#if anyone who has read the comic wants to talk to me abt it my dms are always open btw :-]

[seapigeonn]

One funny thing abt form of sympathy was that sunwoo was like ‘I’m repressed and gay in love with my best friend’ and Kwon yuri was like ‘wow I’m in love with my sister’ and the author thematically conflated these two things under the category of ‘forbidden love’ like okay 😭

[a-little-lostmoon]

some LU headshots in my style for personal reference. subject to change bc drawing consistently is a bitch but overall i think i’m happy w them! (ignore the comic/writing idea in the upper right corner it may or may not be made into a full think idk yet—)

typed notes for each lu member + a little extra below cut

wild—

oval eyes

rounder oval ((ish)) face

amber earrings

healed scarring

androgynous

i tried to reference the boys’ canonical character models to individualize their features more. i love botw and totk sm but personally i’m not the hugest fan of the way the characters look for it? even so, i think the rounder sort of eye shape works really well for my wild

his colors specifically i drew to be a bit more sunset kissed/orangeish bc i was referencing a wild photo in which the time was sunset. thats abt it. but i think it’s really pretty on him so i’m probably just keeping that whenever i draw wild

warriors—

cheek bones/jawline

rounder ears

pointy eyes ((eyeliner that could stab a person))

cheek scar bc i felt like it

i stole away some of wars’ side fringes, forgive me i couldn’t decide whether i wanted them to cover up his jawline and chickened out. if anyone actually read the comic thing you’ll see smth abt the old man and wars talking abt how his hair parted to the other side of his face during the war. i made it to ‘vent my frustrations’ bc i drew his hair part referencing HW photos of link instead of LU wars and it’s now become my headcanon.

his hair color is vivid bc HW color pallet is pretty damn vivid and his eyes & earrings are a deeper blue to match his scarf. color coordination!

anw he’s a pretty boy so i made him pretty — that’s pretty much the rest i have to say abt that

time—

tired eyes

longest ears

(slight) rbf

both time & legend have half circle/oval eyes ((kind of. at least that’s what i tried to go for to give them a more worn/serious look))

i’m not the best with differentiating ages. i tried to make him look a bit more worn/oldest but i also wanted all of them to still carry some of that classic pretty boy link look. don’t have much else to say but he has the longest/angular ears bc fairy boy. let’s pretend four’s don’t look longer than his i drew him later and forgot

twilight—

<-takes more features from malon ((who i haven’t drawn yet so you don’t have any reference on that))

pretty boy face (wasn’t intentional but it is what it is)

twilight princess link is v pretty. twilights usually one of the more rugged (for lack of a better term) looking ones bc he’s among the taller ones/apart of the “adult” squad but i accidentally made him very pretty looking. oops. don’t know if that will remain consistent for him if i draw him more so we shall see

him and time share less features than i might’ve wanted? you can see a bit of time’s jaw in the way his face curves but overall they don’t share many features. again, he takes more after malon. but their hair textures are incredibly similar if that means anything

gave him jade studs bc they reminded him of midna and are practical enough that he can just keep them in the whole time (bc he will lose them or forget abt them if he takes them off)

sky—

rounder face

big eyes

lips

big ears

his hair color was a bitch to get right im not sorry i had to say it color is so hard to work with. in any case! skyward sword link has bigger looking eyes cus of the style and i just ran w that. his earrings are magenta to match sun’s dress but look red when the light catches them right (or wrong ig bc they look red in dim light too) just bc i realized his earrings were red to match his outfit/crimson.

sky and the next three (everyone sans wind) probly look the least off their character models

legend—

oval iris

full rbf

multiple piercings ((this is important for u to know))

longer narrow face & features

boy’s a strawberry blond bc i said so. and also legend purple eyes propaganda. i don’t know where exactly that originated but like i love it and im on board. he also has purple stud earrings he always keeps in — curious, isn’t it. he probably has more than i gave him but well, thats all i gave him. it gets the picture across. hc that legend realized he couldn’t get more fingers for his rings but he could get more piercings that could handle jewelry that did almost exactly the same thing. practicality!

also i couldn’t decide on legend’s hair length. its all hidden by that hat of his so i just… didn’t draw the back half portion of his hair. does that make my legend bald at the back of his head? you decide.

hyrule—

wide face narrow chin

freckles!!!

bigger earlobes

the earlobes is me projecting /hj but i tried to reference the og link’s face shape for him which idk if i like yet. he has freckles and more accent colors in his hair and eyes which is a subtle thing but a sorta maybe reference to his fairy magic. no piercings for him! i forgot them/didnt see them on og link and can’t really imagine when hyrule would ever get the time to pierce them so he and wind can do that together eventually to bond. legend will do it probly — he obviously has the experience and wild can’t be trusted (offered to pierce winds ears with a knife canonically)

wind—

big eyes

void eyes

big ears but rounder than skys

soft face

fluffy hair

wind’s 100 yard stare *does* things to the chain but none of them tell him that because he’d definitely use it to freak people out. i couldnt decide between going lighter sun bleached hair wind or bright blinding yellow toon link hair so i kind of meshed them together to create that. tried to make him the youngest looking

four—

symmetrical angles ((and then i drew a polygon quadrilateral bc thats the shape i used as a reference)) for cheeks and eyes

minish feather ((earring))

minish ears & nose

hime bangs

yk the picture of a minish that comes up when googled? thats what i used as a reference for his features. ears specifically, nose somewhat. four’s eyes are usually the greyish hazel color you get from mixing all of their colors together but i liked the split look for this piece more. his hair color is also wind’s but inverted so wind’s lights are four’s highlights and his darks make up the brunt of the base color as a slight reference to how it’s occasionally theorized/hc that wind is four’s descendant.

and the hime bangs were bc i wanted a little more “link side fringe” variation and i thought the sort of straight cut looked nice. hime bangs are not the right term tho bc he parts them to the side and doesn’t have that straight cut on his forehead but i’m too lazy to fight the correct term

— thank u for reading, go hydrate and eat if you have not <3

[comicaurora]

Just a quick question as someone who is well-meaning but just a little confused about the kindle thing:

is it just the filesize of the pages that's the problem w/ downloading? I'm not sure what the difference between dl-ing up front or while reading would be from a hosting perspective. (unless ppl are actually wanting every page at once instead of like a few chapters' worth)

Sorry if all this is annoying, I'm just trying to better understand the problem. I don't mean to bother, so if it's not something you want to talk abt, then that's completely fair.

I guess the thing I keep snagging on is that it's not at all what I intended for the comic and it's not what the site is optimized for. My site follows an extremely normal webcomic format, the tumblr mirror has multiple pages in each post if people need improved loadtimes, and I'm getting kind of thrown that people are suddenly asking for it to be in a completely different offline format? A webcomic has "web" right in the name. It doesn't work that way, it hasn't worked that way the entire time the comic has existed, and frankly, while the intent was definitely not malicious, being asked "hey I'm having a lot of trouble pirating your work, you should make it easier for me" feels Weird And Bad for reasons I would assume are self-evident.

From my side of things, I'm hoping to get Aurora physically published in the future, and physical publication these days usually also goes hand in hand with an ebook release. Publishers already need convincing why they should physically publish something that exists for free online. If I jerry-rigged a downloadable ebook version myself, why would a publisher go to the effort to do it for me? It'd be like self-publishing the book first and then asking them to pay to do it all over again. I would very much like to not fuck up the publishing thing and that means I'm not touching anything a publisher would want to do.

Aurora is entirely free. It has no affiliated patreon, and after a brief run and some laughably poor policy management from google's ad plugin, the site no longer has any ads. I'm not saying this to guilt anyone - just to contextualize why, after finally completing the work of four and a half years of my life that I shared 100% freely with the world for the sheer love of creation and the profound joy it gave me to see people fall in love with this story I care so deeply about, why it sucks that people immediately, not even 24 hours after the final page of arc 1 goes up, start complaining that it doesn't exist in a nice little bundle on all platforms on and offline.

I promise it's not a big deal, but it's not a pleasant experience either.

[int3rn3tb0y]

I hav FINALLY thought abt it and talked abt it w/ ppl and THEY AGREE W/ MEEEE!!! ^_^ (this'll be kinda rushed since I'm in the middle of smth and trying to multitask and my spelling is super shitty)

IM GONNA GET FACE FIRST INTO THIS AND JUS SAY THAT THE INFANTILATION IN THE GHOST EYES FANDOM IS A PROBLEM!! All I get when I ppl talking abt it I jus see "Stop calling Rudy" this and "Tobias isn't a cinnamon roll" which is 100% true and maybe it's me being a full on hater when it comes to calling ANYONE that but it actually is very annoying. I see so many ppl calling Rudy (I'll mostly be talking abt Rudy here only bcuz he's the one I see these statements most targeted at) a cinnamon roll and it infuriates me bcuz DID WE READ THE SAME FUCKING COMIC?? BCUZ IF YOU'RE ACTING LIKE THIS I SURE AS HELL KNOW WE DIDN'T! Rudy has shown on multiple accounts he isn't very innocent like (I don't hav many examples but I know for a fact there's more) his movies and the fact he hunts! Though the hunting thing isn't big I jus wanted to mention it. Also ppl calling him a femboy is annoying bcuz theres a HUGE difference between a "femboy" and a boy who jus happens to like dressing in feminine clothes (also the small fact femboy is a sexual term imo and Rudy IS A MINOR) Rudy is more than jus a bean and I need ppl to notice that. I don't see ppl talking abt this topic I'm gonna bring up often but I'd like to put it into to light either way which is ppl in the fandom mostly caring abt the "bl" (aka Boys lov for those who don't know) title and I most prominently saw this on the forest scene w/ ppl constantly talking abt them shipping Tobias and Emilio but not the fact that Emilio CLEARLY ASSAULTED TOBIAS and I only remember seeing ONE person talking abt it and how "kinky" it is (especially in the Halloween arc where Emilio has an episode) which is WEIRD bcuz jus like Rudy EMILIO IS A MINOR AND THAT IS WEIRD TO BE TALKING ABT A MINOR IN THAT WAY and when I found out abt ghost eyes I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WAS GONNA BE GAY PPL (I don't see a problem w/ it since I, myself is in the lgbtq+ community) I FOUND GHOST EYES OUT THROUGH A PERSON MAKING EDITS ABT THE COMIC I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THE "BL" IN THE CORNER OF THE COVER! anyways I dunno how to finish this rant off since that's all I want to say other than ppl are very annoying (and weird) especially towards "cute" looking characters (not to say the characters I went over aren't cute bcuz I find them adorable) anyways bye!!!

[commander-spaceboy]

IM RLLY INTERESTED IN UR YONJI AU I HAVE AFEW DIFFERENT QUESTIONSSSSSS

Whats up with Yonjis writing? To my understanding he's writing a book on islands? What's the reason behind that? :o

Was there any specific reasoning behind the design you went with for him? I'm a nerd for character design so I'm RLLY curious abt the design it's super cute!!

Will you be writing any fanfiction of this AU or is it just tiny comics and art?

Yessss id love to answer them for u!!

1 whats up with his writing?

So during the og whole cake when the charlotte’s bring germa down to the book prison Yonji is seen in the background opening up books and ‘oo’ and ‘aw’-ing at all the animals and things in them and I thought it was really cute! In my heart hes totally a nerd and loves learning even if he is seen as a jock most of the time

So when I started thinking about what role i wanted him to play and what sort of hobby i wanted to give him that came to mind first! He wants to make a book, or series of books that talk about every island and all the animals and wildlife you would encounter on them!

2 was there a specific reason for the design?

Sort of? There are parts that had reason, and parts that i just thought looked cool

I pretty much always draw Yonji with headphones, part of it is just that i think he listens to music a lot, but some of it is that it blocks out a lot of extra noises so he doesnt get overwhelmed.

The neck scarf is the same one from when hes little and he takes it with when he leaves home for the first time sort of as a reminder, and after he meets up with Sanji again he takes it off, but still keeps it with him, he might tie it onto one of his belt loops on days where it is especially hard for him but for the most part it stays put away.

Its a little bit more prominent in more recent art but i draw the roots of his hair a little more yellow than the ends for obv reasons smthn smthn when the genes arent effecting him as much his hair starts to go a bit more blonde

N i think thats all that had some sort of reason behind it lol the rest was just cause i though it was silly

3 will i be writing a fanfic? Or is it just little comic pages?

I dont personally plan on writing a fanfic for this simply cause im not very good at writing haha! Im better at just drawing out my thoughts, but anyone who wants to write it into a fic has total permission just send it to me if you do cause id love to read it!!

Ive had a few people mention that they are working on writing some stuff so keep an eye out on ao3 and I’ll definitely share them here if I receive a link!!

[reinedeslys-central]

tbh I keep seeing the takes of ppl (and ballister) about ambrosius thinking he would kill the queen but not play freestyle jazz - and it totally makes sense and all with all the context -

BUT. I just wanna point out.

the look of indecision and shock/surprise on his face every time he sees bal after the incident, and even during the incident? the split second where he considers the other knights about to turn on him for knowing his partner best and steps up to lead the search saying 'before anyone gets hurt'? like say all you will (and I agree), but that scene to me reads exactly like someone trying to get to their lover first and protect them and prove their innocence before others can convict them sans trial (looking at you wangxian) OR, also, the realisation that you have to play it safe because the community has found out your lover is queer and the pitchforks are high, but you've always been the golden child / carrying a legacy, and you make the instinctive decision to stay safe for a multitude of reasons (after all, you can't shelter them by losing your rep too, can you? or so you think. same thing in the 'prom' teen-movie btw which is a whole thing to unpack on another day but this same theme is there!).

the first time he looks like he's against bal is after the director proclaims him leader of the search - and compared to his expressions all before then, it feels so much like a mask (mask-esque. not fake, just.. if you get what I mean? I don't really have the words this is just a brain vomit anyway, insert long discussion abt masks and conflicting emotions here ig) and it cracks immediately when he sees him breaking out of jail with nimona in the hallway. and honestly I'm down to give him a little slack after that because, comedically, he totally walked in RIGHT after ballister talked about murdering everyone, and then our boi didn't even manage to blurt out that he was innocent they just got caught up angstily staring at each other. which. :)

even in all the scenes that come after - yeah, definitely can see the totally-thought-he-was-the-killer-ambrosius-why-are-you-like-this angle. and i agree. bad moves all around, dude. but! my man lowering his crossbow in the market? I don't know about you but that doesn't look like a someone who's only holding back because he loves the target. that's a guy that looks unsure about the process the whole way through the scene. (bit of a stretch I know) and the thing that ties it together is the conversation with the director in the car. when he talks about feeling unsure of his legacy? the moment with the crowd and autograph? feeling like a traitor to his personal beliefs and the institution he was raised for? the hope, trying to discreetly make it to the car? it's all there, man. he's isolated from the only person that thinks differently, still outwardly pretending he's 100% with the institute's actions and lashing out with the things that still make sense and overlap with both mindsets.

yeah, ambrosius definitely messed up (ex. 1: arm-chopping as a love language of brainwashing omg pure gold) but? every step makes sense. i'd cut anyone a bit of slack for the doubt and wanting to reconcile their life when everything's turned on its head, especially after hearing bf in question saying he wants to murder everyone ^v^

and also i just. this movie is SO COOL for somehow touching on so many themes so core to so many peoples' experiences. TT y'all please go watch it it's free on yt until feb 26 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4CFWTYFRlw

definitely going to read the comic as soon as I can - I know it's supposed to be way darker, more subtle, with an ambiguous ending but that's it, so excited to see the original spin on this story :))

[bibereangelum]

Scott Summers this Scott Summers that. Has anyone stopped to consider if he was simply held more, he probably wouldn't be as fucked up as he is? Scott grows up thinking he's this dangerous thing right like weapon level. Terrified of hurting anyone else. I'm thinking hard abt this as a child who was also not held enough and the way that impacted my own perception of both self-worth and intimacy (not to vent on main, obvi) But I go back to the time displaced era a lot bc I truly do believe that none of that was for Radical Scott, all of it to me reads like a punishment for the 15 year old that does what he's told regardless of the outcome because that's what he's been trained most of his life to do. I'm thinking so hard about that awkward little high five with older Alex. I'm thinking about when he hugged Laura "you looked like you needed a hug." Thinking about when Laura hugged him when he needed it. Thinking so fucking hard abt Kamala and Scott's hugs. (IGNORING RECENT EVENTS DONT TALK TO ME ABOUT THAT) And idk man. Reading through older comics it's not like Scott actually gets hugged all that often. He's grabbed and yoinked and pulled when necessary but that's kind of it. He's got shelter dog vibes where it's like he doesn't LOOK like he wants to be hugged, but he secretly wants to be hugged and shown affection so badly. There's no way in hell he's gonna admit that though because he's Cyclops. He's the stick in the mud with the 6ft pole wound up his ass. Scott can't be the person who wants to be hugged, he has to be the leader. And bro I don't know man. Something that routinely fucks me up is that Scott falls in love with things and people bigger than he is. He is reaching out and holding and circling back to the intimacy thing... I think about Jean and Scott's psychic rapport way too often. Like oh the horrifying ordeal of being known. But for Scott who probably struggles to put his emotions into understandable words? Shit man. And with Emma this is kind of even more so. Not getting into that can of worms but I do think it's telling that Scott tends to fall in love with people that can get into his head and understand without him having to put himself through the mortifying ordeal of putting his emotions into words. Like idk. Scott rant over. I'm never listening to A House in Nebraska again.

[aesrot]

Feel free to delete this, but I remember you saying that you liked Sonadow (I think that’s the ship name?). Anyway this is your invitation to infodump about them as much as you want. Also if you want to give fanfic recommendations I just might read them <3.

GIGGLES you shouldnt have said this >:3

idek what i could talk abt bc at the same times theres a LOT but also, despite me being mostly caught up game lore wise, i still dont feel like i have a good enough understanding of the characters, i'll probably only feel that when im caught up w the comics. which,,, will take me a good while to get through (just the archie comics are like over 500 issues long lol)

BUT. hmm what could i say that doesnt really require much prior knowledge...

ig, as every ship i ever ship, i see them more as queer platonic, sonic gives me the strongest aroace vibes, so i feel like his love for shadow wouldnt take a much different shape than his love for his other friends. but their connection goes a lil further to me, bc, when it comes to certain stuff, i feel like they're the only ones who can understand each other. and shadow... my dearest little guy... he represses a lot. his life experience wasnt. the best. i dont think he got that many opportunities to explore his own emotions, he probably cant even name a bunch of his emotions, its just easier to lash out, thats smth he's used to. he knows violence, it feels safer, he knows that dance.

and its because sonic has his fair share of violent background (aka, took up the role of a hero since he was way too young) that i feel like he is one of the few who can read shadow much easier than anyone else. hell, sonic himself is kinda knee deep in some repression (in my own understanding of his character). obvs most of this is bc its a franchise that targets kids, they wont get wild w the angst, but my boy sonic be out there fighting all the time and takes on a responsibility that shouldnt be his, the consequences of his actions can be catastrophic sometimes (once again asking everyone to watch sonic prime <3333 so much angst potential, im not normal abt it), and even when things go wrong, he jut smiles and powers through it. just think this for a second. god. imagine the amount of times he pushed himself beyond his limitations for the sake of others, how many times he pretended to be fine....

and yet. despite all that, they are terrible with communicating to each other, so things get physical often (as in fighting, not sexual, which makes it even gayer to me <3), and sigh. not surprising. put two stupid traumatised hogs in the same room and they'll either zoom around trying to race each other or they'll try to tear each others throat bc they just cant be normal together. ig thats how they communicate, go figures lol

my thoughts are all over the place atm so its hard to make this coherent <- my thoughts abt them are usually just violently screaming and sobbing. im sooo normal abt them. cant get much deeper than this without getting into the Lore, but yeah, ig this is smth

and oh, abt fanfics, hmmm i dont have that many that you could read without any background, but i did just finish this one shots collection thats very sweet and pretty chill to read without much prior knowledge, its mostly just a bunch of fluffy sick fics and them exploring their own feelings.

[isabelguerra]

okok happy birthday I really want to know more wizard au stuff but I cannot find your fics pls a link would be much appreciated

also this is just like a free space to talk abt your au literally whatever you've been wanting an excuse for this anon is 4 you happy birthday my friend !!! we're not mutuals but you're like one of two regular pnat people on tumblr which is a bond I Think

THANK YOUUU FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES!!!! 💕💕 If it makes you feel better I’m not mutuals with ANYONE. This is a sideblog. Regardless it’s nice to have you here, I’m glad to be one of your few pnat blogs. :)

AND WELL LOL that would be because most of wizard au currently isn’t published! the best place to know more stuff about the au is either in my #wizard au tag, or just asking me! i love to talk about it, and right now it’s a lot easier for me to answer asks in my spare moments. i occasionally post screenshots from my doc files on here, but the fics are taking a backseat while I work on my Job Project.

Alternatively, you can check out:

The Pnat At Wizard School AU I Made When I Was 16 Is Still Fun Unfortunately JKR DNI - This was my first attempt at publishing the writing I’d done, before I got embarrassed and orphaned it, back in 2020. It’s a little outdated but most of it holds up. Boggart fic is one of my favorites.

Pnat Hogwarts AU by Twilighteve. I made wizard AU way back in 2015 with a friend, and twilighteve wrote SEVEN FICS as fanwork. The story now is different and follows Isabel rather than Max, but these are still great fics and I’m very lucky to have had someone enjoy my au enough to write so much for them. Throughout the Tournament is a really fun read.

i cant believe i’ve had this story for like 8 years at this point. i think it’s almost more fun to have as an au on my blog than an actual fic series? looking back whenever i start thinking about The Fics i just get stressed out. i’ve had it as an au since 2015 and i’ve had writing wips since 2018. its nice to have something with me for that long, i think thats why i keep coming back to it? even though thinking about it in terms of Fic Output and Writing Order makes me so stressed. at the end of the day it’s mine. and it’s there for be an outlet for me. if i want to be lazy about it, i can. if i want to put a lot of hard work into it, i can. i get to cozy up before bed and imagine wizjo scenarios.

and seeing how the characters have developed over the years has been weird- like, i wrote a lot of this in 2015. what do you MEAN codys a vampire. what do you MEAN theres whole new areas of the paranormal. its funny but when put next to current pnat you can REALLY see how its dated lol. so much is built on top of the 2015-2016 era headcanons like cody & lisa being twins, or not knowing what the spirit in isabels umbrella was like. we didnt know flipflop yet!!!! hes just not in there!!!!! we didnt know what the BERG was so max isnt a catboy!!! davy doesnt exist!!!!!!!

and there are in-comic background characters that we would talk about and gave names who show up in the au. these two are chasers on the gryffindor quidditch team with isabel & johnny:

& we named them sarah and logan. that might canonically be their names too????? but i cant remember.

Here are some very practical Wizard AU facts:

Story spans from 2nd year when Isabel loses Eightfold to 7th(?) year when they graduate

The biggest reason so much isn’t on AO3 is because theres so much I have no idea how to organize it. For example:

At my current pace, I have ~5 fics based on central emotional beats. In order to keep things interesting for non-izjo readers, I tried adding a little overarching plot

Said plot now vastly overshadows the initial series purpose of a Dorky 6 Year Long Izjo Slowburn

‘Wait I don’t care about this i just want my dorky 6 year long izjo slowburn. but wait, this has lived in my head since 2015, is it even legible to anyone who would just be coming into it?’

~5 central plot fics, each with around 5 chapters at maybe 10k per chapter give or take. is roughly 250k total. even if i do publish this it’s going to take years

What else is there…………. Isabel is really good at offensive magic. She becomes quidditch team captain in their 5th year. Max hates flying on brooms.

Wizjos arc means so much to me.

Their friendship vaguely starts in 2nd year. theyre the quidditch beaters but work horribly together- they argue a lot and dont get along at all, it almost gets them kicked off the team. theyre forced into a situation that pairs them to work together sometime mid semester, and at the end of it they’re still… tense, but have a better understanding of each other? like ‘you annoy me but we had a moment that i would feel bad betraying. i think were more similar than i thought and i dont know how to feel about it yet’. Johnny develops his crush and it’s very strangled because he’s 12.

By 3rd year they’re more cooperative. Getting towards friendly. Theyre teammates AND housemates, so even though theyre in separate friend groups they spend a lot of time together. Still bickering but there’s slowly more and more fun behind it. Less ‘i’ll shove you off your broom’ and more ‘hey maybe if we do x we can shove x off their broom together’. Isabel begins having fun hanging out with johnny because he bites back. It’s stopped being annoying and become ‘oh hes just as conscious (whether he knows it or not) about his image as i am. it’s nice to put that down around someone. and also blast him with wizard lasers sometimes. and get blasted by wizard lasers.’

By 4th year they’re friends and Johnny’s still sitting with his feelings. It’s just a part of daily life. Wake up. Brush teeth. Shut Up Guerra (Hey Guerra). Lunch. Pick on a 2nd year. Meet up with Guerra before practice. Tell that one joke cause it always makes her laugh. Don’t make it obvious how you feel. Don’t let it slip how you feel. Don’t jeopardize this. Don’t do anything that’d make her feel weird. You’re her friend and he likes being her friend so it’s not a big deal. Isabel has slowly been getting more pressure from her grandpa, and every time shes stressed and cant go to her AC friends she goes to Johnny. So by 4th year they’re more or less best friends.

By 5th year they’re a capital T Team. Isabel’s gryffindor captain now and Johnny’s essentially her right hand. He’s there to hold new member tryouts with her, they study in the commonroom late at night, hes so gleeful about her uppity new position that he permanently cements calling her Captain into their teasing nicknames and Isabel hates it. In return Isabel makes him do extra laps, because she can do that now. And then Johnny gets in a non-serious accident and is in the infirmary for a week and suddenly Isabel is confronted with Oh. Oh I Don’t Like This. Oh This Is Bad. He’s fine he just gets like a concussion or something but Isabel doesn’t KNOW that right away and all of a sudden she’s faced with ‘i didnt realize how much of my life you’ve become and i miss you now that youre not there’ ‘…….why do i miss you now that youre not there.’ ‘we have a quidditch match coming up and i dont know if youll be healthy enough to play’ ‘i dont care about the game. id cancel in an instant if it means you wont have to play injured’ ‘………………why did i-’ etc. And afterwards Johnnys FINE but isabel is left with this weird hole in her gut and the reality that In That Situation That Was My Reaction And Those Were My Feelings. She’s confronted with the fact that somewhere along the line, Johnny became someone important to her. And that him getting hurt worried her. Because she cares about his wellbeing. Because she likes spending time with him. Because he’s her quidditch partner. Because she doesn’t think she could see herself playing with anyone else. Because she doesn’t think she’d want to play with anyone else. And then shes in trouble.

By 6th year is when things start kicking into gear. For starters the Triwizard Tournament because I can’t do a wizard au without some wizard deathsports. None of it is directly involved, that’s actually MAX’S B-plot, but a lot of what goes on because of it directly influences the wizjo A-plot.

Now we’re dealing with Johnnys time-tempered feelings that he’s accepted nothing would happen with but are still very alive, and ISABEL, who has JUST realized and has been stewing in her feelings all summer. With no outlet or real processing. Cant even go to johnny about it because well he Is johnny. He’s johnny and he gets under her skin and helps her with her transmutation homework and when she blasts him in dueling class he gets back up with a bigger grin than when she knocked him down. And she’s going to explode, she thinks.

And I’ve talked about this but when Headmaster Boss Leader (lmfao) says the forest is off limits during the tournament, of course they bet who can sneak out and last longer. And of course both friend groups scatter and get lost in the woods and of course who finds each other but. each other. and of course theyre both angry and worried about their friends and on guard bc theyre in the fucking forbidden forest at like 1am. Isabels ashamed that she didnt think more and johnnys grumpy and theyre so so blaming it on each other. Don’t deal with your feelings when you can express them through what you both know best: bickering and riling each other up to get the energy out. Isabels doing all this while trying Not to think about her crush. Johnnys long accepted his crush and that it’s not going to happen. So they are both very very surprised when Isabel kisses him mid argument, much to her horror. She apologizes and they get back to looking for their friends, who find them first. Later that night Isabel decides to apologize properly, because in her mind she let her emotions get out of control and seriously took advantage of him and she feels horrible about it. He’s someone she cares about, even though he probably doesn’t feel the same way, and it was wrong (She’s beating herself up and saying see? heres what happens if you let yourself have nice things. youd be lucky if he even speaks to you after what you did. you cant do this again.). Johnny however hears ‘that meant nothing to me i’m embarrassed and dont read into it’. Which is. Fine. He knew that. He’s known that. Hes big and scary and doesn’t let something like rejection get to him. Especially cause it wasn’t even rejection because she was never interested in the first place! Which he knows! So it doesn’t matter! And he can handle it really well! Yeah sure thing Guerra no big deal why’d she ever WANT to kiss him right theyre not like that! See her at practice ! they both walk away like Glad that was cleared up! [screaming]

This keeps happening. 6th year is when everything thats been boiling starts bubbling over.

isabel kisses johnny and everything gets wobbly. they’re trying to focus on their studies, and quidditch, and maintain that comfortable friendship theyve had since 3rd year, and not think about how nice it would be to try it just one more time. everyone, including the guest students from other schools that are here for the tournament, can see that theyve got something going on, even if they cant. johnny makes an excuse to drape his legs over isabels lap. isabel finds an excuse to grab johnnys wrist, or nudge him on the shoulder. they’re trying to deal with how things used to be and how they are now and how they want them to be and how they feel.

they ALMOST kiss again during wizard prom, which they don’t attend together. but they dont.

and then they have exams in spring. and isabels sooooo confident that she’ll knock out that stupid dog boggart just like she did third year. so she’s pretty shaken up when her grandpa shows up instead and says hes pulling her out of school early. shes too much trouble and hes through putting up with this time-wasting education, its time for her to quit being an embarrassment to him and finish learning the family magic. theres a lot more insults thrown in but thats the jist. and she goes running to the commonroom because not only did all that happen and she’s freaking out, but it happened and she freaked out in front of the entire class. and johnny goes after her because hes worried like crazy and they have a moment and he goes a bit overboard on the whole ‘if thats what your real grandpas like then i dont care who he is hes a jackass. cant he see what an annoyingly massive brain youve got on your shoulders or how youre cracked at strategy or’ and he does that for like 10 minutes while gently rubbing her back and isabel is having another crisis on top of her grandpa crisis. because what she tried so hard to kill is still very much alive. and hes being weirdly soft and comforting and she feels better with him here and its a lot to deal with. And she feels horrible and guilty and she doesn’t want him to stop.

Johnny is trying desperately to break tension and make sure she knows its bullshit. She’s HIS friend! Nobody talks like that about one of HIS friends and gets away with it! Even if it was a creature disguised as her grandpa and not actually her grandpa! SHE deserves to know that it’s not true and HES not gonna stand by it! But shes resisting and hes frustrated and there’s got to be SOMETHING thatll get through her head there’s got to be SOMETHING he can do to show her what he thinks but shes being DIFFICULT and hes BAD AT WORDSTHINKING and- oh okay thats a kiss. To get through her big smart wonderful dense skull. And it’s very soft and very determined to say ‘you’re wonderful. this is how wonderful i think you are. you dont need me to tell you it but please listen please please please if you need to hear it from someone else ill tell you. i dont really know how to in the way you deserve but youre worth learning’. All in front of the couch they spent hours on studying and planning matches on and napping and its warm and isabel is. well. Isabel Is In Trouble.

And then oh. Well. Um. Hello Maxwell. Who Came To Check On Us Because We Were Taking So Long .

frankly i’m still not sure how they sort that one out. johnny awkwardly excuses himself. and sometime before the school year ends they Actually Talk About It

By 7th year theyre together and very happy and very much the school menaces. Turns out avoiding your feelings gets you nowhere when instead you could face them and put your head together and cause all your separate rabblerousery with each other. And also hold hands with your best friend who you meet for breakfast and fall asleep on and spar against and get excited over the upcoming quidditch season with and kiss and sneak out to the astronomy tower with a blanket. isabel doesn’t want to take over franciscos legacy and johnnys like ‘i mean youve been pretty busy buildin your own, cap’. and she thinks. yeah. but itd be um. kind of empty with just me, dont you think?

Because she likes spending time with him. Because he’s her quidditch partner. Because she doesn’t think she could see herself playing with anyone else. Because she doesn’t think she could see herself wanting to play with anyone else. And then shes in trouble. Because neither does he.

[gizdathemxel]

my hot take on purity culture is that nobody knows how to be normal about sex :3

(tw for sex, puritanism, pedophila (?) [not explicit tbh], and shitty discourse)

call me a puriteen n all but like has it not bothered you to ever think of why so many young people are sex negative (definitely not a culture and internet that puts us in sexual situations when we are far too young and far too uncomfortable) ? has it ever bothered u to ask why so many young people are not performing critical media analysis (definitely not a lackluster education and culture that dissuades us from thinking deeper about the media we read) ? when I was a minor I could not tell you how many people i knew (me included) struggled with porn addiction bc we were exposed to pornography when we were FAR too young. young people are taught to be ashamed of and fearful of sex while simultaneously having their sex lives being put on blast 24/7 for others to jack off to, and you expect us to NOT act out about it?

like yes, you are absolutely right that sex (esp queer sex) is a totally normal thing and that you should be allowed to write wtv you want to write and share it among other like-minded people! yes you’re absolutely right that sex is a huge part of queer history that has been historically wiped away and that needs to be preserved !! i will not argue that puritans won’t jump at any chance to censor and shame and discriminate against anyone they deem a deviant!!! that is true!!

but you cannot expect a bunch of young people, still educating themselves, still figuring out their sexual identity in a world that shames and sexualizes them, still figuring out how to truly interact w media to have already know that. you don’t have to educate them but like there’s no need to be like “erm…minors amirite 😒” when a block will suffice

it’s so ridiculously revisionist to act like the internet is ‘sanitized’ or is perfectly filtered out so that minors stay in minor spaces and adults stay in adult spaces. there are people posting porn on tiktok, on twitter, on tumblr, on every fucking platform one can think of (including youtube). it is truly not that hard to encounter adult material even when you’re a minor. people will gladly send you porn or similarly graphic stuff even if ur a minor. you literally couldn’t have looked up mlp on GOOGLE back in the late 2000s/2010s and not be shown mlp porn. there’s an infamous porn video of mlaatr where the main (16yo) character gets raped by rock creatures, and it looks JUST like the show’s art style. so it’s very likely that there’s a generation of people whose very 1st sexual exposure was watching their fave characters be placed in inappropriate sexual content when they were children. so yay learning about sex thru bastardization!!

and combine that with young people who have never actually been taught how to explore their sexuality and instead learned “if ur even horny for a minute you will go to hell and die” ur going to get ill-adjusted young people who do not know wtf theyre doing. u are going to get people who are going to bump their heads a fucking lot.

ill be honest and admit that when I was a kid I was definitely within the puriteen camp bc gw!! I was a queer kid who just started grasping their sexuality in the middle of the pandemic and all I had was unrestricted access to the internet, that gave everything to me at 110%

I am not asking that every space be wiped squeaky clean just in case that a minor might be present, but I am asking to extend a little grace. Drop educational sources a so called puriteen should refer to!! Show how that kind of puritanical thinking can do actual harm to marginalized people!! Don’t get in internet spays w kids!! Just block and move on!!

(also i will forever be giggling at that one comic abt a minor entering an “adult” space and then getting mad at the adults there and calling them pedos just for the ‘adult’ space the op was talking about to be sophia the 1st nsfw fanfic. i literally cant)

[sevengraces]

someday I'm gonna be somebody people want

You, ch2, Title Card

AO3 Link

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Tim slowly stiffened as he came back into himself. He was curled up in Jasons lap, with his head shoved under the older mans’ chin and his face buried in his neck. His hands were gripping the back of Jasons’ jacket like he belonged there and there were half dried tears all over the both of them. Jason had his arm wrapped around him and his other hand was running though his hair. Casually, he pressed a kiss onto the top of Tims’ hair, still speaking softly throughout it all.

-or-

Nobody ever deals well with loneliness, but certain people are probably worse at it and certain people probably deal with it more often. Tim is of course both of these people.

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Hello, this is complete and I might just post it all at once, we shall see lol. First DC post at all tbh, and I've read exactly one comic in my life and am not likely to read more so if you are a canon type of reader then you might not wanna be here. All character and such choices come from the first Red Robin comic and fanfiction, that is it. The fic title is from Noah Kahan "Come Over" and the chapter title is from Dodie "All My Daughters" - I picked the songs and lyrics for the titles from a playlist I made abt Tim Drake and these were the best fits for the fic lol, lemme know if you want more Tim Drake song recs cause I've got a shit ton.

(also if you're here for my series in progress I'm sorry- I promise it'll happen just maybe not for awhile, it hasn't been my special interest in a hot minute so this is what you're getting rn lol)

CW's/TW's:

panic attacks negative self talk/low self esteem swearing vomit mentions of canon typical violence suicidal thoughts --- that should be all but as always let me know if I missed something

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Chapter 1- I'll grow the bones myself then, on my own again

Tim has pretty much always known, in the way that clever children tend to know things, that there is possibly something wrong with how his parents raised him. Objectively an eleven year old shouldn’t know to lie about who is and isn’t home to avoid trouble, but being alone suited him. It was convenient and necessary and normal and understandable and utterly, utterly miserable. But growing up a lonely child suited him in the same way that grief suited Batman, terrible but necessary.

Batman has only gotten better at grief and Tim thinks, as an emancipated minor in the silence of his blank apartment with big windows and echoey walls, that perhaps he has perfected the art of the lonely child.

Regardless of how suited he is to isolation, he knows he grows maudlin the longer it lasts. It’s a poor excuse for his weak will, but as he stands in his sparkling penthouse kitchen silently making his third cup of coffee this morning he considers.

Tim braces his elbows on the solid marble countertop with his eyes closed to the harsh fluorescent lights and the echoes of his mothers’ sharp nails in his arm and he considers picking up the phone. He could call someone- anyone at all, in an effort to avoid this sinking sensation he’s fled from since he was nine years old with nothing but everything he’d ever needed and a camera to keep him sated. Someone might even answer, depending on who he called.

It is ten in the morning on an entirely unremarkable Saturday. The sun is resting comfortably in the sky, his phone is fully charged, he knows where everyone he has ever cared about is, and he could call anyone.

Tim opens his eyes and stretches out an arm across the countertop towards his phone, hesitating slightly before making contact but pushing through nonetheless. He flicks it on and ignores every single notification with the heavy awareness that not a single one of them is from anyone who actually wants to talk to him, he taps through the apps before reaching the dial screen and he places the phone face up on the countertop and breathes.

He stands straight from where he had been bent over, carrying his coffee with him through the rest of the kitchen. He doesn’t open the fridge, there’s nothing in there anyways. Tim takes even steps until he reaches the far window of the living room where he leans against it and slides down slowly.

Once he’s rested against the floor with his fresh coffee cradled in his hands he leans his head against the cool glass and considers his options.

He could call Cass, she’d probably answer him. Mostly because he never calls unless there’s a world ending disaster, but she would answer him. After the hurried reassurance that “No Cass, nothings wrong- I just wanted to talk” she would probably let him ramble on about whatever he could come up with for awhile before she pointed out in that simple, honest way of hers that they didn’t talk like this and she knows he didn’t call just to make small talk. She would stare at his face through the screen and wait for his explanation, she would stare and wait for him to lie. Once he did, because he always did- what else could he even do? She would watch his body tense, she would follow the lines of anxiety like a roadmap, until every petty insecurity was written plain as sin on his face. And then she would accept the lie like it didn’t hurt, like she didn’t know. They would talk and maybe even have an okay time, then something would happen in Hong Kong and she’d have to go or WE would explode in some new way and he would have to go. Either way the call would end and Tim would be alone again in his pristine, lifeless apartment except this time someone else would know how badly he wanted to claw off his skin in the hopes of finding whatever was deeply wrong with him.

Tim laughed like a rusty hinge and took a sip of coffee. To no fault of her own, Cass couldn’t help him- he ignored the fact that the only solid feeling he’d had in days was that nothing and no one could help him.

There was always someone a little less discerning, like Dick. The man could flay him alive, but it would be entirely unintentional and oblivious on his part. He could call Dick and he might answer. Of course it was a Saturday morning so he was probably either asleep or with Damian, and Tim didn’t want to wake him up or deal with the building tension as he waited for Dick to hang up because the demon brat needed something at that exact minute. There was the chance he was hanging out by himself at his own apartment in Bludhaven, but even Tim could only intrude on the older mans’ personal space and time so often. No, Tim knew with a bone deep certainty that he could not handle this call going to voicemail or being cut short because Tim was the easiest burden to leave behind.

He carefully placed his coffee mug on the floor next to him and pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes, watching the spots burst into being and fade out slowly.

For obvious reasons he wasn’t going to call Damian. For all that he was eleven years old and impossible to deal with, Tim didn’t want to be the type of person who needed a teenager to regulate his emotions for him. The boy knew how that felt first hand- and even if he’d walked into Robin with his eyes open to the consequences, he’d been pushed out with his eyes a little wider and his chest a little hollower for more reasons than most wanted to believe. No matter how snot nosed the demon brat was, that kid had spent too long playing at being an adult and he deserved better than that from Tim, at least. Tim doggedly ignored the fact that he himself had only been a little older than Damian is now when he’d yanked on the mantle with two hands and the determination of a desperate child, he also ignored the fact that Damian would skin him alive for thinking such thoughts even tangentially to thoughts of the boy himself.

The seventeen year old grabbed blindly for his coffee and took a long drink. He had a feeling he knew exactly where this thought exercise was going, but Tim had never been one to give up. Not when he really should, not when it would’ve been easier for everyone involved, and not when it was pointless. He had been good at the suspension of disbelief long before he’d joined the crusade, and he was loathe to break a bad habit.

If not Cass, Dick, or Damian to call- there was always Jason. Tim choked back a snort and stared at the empty wall next to the front door, yes there was always Jason. It was maybe a little unfair to think so poorly of the older boy, but it was too easy for Tim to think highly of him and he had fallen from those heights a few times more often than he’d care to admit. It wasn’t that Jason wasn’t kind or even that he was unwilling to talk to Tim these days, it was more-so that he’d never stopped trying to impress the older man and peeling back his flesh to show Jason the slimy, unlikable parts and then ask to be coddled was a level of desperate that he shuddered to think of reaching. Of course Jason had never been one to coddle Tim in general, which was a generous way of putting it. But despite it all, Jason was a good person and lately seemed if not interested in Tim then vaguely affectionate towards the concept of him- he would probably answer on principle. But how was Tim to even start that conversation? “Hi Jason, I know we literally only talk when we’re working or when Dick gets it in his head that all of us being Robin at some point means something, but I was wondering if you would talk with me about something that wasn’t either mutually traumatizing or how much you hate me. Why? So that I can pretend that someone would choose to be around me, that’s all.” Yeah probably not the best idea he’s had to date.

Tim chewed his lips and pretended that his breathing wasn’t getting heavier the shorter his list of options got. He barreled forward with his mug between his feet and his head between his knees.

Alfred had never once refused a call, with the only recompense being the subtle implications that he really ought to join them for dinner more often. Tim could call Alfred and the man would answer. He would answer and reserve judgement, even more- he would be perfectly willing to bring Tim up to speed on everything he’d missed since the two had last spoken. He would fill him in like it was nothing and with no disapproval to be heard. Alfred was really his best option but nonetheless the boy refused to move towards his phone, still face up and turned on across the room. Alfred had never turned down any overtures of companionship, at least not since Tim had been allowed into the circle as Robin, but he’d also never really reached out to him of his own volition. Tim had always told himself it was the older mans sense of propriety, but what if it was that same sense of propriety that kept him on the line? Tim was lonely, sure, but he didn’t want to take advantage of the fact that Alfred had been attached to the Wayne name for longer than even Bruce had been alive and Tim had latched onto the family like a burr or a mold. The boy wasn’t sure he could handle being placated either, he’d met plenty of people employed under his parents and if today was the day Tim noticed how similar their vacant indulgence was to Alfreds’ steadfast professionalism he would probably break in irreparable ways.

He forcibly calmed his breathing and glared at the mug between his ankles. He ignored how that feeling from earlier had strengthened and barricaded itself in his chest and was making it hard to focus on his heartbeats.

There was Stephanie, one of his oldest and long-lasting companions. He could call her but she was pretty likely to be busy and thus not answer or be rightfully angry and thus not answer. He would have no way of knowing except that he knew which one was most likely if only based on historical precedence. He had been a bad boyfriend but a better friend- that of course didn’t mean much, it wasn’t a particularly hard bar to clear after all. Even disregarding all of their history, Tim hadn’t really spoken to Steph since blowing into town with ninjas on his heels and animosity between them a mile wide. They still hadn’t really sat down and talked about everything from her death, the gang war, and his radio silence during his search for Bruce. It felt wrong to call her up like none of that had happened and she still wanted him around as anything other than a competent yet obnoxious coworker.

The thought of Steph ached like a bruise and that pain only compounded the marching drumbeat in his chest that called out in gleeful tones "Not wanted, not wanted" and so Tim snuffed it like the wick of a bomb and moved onward once more.

Babs was always available, somehow. She made a point to keep a line open for any capes in the Gotham area no matter how frosty the personal relationship had gotten. But that was for professional things, and Tim didn’t know if he could deal with reaching out to her for comfort only for her to remind him exactly how they’d left things. He’d had a case related theory- Bruce wasn’t dead. Dick had disagreed, Barbara had disagreed, everyone had disagreed. Tim had pushed and Dick had taken it both personally and poorly, that moved things from a professional dispute between allies to a personal spat between the nosy neighbor and her long time closest companion. There was no version of reality where Babs chose Tim over Dick, honestly there probably wasn’t a version of reality where anyone chose Tim over anyone they even vaguely liked- let alone loved. It would be absurd to expect her to push past how he’d hurt Dick, even though he’d been right, and it was impossible for Tim to push past how she’d left him to fend for himself out of spite despite the fact that he should’ve expected it and known better.

Tim was trying hard not to catastrophize, he knew that was what it was actually called when he came up with one thousand plans with ten backup versions each, but it was so tempting to script his conversations so that nothing could go wrong. It was nearly fool proof and most of the time it felt like it was almost worth the consequence of looking in the mirror and having his gaze drawn to how his mothers eyes and bone structure fit comfortably on his face. There was always the chance that someone would see his railroading for what it was, but Young JustUs and Steph had been the only people to do so in any meaningful way.

There was nothing stopping him from call Kon, Bart, or Cassie. Well, that was almost true- Kon would answer but he had better things to do than hold his hand through the consequences of his self-imposed isolation. The super was just barely on good terms with Clark and testing the waters of a brotherly relationship with Jon- he had actual, real problems to deal with that didn’t have anything to do with the sort of best friend that had gone insane when he died and tried to clone him back to life. Bart was in a similar boat in that he definitely shouldn’t have to help someone who was somehow less emotionally adjusted than him handle reality. The speedster was beginning to settle back into this time period, and seemed to be believing in the permanence of it in a way he hadn’t before he’d died. Tim didn’t need to shake that up just because he was coping poorly with his own decisions. Cassie was an entirely different situation that Tim was in no way equipped to handle with competency. How do you ask your ex-girlfried/bestfriend/group life partner to tell you she still cares about you when your last proper conversation was her telling you how insane you’d gone and you telling her that you didn’t need her anymore- you don’t, that’s how.

Even though Young JustUs had been prepared to be together until the heat death of the universe, Tim should’ve known better than to hang his hopes on something as flimsy as that. People simply didn’t stay with Tim, which was something he’d learned at the age of ten when his parents had skipped every holiday that year (and his birthday) without comment or apology, he just knew that ten year old would be embarrassed at how far he’d fallen just because some people had been nice to him for a little while. He should’ve known better then and he did know better now.

Bruce was alive and in the correct time so he should be an option, but even Tim wasn’t that delusional. The man was still settling into the modern day and his new family dynamics that had changed without him. True, he was Batman again and Damian was his Robin- but the demon brat still deferred to Dick more often than not and Dick was a little too smug about such preferential treatment to discourage it in any meaningful way. Not that Dick was particularly good at discouraging the boy of any behaviors even when he didn’t enjoy the results but, water and bridges and such. Bruce was chafing under his performative authority and thus going on some sort of family building kick as a consequence. He would definitely answer, but Tim wasn’t sure he could withstand any sort of relationship they built getting thrown to the side once this little tantrum ended. This call would mean too much to Tim and be nothing more than bragging rights or blackmail for Bruce, there was a reason he was the bottom of the list.

Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne was sitting on the floor of his perfect apartment with his head between his knees and a recently emptied coffee mug next to him when he realized, with a sharp exhale like a punch to the gut, that it didn’t matter.

He shot up from his perch, kicking the mug across the room to shatter against the wall, and he laughed. He laughed so hard he couldn’t breathe. He laughed so hard he choked and shook and began to sob. Here he was, freaking out in his stupid apartment in ways he hadn’t since the first time his parents left him home alone for more than a week, and for what reason? He had known this little spectacle wouldn’t mean anything but tears in the end, what was his fascination with self-torture that he’d needed to break it down on a person by person basis like it wasn’t a foregone conclusion as of four years ago when he’d wedged his way into this doomed mission with nothing but empty hands and spite. His sobbing picked up volume and his breathing got sharper.

In some distant way Tim was aware that he was having a panic attack. A pretty bad one, if the crying and shaking had anything to say about it. But in that same distant way he didn’t really care. He was watching himself choke on his tears so hard that he had to curl over and vomit on the hardwood floors and he couldn’t bring himself to feel any type of way about it. What did it matter if he choked to death on his vomit in this perfect, sterile penthouse all by himself? Wasn’t it a little poetic, in a morbid sort of way?

If it wasn’t for the fact that Janet Drake had no physical choice, she would’ve skipped his birth just like his father had- she probably would’ve avoided his birth happening all together if they’d had their way. They’d left him alone as soon as they could get away with it, and he’d wasted away his years waiting for them to come back and acknowledge that they had a son. Wouldn’t it be ironic if he died choking on the physical manifestation of his loneliness in an apartment that reminded him too much of his childhood home to ever be comfortable?

Tim- not Drake or Wayne, just Tim-Nobodies-Son, spread out on his freezing floors and tried to breathe through the suddenly overwhelming urge to see if a second fall from a window would do the job. He tried to beat back the echoing voice that seemed to emanate from the middle of his chest, that had graduated from “not wanted” to “never wanted”, because he could see the next escalation coming from a mile away and he knew there was nobody there to stop it but him- like always. And ever so slowly his tears dried, tacky and embarrassing, and his shame returned to him like his coffee had just a moment ago.

He sighed loud and long, “What am I even doing? I’m lucky dad is dead- at least he doesn’t get to see exactly how right he was.”

As the boy kneaded the tension from his forehead he noticed a clicking sound that, in hindsight, had been echoing around his walls for quite awhile.

And then Jason Todd, in all his murderous glory, was standing in his doorway with lock picks in hand and an unreadable expression on his face.

[rose022]

based on my last post!

the character that made me think of that is rei from im in love with the villainess and while i dont think im caught up with the comic anymore i read a lot of it and even parts of the novel when i first got into it. for those who dont know this girl gets isekaied into a video game she loved where her fav character was the villainess and she now tries to woo her. when you start the series, you think of her as just a silly and outgoing character but the thing is, its all an act. thats what gets me. like yes she really goes love claire but shes a lesbian and the character she knew in the game had one crush on a guy- she knows she had no chance. and so shes obnoxious about her advances. she makes herself into a joke because she believes then itll hurt less when shes inevitably rejected and pushed away and when people once again find her to be gross and weird. but! she still has a friend who enjoys her company and while claire is thrown off by rei (understandably) she also doesnt actually hate her or genuinely tell her that shes gross. and so when someone else comes to steal claire and rei gets jealous, the other person confronts her about this. that shes not genuinely trying to win over claire. so yeah idk that just gets me, plus the way they talk about and handle queer themes is really good (though warning in the manga there is a part with incest from what i remember. its nothingg big but i wanna say in case someone needs to avoid that.)

and now. the character i mass rbed last night, my beloved Sasha Tartt from the antagonist's pet. she was also isekaied into one of these romantic fantasy stories but shes not one of the main characters or anything, just some random nobody that barely had a line mentioning her. so she decides to avoid them and live peacefully. and she figures out that even tho no one cares abt her cus shes that much of a nobody, she can still get sweets and good stuff by sucking up to these nobles by, quite sincerely, acting like a pet. shes cute and people like to feed her treats and give her pets but they also dont view her as equal to them. shes just selling herself. and the worst part is that because nobles are taught to supress their feelings and always be poised and dignified, they can never show their emotions nor do they know how to deal with them. and so, she allows people to take it out on her. telling her about their problems, yelling, and attacking her. she says she doesnt mind this because she still gets pets and sweets. but shes not a person to these people, no matter how much she compliments them and helps them with their issues. and theres also all the people who talk bad about her for doing this and having no pride. whats even worse is that she has this habit of bitting her thumb til it bleeds when shes nervous or worried. shes keeps thinking about her past life too so she wants to take advantage of everything good here but it comes at the cost of herself.

oughh i wanna reread it now... also i very much recommend this one but tbh i dont like how it ends and i can do a whole lil rant abt that too but ill save it for another time. i doibt anyones even gonna read this one

[dyketectivecomics]

So here we are, a week into the new year...

Let's talk comics/blog resolutions once again, lmao

I made it to abt 4.2k comics read by end of 2023! So to up the ante from where I made that 4k goal last year: by end of 2024 I'm going to aim to log 6.5k comics read! I think it's pretty ambitious, maybe even a little TOO much, but it also will encourage me to expand my horizons quite a bit. Try as DC might, there's still only so many bat-centric comics in their archives lol

I'm going to clear my inbox! But a little more specifically, I'm giving myself a deadline to do so by end of February and anyone reading this PLZ feel free to Hold Me to That! Most of it is ficlet requests obvsly, and we'll talk abt fic writing goals in a sec here, but ye!!! It's always a good time to start fresh again, and going into the spring I want a good fresh start there!

But ye, RIP to last year's goal to finish LMM before year's end, SECOND best time is now, etc etc, but in all seriousness, I'm genuinely looking forward to editing & finally finishing/sharing what I've been cooking. I know the ppl who care are gonna be rlly psyched & well, hey, maybe the rest of y'all will want to see other things from me too! who knows!

I still want to maintain this blog as my general archiving space, but I'll slowly start revamping my other sideblogs too. no solid resolutions/plans there except for the Duke & Oracle blogs for now. I'm not absolutely sure what the queue system/posting is gonna be changing to on this. but im ready to be annoying here again & i'm abt to make it all of y'alls problems lmao

That being said, the time that I've spent away from being an Active fic/meta writer, has made me realize how much I love verbalizing my thoughts rather than just writing them out... and listen, idk how receptive anyone will be to hours-long video-essay/podcast deep-dives on obscure comics characters, esp for what Ive got in mind to work with, but it's an idea that im TOYING with lol

idk!!! i like resolutions, and I think since irl I've gone into this year with a few more tools to make more/smaller/more manageable resolutions on a more frequent basis, i'm gonna apply that same logic here. so batten down the hatches i guess!!! y'all will be seeing a lot more of me on ur dashes!!!

[b00inazkaban]

Hello!! Could I please get a matchup? (I am following would just prefer to remain anonymous <33)

Fandom: Stranger Things or Harry Potter (preferable marauders but idm) whatever one you think fits best!!

I dress in a cottagecore and/or chaotic academia style depending on the weather and where I’m going, my favourite item of clothing is my Anaheim Ducks hoodie, I wear it even in the boiling sun

I’m not not shy?? But I’m not very confident. I’m quite insecure about how I look so I’m quite reserved unless I’m with my friends who I literally never shut up when I’m with, backstage one of my friends told me “you don’t always have to be talking u know” while laughing, I like to think I give off a sweet approachable vibe. My friend told me I give off Chaotic Neutral vibes if that helps, I really like dragons. I think they’re very cool.

I play D&D!! I play as an Eleven Bard and I adore her, never shut up about her ever my poor friends are sick to death of hearing abt Willow. I love the ninja turtles. Like I absolutely adore them, my favourite is Donatello, I read comics and books. My favourite book is The Perks of Being a Wallflower, I collect crystals, Funko Pops, posters, stuffed animals, books and D&D dice (I have 13 sets and only started playing in February) I cant sleep without a stuffed animal and cannot sleep unless there’s a light on in the room. I’m AFAB but use He/It pronouns <33

A character from Stranger things I defo wouldn’t want to be shipped with would possible be Eddie and Harry Potter Tom Riddle

TYSM!! <33

MatchUp! :)

I match you up with Remus Lupin for marauders era!

(I hope you enjoy!!!)

☆ I think he doesn't care too much about style but he likes cottagecore

☆ I think your personality's match up well. I think he'd try to help with your confidence as well because he's that kind of man

☆ I think that Remus would either already play DnD or he would he into DnD because you like it and you play it

☆ H love reading all the time that's why he does in his when he has nothing to do mos of the time, I think he likes more older books not as much comic books bu you could probably get him into comics by talk to him about them

☆ I don't think he will have any problem with that you having stuffed animals or having a light on while you sleep. I think he would buy you stuffed animals on the week ends when he's either not working or the weekend trip to Hogsmeade.

(Also anyone would like to remain anonymous you could just DM me so I could let you know when I've posted your match up, an if you still wanna remain anonymous that's fine)

[bad12amcomic]

Hello hello hello hello!!

I have been obsessed with all of your comics and,, perhaps if you would like,, I would love to know what goes through your head when you make these? What are details you're really excited about that maybe you're worried the viewers will miss? What was your favorite part of the sleeping in the flowers comic?

Or just talk abt whatever!! I just want to hear your thoughts :D

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 SOBS YOURE SO SWEET???? honestly the only reason why I took so long to answer this was mainly because I just wanted to keep your ask in my inbox like a creep and that I had tried to answer this 3 separate times but Tumblr threw a hissyfit

Uh I guess since you’re indulging me I will indulge you… I tend to prioritize the visual aspect of the comic a LOT more than anything else, (I was super happy when people complimented me on my paneling hehe) so I will go through a rough draft of figuring where I want the camera to go and then go “no that’s stupid”, erase it, start over again until my brain and eyes agree that yeah that comprehensible (one of the flower comic pages took me 5 tries to get right each time from scratch lololol). (This is also the section where I am screaming the most because I hate lineart and anything I line looks murky and unclear so I grapple my friends to ask them to validate me)

And then the colors, and this is where I try working out my symbolism muscles and show off because so far this has been a lot of the characters sitting around and talking which isn’t bad but this probably could’ve been a fic if I was a writer. For the flower comic it was basically green and red which are complimentary colors obviously [Green is obviously Scar’s color but they’re literally at his base where everything was hand built and tended to by him and Grian who is red like his feelings would’ve stood out is he wasn’t playing it cool and camouflaged behind his really big green hat and the hat provides shelter from the sun depriving his sweater feelings flowers from being fed because turns out scars color is also yellow because yellow and blue make green and the few times that grian does look at scar is enough to saturate grow feed the feelings flowers sweater and they are almost allowed to be in bloom but Grian is a trooper emotionally repressed but a trooper and he is hiding from the yellow but sir cannot ignore such a tempting request to stay from his complimentary and did anyone notice scars speech bubbles shedding light on his sweater when he asks I blame Crow and Eirian for enabling me on that that was so gay anyways BOOM BOOM BOOM look the all encompassing green finally fulfills its role as the backdrop as all of the colors feelings thoughts come into view wow look the yellow comes in too because while grian has been looking at the yellow scar has been facing away from it]

I guess if I was worried about anything the viewers were going to miss (I was excited that people liked the texturing, flowers in general the greater structure of the comic) was that they were going to miss the subtext that even though Scar looked like he knew what was going on and was trying to tease Grian he was very much in the dark. (I was kinda proud of the frame after the panel where Scar’s smile falters) Looking back, I probably didn’t pull it off anyways but at the time of posting I thought if there was a viewer who hasn’t read the fic the comic was based on it would suck if they didn’t catch that.

So uh yeah (jazz hands) a lot of run on sentences. I usually add a drawing to an ask so uh have this doodle I did when I actually had an intervention with a couple of friends in the server I was streaming drawing the big flower panel at 2 AM. (70% of the flowers in that panel were hand drawn :D)

[cyborg-franky]

I’m sorry your day didn’t start out good and I hope it got better. Comfort shows are a definite yes. Which one were you watching if you don’t mind me asking? I also like turning the temperature down to freezing (more so than usual because I prefer the cold) so that I have an excuse to grab my weighted blanket, a squishmellow, and heat up chocolate milk. And watch a comfort show ofc. It makes me feel sleepy and if I’m asleep I don’t have to think abt my problems. Easy solution. It also makes me feel safe. I don’t know if thats the experience for everyone but I hope you got to experience that today. Because you’re a wonderful person who deserves it simply cause you exist. Also. I’ve been meaning to watch a horror movie but I’ve just been so swamped with work these last two weeks. I was thinking abt watching Smile. Have you heard of it? It just came out and I’ve heard it’s great but like at the same time not to go watch it if you’re in a bad head space so like I’m 50/50 on it. Do you have an spooky movie recs oh amazing Franky? Sorry this got so long I didn’t even realize I was rambling. Anyways I hope you feeling better soon and just a reminder that you’re an amazing and wonderful person who deserves to rest and that everyone had their off days! *sends many comforting virtual hugs*

- virtual hug anon

Thank you for the sweet message, you are always a total bean. You make me feel like maybe I do deserve it <3 I was watching Final Destination 4 [The Nazcar one] and later I watched JIGSAW. Yeah I just keep having a few bad days recently, like bad weeks but I am trying to get my ass into a better headspace and finish everything I need to. I am thankfully not behind on deadlines.

Horror is one of those things I can scream about for ages. I was a journalist for years and I covered a lot of horror related things. I used to get press passes to Gaming cons and comic cons to go and play the new horror games, check out new and up coming things, talk to guests who'd been in horror roles.

So I could talk about it for ages.

I am very behind on anything new that has come out, I think I said somewhere that the newest horror thing I have seen is Netflix's new Resident Evil show [The live action one not the CGI things] and it was pretty good.

My top horror movies, regardless of how good they are.. SO many movies undercut

The Skeleton Key Dog Soldiers [Fave movie of all time tbh] Dawn Of The Dead [2000s remake] The Hills Have Eyes [2000s remake] The Descent Thirteen Ghosts Final Destination [first 3 are good the rest are ridiculous fodder but still fun] Battle Royale [Also the best book I have ever read] Circle HUSH PULSE [American remake actually, yeah I know] The Autopsy of Jane Doe Insidious - The Last Key The Ring [Japanese] The Grudge [Japanese] STAY ALIVE [dumb, so dumb but I love] SAW [Torture porn or not the first saw was ground breaking and well written, it broke boundaries] Veronika [Veronica?] REC [Spanish] The Ritual The Woman In Black The Conjuring The Mist Event Horizon The Ruins Nightmare On Elmstreet [Orginals] CUBE As Above So Below CAM SHUTTER [Japanese of American, both are good] DARK WATER [Japanese] The Eye [Japanese] Afflicted We Are What We Are The Last House On The Left [2000s remake] The Thing [Both the 80s and 2000s one is good] Dog House [Horror/Comedy] Severance [Horror/Comedy] Land Of The Dead [2000s Remake] THEM Old [It's a M.Night but it's pretty clever/intense] Alien [The first one] Spiral - From The Book Of Saw [It's pretty good, alot of people will shit on it but if you don't want a typical SAW it's good] HOWL Escape Room [first only] The Purge [ANYTHING other then the first one is pretty good, just skip the first one and enjoy the rest.] EXTE [Japanese horror comedy, a fucking wild ride] The Happiness Of The Katakuris [Japanese, musical, horror, comedy] Hill House [TV Show] Frozen [The horror movie, please] What Lies Beneath Before I Awake SINISTER Just a tip if anyone says Cabin In The Woods if their fave horror they didn't get the point of the satire. take a shot for every horror movie thats one word or starts with THE.