#if im back on here tonight shank me

[todayisafridaynight]

mask time

[storiesofsvu]

Law and Order thoughts for tonight

as per usual, here we go. honestly tonight, I was NOT into the other shows but svu did me good!

Okay, here we go.

Already completely forgot what happened on OC last week thank god for that recap LOL.

A (potentially) evil woman in an all white power suit!? Yes please

Okay, if she doesn’t turn out to be the mastermind I’m gonna be a little disappointed because she’s got balls and power and knows what she’s doing and he’s a little dweeb man…

Boss ass bitch is a boss ass bitch. Why do I always end up rooting for the bad guys wife? What is this show doing to me? Lolololol

“I just lost a UC last year” uh… Ayanna… are you two for two?

Oh… okay… we *were* talking about Gina despite that being in s1? Okay. What happened to Nova? Is she still alive?

Also this guy showed up in jail, started stirring the pot and got shanked, what did he expect?

Yeah pearl’s the one in charge and I’m so here for it. (also she definitely pegs him and you cannot tell me otherwise)

Oh but he’s got dirt on her? Great. Fuck this shit

Big shock. I’ve already completely stopped paying attention. Is it svu time yet??

The guy playing Russo has been on svu multiple times as multiple characters lololol. Including as Kim’s pimp in s17…

New guy’s hot… I’ll give him that LOL (is he though? Or is it just because he’s been on screen with stabler all episode?)

My stream cut out… wtf…. Im doing this legally…. LOL

Okay, got it back but now the subtitles aren’t working… *sigh*

Onto the mothership!!

Bro. this first suspect was on svu already… lort (I THINK he was the perp in the ep where the perp’s dad was olivia’s old partner/the guy from ER lol)

WHY is this girl wandering around in her underwear?? Like is this not a full fledged apartment building?

I do love Kate. Like, her and Samantha are the best part of this show. Would love to get to see Kate more in action, or have her pop up on svu to work with benson. Bad ass superior women. We stand.

Mehcad has a bomb fucking suit. Lookin bomb sir.

“I stopped listening when you said I was right” LOL. That’s a mood. Also I dare you say that to Melinda warner.

SAM FINALLY IN THE CORTROOM SOLO?!?! THANK FUCK (I know it’s just arraignment, but still…)

Everybody got blue suits this ep… im here for it.

God. This jerry guy is pissing me off. Then again, I always take the lawyers side, like 90% of the time because THAT is how things get solved/people get punished and justice is had like, ffs, how hard is it to do your job properly??

There’s 15 mins left in this ep…. I don’t think we’re going to get to court… hopefully SVU takes us to court tonight?? Cause I NEED SOME COURT ROOM IN MY LIFE.

Oh okay, here we are… but like… still.. not enough. We need more courtroom pls.

Oh good fucking GOD. WHY. I HATE THIS GUY. I get it, you want to make things right after fucking up the car search but THIS IS NOT THE WAY. Uuggghhhh. Is it svu time yet?!

“we” found it!?! NO SIR YOU!!!! Found it. Ffs. I hate it here.

He gained points by kicking him out I will not lie.

OKAY FUCKING FINLALY SVU TIME.

Grace looks amazing with the high pony, already into this.

I’M SORRY NO FUCKING STRAIGHT WOMAN HOLDS A CUP OF COFFEE LIKE THAT. MUNCY IS BI AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.

Omg all the wardrobe remarks are killing me. Does olivia not remember how she used to dress??

“do I look like the kind of girl who gets a pedicure?” I rest my case.

“oh yeah with which hand?” HAAA MUNCY GOING FOR THE KILLS HERE YESSS.

Yeah these two have major brother sister vibes PLEASE don’t force them together.

THAT BEING SAID… I do need the BOTH of them to *destroy* me and im not gonna complain if it’s at the same time…

Muncy really out here proving she’s fucking bomb

OHKAY GRACE PLEASE!! YOU ARE SITTING ON THAT DESK LIKE A FUCKING LESBIAN. I SWEAR TO GOD IF THEY TRY TO TELL ME SHE’S STRAIGHT!?? I WILL RIOOOOTTT

Imma have so fucking much to gif from this episode, jfc.

Okay they did a slightly better job of clearing this crime scene but its still not as good as Chicago.

YEEESSS WE STAN A SMOL KWEEN TAKING DOWN A GIANT PERP! FUCK!

Muncy’s getting sassed to wear a blazer meanwhile velasco’s wearing a dress shirt as a blazer… ffs

Jesus CHRIST amanda’s cheekbones…

Muncy back in a hoodie at the end of the episode lololol. Girl. You should’ve bought more than one blazer.

Olivia’s hair looks bomb!

Kelli… your side boob is showing…

Okay, that was a fucking good episode. I KNOW I was just complaining about the lack of court scenes, but this needed a full episode of just working the case/cases. And it gave us a little insight more into the new characters, gave us some personal lives, and the like. So… I’m here for it.

[mack-and-cheese]

Everytime I start trying to be productive I start crying wtf

[toxicbubblegum212]

Imagine dancing up on your boys - Maze runner

Reactions 

Minho: Damn i know girls are attractive but this Greenie is something else. I’d definitely take a bite out of that, but i’m pretty sure i would rather want this one all to myself. 

Headcannons - How it went down 

- Your having fun your ass jiggle, raking your finger’s through your hair and making your hips sway 

- Minho would have a front row seat with Gally. 

- Minho’s eyes wouldn’t break away from you for a second. 

- His eyes would be running all over you. 

- Minho would be man spreading whilst smirking at you. 

- He’d occasionally lick and bite his lips

- This boy wants you! 

- Don’t be surprised if Minho gets up and tries to start interacting with you

- Minho would defiantly get all up in your grill trying to sexually intimidate you 

- Your nose’s would be touching. 

- Minho would be staring at your lips 

- You would be able to feel his breath on your neck 

Be careful Greenie you got a real thirsty boy here. 

Newt: (At first) *Blushes looking away not wanting to disrespect you in any way shape or form. (later on) *Smirk and laughing ass off at how easily you’ve gotten power over the shanks. “You know what i think it’s time i put a little Greenie back in their place.” 

Headcannons

(the bomb fire has finished and your walking over to the homestead just you an Minho) 

- Minho would be trying so hard to convince you to sleep by him tonight. “You really don’t want to be sleeping with a buff handsome guy like me?” 

- Newt would march over telling Minho to back off and get back to the homestead. 

- Newt would glare straight at you.

- “You can get your ass up into my room, thats where you’ll be staying from now on.” 

- “No..” you never really liked being told what to do 

- “I think you forget the real one with the power here.” He whispers in your ear.

- Newt would drag you by your wrist all the way up the two-story building and into his room 

- Newt would shove you in and lock the door. 

- “Lets get one think straight from here on out you are mine and only mine. The only person you will answer to that isn’t me is Alby.” 

- “Your only gonna shake that ass for me Greenie” 

- Newt would force you to give him lap dances, strip, toy with him and much more. 

- Newt knows that he would never get this opportunity again 

- You admit you like this side of Newt through he can be with rough with you. 

Looks like you got yourself in a real tight situation Greenie. 

Thomas: “Woah....” *Chokes on drink, blushes like crazy and starts fantasising about you.*

Headcannons 

- Thomas wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off you. 

- Thomas would bite and lick his lips whilst watching you. 

- Later he would start to hiss and pant and his pants start getting tight. 

- Thomas would beg you to help him out. 

- You would be able to see his eyes pleading with you. He looked beautiful in such a vulnerable state. 

- Thomas would treat you like his queen. 

- He would just about anything you say. 

- He’s addicted to you and he will always want more. 

Good job Greenie you turned Thomas into a simp. 

Gally: “You better bring that ass back over here baby girl or im gonna have to punish you.”

Headcannons 

- Gally definitely wants you all to himself 

- This Shank very protective and possessive

-  You wouldn’t have a choice Gally would force you to stay by his side the rest of the night. 

- He would want you sitting in his lap. 

- He would keep his hand around your waist 

- Would definitely glare at other gladers especially Thomas.

- Would give you kisses on the check

- Gally would also kiss your neck regardless of if your in public or not. 

- Gally isn’t the one for public displays of affection but he wants you and he wants everyone else to know that. He enjoys looking at there pissed of expressions know that the can’t do anything. 

- At the end of the night Gally wants you sleep with him, your head on his chest and curled up close 

- Your so unpredictable and thats what he loves the most. 

Not bad Greenie 

[nakunakunomi]

Hi hazel! I hope you're doing well, may i request a fem s/o of Shanks who feels invisible and is starting to get bitter because of it and Shanks comforts her? Scenario if you would. Please and thank you!

Hi Sky! :D As discussed in PM, the reader is now genderneutral <3 Im sorry it took so long but I hope you enjoy! 

Not weak, just loved - Shanks x Reader 

2nd person. Genderneutral reader. 1.5k words. Fluffy comfort fic. 

All the men on the Red Force were exceptionally talented. Years of experience, sailing all the seas, winning and losing battles, mostly winning though.... everything had contributed to the strength and confidence they now had. And it was necessary, after all, the crew of a Yonko cannot possibly be weak, especially not with such a small crew compared to the others. 

And yet. You were not as strong as the men on the ship. You were the only one who had only been there for a little while, not as a pirate initially, but as their captain’s partner of a few years. You were not weak, Shanks wouldn’t have let you sail with him if you were for your own safety. You could hold your own against most of the average pirates and other annoyances you ran into, which weren’t that many anymore, at this point most people knew who you were and knew better than to just attack part of a yonko’s crew without a solid plan, but compared to the others? You were nothing. At least that was what it felt like. 

Whenever the crew was training, you felt left out. There was nothing you could do really, unless they went really easy on you, but you could tell that they'd want to go all out sometimes, preferring to spar with crewmates they knew they wouldn't hurt in case something went wrong. You were "too frail" for that. It was often the main subject of their jokes, and you always laughed along with them, trying to hide just how much that actually hurt. 

Whenever they were sitting around a fire on an island, telling each other stories and reminiscing about islands visited years ago, you couldn't step in or add to the stories, your voice noticeably more quiet and soft amongst their deep and raucous voices. On top of that, you had only joined the crew a few years ago, and most of these stories were just that for you, stories. For you, they were not memories, but just stories that got wilder every time you heard them. 

It just all piled on. Negative after negative after negative. There were so many occasions where you felt weak, useless, a burden. And before you know those words were just on repeat in the back of your mind. You weren’t expected to help around too much on the ship, but you tried wherever you could, just so you could pass the time whenever Shanks was busy doing all his captain things, and you were usually sent away with some laughter and a comment that help was not needed. The crew did not mean this in any malicious way, just wanted to make sure you could relax and not overwork lest they had to hear the captain complain about them shoving work onto his love and tiring them out before he could do so, but to you, it just felt like them sneering at you for not being useful and you just felt yourself become more and more bitter every single time it happened.

Today you were finally docking on a new island after a few long weeks at sea. You were supposed to be excited about land underneath your feet, and new fresh food, but you could hardly find any enthusiasm to bring up. It would be the same as always. Supply shopping, maybe a little date with Shanks, which would be the highlight of your day, and then they would go to a bar, drink the place dry, get some more booze, and party on the beach until the sun came up again. Then the next day rinse and repeat until the ship was all stocked up and the log pose reset, and you and the crew would move onto the next island. You were not feeling up to it at all. You just knew that you would not be allowed to help load things onto the ship cause they were too heavy. You knew more stories would come that would never include you. And you were just not feeling up to that at all. 

So when you heard the familiar sounds of everyone running around, getting the ship ready to dock, you stayed in the bedroom you shared with Shanks instead of going out and watching the land get closer as you usually would do. Sitting on the bed, staring into the nothingness, your angry thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the door. It indicated that there was someone that had noticed your absence, but you ignored it, pretty sure that no one would really miss you anyway. 

The door opened, and in walked your red-haired boyfriend. You were surprised that he had even knocked on his own door, but you appreciated the gesture, certainly done to make you feel comfortable and like your privacy was respected. You couldn’t bear looking at him when he asked the question you knew was inevitably going to come up. 

“Is there something wrong?”

You shrugged. The answer was yes, but you couldn’t exactly say something about it. You didn’t want to cause tension the moment you were arriving on an island. He walked over slowly, sitting next to you and placing his hand on your thigh. 

“What’s up then?” 

You bit your lip. “I don’t want to talk about it”. He leaned forward a bit, trying to make eye contact, but you turned your face away. “Please Shanks, just go with the crew, leave me here for a bit.” 

He frowned. You didn’t sound extremely upset or sad. More empty and angry, and he did not want to leave you behind in such a state. 

“You don’t want to come with us? This seems like a fun village, and I heard the local liquors are unlike anything we’ve tasted before.” When his soft smile and enthusiasm didn’t even manage to make you turn your head, he got really worried. Did he do something wrong? 

“No, I don’t want to come with you. I don’t want to sit around the campfire and get confronted with how helpless and unnecessary I am around here. How I am never part of the grand story because I am weak,” you took a sharp breath in, Shanks mouth falling open in a surprised o-shape, and now that you had finally started pouring out your feelings, you felt yourself unable to stop. 

“You know? Maybe I should get off on this island and just stay here cause apparently I am nothing but a dead weight on this ship. I am grateful for the adventures I had but apparently I was never significant enough to even mention in the wild drunken sto-” 

“Y/n stop.” 

His voice was stern, his expression serious. You finally looked at him and saw the usual mischievous twinkle in his eyes was nowhere to be seen either. It made you feel uneasy in some way. 

“You’re not weak. You’re not dead weight. You’re not useless. Don’t…” he frowned, grasping one of your hands in his, “don’t say such things about yourself. If you were weak, you’d never be allowed on this ship. If you weren’t loved, no one here would put up with you and look out for you. If you were such a nuisance… I’d never had noticed you. And yet here we are. You are loved,” he kissed your forehead, “you are wanted,” he kissed your left cheek, “you are needed, not a nuisance,” he kissed your right cheek, “and I love you with all I have,” he kissed you on the lips. 

You felt tears prick at the corner of your eyes, it was becoming increasingly hard to keep your angry expression, and he didn’t stop talking. He started summing up moments where you would throw a weapon to one of the crewmates after they’d lost theirs, how you patched people up in the middle of a chaotic battlefield, how your tactics had helped the crew greatly, and countless of stories of how you had made him happy, smile, laugh, filled his days with joy. Before he was done talking, there were some tears silently streaming down your face, he rubbed them away, not even mentioning your teary eyes, still keeping that same, serious, focussed expression on. Although a new emotion had set in the twinkle of his eyes: love. 

“Are you coming with~? Maybe tonight we should dedicate all stories to you?” 

Your eyes widened and you started to stutter. “N-no...No, I am fine without all that extra drunken attention.”

“As long as you’ll accept my drunken attention I won’t bother you”

You smacked his arm painfully, noticing how your whole body seemed more relaxed now that you were no longer carrying most of those dark thoughts with you. Of course, there would undoubtedly be more moments where you felt unfit or inadequate but as you grabbed Shanks’ hand and followed him out on deck, you realized that there was always the one to make you feel better. You’d hold onto that thought. It’d work way better for your mood too.

[unlikelyempathpruneauthor]

Definitely not like father

summary: Reader is sent up to the maze, but is jansons daughter. After seeing she survived he has a moment with her as she has no idea who this man is.

a/n: here is this one as well, might be the last one for tonight, there are more, ill post more tomorrow. hope you like this one! also It might have some misspelling I think.

Ever since I got into the glade I dreamed of when we would get out. I didn't think people had to die to get out of here. All of our friends were dead or alive coming to the brighter side. As we all got onto the helicopter to some other destination with these other men, they felt very familiar. As we were high in the sky we saw the terrible man made glade along with the maze. Seeing the glade like this, was disgusting. I sat down and wondered who these people were who sent us here. Newt sits next to me as we fall asleep. I feel safe next to him. He knows that. Ever since I got there he was a person I trusted, I told him everything, he listened and was there for me and continues to be there for me.

As I woke up, I heard Newt call me and I quickly got up and held his hand as we entered this other building. I hear screeching but they dont look like grievers, they are humans.

“What the hell?” I said as I looked closer to what these humans were, but Newt grabbed me quickly and all I could do was remember those human faces. Once we got inside there were these other people working and doing stuff with machines.

“You kids alright?” a voice said, an older man, older than us. “Sorry about all the fuss. Seems like we caught ourselves into a swarm.” he said as he seems weirdly familiar. “Who are you?” I asked as he just looked at me. I have no idea why he looked at me the way he did, but it felt okay in a way. “y/n..w-what..you survived.” he said as he hugged me and I have no idea what to do. I stood there as I felt tears coming out of his eyes. I turned around to Newt and Thomas, in a confused state, not knowing what was going on. “Im sorry, i don't know who you are...c-can you please let go?” i said as he did and wiped the tears out of his eyes. “Right sorry, um well you all can follow me, i'll show you around and let you all get clean up.” he said as we followed and i just stood next to newt’s side the whole time not wanting to get in another hugging situation.

Teresa and i were both taken to the girls showers since you know, we can't really enter a guy shower. As we were getting dressed Teresa spoke. “Why did that man hug you? Do you remember him at all?” she said as i shook my head and put pants on. “I don't know why he hugged me..h-he seems familiar but i don't know who he is.'' I said as she nodded. “Yeah he weirdly seems familiar to me as well.” she said as I chuckled. “Imagine we're related or something.” I said as she smiled. “Wouldn't be so bad, i would like you as a sister.”she said as we walked out into another room which led us into a smaller room, but this time we were separated.

I sat there again confused and had no idea what was going on. This whole place has a weird feeling to it. To me anyway, and the guy who hugged me gave me that same feeling. Just then doors were open and he came in, but he was looking at the ground. “I'm sure you're confused as I am, you have no memory of me, so I'll just tell you” he said as he exhaled. “I'm your father...i don't know how you ended up in that place you were in, but trust me..you're safe here.” he said as i shook my head. “Something tells me that this place isn't so safe. If you are even my father i don't remember you..if anything you probably sent me there, to the glade.'' I said as he nodded.

“Okay then..i just want to know whose side are you on?” he asked as I got up. “Definitely not with the people who sent me there.” i said as i was taken to a cafeteria, where more kids were sent here for some reason. As I looked for my friends, Minho walked up to me. “y/n come on, you got to listen, it wasn't just us, there were other glades.” he said as I furrowed my eyebrows and followed him. This guy was telling us about his glade and that the same guys who got us got them out of there and that the other people there were still in wicked hands. I sat there still thinking about what janson said, how he was my father. “Hey you alright? You've been pretty quiet love.” newt asked as i was brought back into reality. “Oh..um nothing, just is it me or does this place feel weird?” i asked as she furrowed his eyebrows. “Well i don't know, but now that you mention it thomas said the same thing.” he said as i nodded and he held my hand giving me a sincere look and i smiled. Now that I remember some things I knew he was my father, but I just don't know why he's here. Since most gladers don't even remember or even meet their parents. Just then i heard his voice again and he was calling out names, those names were apparently going to some safe haven. Just then Teresa was walking down the hall by some men. Thomas got up and asked the guard what was wrong, but they told him lies. “Who's that guy?” i asked newt as he looked over at him. “That's Aris, apparently he's been here for a while and was in a glade with a bunch of girls.” he said as I looked at him. “I'm gonna go talk to him.” I said as Newt nodded. I then sat next to him, he seemed like someone with answers.

“Hey, you're aris right?” I asked as he nodded. “Yeah and you're jansons daughter.” he said as I nodded. “This place, it isn't what they say it is right?” i said as he sat up straight and he seemed interested in what i have to say. “This place is a bad place, i think you know it is too.” I said as he nodded. “Wait, so you're not on your father's side?” he asked as I shook my head. “No if he did this to me, to my friends, i'm not on his side.'' I said as he nodded. “Well, i'm gonna go through the vents tonight, i'll pick you up and your friend with the brown hair. He also seems like this place is nuts.” he said as I nodded and walked towards my table. “What was that about?” Thomas asked. “Well it looks like this place isn't what it seems.” I said as he nodded, and I told him everything was said and everything happened since I got here.

Once they announced bed time i was taken to my own room since i wasn't allowed to sleep with the guys. I had to say goodbye to most of them, they allowed me and newt to have a private goodbye in another room. “Wish you could stay with me, but with these shanks we wouldn't get sleep.'' Newt said as I chuckled. “Yeah, especially minho.” I said as we hugged for a while. I know it was for the night, but it felt like it was gonna be for a while. Before he had to leave I had to tell him what was going on. “Before you leave, I have to tell you something.” I said as he nodded. “Janson is my dad, and this place feels like it isn't what it seems, it's a part of wickedness and I can feel it, I'm gonna check something out with Thomas tonight.” i said as he shook his head. “y/n no, i don't want you to get hurt, i can't lose you alright,” he said as I grabbed his face. “Newt, i'll be fine, you won't lose me, if i'm right, were gonna get out of here.'' I said as he nodded. “Okay just be safe,” he said as we said one last goodbye and he left with the others. As I heard they locked my door I went into my bunk. Once I heard aris, I got out of bed and quickly went into the vent. Thomas was with him and we both followed aris.

We arrived at another vent door. There were these doctors, who were taking bodies to another room. We counted and it was about 8 bodies, which is the same amount that were called today. “Okay so what does this mean?” I asked Aris as he shrugged his shoulders. “Well for one it could mean that there is no safe haven and that we are all being played.” he said as I nodded. “Okay well, what's our plan to check the inside of that place. There are no other vents going through there.” Thomas said as I nodded. “Okay I have a plan, but we have to wait until tomorrow.” i said as they both nodded and we headed back to our bunks. I figured the plan was gonna work, since i can get a chance to talk to janson again.

I woke up to someone unlocking my door and i got up making sure that the vent door was on, which it was, so i just laid down on the bed as janson walked in. “hey, um i was hoping we could talk.” he said as i nodded. I followed him and i was going through the same hall teresa was going through. I saw thomas and i nodded telling him to initiate the plan. All he had to do was get a key from one of the guards, and i was supposed to get janson to talk and show me past the door. We then arrived to the place we we talked when i first got here. “So, i'm assuming you have questions.” he said as i nodded. “I do, what is this place exactly.” i said as he exhaled. “Well, it's wicked, still us, those bodies from yesterday, arent going to a safe haven..” he said as i nodded. “Where are they going then?” i asked as he glanced at me. “We are keeping them in this lab of sorts, to test the flare on them.” he said as i got the chills. He looked at me in a fatherly way. “I'm not gonna let them touch you, alright, you can hide here as long as you want.” he said as i furrowed my eyebrows. “What about my friends.” i said as he scoffed. “I can't help them.” he said as i just sat there. “I need you here, to help me,” he said as i shook my head. “...please, i can't help you, after the hell you put me though, i can't help you and your people.” i said as he shook his head. “I didn't put you there! I didn't even know they took you from me. After 17 years i looked for you-” he said as i cut him off. “17 years...really? That's nothing, i was there for 3 years and i didn't even knew you existed until yesterday...you aren't my father, my father wouldn't let me be in such a terrible place.” i said as a guard came in. “boss there some of the kids are acting up.” he said as janson looked over. “Damn it...alright i'll be there.” i said as i got up and he stopped me. “I trust that you won't tell anyone about his conversation.” he said as i nodded. I then followed him out and saw thomas fired up. “Thomas! Calm down, i thought we could trust each other.” janson said as i looked over at newt. “You know we're all on the same team here.” he said as Thomas scoffed. “Are we?” he said I was pushed over to them. “Get them to their bunks!” he said as they brought all of us in the room including me.

“Well that worked, now we have to see what's behind that door.” thomas said as newt spoke up. “No you're not going to see, thomas you're not even sure if it's true. You saw bodies it doesn't mean anything.” he said as thomas exhaled. “Look, if i'm wrong than we live are lives here, but if im right we can get the hell out of here.” he said as aris came in. “you got it right?” he said as he showed him the card. “Look im gonna figure it out. Just cover for me. I'll be back as soon as possible.” he said as he went out and we sat here waiting. “Hes right you know.” i said to newt. “Well how do you know that?” he asked as i looked at him. “Janson told me, this is wicked, it's still them, they're just looking for more information.” i said as he nodded. “Well, at least i know its not thomas being paranoid,” he said as i chuckled.

After about 10 minutes or so, thomas came in grabbing the bunk and a blanket. “Thomas!” minho said as he was scrambling, “We gotta go.” he said as he put up the bed. “Aris what happened!” i asked as he stood there in shock. “We gotta get out of here!” he said as i spoke up. “Its wicked isn't it.” i said as he turned around and nodded. “Okay what else is there, come on talk to us.” newt said as he turned around. “Ava paige is alive. She never died.” he said as we all nodded and got out of the vent into the hall. We all walked out and finding they way we entered to get in here. Winston and aries went to go do something. Once we got to the end of the hall dr crawford was standing there. “What are you guys doing out?” she asked as a blaring sound turned on. “She's teresa’s doctor.” i said as thomas got his gun and made her take us to her. As we ran down the halls we got to teresa's room. Thomas went to wake her up while the rest of us tied up the other doctors.”uh guys what do we do?” frypan said. “Fyr move!” newt said as he pushed a table over to the door.  Thomas than broke a glass window and we all quickly made it out. We all then found the door that was our exit, thomas tried opening it with the key, but it wasn't working. “No! Come on!” he said as janson spoke. “Thomas!” he said. “Janson open this door!” he said as he scoffed. “Listen to me, i'm only trying to save your life. The maze was on thing, but you guys won't last one day out there. Believe me i only want what's best for you.” he said as thomas shook his head. “Let me guess wicked is good?” he said. “ you're not getting through that door thomas.” he said as the door opened. I stood there i really wanted to get to know him, but after everything i just can't. “y/n. Come convince them that this is a good place. Please, you have to stay.” he said. “Come on y/n don't listen to him,” newt said as i looked at him. “ i know you're my dad, but i can't...as much as it hurts to leave you i can't” i said as i walked out on the other side and they came running but i broke the door making it shut completely. We then opened the big door and got out running to a broken building away from this terrible mess janson would call home.

[hazbincalifornia]

A hassle about Blitzo not able to get comfortable to rest because of this fucking kid partying in his gut. Having to begrudgingly accept a visit from a certain owl when he’s out of options that ends up helping him and it relax.

Blitzo really, really hated the little brat sometimes. He’d been busy all day, and now that he finally made his way to bed, they just kept smacking outwards like his skin was a drum set being played by a coked-up college student.

“Will you stop squirming for thirty goddamn seconds?” He hugged his stuffed horse to his chest, knees pulled up, and hissed as the spawn in his gut absolutely refused to listen and just kept wiggling even as his tail wrapped around his stomach. “Holy shit, you really do take after Stolas, don’t you? Can’t leave me alone even when I’m trying to sleep. My stomach’s not a bouncy house, kid.” Unfortunately, his words didn’t seem to translate into baby-language, because giving an annoyed poke just made them move around more. 

Blitzo rolled over to his other side. No dice. Back was out- his spines always tore up the sheets, and it was a pain in the ass (and his wallet) to replace them. He’d learned last week that trying to lay on his stomach just had them writhe around to the point of pain, not to mention it was like trying to sleep on a rock.

Loona had told him on no uncertain terms that she was ripping his tail off the next time she woke up with him snuggled against her in bed. She probably wasn’t going to actually do it, but he’d rather avoid her shedding all over his closet or something in a different form of retaliation. It wasn’t his fault that the kid was desperate for attention and just rubbing his stomach wasn’t enough!

They had another client meeting in the morning- a big one, from the sound of how she’d rattled off the names of her bitch-ass living family members. He couldn’t miss it. It sounded like a hilarious mess, on top of being four times the usual job’s size.

Blitzo’s phone buzzed, and he smacked the side table a few times before managing to pick it up. Stolas had sent a text.

Via and her mother are out tonight at her grandparent’s house. Is there anything you need that I could help with? 

Groaning, Blitzo started to type. im fien dont worry abt it

He let that sit unsent for a few moments before deleting it. can u send soemthing to get them jto stop movng

No, that didn’t sound right either, and his toes curled before he finally gave up. jsut get ovr here. it wont stop movnig

Stolas sent a heart emoji and a thumbs up in response to the message, and Blitzo just hoped he hadn’t just lost what little sleep he’d have been able to get without him. 

He trudged over to the front door twenty minutes later when Stolas had to stoop to make his way through the doorway. Loona was stretched out on the couch and watching TV, halfway through a carton of ice cream. 

“Whatever you two are about to do, I don’t want to hear any of it,” she commented with a raised eyebrow. “I will turn up the volume on this until the neighbors start smashing the broom on the ceiling and yelling at us again.”

“We’ll be fine, Loonie,” Blitzo said with a wave of his hand before heading directly back for his room again. He heard Stolas murmuring reassurances to her before following, again having to duck to not hit his head. The prince had switched his inner shirt for a simple long sleeve with star patterns and had ditched the hat, but was still wearing his cape. Weirdo.

“So, what do you need, Blitzy?” Stolas settled himself down at the end of Blitzo’s bed and idly started rubbing a pair of boxers draped on the comforter between his fingers. 

“Hold me.”

“Hmm?” Stolas scooted closer as Blitzo crossed his arms. 

“Don’t make me say it twice,” he muttered as Stolas set a finger under his chin, tilting his face up.

“You said that you wanted me to hold you?”

“It… helps,” Blitzo muttered, forehead dropping down against Stolas’s chest. “The kid’s a bitchy little attention-whore, and Moxxie almost shot me last time when I showed up at his place while he was half-asleep. Don’t have a lot of options here.”

“We can’t have that!” Stolas wrapped his arms around Blitzo, who nuzzled against the soft down on his chest automatically before realizing what he was doing and trying to pull away. Unfortunately, as thin as Stolas’s arms were, his grip was like steel.

“What’s the deal with that, anyway? You’d think imp pregnancies would just make you want to shank anyone who looked at you funny,” Blitzo grumbled. “Not this.”

“If I were to hazard a guess, it would increase the odds that the child survives infancy if there was a clan or mate of some sort besides the single parent. Hell isn’t exactly kind to the weak, and babies are helpless.” 

“Yeah, well, my body needs to get out of the old times. We’re not living in caves and shit, I can do this by myself.”

Stolas pulled back enough to glance around the messy room, but didn’t comment on that any further. “You don’t have to. It’ll be alright.” He rubbed his hand over the bump, the skin next to his beak twitching a bit. “Oh, goodness, they are feisty tonight, aren’t they? They take after you.”

“They do not! This is all you!” Blitzo drummed his fingers on his arm, tail irritably jabbing into the clay on the bedside table, and he plucked it off the tip to begin to knead with his fingers. “I’d be sleeping right now if they weren’t here. So clearly, this is your fault.”

“You’re far more… energetic than I am,” Stolas said, going back to gently soothing his fingers over the fussy baby, and Blitzo’s shoulders sagged when they started to slow. The fingers felt cool- or maybe his body was just running warm. Weird.

“Why wouldn’t they do that for me? I’m the one doing all the hard work here!”

“They missed their daddy,” Stolas teased.

“Hey, I’m the daddy!”

“We both are.” Stolas set a hand on Blitzo’s side, pushing him towards the bed until he was laying down. He pulled his cape and shirt off before laying down himself, his own flat stomach against Blitzo’s as he curled close. “This way, they’ll know that someone is here and won’t bother you until morning.” 

“Won’t that be a miracle.” Blitzo rolled his eyes before lazily draping an arm over Stolas, pulling himself a little closer. It wasn’t often they got to cuddle without sex beforehand, and having those soft feathers against him without them being caked in sweat and cum (and, for that matter, without being so wiped out that he just conked out within five minutes) was nicer than he expected. His tail draped over one of Stolas’s legs, feeling the bumpy texture of it.

Stolas made a soft chirp at that, his hand resting on the side of Blizo’s belly before moving to settle on his hip.

“Good night, my little imp.”

“G’night,” Blitzo muttered. His chest felt kinda warm. He’d have to check the heating in the morning. The imp’s nose twitched as he could smell the spiced body lotion Stolas used before slipping away into sleep.

[the-fiction-witch]

Valentines: From

MOVIE: MAZE RUNNER  COUPLE: NEWT X READER RATING: SWEET + SMUT

Y/N POV:

I sat on the bench nibbling at my lunch just having my nice sandwich I got a little tap on my shoulder so I turned to see nothing know one there I heard a little sound on the table so I turned and saw a little thing wrapped in red tissue paper so I got it and it was a little chocolate with a note “Hello, Love From Your secret Admire” it made me giggle eating the sweet chocolate once I had my lunch I went back to work doing some gardening picking out strawberries and such as I finished planting a little cutting I looked up and spotting another little red present so I grabbed it and read the note “You Look cute when you work, Love from your secret admirer” it made me blush like crazy looking around trying to see if anyone was looking at me but know one was looking so I open it and it was another little chocolate so I happily ate it Once I was finished with work I went off to have a bath in the little swimming pond out towards the deadheads as soon as I stripped off and jumped in I felt so nice I ducked under the water for a moment to wet my hair and when I came back up there was another cute little red present on the side of the Pond I swam over and saw the note “For You Beautiful, Have fun Meet me tonight on the tower <3 Your secret admirer” It made me laugh I opened it and it was strange thing i was very puzzled and i accidentally dropped it in the water and it began fizzing like crazy turning the whole pond purple with glitter and little hearts floating in it it felt so nice on my skin to sweet and pretty Once I was done I got dressed and went up to the tower it was now dark the top of the tower where a bunch of candles everywhere and a little present on the tower it was a huge present it looked beautiful.

NEWT’S POV:

I sighed not wanting to get out of my hammock, till I felt a little tap on my head

“Uhh What?” I ask opening my eyes but know one was there but there was a little red present on me so I sat up having a read of it 

“You look cute today X From your secret admirer” it read making me laugh a little but kinda worried...I live in the glade...full of boys? I kinda hope it’s the one girl doing this and opening it Ohh a chocolate so i had it and went to the garden’s it is my day off sitting in the gardens on the grass while other’s worked I sighed laying back and almost falling asleep again till I felt someone tap me I turned and looking but know one so I sighed turning back but this way there was another little red present so I read the note “Sleepy Boy today newtie, Love From your secret admirer” It made me laugh opening at this was another chocolate so I happily ate it laying back on  the soft grass trying to sleep again I looked around and I could see know one really about to much except y/n across the way I smile at her and she smiles back blushing a little putting her head down to work once I has had a very long nap I went to dinner sitting on my own still kinda yawning a bit having to have a very long yawn when I opened my eyes another little present was sat on the table I looked around and there was know one even close so I read the little note “For you, Meet me tonight on the tower Love from your secret admirer” so I quickly opened it, it was another sweet little chocolate so I quickly ate it rushing off to the tower once I got up there I saw a huge present on the tower and candles and flowers everywhere and Y/n sat she turned and smiled as she saw me

“It was you?” she giggles

“What do you mean?” I ask her

“You where the one leaving me little presents?” she blushes

“ thought you where, You said to meet you here” I laugh showing her the note 

“But I thought you brought me here” she says very puzzled showing a note she also had same hand writing same everything “thats odd” she says a little worried sitting and getting the big present it had two little notes on it one saying Newt the other saying Y/n so we each got our own note 

“You two are perfect for each other its high time you both told each other how you feel” mine read

“what does your say?” I ask her and she handed me her’s and I handed her mine her’s said exactly the same 

“so...something you want to tell me?” she giggles blushing hard

“something you want to tell me?” I laugh both of us a little nervous before we met and kissed her lips so soft and heavenly why did I wait so long to kiss her...

Y/N POV:

when He kissed me my heart skipped a beat I was so happy he felt this way about me, why did we wait so long to meet and do this, so long I have had a crush on the cute British boy, to think I’m actually kissing him till we both pulled away

“How long?” I ask

“since I got you out the box” he smiles “what about you?” he asks

“since you got me out” I giggle shuffling close to him resting my head on his shoulder he smiles wrapping his arm around me we sat snuggling in the starlight for what felt like forever “Oh what was in the present?” I ask remembering we didn't open it so he got it sitting it between us and opening it up it was a box so newt opened it and quickly shut it again before I could even see inside “what?” i giggle

“I dont think you want to see” he laughs 

“Yes i do” I giggle opening it was full to the brim with condoms, regular, XXL, sensitive, warming, cooling, ribbed you name a condom it was in here “Oh god” I say in shock newt blushed digging though the huge mess of condoms and under them was something else a ring with some odd little bits “whats that?” i ask

“You dont wanna know” he laughs

“Yes I do newt tell me” I giggle

“Okay,, this goes like on ....lets say hypothetically if we where too....have sex” he blushed “it would go on my dick, and vibrate and make me super hard as fuck and also at the same time when i was inside you it would touch and vibrate on your clit” he explains

“How did someone even get that?” I ask

“I’m not sure I wanna know” he sighs so I put my hand in though the condoms and found something else a bottle of something it said WCKD on it so I was a little worried before he took it out my hand “Oh okay, this is like-” he begins

“Lube?” I ask “Just going on everything else in the box of smut” I laugh

“Not exactly It’s lube yeah but...its meant to like make us both more sensitive” He explains

“who the hell did all this?” i ask “Leading us here and doing this?” I ask

“I have a pretty educated guess” he sighs as I found a bit of folded paper at the bottom of the box it read 

“Happy Valentines day Ya Shanks, Have Fun ;) X thomas and Minho” 

“I hate those two sometimes” I laugh “Bloody Idiots” he sighs 

“Well I dont have any other plans tonight” I smirk

“Wait so you-” he begins getting a little excited and I just nod 

“My place?” I giggle grabbing the little ring and holding on the crotch of his trousers and having it vibrate 

“Uhhh!Okay!” He moans kissing me hard before we packed everything into the box climbed down with it and ran off to my room....

“Ummm Oh newt” I moan between his harsh lustful kisses as we laid on our sides in my bed his hands on my waist often running his fingertips across my skin mine tightly holding his vest and he threw his hoodie across the room a moment ago his little groans and grunts into our kiss getting deeper and louder the more we kissed “Newtie come on dont you wanna have sex with me” i giggle pulling away from kissing him letting him press soft tickely kisses on my neck 

“Oh I do, I do, I do Y/n” He groans between kisses pulling up my shirt and undoing my jeans pushing them down my legs so I push them of all the way with my feet and he smirks at me laying i bed in my underwear his eyes checking me out rather aggressively before his lips attached to my neck again his hands sliding up to un clip my bra which he did on the first try it hanging so loss only just covering my chest his hands quickly threw it away across the room his hands shyly stroking under my breasts before moving up taking hold fully of my tits one in each of his large hands “Uhh Oh God!” He moans sucking on my neck as he squeezed them gently I chuckled at his reaction smirking trying to pull up his vest and he smirks pulling away from my neck throwing off his vest and I smirked running my hands up and down his slender form and he smirked against my skin as I undid his pants and he pulled back looking at me “where really gonna do this?” he asks a little scared and I nod blushing a little pushing his pants down revealing his boxers and the large bulge there ever growing as we kiss before he sat up and smirked at me getting the box of stuff “you pick” he smirks so I giggle grabbing a sensitive condom and he got the other bits butting the box on the floor sitting up on top of me and smiling at me so I slip my panties off leaving me naked under him and he smirks his bulge growing even more as he saw me naked 

“come on newt” I giggle running my hands down from his shoulders down to his V very prominent now and he smirks giving me a little kiss as he slips off his boxers “SHUCKING HELL!” I laugh

“what?” he asks

“Its shucking huge newt” I laugh

“Really? I didn't think it was that big” he laughs “well, Its all yours sweetheart” he smirks kissing me before he sat up again putting the liquid stuff from the bottle on his cock and he shuddered his eyes rolling back a little “shuck thats good” he groans before slipping the condom on and putting a little liquid on the condom too “thats so you get some in there too” he smirks before putting the little ring on and smirking at me “You want to turn it on” he smirks and I nod sitting up a little pressing the little button turning it on I could see his cock get harder if that was possible as it started and the little sound of her vering a little funny to me “Okay I’m gonna have to fuck you else Im gonna cum” he groans before smirking down at me “a little for your cit too” he smirks putting some off the liquid just the amount still on his fingers on my clit it felt so good so cold but like it heightened me so much making my little clit feel like it was begging for his touch but I was no to get it as he slipped inside me “UHHH! Y/N Your...Your so tight baby” he smirks pushing so he was hilt deep inside me the little vibrator taking good care of my clit almost teasing it as my pussy stretched around newt huge cock he smirks leaning forward on top of me his elbows keeping him up as he gave my lips a sweet kiss before starting his slow thrusts but they didn't last very long as he was within seconds pounding into me hard and fast I moaned like crazy in reaction to every tiny thing he did to me he kept groaning and grunting almost angry getting frustrated trying to get to his release getting desperate for it I was getting close I felt myself nearing the edge till I felt his hand move down to the toy and turn it up one more speed sending me over the edge my orgasm rushing over me pleasure going everywhere like a wave from my pussy out to my brain and down to my toes making them curl in reaction my pussy clenching tight around him  even squirting on him a little as I grabbed him tightly screaming repeating his name like a prayer over and over as his thrusts kept going keeping me in the wonderful fuzzy visioned world of climax till I felt him shudder his hips bucking widely no rhythm like before as he grabbed me tight biting my shoulder hard I felt his eyes even water as he came collapsing on me “I love you so much” he moaned

“i love you too” I giggle between breaths till he pulled out of me it felt awful having him leave and he laid beside me in my bed resting his head on my tits as he breathed “are you okay?” I ask

“Yeah...Yeah....just uh...a bit....tried” he groans 

“aww poor newtie, maybe we do more tomorrow?” I giggle giving his head a kiss and playing with his soft hair

“Okay” He smirks giving my breast a kiss where he was

“Knock knock” a little voice laughs on the other side of the room I looked around my room a moment things knocked over newt’s clothes all over my floor and a few things from under my bed now out in the middle of the floor my bra somehow got hung over the door handle on this side 

“yeah?” I ask

“Hi guys” minho smirks opening my door along with thomas “Whoa! it worked” he smirked as he saw me and newt in bed 

“Oh god, the sex smell is so strong its making my eyes water” Thomas complained 

“why did you guys do this?” I ask as newt snuggled closer to em almost asleep

“because you two needed to get together and if we had to trick you into admitting it then we did, arnt you happy it worked ?” Minho smirked

and I just looked at my mostly wrecked room, my naked body under the covers off my bed and a naked newt cuddling into my side “Yeah I am” i giggle hugging him tightly and he kissed me our kiss deepening like crazy still a little horny 

“dont you guys wanna know how we did it?” thomas asks

“Dont know and dont care” Newt answers between kisses “Guys shuck off” he told them pulling me close to him 

“why?” Minho smirked

“cause Its valentines day and oddly enough I wanna have fun with my girlfriend” he smirks so they happily left letting us get back to our sweet little cuddle 

“so you wanna fool around again” I giggle 

“Late sweetheart, I need a nap after destroying your pussy” he smirks kissing me so I happily kissed him back cuddling closer and we happily feel asleep.

[artificialqueens]

Rupaul's Bake Off ~ Hobnob

A/N: The great British bake off is so close i can taste it. People don’t know this about me, but i go into a hibernation like state whilst waiting between seasons of bake off. I then emerge from my cocoon as a sweaty moth, ready to watch some fuckin cooking and pound a few brews.

Alas, bake off moved to channel 4 and i can’t stand channel 4 it can suck my flaccid wang. Too many adds, I’m not about that life, you know? When i found out i looked my mum straight in the eyes and cried. She told me i was loved and held me tight. Thats the only intimacy i ever got from mum :(

I was craving some classic bake off, that really kept with the feel of the show. Bless mary berry that sweet old thing. She was faithful and stayed with the BBC! I burnt my paul holywood cookbook when i found out he was moving to channel 4. Liar!!! Dickhead!!!

Enjoy~ Hobnob

Ru: So then i said if those are your rates ill kill the child myself.

Ru: Shit we on?

Ru: Hello hello hello! Four weeks in, 12 bakers down to eight. They’re on a roll!

Ru: Welcome, to Rupaul’s Bake Off!

~

Ru: Alright ladies, how are we feeling today?

Laganja: Well actually i-

Ru: Hahahahaha thats wonderful!

Ru: For todays challenge you’ll all be making shortbread, and since our ratings went up by 4, we can actually afford real flour.

Trixie: We used washing powder. Magnolia Crawford died.

Ru: I hear your complaints. Magnolia’s family will be notified.

Trixie: Her body is still on the floor. We used her left leg for pie week.

Ru: Her death drop was sickening!

Ru: Are you ladies bready to make some shortbread?

*general mumbling*

Ru: Well on that note lets- WAKE UP PEARL.

Pearl: Im a dude that loves to snooze.

Ru: Gentlemen, start your ovens, and may the best woman, bake!

Pearl: where am i.

~

Ru: Alright Michelle what we looking for in a good piece of shortbread?

*Michelle grabs a tesco’s own brand tray of shortbread and cuts a piece in half*

Michelle: No soggy bottoms.

Ru: But Michelle i heard you love a soggy bottom!

*cackling from Michelle and Santino*

Ru: Now Santino, what are you looking for in a piece of shortbread.

Santino: I want to have a have a childhood flashback like in ratatouille.

Ru: Santino your fired.

Michelle: Its literally impossible to fuck up shortbread, I’m exited to see what these girls can turn out.

Santino: I think one of the contestants died last week.

Ru: You know michelle i completely agree. Ill be keeping my rye on them!

*more cackling*

Ru: Alright we only booked this room for half an hour get out.

~

Ru: lets see how some of these biological women are doin.

Ru: Sharon Needles, how it do?

Sharon: Hoh hoh its going great Ru!

Ru: Now I’m…seeing alot of plastic rings on the counter…whats that all about?

Sharon: See Ru, at greggs they serve their shortbread with fun plastic rings on top!

Sharon: I love greggs this is really a homage to that.

Ru: I uh…ok

Ru: So how about the Shortbread itself, how’s that coming along?

Sharon: I wanted it to have a spook-tastic theme!

*Ru nods*

Sharon: So i put live spiders in the mix.

Ru: Christ…

Ru: Alright ill let you get back to work thanks Sharon.

Sharon: Hoh hoh!

~

Ru: Katya, hows everything cooking?

Katya: Im making ravioli Ru.

Ru: But the challenge is to make shortbread.

*Katya leans in and whispers*

Katya: Ru ima level with you here, i ate all the flour.

*Ru sighs*

Ru: Alright can we get Katya another bag of flour?

Pit crew: We can’t she snorted it all.

Katya: Im so happy to be here!!!

Ru: For fucks sake. there were 20 bags of flour.

*Katya takes another drag of her cigarette*

Katya: Party.

Ru: Right Im going over there.

~

Ru: Leganjy estrangy, it smells great over here!

Laganja: Actually mawma its pronounced la-

Ru: Wonderful!

Ru: How are you approaching the classic shortbread recipie?

Laganja: Well mwahmah i baked my shortbread with pot cuz if it aint green i aint interested you best believe!

Ru: You smuggled marijuana on set??

Adore: Rupaul that was my weed she stole it!!!

Laganja: You fucking dickpig son of a spazzy cunt i didn’t take nothing.

Adore: You also stole my copious amounts of ketamine gurl, most unsportsmanlike…

*Laganja whips out her gun*

Laganja: You willing to die over this? Take it easy okuur?

*She aims the gun at adore’s temple and speaks in a soft voice*

Laganja: I feel very…attacked.

Ru: Oof i doughnut want to be caught up in this pickle. Take it easy…bake oven.

*Roaring laughter from Michelle*

- Ru: Sasha Velour!

Ru: Make this quick I’m running out of food related puns.

Sasha: Want me to give you a quick run-through of what I’m making?

Ru: Sasha you bread my mind!

Ru: Oh i do got more.

Sahsa: I really wanted to get an in depth look at the inner workings of shortbread.

Shasha: So my piece will be a deconstruction of shortbread at its essence.

Ru: Its… just the raw ingredients and you’ve painted 3 of the eggs.

Sasha: plus i infused the oats with the tears of a crying dove.

Sasha: Its the future of baking man. Don’t even trip.

Ru: I have only just met you.

Ru: But i love you.

Sasha: Right on.

*Ru checks her casio sports watch*

Ru: ALRIGHT LADIES STOP BAKING WE’S DONE TIME’s UUupP.

Ru: Time to judge this shitshow.

~

*Ru Michelle and Santino look at all the trays. Santino begins to cry*

Michelle: Uh- lets start with Trixie mattel’s!!

Santino: So first off its fucking pink. And there’s bits of glitter sticking out of it.

Trixie: Yeah that glitter isn’t edible.

*Santino, Michelle and Ru take a bite* Michelle: Why does it taste like regret and plastic?

Trixie: I melted 3 barbie dolls into the mix. I was feeling the fantasy.

*Santino begins to choke and collapses on the floor*

Ru: Sickening!

Michelle: Movin on.

Michelle: Bianca Del Rio, lets see what you made henny.

*Michelle picks up a tray of paper slips*

Ru: Tf is this.

Bianca: THEY’RE ALL INSULTS FOR LAGANJA ESTRANJA.

Bianca: I WANT TO SLASH HER FUCKING FACE.

Michelle: That went to a very dark place.

Bianca: I WILL ABSORB HER LIFE ENERGY AND RETURN TO THE SHADOW RELM.

*Michelle puts down the tray and looks at the rest of the trays*

Michelle: The rest of these aren’t even shortbread. Ru did you have to cast a group of twats, how do you fuck up shortbread.

Ru: Now seems like the perfect time to plug my new product.

Ru: It’s a literal piece of shit. Just a big chunk of shit.

Ru: Think of the…possibilities.

Adore: Did Santino die?

Ru: Now available on ebay. Bidding starts at ten quid.

Adore: He isn’t breathing.

Ru: While you think about the series of events that led you to this gig, the judges and i will deliberate.

*Ru looks over to Santino’s dead body*

Ru: Michelle and i will deliberate. ~

Ru: Alright so what do we think?

Michelle: Katya snorted all the flour then spat in a tray, Pearl is asleep inside the oven, Bianca keeps coming at queens with carving knives, I think i saw Trixie sample Katya’s tray of spit, Laganja has a loaded gun, Adore doesn’t belong here, Sasha is immaculate and i love her god bless and Sharon started coughing up blood.

Ru: The ‘steaks’ are higher than ever!

Michelle: And Santino Rice died.

Ru: Ive heard enough…Bring back my goirls.

*Michelle cackles*

~

Ru: Alright ladies…ive made my decision…

*Trixie raises her hand and Ru sighs*

Ru: Yes Trixie?

Trixie: Where’s Manila?

Ru: i-uh…oh shit yeah Manila was sposed to be here.

Ru: Manila?

*Manila pops her head out of a fruit bowl. She’d been disguised as a pineapple the whole time!*

Ru: Why you hiding gurl?

*Manila speaks through broken sobs*

Manila: Someone…someone left the cake out in the rain.

*shady rattlesnake noise*

Manila: I-I just don’t think that I can take it, coz it took so long to bake it.

*A single tear rolls down her pineapple cheek*

Manila: And I’ll never have that recipe again.

*Everyone hugs Manila and cries*

Ru: Mmm thats some good telly.

Ru: Alright I’ve made my decision…

Ru: Stacy layne Mathews, you are the star baker of this weeks challenge.

*Everyone applauds, and nods in agreement*

Stacy: Thanks. As they say back in the swamp, “i am in a swamp, but why?”

Ru: Preach sister.

Ru: Unfortunately…this is the hardest part of the competition…who will be eliminated.

Ru: So Im going to let Michelle Visage decide.

Michelle: Trixie you killed Santino Rice.

Michelle:…

Michelle: thank you. You are safe + immunity for next weeks challenge.

Trixie: Bitchin!

Michelle: You know what, ill cut to the chase. Hermione granger the stranger you can go home.

Laganja: mwwuuaaumahch, it’s pronouncéd lega-

Ru: Get out.

*Even louder applause as everyone else throws rotten tomatoes at a sobbing Laganja*

Ru: Thats not all…every guests here tonight…leaves with a piece of shit!

Ru: See you next week!

Ru: LET THE MUSIC PLAEEH!!

*Everyone shuffles about to the sound of ambient rainforest noises.*

A/N: It was me, tammie brown all along.

If you managed to stick with the entirety of this script you get a shank in the back plus free PPI congration!!!?!?!?!?!!!!!!

[inaweofdiana]

would you mind 68. (awkward hug) for Marco&Sabo or 26. (a kiss on the temple) for Makino & Luffy?

SO ive been trying to think of one for the first request since I got this and ONLY JUST realized it says Marco n Sabo, not Sabo and Ace like i thought it did bc im a dumbass who doesn’t know how to read SO LIKE THAT ONES COMING i already have a little fic fragment i was working on the other day that’ll work for it but ayooo have some temple kisses (n forehead kissed) from Makino and Luffy

-

“The locals say that the hurricane on the next island lets up once a year for a week and that the log pose only takes a day to set.” Nami entered the library where everyone was gathered with a sigh. “And that window’s not for another five months.”“So what’ll we do in the meantime?” Franky kicked back in his chair.“We could take a damn vacation for once where we’re not trying to escape being eaten for two years straight.” Sanji grumbled.Zoro snorted. “If anyone here was in danger of being eaten, it was me. You were just on crossdresser island.” He dismissed.Sanji looked pained. “They wanted to eat me one way or another.”Robin and Jinbe laughed. “You’re too cute not to eat.” Robin comforted, sending Sanji into spinning delight. They all looked at Luffy, one at a time. He was thinking, face screwed up. “We should go back and visit everyone!” He finally cheered. “We can start at my hometown and then work our way back here! It didn’t take us that long to get here the first time, if you don’t count all the butt-kicking we did on the way here! Right Nami?”She was already scribbling in her notebook. “With Sunny’s speed, travel time will be reduced, letting us spend more time at everyone’s islands. So Foosha village, Syrup town, Cocoyashi village, and the Baratie back in the East Blue, then we can hit Reverse Mountain before we hit Drum island. If we have time between Drum and Water 7, we can stop by Alabasta and Skypea. We can also probably spend some time in Sabaody before we head down to Fishman island. Do we need to stop by anywhere else? I can work on a timetable tonight.”“I’d like to stop by one of the revolutionary bases.” Robin chimes in. “It’s in East Blue, so it’s not very far out of our way.”“I’ll pencil it in if you can get me exact coordinates.” Nami agreed. “We should visit Hammock too!” Luffy added. “But we gotta visit Foosha first! And make sure Shanks isn’t there!”“You got it, your majesty.” She grinned.Luffy tipped his head back and laughed. “Let’s set sail then!”-“So this is where you grew up?” Chopper asked as they approached the calm looking island.“Yup! That’s Goa kingdom over there, they’re total assholes! Then over that way is Foosha! Brook! Further south!” He called. After a moment, the Sunny tilted slightly to their new course.“And this is where Dragon brought you?” Robin asked.“Nah, he gave me to Gramps. Gramps brought me and Ace here when we were little to live with the mountain bandits.”“Mountain bandits, Marines, Pirates, and Revolutionaries… You know everyone!” Chopper marveled.Luffy looked surprised as he processed but then laughed. “I guess I do! I’d never thought about that before!”“Don’t forget bounty hunters.” Zoro joined them at the rail. “Only the fun ones!” Luffy threw himself at Zoro, utterly confident that Zoro would catch him.Zoro didn’t disappoint, catching him with one hand and offering him one of Sanji’s smoothies with the other. “If you wanted one, you could ask.” He pointed out.Luffy grinned. “That’s not as much fun.”They landed shortly and disembarked, Luffy leading the way up through the village, pointing out “That’s where Shanks and I used to fish!” or “One time I beat up a tiger over there!” before they reached the tavern.“Are you even old enough to be in here?” Jinbe asked, concerned.“I’m 19.” Luffy pouted up at him. There was a gasp from behind the bar before a woman was rushing around it. “Luffy! Is that really you!”Luffy’s face lit up. “Makino!” He grabbed her in a monster hug, wrapping his arms around her several times over before spinning her. “I missed you!”“Luffy, I can’t believe you’re here, back on Foosha, after everything!” She beamed back. “We came to visit!” Luffy released her to turn and introduce his crew, chattering away.Makino seemed genuinely enthused to meet everyone, Robin reflected. People like that were rare in this world, she’d found. She was glad Luffy had her.Once word got around that Luffy was in town, the bar was packed and he was surrounded by well-wishers. The rest of the crew was surrounded by their share of fans as well, everyone wanting to know about them or asking them for more stories about Luffy. They ended up staying the rest of the day and well into the night, the pub throwing a huge party for them. Around nine o’clock, a huge red-haired woman burst into the building, yelling.Zoro had his hand on his swords in a heartbeat, and up on the impromptu stage, Robin had her hands crossed. She dashed across the room to try to deliver a flying kick at Luffy but he ducked under her leg with a grin and an excited laugh, wrapping her up in much the same way he’d hugged Makino. She struggled and kicked and yelled but she looked secretly pleased around the corners of her eyes and at the twist of her mouth. Makino and the Major were laughing at the spectacle like they’d seen it before, so Zoro and Robin and the rest of them stepped down.The party died down around two or three in the morning. Brook was up on the stage playing a quiet melody on the piano. Dadan and Jinbe were drinking by the fireplace. Zoro was leaning up against Jinbe and snoring while Robin was sitting on the other half of the piano bench with Brook. Nami was drinking against Sanji and Usopp, while simultaneously teaching Chopper the proper way to take a shot. Franky was elbow deep in the stove, making improvements after his seventh bottle of Soda. Luffy was sitting on the bar, talking to Makino, just as energetic and excited as he had been earlier. Makino looked a little frazzled around the edges, but equally happy.“We’ve got your poster here, see? I was going to show you earlier, but then everyone got here and wanted to talk.” Makino gestured to the wall where a blown up copy of his poster was hung with care.“So cool! Can I sign it?” Luffy bounced on the counter.“Of course!” She handed him a marker. “We have Shanks’ too, but we made yours bigger because we love you more.” She winked.Luffy grinned widely, jumping off the counter. “Well duh! I’m gonna be king of the pirates and he’s just an emperor!” Makino laughed. “You’ve been saying that all these years, and now you might actually make it.” She watched him scrawl his loopy signature across the bottom of his photo. She giggled when he added a scrunched sketch of his Jolly Roger. “Of course I will.” Luffy replied when he was done, having been biting his tongue in concentration. Makino cupped his face gently, smoothing back his bangs to look at his face.Luffy stood still and let her examine his entire face in the yellowed lighting of the bar.“You’ve gotten so old.” Makino murmured. “I can’t believe one of my boys is the pirate king.” She shook her head with misty eyes before pressing a kiss to his forehead.Luffy slung an arm around her neck with a softer smile. “I’m not the pirate king yet, Makino! Don’t tell me you’re getting sea-bile in your old age!”“Senile.” She corrected with a laugh. “Huh, that makes more sense, huh?” Luffy rubbed at his chin. After another hour or so, they left to go sleep on the ship. Jinbe was carrying a snoring Zoro like one would carry a baby, and Franky was carrying Sanji slung over one shoulder, Robin perched on his other shoulder.“Let’s put them in the same bed together, bro! It’ll be super funny!” Luffy could hear Franky laughing with Jinbe. Nami laughed with him, carrying a tipsy Chopper. Robin was laughing as well. Usopp was laughing and avoiding Brook’s grabs to try to carry him back to the ship as well.“You just want to see my panties!” Usopp was cackling.Brook groaned. “You never use the hamper! I don’t want to see them!”Makino laughed at the antics of her patrons and Luffy grinned at the sight. “We’ll be back tomorrow.” He informed her. “I’ll probably take them up to Dadan’s tomorrow though!”Makino giggled. “Dadan is asleep in my bed right now, give her ‘til about noon at least.”“Oh, okay! We’ll probably have a late night anyway!” Luffy slid off the counter. He noticed that he was finally taller than Makino, now that she’d taken off her tall shoes. He wrapped his arms around her in one last hug for the night and pressed a kiss to her temple. “But either way, see you tomorrow!” He stretched out an arm to grab Usopp by the back of his overalls and yanked him over. “Want a piggyback?” He asked brightly.“Luffy’s the best captain!” Usopp declared. “Free piggybacks for life!” He screamed to the ceiling.Makino laughed out of her moment of surprise. “I’ll see you boys tomorrow then!” She waved and watched Luffy lead a mad dash down towards the docks. That boy never did anything slowly, she reflected as the rest of the crew broke into a run to follow, laughing all the way. She was glad he’d found people to run with him.

[glopratchet]

jase

page 14,067 You think to yourself "with enough time, anything's possible" brush your teeth Well not everything As hard as you try, with your pass-able looks and natural charisma, you couldn't convince a regular girl to settle down with you There was of course the time you got close Really close You could almost taste it But events didn't quite turn out in your favor, giving birth to your desire for revenge against these menacing criminals that took everything away while keeping the status quo in the background, you prepare the vehicle for tonight The heavy modified hoverbike sitting in your parking space in the Apartment-Boat you call home could bu handy if anything happens tonight A quick look in the mirror and you make sure your kutte is straight Time to fire this festering hole eventually door shuts behind !!!!!" "What did you just say?" You bend your head to your scruffy looking "girlfriend" "Darling" "I said he, are we or aren't we eating an alligator burger tonight?! Come on! We are going to be late! her fingernails nervously as she wears her construction outfit in your room She didn't work to day, but instead wanted you to show you this new opening at a Gallery You roll on the bed and sit up to catch a napping Cello, "uhh I dunno Bri, I'm supposed "No excuses! We are going, be ready, meet me there, DON'T BE LATE! Whole alligator dinner , assemble or eat Last weekend on my break from capture the flag, I stayed with my father, and his new bride "Darling" has no blood relation to me, but she feeds me bugs everyday and lets play near the construction sites We love to ride the huge trucks and dump them Once we were playing catch with a grenade since we thought it was a medicine ball Right before it blew up, dad came running at us with his eyes bigger than us Now that I rely use some filters and stay near sea I do not get to eat opening acts 4 minutes ago Well back in the day, I had an assassin try to take me out at their main encampment This was years ago when the ED and GC were still allies My public reason was to get some fuel for the trip to Nine-Oak, my real motive well to this day I'm not quite sure but it must've been important since I honestly thought I wasn't going to make it out of there and owner Door 5 The smell overtakes the sensors While 4 channels show a heavy dose of psychosis swinging back and forth with tylium injections, a brighter side appears You nearly see hope Her quarters are the large one at the top of everyone's screens covered with a one way window; perfect for spying and collecting intel, while maintaining necessary top security Also, you instantly recognize this families logo Your mind draws a blank then slowly; a blurry memory resurfaces ! Now! The writing on the walls is like no language you've ever seen, but you can make out a few familiar shapes Your mind struggles Zukhara? No, much older "Darling" hasn't moved an inch Quickly she grabs the image of an alligator in a fine crafted cherry wood frame from the wall and throws it on the floor with a loud crack The mirror and painting lay shattered and displayed on the ground or the paintings for dinner? And that other thing, whatever it was Be my guest! You pull yourself out of the seat and slowly walk to an empty space on the wall where you open a hidden safe Typewriter and stacks of cash fill the drawer as you sit down and start writing a note While your writing doesn't exactly look like calligraphy, presumably this will still be counted as "artwork" finish it and then mount it on an alligator skin I believe? Well if it'll honor you prefer the skin? Nothing's stopping you now, assuming he is on the level then both will be coming from our rations tomorrow night along with a bottle of 1975 empire Zinfandel which should make a fine adhesive, provided the gluing is up to the quality of your current paintings Your collection should look flawless The door opens as a slight breeze pushes it further into the room pay money to own some of that, shining in black frames on the red walls, alligator skin flooring and a genuine Empire zin Please give our compliments to genius chef as soon as he has time Research Assistants - University of Progensberg Your art is now top secret Even if anyone thought the colorful swirls were anything more than bits to be analysed they wont get far before it's taken out of general circulation , good thing arnt they one of the few human like species discovered it'd be a shame to see them go extinct before we had a chance to eat them Year 595 Research: While the painting sub branch isn't exactly mundane, you don't feel like it's enough creative outlet for today How will this help forging a GC post extinction legacy? You need to be doing more smelling faintly of paint and on most occasions you see red, blue or purple flash before your eyes Congratulations, after 500 years since the inception of the project it appears urantra brain secretes some kind of purple pigment for decoration purposes At this point we don't care, just take it and inject it into your veins almost as much as a fine bottle of empire zin The purple lightning strikes outside seem brighter and warmer these days, might just be the drugs talking though Almost done with this batch and then it's a few months of off book research Wanna come with? to EAT animals but not ok to EAT people or OTHER human like species, or elves or anything like that After rereading Anecia's speech you realize how close the average person is to becoming their food source Hopefully this research will earn a bit of trust that you aren't planning on eating them probably I heard that! And no im not coming with you, ill just be here waiting than they'd want to hurt Anecia They are essential for milk and cheese after all That being said, when your racing home after a hard day at the lab, hoping that tonight might treat you to some Anecian Stuffed Peppers, how often do you think about where the meat in that casserole really came from? And where did the cow come from anyways? Was it just walking around one day when it decided to become lunch? ? plus they taste good You were always told that dragons where monsters that scorched the earth and sky alike but now your standing here arms deep in a corpse of one The first dragon you've ever slain, and its wings are actually alot smaller then you thought If your parents could see you now, how proud they would be They'd probably question their training however, and rightfully so but still you had this one in the bag all along to realize, be it hook, spear or net, the dragon had little chance of escape With your own particular set of skills, you have this wyrm failling to a blow from above Year 600 You meet mr Average Person (read:secretary) early in the week with the to-do list every sunday you have to go over everything with him and give some sort of idea of what the team is going to work on two months from now or the intense studies of the Purple ichor's amazing healing properties? Question 6 (1,798 voters, tcoh_input@yahoo com) Hello nice to meet you roommate! tell me about yourself Name: Sun LiRace: Black TrollClass: PlayboyER demigodSTR! 30INT! 30WIS! 40 AGI! 50LUCK! 70SKILL! 56TRAIT! 18 let's see your father ran before he took you away Since that is no doubt who your roommate is let's see if we can figure that out There are roughly 100 students at this school about 25 are demi human and half of them are races that could easily be your roommate (or would that be roommers?) Of the remaining human race half of them are girls hmmm 1 in 4 now that probably isn't right If your more of gun nut check the lastest firearms at [kroger market] beer !!! if i were a teamate in this, what would my role be? (ans: Captain Kirk) if you don't find the quest fun anymore you can get The big you go, the harder it gets and more danger you're in with the law getting in your way many snatchers have been shanked because they tried to use deadly force Common based snatchers are in it for a quick buck, so as such they won't try to take on an entire orc tribe by themselves They'll hit lone caravans and small to mid sized groups of merchants Most cases the black market isn't a criminal underworld full of dangerous felons and relentless mana-vampires as it is a bunch of bored immortals trying to pass the time One of these things is the demon market, located in the third layer of hell (dashit) , with a 50% savediscount! As the thief harvest goes on, something a bit odd stands out to you In each and every case of missing persons a lot of them were last seen in the area around Kroger's region That supermarket is either running a regular scam or is involved in this somehow It wouldn't be the strangest thing you've seen, and it certainly wouldn't be the worst crime organization By questioning the store manager, it becomes clear that he knows exactly what's going on at your supermarket The hell is this? This smelly bigfoot goes by many names, from dogman, to the grizzy, to bigfoot, yet in all cases it is all the same creature Some say it's a werecreature of some sort while others believe them to just be a rare species that has managed to avoid discovery all these years But fact is, they look like bigfoot and that's good enough for you with the scope With this mode, each gun has a different "feel" to it You'll need to spend some time with this to master precision shooting There's aiming on the move, finding your range, and many other types of shooting Since you've only got the one shot, make it a good one To shoot or not to shoot With a deer carcuss near it You find the creature standing outside for some reason with one shot Not such an easy task, considering you're pretty far away Your standard iron sights are going to have to do since you don't have an optic for this gun It's a bit tough since when you use this gun from the hip it's over 20 pounds, so getting your aim steady is important Fortunately for you there's no wind so you just have to account for your lateral movement and launch the round There's fur, blood and entrails everywhere It's easy meat to take back and sell, which is important, because you're not getting it for free after your hunt congrats op you've more than doubly profited from this encounter Choose: deer skin or alligator skin Oh ick totals Maybe this game would be a little easier with higher caliber guns, or at least ones that can accept scopes The noise really isn't worth it though since all you're doing is driving away any game in the area In the future it might be worth going furless, but for now all those useless bits can be turned into ichorium explosives , as usual So, loot and sell the gall bladder, liver, heart, intestines and maybe even a tooth or two Keep these offable parts in your pack until you get home, then put them in the fridge If you need more storage get a cooler or upgrade the house comes, sell more parts to him then cook dinner for you and your buddy While preparing the meat for cooking have some guests come over They brought a few six packs of brew with them Go ahead and share the wealth You should put it in your new fridge After eating, showing off a bit and having a generally good time its time to hit the hay You fell asleep on the couch so move yourself to the bed at 12 99 a person Ohh monetization Tonight's profit: 2168 ichorium shares, 8 silver, 4 quarters Days passed in the marsh and you still don't have Clyde or Fen just a lot of wet feet You do however have eaten everything in your fridge even the bait, so you're going to have to get more food or eat something inedible again like the alligator fleshes you've got hanging around The thought haunts you throughout the day and night It's really throwing off your concentration, you can't wait for this time to be over so you can bag a couple of wyverns First thing in the morning you sharpen your rifle and put on your pack This is going to be the day Not once, but twice people from the fort come and see if you're around and suddenly everyone wants to see me And they'res not just a few people they're like 18 of them You were out hunting so you weren't around to whlect their calls, replys or even show up while prying eyes were watching Instead they get your mildly annoyed brother in law to talk to them They leave dissapointed and unanswered Then you jump in and make things worse You wander into the fort to pick up a few things at the store and who do you find there? The same two wyvern jockeys that approached you To your surprise they knew you were out here, but even more surprising was what one of them said while the other looked on in silence "We would've been better off if you hadn't helped us at all Did I really do that much damage? You tried to wave them off and assure them of the contrary but they left shortly there after You could only hope they would come to appreciate what you did for them in time Just then an all too familiar symbol caught your attention, staring up at you from a wanted poster it was Clyde! Or rather Commander Ram himself If you wore a mask around here people might mistake you for someone else But what does it say about us that someone like him was able to take charge in the first place? You were Clyde There was no denying it But you couldn't hunt him down, not after what happened The poor sap that did finally catch up with him on that wanted notice looked a lot like Mason, even had a family resemblance It wasn't him, but it could've been What would you do if you found him, put a gun to his head and drag him back? It was a tempting idea but he probably wouldn't get far and in your current mood you might not be able to bring yourself to help if someone else was beating him to within an inch of his life It was shameful, but the best thing you could do for him right now was stay away However he still needed to be brought to justice, the way he was gallivanting around the countryside rounding up god knew who and throwing them in his cells was bad for business People would begin to unite against him and that could be far worse bandits, mercenaries, wary townies, kobolds all with one collective ideology: Fear Something you only engendered towards yourself and justified with your greater purpose To lose that power could cost you your survival! No, Ram had to be brought to justice, but not by you The best way of erasing your past was to put some distance between it and yourself You'd head west, maybe head out to sea or even up north to where the gnomes and their contraptions came from A new frontier, there had to be one yet untapped But before you could begin your new life you had to make one last trip out to the woods and see how Detlaf and Ranon were progressing on their logging town (You didn't want to go out there again ever but beggars can't be choosers ) You found them both cutting down trees like it was going out of style, which with the influx of new settlers it very well might Seeing you ride up they finally take a break You didn't really have to, but it was a convenient excuse to just sit there pulling up your shirt sleeve and scratching at your glowing badge of honor Your beam of light may have been gone, but it would never fade from your arm You came to accept that, you only wished you could do the same with the scars that wrapped around your back Still, the badges were going to come in handy as you've managed to use them as a conversation starter "See something you like Mason?" Ranon playfully sneered while waggling his eyebrows He probably didn't even realize what he was doing but you just let it slide and carry on with what you needed "That town you were working on looks like its coming along well "Town?" Ranon said with some pride "Haram, it's a city now King Sylvester himself stopped by recently to give his official endorsement Lot of people flooding to it You were genuinely happy for both of them but the news did stop you for a moment A whole another kingdom? If a place that big could form that fast just from one bandit gang then wherever you end up things were going to be very different Actually now that you thought about it considering how big the kingdom must be there was probably anothere bandit gang somewhere else doing much the same thing you were Bandits: Been there, done that It probably hadn't even been a year yet and already the game was up Well in for a coin, in for a Rai-ken You had made your decision and your destination doesn't matter as long as its a new frontier and they needed doctors right? Well maybe you'd stick to frontier clinics, but that was still medicine Might even get to put those old bandit skills of stealing from the sick for the good of the community Time would tell In any case you had some people to see and from there you'd make your plans Your next destination was Rask and then beyond it! Or so you thought Funny how things worked out, but it was the calm before the storm You laid down to sleep on your bed one night and then you heard a loud noise followed by the house shaking as if there was an earth quake going on Your rabbits in a stew because none of the furniture broke but everything ended up in disarray and broken pottery was everywhere One of your manticores came running in from one of the other rooms having been spooked by the noise if the trampled flower vase and rolling obei seeds meant anything You were still half-awake and pretty startled yourself, but instincts kicked in and you moved towards your rifle, thinking it was hostiles or something By the time you got into the living room and realized what happened it was over And just in time too, because you heard Naji let out an unearthly shriek of pain from her bedroom next door

[pangkatze]

general thoughts and notes on vld s7

yeah im no expert man, i aint no storyteller either. im just writing down the thoughts and fix-it notes me and my friend thought up after watching everything within 5 hours.

some episodes are untouched tho, mostly from ep 6 onwards, but you can see for yourself under keep reading.

okay sO,

EPISODE 1: a little adventure

we can probably agree it was a mess? shiro was on the verge of possibly dying again, and we got this weird and unnecessary side skit with coran, hunk, lance, romelle and pidge looking for,,, whatever it was actually. them having this thumbelina like adventure was so out of place???? i mean, we got a dying man here folks, why was that a thing. the flashbacks from keith were appreciated though. i just really got a lot of whiplash from the conflicting story of side a and b in this ep.

EPISODE 2: the road home

i dont have much of an impression of this ep, which is better than a bad one i guess? the whole passenger bit was a little funny, and we got to see these odd dynamics. when things got more serious the transition didnt give me a headache either, so thats a bonus. (theres a little ‘chekhovs gun’ scene i liked where lance mentions elephants to the alteans and, lo and behold, you see elephants in episode 8 when galran fleets enter earths atmosphere) (im sure there were more things like this that i spotted, but im too tired to look for them)

EPISODE 3: the way forward

coran, coran, my gorgeous man, what the fuck did they do to you? you went from eccentric but seemingly capable to,,,, whatever the fuck you were in this ep. what happened to s1 coran that defended the princess with a fucking ladle and food goo, or the coran from s6 where he was able to temporarily fix the castles issue with a fuckin alien molotov cocktail. whatever happened, it ended up fucking over coran and made him into this, which is a huge shame honestly.

ezor and zethrid serving up unexpected sapphic vibes came from left field though. i love it. keep going, you funky evil lesbians. on the other hand, axca also got to serve something content-wise, and pointing out the fact she seemed to unconsciously orbit keith after he saved her was something i wanted pinned out and solved but not like this, honestly. i mean, the whole ‘true love’ joke was a step to far, really. either way, at least she explained her motives. but where did she go afterwards? (another note: its kinda weird that, with the time skip, in a sense keith was the least affected, since hes 20 and all that. its not a bad thing though, personally.)

EPISODE 4: the feud!

yeah, uhhhhhhh, fuck this episode????

almost absolutely nothing spared me from hating this episode besides keiths drawing efforts, and maybe the final round confessions, but good GOD thats all it had for itself. the only joy i felt in this episode besides that too was seeing pidge pull a front and murk bob from his bootleg scooby-doo doughnut floatie. 

fuck bob in particular

i mean, i know it was a filler episode, but dammit it couldve been something else entirely if it ended with pidges scene. you can call me biased with this idea since i avoid shows like family feud for the sake of saving myself from second-hand embarrassment, or maybe from the fact that i used to relate to an aspect of lance (that personally think got too blown up), but maybe if they got out sooner (possibly as a result of katie decking shitstain floaty-pants off his high ground) theyd follow the linear part of waking up in their lions and finding out,with courtesy from coran, that instead of some omnipotent asshole judge of ancient heroes, it was some deep-space intergalactic sentient-miasma or something that does weird mind games with heroic prey, and chose the paladins specifically for one reason or another. better than making him seem like an ally when all i wanna do when i see is face is shank him.

and with the time thats left in the ep after, our non-paladin passengers are updated by the team of this weird ass incident , before keith notices lance seems less responsive. (i was personally thinking shiro at first but then i realized hes in pidges lion, and it might not work for this next sequence) after opening a private connection to the red lion and asking whats the sitch, lance reluctantly admits to being a bit more hurt with that whole ”idiot” shtick in the feud sequence than he let on. recalling the moment from s3 with lance willing to step down for the sake of the team, keith, (albeit awkwardly, remember his and hunks talk this season) assures lance of his place and value in the team as a paladin and friend, which gets further bolstered by hunk, pidge and allura dragging both of them back into the conversation, maybe with light teasing and an (seemingly unnecessary) apology from allura for her ’rudeness’ from earlier. seems like a sweeter deal right? idk.

i just really hate bob dont mind me.

EPISODE 5: the ruins

[ill be breaking my streak of complaints for this small section of compliments so here it is.]

oh man, i actually enjoyed the beginning part of this ep, for once. i forget how big the lions actually are, so this was a pleasant reminder. the training sequence krolia made had, in a way, also eased me into the more battle driven part of the episode too so, while most likely unintentional, i liked it. hunk and kosmo interacting was really cool too and im so glad that was a thing, holy shit. and finding out kosmo wasnt even kosmo until now, and that keith didnt name him until the others did it for him seemed, pretty in character, actually.

now, the whole planet sequence wasnt as bad either i guess. kosmo couldve zapped away with more than one person (as shown before) , so why only keith? why not krolia too, if i recall, since she seemed to be next to him too, but i can be sure. side-boss diversion trope was a thing here with that druid ngl. allura’s deus-ex-machina powers dont get explained, just like a lot of other things she does, which im sad over, and think its too convenient sometimes. actually, now that i think of it, maybe im forgetting crucial info about her powers that have been stated before, cant be sure. (but hey it saved shiro and the other many times though, so i try not to be fed up with it much.) 

yes, i did in fact cry over krolia and keith separating, with the hefty L word, even, thank you for asking.

and thats about it. the rest of the episodes speak for themselves, though i do have to pick on the whole adam situation before ending this since, honestly im rather upset at that. a lot of people are. hell, i guess almost a good chunk of the fandom just done and dropped the series after that. i mean. it was so.... empty?we didnt learn jack shit about him, or his relationship to shiro. he just up and went.

 so. how about another restructure?

so base defenses are getting culled, not looking great. we know adam was the last one to die, so maybe in an attempt to save his own skin, he retreats. (maybe he does it in remembering the fact that shiro is alive and somewhere out there, that makes him change his mind. in the end he wants to see him again.) whether he gets back to the base, but gets seized for defying admirals orders, or whether he hides out and somehow survives long enough to be part of the small resistance, i have yet to think through. but either way, he doesnt get chewed out as badly thanks to commander holt, whos aware of his relationship to our (re)tired space dad. this is where sam and adam talk about the situation, then shiro. (this would be an opportune time to do flashbacks of them, from adams view.) 

then shiro comes back with the others, and things play out the same with the exception that they both are alive and talking, instead of shiro facing a slap of wall dedicated to those who've passed. this is where the end results in them either breaking up amicably or reconciling their relationship, and they part either permanently or not, since shiro joins the debriefing and adam would do other things depending on him either being part of the resistance or a part of the garrison.

see? not perfect, but better than  being dead, id imagine.

i guess that about as much thoughts as i can regurgitate tonight. if you read everything, ill give you kudos for reading a strangers ramblings over a show.

but, honestly i wouldnt give too much grief to dreamworks for this. they tried, and it wasnt a purposeful offense, i hope, not to mention we’re a season away from closing this story. and im losing my train of thought so ill stop it here, but feel free to keep talking to me abt anything i missed either here, my ask or privately.

[toxicbubblegum212]

Maze runner ~ Sleepover with the boys Part 2 let the games begin ~

First if all sorry this took so bloody long to update. I know i should have updated this sooner but i was a bit caught up in schooling. But here you go hope you like it shank.

Minho: Well!! Go on Thomas

Gally: Yeah what we betting on

Thomas: Well we have to get rid of Alby firts, but i dont know bout you lot but i plan make Y/N mine by the end of tonight.

Minho: As if

Newt: i still don't think this is right

Gally: Then prepare to lose

Chuck: i don't want anything to do with this but leave Alby up to me (wow thats the most contradiction i've seen in once sentence)

Thomas: Fine fine ill make it more realistic, lets just have fun with Y/N

Newt: Are bloody mad!!!

Minho: Deal! She'll be with me boys...

Gally:...i dont know isn't that just like using her?

Thomas: Not if she likes it *smirks*

Newt: I swear one day i will hit you and i wont be sorry *glares*

Minho: i dont see a problem in it? She's single, were all single i hope...so what's the harm???

Newt: i guess your right...but still!

Y/N: Hi Guys!!! *burst into room*

*boys are all shokith*

Y/N: Omg you guys are having a meeting without me!! Rude! Also where is Alby?

*all the boys look at one another*

Thomas: uuuummmm

Newt: He's tending to something important

Y/N: *hears screaming* Is...that Chuck?!

Newt: NO! its just a a aaa Goat!

Y/N: What......?

Thomas: Yeah Winston's been teaching his pet goat new tricks. *smiles awkwardly*

Gally: Y/N i missed you *walks over wrapping you up in a warm bear hug*

Y/N: *blushes intensely, enjoy how warm and cosy the hug is*

*Gally looks over his shoulder and the boys who looked pissed*

Gally: *breaks hug, grabbing your hand dragging you over to the group* Come on sit we have a lot of stuff planned this evening.

*the two of you sat nice and close to each other*

Y/N: Why are you guys so tense??? *you look over seeing all of them Glaring at Gally and then at one another*

Y/N: Are you guys like telepathic or some shit!!!

Newt: Oh no we are just having very intense staring contest!

Y/N: Why?

Minho: No reason, don't worry your pretty little head of sweet pea. *Minho throws a wink at you, of course you blush*

Gally: Alright Thomas! What do we do first?

Thomas: Well i got some options

Thomas:...we got truth or dare, hide and seek, murder in the dark and 7 minutes in heaven...

Y/N: ....*blushes in tensely*

Minho: You nervous? *smirks*

Gally: Don't be beautiful

Newt: Its your choice Y/N....

Sorry i haven't been updating. But im back, also comment which one of these do you want in the next chapter (truth or dare, hide and seek, murder in the dark or 7 mins in heaven.)

[artificialqueens]

Meat and greet (Trixya) ~ Evelyn°c

AN: I saw the fic challenge and i was truily inspired. Somwhere along the line i associated Anatomy, Flawless and Crispy with a cannibal AU. Its a weird concept, and the fic ended up going on alot longer than i expected. Also its set in England for some reason. ENjoY!!,!.!

Dear Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova

You are cordially invited to the annual feast of baroness needles, and we would be delighted to have you cater for the event. Im sure you are already aware of the guests unconventional tastes and trust you will prepare each dice of meat to the highest quality. We await your reply, and presence at the table.

Yours faithfully, Alaska~ ~

Of corse the invite was no surprise. It had been this way for the past four years. She’d chopped, diced, seasoned and minced food for the best. Baronesses, Countesses, even Queens.

Katya took another glance at the finely inked words on the parchment in front of her. She rolled her thumbs over the flat surface of the paper, it felt like it was probably worth more than her entire existence.

The words burnt into her mind. Unconventional tastes. Thats certainly one way to put it. Nothing about this was conventional. She choked the rising feeling of dread back down into the pit of her stomach as she looked up from the paper to the stone structure ahead of her.

She found herself on the infamous driveway of Sharon’s mansion. Anybody who was anyone had been here, gawking at the archaic stone structure and probably questioning their decision to visit. The sunrise casted a silhouette of abject terror over Katya.

The nicest way to describe it would be intimidating, but even this was a push. The walls were draped in ivy and lichens, spilling from each crevice, crack and gargoyle the mansion contained. The stone itself was less of a grey, more a stained black, presumably from the years of moss swallowing the building. Twisted trees with dislocated branches splintered in the distance, bearing no leaves.

The thick fog rolling over the valley didn’t exactly ease the atmosphere either. Katya began her trudge up the drive feeling the gravel underfoot envelope her heel with a satisfying crunch, the feint buzz of light coming from the tinted windows just visible as it soaked into the mist.

The only thing spookier was probably Baroness needles herself.

Katya felt the sting of cold air knife her as she grasped the edges of her jumper, knuckles turning white. She let out a drawn breath before finally making it to a large regal door, equipped with a bronzed knocker in the shape of a serpents face. She ran her hands through her frizzy blonde hair taking in the feeling of deja vu.

The cook gave a brief knock, awaiting a response. Of corse Alaska or Sharon themselves wouldn’t answer, it would be one of their various butlers unfortunate enough to find employment there.

Katya leaned on the frame of the door, observing the landscape. Thorn bushes never yielded any type of flower in the vast courtyard, and any pond with once running water was reduced to a thick mass of brown and black algae. Sharon had inherited the mansion but god knows how. Her chats with Baroness needles were normally limited to food preparation, so much of her past was unbeknownst to Katya.

Alaska on the other hand was a more sharing individual. She’d stop by the mansion kitchen every now and then, maybe ask for advice on what colour to wear then and wander off. Katya could only imagine what drew Alaska and Sharon to marry in the first place, but she had a feeling Alaska’s lust for money had some role in the matter.

Nothing about Alaska and Sharron’s wealth was subtle. They flaunted it. Every social event, every gathering, they wore crowns and jewels supplied by countries Katya couldn’t even pronounce. They threw events left right and centre, but this event was special.

Not because the guests were royalty, not even because of the excessive amount of cash being flaunted. It was special because the dish Katya would be serving was human flesh.

Admittedly, this was an acquired taste, but Katya was never one to judge a pallet, especially that of the richest people in the country. She liked to treat it as any other dish she prepared. Any other shank of lamb, any other belly of pork.

Katya could picture the stiff pale body in the middle of the cold metallic table. She could picture the apron she’d been so used to, draping around her form, covered in copper blood, rusted and brown. She could picture the blank milky eyes staring into Katya’s blue ones, eyelids peeled back from de-hydration.

She had become accustomed to the anatomy of the human body very well at this point. She knew what flesh tasted good with what kind of wine, and what parts were rendered useless and chucked outside for the crows. She could recite every meat cleaver in order of size and tell you the best one to use for cutting cartilage.

Alas, each calculated chop and stab still brought up a question in her mind, no matter how hard she tried to shove it down. How did they die?

Of corse Katya didn’t kill the victim herself, thats just immoral. Her best guess is that Sharon sourced dead bodies from a local morgue or something, but the bodies never looked a day over 30. Whatever they died of wasn’t old age.

Though morally twisted, Katya found herself in this position every year. She never stuck around to eat the specially prepared meat, her clothes just didn’t match the high fashion atmosphere. She looked like a pebble in comparison to the diamond encrusted corsets and gowns.

Why would this year be any different? For starters, a butler didn’t answer the door, Sharon did. The Baroness instinctively grimaced at Katyas apparel after looking her up and down.

“Hello to you too” Katya sniffed after a few seconds of silence, turning her attention from the courtyard to the well dressed woman ahead of her.

No surprises, Sharon was clad head to toe in black, pale skin in stark contrast, creating the visage of some sort of undead leather fetishist. Her pupils were two pin pricks, sharpened further by the shadow that engulfed her eyes.

She looked behind Katya, scanning for other people in the way only a paranoid cannibal would. “Katya, do come in” Sharon spoke through her jagged teeth, gritted into an obligatory smile.

Katya stepped into the confides of the mansion. whilst the exterior was more than grim, the interior screamed sophistication and wealth. Her eyes were first drawn to the long velvet staircase, a rich shade of red with gold lining. Katya could picture the grand entrances Sharon had probably indulged herself in over the past few years.

The room was a warm hue of red, lit up by a glass chandelier just overhead. Paintings strung up around the wall depicted past and present queens, a good deal of them a participant in the annual feast. Katya shuddered, picturing gravy dribbling down chins with the noise of crunching bones and fat filling the dining hall.

The pair entered the front room as Sharon began to furrow her brow almost instantaneously. “Look there’s been some trouble with the…meat”

“How much trouble can dead meat cause? Did it bite you?” Katya joked, feeling the gust of wind slam the door behind her, causing her to jump.

“Theres been some trouble getting the meat” Sharon spat back, rolling her eyes. She began pacing the room, rubbing her temple instinctively. “Ive got too many people coming tonight, i can’t tell them they aren’t getting any food…”

Katya shrugged, making her way over to the shelves to observe the various taxidermied creatures on display. “So ill just cook up some beef. The posh bastards will never know the difference”

“Katya, they’re paying thousands to eat human flesh, if its not somebody else’s they’ll eat mine” Sharon sighed, looking up at one of her many paintings.

“I don’t know what you want me to do about it, we could cook Alaska?” Katya laughed, poking a particular stuffed racoon apprehensively, only half listening to the baroness.

“For god’s sake I’m being serious, my reputation is on the line!” Sharon yelled, lacing a hand through her white hair, balling her fist. She looked tense. Sharon’s expression cleared slightly as she began to approach a startled Katya. “I need you to do something for me.” She spoke with a hint of desperation.

Katya backed off a little bit here, bumping into the shelves. “No way you aren’t eating me, back up” She said frantically, raising her hands in front of her.

“Not you dipshit”

Oh.

“Then who?”

The baroness narrowed her eyes in consideration here. “A member of staff.” She nodded, happy with her conclusion. “I want you to kill a member of staff.”

Katya reeled back, she was used to cooking people, not killing people. Those were two completely different leagues. “Why cant you?”

“I have to tend to the guests, completely out of the question” Sharon shook her head, crossing her arms expectantly. “Are you in need of some extra persuasion miss Zamo?”

“Im not sure i like where this is going” Katya grimaced, looking around for Alaska.

“I’ll pay double”

“Well this is a potentially traumatic experience for me. The guilt may drive me insane…” Katya drawled, tracing her finger across the wooden surface of the shelf.

“Triple”

How could she refuse? She’d live in luxury for the entire year with that kind of change in her pocket. Katya pursed her lips. She needed to show Sharon she meant business here. “Triple plus that stuffed racoon” She pointed, grinning manically at the creature.

The white haired woman planted her head between her palms. “I can’t believe you” She croaked. “Fine, just have them dead and cooked by this afternoon” She said, making her way over to the staircase where she took one last glance at Katya.

“Any member of staff?”

“Except the butlers”

“And just to confirm not Alaska?”

Baroness needles stormed up the staircase, mumbling some profanities to herself. Katya chuckled before taking a glance at the grand clock in the corner. 9:45. Sharon was right, the guests would arrive soon and there was only so much stalling she could do.

With that, Katya brushed the lint from her jumper. Nothing stood between her and getting £100,000. By any means necessary, she’d eliminate another human being for the satisfaction of 50 inebriated millionaires.

~

Katya strolled around the courtyard. The air was still thick with fog as she tried to navigate her way around the rows of dead greenery and fallen leaves. The blonde squinted her eyes, trying to distinguish any kind of human silhouette.

Katya wasn’t sure who she was looking for, but she concluded most of the butlers worked in the house, and Sharon had made it clear butlers were off limits. Perhaps she could find a nice janitor, scrubbing the gutters precariously balanced on a ladder that could take an ‘accidental fall.’

Katya was enjoying this a little too much, going over each possible scenario for murder in her head.

After a small walk and a few unfortunate accidents involving stepping on snails, Katya found herself at the furthest end of the courtyard. She felt the cobblestone and leaves under her feet abruptly end as it was replaced with lush grass, still moist from last nights downpour.

If the rest of the garden was dead, this part was living, breathing.

The hedgerows littered with berries, a glossy red colour, resembling small marbles rather than fruit. Circles of mud decorated with soft pink primroses and petunias surrounded Katya. Gusts of wind would rustle the trees and wind-chimes, sounding delicate metalIic clinks. It was an idealistic flawless sanction of growth.

Everything was undeniably pretty, but also raised a few questions. Why the hell would such a thriving area of garden be in an otherwise stony decaying courtyard? It wasn’t exactly fitting with The baronesses aesthetic. Alaska didn’t seem the type either.

“Oh, can i help you?” A hushed voice sounded behind Katya, causing her to jolt and grasp at her heart in mild shock. She spun in place towards the source of the noise.

Stood by a small tree with a pair of hedge clippers in hand was a woman with long blonde hair. Katya was completely caught off guard, she was almost as flawless as the garden she was maintaining. Deep blue eyes, a sympathetic smile, a terrifyingly large pair of hedge clippers. Katya almost forgot to breathe. She shook herself out of it. This had to be a sign. The other woman was tall and curvy in figure, she looked delectable. “Just admiring this beautiful garden.” Katya admitted, making her way over to the blonde. “You did this yourself?” She asked, arching a brow.

The other girl grinned, flushing slightly, using a well manicured hand to brush some dirt off her pink skirt. “I thought it was a shame such a large garden was so empty” she said propping the clippers against the tree.

Katya was standing in front of her now, putting on her best smile. She needed every moment to be casual, nothing out of the ordinary. If Katya did this right the girl would think she’s just making a new friend. “I didn’t think Sharon hired gardeners?”

“Ah she brought me in a couple of months ago…” She looked to the floor here. “Do you work here too?”

“Im the chef for the event tonight, Katya Zamolodchikova.” The smaller woman said, enjoying the blondes reaction to hearing her last name. Katya was aware it was an unusual one, most would assume she’s Russian.

“Trixie Mattel” she beamed, extending a hand for a brief shake. “You’ve been to the feast?? Whats it like?” She gasped, her pink lips thinning into an expectant smile as they parted hands.

“Have you seen the scene in Indiana jones where they serve monkey brains? Sort of like that” Katya chuckled. Trixie screamed in delight. Of corse she would have no idea what the real dish was, if word got out there would be a public scandal no amount of money could cover up.

“Ive always wanted to sit at the table with Sharon, thats a life long dream” Trixie admitted, crossing her arms and drifting off into fantasy. Little did Trixie know she would be at the meal. She’d be the guest of honour.

A plan formulated in Katya’s head as Trixie looked wistfully into the distance. She’d have to murder her of corse. There was too much money riding on someone being dead to not go through with it. Still, she was such a sweet girl. Shyly breaking eye contact, red around her ears and cheeks. Such a waste of life.

“Well” Katya said, pulling Trixie out of her daydream and placing a hand on her shoulder. “How about i whip you up some food? You must be hungry”

Trixie burnt under Katya’s touch. “I couldn’t expect you to do that for me” she shook her head, looking both apologetic and grateful.

“Nonsense it would be my pleasure, lets go” Katya spoke sternly. She wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Katya pictured the scene in her head, Trixie biting down on Katya’s specially prepared dish, the poison seeping into her body, inevitably shutting it down. Quick and easy. She’d poison Trixie mattel.

Trixie tried to protest but Katya’s hand moved from her shoulder to the small of her back, forcing her along the pathway. “Its a lovely offer but-”

“How does a nice beef wellington sound?” Katya cut in, flashing a perfect row of teeth to the taller woman.

Trixie looked slightly confused, knitting her brows. “That wouldn’t be so bad” she shrugged as the pair made their way down the path, exchanging pleasantries and light conversation.

~

“I’ve never had a chance to explore the mansion” Trixie said, wide eyed admiring the dining hall, running her fingers across each surface as she passed. “If Alaska or Sharon found me slacking off they’d have my head on a platter”

Katya let out a small laugh, but not for the right reasons. She looked over to the other girl, she really was in awe of everything the mansion contained. She felt a small pang of guilt remembering this would be the last thing Trixie would ever see.

“It has it’s charm” Katya admitted, making her way over to the table in the centre of the room. Silver cutlery circled the edges, placemats probably woven from the silk of Scandinavian jumping spiders or something outrageously posh like that.

Trixie nodded, taking a seat. Katya instinctively took the chair besides her, quirking a brow. “So, how do you like your beef?” Katya inquired, a joking tone in her voice.

“Ive literally never thought about it…crispy?” Trixie giggled, resting the side of her head into her palm.

“Eloquently put miss Mattel” Katya leaned back in her seat, taking in the smell of floral incense that attempted to cover the smell of thick varnish that plagued the stately home. She heard Trixie sound a small chuckle beside her.

“I cant help feeling a bit bad, i have nothing to offer in return for a lovely meal” The gardener admitted to Katya. She sounded sincerely apologetic. This made Katya shift in her seat. The more the other blonde spoke the more real the situation was. She felt sick.

“How about a bunch of flowers?” Katya spoke, voice strained. She just wanted to get this over with. The less time it had to fester in her mind the better. “We’ll take a stroll back to the garden before i have to begin meal preparation for the guests”

“I’d like that” Trixie nodded, that familiar creep of red showing around her ears.

Katya smiled, giving her a quick wink before standing from her seat and making her way over to the kitchen door. This was getting alot more sentimental than Katya was hoping for. Her time with Trixie, though brief, had sent a hurricane of conflicting feelings through Katya.

Her laugh, her smile, her sense of humour. Of all people deserving of death it certainly wasn’t Trixie. Katya took a glance back to the gardener. She was poking at the silverware on the table with a huge grin. Adorable.

To think she was about 6 hours away from being served on a platter.

Katya burst through the kitchen door, hand over her mouth, feeling about ready to eject her stomach through her throat. She saw the room she’d been so used to. For the past four years she had no hangups about slicing and dicing dead bodies, why would Katya start growing a conscience for a poorer-than-dirt worker?

Katya wiped a growing bead of sweat from her brow. No, this wasn’t right. 100,000 quid doesn’t make it any more acceptable to take another life. Still, she had to give Sharon something. If she went back empty handed, Katya would never find work again.

The cook groaned. She did know one thing. She had promised a delicious, crispy, beef wellington to Trixie.

After about half an hour of pounding beef and rolling puff pastry with pure rage, Katya had popped a savoury dish in the oven. She opened the overhead cabinet and spotted the rat poison, wincing at its glaring warning sign equipped with skull and crossbones. This would be the garnish, the finishing touch. Taking it down from the shelf, Katya placed the poison on the side for later use, turning quickly to exit the kitchen and check on Trixie.

“In the oven” The chef puffed, taking the same seat beside the gardener. “You, Trixie Mattel, are in for a treat”

“Im sure i am” Trixie laughed breathlessly. They were sitting close. Katya could see each of her features gleam under the intensive lighting. “Can i ask you a question though?”

Shit, had Katya blown it? Crap she could only imagine what Trixie was about to ask. The last thing she wanted was to raise suspicion.

“Your last name is odd, are you from Russia?”

Oh.

“Not last time i checked” Katya let out a sigh of relief hearing the other blonde chuckle. God, she enjoyed Trixie’s laugh a bit too much. It was infectious. Katya let out a breathy laugh grasping the side of Trixie’s arm leaning forward. Not that her comment had been particularly funny, but the gardeners delight was infectious.

“I didn’t think there was anyone on the estate that would go near me” Trixie admitted, Katya’s hand still clasped around her arm. “I was surprised when you offered me food” Her voice softened.

“Well you seemed like you earned it. Anyone who has to put up with Sharon needles deserves a 5 star meal”

They sat there for a moment, Katya realising her grip on Trixie was a little too tight as she reluctantly removed her hand. She broke eye contact and began to scoot back her chair. “I should go check on the-”

“Wait, Katya” She felt a warm grasp around her hand, stopping the chef in her tracks. She looked over to a flustered Trixie. “I-uh…Thank you”

Katya paused for a moment before offering a large open mouthed smile. “You are too sweet miss Matell, thank me after you’ve eaten” Katya squeezed down on Trixie’s hand before letting go, standing from her seat. Trixie sunk back down in her chair slightly with a defeated look. It pained Katya but she really couldn’t allow herself to get attached.

Katya pushed open the kitchen doors and glanced over the prepared food, baking in the rattling oven. She took it out, chewing the inside of her cheek, feeling the sting of heat under her fingertips as she placed it on the cool counter by the rat poison.

This is for 100,000 pounds. Thats alot of money. How many copies of contact can you buy with that kind of cash? Alot probably.

Katya steadied herself as she opened up the poison container with a satisfying pop, before taking a handful of pellets in her fist. She was shaking badly, trying not to picture Trixie’s face. Reluctantly the cook stuffed the pellets within the confides of the beef wellington. She was sure enough they could be passed off as fancy herbs if the question arose.

She added the finishing touches before delicately placing it on a silver platter. Katya would even consider eating it herself aside from the fatal dose of rodent killer. Walking through the doors into the dining hall, Katya saw Trixie’s look of amazement as she oogled at the steaming dish.

“I can see why they hire you here” Trixie said with an exited tone, eyes fixated on the silver platter. “Want to half it with me?”

Katya shook her head patting her stomach, placing the platter on the varnished surface. “Im watching my diet”

Trixie shrugged before taking the knife and fork from the table, sinking it deep into the beef wellington, relishing the slow cracking noise of the pastry. She looked so contented. Katya wanted to look away but she couldn’t. All the thoughts and doubts she had been pushing down were surfacing. She was about to commit murder, no better than a petty criminal. No amount of money would rectify that.

No amount of money would change the fact she’d taken another life.

“Wait wait Trix” Katya spluttered instinctively before the beef could reach Trixie’s lips. The gardener turned to her expectantly, a little confused. Katya had to think of a reasonable explanation fast.

“I…didn’t check the expiration date on that beef” Katya choked, mustering up the lamest excuse she could. “I wouldn’t eat that”

Trixie put the fork down, still smiling. “You tease” She joked, shaking her head. “Well, i still got to see the mansion at least”

Katya felt a wave of relief wash over her, followed by the jolt of realisation that she’d never find work again. Sharon would make sure of that. It didn’t phase Katya at this point, her newest friend would stay alive and healthy, planting flowers, blood pumping.

She felt the urge to just run. Get out of the mansion as soon as possible. Katya shrugged at Trixie before giving another one of her manic grins. “Fancy going out for a meal instead?”

“Im supposed to be working”

“I’ll vouch for you” That was a lie on Katya’s behalf. She was never going to set foot near Sharon or Alaska again. Or at least thats what she hoped.

“Well-”

Before Trixie got the chance to reply she was being dragged out the door, into the low fog. Katya knew this was the right choice, the dinner guests would just have to go hungry tonight. Their meal was safe and sound by Katya’s side, laughing at her terrible jokes.

They left the estate laughing maniacally, talking about food.