#if anyone has more compelling arguments feel free to add

[lovvecherrymotion]

my poly!jo headcanon is that they decide top/bottom by who can pick up who. Nace "mighty D" Jordan can lift anyone, Jan likes to be picked up by Nace but can easily tackle down Bojan, Kris I think could also lift at least Jure, but he's a pillow princess so he won't even try 💅 Jure I have no idea (have we seen him trying to pick anyone up?), Bojan we all know 😌

✨️*brought to you by no-one-asked-but-I-wanted-to-share*✨️

this is a really fun headcanon, anon!! i actually think bojan is stronger than he looks but he doesn't mind being thrown around, that's why jan or anyone really can so easily tackle him down 😌

as for jure... he did carry princess kris 👀

and did this to bojan

so come to your own conclusions about that 😏

[ynscrazylife]

You know what I really miss? Avengers x teen!reader headcanons, there use to be so much avengers content and practically dominated tumblr🥲

It would totally make my WEEK if you would make some classic mcu avengers(before infinity war) x teen!reader x Peter Parker(romantic) headcanons just about reader having powers and what it’s like living with the avengers 💕

-possible your new 👾anon?

let’s do this 💪 and YES you’ll be my first emoji anon!! @ anyone else, feel free to claim ur emoji!!

avengers x teen!reader headcanons

The Avengers are definitely reluctant to add another teenager to the team. Having Peter is great but has been a big adjustment, as they had to train him and protect him, less they face the wrath of Aunt May.

However, you were a compelling case, with your extensive abilities. You didn’t have many other options as to where to go and you hit it off with Peter right off the bat, working very well together as a pair. So, they took you in.

Tony worked with you on designs for your suit, Natasha and Steve trained you in combat (which meant you were going on morning runs with Steve and Sam. How fun . . . Though Sam could be convinced to give you piggy back rides, and you became Clint’s personal arrow-picker-upper. If you had powers, Wanda would definitely help you manage them.

Peter was naturally in tune to science, which meant you hung around the lab with him and Bruce a lot. It became a nice time to get your homework done, as Bruce would definitely help you with that. Sometimes you acted as Bruce’s and Peter’s assistant with their experiments.

Bruce was also a very good listener and your go-to person to vent to about your life’s problems (when Peter wasn’t around).

One of the conditions to be on the team was that you didn’t lapse in schoolwork, so they were very on top of that and your grades. Tony even offered to go to parent-teacher meetings. Any one of them were ready to go to your teachers or principal if anything happened.

Natasha would routinely check in with you to make sure that you weren’t being bullied.

Pepper also became a motherly figure, as she cared very much about you and Peter. She’d offer you a Stark Industries internship.

Movie nights were chaotic, but absolutely the best. It was hard for anyone to agree, so the team had a system where they’d rotate who got to pick the meeting. Sam and Peter were also not allowed to make popcorn after many unfortunate incidents. Most of the time you fell asleep late into the night and one of the Avengers carried you to bed (they’d never admit this, but that also became an argument).

It was during a movie night when Peter realized he liked you romantically. You fell asleep during a movie, your head on his shoulder. Peter swore he never experienced something so precious before. He was adamant to keep your peace, glaring at anyone who dared to talk.

The team found your growing romance to be adorable and often teased the two of you about it. The only people who didn’t tease you were Bruce, Pepper, and Thor (because he didn’t really understand how to effectively tease).

If Flash messed with you, Peter was always on top of it. He’d always protect you.

Steve was also always making sure that you knew right from wrong. He’d give long speeches about how it wasn’t right to smoke, drink, do drugs, etc.

Then Thor gave you Asgardian alcohol once, not realizing how bad that was considering you’re both human and underage. That was a mess. Peter having to hold your hair back when you vomited and multiple Avengers escorting you to bed. Thor got an earful about it.

Clint was one of the ones who better understood you, seeing as he had experience with his own kids. He was always good at mediating and defusing the tension.

Laura also adored you, you were her favorite babysitter for the kids. Whenever they went on date night, they’d drop the kids off at the tower, and you would watch them (Peter would help when he wasn’t on patrol).

Patrolling with Peter was also very fun. More often than not he’d convince you to take a break, then swing you up on top of a roof to watch over the city and the sky.

On multiple occasions, KAREN would rat the two of you out to Tony, but he was never mad. He just wanted to know all about the “date”.

Prom was also very fun. Honestly, the whole team would want to come pick out outfits with you and Peter. They took many, many pictures on the night of. Peter also teared up when he saw you. He thought you were stunning.

Of course, you guys had a curfew, but it was alright. You and Peter had a fantastic night. All he wanted to do was dance and hold you.

You had Happy wrapped around your finger. You could really convince him to drive you anywhere you wanted to go.

You also managed to get an internship at the Sanctum Santorum, learning more about magic under Doctor Strange and Wong’s guidance. The Avengers weren’t particularly thrilled, as they were worried about you being hurt, but understood your want to explore.

You really wanted to see all the areas of being a hero. Clint taught you archery and Natasha taught you how to be a spy. You’d listen to Natasha and Clint’s spy stories for hours. Peter would have to pry you away.

Peter always insisted on having date nights and would go all out, making every date special. He’d do anything to make you happy.

And so would all the Avengers. They loved seeing you smile, it brightened up their whole world and made the team stronger.

[dnddiary]

The Adventurer Formerly Known As A Prince

I asked a friend of mine what sort of character he'd like to see in a campaign, expecting an answer like Batman or Spiderman. Instead he threw me off guard by saying "Prince."

And I was gonna be like "oh I'm not so sure I can do that," but I had honestly already started doing it in my head. So I guess...here's Prince...in DnD

Race: Eladrin

Prince was known for being passionate, mercurial, and eccentric, all things you can say about the Eladrin subrace of elves.

The Eladrin are elves of the Feywild and are ethereal creatures ruled by strong emotions. After each long rest a player chooses what "season" their form should take, which dictates what sort of strong emotions they might feel, changes to their appearance, and how their special abilities behave.

And let's be real, if any man deserves the title "otherworldly"...

...it's him.

What that Gets You

Ability Score : Dex +2, Cha +1

Darkvision

Fey Ancestry: Advantage against being charmed and immunity to magical sleep

Trance: don't need to sleep, just meditate for four hours.

Keen senses: Proficiency with Perception skill (which is apropos considering Prince had his entire home bugged so he could see and hear everything)

Fey Step: Free thirty foot teleport per short/long rest with a single additional effect based on the season your character has currently chosen which include charming targets, frightening targets, dealing bonus damage, or teleporting an additional creature with you.

Background

Entertainer: Any performing background falls under this umbrella

What that Gets You

Proficiencies: Acrobatics, Performance, disguise kit, a musical instrument

Feature: by performing at a tavern you can get free lodging and people in that town will have a more positive reaction to you

Now for the important bits

Classes

Im doing this build up to level 11 because it involves a multi-classing option.

Primary Class: Bard...because duh

But the question is....what type of bard?

You could make an argument for several subclasses based on Prince's discography, personal life, or aesthetic flair, and if you wanna make your own Prince-based class you have some room for interpretation.

However, I've chosen to focus on two things that Prince did best; make infectious dance beats and CREATE. Prince was responsible for inspiring and cultivating an entire generation of artists and has one of the largest bodies of work imaginable spanning a huge number of different genres.

For that reason I'd say Prince would be a bard from the College of Creation

If anyone could hum a few bars from the Song that drives the Universe...it was Prince.

Ability Scores:

I don’t ascribe to any one particular ability score system and I’ll generally be open to whatever the players prefer. The aim of the game is for people to LIKE their characters after all.

However, whatever system you use the priorities for a character like this should be, in my opinion, as follows:

1. Charisma

2. Dexterity (You’ll be focusing on weapons with the Finesse property)

3a. Wisdom 

3b. Intelligence (Both Wis and Int have their benefits for a bard and it’s just up to which one you value more) 

4. Strength (Prince is a lot of things, but a frontliner is one you’d have to make a compelling argument for)

What That Gets You

Hit Dice: 

1d8 per level.

Proficiencies: 

Light Armor

Simple Weapons, Hand Crossbows, Longswords, rapiers, shortswords

Three Musical Instruments

Dexterity/Charisma Saving Throws

Any three skills (to reflect the subject of our build I’d choose Persuasion (Cha), Performance(Cha), and Acrobatics(Dex))

(I’d also homebrew a proficiency for exotic weapons because fucking look at this thing and tell me it couldn’t double as a weapon)

For the purpose of this build Prince’s main class is going to be up to level 8 to get some good flavor for it and give us the chance to add two feats

Class Features:

Bardic Inspiration: A bard can create “inspiration” for their party members through song. This is represented by an extra dice that a player can roll and add that value to an attack roll, saving throw, or ability check made within 10 minutes. Because Prince is a level 8 bard his Inspiration dice use a d8, he can give them out a number of times equal to his Charisma modifier, and he regains them on a short or long rest.

Jack of All Trades: A bard can add half their proficiency bonus, rounded down, to an ability check made using any skill that they are not already proficient with, which seems appropriate for a modern renaissance man like Prince.

Song of Rest: During a short res (which are an hour long) players can choose to expend a resource known as a “Hit Die” to regain some health. This ability allows the bard to increase that healing for anyone who chooses to use that feature. Again, because Prince is at level 8 the additional healing uses a d8.

Expertise: A bard can become an expert in two skills that they are already proficient with. Again, to reflect our subject today I’d choose to apply this benefit to Persuasion(Cha) and Performance(Cha).

Mote of Potential (College of Creation): Because our Prince hails from the college of Creation his Bardic Inspiration has additional benefits based on the type of roll it belongs to as well as some cool aesthetic flavor that is very Prince:

Ability Check: The Inspiration creates colorful sparks when used and lets the player roll the Inspiration die a second time, using the roll of their choice.

Attack Roll: The Inspiration creates a thunderous bang and the attack target plus each creature of your choice within a 5-foot radius must make a Constitution saving throw or take additional damage equal to the Inspiration roll.

Saving Throw: A soft musical note hangs in the air and the player using the Inspiration die gains temporary hit points equal to the roll plus Prince’s Charisma modifier. 

Performance of Creation (College of Creation): This is where this class gets fun. Once per long rest (or if you expend a 2nd level or higher spell slot) you can create any nonmagical item within 10 feet of you. The item can be Large or smaller because of Prince’s level. There’s a value limit (160 gold for our purpose), but that leaves a lot of room for interpretation to an imaginative player.

Countercharm: Prince can choose to start a performance that gives all friendly creatures advantage on saving throws against being charmed or frightened.

Animating Performance: This ability lets Prince bring an item that is Large or smaller to life. It must be within 30-feet and be non-magical. It uses the following stat block:

There’s some more minutiae in the restrictions pertaining to how you can use this and how you control the construct, but the gist is that this gives you a friendly construct with some impressive stats which, again, has a lot of uses in combat or out if you apply a little imagination. Furthermore, I feel this is the most “Prince-like” ability out of all of them because if I’m not at least bopping-around a little when Raspberry Beret comes on I. am. fucking. dead.

Okay, that was a lot. I’ve just got a little more to go.

The next thing to touch on is Prince’s... 

✨✨✨SUBCLASS✨✨✨

Prince always had a presence about him that people could describe as “electric” and seemed to wield it with an innate elegance. For that reason I felt like Prince should have a dip into some Sorcerer levels (3 total, to get him access to metamagic and bring him to a total level of 11). Sorcerers also cast using Charisma as their attribute so it synergizes well with a Bardic main class.

Just like with his mainclass this brought up the question of WHAT TYPE OF SORCERER, but the answer here is a lot more obvious.

While researching subclasses I pulled up the Storm Sorceror and while this build isn’t necessarily the strongest for a main class it fits in perfectly for the concept we’re going for here. I’ll transcribe the bit that sold me directly.

“Your innate magic comes from the power of elemental air. Many with this power can trace their magic back to a near-death experience caused by the Great [in this case Purple] Rain.”

I dare someone to find a better fit for this idea.

There’s a lot less to go over here but this brings us to...

What That Gets You

Hit Dice:

1d6 per level

Proficiencies:

Nothing you didn’t already get from the Bard

Class Features

Wind Speaker (Storm Sorcery): Gain fluency in Primordial, letting you speak, read, write the language and its dialects (Aquan, Auran, Ignan, Terran).

Tempestuous Magic (Storm Sorcery): As a bonus action before or after you cast a spell of 1st level or higher Prince can summon elemental air which gives him the ability to fly for 10ft in any direction without triggering any attacks of opportunity. I’ve seen other DMs downplay this ability because it’s not great as just a method of movement, but I think people miss that this is EXACTLY the type of ability you want for a more spellcasting focused character. It gives you a little extra maneuverability without giving your opponents any free attacks and makes you VERY hard to pin down. Coupled with an Eladrin’s Fey Step ability makes for a spellcaster who’s not shit out of luck when an enemy frontliner gets close.

Font of Magic: This feature gives two sorcery points automatically, which scales to a number equal to your sorcerer level. It also allows Prince to convert sorcery points into spell slots and spell slots into sorcery points using the following table with the drawback being that you can never have more sorcery points than your sorcerer level. Alternatively, sorcery points restore on a long rest.

Metamagic: This is the big one for Sorcerers. When you obtain this feature you choose two metamagic skills and, using your sorcery points, you can activate them to augment your spells in various ways. For the Prince build I would recommend the following skills:

Heightened Spell: Several of the spells I’m going to share for this build involve a saving throw and this feature lets you give one target disadvantage on its saving throw. It’s expensive with a cost of 3 sorcery points, but it’s useful.

Twinned Spell: Any spell that targets only one creature other than yourself can be twinned by spending sorcery points equal to that spell’s level. Several of the spells for this build fit this build and are a low enough level that this option could be used at least twice before needing to restore sorcery points. 

Spellcasting

Both Bards and Sorcerers choose which spells they learn as they level up with the option of switching out one spell known when they level up. To fit Prince’s aesthetic I chose spells that focus on charming/hypnotizing targets or spells that deal thunder damage, which is 5th edition’s name for “sonic” damage.

I won’t give a description of each spell because I also feel like the chosen spells could vary depending on how a player wanted to use this build. These are just my personal choices and really a suggestion more than anything.

Cantrips: 

Thunderclap

Dancing Lights

Vicious Mockery

Gust

Mind Sliver

Prestidigitation

Message

1st-Level:

Unearthly Chorus

Thunderwave

Silvery Barbs

Command

Charm Person

Disguise Self

Shield

2nd-level:

Mirror Image

Suggestion

Shatter

Hold Person

3rd-level:

Hypnotic Patter

Clairvoyance

4th-Level:

Polymorph

Charm Monster

Last but not least: FEATS

At 4th and 8th level a player has the chance to either increase their ability scores or take feats. I am SO heavily predisposed to taking feats it’s not even funny. So for this build I’ve chosen two feats instead of the ASI bonuses.

4th Level Feat:

Fey Touched: This feat leans into that otherworldly quality we talked about earlier. Because of the characters affinity for the world of the fae they gain some additional bonuses to their build. This is a “half feat” that lets you buff one of your abilities as well as gives you an effect, in this case Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma by 1 (we’d probably want to buff Charisma) and you learn the Misty Step spell, which is another buff to Prince’s maneuverability in combat or out, as well as a 1st-level spell from the divination or enchantment schools. For this build it’s a toss up between learning the spell Bless (if you wanna buff allies) or Hex (if you wanna buff your own damage). It’s important to note that this feat lets you cast either spell once for free per long rest, but it explicitly states that you LEARN these spells meaning that even after that free casting you can choose to use a regular spell slot to cast them again. 

8th Level Feat:

Actor: This allows you to increase your Charisma by 1, gives advantage on all Deception and Performance checks when trying to pass yourself off as someone else, and you can mimic the speech of another person or animal sounds. All in all, not super valuable, but it fits our theme really well.

And that’s my take on Prince as a DnD character. An incredible musician, a man of strong presence, and an inspiration to many.

Making unique and creative builds around a theme is actually something I greatly love to do, so if anyone has any suggestions for something they’d like to see or get my take on I’d love to hear it.

Happy Gaming

[hurremsultanns]

Poison is Queen: What Made Livia such a Fantastic Villain in I Claudius (1976)

(TW: Mentions of sexual assault and incest)

The miniseries I Claudius (1976) took the historical figure of Livia and her portrayal in Roman histories (by authors such as Tacitus, Suetonius and Cassius Dio) and how Graves adapted that for a novel and then turned her into a charismatic, well written, entertaining and memorable soap opera villainess. She is one of the most memorable characters on the show due to how she is written and acted. Personally, she’s my favourite character on the show, even though I sympathise more with other characters. She was the smartest character on the show and someone who always achieved her goal, she embodies the show’s dark humour, and she straddles the line between a pure evil and a complex evil villain without losing character consistency. Overall, she is a well-rounded and well-written character

One of the most important reasons why she was such a villain was how intelligent and effective she was. The best example of this can be seen in how she killed Augustus in Episode 4 (Poison is Queen). In this the show takes for its inspiration an accusation that Cassius Dio made of Livia. According to this story, Augustus refused to eat any food that anyone else had prepared. Therefore, in order to poison him Livia painted the poison onto the figs on a tree that he would pick himself. Even though though this owes itself to historical sources written decades after the events they describe (and is apocryphal), it is an incredibly creative and clever method of killing someone. In addition to this, she clearly embodies patience and uses time to her advantage in order to get what she was. Not only can this be seen in the Prophetic Chickens speech in episode 1 (which is a brilliant introduction to her strategic insights and political awareness, as she could see how things were eventually going to turn out, gambled and patiently waited in order to see the results of her decisions take their course) how she waits for the right moment to kill people (such as Agrippa and Augustus), but Siân Phillips herself discusses it in her interview in I Claudius: A Television Epic. She may not achieve her goals quickly, but she succeeds in the end. Her strategy is the definition of playing the long game. And using her brilliant foresight and strategic political abilities, she accomplishes what she sets out to extremely well. She played a risky game, but ultimately for better or worse Tiberius did become emperor, the Republic never returned and she was eventually deified by Claudius. And even though there are implications that the corruption that the choices she makes brings risk destroying the empire and will bring about the fall of Rome, ultimately the final word on this is said at the end of the final episode (Old King Log) by the Sibyl to the dying Claudius. She says that there will be many emperors in the future and they “won’t all be a bad lot”. This, and Livia’s argument that keeping the Republic would have doomed Rome contribute to the possible argument that ultimately while what she did was unethical and immoral, in a sense Livia was right at the end of the day. It is certainly unclear whether or not she doomed Rome or saved it. There are obvious pitfalls of this, however. It is important to acknowledge imperialism, monarchy and dictatorship are deeply flawed political systems. Of course, because they are examples of absolute power, corruption and the abuse of power tend to be at their very core. And this also reinforces the misogyny of Graves’ original book because it shifts the blame from Augustus being responsible for the political decisions which he took that allowed him to set himself up as the answer to the crisis of the late Republic and the slow accumulation of more absolute power in the hands of individual strongmen. Although, these problems don’t in my opinion take away from the way in which Livia is set up to have far more political savvy than the men around her, as she is the character who sees the clearest how the winds of history are blowing. This makes her a compelling character because it makes her truly awesome: her methods are terrifying, but her intelligence and her effectiveness are impressive.

In addition to this, she embodies the link which the show makes between its most horrific moments and it’s funniest moments. This is contributed to by the employment of dry humour and dramatic irony in her dialogue. One of my favourite examples of this is when Marcellus telling her that cooking his food for him personally is a good thing for her to do and she replies that “Goodness has nothing to do with it.” This is a good example of how well the show used dramatic irony, especially in respect to Livia. While Marcellus thinks that she is simply doing something kind but smothering for him, both she and the audience understand that there is more to this (i.e. she’s going to poison him in order to free up Julia in order to marry Tiberius). Not only is this simultaneously a shocking moment (since as far as the audience is concerned she has practically admitted what she’s going to do, even though Marcellus is unaware of what she meant), but the fact that this is hidden behind what would otherwise appear to be a kind but empty platitude is both clever and hilarious. This is an important moment because it sets the bar for the dry wit, sarcasm and dramatic irony that often accompany Livia as a character, even in her most horrifying moments. Other examples of this include the “food poisoning” scene between Livia and Musa in the same episode after the death of Marcellus, the “don’t touch the figs” scene, and her brilliantly hilarious speech to the gladiators. Not only does this add to the characterisation of her intelligence, but it also adds to the entertainment quality of her as a character. As villainous and evil as she is, she is also genuinely entertaining and fun to watch, which makes her show version so enjoyable to watch and memorable in comparison with the version of her character in the book (This is a comment that other fans of the series, including Prof. Mary Beard herself, have made and I fully agree with it). By contrast, in the book, there is often very little ambiguity as to what Livia’s schemes and activities are, and there is very little dialogue. This means that one of the things that show!Livia is most memorable for, her one liners, were added in Pulman’s script, and they make for a far better character than book!Livia. Through the dramatic irony, we get a far better sense of her intelligence because the audience has to work out on our own what she has done before it is confirmed (which adds to the perception of her intelligence as we have to think it through for ourselves) and that and her humorous moments make her a far more enjoyable character than her book counterpart. Therefore the dramatic irony and humour that characterise Livia as a character make her a great villain because they make her more memorable than she otherwise could have been.

She goes between being a pure evil villain and a complex villain, although this is never made to feel contradictory as it is completely within her established character. She is perfectly willing to the lengths of murdering Augustus’ heirs and disappearing other people in order to get her way, but when she finds out how bad Tiberius has become and Caligula is, she calls their behaviour “disgusting” and refers to Caligula as a “monster”. Since their villainous actions are so different from what Livia does. She’s OK with herself murdering people in order to get what she wants, but she draws the line at incest, sexual harassment and assault. This also works well because it highlights her self-serving narrative: that she is doing everything for the good of Rome. Which is even emphasised by her outrage at finding out what happened to Lollia. She does not want to admit her role in turning TIberius evil by separating him from Vipsania (forcing him to divorce her and marry Julia, the original Disaster Marriage) and Drusus (by murdering him when he was injured, the one thing she can’t admit to Claudius), his two anchors. In episode 1 when he is speaking to Drusus, Tiberius says that they are the only two people whom he loves and describes his brother as his “lifeline into the light”. Therefore, by murdering Drusus and also forcing Tiberius to divorce Vipsania, Livia has a role in turning him into the evil person he becomes later on, and her outrage could be interpreted as a way to avoid the consequences that her toxic behaviour has had. I am not saying that she is responsible for his actions (that’s all on him), but she is responsible for turning him into the type of person who would do them, and that this is a fact that she conveniently ignores as a part of her self-serving narrative. While in some ways she is willing to revel  in evil, there are things that she cannot bring herself to admit to. So she both has the motivations of a complex villain and the entertainment value of a pure evil villain, and this works flawlessly.

What makes Livia such a great villain is that she is such a well-rounded and intelligent character.This can be seen in the characterisation of her intelligence, the humour that accompanies her and the way in which her depth as a character does not diminish her evil. She is a more interesting, entertaining and enjoyable character than her counterpart in Graves’ original book at least in part due to these reasons.

[ardentaislinn]

Yuletide Letter 2020

Hi! I am also ardentaislinn on AO3. Thank you so much for volunteering to write one of my chosen fandoms! I really can’t wait to see what you come up with. Most importantly, I hope you have fun writing whichever of my fandoms it is. Any suggestions I make here are optional.

Here you’ll find:

My general likes

My DNWs

And prompts for the following fandoms:

Peninsula: Train to Busan 2 (2020) - Jung Seok, Min Jung, Joon Yi, Yoo Jin

Stranger | 비밀의 숲 - Hwang Si Mok, Han Yeo Jin

Kingdom | 킹덤 - Prince Lee Chang, Seo Bi

Illang: The Wolf Brigade | 인랑 (2018) - Im Joong Kyung, Lee Yoon Hee | Kim Seo Hee

A quick note on the Korean names - I’m fine with however you choose to transliterate them. Hyphen/no hyphen, Shi Mok/Si Mok, etc. Just do what you are comfortable with and I’ll adjust no problem. No need to add the honourifics, though

My likes:

I love getting together fics most of all. I love almost every kind of trope (fake dating, slow burn, rivals-to-lovers, “unrequited” pining (that is really requited), found families, etc.) Also, casefic, epistolary fic, consent, forbidden pleasures, beta heroes, bed sharing, masquerades, military kink, physical imperfections, ladies being badass and female relationships (whether romantic or friendship), relationships that build tension before exploding, equal relationships, trapped together, competence, communication, U/RST, positive endings.

You may notice from the below that my ships mostly involve sweet and occasionally broken men being head over heels for awesome ladies, (and usually not feeling worthy). So that dynamic is strongly encouraged.

I also like smut, but it certainly isn’t a necessity. For smut, I’m (sadly) fairly vanilla. But I like light bondage, cunnilingus, shower sex, and accidental/consensual voyeurism, (Particularly guys taking matters into their own hands when they think they can’t be with their lady, and the woman stumbling across him mid-act. Possibly my favourite kink ever? Writer’s choice whether the woman joins in or gets embarrassed)

Happy endings (or at least hopeful endings) are preferred. Like, super, super preferred. I don’t mind angst at all, but it kinda has to be on the way out of the darkness by the end.

Dislikes/DNWs:

Miserable endings. Major character death. Baby/Pregnancy fic. Humiliation. Drug use/drug mentions/addiction. Self harm/abuse. Non-con/rape. Heavy kink. A/B/O. M-Preg. Incest. Bestiality, animal harm etc. Underage sexual content. 1st person POV (unless for epistolary). Not big on high school AUs or Rock band AUs. Unbalanced power dynamics in ships without acknowledging/exploring that. (This effects one particular ship below, which I’ll discuss in more detail in the fandom section).

I think that’s it?

And so, to the fandoms, in no particular order:

Peninsula: Train to Busan 2

Jung Seok, Min Jung, Joon Yi, Yoo Jin

While maybe objectively not as good a film as the first one, I still enjoyed the hell out of it. Given that it was essentially a cross between Escape From New York and Mad Max, what isn’t to love? I loved the expansion of the world and the clever uses of zombies in the chase scenes. And I loved that the message was that being logical and self-sacrificing isn’t always the right choice - sometimes you should be driven by heart and empathy. And I really liked the idea that anything can mean happiness when you love and are loved in return - particularly in regards to Joon Yi, but also Jung Seok (and his found family?).

What would interest me the most in this fandom is post-movie fics. But if you wanna do a canon divergent/au thing, I’d be cool with that, too. Some prompts:

Joon Yi struggles a lot more than her sister to readjust to a “normal” life

In order to stay together after being rescued, Jung Seok and Min Jung have to pretend to be married

After four long years of loneliness, Min Jung just wants to be touched

Jung Seok isn’t surprised to find himself in love with Min Jung - and wanting to be a father to her girls - but is he good enough for them? He’s left them behind once - can he forgive himself? Can Min Jung?

The zombie plague escapes from Korea - and Jung Seok, Min Jung, and her girls are the closest thing to experts on how to fight back and contain it that the authorities have. Will their nightmare never be over? Or is this a chance to end it once and for all?

With Min Jung in hospital while her leg heals, Jung Seok suddenly finds himself a surrogate father to two very unruly girls.

Stranger | 비밀의 숲

Han Yeo Jin, Hwang Si Mok

This show is just so good, and Si Mok and Yeo Jin - and their relationship - is a big part of that. He’s logical and doesn’t feel things the way most other people do, but that doesn’t mean he’s given a free pass to be an asshole. He’s a good man who always does what’s right. And Yeo Jin is just as smart as he is, and equally committed to doing what’s right, but in a different way. They make a perfect team.

I love how much they absolutely, completely, trust and respect each other. Si Mok cares about her as much as he is capable - probably more so than he cares about anyone else. There isn’t any drama or jealousy or anything like that in their relationship. They are both practical adults. But it doesn’t mean they don’t have a deep bond. I do ship these two - and would love getting together fic if you can!

Prompts:

Yeo Jin will probably have a tough time of it from now on. How will Si Mok support her through it?

How will Yeo Jin and Si Mok keep in touch now that he’s moved away again? Late night phone calls that slowly become more intimate? Texts or emails (epistolary style)?

In the last episode, there was a hint that Si Mok had a prophetic dream. What if he really did develop a power? And Yeo Jin was the only one he trusted with the truth?

What if Yeo Jin and Si Mok had to travel somewhere for an investigation - and there’s only one bed…

Si Mok isn’t incapable of noticing when a woman is attracted to him. But what if that woman is Yeo Jin? Do they try to make a friends-with-benefits arrangement work? Or do they like each other two much for that?

Everyone already knows Yeo Jin and Si Mok are close - but why do their friends suddenly think they are dating? What’s changed? And how do they stop the rumours - without disappointing all the friends who were hoping they’d finally become a couple?

Yeo Jin had drunk one too many shots of soju and thought she might never see Si Mok again - so she’d jumped his bones and snuck out before he woke, full of regrets. But what happens now they have to work a case together again?

Feel free to bring in the other characters, too, as long as Yeo Jin and Si Mok remain the focus! I love the various dynamics they have with the people around them.

Kingdom | 킹덤

Prince Lee Chang, Seo Bi

Like with Si Mok and Yeo Jin above, so much of what I like about these two is that they are great characters separately - but work so well together as a team. They trust each other. He has great faith in her abilities and respects her so much. And she is loyal to him and respects him in return because she knows he’s a good man and a good leader.

I also love how the show uses both politics and horror elements, both to best advantage. It’s so well-written and compelling.

Now, I can see how this ship skirts close to my “no unbalanced power differentials in relationships” DNW, since he’s a prince, and she’s very much not royalty, so I thought I would clarify my position on this. I would most like fic set after he gives up his place in the royal family, since I think that mitigates basically all the issues. Even though I don’t think he would have intentionally abused his power over her, and Seo Bi was never particularly deferential to him, it still would have effected the relationship. Now that they are on more equal footing, there may be some lingering, residual issues surrounding this, but I feel like it’s at the level of bringing some interesting angst into the equation without feeling icky, if that makes sense.

Prompts:

Lee Chang and Seo Bi are somehow transported into modern day Korea. How will they adapt?

Both Lee Chang and Seo Bi have seen horrifying things - and they have the nightmares to prove it. How do they help each other through?

I feel like there are a million stories you could tell within the time jump at the end of the second season. Seo Bi and Lee Chang are travelling together, but no doubt keeping their mission to find the resurrection plant a secret. Are they pretending to be married? Is there anything Lee Chang has to adjust to now that he’s no longer, technically, the crown prince? How are they making money? Is Seo Bi hiring out her medicinal knowledge, while Lee Chang sells his sword? How far will they go to find the answers they seek?

The properties of the resurrection plant are still largely unknown. What horrors will they have to face next, now that another outbreak is looming? 

Lee Chang decides that Seo Bi needs formal fight training - and takes it upon himself to teach her.

What moments of levity can they find together amongst the horrors?

Lee Chang knows he shouldn’t think of Seo Bi in that way - they are colleagues, and despite everything he is still from a royal family. He needs her too much to risk everything because of his desire. But oh, how he wants her…

Illang: The Wolf Brigade | 인랑 (2018)

Im Joong Kyung, Lee Yoon Hee | Kim Seo Hee

So much about this movie is absolutely my jam. The action scenes, the exploration of what desperation can drive people to, the unclear loyalties that are slowly revealed. That whole sequence when they first meet and spend time together is like a distillation of so many of my favourite things. He sees her and is just instantly gone on her. And she for him. And from then on it’s just a quiet, intense longing between them. They are so aware of each other, every sense drawn towards the other. But he’s so broken, and he sees himself as more animal than man. And it’s revealed that she has equally deep wounds, too.

An argument can be made that at least some of it was an act, of course. They were both trying to deceive each other after all. But I think it’s pretty obvious that there were real feelings there, particularly because she tries to warn him that he’s walking into a trap, and he comes back to save her. Maybe even they don’t know how deep their feelings go, or the other’s feelings, but the audience knows.

And yet...I’ve seen it twice now, and the ending is still no clearer to me. Like, is he dead? It doesn’t seem like it, since both she and her brother saw him at the train station. But maybe he’s like a guardian angel now? And if he’s not dead, where did the shot come from? A hidden gun? The sniper? And most importantly of all, if he’s not dead...why aren’t they together??? Like, aren’t all the potential impediments to their relationship gone by that point?

So, I guess most of all I would like fic that makes more sense than that ending - preferably by giving them the happy ending they deserve.

Prompts:

Joong Kyung watches over Yoon Hee from the shadows - but she always knows he’s there. How can she convince him to come into the light, and back into her life?

Yoon Hee’s brother gets himself into trouble, and the only person she can turn to for help is a man she hasn’t seen in too long - Joong Kyung.

Joong Kyung now walks the line between the living and the dead, but he can’t stay away from Yoon Hee. (Paranormal/magic AU?)

Has there been too many lies between them to make a relationship work? Neither think they are worthy of the other, but when they are pulled back together (to give evidence for an official inquiry?) they can’t quite keep their distance.

Joong Kyung is on the run, and he doesn’t know who to trust - except the one woman he’s never forgotten.

Misunderstandings and lies abound between them - but what happens when they are trapped together and must wait for rescue?

If you don’t want to do a post-canon fic, how about canon divergence? What would have happened if the phone hadn’t rung in that warehouse at that moment? Might Yoon Hee have told herself that she could use her body to prove her loyalty to him? And might Joong Kyung have told himself that it couldn’t hurt to succumb - that it didn’t mean anything?

I think that’s everything. Thank you so much!

[ucflibrary]

Every October UCF celebrates Diversity Week and for 2020 it runs from October 19 – 23. The theme is Stronger Together: Unified! Connected! Family! This highlights how together we can make UCF and the surrounding community stronger and more connected with each other.  

One of the fantastic things about UCF is the wide range of cultures and ethnicities of our students, staff, and faculty. We come from all over. We’re just as proud of where we are from as we are of where we are now and where we will be heading in future. 

UCF Libraries is offering a full calendar of virtual Diversity Week activities from family friendly crafts to talks by area experts and film discussions. Don’t miss out on our community showcase which features UCF alumni and faculty and how they support the Knight community. We even have digital puzzles and downloadable coloring pages. And you can also add your voice to the 2020 UCF story by participating in our digital time capsule. To learn about the upcoming events visit: guides.ucf.edu/diversityweek 

Join the UCF Libraries as we celebrate diverse voices and subjects with these suggestions. Click on the link below to see the full list, descriptions, and catalog links for the featured UCF Celebrates Diversity titles suggested by UCF Library employees. These and additional books are on display in the new 4th floor Reading Room.

And thank you to every Knight who works to help others feel accepted and included at UCF!

 A Faithful Reading Partner: a story from a Hakka village by SuHua Huang A welcome addition to dual language literature, the story is about growing up among the Hakka people in Taiwan. In order to succeed, it is important for children to have a reading partner. But in this case, it is a dog with which the children develop deep friendships as they share their books with him. A sub-current to the main story is one of being a minority within a minority and success, which though longed for, inevitably contains sadness wrapped within its joy. Presented to UCF Libraries by the Chinese American Community in Orlando. Suggested by Sai Deng, Acquisitions & Collection Services

 Discrimination and Disparities by Thomas Sowell Challenges believers in such one-factor explanations of economic outcome differences as discrimination, exploitation or genetics. It offers its own new analysis, based on an entirely different approach--and backed up with empirical evidence from around the world. The point is not to recommend some particular policy "fix", but to clarify why so many policy fixes have turned out to be counterproductive, and to expose some seemingly invincible fallacies behind many of those policies Suggested by Cynthia Kisby, Administration

 Equality and Diversity: phenomenological investigations of prejudice and discrimination by Michael D. Barber Examples of prejudice against Jews, women, African Americans, and other minority groups are reported almost daily by the media. Despite educational programs to counteract prejudicial attitudes, this seemingly intractable problem remains an ongoing concern, not only in the United States but throughout the world. It is an interesting and often overlooked fact that the subject of prejudice has been the focus of major works by three prominent philosophers in the phenomenological tradition, works that still offer many insights into contemporary attempts to understand this social problem. Michael Barber examines this striking convergence of interests by these three philosophers and explores the significance of phenomenology for analyzing prejudice as expressed in anti-Semitism, sexism, and racism. Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services

 Hacking Diversity: the politics of inclusion in open technology cultures by Christina Dunbar-Hester We regularly read and hear exhortations for women to take up positions in STEM. The call comes from both government and private corporate circles, and it also emanates from enthusiasts for free and open source software (FOSS), i.e. software that anyone is free to use, copy, study, and change in any way. Ironically, rate of participation in FOSS-related work is far lower than in other areas of computing. A 2002 European Union study showed that fewer than 2 percent of software developers in the FOSS world were women. This book is an ethnographic investigation of efforts to improve the diversity in software and hackerspace communities, with particular attention paid to gender diversity advocacy. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 Mothers Work: confronting the Mommy Wars, raising children, and working for social change by Michelle Napierski-Prancl Through a series of focus group interviews and an analysis of the media and popular culture, Napierski-Prancl explores the institution of motherhood and the arenas in which mothering occurs while analyzing how mothers feel about themselves, each other, and the culture that situates them against one another. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 On the Freedom Side: how five decades of youth activists have remixed American history by Wesley C. Hogan As Wesley C. Hogan sees it, the future of democracy belongs to young people. While today's generation of leaders confronts a daunting array of existential challenges, increasingly it is young people in the United States and around the world who are finding new ways of belonging, collaboration, and survival. That reality forms the backbone of this book, as Hogan documents and assesses young people's interventions in the American fight for democracy and its ideals. As Hogan reveals, the the civil rights movement has often been carried forward by young people at the margins of power and wealth in U.S. society. This book foregrounds their voices and gathers their inventions--not in a comprehensive survey, but as an activist mix tape--with lively, fresh perspectives on the promise of twenty-first-century U.S. democracy. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 Pippa Park Raises Her Game by Erin Yun Life is full of great expectations for Korean American Pippa Park. It seems like everyone, from her family to the other kids at school, has a plan for how her life should look. So when Pippa gets a mysterious basketball scholarship to Lakeview Private, she jumps at the chance to reinvent herself by following the "Rules of Cool." At Lakeview, Pippa juggles old and new friends, an unrequited crush, and the pressure to perform academically and athletically while keeping her past and her family's laundromat a secret from her elite new classmates. But when Pippa begins to receive a string of hateful, anonymous messages via social media, her carefully built persona is threatened. As things begin to spiral out of control, Pippa discovers the real reason she was admitted to Lakeview and wonders if she can keep her old and new lives separate, or if she should even try. Presented to UCF Libraries by the Chinese American Community in Orlando. Suggested by Sai Deng, Acquisitions & Collection Services

 Sexuality, Equality, and Diversity by Diane Richardson and Surya Monro Investigating the dynamics of identity and sexual citizenship in a changing world, this compelling text explores key debates around human rights and representation, policy and resistance. Incorporating theory with original research, this is a thought-provoking insight into sexuality and diversity in a global age. Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services

 Shame: how America's past sins have polarized our country by Shelby Steele Part memoir and part meditation on the failed efforts to achieve racial equality in Americathis work advances Shelby Steele's provocative argument that "new liberalism" has done more harm than good. Since the 1960s, overt racism against blacks is almost universally condemned, so much so that racism is no longer, by itself, a prohibitive barrier to black advancement. But African Americans remain at a disadvantage in American society, and Steele lays the blame at the feet of white liberals. According to Steele, liberals have refused to acknowledge the country's progress over the past 50 years, in part because their notions of white guilt and black victimization help preserve their position of power over blacks. Suggested by Cynthia Kisby, Administration

 The Boy Who Became a Dragon: a Bruce Lee story by Jim Di Bartolo This book presents a biography of the martial arts legend, describing his childhood in Hong Kong and how it was shaped by World War II, and his success as an international star. Presented to UCF Libraries by the Chinese American Community in Orlando. Suggested by Sai Deng, Acquisitions & Collection Services

 This Promise of Change: one girl's story in the fight for school equality by Jo Ann Allen Boyce and Debbie Levy In 1956, one year before federal troops escorted the Little Rock 9 into Central High School, fourteen year old Jo Ann Allen was one of twelve African-American students who broke the color barrier and integrated Clinton High School in Tennessee. At first things went smoothly for the Clinton 12, but then outside agitators interfered, pitting the townspeople against one another. Uneasiness turned into anger, and even the Clinton Twelve themselves wondered if the easier thing to do would be to go back to their old school. This is the heartbreaking and relatable story of her four months thrust into the national spotlight and as a trailblazer in history. Suggested by Ven Basco, Research & Information Services

 We Rise, We Resist, We Raise Our Voices edited by Wade Hudson and Cheryl Willis Hudson What do we tell our children when the world seems bleak, and prejudice and racism run rampant? With 96 lavishly designed pages of original art, poetry, and prose, fifty diverse creators lend voice and comfort to young activists. Suggested by Ven Basco, Research & Information Services

[laylacooke]

A Compelling Argument || Orobas & Layla ft. Ulf

timing: Saturday morning (6/20) before Lucas’ & Layla’s Party parties: @eldonash & @laylacooke ft. Ulf (mentioned) summary: Orobas helps Layla get ready for her party. warnings: Mentions of being tied up, injury, and being compelled. 

With dried blood staining her face and red hair, Layla groggily shifted in the chair she was tied to. Her head was pounding immensely, but somehow, she had forced herself to open up heavy, tired eyes. It took her a moment before she realized where she was at, and when she did, the look of confusion turned to anger, “What am I doing here?” Looking around, no one seemed to be in sight, and it angered her. “LET ME GO!” With her mind automatically shifting to escape mode, Layla tried to pull her hands free, but was met with chains around her wrists binding her to the last place she wanted to be; back in Ari and Ulf’s trailer.

Orobas’ mood had greatly soured. He stood there dressed in his best suit, his expression dark, gray under his eyes, and looked beyond exhausted even for an undead. He had been numb for the last three days, unable to feel anything physically, and his emotions were quiet making him seem indifferent. When she screamed, he stepped into the room silently, looking stoic and monstrous with the lack of blood in his systems tonight. “Tsk--” he clicked his tongue. “We really should have hosed you off--” He voice held no emotion to it, unblinking looking at her still as a statue came alive. “Let me ask you, Layla,” he stepped forward, a charm settled in his tone, almost undetectable, but held power. “Are you fighting this magic?”

Orabas had been the last person Layla had expected to see. He had promised her a birthday present, but this clearly couldn’t have been it. Or was it? Had he been working with Ulfric and Ariana this whole time? Her glare was cold, and if he wasn’t already dead, she was pretty sure it would have killed him, “What are you doing here? Were you working with them the entire time?” She looked around and started to rattle the chains and chair even more, until a sharp pain ran up her leg from where Ariana’s claws had dug into skin and muscle; fresh blood starting to seep from the wound. The pain forcing her to stop moving, she noticed as the vampire now stood closer to her, “What magic? What are you talking about?”

Orobas watched her, noting the details of her injuries, and her accusations didn’t stir a reaction, his features restless. The pain that paused her struggles allowed him to speak more. “I want to tell you a small story. Over two hundred years ago, I met a werewolf who had a fierce bite, and a loud laugh, and we connected when we saved a young little girl with flaming red hair. I dared to call him a friend, I watched him raise this pup, I saw him grow old. I endured the loss as his bones ignited in flames upon a boat in the river.” He walked forward; eyes dipped in red. “You see, immortality brings repeated occurrences. Like life enjoys seeing you go through things again. Here you are, a child--” He cut himself off, gaze distant like he was thinking deeply. “What I am here for almost doesn’t feel like it is for you.” The words were heavy, and he stepped forward again. “This magic, it has compelled you to lose something of yours. Have you felt different? What I need to know is if you are still present beyond it. Explain to me how you feel right now.” 

Layla’s injuries had left her weaker than she would have preferred, and she knew there was no use in trying to shift. Instead, she listened as he spoke. And that small bit of her heart ignited. It was a very small piece. Nothing that would be noticeable, if he hadn’t been inquiring about it. And while every piece of the darkness of her mind tried to persuade her to force back that hairline crack in the suffocating armor around her heart, she spoke out of some small sense of retaliation, “I feel angry that Frankie, Ariana, Simon, and Ulfric won’t just let me be. That people can’t accept what I’ve done for them. I feel like if I let that part of myself back in, I’ll crumble, and who wants to see me fall and crumble, yet again?” As she spoke tears quietly crept down her cheeks from the anger and frustration. Even though it resulted in a pretty nasty injury for Ariana, her small act of nearly crushing the fidget spinner had made a difference. But for Layla, it felt like the quiet voices of a slow forming rebellion starting in soul; and that was something she was battling to keep suppressed, if not for anyone else but for her own pride and determination to prove she was anything but a weakling. 

Orobas’ gaze lingered on the tears, the swell of emotion, and the admittance of truth. Seeing anyone crumble over and over was pleasurable to watch, and something he wished even now he could enjoy if he wasn’t suffocated in the haze of his own tormented situation. In an awful way, Orobas could hear between the lines, knowing how to get anyone to that broken point with ease required him to listen, and it allowed him to know what she was really saying. He reached out and touched her damp cheek with the lightest of touch, smearing it into blood splatter-- “You know, you probably always felt this way and you suppressed it. You see, when you are not your entire self, when you swallow down things. It sits in your stomach, souring it. Eventually, it comes out. Doesn’t mean you won’t crumble again when this is over, you will-- I’ll even encourage it. No need to be ashamed. You should speak your mind more; those people should see and be proud of the things you do. Don’t you think?” Orobas was so tempted on many fronts. 

That part of Layla that had broken, and was apparent in her words, was being forced back down as Orobas spoke. She couldn’t give in. She had hypnotized herself not to be the same person she once was. And with a growl, she fiercely jerked her head away from his soft touch, “No! I did this to be strong. I was born from greatness and bitten from greatness, and once I get free from these changes, the world’s going to see that. Don’t you understand? Even you have a power that people would give anything to have. Humans fear you. They don’t underestimate you. And they don’t think you’re some stupid child begging for attention.” In all honesty, all she had been doing the whole week was acting out. She was a walking contradiction looking for greatness in all the wrong places, when she had already had it all along. But until the hypnosis was broken, she would continue to force down that little part of her true self that was trying to breathe again. That little part of her that would be the return of her humanity if it could just escape, “So why are you here? Ulfric feeling too guilty for smashing a rock over my head, that he needed to call a babysitter?”

The hand with a gentle touch morphed quickly. Orobas grabbed her jaw, his hand large, and imposing, the plated bones, muscles, and tendons under its grasp creaked from the strength he just barely held back. As if with one fraction more, her entire skull would shatter. “Humans-- mean, nothing. Fear me? You think that has been my goal over the centuries? My desires? Do you know my story? Do you know who I am.” His gripped steadied. “You small thing-- you lack experience. Even in this state, you cry for attention.” He leaned forward, fangs subtly pointed, eyes molten red consuming the white looking far from human. “I’m here for him.” The four words seemed to come with vibrations of sound, the fluttering of wings, and the unseen energy of his abilities. Looking her in the eyes, his command true, and forceful. “Whatever piece of yourself that you have suppressed with this magical artifact. You will allow it forward of mind, to reverse the effects.” He leaned forward, pressing his lips to her ear so only they could hear. “And you will owe me a favor. You refuse-- I will drown you in the lake.” 

Even under the influence of the fidget spinner, seeing the vampire’s change in demeanor startled her. The way he gripped her jaw made her feel like he was surely going to crush it and add to the list of injuries she had received this week. She was unable to speak. Unable to defend herself. And before she could even begin to look away, she felt herself drawn into his gaze, much like the fidget spinner had taken her. His suggestions echoed in her brain, and even the fidget spinner couldn’t ward off the effect his words had on her; the last part embedding itself deep inside and sending a chill down her spine. Blinking a few times, Layla looked around. It was like she was free from the effects of the fidget spinner; at least for a short amount of time, but there was a burning in the back of her mind. That told her what she was feeling was wrong, and that this wasn’t what she was supposed to be. However, Orobas’ words had won out, and Layla felt almost normal again, “What-Where am I?” Her eyes looking around only to come back to him and the grip he had on her made her cower in fear; much like the first day she had met him.

Orobas released her and broke the chains on her wrists. Not sure how long such a thing could last when the magic seemed strong and bound to itself in nature. Even a compulsion had its limits when battling someone’s natural instincts. He’s seen it many times over, with the dolls at the lake, and with people not wanting to hurt their loved ones. Orobas made a soft noise in his throat in answer and walked out. Striding through the door and passed Ulfric without a single word muttered. Though a glance, one of challenge towards the man he wanted to consider and friend but was doubting with recent developments in his life. His expression was distant, and not exposing his inner feelings, but it was impossible not to feel the chilly vibe off of the vampire. He got in his Porsche and drove away. 

Layla was confused. Everything about the moment she was in seemed wrong. Why had she been chained? What had she done that was so wrong? But there was a nagging feeling that just wouldn’t leave her alone. Watching as Orobas left and with Ulf standing in the doorway, she knew that being on her best behavior was adamant. Whatever was hanging over her heart seemed to mask the destruction she had caused all week, and while she knew deep down people weren’t pleased with her, she also knew that she just wanted to be near Frankie, Ari, Simon, and her friends. Slowly climbing out of the chair, she whimpered at the pain in her leg. Dizziness plagued her, but all she wanted was a nap. At least, until it was time to go to a party she had been waiting for all week. A birthday party that she had hoped would make up for the year she had.

[sicklyscribe]

hey so if you wanna hit me with that sweet sweet elijah’s characterization meta anytime please feel free. or direct me to any previous posts because my dumb ass is using this time to re-obsess over vampire melodrama.....

It appears that most of my non-tag and non-petty-casual commentary is still in drafts... so instead of finishing the ‘What the hell is wrong with season 4: an itemized list’ meta and finishing answering the ‘What would you change if you could rewrite any of the show?’ ask from a while ago, I’ll just pick out the Elijah bits and add on to them for garnish. (Those posts might exist at some point. But honestly not soon enough for me to worry about people getting annoyed with copy/paste so PREVIEW TIME: ELIJAH FLAVOR)

This is way sloppier and un-cited than I usually meta, by the way, but what the hell, The Fandom is Dead and I Only Have Friends to Entertain Now, so if anyone gets angry and tries to step into my asks then it’ll just be nostalgic rather than annoying.  Here’s the starter, which is from the F*CK YOU SEASON 4 meta and quite a few of these points will be repeated later because you asked for it technically so.

The cracks in the narrative began to show as early as season two, and believe me when I say I’m not saying this because I love him - it began with Elijah. I can make a lot of arguments to this effect, but the only one that I am certain is not propelled by my very strong bias concerns the presentation of the Red Door.

Initially, I was ecstatic at the opportunity to explore Elijah’s past, his perspective, his darkest moments. I was a bit wary in that it seemed as though the narrative wanted to Explain Everything about Elijah through this device, but he was finally getting some attention so I tried to hold back judgement.The result was pretty promising. One of the most gorgeous moments on the show occurs when Klaus enters Elijah’s mind and tells him how much he needs him. It showcases the main pillar of the show - the structural trifecta of Hope, Klaus, and Elijah. And afterwards, as usual, Elijah pushes the experience away.Until it’s convenient. 

Elijah begins to be erratically vicious. At first, I felt as though it wasn’t handled poorly, I could explain away my worries easily, and that was all I needed. But it happens over, and over, and over again, with the same excuse - protecting the family, protecting Hope. Elijah’s triggers, once so crucial, begin to break down, but we don’t see why or how that process occurs. He begins to be the character that is level-headed when it is convenient, and a violent one-track-mind when it’s convenient. Eventually, in order to maintain balanced tension with a softening Klaus, Elijah became violent without nuance in every situation. His continued development is no longer possible, since his character no longer displays depth.

Which is annoying, as a fan. But as a person who loves to analyze narrative, it’s a huge red flag. Elijah is necessary for this story. His love for Klaus, and Klaus’ relationship with him, is one of the things that holds the narrative together as it goes forward. The two of them need each other in order to experience growth, but cannot grow from each other any longer - and that friction is what provides energy and substance that can help drive a multi-year melodrama. This is why I mentioned above that Elijah’s violence was likely intended to balance with Klaus’ changing heart - but there is no balance in the level of development the two brothers experience. It has been shoddy in many places, but attention has been given to Klaus’ journey towards peace and kindness, while Elijah has been given a single metaphor, a single psychosis, and is expected to carry half of the narrative weight. The story has no choice but to make a plot device out of him - he simply does not have the required depth to be anything else, which is made obvious by the attempt to do so in the ritual to bring Inadu to the material plane, which I will discuss later.

When his development is ignored, when he is used as a tool to get from point A to point B time and time again - that’s when the pillar starts to crumble.

Zooming back in on s1, this was actually my only major structural gripe with season 1, so it comprises the entirety of the ‘what would you change’ for that season:

The poison that rotted the whole dang show started very small — casting Elijah too strongly as a white hat, to offset the darkness of the rest of the main family. This was the right move, of course, but it was pushed a twinge too far and it was the tiny weight that set everything wobbling. As an offshoot of that, this was also done with Hayley to a degree. I would have had them bond very similarly to the way they do in the show, but I would have had them connect at least once over the skeletons in their closets. (Only once or twice, again, since their ship relied in this season on the fallacy of each other being saviors). In fact, this was one I felt so strongly about that I actually did rewrite their scene in 1x07 ‘Bloodletting’.

Then season two when it gets more pronounced: 

The rift in the show widened with the swing-and-miss that was The Red Door arc. Elijah became a Problem when it was convenient for the plot and A Fixer/Sounding Board when it was not. They used probably the most INTERESTING and INTEGRAL part of his characterization -- which had been a mystery for YEARS counting The Vampire Diaries appearances -- and Elijah discovering that either from trauma or his mother’s magic, he has repressed the moments which forged him. This lack of knowledge, this lack of control, should have been something much more cataclysmic and its effects should be clear when comparing ‘Elijah Before’ to ‘Elijah After’. Instead, it kind of served to take off Elijah’s ‘White Hat’ that he’d been illy-fitted with in S1, and allow him to accessorize with it or whatever version of Elijah fits the episode at hand.

This tension, and this chaos should have been much stronger and much more messy than simply putting the Suit back on and being Pretty Much Okay (barring one plot-insignificant diner massacre) only a few episodes later. It would make the therapy scene later with Camille even more gorgeous than it already is and it would then place Elijah’s moment of catharsis, and the beginning of his attempts to move on, with Klaus’ monumental forgiveness in 2x11. I think this is what was intended, but it was not at all achieved, because Elijah is such a tricky character to write, and it is so very easy to use him for whatever the scene requires. Because of this, Elijah’s struggles got dropped just long enough for Klaus’ forgiveness to hit powerfully in viewers for Klaus, but not for Elijah. The writing began to lean on Elijah as a Drama Everyman more and more throughout the show, and it’s just tragic to me that The Red Door wasn’t utilized to its potential. (And that we didn’t have a Klaus/Tatia conversation, but hey, I have an unfinished fixit for that whole saga on Ao3, you’re welcome and I’m sorry).

In season three, we got a few good glimpses of the kind of complexity that Elijah should live in -- the way he kills Arianne, for example, I’ve linked what I called a ‘headcanon’ but in retrospect it was pretty explicitly canon -- and we see the youth and terror and involuntary power in him in the flashback where he discovers that Klaus killed their mother. But the relationship between Tristan and Elijah? The man that he made, and that made him? That was far too pedestrian to have produced either of them. If Elijah learned ‘nobility’ from Tristan, learned what ‘superiority’ looked like, and this was the time that he began to change... we should have had words between them, or a scene highlighting just them, at least once in the flashbacks. 

If this season was supposed to be about the creation of the Trinity, the First Children (because Finn didn’t tell no one that Sage is actually the oldest ‘cuz he’s an ashamed little bitch) why did we see only TWO of the THREE transformations? Klaus turned Lucien accidentally, trying to heal him. Rebekah’s sympathy and love were used as Aurora’s tool to turn herself. When and how did Elijah turn Tristan? It is explained that Elijah turned him in order to create a third vampire for his plot to trick Mikael into chasing them instead -- it is explained that Tristan, Aurora, and Lucien were compelled to believe that they were in fact Elijah, Rebekah, and Klaus in order to make their decoy impeccable. But when this compulsion was shattered -- when Lucien learned that he had been used and made monstrous as a tool for a monster who wasn’t even noble -- did he confront Elijah? Did they ever speak, or was their next meeting the day Elijah learned that Tristan had taken over Elijah’s coven? I would argue that Elijah needed equal weight in the France flashbacks even though he didn’t have a flashy romance (though if early press release rumors were true, he and Tristan could have had one and that would have been perfect) 

Season four is really where you can pick an episode and Elijah will put on the stage makeup and play any part. It’s also -- BIG COINCIDENCE -- where the plot deteriorates completely. Here’s just one example from my Excuse You What the Hell? Season Four meta: 

On to the next moment that showed major neglect (I know this has been Elijah-heavy so far, but again, this is where the problem started so I want to carry this thread through for a while before addressing other issues) - the ritual to bring Inadu to the mortal realm. The purpose of this ritual was to scare viewers with the risk of Hope’s safety and hype the Hollow’s “bad”ness, but also to make the first move in the ‘Letting Go’ thread between Hayley and Elijah. Elijah was supposed to be forced to choose between children's lives and letting the Hollow loose upon the world, and decide to kill the children. That was the dramatic point of placing this ritual in the narrative, but it isn’t mechanically sound.

It is stated outright that the ritual has to end with the death of the children linked to the spell. The children were linked via their totems found in 4x03 - placing Hope definitively in this group.

But we only ever see four of the five in one place. Maybe it was worth it to the Hollow to reach as far out as Hope was to bind her via her hairbrush, maybe it was worth it to the Hollow to drain her from afar, I’d buy that easily. But they made no attempt to kidnap her and place her with the other four children during the ritual. The ritual that required the deaths of five children. Unless it required Hope to be there only on standby, which is absolutely ridiculous. They had the kids on an alter, even if it was just for show. But why not all of them? If the real goal of the ritual was to lure Klaus and/or Marcel, wouldn’t kidnapping Klaus’ child be a more surefire way to accomplish that rather than just hoping the Mikaelsons would come to the right mystical diagnosis in time?

The reason why Hope wasn’t there was because the ritual was never thought through. The reason she wasn’t there is because it didn’t make sense for Elijah to want to kill Hope to stop the Hollow, which is what this ritual actually demanded if it actually worked the way Vincent claimed. In actuality, all that was desired was for Elijah to display a willingness to kill innocents in front of Hayley, and in doing so it demanded that Hope’s life both be at stake and not at stake at all. This failure to coherently execute a single-episode arc is plainly poor storytelling. It displays not only disrespect to the narrative structure, but a blatant flippancy towards one of their main characters and arguably the most complex one on the series. The sloppily contrived tension here between Hayley and Elijah does eventually contribute to the supposed theme, yes, but at what cost?

Elijah was neglected because he was hard to write, and even harder to write well as a ‘light’ foil to Klaus. Marcel should have fully owned that role, and not been similarly jerked around as a plot-serving every-man once the mystery of season 1 and the reasons behind Marcel’s ‘senseless’ cruelty were revealed. 

Elijah was always the cornerstone of the family’s narrative, because he was complex enough to carry it. Camille provided an additional column of support to Klaus’ individual journey as a person/father, but she was bulldozed for Allmighty Plot as well. By the end of season three, both she and Elijah had effectively been thrown in the garbage one way or another, and the show tried to go on without them. It couldn’t. 

I will say that Elijah’s conversation with Hope in that ludicrous backdoor pilot did make me feel things. I did also see the clip where Elijah and Klaus have a heart-to-heart in some sort of european flashback, which was touching, but felt incongruous for their relationship/dev at the time. Hope asking Elijah how old he was when he made his promises to Klaus, though? Elijah offering carte blanche to Hope for how to punish her friend’s bullies? TWO OF THE THREE SCENES INVOLVING ICE CREAM? 

SOME of season 5 is valid but ONLY because it stole scripts from my headcanons.

[migleefulmoments]

"No one will ever convince me he made that statement, and if you listen to his ACTUAL words about that, he didn’t say he wouldn’t take any more LGBTQ roles." Darren literally said that the gay community would have his head if he took another gay role but somehow to tinhats like Cassie, that means the next role he takes will be a gay character. I guess Darren meant that he knows the gay community will try to murder him, but he has faith in his ability to avoid their attempts. They're such freaks.

When they make grandiose and sweeping statements like this, I feel the full weight of the disinformation campaign they all embrace. Cassie claims “When you listen to his actual words…he didn’t say he wouldn’t take any more LGBTQ roles” so we have to see if she’s telling the truth or she’s manipulating reality in order to soothe their anxiety and allow them to easily fetishize the gay version of Darren. 

What did Darren say? (You can read the entire Bustle piece (X))

“There are certain [queer] roles that I’ll see that are just wonderful,“ Criss explains when we speak at a recent event for Clorox’s What Comes Next in New York, a few days after he returned from an overseas tour with his Glee co-star Lea Michele. ”But I want to make sure I won’t be another straight boy taking a gay man’s role.“Although Criss says it’s “been a real joy” playing queer characters like Blaine, Cunanan, and Hedwig in the Broadway musical Hedwig and the Angry Inch, he now doesn’t feel comfortable taking those roles, which is “unfortunate,” he says. “The reason I say that is because getting to play those characters is inherently a wonderful dramatic experience,” he adds. “It has made for very, very compelling and interesting people.”

One of the reasons they claim they don’t think Darren said the words is because they claim that print interviews are fake: 

12/18/18  ajw720 answered: 

I would like to see a video as well, nonnie, as I don’t actually think he said any of this shit. Print articles are never, ever to be trusted. They are generally fabricated.  

If you recall nonnie, D himself called out an article earlier this year (it may even be the one referred to in this piece of crap) for taking a quote of his out of context about his Filipino Heritage, likely as he was sick of being called white repeatedly.  Fact is, while he is able to correct the “white” narrative, he, at this time, is not able to correct the straight narrative so he can’t even defend himself when this utter nonsense is published in his name.

First of all print articles aren’t generally fabricated and most CAN be trusted if you vet them properly. Claiming  “ALL print articles are fabricated”- and therefore not to be trusted is a perfect cctrope because it gives them the out they need to label everything they don’t like-every single quote, every single story, and every single description as fake news. It’s the perfect strategy for ignoring everything Darren talks about that proves he isn’t Blarren- all the puns and sexual innuendos, all the crude comments, all the sweet things he says about Mia or his sexuality. All they have to do is remind their followers that it was in a print article and Woosh- it’s invalid. Trump is doing the same thing with his base-he’s grooming them to believe that the media is dangerous and that everyone fabricates stories about him. He calls them “the enemy of the people” so when the. NYT proves he laundered money for years through the Russian mafia or that he actively cheated during the 2016 election and is trying to cheat in 2020, his base will scream “fake news” and threaten to go all 2nd amendment on the rest of us.  

Once again Abby uses something to prove her point but misses the fact that it actually proves she’s full of shit- Darren did push back on the interview where he was misquoted regarding his Filipino heritage but he hasn’t pushed back on any other interview he’s ever given. We can see he’s capable of pushing back, he’s interested in making sure he is quoted accurately and yet we’ve seen no other example- the reasonable conclusion is that is because the other interviews weren’t misquoted.    

e Bustle piece and understand that he said he will no longer play LGBTQ characters. It’s clear that Darren has a far deeper understanding of the issue than Cassie and Abby.  Splitting hairs and claiming he didn’t specifically say he would never play a bisexual or trans character is stupid. What Cassie and Abby are missing in the article is this paragraph:

This conversation about straight actors being cast in gay roles is about more than just LGBTQ actors losing out on Oscars, of course. It’s about Hollywood missing an opportunity to embrace new talent who would better serve these stories. And over the years, actors like Criss have become more sensitive to these types of concerns. The Versase star understands that there is an added honesty to actor getting to play characters who share their identities. “The commitment to that drama is told in such a way that it can really effectively reach people’s lives,” Criss says. “I think that really is important.”

Abby gets her wish- there is an audio recording of him making this statement-albeit it was 4 months prior to the Bustle interview and he seems to have evolved his understanding of the importance of representation in those 4 months. In the Hollywood Reporter interview he said:  

“….But I do think about that now, you know, if roles come by that are LGBT leaning - I really think it would be insensitive to the gay community if I were to take another role. I think they’d have my head. You know, I would totally understand that. So I’m certainly cognizant of it. And while it is very tricky, I think the discussion and the questioning is really really important. And I think it’s good that we’re uncertain and I hope that we can find some kind of balance.” -Darren Criss, 8/26/18 

I am an idiot and can’t remember how I got the audio portion of the interview on to my blog so I have to refer you to my old post if you want to hear Darren say the words (X). 

I think you are correct- Darren is well aware the gay community will kill him but he doesn’t care because he has superpowers. 

EDIT** I found this charming comment from Chrisdare who is a “journalist” yet she knows nothing about journalism. I got in an argument with her once and she schooled me that journalists aren’t educated.and will say anything a publicist tells them too.  Whatever, Valentina,  Google should be your friend.     

Anonymous asked: It wouldn’t matter if you saw a video because you wouldn’t believe it anyway. You would say he was being forced to say it. Fact is CCers haven’t believed a thing

ajw720 answered:I believe many things nonnie. I also have a deep and fundamental understanding about hollywood works nonnie and that is something you clearly lack.

Further, if D was straight, i believe he would never allow them to portray him as an asshole.  D is an incredibly intelligent human being, he knows exactly how negatively the straight push reflects on him. and frankly, it would not be necessary if he exclusively slept with female persons with vaginas.

Have a nice life living in delusionville.    

chrisdarebashfulsmiles JCS shut the f** up. 

When we talk about articles and how they are made we talk about facts. I hate when you come here busting balls on professional stuff when you don’t know anything. You can’t even imagine all the shit we do as journalist

It’s not a matter of cc but the fact they are ruining D’s life and career. And if you are a fan you need to start opening your eyes and stop being an enabler. I swear you should feel guilty when he will come out because you helped keeping him in the closet.

Talk about dellusionville! 

**********Edit Edit *******(X)

chrisdarebashfulsmiles  Because there’s a power of attorney that allows RR and Ab to do so. To say something D has to prove that the article is harmful and he has to do it through a legal action. And this means breach of contract with all it entails like the two years of stop from signing an anything.

That IS NOT how “power of attorney” works.  But nice try- 10 points for originality and imagination! 

***Edit Edit Edit *********

Anonymous asked: An article you should read to help you understand how journalism works .tinyurl/com/y9s49tms. German Reporter At Der Spiegel Fired for Fabricating Stories “On A Grand Scale”. “I’m so angry, horrified, shocked, stunned,” Der Spiegel deputy foreign editor Mathieu von Rohr tweeted Wednesday. “Claas Relotius faked, he cheated on us all.” Journalists can’t just make up stories or publish falsities no matter how much you want to believe that is happening in Hollywood.

chrisdarebashfulsmiles answered: It’s amazing how is crystal clear that you never worked in a magazine or in a PR firm. I work since 2004 and I don’t need an article… I know how it works. We aren’t talking about WSJ and serious stuff. We are talking about gossip and showbusiness so don’t try to be smug because you are failing.

Have nice day/ night wherever you are. :) it’s evening here and I’m enjoying my free time.

bjpb8 Oh, my gosh who is this person. People thrive on gossip and “Rags”. IT SELLS. First begain with papers like En/quire, The Globe, etc. Then spread to SM with blinds. You think other magazines and papers do not want to make money. Everyone prints what sells depending on audiences. Embellishment is part of the trade. They want to catch your interest, which feeds right into what PR wants to sell! Tts a sybiotic relationship at best! It is just some are more talented at making what sounds like truth out of lies. Its called entertainment. You might want ro “read” about it.

The author of the Bustle interview has a master’s degree in journalism from CUNY New York so it is more like the wall street journal than it is the “website” you work for Valentina. Journalists have a degree in journalism.  Anyone can be a blogger - you’ve proved that. 

****Edit Edit Edit Edit *******

D/arren did not write that post! (X) 

12/19/18

ajw720 I have enough faith in Dar/ren Cri/ss personality and his respect and love for his fans to know that the comments attributed to him were not his.  I’ve seem this happen before…I’m sure many of you have, also.  Darr/en is stuck between a rock and a hard place right now.  When he finally writes a memoir about this time, he will let us know about his anquish, anger and remorse.  If one is a TRUE CC and Dar/ren fan, after years of roller-coaster rides via PR, et al…I will continue to take the advice of the person that runse THIS SITE.  “Trust the process…”

***********************************************************************

@geminess We have to trust the process and believe that C and D are working hard towards an ending to this absolute tragedy that is legally clean and does not jeopardize either of their careers.  

I believe in them, I cannot accept that D would ever willingly choose to represent himself in this manner and to continue this nightmare of a charade surrounded by utterly and completely vile, disgusting human beings.

Please, please, please may we be right.  I cannot repeat enough there is no alternative ending that is acceptable but D breaking free by ending this sham of an encage, severing ties with his inhumane team, and eventually coming out.  

And yesterday proved once again just how frightening the alternative is.  I would fear for his career and his life.  And it baffles and amazes me that anyone watching, even if you believe he is the straightest man alive, cannot see how harmful that article was.  It was like he used the LGBT+ community to win his awards and is now ready to dismiss them.

(X) 12/19/18

Anonymous asked: On the bright side, this means we’re coming to the end right?

ajw720 answered: Anon, we honestly don’t know, but we can only hope. If D extends his time with these assholes, it will be very ugly for him personally and professionally.

But logic seems to say that this article, the literally offends every fan but the blind and naive, is wholly unnecessary if in fact they are going to continue a professional relationships. And it did not just the fans, think about how many award voters they offended yesterday with that utter piece of crap.

Absolutely and utterly unreal. Hard to believe they are able to get away with working against their client at every turn.

Logic? One thing the cc fandom has proven in the last 10 years is that they do not understand or care about logic. 

12/24/18 (X)

ajw720 It’s interesting how there are such varying opinions on the “straight boy” article. And I think it comes down to 2 questions:

1. Do you believe D is a willing participant in his closeting?

2. Do you believe he actually said what the article alleges?

My answer to both is a resounding no (though he will be forced to validate the comments) and I have good reason to think this. But I certainly see why ones perspective is different if you answer one or both as yes.

This being said, no matter your answers to the above, I don’t see how it can be justified that he would dismiss b/laine in such a manner. And the timing, because I still think it makes him look like an ass and /or a coward as awards are voted for playing queer. And to repeat, I don’t think he should play queer again until his team is dismissed, so I’m not disagreeing with the premise, just the manner it was done, which again, I believe was without his consent.

Not posting to start a fight. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. I clearly am not afraid to state mine, which is very reasoned and based on a lot of information I’ve collected.

Just interesting that some very intelligent people, all of whom believe he’s closeted, can vary so much in what they believe.

[jcmorgenstern]

3x12 “review” (aka whining)

Okay so 3x12! First the things I liked, so this doesn’t come off as a gigantic whining list of things I hated. (I feel kind of bad I didn’t do a 3x11 review because I actually really liked that one, but I guess I have more motivation to whine than anything else).

readmore for length and sanity.

So things I liked:

Luke and Jace interaction! Though the pacing was absolutely insane and I absolutely refuse to believe that the Clave has the infrastructure in place to take detailed barometric readings in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE SIBERIA, so detailed that Jace can easily pinpoint exactly where the apartment was. Like I wouldn’t believe they have that kind of detail in rural Iowa, let alone a place that’s colder than balls.

That last point was all whining.The Morgenstern sword!! Y’all have NO idea how long I spent being mad that Valentine didn’t have it in the first two seasons. It now seems a bit odd to introduce it now considering Valentine didn’t in fact ever have it, but whatever. Also Clary being like “fuck Morgenstern weapons” was kind of funny considering her kindjals are waiting at home.

Magnus’ storyline. Though it’s kind of weird and rushed and confused, I’m just glad my man is getting some real focus on him as a person rather than a love interest or idk some overblown “son of Edom” thing.

Cain was, I admit, a really cool and interesting concept, and I already really like Pasha!! I hope he’s continuing to get better after his surgery. Don’t love as much how they’re mainlining Lilith as the Biggest Bad Ever and a Whole Evil B*tch (more on that lovely term of endearment later).

Mirek was really cool, kind of had to laugh at the “demon middle class.” Can’t help but wonder if the “status quo” thing was a deliberate political joke or not. Either way, Jonathan has never met a structure he doesn’t want to overthrow. Does the Clave spark joy? Apparently not.

MELIORN IS BACK!!!!! And wants a threesome, apparently.

Jonathan peevishly being like “I forgive you for trying to kill me, btw” and Clary just rolling her eyes and ignoring him.

Jonathan’s fucking GAAAY. (Or bi. pan. whatever. You do you. All I’m saying is THIS BITCH RAINBOW). I do not care what the intention was, that’s what I’m choosing to get out of it.

Things I didn’t like:

the plot of this episode is pretty much enough material for an entire season. They compressed it so much people are calling it a filler episode. Jace and Luke figure out the secret of the apartment (which is untraceable), go to Siberia, figure out Jonathan is alive, find Clary and rescue her and that’s only about 15 minutes of footage overall. That could be spread out over 15 episodes.

On the Simon side: they find the first fucking vampire, become his new bestie, get the only thing in the world that could rid him of the mark without any sort of price or even really having to ask, they get back into Faerie without any problems, Meliorn takes them right to the Queen despite knowing Simon has a weapon of death on his face, she agrees without argument to unmark him not even knowing if he’ll explode or what, the mark is off in about 14 seconds, the FUCKING DRUG PLOTLINE IS BACK AG A. I N. And then rose petals. That could have been the entire SEASON.

No Maia. (I know she’s in the next ep I just want to complain).

It’s also weird because it seems like Malec is progressing on normal time and the other two story strands are progressing on some extreme kind of fast-forward. It gives you all kinds of whiplash. If there was any kind of thematic overlap or even an attempt to connect the strands thematically it might work to ground the other storylines but it. Does not.

I hate that the apartment is Lilith’s and not Valentine’s, and that apparently it can only go to a few select spots now. NOT. THE. POINT. Point = missed.

And onto the things that bothered me the most: the whole treatment of Jonathan and Clary, and the Sizzy. For which I need an entire section to bitch.

Jonathan and Clary: why god have you abandoned me

* Ok so honestly, I had to go and check to see who wrote 3x11 and 3x12, because  it had to be different people. 3x11 was by Todd and Darren, and 3x12 was by Alex Schemmer. Schemmer has only written one other episode in 3a (3x03), which explains to me why he seems to have missed a fair bit of lore. To me, the huge difference between 3x11 and 12, which basically deal with the same plot line (Clary kidnapped by Jonathan, wary of him, trying to escape) but in hugely different ways and different focus.

In 3x11, the focus is all on Clary. Her initial confusion, her fear, anger, the attempt to escape, the attempt to kill Jonathan. All shot from her point of view. She takes more action than he does—she runs away, she grabs the knife, she stabs him. He is mostly reacting to her, running after her, offering her soup and tea and trying to win her over. Even when he does talk, the scenes where he talks about himself are brief and she shares equal part in the conversation.

This makes sense, as she is the main character.

In 3x12, everything is about Jonathan. From the first shot everything is about him, the camera focusing on him even when Clary is the focus of the scene (i.e., when she’s finding new clothes—and was a shirtless scene necessary? Like we get it, you nearly killed poor Luke in a gym somewhere, thanks for the update). Every time he and Clary talk, it’s just him talking at her. “I forgive you for killing me.” Telling her she’s good at art. Telling her there’s an Institute nearby. Telling her he likes art. She can barely get a word in edgewise from the get-go, and it only gets worse on the hot chocolate “date.”

He says the whole point is to get to know each other better, but he LITERALLY talks about himself the whole time. Clary barely even reacts, just makes eyes at a phone. He doesn’t even seem to notice she’s not listening. Like guys, this is every bad tinder date ever. Then they go to to the antiques store, and even then she’s shuffled off—shoo! Get out of the scene!! Even the French guy interrupts her at every turn and she gets shuffled off like a sack of potatoes *again*.

Like don’t tell me Clary couldn’t kick his ass and then explain things to him when he’s pinned to the ground. It would be faster, safer, and if Jonathan shows up again she can be like “ohh he was threatening us!! Look, I beat him up to keep us safe!” and Jonathan would buy it hook, line, and sinker. Since killing people in broad daylight is ok, clearly the show isn’t worried about the realism of fighting in the streets.

And then she’s shuffled off AGAIN, and although the show clearly understands that being kidnapped and controlled by your dangerously unhappy brother who seriously has the creepy hots for you is a pretty freakin SCARY situation, it still shows all this from Jonathan’s point of view, teasing the “romance” of it all and giving us hehe teehee little slips of it (like the shirtless scene). And then when she finally is able to break free and actually do something, he yells “BITCH” at her and runs off, and she falls into Jace’s arms, completely forgetting to act like a real human being.

The reason why 3x11 works so much more for me is that Clary is at least an equal partner, and is given space to react and actually do things; in 3x12 they seem to take any excuse to bundle her off, keep her out of frame, mute her reactions. Jonathan and his feelings take center stage and suddenly Clary is a side character in her own story. 3x11 is more compelling because Jonathan is legitimately trying to win her over, trying to connect with her, personally. It’s obvious he cares about her opinions as a person and her as a person—you couldn’t replace her with a cardboard cutout and the scene would read the same. They actually interact. In 3x12 he’s just ranting at her about himself while she sits there. On no narrative level is there any sort of connection or interaction.

Like imagine the situation differently. They’re in art store, because lbr the real museums prolly wouldn’t let them shoot there, and Clary is talking to Jonathan about her favorite prints and artists. He’s listening, maybe a little too intently, maybe talks about a piece he likes and what it means to him. She looks unnerved. As they talk, the camera follows her gaze, and we realize she is trying to find someone’s phone to take it. She’s pretending, of course, but there is something charming about Paris. Jonathan keeps offering to buy her souvenirs, very awkwardly, trying to find something to please her. She picks something to make him happy. He returns from the register just before she can make a grab for someone’s phone and bolt for the door. He suggests they go to the cafe across the square. We cut to where they’re sitting down, she’s tearing into a croissant. Jonathan is wearing a “I <3 PARIS” cap, which is a bit jarring and distracting. Clary tells him it looks silly and he takes it off. He mentions in a forcedly offhand way that this is where he met Sebastian Verlac, and seeing her expression, quickly adds that he knows what he did is wrong. She says something along the lines of “do you, tho” and he launches into his monologue. She tells him that she liked Sebastian Verlac, even though she never met the real him. He looks happy at first, then seems to understand what she means, and his expression darkens. He tells her that that’s exactly what Valentine said she would say—that she likes Sebastian, not him. She looks disturbed at the mention of Valentine, and he takes the opportunity to tell her the whole thing about not wanting to hurt anyone and the whole thing being about killing Valentine.

And yada yada yada you get the idea.

Honestly the whole rescue felt very contrived—how convenient Clary has been posthumously pardoned one day before her rescue! And then Jonathan calling her a bitch—haha no thanks. The entitlement is uhh Not Great.

Anyway tldr @ Alex schemmer Clary is not a sofa pls give her some human emotion pls and thanks

Sizzy: why god have you abandoned me, the sequel

Honestly writing that entire wall of text wiped me out but ill try

The drug arc is the bane of my existence

Im so tired

I thought we’d be done in season 2 yet here we are at the end. Drug arc: 1. Actual character development: 0.

Why is this the ONLY plot line the show can remember or keep running for more than 2 episodes. WHY

Why does she even like Simon. They never interact. They don’t even know each other. Everything is just an excuse to get them together. it’s forced and leaden.

Playing her and Raph off as badwrong and her and Simon as rose petal romantic is weird af dude. Izzy has just been the tail end of male characters’ storylines for so long and I’m tired.

If they’d played it off as a sacrifice on her part I might be less mad, like paint her as a hero but it just felt like this was expected of her. It was romantic because there was nothing else to do and OF COURSE she couldn’t refuse!!! Please be realistic, she’s a woman. Think of herself even a little? Impossible!

Never mind she could have easily used her medical training to open a larger artery, pour the blood into his mouth, and iratze herself as soon as Simon was cogent enough to be out of danger. He was already woken up enough to drink the blood she poured from her hand. No biting/venom necessary. Lmao.

Stop treating Izzy like shit just to force a romantic storyline seriously lmao

Aaaaanyway lol that was like 20000000 words but those are my thoughts if you made it to the end you deserve a trophy or smth

[jinxthinks]

So an anon asked me to make a oneshot or short fic of a Tyrus text post I made a while back. http://jinxthinks.tumblr.com/post/177140452670/cyrus-i-hate-being-this-short-tj-i-think-your and I tried my best to comply. This is all from Cyrus’s pov. I tried my best to keep him in character as best I could. For the purpose of the story, he’s insecure about his height. Also warning: Hints of bullying here and there. Enjoy. :)

For as long as I can remember, I've been short. I know people might consider that to be cute or whatever but... I'm a guy. Were expected to be taller than girls for some reason and if we aren't, we get bullied incessantly about it.

I've heard it all. From pipsqueak to midget. You name it, someone has probably called me it in reference to my height. Granted midget makes no sense since I'm taller than what would count being a midget but... They don't care.

I'm so self conscious about my height that if I weren't a guy who is constantly bullied for being a bit feminine, I'd wear platform shoes to add to my height a bit.

It's very damaging to my already low self esteem to walk around and hear snickers and whispers about my height. Just today I was in gym class and when it came my turn to climb the rope, I heard someone say behind me, 'This should be a treat. Watching the midget climb.'

I don't have popularity to fall back on like Jonah does to make up for not being as tall as other guys. Or a purely intimidating presence like Buffy does. I'm just a socially awkward Jewish kid with more insecurities and inner demons than I can count.

It also doesn't help that my boyfriend, TJ, towers over me and is a constant reminder of how short I am in comparison.

That day as I was mulling over all this in my head, Buffy and Andi told me they had to leave early so I was stuck walking home alone today. I was making my way out of the school when I heard an all too familiar voice behind me.

"Hey underdog. I heard Andi and Buffy left early. Want to go home together?" he was smiling at me like always. I love the way he smiles at me and the way these smiles seem to be reserved solely for me.

"Sure thing not so scary basketball guy. I was kind of sad that I'd be walking home alone today to be honest. I don't want to be alone with my thoughts right now. But are you sure you're okay walking me home? You live the other way..."

"I will walk to the ends of the earth with you if I have to Cyrus." there goes my heart again. Badump badump badump, he sure is gifted in making my heart race at what he says. What did I do to deserve a guy that likes me like he does.

"W... Well when you put it that way. I'd be honored to have you walk me home." I try to smile at him the way he does to me. I sometimes feel like I get more out of our relationship than he does. He does so much for me all the time. Yet I feel like I don't do enough for him at times.

He puts a hand on my shoulder and smiles back at me, "You can tell me what's bothering you on the way then. Maybe there's some way I can help." I wouldn't put it past him to think of a way to help to be honest. He's so good at lifting up my spirits when they're low. 

When we were a ways away from the school, TJ intertwines his fingers with mine. He doesn't care what people think of him or him liking boys. This is more so a precaution for my sake since he knows people pick on me a lot and he's not always there to protect me. 

He starts rubbing one of my fingers with his and I momentarily forget what I was mulling over. What did I do to deserve him? I don't think I'll ever know but I'm so glad that I have someone like him in my life. 

"So... are you going to tell me what's bugging you or?..." of course he'd be the one to remember. I lean into him more. Clinging to his arm and resting my head there. "Can we just walk like this for a while? I promise I'll tell you in a bit. Let me just enjoy this a while longer."

He says nothing and continues walking. We stay like that halfway through the walk to my place when he suddenly breaks the silence. "Cyrus I'm starting to worry. Your house isn't that far now and you still haven't told me what's bothering you."

I let go of his hand and his arm and just stand next to him. Staring off into nothing. TJ tenses up and stops walking as well, not knowing what to expect. "I hate being this short."

He smiles as he says. "That's it underdog? I think your height is one of the cutest things about you." There he goes being cliched. 

"What no way. I can’t reach the top shelf of anything. Not to mention at gym class I’ve heard people making fun of how short I am for a guy." He turns in my direction to look me in the eyes. "Names?"

As much as a part of me would love to see those guys get beat up by my boyfriend, I shake that thought away. "No TJ I know where you’re going with that. It’s wrong and you’re missing the point here."

His expression changes from playful to serious. "Okay so what is the point here?" Of course he wouldn't understand this. He can intimidate anyone with just a stare. Not to mention he's average height for a guy.

"That they’re right. I AM short. It’s so annoying." I say with desperation written all over my face. I know my insecurity over it is written all over my face but... He wanted to know. Plus he's always been good at lifting up my spirits.

"I’ll show you one reason why it’s not as bad as you think." he sounds so confident when he says it that a part of me believes him. That same part is eager for him to show or say what he has in mind.

However the part of me that thinks he's in way over his head this time is the one that replies. "There is nothing you could say or do that would make me feel better about my height." 

"Challenge accepted." His expression changes to a flirtatious one. Now I'm really eager to see what he has in mind. He makes his way behind me and my heart starts to race trying to figure it out.

He leans down, wraps his arms around me and rests his head on my shoulders. Our faces are only inches apart. It's seems so weird how such a small gesture is making my heart race in an incomprehensible pace. 

He leans in closer, to the point I can feel his breath on my cheek and whispers. "If you were the same height as me, I wouldn’t be able to do this. Wouldn’t that be a shame?"

My mind becomes an absolute mess. Momentarily incapable of any coherent thought. Which transfers to my speech. "Uh… Um… You do make a compelling argument there… Um… I"

TJ lifts his head up a bit so his lips are directly near my ear. What is this boy doing to me right now. I can't think straight. Not that I mind it. My mind is jumbled in pure ecstasy at his actions.

He whispers again, his breath near my ear sending shivers of joy down my spine. "You what?" Instead of trying to make sense of what's happening to me right now, I just accept it and relish in it. 

"I… Would definitely hate it if this weren’t a possibility. I guess being short does have its perks after all." I find myself actually meaning what I say to him. So long as we can have moments like this together, I don't mind being short. Once again he found a way to lift my spirits.

From the corner of my eye I see that my response causes him to smile in earnest. One of those perfect soft smiles reserved only for me. Then his lips move to my neck and he kisses it the softest I've ever been kissed. I turn my head.

He looks at me, puzzled. So I make it clear what I expect by looking at his lips. He smiles again and leans in to make our lips meet in a passionate kiss that doesn't last as long as I wish it did. He breaks free from our embrace which leaves me yearning to be held like that again.

"See? I did find a way to help after all. Now lets get you home before your parents start blowing up your phone with worried texts wondering where you are." I nod at him speechless, my mouth agape.

He goes back to stand next to me and intertwines our fingers again. "Ready?" Once again I just nod, words incapable of coming out of my mouth after what happened. We start walking, making our way the rest of the way home.

[rabidfangirlteehee]

Thoughts on The Crimes of Grinderwald ( Spoilers ahead)

The Good

The one thing I did appreciate in this movie ( apart from Jude Law as Dumbledore he was great actually the cast minus Depp i did like. Depp in my opinion just does not make a good Grinderwald) was their effort to show how Grinderwald and Supremacists like him might entice others. Voldemort wasn't shown recruiting anyone who didn't already share his views in the books. But Grinderwald is at a stage where he wants to be able to sway the common Witch/Wizard to his side and incorporate his ideology. So he does things like incite a crowd causing a auror to kill after a perceived attack ( in self defense) and then citing it as a example that the other side are the clear villains here.

Or saying things like he doesn't consider muggles to be inferior just different and offers others a chance to change the future between magic folk and muggles in public. But then in private refers to them as beasts of burden before ordering the murder of a muggle baby.

Or using fear of a dangerous and uncertain future to push the general public to pick a extreme option to prevent a more terrible outcome.

Its not done perfectly and there are alot of flaws. But the attempt to illustrate how Grinderwald and supremacists like him minipulate is something I appreciate.

The bad

Tying up plot threads from the last movie: Namely Credence's death and Jacob having his memory back. I would have liked a better explanation. I think its possible that I might get one in the next movie for at least Credence but even if that is true it still made a sloppy transition from the end of the last movie because Credence's unfair life and death was a pretty big deal in the last movie.

The blood pact: Its never explicitly said that Dumbledore is gay or likes Grinderwald. But I could have accepted it due to the mirror scene, the closer than brothers line and Dumbledore constantly claiming he couldn't fight Grinderwald but offering no explanation as to why. It seemed to me that it was strongly implying he had still had feelings and therefore couldn't face Grinderwald. Despite them not explicitly saying this. But then they went and ruined it by putting in the blood pact. I mean you still have a couple scenes implying things but it kinda makes things feel less compelling. It would have been a much stronger arc if you saw Dumbledore muster the conviction to face Grinderwald despite having feelings. More than some plot convenience blood pact which prevented the confrontation. That being said they could have easily had a moment where there past relationship was brought up despite the dumbass blood pact. Like there is 0 reason to dance around the subject. Still there are sequels so maybe it will be brought up in those so I wont be too harsh now.

Nagini: With all the scandal involving the whole thing about Nagini being secretly a woman I felt that Rowling had pushed it for a purpose. It didn't really improve the original hp story in any way but I wondered if it maybe added to this one. If it had anything to add to this series it wasn't added in this installment. Nagini had a bit part and her cursed to a snake form was something that was not really important at all. Maybe it will for the next movie but from what was revealed in this one I don't really see how.

The only one strong enough to stop Grinderwald/Dumbledore:  The ministry pushes Dumbledore to kill Grinderwald insisting he is the only one strong enough to. And admittedly Dumbledore is strong the Ministry should want him on board. But they act as tho Dumbledore is their only chance. This push to make this a one on one fight makes no sense. As far as I know unlike Voldemort Grinderwald was powerful but had nothing that made him effectively immortal. And the same could be said for Dumbledore. Dumbledore was a strong force against Voldemort not because of his magical strength but because his tactics made Voldemort Falter and Dumbledore could outwit him. And Harry was a strong Force because he made this unkillable thing disappear as a baby. Grinderwald might see Dumbledore as a powerful foe but if he has him under a blood pact then why is he so keen on killing him? Shouldn't he be more interested in world domination? Shouldn't that be what this story is focused on? But no what ties all the different sides together is their interest in Credence. And Grinderwald is interested in him because he can defeat Dumbledore. Even more importantly Dumbledore got the Order of Merlin for defeating Grinderwald so ya he was strong but would he really have that much of a reputation before he did? In terms of fighting skill I mean. His work in alchemy is another story.  Also tied to this is the ministry pushing Newt to go after Credence and join the Ministry. Like Dumbledore is one thing but why are you so interested in recruiting a magical biologist to be a auror. Its like if you were asked to pick the ideal person for a manhunt in New York and your choice was Jane Goodall.

Queenie: This really stood out to me because I really liked her character in the first movie. So in this movie she enchants Jacob to marry her. This isn't a unappealing idea to him infact it is a kinda ideal end goal for him but there are good reasons why he's afraid to pursue this and they are all legitimate reasons to say no. He has every right no say no even if he has feelings for her and likes the idea of being married to her. Its his choice and she was going to steal that from him. She probably would have if Newt hadn't intervented. And if that was shown to develop her character and make her undergo an arc and be held responsible for her actions I would have accepted that. But its not. Jacob doesn't really get mad at her or point out how fucked up it was she did that. Newt never tells Jacob that it was when he is pining for her after. Its never mentioned that this is a thing that might need to be discussed when he sees her again. In fact the only issue to arise from this is Queenie wants to take a risk and get married and Jacob thinks its too risky and Queenie sees it as cowardly. This could be a interesting arguement in its own right but this argument completely glosses over the you just mind controlled me plot point.

And then to make things worse she then joins Grinderwald because....? Like ya he offers her the chance to marry Jacob by changing the rules about this kinda thing. But even if you discount the whole thing about her reading minds and possibly seeing the baby incident, she really believed him that fast? She is a little eccentric but she's not stupid. But lets say she was desperate and believed him. She could clearly see and tell that this idea of joining Grinderwald was turning him off and pushing him away from her. So she chooses to join Grinderwald to be closer to Jacob when by joining Grinderwald will only push them apart based on his reactions to him. Or maybe she will just enchant him again cuz clearly no one sees it as a huge deal.

Im sorry I harp on this a bit but when it comes to men being minipulated into sex or romance or relationships via magical means( love potions or enchantments) Rowling treats the thing as casual. Not seriously fucked up. Even for Merlope from what I remember the problem was more that the dad left she became distraught and died and her actions led to Voldemort being a thing. How fucked up her actions were are kinda glossed over. Same with Romilda Vane trying to drug Harry. Or Mrs Weasely casually mentioning she used love potions in school as if it was this perfectly acceptable thing.

Aurelius Dumbledore: Why just why? And then they added that shit about Dumbledore's family being tied to Pheonixes. Not every interesting thing about a character needs a special unique power or birthright. It would have been fine if Dumbledore just befriended Fawkes and Fawkes followed him because they got along well. Like no special prophecy needed. It felt like Rowling just needed a good twist as to who Credence was because he was actively searching for his family to find out more about himself. So he had to be related to someone very important. But why go with that at all? The most unique thing about Credence was that he was a obscurus. That's not a genetic thing. Finding out who your family is wouldn't help with that. Wouldn't it make more sense if he sought out someone who did know about Obsuruses ? Like say Newt? In fact that would also get Newt involved without the whole Ministry pushing a magical biologist to become an auror subplot. He could be trying to keep Credence safe while the ministry wants to lock him up because of Grinderwald's interest in him. Grinderwald is interested in the power he posesses and not just because its a good way to kill Dumbledore but in general, and Yusuf wants him dead because he thinks Credence is Corvus. And Newt just wants to help him because he thinks Credence should be able to be free. And eventually the problem is solved because Love and familiarity was apparently the way to handle the Obscurus and Credence has finally met someone who gives two shits about him. Newt.

Instead you get Dumbledores Secret brother and Credence being obsessed about his heritage because he's a orphan of course he is.  Not that orphans would by default have interest in who their birth parents were, but it just feels like the stereotypical plot for a orphan when you could have done something else that could be ( in my opinion) more interesting. 

[balioc]

Sexbots, Plato, and Jung

Apparently today is the day for sexbot discourse.  Joy of joys.

So...why does anyone want a sexbot?  What’s the value-add in this proposition?

There’s obviously a wide spectrum of possibilities here, but I think we can usefully divide them into three conceptual buckets. 

On the one end, there’s the pure straightforward object-oriented desire for a better sex toy with cooler features.  “Give me a vibrator/fleshlight, but, like, mobile, with arms and legs and a face and stuff, because that’ll make the orgasms better somehow.”  

To the extent that anyone is thinking this, I have zero trouble saying that there’s absolutely no objection to it at all that carries any water.  Go and get the best tool for the task.  Have fun. 

...on the other hand, an honest assessment will compel us to admit that basically no one will be thinking this.  Sex is mostly mental and emotional for pretty much everyone, the things we want out of it are mostly about complicated deep-laid psychological stuff -- and to the extent that it really is just about pushing physical pleasure-buttons, existing technology has that covered just fine.  This is kind of a strawman, and I’m mentioning it only for the sake of thoroughness. 

All the way on the other end, you get a number of variations on “I want a sexbot so that I can fool myself into believing that it’s a person with whom I can have a relationship.” 

(A few of those variations entail “...so that I can fool myself into believing that it’s a person with whom I can have a cruel/abusive relationship, one that for moral or practical reasons I can’t get with a real person.”  But only a few.  I’m not going to discuss them separately; I think we’ve had quite enough of that particular sub-discourse.)

Some people actually will think this; some already do.  In particular, if your conscious mind has become so soured on relationships (or so soured on the-opposite-sex-as-a-whole) that you believe them to be worthwhile only for the sake of fulfilling extremely simplistic psychological needs, you might be inclined to think that a non-sapient robot with a good user interface -- something like a current-tech video game NPC with a meatspace body, let’s say -- could fill the role of a human partner without much being lost. 

This is not a correct or healthy thing to think, and anyone whose mind is on this track is going to be painfully disappointed by the reality of having a sexbot. 

This is true for a lot of super-obvious reasons that boil down to “people are intellectually and emotionally generative, the value of being close to them mostly involves getting to interact with their complicated thoughts and feelings, the sexbots we’re talking about will not give you any of that.”  It’s also true for some slightly-less-obvious reasons.  A lot of what people want out of relationships, a lot of the thing whose absence actually drives lonely people to madness and despair, is social validation -- the validation of having someone (especially someone with a high social value) think that you’re worth caring about, the validation of everyone around you thinking that you’re cool or mature or successful or whatever -- and none of that can be faked, even if right now you feel like you’d be totally happy to settle for the external trappings. 

For whatever it’s worth, I also do agree with @jadagul that fooling yourself in this way is Unvirtuous, independent of any utilitarian fallout of any kind. 

So I’m happy to say that using a sexbot, for this particular kind of reason, is probably bad for you and you probably shouldn’t do it.  That in itself is not a good enough reason to make policy, we allow all sorts of bad things into society because trying to enforce a ban would be much worse, but it’s a judgment. 

But everything I’ve said thus far is kind of pointless, because the vast majority of the world’s desire-for-sexbots would in fact fall into the third bucket, which sits in between the other two. 

OK, our first Weird Philosophical Analogy: Plato’s tripartite soul.  You’ve got your semi-physiological animal appetite soul, you’ve got your seething subconscious emotional psychological soul, and you’ve got your conscious intellectual soul that contains your actual personality and goals and ideas.  In your “average” “normal” person, all three of them are united in strongly wanting sex.  But that desire means totally different things to each of them. 

The appetite soul can be satisfied with a vibrator or fleshlight.  The intellectual soul definitely needs another real person, someone who can constantly feed you you new thoughts and cause you to grow, someone who can be a part of your life and contribute things, no substitutes accepted. 

[I think that, in modern parlance, a person whose appetite soul doesn’t have that kind of need is called “asexual,” and a person whose intellectual soul doesn’t have that kind of need is called “aromantic.”  But maybe that mapping doesn’t work?  Discuss.]

The “emotional soul” -- which is a terrible name for it, but there isn’t a better one in modern language, which has lost the semantic distinction between nefesh/psyche/soul and ruach/pneuma/spirit, thanks, Church Doctors -- is roughly akin to the subconscious mind of the Old Psychologists, although you certainly can be aware of its workings under many circumstances.  It’s the part of you that cares about feelings and social cues in an unreflective way, much as the appetite soul cares about sugar and temperature and orgasms.  It’s the part of you that cringes when you feel shame, without any consideration of whether that shame is endorsed or desirable or appropriate.  It’s the part of you that crows like a rooster when some stranger likes your post on social media. 

The emotional soul cares almost exclusively about social, cultural, and emotional things, but...it doesn’t actually care about people, not in any sense that a thinking intelligence would find meaningful.  It doesn’t understand their existence as beings with interiority; that requires abstract thinking, which is not a thing of which it’s capable.  It doesn’t care about who they are or what they want.  It cares only about what they do, in a very direct and concrete kind of way, because human actions line up with the happy-patterns and sad-patterns that it does understand.

The emotional soul has a lot of use for a sexbot. 

An easy and not-very-loaded example: when you are despairing and full of doubts, it can be very comforting to have a beautiful-person-shaped-entity giving you the basic reassurances that you would otherwise have to give yourself.  Today, in our sexbot-free world, this usually translates to “it’s nice to have a loved one comfort you in such a way” -- but in fact your loved one’s existence as an independent thinking entity isn’t providing very much value-add in this particular scenario.  You already know the words in question, it’s not like you need someone else to generate them.  And, let’s be honest, your loved one is going to say those things pretty much no matter what he’s actually thinking in the moment, it may be so much a ritual courtesy that his not saying the words would be a hurtful surprise.  And yet it helps, perhaps quite a lot, because there’s a sub-rational part of you that doesn’t have declarative beliefs but knows that it likes seeing someone pretty say the nice words. 

A much-more-loaded example: many sexual fetishes.  No beliefs of any kind involved, no caring about anyone’s interiority, just some part of your mind that likes seeing someone pretty do the thing.  It’s a happy-button; maybe it has its origins in some interpersonal emotional complication, but at some point your psyche contains an independent module that’s just “button push ==> happy.”  And a sexbot can be pretty, and do the thing, just as well as a person with hopes and dreams. 

(I am pretty confident that, in a world with actual sexbots worthy of the name, a big slice of the sexbot-buying population is going to consist of couples interested in doing Group Sex Acts without any of the complications attendant on involving actual other people.) 

So OK.  Evaluation time.  What happens if this actually takes off?

A bunch of people get their emotional-soul needs met without having to rely on other human beings to do it for them.

This is potentially a very good thing. 

You can say “it will allow a bunch of lonely people who can’t find partners to satisfy more of their needs than they could otherwise,” which is true, but in fact it’s the least of it.  It could change the fundamental dynamic of human romantic relationships for those people who are capable of finding them.  It could allow them to be less driven by raw psychological need.

We’ve never actually relied on our partners for our appetite-soul needs; if you’ve got hands, you can probably find your way to an orgasm.  But we rely on our partners, extensively, for our emotional-soul needs.  We demand that they do the thing, whatever the thing is, because we need a person-shaped entity to fulfill that function or we get anxious and depressed.  We need them to play their assigned roles in our sex rituals and our comfort rituals and so on. 

If we have convincing person-shaped-entities without interiority that will just do whatever we want, then we can slot them into our rituals.  And maybe we can have a little more respect for each other as independent people, and approach each other in more of a spirit of exploratory appreciative wonder, and mutilate each other a little less in the name of creating the supportive partners we need.

A sentence you won’t hear very often these days, for good reason: I think it is helpful to think about this concept through a Jungian framework.

As Jung would have it, one of the important parts of your mind/soul/whatever is your anima if you’re a “normal” straight man, or animus if you’re a “normal” straight woman.  (There have been lots of arguments over how this works if you’re not doing the standard binary heterosexual thing, I’m not getting into it now, just...roll with it.)  The anima/animus is a sort of internal princess/prince figure, the living Grail at the end of the sacred self-development quest, containing within itself all the aspects of you that seem foreign and impossible-to-understand and not-quite-part-of-yourself.  The muse who brings inspiration, the voice of solace and comfort in the depths of depression, etc.  It’s represented as an idealized lover because it is all the things for which you reach out to the world in an attempt to feel complete.  But it’s all there inside. 

Achieving union with your anima/animus, in the Jungian scheme, is a key step of becoming a whole and happy person.  Without that internal union, you try to force other human beings into the role; it never works, and it does lots of damage to both parties in the process. 

I don’t know whether projecting aspects of your anima or animus onto a sexbot is a good way of coming to terms with it “properly.”  But I’m damn sure that I’d rather you do that, and seek out your private hieros gamos in a psychological mirror made from silicone, than dragoon an actual person into the job of making you complete. 

A lot of bad relationships -- and a lot of bad parts of good relationships -- are that second thing.  People feel so much desperate need for one another, because they feel so broken.  But love works a lot better when you go into it whole. 

[anthonybialy]

Politics Ticked

Trying to think of something other than politics is tricky when politics won't let you. The ceaseless interdictions into your life win arguments by force of law, which should tell you something about how well such ideas work without coercion. Being compelled to cooperate is precisely why government was limited from ordering your around on so many issues in the first place. But you can't appeal to the legal system when the judge is the one who mugged you.

It's unhealthy for anyone to think about what they must obey and how someone elected will fix their sorrows. This country's whole point features being left the hell alone, which is why liberals despise it so. I know rich white males came up with the system of being unbothered by a dumb and evil ruling club, so the notion must be as racist as it is sexist.

There's good news ahead if choice feels like torture, as you won't be allowed to engage in the alternative. We're told that Barack Obama's persistently flimsy health scheme fails only because it features too much choice. Government eliminating competition is telling in a way advocates don't grasp. Infringing on your existence at every instance features the precisely wrong kind of opportunities to seize.

A fear of attack makes going about everyday business stressful. Americans don't particularly care about Afghanistan except for that whole bit where the only industry permitted under the Taliban is terror planning. We really are lucky that the only memories left are short-term, as forgetting about precedent surely keeps us safe.

Money is worthless, but you can have all you'd like. It seems like inflation is the catch. Supply and demand applies to the quantity of bills, as well, but those dragging us into astounding debt so we can be affluent hope the sheer quantity of bills overwhelms the minuscule quantity of purchases that can be made with them.

Everything will be fine unless your physical self needs consumed energy. Modern people who found themselves reenacting bread lines thanks to the glory of inflation can't even eat for fun, much less to acquire calories. Food costs skyrocket for some mysterious reason that I'm sure has nothing to do with government trying to make everyone rich by printing currency.

An unnervingly high minimum wage costs you nothing as long as you buy same. Lectures about obesity from an entity of unimaginable corpulence that consumes income and savings in complete disregard to financial well-being adds whipped cream on a sundae nobody can afford. The entrée is out of reach, so forget about acquiring a treat.

Food costs skyrocketing may somehow lead to higher prices. A baseline that restaurant owners can't avoid is almost as ominous as artificially increasing compensation.  It's awesome to get more money except for how you can't get any job. Rich dishwashers couldn't afford to eat at the places where they work even if they managed to get hired.

Negotiation between workers, employers, sellers, and buyers for how much products and labor are worth is as close to happy as anyone involved will get. As it stands, the compassionately rational liberal response to shuttering restaurants is that they should pay more. Why did greedy proprietors who squeak by trying to provide enjoyment during calorie consumption not think to overpay? The most painful cruelty is based in idiocy.

Getting healthier is a matter of obeying. Why won't your stupid physical self listen to restrictions? Being ordered to not get infected works as well as anything else government attempts. Breathing through cloth treated as a way to stop a pandemic is no different than expecting insurance to get cheaper by passing a law.

Please stop being selfish by caring for yourself. You could've made the decision to take precautions that seem reasonable based on individual risk factors just like getting insurance that covers what sounds sensible from any company that sells it. Instead, erstwhile free people don't have the option to decline. But I'm sure coverage will be awesome. Why else must you participate?

It's almost like politicians make it worse. Those who profess allegiance to science sure love ignoring experiment results. Purported fans of facts keep voting for the same pompous dolts who vow to solve the problem of making tuition more costly by getting government involved with even more government. Fill in the blanks to feature the awful political solution of your choice.

America needs a president who can be ignored. It's much easier to disregard one who leaves you alone. That happens about as often as a federal success. A wholly imaginary politician who doesn't seize a ridiculous portion of your income or potential would be asking for too much. Criminally inept federal agencies going extinct would mean less legal looting, and then we'd be cruelly taking multiple sources of their fun.

Get back here and bother us. It'd be an incalculable relief to loathe the evil president who isn't making life more expensive by handing out totally free checks. The best argument for making politics less central to life is everything political.

[theliberaltony]

via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

Welcome to FiveThirtyEight’s weekly politics chat. The transcript below has been lightly edited.

micah (Micah Cohen, managing editor): As far as we know, Republicans are pushing ahead with Brett Kavanaugh’s nomination to the Supreme Court — for the moment, anyway — amid accusations of sexual assault and misconduct from at least two women. Nate made a semi-compelling argument that that’s a bad move politically. The counter-argument was succinctly expressed by Washington Free Beacon editor-in-chief Matthew Continetti in an interview with Politico:

“A defeated Kavanaugh nomination would not only demoralize the conservative base, it could seriously jeopardize Trump’s relationship with the conservative legal movement, and that could be crippling for conservative influence in the Trump era.”

So, that’s our question for today: If President Trump withdrew Kavanaugh’s nomination, would that depress conservative turnout in the midterms? And somewhat relatedly, would it have a long-term effect on “Trump’s relationship with the conservative legal movement”?

Give me your topline views, and then we can get into it.

Also, welcome, politics editor Sarah Frostenson, to your first politics chat!!!

sarahf (Sarah Frostenson, politics editor): Hello, hello!

natesilver (Nate Silver, editor in chief): My topline view is that:

It might be partially true, but probably also exaggerated by commentators who are extrapolating their own personal investment in seeing Kavanaugh confirmed to feelings among “the voters” or “the base.”

Even if it’s partly true, the alternatives for the GOP could be a lot worse.

The base might be despondent initially, but there’d be an opportunity to rectify that if Trump successfully rolled out another conservative candidate.

micah: Having a topline view with three parts is very on-brand.

perry (Perry Bacon Jr., senior writer): Trump has appointed a huge number of conservative judges to the federal courts, most notably Neil Gorsuch to the Supreme Court. The conservative legal movement will be fine with him as long as he keeps doing that, so replacing Kavanaugh with another conservative would do the trick. And I think there is very limited evidence that conservative voters, as opposed to conservative activists, are motivated by Supreme Court nominations.

sarahf: Damn, I think Perry took some of my topline views.

I would add, though, that given the partisan divide on issues of sexual misconduct, Kavanaugh withdrawing or President Trump asking for him to withdraw (which I think is unlikely) could backfire among the base.

perry: So you think Republican voters will be turned off because they think Trump would be bowing to liberal views on sexual harassment/misconduct/assault.

micah: Yeah, and maybe that plays more of a role in how the GOP base reacts than their views on the Supreme Court.

sarahf: Yes, I think that could happen. They might see him as weak, giving into liberals, etc.

micah: OK, so let’s take each of those one by one …

First, the idea that Republican/conservative voters really care about the Supreme Court — more so than Democratic voters — does have some evidence to back it up, right?

perry: So the exit polls from 2016 would seem to say that. Among voters who said Supreme Court appointments were the most important factor in their vote — about one-fifth of all voters — Trump beat Hillary Clinton 56 percent to 41 percent. Among the 14 percent who said such appointments were “not a factor at all,” Clinton won 55-37.

Still, I think this is a bit of a misnomer. How much did Clinton talk about the Supreme Court? How much did liberal activists prioritize the court during the campaign? I don’t have a study on this, but my guess is less than Republicans. Remember, Trump felt compelled to put out a list of his likely Supreme Court nominees before he was elected. The court is a core part of the GOP’s campaign message.

Also, it’s a lot easier to say, “I’m deciding who to vote for because of the Supreme Court or abortion,” rather than, “because I have negative attitudes about blacks and Latinos,” which we know motivates a lot of conservative voting.

natesilver: The other issue with that exit poll result is that when you ask voters to volunteer a list of which issues are most important to them, the Supreme Court barely registers.

So, sure, when you remind people about the Supreme Court, many of them say it’s important. And Republicans are a bit more inclined to say so than Democrats, which isn’t meaningless. But it isn’t generally a top-of-mind issue.

perry: It is true, though, that if you wanted to accurately describe Trump’s base or the Republican base, white evangelicals would be a big part of the description. But I don’t know if it follows that therefore because white evangelicals are the base, abortion/LGBT issues motivate them, as opposed to taxes, immigration, health care, etc.

natesilver: Or just overall tribal behavior. They’ve clearly forgiven a lot of Trump’s sins because he’s on their “team.”

micah: Let’s posit for the moment that the prioritization of the Supreme Court among rank-and-file GOP voters is overblown — isn’t it still a priority among GOP activists, Sarah? And doesn’t Trump have to worry about that?

Like, I’m not sure if there’s data to back this up, but I feel pretty confident in saying that Republican activists are more engaged on the courts than Democratic activists.

sarahf: He does, but I would counter that he’s already done quite a bit to remake the federal judiciary. The Supreme Court gets all the attention, but if we look at the lower federal courts, we can see that 26 of Trump’s federal appeals court picks have been confirmed (more than any other recent president at this point in their first term).

micah: Yeah, so it’s unlikely they would abandon him over this?

sarahf: Plus, there’s 142 vacancies to fill across the federal judiciary. More than 100 in U.S. District Courts alone!

perry: Micah, it’s a common view that conservative activists care more about the courts than liberal activists, in part because the Federalist Society has an outsized role on the right, and I don’t think the American Constitution Society (the liberal equivalent) has that same role on the left. But the NAACP Legal Defense Fund, for example, is pretty focused on judges and the law, and it is longstanding and influential.

I would say, though, that Trump has been more invested in appointing judges in his first two years in office than Barack Obama was.

I think we can say that confidently.

sarahf: And to Perry’s point, I think this registers with his evangelical base.

natesilver: We’re also having this fight over Kavanaugh against a backdrop where we’re in the midst of what looks like it’s going to be a blue midterm, maybe even a wave year for Democrats. And that tends to color voters’ impressions of everything.

Because the public is skeptical of Trump and the GOP overall, everything they do is going to be taken in a more skeptical light.

So some fights that might be winnable in, say, 2014 might have a lot more downside for Republicans this year.

micah: OK, but Nate, how do you square the exit poll results showing people who cared about the Supreme Court most overwhelmingly backed Trump with the open-ended Gallup question finding hardly anyone thinks of it off the top of their head?

natesilver: If you ask someone about something, of course they’re gonna be more cognizant of it.

It’s kind of like if I ask you, “How important is personal fitness to you?” Most people are going to say it’s “somewhat” or “very” important. But a lot of those “somewhat important” people probably aren’t going to the gym, aren’t really watching their diet, etc.

micah: It’s very important to me!

I play basketball every day!

Oh, you meant in general.

natesilver: I’m not making an accusation about you personally, Micah, but nice #humblebrag.

micah: lol

sarahf: That’s fair criticism, but we are talking about a conservative majority on the highest court in the land. It could be that it really does matter to Republican voters more this time around.

natesilver: But, Sarah, if they don’t get Kavanaugh, they probably get … someone equally conservative. Or maybe more conservative.

Unless they screw it up by spending several weeks fighting this possibly very stupid fight, to the point where they jeopardize the timing of his replacement.

sarahf: Right, and the bench they have to pull from isn’t weak; this is from July:

Yeah, it’s 41 days until the midterms? Democracy moves slow. I think the reluctance of the GOP to move on from Kavanaugh is tied to that.

perry: There is a core of Republican voters who care deeply about, say, limiting abortion and were not happy with the Supreme Court’s gay marriage ruling. I just think people who volunteer for campaigns and knock on doors are pretty politically active and will not make the weird decision of not voting Republican simply because Trump, who has executed lots of GOP policies, isn’t able to get Kavanaugh through. They might be annoyed. But the idea that they will not vote at all seems far-fetched. The people I would worry about if I were Trump or Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell are voters who backed Trump in 2016 but often stay home at midterms and might do so again. I doubt that group is following every development in this story.

natesilver: Plus, there’s the chance that Trump doesn’t abide by the script and nominates Thomas Hardiman, who’s more moderate than some of the other names on the short list, or something. But, again, this isn’t about finding a good outcome for the GOP; it’s about cutting their losses.

micah: OK, so let’s talk about Sarah’s point that this could be viewed by GOP voters as Trump caving on a cultural issue more than about the court in particular.

There’s definitely evidence that cultural issues have a lot of sway with voters, no?

natesilver: I’m not sure what you mean by “cultural issues” — but, sure, in some sense cultural issues (especially if we recognize the very, very strong overlap between “culture” and race) is the whole reason Trump was elected.

perry: I’m not sure. But if I were Sens. Ted Cruz or Dean Heller, I would not equivocate on this issue and suggest that I believe Christine Blasey Ford (the woman who says Kavanaugh sexually assaulted her when they were both in high school). Just in terms of politics, I do think the GOP base expects Republican politicians to view sexual misconduct claims skeptically, particularly those made against Republican men.

sarahf: Perry wrote this piece earlier in the week: Republicans largely don’t believe Ford’s accusations are credible.

natesilver: At the same time, #MeToo has also been challenging to a lot of male elites. They clearly care about it a lot. And, again, there’s probably a lot of transference wherein they assign their own feelings to those of the amorphous base.

micah: How does Trump figure into all this?

natesilver: I think the best thing Trump could do for the GOP is to stay the hell out of it.

He’s absolutely the last person you want talking about the credibility of women accusers.

But, yeah, if he invests himself too much in the story, it becomes more painful for Republicans to fail to confirm Kavanaugh.

perry: He was literally criticizing one of the accusers while this chat was happening.

natesilver: I know. And if McConnell is sort of play-acting and ultimately would be just as happy to replace Kavanaugh with someone else, Trump is a big wild card there.

micah: Nate, you and Trump and McConnell are not on the same page.

natesilver: I’m not sure that “Cocaine Mitch” and I aren’t on the same page.

micah: We argued about this on the FiveThirtyEight Politics podcast, but I don’t see how you square Mitch’s actions so far with a strategy of ditching Kavanaugh?

natesilver: There’s a good chance he’s trying to save face.

He may also be trying to expedite the process so that Kavanaugh gets voted up or down (or has to be withdrawn) within a week instead of after several weeks.

I put a lot of emphasis on the fact that McConnell reportedly didn’t want Kavanaugh to be chosen originally.

I give him some credit for just being a good overall strategist who sees a couple of moves ahead.

perry: I understand Nate’s argument, but I found McConnell’s remarks on Friday (in a speech with conservative activists, he pledged that Republicans would “plow right through” the opposition to Kavanaugh and get him confirmed) to be somewhat in tension with that. But maybe the remarks were part of the strategy.

He does think ahead. I agree.

natesilver: Yeah, I will say — I was more convinced of the McConnell-is-bluffing theory before the story got so much more involved with the new accusers and Trump tweeting and everything else.

Maybe now McConnell has to commit to the bit.

sarahf: I dunno. I think that at this point, McConnell is busy on doing what he has to do to get Kavanaugh nominated. He might have had reservations about him initially, but I think all signs point to him pushing this through. This was written before news of other allegations broke, but I haven’t seen any reporting that makes me think this isn’t still the case.

micah: +1

OK, to wrap up: If the consensus here is that the danger to Republicans in the midterms of pulling Kavanaugh is overblown, is the same true of the danger of pushing him through?

In other words, would voters who are currently GOP-leaning or at least open to voting for a Republican candidate react negatively to Kavanaugh getting confirmed? (Obviously Democrats would.)

natesilver: I’m not sure you necessarily encounter a point of diminishing returns. If, I don’t know, 60 percent of women are slated to vote Democratic for Congress, there’s still 40 percent of women who aren’t yet planning to do so.

It’s also always probably true that pundits (and data journalists?) overrate the long-term electoral importance of whatever the story of the day is. Although we’re close enough to Nov. 6 that this may be fairly fresh in voters’ minds.

perry: It is hard for me to see a bad political outcome here for Democrats. Their base is angry about this issue and will likely be more so if Kavanaugh is confirmed. Democratic senators who are up for re-election this year in red states — Joe Donnelly, Joe Manchin and Heidi Heitkamp, for example — know their states better than I do, but it’s difficult for me to see a “no” vote on Kavanaugh hurting them. Cruz has to vote “yes,” as does Heller, but I don’t think they will be eager to defend that vote.

sarahf: The question of undecided voters is an important one. And on the subject of Kavanuagh, more than a quarter of voters say they don’t know enough to have an opinion, according to a Wall Street Journal/NBC News conducted last week. But the latest polls definitely aren’t good news for Kavanaugh (and this was before the New Yorker story). That WSJ/NBC poll found that 38 percent of registered voters oppose the Kavanaugh nomination, up from 29 percent in August. Below is a table from an article we did on Kavanaugh’s declining popularity (including the shift in the WSJ/NBC poll):

Early signs that Kavanaugh’s popularity has dipped

Polls of Brett Kavanaugh’s approval conducted before and after Sept. 16, when The Washington Post published Christine Blasey Ford’s allegations of sexual assault

Net Support Pollster Before AFter Change NBC/WSJ +4 -4 -8 Morning Consult +5 +1 -4 HuffPost/YouGov -6 -4 +2 Ipsos -3 -9 -6

micah: Yeah, the Journal article on the poll said “college-educated women are particularly sour on Mr. Kavanaugh: 49% of them oppose his nomination, while 28% support it.”

natesilver: There’s a decent argument that even though Kavanaugh might be unpopular, he isn’t any more unpopular than Trump or, say, the GOP’s health care bill.

At the same time, there’s this:

You've watched us produce a string of pretty good results for the Democrats over the last week. It's only two polls being released today, but it may be that other polls in the field over the same period might be finding a similar lurch to the left

— Nate Cohn (@Nate_Cohn) September 25, 2018

Lot of particularly bad polls for the GOP this week, especially in upscale suburban-type places.

sarahf: But Gallup found that the Republican Party’s favorability rating among Americans is the highest it’s been in more than seven years?

The difference between the Democrats and Republicans is 1 point, but still!

micah: That was weird.

perry: That was interesting

natesilver: Yeah, I’m not sure what to make of that.

micah: On that note! Final thoughts?

natesilver: I get that there are a lot of Republican elites who would love to see Kavanaugh confirmed and who don’t want to back down from a fight. I think they ought to think about whether this is really the hill they want to die on.

perry: Always be skeptical of claims that are along the lines of party X will face a huge electoral backlash unless they follow my policy position Y. You will see a lot of conservative pundits who are very invested in legal issues say that rank-and-file voters are following this stuff closely and will stay home unless Kavanaugh is on the court next month. I doubt that voters are really thinking this way. (Dem strategists do it too.)

sarahf: My main final thought: I look forward to moderating these chats (rather than having to answer questions).

But in terms of the real question at hand, I think conservatives think they have more to lose (a conservative majority on the Supreme Court) from abandoning Kavanaugh’s nomination than from ramming him through.

Plus, I think there’s enough evidence to show that the Republican Party doesn’t really see the allegations against Kavanaugh as a problem, which is reflected in how party leaders have chosen to combatively press onward.

micah: FIN

[rwise]

Irrationally Successful - how to make a rational benefit work in irrational categories

What we know we ought to do and what we actually do are very different things in the lives of humans. Everyone who has ever tried to improve themselves learns this humbling truth. 

People who make big and positive changes in their lives often say that the secret is to trick yourself into making these changes. If you focus your energy on avoiding what tempts you, then you’re still focused on the temptation. You need to find something else to wrap your busy mind around. It’s better to spend your energy on a new good habit than it is to “white knuckle” your renunciation of a bad one.  

Knowing that something is better for us is pretty much useless. We have to fall in love with the change we’re making. Emotion drives us far more deeply than knowledge.

Why wouldn’t this also apply to brands as well? 

If you have a new and improved version of something that involves making a sacrifice, wouldn’t you also try to trick your prospect into seeing it as something they must have on its own terms?  

But many marketers lose sight of this. They are earnest and well-intentioned. They want to talk to consumers the same way they talk about their product or service inside their own organizations. “This is such a good idea. Everyone will be so much better off when they see how good it is. Isn’t that great? We are a force for good in the world.” 

Well-intentioned…but potentially deluded. 

Let’s look at five campaigns which all got stellar results by ignoring the rational argument and instead “tricked” their consumer into buying into it.

1. “Keep Texas Beautiful” becomes “Don’t Mess with Texas.”

Among the different states of America, Texas has one of the feistier cultural identities. In fact, it’s looked at to this day by the rest of the country as a swaggering, loud and assertive culture. And Texans take that in their stride.

But this was not on the minds of the Texas Transportation Authority. They were looking at their highways strewn with trash in the 1980s and they were deeply ashamed of their pitiful state.

They got a sizeable budget to run an anti-littering campaign. Signs would go up on highways and appeal to Texans, proud of their state’s natural beauty, that would say “Keep Texas Beautiful.” 

And they even got an ad agency, one of Texas’s best, GSD&M to agree to create the campaign.

They conducted research into who has the highest rates of littering. The research turned up a prospect they called “Bubbas”: young men 18-35, masculine, brash, gun and pickup truck owners. They loved their state but didn’t connect with the idea of “Keep Texas Beautiful.” To them, it sounded like their grandmother talking and they weren’t thinking of their grandmother as they barreled down the highway with an empty beer bottle in their hands.

GSD&M conceived of a completely different message. “Don’t Mess with Texas.” And their target loved it. It has an implicit “F@*k You” to anyone who doesn’t “get” what Texas is all about. It appealed to their pride in order to compel them to make a humble behavior change. 

When GSD&M presented the campaign, their client, still not really understanding the strategy, directed them to add the word “Please” before “Don’t Mess with Texas” so that it wouldn’t be rude. Fortunately, the agency prevailed and such a tragic mistake never happened.

Result: within 4 years, the campaign reduced littering by a staggering 72%. 

2. Las Vegas: “More than Gambling” becomes “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas.”

Las Vegas was one of the top vacation destinations in the U.S. but it wanted more. The Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority looked at how their city stacked up in the minds of vacation decision makers compared to cruise lines, Caribbean resorts, Hawaii and Cancun. Their research showed that the number one equity for Las Vegas was gambling and not everybody wanted to go somewhere just to gamble.

“We need a campaign that says there’s a lot more in Vegas than gambling,” they told their agency, R&R Partners. “Show people our modern airport, all the great entertainers we have in town, the superb hotels and fine dining, the spectacle of the beautiful desert and surrounding mountains. Find a catchy way to say, “Vegas is more than casinos,’ there’s your brief.”

But R&R Partners ignored the implicit direction to “clean up” Las Vegas and instead showed the client their research into what Vegas meant to people who went there: feeling more free to be someone they couldn’t be at home.

They came up with the idea of “What Happens Here, Stays Here.” They sidestepped the rational message of “more than gambling” and instead talked about Vegas like it was an anonymous club, some kind of “Eyes Wide Shut” experience. It neither talked about nor ignored gambling. Gambling became a subtext in a different kind of drama, one of escaping the normal boundaries of everyday life.

Result: the campaign grew holiday traffic to Las Vegas by 26%.

3. Miller Lite: from “beer with no carbohydrates” to “Tastes Great! Less Filling!”

There’s a reason it’s called a “beer belly.” For beer, such a marvelously comforting and sociable beverage, is loaded with carbohydrates. Drink 2 or 3 every day, and soon you’ll be sporting your own distended gut.

So the first drinkable beer with reduced carbohydrates should have made its owner a fortune, no?

No so fast, Gablinger’s Beer taught us. This was a good tasting beer that went out and told male beer drinkers, “Here’s a beer with essentially no carbohydrates.” And they pointed out, “It won’t fill you up.” But it bombed. And its flop convinced Anheuser Busch, the owners of the leading brand Budweiser to stay away from this category because its research showed that “real men don’t drink light beer.”

The category’s No. 2, Miller Brewing Company, saw AB’s reticence as an opening. They could do better than Gablinger’s and if they played their cards right, create a new sub-category and benefit from first mover advantage. They created a brand called Lite, which at first was kept separate from the Miller brand but, once successful would be integrated and known, as it is today, as Miller Lite.

Their agency, McCann at first, then Backer Spielvogel, came up with a way to position Lite beer as a brand “real men” could drink. They hired a whole bevy of famous athletes, ones known for their masculine charisma and jokey persona, and place them in old-fashioned pubs, taverns and corner bars. They would then engage in a favorite drinking pastime which is divide into teams and have a spirited argument. But this one wouldn’t be about which city has the best football team. It would be about what makes Lite beer so good. “Tastes great!” one team would shout while the other team would fire back, “Less filling!”

Now the “less filling” part of the proposition spoke to the primordial beer drinker. When you’re having a good time with your buddies, like the guys in the ads were clearly doing, why would you only drink one beer? With Miller Lite, you could keep on drinking and not feel heavy. It sounds stupid when it’s spelled out and you’re not even conscious of it when you watch the fun. But the message is planted. It’s not a “considerate” or “progressive” way of drinking beer. It’s a license to enjoy beer even more.

Result: Miller created the single biggest new category of beer in 50 years and established market dominance in this space. It would take the overall leader, Budweiser, more than ten painful years to catch up with Miller Lite and get its “fair share” for Bud Light.

4. Whole Foods Markets: from “health food store” to “Whole Paycheck.”

The story of Whole Foods Markets is not about an ad campaign but about a positioning created through the shopper experience.

In the 1970s, the first “health food stores” began to appear on college campuses and in neighborhoods with high concentrations of liberal-minded creative class. They were independent retailers who eschewed the colorful and manipulative-looking displays that mainstream grocers used. They would only sell foods that were rationally good for you, sold in sincere but unadorned packaging. Their shoppers were not there for hedonistic pleasure but to connect with their higher selves and affirm their belief in lives of health and sustainability.

In the 80s many progressive brands began to realize that there would be a fusion of the “fancy foods” and “health food” and began to make packaging with more of a sense of artisanal pleasure. And the first chains began to appear – including Whole Foods.

Whole Foods rode the trend and maneuvered into market dominance by making the shopping experience more beautiful and pleasurable than mainstream groceries. Having a Whole Foods store in your neighborhood became a badge of pride for the creative class everywhere. And Millennials began to jokingly refer to Whole Foods as “Whole Paycheck” for they knew that the experience of shopping there was so intoxicating you would not only buy much more than you had planned you would spend more just for the pleasure of bringing home absolutely perfect olives, cheeses and breads.

Result: the market leader in an entirely new space and one of the single most profitable grocery chains that has ever existed.

5. Durex: from “think about STDs and unwanted pregnancy” to “turn off to turn on”

The rational argument for wearing condoms is so powerful yet many men who should be wearing one aren’t. Having sex, for men, is a game of confidence. Anything that deflates the mood immediately drains away the spirit which propels lovemaking. Which is why the rational argument doesn’t work. It compels the executive brain to contemplate consequences at precisely the moment when the executive brain needs to be silent and let the reptilian brain take over.

So talking about a brand’s performance in comfortably preventing STDs and unwanted pregnancy is not going to create a strong consumer bond with the brand.

Which is why Reckitt Benckiser invests in campaigns which avoid the rational benefit of condoms and instead celebrate the joy of sexual intimacy. 

The enemy is their latest global drive is not disease and unwanted pregnancy, it’s our mobile phones. The insight is that the mood for sex takes time to develop and if we’re all wrapped up in our texts, emails and Instagram, we never get there. Hence the slogan “Turn Off to Turn On.” (And the theme of “PLAY” for their mobile activations at music festivals perfectly fits this.) It’s ingenious, really. Suddenly, we’re thinking tenderly about real intimacy, without getting too high-minded about it (this is a condom after all). And we’re not thinking at all about the supposed rational benefit of condoms.

Result: Durex has achieved number one market share globally.

Putting it work for your brand

So what do these case histories teach us about being “irrationally successful?”  Four rules of thumb stand out:

Check your brand purpose at the door. It’s great that you’ve got one. It gives your brand motive and soul. But be careful not to wear it on your sleeve and forget about the importance of being relevant and creative. Dove made that mistake with its “all shapes and sizes” packaging and it backfired. Pepsi did it with Kendall Jenner and the same happened. Having a brand purpose doesn’t give you an all access pass to your prospect’s interest and acceptance.

Understand why people use your category. What are the deep drivers? Have you studied these as deeply as the problem you’re trying to solve? How do these deep drivers relate to their own identity? Miller Lite knew that beer drinking was all about male bonding and their campaign celebrated that. Las Vegas figured out that a holiday is all about feeling free and found a way to embed its own unique proposition in that feeling.

Look at how your rational proposition connects with the deep drivers. Miller Lite let beer drinkers enjoy drinking even more. Texas made littering into a desecration of tribal pride. Vegas celebrated the escapism of gambling but made into something much more. How might you achieve a similar effect for your brand?

Embed your proposition in culture. Durex made the Internet the enemy, not STDs. “Turn Off to Turn On” has pop cultural resonance. Same with “Don’t Mess with Texas” and “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas.” It’s not enough to be relevant. You can be relevant and still be boring. Creativity is the key here. And it takes creativity to see the connection between your proposition and something happening in local or global pop culture that your brand can capitalize on. Look for it and you’ll find it.