#if i did something like this wouldve changed me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

espytalks · 1 year

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Watchin ghibli movies for the first time as an adult is like asking me to experience the most magical, relaxing dream of my life, and expecting me to move on with my day like it never happened.

#espy talks #ive watched four total so far #just finished howls mving casl #and??? these movies so far have been just. magical #theyre so pretty and dreamlike #its whimsical in a soft way that just carries you through #the emotional equivalent of a warm blanket on a cold day #ifk if idve like them when i was a kid but.#if i did something like this wouldve changed me #this is formative kinda shit here #and im just thinkin. man. i gotta do tje dishes #and maybe itll be ok #im very relaxed right now #and i dont realise how tense and stressed i normally am until im not

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tommygettingwrittenoff · 2 months

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i just think if roles were reversed and buck was the one saying those gay ass lines to eddie, eddie wouldve proposed like four seasons ago

#like if buck had a kid and he said to eddie “theres no one in this world i trust with my kid more than you” eddie wouldve given him head #if buck had written him into his will and said “because eddie (cuz im sorry but buck loves eddies name too much to not use it)#you act like youre expendable but youre wrong“ eddie wouldve been like on his knees begging for buck to move in already #or if eddie did something reckless and after told buck he had to do it and buck just looked at him fondly and said “i know you did”#eddie wouldve dragged his ass to the nearest jewelry store to get them matching rings #or if someone off handedly mentioned how long he was dead/underground/uhhh bleeding out from his gunshot wound #and buck corrected them and said “um no actually it was 3 minutes and 17 before we got to the hospital” eddie wouldve done unspeakable #things to him in the bathroom of that underground poker club #or if eddie came out to buck and buck gave him a similar supportive little talk and said “this doesnt change a thing between us”#eddie wouldve been like “uh no actually it does get in the fucking car rn” and driven them to the courthouse so they could get married #basically #eddie says the gayest shit to buck all the time but buck just hears it as Normal Bro Things because hes never had a normal friend before so #he had nothing to really compare it to #but if buck were to say this kinda gay shit to eddie #eddie would immediately be like oh youre in love with me because eddie is a romantic and knows declarations of love when he hears them #however #buck communicates his feelings with flirting but eddie is fucking stupid and has no game and no rizz and doesnt realize hes flirting #eddie communicates his feelings with grand declarations of love but buck is fucking stupid and doesnt realize people actually care about hi #they need to flip communication styles and then theyll realize #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #get him out of there #let eddie free so he can finally have game #omg no or if eddie had done something that kinda pissed buck off and buck just looked at him after eddie apologized and said “ofc i forgive #you“ well there wouldve been something freaky going on in the firehouse closets that halloween

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haemosexuality · 10 months

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i couldve gone to sleep 3 hours ago but i decided to stay up and personally download/screenshot every single marceline outfit ever so i could make a tier list. heres the link

#so we got 9 that are my all time favorites #TWENTY FOUR that are good (i broke that tier in two)#15 that i cant find anything to say other than ''yeah thats an outfit for sure''#5 that could be better. which means either 1-its kinda ugly but fixable (princess day and the green suit one)#2-its a bit boring like i feel they couldve done something better w it considering its an important ep (seventeen and come along with me)#3-look the obsidian jumpsuit wouldve been ok if it was just like. for the scenes in the motorcycle or something like that makes sense. but #not for the entire episode!!! its kinda ugly why did they just keep her in it!!! bubblegum got to change #it works ok for some scenes but they couldve let her change into something else for the rest of the ep #and 5 that are just ugly. theyre just not it. ive tried to like them but i cannot #adventure time #marceline abadeer #the rows are sorted from best to less favorite/worse except from the whatever one

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sydmarch · 1 year

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spent months like I need prescription for my mental health give me prescription please please & now that I have it I'm like hm. do I want to have to take meds, actually

#part of it i think is just that typical anxiety that comes before any life change like s new job or whatever but also like #despite never having TRIED stimulants im familar w them i know people w adhd who are on them i had an idea of what to expect & thats what i #i figured id be getting but shes having me try this non stimulant option first bcus 1 apparently its good for people who also have anxiety #and 2 easier to get w the like Adderall shortages & shit rn #& im like ok i have NEVER heard of this drug before and didn't even know there WERE non stimulant options options.#like im doing all my research TODAY for the first time then pick it up tomorrow?#like me heslth anxiety girl just has to be like ok sure i guess. i had mentally prepared myself for stimulants & thats it!!!#i mean worst case i just try it & see if it works or if i have side effects but like. ugh. & i dont like that i dont like my np LOL like id #probably feel less uncertain about trying something i was previously unfamiliar with if she was someone i liked & trusted more #if i knew there were unfamilar drugs they might recommend to me i probably wouldve started over & found someone new to work with. AGHHH & i #didnt discuss any of this w her bcus it took me a couple hours after our session to think abt it & do my own reading & process my emotions #to really come to thia conclusion. & also i wouldnt have wanted to talk to hwt abt this anyway bcus i dont like her & have not felt at all #like cool w opening up to her beyond the minimum i had to do for the assessment #& my therapist is sick this week so im not gonna get to talk to her tomorrow!@#texticles #anyway i know ive got fellow adhd bitches following me. anyone try guanfacine did you like it or nah

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xiaojaan · 1 year

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#okay #barbie #review time the movie was Great it was FILLED with white woman feminism but whatever it said and did i never really expected all that either #like dhkekd i also waited till end for a part whr i could get emo over something but honestly it never came things were v deep yes but mayb #thats just on me not really relating to womanhood i guess #just only on a superficial level ig #besides that u can just Tell that it was made to cater to white women and it worked very well #one (1) trans barbie is like giving the lgbt some breadcrumbs honestly #it couldve had one or two gay characters like LIKEEKFJNSKSB THAT WOULDVE BEEN LIFE CHANGING LMAO #i also dk if there r a lot of barbies made by mattel that wear traditional clothes of various ethnicities but it wouldve been cool af #if one would be wearing a lehenga just sayin lmao #in the end my point is: that monologue by america ✅️💯 the kens being a representation of how women r treated in real world ✅️💯#outfits and everything else ✅️💯 but besides that? u can just tell its made by white women for white women 🫠#okay idk why this is so long rie made me post this i was eating their brain abt it bdkwlqkd #jays bs

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termagax · 1 year

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i cant post the full of these until tommorow but bweeeeeee isnt he so cuteness

#did this comic relatively fast for me and i like about 50% of it #which. its getting posted tommorow morning so yknow itll have to do #experiencing one of those 'idk how to draw this without it looking bad' 'guess itll just have to look bad :sunglasses:' moments #BUT i think these expressions are cute and theyre more in line with what i want to be doing in general anyways? pushing it in a #direction i feel like ive struggled with before. i like cartoon overbites though i think theyre so adorable. maybe this is just what growin #up on the simpsons does to a motherfucker. anyways #my boyfie. baby style #trying to decide in my head how old i actually want him to be in some of theseeeee #because iirc. again im not going to check. the new official timeline puts him at being 20 #but the way I had the timeline before in my MIND. he wouldve been a little older. not so much but like. 26-28 yk.#and fish wouldve been closer to 20-22 #which idk i think its a little bit different of a dynamic to have 28-20 instead of two 20 year olds. so it would change things #but also i just idk i dont think him being that young works with how they talk about him pre-wasteland in. any of the official stuff #its just because he has terminal old man disease i think but like. idk i feel like even 28 is too young but thats like as far as i feel goo #squishing the junkertown timeline down to #and even then i think. that it breaks ? something else?#ive never done the maths but i think it breaks junkrat. because hes supposed to have been born in like. a more or less fully formed #junkertown? and with jq in charge for like. half of his life.#this part of the timeline doesnt work anyways #it barely works with the official read #theres not really a good way to have my cake (older boyfriend) and it eat too (everything else makes sense in my mind)#🐟

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solcarow · 10 months

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#. hm.. thinking about la chopper ……. mayb he shud look like a capybara #fucked up deer looking human thing whatever creature #solar-talks #i was talking abt this w my sister but like i think it was a really fun choice not to disclose how kuina died in la #like when i first watched his backstory in la i really thought he was going on some revenge quest or something #so watching ep19 was really fucked up actually i remember being real iffy about it but god the Layers #zoro’s thing with fate and not really luck but his acceptance of wtvr outcome he gets is doing some cocomelon shit tio my brain #itd b so neat if they revealed her death in loguetown like Come On having it right beside the kitetsu scene would b such a smart choice #WITH TASHIGI god i hope they give tashigi a little more something #ok now im thinking abt the la changes …#what iv noticed is how they seemed to isolate the eastblue kids from their islands a little more .. not exactly a flaw tho #zoros basically the same but usopp didnt have his oh my god i just realised usopp didnt have his babyguy gang oh my godddd THAT was what was #missing my whole train of thoughts derailed NOOO USOPPS BABYSITTER CHARACTER TRAIT …….i get it they couldnt fit the vegetable kids bc #of the tone but waugh…. primarily hanging out w a bunch of 8yos says so much abt him………. it was cute #anyways back to it yeah they didnt syrup village noticing his absence and the rest of baraties connection w 3ji which honestly i dont #really mind either i think the only ): to me was how they did cocoyashi #lost a bit of it’s depth my making them hostile to nami tbh #its a good thing i watched the anime After la bc i feel like i wouldve been way sadder abt that decision #these arent real complaints btw the la did a reaaallyy great job #if they didnt i really wouldnt be here thinking about this show . in depth . god how did it come to this SKFHDJFJSHF #anywho . they missed some bits of course but oughhh they did baratie really good ..#ill b honest zeff n 3jis backstory is seriously my favorite thing about the la #some absolutely breathtaking execution it really Got Me ..#the all blue speech …. taz skylr yuoure line delivery skills are insane #whats rlly crazy is how when u take away 3ji’s 1 flaw hes fucking unstoppable . why r u favorite character material . explode forever #head in hands its the themes of hunger .. hate it here so bad …..#ack he grows on u like mold . it was the stupid curry filler episode that got me i rewatched a while ago goddd hes so annoyinggggggg #the curry filler ep was cute . i liked it . <- mad about it #ugh spent 2 hrs writing these tags i dont wanna do my psychology essay .. nico robin save me ……. save me nico robin ……………..

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hxartlessmachine · 2 years

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if you'd prefer to lose me than to change how things are, then i definitely deserve better than you & deserve someone who does want me as much as they say they do.

#hxartlessmachine #im still really wtf about this #to think i thought you were my person im meant to be with lol #unforunate you didnt feel the same.#how can you say youd want an ONLINE relationship with me but then say being online often isnt you #like how tf does an online relationship work in your books then #you have to be more available ONLINE for an ONLINE relationship to work like its not that hard #and if its not you to be online more often then why tf did you lead me on when we wouldve had an ONLINE relationship #i lost you once before but now youve lost me and its YOUR fault #youd much rather only deal with real life things than make things work with me #such fucking bullshit #my time was wasted on trying #i cut off fucking other connections i had because i wanted to be serious about you #only for this to happen and you just accept it all ending cuz you dont want to be online more often #actual bullshit if you gave any shit about me and wanted something with me #if you did you wouldve worked to change to make things work #but guess not #im the fool lmao #rant

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voidimp · 12 days

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i wish i had a good explanation for why jules doesnt have an irish name despite being from like 1600s ireland (or whatever the equivalent is in lor) but the reality is his name came first bc he was originally my bloodborne character & all the backstory stuff came later but i also didnt want to change it bc i like how it sounds

i guess the easiest explanation would be that after several hundred years he got tired of having to tell people how to spell/pronounce his name bc the language wasnt as common as it used to be so he just started using a different one... or maybe he just wanted something that didnt stand out so much for the sake of avoiding unwanted attention... but idk if ill stick with either of those

#they both feel a little shitty but unfortunately that IS the reality for some people #its not uncommon for someone with a non-english name to go by a different one when living in an english speaking culture...#which like. sucks. but at least it makes this situation more plausible or whatever #just another part of himself hes lost i suppose. as if he hadnt already lost enough #i have been thinking about what is name wouldve been before going by jules tho. and how he feels about it #i think he probably doesnt share it much. only with a few people #& even then still doesnt expect them to use it except under certain circumstances. like only around other people that know it & maybe also #only if theyre actually speaking irish (or lor equivalent)#like i do think he also likes the name jules so he wouldnt want to NOT go by that either #all that said i might change his last name. idk. i did just kind of pick that at random & its not like it comes up much #so it wouldnt be as big of a deal to me to pick something different

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playingonedchess · 17 days

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lucky this blog only goes back to when id already finished school or id have to go and delete everything

#pretty sure i did actually have a blog when i was at school only it was a different one or something or i didnt post or i already deleted ev #everything #i really cant remember though #not that not being a school kid makes me not cringe or anything thats disproven enough #actually i didnt really make these random personale posts for my own audience then i only made fandom posts i got annoyed no one read #it probably wouldve been good for me though if id thought of it and could bring myself to and it seperate to any other rubbish i had #i did actually write a journal in year 13 which i dont do anymore since i suppose i movd to this #and i probably wasnt self aware enough before then #it wouldve been too embarrassing to even write in a journal let alone the internet #though sometimes this is actually less weirder than a journal cause thats meant to be just you #but as this is technically public i can hide behind stuff like having a personaality #even though i dont really have one #but anyway i think i do get to present stuff more here so i caan change the tone tto suit me #not that the journal was totally neutral but it was meant to be more authentic inside me this is still sort of outside me #aand really you only have a self through interacting with the world and formiing a personality through experiences #that journal wass actually ridiculously pretentious at times though other times it was like my normal real life voice

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muttsona · 6 months

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scot i love you, and you make me glad to be alive

#personal #ok beforeni say anything this song goes sooo fucking hard #anyways i think things are actually starting to be ok #i was kinda nervous for a while but..woah i am Generally Okay #still kinda ahocked abt the fact that i can be Okay #things kinda went to shit in the past week or two butttt i think im getting over it #and maybe it was something that needed to happen for me to be okay #like idk. if all that didnt happen i never wouldve gotten closer with someone that im talking to ecery day now #& like i was feeling like relapsing ecery day just like a week or 2 ago.. and like i Did and i kinda regret ut #but i guess things are also changing bc like. i regret it but iys okay... like jts ok that i relapsed because eceryone messes up #my head feels a lot clearer and i know in like a week im gonna be making a post about how bad i want to die but like.#for now things are good and. i want to document that .#in retrospect #Spotify #💭

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slimeylee · 6 months

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why have these last years fucking sucked ass

#slimey-vents #trigger warning below hi did you drink water today and eat something i hope u did ur so cool and amazing pls get some rest gives u a cookie #please scroll past if uninterested i also dont want u to feel obligated like u have to read n listen to me vent and ramble on abt dumb shit #like 2020 - 2024 . have just been ass .#we're not even halfway into 2024 and it already is just #garbage . like its fucking horrible #i dont see how this year could get . any worse ?? but i wouldnt want to get my hopes up on that itll get better ?#like god what has been happening .#covid came up technoblade got cancer and passed away israel's continuing their mass genocide #and a lot of things have happened in my personal life . such as my mother passing away .#and . its just been so fucking hard ??#i wish i had lasting hope in humanity . but tbh i dont think its ever gonna get any better and that really fucks w me #ive been having suicidal thoughts and ive just been in a very shitty mental state recently #like social media #is honestly the only thing i have to live on #i have honestly boring friends n all my friends dont go to my school . my gf doesnt even go to my school #ive had to switch schools after having a fun time and doing a lot better . the only thing that im holding on by a thread to is social media #all my friends . my fandoms . etc . i talk to through my phone and through here #im so glad to have met everybody that i have on here #im sorry this is getting really long ive started going on a ramble but i just want everyone to know that i love yall /p #i appreciate everybody so much . all my moots and my close friends that ive made not only here but irl as well #and everybody that ive talked to throughout the time we've known each other . i really just want to think that everything will get better #everybody that ive met through my years of social media and school have really changed my life . and idk what i wouldve done #having never met any of them . especially my moots on here that ive grown close to #its just been stressful . but ive strived to get through it all . despite how hard it is #and how desperately i just want to let go from everything #but ending one thing doesnt end any pain it just gives it on to someone else #and i know that im way too pussy to end anything anyways .#but on another note .#please remember that you are amazing . talented . strong . and i appreciate and ily so much . /p

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tony-andonuts · 1 year

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Every day it feels even more like i might have osdd

#is it normal to feel mentally different when switching blogs????#like-#idk how to describe it but #upon starting to use my aesthetic blog again and editing the theme it felt like something shifted #and the way i percieve and internally monologue has slightly changed #like rn i cant even bring myself to swear or think about sex #which is suuuuper ooc for me #it could be autism induced dramatic mood changes tho #idk #im not gonna self id until i have more info but yeah #idk shits weird #shut up tony #also like- what trauma did i go through that wouldve caused osdd if i have it??#because the first traumatic incident i know of was when i was 6 #and i think thats a bit too late for the criteria iirc #eh whatever im able to do what i need to do and it is what it is ig

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youraveragemushroom · 2 years

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♡♡♡♡

#.#im understanding sisyphus a lot better now #or rather just greek irony a lot more #nobody was doing purgatory or hell the way they greeks were #sorry i was thinking of tantalus yeah thats whats happening to me #cause i like cooking i like food #i wanna say maybe to some im actually good at it or something maybe #but i also cant it more than one meal a day if that or else i go to really dark places mentally and feel like shit physically #like its bad and ik i should work on reversing the whole ED situation #but unintentionally or not ive invested too much into this sinking ship to not see it through #its not that bad i swear ik it could be worse and im not encouraging it to worsen #but like is it bad id rather it get worse than i recover?#no yeah thats bad its bad damn oh well its not like its not obvious im like transparent w this shit i bet nobodys said anything tho so its #it cant be that bad cause nobodys said anything #doesnt mean they havent noticed but hey theyre also the same ppl who are happy im marginally less fat and kinda on the right path #like if i hadnt fucked this week up then i wouldve hit 25 probably #i def did hit 25 one day but yeah atm its 20 and if i put in the effort which i hate how hopeful it sounds i know its bad but fuck i cant #care about morality and shit anymore nothing good has come of being moral or healthy or trying to get better #the only thing thats working rn is this so maybe if in a few months i hit that dream number maybe itll make it easier to not kill myself #like sure it wont change everything else wrong but even if im alone at least 40 pounds lighter i wont mind living w myself #like even if it makes no difference to anyone at least maybe i can look in the mirror for longer than a few seconds before starting to cry #i thought there would be more good days before things got bleak but now its like hard to tell myself its worth holding out for the next ones #i dont mean worth in a suicidal way #but like yeah no i cant find reasons to be happy and that should be scary except its been months and im just tired now #i cant believe ive gotten to this level of defeat i didnt think this was achievable outside like a literary context #goodnight and happy v day i guess cheers

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licensedproldier · 4 months

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highlights from the brennan hank interview (aka taking notes on things that i liked or didn't know)

HE STARTED ATTENDING COLLEGE WHEN HE WAS 14?????

immediate jump off topic from hank to ask him about d20 (this happened while fhjy was airing)

"and the greatest project of all, my wonderful family with my wife isabella roland"

bonding over their children

brennan and hank's son both corrected their father's bedtime stories 💀

many elaine lee shoutouts

"his dad met my mom and fell in love" "you did that" "we did that, parent-trapped them"

was pulled out of school in 4th grade for homeschooling because the bullying was so bad....

started a company when they (he and his brother) were fifteen?? called Bootleg Adventures

hank's little awed hiss of "what" to the above piece of information

GOT PART OWNERSHIP OF THE WAYFINDER COMPANY AT 15

"knowledge is something that, when you share it, there's just more. there's no scarcity"

hank staring off into space slightly looking like brennan just blew his mind (we're 11 minutes in)

"we were 14 year old philosophy majors, if you can imagine anything more normal than that"

brennan unable to resist doing fun voices for the people he talks about

he wouldve loved to work at wayfinder full time and said back then hey maybe ill become a famous internet comedian or something and that's how i can help camp. now he's got texts from the staff saying how a bunch of dimension 20 fans have joined and its been a huge boon for them that way 🥺

"it's funny when a really bad plan works. dont make that plan."

"every new community-- is this too sad? no its true" THOSE THINGS ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE

anyway "for every new community i start with the presupposition that someone is going to pick me up and put me in the trash can" 😭

hank sniping him through the duplex door with "[when you do that] you kind of imagine yourself to be the value you're delivering rather than yourself, or that your value is in what you deliver and not who you are" and brennan going 😐 "that's a great point man"

both of them turning to do pained smiles at the camera 😭

"i think the value is in who you are" "that's really sweet i appreciate that" "but i also love that you deliver"

brennan quoting mary oliver

im starting to feel a little called out guys

robert mckee "stories are not about their premises they're about their conclusions"

brennan also staring off into space slightly thinking about what hank said

the REAL college advice brennan is giving is reportedly "put an egg in your ramen" because thats how you stop your eyes from going "matte finish"

shoutout to vanessa's dumplings for keeping this man alive

"i am ozymandias nerd of nerds, gaze upon my banner and despair"

the moment he felt like something changed was walking into C2E2 and seeing that the biggest hanging banner in the convention hall was of fantasy high. or, as brennan put it, "my dumb face"

"my friends moved in with their partners, the apartment i had with them scattered to the wind, the woman i was dating dumped me after three weeks, and i won a bunch of money on Who Wants to Be a Millionare" "wh- what???"

he taught emily, murph, siobhan, and zac how to play dnd 🥺 and was running a home game for lou at the same time

got hired at um, actually because his name was getting around for being a big dork

zac stepped down from troopers and sam liked brennan's character from a previous casting call (tim curry eating pizza) so he brought him in

its very charming the detail with which brennan remembers these important moments in his life

became a full time cast member in the same week he started dating izzy! "hard to beat week gang!"

"they told us they were launching dropout and everyone had to make a show, which, if you're been trying to make a show your whole life, that's like saying 'bad news guys, there's 24 birthday cakes in the break room and everyone has to eat a whole birthday cake'."

brennan was making a document for a market pitch on an actual-play show when he was called into office and THEY pitched HIM the idea of an actual-play show

"i guess i have tumbled through life to end up here ready to do this"

truly like. one of the guys of all time.

"some of the things that didn't make sense about you make more sense now" hank talking indirectly about how amazing he found all the moving parts of mentopolis and now getting to hear about how long and how many time he's done storytelling it makes sense

"yeah its the one skill"

"i wanted to tell stories before i was anything else"

🎉anti-capitalist rant🎉

"people used to say 'is ucb a cult' and i'd say 'in a cult, somebody is making money'"

HIGH FIVE!!!

#brennan lee mulligan #hank green #dropout #dimension 20 #d20 #txt #dropout.tv #i had fun!!!!! yall should watch this

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slutdge · 7 months

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ok so like can i just say even if aaron bushnell was trans (stop fucking making posts about that and get a grip by the way) he died screaming "free palestine" and gave his life to bring attention to this genocide. he didn't want this to be about him, he wanted this to be about palestinians and he took extreme measures to make people unable to suspend their horror about what he did. do you not understand that yall are making him roll in his grave with these speculations. instead of talking about why he ACTUALLY martyred himself, you're saying "actually its cause he was trans, his username on discord was lilyanarkitty sooooo". He went to lengths to make sure his self immolation was documented and would not be buried by the media like the previous person who self immolated for Palestine. He did something so horrific that no one could ignore it and people MUST acknowledge his martyring for Palestine... And all you white trans people can do is fucking transvestigate him cause so many white queers only give a shit about a cause if they can relate to people on a personal level. an ethinic cleasining wouldnt matter to yall if you couldnt make it about queers. "but being queer is criminalized in palestine" ok and you think that justifies murdering children? you think that justifies murdering anyone???? what about palestinian queers? you genuinely all disgust me so much and you should be ashamed of yourselves. back in the day you wouldve watched the genocide of my people and excused it too. grow a heart. you can change your mind and do better today. stop trying to center white trans people in every conversation. I dont know why so many tumblr users have convinced themselves that people can do no wrong and never be criticized solely on the basis of being trans but its gotta stop, i wont tolerate it.

#🔗#free palestine

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