#if anyone knows who posed this question no hate I just think it’s freaking hilarious

[bruh-myguy-what]

NO PLEASE WAIT IM CHOKING

THEY COULDN’T EVEN TAKE THE TIME TO LOOK UP JESSE

IM CRYING REDDIT WAIT

I CANNOT BREATHE

[onestowatch]

Artists on Their Favorite and Least Favorite Animal Crossing Villagers

In the world of hard-hitting journalism, few topics are as divisive and polarizing as Animal Crossing, namely the subject of best and worst villagers. From tier lists to spending an obscene amount of Nook Miles tickets in the search of the “perfect” villager, the release of Animal Crossing: New Horizons has brought with it a seedy blackmarket. Want a smug office working cat with heterochromia? Well, I hope you are prepared to shell out upwards of 20 million bells. 

From Queer Eye’s Bobby Berk critiquing players’ virtual homes to Elijah Wood sliding in your DMs to sell turnips, seemingly no one is safe from this newfound reality. So, as we navigate our way through a world in which Bobby isn’t pleased with my island home having a room dedicated solely to turnip storage, we posed one impossible question to a few of our favorite artist friends. “Who is your favorite and least favorite Animal Crossing villager?”

BENEE

"I don’t like Moose because he only ever wants to talk to me about working out, and I don’t like how he calls me shorty! Katt is probably my favourite because she seems interested in having a chat when I approach her."

Griffin McElroy

“Roald is my favorite Animal Crossing villager by an enormous margin, and was the first creature I tracked down once I got my hands on New Horizons. He’s a penguin who falls into the ‘jock’ category, despite the fact that he’s usually chilling in his igloo-house with a sandwich or a cold one in hand. He cares very much about my sick gains, and I appreciate it to no end.

My least favorite villager is Zucker, who is an octopus that most other players seem to love, but boy, he's challenging. His head resembles takoyaki, which is to say, a fried dough ball filled with minced octopus, impaled on a stick and drizzled with brown sauce. What dark magics breathed life into Zucker? Should I want to eat him? Because I kind of do, and I don't need that energy on my island, thanks.”

Dayglow

“Favorite has to be Sparro by far, like woah! He’s so freaking chill. Least favorite was easily Zipper— good riddance. He had such creepy unwelcome vibes.”

mxmtoon

"My favorite Animal Crossing Villager is Stitches because I think he looks like the funniest and he really likes bugs. He lives on a dirt floor, he's an airplane king, and, despite all odds, has flourished and thrived in his life. I don't even know if I have a least favorite but if I had to pick it would be Pate, she's a duck and just really rude. Her eyebrows also look like W's.”

Cavetown

“Villagers can be a very controversial topic in the Animal crossing community. There seems to be two types of people when it comes to villager preferences - the ones who just love them all equally, and the ones who unapologetically have an overwhelming hatred for specific animals in the game. I’m of course totally against bullying in most cases, but animal crossing villagers are the one exception. 

I won’t name names about the ones I hate in the game as not to hit any nerves for anyone reading, but for example there’s this one resident I have - let’s just say her name rhymes with Banberra - who has being going around pissing off all my best friends in town. She leaves my sweet Sydney and Marina walking around furious for no good reason. I’ve been trying to bully her out of my town but she’s been there since the beginning and seems adamant on staying. She’s my least favourite right now because of how she’s been treating my other villagers.

As for favourites, I could go on forever!! In my current town, Poncho was one of my first two villagers and I decided we’re best buds. He’s a jock villager so is always talking about pumping iron, and I love him so much that I built a whole outdoor gym for him in my town. I tend to unconditionally love the Octopus and Frog villagers. He doesn’t really count as a villager, but my favourite character in the whole game is Leif. I would literally put my life on the line if it meant his flowers would bloom perfectly.”

chloe moriondo

“Pietro is my favorite ACNH villager even though I don’t have him on my island (yet)!!!!!  I think he gets a lot of hatred thrown his way for being a clown, which I personally relate to, and he is colorful and cute and fun and sheepy and I would lay down my life for him. He is by far my favorite villager since I got him in my town in New Leaf.

My least favorite villager is Moose, even though I weirdly still respect him for being so ugly and notorious amongst the ACNH community. In fact, I would almost call myself a fan of him just because of how gross and hilarious I think his little manly mouse face is. I would not want him in my town ever, but I am an advocate of Ugly ACNH Villagers’ Rights so I wouldn’t hit him with a net or be mean to him if he were to visit. (Would NOT ask him to move in though.)”

Jorge (Peach Tree Rascals)

“My personal favorite character is (not surprisingly) K.K Slider. Any dog with that much swag and music playing ability deserves all the love and respect in the world. As for my least favorite it’d probably have to be Pietro. Something about a creepy clown like that just doesn’t sit right with me, It’s just so creepy looking. An honorable mention would be Papi the horse, simply because his name is Papi. Like c’mon that’s hilarious! Plus his dreams of being a comic book writer remind me of when I wanted to be a comic artist when I was much younger.”

Almondmilkhunni

“I like Goldie the most because she’s just super cute. And I dislike Moose, because I hate his eyebrows. He’s a little rat weirdo.”

khai dreams

“I love Roald. He is a weird little beady-eyed dude, but I adore him. He was one of the villagers in my town back when I played Animal Crossing on the GameCube. Penguins were my favorite animal at the time, so I was so happy when he moved in. He is just a dumb little baby and I love him for it. Bonus fav character is Coco. She is just so weird and creepy and cute. She is my wife. She will be my wife. 

My least favorite villager is Colton. F Colton!! He showed up in my camp and wouldn't leave until I let him live in my village. I report him every day to Isabelle, but it seems to make no difference. In his biography it says his skill is ‘Writing about pickles;’ what the hell? stfu Colton. Write about pickles in someone else's town!!!”

[crimsonbluemoon]

Working For Love: A TerrorMoo Story 6/17

Ahhhh my lungs hate me. >.< But I hope to be better for tomorrow. Anyways, please enjoy this new installment! 

Previous Part

Start from the beginning

Brian was going to kill Luke.

“Why is he on the treadmills, anyways?” The sour tone he used didn’t hide any of his irritation at the scene playing out in front of him. Normally, getting to walk into his shift to see Brock there was a great way to start his day. Tyler had already given up on the expectation that the first twenty minutes of his time wouldn’t be spent saying hello to Brock and catching up on pointless conversation. It was the expectation now, and since Tyler had a habit of giving all of the harder clients to him, Brian felt he’d earned his time with Brock. So when he parked his car next to the toyota camry that he knew to be Brock’s, he had a bit more of a grin on his face walking into work.

But that quickly lost its shine when seeing Luke casually chit chatting with Brock on the treadmills. 

“You know he is allowed to work-out here, right? Same as all the other employees who work here.” Evan’s ability to point out useless information didn’t make any of Brian’s irritation drop, eyes narrowing at the laugh Brock let out over something the grinning asshole had said to him. 

“Tell your boyfriend to come get his lapdog,” Brian snapped out, glancing around as if expecting the idiot to appear on command.

“He’s not my boyfriend, and he can’t because he’s getting my oil changed.” Evan answered the question without embarrassment, eyes glued to his phone screen. He was probably texting Jonathan even as they talked about him.

“How are you two not fucking?” 

“Cause he won’t ask.” Years ago, when Evan and Jonathan first met after Luke got his trainer job at Tyler’s gym, talking about sex with a guy would have made him freak out. The gay awakening process between his co-worker had been painful but hilarious to be a part of. Brian had done his best to support and tease Evan through the whole thing. He had to admit that Evan choosing Jonathan’s fumbling, messy personality over Luke’s put together, flirty persona had been a swerve he hadn’t expected, but now it only made sense. Jonathan and Evan looked good as a pair, and their sexual chemistry (despite never having sex and only kissing when they got drunk) was off the charts. Fate seemed destined to put them together. 

It’d only take another twenty years for them to do something about it. 

“I have blue balls for you. Seeing you be so-” His rant cut off when Brock’s laugh entered the air again, making his head snap over to the treadmills. Brock’s cheeks were flushed, but it wasn’t from the cool down he was casually strolling through. It seemed to be from Luke, who didn’t understand that the arms of the machines were not meant to be crossed over when he leaned closer to Brock to say something. Brock had his shy aura still up, but he didn’t show any hint of anxiety at Luke’s closer proximity. 

Brian was going to lose his mind. 

“Hey, question.” Tyler didn’t notice (or maybe he didn’t care) about stepping in front of Brian’s view, blocking Luke’s blatant flirting with Brock. “What the fuck do I pay you two for? Because the spray bottles by the bikes are empty, and I see you two hanging out behind the counter like you’re jerking each other off.” 

“That’s Brian’s zone.” Evan threw him under the bus with no remorse, not even looking up from his phone. Brian normally would give a snarky remark, but the task would give him an excuse to walk by Brock and Luke. He practically leaped over the counter without explanation, rushing by the narrowed glare of Tyler.

“On it, boss.” 

“Why do I know that’s bullshit?” Tyler’s grumble was stratigically ignored by Brian when he scurried through the gym, feeling his shoes skid on the floor from how quickly he stopped in front of Brock and Luke. 

“Having fun?” He really sounded like a jealous boyfriend, if he gave the thought more than a second of his time. Naturally he didn’t, keeping his attention on the bright eyes now looking at him from the treadmill. Brock looked more happy than surprised, and the smile he gave helped push back some of the negative vines growing around Brian’s heart.

“Hey. You didn’t come say hi today, I was wondering what was up.” 

“You miss me?” He asked, hoping the tease of his tone would hide his own heart’s extra beat. Brock had come to expect him to visit, and having someone look forward to his greeting was nice. 

“Like sand in a desert.” But Luke ruined their wonderful moment by being witty and charismatic. Brock’s eyes left Brian to take in Luke’s side grin, a look that Brian himself liked to use to play up his charm. It was annoying and frustratingly good-looking on Luke, and Brian wanted to smother it with his own hands. “How come you never told him about my kickboxing class?”

“Because he didn’t ask,” Brian answered quickly, knowing too much of his annoyance showed by the arched eyebrow Luke sent back. Brock seemed more confused as the conversation continued, eyes flickering between them while staying quiet. 

“Haven’t seen around the bags lately, either. Too busy spending all your time in here, though I’m getting the feeling I know why.”

“Yeah, cause I can already beat you without the training.” It was a statement that really didn’t have any backing; Brian was in good shape, but Luke was a trained boxer and he’d never beaten him in a match. Luke’s snort of a laugh made Brian’s hackles rise and his frown set in, hands clenched in fists beside him.

“We could go right now, if you’re feeling ballsy. Might be a little embarrassing if I kick your ass in front of our new friend, though.” Brock wasn’t Luke’s friend. He’d only talked to him for a half hour, which meant he hadn’t even scratched the surface of Brock’s amazingness! There was so much to Brock that couldn’t be shoved into one little conversation. Brian had been talking with him for months now, and he still felt he’d barely scratched the surface. So for Luke to claim a friendship was just dumb. He wanted to say as much, too, but Brock finally found his voice and intervened. 

“Can I have my lesson today?” The blurt out didn’t seem thought out, if the look of horror that crashed over Brock’s face was any indication. Also, logic would claim that Brock asking for a private lesson after he already did his workout didn’t make sense. But like the stubborn man Brian had come to know (because he’d talk to him more than 30 minutes), Brock held his head high and kept his eyes on Brian’s face. “If you have time, I mean.” 

“I’d make time if I didn’t.” 

The comment was too honest, and he probably would get ribbed for it later when Luke told their group. He could already see his co-worker yanking his phone out to probably text the group chat about his lame reply. But Brock’s eyes widened slightly, not with embarrassment or fear, but a look of awe that made the corniness worth it. The back of his mind wondered if anyone in Brock’s past had put him first; he never did himself, and always looked so stunned at the smallest of favors Brian did for him. There was a softness in the face looking down at him from the treadmill that showed more than just surprise; it was naive gratitude. Like for some reason, Brock didn’t get that he deserved to be put first. 

“You got something in mind?” Brian asked, and it took Brock a moment to pull out of his reverie and glance away. 

“I didn’t know if you had any other yoga poses that helped out with anxiety. I tend to have a lot of that, and… it just seemed to help.” Brian grinned at Brock’s sudden shyness, something he only seemed to really pull out around him. It made their moments feel more special, like Brock was tentatively aware his time with Brian was different. It certainly was for the trainer, who held out his hand and boldly led Brock off the treadmill for no reason other than wanting to. 

“Sure. Let’s go grab a room and work out some of that energy.” Luke’s comment of ‘texting that too, Casanova’ was ignored by Brian, focused on the way Brock’s fingers twitched against his own. Despite their nervous motions, Brock didn’t pull the touch away, letting Brian lead him. The pace they took to get to the back room was slow, but if Brock caught onto Brian’s altered speed, he stayed mum. Brian’s smile refused to stay as discreet, wide and proud while making sure anyone in the gym could see the moment his fingers slipped between Brock’s. The feeling was nice, and the ghost of Brock’s palm tingled against his own long after Brock had left the gym. 

It was almost enough to stop the groan of embarrassment from sprouting from his chest when seeing the 103 messages in the group chat about ‘Brian’s alpha stand-off’ with Luke. Luke spared no details of the re-telling, leaving Brian open to all the torment of his co-workers. One of them had even taken a picture of Brian leading Brock off the treadmill (the angle implied Evan, though he couldn’t prove it). He didn’t think it could get any worse; then Scotty’s memes started pouring in.

No, Brian wasn’t going to kill Luke; he was going to kill everyone.

Here you go! Sorry about the delay, I hope the two chapters make up for it. So as always, please like, reblog, and let me know what you think! <3

[sparklyaxolotlstudent]

Ladybug Puppet Show

How to Succeed Thanks to Spite Part 3

“what”

That was the flat reaction of Nino during lunch break, when Alya had checked the Ladyblog after sitting with Marinette and him to get lunch, and had told them the number of views their video had gotten.

“A million views.” Said Alya, still not believing it.

“But we just posted it yesterday! Even your most popular video hasn’t passed the thousand views in a day!”

“Well, like 20 views of those views are mine” confessed Marinette.

“Same” Replied Adrien, putting his tray down and sitting at Marinette’s side. “That video was hilarious, and everyone seems to hate the movie, so it’s natural it went viral.”

“Viral? We went Black Plague!”

“Oh yeah, other ladybug blogs are linking to your video too” informed Nathaniel, who sat at the other side of Marinette.  

“… You follow other ladybug blogs?”

“… well, the Daily Ladybugle did pay me for some art for their headers, soooo…”

“Traitor”

“Cheapstake”

Alya and Nathaniel blew a raspberry at each other and then laughed at their own in joke.

“Weren’t you freaking out?”

“Oh right, sorry.  A MILLION VIEWS?”

The day went normally after that, with Alya checking every now and then the ladyblog, with the views numbers getting bigger and bigger each time. Even Miss Mendeleiev congratulated Nino and Alya during class, although she did point some of the weak points the video had, which at first annoyed Alya, but she took her advice seriously when Ms. Mendeleiev had told her “Good Work”.

The day of classes finished, Miss Bustier dismissed the class and while everyone was gathering their things, Alya’s phone buzzed, indicating a new e-mail. She decided to look at it.

“WHAT THE… bug” she quickly corrected when she noticed everyone was looking at her. Luckily their teacher was gone already, as was half the class.

“What’s wrong?” asked Marinette and Nino almost in unison.  

“That… GUY!” said Alya in a very angry tone. Marinette immediately motioned to reassure her friend, not wanting her to be akumatized. Alya gave her phone to Nino, who read quickly through the e-mail.

“Whoah dude! That’s not nice at all!” Half the people who had gathered around them questioned what wrong, with the other half giving reassurance to Alya. “It’s a cease and desist letter from the lawyers of the director of the Ladybug Movie. Apparently they saw our video and want it down. They even say that if we don’t delete the video they will take the whole Ladyblog down”

Everyone started to protest.

“They can do that?”

“Legally no, but I don’t doubt they will make it very very hard for Alya to keep it” Answered Adrien. “That guy is a real piece of work.”

“But it’s not fair, we worked hard in that video!”

“Unfortunately, you guys used material from the trailer and that is most likely copyrighted”

“It should still fall under ‘fair use’ as a parody”

“Still, if this is really real, we can’t afford That Guy suing us.”

“Well, your video is awesome. Why don’t you make it again but without any of his material?”

Everyone looked at Kim as if he had grown a second head. Alya was about to protest the unfairness of having to work again, but relented, as Kim’s idea was actually good. Nino seemed to think the same.

“That’s genius! That way we can claim we are making a parody of Ladybug and Chat Noir themselves instead of that awful movie!”

“Wouldn’t that be a little mean to them? Like, it will look like you’re making fun of our heroes”

“I’m sure they’ll be fine with that” Marinette added, but Alya was thinking.

“No, no, Rose is right; it could be seen as something mean. I’ll ask Ladybug and Chat Noir when I can, until then, that video is going down.”

“I’m pretty sure they’ll be fine with you making a parody of them. They probably already saw the original video too!”

Alya and Nino looked at Adrien weirdly.

“Holy cat, I never thought of that! What if they didn’t like the video? What if they thought we were making fun of them?”

“Oh my phone! What if they agree with That Guy?”

“Guys relax, as Ladybug’s best friend, I’ll ask her next time I see her”

And now everyone looked at Lila. Alya had to use all her willpower to not laugh at her face. She muttered a “thank you” and along with her closest friends, she went out of the classroom and the school.

<('-'<) ^('-')^ v('-')v (>'-')>

Ladybug was a bit nervous. How would she be able to convince Chat to patrol near Alya’s, when they almost never got there? She lived in a nice neighborhood without many incidents, so unless an akuma or another trouble got them near her, they barely went there.

She saw Chat very near the bakery, almost giving her a heart attack. Damn cat was too close… she should be more careful or he could end up thinking she was in love with ‘Marinette’ or something even more awkward.

“Hey Kitty”

“M’Lady, How are you in this purrecious night?”

“Good good. Uhm..”

“Hey, I was thinking about Alya’s video, and I think we should swing by and tell her how much we loved it!”

Ladybug smiled; she loved it when Chat and she were in the same wavelength. She nodded and they went right to Alya’s, which, unsurprisingly, was looking out for them.

They talked about the video and Ladybug had to feign surprise at the cease and desist, while Chat had some words of choice that he would probably don’t repeat in front of kids. Luckily Etta and Ella were playing in the living room and he had to censor himself, after both girls glared very effectively at him.

“It was a cool video. We laughed a lot at it yesterday”

“Really? It didn’t offend you guys?”

“Nah, you were making fun of that awful movie…”

“And even if you were making fun of us, it would be cool. It sort of humanizes us, unlike that movie who tried too hard to make us otherworldly and unapproachable.”

“So… my friends and I were thinking about maybe doing another video without material from the movie… but I wanted to ask first because it might look like we were making fun of you guys and.. “

Ladybug raised her hand and placed it in Alya’s shoulder in a gesture of reassurance. “Don’t worry about it. Like I said, it humanizes us, and I bet you and your friends will make an amazing work with it.”

“Yeah, you have our blessings! Just make sure to get my rugged handsomeness and witty humor right” said Chat while doing some poses. Etta an Ella giggled and approached him.

“We made this for you Chat!” they said in unison. It was a similar drawing as before, with Chat sporting nyan cat attire. They giggled again and left the living room.

“Hey, it seems they did capture your rugged handsomeness exactly right” Chat was staring at the drawing, when Ladybug noticed tears were starting to form on his eyes. “I’m joking, I’m sure they didn’t mean to…”

“This is the nicest thing anyone has ever given to me ever. I should totally get a nyan cat suit.”

-------------------------------

Had some trouble writing this one. The adventure start next one!

Also no, Lila will not get a call out this time. Everyone knowing she is delusional is more fun for this particular fic.

[bionicdragonguardian1]

Ranma 2/4

Part 3; Final: chapter 26-38

After this it’s on to good and proper timeline deliberation

These two are honest-to-God morons and I want to punch them in the face

*sigh* Ranma…

Y’know I almost had hope that this differed in the manga

Guess not

I DO NOT approve of alienation

However, getting emotional character development out of Ranma is like pulling teeth

So alienate away

Emotional Oof

THANK YOU!

*chuckles* Ryoga, you’re great

BREATHE

He’s dying don’t kill him early

FINALLY!

Ooo

didn’t see that coming

*tightly* I’m fine

okay, Ranma, you know what to do

*heaves giant ass sigh* RANMA!

*screams*

Look I know no chill, kay, shut up

RIP my shipping heart

*sighs* FUCK!

Not gonna lie, I’m Ranma

Careful, Akane might kill you

And with the way Hinako’s acting she deserves it

I’m actually with Nabiki on this one

I love how Ranma is rolling with this

Ooo that’s gonna sting

Those 3 are terrifying, honestly

Hinako, your timing is awful

STOP USING RANMA AS YOUR LANDING PAD SHAMPOO!

Ranma blubbering hurts WAY more than I thought it would

Ranma, you’re digging your own grave here

Someone call me when he learns his lesson FINALLY

*cringes* Yikes, tbh I can’t tell if she’s playing him

Ranma you shit

WHY

Why is it always Kuno?!

Oof this gonna hurt w Kuno’s understanding of Ranma’s curse

Expect all Ranma and Kuno- especially Ranko- interactions to hurt really bad

Ukyo, you’re an idiot

You too Ryoga

Honestly

Alright, that’s funny

Ukyo, you’re lucky they’re dumb

Oh God, you two are SO wrong, but I love it

Aaand what does that say about you two Akane?

Ooo I could make this really mean

It’s SO tempting

Well, that went nowhere

Poor Ranma

So many trans vibes, honestly

*screams* HOW? Who? WHY?!

Wha-wha-what?!?!

Ouch, that’s gonna sting SO bad

heheh

Ouch, that hurt surprisingly more than I thought it would

Further proof that Genma SUCKS

Just this once, gimme soft

PLEASE

Close enough…

Okay, this fight was AWESOME!!

*sigh* Why am I even surprised by Genma’s reasoning anymore?

If Ranma cries, Imma cry

Excuse me while I go scream

I literally don’t even know what to do with this

Chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on, I guess

okay, the end was funny though

Soun, is that bird didn’t look out of it’s gourd I’d believe you

*Chucks whole birdhouse* “fair”

A+ pic of Ranma

In his defense, he can argue something else, they just won’t listen cuz Shampoo won’t go with the truth

Alright, so Shampoo is smart, but with Ranma she’s an idiot

Wouldn’t the smart idea be to send Ranma AND Akane in with all 4 objects at the start?

Ok, Shampoo Sleep-Fighting is funny

Ranma is so underwhelmed that he’s just not even caring anymore

How Kasumi the scariest one to be possessed

Alright, anything with Nabiki on the cover worries me

Holy Shit he played Nabiki

I’d be impressed if I wasn’t annoyed to hell

Let’s all be glad right now that Genma never mastered this

Where do you think he would’ve sent it?

My inclination’s the Tendos

If nothing else I’m impressed by Nabiki

Now play this man like a kazoo PLEASE

When Ranma lectures you on how you’re acting like kids, you done fucked up

I’m with Ranma

Are you sure Akane?

Cuz I’m not

Heheheheh

Thems the breaks Ranma

You deserve it

Holy Shit Ryoga, nice

Now, I understand that Pigs are your life, but you might be dead

And honestly, I don’t blame him

Okay, that one’s gonna hurt

No matter how you slice it

Morality, Ranma, I know you have it

I hate this

Ok, that was uncalled for

Ranma he’s gonna kill you

Also WTF are you thinking?!?

Oof

Wait… what?

I’m officially concerned

Ok, I actually kinda like this interlude

Akane… seriously, trust is a thing you need to learn

One would think she’d learn…

Okay, that is actually creepy

I would too Ranma, I would too

Jesus fucking Christ, you suck Happosai

LetRanmaMeetHisMomCOVID19!

Gemma you shit

Happosai, go fuck yourself

Nevermind, don’t let him meet her, this is ridiculous

“Where’s the fridge?” “Akane wanted it”

I shouldn’t’ve laughed as hard as I did

*sigh* I just want Ranma to have ONE normal parental figure in his life, is that too much to ask?!

I already hate this idea

He comes back Imma scream

Since when?

On what planet does penpal = boyfriend/girlfriend?

Ryoga, PICK ONE!

I’m getting annoyed with you Ryoga, which sucks cuz you’re one of my faves

Ryoga, how are you this gullible?

You deserved that Ranma

I would wish the fate of being Kuno’s wife on no one

Ever

Congrats Ukyo you’ve actually made me freak out

I don’t appreciate it

At all

*shudders*

Oh this is SO weird

Of y’all keep making comments like this WHY do you keep trying?!

Nevermind it’s Hiroshi and Daisuke, they’re in the know

I’m going to say it again

AKANE LEARNS TO SWIM LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!

This is why you don’t buy cheap food people

I can’t lie, I’ve been waiting for Akane to get possessed

That moment when the ghost is honestly being a bit too sensitive

Actually, he didn’t, so shut up

I could make the Hawaiian thing so Explicit

But I won’t, cuz y’know consequences and stuff

I’m not going to ask how Ashura drowned at Josenkyo

Taro, quit being a dick, you turn into a Minatour-like thing

God he’s dumb

When Crazy and Crazy wanna duke it out, Ranma’s got the right idea

Excuse me, what?!

Ooo, now you’ve made Akane mad, run

Wtf is wrong with you, Kodachi, he’s literally unconscious!

I think that was almost character development?

I can’t tell

Ranma should not look that good in a suit

Whoa, she actually like… said it

Damn

Everyone’s got 4 sec to start treating Ranma like a person

Oof, right in his pride

Akane, I need you to stop being cute for 3 sec so I can focus

Yeah, I ain’t making it dormant

Ranma, I can’t tell if this is sexism or jealousy, either way it looks ugly on you

“At least he’s scaring the cats” harsh Kasumi

Okay, so I’m 90% sure it’s just jealousy, which better but still ugh

Ranma, you can be kickass when Akane is too

Ya goddamn moron

I’m going to beat that into him

There will probs be some angst about that

Not gonna lie

Look I’m good at it

Sorry

Ranma, if you want to get MURDERED that’s the way to do it

Smooth one, idiot

Called out

You better do this right or I swear, I’ll kill you myself, Ranma

I believe that is a fail

Of epic proportions, congrats

You NEED to learn to keep your mouth shut Soun

Awww

But he’s not lying!

Ranma, just run, she’s actually pissed this time

FUCKING RUN!

Alright, Akane, NO

You’re playing into the patriarchy

Oh, right… 80’s...

I’m changing that!!

Oh My God PLEASE tell me Ranma gets deaged!! Please!

Ranma’s got more patience for assholes than I do

Jesus

Hah

He deserved that

Part of me wants to see Kasumi actually get pissed off

YES!!

I LOVE degaging plots!

Ranma, I want you to math that one out, just a little

YES!

I am LIVING for this!

There is so much wrong with that sentence Kodachi

Ok, that was a little too cruel Akane

Someone either get Mousse recognized as Legally Blind

Or someone get him glasses that work!

Either one, but PLEASE

I just got a “draw me like one of your french girls” joke from a horse

Even though the widespread joke is LITERALLY at least 30 years later than this image

OOF

Ice Cold

We’re running out of chapters for her to find out

She better have a canon way of doing it otherwise I’m gonna be really mean with it…

Bean… Gun… Plant…

Eh Seen weirder

Aww Valentine’s Day chapter!

Yes!

Poor Ranma

These two are blind to each other

Heheh

Aww

I love these dorks

Heheh oops, busted

I still just find the principal an honest annoyance

Wait… when did Ranma start wearing a school uniform?

Congrats Miss Hinako!

I just now realized that I’m going to have write someone who is ok with having a female chest

Gag me with a spoon

Bleh

I’m bad at that

I really do want to give Ranma clothes that do actually fit his female form

Ranma needs to look at the terms and conditions of good curse

Cuz this is getting creative

Uh oh

Ranma you have a brain, please use it

Hehe, she’s doing her body laundry

Oh shit

THANK YOU SOUN!

Fucking Happosai

Why are you the actual worst!

Oh shit

Goddammit Nodoka

That one was ALL on you

I expected this from Nabiki, but wtf Nodoka?!

Happosai you twisted fuck

Heheheh alright that’s funny

If nothing else Shampoo is sneaky

WHY is that the only way to undo it?!

Poor Akane she is so lost

Aw, poor Ryoga

Definitely not, Akane, but thank you for posing that question

Thank you for calling him out on his ego

This would be hilarious to see this before anyone had any bit of a clue about Ranma’s two forms

Also, Ranma, you need to keep her safe from the Kunos 

 *sigh* Akane, you’re wrong 

 Ooo, not good 

 And that is what no self control looks like folks 

 What is with that ending? 

 And this is what manipulation look like folks 

Also, y’know, robbing someone blind 

 I’m assuming this is Konatsu and I love them already 

 I’m using they/them cuz I’m unsure of what pronouns to use 

 Y’know I thought the Cinderella thing was a joke, turns out I was wrong 

 I do not understand Konatsu’s thought process w Ukyo at all 

 Also, can you not knock them out? 

 I am forgetting the name of that one Hero from Supergirl but if my understanding Konatsu is correct I’m DEFINITELY going to do that

Yeah, that’s NOT how that’s gonna go over 

 Okay, can we all agree that the trick Kuno used on Ranma is HORRIBLE, right? 

 Wholeass mood for Ranma 

 Like you two need to shut up 

 I just want Ranma to wear a sun shirt and trunks to the beach ONCE 

Ryoga… how are you so lost that you came up through the ground? 

Ranma, how are you both a dick and a good friend at the same time? 

 Just tell me How on Earth did Akari justify the hot water for Ryoga with revealing that he’s Pchan 

 I’d like to think that’d be something they wouldn’t skip over 

 No questions, just punches a grave 

 Why does that grave hit back? 

 Honestly Nodoka almost finding is stressing me out 

 I could be SO angsty with the Neko-ken Fear thing 

 Someone tell me not to I’m that much of an asshole 

So glad that she’s apparently gonna learn bc I would’ve been SO mean 

God, Genma you actually suck 

 Oh, thank God she’s not too smart 

 The fact that he’s 300% ready to die is actually depressing 

 That was actually quite touching

If we ignore the way Ranma phrasing that is just plain wrong

Uhm… what?

 C-can she do that?

I hope not

God, you two are so dumb!

Is her definition of “manly” emotionless?!

Bitch, have a heart!

Oh God make them ALL leave! ALL OF THEM!

You feel? You said “you’re leaving”

 Ranma, the fact that you didn’t put that together I can’t help you Like my dad says “I can’t fix stupid”

The fact that he feels the need to run screaming from his own house…

Nabiki, WHY

I’m convinced at this point that there is something Nabiki HATES about Ranma and that’s why she’s making his life a living hell

Cuz you do realize at least ⅓ of his problems are because she told someone something that was private

I can’t tell if that’s an insult or a backhanded comment

Either way, RUDE

I can’t tell, is that Konatsu or is that Tsubasa?

Must go back and check cuz Akane’s comment about “trasvestite and a homosexual” confused me since Ranma mentioned being “the first male kunoichi”But then who HAS TO BE Tsubasa says they’re a straight guy

*sigh*

 Yep, nope, that’s Konatsu

My understanding was that Konatsu was like actually trans in canon

Apparently I mixed that up

I’m making it canon

 MtF Konatsu

 Bisexual Konatsu

One of these days someone is going to teach people to cook before assuming they know what they’re doing

 Seriously It’s not that hard

Did they seriously just try to marry an unconscious Akane to Ranma?!

What The Fuck?!

Aww, she’s cute

Ryoga has a bad sense of direction, but he’s never missed before…

Okay, that’s a little strange

Why is she hatching?

Poor Mousse

Lol, that was so sweet until Ranma was dumb

It’s still sweet, who am I kidding

“Do I look like I wear Totoro underwear” oh that’s GOLDEN

Le shit

 Firstly, Genma is still and idiot

Second, how is he already in Moscow?!

Third, why do I find this hilarious

Oh fuck

YES Kick her ass Akane!

I’m confused

Ok, was heralding back to the first chapter intentional?

Why does he have the staff in the bath?

Ok, I THINK I know what’s happening here…

Oof Can you two leave?

Ok, I was DEAD wrong

Wait…

If she…

If the DROWNED AKANE Imma commit murder

Damn, if you wanna piss off Ranma that’s how you do it

I don’t know why anyone would think pissing him off is smart

Oh, thank God, she’s okay

What is with this kid?

Why is he such a pain in the ASS?!

So I know she’s not dead

Unless SEVERAL DOZEN Fanfics have lied to me

Which is entirely possible since they were all listed as AUs

Uhm… Ranma… you okay?

Good, get him out cuz he’s clearly in shock

 This hurts

Okay, hate to be the one who complains that Akane’s not dead, but that doesn’t track

At all

Can I rescience this?

Please?

Am I going to be an ass about it, probably, but it’s me no one should be surprised by that in any way

“Honored and crazy guest” I mean, accurate

Alright, Shampoo you’ve got exactly 1 chance

Then I’ll maybe apologize for calling you names constantly

Oh I am gonna be such an asshole in this scene

Also extend it some

Oh, God I could be such a dick

I’ll restrain

I’ll just write one-shots instead

Mousse do the right thing

You have a Moral Compass I know that!

“Anytime THIS YEAR!” Damn the witty quips

Yeah, but you won morally

That’s what’s important

Why the Scooby-Doo line?

Go Ranma!

Ok, so that comment about Ranma basically fighting a God is NOT an overstatement

Noted

Congrats Ranma you made me Google a word

Turns out it is a word that had its height of use in the 80s

Neat

Explains why I had no clue what it meant

Someone shoot those damn chicken brains OUT OF THE SKY!

 “Only rocks”, rocks Ryoga just confirmed are 3 Tons

*sigh* I’m gonna have to physics the shit out of that

Joy

I cannot tell you the amount my heart dropped when I saw a full color double spread

Jesus Christ

DAMN

You’re gonna make me cry, dammit

Aww

YAY!

Heheh poor Ranma

Chill, hun, you’re good

Aww he’s tiny!

WHAT IS WITH YOU 2?!

STOP trying to marry your kids while they’re unconscious!

I’m not crying you are!

*tightly* I’m fine

Kodachi LET IT GO

 Literally everyone else too! I hate you all

Just so it’s on the record I’m pissed

Ok, so “back to the start” is definitely an oversimplification because Akane knows Ranma loves her Ranma knows she knows

Akane! Your turn!

Ooo, IDEA!

[anika-ann]

Think Again (When you Stop Freaking Out) - Pt.5

Fix It

Pairing: None                   Word count: 2673

Warnings: language, hella lot confusion, attempt at humour... irony and sass? ;)

Summary: Identity reveal and the arrival of the God of Thunder; because there isn’t enough peop- creatures in the mix, is there?

Story Masterlist

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“You’re Daredevil.”

“Yes,” Matt repeated for the fourth time, slightly annoyed at Stark asking him that question over and over.

“That guy running around Manhattan in fetish gear of Satan?”

“It’s not-“ “Yes,” Foggy said at the same time and it would be hilarious if Matt wasn’t double offended at his friend sharing the billionaire’s opinion. Surely the suit of armour wasn’t that bad? It protected him! …better than the old one, anyway.

“Who’s Daredevil?” Steve asked in Matt’s voice and it was just ridiculous, the man himself asking the question.

“Well, I would say you are now,” Tony sassed the captain and earned what looked like ‘I’m so done with you’ glare in return. Matt tried to ignore the expressiveness of his own blind eyes, but it was really hard. “He’s a vigilante operating in Hell’s Kitchen, wearing a kinky costume of the Devil. He’s formerly known as the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen.”

“And why am I only learning about him now?”

Matt gulped at the irritated tone, not happy at making Steve angry. Then again, he couldn’t say he wasn’t grateful for some of the Avengers not knowing about his alter ego activities. It was a pleasant surprise.

“Because you’re wearing his meat-suit.”

“Tony, I swear to God-“

“Blasphemy,” Matt blurted out on instinct.

Bruce chuckled. “Oh, that is precious.”

“What is?” Foggy wondered, asking the question Matt wanted to.

“Ah, Steve is known for-“

“Don’t you dare-“ Steve warned him, in vain of course.

“-not being a fan of foul language. He once scolded Tony when he said ‘Shit’ during a mission. It was hilarious,” Bruce supplied helpfully, causing Steve groan. Matt’s lips twitched.

“Cool. Now when we have the whole secrecy thing out of the way, can we please focus on the fact these two are not themselves? I’d like my friend back,” Foggy grumbled, crossing his arms on his chest.

The bluntness made Matt smile; until he realized that the process of returning to his own body might be harder than it-… nope, it actually did look pretty complicated, it couldn’t possibly get more difficult. He sighed and mirrored Foggy’s posture.

“Oh, so we’re not talking about the fact that the blind dude claims to be a ninja? “ Tony Stark asked wryly, turning his palms towards the ceiling. “How the hell is he doing all the parkour shit? The punching? You know, everything?”

“Captain Rogers said it. Enhanced senses. I navigate like that. It’s very far from being able to see, but clearly it works. Can we please move on?” Matt answered, half-annoyed, half-irritated.

This was exactly what he hadn’t wanted to happen. He hated the fact itself that the Avengers knew who he was, let alone dealing with ableist comments and scientific questions.

No, thank you. I’ll walk myself out.

“Of course. We have bigger issues at hand,” the captain came to the rescue unexpectedly. Matt didn’t care why, if it was impatience, compassion, pity, or some weird sense of understanding; he was just grateful.

“Hey! I want to-“

“Thank you. Two nights back, I busted an arms deal,” Matt announced, cutting Stark off.

“I read about that,” he noted, not impressed, while Steve hummed in appreciation.

“Yeah. Well, there was one strange box. When I opened it and touched the thing inside, it disappeared. Just… vaporized, into thin air. My best guess? That’s-“

“-the source,” Steve finished. “And it just disappeared?”

“Well, I couldn’t see anything, but… I couldn’t touch it again, sense it anyhow. It was just gone.”

“That’s kinda weird. Why didn’t you tell me that?” Foggy demanded, sounding wounded.

Matt gave him a look that spoke thousands of words he hoped. “You never want to hear about that.”

Foggy only thought for a second before pouting. “That’s… not wrong. Okay, fair, moving on.”

“It’s the same night we picked up the signal for the first time and it only has been growing stronger, leading us straight to the artefact,” Bruce stated, clearly only for Matt’s and Foggy’s sake.

Well. That was not concerning at all.

“So…?” Foggy pried, not sure what it meant. Matt was glad he didn’t have to be the one to ask.

“Well, we can try what you’ve suggested. We can touch it again – we still have it here, the thing I touched at least,” Steve announced with a shrug.

Matt gulped. He had a feeling it couldn’t be that easy.

He wasn’t wrong.

He sensed the phantom of the energy he had felt that night radiating from the item, almost afraid to touch the artefact so it wouldn’t blow up, but when he did, nothing happened. Neither when Steve tried. They touched it at the same time even, but it did nothing.

“Great. Now what?” Tony demanded, slightly irritated.

The answer came in a form of a clap of thunder.

━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━

Back in his mind, Steve was aware that Thor arrived. But the rest of his body didn’t like the sound of it – the terrible noise rattled in his bones, his ears feeling like they might actually bleed. The usually subtle tremble of the walls almost knocked him off balance and his palms went to cover his ears. He subconsciously crouched, a brief memory of being in a battlefield washing over him.

A split second later, the vibrations stopped. While Steve could still feel and hear the echo, he forced himself to breathe and listen in, knowing that the more he would let in, the faster he would calm down; the easier the reality would reach him.

It’s just Thor. A friend.

“What on Earth was that?!” Foggy complained and with slight amusement Steve couldn’t really indulge, the captain found him by Tony Stark’s side as if he was seeking protection.

“That would be Thor,” Bruce informed him swiftly, already telling Friday to send the god of thunder their way.

“As in the… the guy with the hammer. The god?”

“Yes, Nelson. But he’s more of an alien than god,” Tony hummed, manoeuvring his body from the lawyer’s half-hearted grip.

With several deep breaths, Steve found himself relax. There was definitely no danger here. None of these people would harm him or anyone else, none of them posed a treat – no need to be alert. Just calm down.

Except Steve sensed Thor coming. He could sense the vibrations of the floor as Thor’s heavy boots were falling on it, the shuffle of his armour and most importantly, the air of danger around him. It felt as if the air was sparkling with electricity, prickles and lightning, almost assaulting the space.

Steve wasn’t afraid of Thor – but he appreciated the majesty and the power of the god/alien more than ever.

The door slid open, revealing the Asgardian in all his glory – or Steve supposed – and he marched in hurriedly.

“Holy shit,” Foggy breathed out, his and Matt’s hearts speeding up. Hell, even the strange device in Tony’s chest sounded differently.

“Thor,” Steve greeted him simultaneously with Bruce only to realize that he was not in his own body and Thor had no clue who he was.

Which led him to a simple question. Was here a connection between this whole ‘I woke up in someone else’s body’ thing and Thor’s appearance? Steve had a feeling it did.

“I come bearing unpleasant tiding. An Asgardian artefact has been activated on Earth-“

Oh. Now that would make sense.

“Hello to you too, Drapes,” Tony snarked, giving the god a pause in both speech and step. ”And, you think?”

“My apologies. Hello, Stark. Doctor Banner. Captain. …humans.”

Foggy choked on air, while Matt kept his composure despite the tension in his muscles. Steve cleared his throat as the god had been turned to his original body when greeting him.

“Hi, Thor. Would the artefact happen to cause… I don’t know, exchange of bodies and minds?” Steve asked blatantly, not sure how to phrase it better.

He could immediately feel the air shift as the Asgardian turned to him.

“How would you know that, mortal?” Thor demanded, half-curious, half-threatening.

This time Matt spoke up. “Because he’s Captain Rogers. I’m Matt Murdock.”

Thor’s head snapped to Steve’s actual voice and then back. “Oh.”

“Yeah, we know. I guess you see how that’s a problem?” Tony hummed, the smartass he was.

“Yes.”

There was a short silence, interrupted but Tony’s impatient voice; Steve had a feeling Foggy would have beaten him to it if he hadn’t been overtaken by a respectful awe and… fear.

“Good, care to elaborate? What is this artefact and how do we reverse its effect for instance?”

Thor seemed somewhat sheepish, but his voice held great confidence.

“The artefact is my brother’s doing-“

“Of course it is…”

“-and it is meant as a jest. If you touch the artefact, its other half activates and lures another being to itself. When touched as well, the spirits shall exchange their hosts.”

“Alright. So it’s a very advanced prank. How do we reverse it?” Tony asked the burning question.

Thor shook his head. “You do not.”

“WHAT?!” sounded unison from all presents minus the god, shock immediately falling on the room.

Steve’s heart positively stopped – both his own and the body’s he was occupying now.

‘You do not?’ So we stay like this forever?! No!

That was not an option! Steve was Steve and Matt was Matt and they both had duties, they both had their place in the world, they both had their life and in their current situation, there was no way they could just deal with switched bodies! Steve couldn’t rush into battle blind with his other senses exploding and Matt sure as hell couldn’t just walk into a courtroom as Steve Rogers to defence!

Not to mention Matt was running around like a vigilante, which… yeah, Steve had still several questions about that dubious activity – not that he would hold it against Matt. Steve of all people knew that sometimes rules and laws stood in the path of justice, as much as he hated it.

It was kinda funny though. A vigilante. An outlaw. And a lawyer. If the situation was less dreadful, Steve might even appreciate the irony, but that was not the time and if Steve was about to be stuck in Matt’s body forever, he everything but appreciated it.

“You’re telling me they can’t go back to their own bodies?” Bruce clarified, sounding seriously on edge. Or Steve thought so – he was too busy freaking out on the inside and maybe a little on the outside too.

Yeah, Steve and Matt were definitely hyperventilating now.

And Thor laughed. To Steve, it sounded like a horse neighing right in his ear.

“Oh no, the effects wear off on their own. There is nothing you can do to speed it up, though.”

Collective sigh of relief was the answer. Oh thank god. Thank God.

“Way to give me a heart-attack, pal,” Foggy huffed, his hand on his chest as if he wanted to make sure his heart was still beating in his ribcage. Steve would gladly confirm it was. He could hear it, which he didn’t find less insane than an hour ago.

Speaking of hearing heartbeats, Thor’s actually did sound like a series of claps of thunder.

“And you would be?”

“Foggy Nelson. Matt’s best friend,” the lawyer hurried, offering his hand to shake. Steve prayed the god didn’t crush the poor man’s fingers. Matt’s/Steve’s hand followed as he introduced himself again, but Thor’s attention returned to the other man.

“Do you control the fog here on Midgard?” Thor asked, intrigued.

Steve’s lips twitched, few silent snorts echoing in the room. Could anyone blame Thor for coming to that assumption?

Steve could hear blood rushing to Foggy’s face in embarrassment. The longer Steve spent in the man’s presence, the harder it was to resist the urge to call him Foggy; the nickname suited him, expressing his kind – and perhaps a bit goofy – nature perfectly.

“Uhm… no?”

“Ah. That is confusing.”

Tony clapped his hands twice. “Great. Now what do we do? How long until they… go back?”

Steve believed that the strange movement he registered coming from Thor was a shrug of his monstrous shoulders.

“…well, it might take a while,” the alien admitted slowly, sounding as if he was charming a carefree smile. “But do not be alarmed, it is harmless.”

“Harmless? Really?! He’s blind, Thor! He’s literally blind!” Tony pointed at Matt’s Murdock body impudently. “Imagine someone would attack him now – either his own body or the one he-- wears!.”

The face Steve wore automatically twisted in a grimace at Tony’s phrasing.

“Yeah, I second that! What if it wasn’t me coming to the apartment in the morning?”

“Oh,” Thor hesitated. “That might be inconvenient. I assume it is not customary to train blind men in combat on Earth then?”

Matt took a deep breath, his pulse wavering. For some reason, Steve’s skin cringed. Strange. Another involuntary reaction of Matt’s body to the discussed subject?

“In this particular case…” Steve heard his own voice whispered by Matt, drawing a tiny whimper from Foggy.

It took that tiny sound for Steve to understand this was possibly the worst topic ever, even though he had no idea what the story behind their reaction was. He cleared his throat.

“Well, clearly Matt’s capable of protecting himself. But yeah, I would appreciate being back to myself too.”

Matt took another steadying breath, trying to remain at least a bit calm. “Thor, how long is a while?”  

“I am sorry, my friend, I do not know.”

“I’m… not your friend, he is,” Matt noted with a sigh, subtly pointing towards Steve in Matt Murdock’s body. Only to be rewarded with Thor’s confused deep voice.

“Of course you are. I am a friend to all humanity.”

“That’s very godlike of you,” Foggy remarked. Steve (and probably Matt) shot him a glare. “What, that was funny! And true!”

Bruce cleared his throat, supressing laugh. “Okay. What do we do in the meantime? I don’t think either of you should leave – mainly because of the security risks.”

Steve gulped. He would fight until his/Matt’s last breath if it came to it, but he couldn’t argue with that logic.

“Alright. I don’t have anywhere else to be for now.”

“Well…” Matt considered slowly, turning to his law partner.

“Say no more, Murdock. As much as I would love to see our clients’ faces when it would be Captain America greeting them in the office, I do have some common sense left. I’ll just call Karen to close the office for the day, okay?”

“Thanks, Fog. But… what if it’s… more than a day? What if-“

“Forget ‘what if’s for now. I got your back, buddy.” Foggy patted Matt’s bicep in a friendly manner and then retreated his hand quickly as if he got burnt. “Sorry, Captain! Didn’t mean to grope!”

The weird sound that followed was hard to identify – but it Steve could take a guess, it was Tony snorting the water he had helped himself with through his nose.

Steve’s lips twitched in amusement at Foggy’s embarrassment.

“It’s alright. I know this is all very… confusing.”

“Yeah, no kidding. And I’m just the one watching…” Foggy murmured under his breath, exiting the room to make a phone call. “Yeah, Karen, it’s me, look, we have a small issue with Matt waking up in Steve Rogers’ body, yes, that Steve Rogers aka Captain America’s body-“

“…what?”

Steve smiled for himself, trying to tune out the conversation outside of the room. He had a distant feeling that this Karen woman (based on the fact she apparently also knew about Matt Murdock’s double life) was an exceptional employer and she definitely deserved a raise for dealing with… well, unnatural occurrences.

“So now we just sit and wait?” Matt stated more than asked.

Steve sighed.

Yeah, it looked like it. Steve hated sitting and waiting. But right now, it was apparently the only option. Unless they wanted to make this even messier and hurt someone – starting with themselves.

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Part 6

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Tags:  @mermaidxatxheart​ @igobypoet​

[unproduciblesmackdown]

40, 47, 59, 62, 76

lmao hell yeah thanks for All this support i love it!! quastions

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

really idk i feel like even our schools’s Antics were pretty par for the course and i was just sitting in the corner reading the whole time basically......trying to think if anything wild happened in college but even then it was p similar. well you know what, whatever donors covered the majority of the cost of the school’s black box theater being renovated apparently Stipulated that every other year a rodgers and hammerstein production be put on. absolute freaks. my roommate/friend and their then-boyfriend, the one mormon i have Knowingly Known in my life, were in pirates of penzance (sic?) together. hilarious

47. favorite type of cheese?

i like cheddar and like, parmesan, smoked gouda.....let’s get that shit Sharp!!! and hard lmao

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

idk i’d be like an npc just doing their weird thing on their own. i’ve never played pokemons unless you count pokemons Go but i think about the famed “i like shorts they’re comfy and easy to wear” npc kid. like, yeah. i feel the same. and would say similar bullshit nobody asked about

62. seven characters you relate to?

oh god.........recognizing the self through the relatable characters :|

well let’s just talk about the wrol roles right off b/c the characters that Most occupy my gay thoughts (which is to say: my general thoughts) will inevitably get priority when it comes to Remembering things

1) whom among us doesn’t relate to jared kleinman........will roland emerging from relative obscurity and coming for our entire fucking lives like the goddamn legend he is. it’s tough b/c it’s like, oh well alana is relatable too, so is evan unfortunately sorry evan, and in ways i might ~usually act~ like one of those two more than jared but. no. it is Jared who wins the relatability contest, and we all get to be beautifully haunted by it forever

2) leaning hard into winston even with the few glimpses of him b/c somehow will Cannot play an allistic cishet. and this is even More of a case where maybe i don’t much have winston’s demeanor.......even without winston being a beacon of confidence, he has more confidence lmao. and he has that ability to just Be Himself in a situation which, i wish i had that moxie lmao. i am a lot more [usually trying to be accommodating wayyyy harder than i should], booo......even though he’s clearly not great at conflict considering how it doesn’t take Too much to put him out, it’d be pretty impossible for me to be all “called them hacks and lame” or carry out a very irritated monologue in front of four people in the first place lmao. but who knows. and it’s more in the details of like, oh no winston’s the odd one out even though he hasn’t really Done Anything, but we all ~understand~ why he Deserves it.........his expectation / treating it basically as Fact that he will disappoint people.......the [weird] [offputting] behaviors and his way of speaking in What he Says and How He Says It seeming wrong to people.......like it’s only 15-ish min of content that we have here and we don’t have the least info about will’s own thoughts on the character but it’s like. how is this such an iconic Gay Autistic Quant b/c these vibes are so rare. and i appreciate that he can be ~difficult~ lmao. same with jared though i didn’t mention it. i can be difficult!! love it for us...

3) briony atkins from murder of bindy mackenzie as a character who Does act more like how i Usually Act Like lmao.....god we’re only on three i forgot there was seven of these. and yet i know there’s probably at least 2 dozen characters who could make this list and i just won’t think of most of them unless directly reminded......but anyways yeah i mean in person i mostly do Not want attention unless i feel comfortable enough / in my element or whatever. especially if it’d be some situation like “sitting in a group of randos” lol. i mean it depends b/c i also can sometimes be ~on~ in terms of Masking and trying to be like Haha I’m Social I’m Regular and i def engage in Nervous Chatter sometimes, but like, very often it’s like god don’t talk to me and i don’t want to talk either.....and then yeah people Will be surprised that like, idk, i’m opinionated as shit and idk that i Enjoy Things / Have Thoughts And Feelings coz the assumption i guess is that you must simply have nothing to say. so the dismissal of this person who seemingly has nothing to contribute and must be Boring rings true lmfao.....but then of course it’s also important that her personality Under that is the one getting mistaken for emily’s lol cuz yeah At Heart i am sure of that dramatic / intense / excitable type Sometimes. but it takes some excavation before i am like “oh i can engage in my actual self” and like weeks and months to get comfortable w/ people and i’m always suspicious that anyone actually would enjoy it and i’m not too much......i am a motormouth actually and have something to say about any and everything and like to Have Fun Here but like. idk i come off as boring and can be Notably Quiet lmao

4) oscar martinez from the office is weirdly [Haha Same] sometimes lmfao. sort of keeps to himself but also has to pipe up with Opinions and Pedantry and the kind of Drama of a restrained theatre gay. some deleted scene from an episode where during an interview clip of Jimothy in a theater lobby and you have oscar call from across the group in that [wearied Ugh God] way of ‘jim, they’re remaking ___’ while jim just kind of gives a cursory “wow gosh” or whatever and like, i sure don’t have lots of Theatre Opinions but that “oh jeez i have a Take on this and have to share it with someone” vibe is like hahaha yeah.....it’s funny in the “the gang goes to the ice rink for a third of the ep” bit where you just catch oscar doing [ice skating turn] with some solemn intensity.......the “here’s a question nobody’s asking: is this worth it” quote.........way at the end where there’s a whole deal with one of the indoor plants and he’s like “why is it a He” @ the collective gendering of the houseplant lmfao.......i love the one thing where he and pam and uhh toby right? have the Finer Things book club or whatever and jim wants to join just like ~ironically~ and pam has to tell him that oscar doesn’t want him to join b/c he’s not going to take it seriously and use it as a Jokes Vehicle. and then you get the scene at the end where jim Is basically doing that and they’re just like taking it out of him and oscar’s all very seriously like “did you get it all out of your system” lmfao like yeah, earnest members only lmao.....the thing where he gets mad at angela’s like Jazz Musician Posed Babies posters all “it’s kitsch it Destroys art” lmaoooo and in a totally different season all “this is the problem with debate” over the completely inconsequential “is [whichever actress, i forget] Hot” “”””debate””””.......the whole tendency to get involved and always have a take to get across.....opinionated-sometimes-to-the-point-of-petty central. also that he’s the canon gay, are there even any others? anyways and as the us office’s spiritual successor i’ll add on to this by uh what’s the name of billy eichner’s character on parks and rec? it’s craig right. that Self-Powered Intensity is very #me as well.

5) augh god........im like lmfao shit who represents my Hater Club side. hmmm. oh no wait you know what. totally different but i love Prof Beatrice Hotchkiss in the trt nancy drew pc game. she’s holed up in her room writing all the time and just is weird when you try to talk to her all like no i won’t open the door, bring me food, do this Research, bring me my Ski Boots i guess......and then when you do meet her it’s all at like post-midnight in the lounge and she’s all like, encouraging you as a Night Owl and your investigative curiosity and all and i’m like oh word yeah being up in the dead of night is the shit. she’s just weird and passionate and this is another character i might not Act hardly at all like but who i vibe with lmfao. hotchkiss was the supportive adult in my life

6) remembering how hotchkiss is a historian made me think of academia which made me think of like, once again with “these vibes are So So Rare” i really ought to put the wrol role of Nato on the list cuz like. that essential representation of “gets gr8 grades but isn’t really ~academic~ / doesn’t care about that and really just cares about Hanging W Friends and [real specific interests]” is like wow damn that’s the Mood. coz like to an extent i can always Relate to the ~overachiever~ types a la the [nerd character gets all-A’s and other nerd shit] deal, but there’s eventually the issue of like.....those characters like bindy mackenzies and alana becks Care about their achievements (not exclusively as some ppl would have it 9_9) and are Studious whereas i always hated school and was a godawful student in terms of Habits and always got good grades b/c the devil was with me or something and like people will think i must have tried real hard and dedicated myself to Academics and stuff and it’s like.........no................not at all hardly, sure i did my hw every night but at like 11:29 pm or studied for a midterm at lunch right before the class lol or flipped through a lil bit of the sat study guide the night prior.........the “low-effort dumbass who Academically Excels Anyhow” representation is so crucial like!! i run into a wall when it’s the Good Grades nerd character who is real studious and focused and stuff like. couldn’t be me. meanwhile the “naturally weird + probably some ‘deliberate’ weirdness” and “likes animals” and “most likely to just wanna Roll With It” and “shitty focus lol” and “non sequiturs” and “without [activity] i do nothing” is all like....ahahahohoho..........nato rly got to make this list. and honorable mention for Wrol Jeremy. again: whom doesn’t relate!!!!!!!!

7) damnit i know there’s So many answers to [characters i relate to] and whom cover like, more particular Facets here but i’m struggling lmao. Uh. like i’m like, who’s the Hot Mess / continually evolving disaster characters i vibe with......who’s the peak despresso detached Haters rep......who embodies the solo production lifestyle........dammit you know what lol i tend to Feel for like, the background ~nobodies~ who might just get like totally destroyed in some movie with life or death stakes just to like, show how much danger our heroes / Important Complex Protags are. same w/ jeremy not feeling like the Hero / the one who the story’s about / the cool guy / player 1 / etc etc etc i’m like oo i’d be the npc who doesn’t really do anything, i’d be the rando getting blown away in the background of someone else’s story. on a totally different note another shoutout / honorable mention to wybie from the coraline lmfao one of the best characters invented from thin air for an adaptation......tangentially relevant b/c he’s entirely here to support the protag / not his story at all, just here to help and prompt interactions / exposition really.......but love that [weird loner kid who’s best friend is a cat and annoys the other kid and doesn’t Get it and has specific interests and entertains himself and just is doing weird shit around here tf dude lmao killing it] like, #mood. #lifestyle. less dismal to relate to than the bg person who dies......his counterpart who totally dies is somewhat fleshed out / given Investment so it doesnt Really count as [background Nobody who’s really just fodder for “defining the stakes / threat level”] Character Concept

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

latkes maybe......Yummy

[violetsandloveletters]

How’s your day going? I feel very unwell & have done for the past few days. So apart from avoiding being sick & being in pain, fine. I’ve just been on the sofa watching Black Mirror & resting. What shape is your face? Round.. What sort of computer are you on right now? A Samsung laptop. What’s your favourite restaurant? Five Guys, I know it’s fast food but my god. What does your umbrella look like? It’s black & white floral from Paperchase, need it in the UK atm as it’s pissing it down... HAPPY SUMMER.

Do you share a room with anyone? Not while D has been away unwell, unless you count my cat Hades. Are you superstitious? Yes, no 3 drains for me! Or walking under ladders & knocking on wood blah blah. Do you believe in astrology? I do. I’m a Cancer, all my favourite people including my cat are either Pisces or Scorpio. & i’m very much drawn to guy Fire signs which is D & my ex & one of my best friends so...  Take the vowels out of your name. What does it spell? Lrn. Do you eat breakfast every day? No, literally never. I’m never usually awake at breakfast time! If I am doing something in the day I will try & eat to stop me getting a headache or feeling sick but not breakfast food. You can go back in time and slap one historical figure in the face. Who? Hitler, Brutus there’s probably a ton though tbh. Do you have socks on? Describe them. Yes. I’m cold! Grey & mint green fluffy socks. Pick up your cell phone for a second. Who’s your first text from? My auntie. Fourth missed call? My dad. Are you one of those people who has like a hundred apps on their phone? No I don’t think so. I only have 2 pages too because the first one is mainly sorted into folders. Have you ever been to the ballet? No. Do you have good reflexes? I guess... Do you have many internet friends? No & I like it that way. Do you think those friendships are on level with your real life ones? - Do you keep a journal? I do but not a regular one. Describe for me your ideal sandwich. My Subway order... Italian BMT (was on honey oat but they changed the bread so 9 grain wheat or italian herb & cheese), double cheese (normal & grated), lettuce, sweetcorn (sometimes red onion & tomato) & the new vegan garlic aioli. What are some names that you like? Nature names... Forest, Luna, River etc or Greek gods/Godesses... Apollo, Hera... my cat is called Hades... Is there something you’re putting off doing in favour of this survey? No, i’m taking it easy today. Are your friends generally like you or different from you? My best friend Tash is so opposite yet the same to me it’s crazy. Like when we shop, our whole time is spent saying ‘I don’t like this but you will’ ha. Link me to a picture you think is cute. It’d be one of my cat or me & D so... Do you like blowing bubbles? I’m not 5, but if it was something that would entertain the cat I would do it, What’s the band that you love even though you know they’re awful? Well I don’t think any bands I like are awful unless it was some cheesy 80′s that I love. Ever had a pillow fight? Not that I recall. What do you usually pick in truth or dare? Truth. Are you better at posing good questions or coming up with outrageous dares? Good questions. Do you coo over other people’s babies? No, until I have my own, I hate babies. Apart from D’s niece S cos she is hilarious. What is something that makes you very squeamish? My dad is obsessed with Dr Pimple Popper & Embarrassing Bodies & he knows any shit like that freaks me out & he will ALWAYS facetime me when watching them. Also vomit. Do you try those as-seen-on-TV things? I have a few JML stuff we have here as there are stands in like Asda & Wilko... Has there been a celebrity death that really affected you? Michael Jackson & Robin Willams. Do you get the dressing on the salad or on the side? On the salad. Do you make lists, or are you more of an unplanned person? I make lists. If you’re out of high school, have you stayed in touch with your high school friends? If you’re still in school, do you think you will? I left school 11 years ago so I guess, I mean D’s sister is marrying one of my close friends from my year at school so there’s an example... Is there something you like to eat that most people think is gross? Erm, i’m not sure. Do you have a lot of photographs of your friends? I guess. Do you dye your hair regularly? Yeah I dye it purple. Do you think, if it came down to it, that you’d be able to kill someone? In self defence yes I’d have too. Are you good at rating things?

Sure

What’s a movie that you want to see? Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. What was the name of your third grade teacher? No idea, it was like 20 years ago maybe.

Are you a competitive person? No. Do you get into a lot of arguments? No.   Do you like to go shopping? Yes. Can you knit? No. What’s something that you really like about yourself? That i’m loyal & caring. Can you pass for older than you are? Not one person believes i’m 27 years old because I look so young so no way.. Have you ever been in a situation where that was necessary? No. Do you talk a lot? No. Are you a Facebook creeper? Who doesn’t like a nosey now & then. What is a smell that you hate? Fish. There’s loads, i’m very sensitive to smells lol. If you don’t set your alarm clock or anything, when will you wake up? 12 or 1pm. Do you even use an alarm clock, or do you just use your phone? Phone & Fitbit. Do you watch Maury or Steve Wilkos or anything like that? I used to watch them both & loved them! What did you get your best friend for their last birthday? Don’t remember! What did they get you for yours? Some skincare & body stuff as she works for an online beauty retailer so gets all the good stuff. Are you capable of finishing a game of Monopoly? Yeah, me & D love it. What is a word or phrase that you overuse? “fuck sake”, “i feel like shit”, “im tired”, “im hungry”, “Hades, are you hungry?”1 What’s your favourite painting? Well it’s not a painting but “The Sleep or Reason Produces Monsters” by Francisco Goya or Picasso’s “Guernica” cos it’s fucking weird. Have you ever written to your congressman? No? Did you get sent those free AOL discs a lot? Yeah, I remember those, does that show my age? Are you allergic to anything? Quorn. What are you going to do now that you’re finished with this survey? Watch the episode of Black Mirror that’s been on pause for like an hour.

[thesearchforspirk]

1 x 9: ‘What Are Little Girls Made Of?’ {Subtext Study}

Please read my manifesto here if you haven’t already- it better explains my beliefs as per the Kirk/Spock dynamic and what I aim to accomplish with this blog.

An episode that barely features any direct K/S reactions yet seems to say a whole lot about them in 50 minutes time, through strategic use of androids. And Lurch. 

So, Chapel’s on the bridge this time around which is a bit of a switch-up. Turns out she’s anxiously awaiting news of her fiance’s whereabouts and whether or not he’s still alive. Kirk is cautiously hopeful; reminding her that said fiance, Dr. Roger Korby, has been missing for 5 years despite several search expeditions to find him. I guess that doesn’t make her love confession to Spock in The Naked Time too terribly awkward then... yikes. Dr. Korby asks that Kirk personally come down to the surface which has ignited Spock’s suspicions, but Kirk is hesitant to refuse given Dr. Korby’s reputation for being a brilliant scientist or something. 

When Spock asks for confirmation that Chapel knows Dr. Korby’s voice beyond any shadow of a doubt (likely because of his increased concern now that Kirk’s wellbeing is on the line) she teasingly asks if he’s ever been engaged. Kirk gets a personal amusement out of his reaction. Yeah what a hilarious thought, there’s NO WAY Spock has ever been engaged hahaha.

(just wait for Amok Time you little shits) 

Kirk and Chapel beam down to the tundra-like planet (apparently impervious to the cold as neither of them seem the slightest bit affected) and, having not seen Dr. Korby anywhere nearby, decide to head down into the cavern to see if he’s somewhere in there. Kirk contacts the Enterprise and asks Spock to beam down two expendable red shirts just in case (Spock of course not neglecting to ask if there’s been any trouble). All for the better, as one ends up falling off a ledge somehow just as Dr. Korby’s assistant, Brown, shows up and Lurch (LURCH NO!!) slinks away. 

Brown’s acting a little weird around Chapel, as it takes him a moment to recognize her. Kirk’s suspicions are being increasingly aroused but Chapel continues to seem hopeful (he’s also super beat up about his red shirt guy dying which isn’t significant to the point of this post but I just like James T Kirk so much and how much he cares about each member of his crew ok). Unfortunately the other red shirt guy gets suffocated or something by Lurch before he can give Kirk’s orders to the Enterprise. 

Brown explains that Dr. Korby’s discovered how the inhabitants of the planet moved underground as the sun dimmed and created a mechanistic type culture, which he hopes to harness and implement everywhere for some reason. When they get into the main living area a sexy lady barely wearing anything shows up and I freaking love the look Kirk gives Chapel- he’s not checking sexy lady out, he’s looking over at Chapel to see how she feels about this super hot, scantily clad woman and the fact that she’s apparently living here. “Girl, can you believe this?” Sure enough, Chapel’s like what the fuck. 

Sexy lady introduces herself, very mechanically, as Andrea. Then Dr. Korby shows up and he and Chapel have some kissy-kissy reunion times and Kirk looks so happy for them because he is perfect. Korby apologizes for Kirk’s lost crewman, Kirk assures him it wasn’t his fault, and then attempts to call his redshirt posted outside. When he doesn’t answer he makes to try the ship, but things escalate quickly when Brown points a phaser at him and says “NO COMMUNICATIONS” 

Geez, y’all aren’t really going for warm and hospitable, are you?

Dr. Korby insists, instructing Andrea to take it from him. Kirk flips her around as a sort of hostage and then does his infamous barrel roll to hide behind the desk. He then presumably attempts to stun Brown, but instead blows open and sizzles his circuits because GASP he’s a robot! Kirk also gets fucking picked up like a toddler by Lurch and thrown against a wall. So far as I can tell these are the same actors, not stunt doubles, so that means Ted Cassidy literally hoisted Shatner up and held him. HELD HIM THERE. LIKE A BABY. 

I just find that hilarious and precious. Anyway. 

Kirk does indeed contact the Enterprise- or rather, his voice does. It turns out Lurch can do excellent, spot on voice impressions so he calls the bridge and gives a pretty level-headed, standard message about the progress of the mission. 99.99999% of people would not have heard anything worth suspicion. I would guess that would even include McCoy. Of course, 99.99999% of people don’t know Kirk as well as Spock (nor are they secretly in love with him) so of course Spock notices something is off and asks as much and says he sounds tired. Very logical and unemotional of you, Spock, A++++ Vulcaning. 

Korby apologizes for being so shady but, y’know, it’s necessary. Because of reasons. Lurch does some more impressions, proving he can do ANYONE’S voice (as a voice actor I’d kill to be as good as him) and Kirk is clever enough to convince Korby to order Lurch not to disobey Chapel’s orders. Because Kirk is such a smarty pants and I love him forever and always. Anyway, Korby attempts to convince Kirk to have an open mind about things so he can help him facilitate this new android technology he’s been working on. Kirk’s not having it. He attempts to escape and is ONCE AGAIN picked up like a baby by Lurch. Whoever had the idea for this to happen not once, but twice, is a hero, honestly. 

(I’d like to thank god and also jesus) 

Meanwhile Andrea is asking Chapel some weird questions like, “How can you love Roger if you don’t trust him” and “Why does it bother you when I call him Roger?”. She seems genuinely confused, but of course Chapel is having a hard time believing that...all things considered. Korby shows up and tells Andrea to call him Dr. Korby since the alternative bothers Chapel and that’s sufficient enough. He then also explains that Andrea is an android, a computer, a machine, and Chapel shouldn’t be jealous because she’s incapable of love. Supposedly. He even has Andrea kiss and then slap Kirk, reiterating that she’s a totally logical computer incapable of feeling, that only responds to orders. 

Huh. Who else has been described in such a way time and time again? What’s more, Kirk doesn’t seem in the least bit convinced. In fact, he seems somewhat angered by this assertion. Certainly that could be because it seems wrong to talk about living things as objects, but given all the familiar descriptors that have just been used I’m going to guess that it’s more than that for him. Much more.   

As if to confirm this, Kirk challenges the assertion, that if these things only act as Korby programs them and have no feeling, then why did Brown turn a phaser on him with an order? Korby doesn’t give a direct answer, he basically just says ‘lmao let’s go give you an android twin, will that help?’ This they do (and Kirk’s laid out like a fucking snack, but I won’t waste time on a visual tour of that this time, I promise) and when it comes time to copy over his mental patterns so that android Kirk is just like real Kirk, Kirk makes a quick decision to instill his thoughts with an openly hostile opinion of Spock to be transferred over to the android. “Mind your own business, Mr. Spock,” Kirk chants. “I’m sick of your halfbreed interference, you hear?” 

While there is something to be said for that fact that no Kirk is a real Kirk if he isn’t enamored with (or at least respectful of) Spock, I think it’s also telling that Kirk knew Spock would inevitably ask concerned questions and so supplied a telling uncharacteristic answer. Perhaps there’s something else in the fact that Kirk had to be so openly hostile to convincingly mask and block any of the strong familiar feelings of affection for his First Officer. Something to think about anyway. 

Chapel sits down to lunch with Kirk, insisting that despite the moral dubiousness of Dr. Korby’s current work she knows him well enough to ensure that he hasn’t lost his mind and that they should trust him. But whoops, this Kirk is the android, so perhaps when he asked her if she’d obey his command to betray Korby he was testing the waters. He has Kirk’s intellect after all. Man, someone writing this show really liked the idea of dual Kirks didn’t they? Can’t say I blame them. 

(a decidedly tastier sandwich than The Enemy Within version, sign me the fuck up) 

The two Kirks verbally spar for a bit and Korby flatters himself that he’s made a perfect duplicate. Kirk says somewhat knowingly, with a slight grin, that there are still certain differences between them. Korby insists that if they exist they are entirely unimportant. Something tells me Korby has never come between a Vulcan and and the object of his (logical) affections before. 

Korby finally pushes his game plan on Kirk, saying he needs his starship to transport them to an Earth colony where he can begin integrating androids into society, to make the perfect immortal society without jealousy or hate or any unpleasant emotions (but also without love, Kirk argues). Not willing to be Korby’s pawn, Kirk takes him as another captive and keeps Lurch at bay as he manages to escape through the cavern. Korby orders Lurch to ‘protect’ though (how he’s protecting by chasing a guy long gone through a cavern I don’t know). 

Thankfully, Chapel orders that Lurch not hurt Kirk so when he has the chance to send him falling off a ledge, he instead has to help him up. And, yes, Kirk gets hold of a dick-shaped rock and poses for the picture that makes it into every tongue-and-cheek write up about Kirk/Spock or anything gay/Trek related so let’s just get that out of the way right now:

(har har penis joke)

Meanwhile android Kirk goes back aboard the Enterprise to get some info for Korby. Spock looks just about beside himself to see him again and bounds after him as Spock is wont to do when Jim makes a surprise appearance. Spock is understandably confused, however, as Kirk wasn’t due back for awhile, so when he pushes for clarification android Kirk busts out the whole halfbreed interference thing. Almost immediately after this he asks Spock why he looks upset, which is...rather hilarious. Spock doesn’t seem upset after that though, rather he appears justifiably suspicious, if not convinced that this is not his Kirk. 

Android Kirk then passes on possible planet settling info to Korby while real Kirk gets Andrea to kiss him again- but not the cold, mechanical kiss, this time he kisses her passionately and invokes in her feelings that confuse her (specifically with that intent). In keeping with this attempt, when Lurch comes in to attack him Kirk starts asking him difficult questions, like what happened to the ‘old ones’ and is it possible to go against his creators if they’re illogical. Kirk essentially pits Lurch’s violent need for logic against the programming given to him and discovers that Lurch can indeed kill his programmers if their orders override his need to survive. As such, he turns on Korby but Korby just kills him with the evaporation phaser or whatever it is.

Neither Kirk nor Chapel can seem to figure out why it is that Korby has such a flagrant disregard for life now, but when Kirk attempts to fight him again they learn why; HE’S AN ANDROID TOO!! He disturbingly assures Chapel he’s the same Roger inside, that he had to make this change to survive, and Chapel wonders how true that it is. 

Meanwhile android Kirk shows up again and Andrea is tasked with intercepting him. She wants to kiss him like she kissed real Kirk before but he says it is “illogical” and so she angrily zaps him away. When she comes back into the main room, however, she realizes it was android Kirk she zapped and not the real one. Kirk challenges Korby, asking him if this is the ‘perfect world’ he envisioned, of androids killing each other off without a second thought. Korby blabbers some more about being the perfect computer or whatever, showing Chapel that this absolutely isn’t him anymore, 

Andrea, however, doesn’t kill without a second thought. She kills to protect, because as she’s discovered through Kirk’s accessing, she has the capacity to love Korby and does. She insists she does but he tells her it’s impossible. She’s not human after all. When she kisses him he presses the phaser she holds between them and kills them both. Obviously, his work has been for naught. 

Spock shows up then (a little too late) with the landing party he’d planned for earlier. He, of course, asks Kirk if he’s alright first even as Chapel is sobbing right beside him. When Spock asks about the Doctor Kirk tells him, solemnly, that he was never there. 

Back on the bridge Chapel says she’ll be staying with the ship, even if her original intent for boarding one died long ago. After she leaves Kirk notices something is off about Spock and asks about it, to which Spock replies that he didn’t really appreciate the use of the term ‘halfbreed’, even if it was implemented in an android’s head for a good reason. He says Kirk has to admit it’s an unsophisticated expression. Kirk assures him he’ll keep that in mind for the next time he’s in a similar situation. Spock all but rolls his eyes but can’t seem to fight a little bit of a smile. Neither can Kirk. 

It is not insignificant that this episode deals with beings of ‘pure logic’ and the feelings each of them has repressed or justified as a means of maintaining said logic. It’s also interesting that the only being among them that could not display morality, feelings of mercy, etc, was the one who had engineered the whole thing and fancied himself more of a human than the rest of them. Lurch could feel anger, Andrea could feel love despite Korby’s insistence otherwise, Brown protected without a direct order. There’s argument to be made that android Kirk could not have felt them either, as when Andrea tried to kiss him he insisted it was ‘illogical’, but perhaps it was only real!Kirk’s effort to drive out his affections for Spock that made this so. Without those affections any Kirk copy has no heart, it would seem. Interesting.  

It’s also not incidental that Kirk is the one who correctly guesses that these supposedly emotionless, logic-driven machines were indeed capable of feeling and knew how to drive that feeling out of each of them. Who better to guess that a robotic entity who insists logic is the only thing that fuels him might be mistaken in that respect? What’s more, Kirk knew the weakness of each android and exactly how to press the right buttons to bring it out. He does this on a daily basis, after all. 

This episode also explored the depths to which Kirk and Spock know each other; Spock can correctly tell there’s something off with Kirk’s voice even when he’s down on a planet, giving a routine order, not sounding off to anyone who wouldn’t have that intrinsic knowledge and concern. Kirk used his knowledge of Spock’s emotional weaknesses to exploit the pitfalls in the android’s engineering. Even if they barely get any screentime in this episode, it’s not hard to see why all of it functions as a thinly veiled metaphor for their dynamic. 

EDIT: I often go back to my predecessor, TOS Commentary, after I’ve finished evaluating an episode just to make sure I’m not missing anything and have put everything in my own words. Something was pointed out there for this episode that I thought might be of interest to anyone reading this evaluation, and it’s something that can easily fly under the radar. In her words, “ Chapel intimates that engaged couples can always tell their lovers' voice. Later, when Android Kirk appears on the Enterprise, Spock is immediately suspicious, and Android Kirk's insult confirms his suspicion.” What’s more, Spock recognized that Lurch’s imitation was NOT Kirk’s actual voice. I found this a VERY interesting coincidence, one of those that makes you really wonder just how intentional all of this was. Bits like this make me think someone has always had it in the back of their mind. 

Hopefully I did this episode justice as that’s about all I have! Join me next time for ‘Dagger of the Mind’!

[itsthefishdoctor-blog]

The United States of Delusion

I don’t even know what to say today y'all.

There has been just a massive amount of mind-boggling nonsense inundating us for the past week that I can’t feel anything other than overwhelmed. I’m overwhelmed by the outrageous comments the president has made. I’m overwhelmed by the bold-faced LIES that he has spewed; overwhelmed by the hypocrisy of every single thing he has done and said.

I knew this was coming. I knew it when I cast my ballot for a woman I didn’t think was the best choice but wasn’t an absolute psychopath. I knew it when y'all told us to give him a chance because even though he hadn’t taken office, his hateful rhetoric had already changed the tone of our nation. To be honest, I’ve know it every single time the carrot has opened his mouth. I knew this was coming and I am STILL blown away.

And of course, I’m blown away by this clown. His presidency literally exceeds my comprehension. But what blows me away even more than his bullshit, is the lack of outrage from those of you who voted for him.

Y'all. This. Dude. Lied. To. You.

Not that this a new thing for him. He lied multiple times on the campaign trail (“lock her up” is still ringing particularly loud) and has continued to lie since he was elected. It literally is the most unreal sort of lying I’ve ever seen. It’s bold-faced and its over INSANE things. Like, who actually lies about doing/saying something they are well documented to have done/said? Seriously? WHO DOES THAT?

We’ve had politicians who lie before. That is not at all new, in fact its basically a requirement. But every single time we’ve caught them in a lie, they have to make a big public apology (which you wont accept) and then we hold it against them and call them a liar for the rest of their career. Example: Bill Clinton was not impeached because he had an affair. Bill Clinton was impeached because he LIED about having the affair. Which in comparison to the lies our new fearless leader is spewing, seem like child’s play. I won’t even begin to discuss the ridiculousness of that entire process (especially Trump’s use of it to undermine Bill’s wife and her run for president) but the hypocrisy is, once-again, mind blowing.

SO ANYWAYS.

I’ve posted a nice article on my facebook page choked full of the lies Donald Trump has spewed in the past week vs. the facts that actually happened here in the real world. Seriously, this blows my mind that these are things being debated. Read it or don’t, but I promise there is actual evidence that contradicts the crap the president has tried to make into facts. But that, again isn’t really the point of all this.

What we need to talk about right now, is the state of my country.

Because I am not entirely sure what is happening or who’s country this is anymore. If I’ve seen anything in the past week, it’s that Donald Trump is very well set on making this HIS country and he doesn’t give a flying fuck what he has to do or who he has to throw under the bus to get there.

And I don’t know why there are so many of my fellow citizens who voted for him who are not scared or downright pissed about this. Because y'all are the ones who trusted him. You chose to put your faith in a man and in the span of a week he has completely overhauled your country. I don’t know if you just don’t understand what all these executive orders mean (to be fair, there have been an exorbitant amount) or just don’t care because somehow they don’t apply to you. Because I’ve defended y'all. I have allowed you to justify your vote for other things but I’m done now. Because I’m not entirely sure there’s anything that man can say or do to make some of you even question him, let alone denounce his actions.

When you have a man in charge of the greatest free nation in the world telling the press what they can and cannot report, you are no longer a part of a free nation. When you have a president silencing SCIENTISTS and evidence-based facts, you no longer live in a safe nation. When you have a president using religion to decide who can and cannot enter our country, you no longer live in America (a nation literally founded by men running away from the nationalized Church of England).

The point is we have entered some sort of insane alternate universe where we call lies alternate facts. A world where we ignore hypocrisy unless its directed against our opponent. A place where we look the other way when something unjust happens that doesn’t apply to us. A nation that doesn’t make any damn sense and pretty much defies every single principle it was founded on.

So I’m gonna talk about hypocrisy for a second because its about damn time we start holding each other accountable.

You DO NOT get to criticize pro-life women at your women’s march. You DO NOT get to yell at people afraid to let in refugees when it took you five years to pay attention to the crisis in Syria. You DO NOT get to remain silent when a SNL writer says horrible things about Baron Trump because of who his father is. You DO NOT get to say Trump is not a “legitimate president”. You DO NOT get to remain silent when protesters destroy property or attack police. You DO NOT get to support the women’s march but stay silent to the Black Lives Matter movement. You DO NOT get to freak out about Republicans racism and make fun of Melania’s broken English. You DO NOT get to criticize the people who felt like they had no choice to vote for Trump when your party nominated a lackluster candidate through some pretty sketchy tactics. You DO NOT get to act like the ACA is affordable for most people or the best option for healthcare for our nation. You DO NOT get to remain silent when Madonna threatens to blow up the white house. You DO NOT get to act like illegal immigrants didn’t break the law.

You DO NOT get to preach to me about how you voted for Trump because he was financially conservative and then not lose your damn mind when he essentially forces you to pay for an utterly useless wall. You DO NOT get to tell me healthcare is too expensive to be a universal right but a billion dollar wall isn’t. You DO NOT get to talk to me about the Democrats ridiculous spending when the GOP wasted $7 million to investigate Hilary in Benghazi TWICE and who knows how much investigating Trump’s newest bullshit voter fraud claim. You DO NOT get to tell me you are pro-life and refuse to allow Syrian refugees into our country. You DO NOT get to say “what would Jesus do” to defend fetuses but not actual, fully formed humans. You DO NOT get to tell me radical Muslims pose more of a threat domestically than mentally ill white guys like Dylan Roof or Adam Lanza. You DO NOT get to get your panties in a wad about how we’ve become a “politically correct” country where you can’t say what you want and not BE UTTERLY TERRIFIED that the president has essentially put a gag order on the EPA, NASA, the National Park Service, etc. You DO NOT get to chant “drain the swamp” at your terrifying rallies and then remain silent when Trump builds a cabinet overflowing with the most under-qualified and swampiest, swamp monsters. You DO NOT get to demand to see President Obama’s birth certificate but not Trump’s tax returns. You DO NOT get to criticize peaceful protests against Trump’s low-class behavior when y'all protested Obama’s election because of his skin color. And you DEFINITELY DO NOT get to say celebrities need to stay out of politics when you fools elected one.

Y'all are afraid of ISIS and don’t understand how banning immigrants from ISIS’ stomping grounds feeds directly into their recruiters hands. How banning people from Muslim predominate countries (but not the most Muslim predominate countries and not the countries who have a history of attacking us) shows all the people who ISIS recruit just how horrible the Americans are. Y'all THREW THE BIGGEST FREAKING FIT EVER about Hilary’s freaking email server (even though most of us don’t even know what the heck a private email server is) and then are silent when Donald Trump’s administration has done the EXACT SAME THING. Y'all were up in arms about the Clinton Foundations international connections but look the other way when your president makes a bullshit executive order to ban Muslims only from countries he is convenient enough not to have financial ties to (and then believe the nonsense that Obama did the same thing in 2011: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/fact-checker/wp/2017/01/29/trumps-facile-claim-that-his-refugee-policy-is-similar-to-obama-in-2011/?utm_term=.328b3f2a974d). You DO NOT get to highlight a portion of that executive order and claim our president refuses to support countries that oppress the LGBTQ community when he openly supports Putin.

Here’s the thing y'all. We need to figure out just what it is we stand for. Because I really don’t think anyone has any clue anymore. We’ve warped our views and beliefs to fit into certain political parties who have their own conflicting views. Republicans are conservative unless its something they want (like a wall). They want the government to stay out of their wallets but are okay with it in women’s reproductive organs. Democrats want everyone to be respected and then call every single Trump supporter a bigot/racist/oppressor. They want the government to stay out of their reproductive organs but provide them free birth control. These labels are only further examples of the division that has broken our country. We are so divided over words that don’t even represent well-organized ideas.

We’ve got to stop y'all. We have to come back to the ideas we were founded on. We weren’t meant to have a national religion. We weren’t meant to have just two political parties; as if that could possibly represent every single American adequately. We weren’t meant to deny immigrants when the founders themselves were immigrants.

But more than that, we need to be good humans. We need to help those who’s homelands have been destroyed because we refused to get involved until it was too late. We need to speak up about injustice in the world and demand action. We need to be kind and fair and generous and compassionate. We need to acknowledge when those we disagree with do the right thing. We need to call out the people we support when they do the wrong thing. We need to respect our fellow humans no matter who they are because, duh. Seriously, duh.

I say all of that knowing full well that even if all of that happens, we may not be any better off. I know that change is a hard thing for people to do and that a few people have a very difficult time changing the world. I know that President Trump will continue to do whatever he wants to do regardless of who it upsets. I know that most of us are too proud to admit, our “opponent” has some valid points.

But I have to say something and I have to try something. Because I feel SO FREAKING HOPELESS. Even though I have watched amazing things unfold in the past week to counter this monster of a president, I feel defeated.

I don’t know what is going to happen next and I’m truly terrified to find out. I can’t even begin to imagine how those of you are who aren’t a privileged white woman are feeling. I’m sorry for you. I really, really am. I want you to know that I’ve got your back and I will fight for you with every fiber of my being because I am grateful for your existence. And you matter. We, the people are the best part of this country and we are what makes America great. I will defend your right to be treated with respect and dignity no matter what. And I can only hope that enough people will do the same. I hope enough people can be as bold as Judge Ann Donnelly or the 3 million women who marched or John McCain who opposed Trump’s latest executive order.

I guess really all I can do right now is continue to hope. I hope we continue to stand up for each other even if its for people who are totally different than us or people we will never meet. I hope that we can all figure out what really matters is the type of people we are and the values we hold and act on. I hope we can be the type of people who inspire others to overcome hate and can bring the generation behind us into a better, more respectful world.

I know this is all very Mean Girls-esque but I sincerely wish I had a big ass plastic crown to break apart and throw at everyone. Because really, y'all are beautiful and if Cady Heron can figure out how to apologize for being a bitch and try to make amends for it in a two hour film, I think our country can probably get through the next four years without pushing anyone in front of a bus.

(That’s a crappy Mean Girls reference; please don’t push people in front of busses)

-Be kind to one another-

also a friendly reminder this blog is for me and possible future nuggets who I want to remember that their mom was definitely not cool with all this bullshit they’ll have to learn in history class. And also for anyone who feels as shitty as I do and needs some love ✌️️