#if u ship them get off my lawn

[mymelodymia]

Hey bby how r u? I got a request cause my emotions have been wonky asf can you write where Mike has a younger sis like 13-14 basically going through a lot and is getting bullied at school for not being the "prettiest" being teased and picked on constantly for being the "weird" one, shy, mostly to themselves hard to make friends etc. Iv gone through that and it sucks :(

Uhh fluffy lots of comfort mike lowkey beats the shot outta them. Anyways ty 😊 have a good one hun 🩷

Bullys // Mike Schmidt x sister!reader

**not a ship**

Summary: you're being bullied and don't say anything,

Warnings: bullying, bruises, Mike beating the shit out of some middle-schoolers,

Age: 13

A/N: hi baby! I'm doing good, I hope you like the way this came out 🥰

+•°+*°•++•°+*°•+

You had been being bullied for a while now. You kept it a secret for a while, most nights you cried yourself to sleep. What did you do to them? You hadn't done anything to them, they just did it to be little pains in the ass.

You tried to make friends but no one liked you and you didn't know why. You got good grades, you helped people in class, and you were literally the sweetest person in the world.

One day you couldn't take it anymore, you were riding home on your bike when you were suddenly hit the ground. Some kids had pushed you, (assholes) you skined your knees on the road, and Injured your palms from catching yourself.

They all took turns kicking you, before an old man walked out in a robe, yelling at them to get off his lawn (sorry)

You were badly injured from the force of the kicks. You could barely stand back up. You had been able to cover up most of your bruises with hoodies and sweaters, but you couldn't take it anymore

You broke down crying on your bike, sobbing loudly. You somehow had the strength to slowly peddle the bike and got home two hours after your curfew. It was now sundown, the street lights had turned on not long ago.

Mike was extremely worried about you. You had been very distant and quiet over the past few months. You spent most of your time in your room. And you oddly always left food on your plate. He didn't know why, he assumed it was connected to puberty in a way.

But when he saw you biking down the street, he let out a sigh of relief, but soon turned angry.

"Where have you been!? Do you know how late it i-" he yelled, pausing when he saw your tear-stained cheeks and puffy red eyes. "What happened? W-who did.....whats wrong?" He asked holding one of your shoulders

You slowly took of the jacket you were using to hide the cuts and bruises all along your body. He gasped and gently caressed a few down your arm.

You sniffed and he hugged you. Wrapping his strong arms around you securely. "Who did this to you?" He asked as you sobbed into him. "Y/n...please tell me who it was, i need names." He said in a soft tone.

You slowly whispered every single person who ever hurt you. And that took a while since practically everyone in the school was bullying you.

He listened carefully, remembering everything you said. He carried you inside, sitting on the couch, he allowed you to crawl into his lap and cling to him.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, he held you to his chest. He couldn't belive someone would hurt his baby sister. This disbelief quickly turned into anger.

Filled with rage, he slowly set you down and took his car keys and put on his coat. You didn't have the strength to follow him, so you curled up into a ball and sat there for a good hour.

Mike returned with a small bruise on his cheek, just under his eye. Let's just say that he took care of them 😈

He picked you up like a baby, cradling you in his arms. He walked you over to his room and plopped you down, forgetting about your injuries.

When you winced in pain he immediately apologized, "oh im so sorry, i forgot, im sorry baby.." he said taking you his arms again, kissing the top of your head.

He walked out for a moment and returned with a tube of something, he applied a small amount to his cheek in a mirror, before coming over to you.

He rubbed it gently into your skin, being sure not to hurt you.

You thanked him when he was finished, he set the tube down on his night table, he climbed into bed and wrapped his arms around you gently. You rested your head on his chest softly.

"Mike."

"Hmm" he responded, waiting Patiently for you to continue. "They have been doing this for a few months now, they'd call me fat and ugly all the time and whenever i would laugh they'd say its ugly." You kept going on and on about what they did to you for a few more minutes.

"Y/n, baby, you are not fat, and your laugh is one of my favorite things to hear, dont let that stuff get to you okay? I love you, and since i haven't heard you laugh in so long i would definitely tickle you right now, but i might hurt you so, just wait until your bruises are gone" he said with an evil smirk on his face. You whimpered, giggling at the same time, you snuggled into his chest.

He ran his fingers through your dark curly locks, rocking you back and forth, he sung you a lullaby to lull you to sleep. This was one of the only nights were he didn't dream abt Garrett.

This was a good excuse.

+•°+*°•++•°+*°•+

Tags

None :((((((

[studentfilmyoulying]

can u feed me another brim fanfic😭 I love brim too much

It took a while, but absolutely :3 bc same tbh

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ship: Brim (Brian Thomas x Tim Wright

Length: ~700 Words

Trigger warnings: none

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brian pulled up to the Blockbuster, Tim in the passenger seat; the sun was starting to set and warm colors washed over everything. He starts to get out of the car and realizes Tim isn't following suit. 

"C'mon Tim, you gotta help pick out a movie for tonight," he reached over and casually brushed Tim's hair out of his eyes, doing his best to ignore how this made the other man blush. 

"Brian, I told you, I'm not going in with all this makeup on my face. I don't know why Kralie even bothers; his camera is too shitty to pick it up anyways," Tim huffed. 

"Oh, please, you can barely tell, and plus, it looks good on you. It highlights your masculine features and those sexy as fuck sideburns," Brian comments sarcastically before bursting into laughter as his friend flipped him off and rolled his eyes. 

"You know you love them, Bri. Alright, fine, I'll go in, but if I get hate-crimed for being a man wearing makeup in Alabama, it's on you." 

Brian stifled his laughter as they both got out and went into the Blockbuster. They walked straight to the VHS section as neither of them had a DVD player yet, and Tim claims it "looks more authentic," whatever that means. He immediately picks up some 80s dark fantasy film with barely clothed women on the front and shows it to Tim, waggling his brows at him suggestively. He responds by smacking him on the back of his head (on him tippy toes) and keeps looking. 

"What're you in the mood for tonight?" 

Tim scans the shelves before picking one up, "How about My Little Pony—A Very Minty Christmas, eh? Seems like a real thriller." 

"I hate you," Brian says as he tries not to draw too much attention to them with his raucous laughter. He picks up one they haven't seen before and suggests it. "How about this one? Looks interesting," 

"I'm down; let's go pick out some snacks." Tim then heads over to the snack area, where he grabs a box of Muddy Bears, Snowcaps, and Cookie Dough Bites. Brian grabs a box of popcorn, and they go checkout. Once they finish, they pile back into Brian's car and head over to his place for a movie night. 

~ 

They get to Brian's place as the sky tints the front lawn purple with the setting sun. After getting inside, the two men easily slip into their usual roles. Tim prepares the popcorn and snacks; Brian sets up the movie and makes the living room cozy. It just became routine to them after awhile, and it was easier this way. 

Popcorn popped, and movie started, they cuddled up together on the couch with a blanket thrown over their laps. As if knowing the movie was about to begin, the sun finished it's descent to the horizon and it was now dark outside, setting the mood perfectly. 

The title screen came up; "The Forgotten" appeared on screen as Tim leans in to rest his head against Brian. The taller man returns the gesture by grabbing Tim's hand under the blanket and giving it a gentle squeeze. 

~ 

As quickly as it began, it was over. Brian disentangled himself from Tim, much to the others disappointment, and turned the lights on. 

"I'm still not sure if that was supposed to be God or aliens in the sky." 

""I'm gonna go with Aliens; why would God do experiments on people?" Brian responds as he sits back down. 

"I mean, why wouldn't he?" Almost as soon as Brian was situated on the couch, Tim got all over him again. 

He rolled his eyes at the sassy remark and kissed the top of Tim's head, making the other man wriggle in place like an overly-excited puppy. 

Tim continues, "I think it was God, and if God ever took away my memories of you, fuck, I'd challenge God to give you back too. Julianne Moore had the right idea. I'd be so lost and empty if I ever forgot you." 

"Well, thankfully," Brian begins, "that will never. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. Happen," and with each "ever," Brian peppered Tim's face with kisses, ending with a big smooch right on his lips. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AAAAA I had such a good time writing this!! It's so nostalgic and cozy! pls send more requests/asks :3

[roseofdarkness0]

Just snippets and random incorrect quotes that been stuck in my head and I had to take them out Sooooooo enjoy? I will have small snippet explain au as a context clue bc I'm not that evil yet.

Edit: Forgot to link it earlier but Poly Ship Au incorrect quotes Au

Married au: Gov and Cali are secretly married and no one knows but them.

~•~

Cali: I want a divorce

Gov: And I want those meetings to not derail into chaos but here we are

Utah: the only one who heard them and questioning his life rn

~•~

Cali: Have you seen our marriage certificate I nee-WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!

Gov: currently setting the certificate on fire GOOD LUCK RETURNING ME WITHOUT A RECEIPT

Cali: YOU SETTING THE LAWN ON FIRE YOU IDIOT

Utah, who just wanted to go out to his car:

Utah: shuffles back inside

~•~

Gov: casually taking four stairs at a time

Cali: falling behind, taking two stairs at a time Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fu-

~•~

after their old rings either get lost or damaged

Cali: I made this wedding band for you.

Gov: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.

Cali: You don’t have to wear it...

Gov: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.

~•~

Cali: If you don't stop talking, I'm going to jump out of that window.

Gov: ...We're on the ground floor.

Cali: I know but I want a dramatic exit.

Utah, who just wanted to finish the meeting with gov and go to his wife:

~•~

Cali: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!

Gov: How can you still say that?

Cali: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

~•~

After Penn and Virginia accidentally find the two making out in gov office

Cali: Are you mad?

Gov: No.

Cali: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

~•~

Cali: You saved me! Why?

Gov: People would think I murdered you if I didn't.

~•~

Gov: holds a gun out to Cali

Cali: I-I don't believe in guns.

Gov: Well, trust me, they're very real. Now take it.

~•~

Gov: Who hurt you?

Cali: snorting What, do you want a list?

Gov: ...Yes, actually.

~•~

Second a meeting with all the states finishes

Cali: I’m going to hell.

Gov: Probably.

Cali: I'll pick you up?

Gov: nodding Carpool.

States: ????????

Utah: I fReAkinG KnEw IT

~•~

Nevada blinked and watched with increasingly worried expression as Utah muttered to himself, staring at the wall in his office that was covered with scribbled on pages, some photos and a lot of red string.

"Utah??? You good there?"

"Whole week!"

"...w-whole week what?" Nevada flinched as dishevelled and frankly crazy looking Utah turned towards him, pinning him to the spot with just his crazied gaze alone.

"I had to suffer through two of them setting lawns on fire, flirting right in front of me instead of finishing the meetings and Gov mysteriously coming back covered in red substance back to the statehouse in the middle of the night. Heck!!!! WE ALL HEARD THEM FLIRT AN HOUR AGO IN THE MEETING ROOM!" Utah turned back to his conspiracy wall, shaking with what seemed to be explosive cocktail of tiredness and anger "AND YET EVERYONE DISMISSED IT?!"

"W-well to be fair it's hard to imagine-"

"PENNSYLVANIA AND VIRGINIA WERE COMPLAINING ABOUT THEM MAKING OUT JUST FEW DAYS AGO"

"They could have been joking?"

"WHY THE F U C K WOULD THEY JOKE ABOUT THAT?!" Utah look ready to commit murder and Nevada didn't really want to give him ideas on who to murder considering there was only two of them in the room right now.

"Right, you may be right but look at it that way, you are sleep deprived and twitchy enough your wife would replace you wit-" he stopped the joke seeing Utah eyelids twitch violently"-nevermind, point is how about I drive you back to your houses you can relax and nap there instead of being stuck here going a bit cray cray?"

Utah seemed to be considering Nevada offer for a bit before stiffly nodding. Without another word he shoved most of his stuff into his bag and approached Nevada jerkily nodding at him to lead the way.

Cheering oh the inside for the small victory. Nevada confidently strolled out of Utah office just to stop in his track and blink rapidly at

"California? What the fuck are you wearing?"

"Hm? Oh this old thing? I thought the red dress may go well with those shoes and because it's a dinner I matched it with that fancy-"

"Not what I meant-but good pairing, I would have went with different eyeliner but it does work for you-I meant more like why?"

"Oh that's easy, diner with husband"

Nevada didn't need to turn around to be able to know that Utah looks 5 seconds away from either murder or complete break down.

"Uh huh like husband as in friend and their husband or?"

".. I mean like my husband, I haven't spent half my salary on making our rings for nothing you know?"

Nevada blinked as he finally spotted the wedding ring adoring California finger. Before he could question California or himself further there was loud honk coming from outside.

"That must be Gov! I see you two tomorrow!" California winked and went off downstairs, not one to miss the drama Nevada dragged poor Utah after him with one hand whilst in the other he brandished his phone just in time to film Florida do a spit take at Texas face who didn't even acknowledge the scalding coffee as he seemed to have several personal revelations about himself at once.

Louisiana was halfway through drinking to avoid responsibility but choked on his daiquiri when the door opened to reveal handsomely dressed Gov who just looked unimpressed by the chaos happening in front of him. He looked ready to reprimand them but was successfully distracted by California planting a kiss on his cheek which seemed to set of another round of chocked noises, wheezes and rapid slams to the back.

"Cmon we have reservation to get to and I'm not wasting the hours I spend putting the outfit together" Cali tugged on Gov tie to get him back outside.

"If we miss it I will pull few strings-"

"Nope, no string pulling cmon off we go, bye guys!" with a quick wink and a wave California managed to drag Gov outside and towards the car.

"...."

". . ."

Louisiana coughs again, clearing his throat and wincing at the daiquiri he had wasted, patting Florida when he came over and buried his flaming red face into Louisiana shoulder.

Utah just looked very smug and vindicated. Without another word he went to his car to finally get back to his home.

[hisintentions]

have u ever had a weird encounter wit a Florida man since ur from there?

my brothers trying to build a tank, my father has built multiple ships from scratch which isnt strange but their armored, ive seen a crackhead suck toes, seen a lil kid smoke cigs off the front of the 7-11 floor, and had these neighbors who used to drink and get hella mad and would fight and shoot each other of the front lawn of their home. nobody lived nearby them besides me and my grandparents, grandparents found it hilarious and i was 2 scared to call police. had liveleak irl

and nobody ever reported the killed missing because they were illegal immigrants and had no family there and the others didnt wanna get deported according to my conclusions

[commaclear]

So since ÆÆ anon was concerned abt what was going on with my being blackmailed, I come here with updates on that situation first and foremost, before I deal with ÆÆ's bloodthirstiness.

so. I got into contact with my blackmailer. they were willing to stop being a fuckin creep (even after I used a machine gun to chase them off of my lawn), and that's all good and all, but. I chased them off with my gun bc they revealed themself to be fucking ÆÆ anon.

so anyway. we had a civil conversation after my overreaction. they called me stormy (jealous, qaa?) and then I fucking realized. they didn't even fuckin know who I was. I told them, i told them: "fuck u for fuckin my mom and fuckin my ex that's fucked up" and they still didn't know who i was. this bitch is ominously coming to other anons' doorsteps too???? THEY WERENT JUST FUCKING MY MOM. WILBUR SEMI DEFENDER, I THINK THEY WERE FUCKING YUOR MOM TOO. DONT TRUST THEM DONT FUCK THEM THEY FUCKED YOUR MOM

I'll give them this, tho. they were very apologetic for mistaking me for other anons. and for apparently not having given much of a fuck abt my mom. oh my God I think they fucked ****** anon's mom too... you really get around, huh? I'm frankly a little impressed, but mostly fuckin disgusted.

Fuck you. Fuck ur mom, you Freudian piece of shit, and. just saying. qaa cares just as much abt u than you cared about a lot of our moms. You have all this big talk about fate and how u and qaa were always attracted to one another, but let's get this straight. even if you're okay with qaa using you, just know that's all this is. qaa didn't know you were the same gender whore anon from months ago, they just started making moves on you to piss our poor Saint Comma off who's right for anti-shipping qaa.

sincerely,

quackity apologist anon (NOT qaa, wilbur semi defender anon or ******)

First of all, the mom fucking is hilarious, but you'd better stay away from my mom (for those of you who don't know she's bisexual, Floridian, and even more unhinged than you would expect from your average Florida escapee... the stories I've heard from that woman.........)

And on a more serious note, feuding is hilarious so long as it's all in good fun, but I want to make sure none of y'all take it too far. Anonymity on the internet makes it way to easy to be cruel to strangers or take jokes too far. I none of you mean ill, but seriously don't go on other people's blogs and threaten or blackmail anyone. Even as a joke, that's not cool. If you're gonna feud or threaten each other, please keep in my inbox where I can play referee, okay? We're all here for a good time, and as your appa, I want to make sure no one gets accidentally hurt

And once again, do not fuck my mom. You couldn't handle it.

[the-firebird69]

PRISTINE 1986 HONDA CMX250C REBEL

We are in the deserts and we don't have those ships yet and these guys are at each other so hard it's gross and we're turning this next and they're going to use high tech stuff and we have to go down there are these big fellows are going to go down there and rip them apart I've never seen people so aggressive in my life and he's aggressive he has control it and it's a pain it says it causes pain it really does but if he keeps on leashing and unleashing his testosterone will go up he says and they say it's true so it's kind of helped him they say it went from 8.5 to 8 in the past 4 years and it might be the trip to fan and it says part of it it's a turkey so eating a lot of turkeys it's not why it makes me more stressed for real we have to sit there and wait for them to come out they have weapons on it it's just a damn nuisance God is horrible and other people are starting to get there and they're going to figure it out hopefully if these guys ever get there for Christ's sake they can't get anywhere I do what he say I know what he's saying too why don't you go somewhere I changed this motor out no I'm going to go do it I can't believe it the original mowers motor is slower than a lawn mower motor this ridiculous

Friend of hulk Hogan now I'm his son

Hulk Hogan Jr and the name is also on the shop Kaplan

I'm not the test guy but okay that's good

Kaplan

And we did take one of these Honda rebels and we put a 35 horsepower Craftsman lighter mower engine and tranny and it just barely fits it's the biggest you can get in there it wants to see what the top speed was cuz that's what the pushes even though we're going to have regular ones and more reasonable with different trim packages and you can have a big one like this 35 with bags and we're going to call it the Daveis Harley 23 SUE Bagger. Yeah that's also funny he started calling Sarah Sue he's really interested for crying out loud no he's not. And that's what we got out of it with the bags and the cow was ridiculous 230 mph yeah that's stupid and we trimmed it down and we called the Davies Harley 32 s u e Sportster because that's what the Sportster is like trim down and we're not naming the animal names this time but it says that on the tank and it's classy it says David Harley and the bigger letters and not so much purple and orange I like Chrome and black and underneath in small square letters is a designation and it's just like Harley-Davidson and you take the Honda stuff off the whole bike and we have stuff that goes there for Davis Harley double eagle is the symbol and we're doing it now and the ones that are like the bagger that you saw the roadster that's what you call it is a we're calling th at Davy's Harley roadster Sue 301 and you will see that it is very nice and you have golden eagles and golden lettering. Is wonderfully fast and it's liquid cooled and the conversion doesn't cost much and it's really less gas you get at 6065 mph or even 70 you get about 45 miles to the gallon if you go 55 you get a hundred miles to the gallon and people running around town say I can just use a small gas tank it came with but it comes with a huge tank with the old Harley with that big huge tank it's insane that these motors work better they last a long time when you liquid cool them and we're saying it's mandatory

If you're making a Davies Harley-Davidson and you're making these models you must use liquid cooling TO BE A REAL DAVIES HARLEY-DAVIDSON YOU MUST HAVE YOUR RIDER LAWN MOWER ENGINE LIQUID COOL JACKET THEY'RE NOT MUCH MONEY BUT WE'RE THE ONES MAKING THEM AND THAT'S WHAT WE'RE USING

Now a little perturbed that you change all sorts of stuff but we put the lettering the way we wanted up above we want to repeat some stuff

This is our bike our brand and we're making them and we're setting the standard if you want to make them you should follow the standard and you'll see what it is it's a certain respect tire for a certain model and a certain horsepower for a certain model and they're very specific and you see why and you have several models already you can make

We want to follow this and we're going to try and issue a pamphlet on what to use and all of it is very inexpensive and we want to do that to make this a uniform company and it's like a do-it-yourself company but it will look like a very big firm and it's really everybody and it's going to be nice ultimately we're going to start making the motorcycles everyone has that plan though but we should be on the same page

We're going to make up the pamphlet there is a suggestion line please use it if you have a decent suggestion remember this is what we're trying to do to just get by and to do a little better and to help people make it of hours in each of ours

We're going to go ahead and start making a pamphlet and I think we have four models and if you look at the last few posts you see them we didn't change the high performance tires until after the 301 is for cost purposes the tires on him can go real fast you need it for 280ish I really can go about 300 but you don't want to do that too many times are these bikes are great and there's parts everywhere for them for other items you might have to fix or replace and gosh darnit they work really well with these motors

Frank Castle hardcastle

I'm making mine now with the yardmaster and you're right we have to pick a planet and we're going ahead and doing it now and we both been working on it like gangbusters be seriously though we're going to be the next in line to be the people who are way too big and in both ways it's even worse hopefully get a lot of help

Duke nukem Blockbuster

I just want to see something I should probably stop doing that no I got to tell you something you like to be pursued and he says he's going to get the 420 and it's not marijuana and he flicks it out and there's some idiot behind him no that might be one of us and he's cursing him out and flipping the bird and it's good that you didn't forget anything now we're going to make these bikes and I get this the 420 makes it six models and you forgot about it and so we're going to have to write it in a pamphlet and send it out it's going to be like an underground pamphlet kind of thing that's going to have the official logo and we're going to have that blue and purplish blue and orange it's going to be hug around a bluish purple but that's going to be only uncertain bikes it's a nice color and it's going to be on probably the smaller bikes that are the scooter size and we're getting to it and try to find it

Hera

Zues

We approve this message to post

Olympus

[reverielix]

hellooo, since i am very into astrology as well, i’d love if you could do a lee know as boyfriend based on his chart^^ i know we still don’t know about his venus sign (if libra or scorpio), so just choose which one you think suits him best, thank you in advance!

Ooo this sounds fun👀💕

First of all, I’m pretty convinced he’s a Gemini rising (8pm), which means he has a Scorpio Venus. His voice (2nd house) sounds more like Cancer (calming, rather comforting, not very high) than Sagittarius-like (high-pitched, loud, mood-maker) and he just gives me Gemini vibes haha He gives off a playful appearance more than an intense aura (though his glares send Hyunjin running, I think that’s more his inner Scorpio stellium coming through). If he’s a Gemini rising, his chart ruler would be in Scorpio, which could give him that more round face, and in the 6th house, which could give him a youthful appearance paired with those eyes🥰. Lastly, his rising’s decan would be Libra, which could also contribute to a rather round face than the typical Gemini rising’s rather slim appearance (+ Libra rules the butt lol and we all know Minho‘s shameless liking toward the members’ butts haha) He’s also pretty outgoing and chatty, which his mc in Aquarius and Gemini rising can also point at. I do want to point out that guessing any celebrity’s placements is like trying to guess their mc persona chart’s placements because their image is very controlled and what they do is extremely calculated/regulated.

So now that we’ve settled that, let’s get started!!💫

⇢ confession/beginning stages

I feel like he would be really flirty and straightforward because of his rising and Mercury as well as his Venus. His flirting style is versatile and adaptable to the person (Moon in Sagittarius in the 7th house, Gemini rising), and at first he’d try to keep it less intense, smile/smirk a little (his smile also contributes to my tendency to view him as a Gemini rising rather than a Scorpio rising😌).

When he’s gotten more comfortable around the other person and they seemingly are comfortable around him as well, he’d start letting his intense aura and Scorpio stellium come to shine as he’d enjoy making the other person feel flustered, though his Scorpio Venus suggests that he’d love for somebody to do that with him as well, seeing as his Sun-Venus conjunction doesn’t only indicate confidence, but also that he’s attracted to people who are similar to him.

His confession would be overall heartfelt, genuine, romantic and intense. His way with words (moon in 7th since he’s talking about his emotions here, Gemini rising, well aspected Mercury) would allow him to talk without stuttering too much or at all, though I can see him being nervous (his emotions are strong, and when he loves, he LOVES).

⇢ overall behavior in relationship

Once he finds himself in a relationship with somebody, he’d be pretty dedicated and loyal, which he’d expect from his partner as well. Other than Jeongin for instance, he wouldn’t be really big on personal space, instead he would be keen on skin ship and always want to touch his s/o’s butt 🤭.

His Venus lies in opposition to his Saturn in Taurus (no orb), which suggests feelings of insecurity and unworthiness which stems from criticism by authority figures and lack of affection (especially from a father or father-figure). Here, the planet of relays and restrictions can indicate a late recognition of that he deserves happiness instead of pity and love instead of loneliness (this aspect also indicates a feeling of unworthiness of financial success, so he may feel like he doesn’t deserve his place as an idol). Loving himself can thereby be a challenging road that he for a long time didn’t even know he had to take. This can result in insecurities being projected onto the other person or a detachment from his s/o as he is scared to show them all of him out of fear of rejection or not being accepted. Just like with all Saturn aspects, with hard work and age comes a great deal of contentment and what he’s understood he deserves (money and love in regards to Venus and Saturn).

Meanwhile, Neptune is in a square with Venus, (1° orb) which points out a deception and inability to draw a clear line between judgement and his gut feeling. In this case, he can take things his s/o says very personally, though he might act as if nothing’s wrong (Scorpio stellium,...). People with this aspect typically dream to escape reality as well as are languid and messy (missing/coming late to dates although he’s strongly dedicated to the relationship, he may just forget or feel secretly hurt about something that wasn’t really offensive but he made out to be). This sensitivity toward what others say feeds into the Saturn-Venus aspect and a feeling of inadequacy and dishonorability. Overall, his Venus (love style, behavior in relationships, desires, attraction) is badly aspected in his chart, though his s/o and their personality is a key-point to look at in any relationship.

As a boyfriend in general, Minho may be extremely emotionally invested, possessive, devoted and sharing. Once he’s with someone, he gives himself to that person. Additionally, his Venus in the 5th along with his Sun in the 5th and conjunct his Venus suggest a very present and, again, dedicated lover who loves with his whole heart and all he’s got (meanwhile he makes an effort to look especially detached and funny/playful in public or in front of cameras, which, among other placements, his mc in Aquarius hints at). Lastly he may be excellent at boosting his partner’s confidence, yet may also need validation back. (Can I just say that his Sun and Venus in the 5th make his chart the one of a born performer, which obviously shows + his love for art shows here as well🤓😊.)

⇢ dates

His Scorpio Venus in the 5th makes me think of spontaneous, grand-gesture dates that take place where he’s granted privacy with his s/o and everything’s only about the two. He may wants to move around, like go to an abandoned park where the grass is a little too high and play games/teach them a dance before they watch the stars when the night comes🥺💫. I can see him being very romantic and bold, so he may just sneak kisses here and there (5th house suggests spontaneity and the thrill of surprises). Here are brief moments of how I imagine a date with him:

“I’m bored. Let’s go somewhere.”

he walks toward his room’s red oak panel door

“Where do you want to go?”

your naked feet follow his to the cold stone floor behind the door

“Let’s decide on the way.”

over pine trees and bushes his reflection distracts you

eyes are narrowed when he’s concentrated, wrinkles adorn his cheeks

“5 minutes.”

“Huh?” you turn your head

“I’ve figured out a place, we’re only gonna need another 5 minutes.”

“Want a kiss? Come and get it then!”

he trips over dandelions and grass, smug-smiling, and doesn’t slow down

your feet stomp the grass, your determination takes over

after two breaks of resting your arms on your thighs, he gives in, lets you win

“I did that on purpose.”

“I don’t care.”

right legs cross the lefts and knees buckle while arms swing up, fingers fold out and eyebrows are raised

dancing is way harder than it looks, you’ve just figured

behind gracious twirls hide strength and control, something the slippery lawn hampers

“No, the feet need to be pointed in a different angle.” Minho held his hands out flat.

amidst your ambition to strech your arm “elegantly”, sunset hugs your silhouettes around the shadows

distant stars create a pattern in everless darkness, the waning gibbous moon sheds light

“Do you ever think of death?” your eyes dart the distance

“Like how? Don’t we all?” his trace the sharp shadow of your nose cast on your cheek

“We’re just such a small fragment of the universe. Gone before it even noticed us.”

“No, I believe we’re here for a reason. I think we have a big presence in the universe. Life is so magical, and so is death. It scares most, because it’s unpredictable. But so is tomorrow.”

Existential conversation with Minho™️

⇢ kisses

Ooooooo his s/o is in for something😳 The Scorpio stellium and 5th house Sun conjunct Venus suggests passion and bold, unexpected actions. He doesn’t just kiss for fun. If he kisses, he KISSES. The Virgo Mars also adds a feeling of security. I can see how he likes “crossing lines” and being bold, though it feels comfortable and safe. A lil types of kisses list...

obvi the passing food one lol

a sudden one that takes the other’s breath away

one in which he holds the other’s waist/cups their cheeks and forgets about everything around him

salty ones after a reunion or fight

one in which breaths are shared

a combination of kisses he thought of the night before when he couldn’t sleep (very unusual, but if anyone can pull it off with confidence, it’s Minho)

It was so much fun making this haha💞 hope u like it!🌫

[peonycats]

iran + china for the ask game if you're still doing it?

Iran

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life

alighnment: goth | prep | nerd | jock

best quality: hmmm I’ll prbly say that they’re a master negotiator- they strike a great balance between being proud and not underestimating their opponent (most of the time, they’re not exactly immune to hubris) When you finally get through them and all that pomp and circumstance, they can be surprisingly forthright and honest (thought it’s an entirely different story for family members or ppl they have troubled relationships with)

worst quality: Their brutal pragmaticism tbh- it’s a side effect of living for so long and seeing such dramatic and drastic changes, but they’re very good at doing whatever it takes. They’re a little bit more at peace/resigned with this than someone like, say, India.

ship them with: India (their dramatic and proud natures mean they mesh well together), China (Silk Road gang and often travelled to see each other in caravans), Ethiopia (fought a war over yemen that one time but they’re chill now)

brotp them with: India, China, Ethiopia, Ancient Egypt, Egypt, Syria (have known each other since childhood and syria is just suffering :’) ), Armenia, Afghanistan, Tajikistan, Pakistan

(disclaimer that just because i put a chara here doesn’t mean i dislike the ship or even dislike seeing them together!) needs to stay away from: Rome, Ancient Greece, Saudi Arabia (”get off my lawn you whippersnapper”), Yemen (Have also known each other for a long time, Yemen is also :’) ), Turkey, England, Israel, Kurdistan, Syria

misc. thoughts: Grows flowers in their house. Eats a bunch of bastani. Most of their stuff kinda smells of roses. Comforted Egypt when his mom died. Complained a lot about Rome to China and India. Secretly fond of wine. Has a forbidden twitter account. When they were young, they had a pet hedgehog, and Kurdistan's pet fox kept on trying to eat it.

China

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life

alighnment: goth | prep | nerd | jock (TBH I THINK HE WENT FROM GOTH TO PREP AS HE GOT OLDER LMAO)

best quality: Hmmm, I think that he's actually fairly reliable and dependable if he's not trynna fuck you over- need hw help? he's a great tutor (if not for him being kind of an asshole if u don't get it as fast as he thinks u should) say ur hungry? he'll just suddenly peel some oranges for you. left your work lunch behind? he'll deliver it to you, complaining all the way

worst quality: Among his many many other flaws, one that stands out is definitely his condescension, superiority complex, and his belief that he always knows better than anyone. While that isn't unfounded, given that he's seen so much, it's also fucked him over a lot (rip opium wars) but once he learns his lesson with a foe, he is unlikely to make the same mistake (at least for a while)

ship them with: India (seen too much for too long, tired and nosy and horny), Iran/Persia (oldies and their silk road shenanigans)

brotp them with: India, Iran/Persia, Rome (sent letters and nudes to each other over the silk road), America (money money money motherfucker), south korea (sk cries in the corner when China shows up in his latest fashion atrocity), north korea (his reserved nature makes him more preferable to china), Macau (tho not explicitly stated, pretty clearly the family favorite), Vietnam (bugs her all the time, Viet is ignoring his calls), Ghana, Thailand

(disclaimer that just because i put a chara here doesn’t mean i dislike the ship or even dislike seeing them together!) needs to stay away from: England (china’s feelings on him remain understandably complicated, leaning to the derisive side), Russia (personally ambivalent on rochu tbh), Taiwan, Vietnam, Hong Kong, Tibet, Japan (HOOO BOI)

misc. thoughts: lights up a box of zhonghua/chunghwa cigarettes everyday. Found in the park every morning doing taichi. Experienced in a lot of fields of martial arts. Swears by Feng Shui. Still bikes everywhere. Complains about historical dramas’ accuracy and costuming all the time. Whenever he calls old friends, he’s on the damn phone for hours. Has a vegetable garden on his porch. Had a perm in the 80s. Once bought a bunch of currency for a game app he was playing on the black market and got banned from the game.

[tansypoisoning]

(Un)Conditional - Part 2

I Came Out to Have a Good Time and I’m Honestly Feeling So Attacked Right Now

You didn’t remember how or why you found yourself in Ransom’s bed in the first place, but now, poor, pregnant and desperate, you had your reasons for putting up with him, and they weren’t noble. His reasons for staying with you weren’t noble either.

Hey, long time no see... This took me longer than it should because I wasn’t sure about the dialogue. Still not sure about it. Some of you might have missed the polls I posted so you could help me decide the future of this series, so here they go: Whether or not I should redeem Ransom and What gender the baby (or babies, damn) should be. Democracy is important :)

Anyway: Reader meets the Thrombeys...

Story warnings:  Smut, abusive relationships, mentions of past sexual assault, talk of abortion, daddy kink, drinking, mention of drug use (Will add more as the story goes on)

Chapter 1 - Truce

Chapter 3 

Fandoms: Knives Out

Ships: Ransom Drysdale x Reader

Word Count: 6k

Chapter warnings: The reader and Ransom joke about incest and Ransom jokes about selling the baby to pay his grandfather back for all the money he lend him; people drink wine; there’s mention of drugs and people doing them; The Thrombeys are being particularly shitty.

You were off to the clinic to get an urine exam the next day. Ransom had encouraged you to get a more reliable test to make sure you were pregnant, but he wouldn’t accompany you. He was busy, he said, but he didn’t say with what. Probably begging his granddaddy for more money or chasing after another pair of legs.

The clinic would call you in a couple of days to let you know the results. The wait was killing you. The longer you waited, the harder it would be for you to get an abortion. At some point the pill would stop being an option, and you would have to go under the… knife? Scalpel? Coat hanger? Whatever the procedure entailed, it was bound to be more stressful than just taking some meds.

What was most concerning, though, was the possibility of you becoming attached to the fetus. Your misgivings originated from a fear that you might be doing something you shouldn’t, but you had no particular regard for the thing growing inside you. You might as well be carrying a rock – it certainly tired you like one. Some day that could change, though, and the moment it did you knew it would be game over.

The first thing you did when you got home was take off your coat, kick off your shoes and fall face-first on the couch. That was also the only thing you did. According to the sources you checked, fatigue was an early pregnancy symptom, but you weren’t sure it was meant to be this bad. Good thing you weren’t behind on your freelance work; you didn’t think you could handle doing anything that evening. You were hungry, but didn’t have the energy to even go to the kitchen. Your cellphone started ringing at some point, but you had dropped your bag by the entrance. Maybe something else happened too; you didn’t know, you fell asleep soon after.

You were roused from your nap by a cacophony of car honks right outside your window.

You jumped from the couch and stumbled to see what the commotion was about. You expected to find a car crash in front of your building, but all that was there was a familiar vehicle.

You stepped into your slippers and left your apartment. Ransom was still abusing the horn of his BMW when you came out onto the lawn.

“What are you doing?” You cried out, jogging to his car.

He put his head out through the window. “You don’t pick up your phone anymore?” He complained.

“I was sleeping.” The reason why you didn’t answer didn’t matter. This was a distraction. “Why are you here?”

“I came to pick you up, what else?” He seemed to notice you confusion and explained himself “I’m going to introduce you to my family. They’re having a dinner party tonight at my grandfather’s house. If I show up there with a kid before they even know the mother, my mother’s gonna kill me.”

That gave you pause. Introduce you to his family? That had never been in the cards before. Ransom had always been against anything that could hint to intimacy that went beyond sex, because intimacy entailed responsibility, and he was allergic to that. Your relationship was more of an arrangement, one in which he was the one with the most to gain.

Perhaps this would be your chance to really get something for yourself, something other than the occasional orgasm. Although Ransom’s charms and your proclivities were the biggest reason behind the start of your odd relationship, you’d be lying if you said his grandfather’s accomplishments didn’t affect your interest in him. Having been an avid reader of Harlan’s books back in high school (when you still had time and motivation to read) and now working as an assistant editor in the mystery fiction imprint of a large publishing company, you had hoped that maybe being involved with Ransom would give you the chance to meet him.

Even when it became clear Ransom didn’t like you like that, you still stuck around. He was inflexible when it came to your relationship’s dynamics, but you still had a sliver of hope that one day you’d get to meet his family. In the end you were right, and all you had to do to get your wish was let your idol’s grandson raw you after a couple of beers.

“I’m not even sure if I’m pregnant yet.”

“After five tests? Come on.”

“Well, I don’t know if I’m gonna keep it.”

“If you don’t, you don’t. Just let me introduce you before you decide. It’ll be awkward otherwise.”

You couldn’t argue with his logic. Ransom’s family wasn’t likely to think well of you if he introduced you as “the chick I knocked up by accident”. Your family wouldn’t be happy about it either, and yet you had to find a way to convince him to meet them at some point. You knew they weren’t going to like him, but it was better than trying to pretend it was a case of Immaculate Conception. They wouldn't fall for it anyway.

“Go get ready so we can go.” He said.

You nodded and ran back inside. He looked like he was in a rush, so all you felt comfortable doing was retouching your make up and putting on a different pair of pants. When you came back down, Ransom was pouting at his wheel.

“About time,” he said “I thought you weren’t coming.”

“I took like five minutes.”

“Eight.” He tapped the watch in his wrist.

You decided humoring him wasn’t worth it, so you got into the passenger seat without a word. Ransom took off, his tires squealing as he did a u-turn on your sidewalk. He always drove like a madman, most of all when he was in a hurry.

“How long ‘til we get there?” You asked.

“I can make it in half an hour.”

“I mean safely.”

“In that case, thirty minutes.”

Shame on you, forgetting Ransom was convinced he was immortal.

“Is there anything I have to know about your family before I get there?” You asked, trying to take your mind off the traffic lights flashing by at an alarming speed.

“I could never do them justice,” he snickered.

“At least give me something to work with.”

“You are going to have talk to my parents at least,” he mused “Just nod and agree with whatever my father says. You gotta be smarter with my mother, but avoid challenging her. Joni and Meg are annoying, Walt’s creepy, and there’s no point in talking to Donna and Jacob; they’re gonna hate you no matter what.”

“And Harlan?”

The question put a grimace on his face.

“Be honest. He’s gonna like you.” There was a minute pause before he added “We just celebrated his eighty-fifth birthday, so if you can bring up how good he looks for his age without being obnoxious, he’s gonna love it.”

“Eighty-five? When was that?” You liked Harlan’s work, but you didn’t like it enough to bother learning his birth year. You expected him to be younger, what with all the books he was still pumping out on a yearly basis.

“Last week.”

“Your family is big on get-togethers, then?”

He grimaced. “Unfortunately.”

“Familiarity breeds contempt,” you offered. You weren’t sure you’d get along with your parents as well as you did if they didn’t live in another state.

“Sucking does too.”

“But I thought you liked people who suck?”

That was a twelve year old boy joke, but it got you a chuckle.

“Already know what I’ll be trying today: Hey, Joni, blow me.”

“That’s your aunt right?” You asked and received a nod in response “I can’t wait to see you asking her for a blow job.” You didn’t really think he would go that far, so you weren’t worried you were goading him on. If he did it anyway, it would be because he decided the amusement he would get from pissing his aunt off would be worth whatever she could do to get back at him.

“Fuck, I’d accept one from my grandfather at this point.” You two had had sex just yesterday, but that was fine, you supposed.

“I think I’m going to regret this, but since we’re already in too deep and none of us knows when to stop, where are your parents in the Joni-Harlan blowjob scale?” This question might’ve offended anyone else, but Ransom was made of sterner, more horrible stuff.

He replied without missing a beat. “Oh, my dad wins easy. I don’t fancy getting bit.”

The throwaway line about his mother killing him if he just announced your pregnancy out of the blue came to mind. You wondered if she was as terrible as he made her out to be. You wondered if any of his relatives were as horrible as he made teem out to be.

“Hard to think you’d be scared of anyone in your family with all the money they lend you and you never pay back.”

He snorted. “I’m not scared of any of them. Wouldn’t be going if I were. I already owe Harlan more ‘one-pounds of flesh’ than I weigh.”

“Good thing he doesn’t charge interest.”

“Who says he doesn’t?” His eyes flicked to you for a moment, comically wide “What do you think I want the baby for?”

“You- you want the baby?” You knew he meant to jest about selling your child, and perhaps the bit about wanting it was said in the spirit of the joke, but you couldn’t help but hope it was a Freudian slip. Why did you hope that?

His Adam’s Apple bobbed as he considered your question for a few seconds. “I said I would help you with it.”

“No, you said that at first, but now you said you want it. I didn’t even ask for help, I just thought I should tell you. Why did you offer to help in the first place?”

He shrugged. Something about the gesture felt off, less cocksure than his usual self. “Because it felt right.”

“But do you want to do it? Do you even know what raising a child means?”

“Do you?”

No, you didn’t. You might have even less knowledge of the subject than Ransom, weird as that seemed. You hadn’t said you wanted to have the baby, though. You weren’t sure what you wanted.

“Do you want me to drop you off at a clinic? Because we can end this now.” Something about the way he’d said it made it seem as if he was talking about more than just the pregnancy.

“That’s not what I meant.” You whispered.

Edifices were replaced by trees as Ransom drove on. It was easy to focus on the changing view, now that he wasn’t talking to you anymore. You had broken one of his unspoken rules: never get emotional around him. You knew he wasn’t in it for something as trivial as feelings, but now with the pregnancy thing you thought… Well, you weren’t sure what you thought.

The rest of the trip went by in silence, seeming to take forever in spite of the scenery flying by. By the time you arrived at your destination you were disheartened – lucky you that the house Ransom parked in front of was the stuff murder mystery fiction dreams were made of.

Harlan’s mansion had been plucked from one of his books, it had to have been. With its red bricks and the Gothic Revival style, it looked like it’d been taken straight out of “Around the Corner and Down the Lane”. It was a magnificent, giant, mysterious house you could easily imagine multiple murders happening inside.

It was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen.

Ransom left the car, slamming the door shut on his way out. You had to hurry after him to get to the porch as he was knocking on the door.

You didn’t have to wait long to hear sounds coming from the other side. There were footsteps against a wooden floor and the shuffling of keys, and then time seemed to slow down. When you woke up that morning, you’d never have thought you would end up meeting Ransom’s family by the end of the day. Were they anything like him? What would they think of you? And what would they think about the thing? You weren’t going to talk about it today, but still…

The door opened, revealing a slim woman with an old fashioned bob-cut. She looked confused when she saw Ransom, and even more when she spotted you. She opened her mouth, but didn’t get the chance to say anything.

“Hey, Frannie,” Ransom greeted. If you didn’t know him better, you’d assume he was being friendly. “Take this for me, would you?”

He removed his coat with the speed you’d come to expect from him when it came to taking off his clothes and shoved the mass of fabric into her arms. He walked inside, brushing past her, ignoring the outraged look on her face. You followed after, and her expression was no kinder towards you. It wasn’t the first time someone got mad at you for something Ransom did, but what were you to do? It wasn’t as if you could control him.

As Ransom walked through an arch on the left and the woman scurried through a door to the right, you stood on the spot right in front of the entrance. The gargoyles sculpted in the wood of the stair railing paralyzed you, the lights from the ornate chandelier blinded you, and the memories of books read long ago, hiding under the blankets with a flashlight when you were supposed to be sleeping came rushing back to you. This was much more than you had been expecting.

The inside of the house was dark and sinister like the outside, but there was a sense of warmth you hadn’t anticipated. The soft lights, the lavish rugs, and the numerous trinkets scattered about gave it a lived in feeling. The decoration somehow split the difference between “home” and “haunted house” right down the middle.

Why was it that Ransom didn’t like visiting his grandfather again?

“What are you standing around for?”

Speak of the devil…

Your forced your feet to move and followed him deeper into the house. Something inside you screamed at you to just ditch Ransom and this stupid dinner party to explore by yourself, because you got the feeling he would end up dragging you to a place that looked much more boring. You needn’t have worried – the living room was adorned in much the same way as the hall, cluttered and discordant and fascinating. Every piece of decor seemed to selected based on its own merits rather than any common theme or style, but it somehow all worked together.

You had started making your way to a windowsill, from where a model of a carousel with fish instead of horses called to you, when a voice stopped you in your tracks – a voice you had never heard before.

“Who’s that?”

You whirled around to see a man standing just a few feet away from Ransom. The age was about right, and with the two standing so close together, it was hard to deny the similarities between them.

“That’s my date,” Ransom said with a shrug.

“Date? You brought a date?”

“Nice, Richard. We don’t want to make her feel too welcome.”

At that, the older man looked back at you with a grin that would be charming if not for the utter shock reflected in his eyes.

“Hey, there,” he greeted, extending a hand “Richard Drysdale, father of this,” he glanced behind himself to look at Ransom, who was busy messing with a figurine in the mantelpiece “rascal.”

You offered your hand to him (his handshake was strong, professional) and introduced yourself.

“I gotta say, this is really something else,” Richard said “Ransom hasn’t brought any girls home since high school.”

“I bring girls home all the time, I just don’t live with you anymore.”

The meaning of his words didn’t go unnoticed. You already knew he fucked other women on the side – or rather, there was no “side”; you guys weren’t a thing, and it wasn’t as if you only put out for him – but Richard understood him as well.

“Is that the kind of thing you say in front of your date? I thought we taught you better than this.”

“No, Richard. We really didn’t.”

You looked to the source of the voice, and spotted the woman who had to be Ransom’s other progenitor.

“Linda,” she extended her hand to you, but not a smile. Her handshake was even stronger than her husband’s.

Richard joined his son by the fireplace to fiddle with a pewter box, looking downright chastised. Ransom, for his part, seemed to be fighting the urge to laugh.

He had said his family was a mess, and that he found it all terribly fun. Up until now, you weren’t really sure you believed him.

“Whatever this” Linda pointed from her son to you, then back to him again “is about, I hope it ends soon, for your sake.” The last bit, she’d said while looking at you, then she left through a different archway than she’d entered from.

It seemed Ransom had inherited the charm from his father, but the ability to put the fear of God in those who crossed him came from his mother.

“Who else is here?” Ransom asked once Linda was out of earshot.

“Mostly everyone is in the library,” Richard replied, pinching the bridge of his nose, all the former friendliness leaving him like a deflating balloon “your grandfather locked himself in his office with the nurse, and who knows where they put Wanetta. Meg’s not coming.”

“What excuse did Joni come up with?”

“Schoolwork. Essays, whatever. I mean, it’s a Friday, it could wait.”

“She’s going to spend at least half of the evening doing drugs with a friend, easy.”

“Dope.”

Ransom snorted “Like she’s shooting up.”

Richard fixed his son with a disbelieving look. “No. Dope is weed. Dope was weed just yesterday.”

“It used to be.” Upon seeing the defeated expression on his father’s face, Ransom shrugged “World’s passing you by, man.”

That didn’t help. Richard looked back to the pewter box, turning it on his fingers like he was trying to find the best angle to see his reflection. Ransom stared at him for a second longer, then stepped away from the fireplace and exited through the same way his mother had.

He didn’t call you, so you assumed you weren’t needed at the moment, but then, what were you going to do with yourself – watch a man have an existential crisis?

You didn’t have to wait long to find out. You had been standing there, watching Richard sigh to himself for maybe a minute when three other people entered the room. The first was the woman who had opened the door for you; the second, a younger woman, with something almost doe-like about her, and the third…

Well, Harlan Thrombey didn’t need introductions – at least, not to you.

He was the first to speak, looking at the woman Ransom had called Frannie. “Seems like you aren’t going mad, Fran. Unless we all are, which is possible. Can you see her too?” And at that he turned to the other woman, who smiled at him. It was hard to tell whether her smile was fond or embarrassed.

Then, his eyes landed on you.

“Since you’re just standing around with this idiot,” He said. Richard gave a tight smile and tapped his fingers against the mantelpiece “I’m going to guess idiot number two left you to fend for yourself?”

This wasn’t the kind of welcome you’d expect when meeting your not-boyfriend’s family, but Ransom was eccentric, so maybe his relatives were as well. Maybe it was a rich people thing.

“I’m used to it, when it comes to Ransom” you offered.

Harlan grinned at you, but then again, he had been smiling since he entered the room. There was something very Ransom-like about both expressions.

He ambled to you, extending a hand which you rushed to grasp. His smile grew, but maybe that wasn’t good.

“I’m Harlan, the proprietor of this” he gestured to the room with both hands “little menagerie of horrors. And these,” he turned to the women “are Fran, my housekeeper, the only one who can keep this mess in order,” the woman who’d opened the door smiled and raised her hand in greeting, but she still seemed suspicious of you “and Marta, my caretaker. Heaven sent, I would already be dead if not for her.”

Marta had smiled at you as she was introduced, but frowned at the last comment.

“Don’t say that,” she admonished “you’re strong like a horse, you’re going to live for a million years, I’m sure.”

Harlan whimpered theatrically and extended a hand as if trying to grasp at something.

“Marta, is that you? It’s so dark, I can’t see. Oh, is that a light at the end of the tunnel?”

“Really? You’re impossible.” Marta huffed, and Harlan laughed.

They seemed close. Close enough that they’d forgotten all about you in their banter.

Once he was done with his joke Harlan turned back to you.

“I promise you I don’t get any more charming, but you get used to it with time.”

Time. Did he think you’d get to be around long enough to get used to anything there?

“Let’s... get this party started,” he said with a wink “I don’t ask you your name because I’m dying to see how my grandson will introduce you, and I don’t want to get attached.”

That answered that question.

You followed the party of three into another living room(parlor?), then another(fainting room? How many rooms for sitting could one person need?), then finally to what you presumed was the library (that could easily double as a living room), given the floor to ceiling bookcases in every wall that wasn’t occupied by a window. The room was large, large than any room in a house needed or had a right to be, and there were so many books on so many shelves there was no way Harlan would’ve been able to read them all, even accounting for his age.

Despite the exorbitance, the place was cozy and interesting, not at all a monochromatic art installation behemoth the likes of the Kardashian-West mansion (Which you didn’t care about in the slightest… one of your coworkers had shown you the pictures, it was all), the sort of thing you expected from people with too much money and no sense of comfort. The library was furbished with plush seats, nooks where one could hide in to read in peace, even a mezzanine, and– was that a sculpture inspired by “A Thousand Knives”?! Excessive, very excessive, and somehow also really cool. You were sure you could spend hours perusing books and examining baubles, but there were other people already in the room, and you had been raised too well to just ignore them when it was obvious you had already seen them.

Linda leaned against an open window, balancing an unlit cigarette between two fingers, and looking out, as if debating whether or not to have a smoke and whether or not doing so inside. There were a man and a woman on a pair of matching high-backed chairs, looking nervous and annoyed respectively as another woman talked at them, and a teenager speaking to Ransom in between typing things on his phone. He was the first to notice you’d entered the room and he directed a brief glare to you before his eyes landed on Marta.

“Well, no need to stand up or anything,” Harlan spoke from behind you, waving his hand as he passed.

“Dad, plea-” the sitting man began, but he stopped once he saw you. After a moment of confused staring by both parties, he looked back to Harlan “Is that-”

“Don’t know; she came with your nephew.”

All eyes were now on Ransom. He was enjoying the attention, if the stupid smug grin on his face was any indication.

“I brought a date. I figured I had to be the first to do it, since Meg thinks all sex is rape and Jacob’s an incel,” that earned him an elbow in the gut, which he barely reacted to.

“A date? Boohoo,” Harlan spoke, and you almost winced “I expected something more exciting from you.”

“Would you rather she was a notorious diamond thief and I brought her here to steal every red penny you own, old man?”

“That would be more on brand.”

“That’s it,” Marta said, placing her hands on his shoulders and directing him to an armchair in front of the knife sculpture “I’m putting you to bed earlier, abuelo.”

“Not without me throwing a tantrum, you’re not.”

Ransom’s uncle looked back and forth from his father, then to you, then to his nephew, before settling on you and standing up. He picked up a cane that was resting beside the armchair and wobbled toward you, smiling.

“Hello. I’m Walt, it’s a pleasure to meet you…”

You gave him your name, exchanged proper greetings, shook hands; his fingers were trembling slightly, but the length of the hand shake was very appropriate.

“I hope you like it here so far. Any friend of Ransom’s is welcome here.”

“You say that because you never met any of my friends.”

“You know what Ransom,” Walt turned gave him a sarcastic smile “I’m surprised you have any friends at all. You sure you not paying her to be here?”

You didn’t know exactly what it was that Walt had said, but something had set Ransom off.

“Why, you want a round with her? Don’t think you could afford it right now, pal.”

Walt’s lips were still pulled up into a smile, but his pupils were darting from side to side like he was searching for escape routes. That was fair, so were you.

“Don’t speak to my husband that way,” the woman who hadn’t said a single word to or even acknowledged your presence so far, gripped the seat’s armrest as she seethed at Ransom “it’s not his fault that-”

At that she fell silent and turned to Harlan, who was looking at everything with mild interest.

“Actually, you don’t have a job either, do you Donna?” Ransom continued. You knew that look; he was getting steam and you didn’t want to know what would come next.

“I think we’re all just a little stressed with everything that’s been going on,” the woman who had been silent so far – Ransom’s other aunt, you presumed, the one he wanted to suck his dick – mercifully cut in before he could get anything else out “I think we need to roll things back, maybe start over? I can go back to the car and get my crystals so we can do a-”

As if on cue, Fran entered again, a tray with a wine bottle and glasses in hand. She left everything on a coffee table, then walked by Marta, whispering something that convinced the younger woman to move to a more secluded corner of the room with her.

Donna perked up when the drink touched the table, and, smiling the well practiced smile of a hostess who did her duty with no joy, she started pouring drinks and handing them around. When one of the glasses was placed in your hands, you weren’t sure what to do. You rolled the stem in your fingers, pondering as the other adults drank and Jacob sulked.

“So,” Joni began, giving you an easy grin “you and Ransom have known each other for…”

As she trailed off, Linda chuckled, but she wasn’t looking at you.

“Eight months, give or take.” You answered.

The answer seemed to surprise her “Eight months? And how long have you been dating?”

“Oh, I’m not...” you turned to Ransom for help, but he was looking at his nails as if they were the most fascinating thing in the World or as if he really didn’t want to take part in this conversation “I’m not sure. We haven’t exactly made things official.”

It looked like she was fighting to keep her smile in place “And you met-”

“What do you do?” Linda interrupted, still looking out the window “Do you actually have a job or are you just expecting to scam someone here?”

You turned to Ransom; he had placed a hand over his heart and was looking at his mother as if he found her comment deeply offensive.

You hadn’t thought about what you would say if Ransom’s family decided to grill you, deciding it would be best not to overthink things as he’d suggested. A question about your job was expected – it was just harder to process it when it had been asked in such a manner.

“No, I- I’m an assistant editor at Little, Brown and Company.”

There was a splashing sound, and you looked just in time to see Walt trying to rub off a stain from his sweater with one hand, while holding his wine glass with trembling fingers. When he noticed you looking at him, he offered a stiff smile.

That was the wrong answer, it seemed. It was the truth, of course, but the reactions around you were discouraging. Linda huffed, Harlan chuckled, Joni nodded mechanically, Donna seethed as she wiped at her husband’s clothes with a napkin, Walt trembled, Jacob’s scowl deepened, the sound coming from Fran and Marta’s corner of the room ceased, and Ransom’s grin was the widest you had ever seen on his face.

“Really?” Linda asked, now focused on her son “Where do you find those people?”

He laughed. “What? I’m very charming.”

“I need to use the restroom,” you squawked. You didn’t really need the restroom, just any place other than there.

“I’ll show you where it is,” Marta said, as quickly as you had. Her eyes told you everything: she was also dying to get out.

You handed your drink over to Ransom and followed Marta out of the room, the two of you almost running down the hallway.

She led you to a lavatory, where you turned on the faucets to cover the sound of you whimpering and heaving inside. After splashing your face with some water, you exited the room to find her still waiting for you outside. She offered an apologetic smile.

“So…” you started, not sure of how to best broach the subject. Good thing she already knew what you wanted to get at.

“They aren’t always like this,” she said “they’re all good people, but things have been a little… you know how it can be with family, right?”

You nodded. “Yeah, it’s just a little… seems kind of a bad time for me to be showing up.”

“No, I think it helps. They are better behaved when there’s company.”

But that’s true of everyone.

“Ransom didn’t tell you about…? Anything?” She asked.

“No. He said it’d be fine.”

Marta’s expression was of doubt, but she didn’t say anything to discredit him.

“Are you okay to go back?”

“Yeah, I’ll be okay.”

She nodded and stared leading you back to the room.

“They’re good people, but can be a little much sometimes. You get used to it with time.”

“You- I’m sorry if I’m overstepping, but you don’t look that used to them yourself.”

She shrugged “I guess I just… haven’t been around long enough.”

The scene you returned to was different from the one you had run from. Linda had abandoned the window and reclined on one of the armchairs. Richard had made his appearance, leaning against a bookcase behind Linda; He kept a respectful (perhaps even safe) distance between the two. Walt, Jacob and Donna were squeezed in on a single couch, looking like they’d just been plucked from a stuffy family portrait. Joni lounged on a window seat, leaning her chin on one hand and swirling her wine with the other. Fran was nowhere to be found. Harlan, sat atop the chair in front of the halo of knives, looking every bit the magnanimous patriarch. Ransom had taken his place on an armchair, just beside another empty one. On his other side was a small table with two empty wineglasses. His legs were crossed and he had a wide, satisfied smile that you knew well – so you knew it couldn’t mean anything good.

You sat beside him and angled your body in a way you felt would rend a pretty picture, because that seemed to be the game they were playing, while Marta made her way to a corner and stood there, doing the most not to draw attention to herself. Smart.

“So,” Harlan began as you settled into your spot “I think you were telling us about your career?”

“Yes, but there really isn’t much else to say.” Unless they wanted to be bored, that is. You had more tales of spotting typos than of interesting literary works.

“You said you worked at Little, Brown and Co?” He asked and you nodded “How long have you been there?”

“Two years. It’s about all the experience I have working in the field, other than internships in college.”

“Ah, College.” He grinned, but didn’t explain what he found so amusing “What did you major in?”

“English literature, with a minor in communications.”

“Good, good. Topical. You two bonded over books, then?”

You turned to Ransom, who was looking at you with a lazy smile. You had never told him about your job, let alone what you had studied in college.

“Yep,” he said. You two talked about books sometimes, but you didn’t think those conversations had helped with any bonding.

“You know, I think it’s so good to see Ransom has found a positive influence,” Joni said. The affectation in her voice and mannerisms was suddenly much more noticeable, and it felt like an omen.

You turned to Ransom. His lips were pressed together into a thin line and his chest was swelling like he was gathering oxygen for a screaming match or something worse. The longer you spent around these people, the more you were convinced he wasn’t the only one who liked to needle others.

“Honestly, I-” the words tumbled out of your mouth and you could only hope they were the right ones “I’m not sure if he’s influenceable.”

Ransom was still scowling and for a moment you were afraid you had only made things worse, but then his mouth opened and he let out the air in his lungs with a low chuckle. Much better than being in the middle of another argument.

Fran walked back into the room before anyone else could start a scene and announced that dinner was ready. Apparently Harlan hadn’t been exaggerating when he said she was the only one who kept his house in order – all around you tense shoulders relaxed and frowning brows smoothed with the promise of a meal. You must’ve looked happy as well, given you hadn’t eaten a thing since lunch and your stomach was starting to hurt. There was also (and you wished the thought hadn’t run through your mind, but it did) the chance that Ransom and his family would be much less likely to speak if their mouths were stuffed with meatloaf.

You wished you didn’t have those sort of intrusive thoughts about people you had just met, but they weren’t making it easy for you. Marta had alluded to a “family situation” that had left them on edge, but you had never seen people react this badly to strangers. This was the stuff or nightmares, or at least of “Florida Man” news reports. They were supposedly worse when there wasn’t company? How much worse could they get?

Ransom had told you not to worry about dining with his family. Maybe he was so used to them he didn’t think the way they acted was all that strange; maybe he knew his family would behave the way they had but he decided not to warn you for purposes of fuckery; it didn’t matter all that much. The worst thing was knowing that they sucked as hard as he liked to say they did. If you chose to go on with your pregnancy, this is what you would be bringing your child into.

[myriadimagines]

congrats on reaching your milestone, sam!! could i please get a stranger things drabble with prompt 25 &/or 32? i’m she/her, 19, & straight. i have black hair that i change up when i get bored, & rn it’s chopped off just above my shoulders & permed. my eyes always change from blue to green, so idk what color they are. i’m 5’5”, but platform docs 👀 every day is a struggle between an obnoxious hawaiian shirt & mom jeans or head to toe black, but most of the time i go with something edgy. (1/2)

i can be kind of a hothead—my friends have told me before that they have the feeling i’d be scary when mad & they’re not wrong, but they’ll never see that bc i love them too much—but i laugh at everything. i’m always making jokes, but sometimes my sarcasm can be too much. i fall in love easily w ppl who aren’t good for me. i would do anything for my friends, but they hate riding in my car bc i drive reckless. i love listening to 80s music—ranges from blondie to poison—, skating, & writing. (2/2)

Characters: Reader x Billy Hargrove

Warnings: alcohol consumption

Prompt: 25. “I hope you know I wouldn’t do this for anyone else.” & 32. “Oh God… I think I’m in love with you.”

Word Count: 466

A/N: thank u so much lee ella!!! i hope you like your ship 💗

want to request a ship drabble? Read this post!

Billy grunts as he deposits you into the passenger seat of his car, rolling his eyes as you struggle to sit upright through your drunken laughter. He leans down, pushing you deeper into the car to make sure he doesn’t close the car door on you, before making his way to the drivers seat. He snatches his keys out of the pocket of his leather jacket, igniting the engine. You lean closer to Billy, reaching out to grip his arm as you whine, “Billy, come on, I want to keep partying!” 

Billy scoffs, brushing you off of him as the car sputters into life. Looking over his shoulder before backing out of the driveway, Billy responds, “No way. You have one more drink and you might pass out. You’re going home.” 

You frown, folding your arms across your chest before slinking down in your seat, and Billy chuckles slightly at your pout. You watch as Billy drives away from the house party the two of you had attended, teenagers sprawled out on the lawn as they chug beer from their plastic cups. Leaning your head back, you declare, “You’re so boring!” 

“You’ll thank me later.” Billy bluntly replies, adjusting the radio to find a good song. You sit upright, swatting his hand away, much to his annoyance, as you take over the radio. You finally find a good station, and grin as you begin to nod your head along to the beat, joining in on the lyrics. You nudge Billy with your elbow, trying to get him to sing along with you, but Billy doesn’t budge. A tiny smile cracks through his expression as you stick your tongue out at him, before you lean your arm against the open window. You watch the streetlights blur above you, the wind tangling through your short hair as the only sounds that fill up the quiet night is Billy’s car engine and your music.

“Thanks, Billy.” you suddenly say, and Billy momentarily takes his eyes off the road to look at you. You suddenly feel embarrassed as you meet his gaze, and it suddenly dawns on you that Billy Hargrove is driving you home. The boy almost everyone in school fawns over, and the guy you’ve been crushing on ever since meeting him. Trying to be nonchalant, you quickly clarify, “You know, for taking me home.”

Billy looks away, turning the car around the corner. Tapping his finger against the steering wheel, he mutters, “I hope you know I wouldn’t do this for anyone else.”

You stare at Billy, who stares straight ahead at the road. Your heart hammers in your chest as you blink at him, taken aback by his comment, and before you can stop yourself, you blurt, “Oh God… I think I’m in love with you.”

[themarauderstheoutsidersandpeggy]

Your dog keeps pooping on my lawn AU where you got off on the wrong foot and seemed like an ass to your neighbors (the marauders) and Sirius is the dog. -🦕🔱

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I LOVE IT

You’d been living in this culdesac for almost three years

You had a wonderful little life there

And your neighbors were all elderly so partially deaf so you were able to blast music aLL night

You definitely played some bops at 3am during all your existential crises

But then one day

One of your elderly neighbors falls while gardening :(

You help her up and you get her an ambulance

Sadly, her family decides that it’s time for her to move out of that house and in with them

You were glad that she was getting care but what were u gonna do without Gladys??

You baked her cookies as a farewell and made sure to scare away all future customers of her house to preserve her memories

(You dressed in a chicken suit and snuck into the basement and then made strange noises at the potential buyers until they left)

But these three young men came in one day

And you could tell by the first second you saw them that they would not run from a giant screaming chicken

They were tough

You didn’t even try the suit you just glared at them from inside your house on your couch

Sirius absolutely saw you and subtly pointed you out to the others

“What are they glaring at us for? What did we do?”

“Nothing?? Yet??”

So they’re like alright fine ur gonna be a jerk to us we’ll be a jerk to u

One day you’re out gardening

Because living around old ladies changes you

And you’ve just planted these pretty lilies

;)

You are excite

And then you go back inside to shower off

And out of your window

You see a huge black dog

Your first thought is like ah yes pupper will take and keep forever

But then

That little hecker

>:( He poops on ur lilies >:(

Ur like my lilies!!!

The dog runs off and you let it go because whatever fertilizer is good right

Jesus

The next day you’re checking on your poor lilies

And you notice that it’s happened again??

Meanwhile Remus and James are giving Sirius like ten laxatives a day-

You’re like oooh imma find this doggo and find its owner and give them hEcK

Almost two weeks after it starts happening

Two weeks of consistent lily contamination

You catch the black dog in the act

He looks terrified

You watch him run back to your new neighbor’s house and you’re like I knEw they were trouble

You march over there and see that the dog has escaped into the backyard

So you march over to the front door and knock all angry

One of the young men opens the door after a minute and you see the dog sitting behind him literally smirking you are so upset

“Your dog is ruining my lilies. Every single day. What do you even feed it, how does it manage to poop that much every single day, and why always on my lilies??”

You hear someone snort in the background 

You’re like I’m being mocked

The one at the door is like look lady

You’ve been glaring at us since the day we moved in

“Hostility is met with hostility, we told-er, trained our dog to poop in your yard.”

You are so lost for words

You have honestly no idea what to say because??

What are you supposed to say to that??

“Okay, listen. We’ll cut you a deal. You stop hating us for no reason and we’ll stop our dog from pooping on your lawn.”

“But now I just have more reason to hate you?”

“Say goodbye to your Lilies.”

“oKAY OKAY FINE”

I

I don’t really know what this was

I don’t really remember writing any of it

But I hope that just makes it better

I have a different version of this same prompt that I might end up posting sometime

That I also don’t remember writing

Have a nice day

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[isolctions]

@thvndcrstrvck​ asked: ultimate relationship tag for mars & teyani :~)

relationship tag*

*only accepting for established ships. (domo gets a pass bc i luv them <3)

disagreements.

who is more likely to raise their voice? — i feel like they do an equal amount of voice raising. the only real difference is that i feel like mars is more loud in tone & the type to go “i’m not yelling!!!!!” whereas teyani’s yelling takes on more of a stern tone. who threatens to leave but never actually does? — mars, prbly. who actually keeps their word and leaves? — teyani. she absolutely served him papers while he was at work. who trashes the house? — nobody, tf? they’re too old for that shit. do either of them get physical? — i...would think not. because teyani is extremely passive & if mars would’ve tried it, she would have left earlier. so no. how often do they argue / disagree? — it prbly wasn’t often in the beginning of their relationship, but one of those “when it happens it’s messy” type of arguments. now, best believe it’s an argument every two hours as their relationship is incredible strained. who is the first to apologize? — teyani.

sex.

it’s me having no idea what their sex life is like bc we haven’t plotted out this far, #help. they did the do until they no longer liked each other, now they don’t.

family.

we also didn’t plot out this far. but i mean, teyani having her daughter is canon so she and ines were/are a package deal (like was she pregnant before this relationship??? after??? was ines already born??? chile, idk.) and i’m sure mars was cool with helping her while they were together. mmcht.

affection.

who likes to cuddle? — teyani is a big cuddler. who is the little spoon? — truthfully, mars! as much as she likes being held, she also likes to do the holding. you never know when ur partner needs that kinda comfort. who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? — while doing this, i kind of have this idea in my head that neither would like to inconvenience the other when they’re doing smthn important. but if they’re watching a movie on the couch or some shit, teyani might be the one to start sneaky touching. who struggles to keep their hands to themselves? — boffum. depends on the mood. how long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? — if they’re not already asleep, maaaaaaybe an hour? hour and a half max? who gives the most kisses? — teyani. what is their favorite non-sexual activity? — teyani likes hand holding. mars might like doing smthn hands on like helping cook or some shit. where is their favorite place to cuddle? — the practical places, such as the couch while unwinding or in bed before going to sleep. who is more likely to playfully grope the other? — maybe mars. how often do they get time to themselves? — not mf often!! which is why teyani tries making the most out of it whenever they’re around each other.

sleeping.

who snores? — mars. do they share a bed or sleep separately? — they once shared a bed, but now they sleep separately. either in different rooms or one is in a different location all together. if they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? — used to cozy up until one steals a blanket or gets hot. who talks in their sleep? — prbly teyani. what do they wear to bed? — um...pajamas? are either of your muses insomniacs? — it would more than likely be teyani. it can be hard to sleep sometimes when spirits keep bugging you at all hours. can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? — nope. do they wrap their limbs around each other or stay side by side? — it prbly was a slow transition from being wrapped around each other to laying back to back. real divorcee shit. who wakes up with bed hair? — um, mars keeps his hair short & teyani got a bonnet or a scarf on. who wakes up first? — teyani’s always been an early bird. plus she was prbly already up anyway. who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? — NO ONE!! get ur ass up to eat! like, they’ll make a PLATE for the other but you better get tf up if you wanna eat it. what is their favorite sleeping position? — teyani tends to lay on her side curled up, while i feel like mars is more of a ‘lay on the stomach sprawled out like a starfish’ kinda guy. who hogs the sheets? — mars. so selfish. do they set an alarm each night? — ya, they got jobs. can a television be found in their room? — i wanna say, like...tv’s in bedrooms are so common now...but also...i feel like no??? idk i’m making shit up who has nightmares? — mars? i mean he for the streets, so i’m sure he has nightmares? who has ridiculous dreams? — teyani has visions that mars would prbly write off as ridiculous dreams, ergnerjk. who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? — i said mars so it’s the law now what time is bed time? — uh? idk? 11pm maybe? any routines / rituals before bed? — bathing & brushing teeth. teyani does skin care and moisturizes and twists her hair. mars does...whatever he does...idk him like that who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? — depends on how much sleep they got

work.

who is the busiest? — they both have busy work schedules, considering they both have full time careers. but whereas teyani has more of a schedule, mars has the most unpredictable hours & his lil’ hannah montana ass double life. who rakes in the highest income? — hannah marstana. are any of your muses unemployed? — nope. who takes the most sick days? — maybe teyani? i mean she has a one year old? who is more likely to turn up late to work? — i feel like neither, but again, it would likelier be teyani. who sucks up to their boss? — eye roll. i think teyani did at first. what are their jobs? — computer analyst / medium. surgeon / liar. do their muses enjoy or despise their careers? — nah, i think they both enjoy it. are your muses financially stable? — with or without mars, she good!!

home.

who does the washing? — teyani. who takes out the trash? — boffum. who does the ironing? — teyani bc she already does laundry bc she likes it. who does the cooking? — boffum. who is more likely to burn down the house just trying? — HMMMMMMMidk. who is messier? — teyani is honestly more prone to being messy, but at least she cleans up! who leaves the toilet roll empty? — i feel like men always do this. so i’m choosing mars. who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? — teyani. but again, she goes back for it later. who forgets to flush the toilet? — ew, no one. who is the prankster around the house? — the spirits that follow teyani around. i’m not joking. who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? — teyani. who mows the lawn? — they pay somebody to do it, idk. who answers the phone? — whoever is near the damn phone? duh? who does the vacuuming? — they do their fair share. who does the groceries? — both? they’ll go together if it’s smthn specifically they want but it’s mostly just whoever calls the other and goes “hey what do u want” who takes longest to shower? — teyani if she’s washing her hair, but mostly mars. who spends the most time in the bathroom? — teyani! she has big hair! and glowing skin!

misc.

is money a problem? — no. teyani gets paid fairly well, mars is a surgeon, and also has...extracurricular activities. how many cars do they own? — teyani has to take a train to her job, so i guess one overall? maybe two if she has to go out somewhere? do they own their home or do they rent? — owned, but teyani now rents an apartment. do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? — closer to a coast. do they live in the city or in the country? — city, babey. do they enjoy their surroundings? — i mean, it’s what they’re used to. what’s their song? — ..........we’ll come back to this. what do they do when they’re away from each other? — teyani just works, really. she has a few hobbies that she tends to. has ines to care for. mars i feel like is the errand runner, and would spend his day like, doing Something. where did they first meet? — this is literally killing me i’m never doing this for a brand new ship again how did they first meet? — UHHHH whatever let’s go with they were set up. who spends the most money when they’re out shopping? — neither? at least, not intentionally? if so, it’d be on practical things like groceries. who’s more likely to flash their assets? — neither. who finds it amusing when the other trips over? — teyani. like mars is so serious...when he does smthn dumb, you just have to laugh! any mental issues? — i mean, teyani had a bout of postpartum once. who’s terrified of bugs? — not terrified, but teyani’s not exactly fond of them. who kills the spiders around the house? — mars, while teyani fearfully leads them outside. their favorite place? — the crib! who pays the bills? — boffum. do they have any fears for their future? — they are literally in the middle of getting divorced. maybe if one of them died or smthn? who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? — mars, when he feel like bein sweet. who uses up all the hot water? — mars. which is fine. who’s the tallest? — prbly mars. but teyani isn’t exactly short, either. she 5′7. who’s more likely to just randomly hop in the shower with the other? — teyani. who wanders around in their underwear? — neither. who sings the loudest when singing along with the radio? — teyani, but mostly to be annoying. what do they tease each other about? — teyani sneak-helps gianna make fun of mars abt literally anything. who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense sometimes? — i mean...they both dress kinda basic i think? do they have mutual friends? — shit, prbly. who crushed first? — teyani. any alcohol or substance related problems? — i don’t...think so? who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? — uh, maybe mars? who swears the most? — boffum.

[shadowthrone-ammanas]

Prompt: Although powerful, The Snatcher still cannot use his powers forever. Unfortunately for him, his contractually obligated BFF wants to know the extent of his shapeshifting. Hopefully he doesn’t get stuck.

Thank you for the request! Also, 2 drabbles in one day because I wanted to and because I suddenly got 4 more requests today (yesterday by the time this posts, technically yesterday for me too because it’s 2am) one of which is the other drabble I just posted because I was hyped for it. So I wanted to make up a little ground on the massive amount of requests I have in my inbox. Also just because I was looking forward to writing this one today so I did.

Shapeshifting

According to Snatcher’s innate sense of time as well as his pocket watch, it as officially midnight now. Meaning everyone else on the ship except for the night crew should be asleep now so it was safe for him to come out.

He slid out through the cracks in the box, landing in him in the cargo bay. The doors out were locked of course but that was no problem for him. On the other side, he shifted his form to disguise himself as an owl. He’d have preferred to disguise as one of the crew but while he could mimic the seals’ shape, he was still a ghost and thus could only turn himself various shades of purple. So he had to make do with an owl shape and large coat with hood to cover himself.

The moon was full and bright when he finally made his way to the top deck and out into fresh air. The stars were pretty too of course. It had been a long time since he’d been away from the forest and seen the night sky like this… he should really try to do that more. Though it probably wasn’t smart; if Vanessa decided to attack while he was away… She probably wouldn’t, her attacks were few and far between and her most recent attempt was only a couple years ago. So it was probably fine and thus he could enjoy himself.

Except not even five minutes after he’d settled in one of the abandoned lawn chairs to look up at the sky, he sensed someone approaching. He glanced that way and… it was Hat Kid. Of course it was her, who else was insane enough to be up and about after midnight. He glanced away, pretending he wasn’t aware of her.

Thankfully she went right by him. … Or at least for a bit she did because she turned around and came right back after only getting a few feet away. As she stepped up right beside his chair, he pulled his hood down over his face in an attempt to hide his ghostly features. The owls had a tendency to be very anxious, hopefully she’d attribute his behaviour to a stronger version of that.

“Hello?” she said.

“U-uh hi kid,” he replied, perfectly mimicking an owl, layering on the anxiety a bit thicker than normal. He just wanted to be left alone, why was that so much to ask? “W-what are you… doing up so l-late?” That wasn’t too much, was it?

“I’m looking for a friend of mine. I figured he’d probably only come out when it’s dark because he’s a big old grump who doesn’t like people and he snuck abroad illegally.”

“W-well I haven’t seen him so…”

“I don’t need your help finding him because I already have, right Snatcher?” Damn it! “I saw your eyes before you covered them when you glanced my way as I approached. I was already suspecting it was you anyway because I knew you’d be out her tonight. I just wanted to mess with you a little. Your acting is very good though. You should talk to one or both of the directors about getting a role in a movie one day.”

Snatcher sighed as he gave up hiding his face and pulled his hood back up to look at her. “You found me, congrats,” he said in his normal voice but quieter in case anyone else was nearby who might hear.

She smiled at him. “You want to play a game?”

“No, I want you to leave me alone.” Which probably wasn’t going to happen but he could try, right?

“But I want to play.” She pouted at him as if that would ever sway him. “What if I blackmailed you into playing with me? I’ll tell the Captain about you and where to find you and then you’ll be in trouble.”

“You are aware right that I can just kill him if he tries to kick me off or anything else, right?”

“Yep, but you don’t want to bother with all that because then you’re going to have to deal with the whole crew and everyone else on the ship reacting to you in some way. And I know for a fact that at least all the seals would attack you, they’re too loyal to the Captain to not back him up in things. So instead of dealing with all that you can put up with playing with me for a few hours instead, how’s that sound?”

Would she really risk that though? … If it were anyone other than her, he’d have bet on this being a bluff but she was insane, unpredictable even, borderline feral. So… she might be willing to risk the lives of everyone on board in order to get him to play with her. Meaning he had a choice to make, say ‘no’ and deal with all that nonsense, ruining the vacation, or say ‘yes’ and play with her for a few hours.

With a sigh he stood up and discard the coat before morphing to be a clone of her. “Fine, I’ll play with you.” Hopefully the late hour would result in her getting sleepy soon so he wouldn’t have to up with her for long.

“Yes! I knew you’d see reason.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. What game do you want to play?” If it was anything too obnoxious, he’d refuse, peck the consequences.

“Hmm…” Hat Kid lifted hand to tap a finger to her chin in an exaggerated thinking pose. “I was planning on asking you to play ball with me but seeing you shapeshift like that has got me wondering just how much you can shapeshift.”

“That’s not a game.”

“We can make it a game though. We can play with the ball and every time you catch it you have to morph into a new shape, if you repeat one or don’t change, you lose and have to say something nice about me. I lose if I have to use any of my hats to catch the ball and then I have to say something nice about you before leaving you alone to be your grumpy old self. We can change the specifics of the game if we get bored. Sound like fun?”

What would happen if he won sure did, otherwise, no. But if he won fast, it’d be not a problem at all so… “All right fine.”

“Good! And no cheating otherwise you lose by default and we have to play something else after you say something nice about me. Cheating includes, throwing the ball overboard or anywhere that’s impossible for me to catch it, okay?” Well there went that plan.

Oh well, he’d just have to beat her fair and square, it couldn’t be that hard, could it? “Fine, just go get a stupid ball to play with already so we can get this over with.” He wanted to get back to relaxing and doing nothing.

Hat Kid smiled at him before running off. She returned with a purple bouncy ball that had his face on it, she was holding it as if to make sure he saw it. He almost asked her where she got it from but didn’t, mostly because that’s clearly what she wanted but also because he wasn’t in the mood and really didn’t care. He’d find out on his own time later and sue the pants off them for using his likeness without permission.

She tossed it at him and he caught it, morphing into a likeness of Mustache Girl as he did so. This was going to be easy.

 -

Except it wasn’t easy, not as a whole anyway. At the start it was because there were plenty of people he could morph into and just catching the ball was simple. He started running out of people to turn into after a short while though and had to think fast for something new each time the ball was thrown his way. One time he even morphed into a likeness of himself when he was alive, cringing internally as he did so and hating it.

After that was when he really started trying hard to beat her. He was not going to lose to her at a children’s game of catch that eventually turned into basically volleyball, with a pool between them instead of a net. Another reason he was so eager to win though was because shapeshifting was one of the more taxing forms of magic. It took a lot of energy to shift one’s entire shape into something new, especially so quickly. And the more he did it in rapid succession, the more it seemed to take out of him.

Eventually he had the thought to start morphing into fictional beings which saved him and opened a whole slew of new options. That there was no way he had enough energy to last long enough to get through. He needed to win now.

The ball was coming his way. He tried to morph as he moved towards it but… nope, he was out of energy. Instead he stumbled and lost balance, faceplanting into the deck instead. That’s part of the reason he hated walking around on legs, too easy to trip and fall. The ball hit on the head a second later, adding insult to injury. The only thing more humiliating than this moment was when he’d lost to Hat Kid after taking two EX potions. … Ugh, why did all his most humiliating moments involve Hat Kid?

He looked up as the sound of Hat Kid running around to him. She looked… concerned? “Are you okay?” she asked upon reaching him.

He groaned. “You won, please leave me alone now.”

“You fell and aren’t moving anymore, so no, I’m not leaving until you I know you’re okay.”

“I’m fine kid,” he said as he finally pushed himself upright. “I’m just out of energy.” He should not have agreed to that game. If he’d known it would’ve dragged on for about the hour or so it did, he wouldn’t have. “Shapeshifting isn’t easy to do.”

“Oh, sorry but… that means you’ll be okay with some rest?”

“Yes, now leave me be.”

“Still nope, you lost so you have to say something nice to me now. Also, I want to know what your shifted into because you’re adorable.”

Giving into her demands would probably be the quickest way to get rid of her. What could he possibly say that was nice about her though? … “Your top hat is decent as far as top hats worn by feral alien children go.”

“Well… I was hoping for something different but… thank you, I guess.”

“As for what my current form is, it’s Stitch from the movie Lilo and Stitch.” He’d chosen it at random but with Hat Kid being an alien, it was a fitting form to take.

“You’re going to have show me that movie later if it has something as cute as you are now in it. But are you stuck like that? I assume you are because otherwise you would’ve gone back to your normal shape by now, right?”

“Yes, I’m currently stuck and its your fault. So please just leave me alone now.” If he ate the soul of one of the passengers would anyone notice? That’d be the quickest way to regain his strength, he could use his current cuteness to disarm them too.

“Hmm… okay. But you want to go back into my room and rest for a bit. Since you’re like that, we could say you’re my pet, right? Since you look a lot like an animal. That way you don’t have to hide and stuff and no one should care that you didn’t buy a ticket.” That was fitting in a way she didn’t even understand.

“No, thanks. Just let me rest out here.” He’d slink back to his box later when the sun started getting close to rising. Until then he wanted to go back to staring up at the night sky.

“Uh… all right. But sorry about this, I didn’t know it would happen. I wouldn’t have forced you to do it if I had. So… see you later.” She patted him on the head before collecting the ball and finally running off.

For this drabble event.

[jennfercheck]

richie for the character thing <3

how i feel about this character:

hmmmm what can i say that i have not already said about richie tozier a thousand times before...he is a little frog eyed brat in birth control glasses. but he is MY little frog eyed brat in birth control glasses....i love him to pieces. 

all the people i ship romantically with this character:

eddie kaspbrak and also a good hair regimen..i know he needs it<3

my non-romantic OTP for this character:

i am firm believer that richie is a little bit in love with all of the losers and this is why he has such a good relationship with all of them. that being said.... richie/mike friendship is superior....u do not get more opposite than richie bouncing off the walls going off the rails crazy and mike just patting his shoulder and saying “cmon rich” and guiding him back home....like that’s beautiful 

my unpopular opinion about this character:

at this point all of my opinions about any IT character are unpopular but richie is not handy he is not equipped to be an adult he cannot mow a lawn and has to watch several youtube tutorials any time he has to fix something in his house and even then he gets overwhelmed and has to ask ben for help. he certainly can make a good grilled cheese tho :)

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon:

i wish stephen king didn’t write in all those racist jokes.....like what was the purpose actually. richie is funny and doesn’t have to insult and stereotype to make people laugh. and again this is why i have decided to take stephen’s rights away and claim every single member of the losers club as my own.

give me a character and ill break them down!

[peach-pops]

(🍙: 1/3) hello!! could i request a haikyuu romantic matchup? im bisexual(she/her), infp and pisces!! towards strangers, im a little extroverted because i want to seem approachable? towards my close friends, im that one mom friend™ if i don't really like a person, i distance myself by giving very short replies. im 168cm tall, with brown eyes, short black hair and round glasses and a little plump. i usually wear high waisted shorts or pants with an oversized shirt or hoodie and white sneakers.

some of my hobbies include drawing, digital and film photography, journalling and reading english and japanese literature too!! i like travelling and seeing new places, japanese food, sweets and desserts, stargazing and music (i listen to j-rock, musicals and bedroom pop and some 70s to 80s). my favourite song is probably fantasy by the oral cigarettes. i dislike loud noises and crowded spaces, bugs (except bees, they're okay), feeling anxious and insecure and high expectations ||  i would like a s/o who is smart, trustworthy, funny yet mature; someone i can share inside jokes and memes with and can understand subtle hints in our conversations without explicitly saying anything. also a s/o that can comfort me and make me feel safe whenever im around them. someone i can bring home to my parents and they would approve of (basing this of my irl crush 😳😳) thank you for doing this!! ♡♡

Based it off ur irl crush you say?? And yes bees are okay but any other bug HECK NO! Matchups are closed!

I ship you with Osamu!

You and Osamu are arguably the most healthy and chill relationship within the whole entire haikyuu universe. You two hardly ever fight, you both communicate needs/feelings, and there’s no one else who checks off all of his boxes except you. 

He doesn’t need a s/o who plays volleyball (if u do it’s a plus) but he admires how you have your own things your passionate about. 

Within the first few months of you two dating in high school, Osamu already knew he was in it for the long game and plans on marrying you. 

He wouldn’t tell Atsumu tho cause he doesn’t need the headache of his brother teasing him 

You both have been dating for so long to the point where he knows when you wanna leave a party or event just by the way you move your shoulders like godbless. Since you two have been together for so long, your families both know each other and Atsumu treats you like the younger sis he never had so that’s a major plus

Your parents would absolutely adore Osamu like respectful??? driven and hardworking?? caring??? yes yes and yes 

He always makes it a point to take you out on dates at least twice a week and it always starts with you two going to a new restaurant and the night ends with you both stargazing on your lawn 

( He tried to learn the constellations for you to show off but he gives up and gives them his own names. He even named a constellation after you after the brightest star pattern in the sky)

You love supporting him at his games cause you get to see a different side of him that is way more serious and intense but don’t worry, he always greets you with a kiss after his games 

You both planned that after university, you both will take some time to travel together and he doesn't mind where as long as it’s with you

[yievie]

whew! what’s up everyone! my name is crissy and yes, i am the clown who sent my account ask on anonymous last night. luv that for me! I GOT A COOL FAMILY ICON IM CRYING!!! now this is yi eun hye, better known as evelyn yi or evie, paging dr. sexy md don’t call her that though, she’ll kill you omg the second eldest princess of the four neglected korean princess sisters aka the mom friend sister or the buzzkill responsible sister. 

~`click anywhere here for a link to my app ~

under the cut i’m gonna throw some important personality and background stuff along with maybe? half-formed plot ideas? if not i’ll make a follow up post later, but pls like this plot if you wish to plot, i’ll try to come bother u. my ims are open hmu anytime (also bc im anxious af to b first message bc im BABY) and I ALSO have a discord located at quarantine queen#2918 where i’m usually v v v active. (lmk if u cant add me shoot me a message on here and ill fix it) ok imma shut up here is cranky daughter! ITS LONG SRRY

( pS: also if my blog is too hard to read just stick /mobile on the end of the url xx )

background 

the empress and emperor of korea had 5 kids, 4 daughters, 1 pampered son and evie was the second oldest daughter after dianna but like, she’s bossy and high strung and acts like the oldest anywayS so it doesn’t matter!

woo! however, korean tradition is rooted deeply in patriarchy and other backwards thinking,  >:(((( so evie’s parents basically pretended like their son was the only kid they had and sent evie and her 3 sisters off to swedish boarding school to ROT as they each turned 10 and forgot abt them while they groomed their son for the throne! thx mom n dad! luv u too! sdjlaksjd

during her time at boarding school evie was expected to not learn much of anything, not do anything spectacular, she wasn’t expected very good grades or to be smart or successful or anything bc that was Men’s Work and so evie did . . . THE EXACT OPPOSITE.

evie EXCELLED in school, straight a’s, top of her class, honors, ap valedictorian, which meant all nighters, nose bleeds at 2am from studying too hard, looking dead walking through the hallways, eating ramen 25/8, falling asleep w her face in her textbooks, getting bullied a lot for being a nerd and Not looking like her sisters and like...the creature from the black lagoon.

her parents, understandably, were not very happy with this but it wasn’t until she wanted to go to medical school that her parents were like FURIOUS. to them, women, esp the princesses, were only supposed to get married, have kids, THAT WAS IT. so evie wanting to be a doctor enraged them. STAY MAD!

they tried to have her engaged SO. MANY. TIMES. but she has a really repellent personality, she’s very kat stratford from 10 things i hate about you. and is rude and states her very liberal very socialist opinions often, dresses sloppy and hurts mens feelings a lot just for fun so they all went rUNNING from those match appointments! her parents literally are losing their minds they don’t know what to do w her theyre like god why did we give birth to the aNTICHRIST!?!?!?

not wanting anything to do with her parents, evie got into college and medical student on scholarship based on her own merit and skill. evie went to the seoul national university for 4 years then did a 2 year residency at the country’s top hospital, becoming one of the best on call heart surgeons there.

the korean media likes to clown on her A LOT! bc shes scary and angry and cares very little abt her appreance is A DOCTOR and not a princess really for the opposite reason they clown on dianna but evie does not really care she doesn’t care abt impressing people, just saving lives and proving people wrong. finger guns

but yes! thats what u missed on glee. evie was a heart surgeon in korea before being shipped off to thailand! shes v salty by the way ... even more than usual.

fun facts?

evie wears massive grandma glasses to see bc shes BLIND when shes in line with her sister people do not think she’s related and are like “OMG OMG THE PRINCESSES!!! BUY WHATEVER U WANT ON THE HOUSE I--oh? maam? uh? can we help u, ahjumma?” HELP

very dry, mean, will call you out on ur shit and hurt ur feelings probably. doesn’t really know how to Chill or have fun, stays out of drama and parties for the most part literally that old man that tells u to get off their lawn

LOVES HER SISTERS!!!! LOVES THEM!!! moms them and nags the FUCK out of them tho abt everything. wear a sweater its cold, drink water, dONT DO THAT GET DOWN FROM THERE, i told u to eat before u drank all that soju pabo!!!! skhaslkfh BUT SHE LOVES THEM VERY MUCH HER WOOOORLD the only people shes kind of nice to

as stated, has tried to been matched up before but has basically scared away all her matches by being A Lot and not polite or dainty and burping probably

her mom calls her all the time to talk abt how shes having a heart attack bc her second daughter is an unmarried, childless, spinster with a cat who is embarrassing her by being a doctor and being loud and obnoxious and outspoken against the royal heirarchy and right wing politics. evie just puts her on mute and lets her keeping yelling at no one for the next hour

loves beer, loves fried chicken, very unladylike, wears oversized sweaters and her hair messy and watches love island australia and the bachelor just to make fun of the people being in love and stupid i think secretly she kind of wants it but...thinks shes unlovable and will die before she says that shh

bisexual legend! cue mr and mrs yi screaming somewhere

not that it matters bc she cares little abt romance and sex and always put work and school before everything so everything touchy like that she either ends abruptly or stays the hell away from

never parties or goes out but when she does get really drunk gets very cute and touchy and happy there is one video on the internet of her like on a table ashdkh yikes 

is soft deep down just like *shrek voice* donkey, orges are like onions they have layers and u gotta get past a lot of them for her to get past her level 4 tragic backstory and into the soft, vulnerable part of her personality its nice i promise she is SQUISHY

weird plots???

best friend? im sure she has one somewhere. or friends at all? people who arent scared of her who shes nice to....mostly

enemies woo! hate her its very easy to hate her so do it

u want to do a daredevil thing like when matt shows up bleeding and dying or after a fight or something and she patches u up

just anyone need a doctor bc paging dr sexy md~

past loves? boyfriend? girlfriend? weird flings? weird tension unresolved stuff WOOO

ANYONE who broke her heart for the angst and drama

hit on her itll b funny

anyone who she was previously matched w who she scared off

someone shes currently trying to be matched or betrothed to GOOD LUCK

someone she has a crush on YIKES or vice versa

any of the college kids need a tutor? 

roommates? 

ANYTHING PLS HMU <333