#idk why but i love the concept its spectacular

[thornswoggled]

i think there is a convo to be had about how chises dragon curse - for all of its confusing mechanics - functions less as a plot point and more of a physical manifestation of the character growth chise has yet to undertake, and an unwillingness to reckon with the person she is past the roles she serves in the lives of others

chise takes this curse on when she returns to the auction house, and location is everything here. at its core, this curse is anger, hatred, fear, pain, and a deep desire to return to comfort - destructive emotions that rip apart all it touches. when chise breaks down at the sight of the frightened dragon for sale, elias tells her that those are not her emotions, that she shouldnt let them overtake her - but they are her emotions, that dragon is her, and there was never a possibility that she wouldnt follow it on its flight over london. seeing as things have "worked out" for her til now, chise hasnt yet reckoned with the gravity of what it meant to sell her life away. she hasnt reckoned with the hatred and anger and pain that she still harbors - unfortunately, moving to a quaint little english cottage does not undo a lifetime of neglect. her attempts to fix those around her, philomela being a prime example, will only get her so far. eventually she will have to look within, and i dont think shes done more than dip her toes in. "this is my past, these sad things happened to me, now things are better" is not the end of her self-reflection. now that we know the past she carries with her, what does all of that mean for her? what kind of person is she? who will she become?

im thinking too about this recurring theme of "atavism." its a key feature in tambs dragons, who are able to evolve at will to suit their needs, and yori also mentions it when noting chises appearance. atavism is the reoccurrence of dormant or ancestral traits, and you could make the argument that its also functioning metaphorically here. evolving to suit the world around you, past burdens and trauma reemerging when its unexpected or inconvenient... my thoughts on this are loose right now

theres this concept that we've been getting, too, that chises dragon curse is something temporary. arc 1 left us with the idea that her two curses must remain in balance, in perpetuity, for her to survive. but theres this new interpretation of it being something that serves her for now, but she might shed it once it fulfills its purpose

continuing with the idea of the dragon curse as a sort of... idk, ptsd metaphor, what are these two examples from ch 98 implying? that her negative emotions will serve her when it comes time? that this sort of baggage cant be exorcised away? framing the dragon curse as temporary broaches the possibility of chise one day being cured of it, but what does that mean? and should she be?

(of course, the 'future chise' we see in ch 1 doesnt have a visible left hand, but is that meant to be a literal glimpse into the future, anyway? theres also a dragon made of vines behind her in that panel, didya notice it?)

i mentioned the auction house at the beginning because i feel that if chise sheds the dragon curse, it will be in much the same way she attained it. chise has been told that she is free, she is loved, she has told her "mother" that shes moving on with her life. but all of this is just the beginning - and lets be real, i dont think elias is putting her into therapy. joseph is the only character i can think of who is truly, earnestly pushing chise toward the difficult self-reflection she needs. im excited to see what he says when she taps into her "cursed fury"

this is why im so excited that we are being told explicitly, time and again, that things are about to go really bad for chise. tamb is such a masterwork of character writing, it is so incredibly emotionally intelligent and gives so much grace and patience to its characters. i have no doubt that chises character arc is going to go in such a spectacular direction

[tobeflyhaikyuu]

The K-Dramas I've watched

Playful Kiss

Possibly the first kdramas i've ever watched, it was either this one or The Miracle. I enjoyed it at first but i found it was an adaptation of Itazura na Kiss and went to watch the other adaptations and hated the story as a whole. Also when I found the Thai version it was game over cus that version is so much better than the source material.

Weighlifting Fairy Kim Bok-Joo

It was cute!! And very funny, I don't have much to say about it tho.

Goblin

Ignoring the fact he is idk how many years old and she was 18-19 when they properly meet... it's kinda cute. And heartbreaking. The Goblin and Reaper duo is also just iconically hilarious.

Doom At Your Service

MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE EVER!! The writing is so good and the story is so beautiful and I mean, Park Bo-Young is one of my favorite actresses for a reason. I just cannot properly put into words how much i adore this show, honestly.

While You Were Sleeping

How I meet both Suzy and Lee Jong-Suk and i loved them and their characters both so much. The story was very engaging too.

Strong Woman Bong-Soon

Park Bo-Young and Park Hyung-sik <3 Do Bong-Soon and Ahn Min-Hyuk <3 They were too good in this man, I'd love to see them in another drama together. One thing that felt uncessary to me was the gangsters and their whole screentime, it just wasnt entertaining or important to the story afjsahfkdagj

True Beauty

Very funny, very entertaining. Also how I feel in love with Cha Eun-woo. Also yes I loved Seo-jun but it made a lot more sense for Joo-kyung to be with Su-ho, me thinks.

Extraordinary Attorney Woo

Entertaining but the depiction of mental disabilities is really just... atrocious. It's a little hard to rewatch tbh.

Business Proposal

Kim Se-jeong is a treasure. And this show was very funny and cute.

Alchemy Of Souls

Amazing, showstopping, spectacular, no wonder it was so popular.

My Only Love Song

Also one of the first ones i've watched, hilarious too. But i dont remember thinking much about the romance tbh. At least it's on the shorter end so if you dont feel like committing to 16+ 1-hour long episodes, this is a good one

W: Two Worlds

I. LOVE. THE. CONCEPT. OF. COMIC CHARACTERS. BEING SELF AWARE!!!! It's so interesting and I think W explored it so well, I'd love more kdramas like it.

The Miracle

I remember very little about this one lol but i do remember the over fatphobia, like yes its what the show criticizes but i remember feeling so uncomfortable watching it. it's been like 7 years tho so i cant properly talk about it

Extraordinary You

comic book characters being self aware <3 also think this was did a fantastic job with that concept. it also made me cry so badly, my heart still aches for Haru and Dan-Oh

Pinocchio

This is the one last one I finished, and I binged it. Was not expecting to be so enthralled by a drama that's essencially about news reporting but I was.

Why Her

Reccommend to me by a close friend who adores pain... I was also not expecting to be so engaged with this one but I was and it was so painful, omg but so so good!

+ unfinished ones

Hotel Del Luna

Mr. Queen

Rookie Historian Goo Rae-Hyeong

Destined with You

Magic of the Abyss

Uncanny Counter

King: The Eternal Monarch

Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha

Run On

Crash Landing on You

Hospital Playlist

Celebrity

Crash Course In Romance

Romance Is A Bonus Book

A Love So Beautiful

King The Land

See You in My 19th Life

The King's Affection

Judge vs Judge

Happiness

Tale of The Nine Tailed

Law School

Dr. Romantic

++ dropped

Shooting Stars

The Glory

Love Alarm

My ID is a Gangnam Beauty

Legend of the Blue Sea

Boys Over Flowers

The Heirs

[2chopsticks2eyes]

Idk why Tumblr don't let me put tags in your post of Minho <well shit>

But I just want to say is amazing OMG, all the development of the story is really gOoOd i love it, is like a whole combo in one, I mean, drama, funny, stress and hard sex qkskalq, I really love Minho in this is so cute, my new favorite concept 🥹🥹❤️‍🩹

Thanks for this amazing story, I was just looking for something good, but I found gold sksksk *insert the photo of lady gaga saying talent, brilliant, incredible, amazing, spectacular*

Sorry for the bad grammar, english it's not my first league and its 4 am kqksiq

Oh wow thank you so much! You’ve got me blushing 😽

It really means a lot to me to hear that my work has been appreciated and I’m so glad you found mine 🥰 I’m totally open for requests if you have any, but idk how long it will take. Thank you so much for your kind words! 😭 Sending you all the love 🩷💜💙

(Also, Tumblr needs to get its shit together because this isn’t the first time this has happened 😾)

💋💋💋

[almightytrashcan]

TAG GAME: EIGHT SHOWS TO GET TO KNOW ME

thank you @loveisalwaystheanswer hehe

disclaimer: lots of anime recs here HAHAHA im a weeb. also idk how else to describe stuff sometimes HJDSFKJSDHKF it's just different iterations of "wow im floored. watch it." or "this fundamentally changed me as a person."

Code Geass - Brings back memories of senior year in high school where I binged all 25 episodes of the first season during finals week, then binged all 25 episodes of the second season the next week. Season 1 was eh but it was building up for the actual bone-deep pain of Season 2. The Zero Requiem finale still hits man, it's such a perfect way to end the series. Why are mecha animes so steeped in heavy politics. Good for them! Also the Pizza Hut placements were great (we love you Cheese-kun).

Mob Psycho 100 - AMAZING ANIMATION. AMAZING STORYTELLING. WHOLESOME HIGH SCHOOLERS GOING THROUGH THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF LIFE WHILE ALSO HAVING THE MOST POWERFUL PSYCHIC ABILITIES. Genuinely feel-good, so many inspirational quotes in here. Made me cry on some occasions because I didn't expect to hear the words I needed to hear from a shounen anime of all things. Also Reigen is babygirl for a REASON.

Peaky Blinders - Where do I start. I like period dramas, and the premise intrigued me. Season 1 is so damaging to me in so many ways like I don't think any other show could get as perfect as those six episodes AAAAA IM SO ATTACHED TO IT. The whole cast are phenomenal and they really carried the show, and the song features are so good too. Also Cillian Murphy is so hot goddamn.

The Promised Neverland - DO NOT WATCH THE SECOND SEASON. Anyway. I read the manga so I know how the rest of the plot goes, but Season 1 is such an amazing display of psychological horror. The visceral fear of realizing Isabella is always one step ahead of the kids, and just generally trying outpace her while acting like everything's normal. Wow.

Attack on Titan - lol. I don't really care much about the new series anymore, but back in 2013 this was the first anime I properly watched (and the rest of the world had its dick and balls gripped by the Salute™ and the Wings of Freedom™ too). I guess I was pretty fucked up as a kid for thinking I had the balls to join the Survey Corps and could live to tell the tale. Formative anime of all time actually.

Avatar: The Last Airbender - A childhood classic. What else do I say, it's just perfect. Amazing. Fantastic. Spectacular. I have official books of that franchise: all four of The Lost Scrolls, one of the Journey Through The Earth Kingdom books, and the Tales of Zuko book. It's just so dear and close to my heart, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Adventure Time - Another childhood classic. I think I watched every episode up until the first few episodes of Season 5, then I just stopped caring SHDFJSJKFH. BUT. But, it's also still very meaningful to me, it's an amazing combination of fun but also unintentionally dark. I should pick up on it again when I have the time, honestly.

Bungou Stray Dogs - I haven't touched anything related to this anime since 2019 but this is really that one show that shaped me for a long while, mostly because I met my internet friends because of this show, and my first few days on Twitter was dedicated to being a BSD fan. The whole concept too of characters based off famous classic authors with abilities names after their most famous works is really a banger, it made me a reader again.

i dont really have anyone to tag so if you see this on your dash feel free to do it!

[diamondedqe]

bro he is simply vibing

[greensaplinggrace]

What makes Dishonored your favorite game?

The biggest thing for me was the lore and the atmosphere. No game I've played has ever had such a well-incorporated feel and sense of immersion to it like Dishonored except for Bishock 1, which is incidentally my second favorite game of all time lol. The lore is brilliant, the world is creative, the atmosphere is spectacular, the soundtrack is to die for, and it taught me a lot about how to create a city and a world and a system of myths and religion and tales and perspectives.

The way it's set in a steampunk/clockpunk/fantasy world where whaling is the primary source of energy is brilliant. The books and papers and notes you can read throughout the game are endlessly fascinating, and the different perspectives you come across in writing on certain characters throughout is especially interesting to me. Granny Rags is amazing, Slackjaw is great, the Loyalists were quite a unique set of allies, and Daud is probably my favorite antagonist of all time.

The stealth and magic system is the only one of its kind I've ever come across, and literally no other game compares in quality to stealth missions and chaos systems and gameplay except maybe Assassin's Creed, and that depends on which game we're talking about. After playing Dishonored I legitimately scoured the internet for games like it that had good stealth/magic and nothing else was as good.

Also, I love the exploration of classism and the critiques on society. The main antagonist is the game is vile, and the reveal for why he did what he did will always stick with me. The Boyle party is my favorite part of the game despite my beef with the low honor choice. Largely because of a) the aesthetic, which is breathtaking throughout the entire game but especially on this mission, b) the boyle sisters themselves, who are very complex and who you can learn a great deal about through exploring their home before even meeting them, and c) the fact that even in this rich person's mansion, as all these wealthy and privileged people dine on a vast amount of food making small talk while the rest of the city starves and dies and bodies pile like mountains in the flooded district, there is still blood on the floor.

The disconnect when hearing the rich wonder why they're also dying to the plague is well done, too. The fact that they never even considered they would be vulnerable because they judge the lower classes so much.

The heart, which is probably the greatest part of the game, spilling secrets and giving you knowledge. A horrifying companion that tells you everything about the world you're in. It's such a great way to incorporate more lore as well as highlight the complex lives of the characters you're surrounded by. Even a random man wandering the street has a story the heart will tell you. I like that. I like how even the side characters feel fleshed out. There's no part of that world or that city that doesn't have a purpose. There's no piece of that game that feels worthless. You point the heart not even at a person but at a place and it will tell you the secrets of the world. That's the type of worldbuilding I admire. That's the type of lore that means something to me.

The religion is cool. The Outsider is interesting. The void as a concept is genius and the way its explored is so incredibly compelling. I love the way magic and religion are tied together. I enjoy the way cultism is explored. I ADORE the abbey and the religious corruption and how tied it is with the government. Just the entire setup of the government/accepted religion/'heretical' religion is really great.

There are dozens of ways to complete the missions and explore the city. Playing the game without powers is fun af. You are a rat bastard. I love the rats in this game. I love the powers in this game. You can have charms made out of bones and you can find shrines to the outsider and you can teleport in front of your allies without them even going "hey! why does this dude have a strange heretical marking on his hand?!" The powers are fun, the void is fun, the dynamics of the game are fun. It's just fun. I mean, maybe a bit too easy now, imo. I have to set it on very hard and make sure its basically unbeatable to really have a challenge anymore.

Corvo as a character seems dull at first when you don't get much of his story in the first game, but his potential and the pieces of his history that are dropped occasionally by npcs and his relationship with emily make him pretty fucking stellar, imo. You learn more about him and his relationships with people as the game progresses. The way the world changes is so interesting.

Like idk, I could go on but this is already enough of a ramble. It's just... really good. It was also the game that got me back into videogames. I had a massive gaming slump for about five years where nothing interested me. I gave Dishonored a try and loved it so so much I started playing other games again. Luckily I then played Bioshock 1, and that passion didn't immediately die. So really it just holds a sentimental place in my heart as well. Also I majorly shipped the Corvo/Jessamine/Daud OT3 you guys have no idea.

(fill my inbox)

[planetjisungie]

lucky charms- h.rj

characters; ravenclaw! renjun x hufflepuff! reader ft. gryffindor! mark and gryffindor! jeno (sigh)

summary; with the exams coming up, you need a little help with your charms. well you dont, you just needed an excuse to talk to your long time crush, huang renjun

an; i literally changed this on the spot 🤡 plot holes here i come- (also id like to think jeno is more of a hufflepuff but idk man)

sigh okay this is a long boi

end of year exams were in just a few weeks

yay, your absolute favourite !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sarcasm

now, charms

in room 99, classroom 2E in the south tower

i did my research

you were pretty good at charms, not nearly as good as you were in the care of magical creatures and herbology though

still above averagely good

you know who else was good at charms?

huang renjun

the star ravenclaw prince boy, the pride of the house and a very beautiful boy

best boi renjun

if jeno was being quite honest he was SICK AND TIRED of hearing you two pine over eachother

jeno met you in first year, and you quickly became best friends and even ended up in the same house as eachother

despite having different friend groups (your friend group consisted of you and eunji), you stayed best friends until now aka 5th year

just go with it okay

so as he was saying before i digressed, jeno physically is pained as he watched the longing glances both you and renjun throw when the other isnt looking

but it isnt his business to meddle with your lack of relationship problems

best boi part 2

BUT! but! he will give you both a tiny! eensy! little! minuscule! nudge

that nudge being forming a plan with you

you were slightly reluctant when jenos very enthusiastic face greeted you at the table saying he had ‘a totally brilliant, spectacular, show stopping, wonderful, flawless plan’

this was jeno we were talking about

the same boy who planned the failed midnight snack run a few weeks before

and as soon as he mentioned renjun your eyes narrowed

"proceed."

the plan was for jeno to ask renjun to tutor his friend who was falling behind in charms

said friend was you

and you were ahead of the class

bUT!! you agreed because he wasnt in your class, so there was no way he could know that right?

wrong.

who was in your class?

mark lee. one of renjuns best friends.

also the boyfriend of eunji and the reason you wanted to gauge your eyeballs out everytime you turned around to talk to them

thats right eunji ditched you to sit next to her little markie. bitch.

nonetheless, you agreed because your dumb, spontaneous ass forgot that renjun even knew mark, because if someone said ‘whos mark?’ you would go ‘eunjis boyfriend’

so of course, when all the students were making their way to their class, jeno caught up with renjun seeing as they both had muggle studdies

"hey man, i have a favour to ask"

stage one of operation: stop the oblivious fuckers from pining over eachother (that name may need some revamping) was a-go

"depends what said favour is"

smart boi™️

"is it possible to tutor one of my friends in charms for the upcoming OWLs?"

oh? this piqued china pretty boys interest

"i mean, sure, i could do with some revision too. tell them to meet me at the library after school"

and so jeno walked away with a smug smirk, victorious

and when jeno told you he had agreed later in potions, you were yet you werent surprised

so of you trotted after last period, kinda nervous because youre about to be in the literal breathing proximity of renjun

like obviously youve talked to him before but this time it was just you and him

alone

no get those thoughts out of your head

n e ways u perv

renjun sat at the back table, textbooks and notebooks with his neat writing in both chinese and korean all over the pages

smart boi part 2

so seeing him not looking at you

attention whore

wow why am i so mean today

you sat down and cleared your throat, placing your blank notebooks on the table so the boy wouldnt get suspicious

you had to pray to whatever gods were listening for your cheeks not to flare up the colour of the strawberries you had for breakfast

healthy girl™️

and the gods apparently answered your prayers

because as soon as renjun looked up and into your eyes you swore you were too distracted for your blood cells to even think about moving towards your face

and renjun nearly had a heart attack (by aoa)

poor boy

jeno had NOT told him that he would be tutoring you

he was going to be choked later

"sorry im late"

renjun was nearly offended that you would even apologise to him for being late by

2 minutes and 48 seconds

"no no its okay i havent been here long"

that was a lie he had study period last and has been sat in the same goddamn chair for an hour already but your presence made his ass cheeks ache less

so he started teaching you, but ???

you seemed to fully grasp the concepts

confused boi

excuse me ma’am/sir/señor/señorita whatever you prefer to go by-

you need to brush up on your acting skills dude

appalling smh your drama teacher back from your muggle school would be completely distraught

so for the next hour renjun ‘tutored’ you

things you already knew but this was a dream-

and actually he was a funny guy

he was also muggle born, so you could both relate over things you experienced as a kid

this lead to a raging debate over dora the explorer

that bitch was shaded in said debate, fully annihilated

hola soy dora your asshole

but,, it was fun. because jeno was pureblood and grew up knowing about all his magicky stuff so he was kinda boring sometimes

no tea no shade

but you ended the session with smiles on both your faces, cheeks literally aching with how hard youd been laughing and smiling

so lads

the next day at breakfast renjun was all happy, plonking himself next to mark at the gryffindor table because

man does not give a SHIT about the looks he was getting. he is huang renjun.

"why are you so smiley this morning? and why didn’t you come to my common room last night"

the gryffindor common room was the dreamie hang out

no one dared tell THE mark lee to go somewhere else with his friends

"sorry, last night i was tutoring y/n in charms" smiley boy still

mark seagull eyebrows: activated

excuse him?? charms?? you?? the one who got an outstanding in your report card??

something smells fishy here

"renjun... y/n got an outstanding on her charms"

eunji who had magically appeared next to mark basically said what he was just thinking

confused boi part ??

"wait what?"

but later on he didnt question you about it

he silently observed you

he told himself that anyway

quite honestly if you were spending time with him he was not about to complain

he was staring at you, simply put

my leng bby (thats you, youre my leng bby)

so for the next 2 weeks every day after school you would meet up to ‘catch up’ on your charms

that being said it literally always, every time, ended up with you two talking about something unrelated

like the 5th day you had a conversation about which series of power rangers was better

"SPD, obviously"

AM I THAT OLD?? on god i hate it here

"no, y/n, we all know that dino force is better"

i agree with y/n on this one pal

on the 7th day you talked about muggle sports that you both enjoyed

"i played a lot of cricket"

"cricket? okay tory"

"i am NOT a tory"

on the last day when you should have been, you know, LEARNING

you were having a lovely old chinwag about the x factor

"simon cowell is a king"

"i agree"

legend behaviour if you ask me

wait does chinwag exist in other countries??? translation: chat

so of course the exams came up

but you were dreading them for a different reason

this meant the end of tutoring with renjun

this was super bittersweet, you wanted to spend more time with eachother

you literally could it wasn’t that deep both of you are so dumb smh aint nothing stopping you

jeno agrees with me too, mans pulling out his hair still as you had somehow not gotten together yet

it was like watching snails race, incredibly frustrating but you know that there is the finish line somwhere over the horizon

so you took your exams and both of you passed with flying colours, obviously

smart kids

and you ran right to renjun to celebrate

seeing as he had

not really helped you but you thought that he thought he helped you

oh no honey he knew that you didnt need help

but he didnt know whether to confront you about it?

rip your guilty conscience

so after a long discussion with mark, our china boy decided to ask why the heck you wanted his help when you were absolutely fully capable

unlike mark

and when you saw him approach you first in the halls your heart went

NYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

that was the sound of a fast motorbike

"hi y/n"

‘damn renjun, couldnt have thought of anything better than that?’

"uhh hi renjun"

awkward silence by stray kids

"i just wanted to know why you asked for my help"

okay where is the nearest shovel and what is the most efficient way to dig a large hole-

as if renjun sensed your panic radiating off you in waves

which he did

"not that it was an issue! i enjoyed spending time with you, it was just, you didnt really need help"

he was a pure boy

so you puffed your cheeks and decided to just come clean

somewhere, jeno felt his senses tingling

"genuinely i just wanted to spend some time with you because i really like you"

renjun froze and wanted to smack his head into a wall

bruh

you noticed his expression and panicked yet again

stop panicking man its okay i gotchu

"it was jenos idea"

blame jeno is always a fool-proof plan b

unless you get pregnant, that would not be a good idea

so i guess its not fool proof

BUT I DIGRESS

renjun face palms and groans

"youre kidding me! all this time we wasted doing boringass charms work when we couldve gone on dates"

confusion™️

but?? you felt hopeful??

"i dont think im on the same wavelength"

"i like you too dumbass"

oH so YOURE the dumbass??

yes, yes you are renjun is best boi, accept the L which is really a W bc renjun likes you back

jeno who had found his way to you, listening from around the corner sighed in happiness

"fucking finally!!"

[haknew]

hello!! just thought I'd stop by and say thank u for making content for us!! your little creations help make my day go by a little better :) also I thought I should ask whats your favorite thing about each tbz members if you dont mind? I'm in the mood to adore these boys more! 💞🥰

ahhhh i’m glad i’m able to brighten someone’s day with my content ! that’s all i could ask for ^~^ hmm i might end up writing an essay so here goes:

(also i might mention two things for some just bc 1 is more about them as a person in general and the second thing is about them as performers!)

sangyeon - for sangyeon, it might be a bit on the nose but i really think my favorite thing about him is his leadership, esp when oneus were collabing with tbz on rtk, he has really good people skills and knows how to talk through and guide conversations and group dynamics !

jacob - this is a bit,,, tough ,,, as a performer jacob is a good all-rounder, i absolutely adore his vocals and his dancing and i think he’s one of the strongest members in both categories... in general terms though, my favorite thing really is what everyone probably said too which is how kind, considerate, and angelic he is... i know he said he likes keeping his own problems to himself because he doesn’t want to burden anyone else with it, but then he goes around trying to take a little of everyone else’s problems to try and make them feel better,,, he really loves and cares about everyone around him;;; and he never really complains or take it out on anyone else and i just- ... yea i’m love he :((

younghoon - i think my favorite thing about younghoon is how unique (?) / eccentric he is,,, he tends to think very divergently / outside-of-the-box and considers stuff i never would have even dreamed of coming up with,,, and he’s just proud and unapologetic about it too ! he’s silly but bright and i think that’s the really cool thing about him :))

hyunjae - my fav thing about hyunjae is his tendency for acts of service ...? if that makes sense,,, he uses actions to express things just as much as his words ;;; like he did this vlive with haknyeon once where he adjusted the camera to include hak even tho it wasn’t intended to be a two person vlive anyway, or on chanhee’s bday vlive where he told off bbangkyu for blocking chanhee,,, it’s really just how much he tires his best to take care of others even when he’s jokingly teasing them despite it !

juyeon - my fav thing about juyeon is his ... what i’d call a perfect combination of self confidence and humbleness haha,,, he knows his strong points and he knows how to utilize them best and to his advantage but he never lets it inflate his ego bc that’s just how down-to-earth he is :,,))) you can kind of tell in the way the other members always prank him but he’s just so trusting of the people around him, he never shows off without immediately getting a bit shy after and i think that’s very admirable and wholesome of him :,)

kevin - HHHH okay let’s see... my favorite superficial thing about kevin is this one smile he has where,,, when someone says something he finds funny or he’s talking to fans and he smiles so wide it looks like his cheekies are about to burst from how happy he is and ..... yea ok i’m- going to say something serious now,,, this is also from his gen z interview video but i think the thing that i love the most about kevin is just how aware he is... of those around him,,, during mafia games for example, he’s always peace keeping and giving members the chance to defend themselves and he’s always trying his best to adjust his own behavior to fit in with what he thinks other people want ;;;; and i just,,, really adore him for that,,, i hope he can feel comfy and unapologetically himself too of course, and i think he is when he’s drawing and being artistically active and so i’m just *heart eyes* i guess *sigh* 

chanhee - hands down my favorite thing about chanhee as a performer is his voice... i talk about this a lot bc i was a choir kid for 4 years but, chanhee is a spectacular vocalist, and his voice is so distinctive too,,, falsetto king, he’s got this light airy / breathy timbre and it’s so beautiful to me ;;;; and his. adlibs!!!!! as a person... this is actually really difficult for me to put into words bc i just want to say my fav thing about chanhee is he’s tinie LOL but what i mean by that is,,, he’s got this,,, delicate sensitivity ? idk i feel like we’re similar in many ways which is probably my fav thing about him,,, he clings to the other members despite their teasing but he always tries his best to avoid embarrassing stuff and he’s introverted ... ok yea please give me one pass i cannot pick just one fav thing about chanhee i am a mess

changmin - hmm i think my favorite thing about changmin is just how genuine he is,,, i think he likes to just... talk ! about anything he wants which is why he goes on vlive so often, and i’ve noticed he is pretty straightforward and says stuff directly ! it’s not a bad thing i admire him a lot for it, actually, he really just talks with so much open honesty about how he feels and what he thinks that it’s almost second nature to him... i really love just listening to him talk about anything honestly his vlives are like having 3am conversations over the phone with your best friend... that kind of feeling 

haknyeon - THIS IS THE HARDEST T^T i love so many things about haknyeon... ok as a performer, my favorite thing about haknyeon is how adaptable he is and how he completely (?) absorbs a concept,,, like it doesn’t matter if it’s cute like keeper or darker like reveal,,, he fully embodies whatever concept it is almost to the point you would never guess how he is irl,,, i really think he’d make a great actor just bc his stage presence is so powerful and convincing and his facial expressions are killer... as a person,,, i think my favorite thing is something i’ve talked about before but he has this natural wonderment in his worldview... i think it’s his confidence like he talked about in the generation z video but he treats everything as something new he can learn from,,, he gets so so excited over the smallest things and is easily intrigued by anything and everything around him and he treats it all as a personal challenge, like if he tried hard enough he could do literally anything  (i compare him to a cat going outside of its house for the first time and getting to see a butterfly that kind of vibe ;;;;)

sunwoo - my favorite thing about sunwoo is how caring he is ? i’m not sure a lot of people catch it but despite his endless clowning and bullying of the other members, he’s also always one of the first members to praise them or shower them in compliments. he’s also so whipped for all of them T-T he (mostly) always laughs at any of their jokes, dumb as they may be, or agrees with whatever they’re saying, the teasing and shading is all a front almost :,)) it’s really cute of him

eric - my favorite thing about eric is his pure earnest enthusiasm for everything,,, i know all the tbz members work their hardest at everything they do as performers, but eric,,, he tries his hardest and then 54396 times more,,, i think it comes from him being the youngest member maybe, but he works so hard at anything and everything, may it be games or performing... he just acts as if he’s always trying to prove something, our energy eric T^T ! he never lets up even for a second and i adore him so much for that, goofball that he may be !

[twilightmilf]

i finished listening to the student run of six and here’s my thoughts and opinions that absolutely no one asked for:

ex wives:

not much of the song was changed which i did like. i’m not used to having so much dialogue and lyrics being changed but this was from 2017 so i understand. the only real lyric/sound changes that stood out the most were the little verses each queen sings about their life. the biggest changes i heard was aragon’s and boleyn’s. aragon’s had almost all of the lyrics changed and i really liked hers. i kinda like the old verse she said better. boleyn’s was more sped up with the tempo and beat which i loved as well. ex wives in general was just as good as it is today and i really like it!!!

no way:

so the student run’s version of no way is almost completely different then it is today. almost all of the lyrics (besides the ending parts) are changed but i’m not complaining because i LOVE IT!!! it sounds so good and i really liked the original lyrics, i don’t think they were all that accurate to aragon’s actual life but they sounded so good mixed in with the slower tempo/beat. i almost like the original no way better!!!

don’t lose ur head:

okay wow Wow WOW do i LOVE the original dlyh!!! so almost all of the lyrics are the same as today’s dlyh besides like a few but the way ashleigh weir sang boleyn just gave me the PERFECT idea of how i perceive boleyn!!! the vocals of the rest of the girls match perfectly with pitch and with the tone they’re trying to get across in the song and i just adore it. also the music backing tracks?? REALLY DIFFERENT BUT I LOVE IT!!! it sounds like at some parts there’s an electric guitar but i don’t think there is one (don’t quote me on that i don’t know my instruments) but like. the instruments. the background music. i wish they would’ve kept it. also ‘FAAAST FOOOWARDDD’ is my favorite part of the entire song i love it. dlyh was spectacular and i really love the part where anne goes ‘henry’s out every night on the town’ and the rest of that whole verse. i also really love the parts that (i’m sorry for saying this) were famous on tik tok cause when the rest of the girls chime in they match the tone perfectly and just. UGH. i love the original dlyh that’s all.

heart of stone:

the little part before hos was so heart wrenching :( the way holly musgrave explained how excited jane was for her son to be born made my heart ache ugh. so right off the bat the lyrics are different but they’re SO pretty. the way holly sings is beautiful. i really really love the original lyrics. they’re so beautifully put and give off such a good meaning to what jane felt. holly has the perfect voice for jane and sung hos with such passion and thought. it sounds like she’s reminiscing on her life and thinking of everything that has happened and i can perfectly visualize this song. all the lyrics (minus the chorus) are changed but i really love them and i kinda wish they kept some of them but!!! i still love the current hos but the original is mesmerizing. holly hit every note perfectly especially the belt at the end and when the rest of the queens come in?? *CHEFS KISS*

haus of holbein:

NO ONE WANTS A WAIST OVER 17 INCHES. haus of holbein was amazingly chaotic like always. there wasn’t a lot of lyric changes but there was a lot of insane sounding and i could hear them jumping and stomping around which made it even better. that’s it, i love u hoh. also the part after where they go through the queens till they pick cleves....”sHe LoOkS LiKe a HoRsE” “...a SEXY horse!” hands down my favorite line throughout the whole show WHY didn’t they keep it.

get down:

tilda wickham’s voice is so powerful. the way their (found their pronouns!) get down sounds is just so...pretty? but so powerful and scary and intimidating at the same time? i love how deeper their voice is compared to the rest of the girls. like when they were at the ‘you.’ ‘you said that i tricked ya.’ like that whole line of verses? the rest of the girls go up like three octaves and chime in and i ADORE IT. but tilda’s voice is SO good for the role of cleves, their voice reminds me of genesis’ and courtney’s. i LOVE when tilda started interacting with the audience. basically what they did was said ‘when i sing ‘i’m the queen of the castle, you guys will repeat it back to me.’ and that’s exactly what they did with the audience until the last ‘get down you dirty rascal’ and tilda and the rest of the girls started chanting ‘get down Get Down GET DOWN G E T D O W N’ and i love that so much. i wish they kept that little part in because i love the interaction with the audience:( not a lot of the lyrics were changed, i think it may be a bit faster than the current get down but i like it a lot!

all you wanna do:

so the very start of aywd i don’t know if i like. i was NOT expecting it to sound this different but it’s okay i guess? i think the background music threw me off completely. BUT annabel marlow’s voice is absolutely perfect for howard, she captured the character very well and her voice gives me big aimie vibes. i really like how there’s added in claps from the other girls and i really like the line ‘hold me tight inside your arms’ (i don’t know what she says before that, it’s hard to understand) a lot of the lyrics aren’t changed, a few here and there but the biggest change is the background music, tempo, and beats. it’s slower and more drawn out but i think it keeps throwing me off idk. another lyric i like (but don’t like) is ‘grab ahold of these, please’ (i THINK that’s what she’s saying?) i like it cause it goes well with the entire song but then again :( kat :( overall i really adore annabel’s voice and it matches perfectly for my concept of kat and how i see her character but the original aywd is a little eh for me. also there was no breakdown like sam, aimie, or courtney (mack) does.

i don’t need your love:

shimali’s voice for parr is ASTONISHING. she’s the perfect voice for parr. her voice reminds me of grace’s and maiya’s. i REALLY love this version of idnyl, when all the girls come in at different parts and repeating after her. ‘do we need it?’ ‘we don’t need your love!’ YES! GIRL POWER! WOMEN! FEMINISM! this song gives me a perfect visual of how the queens look coming together when they realize they’re better than henry. i love the original version. everything about it is perfect. the trumpet (i think that’s what it is) the clapping the stomping ITS ALL SO GOOD!!! i think idnyl is my favorite from the student run!!!

six:

okay so the beginning when the music starts sounds straight out of an 80s pop song and i’m HERE FOR IT!!! it sounds like keyboard + electric guitar mixed into one and i love it!!! then the girls start stomping and clapping and hyping up each other up when one of them starts singing their verses it’s so rad!!! there’s also like a tambourine??? i loved all the instruments used throughout the whole show in general and i wish they kept some of the original ones:/ there’s little to no lyric changes besides cleve’s and i’m really glad cause i love six so much and the song is generally my favorite besides aywd. six was so cute and you could hear how happy the girls sounded!!!

overall:

the student run is fantastic and i think everyone needs to listen to it. if you hear how the dialogue and lyrics have changed since 2017 without a doubt you’ll be just as shocked as i was. each of the actors sound like the perfect roles for the queens and their voices matches up with how i see each character ESPECIALLY boleyn, seymour, howard, and parr. i love the student run and overall it was really interesting and different to see how it used to be and could have been!!!

[dillydedalus]

january reading

why was this january at least 3 months long

unequal affections, lara s. ormiston (audio) this is jane austen fanfiction about an alternate version of the story where lizzy does accept darcy’s first proposal - their ensuing engagement, which (because lizzy doesn’t go off about how she feels about darc in this one) is full of unspoken conflicts and tensions & hella awks. the initial premise needed some suspension of disbelief but once i got over that i found it super enjoyable, pretty believable in terms of character interactions and interiority (darcy is a dick), funny & sweet. i don’t think i will necessarily start getting into JAFF now (tho goodreads rly thinks i should), but this was just. nice. wholesome. also now i want to reread p&p..... 3/5

lincoln in the bardo, george saunders (uni) ya know what i really liked this. this is about abraham lincoln mourning his young son willie during the civil war, not exactly a topic i’m particularly (at all) interested in, but the execution is so cool - it’s told partly thru fragments from historical records, books, letters (both real and imagined) and partly thru the voices of the many ghosts stuck in a kind of limbo in the graveyard, who are trying to get willie to move on, while they themselves desperately try to stay in limbo, bitter about what went wrong in their lives and in denial about their state. & it’s done really well, the polyphony and contradiction of the historical record (one chapter has a bunch of quotes about how ugly lincoln was & then the last is like ‘idk i thought he was kinda handsome’), and the ghosts are so sad & bitter & desperate & hopeful. 4/5

the steppe & other stories, anton chekhov (tr. from russian) bunch of short stories from 1880-1890s russia. to be honest, i found most of them pretty boring, although ‘the duel’ is pretty good, an interesting look at how sticking too closely to your worldview/ideology/morality will probably either make you a useless disaster person or a eugenicist douchebag. some of the other stories were okay as well, but overall: 2/5, i’mma stick with his plays

perfectly preventable deaths, deirdre sullivan  teenage ocd witch book! this is a pretty good YA witchy horror book about twins who move into their new stepdad’s castle (yeah he has a castle) in a weird irish village where girls have been going missing for decades. creepy magical-ish things start happening (of course) & our narrator isn’t sure whether her sister’s new age-inappropriate boyfriend is just creepy, or creepy. i love the concept of ocd witchery & the atmosphere is really good as well, but the pacing is off, with slow build-up & a climax that happens way too quickly. also like can someone please say the word ocd it’s not gonna kill ya. 3/5

the priory of the orange tree, samantha shannon gonna be controversial here & say... yeah this should have been a duology. give the world some room to breathe, give the characters some room to breathe (give me another book w/ a cover this spectacular). anyway, this is a bigass book about eastern vs western dragon lore, a holy queendom (go sabran of inys!!), dragonriders, lesbian sword mages, how religion & historiography marginalises women, and magical trees. & like, okay, i wrote a lil thing right after finishing it about how i had some quibbles with it but enjoyed it overall but you know what? the more i think about it/let it sit the more complaints i have and the more annoyed/disappointed i get. 1) i liked all the characters fine, but none of them feel like they have any depth - i feel like i could sum all of the main characters up in like 3-4 words, and while i was rooting for ead/sabran, even this, the most central relationship of the book felt... surface-level. like, there were some big emotional moments but generally all i felt was like ‘good for her’ or ‘that sucks i guess’, 2) this world & its mythology is very much inspired by eastern vs western dragonlore so i understand the need to ground the fantasy world with real-world parallels but the extent to which some of the countries are literally just fantasy versions of real countries was... frustrating? irritating?? this is especially grating as, while inys is very clearly fantasy!britain, there is a lot of cool world-building (religion, aristocracy, history/myth) to make it more than that, while fantasy!japan and fantasy!china are literally just ... ‘what if japan but with dragons’. i did like fantasy!netherlands because at least you don’t see that a lot. 3) so much of the plot is just people travelling to different locations to get and transport different items but most of the travelling is cut short by some magical animal/being turning up and just transporting them in a cutscene.. 4) considering that this is all about dragonlore the dragons sure aren’t as important in the end as the three macguffins of power. 5) i loved so much about kalyba but not where it led, that said i want a kalyba-hawthorn-nurtha backstory.   okay that’s it for now but like. idk. this had a lot of potential but the execution was just severely flawed. 2/5 

trust exercise, susan choi this was super hyped, especially for a game-changing twist of some kind, but has a rather low rating on goodreads (3.18!) so y’all know i was intrigued. i’m not going to give away the twist because it is genuinely really cool if not really all that original, but this is a really clever & cool book about theatre kids, teenage dramatics, constructing your own narrative and what that excludes, elides, changes, and most of all consent & abuse (some very triggering depictions of sex/sexual abuse here). i really liked this, and am considering buying a copy so i can reread it. 4/5

soldiers of salamis, javier cercas (tr. from spanish by anne mclean) very meta novel about a writer called javier cercas writing a book (tentatively called soldiers of salamis) about a (real) falangist poet who escaped a mass execution & survived in the forest for a while with a group of republican deserters. ‘cercas’ researches, speculates, despairs, talks to roberto bolano (who compliments his previous books lol), and finally tracks down the man who he believes/imagines/hopes to be the soldier who let said fascist poet go, leading him to consider who really should be remembered & written about. made me think about that one poem about reading ezra pount that ends w/ a veteran saying ‘if i knew a fascist was a great poet, i’d shoot him anyway.’ interesting book altho i far prefer his book anatomy of a moment, one of the weirdest & most fascinating nonfic books i’ve read. 3/5

the stopping places, damian le bas (audio) damian le bas comes from a settled british romani family and, feeling somewhat unsure about his place in & connection to the community, he decided to go on a roadtrip through britain (+france) in a van to seek out the atchin tans or stopping places, starting with the ones his great-grandmother remembers from her childhood before the family became settled. he combines the travelogue with insights into romani culture(s) (mainly british) and history, as well as his own family history. it’s really interesting & engaging (the history&culture more so than the travelogue) and le bas narrates the audiobook himself & sounds like a cool dude. 3.5/5

confessions of a bookseller, shaun bythell  bythell records a year of working as a second-hand bookseller, with an entry for every day. he talks about the impact of amazon, rude & weird customers (but also nice customers), his weird staff, and some of the books he’s reading. the look into bookselling in the age of amazon is pretty interesting but much of this is banal & repetitive, & if it wasn’t the perfect thing to read in little bits while at work i probably would have dnf’d it. 2/5

giacomo joyce, james..... joyce  super short story by my man jamesy joyce that never made it out of manuscript (literal). not much to say about this - it’s interesting to see jj play around with themes while still working on portrait & thinking bout ulysses & the prose is nice, but the whole english tutor feels attracted to his student is a bit... eh. 3/5

[zigsexual]

omg miss sarah zigsexual will you bless us with pining maxwell/mc in the high school au

ok so i dont actually have a highschool au for the gang, its really just the regression to teenage years of drake, liam, maxwell, and olivia at their elite rich kid boarding school (liam pays for drake) BUT the concept of this is so alluring that i made a whole au up just for you

first of all lets get things straight: maxwell and riley are a whole ass 80′s romcom john hughes movie complete with dramatic reveals and wisecracking jokes and overbearing displays of affection

riley plays lacrosse and she’s always toting around her gear and wearing her track pants but somehow they just look cute on her

maxwell is a loud class clown type who blatantly flirts with everyone 

whenever he does it to riley she just smacks him on the shoulder with her lacrosse stick

(idk why she’s carrying it around no one actually does that but this is not real life so she just has it)

her utter lack of response to him makes him increasingly fascinated by her and he goes to all the lacrosse games and makes up a new ridiculous excuse each time as to why he happened to be there, none of which involve him actually wanting to observe lacrosse

“i moonlight as a private eye for petty cash and one of my most promising leads arranged to meet clandestinely at this location, but backed out at the last moment due to fear they were being watched, and i stayed for the game so as not to arouse suspicion” “okay sure maxwell see you in algebra”

their showy flirtationship is mostly for laughs until one night she actually comes to one of his parties and when he finally gets around to talking to her he discovers that they both share an affinity for mastering wii just dance 3 specifically the apache jump on it dance

maxwell is like “i swear this is not a pickup line but do you want to come up to my room and we can see who’s better” and riley’s like fuck yeah i do

anyway they never do find out who’s better because maxwell can’t find a wii remote anywhere so they end up just sitting on his bed talking and riley shows him all her favorite vines that she has saved on her phone

they don’t even kiss or hold hands or anything but as soon as she leaves maxwell is like well i’m in love with that girl

he makes it his personal mission to take her to the prom and starts asking her every day for a month leading up to it in increasingly ostentatious ways

(day 3 was a singing telegram delivered in the middle of a dead-silent AP history exam; day 17 was a flash mob in the cafeteria; day 24 involved an actual horse)

she always laughs at him and says no and it becomes like kind of this game for him

his last public asking occurs after he is elected class president via an aggressive write-in campaign (several school administrators removed him from the official nominations) 

liam is mildly perturbed that his platform of affordable school lunches and personal finance education wasnt enough to clinch the win but hes still happy for maxwell because hes liam

anyway during his acceptance speech maxwell arranges for a large banner to unfurl behind him that just says RILEY BROOKS WILL YOU GO TO PROM WITH ME and runs into the audience to hold the microphone up to her for the reply

riley, leaning in for maximum effect: no

maxwell is kind of sad because this time he actually meant it but he just pretends its funny and then later sheds a single tear in the backseat of liam’s mercedes

riley ends up going to the prom with no one, just a group of girls from the lacrosse team, and when maxwell inevitably wins prom king he tries to find her to be his first dance (because the prom queen is olivia which GOD no) but she is nowhere to be found

he dramatically runs out of the prom venue because he is nothing if not dramatic and due to his spectacular 80′s romcom timing he manages to intercept riley just as she’s heading back out towards her car

and shes like what are you doing and why are you wearing a stupid crown and he’s like RILEY BROOKS I THINK YOU’RE THE COOLEST GIRL I’VE EVER MET AND I LIKE LIKE YOU and then the sprinklers come on the lawn they’re standing on and they both scream and then riley is like WHY DIDNT YOU SAY THAT EARLIER and flings herself into his arms and they just make out in the sprinkler water 

end scene

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: 2009

Masterpost

6x12: 2009

And... here we are, back to the start of all the things.  I don’t necessarily count this as part of the finale - I feel like this and Dreams Come True were two separate entities that they decided to throw together to make it seem like a two hour finale.  But I’m glad that we got this kind of an episode - because I feel like it’s a way to show just how far this show came in it’s short six years.  I know there’s discussion as to whether or not this would have been a good ender instead of DCT, and while I do see the appeal of the circular narrative, I prefer how it was aired -- looking back before closing the book for good.  

Hello, My Name is Kurt Hummel

The first half of the episode is dedicated to reframing the characters we’ve grown to love and we get to start with Kurt.  I kind of love that we spend time with the characters who weren’t developed in the pilot - not only because it gives us a different perspective of the pilot, but because these are the characters who the show gravitated to, and who really became solidified in our hearts.  And of course, Kurt gets to go first - because he wasn’t even in the pilot to begin with - and now this character is the male lead of the show.  It’s kind of poetic really.  

But before we get too deep, I need to point something out.  It’s funny to me that we can all look back at things and remember how they were - but there is a reality to the fact that we can never really go back.  The truth is - in the six years being on the show, Chris Colfer grew up - going from a slightly chubby-faced kid, into a full-fledged adult.  And no matter how hard they try, they can’t undo puberty.  

Chris is amazing in a lot of ways - he holds himself inward like he did in the first season, he tries to mirror the same mannerisms, he even tries to speak slightly higher again.  But you can’t mask the obvious - this kid is, well, not a kid anymore, and it shows.  Just needed to point that out ;) 

Anyway - when we open with Kurt, we see this very lonely and sad kid, slumping through the halls, still getting rammed into lockers by Karofsky (and Puck), and talking about how no one notices that he even exists. 

I like that he mentions his mom here - that he says she said he was a happy child.  And I have to wonder in these lonely days, if he misses his mom more.  She was a kind soul - a contrast to his dad’s gruffness, that soothed his unique heart.  He could be different - but his mom always loved him.  Mom isn’t around anymore, and the world seems cold and lonely.  

He mentions in this voice over that he wonders if anyone would notice if he was gone.  Yes - Kurt was situational depressed before he joined glee.  And yes, he was toyed with suicide -- maybe not to the extent that he’d try anything (he had his dad to look out for - and I feel like that always kept him going) but it was definitely a thing the show wants to point out as real.  And in the middle seasons - when Burt says glee saved his kid’s life - this is what Burt was referring to. 

Well - lucky for Kurt, as strange and awkward as Ms. Pillsbury is, she does do her job - and she does notice Kurt.  And really, let’s give Emma some credit here, because if Emma hadn’t talked to Burt, Kurt probably wouldn’t have joined glee - and who knows what would have happened.  

I like the little scene between Emma and Burt.  Burt knows something’s different about Kurt - and has suspected for a long time that he’s gay - but really doesn’t want to go there, and still thinks there might be some time for Kurt to grow out of being gay.  Luckily Emma kinda brushes pass that and explains to Burt that Kurt’s depressed and might possibly hurt himself.  And Burt, being the good dad that he is takes it seriously.  

Joining a Team

Hey! It’s Kurt’s old room - complete with weird bird cage chair and a sewing machine.  And those very white walls.  I’m surprised Kurt hadn’t already redesigned it into something more spectacular - but if he was feeling depressed, well then he probably didn’t feel like doing much of anything.  Anyway... Burt comes down to talk to him, and we get little snippets of what their life is like with each other.  

Kurt comments about making dinner -- which is what he probably does a lot of the time.  He likes cooking, Burt probably doesn’t, so Burt’s probably okay with him doing a majority of the meals.  Burt isn’t that comfortable talking about things - but makes an effort (which is huge!).  But within the conversation, Burt comments that they’re usually doing their own things and not really being a big part of each other’s lives.  

Burt, I don’t think, really knows how to handle the situation - and his solution is to get Kurt some friends, and find something that Kurt’s happy to do.  I don’t think yelling at his kid to join the football team is great advice, but I also don’t think Burt really knows what to do in this situation either, and reaches out in the only way he knows how.  

It’s interesting to me that Burt comments that Kurt’s basically alone all the time down there in his room.  And it made me think about how Burt was probably all alone too - not having met Carol yet, and probably feeling low-key depression (or just apathy) since his wife died.  Sure, Burt probably played poker with his buddies every once in a while, too -- but I get the impression that Burt is as lonely and isolated inwardly as Kurt is outwardly portraying.  It’s just an interesting dynamic here before they kind of turn a corner in Preggers. 

Rachel Berry

Burt made a demand that Kurt has to join something by the end of the week...  So Kurt, to his credit at least tries.  But first - I’d like to point out Kurt awkwardly needs to find a place to sit for lunch - and through our trek through the lunch room, we’ve got all the cliques and groups hanging around.  And this isn’t 2009, this is almost 1989.  Everything’s so stereotypical - it might as well have been a Saved by the Bell episode.  Oh Ryan Murphy and your issues regarding being in high school that play out through your numerous shows....  

Anyway - back to Kurt.  He finds Rachel Berry and promptly sits down.  And then tells her how wonderful she is (cause he watches her MySpace videos)  **headdesk**  And this, folks, is what we call retconning because I don’t actually believe that season 1 Kurt would be watching Rachel’s anything.  But the show is trying to connect its characters - and set up the Hummelberry friendship, so fine, I’ll let you pass.  The revert to early Rachel Berry is pretty funny. 

I’m not entirely sure what’s going on with Kurt’s hair during this episode.  They kind of go through all of Kurt’s iconic looks throughout season 1 and 2, which may have been the point.  Or maybe they forgot that Kurt wore his hair in one way during all of season 1.  Hard to say.  

Anyway...  oh Rachel.  Kurt says he needs to join a club and Rachel says speech club is closed (man - why didn’t we get to see Rachel in speech club, that would have been hilarious).  But then goes into a whole thing about how glee club is now open and looking for members.  And Kurt kind of hangs on for dear life as Rachel rambles on in her run-on sentences.  

I should mention, though, a contrast between Rachel and Kurt here, though.  Kurt claims he’s kinda toying with acting while Rachel says she’s going to be on Broadway and that’s it - she’s determined and unstoppable.  And I think it kind of speaks to their characters.  Sure, Kurt does have ambition, but he also is able to put his relationships before his career - while Rachel will do the opposite.  Idk - nice little bit of continuity here. 

Popular

And... we get Kurt wearing the same, weird, glasses shirt he was wearing in the pilot when he goes to sign up!  Anyway, Rachel has agreed to help Kurt with his singing, and of course - they decide to do a Wicked song (nice throwback to the diva-off in Wheels) about making one over to be popular.  Could their be a more perfect song for them as their last duet? I think not.  

I do like Kurt’s looks as Rachel (through the song) comments on his livelyhood - and how he won’t be an easy case to make over.  We do get a bit of that old school Kurt shining through here in his facial expressions.  And I do kinda love that it puts Kurt’s making over her in season 1 have even more context, which is fun (whether they intended that or not).  

I’m not sure if I have a whole lot to say about the song itself.  It’s pretty self explanatory - a conversation about being popular (which is a nice tie-in with the original theme of the show).  And it’s also a way for Kurt and Rachel to begin the bonding process (again, even if I don’t fully buy the retcon here).  

But more so - this is the last duet for Chris and Lea and they really just sell it.  It’s been a long time, actually, since we’ve had a Kurt and Rachel duet - and it’s nice to have again.  Their voices complement each other very well - and they have great give and take on stage.  This performance just works - is funny, well sung, and all around entertaining.  I have nothing but positive things to say about it. 

As the show wraps up - Kurt is happy and excited, wanting to do the audition together with Rachel.  However, Rachel has this weird idea in her head that you can’t team up to do auditions (even though Tina and Artie totally audition together).  Rachel dramatically storms off - claiming that this is show choir and it’s every man for himself.  Which is weird... because the purpose of show choir is to function as a full unit, not fight for solos, but I don’t think Glee really ever understood that concept.  

Kurt stands there stunned - and again alone.  

Mercedes Jones

Well - I’m glad it doesn’t take much to light a fire under Kurt’s butt.  Since Rachel isn’t willing - Kurt goes out and seeks someone else (the same day!) - and it happens to be Mercedes Jones - future BFF.  Kurt’s already enamored with her (which is adorable), and asks for her help preparing something for his audition.  

She thinks he’s adorable (she calls him a pale, sexy, keibler elf - let that sink in for a minute) but she also calls him out for slinking around the school and his loud sense of style.  He says that he feels more inside, but isn’t sure how to express it - and we get confirmation that Kurt lets his clothes express himself as a way that he can’t yet verbalize.  Well - luckily for Kurt (man does he get lucky having some great women in his life) Mercedes takes pity on him - and decides to help him out -- even picking out his audition song. 

Audition

So - we get the reprisal of Mr. Cellophane - what Kurt sang for his audition way back in the pilot.  And I love that we get it from the back side.  It’s not only a way to hide Chris’s growth into adulthood, but a neat way to show a new perspective.  

In case you were wondering what Will’s notes are: 

Great Breath Support

Impressive Range

Earsplitting falsetto (Note - does Will or the writers know that that’s not Kurt’s falsetto but his actual range?) 

Gay.  (Oy, whatever Will, not sure why that’s relevant) 

Sweet Kid!!! (Will added the exclamation points)

Hummel Tires and Lube

With all the throwbacks, I’m realizing this is the last time we get to see all these places.  Awww....  

So, Kurt comes bouncing into his dad’s shop all happy about joining the glee club, and Burt’s excited for him.  (I love that Burt thinks Beyonce is a kid in Kurt’s class.)  I kind of side eye that a) you can only bond with other people within competition - but from Burt’s perspective I get it and b) the fact that Kurt feels they need a strong male lead.  I get that Kurt might not feel confident yet to be a lead -- and that the show wants to bring back Finn (or at least his essence).  But I’ve had this issue with the show all along.  Kurt (and Artie) can be male leads - just because they aren’t ‘traditional’ doesn’t mean they can’t be.  Oy show. 

But the real bittersweet (and brilliant) moment of this scene comes at the end - and is a stark reminder of where we once were.  His dad is proud of him, and clearly loves him.  But Kurt still holds on to a deep secret - that he’s gay.  And he just doesn’t know how to tell his dad that.  We know what happens - we know that Burt’s going to officiate at Kurt’s wedding to a man some day.  We know that everything’s gonna play out alright.  But at one point in time - Kurt didn’t know.  And this scene really puts us back in the mind set.  

Also - I’d like to take a moment to mention that they use all the season 1 scoring - which a nice throwback to season 1, but also in building the atmosphere of the time period.  It’s just a nice touch. 

Little Moments

Kurt’s spotlight segment is over - but there’s still much more to this episode.  As Tina and Artie are figuring out their own auditions (which they’re dared to do) Kurt and Rachel are busy getting lunch thrown on them.  Ah kiddos... 

[Guys - when they do the throwback to class where the fury is complaining about Rachel - check the chalkboard - there’s a history of Lima there and it’s kinda funny]

Also - Kurt is back to doing stunning background moments, because he storms behind giving a death glare to the punk group Artie and Tina are in - it’s glorious. 

First Glee Club Meetings

Hey! It’s our first glee club meeting...  Will’s not very good at this, but at least he’s enthusiastic.  I don’t fully understand the need for the gloves though. 

Of course - everyone’s already fighting over solos.  Will at least says they’re going to take turns, but we all know how that’ll turn out.  Meanwhile - Will wants to do a medley from Grease (ah, set up I see...) and Kurt raises his hand to do the Sandy part.  Remember that weird, awkward Kurt gender stuff - hey it’s back.  

And then we get into some really uncomfortable stuff as Rachel says that the solos shouldn’t be about race, or disability, or ‘whatever’ as she points to Tina and Kurt (eesh).  And yeah - Rachel - sit down, you are being racist.  This is supposed to set up Mercedes breaking down though - and I am glad they finally, even if it’s at the end, address some of the racial stuff with Mercedes here.  

Kurt, though, looks annoyed (rightfully) at be labeled as a ‘whatever’ - and looks to Will for some kind of support - or at least wanting to shut Rachel down. But this is Will - and he’ll learn that he’ll never really be able to do that. 

Kurt doesn’t say anything here - but let’s take a moment to appreciate Chris’s background acting again.   Ah, welcome back to season 1.   

Lima Bean

So - Kurt and Mercedes are already hanging out together - lovely!  I totally get season 3 Kurt vibes from this scene, but ah well - who cares, it’s cute.  

Finn has joined the club by now - and Kurt’s complaining cause despite scenes ago saying they need a male lead - Kurt’s now irritated (as he should be) about being ignored for something more ‘traditional’.  

The point of this conversation is kind of to prop up Finn as needing them as much as they, supposedly, need him.  Mercedes is kind about the whole thing - and tries to see the positives, while Kurt goes on about being pushed out, and that the popular people seem perfect and don’t have issues.  (I feel like there’s some commentary about celebrity culture in here, too)  

But what I like is that Mercedes is constantly positive. Kurt’s kind of a negative person by nature - and she does bring out this brighter side of him, which is great! I do think it’s fun that they throw a nod into Mercedes’s crush.  Kurt kind of shrugs it off as nothing, but it’s a cute moment.  

Also - we get a throwback to Finn saying Mercedes should do the costumes - and Kurt says he’ll be the one helping her do that.  Cracks me up that they use this episode to ‘fix’ some weird/minor issues in the pilot.  Retcons ;) 

I’d also like to point out -- do you know who is standing right behind Mercedes at the moment -- where Kurt can see that blazered back (that he’ll probably see a lot of over his life time - now that I think of it...).  BLAINE!!!!

I’m so glad they let Blaine have a little moment in this episode. 

We get this super cute inner monologue of Kurt wrestling with himself over his crush on Finn as his future husband makes his way behind him.  I love that.  I love that they let that little crossing paths moment happen.  

Anyway - Kurt’s gotten to Mercedes enough that she’s going to call an emergency meeting about Finn joining the club. 

Emergency Meeting

And... we get rather meta in this scene - I love that they mention DSB being a nod to The Sopranos Ending - which was a legit thing I heard way back when.  

But mostly, this is where everyone bands together and decides Finn isn’t so bad.  Yay Finn!  Sure.  

Everyone goes around saying how Finn has been kind to them.  Kurt references his first scene of the show - being able to take off his Marc Jacobs jacket before being thrown in the dumpster (and then twitches - cause comedy).  

As Rachel throws out the message of the episode, and the show, about accepting of each other for being different (sure, fine) we get a camera lingering on Kurt.  And - omg.  This brings me season 2 feels.  And remember the time when Kurt often looked into the middle distance wistfully?  Oh kiddos - it does get better.  Or it has Bette Midler.  Which ever you prefer, really.  

But really - this scene, more than any other in this episode, really captures young Kurt.  I mean, Chris does angst so well, and it’s a nice little reminder of how this lonely and awkward kid grew into something incredibly special.  

Back to the Start

And then we get Don’t Stop Believin’ - as it was way back in the pilot.  It’s edited differently, more so to feature Finn (personally I like the original edit better - but I can see why they did it this way).  

But it’s a sweet little moment.  Remember when this show was filled with hopes and dreams and went out of its way to make people feel special? Remember when this show was an anthem for people who were weird or different or awkward or just plain didn’t fit in?  Remember when this show was fresh and not bogged down by baggage and bts drama?  For a moment - we can listen to Don’t Stop Believin’ and remember way back when and think about all the possibilities that were open to us.  

As a final confession - I would like to say this - I actually like this episode much more than the pilot - and probably would have been more invested in the show had it started with this.  But as much as they tried to recreate the feeling of season 1 - they just didn’t capture the dark and grittiness that accompanied it.  And this is a pilot to something that would have been vastly different.  And that’s okay.   

I am glad that we got this episode (I wish they had done more episodes like this, tbh), and I’m glad we got to dig in just a little deeper to Kurt’s story.  It’s been a fun journey, and I do think it was brilliant to have this episode right before the end.  But as I said at the start - I’m glad it wasn’t.  

There’s room for just a little more of the story, time to close everything up.... 

[kpopgerapitico]

Song of the Week

Let’s see if a better mood can be reached on this slow Friday night.

EDIT From future/past Sam: While I gave GOT7 the win, the spiritual win belongs to SuperM, who gave me the most affecting music experience of the week, with this video. Idk what my favorite part is, BoA just randomly being there, Lucas and Ten getting their sweat on, or all of the other bull the boys are doing on a plane. Maybe its the tight zooms they do on crotches when explaining how seat belts. Or maybe its the duet rap with a bunch of small children. Honestly the whole thing is a trip, and you owe it to yourself to go watch.

Honorable Mentions:

Acapella is always a choice that will get my attention. Green screen effects will often get my attention as well. The deep bass on Vincent’s Burn it All is what kept my attention, because every chorus made me immediately dig in to listen. The rest does a little bit too much, or maybe a little bit too little for me. It is solid on the whole, and definitely has my attention. I also love the very end, because of love all versions of a record scratch.

I love the disco influence on Dongkiz’ Fever, but I don’t think it can be underestimated I was that this wasn’t a trot song. They had every opportunity to go just the full way. They even had beats that are still associated with the trot genre today. So I’m disappointed, even if it is just as cheesy as Blockbuster was. And the whole visual is great again (though I doubt it is dancing ghost good).

I can’t decide if I like Dumb, or an just indifferent. BVNDIT seems decently talented, and the song is . . . Latin inspired power pop from a sexy girl group. And I think that might be the problem. In a saturated market, good is not longer enough for me. It is a specific genre that already has plenty of acts in it, many of whom I know and like better. It makes a new group have a lot to stand up against. I can see why people like it.

Literally the last guy listed on Ravi’s Limitless is my favorite part, and I don’t even really like it? It is all autotuned so so so so so much. And I don’t mind a little autotune, but a lot always ruins a song for me.

WayV is on the attack. Half the boys are shirtless, the song is pretty easy to interpret sexually, and the whole thing is shot in SM’s favorite box style. Oh, and it’s an NCT subunit in full English, so all us international fans can feel attacked by lyrics and visuals (TOUCH ME TEASE ME FEEL ME UP?!?!??!!). Though I will say some of the lyrics struggle to make any sense (not the native born English speakers manage to make sensible lyrics). Musically, Love Talk feels a little 90s boyband, and I’m not sure how I feel about that part.

It is very very very rare that I listen to more than 10 seconds of a Korean ballad. To add some perspective, I probably listen to a majority of ballads a week. And they very very rarely make it to the list. At this point in the week, I’ve probably listened to 12 or so. And honestly, I’m not really sure why I paused at Kim Yoon Hee’s Love Myself. It doesn’t avoid any of the tropes I hate. It doesn’t have particularly special vocals, or melodies, or emotion. The only thing I can place is a feeling of honesty, and bravery that I get from it. IDK if that is even what the song is about. Do with all that what you will.

The music only chorus of 1TEAM’s Make This is really interesting. Not enough to make me listen to it again, but definitely worth hearing once.

Hinapia’s Drip is in the same genre as BVNDIT, minus the Latin influence. I like it a bit better, but again, it is fighting in a saturated market. And again, I get why people like it, I just don’t think I’m people this time.

Tattoo fits into the same genre as The Boyz’ previous track No Air, with a few dreamier choice (that have been incredibly common among idol groups this week). Maybe, like No Air, it will be somewhat of a sleeper hit for me.

I have OPINIONS of GOT7′s comeback. First, Jinyoung is coming for me personally, and I do not deserve this kind of disrespect. Also, Mark’s verse is bad (don’t @me). And the whole vibe is not something I’ve heard from K-pop, and has a Billie Eilish pause on it, which is spectacular. If I get past the fangirling, it is still a pretty strong track. For such an established group (the video is over 21 million views in 4 days, which is nothing to sniff at), I appreciate that they haven’t let one sound define them. Well, besides songs that almost always have a strong dance influence. If you like GOT7, or hearing a new concept in K-pop, You Calling My Name is a pretty good place to start. And in a week where not a lot got to me, it hit hard. So it gets the W.

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Denmark to Eurovision with a cute multilingual jingle

Dansk Melodi Grand Prix is... a NF I don’t really have anything to say about. Like, you expect me to rile up 3 big paragraphs about the pre-NF dramas and what-not, but honestly... what’s the point.

Well, aside from the fact people did not really get excited over the lineup this year. Me neither from the names alone, actually. Even last year was more interesting to look at despite with another lineup of songs you can’t give a fuck about and then move on - I noticed they had Sannie who used to be known as Whigfield (”Saturday Night” <3333 the duck quacks <333), Ditte Marie (anyone remembers “Overflow” from 2012?) and Albin Fredy (which seems to be the same Albin that brought me my one of the two DMGP 2013 favourite songs, “Beautiful to Me”???). This year was a big “WHO IS SHE?? WHERE DID YOU FIND HER???”, so I just left DMGP in the corner where it picked cobwebs until not too long ago when someone got chosen.

Well, this NF keeps being a NF where I don’t personally feel too emotionally fucked about any of them entries, so that’s a big plus in my book, which will mean that I won’t throw a “THIS WAS ROBBED!!!1″ post on Denmark NF-wise... at least this year and the last year because I really loved “Venter” in 2012 and the said “Beautiful to Me” and “Invincible” in 2013 (I also liked “Only Teardrops” but I was mad its victory was so obvious xD). As for why I like it when the NFs don’t toy with my feelings, A Dal 2019 is an obvious demonstration, but more on that on my Hungarian writeup, which is significantly longer than this one - that’s how much of a demonstration it is.

Anyway, let’s talk about the chosen song, shall we? Performed by a smol skater girlie Leonora (Jepsen), here comes “Love Is Forever”, which was co-penned by the ever-so-notorious Lise Cabble - the champ-mastress of writing Eurovision songs for the Danes (by that I mean she wrote their 1995 entry... and then none of her entries got chosen for ESC until 2011 lol). And this is a significally softer turn of hers compared to “Only Teardrops” - ever since Anna Ritsmar in 2018′s DMGP, she tends to write cute, acoustic tunes sung by young ladies with their lil cute and lil crispy voices. “Love Is Forever” is just that, tbh.

Well THAT and also it sounds like a lovely acoustic background song for those funny photos/student quotes/test answers/etc. compilation videos on Youtube (I actually am talking about the channel Scoop, because other kinds of compilation videos use Youtube Audio Library-like pop songs or something straight off NoCopyrightSounds). Or the theme song for a TV programme for animals. Or the theme song for a children's programme they show at hospitals. There's so many places you can insert it into, I guess. At the same time it feels like a cupcake with pink frosting that tastes nice. And a cup of warm cocoa with whipped cream and sprinkles. It's a delightful bite. Yum.

Realistically though, the song itself has an easy noddable-along-to rhythm, cute violin string plucks, the capability to melodically progress to sound even more joyful (I mean, the chorus just adds more and more layers of brass as it keeps repreating, just giving it a bit more of a typical Scoop channel background music material), the D flat major key of this song’s uplifts the spirits of this whole shebang and it also somehow includes lines in some more languages than expected in a Danish song ever, how odd it seems like??? And it’s especially given that we haven’t really heard Danish in a song since like what, 1997?? We only got “shout insh’allah” and “taka stökk til hærri jörð, taka” ever since then, and these aren’t remotely Danish lines. But this year we’re getting some Danish, and French, and even German. Feeling the love in multilingual. L’amour est pour toujours, y’all! Liebe IST für alle da!

There are also people that aren’t buying into the song all that much because Leonora looks way too creepy to sell a song about love love peace peace, like someone emerging out of a demented cabaret. I suppose that other people think that this song was forced onto Leonora when she didn’t really want it, and now has to pretend that we have to spread love to the world, make friendships with others, don’t get too political, and then act all supercool about it. The saddest bit that she does sound like that person that would sing a song like that... young, with a passion for skating, looks like a person that could probably hug you when you least expect it, the one that posts light purple sweater pictures with a glitter effect applied to them on Tumblr, the one who would wear white mittens with a giant red snowflake painted on/knitted into them... I don’t know if that’s all Leonora wanted to compete with in DMGP to make a breakthrough with her singing career after skating so darn much, and if she even believes in what is she singing (this is my rare reminder of the war situation in Israel that’s going on, and I’ll probably never have to speak of this again in any writeup, hopefully. Yeah sure, love is for ever...), but I somehow buy it, sue me. Those acoustics and that touch of brass instruments won me over.

So my final thoughts on this song is that it’s a joyball with that kind of song message so overused I cannot be angry on it because it’s not slapped on a dreary Russian peace ballad - it’s a singer-songwriter-esque small showtune, which makes it all seem a lot different because love is cute and this song is cute. So I guess I have no issues with it, whereas I can’t stand the aforementioned Russian peace ballads all that much because if you remove the good singers singing it, they’re cliché af; “Wars for Nothing” (Hungary 2015) sounded too innocent while having a full gun tree serving as a backdrop for them and if you looked too much into Boggie’s eyes, you could very well feel her penetrating your soul with war imagery; and Iceland last year was a knock-off Russian peace ballad that sounded too good to be unbearably dreary and the vocalist wasn’t even a belting girl. So yeah, I like it. More adorable songs about spreading love, less overdone ballads about world peace.

Thing is though, why did she really dress like a barista from a late-night-open cocktail club? I get that looking like a princess à la Maria Olafs won't cut it anymore as it would look way more saccharine, but Leonora is up like she's there to serve you your damn drink as soon as possible so she could go outside for a small smoke break, not to advertise love. Watch me make "when you have Eurovision at 9 and job at a cocktail bar at 11" memes on the night of the 16th. Seriously, her image barely even fucking suits the song!

Approval factor: Well, one of my faves won DMGP again, for the 2nd time in a row, so why wouldn’t I approve? ^_^ Love from me is forever!

Follow-up factor: For Denmark it kind of seems like a decent follow-up? For all those out here that remember Denmark as the nation that plagiarises every other entry, it would just seem logical for them to finally send a generic royalty free ukulele song for Youtube videos. Which is spectacular! No one knows which song did this one exactly plagiarize - the entire concept was ripped off! Jokes aside, it’s an interesting one after Rasmussen. After a song that urges you to lay your weapons down in a war and go find higher ground more peacefully, we’re now getting a morale on the fact that love is for ever and everyone. Isn’t it sweet. I’d rather these than a bland love song about laying down armours and guns. ^_^

Qualification factor: depends. For now I feel like writing it off because to the 1% of the people who’ve already heard this song beforehand and hate this song, the whole thing feels like “love :) is :) forever :) please love everyone you little shit :) :) :)”. To some others however, like Luke Malam from ESCXtra, it’s a song that definitely makes them feel the love being forever, just like “yaaaay we love each other and the world yaaaay!!! ^o^”, so it’s perhaps a bit of a mixed bag. I wanna see it through though, just as much as I want to see Lithuania, about which I will be talking next in these write-ups. But I see it very much so as a borderline because... idk, just a gut feeling. Sometimes songs that ooze loveliness just don’t quite get themselves across the other hand side of the viewer thus they don’t really qualify, for example, Finland 2012, another song sung by a lady better known as a sportswoman rather than a singer (but maybe that’s just because there was too much intimacy of hers with her and her celloist’s mom, and she looked too awkward to pass the intimacy to the viewers so they too could feel the loving bond and the life metaphors coming from a Finnish entrant singing in Swedish). For now from me it’s a positive borderline. Yes, I think that it probably will make it and we’ll see that large Ikea chair prop with many people swaying to the rhythm on it next to Leonora on Saturday as well.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

Even with me not having much to say about DMGP, I will go ahead and cherrypick the favourite songs from the event:

• The big favourite of mine this year was brought by Julie & Nina, who served a bilingual schlager-like midtempo track, “League of Light”. Hats off to sounding properly Eurovision-y but without using a “rent-a-NF-songwriter” songwriter for to write this! It’s soaring, majestic, somewhat memorable and inclused Greenlandic. Yeah. Do you believe that this would have been a year where we could’ve gotten more exotic Language spins? Now we have lost both Aboriginal and Greenlandic out of Eurovision, hopefully just for this year so the languages can return again sometime. I’m proud of these women being so courageous and delighting some that really wanted schlager pop that still can click with some that are bored of Eurovision NF schlager cliches. Oh and this song is in A flat minor, probably one of my favourite keys in music. Not too bad, everything this was, although the aggression they transmitted through the song during their live DMGP performance kiiiiinda made them looked like pissed-off housewives imo?

• Them both and this guy below, Sigmund, were picked to the superfinal to compete against Leonora. What was Sigmund’s contribution and why did he deserve to be there so much? Well, I really love his colourful flamboyant electropop track that has piano influences, “Say My Name”, which lyrically reflects on the song’s protagonists big power that he will probably have if only the invisible force Sigmund’s singing to would just “say [his] name”. And I definitely think he deserved his spot over some really nice pop entries that the fandom definitely overrated. Oh and the song is in A flat minor too. Maybe I’m biased, maybe I’m not. You judge. >:)

• See, I don't feel like talking about the DMGP songs this year. It's a cool bunch of songs that some of them I like but nothing quite outstanding to talk about beyond those I already have paragraphs for. Well maybe you'd like to look up the entries by Humorekspressen (for to get a pub singalong song) and Jasmine Gabay (for to get yet another Latino-influenced Havana club track). But that's it. Here from me the last one you'll be getting is Simone Emilie with her teen-flavoured light radiofriendly dance-ish song "Anywhere". Why didn't it do better despite having the power to click with the Eurofans quite much? Well, maybe it's because her backdrop and the fairytale-esque dress went for another kind of atmosphere than it was required to have on the song.

• I don't know, I just find this particular winning reaction shot funny. Not sure if she's yawning or being like "yaaaazs bitchesss ;) 😄 ✨" in here. I gotta say - her lipstick was definitely on fleek that night.

That guy below her takes the cake at making this shot memorable too. Do you want the invisible meal Leonora is about to take a bite of too?

And besides that moment I don’t really have any on-show moments besides songs that were somewhat memorable. Why do Danes always have to be this vanilla in the Nordic country barrage, I will never get. That’s it. That’s their crime. Of being average. And being sued for plagiarism a lot in the past.

For now I’d just wish Leonora good luck in Tel Aviv and show ‘em that love can and will prevail before hatred does, if only people remember to love... ah wait, wrong kind of philosophy.

[oswhys]

Dumb AC concept ideas

So this is basically a info dump of ideas for potential AC games and concepts that its been playing with in my head, it's mostly me nerding out about junk (look if I can info dump about Teotihuacan I’ll do it.) like it's ideas that I think would be cool and what id want to see in future installments, even if they aren't likely to happen. It's also written super casually cause I started making this in a burst of inspiration at like 2 am and yet still got distracted from it cause I started going on tangents. So it's a bit of a mess. I’m totally down for bouncing ideas around if anyone has their own concepts.

1920’s jazz age assassin from the beginning of unity and the abstergo employee handbook. "The lives and failures of the most degenerate Americans to ever grace the world's stage - Hemingway, Fitzgerald, and Stein." please tell me how this doesn't sound cool as shit? Okokokokokokok SO… CARS. like this dude would have a car (and of course the player can earn different cars and looks for their car and junk, including a yellow Duesenberg… like come on if he knew Fitzgerald they gotta let this dude drive Gatsby's car.)  I think there can be an argument about him having a rope launcher attachment buuut maybe not??? I mean a car and a rope launcher would be dope as hell. The dude probably bounced between Paris and New York if he's a genuine jazz age junkie like how abstergo describes him and his writer pals. Also it would be cool to meet Picasso… also his base of operations should be a fucking speakeasy, like duh, like where else would a 1920’s assassin camp out? I don’t really have any plot ideas but the concept of a jazz age assassin is cool enough for me to want it this badly.

1970’s-1980’s William Miles in a corporate espionage type game, like i know he had Desmond in 1987 but he was an active filed assassin in 1977 when he was in Moscow so clearly he could've been doing other junk around then. It doesn't have to be him, i just want a 70’d-80’s assassin trying to fuck with abstergo and trying to steal animus research or something. Like Alieen Bock died in 81 and that was at the height of animus research before abstergo started really investing in it cause of Vidic. Like the surrogate initiative and the animus project are… basically the same thing really. Like knowing that Altair and Ezio were not actually related until their bloodlines crossed with Desmond. So with the memory keys being cited as an integral part of the animus project they obviously had a role to play in the surrogate project. Besides the newer games are pretty loosey-goosey with how the DNA and animus junk works now, with the spear having DNA traces or whatever and its corrupted enough that we could… choose things?? (don't ask questions just have fun i guess.) ok i’m over thinking this stuff… but come on… disco!!!!! Please please please have a disco assassination. Like… the idea of an assassin taking out a target at the disco is cool enough for me to want it. ALSO!!! If it goes into the 80’s then please for the love of god a Thriller inspired outfit would be to die for. Like i know getting the exact look would be a trademark nightmare but an inspired look may be able to get away with it. I just want some real corporate espionage type missions while dressed in some brightly colored dorky(cool as shit) 70’s/80’s fashion.

So like… ANYTHING from ancient Andean culture. So The Chimú or the Moche… that would be cool, but I'd settle for Wari and Tiwanaku. I just kinda want to see Chan Chan recreated. And Moche art was so fucking good like… idk man they're making video games that are mostly of ancient cultures now so the possibility of them making something in a more modern setting is slim to none. Like come on they're gonna want to make like idk maybe one more really ancient cultural game so they can still reuse assets again before making a whole new saga. That's just their track record. The problem with doing an ancient andean cultural video game is that there isn't a lot to work with other then our knowledge of the architecture and artistry of the ancient peoples. We have art documentary significant events but there isn't really any historical recordings so there's no significant figures to meet or events to take part in that we know of right now. BUT that also means that hey if Ubisoft wants us to have freedom of choice within the narrative this would be a great opportunity.

Speaking of ancient culturesssss ancient Mexican cultures would be REALLY cool too. Like obviously Mayans culture is the first to come to mind but AC already kinda explored the Mayans so idk maybe a more underrated ancient culture deserves the spotlight. The Zapotec and other civilizations in the Oaxaca. Like this would be really cool since we actually see a rise in raiding and conquest warfare, like theres these bas-relief stone carvings called Las Danzantes which are actually depictions of sacrificial victims, most likely foreign captives. The architecture is also to die for like i’m a sucker for talud-tablero style stuff popping up in ancient Latin america. Also do i gotta say it? BALL COURTS!!! A recreation of the ancient ball game in a video game would be cool as shit my dudes like… please i want this so bad. Like how origins depicted mummification with respect I’d love to see the same kind of loving dedication to the funerary practices of the ancient peoples. (off topic completely but some latin american civilizations had their own forms of mummification) like i wanna see the abandonment of Monte Alban and the later use of it by the Mixtecs. But the most important thing about the celebration of the ancient Zapotec would be the ability to celebrate the modern Zapotec culture, that would just be cool. Ok I’ll finish up this train of ideas with the one i really really really want to see recreated, the original Teotihuacan, before the Aztecs found it. With the pyramids being painted and covered in beautiful carvings and, of course, talud-tablero style architecture. It's basically the biggest ancient city in mesoamerica with hidden cave systems that we are still finding today and so much of the ancient city was built over because it might've been covered up or eroded to the point where no one knew it was there, or because there wasn't really anyone who cared enough to uh, not build on top of historical sites. Modern mexico city is built all around and on top of it (apparently you can see Walmart from the top of the temple of the sun…) so its a huge ancient city that was really colorful and really populated with crazy ancient tunnels underneath the pyramids that we’ve only discovered recently so how fucking cool are those possibilities? Like i just can't get over the idea of some assassin-esque person climbing up red pyramids and sitting next to statues and carvings of Queztalcoatl painted in a turquoise. Ancient farms and city life thriving. From what we know about it, like many other ancient latin american cities it was abandoned at some point, exactly why is unclear though (probably a mix of things cause there wasn't any kings really but more like… neighborhood councils (that's the best guess rn)). It was an actual city though, most archaeologists compare it to modern cities due to its city planning and its huge population. What was left behind was so spectacular that when the Aztecs found it they legit thought it was the city of the gods. This was a real fucking city and I’m crazy about it man i want it in a fucking video game my dudes.

COWBOYS PLEASE. Like i know rdr2 came out so they probably wont do it (for a while at least) and they already have the gold rush assassin so they've dabbled with cowboy stuff but… cowboys… like theres nothing else to say really… Cowboys. Also like i know how AC is pretty much ass melee combat and cowboys means guns and lots of guns and bows and probably rope darts. But… folding swords. That my shitty solution to have melee combat, like syndicate had melee and some gun stuff cause duh, but it was mostly melee. Like you can make the game centered around stealth so a lot more sneaking then combat, kinda like in unity. I have a few ideas for this one but most of them play into my own personal cowboy wish fulfillment fantasy of owning a farm with snakes for the production of venoms and other toxins. It's hard to explain but i kinda really want to see someone with a snake/spider enclosure where they produce venoms for the protag to use. The specific time period i have in mind is like 1870-1888 but it could defo go later. It's just that was peak for a lot of famous gunslingers and robberies. And Mesa Verde was basically rediscovered in the late 1880’s (its kinda weird like it was “officially” discovered in 88 but others saw it before that soooo. Also Montezuma Castle would be cool to visit in game as well. I dont have have a lot of knowledge about mesa verde or Montezuma but i know they're cool af.) the wild west is just ripe with possibility so i have some hope they’ll do one in the future but i don't see it happening anytime within the next couple of years.

Please for the love of god give me a AC3/unity dual sequel. Set in 1798 Egypt before during and maybe a little after the french invasion of Egypt. There would be a ton to work around and justify to get that to happen in universe buuuuut… i want it so badly. I have a shit ton of ideas but im saving all of that for a rainy day. 

I wouldn't mind if they actually did stuff with WWI, mostly cause i really like that one WWI assassin from project legacy and Lydia's whole thing was really cool.

Ok I’m kinda on burn out after all that cause I just… its 4 AM and i’m supposed to be writing a paper but I made this big fucking oops.

[wiccamoody]

Alright, under the cut is my ii review. It's very long and divided into sections because I'm like that.

The audience

I'm starting off with the easy bit. So something I didn't entirely expect (but kind of did at the same time? Usually I'm pleasantly surprised by these kinds of events) was how old I felt. I'm 19. I'm practically a baby. I shouldn't ever feel old unless I'm surrounded by kindergarteners. But besides people's parents and a few people who I could tell were my age or older, everyone was so young. I mean, duh, I'm pretty sure the average age in the phandom is like 16 or something, but it was wild to me, though maybe that's because I've curated the shit out of my fandom experience. And this wasn't a bad thing at all! The only bad thing about feeling 'old' was that people letting out ear splitting screams at literally nothing was giving me a headache and made me roll my eyes at multiple points (ahem, I think screaming when you see the empty stage that we've seen a million times before is a bit much, but maybe that's me being grumpy). Otherwise, it was really, really nice to see such a diverse and lovely group of people come together and just have fun. I wasn't dancing at any of the songs or whatever (but you bet your ass I sang my heart out when WTTBP was playing), however it was really cute to see people in such good moods. It's one of my favourite parts of fandom events. I was glad that this one wasn't like some events I've been to where people are dicks to everyone is they aren't friends with. Everyone just seemed so nice and happy, and I really felt a sense of community there too, which was lovely. Also, even though I've said this several times, it really was so lovely to meet @lesterchuu and @astudyinfondness. They were so lovely and it was great to meet people off the internet. 

Okay, now that we've got the fluff out of the way, let's get to the meat of this review: the show.

Dan

To put it plainly: Dan was acting. I'll get into why Phil was but also "wasn't" acting, but it was very clear that Dan was playing ~Daniel Howell. He had a few character breaks, like when he smacked his leg into the stage twice and almost said fuck both times. He also fiddled with his mic a lot, and I don't know if that's giving his hands something to do while Phil's talking, or if it was actually bothering him, but it was something I noticed.

Speaking of mannerisms, I was surprised to see how, for lack of a better term, 'campy' Dan's body language can be. He also walked very awkwardly across the stage a few times, which made me laugh.

Anyway, Dan was really interesting for me to watch because he was so in character the whole time. His 'Dan' voice is something that kind of bothers me after a while (which is why I like his liveshows the best out of his solo content), and while I didn't get bothered by it during the show, I was extremely hyper aware of its presence, which was the main thing that made me go "Oh Dan's really acting right now". Maybe that should be super obvious since I've listened to audio clips of the show before and know that it's 90% scripted, but I suppose I wasn't expecting it to be so obvious to me when I was watching it. Also, it was incredibly jarring (but also pleasant, in a way) to hear Dan's cackle irl. Along with that, Dan's facial expressions were always 'turned on'. Besides when he fixed his mic, whenever Phil was talking he looked full of energy and rearing to go.  Dan's dedication to his character kind of took me out of the loose narrative of the show because of how obvious I found it to be, but I know that's just me over analyzing things since I generally find Dan's mannerisms so interesting to watch. He did a really great job though.

Phil

I found Phil so much more interesting to watch through the whole show. Phil was definitely acting, but it was different from the way Dan was acting. Dan had the pacing and energy of someone who has to stay in a relatively emotionally stagnant character, while Phil came across very similarly to how he does in his videos. It was definitely played up a bit more because he's still acting in a stage show (side note: they must have decided to get some training before this one because they were a lot less stiff than in tatinof. I've only seen the youtube red version of it, but even then their acting was Not Great in it compared to this time around), but he felt more true to the Phil we see on the gaming channel and in liveshows than Dan did.

I think a lot of Phil's behaviour in this particular show was influenced by how exhausted he seemed to be that day. He looked tired in his instagram story, and on stage he definitely had a more neutral face than Dan did when Dan was talking. There were a few moments where I could see Phil falter and watch his expression shift to his 'Done' face, but it was only for a split second every time (yeah, I barely looked at them when they were talking. I was mostly trying to see what they looked like when the other was talking because for some reason I feel like that's more telling. Maybe I'm weird idk).

I'm not sure if he always sits for the simulation bit, but the fact that Dan didn't made me think that they usually stand so I think the tour was really starting to take a toll on him near the end there. He also popped a few squats and swayed his hips a lot which was amusing to me. Oh, and a bit that I found hilarious was after he got off the wheel and was undressing, he bent over so his ass was facing the audience while Dan was talking and everyone cheered which cut Dan off. Phil was struggling to get the suit over his shoes too so he kind of waddled into one of the wings but the spotlight kept following him. Eventually he just sat down on the stage and pulled it off, but I thought it was a funny moment (even if it's something that happens at every show where Phil's on the wheel).

Something else about Phil that really shone through here, similar to how it is in videos but not to the same extent, is how naturally funny he is. Again, it wasn't to the same extent that it is in videos since he's acting, but some of their little ad libbed moments were so much better because of Phil's quick humour.

Dan & Phil

Something I noticed right away was that their dynamic was far from the flirty and silly one we get on dapg, or even in joint videos/liveshows. I expected this since the show is mostly scripted, so that's fine, but it was still  very obvious to me the entire time. They didn't bounce off of each other in the same way they do in videos of course, but god they work so well together. The show didn't change my perception of them in the slightest, but it did make me see how much of a unit they really are. This was something I was very aware of before obviously, but seeing it irl made it a little more concrete, which was interesting. They really are the perfect package deal together and for each other. Their dynamic made me crave more from them though. The inner workings of their relationship are so interesting to me, and while it's far more likely than not that we'll ever get even the smallest glimpse into that part of their lives, it has me intrigued. But more on that later.

Moving onto the extremely superficial portion of this section, I was surprised to see how...similar they look to how they appear in videos. I was close enough to be able to see their sweat and whatnot, and I found it odd how they actually do look like they do online. I realise how ridiculous that sounds, but it was something that was running through my mind. The way they move their bodies was really quite awkward at times, but honestly I relate and I had a feeling they would be a little awkward in some bits. There was a moment when Dan looked right at the spot where I was sitting for a long time (obviously not directly at me, but in a spot either right in front or behind me--maybe he zoned out) while he was talking about something. I think it was during the real conversation section because he was sitting down, but I really didn't hear anything either of them were saying because my mind was like "wow his eyes are a really nice shade of brown" haha. In short, they're both pretty. Oh, and I could definitely see Dan's nipples the entire time.

The show & what I took away from it

To sum up my feelings in a few words: I really enjoyed myself! I had a lot of fun, but all it really did was make me crave a real conversation with them. This show was not nearly as enjoyable to me as a video or a liveshow, and I didn't expect it to be. I knew that it was going to be formulaic and that there would be a few moments that I would genuinely adore, but otherwise it was just going to be a fun time where I spend way too much money and get to see them 25 feet away. That's not a bad thing, either. I'm okay with that. I went in knowing that nothing revolutionary is going to happen because this show really isn't about me as a fan, or my fabricated one-way friendly connection to them, or what I want from them. I'm simply there to enjoy myself and explicitly support them monetarily, which is expected and fine. And I also never anticipated this show to be mind blowingly spectacular or anything, concept and script-wise. I don't expect that from Dan and Phil ever, and that's really not why I watch them. I'm definitely here because their chemistry is like nothing else and I find their relationship so fascinating. I think overall as someone who wasn't anticipating much and who had spoiled themselves as much as possible, seeing it actually exceeded my expectations. And it's a big plus in my book that it actually was a lot better than tatinof (but that's a whole other post tbh). The only thing that really annoyed me was the way fic is treated, but this happens in every show so I was expecting it, though it didn't stop me from being unimpressed. Oh, and I didn't appreciate being constantly shamed for voting for the craft videos. We all know that's where their content peaked.

I'm a little frustrated by how much it made me actually want to get to know them though, like I said earlier about being intrigued by the inner bits of their dynamic. I've said this for years, but I'd really love to have a long chat with them over coffee or drinks. I think it would be interesting. But that's a pipe dream and a half so this will definitely suffice.

I adore how queer the show was too. The fact that they're comfortable enough now to travel around the world with so many queer references in the scripted parts of their show makes me really happy for them.

Overall, I left the show in a good mood and feeling really fond of them. It was a nice time.