#if this post gets out of its target audience i'm fucke

[flyswhumpcenter]

How to lose at a card game on motorcycles against someone who can barely draw a card, a guide by Hermann of Team Catastrophe

As you may've guessed from my current profile pic, Yu-Gi-Oh brainrot is in full swing. Love my silly card games and all of the fucked-up shit that happens in it, sometimes.

I think I've seen Duel Monsters, the first series by Studio Gallop, fly past me on whump gif collections, but I've not seen anyone bring up how bonkers with injuries and suffering and shit future series get - for half the waiting time as well!

As you may've gleaned from the title, we're going to talk about 5Ds tonight. Long story short: Yusei is a dirt-poor orphan who drives a cool motorcycle in a dystopian society, he wins at card games, he has a swag birthmark that links him to like 4 other shmucks and they save the world. After Yusei and his friends Jack (the bold blond one with all the memes), Aki (the badass one), the twins Lua and Luca (we love them in this house) and Crow (some guy) save the damn world, they partake in a tournament where they play card games on motorcycles in teams of three. That's all the context you need for now.

Anyway, this is gonna be Long, so grab a snack and a can of whatever beverage you like best, because it's time I tell you about the one time a guy with a sure-fire way to severely injure his opponent lost against a guy with a broken shoulder. Strap in.

Okay, so maybe I'll give some more context

Before we can actually deal with Hermann YGO5Ds being mega cringe, we need to get some info out of the way.

Episode 97 of 5Ds is set right before the WRGP, the competition in whcich our Signers are going to compete. They just founded their team, Team 5Ds (title drop), which is composed of Jack, Crow and Yusei, in this order of who drives when. Feel free to forget said order, we won't need it where we're going.

At this point in the show, Crow just got his super duper dragon, Black-Winged Dragon, after solving a murder by accident. Yusei gets challenged by the smucks at Team Unicorn so they can trick Team 5Ds for their tag duel against them. Sherry says some weird stuff and drives away in French. Jack and Crow visit their orphanage and chat with their foster mom Martha. Kids Crow takes care of encourage him to do his best in the upcoming WRGP. Gee, that'd be too bad if something happened to him!

Anyway, something happens to him when going on a morning drive on Dah Motorcycle after some spooky mysterious malfunction locks the Blackbird's wheels.

woops, jinxed it.

Kind of like a bird who'd smashed head first into a window, or a stick of butter let loose in a supermarket, Crow slides on the ground. He doesn't lose consciousness, but when he tries getting up, he quickly realizes putting his right hand on the ground hurts like a bitch and - woop would you look at that.

Yeah that don't look too good.

That's only the start of our issues, however, because soon enough, ay hope Crow could've had of this being just a big-ass bruise gets smashed into the ground.

In a surprising amount of realism from a series about people playing card games on motorcycles and occasionally fighting off gods on motorcycles while still playing card games, the doctor stares at our guy and say "yeah uh that's gonna take a month to fully heal". Problem, WRGP preliminaries are in, like, three days, so Crow goes into panic mode and goes through three stages of grief at once. Y'know, denial, anger, bargaining, anger again, sadness.

TL;DR this "I don't need a cast" claim isn't going very well.

Team 5Ds is left scrambling because, without a third driver, they're at a disadvantage of 8K Life Points in total against 12K for a full team. Aki, who recently got her Turbo Duellist:tm: licence, decides she's gonna be their second wheeler. Crow, who initially sulks, sucks it in and decides to train Aki instead.

And this is how we got here... unless?

Sabotage? In my card games on motorcycles tournament? It's more likely than you think!

We skip ahead to episode 104 now. Team 5Ds has won against Team Unicorn thanks to the power of Yusei's plot armour and protag swag, and now, they're bound to go against Team Catastrophe, who are no-name criminals from Satellite, the former slums Yusei, Jack and Crow all grew up in. Oh also Team Unicorn's Andre and Jean fucking crashed against Catastrophe, that's kind of a big deal I guess.

After watching the local main antags do antag stuff, we cut to Yusei and Bruno (Team 5Ds' mechanic, forgot to mention him until now, woops) at home doing stuff on the bikes. Crow comes back from the hospital for a routine checkup. When asked abot his shoulder, he proves to be as trustworthy with the sentence "I'm fine" as Yusei "haha shrapnel in my abdomen is no big deal" Fudo:

Our guys are soon discussing what happened with Breo, at which point Carly (sweet, shafted Carly) provides them with vital info about what happened in the form of duel footage: during Team Unicorn's duel with Team Catastrophe, there was a monster named Hook, the Hidden Knight on the field both time a crash happened. The gang quickly connects the dots with what happened with the Blackbird. Conclusion: somehow, those Catastrophe guys can lock their opponents' rear wheels and it looks to be related to Hook.

And then it happens again, this time to Aki.

So, things are kind of bad. Aki's mega down for the count, there're criminals on the loose, and Crow's this close to just beating them up (with only one arm, yes). With a single, piercing gaze, Yusei convinces him to just face them like a true man: in a card game. Crow takes that as a hint that, actually, it's his job to do. Jack is like "what the hell are you doing bird brain" while Yusei is just. marveling at the sight of medical equipment without child safety locks.

Crow vows revenge, and eyecatch.

Can you be complicit in painful driving? Asking for a friend.

It's the day of Team 5Ds VS Team Catastrophe! Everyone's excited and Officer Ushio, the only good cop ever, wants to take that whole sabotage thing to the authority - but Breo tells him no, actually, he should let th ebunch of 18-to-20-yos take care of it, to avenge Andre and Jean or something. (To be exact, Jack is 20, Yusei is 19, and Crow is 18. wait crow was a minor in the dark signers arc?)

Team Catastrophe gets boo'd, Team 5Ds gets a solid round of praise, I try to ignore how Carly and Mikage have been reduced to Jack Atlas fangirls and - oh.

Crow walks up to them to clearly announce he's here to get revenge for Aki, and Andre, and Jean, and himself too. Hermann (of Team Catastrophe glory, it's the guy on the right) taunts him on his physical condition, Crow smirks, and tells them he knows what they're playing. The guy not on the picture is like "shit they're sussing us out", Hermann scoffs it off.

The first round sees Hermann and Crow facing off. This absolute banger of a sentence is said:

Meanwhile, in Team 5Ds' pit, Luca's worried about Crow, since his shoulder hasn't healed fully yet. Jack tells them Crow's a stubborn bastard and wouldn't take no for an answer, Lua has no fear in his heart whatsoever and Yusei doesn't add anything before the duel starts.

As always in Riding/Turbo Duels, the first turn is determined by who can close the first corner first. It's already not going well for Crow.

Nonetheless, shonen shit gets said.

Hermann quickly understands what's going on with his opponent and goes for the kill right off the bat.

Fairly logically, Crow loses most of his balance and, most importantly, the first turn.

For the needs of this just not being Yugipedia's duel description from this episode, I'll make actual duelling details short. What's important here is that Hermann summons "Hook, the Hidden Knight", and defeating it is a pain in the ass for Crow due to his Monster Effect.

What's more important to us, and will explain the title of this post, is that it's not just shoving your arm right into Crow's shoulder that'll make him grit his teeth in pain - even drawing a card is enough.

So is drawing a card, actually. I'm no gif maker, so I can't show it animated, but his hand jerks when just putting "Blackwing - Sirocco of the Dawn" on his field.

Yeah, that's gonna be a long one for our bird guy.

Anyway, whenever "Hook, the Hidden Knight" uses its effect, Shadow Hook, this happens:

This duel is also a lot of Crow evading one (1) hook that's somehow made out of solid shadow, so ths is going to be the sole time I show this. Episode 104 ends on this, so onto the next episode we go.

Formula 1 forces you to do pit stops even if you're Max Verstappen, but this doesn't apply to Riding Duels I guess

Episode 105 greets us back to Crow understanding the ugly-ass monster in front of him is what's attacking all those people. Right on cue for his shoulder to mess with him again!

Now painfully aware he needs to make this duel short, he sets his entire hand on the field and ends his turn. This is what clues Jack and Yusei on the fact their foster brother is really not doing so hot.

Hermann takes his turn. Of course, Hooky Hook attacks again, so that means Crow has to go on dodging duties, which triggers more pain in his shoulder (the animation is recycled, so no point in showing it here). The MC doesn't suspect the Shoulder Inquisition, so he wonders if the Blackbird isn't going insane. Hermann sets a card and ends his turn.

Crow is once again left to wonder how n the hell what's happening to him is even possible, but he's cut off in his thoughts by - you guessed it.

Jack, who like last week was dragging his bleeding ass to the pit stop after crashing against Andre of Unicorn (a whole grandiose moment of 5Ds that was too), declares this:

Jack asks Lua to ask Crow to make a pit stop; and that's the boy does. He screams "yo, dude, stop for now, I'll take care of it". Crow replies that, no, he'll destroy that monster first. And so he drives by the pit lane and that's it.

Yusei's opinion on the matter is that everyone needs to trust in their friend, while Jack declares in the most tsundere way possible he won't be hold responsible for what happens to his pal. Don't be fooled, tho, drawing a card is still a literal pain for Crow.

Crow takes his turn. Duelling happens, with him coming prepare for Hook's effect, but not Hermann's other Monster's effect. Still, he manages to deal 2000 LP of damage after taking 1600 himsel, from Hook's Effect activating twice. This time, however, when Shadow Hook activates, he has to straight up jump in the air to evade the hook, so he has to land - and yeah that hurts, big fucking oop.

To make a long story short of the last turn in this duel, Crow summons his new ace Black-Winged Dragon, kills off Hook, reduces Hermann's LP from 2000 to 0, but Hermann wants to keep the damn thing on the field. Crow's forced to active "Gravity Collapses", a Trap card that sends a Synchro Monster on his field to the graveyard in exchange for the negation of that second summoning. Activating the trap hurts tho woops, but he must be fast, cuz that thing is coming for him.

"Gravity Collapses" does its thing, Hermann's finished, no more Hook shenanigans to come. Revenge taken, Monster beaten, time for adrenaline to run off.

And so, with still 800LP remaining, Crow takes his pit stop, finally. Yusei and Jack both rush to him, and the faces their brother makes when taking off his helmet and passing the baton to Jack are quite a sight to behold.

So, I ran out of pictures for this post (woops), so just know Jack beats the ass of Catastrophe's second wheeler so bad they have to forfeit. Then the plot kicks in again. Crow gets to sit a bit of it out because his shoulder is, actually, still a source of pain.

And so this is how you too can lose to someone with a broken shoulder despite having a weapon. Good grief.

[piosplayhouse]

I don't know if you'll answer but I need to know the lore behind sexy times with Wangxian, like is it a fanfic? why do people hate the author??

It was the longest mdzs fic posted during its time in 2021 and gained extreme notoriety for its absurdly long tag list, frequent update schedule that consistently forced anyone scrolling any of its tags to see it at the top of their page, and escalating poor, racist, and trolling authorial behavior that ultimately culminated in the author virtual1979 being suspended from ao3 for a month because she posting an author's note saying she hoped that all her haters would contract covid and die. She deleted the fic from ao3 a little while after this happened, ig bc she wasn't getting enough attention anymore, but allegedly the thing's still up on dreamwidth under strict friendslock. The fan lore article goes pretty in depth about it:

The best summary for why it pissed people off so much is really just showing you these screenshots of what the fic looked like towards the end of its life on desktop and mobile (be warned opening the full image):

From my personal experience:

from 2019 up until around 2021 the fic really was just a normal-ish, if very strangely written and kinky, wangxian porn fic about them basically just fucking around post canon and enjoying day to day life. It updated pretty frequently and had a fair amount of tags because the author was literally just tagging anything that she wrote. But like the first few hundred, maybe even a thousand tags were pretty accurate to what the fic was because of that, and were relatively manageable for the first few years that it didn't pick up any attention really.

At some point in 2021 when cql was really starting to blow up online and the tag count was starting to pile up to the point of annoyance, the fic started receiving some comments that were just like "hey can you try to cut down on tags, I don't think it's necessary to be so specific as to tag 'Korean food' or 'eggs' or whatnot". The author did not share this idea, evidently, and instead built a grudge against commenters who would tell her to delete tags, subsequently adding more and more as time went on.

As the tag count and updates increased, the content of the fic did too-- it got a lot, lot weirder. I'm sure someone's saved it all somewhere but for reference it spun out into what I can only describe as like if Rick and Morty's plot was cut to be just the parts of the show with underage/incest plotlines with All Tomorrows level sex dystopian world building exclusively to elicit the most visceral audience reaction possible. Around this time is when more people started to notice the fic and its escalating tag issues, leading them to leaving more comments complaining about it, leading to the attention seeking author spitefully adding more tags. Around this time is when she also started adding fake tags that didn't apply to the story whatsoever (sorry to disappoint, "talking vagina" was one of those. I did check) just to boost the count, take up more space on people's screens, and bait people into commenting hate for attention.

By this time, it had become a fandom-wide annoyance as she had begun to tag entirely unrelated ships, therefore putting the near-daily updating titanic of a fic at the top of any mdzs-related tag. People were outraged about this, and calls came for ao3 to step in. Ao3 waffled around for a bit as there was no official rule at the time that imposed a tag limit, so there wasn't established ground to ban virtual1979 (who btw many people suspected of being 40 whole years old due to the username and allegedly some other internet sleuthing on Facebook or something). Meanwhile, she began to tag other fandoms-- tgcf, svsss, BTS, basically anything that would get a lot of attention and draw hate with the advent of The Monstrosity suddenly drowning out all other recently updated fics of the targeted fandoms.

People had been trying to retaliate without ao3 action, though, by coding their own themes/skins that would allow someone to block a user or work and other fic writers made their own parody, the "bland times with wangxian" collection, which were minimally tagged sfw shortfics typically featuring wangxian just doing laundry or things like that. A good amount of them were actually like just fics where wwx would explain to lwj how to install custom ao3 themes and block fics that were taking up too much space on his screen. Imo it was pretty funny, but these also sparked some controversy as people disagreed with fighting annoyance with more annoyance to people trying to find content.

Either shortly before or after ao3 staff said they'd step in due to an insane amount of reports and backlash, I forgot which atp, virtual1979 began perhaps the worst tagging spree of the fic's life by changing the title, many of the tags, and the summary to a slew of racial slurs, sexually explicit imagery, and other generally offensive statements. I'm pretty sure this came after the fic was temporarily hidden once, as this update gained considerably less attention than the rest of the tagging saga, but people were still rightfully pissed about it. Ultimately, like I mentioned before, the author was then suspended for a month for wishing covid and death on her haters, and attention seemed to die down during this time to the point where she didn't really fight much more when her suspension ended and deleted her account and the work shortly after. Again she seems to have moved to dreamwidth, but most have forgotten her and I'm not sure if her presence is public at all on there. But that's the story of the worst mdzs fic ever written

[cloudmancy]

ya know at first i thought your episode 18 posts were a little harsh but then i really thought about it and yeah. i actually agree with you on pretty much all of it. in my opinion one of the most frustrating parts of d20 is watching the intrepid heroes fail to put all the pieces together, and seeing that manifest as a slaughter fest against the rat grinders is disappointing. don’t get me wrong, i understand that we as the audience have a birds eye view and an easier time threading the story together. but still, kinda sucks :/

lumping all of these together because the rushed feeling of the season is definitely there and contributed to how the final conflict is just resolved via battle and not alternative means... I think there were several factors at play here. I'm still holding out hope for the final final episode but:

the way they filmed all of FHJY and its APs together in a very short timespan. FHSY is so developed and interesting plotwise and I feel that HAS to be because they got a whole week in between episodes/streams to sit and think about the information they received. (on that note I feel when APs are filmed directly after the episodes instead of in retrospective, there's very little to say or reflect on since you Just got out of the session and everything you have to say was likely already said during the play session.) the crunch filming + episode limit combo is just not good for health or coming to a satisfying conclusion of all narrative threads

dnd combat is just so inherently fucked as a conflict resolution tool and it's NOT built for anything aside from killing things. we see this firsthand how the rat grinders get reduced to their kits and not their characters (take oisin out first, cut off his head so he can't be revived) both by the cast and the fandom... which leads to some pretty upsetting conflict when you have people who really enjoy these characters as, well, characters and not targets with hit points!

we have GOTTA get one season that doesn't end directly with a final battle. please. we've gotta have one that does a big reveal, an episode to sit with that reveal, a final battle, and then a whole other roleplay episode after that battle to finish off the season. we cannot be doing 15 minute epilogues directly after coming off 4 hrs of dnd combat that is how we get neverafter and whatever the acoc finale was (adding FHJY finale to the list? I'm still holding out for the last episode to give us anything at all. bad kids being under influence of rage all battle reveal? please?)

[liveyun]

m i d n i g h t s | kth (m)

p a i r i n g. taehyung x female reader

g e n r e. friends to lovers + smut + fluff + angst

w. (M) plot? no plot? don't know? smoking + alcohol, mentions of parent death + parent negligency, mentions of abuse , corny stupid jokes + dom!taehyung, kissing, grinding, taehyung and his tongue and taeconda oof , so much of licking + consent because that's the most important thing + don't @ at me for the ending

w c. 5.5k +

m l i s t .

“ Seriously, Taehyung? ”

“ Hm? ”

You narrow your eyes as you watch the half naked man fiddle with his phone, almost looking like he's pretty drunk, but you know it's all for the camera.

“ People you know, call it thirst trap snaps. . ” The shit eating grin on his face is back, and you can't really help but scoff at the smirking man infront of you.

“ In this lighting, I fear your audience would be even able to make out the difference between your hair and the surroundings, for the sake of god. . ” You tap in the cigarette trapped between your pointer and your middle finger, the smoke is gentle and calm: making its way to higher altitudes.

“ That's what it is. When you can barely figure out anything, there's the real fun. ”

“ Aren't you a big time sadist? ” This isn't a question, almost as if you're teasing him. When he speaks next, you feel that stupid smirk on his face,

“ No shit. ”

There as along, it was. You inhale slowly the stick of tobacco within your grasp, and even if you feel your throat burn dry, you can't help it.

It felt relaxing. The dull throb in your head stops pounding slowly as you retreat back to lean on the headboard, watching the man infront of you again fiddle with his phone in his hands. At times you feel like laughing to see how even his phone feels to be tiny when in grasp within his huge ass palms, and sometimes you can't help but wonder…what if.

Anyway.

“ Who're your target audience, by the way? ” Curiosity gets the best of you and you know you're speaking the words even before you know you're speaking, and you internally feel like smacking yourself for asking such a silly question. You do know that Taehyung has a good following base on his socials, one that he's that fucking famous as that when you know that millions of people watch his Instagram stories within a flash of second.

The man only smirks. He runs his tongue on the seam of his bottom lips, slightly running his fingers through his hair. And suddenly, your vision drops down to his grey sweatpants, which is hanging dangerously low on his waist, showing you more skin than you can handle, a very deadly sharp glance of his vline. The smooth and bulked plains of his toned stomach and the tanned, golden skin.

Fuck him.

“ Do you want to ask if I'm secretly a pornstar or some sort of shit? ”

“ You're calling porn shit? ”

No sardonic reply comes back, except that he only turns at you, tonguing his inner cheek and a nearly unreadable expression on his face, holding his snifter within the rim and strides over to the stool nearest to the dresser and your the king sized bed, and takes a seat. Sandalwood and vanilla with a hint of ginger. The scent is so him, so him in a way that even if at times the scent alone ghosts you and you definitely feel like you hallucinate, because it's just so alluring, but also comforting in a way you can't just. . .explain. A lazy smile tugs on the corner of his lips.

“ ’m not so qualified to do so, please. ”

“ ’s not ’bout you being qualified, shithead. ”

“ hm, who knows. maybe I do post quality content on my only fans page. . ”

You can only roll your eyes as a response, dragging another shot of the burning smoke in your lungs, and he laughs, filling his glass with the malt whisky on the dresser, and helps himself with a few icecubes.

“ Yeah, good for them. ”

Silence, a comfortable silence blankets over the room; but you don't fail to notice his lips quirking ever so slightly up at your lame remark.

Evenings like this with your best friend are rare; both being responsible adults you've all never nearly got to enjoy the time after school, which is supposed to be enjoyable, they said. Though you're satisfied with what you do and aren't complaining, the thing which stings you is just to know that you and your friend have been drifting apart in the course of time.

Just sitting in silence, healing.

You can only watch his features, partially visible from the lamp light falling in the half of his profile, leaving the chin and mouth in shadow. His focus is set on his glass and the drink. The drink, though alcoholic, is so dark that you can barely make out anything as he lifts the glass to his lips and the sound of the icecubes crinkle the surface of the glass is all what you hear, and oh. The light, oily amber swirls even confirms the nature of the drink, dark.

For a moment it hits you that this evening has been a bit too silent for how it usually is.

You both have the mutual share of the silence which passes whenever you two meet up. There's nothing in your way : just you two, his drinks and your cigar, and you two basking in eachother’s company. No comments, no words. The thick silence is what you both glow in, silently comforting eachother’s soul with silently shared words. No words are really necessary, it's just your presence which makes everything, complete, whole, if that makes sense.

The silence isn't uncomfortable now, though. Just as if an ounce of you feels as if maybe it just you who's thinking this way, but your doubts are solidified when you see a muscle near his left eye, twitch slightly, and in the same time you see his tongue poking his inner cheek.

Something is wrong, you easily can say. The air in the room feels disturbed, and you mentally argue if you should be asking any of it to him. He knows and you do too, that whatever happens, his shit, your shit, your shit, his shit.

From wild teenagers failing together at maths class and laughing your asses off, to those same teenagers who left home in the ghosts of the nights with hands in hands and wide toothy grins, to adults graduating in different majors, moving in different directions to feel the weight of your wings come to action. Life has taken rowdy turns and upturns, like a wave, but with his hand in yours and his presence with you, it has been going on. Even if time has passed, hopefully, there haven't been cracks in between your relationship and his.

Your fingers itch to reach out to his messy bangs falling over his forehead and brush them off, but rather your fingers reach to your own glass of whisky, and you take a sip. You don't really know how many times you've forbidden yourself for your heart to yearn for him, to desire him. A part of you doesn't understand why are you doing this, and another part of you understands that you're doing it for a reason; for why he's too precious to let go.

“ You want to say something. ” You're rather surprised that it's Taehyung who's speaking about this, even if his focus still is stoic on his drink, head dunk down but however, his eyes are now on your glass clad hands. His shoulders hunch down slightly, almost as if he's itching to..hold you, too?

“ What's wrong, Tae? ” your eyes never leave his figure, and as soon as the question leaves your lips, he sighs.

“ Guess we both know eachother too well, eh? ” He tries to lighten off the mood for a while, but it won't work with you. Putting down your cigar and drink on the dresser, you reach forward to hold his shoulders firmly, and give a shake.

“ No, Tae. Let me know what's eating you. ”

Another sigh. This time, it feels like he's leaning onto your touch, closing his eyes. The faint smell of alcohol still roams within, but you do know that both of you don't really have that little resistance to alcohol. You don't rush anymore; you let him think and carry out his words slowly and steadily. His shoulders fall even more, and this time his exhale is shaky.

“ My father passed away a week ago. ”

Oh.

Though you yourself grew up in your foster house and weren't particularly close to your either alcoholic parents, who either were always drowned in alcohol, or when not, to insult you in every way possible. But about Taehyung, he was the eldest child of his parents, and though if the relationship with his parents was strained, you know Taehyung loves his parents, for why he always got back to Daegu atleast once a year, even after both of you ran away from your homes. He cares for his younger siblings, and you'd guess he wasn't particularly close to his father. Even as a child, he used to be the one sitting alone in a corner, with a pout on his face and red nose evident that he sobbed, each time during the event of father's day celebrated in the local farmhouse.

That's when you found him, and hit off instantly as his friend.

And since then, he rarely opens up about his father.

He finally looks up at you, a pained expression settled on his face.

“ I swear I didn't mean to hide anything from you. . ” your name falls from his lips as a silent apology, eyebrows pinched together. “ It's just. . ”

Before he can finish, you're pulling him close to your chest, wrapping your arms around his cold figure. He leans in, and melts completely in your arms, shaking slightly. You feel that pain in your chest blooming slowly in.

“ Fuck, ___. I don't even know who the hell am I becoming nowadays? We weren't close, not even close to that. He just drowned in his own world of becoming the superior, while my mother worked hard to raise all of us up. He thought, that just the money is enough for the upbringing of a family, and became the most distant he could be, from us. .”

“. .I don't even know, I didn't even see his face in years, but shit, why do I miss him this much? Almost as if. . ”

Taehyung, as he grew up, turned exactly what opposite of what he used to be. From a giggly, shy but bubbly boy who'd share his heart out after he has throughly warmed himself up with you (not that you were complaining, you always had enjoyed him beside you, you loved hearing him out. . .) and now, he barely spoke anything which can be considered as to be shared. You dont blame him; life happened and you love your Taehyung as ever your best friend he was, and forever will be. He never needs to explain himself to you. As ever, the moments of silence is all what tugs you to the realm of comfort in the silent winds, sailing in with the warm gushes of warmth.

“ It's alright, Tae. . ” you slowly stroke his hair and his back in sooting motions, cuddling him close to your chest. Smoke and vanilla.

You felt his figure shake and tremble, and soon, you felt the wetness seeping down on your collarbone, and his chest heaved heavily for breaths to catch.

You understand what Taehyung means. Having a parent in your life but still feeling their existence to be non existent, maybe you knew this part too well. Taehyung yearned for that missing love, now impossible to reach, but you hope that he knows it might linger around, right with him.

You hope.

Moments linger off like that, the slow jazz music softly playing in the background as Taehyung cries his heart off to you,sobbing. Holding you so tight that you almost feel breathless. It's rare to see him cry, for you always have felt that he's the one who feels reaching out to feelings difficult, for how he's gonna have the unhealthy habits as his companions to cope up with the empty cracks of his life. Or maybe you, who'd understand him like a puzzle’s respective part.

Maybe if the human nature wasn't that rigid outside, you can only imagine. Had been his father too, proud of his son? Had he too been happy to see Taehyung?

You can only imagine. The happiness Taehyung would've felt if his father would've spent a bit more time with him. The possibility of maybe. . .

After what long, heartfelt moments, you feel him pulling away. Though, he doesn't shoot you off completely: the scent of mild sandalwood and vanilla still lingers around you, and he just pulls out of your chest, to find his flushed face and red nose, shiny cheeks damp with tears which you reach out to gently wipe off. His strong, masculine scent lingers by within. Your heart clenches at the sight, to see him so heartbroken with his messy and fluffy hair sticking to his forehead, all sweaty and eyes nearly swollen and red. He can only sniff, and that's when you feel a large, sweaty palm of his cup your own face, gently.

A soft expression is written on his face, a one which you cannot quite decipher yourself. It's maybe not the first time being so close to him, but each time you get a chance, a sight, he never fails to take your breath away.

“ Thank you….” He weakly mutters, and you nod, once to let him know it's fine, always.

He's so insanely handsome, so unfairly beautiful, the bridge of his nose to his monolidded, warm brown eyes, to his thick eyebrows, to his plush lips, and chiseled face, you never miss even a freckle on his nose which, when you had first met, instantly booped at causing the young Taehyung 's eyes to wide and cheeks go a shade of rose.

So you still do, remembering all the times you've seen him laugh, the contagious hearty laugh with that box like smile and warm hugs he engulfs you in. You lightly flick on his mole, and you don't miss the way his face lights up, the familiar box like toothy grin returning to his face.

Adorable.

He's so adorable, so much, that it almost makes you squirm in your sheets. His eyes never leave your own ones, and you swear you feel him boring holes in your soul. Eye contact with him hasn't been hard, but particularly at moments like these, you don't know what creeps up and you feel breathless, your stupid heart picks up the pace, and you again feel like squirming in your sheets, because, damn this fucking man!

The urge to kiss this handsome man keeps on roaming around your head, at some point, maybe always. . just a rudimentary thought, no, but at this point you can't help but get a urge to taste those pink, damp lips which are tempting you. .

You might as well drop a bomb to your heart (oh no.) that you've been in love with this stupidly handsome guy, always denying of the inevitable truth. The longer you were away from him, you felt your sanity being snatched away with the smell of the faint smell of sandalwood and vanilla, and your head began spinning. Nights of imagining yourself,you're too guilty to even admit, but guess what. . .maybe the longing for this man has went to such a high altitude, that despite knowing it, you cannot admit it out loud. What the fuck, and how the fuck are you even supposed to?

those desparate nights, when you saw yourself beneath him, writhing with pleasure, that dammned shit eating grin omnipresent on that face as he pleasures you, whispering—

“ What's going inside that pretty head of yours? ” And there you see it. His lips are curled to that fucking smirk, which makes you feel like he knows everything which goes inside your head, and he knows that he has you fucking wrapped around his fingers and you're crazy for him.

So what. But you really and seriously cannot deny the way heat creeps up to your neck and cheeks, and the urge to look at anywhere but him is delightful. The wall looks pretty, because you can't look at hi—

“ Answer with words, dear. ” His hands cup your cheeks again, making you look at him. His eyes..are soft, but at the same time so smug that you again feel like snatching and throwing away that pompous vibes from them. You snort, and he smirks.

“ If you don't tell me, would it be mutual? ” You nearly scoff, hating the way you still find him adorable, another lazy smile stretched on his handsome face. ( read : stupid ).

“ Do I make you say it out loud, my dear? ”

Fuck.

It was undeniable, the way you felt your stomach churn with fluttering butterflies. You absolutely don't wish to find the meaning of what actually he means, but for some reasons or other, your blush deepens and you feel a small smile of your own afloat even without you realising that.

“ You're way too handsome. ” Oh no. There it will be again, with that cocky grin and that motherfucking smirk which would make you pounce on him. For sure, he was very much aware of his godly looks, and you knew he won't shut up on this, when you subconsciously utter out those dammned praises. You shouldn't absolutely have done that.

Instead, what you didn't expect in the least is, his smile. Not the cocky, complacent smirk, but an almost soft smile. Almost as if he's happy to hear the words coming out of you. And to worsen that, you feel his hands now gently reach the scalp behind your ears, messaging the skin with those nimble fingers, the smile still plastered on his face.

It sort of shocked you, but it also didn't. Because when you see his eyes flicking down to your lips and back to your eyes, almost dragging them from within at it, you feel like you'd stop breathing this instant.

And this isn't the last time he does it; his gaze keeps on roaming from your lips to your eyes, almost as if he's asking you for permission, and you really try your way hardest to not look at his own lips. You try, but fail.

“ Can I kiss you,dear? ” He asks you, his eyes holding yours, and you visibly gulp. The fluttering in your tummy won't cease..and you feel anything but your heart pounding in your chest, so loud, that it almost makes you question, can he hear it too?

The question which you've resisted to urge for years, the feeling which you've denied for years. He's right infront of you, looking just so adorable and kissable that you almost want to give in. Denial has been grave of your heart, but now enough of it. Why not, because this life is short, and now that.. it already happened, you say fuck it, and nod, slowly.

But rather, he smirks. His voice is saccharine sweet when he speaks,

“ Words, darling ”

Fuck this asshole.

Without a single word, you pull him closer by his neck, kissing him with fervour. Your teeth clash together, and you feel his nose slightly bump into yours, but nevertheless you mould his damp lips to yours, a flavour of the strong alcohol’s residue evident as the taste. He tastes so sweet, so sweet that it almost makes you melt, but you feel his lips stop.

And he pulls away.

His eyes narrow mischievously, almost as if he's challenging you. His brows are pinched together almost as if he's mad, and panic instantly burns your veins; did you do anything wrong?

What you don't expect is, that now his arms snake down to your nightgown clad waist, and his another arm reaches for both of your wrists, and pushes you down to the soft bed. You audibly gasp, feeling his strength on your wrists, but he's sure that he's not hurting you. And pins your arms above your head, lips curled in a snarl which almost makes you shiver, and you shiver, a delicious shiver running up your spine.

And his eyes now hold a carnal rage, brown eyes now almost black.

And you resist the urge to arch your back off the bed, feeling breathless all of a sudden. This side of Taehyung is completely new to you, and a part of you is equally astonished as well as fascinated.

His gaze is so fucking strong, you know he's boring holes into your skull, and you dare to squirm underneath him, your stomach twisting as you feel the heat pool in your lower belly.

“ Stop fucking squirming. ” That's not a plea. That's a fucking command, and you nearly feel like disobeying him again, just to coax out more reactions out of him. But much to your dismay, his grip on your waist and palms tightens, and you see his pupils dilate a bit more.

“ Hadn't I told you to use your words, darling? ” Darling. The new nickname sets a fire inside your veins, and equally as you feel heat travel to cheeks, you feel his lips slowly curl to a smirk, but the look he gives you through his eyes, you cannot tell what is he thinking of.

He knows his effect on you too well.

You were you. You were his best friend, the only one who offered him his croissant on that chilly, cold day when his eyes felt puffy and his nose was runny, and everyone seemed to be celebrating. Everyone was happy, everyone had their hands clasped in their fathers, cheering with sing songs and chorus, which made him feel sad. The ten year old him couldn't digest the fact that he wasn't close to his father, and he was the only one who was without a companion, without his father.

Where was his father, back then? No wonder, back to his office, burying his head in those scary looking papers, scribbling his pen on them, busy apparently.

The younger Taehyung felt angry on his dad. So angry, that the anger flushed to tears, to the extent when his loneliness altogether made him cry like crazy in public. The younger Taehyung didn't have friends, for why he was known as the weird one, liking hamburgers and video games more when boys of his age liked soccer and camping. He liked art and talking to the peonies and daises more than he liked talking to others, and maybe he liked his art more than he liked his studies.

His mother, though, loved him. She loved him more than she could express, because having to manage two little children, marely babies and Taehyung who was the oldest, he wwas often the victim of the missed pages while fast turning, often the one left alone with some paper money and a letter on the desk written for him to grab some hamburgers, alone at the day as the bay passed away. All alone, he could only stare gloomily at the walls, whitewashed and faded.

At times he didn't know if he was even wanted by his parents.

But there was you. You too, were without a companion, and even if the little Taehyung saw a pair of bright, doe eyes looking at him, but each time he remembers the memory, he always remember the loneliness, the poignance behind those two, big pupils. You had offered the sobbing boy your own croissant, which he supposed that he missed when getting distributed. A bright smile, and soon you disappeared, much to the confusion and even disappointment, but again he saw the same pair of yellow sandals and painted toenails, and upon raising his head, saw your head and those warm, doe eyes again, with your head tiltled at him. You were holding two cups within yoir tiny palms, and the little Taehyung almost got his cheeks painted a rosy shade of red when he realises that you were beautiful, and his little heart skipped some beats at your cute appearance, slightly shorter than him.

And since then, he doesn't remembers when have you been out of his thoughts since that night.

And now, caged between his arms underneath him, so cutely writhing with desire, your cute eyes shutting close and lips slightly trembling, hands wriggling in his hold. You were now grown up, but still so smaller and cuter, and Taehyung felt every second of hell whenever he had to let go of the thoughts to pick you up and kiss you till you forget your name, and he felt himself growing bitter at the thoughts. So he, let go of everything, and finally let that out, and somehow is releived that he doesn't have to regret that. He felt his heart race; you were always beside him, and this evening was not a surprise.

He wasn't mad at you. He just wanted the first time, the most awaited kiss he'd give you, to be special, not a kiss which almost made your teeth clash together, but he didn't mind. He liked seeing you so precious underneath him, and has dreamt of it since how long, only he knows.

He smiled when he heard your voice again.

“ Just kiss me, Taehyung, a thousand times, yes. ”

He felt his smile growing as he leaned down to brush a stray strand falling on your cheekbone, grazing it carefully to tug it behind your ears. He loves seeing you so small, so precious like this, and he sort of feels like he should pause this moment, and just stamp on you inside his head forever, as if you weren't already.

But however, it suddenly dawned onto him that there's no going back from this. His heart thumps wildly in his chest because this is the moment he has craved for years, and now when finally this has floated to the surface, to reality, the worst of his fears too, cling on. He knows that you're not that type of person who'll leave him without any reasons and with a miscommunication, but is he really willing to take the risk? To take it all and then, lose you?

You visibly see Taehyung move a bit back, his lips drawn in a small pout. He's overthinking, and you often know that this stubborn fella wouldn't let you know a single thought about his, but now the tension is so high that maybe the thoughts which bubble in your head, matches with his.

He too is thinking if this, your bond would be shattered because of the growing desires, hidden affection for eachother since years which finally are coming true.

You cup his warm cheek in your smaller palms, tugging him out of his reverie. His eyes are shine softly, the brown of them sparkling in the golden lamp light.

“ It's okay, Taehyung. We're together in this. ” you flash him a grin, hoping to soothe his nerves a bit, and you're relieved because of the box like grin which stretches on his lips, too.

“ So, may I kiss you, now? ” his voice is gentle as he nears your mouth, hands back to your hips, fingers tracing careless circles into your skin. It tingles wherever he touches and you wriggle a bit, nodding desparately.

His lips inch closer to yours own, till the extent you feel his alcohol mixed breath mingle with your own, his hands feeling warmer as each second passes by. The stupid, small kiss had you reeling in your head, and now as you feel his hair touching your cheekbone, you're sure that if you don't kiss him, you'd die right there and then. His lips felt so soft, so sweet against your own, that to feel them once more had you whining quietly as you clutch his shoulders, feeling the tough muscles ripple at your touch.

Feeling impatient, you connect your lips to his. You sigh, and he grins. You could feel his smile in the kiss as his hands roam up to your hips from your waist, the silk of your nightgown feeling fluffy under his touch as your mouths move with a certain tenderness which you know only if for you. He tastes faintly like alcohol and more like chocolate, and you wonder if it's because of the candy he popped in while he was talking to you. Your hands find his ruffled raven hair, caressing the roots. You're slightly surpirsed when Taehyung purrs in the kiss, and now it's your turn to smile.

But the sweet, tender moment seems to have been burnt when Taehyung pushes his tongue inside your mouth, licking your own. His tongue reaches back to lick the seam of your lips, and that's when you realise that how slowly his hands are advancing towards your stomach, his touch leaving behind sparks of fire. You crack open your eyes to find his eyes hungrily watching you, and you shiver. With the anticipation and the feeling of the shameless heat in his eyes which is melting down your self resistance in all the ways. His fingers dance on the skin of your tummy, all the while licking your lips as you pant, his touch furious as a whimper makes its way up your throat, and Taehyung smirks. You're adding more to his ego and you're totally helpless, not when this man's touch feels so so good.

When his lips touch the junction of your neck, right on the curve where your shoulder meets, you let out a moan. His kisses are drizzled with his warm, wet tongue on your skin and there's a pit of desire bubbling in your stomach, already. The moan urges him to continue, watching you with hooded eyes as you lose it all, the ache in between your legs growing rapidly with each swipe of his tongue on your skin. His hands travel up to your tits, brushing them slightly— and your hips buck up, finding relief for the growing desires inside you. But he takes none of that, and one of his hands fly down to grip your hips, refraining you from any moment and you whine.

“ Taehyung, please.. ”

“ Please what, baby? ” his voice has never been so sultry, so seductive as it is now, and you do not think the meaning behind his words, to take them for another gesture; and you squirm again.

“ ____, if I don't hear it from you, I'm not touching you. I need you to say it. ” His voice is strong, and you nod furiously, letting out a shaky yes, please touch me.

And that's what he needed to hear from you.

His head dips down to the seam of your nightgown, right on your cleavage, licking a long stripe from the seam to where your nipples are, already hardened and pert from his teasing. You gasp, and your back arches, and he repeats the same ministration again, this time taking the pert, aching bud in his warm mouth right above your nightgown, swirling his tongue around it. The sensation goes right down to your clit, your cunt clenching around thin air and you whimper. His other hand fondles with the soft flesh. You wonder if he knows how sensitive your boobs are, because the right amount of pressure serves you the pleasure, travelling throughout your veins in a buzzing pleasure.

He had enough of it, right when he tears off your wet nightgown from you. You're torn away from the daze, when you see the torn piece of cloth in his huge hands, eyes widening on the sudden action. He scoffs at the cloth, and smirks at you, plunging down immediately to capture a nipple into his mouth, nibbling over it and licking all over the same, his other hand pressing and rolling the other bud with his pointer and thumb, occasionally kneading the flesh. Moans fall off your lips like a prayer, hips bucking amd thighs rubbing together in an attempt to releive the ache, because you feel your slick oozing down your hole to the curve of your ass. He's totally ignoring your pussy, and you feel like giving him the taste of what he has done.

He's busy with your tits, while your hand sneaks down to his waist, suddenly grabbing his cock confined in his pants, which seems already so hard and throbbing, and so..thick. He gasps, suddenly looking at you and removing your hand, his pupils blown out with the lust. He grabs both of your wrists and pins them above your head, leaning down to press a kiss to your temple, and you're suddenly met with his cock on your clothed core, grinding slowly. You close your eyes at the sensation, his sweatpants being too thin to hide his cock, and each time his cock grinds on your clit, you feel like you're ascending to heaven. Your jaw drops, and suddenly there's nothing.

You almost feel like crying. But he's smirking, reaching down to press his lips on your neck, and you shiver when you hear him whispering.

“ You need to earn this cock if you want this so badly, dear. ”

[olderthannetfic]

You know what? I'm really fucking tired.

I'm really fucking tired that, when it comes to producing medias, women are held at higher morality standards than men, and so are their female consumers.

I'm really fucking tired that we can't just enjoy shit without someone piping up with the MoRaL qUeStIoNs of what we're consuming and/or producing.

The Barbie movie comes out? It wasn't feminist nor intersectional enough. Its feminist message was 10 years out of date. Saying that Barbie is everything while Ken is just Ken mysandrist.

A dark romance book with a taboo couple is published? We didn't consider the implications of their relationship dynamic. We are supporting pedophilia/abuse/rape/whatever else.

Fanfiction as a whole? Supports bad morals. Moronic. Homophobic in its very nature, and mysandrist too because we have headcanons that emasculate men. Something to make fun of.

Why do men get to have their Walter White's, turn them into their personal superheroes and their "omg, he's just like me" but god forbid women say "What Amy Dunne did was wrong, but I get what brought her there"?

Why do men get to have their stupid, mindless fun, while we're here in the fucking trenches even for hobbies?

They get to have their Terrifier saga and their Barbarian* and their Mia Goth shooting a porn movie and then running from a serial killer without her top on**, but god forbid we don't overanalyze the structure and content of whatever dumb YA saga is currently trendy so that people know we enjoy it only ironically because we can't enjoy something dumb simply because it's dumb and entertaining.

Just let us enjoy our bullshit without constantly overpicking it. Not everything has to have morals, sometimes we can just enjoy stupid shit.

(This rant might've been inspired by a post I saw on Reddit of a girl who broke up with her boyfriend because she found out that he had a whole ass groupchat with his friends dedicated to sharing the link of her fanfics so they could make fun of her and would send her fucking hate comments too.)

*Barbarian was clearly inspired by the Josef Frizl case. You know, the one about the monster who trapped his own daughter in the basement and raped her for 27 years, forcing her to go through 7 births. In the movie, the result of these incestuous acts is a monster-like creature with superhuman strength and the brain of a peanut that has to be murdered so that the main character can go on with her life, because what's scarier than victims of rape?

**"Oh, but I enjoyed X!" Good, but that's not my point! I can assure you that, when the concept for the movie was pitched, in the section dedicated to "What audience does this product target?" the word "woman" was not mentioned once. It's a product made by men for men that women have taken a liking to.

--

[simpliao]

Hi! I just started following you and oh my god you JSchlatt fics are so good, I can’t get enough!!! If you’re taking requests right now, I’d like to ask for a little protective Schlatt! With the internet being what it is, I can imagine that maybe it wouldn’t be to kind to Schlatt’s SO. Or maybe you might have another scenario in mind? Again, thank you so much for all your writing, it makes my day!!! ❤️

i will shoot you dead ; (irl) schlatt x reader

summary : he couldn't give a shit what people say about him; what actually irritates him is when those assholes involve people that have nothing to do with whatever they're bullshitting about. he's made it a point not to involve his personal life, but when it gets leaked and his s/o gets targeted; he isn't fucking happy.

info : swearing, protective schlatt, pet names, she/her, afab reader, mentions of harassment and death threats, and fluff.

a/n : this was such a good idea i couldn't pass up ah, thank you so much for enjoying ! i am and attempting to post around every two/three days but school is just starting so i'm unsure how well i'll manage. to everyone else that requested, still working on it so apologizes that they are semi-late ! hope this also lives up to your expectations.

Being rich at twenty-three was a blessing and a curse, since he acquired all his wealth from being an Internet personality so to speak. Having what should have been a hobby bare so much fruit wasn't without its issues, and the drawback was most definitely the fame. People in his business, attempting to figure out his name and address, outraged from jokes and pretending that they understand him to a personal level; he was grateful for the normal ones, but one outspoken psycho made him rethink all his life choices.

It was never the audience's right to know or interact with his private life, to the creators that do let their fans have that window into their life was a privilege, not a right. So he never did tell anyone past his close circle of friends of his lover, Y/n, a blue collared worker not high up within her company but making good money to be independent. To Schlatt, she was his own little slice of heaven, always giving him the right kind of realistic advice while could always acknowledge and take in account his own feelings.

To some: she might be considered perfectly average, but he saw beyond the rest, she was more than just a pretty face anyways. He adored her ambition to work her hardest and larger than life aspirations. Despite knowing of the kind of money her boyfriend possessed, she never dared asked for a penny; he appreciated that she wanted her own individual success that came from her and not from outside sources. Being that she was also probably one of the most appreciate human beings he's ever had the chance to meet just added to her charm; she never let him so much as pay for a coffee without him hearing a thousand and one thank yous. She was his to love and adore, no one else should have been mixed up in their lives.

She had absolutely zero internet presence, and he liked it that way. Since she wasn't big into the public sphere she wouldn't be caught up in all the bullshit that followed him. Many people despised him despite not having spoken to or even knowing him beyond his flamboyant internet persona; it was fucking stupid, usually they never really bothered him no matter how much they so desperately wanted to cancel him and throw him off the internet. That's where he thought it ended, they despised him, they couldn't logically harass people that possible know him, right? Wrong.

'uh, schlatt? I'm getting a lot of emails about you coming to my work email. Did you tell people about my job or anything?'

Being that for almost the past decade most if not all of his friends had taken to calling him by his last name it eventually became used more or less so by everyone in his life more than his real one. It wasn't that his girlfriend didn't know his name or hadn't asked, she also enjoyed the sound of it and ended up being the default thing she'd call him.

The text itself was unusual, he wasn't even sure if he knew her work email let alone tell it to other people.

'What? No. I don't even know your email. What are they saying?'

'I have it in my LinkedIn profile, they're asking what's my relationship to you. Some are threatening to message my higher-ups claiming I'm a racist? They keep linking me back to Twitter. I can't work when my important emails are drowned out in this. I had one threatening to come where I work and hurt me.'

'Listen, sweetheart, I'm so sorry I really didn't think that they'd find you. I'll do my best to fix this, I'll come pick you up from work today too so don't leave the building until I arrive.'

A spark of rage ignited from within him, he was sure to be careful about not revealing her identity or even mentioning much about her. He knew how bad these people could get and how low they would stoop because they had no lives and just wanted to get the better of him; he wanted to protect her and now all he felt like was a failure. He was quick to log into Twitter and type in 'Jschlatt Girlfriend' and it was almost immediate that he found the thread of the asshole that went as far as to dox him and figure out who and where Y/n was. "He is a bad person that deserves all the things coming to him." It was written with such conviction, as if dragging unrelated people into a stupid ass controversy about another testing-the-line joke he told. He didn't care what they did to him, but threatening to hurt those closest to him struck a nerve that made him want to do some... Fairly illegal things to these people.

So he hoped that most people had some common sense left, screen shotted the thread and the text from his lover and was quick to make a comment about it.

Say whatever the fuck you want about me. But actively try to dox and threaten my girlfriend when she has nothing to do with any of this bullshit online and I will shoot you dead. Fuck you.

He knew these saggy fuckers wouldn't dare try anything, not when they'd know he'd be right there waiting for them. Was he serious when he said he'd shoot them dead? Only half so. He wasn't scared to use the firearm that he kept at home for protection, and neither was he scared to do what he needed to for the sake of protecting the only bright spot in his life. She didn't deserve this. He knew the hate for him could get damn strong, and who knows who amongst them would be crazy enough to act on those words. He wasn't going to test it and he would clearly set the boundary; don't fuck with him in real life, or you have to deal with him in real life.

It can be said he was not in a good mood as he waited outside the glass skyscraper building for his girl, since the few hours that he tweeted out about the situation public opinion turned more into his favour. Although he still had those that were adamant that he was said bad person, vast majority agreed that the original poster of her information was the biggest asshole. The thread was deleted but he saved all the screenshots and had the username burned into his mind, may god save that asshole's soul should Schlatt ever get his hands on him.

Once he saw her exiting the azure-tinted building he was quick to slip his phone into his pocket and get out of the car, running up to the door to greet her. A sheepish smile graced her lips as she gave him a soft wave, he noticed how she wore his favourite blazer and skirt set and how gorgeous she looked in it, but a more important question left his lips first. "Are you okay?" A worried one captured her features, "yeah I am, you look so stressed out. I'm sorry if I worried you." He shook his head and took hold of the hand that reached up to cup his face, "don't apologize, if anything I should. Being involved with me got you in this." A sympathetic look flashed her features as he walked side-by-side with her, a soft smile growing to her own face.

"Don't beat yourself up about it, I reported it to HR and although it took a while to explain they made sure to notify security about it and I had one guy follow me around when I went out for lunch, he was nice about it too. I had to ask help how to set it so they'd all go to spam but we worked it out eventually. So, please, don't worry too much; I'll be okay I promise." He looked down to see her reassuring smile, he knew she'd worry more over him than her own safety. He knew working himself up was an overreaction, he doubted anything would happen; but should something do he wouldn't ever forgive himself. "So, don't shoot anyone?" His eyebrows shot up at this, "you saw my tweet?" Last time he checked this girl had an issue figuring out how to change her profile picture on instagram.

"Well, other people did. A lot of people caught wind that I was getting death threats so I ended up having to explain who you were and they found your Twitter. Please uh, don't kill anyone on my behalf?" An airy chuckle left him, as he knelt down to kiss her temple, "and leave you behind to go to jail, toots? You're gonna have to try harder than that if you want to get rid of me." Seeing his ease and cheeky grin come about, a sense of relief washed over her. "So then, you wanna go out to–" "no." "Huh, why?"

She separated from him for just a moment so she could get into the passenger's side of the car. "We can go out when this whole thing blows over. Until then I don't want you running out of sight." It may have sounded slightly demanding, but she knew that his anxiety must have been through the roof; overthinking was one of his flaws that they worked through together. It wasn't like it was all that big of a deal, chilling out at the apartment sounded just as nice. "Movie night then?" Her enthusiasm was infectious that he couldn't help but break a smile. "Yes, please."

[shuttershocky]

Do you have a dislike for media universes that "rewards" people for watching/reading all of it in general?

Or do you think there is one that executes that idea well?

I'm answering this 5 months late, but I'm pretty sure I still remember this ask being prompted by a post making fun of the MCU.

Do I dislike story universes that reward people for reading all of it? Not at all. I mean, I'm a fan of both Middle Earth and Star Wars, I fucking love big, big universes with plenty of stories in them. When they intersect in some small way it's a delight to me, I love those little personal winks from the author for having read their other works or recognizing the most obscure names only a nerd would know.

However, there's a difference between a little reference in a story meant for people who can connect the dots, and making something almost required reading for your enjoyment. It's the difference between an acknowledgement from the creators that you liked the setting enough to come back for a new yet familiar ride, and a company realizing they've found their cash cow and can't wait to milk it for all its got until it's dead.

And dead the cash cow will be, eventually. It's been said before that the reason why the Big Two of western comics have ceded more and more ground to manga over the years is that Spider-Man has 10 different starting points while Naruto starts with Volume#1. That's not just a funny joke. Onboarding new readers has genuinely been Marvel and DC's problem for decades, which is why it was both incredibly predictable yet shocking all the same that this is what the MCU turned itself into.

Sure, early on you could ask the audience to watch a couple movies before the big Avengers crossover, but now they've got all these TV shows on top of the movies that you have to watch in order to "catch up", and it's not even about the cool characters anymore. More and more of their fanbase is going to stop caring once the barrier of entry gets too high, and it's ridiculous to me that Marvel went this road with their movies when they know this is what happened to their comics first.

I mean, are you serious, their next big bad is Kang? I am not watching several TV shows and an Ant-Man movie that's somehow worse than the second one all to see how the currently left Avengers meet goddamn Kang the Conqueror. He's in both the TV shows and the movies, which means they're somehow giving Kang more buildup screentime than Thanos. Why? Either I've been extremely out of touch with Marvel comics or the MCU picked a wild choice to headline their next billion dollar franchise when Doctor Doom is actually available to them now and barely needs an introduction.

Sorry, got lost for a bit. Back on topic, yeah I know I know, all art right now exists under capitalism which means every setting that becomes a wider story universe is an author trying to milk their existing fanbase. Whenever a creator makes a thing that I like, and then announces they have a new thing set in the same setting as their first thing but isn't a direct sequel so they can keep gaining a new audience while keeping their existing one, I know I'm being suckered in.

Just, don't make it so blatant. And don't make it so hard. I am the exact target audience for these shenanigans and even I'm starting to feel like it's homework because it's all fucking required now.

If I, a lifelong Star Wars fan, want to watch the newest Star Wars thing, I have to see a hundred hours of other Star Wars media first. If I want to watch The Mandalorian Season 3, I can't just have seen Season 1 and 2, oh no, I have to also see The Book of Boba Fett too, because halfway through that show became The Mandalorian Season 2.5. Well I did see Boba Fett, and the combination of my dislike for turning it into required homework AND the show itself just being kinda dogshit meant I never touched season 3 of the Mandalorian. That show used to be so great because it wasn't tied down to any existing story arcs or characters, so it stood on its own and made for an amazing watch no matter how much Star Wars you've actually seen. And then it succeeded and so had to become the new spine for the entirety of Disney Star Wars afterward. Fuck. Now if I want to watch their latest show Ahsoka, I have to have seen the Clone Wars animated series AND Rebels, because the Rebels cast are in it too! I mean I did see Clone Wars and Rebels, but that still sucks!

That makes me worried now! Andor was also really fucking good and it stood on its own so hard you didn't even need to see Rogue One, the movie that introduced Cassian Andor in the first place. But now that season 1 was a success and everyone sang its praises, it certainly means season 2 is suddenly going to get real cramped with Ahsoka and Luke Skywalker and whatever guys are currently alive in its timeframe. Shit, they're probably gonna add Cal Kestis in season 2 of Andor. The Respawn Star Wars games are still doing their own thing which means it's time to connect to something else.

I hate what all this has become. It was fun to read the Silmarillion and see what kind of fuckery one family of elves got up to that eventually turned Sauron from minion to big evil eye parked next to evil mountain, but you didn't need to read all that before The Lord of the Rings. LOTR didn't assume you knew anything at all (and oh boy did Tolkien never miss an opportunity to explain shit).

Let me repeat. I am the target audience. I live for the ridiculously nerdy habit of reading things set in the same universe as other things and connecting all the dots. If /I/ feel like it's become homework, I can't imagine what the average person thinks of all this. Make it stop. Stop running everything I once loved into the ground in the name of endless profit. Star Wars was already doing this to itself before the Disney acquisition and yet it didn't feel this bad.

[simplespacedust]

hey so i'm gonna talk about pro-shippers because i feel like none of you have critical thinking skills.

please, if you are going to read this, read to the end because there are multiple parts to my argument.

SOMETHING IMPORTANT: i don't think it is okay to doxx, harass, or send death threats to people on the internet! if you send death threats to people, you are awful! if you go out of your way to harass people when they tell you to leave them alone, you are awful! if someone says something you don't like, talk with them like a normal fucking person jesus christ! if you repeatedly harass a pro-shipper, you are not helping them get any better!

firstly, in terms of "problematic" stuff in mainstream media, most component people can recognize when a piece of media is commenting on something with the use of a relationship/something problematic as a metaphor. just because something exists on-screen doesn't necessarily mean the message of the media endorses it. this is why you never (hopefully) see anyone getting upset about murder in movies. the piece of media is not saying murder is good. it is using it to make a commentary/characterize someone/etc.

now that we have set that precedent, we can move on to pro-shipping in fandom spaces. pro-shipping in fandom spaces if often fundamentally different between than the more general category of just "relationships in media." in fandom spaces, the tendency when creating art, writing fics, posting headcannons, etc. is for the purpose of personal/audience enjoyment. this is why pro-shipping is more often problematic within fandoms. if a person did want to create/add to problematic ships for a purpose other than getting off to it, that would be a different story! thats fine!

unfortunately, however, many pro-shippers do not proship for the literary merit/symbolism/characterization etc. many of them do it because they find the idea of parent-child or sibling-sibling relationships attractive. this is where the problem is. they symbol itself is not the problem, its the message/purpose of the work/art/headcannon itself.

i hear a lot of people talking about how pro-shipping is often a coping mechanism for dealing with trauma a person has experienced. my response to that? KEEP IT TO YOURSELF AND GO TO THERAPY!!!! if you are having to resort to jacking off to fictional incest to cope, then clearly you need the help of a professional to work through your issues! if you cannot for whatever reason, still keep it to yourself!

it is well understood that people are influenced by the opinions of people around them/what they see and interact with. putting out bullshit on the internet that portrays problematic relationships as desirable can one, create a pedophile safe space, and two, unintentionally (or maybe even intentionally!) expose children to these types of relationships and make it seem normal in their brains, which could cause them to not speak up about it if something bad does actually happen to them! even if a person shouldn't be in a space, they are! it doesn't harm you to not post the porn you wrote of that one kid and his dad from south park. and that only talks about adult only spaces, i have seen a shit ton of pro-shippers on tiktok, a platform marketed towards minors.

ANOTHER SIDE NOTE (i have a lot to say and am terrible at organizing my thoughts srry) is that a lot of times pro-shippers infiltrate general fandom hashtags. a child who is scrolling though a bluey hashtag on tiktok should not have any risk of running into someone on the internet describing how bluey's dad would r4p3 her!

you may think that because you are only talking about fictional characters and "its a coping mechanism" its okay, but it is most certainly not! not all coping mechanisms are healthy and what you post on the internet most CERTAINLY has a real effect on people. this is basic media literacy and critical thinking, guys. stop posting child/sibling smut headcannons on the internet! it is absolutely vile!

with all of that being said, (i said this at the beginning but i am going to say it again) i still dont think it is okay to doxx, harass, or send death threats to people on the internet! if you send death threats to people, you are awful! if you go out of your way to harass people when they tell you to leave them alone, you are awful! if someone says something you dont like, talk with them like a normal fucking person jesus christ! if you repeatedly harass a pro-shipper, you are not helping them get any better!

(im gonna put a bunch of proshipper hashtags at the bottom of this to reach the targeted demographic, i am NOT a proshipper, i am NOT an "anti anti" and i do NOT believe proshippers are valid, again, this is just for reach just to be clear)

[curejiraiya]

So AiPri huh.

I posted my live reactions on Twitter, but tldr of that was I was initially really excited. I think the idea of two arcade games, one that's more aimed children and one that's more aimed at long time fans is honestly genius. I think that they're going to make a lot of money out of that concept.

I also compared it a lot to Aikatsu. The art looks like Aikatsu, the plot that we know feels like Aikatsu. I think the two new main girls are pretty cool, they're designs are a lot simpler than PriMagi and I can't say I like that, but I don't dislike their designs I just like them less than PriMagi.

I'm also really excited for the music. I honestly feel like I called Auru's VA being the lead, but she deserves the role. She's really young and if this show stays around she'll grow into it. We didn't hear much but I liked the song we heard from the snippit of the arcade game, even a little more than Matsuri's song.

Though once the live stream ended my excitement has dropped a little bit. The anime is being done by a completely different production company, that means it's not going to keep a lot of its staff. To be blunt the writing is just going to be different, and I'm scared it's going to be more like the modern children's anime landscape where they're afraid to have things happen lmfao. They don't get deep enough into the plot as I want, and they leave all the crazy world building to the last few episodes. Now PriChan did this too so like there was a chance this was gonna happen anyway, but giving the show to a studio that's known for working on fucking pokémon terrifies me a little bit. I'm scared it's going to be shallow and bad.

Actually I think I'm just scared It's going to be Aikatsu. Aikatsu isn't a bad show, but it's not the Pretty Series. There isn't crazy lore and things that you could never expect to happen happening. The Pretty Series has a certain magic that I haven't felt in any other show, and I'm worried a new production team isn't going to be able to capture that.

The other two parts of my theory that lead me to believe this is true is 1. the split arcade game, because the arcade game that's meant more for adults has the old series girls on the front of the machine. Like it's being very blunt that it's pushing nostalgia, and the show itself isn't. I'm worried that their intentionally dividing the audiences so they can aim the show at a slightly lower demographic and not alienate the adults. and then 2. The theme of the show being makeup. Makeup itself is not inherently childish, but two-fold one it makes the show pointedly more for girls than unisex, which also is not a problem I just think the only reason they would do that is if they want to capture a very young child audience.

But the other point and this to me is the important one, is children's makeup toys in Japan are made to be temporary because the students are not allowed to wear makeup to school. So they have formulas meant for the kids to be able to rub off easily in their lip gloss and nail polishes. Because of this adults cannot buy these toys, because they're not going to wear fucking temporary lip gloss. It concerns me slightly that their main toy line with this series is something that adults aren't going to want at all. In comparison to something like prepara where the main toys are little plastic mics which make great display pieces for adults. Fun for all ages.

Now; lowering the target demographic age of the show doesn't necessarily mean a bad show, But I can't help but look at other shows airing for the demographic like PreCure or Aikatsu or even pokémon and as an adult viewer you can see that the shows have been slightly dumbed down then where they were when they started airing. or even where they were when Pretty Rhythm started airing. and it's my personal opinion that I don't really like these new shows that much, they're not bad but they're not as good as they used to be lmaooooo and it's not nostalgia because I didn't grow up with PreCure or Pretty.

That's the crux of my fears though, like I'm just afraid new production company, new people who haven't touched the show before, they're going to dumb it down. But we don't know yet.

Someone on Twitter pointed out that this opens up the production company to work on projects like PolePri or hahahaha omg say it with me, King of Prism 🤡 but I do like those kinds of shows that they've put out, and they seem to he pushing cheer screenings, so this could lead to good things in the end.

Sorry if this is slightly gloomy, I'm still excited! I'm just cautious.

[txttletale]

could you elaborate on what you mean by "the ethics of of an antagonistic mode of writing"? the way i understand it is something along the lines of artistic value vs. effect (?) on audience? i mostly just don't understand what it means! chilli + chocolate factory was a fascinating read, but i feel like i can't really wrap my mind around it. i also haven't read hs or any of the epilogues except through hsmtw and even then i didnt get it, so i might be missing common culture. thanks!

yeah i just mean, like--for me, at least, the emotional/thematic nexus of the whole work is chapter six, where an internet commenter has a breakdown about the candy contest which is very obviously also about art and the artist-audience dynamic:

5Gpants: there is never going to be a moment for me when i understand everything on the big marble 5Gpants: but someone can make a little marble for me, and if they put heart and care and thought into it then i get sucked into it 5Gpants: and if they do a really shrapgrinking job, it has an ending and it all comes together in the right way 5Gpants: and when that happens, man 5Gpants: that fucking feeling of just 5Gpants: "I get it. I understand everything." 5Gpants: we never get that feeling anymore 5Gpants: we never ever ever ever get that feeling, and when we do it's bullshit 5Gpants: but i live for that bullshit 5Gpants: those little marbles are few and far between and i love them so much 5Gpants: they make me want to care 5Gpants: they make me care 5Gpants: they even make me start to care about the big marble again 5Gpants: it's religion, almost 5Gpants: not almost 5Gpants: it's religion 5Gpants: so imagine being a person who figures this shit out 5Gpants: and imagine having the power to make those little marbles 5Gpants: and you go and say, you know what 5Gpants: i'm going to make little marbles on purpose 5Gpants: and i'm going to get people to like them 5Gpants: and i'm going to get people to like them a lot 5Gpants: and then i'm going to take the marble, right before that feeling of understanding can come, like right right right before 5Gpants: and i'm going to crush it 5Gpants: i'm going to step on it and toss it out and LAUGH at them in their dumb fucking faces for having the audicity to wanting to LIKE something and KNOW something 5Gpants: to want to figure out an answer 5Gpants: to want to make the world better 5Gpants: to want to feel 5Gpants: to want to stop experiencing that neverending apathy in the face of constant complication and convolution 5Gpants: to want some shred of understanding 5Gpants: it's evil

like obviously the novel continues a long way past that and a lot of the most interesting stuff is in this second half but this chapter (which was titled 'the end'--remember this was uploaded serially!) kind of signposts a lot of the ideas that the fic is throwing about, about how artists and audience interact--raising questions like "do artists 'owe' anyone anything?" and "do stories 'deserve' to end?" which are a lot of the basis on which the fic's broader critique of dahl and children's literature more broadly is built.

like, the stuff with the GAG and its distillation of characters and what that means for a work's moral outlook, what it says about how people view children and things targeted towards them--i think that is a much better exploration of questions around, like, 'what does canon mean for characters' than anything homestuck did because it's grounded in form and an understanding that texts are written intentionally rather than taking the pseudoplatonic 'characters are real and exist independently of their writing' hussian position.

and unlike the totally surface-level pretence of being 'post-canon' or 'non-canon' that the v. much officially licensed and copyrighted homestuck epilogues put on, fudge revelation is in fact a fanfiction! it's a fanfiction that shows an intimate deep familiarity with dahl's work and a deep loathing for it at the same time! it's a fanfiction that repurposes dahl's characters and stories, and puts them to new and interesting and primarily critical purposes as a form of direct and hostile engagement with the original text!

also, mahuika vapes

[violetlypurple]

With the Windows recall shit rolling around, I'm going to be That Girl and put it out there that Linux is, indeed, still a thing, and a thing that has come a long way with regards to user experience and gaming. And a thing that runs 75% of the internet but anyways Saying, "Linux isn't just for nerds and enthusiasts anymore!" wouldn't be an entirely truthful statement, but if all you do is play games, go on socials, and hang in discord... It'll work? I'm speaking to a target audience here, posting from an FFXIV-focused blog, so let me dive into it a little for that target audience, with the assumption that none of you are out there being sweaty over Apex, Overwatch, Fortnite, or whatever zoomers play these days. Basically anything you play through Steam will run flawlessly* on Linux. Valve have baked the Proton compatibility layer into Steam for a while, and since Valve's Steam Deck runs on Linux, they are on point with updates for it. This means that Steam will do the work of making Windows games run on Linux for you without any additional software or tinkering. This includes the Steam version of FFXIV**.

Now, I can't speak to or ensure that reshade or any 3rd party plugin will work. In my case (details below the cut) reshade was more or less intact but all the presets broke so I just kinda said fuck it and removed the remnants. But thats ok, right? You want to try out the 7.0 graphical updates without instagram filters, right? Don't you..?

Mods and other plugins? Don't know, don't care, frankly don't like that they exist outside the narrow window of seeing people's fun screenshots. Sorry not sorry. That said, I have seen some things on the googles.

There are obviously various things that work differently/don't work on Linux like they do on Windows. I can't account for every case, so google is your friend here. The one particularly notable case I ran into was screenshare with Discord being unable to deliver audio, which makes group watching things like netflix a bit of a problem. There are technically workarounds but again, Target Audience.

Sooo... Yeah? If you're mildly tech savvy, go get Ubuntu, install it on a second drive, external drive, or even just try it out from the usb you put the install media on for an hour. If you wanna get spicy with it, do some looking around to see what distribution of Linux might suit you better. Pop_OS is also pretty beginner friendly. Yes, there are some adjustments and some things to learn, but if you have the energy to be mad at what Microsoft is doing, you have the energy to learn a few new things to get away from it. As with anything related to messing with your operating system; back up your important things, just in case!

The Notable Caveats:

*I can't speak to all multiplayer games, since some use anti-cheat or DRM that may not work on Linux. But frankly, a quick google of "will [game] run on Linux" can get you a quick yes or no on if this will be a problem for you. In my case, I mostly care about Helldivers 2 with its nProtect, and it works fine. BG3 has no problems either.

**You might be thinking, "But Basement Witch Noone Knows, I don't use the Steam version of FFXIV!" And yes, that does complicate matters. My brief tutorial is below the cut, should you find yourself committed to this notion, or just have a morbid curiosity.

Ok, so I don't have the Steam version of FFXIV either. There are two ways around this that I am aware of.

The first, which I would not recommend, is to get a 3rd party Linux launcher. If you care about this Windows recall thing, you probably fully understand why I would advise against using a 3rd party app to put your username and password into. If you are willing to do some research into the providers of these tools to determine their trustworthiness, I can't stop you, but I wasn't interested.

The second is Steam! Again! A fun fact about FFXIV is that it runs pretty self-contained in its folder. I have shit internet, so I have been just copying the whole ass SquareEnix folder off my drive and onto other drives to save myself two days of downloading for years now.

If you have Linux installed and familiarize yourself with the Home folder where your usual Documents/Pictures/Videos folders are, I just copy pasted my whole SquareEnix folder in there, to the cries and lamentations of Linux nerds everywhere that would insist I put it somewhere proper. Anyway. Once it's there, all you need to do is add it to Steam. In the Steam Library there is a button to Add a Game in the bottom right corner. When you click that there is an option to Add Non-Steam Game. When you click that, you will get a prompt to locate and select the game. Here you want to hit Browse, navigate to your Home folder, SquareEnix, FINAL FANTASY XIV - A Realm Reborn, boot. in the boot folder you will need to select ffxivboot.exe. Once you have selected it and clocked Open, it will return you to the Add Non-Steam Game list and you should see ffxivboot.exe selected. Hit Add Selected Programs, and that's it! You can now launch your bodged-in copy of FFXIV through steam, and it will apply the necessary Proton layer to make the launcher and the game work as normal. Yay Linux!

i use arch, btw

[storm-of-feathers]

cant sleep gonna say my thoughts.

I think what a lot of people miss about tumblr (and especially unfocused blogs that, say, aren't fandom oriented) is that it's essentially an open journal. it's a microblogging website, and all blogging micro or macro is fundamentally a web log (where the term comes from!). if it seems like I'm not talking ab something enough, it's not because I don't care at all.

It's because first and foremost, this blog is a piece of my soul that I am choosing to share. I'm not trying to be an activist on the internet, I'm not trying to sway anyone to my opinions. I'm saying the things I think and feel. If I talk ab american politics too much, that's because im american. if I'm writing frustrated posts about performative internet activism, that's because it feels exhausting to be out there doing the work (because that's what it is. Its work. Its boring and taxing and it feels like youre getting nowhere. Until you see how far youve come) and having to come to tumblr and seeing people say I didn't talk about [disaster 30000 of the past ten years] enough.

if I seem angry and upset and scared and irrational, its because i am those things. you have to understand. in spite of my rather large follower number, this blog is, first and foremost, for me. I am writing things down and allowing strangers and friends and wanderers to read it. I won't call it a privilege that can be taken away, bc its not like some of my thoughts are exactly a treat, but it is something to keep in mind.

if you ask me why I'm talking about the supreme courts recent decisions but not similar decisions in other countries, the answer comes down to "one of those directly affects me, and therefore i can fight back."

but I shouldn't have to announce where and how I'm fighting back. if for no other reason, my own fucking safety. but also bc this blog isn't any sort of guide to activism, it's not any type instruction. it is, at best, my diary that I published.

and that isn't a bad thing!! and it shouldn't be!!! that's why I harped so hard on the carrd post. that's why I'm vaguely annoyed with my reddit posts. that's why I shared my marital status and sexuality for a long time. that's why i have a rwby icon. that's why my blog title which hasn't changed since 2018 is what it is.

I understand that sometimes I have opinions people don't like. oceangate in particular has proven to be a fantastic example of that. But i am, at the most basic terminology, venting my thoughts and feelings.

that's why I'm talking ab the supreme court and their awful decisions. why I may not be talking about issues that don't directly affect me, but might affect some of you. it's not because i don't care. It's never because I don't care.

It's because my target audience is a mirror.

[i-bring-crack]

This is very random, but on a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate the Solo Leveling characters in terms of hotness

Hi sorry for the long wait and long analysis post this is going to be!

Also you don't need to read all of it! It's fine! I put the pics there for a reason!

Well after this whole thing I can say that even I disagree with myself as to how I put them up on the scale, but its the best i could do. So there definetly might be disagreements bc I have to come clear about this:

I am in fact not attracted to fictional characters.

:0

Okay it's kind of sketchy, I'm attracted to their personalities more than the whole characteristic itself because *waves hands* well I'm just not into superficial physiques. I say they are hot, sexy and stuff like it's a normal thing for me to say, and because genuinely thats what they were drawn to do but honestly it's hard for me to be attracted to some that way, much less fictional characters. And if someone else says they are hot I be like "yup yes absolutely look at them hips! Face! Princess type!" While like, not caring at all. It's why my change of hotness is also never clear. I can say I like himbos just as I can say I like petite little girls to monster fukery. And it will all be true in the end because 1)fiction and 2)the more I write about them and inmerse myself in their story the more I feel like I have a certain connection to those characters which makes me ACTUALLY like them.

So biased opinion wise: they all a 10 fr (And Antares is a hella 11 he can fuck Ashborn ra—)

Anyways !

SL Scale by Sexyness!

First though, some general rules:

I don't think I might be able to put anyone 6/10 or lower, that kinda has to do with the fact that they were all meant to look good by the artists bc, well, they wanted everyone to be engaged in the characters.

I will try to base the Sexyness meter as a heriarchy of one another: like just because I put a character on 8 doesn't mean it's an 8/10 or but rather he is less sexy than the one at 9.

10s are at the very top of character design for me while 9s are somewhat less than 10s and 8s are less than 9s, like so.

Also I can only do like 10 people sadly bc photos don't let me get past 10, so I will do like 2 people on the tens, 2 on the 9s, 2 on 8s... and so forth until the 6.

Si like:

10— Perfect gender envy

9— God they are hot

8—sexy smexy

7— more cool than sexy

6— the vanilla kind of sexy

Really sexyness is pretty hard to describe for me bc everyone fits in their own way to something as long as they are like, clean. But at the same time sexyness does vary a lot by perspective alone and attractiveness in it of itself. I'm going crazy and I probably sound too off putting with this sorry! So imma start—

First off: The Tens

They may sound like honest default but honestly they also had the best jobs done characterization-wise because of how basic yet elegant they can be. In part, something that isn't too over the top but at the same time isn't too toned down which is what makes for that personal goal of being able to look like them or project on to them. The gender envy on them is real, especially because Solo Leveling took a lot of the elements of Isekai and with it came the "bland protagonist" trope. But when it transitioned to manwha the bland protagonist suddenly turned into someone you wanted to be: someone muscular and flexible, someone that shares the same looks as normal people but makes them attractive...

Also he looks like a K pop idol, and it's already wide known just how much they love those kinds of men.

So 10 out of 10.

And then there is Cha Hae In which is more towards the attractive "waifu" love part rather than a projection to one's self— like it can be, but it does take a lot of tastes with what the target audience for SL wants, i.e blonde and somewhat curvy but still skinny. Looks tall but still not too tall, long legs, at the last chapter she has a long hair which is also pretty sought out.

Also they can both pull off a masc and fem energy which is a bonus too bc they can reach more diversed looks! Androginy for real is really awesome in characters due to all the kinds of vibes than give off without being put of by their physique or thinking that it doesn't work well. Now I do think many aren't necessarily unattractive due to not wearing clothing asking by fashion standards. I mean, anyone thirsts over characters in a maid outfit, even the butchiest of muscular men, yet the change in fashion between men and women is still quite spaced out outside of Fandom circles or just cosplay circles as a whole, which is why an androgony kind of look that can go for both kinds of gender envy is quite seen as more sexy, at least in this chart.

Nines

Forgive me for adding a minor character but honestly I think Kanae Tawata's character seems to be one of the best for me! She tends to cover a lot of differences that CHI has the opposite off [black hair-Blonde, muscular- Thin, vibrant eyes- dull calm eyes, long hair- short] and at the same time it happens to look great on her, but what brings it down a point is probably the fact that she gives off more elegance than pure sexyness. I think the most elegance that is brought over is for the hime haircut that she has, but still she could pull of a 9.5 in other kinds of hairstyles too, like her and CHI really are close in terms of sexyness. (Also she excludes more dom vibes, where as Hae In is more sub and dom vibes what a versatile bitch i swear—)

I think the same could be said for Woo Jin Chul, the same terms for sexyness do apply despite also having various differences with Jin Woo in terms of appearance, but still manages to pull off his own kind of hotness in the same way, but once again his character also falls a lot more with the elegant type, this time I think it was more intentional since for the most part the clothes he wears are suits, longer sleeved shirts, and other more covered up clothes (what a slut) than like the rest of the characters.(what are you covering up for huh? So other men can take that off you? Hoe)

The Eights

Okay so why did I put resident sexiest characters of the seires at an eight? Am I blind? (yes, sexually) am I dumb?

But in all seriousness, I put down Zhigang up a notch not because I think he's unsexy, but rather, it's because of his hair *gets shot* wait hold on! I don't mean the length of his hair at all, that actually would put him on a firm 10 if I were to pick at random, but rather because of the whole messyness of it. In different aspects it does work, like the picture above, it's not much, it works well to describe his character and it genuinely does make him look like a diva, but it's also really hard to pull it off completely good, even for the artist. There are some panels where his hair is too long that it starts to look wrong on him or makes him look like a wild anime character (which I'm sorry it's a hard no 💀) so I'm fine with him having his beautiful long hair, I'm not fine with the way it tends to just poof out a lot that it tends to give it a worse look than before. He is still sexy, but there needs to be like a defined volume withing those strands please D": It can probably work even more if he let's his hair down too, that way the strands aren't too much to bare but the effect of it is still shown. The same goes for his built, that genuinely I don't know how it changes per season from stacked to thin. It does definelty have so.ething to do with black suits as said in this post, but when paired to Jin woo in other panels they also seem to have almost the same structure, which — I thought he would be around Thomas physique rather than Jin woo's, lmao he looks like a mix of both. Still men with long hair and those kinds of eyebrows are a big bonus which is why he isn't lowered. Although irl I don't know if that kind of look would attract normal people that aren't fans of cosplays or elves so :v.

As for Esil, I don't think she could pass for a lot of the sexyness tests, she might look the type of oh sexy demon vampire! But for me she had more characteristics that make her ought to be a more cute/naive type of character than a sexy one like in the rest of media. At first I think she does have a more kind of "sexy" considering all the sharp likes in her design, like the armor and the eye marks, but legit as she changes sides and puts on the black suit, suddenly the shape gets more rounder as she wears less padding that's sharp and also the huge offers a contrast that makes her look smaller and thus more innocent in the eyes of the viewer. I think that's funny but a great key design honestly considering her personality, because her appearance WAS the major factor of why she lived, the reason that Jin woo decided to spare her life despite being very tricky and a backstabber to both him and her race. Good on her fr. But yeah she was a good design overall as someone who is "cute" because if it was made sexy it will likely look more like a female-fatale as thus probably not pass as a good figure that keeps it word to Jin Woo. Sexyness after all is often times used in media as a way to stray others rather than repent since you don't see a lot of sexy characters who tend to be insecure or ashamed of themselves and instead use that beauty to its advantage. Esil wasn't that kind of character, she never tried to seduce him, she wanted to apologize for her actions, she fought him head on, she dragged him back to her home despite being unaware of his army in his shadows. All those things were why I focused on her being more cute than sexy. Also her big round eyes are more leaning towards cute and small than the cat like eyes of say Hae In and Kanae. The purple hair is a good factor on her though, and so are the fang teeth, red marks and eyes, and the long ears often associated with vamps. Still I think I prefer Esil more than the typical sexy vampire because– well the trope reversal! She gets to be someone that doesn't use her looks to lure but to show that she is a different species likewise.

Genuine attractiveness to these two because they are quite rare designs that i like the pop of it! Lou Zhigang does give me more danmei vibes but I love Esils kind of cuteness that takes away the sexy vamp trope.

The Sevenths

Let's start with Laura and her ability to just be cool right of the bat! And I think it catches that essence more than it does for Hae In. She does still have the same characteristics as her and can pull it off, but as the rest go downwards it's hard to describe if she's that much of a sexy idol. I think they just pull off more of a cool vibe than anything. Can she wear different kinds of outfits and pull it off? Yeah, but it would also take away her whole character of who she is which is more of a professional rather than a character that one could be interested in. Her appearance is also quite common within the US so it's not quite rare or unique as it is in the case of, well say, Hae In, so withing her location it's not quite as much of a stand out as it is in other places.

I do think the sense of elegance and normalcity also applies to Goto Ryuji. For different enjoyers it's definelty a 10 but in terms of sexyness by itself it's kind hard to pintpoint for me if it will be good top 10. Like the qualities are fine, he is sexy in his own right but when it goes to pull off a casual sexy (say a pair of short sleeves, normal wear) it doesn't fit his looks well. It's just... eh? Like my favorites parts of him was when he was with the armor and the suit on rather than the loose baggy t shirt and jacket he had when he fought jin woo.

Like for these two I don't immediently think "Oh god they are sexy" but more of a "Oh they are quite good looking, yet it seems they mostly are here to act professional." It works for Laura because that her whole main characteristic, it's not being attracted to anyone (Out of the few girls that appear in Solo Leveling too she also isn't one to thrist after Jin Woo, which thank you queen, I needed that. For that you and Kanae have my respect.) And mainly looking a things through a business perspective (while also having a sentimental side with Thomas, which is nice, it's not the "assistant having a crush on boss" trope it's rather the whole female-male platonic friendship that despite being business partners still feels somewhat real when the The "get along or worry about each other, again not for any kind of unspoken feelings but because they have been together for a long time as friends and coworkers")

It also works for Ryuji because their traits where to make people be fooled by their appearance. He seemed like someone who would be level headed and professional, but in fact was really resistant to thinking of others as better than himself and was very egotistical.

The Sixths

They both feel more like they would be the kind of love interests in Doramas especially in the way the get to dress themselves. I can see that some aspects would be sexy for Lennart if his hair was more of a wavy kind of look rather than a pure straight cut. The same I would probably say about Ju Hee, her aspects make her look more like cute-special kind of girl, especially with such bright colors like the orange hair and the blue eyes. There really isn't much for me to say about them as sexy but I think a lot of their characteristics could fit the the shy cute or pastel-sweetheart esthetic fro. Romcoms. For Juhee it's a given, she is bearly in her 20s, she is somewhat of a first friend trope, naturally scared and also a healer with soft features to represent her kind nature. For Lennart it's a small comparison of a cat like eyes due to his sharp sense of sight, but blonde look to represent its European, and since he is made out to be a small force compared to Thomas Andre (when facing against the Beast Monarch) the height and blue faint one-color palettes can make a good contrast to how colorful and big Thomas can be.

Um anyways than you for reading all of that, if you did... I really did like a lot of these character designs so it got me to be like this... :"v

[sluttynurse]

love ur bluey post and want to point out that there's a weird trend of trying to make kids' shows more appealing to adults instead of just making them good for kids. like someone told me that bluey touched on fucking infertility?? and its like ok thats great to acknowledge a mature subject or whatever, but its a kids' show. for preschoolers. like this isn't a topic or a lesson for children, it just feels like an attempt to seem "mature" and give adults more reasons to justify their consumption. like "what is a little kid gaining from this??" that should be the question when ur making a show for kids, not "will this make an adult go 'this cartoon is way more deep than shows for adults' on twitter??"

yeah that trend has been going on for quite a while i believe! people still talk about how friendship is magic started adding more memes and internet references to appeal to its adult audience while forgetting that its intended audience is young children so it's definitely not a new phenomenon. as for the infertility plotline you mentioned i don't think it's a subject that shouldn't be discussed with young kids but i definitely see the concern that it's an attempt to appeal to its more mature unintended audience.

i don't really have any huge qualms about adults watching children's cartoons but i'm always wary when a huge fandom starts to form around it; the adults tend to forget that they're not the target audience and start getting demanding with what they would like to see from the show when it's really none of their business. that and the fanart/discussions surrounding the show get... worse.

[problematicfactive]

I did not think I was going to make another one of these so soon but some of you took that last post as an excuse to come onto my blog, anon, and be an ass to me and diguise it with "I'm problematic so this is soooo relatable"

The target audience of this blog is not factives who were sourced from someone the system knows personally

I've not ever had a problem posting your asks with your experience because I do think that is a issue that doesn't get spoken on and needs to be. I'll be honest, however, and say that it has made me a little uncomfortable as at this point my blog has become moreso posts on that kind of thing and less for infamous factives, but I've not said anything because you all deserve a voice too, and i figured I would just try to pump out a lot of content for us well know murderers and such and try to make it equal

I'm not going to keep doing that if you're just going to come into my inbox and shit on me and act like it's cute and relatable. Lately I've been getting asks that seem to follow this exact format:

Your blog is so nice! It really helps me feel accepted and seen! Im sourced from someone who has hurt us in our life and has not been recognized or popularized by the internet. People just don't understand what its like to be someone with a low end identity and not some stupid, popular, famous introject

And as some stupid, popular, famous introject, get the fuck off my blog? I don't owe anyone anything and I certainty don't owe you the privilege of speaking these things onto this blog which it targeted to the Ted Bundy, the Kanye West, the famous people that no one fucking likes.

This blog is not for Joyce D. The systems neglecting mother or Jax H. The hosts racist ex. I don't mind if you guys are here and feel accepted into this blog, I accept you here, but this blog is primarily for the people who are outcasted and ostracized for being who they are, and I can promise you, Joyce, factive of the hosts neglecting mother, you will not get half of the shit from the internet that Jeff, factive of Jeffrey Dahmer will. I promise.

If this weird habit of coming into my asks to shit on infamous problematic factives continues, I will not hesitate to delete this blog. I don't owe you anything.

[littlestsnicket]

@kuwdora and @sassaffrassa

i did a thing! what sort of thing? a my creative process is a nightmare and i like to write bits of things to throw at a wall and see what sticks and if it doesn't work hopefully i'll be able to canibalize it for parts Witchyr app fic sort of thing.

for the moment, yen has a post transformation body--because the experience of being physically changed to be more palatable to others is an important part of her canon character for me, but who knows if that's what's going to work best for medical device hacker!yen in this fic--but deals with chronic pain. she has a migraine here because that's the only thing i have experience with to write without doing research, and i'm not at the doing research phase yet.

this is all pre-geraskefer vibes, because my current idea is that i can use their developing relationship to try and anchor this story to keep it from getting totally out of control, but i don't actually know if that will allow me to explore the political/economic cyberpunk nonsense i want to explore. we'll see. (another potentially useful piece of context is that--while this is a cyberpunk story in my head--it has none of the vibes that the genre usually has, as it's kind of supposed to be about how close we are right now to the dystopian elements of cyberpunk so i wanted it to feel more grounded in our present, but this fic snippet is not at all any of that yet.)

fic snippet under cut (1.1k, oops that's probably my median completed fic length)

Geralt felt completely useless. He was a witcher; that made him the target audience, not a useful participant in trying to get this startup off the ground. He had been silently, with increasing anxiety, watching Jaskier practically vibrate with tension for about half an hour before Jaskier finally snapped.

“As the closest thing we have to an HR department, I have to know, are you one of those asshat engineers who thinks anyone not directly contributing code is a waste of space or do you have a problem with me specifically?”

Yennefer looked sincerely offended for a moment, but she schooled her features into a bored scowl. “You specifically.”

“Oh, alright then, we can work with that,” Jaskier replied with deceptive calm as he tipped his chair back on its hind legs until it creaked in protest. Yennefer started forward, not even leaving her seat, but it was enough to make Jaskier flail. He was only saved from sprawling across the floor by Geralt’s witcher fast reflexes. 

Jaskier fixed his attention back on Yennefer as if the incident hadn’t even happened, standing up but not crowding into Yennefer’s space before Geralt had even fully stabilized the chair. “Do you think I’m a spoiled rich kid? Because by the gods, have I got news for you. I am! And you can get the fuck over it or find someone else to bankroll this operation and deal with lawyers and tear their hair out trying to put together a fucking business plan— ”

“Jaskier,” Geralt interrupted softly. 

Yennefer, surprisingly, levered herself out of her chair and left the room.

Jaskier sighed, deflated. 

“You’re not…” Geralt trailed off, thinking of the kid that had stubbornly subsisted off ramen noodles so he could pay his half of the rent even though it had been the heyday of the Witchyr app and Geralt could have—had offered to—cover it. Geralt had seen Jaskier act like an entitled prick, used to getting his way because of who his parents were, but he was also so stubborn, dedicated, and kind.

“I try so hard, Geralt,” Jaskier swallowed audibly, “but that’s the point. I have to try and it won’t do anyone any good for me to forget that.”

Jaskier shoved his chair over so it clattered against Geralt’s and plopped back into it to slouch to rest his head on Geralt’s shoulder.

“Should I try to talk to her?”

“Hmm,” Geralt responded, indecisively.

“I want her to like me. I want her to let me help. I want her to know she’s not alone. But she makes it so difficult… Fuck, I am so tired.”

“When’s the last time you are a vegetable?”

“What?” Jaskier straightened up to look at Geralt incredulously. Geralt raised his eyebrows.

“I’ve been drinking the stuff. You know, the green stuff? That you mix with water?”

“That’s code for you don’t remember.”

“No, it’s code for I’m almost 30, and despite my miraculously youthful looks my body is not as springy as it used to be,” Jaskier smiled slightly. “It may also be code for I don’t remember.”

“I’ll make you dinner, would be good for you to eat real food.”

“May I invite Yennefer?”

“You’re paying for groceries, you can do what you want.”

Jaskier hummed, taking a page out of Geralt’s book.

“We’re all tired,” Geralt said, letting some of his own instinctively concealed exhaustion show.

“Exactly, she’s tired too.” Jaskier stood and followed Yennefer through the door.

“Yen?” Yennefer’s back was turned as she stared out the window in the tiny reception space with the perpetually unmanned desk. She had been hugging herself, trying to force herself to breath, but had to steady her hand against the windowsill when she startled and the sharp movement made her vision spot. Her migraine was so bad at this point it didn’t even hurt.

Jaskier reached a hand out towards her. It hung uselessly between them for a long moment before he shoved it into the pocket of his jeans.

“What?” she snapped.

“Geralt decided I needed a break, and I’ve decided you need one as well. He’s going to cook dinner at my place.”

“And?”

“You should join us.” Jaskier’s smile looked hopeful and Yennefer had no idea what she had done to deserve this, neither the kindness nor the irritation.

He studied her intently and then nodded. “Good, you can meet us there in…,” Jaskier raised his voice and Yennefer wanted to drive a fork through her temple. “Geralt, how long will it take us to get groceries?”

Geralt pushed the door open and looked at Jaskier with poorly concealed fondness; Yennefer didn’t understand why he bothered. “If you’re involved, at least 45 minutes.”

“Ok, well, you have my address. Geralt will text,” Jaskier gave Yennefer a stern look like he was daring her to object. He flexed his fingers and wandered back into the other room, presumably to gather his things.

“You don’t have to,” Geralt said in a tone that Yennefer thought might mean he didn’t want her to eat dinner with them, but he was so bloody hard to read sometimes.

“No, it’ll be nice.” It would not be nice, but somehow, even though it shouldn’t, going back to her apartment or staying in their tiny office space on her own seemed even less nice.

Geralt frowned at her with careful thoughtfulness. “Any dietary restrictions?”

“No,” Yennefer smiled ruefully, “that is the only way my body has been remotely cooperative.”

Geralt nodded, a frown still maring his expression. She wondered if he could smell how much pain she was in or something. She didn’t know much about how the mutagen enhanced witchers worked, but it was one of the cybernetic sensory enhancements available to higher level witchers now.

“You cook?” Yennefer asked, surprising herself with a sincere desire to know more about Geralt.

“Hmm. I can follow a recipe or execute on Jaskier’s vision. He’s a good cook but only—you’ve met him.”

Yennefer laughed at that; she could picture Jaskier walking out of a war zone with an oblivious smile and a perfectly golden crusted beef wellington. Laughing turned out to be a bad idea though and Yennefer had to fight through a wave of nausea.

Geralt had taken a few cautious steps toward her by the time she could focus on her surroundings again. 

“May I?” he asked. Yennefer made a vague affirmative noise even though she had no idea what he was talking about. His hand pressed against the base of her neck through her shirt. She had no idea what he thought he was doing, but his hand felt impossibly warm, and that warmth was energy she could channel into nudging all the muscles she was involuntarily tending to relax. Probably, Geralt had been around long enough to have a basic idea of how magic worked and knew exactly what he was doing.

Hollowed out weariness rushed in to replace the pain, but she knew it would be futile to try and sleep. Dinner would probably help.