#if somebody were to make an “I like brains!” version of the I like trains gif I'd award them 1000 internet points

[flyingpurplepeopleprogrammer]

You know, I get some questions often enough that I think I'll just start posting the answers.

Let's start with a classic: "How did you get into hypnosis?"

The short answer? I like brains! That and lots and lots of reading.

The long answer? Well...

It was a long time ago. I can't recall exactly what all happened in what order: there was bad television, of course: cartoon hypnosis and movie mind control. X-2? Telepathy. Matrix 2? Who remembers the scene with the cake? I could list bits of media that are fun with kink glasses for awhile, but you've probably already heard of most of them anyway.

I was curious outside of that, though. There were also encyclopedia artcles about the mind and a grab-bag of probably-mostly-nonsense you could find in books and on the internet about meditation, altered states of consciousness, psychoactives, brainwashing, cults, ritualistic spirituality, BDSM, MKUltra conspiracy theories... whatever. If you can name it, I probably read about it. It's alarmingly easy (or, at least, it was for me) to find your way back to mind control from philosophy, religion, any kind of "why?" question you might go about exploring while you're young and don't know anything.

This was back in pre-video days of the internet and - honestly - I think it was mostly easier to find sources on obscure stuff in the days before youtube and AI generated clutter. I can't really say how much of what I read stuck, but I definitely spent some of my days sat around trying to figure out meditation or getting my awareness out of my head experimentally. It's kind of wild to think back on that, honestly. I can still remember a nice out-of-body experience against a lone oak trea out in a pasture. The dirt around it was always fine and powdery because the horses would clomp and roll by it, and it made the loveliest spot to lay and daydream in a summer heat.

But I digress -

I also worked my way through the EMCSA: first by looking for keywords and themes I liked, then alphabetically - compiling reading lists based on whether or not a given sypnosis caught my eye. Ya boy has read a lot of smut. Hypnosmut - like all art - is mostly rubbish, but you'll find some writers that give wonderfully educational descriptions of hypnosis. That and a few scraps from outdated, untrustworthy papers by Names of hypnosis past and a couple of ill-advised, late-teenaged forays into power exchange and I ended up playing with brainwashing, imagery, and... yeah. I had the tools and opportunity to experiment with some kind of mental play that was hypnokink or hypnokink-adjacent. I can safely say I've been doing this shit since before I was old enough to vote.

Now, nobody should be reading this who's under 18, but just in case you are:

- I cannot stress this enough: do not be like me. I got into a lot of trouble that wasn't good for me and I would've been better off in a lot of ways if this hadn't been the route I'd taken.

- You shouldn't be reading this. This blog is 18+ for a reason. Feck off.

Eventually, like so many of us, I found my way to some shady corners of the internet and made an ass out of myself in ways that - while new and exciting to me-from-the-past - are fairly standard for newbie hypnokinksters. (I'm still out there, btw: Out on the internet, Being an asshat. I don't use this name, though. This Flying Purple People Programmer business is my first foray into not using my usual name.)

When I started out in these spaces I set out to get hypnotised by a bunch of different people because - well - what better way to learn different approaches then to see them firsthand? This taught me a lot about different techniques and - perhaps more critically - what it was like to be hypnotised by a shitty hypnotist. I don't recommend that second bit, but it probably did a good job of encouraging me not to be a dick. I've run into a lot of community folks over the years, but not in a very loud way. That's not uncommon in the hypnocommunuty, by the way: if you've been around for any length of time, a lot of people are floating around who will know who you are and remember you from this event or that website. It's a small world.

Looking back on it as if I had a thesis when I started writing, I think that the best thing I picked up in my adventure was the idea that we don't know what we're doing, really, and that our ways of experiencing things are both wildly diverse and not quite knowable. Hypnosis is a big fuzzy mess in a range of human experiences and hypnokink might not actually have all that much to do with hypnosis. We can be meditating or conditioned or daydreaming or a million other things in the course of our play and often times "hypnosis" is just an aesthetic we dress it up in. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

So. There's me rambling about me. Hopefully that saves me going on for a thousand words next time somebody asks me that question hoping for a gentle conversation starter.

[watatsumiis]

Stealing Clothes!!

Been getting rid of some old clothes today and now I've got Genshin fluff on the brain, so have some silly headcanons below the cut about 'borrowing' clothes from some of my faves!

Characters: Ayato, Capitano, Childe, Dottore, Lisa, Pantalone, Pierro, Thoma, Yae Miko, Zhongli

Content: Gender neutral reader, platonic relationships with the characters (though could potentially be read as a little romantic knowing me), Pantalone refers to the reader as 'dear', reader has a shorter/smaller body type than the mentioned characters (simply because I do and that's how I project with my writing - if you'd like an alternate version, feel free to let me know and I'll do what I can :D

Word count: ~1,740

I've always found something really comforting about borrowing clothes from others so this will definitely be a self indulgent drabble about that!

Ayato's coat would be the perfect article to steal - he takes it off during long meetings and when he's training, leaving it neatly folded off to the side, just begging for you to steal it. It's long and the sleeves border on inconvenient, but it's made of a soft, cool material and smells like a mix of Ayato's perfumes and whatever Thoma uses to wash it. He'd be so sweetly surprised when he comes back to retrieve his coat, only for you to be wrapped up in it - his eyebrows would go up in that cutely shocked way as he stares for a few moments - you worry you're about to get scolded, but he quickly breaks into a warm smile and narrows his eyes as he leans down to button it up for you. "If you were getting cold, you could have just let me know, I would've been more than happy to send somebody to fetch you a coat."

Capitano is usually wearing some form of armour - it's like a safe shell for him to hide away in, he's like a big turtle. The rare times he's not, he layers himself up with sweaters and the like. In timelines where he's not just a possessed suit of armour, he rarely takes his helmet off, but when he does is the perfect opportunity to strike. It's heavy and cold, weighing you down awkwardly - it's overall not very pleasant to wear and you can't understand how he manages to see out of this thing, let alone fight in it. He'd furrow his brow as he spots you wearing it for the first time - he has kind of mixed feelings about his helmet, and seeing you willingly put it on, seemingly just for fun, baffles him a little. Secondary to the helmet, his sweaters and coats are always brilliant to steal - super comfy and cozy, made of really nice thick material that's still breathable. He's almost unnaturally stocky so even his tighter-fitting clothing would hang off your frame, making it all the more pleasant. He always seems a little confused, but not upset - if stealing his clothes is what makes you happy, by all means, go ahead.

Childe's scarf is a nice boon - it's so easy just to tug it off while he's walking by you or distracted with something. It's tattered, but super duper soft and cosy. It probably doesn't get washed as often as it should, but it's really nice, especially on cool days. The length means you can wrap it around your neck several times and nuzzle into it! So snug! Childe gets really confused the first few times, incessantly prodding and asking you why you stole it - it's a pretty sentimental item to him, but you two are close, so he supposes you can wear it... for now. Sometimes he may just adjust his scarf and offer one end to you - its length means you can both wear it at the same time as long as you're walking side-by-side! Eventually it'd just become a normal thing between you two, and you might find him borrowing some of your clothes or accessories in exchange.

Dottore has a myriad of interesting accessories and the like to borrow. That weird bird cloak thing is a definite candidate for stealing, it seems cool and fun, his mask too. Sadly he doesn't often take anything off or leave it laying around, even when he's just running around his lab, and if you try to 'steal' anything he sets down, you quickly find it snatched back and either put back on or put away - not because he doesn't want you to have it, he just doesn't seem to realise that's what you're aiming for. Stealing one of his lab coats, however, is easy peasy! Just a simple task of finding one hanging up in a closet somewhere and ta-da! Now you look like a real, bona fide mad scientist! Dottore's double take as he sees you walking around in the coat (so long it's almost dresslike on you) is almost comedic, he frowns behind his mask and tilts his head to the side like a curious bird. "What are you doing that for?" Will be his first question, soon to be followed by about a million more as he tries to figure out exactly what compelled you to wear his clothes specifically. There are also tons of weird/interesting things to fidget with in the pockets.

Lisa's hat is both stylish and comfortable. She occasionally takes it off just to fix up her hair, so that's always the best opportunity to snatch it away and put it on, especially on a nice sunny day, it protects your face and eyes from the sunlight. She probably thinks it's super cute and after the first time, she may take her hat off around you a little more often in hopes of goading you into 'borrowing' it again. She'll make sure it's sitting at just the right angle, cooing and fussing at how sweet you look, how she might just get you a similar hat for your next birthday!

Pantalone wears so much nice clothing, so many fancy expensive accessories and jewelry, it's hard to decide what you want to take! When he's in his own space, he tends to just leave things laying around - someone else can clean them up (unless you get there first of course!). Trying on his jewelry is quite fun, he has some really nice necklaces and earrings and rings (though the rings don't often come off, nor do the gloves). If he catches you, he smiles smugly and asks if you'd like your own replica of whatever it is you've been caught in. His dress shirts are also really, really nice - they're made of the finest fabric and are so extremely comfortable - they smell like expensive perfumes too. If you get caught in one of those, Pantalone gets pretty confused/almost flustered, and may offer to go fetch you a clean one. "Come now, dear, you don't want that one, I wore it for hours yesterday! It's filthy!" It is not filthy in the slightest. All he did yesterday was sit in his office. Though he breaks into a smug little grin as he realises that you specifically chose one he wore because that provides more comfort to you. He might tease you for that later, but for now, he's perfectly content to allow you to keep wearing it.

Pierro probably wears a lot of heavy cloaks and coats. They're absolutely brilliant to steal if you get the chance. If you see an opening, take it quick, Pierro will probably put his coat back on or fold it up and toss it over his arm or give it to a subordinate within moments. He gives you this absolutely baffled look as you snatch up his discarded cloak, exchanging a confused glance with the person he was about to hand it off to as he waits to see what you'll do with it. He gives you this analysing kind of look as you wrap it around your shoulders, snuggling your face into the soft, fur-lined collar. As you blink at him all innocently, he softens, just a little. His shoulders slump in acceptance as he shakes his head good-naturedly. It seems harmless enough.

Thoma is more than happy to share his clothing, he absolutely revels in it. If it gets even slightly chilly, he'll offer his jacket, even if you're already wearing a coat or something. It's super comfy, and he seems to like the fact that he was able to help you out (even if he's now getting cold). His dog tags are also an item of interest, but he never ever seems to take them off, so there's not really an opening there. The headband, however, he takes off every now and then just to mop the sweat off of his brow or fix up his hair - it's comfy and keeps your hair out of your eyes, and his happy laugh when he sees you wearing it is so sweet and genuine that you can't help but grin along with him!

Yae Miko doesn't really wear enough clothing for you to be able to steal (much to your chagrin). However, if you're very lucky, she may take off her headdress while you're around as she combs through her hair. The look she gives you as she sets the accessory down is almost expectant - she knows of your affinity for borrowing wearables from others, if anything this is her testing just how much you like her (she already knows you're going to take it though, of course she does). It's heavy and kind of awkward to put on yourself, and Miko definitely chuckles in amusement as she strides over to you, tapping the top of your head in a non-verbal instruction for you to tilt your head down so she can help you put it on as she makes a teasing comment. "You must truly look up to me to go so far as to want to dress up as me, hm?"

Zhongli. Coat. It's the coat, that's his signature accessory and he rarely ever takes it off. It's of gorgeous make and quality, and if you get the opportunity, you grab it right away and you RUN, this chance may never come again (/j). It's almost silky in texture and super comfy and cozy. There's a few inside pockets that he keeps things in (more along the lines of pens and notes and the like - there's no mora pouch to be found). He's more than happy to allow you to wear his coat (he would've let you borrow it earlier if he'd known how much you'd been eyeing it off), he's a little endeared by the sight, and will help you roll up the sleeves and do up the buttons, all the while going into one of his signature spiels, this time about some old folk tale surrounding energy and memories lingering in hand-me-down clothes. He runs his hands over your shoulders to smooth out the crinkled top of the coat and smiles warmly at you and delights in your quirks that are so sweetly human in nature.

This got a little longer/ramblier than I was anticipating, oops-- as always, feel free to add on or send requests/ideas! I'm not sure how good/accessible this post length is to some people, so if there's any feedback on that please feel free to let me know, I might start splitting it up into individual characters and just do a series instead?

Please don't copy, steal, repost or otherwise plagarise my work!

[littlewomenpodcast]

Everything Wrong In Little Women 2019

On day to day basis I get so many requests to make a little women 2019 roast. I am convinced that Gerwig has not even opened Little Women. For this discussion I am joined by wonderful Christina from https://www.tumblr.com/joandfriedrich suggested that we would do a ranking. I hope you guys enjoy our discussions.

Christina: At the moment the first one is 1994. I don’t think much is going to change because we both know, what our dead last is. Last in this ranking is the 2019 version. There is no discussion on that. It is dead last.

Niina: When you asked me, can we do a ranking I was like, do we have to watch the 2019? No!

Christina: No. That movie has grained my brain so much. There are times when I just randomly think about it and I am just like..what in the world. Nobody but me, I am just sitting in my room…I hate that. That moment. Someone brought it up and I was like right I forgot. I told my mom when we were watching it the first time. I said you know. Don’t trick me, because they added these little things and I am like ”Oh that was in the book, I have never seen anyone doing” but then I think about it and it is just not right. Somebody mentioned that in the book, at some point Amy wants to expand her art skills, beyond painting. She tries to do sculpting and she puts plaster into a bucket and puts her foot in it. She is trying to learn how to do that. That is the motivation behind it. In the 2019 film, Amy’s motivation is to do something to Laurie to remind him of her pretty feet.

Niina: Jeez.

Christina: Just so you know everybody, in 2019 Laurie had a foot fetish. Apparently. When I saw that, I was like Oh my god! It just keeps getting worse. I just look back on it and I re-evaluate a lot of things I thought were okay. I have seen a lot of reviews that are like ”Oh I thought that apron scene was pretty good” and I am like ”Was it though”? Now that I am thinking about it. It wasn’t as hot and heavy as people try to make it be. Pride and Prejudice hand flexing scene it is not! That film is a train wreck and it is rightfully at the bottom of the list.

Niina: It’s funny about that foot thing because I was thinking like..well if we have this Amy who in the movie is twenty-something. Why would a twenty-something person give a sculpture of their foot to a guy? That doesn’t make any sense.

[atundratoadstool]

How do you think the story would play out if Mr. Hawkins never got that attack of gout and was the one who went to Castle Dracula?

[CW: General spoilers]

There's so little in the text as it stands about Peter Hawkins that it's hard to predict what would have happened. Stoker clearly seems to have contemplated making Hawkins (or some version of the character) have a bigger role in the text, however. I've seen other posts circulating that draw attention to the fact that the Hawkins of the notes originally agreed to sent the Count a clerk who did not speak German, which one might read as giving the character some sense of complicity in what eventually befalls Jonathan, and I recall that I saw one headcanon pre-DD that Hawkins' decision to make Jonathan his heir is informed by some feeling of guilt--justified or unjustified. If you take the notes as a means to read Hawkins a character perhaps a little more willing to ignore some potential red flags with a client somebody else is dealing with (and as somebody who's already been corresponding with the Count and might have a better feel for him), you might be able to envision a different trajectory were the characters swapped. I can see Hawkins, given this characterization, being a little less naive at the onset and a little less willing to defy the Count once things get hairy--somebody a little more likely to adhere to professional distance and make more excuses for the unfolding horrors of the castle as misunderstandings or bad dreams.

This is all an extraction, however, from a page or two of Stoker's abominable scribbling, and another direction in which I think you might be able to take those scribbles is an observation that Hawkins' earlier name was Abraham Aaronson. Virtually every character Stoker writes has some element of himself (Mina's brain/heart division, Seward's workaholic nature, Jonathan's legal training), and I feel that it probably signifies something that Hawkins originally had Stoker's first name... particularly given that the text as completed contains a character named Abraham who also has Stoker's physical attributes down to the phrenological forehead bumps (Van Helsing). If we read Hawkins as yet another Stoker self insert, I think you can end up with a really fascinating story in which the guy being menaced and gaslit by Count "looks very similar to Henry Irving" Dracula is much closer to Stoker's age and position in the world. I can't say what direction, precisely, that would go, but you could suddenly have a text that is a lot more overtly and painfully biographical.

Lastly, if one wants the author firmly dead and to undertake readings that remain only within the confines of the text, I think that Peter Hawkins is a figure--like many of Dracula's parental figures--whose primary skill is dropping dead very suddenly. I think a very boring but very realistic Watsonian option is that he arrives at Castle Dracula and suddenly drops dead, leaving the Count with less cooking to do as he completes his real estate transaction.

[turnipatthelibrary]

Time for 2004's Spider-Man 2

I like the opening credits "in case you forgot what happened in the first film" sequences

LOL would we all be abusing our super powers to get our day jobs done? I think we would.

I just love how pathetic this version of Spider-Man is. Like yeah, you'd fail at everything too if you were trying to be a college student and hold down a job and have a social life and be a super hero. Why doesn't he just live with Aunt May? This man can't pay his rent but he's obsessed with do-gooding.

Introducing Perpetual Sun Man!

Okay, he did legit get in a car accident on the way to MJs play, but also he just couldn't resist spidering it up.

Yeah, you really get to see how burning the candle at both ends and all the trauma from the first movies just fucks his life all up. Pathetic Spider-Man is a choice.

'member payphones?

Oh but he could make it to Dr. Octavious's unveiling. So clearly he loves this guy more than he loves MJ, or so I'm sure the plot will say.

The smart arms alone are a piece of impressive technology. Imagine the accessibility applications! Why didn't he market these!? Ah yes, because inevitably all the inhibitor chips malfunction and then you have a legion of evil octo-arms running around. Actually, I'd watch that movie.

Okay, but like fundamentally the process for fusion worked though right? If he just hadn't pushed it.

"The power of the sun in the palm of your hand" is a Sunny-D commercial. I need to see this as a Sunny-D commercial.

LOL like father like son, you gotta say "I'm the boss!" like a little baby or it's not true.

aaand cue the bloodbath. Why all the villains in this franchise gotta have the whole multiple personalities thing going on? And where did he find that hat?

Okay, but I feel bad for Harry though, poor little baby, always striving for his father's love, then asked to take over his entire company and not doing a great job because he wasn't properly prepared and yeah, as far as he knows his best friend knows who murdered his father but won't talk to him about it. Like, damn.

LOL Crime up 75% without Spider-Man? Really? One dude? Was the only thing holding back the tide of crime in the city? What did they do before Spider-Man

None of them deserve Aunt May.

This dingus doesn't have health insurance but he's gonna just go ahead and jump off a building.

Awww hell yeah trope of telling the person you love that you don't love them to protect them. That's good shit right there.

Oooh, Doc Ock SMASH! LOL, I literally had to pause the movie I was laughing so hard when he took his sunglasses off with one of the metal arms. Oh dang, then Spiderman SMASH - Hulk ain't the only one can fuck up some stuff

Somebody would have pushed the emergency stop on that train tho

I absolutely love the idea that all the people in that train car just wordlessly decide to grab him up and lower him down and not tell anyone they know what he looks like. We ain't snitches!

Spider-Man's not dead - he's right behind you!

Come on, smart boy, use that big science brain of yours to shut it down

Oops, you forgot MJ was there

Aw, tragic villain "I will not die a monster" That's also good shit right there.

Hur dur, Spider-Man will always have enemies and I can't take that risk, she was freaking at risk even when she didn't KNOW you were Spider-Man, dummy!

Oop bye bye fiancé, I'm in love with my best friend. Happens to everyone at least once, right?

AVENGE ME! Best friend Spiderman reveal, Dad Green Goblin reveal, Harry is not having a good day.

Oh shit, she going through with it? Wait, no she's not. Okay, leaving someone at the alter real messed up though and she looks so elated about it LOL

Peter, kiss me like one of your French girls. I do like the role reversal of him always chasing her in high school and then her kinda chasing him after that.

Alright I'm just gonna say it, I liked this one better than the first one.

[toxooz]

how do you draw such BEEF CAKES LIKE- I’ve been trying to find good tutorials and everything but none if them look as good as yours so if it’s not too much to ask how do you do you make them friend shaped I wanna make a man that doesn’t look like a stick (no offense to the stick men out there bUT PLEASE-)

i mean u can only make so many muscle tutorials out there lmfao i think i used muscle tutorials when i was just starting to draw people more but i mainly just use reference pics now, its just a matter of -yes, learning how to draw muscles, knowing what they look like and where they're placed, the muscle and fat distribution in bodies, ect- but also training your eye to know how they look under the skin and how big you want them like for instance i headass thought Ponti looked like a "muscular beefcake" when i drew him back then here, like that was my whole thing with his recolor was "im gunna recolor him AND make him beefier >:3c" but now looking back bro just had an average body lmfao maybe toned yeah but no where near beefy as opposed to now:

looking at the comparisons i think my issue was I was hesitant to add definition to the muscles and round them out more because the older version looks just flat and straight lined. I'm guessing it's because since I mostly drew skinnier mfs previously so my brain thought adding bigger muscles than that would be "too much" since my brain was so used to and "trained better" with being more acquainted with smaller bodies. ig thats why the joke abt super muscular ppl looking like literal balloon animals is a thing bc yeah thats kinda it on a minute level lmfao

same goes for Ollie like when i drew this my brain literally thought his arms were sOoo BIG even though they're just?? regular man arms?? with maybe a tad bit of definition?? because hes literally strangling somebody

now im sure Ollie has a +10000000% chance of knocking Ponti tf out with these guns lmfao

so really its just a matter of training your eye and your brain as to what exactly you consider muscular, don't be hesitant to add more definition to said muscles and give em some fat to flesh them out more. I'd say most of it is subconscious really like u dont rlly realize u made them bigger until i look back and see n think 'damn a new gym in my brain open up or somthn??' idk thats just my personal experience with it

[scattered-winter]

AAAAA i did forget to say that i love my own tag!! i do love to be qpr anon 😭 and i enjoyed it sm to read your thoughts on the points i sent you, i can only give back a *strongly agree* for everything you said, it's like you took my brain and wrote your reply while using it 😂😂 did not expect my opinions to be received that well, i tried to go for admitting the hard stuff because that is usually more fun, so i hope it's okay if i bounce off more ideas based on your reply!! ♥

firstly...... HELL YES join the bucktalia train with me, the finale really made me love them a lot, and i hope we will see much more of them in s7! i have more thoughts on them specifically but i'll stick to the og numbering so it's easier to follow 😂 (this feels lowkey like school, i am so sorry LMAO)

1.) i totally get that the donor storyline squicked you! i was very worried about buck not being able to move on from the baby, with him buying that firefighter-like baby onesie and all... but WOW his maturity? that he helped them simply "because he could"? buck is just such a good person, i think we were shown again just how much he is willing to do to help others and how his help is unconditional as well 😭😭 it melted my whole heart. the callback to buck's wish to be loved by his parents unconditionally... how he called himself "defective" but called his own son "perfect"... just. wow. WOW. the fact alone that he helped during the birth of his own biological child, and he was so confident while doing so!! a masterpiece. i need fics with delivery nurse AU for buck ♥♥♥

2.) jjjjjjooooooooin the bucktalia train 😂😂 no jk no pressure ofc! but but but, i just really like natalia, and how they did things with the little time they had left this season! the couch stood for buck's agency and his peace with himself – he knows who he is, he knows he cannot force anyone to stay in his life if they do not fully accept him or fit his own values (abby, taylor), he knows that his partner must understand and accept his type of lifestyle and the risks related to it (ali), he knows that he won't be happy by living somebody else's version of a good life (i.e., having somebody else's couch instead of his own, which goes for abby, ali, and taylor). and just!!!! buck slowly learning that he is lovable the way he is and that he would rather be alone than settle for somebody who does not love all of him!!!!! it's so important to me. and i do not understand why everyone is saying he regressed! 😭😭 where?!? with every relationship and new experience, buck is learning a lil bit more about himself and his worth imo. it does not have to be linear, and sometimes it's babysteps instead of big jumps, but that's how development works. real humans do not just snap with their fingers and unlearn all their maladaptive behaviors and coping mechanisms either. give buck time ffs @ the fandom!!

2.1.) i am drinking the hot tea that you just served me, bestie. sip sip sip, you are so correct about everything re the buddie agenda and hivemind!! it's crazy to me because i genuinely feel like they almost gaslight themselves and everybody else with what they do?!?! even scenes that are unrelated to buddie are *used* for buddie purposes (e.g. the scene with chim and his dad, about biological fathers), and it's so damn frustrating to me because the facts get twisted and twisted and twisted 😭 like NO!! these scenes weren't even about buddie!!! or worse, they twist everything around to make canon love interests look like the devil when they are often more innocent than buck and eddie themselves (let's not act as if these two are unfailing gentlemen who always treat their women right, c'mon now). and then the fandom gets excited because they come up with some new elaborate theory again, and then they genuinely expect buddie to become canon every single episode. and are disappointed and angry when they aren't. buddie has much bigger problems than that when in 6 veeery long seasons, there was not a single hint dropped that buck or eddie are attracted to men even thought they had plenty of opportunity to do so fjsdfkdshk;; the fun time with headcanons and theories has ended like 3 seasons ago because of the buddie fandom taking over everything... just, ugh.

3.) i could not have said it better. not adding any comment, you spilled the truth.

4.) YES AAAAAA god i can't, i am full of emotions for bucktalia. and yes, she did help deliver the baby in the sense that she got utensils for buck to deliver it, and she also dabbed kameron's forehead with a wet towel etc!! 😭♥ especially the fact that natalia is a death doula has me sooo intrigued. people who work in such a field just have a completely different relation to death, and with grief, and with life (she called herself an "end-of-life doula", which i need everybody to know and think about – how she emphasized the life, not the death)!!! buck's job, his past death, his coma experience, daniel?!? he experienced death himself, he experienced those of others that he tried to save... i just think, in athena's words, maybe natalia is finally the "specific kind of crazy" that can fully accept what buck's lifestyle truly means. because natalia herself has been there to help those that are at the end of their lives – and so has buck. idk idk idk, their professions are different but also so alike! 😭😭

related to that, i LOVED that she wanted to talk to buck about his death experience! there, i said it, and i hate the fandom for twisting it into smth ugly. BUCK was the one joking about his own death, and natalia responded accordingly. it's literally her profession to deal with death, and to accompany people who will die soon on this last journey of their lives. humans have always been interested to know how death feels like, what comes after death... i find her passion 1000% understandable, and tbh? to think that maybe she was looking for an answer about all this, from somebody who was dead before but came back, so that she could be better at helping others?!?!?! i respect and love that idea. what do you think? ♥♥

5.) indeed!! "fandom illiteracy" is my new favorite word, it's so fitting, yes yes yes. and it's ALWAYS just when it's about buddie or a canon love interest that ""threatens"" buddie canonization (as if THAT is what threatens it lol. not the fact that we have yet to see either of them find men attractive?). also omg i originally called eddie an unreliable narrator in my ask but deleted that again bc i didn't wanna come off as too harsh 😂😂😂 and i must add, eddie did not even meet ana at a call! 😂 they met at christopher's school, and he had immediate chemistry with her, so much so that carla immediately side-eyed him for giving her hearteyes. what's that about *magic* and *chemistry* that eddie talked about again?? they reconnected thanks to a call, yes, but it was eddie's choice to ask for a date, and it was eddie who was burdened by past trauma that he had repressed for years, and it was eddie who was not ready for anything serious. ana said "it's your mess now" after he broke up with her in the most ineloquent way possible, after showing that ana was cleaning up his mess in the kitchen. i did not care much about eddieana overall but like... people put all the blame on ana, even for her calling eddie "edmundo", as if eddie is not an adult who can speak and advocate for himself. like, he is just A GUY. maybe the real issue was all his baggage that he hasn't dealt with yet, and not whether or not he met ana on a call. realistically, eddieana was doomed from the start no matter where they met because eddie was simply not ready for anything serious, emotionally and mentally. he would have also not been ready if it was buck, or marisol, or anyone else. that is OKAY. but i NEED the fandom to stop taking everything these characters say as gospel truth, as you fittingly called it. they are fictional, they are tools to tell a story, they are tools to create drama and evoke emotions! and for this, they often talk bullshit to learn a lesson later on. and well, we saw eddie dealing with his trauma finally, and moving forward at his own pace, and being happy to get a date with marisol!

6.) i agree with you on everything here YES. finale gave such great whump, i loved the action and the hurt and the dirty bloody looks and all!! hen wiping away buck's blood????????????? SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP. i also agree that a bit more time for the recovery part would have been nice. then again, they also did not give us much of that when buck's leg was crushed or eddie was shot. the show often skips parts that would be very satisfactory imo lol. but i love good whump and hurt/comfort so maybe that's just me LOL.

share your fic ideas (ONLY if you feel comfortable doing so) and also i am incredibly sorry this got so long. i will now go hide under a blanket and fangirl about bucktalia dfdfgksdlk;

<33!!

for the sake of not repeating myself because we've both said stuff like this in the other post I'm just gonna say a blanket statement for all these and say HARD AGREE <33

HOWEVER i do want to individually touch on natalia because OUGH. I FORGOT SHE REFERRED TO HERSELF LIKE THAT. OUHG <33 I love that so fucking much.

also YEAH. justice for ana and taylor and ali and abby and natalia and every other character who was in proximity with buddie and suffered more than jesus for it

AND FOR FIC IDEAS i really. don't have a LOT of fully formed thoughts but idk. jee and maddie visiting chim in the hospital. buck (no broken ribs) driving eddie home and maybe staying over for a few days to help him out while he healed. athena + bobby being tender. hen + karen being tender. maybe all the hospitalized 118 get together in a single hospital room and plan a breakout. who can say <3 (this is only fic ideas to fit into the episode. however i have. uh. 50+ wips and aus for other things in this fandom. i have what you might call A Problem)

AND I'D LIKE TO ADD A LITTLE DISCLAIMER HERE. BECAUSE I'VE BEEN A HATER FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS BUT I NEED TO SET SOMETHING STRAIGHT. i LOVE buddie. i do. i love their tenderness, and their intimacy, and their friendship, and i love what they have, and i love what they could have. i love slowburns, and i love friends to lovers, and i love coparenting, and i genuinely love looking at them through a romantic lens because it sparks joy !! and i also love looking at them through a qpr lens because it sparks joy !! they spark joy in any capacity !!! my gripes with buddie are at the FANDOM LEVEL, not w the sillies onscreen. its because other characters and relationships are shoved out of the way, or twisted, or put down to prop buddie up, and its because its SO HARD to find meta, fic, or anything else in this fandom that focuses solely on any of the other incredible characters, pairings, or themes in this show because everything's always about You Know Who and You Know Who Else. I know I've been kinda spiteful toward them lately but I just wanna say that it's stemming from frustration of watching characters constantly be demonized/ignored/shoved aside so that Buddie Can Work(tm) as opposed to me actually hating the pairing. ty goodnight <3

[quotidianish]

sorry for the wait, i had to cook dinner

but my idea for the weirder guy team's blu team is that theyre a hivemind. this is a fairly recent development, their scout found a magical artifact that was part of something merasmus started and then, for whatever reason, never finished at some point pre tf2 canon. somebody then got blood on it by accident, and the next thing blu team knew they were a hivemind.

the blu team hivemind (any pronouns) is one mind with 9 bodies, said minds personality being kind of a mashup of the traits of the people that they used to be.

they do have a name other than blu team hivemind, which is the result of me mashing up a set of nine semi-random 1st names and 9 semi-random last names, resulting in Ovailsyox Coytlaisa-uruell (from oliver crew (their scout), val romero (their soldier), xipil Hueytletl (their pyro), faris carillo (their demo), kyro branislav (their heavy), ace blackburn (their medic), murphy wu (their sniper - i feel like ive heard that name somewhere before, hopefully its nothing embarrasing or Bad), and rex campbell (their spy)). i usually just refer to them as the blu team hivemind though because the mashed up name is kind of a wizard name + some other reasons that arent really solid in my mind

id imagine theyre kind of conflicted on whether they wanna go back to being multiple people or not. on one hand, the blu team hivemind kinda likes being themself? but on the other hand theyre not sure what the former blu teams loved ones - or, should she find out, the administrator - would think, plus some other, personal stuff thats not quite solid in my brain yet.

speaking of the administrator, the weirder guy team and blu team hivemind's version of tf2 canon assumes (it kinda has to) a unique set of teams for every map (excluding mvm, training mode, and dev maps). thats 236, possibly more, teams for her to keep track of. even with help (and i highly doubt she would want more than two or three people helping her because every assistant is an added liability), she probably isnt able to keep track of all of them equally. the weirder guy team and pre-hivemind blu team are some of the lower priority teams. therefore, while the administrator is still a factor, shes less of one than for the canon teams. it would also be a bit easier to keep a secret from her.

id imagine it would get kinda lonely for the blu team hivemind? like they have nobody to talk to except themself and theyre a while away from the closest civilization (i dont have a map for them yet, but in my mind the weirder guy team and blu team hivemind are in the mountains somewhere).

i have a lil scenario in my mind where the weirder guy team notice how unusualy cohesive the blu team have been, and matheo sneaks into their base to see if its anything they need to know about. he finds out about the fact that theyre a hivemind now and eventually befreinds them out of pity. may or may not make that canon, idk

Always love the idea of a tf2 hivemind. Having multiple, such vastly different and often extravagant personalities in one entity is an incredibly fun idea to play with. Makes sense they would debate over returning to their normal states, your characters are peak man. Love this stuff, keep up the brilliant work!

[anubisystem]

PLEASE tell me about dogboy Holmes

Okay so first of all my primary assertion that Sherlock Holmes is a dogboy is based on subjective but also completely correct literary interpretation and character analysis. I will admit to not only viewing (for the first time, in the year of our lord 2022, by the way) but DEEPLY ENJOYING the recent bbc Sherlock adaptation with bandicoot bumbershoot, but one thing that I have mixed feelings about is how the recent bbc Sherlock characterized Holmes in a different way from the Doyle impressions. The differences are hard to explain (I’ll go into more depth as I continue to explore and go insane) but the simplest way I can think to phrase it (and this does NOT mean it makes SENSE mind you) is this: Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock Holmes is cat-coded, but Arthur Conan Doyle clearly wrote him as a dogboy. I am so normal about this.

So let me get at what I mean. As early as “A Study In Scarlet” we are presented a picture of Holmes through Watson’s point of view and he comes off… odd, aloof, but very clever and like he clearly has a certain gift. I’d say that this depiction is not abandoned in the new BBC version BUT the writers and actors involved put an additional spin on the character of him being, like, a bit of a sicko in this very overt way and no one really knows what to make of that. Like I mean, people comment on that through dialogue at a few points in the series and it’s a significant driving force in his overarching Thing with moriarty. He’s got this energy in his brain and he needs to solve crimes or puzzles or do drugs or fight something big and WILD to satisfy that craving, that addiction thing. And he loves the games, they give him something vital (in a stimulating way) to do. He’s gotta feel Danger or he gets bored, and when he gets bored he gets destructive; as I said it once, “the bbc Sherlock is very much a show about fucked up little guys who need enrichment so they fight. it’s like if [my bonded cats who love to wrestle and yowl like they’re killing each other and then lick each other’s heads angelically when I check in, it is apparently fully consensual and they’re having a good time] were human guys who were a little fucked up.” Cats being predator animals with adept senses and used to hunting and navigating in the wild tend to get bored without enough enrichment in their house pet lives, and they become destructive. I see this in the bbc take; Cumberbatch’s portrayal of Sherlock Holmes is undeniably cat-coded. I do love this take, for the record, and haven’t decided if I have a favorite adaptation of Sherlock Holmes or if I need one; I’m still exploring like a kid in a candy store (and always taking recommendations). I think the dynamic between Holmes and Watson and the experience of Sherlock Holmes in a near-present day setting with some themes remaining translatable but others being changed due to creative license makes for fun viewing and the characterization is exciting to me as some autistic person online who kinda kinnie vibes with Sherlock Holmes. No shade in particular for deviating from the books by Doyle, but I did notice it and think it’s interesting!

What struck me about reading Sherlock Holmes as imagined by Doyle is that he comes across as similarly desperate for something vital to do, but the implications I read into it has him approaching his work in a servile way rather than purely for his own enrichment. There’s no doubt that Sherlock GETS enrichment from his work, but the way he talks about Scotland Yard with indifferent disdain and a knowledge that he probably won’t get credit for his contributions makes it seem like he’s rather looking for someone to notice what he’s doing. Maybe not the whole world, but somebody he can bond to… through conditioning and training… in essence, he wants to impress a person he values in some way. What’s extra headpat-able about him to me is that Watson can see this pretty early and mentions it: he notices Holmes is “susceptible to flattery” and sometimes uses it to get Sherlock to reveal more about his processes of deduction. I mean, what’s another word for flattery? Praise. He’s such a dogboy.

Plus, he sniffs the crime scene and is always close on the trail of a clue. He’s a bloodhound, through and through. And he wants Watson to tell him he’s a good boy. I think this literary analysis is the best possible use of my limited creative writing schooling by the way. I will continue to be insane about him for the rest of time.

[fakeloveaskblog]

I'm glad someone gave you some logical answers-

Thank you Logan, I appreciate that.

And Janus, I'll give you all the results, including a full video edited like a 2012 vine

And to answer your question, yes. Here's a short list:

One I found out recently, I can make tiny versions of myself. Thats been quite fun, actually

One that I think most watchers have is to travel back and forth from the void

I can talk to people telepathically

I can teleport objects

My shell is bigger on the inside

And if anyone was interested on how I can be a 'snail assassin' with no arms, I simply fill their internal organs with snail goop.

I hope this answers your question:) and again, very different depending on the watcher.

🐌🕸

(For some reason I had assumed the tiny snails haunting Oswald were like non sentient snails u had formed out of clay or something fhjf knowing theyre just tinier versions of u somehow makes it better)

"A 2012 vine of somebody having a miserable possession time sounds lovely!" Janus replied to you "You understand my taste so well darling"

Rowan leant her head back against the couch cushion and sighed "Ugh I wish I also had a void to travel through. Eventually airplanes and endless train rides between filming sites gets reaaaallly boring a- DID YOU JUST SAID TELEPATHICALLY??"

"The telepathic x-men were always my favorite ones" Logan said in what was for him a very excited tone.

Janus choked on his drink from surprise. He held his hand up as if to say something before he got this thoughtful look on his face. He took another sip from his drink and squinted before eventually saying.

"Wait. We all already knew they could do that. That's how they talk to us without anyone else hearing"

A long string of Ooooooooh came from everyone else.

"I always assumed they were just Really Really good at whispering" Patty said.

"I thought they turned small and climbed into my ear" Remus added.

"That was a very obvious answer Janny-dear" Logan moved his hand up and down his partner's arm without really thinking of it "I suppose I got so excited about the prospect of a Charles Xavier type of telepathy to think clearly"

Janus smiled slyly "Everyone's stupid sometimes. The dumbass disease gets us all eventually"

"Me? Stupid? Preposterous. The only times I say something foolish is when I willingly do it!"

Logan waved his finger around to show how serious he was which made Janus laugh.

Patty's eyes lit up like small fireworks when you said your shell was bigger on the inside. She waved her hands around and grinned.

"OH!! it's like the tardis!" She looked over to her husband knowing how much they both enjoyed Doctor Who, even if he had roped her into it "Right?!"

"Right!"

He consciously made his smile bigger than it usually was. He did that sometimes to make sure she saw he appreciated what she'd said. Their ways of showing emotion where very different after all.

Remus put his grubby gremlin hands on your shell "Can I look inside?" Before realizing it would be like asking to look inside someone's house and let go of your shell "Nevermind. You know what they say about monsters in horror movies! It's better if you don't see it so your brain can imagine the worst!"

When you explained the way you could carry out assassinations Remus somehow managed to get even more hyped. He happy stimed with his full body, flapping his arms while moving his head side to side.

"OHOHOHOHOH!!! That's so cool!!! And you could control how quickly the organs fill with goo!! You could make it a super slow agonising death!!! And it wouldn't leave any evidence!!"

He looked over to Janus with a big grin. They smiled back at him and moved their hand like they were stabbing someone. Their eyes met and they both let up into laughter like a silent joke had been said between them.

The moment suddenly stopped as Remus looked to the entrance "Hey shouldn't Remy have come back by now? Unless they're chainsmoking for the whole neighborhood"

"You're very right dear. I'm unsure if it's a good thing to leave them alone for a longer time right now with their....fragile..situation" Janus replied.

It took a second before Remus and Janus said at nearly the same time "I can go check on them!" "I'm willing to go talk to them"

They looked to each other before babbling out to each other that OH for sure the other could go talk to Remy. It didn't matter who. Yes for sure it was fine.

It was quite clear neither of them could decide who should go and none of the others thought they were close enough to Remy to go check up on them in the case something had happened.

Janus turned to you "You're usually a good decision maker. Could you- You don't happen to have any good like vibe about who should go talk to Remy?"

[entoman-created-by-the-tallgreys]

Make this I'm going to make this post super simple for you

I'm going to make this super fucking simple.

. . . . .

Everything you do in your life is trivia everything you know is trivia All your actions are important All your feelings are especially unimportant You and I are nothing more than the equivalent of ants crawling around some fucking planets somewhere We are just one planet at literally infinite in the multiverse There's not just a universe but there's a multiverse It means it's unlimited versions of the universe which means therefore there's unlimited planets unlimited stars and unlimited elements out there besides a four holy elements

Air earth water and fire in the two second forces of light and dark

And then it's also neutrality

. . .

My only point here is I wanted to let you goddamn know your life doesn't fucking matter My life doesn't fucking matter Your dogs life doesn't matter your cat's life really doesn't fucking matter nothing you do ever fucking matters and then you're just going to fucking die in times going to erase absolutely everything you ever fucking did in your existence It's going to fucking erase you just like erase all the tens of thousands of other lives before you and all the billions and trains of things they said and did throughout their life

Only a fraction of that shit survives and down to the corridors of time and it doesn't survive that very long A lot of the buildings have to be replaced a lot of the customs were placed everything gets replaced by something else You are nothing more than something that will be expended and cast it away

Everybody takes himself way too fucking seriously

And before you know it you're dead no one cares about your life no one knows about your life and even if you were famous nobody gets a fuck

Everybody's just going to move on to the next big fucking thing and you're going to be that old famous person like fucking Elvis

You are irrelevant I am irrelevant We are all irrelevant Your emotions are irrelevant Your actions are irrelevant Time itself is irrelevant Everything you know your brain is irrelevant

Everything you will ever learn is there irrelevant Every crime you commit is irrelevant all the sins you committed are relevant There's literally nothing you can do that does that fucking matters so what does matter it's for you to do whatever the fuck you want and it stop giving so much of a fucking shit about other people think and feel and do you need to care strictly about what you want and stop giving a fuck what everybody else wants ever see somebody die it's like watching a fucking and get stepped on

People come in and out of this fucking world, like all the cars you passing on the fucking road

How many of those goddamn cars the face that you see on the road you see more than once

. . .

That's Exactly my fucking point

. . .

And you are no better than them You are no special you are no not new or no way more important you are no different from anybody else out there your life is not more important your life is not least important, We are all equally worthless

. . .

[yanban-san]

Do you think demon!Emmet and Ingo would use the newly made subway to isolate their darling? Been watching a silent hill 3 playthrough, and I wonder if they’d try to bend reality into putting their darling into an abandoned version of the subway.

They don’t like to scare their darling, but maybe they feel like they’re losing you to somebody else. So they put you in a small closed off reality to make you nervous, wandering around, begging for help so they can be your rescuers. So when they assist you out of “time out” they can gaslight gatekeep girlboss you into thinking you were just in abandoned subway tunnels, having you cling to them so cutely.

(Anon thank you for the brain worm and also I'm baking you cookies)

Them using the Subway for such purposes would be quite nefarious- And absolutely. They may have comical brain cells and they’re very deredere but they’re like. One twig snap away from acting like the unhinged demonic creatures they were meant to be. That was so mean of you, you know- Hanging out with a young man and exchanging numbers with him- You even told your friends you were going to call him later! They needed to put a stop to this immediately. Remind you of who really cared about you, you know?

CW: Polyamory, Demon/Eldritch AU, Manipulation, Yandere, SFW, Reader is AFAB

Under the cut for space saving reasons as always!

You turned right. And then right again.

Tunnel R-5... R-4... And then a connector line.

That went right.

You studied your map. According to the map, the tunnel was supposed to- to turn left. Not right! That's right, it even showed it right here... R-5, then R-4, then... a left leaning connector line up to tunnel D-18.

Maybe the map was wrong?

And of course this had to happen right when you were done with training too- As fast as you'd gotten hired at Gear Station, you were going to get fired now, too! You turned down the connector line and-

Wait. F-25?

You looked at your map.

You looked at the tunnel marker.

There was no tunnel F-25.

Don't worry, you thought- you can just turn around, and there were emergency assist buttons back at the R-category tunnels. F-25 didn't exist. You looked around the tunnel and...

The railway track... looked awfully rusted, didn't it? And the tunnel- the paint markings were worn, faded- And there were no service bells nor cabling extending down here.

All of a sudden, it was deathly silent; The only sound was of wind blowing through the tunnels, howling terribly- Sounding more like a cacophony of eerie wails rather than air.

Your heart was thudding in your chest. Where had you ended up? You ran back down to the connector line and-

R-5. But- Did R-5 always bend off to the left?

Your head hurt.

You went walking down the tunnel- and found an emergency call signal. You pulled it forcefully.

Nothing. The signal light didn't come on, nor did the alarm start blaring-

Though you did hear something clunk violently in the distance.

You tried to dial your X-Transceiver.

Nothing.

Panic set in. Perhaps you could find a surface access tunnel- Just- Anything-

And strangely enough- It felt- somehow, like you were being watched in the darkness of the tunnel. But there was nothing there, whenever you looked.

"H-Hello?" You called out- Half hoping someone would answer, the other half terrified of what might answer. Your lantern shined down onto the rusted tracks of the tunnel-

Wait. Rusted? That couldn’t be right-

But it was. The tracks looked ancient. Worn away by corrosion-

This was not Gear Station; It couldn't be. The whole place looked like it hadn't been touched in decades- And where were the access stairs? There were plenty of points around the subway that just opened up to the City above- To Nimbasa-

"Hello!! Hello, I’m lost-!" You shouted into the darkness- “Is anyone there? Hello? Please Help!”

The wind was the only reply you got.

You kept walking.

And walking.

At least you had your lamp, you reassured yourself- And flashed it at the wall to read the tunnel identification marker.

L̶̪̋-̵͔͕͈̐Ѭ̵͔̮͛͗͗ͅሡ̸̰̖̋̌͘ჶ̸̯̱͒̚̕͜ሢ̵̹͊

Well that certainly wasn't a tunnel marker you recognized. The letters weren't in English, and you couldn't place them from anywhere- And they almost hurt to look at, in a way. Graffiti, probably. You turned your lamp away, scanning the wall again-

R-6, it read. In the place of the strange letters.

You blinked, and studied the mark under the lamp light for a minute- Before it suddenly gave out, and you were in the dark.

The wind seemed even louder now- as did your heartbeat and the rapidly increasing sound of your breath as an adrenaline rush kicked in. You hadn't noticed it, but there weren't any lights down here in the tunnels either.

A power outage. A full scale power outage.

"I-Is anybody there? Please- Help!" You cried out into the darkness.

There were strange sounds now, too. Not the normal, already eerie sounds of echoing train carts or machinery that could be heard through the tunnels- but stranger sounds. A deep, thudding, pulsing beat- metal scraping over metal- And you swore you heard whispering growls- Strange thumpings that sounded like something scuttling about behind you-

And your own heartbeat. Thudding harshly in your ears, and feeling like it was echoing around the imposing, towering walls of the subway tunnels- Unable to bear it, you took off running. Panic took over your senses, and tears tinged your eyes- No matter what direction you took, everything looked the same. You'd passed R-5 several times now- And the other tunnels all looked the same- Smelling of mold and grime and musty dirt. Finally, you collapsed; And cried. This was so idiotic, you thought. And frightening. You weren't so stupid- as to get lost on your first, actual day working! And everything had been going so well for you too... You'd even been planning to go on a date with a rather cute young man you'd met at the amusement park- Milton was his name.

Would you ever get out of here? You looked up into the darkness. Your eyes had long since adjusted, but it was still almost impossible to see anything of importance. Strangely, there was a light, though where exactly it was coming from you couldn't tell. You let yourself cry a little bit- You were so afraid, so terrified- and your feet hurt now.

“Please, anyone…” You cried- “Somebody, please- I’m lost-”

Your sobs quieted after a short while- and you heard the sound of footsteps.

A light appeared down one of the tunnels- and the familiar sounds of the Subway Station returned, as echoey and loud as ever.

"Is that-" You heard a familiar, deep voice call out-

"I believe so-" The other voice answered-

You probably looked a right mess- And shakily got up, and suddenly the maintenance lights came on with a dull thud that echoed through the tunnels- And the familiar, comforting hum of the fluorescent lights had never seemed so pleasant before.

You couldn't help yourself; You ran up to your two bosses and clung to their coats, sobbing lightly. Surprisingly, they didn't shake you off- And you felt one of their hands reach over your head and pet it affectionately.

"There, there- That must've been so frightening. How long have you been down here, dear?" Ingo took you over to the maintenance walkway, sitting you down against his leg and holding you. "I-I don't know," you gasped out. Emmet sat beside you, rubbing your other hand.

"It's a good thing we realized that the power got cut off over here, isn't it?" He said, looking into his brother's eyes for confirmation. Ingo nodded. "Yes, we didn't realize you'd been sent down here for a rail inspection... There's faulty wiring back at the main power station for this section of the rail and- We're so sorry you got lost down here. And on your first day, too..."

Emmet turned your face towards his, reaching in a smidgen too close; His silver eyes inspecting every inch of your face- Not that you noticed. "Are you sure you're alright?" He put a hand to your forehead, and another to your clavicle.

"She's feverish, brother... And her heart is verrrrry fast- Oh, I do not think you're okay at all!" Ingo's eyes flashed with worry at this revelation, and his arms moved around you to support you. You did feel kind of light headed, after your sudden run through the train tracks- and your feet hurt too.

You tried to recollect what exactly had happened in the tunnel; Your mind was hazy though. You had just- essentially been running in circles in the dark, from what you could tell. You felt like there'd been something strange about the whole experience, but you couldn't recall it. Like a bad nightmare. You refused to let them carry you, and so Emmet and Ingo supported you gingerly, taking both your arms in their own as they supported your back with their other hands, after you insisted on walking- Back into the light, and back to the main lobby of Gear Station. It was comforting, and without even really meaning to, you snuggled your hands into Ingo and Emmet's arms, pulling them against you.

"T-Thank you for helping me, Station Masters." You sheepishly answered. Your feet really did hurt- Maybe it would've been better to let one or the other carry you... No, what on Earth were you thinking? You felt Emmet squeeze your hand tightly. "Of course, it's our job to make sure everrryone is safe here! And you're verrry-" He stopped himself mid line, thinking- "You're... a new hire, so it's verrry important we watch out for you!" Ingo's hand pushed into your back. "Indeed, think nothing of this. It's our fault for not making sure you had a fully charged lamp light... and also for that power outage. That shouldn't have even been able to happen..." Ingo tapped your shoulder, drawing your attention to him. "Are you absolutely sure you're alright?"

"O-Of course, I'm fine! I'm just a little... shaken up, I guess." You let out a nervous laugh, and Emmet cocked his head at you. "Then how may we unshake you?" You snickered at your boss's joke, though Emmet was confused- Not that he'd show it based on your reaction. You were smiling at him, and that's all that mattered. "There's nothing to be done but for me to get some rest, I guess. Thank you, guys."

"Of course." Emmet beamed.

More- you were so cute, the way you smiled when you said "Thank you-" He wanted more-

"I'm verrry glad I decided to check again during the shift change. It would have been verrrry bad if we hadn't found you. Until later." You gulped, recalling the strange semi-lucid nightmare that had consumed you- "Y-yea, I guess... That would've been bad." Emmet interjected, his hand squeezing your own again- "Verrry bad. I'm verry happy we found you before then."

You smiled weakly back. Your headache may've been gone, but now that the adrenaline rush was wearing off, you felt weak and tired. "I am too. Thank you, Emmet- and Thanks, Ingo. I don't know what I would've done if you two hadn't shown up."

Yay! Emmet's heels clicked the floor aggressively as he walked with a more hurried pace- And Ingo took a second to adjust his hat, pulling it down. "I- You're welcome, I just hope you recover safely, dear." That was cute, you noted- The way he called you dear.

Neither of them would show it, but having you alone with them like this- So close, so perfectly, wonderfully close- And even that little praise drove them mad. You weren't aware of the many shadows moving against the falling light that stretched behind you, gently holding onto your clothing.

They returned you to the main lobby; It was already past your scheduled work hours, and so now you just needed to head home, after being checked over by an Audino and several of the Station nurses. You were fine; a little tired, a little stressed, nothing a good hot meal, bath, and rest wouldn't fix. Ingo and Emmet insisted on walking you back to your apartment- "It would put our minds at ease, please?" Ingo had asked you so gently- Oh, how could you refuse them when they'd been so nice already? And they lead you back, stopping to pick up some useful things for you and takeout-

Their treat, they insisted. Probably feeling bad that your first "unsupervised" day had gone so miserably.

You went up to your apartment, bidding farewell to your bosses- “And if you ever need anything else,” Ingo added as he leaned over you- “Please do not hesitate to ask us. You’re- er, one of our employees,” He finished, evidently finding what he said awkward himself, as he pulled his hat down. You giggled, and thanked them again, finally sitting down to enjoy your dinner- Your arms still strangely tingling from where Emmet and Ingo had held you- It was a curious feeling. And your heart was beating faster for a different reason now.

“That was very nice of them,” You muttered to yourself- Alone in your apartment. It felt wrong to call Milton to arrange your date now, strangely- Of course, your bosses- Neither of them, being famous trainers and Station Masters…would want to date you, right?

Unless-

You blushed as you thought back to how nicely they treated you just now- Surely that was more than they’d do for the average employee?

And Emmet smiled as both of them turned away from your apartment, returning to Gear Station.

You just needed a little bit of correcting, that was all. Ingo refused to just erase that foolish little Milton- and Emmet had to agree. If you ever found out- And they would be terrible about keeping secrets from you one day, If you ever found out- You’d be upset. And so Emmet devised another plan. You’d turn to them like the damsels in those hero movies did when they were saved from a scary situation. Thanking and praising them and turning those feelings into ones of admiration and love-

It was easy, of course. Twisting a dimension in on itself- There was a small problem when that… glitch in the distortion appeared. They hadn’t meant to frighten you so terribly. But still, it worked. Making you run around the subway for a few hours reminded you of the important things in life, and got those thoughts of that silly little human out of your head.

You clung so sweetly to them after they appeared to find you, pulling their arms into you- Emmet nearly burst with joy at your touch, so intimate- so close- And Ingo did the same. His shadows flinching intensely at your touch. And they adored your praise again- Emmet didn’t like having to weedle it out of you, but hearing you thank them- praise them for being so sweet, was the greatest thing he’d ever experienced - And one day, one day- you’d thank them with their true names. You’d look Emmet in his crown of eyes, stroking his wings- telling him how much you adored him- Calling out the names that held such power over them, and they’d give you a crown of light and shadow and call you their bride. Their soulbound beloved. Soon.

And he was so focused on his daydream, Emmet walked straight into a telephone poll with a resounding clang.

“What are you doing?!” Ingo hissed at him as he collapsed on the ground in pain. They were almost back to Gear Station.

“Daydreaming, Nobori.” Emmet hissed, his voice splitting into several as he tried to restore his human face- pain made parts of him snap into his “true” appearance by accident still. Something he needed to work on.

He rubbed the bridge of his nose. Infinite cosmic power, and somehow being a human still could make him feel pain. Ingo sighed at his brother, helping him up. Yes, a daydream indeed if it was capable of distracting him so to the point of losing his focus on physical reality.

Yes, just a daydream. For now.

[foxy-eva]

Side by Side

Summary: Spencer is mesmerized by Fem!Reader on their first date and is surprised that she apparently feels the same way about him

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Category: Fluff

Content Warnings: Hints at Date Night (S15E6)

Author’s note: I had the time of my life writing this and can’t stop giggling at these two idiots (lovingly). Special thanks to my friends on the discord for giving me the idea for the little conversation they have after their first kiss. Let me know what you think here!

Word count: 2.6k

Masterlist

There always comes this moment during a first date where you have to decide whether you want to see the other person again or not. Since it is usually too soon to talk about feelings, it is hard to know if both are actually on the same page about this. So in my almost forty years of existence, I had learned to not get too worked up about somebody before knowing if things were going in the right direction.

But when I picked up Y/N from her apartment tonight, I immediately knew I was doomed. She looked absolutely perfect when she opened the door and greeted me with a heart-warming smile. When she hugged me, I couldn’t help but wish that her scent would linger on my clothes for longer than just tonight. I felt like the awkward 23-year-old version of me again, who daydreamed about marrying someone before actually having been on a date with them. Pulling back from our hug, she quickly pressed a peck on my cheek and I instantly felt the heat rising to my face.

“So…?” she giggled.

“Wh…What?” I stammered.

Her laugh was like the sweetest melody I had ever heard, a sound I wouldn’t be able to grow tired of in a million years.

“Are you finally going to take me out on that date or what?”

“Of course, yes! That’s why I’m here!” I exclaimed in a higher pitched voice than I would have liked.

When I planned our date I thought that since we met on a train, it would be a sweet idea to take the metro to the restaurant instead of driving there. I hadn’t told her that, which is why she was waiting for me to tell her which of the parked cars was mine when we stepped outside her apartment building. My heart-rate got to an uncomfortable frequency, realizing that she might think that this idea was really weird. Her eyes found mine and I noticed a small crease forming between her eyebrows, probably already finding my behaviour odd.

“I uh… sorry this was a dumb idea but I… I thought since this is where we met, we could take the train to the restaurant.”

Her facial features softened again as she replied, “Sure, why not. I actually think that is kind of romantic. Also, it’s good for the environment, so what’s more to ask for?”

I wasn’t completely sure if she was being serious, but when I felt her hand making contact with mine as she interlocked our fingers, there was no space left in my brain to worry about anything. My palm felt like it was on fire as we walked over to the next metro stop. When she sat down beside me on the train, her thigh almost touched mine. I thought about all the times she had been by my side like this in the past few weeks.

When she took the seat beside me on the train ride to work for the first time two months ago, she was radiating an energy with the potential to warm even the coldest places within me. I had been focussed on my book when she entered and I didn’t want to just blatantly stare at her, so I tried to glimpse at her the best I could from the corner of my eyes. I’m still not sure if it was actually directed at me, but when her stop came, she whispered “bye” before exiting the train. The second time I saw her a couple of days later - I had been out of town for a case - she smiled at me when she entered the train and chose the seat beside me once more.

It was her of course who started a conversation, asking about the book I held in my hand. Talking to her instantly felt natural and she kept choosing the seat beside me whenever my schedule allowed it to take the same train as her. We only ever shared eleven minutes of our ride together before she had to get off again, but those few moments quickly started to be the highlight of my mornings.

I snapped out of my thoughts as her hand grabbed mine once more. Her thumb gently brushed over the back of my hand. I turned my head to look at her as she was smiling at me.

“You know, I was getting worried you would never ask me out. I’m really glad you finally did,” she said.

“Can I be honest with you?”

She nodded at my question.

“I almost didn't. I was nervous that you would say no and that things would be too awkward to continue our conversations on the train.”

She giggled at that and shook her head before she said, “Talking to you is the only thing that makes using public transportation bearable.”

My heart skipped a beat at her statement and I was glad that it was time for us to get off the train, since I didn’t feel like I would be able to react to that without letting her notice what a lovesick fool I already was. This was only our first date after all and I had no intention of messing up everything just yet.

Conversation flowed easily while we enjoyed our dinner. Even though I sometimes had a hard time interpreting her sense of humor, she had this ability to constantly lighten up the mood, making me laugh more than anyone else ever could. When we stepped outside the restaurant after finishing dessert, I had no intention of letting this date come to an end just yet. I wasn’t too sure about her though, until she suggested we take a walk to a park nearby. Even though this thought was still hard to accept, I slowly started to wrap my head around the fact that she apparently wanted to be on this date just as much as I did.

I was still surprised when she didn’t flinch away from me when I took her hand. In fact, she accepted my touch as if it was the most natural thing for her, instantly interlocking her fingers with mine. The sun had already set, a mild breeze rustling through leafy trees as we walked side by side in a comfortable silence. When we reached a playground, she started to pull on my hand, directing me to a set of swings. She sat down on one of them and motioned for me to take the one beside her.

“Whoever manages to swing higher wins!” She laughed as she started to sway back and forth, quickly gaining height.

I didn’t even question the display of childish behavior, copying her movements without thinking about it twice. The chains of the swings made concerning squeaking noises, not being constructed for the full force of two adults swinging higher than a child ever would. I couldn’t have cared less in that moment, trusting that we would be fine as I joined her in her laughter, feeling a sense of freedom when I felt the wind against my face. I watched her as she threw her head back and stretched her legs out, her eyes closed as she revelled in memories of days long gone.

She opened her eyes and smiled at me, reaching out her hand for us to connect. I already knew I would never be able to deny her anything, so I let go of one of the chains to touch her instead. Both of us slowed down then, until we were only slightly rocking back and forth with our feet attached to the sandy ground once more.

She tilted her head to look at the clear night-sky, her eyes wandering over seemingly endless stars and their constellations.

“We had a little playground like that where I grew up. The kids in my neighborhood would meet there every weekend to play together. There was this older boy who was obsessed with Star Wars. He never stopped talking about it and invited us to his house to watch it on VCR with him. I was a little too young to actually understand any of it, but I really wanted to belong so I pretended I was just as into those movies as the others,” she told me.

She looked at me before continuing, “so for the whole duration of our summer break, we would recreate scenes from the Star Wars movies when we met at the playground. This boy always chose to play the villain and told us which character we should portray. Guess who he chose for me!”

I didn’t even have to think about it when I answered, “That’s easy. Princess Leia.”

“R2-D2,” she corrected me.

I really wish I would have been able to hold back, but I couldn’t stop a laugh rumbling through my chest.

“Yeah I know, looking back I also think portraying a literal trash can was a great fit for me,” she laughed.

“Hey, R2-D2 is not a trash can. In fact, he is very essential to the storyline. Did you know that he saves every main character's lives at least once? Now that I think about it, there actually are things you two have in common. He is selfless and brave and also kind of funny,” I countered.

“Wow,” she said and got up from the swing beside me, slowly walking away.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to insult you or anything?” I stumbled as I jumped up to follow her.

“You didn’t. I’m actually somehow charmed by being compared to that little robot. I guess I’m more of a nerd than I thought I was,” she giggled.

She let her head fall back to look at the stars once more. I followed her line of sight until she suddenly blurted out, “we should make out.”

“Excuse m..”

Before I could finish the sentence, she swung her arms around my neck and pressed her lips against my still half-opened mouth with just a little too much enthusiasm, our teeth clashing together almost painfully. She let go of me immediately and pulled back.

“I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean for that to be so awkward but you kind of make me nervous and I thought we could just get this tension out of the way,” she mumbled as she looked to the ground.

“I make you nervous?” I chuckled.

Her eyes found mine and for the first time since I had met her I noticed a certain insecurity in her look. I closed the distance between us, one of my hands cupping her face, my thumb gently brushing over her cheek while my other hand grabbed her waist to pull her even closer.

“I think we can do better,” I whispered as I lowered my face to hers.

She breathed out an almost inaudible “yes” right before our mouths met. Both of her hands found their way to the nape of my neck, intertwining her fingers with my hair as our lips tenderly moved against one another. I felt her smile into our kiss, as her confidence grew again the longer we shared this moment. Her tongue found mine as she deepened our connection, her fingers tugging on my hair ever so slightly. A certain eagerness showed in the way she held onto me. There was no reason to complain though, now that I had gotten a taste of her sweetness, I realized how starved I had actually been.

Kissing her felt so right, there was no room for doubt or concern. She shared her warmth with me, leaving a tingling sensation everywhere we touched. For two months I had been longing for this moment, to be connected with her at last. When our lips separated again, she radiated a beauty like never before. With her cheeks slightly flushed and pupils dilated I could have fallen to my knees to worship her for the rest of my life right then and there.

However, she didn’t give me the chance to do that, instead taking my hand again to continue our walk. I realized how much I had craved a kiss like that, one that wasn’t tainted by the darker side I possessed. With her everything felt light and pure.

She stopped and turned her head to look at me.

“What are you thinking about?” she wanted to know.

“Nothing,” I blurted out too quickly for it to not be a lie. I knew she would see right through me, so I continued, “I mean, I’d rather not say.”

She raised her eyebrows at me and said, “Now I’m intrigued. Come on, tell me!”

There was no way I could explain my thoughts to her without freaking her out. I should have known better than to assume she would let it go, I had already gotten a feeling that she could be stubborn if she wanted to.

“Well, if you would like to repeat what we just did, you better tell me.”

“I’m just relieved, okay? The last person I made out with was a serial killer and that really needed to change,” I finally said.

There it was again, the crease forming between her eyebrows as she processed what I had just said. A part of me expected her to just walk away from me and never talk to me again after this confession. I began to panic, certain at this point that our date and whatever could have been after that was over now.

“Uhm… sorry to disappoint you, but kissing me didn’t change that,” she finally stated.

“What?”

She broke out in laughter. Of course she did, it was a joke I didn’t catch onto immediately.

“I’m so sorry, I had to. To be clear, I am not a serial killer but there was no right way to react to what you just said. It was just so… bizarre,” she explained.

“You’re not disgusted by me now, are you?”

She shook her head and stepped closer to me, letting her palms tenderly rest on my chest as she looked at me.

“I’m not. I am sure there is more to that story. You can tell me about it if you want. Contrary to popular belief, I am in fact capable of holding a serious conversation,” she let me know and winked at me before she placed a brief kiss on my lips.

“I know that. And I’d rather not talk about that story now.”

We continued our walk in the general direction of a metro stop. When we waited for the train to arrive, we shared a few sweet kisses and continued that until we were standing in front of her apartment.

“You can tell me, you know…,” she trailed off and looked at the floor, apparently contemplating whether she actually wanted to say it.

“Tell you what?” I softly asked her.

“I know I can be a handful. At least that’s what I have been told. So if I ever get too much for you, just tell me, okay?”

I couldn’t stop my jaw from dropping, shocked at what she had just said. Why would anyone ever tell her something like that? My fingers made contact with her chin, gently applying pressure for her to tilt her head to face me again.

“I would never think that. In fact, I cannot get enough of you, so being too much for me is impossible.”

Her eyes lit up once more and she granted me one of her sweet smiles as she said, “good, because I really want to ask you if you would like to come in? Not to…uhm…I mean, I really don’t want this date to be over yet and I thought that maybe we could watch a movie or something?”

“Yes, I would really like that,” I said before leaning down to kiss her as she smiled against my lips.

Taglist: @nomajdetective @reidsbookclub @spookydrreid @safespacespence @gspenc

When she took out her keys I noticed a tiny R2-D2 figure dangling from the keychain and chuckled, feeling hopeful that there were many more moments of sharing stories like that awaiting us in the future.

Join my taglist here

[doctorho]

If you knew what the bluebirds sing (part 8)

Royal!Viktor x gender neutral reader, 1.5k words, no warnings

Here's some royal viktor content for your weekend <3 i hope you like it!

Tags: @aggressa @obsessive-sapphic @shadow-pancake9 @agatemermaid @scorpio-echo @kalisbury @viktoryscreech @ivetoldamillionlies @twilightdollie @kaimerra

He smiles, faintly, as you just stare at him for a few seconds.

“Do you know who that is?” You ask him, voice quiet and words so rushed that they bleed into each other.

“Probably just Jayce,” He answers, “or my advisor. Or both.” He tilts his head a little, “Other people don’t usually bother knocking.”

You take one, steadying breath.

“I think I would prefer hiding in a cupboard, actually.” You tell him, swallowing around your anxiety. “Unless you want to explain to them who I am and what we’re doing.”

He meets your eyes.

And then he nods.

“I would propose the wardrobe.” He then says, his eyes drifting away from yours. You follow his gaze - to a large wooden closet, way bigger than what you were used to and far more decorative than what was actually necessary.

You nod.

And like in a daze, you walk to the wardrobe and step into it, trying your best not to think about it too much.

He gives you a glance before walking to open the door, waiting for you to disappear.

You meet his eyes and close the closet door as quietly as you can.

Carefully, you settle on sitting down on the floor, pulling your knees up to your chest and wrapping your arms around them.

Try not to think about it too much.

You can hear him talk to somebody, but you can’t make out what they’re saying.

So you just sit in the darkness, trying to ignore the fact that you were in the King’s wardrobe, and hope that whoever that was had no particular interest in his clothes.

You stare at the sliver of light shining through from under the door, and try not to breathe too loudly. Realistically, no-one would have any reason to suspect that he had a person hiding in a closet, but you still couldn’t entirely ignore the anxiety that was buzzing on your skin like static.

Taking a deep and forcefully steady breath, you close your eyes and try to think about something else. Something unrelated.

Your brain seems to be drawing a blank, however. Somehow every train of thought seems to circle back to Viktor.

Was he really as sad as he seemed? How could it be that someone so powerful was simultaneously so chained down?

You hadn’t known this version of him very long yet, but it seemed like he just couldn’t…do the things he wanted to do. Even things as simple as going out when and where he wanted, or reading books without having to steal them. Or choosing how he has his tea.

The thought of it made your heart ache.

The most powerful man in all the land, and you felt sorry for him.

You understood it, on some sick twisted level; it made sense that such a public figure couldn’t act just any way he wanted. But still, the level of control his board of advisors had him under seemed excessive, and-

quietly, you wonder if he’s ever really been happy. If he’s ever truly felt free.

Based on your recent conversations, you doubted it. It seemed like he’s always been under some guideline or another. How to act. How to speak. How to dress, how to look, how to behave.

It sounded exhausting.

Sure, you had to think about the way you acted, too, but nowhere near that much.

Now that you’d seen him like this – alone, in private, without the burden of other people’s eyes – the way he acted in public had started to look more and more like a costume. A mask. A shield.

It made sense.

But it broke your heart, a little bit.

You were pretty sure he didn’t have the luxury of putting down that shield very often.

Taking another forcefully steady breath, you open your eyes into the darkness and gently lean your head back against the wall.

And then you’re suddenly pulled out of your thoughts back into the present. You can hear footsteps coming closer – his, you can hear the cane tap against the floor if you strain your ears – and listening more closely, you realize that there’s no other sounds.

You hope that that means that the other person has left.

You don’t have time to start panicking about the alternative before he opens the closet door and floods the small space with light. You squint your eyes, trying to adjust after the darkness, and look up at him.

“It was Jayce.” He says, voice quiet and calm. “He’s gone now. Just wanted my thoughts on something.”

You nod slowly, your eyes starting to adjust to the light.

He is holding out a hand.

Slowly, you take it, pushing yourself up off the floor and letting him help.

“Thanks,” You breathe out quietly as you stand up again, stretching out your neck from side to side and brushing out your clothes.

He smiles faintly, and nods in response.

“How was it?” He asks, not looking at you, and you tilt your head in confusion.

“How was what?”

“Hiding in a closet.” He explains, meeting your eyes, and looking at you expectantly.

You nod slowly. “Not ideal,” You answer, “though I would guess that this is more spacious than the pantry.”

He breathes out a quiet hum. “I think you’re correct.”

You look at him for a moment. “You’re not mad about that, are you?”

He smiles faintly. “On the contrary.” He says, “That was probably the most exciting thing that has happened to me in years. Besides, now I can tell you that the pantry definitely is smaller than my wardrobe. So it was not a wasted effort. Information was gained.”

You just blink at him, taking that in. “So you’re easily entertained, then?”

“I do not get out much.”

He meets your eyes, and smiles again, in that barely-there kind of way that would have been easy to miss if you hadn’t been paying attention. It was small and faint and gone quickly, but still held a thousand times more emotion than those public smiles he wore when he had to appear in front of crowds.

“Well,” He adds, “not legally, at least.”

“I thought you were supposed to be making the laws.” You point out, trying to push down the instinct fighting against being this casual with him.

You knew he didn’t really mean it like that, and it wasn’t an actual law that dictated how he was supposed to act, but this was the first thought you had, so you decided to run with it.

“That doesn’t mean I agree with them.” He answers without missing a beat, turning his eyes away from you again. “Believe me, there would not be so many rules that keep me on a leash if I had a choice about the matter.” His voice turns a little bit bitter towards the end of the sentence, but you ignore that out of courtesy.

“Well,” You say after a small pause that’s maybe just half a second too long, “I’m glad I could bring some illegal excitement into your life.”

He breathes out a quiet chuckle. “Likewise.”

Then, he glances at a clock on the wall. “But, unless you’d prefer some more illegal excitement in your life, I would say that now would be a good time for you to sneak out. The guards are about to change shifts.”

You look at the clock too, and then nod. “I think I would prefer getting back to my quarters without being questioned about what I was doing up here.”

He smiles gently. “Go the same way we came in. It should be empty.”

“Okay.” You nod again, and lick your lips. “And…thanks for letting me help, Viktor. And introducing me to Rio, she’s cute. Tell her I had fun.”

He blinks at you, and then he nods, in a small barely-there movement.

Before you make it out of the door, he stops you with a gentle call of your name.

You turn to look at him expectantly.

“If you ever feel like breaking in here, I would recommend the north stairway.” He says, voice quiet and casual, and without quite meeting your eyes. “The floors there don’t creak, and the guards tend to avoid it.”

You just stare at him for a moment.

And then you nod, even though he can’t see it.

“Thanks for the tip,” You answer in one exhale, “Goodnight, Viktor.”

You can see one corner of his lips quirk up as he bows his head slightly, before you slip out of the room.

You’re not sure if he responds, but if he does, it’s to an empty room.

Next

[ballorawan740]

SCP Scenarios: When their kids swear at them (REQUESTED)

Main Masterlist | SCP Scenarios Masterlist | My Works Masterlist | Rules | Request | Socials | My Original Post

Requested by: @Astro_KeySimp

WARNING: Swearing (sorta)

Ok so I kinda made the reader into the child since don't remember if you wanted the reader to be a child or not, so if it wasn't to your liking, then I'm sorry, but I can make a separate version on where the reader isn't the child

It kinda became more of the SCPs and doctors being dads than their reaction to their kids swearing

SCP 073 (Cain)

Cain was walking around with you since you were bored and there wasn't anything to do

Being unaware of what some of the staff were saying, ye went over to grab you some food for later in case you got hungry

Once you both went back, he watched you play with some Legos and was talking as if it was your Lego friends talking to you

Cain looked away for just 10 seconds and heard you shout out "Wow! He said that her baby's such a bi-" which shocked him as he heard it

Cain looked around and made sure that nobody was around the room and was somewhat surprised that you was the one saying this

Being a good dad he is, Cain explained to you carefuly that you shouldn't say that word because it's bad

And being a sweet shy child, you obliged and stopped saying the word

Til this day, Cain had no idea about where and who you've heard the word from and is very much more self-aware

SCP 076-2 (Abel)

Abel is that type of dad who would teach you all the bad words and encourages you to say them

It's the researchers who had to teach you top not to say those words

One time, Dr Glass came in to examine you and had rewarded you as usual since you were so cooperative

You drew a picture of you and Abel talking in a garden with bright coloured flowers

Simon asked if he could see your drawing and saw that the conversation you and your dad had was those of swearing

This surprised Simon since you knew so many at such a young age but wasn't totally shocked since he knew that you were Abel's child

And knowing him, he wouldn't teach you to be nice, so Simon took the job as a mother hen and taught you to not use those words around people

SCP 999 (Tickle Monster)

Ok, so I'll keep this SCP short since I, again, don't know what I should write for this adorable, squicky, neon-orange, bubby blob

Another SCP who doesn't cuss

This adorable squishy boi here was about to have a heart attack when he heard you swear fir the first time

He had to ask you worryingly where you heard that phrase and you just said some guy wearing a white jacket

999 sighed knowing that you'll grow and couldn't do anything to stop it

He did, however, mention that you should try and avoid saying those things to anyone and that they'd most likely have a heart attack since you were his child and you won the genetic lottery for being the cutest and outgoing child in the world

The only other person who knew of this was Dr Glass (sucks to be him ngl, he do be a mother to everyone) and he had to help poor 999 with teaching you better words

SCP 682 (Hard to Destroy Reptile)

YAY! Another SCP who would teach their kid to swear

682 has such a dirty mouth like 076 and would 100% teach you all the words he knows

Similarly to what happened with Abel, you were taken for an interview with Dr Sophia Light since she was assigned to you

She's such a sweet and kind doctor to be around and would teach you anything and everything you would probably need to know all the while keeping an eye on you in case you become overly aggressive like 682

You were just eating some sweets Lights had given you for good behaviour and overheard some researchers swear

Remembering what your dad had taught you, you just repeated those curse words while clapping at your achievement

This had shocked Sophia and that researcher since you were known to be a moderately shy and quiet child who normally wouldn't say those things despite being 682's child

Sophia had to ask if you understood the meaning of those words and shook your head as an indicator for no

She had to carefully find her words and told you to never speak of those words again and took you back to 682's cell

You went and hugged your dad and told him that you learnt from the doctor that those curse words were bad and neither of you should say them

682 had a headache after that

SCP 049 (Plague Doctor)

I have a hard time thinking that 049 would teach his child to cuss and would avoid swearing in front of them at all cost

Like, he barely swears anyways but he wants to stay classy and sassy for his innocent child

Just like the other day, his kiddo, you, was curious about the whole surgery thingy he does on the dead bodies, so you asked him to teach you and so he did (like the good father we nevah had)

So you learnt some new, yet difficult, words (cuz we all have a nonexistent pea-sized brain) and somehow, you managed to fit in a curse word

This did surprise 049 as he had remembered that he didn't teach you those foul words

He had to give you a talk about using such words and you teared up since you thought that people used them to express their affection to others

Unsurprisingly, 049 took his sweet time looking for the guy who 'taught' you this and wanted to use him as a case study for your future lessons

SCP 035 (Possessive Mask)

Another parent with such an amazing influence on children

035 would teach and enable you to use swearing as a form of expression

So you were free to say whatever you want as long as they aren't directed to our mask here, especially if it's in a negative way

Otherwise, you'd be punished (No not like that! He'll just ground you from your favourite TV show/movie)

The researchers were surprised, not about you swearing, but how you use them through expression

Except for this poor guy who was new to the foundation and bumped into you by accident

This rookie found himself listening to you cursing like a sailor (maybe not that much but more or less on the same level as Samuel L Jackson)

Word got out and everybody laughed at the poor rookie and told him more about your background and how you love to swear (apparently swearing will prolong your life, so you'll basically be immortal here)

035 was impressed by the whole ordeal and rewarded you with more shows to watch whenever you're both free

SCP 105 (Iris)

Iris would accidentally swear in front of you and whenever she realises it, she would tell you to not swear at people since it wasn't very nice

So she would use words to replace the swearing like "oh fudging hell not now" and "no sugar honey ice tea"

The foundation felt that it was slightly unnecessary but went with it anyways

They'd even go as far as saying that it's ridiculous, but who are they to judge?

Iris was your mother and she's a single mum too, so she felt the need to be overly beating but would occasionally let you decide on your own since you were only 12

The foundation members did tell her that you will eventually grow and more of these words will be used but she just hesitates

As a teen, you did begin to use foul words more often and Iris would argue about how you're using them, especially towards her, your own mother

Needless to say, you both felt bad and made up

SCP 106 (Old Man)

Now this old man right here doesn't exactly speak, or at least very rarely

And if he does, he'll most likely be talking to you or the foundation staff if he needed some help finding you

He'll most likely be able to understand what the researchers are saying, even if they aren't speaking English

My own personal hc is that 106 understands English, German, Spanish, French, Chinese, Arabic and Indonesian and probably many others

Every now and again, somebody would come in and teach you new words and give other lessons like maths and poetry (our favourite)

You came back home to tell him all the things you've learnt as he watched you in awe as he braided your hair

You've even used some new phrases, including swear words while talking and 106 was pretty impressed

I feel that he's quite neutral with swear words since words are words and are used as a form of verbal communication

So I don't think they'll be much change in his behaviour to whether you're swearing or not

SCP 096 (Shy Guy)

Now with 096, all he does is scream

So basically, somebody else would have to teach you some words

It's not to say that 096 is a dumb animalistic creature with no soul and just kills people who look at his face

He isn't stupid since he manages to find anyone who looked at his face from the other side of the globe

And he seems to understand what the researchers are saying, or at least on a more intermediate to moderate level

You'll learn about swear words from the other researchers, whether they'll be teaching it to you intentionally or you've overheard them

The foundation could really care less, but would at least prefer that you chill a bit if you got carried away

096 would act all cheery when you learn more new things as it's not like the foundation would let him out anyway, so he'll be living the outside world life from you (How relatable, but more with babysitting and dating, cuz I'm too pretty for anyone to date XD)

Like with 106, I don't think 096 would have any special reaction towards swearing, but would probably be screaming internally for a bit since he knows that it isn't a nice word

Dr Jack bright

This mf right here is one of those parents who would be kind but firm

Bright would most definitely give in to your curiosity and teach you whatever you want to learn but would warn you of the dangers

Depending on what it is, he would even go as far as giving you your own personal guard who would stay with you and train you

And unfortunately, this guard has such a foul mouth, so you're constantly exposed to such words

Luckily for the both of you, Jack Bright doesn't really care about swearing as long as you're not being extremely inappropriate if you were to work

He would even joke around with you sometimes and would even start the conversation with swearing

For instance, he'd just surprise you with a "Yeet his mf outta my sheithole"

And yes, you did laugh at his antics

Some would even say that you're an exact clone of him but more stable (for now)

Well, Bright is an amazing dad, but I'd say just below Dr Glass

Or maybe even on par with him

Like Bright is a goofy dad that has all the terrible dad jokes and Glass would be the type of dad to look out for his kid

Dr Simon Glass

Dr Glass would most definitely avoid using swear words, especially if you were under 15

Even if you were over 15, he'd still avoid swearing unless he wants to make a joke or 2

So most of the time, you'd learn all the swearing from other people and SCPs

Sometimes you would swear by accident and Glass would just look at you, slightly disappointed

I'd say he doesn't exactly care about you swearing per see, but would rather you avoid it

It's cuz Simon is the best dad a dad could ever dad and nobody could prove me wrong here

He's also one of the top best dads compared to the others on the list

He's basically your best friend so he'd let you vent and its the 1 time he'd let you swear to show your emotions

Simon would 100% know your thoughts and behaviour

He's just that good at reading people, especially you - almost to the point where people would say he's an SCP cuz I swear he's just empathic and telepathic

As mentioned before, Glass would be the type of dad to care for your mental health

It's not that the others don't, it's just that Glass is a top their God of Psychology and would come to you before you even know you have depression

He would even crack a joke sometimes

So every so often, he would shout out "LANGUAGE!!!" from across the room before you could even bat an eye and say anything

Dr Alto Clef

Another top tier dad, but swearing addition

Your godfather would literally be Jack Bright

Then it's Kondraki and Glass

He would let you swear on a daily basis and would join you

Sometimes you be looking at your Oppas/Noonas and be like: "Oh fxxk me!" and Clef, who's in the next room, be like: "Yeah, fxxk me too!" (Yes but no sis! No incest pls!)

Other times, you would be in the same room as Clef and Bright and you'd join them in being chaotic

And poor Kondraki  is just there at the back trying to do his work peacefully

One time, Kondraki had to grab a Simon Glass to help stop the chaotic trio

And OML did it end so well

You were easy to manage tbh, with the exception of you swearing

Clef and Bright would most definitely encourage you to swear more

Especially Clef since he does have a twisted sense of humour

Dr Benjamin Kondraki

Kondraki is totally the type of person who would tell their kid to mind their own language

But he secretly doesn't care and his child knows it

His style of parenting is similar to Simon's

And yes, Simon is your #1 godfather/uncle

You'd go to him for emotional support since Kondraki sucks at that

Sometimes you'd swear at him and he'd get mad though

So yeah, running to Glass is a wonderful idea

And we all know that Kondraki doesn't mean what he said

He's just extremely introverted, but he's rather sensible - Usually...

Anyways, he would ask Simon on tips and advice on how to get you to stop swearing so much and he just gave Benjamin a parenting book (Like fr guys, let Glass have some rest, he's tired of babysitting over 100 dozens of pets in the zoo and all the other babies who work in it)

[thirillia]

Since I’m currently rewatching SDC in the English dub, here are some bits, with or without context, that made me smirk the second time around with more grasp on the language and that are mostly just ... bizarrely wacky. (Sometimes I’m switching between languages just for... science)

(Here is the DiU version)

• *Dio caressing his naked torso* “JONATHAN JOESTAR’S BODY!”

• “Oh I get it now” *tosses painting into a tree*

• “Soooo... while Jojo is taking off his pants...”

• “No one can just deflect the Emerald Splash!” (A classic)

• “This green, stripy thing looks like a shiny melon.”

• not dialogue, but that one shot of the spoon with the “menacing” dancing around it

• “Non non non non non!”

• “Quit your bitchin’ old man.”

• *about flesh buds* “Now we can all be BUDDIES!”

• “Tell ‘em Avdol!” *thumbs down*

• “Let’s figure out what our strategy will be when Soul Sacrifice [Devo] attacks.” *Polnareff, bleeding all over, clearly coming from a fight* “You’re kidding, right?”

• “You vile little cockroach dick!”

• “Oh yes... I do love coconuts.”

• “Have wu wost wur sense of wumour? :’(((“

• “Wait a minute.... this isn’t Kakyoin!” (It took for the imposters face to melt until he figured that out.)

• “Gaze upon my handsome face with ENVY!”

• “I was sunbathing by the pool.” “With your school uniform?” “Yes, why not?”

• “Is this your kid?” “No.” “Then shut up.”

• “Do you understannnnnnnd?”

• “ORA!” “What do you mean ‘Ora’?”

• “Time to power-up with some crustATIANS!”

• “Licklicklicklicklicklick Hey look Jojo! Flamingos in flight!”

(honestly, the whole Yellow Temperance episode is a train wreck)

• “Oh crap. Somebody has already stolen my wallet.”

• “It better be something amazing. Something gorgeous and sophisticated that suits a frenchman such as moi.” “Which means it doesn’t matter. He’ll eat anything.”

• “That piece of shit’s corpse is two or three thousand meters that way if you wanna take a look.” “OKAY I WILL!”

• “Shit, Jesus, Mary and Joseph!” (A quote by Joseph)

• again, not a quote, but Joseph throwing car keys and them getting stuck in Pol’s hair

• “Not bad Kakyoin. Got a question for ya: You like SUMO?!” *one risky rescue later* “Yeah I like sumo.”

• “Holy SHIT we’ve got ZOmbies!”

• *sigh* “Of course he’s taking a shit.”

• *with enthusiasm* “HE’S SUFFOCATING THAT BITCH!”

• “You were licking what, again?”

• “You can’t touch me. I’m DAN of STEEL.” (Steely Dan’s localised name makes me wheeze)

• “How am I feeling YOUR knuckles cracking in MY PROSTHETIC HAND?”

• “I was about to explain my powers when you hit me!”

• “Are you trying to kill your own grandfather?” “This is Jotaro we’re talking about. He might be.”

• “You’re a rather sturdy bridge, aren’t’cha?”

• “Go ahead and stab me then.” (Ugh. mood.)

• “You’re forbidden from making stupid camel jokes!”

• two identical rocks in the desert

• “It wasn’t a dream about stands. A stand was in my dream!” “That’s what I said. You were having a dream about stands.”

• “Baby...? STAND?!?!”

• “HoLY SHITbricks.”

• “Lali-HOE” (It’s not written that way... but it sounds like that)

• “Now it’s time for your punishment, baby.”

• “I REALLY don’t care that you’re a baby. I’ll snap your neck like a twig.”

• *high pitched* “Ithinkthat’sthecruelestthingyou’veeverdoneto meeee”

• *Joseph having just lost his hand once again* “Can you help me out, Jotaro?” “Do it yourself.”

• “Your underwear is showing.” “YEAH NICE!”

• “That damn tongue agaaaiiin!”

• “It’s been quite the adventure. We’ve gone inside a brain and even inside our dreams. Oh right. You don’t remember that.”

• “It’s a HELICOPTER!” “Thanks for the update, Captain Obvious.”

• “Sorry Polnareff, I’d like to keep my hair.” *hair flip*

• *Iggy, a literal dog, eating gum* “The least he could do is take the wrapping off.”

• “I’mgonnaneedaCHIROPRACTOR!”

• “You can just use your Emerald Splash and call it a day, can’t you?” “Yes, but I don’t want to.”

• “UGH yes. Sleep, while WE fight to surVIVE!”

• “Tiiiiime..TO DIE!”

• “coooooOOOLA?!”

• “Yow. You know, yow. Actually, I was pointing out that there was a ... cyow over there!”

• “Waaait a second... is that a nasty old suckerrr?”

• “That’s the last time I go anywhere with him.”

• “So you wipe your ass... with SAND?!”

• “I think I’ll pull a Polnareff and wait till we get back to the hotel.”

• Avdol being completely and utterly DONE by the time they arrive in Egypt “I don’t deserve this.” You’re right. You don’t. I’m sorry you have to put up with those morons.

• “Polnareff, keep your guard up” “Have you forgotten who you’re talking to?”

(My favourite thing about this one is that Polnareff enunciates this in his favour, as if he has not been the sole target of half of the Stand attacks they face)

• “What do you mean by ‘evil eyes’? My non-evil parents gave me those baby blues!”

• “This hurts like a BIIIIITCH!”

• “Here’s a fun idea: Let’s turn YOU into a fetus!”

• “Hm. Someone falling from a window covered in blood. You don’t see that everyday.”

• “Thing is, I’m something of a GAMbling maaaan!”

• “Do you have any idea what surface tension is, Barbie?”

• “Go aheat, Mr. Jostrrrr.”

• Jotaro’s eyebrow game being so intense that it gives people panic attacks

• “Stick your fingers all the way up Polnareff’s nose and then.. we’ll WIN!”

• *doing exactly that* “HELL YEAH!”

• “LOOK where my tongue is pointing!”

• “Need me to stick my fingers up somethin’? I will!”

• “I’ve gotta HAUL AAAAASSSS!!!”

• *in terror* “My watch is FAST! :’((“

• “What are ya STUPID?!” (Iggy’s English voice gives me life)

• “This creep’s a FUCKING KILLING MACHINE!”

(it kills me that Iggy is the one allowed to say “fuck” in the dub, if I heard it right)

• “First I loose my leg and now some demon bird wants me flattened into frozen dinner!”

• “In other words, we beat the shit out of Dio.”

• “Would you care to... wet your whistle?”

• “You’re about as helpful as a cramp in a relay race!”

• “The hell did you do to his arm?!”

• “Serect yr cur”

• *gasp* “He’s going for a turbo start!”

• “One doesn’t simply get those skills by playing videos games!”

• “I still have more SPEED than YOU D’ARBY!”

• “Why are you sitting down? We should be kicking Geppetto’s ass!”

• “OH! That’s a Baseball!”

• “Da first pitch!”

• “Jotaro! Pitch the BALL!”

• “I am a video game genius. I can’t lose. I am a video game GENIUS. I CAN’T LOSE!”

• “Well of course I did, ma’boy, I can read you like. A. Book.”

• “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! .... YES!”

• *terrified* “Are you gonna do the ‘Ora Ora’ thing?”

• “Well, I sincerely hope that for your sake, your next victim into the void will be one of the Joestars and not my boudoir.”

• “His name: Billie Jean! His fate: Instant defeat!”

• “Come at me, you demented pinball!”

• “Waddaya know? The answer ended up being option 3: Life’s a bitch!”

• the guy Suzie films on the streets has Bakugou’s English va I cannot mishear that

• “I gotta hand it to him, Dio’s got some pretty nice curtains.”

• Kakyoin: reasonable metaphor for the immense power Dio omits. Joseph: “It felt like somebody shoving an icicle up my ass!”

• “There is no need to kill a helpless senator..?” “WRONG.”

• “He even dodged the concentrated Splash?” (Honey...)

• “Woman. How about you make yourself useful and fetch my leg?”

• “Nervous yet, sweetheart?”

• “I mean he turned my favourite uniform into Swiss cheese....” (he sounds so genuinely sad)

• “You...-bastard.... it’s-not ..over-yet!” *immediately falls unconscious*

• *Dio bleeding from everywhere and flying through the air like a ragdoll* “Once again, my genius has TRIUMPHED over you!”

• you know, they really tried with the “Oras” and the “Mudas” and I respect them for that, but they didn’t dare touch the WRYYYY. It’s just an “AAARRGH” but that’s okay

• “I’M GOING TO ROLL ALL OVER YOU!” doesn’t have the same refine as ROOOAAAD-O-ROLLA DA! but it works...

• “I don’t got any kindness for your sorry, undead ass.”

• “I hear a PULSE?” “My GOD! Brian activity too!”