#idk. im not explaining this well. its just that it feels like people are shouting BE AWARE !!! at you about an issue you really cant help

[butch-chastity]

the longer I exist online the more I feel like a lot of people think politics are like. awareness fairs. about awareness.

[bathroomtrapped]

ohmygod i literally just made an account on letterboxd bc i watched saw (2004) and loved it so much and ur interview was so inspiring to me and ive been on an absolute craze trying to reblog like every single saw post on tumblr and i somehow found your account what the heck?!!?!?! ur art is AMAZING and i absolutely love ur takes on saw as a franchise and its significance to the queer community. i hope to be as knowledgeable of this franchise as you are one day despite me only being a baby saw fan!!

i had a quick question; i found on the saw heritage post blog that they thought leigh/james/someone else confirmed that saw (2004) did not actually occur the day before 9/11 despite the phone given to them being set to that date. however, when i asked them if they knew where this source was from (bc im so curious!!! i want to know everything!!!!!!) but neither they nor i could find the actual source for that so i was wondering if maybe u knew??? just curious :3

regardless ty for taking the time to read this and dedicating so much time to this fandom!! i love that horror fans like you exist in a fandom that i previously thought would be weird and slightly disturbed film bros (i had a lot of incorrect preconceived notions about saw that have been quickly resolved i promise)

thank you!! im glad that people feel the same way about it as i do but even if people thought i was some crazy transexual making everyone else woke and pronouns, i wouldnt care. the story, especially lawrences but adams as well, really resonates with me as a trans person for so so many reasons, more than i listed in the interview. to me, i cant read his character without filling in the gaps with trans subtext. it not only explains but also enriches the personal experiences of these characters as well as their dynamics with each other. theyre both characters that are defined primarily by how theyre seen by other people, themselves, and eventually each other. the narrative is soooo focused on perception and masks and who u truly are, i find it hard to separate any kind of queer theory from that.

as for the 9/11 question thats such a dumbass pet peeve of mine. its one of the things that makes me shout UMMMM ACTUALLY at the top of my lungs. my blood pressure sours to inhuman levels when someone confidently says the movie takes place not just in 2001 but the day before 9/11. not because of some interview or confirmation from any of the crew because my knowledge of old fandom history is incredibly spotty. old sites and interviews r a mystery to me for the most part BUT! the reason it is for sure not before 9/11 is because during the flashback of pauls trap (during lawrences monologue about jigsaw) kerry tapp and sing are all at the scene with other officers and i believe its kerry who holds up an evidence bag thats labeled 2004. the scene takes place 5 months before the events of saw 1 so its not possible that it takes place 3 years before that. it just seemed like a funny (but insanely bold considering how 9/11 was only 3 years before) joke and easter egg for people to catch on to, not actual lore meant to be taken seriously.

if u want to look for the interview, i would honestly just listen to the commentary tracks bc it mightve been said there. i know in the one with leigh, james, and cary they discuss plot holes fans complained about, questions fans had online, the fanfic they read (briefly LOL). ive only seen that one (and once) but theres at least 2 other commentary tracks with different people that i havent gotten around to for fear of like. completing saw? idk i cant bring myself to watch all of the commentary tracks but theres a chance they discuss it there! i can only speculate on the reason, all i know is that saw 2004 takes place in 2004 based on actual evidence from the media itself

if u have any other questions let me know. i still have the original draft of the interview which had more questions and longer responses bc i couldve gone on for days abt the lore and saw queer theory and ill never shut up about it

[fefairys]

I cannot fucking stand Mituna myself. I hate him so much actually. I guess it's mostly irrational but I dislike him for the same reason I'm not a big fan of Tavros; I hate that they exist to be Hussie's disability punching bag and that's reflected in how the people around them treat them

see but i dont think thats what mituna is, really. thats not how i interpreted what i just read, idk.

here is what we see:

meenah expresses surprise that latula and mituna are still together, because she thinks he sucks, and latula says "he's more than the terrible shit he's always saying, and also i feel like he kinda needs me" and meenah is like "well ok then" basically lmao and thats that

in the next dancestor flash, meenah has a couple conversations with mituna wherein she calls him "the worst" and says she "doesnt know how latula deals" because of all the inappropriate things he says. mituna calls her a "wader" which makes kankri come in and start talking about how mituna is "bad representation" for existing. then meenah defends him and says "vantas youre being a shit dont talk about him like that"

THEN cronus takes his anger out on him and verbally abuses him, blames mituna for ruining his chances at romance or whatever, cuz, yknow, he's terrible and we are supposed to think he's terrible, while he just stands there and says "im sorry", until meenah comes and defends mituna again and calls cronus out for being a shithead.

and then, when aranea gives her exposition on mituna, meenah says something like, wow that was genuinely interesting for once, thanks!

like she sees him as a person who deserves to be treated with respect, but she cant just ignore when hes shouting obscenities and sexually harassing her either. its complicated. like at the very fucking least, he is given some defense by the pov character of these sections.

how i see it is that the narrative is not particularly trying to Say anything about mituna (or tavros for that matter) or what they are "deserving" of or viewing them as "punching bags", i think it is just showing some fucked up shit for the spectacle of it without taking any sort of solid stance.

like, who do we see actively treating mituna badly? meenah, kankri, and cronus. i dont think i need to explain how those three are like. absolutely not "people we are supposed to agree with" NO ONE in homestuck is "person we are supposed to agree with on all things" and i think that trying to ascertain how hussie feels about how people should be treated, or ascertain any of hussie's opinions by looking at the things the homestuck characters say, is not going to work out.

even the homestuck book commentary where they speak in their own voice is a mixed bag of sincere and insincere statements CONSTANTLY. it is often very hard to parse when they are being serious and when they are trolling. so like. i dont know man. maybe hussie IS an ableist asshole who thinks disabled people should just, like, get over their disabilities and stop being so weak. i guess who is really to say.

i do think that regardless of how they actually feel, the jokes are distasteful and shouldn't be made. it certainly makes me uncomfortable.

tl;dr: i dont think that mituna and tavros are necessarily "disability punching bags". i think everything in homestuck is mostly just A Fucked Up Spectacle that we are supposed to ogle at and not take moral lessons from one way or the other. regardless of the intent, the content is distasteful and makes me uncomfortable and its valid to be upset about the treatment of these characters.

[zukkacore]

I would fucking love to learn about hockeygate

I'm not the most involved in booktok but i was privy to this drama i don't know how but i did stumble upon it. To be fair. There's literally like articles and videos and stuff that probably explain it better than me, like this is actually getting mainstream coverage it's kinda wild.

Anyway it starts with the fact that there's this Why Choose (reverse harem) hockey romance book that blew up on tiktok called Pucking Around.

So it becomes a thing on tiktok for people who like this book to basically to do faceclaims for the characters with actual real hockey players—i'm not sure if this was independently inspired or if the author was like "yeah these fictional hockey players are totally inspired by [insert real hockey player here"]. One of said fancasts is this guy named Alex Wennberg who plays on the Seattle Krakens.

This booktoker named Kierra Lewis blows up really quickly and gets a pretty decent following mainly from, like, making comedic tiktoks that are basically thirsting over these real hockey players on the Seattle Krakens & how much they look like her book boyfriends which includes Alex. & im sure its like meant to be all in good fun & hornyposting online has its sphere as long as its not invading the lives of the real people involved (kinda like how everyone had the hots for Pedro Pascal which i get but contriving every interview so that he's bombarded with everyone's thirst tweets and comments feels like its devolving into harrassment guys) so i get that. A lot of the jokes are sexual & there's a pretty common one she makes about wanting Alex Wennberg to "crack her back" etc, its play on "break my back" i think? Or maybe its a kraken pun?? idk.

& a lot of the hornyposting about the hockey players involves like making fancams of the players groinstretching on the ice & in these poses that fans sexualize them in, etc etc. I wanna point out that like it's not just Kierra doing this, its a whole sphere of hockey romance booktok, but she is a pretty prominent figure in this story.

Anyway all this hornyposting about the seattle krakens gets the attention of the kraken's actual social media account, so they start playing into it too. Posting thirst traps of the players and stuff. So The Krakens were benefiting from the attention from Booktok, but at the same time, it feels pretty ridiculous to claim that a popular team in a well-loved longstanding sport was, like, "discovered" or made relevant by booktokers.

Kierra Lewis actually gets invited to a Krakens game, like she gets flown out, she gets like a Kraken's jersey that says "booktok" on the back etc etc. & she's posting tiktoks from the game. & i'm gonna editorialize more than i previously have to give more of my personal opinion here, but this is the part that I think is particularly just, inappropriate and in bad taste. b/c she's like filming the players on the ice while they do their stretches and making sexual comments, like shouting "crack my back" to them while they're on the ice, like it's very much the same thing she's doing on tiktok but online is one thing, that's at least worthy of a conversation of like what privacy really is online, but it's another thing to be making comments like that to their face while at a person's place of work.

After all this, the wife of Alex Wennberg, Felicia Weeren, makes a post on social media basically asking people to ease up on all the suggestive comments about her husband online, not just for her sake but b/c it makes her husband uncomfortable, too. She's basically asking for people to be more mindful of how they post, and im paraphrasing in her sentiment that people would view this behavior targeted towards her husband and the other hockey players and inappropriate if women were the recipients of the sexual comments.. It's been impacting their lives because their online presence now is basically just swarmed with people making suggestive comments, people in their lives irl are commenting on it & making jokes about it, etc etc.

(& i personally don't love when people make the "if the genders were reversed" arguments b/c that tends to lead to false equivalency & also b/c people broadly don't take harassment of women seriously, but tbh she has a point. While people don't take harassment of women seriously, i think broadly left-leaning people at least understand the shape of like, what a catcall is and why its bad. & part of the reason this went uncommented on for so long is part of the patriarchal stereotype that men always want sex which is used to dismiss male victims)

She was pretty measured about the whole thing all things considered, especially b/c she said she's all for female empowerment and sexual expression & she doesn't know if there is a simple answer to this stuff, but there has been boundary crossing with how extreme and vocal its getting & especially b/c its affecting her husband at his work.

In her post, some of the examples she included as inappropriate comments included posts made by Kierra. She didn't single out Kierra directly, but she did use her posting as representative of a larger trend in the hockey romance booktok fandom.

The post from Felicia was taken really poorly by booktok and people started harassing her and her family including their kid, and saying she was being dramatic, saying she wants to be the center of attention, fabricating rumors about her and Alex wennberg that they were having "marriage trouble" etc etc. This includes Kierra lewis getting pretty upset and taking the post as though she's being singled out personally. Mostly doubling down, deflecting, saying it's all just a joke.

And perhaps it does suck to be treated as representative of an entire group of people, and being the most prominent face of something, she would inevitably get the brunt of backlash. But also she was the one invited to the game and was making all those comments like shouting at the players and stuff, so I do think she has to take a larger ownership over her behavior than random people posting online.

During this time she also finds out the Kraken's social media unfollowed her, so she's also expressing resentment that the Krakens were playing into the thirst trap stuff but suddenly have turned against her.

And yes, it was all just probably meant to be in good fun, but from the wider internet outside of booktok, it just seemed pretty inconsiderate and crappy to double down after people expressed that they were uncomfortable with what is basically sexual harassment. Yes, the Kraken social media was feeding into the hype, but the social media account is not representative of the players and their attitudes, and it was clear that the players stopped being comfortable with what was going on. Tbh there was quite a bit of victim blamey rhetoric. Consent can be revoked at any time. (& i have seen some arguments that b/c its sexual harassment (& in the workplace!) and not just like, an encounter in the bedroom, it wouldn't even have been possible for Alex Wennberg to consent in the first place b/c you can't consent to harrassment. It was just harrassment the whole time.)

Anyway, the harassment toward Felicia got so bad that Alex Wennberg had to come out and also make a statement in support of his wife

But the reason that post is making fun of booktokers thinking they made hockey relevant was b/c that was a pretty funny and common argument from Kierra and other booktokers who were not backing down on their position that they did nothing wrong. They kept being like "well we made the Kraken's relevant", "we brought all this attention to hockey", "the Krakens would be nothing without booktok." it was all very bizarre.

[fuumiku]

hiiiii you don't need to reply to this i just wanted to say thank you for the kimbliza :)c its always refreshing to see riza rarepairs and i think your brain is huge for liking kimblee/riza ... i rarely see people being interested in it and i think thats a shame when they only have one interaction in the entire series BUT it is kimblee calling riza out on her bullshit while also calling her ojouchan/little lady like cmon... just that leaves possibility for such an interesting dynamic.... and im personally obsessed with the valentines day art bc this meme instantly came to my mind when i saw it LMAO anyway!! thanks again for sharing your kimbliza i hope to get to see more of your art/thoughts of them!!! have a nice day!!

Omg thank you so much! :D I don’t usually answer asks like these out of self-consciousness but the meme is too accurate to keep to myself and you are sooo right! I loved your tags as well lol they gave me a good chuckle.

I can’t find the post again, but I once read a post that went like "the reason that you’re both touch-starved and touch-averse is that you’ve spent so long without human touch that you interpret every contact as a threat" and I really do think that fits them both. Hehe might as well put a song I love here that fits them and this theme really well: Touch by July Talk

If you want more of my thoughts, @fumifooms is the blog to look at! I’ll link my kimbliza tag on there here. I recently did a sort of masterpost of kimbliza crumbs in canon because I am starved. I’ll also shout out @tombraxas because they churn out awesome kimbliza posts and fanfictions regularly! I owe it to them for having radicalized me as a kimbliza shipper lol

Kimblee literally meaningfully impacted Riza’s character fundamentally so hard like damn!! For a rarepair that is a massive win. Idk the interaction they had feels so special. I do think people tend to forget that Kimblee doesn’t say the things he does out of malice, ouugh he’s so interesting!! I think Kimblee and Riza have soo many parallels actually. Blunt and strong convictions vs quiet, reserved and a follower. Both ready to kill their superior/commanding officer if the situation demands it. His iconic “don’t avert your eyes from the dead” speech was originally meant for her not Roy and no one can take any of this away from me. I’m like Denji eating the cake with my hands lolol. The flavor kimbliza has is simply unmatched. Riza is my special wet cat little war criminal princess (Wet cat and war criminal have the same first letters, if not equivalent then explain 🤨 /j)

I do plan on making more kimbliza art yes! I actually have a few actual Valentine’s day themed ones in the works lol. I’m rather slow and busy though… ;w; Also fics! I’ve already made two short ficlets, see them on my ao3! I’ve been hyperfixating on them for like 2 months now with no sign of stopping… I have so many wips. My kimbliza spotify playlist is my longest playlist ever 😭 I scoured both ao3 and ff.net and read everything about them I could find. I may be obsessed.

[istherewifiinhell]

LETS FUUUUUCKIIINGGGGGG GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BAT TURTLES

Here yee here yee! Come one come all! New and long time fans, young (ish) and old. These are so god damn. PREMIUM. Grade A. Turtlefied Certified. Ninja Turtles. Who are Mutant Teens.

Long have we wondered. Must a turtles movie overly explain the concept and set up of the turtles. Or else be a sequel that could confusing or lower quality. Must there sadness about fathers, conflict between brothers and general. Condensed movie run time character arc things. Well. The answer is here. And its this. Who know who the fucking turtles are. And Batman too. So lets just get to do some fucking Movie Ass Movie shit.

(And okay side note I only know animated dc im not like. All up on it but. Yeah. Its batman. Hes over there).

There is a plot a foot! A foot plot! even. Turtle villain and bat villian team up that leads the guys to gotham! And due to it being. Ninja robberies. Misunderstandings abound. But then the team up of the. Two teams. And conflicts arise there. Until they work it out for the greater threats, and thematic culmination in your final action set piece. Delightful. Tasty. So so workable.

Anyway. HELLO ANIMATION. These turtles are so. Wonderous and goofy looking. We have distinct shapes and colouration going on, which is the hotness for modern designs. They have the all white eyes look which is classic and cool. Theyre a bit toned down in shape and snoot having but its a vibe, it looks great in motion.

The action is sick as shit. and a little bloody! your not in nicktoons anymore! hey some turtles arent for little kids indeed. people can be killed! But its not like. Aggressively so. Just enough to feel it. But also theyre doing great comedy animation too. all rounder.

So whats the real meat of it? Well. WOULDNT IT BE SICK IF THE TURTLES WERE IN GOTHAM? And yes. Yes it is. Due to the crossover nature and large cast. We dont really need large changes and arcs. Isnt it enough to see how characters would bounce off situations and others...

Hows our comic lover goof ball, with slight powers of 4th wall poking, enjoy the rogue gallery. What happens when our sciencey tech guy puts his mind to finding a secretive vigilante. What do our serious leaders in blue make of each other. What if an EXTREMELY self aware 16 year old with an attitude read ur entire gimmick from a mile away. What happens when 4 sewer raised teens end up in a rich dude MANOR with a whole ass bulter...

Like basically. All of them are allowed to be their cool funky selves without needing to push it into something thats gonna be the crux of a joke or problem. We get that Leo has the weight of his responisblity as leader stuff, but his still a teen, without him having to tear into anyone. Donnie's doing his tech stuff that goes over other ppls heads without anyone saying he "relies on it too much" or being pressured into fixing everything for everyone. Mikey is techincally, a joke in that. hes saying funny things, hes goofing. But no one needs to slip into anything down right cruel about it, nor does it make him a fuck up.

And Raph... my RAPHIE.... Giving the fucking. Crown of Raph understanders to these fine folks! Yes he's implusive! Yes he's the bruiser. Yes he finds his little brothers jokes annoying! (this is half the point of a little siblings joke. trust me). But also he loves his fucking family. He's nice to kids! And he doesn't have time for anyones elses dramatic broody horseshit. THATS HIS THING??

Delicious. Finally some good fucking food. And eh. Pish posh I really dont know enough about the other bat characters but know its Babs, who is also a purple smartie, and she was fun! Shes fun to see react back at the turtles. And The smallest angriest robin. Who yeah really idk him. BUT DELIGHTFUL. To force into contact with the turtles. This is a mandatory playdate you WILL be dragged into shenangans. Enjoy ur new older bro/cousin figures. They came free with ur fucking crossover.

Shout the fucks out. Watch this movie. They gave the turtle van a little angry mouth again. Fuck Yeah.

[maurenislife]

Theres only so much self hate i can acquire

Or guilt like im still processing alot of other shit that will have to get added 2 the queue

Also idc that he found this page or even if he go share it or laugh or screenshot or whatever he may do cause honestly thats my fault for ever thinking like i was so comfortable im like omg somebody trying to get me nahh its a tactic and love make u see beyond game but a man game is on regardless its all a game

Everybody says weird shit that u truly feel like u just like the idea of me

Projection

You just want me for my energy and space

Projection

Everything projectile cause in stats in statistics That could b labeled as false

If my sugar daddy said u are using me etc. he would be 100% correct cause if we check stats along with situation it adds up completely

When a man my age starts playing that game

Subconsciously but a game

I just have to sit and ponder

Cause only thing they used was time and maybe they had to feel pathetic for loving but love is quite pathetic cause it DOESNT exist among relationships with somebody who you are not kin too,

Cheat steal use and the good times make up for all the bullshit thats a relationship

Most relationships pple lie and cry alot

Alot of fights too alot of disagreements all cause some person or both are lonely

Rather have a bunch of bullshit cause maybe this gets better or good eventually

The only love that truly exists between mothers and grandmothers thats so unconditional they dnt wanna argue n fight just cause maybe at the end of the road there will b a worthy exchange for pain

They love n argue cause they want the best for you there is no reward in the love they show they show it cause dammit they love you and ive always shown that kind of love

Well i thought i have

Probably didnt but i tried

Cause if its not the correct puzzle piece or information that connects to the right button or switch bitch u otw out

And soon this will be laughing material for most, i think what alotta people dont realize is my life has been laughing matieral at all stages not just this one so

It could b worse i mean who wants to look thru a bunch of manic and emotionally charged posts 4 fun?

Even the ones I write with a clear brain

It could be source of entertainment

But i write this post all to say if he still watching im still using this page whether its the guise of a sudden audience member or if im still shouting into a void

Pple know i dont care

They say they dont care but I truly dont care, i came up alone ive been in violent situations alone nobody came 2 help so if a nigga wanna take entertainment out a chunk of my life im glad i could be a source of happiness and healing in reading thru everything that gets 2 me

Ive had niggas say they gone come kill me

Gun to my face

Stomps on my head

Ive been raped multiple times from a young age

My mom dgaf bout me i mean what more could u possibly do to me for me to feel slighted im chronically slighted

Paper cut is how most shit feel to me now

There’s nothing fun in being afraid of nothing, always said u tryna to b hard

Idk what way 2 be soft with a endearment cycle like mine. Everything comes out harsh cause how do u say things with a softness ?

How do u live softly? If u not using softness as a cover as a straight up lie cause u know deep down its not pink jeeps and white fur carpets face masks and femininity is a JOKE!

I got extremely tired of covering up who i was cause it got to be a second job

If not being me was the first one

If i gotta b scapegoat for being authentic this merely a example

Dont be honest, every girl has told me that and have been 1000% correct

Nobody ready to truly break 4th wall and be candid be deeper than words beyond thought and to disect where the orgins lye

I had a hole in my underwear lmao right

I didnt care cause like im in bed who gaf

But he did n i tried to explain why i didnt care,

Nuance

LAYER 1

have these underwear since middle school cause my mom bought them 4 me at a time where she still gaf i still got em I still wear em

LAYER 2

Im behind closed doors nobody sees me but me or you idc

LAYER 3

Holes are holes and underwear is under clothes so its not seen im not seen

On top of that im embarrassed like wtf

Cause then i think bout them posts that get seared into brains of many like hygiene politics

And i have good hygiene so i didnt gaf

Idk just know imma still post on here

From my pov my raw pov no matter if my page get found or not we out chere 😇🤷���‍♂️🕳️

[mosviqu]

aaaa okayyy amazing🥳🥳 MY THOUGHTS ARE A MESS DUDE i feel like a pretty vital information about me is that i'm a huge engene if that wasn't clear before now it is lmao ITS THEIR BEST ALBUM OUTTHERE AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY TO SEE THEM BE SO PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS ALBUM!!! ALL OF THE SONGS SLAPPED SO HARD!! ALL ENHYPEN INTROS EAT AND FATE JUST DID THE SAME THING!! enhypen intros my beloveds🤭FOR BITE ME WE HAVE THE SAME EXACT THOUGHTS THEY WENT OFF SO HARD WITH IT!! THE VAMPIRE VIBES ARE SO THEREEE!!! and like nikis and sunghoons lower tone (?) parts just wahhhhh i love the song!! SACRIFICE IS JUST THAT SONG!!!! THEY WENT OFF SO HARD WITH IT ITS JUST SUCH A SCRUMPTIOUS SONG!!!! AND UR REVIEW OF IT IS JUST SJDHFJJF SO TRUE THEY ATE!!! CHACONNE JUST MAKES UR WALKS FEEL LIKE A POWER WALK ISTG I WAS LISTENING TONIT WHILE WAKING HOME AND I JUST FELT THE POWER LMAO BUT MY GOD THAT SONG THE VICALS THE EVERYTHING ONE OF MY FAVES ACTUALLY!!!! BILLS THEY WERENT ERONG WHEN THEY SAID THIS IS GOING TO BE AN AMAZING SONG AND WE SHOULD BE THE MOST EXCITED FOR THIS ONE!!!! ACTUALLY MY FAV SONG FROM THEM ALONG SIDE WITH SHOUT OUT!!!! I JUST KEEPNON REPLAYING IT IST SO ADDICTINGGGG!!! KARMA!!! KARMA IS ALSO JUST THAT SONG!!! AND SO TRUE ITS SO ATTENTION PLEASE VIBES!!!! SIBLINGS FORREAL!!! LOVE IT SO MUCH BUT I WISH THEY WOULD HAVE LET THEM CUSS IT WOULD HIT SO MUCH HARDER!!! and the way u said disney channel camp rock vibes could never explain this song better if somebody tried to my god!!! i have zero final thoughts other than i won't be listening to anything else for a while other than this album lmao (i'm sorry for the long review of it lmao i'm just stil ahhdhdjf about it)

I FEEL HONORED ACTUALLY LMAO WE ARE BESTIES IN MY MIND AS WELL🤭

he is a cat but the strawberry>>>>> i hope he stays as a strawberry!! same very same i hope they can save the newer boy groups reputation by putting out the best album!!

I AM WITH U ON THAT ONE LOVENJOYER FIRST AND MOST IMPORTANTLY!!! the amount of people i see shocked that either the lead singer from lovejoy is a minecraft youtuber and vice versa is so hilarious to me😭 I WILL BET A LOT OF MONEY OF IT BEING YOUR NEW BOYFRIEND and he is so right for that as ur brother should!! wilbur's parody songs>>>

i genuinely hope we see this hair style more but it was so funny that i saw those pics and idk how long after i just see him with a wet shirt sleeves tucked up on stage and i just went goddamn the duality of this guy!!! I SAW I SAWWW tbh it made me think of u cuz i saw that u are in ur seventeen era and i was like bet bar saw this and is very happy about thishdhhfnf

and thank u i appreciate that😭 i will change it one day for something better hopefully cuz i'm just dissatisfied with it🥸 (oh god it really shows how much i watch british people godddamnn they do be rotting our brains😟 mum is the superior way of spelling it ngl) (liebestraum anon💕)

you might just be the biggest engene ive ever met im cackling AHAHA thank you for the review i enjoyed it. i am so glad that they are passionate about the album !!!! intros eat indeed but i never listen to them bc it just sounds like slam poetry after a while im so sorry AAJKDFA. did u see engenes boycotting the choreo- i cant. if they remove the female dancers its not gonna hit as hard >:((( someone on tiktok said chaconne has teeth by 5sos vibes and....i kinda see it but i also kind of don't hm. bills is one of the best songs of the album i wholeheartedly agree >>>> KARMA WOULD HIT HARDER IF THEY COULD CUSS ISTG !! its a good good song but it still screams camp rock vibes jUST A LITTLE to me i am so sorry. i enjoy listening to it a lot though AHAHA over-all a very good album i agree with you on so many levels

i REALLY hope zb1 debut with a fresh concept ngl because if they debut with another generic 4th gen noise im gonna lose it. bring back boys being cute and happy in their debut songs please we NEED it. save kpop zb1 im manifesting </3

NO BECAUSE I GET IT. like u tell me someone finds a lovejoy song randomly and then they find out the lead singer is a mc streamer. i'd be baffled too. thankfully i found him as a streamer first and then the band bc i think that would throw it off for me AHAHA ((the wilbur brainrot used to be so big and i didnt even watch his streams i-) AND YOURE RIGHT IT WAS THAT SONG AHAHAHAHA

the duALITY. like i am so ashamed to say that the clip of junkyu pouting water on him was on loop for like 2 minutes before i realized. a bitch was masmerized. he's hot and he knows it :( AWWWH thats so cute of you i am ALWAYS in my svt era i love them sm and the clip made me so happy but also he was so cute i cant. treasure super cover when ??? i know yall are carats so give it to us

mum is the superior spelling thanku. i am NOT calling my mum mOm like thats so ugly. also sometimes my inner english voice gets a british accent and im like O.O okay where did that come from. looking forward to seeing your new theme i bet it will slap

[imaginethathaikyuu]

tis the damn season

atsumu miya x fem reader 

the first fic in a series i like to call “Me Writing Whatever The Hell I Want” (a working title) hope u like it or dont idk im not ur boss!!!!!!!!!!

synopsis: Running away was easy when you were chasing hazy dreams of a big city that was destined to be yours, when your rear-view mirror showed nothing but your hole in the wall hometown. But now it’s all waiting tables and failing auditions. You were still running, but somehow, these winding roads always lead you back to Miya Atsumu - a man you’ve loved and left, until you return home for the holidays. 

tags: friends to lovers, exes to lovers, angst without a happy ending, established pre-relationship, friends with benefits, reader lives in Undisclosed Big City lmao who has celebrity dreams, atsumu is ur good ole southern boy (sort of), canon divergent, not edited, light nsfw, beginnings of sex but isn’t very detailed 

word count: 4220

song inspo  (tis the damn season by taylor swift)

-

i won’t ask you to wait if you don’t ask me to stay… 

. . . 

The soundtrack of this early morning replayed in your head as you made a hazy drive to the neighborhood’s hardware store, cutting left onto the correct street and forcing the car’s back tire over the curb you couldn’t miss. 

The replay of events looping in your mind? A whirring, then a splashing, then your father’s booming voice shouting curse words at anyone who could hear them. Your name was laced in there somewhere with demands for you to get to the kitchen, and you couldn’t tumble down the stairs fast enough to see what in the hell was going on. 

It was your first day home for the holidays, and already it was a catastrophe. 

Somehow your dad had busted a pipe underneath the kitchen sink and a strong stream of water was spraying halfway across the room because of it - your feet landed in a shallow pool when you finally reached the first floor. You didn’t have time to think of any questions before the man at fault, who was on his knees with his head hidden under the sink relentlessly trying to turn the water off, sent you out the door with more shouts, telling you to go to Miya’s Hardware and buy… something. 

“A connector?” You were talking to yourself, thinking out loud as you finally parked, but it didn’t help you remember. All you could do was walk inside the store and hope someone knew what you needed. 

It’d been years since you had been in this shop, but it looked just the same as when you were following your dad through its isles. You didn’t even bother browsing now, though - you went straight to the back of the store to the counter, expecting to see a familiar, perhaps older, face eager to help you. 

That isn’t what you found. 

“Well, hey stranger.” 

That voice rang in your ears like you’d just heard it through a megaphone pointed directly at you. Something about it was so warm, but it left you with a shiver down your spine and goosebump ridden skin. You could feel the hair on the back of your neck standing up, and you hadn’t even turned in the direction the words came from. 

But you didn’t have to look in order to know just who it was. “Atsumu.” 

“What in the hell are you doing back in town?” His voice rang with excited confusion; it carried the same inflection as anyone who’s happy to see you. Like nearly forgotten family members at a reunion before it all goes to hell, or the way the tone of your father’s voice changes when you tell him you’re doing well and mean it. People don’t speak that way often. 

He pulled you in for a hug and you gladly reciprocated, already forgetting that you were supposed to be in a hurry. 

“Home for the holidays. How have you been?”

“I’ve been alright,” he replied. “I’ve missed you.” 

His voice felt more like home than your four bedroom walls did, the charming drawl and depth in his words immediately reeling you in. It was familiar. You had spent a long time trying to forget about that familiarity; too long learning how to straighten out your words and lose any hint of the small town you came from. But Atsumu - he sounded like the epitome of this place. 

He didn’t give you time to reply, for one reason or another; instead he decided to push you back by your shoulders and get a good look at you. Up and down and up again, likely noticing every change you had made to your appearance in your time away. 

“Are you still wearing your pajamas, or is this a new… trend?” 

You looked down at yourself, “Shit,” and closed your jacket tight over the old graphic t-shirt you wore, but nothing could cover your pink polka-dotted pants. And you’d have been hit in the face with embarrassment if the image of your dad and the broken sink and a flooded kitchen didn’t smack you first. “Shit, no, um… I need something to fix a broken sink. Are you… do you work here now?” 

“I do - and you’re gonna need to be more specific.” 

“I don’t know, Atsumu,” you laughed, slowly realizing the bizarreness of what you were about to tell him. “I woke up to my dad shouting and water shooting out from under the sink, literally flooding the kitchen. He told me to get a part for the pipe… a connector, or a couple, or something - I don’t know.” 

“...A coupler?” 

“Yes!” 

“...He didn’t happen to tell you what size to get, did he?” 

The look on your face must have been a good enough answer for him, because he took off into a random aisle and left you wondering just how many sizes of couplers there could be. 

“This one will probably do the job,” he said as his path rounded the counter. “If it doesn’t, then, I can ignore the return policy for you. Just this once, though.” 

“Thanks, ‘Tsumu.” You made your payment and he slid your product over the counter as his elbows landed on it, leaning down to make himself comfortable. Like he thought he’d be there awhile. 

“How long are you gonna be in town?” 

“Two weeks. Why do you ask?” You knew why - you just wanted to hear him say it. 

“We should catch up.” 

He was grinning and shrugging and fidgeting with his fingers, just like he always did, and you would never turn down any offer he made you. 

“We should. I’ve got to get home, but are you free tonight?” 

“We close at six,” he said. “I’ll pick you up at seven.” 

“I’ll be looking forward to it,” you said, meaning every word. You wondered if he knew that. 

“So will I,” he replied, and then you made your way out before you convinced yourself to stay. 

It’d been three years since you last spoke to Atsumu. In that time, you had done a lot that felt like nothing, living in a different city that felt worlds bigger than this town - that city was a place you had once convinced yourself was all yours. You had pulled off running away effortlessly. 

But it didn’t matter how much time goes by between your meetings with Atsumu. There was something there that you could never shake, the hold you had on each other was anchor tight. Ten years could pass and you would speak to each other like it had only been one day. You’d have world ending fights and one of you would always come crawling back, letting the other win as long as it meant things would go back to normal. 

You couldn’t describe it. You never tried, you didn’t need to. The unspoken acts between the two of you didn’t need to be explained. It was something akin to a best friend with all the benefits included and most of the strings attached - confusing and nerve wracking but still so comforting. 

Atsumu was the closest thing to home you had in this town, and somehow every road always leads back to him. With a few detours on your part, of course, because you just couldn’t stay away too long. Even moving across the country didn’t change that - not like you thought it would. 

You just barely missed the turn into your driveway, being so distracted by your thoughts. So much was rushing back, so much that shouldn��t be - it isn’t a big deal, it’s just Atsumu, but it felt grand, like this was some massive reunion. 

But it wasn’t. You were only here to celebrate Christmas with your family. You weren’t even planning on seeing Atsumu, let alone meeting up with him or rekindling any kind of flame that was once there. 

And it was such a rush that you couldn’t even question why he was working at his father’s store - or why he was even in this town at all. What happened to the dreams he was chasing? 

For what felt like the first time in your life, you had questions for him. But you’d have to wait all day to ask them. 

. . .

You were thankful to come home to a dry floor and a calmer father - he finally figured out how to turn the water off and decided to fix the pipe later. You knew he’d inevitably be paying someone more qualified to repair it, but your mind had no space for that problem. 

You were still trying to figure out how you’d meander the night with Atsumu by the time he was picking you up, and when the two of you arrived at his home you still hadn’t found your answer. 

Easing into this would be best, and once alcohol was introduced to the equation it would turn into a slippery slope. 

Nothing was hard with Atsumu. You knew that - that’s why you couldn’t figure out why you were having such a hard time talking to him. 

A lot had changed. Not between the two of you, not exactly. You were right back where you were three years ago: on his couch, sitting too close to him, laughing at something he had said that was only funny because he said it. 

But your lives had changed. Your worlds had changed. His mind had very obviously changed, and because of it all, you couldn’t keep pretending that the two of you were teenagers again. 

You had to bite the bullet and ask the question that was on your mind, completely knowing that he could throw a hard hitting question back at you.

It came out more effortlessly and lighthearted than you expected. “So… what happened to playing volleyball?”

Atsumu scoffed. “You still remember that pipe dream? Nothing happened, it was just childish.” 

You didn’t like his answer, so you pressed him. You worked up the courage to start this conversation, so you were going to get to the bottom of things. “You said you wanted to catch up - I know you, Atsumu. You get what you want and you wanted to play volleyball. You were going to be a pro, you were good.” 

“I know you know me,” he said, and the smirk on his lips didn’t go unnoticed by you. “I wanted to get drunk and chat, not start up a fucking therapy session.” 

You sat patient and waiting, eyes on him, refusing to go without the answer to your question. You were teasing, really, eyeing him up and grinning as you watched him struggle. The problem was: you didn’t expect the answer you’d get. 

“I - I had the chance.” There was a scratch in his throat that wasn’t caused by the whiskey he’d just swallowed. “I was being scouted and playing my ass off and there were talks of being on an Olympic team one day, but… shit happens, and that’s it.” 

“What shit, Atsumu? You didn’t just give up, did you? Were you scared or something?” 

You didn’t realize how close you were to him until his hand came down to rest on your knee, and both of you focused on that touch as his next thoughts became words. “Dad got sick. And ‘Samu had just opened the restaurant, and… there were bills to pay and the store to run. Even though I wasn’t his preference, Dad had no choice and left the legacy of Miya’s Hardware to me, so - that’s where I am.” 

“Oh. I… I had no idea - I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s fine. You were already long gone by then - don’t say sorry.” 

“I’m sorry,” you said, and you hugged him without thinking, but he hugged you back all the same. “I’m sorry, ‘Tsumu.” 

“It’s okay,” he told you, but you didn’t feel okay. You were sure he didn’t, either. “It’s not your fault.” 

You pulled away from him just enough to look at his face, and you hadn’t noticed the distance in his eyes until just then. As you looked at him, you realized it was only familiar to now. It wasn’t there years ago, when you got to look into those eyes every day. 

“I should’ve been there for you.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, but his words were dangling on an edge. He didn’t quite mean them. “You were off in your own dream. I got through it.” 

You only nodded. You weren’t sure what else to say after that. 

As Atsumu sat back against the couch, he brought you with him, tucking you under his arm against his chest. His lips on your forehead made you close your eyes and for a second, it was like you were both nineteen again. You could’ve been, if time would only slow down or freeze or go back - what wouldn’t you give for that? 

“I’m done talking about me,” he mumbled. “I wanna hear about your life now.” 

You laughed, but quiet, “My life’s been fine.”

“Only fine?” 

“You don’t see me on the big screen, do you?” 

He laughed this time. “Not yet. One day, though. Have you gotten used to the city yet?” 

“Oh… I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it, but… it does feel like home now. It’s so different from living here.” 

“I bet.” 

“I try not to romanticize it, but - I don’t know. It feels good, even if it’s not what I thought it’d be. The lights are pretty bright. Blinding compared to here.” 

His response was a nod, and that was it. If he had any questions or comments, he held them back. 

A break in the silence came soon, though. “You know,” he said, quiet, with a small laugh that was humorless, “I’m not as good at getting what I want as you think I am.” 

“That’s not true,” you replied, and you were setting up an argument you weren’t ready to make. “You got me.” 

“Did I?” 

“What do you mean?” 

Silence lingered, and after too long you sat up and looked at him, and that got him to talk. 

“Nothing,” he insisted. He pulled you closer with two fingers holding your chin, and you didn’t resist. “Nothing, baby. Let’s just… just be quiet for a while.” 

There wasn’t time for you to say anything else. His lips were on yours the moment he got his last word out. And even though you expected him to kiss you, it still made you gasp. 

You couldn’t describe how much you missed kissing someone you wanted to, and Astumu’s kiss was like finding home. His lips were like candy, sweeter than sugar; his bite was a freezing shock that always pulled a giggle and a whisper of his name out of you. He knew how to kiss you, slow and deep with a hand on your jaw to keep you there, never leaving you wanting more because he gave everything you could ever need. 

It didn’t take long for his kisses to trail down your neck, or for his shirt to come off, or for your back to land on the couch. You had already reached euphoria just seeing him hovering over you, eyes soft and hair askew; you didn’t need anything but this. You’d never want anything but this. 

You did what you always did - trailed your hand down his torso, over his golden skin, stopping just after every freckle or scar or mark. This time, you were looking for something new. You didn’t find anything. You didn’t stop until your hand landed on his waist, and there, you squeezed - 

“Stop, you little shit,” and he laughed, right along with you. A real and genuine laugh - you hadn’t heard that song in a long time. “Why do you always do that?” 

Finally he moved down to press his chest against yours, his hips locking in place between your legs. A perfect combination. 

“Why do you always give me the chance?” You were still laughing, not able to get over the cute sight. Atsumu was always so ticklish there, right on his waist, and when you made that discovery you swore you’d never forget it. And he sure as hell wished you would have. “You’re so cute. I’ve missed that smile.” 

“I’ve missed you,” he replied. Somehow you just knew that he meant it. 

“Don’t. I’m here.” 

“You’re here,” he repeated. Like he was reassuring himself. 

You took the initiative to unbutton your shirt yourself, so that there was no way for him to think that you wanted this to stop there. It couldn’t, not when you had him this close. And his eyes followed the popping buttons like stalking prey. 

“And you’re still the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Fucking hell.” 

You cringed - you couldn’t help the feeling in your gut when he gave you those sweet words. You knew he meant them in some way; you knew Atsumu wouldn’t lie to you. He’s never told you anything just for the sake of it. But how many times, in the last three years, had someone done just that? Told you just what you wanted to hear so they could get inside you? It was vile the first time. The second, it made you ache. But now, you’re used to it. Nobody means what they say. You’re used to it. 

And Atsumu could snatch up any girl he wanted. A girl who’s used to blinding lights and expensive wine and lying - or a girl who would stay with him, who wouldn’t push his buttons, who would be effortless in her charm and wit and beauty. 

You couldn’t put yourself in either category. 

“You haven’t seen many, then.” 

“Why would I even need to when I’ve got you? You’re a fucking dream. All I ever think about.” 

You shook your head, not even noticing you were doing it. Atsumu wouldn’t have it. 

“Don’t do that,” he said. “Not when you know what you do to me. You’ve got my heart beating out of my chest, for fuck’s sake - it has been since you walked into the store.” 

You never knew him to be so open with his feelings, or maybe you had just gotten used to being lied to. You weren’t sure and you didn’t care - all you could think about was kissing him, so you pulled him in, and you were sure he would devour you. You’d have no problem with that. 

It was desperate when you said, “I need you.”

And reassuring when he replied, “I’m right here.” 

He wasn’t close enough. You didn’t think he ever could be. And it was right then, when you were swimming in desperation, that you realized you shouldn’t have been doing this. It would only make leaving even harder. Doing it the first time was hell, letting him watch you leave and be okay with it. You hated yourself for wishing he wasn’t. And you were drowning. 

You hated yourself for leaving. 

You hated yourself more for coming back. 

And you didn’t want to be there, all of a sudden, despite the ache in between your thighs and the addicting warmth he had you trapped in. You didn’t want to be there and you didn’t want to leave, either - you only wanted something easy, but you’d never have it. Not here, and not in the city, and not with Atsumu. 

You felt him freeze, felt things shift. You hadn’t even noticed the way your energy had completely dropped. 

“Something wrong?” He moved up to hold your face. He noticed the tears in your eyes before you did. 

It was hard to look at him but you held his gaze, and his touch hurt more than it healed but you yearned for it. The concern on his face was genuine, the gentle strokes of his thumb on your cheek weren’t forced, and it all was making your stomach turn. 

He cared for you - obviously he did - but not enough to ask you to stay. Not enough to find trouble in letting you leave him. So maybe you shouldn’t have a problem with it, either. 

“No,” you said through a sore throat and a locked jaw. “Sorry, just…” 

“We don’t have to do this,” he told you. “We can just talk - I want to talk. If it’s too much -” 

“It’s okay,” you said. You tried to mean it as much as, “I miss you, Atsumu. I want you - touch me, I miss you.” 

“I know,” and he was wiping the tears off of your cheeks as he kissed your lips, “I’ll take care of you, baby, just let me. Stop thinking so much. Let me take care of you like I always do, yeah? You want me to help you feel good?” 

You always had a problem with that - thinking too much. He never hesitated to call you out on it. You nodded your head, strong and fast, like you were trying to knock the thoughts right out of it. 

“Please, ‘Tsumu.” You were crying for him, pulling him closer. “Need you. Make it better, please.” 

“I’d do anything,” he said. “You gotta quit crying, baby. You’re acting like our first time again.” 

You laughed at that, wiping your own tears and knocking his hands away. “God, that was so embarrassing.” 

“It was cute.” 

“It wasn’t.” 

“It was kinda hot, too.” 

“Atsumu!” 

It was his deep grin that made you relax again, and so did another blissful kiss that took your breath in a way that you enjoyed. 

“You can cry, baby,” he said, popping buttons on both of your pants, “as long as it’s because of how good I’m making you feel. That’s what you need, pretty girl. Let me show you how much I’ve been missing you - get these pants off, baby, let me see you.” 

He didn’t give you the chance to cry any more, at least not in an emotional sense. Your mind was stripped with your body, filled with nothing but him, no space between the two of you left for insecurities or questions. 

It wasn’t until he coaxed you into his bedroom that those things had the chance to creep back. 

Atsumu was out cold, cuddled into your chest and holding on tight to your waist, after smothering you in soft kisses and sweet sleepy words. You were comfortable there, warm and safe and content, but the pit in your stomach only grew. You watched him sleep, his mouth slightly open and eyes softly closed, and you wanted to reach down and kiss him but you resisted. 

It was late and you should be asleep but you couldn’t rest. You couldn’t stop loathing yourself long enough to close your eyes, and the more you thought, the harder it got to breathe. Your throat was sore again. Your eyes were watering again. And every word you wanted to say to Atsumu was tumbling out of your mouth and falling onto sleeping ears. 

“Why didn’t you ask me to stay?”

He didn’t stir. It was still rumbling breaths and the whir of the air conditioner filling the silence. 

“Everyone else did. But you. Why… You of all people should know I’m just as worthless there as I am here - I’ll never make it - I’ve changed everything and still…” 

You sucked a hard breath into your lungs to stop a wracking sob, just barely holding it in. 

“I just ended up here again. With you. I’m so alone without you but I can’t - fuck.”

It didn’t even matter what you were trying to say anymore, because you had no clue. You didn’t know why you couldn’t just stay with him regardless of his choice to let you go, but something in you made you run. Maybe it was worthless pride or a childish desire to be something more - you didn’t know. 

You didn’t belong in any industry you dreamed of working in. You weren’t born to be a star. You should know by now - should accept your failure and come back home for more than just one night. 

But you couldn’t. 

There was still a chance, wasn’t there? 

A chance to belong somewhere.

A chance to be led home.

A chance to make it. Would you die trying? 

You would leave in the morning. And you wouldn’t ask Atsumu to wait for you as he started getting ready for the day. And Atsumu wouldn’t ask you to ditch your own plotted destiny just to stay with him. 

But this would happen again. Every time you would swear it off and every time, you would travel roads that take you right back to this town, this bed, these arms. 

Running away would never get easier, but this is all it would ever be with him. He would never stop you leaving - and you would never ask him to.  

. . .

...so i’ll go back to LA

[bellamybellamyblake]

Six Years (Part 3)

Pairing:

Past/Eventual Bellamy Blake x Fem!Kane!Reader, Platonic!Octavia Blake

Summary:

Octavia knew who she was now, but you couldn’t figure out what the hell you’d become.

Warning: 

so much mf angst, themes of addiction and depression, self-destructive behavior and a tiny bit of comfort in there

Word Count:

2k (i got a little ~carried away~ lol)

A/N:

IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. i wasn’t happy with the og thing i had down so i literally just rewrote the whole thing in a few hours and it’s sm better than it would’ve been. me holding off posting this did wonders and i’m more confident in it too even tho i kinda think i suck at writing but also kinda don’t idk my self esteem varies wildly

Merry Christmas Eve Eve to those who celebrate ❤️

the gif (and all the other ones) are not mine and i take no credit for them

if you want to be tagged in any of my works, send me a message or an ask and i’ll add you :)

@shipshipshipau

The girl with aqua eyes - although now they were more of a spotted gray - had only seen one moment of weakness from you. It would be the last time Octavia had seen you, and you, her. 

“We’re surviving!” She had started shouting, as if she believed that set in a lower tone, her words would be construed as lies. “The human race is surviving! That’s what matters!”

“He wouldn’t be okay with this, and you know it!” Your voice broke involuntarily as it rose to match hers. You shook your head as you tried to desperately stop the ache in your chest as you brought her - probably dead - brother up. Tears clung to your eyelashes, waiting for you to blink so they had permission to fall. Your throat had been closed for a while now, and the rest was merely a weak cry. “If this is the price that we have to pay...maybe we shouldn’t be.”

You’d never know if it was the crack in your demeanor or your choice of words, but either way, her eyes softened when you spoke.

“Look at me.” You did as told and she gripped the back of your neck in one hand, pulling your forehead so close it almost came into contact with hers.

The air changed as Octavia came alive under the monster she wore for armor. Her mask coming off allowed you to let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding. You would begin to regret not smashing the helmet to bits while it was off and vulnerable.

“You have to stop listening to them,” She said. “It’ll tear you apart. It’s better they get to live to hate us than die slowly and love us-”

“They don’t deserve this either, O-”

“We bare it, so they don’t have to. You’re the one that told me that. You can’t back out on me, now. I can’t do this without you.”

For so long you were okay with her needing you to do the dirty work. Besides the first time - when you did it together - she’d give the sentence and you’d see it through. Every single time, it felt like it was killing you more than them, but that didn’t matter, did it? If you weren’t going to do it, who would?

It was the last thing Octavia had asked of you and you had no intention of letting her down.

Bellamy didn’t know what he would see when they finally dropped him down into the bunker, but it definitely wasn’t that. Surrounded by more death than he was prepared for, he couldn’t help himself to not move his gaze around the arena. The fences between him and the living reminded him of the cages the Mountain Men held him in. The walls were stained deep with crimson, leaving the dull concrete behind it unrecognizable. He looked to the blonde at his side, and they asked each other the same silent question:

What the hell happened down here?

His whiskey shaded orbs kept moving, albeit reluctantly. They stopped on Marcus Kane, who looked so much older than last time. His hair and beard were inches longer and grayer than the natural brown he used to have. He was so pale, it was unnerving - almost as if he was close to death. They connected eyes briefly and that’s when the younger saw the deadly weapon held to his neck by the hands of-

No.

Your back was facing him, but it didn’t matter how long it had been, he’d never miss you. The locks that adorned your head were longer too, almost to your waist. The natural shade was faded though, like you had aged twenty years instead of six. He watched your shoulders heave and your hands start to shake as Kane talked to you.

He couldn’t pull his eyes from the impure red that dyed your skin and clothes.

While you were distracted, he chose to act, protecting Marcus from his own flesh and blood. He didn’t miss the gears in your head turning as your gaze landed on him. He saw your eyes sink into a trance of recognition and a deep sort of longing overtook your senses. The melancholic need you had tried to numb for half a decade came back in full force and held no mercy.

You remembered how he always smelled of the forest after the sky wept. You remembered how sure but gentle his touch was on your skin. You remembered how his remarkably soft lips would feel when they pushed against yours as they begged for more at every turn. You remembered how it felt to be wrapped in his arms, listening to his heart thump as he assured you everything would be alright, even if he didn’t think it would be.

Was that gone forever, now, too?

Bellamy noticed something else, though; something he didn’t recognize. Something he’d never seen before.

Something that scared him.

It had been hours since and neither of you had bothered to find the other. Getting everyone out was a great distraction for him. Talking to his little sister, whose eyes seemed to hold the same thing yours did, was another.  She had explained to him and Clarke that Wonkru had deemed her Bloodreina and you, Ripa. So, no, nothing as special as death from above or the red queen or the commander of death, but death, nonetheless.

People have done well not to forget that.

When Clarke told him you still hadn’t come out and no one had seen you, however, he didn’t have a choice anymore.

The halls were those of nightmares, spirits lurking around every corner and it was cold and empty. He knew the lights were kept low to save power but it felt almost purposeful, like they were meant to scare you. To tell you not to act out or some kind of monster would jump from the shadows and make you pay.

But he didn’t know if it was you or his sister.

A chill slithered up his spine.

If someone told him this wasn’t real, he’d do anything he could to believe them. He wished that he was seconds away from being shaken awake by Raven or Monty, and they would tell him it was just another nightmare. He wished he was still on the Ring, praying ignorantly to anyone that would listen that his family on earth were still okay. 

Breaking him from his thoughts, a yellow lamplight caught his attention. At the end of the windowless corridor, it shone out of a slightly ajar door. Using every ounce of strength he possessed to not walk away, he pushed it open. It cried at the motion, diminishing any and all remnants of silence that swallowed the floor.

His eyes found you catching yourself from falling caused by a failed attempt at standing. A half empty bottle of whatever works in one hand, the other one holding you up against the bed frame. The high-pitched creak pulled your attention to the front of the room with a furrowed brow and he allowed himself to take in your appearance.

A wrinkled, cotton shirt sat on your chest and it was a different one than before; faded white and thin, yet cleaner than the other one which was colored with blood. Your hair was damp - the result of taking a shower - but lazily tied back in a half-assed effort to get it out of your face.

You stared at each other for a minute. A million things were hitting your slow-moving thoughts at once, too much for you to even try to comprehend. He finally took one step towards you, parting his lips to say something but no sound came out. He was stumped, hundreds of words flooded his mind but not a single one sounded good enough.

Nothing he could say would make what happened in the arena okay.

It was unbearably painful. There he was, finally right in front of you, and you had no idea what to talk about. No idea what to start with, end with, bring up, discuss, laugh about, cry about, scream about. Nothing was good enough to say to the man that kept you alive for such a long time, such a long time ago. 

Too long ago.

You inevitably broke the silence, though your words came out cracked and in a slur. A defensive and humorless scoff left your lips, an effort to cover up the discomfort. Or it was because you were too drunk to shut yourself up. “You gonna say somethin’?”

“I don’t know what to say.”

You didn’t know why, but you hoped he’d sound different. It was childish and irrational, but you hoped that you could say you both changed too much and he would have nothing to hold against you.

Because no matter how far away it seemed, sometimes you could still remember what it felt like to be that innocent seventeen-year-old that hadn’t lived yet; what it felt like to be that girl who still couldn’t stand her father. To be that girl who sprained her ankle within ten minutes of being on earth for the first time. To be that girl who hadn’t made a friend aside from Clarke and Wells in her whole life. That girl who had just kissed a boy for the first time.

The girl who was loved and not lost yet.

“Well, that makes two of us.”

Where the hell did she go?

That made the room spin, and you had to blink a few times to make it stop, taking a seat on the thin mattress. You took a drink, making the liquid slosh from the base to the neck of the bottle and back again. When it settled, you rested your head between your shoulders as you heard him say your name. It bounced off the walls in the room, hitting each one again, and again, and again like it was a bullet waiting to find its target. You had wanted the word to fall from his lips for so long that you’d forgotten what it sounded like. You had forgotten what he sounded like, and you fucking hated yourself for it.

Then you realized he said, “Ripa,” and those four deadly little letters crushed your throat and stole the air from your lungs.

That name hadn’t felt right from the start, but it was what you had been simultaneously promoted to and reduced by. The only person who refused to call you that over the years, was your father. For two thousand days, he made sure to steer clear of it.

That’s not who you are and I know it, even if you don’t.

A sudden and hauntingly raw sob escaped, and you knew his eyes were on you in an instant.

“Don’t call me that,” You begged, meeting his gaze for the first time since he entered. Breath picking up, you were practically terror-stricken at the idea that all you were to him now was a murderer. You vigorously tried to shake the thought away, squeezing your eyes shut as everything that kept you numb seemed to vanish into thin air. “Y-You can’t-Not you too. Please, not you.”

Bellamy’s hand brushed your cheek and tears rained freely. You immediately leaned into the familiar and delicate warmth and you really fucking hoped this wasn’t your mind playing a trick on you.

“It’s okay, Y/N.” When he spoke this time, his words sounded choked too. His other hand cradled the back of your head as he pulled you into his chest and just...held you. “It’s okay.”

It was like you were standing at the edge of a building, teetering the edge before accidentally falling. Only, before you could plummet to your death, someone caught your hand, and it occurred to you that you really wanted them to pull you back up.

“Please don’t leave me again.”

Your voice was just so, so weak. Beaten down and broken.

“Never.” He said it with so much confidence and finality, you almost had to convince yourself it was real and not a dream. “I promise.”

[midnight-master]

When you speak constantly and have a voice that carries all throughout the room, the silence almost seems deafening. Its noticeable and easily picked apart by other that something is wrong.

[tanakax123]

*Not Just friends* part 1???

~Manger Fem reader x Oikawa 

~summary: You are the manager of the Aobajohsai High volleyball team. really close friends with Oikawa, so you know he has a lot of girls going after him. He rarely dates them however when he gets a new girlfriend she does not sit well with you. Will oikawa pick her or you?? 

~ warnings: uhhh idk but hes kind of mean at some point, bad words, bullying?

~ A/N: i suck at writing and im trying to get better so yes. Hahaha so enjoy this trashy story lol. 

     Being friends with Oikawa Toru is one of the most difficult things that anyone could ever imagine. However you manage just fine, well not really because he was cute but not the point. All these girls keep trying to fight you since you are one of his closest friends. However it has never bothered you and even if it did Oikawa made sure that they knew where they stand, which just made your heart race really fast. Which is why the amount of bullying from the girls settled down. 

     One day you were on your way to volleyball practice when you bumped into Iwaizumi. “Hello Y/N, im so sorry are you okay”. You looked up at him with a smile and just shook your head. “Its okay Iwa, are you on your way to practice? lets walk together”. he just smiled at you and then started walking towards the gym. 

On your way there you guys were just talking about a new movie that had just come out. When you guys started to get closer to the gym you heard two people talking and one of the voices sounded really familiar. You grab your friend and pull him to the wall. “whats wrong Y/N?” you look at him and put a finger over his mouth. You then point outside where he notices Oikawa talking to a female student. Both of you look at eachother, nod, and start to listen to the conversation. 

“Oikawa...I... I really like you. P-Please accept my feelings” said the girl. 

Your turn to look at Iwazumi suprised. You looked at him and you realize he notices the same thing as you. 

...Oikawa was blushing. 

At this moment you kind of felt a bit jealous. You have never seen Oikawa blush this much. And for a girl? never. Only for volleyball but I think everyone has seen that.

Then Oikawa gave his answer. “I accept them” and he smiles “I like you too.” He then tilts his head to give her a kiss. you rapidly turn around and hug Iwaizumi trying to hide the tears in your face. You have had a crush on your bestfriend for so long but he never noticed you so you just kept being his friend. Iwaizumi being the amazing friend he is already knew that you had a crush on Oikawa so he just hugged you back rubbing circles on your back. “It is going to be okay Y/N” he assured you. However, you were not so sure. 

Once you calmed down you and Iwa walked to the gym together. You felt bad since you caused iwa to be late to practice. “Dont worry about it, your emotional state is important to me too” he smiles at you and leaves to go get changed. You then enter the gym and notice Oikawa is running towards you

“Y/N, I have newsssssss!!!”. You take a deep breath and put on a smile. You can not let your feelings get in the way of being happy for your best friend. “Yes Toru?” (since you guys became best friends he insisted on you calling him by his first name, and since then you have never called him by his last name) he had one of the biggest smiles. you tried so hard not let tears fall. 

“I have a....girlfriend!!!!” 

You stopped smiling but he didnt notice. You smiled once again “Thats awesome Toru”. He grabbed your arm and tried to pull you in for a hug, however you stopped him. “If you have a girlfriend you probably should not be hugging other girls” you teased. He gave you a confused look “but you are my best friend, you dont like me like that so its okay, besides she knows we are close friends” you look up at him and laugh nervously “haha right” you give him a hug and tell him to go back to practice. What you both didnt know is that his girlfriend was standing outside looking through a window. 

she really did not like you. 

but we dont like her either so bleh

After about a month of them dating Oikawa has been hanging out with you less and less. It was only natural right? he got a girlfriend and he is spending most of his time with her. However it was NOT natural. He basically only talked to you like once every two days. Not even at volleyball practice. 

pathetic.

After a volleyball practice, you notice Oikawa starting to walk up to you. You look at him but then turn away to start cleaning up since it was time to go home. “hey Y/N...” you just nodded your head but did not say anything. he frowned “...im really sorry”. you knew why he was apologizing so thats when you looked up. There he was looking really upset. how could you not accept that apology. “ohh~ is the great Toru really apologizing... to me?!~” you tease. He then looked at you with wide eyes, immediately replaced with teasing ones. “you know what i take my apology back~” you start to laugh. he then tries to reach for your hand to pull you into a hug but once you see this you pull your hand away. “we should finish cleaning” you smile awkwardly then start walking away towards Iwaizumi. the entire team saw you guys, they knew something was not right but they decided not to say anything. “Are you okay Y/N?” Iwaizumi asked. you smile at him “of course”. Oikawa saw this interaction, he was not jealous of course he was hehe but he didnt know why he felt so uneasy.

Once you were done cleaning you were the last one there because the coach had to talk to you about the next practice game that was going to be in a week. When you started to lock the gym you heard footsteps behind you. you turn around and there she was. that bitch... i mean Oikawas girlfriend. 

“hey y/n we have to talk”. you just looked at her ‘why the hell is she here at this time of night’ however you just nodded your head signaling for her to start talking. “look y/n, im going to get straight to the point, i dont like you..” ‘ wow i am sooo suprised’ you thought “...you are annoying and always getting in the way. I love Oikawa so im going to do what is best for him” she stayed silent for a while. but what she said next you were not ready for. 

“You need to stop being friends with Oikawa” 

Your eyes widen and you swear you stopped breathing. what the actual fuck does this bitch think she is saying. stop being friends with Oikawa? why? why does she hate you so much to do this? of course you were not just going to let her push you around. 

“What the fuck did you just say to me” 

“you heard me”

“im sorry but i am not going to be doing that. Not unless he asks me himself, but since you swear you know him so well then you know that he wont be doing that so please stop this before you regret it”

and then before you knew it you were on the ground. she fucking punched you. ‘shit she is strong’ “You better do as i say before you lose Oikawa in the way that he wont even look at you” she then started walking away “watch yourself” and all you hear is her footsteps as you are staring at the ground. 

You dont know how long you were staring at the floor, until you heard a voice “Y/N!! are you okay??” then they started shaking your shoulders. You looked up and you see Iwa. “I thought you went home” you say. He then gave you a little side smile “and leave you to walk alone? what kind of friend would i be?” He then helped you get up and started to walk you home. 

On your way home Iwa asked you if you wanted to talk about it. He explained to you that he had seen the entire thing unfold. How she told you she didnt like you, how she told you to stop talking to Oikawa and how she punched you. You then turn to look at him with tears in your eyes. He looks at you with so much worry, so all he can think to do is hug you. The second his arms wrap around you all the tears you have been holding in just came out. You just kept crying and crying till you physically couldnt anymore. 

“it will be okay y/n. trust me”

the next day you went to school like nothing happened. 

and the next day as well.

and the next.

It was all forgotten about really, until oikawa asked you the one thing you didnt want to hear.

“Hey y/n! i think its time to introduce you to my girlfriend!” he shouted across the entire court during practice. everyone kind of just froze, especially Iwaizumi. Your glared at Oikawa “no thanks” you were mad. he hasnt talked to you in a while and thats the one thing he says to you? really? he started to jog towards you “come on y/n...you dont even know her. she is a nice person!” he tried reaching out for your arm but you swatted his hand away. 

“i said no Oikawa” 

His eyes looked hurt. You just called him by his last name. You never did that. Then it was his turn to be angry. “Why not y/n. You are being unfair” and just as you were about to say something Oikawa’s girlfriend opened the gym doors. ‘speak of the devil’ you thought. you turn to look at Oikawa who looked really angry “we will talk about this later y/n” he said as he started to walk towards his girlfriend. You rolled your eyes and scoffed. 

“yeah right more like in the next 10 years” the volleyball team snickered except Iwaizumi. He knew what was about to go down so he was ready to interfere if necessary. This was when Oikawa snapped. 

“what the fuck if your problem”

you scoffed again. “whats my problem?” you started to laugh. “You really want to know?? Fine. I will tell you. YOU OIKAWA! you are my problem.” then you rolled you eyes “of course your little princess as well” you then turn to his girlfriend and bow down as if she was an actual princess. 

“I am your problem?!  the fuck did i do?! and dont be rude to my girlfriend. she hasnt done anything to you” 

“Thats the problem oikawa! you didnt do anything!! you stopped talking to me and dont even give me five minutes of your time! its like my fucking feelings dont matter to you! oh and by the way your little “princess” has done something to me” you then turn to her and say “you want to tell him sweetheart or should I” all while glaring at her. 

She then started to cry telling Oikawa that she would never do anything to you and that you were lying. “y/n stop telling lies. she wouldn't do anything to you” oikawa said. 

You looked at him. tears in your eyes. Hoping that he could see that you felt hurt and betrayed. “are you seriously going to believe her over me?! your best friend!?” Oikawa then looks between you and his girlfriend. 

“Yes. I am. shes my girlfriend.” 

You stood there. You couldn't even cry. so instead you laughed. you couldnt stop. Your laughter just made the rest of the team cringe. they could hear you were hurt. “y/n...?” you hear Iwaizumi say. Then you stopped laughing. looked straight at Oikawa. Then let the tears roll down your face. 

“Fine.” you started to gather up your things then put your bag over your shoulder. You started to walk towards the exit. Once you were standing next to oikawa you stopped. 

“Goodbye Oikawa”

and with that you left. 

years of friendship and memories gone.

continue??????

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you got to here hiiiiiii. Thank you for reading this!! i know it wasnt all that great but should i do a part 2??? there is more to the story in my head but im not sure if i should continue or let the reader suffer hehehe. please let me know!! 

[scribeofseshat]

Okay. Long post time. The Mental Illness thing.

TW: Psychological abuse, gaslighting, child abuse, internalised ableism

A few months ago, something changed in my mental state, and I was forced to acknowledge something I'd been denying hard for years. At the time, this was probably the most terrifying thing I'd dealt with in my mental health journey. This is about to get really heavy so... You've been warned.

I was abused as a child. A lot. For a very long time. From a very young age. The more I learn about my trauma and abuse, the more I realise it probably began far earlier than I consider it to have. I acknowledge the existence of trauma and abuse from age 4 (even if I don't directly remember most of it), but its possible, even likely, that it started at age 2, or even earlier. I was around 5 when my parents decided to get me psychologically tested. I have no memory of this but that doesn't mean much; what few memories I have from the time are enough that it's plausible. Allegedly, this led to a proposal that I had "Multiple Personality Disorder" (this was back in the early-mid 90's, only a couple years after MPD stopped being used officially so it was still what everyone knew about). My parents ran with this (with reason or not), and used it to justify more abuse. Being punished for things I didn't do wasn't new, but it was justified with claims of "it was your evil alter ego, so of course you don't remember it". Were they right? I have no idea. It's not really relevant tbh. This episode ultimately left me completely terrified that I did in fact have "multiple personalities".

The truth is

A few months ago, for reasons I still don't understand, (maybe a breakthrough in my CPTSD? Hopefully its that, because that would mean its positive progress and not getting worse) I was suddenly confronted with decades of denial and repression of my experiences. I couldn't deny this time.

My world turned upside down.

The voices I could hear. Not me, but within me.

All the times they asked me about my thoughts or what I was doing.

All the times I'd referred to myself in third person, answering them.

All the times I'd watched my body perform tasks while these conversations happened.

All the times when my life didn't feel like my own.

All the times when my thoughts didn't feel like my own.

All the times knowing something happened but having no memory of it.

All the times catching myself using plural pronouns to refer to "only" myself.

I couldn't deny any of that any more.

Admitting it to myself was the hardest thing I've ever done.

I am multiple.

The following few weeks were the most terrifying of my life.

I was confronted with the reality that my parents were right about 1 detail, whether on official advisement or otherwise: I do have multiple identities. That the gaslighting may have just been facts I didn't want to accept. If they were right about that, what else were they right about? Did I actually do the things they said I did? Did I actually deserve the punishment they gave? Does it matter?

It doesn't matter.

I remember an internal shouting match. Some voices wanting to go slow, another wanted to come forward to help...

Part of me, possibly another alter (and I've got a good idea who), knew or suspected for years, and could start collecting information and observations, comparing the known symptoms and experience against other possibilities and others' experiences.

As it became clearer that my reality was... Well... My reality, it became easier to accept that even if my parents were right about this one detail, it didn't mean they were right about anything else, or that I deserved what they put me through. I could speak my truth, and it didn't mean that anything else was true. The most insidious form of gaslighting manipulates a core of truth, a single fact, that lends credibility to the rest of the lies and manipulations.

I am multiple.

We survived.

I don't know if its DID or OSDD. I'm pretty sure its not BPD... Everyone's too distinct. Everyone is internal, just... Distinct. I need to see my psych, and talk this all through with her. I know only 1 thing for certain: I am multiple. That is my truth.

It's why I can forget all details of a day, or an event, immediately after. It's why I, or rather, some alters, feel like my life belongs to someone else. It's why the most happy and stress free we've ever been was the first month on campus, immediately before everything closed for COVID - a blank slate life, no one to know if we're behaving different, no pressure to act like the same person. Not fearing someone walking in on a conversation.

I first discovered DID as a possibility when it was first suggested that I have CPTSD and/or a dissociative disorder (thanks to significant overlap in symptoms and frequent co-morbidity). I immediately rejected it and denied any sign of it, accepting no more than the possibility that "I almost developed DID". I was terrified of the possibility, or that people would think I was schizophrenic (internalised ableism is a bitch). Accepting it as a very real possibility is hard, terrifying, but I hope a sign of healing. I don't know if this is better or worse; my point of reference to before can hardly be called reliable.

I still fear that im wrong. That I'm not multiple and just... Idk... Mentally ill? Seems counterintuitive. I'm afraid that I'm mentally ill, not mentally ill?

I need to talk about this properly, but financially I can't access my psych at the moment. I'm terrified to tell her any of this. I don't know how to bring it up. I don't know how to explain any of this to her. I just... Need to talk about it. Need to know that this is real.

[just-random-obsessions]

Funny Moments In Thor The Dark World

Find Thor 1 here

Find Avengers 1 here

This is the second part of me watching all three thor movies and the avengers movie and comparing the humor pre-ragnarok to the humor in the 3rd Thor movie. And, as before, I’m writing this on my computer where the I and U keys don’t work so sorry for any spelling mistakes.

Tag List: @nikkoliferous @fyrecrafted @lokijiro @miskiett @darthxerik @icyxmischief @iamanartichoke @juliabohemian @official-and-unstable-satan @melodylnoelle @just-another-human-2019 @fandomsfanfiction @mentallydatingahotcelebrity @cateyes315 @burningarbiterheart @imnotacreepijustlikeyou @usedtobegoodfriend96 @alexakeyloveloki

Official-and-unstable-satan and fandomsfanfiction weren’t tagged sry

Anyone who wants to be added/removed to the tag list please let me know! and if I missed someone please also let me know. Sorry this post is so long

~ “Hello Mother. Have I made you proud?”

~ “Please don’t make things worse” “Define worse”

~ “I really don’t see what all the fuss is about”

~ “Just like you”

~ *That smile!!!!*

~ “I’ve got this completely under control!” “Is that why everything’s on fire?”

~ *About the Scary MonsterTM: “All yours”

~ *Thor says hi to the Big Scary MonsterTM*

~ “I accept your surrender”

~ “Anyone else?” *All the people simultaneously: NOPE*

~ “Perhaps next time we should START with the big one”

~ *Odin obviously shipping Thor and Jane* (idk I got a kick out of this)

~ *Jane awkwardly avoiding her date*

~ *Date: hi*

~ *Him awkwardly talking about his ex*

~ “And the fact that she kept sleeping with other men” “NO!”

~ *Darcy being mistaken for a waitress*

~ *Darcy mouthing “Cute” to Jane about Richard*

~ *Darcy embarrassing Jane by talking about Thor*

~ “Is there a point to all of this cause there REALLY needs to be a point to all of this”

~ “That’s what I said!”

~ “That’s what I did!”

~ “He’s not interested” “I’m interested” (Am I the only one who feels like his awkwardness was actually kinda cute?)

~ “He’s my intern.” “You have an intern?”

~ *Intern is fucking adorable like Richard*

~ “I have totally mastered driving in London!” *Has not mastered it at all*

~ *Selvig running around Stonehenge naked*

~ *Darcy keeps calling Ian ‘Intern’*

~ *Darcy calls Jane cause she didn’t wanna shout*

~ God I fucking love Darcy she’s so criminally underrated

~ “I am not getting stabbed in the name of science”

~ “It’s okay, we’re Americans!” “Is that supposed to make them like us?”

~ “We’re scientists-well I am” “Thanks”

~ “That doesn’t seem right”

~ “I wanna throw something! Jane give me your shoe!”

~ *Jane ignores Darcy*

~ “Give me your shoe”

~ “Were those the car keys?”

~ *Ian’s face when he realizes he threw the car keys to another planet*

~ *If you have to bury so many people then you’re doing something wrong you hot dumb fuck* (I mean that’s basically what Heimdall said right?)

~ “Typical” *after being left behind while Jane goes to talk to her boyfriend*

~ *Jane! Love of my life and most talented and beautiful person in the world oh how I love yo-SLAP*

~ “As excuses go, its not terrible”

~ “I know” “You do?” “Do what?”

~ *Darcy interrupts the KissTM*

~ “Um I’m pretty sure we are getting arrested”

~ “How’s space?” “Space is fine”

~ “He’s my intern… My intern’s intern”

~ “Holy shit!” (after Jane went up in the Bifrost)

~ *Heimdall calmly dodges the car*

~ “We have to do that again”

~ “Hello”

~ “What’s that?”

~ “It’s a soul forge” *No I’m pretty sure that’s a quantum field generator*

~ *Jane being ready to fight Odin for comparing her to a goat*

~ “You told your dad about me?”

~ “It must be so inconvenient, them asking about me day and night”

~ “Please meet my mother” *Jane shies away from Thor*

~ Loki casually tossing the thingamajig in the air like the cute little shit he is

~ Lord, he’s so damn pretty

~ *Kurse being like: Lol I ain’t touchin’ that boy with a ten foot pole*

~ “It’s as if they resent being in prison”

~ “There’s no pleasing some creatures”

~ *Loki calmly reading a book while all Hel breaks loose*

~ “You have my word that no harm will come to yo-” nvm bitch die

~ *THAT look between Sif and Jane*

~ *Frigga immediately seeing through Odin’s bs lies*

~ *Heimdall: I have defeated the big space ship!! The bigger one behind him: Bitch you thought*

~ “WITCH!!!!” *Now I know who Loki gets his amazing aforementioned smile from*

~ *Selvig using shoes to explain complicated science*

~ *Selvig then using pencils*

~ “Any questions?” “Yeah, can I have my shoe back?”

~ “What’s SHIELD?” “It’s a secret”

~ *Darcy’s cute af face when she sees that Selvig is in the mental hospital*

~ “Are you sure you wouldn’t just rather punch your way out?”

~ *Loki shapeshifting into the guard*

~ “Mmm Brother, you look ravishing”

~ “Costumes a bit much”

~ “So tight!”

~ “I can FEEL the righteousness surging!!”

~ “HEY wanna have a rousing discussion about truth?”

~ “Honor?”

~ “Patriotism?”

~ “GOD BLESS AMERICA!”

~ “At last. A little common sens-”Bitch are you really fucking kidding me? (What do you mean that’s not what he said?)

~ “I thought you liked tricks”

~ “I’m Loki, you may have heard of-” SLAP

~ “That was for New York”

~ “I like her”

~ *Loki gazing lovingly at Jane in the background*

~ “Betray him, and I’ll kill you.” “It’s good to see you too Sif”

~ “If you even think about betraying him-” “You’ll kill me? Evidently there will be a line”

~ “I thought you said you knew how to fly this thing.” “I said how hard can it be?”

~ “Whatever your doing brother I suggest you do it faster.” “Shut up Loki

~ “You must’ve missed something.” “I didn’t, I’m pressing every button on this thing”

~ “Well don’t hit it. Just press it, gently.” “I aM pReSsInG iT gEnTlY AND ITS NOT WORKING!!!”

~ *Thor starts slamming buttons and it starts working*

~ *Volstagg: Oh fighting is much fun- OH SHIT IM FALLING!! HELP!!!*

~ “I think you missed a column.” “Shut up”

~ “Why don’t you let me take over? I’m clearly the best pilot”

~ *Bitch I’m the one who can actually fly*

~ “Oh dear. Is she dead?”

~ *Thor knocks over a column* “Not a word”

~ “Now they’re following us”

~ “Now they’re firing at us”

~ “Yes thank you for the commentary Loki, it’s not at all distracting”

~ “Well done, you just decapitated your grandfather”

~ *Seriously, whoever wrote the escape scene is a genius!!!*

~ *Loki yelling at Thor about how thIs was a bad idea you dumb fuck- wait wtf are you doing AAAAHHHHH!!!!1*

~ “You lied to me. I’m impressed”

~ *That smile again snfnejaihfeqrqrsbdsalxdjewonjfeq*

~ “For Asgard!” YEET

~ “Nothing personal boys!”

~ “If it were easy, everyone would do it”

~ “Are you mad?” “Possibly”

~ “TADAAA”

~ “Oh yeah, my father. Eric Selvig”

~ “And these” “yeah… those”

~ “How did you find me?” “You were naked on television”

~ “I don’t get paid enough. I don’t get paid at all”

~ “What’s happening? Birds? Birds are happening?”

~ “All right are you ready?” “I am”

~ *phone rings* “It’s not me”

~ “Why are there so many shoes in here?”

~ “I’ll just text her”

~ “So who’s Richard?”

~ *Thor hanging his hammer on a coat hanger*

~ “Where are your pants?” “Oh he says it helps him think”

~ “Loki is dead” “Oh thank God!”

~ “Better get my pants”

~ “Do you even know what these things do?” “No” “…Neither do I”

~ “Ooh get the guy with the sword!”

~ “Oops”

~ *Ian’s high-pitched scream*

~ *Does car insurance cover My Car Was Sucked Into Another Planet Due To A Cosmic Event That Only Occurs Once Every 5000 Years or no?*

~ *Thor and Malekith fighting between worlds and poor little Mjolnir trying to keep up*

~ *The two of them against windows*

~ *AAAHHH*

~ *Awww! Look at the cute little Jotunheim monster! He’s so adorable I wanna pet him so much!’

~ *Darcy and Ian kissing after he saved her life*

~ “Darcy?” “Jane!” “Ian?” “Selvig.”

~ “Myuh Myuh!!”

~ *Thor ends up on the subway*

~ *The girl taking 50 photos*

~ *Thor and the woman colliding into eachother*

~ “I’ve come to accept your surrender”

~ *Malekith gets crushed by his own ship. Now that’s some lovely karma right there*

~ *Darcy and Ian go back to kissing*

~ “He kinda committed treason on our way out” oops

~ Jotunheim Puppy chasing birds

Wow I’m so sorry this was so long. But guess what? It’s gonna get even longer. Sorry, again.

So one of the differences between the first and second Thor movies is that Thor 2 has humor in the climax whereas Thor 1 doesn’t. This is because of the differences with who is the villain. In Thor 1, Thor is having to fight his brother. To quote Avengers, they “played together and fought together” for several millennia. Of course there’s not going to be any humor in it cause there shouldn’t be. The climax at the end of the movie isn’t supposed to be some epic battle between the forces of Good TM and Bad TM. It’s supposed to be tragic that he’s having to fight his own brother because Loki lost his mind due to so many factors. The last joke in the film is “You’re an amazon liar brother, always have been” “It’s good to have you back”. There’s nothing else till the end credit scene. That’s because Kenneth Branagh knew that this was supposed to be viewed at as being sad a hopeless, not some awesome upbeat battle.

Thor 2 on the other hand, is exactly that. Thor has known Malekith for.. what? 2 days? Maybe 3? His relationship and dynamic with Malekith is different than with his brother. To Thor, this is just another enemy attacking Asgard. And I’m not sure whether this was intentional or not (because I remember reading somewhere how Allen Taylor had a bitch of a time in the editing process so I think the movie came out different than he intended) but the lack of any personal relationship will Malekith means the film can make really funny jokes and still have it fit with the film. If anything, I might even argue that the humor helped the film to maintain a very nice positive vibe. Idk I can’t think of the right words to explain it but the jokes actually fit the film very well.

However, then we move on to Ragnarok. With Ragnarok, Thor is fighting his sister. While (just like Malekith) he has only known her for two days, that still doesn’t take away the fact that he is having to fight his sibling. And I’m not a film director but if I had the option of approaching this situation and taking it the Thor 1 route or the the Thor 2 route, I’d go with Thor 1. Because it’s actually incredibly tragic that Hela has been driven to insanity like Loki (though ok a different level) due to Odin’s shitty parenting. She is the horrible way she is because Odin made her that way. And that could’ve been an AMAZINGLY complex story with the audience feeling so much sympathy for Hela like we did with Loki in Thor 1, but the narrative just falls flat for two reasons. 1) Taika admitted he didn’t want the film to be emotionally complex so 2) The humor in the climax completely detracts from the seriousness of the situation.

Also, some side notes: Yes, this is edited from the original. I accidentally deleted everything and then had to go back and add everything back in. So I also had to re-tag people too. And I also added a bit more explanation at the end. I meant to do so when I originally posted but it never got done till now. Sry. Also sry that it’s so long

[queenmylovely]

Okay but concept: being surprised when ben says he has a crush on you because hes Like That with all his friends (especially after a couple drinks) like youve lost count of the times hes kissed your cheek or hugged you for no reason and yeah it makes you go all gooey whenever he does it but that's just ben! he's an affectionate dude! Except then he admits its different with you and idk man im just real deep in my ben feels rn and oh that boy will be the death of me

Okay, Brigid how dare you send this to me right when I was going to get ready for bed, bitch? Jk, i love it and ily and mayhaps was inspired to write a quick blurb about it. 

Yeah, I wrote that before actually writing this and it’s 1.7k so it’s going below the cut. No warnings but fluff and awkwardness and cussing lol 

Masterlist

☆☆☆

You could still smell the intoxicating mix of cologne, scotch, and cigarettes and feel the ghost of warm arms wrapped around your body when someone’s voice pulled you from your haze.

“Earth to Y/N,” Lucy said, waving a hand in front of your face.

“Huh? What?” you asked confusedly after batting her hand away.

“Well I was trying to have a conversation with my friend, until Ben came up to hug you and so rudely interrupted me. Then you turned all mushy ‘cause you’re in love with him,” she said dryly.

“Wh- I- I am not in love with him,” you sputtered out, having made the mistake of taking a sip of your drink as she spoke.

“You’re in love with him, you think he’s cute, same difference,” she replied and you were about to protest when she kept talking. “I don’t know why the two of you don’t get together, or at least fuck.”

“Oh my- because we don’t have feelings for each other that’s why,” you reasoned and she gave you a withering look. “…Well he doesn’t have feelings for me, is that a good enough reason for you?”

Lucy laughed, actually laughed at your question and you frowned in confusion. “Are you kidding me? You don’t think that that man- Ben- has feelings for you? How do you explain his touchiness and lingering hugs and kisses on the cheek?”

You shook your head at her and explained, “Ben’s just a flirty person. He’s like that with everyone, especially when he’s tipsy.”

“Bullshit. He doesn’t hug me like that, with his hands wrapped tight around you, squeezing your waist, and practically running a hand through your hair. And he only kisses my cheek and just barely when we say hello and goodbye. He kisses you for no reason all the time,” she countered, her gaze set evenly with yours.

You opened and closed your mouth a couple times, trying to find a response even as Lucy’s description of what your and Ben’s hugs looked like made you feel warmer than usual. Then you said lamely, “That’s just because you have Rami. He’s not going to be the same with someone who’s in a relationship.”

“Okay, if you’re gonna keep talking this shit, at least go get me a refill,” Lucy said, holding her empty glass up to you.

You rolled your eyes but smiled and grumbled out, “Fine,” before grabbing her glass and heading to the bar.

The bar was a much louder scene than the one the two of you were in at your little high-chaired table for two. There were people shouting at one another in conversation, clearly too drunk to realize they weren’t using the correct volume. Many were clamoring for the bartender’s attention to order more drinks and you cringed at the thought of heading into the fray. Lucky for you, you spotted four of your friends in a little group and walked up to them, catching them at the end of a conversation.

“Just do it, you coward,” Joe laughed before taking a shot and you saw all the other three down theirs as well. His comment had been directed towards Ben, and you assumed it had been about taking the shot. Since you had walked up behind him, you couldn’t tell what he had thought of the shot he didn’t want to slam.

“Hiya guys,” you said cheerfully, and three sets of eyes moved to you in synch. Joe, Rami, and Gwil’s faces cracked into smiles as they started laughing for some reason, just as Ben whipped around to face you.

Ben’s face immediately flushed, a side effect of the alcohol you mused, and he cracked an uneasy smile of his own.

“Hey, Y/N,” he said, his voice unusually high, but he still pulled you closer for a quick peck on the cheek as if he couldn’t help himself, and you felt heat spread from the point of contact across your entire face. Hopefully it wasn’t too noticeable.

“Whatcha up to?” Joe asked you goofily, nodding to the one practically full and one completely empty glass in your hands.

“Oh, I was sent to get a refill for Lucy. Apparently our topic of conversation requires some libation,” you joked, careful not to reveal anything specific.

“I can handle that, why don’t you stay and chat for a second?” Rami told you, grabbing the glass from your hand and walking up to the bar, somehow finding the one empty spot and getting the bartender’s attention right away.

“You know, I was just thinking I wanted to put a song on the jukebox. Help me find a good one, Joe?” Gwil asked, Joe nodded, and as they walked away together you saw them giggling and stealing glances back.

“Okay…” you said, taking one of their empty chairs to face Ben. You were about to make a comment about everyone’s strange behavior when you looked at Ben. His face was still flushed, and he kept glancing between you and his hands.

You reached out and placed a hand on his knee gently, “Ben, you alright?”

His knee tensed at your contact, and he looked at your hand apprehensively, so you started to move it away, self-conscious at having initiated the contact, but before you could completely, Ben grabbed your hand.

Looking up at him as you felt the warmth from his hand spreading up your arm and through your entire body, you waited for him to speak.

“Actually, can I talk to you?” he asked nervously.

“Of course, you can talk to me about anything,” you nodded, a little worried from his tone that something was wrong.

“…Do you wanna go outside for a bit? I can hardly hear my own voice in here,” Ben suggested and you agreed, following his lead out the door.

As soon as you stepped outside, you were hit with the temperature change. The bar had been hot and almost sweaty with all the people, but outside the air was freezing. You shivered, and rubbed your hands on your upper arms, hoping the friction would keep you warm.

“Oh fuck, I forgot how cold it is out here,” Ben said, after he turned back to you and saw your shivering form. He took off his overcoat and had you turn around, helping you to pull it on over your cute, but definitely too thin for the weather, sweater.

You turned back around, smiling at him for the friendly gesture. He smiled back at you, a dreamy look in his eyes at seeing you wrapped up in his too-big-for-you coat. The warm feeling it gave him distracted him from why the two of you had come outside.

“So…” you prompted, wondering yourself what you were doing out in the cold.

“Right, I’m supposed to be talking to you,” Ben said, shaking his head clear from those thoughts. “Basically, um, I just wanted to tell you– well, the boys told me to tell you– not that it’s not true or anything, I’m just kinda a coward and not good at this stuff– and I do want to tell you– I guess I think I’m trying to give hints or something, but, um, they told me that’s not enough and that I should just get over it and– I mean I’m just kind of nervous and I don’t, um, want to, uh, make anything weird– well, I’m–”

“Ben,” you said, interrupting his rambling lest he go on and on until the two of you froze. “Take a breath. I promise, whatever you’re trying to tell me will be alright,” you told him, trying to be a supportive friend through whatever seemingly troublesome thing he was trying to tell you.

He took your advice and breathed in and out in time with the guidance of your hands a couple times before he seemed ready. “Okay. What I’m trying to tell you is that I really really like you and have feelings for you, romantically. And I guess I’m hoping you feel the same way.”

You stared at Ben in shock, not moving except to blink a couple times in confusion. As you remained silent, Ben started getting a slightly panicked look on his face and lifted a hand to cover it slightly.

“Aw, fuck, I shouldn’t have said anything, now the whole group’s dynamic is going to be off–”

“Wait, Ben are you serious? Like, you’re for real?” you ask, interrupting him again and making him drop his hand to look at you.

“Serious about liking you? Yeah I’m serious about that,” he said a little sheepishly, dropping his gaze from yours.

“Like 100%, heart attack serious?” you repeated, the meaning of his words finally breaking through your shock.

“Yes, 100% heart attack serious, do we really need to drive this point furth– are you laughing?” now it was his turn to be confused and he looked back up to see you smiling and giggling. Even in his confused state he couldn’t help but return your beautifully contagious smile, “Why are you laughing?”

“Because, Ben, I’ve liked you for months, and Lucy just told me, like ten minutes ago, that you like me and I didn’t believe her,” you explained, taking a step closer to him, still smiling.

“She did? How’d she know? Did the boys tell her?” he asked you, skipping over the part where you said you liked him too.

“No, she said it was obvious with all the hugs and cheek kisses and stuff, but I didn’t believe her,” you admitted, taking another step closer.

“You didn’t?”

“No, I mean, you’re a pretty flirty drunk, Ben. Always giving and receiving those cheek kisses like no one’s business,” you said cheekily, taking one more step. “Then again, maybe I just notice it happening with everyone else because I’m jealous.”

“Jealous?” he asked, his voice higher again as you were now just one step away from being pressed up against him.

“Mhm,” you nodded, and you moved your forearms to rest on his chest, keeping one hand there but running a finger from the other hand along his cheek and jaw to his chin. Then you brushed the pad of your thumb ever so lightly along his parted lower lip. “Yeah I think I was just jealous because I wanted all of that attention, your lips on me, and my lips on you, and no one else’s anywhere.”

Ben’s hands found their way to your waist and he said, practically breathlessly, as he stared into your eyes, “That’s- that’s what I want too.”

“Yeah?” you asked, glancing between his eyes and lips and he moved closer and closer.

“Yeah,” he breathed over your lips, just before connecting his mouth to yours.

★★★ 

I’m also tagging because it’s practically oneshot length: @riseetothesun @caborhapch @drowseoftaylor @queenlover05

[comphersjost]

Into the Storm ➸ Rafe Cameron

honestly, i wrote like the last two thirds of this high off my ass, idk if its good or not, im self conscious but im too lazy and too tired to proof read. please forgive any errors, plot holes, typos, etc, ily 

Rafe’s been helping you get over John B, when you think it’s going too far, you try to disappear into a storm,  not knowing that Rafe would follow.

words: 1.7k

warnings: uh smut, pretty lowkey smut tbh, leetle beet john b x reader, angst, storms, idk what else, this was supposed to be filth but i didnt feel like it lol

oh and it is a song fic so go ahead and listen to into the storm by banners while you read :)

as always: masterlist

If you're far from home Broken on a lonely road Helpless when the sky explodes Then I need you to know When you're 'round the bend Close your eyes and count to ten I'll walk through hell and back again Anywhere you go If your strength is falling down I'll be right beside you now And I'll keep you warm Yeah, I'll keep you warm

You felt like you were melting under the heat of Rafe’s gaze. You avoided looking at him at all costs, trying to stall the inevitable while looking for an escape plan. Rain poured down outside, the storm slowly getting worse. You and John B had surfed the surge just that morning. 

John B. 

You didn't even want to think about him right now, with the way Rafe was eyeing you like a predator. You needed to get out of here. You had to make it home before Rafe got to you because you both knew you couldn't resist him. He was addicting. 

You see your opening, weaving through the crow of people to slip out of the back door, heading for the guest house. You figured if you could hide in there long enough for the storm to pass and Rafe to stop looking for you, then you were good to go. 

“Come on, princess,” Rafe groans, annoyed as the door opens. “The guest house? It's like you're begging me to come find you, but felt like torturing me on the way.” You roll your eyes and wordlessly open one of the cabinets by the oven. 

“Here,” you say softly, tossing Rafe a towel. “Was just about to watch a movie, you can join me if you want. I'm gonna change.” 

You don't give Rafe a chance to speak before you've disappeared into the guest bedroom. When you come out, wearing a hoodie of Rafe’s and a pair of his boxers, he stares for longer than he means to, mouth open. 

“You're drooling,” you tease. Rafe brings his hand to his face, eyes narrowing and you when he realizes he wasn't actually drooling. Your voice drops to a murmur. “Stop staring.” 

You grab a soft fluffy blanket from the closet, avoiding Rafe’s eyes. 

“Baby, I could look at you forever,” he finally states, his tone serious. 

“Stop staring, Rafe,” you repeat again, softer this time. Weaker, giving in, tired of fighting. 

“I can't,” he whispers. “I'd follow you anywhere, like I followed you into the storm.”

I'll follow you into the storm Follow you into the stormI will, I will

Be with you when you call

Carry you to the dawn

I will, I will

Follow you into the storm

“Rafe…”

“Tell me you don't feel the same!” he shouts, his breathing uneven, voice quieting once more. “Tell me, that you don't miss me the second we’re apart, tell me that you can think clearly when I’m around because shit, Y/N, when you're around I can't remember my own name. Fuck, Y/N, tell me you don't love me, and I'll turn around right now and leave you alone.” 

“I - I can't,” you whisper. 

“Can't what?” 

“I can't tell you that I don't love you,” you confessed, letting him step closer to you, his nose brushing yours. “It’s just not true, Rafe.” 

“Say it then,” he challenges you. 

“I can't say it either.” 

“Say it.” 

“I can't.” 

“Say it.” 

“I CAN’T!” 

You feel like you want to cry when Rafe makes you look at him. “I love you,” he mumbles softly against your lips, giving you a feather light peck along with it. He can see it in your eyes that you want to say it back, but you just can't. So he scans your body, he hasn't seen you since the weekend before. He spots a set of three jagged parallel lines on your neck. 

“Woah, hey, what happened?” he coos, stroking the angry red lines softly, kissing your temple. 

“This rock came out of nowhere this morning when I surfed the surge,” you explained, Rafe’s concerned eyes trained on you. “I don't even know where it came from, but it knocked me off my board, John B had to help me get back to shore before I bled too much.”

You feel Rafe tense against you, and you wonder what it is that you could've said wrong until-

“John B,” Rafe says slowly, as if having been reminded of your friendship with him, and up until you met Rafe 6 months ago, the massive crush you had on him. “Right.” 

No pogue-on-pogue macking was the rule, so when Rafe caught you making heart eyes at John B across the Boneyard one day, he offered to help you out. He'd help you forget your feelings for your best friend and he “well, I get to bang one of, if not, the most eligible bachelorette on this island” Rafe had said. You'd laughed at him then, throwing a shell you'd found in the sand at him. 

“Okay, Mr. Kook Prince.” 

“That's Mr. Kook King to you.”

But that wasn't all, when you were with them, Rafe most left you and the Pogues alone, shooting you longing looks when no one was looking. And now you were here, with him in front of you, having just confessed his love. 

“You don't have anything to worry about Rafe,” you say to him, looking up into his eyes and placing your hands on his chest. “You know how I feel about you, even if-” you falter. But you know Rafe knows “-even if things aren't...totally, gone yet, with John B. You know me, Rafe and I-” Your eyes squeeze shut. You can't. 

“I know.” Rafe kisses your nose, then your lips. Pulling back too looks at you as you open your eyes. “I love you too.” 

“I'm sorry,” you whisper. 

“Baby,” Rafe’s hand tangles in your hair, bringing you in for a kiss. “You-” 

BANG! 

You flinch at the noise, instinctively retreating into Rafe’s arms while you scan your surroundings for the origin of the noise. When you come up empty, you look up at Rafe’s face and watch as it's plunged into darkness. 

“Fuck,” you say quietly, still shaking in Rafe’s arms, “Looks like the party’s over. What happens now? Don't you guys have generators? Who's gonna take care of it?” 

Rafe laughs. “Well normally, I would take care of it, but I’d rather stay here with you.” His lips are on yours before you can object, distracting you so deliciously that you could wait til morning for the generators.

So violently

Held captive by your gravity

Hold your breath and wait for me

Where the wind may blow

Through night and dark

Through fantasies that fall apart

Know you're always in my heart

Anywhere you go

You're like a drug Rafe can't quit. You're worse than the cocaine. At least coke is predictable. 

But you, he keeps coming back to you like you're the center of gravity and he can't stray too far away from you. You love John B. You’ve loved John B, for so long. And Rafe knows it. 

But when he's kissing you, when he's fucking you, when his hands are wrapped around your throat, Rafe got to pretend you loved him. And now, when he pulls you into his lap on the couch, he can't help but feel the hope bubble to the surface. 

The way you looked at him had only happened in fantasies, late at night, or when he was daydreaming about you. 

If your strength is falling down

I'll be right beside you now

And I'll keep you warm

Yeah, I'll keep you warm 

Oh, be with you when you call

Carry you till the dawn

Follow you into the storm

Anywhere that you go

Anywhere that you go

I'll follow you into the storm

Follow you into the storm

Oh, be with you when you call

Carry you to the dawn

Follow you into the storm

It's when Rafe is fucking you up against the wall that you say it. It’s then you know that you would go to any length for him. He was it for you. 

“I love you, Rafe!” 

The words are enough to make him gasp, fucking into you impossibly harder and deeper until you cum helplessly. Rafe groans as he fuck you into the wall, surely leaving bruises on your back and your hips. 

“Say it again,” he growls. 

“I love you,” you whimper softly, grasping onto his shoulders as the tip of his cock nudges your g-spot. 

“Again.” 

“I love you!” this time you cry out as Rafe adds a sharp thrust to his word. 

“Say it again, Y/N, please, say it like you mean it.” Rafe is begging now, hand falling to your clit to make you cum on his cock again. 

“I do mean it, Rafe,” you plead, turning Rafe’s jaw so he was looking you in the eye. “I mean it. I love you, Rafe Cameron.” 

Rafe stares at you for a few moments, mouth open dumbly, before his face contorts as he groans and hunches over you. You whimper and writhe against the wall and the feeling of Rafe fucking his cum into you, arching your back when he throws you into orgasm as well. His lips close around your nipple as both of you start to come down. 

Later, when your breathing and heartbeat had slowed to a normal pace, on the soft mattress of the guest house bed, Rafe speaks again. 

“I would follow you into any storm,” he whispers into the dark room, eyes trained on the ceiling as his arms tighten around you and bring you closer to his chest. “I would follow you out to sea in the middle of a god damn hurricane, Y/N.” 

You're silent for a few minutes, Rafe almost thinks you've fallen asleep. 

“I would follow you into any storm too, Rafe,” you murmur in his ear, kissing his cheek softly. “I just didn't know it until today. Thank you for following me today Rafe.” 

Rafe turns his head to look at you. 

“Now that it’s all out in the open and stuff does this mean you're my Kook Queen?”