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otakubimbo · 2 months

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Fake Love Fake Rage

Part 2!

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x f!Reader

Contents: Yelling, Anger, Cussing, Fake Dating, Angst, Mean Miguel, Insecurity, Emotionally Immature Miguel, Argument, A Bit of Fluff At The End

Everything has gotten worse in the spider society now that you've taken a leave of absence, but are you even coming back? Not without something from Miguel first.

Sticky: Hi, me a known liar. Sorry it took so long for part 2 ya girl as been busy T-T but I hope yall enjoy! I may make a part 3 but who knows I am a known liar after all but you can ask. Mwah <;3 Requests are open btw.

Part 1

Masterlist

For two weeks since your absence, the rumor mills up in full force since your departure. Of course, people heard the truth about you and Miguel, but people also heard the two of you arguing and now with your disappearance people were talking. It didn’t help that Miguel was in a worse mood than usual with your absence. He was grumpier than usual, shouting at anything that anyone did even if it was something successful or useful. Everyone at headquarters was walking on eggshells around him and even that was too loud. Not even Jess, Lyla, or Lego Peter Parker could put him in a better mood.

The whispers in the corridors about your absence infuriated him even more. When were you going to return? Why haven’t you contacted him yet? Why haven’t you contacted anyone yet? Everyone knew better than to ask him about you missing from his side, you are missing from your lab, you are missing from headquarters. If Miguel wasn’t storming around headquarters looking for someone to take his aggression out on, he locked himself away in his lab not daring anyone to interfere with his sulking. If only he would go and apologize to you, all his problems would be solved but he wouldn’t. He wasn’t going to apologize because he wasn’t wrong. Well, yes, he was wrong, but you were the one who started it. You were the one who started the rumors, this was your fault. It had to be your fault, he wouldn’t have had to face the fact that everyone knew that you were too good to be with him, that you were too kind, too smart, too great to be with him. Everyone loved you and he…... and you were the only one he was able to tolerate besides Jess. Your absence was missed by everyone.

Miguel, Hobie, Gwen, and Pav all watched Miguel storm around for those two weeks hoping that you would have returned by now. This wasn’t the first time the two of you have argued but it is the first time you didn’t return to headquarters after a day of cool off period. They were all starting to get worried about you since no one could contact you in your universe since your watch was inactive. It was decided that one of them would have to visit you to check on you and inquire about when you were going to be back to fix things with Miguel.

The first person to visit you in your universe was Miles, the sweet baby angel pacing out in front of your condo awaiting your answer to his call from the door. Miles looks at you sheepishly, “Hey kid, what are you doing here?” You greet him by letting him into your condo.

“I just wanted to check and see if you were okay since you didn’t show up to HQ and no one can reach you.” He said awkwardly, scratching the back of his head not knowing what to say, there wasn’t a plan for his arrival. The gang just assumed once you spoke to Miles that it may just get you to come back, you would hopefully assume that Miguel may have sent him or something. You gave him a tiny laugh, knowing that it was everyone else but him that is reaching on about your wellbeing.

“I’m fine darling, just trying to adjust my watch in peace. Hopefully, it will be able to help everyone when it’s finished.”

‘Everyone’ you said, not ‘us’ but everyone, excluding yourself. You didn’t know if you were going to go back, returning to headquarters was the furthest thing on your mind. Your only focus is making the adjustments and protecting your own universe. You never took anything from Miguel, and you weren’t going to start now. He hurt you, the only person who was patient with him, the only person who gave him the grace that he didn’t deserve, the only person who he thought understood him. You. Miles could feel the pain in your voice, could see it in your eyes but you still held that small smile attempting to reassure him that everything was fine even if it was a lie to him and yourself.

“Well, we all miss you. We all do.” Miles attempts to say the quiet part out loud. That everyone misses you, that Miguel misses you, but there was no way you were going to believe that until you heard it from him.

You give a defeated sigh, “Yeah, I know but work must be done. The multiverse isn’t going to save itself.”

Miles's eyes are kind as you attempt to joke about the situation, he gives you a sad smile nodding at you in understanding. He leaves you to your work and your thoughts. All your thoughts are avoiding thinking about that one thing, that one person. Your heart is heavy with Miles's departure, but you won’t focus on that.

Once Miles turns back to headquarters the gang surrounds him with questions, hoping that he received the confirmation that you were going to be coming back to headquarters soon and Miguel's tirade would stop. The look on Miles's face told everyone everything they needed to know before he could even answer any of their questions.

“She looked so sad,” is how Miles starts as he tells them what happened when he went to meet with you, almost in a hushed whisper as if Miguel would hear them from his office. No one knew exactly what he had said to you to make you leave but now after Miles returned it must have been something that would not only make you stay away for so long but still affect you enough to sadden you. They agreed to give you some more space and time since you seemed to want to be left alone for the time being.

Even still, after another two weeks, there was still no word from you. You've been gone for almost a month now and Miguel has just gotten worse. You couldn’t even imagine how bad. It wasn’t even his temper anymore; he was fucking up. Missions were going poorly, anomalies weren’t being captured properly, and even worse Miguel got hurt. It was stupid and was easily avoidable and yet his mind was everywhere else but on catching anomalies. It was about you and his last moments with you. All he could see was your face, your eyes, the tears that were threatening to spill, and the way you looked at him with such pain. He was distracted and careless. A green goblin anomaly got him good and broke at least two of his ribs. Nothing that would do any permanent damage or leave him out of commission for more than a day or so, but the anomaly got away and he fucked up. Because of you. All because of you and that made him even more upset. Why weren’t you back yet? Why were you distracting him even if you weren’t even here?

“Just go and apologize to her” Lyla snarks at Miguel as he sulks in pain in his lab. He groans attempting to ignore her until she pops up right in front of his face. “Seriously Miguel, I don’t think she’s going to return unless you go and apologize.”

“I have nothing to apologize for” He scoffs attempting to swat the AI away. His last memories of you flash behind his eyes, ‘Fuck you, Miguel’ were your final words to him as you left headquarters eyes filling with tears. He never wanted to see your face like that again and he didn’t think even if he apologized you would accept it. You had never spoken to him like that before, at least not in a serious manner, and never cried because of him. He didn’t know what to do, he couldn’t apologize. He just couldn’t. Miguel resigned to not seeing you until you decided to come back to headquarters until you decided to forgive him on your own.

That was until a week later when Miles Morales as gently as possible webbed his way onto Miguel's office platform. Miguel barely even acknowledged his presence, just grunted in his direction as he continued to focus on the screens in front of him. Carefully, Miles walked up and placed a multiverse gizmo on his desk. It almost immediately caught Miguel's attention because it wasn’t any gizmo, it was YOUR gizmo. Obviously, it was yours because while everyone else’s was black, yours was your favorite color. Miguel just glared at it and in the silence, Miles decided to speak.

“She asked me to give it to you. Said that there were modifications to it to help direct the spider society closer to the anomalies when we use it. She said you would be able to figure it out.” Miles explained, his voice softer than usual to not agitate Miguel because Miles knew what it meant when you gave that to Miguel.

It meant that you weren’t coming back. It meant that you were standing up to Miguel and his shit. Someone had to and it had always been you but never like this, never to the point of not returning. Now Miguel was panicking, he thought that eventually you would just come back fuss at him, and forgive him but no, you were leaving. You were leaving society; you were leaving him. His panic turned into rage and his rage turned into him pounding at your window in the middle of the night after going to your universe.

The banging on your window was completely unexpected, your spidey senses feeling it before it happened making you jolt out of bed. You knew it was him even in your groggy state before you went to your window, you just didn’t think it would ever be him. Your eyes went wide blinking at him as if he was an apparition, you knew it had to be him because your body told you so but it truly just couldn’t be. You hadn’t seen him in over a month and you were sure that he resigned to go back running the society alone without your assistance. Unconsciously, you open your window letting him in and he starts his tantrum.

“What kind of scientist are you that you let a child bring in one of your projects without an explanation on anything?” He starts attempting to tower over you as you're still waking up from your abrupt sleep interruption.

“Huh” You’re confused looking up at him, forgetting that you finally finished making the modifications to your gizmo, giving it to Miles on his last visit to you. He came immediately after Miguel got hurt, hoping that would soften you enough to come back to headquarters. It didn’t, which is why you gave Miles your finished prototype and told him to tell Miguel to figure it out.

“So, you didn’t give Miles your gizmo and tell me to figure it out??” He glowed down at you as you noticed he was gripping your watch with the band to not damage it.

You slowly start coming to your senses, realizing what was happening, “I assumed it would be helpful to the society with the modifications I made and an idiot could figure out how to work it. So there was no need for me to explain anything.” Your hands cross under your chest, not thinking how it is pushing your boobs and shirt up towards him. Miguel almost falters watching you do that, realizing that you in fact were only in a shirt, his shirt (and maybe panties but he could barely tell).

“Why haven’t you returned to headquarters?” another question, no apology, but yet another question.

“For what Miguel? I did my job good enough in my universe, yes? You would have been able to test it properly if you weren’t here right now. And yet, you are. Why are you here?” Your eyes narrow at him as you ask the question, he didn’t want you to. “Isn’t it easier without my presence annoying you? You can figure things out by yourself, no?”

You throw his words back in his face, getting as upset as him. How dare he barge into your universe? How dare he act like he hasn’t done anything wrong? Why is it always like trying to move an immovable object with him? He was the one always pushing you away. He was the one who said that your ‘business’ was annoying and that you should keep him out of it. Foolish of you to believe that at one point he may have cared for you, that in some universe that couldn’t be one that either of you would ever visit the two of you would be together, the two of you would make sense.

You could tell that Miguel was frustrated by what you said, irritated, he mumbled under his breath in Spanish. He rakes his hand through his hair starting to pace back and forth in your bedroom. He throws your watch on your bed as he comes to stand in front of you, his thoughts making no sense in his own head. The exhale he makes from his nose washes over your face, but you stand tall glaring up at him, challenging him as you always did. As he looked down at you, the one thing on his mind that he never wanted to admit was blaring at him. He loved you; he fucking loved you and he hated that he loved you. He hated that he didn’t feel good enough for you and he hated that everyone else saw that he wasn’t good enough for you.

His voice was low and soft as he spoke back to you, “Why did you tell Ben we were dating?” You were taken back for a second, almost annoyed that he was bringing this up again. Was this really the issue of everything? As long as he told everyone the truth it would have died down and no one would have really cared.

“Seriously Miguel?!” You throw your hands up frustrated, “This again?? What’s the issue?? We aren’t and it doesn’t matter!”

“You don’t think it hurts for everyone to talk about how I could never be good enough to be with you?? How you’re so much better than me and have no good reason to be with me anyway??” He grits through his teeth as he runs both his hands over his face and hair again. Your eyes go wide in shock and misunderstanding.

“What are you talking about?” You ask taking a step back to look at him, he’s shaking, hands opening and closing in frustration, saying what you assumed were curses in Spanish.

“Just because I don’t have spidey senses, doesn’t mean I can’t hear.” His head turns from you as you look at him yet again in confusion. “Everyone in the society said you were too good for me, that there was no way that you would actually want to be with me” His voice was softer than you had ever heard him speak when he said that, and it broke your heart. How could he not see how much you cared for him? How could he not understand that the reason you were comfortable with the fake dating is because you wouldn’t have minded it being real? But that didn’t give him the right to treat you that way.

“So you hurt me because of what other people said? You truly think I care nothing for you Mig?” You say just as softly as he did, looking up at him fighting the urge to hold his face in your hands.

“I….” He starts as he gazes down at you, pausing and unpausing as he fights to hold your face in his hands also. “I know I’m not good enough for you. I’ve known since the first day I laid my eyes on you that I would never be good enough for you.” He confessed and tears started to build along your lash line at his words.

“I’m sorry….” He says before hesitantly grasping your cheek, “You are too good for me, but I want you so badly. I want to kiss you, hold you, go to bed with you, wake up to you. You’re everything I am not and more.”

“Miguel” You barely whisper as your hand grasps onto the wrist that was holding your cheek.

“I hated hearing what I already felt from everyone.” He confessed.

You looked up at him, his brown eyes filled with sadness. You, who knew him better than anyone, should have known this. But you didn’t, he kept this hidden even from you. As you locked eyes with him, the walls you had built towards him almost immediately crumbled and a spark of courage flowed through you. You press on the balls of your feet upwards, lips landing directly on his. Your hands make their way around his neck as he freezes for a moment in your embrace until realizing that you’re kissing him. YOU are kissing HIM. Once his brain catches up to reality his hands immediately wrap around your waist, drawing you into him to deepen the kiss. Your mouths move against each other as if they are in a dance that only they know. As things get more intense, your hands find his face and pull the two of you apart.

You pant a little before speaking, “Why didn’t you come for me sooner?”

“I didn’t think you wanted me.”

“I’ve always wanted you.”

Taglist, i think i got everyone: @berlinswifey @migueloharastruelove@kinkybandages@razertail18@beckberin-xo

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manykinsmen · 6 months

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toro rosso reject to five time world champion, or, welcome to the meat grinder: a complete(ish) history of drivers maligned by the red bull family in f1

okay so with all the red bull propaganda floating around, i wanted to explain why that team in particular rubs me the wrong way in the most objective way that i can (i say most objective because i know it cannot be perfectly objective and also i do not want it to be. how we feel emotionally about things is important and i firmly reject any culture that insists that human suffering should take a backseat to pretty numbers). a lot of research went into this and the typing up of this post alone has taken me several days. i have striven for accuracy in my reporting of information, so please let me know if you spot anything incorrect or any typos surrounding dates/numbers.

i will also preface this by saying that no team in formula 1 is an emotionally healthy environment to be - fundamentally most motor racing shouldn’t be set up to have multiple driver teams (i will make an exception for series where they literally share or swap control of the car like endurance racing or extreme e). it doesn’t make sense and almost always ends badly. formula 1’s set up in this regard is the worst of the worst. i am also deeply critical of the entire concept of junior teams and driver academies, which, with a very small handful of exceptions, have been an unmitigated disaster and a breeding ground for psychological problems. this is across all teams that employ them, red bull, mercedes, mclaren and ferrari in particular. red bull operates the biggest machine in this regard, far eclipsing even mercedes, which creates a situation in which the problems of these systems play out on an industrial scale under their banner.

so let’s have a look in detail at the drivers that have succumbed to the red bull meat grinder, going all the way back to 2005. we'll do this mostly in bullet point form for my own sanity and i am going to give their ages at the time, because i wholeheartedly believe it is relevant, given that many of red bull's victims are very young drivers - all but four of them were under 25 when they raced for the red bull family in f1, and it is now widely understood that the human brain doesn't finish developing until after that age, leaving them particularly vulnerable to psychological and emotional strain. this is gonna be long, so buckle up.

a quick notice that we will only be covering individuals who have driven for red bull or toro rosso/alpha tauri in at least one f1 race, not any purely test or developmental drivers, anyone from exclusively from the feeder series or any other motorsports series. please bear in mind that there will be a whole host of other wronged individuals who exist in this category. we will be excluding david coulthard, mark webber, sebastian vettel, daniel ricciardo, max verstappen, sergio perez and yuki tsunoda as these drivers are either currently with red bull/alpha tauri, and therefore their story with them is not complete, or left/retired from them voluntarily, on (mostly) good terms which is not the norm. these individuals have been excluded as outliers. we will also not be talking about liam lawson as there is not enough information about his circumstances. we will also not be covering any unconfirmed rumours of stress-related alopecia afflicting multiple red bull family drivers.

content warning: some of this stuff is very upsetting and in many instances likely meets the definition of psychological/emotional abuse and workplace bullying. i will highlight which specific sections mention night terrors, eating disorders, suicidal behaviour, and the death of anthoine hubert, but please bear in mind that this entire document is varying degrees of unpleasant to harrowing.

a * indicates that driver holds at least one world championship in some form of motorsport series. ** indicates that they are an f1 race winner.

christian klien, red bull (2005-6), aged 22-23

klien was inherited by red bull from jaguar racing, which they bought out, whom he had raced for in his rookie season. it was a relatively unremarkable rookie season, though klien was noticed for his consistency in finishing, retiring just four times.

red bull replaced him after only three races with vitantonio liuzzi (this was because they had two drivers and only one seat, having signed both, - the other was occupied by veteran racer david coulthard - and couldn't decide which they wanted). they flip-flopped between the two drivers over the course of the '05 season.

despite this, klien scored points in two of his three races (the third being a dns with an electrical issue), and twice more over the season.

red bull subsequently bought out minardi, which they renamed toro rosso, to solve their three-driver problem and klien was confirmed for the red bull seat alongside coulthard for the '06 season.

klien qualified in the top 10 for the opening two races of the '06 season and scored points in bahrain. in malaysia he dnfed after colliding with kimi raikkonen. at this point he was viewed by red bull as failing to live up to the expectations of his much more experienced teammate (coulthard had been racing in f1 for twelve years at this point).

despite two further points finishes, mark webber (also more experienced that klien, racing for five years) was signed from williams for klien's seat in '07 before the end of the season and klien was sacked with three races to go, with reserve driver robert doornbos filling his seat.

klien declined a drive for red bull in the indycar series in the united states because he felt his formula 1 story wasn't yet over.

though he admits, he handled his sacking poorly, he has said in 2023: "there was so much going on behind [closed] doors that I was really, really frustrated with the situation and the way it [was] brought up to me, it wasn’t very nice."

he never raced in f1 again, though he was a reserve driver for honda, bmw sauber and hrt from 2007-10).

he went on to pivot to endurance racing, which he has had a long career in, continuing to present, and has written a monthly column for pitpass.com since 2012.

robert doornbos, red bull (2006), aged 26

doornbos originally raced in f1 for minardi alongside christijan albers in the '05 season.

when minardi was bought out by red bull to become toro rosso, neither driver retained their seat at the end of the '05 season. albers moved to spyker, whilst doornbos was left without a seat.

however, christian horner had been a previous team principal of doornbos in f3000 had been recently appointed sporting director of red bull and found doornbos a seat as red bull test/reserve driver.

he was promoted to the red bull second seat for the final three races of the '06 season following klien being dropped.

although he qualified in the top ten in his first race, he failed to bring home any points and was ultimately passed over for the '07 season in favour of mark webber.

doornbos has been quiet about his time at red bull.

he remained as red bull test driver for the '07 season, and raced in two seasons of champcar/indycar. he has been retired from racing since 2010.

vitantonio liuzzi, red bull (2005), toro rosso (2006-7), aged 25-27

we've covered much of liuzzi's story in covering klien's but here are a few extra details:

in the '06 season, liuzzi was given a seat in the newly created toro rosso team.

he scored the team's first points in an eighth place finish after a long battle with nico rosberg in a williams and david coulthard in a red bull (note that this is the standard that klien was failing to live up to in the same season).

liuzzi was confirmed for the '07 season, which went rather badly for him, including crashing into the "wall of champions" in Canada. liuzzi failed to score at all in the first half of the season and there was constant speculation that he and/or his teammate scott speed would be replaced by sebastian vettel and/or champcar champion sebastian bourdais.

after bourdais was announced to have been given the '08 drive in the mid-season, liuzzi's performances actually improved and in china, he overtook mark webber in the red bull to finish fifth.

liuzzi blames his sacking from toro rosso as a problem of too many people having the ear of didi mateschitz, red bull owner, particularly gerhard berger who owned a 50% stake. in 2023, he said: "actually, I stepped out of toro rosso because of berger. in 2007, for politics, he took me out of red bull. if not, i would have stayed there for a really long time. it was done in a bad way… it was really not a fair situation. it was a big shame." he has also been critical of the lack of clarity and constant changes of which criteria were used to judge the drivers' performances.

liuzzi went on to race for force india and hrt between 2008 and 2012, before moving to the superstars series, gt series and eventually formula e.

liuzzi has been retired from racing since 2017.

scott speed, toro rosso (2006-7), aged 23-4

scott speed was a divisive presence in f1, given that he routinely went on the verbal offensive with other drivers and his own team. much of this was attributed to a brash american attitude, though scott has later come out to say that he regrets his behaviour, which he says was a result of the stress he was under at the time.

speed drove for toro rosso in the '06 season, having been a test driver for red bull in '05 at the canadian grand prix. his early races went poorly, with a 13th place finish in bahrain and a retirement with a clutch failure in malaysia.

in the australian grand prix, it looked briefly like speed had scored his first points before he was given a twenty-five second penalty for overtaking under yellow flags, dropping him out of the points from ninth. he was also fined $5000 for using inappropriate language to david coulthard during a hearing with the FIA.

at the french grand prix, speed suffered back pain and breathing problems as a result of a friday practice accident, but raced regardless.

despite a terrible season in which he scored no points, and which saw wild speculation of his replacement, speed was signed again for the '07 season, despite klien not even being offered the demotion to toro rosso.

speed's '07 season was similarly disappointing, with two separate collisions with alexander wurz (who you might remember as current gdpa chair).

the european grand prix would be his last race with the team. it ended in him spinning off in the wet. there were unconfirmed reports afterwards of a physical altercation with franz tost, toro rosso team principal, which tost has always denied. speed accused the team of wanting to get rid of both himself and liuzzi.

despite things seeming to calm down over mid-season testing, at hungary '07, it was announced that speed would be replaced by sebastian vettel.

speed reportedly said that "no amount of money" would see him work with red bull again, but in 2008 he went on to drive for red bull in nascar (it is unclear if he meant red bull in f1 or red bull more broadly). he has also called his contract with toro rosso "absurd" in an episode of beyond the grid.

he raced in nascar until 2013 and has since raced in both rallycross and formula e. he briefly attempted to raced in the indianapolis 500, before deciding that it was too dangerous following the death of his friend dan wheldon. he has not raced since 2021 and now hosts the red bull podcast.

sébastian bourdais, toro rosso (2008-9), aged 29-30*

bourdais' initial foray into the world of formula 1 came before his champcar success, in 2002, with tests for both arrows (who were on the verge of bankruptcy) and renault, where he was ultimately passed over in favour of franck montagny.

he returned to f1 in 2007, gaining several tests with toro rosso after his fourth consecutive champcar title, which would unify with indycar in 2008.

in 2008, he was announced as teammate to sebastian vettel at toro rosso. in his debut race, despite qualifying seventeenth, he managed to overtake his way into fourth place before his engine failed with three laps remaining. having completed more than 90% distance, he was classified eighth and later inherited seventh after rubens barrichello was disqualified.

bourdais went on to bring home points again at belgium, where he qualified ninth, held onto fifth for most of the race and was briefly third, before toro rosso made an incorrect strategy call to stay on dry weather tyres and he was overtaken by several drivers on wets, leaving him seventh. bourdais was visibly close to tears after the race.

at italy, he qualified fourth, but a grid-box problem saw him forced to start from the pitlane. despite being lapped by his teammate, he set the second-fastest lap of the race. in japan he was the victim of a controversial fia penalty (few commentators agreed with it) for causing a collision with felipe massa and was dropped from sixth to tenth (then out of the points). this was, in fact, so controversial after a string of bad fia calls throughout the season that they were forced to release "stewards only" footage to justify the decision. many, including martin brundle, still believed that massa should have been penalised instead.

bourdais was confirmed for toro rosso in the '09 season alongside rookie sebastien buemi, replacing sebastian vettel moving up to red bull following david coulthard's retirement.

despite two points finishes, buemi outscored bourdais and impressed the team greatly. bourdais later struck buemi's car at the spain gp, taking evasive action from a spinning jarno trulli, forcing the retirement of both cars. he then collided with kovalainen in britain and suffered mechanical failure in german, after qualifying last by over a second.

in july, toro rosso announced that bourdais would be replaced by jaime alguersuari for the hungarian grand prix and onwards, with franz tost saying that bourdais had "not met expectations". bourdais had a viable case to sue toro rosso for breach of contract, who later settled with him for $2.1 million to avoid litigation.

bourdais has largely been quiet on his time as part of the red bull family, but has recently accused the team of "poor sportsmanship" and "dirty tactics" in their use of second-driver sergio perez.

following his retirement from formula 1, bourdais has competed in multiple le mans series races, including winning the 24hrs of le mans in 2016. he also returned to indycar and is currently racing in imsa sports car.

sébastien buemi, toro rosso, 2009-11, aged 20-23*

aka, the tale of three sebastians, none of them spelt the same.

buemi was brought into toro rosso in 2009 from the feeder series and his first season with them went, honestly remarkably well. he scored points on multiple occasions, outscored teammate, and rival seb, bourdais and achieved three top ten qualifying positions in a row. he was named best rookie of the season.

he continued to produce results at this level in the '10 season, in spite of one truly spectacular incident in free practice of the chinese grand prix when his suspension failed and jettisoned his two front wheels while he was travelling at over 300kph. one of the wheels went over the safety fence and almost hit a camera man. fortunately no one was hurt. he even outscored teammate alguersuari, with eight points to alguersuari's five.

in 2011, he again produced good results, scoring a total of fifteen points, almost double the previous year. however, despite this and in a surprise move, both he and alguersuari were dropped in december 2011, despite having verbal confirmation from toro rosso that their seats were safe. according to alguersuari, the reason given was that they "weren't winners". this move came so late in the season that neither alguersuari or buemi were able to negotiate for seats at other teams, which may well have been available to them, as they were already filled.

buemi himself has remained fairly quiet about his time as part of the red bull family.

he was retained as a red bull test driver in 2012 and continued to be included on their list of test drivers as recently as 2022.

since leaving f1, buemi has won the world endurance racing champioship on four occasions and the 24 hours of le mans on three. he is one of the most successful drivers in formula e's history, being crowned world champion in 2016, and still races within that series. he is one of the most decorated drivers currently racing outside of f1.

(a personal aside here, buemi's success has as much meaning to me personally as pierre gasly's win after his demotion. imagine being told that you are not a winner, only to go on and win five world championships).

jaime alguersuari, toro rosso (2009-11), aged 19-21

(serious content warning, this one contains descriptions of night terrors and discusses seeking psychological help)

at the time of his arrival, jaime alguersuari was the youngest person ever to race in f1 and only the seventh teenager. he was also the first f1 driver to be born in the 1990s. he is the son of jaime alguersuari sr., a minor motorcycle racer.

alguersuari had little success in the second half of the '09 season, suffering from mechanical failures and retiring in five of the last eight races.

despite this, he secured the drive for '10. in malaysia, he scored his first ever points with franz tost praising his skills and saying he "drove an incredible race". he scored points on two further occasions, completing the series with five and finishing just behind teammate buemi in the standings.

in the '11 season, alguersuari started out badly in the races, in either finishing outside of the points or retiring, despite qualifying impressively.

by the canadian grand prix there were rumours that he would be replaced by daniel ricciardo, who had completed a race for backmarker team hrt. in canada however, he finished eighth for his best ever result.

alguersuari significantly improved, scoring points in seven of the last thirteen races, bringing home a total points haul of twenty six, more than five times his score from the previous year and outscoring teammate buemi.

despite having impressed across the paddock in general and being tipped as a great racer of the future, alguersuari was dropped alongside his teammate, as covered above. alguersuari has repeatedly insisted that he had multiple verbal confirmations that his seat was safe from toro rosso.

since being dropped, alguersuari has been, and continues to be, vocal about the mistreatment of himself and other drivers by the red bull program. here are a few excerpts:

"none of the drivers that are racing for red bull would have had that chance without them. that is crystal clear. but what is also crystal clear is the way they sacked me and my team was not the way they should have done it [...] it was a very quick phone call lasting just one minute. it was a very tough thing, and i didn’t understand why. i still don’t understand why even today [...] they played their cards, and i wasn’t smart enough to move out at the right time. i did have an opportunity to move in abu dhabi in 2011 – that was the contract I needed to sign – and that was the only opportunity I had to sign that contract. i didn’t sign it because i wanted to be faithful to the people who had helped me since i was 15.” - 2023

"i tell you something – when i sleep, i still have very strange dreams of that time, especially about the impotence and the frustration of never making it, of seeing mr. [helmut] marko always angry, telling us off. as if we were children. [...] i have not been able to erase this.i have done therapy, when i retired several psychologists helped me… now, even so, strange things come to my head. and sometimes wake up, like, crying, having dreamt of having done a great lap only to see the face of mr. marko, angry [...] this has created a trauma – and I am convinced that buemi and many others are also going through it." - 2022

alguersuari was prielli test driver 2012-13. he was later one of the founding drivers of formula e in 2014, alongside former teammate buemi and ex-toro rosso drivers liuzzi and vergne. after only a season, he was forced to suspend racing activities after suffering from unexplained fainting spells, which were later resolved. in 2015 he retired from motor racing entirely, at the age of 25, having "fallen out of love" with it. he is now a professional dj and staged a return to competitive karting in 2021. he continues to be a vocal supporter of buemi and spanish compatriot carlos sainz jr.

jean-éric "jev" vergne, toro rosso (2012-14), aged 21-24*

(serious content warning, this one gets very upsetting and talks about eating disorders, extreme dieting, weight restrictions and hospitalisation).

vergne took part in the goodwood festival of speed, driving an f1 car, in 2010. after this, it was announced that he would test for toro rosso in the young drivers test of the same year. he went on to drive in selected free practies in 2011.

he was confirmed to race for toro rosso ahead of the '12 season, alongside teammate daniel ricciardo. in this season, he scored points on only four occasions and after the european grand prix was ruled by the fia to have caused an avoidable collision with heikki kovalainen, resulting in a ten place, double grid drop penalty and a fine of €25,000. he crashed out on one other occasion and had two retirements due to suspension failure. despite a poor showing in that season, he outscored teammate ricciardo with sitxteen points to ricciardo's ten.

in his second season, despite finishing higher in the standings, vergne scored fewer points on fewer occasions. of his five retirements, three were caused by mechanical failure and one was caused by tyre failure (a problem which plagued the entire grid that season and led to questions about pirelli's suitability as manufacturer). he was outscored by teammate ricciardo who scored twenty points to vergne's thirteen and was subsequently promoted to red bull ahead of vergne for the '14 season.

the '14 season proved to be particularly unlucky for vergne, with five dnfs total, all of which came over the course of eight races. despite this he scored points on seven occasions, giving him his best driver's championship finish with twenty two points, giving him 13th place, more than doubling team mate kvyat's score of eight. all but one of his retirements were from mechanical failure, with the final dnf being caused by collision with pastor maldonado (this was no fault of vergne's and collisions with maldonado were a problem that plagued the entire grid this season).

at the end of the '14 season, vergne was initially to be dropped in favour of max verstappen. sebastian vettel's not-unexpected move to ferrari opened up a space at red bull alongside ricciardo, to which kvyat was promoted, despite vergne reporting that the seat had been promised to him in the event of vettel's departure. this would have left a space for vergne at toro rosso, however, he was ultimately dropped from toro rosso and the seat went to carlos sainz jr. vegrne failed to secure an f1 drive for the '15 season and has not raced in f1 since.

it was reported that in the '14 season, between the australian and malaysian gps, vergne had been hospitalised after starving himself to meet new weight regulations (valtteri bottas, then at williams, has also spoken about the eating/exercise disorder he developed around the same time due to the same regulations). this was particularly a problem for the taller and/or more stockily built drivers - vergne is 6ft, tall for an f1 driver. he weighed 69kg to kvyat's 61kg. mclaren even rejected the idea of signing nico hulkenberg because of his weight. adrian sutil, another tall driver, accused other, smaller drivers of repeatedly blocking rule changes aimed at improving conditions for taller/heavier drives.

jean todt, then president of the fia, dismissed the concerns of the drivers at the time and said, specifically about vergne: "i think normally you can do a good diet and not to have to go to hospital because you have been losing so many kilos. i don't think you go to hospital because you are on a diet."

vergne has said about his time with the red bull family: "i will not attack them, because without them I would not be where I am at the moment, but it is a really difficult story for me. when I started in formula 3, [helmut marko] called me and said: ricciardo has shown you how to do it. if you don’t win the championship, you can leave. [vergne says about a second phone call] i was starting on pole and eventually i won that race, but Marko thought it was unacceptable that i had not also taken the fastest lap. that’s just how he is.” - 2019

"since it was announced mid-year that I would be out of toro rosso it would have looked very bad if, when vettel decided to leave for Ferrari, that he had called me back to go to red bull. during this frank conversation with helmut, i said what if vettel leaves. he told me vettel would not leave. And I said but what if. and he said you’d be the next one to go to red bull. but so yeah… we found out on the saturday or the friday that vettel was going to ferrari and red bull wanted to respond straight away and they announced kyvat in the morning without talking to anyone. it was a tough moment and then of course franz tost wanted to keep him, he wanted an experienced driver together with max but once again red bull could not say we are going to keep vergne and there was another driver coming with carlos sainz so they put him in the car. i wish helmut would have done it as it did with many other drivers and wait until the last race of the season to tell them because if he had waited, with the grands prix i had done before Japan [and vettel’s announcement], i was in a much stronger position to go to red bull racing than kvyat.” - 2021

"i did not smile for three years." - 2019

vergne moved to the newly formed formula e, where he has raced ever since. he is the only driver to have won two formula e world championship titles, which he did back to back in 2018 and 2019. he currently races for ds penske alongside fellow champion stoffel vandoorne.

daniil kvyat, toro rosso (2014), red bull (2015-16), toro rosso/alphatauri (2017, 2019-20), aged 19-25

(serious content warning, this one's really fucking heavy and involves depressive episodes and possible suicidal behaviour. also, sorry if you're a sebastian vettel fan, he's partly to blame here).

kvyat first came to the attention of the red bull junior driver program in 2009, after winning the karting winter cup in the kf3 category. he remained with red bull throught his time in the motorsports feeder series and was given a drive at toro rosso for the '14 season, alongside returning driver vergne.

he had an average rookie season, scoring points on five occasions, with a best finish of ninth, which was significantly outscored (as expected) by his more experienced teammate. all five of his retirements were caused by mechanical failure. depsite this, he was advanced to red bull ahead of vergne, who ultimately failed to secure a drive in f1.

kvyat's '15 season at red bull was impressive for a driver with limited experience. he scored points on all but five occasions and achieved a second-place podium finish, become the second-youngest driver ever to achieve this (at the time). he failed to start on one occasion and dnfed on another due to engine failure. his other dnf, however, came after crashing into teammate ricciardo, whose race was significantly impeded as a result.

despite ricciardo's race win, kvyat outscored his teammate in the '15 season by three points.

in the '16 season, kvyat was demoted to toro rosso after just four races, one of which he failed to start. despite scoring points in bahrain and finishing in third-place in china, red bull opted to swap kvyat and toro rosso driver max verstappen after kvyat's home race of the russian grand prix, in which he finished fifteenth. he struck the ferrari of sebastian vettel at the end of the first lap, retiring vettel's car and severely impeding his own race.

after the chinese gp, vettel slammed kvyat's "suicidal" driving, following his collision with teammate kimi raikkonen on turn one while taking avoiding action around kvyat, despite the stewards taking no action and many suggesting that vettel was in fact to blame. vettel finished second and was in the cool down room ahead of the podium with kvyat when he laid into him on live television. he subsequently dubbed kvyat "the torpedo".

after the russian gp, many news outlets and social media accounts noted that kvyat appeared morose and depressed, as well as reporting that he had removed all information from his social media bio to say "just a human". multiple social media posts from fans described kvyat as looking "suicidal" or stated that red bull/toro rosso must be on "suicide watch".

of the swap, christian horner said: "dany will be able to continue his development at toro rosso, in a team that he is familiar with, giving him the chance to regain his form and show his potential."

kvyat, who many continued to note looked extremely depressed for the rest of the season, score on only three occasions with toro rosso in the '16 season. despite this, and despite speculation that he would be dropped altogether, he was re-signed for the '17 season.

the '17 season went poorly for kvyat, who was plagued with mechanical failures as well as retirements due to driver error. he scored points on only three occasions and was replaced by pierre gasly from the malaysian gp onwards, although he returned for the us gp to replace carlos sainz jr, who had moved to renault, before being replaced again by brendon hartley, with helmut marko confirming that kvyat would not be returning to toro rosso for the '18 season.

despite being considered for williams in the '18 season, kvyat failed to secure a drive and spent the season as ferrari reserve driver.

kvyat rejoined toro rosso ahead of the '19 season, replacing pierre gasly who had been promoted to red bull. he raced alongside rookie teammate alex albon. he put in strong performances, finishing in the points on ten occasions and bringing home a third-place podium at the german gp. however, two of his three retirements were caused by collisions, in one of which kvyat was deemed by the fia to be at fault, adding to his growing, but largely unfair, reputation at "the torpedo" (in the other, ricciardo locked up and collided with kvyat, reversing into him whilst attempting to rejoin the race).

despite his good results, he was outscored in the early part of the season by temmate albon, and kvyat remained at toro rosso whilst albon was promoted mid-season to replace pierre gasly who was demoted.

kvyat continued at toro rosso, now rebranded as alphatauri in the '20 season. despite scoring well, scoring points in seven of the seventeen races (including one shock third place podium, toro rosso’s first since sebastian Vettel in 2008) and retiring only twice (once in a collision, which may have been caused by a tyre puncture rather than driver error, and one with suspension failure), he was outmatched by teammate gasly who claimed the team's first win since sebastian vettel at the italian grand prix. gasly finished the season with more than twice kvyat's total points (seventy-five to kvyat's thirty-two).

alphatauri chose not to renew kvyat's contract for the '21 season, electing instead to give the seat to the rookie yuki tsunoda. kvyat was reserve driver, alongside zhou guanyu, for alpine in the '21 season but has not raced in f1 since.

kvyat has been vocal about his poor treatment by the red bull family, saying: "from toro rosso to red bull, not easy of course. it’s a different f1 team, the top and the midfield has a different mentality. also, very difficult times for the team. everyone was very stressed. It was the opposite of now, now they have a dominant car, at the time, it was one of their worst cars. christan [horner] wasn’t happy. helmut [marko] wasn’t happy. so, they were difficult times at red bull. so to basically help them get through their shittiest times, and then they get rid of you.. but whatever, it was still a great chapter.” - 2023

he also said: "obviously the decision in a way was a bit of a shock also for myself. one week I was standing on the podium and then suddenly there were a few decisions made around. as i said, the bosses make them and I have nothing else but to accept them and do my best job possible now in the team i am with – and it is toro rosso. it should be ok – i think I have done everything correctly until now. and nothing will change from my side [...] i really felt betrayed then, it was a knife in the back, but that’s part of life. sometimes that happens, it’s normal. it is now in the past." - 2023

"the truth is after 2016, i didn’t really want to be there [at toro rosso]. zero motivation. i didn’t like working for them and every time i woke up, i was like, i have to go drive the car again with them. so it wasn’t very enjoyable at the time. in 2017, it was difficult because I had zero motivation and carlos was extremely motivated. and then if you go with this mentality against a motivated carlos, there’s no point. so for me i wish i had a chance with someone else in F1. red bull gave me a lot but since we had our issues, it was very difficult. and I didn’t have a lot of motivation to be there." - 2023

although kvyat entered the world endurance championship in 2022, he was forced to withdraw after the fia introduced limiting conditions to the ability of russian drivers to compete following the russian invasion of ukraine. kvyat called these conditions "unfair and descriminatory." he made three starts in nascar in 2022 and is currently testing in formula e, with a view to gaining a full drive in the '24 season.

carlos sainz jr., toro rosso (2015-17), aged 20-23**

sainz, son of successful rally cross racer carlos sainz sr., joined the red bull junior team in 2010 while racing in formula bmw. he then moved up the feeder series, taking part in the f1 young drivers' test in 2013. he joined the toro rosso team ahead of the '15 season.

in his debut race he qualified inside the top ten and ultimately finished ninth, scoring points. he went on to score points in seven of the ninteen races, only finishing an additional four. all eight of his retirements were caused by technical issues. despite his good results teammate verstappen more than doubled his score and was ultimately advanced to red bull over sainz early in the '16 season.

during his second season at toro rosso, he scored a total of forty six points, two and half times his score of the previous season and more than 2/3 of the teams total points.

in his third season for toro rosso, sainz continued to improve his scores, including a fourth place finish for toro rosso in singapore. despite this, sainz publicly commented that it was "unlikely" that he would stay with toro rosso during the austrian gp. this was refuted by christian horner who insisted that sainz would race for toro rosso in the '18 season.

despite scoring forty eight of toro rosso's fifty two points at that point in the season, sainz was "loaned" to renault from the us grand prix onwards, following the departure of jolyon palmer. he went on to end his relationship with red bull at the end of the season, leaving toro rosso for a full drive at renault.

though sainz has not spoken openly about his relationship with red bull, helmut marko said:

"we did not send sainz away and it is not for nothing that we were once very early to sign him. verstappen and sainz were very well matched, but we had no opportunity to offer him more [than a place at toro rosso]. he was not convinced of the future prospects at toro rosso. he felt he was not moving forward and he did not want to wait any longer. we first loaned him out and then we canceled the contract completely. after all, we did not want to stand in the way of his future." - 2021.

marko has also been critical of the involvement of carlos sainz sr. in his son's career, saying that his father is "one of those motorsports fathers who doesn't look at it objectively, which is understandable, and just always does what he thinks is best for his son." - 2021

sainz's time at renault was regarded as unsuccessful but later moves to mclaren and then ferrari proved fruitful. sainz still races in f1 with ferrari and is now a multiple race-winning driver.

brendon hartley, toro rosso (2017-18), aged 27-30*

hartley arrived in f1 as an fia wec champion, which he had won in 2015.

he had previously worked as a test driver for both red bull (2008-10) and mercedes (2012-13). he was dropped from his role as red bull test driver at the end of 2010, with red bull citing his failure to win a race during that season of formula renault 3.5 (for context, fellow test driver and teammate daniel ricciardo won the series).

he was initially brought in to race in the stead of pierre gasly at the 2017 us gp. gasly was absent in order to compete in the final round of the super formula championship. hartley's qualifying performance was marred by an engine grid drop penalty and he eventually finished the race in thirteenth.

he remained a toro rosso driver for the rest of the season, replacing kvyat. he failed to score any points, and retired in two of the three remaining races with mechanical failure, as well as taking a ten place grid drop penalty for changing power units.

in the '18 season, hartley scored points on only three occasions, finishing the season twenty five points behind teammate pierre gasly. he retired on five occasions, three caused by technical issues. overall his season was marred by a host of car related issues and associated grid drop penalties.

toro rosso announced hartley's replacement with alex albon at the end of the '18 season.

of his time with in the red bull family, hartley has said:

"of course, I would have liked to have stayed longer and kept progressing. i developed a lot during that season and I was doing a very good job at the end of the year. we didn’t have the car to finish in the points all the time. i learnt so much from that season. some things were tough. [...] sometimes some of the questions the media was asking or rumours. Sometimes you are under the microscope. i didn't always enjoy that. but again, it taught me a lot and it made me a lot stronger as a driver coming out the other side of that. i look back really only positively. absolutely no regrets. i gave it my best shot. there are only 20 cars on the grid." - 2023

hartley went on to drive a brief stint in formula e. he has continued in endurance racing and now holds three wec titles and three 24hrs of le mans titles, and like buemi is one of the most decorated drivers racing outside of f1.

pierre gasly, toro rosso (2017), red bull (2018-19), toro rosso/alphatauri (2019-2022), aged 21-26**

(serious content warning, this one covers the death of anthonie hubert).

gasly joined the red bull junior drivers team whilst competing in formula renault 3.5 in 2014. he was named red bull reserve driver in 2015 and made one appearance in formula e at the 2017 new york eprix, racing for renault. gasly made his debut in f1 for toro rosso in 2017 at the malaysian gp, replacing daniil kvyat, however he was forced to miss the us gp as he was racing concurrently in the super formula championship, the final round of which clashed. he failed to score any points in the five races he drove in in the '17 season, but did finish every race.

in the '18 season, he was given the drive at toro rosso alongside brendon hartley. he impressed, bringing home a total of twnty-nine points (compared to hartley's four) and scoring points on five occasions. three of his five dnfs were caused by mechanical failure, and of the two collisions, one was not gasly's fault as grosjean's tyres created a smoke screen eliminating both gasly and hulkenberg who were unable to see.

gasly was promoted to red bull for the '19 season, after daniel ricciardo left the team to go to renault. despite finishing in the points on nine occasions, with only two retirements (one due to mechanical failure, the other crashing into toro rosso driver alex albon), gasly was demoted to toro rosso ahead of the italian gp (the thirteenth round). this was after poor qualifying results, a couple of crashes and being lapped by teammate verstappen at the hungarian gp, who was much outperforming him (surprising no one). both christian horner and helmut marko confirmed that gasly would stay at red bull until the end of the season when rumours that gasly would be demoted began circumlating, but this proved to be false.

christian horner said of the demotion that the team needed to be able to "make an informed decision as to who will drive alongside max [verstappen] in 2020" and that "we desperately need [gasly] realising more of the potential of the car."

an ex-f1 senior systems engineer at red bull, although he professes to have heard this second hand, has also claimed on social media that Gasly got “quite vocal with adrian [newey] over the set-up of the car. it became a bit of a shouting match in the garage and then once that happened you know in front of Marko and that it was back to the sister team you go.” - Dan - EngineMode11 (on social media)

ahead of the belgian gp, his first race since being demoted, gasly's "best mate", anthoine hubert, was killed in the f2 support race. gasly was particularly affected by the death. christian horner sought out gasly ahead of the race and, self-reportedly said: "so all i could do was try to offer some support and say that anthoine was doing exactly what he wanted to do, and 'if he had the opportunity to be racing the formula 1 car that you're in tomorrow, he would have grabbed that opportunity with both hands."

despite the demotion, gasly achieved five more points finishes, including one second-place podium, toro rosso's best finish since sebastian vettel in 2008. he scored thirty two points for toro rosso (and ninty-five overall) compared to teammate kvyat's ten in the same period.

gasly was retained by the team for the '20 season and following the rebrand to alphatauri, again alongside kvyat. he scored points on ten occasions, with three dnfs (twice due to mechanical failure and once in a multi-car pile up). his early success, even before his win at the italian gp, led to widespread speculation that he would be promoted back to red bull after showing much improvement.

at the italian gp, gasly finished first, scoring toro rosso's second ever win. this was made possible through taking advantage of an early safety car and lewis hamilton receiving a penalty. even so, gasly demonstrated skill in overtaking lance stroll and holding off a charging carlos sainz jr. though franz tost praised gasly, he dismissed the possibility of him returning to red bull any time soon. he scored 75 points total that season, outscoring kvyat.

gasly dedicated his win to anthoine hubert, who he revealed had texted him ahead of the '20 belgium gp with the words "prove them wrong", which became a personal mantra.

despite his success, and the firing of alex albon, gasly was passed over for promotion to red bull. instead, the seat went to non-red bull family driver sergio perez.

he continued to impress in the '21 season, scoring a total of one hundred and ten championship points and securing a third place podium, as well as outscoring rookie teammate tsunoda (as expected), and was again passed-over for promotion in favour of retaining perez, who had received mixed reviews.

a visibly frustrated gasly did not score as well in the '22 seson, partly owing to an uncompetitive car. he scored only twenty three points and left alphatauri of his own volition for a drive at alpine in the '23 season. he was replaced by rookie nyck de vries.

gasly has been vocal about his treatement by red bull, even during his time at alphatauri (which many believe to be part of the reason he was repeatedly passed over for promotion).

of his time with the red bull family, gasly has said: " "from the moment I made my first mistake in a car, i felt like people there slowly began to turn on me. i'd had a crash in winter testing and from that moment on the season never really got going. then i had a tough first two races with red bull and the media just ate me up. anything i said in the press was twisted into an excuse for my form, and nobody really stuck up for me. the car wasn’t perfect and i was doing my best to try to improve and learn each week. but here’s what i’ll say about it – it was a difficult time for me at red bull because i didn’t feel like i was really supported and treated the same way as others there have been. And for me, that’s something i just can’t accept. i was working my ass off every day, trying to get results for the team, but i was not being given all the tools i needed to succeed. i would try to offer solutions but my voice wasn’t heard, or it would take weeks to see changes. for whatever reason, i was never going to be a fit in that seat — it was just never going to work. i’m not the type of person to start stuff in the media because i am truly grateful to red bull for the chance, as well as for everything they have done for me in my career. i really am. but i’m allowed to tell my truth.” - 2021

gasly now races at alpine alongside esteban ocon.

(personal aside, i find what christian horner said to pierre after anthoine hubert's death horrifying and morally bankrupt. if someone has lost their best friend in a racing accident on the same track they are due to race in the following day, there should be no form of pressure on them whatsoever to race. staff at red bull have repeatedly referred to, directly or indirectly, drivers wanting to cancel a race or to choose not to race personally following a major accident as some kind of cowardly. this is simply not true and it is my opinion that they should be publicly reprimanded by the fia and their peers for such behaviour).

alex albon, toro rosso (2019), red bull (2019-20), aged 22-24

albon became part of the red bull academy in 2012, but was dropped the same year. initially he was contracted to appear in formula e in the '19 season, racing with nissan, but his contract was cancelled to allow him to race for toro rosso in f1.

in his debut season, albon raced for toro rosso for only twelve races before being promoted to red bull, to replace the demoted gasly. his results had been fair to good, scoring points on five occasions, with a best finish of sixth. he retired only once in a collision that was no fault of his own.

after being promoted ahead of the belgian gp, albon finished in the points on all but one occasion, with a best finish of fourth, though he failed to gain a podium place (the goal for red bull at the time). his fourteenth place finish came after being struck and sent into spin by hamilton.

in the '20 season, albon finished in the points on all but four occasions, gaining two third-place podiums. both dnfs were caused by mechanical failure. he brought home a total of 105 points and finished seventh in the championship. despite these ostensibly good results, especially for someone who had only raced two seasons in f1, albon was dropped ahead of the '21 season after being significantly outperformed by teammate verstappen.

about his time at red bull, albon has said: "this isn’t to throw shade at anyone at red bull racing or max or anything, honestly. but the car is set up in a unique way that is built around the lead driver, and that’s max. and, look, i totally get why. i mean, when all is said and done, he might be the greatest driver of all time. but he has a very distinct style of driving, and he likes the car set up a certain way that’s hard for a lot of drivers to sync up with. of course, you can tinker and tweak your own car, but just the red bull in general is suited to max’s style. i like a lot of front end and nose. I’ve been teammates with george and charles and i've always had way more nose than them. and when i got into the red bull … i mean there was so much nose on the thing that if you blew on the wheel the car would turn. if you play call of duty, or a game like that, turn your sensitivity up to the highest it will go. that’s what it’s like to drive that car." - 2023

he has also said "it was the experience that was missing." - 2022

albon remained at red bull as reserve driver for the '21 season , as well as taking on a coaching role for rookie alphatauri driver yuki tsunoda, before securing a drive at williams for the '22 season. he continues to race there.

nyck de vries, alphatauri (2023), aged 28*

prior to racing in f1, nyck de vries raced in formula e for mercedes, where he was crowned champion in 2021. he also served as a test driver for mercedes f1, williams and aston martin.

he made his debut in f1 racing for williams in 2022 after being called up as reserve driver to race in place of alex albon, who was suffering from appendicitis.

he impressed during his debut, scoring points after finishing in ninth and being awarded driver of the day by fans.

despite much speculation that he would sign for williams in 2023, replacing nicholas latifi, de vries was successfully poached by alphatauri, replacing pierre gasly.

de vries failed to score any points in his races for alphatauri, with his highest finish being twelfth. he retired once due to driver error. after early speculation that he would lose his seat, he was dropped less than half way through the season after the end of the british grand prix, alphatauri forgoing the typical season's grace afforded to rookies. he was replaced by daniel ricciardo.

though de vries has yet to speak in any detail about his time with the red bull family, christian horner has said that the decision was made to replace him after daniel ricciardo performed well in eleven laps of testing. he said: "it all happened a little quicker than expected, bearing in mind we hadn’t completed the test [...] helmut spoke with nyck – you know, he was the one that obviously had recruited him – so he was the one that spoke with nyck about lap 11 of the test it was becoming a difficult situation for nyck, but there was a high expectation on him because, whilst inexperienced in formula 1, he’s obviously a very experienced driver. i think there was a general feeling that nyck wasn’t quite hitting the mark. and then the question was, what are the options if we were to switch things around? the situation was clear. It was a question of, okay, what’s the point in waiting? that would have meant obviously leaving him in the car until after the summer break."

de vries has since returned to formula e with mahindra racing.

so there you have it, the complete(ish) history of red bull crimes against their drivers, going all the way back to the beginning. i hope that you take this information and use it to make an informed decision about whether you personally want to support red bull and/or alphatauri in f1 (as teams, not the drivers individually). i personally cannot support any red bull family team in f1 because of this history of psychological/emotional abuse of their drivers and work place bullying. i am aware that this behaviour is not unique to red bull, but red bull display possibly the most extensive history of it, despite only coming into being in 2005. likewise they have made no effort to correct or acknowledge their wrongdoings.

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fatuismooches · 9 months

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I've been brainrotting about reverse comfort and sickfics a lot recently. There are HCs about harbingers taking care of sick reader, we can do the same for them😤

In my imagination, excluding Scara for obvious reason, harbingers are separated into 3 groups when sick:

1. Compliant ones. They understand they can't get any of their work done when sick and will calmly rest until full recovery

Capitano - he's reasonable enough to understand he can't get any of field work done when sick, so he'll patiently wait for recovery. He advises you not to spend too much time around him, fearing you'll get sick, but you insist on taking care of him. Capitano won't express it, but he's so grateful

Columbina - she's so sad bc her throat is sore and she can't sing😔 But she takes this as opportunity to rest well and take a lot of naps with you taking care of her🥺 Even when healthy she's very affectionate, but when she's sick it's x10! I hope reader doesn't forget to wear a mask in all of scenarios

(Platonic) Pulchinella - he's way behind rebellious era, as an old man he knows that going around when sick won't do any good for anyone. Like Capitano, he insists that you shouldn't spend your time around it, but not only so you won't get sick, but bc you're young - there are better ways to spend time as a youngster than caring for an old man, especially since he knows how to handle himself

La Signora - her pyro magic will be a death to her when sick😔 she feels like she's boiling in her skin so even if she wanted to disobey reader and work, she couldn't and she feels so so weak;; Signora needs not only medicine, but good amount of comfort too😞

Pantalone - initially, I thought about putting him in group of rebellious ones, but then I gave it more thought... I think Panta has very good immune system, so when he gets sick it hits him like a truck. Like Signora, even if he wanted to work, he physically can't. And getting sick brings Pantalone back to times, when he couldn't afford any medicine ;; Memories hit him harder, than fever does so please distract him from them

2. 50/50. Stubborn, you'll need to convince them to rest, they might complain, but eventually give up

Arlecchino - I see her as a person, who doesn't want to seem weak in Reader's eyes, plus someone has to run orphanage, so she'll stay on her feet for as long as she can. You'll have to forcefully drag her to rest, she will protest. Just tell Arlie that she will get kids sick and that's a much more worse problem than spending a week bedridden and she'll give up. While she's sick, you're the one who watches over Heart of the Hearth

Tartaglia - he's restless. Insists he's fine, but you look at his red cheeks, glassy eyes and order him to rest, making sure he doesn't escape to do field work or something else in cold of Snezhnaya, like fishing, so you'll have to keep him entertained while he's bedridden. I think Childe actually can recover quickly and doesn't feel that bad, unlike Signora or Pantalone

3. The "I'll to tie you up if you don't go back to bed right now!!" group, enough said

Pierro - why he's here? Well, I think as a Director of the Fatui he has lots and LOTS of work matters to attend to, so it'll take you lots of convincing to get him to rest, bc as soon as you try to, some fatui underlings fill a report on Dottore for threatening them, Pierro also has to attend meeting with harbingers today and make sure it goes smoothly, then he has to get through reports of fatui agents from all over the seven nations... Old man, please, your fever is so high that you read the first page of report for the 4th time already. Fatui won't fall apart if you lay in bed and rest for a week, trust me

Dottore - I'm not sure IF he can get sick, Dottore probably modified his body to avoid this but for the sake of headcanon, let's say he can. He just gulps some pills and continues his experiments. Imagine the following scene - fatui underlings, who work in constant fear of upsetting their harbinger, see reader scolding Dottore for not only not eating and sleeping properly, but also for working while sick - all without a single shred of fear😨. Dottore brushes it off and says he'll just inject medicine and will be okay in no time but you want to hear none of this. Off to bed you go! Dottore will escape from your grasp to check on his experiments though...

Sandrone - like you wrote in bathing HCs - get her own automatons to work against her! No, Sandrone, your projects can wait. You can't focus properly! Now say "aaah", I promise this medicine is not bitter. But as soon as you fall asleep, she will try to get back to her projects, but since you got her automatons to cooperate with you, they will stop her, waking you up in process. No, young lady, I'm not letting you work until you recover and that's final!

HOLY IM CARESSING THIS SO DEARLY WTF I LOVE THEM ALL DEARLY😭😭😭🥺 I will take care of ALL of them 😤😤

Ah Capitano,, the bb. The idea of that huge deadly man becoming sick is kinda funny to me. You probably didn't even know it was possible at first. But you easily recognize the signs and order him to stay in bed (he is surprisingly compliant but he turns to mush around you in general, also he trusts your human advice very much since he's unaware of these things) Gosh and since he's afraid of hurting you in generally he'd be scared of making you sick too :( Even after you insist you'll be fine he comments on your safety every now and then. To which you reply he'll have to worry about his own safety if he keeps this up. (He doesn't understand you're jokingly threatening him.)

COLUMBINA NOOOO BABY GIRL... It feels so quiet without her lovely voice :( You miss her singing dearly but Bina promises to sing you her latest tune as soon as she's better! Make sure to brew her some nice soothing hot tea. And oh she's so shamelessly clingy. Neither of you is leaving her room!! She wants you to take care of and pamper her so much, comb her hair for her and choose her outfits, nurse her back to health. And also explain to Pierro why she's slacking on her duties <3 (Yup make sure to take precautions otherwise they'll be taking care of you next 😭)

WAHHH PAPANELLA MY HEART- He's a reasonable man, he can easily understand his situation and the consequences of what would happen if he tried to fight it (he probably did in his younger years) so he doesn't object to bed rest. Papanella knows it's really boring and you could be doing more productive things, but he's glad when you decide to stay ;( He's so happy he has such a good-natured child around, not many people are as kind as you nowadays. He'll happily go on about his younger days even though he's supposed to be resting, he still wants to keep you happy and entertained 🥺 (He just loves talking to you in general, he loves when you listen so intently)

Oh Signora, she's so vulnerable right now, even her Cryo Delusion is of no help :( She can't remember the last time she got sick and she completely hates it. She's a very independent and strong woman so she loathes the feeling of powerlessness,,, when she's under the weather you're the only person she wants to see, otherwise she'll get irritated. Make sure to tuck her in and stay by her side as she sleeps, she doesn't want to wake up to you not by her side. Also cook her some homemade soups and stews from Mondstadt, she'll internally get a bit emotional.

STOP IM DISINTEGRATING AT PANTALONE'S... He definitely has a really strong immune system from all he went through as a child. So he hasn't gotten sick in a while so when he finally does he's just like. Oh. And he tries not to let anyone know/see because he really hates this feeling since it's coupled with a lot of bad memories from his childhood. From when he had no one to take care of him. No one who cared. Still having to work to survive. Wondering if he'd be the next to succumb to illness like the many others he'd seen. Pantalone gets oddly quiet when he's sick so you'll have to talk a lot to distract him :( He appreciates it more than he lets on though - having someone genuinely love and take care of him during this is something he's always wanted since he was a child.

Oh Arlie bb... you don't need to keep up your walls in front of your lover :( I agree, she always tries to appear calm and composed to you, she doesn't want you to worry about her. So she acts as though she's completely fine. And since she's good at pretending you don't notice her fatigue until a few days later (even she can't hide from you forever, you know her better than everyone) and immediately you try to convince her to just rest. Arlie will try to deflect and deny your accusations until you wear her down with your arguments. In the end she has to accept your logic (and also the fact that seeing you upset because of her hurts her more than she liked to admit.)

Childe is always the one taking care of his family when they're sick, so when he finds himself as the sick one he is surprised and tries to ignore it. He's tough, he can handle it! He's been through way worse battles and survived! You will have to block the entrance to the door physically and push him to bed, which he'll resist and whine at first, but in the end, he won't say no to you. I don't know, use some reverse logic against him too. Ask him if he'd want to fight someone who's not in tip-top shape. No? It wouldn't be satisfying? Okay, then don't put your enemies through that! He has a soft spot for being pampered once in a while, so read him some stories and steal his recipes please :)

OH GOD Getting Pierro to rest is one of the hardest things you can put yourself through 😭 He's so swamped with all kinds of work, he stays in the same seat sorting through paperwork for hours on end. You swear the only break he takes is when you barge into his office to bother him to take a break! (Along with a meal because he NEEDS that despite denying it...) I don't know, you'll have to be a bit creative... steal his pens I guess? Either way, when you finally get him in bed, barricade the doors. Please relax Pierro, the Fatui is full of very questionable characters but they're capable at least. They won't die without you!

Ahaha Akademiya Dottore definitely got himself sick at least, whether it was from nonstop experimenting or from some unknown plant in the forest he got into contact with. He was hella grouchy but he was still physically human here so he had no choice but to listen to you begrudgingly. I bet he was giving you instructions on the next steps for his experiment while sick in bed (he's a silly guy.) For Fatui Dottore he definitely completely ignores his physical state and just downs some medicine and injections and continues on like nothing is wrong 😭 The Fatui soldiers are in tears while the clones are just like another normal day at your scolding. You won't be able to get this crazy man to rest fully but it's better than nothing right? Just try to stay awake as long as possible because he'll slip away once you're sleeping.

SANDRONE MY BELOVED!! Ahhh i will always be in love with the idea of the Automatons that SHE made working against HER because of YOU. Like, I'm your creator, you shouldn't be disobeying me! Too bad that some of them developed feelings and love seeing you with her :3 and will happily assist you with your desires. Sandrone will try to escape, but she knows better than anyone the strength of her Automatons. So after seeing how fruitless her attempts are she will eventually have to comply with you and stay in bed (maybe bring her something mechanical to do in bed 😭 she's really bored) At least now she will be a little more attentive to her condition now that she knows you are going to do this to her.

Since I'm biased I'm throwing in modern! Scara where he's not a puppet :3 I can see him being a mix of group 2 and 3 since he refuses to admit he's sick and just tries to keep pushing himself. Ignoring your pleas. He still hates appearing to be weak, especially in front of you. Though once you finally, finally get him to stay in bed he probably gets all clingy and demanding for you to stay by his side. He wants your attention on him so bad :( Please feed him some soup and stay by his side as he rants and then falls asleep <3

I feel like all of the Harbingers are super resistant to viruses and such, I wouldn't be surprised if they're even immune to different kinds of poison. So I think the main way of them getting sick would be overworking themselves along with added stress 😭 which honestly happens to all of them- please make sure to pull them away from their desks for a nap and cuddles every now and then 💞

#smooches talks #harbingers love notes <3 #I JUST WANT TO SQUEEZE THEM ALL BYE #i was giggling n kicking my feet more than writing #I LOVE THEM I CANT #LMFAO THE FATUI FILING A REPORT ABT DOTTORE IM DEADDD #the regular fatui members def gossip abt u bc of how much u have the harbingers in a chokehold 😭#pantalone x reader #dottore x reader #pierro x reader #capitano x reader #scaramouche x reader #la signora x reader #arlecchino x reader #sandrone x reader #childe x reader #columbina x reader

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angelsworks · 10 months

Text

Happy Birthday Klaus Mikaelson x Pinkie Pie! Reader

Type: Challenge One shot

Challenge Masterlist -> Here

Summary: You celebrate Klaus’ birthday, much to his displeasure.

Warnings: Nothing really , mentions of violence

If you could do anything for anyone it would be making them feel special. In a world practically bursting with people, it’s easy for some to fall through the cracks. Into the lonely abyss of forgotten. While you enjoy time to yourself, sometimes it’s too much.

The feeling of not being connected to anyone had deeply upset you since you were young. Maybe it was friends never trying with your relationship, or busy parents or teachers never bothering to learn your name because of your quiet nature. All of it combined really brought you down.

Until it didn’t and it instead pissed you off. You channeled how you felt to become more sociable in high school, using it as your chance to start again. You spoke with everyone no matter the clique or social status. Determined that no one in your reach would feel like you.

Naturally this filtered into celebrating birthdays. Whether it was bringing in presents or cards to any and everyone you’d spoken to. People in your class, in your after school groups, on your street. By sophomore year you’d cemented your position as the peppy party planner who was always the life of the party.

You’d kept that up all the way till senior year. Happy to make others happy. You kept a list of everyone birthday. Always staying on top of them. So why did everyone expect you to exclude Klaus Mikaelson from your list?

“I just don’t get it, how do you even know his birthday?” Caroline asked, before stabbing a piece of cake on her paper plate.

You smile as you pack away some blue solo cups, “I know everyone’s birthday.”

The blonde gives you a questioning look.

You laugh, “Maybe I’ve got some Bennet blood in my veins and I’m psychic.” You muse.

Caroline rolls her eyes, “When you can light candles with your mind let me know.”

“If I could, I still wouldn’t be able to put enough candles on Klaus’ cake.” The party had been for one of the girls in your art class. She’d asked if you’d help make it a memorable birthday and you could do nothing but deliver.

“I just don’t know if it’s a good idea. There’s all that stuff that happened with him and what if he like, I dunno, kills you?”

Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes at your friend. “That was ages ago. Now him and Elena are practically on speaking terms. Rebekah had no problem when I brought her a cake.”

Caroline chokes on the freshly frosted piece of blue birthday cake. One you’d made especially for Emily. From the rest of the decorations and the dress code, anyone could tell that was her favourite colour.

“Rebekah Mikaelson? She’s crazy. The amount of times she’s tried to kill me, to kill Elena.” She starts to rant.

It was true the Mikaelsons had brought trouble into town with them. Klaus was desperate for Elena’s blood, ready to kill anyone who stopped him. He and his family often clashed with Caroline and her friends. Occasionally you too, yet you tried to stay out of it.

After all parties had gotten what they wanted, with much mediation on Elijah’s part and changing of the a spell on Bonnie’s, they managed to reach an agreement.

“It was all smoother over, what it not?” You ask her, still busy packing away decorations. “Aren’t you meeting Elena today?”

Caroline raises her eyebrows in shock and practically throws her cake down. She takes a napkin to wipe her face, then starts to collect her stuff.

“You are totally right. Elena wants me to help Jenna pick out an outfit for her and Ricks anniversary.” She tells you.

“Thank you so much for this. Just be safe with Klaus okay. Don’t do anything reckless.” You wave her off, finally being able to stack boxes of party supplies together.

You say your goodbyes and watch the blonde hurry off. It doesn’t take long to pack all the items away. You see Emily before you leave. She’s clearly having a good time, with more than juice in her solo cup. She slurs her goodbye and thanks you extensively, at one point wrapping her arms around you in a jumble of a hug.

For Klaus’ cake you decided to go simple. Well simple ish. It was a plain enough cake that said happy birthday in white buttercream. It was covered in a blue fondant. When you finish you realise how boring it looks. While you don’t want to push your limits with this cake, you also want to go above and beyond for Klaus.

You’d heard of his tales, of what he’d done in the past. You’d also seen him around town. Always alone. It seemed he didn’t have all that many friends, outside of his siblings. Even they didn’t act like friends.

It reminded you of how you felt all those years ago. Alone and sad. Lonely in a town so small you’d bump into teachers all the time. Sometimes in the most inconvenient locations.

So you added extra details. You fashioned a brush and paint pallet out of fondant. Arranging it carefully on top of the cake. When you were satisfied with your work you put the cake in the box and in the fridge.

You wrote out a card and packed his present in a small bag. The present in question was a pack of small canvases and brushes. You knew he liked to paint. Once you’d seen his work on the wall of the Mikaelsons house. It was a large piece, portraying a field of flowers and a serene sky filled with the colours of a sunset. It was truly marvellous.

Yet it got you thinking, what about little canvases? Little piece of work that wouldn’t be as large a project, but could require just as much detail and precision for the small space.

Eyes wide and lips pulled up to smile brightly, you walked through the door of the bar. It was a little difficult with the large cake in your hands and present and card bag dangling from your arm, but your managed. You searched for Klaus, finding the man in a booth in a the corner of the bar. He sat alone of course, nursing a glass of scotch.

He didn’t look up when you walked towards his table. The bar was fairly empty and he was clearly in his own world.

You place the cake down on the table, then pulled the bag of your arm, placing it down next to it. Then you sit opposite him in the booth, moving the items on the table aside slightly so you can see Klaus.

Klaus’ eyebrows knit together in confusion. He knew you of course. Noticed you at his family’s ball and around town. He’d heard Rebekah gushing about you to Elijah. Talking about how happy she’d been when you brought her a cake and made her feel special.

“What all this Love?” He asks. You try not to let the pet name mean anything. While Klaus is an extremely attractive person you’re here for a purpose.

“Happy birthday!” You smile wildly then pull out a party blower from your pocket, giving it a blow. Much to the other patrons (not that there are many) displeasure.

He lets a small smile grow on his face, “Sorry love, but I think birthdays stop counting after you move into a four digits age.”

You shake your head, “No way. If you’re immortal then so is your birthday buddy.”

“Buddy?” He asks incredulous.

You push the bag towards him. To which he cautiously peels back the the tissue paper and pulls out the contents.

“They’re mini canvases.” You tell him. Then explain how you’ve see his work - which you think was really beautiful - and how you though painting a smaller canvas would be a different challenge and a change for him. He nods along. Almost entranced by what you’re saying.

“That’s really thoughtful, love. Thank you. I can’t remember the last time anyone celebrated my birthday.” He told you earnestly. Genuinely so appreciative of your kind gesture.

“Well that’s a real shame Klaus.” For a moment your eyes connect and you feel rooted in place. You try not to blush so instead move on to remove the cover of his cake.

“Now don’t get too upset, but there aren’t any candles on your cake. I think it would be a little difficult to fit over 1000 candles on there.” He laughs. Eyes move to appraise the cake. They widen in surprise at the detail on the cake and the paint pallet and paintbrush you’ve created.

“This looks amazing love. Thank you.” It’s the first time you’ve seen Klaus Mikaelson smile. It’s genuine and lights his face. For a moment he doesn’t look like some scary vampire. He looks like a man enjoying his birthday.

“Happy Birthday Klaus Mikaelson. Have a great day.” You say, reaching a hand out to his own.

Time seems to slow as you stare into his eyes. Your hands entwine and your heart skips a beat. You notice how there’s some green in his dark blue eyes. For a moment they shine gold.

It’s enough to bring you out of your daze. You move to stand only for Klaus to stop you.

“Aren’t you staying for a piece?”

#angelsworks post #klaus mikaelson headcanon #TVD #klaus x reader #mlp au #mlp challenge #klaus Mikaelson x reader #tvd oneshot #klaus mikaelson one shot

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lovemyromance · 29 days

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Let's get one thing clear. Azriel could like, get it, okay.

In my HCs, he is the hall pass of everyone in the IC. Excluding Mor...And Rhys, whose stubborn ass would probably say he's not saying anyone other than Feyre.

Anyways, my point is, the guy does not need work at all to get laid. He's 500 years old and has had his "fair share of lovers" and even Lucien's daddy wants him (can't blame you for that one Helion, I get it).

Tell me, why would such a man (who is repeatedly described as the most handsome of the bat boys), struggle so much to get sex that he must hit up the mated Archeron sister?

Is there truly no other fae in Velaris willing to sleep with this man? Come on, now. Half the priestesses he trains daily even want him.

You're telling me that man, has to go to Elain Archeron, to get laid? That he's only looking for sex from her?

Let's just ignore the fact that in his own POV he literally states how he has lost sleep over her, thinks he is so undeserving of her that his touch would taint her skin, that he is so hurt over the fact that she has a mate that is not him, and he canonically was ready to beg on his knees for a taste of her...

That Azriel only wants sex from her?

Can you genuinely provide me with a reason the esteemed, cold, calculating Spymaster of the NC would go to such lengths to pursue a mated female he knows would cause several problems within his court and has been expressly forbidden by his HL just to *excuse my french* get his dick wet??

Like stop it, y'all. He's not suddenly some clown because he wants an Archeron female. He's not going to risk his entire brotherhood, friendship, court security, life to go after a woman he only wants for sex.

Get it together. If you want to ship Elucien or Gwynriel or Azris even, go for it. If you think they're cute, for sure! But what you shouldn't be doing is going out of your way to twist canon and destroy another character just to suit your ship. Y'all know if Azriel had been with any other character or this was Lucien's POV secret encounter with Elain - you wouldn't have a single bad word. Enough, I'm sick of it.

#elriel #azriel #elain archeron #pro elain #elain x azriel #acotar #elain

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takenbypeter · 1 year

Text

“Just this once.”

Peter Parker x reader

Words: 755

FLUFF BINGO

Peter agreed to most things. He’s told you all his secrets. He let you know he was Spider-Man. He’s taken you web-slinging before. But the one thing…the one thing Peter didn’t let you do was wear his suit.

“Come on Peter, just let me try it on,” is what you said, as you took a couple steps closer to where he was seated on the corner of your mattress.

“Uh,” your boyfriend shook his head twice, amused smile already appearing on his face, “I don’t know about that.”

“Why not?”

“Trust me this is for your protection.” His hands leave his lap and gesture towards the window. “What if someone saw you? Then put the pieces together that you’re somehow connected to Spider-Man. I’m sorry I just can’t do it.” He said arms making an x shape showing how dead set he was opposed to this.

You understood where he was coming from and you appreciated his want to keep you protected but in that moment that was the lamest excuse you’ve ever heard and it showed on your face. With crossed arms and one eyebrow raised, you leaned back for a moment before nodding and heading to the window. Once there you tug the shades down, blocking anyone’s view from coming in. “There, now no one will see. Problem solved. Plus do you know how many times you’ve crawled through that window just wearing your suit, I think people would’ve caught on by now.”

Peter’s lips pressed together while his stare remained on the window that’s view was clearly now obstructed, not thinking this far ahead.

“Peter please, I just want to try it. Just this once.”

Peter’s eyes shut as he pressed them together in thought until he finally let out a breath, “just this once.”

You grin, cheeks protruding from how excited you are about this but you quickly suck your cheeks in face returning to neutral, “thank you very much I will not waste this opportunity,” you said, trying to sound as professional as ever.

Rolling his eyes followed by a grin he reached into his bag pulling out his suit. Practically grabbing the suit from his hands you immediately run to your closet.

When you ran into your closet, you forgot to take into account that there were already clothes in there so changing was a slight issue but you pushed through, too excited to be annoyed.

The moment the material touched your skin you felt a chill and once fully on you realized how snug it actually was. It wasn’t super uncomfortable but it would take a little getting used to.

Once the suit was fully on, excluding the mask, you make sure there are no creases before you grab hold of the door handle and turn it.

At first you were feeling a little self conscious considering how the suit hugged you in some areas, it was still moveable, just tight.

“Okay, it is a little tight, I’m honestly not sure how you wear this everyday.” You said stepping out into the light of your room.

You tugged on the sleeves and then the gloves, looking to make sure everything was in place correctly. “How do I look?” You looked up to see Peter practically gawking at you with his mouth hung slightly open, that made you feel a little bit better. A little bit embarrassed but still better.

“So?” You said breaking the ice since he obviously wasn’t going to. He shook his head, eyes still on your appearance, “I honestly would’ve let you try it sooner if I knew you’d look that good in it.”

You let out an embarrassed but thankful laugh as you looked at yourself in the mirror, taking in the new sight. “I do look pretty cool,” you shifted yourself seeing the way it looked at different angles before you realized he was still staring.

Turning to him again you ask, “what are you thinking?”

“Nothing,” he shakes his head, prompting you to take a few steps towards him. “No, what is it?” You wonder, placing yourself right in front of him.

Grinning he angles his head up towards you, “I’m just thinking, instead of just this one time. Maybe you could try the suit on again, just one more time, or many more times after that.”

You chuckle at him, interrupting his sentence with a teasingly, “oh shut up,” before leaning over his lap, and reaching out you tugged the neckline of his shirt, cutting his words off with your lips.

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bucketsofmonsters · 2 years

Text

The Witch’s Apprentice - Part 2

cw: demon summoning, nightmares, prolonged isolation, bugs, more tags will be added as the story continues

male demon x afab reader

Word count: ~4k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

He didn’t show up in another dream after that night.

You kept waiting for it to happen. It felt like an inevitability. No matter how many times you checked your books, you couldn’t find what you’d done wrong in your warding so you most definitely hadn’t fixed the problem.

The only way to properly fix it at this point would be to ask Eden and that was something you weren’t willing to do. Any trust you’d gained with her would be lost. You couldn’t mess it up. Not now, not when she’d just begun involving you in her work.

The longer you went without hearing from the demon the more nervous you got. Day after day you heard nothing, not even in a summoning with Eden. Even that would be a blessing, at least then you’d be able to get eyes on him, try and get a read on him.

She refused, insisting she was busy with things she couldn’t tell you about. The newfound openness that had come with you being involved in the summonings fell away and once again you were being excluded from her work entirely.

Impulsive. That’s what Eden had called each and every one of your attempts to do magic on your own, to figure it out without her guidance. Was she right? Probably.

Did you still wait until she left for a day to snatch the summoning book and face the source of your anxiety head on?

Absolutely.

You double and triple checked the books before you did anything. That had been driven into you, Eden had made your mistakes clear to you enough times to prove you didn’t have the luxury of confidence.

Most of it wasn’t even in your hands, the summoning circle left from old visits and most of the materials needed for the summoning still sitting together on the table. You had no idea what Eden was really doing with Lucien, what the trances were for or what deals she’d made, but the summoning part was fairly simple.

The book sat on the floor in front of you but you didn’t need it, the words long since memorized.

The second the air shifted it was filled with the demon’s sudden yelling. “One week! One week of not having to incessantly be pulled here and you couldn’t even…” The anger drained from his face the second he saw you. “You’re not your witch.”

“‘She’s not my witch.” You felt more sensitive about his wording while you were sitting here, disobeying her.

He seemed amused by the rebuttal. “Then who’s witch is she?”

“Her own, I suppose.”

“You could always tell me her name. Then I wouldn’t have to call her anyone’s witch.”

“Do we have to do this every time?” you asked with a sigh. Surely he must know that you wouldn’t fall for it, although you supposed you couldn’t fault him for trying.

With the realization that you wouldn’t budge on the name issue, at least for now, he shifted topics. “She doesn’t know you’re here.” It wasn’t a question but an observation, and an apt one at that.

You’d hoped he wouldn’t realize, would just assume she let you do what you wanted around here. The realization gave him another bargaining chip, a piece of information he could use to hurt you. You’d have to brace yourself for him to reveal it next time Eden summoned him.

But the damage had already been done, you might as well ask what you were here to ask.

“Why did you show up in my dream?”

“Aw, are you dreaming about me? I must have left quite the impression. What kind of dream was it? I hope it was a fun one.”

You tried once more, more forceful this time. “You showed up in my dream.”

He rolled his eyes as you refused to play. “I saw a chance and I took it. It’s not my fault you can’t ward yourself.”

You wanted to ask if you’d fixed the problem as you’d redone everything, if your warding was all good and sorted out now despite not finding the real issue but you knew he’d lie about it regardless. There was no point in it.

As you tried to find something useful to ask him, he helpfully chimed in, “I’m not telling you anything.”

You sighed. This confrontation was going just how you expected it to. “Yeah, I know.”

“Then why am I here?”

You shrugged.

He wasn’t willing to let go of it that easily. “What do you want from me?”

“Do I have to want something from you?”

“All humans do.”

Oh. You should probably figure that out. You took a mental note to think on it later.

“I’ll get back to you on that,” you promised him, although you weren’t entirely sure when. You certainly couldn’t say anything in front of Eden and you supposed you had no real reason to summon him again.

If you were honest with yourself, you had no real reason to summon him the first time. You knew how this would play out. And yet here he was, looming over you whilst being entirely unhelpful.

His head was tilted as he evaluated you. “If you don’t want anything from me, what should I do? I mean, I’m sure I can come up with something but history indicates you might not follow through on my ideas.”

His assumption was right. Whatever trickery he might be inclined to try would fall on deaf ears.

The problem was, you didn’t have anything better to say. You probably should have had a game plan for all of this. Maybe ‘impulsive’ wasn’t that far off.

At a loss for words, you uttered the only ones you had on hand. He rolled his eyes as the words of dismissal started to leave you

“Running away so quickly?”

His attempt to goad you did nothing to stop your momentum, running through the spell that you had memorized front to back.

When you looked up, he was gone, leaving behind an empty summoning circle on the floor.

You’d done it on your own and nothing happened. He hadn’t killed you or tricked you or broken free, he’d just stood there and talked to you.

It felt like a minor miracle. It had taken years to get Eden to let you sit silently in the room while she summoned something and you’d just done it on your own without a hitch.

You wanted to tell her. Well, to tell someone, but you had no one else to tell.

Other than Lucien, you supposed, but somehow you imagined that summoning him again just to get excited about how you’d summoned him the first time might not go over well.

Three days. That’s how long it took you to give in.

You’d done it once, proven to yourself you could summon him safely, and that opened the door to do it again. You no longer had the pretenses of before where you could tell yourself it was just to gather information on how he’d invaded your dreams but that could only stop you for so long.

You were a lonely person. You’d always been to some extent, but being stuck in this cabin certainly hadn’t helped matters.

You had Eden. For that you were eternally grateful. And for a long time that had been enough.

Demons were dangerous. That fact had been drilled into your head. You could never tell them your name or break the summoning circle or trust them with anything, but what you hadn’t anticipated was that they could make for shockingly good company.

Or maybe any company would feel like good company right about now. You weren’t sure how to tell.

You supposed you did want something from him, he was right. Companionship, not being alone for a while, call it whatever you wanted. It was disingenuous to claim you were summoning him for no reason and he’d realized it faster than you had.

Everyone had a reason. Everyone had something they wanted.

Disobeying Eden was just as difficult the second time around.

When Lucien arrived this time, he wasn’t angry. His gaze fell immediately to your little spot on the floor, not Eden’s trance circle, and you knew he was coming to expect you.

“Well, you’re nothing if not persistent.” He spoke with a laugh in his voice, ever amused by your antics.

“Thank you?”

“You're welcome.”

You had plenty of things that you could have said. You’d prepared a little better this time, with backup ideas to cover you so you wouldn’t have to send him away the second he started to question you.

Instead, you busied yourself, putting a kettle on the stove and cleaning off the counter in the room as Lucien stared on in bewilderment.

“Are you alright?” he asked as you rushed about. While it was far from concerned, it was the most genuine you’d heard him be.

“Do you care?”

“I wouldn’t normally but I can’t help but wonder what you’re up to.”

“I’m making tea.”

His confusion seemed to override the urge to be antagonistic and he quietly watched you rush about. As you brewed two mugs full of tea, you walked back over to the summoning circle and held one out for him.

He eyed the mug distrustfully. “What is it?”

“It’s for you, it’s tea!”

“I know what tea is, what did you put in it? Is there rosemary in here? Your witch loves the stuff, I can still smell it everywhere.”

Rosemary was toxic to demons. When Eden was between summoning sessions, she'd have you burn some throughout the house to ward off any unwanted entities. In times like these when she was working with the creatures and couldn’t use it without harming them, you tended to it in the garden until she needed it next.

You shook your head adamantly. “It’s bad etiquette to poison a guest. Besides, if I wanted to, I could just throw some rosemary at you. It’s not like you could go anywhere.”

“Fair enough.” A sly look crossed his face as he incredulously asked, “And you’re just going to hand it to me? Well, I’m not going to stop you.”

You couldn't help but be a little peeved at the comment. Surely eventually he would stop wildly underestimating you. “You can’t do anything as long as the summoning circle stays intact, which it is. I’m not a complete fool. Now do you want the tea or not?”

You held the mug out, waiting a moment for his response.

He finally took it, the mug looking quite silly as it was dwarfed in his hands.

“Sorry,” you said, scrunching up your nose at the sight. “We don’t have any bigger mugs.”

“I’m sure I’ll survive.”

He took a sip of the tea and you fought back a laugh at the sight of it.

He looked down at the mug with a furrowed brow. “Odd little concoction you’ve got here. So, as long as you seem averse to asking anything of me, I might as well ask. Why are you working for the witch?”

“Why wouldn’t I? She’s brilliant, she’s my best friend, she saved my life, I owe her everything. I’m just lucky she’s willing to teach me.”

“You owe her something? Has she trapped you here, what do you owe her?” He seemed eager to jump to that conclusion.

Where could he be getting that from? “No, of course not! She wouldn’t do that.”

“She’s done it to me.”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“I don’t know, she must have a reason.”

“I know. Everyone wants something, I told you that already. But I already know what she wants from me, what do you want from her?”

“What?” You’d expected him to prod further for your motivation, maybe ask once more why Eden even kept you around, but not that. “What do you mean?”

“Come on, something’s gotta be keeping you here. I don’t buy that it's you learning magic, you had to sneak off to be allowed to do anything, she isn’t teaching you shit.”

“Hey, she’s a great teacher. And I just want to help as much as I can.”

He shook his head. “I didn’t take you for a liar.”

“I’m not lying! That’s all I want from her, to help, her friendship, some company. I think that’s why I summoned you too, is it really that unbelievable?”

“You summoned me to help me? If so, you're doing a shit job of it.”

“No, for the company.”

He scoffed. “Noone needs company that badly. Try again.”

“How would you know?”

“What?”

“The people who need company have no one to tell about it so how would you know? There are probably plenty of people like me out there who wouldn’t mind a chat with you.”

“They can just go to a bar then, strike up a conversation with someone. The demon summoning seems like overkill to me,” he noted. “You could do the same. I don’t blame you for wanting to talk to someone other than your damn witch but if you want company so badly just go to town, I’m sure someone would be willing to humor you.”

That confused you. “You know I can’t do that. I can’t leave the cabin, the forest won’t let me. You saw, remember? When you broke into my head.”

“That was a nightmare. You can walk through the woods.”

“I told you it wasn’t a nightmare, it’s the woods laying claim to me. They tried to swallow me up before, she saved me. This place is the only place that’s safe from it.”

“I’ve been in these woods, they’re not like that.”

“Maybe not for you.”

“So you are trapped here?”

You couldn’t understand why he didn’t seem to be getting it. “I’m protected here. This is my safe haven.”

“When was the last time you left? Hell, when was the last time you spoke to anyone other than your witch?”

You weren’t entirely certain, trying to quickly count the number of winters you’d seen while you’d been here. “Years ago, definitely. Probably… six or seven by now, I’d wager.”

His eyes lit up as an opportunity presented itself, his voice shifting into the more practiced one you’d heard before, designed to be convincing. “I could get you out of here. Come on, make a deal with me. Don’t you miss society? Miss talking to people?”

You immediately started the banishing spell, not wanting to have this conversation. You knew you wouldn’t be able to make him drop the issue, your talk was over.

“No, stop it, stop doing that,” he hissed at you. “Shut up!”

You didn’t let his protests deter you, barrelling through the rest of the spell.

Without so much as a warning he vanished, leaving behind empty air and a mug that promptly smashed into the ground with nothing left to hold it up.

You rushed to clean up the mess. The shards of ceramic and tea couldn’t break the summoning circle, that couldn’t be done without intention from someone not trapped in it, but they most certainly could alert Eden to your behavioral misstep.

When Eden got home, you were sweeping the last of the jagged shards into a dustpan.

“What happened?” she asked. “Are you alright?”

You waved away her concern. “I just dropped a mug, nothing to worry about.”

“Nothing important got damaged?”

“Nope.”

“Good. You should be more careful.”

With a final glance at the mess, she took the basket of things she’d gathered from wherever she’d been. She never told you where she went, it was always just ‘out.’

It felt more like a small mercy than anything. You weren’t sure you could stomach hearing about her trips to town. You preferred it this way, she just went out and returned with baskets full of things she’d never tell you about.

Days passed and she didn’t bring up the incident again.

You were out in your garden, the little fenced in piece of nature that you could safely access. It wasn’t very big, a slice of land pressed up against the side of the house, but you spent much of your time out there.

The garden was the only thing you had any real control over. Eden rarely came out here, you kept all the herbs inside well-stocked enough that she never had to.

It was also a rare subject at which you excelled. Your little sliver of land was thriving, keeping every single plant Eden brought for you to take care of alive and well.

You were pruning weeds when you found a little praying mantis sitting under some lavender.

Its hooked arms were raised defensively, clearly positioning to strike if you got any closer.

“You gotta go bud,” you said, keeping your voice low so as not to spook it any further. “You’re gonna eat all the bees and we can’t have that.”

It seemed unconvinced.

He seemed perfectly polite but you didn’t have a pest problem in your garden and you knew from experience it would hunt down any pollinators who came nearby.

“You don’t belong in here, if you don’t leave I’m going to have to evict you and neither of us want that.”

Your attempt at negotiation fell on deaf ears so instead you picked up a watering can, shaking it upside down to make sure it was empty before trying to figure out how best to scoop the aggressive little thing up.

The sound of Eden saying something drifted through the wall of the cabin and your head perked up.

“You’ve escaped this time, but you better not be here when I get back.” You gave your newfound enemy one last look and left him to consider your warning as you brushed the dirt off your clothes so you could head inside and see what Eden wanted.

The second you walked into the room you knew exactly what she’d been saying. That became obvious when you locked eyes with the last person you wanted to see.

As you stared down Lucien, eyes wide, all those repercussions of summoning him alone felt a lot more threatening than they had when the two of you were chatting over tea.

Eden was sitting on the floor looking up at him and you winced, cursing the fact that she wasn’t in a trace that would let you slip out of the room unnoticed.

“Are you even paying attention?” she asked him as he stared right over her head.

He was entirely ignoring Eden’s question, his gaze locked onto you. “I was wondering where you’d run off to, the witch had lost her shadow.”

Eden’s head jerked around and you shrunk in on yourself, her eyes burning into your skin worse than Lucien’s did.

Even with her back to him, he seemed to be able to sense her anger. “What’s wrong,” he prodded. “That’s what you have them do anyways, isn’t it? Quietly observe?”

She muttered the dismissal spell under her breath, forgetting whatever work she’d been up to in favor of glaring daggers at you.

She didn’t even check to see if he was gone before she stood up and started pacing over to you.

For a moment, you weren’t even nervous, caught up in Lucien’s words. He hadn’t given you away or gotten you in trouble, instead inexplicably covering for you. You couldn’t make sense of it, practically wouldn’t believe it if it had just happened.

The lack of nervousness ended the second Eden started talking.

“You cannot come in unannounced like that,” she snapped. “You’re lucky I had things under control. You could have put us both at risk.”

“I’m so sorry.” You weren’t sure your voice reached her, your words coming out as a squeak more than as an intelligible thought.

She seemed to understand the gist of it at the very least.

“You should be!” She rubbed her temples, taking a deep breath as she considered her next words. “I’m just trying to keep you safe. I can’t do that if you don’t listen, you know that.”

“I know, I really am sorry.”

She took your hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “Okay. Don’t let it happen again.”

“I won’t.”

She chuckled. “Well, you saw your first demon. Not ideal circumstances but what did you think?”

“Very scary,” you said, hoping that was what she wanted to hear.

“They certainly are. Unpleasant creatures, through and through.”

You nodded, hoping she couldn’t see the apprehension on your face. If only seeing him was the worst of your transgressions.

#terato #demon x reader #demon x human #monster boyfriend #monster bf #monster x human #monster x reader #demon #the witch's apprentice #sometimes I worry I give my reader characters too much personality lol #I can’t help it sorry guys #take it or leave it #The next chapter things really get going #the setup era is ending #Also the rating on this one will be changing soon ;)

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laughterliberator · 3 months

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Tickle Thoughts Day #1

Had this series going on my last blog, so I figured I’d start it here. This could be a controversial topic, but here goes.

(TW: discussion of the fetish/kinky side of tickling. Not NSFW, but wanted to warn any hard SFW readers just in case)

So…. I have a tickle fetish. Does that mean I have to engage in hookup culture?

I’ve discovered a different side of the tickle community in the last few weeks. I’ve always been on the kink-heavy half, the side where people are very obvious about their sexual enjoyment of our little hobby. And yes, I’m one of them: I do get turned on by tickling. Always have, always will.

Since I got started in the community, I’ve been led to believe that’s all the tickling community could be: a horny group of “friends” that also frequently try to satisfy one another sexually. Being raised the way I was, I had to suppress a lot of discomfort about this lifestyle. I did it well, too: I found enjoyment, satisfaction, and even a certain level of community. I even saw a few strong romantic relationships in my friend group.

But I never found true, unconditional relationships. Everyone was trying to get a piece of me, or me a piece of them, and it led to fights, high emotions, and hurt feelings often. I frequently left servers, sites, and people when I got burnt out from the pressure. That’s where the end of 2023 found me.

Fastforward to 2024

I rejoin Tumblr after a hiatus, and accidentally stumble upon the other side: people who love tickling as innocent, unburdened fun. Not describing it as a “fetish,” but still using the same terminologies of Lee, Ler, etc. Less-to-no bondage, sensory play or stimulation (though that varies from person to person).

Suddenly I’m having genuine conversations that aren’t motivated to move right into tickling, though it’s certainly involved. Suddenly I feel slightly less used, slightly less like a commodity. Suddenly, I understand the idea of having truly trusting interpersonal relationships that weren’t trying to constantly get in my tickle pants.

The problem? The fetish-ness of tickling is still ingrained in my identity. It’s not wrong to exclude, but the complete extrication of that aspect of my tickle talk gave me culture shock. I’m riding a fence here: loving the genuineness that comes from pursuing the innocence of tickling, but not wanting to deny that with a committed partner, I hope to engage in this as a fetish.

So, which side is right? Who’s in the wrong?

Neither. Not really. The problem isn’t whether you view tickling as a turn-on or spotless fun, the real issue (in my opinion) is hookup culture. It saps the genuineness from people, it adds manipulation and end goals, and it reduces your tickle status to “tickle skill,” “experience,” and “session #”.

(Side note: from here on out, I’m done asking people “How many sessions have you had?” For me, there are too many similarities between that and “body count.”)

The tickling community isn’t entirely broken; only some parts. Hookups aren’t the issue, hookup culture is. The idea that you need “experience” rather than connection, “clout” instead of character, and “play partners” with no commitment. It’s seeped into our tickle community, and it’s time we root it out.

In conclusion: I know there are other people on this fence with me. Let’s build some houses up here.

(DISCLAIMER: It’s not my intention to disparage any polyamorous dynamics, aromantic individuals, people who don’t enjoy sex, or anyone who seeks out romantic connection by means of tickle sessions. This criticism is merely of the non-committal expectations imbued into our tickle culture today. Let’s please have understanding and reasonable discussions in the comments.)

#tickle thoughts #tword community #tickle ideas #tickle session

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soullessjack · 1 month

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so im on s5 of miraculous and i keep thinking about cat noirs whole “kept at a distance” arc bc it’s genuinely really interesting but gets so wasted by always winding up with him basically validating ladybugs nonsensical decisions and treatment—the same treatment that we were already shown upset him enough to destroy public properly about it. the most consistent reason LB ever gives cat about why he can’t be fully trusted or relied on is that he’s too much of a liability for their partnership to work—either because he’s too reckless, too in love with her, or his cataclysm would be too dangerous to use.

whatever it is, the baseline is that she thinks he’s a liability, and obviously that’s like salt in the wound for cat since he genuinely loves her and enjoys being partners with her, but it’s also just sad to see him continue to respect her decision and act like it isn’t a problem for him when he’s literally upset enough to physically lash out and use his powers to do so. and I know a lot of it can probably be explained by ladybug’s experience in the cat blanc timeline, but 1) she starts holding him at a distance way before that even happens, 2) she’s actively making it worse by not telling cat noir about cat blanc and why she thinks she has to exclude him for his own safety, and 3) SHE SHOULD HAVE TOLD HIM ABOUT CAT BLANC TO BEGIN WITH BECAUSE IT’S LITERALLY A WORLD ENDING SITUATION INVOLVING HIM DIRECTLY‼️‼️‼️‼️

instead she just allows him think he’s unwanted and unnecessary, calls the shots on how he should feel about “having more free time” and ironically makes him even more susceptible to being Akumatized because of it. ladybug might not be aware that cat is adrien and has a terrible home life he actively uses his miraculous to escape from, but she’s playing right into all the key aspects that adrien resents from his father; she decides what he wants without considering or asking him, she trusts him conditionally and still distances herself enough for him to just not know certain things. it’s done with good intentions, but it still clearly affects adrien very poorly, and it’s just such a frustrating glass-chewing miscommunication that only needlessly complicates the situation

don’t even get me started on Kuro Neko where ladybug falls head over heels for the changed version of her partner and narrowly avoiding her having to actually screw up and learn a lesson about accepting cat for who he actually is because catwalker is just “too perfect” for her to function—instead of being an obedient idealized version of her best friend who lets her be in control of everything (WHEN ADRIEN LITERALLY USES HIS DOUBLE LIFE TO HAVE THE CONTROL HE DOESN’T GET AT HOME).

theres so much potential for the base concept of the miraculous of destruction and its Kwami/holder being distrusted outliers among the rest of the Kwami/holders, but the magic system sucks and it kind of loses any chance when the other Kwamis are established to be catastrophic if they use their powers without a holder. and it gets even more confusing if you consider that Fu specifically chose adrien to hold that miraculous, but then encourages Marinette to keep her distance from him and barely acknowledges him as a hero in general. Like why did you even bother testing adrien for his worthiness or whatever if you obviously don’t think he’s worthy of knowing anything about you or the rest of the miraculous OR his best friend’s identity??? but you’re totally okay with her just giving them out to anyone in Paris who’s conveniently around and having her know their identity???? master fu when I catch you master fu

auugghhhfgg I don’t know the magic system thing could be its own separate post but likeeeeee I just think the miraculous of destruction whos constantly mistrusted for no reason and goes Kamehameha Krazy in another timeline is very special and could be treated so much better if the writers were good at their job and didn’t make every character’s sole purpose be validating ladybug/marinette even when she’s in the wrong

#honestly he deserves to be a villain #at the very least an antihero. gotta push my antihero propaganda into everything I enjoy #like the same way Luka got Akumatized over his frustration with people keeping secrets #that should 100% happen to cat noir im so deadass #because like imagine if you found out your best friend saw an alternate timeline where you lost control and destroyed the city #and spent months completely isolated by what you did and slowly goinf crazy with grief and guilt and just wanting to fix it all #and she just doesnt tell you about it but she clearly sees you differently than she used to because of it #that is literally such juicy material for him to get Akumatized and yet.#Thomas Astruc you and I are public enemies now #cal.txt #miraculous ladybug #cat noir #adrien agreste #cat blanc #ladybug and chat noir #marinette dupain cheng #master fu #I need to fix this show I need to or I will also blow up Paris #I LOVE BEING AUTISTIC 🗣️🗣️‼️‼️

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theheraldsrest · 7 months

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how do you think the companions would react to a mute or deaf inquisitor? like one who communicates through sign language?

“Companions react to Mute/Deaf Inquisitor”

I try to do my research for the most part when I do these posts. So if I do get something wrong, please let me know! I enjoy getting the chance to understand topics further and getting to hear from you guys! And thank you anon!

-Lord Lex

Cullen

-One of the many who struggle with communication and now he’s learning that you can communicate through your hands. He’s a little worried about you being on the battlefield but he’ll try not to mother you. He knows the others have your back and, hey, you’ve been fighting before you were even part of the Inquisition so that reassures him. He struggles to learn sign-language but instead, if the Inquisitor is deaf, will communicate through simply passing along some paper. Same with if deaf but he’ll mostly speak to you and rely on a written response.

Josephine

-Josey is an ambassador for the Inquisition, of course she’s going to know a few languages. If she doesn’t, she usually tries to learn them as soon as possible. Like Cullen, she’ll be worried about you when in the field, but outside of it she finds no problems. She’ll go with you wherever when in Haven/Skyhold, translating for people or for you. Anyone who tries to disresepct you behind your back will get a stern talking to.

Leliana

-She always did say the best spy was one who didn’t speak. Maybe not so surprisingly she knows several forms of sign language for different languages and will make sure on which ones to use for you. If a message needs to be said, she’ll say it for you. Though, sometimes, she’ll watch as people make fools of themselves either by talking rudely to you when your deaf or asking why you aren’t responding when mute. Proceeds to introduce you as the Inquisitor and that you’re deaf/mute.

Vivienne

-Not so surprised. Is actually another one who stays by your side, either translating or shutting down anyone who so happens to make a comment about you. Tries to stay where you can see her, either her hands or mouth being visible for you. Sometimes when translating for you, she’ll add in her own comment but makes sure people know that it’s her opinion and not yours. “The Inquisitor bids you welcome. I, on the other hand, hope your stay is very short.”

Varric

-Varric finds it pretty interesting, having met a few people in his travels who couldn’t speak or hear. Wasn’t able to pick up on sign language but he won’t try to exclude you because he doesn’t know what you’re saying. He’ll try any methods of talking with you or getting to know what you’re saying, including through drawings. He’s not the best artist but you both find it such a goofy way of communicating. Makes many people question how ya’ll even know what either of you are saying, especially when you’re both nodding sagely over a drawing of a nug with a crown.

Cole

-He knows you’re speaking, but the words aren’t coming out. Right for you, but not right for others. Cole is very confused on why no one else can hear you until he realises they can’t hear the ghost of your words. Don’t rely too much on him to translate, we all know his speech patterns. Especially when he does translate for you, he’ll either say everything on your mind or too little of what you want to say. But it is pretty funny when he tries to do a voice for you. Most specificly when you’re trying to act intimidating and he just makes his voice rough and tough. He’s trying his best.

Solas

-He finds no problem with it. Might find it slightly difficult when trying to translate certain elven words, especially if the Inquisitor doesn’t know elven. but that won’t stop him. Solas will try to find a way to describe it or use appropriate wording to get his point across or to explain certain words. He’s very patient with you and will even ask you to teach him a few signs so that it’s easier for you. Even tries to keep an eye on your hands if you’re mute so that he can see when you wish to speak.

Cassandra

-The one who gets frustrated the most over it. She’s trying, she really is. She does know some sign language, but only some. She’ll get words wrong or mistranslate sometimes. But even worse when she forgets because she’ll go on long tangents or going over plans and will look at you for input and it just hits her. Has to get you paper and a quill to write out responses or even she’ll write out her whole thing. Cass isn’t frustrated with you, she’s frustrated with trying to remember these things as well as sign language.

The Iron Bull

-He knows a few words and phrases but he also teaches you a few of his own. He works around it, makes sure you know it’s not a hinderance. Pretty impressed with how you power through, becoming a leader and, because of you, most of Skyhold actually knows a bit of sign-language. Unlike the others, though, if someone asks what you’re saying, he’s going to tell them either to guess or that it’s time for them to learn a new language. Bull’s only messing with people but if you ask him to stop he will. (Fun fact: Krem taught him sign language. Krem was a little excited to speak with you when he saw you using it.) Speaking of Krem, you know how he sits to Bull’s blind side? Bull will do the same for you except being your ears if deaf or being your voice if mute.

Dorian

-Genuinely one of the most curious of your group. Dorian’ll sit down with you for hours just to learn, eventually being able to have conversations with you in more easier terms. He’ll still talk (a lot) but now it’s accompanied by him moving his hands, either to help you or to just practice. He also enjoys how private it can be, not having to worry about listening ears or unwanted company. He tries to help as much as you’ll let him, either deaf or mute and will interpret when needed. Also uses it to shit talk but only around you or those in your group. Josephine cuaght him once and gave him a talking because one of the nobles actually knew sign language.

Sera

-It’s not her type of sign language. Which is either signs like moving forward or a certain finger. More frustrated than Cassandra sometimes but also has fun with it. Might be irritating with certain people as she tries to guess what you’re saying, going through charades to get your point across or even hers. She’s even tried to create her own and teach it to you. Most of the time it’s just words that already exist but smashed together like shitbiscuit. She’ll try testing things with you, like if your senses are heightened due to one of them being gone. Specificlly by throwing apples at you. Might want to work on your reflexes.

Blackwall

-He’s trying, I promise. He’s able to guess but it does little when you’re trying to get whole phrases or sentences out. It’ll take Blackwall a second to remember what that certain hand movement means but he’ll get there. Same as Bull where he’ll act as your ears but not your voice. Does not want to be responsible for that or equivalate his voice as yours. His main answer is “You give the orders, I follow them.” Sometimes will just walk up to you saying he’s got this and then try to sign to you and ask if he did it correctly. It’s a 50/50 chance he did.

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pharaohbean · 1 month

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Please talk more about how Touya's writing has been neglected. I Need to hear your thoughts this is Urgent

anon you sent me this last night and it's been like 12 hours and I've done nothing except write this for like. 5 hours. there's so much I haven't done and I'm running tech for Good Friday tonight. I went and finally watched Toya4 just to hone my points (actually it broke quite a few but wHATEVER) and reread SO MUCH and finally. after writing an ENTIRE ESSAY. i think i can answer your ask.

so, dear anon, may i present to you: Aoyagi Toya and his relationships in the form of Kizuna Ranks (roughly): his lack of them, the neglection of ones he does have, and why The first concerto redeemed Nocturne Interlude and Toya's Colofes story.

Let's start off with a simple Kizuna Rank counting: Toya has 14 kizunas: 6 VS, 3 VBS & WxS, 1 L/n & 25ji, and 0 MMJ (as of time of writing this). While that’s technically on the high end (he’s beating half of l/n, 3/4ths of wxs and 3/4ths of 25ji) the problem is where most of his kizunas lie: he has full VS (the first of his group, actually), full VBS, and almost-full WxS (it SHOULD be full); that accounts for 12 out of the 14 he has. He has so little diversity outside of those three groups, which compared to Mizuki (who has the same amount of kizunas as him) who has 4 VS, 2 MMJ, 3 VBS, 2 WxS, and the obvious 3 25ji, isn’t a lot!

Toya’s only two “unique” kizunas are Saki and Mizuki; Saki, who he’s known since childhood and has a lot of respect for her and even more so her brother, and Mizuki, who they got the kizuna with I think through a combination of KAMIYAMA HIGH FES and Summer Festival. The problem isn’t that Toya has so few kizunas (he doesn’t, really, I counted) it’s that his kizunas are almost indicative of his friendships.

Fun fact: Toya has not had a new kizuna in over a year. His last kizuna on JP was October 2022. Over a year.

(Just as a side note, I’m not going to be talking about his lack of appearances OVERALL. Around this time last year, his VA started voicing Dan Heng in HSR, and considering that that man is in like… 6 Trailblazer Missions, I would assume with scheduling that he wasn’t really able to voice anything else for a while. We’re talking about that when he was on outside of group focuses, he never really talked with anyone outside of those he already knew. But Dan Heng has also been put to the wayside after 1.3, which was in August, so after that I’m not cutting Toya slack.)

I went through his cards after Never Give Up Cooking! to present day because cards are usually indicative of a presence in an event, and outside of group focuses, he has…. 2 (excluding Sanrio which I'm 99% sure he didn’t talk with anyone outside of his group). Yup, just two! The first one is… the Kamiyama Fine Arts Festival. Where he knows everyone in Kamiyama (day classes) and has a kizuna with them. Just great. The other event is Valentines3, where he meets with a bunch of new people, but I’ll get back to them. Let’s talk about L/n, 25ji, and their relationships with Toya.

Toya has one from both of them, as mentioned previously: Saki and Mizuki. But Toya (as far as I know) has basically never met the other members of their groups. Sure, his teammates have (Kohane attends Miya with L/n and was classmates with Shiho, and Akito is siblings with Ena and has met Mafuyu more than once, even in his own home) but Toya has not. And do you want to know something truly terrible? He could!

He’s childhood best friends with Saki! He��s classmates with Mizuki now! There are so many possibilities for Toya to meet them! Personally, I want an Ichisakitoyakana event where Toya learns to songwrite a little more from Ichika and Kanade (especially considering his newest focus where he accidentally[?] works himself to the bone to compose a single song). That wouldn’t be hard considering that he has an in with both L/n (through Saki) and 25ji (through both Mizuki and partially Ena, whom he can get to through Akito)!

But for reasons beyond my understanding, they just. Haven’t. Have they been waiting for Toya4? Maybe, and that’s valid. But that doesn’t mean that he couldn’t have spoken with them earlier anyways, especially considering that he’s been grueling over composing for what seems to be months. Also, it’s Saki, why wouldn’t she introduce her cool younger brother to Ichika, who is also a songwriter? Heck if I know!

But I digress. Let’s talk Valentines3, where Toya talks with Ena and Haruka quite a bit. Ena and Toya have known each other since… like, forever. Roughly 3 years, if we assume that Ena found out about Toya around the time Akito partnered up with him. While they don’t talk a lot, they’ve definitely had multiple chances to: Summer Festival, 2nd Anniversary, maybe 2nd New Years but admittedly I didn’t read that story so who knows. But their first shared card set is… Valentines3.

Both Toya and Ena have a solid connection with Akito, Toya consistently hands off plushies to Ena, and yet the two just… never talk. You’d think they would! But they just… haven’t? And I don’t know if that’s bad writing or just something? But Valentines3 is their first big interaction, which is three years since the game started.

Now, let’s talk Haruka. Compared to his teammates, Toya has a very isolated kizuna community (as a side note, Saki and Nene are the only kizunas that he doesn’t share with someone else in his group excluding VS), and it’s obvious if you look at his lack of MMJ kizunas. But everyone in his group has a direct connection to someone in MMJ: Kohane was first-year classmates with Minori, An is childhood friends with Haruka, and Akito and Airi at the very least know each other well. At ANY point, MMJ could’ve been introduced to Toya--and let’s face it, they probably were. Toya I’m sure has heard about them.

…But why has he never talked with them? Again, wouldn’t have been hard (although he’d have less of a reason to than he would’ve with someone like Ichika, Kanade, and Ena) but he just hasn’t? And I remember correctly he does know who Haruka is in Val3. I’m not sure if that’s the writers just straight up ignoring him for a while (which they totally did) or that’s Toya’s personality, but I really don’t think it’s the latter with how well Toya just. Takes new people.

One other person I’ll talk specifically about is Mafuyu. There’s not a super clear connection for Toya and Mafuyu to interact, but they’ve definitely met in passing. I love Toya and Mafuyu’s parallels (especially with their fourth rotations being huge for them) and wish they’d properly interact, but Colopale won’t let them because that would screw over Mafuyu’s progress entirely. In a good way. Mafuyu would realize so much. But you wanna read more about them and their parents, there’s this amazing post about it that I think does it well.

Now, let’s talk about the relationships Toya does have. I’m just going to briefly gloss over most of them, then talk about the ones with a little more influence in Toya’s life (which is basically just VBS and Tsukasa).

Let’s start with VS: Miku and Luka are the two who really click with Toya the best. Miku is the one who went with Toya to his Fragment SEKAI (which we’ll be touching upon later) and inherited his terrible cooking. VBS Miku, although not a large force at play in recent stories, is still a valuable voice of reason. Luka literally showed up during Toya’s event, got him to do stuff he’d never do, and is just generally his hype man. She’s great.

Now, let’s talk the twins. Rin I feel like, when with the boys (who is all I really read, sorry girls), doesn’t have much of a character aside from being Len’s fellow corgi sticking her head into boxes ‘n such (cookie if you get this). Len, however, can be mostly found with the boys, trailing after them like a younger brother… well, he trails after Akito. He doesn’t really trail after Toya, and Len more so sticks around with Akito a lot (learning soccer, was in Summer Fes with them, etc.). So ironically, I would say Len and Toya don’t have a strong connection, at least compared to Len and Akito.

Finally, let’s talk the adults(?). MEIKO, for the most part, has kept her nose out of music, but she’s been there since the start. She and Miku both play the VS in Toya1, and she, Miku, and KAITO are typically the ones to get Toya’s head back on straight. Most recently, MEIKO helped Toya pretty significantly in The first concerto (which we’ll also be discussing later).

Now, the rest: I thought about this for a while, but although Toya and Saki are close, I don’t think there’s any actual record of Toya going to visit Saki in the hospital, either with the Tenmas or his own family? So although they’re close, they’re definitely not as close as Toya and Tsukasa or Toya and Akito. But correct me if I’m wrong.

Toya and Mizuki are more recently classmates, and although they seem to have had something during Kamiyama Fine Arts Fes, I’m not sure what that is. But the two of them have had something for a little while, but it’s been pretty loose.

Toya and Nene are both gaming buddies, and actually get along pretty well. Toya and Rui also get along pretty well, Rui even going out of his way to taste test for Toya (although he definitely didn’t realize how. Terrible Toya’s cooking skills are) and help him repay the Tenmas.

Finally, let’s talk a little more about Toya’s deepest (and shallowest) relationships: VBS, Tsukasa, and his father---in backwards order because I’m like this.

Toya and his father have had a pretty shaky relationship, one that is always perpetually a few steps away from being entirely burned. But it’s a relationship that both are interested in keeping alive, but feel that they can’t, primarily because of their different beliefs in music. Again, I highly recommend you go read the relationship between Harumichi and Mafumom I linked above to get a better understanding of both people, but most recently, Toya’s father does go somewhat out of his way to give Toya some advice in The first concerto. Although some people believe it doesn’t make up for the child abuse, I feel like I strongly need to say something:

Toya explicitly continued classical for TWELVE YEARS.

That kid picked the piano up at 3! 12 years he played! He was 15 when he ran away! Teenagers get moody about this stuff! And I would know, because I had the exact same relationship with my parents about religion at his age. I’m not going to get into depth about my own personal life, but I’m not gonna call handling someone harshly after they themselves treat themselves the same way as child abuse. Is there child abuse? Oh probably definitely, Toya should’ve gotten more hugs as a kid. But Toya (explicitly in The first concerto flashbacks) pushes himself to be better at classical. There’s a whole bunch of other stuff here which I can talk about in another post (including Toya fixating only on the bad parts of his past, which is something I also do) but let’s leave it here for now.

Now, let’s talk about Tsukasa. If none of you are aware, Tsukasa is the one who gives Toya the push to quit classical music (from the PJSK fandom wiki in Toya’s relationships page: “it was Tsukasa who told him it was okay to do the things he wanted, even if others disapproved. This gave Toya the courage to quit classical music, and he says if it weren't for Tsukasa, he wouldn't be the person he is today”). Toya holds Tsukasa in high regard, even just as high as Akito (he defends Tsukasa from Akito on multiple occasions) even if he won’t let go of the “-senpai” honorific. Toya has gone out of his way multiple times to support Tsukasa in some way (taking his spot during Wedding1 when Tsukasa gets sick, taking a 2hr train ride just to see his performance as Thorpe at the end of Tsukasa2, learning how to cook just to repay the Tenmas in Never Give Up Cooking!) while also never asking for anything in return, and will probably continue to do so because he just holds Tsukasa in such high regard. It’s about the same regard that Toya holds Akito in, but Toya repays that by standing by Akito’s side and singing with him because that’s all Akito asks for.

Then, the Vivids. Despite being teammates, Toya doesn’t have much of a relationship with them (especially compared to Akito, who’s got a distinct one with both of them). Toya and An both respect each other, but the only mixed events they have cards together for are Wedding1 (where An really only shows up at the end) and Kami Fine Arts Fes, which I haven’t read so I can’t speak on that. Toya and Kohane have a 1-on-1 moment in An1 and… not again until Valentines3. Three years after An1. THREE YEARS!!! Toya’s relationship with the girls I feel has been especially neglected, but also partially for a good reason: in An1, both Akito and Toya let the girls talk themselves through. Sure, Akito gives An a harsh talking-to, and Toya gives Kohane some advice, but the two of them keep their noses out of the girls’ business. And the two of them do take a while to get on their own two feet (which I won’t go into depth about here, but maybe in another post).

But also, you’re teammates. I’m willing to overlook shallow relationship writing with people like Saki, Nene, Rui, and Mizuki because they’re not super close, but An and Kohane? That’s just straight up ignoring their relationships. There are so many opportunities for this sort of thing--which the writers definitely capitalized on in the beginning--but nowadays most of the cast goes to the VS for help. Which isn’t bad, it just means you’re developing relationships with other people. But having an arguably stronger connection with the VS than your own teammates? Really? You could put in a little more effort, writers.

Finally, let’s talk about Akito and Toya. Let me preface this by saying I’m biased and weak for partnerships, but I’ll try to do my best. Akito and Toya’s relationship is one of the few relationships we see prior to canon that isn’t a sibling relationship or having broken down; the only ones who are standing are the entirety of 25ji and maybe Rui and Nene (L/n broke off prior to canon, and Airi and Shizuku, although knowing one another, seem to have had most of their relationship deteriorate by the start of canon). But unlike the other two, Akito and Toya’s pre-canon relationship isn’t really discussed. All we really know is that they joined up not long after meeting (I think it’s implied it was in the same meeting) and are so close to one another by the start of canon that they trust each other to an insane degree. That’s not to say they haven’t had their fights (they have) but the big thing is that Akito and Toya’s RELATIONSHIP isn’t toxic. Both of them have their own personal issues (self-worth for Akito, guilt/burden for Toya) that they do often hide from each other, but as soon as the other notices, it doesn’t take them much to open up. I think the only time Toya didn’t tell Akito what was on his mind was that one time in his Toya1 card story where he refused to tell Akito that he was the best partner---and let’s be real, that’s Toya being cheeky and cheesy because he can; Toya’s not that open with many people (the only others excluding VS I’d say would be An, Kohane, Tsukasa, and Saki).

I will add, the writers do like to place quite a lot of emphasis on their relationship and bond, but it’s not bad yet or anything, especially with the current direction VBS is taking making it that there’s not much of a position for that to happen outside of mixed events. But again, I’m a sucker for that sort of thing, so.

To close out, let’s talk about a couple of things I said I’d talk about, and why The first concerto fixed so much. So let’s simultaneously talk about Toya1, Toya’s Colofes story, and the redemption that is The first concerto.

For me, Toya1 felt a little weird (rereading it for this post, you’re welcome) because knowing what little I did of The first concerto (which was nothing) at the time, I was confused because in Toya1 he moved past his classical burden, didn’t he? And also, you wanna talk Colofes? They dropped a huge character detail and L E F T. FOR TWO YEARS! But finally, when I actually watched The first concerto (like, earlier today) I had so many thoughts, but eventually decided on the following things:

Toya1 was Toya getting over his classical burden for singing, while The first concerto was dealing with his burden for composing. And as for his Colofes story… Toya is cut off in his words when the Fragment SEKAI disappears. Considering that, and what Toya says in chapters 6 and 7 (referencing his Colofes), I think that despite what Miku said about forgiving himself, Toya didn’t. As we also learn in The first concerto, Toya has a very hard time not fixating on the bad events of his life and instead focusing on the good, especially after quitting classical. Sure, he can think of the good like being with the Tenmas, but that was always tainted with the rest of his history.

The first concerto just. Redeems so much that was left to the side in Toya’s progression, and in a good way. Toya already removed the shackles from his wrists and ankles back in Toya1, but left them to the wayside. Now, here, he’s picked them back up and is slowly, surely, turning them into keys to unlock the door to the future. The event gives Toya the courage and ability to finally forgive himself for his past (something he didn’t do back during his Colofes, which is roughly just after Kohane2) and use it to move forward.

(Also, if you’re wondering why I, a Toya kinnie, was reading it so late, shameless plug to my 4k Toya-centric fic roots in the snow, where it's explained there.)

Anyways, those are my thoughts. I’m sure I have more which I might add on to later, but I’ve literally just been writing this for like 3 hours straight and I need to vacuum before I leave soon because if I don’t my mom will have my head.

(i hope you were expecting an essay anon LOL)

#zero thoughts #zero asks #project sekai #proseka #pjsk #prsk #toya aoyagi #aoyagi toya #and so many other people i could tag but i wont

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