#if possible I almost feel even more strongly about this one than the Leia one

[onwardintolight]

Han Solo, ENFJ

For the second in my series of posts on commonly mistyped Star Wars characters because I just can’t help myself (see my first about Leia as an INFP instead of an ENTJ or ESTJ here), I’m moving on to our favorite scoundrel. Once again, I think people tend to base their typing of him on how he appears when he’s under stress (and also, in Han’s case, on who he pretends to be), rather than on how he actually reveals himself to be over the course of the movies.

This post was inspired by @charming-tothelast’s excellent post on Han’s character here, as well as this AMAZING conversation by @bestmixtapeintherecorder and @imrix.

Most people seem to type Han as either an ESTP or an ISTP. I admit that, when I first read the descriptions of both of those, they seemed to fit really well, particularly ESTP. Adventurous, thrives in the moment? Check. A knack for mechanics? Check. Charming? Check. Not particularly fond of rules? Check. Commitment issues? Well, yes, for an ESTP, but contrary to what many assume, I believe that Han, while certainly an adventurer, actually craves commitment as well.

I’m going to argue that, while Han may outwardly at times appear to be an ESTP, he’s actually a true ENFJ who is often in the Fe-Se loop, or otherwise in the grip of his Ti.

I’m going to be drawing evidence from not only the movies, but also what I see as widely accepted fanon (some of which may come from the original EU). While I will be drawing evidence from Disney canon, which on the whole I believe supports my argument (at times very clearly), I will not, however, be drawing from the kind of post-TFA fanon that contends Han was a terrible husband and father, as I think that’s a baseless assumption rooted in a mistaken, pop-culture view of Han.

First let’s take a look at each of the ENFJ cognitive functions and how Han exhibits them, and then I’ll do some further expounding.

Dominant Function: Extraverted Feeling (Fe) Han may constantly try to hide it, but he cares about people, a lot. In fact, throughout the movies and the books, we see him consistently attaching himself to people and doing everything he can to take care of them, at great personal cost. He talks a lot to the contrary, of course, and tries to make himself out to be a loner and a mercenary, but his actions show a person who, at his core, is drawn to people and motivated by his heart for others.

We see this in the way he constantly looks out for Luke and Leia throughout the original trilogy, anticipating their needs and dropping everything to take care of them (something that’s referenced over and over again throughout multiple books and comics). His giving up of his Imperial career when he was younger to rescue Chewie and his subsequent bond with the Wookiee is also evidence of this, as is the way he takes Rey and Finn under his wing in TFA. We also see it in Bloodline in his mentor relationship with Greer. These are just a few examples; there are countless others throughout canon. Han may say he’s only out for himself, but the scores of people he takes under his wing like a mother hen speak to the contrary. Despite his blustering talk, he is happiest and most himself not when he is “solo” or seeking out sensory thrills (though the latter is definitely a part of who he is), but when he is in relationships where he can be a good friend or mentor, attending to the needs of the people he loves.

Fe-doms are empathetic and often have a good sense of what others are feeling. They are often more comfortable with and have a better understanding of others’ feelings than their own. While it’s hard to peer past Han’s words into his mind to see just how empathetic he is, a scene that I believe illustrates this perfectly is the famous “I love you” “I know” scene in Empire. In that moment, Han is entirely concerned about Leia. He senses her distress and wants to reassure her that he’s known what up until now she’s been unable to say. There may be several reasons why he doesn’t say “I love you” back: He may have already told her in the past, and consequently he thinks it’s more crucial for her to hear “I know” at this point. Or perhaps he’s gently trying to prepare her for the likelihood that this might be the end for him, and by withholding his “I love you” somehow make it easier for her to go on without him. There’s also the possibility that he may be somewhat confused about what he himself feels (I personally don’t think this is as likely, considering his longtime pursuit of her, but that’s an argument for another time). Either way, he shows an empathy and an emotional awareness in this scene that are in accordance with high Fe.

Han also exhibits Fe (together with his auxiliary function, Ni) in that he is excellent not only at reading people and picking up on the vibes of a room, but also at turning things to his favor through his interpersonal skills. He is charismatic, charming, and persuasive, and is often able to talk his way out of a bad situation. While he won’t hesitate to pull his blaster if necessary, he prefers harmony and will use his people skills to try and maintain it if he can.

People with high Fe tend to pay especial attention not only to other people, but to their physical surroundings. They often like to exert a degree of control and order over their personal spaces, preferring them to be just so. Han may exhibit this with his care and attention to the Millennium Falcon, and his protectiveness over it. He doesn’t take kindly to just anyone messing with his “baby.”

Finally, Han may say otherwise, but he cares deeply about others’ approval. This is partly why Leia’s barbs hit such a vein with him. Additionally, her comments such as the one about him being “quite a mercenary” in ANH really sting, not only because it’s a sign of her disapproval, but because it’s a reminder that he’s suppressing his best, most authentic, caring self.

Auxiliary Function: Introverted Intuition (Ni) Han frequently has hunches and acts on them, and those hunches often prove to be correct. He doesn’t tend to pay too much attention to objective logic, preferring to ignore the odds and follow his extremely well-honed intuition. He often gets a “bad feeling” about a situation and is proven right. Conversely, if he has a good feeling about it, he’ll jump into situations that other people might consider incredibly fool-hardy, such as flying into an asteroid field and landing inside an asteroid to evade Imperial ships. He is able to fly by the seat of his pants because his intuition is so good at giving him foresight and predicting outcomes. This, in concert with his other three functions, also makes him really good at sabacc.

People with auxiliary Ni often have their head in the future, aspiring to things and making plans. They also tend towards commitment. Because Han is often in a Fe-Se loop, we don’t see this as his preference at times (more on the loop later). However, I think we do see that in spite of himself, Han ends up committing to things. At first, he’s committed to the smuggler’s life, taking care of himself and his own (Chewie), and he struggles when the Rebellion pulls him away from that. His commitment to pay back Jabba and follow his previous dreams then wars with his desire to stay with the Rebellion. He ends up sticking around and eventually committing to the Rebellion, perhaps because it so deeply lines up with those core motivations of his Fe that he has trouble bringing himself to admit. Finally, he commits himself to Leia, marrying her and staying faithful (despite the rough spots and absences implied by TFA/new canon).

Tertiary Function: Extraverted Sensing (Se) While Han’s Ni ultimately leads him to commit, it’s his Se that often tries to tug him away. Han thrives on adventure, exploring and traveling the galaxy with Chewie, and he enjoys a good thrill. While this is definitely a part of who he is, it is even more overt the less emotionally healthy he is (see my thoughts on the Fe-Se loop below).

He is very in tune with his senses. He enjoys hands-on, sensory pursuits such as flying, racing, tinkering with his ship, and even (according to a lot of fanon) cooking. He generally prefers a hands-on approach to theorizing, and may forego planning and practical concerns in favor of just diving in. We see this many times, including in ANH when he chases stormtroopers down a corridor of the Death Star (note that his purpose for doing this is to divert them from Luke and Leia — in this case his Se is serving his Fe), and the “Hey, it’s me!” scene in ROTJ, when he impulsively attempts to take down several scout troopers on Endor. He’s a doer who lives in the moment, often dropping everything to go help someone or do something he thinks is right, such as on Hoth when he rushes out to look for a missing Luke, or in Aftermath: Empire’s End when he makes plans at a moment’s notice with Sinjir and Temmin to sneak off and go rescue Norra and Jas.

Inferior Function: Introverted Thinking (Ti) Han isn’t particularly concerned with impractical theories. As I’ve already said, he prefers using his intuition (Ni) to straight-up logic. That doesn’t mean he never uses critical analysis, though, particularly when there’s a concrete, practical application (such as all the theoretical and technical knowledge it takes to fly his ship well).

The inferior function often rears its ugly head during times of stress, taking over for one’s other functions and making someone behave in ways they otherwise wouldn’t.

According to this post by @mbti-notes, particular stressors for an ENFJ would include “feeling misunderstood by others, feeling unappreciated or taken for granted or not taken seriously, being treated impersonally or dismissively, feeling an absence of trust, feeling pressure to conform to rules or standards that they disagree with, experiencing situations that do not provide closure, having relationships with unresolved issues/conflicts, feeling stifled and having no opportunity to apply skills/talents/abilities, having too many demanding deadlines or extra responsibilities… experiencing excessively negative disagreements that are perceived as personal attacks, being unable to persuade others or get their point across when necessary… dealing with uncooperative or aloof people…” etc.

In response to triggers such as these and others, an ENFJ with inferior Ti like Han would likely become cold and detached. They would tend to insist doggedly on their own views, refusing to open their minds to others’ perspectives. They might act out of spite and bitterly lash out at people. They might leap to conclusions, see themselves as a victim and become very critical of others when those people don’t meet their expectations for a relationship. And they might be tempted to just break things off or walk away if things go bad.

We definitely see this happen with Han. At the beginning of ESB, we find Han arguing with Leia, trying desperately to get her to admit to her feelings. He is hurt by her coldness and aloofness, frustrated by the failure of his expectations for their relationship, and probably generally feels unappreciated. He also may be feeling stifled, stuck on the base at Hoth with a Rebellion he’s still wrestling with being committed to. He snaps and decides he’s had enough. He determines to leave, but first he and Leia have a confrontation where both their inferior functions cause them to come out swinging, lashing out at one another with sarcasm and biting remarks. I’d guess that most of the times Han gets angry and snaps at Leia, especially in ESB, this is the cause.

Later, on Endor in ROTJ, Han confronts Leia after seeing her talking on the bridge with Luke. He immediately gets suspicious, afraid that Leia is in love with Luke instead. He’s afraid of being shut out, uncertain of the status of their relationship, and he takes her refusal to talk about it personally. He lashes out in anger. Leia, as an Fi user, needs time to process her emotions internally about her conversation with Luke before she can talk about it. Han has trouble comprehending this, and is tempted to walk away. However, when he gives himself a moment to calm down, he is able to sense how distressed she is, stop feeling victimized, and let his Fe take over as he comforts Leia.

The Fe-Se Loop You might be wondering, what about all the times Han shows disregard for people’s feelings, acts like a cynical, sarcastic jerk, and prefers flying around the galaxy to doing anything for anyone’s idealistic cause?

Well, again, truth is, we don’t see him actually doing this all that often, despite what he might say, especially as his character growth progresses over the course of the story. We do see this somewhat in ANH, and I think it can be explained by the fact that he’s in a Fe-Se loop.

Han has had a rough life. In order to survive, he’s learned to look out only for himself (and Chewie, once he enters the picture). As he says in the Han Solo comic, “Special people… they end up sticking their necks out and doing things that make them dead.” He’s had to be cynical, because being otherwise is dangerous. He’s learned how to play the game, and he does it well. Ironically, his Fe is part of what makes him so good at it — he can easily conform to act like others, and can fit in perfectly with the crowd of smugglers he hangs around. (I have a theory that Lando, unlike Han, is a true ESTP, and Han unconsciously imitates him in a lot of ways.)

Because of all this, he’s pushed down parts of himself, suppressing his dreams of being a hero, of committing to something bigger than himself. His compassion often leaks out, but he manages to keep a rein on the parts of him that are deemed “unsafe” most of the time.

Consequently, he finds himself in the “loop”. An ENFJ in the Fe-Se loop becomes heavily influenced by their Se, chasing sensory thrills and excitement even more than usual. They are impulsive, rash and competitive. Inside they may feel confused and insecure, but they push that down in favor of looking outward, and can live somewhat superficially according to whatever public persona they take on. They are very concrete, and may lack nuance and understanding when it comes to other people’s perspectives.  They may excuse harmful behavior because they don’t want to think too deeply about it. A lot of the features of an inferior Ti grip may be present; they may be oversensitive and feel victimized, and lash out at the slightest provocation. In short, they might look just like Han at the beginning of ANH.

I think Han is so used to being in the loop that it takes some effort to get out of it. And even once he’s out, it can be tempting to go back in, especially during times of stress — it has, after all, been his safety net for so long.

This is why we see him struggling at times to commit. I think this may also explain some of his struggle in the Aftermath series with settling down after the war. He’s just not used to it, and all the changes, while good, are stressful. It will take time for him to adjust. And even then, he’s going to need an outlet for his Se (which he later finds in racing and his shipping company).

The loop is why he’s often typed as an ESTP or ISTP. When he’s in the loop, he looks more like one of these types (only with a more negative and unhealthy spin). Even when he’s not really in the loop, it’s part of the persona he tries to project. This is how much of pop culture tends to see him. But as soon as you look deeper, beyond the facade, a very different Han Solo comes to light.

I want to wrap up by taking a look at the (absolutely wonderful) Han Solo comic, because it illustrates everything I’ve been trying to say here. (Obviously, the following has some major spoilers.) During the whole comic, Han has a running monologue about who he is and what he wants out of life. “The way I look at life has always been simple,” he says. “You can run, or you can die. Dying ain’t an option. Which means I’ve gotten real good at fighting and running. Seems like that’s all I ever do.” Han has clearly learned to be a certain way in order to survive. Running and fighting don’t leave a lot of room for compassion and idealism. And yet: throughout the comic, we consistently see him doing selfless things, looking out for other people, and doing the right thing because he knows it’s the right thing, even though it costs him.

Later he says, “All I ever wanted was freedom. I ain’t noble. Definitely not a hero. I got one priority, and only one. Me.” That may be what he’s telling himself, but the panels those words are on tell a completely different story as he puts himself on the line, telling someone with a grudge against Chewbacca to shoot him instead.

We also see him standing up for other people who had previously mocked him and put him in danger, mediating conflicts, using his empathy and intuition to discover the identity of a killer, putting his mission and the lives of a few Rebel spies above his chance of glory, and ultimately, sacrificing winning a race because he realizes what’s at stake for another pilot and decides it’s the right thing to do. At times, he literally can’t help but be selfless. If this comic shows us anything, it is that Han Solo is not the person he says he is.

While just a few pages earlier he’d previously referred to the Falcon as “home,” when the race is over, and the announcers are debating about whether the three winners (Han included) should compete further to earn the glory and prizewinnings or be content to split it, Han simply smiles, and says, “We did it, Chewie. Let’s go home”— and by “home” he means back to the Rebellion. I think in the Rebellion, he sees not only the home with others he’s secretly longed for, but also the place where he really can be a hero, where he can help people, be with his friends, follow his heart and do more than just survive.

The way he ends his monologue is revealing: “You create walls. You manufacture rules. You live a small life, while lying to yourself that you’re as open and free as the stars. You tell yourself the reason is survival. Good reason, right? But sometimes survival is about telling yourself lies… until you can’t lie anymore. And then you have to make a choice about who you really are and what’s worth living for. Lies are easier, that’s for sure.”

Han Solo is beginning to find out that he can’t lie about who really he is anymore — not to others, and not to himself. Han may be a “Solo,” but he is selfless at his core. Han may be an adventurer, but more than that, he is also a compassionate idealist who would do anything for the people he loves. For this and all the other reasons I’ve argued, I conclude that Han is best typed as an ENFJ.

[gffa]

Unpop. opinion: Rey has no connection to the Jedi. Not getting into if I like/hate her character, but objectively she doesn't know anything about how to be one/doesn't fit into that archetype. In the first movie she starts out already knowing how to use most forcepowers and how to fight with a lightsaber. In the second, she doesn't build any kind of connection with Luke (not that thats her fault) or learns anything substantial about the lore of the force and what it means to her. And in the third movie, aside from that one training-course with Leia (which doesn't give us much either), she's just popping of new powers left, right and center without any explanation or spirituality behinde it. When she declared herself an Skywalker at the I seriously thought she would be better of fireing up that old moisture-farm, than founding any kind of new Jedi-Order.

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree I almost bolded agree with this as well, because I definitely see where you’re coming from and I realize my defense of this is going to bring up an entirely different set of problems that I also agree with--like, with TFA, it’s not that Rey already knew how to use the Force powers, but that she literally connected to Ben on Starkiller Base and basically tapped into his Force knowledge.  Then, in TROS, it’s been a year of intense training from Leia (and probably more connection to Ben’s understanding of the Force) and she’s been poring over those Jedi Texts we see her reading.  She’s gotten about as much training/connection as Luke did, even if a lot of it happened off-screen. Which solves one problem (how Rey knows how to do all of this, setting aside that she’s just fuck off powerful in the Force, quite possibly because the Force dumped a shitload of power into her because it needed her to be that strong), but creates another in, “this stuff should be shown on-screen instead of being addressed in books and comics and other supplementary material!”  And, as much as I’ve defended that Star Wars just is a multimedia project these days, I do think they leaned way too heavily on supplementary material to fix the plot holes in their story. The thing about Rey’s lack of connection to the Jedi is that it’s the same problem that Luke faced, that while Luke had Yoda (but not that much time with him), she has the Jedi Texts.  And, eventually, once TROS is done, Rey will now benefit from Luke’s years of piecing things together, whatever information he found, he can pass on to her, as well as she can speak to the other Jedi Force Ghosts who can help her build up her lore and knowledge. Rey hits on the main spirituality points of the Jedi, in that forever and always it’s been about how you have to face the fear and anger within, acknowledge it, and let it go, so she’s gotta deal with all that roiling terror inside her that literally causes her to tear Force lightning across the sky, she has to learn to trust in the connections around her, she has to learn to let go, because that’s what one of the main Star Wars messages is. I do think Rey’s story is clumsily handled in places and that’s possibly a lot of people are feeling about her character arc, but for me her connection to the Jedi is there in the background and I think she actually fits really, really well with who they were and understanding the foundations that she needed in the first couple of years.  Also, she’s just fuck off powerful and a lot of this stuff is going to come as easily to her as it did to Luke, while also she has to struggle through all her anger and frustration, just like he did.

[dokoni-mo]

Back Again, Together || Darth Vader x Reader (Chapter 3)

(A/N: I didn’t expect to get this out so quickly, but I started it this morning and it just wrote itself!! It also has become one of my fav pieces of writing that i’ve done :)) as always, tags open, asks open, and important links below. Enjoy!)

Masterlist Link (Link to first part of this story) : [x]

Chapter One: [x] 

Chapter Two: [x]

WARNINGS: cursing, a tiny amount of violence, some angst, a tiny mention of death, otherwise none!

Key: (F/N) = first name 

Word Count: ~4300 (i think)

~~~

The feeling that crept across your skin was both fiery hot and icy cold at the same time. 

You were absolutely speechless. All you could do was stare dumbly at Rey as you processed her words. 

Emperor Palpatine has returned. 

You finally made a move, dropping your gaze down to the hand that was intertwined with your love’s. The crown of your head started to ache as your mind started to spiral. It felt as if the rest of the galaxy around you was fading away into nothing, and your body weight was dissolving into nothing. 

You could hear your heartbeat in your ears. 

You could hear your breath become heavier and heavier. 

All other noises faded away into a dull white noise. 

How could it be possible? 

How could the universe be so cruel? 

After everything you had been through. 

After all those years of slavery, you-

Your thoughts were interrupted by a familiar, deep voice that came from nowhere but everywhere at once. 

“Darling.” 

Who was that? 

Everything was so confusing. 

You were lost. 

Your eyes were searching the fuzzy view of the floor below you for something, anything to make sense of it all. 

You felt a pang of surprise when that anything came not from your eyes, but from your hand. It came in the form of a tight, firm squeeze, and made your gaze snap over to it. 

The reminder of where you were came at you like a metric ton of bricks. 

Your soft, small hand was intertwined with a much larger and stronger one. 

His hand.

Your lips parted at this revelation. 

Him. 

How were you so cruel as to forget about him?

Your eyes shooting up, you were quickly met with the gaze of his mask, the sound of his steady breath slowly bringing you back to reality. Even though his real face was obscured, you could feel his concern. Concern for you. 

You felt so selfish. 

How could you? How could you be so selfish as to fade away by yourself just then and forget about him?

He was the one who suffered the most. 

He was the one who was a slave to that man for so many years. 

He was the one who lost everything. 

He was the one who killed him. 

How could he be back?

It couldn’t be possible...

You felt tears threaten to brim your eyes, but you resisted them. 

No. 

You couldn’t waste any time on yourself. 

You had to be strong. 

For him. 

He must be in far more disbelief and shock than you. You didn’t need him to display it for you to know You could feel it in your bones. He thought it was over. He thought he would never have to relive any of the nightmares he had. Never in a million years did you nor him think that Palpatine could still be alive. It had to be a lie. 

It just had to be. 

A filthy, rotten, lie. 

Gazing into the eyes of your love’s mask, you felt another wash come over you, one you hadn’t felt in so long, and wasn’t sure that you even had in you anymore. 

Pure, unbridled, anger. 

You turned your head to Rey without even commanding it to. She looked troubled, nervous even. 

This only added to the flames that were building inside of you. 

How dare she. 

How dare she come into your home and tell him these awful things. 

You felt your blood begin to boil as you spoke, your voice barely above a whisper. 

“Get out.” 

A flash of confusion went over Rey’s face. 

You clenched your jaw, your fingers beginning to twitch. 

“I’m… I’m sorry?” Rey said, her voice breathy. 

That was fucking it. 

Unwrapping your hand from Vader’s, you stood up so fast that your chair was knocked over, the sound of the wood hitting the floor making Rey jump. 

“I said GET OUT!” you almost screamed, pointing your arm strongly over to the door. 

Rey looked up at you with stiff shoulders, her eyes wide and her voice raised to better match your own. 

“P-Please! Just let me explain, i-” 

“I don’t  give a FUCK what you have to say!” You yelled, cutting her off. Your vision filling with red, you reached down to the table below you, picking up one of your tools. Your body going into autopilot, you lurched your arm backwards, getting ready to throw it at the brunette intruder. You didn’t care about the way she lifted her arms to shield herself. 

“Get the FUCK out-” you continued on. You were ready to throw the tool, but were quickly stopped before you could. You were quite frustrated at first, but it soon faded away as you recognized the touch.

Your love. 

Your gaze moving from Rey up to the figure next to you, your eyes confirmed your suspicions. Vader had stood up from his chair and held onto your arm, preventing you from throwing the tool at Rey. Feeling no metal against her arms, Rey lowered her limbs, looking up at you and your love with parted lips. 

Gazing into the mask of your lover, you felt your anger and frustration slowly start to dissipate. Your chest rose and fell in heavy breaths as Vee helped your arms to lower into a resting position, and continued to do so as he took the tool out of your hand and placed it back on the table. Your head was hung, but was slowly lifted up by the feeling of one of his large, gloved hands on your face. Lifting up your hand to rest on his, the two of you gazed at one another for a short moment before he spoke. 

“Let us hear what she has to say, dear.” he said. 

You felt a sense of calm wash over you at his words. Your cheeks dusting a light pink, you realized that you may have embarrassed yourself a little. 

But, you were quite grateful that he was there to bring you back to reality. 

You loved him so much… 

Nodding your head in agreement, Rey watched in silence and disbelief as Vader leaned down to pick up your chair for you, pushing you back to the table when you sat down. He soon followed suit and took your hand again, leaving Rey temporarily speechless. 

Was this the same Darth Vader that she had heard so many stories about?

He was so…

Gentle. 

Rey couldn’t believe it. 

Realizing she had to say something, Rey cleared her throat before speaking, her tone soothing and calm. 

“I, umm… I’m sorry. I should have broken the news more gently.” she said. 

Your lips tightened into a line at her words as you dropped your gaze briefly. It was you who should be sorry. 

“No, it’s okay.” you said, your voice much more quiet than before, “I’m the one who should apologize. I-I just…” 

You were grateful that Vee was able to finish your sentence for you as you trailed off. 

“We do not care for being reminded of that time.” 

Shooting a glance up at your love, you felt his thumb rub the back of your knuckles as you squeezed his hand. 

You had to stay strong for him. 

No more messing up. 

“I understand, it’s okay.” Rey said in response, a small, sympathetic smile painting her face. 

“Would you care to explain yourself now, Miss..?” Vee continued, tilting his armored head to the side. 

Rey’s smile faded as her eyes widened slightly. She realized she never introduced herself to Lord Vader.

“Rey, umm, sir.” she said, not knowing how else to address your love, “My name’s Rey.” 

The silence she got from Vader told her that she need to start explaining. Searching her mind for a moment, she decided on where to begin. 

From the beginning. 

Shifting in her chair, Rey leaned her elbows on the table as she begun. 

“After the fall of the Empire, there were still many people who were loyal to it and wanted it to still be in place. Eventually, these people came together and formed the First Order. They’re basically a repeat of the Empire… although this time more dead-set on galactic domination.” 

“I’m assuming the Resistance or whatever are the people trying to stop them?” you asked in the break of her words. 

“Yes, they are.” she said, “And we’ve been trying to for years now. We’ve had many victories, but we’re at sort of a stand-still right now. About a week ago, the entire Resistance was trapped, and we were looking death in the face. Kylo Ren… he was about to slaughter us all. But, Luke saved us. He saved us all. He sacrificed himself to save our lives…” 

Rey looked to Vader as she continued. 

“He trained me, made me who I am today… He was a good man, sir. You should be very proud.” 

Vader gave her a nod in response, and only you could feel how he squeezed your hand. 

“You mentioned someone,” you responded, “Kylo Ren… who is he?” 

“He’s the current Supreme Leader of the First Order…” Rey said before she trailed off, her gaze dropping as she searched for the right words. 

“Leia… Kylo Ren is her son.” 

Your lips parted in shock. You were…

Grandparents? 

You wanted to be angry again, but you couldn’t. You looked to Vee, and he met your gaze. 

You could tell he felt the same way as you. 

Happy. 

Grandparents…

You never thought you would see the day. 

“Looks like we’re older than we thought, Vee.” you breathed out, a smile enveloping your features as a rumble of approval escaped his chest. 

Rey licked her lips before continuing, “But that’s why I’m here. Luke, Leia, Me, Han Solo, all of us have tried to bring Kylo Ren home… but we’ve all failed. He’s far too blind for his own good.” 

“What makes you think we’re the ones to do it?” you asked, “And how does this relate to the Emperor?”

“We’ve recently gained intel from one of our spies that the Emperor has been pulling the strings this whole time. He’s  the one that has muddled with Kylo’s mind. Leia, she… she needs you. Both of you. She’s the one who sent me. You both know what it’s like to be controlled like that. You both know how to stop the Emperor… And she needs you.” 

Rey paused for a moment as she looked from you to your love over and over again. 

“The two of you are our only hope.” 

~~~

“There’s no way we can do this.” 

You felt bad for being so blunt, but knew it was the only way you were going to get the message across to Vee. 

You had dragged him into your shared bedroom for a moment of privacy as the two of you talked, leaving Rey by herself in the room next over. You were stood by the end of the bed, your arms folded across your chest as you looked up at your love. 

You knew you were firm on your position, and you knew he would be just as stubborn. 

“What do you mean?” He asked you, tilting his head to the side. 

“Did you hear what she said, Vee?” you responded, “Facing the Emperor again? You’re in no condition to do that type of fighting again, and if you’re not going then I’m sure as hell not.” 

“I am more than prepared for the task at hand.” he said flatly, his gaze locked on you. 

You sighed, “No, you’re not, Vee. I still haven’t completed all the upgrades to your suit, and you’re still injured from your first encounter. We can’t-” 

“I am in a good enough state to press on, darling. I have done this before without your upgrades. I am confident we can do this together.” 

“Anakin, do you really want to go back there?” you asked softly, the usage of his real name signaling that you meant business, “To all of that.” 

“Yes, I am sure.” 

“How? Ani, we both suffered because of that man, you so more than me. We have a good life here. Our fight is over. We did so much… we can choose to rest. We can choose to just live out the rest of our days. Don’t you want that? With me?” 

Vader reached down and took your hands in his as he spoke. 

You felt like crying.

“More than anything, darling.” 

“Then let’s stay.” You pleaded with him, “Forget the First Organization or whatever, forget the Rebellion. We’ve done all we could.” 

“(F/N),” he said, “I can not ignore a cry for help from Leia. She needs me. We told her long ago that we will be here if she does. We can not back out now.” 

“Vee…” 

“(F/N), this may be the only chance I get to be there for her. I do not want the last memory she has of me to be… to be Alderaan.” 

You bit your lip and glanced down. 

He was right, but…

“Ani, it’s so dangerous to go off of this planet. We’ve been hidden for years and he might sense our movement. What if we just cause more trouble? I don’t want Leia or anyone to die because of us.” 

“More people will die if we do nothing, darling…” 

Ani moved his hands from around your own up to your face, cradling it in his gloved palms as he continued. 

“This is our only chance to be the parents we never were for them. You are just as much as their mother as I am their father, even if you did not birth them. Leia needs us there. And by doing this… We will carry out Luke’s dream. We could bring real peace to the galaxy. I wish for Leia to live in such a place. I wish for our grandson to do the same…” 

His thumb caressed your cheek. 

“And I wish for the same for you.”  

You could feel the tears well up in your eyes as you searched the face of his mask, lifting up your hands to rest atop his own. 

Your voice came out strained from the lump forming in your throat. 

“I-I just…” you choked out, your voice barely above a whisper. 

“I just wanted you to be able to rest…” 

You couldn’t stop the flow of tears as he responded. 

“I will not be able to unless he is destroyed, darling. And I know you shall be the same.” 

Throwing yourself into his arms, you did your best to hide your cries in his armored shoulder as you hugged him tight, your small arms unable to wrap fully around his large frame. His arms, however, were able to wrap around yours with ease, his large hand rubbing small, comforting circles into your back. 

You loved him. 

You loved him so very much. 

You loved him more than the air you breathed. 

You loved him more than life itself. 

So, if this is what he truly wanted…

You would follow him. 

Without question. 

Pulling away from him once your tears had dissipated, you reached up your hands as you stood on your tip-toes, pulling his head down to touch your forehead to his armored one. His hands placed on your sides, you placed your own on the expanse of his broad shoulders, holding him there for a moment of silence, your breathing slowing to match is own. 

“How are you so sure we can beat him?” you whispered. 

You felt his thumbs rub circles on your hip bones. 

“When I am with you, my dear, I can do anything.” 

~~~

Rey shot her gaze up to the pair of you as soon as she heard the bedroom door click open, her eyes wide and hopeful. Her gaze followed the pair of you step closer to her, making her rise out of her seat. She could feel the anticipation bubble in her diaphragm. 

Your hand firmly intertwined with your love’s, you took a deep breath before you spoke. 

“We’ll do it.” 

Rey couldn’t hold back the smile she breathed out. 

Leia was right. 

They would join. 

“I have something for you then.” she said, dropping her gaze to the bag around her shoulder. 

After a brief moment of digging through it’s contents, she brought out something that looked oddly familiar to you. 

It was a cylinder of metal, with a hole in the top and many black rectangles around it’s base. 

It looked an awful lot like Vee’s saber, yet different…

You heard your love’s respirator hitch as Rey held out the metal to him. 

“I believe this belongs to you, sir.” she said. 

After a brief pause of no movement whatsoever, you watched as your love took the metal out of Rey’s hand. He turned the thing over in his hand many times, inspecting every curve and edge to the object. Your curiosity taking over, you dropped your gaze upon the thing, watching at how carefully Vee held it in his gloved hands. 

“What is it, Vee?” you asked. 

Getting no response from him, you watched as he held onto the object, igniting it in his grasp. A long streak of deep blue came out of the metal, as well as a familiar humm. 

It was beautiful. 

“It is my lightsaber, darling.” Ani eventually responded, his mask trained on the light. 

Blue, huh? 

You smiled up at him. 

He had told you long ago of his time as a jedi…

You were glad he was finally reunited with a little piece of his past. 

“Does this mean I can have your old one?” you asked half-jokingly. 

“Yes, dear.” 

~~~

He slept in the bed with you that night instead of in his meditation pod. You wanted him to sleep in there, since it was more comfortable for him. 

He wouldn't have any of it. He insisted on being next to you that night. 

It was the first night in a long, long time that both you and him got a full night’s rest. It was quite soothing to feel his weight next to you and feel his arms around you, and you were sure it was comforting to him as well. 

In the morning, you woke up before him just as normal. You thought about waking him up, but decided to let him rest instead. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you padded your feet over to the kitchen. 

You decided to cook him his favorite for breakfast. 

You knew it would be the last one for quite a while. 

Waking him up and helping him into his meditation pod, you smiled as you placed the plate of food next to him, pressing a kiss to the crown of his helmet before closing the pod behind you. 

You figured that now was the perfect time to start packing. 

In the middle of preparing your bags, you heard his meditation pod open and close, as well as the sound of his footsteps drawing closer to you. A moment later, you felt his large arms wrap around your frame, pulling you close to his chest as you breathed out a smile. Closing your eyes, you slid your arms over his own, rubbing circles lovingly into his leather-bound forearms. 

“I have to pack for us, Vee.” you said, your tone loving. 

“I know.” 

“You’re not gonna let me go for a while, aren’t you?” 

“No, I am not.” 

You let out a giggle. 

“I love you, Vee.” 

“I love you too, (F/N). More than anything.” 

~~~

It took a long while for you to take your eyes off of your home. 

Your bags slung over your shoulder, your eyes were fixated on the front door of the house you had built, a few strands of your hair fluttering in the breeze. 

You didn’t want to say goodbye. 

You really didn’t.

“Darling.” 

His voice made you finally take your eyes off of that place. Your gaze now on him, your lips parted as you took the sight of him in. 

He was so handsome. 

So large. 

You loved him so, so much. 

He held his hand out to you. 

“It is time to go.”

Blinking at his outstretched hand, you swiveled your head back to your home, feeling your heart ache faintly in your chest.

“I know,” you said, “It’s just… I don’t want this to be goodbye.” 

Continuing to gaze at your house, you felt your love walk up to you, wrapping his big, strong arm around your shoulder. After looking at your face briefly, he joined you in looking at the home the two of you had built together. 

It was beautiful. 

Absolutely breathtaking. 

“It will not be.” was all he said. 

~~~

Rey’s ship was just as shitty as you remembered it being. 

It was complete garbage. 

But you were surprised that Vee recognized it. 

The Millennium Falcon, he said it was. 

He also said how ironic it was he was about to board one of the main ships he tried to destroy all those years ago. 

You told him everything was gonna be a blast from the past for the foreseeable future. 

You were really scared to fly in that bucket of bolts. The only thing that made it worth getting on was Rey’s driod.

“That’s BB-8.” Rey said as she helped you load your bags in the ship, “He’s been really excited to meet you.” 

Pausing from your work, you smiled and knealed down near the circular droid, placing a hand upon his front. 

“Hey there, BB-8.” you giggled, making him beep excitedly. 

You laughed as you stood up, packing in the last bag. 

“He’s quite the cutie.” you said. 

This made the droid beep out seemingly bashful beeps. 

Rey chuckled, “He says you’re not so bad yourself.” 

You laughed again as you looked down at the tiny white and orange droid. 

“Sorry, BB-8. I’m taken.” 

BB-8 beeped questionably, but soon found his answer as he saw Darth Vader step on board. Watching as you took the dark lord’s hand into your own, BB-8 beeped in surprise and rolled away, making you giggle again. 

“Was that droid pestering you, darling?” your love asked. 

“No, Vee.” you responded, “It’s fine. 

Rey came around the hallway before either of you could say anything else. 

“We’re about to take off. Get ready.” 

Giving her a nod, you watched as she left to the cockpit of the ship, feeling your love’s hand squeeze your own. 

Looking up into his mask, a small smile painted your lips. 

“Are you ready, love?” you asked.

The ramp to the ship closed in front of the two of you. 

“No.” 

You let out another giggle as you felt the ship take off.

“Good. I’m not either.” 

~~~

TAGS: @spaghetti-666 , @soullesstaco , @arsonistvoyager , @robin-obsessed , @glitter-rian , @captainrexstan , @easterncryptid , @deviatedwinter , @roseangel013bf , @danicalifxrnia , @dartheldur , @finest-trashbag , @yeah-boiiiiiiiiiii , @elongatedmusk-rat , @shads121 , @muffinbeliever , @sakuramadae , @padme-parker , @khapikat222 , @the-official-memester , @rens-angel , @obiwankenobiness , @yvette1703 , @missmannequin​ , @breakfastpizzagalaxy​ , @scarletsinsandsnowwithetragedies​ , @clearnostolgia , @ahs0ka-skywalker 

[dear-daydreamer]

Ben’s Ascent (Ben’s POV)

“As I fell, so falls the last Skywalker” is the last thing Ben hears before he’s launched through the air and darkness consumes him.

He wakes up with his body in so much pain, a mix of his own and Rey’s agony shudders through his body. He tries to lift himself and quickly learns of his broken leg when he almost passes  out again. 

No, you have to, you have to pull through Ben, for her he affirms in his mind as the feeling of Rey’s suffering on the other end of the bond bore into his mind, strengthening his resolve.

He won’t just let her fight Palpatine alone, because just as he reassured her in the small damp hut on Ahch-To, she wasn’t alone. He feels the force move in crashing waves around him. The dark side of the force manifesting in lightning that lit up the entire cavern in a sickly pale light.

Ben grit his teeth as he begun his ascent out of the pit. He felt the rock begin to cut into his fingers as he dug them hard into the jagged stone in the effort to support his body weight. He moved at the fastest pace he could manage, using his good leg to support as he reached for higher holds. 

He doesn’t know how he got to the middle of his climb when he finally acknowledges how high he is. High enough that with already so much damage done to his body, if he falls, he will certainly die. 

Just as this thought passed through his mind, the rock where his leg was supporting his weight gave way. He desperately grasped for more holds and  shifted his body onto his broken leg.

The pain was so dizzying that he almost let go. He was sure that he had felt worse pain, after all he was Snoke’s apprentice for so many years. One of the first lessons he learned was to use pain to encourage the dark side within him. How Snoke’s lightning use to stab at his skin, making every single pain receptor scream, sometimes even causing blood to leak from his ears and nose. 

As he started to be consumed by his damaging memories he suddenly felt a calming light begin to shine through the dark. Her light, Rey’s light, entered his body as he felt her stir on the other side of the bond. 

Tears pricked at his eyes as he held on to a secure hold with just one hand that was beginning to tremble.

“I’m so sorry that I let you down again. I’m sorry that I’m not strong enough. I love you.” He willed his message through the bond, hoping that she heard him as his hand began to slip.

Just when his fingers were going to give up whispers started to surround him with a caressing force. 

“Ben” 

“Ben”

“Ben, rise”             

“Rise Ben, be redeemed as I have”

“Redeemed for love”                     

“Find strength in the Light, you will”

“We stand behind you Ben”

“We are always with you”

“Be strong against the Dark, as generations of Jedi have before you”

“The force surrounds you Ben, flows through you”

“Be reborn in the Light, Ben”

“RISE”

“Ben, the force will be with you always”

He felt the strength of a thousand generations flow through him, willing his body to reach and grab at the cliff side with renewed strength. He moved his body toward the opening as he felt Rey’s power become his own. The blood on his fingers mixing with dirt as he took each hold. 

Suddenly as he started to get near the top, the force rebounded so strongly he felt his body still against the incline. With a flash of light, he felt the ground rumble as the cavern started to crumble and cave in on itself. He felt the snap of Palpatine’s death ring in the force as the light sang triumphantly. For a moment he felt truly free. For the first time in his entire existence Palpatine wasn’t there. Whispering promises and lies, the nightmares, killing him from the inside out, taking everything he ever loved with him. He was free.

He then also felt Rey’s light shine so brightly it almost burned and then as quick as the light came, it went out.

The breath left him as he hugged his body close to the ragged incline. 

No, no no no no no no, this isn’t right

No this isn’t how it was supposed to go.

Please for everything I am, this can’t be right.

Please god anyone but her.

Thoughts ran ragged through his mind as he felt for her in their bond and his heart stopped when it felt numb.

He couldn’t breathe. It felt like his lungs collapsed in his chest. The open wound of their bond where there once was love and understanding, made him shake with pain and loss. He felt like he was missing a limb, feeling for something that should be there but isn’t. 

A part of him wanted to let go. Let go of the cliff he had been battling against with his broken body. A dark part of him that acknowledged that she was the only thing left for him. His only person left, the only thing that mattered anymore. It would be easier, better if he just let go. 

No

Suddenly his mind filled with memories of her. Her eyes, her smile, her determination, her stubbornness. The warmth that coursed through his body when she took his hand and was the first to tell him that he wasn’t alone. They way she said his name with such hope. The visions that he had of them, of their future together. All of that gone.

“No.”

He repeated the word inside his head like a mantra till it echoed around his mind pushing the devastation out of its way. Allowing him to push through the last couple of feet to the top, no longer caring about the pain. He finally grabbed at the entrance of the pit, hoisting himself up with one final push of energy. He didn’t feel the relief when his body hit the level ground because his eyes were raking the ground for her.

Then he found her. She looked so small among the debris. He was limping his way toward her crumpled white form and nothing could of stopped him. As Ben made his way toward her, he stumbled and almost collapsed but continued to push through the immense waves of pain and exhaustion crashing on every cell in his body as he lifted himself back up.

When he reached her, he fell to his knees, his legs no longer able to support his weight after seeing her body up close. He dragged himself toward her after what seemed like an eternity of fighting his battered body, he finally reached for her and grabbed at her arm, at anything.

He then pulled her onto his lap trying to be as close to her as possible almost as if he was trying to make up for breaking their promise. Make up for the fact that he promised that she wasn’t alone but in the end she was. 

He supported her limp head in his hand and it felt like his heart stopped beating when his eyes met her glassy lifeless ones, so unlike the ones that looked at him with such hope and adoration when she realized he came to help her fight the emperor. He looked away, trying to swallow the sob that wanted to tear through his body.

He hugged her body to his as if to feel if there was any life left, anything left of the fiery scavenger girl he had be running after for what seemed like his entire life. At that moment, he knew what he had to do, he knew he had the strength to do it.

He pulled away, closed his eyes, and put his palm to her abdomen, breathing long and slow, as if trying to take in more life with each breath. He focused everything into his hand, all he ever was, all he ever will be into his palm transferring into the woman he loved. The warmth, light, and freedom he had only really had for less than a day poured into her and he didn’t care all he needed was for her to exist. 

His wish came true when he felt the last drop of life leave him and he felt a hand touch his. His eyes opened to find hers staring back at him.

For a while, they just stared at each other. Rey looked at him with such pure happiness and wonder. Ben looked upon her like she was a place of worship, his gaze bled with tired adoration. The feeling of love made their bond sing in such a way it was almost dizzying. 

“Ben” 

She said as her face split into one of the happiest smiles the galaxy has ever seen. 

He gave her a small vulnerable smile in return, the happiness bright in his eyes. He almost looked like he was in disbelief, that nothing this good could ever happen to him but here he was, sitting with her and she was alive. 

She softly caressed his face in her hands like she wanted to memorize every mole, crease and ridge on his face. Burning happy passion blazed in her eyes as she looked at him at pulled his lips against hers. 

Ben pulled her against him, and kissed her back like his life depended on it. Like she is everything and its just the two of them in the whole galaxy. Just Rey and Ben.

They pull away with love sick grins across both of their faces. It was the first time Rey had seen Ben truly smile and it took her breath away. In that moment, she vowed to dedicate her life to making Ben Solo smile like that as much as possible. She ran her thumb against the edge of his smile as if she wanted to keep the image not just with sight but with her touch and all her other senses.

Their happy moment was cut short when Ben developed a far away look in his eyes and Rey felt his arms around her start to go slack. He crumpled back with Rey’s hand still curled around his neck.

That’s when Rey felt the bond go cold.

“Ben”

“Ben!” her voice cracking as she called his name.

She doesn’t remember what she did next, only that a few moments later tears streamed down her face as she gripped onto his shirt, unwilling to let go. 

“No, no, no it wasn’t supposed to go this way”

“I saw our future and it was’t supposed to go this way” she cried

“We lived near a lake that looked beautiful during sunsets and in a house that was bright and so full of love. We had a daughter and she was the perfect mix of the both of us and we raised her avoiding the mistakes our ancestors made. We trained children on how to control the force and not feel scared of it as we did. It was beautiful Ben. We were so happy Ben, so happy” she said as she clutched on to his limp hand. 

“That does sound beautiful” 

Rey whipped around at the sound and found the force ghost of Leia Organa caressing her hair and looking at her and the lifeless body of her son with a sad smile. 

“Leia?” 

“My lovely Rey, I’m so sorry the universe wasn’t kind to you and Ben. It’s never been kind to the Skywalkers.”

“After all this time, tragedy has never failed to strike my family and I’m tired of it. As you know I’ve never been afraid to break the rules” she says with a mischievous smile.

Leia kneels down to put her hand over her son’s heart and with a peaceful smile on her face she softly said “Take care of each other”

Rey can barely make out the shapes of other the figures that crowd around Ben’s body before a burst of bright light is emitted across what was left of the cavern. 

At that same moment, on a jungle planet far away, Maz Kanata smiled as she watched Leia’s body disappear. Knowing that she finally was able to become one with the force after assuring that her son was alive and well. That their family wouldn’t end in tragedy.

Back on Exogol, before Rey could tug on her and Ben’s shared bond, a hand grabbed hers. Ben sat up weak, but alive and that is all that matters. 

“Rey” he says as his look of disbelief morphed into Rey’s favorite smile.

“Ben” She exclaimed as she threw herself into his arms and they both fell back laughing, knowing that they had the rest of the galaxy and their future to explore.

[megashadowdragon]

on lukes moment of weakness and how it is fitting for luke  among other comments

Personally I TOTALLY believe that George's Luke would have been VERY similarly to Rian's Luke.

And here is the reason why.... Luke has almost always been George's insert (lucas pronunced luke S )  and it makes total sense for Luke to be "exiled" and secluded away just as George became with Star Wars after the backlash of the prequels. But at the end of it, he comes back and stands up for what makes Star Wars what it is. Which is what Luke does for the Jedi and themes of Star Wars by the end of TLJ. He has learned from his mistakes, atoned for them, found redemption, confronted those he has failed, inspired hope, and learned to show compassion once again.

Now while George may have done it differently, I do believe that Luke being in exile was a metaphor for George's own relationship with Star Wars and its fandom.

www . reddit . com/r/StarWars/comments/ebb4f3/lukes_momentaneous_thought_of_killing_ben_solo/

I know I'm stepping on dangerous territory here by talking about The Last Jedi, and I only do this because I think this is an interesting take on a key moment of the movie. Just bear in mind that I do not intend to make my point-of-view the absolute truth of it. After all, this is just my opinion.

We all know very well how divisive Episode VIII was, with many people pationately hating that movie. One of the main reasons of complaint is the fact Luke Skywalker had attempted to kill his apprentice and nephew, Ben Solo, because he sensed the Dark Side to be too strong in the latter. Luke Skywalker, the only person in the entire galaxy that saw there was still light in Darth Vader, tried to kill his relative. When even Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda had lost all hope Anakin could be saved, Luke helped putting him on the path of redemption, helping Vader turn back to the Light and fulfill the prophecy of the Chosen One. It seems to be an insult that this same character gave up on his nephew so easily and tried to kill him.

I believe things must be analyzed more carefully.

I've just finished marathoning the Skywalker Saga (by the way, I STRONGLY recommend the Ersnt Rister order: IV-V-I-II-III-VI) and noticed something very interesting while watching Return Of The Jedi.

During the final moments of Luke and Vader's duel aboard the Death Star II, we see the young Jedi Knight wants to avoid fighting his father so as not to fall in the trecharous web of Palpatine, who wants to turn the young Skywalker to the Dark Side. Luke is hiding beneath the Emperor's throne. Vader chases him and, through the Force, reads Luke's thoughts to lure him into confrontation:

You cannot hide forever, Luke. Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for... sister! So, you have a twin sister!

In this moment, we see Luke's face and he's completely terrified by the idea Darth Vader found out about his sister. It is something new and Luke fears for Leia's well-being. Also, we hear from Vader's words that he cares a lot about his friends, the people he loves. Vader continues:

Your feelings have now betrayed her too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Dark Side, THEN PERHAPS SHE WILL!

Now we have something different. Since he was brought before the Emperor, Luke had been constatly confronted by Palpatine and Vader with the idea of him turning to the Dark Side. When Vader talks about the possibility of that happening to Leia, it's not a threat directed to him, but to someone he loves. In this moment, Luke loses it completly and attacks Vader viciously, totally enraged. The Sith Lord can't stand the power of his son, fuelled by hate and falls to the ground, defeated. In this moment Luke is prepared to make the final blow, but then he hears Palpatine laughing and clapping. This makes him go back to his senses and realize what he's been doing. He then turns off his lightsaber and refuses to kill his father.

"I'm a Jedi, like my father before me" and so on... we know what happens, so let's fast-forward to The Last Jedi.

When Luke is confronted by Rey, who demands him to tell what had happened between him and Kylo Ren, we learn how things unfolded through Luke's perspective:

I saw darkness. I sensed it building in him. I'd seen it in moments during his training. But then I looked inside, and it was beyond what I ever imagined.

In this moment of the flashback we see Luke's hand reaching out to his lightsaber, almost unconsciously. He then proceeds:

. He would bring destruction and pain and death, AND THE END OF EVERYTHING I LOVE BECAUSE OF WHAT HE WILL BECOME, AND FOR THE BRIEFEST MOMENT OF PURE INSTINCT, I THOUGHT I COULD STOP IT.

Here it is again. Like in Episode VI, we see Luke reacting in a similar way by the notion of something posing a threat not to him, but to the people he loves and cares about. Luke feared Ben would destroy everything he cherished, just like Vader had threatened by turning Leia to the dark. And, just like in the OT, it was a passing shadow:

It passed like a fleeting shadow, and I was left with shame and with consequence. And the last thing I saw were the eyes of a frightened boy whose Master had failed him.

I've already written way more than I expected, so I'll just conclude here. I've realized the act Luke commits in the Sequels is the same (or at least VERY similar) as from the OT: he attempted to kill Vader then his nephew, out of fear of seeing what/who he loved destroyed. He repented and managed to stop himself in the act in both situations. And he was ashamed. So, at least regarding this point of the movie, I see the same Luke Skywalker.

(luke had more to lose now then he did before 

another example which I saw dont remember where I saw it  but I saved the comments unfortunately I didnt put in the links:

edit: (now I remember www . reddit . com/r/StarWars/comments/9a3hdl/)

Luke considered killing Ben for about two seconds in a vulnerable moment

Sort of like he almost got baited into killing Vader by a few mocking words, and cut the hand off his own father in blind rage.

Luke is still just a person. If we've learned anything in Star Wars it's that the Jedi are not superhuman paragons of virtue and perfection, no matter how they might appear to the unwashed masses in the SW universe. They have the same flaws, temptations, failures, etc as anyone else. Yes the Force can help them overcome some of this, but they're far from perfect. Luke could have, and I agree should have grown in a positive way, but it's not impossible or even unbelievable that he didn't. He just had his life's labor wiped out in front of him and blamed himself for it. All those years of finding lost Jedi knowledge and artifacts, being what he believed to be the last Jedi in the universe with the responsibility to restart the order on his shoulders alone. All those lives that he took under his protection and guidance as the Master of the new order, wiped out in one night. Because of him (at least in his mind). Everything he was working towards for years just totally undone in a few hours and it was all his fault.

So he leaves and says fuck the whole lot of it. He lives by himself, stews in his misery and regret, retreats into himself and rejects the most foundational principle of the whole concept of being a Jedi: to help people. He's the most powerful Force user alive and he's wasting away by himself on some desolate rock, swearing off the rest of the galaxy because he thinks that he's a failure, that he wasn't strong or good enough, that he can't win, that it's not even worth it to try anymore, and that even at the height of his wisdom and power, it was all undone, and by himself no less.

another comment

Stuff has changed, I mean he’s quicker to come to his senses. I wouldn’t call that his flaw though. His flaw is one of his greatest traits, his care for his friends and family. It’s a flaw cause it causes implusive actions, lashing out on Vader, leaving Yoda, a single thought that he could stop a horrible fate in Ben.

I personal struggle with a temptation in my life, a temptation to do something my faith says is wrong to do. I may have overcome it some days, but other days, whether the same circumstances or not, I might fall into it. Temptations are a constant battle, not a one and done thing. Flaws are similar, you don’t just grow past a flaw after one instance.

Because a day may come when you will brought face-to-face with that temptation or flaw again, but the circumstances will be different, and it won’t be so easy to overcome.

You mentioned Toy Story in a post, and that’s a decent example when it comes to one facet. Woody might not get jealous when another flashy toy comes along that gets more attention like Buzz did.

A better example of the nagging of a temptation, like Luke dealt with, is in Lord of the Rings. The Ring is a constant temptation to the bearer and those around them. At least by the film, Frodo may have resisted the urge to use it under the tree, but he still was tempted to use it at other times, and it was a constant battle. Same with Bilbo. Bilbo held the ring for 60 years. And the temptation of it held him greatly. He drops the Ring in Bag End, letting it go. If he was viewed similarly to how people viewed Luke tossing the saber, that’d mean he freed himself from it’s grasp and from the temptation to take and use it. We see in Rivendell that isn’t the case for him. He has a moment of wanting to take it back, and even at the end of his time in Middle Earth, he inquires about it, although more innocently curious.

That would be more similar to Luke’s case. To fall to the dark is a constant temptation that Jedi should always be aware of, and if you get close at one point, there’s the possibility that it’ll happen again, and if you aren’t prepared or it comes in a different form, you’ll either fall or get really close.

That turned out longer than I meant it, but I see this idea and..it’s just not the case.

another comment 

Just because you get older doesn't mean you necessarily get wiser and better.

Jedi are still people (and some aliens, but you get the meaning), and the prequels (and even the OT) showed that even the oldest and wisest among the Jedi were capable of mistakes and misjudgments.

I think it's unreasonable to assume Luke should have become incapable of making, or even repeating mistakes and succumbing to emotion.

Right because people only get better as they get older and we grow past our flaws and doubts permanently right?

You guys are weird.

Luke overcame that moment of doubt before he almost struck Vader down and you think what ....... Luke got some kind of videogame like powerup where that character flaw would never come back again?

Some of you have a very black and white (boring) opinion on life and human growth.

Spoiler: People have flaws, we don't all overcome those flaws.Your boy Luke is no exception.

Consider what nearly proved to be his downfall in Return of the Jedi: for all the Emperor's taunting about the Rebel Alliance's imminent demise, it was Darth Vader who finally pushed his Berserk Button by discovering that Leia was his twin sister and suggesting that if Luke didn't change sides, he and his master might have better luck turning her. Then, when Luke went berserk, it totally worked: he curb-stomped Darth Vader and still didn't go evil in the end. His father's killing off the Emperor also put an end to a whole lot of the Empire's evil and birthed the New Republic.

Flash forward thirty years, and once again someone is threatening everyone and everything Luke loves, and killing the guy would surely preempt a whole lot of trouble. In his heart of hearts, he doubtless remembers what Yoda taught him about how easy and seductive the Dark Side is, but he also remembers how Yoda's mistake of hiding the truth about his lineage from him nearly brought his downfall. He also remembers how killing the Emperor solved so many problems the way he'd better not try to solve them this time... Well, what's so tempting about that?

Luke had more to lose at this time. He knew what a relatively free, peaceful Galaxy looked like, and had other students to care for besides Ben. Instinctively, he was acting out of concern for them. Luke makes an important point when he gives Rey the truth: it is a split second. Luke is a hero, but he's human. He was impulsive and acted on instinct in his youth, so the fear of Ben turning is enough to push him to the edge for a second.

hopeforben . tumblr . com/post/623000635980333056/theres-a-significant-portion-of-the-fandom-that/embed

@emeraldspiral​ 

@daughter-of-water​

@someoneintheshadow456​

[jadejedi]

Love Does Not Fail (1/?)

Summary: When Anakin saves the galaxy from Palpatine, Padmé and his children survive, but their family is split apart nonetheless. Leia is taken to be raised in the Temple, not knowing that the Jedi who "found" her is actually her father. Luke grows up with Padmé, knowing only his mother's side of the family. But some things are inevitable.

ao3 link here

A/N: Another RotS fix-it fic slash what if Anakin and Padmé each raise a twin fic. Basically, things happen a little differently post Crisis at the Heart. This chapter is basically a prologue, so we are going to move with LIGHTNING SPEED through RotS. The focus of this story is what comes after RotS, rather than a scene-by-scene rewrite of the movie. Also, I am a little hesitant to put this out before s7 of The Clone Wars airs, but eh whatever. If it fits in, great, if not, oh well. 

Padmé was silent on the jump back to Coruscant. 

Anakin wasn’t sure if it was grief for the loss of Clovis, or if it was lingering anger over his actions throughout this whole ordeal. He had been right about Clovis being a traitorous piece of Separatist scum, but he had a feeling that that wasn’t much comfort to Padmé right now. 

For the first couple of hours of the trip back, he had been content to pretend to meditate while he let her sit silently in his bunk on The Resolute, wordlessly scrolling through her datapad, but he wasn’t sure how much longer he could go on like this. 

“Padmé,” he began hesitantly, moving to crouch next to the bunk. “I am sorry about what happened to Clovis. I am sorry for my part in all of this.” 

She looked up from her data pad, a tired look in her eyes. “Anakin, what has happened to us?” She set the data pad down and looked at her hands. “Our relationship isn’t what it once was.”

Anakin felt his heart ache. “Do you still want us to… take a break?” he asked, recalling her words on Coruscant. 

She shook her head helplessly. “Anakin, I love you. I don’t want to be apart from you. But I also want things that can’t be. I want our relationship to be better than it is now.”

Anakin reached out to grasp her hands. “It can be better. I can be better!” He couldn’t lose her. This whole mess had started because he hadn’t wanted to lose her, and now he might anyways.

Padmé smiled sadly at him. “It might not be up to us. This relationship will always be a secret. How can either of us be expected to operate normally, or in any way that could be considered healthy, in such conditions?”

Anakin let out a frustrated huff. “So what? You’re just going to throw this away? Pretend it never happened?”

“No! That’s not what I want.” She sighed. “Anakin, I worry about how healthy his relationship is for you. You feel things so strongly, including your feelings for me. And I love that about you. But you have no outlet for those feelings, except for me. And when you and I are at odds, you have no one to turn to. You end up just bottling up those emotions until they explode out of you like they did at home.”

Anakin looked down at their joined hands. “I could tell Obi-Wan,” he offered. 

“What?” Padmé said in surprise. 

“I…think he may have an idea that something is going on between us,” he admitted, looking up at her. “And I think he would understand, at least a little.” He paused and looked back down. “I haven’t told him before because,” he sighed. “Because I don’t want him to see me as a failure. As a bad Jedi.”

Padmé withdrew one of her hands from his so she could cup his cheek. “Oh, Anakin. Obi-Wan loves you. I know the Jedi aren’t supposed to feel such things, and I know you think that Obi-Wan is above all that, but he isn’t. It is the nature of sentient beings to love. There is no stopping it.”

“You think so?”

Padmé nodded. “I know the Jedi say that attachment is dangerous, but I think that they don’t realize how much strength that love, healthy love, can give a person. I think attachment only becomes dangerous when it becomes an obsession.” She gently tilted his head so he was looking her in the eye. “Anakin, I don’t want our love to become an obsession.”

Anakin leaned into the hand that was touching his cheek. “I don’t want that either. I think you’re right. I need to be able to talk to someone about all of this.” 

She smiled encouragingly at him. “I’m glad, Ani.”

Hearing her use his nickname soothed some of the worry he felt that had been eating away at his gut. They would be okay, he could feel it. 

There was always the possibility that Obi-Wan would rat on him to the Council, but he didn’t think so. And even if he did, his future with Padmé was worth more to him than his future with the Jedi. 

--

“Anakin,” scolded Obi-Wan, “I can feel your anxiety from here,” he said, meditating in one of the Temple’s small meditation rooms.

 Anakin was seated next to him, ostensibly meditating himself. In reality, though, he was too keyed up to meditate. He and Padmé had gotten back from Scipio almost a week ago, and he still hadn’t confessed. His anxiety over the subject was a nexu chewing at his insides. 

When Anakin didn’t reply, Obi-Wan sighed and looked over at him. “What’s going on, Anakin? You know you can talk to me.”

Did he know that? 

Yes, he supposed he did.

“Master,” Anakin began, “I have something to confess to you.”

Obi-Wan looked at him in concern but said nothing, and let him speak.

Anakin paused, then sighed. “I am telling you this because I have no one else to talk to, and it is causing me a great deal of stress.” He paused again. “Please don’t tell the Council.” 

He paused again, before blurting, “I’m married to Padmé!”

Obi-Wan’s eyes widened in surprise, only for a moment, before his expression settled onto one of understanding.

Anakin shot him a hesitant smile. “You knew, didn’t you?

Obi-Wan leaned back where he sat, palms behind him on the ground for support. “I knew you were in a relationship with the Senator, of course. At first, I think I just thought that you wanted to be. But I eventually realized, yes.” He grinned wryly. “I wouldn’t have guessed that you were actually married, though.” 

“You aren’t going to tell the Council?” Anakin asked, just to be sure.

“I am on the Council, Anakin. I don’t see why the whole Council needs to know,” he said with a sly grin. His expression turned serious. “And it’s not like I can’t empathize. I know that you know about some of my history with Satine, but I never really told you all of it.”

“All of it?”

Obi-Wan’s eyes looked sad in a way that had become frighteningly common for him these days. “I loved her. By the end of my time guarding her we were… involved. If she had asked me to leave the Order, I would have,” he admitted.

Anakin felt his own eyes widen. “You? Leave the Order?”

He nodded. “Like I said, we were in love. She didn’t want me to leave for her, though.”

“I’m sorry,” Anakin said. “I didn’t realize how much she meant to you.”

Obi-Wan shook his head. “We aren’t talking about me right now. Why are you telling me this now? Is something wrong?”

Ankin sighed and told him about what had happened between him and Padmé and Clovis. 

When he got through the whole story, Obi-Wan grimaced. “You really do have a way of finding trouble in every situation, don’t you?”

“Is that all you have to say?!” Anakin exclaimed, a bit of frustration slipping through. 

Obi-Wan chuckled. “No, of course not. I’m sorry. You have managed to get into a difficult situation, though.”

Anakin looked down at his hands. “I didn’t want to lose her,” he admitted. “I am always so scared of losing her. She is everything to me.”

“Have you considered that your efforts thus far to “keep” her are what is pushing her away?”

And there it was. His worst fear. That his own desire to save Padmé, to save their relationship would be what tore them apart. 

“What do I do?” he asked quietly. 

Obi-Wan stroked his beard. “I think your apology was a good first step. And talking to me was the right thing to do. I want to help you, Anakin. You may not be a conventional Jedi, but you are a great one; your relationship with Padmé hasn’t hindered you so far.”

Anakin felt himself smile a bit at his former master’s praise. 

Obi-Wan continued, “To me, the Jedi’s rules on attachment aren’t so much about any supposed danger that love and attachment carry, but about our responsibility to the Republic and the galaxy as a whole. The worry is that if you are attached to one person or one family, you won’t be able to serve the entire galaxy. And maybe that is true. But I have begun to think that it is possible that we need that attachment anyways. Maybe it makes us lesser Jedi, but it makes us better people.”

--

Things changed slowly for Anakin after that conversation with Obi-Wan, but they did change. 

He felt lighter, not having to hide that secret from his best friend. Knowing that Obi-Wan did not think any less of him. 

He and Padmé invited Obi-Wan over for dinner one night. It was a little awkward, at first, but eventually they all relaxed and Obi-Wan regaled Padmé with stories from Anakin’s apprenticeship. 

Anakin knew he and Padmé’s relationship would never be fully “normal”, but he was glad to be able to provide her with a little bit of that. 

Their relationship righted itself, as much as it could in the span of a couple of weeks. He still worried, about losing her, about the war. But he knew that she loved him, and wanted to be with him. And it helped, knowing that Obi-Wan was behind them. 

It wasn’t long before Obi-Wan and Anakin were deployed again to the Outer Rim. Anakin didn’t have to ask Rex to cover for him to Obi-Wan anymore. When Anakin started to feel the separation from Padmé, he was able to talk to Obi-Wan. 

It was about the longest they’d ever been separated, gone for three months without seeing each other. It wasn’t long before Anakin was driving Obi-Wan fully crazy with his pining for his wife. 

While they were deployed, Anakin felt like he was on the best terms with his former master than he’d been for a long time, maybe ever. Once that one secret had been told, it was like an avalanche had been released. He told Obi-Wan about his mother’s death on Tatooine, about what he’d done to the Tuskens, about everything.

Obi-Wan had been more than concerned, of course. That involved an even longer discussion than when Anakin had told him about his marriage. There had been a lot of meditation involved. And talking. And more meditating. Eventually, Obi-Wan put a hand on his shoulder, and looking him in the eyes said, “Those mistakes, Anakin, were in the past. I fully believe that you have grown past them, and that you understand not just the horror and gravity of your actions, but are no longer the kind of person who would do something like that again.”

And when he said that, Anakin believed him. Not just that Obi-Wan could forgive him and not see him as any less, but over the course of the Sieges, Anakin also came to believe what Obi-Wan said about him. He wasn’t that person anymore. That anger, that resentment and fear that he had so long held in his heart began to melt away as he continued to confide in Padmé and in Obi-Wan. 

And when they got back to Coruscant, and Padmé told him that she was pregnant, he told Obi-Wan the next day. When he had nightmares about her death, all three of them sat down and talked about how serious it might be, and what they could do. 

Padmé was looked over by a Jedi healer (a friend of Obi-Wan’s who was more interested in healing than in spreading secrets), and, to her chagrin, followed around by a very chipper medical droid called AZ-7. Everyone they talked to said she was healthy. But, his nightmares persisted.

--

When the moment came, Anakin was at peace with himself. Well, maybe not entirely. He still didn’t think that the Council trusted him, but Obi-Wan did. And he still had nightmares. But he didn’t want to let them get to him. 

When Palpatine told him that he could show him how to save Padmé from certain death, things clicked into place for Anakin.

“It’s you,” Anakin said, circling the Chancellor, lightsaber drawn. “You are the one giving me those nightmares.” He paused, and looked at Palpatine in horror. “You’ve been manipulating me this whole time!” He growled. “Since I was a boy!”

“No! It’s the Jedi, the Council that’s been manipulating you, Anakin! Your master, he doesn’t trust you. The Council doesn’t trust you! They fear your powers!”

“I’m not going to listen to you,” Anakin snarled.

Palpatine turned away. “Are you going to kill me?”

Anakin paused. Was he? On one hand, it would be treason, wouldn’t it? Did two opposite acts of treason cancel eachother out? On the other hand, he thought back to the discussions that he’d had with Obi-Wan, with Padmé, about the state of the Republic. The Chancellor’s executive powers. The feeling that all the Jedi had had recently, that there was something going on behind this war that they didn’t understand. 

“I would like to,” he admitted. 

“I know you would. I can feel your anger. It gives you focus,” Palpatine said. He turned back around to face Anakin. “Give into the darkside, Anakin. Know its power. It will make you stronger than any Jedi.”

Anakin thought of Padmé and the twins they’d found out she was carrying. He didn’t want to be stronger. He just wanted them. 

“I am going to turn you over to the Jedi Council,” he told Palpatine.

His expression did not change. “Of course. You should. But you’re not sure of their intentions.”

“I’m not sure of your intentions, either.” Anakin shot back. He pointed his lightsaber towards the Chancellor’s desk. “Sit there. I am going to comm the Temple, and I am not letting you out of my sight.”

He directed Palpatine into the chair at the desk, and then, holding his lightsaber to Palpatine’s throat, used the comm on the desk to contact Master Windu.

Mace Windu’s form appeared, blue and shimmering. “Skywalker, what’s wrong? Obi-Wan has destroyed Grievous. We are on our way to the Senate Offices to make sure the Chancellor turns over his emergency powers.”

“I am with him now,” Anakin said grimly. “And he won’t turn over his powers. He is the Sith we have been looking for. I am holding him here until you can arrive as back-up.” Anakin glanced over to Palpatine, who was not looking at Master Windu’s holographic form, rather he was calmly staring straight ahead, hands folded on the desk in front of him.

“A Sith?” Mace Windu said in surprise. “Okay, Skywalker. Stay there,” he commanded emphatically. “I will gather some Council Members.”

“And the Senate,” Anakin interjected. “They need to know what is happening. That he is a traitor. He was working with Dooku!” he exclaimed, suddenly realizing that it must be true.

Mace nodded grimly. “You’re right. I’ll keep them informed. If he tries something, you have my permission to use whatever force you deem necessary.” With that, the call ended. 

“Do you really think the Jedi will be content to just hand power back over to the Senate?” Palpatine sneered. “You know that they are power hungry. You have witnessed their corruption! They will want me dead.”

“Because you are a Sith! You have betrayed the Republic, Chancellor. You have betrayed the whole galaxy! You have manipulated all of us into this war!”

Palpatine shook his head delicately, aware of Anakin’s thrumming lightsaber inches from his neck. “It was unfortunate, yes, that so many had to die. But now that I am in power, now that I control the Republic and the Separatists, the bureaucracy that you so hate will be gone. I can end slavery on Tatooine with a word. I can put the war criminals behind bars without waiting months for a trial and endless deliberation. Isn’t that what you want?” 

Anakin looked out the window towards 500 Republica. It was. It was what he wanted, wasn’t it? 

He thought of his mother. She could have been saved with a single order. She could have left Tatooine. 

He thought of the horrors of the war. The Twi’leks, the Lurmen, the Togruta of Kiros, the Mandalorians, and all the worlds that had had atrocities committed against them. 

He thought of Padmé. While he had fought for the Republic on the fronts, she had fought for democracy in the Senate. 

“Not like this.”

Palpatine made a face of disgust. “You are weaker than I thought. When I first met you, I sensed the power within you. I knew the Jedi would waste your potential. You would be my apprentice, and I would rule the galaxy with you by my side. 

“But I was wrong,” he hissed, standing up, ignoring Anakin’s lightsaber. “You are weak! Your love for your wife makes you weak,” he said, all but spitting the phrase ‘your wife’. “Your commitment to Kenobi makes you weak. And your commitment to the Council, to the Republic makes you a fool!” he spat, extending his arms, shoving Anakin away with the Force.

Anakin slammed back against the wall on the other side of the room. 

Two lightsaber hilts appeared in Palpatine’s hands, summoned from the sleeves of his robes. Two blood red blades thrummed to life.

Anakin jumped up, lightsaber at the ready, as Palpatine leapt through the air toward him, snarling. 

Anakin brought up his lightsaber to redirect one of the red blades while he spun away from the range of the other. Palpatine slashed. Each slash, each jab, each attack came at Anakin stronger and quicker than he’d imagined. 

As they fought, Anakin felt the tendrils of anger on the edges of his consciousness.

Palpatine had him in a corner. He jabbed. Anakin jumped up and flipped over the lightsabers, over him.

Not just the anger he’d felt when Palpatine had revealed his betrayal. But the anger he’d felt when he’d slaughtered the Tuskens. When he’d attacked Clovis.

Their lightsabers clashed over and over again in a whirlwind of red and blue. The strength and offensiveness of Anakin’s Djem So countering Palpatine’s angry and chaotic Juyo. 

Everything about this war had been a lie. Everything he’d done in this war, everything he’d sacrificed… 

Anakin saw an opening. Before he could take it, blue lightning shot from Palpatine’s fingertips, flowing into Anakin’s chest. He was once again knocked off his feet and into the desk.

The air smelled of burnt cloth and flesh

He growled in frustration. This fight was going on too long.

Palpatine cackled as he rose up from the ground. “Yes, Anakin! Give in to your anger! Give into hate! Only then can you defeat me!”

He charged at Palpatine, who treated his attacks like mere inconvenience. 

Anakin could feel the anger that had long ago taken root in his heart. It wasn’t giving him strength. It was a leech. But he could not remove it, or ignore it. But he would not give into it.

He parried every attack Palpatine threw at him, countering every one with a blow of his own. 

With a thrum-hiss, suddenly Anakin wasn’t alone. Masters Windu, Fisto, Tiin, and Kolar were with him, surrounding the Chancellor. 

“It’s over, Chancellor,” Master Windu declared. “You’ve lost.”

Palpatine snarled, and a wave of Force energy rolled off of him, knocking all of them, including Anakin, off of their feet. 

Windu and Fisto were the first back on their feet, each catching one of Palpatine’s blades on one of their own.

 Anakin was just about done with being thrown across the damn room. He jumped up, and attacked Palpatine from behind, only to be met with more lightning as Palpatine swung around.

 He was ready for it this time. He caught it on his blade, deflecting it back at him. At the same time, Master Windu disarmed him of one blade, while Master Fisto disarmed him of the other. The deflected lightning caught Palpatine in the chest, knocking him to the ground.

Palpatine looked at Anakin. He snarled, “They will never let you have your wife. They will never-”

 With one smooth motion, Windu drove his lightsaber through his heart. 

Anakin stumbled back, both from shock and exhaustion. He deactivated his lightsaber and the others did the same. 

“You should have taken him prisoner,” Anakin said. “This will not look good to the Senate.”

“How it looks to the Senate is the least of our worries,” Master Fisto said mildly.

Master Windu shook his head. “Skywalker has a point. It won’t look good.” He looked Anakin in the eye. “But I had to do it. He was too dangerous to  be left alive. We don’t have the resources to contain that kind of power.” 

Anakin nodded. He knew that he was right. 

“You have done well here, Skywalker,” Master Windu admitted. “But you have a lot of explaining to do.”

Sooooo, like I said, LIGHTNING SPEED. I kind of rushed how much Anakin’s mindset changed in these months, but I might explore that later in one-shots, or if you want to discuss it, leave a comment!! I have a lot of thoughts about it, but at the same time, that’s not what this story is about; it’s about Anakin and Padmé raising Luke and Leia. I just had to get past this prologue lol. BUT, I will say that I am FAR from done dealing with Anakin’s issues. I kinda hand-waved a lot of it away for the purposes of getting through the events of RotS, but I will definitely be circling back.

[finelytaylored]

Strong Enough to Save

Summary:

He frantically looks around the large room, eyes darting faster than his brain can process.

His eyes are drawn to a limp body laying on the ground. The small frame is one that he would recognize anywhere. Rey.

Without even thinking, he jumps up and attempts to run, limping and stumbling his way over to her. He even falls a few times along the way, refusing to give up until he gets to her. The moment he reaches her side, he pulls her body onto his lap and holds her head in one of his hands. He firmly presses the other hand to her abdomen.

The lifelessness behind her eyes and the heaviness of her limp body sends his mind into a panic unlike anything he can ever recall experiencing.

Notes:

I have no idea what this is. I was at work and something popped into my head and suddenly my hands couldn't move as fast as my thoughts were.

Anyway, hope you guys enjoy!

I also didn't really have time to proofread this, so apologies in advanced!

(read it on AO3 here, or read below) 

She could feel it the moment he landed. There was a tugging at the back of her mind that gradually grew stronger. She could feel him getting closer. It was almost comforting in a way- which was something she definitely couldn't afford to let her mind wander to.

Not now.

Not with Palpatine standing in front of her, doing everything in his power to convince her that her destiny was to strike him down; to let her anger lead her down a path she was terrified part of her had already begun to follow. The visions kept coming to her. They were so clear. Almost like they were memories. Moments she had already lived.

She took a few deep breaths and nodded to herself. She was hoping Kylo could see it- or at least feel it. Or maybe she didn't.

Despite what everyone else thought - what he have proved to everyone else- her instincts were telling her... almost screaming at her, to trust his presence here. At this point, she didn't have much choice. He was either here to help her, or to help end her, and she'd just have to face it either way.

x x x x x x x x

Ben jumped out of the banged up scrap of metal ship he had found and started running as fast as his legs could carry him. He tried to reach out with the Force- he could feel her presence very strongly. But he couldn't see her.

He had no idea what he was running in to. He could certainly make a fairly educated guess.

He knew it was a bad idea to charge in, no longer having a weapon to protect himself. Even if he didn't face any obstacles before finding her, he would need something if he was going to face Palpatine.

But he had to get to her.

She was the only one, outside of Leia- and as much as it pained him to say it, Han- who looked at him as Kylo Ren and still saw Ben Solo. Who still wanted him to take her hand. Who was still willing to fight beside him.

Once inside, he got a running start, leaping and clutching to the pillar covered in large chains, gripping as tightly as he could. He let out an audible 'oof' as his body made impact. Of course they had to covered in giant metal chains. He climbed down towards the ground as quietly as he could, and surveyed the dark cavern around him. It didn't take him long to reach the bottom.

And that's when it happened.

The Knights of Ren were there, slowly surrounding him. It felt odd, knowing he was now on the other side of all this. They'd never obey his commands in this moment- or in any other moment going forward. He studied them all for a few seconds. Their body language gave nothing away. He had taught them well in terms of controlling their thoughts and emotions from bleeding out into the Force for others to read.

Even with his strength in the Force growing all the time, he knew he didn't stand much of a chance against them without a lightsaber. He began fighting them off as best he could, mostly using defensive techniques. But we wouldn't last long. It was only a matter of time before one of them pierced his skin- or removed one of his limbs entirely.

Suddenly, he felt relief flow through his body when the Force extended a helping hand. Everything around him fell quiet, the air becoming crisp and familiar as she appeared in front of him. He couldn't see her surroundings- which he had gotten used to - but he could see the lightsaber in her hand, and another hilted at the side of her belt. His eyes flickered down to it briefly before looking back up and catching her gaze. She nodded at him, almost imperceptibly- as if she couldn't fully sense him there but hoped that he was. If he had blinked, he would have missed her aknowledging him completely. He almost shuddered as she stared directly at him. He could feel it.

He took a few steps toward her, until he was standing directly behind her back and turned to face that Knights that had been at his back previously. They watched him curiously as he continued to fight him off. They could see that his attention was split- that something was off about the way he didn't seem to fully be there. Ben nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt the cool mental brush against his the back of his hand. He couldn't stop the corner of his mouth from twitching up into an almost smile. Sure, they had been able to touch each other through their connection. Sometimes there were even elements from wherever she had been that would bleed through to his end of their conversations- a drop of rain, or an unforgiving gush of wind. But this- this was unlike anything they had ever even attempted.

Extending his arm out beside him, he flicked the lightsaber on and watching the blue light illuminate the space around him. He shrugged slightly as he felt the poorly veiled surprised from those that surrounded him, and didn't waste any time getting to work. At least now it would be a fair fight.

x x x x x x x x

Rey felt the presence growing stronger, and couldn't push it aside any more. Couldn't focus.

It only took a split second for her to understand why.

She glanced around the giant cavernous structure she found herself in, trying to ground herself in some sense of reality. She turned back to look at Palpatine but all she could see was Ben.

All of his First Order uniform had been stripped away, with the exception of a pair of long black pants and what appeared to be a black comfortable long sleeved undershirt. There was no long flowing cloak, no layers and layers black falling around him with First Order patches or emblems in sight. The only other time she'd seen him stripped of it was when he had appeared to her shirtless- and she was absolutely not going to think about that now. His expression was open in a way she'd never been allowed to see until that moment. Their connection wasn't as clear as it usually was. But she knew he was there.

He was staring at her and only when his gaze drifted down towards her waistline did she notice he was completely unarmed. His face was vulnerable, but his body language was tense.

If he had come to help Palpatine finish her off, or to ask her again to take his hand and complete her journey to the dark side, he wouldn't be appearing to her like this. They couldn't really control when they saw each other, but she could see in his eyes that he was there to help. But he clearly needed her help first.

Palpatine suddenly appeared back in her line of sight as Ben slowly walked closer to her, eventually coming to a stop behind her. It was a sensation she didn't think she'd ever figure out how to describe. She could feel his energy radiating behind her, but she knew that he wasn't physically standing there.

With her unoccupied hand, she unclipped the spare lightsaber and slid it behind her back. Almost immediately she felt the weight shift as it transferred to his hand. When she was sure he had a grip on it, she moved her hand back to the hilt of the lightsaber in her other hand.

She still had no idea how she was going to defeat Palpatine without giving him exactly what he wanted, but she was sightly comforted by the fact the she wasn't alone. Even if she couldn't see him anymore. She steadied herself as best she could, knowing he was far more powerful than anyone she had ever faced.

x x x x x x x x

As much time as he'd spent training with the Knights of Ren, fighting against them completely outnumbered wasn't made much easier by the knowledge he possessed of their techniques. He didn't hate them. He didn't even necessarily want to kill them- but they weren't just going to let him walk by.

He took the first swing and chaos once again broke out around him. He was knocked to the ground more times than he could keep track of. His determination refused to falter and slowly they began to fall, one by one. Even with his progress, he couldn't help but feel like time was slipping away from him. He couldn't finish the job quick enough.

But the time the last Knight had fallen, he was breathing heavily, drenched in sweat and couldn't help but think about the possibility that he may not make it out of this one alive.

He brushed away the thought and kept moving. He could feel that she wasn't far away, but he still couldn't see her.

Lightsaber still drawn, he focused his energy on reaching out to the Force. He needed guidance. He walked down a dark corridor, his only source of light coming from the weapon in his hand. As he reached the end of the corridor, the room once again opened up in front of him. The pathway split off into two directions, his instinct telling him to follow the one to his right. It only took a few steps before he heard faint echoes of Palpatine's booming voice.

He tightened his grip on the lightsaber and kept walking. With every step he took, he could feel his heart rate increasing. His palms were sweating. Subconsciously, his mind was searching for her. He locked in on her, a split second before he laid eyes on her.

"Rey."

The attention in the room shifted suddenly. All he cared about was the he had made it on time. They still had a chance.

Rey was still alive.

He didn't doubt the strength she had to defend herself- especially if what Palpatine wanted them to believe was actually true.

He had seen what her power looked like- he'd felt it. Even in the short time she'd been training, she had made extraordinary progress. She'd been training aggressively and it showed. There were several times he could recall feeling her frustration through the bond.

He'd never convince her that she needed him to protect her, but he wasn't going to leave her to face this one alone.

He could still feel her palm pressed against his abdomen as she guided some of her life Force through their bond, concentrating it in the area she had fatally wounded him. Where she had healed him. She'd done what she always said she'd do. She bested him. She could have sat there & watched him die.

And then, the moment she witnessed the effects of her actions rippling through the galaxy back at her, she used all of the power she could muster to fix it. As much as he had wanted her to take his hand the few times he had extended it to her, the moment that she chose to save his life solidified the fact that she never could have. Not while he was still parading around as Kylo Ren. He dared to let himself hope that extending a hand to her as Ben, she'd be more willing to accept.

...if they even made it out of this.

x x x x x x x x

Standing next to each other, they lifted their lightsabers almost in unison.

Rey ran towards Palpatine, ready to strike, instead, having to maneuver her weapon to block the lightning he sent her way. Ben ran up to take some of the attention off of her and Palpatine instantly lifted his other hand, sending him flying unforgivingly hard into one of the stone walls.

Rey struggled to hold him off. Palpatine used the Force to lift them both sending shocks of lightning through his hands. He looked at them both, almost with a look of admiration.

"The connection you two share is unlike any bonds the Force usually forms. It is exceedingly rare- especially between two as powerful as you." he remarked. "This is exactly the kind of power I was hoping to find. This is the only way I will truly be able to restore my life Force to it's former glory."

They both struggled against his power. He lowered them to their knees as he continued to draw their life Force from them.

Ben and Rey both fall, almost simultaneously, hitting the ground as Palpatine basks in the pure power surging through his body.

Rey's fingers begin to twitch and she slowly, weakly attempts to pull the lightsaber closer to her. It's just beyond her reach, and it's only through sheer will power does she manage the strength to shift over and grab it. Her whole body shakes as she pulls herself up to her knees- just in time to see Ben's body fly past her and over the cliff edge a behind them.

She ignites the lightsaber in her hand once again, using every drop of strength she has left in her body. She summons Ben's lightsaber into her other hand, giving her more leverage against the lightning Palpatine relentlessly blasts her way. Rey focuses on the life Force she feels humming through her into her core and pushes until she feels power surge through her. It surges out of her and she sees it overtake him completely - eating any at his physical form until he crumbles into nothing.

The last spark of the Force starts to fade from her body, and she once again collapses to the ground.

x x x x x x x x

Ben's eyes shoot open as he feels himself land- hard. He coughs violently and desperately tries to get air circulating through his lungs again. Sitting up slowly, wincing in pain at any movement at all, he looks around and realizes that Rey and Palpatine are nowhere to be found. He reached out with the Force, waiting to feel that familiar tug as he finds her- but he can't feel anything. She's not there.

He couldn't even remember what it felt like to reach out and not feel her life Force at all. It was distressing in ways he didn't even want to think about.

Ben pushes himself to stand and nearly collapses to the ground again almost immediately. He can feel that a few ribs are at least bruised, if not broken, and putting any weight onto his right leg is excruciatingly painful.

He takes a few deep breaths. He has to get to Rey.

Looking around, Ben soon discovers that the only way he can go is up. He doesn't give himself any time to dwell on how painful it's going to be and just starts climbing.

Immediately, he feels his body yelling out in protest and he bites his lip to keep from screaming. He feels like hours have passed by the time he reaches the ledge. He knows that pulling himself up over it is going to hurt. A lot. He tries to brace himself. He uses his feet to push up and he lunges, letting out a loud groan as he lands on his battered torso.

He frantically looks around the large room, eyes darting faster than his brain can process.

His eyes are drawn to a limp body laying on the ground. The small frame is one that he would recognize anywhere. Rey.

Without even thinking, he jumps up and attempts to run, limping and stumbling his way over to her. He even falls a few times along the way, refusing to give up until he gets to her. The moment he reaches her side, he pulls her body onto his lap and holds her head in one of his hands. He firmly presses the other hand to her abdomen.

The lifelessness behind her eyes and the heaviness of her limp body sends his mind into a panic unlike anything he can ever recall experiencing.

He closes his eyes and tries to force himself to stay calm. Ben has no idea what he's doing. He had never seen someone use the Force to heal another person the way Rey had done for him. He had heard whispers, ones that had echoed through time and reverberated around the galaxy, eventually finding their ways into the corridors he walked down every day. It was said that harnessing the power of the Dark Side could allow you the strength to cheat death. But this was something else. Rey hadn't cheated death for him out of hatred. Maybe out of pain... but..

He couldn't dwell on that now. He had no idea what to think. He didn't know what power to use or where to pull Force energy from. He takes another deep breath and concentrates on searching for her. He so desperately wants to feel that spark; that feeling at the back of his mind that he had come to recognize as her. He focuses. He tries to push life into her, having no idea what that actually feels like or if he's doing anything at all. He takes the Force he feels connected to and tries to guide it through his hand and into the body lying in his arms.

His hopes start to dwindle as he doesn't feel anything happening - but he just can't. Can't live with the fact that he failed to protect her. That he's alive without her. His breathing becomes erratic as he feels panic and dread threatening to take over.

Suddenly, he feels a gentle tugging at the corner of his mind and his eyes shoot open. He doesn't dare move his hand - even as she slowly blinks until her eyes open fully and she pushes herself up into a sitting position.

She looks into his eyes and he can see a thousand questions racing through her mind. He slowly lifts his hand and gently places it on her cheek.

"Ben.." she whispers as her face breaks out into a blinding smile.

Ben feels himself smiling just as wide. It's a bit rusty and unfamiliar, the emotions that surge through him in that moment. He knows he's felt them before- or something like them at least; a very, very long time ago. But he couldn't possibly have ever felt them like this. He lets out a small laugh in relief.

He doesn't know how to express everything he wants to say in that moment. He's almost afraid to speak - to disturb the moment. The way she's looking at him. The way she hasn't moved out of his lap or flinched away from his hand gently stroking her cheek.

If this is the only moment he gets to have with her like this, he's not going to be the one to break it.

She's taken the last few moments look at him, with an emotion behind her eyes that he doesn't have a name for. Their eyes meet again and Rey leans forward and presses her lips against his before he can even process what's happening. Without thinking about it, he slides his hand from her cheek to the back of her head and tries to pull her even closer.

He can't control it anymore. He can't treat the moment delicately anymore out of fear. If this is his only chance at this, his only moment to show her what he's never been able to with words, he's not going to let it slip through his fingers.

x x x x x x x x

Her head feels heavy- full. Too full. She has experienced grogginess before, but this felt so much heavier. More... infinite, almost. Slowly, gradually, she feels it getting lighter. She feels a presence, gently floating through her mind. Her thoughts start becoming clearer as it passes through. She feels a rush of air push through her lungs and her eyes open. Feeling disoriented, she somehow manages to sit herself up relatively quickly and is greeted by the surprisingly welcome face of Ben Solo.

For a moment, it disorients her further. She searches his face and then forces herself to make eye contact. Searching the depths of them for what she'd always seen a glimmer of- but this time it's all she finds and she can't help the smile that spreads across her face. She says his name, almost in a sigh of relief. "Ben.."

This is the first time she's looked at him and has seen no traces of Kylo Ren behind his eyes. He's not fighting with himself anymore.

He immediately smiles back at her and her heart nearly stops at the sight of it. She's seen him smirk before, but there had always been pain or anger or malice behind it. Seeing a pure smile on his face is something she tried to keep herself from even dreaming of.

Ben was looking at her like she was the only thing that mattered, and as much love as she had felt from the new family she had fallen into since leaving Jakku- she'd never been looked at like this before. Her eyes flicker closed for a few seconds as he slowly brings his hand up to touch her face. He gently touches her cheek, almost as if he's afraid it will be unwelcome.

She ignores the hesitation she feels from him and studies every inch of his face. She doesn't know how long this moment will last. She's so caught off guard that she doesn't know what to do with it- but to do nothing would feel like a waste.

She shifts her gaze back up to his eyes and before she realizes what she's doing, she feels herself leaning and in and pressing her lips against his. A brief moment of panic rushes through her when her brain catches up to what she has actually done, but it disappears instantly as she feels his hand slide from her cheek to the back of her head. He gently tries to pull her even closer. She's already on his lap- she was hoping he hadn't noticed that she had stayed there even after she regained consciousness. He clearly didn't seem to mind now, as even that didn't feel close enough.

They slowly part, only enough to bring air back into their lungs, as Ben rests his forehead on hers. They spend a few moments just breathing, not saying anything. This moment belongs completely to them and she's terrified that breaking away from it means they'll never get it back- that they'll have wasted their one real moment together.

But even with Palpatine defeated, the planet is burning around them and there would be plenty of people frantically searching for her amongst the chaos. She's the first to move, and this time when she looks into his eyes, she see something that wasn't there before. He almost looks.. sad? resigned? She isn't quite sure what to call it. She struggles with what she wants to say, but finally manages, "We can't stay here."

A look of disappointment flickers across his features, only briefly, before he nods in agreement. "I know."

She can feel it in the air between them. So many unspoken, unanswered questions created a new kind of tension in the air.

"I don't... I can't share this bond with you Rey. Not anymore." Ben says, refusing to look her in the eyes for the first time since she opened hers.

He feels how hurt she is through the bond, and in the way her entire body tenses just slightly. It might have gone unnoticed by anyone that wasn't paying as close attention to her as he was.

"...after this ... the bond won't be enough. It already made things extremely difficult before." He pauses to gather his thoughts, still not looking at her. "Having no control over it has always been frustrating, to say the least. I know I don't have to tell you that. I'd turn around when the silence became almost demeaning, and you'd be there. And I was never prepared for it. I never had my guard up- not the way I needed to."

He pauses again and even so, Rey barely has time to process the words coming out of his mouth.

"... And now. Now that I've felt this.. I won't be able to control it anymore. I won't be strong enough to try to keep that wall up between us. I'll seek you out within the bond, and it will never be enough. Shielding my thoughts and feelings from you... I won't want to do that anymore. I don't want to do that anymore."

He finally makes eye contact with her again, just in time to see the tears welling up in her eyes, a few spilling over and running down her cheeks. He's caught off guard completely. He's seen tears of anger and frustration from her before... but this, was not that.

The silence that fills the space between them is agonizing. He couldn't tell you how long it lasted. It was a new kind of deafening. More unbearable than the vacuum of silence that enveloped him when their bond would bring them together for stolen moments together from opposite ends of the galaxy.

Finally, Rey is the one to break the silence.

"Ben.." she made sure she was looking into his eyes before she continued. "Take my hand. Please."

It wasn't the first time he'd heard that from her. He'd asked her to do the same not long ago- but everything had changed since then. He never thought she'd extend her hand to him again. He thought he knew that turning her down would have shut that door forever. How foolish he had been then to think he could survive that way when the Force so clearly had them tethered.

"Rey... they'll never accept this." He had so much to answer for. So many wrongs to right. So many things he'd done that he would never be able to take back. "They'll never look at me and see Ben the way that you do."

There was a deep sadness in his eyes - so much regret and uncertainty. Rey felt another tear slip down her cheek. "You're right." She replied.

As much as she wanted to tell him he was wrong, they both knew that there were a lot of people who wouldn't forgive him; wouldn't trust him.

"It may take a very long time before others look at you and see you for who you really are. It's not going to be easy." She continued. She looked down briefly to find his hand and intertwined his fingers with hers. "But I'll never stop looking at you and seeing the good that I know has always been there."

She feels his hand tighten around hers and she feels the corners of her mouth tick up into a small smile.

"Please don't walk away from me again." There is a tinge of desperation in Rey's voice as she continues. "Come with me. Come home."

Ben had only ever heard a pleading for him to come home a handful of times in his life that he could recall. When his mother tried to reach out to him, she'd said it often. Luke had given up long ago, and after their falling out he couldn't blame him for it. His father hadn't been as persistent - but it had always been harder on him. This wasn't the first time at least a small part of him wanted to. He had worked very hard in the past to keep those occasional urges at bay; to build a wall around himself strong enough that not even his own mother could penetrate it.

This time was different. Of course it was. Last time Rey had asked him, he was so focused- so determined to achieve one goal. To get her to take his hand. Now he realized it was always going to be this way- her saving him. Her extending him the opportunity for a home and a true purpose; one he knew that he didn't deserve.

He realized he still hadn't answered her and she was beginning to look defeated.

"I couldn't bring myself to walk away from you again. Even if I wanted to. I would be walking away from the only thing in the galaxy that I have left." Ben replied, rubbing patterns into her hand, which somehow she was still allowing him to hold. He stared down at them as he spoke. This level of vulnerability was extremely uncomfortable for him. He was stupidly afraid that she'd change her mind. That she'd reject him and then he would try be alone, with no where to turn. He'd live with it. It was the fate he knew he actually deserved.

He felt her fingertips gently touch his chin, slowly guiding his head to look at her. There was a hopeful spark in her eyes- a playfulness he was not used to seeing directed at him. "Let's go home."

"Home." he replied, with the smallest smile on his face. He nodded in agreement, almost as if to reassure himself.

Rey stood, slightly stumbling in the process. Ben gently held her steady as he stood, all of the previously forgotten pain rushing back to him. His knees almost buckled beneath him. He grimaced and his hand flew to his side. He could still barely put any weight on his leg without wanting to scream.

The expression on Rey's face immediately changed to one of alarm as she watched Ben struggle to even stand on his own. She was so wrapped up in just being with him that it completely slipped her mind that he was most likely injured. She rushes to his side, offering as much support as her small frame can offer someone who towers over her, and they being walking in the direction they hope will lead them out.

Rey can tell they're getting closer to finding their way as the sounds from outside of the cave begins to echo off of the walls. When they finally step outside, it looks like the sky is falling around them. She leads them to the closest ship she can find as fast as they can manage. It's a relief to the both of them when Ben finally has a chair he can collapse into. He tries to stifle the groans of pain and discomfort as he forces himself to focus on the task at hand.

Rey readies the ship so quickly and efficiently, as if she's under this amount of pressure every time she operates. Given what she's been through most of her life- the past few years especially- Ben shouldn't be surprised to see her like this. And surprised isn't the right word. He's in awe of her, more than anything. The feeling wasn't new; allowing his mind to linger on it and acknowledge the way he felt about it- that was new.

She expertly navigates them through the crumbling landscape and the flow of debris falling constantly around them in the sky. As soon as they leave the atmosphere of the planet, Ben lets out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding in.

Rey puts in the coordinates of what Ben assumes is the Resistance base and then turns to look at him.

The silence that surrounds them isn't tense or uncomfortable, but it feels almost delicate. They were in new, unexplored territory with each other. Neither one of them knowing where to start or how.

Ben decides to bite the bullet and ask the question he'd been dreading to hear the answer to. "What happens when we land?" His eyes had shifted away from her and were now burning a hole into the cockpit in front of him.

Rey didn't respond immediately. He hadn't expected her to. He trusted her completely. He wasn't worried about what his fate would be with the Resistance if it was only her decision to make. But it wasn't, and they both knew that.

"We go straight to the med bay. We don't have enough crew left for it to be fully operational as it once was, but they'll look after you." She made it sound so simple. She wasn't looking at him either.

His eyes snap over to her in disbelief. He almost scoffs but manages to bite his tongue. "Without you there, I have a feeling that making sure I'm taken care of will not fall on their list of priorities." Ben replied.

She caught his gaze again before replying. "Then I won't leave you alone."

As always, he only saw truth in her eyes. No matter how it was she had looked at him in the past, her eyes had always told him what he needed to know.

"There's still time for you to change your mind. No one has to know that I'm alive; that you helped me." He had to offer her another out. "You're going home the hero of the Resistance. The moment you step out of this ship with me by your side, there's going to be a dark cloud hanging over all of that."

Silence hung in the air once again and Ben tried not to let it make him anxious. He had started to allow himself to imagine what having a real home would feel like. He knew it was too late to experience it in the true sense, with both of his parents and Luke now gone.

But somehow he had convinced her that he was worth of a home; a home where they wouldn't have to look to the Force to be connected. He couldn't remember the last time he felt brave enough to allow himself to hope.

"The Resistance has never been one person, Ben."

He opened his mouth to reply, but she continued talking before he could say anything.

"I understand that symbolically, I've played an important part in all of this. But it's never been about that for me."

"I know." Ben replied, without hesitation.

"I know what it's like to be alone. To have no one." Rey continued. "I'm not going to let that happen to you again. We've both experienced enough loneliness for a lifetime. I've made my choice and I'm willing to face whatever consequences come along with it."

She spoke confidently, and he couldn't sense any fear, or doubts, or regrets or uncertainty. She had decided that this is what she wanted, and she was just as if not more stubborn than he was. No one was going to change her mind now.

He smiled at her, and she smiled right back before walking over to the other seat in the cockpit and sitting down next to him.

[orcinusorca1617]

Favorite Star Wars Fics

REBELCAPTAIN

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They don’t acknowledge the distant shrill screams of TIE Fighters and X-Wings outside.

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They make it off Scarif, but not without scars.

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REYLO

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Ben Solo refuses to take a stunt double and pays the price when he breaks his leg filming his latest action blockbuster. His new physical therapist, Rey Sanders, seems to be the only person in Hollywood who doesn’t recognize the infamous Kylo Ren – and for some reason, he finds himself fighting to keep it that way.

A Royal Mistake reyofdarkness

Ben Solo (aka The Playboy Prince): Prince of Alderaan and tabloid sensation, never seen with the same girl twice.

Rey: Mechanic, blissfully unaware of Ben Solo's very existence.

Until Paige recruits her for a night servicing the Met Gala, host to a diverse class of guests, including royalty. It is there that a chance encounter gets Rey caught up in a pair of pretty eyes and a charming personality that she knows she should stay far, far away from. The universe, however, seems to have other plans. Hot Tip: Don’t look up your crush’s sex tape.

The End of a String Silvershine

A bridge still exists between the Supreme Leader of the First Order and the rebel known as Rey. As the connection winds tighter, the line between enemy and friend continues to blur, and Rey's loyalties are called into question. A force bond can bring companionship and support, but it's not without its dangers... or delights.

No Ill Will Castiloar

His face set into a resigned expression before tapping his phone with a final flourish, sending whatever excuse he made. She almost jumped when he squarely met her gaze. “Me? Your hostage? I’d almost think you like having me here.” Even with the congestion he managed to drop his voice low enough to make the quip weigh heavy.

variations on a theme of you disasterisms

"Who knows?" Luke darted a faint smile at Ben and Rey as they stewed in silence and disbelief. "The two of you might even learn to get along. Right, Leia?"

"Like a house on fire," the General deadpanned. "Complete with screams, flames, and people running for safety."

"Indeed." Luke's blue eyes twinkled. "There may be no survivors."

As Hard As I Try... KKetura

When her friends find out about her force bond with Kylo Ren, Rey finds herself more alone than ever. But in her forced solitude, she slowly discovers a better understanding of herself and the man to whom she's inextricably linked.

lying restless (as the dawn comes near) TheJGatsby

They have a tradition for nightmares.

you gotta stop doing that semi-hiatus

She caught herself right before the words ‘you gotta stop doing that’ slipped from her lips, saving her from having the explain why she randomly started talking to herself in the hallway.

Why Her? Aramenialys

Just one last battle. One. Then they can be done and put everything behind them. That was the plan. Then it's smashed to bits, and Kylo has to figure out how to come back from tragedy and form a new one. A short drabble/oneshot about Rey dying and (redeemed) Kylo learning to cope.

Quiet issueswithjedipedagogy

He wasn’t sleeping. She had caught sight of him in the darkness, blinking awake to the strange vacuum the bond created around her; the quiet focus on two souls that seemed to make everything else fall away.

Soft Things catmusing

Kylo Ren wakes up aboard a familiar and yet unknown ship. His body aches and it hurts to remember but there is Rey of light.

Aphelion ambiguously

Stranded on a barren planet together, Rey and Kylo Ren have only each other to help them survive.

Vulnerability and Soft Hair smallenoughtofit

After two years with the Resistance, Kylo Ren still lacks any real security or relationships outside of his tenuous whatever-this-is with Rey. And Rey still wonders what his hair feels like.

the remedy is the experience (i won't worry my life away) TheJGatsby

Rey gets sick, and she isn't very good at letting people look after her.

Proper Sleep tearoomsaloon

Much to her frustration, Rey can no longer properly sleep unless she's snuggled between Ben's glorious pecs

ad infinitum hyperphonic

for the prompt: Rey and Kylo telling Leia, Rey is pregnant. Leia had no clue.

any way you want it thegoodlannister

rey helps ben begin to work through the process of making decisions - even really simple ones - for himself. rehabilitation is a slow process in the aftermath of the mess snoke has spent three decades making of ben's mind.

It Will Come Back ReyloTrashCompactor

“Honey, don’t feed it. It will come back”

A Series of Firsts Tandy

Ben (or is it Ren?) and Rey sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love and then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage.

A story told in firsts.

Dark Prism whythokylo (OpalElephant)

Rey awakens again, except this time it's to a life she can't recall with a man she only knows as her enemy. My attempt at a long form, dark AU. (Formerly titled Aphelion)

A Few Small Repairs TourmalineGreen

Rey buried her face in her blankets. She wasn’t crying. She wasn’t going to allow herself to feel anything. Rain was just water, and so were tears. It would all dry, in time. The storm would pass, and then she’d keep going. That’s how it always had been, and that’s how it was going to be.

She would be alright, after this. She would find a way, find something…

what ails you thegoodlannister

or: three times ben solo was sick and one time kylo ren was. unabashed reylo and even more unabashed hurt/comfort.

100 Ways to Say I Love You AquaWolfGirl

Taken from a list on Tumblr of 100 Ways To Say I Love You, 100 little oneshots leading up to Valentine's Day.

I'm always in this twilight (in the shadow of your heart) disasterisms

Coded on a secondhand datapad in a run-down motel room in Mos Eisley, deleted and never sent: Everything about us was a whirlwind.

Written on a scrap of durasheet in a Tion Cluster outpost, the words fading after a while into air and ghosts: You shouldn't have forgiven me for any of it.

Scraped into the bark of an oak tree on the Argazdan homeworld: You won't believe the dreams I have about you.

the one with the lust writing-reylo

She has bigger things to worry about than that.

The most pressing of which is reclining in her bed, shirtless.

“Can you move?” She asks, unwinding her scarf and shrugging off her huge jacket.

Milking It thewayofthetrashcompactor

“Rey.”

The voice was deep and familiar, rough with exhaustion, and echoed across the gap closed by the Force.

She ignored it, hunched over on the edge of the cot she'd been sleeping on. She wanted nothing more than to lean back and curl up into an unconscious ball again, but another voice, this one much closer, called her name again.

morning in the burned house disasterisms

Leia's not really surprised at all, to be honest, but, for the sake of his pride, she should probably pretend to be.

find a thread to pull, and we can watch it unravel again_please

The war is over, Snoke dead at Rey and Kylo's hands. The two of them find themselves feeling a bit out of place as the Resistance celebrates and decide that the answer is a bit of good old fashioned Corellian whiskey. Enjoyed responsibly, of course. And in private.

Because You're There disasterisms

Three years ago, Rey had not yet climbed Everest.

Presenting the first half of my fic/art trade with the lovely lilithsaur, based on her trash triplets x 2 universe. The gist is that there are three Solo boys— Kylo, Ben, and Matt (the character from Adam Driver's SNL skit)— and three Kenobi girls— Kira (dark Rey), Rey, and Daisy (undercover Rey).

Sword of the Jedi (series) diasterisms

“What do you think?” Luke asks his nephew. “She has potential.”

“She bit me, Master,” is Ben’s stiff response. “Any opinion I give would be biased.”

Or: Everyone is connected, even if, sometimes, it's just by the skin of our teeth. Even in the midst of darkness, still, luminous beings are we.

Reign OptimisticBeth

Alternate Ending to "The Last Jedi." Rey accepts Kylo Ren’s offer in return for the lives of the retreating ships.

Political maneuvering is not Rey's forte. She must adjust to life as the First Order's first lady, making friends and enemies along the way and indulging in sweet awkward romance with her Ben.  

Burgeoning Hope crossingwinter

#ShesPregnantAndHesDumbAndHasntLeftHisJobYet

miles from where you are mooncactus

After an argument over Star Wars fandom with a "gatekeeping, entitled monster" with the cryptic username of KyloRen, Rey finds herself stuck in a series of unavoidable video calls.

Prisoner orphan_account

Rey has been running all her life. She had known since she was a small girl that she was born with the powers that had been cursed and labeled evil by the galaxy. Running had worked for so long, that she was almost surprised when the bounty hunter Kylo Ren had caught her trail. But they might have more in common than they both originally thought.

Hand of Fate sweetestcondition

Rey is offered a choice at the end of Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi. This time, she takes the hand of Kylo Ren, grasping at the chance to transform the First Order from the inside. She hopes to create a Resistance from within, starting with the heart of Ben Solo. | feat. KoR, Kezzik

keep me in your clouded mind hi_raeth

Flu season has claimed its latest victim: Rey’s roommate, Ben Solo. But it’s fine. She’ll get him dressed, bring him to the hospital, and everything will be okay. Things are totally under control.

Except for the part where Ben has completely lost his verbal filter and keeps babbling about his feelings for her.

Exile Ernzo

The war is over and the First Order has fallen. Ben has returned home to face his consequences.

A story of Rey and Ben finding peace in the aftermath of war as Ben accepts his punishment.

made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter disasterisms

The First Order does not exist, what is dead stays dead, and they grow up together at Luke's Jedi Academy.

Or: The one where everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.

(Then again, it's Ben and Rey, so maybe things hurt a little.)

A little ginger, a little honey Areah51

Rey is sick, and Ben shows up where he's not wanted, but in the end, we all need someone to take care of us when we're ill.

my wildest wind (come blow into my room) meritmut

“Would it have been so terrible?” he asks. “Staying?”

Could we have had this? she thinks, like she always does.

Non-consecutive ForceTime vignettes in the days, weeks and months after Crait.

Play to Win Enterprisingly

Ben Solo – aka KyloRen – is a professional gamer, playing the first-person-shooter StarKiller for the internationally ranked eSports team, The First Order. He’s made a name for himself as a ruthless competitor with a ferocious temper and top-notch skills that can’t be beat. That is, until a mystery player named ReyOfLight begins thoroughly trouncing him whenever they cross paths.

Unwell AquaWolfGirl

Jakku was cold, but nothing compared to Hoth. While staying at the old Rebel base, Rey catches a cold, and someone is a huge worry wart over the woman who denied his offer.

The One Where He Decides writing_reylo

He’s on the bridge and he’s alone.

The First Order are no more.

It only took him a year, carefully manipulating every weak mind he came across, emotionally manipulating the ones he couldn’t.  

Embers sciosophia

All the myriad things he’d been—someone who made her laugh; the warmth on the other side of the bed; her best friend—those things, Rey had buried.

Rey left Ben two years, three months, and sixteen days ago. But who's counting?

Interstellar Transmissions LovelyThings, ricca_riot

Rey’s interrogation at the hands of Kylo Ren triggered an awakening in the Force, as well as an unwelcome bond that links them across the galaxy and grows stronger every day.

What Stays and What Fades Away astra_inclinant

Her feelings for Kylo Ren are quiet, not acknowledged, but deeply felt. She cannot make peace with them and send them from her mind.

Or, everyone is emotionally stunted and no one has healthy coping skills.  

Our Heaven is Just Waiting FrostedFox

It's his turn to fall wounded before her, and her turn to decide where to go from there.

If only she could convince him to stay alive.

make it look just the way i planned TheJGatsby

Ben buys the painting on a brokenhearted impulse, and somehow it ends up being exactly the right choice.

(Based on the song Paint Me a Birmingham)

[incognitajones]

belatedly

Some time ago, @literatiruinedme prompted me with “Cassian as the little spoon.” But I’d just finished writing all the trick or treat prompts, and then I plunged into exchange fic madness for six weeks... so it took a long time to fill it for you. Apologies!

“You’re hurt,” Jyn mutters out of the corner of her mouth. She shifts in front of him, angling herself in a way that’s designed to make the flow of bodies on the moving walkway deflect away from him.

Cassian shakes his head, but even that small movement makes him a liar by its stiffness. He clips his response short to give as little away as possible. “Not bad.” And not here. He can’t afford to slow them down, even if his spine feels like molten durasteel has been injected into it, burning pain trickling down his nerves.

Not that bad, he repeats to himself. It was just a rough landing, not even a fall or a blow. If it was bad, he’d have passed out when he hit the ground. Instead, he’s still able to walk with only a slight hint of the agony in his back coming through in his stride, only a little stiffer than usual. It makes him look nervous, but that’s okay; in this city, everyone looks nervous.

Jyn just grunts skeptically and plants herself more firmly in front of his weakened left side. She may be small, but she’s rooted strongly enough to divert people around her. The expression on her face is probably scaring them away too.

Cassian grits his teeth, and takes a deep breath through his nose, and holds on. He keeps moving because if he stops, he’s not sure he’ll be able to start again without an audible groan of pain. One burning step at a time, like walking on coals, one lead-heavy foot in front of the other, until they get back to the ship.

Once on the nondescript freighter, just big enough for two crew and one navdroid (which is unfortunately not Kay), at least he can sit down. He’s able to remain upright long enough to get them offplanet and into a hyperspace lane. Then it’s a matter of preparing himself, steeling for the pain when he stands up. Because that will hurt—much worse, probably, given the time he’s had to stiffen up.

Before he can do it, though, Jyn levers herself out of the copilot’s seat and rests her hand lightly on his shoulder. His indrawn hiss of breath can’t be hidden. She slides her palm down his back, barely touching him, but he can feel the warmth along his spine even through his shirt. “Where does it hurt?”

“Everywhere,” he answers, beaten down into honesty for once. Her hand presses harder on a knotty chunk of muscle and scar and he almost cries out.

“Berth.” Jyn’s voice makes it an order. He fumbles to think of a reason she’ll accept as to why he shouldn’t obey, but he can’t.

She anticipates him anyway. “Auto-pilot will manage just fine for a few minutes. Come on.” He leans heavily on her for ten slow and lurching steps to the single crew berth, and with her help manages to lie down on it without bending at more than a ninety degree angle.

He ends up facing the bulkhead, scratched and dented and looking as flat and pathetic as he feels. Jyn’s hand slips from his arm and he clutches at it with an unthinking spasm.

“I’ll be right back, I’m just getting a painkiller.”

“Nothing too strong,” he mutters, even though he trusts her.

“I know,” she answers, half-exasperated, but the tinge of fondness in her voice soothes him. If anyone understands his loathing of being sedated, it’s Jyn.

He doesn’t move in the few seconds it takes her to find the medkit and grab a hypospray. He just breathes, trying to focus through the stabbing pain of each inhale until Jyn returns. “Just an analgesic. Nothing that will put you out.” She pulls up his shirt and presses the spray to the small of his back. It releases the drug and a soft hiss. Cassian holds back a yelp at the sensation of cold permeating the tissue.

Her weight settles on the mattress behind him and she fits her body delicately around him, knees curving behind his, her forehead pressed between his shoulders. She slings an arm around his waist and he grabs her hand, pulling it up to cradle against his chest.

The pain hasn’t lessened, but the hypospray is beginning to take effect and although it’s still there, it’s at a distance: like watching an explosion through transparisteel, or touching a blade insulated by a thick blanket. Jyn slips her other hand beneath his shirt and rests her palm, warm and rough, against the cold spot at the small of his back. He can let go now, knowing that she’s here, safe and unhurt, between him and any possible attack.

Cassian closes his eyes, but he won’t sleep—can’t until they’ve rendezvoused with the fleet. Their mission report should go to Leia as well as Draven, she’ll want to know about the Alderaanian cell in the city they just left. He can still smell the acrid odor of the smokebombs Jyn set off to cover their retreat; it’s caught in his clothes. Every time he looked at Jyn on this mission, he had to suppress a doubletake at the sight of her eyes, turned pale blue by iris-disguising contacts. On Yavin 4 there were little blue flowers, weeds, that grew around the feet of the pyramids...

He jerks, catching himself on the edge of dozing off. How long has he been wandering? “I should get up,” he mumbles. The navdroid on this ship is eager, and capable enough, but it’s no Kay.

“No.” Jyn slips a foot between his legs and curls it around his shin. “You should rest here until it’s time to re-enter atmosphere. I’ll pin you down if I have to.”

Even in Cassian’s blurrily floating mind, that concept rouses some very interesting images. “Is that a promise?”

He can feel Jyn’s cheek move as she smiles against his back. “Mmm, definitely. But later. Once you’re off the injured list.”

He sighs, letting himself bask in the luxury of Jyn curled snug around him, and bargains with her. “I’ll rest if you do.”

“Blackmail, Captain?”

“Just taking advantage of the opportunity. And encouraging you to do the same.” His voice scrapes in his raw throat, where he can still taste the smoke.

She lifts her head and presses a soft kiss to the base of his neck. For a second, the pain is eclipsed by the touch of her lips. “Then I’ll stay.”

He squeezes her hand and manages to bend his head just enough to kiss her knuckles.

[edited to add a link to the AO3 version]

[funkymbtifiction]

Hello, I've noticed a lot of articles talk about one of the differences between Ne and Ni is how one expands an idea and another narrows it down. Because I'm a simpleton, could you please explain what exactly that means and perhaps give an example of it?

High Ne is like flypaper. Other people’s ideas get stuck to it, and then Ne cannot let them go without great difficulty. For example, I may decide a certain character is a certain type, then do an internet search and find out other people think they are a different type. If their argument is sound, I may doubt my initial impression and adopt that idea, and then find it hard NOT to see both arguments as valid. That’s a natural facet of high Ne – you can’t ignore other people’s ideas even if they contradict your own. They stuck in your head.

Another example of this; I spent the weekend with my INFP friend. She told me how much she disliked the last Star Wars installment, and listed all the reasons why. I listened and told her I understood her feelings, but this is how I felt and interpreted it – and she was able to see my side, calm down, and realize her issues with the movie were not hinged on the things she complained about, so much as unresolved feelings about Princess Leia’s lack of closure in the film. After talking to me, she could see how logical some of the decisions were in the movie but also knew I shared her disappointment in Leia’s plot-line not being resolved. Since she’s a high Ne, she’s very open to changing her mind, even if she has a strong Fi-dom opinion – she can’t NOT listen to an argument.

I have not found this to be the case in high Ni types; all the external collecting of arguments and sorting through them goes on in their mind, rather than in direct conversation with others – so by the time they decide to express a strong opinion, it has been stewing for awhile and is almost always semi-final. Ni does not much like external ideas and often rejects them offhand, until they have had time to internally process them, weigh them against their internal interpretation and perception, and then either decide to embrace it as part of their overall worldview or reject it altogether. (This is how all ‘i’ functions, work; subjective ‘weighing’ and then acceptance / refusal based on personal preferences.)

My Ni-using friends’ views on Star Wars are pretty much set in stone; they will see and acknowledge my side but not be swayed by my reasoning or ideas. A Ne cannot help expansion and has to work hard to eliminate possibilities (because it’s not natural; start a Ne on a conversation in which they feel strongly about, present an alternate case – or let them do it, since a lot of them will halfway through their mantra – and watch them reach a place of “I don’t know, there IS no right answer”); a Ni wants a singular focus and answer, a peek into the distant future or an outcome.

One crucial way to tell the difference is whether the Ne or Ni user is ‘asking’ or ‘telling’ – when I express an intuitive perception or prediction, I always have an inquisitive tone as if to say, “This is what I believe is going on… does that sound right to you?” because Ne wants external feedback; it wants, if that prediction or insinuation isn’t correct, to have someone present an alternative possibility. It’s more important in a strong / healthy Ne-type to consider ALL POSSIBILITIES than to settle on one, because they want to be right… and that requires intense exploration of not only their hunches, but other people’s too. A Ni is more inclined to make confident predictions for themselves and others; it’s less to ask (since Ni doesn’t need external confirmation for hunches like Ne does) and more to assert and/or tell.

The problems in both can be Ne gets too many ideas, they all cancel each other out, so there’s no forward momentum or motion; Ni excludes all possibilities except the one that seems most attractive, that fails, and leaves Ni with no idea what to do now, since their entire life just fell apart.

- ENFP Mod

[ohwaitimthewriter]

Don’t play shyness

Pairing : Poe Dameron x Solo!Shy!reader

Warning : slight angst? Fluff at the end

Request by anon ❤️ : Hi! I really loved your Solo!reader x Poe imagine! Can i request one of that where the reader is really shy and since everyone knows that her brother is Kylo Ren they kind of avoid her so she comes an outsider but still has a huge crush on Poe and he is oblivious about it but he admired her father Han when he was a kid and he secretly sneaks on the Falcon, overhears her talking to maybe Chewie that she will never have a chance with him and its a lil angsty but fluff ending

Words count : 1937

A/n : Hi! Thank you for your request, love! I hope you’ll like it!

Masterlist.

An outsider, this is what you were inside your own home. Despite being Leia’s daughter, people seemed to see you mostly as the sister of your father’s murderer. Not only did your father's death, Han Solo, break your heart, leaving you in a tough grief but also everyone started to avoid you as if it was your fault and this brought you on the edge of breaking down. Not that you were naturally a talkative person, not at all actually, you were more about a lone and quiet bird but sometimes you didn’t mind a small company, even if your bashfulness kept you from being extrovert with people.

You entered the mess hall and it was not a surprise to see everyone dug their head into their plates as if they were afraid of you. Afraid? How people could be afraid of someone like you? You wouldn’t even harm a fly and there they were, avoiding your gaze and your presence, making you feel as if you were a ghost, even making you doubt of your own existence. How was it even possible? You kept your head down, quickly going to take your food when you bumped into a strong chest.

« Sorry! » you gasped, feeling your cheeks turning red.

You didn’t even dare to look at the person, you just walked aside to take a plate and some food but you were stopped by a hand on your arm.

« No worries. You’re okay? »

You froze at the sound of the familiar voice. You looked up at Poe Dameron when you felt his hand giving a small encouraging squeeze on your arm. Your heart skipped a beat to run fast in your chest and now, not only your cheeks were red but also your ears. You didn’t trust your voice so you just nodded, taking your plate and with a small salute, you walked out of the mess hall. This was the worst. It’s been a year now that you developped feelings towards Poe, a big, huge crush if you had to be honest and you used to hang around with him when your shyness told you it was okay to have some company. But when your father was killed from your brother’s hands and people started to avoid you, you started to avoid him as well, despite your feelings, being afraid that he would condemn you just like the others did. It was better for you to avoid him first than finding him slowly walking away from you. It was painful but still less painful than if it came from him first. Though, you never talked about your feelings to him and you were pretty sure he wouldn’t see you the same way you did anyway. You even became a master at hiding your feelings to him, it was easy to blame your bashfulness for every little responses your body might have beside Poe. You had a blush? It was because you felt uncomfortable. You shivered because he said your name? You were surprised he called you out of nowhere. You avoided his gaze? Well, you were just not used to look at people straight in the eyes. Your hands were growing sweaty? Simple, you weren’t that much into physical contact. It was so easy that Poe never questionned it. Poe believed in your shyness and sometimes you would wondered why he kept hanging around with you on his own will.

As always, you took refuge in your father’s ship, the Millennium Falcon. Since you became an outsider, you stuck to the ship all day. It became your home inside your home and you could find the only friend you had left after your father’s murder, Chewie. You sighed deeply as you sat down next to him and he made a soft questionning groan.

« All the same Chew’. » you answered, beginning to eat your food.

Chewie roared once more and you looked at him.

« I may have bumped into Poe once again. But I swear, there’s nothing more than the usual. »

What you didn’t know was that Poe followed you. He had sneak into the Falcon, looking around like a little child the beauty of the ship. He took his time to observe the ship, his sparkling with admiration. It was something he never told you, Han Solo was a great figure to him and he always wanted to be like your father and somehow he always had found a lot of your father’s heart in you, making him admire you as much as he did with Han. He felt lucky to be by your side and even more because he knew you didn’t hang out with a lot of people, and it made him feel special. Something you didn’t know either was that he had the same feelings you held for him and the day you started to avoid him broke his heart. He believed the reason you walked away from him was because your father’s death was too difficult to bear but he knew there was something else, he just didn’t know what yet. He was about to join you in the cockpit when he heard you saying his name. He remained in the background, listening to what you had to say to Chewie.

« You know I could never tell Poe anything about how I feel. »

Chewie growled softly in response and you let a sigh out.

« I could never have a chance with him, Chewie! Don’t you see how everyone hates me for what Ben did? » You retorted as your voice expressed the pain you felt.

Chewie scolded you and your heart tightened when the pain gnawed its way inside your chest. You duck your head down and you had to clear your voice a few times beofre being able to speak.

« Why would he be different? » you said quietly, your tone reflected your anxiety.

Poe had enough of this. He suddenly showed up from behind the wall as he walked straight at you, a slight anger in his eyes.

« Is that why you’re avoiding me? » He asked severely.

You jolted at the sound of his voice and your heart ran fast, each pound almost hurting your chest.

« What the..! You scared me! » You gasped turning on your seat to face him.

« Answer to my question, is this the reason why you stay away from me? » Poe insisted, locking his eyes on yours.

Your shyness didn’t take too long to hit you again in the face when you realized he had heard your conversation. You looked at Chewie desparatly for help but he just waved you away as he stood up to let you and Poe having the conversation you had to have for months. Poe bowed his head as a thank you to Chewie and then took his place beside you. A blush spread all over your face and your gaze fell on your plate while you nervosely played with the sleeves of your uniform.

« Don’t play shyness with me right now, y/n. » He commanded softly.

He tilted his head to have a better look at your face as he searched for your eyes with his. How were you not supposed to play shyness? You were shy and even more because of all the feelings that overwhelmed you at the very moment. It’s been a long time since you had been so close to Poe and not only your feelings for him struck you strongly but also the fear that he would reject you.

« You were eavesdropping. »

« You were avoiding me! » he retorted. « moreover for a shitty reason! »

« Shitty reason? » You gasped in disbelief. « There is not a single person on this base who hasn’t rejected me! How was I even supposed to know you wouldn’t do the same? »

« You should have known better. » His voice was low.

You dared a glance towards him and what you saw left you dumbfounded. Poe was hurt. He was hurt and it was because of you.

« I preferred to walk away from you before you did because I didn’t know. » you said quietly and you had to clear your voice to push the pain away.

« Why? » He asked in a softer voice and he let his hand fall on your shoulder.

« It would have been too painful. » you admitted almost in a whisper.

For a moment you wished to disappear and your eyes fell again on your place. Your hands were working hard on your sleeves and suddenly, Poe placed one of his hand over yours and squeezed it gently.

« Y/n, I could never hurt you. » He tried to reassure you.

« How am I supposed to believe you? »

« For several reasons, one of them is I could never hurt the daughter of the man I always wished to be like. » He started and then he looked down at both of your hands as he slowly attempted to untertwine your fingers together. « and another one is you have all the chances you want with me if you still wish to. »

The feeling of his fingers sneaking around yours carefully sent you a shiver along your spine. His warmth collided with yours and suddenly everything felt right. You almost felt stupid for avoiding him, for not telling him about your feelings, for having believed he was like the others. Your cheeks took a pink tint as his warmth nuzzled in your heart. What were you supposed to do now? Your bashfulness was awful at the moment and his soft words made hope grow in your chest.

« Don’t play shyness again. » Poe said, sneaking his arm on your shoulder to use his free hand to turn your head towards him. « Look at me. »

He brushed your jaw with his fingertips  and he studied your face. Little did you know his own heart was a mess from telling your his feelings for you.

« Have I any chance with you? » He started before correcting himself. « No, you know what? if you don’t want me, stop me. » He spoke quickly.

You frowned in misunderstanding when he released your hand to cup your cheek as he leant over you. A few inches was all that left between the two of you. The pulse in your veins echoed in your temple the moment you felt his hot breath on your face. He was waiting for you to do something that could show him you didn’t want that but you stayed still. Of course you wanted him to kiss you and your shyness seemed to get away a brief instant as you took the first step. You brushed softly your lips against his and in no time he crashed his mouth against yours. It was soft, slow and full of affection but something more was there. You could felt he was waiting for this for a long time as he pressed his lips a bit more on yours. He was demanding, for sure you knew it, but he was also attentive because he knew the shyness could strike you anytime to push him away. He gently bit your lower lip as he pulled away, locking his deep brown eyes on yours.

« I hope your father will not make the Force fall on me for this. » he chuckled and you let a small smile fell on your lips.

[fapangel]

So you finally watched The Last Jedi. Thoughts?

It is worse than I could have possibly imagined.Sit down and buckle up, because this one’s a doozy. (Spoilersabound.)

AsI’ve previously detailed, it was clear the movie was a trainwreckeven before I watched it due to simple structural issues with thebasic plot, much of it inherited from The Force Awakens (which I didsee.) To wit, the movie is a sequel to the original trilogy, butcompletely ignores everything that happenedin the original trilogy. Having seen The Last Jedi, it’s nowblatantly clear thatthe new trilogy  was intended as a reboot - but that’s impossible todo when it’s shamelessly mining the OT for characters, concepts, andinformation. I’m not talking about the shameless density of nostalgiareferences and even aped plots in The Force Awakens, either - I’mtalking about The Last Jedi considered in a vacuum. (Just one exampleis Leia’s use of force power to pull herself back into her ship,which makes no sense without the original trilogy context.) Giventhe high praise some of my friends had paid the show, I’d been opento the possibility of it having merit as a movie, ifnot as a Star Wars sequel, butits inability toescape the structural/sequel critique presaged its complete and utterfailures in writing.

Thisis a point I must make explicit: TheLast Jedi is such a horribly written movie that it transcends merefailure; it is actively harmful and offensive, “problematic” inthe sense that the much-maligned “SJWs” use the term. Thisis the unassailable core of the offense that The Last Jedi (“TLJ”)offers. Much of what I’m about to bitch about, especially anythingto do with pre-established Star Wars canon, could have been glossedover, or even forgiven, if the core storytelling was solid enough. Ifit looks flashy and cool, adheres to rules that the audience knowsfrom prior films, oreven rules the film itself laid down earlier, anyaction sequence or detail of spaceships and tech can be made to work.Star Wars is classic Space Opera centered on Space Wizards; youcan get away with a lotifyou’re making one big concession to enable the plot and not justjerking the audience around every five minutes. But TLJ not only doesthat, it also has no story worth making concessions to enable. Theinescapably lethal flaw of TLJ is that none of the characters areworth a damn, and their arcs simply do not work.

That’sit. Without that, you have no story, period. Withthat,any number of flaws, errors, and plot holes might be forgiven, if thecore story is strong enough. Even if the core story isn’tstrongenough, one could at least acknowledge that the movie wasn’t a totaldisaster, it was just dragged down by too many errors, a death of athousand cuts. TLJ manages to have allof the ancillary problems, andno character story at all to make it worth a flying fuck.

Thiswon’t be a comprehensive dismantling of TLJ, as there’s more thanenough out there - I suggest seeing MauLer’sreviews, either the 30 minute “Unbridled Rage” or thethree-part,multi-hourtakedown for a truly exhaustive treatment. This is mostly Planefag’sPerspective (becuase people like it when I say the funny fuqq wordsapparently,) an explanation to my writer friends (which they’ll  findinteresting, as it’s rare for our opinions on works of fiction todiverge so strongly), and presentation of what seems to be aheretofore unmade argument - that TLJ is morally reprehensible bydint of the biases, prejudices and twisted ideas it perpetuates.

Yes,it is that fuckingbad. ButI’m saving the best for last. In order of magnitude, why TLJ is apile of steaming, utter shit:

NOT ONE SINGLEFUCKING CHARACTER ARC WORKS AT ALL.

Thisis the core, unforgivable failing - the complete absence of anyfucking story. This isespecially notable with Rey and Kylo, the lead characters of themovie around which everything else revolves. WhenRey and Kylo first spoke to each other across lightyears, I stood upand shouted “THE FORCEIS NOT A FUCKING SKYPE CALL!” Iwould’ve forgiven the Space Wizard liberties had the interactionsworked, but my wrathproved sadly prescient, as Kylo and Rey’s every interactionthereafter seemed like two teenagers awkwardly flirting over Skype…except they had far lesschemistry than that. As I write this, I find it difficult to evenrecall what they fucking talked about- the first time was Kylo surprised it was happening and Rey callinghim an evil murdering prick (for good reason,) the second time sherang him up when he had his shirt off and he told her to “let go ofthe past, kill it if you must,” and the third time she told him shesensed conflict in him, they touched hands through The Force, and she“saw his future” through this, because Rey Is Very Good At TheForce.

Onthe basis of these three interactions, Reygoes from Kylo Ren’s sworn enemy to moist and thirsty for histhrobbing red lightsaber. I shit you fucking negative. Uponthese three brief conversations,the central character story of the entire movie rides- and they come nowhere close topulling it off. There’s so many reasons for this that it’s hard tosummarize them. Rey’s shown to be pining for her family again(despite having moved past this in her character arc in The ForceAwakens, but Rian Johnson can’t keep shit consistent in his ownmovie, much less thesame fucking trilogy.) She’s angry at Kylo for killing his father,Han, whom she was adopting as a father figure herself (their firstchat takes place after Luke asks after Han and Rey accuses Kylo ofit, so this is expressly brought forward into TLJ.) So when Kylo ripsinto Rey over her parents; pointing out that they were white trashthat sold her into servitude for drinking money and never cared abouther, before telling her to kill her past, he’sonly reminding her that he had something she never did and alwayswanted (a loving family,) and that he fucking murdered saidfamily. There’s no wayRey could empathize with Kylo over this.

Butwe’re supposed to ignore this, and believe that Rey now feels someempathy for Kylo because she 1. saw him with his shirt off and 2.touched his hand and Sensed The Good In Him Through The Force.

Whata load of complete and utter fucking horseshit.

Thereare other arcs, and they all fall flat on their fucking faces aswell. For starters, Luke.Luke’s arc, especially, cannotbe insulated from continuity criticisms because he’s the mainfucking character of the Original Trilogy, andTLJ leans heavily onthat lineage for its setup. The climax of Luke’s character arc wasachieving the seemingly impossible - redeeminghis father, Darth Vader, who had fallen to evil decades ago andcommitted untold numbers of atrocities. Andin TLJ, Luke actually contemplates CHOPPINGHIS OWN NEPHEW’S FUCKING HEAD OFF becausehe “sees darkness in him.” The man who’s crowning, definingachievement was redeeming his Father from the dark side isconsidering NEPOTICIDEbecause the kid mightfall.

Evenif you ignore that, why Luke’sinsists that“the Jedi should end” is never explained, as he never says itoutright and never finishes a single lesson with Rey which issupposed to teach her why.Why does he extrapolate hisfailure to mean the entire galaxy isbetter off without them? His interactions with Rey accomplishnothing; he basically tells her to fuck off for a while, decides to“teach her,” promptly tells her she’s supor haxx0rz powerful likeKylo, watches her master lightsaber-ing because she knows how toswing a metal quarterstaff, and is then told by Yoda himself thatthere’s nothing in the ancient Jedi tomes Rey needs, because she’s sofucking special she knows it all already. Yoda fucking torchesthe ancient temple-tree-library to make his point that Luke’s always“staring at the horizon instead of at what’s in front of him” andthat he needs to focus on the here and now; implicitly saying thatRey was right, and he shouldhump his ass out there to “face down the First Order with a lasersword”…

…but instead of doing that, he literally phonesit in from half a galaxy away with The Force, puttinghimself in (almost) no danger, but fucking dies anyways,meaning he died as he lived; agrouchy old coward who never did face down his own apprentice andanswer for his mistakes. Luke’sarc makes no fucking sense, achievesnothing, and goes fucking nowhere.

Finnand Rose was portrayed as a budding relationship, except there wasn’ta single fucking hint of it being romantic till she kissed him at theend of the show after a pat speech about “saving what we love.”In the beginning of the movieshe tazes Finn (yes, the black man got tazed) for trying to skip townin an escape pod, which she found personally offensive because hersister had just died in the opening battle to defend The Resistance.At the end of the movie, Finn is willing to sacrifice his life todefend that same Resistance, his character having actually grown -and Rose rams him off-course before he can do so, despitehaving tazed him earlier in the movie for dishonoring hersister’s sacrifice to defend the exact same cause. Atbest, this means shewas only truly concerned with her personal loss, which would make hera self-centered, selfish cunt, willing to sacrifice the lives of manyothers (and potentially the freedom of the entire Galaxy) for her ownemotional needs. But it’s not portrayed as a selfish decision - it’sportrayed as the right one,which taps into an entire larger problem of its own I’ll touch onlater. It’s the same problemthat’s entirely responsible for crippling Poe’s character arc. Finnand Rose were simply dealt the coup de grace by it, as theirpreceding scenes together were sparse; involving them coming up witha plan to save the rebel fleet (seconds after Rose had tazed him,bro, and had no reason to do a 180 and start trusting him without anexplanation that he never did give,) a monologue about how shitRose’s life was and How Capitalism Is Bad on the casino planet, and abrief “well we’re fucked and by extension THE ENTIRE GALAXY but westuck it to the man, how cool,” and Rose has a moment where shesets an animal free and says that was superior to making baddieshurt, setting up her closing line later.

Andthat’s it. That’s fucking it. Comparethis to Princess Leia in the original trilogy. Her response to aStormtrooper walking into her cell - someone who she has every reasonto assume is there to take her to a torture session (as she wasclearly shown being tortured some minutes earlier in the movie,) isto comment wryly on his height. Andseconds after breaking out of the jail cell, she’s shouting orders atpeople, spraying the air with energy from a stolen blaster rifle, andin fact leading themout of the immediate danger (“Someone’s got to get us out ofhere!”) And during this entire sequence herrepartee and rivalry with Han Solo is already being established, the“excuse me Princess” cranked to the max. The friction that beginstheir relationship is Han butting heads with her before witnessingthat she’s dangerous,composed, and competent in emergency and combat situations. Notonly is their relationship developed during actionsequences of real consequence, as well as down-time chats, but italso takes three entire moviesto build to a climax. Comparedto that writing, Rey jumping on Kylo’s dick after three Skype callsand Rose giving one rusty fuckabout Finn are egregiously bad.If you criticize the OT andthink TLJ is superior, you have a lot toanswer for, right there.

However,Finn himself had potential - if only because his character was theleast tampered with, so one could assume his character developmentfrom TFA was intact, and TLJ’s script hinted gently in support of itand never against it. He started TFA just wanting to run like abitch, and by the end had come to care, at least, about defendingRey. He was trying to hare off after Rey in the beginning of TLJ, andby the end had committed fully to a cause, the opposite cause of theone he’d abandoned at the opening of TFA. It’snever really covered why hegrows like this - at the very beginning he goes from wanting to legit to forming a plan with Rose to save the fleet instantly. He wastalking his way out of being shoved in the brig at the time, but henever takes a subsequent option to duck out; in the space of a fewseconds he’s committed himself to a dangerous recon mission that willend with infiltrating an enemy capital ship withapparently no qualms whatsoever. If this was ever covered indialogue, it was so brief I completely missed it - and this isprobably why his arc “worked” the best; it wasn’t the focus, so Ididn’t care much about how it happened… plus, by the end, Finn isthe only halfway relatable character at all, beating Rose by alandslide because we have awhole movie of development for him (TFA) as opposed to one briefboo-hoo monologue from Rose (oh and her sister died boohoo.) He’s nota fucking Mary Sue like Rey, he’s not entirely certain about his rolein things, and so at the end, when he makes the decision tosuicide-run the Very Big Gun, there’s actually some investment andaudience-character empathy there. Finn,alone, is the only character we can empathizewith.

Andthen fucking Rose putson a stellar display of Asian Driving Skills and robshim of his moment,because-

EVERYBODY WITHA PENIS IN THIS MOVIE IS ALWAYS WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING ALWAYS,BECAUSE FUCK MEN

Thisis not an exaggeration. In my priorcomments I mentioned that just because everyone saidthis was the case didn’t mean Ibelieved it, because I’ve seen the CHUDs hurl the same complaints atobjectively excellent movies (the latest Mad Max, forinstance,) and that’s before theGamer/pol/Gate crowd made counter-bitching at the SJW bitching apastimefor casual amusement. I wasexpecting some token casting, some throwaway GRRL POWER lines, etc.

Instead,I got the most misandrist movie I have ever seen.

It’snot just a matter ofwriting every male character to be stupid and every female characterto be smart - the laws of probability themselves bendover backwards to make everything a woman does the right choice, andeverything a man does the wrong one… except even when the Universedoesn’t do that, theman gets his ass chewed out anyways for making the rightcall.

Butthat came later. My first exposure to the misandry came in the formof Admiral Holdo, a purple-haired, ballgown-clad fleet Admiral wholooked like she walked out of Tumblr SJW Central Casting. But despiteThe Internet having named this character as egregiously bad manytimes, nothing, nothing prepared me for the actualperformance.

LauraDern deliberately portrays Holdo as a venomous, imperiousbully.

Onehas to actually see the performance to appreciate howdeliberate and well-done it is. Laura Dern crosses her arms, doesn’tface the person she’s addressing, literally looks down her nose whenshe does, and even does that particular kind of sneer whereone bites their lower lip and looks at someone like they’re dogshit.Laura Dern’s delivery perfectly matches the scripted lines - sheresponds to a straightforward request for information from Daemon Poeby insulting him, then attacking him- “My plan? Like yourplan which destroyed all our bombers?” She then proceeds to attackhis manhood, calling him a stupid little gung-ho flyboy, and advisinghim to “stick to his post and follow my orders” with the exactsneering tone of someone saying “sit down and be a good littleboy.” The soft-spoken volume of the delivery just drives it home -it’s the “oh, honey” condescending shitpost meme made manifestand played entirely straight.

Theworst part of this performance is that Hold is supposed tobe an Admiral, a military officer. Poe eve drops a line about herbeing the hero of such and such battle to establish that she’ssupposedly respected and famous - and then she proceeds to shredthat impression by acting like anything but a militaryofficer. Captain Janeway on Star Trek: Voyager wasn’t verynice - in fact, she could be an outright rude asshole - but shealways sounded like a Captain when Kate Mulgrew delivered herlines. She didn’t deliberately humiliate or insult people by saying“sit down like a good little boy;” she’d say “I’m the Captain,get the fuck off my bridge before I brig your ass forinsubordination.” That’s how the military works; there is achain of command, and those who challenge it are reminded thatthey’re pissing on God’s leg, and God does not fuck around. Todeliberately portray Holdo as literal stereotype of a “nastywoman” suggests that Rian Johnson actually thinks this is what a“strong woman” should look like. And in fact, Laura Dern saidthis explicitly:

Speaking about her character’sstylish-yet-firm leadership, Dern told VanityFair: “[Rian is] saying something that’s been atrue challenge in feminism. Are we going to lead and be who we are aswomen in our femininity? Or are we going to dress up in a boy’sclothes to do the boy’s job? I think we’re waking up to what wewant feminism to look like.”

So apparently CaptainJaneway wasn’t a real woman, because women simply can’t beauthoritative and direct, and if they are, they’re just playing asthose toxic men. From the director’s point of view, a “strongwoman” is a viscous, venomous bully who replies to peoplerequesting information by insulting, mocking, humiliating andsneering at them instead of firmly asserting their lawful authorityand citing their own reputation for competence.

Rian Johnson bothdirected and wrote the movie, so in this one scene, everythinghe believes is coming out - the epitome of an entire plot ruledby the iron fist of misandrist horseshit. The scene itself isan example. The movie opens with the Resistance evacuating a planetas the First Order fleet (led by a massive dreadnought with an“autocannon”) closes in. Poe Dameron, the aforementioned “flyboy”attacks and destroys the dreadnought, against Leia’s orders, just asit is explicitly shown to be locking its Big Scary Gun ontoLeia’s command cruiser (there’s even a cut to Leia’s face toemphasize the point.) There’s nothing to suggest that Leia’s cruiserwould’ve gone to lightspeed before then if not for Poe’s attack;despite him landing in a hurry, we know X-Wings arehyperspace-capable themselves (within this movie, in fact, as we’reshown an X-Wing underwater on Luke’s island; presumably his ridethere,) and as a Captain and, apparently, the Resistance’s fieldcommander, Poe would know the rally point the Resistance isevacuating to.

The movie itselfshows that Poe saved the command cruiser, and with it, the entirecommand staff of the Resistance - and for this he is first demoted byLeia for disobeying orders, and then viciously insulted by Holdo whenhe simply asks her for information. When the First Order follow theResistance through hyperspace with some newly-invented trackingdevice, Kylo Ren and his fellow Spess Fighters zoom in and blow upthe cruiser’s launch bay with torpedo-like missiles… and are thenimmediately ordered to retreat because the capital ships “can’tcover them that far away.” This makes absolutely no fuckingsense, as in the battle scene immediately prior, Poe attackedthe dreadnought to take out its “surface cannons” to clear theway for the Resistance’s bomber ships to attack, and the captain ofsaid ship explicitly says that those guns can’t hit fightersand that they should have their own fighters out there - “fiveminutes ago,” no less, as if lampshading the plot convenientincompetence makes it okay. And since two torpedo-like missilesutterly destroy the command cruiser’s launch bay, you can surmise theFirst Order doesn’t require huge, plodding, and stupidly vulnerable“bombers” as the Resistance used to take out the dreadnought.Said dreadnought didn’t have any visible shield protection during thefirst battle; (especially obvious because we’re later shown capitalship fire hitting the shielding of the command cruiser with verydistinctive special effects,) and in fact the command cruiserexplicitly “focuses its shields aft” to fend off thepursuers capital-class weaponry, just to create the opening for Kyloto nuke the hangar bay (and blast Leia into space as well.) Thereis absolutely no fucking reason the First Order fighter-bomberscouldn’t have finished off the command cruiser right then and there,but we’re simply shown Kylo’swingmen being shot down (by what, we never see,) as he’s told “theycan’t cover him out there” as an excuse. The movieviolates its own rules just to take away Poe’s X-Wing and put Holdoin charge.

Andthis is just the fucking beginningof the Universe itselfbending over backwards to invalidate everythinganyone with a penisdoes. Poe is the one that authorizes Finn and Rose’s sidequest tofind a “master codebreaker” at the Gold Saucer (to sneak on thebad guy’s ship to disable their tracker so the fleet can escape,) buttheir plan fails because Fuck Anyone With A Penis. But that’s not theoffensive part. Earlier, Poe sees Holdo’s fueling the transports, andangrily points out that said transports will be sitting ducks for theenemy’s guns. He asks Holdo againfor a plan, and shefeeds him some fucking bullshit non-answer about “hope being aspark that lights a fire.” With the entireResistance Fleet nowdown to one cruiser (outof three starting ships), Poe intelligently determines that Holdo isfucking useless and stages a mutiny so he can see his own planthrough. Holdo defeats her captors by not getting shot the moment shetwitches and winning a point-blank firefight with much younger combattroops because fuck you. Nowback in command, she sees off Leia (just awake after her impromptuspace-walk) and on thetransports, Leia tells Poe that “Holdo knows the First Order won’tbe scanning for small ships like this.”

Yes.That’s the explanation. Poe Dameron - the fleet’s combat commanderand fighter pilot, someone who’s fucking job isto understand the capabilities of the ships in their fleet - didn’tknow this, but Admiral Holdo did because she has a vagina andtherefore is perfect. They’re boarding the transports to “slipaway” to another planet - visiblethrough the fucking window - andyet the First Order - WHOWATCHED THESE PEOPLE EVACUATE THE LAST PLANET ON THESE TRANSPORTS -“won’t know to lookfor small ships like these.”

Butwait - it gets worse. Finn and Rose’s mission failed, not becausethey were simply caught by security or because they were attemptingsomething that Ben Kenobi, an experienced Jedi knight had to give hislife to accomplish in Ep. 4 whenthe enemy was letting them go, butbecause a traitor betrayed them, who also, conveniently, tells thefirst order about the transports, so they’re revealed by a“decloaking scan” (which implies the transports have cloakingdevices; i.e. an inherent designed ability of the vessels, not just asmaller sensor signature inherent to their size, ergo something POEDEFINITELY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN ABOUT.) TheFirst Order starts blasting transports out of the sky, and of coursethis is all Poe’s fault.

Andthen there’s the Robbing of Finn. Admiral Holdo kamikazes the commandcruiser into the First Order fleet with the hyperdrive (itself afucking massive, retarded plot hole to end all plot holes), thussacrificing herself to Save The Resistance. And yet when Finnattempts to do THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING not20 minutes later in the movie; a kamikaze self-sacrifice to save theentire Resistance, Rose rams into him to stop because “we shouldsave what we love instead of destroy what we hate.” This line isdelivered as the Big Gun blows up the base’s doors, thus sealing theResistance’s Fate… but wait! They all escape through a back doorbecause Rey shows up just in time to use her never-trained,never-practiced Force powers to clear a rockslide for them. Rose hadno way of knowing this would happen; meaning her ramming of Finn was,as far as she knew, condemning everyoneto death and her andFinn, at best, tocapture and execution by the First Order. But as usual, the Plotitself bends over backwards to make her choice the correct one, andFinns the wrong one.

Shortlyafter this, Poe “completes his character arc” by acting on whatLeia told him (“you have to run not fight sometimes”) andparroting that fucking arrogant bully bitch Holdo’s fortune-cookieAesop about sparks lighting fires, finally acknowledging the WisdomOf The Females, despite everychoice he made in this movie beingthe objectively correct ones, given the knowledge that he as acharacter possessed.

Andwe haven’t even talked about Rey yet.

Ohmy fucking god, Rey.

Reyis the biggest fucking Mary Sue I have ever seen. This,like every other blunt statement in this piece, is not anexaggeration, as much as it saddens me. Rey can fail at nothingshe attempts. Rey has towork for absolutely nothing she gains. Rey has as much raw power asKylo, at least (by Luke’s own judgment,)and she is moreskilled than he is at lightsaber fighting as evidenced by her savingKylo afew times during the throne room fight. This,despite having notraining in the weapon(which has no mass and can lop off her limbs easily, unlike the metalquarterstaff she’s experienced with) compared to Kylo, who trainedunder Luke himself foryears before moving on to whoever the fuck Snoke was supposed to be.Rey can just touch Kylo’shand and “see his future” isn’t all dark, when the much moreexperienced Luke did the same and only saw darkness. Rey can temptKylo to betray his master and move towards the light after threefucking awkward Skype calls. WhenLuke ignored his master and left in the middle of his training torescue his friends, he got his fucking ass kicked, his handcut off, and his lightsaber lost. WhenRey does the exact same thing, SHE BEATS LUKE MOTHERFUCKINGSKYWALKER IN A MELEE FIGHT, FLIES OFF INTO SPACE, AND SUCCEEDS ATTURNING EDGELORD MCSITHBOI AT LEAST HALFWAY AND SAVES THE ENTIRERESISTANCE BY LEVITATING A WHOLE FUCKING ROCKSLIDE WITH NO TRAINING,WHEN LUKE, WHO WAS ACTIVELY BEING TRAINED, STRUGGLED TO MERELY STACKONE ROCK ON ANOTHER AND COULDN’T HOIST AN X-WING THAT WEIGHED LESSTHAN THAT WHOLE ROCKSLIDE PUT TOGETHER.

Reyis a stupid boring nothing, who’s emotions and struggles I can’t finda single fuck to give about because she’s never in any realdanger, never has to work for anything she gets, and never developsas a person at all. I didn’t criticize her character arc because shenot only lacks one, she’s arguably not even a character at all -there’s seemingly no limit to her abilities, no flaws or pitfalls forher character, since everything she does turns out to be the rightcall (sound familiar?) and only the barest suggestion of whatpersonal goals she seeks (and those aren’t sold one fucking bit bythe story development.) For all effects and purposes Rey is a walkingavatar of the Plot itself, or as Rian seems to call it, The Force.

FuckRey and the bantha she rode in on.

THE PLOT IS THE MOSTNONSENSICAL, LAZY PILE OF FUCKING SHIT EVER PUT TO PAPER BY MORTALMAN

Muchof the plot’s problems originate from what I described above; thevery rules of the universe bending over backwards to serve RianJohnson’s twisted misandrist worldview. But they don’t stop there,by a fucking long shot.

Muchhate has been thrown at those “bombers” in the movie’s opening,but as I said before, TLJ cannot stand on its own even in relationto itself. Ignoring all of pre-existing Star Wars canon, eventhings belonging to the “new movies” like Rogue One, within TLJitself, fighter-bombers are shown delivering grievous damage to acapital ship when Kylo’s wingmen blow the shit out of Leia’s bridge,using torpedo-like missiles that can strike at a distance, launchedfrom fast, maneuverable craft. Said cruiser’s bridge was explicitlyunshielded at the time, since its shields were “focused aft��� tofend off turbolaser fire - something that’s shown with distinctivespecial effects that were totally absent when Poe was blasting lasercannons off the First Order Dreadnought in the beginning (ergo, itwas unshielded for some reason.) So the movie itself has shownthat unshielded targets can get the shit blown out of them byfighter-bombers firing torpedoes and that the dreadnaught wasunshielded.

Ionly mention this because it really pissed me off personally, andbecause it showcases Rian Johnson’s dogshit sense of drama andaesthetics, as he had a hardon for “WWII bombers” and apparentlythought it’d make for a better, tenser combat scene than Y-Wingsweaving and dodging through AA fire and enemy fighters like VT-8making their courageous, doomed run at the Kido Butai atMidway. The actual plot itself doesn’t have “holes,” asthat implies an otherwise cohesive structure with missing bits. Theplot is 90% holes and 10% substance, a sieve trying to hold meaning.

Theentire movie’s plot is set up by a “low speed chase,” theResistance fleet fleeing from the First Order’s fleet at sublightvelocities, because the First Order is using a “hyperspace tracker”that’ll allow them to chase the Resistance at FTL anyways. TheResistance’s cruisers are faster, which allows them to pull out oflethal range of their enemies, but - as a First Order officer says -“they’re faster and lighter but they can’t get away from us.”

Thismakes no fucking sense. If they’re faster - even by a smidgen -they’re faster. If they can pull out of laser cannon range tostart with, they can keep pulling out of range. They mightsimply maintain range once clear, to save fuel (because ships needfuel and they’re low, of course - something never, ever mentionedbefore in any Star Wars film ever,) but this makes no sense when youconsider that the objective of Admiral Holdo (which she won’t tell tofucking anyone) is to reach a planet with an old Rebel base with atransmitter powerful enough to “contact our allies in the Outer Rimand call for help.” In which case it’d make sense to haul ass forsaid planet, so they have some time to call for help and wait for itsarrival without the First Order launching a ground assault almost assoon as they land, right?

Butwait! Rey delivers herself to the First Order’s flagship via zippingin from Hyperspace with the Millennium Falcon, very close - beggingthe question of why the First Order (apparently not low on fuel)can’t use Hyperspace themselves to zip ahead of the Resistance fleet(even if they’ve got to bounce to a neighboring system due tominimum-range reasons) and cut them off, or just do a direct jump tocatch up. Worse, Finn and Rey take a hyperspace-capable shuttle toCasino World to execute their convoluted plan, which begs thequestion - why didn’t Holdo order an engineering team onto theshuttle and send it ahead to the old Rebel base? HOW MANY FUCKINGPEOPLE DOES IT TAKE TO WARM UP A REACTOR, BLOW THE DUST OFF A CONSOLEAND PLACE A FUCKING COLLECT CALL?

Thesecomplete failures of intellect - yes, even the infinitely stupidhyperspace kamikaze thing - all have one thing in common: they orientaround plans and facts that aren’t revealed to us till the lastminute, so we won’t notice these problems. It’s also because RianJohnson only cared about “subverting expectations” and provingthat his super special women were so clever and right all along, sohe clearly pulled plot elements out of his ass as he deemed themconvenient.

Ifyou’re one of my Twitter followers who usually tunes in for my vagueranting about defense-related matters, some necessary context isneeded: I’ve written literally thousands of pages worth of “quest”fiction; where I write anywhere from a few paragraphs to a few pagesof fiction, then have my audience vote on what the main characterdoes next - and the content itself is anime fanfiction. And Iam dead serious when I say that, at my worst, when Iwas pulling shit out of my ass on the spot, writing almost inreal-time and posting updates without stopping to proofread or editat all, I never did anything this fucking lazy. At myworst - writing that was so awful I wouldn’t wipe Assad’sass with it - I put more effort into my plot and consistency thanRian Johnson did with his titanic budget and multi-billion dollarstewardship of a beloved brand and franchise.

Andthat’s why I don’t find the hyperspace kamikaze moment offensive onits own merits. It’s horrific, yes - it invalidates space combat inthe entire setting, as well as begging questions specific to themovie (why didn’t Holdo use it outright, for instance?) but thesearen’t any worse than the numerous other stupidities that belabor theplot. What makes the hyperspace thing stand out to me is the attemptto excuse it - two throwaway exchanges. A First Order bridgeofficer notes that Holdo’s cruiser is spinning up its FTL drive, andthe commander dismisses it as an attempted diversion to lead themaway from the transports they’re potting like ducks. This isapparently the excuse for why Holdo didn’t do it earlier - she neededa distraction to allow time to turn. Nevermind that the other twoships with them - that ran out of fuel and were destroyed, afterevacuating their crew to the command cruiser - could’ve providedthis option hours earlier. The two lines make it clear that RianJohnson was aware of this plot hole, and he tries to paper it overwith two brief dialogue lines, as if that’ll excuse everything.

Theentire fucking movie is riddled with lines like this; barebreaths that have to carry the entire movie’s fucking plot setup. Reymentions to Luke that the First Order will “control all the majorsystems within weeks” at the beginning. The Order officer’s singleline that explains the Low Speed Chase the entire movie revolvesaround. Leia’s offhand mention of the old base with the Transmitterof Sufficient Power to reach Their Allies In The Outer Rim. Etc. TLCis demonstrably lacking “downtime” as a movie - think Luke, Hanand Leia chatting in the base on Hoth (“laugh it up, furball,”)the briefing in Episode 4 laying out the Death Star attack, etc.Fiction writing calls it pacing, and scriptwriting calls this “storybeats;” you need the right tempo of fast and slow to properly pacea movie. TLJ never slows down long enough to fucking explainitself, compared to the earlier movies - and the OT didn’t domuch of that to begin with! But it did more than enough to ground theentire story in a larger framework of what the situation was, andwhy the character’s actions mattered. We don’t get that in TLJ.Even the fucking opening scroll narration is inferior in termsof information density. It’s almost like there isn’t a plotworth a damn, just whatever horseshit excuse Rian Johnson squeezesout of his anus next, and if the movie stops cramming glossy CGI andaction figure product placement down your throat for five fuckingseconds, you’ll probably catch on.

Thekorn kernel atop this turd sundae was the ending - with the entirefucking Resistance reduced to maybe a dozen or so personnel - andnone of the command staff, save Leia - on board the MillenniumFalcon, which is only a light freighter, capacity-wise. The “outerrim allies” never show, so this is the entirety of the Resistanceforces. They have no combat fleet, no combat personnel, nobases, no resources, no guns, no ammo, no snub fighters, nothing buta single light freighter and their own limp dicks.

Butthe end of the movie shows them flying around handing out secretResistance rings to force-sensitive kids, as if cereal-box decoderrings are enough to overthrow a vast evil galactic empire. Your AR-15can’t stop a government with tanks and fighter planes, but RianJohnson expects us to believe that the ability to levitate rocks andplace intergalactic Skype calls without paying ComStar can overthrowSpace Nazis.

RianJohnson couldn’t write his way out of a Naruto fan forum.

THIS MOVIE IS AMORALLY REPREHENSIBLE SHITPILE THAT NORMALIZES LIES ABOUT ABUSIVEBEHAVIOR BY MALES TOWARDS FEMALES IN ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

That’sright. I said it.

Thismovie is actively harmful and insulting to women and girls.

Theblatant misandry is bad enough, but the messages it teaches girls areeven worse, the chief one being the normalization of Kylo Ren,the mass-murderer and fratricide “bad boy,” as someone who’s“good, deep down,” If Only The Right Woman Could Cure Him. Thisis a misguided fantasy that dates back to Wuthering Heights, and wasrecently resurrected by Twilight, the fantasy of “saving” a manwho’s violent, misogynistic and cruel. Fantasies aren’t realistic bydefinition, and they all feature in fiction because they’ve an appealto a certain audience - what makes them good or bad is the damagethey do to readers in real life who don’t discern the differencebetween fiction and reality until their misunderstanding leads theminto serious harm. The classic “beauty and the beast” theme of“taming” a  “bad boy” stands chief among the offenders inthis category - but don’t ask me, just sample what countless others have written on the topic. Rey going from angry, grief-stricken accusations ofKylo the Fratricide to longing for his lightsaber after three briefskype calls, a look at his Rock Hard Abs and touching his hand once?It’s textbook Beauty And The Beast bullshit, and apoorly-written example, at that.

Thisis in addition to Rian’s explicit view that - as elucidated byHoldo’s own actress - a venomous, sneering bully is what aStrong Female Leader looks like; reinforcedby how the plot bends over backwards to portray Holdo as a hero. Inretrospect, the liberties taken to put Leia into a coma for most ofthe movie was probably done because Carrie Fisher just couldn’t actthe role of a bullying bitch, and that’s the character Rian Johnsonwanted to showcase as a feminist icon. Again, quoting Holdo’sactress, “[Rian is] saying something that’s been atrue challenge in feminism. Are we going to lead and be who we are aswomen in our femininity? Or are we going to dress up in a boy’sclothes to do the boy’s job?” The message here isn’t that girlscan be hot-shot fighter pilots or gunslinging heroes too - it’s thatmales are toxic, testosterone-driven fools and Real Women are “womenin their femininity.” Not “youcan be anything you want to be” but “feminimity is good andmasculinity is smelly dumb mansplaining scum.” Thisis fucked in the head, andI challenge anyone- especiallythose who recommended I watch this movie - to deny the charge Ijust leveled.

Andfinally, there’s the actions of Rian Johnson himself, the misandristfuckhead who wrote this pile of shit. He was building off the workand script of JJ Abrams, including all the character development that went into it - and now we can see what he decided to do with it.Rian didn’t just fail to make a movie - he actively threw away anopportunity to write a script with realprogressivesensibilities, substituted cheap “subversions” instead, and thenjerked off on Twitter about how fucking woke and progressive he is toget all the fawning accolades anyways.

RIAN JOHNSONPISSED AWAY THE MUCH BETTER STORY SET UP BY JJ ABRAMS IN THE FORCEAWAKENS, AND STILL HAS THE FUCKING GALL TO ACT LIKE HE DIDN’T

I’vebeen told - in various articles and in person - that TLJ achievesbrilliant subversion of expectations and fights against tired oldtropes that reinforce social status norms by bucking the Chosen Onewith Significant Bloodlines thing, most notably with Rey’s parentagerevealed to be of no consequence and Kylo’s focus on “killing thepast” and rejecting moral binaries to forge his own path.

So,on that note, let’s talk about Finn.

Finnwas a brilliant character in concept, the kind I often try to write -a common man, a faceless member of the rank-and-file who finds thecourage to step out of line, think for himself, and eventuallybecomes a hero in his own right. The opening of TFA, with the bloodyhandprint on Finn’s helmet serving to identify him and give a “faceto the faceless,” was a brilliant bit of visual storytelling, andFinn himself has a difficult and dangerous journey as a character.He’s limited in his abilities - he can’t pilot a ship, for instance -and for the longest time his only desire is to run as far away fromthe First Order as he possibly can, to live his own life in peace. Bythe end of TFA, he’s grievously wounded fighting an opponent he knowsdamn well outmatches him, all to defend the life of his new - andonly - friend, Rey. Goinginto TLJ, Finn is poised both as Rey’s most probable love interestand as a walkingrefutation of the Chosen Heroes trope; having gone from randomfaceless goon to the man who was responsible for destroying the DeathST- I mean Starkiller Base. Heknew the way into and out ofsaid base because he used to be on the sanitation detail, aquirk that makes perfect sense andemphasizes how the “little people” in inglamorousjobs often know cruciallittle details like that (like the back door the smokers use.)

Andwhat did Rian Johnson do with this setup?

Finnwakes up and is immediately used for comic relief, smacking his headon the medical scanner, then staggering around in a bacta suitleaking fluid everywhere. Thenhe tries to hare off after Rey, only to get tazed for trying to steala vehicle. Then he’squickly shuffled off to the side with Rose while Rey is suddenly, andwith very poor setup and justification, set up with Kylo and hisneon-white abs as her love interest.

Is now a goodtime to remind you that Finn is black? Yes,the black man gets 1. played for comic relief, 2. don’t tazeme bro, 3. shuffled offscreen while Rey is set up with a white boy toavoid any possibility of an interracial romance. Andall that’s in additiontoFinn’s noble sacrifice being portrayed as bad and wrong, while MightyWhitey Kami-Kaze Holdo is made out as a huge hero for the exactsame act.

Comparewhat Rian Johnson did with what he couldhave done, and thentry to tell me thismovie had any redeemingthemes, arcs, or execution. I fucking dareyou.

AVALON HAS FUCKINGFALLEN

TheLast Jedi is a towering monument to the rot at the heart of ourartistic society. The Force Awakens was a shameless regurgitationdesigned by a soulless corporation to bilk our nostalgic childhoodmemories for every penny we were worth, but at least it had acompetent writer/director at the helm that had some pride in hiswork. By contrast, The Last Jedi had that same greedy, scum-suckingcorporate machine at the helm and a writer-director thatepitomizes the creature that now infests Hollywood:  an arrogant, self-congratulatory prick concerned onlywith vigorously stroking off his fellow wealthy cultural elites, sothey may take smug satisfaction in their moral superiority over theproles. Therecent spate ofself-described “male feminists” who’vebeen revealed to use their professed politics as cover to prey onwomen illustrate the forces at work here - if one utters theApproved Doctrine, everything else can be overlooked and forgiven.Portray Women as Good, Men as Bad and with a few cheap shots atCapitalism in the middle, and you can get away with not writing aplot at all, lazy and poorly-storyboarded CGI scenes that pushmerchandise, and even reducing a black man to comedic relief. This iswhat our corporate-run entertainment industry now rewards - to thetune of tens of millions of dollars - and what countlessleft-wing culture-war publications vigorously and viciously defendwith endless column inches of simpering praise and even asinineconspiracy theories about the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy “gaming”Rotten Tomatoes user review scores to cover up how much audienceshated this fucking trash.

Asa writer, I happen to believe that Art means something. It matters.It nourishes the soul and teaches us lessons about why to liveour lives, not just how. Mankind has been telling stories forthousands of years before anyone figured out how to write them down,much less make a profit off them. As a species we are wired to thinknarratively, which is why stories have power - never a righteouskingdom nor a vile dictatorship has existed that didn’t invest greateffort in fashioning myths and legends to justify and strengthen itslegitimacy with the people. Stories can help, and they can even harm.

Storiesare serious fucking business. And Rian Johnson’s betrayal anddesecration of his art and craft is emblematic of what the very, verybig, wealthy and powerful entertainment business thinks isacceptable. The business of multimillionare serial rapists that arealso major political donors, the business of complicit yes-men actorsthat routinely use their fame, wealth, and cultural influence to tipthe scales of our national political debate - that business.

Ifyou’re like me; if you dream of telling stories that matter,stories that change peoples lives and give them hope as other’sstories have done for you - prepare for dark times ahead. It’s clearnow that Avalon has fallen; that the existing establishment is toothoroughly corrupted to serve society any useful purpose. We’ll haveto use the internet, vanity presses and small websites - as long asAmazon, Google, and the other West-coast headquartered monopoliesallow us them, that is - and do the best we can. Whatever Hollywoodin particular and the entertainment industry in general is puttingout anymore, it sure as hell isn’t art, in any sense ofthe word you might imagine. The real artists will have to starve,scrape, beg, and struggle - but what they make will be worthwatching, instead of an affront to common sense and common decency.Call them Rebels, or perhaps the Resistance - just don’t callthem surprising, because I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO.

[gffa]

I’ve quoted a lot from this book, it’s one I think is really worth reading as it has a lot of overviews of Star Wars through the lens of psychology and this interpretation of Anakin is one I thought was really interesting, as someone driven by fear rather than by evil.  That it doesn’t excuse that his actions are evil, nor excuse that he could have applied the mindfulness teachings he was given and didn’t, but that he’s far more complicated in what actually drives him, all that scared little boy that he could never move past, not with Sidious there sabotaging every step of the way. Anakin is still responsible for Anakin’s choices, but it’s so, so much more complicated than that!

The most common answer to my question is, “Darth Vader is evil and the Jedi are good.” But I argue the point that Darth Vader really isn’t evil. His actions are clearly bad and should be characterized as evil, but those actions are motivated by something else. He is driven by a magnified emotion we all experience to one  degree or another. Darth Vader is motivated by anxiety. Therefore, the correct answer to my question about the difference between the Jedi and Vader is where they place their sense of control. Vader attempts to control everything external to him, whereas the Jedi strive to demonstrate self-control and allow for free will. 

and

More failures ensue, and Anakin focuses on them, building further on his increasing lack of control. Instead of looking inward, focusing on his emotions, and being mindful of the moment and his purpose, he externalizes and emotionally reacts with little thought to his underlying fears and anxiety. Over and over he runs into variables he cannot control, and this plants more seeds of anxiety, doubt, and fear.

Anxiety Disorder’s Need for Imperial Control: Was Darth Vader Evil or Scared? Frank Gaskill

“Father-son myths attracted huge audiences in the 1970s and ’80s. Men feared being like their fathers, but they wanted desperately to bond with them even if they could never really please them enough to feel anointed.” —psychiatrist Frank Pittman “Join me and we can end this destructive conflict….” —Darth Vader to his son Luke

Viewing Star Wars for the first time was and is for many people a life-changing experience. Princess Leia’s ship comes into view with Tatooine in the distance as Darth Vader’s Star Destroyer closes in. This opening sequence is the iconic memory from Lucas’s classic film that we all share. Despite the power of the opening scene, the image that held me captive as an eight-year-old seeing Star Wars for the first time was the moment when Darth Vader steps through the smoking air lock his troopers blasted open. With his black cape flowing about him, Vader stands to survey the damage in the smoke-filled corridor. Without a word, his mere presence bleeds ultimate power and fear. The only sound we hear is his slow, deep breathing. I knew I liked Vader. Throughout the next 40+ years of viewing the Star Wars films, I knew Vader was similar to me, but I was unclear initially how that could be. He didn’t feel like a villain to be feared and at times seemed almost aspirational in his goal of galactic stability and peace. As the films progressed, he became more and more human. As a little boy, I couldn’t understand what I was sensing about Vader. As my dad and I left the theater that night in May 1977, he held my hand. Squeezing it, he looked down at me and said, “You know, that Darth Vader was pretty cool.” I looked into his eyes and agreed. Vader was cool. The 54 Darth Vader toys and figures inhabiting my office are a testament to that coolness. But how could a murdering, planet-destroying, princess-torturing (his daughter, I might add) machine of a man be cool? Cool is probably not the right word, but more important, I don’t believe Darth Vader was evil. Darth Vader wasn’t a bad guy. He was just very scared.

This Present Unconscious Menace Living under Imperial rule has to be stressful. Freedoms are being undermined, the Senate is dissolved, the existential threat of the Death Star is unleashed, and the knowledge that all the Jedi have been killed or expelled offers little to no hope. The tiny rebellion has little chance against the Imperial Starfleet or the regional governors who hold planets captive on the basis of fear. Other threats are ever present from the Hutts, bounty hunters, slavery, and bribery. Stress is omnipresent under the Empire. As Ben Kenobi tells Luke, there had been a sense of safety and hope when the Jedi were considered “the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic, before the dark times … before the Empire.” In the present day, we may not be living under an empire, but we could be living under another, more sinister menace that is walking among us every day. In my private practice as a psychologist, I see a lot of scared kids and parents. More accurately, I serve the needs of a lot of anxious people. As a society, we are working harder in our jobs now than at any other time in history. Levels of anxiety are the highest ever reported. Individuals are reporting 40 percent more stress, worry, and panic now than they did in the 1950s. With parents under such intensive pressure and stress, the lives of children are similarly under mounting pressure. Living in such conditions on an ongoing basis raises levels of anxiety to pathological levels. Our innate fight-flight-freeze responses tend to engage in situations in which these responses are not needed. When we lived in caves and jungles, fight-or-flight responses served us well and kept us alive. However, exaggerated or uncontrolled responses to anxiety can have dire consequences in those who have limited awareness of how fear can affect them personally in regard to anger outbursts and rash decision-making. In Star Wars, the Sith are well versed in anger as this emotion is what they use to channel the Force. A deeper human emotion fuels the anger of the Sith. Emotions need to be addressed because without such attention, the dark side awaits. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is an approach to psychological treatment that alters thinking patterns and/or behaviors that cause problems in people’s lives. CBT is used in an attempt to reduce anxiety-based negative thoughts and behaviors that interfere with successful living. CBT is the state-of-the-art tool for anxiety reduction. Anxiety can be paralyzing. It can make you feel that you are under an existential threat, but CBT can help. Before beginning CBT sessions, my most frequently used tool is an introduction to the true nature of Darth Vader. As he is one of the best-known characters in cinematic history, the majority of my clients, even little five-year-olds, have a good understanding of his story. My first session with anxious and fearful kids begins with a foundational question: “There is only one difference between the Jedi and Darth Vader. What is it?” The most common answer to my question is, “Darth Vader is evil and the Jedi are good.” But I argue the point that Darth Vader really isn’t evil. His actions are clearly bad and should be characterized as evil, but those actions are motivated by something else. He is driven by a magnified emotion we all experience to one degree or another. Darth Vader is motivated by anxiety. Therefore, the correct answer to my question about the difference between the Jedi and Vader is where they place their sense of control. Vader attempts to control everything external to him, whereas the Jedi strive to demonstrate self-control and allow for free will. Darth Vader wants peace and justice throughout the galaxy. He aspires to an admirable goal for sure. Vader so much desires and believes in a peaceful galactic future that he implores his son to join him on his quest and to destroy the Emperor. Vader actually wants the same goal as the Jedi, but he pursues that goal in a manner that leads him down a frustrating, failure-ridden, and dark path. Vader’s Childhood: Tell Me About Your Mother … Experiencing so many early life stressors must be very hard on young Anakin. His time on Tatooine probably reinforces within him a deep-seated sense that he is controlled by life circumstances. His ultimate unconscious conclusion could be that he has little control over his own destiny, and this may reinforce his desire to seek control of his own destiny. Control of future events drives him. In its response to being controlled by so many factors, Anakin’s nature is to attempt to control as much as possible, even things far outside his ability to control. When under stress, people tend to seek ways of gaining control, sometimes even using magical thinking. Before he leaves his mother to train as a Jedi, we get a clear glimpse into Anakin’s heart as he says, “I will come back and free you … I promise.” Although the sentiment is beautiful, we are able to see the pressure this 10-year-old child places on himself. No child should feel that he is responsible for saving his parent. Perfectionism has been described as a kind of neurosis that pushes someone to achieve severe and exacting goals. A subtype of perfectionism in children has been identified as “pervasive perfectionism.” Such individuals are very well organized and tend to set incredibly high personal standards. However, these individuals often react strongly and very negatively to mistakes in a way that results in anger outbursts or meltdowns. Pervasively perfectionistic children tend to have parents who have high expectations of them or are often very critical (think about the Emperor as Anakin’s father figure with unreasonably high expectations). Having such a perfectionist manner of thinking leaves a person with unavoidable failure as nobody can be perfect, not even one who expected to bring balance to the Force. Having repeated experiences of failure plus never feeling a sense of perfect completion can leave one feeling defeated, shameful, and guilty. Individuals who tend toward perfection often develop a dichotomous way of thinking that is very moralistic. Anakin, as he turns to the dark side, surmises his dichotomous manner of thinking by stating, “If you’re not with me, then you are my enemy.” Obi-Wan responds to the Sith way of thinking by stating, “Only a Sith deals in absolutes.” The Story of Anxiety and Fear in Vader’s Life Anxiety is a powerful force, one required for survival. Anxiety is a more modern term for a base emotion we know as fear. Fear affects all the parts of our brains but especially the limbic system and a little area called the amygdala. When researchers electrically stimulate the amygdala, individuals can immediately experience a fear response and demonstrate all the symptoms of fear, including sweating and a rapid heart rate. Human beings need this fear response especially when living in caves with lions, tigers, and bears as their adversaries. With the fear response, heart rate goes up, breathing quickens, and blood flow moves to the extremities, placing us in a ready state to fight or run. This state is often called fight or flight. In the physical body’s effort to survive, it will attempt to control the external environment in any way possible even if that requires jumping out of the way of a car, fighting off a perceived attack, or jumping onto a robot that hovers over lava. In an increasingly stress-filled world, people’s bodies often invoke the fight-or-flight response as the biological self perceives an existential threat despite the absence of such a threat. Examples of this can include public speaking and taking a test, which for some people can result in sheer panic. An underlying propensity for anxiety or a perfectionistic style can fuel the fight-or-flight response and makes us believe in the little “brain lies” that can cause us to think we must control variables that are far beyond our control. Stressed brains seek control over stressors, real or imagined. Fear and the need to control external events repeatedly arise in Anakin’s personality. He fears for his mother and feels the need to return to Tatooine to free her. He also fears the loss and potential death of Padmé, the woman he loves, after a blaster hit causes her to fall from a Republic gunship during the chase for Count Dooku. Ben Kenobi embarrassingly challenges and reprimands Anakin so that his Padawan will remain focused on the mission. Anger and frustration are clearly evident in Anakin’s face. His heart is with Padmé and cannot be in two places at once. In this moment, he loses sight of the mission because of his fear for Padmé’s safety. A true Jedi would release his fear and not allow emotions to cloud his judgment. A similar display manifests during the Jedi rescue mission against General Grievous’s ship. As Ben and Anakin are trying to rescue the Chancellor, Anakin wants to break off the attack to help save the clone pilots who were being slaughtered behind him. At every turn, Anakin demonstrates his core of fear and unreasonable goal setting. He repeatedly experiences the pull to save others to prevent bad things from happening. Ultimately, the variables that he strives to control grow into the most unreasonable and unattainable goal of all: the establishment of peace and order throughout the galaxy. As Anakin attempts to control seen, unforeseen, and imagined tragic life and galactic events, he experiences failure time and time again. Anakin fits the model of the “pervasive perfectionist.” He increasingly responds with anger and ultimately rage. He perceives himself as having failed his mother by not saving her from the Sand People. Imagine the personal sense of failure when she dies in his arms. His response to this perceived self-imposed failure is to react with rage in an attempt to seek moralistic justice by killing an entire village of Sand People, including women and children. More failures ensue, and Anakin focuses on them, building further on his increasing lack of control. Instead of looking inward, focusing on his emotions, and being mindful of the moment and his purpose, he externalizes and emotionally reacts with little thought to his underlying fears and anxiety. Over and over he runs into variables he cannot control, and this plants more seeds of anxiety, doubt, and fear. Hope of Redemption I grew up in an abusive household where I would be physically attacked for even minor infractions. For a child struggling to see the best in people, finding coping mechanisms in the midst of this upbringing was incredibly difficult. Seeing Return of the Jedi seems to be the only thing that got me through my childhood. Star Wars became a coping mechanism and gave me hope that things could be better. The familial relationship between Luke and Vader is the most tortured I could imagine, but Luke never gave up hope that there was good within his father. The moment Vader comes back to the light and saves his son was always a teary-eyed catharsis for me. If Vader could come back from such ugliness, maybe my dad could, too. It took me years to decode why Return of the Jedi was my favorite part of the saga, but once I connected the dots, it made sense. I just wish I would have had someone there to point it out to me sooner. That’s why I tell this story often, to show that Star Wars helps. And for the little boy I used to be, it was the only help I had. The culmination of his anger that is based on fear and doubt is a physical assault against his wife. As Anakin’s fear increases, his anxiety escalates, resulting in an intensification of his desire for external control. This never-ending cycle is what leads him down the path to the dark side. Vader on the Psychoanalytic Couch Our emotions are complicated. Sometimes we don’t even have the words to express accurately the way we are feeling. This lack of emotional language can be very hard for kids, particularly for boys. An example of confusing emotions would be when someone is both angry and sad. It would be hard to come up with words to explain the emotion other than “sangry.” Even adults can emotionally revert to this childlike feeling. The best visual of such an emotion is when Luke responds to the knowledge that Darth Vader is truly his father. We see and hear shock, anger, sadness, and fear all at once expressed in Luke’s face and his tortured scream. One model of understanding complicated and even competing emotions is to think about our emotions in four boxes: (1) mad, (2) sad, (3) worry, and (4) happy. When mad, we are typically being blocked by something that has been placed in our way. Anakin is mad that he is refused permission to sit on the Jedi Council. The Jedi have blocked his way. But worry is why Anakin ultimately becomes Darth Vader. Worry is seated in a person’s desire to control the unknown. People are unable to control the past or the future, but those who remain firmly rooted in the present can manage their circumstances more effectively. Yoda and many other Jedi stay rooted in the present. Yoda once tells Luke, “Difficult to see. Always in motion the future.” I like to rewrite the quote as “Difficult to see. Always emotion the future.” Darth Vader’s emotions cloud his judgment, and this focuses his mind and heart on the future and the past, not on the present. Anakin was not mindful of the present as Sidious gained greater control over him through lies and deceit. If Anakin had been more aware of his complicated emotions and the way fear ruled his life, he might have become more aware of the dire circumstances that held him within the grip of the dark side. Being mindful of the present may have resulted in the destruction of Sidious rather than the destruction of Vader’s own life by his own turning to the dark side. With You Always Star Wars is just a movie series, not a real story, but we can still dream it all happened. Although the films have a nice, tidy ending as Anakin returns to the fold and dies in his son’s arms, we are left with a complicated picture of a little gifted boy who turned to the dark side. The character of Darth Vader has fascinated us and will continue to fascinate us for generations to come. It is all too easy to cast a blanket commentary on Darth Vader by calling him out as bad or even evil. We similarly can name the white-dressed princess as good and pure. Such simplistic and dichotomous thinking can cause us to miss the great emotional depth of the characters in Star Wars. These characters are complicated, real, and relevant to our lives. Good people can be bad. Bad people can be mean but also have great aspirations. Darth Vader does a lot of bad stuff because he is scared. And he’s really cool, too! Thanks, Dad.

[swfanficbyjz]

SW Rey Theory - Legacy of Light - Chapter 26

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(10 and 11 years after Return of the Jedi)

           Ashla stared numbly out the transparisteel glass of the Millennium Falcon as Nyx jumped the ship into hyperspace. It was strange to be back on this ship, but it felt good to be somewhere familiar again. She knew better than to be worried about her mom now, but she was tired of feeling guilty that her mom had to save her sorry butt. As if Ahsoka didn’t have enough to worry about, now she was causing her more trouble. One of these days she was going to get her killed, and that scared her. She bit her lip and glanced over at her uncle that she hadn’t seen for fifteen years. She’d been so lost in thought, she didn’t realize he was studying her. “What?”

​            “Nothing…” he looked away, brushing his long dark hair out of his eyes. He looked thinner than she remembered, and paler. Was he still drinking so much?

​            “Thank you for picking me up,” she said nervously, expecting him to be angry that he’d had to get involved with her again. She had no idea how her mom had found him and gotten here so fast, but she was grateful. “I don’t mean to cause you trouble.” He sighed and leaned his head back against the chair.

​            “You aren’t trouble, Ashla,” he murmured, closing his eyes. She wanted to ask him why that wasn’t what it felt like sometimes, but maybe it was better to let it go. She couldn’t remember the last time he was this quiet and not upset about something. She wondered what had changed since the last time she’d seen him. They’d kept in touch over the years, but not a lot was said about where they were or what they were doing. So the conversations were brief and sporadic. She’d missed him, despite knowing that he’d probably been happy to be rid of her after dropping her off at the enclave. “I’m sorry,” he said after awhile. “I should have taken better care of you.”

​            “Uncle Nyx…” tears welled up in her eyes and she hopped up to hug him. “You did take good care of me. I didn’t understand it before, but I do now. You were scared, and after what I’ve seen, I understand why.”

​            “But it was my job as your guardian to protect you and I didn’t,” he patted her awkwardly on the arm and she let go. She’d forgotten he wasn’t as openly affectionate as Rex had been. 

​            “You can’t blame yourself.”

​            “But I do.” He stared at his feet. “When your mother showed up on my doorstep, I liked her right away. She gave me a hard time, pressuring me into letting her stay while I got beat up by thugs looking for some money I owed them. I don’t remember what all happened, but when I came to, they were gone and Ahsoka was standing over me offering to help me up. I never did figure out how she got rid of them, since there weren’t any cops nearby, but I was too grateful to care. After seeing the way she fought that guy back there, well… I guess I finally have an answer. Now I feel pretty foolish for all my rants to her about how much I hated Jedi. Without her help, I think my business would have tanked. She pulled me out of a bad place, kept debt collectors off my back and helped out around the shop. I was nervous about the future when she told me she was pregnant, I had no idea what to expect. Dealing with kids was not my forte. She was so patient with me, she let me help take care of you even though I wasn’t your father and I guess I fell in love with you a bit quicker than I wanted to admit to anyone.” He fell silent for awhile. She kept hoping he’d continue, but he didn’t.

​            “My mom said that even though leaving me behind was the hardest choice she ever had to make, she trusted you,” she smiled reassuringly at him. 

​            “I don’t know why. I badmouthed her old life, I badmouthed your father, I even badmouthed her…” 

          She reached out and squeezed his hand. “Jedi can sense things. She knew that in your heart you were a good person and that you’d take care of me as if I were your own, and you did.” She tried to sit back down but felt something inside her and she almost missed the seat. “Whoa.”

          “Are you alright?” he asked as she hunched back against the seat.

          “Yeah, I'm just tired." She stared straight ahead wondering if it meant what she thought it did. She shook it off, she'd been through a lot today and frankly, she didn't trust her senses right now. She hoped she’d be able to trust them again after what happened with Starkiller. "Nyx?”

          “Hmm?”

          “What changed? Why are you suddenly so… uh… nice?” She blushed realizing that probably wasn’t how she should have asked him what was going through his mind.

          “I guess I’m turning into an old softie,” he smirked at her and looked away.

          “Seriously, what gives? You’re acting weird.” She rolled her eyes.

          “Something your mother said before she jumped out…” she held her breath wondering if he’d actually tell her what that was.

          “Well? What?” she begged him to continue.

          “All these years I’ve stupidly believed that I’d gotten stuck raising you when that wasn’t at all what I thought I wanted to do. I resented her for the trouble it caused me. Meanwhile, she’d been wishing it was her that had you. That she’d gotten to be the one there and not me. The ironic part, I suppose… was that if your mother had been interested in being with me, I would have helped raise you anyways.” He looked up at her and she watched him curiously. “I don’t think she ever wanted me like that, mind you, but I kept hoping maybe she would if she saw what I did for you. Then seeing her again, wowee… it took my breath away.” His eyes widened, and he looked at her. “Don’t tell her I said that. I shouldn’t have said that.” He leapt to his feet and left the cockpit mumbling to himself and she stared after him confused. 

          She shook her head, smiling. So that was the main reason he’d put up with her for so long? He was still madly in love with her mother. It didn’t really surprise her to learn that. Everyone she’d ever talked to that had known her mother was enamored by her. And why shouldn’t they be? She was amazing! She was powerful, strong, soft, kind, brilliant... Ezra had admired her. Rex respected her and would do anything for her. Chewbacca had cared for her. Her father, who’d married a queen, had fallen in love with her. Ahsoka was just that type of person; you couldn’t help but love her. 

          She glanced down at her belly. She wasn't sure how she felt about sensing she could be pregnant. She thought she'd loved Galen. They'd definitely had chemistry, but after finding out who he really was... the idea that she was carrying his child made her nervous. She wanted to be a mother, at least she'd known for sure she did after making that deal with her own mom years ago. This was not how she’d imagined it, but maybe now that her mom was back from wherever she'd gone for so long, maybe they could finally be together. Maybe her mom would help her raise it. Although she hoped Ahsoka wouldn't be disappointed to find out Starkiller was the father. 

          Thinking about her mom reminded her that she’d just left her to fend for herself with dozens of crazy acolytes closing in around her and Starkiller intent on killing her. She tipped her head back, reaching into the force. “Mom? Are you still there?”

          “Of course, I am, love.” Ashla smiled the moment her mom’s voice came through. “It takes more than a raging maniac to bring me down. You should know that by now.”

          “I do, I do,” she laughed. Her mom sounded lighter, but still so serious. Like she knew something Ashla didn't. She didn’t know enough to understand the whole weight of what Starkiller had been trying to do to her, but the way her mom had reacted when she’d said they had dad’s helmet… Her mom had reacted in fear. It had crashed through her so strongly it had startled her. She’d never felt her mother afraid before. If she had been, she’d hid it well. Her mom had always known what to do, what to say. She seemed so sure of herself all the time, and Ashla wanted nothing more than to live up to that; to become that confident.

          So if her mother was afraid of this, she was too. This was bigger than she thought. She stared out the transparisteel glass and tried to relax, but a deep sense of foreboding settled inside her. They’d dismantled the Empire before, they could face this threat too, right?

 ---

          "I need to, uh, meditate," Luke looked away nervously after Leia went to check on her son. Ahsoka watched him tiredly for a moment but didn't move. Seeing him in person after so long was strange. He was almost a spitting image of Anakin, but she could see Padmé’s softness in him. Life and responsibility had been thrust at him with such force it was amazing he was standing so strongly in the light. This was the child that had tipped the balance in his father and brought him back to her. If only he knew how much that meant to her. Maybe someday she would tell him. Or maybe not. Well Padmé, your children turned out just fine. I think you’d be proud. I just wish after what we’ve all been through, that things were getting better not worse. I promise I’ll try to help them as best I can.

          "Master Yoda. Master Kenobi. Anakin… If you're there, we need a word," she said aloud, crossing her arms in front of her.

          "Oh right... I forgot you… wait..." Luke didn't get to finish his thought as the three force ghosts appeared in the room.

          "It's good to see you again, Ahsoka."

          "I wish it was under better circumstances," she brushed off Obi wan's words, not in the mood for false pleasantries. She paced back and forth as she recited everything she possibly could about what she'd learned on Taris, without of course, mentioning that Ashla was her daughter. She tried to ignore the way Anakin watched her carefully. The others were distracted by the words she'd said, but he’d always been in tune with more than that. He knew something else troubled her and she wasn't ready to say what.

          Once they were deep in conversation about the information she'd delivered, she slipped out and made her way to her daughter's room. She sat down on the bed and dropped her face in her hands, sighing deeply. It wasn't long before she felt Anakin join her. She should have known he'd follow her here. Didn’t he have bigger things to worry about? This was about his family after all.

          "I sense there's something else that's bothering you about this." He sat next to her on the bed.

          "That's because there is," she sighed again. She was too tired to cry now, she just felt numb. Why couldn't the dark side stop needing to rule the galaxy for five minutes?

          "Talk to me, Snips." He reached for her hand and she let him take it. At least the flicker of electricity she felt gave her hope she wasn't too far gone.

          "Starkiller said that they were trying to resurrect Darth Vader. I don't know if that's possible, but I have a feeling that if they manage it, you're not going to come back to life as this. You'll be something twisted and dark; and possibly worse than before. I can't lose you again, Anakin. My heart can't take it. I'm getting too old for this." She wished she could lean her head down on his shoulder or fold herself in his arms, but even though he sometimes felt solid, she knew she'd only go right through him. Which would be considerably less satisfying. She was capable of curling up in a ball all by herself, doing it with him there would only exaggerate the pain.

          "You won't lose me, Ahsoka."

          "You don't know that.” She threw her other hand up in frustration. “I'm tired of fighting. It's all I've ever done. Every time I think I could lay down my lightsabers and walk away, something else happens."

          "You don't have to get involved in it. This isn’t your fight. You've warned Leia, you've warned Luke. Let them worry about it now. You've done more than anyone can ask of you," he smiled reassuringly at her, but he didn't understand. He didn't know the whole truth. It wasn't that simple. Their fight was her fight, because she had a daughter that also belonged to him. They might not be her blood, but they were still her family in a way.

          "I can't stop, Anakin. I have too much to fight for."

          "This is about more than losing me, isn't it?" He tipped her chin back.

          "Yes."

          "Tell me."

          "I can't, Anakin. Someday I will, I promise, but I'm not ready yet." Her eyes burned with the millions of tears she'd already shed over this. Why couldn't she just tell him about their daughter? Why did she hold it back now? She had nothing to lose... and yet, it felt like she had everything to lose...

          "Ahsoka..." he was interrupted by Luke's call from the hallway.

          "Dad?"

          "Go, your son needs you," she breathed, gesturing to the door.

          "What about you?" he looked back at her sadly.

          "I'll be okay." At least she hoped she would be. He hesitated a moment longer and then left her sitting there alone. Ashla was safe; she was with Nyx. She was out of Starkiller's grasp. She'd be okay now. But she'd just found out her daughter was pregnant, and it felt like history was repeating itself. Only this time around, it was far worse than before, and somehow the stakes felt so much higher.

          She scoured the room for any of Ashla's belongings she'd left behind, put them in her bag and left Devoran behind her. It was time to confer with Morai and learn everything she possibly could about these acolytes. Morai had told her something very disturbing on Taris; she wasn't the only one that had escaped Mortis in a new form. Her brother; the Son... Ren… was still alive, and he might be the one behind all this. Which meant, this wasn't just a small-time cult with delusions of grandeur. It was a far bigger threat than any of them were ready to face. He'd had far too many years to build it before being discovered. Why hadn’t she connected the dots before?

 ---

             “What’s the matter?” Ashla studied the faraway look her uncle got as he held her newborn child. The fallen walker they’d made home in the middle of the desert on Jakku was… well it would do for now. It was private. It was far from everything, and after the Empire’s horrible defeat here, it was the last place anybody would think to look for them. Hopefully…

           “Nothing. I was just remembering what it was like to hold you for the first time. I delivered you too, you know. It’s come full circle I guess,” he smiled at her and brushed his jet-black hair back out of his eyes.

           “You delivered me?” she laughed, sitting up on the bed. She wished her mom was here right now, but as usual Ahsoka had far more pressing matters to attend to. She wondered how Luke was doing. If they’d been able to help Ben. Her mom had told her not to worry about it, but she did. For the second time she’d been taken away from her brother; her family. Just when she’d thought things were finally looking up. She’d locked away her mother’s lightsabers and sworn that she wasn’t going to do anything that could draw attention to them here. But if this child ended up being a force user, she wanted it to learn too. She’d have to worry about that when it got older.

           “Well obviously I didn’t do the work, but I caught you when you came out. Don’t sound so surprised!” Nyx had chosen to stay with her for awhile after they’d found this place. She was grateful to not be alone. He’d changed a lot in fifteen years. He didn’t drink anymore, but he still liked to gamble too much. She got the impression that he was trying to make it up to her mother for all the years he’d resented her. She didn’t care why he stayed, she was just glad he did. He came around and handed the little girl to her. “So, what are you going to name it?”

           She was instantly in love with the infant in her arms. She thought about what her mom had said about how she got her own name. Then she remembered what Ezra had said to her; about how she lit up the room like her mother, and for the first time, she fully understood how something so amazing and good could be born of darkness; as though the sun had finally peeked out from behind the clouds. She smiled, unable to hold in the joy she felt. “Rey. Her name is Rey.”

Epilogue - >

[nightsofreylo]

a (not so) quick and dirty review of tlj

Now that’s I’ve had some time to process the film, here’s my initial response. This is after one viewing, so this review is intended to focus on my first reaction to the film, which might not reflect where I actually land on some of these points. Only time will tell.

First off, this film felt like two entirely separate movies crushed into one. On the one hand, you’ve got this beautiful story of Rey, Luke, and Kylo that is at the core of the film. It’s a story of awakening: the imagery is stunning and sensual, and the spirituality leaps off of the screen. The Last Jedi explores concepts within the Force that have never been seen on screen before, and for the most part does so very elegantly. Mark Hamill, Daisy Ridley, and Adam Driver all deliver flawless performances and their characters and relationships elevate this film. Their part of the story contains a truly moving spiritual dynamic and grapples with themes of loneliness and belonging, old and new, betrayal and forgiveness, light and dark. It is a story about balance. It also contains some of the most interesting imagery about female sensuality/sexuality that I’ve seen in a film - ever - which is something I didn’t expect a Star Wars film to address, even though Rey is the main character of this story. On the other hand, the secondary storylines create interruptions in the themes and flow of the deeper story, making for a disjointed and messy film that changes the overall tone. You could watch these two “films” separately and lose absolutely nothing in terms of emotional impact.

Bullet point review under the cut.

With the above said, I’d like to start off with the things that didn’t work well for me, because it’s easier to get those out of the way (and because I don’t like that I didn’t like things in a Star Wars film, so I’d rather not think about them for long). Nothing negative here applies to actors. Everyone in this film delivered the best performances with what they were given.

Negatives

Redundant Characters: There are so many unnecessary characters in this film. Rose Tico and the Codebreaker/DJ should have been merged into a single character. This would remove the Canto Bight storyline entirely and allow her and Finn to go directly to the confrontation with Phasma. Or alternatively, have Kylo track Leia through the force and eliminate this lightspeed issue altogether. Maz Kanata was also unnecessary for the greater story. While I didn’t dislike the Leia-Poe-Holdo storyline, again it seems like Holdo was another complication. Poe and Leia have the background emotional connection, so why not have Leia there to teach him these lessons? 

Finn’s Sidelining: Similar to the redundancy of many of the new characters, Finn was sidelined and experienced little growth in this film. Poe is thrown into the spotlight and gets a bit of character development, but this occurs at Finn’s expense. The better approach would have been to have a Poe-Leia conflict, complete with mutiny, and Finn caught in the middle of it grappling with whether he’s going to obey orders (like the good soldier he was trained to be) or obey his moral compass (as he did in the previous film). Finn would be put back at the center, it would relate back to the themes he’s been dealing with from the beginning, and we’d still get the same message about humility and respect. It would also simplify this fairly messy storyline.

Humor: Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. I’m okay with humor in Star Wars, it’s important and necessary. The problem is when you’re having a deep thought-connection between Kylo and Rey, and Rey makes a quip about him being shirtless, and then two seconds later she’s crying and asking him why he killed his father. We know they’re both uncomfortable with the intimacy of being thrown together at odd times because this scene started off with Kylo’s sarcasm, which is a well-placed moment of humor that occurs before the emotions rise. Rey is visibly uncomfortable/vulnerable, and so is Kylo, so why interrupt the emotions with this one-liner? Tone is everything, and I spent a lot of this film being interrupted from a deep, rich, emotionally complex story by oddly-placed humor.

Pacing: The timing was bizarre, there were so many climaxes in this film (when really there should be two at most that have impact). And every time you felt like they were getting somewhere deep, or really moving the story forward, you’re thrown into a different storyline that, honestly, didn’t resonate. Pick the kind of film you’re trying to make and stick with it. This was surprising from Rian, actually, as his films usually are very cohesive.

Moral Lessons: I know, it’s a kid’s film. You gotta have a lesson. There was one: having compassion for your enemy. Then there was another: respect your superiors because they might know things you don’t. Then another: greed and gambling and selling weapons to the highest bidder are bad. And another: both sides are bad, so if you want to live free, don’t join (actually kinda liked this one). Aaannnd another: oppression, quasi-slavery of those kids (who were cute and clean and very TPM-style oppressed), animal cruelty. It goes on and on and on, as though they were concerned that people wouldn’t be intelligent enough to deal with the Rey-Kylo ambiguities and had to compensate with lessons for children that are morally clear. As though a child wouldn’t understand a hand-touch on screen to show compassion, when one of my clearest childhood memories of Star Wars is Luke taking off his father’s mask. These images resonate with kids more than you think, and usually in ways that carry into adulthood more than direct lessons.

Positives

The good news is that there were many, many positives to this film. 

Character Dynamics: Luke and Rey were phenomenal alongside each other, and every interaction brought either a new understanding of the Force or a new understanding of Luke himself. Rey and Kylo were incredible and the acting was flawless. The beauty of leaving their respective physical backgrounds as they were was that you felt as though they were experiencing something together that even the audience couldn’t see. The viewers were intruding on their connection. And when that broke and Kylo and Rey were shown in the same room on Ahch-to for the first time, it knocked the wind out of me. She was confessing her loneliness and fear to him, and he felt so strongly for her that he practically reached out across the galaxy to make that contact. Luke and Kylo were the third component of this “triangle” setup, and their backstory was also really well-executed. It didn’t remove either character’s agency: Luke made a choice AND Kylo made a choice, and they are both living with consequences. I don’t think it was out-of-character for Luke at all and explained his exile - it wasn’t just an Obi-wan type failure, it was Luke who betrayed his apprentice. This was a very unusual choice for Star Wars, which has exclusively dealt with apprentices betraying their masters. Anytime one of these characters was onscreen, you paid attention, because of what was happening inside them. 

Spirituality & The Force: This is different from morality, discussed above. The spiritual undertones of this story were nearly flawless. The Force Bond, the Force Tree, and the Force Mirror were brilliant flashes of storytelling. They made a point to distinguish between Force Bonds (what Rey and Kylo share) and Force Projections (what Luke accomplished at the end during his battle with Kylo). The first is accomplished naturally, as easy as breathing. It just falls into place. Neither Rey nor Kylo reach out to each other consciously; the connection is a part of who they are and it results in a tangible connection in which they are able to physically feel one another. By contrast, Luke sends himself into a deep meditation that ultimately kills him to project himself to Crait. A big point is made that without the Force Bond, nothing physical happens: Luke doesn’t disrupt the salt with his movements, the FO ships fire on him and it does nothing, Kylo attempts to kill him with his lightsaber and it can’t touch him. It’s an incredible display of Luke’s power, which has been dormant through the film. I loved every second of anything to do with the new spiritual dynamics in the Force.

Snoke’s Death & Praetorian Guard Battle Sequence: The thing about Snoke’s death is that we are missing a piece of the puzzle to make it perfect. Luke needed to tell Rey why he sensed so much darkness in Ben...that everything leads back to Snoke (this isn’t in the negatives pile because it’s possible this will be revealed in IX). The scene where Snoke chides Kylo for his weakness helps establish the manipulation; I just would have liked a little more on how Ben breaks free from than manipulation (and exactly how did he hide his intentions from Snoke)? Otherwise, wonderful scene. The Praetorian Guard sequence where Ben and Rey join forces is visually stunning. We move back to an almost Republic-era style of fighting in that Rey and Kylo feel very attuned to each other and their movements. Fortunately, neither character’s fighting style is sacrificed to achieve this coordination: Kylo’s broad strokes are to die for, Rey basically uses his body to achieve her own movements (in an exact throwback to her TFA kicks), her kind of primal scream mid-fight is so Kylo-esque that my eyes got wide. I won’t even go into the thigh-grab, which I will be sobbing about for the next eternity. Their trust and concern for each other throughout the fight is visible. Kylo has to re-focus after he sees her get cut. When she throws him the legacy saber and he just ignites it through that guard’s head there was a collective gasp from the audience. By that point in the film you are rooting for them, which in and of itself shows the character development and progress.

Supreme Leader Ren: I’m so pleased neither Kylo nor Rey yielded entirely in this film. They’re not ready yet. Neither of them are in a position to love each other properly. Rey needs to learn how to stand on her own, to accept her loneliness, to be at the center of her own story. She needs to discover her place, and Kylo would be a crutch that gives her a sense of identity and belonging. She needs to recognize that she isn’t no one. Kylo’s first instinct upon killing Snoke is to take power, so that no one else can control him. He still needs to grieve for what happened to him, release his anger towards the family that failed him, and find a way to move forward on his own. Rey would be a replacement obsession at this point. Both of them are still thinking in terms of “sides” - Kylo sees her with him, ruling the galaxy; Rey sees him with her, bringing down the dark side. Kylo is almost there, right on the cusp...he senses that they have to let go, let old things die, but he’s not there yet. He’s clinging on to the past just as much as Rey is. They’re both still battling for dominance, still trying to win the other over, still fighting over the stupid legacy saber that doesn’t mean anything anymore. I can’t wait for them to forge a future together and find true balance in Episode IX.

Secondary Storyline Stuff: Aside from issues already pointed out above, the opening sequence with Poe and Hux and Rose’s sister was great. Holdo and DJ were both stand-out characters, despite the messy plotlines. I am torn about how to feel about Rose and Finn...I’m not sure if I’m getting friend vibes or if there’s something there, but Finn’s not sure what to make of it? Another watch might help me figure it out. Poe and Rey meeting was interesting to see on-screen, but felt oddly rushed, like they were last-minute introducing this new meeting. Oscar Isaac could have chemistry with a plant, though, so my multi-shipper heart is pleased that the Damereys now have a “hi” to work with (not that it’s going to match the emotional intimacy of a force bond, but hey, we can have fun). I enjoyed Carrie Fisher in this film...though I really wasn’t expecting Leia to use the Force so dramatically, as in the last movie there wasn’t any indication that she’d developed to that point. In fact, when I saw her move in space, I was nearly certain that Kylo saved her in a moment of regret after his cronies blasted her. It was nice to see her save herself, just unexpected. It’s sad that she and Kylo won’t get a reunion. Luke and Leia in the final scene was perfect and tugged at all the right heartstrings, the forehead kiss destroyed me. It was like saying goodbye...but not forever, because no one is really gone.

[mara-the-cactupus]

Re your post about shipping and r3ylo.. You mentioned you could guess from marketing where they might be going, do you mind sharing what you think? I’m just curious :) esp since you’re a filmmaker

Oh, haha, I’m not actually a filmmaker; it is one of my life plans and I love picking apart stories to see how they tick, and how I could work some of those elements into my own, but I have yet to write or direct a feature.

But nevertheless…

(TLJ SPOILERS AHEAD)

…

If I were to channel my younger self (back when I idolized the most predictable plots ever, thanks to my mostly fairytale-based upbringing) I would say that this sort of yin/yang, opposites-attract, beauty-and-the-beast tale of redemption and hope would absolutely make sense.

- platonic love in Star Wars -

Now, I don’t know if this means that they’re going for a R/K romance; I would definitely prefer if they didn’t, especially given that Kylo Ren is frankly a monster, and all of Star Wars’ romances have made me cringe so far.

In fact, I loved how Rogue One ended without a kiss; the only real romance of that movie was the sort of old-married-couple camaraderie of Chirrut Imwe and Baze Malbus.

I think Star Wars works better when it’s focused on familial themes, and keeps pairings platonic; just think of how much love exists between Luke and Leia, vs. Han and Leia. Perhaps I’m misreading the writers’ intentions, but that moment when Rose told Finn that she saved him because his life is worth more than sacrificing himself to take out the cannon (maybe a lesson she learned from losing her sister?) felt similar to Rey and Finn’s hug in The Force Awakens, or Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor’s embrace towards the end of Rogue One: warm, platonic, and full of affection or comfort. The way I interpreted it, Rose was so weak that hugging Finn was out of the question, so she mustered her strength for a small kiss instead.

- opposites attract / beauty and the beast -

The K/R relationship, on the other hand, reads a lot less like that kind of familial affection, and more like two characters whose destinies and identities are closely intertwined. If Star Wars had prophecies (…does it?), they would feature in one. They are opposites: light and dark, each trying to tug the other towards their side.

This also connects to the beauty-and-the-beast archetype that we love to repeat in fantasy romances: the good, pure woman believes that the flawed, violent monster is capable of being saved, and through her love he is able to redeem himself and become fully human.

This can be a problematic trope, especially since it’s usually framed so that the woman forgives the man’s abuse; nevertheless, it provides a compelling amount of angst and pining, which often resonates strongly with audiences. (Popular examples include the Dr@rry ship, which tugs on many readers’ heartstrings due to the combination of suppressed feelings + outward antagonism; the enemies-to-lovers trope in fanfic; or Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy’s relationship arc in Pride and Prejudice.) Conflict is often more compelling than simple, honest love… and Star Wars’ most famous romance, between Han and Leia, is proof that the franchise has a fondness for this kind of love-hate tension.

- yin and yang -

Now, I am not really a hardcore Star Wars fan and so I might be forgetting something, but from what I can remember, Star Wars has never really done this kind of two-character dichotomy before, which is a little surprising given that it’s a franchise based around these very yin/yang principles of light vs. dark. If they have, it’s been between a good character and a bad character; Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader, perhaps. Light and Dark are seen as opposites, and sort of by extension, good and evil/the Empire and the Rebels are that dichotomy. With Rey and Kylo Ren, there is potential for one (or both) to switch sides; Rey is untrained, and has the potential for darkness (Luke appears to be scared of her power in the trailer), while Kylo Ren is introduced in The Force Awakens as having an internal struggle that hints at the possibility of a redemption arc. They are two sides of the same coin.

(However, from what I understand, traditionally, yin and yang do not reflect good and evil. If yin and yang are two opposing forces that exist in everything, balancing them creates peace; therefore, “peace” cannot be one of the two forces, with “violence” as its opposite – and so “good” cannot be a force, with “evil” as its opposite.

This is particularly interesting when you consider the codebreaker’s point in The Last Jedi, that both sides power the same machine. Both sides use violence against the other, to restore their vision of order to the galaxy; the First Order’s happens to include genocide, but regardless of their moral purity, neither side technically embodies “peace.” So in that sense, they aren’t really opposites on the yin/yang scale.)

Despite this, Star Wars generally frames Light vs. Dark as synonymous with good vs. bad, so I suppose we can still interpret these as being two opposites of the yin/yang variety. So, for the sake of our purposes, yin is Dark/bad, and yang is Light/good.

- the Force as a midpoint between two opposites -

Luke teaches Rey that the Force is not something to be used by either side as a tool, but is instead the force that exists between all opposites – this implies that Force sensitive people are not inherently light/good or dark/evil, and make that choice individually. Rey makes this connection directly when she tells Luke that he was wrong to conclude that Kylo Ren needed to be stopped; she argued that his choice was not yet made… but our two characters view their status as Force-sensitive people in different ways:

Rey interprets this as proof that Kylo Ren has the potential to choose to join the Light side, despite his current status on the Dark side; she sees the conflict within him as a temporary state that can be fixed through his conversion.

On the other hand, Kylo Ren interprets the separation of the Force from either end of the spectrum as proof that he and Rey can exit the system entirely, “leave it all behind,” choosing neither the Light/Rebellion nor the Dark/First Order.

Kylo Ren sees that the two sides tug on each other and create endless conflict, in the same way that he and Rey tugged on the lightsaber and split it in two; he wants to resolve his internal conflict by rejecting the system entirely, and he wants to do that with Rey. Without her, he has no one.

- Kylo Ren’s reasons for wanting Rey to join him -

One of the biggest insights into the difference between Kylo Ren and Rey comes when he tells her that nobody cares about her except for him.

First of all, this statement is objectively inaccurate. Finn, Han, Leia, and Chewbacca have all shown fondness for Rey in the first film alone.

What he really means is that he has nobody who cares about him, except for her. Snoke and Hux treat him like garbage, his underlings probably hate him, he’s killed his father, estranged himself from his mother and uncle, and could never really go back and face them even if they forgave him, what with the guilt from all the people he’s murdered.

But she seems to care. What with their mental Force-Skype connection, and with her alternating between “you’re a monster” and “I saw the conflict in you” [there’s potential for goodness in you], he believes that maybe, just maybe, she might understand and sympathize with him. And he’s isolated himself for so long that he probably interprets this as love. (Hence the cringe-y shirtless scene, which I suppose was his attempt at a physical seduction…?? I guess taking his helmet off in The Force Awakens didn’t excite her enough, so he went all-in and tried to seduce her with the PG-13 equivalent of a dick pick.)

He thinks that maybe she could love him, and that would be enough, and he could leave his shitty past behind and not be alone. He acknowledges that he’s a monster, because he knows that he is; he’s just holding out hope that she will forgive him for his sins, because she keeps talking about how he can still be saved… but the problem is that while his idea of balance (the Force) is a balance between Light and Dark, good and evil, her idea of balance is the peace that will come from a Resistance victory. She wants him to resolve his internal conflict by choosing Light over Dark.

- what Rey wants from Kylo Ren -

I think that the main problem with this ship (as a possible direction for them to go; ignoring what I think about it personally) is that it’s pretty one-sided, and based on unhealthy principles. Rey doesn’t want Kylo Ren in a romantic light at all; he’s mind-raped her, killed her surrogate father-figure (who was his own father, adding to her revulsion at his morality), is a major part of the First Order that has terrorized her world and her friend Finn, has almost killed her friend Finn (remember, she doesn’t know that Finn has woken up), and failed Luke.

Rey wants to save Kylo Ren because she believes that it is the right thing to do, not because she has feelings for him. She thinks that if she can convert a major player on the Dark side to the Resistance, the First Order will be weakened, enabling a Resistance victory. She also might want to prove to Luke that he didn’t fail in his teachings.

- will Kylo Ren convert to the Light side? -

Look at what Kylo Ren does when Rey rejects his offer to go with him and leave the Resistance/First Order conflict behind: he tells Hux that she killed Snoke, then takes command of the First Order and resumes his campaign against the remaining Resistance forces. He fights Luke. Let’s be honest, even though the trailer made it look like he was going to start acting on some hidden inner goodness (hesitating when faced with shooting at Leia; the editing suggesting that Rey was asking him for guidance, rather than Luke), this film made it clear that there is only one thing that could make him turn down the Dark side: Rey.

So, what is the most plausible way to end this character arc?

Well, I see one of two options:

Rey continues to try to drag him away from the Dark side, and he accepts… but only because she has agreed to join him. From her perspective, it’s a personal sacrifice for the good of the Resistance; for him, it’s what he wants. The fight in the red room proved that if Rey is involved, he has the potential to fight against the Dark side. But without her, he immediately snaps back to the Dark like he’s a lightsaber and half of the jedi playing tug-of-war suddenly let go.

He ends the trilogy as a villain, on the Dark side. Now, while this makes sense from a real-world standpoint, I don’t know why they would have spent so much screen time focusing on his internal conflict between Light and Dark if he was just going to end up as a bad guy. Like, this took up most of Rey’s plotline in this film, and regardless of that will-she-accept-his-guidance tease from the trailer, I seriously doubt that Rey is going to turn to the Dark side.

So, since I assume they must have some reasoning behind this K/R storyline, and the amount of focus that has been placed on the two characters and their relationship (to the point of minimizing the role of Finn, who was arguably the main protagonist of The Force Awakens, or at least a co-protagonist, with Rey), I would guess that they’re going somewhere with this, and that somewhere just might be a romance. I would really appreciate it if they didn’t, though.