuck and how it's used to convey both hate (e,g. shut the fuck up, fuck you) and sex that I had to delete when I was sober and I very rapidly lost the ability to write after that.

Anyway now that the fun back story is out of the way let's actually talk about what's happening in these two paragraphs. Stizzy hate sex! Stede and Izzy are sometimes hard to make fuck because Stede simply does not think about him, but they're also incredibly fun to make fuck. Muppet vibes off the charts especially when they're doing bdsm (which is the only kind of sex Izzy knows how to have). Miss Piggy slapping Kermit energy but they're not married.

I also tend to think Stede has a dark side. He's as mean as he is nice and he's real fucking nice. I love it when he's evil, because I'm horny about evil men. I think if Stede would think about Izzy long enough he could get dark with it (a vibe which is not incompatible with muppetry broaden your horizons for the possible.) and I think the only way to make him think about Izzy long enough is to have Izzy wrong Ed and make it clear to Stede that Ed was wronged and put Izzy in Stede's direct line of sight.

Basically, I want Stede to have hate sex and I want him to realize he's a sadist. I tried to convey that here. I think that Stede as a character has the capacity for so much love and so much hate. It's an important balance to strike when writing him, if you go too far in one direction you turn him into an unrecognizable monster (which I've seen certain people do) but if you go too far in the other he becomes an unrecognizable woobie baby which is so fucking boring dude. I hope I got across his sadist awakening well. he still needs a second one where you learn you can do it to people you like tho...

The ask meme

[cyrsed]

Hi im sorry for this! I know that its a bit of the blue but would it be okay if you can check my pinned post? Literally anything helps at this point. I’d appreciate whatever support can possibly be given. Pls consider sharing if its fine ❤️

just in case anyone else is getting these messages, i was going to send money because i typically like to assume good intentions and i would rather pay the occasional scammer than withhold money that i can survive without from people who need it, but i do try to do my due dilligence since i don't want to spread misinformation or cause anyone who follows me to donate to a scam, and this became suspicious very quickly

at first i was inclined to believe it because:

like i said i try to assume people are telling the truth

having a url related to artemis is a very tumblr(tm) thing to have

this person has their twitter linked in their bio, which seemed like a bold move if they're a scammer

the phone number of the vet office is linked in the post

but i noticed a couple things that made me suspicious:

the tumblr was made this month

the content on the tumblr looks very much like someone just searched "artemis" on tumblr and reblogged a bunch of random posts

i searched on twitter using the "from:[username]" method just plugging in their twitter handle and searching words like "cat", "vet", "binx", etc., and there was no mention of anything related to this post (not sure if the twitter is just some rando that they're pretending is their twitter, or if it's actually the scammer. it might be someone they just based the tumblr off of tbh)

this one i'm not sure about, but when i put the paypal address into paypal, it says that they will receive my donation in the form of philippine pesos/pisos(?). i don't know much about like. how paypal works/how money works lmao, so idk if there's a scenario where maybe the paypal belongs to, say, a family member who has a bank account in the philippines but is in the US or something? but it gave me pause when taking into account the other potentially suspicious stuff given that the vet is supposedly in michigan

so anyway i ended up reverse image searching the vet bill since there's plenty of vet bills if you just image search "photo of vet bill" and it turns out this scammer has used the same story recently with a different paypal (linking to some random person's blog, so if this link breaks bc they changed their url/deleted the post sorry haha)

they use one of two paypal addresses: porrask069@gmail.com undissmith@gmail.com

if you search either of those paypal's on tumblr, you can see other people calling them out for scamming

[noblechaton]

so ultimately I really enjoyed season 5 as a whole and think it might be my new favorite season of ml in general since most episode were bangers and the finale eps weren't really any different lmao

but there's two elements that - like other folks I've seen - are kinda bugging me and bog it down a good bit I feel and I kinda wanna ramble about em. ml spoilers below (no salt tho I am complaining somewhat)

the first thing was something I'd caught a glimpse of just before I passed out last night thanks to some lovely blogging from a few mutuals and that I caught onto midway thru the second part of the finale and that is of course the weird attempt at seemingly redeeming? Gabriel in some capacity

now of course he's not at all redeemed to us, the audience, and it doesn't feel like a redemption so much as like. absolving him? but either way like....why at all? 5 seasons (2 specials and a video game too) across like 8 years I feel sorta showed that the guy legit could not be redeemed, especially S5 itself with multiple instances of him doing just. unforgivably heinous things to everyone including that son of his he kept talking about protecting and like for a time in the show maybe I could have seen that path where he was genuinely doing this to improve Adrien's life but that was tossed a long time ago lmao, he's actively tormented Adrien more than anything and that's without factoring in his beatings of Chat Noir, threats towards Marinette, etc.

Gabriel sacrificing himself at the end was something I sorta always knew was coming bc nothing else really made sense. no way he'd go to jail, he couldn't just be absolved of all he'd done and there was no real other option and yet they tried to absolve him anyway?? not to mention how little sense I feel it makes for Adrien to believe this in the least after even just the last few episodes, let alone the season and then some

Paris in general treating Gabriel like a hero sucks - most of the class at least should know better - and while I think there's a chance it'll lead to some juicy drama between Marinette knowing the truth and Lila knowing what she knows, one of them feels bound to take it to Adrien, I'm concerned it'll just be a flat point never to be addressed again

now I've often felt the show is more clever than ppl give it credit for but idk. something about it just feels weird and wrong and not just bc of what it is on the surface - Marinette building a lie into her relationship with Adrien is fascinating and it should absolutely come up in the future, but I'm worried it won't

and the reason I'm worried is bc of how Adrien was handled in the finale - in that he wasn't really handled at all

I understand that the story had him locked up in a cube, I get that he was purposefully tossed aside by that same father he supposedly believes is heroic now but like....why did we get nothing from him past him forfeiting the ring? why did he give up so easily? why was he a total nonentity in the finale of what is, essentially, his arc? in this story that has the most bearing on Adrien, Adrien himself was just....gone for most of it, arguably all of it

I feel like it flies counter to a lot of what the show's been doing especially lately with him in how Adrien is basically stripped of any and all agency by the end of the finale and honestly I hate it lol. him having no say on anything, no knowledge of anything or any real reaction to....anything that happened. we don't see him really react to the lie of what his father did, to Nathalie being returned to health or to the mysterious blonde woman at the pool who may or may not be his actual mom (the storyboards and deleted scene apparently confirm it was, at least, at some point), we don't even see him get his ring back. like I wasn't expecting a reveal at this point - I don't think we're gonna get one tbh - but....nothing??

which is part of why I feel the stuff at the end with him and Marinette in the garden - while very nice and cathartic after 8 years of watching - felt so off, almost hollow. Adrien didn't really get to be a character in the finale and just sort of reappears to finally kiss Marinette again? that's it? he's all smiles and sunshine again after being genuinely, undeniably tortured by his father that he again somehow believes is heroic in some manner? huh??

I think I'd feel better about things if we at least got his reaction to things - if he somehow rolled up on his destroyed house or found Nathalie walking around under her own power or w/e but there's just nothing. like he's an action figure that got lost under the bed for a bit. and again there's a chance we get some of that next season but like, not only do I think we shouldn't have to but I also see it as less likely than the Gabe stuff proving to be a plotline since that feels much more like a lingering presence that sorta needs to be dealt with and honestly Tomoe needs to be dealt with too idk how Kagami could ever go back to her after this

which really has me excited about season 6 more than I was - I admittedly kinda groaned when they revealed there'd be more seasons since I knew about the 5 season arc (especially since main villain Lila did not interest me in the least at the time lol, and still kinda doesn't tbh) but if I'd sorta softened on the decision across the last few years, I've fully turned around with this - so long as they address some of this stuff going forward at least bc I feel like if nothing else there's some really juicy drama and story potential in the Gabriel lie coming undone

ultimately again I loved this season and felt the finale was appropriately crazy - the kwamis in their ultimate forms, Gimmi's appearance, Bug Noir and the fight across the mansion, it all worked really well imo and there was a lot of payoff still in the finale even if I feel they didn't really stick the landing with a couple of rough edges and odds and ends hanging out

I also wanna say that I kinda like the ideas I've seen floating around about how the epilogue might not be what it seems - that Gabriel's wish wasn't so pure in nature, it kinda fits him to warp reality in just such a way after all but idk if that's what's going on here for sure yet. think it'd make a really cool twist if that evil AU special thingy came straight off of this tho, or if we got midway thru S6 and it's like, oh dang we're living a total fabrication!! I love stuff like that lol

also also ngl I am not excited about the whole team being back at all in any capacity lol. think a smaller team - which would now be Ladybug, Chat, Carapace, Rena, Ryuko and Argos maybe - just works better

also also also - addendum that ties into the Adrien stuff - it feels really weird that Chat Noir wasn't present at all during Monarch's defeat right? like. idk that just doesn't sit well with me, like he should have had some impact there, some role. maybe he could have broken out and given Ladybug the ring himself (albeit in a mask or something) or done literally anything. idk. really weird

[bonebirds]

im not trying to start anything i'm just curious when you said people are doing the work to make the internet safer etc what do you mean??

I'm not trying to start shit either, I'm just tired of absorbing it tbh.

I'm also drained to shit and tired and idk how coherent this is going to be but I need something to gnaw on, so, dear anon!

Discussions of child abuse and etc. under the cut but nothing specific/detailed.

In a very, very general sense, I was talking about cybersecurity writ large -- very passionate, very smart furries people are constantly trying to futureproof the internet and make it safe to use. But that is happening at a massive scale -- governments, policies, standards, corporations who are responsible for the data and securing it, etc. etc.

There are also those who advocate for, and try to teach people how to be safe online and protect their information/self/friends/etc. I went for a walk earlier and it did strike me that I might be incredibly lucky to have been born when I was -- I think I'm one of the last generations who went through a school curriculum where I grew up that included basic internet safety, because the internet was very new and there was an actual concerted push to protect minors using it. Internet literacy was a thing. Lying was expected to keep yourself safe. I told so many people I was 25 when I was like, 9. Real names and all that shit we're so used to now, that whole web 2.0 shift to social media (imagine me putting airquotes around that entire phrase pls) changed a lot about the web. I think if you grew up just baked in it, it's harder to step back and look at and be like, the fuck happened? but. The fuck did happen.

But the other things I was thinking of are ones like Project Arachnid. Or the folks behind this: Inside the Bitcoin Bust That Took Down the Web’s Biggest Child Abuse Site.

(There's another anon I just deleted who asked what ~*I personally do other than scold people*~ and I will say that a year ago I contacted Arachnid, asked where I would have to go career wise to end up working with them, and changed my fucking career to ops/cybersec. Don't tell me I am not doing shit, lmao.)

But there are dedicated professionals constantly, constantly trying to keep everyone safe from actual malicious actors. And it is not a straightforward problem when you're dealing with issues of privacy, data security, transparency, and technology that is upgrading fast enough I had to take a crash course in fucking quantum computing a couple years ago.

None of that has anything to do with what people on this site go at each other for. Which is why I sit here and look at the fucking tides of vitriol and bullshit in the name of "protecting kids" over ships, fucking fictional ships they equate as 1:1 with horrendous abuse and damage, and go, just... no. That is not where the fight is happening for anyone, not really. And like I said, you can take that actual, valid, real concern for people's safety and actually do something concrete to help. (That said, this ain't about those who just don't want to see it for their own safety and health -- you gotta protect yourself that way, too! If it's a trigger, it's a trigger!)

But whatever the fuck is happening here on social media is not the fucking fight.

[vapemaster42069]

🤡 ⛔ 🦅

:D hello!!

🤡: i have a little unposted thing imma stick under a readmore below because i was hysterically giggling the entire thing i wrote it and idk if i'll ever post it lols. here: !!

⛔: oh my gosh, so many. i'm notorious for starting fics and never completing them because of one reason or another; usually i lose inspiration or get a new idea to hop on. most recently, i was planning a 20+ chapter fic that i had about a half planned and a third written that follows a scarian life series+hermitcraft timeline. mainly, i wanted to write the angst bc that's waht i enjoy lols. (ok so. respongin to this actually inspired me to finish a scene so i might end up posting at least one part somewhere lmao, can always rely on you for inspo :] ). uhh, another one was just a party during the hc/empires crossover, one was a jrwi riptide hamlet au, there was a thanatos backstory thing that was Very similiar to Kaladin from TWoK if you're into that, there was a southlands coffeeshop/pottery class thing, much ado twelfth night au because i thought the convolution was funny, and a lot of chatfic-style crack stuff that i live for but will Never see the light of day

🦅: depends on the fic! i have a doc where i scribble down ideas, quotes, or good sentences, so sometimes i'll go off that and ball with whatever strikes inspiration, but i do have a tendency to do specific au's where i know where it's going! (rip jrwi twelfth night au draft you will be missed. ao3 draft deletion hates me fr). kinda off-topic but i feel like i frequently have a starting point and an ending point, especially for longer works, and i have a really hard time filling in the in-between scenes! probably, i should outline more than i do lmao.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Joel, have you gotten shorter?"

"I- What? No!"

"No, I swear you look shorter." Grian paused and backed up, looking him up and down quizzically. He rubbed his chin to hide the quirk of a smug smile. "Scar, come look at Joel. Does he look any shorter to you?"

Scar, who had been slowly picking the leaves off of a plant, wheeled around. "Hey, yeah, he does, now that you mention it!"

"Scar!"

"Weren't you like 11 foot last time I saw you? You only look like 10'8 now," He leaned back in his chair, lifting a hand as well to scratch at his beard.

"Must have taken out the lifts in his shoes," Grian nodded sagely.

"Grian!"

"Little Timmy's rubbing off on you now, Joel--"

"I do not have lifts in my shoes!"

"--Every time you visit him, you get smaller."

"I do not-- I am not-- wait! I'm 11 foot, still!" 

"It's okay, Joel," Grian couldn't hide the amused lilt in his voice, "Us short kings have to stick together."

"Us-- HUH? I am not a short king!"

"What's this about short kings?" Sausage, ever with good timing, strolled around the corner and casually leaned on a fencepost next to Grian, propping an elbow on his shoulder. He leaned over and promptly toppled over with a yelp when the unsupported pole moved, before Grian hopped out of the way, grabbing him before he could smack his head on the ground. "I love sho-- waAAAH-- thank you, Grian--I love short kings. I am a short king! What do you have against short kings, Thunder Cheeks?"

"Hold on--"

"Nothing, Sausage! I'm just not one!"

"--Thunder Cheeks?" Grian squeaked.

"Oh, yeah, Joel's Thunder Cheeks, or Thunder Daddy! When his cheeks clap, thunder happens!"

"... I don't know how to respond to that,"

"Which cheeks?"

"Scar!"

"Whichever ones you want to,"

"Joel."

"That an offer?"

"Scar."

"Only if you want it to be,"

"Joel, I swear to god,"

Sausage giggled, his eyes alight. He had, evidently, already had his third cup of coffee today, based on his buzzy hands as he spoke. "You know what we gotta do, the four of us, is go to my tavern sometime! It could be like a double date, I'll show you a dance!"

"Like a-- no, Sausage, we aren't-- I mean, I haven't--" Grian could feel his face burning, "Scar, back me up here,"

"I'd love to go on a double date with you, Sausage! Would Joel and Grian be together, then?"

"Uhh. I mean, sure! Totally..." Sausage sideyed Grian, who looked away, desperately fanning his face to try to ease his blushing. It wasn't working very well, "So, you and I, and Grian and Joel! it's a date!"

"A double date! Oh my gosh, Grian, I'm so excited, we gotta get you out of that red sweater and into something snazzy?"

"I-- Scar, I look so snazzy in this sweater!"

"I mean," Scar wiggled his fingers at Grian, his eyes lighting up, "You're adorable with it on--" Grian squeaked. "--but not formal, like for a date! Come on, let's get dressed up all fancy!"

Sausage clapped his hands, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Ooh, Scar, I might have this beautiful vest that might fit you, if you need one? The color would really pop on you."

"Oh, maybe! I could show you the shirt I had in mind, if you'd like!"

"I'd love to! Oh my goodness I'm so excited, maybe we could match shirts..." Sausage trailed off as he dragged Scar away by the hand, grinning, going a nerve-wracking speed down one of the hills surrounding Sanctuary, towards the nether portal.

"In about 5 seconds we're going to hear a crash, aren't we,"

"Most likely." Joel turned to Grian, a smug look on his face. "Anyways, Grian."

"Don't you dare."

Joel grinned, crouching down to his height. Grian scowled. It was a bit funny, as Joel was approximately 6 feet taller than Grian was, so he was fully doubled over in a squat to meet his eyes. "Got your eyes on someone, pretty bird?"

Grian covered his face, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes. "Joel, I swear to god--"

"I won't tell him!” Grian looked up at him.

“Promise?”

“Promise. But I can’t guarantee I won't never blackmail you for it,”

Grian sighed. “I guess that’s all I can hope for,”

“Are you– is it that uncomfortable to go on a double-date with him there? Because, I mean, I could invite some other Empires members too if you think it’d help. Make it more like a server party than a date?”

“That–” Grian paused, looking extremely relieved, “I don’t want to ruin it for you and Sausage, but that would be a lifesaver, I think.”

“Then it’s done! We can probably drag Timmy in, and if he comes, Tango and Scott will come, which will get Oli, and Sausage can get Keralis, which means Jev will come, and I can probably get Lizzy, who will get Doc and Impulse, and– Well, we can figure out the specifics later, I’ll text Sausage.”

Grian sighed. "Well, what are you wearing?"

"Uhh. This?"

"You're wearing that to our date? Wow, Joel. I see how it is," Grian mock-pouted.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" Joel startled, playfully indignant.

"It's not bad, you just wear it every day!" Grian winked, "Let's get snazzy."

[themagicruby]

i'm tripping for the first time in a while on a p low dose of an rc and im like out of the peak where i was just playing dragon age inquisition and i cannot decide if i should smoke marijuana or not like logically i know it is very synergistic and will make me peak again but also..... will it make me more sleepy or not probably not but also maybe it will. i also think that i could probably take half a klonopin to dampen the effects if i needed cause the rc im on is often compared to shrooms in effect and structure (ofc i know it's its own thing) but ppl say that benzos decrease the effects of psilocybin so it might also do that for this but who's to say - not a lot of info and i didn't have the patience to scroll thru this one guys trip report where he took a benzo at one point to see what the effects were. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i mean i took a very low dose of this rc which i've taken multiple times before and it will end so ultimately whatever i do doesn't matter usually when i trip i smoke a lot of weed throughout but that also was when i was smoking a lot of weed in general and now my tolerance is wayyyyy lower. but i did roll a joint with a more cbd heavy strain earlier so it won't b like getting hit by a semi if i smoke it

lmao tumblr mobile formatting is terrible i press enter and this paragraph is down here, maybe ittl look different if i post this which i think i will and probably no one will read which is fine but if you are reading this; Hi!

also i know how very much this reads like someone who is on a psychedelic lol i might delete this in the morning but maybe i'll keep it for posterities sake or whatever, and also if i smoke (which i almost certainly will go do after i post this) i'll probably reblog this with what happened. this is what blogs were made for folks! lol ok bye

while writing the tags i realize i have no idea what the rc community on tumblr is like maybe there are ppl who follow tags idk anyway bye for real until i reblog this

EDIT: uugh ok i can feel myself coming down do i just wait it out or do i smoke i kinda wanna smoke.... i really wanna smoke lol but i also dont wanna b up all night cause my gf's asleep and i can't like watch stuff on my tv and i dont really wanna sit at my computer cause my neck is stiff from playing dragon age lol. i know im probably gonna smoke lol but ok if this ends up fuckinf me over and making me stay up all night at least i'll have this post as reference for next time

[farshores]

wait wtf happened 💀 I feel like I missed a shitstorm

To keep it short, sweet, & not ranty: Kaidan addon update - they massacred our boy /hj

Dialogue is p low-tier, very Yt Women Romance(tm) & draws away from his original set up, imho at least lol but in the end that isn't what bugs me.

What has me seeing red is the devs throwing a fit & pearl clutching because folks were asking if they're going to keep in/respect the asexual option the base mod has. (Because obviously that means they want to do away with all the romance/sexual options as does anyone with a single, mild criticism - amiright gamers /s)

Which idk bout y'all but that is not a good look lmao

EDIT: lmao one of the new devs is biphobic as well - don’t use the Kaidan add-on folks

EDIT 2: Screenshots of the whole fiasco regarding Kai’s asexual option have been provided (do note this is what’s left after some deletion) and will be added below the cut - Names of the discord members were censored for general precaution + I hope y’all are mature enough to realize not to bug the VA Dan about this. Again, this is not an excuse or reason to harass anyone, this is to inform others so they can form an opinion & hold accountability.

That being said, I will be posting my short personal opinion below, because lol i do have opinions - transcript has been added

[Image transcript:

"My thing is I'm fine with it if it's unlocked via other dialogue tbh because I 100% have characters that'd be down for it. But others would be like...no? So how do I vote for that XD"

"I like what she has done with the mod. It makes him more real and with faults. He is an harlequin romance novel character. I'm sorry, but I had to give in my two points there. He isn't excuse me Just don't where the amulet o mara don't wear it, don't get no reomance Um Okay"

"I mean for me even in the base Kaidan mod it got mized up after a while, I don't know if that was my game being bugged though. (I did think there was an odd flaw in that if you choose to wait the first time dialogue kind of got lost???)

"Okay now hold on, some people are asexual but not aromantic. They don't want sex but do want love and romance."

"Yeah exactly"

"As an asexual, I always choose the romance without the sexual stuff."

"this is where I exit the convo, have a nice night guys."

"Would it be possible to add a option where you can tell Kaidan what you're comfortable with and what you're not comfortable with?"

"Now in all fairness you need to consider [redacted] side too, Adding content may not always be in line with the original author's intent. This is [redacted]'s work, not Liv's. It's not necessarily fair to impose another person's will to limit her creativity and it's difficult when some do want that content. Yes what [redacted] said was insensitive but I think it was from frustration of a feature they wanted being cut not out of malice. It's not okay to dogpile and shout out her opinion. Let's take a deep breath."

"Do you want him to be a monk that is tranquil in dragon age terms?"

"No? I want him to be who he is already."

"They might mean don't ruin his protective nature."

"I think that would be a great shame (I'm tired and not expressing myself very well sorry)"

"Making him more sexual when not in a relationship would feel more bishop like and less like himself or how Live wanted him to be."

"You guys really don't want to hear what i am feeling right now, so i'll be a nice respectful [redacted] and just stay behind."

"exactly"

"OK EVERYONE. THATS ENOUGH. This is what's going to happen: [redacted] will remove ALL sexual related stuff. So everyone can drop it now. From now on will focus only on quests and the like"

"I think there is room for both. Kaidan can be more open to being more saucy if his lover mentioned they wanted it. He dated Ros for Divine's sake Dagon knows she asked for worse. But [redacted] isn't able to make everyon happy. You have to be understanding on both sides."

"we will make him a monk. with protective tendancies"

"TBF he was traumatised by Ros"

"sorry [redacted] I'll shut up"

"From now on, if anyone wants sexual material they will have to donate and get a bespoke from Dan like some other people have done."

"sorry if its a dumb question but when you said all the content did you mean everything in the whole mod itself or just a new patch? again, sorry if thats a stupid question."

"So, I'm getting confused now. Is there too much romance in the mod now as well? Sorry but I just feel frustrated at this point. Yeah sexy might be too much but romance as well?"

"I don't think anyone is saying there's too much romance? (though more friendship stuff would be lovely too!)"

"no [redacted] its perfect on your end its just some people having different opinions"

"how about she removes /all/ the sex shit period from her mod and just leave what is in the original mod for you guys?"

"Oh god no [redacted] the romance stuff is lovely!" (unable to read the rest of the message)

"Yeah there's a cold romance and the hot romance I believe."

"Please keep in mind this is [redacted]'s mod. I payed for all sex lines myself. she was being nice and sharing. But ok, we will take them back. The donations where used for regular comments and a large quest. We will not be able to please everyone. Lots of people have privately asked us for more romance and sex and that's why we took this route. Now because you guys those other people won't get anything. There. Now y'all are up to date. Better to just drop the subject and everyone have a good rest of the night."

"There are three"

"I am just confused at this point also, Is it just like, have two paths the more slow romantic and..."

"There usm byt /u haven;t been able to figure out how to go along the paths so far."

"I love the romance stuff!"

"Sure x"

"I'm going to be really blunt here, and I'm sorry if I sound like a jerk. But....people that have not donated really shouldn't be asking for anything. Plan and Simple. Suggestions are welcome by everyone of course. Telling [redacted] what to do with her mod? NO. I talk to Dan, not only professionally, we are friends. Guess what, what you hear is how he is. He IS Kaidan. We give him a script and he runs with it. He does whatever he wants. Adds cussing at will and even changes things. We just use whatever he gives you. Soooo if someone doesn't like Dan's stuff then by all means don't use the mod. I WILL NOT tell Dan what or what not to do. Anyways, sorry for being so blunt. Some of you needed to know this. Most of you are really nice people. Thanks."

"go on" ]

Now I don’t want to sound like a jerk here, but there’s a difference between being blunt & throwing a fit because people were (rightfully) upset at your response to a simple suggestion.

You’re right! It isn’t our mod, but if you’re going to take the mantle of taking other’s suggestions & criticisms - you gotta do so without this whole attitude lol. I don’t give a damn if you’re best friends with God - this is not acceptable behavior & if your first response to someone going “Hey is this thing from the base mod going to be respected/stay” is “OOOH SO YOU WANT NO SEX OR ROMANCE WHATSOEVER OOOOH YOU’RE PULLING OUR LEGS BOOHOO” then maybe - just maybe - being a mod dev ain’t for you. & I seriously recommend logging off for a bit & finding something else to do.

Spicy take but trust me when I say someone not being 100% interested in the same shit as you isn’t the end of the world. Both opinions can be discussed but it needs to be done so respectively & the devs failed in that.

[ranhaitanisgf]

nahoya kawata (smiley) & souta kawata (angry) meeting female delinquent twins: nahoya kawata [smiley] ending

[𖤐] i really hate how this turned out because i feel like this dialogue is ass, but oh well. gotta post something LMAO and also i'm too lazy to make a header so just take this idk man

part one

❧ masterlist

--

the words that nahoya had spoken to you before you had entered the shop stuck with you for the rest of the night, and you weren’t exactly sure why that was. you could tell that you were pretty spaced out while you all were eating, but you couldn’t bring yourself to participate in the conversation when your thoughts were running wild.

your sister and yourself had never really had a lot of people close by to lean on who understood you, which is why you learned to rely on each other because you were the only ones who understood each other. this is why it came as a bit of a shock to you to learn that there was other people who could understand you, and vice versa.

he could understand me…

the dynamic that the kawata twins had was similar to the one that you had with your sister, so you weren’t sure why it was such a surprise to you that nahoya had been able to pick up on what you were thinking. perhaps it was because you weren’t used to having somebody else besides your sister be able to pick up on your mannerisms, (it was pretty amazing though how quickly nahoya had been able to tell though).

you were snapped out of your thoughts when your sister shook your shoulder, and although she had a gleeful expression on her face, you could tell from the small furrow between her brows that she was a bit concerned.

“huh?” suddenly, you realized that all three of them were looking at you; waiting for something.

“sorry, i wasn’t paying attention. what’s going on?” looking between all of their expressions, you knew that they could tell that something was up with you, and you internally sighed.

should’ve saved the thoughts for later…

“we’ve been here for twenty minutes and you haven’t taken a bite; are you feeling alright?” your sister asked in her cheery voice.

“i’m quite fine; excuse me for a moment.” you decided to ignore the somewhat worried expressions on their faces as you got up and made your way to the back entrance of the restaurant, deciding to take a breather in the alley. as soon as the door closed behind you, you sighed and sat down on the ground, not really caring if your clothing got dirty because of it.

because of the way you looked, everybody would assume that you were never in the mood to talk and would try to avoid you, since you always seemed to look depressed. instead, they would approach your sister because of her happy attitude, and of course you were happy that your sister had friends, but you had always wished that you could go out with friends of your own, instead of watching tv while (s/n) was out.

and yet, this person you had just met less than five hours ago seemed to understand you better than almost all of the people who had been your “friends” in the past.

it’s almost as if…

“so, what the hell’s been up with you?” the sudden voice from beside you made you look over, but you immediately looked away once you recognized the pink hair.

“nothing. i always look like this.” nahoya chuckled a bit at your reply, but you could tell it wasn’t a humorous type. he didn’t say anything for a minute or two, so you took a few peeks at him. the smile on his face was almost enchanting, and the way the faint light from the nearby street lights lit up his frame made you look away again in fear of staring too long.

you knew exactly what it feels like to have a crush on somebody, but somehow, this felt different, and it was the main reason your thoughts had started to overwhelm your brain while you were supposed to be eating. but in this moment, you had figured out the answer that you had been looking for.

you were starting to fall in love, and you needed it to stop right now.

“you have some guts trying to get away with that one. you and i both know that something’s up, so hurry it the hell up and spit it out.” his words might have been harsh, but the undertone to them was comforting to you in a way, and besides, the harshness was probably what was going to get you to spill in the end.

you weren’t even sure what to say in response; there was no way you were just going to outright say that you were feeling conflicted because you think you might be falling in love with him, but what other excuse could you give.

you hadn’t even really noticed it, but small streams of tears had started flow down from your eyes, making your blank expression a lot sadder, (which made it seem more you you supposed).

it wasn’t really like you were sad or anything...hell, you didn’t even know what it was you were feeling at the moment. you had never felt like this before, so it was safe to say that your confusion was a lot for you to handle.

without even saying anything, you could feel his hand push your head onto his shoulder. you were pretty surprised; what was he doing? you could feel your heartbeat quickening, and you could only pray that the boy beside you couldn’t hear it.

“y’know, you’re a pretty interesting one. let’s hang out this weekend.” looking up at him through your lashes, you could see the bright grin on his face, but it was actually genuine.

does he actually want to hang out with me?

“(y/n).” the sudden seriousness in his voice made you freeze for a moment, and the smile that was on his face a moment before was completely gone. there hadn’t been one moment in that day where you had seen him let the corners of his lips down, (and you had never heard of it happening either) so you couldn’t help it when the usual blank and sad expression on your face changed.

“you’re easy to read; don’t think i haven’t figured out what it is that you’ve been thinking about. so, let’s hangout this weekend.” you didn’t even know what to say, so you just nodded and moved a bit closer to him with a small blush painted across your cheeks.

maybe you had found someone who could understand who you truly were.

-

maybe I'll delete this and redo it tomorrow idk man this is why I write headcanons LMAO

[clambuoyance]

it's always so fascinating to see other writers' thought process! you plan out so MUCH of your stuff, down to dialogue! i just make shit up as I go along and then edit if need be. it's a system that works for me somehow

like i have written a 70 thousand word thing and most of it was entirely unplanned. i started by going "hmm situation! yeah! and here's how it's gonna end i guess!" and then i made everything up as i went along, coming up with plot beats and character/story arcs as i wrote things down in real time

i'd write chapters in my head when i was out and when i got home i'd write something completely different because i very much am a stream-of-consciousness writer who writes what's on their mind at the time

and the thing is! the thing i wrote was good! even by my standards! there were several times i had to write around things i forgot (because i was posting it on a chapter-by-chapter basis) but other than that everything worked and stuff!

so i find it so cool that you plan everything out because then you REALLY have a sense of your story and stuff and i bet shit's a lot more meaningful (i havent read nothingbound yet because i don't usually read unfinished fics but i bet it's really good and you know i will be binging it when you finish it)

like if you planted something in chapter one about character A having a fear of heights and character B loving rollercoasters and later they go on an amusement park date, you might have planned that all out! for me it would be an "oh riiiiight i did that didn't i. time to work that into a later chapter i guess :)"

idk sorry for the long ass ask i just love seeing how other people plan shit out for their works and stuff

You're so right though, it's so interesting to see how different people make art/write stories. Honestly sometimes I wish I could just sit down and stream-of-consciousness this shit and come up with it on the spot, because I imagine I'd get a lot more writing done but I feel like I tend to overthink things. Lmao, whenever I write essays for school, my number one thing is making sure everything connects, so I guess that's just my brain. But sometimes i'm just so tired of trying to think of plot points that will happen ahead of time i just start writing and decide to fix it/refine it later. I do end up taking a lot out in the editing process, but i save most of it so i have a list of some deleted scenes saved.

It's also kind of like in animating, where you can animate pose to pose, with each key pose planned out, or animate straight to action going from one frame to the next, which is less restricting and more loose. There's benefits to both and some situations are gonna call for one or another, or both! :D

[glittertrail]

I posted 12.953 times in 2021

112 posts created (1%)

12841 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 114.7 posts.

I added 251 tags in 2021

#replies - 68 posts

#personal - 46 posts

#never ending playlist - 42 posts

#attachment - 22 posts

#about both of them - 18 posts

#thanks for the ask🥰💖 - 12 posts

#prev tags - 11 posts

#about leon - 11 posts

#psoh feels - 11 posts

#aquarius - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#also i grew up on arepas and they are okay but ppl in my home country can't fathom how can i survive not having one for breakfast every day

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

que el mcu en español se traduzca a ucm nunca me dejara de hacer gracia

11 notes • Posted 2021-11-10 19:40:17 GMT

#4

Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

thanks for the tag @gardenarcana (i'm sorry i hadn't seen this before)

favorite color: pink and aquamarine

currently reading: her body and other parties by carmen maria machado and all of the drabbles @junosjukebox has written in the last idk month or so?

last song you listened to: crush by seventeen

last series: rewatching the nanny for the 5th thousandth time because comfort show

last movie: french dispatch

savory, sweet or spicy: sweet

cravings: chocolate and pad thai

currently working on: the december's social calendar from hell and recovery related things

No pressure Tags: @sapphicfolch @violet-amore @stephanieschildren @msaudreyanne @woodswit (or anyone else that wants to do this ofc)

12 notes • Posted 2021-11-12 23:50:24 GMT

#3

this probably matters zero bc i always have a 300 post queue but if we're mutuals and you wonder why I'm ignoring your posts and have suddenly not been annoying, i just refuse to waste my data plan on tumblr till the wifi at home gets fixed

13 notes • Posted 2021-11-29 18:19:34 GMT

#2

I was tagged by @aquafinha to do this (thank you Katie🥰💖)

1. Why did you choose your url?:

for a long time my personal brand was the friend that loved glitter vfx and makeup in general, ofc i would go all out and leave trails of glitter everywhere lmao also i like having a url that is recognizable but not fandom affiliated

2. Any side blogs?:

yes lmao so many but the active ones are only @ellavaday for rpdr stuff, @ccantaloup for cute animal videos food and reminders to be kind to yourself (it is where a lot of... not particularly good stuff used to be documented and instead of deleting it i decided to rebrand it and keep it as a reminder to myself) and @ateneawrites for fic writing (this one's a baby and it's brand new bc i haven't written for fun in a good 6 years, i'm rusty but definitely having fun at least)

3. How long have you been on tumblr?:

2010ish

4. Do you have a queue tag?:

nope, y'all gotta figure out if i'm online or not by yourselves lmao (it's not hard i usually blog a lot of things in a row when i'm online vs one post every half an hour when i'm not)

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?:

i had just moved to a new continent and didn't have many friends and was bored

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?:

because i lost my old one😭 i put a cute pic of a ghost for halloween and lost the one i had before of a bottle shaped like a heart that said poison 😔 the one i currently have just looked okay with the no header look i like on mobile

7. Why did you choose your header?:

i don't like the look of headers 😬

8. What’s your post with the most notes?:

in this blog? It's buried bc this blog is old as sin but it's either a post about leon orcot from psoh or effie trinket from thg, rn it's a screenshot of choriza may's last look on the rpdr runway because this might not be the drag race blog but the stickers of a peach with "chocho" written on it definitely belongs to this blog lmao

9. How many mutuals do you have?:

probably about a hundred-ish but i am not sure since the rpdr blog is quite more popular than my main

10. How many followers do you have?:

this blog has about 1.1k and the drag race blog has about 4.8k followers (which is absolutely insane but most of those have to be inactive by now tbh.. that sideblog exploded when i first made it bc of t&k), fully have no clue about the other ones but those are the ones i frequent the most

11. How many people do you follow?:

367

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?:

have i made anything but shitposts?

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?:

i started to check it daily again just recently, kind of left it abandoned in 2017 but i'm here probably more often than i should currently

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once?:

never, the unfollow button is right there and blocking is not hard should that not suffice

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?:

same as katie, i get annoyed, it usually just ensures i ignore it, specially, no offense, if it's got to do with the us

16. Do you like tag games?:

love them

17. Do you like ask games?:

love those too!

my favorite thing is the mutuals that will send you things to your ask box unprompted too btw or play things like "assign me a time period in history" or a dessert (@msaudreyanne @woodswit @jackredfieldwasmyjacob are probably some of my favorite people to follow bc of those things)

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?:

depends on what we consider famous, i think some of them have got def more engagement than most, if that counts as famous then @woodswit @msaudreyanne and @legallybrunette1997 qualify

if we go by "people that represent their fandom" i think I'd be remiss not to add @goldenliartrash and @sapphicfolch to the list (hello ministericos how are we doing) and then @ellanainthetardis (or hayffie fanfiction god) and @junosjukebox and @veronicasanders (for rpdr fanfiction specifically)

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?:

a couple that i'm v good friends irl with now since i firmly believe in being a tiny bit in love with your friends 🥰

(no pressure) tags: @kindlichekaiserins @sapphicsupremacist @dykegoblins @amillcitygirl @gardenarcana @poliearbear @lissette @timelordsensate @katya-zamos @doumekiss @1-800-heller @papitati @stephanieschildren , any of the people i tagged before while answering this and anyone else who wishes to do this

18 notes • Posted 2021-11-25 17:00:54 GMT

#1

Obsessed with these stickers, i too would like a giant peach sticker that says chocho

33 notes • Posted 2021-11-01 09:48:01 GMT

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