#if u have a specific tag for this please let me know so that i can use it and u can blacklist it for future reference as well
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6okuto-moved ¡ 1 year ago
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would u guys mind if i made a new tag list form and completely restarted them. be honest.
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axelaxolotll ¡ 1 year ago
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hi guys. at the time of writing this i have forty (40) mutuals, and yet, each time im added to a tag game, i tag the same five people. 3 of which do not want to be tagged most likely. guys pls lmk if i can add u to tag games PLS 😭🫶
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rafescolors ¡ 2 months ago
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meeting dad!rafe and his baby girl.
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𖹭 pairing: rafe x reader.
𖹭 summary: you meet rafe while his baby is crying and you offer your help.
𖹭 tags: fluff, au, rafe's a girl dad.
𖹭 warnings: one mention of postpartum depression (mentally ill girlies let's go), suggestive stuff at the end.
𖹭 other: fem!reader, reader doesn't like the idea of pregnancy but feels insanely attracted to dad!rafe.
tis what happens when u have baby fever thinking about rafe cameron being a girl dad but detest the thought of actually having babies. not proofread<3
act: i have no idea how babies work please excuse any inaccuracies.
◟ ⟡ ◟
USUALLY, YOUR FIRST INSTINCT WHEN ENCOUNTERING A BABY IS RUNNING AWAY. You know you are not meant to be pregnant and have a baby, the risk of postpartum depression too big to take it. And also, you are kind of really fucking bad with them. They stared, you did, they cried, you looked away. Rinse and repeat.
And yet, when you see a big, tall guy with a tiny baby in his arms, crying like it's getting mauled, you can't help yourself: you walk closer to him, his misty, desperate eyes waking something in you.
"Hey, can I help you with something?," you whisper gently. "'M kinda bad with babies, but I can try. I'm also great at following directives."
He looked up, his watery eyes meeting yours.
"She's- she's been crying non-stop for like half an hour. I think she's hungry, but I forgot her formula, and I can't take her to some local grocery store, they death glared me when I tried, but I don't have anyone to look after her."
You hum, nodding at his rapid words.
"I could grab the formula. Or the baby, if you show me how to-" You make a gesture indicating having a baby in your arms. "It'd be safer for me to buy the formula, though." You frown, thoughts going to dark places about people trusting their kids with strangers.
He starts nodding, clearly relieved. "Give me your number. I'll send you a picture of her usual formula and a B and C option."
You smile at him, grabbing his offered phone and typing both your number and name. When he sees it, he says it softly, like tasting the way it sounds from his lips.
Your heart skips a beat.
He smiles brightly at you.
"Thanks, sweetheart," he kind of purrs, the name softly rolling from his tongue. You shiver.
With a dazed nod, you walk towards the closest grocery store and look for any option. Finding none, you huff and try two more of them before you finally find one of the options.
You brandish it as if it's a prize, smiling at him.
"Here! Do you have where to make it? I live a few blocks from here if you don't."
He smiles, relieved, and nods at you. "Yeah, please. You're an angel."
You blush before turning around and guiding him to your place. It's a little two bedroom with a small private yard. You enter the place, giggling when your puppy jumps up at you. "Hey, girl, down, we have visits." You let him in.
"I'm Rafe, by the way," he mumbles, his eyes looking around at your home.
You hum in acknowledgement, pointing him to your favorite reading couch, knowing it's soft and cushiony and the best place to sit on.
Yet he stands there, his expression thoughtful. "Would you mind looking after her?," he whispers over his baby's cries. You blink up at him, confused. "I have to make the formula. It's a specific heat and all that, so it's safer if I make it."
You look down, frowning, realizing you hadn't even thought about it. With a firm nod, you walk towards your couch and sit, making grabby hands in his direction. "Please feel free to accommodate, I don't have the slightest idea of how to grab babies so small."
He chuckles, his eyes softening when he looks down at his baby.
With a nod, he walks towards you, moving the baby to one arm while using the other to move yours around until they're in the perfect position. You hold your breath, gently grabbing the baby, scared you'll hurt her. He stands behind you, his arms wrapping around yours in a way that makes your breath quicken, tightening your grip and accommodating the baby's head on your arms.
"Keep her head up," he whispers in your ear, making you shiver. "Be gentle but firm. She won't break." You nod silently, scared of moving.
He chuckles at the image you make, gripping the baby with scared and wide eyes.
He hums while making the formula, checking on you with quick glances. You sit still, not even breathing too deeply, the baby looking up at you with wide and curious eyes while she sniffles lowly, not crying bloody murder anymore. You think it's because the curiosity trumped her hunger. You keep your eyes on her, both of you staring at the other, and strangely, you feel yourself relaxing, gently moving one hand until you can tap her little hand that's on her mouth. "Hi, there, little lady," you whisper.
She blinks up at you with big blue eyes, and you can't help but smile when realizing they're the same ones as his dad's.
"Oh, you're cute," you whisper in a small whine. "I usually think babies are ugly, you know?" You keep talking to her as if she understands you, as if she's a fully grown human being. She garbles in response. "Oh, yeah, you're really cute, actually. It's strange."
You hear someone chuckling and gasp from surprise, yet your body doesn't move an inch in your attempt to not let the baby fall.
"She likes you," Rafe murmurs in your ear, his hot breath tickling your skin. "She's never stared at someone so hard, you know?" Your breath hitches at his proximity.
"Babies kinda stare at me a lot. But then they cry. 'S weird she's not crying."
He laughs softly, his arms wrapping around you again before he lifts his daughter from your arms.
"Seems like she really likes you, then."
You stand up abruptly once she's in his arms, your eyes following the way he walks around your small living room, lightly patting her back. He reaches for the baby bottle, shushing her when she cries out softly and grabs for it, gently moving it in the right position so she can suck. Your breath catches in your throat, the image in front of you so domestic and hot at the same time. How is it possible that being so gentle with his baby makes this man ten times hotter? The way his biceps bunch under his clothes, his strong forearms around the baby's small body, his big hand wrapping around the whole baby bottle. You squirm a bit in your place, feeling something you've never felt before.
Fuck, you're attracted to a dad.
He's so big yet so gentle yet so strong yet so soft and it's making your head dizzy. You clench one of your hands in a fist.
"You're staring," he smirks, arrogant.
You blush, huffing. "Baby's cute."
He snorts. "I think you're staring at her cute dad," he teases you.
With a roll of your eyes, you cross your arms.
"'M just ovulating, probably," you grumble, feeling too vulnerable under his knowing, intense stare.
He laughs, the baby in his arms moving with his body, yet never getting her grip off the bottle.
"Ovulating you say? Means you want a baby and a baby daddy?"
You chew on your bottom lip, eyes crinkling with a smile.
"Maybe," you mumble softly, looking up at him through your eyelashes.
Who the fuck cares, that man is hot, and has a kid, and he's very soft and gentle with her and you don't see a ring on his finger. And you just know if he was with someone she would never let him out of her sight with a baby in his arms. Women go crazy over dads.
You included, it seems. For this specific dad.
"Don't actually wanna be pregnant, but maybe I'd like the act of trying," you shrug nonchalantly.
His grin turns wolfish.
"Well, sweetheart, you're in luck. 'Cause this baby daddy would really like to try to get a pretty girl like you pregnant."
You blush, giggling and squirming in your place. "Jesus, explicit much?"
He laughs, throwing his head back and baring a strong, wide neck you just want to kiss and bite all over.
"Oh, angel. I can be way more explicit. Can't, though. My baby girl here is an innocent bystander."
You huff. "Yeah, wouldn't want her to know her daddy is thinking dirty thoughts," you tease him.
He smirks at you, eyes dark. "Wouldn't want that."
You look to your side, hiding a smile.
"Are you here for some vacation or to stay?," you ask quietly, your eyes darting to the way his baby blinks up sleepily at him, her grip on the bottle slacking with the last drops of milk.
He hums, walking closer to you until you feel both his and his baby's body heat from the little space between you.
"To stay. Why?" His question is said in a rough, low tone, his voice scratching some part of your brain that makes it go a bit hazy.
"We could see each other again?," you ask hopefully.
His eyes scan you from head to toe, slowly and heatedly. "I'd like that, baby," he purrs.
Your heart skips a bit, the baby's small yawn waking you from the trance he has you on. You jump a bit.
"She's done."
He smiles. "Yeah, would you mind me staying a bit? The hotel's check in is a bit later."
You nod your head before he can even finish. "You can," you say breathlessly.
With a sharp smile, he throws the bottle towards the big couch in the middle of your home, his hand sliding towards your face, gently tracing your cheekbone.
"Great. Maybe we could get to that baby making stuff. Without an actual baby resulting from it," he wiggles his eyebrows.
You laugh, turning red. You can't believe you said that and he just rolled with it.
With a small nod, you agree. "Yeah, maybe."
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grandisknight ¡ 9 months ago
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kiss me through the phone | caleb
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summary: You hit Caleb’s line one night, wondering how he’s been. Little did you know, you were about to find out all about it and more.
tags: nsfw (mdni), gn!reader (no specific descriptors), teasing, banter, phone call (phone sex), swearing, dirty talk, (semi) guided masturbation, mutual masturbation, ejaculate
wc: 2.6k | ao3 | kinktober in deepspace masterlist
a/n: replaying through the early main story brought this about caleb i miss u sm
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When the sun rises, the moon falls in perfect harmony. Such was the way of the world, but it doesn’t lift the heaviness lingering in your heart any further. Especially when that same sky separates you from someone you miss so, so dearly.
A dedicated fighter pilot of the Deepspace Aviation Administration, Caleb was away from Linkon City more often than not. 
Either having his nose buried in the paperwork or wings soaring through the skies—he always reassures that he was safe, all in one piece for you to inspect when he returns for a monthly visit. Still as tall as ever, as lovingly annoying as ever when he pretends to be hurt at a pinch to his arm. His laughs only grow in volume the longer you chastise him for it.
Caleb was the apple of your eye. And currently, the same apple plainly stares back at you through a phone screen. A pair of poorly drawn eyes and a lopsided smile overlaid the crisp, red apple beneath; it looked silly, befitting of the man who doodled it on. 
You wonder how he was doing—if he ate today, were the clouds kinder than the last storm he told you about. Taking a glance past your bedroom window provided you no semblance of an answer. The blanketed stratosphere was only a pitch black of night and stars littered about them plenty, neatly settled into the evening.
(Call him, you should call him.)
Your fingers hover above the button, room for second thoughts lost to time when you instinctively pressed down. Bringing it to your ear, the dial tone drones on, and so does your heart in wait.
He doesn’t answer on the first ring, and a feeling of unease curls into your gut. Far too soon to jump to conclusions and worst case scenarios, but what if… just, what if something was wrong? 
Your heart lodges itself into your throat when you press again, letting the ring dull your ears and become nothing but a monotonous doom. Again, and again. Your own worries are bound to eat you alive by the third ring. 
(Please pick up, please, please, please.)
Miraculously, the receiver crackled and a voice so warm greets you, albeit a bit… breathless. “Hey there. You’re still up?”
“Caleb,” you exhale, feeling relief wash over your nerves. Of course he was fine, you scared yourself over nothing. Straightening your back against the headboard, you return the phone to your ear and ask, “Are you okay? You don’t sound so good.”
Rustling could be heard from his end—laundry, maybe? And a faint snap catches your attention, especially when he only hisses and delays his response. 
“I’m—“ He clears his throat. “Yeah, all good. What’s up, pipsqueak?”
“Don’t ‘pipsqueak’ me, Caleb,” you say firmly. “Did you break a bone before picking up the phone?” The joke was light-hearted at best, though a hint of your concern faceted the same words.
“No,” he heartily laughs. Even the muffled receiver doesn’t conceal how lovely the sound is. “Sorry, I was just… preoccupied, before I saw your call.”
Your brow quirks at the odd phrasing, and you point out, “Doing what, exactly?” 
You pull back your phone to read the time, seeing it’s only a quarter past nine. There wasn’t much to do around this time of night, when the streets were quieter and people kept to themselves within their abodes.
“Stuff.” He off-handedly replies, doing the most to answer you indirectly. “Anyways, what’d you call me for? You’re not hurt or anything, are you?”
“Physically? No. Emotionally? Depends,” you answer. “But I’ll live.” Toying with the edge of your blanket, you add on, “Don’t change the subject, either. I can hear a liar when they come and go.”
“You never let me off easy,” Caleb muses, seemingly conceding to your observation. “Listen, pick a number, one or two, and I’ll tell you.”
“One and a half,” you snicker.
He sighs in disbelief. “That wasn’t an option at all.”
“It counts as both,” you reason with a shrug. “That way, you’ll tell me what’s up either way.”
Caleb doesn’t answer right away, seemingly pondering his response. A part of you feels guilty for finding a loophole to a simple play. “No pressure or anything, really. I was just,” you pause, puffing out a small sigh. “Wondering how you were doing today, that’s all.” 
Maybe a text message would’ve gone over better; that damn apple had a good reason for staring so stupidly at you on the screen. 
“I can hang up—“
“No,” he interjects, with some tone of urgency that has you stilling your fingers. “Wait, hold on. Don’t hang up just yet.” 
More shuffling could be heard on his side, before he softens his words and says, “Today was kinda slow, so I’m alright. Better actually, since you called.”
Ah, there was the answer to one of your questions. You can’t help but let out a small laugh, though appreciating his intent. “Caleb, that’s really cheesy.”
“You like cheesy things,” he points out, and you could practically see the grin on his face. “And it’s the truth. Dinner was fine too. Nothing exciting really happened, and y’know how they are at the DAA.” 
Secretive, though maybe it was for the best. You have asked him in the past, though met to no avail because of the very reason. Another checkbox to your wonders is met.
“I missed this,” you quietly admit, now pulling apart one of the frayed strings the blanket once had. “Hearing your voice.” And seeing you, though the unspoken words linger in your throat.
There was still some time before he was due to fly down into Linkon, yet every time felt longer than the last. To you, at least. It was the highlight of your month, knowing he would be around. Walking through Bloomshore together, pointing out sights you’re well-accustomed to, but enjoy every time because you’re with him. Sometimes, you’ll notice little things you miss along the way, and he’ll tease you about the finer things in life.
Caleb fondly returns your confession, as kind as ever. “I miss you too, silly.” A moment of comfortable silence passes, before he asks, “Isn’t it late? You should get some rest.”
You chew your lip, eyes wandering off to the night sky beyond cool glass. He wasn’t wrong, but you weren’t ready to let him go just yet. And you still have another curiosity seeking its answer. “Stay on the line until I fall asleep?”
“I can never say no to you,” he says in acquiescence. You inwardly cheer at the victory. “But… Ah, could you give me like, five minutes?”
You hypothetical pom-poms pause their feathery shakes at his request. “For?” It isn’t that you are unwilling, but your curiosity only increases tenfold.
“I didn’t finish,” he mumbles, quick and low in its delivery. He was more so speaking to himself, but you caught the faint breath all the same.
“Finish what?” You question. “Caleb, I can’t hear you if you talk like that.”
“I was in the middle of a session,” Caleb quickly answers. “There, I said it. Now you know.”
Oh. A session. That was the last thing you were expecting to hear. The puzzle pieces finally make sense then—his breathless entrance, and shuffling that most definitely wasn’t laundry. Then, surely, the snap must have been, “Your underwear?” You finish your spoken train of thoughts in surprise.
“Way to put me on the spot,” he awkwardly chuckles, before clearing his throat once more. “Look, I’ll call you back once I’m done—“
“Stay,” you say. Though, it takes everything in you to speak without wavering to reveal the heat quickly budding in your body. You press your legs together instead, hoping the suppression would tame you some. “And let me hear it.”
Caleb nearly chokes on his saliva.
“You—You’re joking, right?”
“I didn’t stutter,” you tell him. “I’ll help you through it. After all, I’m the one who interrupted your precious alone time.”
“Okay,” he murmurs in thought. Then in acceptance, “Okay, fine. I’ll entertain you for now, but promise to sleep after.” 
“Promise.”
Even when it was concerning his manhood, he still had it in him to put your well-being into foremost consideration. How thoughtful. Sweet even, if it weren’t for the direly lewd context of the matter.
You didn’t have the patience for such kindness, chirping instructions of, “Great. So get to work, yeah? Carefully remove those boxers for me, first.”
“Roger that,” Caleb chuckles. You could make out the snap and slide of a waistband, fabric rustling to be likely thrown aside for tomorrow’s Caleb to deal with.
“Use your dominant hand,” you say, raising your own in thought. “And give yourself some nice, slow strokes from base to tip. Squeeze when you get to the head, just enough to get some pre out.”
“Ah, fuck.” You could hear a faint wetting of his lips before they produce a slick spit, surely coating his palm in preparation. He dutifully follows your words with a moan, and you bite down your own just so you could savor the sounds. 
“Talk to me Caleb,” you breathe out in turn. “How does it feel? Where are you right now?”
“My room, just me in here. Need—hah—more, but it’s so good,” he manages between breaths. “Would feel even better if you were here with me.”
“Mhm,” you confirm with a hum. “I bet you’d like that. The way my hands would wrap around your cock, pumping you the way you need.” 
He hisses through his teeth, more than pleased at the idea. “You’d look so pretty doing it too.”
You find yourself salivating, fingers itching at the ghosting feeling of such illusory warmth. You wet your lips, your own hands slowly creeping towards the warmth between your legs and past the blanket. It was instinctual, though you couldn’t hide your gasp in time and Caleb snickers.
“Oh? Was that what I think it was?”
You could map out his cheshire grin from the question alone, though you didn't have it in you to deny him. “Not my fault you sound so hot like this,” you sigh, pressing the pads of your fingers in a slow rub. “Thinking about you right now has me all worked up.”
“What, you think about me when you touch yourself?”
The answer is as clear as a cloudless day in Linkon, and a sense of want seeps into your voice. “Can’t help it,” you nearly whine. “Happens ‘cause you’re gone so much.”
“Fuck,” Caleb curses. “Me too, trust me. I’ll be home soon,” he promises, though it fades off into a quiet grunt and strained sighs. “Soon, I’ll be there and you can have me in any way you need me.” 
You pray that eventuality becomes your near reality by the time morning comes, even if it was an impossible dream. “You can go faster,” you encourage, increasing your own touches against clothed skin. “Do what you need, I’m right here.”
A slight clunk draws you from the lust hazing your thoughts, a pin of concern dropping into your mind. You ask, “Caleb? You okay over there?”
“Phone was in the way,” he says hurriedly. “Speaker’s on, I need both hands.”
Much to your delight, the audio becomes clearer through the speaker as a result. The slaps of skin every time his hand moves up and down his length, to the faint slick of lubed saliva messily enhancing his strokes—they were all there. But the prettiest sounds of all were the gravelly groans stemming from his throat in perfect harmony.
You think about how his abdomen would contract with every breath, the way his brows knit together in concentration. The luminous glow of his amethyst eyes, their sparkle now overlaid in clouds of unadulterated want. The shapes of his lips when he smiles so sweetly to creating the desperate moans you’ve endeared yourself to the entire call. You miss him, and it hurts.
And how much you crave to hold that image between your fingers, instead of needlessly curling and pressing around the fabrics of clothes and their cotton. Your thighs squeeze instinctively with a particularly drawn out moan from the receiver.
Caleb’s voice lowly calls out to you. “Do you hear it? How my cock aches for you?” As if you weren’t lasered in on the very noises this whole time, only growing feverishly with every pump.
You mewl at his cadence. “I do, oh I do. What I would give to have that cock all for myself, hot and heavy and mine.”
“It’s a shame.” His breaths grew increasingly shallow with every word punched out. “You won’t get to enjoy all this cum I’m about to—haah—give, such a shame.”
Your hands shake, closer to the brink than you once thought. “A-ah, you’re not wrong—!” You fall back against the headboard, shoulders sinking in and legs shifting in ardent need. 
“Caleb, are you, please tell me you’re—“
“Close?” He pants, arousal embedded into every breath. “Oh, I have been. Practically leaking and waiting for you to tell me when you want to come.”
Your mind dizzies, his voice the perfect charm that pushes you to the edge of release. “Do it now, please, please, please.” Babbles of direction and your pleasure blur together, unable to hold back and with the trembling of your muscles. “Wanna hear you come for me,” you gently cry out, fingertips circling faster over your surely ruined undergarments. “I’m about to—mmh!”
“Coming for you,” Caleb bites out, relentlessly keeping his pace over his sensitive cock. “Fuck, fuck. So much, it’s a mess, ah fuck.”
Your name draws out into a long and decadent moan when he releases, burning into the phone’s static and shooting straight to your heart. The melody sends you spiraling into a wave of bliss, coming undone with just haphazard touches and the vision of his creamy release painting his hands white.
His panting and your own begin to even out in the following silence. Clarity wipes at your muddled thoughts, though Caleb was the first to speak up.
“Hey,” he says softly.
You meet him with the same tone, a small laugh to your calling. “Hi.”
“Feeling alright?”
“Mm. More importantly, are you good?”
Caleb’s chipper reply gives you confirmation. “I’m pretty sure you heard me a few minutes ago.” Another rustle and creak later, you hear his footsteps padding his words. “Need to clean up. You should too, right? Surely it’s not comfortable to be in soaked underwear before bed.”
You gasp, feeling exposed and instinctively pull at your blanket. A poor shield at the moment, if anything. “How did you know I kept them on?”
“I didn’t,” he plainly says. “But now I know.” You could hear him smirking in glee, only growing further when you bemoan the circumstances.
“Yeah, yeah. Laugh all you want, I’m changing out of them.” You slide off of the bed, shuffling footsteps towards your dresser. Out with the old to the laundry basket and in with the new, you return to the pillows and exhale.
“In bed now?” Caleb asks. He lets out a soft laugh when all you do is grumble a response. “Alright. Promise is a promise, I’ll stay on call until you really hit the hay.”
“M’kay,” you mumble through pursed lips, before bringing the screen to them and planting a soft kiss. 
You don’t recall much of what happened afterwards. Only your hushed whispers and Caleb’s gentle voice going on about aviation and work mishaps fill your lingering consciousness. Soon enough, it lulls you into a dream of clouds, where bright eyes of amethyst awaited you with open arms.
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almostempty ¡ 10 months ago
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self esteem part 3 - kick and scream (joel x f!reader)
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wc: 9.3k | masterlist | rating: 18+ | read on ao3 |
previous (part 2) ⎯ next (part 4)
summary: Joel catches you on a date and communicates how he feels about it (the only way he knows how).
tags/warnings: fuckboy!Joel, dub con, smut, pwp, unprotected piv sex, fingering, creampie, dirty talk, public sex, blow job, reader is still sippin' on some dumb bitch juice for Joel (me), jealous!joel, possessive!joel, emotionally manipulative but sexually proficient Joel, toxic breadcrumbing Joel fucks, smash and dash, no use of y/n, AU no outbreak, special guest appearance by date night dave, OOC Dave bc I don’t know that man so I made him single, rich, hot, and pervy idc idc idc, more i might be forgetting rn,  
a/n: please leave feedback! open to constructive criticism or delusional inspiration
thanks: to EVERYONE who read part 1 and 2, but ESPECIALLY  @auteurdelabre for inspiring, I hope you enjoy it bb. I'll try to tag those who specifically asked for more brb
You stare down at the hand that just landed on your thigh, cocking your head in assessment. You can feel the scowl tugging at the corners of your mouth. As you work out what expression you should paste onto your face instead, the man sitting next to you seems unbothered. Maybe even encouraged? He continues his lecture about the benefits of indoor rock climbing. You sigh, staring across the park as he continues without pausing to breathe. 
You watch the couples milling around the park, wondering if that’s what you look like with this guy's hand on your leg. You stare back down at it, his long fingers shifting slightly as he continues his animated speech. Sweat beads at the back of your neck, and you feel fidgety. Trapped under the weight of his limp hand. He doesn’t seem to notice when you squirm and readjust. He’s circled back to his earlier lecture about how you just have to learn to play an instrument. If he’d let you get a word in, you could verify that you already do, but he seems to prefer the sound of his own voice. 
This guy should get a podcast. The kind where a guy with a microphone talks to himself for three hours about whatever he wants. He’d crush it. You laugh to yourself, unintentionally encouraging him with your smile. He’s not not good-looking. But you’d prefer someone interested in asking you at least one question. 
You stifle a laugh at the intrusive thought of taking him home and stripping his clothes off while he prattles on about amateur bird-watching, sorry–birding, or unicycling. 
Eventually, you extricate yourself from the disappointing date, accept an awkward hug, and turn down dinner. You haven’t left the parking lot yet when your phone buzzes. 
Unsaved number: had a great time with u
Unsaved number: would love to see u again :) 
It’s not that your skin crawls, but it is a full-body no. 
You: thanks, I’m glad I got to know you more 
It’s not technically a lie. You’re glad you learned he’s not a fit for you. You feel okay about leaving it at that for now. You watch the sunset from your parking spot. The park is filled with couples laying on blankets being romantic. You roll your eyes at them and then at yourself for being bitter. Your phone buzzes again, and you wince, hoping it’s not your long-winded date again. It’s not. 
Joel: what you doing?
Fucking Miller. You scoff aloud in the private space of your front seat. By now, he should be on your blocked list, but the quick hit of euphoria that floods through your bloodstream, warming your cheeks, keeps you hooked. He’s a filthy drug that blinds you from logic or survival instincts. Your eyes dart to the pedestrians in the parking lot. Worried. As if the milling strangers know what you’re up to and are about to shame you. A little voice reminds you that if you feel guilty about something, you shouldn’t be doing it. You ignore that voice. Nobody in the parking lot catches on, coast clear, and you let yourself grin wide as a fool when you type your response. 
Later that night, you’re grinning again. Sprawled across your couch, sweaty skin plastered to the faux leather cushions. Sated. Bought and sold on your own lie, you tell the little voice that you didn’t want Joel to stay anyway. You convince yourself some form of compromise is happening, however twisted, when he shows up and leaves you wrecked. He comes to you. You don’t have to get to know each other to make each other feel good. Whatever puts you at ease. 
Sometimes it works. Some days, you feel hollow and anxious. Obsessively tapping your phone to see if he’s responded when you reach out first. Pacing around your home, stressing over whether you should stay up just in case and even in bed, you can’t help but stay alert for a knock at the door. 
The cycle leaves you with dark circles under your eyes most days. But, on the mornings after Joel shows up, you have a bright twinkle in your eyes and a knowing smirk that greets you in the bathroom mirror. Katie noticed the smirk one day and called you out. She demanded an explanation for the mystery dick fairy. 
You wouldn’t admit his identity to her, afraid of getting too involved with someone in her boyfriend's network. But you did admit to the toxic cycle, and your friend was not as amused as you when you tried to pass it off as a joke. She tried to convince you to look for someone to date, but you argued that wasn’t what you wanted anyway. She suggested at least someone who could commit to a plan or send a text back. You knew it didn’t sound great out loud. 
As the days of summer crawl along, you wonder if she’s right. At least, it was worth considering. It’s a feeble attempt to smother your spiraling thoughts about Joel. Still, when you start getting messages from the dating app Katie chose for you, it gives you something to interrupt your racing thoughts. At first. Somehow, it starts to feel even worse. Ignoring the sinking feeling you get when it isn’t Joel’s name in your notifications gets more challenging. 
You had accepted that it was a lost cause to plan anything with him, but you still can’t find the self-respect to turn him away when he shows up at your door. Sometimes, he sends you a grammatically inconsiderate text. You wonder if he somehow has a cell phone plan that still charges him by the message with the way he uses as few words as possible. 
He never stays. Never invites you to his. He evades any predictable behavior. Maybe he’s worried someone ordered a hit on him. Maybe that’s all it is, you muse. Not a contracted kill. The unpredictability. Chaos. That’s what makes him addictive. The brightness of the highs makes you temporarily forget the darkest lows exist. That, and the dirty little thoughts that pour from his mouth and drip into your psyche. That stupid, sexy voice burning into your memory, yeah, that’s definitely addictive. You snort at that. I am unwell, you think. As you pick up your phone again, you see a message from someone new. 
\\\///
Heat radiates off your face as you fling another shirt across the room. You’ve tried on the same three outfits over and over again. Ripping them over your head and tossing them into the pile of laundry purgatory. Maybe sweating and mouth-breathing is a turn-on for your date; if so, you’re gonna nail the first impression. You sigh and commit to option two: the little black dress. A classic, right? 
“Shit,” you curse at yourself when you stumble while attempting to pull your shoes on as you walk down the hall. This is what you get for agreeing to a late evening date on a weeknight; you feel like a mess. Scrambling to play it cool and classy, you pause to recalibrate before opening the door. What was his name? You can’t remember. He didn’t look like your usual type, but Katie had convinced you to branch out a little. More specifically, she told you it was a green flag already if he wasn’t your type. 
You swing the door open, hoping he introduces himself first. He looks expensive. The dark-washed denim, the boots, the jacket, and the watch. Like he walked out of an ad campaign for a brand out of your budget. Dave. He does introduce himself, thankfully. He’s more clean-cut than your usual type, but he speaks confidently and gives off an air of put-togetherness that intrigues you. His voice definitely stirs the butterflies in your stomach. 
Oh. You realize you’ve definitely been busy staring at him and have no idea what he actually said with his sultry bedroom voice. Your eyes widen a little. You don’t wanna fuck this up and embarrass yourself. Luckily, he seems unbothered. He tilts his head with a seductive half-smile. He’s enjoying the way you assess him. That definitely does it for you. Stupid, smug men making you weak in the knees. 
“You ready?” he asks, voice all smoky for no good reason. 
“Yeah,” you manage to say as you recall how to speak and act human. Until you see his luxury car waiting for you. He clocks your beat of hesitance. 
“Good.” 
His authoritative voice flips the right switch in you, and you let him lead. When he opens the door for you, it’s like the final component of his spell. You are bewitched. Under a thick veil, you didn’t even notice the truck that rolled by as you sank into the leather seat. You didn’t notice when the truck pulled over up the block, idling noisily on the quiet street. No, you were busy, focused on manually breathing and taking in what you’d describe as the interior of a spaceship. 
The good news is that Dave is charming. He is easy to talk to as he drives. Flirty and quick-witted. He asks you questions and pauses to consider your responses. You aren’t sure you have much in common, but you like his self-assured demeanor. 
When you walk into the club he’s brought you to, you hesitate once again, feeling underdressed. The club is split with a lounge on one side of the bar–full of intimate booths and plush chairs surrounding tiny tables and trendy mood lighting. Kind of like a swanky hotel lobby, you decide. On the other side of the bar is a dance floor, dimly lit with loud music blasting. Women in bodycon dresses and heels fill the room. You feel plain in comparison. 
“I didn’t know there was a dress code,” you mutter. 
“There isn’t,” Dave asserts, “besides, you look good in this.” He accentuates his statement by running his hand down your spine. It settles some of your nerves and lights up others. He ushers you, hand on your lower back, towards a small booth. And as you settle in, he’s undeniably charismatic. Dave doesn’t reveal much about himself but keeps you laughing and seems genuinely interested in you.  
Despite the loud music and people noise, it’s easy to feel like the room is only for you and him. You sip your drink and warm up to his affection. You’re quick to smile, and despite how serious he seems, he has a playful edge that has you on your toes. 
You can taste the chemistry between you, bright and sparkling. He spurs your confidence with his dark eyes when he not so subtly lets his gaze linger on your body. You stop shying away from attention and try to bask in it instead. It boosts your ego and stirs up your desire. 
When you let yourself look, really look, you decide Dave is handsome. His strong features, broad shoulders, and impeccable grooming work for him. He seems meticulous but not too uptight to have fun. A dark sense of humor flirts behind his twinkling dark eyes. You decide to let him know that you’ve determined he is a handsome man. He gives you a look. Like he already knew you thought that. Your cheeks warm slightly at that. Were you obvious? 
It’s not until he peels away from you to refill your drinks that you notice how close you have been sitting. You mourn the loss of his body heat as he walks away. You had low expectations after your last few dates, but tonight, this feels different. Your eyes trail along his path to the bar, and you lazily rest your chin in your palm before your breath hitches, and you freeze.  
You feel like you’ve swallowed a bowling ball. It’s lodged in your throat first, then constricting your chest, until finally, it sinks. A heavy, solid weight flipping your stomach. You’re locked on a different set of dark eyes. They’re glowering at you through lowered brows from across the room. Seated at the same bar where Dave ordered your drinks. 
Joel stares at you over his drink. He downs the glass without taking his eyes off of you. One quirked brow, asking really? 
Really what? Is he judging you? For what, being on a date? 
Another glass replaces his empty tumbler, but he doesn’t acknowledge the bartender or the rest of the world.
This fucking guy. 
The bowling ball in your gut mutates into something fiery. But, you have nothing to be guilty about. It’s not your fault he’s alone, bitter, and drinking at a bar full of people having more fun than him. In fact, you could say it’s his fault that you’re both here. 
A scowl forms on Joel’s face when Dave slides back into the booth beside you. Good. You hope he suffers. You hope he sees how easy it is for someone to treat you well. And how happy you look. 
You don’t hesitate to lean your body against Dave, giving in to your urges. You squeeze his arm when he makes you laugh, and your touch lingers. He preens under your admiration when you comment on his firm biceps. He is quick to match your advances. Finding excuses to brush your hair behind your ear and settling a heavy palm on your knee. His hand creeps a little higher up your thigh but doesn’t graze the hem of your dress. Respectful. That’s different. 
You don’t need to look again to feel Joel’s eyes burning into you. It incites you that he has the audacity. The gall to make faces at you for showing up on a date. You decide you’ll give Joel something to scowl about, feeling emboldened by your date’s touch.  
You slide Dave’s hand further up your leg, letting go when he gets the idea. You reach for your drink, feigning nonchalance, but your breath catches, and your hand trembles when he traces his fingertips around the crease of your thigh. He skirts beneath the hem of your underwear, drawing lines over your hip and back towards your center. 
The soft touch tickles deliciously, and you feel the anticipation building in your core. He watches your expression, hawklike, noting the tiniest details in the features of your face. He notes when your breath stutters or your eyelids flutter softly. 
“This what you wanted?” he husks, still watching intently. Yes, yes, yes! 
“Almost,” you toy. Something about having both men’s eyes on you has your skin itching with desire and your blood running hot. 
Dave scoffs softly, repeating your word choice and shaking his head. Almost. 
“You looking for more?” he taunts as he wedges his large hand fully between your legs to cup and tease your cunt. 
You can’t help the breathlessness of the yes that slips out of you. You roll into his palm, and your mouth parts at the friction and his boldness. He smiles wolfishly, flashing his teeth, when he feels you twist and rock against him. His look encourages you. And you tilt your hips and shift your legs to give him better access. 
“Dirty little thing, aren’t you?” he asks, still locked on your face. You swell at this. His eyes lower to your glossy lips before he sips casually from his drink, so composed. 
Your cheeks warm at his words, but he has his answer when he slips a finger beneath the damp lace between your legs and drags it through the pool of arousal gathering at your entrance. Your lips part at the contact, chest heaving, and you give him a nod and coy smile in response to his question. You’ll be his dirty little thing tonight. 
“That’s good,” he declares, pressing a kiss just below your ear before adding, “I’d like to do dirty things to you.” 
His husky voice and declaration stir an urgent need to be touched within you. He continues to agitate your nerves as his hand massages over your swollen sex. Your skin feels tight and prickly, tensing, ready to feel more. You’re unconcerned with the debased nature of being fingered in public. 
When your eyes are instinctually drawn back towards Joel, you shudder. You can feel the twitching of your clit as your cunt floods over Dave’s fingers. The depravity that another man’s glare eases the slip of your date’s teasing touch is not lost on you. Instead, it turns you on even more. Joel’s homicidal stare has you squirming. You’ve seen darkness in his eyes before, but not like this. There’s no twinkle of mocking, and it’s not cruel in a hot way. If looks could kill, then this room would look like the club scene from Blade. 
Dave murmurs something filthy in your ear that makes you gasp. Your hand flies to his thigh, gripping tightly to keep you from melting onto the floor. 
“Don’t be shy, dirty girl,” he croons darkly, “you can touch.” 
“Fuck,” you groan under your breath when you move your hand to find his hard cock straining against his well-fitted jeans. 
He chuckles lowly at the way your eyes widen in response before he plunges two fingers inside of you, and you stifle a throaty sound. Your mind still wanders to Joel, and you wonder if he can see your perverse display below the table. Judging by his clenched fists on the bar, you’d say whatever he can see is enough to fill in the blanks. The sick part of you that feels more turned on by his agony expands within you.  
“Oh god,” you whisper as you suck in air. 
Dave works his fingers lazily into you. You feel intoxicated by the attention of both men. A concern flashes through you that someone else in the club could catch on or see more than you’d like to show. But a feeling in your gut tells you that it doesn’t matter. Dave seems strikingly confident with a lethal attention to detail. And the ferocity on Joel’s face only eggs you on. 
When you think of humbling Joel, a sinister smile pulls at the corners of your mouth. He’s the one that unleashed the horny, risk-taking monster within you and then disappeared. Fuck moping about him. You’re getting yours, you decide. 
You shoot Joel a wink. Pouring gasoline on the fire, hoping it pisses him off. 
You lean into the salaciously tempting energy radiating off of Dave. Reaching to hold his jaw as your lips lock and you let him control your mouth. Kissing him riles you up more. You palm at his erection over his jeans, delighting in the noises that roil deep in his chest. You hold back whimpers as the pressure of his fingers curling inside of you finds the perfect spot. 
He pulls back from your kiss and looks down to watch your hand groping at him. You like watching him watch you. 
“You gonna take it out?” Oh. Fuck, you want to. It feels like more of a risk than you’ve taken so far. 
“Here?” you ask him softly.  
A wrinkle appears between your brows. Dave watches your swollen lips again just as your pink tongue darts out to wet them. He raises a brow at you, eyes dropping to where his arm disappears under your dress. 
“Oh, are you feeling bashful now?” he goads. His fingers curl against that sensitive spot inside of you as his palm presses firmly into your swollen clit. He makes it hard for you to answer. You try to pout at him, but the reflexive rise in your brows at the pleasure betrays you.  He chuckles again. “No? Just distracted, hm?” 
“Fuck,” is all you can mouth. It is distracting. Not the fingers inside you, well, not completely, but the urge. The craving to leverage your lewd new lover’s lack of regard for appropriate behavior into emotional revenge. The thought of Joel growing mad with jealousy as he watches you come overtakes your critical thinking. 
Eat your heart out, Joel Miller! You dare him across the room, letting your jaw fall slack and your brows knit in obvious pleasure. 
“Are you going to come for me?” Dave asks, “Here in this booth? Where anyone could see?” he tuts like he’s disappointed, and it works. The danger of it all does something to heighten your senses. It’s blinding. The bass from the music blaring from the dance floor rattling in your ribs, Dave’s designer cologne filling your nose, the sheen of sweat collecting on your chest, and the daggers in Joel’s eyes when you glance to confirm he’s still watching. All the sensations clash and shove you towards your release. 
“Yes,” you hiss quietly, “yes.” Your eyes slam shut as you try to remain composed while riding his fingers under the table. You flicker in and out of reality as your climax rolls through you. You’re drunk on the reversal of power when your eyes peel open, and you see the hardened expression on Joel’s face glowering at you. You wonder if his dick is just as hard in his pants, and the thought has you contracting again around Dave’s fingers.
“That’s a good girl.” Dave’s voice is somehow even deeper. It sends another ripple of pleasure to swirl low in your abdomen. You’d like to hear that again. 
With a touch more clarity after the violent edge of your arousal is dulled, your hand works at his belt, desperate to feel the heat of his cock in your palm. He assists, lifting his hips when you unbuckle his belt and pop the button on his pants so you can slide your hand beneath his underwear. His tension and urgency further stoke your power trip, and you feel overcome with the need to know how badly he wants you. When you wrap your fingers around him, hear the groan he makes, and feel the mindless buck of his hips, you have a more than good enough answer. He’s yours. 
Dave watches the way your eyes glaze over when your thumb smears the precome dripping from his head down his length. His hand stills distractedly between your legs, and his chin drops as he watches where your hand disappears under his dark boxer briefs. You’re constricted by the elastic waistband, but your grip is tight. Almost as tight as when he fucks his own fist. He’s mesmerized by the way you jerk his cock just right. 
You feel yourself salivating with the need to taste him. You’re getting frustrated with the limited space and want to see him in your hand. You sigh, wishing you could, until you realize you can, and grin. 
You pull your hand back out of his pants, and he snaps out of his stupor. Before he can comment, you cut him off. 
“Keep your pants on and take me to the bathroom so I can suck your cock right.” 
Your voice comes out lower than you thought it would. His eyes flare before he matches your devious look and obeys, spewing filthy thoughts you can’t make out under his breath as he does. He’s ushering you down the hall in seconds, and then you’re locking the door and dropping to your knees. Dave doesn’t wait a second longer, wrenching his belt open and dropping his jeans just enough for his cock to spring free. 
You don’t tease or start slow. He admires how you waste no time like you’re desperate to taste him. And you are. Only pausing for a moment to admire the way he looks, stiff and leaking for you, before you eagerly wrap your lips around him. You slide your tongue everywhere and bob up and down with vigor. Salty and vaguely sweet, precome teases your palette. You want more. The best you can do to express that is swallow around him and suck until he’s moaning and cursing above you. 
You let your saliva pool and spill from your lips so you can slide your hand down the rest of his length while you revel at the weight of him on your tongue. You find the moves that have his fists clenching and thighs straining and repeat them. You hum around him as pride blooms in your chest over how his composure cracks. 
You wonder if Joel has smashed through the bar with his fists yet. At least he didn’t break down the bathroom door before you could get on your knees. Would he strangle Dave first if he saw the two of you? Or would he drag you home and gag you on his angry cock instead? You moan obscenely as your imagination runs wild. You look up at Dave. He watches you with fierce eyes. You wouldn’t mind if they shared you, you consider, but that would take a miracle. 
You continue messily and enthusiastically until your knees ache, and you decide he has to come for you. You try to beg for it while he’s still in your mouth before you have the brains to pull off of him and tell him what you want. He’s endeared by your unrefined hedonism.
He grips your jaw in his palm when you get the words out. 
“You want to swallow my come?” he asks. 
“Yes,” you plead impatiently on your knees with a hoarse voice. You’re a pornographic sight on the tile floor with your wet lashes, swollen lips, and saliva glistening on your chin. You open your mouth for him and hold out your tongue. 
“Oh,” he strokes his thumb along your cheek, smiling down at you, “that’s a good girl.” 
Your eyes close at that, feeling the praise warm your skin before he slides back into your wet mouth. 
Guiding you faster and a little rougher, Dave doesn’t take long to come. Spilling onto your tongue as you groan around him until he stops pulsing in your mouth. You swallow, glowing for him with glassy eyes. He helps you to stand before tucking his softening cock back into his jeans and fastening his belt. You’re adjusting your dress and reaching for your bag on the counter. 
“What do you need?” He asks a little softer than you expected, causing you to pause. 
“Take me home,” you smile at him dopily before pausing and wincing at yourself in the mirror. You look like a freshly face-fucked mess. 
“Uh, actually, give me a few minutes to freshen up first, and I’ll meet you out front?” 
He nods, “I’ll pull the car up.”
“I’d like that.” You reply and lock the door behind him after he slips out. 
Once you feel more presentable, you pull your phone from your bag and tap the screen to check the time before opening the door. 
Seeing Joel’s name makes your stomach flip. You open the text. 
Joel: Miss me? 
It snaps something in you. Something that enrages you. He has to be certifiably insane, you think. It came through a little while ago, but you aren’t sure how long you’ve been in the bathroom. You begin to spiral, debating if you should march to the bar and throw a drink in his face or pretend like he doesn’t even exist. You feel your face burning hot, and the bathroom is suddenly suffocating. You need some air before you get into the car with Dave. Just long enough to breathe normally and look less like you want to break something. 
Leaving the bathroom you find an employee exit further down the hall. A faded sign on the door warns that an alarm will sound, but the rock wedged in the door jam holding it open a crack begs to differ, and you slip into the dark. 
A lanky, pale kid in a black apron sits atop a picnic table in the alley. 
“Oh, sorry,” you feel a little guilty interrupting his break, “just wanted some air.” 
“All good,” he responds before sliding off the makeshift seating. “Last call for the kitchen anyway. Have my seat,” he waves at the table like he’s offering a throne. You accept. Exceedingly grateful to have the air and the privacy to regulate. Just some slow, deep breaths. Then, you can walk out the front door and let Dave take you home. 
The door swings open again, and you tense, ready to hop off the table and find another space. 
“Sorry,” you start your apology, but it’s cut off. 
“You should be,” Joel accuses harshly. He’s in your space with two of his long strides. Rushing at you like you’re caught in a snare trap, and he’s starving. You briefly look the part with your eyes wide in the moonlight, shocked by his sudden appearance, until your barely dampened rage rips from your throat.
“Joel, what the fuck?” you spit out in disbelief, but he interrupts you– 
“I thought I already told you what happens if you’re gonna be a filthy tease?” his voice lowers as he ignores your question and paces in front of you with a dark, wicked stare. 
“What are you doing here?” you press, ignoring his threat. 
“What are you doing here?” he demands. Like he has some certificate of entitlement to your whereabouts. He towers over you. Your eyes narrow to slits. If you could shoot lasers out of them, you’d do it now. 
You laugh. Loudly. You’re still laughing when he grabs you and pivots your frame so your legs dangle off of the end of the table towards him. Closer. He gets even closer, standing between your knees. You tilt your face to look up at him. 
“You on a date?” it’s a growl carved from stone. You choose to remain ignorant to the shiver it sends through you that has nothing to do with the temperature. How dare he charge up on you like a territorial werewolf in the night? And how dare he look so fucking good with that snarly expression? No. You laugh again. Wild-eyed. Words start coming up before you even hear yourself.
“What is wrong with you, Joel? Why were you watching me? You looking for a show?” you jab. Gnashing at him with your words. He snorts dismissively at you, and a barbaric smile creeps onto his face. Like he’s in on some joke you don’t know about. He irks you so bad your skin crawls. 
“S’that what you call it?” he asks, “A show?” Continuing to ignore your other questions. He is so close to you that it burns your skin. 
“No, Joel. You were right the first time. I am on a date. A real date. You know what that is, right? Like, he asked me out, picked me up on time, bought me a drink,” you’re tallying on your fingers, “answered my–”
“And then what, you fuck him in the bathroom and hide out here? Alone in the alley?” 
It clicks. He knows exactly why you’re flustered. The asshole must’ve sent his text for his own slimy experiment. Trying to rattle you. What fucking game is he playing? Is he trying to win you? Like you’re Dave’s possession to lose? 
You scoff at his interjection, “No, Joel, I’m not alone. You followed me out here to make sure of it, right?” 
“Right,” he rumbles. His dark eyes glint even in the shadows of the alley. He leans lower and closer to you until you tip back, palms on the table behind you, then elbows. Exposing your cleavage to the moonlight. He pauses, eyes raking down your face, neck, and chest. How does he make you feel raw and vulnerable even when fully dressed? 
“You haven’t answered me,” you huff. Irritated and arched beneath him. 
“I asked you first,” he argues. A childish rebuttal for a grown man. You’re pretty sure you’ve asked why he’s here a hundred times, but of course, that doesn’t matter. He’s insufferable with his attitude and inability to communicate. Everything about you is taut, and you feel frayed. 
Joel dips his head and his lips brush your ear, tickling you, before he rasps, “I asked if you miss me, baby, and you haven’t answered.” 
A tremor runs through your body. 
It’s criminal. Your mind converts his voice directly into a hot coil of arousal. The throbbing between your legs causes you to wriggle beneath him.
“I need to know,” he croons, begging you to give in. 
His arm slides under your back, lowering you onto the table. Your restraint collapses terribly quickly for him. His voice. His touch. He knows all of your buttons. 
Laid on your back, your legs instinctively wrap around him as he bends to meet you. 
Soft puffs of air shakily flow between your lips as you struggle to concentrate. On what? You aren’t sure. Not good. You squeeze your eyes shut like maybe he’ll disappear. 
“I mean it, baby,” he continues purring with a sharp edge, “you tell me when you miss me.” 
You know it wouldn’t matter even if you did. If you texted him. If you called. It wouldn’t matter. It would probably make you feel worse. But when he says it, you feel your heart doing flips anyway. 
He slides his hands over your body, and you feel the last of your logic escaping as you tug him towards you. You’re grinding against him stupidly without a single thought. Just having him this close to you had you feeling desperate and needy. You could come again right now just by dry-humping like horny teenagers. 
The craving for him is so intense that you’ll surely die if he doesn’t keep moving. You lose any shred of composure that you were still clinging to and let out a needy whine for him. And when your fingers twist and tug at his shirt, it’s like a green light to Joel. 
He closes any and all gaps between you. His hand skates roughly under your dress, bunching up the fabric. He presses open-mouthed kisses against your neck and grazes his teeth enticingly along your jaw. 
Groping, grinding, grunting. All his movements dance a line between deliberate and frantic. 
You have tunnel vision, lost from time and space. When his low moan vibrates through you, your hand shoots to his belt. He rasps into your ear again, “That’s it, baby, I’m right here if you miss me, don’t need some jerkoff tryin’ to waste your time.” Your fingers fumble. What– “Oh, shit!” a voice yells. You freeze. “Don’t mind me!” The drunk guy slurs as he stumbles out the backdoor and sways down the alley towards the street. 
Your situation hits you like a bucket of cold water. Joel seems unfazed, still curled over you. You push at him and sit up. 
“What did you just say, Joel?” 
“Hmm?” he murmurs at you. 
“Joel, I’m serious. What the fuck?” 
He’s not listening. His hands are still searching your body. The scent of his faded deodorant is so familiar in your nose. The words are coming up again. Before he casts his trance on you. 
“No. I said I’m serious,” you repeat, “I’m not playing your games. Done with your weird shit.” Your body feels rigid, and your mind is clearing through the fog of lust. “Just because I have no self-esteem and I fuck you anytime you show up on my doorstep doesn’t mean you have any claim to me.” 
He blinks at you, finally registering your tone, expression shifting. “I actually tried, you know? I wanted to get to know you. You just bail. I keep suffering for it. Like an idiot. I keep thinking it would show I care.” 
“Baby–” 
“And now what? You see me on a date and decide it would be fun to ruin it? Ruin a chance at something better than waiting around wondering if you’ll show up looking to score?” You’re on your feet now. Livid. Ablaze in the dark. “No, you don’t even care enough to think about that,” you realize aloud. 
His features harden. Your head shakes slowly, exasperated with your burgeoning understanding. All you can hear is the white noise buzzing in your skull. Your next words are quieter and lower, forcing him to pay close attention. 
“You just wanted to prove something, right? Thought you’d fuck me on this table and run like you always do? For what, to prove you could?” 
His nostrils flare, and you don’t miss how he grits his teeth.
You don’t falter; he doesn’t scare you. You press on with your accusations prickly on your tongue. You back him against the wall next to the door as you continue. 
“You don’t like hearing it?” you cock your head at him, amused with his discomfort. “Were you going to leave me here in the alley full of your come like I’m some pathetic whore for you? Would you walk me back to my date after that? Was that your plan?” 
Joel snaps, manhandling you in a split second. Pinned against the brick wall, you can hear your heart pounding. It’s a paper-thin line between anger and lust, and you can’t tell which has your blood pumping. You can’t tell if he’s about to yell at you or fuck you. You hate that you can’t tell which you’d prefer.
His eyes are locked onto yours. Not revealing anything. You shift, uncomfortable with the scrutiny. He doesn’t keep you waiting. Joel shoves his hand into your panties, fingers slipping immediately into the fresh pool of arousal between your thighs. A shaky exhale comes out of you, but he doesn’t seem to need to blink or breathe anymore. 
He brings his glossy fingers to your mouth. Silent. He taps at your lip until you open and suck, tasting yourself. His mask slips a little. One brow twitches as he studies the scene of your lips wrapped around both of his fingers. But his eyes flick to yours when he pulls them out of your mouth and drags them down your bottom lip, smearing spit against your chin. 
“Tell me,” he says in a whisper that scrapes across your skin, “does it taste like you miss me?” 
You swallow tightly. A lump forms in your throat now, about as large as a civilization-ending asteroid. 
You can hear your phone buzzing. Forgotten on the table. Panic streaks over your eyes as you wonder how long you’ve been out here. You duck under his arm, dashing for your phone. You don’t look at him. You can’t. As you sprint down the hallway, you swing the door open, kicking the rock in the door jam, hopefully locking Joel outside. Cursing at yourself for almost letting Joel fuck you in the alley across from a dumpster.  
Dave sits in his car, idling along the curb near the front of the club. You’re surprised he didn’t leave. You hope it hasn’t been long. You don’t dare check your phone. Maybe it was only a few minutes, or it could have been an hour. You don’t think time functions normally when you’re around Joel. 
Dave is frighteningly observant, slinking out of his car to open the door for you before you get close enough to reach for the handle. 
“I was just starting to wonder if you’d snuck out the back door,” he chides. 
You feel the blood rushing to the surface of your skin. Hot with embarrassment over your behavior and his on-the-nose word choice. 
“I’m sorry,” you mumble, “I did step out for some air. Wanted to cool down.” 
“Don’t be sorry,” he assures you, tilting your chin towards his face with his thumb and forefinger. Your eyes dart around his face, wondering what he sees on yours. “Was it too much, dirty girl?” he coos. 
“What, this?” you lilt mockingly as you palm over his bulge, “I don’t think so.” 
“Good,” he snorts softly. “Get in the car.” He adds as he opens the door for you. 
He pauses before pulling away from the curb once seated in the driver’s side. 
“Is your boyfriend going to be following us home?” 
“My what?” you feel the blood drain from your face. 
“The one from the bar,” he continues, measured and eerily calm, “the one who followed us here?” Your head starts spinning at that, but Dave carries on, unbothered. “I assumed he likes to watch. You should’ve told me. It would’ve been easier than wondering if he’s a deranged stalker or–” 
“No.” You cut him off and struggle to continue for multiple reasons. “It’s not like that. I thought it was a coincidence,” you feel a confusing mix of emotions. 
“Followed us?” you’re curious. 
“When I picked you up. In the truck?”
“Oh god. No. He’s,” you pause, searching for the right words. 
“An ex?” 
“Not even that. Jesus Christ, I can’t believe he’d follow me.” 
“So he is dangerous?” 
“No.” Only to my self-respect. 
“You want me to take care of him?” 
“No.” You reply before putting any thought behind what that means. “No. He’s just an asshole with a staring problem.” 
You withdraw. You hadn’t thought about why Joel was here. How ridiculous it sounds to imagine Joel voluntarily sitting at the bar in a club like this alone. You feel the blood rushing to your ears. Stupid little butterflies flap their wings in your stomach before they’re reduced to ashes, and you begin to see red again tonight. How is Joel ruining your night without saying a word this time? 
“Take me home,” you say firmly.
He does. Dave walks you to your door. You invite him in, but he’s observant, noticing the clouds in your expression. He declines your invite but assures you he would be very interested in seeing you again. He gives you a chaste kiss that makes you laugh, considering how bold you both have been tonight. It lightens your mood. 
He lingers for a moment before he pulls out his wallet. 
“It was on the house this time,” you snark. Curious about what he’s doing. 
He hands you a sleek business card. A business card? Is this guy Patrick Bateman? 
Your face wrinkles in confusion. 
“I already have your number,” you flip the card over in case you’re missing something. It doesn’t say anything, just has a phone number. 
“I meant what I said, that I’d be interested in seeing you again for pleasure,” he smirks, “but if you change your mind, at least keep this.” 
You don’t understand why you’d need his work phone number but try to play it cool and nod. 
“If your stalker becomes a problem, you call me.” 
You’re still confused about what that means when he drives away. As you shut your door, you realize you have no idea what he does. 
You’re still in the middle of composing a text to Katie about how her green flag date included a bathroom blowjob and a business card when you hear a knock at your door. You swing it open, assuming foolishly that it would be Dave. 
Before you can blink, Joel kicks the door shut and backs you down the hallway. He looks like a man possessed as he hurtles towards you. It sends a chill down your spine that you think would trigger your fight or flight response, but yours seems to be reprogrammed to fight or fuck. Staggering backward, you yelp when the backs of your knees hit your mattress. 
“Can I fucking help you?” you snap at him as you realign with reality. “Jesus Christ, Joel, were you waiting outside the window or something?” 
You glare into his eyes, but a toxic part of you only wants to focus on his lips. And how close they are to yours. You also can’t deny the even more debauched part of you that flutters at the possessive look in Joel’s eyes. 
He laughs darkly, “Nah baby, I knew you’d send him on his way.” 
You roll your eyes at that. Cocky bastard. 
And he is. He emits a frenzied energy as he takes you in. Looking you up and down like a prize. Like he’s considering where to write his name on your skin. 
You roll your shoulders. Trying to shake off the idea that you’d like to be possessed by him, but it thrums persistently inside of you. 
“You didn’t know shit, Miller,” you accuse sardonically. 
Joel reaches for you. You think he’s going to tell you off. But his hands glide over the tops of your shoulders and up the column of your neck until he’s cupping your jaw in both hands. It feels jarring and vulnerable to be held by him this way. To feel like he just wants to look at you and to know you can’t look away. You wonder what’s going on behind his dark eyes. What he sees when he looks at you What he thinks. 
The longer he looks at you, the more the tension builds (of course, because it’s Joel). You start to itch, fingers twitching with the need to grab him and pull his full weight on top of you. Despite your building desire, he’s still quietly reading your face. Joel Miller, the enigma, you muse. 
Before you can flip him any shit, his mouth is on yours, and his hands drop to your hips to hold you firmly against his body. You want him to keep holding you there, but closer. You need him even closer. 
He groans into your mouth, and you kiss him back hungrily. Your bodies slot together in a twisted fate. You couldn’t care less about the date you just had at this moment. You can hear Joel’s words from previous encounters that have burrowed into your consciousness, and you’re starving for more.  
A selfish and greedy satisfaction warms in your chest at him being in your bedroom. He pulls your lower lip between his teeth before breaking away to tease bites along your neck and shoulder. You shiver. Your fingers dig into his shirt, pulling him closer and closer until your knees buckle, and fall into the bed with him on top of you. He doesn’t stop trying to taste you everywhere, trying to feel every part of you. You breathe out single-syllable praise as your thoughts become hazy.  
You still feel needy. You writhe and strain as you attempt to work his shirt up his broad frame. You’re insistent on feeling the blistering heat of his skin against yours. He leans back up, out of your grip, causing you to sigh in exasperation. Of course, it couldn’t be this easy. What does he have to say now?
“You want me to leave?” 
“What? Why?” you growl out. He is not about to body slam you into a bed and then walk away. 
“Thought you were done with my ‘weird shit’ or whatever you called it,” he taunts. 
“I am,” you huff.
“Tell me to stop.” You can’t. 
“Take your clothes off,” you answer instead. 
He does. Then, he’s pulling your clothes off and climbing over you. You aren’t sure you’ve ever both been fully naked like this. Definitely not while in a bed, at least. It’s more intimate than your relationship calls for. It makes time feel syrupy, but your other senses feel sharply tuned. Joel’s breath fans hot over your ear as he tucks his face into the corner of your neck and shoulder. 
“So,” he sucks at your delicate skin before continuing in his smoky tone, “your date couldn’t satisfy you?” 
“Shut up,” you snarl at him, uninterested in playing games. You’re too lost in the intensity of his physical presence. You need him inside of you, and you tug at his body, trying to pull him closer. It’s useless. His strong arms are braced like two stone pillars on either side of you. 
He’s such a pest. His mouth quirks, and he looks all too pleased with himself. You roll your eyes again. You know what he’s getting at. What he wants to hear you say. But, you’re reluctant to stroke his ego. He’s going to be unbearable if. The thorn of it that hurts the most, though, is that it’s not a lie. It’s an admission. A confirmation. 
He makes you feel so good in ways nobody else ever could, but the pain of knowing he’ll never be yours eats at you. It feels like exposing your beating heart in your chest to confess you want him so badly. You ache to hear him tell you he only wants you again. Even if it’s not real, you lie to yourself, you just need to hear it.  
While you wrestle with finding the words, he begins to torment you. The heat and arousal weigh heavily between your naked bodies. He lowers closer and closer to where you need him most but refuses to alleviate your painful want. Wickedly, he exploits your neediness. Teasing at your skin with his tongue, teeth, and breath. 
“Tell me, baby. Just let me hear it,” he says. But you can’t. 
When he blows air over your strained nipples, and you arch under him seeking contact, he darts down to kiss at your stomach and inner thighs instead. When he gets closer and closer to the apex of your thighs, grazing his nose over your mound, you could snap. 
You reach to dig your fingers into his hair and direct his mouth to your throbbing clit, but he’s stronger than you. Devilish man. He crawls back up to hover over your face. You know he’s enjoying it. Wondering how quickly you’ll break. It makes you want to kick and scream.
“Tell me it’s not true then,” it’s a challenge directed at you, but it feels like he’s also challenging himself. 
He drags the head of his cock over the slick lips of your cunt without precision or direction. You are so convinced he’s torturing you, but he looks like he’s in pain from restraining himself as well. It makes you crazy. You try to reach down to line him up with your entrance yourself, but he’s faster. He grabs your hand and pins it above your head. 
“Fine,” you grit out. Frustrated. You aim to smother your fear with sarcasm and puff your chest, hoping it works. 
“You’re right, Joel. It’s true.” He doesn’t move, waiting to hear more. 
“I missed your filthy mouth and your big fat cock.” You mock with an exaggerated whine. You keep going before you lose courage. “And my date couldn’t satisfy me.” You pause, steeling yourself. The corner of his mouth twitches.
“Because even when I had his cock down my throat,” you force yourself to look in his eyes, “all I could think about was you.” 
You tried to keep the snarky, biting tone in that last part, but your voice betrayed you when you met his eyes. It came out sounding as vulnerable as it felt to say. His expression flickers. You feel too honest. You should take it back. You want to curl up. He grins above you. 
“I know, baby,” he coos. You hold your breath. Of course he’s going to be a condescending ass about it, you start to bemoan internally–but when he finally sinks into you, it shuts off your inner monologue and slows down time. “All I can fuckin’ think about,” he says as he fills you as deeply as possible, letting a satisfied sigh fall from his lips. 
All I can fuckin’ think about. 
The words rattle around in your mind. Joel begins to rock into you, deliberately grinding his pelvis against you. All he can think about is you, too? Or fucking you? Or how he’s ruined you for other men? 
All I can fuckin’ think about. 
It echoes in your head as he picks up his pace, splitting you open with heavy, mind-altering thrusts. Suffocatingly intimate. Face to face. Skin to skin. Soul to soul. His voice isn’t just echoing in your mind; he’s also running his mouth about something. Muttering about how he knew you’d be waiting for him, how he’s going to fuck you until you forget your date's name, how nobody else can satisfy your needy cunt. 
Oh. 
He’s not wrong. You want to hear more. 
“Yes,” You can stoke this fire. You don’t mind finding out what happens if you rile him up while he’s inside you. “Only you,” you pant, “nobody else fucks me like you do.” 
He makes a throaty noise in agreement and shifts. Large hands wrap around the back of your knees and press them towards your chest, tilting your hips up. You choke and sputter as he slams into you with force. The new angle creates a blissful intensity. 
“That’s right,” he says, “nobody else.” 
He pounds into you like he could fuck you through the mattress, maybe even through the floor. The lewd sound of his thighs slapping against your ass fill the room. You tuck your chin to your chest to watch the way each thrust makes your breasts bounce. You notice that he’s mesmerized by the same sight, and you take the opportunity to shift your gaze, studying the look on his face. 
It’s more sensual than anything you’ve done together before. You can see the sweat beading on his chest from exertion. You’re nearly folded in half and unable to stop your soft cries and moans. It’s raw, sticky, and vulnerable. You feel warmed at the thought but also fragile. Breakable. Hypersensitive emotionally and physically. It’s all too bright and hot. 
You let his voice push you over the edge, and your climax rips fiercely through your body. You faintly hear him groan as your tight walls contract around him, but his voice is drowned out by the pleasure. Your legs tremble, still balanced over his shoulders. 
Your core muscles spasm as he keeps sawing into you until your hips are jerking at the sensitivity of your come down. He slows, breathing heavily over you. You can see the animalistic edge in his eyes. You have to push it. Play it out. 
“Make me yours,” you incite. 
You definitely just meant to imply, ‘fuck me hard and come inside me, please,’ but you worry he’s interpreted it differently when he drops your legs. Wrong. He turns you over, laying you flat on your stomach, pulling your arms behind your back, and pinning you to the bed.  He straddles your closed legs. Your shoulders strain a little as he leans into you. His heavy body compresses your prone form, and his cock weighs heavy against the curve of your ass; it feels right. A perverted comfort blanket, stealing your breath. 
“Repeat it,” he tells the back of your neck. 
“Make me yours.” You turn your head to the side. You can’t see his face, but you can hear the string of curses he chants when he lines up and wedges himself into you. The added constriction of your position unravels you both. 
“Mine,” he grunts. You muffle your own noises into the sheets, along for the ride. He doesn’t last much longer before you feel him still overtop of you. You close your eyes, focusing on the sensation of the pulsing and throbbing of his cock inside you as he fills you up. Breathing deep, your back rises against his chest before he slides off of you.
You roll onto your side. Facing each other, you still at the sight of him. Another breath shared between you, chests expanding towards each other. For the briefest moment, you think he might stay. You can see the soft edge of relaxation in his features. Your hand drifts toward him, an instinct based on nothing rational, just wanting to feel him. You feel the stupid, dreamy expression settling on your face. Before you can speak or figure out what you were reaching for, he’s snapped out of the bubble of tranquility. His walls are up. 
He’s dressed and leaving, walking towards the door as you can only sigh into your dirty sheets. 
He doesn’t even leave with a snide last word. Just the door closing. 
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535 notes ¡ View notes
midnightbears ¡ 11 months ago
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Arranged marriage with Gyomei pls. Kagaya matched Gyomei with Y/N ​​for some reason and Gyomei slowly falling in love with y/n 🥲🥲❤
✿ i love you, and i want to find out what that means together.
#STARRING: himejima gyomei ft. fem!reader
#TAGS: arranged marriage. gyomei is in his early twenties in this one! set before the main events of kny. some invented lore for the sake of the story please just bear it thanks
#NOTES: hello there! thank you for your request <3 tbh I've always had this specific idea stuck in my head and you just gave me a reason to write for it LMAO i actually went kind of crazy with this fic omg i loved to write it let me know if u would like a part two! hope you like it and hope it wasn't too much LMAOOo
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your existence could be hashed over with one word.
purpose.
ever since you could remember, your entire life had been mapped out for you: what to eat, what to not eat, what to like, what to dislike, what to wear, your hobbies, your pastimes, your vocabulary—everything. apparently, every inane thing that had been shoved down your throat was only done to make you a dignified woman worthy of whichever lord they married you off to.
you and your family hailed from a long line of priests and priestesses, where the girls were raised to be proper wives and shrine maidens and the boys were carefully taught the profession in hopes of serving important figures throughout japan.
you were helping your mother tend to the flowers one day when a messenger from the ubuyashiki clan—a kakushi, as you heard they were called—appeared before your temple's door, asking your father to choose and provide the clan with one of his daughters.
you were picked immediately, and you had no choice but to stand before your father, trembling, and pretend that you agreed with his decision with a serene expression on your face. you could tell this was just his way of finally getting rid of you.
in the words of your father behind closed doors, if someone couldn't be bothered to have the decency to visit the temple in person and instead sent a mere messenger to request a carefully trained shrine maiden, it was clear they didn't deserve the best of what he could offer.
you smiled, agreeing with him.
when you went to pack what little things you had, nobody was in the shared quarters; at least you would spare yourself of your sisters' cruel remarks over your father's decision. you did not have many things of your own; you packed your hairbrush, a book, and what few things you held dear.
the kakushi was waiting outside when you emerged. trying to maintain a semblance of calm, you offered him a small smile. he looked at you with curiosity but did not say anything. kindly, he allowed you a moment for a brief prayer before the buddha statue at the front of the temple. then, you were off.
no one came to say goodbye to you.
it was alright, you supposed. the only person you could think fondly of was your mother, and a barbed wire of melancholy slowly wound around your heart at the thought of not being able to part ways properly. you knew that she preferred you over her other daughters, but even so, you were aware that she would never hear the end of it from your father if she came to say her farewells. you would write to her.
you were the third of six sisters, and always, one of them was more talented than you were, just a tad bit more attractive, just a tad bit more creative, just a tad bit more charming. sure, you were well-versed in the duties of a useful spouse—okay, all your sisters were as well. what good was that when you had nothing special about you? what was it your father called you? ah, yes, mediocre.
the kakushi did not speak to you for the entire trip, for which reason you did not know. a question hung on the tip of your tongue, although you dared not ask it. at some point, he urged you to wear a blindfold and climb on his back, which you simply accepted, knowing better than to ask.
you didn't make anything out during the journey, only listening to the sound of small pebbles vibrating against the ground as he made his way up a mountain. after what felt like hours, he finally put you down, gently tugging the blindfold off you and allowing your eyes to adjust to the bright light of morning.
once you were presentable, he escorted you toward the estate entrance. you could tell he was a bit off put by the way you were just accepting things, but he didn't say anything about it.
the kakushi stopped before the towering gate of the ubuyashiki mansion and offered you a deep bow. you thanked him, and you could see him smile with his eyes before he left. another kakushi, a woman this time, escorted you toward a graveled garden, a small figure sitting by the engawa.
she knelt on the ground and bowed her head, and you did the same until she picked herself from the ground.
looking forward, you met the gaze of a boy who looked to be around the age of fifteen, with kohl black hair that sat just above his shoulders. he had the most beautiful eyes you had ever seen, so easy to look at, lavender tainting the irises. he had the calming smile of a buddha, and although knowing nothing about him beyond reputation, you felt at ease with him.
"i am kagaya. i trust your journey went smoothly? thank you for your patience, maiden. i apologize for not going to your temple in person, i hope your priest will forgive me. believe me, i wanted to, but i'm afraid my illness would not have allowed me to make the trip."
the boy's voice was unlike any other you had ever heard, fluid and gentle, causing a wave of reassurance to wash over you. you felt at ease immediately, as though something had just taken every burden off your shoulders and instead shrouded you in a cloud of repose.
"it was no trouble, oyakata-sama, truly." you followed this with a deep incline of your head, your own voice remaining serene and mellow, "it is an honor to be in your presence."
kagaya smiled. "your temple is of great renown. my clan has had the pleasure of counting with your priests and maidens across the centuries. there is no need for such formalities, child."
granted, you were sure you were older than him by a few years, but the way he called you 'child' was comforting, and you were not about to question him, simply keeping quiet.
"you are to marry one of my pillars, maiden. he is an honorable man, the lord of stone, i am sure the two of you will get along. he should arrive any moment now."
you willed yourself to say something, yet you simply could not. you were not the first maiden who was given to a lord for marriage, and you certainly wouldn't be the last. still, your heart did a flip at the simple notion of ending up in a similar situation as your mother, forced to produce offspring until your husband found you undesirable.
for a moment, a cold hand wrapped around your heart in fear of what that man would do with you. however, the single thought of the young boy before you lying about the pillar's honor revolted you. he was telling the truth, and if he said the stone pillar was a good man, then you had nothing to fear.
softly, the sound of footsteps reached your ears, and you turned slightly to see a towering figure approaching, his presence both imposing and serene all at once.
the man who stood before you was unlike any you had ever seen. large beyond comparison, clad in the dark robes of a uniform and a green haori. his stature was immense, with muscles that seemed chiseled from stone. he was young, with an impassive face, yet undeniably handsome. his eyes, clouded with a milky whiteness, told you that he could not see, yet he moved with a grace that belied his blindness.
"this is himejima gyomei, the stone pillar," kagaya introduced, "he has been chosen as your betrothed, and i trust that you will find solace and strength in his presence."
gyomei walked toward you, his movements slow and deliberate, his footsteps echoing throughout the garden—
your breath hitched as he knelt before you, reaching his hand out. but instead of what you expected, he pressed his palm against your cheek, his voice reverberating like a chiming bell inside a cathedral. he caressed your cheek as one would treat an injured butterfly.
"maiden beloved," he murmured, tears spilling from his eyes, "i apologize for making you wait."
the ceremony was that same day, quick and endearing.
you were married in front of oyakata-sama, his wife, and other members of the corps as witnesses. before you knew it, the wedding concluded, and your husband guided you to your new home with you by his side.
gyomei was not acting like he had been given you as some justly won right to do with as he pleased. that set your heart at ease, greatly so, and in some way, it was like he could tell, too. he was walking slowly, allowing you to keep up with his large strides. small talk filled the empty silence of the way home as he listed all the things you would assist him with.
you were to cook for him, clean the estate daily and take care of it when he was away, write letters for him and read them when he received any, and...
huh. that was it.
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getting used to your routine was easier than anticipated as weeks passed, although you would be lying to yourself if you said that gyomei's patience and demeanor weren't helping you in the slightest.
he had insisted that you sleep in a separate bedroom within the estate, taking into account that despite being your husband, he was still a complete stranger to you. the very moment you reached your new home, he made sure to explicitly tell you that he did not wish to embarrass you or cause you discomfort in any way, shape, or form.
during mornings, you would naturally wake up at the crack of dawn, your training making things much easier. you would dress yourself in the robes gyomei had gifted you for your wedding and make your way to the kitchen to start a big meal for the day. you'd wake him up then, guiding him to the kitchen to share breakfast together.
most of the time, you ate in silence, although you did not mind at all. after that, you would wash dishes, and he trained. the estate was not that big, so having to sweep the floor or dust the shelves daily did not bother you, and you instead found comfort in the repetitive routine. you would finish quite swiftly and urge gyomei inside again for tea time during noon.
you tried to entertain yourself as best as possible during the afternoons and evenings. usually, you would find yourself tending to a small garden you'd created when you arrived. your husband would sometimes join you, captivated by the sweet smell of the flowers and the sensation of the earth beneath his fingertips. you would explain what the flowers looked like and how they were meant to be taken care of, and he, in turn, basked in your every word.
gardening duty was one of the things you enjoyed most back at the temple, and since no one else was willing to get their hands dirty, you were the maiden who would regularly take care of the flowers.
you bought flower seeds during your first trip to the market in the nearby town and took the time to introduce yourself to as many people as possible. the locals were very kind to you, and as you started frequenting the shops more and more, you were always being greeted by folks who wished you and your husband the best.
as months passed, your relationship with gyomei deepened in ways you had never expected. the initial tension and clumsiness of living with a stranger began to fade, replaced by a growing sense of familiarity and comfort.
gyomei, true to his word, respected your boundaries and gave you space to adjust at your own pace. however, small gestures of care and affection started to seep into your daily life. he would often leave freshly picked flowers from your garden by your bedroom door, their vibrant colors and sweet fragrance greeting you first thing in the morning. sometimes, he would assist you with household chores, his presence making the mundane tasks feel lighter and more enjoyable.
he began to pay attention to the little things, like how you offered wounded slayers who stumbled upon the estate a fresh meal and a place to redress their wounds, or how you fed the cats mingling around your shared home every single night, even noticing that you had taken the time to name them and remember everyone.
the town's people, too, played a part in your growing closeness. they would often remark on how harmonious you and gyomei seemed together, their kind words fortifying the bind that tied you together. you started to see the way gyomei interacted with them and how much respect the people had for him—and you couldn't help but admire him more each day.
your conversations, though initially skimpy and shallow, began to flow more naturally. gyomei's deep voice would rumble through stories of his past with the children of the orphanage, his experiences as a hashira, and the lessons he had learned along the way. you, in turn, shared snippets of your life at the temple, your family, your dreams, and your fears. it was through these conversations that you realized how much you had in common despite your different backgrounds.
anyone with a pair of working eyes would see it, or, at least, anyone who had known for at least once in their lifetime what a soul-stirring connection with another human felt like. you found comfort in his presence, seeking him out like a moth to a flame, and he, in yours, only wanted you to tend to his wounds after missions, fix his haori, or wait by himself outside just so he could pray by your side.
eventually, it got to a point where the separate bedrooms became less of a necessity and more of a formality. you often found yourself falling asleep together in the living room after long conversations or shared moments of silence. whenever you did manage to part ways, you always lingered by your door, a dreamy smile encasing your lips.
you could not deny yourself anymore. you were the happiest you had been in years.
one evening, as you both sat for dinner, the familiar quiet enveloping you like a warm blanket, gyomei's voice broke through the tranquility.
"i love you."
the bunch of food you were going to bring into your mouth splattered into the bowl again with a messy splash. oh. oh my god. you whipped your head toward your husband, who stared at you with a soft expression on his face.
"you do not have to say it back if you do not feel the same, but i wanted you to know." then, gyomei went back to chewing his food as if he had not said what he had just said.
"why?"
gyomei shifted his head in your direction with a worried expression, your teary tone and doddering heartbeat doing nothing to mitigate his apprehension. he tried to reach for you, but you jerked away from him. he could tell that whatever you were feeling was not directed toward him, but still, it pained him greatly to know you were suffering.
"g-gyomei, i—"
your hands were shaking, and he reached for them to trace your skin with the pads of his thumbs. he opened his mouth, but you beat him to it as you keeled over, shoulders trembling as sobs left your mouth, your usual calmness thrown out the window.
"y-you said that you wouldn't embarrass me! there is nothing special about me. what is it about me that you could possibly love? you're always so good to me," you were throwing word vomit at this point, and the worst part was you did not even know where it was coming from, "i haven't done anything to receive your affection! i'm just doing the things i'm supposed to do..."
tears slid down his cheeks before he could stop them, and he leaned forward to pull you into his embrace. your body completely froze, an unknown emotion taking over. gyomei had never initiated contact before. most of the time, you had to be the one to grab his hand or tug his collar.
"my little maiden... you have no idea how precious you are to me," gyomei murmured, his voice impossibly gentle and firm. he held you close, his large, comforting presence grounding you as your sobs began to subside. "you see yourself through the harsh lens of your own eyes, but i see the truth of your heart with my own. your unconditional kindness, your strength, your sincerity—these are just some of the reasons i love you."
his words seeped into your cold heart, slowly quieting the tempest inside. you couldn't understand how someone as incredible, kind, and powerful as gyomei could see such worth in you, but the sincerity in his voice and the warmth of his embrace made you want to believe him.
"you don't have to prove your worth to me or anyone," he continued, his voice alleviating your wounded spirit. "you are enough, just as you are. your presence in my life is a blessing, and i am grateful for you every single day."
"gyomei," you whispered, your voice trembling but no longer with fear. "i… i love you too. i was just scared. scared that i wasn't enough for you."
he smiled softly, wiping away your tears with his thumbs. "you are more than enough, my love. and i will spend the rest of all my lifetimes showing you just how much you mean to me."
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Š midnightbears on tumblr, july 2024. please do not repost to another platform, plagiarize, translate, use for AI-related purposes or claim as your own.
558 notes ¡ View notes
sourrpatched ¡ 1 year ago
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PAIRING ⇝ NA JAEMIN X FEM!READER
“Say you can't sleep, baby, I know That's that me, espresso”
GENRE ⇝ Comedy, Fluff, coffee shop au, college au, strangers to lovers, slight angst (maybe)
EXTRAS ⇝ profanity (lots of it actually), sexual jokes, kys/kms jokes, lgbt jokes (yes im lgbt), jaemin is down BAD, maybe a bit unrealistic but this is just for fun, my first ever smau ever please bare with me, crack writing lowkey, ignore time stamps they’re probably super off cause i cba to make them specific
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SUMMARY ⇝
Overworked at her understaffed job Y/N finds it hard to enjoy this summer vacation even with the school semester having ended. It doesn’t help that it seems nobody is interested in working at a little coffee shop even if it’s just for the summer. That is until fate brings Jaemin into the picture who happens to be desperate for a job and love. Let’s just hope this time around he can actually keep it.
or, the one where jaemin needs a damn job and Y/N needs a damn break.
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STATUS ⇝ COMPLETE ✅
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profiles - intro yn & friends intro jaemin & friends
PT. 0.5 - (1) (2)
01. ➼ You Will Die in 6 Hours
02. ➼ Mischief, Inadequacy, and Despicable Me? (.3k wrdc)
03. ➼ Who hired this guy?
04. ➼ Jumping to conclusions
05. ➼ Suicide POSTPONED
06. ➼ 2 dumb b*tches saying EXACTLY (1.1k wrdc)
07. ➼ This is really weird :/
08. ➼ ipad kid
09. ➼ u are NOT my mom
10. ➼ baby that’s keke palmer
11. ➼ instigator vibes
12. ➼ netflix and chill?
13. ➼ big time betrayals
14. ➼ mark’s villain origin story (.5k wrdc)
15. ➼ motherly instincts
16. ➼ fork found in kitchen
17. ➼ re-do
18. ➼ satan’s beverage
19. ➼ (not so) 21 Questions
20. ➼ Trust
21. ➼ playing cupid
22. ➼ u discuss me
23. ➼ haikyuu irl
24. ➼ brat summer (.9k wrdc)
25. ➼ gone girl
26. ➼ girl, so trackstar
27. ➼ i’m not the moon (1.1k wrdc)
28. ➼ *gulps*
29. ➼ ur honor im a freak
30. ➼ tough luck buddy
31. ➼ negative aura
32. ➼ fallin for ya
33. ➼ for better or for worse (1.8k wrdc)
34. ➼ therapy sesh
35. ➼ i miss u
36. ➼ Cold heart
37. ➼ Old friend
38. ➼ Long Chat (1.7k wrdc)
39. ➼ Love Scene
40. ➼ Hardest soft launch ever
Halloween Special 😈
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
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TAG LIST ⇝ closed!!
1K notes ¡ View notes
spencerreidenjoyer ¡ 11 months ago
Note
smut where spencer gets the boyband haircut and reader gets VERY excited by it? love your work!! ❤️❤️
a change of pace | spencer reid x reader
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wc: 765, rating: explicit/18+
tags/warnings: mention of spencer getting shot in the leg, vague descriptions of cunnilingus and vaginal sex, making out
a/n: thank you anon for requesting this!! u r too sweet. i am sorry for not writing too too much smut but i thought this idea was cute and couldn't help but write something quickly for it! please send me more requests as i would love to write more short and sweet ficlets like this!!
“Oh my God,” you say, when Spencer walks through the door.
He reaches for his hair, running his hand through it. “Is it that bad?”
“What? No, it’s not bad at all,” you stand up, meeting Spencer halfway as he walks over to you. You look up at him, running your own hand through his hair. It’s soft and fluffy after returning from the hairdresser, but inches shorter than it had been when he’d left home.
You liked his long hair, enjoyed combing your fingers through it while he laid his head in your lap, or in other less… innocent scenarios. He hadn't bothered to cut it after he’d gotten shot in the leg, a little too preoccupied with recovery to worry about the length of his hair. Lately, Spencer had been whining about his hair getting in the way when he was at work, or even making at-home tasks troublesome.
When you suggested he get a haircut, he was even worried as he asked, “But you like my hair long, no?” – as if your preference over the length of his hair would override his comfort. You’d booked him an appointment at the hairdresser instead, and Spencer had kissed you so sweetly it made you feel like your teeth would rot.
“What are you thinking about?” Spencer asks, quickly snapping you back to reality. You’re still mindlessly running your fingers through his hair, and Spencer had fully let you, without stopping you, for what must have been minutes.
“Sorry,” you say quickly, stepping back, but Spencer’s hands are on your waist, and he doesn’t let you get away that easily. He gives you a look, and you can’t help but say, “Was thinking about your long hair.”
“You miss it? I know I shouldn’t have gotten it cut, darling–” Spencer starts, but you stop him.
“No! No, I love this look on you,” you state firmly. “It makes you look extra boyish. Handsome.”
“I wasn’t handsome before?” Spencer teases you with a lilt in his voice. “Also, I don’t know if I should take boyish as a compliment here.”
“Don’t put words in my mouth, Spence,” you say, rolling your eyes. “What I was saying is, I might need some time to get used to this haircut.”
You’re completely lying. This haircut is so attractive on him, emphasising his sharp features, making it painfully obvious just how handsome he is. He looks like a different man, so chic and suave with the shorter haircut, but it’s still your Spencer, and that makes you feel a little crazy. You want to jump his bones.
Spencer tilts his head curiously. “How so?”
“You know, your long hair was really convenient for when we… y’know,” you hum, your hands coming around to cup his face. You think your voice sounds a little more… sultry.
Spencer cocks his brow. “I think you need to be more specific, love.”
You huff, “Your hair was particularly helpful when your head is between my thighs, Spence.”
Spencer smiles, thoroughly smug. “Well, I don’t think my… capabilities are diminished with my shorter hair.”
“I think we should test that theory out,” you say, looking up at him. “Don’t you think so?”
“We should,” Spencer nods, and you quickly lean forward to kiss him. He pulls you closer by your waist, your hands sliding down to his chest. The both of you fumble your way to the couch, Spencer caging you in as he gets on top of you.
He kisses you wildly, and all you can do is put your hands in his hair and kiss him, let him ravish you just like this. You moan, as his hands slide down your body, touching you all over – your tits, your waist, your thighs, down to your ass, his hands groping at you needily, eagerly.
When he gets his head between your thighs, you find that his hair is perfectly serviceable as a grip to rut against Spencer’s skillful tongue, Spencer only pulling you closer to get you off. You’re more turned on than usual, wetter as he fucks you on his fingers, thighs clamping around his head as you shake with your orgasm, riding out your high for longer.
Spencer, perceptive as he is, absolutely notices it. Wiping your release from his hand and face with a tissue, he quips, “I assume you like the haircut then?”
You grin lazily at Spencer. “Very much so.”
He leans in to kiss you and easily presses his cock into you. It doesn’t take long for you to orgasm again, and for him to follow suit.
695 notes ¡ View notes
aventurineswife ¡ 5 months ago
Note
Hi...
I know you have multiple asks and all but I just wanna hear what Dan heng, Dr Ratio, Aventurine, and any other hsr boi who's good at comforting cuz my brain is so fried after tackling an exam
Maybe a voiceline thing (it can be small if u want)? I just wanna hear comforting things they say fr a s/o who's tired after an exam for tonight =and still has more work and their body aches? I'm so self inserting TTATT) ..
If u don't want ppl exploiting this method (cuz I feel bad doing this but I can't help), don't answer this ask but just make the post pls? I could use the words right about now (u write them so accurately as well)
-🍮
“You’ve Done Enough for Today”
Tags: Dan Heng x Reader, Sunday x Reader, Ratio x Reader, Aventurine x Reader, Voicelines, Comfort, Fluff, Established Relationship, Romantic Undertones, Protective & Caring Characters, Gentle Reassurance.
Warnings: Mentions of Stress & Exhaustion, Mild Academic Burnout Themes, Slight Touch of Guilt (if overworking is a concern), Aventurine's Voiceline Has a Slight Playful/Mischievous Tone.
A/N: So sorry to hear that! 🫂💖I hope this cheers you up, just know you're enough!! (For others, please do not exploit this idea, as my works are already scheduled for a specific time, and I cannot keep adjusting them.) Thank you, I try my best to write them as accurately as possible 🫶💖
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You’ve done well to get through today. Rest your eyes for a moment—I'll stay here with you. Pushing yourself beyond your limit will only slow you down later. Let me handle things while you regain your strength.
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Even the brightest stars need time to rest. Your exhaustion is not a weakness, love—it is proof that you are striving for something meaningful. Let me hold you for a while, if only to remind you that you are not alone in this.
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Overexertion dulls the mind, and that would be a shame, considering yours. Come, lie down—I’ll read to you. A brilliant mind deserves respite, not just endless strain.
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Exams, deadlines, stress… a cruel little game, isn’t it? But even the best gamblers know when to step away from the table. So, let’s make a deal—you take a break, and I’ll personally make sure nothing falls apart while you do. Sound fair?
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285 notes ¡ View notes
chuuyasheaven ¡ 2 years ago
Note
bsd men as tits ass or thighs pls :3?? (specifically meursault boys)
“Tits, Ass or Thighs— What do they prefer?”
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“—Everybody’s got certain preferences, don’t they? So, what are theirs?”
Tags: Dazai Osamu, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Nikolai Gogol, Chuuya Nakahara, Sigma / afab! Reader, Nipple play?, ooc! Sigma, praising kink, degrading kink, overstimulation, pet names?, hdc format ig, thigh riding?, hickeys, mentioned lingerie?, spanking, mild brat taming, atp everyone may be ooc, face sitting, oral sex (afab! and m! recieving), titty job, messes of their milk, might contain grammar errors, this is a lot holy shit, etc.
Notes: Maybe u just meant Dazai, Fyodor and Chuuya but I added Nikolai and Sigma for funsies— hope this is okay tho!! And I never wrote for Sigma before so sorry if he’s so ooc. . Maybe he’s gonna be added to my list lol.
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Dazai Osamu ;
💙 Thighs 💙
💙 I just know that he loves your thighs!! In my opinion, DAZAI lives for seeing you in thigh highs, especially if you have thick thighs. What do you mean you don’t wanna crush him with them??? What else are they made for then— oh, right, hickeys. It’s obvious that he’ll leave some marks here and there for fun, but another thing he lives about them is face sitting. This is literally the best way to die?!!? But also he lives to grab your thighs when he eats you out!!!
💙 Scenario;
He’s been at it for too long, you don’t even remember how many times you came already. . “Dazai, p–please. . S–sensitive!”, you tried to beg, but Dazai was way into this— Once you sit on this mans face, he won’t let go until your too sensitive, Dazai also always leave hickeys while he’s at it. Chanting how he would love to die this way, being crushed by your massive thighs. “—Why should I? You’re still talking properly, I won’t stop until you’re only able to moan my name. Now be a good girl, alright, ‘donna?”
Fyodor Dostoevsky ;
💙 Thighs 💙
💙 In all honesty, this man is a mystery for me– but if I would have to chose, thighs. FYODOR is kinda religious and stuff, meaning he’s definitely gonna be kinda traditional. (i do not know wtf I’m talking abt.) Fyodor doesn’t know what it is, but something about you in white lingerie and white thigh highs sets him off completely. Looking all innocent but being the complete opposite? Yes, absolute approval from him. But being the busy man he is, he’ll let you sit on his lap while he caresses your thighs!! :3
💙 Scenario ;
Seriously, how desperate are you? Walking up to Fyodor in white lingerie and white thigh highs while he’s obviously working? He finds it quite amusing how you think he’ll stop immediately to fuck you, no he won’t, yet. Fyodor just commands you to sit on his lap, now you’re getting off on his own thighs. But you’re still wearing panties, though he doesn’t care, you wanted this, didn’t you? As you keep grinding against it, he slapped your pussy through the fabric multiple times before. The small whines and whimpers are cute, but won’t change his mind to take you right now. “—I don’t really know what you expected me to do. . Well, actually, i did. It’s quite adorable how you think just because you’re desperate I’ll feed into your desires. Anyway, you seem to be getting off pretty easily, slut.”
Nikolai Gogol ;
💙 Tits 💙
Come on, this is so NIKOLAI, seriously. He's so silly, he would literally call them his personal stressballs. (Do not even try to deny it, it's canon.) Nonetheless, he likes to cum on them, Nikolai will make a mess out of them every time whenever you're giving him head. Another thing their useful for, in his opinion, is tit fucking!! It's a nice feeling for him when his dick's inside of your tits. Not to forget, your nipples are pretty fun to play with, but there's one last thing about them. .
💙 Scenario ;
There are many reasons why Nikolai adores you riding him! He loves how he barely has to do anything, hearing the adorable sounds leaving your mouth while you get off on his cock and most importantly, the way your tits bounce with you. All he's doing is laying back and enjoying the view of your tits almost bouncing out of your bra, he would love if they were to actually jump out. “—Hm, would you look at that! Your tits are seconds away to spill out of your bra, dove. I wouldn't mind if they did, maybe you just need to ride my dick faster. . Just like the needy whore you are.”
Sigma ;
💙 Tits 💙
I’m not really sure if it’s accurate, but running an casino ain’t easy. So what’s better than having you and your comfort. .—able tits? SIGMA would never admit it, but he loves them, dearly at that. If he ever needs an break, his head would probably rest on them. On the spicy side, he loves a good tit job. You mentioned this once and Sigma wasn’t against it, sure he was blushing over your suggestion but after he tried it, he loved it!!!
💙 Scenario ;
It felt good, really, Sigma loved your suggestion! He never thought of something like this, he never thought about recieving a tit job, but it felt heavenly. Just the way your tits were rubbing against his cock so good, it felt unreal. . The most beautiful whimpers left his lips, with his flushed expression on his face too, you assumed Sigma was enjoying himself, very. Soon he reached his climax, letting his cum leak on your tits. “—F–fuck. . You did s–so good, darling. Now, lay back and let me return the favor, yeah?”
Chuuya Nakahara ;
💙 Ass 💙
Ah, yes. CHUUYA is, in my opinion, an ass man. I saw a few people say that, and I agree. Like, he’s literally proud of that. He would slap your ass unexpected, respectfully though. He wouldn’t care if you’re carrying a bakery or not, he still slapping it!! Chuuya loves to spend money on matching bras and panties for you, but on your in general. Sometimes it gets to your head or something and you start to act out, which our ginger won’t let slide.
💙 Scenario ;
Lately, you’ve gotten on Chuuya’s nerves. Yeah, he loves to spend money on you and you, but he won’t stand you being bratty. As to right now, he’s ‘punishing’ you for it. The reference for ‘punishing’ is quite just fucking you until it’s stuck in your pretty little brain not to act out again. This time though, Chuuya added something to your punishment. . “Ch–chuuya. . ‘m sorry, I–i didn’t mean to—”, you tried to apologize, only to be silenced by another spank. “—Really? Too bad, you’re gonna take this if you want me to fuck you, baby. Just keep on taking f’me and I’ll fuck you soon enough, m‘kay?”
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OH EM GEE YOU GUYS IT TOOK ME THREE DAYS TO FINISH
2K notes ¡ View notes
h4m1lt0ns ¡ 2 years ago
Text
HEARTBREAK SYNDROME.
episode ten :: MADNESS, BADNESS.
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ pairing ︴lewis hamilton x y/n
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ genre ︴social media au / irl snippets
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ summary ﹔lewis + y/n = combination
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ face claim ﹔ wonyoung jang (28)
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ warnings ﹕ excessive cussing, none.
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☆ IMESSAGE with : LEW <3
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y/n: lew are u awake
lew <3: yeah i’m up
y/n: wait did i wake u up
lew <3: no no dw i couldn’t sleep
lew <3: why are you up tho doll?
lew <3: it’s almost two in the morning
y/n: i couldn’t sleep either <3
y/n: remember the demo lyrics i showed you like three days ago??
lew <3: the one you began writing on the boat?
y/n: yeahhhh that one
lew <3: yeah ofc
y/n: can u help me finish it?
y/n: if you’re not busy ofc
lew <3: never too busy for you doll
lew <3: plus i’m not really doing anything rn
y/n:
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lew <3: you and those memes lmfao
lew <3: how can i help you doll
y/n: oh
y/n: i was actually hoping you’d come over
y/n: i’m just chilling in my home studio
lew <3: studio you said???
lew <3: you don’t even have to ask twice
lew <3: putting on my shoes
y/n: omg oh my god okay omg
y/n: y/n x xnda????
lew <3: whewwwwwww 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨
lew <3: let me cook alright
y/n: get in there lewis
lew <3: omw !!!
y/n: pls bring roscoe
lew <3: dw i will
lew <3: i said your name once and he immediately woke up
y/n: 😭😭
y/n: i miss him sm
lew <3: on our way doll :)))
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y/n
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♡ liked by lewishamilton, yukitsunoda0511 and 7,204,108 others.
y/n it’s just me and you
tagged: roscoelovescoco, lewishamitlon
592,495 comments.
username Y/N’S IN THE STUDIO ALERT 🚨
username BITCH IS THAT ROSCOE???!?!?????!?!?
→ username IT IS SHE TAGGED THE ACCOUNT
→ username ROSCOE MUSICAL DEBUT???
→ username producer tag is woof woof
username y/n???? and lewis??? in the studio???? i’m excited????
username YESSSS NEW MUSIC SOON PLS 🔥🔥🔥
username LET HER COOK LET HER COOK 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
username YES GOD PLS
username Y/N AND XNDA????
→ roscoelovescoco y/ns ands roscoe
→ username HOE YOU AINT SLICK
→ username LEWIS DROP THE SONG IMMEDIATELY
→ username OKAY SO THIS JUST CONFIRMED IT
→ username WORLDS COLLIDING????
→ username IM SOOOOOO NORMAL ABT THIS
username LEWIS AND Y/N IN THE STUDIO????
→ username i personally, am frothing at the mouth.
→ username real
carlossainz55 babysitting duty?
→ y/n third wheeling duty actually
→ lewishamilton i was the third wheel 🙋🏾
→ username OHMYGODOHMYGOD
→ username Y/N X XNDA WHEN
[liked by lewishamilton]
username OMFGGGGGGG
roscoelovescoco i’s missed yous y/ns 🐾
→ username i once again say, hoe you ain’t slick 🤨
username there’s so much going on i don’t know where to look.
username LEWIS WAS THEREEEEEEE
username BRO IM BOUT TO EXPLODE
y/l/nestate glad you’re in the studio but please get some sleep 🎀
jensonbutton another banger album coming?
→ y/n maybe 🤭
→ username HUHHHHHH
username FATHER JENSON
→ username ANOTHER ALBUM????
→ username MA’AM YOU CANT JUST SAY THAT AND DIP
→ username Y/N COME BACK 🔪
→ username AYEEEEYOOOOOO
→ username SCREAMINGGGG
→ username BWOAHHHHHH
→ username Y/N I SWEARRRRRR
☆ IMESSAGE with : BOARD OF DIRECTORS.
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princess george: so y/n
y/n: jesus christ
princess george: wrong
honey badger: lmfao
y/n: oh this feels like a threat
yukino: it is 🔪🔪🔪
PIERRE GASLYYYY: ^^^
y/n: OH???????
princess george: you and lewis huh 😏
y/n: don’t ever use that emoji ever again omfg
my baby lando: look at her trying to dodge the topic
babygirl alex: no bc literally
chili!: what were you doing in the studio w a boy in the middle of the night young lady 🤨
y/n: papa????
chal eclair: answer the question bae ❤️🔪
wifey lily: yet another man trying to steal my wife i see
angel carmen: no bc has he no self respect? frolicking with a married woman?
girlfriend kika: my wife specifically??
y/n: oh my god 🤭 babe i’m blushing
alabono: bro answer the question
y/n: 🙄🙄🙄🙄
y/n: he helped me with a demo i’m working on
y/n: we wrote a song together is all
yukino: a part of me wants to believe you but the other says you’re hiding shit 🧐
y/n: omfg yuki how dare you
chal eclair: oh so you just hung out?
y/n: yeah man
PIERRE GASLYYYY: “yeah man” right.
PIERRE GASLYYYY: you liar
PIERRE GASLYYYY: roscoe was still at your house this morning when kika facetimed you so lewis is also probably still there
yukino: SO YOU ARE HIDING SHIT???
y/n: wAIT
babygirl alex: LIARRRRRRRR
angel carmen: HOW COULD YOU
y/n: HOLD AWNNNNNN
honey badger: CAN WE EVEN TRUST YOU MATE
chili!: ^^^^^^^
y/n: OKAY
y/n: LISTEN
my baby lando: 👂🏼👂🏼👂🏼👂🏼👂🏼
y/n: roscoe is at my house bc i’m babysitting him today, lew is busy and i’m keeping an eye on him while in the studio
chal eclair: LEW?????
chal eclair: HE HAS A NICKNAME NOW??
chal eclair: I WAITED TWO YEARS TO GET A NICKNAME AND HE GETS ONE EASILY?
chal eclair: THE BEST I GET OUT OF YOU IS SHAL LEGLEG AND HE GETS A CUTE “LEW”?
chal eclair: no.
chal eclair: tell him to pull up
babygirl alex: relax u can’t hurt a fly even if you wanted
yukino: it’s okay charles i’ll hurt him for you
y/n: neither of you is hurting anyone
my baby lando: i smell a potential father figure
y/n: omg shut up
honey badger: she says as she giggles and kicks her feet
y/n: STOPPP
wifey lily: OH SO YOU ARE GIGGLING KICKING YOUR FEET
yukino: down MISERABLE
y/n: NO IM NOT
princess george: what did he do that has you kicking your feet 🤨
chili!: ^^^^^^
babygirl alex: ^^^^^
yukino: ^^^^^^^
honey badger: ^^^^^
y/n: we didn’t do anything oh my god
alabono: we didn’t ask if YALL did something
alabono: we asked what did HE do
alabono: exposed ur self dummy
wifey lily: i’m so proud of you for clocking that babe
alabono: 😌
my baby lando: WAIT
honey badger: YOU TWOOOO DID SOMETHING
yukino: y/n, spill or i crash into lewis next race
y/n: listen. good fucking god.
y/n: i’m literally powering off my phone after this.
y/n: we kissed in the recording both
my baby lando: HUHHHLDOWIFIW
wifey lily: WHATTTTTDOYOUMEANKISSED
chili!: KISSED??? LIKE MWAH MWAH
alabono: MWAH MWAH IS KILLING MEEEE
PIERRE GASLYYYY: Y/N ANSWER THE PHONE
babygirl alex: THEY KISSEDDDDKDOSK
girlfriend kika: LOOOOOOSING IN MY MIND
honey badger: BITCH COME BACK HERE
angel carmen: MY KNEES ARE WEAK WDYM KISS
princess george: YOU DID WHAT WHERE
chal eclair: HE STILL GOT A NICE ENOUGH NICKNAME BEFORE ME MATE.
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y/n added to their story!
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☆ IMESSAGE with : LEW <3
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lew <3: today was as long as a mf
lew <3: i got home and wondered why i couldn’t hear any barking
lew <3: forgot my boy was with u lol
y/n: oh fuck u seem rly rly tired
y/n: it’s okay i’ll drop him off dw
y/n: lol at least one of us got work done
lew <3: was ur day not good?
lew <3: what happened doll
y/n: roscoe is soooo fucking adorable :(
y/n: i literally couldn’t pay attention to anything that wasn’t him
y/n: he’s so so so cute it’s was so distracting 🥹 and the problem was that i had him on my lap the entire morning and when i stopped cuddling him he started whining and crying n i felt like a monster
lew <3: awww
lew <3: ur so cute
lew <3: i feel terrible knowing i can’t take him everywhere with me
y/n: he’s so babie i love him soooo much
lew <3: more than me?
y/n: yes obv 🙄 know ur place
lew <3: lmfaoooo
lew <3: come over already doll
y/n: aw man ur taking roscoe away from me :’(
lew <3: i miss my son
lew <3: and i miss my doll too
y/n: making me blush lew
lew <3: if not me then who will
lew <3: btw ur staying for dinner
lew <3: u don’t have a say in this :)
y/n: yes sir!!
lew <3: oh?
lew <3: sir huh?
y/n: 🫢🤭
lew <3: come over.
y/n: omwwww
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lewishamilton added to their story!
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2K notes ¡ View notes
valentine-cafe ¡ 5 months ago
Note
R u requests still on? If so- Can I please request a rich male yandere(ur choice:)) W an innocent reader who’s js way to spoiled with daddy and mommy’s money? (Nsfw please?) (ps I love ur fanfics- i always re-read like 3-4 of ur fanfics daily🤭🎀
˖⁺. “ spoilt brat ” : 
﹙ male yandere x spoilt gn reader ﹚.𖹭 ݁
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. . . verse 209 jìngyí x gn reader !! 🍓 : ﹙ mad doctor ˖ snake monster ˖ yandere ˖ villain character ﹚
you've been waayyy to spoilt with mommy and daddy's money. what happens when you're in a relationship with a rich yandere?
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﹙ cws ﹚: explicit content ˖ brat taming ˖ fingering ˖ thigh grinding ˖ dom/sub dynamics | wc : 0.8k 
﹙ receipts ﹚: this was such a fun request ough kissing your brain. also you reread our work ?? oomggggg giving you lots of love thank you for the support!
꒰  other treats : guidelines ˖ m.list ˖ characters ˖ our lore  ꒱
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Now, he has dealings with a spoilt lover, take his husband for example. You however - were on another level when it came to just how spoilt rotten you were. Jìngyí came from a wealthy family. He’d assumed there wouldn’t be much change. . . you were something else.
For the most part he finds you amusing. When you huff at him for not getting something you want. Or poke and plead when he won’t give it to you anyway. There is one thing you will learn over time — he’s immune to your whining and huffiness. He’s always loved a brat — if anything, you are merely indulging him.
But that’s not the only thing. Your poor little self is innocent on top of everything too. What a wonderful thing to dangle over your head and whip you back into place with. Jìngyí’s eyes practically shine whenever he’s yanking you over his knee and tearing your bottoms down with that deep, crooning voice of yours questioning - “Oh, does my darling want attention? Is that why you are acting out? Poor, poor sweetheart.”
Jìngyí will never give you what you want. Especially when you’re clinging onto his clothes and jerking his office chair with your needy little bounces on his cock. He’ll simply continue his paperwork as you cry into his ear all needy. Only good darlings get what they want.
He’s definitely not making your spoilt nature any better. Why should he? He loves his sweet brat. So he’ll spoil you just as much, with clothes and trinkets and all of your heart’s desires. All so that he can have you down on your knees and choking on his dick with your pretty, teary eyes. All so he can cream your throat and watch your splutter. Grip your jaw when you inevitably waste. “Come now. Is that how you repay me, sweetheart? Tsk tsk, try again.”
Adores whenever you start acting out to him specifically. He’ll let you continue on your tantrum with attitude. Snaps and eyerolls until at last his own golden gaze cuts down to you. Slitted pupils constrict and eyelids hang half-lidded. An arch of his brow, a tilt of his head. “Watch it.” It’s small, low, before he’s turning back to his work and enjoying the silence that washes over the room.
He’s the kind of lover that will let you get away with murder. Once, twice, a few dozen times. Lets it pile on your name so that he can fling you onto bed and pound your bratty little hole until you’re hiccupping and stuttering apologies. With your pathetic teary eyes and quivering hips stained in his spanks.
“What’s that, my dear? Sorry? Mhhm? Oh I know. I knnoowww sweet thing. Now said it again. Ah-ah - now louder.”
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﹙ taglist. ﹚: | get tagged for specific posts
﹙ tip jar. ﹚: like our work? consider suporting us 𖹭 
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marshmellohi ¡ 11 months ago
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Links Meet AUs List
A lot of AUs get lumped together with Linked Universe, so I wanted to make a list comprising any and all original Links Meet AUs I could find! Please let me know if I’m missing something, you want your AU to be removed, a link is broken, or if you know an AU’s status so it can be moved to the correct dedicated category.
DISCLAIMER: Please pay attention to the content warnings on some of these AUs! I haven’t personally read every AU so I don’t know what some contain, but if an AU has something you don’t vibe with, there are more than plenty of others that you will love on this list! Please be respectful and kind to everyone! This list is both for archival purposes and to appreciate the creativity of the community!
Additional Notes: Some AUs have dedicated Tumblrs, some can be found through original tags, some are only on ff.net or ao3, etc. I have a separate list for AUs limited to Discord/DMs that I have not included here unless I receive permission to do so! Also, if something is separated by ||, that means that theyre 2(+) separate AUs by the same creator in the same tumblr… if that makes sense LOL. This list is Always Updating so be sure to keep an eye out for any new AUs!
PUBLIC
• A Link to the Present
• Across the Galaxy
• Ageless Soul
• Bonus Links
• Branching Timelines
• Chain as Cryptids
• Chained Spirits
• Chains of Time
• Courage of Ages
• Culture Shock
• Deuy’s Links Meet
• Dimensional Links
• Dreamverse AU || Identity Fraud AU
• Echoes of Courage
• Exodus
• Fallen Heroes
• Garden of Heroes
• GodLinks
• Hearts Linked Together
• Heroes Spirit
• House of Heroes
• Kings Comic
• Limited Hero
• Link and the Links
• Link Between Links
• Link Rejoin
• Linked Across Dimensions
• Linked Arena
• Linked By Illustrations
• Linked Dreamscape
• Linked End
• Linked History
• Linked Keys
• Linked Maze
• Linked Spirit
• Linked Through the Centuries
• Linked Universe
• Linked World
• Link’s Fun Road Trip
• Little Links
• Magic’s Wake
• Meowmix’s Linked-verse Journey
• Minas Linkverse
• Monstrous Fusion
• Names of Courage
• Realms of Hylia
• Recalled
• Rifts in Time
• Sister’s Linked Meets
• Suncaster
• Tangled Chains [Lou]
• Team Timeless
• That Broken Promise
• The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga
• The Links We Share
• The Phantom Timeline
• The Sacred Realm
• Too Many Links [Zee]
• Train Whistles and Wedding Bells
• Unchained AU
• Winter Links AU
PRIVATE
AUs where the info is limited to Discord, DMs, and/or friends. Not typically published/shared publicly. Permission is asked to acknowledge these AUs here before posting.
• A Linked Week
• Fractured Timelines
NON-LINK BUT THEY STILL MEET
Crossovers with Zeldas, Ravios, Ganons… pretty much the exact same thing but with other characters.
• Lots of Ravios
• LU Ravioverse
• Strangers Across Eras
• Voice of Wisdom
• Wielders of Wisdom
LINKMEET LITE
Links meet, but it’s not the focus of the story/in the background (example: a world where all the links exist at the same time but the focus is on one specific character/the others dont come up much)
• Father of Time
• Royal Reads
INACTIVE/DEAD
An AU qualifies for the inactive category when: 1.) its been 2+ years since an update and 2.) it’s unfinished; or, 3.) the creator explicitly stated that they were discontinuing it. LMK if one still has a pulse!
• Into the Zeldaverse
• Link and the Links
• Linked By Time
• Linking Together
• Misfortunate Monsters
• Tangled Chains
• Zelda in the Multiverse
UNSURE/MIA
AUs where I am unsure of the status and thus need to contact the creator, the creator’s deciding where to go with it, or I can’t locate the original page. This is mostly for me- consider this kind of like a ‘to do’ list. Any insight is welcome!
• Bagel’s AU (N/C)
• Birdo’s AU (U)
• Cotty’s Linkverse (N/C)
• Chain Reaction AU (Nuked)
• Factorial’s AU (N/C)
• Fortu’s AU (N/C)
• Hyrule Bound (N/C ; Iirc there was a fanfiction but I can’t find it anywhere)
• Link Madness’ AU (N/C)
• Minty’s Linkverse (U)
• Missing Links in Time (U)
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punkitt-is-here ¡ 2 years ago
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Read These Frequently Asked Questions Before You Send An Ask!
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Patreon | Ko-Fi | Youtube
IF YOU ARE A FUNDRAISER PLEASE BE AWARE I AM ALREADY HELPING WITH CAMPAIGNS AND CANNOT REASONABLY HANDLE ANY MORE. PLEASE DO NOT EXPECT A RESPONSE. MY APOLOGIES!
Heyo! I get a TON of asks each day, so I'm making this post so that folks know what's already been asked so my followers don't have to see the same stuff over and over, haha.
Hi! I'm Punkitt! I'm a game developer, artist, editor, director, and a bunch of other stuff! I'm working on an RPG called Astral Guard, a platformer called Susan Taxpayer, and I have a couple more fun projects in my pocket like Happup and Super Mario Death Row.
Did you know you look like weird al?
YES jesus fucking christ i get told this every day. if u send me a message in my inbox saying i look like weird al im killing you with like wizard spells and shit.
Why do you have so many hats? Do you know you have that many hats?
ye i like hats. :) free tumblr badges for one pea i like one piece and took as many as i could. free.
Where can I find your art/game development/horsecomix?
Great question! Everything I make that's my own and not a reblog is under "my posts", every bit of art I do is under "my art", any game development I do is under "gamedev", you can find all my MLP art under "mlp, my art" or "horsecomix" for the best stuff. I also have an "animations" tag and a "shitposts" tab. I also properly tag all my asks to be asks and write out the asker's name, so if you don't wanna see those just mute the ask tag.
Do you have a Patreon or a Ko-Fi?
I do have a ko-fi here! I also JUST launched a Patreon, which you can find here :)
What do you use for your art?
I use FireAlpaca and Paint.net for misc. effects!
What are you using to make your games?
I use FireAlpaca do make my assets! Astral Guard, Happup, and any other top-down RPG games I make are all made in RPGMaker 2003. Susan Taxpayer is made in SMBX2 Beta 4, a Mario fangame engine with lua support!
Why are you using a 2-decade-plus engine to make games?
It's fun!
Do you have a sideblog or something for your art?
Not right now! What you see is what you get. I do have a sideblog for Astral Guard though, if you want to follow that game specifically! @astral-guard
Can I make an OC based on your work?
ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!! THATS THE COOLEST THING EVER!!!! LET ME KNOW IF YOU DO!!!! I WANNA SEE!!!!
Can I do dubs/redraws of your comics?
As long as you credit me! I get a ton of notifs each day, so if you wanna show me (and PLEASE i so do wanna see fun dubs and redraws!!!) tag me or DM me!
Are you the one who trapped her coworkers in a room and made them listen to TF2 lore?
Can I use your art as a PFP?
Sure! Just credit me somewhere. :D
Yep! Everyone had a blast actually. :]
Did you make that comic where Fluttershy eats the weed brownie/Rainbow Dash has a male living space/someone has a cutie mark that says they'll kill Ronald Reagan?
Yep! That's me.
Where are you in MLP right now?
Currently just finished Season 7! Haven't watched the movie yet.
Have you watched Equestria Girls?
Yep! Thought it was super cute. I watched up to Rainbow Rocks and plan on watching more.
What's your opinion on MLP so far?
I love it! I think it's cute. I really don't agree that there was some sort of huge quality drop after season 2 or whatever.
What do you think of G5?
Not my style! I don't really like either animation types and it just seems like I'm not in the audience anymore. That's totally chill, but it just doesn't grab me!
Have you watched any other MLP stuff from previous generations?
Nope! But I did see a compilation called Minty Being Autistic for Six Minutes Straight that I loved. she's perfect.
Favorite pony?
Don't got one, I love all the Mane Six a LOT, but I'm particularly fond of Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity!
Favorite episode/season?
I'm so bad at picking favorites! But any season past Season 1 I have a blast with because I feel like it's just more my style. I don't have a favorite episode, but the most recent one I can remember LOVING is the one where Starlight bottles up her emotions because it was REALLY funny.
Do you like Pony.mov?
Nope! And stop saying my stuff reminds you of it, it's a lil annoying!
Have you watched the Mentally Advanced Series/Friendship is Witchcraft/Other fandom vids?
Probably not! My interaction with the MLP fandom prior to last year was pretty minimal, so I'm making my way through the show first!
What do you think of Fallout: Equestria?
I think it's super weird but really fun because of that. I've never properly read any of it but it's very fascinating to me.
Are you transgender?
Yep! I go by she/her, I'm a trans woman. Have been for many years, but I only recently came out online!
Are you a lesbian?
Nah, I'm bisexual!
Can I commission you?
Yeah! I only have my commissions available on my Ko-Fi at certain times though, so keep an eye out! I usually announce slots being open at least 12 hours beforehand. Slots are usually first come first serve, but we'll see.
Can I use your art as a Discord emote?
Yeah man i'm not scouring every discord on the planet to find stickers of my work. i think it owns if people take my stuff and make it stupid injoke emotes between friends that makes me very happy.
Can I send you an ask inquiring about gender dysphoria?
I feel like this is beyond my capabilities of advice! I'm actually very comfortable with my body and I have been for many years, so I don't know if I can give any good or helpful advice on that front. Apologies, but there are many resources out there where you can ask about those things if you look for them, like Discord channels!
Favorite Color?
I'm a sucker for blue!
Favorite coffee?
Can't drink coffee, my stomach is cringe.
Favorite tea?
I'm lame and can't drink most tea but I love this one orange-flavored tea a lot. I also LOVE ice tea.
Can I say you're horsegender/punkittgender/a little gender goblin void thing?
Well, I can't stop you, but I'm kind of beyond that phase now! I really am a boring ol' plain she/her girl, and I like it that way. It's not much, but it's honest gender.
What's your favorite game series?
Mother, Kingdom Hearts, Mario, and I USED to say Fallout, but I found out I'm really only a big Fallout New Vegas fan.
Favorite game from those?
Mother 3 is one of my fave games of all time! I love KHII, and I'm tied for SMB3 and SMW. Also Fallout New Vegas fucks hard.
Any other favs?
Bug Fables, SLARPG, and TF2!
Favorite Movie?
Everything Everywhere All At Once, no question.
Oh, are you going to college?
Yep! I'm a film/theater major.
Do you have a YouTube channel?
Yeah! Click right here for it, I stream there and upload footage of my games/animations/my film projects + other stuff.
What is that little orange creature I see?
That's bweenop, my little persona that I use when I'm feeling a little scrunkly.
Do you have a ponysona?
Yep! Her name is Star Magnolia, you can search her on the blog to see art of her.
When will Susan Taxpayer/Astral Guard/etc. be out?
No clue! I take things slow, that's just how I am.
How do you work on so many things at once?
I make small, satisfying amounts of progress! I never try to complete one giant thing all at once, I just like doing small bursts of fun stuff. I got ADHD, so I learn to work with it.
Did you know you look like Weird Al?
Im going to run you over with a clown car watch out
WHY do you work on so many things at once?
Fun! I like learning, I like making cool stuff, and I like showing it to people :)
Do you need any help with your projects?
Potentially! I'll probably put out a post asking for help if I need it.
If you could be a horse, would you?
You kidding me? Several ton beasts with the frailty of a sickly Victorian boy; my clumsy ass would never survive.
Are you some sort of...furry?
yeag
Why do you reblog so much?
Brother I LOVE posting. that's just how it is.
Fav music artists?
It changes literally ALL the time but I will recommend ANYTHING by Vylet Pony, its music is incredible and probably the reason I'm a weird niche microcelebrity now.
Why are you like this?
theater kid + having a lot of fun on the internet makes you a bit silly hehe hoo
SUSAN TAXPAYER QUESTIONS
Is it out?
Not yet! But hopefully sometime in the next year. I dunno! I take things at my own pace and keep stuff fun. :)
What are you using to make it?
SMBX2! It's a free fangame engine for Mario episodes, but it's incredibly versatile and has a wonderful community, so I decided to make Susan Taxpayer in it.
Is there a demo?
You betcha! You can find it right here. I'll also probably put it up on my itch.io.
How do I install it?
I made a post here about how to run the SAGE '23 demo!
2K notes ¡ View notes
hhrtfelt ¡ 5 months ago
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Se-mi appearance headcanons
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﹒ ૮꒰◞ ◟ ꒱ა ⸝ new upload! ❜
   ˚     ➺     ❀
 ⸝⸝  ◦  tags: regular gay se-mi glaze, facial piercings, suggestiveness (?) (maybe idk), no games au
 ⸝⸝  ◦  a/n: hello!! this is my first time ever posting headcannons or anything on this app and i’m REALLY nervous, i will always take constructive criticism/feedback, and if u have any request please let me know! also i apologize if this is short :-( if i get more ideas from you guys, they may be a lot longer than this!!!
update 2/1/25: fixing any errors or typos!
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Hair
- she usually has her regular haircut, but might grow it out sometimes.
- her hair definitely smells like some sort of dove shampoo and conditioner, specifically a vanilla scent.
- if she grows it out, it barley reaches past her shoulders; and if it reaches any longer she hates it. she never liked long hair on herself.
- she’s always wanted blonde highlights in her hair, she thinks it’ll look good on her.
Piercings
- ooo this was my FAVORITE part to write for!!!
- she definitely has both of her nostrils pierced, usually putting studs in them. speaking of nose piercings, she definitely has a septum and nobody can tell me otherwise. (THE NOSE RING IS LITERALLY CANON!!!!)
- and so is her LIP piercing!!! but i think she also have a tongue piercing for (👅👅heh…)
- lastly, she may have an eyebrow piercing and her ears pierced :-)
Bonus
- she convinced min-su to get his ears pierced, but he almost started crying when the piercing gun went through his ear. (my shayla😣😣) he only wears stud earrings and maybe dangly ones if he’s in the mood
Clothing
- you see, i was gonna make her wear masc lesbian clothes (which is what she wears in my world all the time) but when i looked on pinterest all i could find were like men and i was like EW!!!
- but anyways, she adores her leather jackets. she has a whole stash of them in her closet, she also owns a carhartt jacket (ifykyk)
- her closet consists of baggy jeans, sweatpants graphic tees, long, big button ups, and ties.
- she definitely has a pair of doc martins (who doesn’t???) (me. i don’t. i really want doc martins.)
- her favorite shoes to wear are definitely her crocs and converse. very comfy :-)
- she also owns like a bunch of beaters, why? because i said so.
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nereidprinc3ss ¡ 1 year ago
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okay i know this is kind of a specific request but can you do something with professor Spence and uni reader where they get into a spat and argue bc she did something stupid and he gets mad and she’s like “noooo pls don’t be mad i hate when you’re mad at me I’m sorry🥺” bc she literally cannot function knowing she let him down (me with everybody) but he’s like super stubborn and goes all closed up and quiet so that he doesn’t like blow up on her until she finally says like “pls talk to me” and he’s all pissed and like “hell na bitch u crazy!🗣️‼️” but then later he’s like “it’s ok i love u but neva do that shit again ho” then they make up and it’s good again 🎀 ok i explained that so poorly (and comedically if i may) but i hope u get it and pls make it SO DRAMATIC bc I live for drama! like she steals test answers or something or does something that could like get her kicked out of school OR him lose his job 🤔 sigh … idk I’m leaving now. Also i LOOPOOOCE ORRKGOOVI love your fics. Luv em
hey girl (gender neutral) this made me laugh bc genuinely sometimes i write spencer so ooc that is what he sounds like. and i'm not sorry! anyway this is potentially a vyvanse fueled nightmare but i wrote it and i'm posting it MY BLOG MY RULES BITCHESSSS!!!! but genuinely read the content warning LMAO this one got a lil kick to it
warnings/tags: ANGST, HURT/COMFORT, fem!reader, spencer and r get into a for real argument like they're mean to each other, spencer is a lil toxic but its resolved, emotionally neglects reader just for a teeensy second but then he's really nice and sweet again, discussion of his past addic+ion, gets fluffy because i'm not EVIL, gets suggestive at the end bc i am secretly evil.......
a/n: i don't know whats happening. this confuses me just as much as it confuses you. its 3 am in the morning. im gonna post nice happy things soon. Gootbye
“I cannot believe you right now. I don’t even—I don’t even know what to say.” 
“Spencer, you don’t have to say anything. It has nothing to do with you, and I’m not looking for your approval.” 
He looks up from where he’d been rubbing his temples, like you’re a headache, eyebrows raised and lips parted in indignant disbelief. 
“Oh! You’re not looking for my approval? Well thank god for that, because if you were one of my students I would recommend expulsion to the board.” 
“Are you fucking kidding me? I just said I don’t care about your opinion on this, much less your hypothetical opinion from some alternate universe where you have any authority over my education whatsoever.” 
“You distributed an answer key to half of your class! Objectively this is the kind of thing that gets people expelled. I don’t understand how someone so smart could do something so fucking stupid.” 
The words bite more than you were prepared for—but what hurts even more is how much he seems to mean them. In arguments past you’d both said things you didn’t mean, and then would immediately melt into I’m so sorry’s and the fight would resolve itself. Spencer’s clenched jaw and inability to make eye contact with you do not lend themselves to tender apologies. They cannot be attributed to miscommunication. 
You take a step closer to where he’s bracing himself against the countertop, arms crossed defensively in front of your chest. 
“Spencer, I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was such a big deal. People cheat in college all the time.” 
Still no reply. His head shakes so minutely you wonder if you’re imagining it. Panic wells in your chest. 
“Please talk to me. I really hate when you ice me out. I’m sorry, okay? Just... please say something.” 
Finally, his eyes slide to you. They lack the fiery anger of moments ago but there’s not much softness there either. His normally warm gaze now feels too abrasive, too cold and sharp on your bare skin. You're exposed, much too soft for that grating look, and it feels like he can see everything that’s wrong with you. 
“Believe me when I tell you this. I am doing us both a favor by not speaking to you right now.” 
And then he’s leaving the kitchen—nothing but a breeze against your cheek and the sound of a door slamming to prove he was ever there. 
The apartment is silent. You stand in the middle of the kitchen, unsure of what to do next. Spencer very, very rarely gets angry at you to the point of neglect, and you know he’s doing his best with what was modelled for him as a child and his tendency to feel things so deeply it’s nearly disabling; but that doesn’t make it hurt much less. It doesn’t make you feel less abandoned or alone.  
You’re sad, and you’re still pissed, and maybe you’re in just a bit of shock as you robotically move back to your nest of blankets on the couch and resume your schoolwork. What else is there to do? Unless Spencer is right—unless you really are about to get expelled after getting the answer key for an upcoming test from a friend, who then gave it to another friend, and so on. But is that really your fault?  
It’s a struggle to stay focused as your mind keeps drifting back to Spencer in the other room, those cruel words and that cold steely look in his eye that isn’t supposed to ever be aimed at you. It’s not a secret that side of him exists, but it doesn’t belong in this apartment. It’s not something he needs to use against you. He’s supposed to be on your side. But instead, he’d said you should be expelled and essentially called you stupid. And now you’re doing homework for a class at a school you may not even be a student of come Monday. 
---------------------------------------------------
The sound of the office door opening forty-five minutes later spikes your blood pressure and simultaneously makes your heart flutter, because no matter how mad at him you might be, Spencer is still Spencer.  
He comes to stand behind the couch quietly, but you don’t acknowledge him. Maybe your typing gets a bit more aggressive, but aside from that you flat out reject his presence. 
“Can we talk?” 
You let him sweat for a minute as you finish your paragraph. 
“I don’t know, Spencer. Can we? Or are you not done with your temper tantrum?” 
“That is... well deserved,” he sighs, rounding the couch and tapping the bottom of your foot, signaling that he wants you to move your legs. You despise how automatically you comply, pulling your knees to your chest to avoid touching him as he sits next to you. There’s a long moment of silence, in which you resume typing. Spencer scoffs, leaning in slightly to peer at your screen. “Are you doing homework right now? I’m a complete asshole to you and you just... do your homework?"
“What the fuck else was I supposed to do?” you almost-yell, slamming your laptop shut and blinking away potential tears. “The only person I wanted to talk to called me stupid and fucking left!” 
The tears realize their potential once you admit the blunt truth. 
Spencer carefully moves your laptop and pulls you into his arms—and you just let him. There’s not much fight left in you. There wasn’t a lot to begin with. 
“I am so sorry, angel. You’re right, I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have yelled, I shouldn’t have said what I said, I shouldn’t have walked away. I overreacted.” 
“Yeah, you really did,” you cry, allowing him to run his hand over your hair. “Why did you do that? Why were you so fucking mean?” 
His voice shakes slightly as he responds, betraying his own anxieties, and a new, unwelcome sense of trepidation slithers through your veins. 
“I was wondering that, too. Even as I was saying it, I knew—I knew it wasn’t what I wanted to be saying. And then I was in the other room and I wanted to be out here, and I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t. But I think I was just scared. Which—I know, doesn’t really make sense, but... I think about when Ethan dropped out of the academy, and ended up doing heroin in New Orleans for three years, and I think about when I almost left the BAU because I was so convinced I’d never get clean that I didn’t even want to anymore, and—and the idea of you losing your education and your direction like that terrified me, probably unreasonably, and I took it out on you. And I’m sorry.” 
“But I’m not like you or Ethan. You don’t have to worry about that. Even if I... even I do get in some sort of disciplinary trouble. That’s a road you don’t have to worry about me going down, ever.” 
He fixes some unseen wrinkle on your shirt.  
“Yeah, but, remember... I used to not be like me or Ethan either. Do you think twelve-year-old Spencer would have ever even considered that of the infinite realities and universes which exist, he was living in one where someday he’d be shooting up in the bathroom at work?” 
“Mm-mm,” you hum, shaking your head and burying your face in Spencer’s shoulder. The sound is more of a plea for him to be less descriptive than an answer to his rhetorical question. It’s still much easier for him to talk about that part of his life than it is for you to have to actually imagine it. You didn’t know him then, but you’ve seen pictures, and you know Spencer now, and it’s... it’s just too much. Too sad. 
“Okay,” he agrees soothingly, still playing with your hair. “I digress. My point is that literally anything is possible, and while it’s not necessarily likely, I more than anyone know that anxiety even over the most improbable of things is never completely unfounded.”  
You sniffle in response, too emotionally and physically exhausted to contribute much to the conversation by this point. Thankfully, Spencer can talk for two. An idiosyncrasy which you love and comes in handy every once in a while. He can play his own devil’s advocate; in this case, you. 
“But that doesn’t mean I get to take it out on you. Ever. I truly, truly, sincerely apologize for that. I never want to hurt you.” 
You let the apology sink into your skin like a salve, soothing every abrasion those earlier words had left in their violent wake. 
After a few minutes, you find the energy to ask a question that might best remain unanswered. 
“Are you still mad at me?” 
He’s quiet for a beat, seemingly contemplative as his fingers trace abstract patterns in a language all his own on your arm. 
“I’m not thrilled. But you were right earlier. It’s not my place to be mad at you for something like that.” 
“Mm... it’s a little bit your place. You’re an actual professor.” 
He chuckles. 
“At an entirely different university.” 
“Thank god,” you laugh. “You and me at the same school would be such an HR clusterfuck.”
While it’s almost a serious matter, the smile in his voice is evident. 
“Yeah... I, uh... try not to think about it.” 
“Okay, but seriously. In your professional opinion. Am I fucked? Like, do I need to prepare an appeal and character witnesses or whatever?” 
Spencer sighs. 
“It was incredibly reckless and irresponsible. You should be ready for disciplinary pushback from the schoolboard if you get caught. That being said... because over sixty of you got a hold of the answer key, I doubt anyone is getting expelled, and even if they did, it would likely only be the TA and the student he gave the key to. It’s my tentative, professional opinion that you’ll probably be fine.” 
You relax slightly, allowing a tension you didn’t realize was there to shed like an old skin. 
“I’m not gonna cheat again,” you promise on an exhale. It’s simply too much risk for too little reward.
Spencer’s response is quiet, and comes much faster than you’d expected. 
“Oh, I know you aren’t. Because if you do, you’re going to have to worry about disciplinary action from me. And I’m not nearly as nice as the dean of your school, darling girl.” 
But something about the way he says it—a thinly veiled threat/promise contrasted by a sweet kiss to your forehead—doesn’t exactly make academic honesty look all that exciting.
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