#if i was willing to expose you all to my face i'd do a side-by-side and you'd be shocked/horrified/laughing at my fucking doom-stare

[neverbelessthan]

I was tagged by the beautiful wonderful amazing @sleepystede to make a picrew of myself. Thank you so much for tagging me 🥹 I love these sort of things.

I always get way too invested and then end up torn between realism and silly and spend half an hour trying to decide on like: fangs or no? I went for realism (even though the fangs looked dope), and I do feel like i've captured my current staring-into-the-void state quite effectively 😂

Tagging: @adickaboutspoons, @poetic----nonsense, @jessystardust, @scorpiostarseed, @pumpkinspicepirates, @ameryth74, @daria-meoi, @majesticartax and honestly honestly anyone who sees this and hasn't done it yet cause it's fun and I feel like we could all use some fun ❤️

[botanybulbasaur]

Schneider's family ; The significance of Marian

REVERSE 1999 SPOILERS AHEAD : FOR CHAPTERS 1 AND 2 ! Please tread carefully and make sure you only read about what you're willing to know.

I know we're all still completely in shambles from Chap. 2, but I wanted to make a speculation about Schneider-- and a comment about how well she's written !

Let me start with this: In many pieces of media, viewers, listeners and readers alike are told that a character has people they care for. They're told a character has a lover, a wife, kids, a family, a sister. We're told the same about Schneider: that she has 11 older siblings, and that she works in the mafia to support them.

However, it's very rarely that we're given a name and a face for these supposed loved ones. And even rarer is it that they're written well, not just as a ploy for empathy, but as their own character: Ladies, gentlemen, and esteemed guests: I present to you, Marian.

Marian is one of my favorite characters just as a stand-alone: she's realistic, she's anxious, she clings to Schneider like a lifeline-- but she's brave, too. I'd love to do an in-depth analysis on her another time, but we're here for another reason.

Marian, first of all, shows us what Schneider's family is like. How they were raised, what they believe in, who they depend on. Soft topic, I know, but as someone of Italian lineage, it's very important to me that I point this out: Marian is extremely religious.

Immigrants of every kind tend to be religious. It gives them much more faith than they ever could have: a new lifeline. They managed to make it across such a winding sea? Oh, thank the lord. They haven't been kicked out of the Americas for emigration? Thank you, holy one. There's so many more reasons for this than "they need something they don't have"- maybe the fact that the rendition of god in every religion is said to love everybody, not just those who were born into wealthy families with the bluest eyes and the blondest hair.

When in a moment with no reason, and all different kinds of desperate measures being needed.. Schneider does what her family coaxes her to. She prays.

(I can't find a screenshot, but please refer to the iconic "I didn't know you prayed" scene, and the screenshot directly below this sentence.)

I also want to point out a large difference between Schneider and her family: Schneider's perspective on a 'god' differs so, so much from her family's.

She looks to whoever may be above, in her world, scornfully-- at least, in the present day. In her past, there is a particularly impactful line I want to debunk.

"The god there ... loves the world." Schnider's family seems to believe that god was the one guiding them, the one who will forgive them-- Schneider believed that it was a whole different entity. This kid believes that the god in Sicily, whoever they may be, does not love the world-- and mio dio, if that's not fucked up, I don't know what is.

And, when Schneider comes to America and sees that shit isn't as it's cut off to be, she's resentful of whoever this god may be. She gives a pray as her last bet-- what her family wants.

And it's not that she doesn't believe in this god-- no. She just doesn't believe they love her.

"Finally forgive me" -- Finally being the key word here. She's lived all her life never being treated to mercy or being 'forgiven for her sins' -- and at her most fragile, exposed moment, she relents to what her family has taught her. To what she truly believes-- to Sicily, to Marian, her sorella. Maybe even all 11 sorelle and her parents.

And, again, they're different at face value. Marian is calm, kind. She dresses modest and has her hair grown out: she's timid, too, not befitting of a mafia boss. She's different from her younger sister.. but she's still important. She shows us another side of Schneider: and, more importantly, she shows us what-- no, who Schneider is fighting for.

Marian provides us with extremely beneficial background context of where Schneider comes from-- and, in that process, gives many of us someone to empathize with. Yes, I too know somebody at least a little like her. You do too, likely.

Maybe, you're even like Schneider-- maybe she's someone you'd aim to protect.

,,aaand that's the little lore rant. Whew! Now to study for my math finals. I hope you have a good day :)

[laufire]

if you're willing, would you mind sharing more of your thoughts on mia/jason? B/c i personally can't see mia wanting anything to do with him (based on the green arrow arc), but i am open to having my mind changed if you have a case for it

sure!

I'll preface this by saying that although I ship them, I don't have A Plot for them yet, the way I do for other of my jason rareships, and thus I have yet to ~envision how I'd personally have it go down. but these are my thoughts on them at the moment.

first of all... the green arrow arc isn't this HORRIBLE, TEERRIBLE, AWFUL thing that happened to mia, or this irredeemable evil jason did, and I'm always baffled whenever I see it talked about that way. like. mia is not a normie kid living her normie life in a slice-of-life teen story. she's a freaking SUPERHERO that risks her freaking LIFE on the regular. jason is this dude one, maybe two years older than her that didn't even want to seriously harm her.

she obviously wouldn't walk out of that encounter with kind thoughts about him. he was an asshole! he wanted to scare her! (and he had a GOAL re: sidekicks and the danger they're exposed to and a point to prove about it, which I always feel is handwaved). but like, jason is not a static character, or not doomed to be at least. he'd have to sincerely apologise, saying that yeah, he was a shit, that was a shitty thing to do, he was projecting some stuff on hers and ollie's relationship that wasn't even true and he's ready to compensate her for it. and again, these are... not normal people. like sorry but I just don't think what jason did in that arc garrants an eternity of hate and enmity to them.

and obviously not hating him forever/seeing his actions for what they were and not more/being able to forgive them in the face of a sincere apology and amendments isn't the same as actually seeing jason as a romantic prospect! but it's a first step into a less than hostile dynamic.

and within that context, I could see mia thinking back on some of the things jason said in their confrontation, about them being alike (also, winick wasn't been subtle in his parallels here, but I've seen people being VERY obtuse about this part of the scene añsldkf). I haven't read mia in a team context/with lots of peers her age yet, but even if she's more likely to find people with commonalities/messed up childhoods among child heroes, common ground is still something to be curious about, to bond over. and such very specific common ground would be something I think she'd value.

I haven't reached that arc yet, but I know mia has also killed, once, in circumstances where she thought she had no other choice. and she doesn't want to do that anymore, she wants to be a hero and stay on the path and raise above. those are things that I find interesting in conjunction to a dynamic with jason, in particular. the way it would lead both to conflict and to a different level of understanding.

also, there's always this sense in posts against these ships where I feel like... mia doesn't have to be perfect. she can be messy and make questionable romantic choices and maybe they pan out or maybe they don't, but it could be something actually fun to explore with her character, to see her in a context like that. less in the "bad boy attraction" sense because really, past aesthetics jason does not fit that role in a romantic sense, but as in getting to explore other sides of her character through a romantic relationship, especially as a character with both a history of sexual abuse and with HIV. and I'm sure there are other candidates for that, both canon and fanon, but it just happens that the first thing I read with her was the Jason Being A Menace arc and that I looooove a meet ugly, especially if it comes with a "recognition through the other (derogatory)" bonus.

anyway. I'm not trying to convince anyone because I'm perfectly happy in my rowboat-sized ships and it's nothing to me if other people disagree or judge me for them lol, but thanks for the chance to talk about them a bit!

[lonleydweller]

yandere alphabet for chop top please??

🥀Yandere Alphabet-Chop Top Sawyer🥀

THANK YOU THANK YOU PATTING YOU ON THE HEAD ANON HE'S BEEN INFECTING MY HEAD ALONG WITH NUBBINS

!Warnings!: yandere trope, spoilers for Tcm2, stalking, obsessive behavior, violence, murder, manipulation, cannibalism, sadism, mentioned violence towards darling, forced affection, threats

Yanderes are OK in fiction. They should stay fiction. They are not example of healthy relationships. These behaviors are NOT okay in real life. This is for entertainment purposes

-----------------------------------------------------

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

He's very intense when it comes to showing affection. Always all over you, grabbing at you, always needing to touch you in some way. The very few times when he's not he's pacing around rambling about how much he loves and admires you. Or he's shoving an item he thinks you'll like in your face, not bothering to clean the bloodstains of the poor victim he snagged it from off.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

He's a cannibal. His whole family are cannibals too. Need I say more? Blood, guts, bones, all of it! He's more than happy to kill someone for you! More than happy to try and feed them to you too.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

He'll keep you cooped up in his room, giving you basic nessecities. Any cries and protests from you make will be met with smart-ass comments, jokes, or him just giggling at you and making mocking gestures.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Yep, he'll force feed you food that's almost guaranteed to contain human parts, forced acts of affection like hugging and small pecks, cuddling if he feels bold enough to do so.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

He's pretty open, often unintentionally, he just rants about whatever is on his mind, sometimes about you, sometimes stories about his brother, existential crises, or sometimes just honest to god nonsense. He isn't one to think before he talks.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

He finds it pretty funny. You think that's gonna actually going to get you anywhere? Mocking your attempts, treating it like a game.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

It's a game to him. A challenge. Don't think that means he'll go easy on you. He's still trying to keep you from escaping, he'll slash at your legs, your back, trying to incapacitate you. He sees it as a game because he's confident he'll win. Until he's not. That's when he drops his joking attitude.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

The whole thing is hell, but there's a few moments that will certainly be burned into your brain. One being the burning feeling on your skin as you were so close to escaping, only for him to wrangle you back into their home.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He's thought of many things. Many little delusions bouncing around in his head. The only thing he has set in stone in his mind is simply having you by his side, hopefully as somepoint willingly.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Very jealous. He'll lash out. Incoming mail! A swift sledgehammer to the person's head!

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

He acts like an excited rabid dog. Raving on about how much he adores you, how you're his fave. He likes dragging you around the tunnels of the abandoned amusement park too, showing you off to his brothers. Seeing you as something worthy to brag about.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

I'd barely call it courting. An approach, well, it sure is one. He's very blunt and upfront, just kidnapping you pretty quickly. However if he were to try and court you beforehand it would involve a lot of gift giving.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Not really. Besides that facts he's more affectionate.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

He'll do whatever he knows scares or upsets you, wether it be shouting, showing you a horrific sight, injuring you, taking away what little privileges you may have earned. It also depends on what you did as well.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Essentially all of them. You can earn maybe a few small ones, but major ones are gone.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

His patience can switch on a dime, depends on his mood, the day, and what buttons you press. So I'd say he has a mild amount of patience.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

If you leave and or escape he's searching everywhere for you, hounding his brothers about it too. Even if it takes him years. If you die.. he won't move on. He won't accept it. He'll keep your corpse and talk to it. Just like he did with Nubbin's body.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

The most he'll ever feel is a tiny bit of pity, but guilt? No and no. He'll never willingly let you go.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

A mix of his childhood and upbringing in the sawyer household along with curiosity.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

He finds it cute in a sick way. Using it as an excuse to get pyshcially close to you, under the guise of trying to comfort you. That's what good partners do right? Comfort each other?

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Well, cannibalism.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

There's none I can particularly think of. He's practically glued to your side. Only time you could really sneak off is when he's off killing or having a spat with his brothers.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Yep, especially if you're trying to escape.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

He worships the ground you walk on. He'd go great lengths to keep you. He dosen't care as much for winning you over, but he definitely would still make an effort to do so.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

At most maybe a couple months.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Unintentionally, most likely.

-----------------------------------------------------

[fluffypandabun]

Hiya ! If you're still doing the prompt list asks, could you maybe do 12 and 37 with lee!Eddie and ler!Wally? You absolutely don't have to if you don't want to !! Just a suggestion <3

Have a lovely day/night, you amazing person !!!

"Uh.....Whoops?" Is all Eddie could think of to say as he stood there ackwardly with a freshly bruised head and a paint splattered shirt from where he'd, ever the accident prone, had tripped and crashed into Wallys little table that held all his freshly mixed paint colors, spalttering both him and the painter with bright shades of orange and pink paint.

Wally stared at his now paint splattered shirt, mouth slightly agape, before he lifted his head up and narrowed his eyes at the mailman. Eddie was relieved to see there was no real anger in the puppets eyes, it had been a genuine accident after all, but there was something....else in his gaze that made him nervous.

Wally slowly standing up from his chair, never breaking eye contact, certianly didnt help either. Even tho the yellow puppet was smaller then him by quite a bit, it didnt stop Eddie from letting out a squeak and nervously taking a few steps back away from the painter.

"H-Hold on Wally, I-I can explain-!" Wallys expression morphed into that of his signatue cat-like smile, he chuckled.

"Run." Eddie didnt need to be told twice, instantly scrambiling to run for the hills and hopefully find one of the other neighbors who would be willing to hide him and save him from Wallys wrath.

He didnt get very far however, tripping over his own two feet in his haste to run away, he ended up tumbling to the soft grassy ground. Landing face first with a groan.

There was a slight gasp nearby him, one Eddie assumed came from Wally.

"Eddie! Are you alright?" Yep that was him.

"Yeah!" Eddie said, voice muffled by the ground. "Im good!"

....Wait a minutie wasnt he just trying to run away from-!

"Oh good! That means I can do this!"

Before the mailman even had time to defend himself and wiggle away, he felt a small weight settle on the middle of his back. Wiggiling fingers desended upon his exposed sides, skittering up and down at a quick pace.

"You know Eddie, I thought I'd have to actually chase u around for a bit. But you make it too easy~"

The mailman instantly burst into loud giggly laughter, legs kicking behind him and he desperatly tried to reach up to grab at Wallys hands.

"Eheheheee! Wally nohohoho!"

"Wally Yes~" The puppet sing songed, switching tactics to gently kneading the soft plush of the mailmans sides.

"You brought this onto yourself Eddie, should have been watching where you were going~"

Eddie snorted, desperatly trying to twist his body around in hopes of grabbing ahold of the smaller puppet.

"Y-Yohohohu were distracting mehehehehe!" If Wally had eyebrows he would have raised one. "Oh? And now your blaming me? After spilling all my good paint that I slaved hours of the day mixing to get just right?" He tsk'd, shaking his head.

"For shame Eds"

If Eddie could roll his eyes at the moment he would have. "You are sohohohoho dramatihihihic!"

Wally let out a scandalized gasp. "Dramatic? Me? Dramatic?" the painter narrowed his eyes playfully, although the other puppet couldnt see it.

"Oh I'll show you dramatic~"

Eddies eyes widdened at the puppets tone, even more so when he heard him take in a sudden deep gasp of air. "W-Wait! Wahihihihit! Wall-EEHEHEHEH!" The mailman was cut off by his own shriek of hysterical laughter as Wally suddenly leaned down to blow a raspberry right in the center of Eddies back, he even had the auadcaity to blow another one right afterwards.

After holding himself back in fear of accidentally hurting his smaller friend, Eddie finally gave in and bucked violently, turning himself fully around and onto his back. Finally managing to grab onto Wallys wrists, gasping for breath as he tried to control his lingering giggles.

Wally, who now sat a top Eddies stomach, looked down as his red-faced friend. He was wearing Eddies signature hat, which had gone flying off him sometime during his squirming, it fit oddly on the puppets swirled hair. He giggled.

"How was that for dramatic huh~?"

Eddie groaned, letting go of Wallys wrists in favor of drapping an arm across his face.

"Ugh you are so mehehehan."

Wally chuckled. "Shouldnt have knocked over my paint" he poked the mailman in the belly, causing him to jump and squeak.

"...You arent actually mad about that are you?" Eddie asked after a moment, a hint of anxiety creeping into his voice. Wallys eyes widdened.

"What? Oh no Eddie of course not, it was an accident" He gave the mailman a gentle smile, before it morphed into a smirk as he poked him in the nose.

"Though if you really do wanna make it up to me, which you dont have too but knowing you youre gonna want to, you can help me mix up some more paint. Deal?"

Eddie took his arm off his face to give the painter a smile. "Deal.....after I do this."

"Do what- woooah-! W-Wait Eddihihihihie! Nohohoho!"

[alatismeni-theitsa]

Hi Ive been reading your blog (is it called a blog I'm not sure anyway) for a while now and I have to just say well Thank You. I've learned so much about Greek Culture and Greek Mythology from you then from a lot of other (so called) Western experts.

I relate quite a bit to how you feel about the misrepresentation and disrespect that Greek culture and specifically mythology and folklore have faced. I myself have experienced it although no where nearly as much as you have.

I'm a Malaysian specifically a Malaysian Chinese diaspora so I didn't know much about my culture and traditions. But when learning about Greek Mythology it ignited an interest in me to learn about cultures, traditions and folklore from around the world including my own. Which lead to me stumbling upon some of the more unflattering takes on Chinese Mythology and it's figures. The Netflix Journey to The West basically whitewashed and changed the ideas, storylines, and culturally significant aspects of a variety of different characters and the book and folklore as a whole which infuriates me especially since Journey To The West is one of the most important literary works in Chinese culture and folklore. Which I also grew up learning about.

I'm a Christian although I feel no connection or care for the religion at all I only follow it or at least pretend I do because of my parents. I respect any who choose to follow it and the religion itself. But it isn't what I choose to follow.

I feel more of a connection and understanding with the old Greek religion and more and Ive been praying to the Olympians and other ancient Greek deities for a while now. I've been trying to approach it the same way I'd like a foreigner to approach my own culture and traditions and religion. I've no qualms with them following traditional Chinese deities as long as they're respectful and willing to learn.

I've been approaching Hellenistic Polytheism with that view and mindset in mind. And Im grateful to learn from your blog especially since you're Greek and I want to be respectful to your culture and traditions and since you grew up with and are from the culture itself have a much better understanding of it than most of the self dubbed experts who aren't from the culture itself and have no interest in respecting it or learning about it.

Your blog has helped me clear up my existing misconceptions and misunderstandings about Greek mythology and helped me learn how to be respectful of your culture while I practice the religion and learn more about it. And to avoid upsetting anyone.

In conclusion thank you and I hope you don't mind me learning about your culture and practice the religion.

Hello! Thank you for your patience as I took a while to get to this message. For asks, please know that I'm not ignoring you. I'm just drowning in errands and have minimal energy all the time (chronic illnesses are a bitch)

I appreciate this message so much and each time I see it in my inbox it brings me joy. You can see in my FAQ section that I, like the overwhelming majority of Greeks, take no issue with foreigners engaging in our culture and following our ancient religion.

My tag #ancient Greek religion and #greek tradition may provide you with more information on how the gods were and are viewed, and the continuation of ancient customs and religious views to this day.

It makes me so happy that someone from the other side of the world took an interest in my culture and they're trying their best to be respectful. Bonus points if the person is familiar with this type of disrespect and they are with us in this fight 😄 I didn't know about all the changes in the Journey to the West and I'm grateful to see the Chinese perspective (which I didn't have the chance to be exposed to, so far).

"I'm a Christian although I feel no connection or care for the religion at all I only follow it or at least pretend I do because of my parents." That's at least 50% of the Greeks and we would also add "we go to the afterparties of religious festivals because of the FOOD" 😂 (and the music, and the dance. We know how to partyyy)

Oh, one small thing! It might just be a random typo, but I see this all the time from different people, so it's worth clarifying that it's "Hellenic polytheism" and not "Hellenistic Polytheism". "Hellenistic" describes one of the eras of Greek history, while "Hellenic" is the Greek word for "Greek" and it's a fit term to describe the polytheism.

May you be well, and I'm here if you have any questions!

[cartyrs]

How do you feel as a CielDoll shipper with recent chapters

this just reminded me that a new chapter is out and i just read it and i'm in the brain dimension. throwing this ask under a readmore bc it got long but it basically just sums up my opinions on the series as a whole rn:

my feelings on kuroshit have been complicated the past few years ngl! more than anything i'm very frustrated with how the story's been paced since the twin reveal, and i've found it very hard to stay engaged as a fan with how slow things are progressing. but that's also not what you asked so i won't rant about that LOL

I have very mixed feelings on this current arc - it's what finally got me back into reading bc DOLL! MY FAVORITE CHARACTER EVER! IS HERE AND I WAS RIGHT THAT SHE'D BE RELEVANT AGAIN!!! I'd really, really like it if Doll lives past this arc and is able to confront Ciel again. I think I might actually drop the series entirely if she dies here because it feels very pointless to me after all these years to bring her back if her whole point was just to [207 spoilers]. I'm really interested to see Ciel's reaction to her rebirth, esp if after coming clean about his true identity that he's able to be honest about the guilt he harbors over killing her. (SINCE YANA PUT DOLL AND JOKER IN THE SAME PANEL AS MADAM RED, CIELS PARENTS, AND R!CIEL IN CH 100, OVER 70 CHAPTERS AFTER NOAHS CIRCUS, ID GO CRAZY IF IT DIDNT MEAN ANYTHING)

I've always seen Doll as being one of if not the most significant character into understanding Ciel - his sympathy for her in Noah's Arc shows that despite how emphatic he is that he's forgone his soul, he does still care about people underneath it all. I'm pretty sure Yana's even said that if circumstances had been different (plot wise and also wealth wise), they could have been really good friends. I think Doll as a foil for Ciel reveals a lot about him - the biggest being her double-identity and reveal, as well as her playful, childish side vs. her cold, killing side (which even then, Doll doesn't want to kill - she just has to. I think deep down, Ciel is the same way). Same with Doll discovering Ciel's brand and having that empathetic moment with him over it, they don't go too deeply on it but Doll's backstory prior to living on the street is that she was abused by her parents and they scarred her face. She knows better than anyone else in the story what that permanent mark of abuse means for Ciel, and that's why she's so sorry she accidentally exposed his brand.

I've never shipped Doll/Ciel in a "canon" sense (like it just wouldn't make that much sense post-doll's "death", she despises him for killing her family, and after knowing what the circus did, she's nothing but a child kidnapper to him, criminal scum that's not worth anything). Their dynamic to me is so much about the "what if things had gone differently?" - which I also apply to Ciel's other friendships, particularly with Soma, Lizzy, and Alois (though season 2 is it's whole own discussion LOL). So much of Ciel's characater arc is about how he was willing to throw his own life and soul away thinking he had nothing after his parent's and r!ciel's deaths, as well as his own disgrace, but kuroshitsuji has shown us time and time again that there are people who deeply love and care about ciel, and if things had been different, if he hadn't sold his soul to the literal devil, he could have lived for them. i love Doll for him in this regard, because she's someone who doesn't know what happened to him. I think a big crux to Ciel's relationship with Lizzy (ignoring the incest aspect because of the period accuracy, but also because of the incest aspect I obviously do not ship them in a romantic sense) is that she knows more than most people about what happened to Ciel and his family, and that humiliates him. Pity and vulnerability humiliate him. This is a huge reason why he can't be honest with Lizzy about what happened - he doesn't want her pity, it only makes his reality that much worse. When he meets Doll, she's a stranger. And despite knowing nothing about him, she worms her way in and tries at every angle to befriend him. Also, given that his betrothal to Lizzy was by force (esp with how he steals her actual fiancees identity lol), I think if Ciel had been able to choose his own partner, he might have chosen someone like Doll.

ANYWAY - that's why I'll be really disappointed if they don't reunite at some point. I have some vague hope, since this is the last of the servant's arcs, maybe we'll get back to Ciel soon and Doll will get the confrontation she deserves. I actually really wasn't expecting [207 spoiler], that changes a lot for the character dynamics in this arc. I unfortunately haven't been a huge fan of Doll's actions in this arc, it feels horrifically out of character for me to believe that after her moral values are laid explicitly clear in circus arc (she feels guilty for kidnapping children and doesnt want to do it, but fears her older siblings retribution and fears Kelvin and feels an obligation to keep her family safe above all else), that she'd be willing to both make connections with the children at this orphanage as well as let them be used to keep her body alive... for what? To kill Ciel? Obviously she was brought back by Undertaker, but I doubt that Undertaker's true intentions are to kill Ciel, given how important the Phantomhives are to him (I think he's probably way more after Sebastian, but that's another thing entirely). So, why did Undertaker bring her back at all? Why is it Snake and Finny that find her, and not Ciel? Her personality once Snake and Finny discover the truth too is just all over the place, I don't particularly buy it.

I've felt that Yana's writing has seemed rushed and lazy since the twin reveal, whether it's her shifting her focus onto TWST, or that she's just trying to wrap up the series as fast as she can, while also still attempting to churn out monthly chapters (if you compare recent kuroshit volumes to old ones, old volumes had maybe 4-5 chapters, while new ones fit about 10 chapters at the same pagecount, so it's also waaay shorter chapters each month that don't quite move the story along). It's obvious to me that now that R!Ciel is out of the bag, the servant chapters have been a way for Yana to finally write plotpoints that she's had on the backburner since early on in the series (Meyrin, Bard, and Snake's backstories) - but IMO, terribly integrated. Finnys backstory in witch-arc is still some of my favorite parts of the series - because the arc itself is incredibly written, and Finny being highlighted fit in so well. It feels like with these mini arcs that Yana's just like oh shit what kind of plot should X servant's backstory come up in, and none of the newer plots/characters have felt deserved (i.e. the maids in meyrin/ran mao's story). Same thing goes for the characters in this arc, the children dressed like the phantomhive servants are just so weird and out of place to me. Why is this a thing??? An orphanage dedicated to making children act like ciel and sebastian and others and then sacrificing them as blood for Doll????? Why???? The whole scenario is weak and far-fetched IMO, I would've rather Doll's reentry (as well as Meyrin/Bard/Snakes backstories) been introduced in a more natural way, it genuinely feels like Yana is throwing all her cards on the table to wrap the series up without any loose strings.

SO, I don't have like, a TON of hope for Ciel and Doll's story to be wrapped up in a way I personally find satisfying for their character arcs, I'm vaguely hopeful that they'll at least just meet again, but as you can read I've had very mixed feelings on the direction that the series has taken for years now (servant backstory arc has been going on since MARCH 2019 LMAO..), so I'm sorry that your very simple question turned into a rant HAHA but this is like, the crux of my relationship with Kuroshitsuji atm.

Kuroshit has had its fair share of problems, many of which I'll be the first person to go out of my way to critique. I've been able to rationalize being a fan by touting just how good the manga's story is. Nowadays, really not so sure I can stand by that opinion! However, Doll's also like... is The character of all time for me. I've even been contemplating getting her tattooed lately LOL. So, regardless of the direction the series takes, even if it just absolutely tanks, she'll always remain incredibly special to me, as will Ciel and all the characters I've loved over the years.

[anyon-else]

My Struggling Form, My Willing Soul (The Red Room pt.7) | Sakura is adamant that you stay in the compound permanently, and you're trying to think of any reason why that's a bad idea. You don't expect Kakashi to be the one who convinces you to stay. (Marvel AU) – spotify playlist | read on ao3

Pairings | Kakashi Hatake x Black Widow!Reader + Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha, Naturo Uzumaki, Kakashi's Ninken

Warnings | fem!reader, hurt/comfort, fluff, mentions of torture, mentions of abuse

Word count | 6.7k

(previous chapter) | (next chapter) | (series masterlist)

"I don't get it. I slept in the woods for three weeks, completely exposed and relying on a near-stranger to watch my back. And in all that time, I barely had any nightmares after the fourth day. I slept better than I have in years. And then I come here, where it's arguably safer, and I've had one every night. How does that make any sense?"

While Pakkun was giving you what appeared to be his full attention, a huff was his only response to your rambling.

It had been a week since Kakashi left to go to the compound, leaving you with an ample supply of instant ramen and a pack of eight dogs to care for. For the most part, looking after them had given you enough to do that you'd avoided being completely alone with your thoughts. However, since you'd been staying at Kakashi's house, you'd woken up at least once every night drenched in sweat and shaking from phantom pains. Each dream was different, but they all involved the same thing. Pain, either inflicted by others onto you, or you onto others.

"What do you think, hm? Got any wise advice for me?"

Pakkun took in a large breath, then let it out in a long, drawn-out sigh. You'd been reading a book from Kakashi's Icha-Icha collection, and the pug had settled for a nap on top of you. He looked irritated that your one-sided conversation was preventing that.

"You look grumpy, but you're very clingy."

Pakkun grumbled, rolling onto his side and settling in for his nap now that your conversation had run its course.

"You're lucky my phone doesn't have a camera. I'd be taking so many pictures of you right now."

Kakashi had given you a burner phone before he left. Sakura had the number, but she rarely got the opportunity to use it with so many SHIELD agents crawling around the compound. Instead, it was Kakashi who generally contacted you, though it was with the same update day after day: no progress.

While you appreciated his effort to keep you updated, he generally texted you late at night after the doctors had finished working. Every night, you stayed up for his update, received it, and then went to sleep.

It was likely this pattern that made Sakura the main subject of most of your nightmares. In some, Kabuto forced the two of you to fight. In reality, you knew that you would've allowed her to win, but this dream-version of you was ruthless. Your movements were robotic, and your expression was cold and stoic as you watched the life drain from Sakura's eyes.

Orochimaru was always there. He watched with a wicked smile on his face each time you killed Sakura. And when you knelt at his feet, waiting for new orders, Sakura was already on her feet again. Then the cycle would repeat.

In other nightmares, Sakura was in the compound. She was with Kakashi and Sasuke and Naruto and she was happy. Then Orochimaru made her watch as he ordered his widows to kill each one of them in front of her. All you could do was look helplessly at the scene, trapped in some subconscious cage and unable to reach her. Unable to help any of them.

Each time you had a nightmare, you were woken up to a wet nose pressed against your cheek. Most nights, it was Akino who would wake you and curl up against your side. Other nights, you woke to Bull panting in your ear and Pakkun grumbling as he settled on your chest.

They seemed used to waking their companions from nightmares. Almost as if they had a routine response to it.

"Does Kakashi get them too?" you asked Pakkun one night. He gave you the same disgruntled look as always. "I'm sure he does. Probably hard not to when your kid is kidnapped."

The days were idle, but you sometimes wondered if you would be happy living like this. There was no larger purpose to it. No goal but to keep the dogs and yourself alive. But you also felt at peace knowing that you were caring for other living beings. You saw why so many people chose it.

It also gave you an excuse to indulge in Kakashi's sizable backyard. When you were in the Red Room, being outside was a luxury that you were only able to indulge in on missions. Having constant access to fresh air felt like a dream.

"C'mon," you called to the dogs, "outside, let's go."

All eight rushed through the door when you opened it, jumping over one another in their haste to race around the yard. Only Pakkun seemed content to sit at your side and rest his head against your thigh.

After a while, Bull wandered towards you and rested his head in your lap, looking up at you expectantly.

"Thirsty?" you asked the bulldog. "Hold on, big guy. I'll be right back."

"Y/N!"

The familiar call of your name made both you and Bull turn towards the source. Bull was quicker to react than you, his thirst forgotten. It took you a moment to start moving so that you could see past the gate.

The voice came from the opposite side of the gate. Pakkun jumped up when he saw Kakashi unlatching it, and he was quickly followed by the rest of the pack. You released a shaky breath when you saw Sakura looking over his shoulder, waving wildly at you with a grin.

You sidestepped Kakashi and the pack of dogs competing for his attention and met Sakura in a tight hug. Something loosened in your chest that you hadn't realized bound itself up. She was safe.

"I missed you," she said happily, the words muffled in your shoulder. You laughed and squeezed her tighter.

"I missed you too," you laughed, pushing her away enough that you could give her a once-over. There weren't any physical changes that you could see, and she seemed relatively unharmed, but that didn't stop fear from growing from its root in your stomach. Why were they here?

"Looks like the dogs are still alive," Sasuke grumbled behind Sakura, followed closely by Naruto. He seemed surprised that all of the dogs were unharmed and presumably well-fed in your hands.

"Of course they are," Sakura shot back, and you noted the guilt that crossed Sasuke's face when he met her icy glare.

Once they had given Kakashi a thorough greeting, Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto were given an equally enthused welcome by the pack. They switched between the three with wagging tails, and the kids seemed just as happy to reciprocate. Even Sasuke had a fond smile on his face as he rubbed behind Bull's ears.

"Thank you for looking after them," Kakashi said, taking up Sakura's empty space next to you. The two of you watched the dogs pile on top of Naruto until the boy could barely be seen, but you could hear his laughter from underneath. "I hope they weren't too much of a handful."

"They were good. It was nice," you added as an afterthought. "I didn't realize you were all coming here."

"We sometimes come when we want a break," Kakashi shrugged, "I figured they could use it."

It only took a moment for you to break out of the domestic fantasy that you'd been living in for the past week.

"Did something change?"

Sakura seemed normal. She was moving around fine, and nothing looked out of the ordinary. But yesterday, the update had been the same. No progress.

"The doctors couldn't find anything," Kakashi sighed, "if there had been anything in her system to begin with, they think it probably passed after it had been deactivated. They're guessing that it was some form of the chemical agent that was mentioned in HYDRA's files, but since we're missing so many years of information, they can't know for sure.

"The good news is, since the doctors think that it was a one-time use, we probably have nothing to worry about. The only thing they want us to do is keep an eye on her."

"If there had been anything?" you repeated. That implied the possibility that there hadn't been anything wrong to begin with.

"SHIELD sent a psychiatrist to talk to Sakura, and I told him that Sasuke was the one who found her. He raised the possibility that, since this has been a time of high-stress, Sasuke could have been exaggerating how bad things really were. He suggested that Sakura was just having a psychological episode when she attacked, and that Sasuke misinterpreted it as mind control."

"You've got to be kidding me," you scoffed. When you glanced at Kakashi, you expected to see the same anger that you felt at this assumption, but all you saw was guilt. He wasn't meeting your eyes. "You're not serious."

"I'm not saying that there was nothing wrong–"

"No," you held a hand up, silencing him immediately, "I don't want to hear it. I know what happened. I've told you dozens of times. It wasn't some episode. It was Orochimaru looking at me that night, not Sakura."

"I know you believe that," Kakashi muttered. He winced at his own choice of words, "but you're not exactly...in a good state of mind right now. You've been seeing things for weeks. You attacked me because you couldn't remember that you'd escaped the Red Room and you thought I was an enemy. I'm just saying that there's a possibility that...that Sakura was just having a nightmare and thought the same thing about you. Those kinds of responses to trauma aren't uncommon."

That couldn't be true. That night...it hadn't felt like any of your other panic attacks, and it hadn't felt like a hallucination.

"I know what I saw. I'm...I am not crazy, Kakashi."

"I never said that."

You needed to think. You almost wished you could lock yourself away and pretend that you were still in the Red Room. Things hadn't been pleasant, but they had been simple.

You didn't spare a glance at Sakura as you strode inside, though you felt her eyes on your back. You felt all of them watching you as you retreated back inside.

Anger and guilt fought furiously in your mind, and nausea swirled in your stomach at Kakashi's words.

There had to be some other explanation. You would never forget the look in Sakura's eyes when she wrapped her fingers around your throat. You'd never seen such pure hatred on her face before.

Kakashi and the others had probably been discussing this. They likely came to the mutual conclusion that you were out of your mind and unable to give a proper account of that night.

It made sense. You were an outsider. Even to Sakura, you were a companion that she'd been forced to hold onto rather than someone she chose. But now she had her family back. Kakashi probably told them everything that happened during the mission, from what you'd found about your parents to your episode only four days into the three weeks that you were away.

In their eyes, you were the basket-case who wasted a month of their time because you weren't in control of your own mind. You'd taken their teacher away for nothing, leaving Sasuke and Naruto to try and help Sakura heal without him. And if what they thought was true, it had all been for nothing.

Logically, it should've been a good thing. If what Kakashi told you was correct, it meant that Sakura hadn't been in any danger to begin with. But you couldn't help the dread that kept you huddled on your bed in the spare room, curled into yourself as you replayed Sakura's attack over and over again. This was your life now. Without Orochimaru, you were breaking apart and dragging the others down with you.

You heard someone enter the house a while later, and you weren't surprised to hear Sakura knocking at your door with a quiet request for entrance. She sounded nervous, and knew Kakashi probably told her why you were upset, if he hadn't out right requested that she come talk to you.

"Come in," you sighed, hoping she wouldn't notice how anxious you were.

"I'm sorry," was the first thing she said. You winced; why did you need an apology from her, of all people? None of this was her fault. And if you could just stop being so selfish and worrying only about yourself, she wouldn't have to worry about you either.

"Why?" you forced a small smile, but it only made her frown deeper, "you don't need to be sorry, Sakura. You didn't do anything wrong."

She nodded, but didn't look any more convinced than she had when she walked in.

"I just...I wish I could remember what happened that night. Then maybe I could help us find answers."

That burden shouldn't have been hers to bear. This was your responsibility, and you failed.

"Don't be mad at Kakashi-sensei," she said quietly, eyes cast downwards at where your hands were gripping the sheets. You released the white fabric and locked your fingers together, "he's just trying to make sense of this. We all are."

I have made sense of it, you wanted to tell her, I know Orochimaru. I know that this is something he would do.

But you weren't so sure now. You had been questioning what was real and what was just a product of your panic for weeks now.

You were supposed to be strong for her. She was the one who needed your support, not the other way around. When Kakashi hadn't been there, you'd taken care of her. That wouldn't change just because you were unable to gain proper control over your mind.

"I know," you said, attempting another reassuring smile. This one seemed to work a bit better than the last, as she returned it and let some of the tension drain from her shoulders, "I'm just happy you're safe."

"I'm happy you're safe too," she said with a watery laugh, "and Kakashi-sensei and I were talking. He agreed that, if you'd like to, you should stay here for a while."

Your immediate instinct was to reject this offer on the same grounds as you had the last time, but you supposed that Ino had given you some leverage by making it appear that you were dead. Assuming her ruse had worked, the main issue keeping you from accepting Sakura's offer would be...

"Sasuke and Naruto agreed too," she added. You raised a brow at her, unconvinced that Sasuke had been as willing as she was making it sound. She winced, "it did take some convincing."

"I don't know, Sakura," you murmured. While the thought of what you would do after Sakura was safe had crossed your mind, you always pushed it off as a secondary problem. And while you weren't convinced that Sakura was safe, from what Kakashi had told you, you weren't needed anymore, "I don't think I'd fit in well here."

"Of course you would!" Sakura waved a hand, pushing the thought away. "He won't admit it, but Kakashi-sensei likes you. He was worried about leaving you here for so long."

"I think he might have been more worried about his dogs," you corrected, but her expression didn't change. "You four are a family. I'd only get in the way of that."

"You're my family too," Sakura said firmly, taking your hand from your lap and holding it between hers, "and I want you to be safe. Where else would you go?"

It was a fair question. Since you began planning your escape, it had always been about Sakura getting back home. You'd never given much thought to what you'd do. The only thing that you could come up with was going back to the Red Room, but that wasn't exactly a viable option. You also knew that it wasn't want pulling you back, but the need for familiarity and routine. Despite all of the pain you experienced there, you knew that having a sense of purpose again would be something of a relief.

"I don't know. I'd figure something out," you tried reassuring her. You were an adult; you should've been more than capable of creating a life for yourself outside of the Red Room. Sakura didn't need you anymore; you'd done what you could for her. Staying any longer in your current mental state would only burden her further.

But maybe there was a chance for redemption here. A chance to heal.

"Let me sleep on it," you finally answered. You tried not to let the hope on Sakura's face convince you to stay right then and there; Sakura wasn't the only one you would be living with. You couldn't imagine that the others, even Kakashi, were eager to make you a permanent fixture of their daily lives. Kakashi had seen your mental state first hand; you doubted that he'd so easily put you in close quarters with his students.

"You can be happy here."

That was what she left you with. It was a thought that you ruminated on for hours, long after the others had come inside and gone to their rooms. When you looked at the clock again, hours had passed, and you were still no closer to a decision. Things were moving too fast for you to keep up.

This was new to you. Independence was not one of your strongest traits. It was rare that you'd ever made this kind of decision for yourself.

After another hour of stewing in your frustrations, you wandered into the kitchen for a change of scenery. You weren't going to sleep anytime soon, and sitting in a dark, empty room certainly wasn't doing you any favors.

Instead of the solitude that you'd been expecting to find, you saw Kakashi rummaging around the kitchen with a bowl of instant ramen sitting next to him.

"It's late," you grumbled, "don't you have a bed?"

Kakashi didn't seem surprised to see you awake either, though he also didn't look as frustrated as you felt. You could feel some leftover anger from your last conversation bubbling up. You'd been hoping to avoid speaking with him until tomorrow, especially now that you had two reasons to be avoiding him, but you supposed that this was a fitting way to end an already unpleasant day.

"You of all people should understand what insomnia is like," Kakashi retorted with a short chuckle.

You huffed, turning your attention to Shiba when he sat at your side. His face was the picture of contentedness as you buried your fingers in the thick fur on his head.

"Tea?" Kakashi asked over his shoulder, pouring himself a cup and raising a second in question. You felt some of your anger drain away. You were too tired to be so upset.

"Alright."

There was likely little harm in something so soothing. The only problem was that this appeared to be an invitation to spend more time with Kakashi, which wasn't something you were eager to do. But a conversation about what Sakura had told you did need to happen, and now was as good a time as any to get it over with.

You took the steaming cup that he handed you and followed him to the couch in the middle of the living room. Akino and Pakkun were already lounging on it, and Kakashi lifted the latter up and moved him to the middle cushion so that he could take the left side. Pakkun grumbled at Kakashi, but settled on his lap a few moments later. Akino lifted his head when you settled on the opposite side and rested it on your leg with a contented sigh.

"Sakura talked to you?"

"Yes," you sighed, focusing on Akino's slowly rising and falling back rather than Kakashi's studious gaze on you, "I found it hard to believe that you agreed to let me stay so easily."

"I spent a month with you where you had every opportunity to kill me. You didn't."

"I hope that's not your only criteria when looking for a roommate."

"No," Kakashi huffed, "but like I told you before, I trust you. And you obviously don't have anywhere else to go."

You glared at him despite how right he was. You would be wandering the streets if this opportunity hadn't been offered to you. If that were the case, you'd likely be found by HYDRA too, despite Ino's efforts. Orochimaru had eyes everywhere, but they had become limited within SHIELD in the past year. The offer really was too good to be true.

"So, what? I just become a part of your little group? There's no way Naruto and Sasuke are okay with that."

"They've barely interacted with you. And Sasuke is like that with most people before he gets to know them. Just give them some time."

"Why are you so insistent about this? You said it yourself; I'm 'not in a good state of mind,'" you repeated bitterly, ignoring Kakashi's guilty wince, "you really want me around your students?"

"I don't know if you've noticed, but none of us are the pillar of good mental health. All of us have baggage, but we help each other deal with it. That's what makes us such a strong team."

It was all too easy. You escaped the Red Room with little trouble, Sakura was apparently never in any danger of Orochimaru's mind control to begin with, and now you were being offered the chance to have a home. A real home, with people who weren't looking to exploit you.

It was terrifying.

"I thought you'd jump at the chance to stay with Sakura."

"I...of course I want to stay with her, I just..." you buried your face in your hands, looking for the words to articulate your inner turmoil, "I could still bring HYDRA here. Ino said it herself: what she did might not have been enough to keep HYDRA away."

"What's the real reason?"

The silence that followed his words was heavy, and you sat in it uncomfortably while you tried to think of a good way to avoid the question. The truth was, you didn't know why. Maybe you didn't want to taint the good thing that the four of them had. Maybe you didn't know how to survive in an environment that didn't constantly threaten you with life and death decisions. How were you supposed to function in a place that seemed so...so good? You weren't good. You would only poison the life that they had.

"I don't belong here."

"'Belong.'" Kakashi chuckled, repeating the word like you'd told him a bad joke, "how do you think we all ended up together? All of those kids were outcasts. I was too. None of us belong anywhere. That's why we found each other."

It's not the same, you wanted to scream, but really, you had no idea if it was. You didn't know their stories. You only knew Sakura's, and that was certainly the case for her.

Maybe you could consider the possibility that you could be okay here.

"I'm not trying to force you, but you don't have many other options. And I know you've thought about going back to the Red Room, but that's not happening. Not while Sakura has any say in it," Kakashi said, setting his empty bowl on the floor for Shiba. "Or while I do."

It was an afterthought, and it shouldn't have surprised you as much as it did, but it still sent an unexpected shock down your spine. This was all happening too fast. Too many people were entering your life. You could feel yourself becoming emotionally overstimulated as each day passed, but you tamped the feeling down. You didn't need Kakashi seeing another breakdown.

"I wasn't planning on it," you muttered, though he was right in assuming that the thought had crossed your mind. It was a hard thought not to consider when the Red Room was all you had ever known.

"Glad to hear it," he said, taking a long sip of his tea. You followed suit, resenting his ability to be so nonchalant during these kinds of conversation. You weren't sure if you could get more tense if you tried.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

"Fine."

"You don't have to lie."

You almost snapped at him. Why would he be the person that you opened up to about anything? But as soon as the thought crossed your mind, your anger dissipated. Aside from Sakura, there weren't many other people that you would talk to.

But that didn't matter. You were fine. At the very least, you were fine enough that you didn't need him psychoanalyzing you.

"I didn't mean to upset you earlier."

"I think I'm going to go to bed," you said, stopping the conversation in its tracks before you had to think about your state of mind on top of the decision you had to make. There were too many things to sort through, and you didn't have the energy to do it right now. Not when Kakashi kept looking at you like he could see right through you.

You gave Akino's head a scratch when he grumbled at you for moving him, but he settled his head back on the pillow that you situated in front of him to replace your leg.

"Goodnight," Kakashi said. You muttered the same, barely loud enough for him to hear, and retreated back to your room. You brought your nightmares with you.

The next night, you didn't fare much better. You woke from a nightmare at midnight, and soon after you heard Kakashi's door open. His soft footsteps moved towards the kitchen, and despite telling yourself that spending any more time with was a bad idea, you found yourself following the sound of the faucet and clinking glasses.

This time, he was sitting on the couch with a book, feet propped on Bull's back. Next to him on the couch was the volume of Icha-Icha that you'd been reading.

On the table in front of him were two cups of tea, steaming and warmly inviting you in.

You stopped to take in the scene, though Kakashi didn't look up at your entrance. Pakkun was on his lap, which seemed to be a common occurrence at this time of night, and the pug lifted his head to watch you as you contemplated whether or not to accept Kakashi's silent invitation.

Pakkun grumbled at you, eyes drooping tiredly. He was waiting for you to move, the little bastard.

You sat carefully on the opposite side of the couch, watching Kakashi like he would pounce at you the moment you let your guard down. He seemed unbothered by the attention, completely consumed by his book.

A bookmark was tucked into the pages of the volume you'd been reading. You remembered leaving it out on his bookshelf where you could easily find it, and you were almost embarrassed that he knew you'd been looking through his things. Still, you opened it to the bookmarked page and hesitantly began reading over the page.

Admittedly, the tea was very comforting.

Pakkun settled his head back on Kakashi's lap when you opened the book. Kakashi didn't move. If you didn't know better, you'd wonder if he had even noticed you sitting down.

Hours later, you were still glancing nervously between Kakashi and the book, though your distraction was becoming more infrequent. Kakashi looked completely engrossed in his novel, and it had been about an hour since either of you had moved past turning the page every few minutes.

You felt your eyes starting to get heavy, but the idea of sleeping was unpleasant at best. You didn't need Kakashi seeing you waking up from a nightmare. Not after he'd already seen it during the mission. But the idea of leaving the comfort of the living room seemed worse than risking having a nightmare in his presence.

Before you had fully made up your mind, your book had already fallen into your lap. When you drifted off, your nightmares were a distant memory.

You hadn't realized how addicting a pleasant night's sleep was until after you'd begun having nightmares again. What infuriated you was that the deciding factor for whether or not you had a pleasant night's sleep seemed to be Kakashi. You tried to think back and deduce what had triggered the seemingly random attachment, but came up empty. There had to be some reason for it, something logical that explained why you rarely had a nightmare when you slept in the same room as him.

Instead of giving you answers, thinking about it just left you frustrated. That didn't mean, however, that you stopped reading with him at night.

After the first couple of days, you fell into an easy routine. Kakashi would get up at around midnight, and when you gave up trying to fight the urge to follow, you'd enter the living room to see a volume of Icha-Icha on the couch and a cup of tea on the table. Each night, Pakkun would lift his head to look at you when you entered the room. You swore that his expression became more smug each time you came out.

After hours of reading with Kakashi, you'd fall into a dreamless sleep. Upon waking, Kakashi would be up and rummaging around the kitchen. Some mornings, a heavy weight in your lap would wake you, usually either Bull's large head on your thigh or Biscuit curling up on your legs.

Sakura generally woke next, though she never questioned your constant presence on the right corner of the couch. Instead, she'd take up Kakashi's empty spot and lay on your shoulder to continue resting.

You were relieved to see that she was already breaking her habits from the Red Room. Even just allowing herself more time to rest in the morning was a victory.

By the time Sasuke and Naruto wandered out of their rooms, Kakashi would have a small breakfast ready for the five of you.

The routine should've been comfortable. It should've been a sign that staying here with Sakura and the others would be good. And the problem was that it was making you comfortable. You weren't sure what to do with comfort. The unfamiliarity of it made you wary to accept it as your new normal.

But Sakura was okay. HYDRA thought you were dead. There was nothing keeping you from staying. You wondered if you'd get used to it if you just gave yourself some time. Maybe your nightmares would disappear completely, and the Red Room would become a distant memory that wasn't constantly trying to fight its way to the surface.

"Why do you come out here?" you asked Kakashi one night, almost a week since he'd come back to the house. You'd finished a volume of Icha-Icha and had been staring at the last page for at least five minutes, contemplating whether or not to say something. It almost felt wrong to break the silence that always persisted throughout the night; even more so when Kakashi looked at you instead of keeping his eyes focused on his book.

"Hm?" he tilted his head.

"You come out here every night," you stated, setting your book down. "When do you sleep?"

"I sleep when I'm tired," he shrugged, "same as you. And I like it out here."

It wasn't the answer you were looking for. What you really wanted to ask was why he'd been so sure that you'd join him every night that he made you a cup of tea and set out a book for you. You wondered when you'd gotten so used to it that you stopped questioning it altogether.

"I haven't had a nightmare in a week," you said instead. You felt like you were treading dangerous ground, and you almost wished you'd kept quiet.

"Oh?" Kakashi set his book down. "Good."

You nodded, though you knew by the tilt of his head that he saw your discomfort. He watched you flip absentmindedly between pages and waited for you to continue.

"I only started having nightmares like this when I met Sakura. Even when we were together, I couldn't figure out how to stop having them" you muttered, closing your eyes to try and stave off your impending anxiety. Sharing these kinds of things was frowned upon in the Red Room, and doing it now was almost painful.

Sakura was the one who taught you how to be open. How to be vulnerable. She guided you while you learned that the way you lived in the Red Room was not the only way to do so.

She'd be proud of you for this.

"I was fine during the mission," you glanced at him, "and I've been fine since I started sleeping out here. It was only when you left that I started having them again."

His silence was more frustrating than it should've been. Was he really going to make you say it?

"I don't get it," you huffed. You should've planned for the conversation better. Though at the moment, it wasn't much of a conversation.

"Neither do I."

Now Kakashi was the one who looked uncomfortable. He had admitted something. You didn't have the full picture, not yet, but it was a start. A start to understanding why you were becoming so dependent on him without wanting to.

"What?" you breathed, finally looking at him while he avoided your eyes. He looked down at Pakkun, who was staring at him with curious eyes.

It took him a moment to gather his thoughts. He looked at the ceiling, maybe hoping that the words he was looking for would be scratched into the paint. When he found nothing helpful, he met your eyes again.

"I've dealt with nightmares for a long time. But when we went on the mission, I stopped having as many. When I went to the compound, I had them every night. I saw Sakura being taken again and again. Some nights I saw..."

He paused and shook his head.

"Now they're gone again. I've been wondering why you seem to be the common factor."

It was hard to believe that he was having the exact same problem as you, and you couldn't decide if your mutual struggle made you feel better or worse. Mutuality would make it harder to break this habit that was beginning to form.

Did you really need to break it?

You silenced the voice in your head quickly. Of course you did. Whether or not you chose to stay, you couldn't live with Sakura and Kakashi forever. Soon or later, HYDRA would catch up to you. You'd seen it before. Runaway Widows rarely made a life for themselves. The idea of independence was often too much for them, and they came crawling back. That was one of the reasons Orochimaru raised Widows the way that he did. He knew that they wouldn't be able to stay away.

You felt that pull too. It kept you up at night.

"You look stressed."

"I am stressed," you said with a laugh, almost in disbelief that you were having this conversation with him, "It'll just be harder to leave if I know that you're..."

"So you decided?"

He asked it so nonchalantly that you almost answered, yes, you had decided. You wanted to stay, but you caught yourself. You hadn't decided. What you wanted was not the only factor you needed to consider. Sakura's safety was more important. It was more important than your own safety, so if leaving helped ensure that she was out of harm's way, that's what you would do.

"Can I say something?"

The fact that he was asking made you wary to give him permission, but you nodded.

"I think you're looking for a reason to leave," he said, "and you're trying to twist this into a bad thing."

"I'm not twisting it," you said with a glare, "I just don't understand why I can only sleep through the night when I'm around you. And even more confusing is why you can't seem to get a good night's sleep without me."

"Maybe you feel safe around me," he shrugged, and before you could negate the statement, he added, "and maybe I feel safe around you too."

"That doesn't make sense."

"Doesn't it?" he shifted, much to Pakkun's chagrin. The pug stood from his lap and wandered towards you, laying down with a disgruntled look in Kakashi's direction. "You protected Sakura in the Red Room for four years, and I've protected her for most of the rest of her life. It makes sense that we would see safety in one another."

It did make sense. So much sense that you wanted to throw the thought away and never revisit it again. The idea of relying on someone this much made a weight settle on your chest. Orochimaru hadn't taught you to need other people. He taught you the opposite. He taught you how to survive despite pain and fear, and eventually, he taught you how to crush those weaknesses. Now you couldn't handle a couple of bad dreams.

"Ironic, considering you attacked me when we first met," Kakashi spoke under his breath, though there was no trace of contempt in his voice.

"I thought you were testing me," you muttered, as if that was reason enough for the second time you'd attacked him.

You didn't understand this. You didn't understand why he was so insistent that you stay.

"Why does it matter to you what happens to me?"

"I think you deserve the chance to be happy. Just like Sakura."

You were so angry. Angry with Kakashi for making you rely on him. Angry at Orochimaru for turning you into this poor excuse of a human being. Angry at yourself for the tears gathering in the corners of your eyes, another sign of your weakness.

Silence crowded the room, and you felt pressed in by it. Tears fell down your cheeks in slow streaks, but you ignored them.

You couldn't keep from flinching when Kakashi reached a hand towards you. He paused, knuckles frozen inches from your face. You eyed his hand like you were waiting for it to form into a fist and strike you; waiting for the familiar ache of a bruise forming on your cheek.

When you met Kakashi's eyes, he moved closer until his knuckles brushed a tear off of your cheek. The touch was lighter than anything you'd experienced, and more gentle than you'd expected. Other than Sakura, no one had ever treated with so much care.

"Ino was wrong," he whispered, opening his hand and brushing his thumb over the wet trail where your tear had fallen. You were frozen in place, forcing yourself to not react to his touch. You wanted to flinch away or push him back on instinct, but nothing was hurting. Nothing felt wrong, "you're not a lost cause."

You had trouble believing that. Kakashi dropped his hand from your face.

"I'm sorry that no one told you that until now."

More tears followed the ones Kakashi had wiped away. This was too much. You were unprepared for the emotions that were swirling in your chest.

"It's too good," you croaked, voice watery, "all of this is too good. I shouldn't be in a place like this. I'm...I'm not meant for it."

"I thought that too," Kakashi said, voice hoarse, "a long time ago. I've done things that I regret, and for a long time, I was convinced that I didn't deserve to be happy. That my penance was to ward off anything good that came my way. But the things that we have been forced to do are not our fault. Our regrets don't define us."

You felt the lump in your throat growing the longer he spoke, and you tried your hardest not to break down in front of him.

"At least try," he murmured, voice quiet and low.

Your words were failing you. You still felt where Kakashi had brushed his thumb over your cheek. If you opened your mouth, you were afraid you'd only break down.

You nodded, and it didn't feel like a betrayal of Orochimaru. It felt like a second chance.

(previous chapter) | (next chapter) | (series masterlist)

Author's note | title is from "Through Me (The Flood)" by Hozier

[elvendria]

Noticing You - e.m x fem reader Part Six

TW: reader gets dress coded, defensive eddie, sleazy teacher, detention, eddie breaks into y/n locker, masturbation, PHONE SEX (kinda), reader is drunk at the end, 18+ Minors DNI Word Count: 5005

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven

September 8th

There had been radio silence from Eddie since the day in the library. He would pick us up, drive us to school, drive us home and that was that. He made small talk with Dustin, but he was weirdly quiet with me.

We were halfway through class when Mr Wright looked to the back and stopped the class. Clearing his throat, he caused everyone to look up at him. He placed the textbook on the table before directing his eyes at me.

"Ms Henderson, do you have anything to cover up with?" He asked, peering over his glasses. Slowly, all the heads in the class turned to look at me.

"No, is there a problem sir?" Suddenly very nervous. What the hell is going on?

"Your shoulders, they're exposed. Find something to cover them at once."

I'd worn a sleeveless turtleneck, given that it was still a bit warm out and my shoulders had never been an issue. So why was he pointing them out now?

"But sir, I don't have anything with me at the moment." Feeling everyone's eyes on me, I wanted to evaporate in a puff of smoke. Robin squeezed my hand under the desk, clearly seeing the panic spreading across my face. The only thing I had was Eddie's jacket, and it was at home.

"Well then I'll have to write you up for violating the dress code," He says as he started writing up the slip, "You know that exposed shoulders are a distraction and therefore are detrimental to the work ethic of the men in the class."

Immediately a voice in front piped up.

"With all disrespect, Mr Wright, don't you think it's perverted that you stopped an entire lesson to point out a girl's shoulders?"

Eddie, what were you doing? I willed him to stop, mentally begging him to shut his mouth and to stop talking.

"I agree Munson, considering she's down the back and the only 'man' that can see her is Mr Wright, it does seem a bit odd that he stopped to tell her that her shoulders were distracting the men. Are her shoulders distracting you, sir?" A second voice popped up beside him, cocking their perfectly styled head to the side.

Steve 'The Hair' Harrington was coming to my defence. What fresh hell is this?

Mr Wright looked appalled but quickly started writing 2 more notes. My heart beat rapidly in my chest.

"Month's detention, all three of you! You're lucky I don't ban you from homecoming. And Ms Henderson you are to report to the main office at once to see if they can't find you something to cover up with." I'd never had detention before, not once. I was a straight-A student with a spotless record and I planned on keeping it that way. Why were the two of them fucking this up for me?

Although shocked at what just happened, I was even more shocked at the fact that Eddie and Steve walked up and swiped their detention slips like it was no big deal. I mean Eddie practically danced out of the class.

I stumbled up to my biology teacher, clutching my bookbag like it was a liferaft, before meekly taking the slip from him and heading towards the office.

After leaving the classroom, the dynamic duo stood outside at the lockers their arms both crossed. They looked smug, proud almost. Their faces changed quickly when they saw my expression, and I'm fairly certain if looks could kill they would both be ash right now.

"What in the actual fuck was that stunt in there," turning to Eddie first, gritting my teeth, "I had it under control," I whisper-yelled at him. I felt myself getting angry, and all I wanted was to go home and crawl into bed and not move.

"Under control?" Eddie scoffed "You were about to let that sleazeball walk all over you! I was just trying to help, you could at least be grateful." The fucking nerve of this guy.

"Grateful? For getting me a month of detention? Oh, what am I supposed to do, drop to my knees and let you know how much this meant to me? Maybe I'll make a big fucking speech about it tomorrow, letting everyone know just how goddamn heroic you are," I saw his eyes go wide, clearly not expecting that sort of response from me.

"I think I-" Steve started,

"And you," I said bitterly, "You think just because you're friends with my brother that you need to come to my aid whenever it's needed?" I shook my head at the two of them, absolutely dumbfounded at their antics. "It's creepy enough that you follow him around like a lost puppy, I don't need you doing it for me too."

"Both of you need to grow up," I said, fixing my gaze on Eddie, wanting to say so much more than that. I wanted to tell him that he needed to get his act together, to kiss me right now if he had the guts. His mixed signals were giving me a headache, one minute we're leaning up against a bookshelf, almost kissing, the next he's point blank ignoring me. Apart from now obviously.

I think he could tell by my expression that I had more to say but was holding back. So, instead of letting loose, I turned on my heel to walk to the main office, undoubtedly they have an ugly cat sweater or something equally as hideous that I can wear for the day, ignoring the grumbling from behind me.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

September 16th

Sitting in the detention hall, I was agitated. I didn't want to be here, I didn't fucking deserve to be here. Who cares if my shoulders had been exposed? If Eddie and Steve had just kept their mouths shut none of us would be in this stupid room.

Steve was sitting in the far corner, staring into a textbook, his head resting in his palm. He seemed to get the message that I didn't want to talk to him. Eddie however turned a blind eye, even when I blatantly turned and told him to move away.

I was tired, I woke up extra early every day this week so I didn't have to get a ride with him to school. I always ended up leaving the house just as he pulled into the driveway.

The first morning, I walked over and opened the passenger door. A wave of relief washed over him, which was quickly replaced by a look of dejection as I threw his leather jacket on the seat and closed it, making my way towards the school.

The first two days, whenever he saw me he would start apologizing and trying to pry conversation out of me. He tries to stop me in the halls to talk to me, but I kept walking. People had started to look at me funny because of how often he had been coming up to me.

I should learn to stop caring about what people think of me. This time next year I'll be gone, off to college somewhere far from here.

I wanted to talk to Eddie, but every time I looked at him my head became a jumbled mess that I couldn't decipher. I tried convincing myself he was a distraction, but the truth was I'd never been more focused. In hindsight, I'm being petty, but anyone who knows me knows that I am incredibly stubborn. Depending on how you look at it it can be a flaw or a strength.

I would sit in the back of the detention hall as another note would be sneakily put on my desk. Eddie had been doing this in every class we had together, and I hadn't answered them. I hadn't even read them despite desperately wanting to, I just shoved them into a little pocket in my bag, but it was starting to fill up.

‐-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

My head felt like it weighed about 12 tonnes coming out of Math. When was I ever going to use anything I just learned? Pythagoras theorem? A load of bull more like. All I wanted right now was to skip the rest of the day and go home, to curl up under my covers and read. Or sleep, whatever happened first.

Rubbing my temple, I didn't notice that I'd walked into someone. Thankfully I didn't drop anything like the last time I did this. Looking up, I realised I walked into Steve Harrington. Why was this guy everywhere?

"Woah, you ok?" He asked, a look of genuine concern on his face as he placed a hand on my shoulder. His eyes were wide and searching my face for any sign of injury.

"I'm fine," I shrugged his arm off me, not wanting to engage in physical contact with anyone right now. "You barely touched me," I was tired, and I was also slightly annoyed at Steve too.

Let's be honest, I was annoyed with everyone. Right now everyone but Robin sucked.

"Ok, well, just checking." He stepped back, holding his hands up and stepping back.

"Yeah well don't." I pushed past him, deciding that getting Tylenol from the nurse was a better option than listening to Cassidy Quinn warble all through music class.

I hear him come after me, but I didn't stop walking. It didn't take long for him to catch up to me though, given how unnaturally tall he is. "You should hear Munson out, he thought he was doing the right thing." He said as he walked beside me.

The truth was, I wasn't ignoring Eddie because of what happened, or even because of his mixed signals. I was ignoring him because I couldn't deny how I felt anymore. I'd only spoken to him a couple of times, but I've been watching him for what feels like a lifetime.

I felt it when he was working on my car, and again when he gave me his jacket. He was so gentle.

I felt another thing entirely when he stared down at Jason Carver and defended me in Bio. He seemed protective. Is that the best way to describe it?

Either way, each time I felt like there was a growing pit in my stomach and a tightness in my chest.

Each time, I wanted him to pull me close and hold me. To feel his body warmth all over me as he whispers in my ear. To feel his forehead against mine and his breath on my lips. He made me feel weak. It made me feel stupid. Reduced to nothing but a giggling mess at the thought of him.

It was too difficult to suppress my feelings, so instead, I didn't engage with him. Treating my feelings like a scab. If I don't pick at them, they'll heal over and disappear. Leaving nothing but a faint scar and a distant memory behind.

"Look Steve," I sighed, "Things are going on that you wouldn't understand. I don't even understand! All I know is Eddie and I can't be friends," I looked down at my feet, "So just drop it okay? Besides, you barely know me, you just hang out with my brother and best friend sometimes."

Fun fact, Steve and Robin slung ice cream together, yet somehow she was the only one to come out of it with any muscle gain.

"Look all I'm saying is, hear him out. I don't like the freak either bu-"

"I never said I didn't like him." I glowered at him, instantly regretting my words, "And anyways, don't call him a freak, he's a good person."

"This coming from the person who said you wouldn't be friends with him," He said smugly, knowing he was right all along.

"Couldn't, not wouldn't." I finished, before walking away and leaving him behind. Sometimes I wish I was tall enough to punch him in his stupid face.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

"Y/n, I said I'm sorry, can you please just hear me out?" He said following me out of our detention and towards my locker. He ran in front of me and started walking backwards, stumbling once or twice. I felt a smile tug at my lips and I knew he could see it too.

I just wanted to grab my books and start walking home. I had to work the night shift at the diner tonight, and despite manifesting for a quiet night, it was a Friday and there was always a busy night shift then. I was going to be run off my feet. At least it's not as busy as a Saturday. I had back-to-back lessons to give tomorrow, and an English assignment due on Monday that I hadn't finished.

When I got to my locker and opened it, there was his jacket. After putting it in his van on Monday it was in my locker by the time I got to school that morning. The only explanation was he broke into my locker before I got there. I hated the fact that it didn't make me angry.

The day after I tried handing it to Dustin and getting him to give the jacket back to Eddie, but it was back in my locker after lunch. I gave it to Gareth the next day when I saw him in English, and through his stuttering and shock that an actual human woman was speaking with him, he nodded and took the jacket. I saw him give it to Eddie at lunch, and we locked eyes as he grasped it.

He looked like he was doing mental gymnastics in his head. Then, he stood up so abruptly at the time that I was sure he was going to come over and yell at me, but he just fiddled with something in his pocket and stormed out of the cafeteria. He came back 10 minutes later without the jacket, and I thought my eyes were going to get stuck in the back of my head.

It had been back and forth all week. I'd give him his jacket, he'd put it in my locker. If it weren't for my stubbornness I'd have given in and put it in my wardrobe by now.

But now, his eyes peered into me, like they were searching the depths of my soul. I shoved the jacket into his arms and closed the locker door. He immediately whipped out a nail file and started jimmying the lock. I stood in pure shock just looking at him, swallowing quietly as I stared at the way his fingers gripped it.

Scenarios played over and over in my head. Filthy, dirty thoughts and I could feel myself blushing deeply when I looked back at him fiddling with my lock, his tongue poking out over his top lip. It doesn't mean I like him, it just means he's very attractive.

"This would be a lot easier if you just gave me your combination." He grinned like this was funny. I stayed silent, giving in would only just make him talk more, even if that is what I secretly wanted.

He opened the locker swiftly and despite having seen it every day this week, Eddie stared into it. He took in every little detail from Dustin's 2nd-grade class photo pinned to the inside of the door, his teeth all askew as his grin stretched from ear to ear, to the calendar stuck on the back wall, a big circle marked around next Saturday.

"I'm not taking it back sweetheart."

I can't lie, every one of his pet names sent a shiver straight to my core. Each name was an appraisal, whether it was 'sweetheart ' or 'pretty girl', I wanted him to keep saying them. To keep hearing them.

He pulled me out of my thoughts when he placed his hand on my cheek, his thumb rubbing the circles on my skin.

"Not yet," he whispered, and I was once again greeted with the smell of mint and nicotine.

With that, he stepped back and shoved the jacket into my locker, turning around. My face burned where he had touched me, and I was frozen in place staring at him as he walked away.

Every time I thought I knew what was going on, Eddie always came along and made me feel like he'd blindfolded me and spun me in circles. I was dazed, confused and most of all unsure of how I felt.

Of how he felt.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Tonight was hell, and we weren't even close to quitting time.

We were swarmed with customers. One of the guys had called in sick at the last minute and taken the night off so it was just me and Nicolle waiting tables, cleaning and ringing people up.

Nicolle was by far the best part about working here. She was very assertive, with a "take no prisoners" attitude. They weren't much older, Nicolle only graduated 3 years ago, she took me under her wing and showed me the ropes, even fending off the creepy perverts who would come in just to flirt.

The fact that we get to play our favourite music when we're working wasn't bad either. Luckily we all liked the same kinds.

"So," she spoke, leaning against the counter resting on her arms, looking at the rowdy group of kids loitering in the pop section, "Who wants to go and tell them that if they don't order soon we'll have to kick them out?"

"Not me," I said, taking a step back and throwing my hands up in a defensive manner, "I have to see them in school, it's gotta be you that has to do it." Nicolle looked at me and nodded her head, making vague noises of annoyance.

We'd grown extremely close, but that just caused us to bicker about situations like this more than you'd think. It could go back and forth like this for a while, and that was time we just didn't have at the moment. Pulling a quarter from the register, I turned to her.

"Call it," I said, flipping it in the air and catching it, turning it over onto the back of my hand.

"Heads," Nicolle called out.

"Tails," I followed.

Lifting my hand, I grinned at her. "Looks like you're up Nic," I smiled, showing her the tails-up coin before putting it back in the register.

She grumbled as she walked around to them, and I already knew they were in for it. In a way, it was a good thing that it was just us two because I'm almost certain some of the things she was yelling at the group would have gotten her fired if there was anyone else here.

"Hey," I turned to her as she stormed over, the teens having left. It was hard to take her seriously when she was annoyed, due to her height and naturally adorable face. 

"At least it's quieter now," and together we had to cover our mouths from laughing.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pulling down the shutters and walking into the parking lot, I hopped in Nicolle's car. She had been driving me home when we had shifts together due to me currently not having a car.

"So, tell me about Eddie again." She grinned. I told her about the situation every time she drove me home, but she kept asking anyway. She was studying cosmetology at the local community college, and she loved telling me what she thinks is happening between myself and Eddie.

I recounted the week's events to her as we drove down the road, telling her about how he'd broken into my locker every day just to give me his jacket. I told her about all the notes he had left me and how I couldn't read them. I don't know why but whenever she asked about him I always just opened up about everything I was feeling.

I looked at her and saw a big grin stretching across Nic's face like she knew something I didn't. She tapped her fingers against the steering wheel, looking too happy to be this quiet.

"What? Why do you look like that?" I questioned her, which only made her laugh.

"Because I know what's going on here, and I can't tell you. This is something you need to figure out on your own." She briefly turned her head to give me a knowing look, just as we pulled outside my house.

The lights were off and I knew no one was home. Dustin was staying in Mike's after Hellfire Club, and Mom was probably at some bingo night or something. Maybe she was buying materials to make tews a dress since she loved that cat so much.

"I hope you know you've become a bitch ever since you started dating right?" I wasn't annoyed with her really, but I wished that she had chosen a different day to clam up about her opinions. She playfully nudged my shoulder as I got out of the car.

"Yeah, and this bitch can stop driving you home whenever she wants, " She laughed as I closed the door. I was about to turn around and fish my keys from my bag when she rolled down the window.

"Look," She huffed, "Just get drunk and do something stupid. You're overanalysing the situation when the facts are right in front of you. Maybe with some lowered inhibitions, you might figure out what's going on in that big brain of yours."

We waved each other goodnight as she sped off down the road. I don't know about the something stupid thing.

But I was definitely down for getting drunk.

------------------------------------------------------------------

EDDIES POV

I lay on my bed with my head on my arms just staring up at the ceiling. I put on my favourite mix tape and shut my eyes. I thought about the way her eyes lit up as I touched her face today. I thought about how hot she looked when she got angry at me, and when she sarcastically mentioned dropping to her knees I couldn't stop picturing the image in my mind.

Even now, just thinking of her like that and I felt my boxers tighten. I was no better than George, we shared the same thoughts about her, I just didn't voice mine out loud. Only these four walls have heard me moan her name as I gripped myself, picturing her underneath me writhing in ecstasy. Nowadays the only way I could get off was to picture her perfect face.

The image of that towel falling away, of her breasts perking up beneath my fingertips. Those fantasies were like a drug and I was most certainly addicted. Her silence all week had been torture, and the day I saw her looking at me in the cafeteria it took all my strength to not go to her, throw her over my shoulder, walk out of there and just force her to talk to me.

I unbuckled my belt and slipped my hand into my jeans, slowly pumping myself, picturing her on my lap when the phone rang out in the hall. I planned on ignoring it, Wayne could get it, I was too busy in my little make-believe sex bubble.

The ringing stopped and I heard him grumble something down the line. The next thing I know there's a knocking on my door and I'm fumbling around trying to look normal. I open my bedroom door and he's there standing with the phone.

"Some girl looking to speak to you. Sounds drunk." He said holding it out to me. "It's late, and I don't want any visitors." He pushed it into my hand and sulked back to his sofa bed.

I loved Wayne, and I'll never be able to repay him for all he's done for me, no matter how many mugs and trucker hats I give him on Father's Day. But damn did he have poor timing.

It's an unspoken bond between us, I'd gift him a mug or hat and he'd hang it on the wall. He'd always wear it to work for the week that followed, but we never spoke about it.

Cousin Jesse, Wayne's only son, did the same thing before he moved away. Now we're lucky if we hear from him before Christmas. Maybe it's something to do with never knowing his mom. Maybe he just hates trailer parks?

I held the phone and walked back over to my bed, it was probably some girl looking to score last minute, or who thought it would be funny to call up the town freak at a party. Whoever it was, I wasn't in the mood to listen to their shit.

"Hello?" I sighed down the phone, rubbing my eyes. The girl hiccuped before she spoke.

"Why didn't you kiss me?" Y/n slurred down the line.

Ok, I take it back, I was definitely in the mood to listen to her.

"Y/n I-" I thought about it for a sec. Why hadn't I kissed her that day in the library? Or at her front door? Why hadn't I walked up to her and just grabbed her face, leaned in close and kissed her? God knows I wanted to.

She cut me off before I could speak.

"I like blue flowers. I'm wearing a blue dress to homecoming. I like the colour blue." She slurred each word to the point I was in stitches laughing down the phone.

"You have a cute laugh, Munson. You have a cuter face." She said quietly and my laughter stopped.

"How much have you had to drink Y/n?" I knew Dustin wasn't with her, I'd overheard him talking with Mike about what pizza they were gonna get for him and Sinclair staying over. I was only worried about her, she must've hit her head to be calling me cute.

"Half a bottle of Jack. I think. But that doesn't mean you don't have a hot face. Is your body as hot as your face? I had a dream it was. I have lots of dreams about you." I stayed silent, letting the words resonate with me. I so badly wanted to tell her I had dreams of her too. Filthy dreams of handcuffs and her screams of pleasure as I buried my face between her thighs.

"Eddieeeee" She sighed down the phone. I felt my breath catch in my throat and my cock twitch in my jeans. She let out a tired groan, but my filthy mind constructed it into something different. I was throbbing in my boxers, an absolute goner if she made any more noises like that.

"Yes, sweetheart?" I whispered. I was unsure of my words, how do I handle a hot drunk girl on the phone telling me that she finds me hot? Especially when this girl has given me a rock-hard dick that I need to take care of.

"Mmmm, I love it when you call me that." She moaned slightly, the noise permanently imprinted on my brain. This chick was determined to drive me nuts and so far she was succeeding.

Sliding a hand back into my jeans, I relieved a bit of the pressure on my cock. This felt so wrong, and yet so right. I mean, I already picture her when I'm jacking off, the only difference now is that I can hear her moans too. I started stroking myself slowly to the replaying sound of her moan.

My high was building fast, my cock still sensitive from my earlier attempt at this.

"Oh really? What about if I called you my good girl?" I was going to regret her answer, but I needed to know. I pulled my lip between my teeth as I moved my thumb over the tip.

"Apparently I like that too," She sounded a bit surprised.

"How do you know babygirl?" I asked, stifling a moan. God she was going to be the death of me.

"I can feel it. Between my legs. It's like a shiver or a twitch. I really liked that last one. My favourite so far." Her words were like honey, and before long I had nestled the phone between my ear and shoulder as I reached for the tissues, riding out my high and spilling myself into them. I'd never come that fast before, but her sounds and words made my body react in a certain way that I couldn't control.

There was silence over the phone, but it wasn't awkward. Peaceful almost. I lay back on the bed and listened to her breathing, wondering if she'd fallen asleep.

"Eddie?" She asked, her voice soft and quiet.

"Yes, Y/n?" A smile played on my lips as she said my name. If only one person in the world could say my name, I'd want it to be her. I want her to say it over and over again as I do unspeakable things to her. Consensual but unspeakable.

"I'm still mad at you." She said, letting out a deep sigh, and I had a feeling there was more to what she was saying, but I didn't press her on it.

"I know," I chuckled slightly. She could be mad at me forever if she wanted, I wouldn't mind in the slightest.

"Will you pick me flowers? They don't have to be blue." She whispered, almost like she was afraid to ask.

"For you sweetheart, I'd pick all the blue flowers in Indiana," knowing that she was too drunk to remember this conversation gave me a weird sense of confidence, but it didn't mean I lied. Hell, I'd give her the moon on a string if she asked for it.

I heard a small laugh down the line, that beautiful laugh that I wanted to hear forever on repeat. "Goodnight Eddie," She spoke softly.

"Goodnight beautiful, sweet dreams," I said as the line went dead, my head falling back against my pillow.

I think Ms Gullivan grew blue flowers outside her trailer.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven

let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

[behindthewox]

In my aim to highlight issues within WoX and hopefully provide some helpful advice and guidance to make the improvements I'd like to see, I really want to get into the management stuff. I have some experience when it comes to management and leadership, but I'm by no means an expert in the field and I'm only educated enough to openly admit that I can be wrong. However, I do have the time and internet access to educate myself on the subjects that I'd like to analyse and dig deeper into.

Since my findings may be valuable to others, especially site leaders, I figured I'd share it in the hope that it will come to good use within the WoX community. So watch out for educational material, coming soon from a rebellious blogger near you...

Keep in mind, this blog is a longterm hobby project of mine, posting may be sporadic and will probably vary in content: everything from praise and feedback to criticism, reports of concerning practises and highlighting the discontent that won't be expressed in the official WoX forums. I believe it's important to make Dan aware of the discontent that stems from his actions, but also to offer our appreciation, advice and support.

Whether Dan follows the advice or not, that's on him. It can be hard to admit that someone else is better than you, especially if you take pride and comfort in doing it yourself, but sometimes you have to accept that you can't be the best at everything and there will be other people who are far better equipped in matters like finance, sales, communication and management. We have those people in the WoX community, people who are willing to share their knowledge and experiences to help keep WoX alive. People who would share and help, if given the chance and a place to do so. I'm just one of them.

This blog has been somewhat rebranded over the 2 weeks it has existed: it's gone from a tea blog for exposing bad practices behind the scenes, to something closer to a feedback and information hub place with a rebellious blogger analysing and ranting about WoX management.

I received criticism regarding the tea blog concept and I realised the critics were right: it's far more productive to point out flaws and offer feedback on them than to just point at things and say that it's wrong without explaining how or why or what to do about it. And maybe, just maybe, I can serve as a helpful example of how you can face criticism in a productive way. It takes a bit of humility to admit when you're wrong, but don't mistake humility for a weakness: I'd argue that it's a strength and a skill worth learning.

I'm still up for the tea by the way, if you see bad practises or have any concerns, please share it - the more people who hear about it, the greater the pressure will be on the leadership to adhere to good practise and avoid foul play. I will do my best to keep it civil and professional out of respect for everyone involved, and I hope you will too. Remember that there can be several sides to a story and it's important to consider all of them.

Don't hesitate to raise your teacup for the sites and heroes that deserve more recognition and appreciation though, it's important to celebrate the good things too!

[phoebe-delia]

Takes One to Know One

Rated M for implied and slight NSFW. Also angst. Based on "cowboy like me" by Taylor Swift.

The first time it happened, I could chalk it up to coincidence.

That we'd both be at the same gala, drinking the same cheap rose and plastering the same false smiles on our faces, stealing secret scowls at one another—it had to be the worst kind of serendipity, a karmic irony.

The grift I'd planned, the scheme that my every move had been leading up to for months was out the window the moment I saw you.

What I couldn't have expected, though, was the way we stumbled into bed, clumsy and fierce and competitive. And, come to find out, that we'd been there for the same reason.

"I'm tired of those arseholes pretending they give a shit and then not doing anything about it," you'd said before taking a drag of your cigarette. It was, at that point, the most surreal form of pillow talk I'd ever experienced. "Plus, they kept inviting me to those fucking things, so I figure I might as well get something out of them."

"How noble," I'd mused.

You'd snorted. "You're doing the same. I've seen the donation records at Hogwarts."

I'd looked at you sharply. "You have no evidence th—"

You'd chuckled. "Come off it, Malfoy. I know for a fact that between the reparations your family paid after the war, and the fact that you earn an average Ministry salary, you couldn't possibly have gotten all that money on your own."

It had made me speechless, so I scowled instead. You just laughed again, because you're an insufferable git for whom my hatred knows no bounds.

"We could team up," you'd said, eyes calculating. "My status and your legilimancy."

I'd merely reached over and plucked the cigarette from your fingers, twisting it thoughtfully between my thumb and forefinger, lips pursed. I took a drag, letting the smoke billow from my lips before passing it back to you.

"Thanks for the offer, Potter, I'm flattered," I'd said, rising from your bed and slipping into my now rumpled clothes. "But I work alone."

You'd hummed, golden skin looking warm against the white sheets, limbs spread out insouciantly on the bed. I willed my eyes not to glance down at the way the sheet was slightly tented between your legs. "Ah, well. I suppose I'll see you next time, Malfoy."

I'd huffed. "Don't count on it, Potter."

This, tonight, was the fifth time we'd run into each other at one of these farcical events. I felt your presence before I heard or saw you. I knew you were there; sensed you, like I've always done. I was starting to suspect you were stalking me, and I told you as much, murmuring my accusations when you appeared beside me at the bar.

You'd smirked. "I don't think I'd be able to find you if you didn't want to be found."

Tonight, sticky and sated, you roll off of me with a groan. I bask in the afterglow, trying to memorize the sight of you in my bed, the way your hair and skin look against my sheets, my pillowcases.

You let out a contented sigh. "You were right."

"To which instance of my being right are you referring? There are so many possibilities."

You scoff, a short and halfhearted thing. "About us not working together. It's better this way. Keeps things simple."

I grunt in answer, nonplussed at the sudden wave of hurt that washes over me. I feel vulnerable, somehow; exposed. And I hate it so viscerally, so instantly.

So, I say, "About time for you to head out now, isn't it, Potter?"

You raise your eyebrows. "Kicking me out, Malfoy?"

I shrug cooly. "You fulfilled your purpose here. You're a decent fuck, but I'm tired, now. So," I wave a hand. "Shoo."

You roll your eyes, seemingly unfazed, and it makes me even angrier, so I kick at you until you slide out of bed with an irritated, "Okay, okay, jeez."

You dress, and I feel your gaze on me the entire time, even as I turn onto my side, my back to you, and demand that you "turn out the lights on your way out, Potter."

You slip out the door, the hinges closing so softly it might as well have been the wind.

[library-of-ohara]

anon asked: The idea of surprise authors is so cool, really enjoying everything that's coming out of here so far. Thanks so much for your hard work!!! I was wondering if I could please get a nswf female bodied reader getting JOI from Robin, Perona, or Bonney?

➪ a/n: MY BELOVEDS!!! ahhh I was so excited to write these haha, I love them so much. I didn't end up doing Bonney because I'm not confident in my writing for her but I'd be willing to try some other time. I hope you enjoy this! - maxx (@sugxrslushy)

➪ details: NSFW//Robin & Perona x afab!reader (separate)//w.c: 1k//warnings: afab!reader, jerk off instructions, bath sex, fingers, use of toys, pet names

Robin’s skin is slick with water from the bath, her breasts pushed against your back as she holds you firmly in her lap. Her fingers trace gently over your own hand, thumb rubbing circles around your knuckles then wrapping her hand around yours to press your fingers deeper inside yourself. Shuddering, you let your head thump against her collarbone as your body turns to jello.

Nudging you lightly, she retracts her hand from your lap, the absence of her helping push your fingers into your tight cunt making the sparks zipping up your spine dissipate. You whine, head lolling to the side to face her and flash her a look the begs for her to keep touching you. Unmoved, she only strokes your face and coos at you., so gentle despite being so mean.

“I can’t do all the work for you my flower,” her lips ghost over yours, dangerously close but pull away when you try to kiss her. She was so blatantly teasing you, had you wrapped around her finger and you were playing right into it with how your core ached for more. “If you want to come you’ll have to do it yourself. But I’ll help you a bit if needed.” She presses a kiss to your wet scalp and leans back, her own knees nudging yours apart and exposing you fully. “Come on, don’t be shy. Touch yourself for me, fuck yourself on your fingers.” 

Voice low and sly, she carefully instructs you as you press your fingers deep into your cunt once again. Your fingers feel good but not as good as when her slender and delicate digits are exploring you, scissoring you open and working deep inside to the one spot that had you seeing stars. Her hands graze against yours, encouraging you to slip another finger in to stretch yourself open so deliciously.

“You look so beautiful.” Trailing up from your mound, she takes one of your breasts in her hand and squeezes, playing with your sensitive nipple and almost making you lose focus on thrusting your fingers inside of you. “Ah ah, don’t stop touching yourself. If you’re good for me I’ll fuck you nice and well later, don’t you want me to make you feel so good?”

“Y-yes!” You gasped out, bucking your hips against your fingers and sobbing as you hit your g-spot dead on. 

“Then keep doing that, do you think you can add another finger?” The third finger pokes at your entrance, testing before slipping fully in. Bliss envelopes you fully, thighs shuddering and trying to close but Robin keeps them open. “Mmm, you’re doing so good~ Move your fingers faster, you can play with your clit too sweetheart.”

Quick to obey, you thrust your fingers into yourself faster and make the water around you two slosh, threatening to spill over the edges. Your toes are curled, orgasm approaching fast and your thumb sweeps over your clit to bring it faster. Robin says nothing, only watching closely as you pant and squirm in her lap, fingering yourself towards your peak that you craved.

“Stop.” Her voice is stern, unwavering and those blue eyes show no mercy. You’re balancing on the edge, panting with tear filled eyes begging for your release. You want it so fucking bad. “You’re so good for me, listening so well.” Brushing damp strands from her face, she shifts behind you. “Sit on the edge of the tub, I want to taste you.”

Perona sits between your thighs, holding your face in her hands and lightly stroking your cheeks. You stare at her, eyes wide and desperate in anticipation for what she was to say. You drink up her words like it's the sweetest treat, similar to the decedent treats the two of you would share during meals.

Yet this was a… different treat. One for the princess as she had you in the palm of her hand and at her will. So demanding as usual, she wanted to see you give her a show, one with a silicon dildo nestled deep inside your pussy and head bowed in her hands. She presses more sickly sweet kisses to your face, her red lipstick leaving faint marks.

“You're so cute.” Her voice sings softly, stroking your face that was warm from desperation and a slight embarrassment from being so exposed. “You'd be so much cuter if I got to see that pretty face of yours when you're pleasuring yourself.” She giggles, light and airy and it makes butterflies flutter in your stomach. “You can move~”

You flex your thighs, sliding up on the pink silicone dick till just the tip is left. It's Perona’s favorite and you could tell why when you slide back down and it presses so nicely against the spongy spot inside of you. You gasp and Perona swallows it, her lips sealed firmly over your own and greedily indulging in every sweet noise

She rocks her hips with yours despite nothing filling her up, getting off solely to the sight of your fucked out face every time you slide down and shudder. You'd never expected Perona to be into this, always wanting to be on the receiving end but her hands can't stop groping at your body like she can't get enough and moaning like she was the one in your position

There's a knowing smile on her face as she doles out instructions on what to do, to slow down or speed up and her grin spreads more out how close you listen to her. She presses her chest against yours, teeth biting at your earlobe as she whispers in your ear. “You're so cute like this, keep fucking yourself like that. I want to see you play with your so cute tits, make them look pretty for me.” 

Your hands glide against your chest, pressing your breasts together and pushing your chest out against hers. Grabbing at your ass, Perona guides your hips up and down on the dildo and towards your oncoming orgasm. Your mouth falls open in a moan, feeling your abdomen grow tight and every part of you tense. Finally, you come when she presses you down firmly on the dildo, spasming around it and crying out against her.

Breathing heavily, little trickles of sweat falling down your face as Perona presses your fingers against your clit and rubs lightly till the rest of the aftershocks course through you. You both sit against each other for a moment, calming down and gathering your bearings. 

Perona scrunches her nose, sliding you off of her. “You’re so sweaty, yuck.” You huff out a laugh, sliding off the dildo slick with your juices and crawling between her legs. Her panties and dark with her wetness, the lacy material doing little to hide her arousal.

“Let me make it up for you.” Laying between your legs, you pull her panties off and lick a long stripe up her exposed core.

[jaeminscoffee]

Daddy Issues | S. Jn

Pairing | Seo Johnny x Fem!Reader

Genre | Smut, fluff

Wc;type | oneshot: 3.93k [not proof read]

Warning(s) | Pwp, dilf!johnny, y/n's a pillow princess, daddy kink, overstimulation, teasing, edging, dacryphilia, slight voyeurism, degradation kink, heavy use of the words 'doll, princess, slut, pretty, angel', typical lyra smut, i made haechan johnny's son (i was about to write changbin as johnny's son but decided against it) age gap, unprotected sex ( the Reader's on pills. Remember this is a fiction, don't play the wrong card irl) filth.

a/n- i found this request buried in my asks and was tempted to write it. Sure, the warning looks intimidating, but i know you wanna read it, y'all whores (ily) shoutout to @bakugou-is-my-bae @cvntzennie and @jenopollo for helping me decide what to post first! @suhpersonic

Minors try not to interact! <3

Age is just a number, so surely, there's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of, right? 

There's no reason for you to not fall for the friendly neighborhood bachelor, well not so bachelor bachelor, since he does go around asking people who knows of his marriage to pretend it never took place. 

Johnny's hot, super hot. Has the build of a supermodel. Has the face that one can only imagine belongs to a greek god, as you'd jokingly tell him how he seemed to be god's favorite and how you loathe Aphrodite for showing favoritism (which would always end up with you getting a very sultry, teasing look from the lad) 

Johnny has the type of personality that women can only wish the entirety of the male species would possess. He's an absolute sweetheart, life of the party, definitely the center of attention wherever he goes. And oh god, does he have an immaculate fashion sense. 

But Johnny's also the father of Donghyuck. Your best friend. 

More than being ashamed about the fact that you actually fell in love with a man who has a child of your age, it was the fact that you had to fall for Donghyuck's father of all people. 

Donghyuck is a sweetheart, definitely got his personality from his father but he's also got that glare that could creep the Lord's of the darkness from his father. He's got so much from his father that the resemblance is uncanny. 

You'd not want to get onto hyuck's bad side since you've gotten first hand experience at stopping him from almost committing homicide to someone who spoke shit about his friends, more specifically, you. 

But Hyuck's not in town. So a little fun with Mr. Suh wouldn't hurt anyone, correct? After all, you're still only a human with desires and the want to take risks. 

You'd always not so subtly drop hints at Johnny and he'd always give you that look that would have slick collecting itself between your thighs. A warning look. 

A look that said, "cross the line and you'll get it" 

But that's the thing, you want to get it and will do anything to get it.

"Y/n." 

You'd ask yourself less than a million times if you want to do this or not.

Sure, you weren't this hesitant when you decided to sext your best friend's father knowingly when he was in business mode to irk him up but that's one thing. 

And having to confront the same father who left a message smaller than a sentence that completely disregarded all the obscene text and images to show that he's not the slightest bothered or suprised by your behavior for that matter was another thing.

"Tomorrow at mine." 

It's almost as though he deals with hormonal teenagers one as such as yourself on a daily basis and that thought kind of backfired at you considering the whole 'Let's piss Johnny off so that he'd finally give me what i want' agenda. 

Ironic, huh? 

"Mr. Suh." you start hesitantly, unsure of what to call him, scared of what his reaction would be after your inappropriate shenanigans last night. 

Your stiff demeanor broke down a little with just a hint of shiver passing down your spine as you watch his features contort into a subtle but cocky smirk, "So now you're being all formal,"

"Well, what else would you like me to address you as?" you inquire, feigning oblivion to his tone and what he's implying at. "You tell me, doll. You seemed to have a lot of names to call me last night," he takes a step forward, prompting you to walk a step backwards, further into the corridors of his apartment and away from the actual location. 

"I do not know what you're talking about.. " you let your voice shrivel towards the end, eyes wandering around the complex, finding interest in every small detail as you avoid Johnny's teasing gaze. 

"You don't?" Johnny takes another step forward, latching his hands onto your forearms to prevent you from stepping further away, "You must have had a heavy sleep to forget all that you did last night," his voice drops dangerously low as he begins to walk backwards and back into the safety of his apartment, all the while keeping his gaze fixated on you.

"That won't do, would it? How about we take a walk down the memory lane? And see if that rings any bell?" He brushes your hair away from its static position on your shoulder, allowing him to appreciate all those fine details of your shoulders and neck that are exposed from your selection of clothing, an off shoulder. 

"How about we don't...?" You ask with skepticism, jolting slightly when you hear the door shut behind you and at the new intrusion of personal space by the lad.

"Why are you acting all shy now, Y/n? Weren't you the one so eager to get into her best friend's fathers pants? Just be the whore you are, darling. Your facade's fooling no one." okay you definitely didn't see that coming. 

Johnny's expressions morph into that of mischief as he watches your eyes grow wide and mouth fall ajar, "Am i not correct? Are you not a whore?" he asks with an eyebrow quirked up in a questioning manner.

You don't reply, almost as though the question was meant to linger in the open and that it was a rhetorical one. What you didn't expect, however, was for Johnny's hands to find pursuit around your neck, not necessarily applying pressure, but there as a warning. 

"Answer me." 

"I'm not.." you answer with a feeble voice, internally cringing at how squeaky you sound which only added to Johnny's amusement. 

"Really? Because I don't think good girls go around drooling at a divorced man, her friend's father for that matter and definitely do not send lewd images and voice out their fantasies to a guy twice their age, still want to pretend you're innocent? Or you admit it and we cut down the chase?"

"Yes, I am." you breathe out when his fingers tighten around your neck, a triumphant smile making its way onto his lips. Yet, Johnny felt the need to keep pushing,

"you're what?" 

"I am what you said I am," you speak, trying to avoid looking at the scrutinizing look on his face which seemed futile as he had his arms wrapped around your neck, keeping your head in place. 

"I want to hear you say it, doll. I need to hear you say it." At this point Johnny's intent was to get you into a flustered puddle in his hold and it sure as hell was going in that direction, seeing how you can't even hold his gaze for more than a few seconds in a shot. 

"I am.. I am a who-"

The sound of a phone ringing loud cut you off midway through your sentence, to which you were absolutely relieved. Johnny only seemed to grow annoyed the more he heard the phone ring. With a loud huff, he lets you go, not before giving you a stern look, "Go to my room." he instructed, making his way to the study. 

You let out a breath you've been holding in unknowingly the moment he steps away from you. You watch his figure retreat from you with awe, only now realizing how messy you felt between your legs and how your knees keep buckling. 

"Oh Hyuck!" you hear Johnny exclaim into the phone the minute you step forward to follow his command. 

Your best friend is on call with the guy you're about to fuck. 

Your blood runs cold as you shakily make your way into the apartment and towards the bedroom, shrugging off your sling bag, hanging it behind the door as you place your phone on the bedside table to wipe your hands dry from all the sweat that had accumulated at the palm of your hands. 

"Yeah, I'm fine, about to eat to my dinner actually" you hear the moment to make yourself comfortable at the edge of the bed, looking over to the door where Johnny stood with his arms across his chest, the other holding up the phone as he leans his weight onto one shoulder, leaning into the doorframe.

You take the time to really appreciate his appearance. He adorned nothing more than a simple grey sweat and tight black tee but he seemed ready to walk down a runway at any given moment now. His long hair, slightly disheveled looking almost intentionally messed up, compliments his features. And oh his features. 

The everlasting smirk stayed still on his lips, moving as he exchanged words with his son.

You only come back to your senses when Johnny snapped his free hand in front of you, gaining your attention. He points at his own shirt, then points at you, mouthing 'off' while he listens to Donghyuck speak about whatever he's speaking. 

"Really? Jeno said that? Tell him I'm more than willing to welcome him as my gym partner, the lad seems strong" Johnny makes a quick move to remove the gadget from his ear, before holding it in front of him after placing the call on speaker mode 

Your eyes widen the moment you hear the disturbance in the background and Donghyuck's voice resonate through the room. "no?? Why would you want to work out with him? He'll only make you feel old, you know?" 

"Says the one who still can't beat me at arm wrestling. If anything, i think Jeno would make the perfect gym buddy for me," Johnny raises an eyebrow at your defiance, cocking his head towards the side, staring down at you with a predatory look, "Hyuck, you know, Y/n-" you scramble to take your shirt off at the mention of your name on the call, "-stopped by earlier" he lets out a silent laugh of disbelief.

"Oh? Oh yeah! I'd told her I'd give her book back before I left but I forgot, did you perhaps give it back to her?" Donghyuck questions. 

"I figured you must've forgotten so, yeah i did." Johnny replies, pushing himself off of the doorframe, now walking towards you. 

"Man, I miss her! I might facetime her after I end the call with you," Johnny sets down the phone beside you on the bed, leaning down, placing both his hands on either side of your lap, finding comfort at the crook of your neck,

"I remember her mentioning something about her cousin coming over? Maybe wait for an hour or so before calling her" his lips graze against your neck each time he spoke, you let out a tiny whimper at the so longed feeling, only to earn yourself a small bite at the earlobe, immediately accompanied by a hand over your mouth, "you need to be quiet, doll. Or my son would find out how much of a slut his best friend is," he whispers in your ear. 

"Yeah? Did she mention which one?" 

"No, not really, she kinda just stormed out after getting what she wanted" Johnny creates a trail of kisses all the way from your neck to your shoulders, down the collarbone while one of his hand worked to unhook your bra, "Yeah, she's weird like that," you hear Donghyuck let out a chuckle as you whine into Johnny's palm, your figure slightly trembling from the fear of getting caught all the while being excited about the risky situation he's put the two of you in. 

"Anyways, I'll call you tomorrow? The boys are coming over now so I got to go! Night, dad!" Donghyuck speaks up again, "Night, Hyuck." 

You hear the beep indicating the call has ended. Johnny let's his hand drop from your mouth and makes its way towards your hair, brushing through the strands before pulling at it with a firm grip, "I had my son on call and here you are making all these sweet noises, you wanted to get busted, doll?" 

"It's not my fault! You-"

"ah-ah! Don't talk back, angel. You're already in deep trouble, don't want to add onto that now, do we?" He makes a swift move to have you lying on your back, your torso completely exposed to him while he remains clothed. 

"But Johnny-" you whine, jolting when you feel his hands caressing the soft flesh of your inner thighs, "How do you think Hyuck would feel about this?" his hands travel further north, cupping your heat from underneath your skirt. "fuck, you're drenched"

"Now tell me, pretty girl, what are you supposed to be calling me, now?" 

"Johnny-, tha-that was a joke! I don't have daddy kin-" you try clenching your thighs close from the sudden attention your core was receiving. Johnny wholeheartedly lets out a laugh at your attempt to hide your true feelings, making a quick act of disregarding your soaked panties somewhere behind him.

"Darling, the more you deny it, the longer we keep going at it-" his thumbs at your clit, applying pressure but making no move to quench your needs. You let out a sigh of bliss at the feeling, your back arching off of the sheets at the sensation.

In any other situation, you'd be embarrassed at how sensitive you'd gotten just from all the dirty talking and looks Johnny passed you. But that's the catch, he's Johnny, the only one who can get you this sensitive while doing the bare minimum. 

"Say it, Y/n." 

"No, Johnny! It's-it's embarrassing.." you plead with your eyes, grinding your hips against his fingers, earning a satisfied, dirty look from the lad. 

"Very well.. I'll just draw it out of you"

Without warning, Johnny with little to no resistance, slides two slender digits into your wetness, setting a pace fast enough to draw loud chains of cries from your mouth.

"You hear that, doll? You hear how fucking wet you are? Hm?" he growls animalistically, the thumb that remained on your clit now moving in circles with a motive to get you undone in seconds. 

"Johnn-..!" you whine out, feeling your orgasm growing so close that you could almost taste it, "Still going at that, angel?" he questions, not really expecting an answer as he soaks up the pleasured look on your face. "Johnny- I'm close.. -" you fail to notice the mischievous grin growing on his face as he speeds up the movement of his fingers. 

"Of course you are, doll" He feels you clench around his fingers, back coming off of the mattress as you ready yourself for your release, waiting until the last minute to draw his finger out.

"Why would you-? Johnn-I was so close!" you cry out as you sense your core clench around nothing, whining about the incomplete orgasm. "Why would I give you what you want when you wouldn't comply, baby? That's not how this works." He shrugs, licking his fingers clean of your essence, moving up from the bed to remove the shirt that seemed to be suffocating now.

"Johnny, please!" you whine louder, rubbing your thighs together to create some sort of friction, all unsatisfactory as it did not meet the same intensity as that of his fingers. 

"Please what, doll?" He smirks, knowing the ball is in his court and that you'd had to give in any moment now. Johnny leans down once again, drawing lazy circles at your clit, using his other hand to hold himself up above and close to you, his minty breath which had a hint of coffee fanning your face as you whimper, finally feeling your high building itself up again. "Spit it out, princess, you know you want to." he speaks in a soft voice.

"Please..please" you beg for nothing in particular, getting all worked up again, "The begging's lovely, doll. But you're starting to anger me here, will you say it? Or should I leave you hanging again?" 

You mutter prayers under your breath, hoping he wouldn't actually leave you hanging again, "Fine-" he moves again to remove his fingers from you to deprive you of pleasure all over again when you finally latch onto his wrist, keeping his hands in place blurting out, "Daddy! I'm so-sorry.. There, daddy, please make me come" you give in, the name, the feeling and look of pure victory on his face as he grins like a cheshire cat only intensifies the heat growing at a rapid pace at the pit of your stomach. 

"Final fucking ly, princess. Daddy will make you feel good" He reinserts his fingers in, drilling it with desperation to see you come undone as he draws rapid circles on your now sensitive clit with the other hand, watching you squirm under him.

"Joh-Daddy i'm coming..!" you cry out weakly as you feel your orgasm hit you with much force, easily driving you into over sensitivity. Johnny's patient in helping you ride out your orgasm, not stopping until you let out a throaty sob and plead him to stop to allow yourself some room to breathe. 

Johnny, however, makes no move to stop, only speeding up his fingers, his gaze fixed on where his fingers disappeared inside of you while his other hand held you down with a vise grip, "Give me one more, doll. I know you've got one more in you. " he pants, the feeling of his girth in confinement only throwing himself to sensory deprivation as he feels himself twitch inside his sweats painfully. 

You shake your head, tears now flowing elegantly down your cheek, your lips puckered into a slight pout, your eyebrows drawn together as you let yourself melt into the pleasure Johnny was providing you with. "Daddy.." 

You whine, feeling your second high reaching you ridiculously quick as you see Johnny's face contort in concentration, 

"I need to get you nice and wet for me, princess, you're doing so well. Give daddy another one" you coaxes you with his sultry tone, words and actions, inevitably having you come undone under him for the second time that night. 

You let out a choked moan, finally having enough as you curl upon yourself the minute Johnny removes his fingers from you, full fledged crying at the overbearing feeling of sensitivity. 

Johnny groans at the sight, leaning down to press a soft peck on your sweaty forehead before getting off of the bed to remove his pants alongside his boxer at a slow speed, granting you some time to recover.

"Condom?" he asks, readying himself to reach into the drawing when he notices you shake your head a no as a reply, "I'm on pills.." you mutter weakly. 

You hear him curse out at the thought of doing you raw, flexing his muscles before climbing on top of you again. He takes his time to gently turn you back onto your back, pressing his tender lips against your irritated one for the first time that night, his hand ever so slightly moving to play with your clit once again, making you jerk, "Daddy!" 

"Sorry, doll. Daddy just needs to make sure that princess is ready to take his cock" 

Your whining intensifies at his words, wiggling your hips to move closer to his own, "But I am ready! Look, daddy! I'm so wet and ready for you!" you whimper, earning a chuckle from the lad. 

Just like all the other times that night, he aligns his cock at your entrance without a warning, the tip ever so slightly pushing through your walls, "Alright, big girl. Show daddy how much of a slut you can be for him."

Suddenly, Johnny detaches himself from you, moving further away as he leans by the edge of the door, smirking at you whining at the loss of contact, "Patience, angel" 

He grabs hold of your hips, manhandling your body into all fours as he enters you completely with no trouble once he's got you where he wants you to be.  

Something about having to take Johnny from behind was so sexy that you could almost immediately feel your orgasm grow, "Fuck baby, keep clenching around me like that and i won't last long," he grunts, moving in you with a steady pace, 

"I never expected my son to befriend such filthy sluts like you, Y/n. Look at the mess you're making on my sheets" He grabs a fistful of your ass in a tight squeeze, the sudden shift in his demeanor only serving as a whiplash as you feel yourself growing closer and closer to the sweet orgasm. 

"Jesus, doll, you're so fucking tight i can barely move" Johnny growls, talking to keep himself from coming too fast. 

"Daddy.. I'm close. M-I'm so so close" you cry as your arms give out and you fall face first onto the mattress, the new stretch in your back only encouraging his cock to hit you deeper, finding the sweet cushion that serves as extra pleasure for you. 

"Me too, princess, me too.. '' You hear him let out a whine, his thrusts growing sloppier as he does you slower but deeper. 

He reaches around your body to find pursuit at your clit for the nth time that night, rubbing rapid, messy circles to go with his deep thrusts, "Daddy!" you reach your high with a high pitched cry of his name. 

Johnny comes not too long after you as he couldn't resist the constant tight clenching of your walls around his cock. He thrust slowly to ride out his high as you twitch helplessly, face scrunched up in too much pleasure. 

You feel your body being manoeuvred onto your side as he whispers sweet nothings which pass right through your ears as you feel him softened inside you, the feeling ridiculously soothing for your used up walls,��

"You did amazing, darling." he kisses your temple, not making any move to remove himself from within you, which you silently thanked him for. 

You both lay in silence as you turned your body towards him, earning a hiss and a playful smack from him as it added pressure onto his sensitive member. You wrap your arms around his torso, about to nuzzle into his chest and just drift away to dreamland when you hear the familiar ring of your phone from the table beside the bed. 

You feel Johnny's body shift to reach out to get your phone, looking at the caller ID before handing it to you with a smirk that you knew meant that he was up to no good. "Oh! It's hyuck" you exclaim in shock, quickly accepting the call and placing it near your ear, moving to get away from him. 

But Johnny seemed to have other ideas, as he latched an arm around your torso to keep you from moving, "Hey-" you begin, immediately feeling Johnny experimentally thrust into you again, making you whine, "Y/n! I miss you~-oh hey, are you okay?" you hear Donghyuck's voice from the other side, 

You look at Johnny with a pleading and warning gaze to which you earn yourself a toothy grin from the lad, 

"Of co-course! Just a little.. peachy,'' You turn around to place a hand on his chest to halt his movement, "You don't sound just peachy.. I've heard you like this before!" you hear Donghyuck make those noises he makes when he's thinking as Johnny keeps thrusting lazily the more you look at him, you see him open his mouth to speak, "Oh fuck! You're getting laid, aren't you???" 

"Tell Hyuck daddy says hi"

[peachycoreroo]

Umm, I got a request! What about their s/o being sick and how they would take care of them? If you feel comfortable with that, you can a spice it up a bit with cockwarming 👀 I'd love to see Sugawara, Kuroo, Satori, Oikawa and Bokuto!

characters: sugawara koushi, kuroo tetsurou, tendou satori, oikawa tooru, bokuto koutaro

genre: fluff, smut, comfort(??)

word count: 1.6k

warnings: fem!reader, it's mostly fluff, cockwarming, hinting at oral fem! receiving, mentions of medication, established relationships

authors note: uhh it got kind of repetetive with the cockwarming so i threw oral in there, but i hope you'll still like it!! if you see kuroo’s being the longest, no you don’t<3 here's a link to my masterlist

sugawara koushi:

sugawara koushi was a good husband in many ways. he was attentive, loving and a great cook, alas a bit aggressively positive whenever you felt insecure or stressed. nothing you couldn’t handle. but as you laid in your shared bed with a cold, you once again were reminded of why you loved him so much.

“so, chicken soup or potato soup?”, suga asked again, after you didn’t respond the first time, being too immersed in your thoughts about him. coughing, you tried to sit up, just to get pushed down again.

“no. no getting up. you stay here, i do everything.” looking up at your silver-haired husband, you smiled softly and finally replied: “chicken, please.”

with a nod, you were once again left alone, just like before sugawara came home from work. ten minutes later, he returned with a steaming bowl and a spoon, sitting down beside you. refusing to make you do anything at all, he insisted on feeding you himself.

“thank you so much, kou’. you make the best chicken soup”, you lovingly whispered as he fed you, making him smile at the compliment you always gave when he cooked it.

after the meal, you reached out towards the elementary school teacher, murmuring: “’wanna be close to you.”

knowing exactly what you wanted, he lied down behind you before taking out his cock and stroking it a few times. as he pushed your panties to the side and slipped inside your tight walls, you felt like you could finally completely relax.

you felt safe in his arms, as he pressed soft kisses along your shoulder, knowing you always had a husband who was willing to take care of your every need.

kuroo tetsurou:

being the girlfriend of kuroo tetsurou, employee at japan volleyball association, was hard at times. a lot of nights and weekends were spent alone, as your boyfriend had to stay overtime at the office on many nights, and, occasionally, even come in on saturdays and sundays.

that didn’t make you love him any less, but it did make for some hard times. for example, right now. it was already 11p.m. and your boyfriend was still nowhere to be seen, while you struggled with a fever the whole day.

having enough of not being able to do anything yourself, you staggered into the kitchen, determined to make some tea. as the kettle heated up, you leaned against the kitchen island, too focused on trying to stand upright to hear the front door opening.

kuroo was tired, but when he heard the kettle boil, indicating that you were still awake, it was like all the pressure from work suddenly lifted off of him. but when he entered the kitchen, excited to finally come home to you, he was only faced with worry at the sight of you, looking like you’re ready to collapse at any moment.

the black-haired man didn’t hesitate to pick you up bridal style, almost giving you a heart attack in the process. “tetsu’! oh my god, you scared me!”, you croakily exclaimed, voice rough from your throat aching.

“m’ sorry baby. you should’ve told me you were sick, ‘would’ve come home earlier”, he scolded, already knowing you didn’t want to bother him at work, no matter how bad you were feeling.

kuroo carried you into the bedroom, placing you on the bed before loosening his tie and putting a large hand on your forehead, checking your temperature.

“i didn’t want you to worry”, you whispered, your fever-consumed brain zeroing in on tetsurou’s exposed collarbones and dress shirt-clad arms. “well, mission failed, because now i definitely am”, he murmured, already leaving the room to continue making the tea you started.

grabbing his hand at the last second, you looked up at him, gaze glazed over with exhaustion. “can we just cuddle, tetsu’? i just want to cockwarm you. ‘wanna feel you after such a long day.”

how could he ever deny you asking so nicely? kissing your forehead, the tall man sighed. 

“anything you want, kitten.”

tendou satori:

tendou knew something was wrong as soon as he woke up. you were restless beside him, sweating and groaning in your sleep, as if a nightmare were haunting you. as he reached out to wake you up, he immediately felt how hot your body temperature was.

with determination to take care of you, the red-haired male fetched some medicine, before finally waking you up. “y/n, sweetie. you’re running a fever, wake up.”

groaning, you turned away from him, not wanting to face the headache that was currently pounding in your head. you could feel your boyfriends’ fingertips gently caressing your arm, as he leaned in and murmured: “if you take your medicine, i’ll let you sit on my lap and sleep all day, sweetheart”, knowing exactly how to get you to take the medication.

you can’t remember when it became a thing in your relationship, but whenever you felt sick, stressed, or just had a bad day, you’d always sit on your boyfriends’ lap, stuffed full of his cock, while you peacefully napped.

groggily opening one eye to look at him, he knew he had you when you slowly sat up and reached out for the medicine he was holding. when the tall man was sure you swallowed, he sat down, leaning against the headboard, and pulled you onto his lap.

it was almost therapeutic for you, as you slowly sunk down on his cock, both of you sighing contently, before burying your face in his neck, ready to lose yourself to sleep once again.

with tendou’s cock inside you, and his large hand stroking your hair, you slowly drifted off.

oikawa tooru:

“tooru, relax. it’s just a cold”, you tried to calm down your boyfriend, currently pacing inside your shared bedroom like a mad man.

“how can i relax when you’re sick! what am i supposed to do? oh my god, what if it gets worse?”

as much as you loved oikawa tooru with all your heart, his flare for the dramatic really didn’t help you in your sick state. this was the first time you caught a nasty virus since moving in with him and it clearly showed that he was the younger sibling in his family, never having to take care of someone, but always being cared for.

you sighed, massaging your temples: “oikawa tooru, you’re going to give me a headache. i just need some tea and sleep. i’m not going to die.”

“are you sure?”, he looked at you, worried. “it sounds like you want me to”, you deadpanned, making your boyfriends dramatic ass crack a smile.

“no, i definitely don’t, y/n. don’t worry. mission ‘tea for my sick girlfriend’: in action.” and with that, he disappeared into the kitchen, finally giving you space to take a deep breath. it’s not as if he annoyed you by any means, you knew he was just worried about you.

when the brunet reappeared with a steaming cup of tea, you had an idea as to how to calm him down.

“babe, lay down.” oikawa gave you a quick, puzzled look, before doing as he was told, not quite understanding where you were going with this. as you turned your backside to him and fondled for his cock, he quickly stopped you. “wait! wait, what are you doing?”

“if you want to help me, just slip inside and let me sleep.”

the setter looked at you, as if you grew two heads, only getting out a ‘huh?’ at your statement. rolling your eyes, you guided him inside you and cuddled up with your back against his chest, explaining: “it just makes me feel safe. i know you’re not leaving me to suffer alone.”

oikawa didn’t know that he could feel this soft while he had his dick inside someone, but there’s a first for everything.

bokuto koutaro:

“’taro, i know you mean it in the best way possible, but you know i won’t be able to eat that.”

bokuto koutaro was a great husband. you could even say the best, but that might be your bias talking. unfortunately, he couldn’t cook if his life depended on it, and as much as you appreciated his efforts of wanting to take care of you while you felt under the weather, your will to live a little longer was stronger.

pouting, the spiker looked at you with puppy dog eyes. “but baby, i want to make you feel better! how am i supposed to do that, when you don’t even let me cook for you”, your oversized husband whined.

“koutaro. baby. light of my life. the last time you wanted to surprise me by making dinner, you nearly burned down the whole house. how am i supposed to relax and get better, when i’m going to be worrying about you burning yourself to death?”, you asked gently, knowing how upset he can get when he feels useless.

already seeing bokuto’s face drop more and more with every word, you immediately followed with: “but i know how you can make me feel better without any dangerous kitchen activities involved.”

at that, he perked up. “really?”

slowly parting your legs, you looked at him expectingly. without having to say another word, the tall spiker was already between your legs, taking of your panties and licking a stripe up your slit.

when he heard your content sigh and felt you relax, he knew this was the best thing he could do for you.

[mistress-of-ward]

Title: Come here baby

Summery: This is a request from the one and only beautiful @daddysgirl657 also want to thank my love @nitannichionne for editing my work.

Warnings: unprotected sex, body fluids, cock warming, rough sex, fluff

Please be sure to hit that like button and reblog, I would absolutely appreciate it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Henry Cavill ..... but he does live in my head rent free, no complaints he's pretty good. I do not own the gif nor this divider I found it on pinterest from @myfonts-blog

“It’s clenching,” you breathe as tears come to your eyes. “It hurts...”

“Come sit in my lap...” He says in a low voice, opening his legs slightly. “right here”

You walk to him wiping your tears and start to quicken your step. As you make it you sit on his lap clinging to him.

You whisper the words “it hurts” over and over again in his ear, your hips moving as you speak the words, the more you say the more your body reacts, your hips grinding. You start to thrust as one of your arms goes around his shoulder while the other hand grips his hair. Using that as leverage you ride him harder pushing your clothed pussy on him to rub it fully on his length. You pant and moan as you keep rubbing, each breath a thrust right against his ear, the hot air over his skin. You grip him hard and rough but your movements are smooth as silk. Your legs wrap around him tightly and you move one hand to grip the chair you are sitting on. Holding it tight you use it to keep you seated to help you stimulate your clit. As you move your sex to the left you feel your lip open and you move the other way feeling the same thing. You move left and right, up and down to round and round on his lap, feeling your wetness spread onto your panties. The more you drag your wet slit on him the more you feel your panties being consumed in between those lips helping the sensation of stroking your clit and teasing you with the cloth inside your slit.

He holds you close, his heart racing, watching your agony with intense eyes, feeling your heat even through the clothes. He gets harder, one hand splaying your back the other at the nape of your neck twisting in your hair.

You feel the pull of the cloth partly eaten and fully soaked by your cunt as his hand rakes your hair. He pulls your head back, exposing your neck then you feel his other hand move from your back to the front of your body. His eyes travel down your body and he sees the result of what you were doing, "Fuck, baby,” he moans in a whisper, seeing the lining lost within your lips. He brushes them and brings his finger to the edge of the panty and hooks his finger under the leg opening, running it along your thigh to your crotch. He pulls out the fabric once his finger is at your hood, and lets out a hiss as the scent of your juices meets his nose and his wandering finger meets slickened texture of your folds. He licks his lips as he curves his finger within your cunt, the heat of it makes him moan. It radiates on him and surrounding his dipped finger. “Fuck, kitten, it's been too long hasn't it?" He looks up at you as your head is fallen back feeling him moving his digit in and out of you.

"Yes daddy, I need it please, please daddy," you moan, voicing the feelings of what your cunt wants from him.

"Aw, my sweet," he whispers low as he watches you, but this isn’t about you giving in or disciplining you. This moment is all about him feeding your need of his love, filling you, submerging you in his deep waters-to be taken, impregnated, and claimed all in love. He strokes your back to soothe you.

Lowering your head you see his eyes are on you. Watching his face and seeing his pain only reflects that he knows you feel.

"I'm so sorry baby, I've been so busy I didn't mean to neglect you in all this."

Placing your forehead against his, you close your eyes, moans trapped in your throat as you ride his now still finger. "Its ok daddy I—I understand." You move up and down and his finger isn’t doing it for you, your head falls back feeling his finger flick and curve within you. He places kisses on your neck and decorates it with love bites.

Looking down he watches your juices string on is hand, you move up he sees the clear liquid. Your cunt swallows his finger fully aware that his pussy wants to choke on his cock. He angles his finger as you start to bounce on it, closing your eyes and gripping his shoulder. Your mouth hangs open as your moans fill the room. He knows how and where to touch you. You hear his pants every time you drop your full body weight onto his lap. You feel his heart pound in his chest under your palm as he sees how desperate you are for him. "You want my cock princess ? Hmm? Want daddy to spoil you?" His body radiates heat and desire and it started the moment he felt yours inviting him in.

Nodding your head and feeling your walls clench the moment he mentions his cock.

He smiles looking at you, "I felt that, kitten. It seems like my finger isn't doing it for you."

"If it's all daddy can give I'll take it."

"Tsk tsk tsk," he moves his head to the side, "You think I'd do that to my needy little cunt?" The T was spit out aggressively, "Hmm? To my desperate and cock hungry slut?" He bites each syllable as if annoyed that you don’t think he is willing to give you the world.

"No, daddy, that's not what I meant," you get off his lap and on your knees in front of him. You go to undo his pants shaking your head, "No, daddy, that's not what I meant." He watches you act like you will be punished.

"Hey, I love you."

Your eyes meet, and your own waters. Those words, regardless of how many times you've heard them, still heals and mends all the wounds upon your heart and soul. Slowly but surely he could heal you, his hand cups your cheek and you hold that same hand with yours. Rubbing against it you have a moment looking into one another's eyes, "Please daddy, please?" you whisper.

He touches your face like a feather ever so softly as you both look into each other’s eyes. Then as if coming back to the present he quickly unfastens his trousers and his hand moves to his belt, waking you up from the trance. You sit there watching him unbuckle then unbutton and then unzip. He hooks his thumbs in his pants thrusting his hips up pulling them down to his knees. As he pulls it down he drags his boxers with it, his cock springs free and is at full attention rocking back and forth to a stand still. His long thick rod is in front of you, veins flexing and the skin tight as it is erect, the head darker than pink from the rush of blood.

Your mouth opens at seeing him and without a thought your hand wraps around his cock. He is hot under your palm, breathing shakily at the contact. He chuckles seeing your reaction. "You alright?"

Looking up again at his eyes his smile fades seeing you stand up and ridding yourself of your panties. Standing there in your shirt and skirt you pull the fabric along your knees up slightly to line yourself up to fully sheathe his cock inside your starving cunt. His mouth agape as he widens his legs and moves his hand to grip your thigh. You place your hand on his shoulders to help balance you, bending your left leg his hand strokes you. His hand brushes your knee, shin, moving up to grip the back of your thigh pulling it up and his other hand holds you steady by the hip. His breathing quickens watching how close you are to taking him inside of you as he restrains himself from just pulling you down on him in one swift motion. He licks his lips and tries to steady his breathing. While you are about to meet his head he moves his thumb to your pussy lip. He moves it so there is nothing in the way and no discomfort for you, the heat is felt between the both of you. It's been too long since you've had him pound your sex and as you anticipate the beautiful stretch you bite your lip and whimper. Your body hot to the touch, even your juices don’t cool off being exposed to the air. His head now meets you and he won’t stop looking but for you the angle doesn't give you that advantage. He watches his head push apart your inner lips and you moan at the sensation of his warm skin meeting yours. Feeling him split you apart you hear the wetness of your sex as his head moves in and out.

You both moan at the sensation of finally meeting, the heat of your sex surrounding his cock. His head falls back but he wants to watch what you're making him feel, "fuck" he breaths. Forcing himself to keep his eyes on your center feeling the warmth of you around the head of his cock. Thrusting in and out becoming more deeper feeling your walls spread but still so damn tight. His chest heaves and you cry out while he works to be fully inside you, his hands gripping your hips. The delicious force of him spreading you makes you wet, he feels your juices close to your cervix as his head meets it. Dipping his head over and over again at the lake hidden within you he can spread your waters all against your walls.

Hearing your juices and feeling his cock become wet with it is making you more excited. His hands hold you but not to keep you still, you start to bounce on him.

"Fuck, oh look at you go kitten, yes, yes just like that," you start to grind down on him and he lets out a loud groan, "OH!!!"

You both pant and moan in between the feel of each other’s bodies becoming one and lost in desire. Knowing what is needed for the other and working to meet it comes so naturally to you both. He starts to pull and push your hips as you grind on him then he pushes up finally bottoming out. "Oh, daddy fuck!"

Holding onto his shoulders biting your lip you look down to him. His eyes are blown with lust as his hands snake up to your breasts squeezing them then pulling it open breaking the buttons off your shirt. They fly everywhere from the force of his action, making you moan and causing your core to pulse. He moves the shirt off your shoulder to your elbows. He now has your breasts pushed together and he starts to snap his hips up causing your voluptuous breasts to slightly bounce out of your bra. Your nipples peek through at him teasingly and you watch his gaze become intense. "So beautiful love, absolutely gorgeous."

Acting as if he is jealous of anything touching your flesh, he takes off your shirt and pulls down your straps, settin your breasts free. He plays and squeezes your nipples in between his fingers, his arm going around you to pull you closer. He holds one breast, sucking on it and swirling his tongue in the same motion he grinds his cock inside you. Such an amazing feeling of being moved from within and feeling him upon you, you surrender your entire being. He's going to make your body scream out yes and you will be begging him for more. Feeling so much around you it's hard to think, but your body knows what to do. His eyes closed shut as he lavishes your breasts he nips your nipple causing you to hiss. Your head falls back and you arch wrapping your arms around his neck holding him against you. Gripping your shoulder and the other around your waist he pistons his hips up. Feelin him driving his cock to rub against your walls touching every part of you and even deeper, his head hitting your cervix, makes your eyes roll close. You moan his name, "Henry!" over and over again as he pants breathing hot air onto your skin.

Standing up from the chair he lays you on the desk and you are already clinging onto him. The motion of his movements don't faze you, still lost in all he's making you feel as your back meets the wooden surface.

Looking down at you his eyes reflect his words, "you mean everything to me."

As he speaks he pushes and pulls his cock within you like the moon does with the tide of the ocean. You stroke his face softly as you gaze up at him overwhelmed, all you can do is pull him down and passionately kiss him back. He moans into the kiss and grips your hips starting a menacing rhythm, you claw his biceps feeling his cock still stretching you. Trying to keep up with him kissing you while taking his relentless thrusts your mouth stays open panting with each snap of his hips. His hand moves in between your bodies and he touches his cock with his thumb lubricating it. Wetting his thumb he rubs your clit perfectly, making you arch and moan out.

"Such a good little slut, taking my cock so well." His words send chills all over your body and your cunt quivers as heat spreads all over. Your head moving side to side, your raise your legs to your chest then you grip your inner thighs keeping them there. "You love it when I fuck you like this huh? So needy, so beautiful, and so mine."

He moans feeling you get close to your release. His hand grips your throat and your eyes leave his to look down at where he is ruining you. You watch your cunt choke on his cock as juices cover it like saliva from your mouth, glistening and showing you how there is no shame letting him know that you are his little slut, owned by him. Listening to beautiful his words as they fill your mind then flow in your veins as it beats through your heart, but the one that now is captured by you is Mine. His hand grips your throat and you look at him tears falling from your eyes then down to where he is ruining you. Watching your cunt choke on his cock as juices cover it like saliva from your mouth. Glistening and showing you how she has no shame letting him know that she is owned by him she is his little slut. Starting to squirt out as your walls tighten down around his cock, you scream out his name as you cum. "HENRY!”

He doesn't stop rubbing but he slows down his thrusts, keeping them strong and causing you to bounce. Luckily his hand is still on your throat keeping you in place, you stop breathing and your back arches as your legs spread.

Your pussy soaking wet and you can hear his thickening cock come close to release and you breathe in, "Cum with me daddy, please daddy." He starts to move faster again. His brows furrow running to catch his release and fill you with it, as you are about to run into yours. Screaming out, you moan and cum around his cock again, but he isn’t there yet, "I said to cum with me" you whine.

He looks down and smiles at you, "You never said when," and he brings you closer again.

Your breathe hitches getting lost in the sensation of what he is doing to your body. You scream out gripping onto him as he pistons into you, feeling yourself gush around him making him slow down. He wants to touch you in places deep within you desiring to merge not knowing where your bodies end or begin. The intensity makes sweat start to form upon your body. He works you out of love and need, wanting to fill you to the brim.

Digging your nails into his back makes come up on his elbows and arch. Looking down he adorns you with kisses as he pushes in and out in a grind motion. Your head falls back feeling every detail of his cock as he strokes your walls. "That's it baby, oh you look so sexy taking my inch of my cock." Hearing him speak and tell your truth pulls out a moan from you. He's filled all your senses and now all that’s left is to fill you physically. "Such a good girl for me." He stops his hips, his head still in you.

You unintentionally whine as your soaking core is empty, your walls clenching as if wondering where his cock went. He smiles at you as he comes down to kiss you. "I love you," you whisper against his lips.

Keeping eye contact he starts to push his cock into you painfully slow, but for him it was the best. To watch you come undone and to feel it at the same time, no words can describe such an experience. You writhe, pant, moan and then you throw your head back the deeper he gets. Such passion only can compare to fire your bodies fuel, the joining and rubbing is what creates the spark and once it touches your skin it will burn you both alive. Your eyes study his face, seeing the stress of him holding back, veins bulging in his neck as his jaw clenches. Fully submerged inside you he places his forehead upon yours, "I love you too," He pulls back to look into your eyes as if he is asking for permission to empty inside you/

You nod your head, "Cum inside me, please."

Breathing out in relief, he takes a second then hisses in as he grips your hips. Beginning to pound in your pussy chasing his orgasm now you see his agony of his want for you. His head falls back holding onto you probably leaving marks and you scream out yes over and over. He is thickening within you, sweat dripping down his body, you still losing your mind at his pace and strength. "Yes daddy put a fucking baby in me, fuck my pussy up daddy!"

His thrusts get sloppy as he tries to keep them going his moans getting higher and louder as they are filled in more with his voice. His eyebrows furrow right before the tipping point, making him say your name over and over, "I'm gonna cum, I'm cumming, oh fuck I'm gon—" his moan fills the room as he violently fills you. His hips snap into you as he brings his body down on yours, sedated and relaxed he tries to calm his breathing. On instinct you hold onto him and stroke his back with your fingertips and kiss along his jaw line. He shakes with each thrust still coming down from his mountain high climb, both of you panting exchanging words of love and adoration. With little strength that he has left he props himself up on his elbows and kisses you deeply. Reaching into the desk he has now christened he pulls out a little black box, "You mean the world to me," he lets out a breathy chuckle, "I don’t know if this is an appropriate time to do this--I mean, I had a plan--but now seems to be it." He opens it to reveal a gorgeous diamond ring.

You gasp, "omgosh, are you serious?!?!" Your hands cover your mouth.

“We've been with each other for sometime now and I can't see myself without you by my side," he gently pushes wet strands of hair away from your face. Licking his lips, he takes out the ring and takes your left hand, and you quickly give it to him. You both laugh at how abrupt your action was he smiles down,

"Y/n, you mean the world to me and I want to be with you for the rest of life," tears are falling from your eyes and he has some brimming at his lash line. "I promise to keep you safe, happy, be there for you as long as you are next to me, forever."

Wiping your tears away you nod your head yes, "Yes, yes," both of you glowing from the love you just made and now with the happiness of a future together. You both exchange kisses, he chuckles and you giggle, then you both have a moment of silence as if love had taken a form and become a blanket covering you both. "I can't and don't want anyone else but you, Henry." Your lips meet for a slow and sensual kiss then as your eyes fill and hold each other with devotion not wanting to let go.

DM me if you would like to be on my taglist

Taglist:

@ah-blossom @nitannichionne @summersong69 @henrycavillworld @henrycavillunited @henrycavill1 @aquariuslavenderhoney @viking-raider @madbaddic7ed @sparklesmolwarriorprincess @star017 @scorpionchild81 @pringlepapi @seriouslygoodlookinggents @littlefreya @snowbellexx @loverofallfandoms99 @cavilliciousness @tiffanypooh @fuckoffbard @sugarmelonwater @unicornbitchface @could-be-cavill @daydreamin83 @sausagefest1996 @readermia @littlebrattyangel @henryobsessed @henryfanfics101 @sofiebstar @modernmorticiaa @cavillvirus @lady-evans @exchelsior @lindsaytriestowrite @madelinelina @october505 @cavillforever @henrycavilledits @henrycavillobsessed @gioiswriting @tricenorthman-blog @henrythickcavill @aestheticallywinchester @dearlybelovedluke @kinbhot4henners @cutiecherriepie @inlovewithhisblueeyes

[hollandsmoose]

the way home

A/N: This was just supposed to be a tiny blurb, but once I got started, I just couldn't shut up again. So here you go, my loves, here's 1.6k of pure friends-to-lovers fluff!

—————

You should have brought a jacket. You realize that the second you step out of the pub, Tom a few meters ahead of you and therefore unable to see the way you shudder when the cool air hits your skin.

It's just a short walk home from the pub, you'd told yourself, I don't need a jacket. God, you'd been wrong. Curse your past self for not trusting your instincts. It may be mid-July, and it may have been pretty warm when you left your flat earlier, but you should've known better than to not bring a jacket on a night out. You really should have learned not to trust the English weather by now. Tom doesn't seem to be struggling with the weather as he turns around to face you, but that makes sense. He's got a nice, pretty thick denim jacket on, and here you are, bare arms exposed to the elements.

"You ready to go?" Tom asks, nodding in the general direction of your flat. When you give him a nod back, he grins and offers you his arm. "Lead the way, miss." You can't help but giggle, your cheeks warming as you close the distance between the two of you and accept his offer.

"What a gentleman," you tease him, trying to ignore how mushy holding his arm like this makes you feel. As you start walking, you gently nudge him with your shoulder, making him look at you curiously. "Thanks for walking me home, Tom."

He merely shrugs, a small smile on his lips. "You don't need to thank me. I'm just making sure you get home alright,"

You squeeze his bicep. "Well, it still means a lot,"

It's not that this is the first time he's walked you back to your place from the pub after a night out together, but, usually, it's been somewhat of a group effort. Tom and the other boys, his housemates who you're lucky enough to call your friends too, would normally walk you home together, but, tonight, Tuwaine, Harry and Harrison seemed like they were only just getting started by the time you were ready to leave. So Tom had very kindly suggested that he could walk you home himself, and the lads had whistled and cheered at that - like the idiots they are. You told them off and called them dickheads, but there was no denying that your mind had gone to a similar place for a second too. It was just wishful thinking, though.

Tom is your friend. Just your friend. And yes, perhaps he's a friend you've been hopelessly in love with for months now, yet he's still just a friend. And yes, he calls you 'darling' and flirts with you, and he calls you when he's abroad, just so he can hear your voice, but that's just how he's always been with you. That's just how he is, really. It doesn't have to mean anything.

You haven't got very far when the cold begins to really affect you, every small gust of wind feeling like a thousand tiny icicles stabbing your skin. Granted, basically being snuggled up to Tom helps, his body quite warm, but it's not enough. So you can't help it when a violent shiver runs through you, making you hiss. Tom immediately stops dead in his tracks, unlinking your arms, and you're just about to ask him what he's doing when he gives you the answer without saying a word. He slips off his jacket and holds it out in front of you, and when you realize what he's implying, you have to protest.

"Oh, no, no," you say, shaking your head adamantly. "You'll get cold!"

"Well, you're already cold!" he argues and chuckles at the way you scoff at that. "And besides, I'd rather be cold than be an arsehole."

You know there's no point in trying to deny him. You know Tom, and you know he won't budge. So, with a sigh, you turn around and let him drape his jacket over your shoulders. A warmth spreads in your body, and you know it's not just from the extra layer. The jacket even smells like him - that sweet mixture of his cologne and the shower gel he uses.

He smirks as you face him again, giving you a once-over. "You always look great in my clothes," That's all he says before offering you his arm again, and, absolutely fucking dumbfounded, you just take it. God, you complain to yourself, why must he say shit like that? Can't he see what it does to me?

Tom doesn't seem to notice, however, happily chatting away about something that happened on one of his walks with Tessa. You do notice how he seems to pull you even closer to him, though. It's just because he's cold. That's what you tell yourself. But then he pulls you so close that you're completely pressed against his side, and it just feels… different.

You look around, acutely aware that anyone could see you like this, but the streets seem fairly empty, save for a few late-night joggers and dog walkers. So you let yourself relax into Tom, enjoying how it feels to be with him like this. You can't keep yourself from imagining how it would feel to be like this forever.

It's not something you get to fantasize about for a long time, though. Because then you turn the corner onto your street, and you know your time with him tonight is running out. You hate that you'll have to let him go, your two bodies having basically melted together at this point. And when you reach your house, you almost whine as Tom disentangles the two of you. But, even then, he doesn't really let go of you, taking your hand in his. You feel the heat creeping into your cheeks when he steps a little closer to you, and you gulp as he squeezes your hand.

"I've missed you, darling," Tom tells you, exhaling shakily. "More than I think you know."

"I've missed you too, Tom," you reply, trying not to think too much about what he just said, but his words are already haunting you. "Probably more than you've missed me."

You don't know why you say that. The words just fall out of your mouth, your filter seemingly gone. His brows draw together in confusion as he takes in your answer, and then he shakes his head gently. When he releases your hand, you feel like you've really fucked up.

He tilts his head slightly. "What makes you say that?"

You shrug, willing away the tears forming in your eyes. "I don't know,"

"It's okay,"

"I'm sorry,"

"Don't be," Tom assures you, smiling softly. "But you're wrong," His hand comes up to cup your cheek, and when his eyes flicker down to your lips, it's like it really dawns on you what he's trying to say. "Because I've missed you so... so…" He leans in a little until his breath is intermingling with your own, and you're trembling in anticipation, your eyes half-lidded. "Much." As soon as Tom finishes talking, he closes the distance, and then his mouth is on yours.

You're not surprised, but you are a bit stunned - everything you've dreamed about seemingly coming true. And for just a second, you find yourself worrying that this is just a dream; that none of this is real. But it is. His scent filling your nose is real. The touch of his hand on your face is real. His kiss is real.

And then you throw yourself into it, your hands settling on his chest and your fingers grabbing the fabric of his shirt quite desperately. Tom sighs, contented, his one arm wrapping around you as he presses his lips to yours again, far less hesitant this time. There's no stopping the soft gasp that leaves you then.

It feels like your bodies can't possibly get any closer, yet you still find new ways to melt into one another. Your tongues begin to explore each other, and your hands start to do the same to each other's bodies. You can scarcely breathe, but you can't bear the thought of parting with his kiss. And if worse comes to worst, death by kissing seems like a pretty good way to go.

You arch into Tom when his hands travel down your back, and the movement knocks off his jacket that had been draped over your shoulders. You barely sense it, but there's an audible thud as it lands on the pavement behind you. That, you can't help but notice.

He chases your lips as you pull away, but he doesn't protest against the separation. You're both breathing as though you've just run a fucking marathon, and you can't even get out a few simple words to tell him what happened. You just loosely gesture to the jacket on the ground, a sight that makes Tom giggle.

He's the one who picks it up, and you're kind of expecting him to put it on again. He probably has to get back to the lads at the pub, you lament to yourself. But Tom doesn't move. He just stands there and looks at you, eyes dark as he takes you in. He's kissed you into a complete mess, and you're sure you must look like one too.

"I should get back to the pub," he says, but Tom still doesn't move. The grin on his face is more than enough proof to you that he doesn't want to go anywhere. "Unless… unless you want me to stay?" You know what he's really asking. And you do want that, of course, but you still pretend like you actually have to think about it for a few minutes, biting your lip as in thought. You give him a nod.

"I do. But on one condition," you bargain, smirking mischievously, and his eyes light up. "You have to kiss me like that again." And that's an offer he can't refuse.

—————

taglist: @spideycents @linanilssonfurberg @to-the-road

(hit me up if you wanna be on the taglist!)