#if you look at my health bar you will understand why I GASPED IN RELIEF and started semi-hysterically laughing when she FINALLY went down

[tmae3114]

GET LOREM IPSUMED

[jacksonroseroth]

~The Price~Chapter 16~

Moodboard made by @badwolf-in-the-impala none of the pictures are ours

~

When the clock hit midnight, Tristan had the bouncers clear the bar while he gathered the girls. Taddie was standing back, practically hiding in the hallway as she watched them. Her heart pounded as her fear and anxiety rose, kicking herself for letting one incident with Jack in nearly 3 years to shatter whatever confidence she’d built up. Ash glanced at her and saw that Taddie wasn’t really watching them, but staring at the end of the bar, listening. She saw the anxiety and guilt on her face, thinking it was all her fault and Ash knew she needed to be more accepting, at least of the brothers, if only for Taddie’s sake and to ease at least one burden she thought she had over her.

Once the bouncers locked the doors and began putting up the chairs, Tristan turned to the women behind the bar with a wide grin, clapping his hands together. As the girls all eyed him, he said, “Well…Not all of us have been properly introduced-My name is Tristan Price, I’m the owner of the bar. I wanted to come down tonight, personally, to deliver a few things. One-As you can tell, the bar is closing early tonight and will be closed from tomorrow until next Tuesday.”

It brought a roar of exclamations and protests from the women that made Tristan’s smile drop off his face in shock, assuming they would be grateful of the break. But had now understood why Thatcher insisted on a double check, triple bonus, as one of the girls, Natasha, called out, “You realize the checks you pay us with are fucking pathetic?! The tips we get working here is the only way we can survive! And we’re still paycheck to paycheck, most of us!”

“I, uh, I realize that, Tasha…And that’s why I really looked at the books, realized most of you have been with us for quite a while, honestly, with nothing to show for it, and I apologize on behalf of my father-I only took over the bar 4 years ago, and I should have paid more attention. So, with that being said--Ash, do you mind?” Tristan said, stepping up to Ash as he pulled an envelope from one breast pocket and handing it to her. She raised a brow at him, but took it, nonetheless, opening it to find several more envelopes, each with the name of one of the barmaids. Ash stole another glance at Tristan before she began handing them out as he pulled another envelope from his other breast pocket, a manila envelope that was thick with something. “So, you’ll still get the direct deposits for your paychecks. Um, but this is a separate paycheck and, um, this is a bonus for all the work you ladies do and what you have to go through. I was informed of what happened here in the last week and I’m going to seriously increase security to make sure you girls are safe.”

Tristan waited until every woman had an envelope in their hands before he opened the manila envelope and began handing out stacks of hundreds that made their jaws drop.

“5,000 cash each, tax free bonus. I understand some of you have young ones and some of you have family with health issues. I hope this helps, even a little bit…I, uh, I know we’re all aware of what-Who me and my brother are…And I want you to know that we’re not like our father. I know it’s a cliche to say, but we’re actually quite logical and rational. I admit, I didn’t take owning a bar that seriously, but I hope we can all try to work together and make this a better place for everyone? So, please-Go home, be with your families for Christmas.” Tristan said, giving them all a warm, hopeful smile as they all dug into their envelopes to read what their checks were, gasping and turning to the others as they whispered among themselves.

Taddie’s gaze had lifted and she watched the girls go from angry and annoyed, to surprised and stunned, to shocked, excited, and happy. It made her own smile grow a little more and she let out a sigh of relief as she leaned her temple against the doorframe of the hall. Thatcher slipped behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his face in her curls.

“Is that better, kitten? Are they going to be okay with not working for a week?” Thatcher whispered to her as she slid her hands over his arms, snuggling back against him. She closed her eyes with a soft sigh, then chuckled as she shifted to look up at him as she said, “You did this?”

“I made a few calls…I told you, I tell Tris everything. We understand each other--Sometimes, I think we’re the twins instead of him and Theo.” Thatcher said with a soft chuckle. Taddie giggled and turned in his arms, lifting on her toes to wrap her arms around his neck, burying her nose into his cheek as she whispered, “Thank you, Thatcher. That-That was way more than enough, but thank you, sweetheart.”

“Anything you need, kitten. Are you going to drive home with Ash?” He asked, kissing across her cheek as she pulled away. She nodded, though a scared look flashed across her face and he pushed a hand into her hair as he asked, “Would Ash be okay with me driving? Her taking the backseat? Oscar will follow us home--”

“It’s more than that. I’m scared for Ash…Can--If Ash is okay with it, can like, two of your guys stay with her and Rowdy?” Taddie asked, gripping his jacket and giving it a light tug. He nodded and dropped a kiss to her lips as he said, “Of course, kitten, of course. I already have my guys surrounding the place. If he’s here, we’ll find him and I’m gonna keep him away from you, do you hear me?”

Taddie nodded and bit her lip, gripping his wrist as she took a deep breath. Thatcher kissed her, deep and slow, before he whispered, “Go talk to your girls. I’ll wait out by your car, yeah?”

With a nod, Taddie brushed her nose against his, sliding her fingers over his cheek before she pulled away from him, going to the girls as they turned to her with excited squeals. She smiled at them, nodding along in shock at the amount that was written on their checks; Personal checks from Tristan’s own checkbook. Something Taddie was surprised by. She thought he’d have checks printed for the business, but this told her Tristan was taking this serious; Being more present and aware of the bar. Taddie was more than relieved that the girls were, now, excited and okay with not working for the holidays for once, happy she was able to be the nudge that made Thatcher and Tristan act.

Taddie went back with the girls as they changed and grabbed their things, eager to get out before Tristan changed his mind, not that he would. She and Ash stayed back as they all filed out and left, taking a little longer to leave. Ash glanced at Taddie, who’d gone quiet again, and Ash boiled at the reason behind it. Taking a deep breath, Ash stood, stomping her boot down as she pushed her foot in further, but also to get Taddie’s attention, which she did. Taddie quickly stood straight and blinked at her friend as the fear drained quickly off her face. Ash let out a sigh and drew her brows together.

“Why didn’t Tristan give you extra checks?” Ash asked, trying to ease Taddie into the confrontation Ash was planning. Taddie bit her lip and shrugged as she said, “Probably because he knows I’m with Thatcher? That he’s gonna take care of me? I don’t-I don’t know.”

“So…You’re with him with him? This is real now?” Ash asked, surprised. Taddie chewed her lip as she reached for her bag, slowly pulling it out. “Oh, God…Were you actually dating him before all this?”

“No! No, Ash, we weren’t…But, it-it’s-it’s a little more real to me now? I-I don’t know, Ash, okay? I-I just…He treats me right, I’m happy…But now that he’s back, I-”

“He’s not back. This isn’t his home. I’ll get him run out of Roanoke if I have to. He’s not touching you again.” Ash said, firmly. Taddie rubbed her hand over her face with a sigh. Ash took a step closer and she gripped her friend’s arm as she said, “He’s not going to get to you again, Tad, I promise-”

“You don’t know him, Ash! He-He’s…He’s unhinged, he followed me for two years, he’s not gonna let me go…And-And he made sure I’d-I’d remember him…” Taddie said, her hands beginning to shake as she twisted the hem of her shirt in her fingers. Ash raised a brow, confused, and gave her head a shake as she started, “What do you-I don’t understand?”

Taddie took a deep breath and looked away from Ash as she lifted her shirt and said, “He’s never going to be gone from my life…Ever…”

Ash clamped her hands to her mouth with a horrified gasp, staring at the scar that ran across Taddie’s stomach. Taddie quickly tugged her shirt down as her tears flowed steadily. Ash moved a little closer, reaching out for her, then stopped with a soft gasp/whine. “Oh, my God. Taddie, what the fuck? Why-Why have I never-”

“Because I hid it from you…He did this to me, Ash. He got angry, we were drunk--He threw me into a fucking dumpster with a broken corner. I was bleeding out and almost died because he doesn’t fucking care about me. Why he’s still following me, I don’t know!?...Be-Being with Thatcher…I’ve slept better than I ever have. Because I know I’m safe and I-I had ac-actually pretty much forgotten about him the last two days. Thatcher keeps me safe, kept, and I-I’m happy again. I-I don’t want that to go away, so…I’ll…I’ll make it real if I have to.” Taddie said, sniffling softly. Ash nodded and pulled her friend into a tight hug, Taddie wrapping her arms around Ash with a choked sob.

“This isn’t you, Tad. You don’t breakdown and cry like this. You’re one of the strongest women I know…Don’t let this asshole break down what you spent so long building up. I-I see you around Thatcher, especially tonight…If-If he makes sure you’re safe and-and he takes care of you…I-I guess I can be okay with this. At least they won’t take you away too, they’re taking care of you.” Ash said, quietly, both women squeezing the other. Taddie nodded and pulled back with a smile.

“He is--Ash, he really is. The man took me to a bookstore, grabbed a basket and said, ‘We don’t leave until it’s full’...I-I actually think he’s already in love with me?” Taddie said with a soft giggle, sniffling as they both wiped tears from their faces. Ash raised her brows then nodded in approval.

“Really?...Damn, well, I-I mean I guess he’s welcome for Christmas tomorrow. But he’d still better not push it. I’ve got buttons still.” Ash said, giving her a look. Taddie laughed and gave her a nod before she saw Ash’s eyes drift down to Taddie’s stomach and furrow her brows, both in sadness for her friend and anger for the dead man walking that did this to her. Lifting her gaze, Ash gave Taddie a smile, then closed the locker door after she grabbed her bag.

“Does it count as pushing it if he’s gonna drive my car to take us back to the house? I think he doesn’t want to leave me alone tonight, and I kind of don’t want him to either?” Taddie said as the pair linked arms and walked down the hallway, back to the bar. Ash raised a brow at her, then let out a sigh as she said, “I guess not…So, you’re not gonna stay the night though? What if he follows us back?”

“I, uh, actually wanted to talk to you about that--I asked Thatcher if he’d leave some of his guys at the house with you? If you were okay with it? We have the spare room and I really don’t want to leave you alone-I don’t want him to go after you, but I didn’t think you’d want to A.) Leave the house or B.) Stay in an apartment in the building. I’m sure there’s an empty one he can give you the keys to…I just thought-” Taddie started.

“No, you thought right. I-I’m not crossing that line. The fact he’s even going to  be in my house again makes me--Oh, hello boys.” Ash said, cutting herself off quickly as Tristan and Thatcher appeared at the end of the hallway. Ash’s cheeks turned red and she glanced at Taddie, who tried not to smirk too hard in amusement. “So…Thanks, Tristan. For, you know, the time off, the bonus and shit…”

“You’re welcome, Ash. I hope you have a happy Christmas.” Tristan said, bowing his head to her, lightly and with respect, before he turned to his brother and clapped hands with him, then left. Thatcher pat his back as Tristan passed, then turned to Taddie with a wide smile, lifting his hand to her.

“Ready, kitten?” He said as she took his hand and leaned against him with a tired sigh.

“Very…Oh, um, Ash, was-That was a yes to-?” Taddie asked, cutting herself off to let Ash think about it a little more. With a deep sigh, Ash nodded and said, “Yeah. Yeah, I’d feel a lot better--Thatcher, what Taddie asked you? Is that one, um, Oscar? Your bodyguard?”

“You want him to stay with you? Just him? I can leave another, they’re all tidy and clean men, I promise.” Thatcher said with a soft chuckle, offering his other hand to her. Ash gave him a half smile and nodded as she said, “Yeah--No, just him. I, uh, I trust him a little more cause…Well, there was an incident this morning and he saved me, so--”

“Ash!” Taddie hissed at her. Thatcher raised a brow and looked between the women as he pulled back from Taddie a little more to look down at her.

“What? What incident? Oscar never-”

“I told him not to.” Taddie said, giving Ash a fierce look before letting out a sigh and looking up at Thatcher, drawing her brows together as he held a look of anger and disappointment. “It was nothing--Some homeless man grabbed Ash. Oscar was right there and pushed us away and decked the dude. We’re fine, Thatcher.”

“Don’t do that. Ever again. I mean it. I gave my men strict instructions regarding your safety, Taddie. He shouldn’t have listened to you about that-He should have told me…You should have too-What if something had actually happened?” Thatcher said, tightening his hold around her waist, making Taddie gasp at first, then she felt his thumb rubbing over her hip and saw his brows raise in concern. She pushed her hand up his chest and said, “You would have known. We get grabbed and groped by homeless guys all the time since we moved here. If we were seriously hurt, you would have been called, Thatcher. I know you care, but…I have to get myself used to your idea of keeping me safe…”

Thatcher sighed and pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her as she laid her head on his chest. He buried his face into her hair and whispered, “Don’t keep things from me, kitten, please. I wouldn’t have been upset, I just need to know what’s a real threat and what’s not-And my men have been trained to see the difference.”

“I’m sorry. I-I just didn’t want to make you more worried than you are. It-It kind of bothers me that you’re so worried about me.” Taddie whispered back as she looked up at him. Thatcher looked down at her as he took her face between his hands, gently.

“Knowing what you’ve gone through, can you blame me? The fact that it showed up?...Look, we’ll-we’ll talk when we get home. Come on, girls.” Thatcher said, pressing a kiss to her temple before moving past Ash, then tugging her behind him. 

Ash clung to Taddie as they walked out and Thatcher stopped them before they fully stepped out, looking around before letting them go. Oscar emerged from behind Taddie’s car and waved them over. Thatcher sent Ash across first, keeping Taddie tucked into his side. Oscar met Ash in the middle and escorted her to the car. Taddie quickly dug out her keys and handed them to Thatcher as they reached the car, unlocking it. Oscar helped Ash in and made sure the door was fully shut before he moved to Taddie, doing the same. Thatcher exchanged a quick conversation in Swedish with the man, Oscar nodding before he dashed off to the SUV that started up on his approach. Thatcher looked around the lot as he rounded the car and got in to start it, making sure both women had their seatbelts on before taking off out of the spot.

~

Once they got to the house, Oscar took Ash out of the car and went with her to the door, looking around as she unlocked the door and they went in. Thatcher had started to back out, but Taddie made him stop, wanting to watch until she heard Rowdy barking at Oscar and Ash screaming at him to shut up and listen. The barks immediately stopped and there was a soft thumping of Rowdy’s tail against the floor. Taddie giggled and shook her head, looking at Thatcher, silently telling him it was alright to leave now. He sped home, with Lucas in the SUV behind them, and gripping Taddie’s hand the entire way.

Thatcher’s paranoia was high and on alert now, knowing her ex was even in town. He didn’t know anything about the man, yet, but he kept an eye out for any cars that were following them back to the building and into the parking garage. Lucas stopped the SUV by the elevators, but Thatcher drove further down until they reached a keypad. Taddie raised a brow as Thatcher got out and went to the wall, typing in a code, then hurrying back. Two metal doors slid apart, opening for them just enough for the car to enter, then immediately shut when the car cleared the door. Only the headlights lit their way through the dark tunnel until censored lights began getting tripped and lighting the rest of the way. They ended up in Thatcher’s personal garage and Taddie let out an appreciative sigh, now knowing she didn’t have to worry about her car.

Taddie pulled her hand from his as he backed into a spot and turned off the car. They both quickly got out, Thatcher meeting her at the hood of the car, wrapping his arms around her. His lips met hers in a deep, heated kiss, Taddie clinging to him before wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his chest. Thatcher held her close as he let out a deep sigh and nuzzled her curls. He let her get out a few lingering sniffles and sobs before he began to place kisses over her hair, then across her forehead before he whispered, “Let’s go inside, kitten.”

Thatcher led her to the elevators, the doors quickly opening, and they stepped on. Taddie wrapped her arms around his waist and closed her eyes as she let out a tired sigh. He kissed her forehead again then shifted her keys in his hand, a light smile crossing his face when he found she’d put his key on the keyring. Isolating the key, Thatcher quickly scooped her up once the doors opened, making her squeak, then giggle as she slid her arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder as he carried her out. He easily unlocked the door, then kicked it open to walk through. As he nudged it closed and did up the locks, there was a loud meow behind them, making Taddie jump in his arms.

Juniper was perched at the top of the chair closest to them, purring loudly and staring them both down. Taddie chuckled and beckoned her over, Juniper jumping onto Taddie’s stomach and curling up. Thatcher chuckled and carried them both to the bed, laying Taddie down, gently. Juniper slunk away, jumping off to her cat tower, and Taddie blinked, sitting up as she looked around the space.

“What is-What did you do?” Taddie asked as a smile crossed her face, seeing all the toys and tunnels he’d bought for her fur child. Thatcher chuckled and pushed her back down as he kissed her slowly. Taddie giggled and pushed her hands over his chest as he climbed on top of her, settling himself between her legs. Breaking the kiss, Taddie nuzzled her nose against his cheek as she cooed at him, “You need to stop spoiling me like this. Christmas is one thing, but don’t go buying shit for my child. She’s spoiled enough by Ash.”

Thatcher chuckled and nipped at her neck, gently, muttering in between each nip and kiss, “I wanted her to have something here…Place to sleep…Things to play with…It’s all I’ll buy, I promise.”

Taddie giggled and pushed at his shoulders, lightly, rubbing her hands over them then down his chest as he pulled back. Thatcher pushed her curls back then tangled his fingers in them as he gaze down at her with a smile. Her fingers began slowly unbuttoning his shirt as she said, “I’m kind of starving? Did…Did Lucette make dinner?”

“She did. She left a plate for you…And the same smoothie from last night.” Thatcher said, laughing as her eyes widened with excitement. He pressed another kiss to her lips before he said, “Get changed, Princess. We can eat in the hot tub? I’d draw you a bath, but I don’t have a tub.”

Taddie giggled and nodded, keeping hold of his shirt to keep him close as she kissed him again, muttering against his lips, “Promise we’ll be naked? When we’re done eating--Make me feel good like you did last night. Make me forget…”

“Anything you wish, Princess. Wait for me there?”

“I’ll wait for you here…You can undress me this time.” Taddie purred at him, flicking her tongue out at his lower lip, nipping at it before he smashed his lips to hers with a groan. She smirked as she kissed him back, then giggled as he quickly pulled away to grab her food. Taddie let out a light sigh and stretched her aching muscles, rather glad he offered a soak in the hot tub, as she desperately needed it. Sitting up, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed, kicking off her shoes with a light moan. She slipped off her bracelet and took her hair out of its clip, but paused on the necklace. As she slid her fingers over the stone, she smiled as her chest fluttered and her stomach filled with butterflies. She let her hands drop, leaving the necklace on and leaned back on her hands as Thatcher came back with her plate and a glass, making her eyes light up.

Placing the plate on the nightstand, he handed her the glass as she wiggled with excitement. He chuckled as she took it and sipped on it before setting it down on the nightstand as he kneeled down in front of her. Taddie bit her lip and watched him rub his fingers into her feet before tugging off her socks, then began to kiss up her jean clad legs. One hand drifted to his hair, tugging at the bun to release his dark locks as he inched higher and higher. Once his hair was loose, she let out a sigh as she sunk her fingers through the strands and laid back as he kissed up her stomach, his fingers slowly undoing her jeans.

“Tell me what you want, Princess. Tell me how to make you feel good.” Thatcher mumbled against her breasts, biting through the fabric and her bra before moving further up. Taddie sighed and arched against him before she said, “I just want to be naked with you right now, sweetheart.”

“As you wish, Princess.” He purred against her skin as he reached her chest. He looked up at her with a smirk, then dropped back down as he tugged her pants down and off. She let out a soft gasp, then giggled softly, lifting her head then pushing up on her elbows as Thatcher kissed his way back up again, over both legs, her thighs, then pushing her back with a passionate kiss. Taddie kissed him back and continued to unbutton his shirt until she pushed it off, down his arms. Thatcher muttered at her in Swedish as his hands pushed under her shirt and her fingers fumbled with his belt then his pants, but she popped the button and tugged the zipper down.

Thatcher pushed himself back to push his pants down, kicking them away. Taddie quickly stood and dug her fingers into the waistband of his boxers, tugging him closer and lifting on her toes as he met her for a heated kiss. She began to tug his boxers down, but he stopped her, guiding her hands up as he broke the kiss and tugged her shirt off. He quickly knelt on a knee as his lips peppered her skin with kisses, his fingers sliding to her back and undoing her bra clasp, tugging the cups from her breasts. Taddie sighed and tilted her head back, pushing her hands into his hair once he tore her bra away, then half picked her up as he pressed his lips to her breasts, wrapping his arm around her waist, the other hand tugging at her panties.

Taddie let out a soft moan as his lips found her nipple and sucked it between his teeth. He’d managed to wiggle her out of her panties and Taddie quickly kicked them away. With a groan, Thatcher pulled himself back to her lips, kissing her deeply before he said, “Let’s get you relaxed and some food in you, kitten. After you eat, you can order me around to please you, ja?”

“Yes, Sir. Please.” She said with a soft giggle, scratching at his scalp before dragging her nails over his cheeks, lightly. He chuckled and took her hands gently, kissing over her fingers before inspecting her nails.

“You should get your nails done before we go for Christmas. I’ll make appointments for Friday when we’re in New York again.” He said with a smirk. She blinked up at him, raising a brow, and Thatcher chuckled as he said, “You need a dress for Christmas dinner. It’s-It’s a big to do, everyone gets fancy--I’m taking you back to see Jaq so he can make you one. While he’s working, we can go get your nails done, get pedicures…Let me pamper you, baby girl.”

Taddie chuckled out a sigh and shook her head at him, pulling her hands from his and sliding her arms around his neck as she said, “Only if you come with me tomorrow--I’m not gonna be here to do Christmas with Ash, so we’re doing it tomorrow. We need to be there by 10, at the latest, in matching pajamas. We’re making fancy as fuck hot chocolate; Which just means Swiss Miss and Land O Lakes packets of cocoa mix and an ungodly amount of sugar in the form of sprinkles, syrups, and whipped cream. We’re watching Christmas movies all day while we open presents, then we order a bunch of pizza, get violently high and pass out in the living room after making it comfy…It’s a holiday thing not strictly to Christmas.”

Thatcher snickered and shook his head at her as he said, “You get high? You really are a rebel…Woman after my own heart.”

“Edibles. We don’t wanna hack up our lungs. And it’s the only way we can actually unwind, relax, then absolutely pass the fuck out to get some sleep. So…Does that mean you’re in?” Taddie asked, dragging her hands down his chest, hooking her fingers into his waistband again. Thatcher nodded as he eased his lips over hers, finally allowing her to ease his boxers down his thighs, then let them drop. Her breath hitched and she broke the kiss, panting against his lips. He gave a light shake of his head, gripping her hips and rocking them away from him as he said, “If you’re not ready, it’s okay. One step at a time, baby girl.”

“No, I-I want to…It’s-It’s been a while.” Taddie breathed, softly. Thatcher nodded and pulled back, lifting a hand to her chin, tilting it higher.

“One step at a time, kitten. Grab your drink, I’ll get your plate.” Thatcher said, gently, pressing a soft kiss to her lips before he stepped back. Taddie’s hands drifted from his hips and her gaze lowered, widening, slightly, as she took him in; Everything about him was long and big. He chuckled and picked up her plate and glass, pushing the drink into her hand and making her look up at him with red cheeks. She gave him a sheepish smile as he led her from the bed and into the pool room. He led her to a half circle that made up one end of the room and pressed a button on the wall. Two half circles broke apart to reveal a large, bubbling hot tub. Taddie bit her lip and chuckled softly, looking up at him in a slight awe.

Thatcher helped her in before stepping in behind her, Taddie immediately tilting her head back with a moan as she went to the center and sunk down to her chin. He chuckled and set down her plate, taking her drink from her, so she could let herself dunk under completely, but almost immediately popping back up. She let out a gasp and sunk back down to lay and float on her back. Thatcher smirked and grabbed her ankle, dragging her through the water to him, making her squeal out a laugh as she sat up, straddling his lap. She bit her lip as she looked down at him and he pushed her wet curls back, guiding her down for a deep, slow kiss. Taddie’s legs began to shake with the need to lower in his lap, but she broke the kiss, instead, and slid off his lap, curling up into his side.

“What did Lucette make for dinner?” She asked, shifting to her knees and turning to the ledge. He turned with her, pulling the plastic wrap off and handing her a fork as he said, “Steak and mashed potatoes with a Caesar salad.”

“Fabulous.” Taddie giggled, taking the fork and quickly testing the meat as she stabbed at a piece of steak and popped it in her mouth. She wiggled around as she chewed and he chuckled, guiding her back against him as she ate, hungrily.

Thatcher’s hands slid over her hips and his fingers rubbed into her thighs as he kissed across her shoulders. She pushed her hands through her hair, gathering it to one side and offered him the last bite as she munched on hers. Thatcher took it, quickly latching his lips to hers, pushing her back against him in a deep kiss. He broke it to let them both finish chewing as she turned in his arms, pushing her fingers through his hair as she leaned against him.

“That was delicious…So was the food.” Taddie said with a giggle. Thatcher chuckled and gave her thighs a tug, her body floating through the water and over his lap. He tugged her down, being sure to seat her on his thighs. Taddie laced her fingers behind his neck and gazed down at him, chewing her lip.

“I’m glad, kitten. How do you feel? Sore? Tired?” Thatcher asked, rubbing his fingers into her thighs, then into her calves as she nodded lightly, but ducked closer to brush her nose against his then kiss him deeply. He kissed her back and pushed his hands to her hips, holding her tight. Taddie let out a soft moan into the kiss, pushing her fingers into his hair as his hands slid up her sides. She rubbed into his touch as his fingers fondled her breasts, teasing her nipples.

“Thatcher?”

“Kitten?”

“I want you. Please.”

Thatcher let himself lean back against the ledge, staring up at her with his brows, slightly drawn. Taddie slid her fingers over his cheek and bit her lip as she smiled down at him. She gave him a soft nod as her finger slid over his lower lip, then dragged her thumb over it, making it pop back up.

“Here? This isn’t how I wanted it to happen…” He said, pushing a hand out of the water, his fingers sliding up to caress her neck. She gave a light shrug as she ducked closer, speaking against his lips, “You choose then. I just know I want you tonight. I want you inside me, Thatcher.”

“As you wish, Princess.” Thatcher groaned against her lips before kissing her slowly. Taddie kissed him back, then slid her hand down his chest until her fingers wrapped around his shaft, gently stroking it. He groaned and gave her hip a tug, then stopped to break the kiss as he growled out, “Not here…Bedroom. Now. Grab a towel, dry off, don’t slip.”

“Yes, Sir.” Taddie said, nipping at his lower lip before she pushed off of him, floating back as she giggled. Thatcher watched her with a smirk, gripping his cock and stroking it slowly as he watched her. She bit her lip and let herself float on her back, her fingers absentmindedly sliding over her body before she stood and went to the stairs, slowly getting out. Thatcher smirked and followed behind her, both of them grabbing a towel. Thatcher quickly tucked the towel around his waist before pushing his hands under hers, taking the towel from her and patting her down. Taddie bit her lip and giggled, letting her hands drift back to hold his hips as she swayed them both.

“I’ve waited a long time for this, kitten…Are you sure? I can wait longer if I need to. Don’t let me pressure you into this.” Thatcher whispered against her skin as he laid kisses across her shoulder. Taddie shook her head with a soft sigh and said, “I’m sure, Thatcher. I want this, I want you.”

~

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Taglist: @badwolf-in-the-impala @sweetwombatpizza

[glitterrosesnz]

it is currently *(checks clock)* midnight in my time zone, which means its technically april 30th, which just so happens to be a certain Mr. Diluc’s birthday-

so, of course, ive got a fic for him

---

Aether entered the tavern, Paimon fluttering behind him as he walked up to the counter with a smile on his face, before pausing, looking Diluc up and down.

"...Are you okay?" He asked, and Diluc sighed.

"I'm fine." He said, and was Aether hearing things, or was that a bit of congestion in his voice? "Is there something you need?"

"Oh! Um, two apple ciders please." Aether said. Diluc quietly prepared the drinks, sliding them across the counter when he was done. Aether put some mora on the table, picked up the two glasses, handing one to Paimon, and with one last suspicious glance at Diluc, walked up the stairs to the second floor. Diluc watched until the two of them were out of sight- and then his breath hitched, and he quickly stifled a sneeze into his arm.

"Heh- Hi'NGKT-uu!" He sniffled as he absentmindedly rubbed his nose on his sleeve, turning back around to face the front of the tavern.

Only to find Venti sitting at the counter, staring at him with an incredibly disapproving look on his face.

Diluc startled a little at his sudden appearance, but quickly pulled himself back together.

"...What?" Diluc asked, "Do you need something?"

"You're sick." Venti said, and the tone of voice he used made Diluc wince, feeling like he'd just been caught doing something bad. "You should go home and rest, y'know."

"I'm fine." Diluc insisted, turning away so that he wouldn't have to keep seeing Venti's disappointed expression. "Besides, there's work to be done here."

There was some rustling behind him, and then a thump, and Diluc cautiously looked over his shoulder- barely keeping himself from jumping in surprise to see that Venti was now standing right beside him. He must've jumped over the counter.

"What are you doing- hEY!" Diluc yelped, voice cracking a little as Venti effortlessly picked him up, throwing him over his shoulder to carry him. There were some cheers from the other patrons in the bar, somehow, they'd attracted an audience without Diluc noticing. He struggled, squirming and kicking a little as he tried to free himself from the bard's grip, only to find himself unable to. Venti must've been using some of his godly strength.

Ignoring Diluc's struggling, Venti walked out of Angel's Share, waving to the other patrons as he left.

Did. Did he plan to carry Diluc the whole way back to Dawn Winery?

Apparently not, as Venti paused for a moment, looked around to make sure there wasn't any witnesses-

And teleported the two of them to the statue closest to the winery.

"Apologies, I only have enough power to teleport to statues nowadays." Venti said, starting to walk towards the winery. "We'll have to walk the rest of the way."

"I can walk by myself." Diluc said, sniffling. "Put me down."

"Nu-uh. No way. I'm genuinely certain that, should I let you go, you shall attempt to go back to work, and that is something I simply cannot allow."

"Aren't you supposed to support me in having the freedom to do what I want?" Diluc asked.

"Not if said 'freedom' is detrimental to your health." Venti said, "You do have limits, y'know?"

Diluc, in fact, did know his limits. And sure, he had been feeling a bit light headed earlier, but that didn't mean he was just going to let Venti carry him all the way to Dawn Winery.

Especially since-

"Ven....Venti, put me..hih.....put me down- hEH-" Diluc squirmed as his breath hitched, the faint tickle he'd been feeling all day suddenly growing a lot more intense. "Hih- Hi'ESCHI-uu! Heh- H'TSSCH-iew!"

"Please at the very least try not to dirty my cloak." Venti said, his stride not hesitating at all as he continued to walk, seemingly, for the most part, unbothered. 

Now, what Diluc did next was, admittedly, very petty and childish. But, to be fair, he'd had a long day, so maybe a little bit of pettiness was understandable.

He rubbed his nose on Venti's cloak.

Venti gasped in offense, but Diluc barely payed attention to it, as he suddenly realized exactly why the tickle in his nose had suddenly grown worse.

Venti was covered in pollen.

"HehH-Hi'TSSCH! H'ESSCHI-uu! Hih-" Diluc struggled more in an attempt to distance himself from the allergen, but unless Venti put him down... "Hi'ETTCH-iew!"

"Geez...Are you okay? Those sounded rough." Venti asked, oblivious to the fact that he was the reason for Diluc's increased suffering.

"It's.....hIH....the, the pollen- hEH- H'ESSCHI-iew!" Diluc struggled to say in between hitching breaths.

"The pollen? I don't- oh!" Venti said, the realization striking him. "Oh, I'm sorry!"

He finally, finally, put Diluc down, not that Diluc actually was in a proper state to appreciate it. He continued to muffle sneeze after sneeze in his hands, the force of some of them snapping him in half. Venti winced as another sneeze sounded like it tore at Diluc's throat.

"Sorry." Venti said, again. "I... I forgot about your allergies."

"It's....okay." Diluc said, sniffling wetly, the congestion in his voice now significantly worse than before. "I....hih...I try not to make it- H'TSCH-uu!..... make it obvious."

"Still though. I should've remembered." Venti said, and upon seeing that the redhead's sneeze fit was starting to die down, pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket. "Here, take this."

Diluc, still using his hands to cover his nose and mouth, eyed the piece of cloth dubiously.

"I promise it's pollen free this time." Venti said, and Diluc, not seeing any trace of lying or mischief on Venti's face, finally took the handkerchief, using it to both wipe and blow his nose. While he did so, Venti took the time to carefully use his anemo to blow any pollen residue off of himself.

"Dawn Winery is still about ten minutes away." He said, once he was sure he was pollen free. "Are you sure you can walk that far?"

"I'll be fine." Diluc sniffed, pocketing the handkerchief, already planning to wash it and give it back later. "You don't need to come along."

"Hmm. I better make sure you actually go home, instead of wandering off to fight or something." Venti said, smiling a little. "Just to be sure."

"...Whatever."

-

Night fell over Dawn Winery, and Diluc's body ached in protest as he slowly, and silently, walked down the stairs towards the front door, his claymore strapped to his back. He felt congested, and his head was pounding with a headache that had developed shortly after Venti had dropped him off, and had not gone away despite the small nap he'd taken. But still, despite this, he still had his duties as the "Darknight Hero". Unlike running the bar, which another member of the staff could take over, there wasn't exactly someone who could fill in for his vigilante duties. Which meant that, despite the fact he'd rather just go back to bed, he had to go out and patrol Mondstadt.

"Ahem. Where do you think you're going?"

Diluc froze mid-step, turning his head to find-

Venti, sitting on the window sill, his bow leaning against the wall beside him.

"Were you really planning on going out again while in this condition?" He asked, clicking his tongue in disappointment. "I expected that you'd know better."

"There isn't exactly someone else who can take over this job." Diluc whispered, both out of a desire to not accidentally wake any of the staff that was sleeping in the winery, but also because he'd discovered earlier that his voice was nearly shot.

"I'm sorry? Who do you think I am?" Venti said, sounding offended, picking up his bow and giving it a little twirl. "I've already done the nighttime patrol for you. There was nothing but one or two petty thieves, which I dealt with rather quickly."

"...You did that for me?"

"Mhm. It was kinda fun actually. Gives me something to do, since I don't really sleep anyways..." Venti said, sentence trailing off as he seemed to remember... something. "Anyways, speaking of sleep, you should be getting back to bed."

He jumped down from the window sill, placing his bow to lean against the wall again, walking over to where Diluc stood. Carefully, Venti took the claymore off of Diluc's back, and Diluc couldn't resist his body slumping with relief at the loss of the weight.

He must've been more tired than he thought he was, because he didn't protest as Venti held his hand and led him back up the stairs and into his bedroom. Diluc stumbled a little as he took off his boots, not even bothering with the rest of his clothes as he climbed into the bed. He could deal with the consequences of not changing into pyjama's when he woke up in the morning.

His nose suddenly twitched, and he curled up a little, stifling a sneeze.

"Hih- H'NGXt-uu!" He sighed tiredly after wards, closing his eyes, and Venti laughed as he placed some blankets down on top of him.

"Bless you." He said, and suddenly Diluc felt a lot more comfortable, and relaxed than before.

He felt suspiciously comfortable and relaxed, actually.

Summoning up a bit more energy, he opened one eye to glance at Venti.

"Did you just actually bless me?" He muttered, "Like. In the whole 'godly gift' kinda way?"

"...Maybe. Yes." Venti gave a sheepish chuckle that clearly said that it hadn't been intentional. "Don't worry. You'll just feel more relaxed and free for a day or two. It'll wear off."

Diluc, mildly reassured by that, hummed in response, body fully relaxing as he finally fell asleep with no worries.

[eideticmemory]

EVER SINCE NEW YORK VIII | MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER

Description: I was messaged saying: “If you don’t write a young Matthew enemies to lovers fic featuring an obsession with sucking on boobs then what’s the point 😔.” So, here it is, folks! The ultimate College!Matthew fic.

PART 8! Read Part 7 here!

SOUNDTRACK:

Cry Baby - The Neighbourhood.

Past Lives - Børns.

The Few Things - JP Saxe.

Word Count: 2,832.

Rating: M.

Warning/Includes: Sexual intercourse, drinking, recreational drug use, a bit of angst.

Spring, Senior Year.

Los Angeles, 

California. 

“Not pregnant.”

You fell to your knees, grasping at the air in a fit of relief. You clutched your stomach and gasped for breath. 

“Not pregnant.” Claire repeated, looking at the second test. “Not pregnant.” 

“Fuck!” You shouted. “Thank God!”

Claire broke out into nervous laughter, “Not pregnant! You’re not pregnant!” She squealed. She dropped the tests and ran over to you, kneeling down to embrace you. 

You held each other in a deep hug for a long time. You missed her. You missed her so much. She was your rock. You once thought that when things were going to shit, you wanted Matthew. 

But who you needed was Claire. 

“I’m sorry.” You whispered to her. 

“You’re sorry? I’m sorry!”

“I was stupid.”

“I was more stupid!”

“I love you, Claire,” you told her. 

“Aw,” she smiled. “I can’t even say...how much...”

“I know,” you nodded. “I know.”

You didn’t go back to Matthew’s. You threw those terrible tests in the trash, scheduled an appointment at the student health center, and subsequently spent all day with your best friend. You spilled your guts. Told her the full Matthew story from beginning to end. It was like a rush of information, a physical rush of word after word after word. And Claire just listened. She chomped down on some twizzlers, dressed in her pajamas, drowning out the movie on in the background. She didn’t speak a word until you were completely finished. 

“Pass the oreos,” she said.

“That’s it?” You laughed. “I tell you all of that and all you say is pass the oreos?”

“I need oreos to properly digest all of this information, duh.” 

You handed her the blue package, which she gladly took and ripped open. Oreo in hand, a little caught between her teeth, she said, “If he hurts you, I’ll kill him.”

“I know. He knows.”

“I mean it, kid,” she looked you in the eye. “Matthew and I...we just fooled around. You guys passed fooling around a long time ago.”

“I guess...” you shrugged. 

“You guess? [y/n], I know you better than anyone. There’s never been a guy like this. Why...why aren’t you dating?”

You gulped, “Oh.” You looked down at your fingers, “Neither of us ever brought it up. It’s just...too messy. Don’t wanna deal with it. It’s fine.”

“So, you don’t wanna be his girlfriend?”

“I—“ you were cut off by the sound of your phone ringing against the couch. You picked it up to see Matthew’s name flashing on the screen. You declined the call.

Claire watched you set your phone back down, and you recognized the somber look on your face. “Well?” She continued. “Do you?”

After that, you simply refused to continue any kind of Matthew conversation. Claire noticed your sudden urge to keep quiet, and she pulled back on all the questions. 

“So,” you said. “What about you? Seeing anyone?”

She cleared her throat, awkwardly shuffling in her seat.

“I’ll take that as a yes!” You giggled. “Who is it? What’s his name?”

You sighed, “I’ve been meaning to tell you...but you can’t tell anyone, okay? Especially Matthew!”

You put up your hand, palm facing her. “You have my word. Who is it?”

“Roni.”

You sat back against the couch, physically moved by shock. “R-did I hear you right?”

Claire nodded, “Veronica.” 

“Um...yeah...I’m gonna need you to explain.”

She chuckled nervously, “There’s nothing really to explain. Um, we were drunk...and...you were out with Matthew, and I brought her back here. It—it was a total fling. Until...it wasn’t.”

“Holy shit, Claire!” You exclaimed. 

“I know! But, Veronica, she’s so cool. She’s so hot. She likes classic films, and—and she makes jewelry, and...I don’t know, I like her.”

You smiled at Claire, “I can tell.”

“Y’know, her and I are going to LA this spring break. You should come! You and Matthew!”

You cringed, “I don’t know...you want me to ask Matthew to come on a trip with three girls he’s fucked? Can you say awkward?” 

“Just ask him! We’ll invite more people to make it less awkward, and it’s not like we need to be a foursome the whole time. Just, ask. If he says no, he says no. But promise me you’ll ask?”

You sighed, “I promise.”

For the rest of the semester, you spent a very little amount of time with Matthew. Not only did the whole pregnancy scare shake you up, but you also had a lot of lost time to make up with Claire. She kept her distance from Veronica, as well. Both Matthew and her were very understanding, just taking it to means that the best friends needed some alone time. 

You spent winter break with Claire’s family, and came back with a new, restored friendship. She continued to ask if you’d invited Matthew to Los Angeles, and you always found subtle ways to say no. The trip was quickly approaching, but so was your final ballet performance. You channeled all your energy into practicing, perfecting, all while juggling class and Matthew. 

He brought you flowers on opening night, gave you a secret kiss in your dressing room, and told you to go kill it. You did. You put your soul into the performance, everything you had, everything you were. Until you were so tired that you could collapse on stage. Your ballet friends cheered you on as you exited the stage, and you stayed with them briefly before going into your dressing room. 

Beginning to take your makeup off, you heard a knock at the door. You expected Matthew, but your ballet instructor entered. “Oh. Hey! You happy?” You asked her, stepping up to give her a hug. 

“I’m very happy! You did amazing, [y/n], I’m so proud of you. Proud of everything you’ve accomplished here.”

“Thank you, Ms. Oak,” you whispered. 

“And I’m not the only one impressed by you.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes...the dean of the department has had her eye on you for a while.”

You tilted your head, “Should I be nervous?”

“No, no, not at all. Actually, she wants to offer you a job.”

You looked at her, stunned, blinking slowly. “A job?”

“Yep. Assistant ballet instructor. It’s a paid position, you’d be working under me. And if you choose to accept, NYU will pay for you to attend their graduate school.”

You jaw dropped, “You’re telling me I take this job, I can attend the graduate film school for free?” 

“Yes, ma’am,” she nodded. “What do you think?”

“I—“ you stuttered. “What do I think? I think it’s amazing! Thank you so much!” You pulled her into an excited hug. “Um, when do I have to decide?” 

“You don’t have to decide until graduation. But, the sooner, the better.”

You nodded, “Okay. Okay, I’ll get back to you.”

The first person you told was Claire. She jumped up and down in your dressing room, squealing with you. “Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! [y/n], this is huge! This is huger than huge! We gotta celebrate. Go find Matthew, we’re going out for drinks.” 

The three of you went out to a bar, and Claire proposed a toast to you. “To our superstar, [y/n], the baddest bitch, the best ballerina, and soon to be assistant—“

“Hey, Matthew,” you interrupted her, turning to Matthew. “Do you want to go to Los Angeles this spring break?”

“LA?” he replied. 

“Yeah, Claire and I are going. We want you to come.” You nodded, cutting your eyes at Claire. She was eyeing you suspiciously. 

“Claire’s okay third wheeling? I mean, you and I kind of come as a package.”

“Well, Claire’s, uh, bringing a friend.” 

Matthew looked at Claire, his arm tight around you. “Really?” He said. “Nice. Do I know him?”

“Yeah,” Claire and you said at the same time. “You do.”

Claire slapped your shoulder once you two got home. “Ow!” You winced.

“Why didn’t you tell Matthew?” She snapped.

“Tell Matthew what?”

“Everything! About LA, Roni, your job offer?” 

You sighed, “I’m going to tell him. Just not tonight.”

Or the night after that. Or the night after that. Or the night after that. 

Matthew didn’t know about Roni until the four of you met at the airport. Awkward doesn’t begin to sum it up. Matthew and Veronica didn’t talk at all. They only acknowledged you, Claire, and other friends, never each other. You didn’t bother asking Matthew what was up, but Claire filled you in. The last split had been bad. It was easier on them now that Matthew and you were...whatever you were. And Claire and Veronica were doing their own thing.

The group of you walked around like typical tourists. It was your first time in California, and you loved every second of it. Matthew and you stuck together like peas in a pod. He showed you around, paid for your dinners, held your hand. He was a perfect gentleman.

Until he got you into bed. Then he was the same old, horny Matthew. He wore you out with a bunch of orgasms. First, sliding underneath the covers and eating you, gripping your thighs, humming against you. Then, he used his cock to fuck you until your legs turned to jello and you came twice. When he told you to get on all fours, you froze.

“Okay, dude,” you giggled. “You have never lasted this long. Ever. What was in your drink tonight?”

“Viagra,” he said simply.

“Yeah, right,” you rolled onto your stomach. When Matthew stayed silent, you turned your head to face him. “Wait. Deadass?”

He laughed, “Yeah, me and some of the guys bought some as a joke. But I took one and now the little guy won’t go down.” 

You glanced down at his rock hard dick, your jaw dropped. You shook your head at him, and placed yourself on all fours, arching your bed into the mattress. “You’re insane, Matthew Gray Gubler.” You giggled.

“Fuck, you didn’t have to say my whole name,” he laughed. He slapped your ass lightly and knelt behind you, lining himself up at your entrance. 

“Why not—ah!” You were cut off by the sensation of him pushing into you. “I—I like Matthew Gray Gubler. Good, strong name.”

“Yeah?” He bit down on his lip, taking long, slow strokes in and out of you. “I like the way you say it.”

“I like...when you pound me.” You whispered, a sly smile on your face. 

He said nothing, just slammed himself into you. Over and over, until you were trembling and gasping. “Fuck,” you huffed, biting down on the pillow. He watched you writh beneath him, held your hips as you pushed yourself back on his cock. Your bodies moved in perfect unison with one another, and it was so good for both of you, even Matthew viagra-boy Gubler was nearing his orgasm. 

He reached around and rubbed on your clit, making sure to keep up his rhythm. You held onto his wrist tightly, calling out his name and beginning to melt into the mattress. You eagerly pushed your ass back, trying to get him as deep inside of you as possible, and make yourself come. Matthew placed sloppy kisses between your shoulder blades. 

“Come on, princess, come on,” he whispered. 

You fell helpless against the bed, your toes curled, your mouth was wide open. He licked the sweat off of your skin and it sent you over the edge. Your pussy tightened around him, and his finished you off with one final thrust. He followed right behind you, finally releasing himself, loudly, into the condom.

Yes, condoms. They’re your new best friend. 

Matthew held you against his chest, the two of you entangled in a soft cuddle session. He kissed your forehead, “My dick’s still hard.” He told you.

You burst out laughing, “Oh, God. Dumb boy, silly boy.” 

“Hey, [y/n]?” He called. 

You looked up at him, “Yes?” 

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something, but I just want you to listen. Just hear me out.” 

You sat up, nervous already. “Yeah?”

He sighed, “Okay,” he whispered to himself. “Okay. When I went out with the guys, we obviously got y’know condoms, viagra—“

“The essentials,” you shrugged.

“Right. But we also went to this film expo. And we’re just walking around, looking for jobs and...this modeling agent walks up to me. Tells me I’m very handsome, duh, and that I, uh, should come work for them.” 

You tilted your head at him, a smug smile on your face. “Modeling, huh?”

“Yeah...yeah...it’s legit. And if I take it, it’ll finally be my chance.”

“Chance to what?” You asked.

“To move to LA.”

You sat back, shocked at his words. “Hey, hey, don’t freak out on me,” he said. “Because that’s not all.”

“Oh?” Your voice came out small, weak.

“Yeah...I, um...I—“ he stuttered. “I want you to come with me.”

Talk about a double shot. You sat in utter surprise, your mouth opened slightly, your body numb. “Come...with...you?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Let’s just do it. After graduation, you and I, on a plane, going to live in Los Angeles. How does that sound?” 

You stared at him for a long time, “That...that sounds...perfect, actually.”

“But..?”

You shook your head, “No but...let’s do it.”

Matthew broke out into a huge, bright smile, “Holy shit! Really? Really?”

“Really.”

He tackled you onto the bed, both of you erupting into a fit of laughter and joy. “[y/n]...” he whispered.

You looked him in the eye, your thumb tracing his jaw. “Yeah?”

He stared at you, sighed, and leaned in to kiss you. Softly, gently, sweetly. “My dick’s still hard,” he mumbled.

You didn’t tell Claire until after spring break. It was an accident really. She caught you cruising LA apartments online, and you cracked. Spilled the truth.

“Are you...” Claire started. “Are you dumb?”

“I—“

“[y/n], you can’t move to LA with him. You will regret that shit. You’ll end up pregnant for real, he’ll leave, and you’ll be on your own.”

“Claire, what the fuck?”

“Well, it’s true! Matthew’s not even your boyfriend—“

“Stop!” You shouted. “I don’t want to argue! I don’t wanna fight with you! I love you, Claire! But I love Matthew, too, and I want to be with him!”

Holy shit. Did you just...you did. You said you loved Matthew. Out loud. And you meant every word. 

All of your attention left Claire, and you simply continued your apartment search. You spent that night at Matthew’s, cuddled up and showing him your favorite affordable places. It felt right. Real. Being in his arms, planning a future with him. 

Right. Real.

Claire swallowed her tongue a lot on the subject. She had her opinion, she made it clear. But she didn’t want to spend your last year together in a fight. So, you both ignored the situation. Even when you began to pack up your room. Even when Matthew sent you your plane ticket. Even when the future became painfully clear. 

You stuck together all of graduation day. You partied the night before, had a small movie marathon, and fell asleep on the couch. Your families harassed you two with cameras and orders and their sheer excitement bouncing everywhere. 

You did it.

After four long years, you had your degree. Holding it was everything you imagined and more. And as you wandered through the crowd, you came face to face with the best thing NYU had brought you: Matthew Gray Gubler. 

The two of you smiled at each other across the courtyard, and subsequently ran into each others arms. Matthew picked you up and spun you around in your cap and gown. 

“We did it!” He exclaimed. 

“We sure did, and fashionably, too!” You giggled. 

Matthew pulled you into a steamy kiss, one that nearly made you entirely weak in the knees. “Tomorrow morning,” he whispered, pressing his forehead against yours. “I will be in that airport, waiting for you.”

“I’ll be there,” you smiled. 

The next day, you woke up promptly at 7 o’clock in the morning. Your bags were packed, locked, and ready to go. So were you. You hopped up out of bed, dolled yourself up. You took one last look at the room you were leaving behind. And you left. 

You arrived at the airport at eight, after getting some breakfast and saying goodbye to a few friends. You saw the plane. 

You sat outside of the airport, on the bare grass, suitcases at your side. Tears rolled down your cheeks, and you saw the aircraft rise into the sky. And something in your stomach told you that he was on it. That, in another life, you would’ve been on it, too.

You sighed, followed by another slow breath.

“Goodbye, Matthew.” 

[coffeebeannate]

Taken from @werebearbearbar

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works (fics, art, edits, etc.) you’ve created this year and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world in  2020. If you don’t have five published works, that’s fine! Include ideas/drafts/whatever you like that you’ve worked on/thought about, and talk a little about them instead! Remember, this is all about self-love and positive enthusiasm, so fuck the rules if you need to. Have fun, and tag as many fellow creators as you like so they can share the love! <3

I started writing fic years and years ago. And have done so in other fandoms before taking a long hiatus from the writing world in general. I stuck with written roleplay only. For  what I assume to be around four or five years, I did not write a single fic. (I also wrote short stories in childhood, teen years and young adult years)

(I want to point out though that this absolutely does not negate roleplay writing, and that writing with another person, or in a group is a lesser form) My break from fanfic came with one of the worst periods of my mental and physical health, and everything I had written was purged from my Ao3 account in a single night.

I started writing for The Old Guard in August, and below, are the things I like a lot that I’ve written for it. To do this, I decided to use the criteria of ‘fics I like the most’ instead of what seems to be the most popular to read. For me, if I really love a piece of work, I recall the creative process fondly, and have lines and bits of dialogue I truly adore within it.

1. Precision Mission Fic. Gala. Post-Movie. Current Group (Nile, Andy, Joe, NIcky)

Rated  M (Mature) 4846 words

My second fic for the fandom that I published, but the first I actually conceptualized. This one is just..so special to me. I have phone notes typed at five am. I can recall the excitement as I was so eager to share this story and get it off the ground. I wanted to see this complete so bad. I loved nearly every second of writing it, and it’s always going to hold a special place in my heart as a result. There’s so much overdone clothing talk and I can only think of it with fondness. 

Excerpt:

None of them are comfortable. Except Joe, it seems.

Joe makes it look easy. Simplistic, even, judging by the way he effortlessly glides and charms his way through the expansive ball/congregating/entertaining room. Something that never failed to fascinate Nicky was the way Joe could integrate himself almost seamlessly into any scenario, situation, or environment. Neither Andy nor himself had that ability. Not when it came to cavorting, anyway. Nicky more quietly reserved, Andy lacking in the ability to care enough to fake it.

Nile seemed to be more in the middle. She did not appear overly comfortable with the mingling, but she had enough personal grace and adaptability to make it seem somewhat effortless to have a decent time.

All their eyes remained sharp on the surrounding area, awaiting the arrival of their target. And for all his schmoozing, Nicky knew Joe’s surveillance was tack-sharp, multitasking to a degree no one he was currently conversing with could have possibly noticed.

“You going to move at some point, or have you taken up permanent resident status here?” Nile asks, appearing at his side where Nicky has spent the last half-hour molded to the furthest left corner of the solid black bar. “I know you have an excellent view, but.”

Nicky snorted, though only Nile could actually tell, “Why waste a good opportunity?”, momentarily ceasing his Joe watching to stare back into the depths of his glass, which currently contained some horrifically shocking pink abomination, Nicky’s second drink, since he was letting the bar tender dictate them, too utterly distracted to care what was touching his lips, and curious with the way the bar tender had delighted in being given free reign to make whatever he desired.

To be fair, it didn’t taste that bad-something frighteningly sugary and weirdly noxious smelling, but it’s not exactly ‘crime against humanity’ levels of alcoholic nightmares.

--

2. Old

Post-movie. Current Group. (Andy, Nile, Joe, Nicky) Mortal Andy. Character study.

Rated T (Teen and Up Audiences), 2903 words.

My first attempt at Andy-centric writing. Andy is a character I consider a challenge to write, and that makes me want to write her more. This fic centers mostly around her and the others trying to come to terms with how much has happened, within day to day life and taking the comfort that they can in one another.

I really like this fic. A lot. Sure it’s short. Sure maybe not much happens, but Andy’s character fascinates me, as does her relationship with her family.

Excerpt:

Old.

Old

Old

So motherfucking old.

Someone is calling out to her, her hearing and senses long fine-tuned to knowing. It’s Nicky- she can easily pretend she can’t hear him, he knows when she doesn’t want to talk to anyone, after all.

She’s being petty, and she knows it’s unfair. That the nearly untouched plate and nights spent not sleeping gives them reason to be at her. But facing them with that fact feels about as ideal as jumping into a flaming volcano right about now. They’re just worried. It makes her stomach turn, sour and vicious. Venom in the gut, acid in the heart.

Said volcano would be kinder.

--

3. Spice it Up (Or Not)

Joe and Nicky. Pre-Movie. Fluffy Lovings

Rated: E (Explicit) 3030 words

This one was just fun. I am such a sucker for banting, and the most established of established relationships that Nicky and Joe have going on. This one is indeed not safe for work, and honestly, the opening paragraphs are what came first, and I actually had to build the story around it.

Something that I think makes this fic fun to me as well is that, just because something that sounded like a good idea fails, it doesn’t make it an ending. Healthy communication, knowing each other..it’s so blissful to think about.

Things aren’t always perfect, but that’s okay. And it’s not always a threat. Oh and because this is me, what was supposed to be fairly light hearted gets all sappy and reflective mid-way.

Excerpt:

He knows Nicky in every way. He knows his scent from battle, from sex, from showers and from sleep. He knows his eyes in darkness, in light, in dread, excitement and worry. He knows his grief, his love, his sadness, and adoration. Excitement, passion, fear, and pain.

He could count each tear that Nicky has shed, could recall each tone of his voice in every language they know. From the first he heard to the current. The sweet harmony of song and the rough gasp of drunk intoxication. He’s heard him yell, heard him scream. Heard his shouts and his cries.

He knows how Nicky tends to favour his left shoulder even though there’s no reason beyond psychological to do so. A spot Joe stabbed so long ago. So far back in another life. He knows how he likes to pause and do surveillance before they enter any new location. Knows he likes vehicles that move fast and has a fondness for roller coasters.

He’s seen those hands, so large and skilled break bone, wield a sword and cut vegetables and fruit. Seen them card through his hair, felt them map out each knot and ridge in his spine and ribs, felt them so deep inside himself he can taste it. Rolling into it. Demanding, needing.

“Yusuf.” Nicky’s not calling him back, Nicky’s just as far gone. So often they seem to share thoughts.

Nicky knows Joe in all ways and more. Knows that Joe still sometimes seems to speak ancient by-gone languages in his sleep. Knows that he tends to carry the strongest personal scent in the dead of night. That no shower, no soap, no life experience or battle has truly ever masked the delightful musk he has to himself. There could be a cologne out there that would modify it, and Nicky would bite and lick it away. Demanding and asking, why take this from me? How dare you try to alter what I know and love so furiously?

--

4. Touch Before Heart

Historical Kaysanova. Early Years. Pre-Movie. Getting to Know Eachother.

Rated E (Explicit) 5030 words

As is pretty obvious by now, I write a LOT of early years Kaysanova. A lot. I am addicted to it.

This one..I love it. This might be one of my favourite pieces of writing of all time. If I was doing these numbers strictly in order preference, then I’d put it as number one I bet.

I think the summary I made for it sums up well just how much I love it. And maybe why.

The first moment they’re able to have a bath, they resolutely do not look at each other. Picking opposite ends of the small stream bed, backs turned to one another. A strange show of both trust and distrust; their backs were exposed, but it was up to their tentative mutual agreement to not partake in the opportunity to stab each other for it.

The..idea that they had so much to learn, so much to understand. So much confusion, anger mistrust..I just really really adore this fic and I think I did a good  job with it.

Excerpt:

He curses in unison with Nicolò, both holding fast and steady as the thing finally rights itself, Nicolò letting out a slow, shaken breath of relief.

“Are you alright?” Yusuf asks, both to break the silence and mend the irritating gap they’ve created for themselves.

“Better. Thank you.”

Yusuf wants to scream.

He wants to grab Nicolò, shake him until he can do nothing but give him answers.

Why do you drive me to the brink of madness?

Why do I know your touch, but not your heart?

Why do you tempt me, consume me?

What does it mean?

Why are we here?

Why!?

It is an unfair desire; he’s hardly given the man any more clarity.

--

5. Curated

Post-Movie. Current Group (Nile, Andy, Joe, Nicky)

Rated G (General Audiences) 1807 words

Alright, I admit it, I had trouble picking number five. I picked Curated because it’s just..so fluffy. But it’s so sweet I always feel so sugary when I think of it. The softness that I tried to convey, and I think I succeeded.

Nile is another character that fascinates me, that  I just do not explore enough, and this is all the comforting goodness I could ever hope to create.

Excerpt: 

She’s grown used to the easy intimacy they all share, but the sight before her, Nicky’s eyes half-lidded, face a perfect serenity she rarely see’s on it, Joe lost, far-away in reciting but still wholly present, creates an odd, near-throbbing ache in her chest. Something powerful and raw. It’s hard to imagine that people who have been alive this long can be this content.

Everything they’ve seen, experienced and done. All the stories they’ve regaled her with. All the prep, the anxieties, the concerns, and curiosities. None of it seems to exist in these moments. Joe speaking in a language the world might think dead, the true master of softness within the room.

--

And there we have it! I have so much more I want to write, I have so much more I want to explore, and I thank you all for sharing in these journey’s with me. May there be more writing in our future!

[sides-of-demigods]

The Forest Incident Pt. 3

Word Count: 1,723

Warning(s): Blood, injuries, cursing, infirmary/hospital

Author's Note: I am upset. It wasn't supposed to be this short but I reached the damn paragraph limit and had to go pretty far back for the most natural cutting off point. I was gonna finish it all this chapter but I guess I'll have to wait a day to two. Ugh. So yeah, there'll be a part Fours that basically just an epilogue. Thanks Tumblr.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

Virgil muttered an apology and fully slapped the boy across the face and desperately shouted his name again.

Finally, Roman slowly opened his eyes and Virgil let out a little laugh of relief.

“Did...did you slap me?” Roman questioned, his voice weak.

“Well you wouldn't wake up,” Virgil said. “Didn't leave me much choice.”

He dragged Roman over to the nearest tree and propped him against it, flinching when Roman launched into a coughing fit.

“Hold on, hold on I've uh…I've got some first aid stuff just hold on,” Virgil muttered, practically incomprehensible. 

Virgil tossed his sword and shield to the side so he could take off his backpack and rummage through it.

He ended up just taking everything but the protein bars out, because he still wasnt sure exactly what he needed.

He was no Patton, but he was pretty sure he could buy enough time to find Patton or get back to camp. Only problem, they had been following the tracks, so Virgil actually wasn’t sure which way Camp was.

But that was definitely a problem for later. For now, he had to keep Roman from bleeding out in the middle of the woods.

“Okay, here eat this,” Virgil shoved a large square of ambrosia into Roman’s hand and made sure he was starting to eat it before he used his sword to cut open Roman’s shirt.

He had to get it off in order to actually treat the gash and there was no way Roman was taking it off anytime soon.

“You know,” Roman started before coughing again. “If you wanted to see...see me shirtless...you could have just said something.”

"Shut up idiot," Virgil muttered. He opened the First Aid kit and began to use the cleaning gauze to wipe away as much of the blood as possible because at this point he couldn't even see the cut.

Roman looked on the verge of passing it again, but Virgil remembered something about keeping the patient awake by talking or something.

"You saved my life you know," Virgil ended up saying, inwardly cursing himself. "Throwing me my shield I mean. That was some quick thinking."

"You're welcome." Roman tried to laugh but ended up coughing again and slumped against the tree. "You, you saved me too...you know."

"I think all the blood suggests otherwise."

"But after that you…you got me out of the way...that stinger... remember?"

"Yeah I guess. Everything happened so fast." Virgil wasn't fully paying attention to the conversation. He had given up on the blood and reached for the rubbing alcohol, putting some on the left over gauze. "I've gotta clean this out. It's gonna hurt like a son of a bitch though, so try to just keep talking. Ready?"

Roman nodded and visibly braced himself, so Virgil pressed the gauze to the wound. Roman hissed loudly and his head fell back against the tree with a dull thunk. Virgil mumbled an apology under his breath. 

"Not to mention, ow ow ow, this," Roman said, trying to follow Virgil's advice and just distract himself.

"What on Gaia's green earth are you talking about?" Virgil raised an eyebrow. 

"Nursing me...back to, ow, health or whatever. Maybe you're...not an evil, ow, villain."

"And why's that?"

"Ah!"

"Sorry."

"Well if you really wanted me...ya know...dead...this would be the, ow, perfect opportunity. Secret…secret mission in the...the woods...crazy monster….already hurt…"

"I think you're in shock Princey."

"M'not in shock...you're in shock…. you're so...so calm."

Actually, if Virgil thought about it, the delirious demigod may be onto something. 

Usually Virgil would be freaking the fuck out and definitely not treating a wound methodically and carefully and ESPECIALLY not since he himself was injured and exhausted, though the adrenaline coursing through his veins at the sight of Roman's cut and the blood on his own hands was probably to thank for that.

"Okay done with that." Virgil used the last scraps of gauze to get at least some of the blood off his hands before tossing it away. Usually Patton would scold him for something like that but Virgil couldn't bring himself to care about littering at the moment. 

He reached for the bandages instead and helped Roman sit up so he could wrap that bandages around his torso and occasionally his shoulder to help keep them in place.

He used on hand to hold up Roman and the other to wrap the bandages, alternating which hand was doing which as he went.

"Hey Virge? I think...I think I'm gonna take a little nap now."

"Like hell you are," Virgil growled. "Don't think I won't slap you again."

"That's not nice," Roman pouted. He was getting increasingly delirious from a combination of blood loss, exhaustion, and pain, and Virgil wasn't sure how much longer he'd last. 

Virgil had skills limited to basic First Aid and it wasn't professional quality either. If Roman didn't get help quick, Virgil wasn't sure he'd make it. He'd lost so much blood…

Plus Virgil would have to carry him back to camp and he had no idea which way that was. 

Worse still, he didn't think his body could handle that. 

He was bruised and battered as well, he was pretty sure he'd at least crack a few ribs, and was running on nothing but adrenaline at this point. 

Virgil tucked the end of the bandage and secured it with medical tape, but that was about as far as his skills went. Now the other problem.

"We've gotta find Logan and Patton or figure out how to get you back to camp," Virgil was mumbling again, searching fruitlessly through his bag as if a miracle would suddenly appear. In fact, he was actually praying to every god he knew that that exact thing would happen. Because he was out of options.

"I could...do a spell," Roman suggested, his voice quieter and weaker than Virgil had ever heard. 

"No, no way," Virgil argued immediately. "There's no way you have enough energy for one of those."

"I would if you gave me...gave more am..amber...ambrosia."

"You are just a FACTORY for bad ideas right now, aren't you? I already gave you a risky amount, anymore and you'll probably burn up!"

"I don't think we have another choice."

He was right of course. As much as Virgil hated it. If they did it Roman at least had a chance of survival, however slim. If they didn't...well Virgil didn't see a scenario where Roman got out alive.

"Damn it." Virgil cursed, begrudgingly taking the smallest square of ambrosia he could find. He held it up to Roman's lips who obligingly ate it, understanding he needed to conserve as much energy as possible.

They waited a few seconds for it to kick in. Roman schooled his face into one of determination and began to run through songs in his head.

"Go for finding Logan and Patton. I don't think I can carry back to camp," Virgil suggested and sat against the tree next to Roman, their shoulders pressed together. He was exhausted but he still wanted to be close enough in case something happened.

He winced at the movement, his hand coming up to his ribs as he hissed in pain. Roman looked at him questioningly but Virgil rolled his hand to get him going. 

"Don't make fun of me for the song alright? It's the only thing I can think of."

"No promises." 

"And I'll probably pass out after this so-"

"Just get on with it Sir Sing-A-Lot."

Roman took a breath and began to sing. Virgil had no clue what he was expecting, but he was pretty sure it wasn't Gotta Find You from fucking Camp Rock.

"I need to try to get to where you are," Roman sang. "Could it be you're not that far. You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing. I need to find you, I gotta find you. You're the missing piece I need, the song inside of me. I need to find you, I gotta find you."

His voice got weaker and weaker as he sang, to the point where by the end even Virgil could barely hear it.

Then Roman slumped over and Virgil caught him, propping him against the tree as best he could, but Roman still ended up leaning on him. 

Virgil looked around and began to panic, as it seemed like nothing has happened.

He blinked and there it was, a ball of light almost like fire just floating there. 

And then it zipped off through the woods, leaving a trail of light behind it. 

A few seconds later:

Logan and Patton had found the other two serkets and had managed to dispatch them. 

They weren't unscathed, but since they had managed to take the serkets by surprise instead of the other way around, they were much better off than Roman and Virgil. 

Both were shocked when suddenly a ball of what looked like fire burst out of the trees and stopped in front of Patton then just…hovered there. 

The two shared a curious look, having a conversation without words. Eventually Logan nodded and Drew his daggers as Patton turned to the ball.

Slowly he reached his hand out toward it, closing his eyes just before he made contact with it, preparing to be burned or worse. Instead he heard some sort of shimmer and opened his eyes just in time to see the ball explode into an image of Virgil and Roman leaning against a tree. 

Roman had bandages wrapped around his torso that we're already covered in blood and was pale as snow, Virgil was covered in scratches and bruises and seemed to be gingerly cradling his ribs. 

Patton gasped audibly at the image, his hand flying up to his mouth while Logan cursed under his breath. 

"Patton, look," Logan said, pulling Patton's gaze from the image in front of him and to the glittery trail leading into the woods that the ball had left behind.

The two looked at each other again.

"You don't think…?" Patton trailed off.

"One of Roman's spells," Logan agreed with a firm nod. "He's leading us to them."

"We have to hurry!"

"Agreed."

The two sprinted into the woods.

[who-is-olivia]

Track 4. Two Ghosts

Harry Styles x OC x Taylor Swift

Harry reunites with Olivia after he settles in a relationship with Taylor Swift. [4.5k]

Genre: angst, fluff

Warnings: substance abuse, mentions of panic attacks, mental health struggles, infidelity

January 2013

“I just left the keys with Nialler, mine and El’s, tomorrow we’ll come pick up the rest of my clothes” Louis explains over the phone while Harry looks at the New York landscape through snowy windows.

  After the successful tour, there was no more financial reason to share a flat with Lou, and before that there was not a good healthy climate to share it either. He felt terrible seeing him every day after they shared such intimate moments. They’re still close friends, just not as much as they used to be, and it hurts. He misses the days when they would play video games on the couch and diss each other’s clothing, he misses the companionship they shared. In fact, looking back to this time last year, there’s a lot of things he misses. His anonymity, his mum’s house, Oli...

  Boy, does he miss Oli.

  Few months after her first big hit debuted, launching her album and promoting their tour, she became too stressed. She felt the hate and the press lurking around her like vultures, she cried about small things, she smoked three packs a day, she became aloof and apathetic. One day, it was all too much.

  Since she decided to live with Frank her mother has shut her out, they haven’t been on speaking terms. Right after the tour, when her band started racing up the charts, a tabloid wrote an article with her mum spilling all of her life story. Oli’s always been very secretive about her family history, Harry knew the basics but she seldom talked about it. So one day she woke up and everybody, in the whole world, knew and judged her for it.

  Looking out the window, the New York landscape disappears and he’s back in her hotel room holding her by the shoulders, her eyes puffy and vague, her tear-soaked face was catatonic. She had been kneeling on the living room unable to move or talk for hours and it scared him. She was absolutely broken, and no amount of love declamations and tears were enough to bring her out of that loop.

  Harry took her to a mental institution that day and never saw her again, all he heard from Frank was that she went back home to make peace with her mother. That was back in September, now it’s January and he still haven’t heard from her, so he’s trying to move on. He’s been hanging out with Taylor, she’s good company – and, most importantly, a good distraction. They’re set to travel tomorrow and enjoy some well deserved vacation but he hasn’t packed swimsuits or anything, so he’s going out to buy some after he’s done with Lou.

“It’s alright mate”

“Okay, I’d hand it to you in person but I was thinking about taking El to meet my mum”

“Wow, that’s huge!” he smiles sadly, he never got to introduce Oli to his mum. Bet they’d get along just fine. “You think you’ll be back in time for rehearsals?”

“Can’t miss that, Simon’d just kick my arse”

He chuckles, “Right, see ya then”

“See ya” they both hang up.

  Although Taylor offered to host him at her private loft in Chelsea, Harry opted to book a hotel room on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, next to where Olivia used to live. So, when he goes out for a morning jog, he always walks past her building and the pub where she used to work. This morning, he packs up to go shopping and leaves the hotel, reaching a point where, if he makes a turn, he’ll reach the tube and go shopping right away, if he goes forward he’ll pass in front of Uncle Jim’s Pub, but he’ll have to walk another twenty minutes before he finds another station.

  It’s a pointless ritual, going over to Uncle Jim’s. She’s never there. But he can’t help that fear in his guts of missing an hour on the day where she might just be. So, despite all logic, he goes forward.

  He soldiers through the cold morning stomping over melted snow until he passes over the pub. He looks through the window and this time spots something odd, or rather, someone: a man in a dress sitting over the bar.

  He comes closer, rubbing the glass to see better. He spots Jim sitting on one of the tables, his signature cane beside him. They’re both looking at the same spot on stage but he can’t quite see it. Slowly, he opens the door and immediately hears the soft piano tiles playing something harmoniously crude but melodically so, so sweet.

  There she is, beautifully onstage playing the piano forte, her back perfectly straight, her signature braids are gone, her hair a small afro surrounding tanned cheeks. She looks sober and... peaceful, all her nervous agitation is gone, she looks healthy.

  He hides behind the bar, bumping into the portraits on the wall: Uncle Jim with Brian May and David Bowie, Oli and Frank sitting on Elton John’s knees, Paul McCartney watching her play the piano. He remembers Oli talking about uncle David and uncle Paul but he never saw it like this, her sweet toothless smile alongside some of the biggest rockstars in the world. She has a lot to live up to, maybe he didn’t realise that. He didn’t realise a lot of things.

  For a while, Oli was just the thrill of the chase, someone untouchable who graced him with her affection. But then they went on tour and suddenly she wasn’t just a fling, she was a friend who stood at the backstage every single show, who talked to him until late hours on the tour bus, she shared her most vulnerable side and he loved it, he loved her. Those stolen kisses and quick fucks became meaningful, they became friends then they became lovers. That’s why it was so hard to watch her crumble.

  The portrait he bumps smashes on the ground making them all turn, including Olivia.

  It’s like she’s seen a ghost. And so has he.

“Harry” she gasps, getting up from the stool. Jim and Frank both turn toward him with big salutary gestures.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean-“

“Oh, don’t worry! How’ve you been? It’s been a while!” Jim nods, unable to get up.

“Jim, we better give ‘em some room” Frank, always the expert on reading the room.

“No, no, no need, we’re going outside” she indicates for him to follow her out the door. Before she walks out she notices Frank’s weird looks, she sends one back signaling it’s alright in their own mental language and pushes Harry out the door.

  Harry is still appalled, trying to make sense of things while his eyes are assaulted by the winter morning’s sun. She pulls the door until it’s shut and, when she turns to leave, she finds herself being cornered against the glass by Harry. She stumbles back before being welcomed into his embrace.

He sighs in relief, feeling her hair tickling his cheek as it used to do. He can’t help but smile at the sensation of her body pressed against his and her gentle hands making their way to his back. “I missed you so much”

“I missed you too” she sighs through a smile. “I’m so sorry for the silence”

“I understand” he kisses the top of her head, “how’re you feeling?”

“Fulfilled, relieved... it’s like there’s a huge weight off my shoulders” she steps to his right, “You’re heading this way?”

“I- I don’t know”

“Jesus, Harry, let’s just walk” she mocks, “How are the boys?”

“They’re fine, Zayn and Perrie just moved in together”

“Nice” she swallows dryly, hadn’t she gone away maybe she and Harry would be living together.

“Niall is going out with someone, he won’t tell us who but we know” he chuckles, “we’re making bets on it, wanna join?”

“Sure” she replies, still thoughtful.

Noticing her discomfort, he hurriedly switches the subject, “I guess things with your mum were alright”

“It was fine, we just needed some quality time to put our thoughts in order. And Frank helped a lot, you know, getting her to know him made all the difference” she smiles earnestly, “He’s the fucking best, I couldn’t have done it without him”

“Blimey...”

“What?”

“I just... nothing, it’s silly”

“You’re silly all the time, tell me!” she taunts him with a smile.

“I already know what you’re going to say” he warns, “but sometimes I wish you were talking about me” he shrugs his shoulders.

“You’re such a-“

“-jelly baby, yeah I know!” she laughs, a laugh he was dying to hear.

“- such a jelly baby”

“Oli” he cuts that sweet sound, “I need to know... did you ever get to hear what I said to you the day you passed out?”

“No... sorry Haz, I just zoned out. What was it?”

“No, it’s nothing”

“What? Why are you so secretive today?” she continues to taunt.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t expect to meet a lot of people today, least of all you...” a thought crosses his mind, cutting his speech, “When did you arrive?”

“Just this morning, I got a night flight from Rio-“

“Were you going to call me? After all that happened?”

Olivia ponders for a moment, afraid of giving him an honest answer. He’s always been sincere, even if it hurt her, now it’s time to return the favour: “I don’t think so, Haz... It’s not because I don’t care about you or anything like that, it’s just...” she looks for the words but this time they’re hard to uncover, “I’m feeling fine now, but I can’t forget the fright I gave you. I don’t remember what you said or what was actually going on but I have a clear image of you just” she crosses her arms over her collarbones, “holding me so hard I almost choked, I can’t imagine how that felt to you... and I don’t want to put you through that again. I’m fine now but I don’t know how I’m gonna be tomorrow, I still feel the old me lurking just around the corner. Feeling fine is new territory to me, but I don’t know how you fit into this”

He nods, “Let me know when you do?”

She grins, “Of course! Yes, of course!”

  And then she does it again, hugs him like she used to, pressing her whole body against him and nestling her head on the crook of her neck. He wants to turn her and kiss her so bad, but he can’t do it. That’s what they used to be, not who they are.

“I better get back, Frank must be losing his shit... how long you’ll be around?”

“I’m leaving tomorrow, me and... hm... Taylor”

“Taylor?” she frowns. Fuck.

For all the tabloids and gossip websites, she has to hear it from him. Why can’t she just use her phone like a normal human being and read the fucking news? “Taylor Swift? We’ve been hanging out...”

“Oh...” she gasps in surprise.

“You didn’t say anything, I assumed-“

“No, it’s alright” her words don’t align with her face, “It’s ok Harry, really”

“You don’t seem ok”

“I’m just surprised, that’s all” she compensates with an awkward smile, “I’m happy for you”

“Thanks” he replies with a sour taste, he can feel when they’re not being honest to each other, in this cases cordiality is worse than just lying. Lying just hides something, cordiality shoves the thing in your face and acts like it’s not there.

“Oh, just in case I don’t get to see you anytime soon” she reaches into her sleeves and takes a colourful bracelet, “just a little souvenir from Rio, I was going to keep it in my bag but I thought I’d lose it”

“Thanks Oli, that’s lovely” he watches as she ties it around his wrist.

“Well it was great to see you, have a nice trip tomorrow!” she pecks his cheek and leaves.

  Just as she came, she went away. Not a moment with Oli ever feels wasted but they sure do feel short. Without any options, Harry goes on with his day chores which now include buying swim gear for a trip he doesn’t want to make anymore.

  He lifelessly picks random trunks and floral shirts, taking fewer than he’ll actually need then takes a cab to Taylor’s place. When he arrives the Chelsea flat, she’s reading a book on the couch, her perfect blond hair on a ponytail.

“Hey, stranger!” she looks over the backboard.

“Morning!” he comes over and kisses her temple, but she calls him back with a finger and presses her lips against his. “What’re you up to?”

“Not much, just finishing this” she shows him a copy of The Hunger Games, “I’m loving it. Everything’s already packed, I guess we’ll just wait around”

“I could use a nap, jet lag is driving me mad” he scoots over the couch and pulls himself a pillow, laying his head over Taylor’s lap. She rests her book over his chest while mindlessly playing with his fingers. While she’s distracted, he notices something about her face: even without any makeup, Taylor’s lips are still tinted red, which contrast beautifully with her stark blue eyes. Despite having a beauty of her own, she reminds him so much of Lou. For the second time today, he feels an uncomfortable void on his guts after remembering fondly someone he loved.

  He turns his gaze away, it hurts so bad to be haunted by these people who feel so close and vivid but at the same time feel like a distant memory, a ghost. He talked to Louis on the phone, he just saw Olivia on the flesh, Taylor is right in front of him caressing his hand but they feel so foreign. Maybe they’ve changed a lot ever since that idealised moment when they fell in love, maybe Harry’s the one who’s changed.

“Hey” she whispers, “what’s going on in your head?”

“Just thinking... do you still talk to the people you used to date?”

She chuckles at he spontaneous question, “Not on purpose, I always bump into them at these big events and of course everybody knows, so I have to be polite. If I even blink wrong the whole world will be like: Taylor Swift is just a bitter old hag”

“Come on, now”

“It’s true! If I talk to them, I’m fake, if I don’t talk to them, I’m rude, there’s no winning for us girls. You guys can do whatever you want!” she pokes his side, “If you see your ex and talk to them you’re oh, so polite and considerate, if you don’t talk you’re really discrete-“

“I get it” he nods in agreement. “But that’s not what I meant, it’s like... can you still be friends with people you used to be more than friends?”

“You and your weird questions” she mocks him lightly before sighing and finally answering: “It’s weird being friendly with someone you shared so much intimacy with”

“Yeah” he nods.

“ Just seeing them reminds me of something that I used to feel but I can’t talk about it, so I always end up tiptoeing around it and I... I hate it. I’m usually very straightforward but in these tight corners I never say what I really mean”

  He nods silently. If he could see Oli again, what would he say? There was so much he wanted to say, in fact he already said it but she wasn’t able to listen. It’s so frustrating...

  Taylor and him spend the day together lounging around, making out and napping. At some point they nap in a hammock, her body cuddled against his while the night falls outside. She sleeps very quietly while he doesn’t sleep at all, just stare at his new bracelet and ponders upon the last words Oli said today: ‘just in case I don’t get to see you anytime soon’. In a few weeks he’ll go on tour, her band split and they have no projects mapped out, when will they actually see each other again? On tour, they spent every day together except the ones when they’d be tired of each other and just spent the day apart. It’s so upsetting not knowing when he’ll see her again, that feeling just turns to a small pit of fear in his heart. What if his story with Oli is already over? It can’t be, he still has so much he wants to do, so many places to take her.

  But coming back from his daydream he finds himself laying with another girl. Shouldn’t he be planning things with her? For fuck’s sake, they’re about to take a romantic trip together! Still, looking ahead to his future, he can see nobody but Olivia. She’s left such a gap in his present and in his future he can’t stand the possibility of not taking a chance.

  Trying his best not to disturb her, Harry gets up from the hammock and walks to the kitchen. The fridge light washes the room white as he finds the rest of the wine bottle, there’s just two gulps left so he decides to take the whole thing. When he closes the fridge, surprisingly the room doesn’t go dark as the moon shines furiously through the windows. Another memory hits him: when he and Oli hid on the roof of their hotel in Phoenix. She took a bottle of rosé and a few blankets, cuddling with him while trying to remove the cork. She said “I hope you like a good rosé, I hate red wine”, and ever since then he lost the habit of drinking red wine... until today.

  As if to defy her memory he drinks the wine anyway but somehow the taste feels repugnant. Even now, she still haunts him. He looks over to Taylor and an enormous guilt befalls him. She is incredible, a good company, but his heart still beats for somebody else. He hits his head against the fridge in shame but it won’t change how he feels... so he decides to seek counselling.

He calls Zayn at least three times but not even a friend in need can dissuade him from deep slumber. So, he heads to the balcony and calls his second option, the one he wants to avoid but can’t anyways: “Hey curly, what’s going on? It’s a bit late here”

“I know Lou, I’m so sorry I just couldn’t help it”

“It’s alright, I’m up already. What’s going on?”

“I saw Oli today, she’s back in New York” he blurts at once, looking back at the balcony door to make sure Taylor’s still asleep.

“That’s great man, cheers-“

“Yeah, except I’m with Taylor now and I can’t stop thinking about Oli”

The line goes quiet for a moment. “Oh... that’s bad”

“I don’t know what to do, mate”

“Harry... I should tell you to stay with Taylor, you know, ‘cause she’s a nice gal and she helped you out of a tough place, but...” he smiles sadly, “I know if I tell you this is the right thing to do you’ll do it, even if it hurts you”

Harry snorts, “I probably would”

“Exactly, so I can’t tell you that. Listen mate, I... I fucking adore you, you’re one of my best mates and I know what happened between us hurt you”

“It’s alright now, Lou”

“I know it is, but I don’t want to be that wanker to tell you ‘just forget your feelings and do what you have to do’, you know?”

He chuckles, “Sure mate”

“See? So, in my humble opinion, you should go for Oli. I know you’re crazy ‘bout that lass... and, you know, we won’t get everything we want in life, specially us if we keep the band thing going. The least you can do is have fun with someone you love”

“Thanks, Lou”

“Anytime curly... ‘though if you can call a bit earlier”

“Right, right... bye mate”

  Olivia tosses and turns on her bed. The flat is so quiet when Frank’s not home, it’s unnerving, specially when she’s emotionally wavering. She gets up and away from her tormented thoughts and searches for one of her vinyls, she could do with a bit of music to drown it all out. She finds ‘Rumors’ from Fleetwood Mack and places it on the speaker, swinging to the melody of the first track and letting the tune fill her ears. She starts to assemble a cigarette while keeping a distant eye on her phone, she’s been trying to avoid it ever since the breakdown but seeing Harry today was very triggering. A spark of curiosity hits her but she refrains, last time she spent too much time on her phone she ended up in a psychiatric hospital.

  She finishes rolling her cigarette and lights it, getting up and singing along. It’s a good song, but not good enough to distract her from the temptation of her phone.

“Fuck it” she reaches the phone and searches for Twitter. Turns out Frank deleted it so she has to download it again, letting the anxiety take her reins as nervous tears cloud her view. Sighing in frustration, she logs in her secret account and searches for Taylor and Harry. “So stupid, so fucking stupid” she puts it down.

  Oli takes a long drag, holds it for a while then let go, letting one single tear fall down in self pity. Unnerved, she takes the phone back. She looks at the search results: Harry and Taylor walking down Central Park with Baby Lux, kissing after her midnight show in Times Square, talking at a restaurant. And of course, where there is a new girlfriend there will be comparisons:

@directionfever: Thank god he’s moving on from his drug dealer.

@bluejayway: my boy Harry looking like a prince with that new chick, he finally getting what he deserves

@styyles_xo: That’s the smile of someone who ain’t playing nurse anymore and’s finally living <3

@larryxx: taylor aint all that but at least harry is free from that fucking pr relationship

  Oh yes, the PR argument. Of course Harry and Olivia were arranged by a group of public relations managers in order to promote her career, as if she couldn’t possibly fall in love with him just for the sake of it. And boy did she fall graciously in love with him. It felt so strange seeing him this morning and just not squeeze his cheeks and give him a kiss, she didn’t even feel like the same person. Now he’s going away and all she wants is to fuck all logic and reason and just get him back like nothing ever happened. But of course, everything happened. She made a choice to stay away after she came back, now she has to deal with the most uncomfortable consequences

Before she can fall deeper into that self-doubt abyss, there are knocks on the door. “Frank? Did you forget the keys?” she asks wiping her tears.

  She opens it to find Harry.

“Haz?” all coherent thoughts evade her, “W-What’re you doing here, it’s past midnight already-“

“Did you, hm... did you see the moon?” she frowns at him but not completely dismissive, “It looks just like that night... bloody hell Oli, do you remember that night? On the roof?”

“Yes, I remember” she chuckles.

“If I close my eyes I can see it clear as day, I remember every single day I spent with you clear as day, it’s so clear I can almost touch it, love” he sighs shyly.

“Harry...” she gasps.

“The first night on the bus! Do you remember it?”

“Harry I had a breakdown, not amnesia!” she laughs before noticing the typical agitation on her hallway and the neighbors paying attention to their exchange, “Shit, come on in”

“What I’m trying to say, the best way I can is... I have this very vivid memory of you and I thought that’s all I’d ever have. But when I saw you this morning... I thought we still had a chance” he reaches out for her, before slowly recoiling at her lack of response, sitting at the couch’s arm rest. “Please say something?”

She quirks her head, “Is that Frank’s shirt?”

He looks down at the plain white t-shirt and frowns, “This?”

“The one he gave to me and then I gave it to you?”

“Hm... yeah, did you hear-“

“I did” she smiles shortly, “I just don’t know what to say, I mean I was just here bawling my eyes out thinking I’d never get to see you again and all of a sudden you’re here saying all these things!” her voice cracks. She stops, takes a deep breath and continues: “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say”

“You could say: ‘I’m really, really in love with you and I want to try again’” he mimics her lower pitched-voice while pulling her closer by the hem of her shirt. She giggles at his little tantrum, pacing closer until his chin rests between her breasts. Without another word, she strokes his curly locks of hair and holds him close agains her bosom. He nuzzles a straight line from her sternum to her collarbone, feeling just a tinge of her cologne. Every crawling touch feels like he’s desperately trying to remember how it feels to have her heartbeat singing in his ear.

  He pulls her shirt collar down and the loose fabric slides revealing a bit more of skin and a couple more tattoos. He runs his lips over it, feeling the sweet taste of her skin just as it used to be. Looking up, he sees her eyes lightly shut, her parted lips lit by the moonlight that invades the living room. He remembers when having her like this was enough, when he felt truly alive. Olivia is still everything he really needs, the rest is the rest. She’s not a ghost, she’s not a reverie, she looks, sounds, tastes, smells and feels so real to him, it’s impossible to desire any other incarnation of her other then the very present one.

“Haz” she sighs in a whimper, pushing him away a bit. She tries but she can’t escape his looming eyes. “I know I have no right to ask anything from you... “ her courage suddenly evades her, “but I don’t want you to go”

He cups her cheeks in a small comforting gesture, “I won’t go anywhere”

“What about Taylor? She must be so upset with me”

“Believe me, you’re not the one she’s upset with, it’s ok” he dismisses it, leaning in to kiss her lips passionately. “I’m right where I want to be” she smiles and kisses him back.

<< Previous | Next >>

Masterlist

[desiree-harding-fic]

IHSTFA River Scene

When Kravitz comes home, he thinks the wine is blood at first, the years he spent talking of this murder and that and this domestic violence case and that – and so he sees the red on the wall and on the couch and the floor and his heart stops for a solid ten seconds as he wonders what on Earth he’s going to do without Taako.

And then he looks a little harder, and sees that it’s not blood, but wine, and before he can even breathe a sigh of relief, a shape appears at the top of the stairs and something about the movement catches his eye.

It’s Lup. But Lup like he’s never seen her in all the time he’s known her. Lup with her face splotchy and hair wild, looking like a woman possessed, and she looks right at him, which she never does except in stolen glances and glares from across the room when she thinks Taako can’t see.

She looks right into his eyes, and holds his gaze, and the look that crosses her face is disappointment, sharp and so painful, and Kravitz doesn’t understand why, and then she’s thundering down the stairs toward him.

“Kravitz,” she gasps, and Kravitz can’t remember the last time she even acknowledged him like this, and hell, he isn’t even sure if she’s ever said his name before this. “Kravitz,” she grabs the lapels of his suit, hauls him close to her. She’s so like Taako, this close. And so much not.

“Please, please, Kravitz, you need to find Taako,” she gasps, and her grip is so strong. “Please,” she says, and tears are spilling from her eyes, and Kravitz doesn’t know when Barry got there, but he’s trying to pull her off of him. “Please, can you go out and look for him, he – he’ll listen to you, and he’s not answering my calls and I said such horrible things to him and you have to tell him I’m sorr - I’m so sorry. I don’t know where he’s been since this morning – please, Kravitz, please. I can’t lose him again and he just walked out the door and hasn’t been back -”

What can Kravitz do?

“Okay,” he says, grabbing Lup’s wrists, not hard but firm, and holding her still, talking in his best calming voice, the way he talks to the hysterical clients every once in a while, “okay, Lup. Slow down. Taako’s missing?”

She visibly flinches at the word missing, and lets out a horrible little sob, and Kravitz curses his insensitivity, but Lup still nods.

“Okay,” he says, trying to form a plan. It hasn’t even been three minutes since he came in the door. And his house is in complete disarray with broken glass on the floor and wine on the wall, and a woman having a breakdown in his foyer, and this is so much, and where could Taako have gone? Lup must have said something really awful to Taako for him to just… not come home, and Kravitz is more than a little worried. What state is Taako in? What if something happened to him?

“Okay, Lup, look at me,” he says, and she does, such a horrible expression of pain on her face that Kravitz’s heart about comes right out of his throat. “I’m going to go out, and I’m going to find, Taako, okay?” She’s looking a him so intensely, and Kravitz doesn’t think she ever has like this, ever, in the whole year she’s been back. “I’m gonna go get him, and bring him back, okay? And I’ll tell him what you said.”

“Tell him I’m sorry,” Lup sobs, “I’m so sorry –”“I will, Lup,” he says, and releases her wrists, and she grabs his jacket again, clinging.“Thank you, Kravitz,” she sobs, “thank you.”

Barry has to pry her off of him, and Kravitz has to go because it’s nighttime in D.C., and Taako didn’t have a car, but he could’ve gotten a cab or an uber or anything, he could be anywhere, and Kravitz has to find him. Because it isn’t like Taako to just run off, he’s been doing better – he’s not the kind of person who just runs away from his problems anymore. Hasn’t been that person in a long time. And the fact that he has –

Kravitz has to find him.

He slips out the door, barely looking as Lup collapses to the floor, Barry still holding her desperately and trying to calm her, and Kravitz wonders how long he’s been working on that, and secretly, he blesses Barry’s patience.

But the knowledge that Taako’s gone sits heavy in his stomach like a stone as he climbs back into his car, still in work clothes. Taako. Oh, Taako.Kravitz has to admit that he’s been… angry with Lup, since she returned. He tries to push it down, tries not to acknowledge it, but he is. She’s made their lives infinitely harder. And he would never begrudge a person’s mental health… but with Lup…

It’s just that he just doesn’t want Taako to be hurt. And Lup, intentionally or not, has been hurting him, hurting him deep. Causing stress so acute with her spiral that Taako’s been spiraling too. Kravitz himself is barely holding on.

And where does she get away with ruining his home in a fit of passion? The number of times Kravitz wanted to smash something out of frustration is… too many to count. But when has he ever acted on it? Somehow, he’s expected to have more restraint than that.

He could scream.

And yet… Kravitz would never wish her away. He knows how important she is to Taako, knows who she was through Taako’s stories and memories. He can see, once in a blue moon, little glimpses of that person in the Lup of today. But PTSD does a hell of a something to a person.

But for Taako to just run away… what could she have done to prompt such a thing?Taako’s phone doesn’t even ring when Kravitz calls it. Which means it’s either shut off or dead, which is just fucking perfect isn’t it?

He calls Ren, but no one at the restaurant has seen Taako all day. He calls Istus, but she’s heard nothing. He calls Magnus and then Merle, talking to them on the phone as he wanders around the city in his car, first on the streets near their neighborhood and then to the bars he and Taako used to go to, but no one’s seen him, not one of their friends. And no one’s heard anything, not even his mother, who he calls in fit of desperation, and Kravitz shouldn’t have stayed late at the office, if he had come home sooner he would have known sooner and could’ve looked for him before it was the middle of the fucking night, and anything could have happened to Taako, out alone in the city like this. It’s not like he isn’t competent, but Kravitz also knows the kind of things that happen to gay men wandering the streets at night, even though they live in a good neighborhood, and he has to force himself not to think about it and just keep looking.

He’s on hour 3, and he’s been calling Taako, or at least trying to, every 10 minutes or so and has gotten nothing, and he’s just starting to consider calling the police because it’s past 11pm now but Taako’s going to be so mad if he does –

And he rolls by Georgetown Riverside Park.

For some reason, his foot hits the brake, and he stops dead.

Something tells him to park and get out of the car.

He and Taako came here when they first moved in to their house together, a few months before Lup got back into the states. It was just barely spring and he and Taako would bundle up in their coats and walk out to the park, not caring how far it was from the house even though Taako complained the whole time, and then they would just stand and talk and stare at the water and the city across the way. Because Taako liked the water, liked living near it. He liked the way the lights would reflect and the boats that would occasionally go by. He loved the Potomac, loved the South as much as he used to protest it, and Kravitz loved watching Taako in the light of the streetlights and the stars.

The same light falls over the park now, and it’s freezing, and Kravitz pulls his coat around himself, the air slicing through it like it’s made of paper and chilling him to the bone. He tightens his scarf and shoves his hands in his pockets and walks through the park, looking carefully into every shadow, a last resort. Gods, let Taako be here, he prays. It’s been hours. Kravitz is exhausted, bone tired.

But more than that, Kravitz is scared. So scared in the wake of his family falling apart and feeling like he’s the one string holding all of it together, and now it feels like that string is fraying and breaking, and if Kravitz has to call the police and go home empty-handed, or if he has to stay out until morning leaving Lup to truly lose whatever’s left of her mind, or if he has to deal with a phone call tomorrow at 7am telling him Taako’s body washed up on the banks of the river somewhere, then everything will be over.

For the second time in a few hours, Kravitz wonders what he’s going to do without Taako.

His throat is tight and he thinks he might finally cry.

And then.

There. Along the river. In their spot.Taako.He’s long and lithe and so beautiful, and he’s not dressed for the weather at all, no coat, no scarf, nothing. He must be freezing. And he’s just staring at the water, leaning on the fence, unmoving save for his left hand which slowly brings a cigarette to his mouth as he takes a long drag, and then away as he blows out, the smoke mingling with the fog of his breath in the cold air.

Kravitz is so, so unbelievably worried, seeing Taako in the middle of some sort of classical nervous breakdown, and fuck, he’s smoking again, but more than that he is so relieved.

Taako’s not missing. He’s not dead. He’s here, in one piece, maybe not mentally but physically whole, and Kravitz can work with that.He walks up to him slowly, half afraid to call his name and startle him. He just walks up to him and stands next to him, facing him, and Taako’s in profile, looking almost grayscale in the indirect light from the streetlights on the snow, and Kravitz says, soft as he can,

“Taako?”

Taako doesn’t look at him, takes another drag from the cigarette, and Kravitz can see the pack in his pocket. His eyes are unfocused on the water, and he’s still, so still, and Taako’s never still. It scares Kravitz. It’s like it’s not even Taako standing there, just a ghost of Taako, a reflection.

He breathes death in and out, and doesn’t look at Kravitz, and just says,

“I don’t think I can do it anymore, Krav.”

Kravitz’s heart breaks.

“I know, Taako,” he breathes, his chest heavy with it.

“You don’t,” Taako says, bitter, glaring at the cold water, not quite ice, but so close, “you don’t know her like I do – you weren’t – you weren’t there. You can’t see what she’s –” he looks like he can’t go on, just glares at the cigarette in his hand and bites his trembling lip. His hands start to shake.

“You’re right,” Kravitz says, and he has to get this right, in this moment. He has to do this just right, because that’s what he does, he gets things right, and the prospect of losing Taako forever is hanging over his head like a chandelier ready to come crashing down on them both. “I wasn’t there before,” he says, “I didn’t know her when you did.”

“But I know you,” he says, because he thinks in this moment, Taako needs to hear it. That someone in the world knows him, and loves him. That someone cares for him. “I can see what it’s doing to you,” he tells him, because he has to get this right.

“Talk to me, love.”

Taako throws the cigarette to the ground, grinds it out under his heel, and he stares at the water for a long moment, and Kravitz wonders if either of them are breathing, and then Taako puts his head right in his hands, balling his hands into fists in his hair.

“What am I supposed to do?” he whispers, broken.

Kravitz wants to hold him.

“Can I touch you?” he says, and Taako, breath shaky, nods. And Kravitz immediately wraps his arms around him, going so far as to unbutton his coat and pulling Taako back against his chest, trying to lend him some of his warmth. He covers Taako’s hands with his own and holds him. Taako’s so cold. He’s shivering. And Kravitz wants to take all of his pain away, and knows that he can’t, that this collective family breakdown is killing all of them, slowly, as sure as Taako’s cigarettes would, as surely as Lup’s drink. They’re trembling apart, piece by piece, foundations being shaken so the whole building will come crashing down.

“What do I do?” Taako says again, his voice so tired. “What the fuck am I supposed to do?”

“Come home,” Kravitz says, because it’s true. “For tonight, come home. We can figure it out from there.”

“I can’t watch her do this anymore.”

“I know.”

“But I can’t get her to stop.”

“We’ll keep trying,” Kravitz insists, “your sister loves you. We’ll keep trying, and we’ll take it one day at a time. It’ll work out, Taako. I promise.”

“You can’t know that,” Taako says, and he sounds so fucking defeated, that Kravitz turns him right around and cups his face in his hands.

“Listen to me, Taako,” he says, “I do know. I know because I’m not going to fucking let this go on. I don’t care what it takes, I am going to work every day to help her and I don’t care if it takes my entire fucking life, Lup is going to get better. You and me and Barry, we are going to make this work and I don’t give a fuck how hard it supposedly is. I am not giving up on your family.”

“Kravitz,” Taako says, a little fear-colored, a little awed, and then he reaches up and touches Kravitz’s face and Kravitz didn’t realize he was even crying. He didn’t realize that he’s shaking too. “Babe, hey…”

Kravitz draws in a deep breath, and the cold of it burns his lungs.

“You scared the shit out of me,” he says, and then he’s really crying. So much crying tonight. Kravitz thinks if he sees another tear in his lifetime he’ll die.

Taako wipes his tears with his freezing thumbs, switching their places, reaching up to hold Kravitz’s face.

“I’m sorry,” he says, and Kravitz shakes his head to tell him no, it’s ok, because that’s not what tonight was for, he’s here to bring Taako home, not make him guilty – “no, don’t babe. I am sorry. I should’ve called.”

“I called you so many times,” he can’t help the words from spilling out, “I thought something had happened to you – like –” he chokes on the word, can’t bring himself to even speak a hypothetical into existence like that.

“Like you used to see at work all the time, fuck, Krav, no.” Taako says, and Kravitz sobs. “No, no, baby, I’m okay, I’m right here.” He cuddles in close to Kravitz’s chest, and Kravitz puts his arms around him, holding him tight. “I’m here, I’m okay, Krav. I’m sorry I didn’t call you, I – I’m not – I’m not.”

“Don’t fucking do that to me,” Kravitz says, the last of the fear rearing up inside him for one more attack, “don’t you ever do that to me.”

“I won’t, Kravitz,” Taako says, holding his face, bringing him close, “I won’t, I’m sorry. Babe, I’m so sorry.”

Kravitz nods, and hold Taako close, and it’s so cold, fuck, he’s freezing, and Taako must be colder, but it doesn’t reach him, also, in a different way, and Kravitz is wondering if this is what a mental break feels like, and Taako says,

“How is she?” half-grudging, half-worried.

Kravitz gives a little humorless laugh. “Awful,” he admits. “I think maybe she’s been in and out of panic since you left this morning.”

“Shit.”

“It isn’t good, certainly. I wasn’t home for two minutes before she was on me begging me to come get you.”

“Lup talked to you?”

“Extensively. She told me to tell you she’s sorry. She was… hysterical. She’s convinced you hate her.”

“I could never. I mean, I’m pissed, but I’m not – I couldn’t. I thought she knew that.”“I’m not sure she knows much of anything anymore.”

Taako sighs, runs his hands through his hair one more time, and then he turns, resolute.

“Okay.” He says, “Okay, let’s go.” And he begins walking down the sidewalk, back in the direction of their parking lot.

“Taako?” Kravitz says, not wanting to push, but knowing - knowing he has to.

“Yeah?”

Kravitz just holds out his hand. And Taako stares at it, and then Kravitz looks meaningfully to the crushed cigarette at his feet and back at Taako.

“Fuck,” Taako says, “yeah, okay,” and he reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out the pack of cigarettes and crosses the space between them to put it in Kravitz’s hand. Kravitz closes his fingers around it carefully, drops his hand to his side.

And then they go.

He drops the cigarettes in a trash can as they walk by, and he tries to read the energy off of Taako, to know if he’s upset with him. But it doesn’t feel like he is. In fact, as soon as Kravitz’s hand is free, Taako takes it in his own.

They slide into the car, Kravitz turning on the heat full blast, and Taako melts back into his seat and sighs.

“Kravitz?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.” He says, voice simple, eyes closed. He looks tired. Kravitz knows he is.

“Whatever for?” Kravitz feels his heart bleeding out, maybe a little bit.

“For looking. For coming to get me.”

Kravitz isn’t sure if his heart swells or breaks at that, but he reaches across the car to grab Taako’s hand where it lays on the seat.

“Always, love. Always.” Taako nods, opens his eyes.

“Alright. Let’s go home.”

[saiilorstars]

The Beginning of Everything

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing: Female OC x 10th Doctor

(OC Face claim: Marjorie de Sousa)

// Story Masterlist //

~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~

Ch. 12:  Ours

Chapter Summary: A daughter is born in the middle of war, bringing back painful memories of the past. In the end, tears will be shed.

The TARDIS shook all its inhabitants like rag dolls as it made its journey to an unknown place. No matter what the Doctor - nor Renata for that matter - attempted to do, the console would not react. They were not in control. Martha and Donna screeched and yelled as sparks almost got them. Nothing would stop!

"Doctor!" Renata cried after the man fell backwards, next to the bubbly glass jar of his like hand.

"I'm okay!" he glanced at the jar and remarked, " I don't know where we're going but my old hand's very excited about it!"

Renata groaned and with one hand clinging to the console, she reached for the Doctor. "No joking! No jokes while we're heading to God knows where!"

"Wait a second -" Donna found time to be horrified, "-you're telling me that hand is actually yours!?"

The Doctor could tell she wasn't interested in the back story - which he thought was a pretty cool story - and so he just confirmed it with a nod. However, the same didn't apply to Martha who easily blurted out the explanation.

"It got cut off. He grew a new one!"

If the TARDIS hadn't already been shaking, threatening to throw her overboard, Donna would've fallen back out of shock. "You are completely... impossible!"

The Doctor took some mild interest on the statement. "Not impossible, just... a bit unlikely!"

The TARDIS released one more dangerous explosion that threw Donna and Martha to the side, then another lurch which sent both Renata and the Doctor back, before finally stopping. In the dead of silence only their hurtful groans could be heard.

"Ow, ow, ow ow…" the Doctor was the first to hiss out loud. He had to pull Renata's finger, whose nail had somewhat buried into his hand, off his skin. "OW Ow," he said through gritted teeth.

Renata gasped with alarm. "Oh my goodness, I am so sorry!" her nail dropped blood onto the back of her other hand. "Are you okay!?"

The Doctor chuckled at her concern. The pain had passed. "Yes. Now shall we go outside and see what's out there?"

"I should just skip the part where I asked 'hey, shouldn't we check the monitor first'?"

"Yes, you should."

Renata shook her head.

The group exited the TARDIS to find a desolate place that seemed to be an underground tunnel. There was junk everywhere with scattered old equipment.

"Why would the TARDIS bring us here?" the Doctor asked while he gazed around.

"Oh, I love this bit," Martha crossed her arms after feeling a bit chilly.

"Thought you wanted to go home," Donna nudged her a bit, earning a smile from Martha.

"I know, but all the same…"

"Please don't…do that…" Renata crinkled her nose when the Doctor licked his hands for whatever search tactic he was doing. She shook her head and decided to look around herself. She came across a battered machine and saw that its controls were still blinking, meaning the machine still worked...and if it still worked, then people were most likely…

"Don't move!" they heard a male voice order. The man arrived with several soldiers, all primed with weapons. "Stay where you are! Drop your weapons!" the same man, Cline, motioned everyone to put their hands up.

"We're not armed!" the Doctor raised his hands. "Look, no weapons. Never any weapons. We're safe!"

"Now wait a minute," Renata pointed a thumb to the machine behind her, "Something you did brought us to this place!"

"Look at their hands," a solder beside Cline was in awe, apparently, by the hands of the groups. "They're all clean."

"Well of course they're clean - we wash our hands!" Renata frowned but ultimately regarded their untidiness as part of an ongoing fight - war, by the looks of it.

"Process the naggy one first," Cline pointed his gun at Renata.

The blonde glared daggers his way. "I am not naggy!"

"Well…" she then heard the Doctor go from his spot.

"Doctor! You are - let go of me right this instant!" Renata shouted at the two soldiers who swiftly turned her for the strange machine.

"Now wait," the Doctor now got serious and went after them, or at least tried to before he was barred by the other soldiers. "We're harmless! We came here by accident!"

"What are they going to do to her!?" Martha tried getting around but the soldiers were keeping them at bay.

"You know I bet this war has really turned your minds around!" Renata scowled at the men who paid no attention to her. One of them forced her hand into a slot beside the machine. "How dare you - OW!" the machine whirred around with new, stronger lights. "This actually hurts! What are you doing to me!?"

"This is really unnecessary-" the Doctor, very worriedly, watched Renata continue shouting the soldiers' heads off for whatever it was the machine was doing to her.

"What do you need my tissue sample for!? You didn't even ask permission!" the blonde pulled on her hand in vain. The machine was not letting her go until it was finished. She sighed in relief when the slot finally let go of her hand a few seconds later. Her eyes widened at the big, ugly graze on her hand. It had an ugly 'x' mark on it.

"Move out of the way!" the Doctor had enough and pushed the soldiers away from him. "Renata?" he ran up to Renata and carefully took her hand for examination.

"That thing is still going…" Donna came to a stop behind them with Martha, her eyes glued to the whirring machine.

"I dread to think…" Renata gulped and decided not to finish her thought.

The machine finally stopped and spewed out smoke for a second. Through the smoke they could only see combat boots stepping out. When the smoke cleared, they found a petite brunette woman with frosty blue eyes staring back at them with a rather curious face.

Cline came towards them but only called upon the woman. "Arm yourself!" he gave the woman a gun and the group was stunned to see her handling it like a pro.

"But where did she come from?" Martha kept blinking to see if the woman would remain there.

"I...from Renata…" the Doctor breathed. He felt Renata tug her hand back from his and looked at her to find her already staring back at him.

"From us," she could barely form the two-worded sentence. She turned her hand over and pointed at the graze. "Your stupid blood dried on the back of my hand…"

Yes, yes he did remember. And it explained why his face went completely red.

The brunette woman smiled at them and even tilted her head. "Hi Mum! Hi Dad!"

"Oh my God, no…" Renata turned away and really tried to process this before anything else happened.

"No, backup, how?" Donna needed to know how it was possible. There was a fully formed being that was apparently her friends' daughter!?

"She's exactly what you heard," but even as the Doctor confirmed it sounded like he was still trying to accept it too.

The brunette woman, on the other hand, was focused on the weapon in her arms. She maneuvered it like she'd truly been born ready for war. She hopped off the machine and walked past them still wearing that cheery smile on her face despite everyone staring at her.

"You primed to take orders, ready to fight?" Cline asked her as soon as she met up with them.

"Instant mental download of all strategic and military protocols, sir," she answered just like any soldier would have. "Generation 5000 soldier primed and in peak physical health. Oh, I'm ready."

Renata's mouth dropped open. She pointed a finger at the woman - who saw nothing - and started for the woman. "Oh no-" the Doctor knew where she was going and yanked her right back. "Look at what they did!" she gestured at the brunette.

"Can you explain how they did it in the first place?" Martha cleared her throat.

"Progenation," the Doctor answered. "Reproduction from a single organism. Means one parent is biological mother and father. You take a sample of diploid cells, split them into haploids, then recombine them in a different arrangement, and grow. Very quickly, apparently."

"But you just said she's your daughter too…?" Donna slowly reminded and kept glancing at the woman.

"That's because his stupid DNA got in there!" Renata exclaimed and crossed her arms. Of course she would have had the Doctor's dried blood on her hand, because why not!?

"It's not like I planned it…" the Doctor mumbled.

"Neither of us did! They stole my choice to ever have kids again!" Renata blurted with an almost red face of frustration.

It was then that the Doctor realized what was truly bothering her. After her first miscarriage, there was probably no plans on attempting for a second child. Now, whether she liked it or not, she had one.

"They didn't even ask, or explained, they just stole my choice…" Renata was glaring daggers at the men. "And then if it wasn't enough they just...took her...like an object in their war."

Martha and Donna shared a look between them, feeling sorrow for their friend. Donna didn't quite understand but it didn't matter. Renata was right. They had forced a daughter out of her.

The Doctor stared at Renata who kept her attention on the moving brunette woman ahead. All the anger had washed away from Renata's face to be replaced by deep heartbreak. He didn't like it one bit. Without thinking, he walked up to her and hugged her from behind. She gasped lightly, startled of course by the action, and yet...it wasn't new to her.

Zuriah was mad. Oh, she was mad. "I just don't understand what the problem is." She faced her desk, hiding her reddened eyes full of frustrated tears from the Doctor. "We already banished Gallifreyans and basically left them to their luck. I just want to help them, give them opportunities people are too selfish to. Why do I even bother with any of this?" she carelessly pushed away a stack of papers on the desk. "I'm not allowed to make a difference."

The Doctor heard enough. He'd seen how much work and effort she put into this charity. He couldn't let her throw it all away because other people were too blind to see the good in it. "Zuriah, you could find another way-"

"What's the point?" she repeated with even more force behind it. "Soon, I'll graduate and the chances of my family allowing me to continue this is slim."

"Well, there is your betrothed," the Doctor reminded, although with less enthusiasm. He'd never met the man but by what Zuriah told him, the man sounded relatively nice.

"Doesn't matter, I need investors! People who care but there's just no people!" she exclaimed and let her shoulders slump.

The Doctor marched up to her and hugged her from behind. She was startled by him but relaxed a short second later. There was a warmth he gave her that...she really couldn't find anywhere else, not even in her betrothed. She leaned back on him and relaxed in his arms.

"It'll take some time, but we'll find you people who care," the Doctor promised her.

"You're going to help me?" she asked, her surprise offending him.

"No, I'll just let you wallow in your sorrows," he rolled his eyes. "You know I'll help you in anything you need."

Zuriah stared at him for a long minute, but the Doctor was glad to see her smiling a bit. "You know," she began, "I'm never going to say this again, but... I'm a little happy you got into trouble with the law. Otherwise, I would've never met you."

The confession left the Doctor rather stunned, but it didn't appear like she would be taking it back.

"I'm sorry," the Doctor's apology brought Renata to the present. She relished in the familiar warmth that, despite the many body counts he'd gone through, remained the same as when they were young.

"Something's coming!" the new brunette warning put all of them into defensive stances.

"It's the Hath!" Cline shouted beside her. The Hath were indeed coming towards them but we're soon met with fires from the human.

"Get down!"

"We have to blow the tunnel! Get the detonator!" Cline ordered one of his men.

"Detonating!?" Renata repeated with widened eyes. "No! We can't-" but she stopped the moment she saw Martha being pulled away by some of the Hath. "MARTHA!" she screamed and made to run towards them.

The Doctor yanked her back when he saw his 'daughter' coming into contact with the detonator. Without a second thought, she activated it. Everyone was forced to run for cover and in time because the tunnel exploded only a mere five seconds later. Rocks struck down like a shower, leaving one side completely inaccessible, the side with Martha now in it.

"You've sealed off the tunnel!" the Doctor raged against the brunette once they were back in their feet. "Why did you do that?!"

She seemed as if she believed he was a oblivious. He was missing the point here. "They were trying to kill us!"

"But they've got our friend!"

"Collateral damage," she shrugged it off like nothing. Renata gaped from behind, a slow outrage soon filling her face. "At least you've still got them," she nodded to Renata and Donna, "He lost both his men, I'd say you came out ahead."

Renata stormed up to them and pulled the Doctor back to have her go. "Martha Jones is not collateral damage! No one should ever be collateral damage!" her voice rose to an incredible volume that silenced the brunette and everyone around them. "And if I ever hear you say something as insensitive as that then believe me you will get to know who your creator is."

The brunette was left blinking in her spot, mouth slightly ajar from the shock of being...lectured? Was that a lecture? Because it felt scarier than it probably ought to be. Donna could confirm that since her mother lectured her every day.

"We're gonna find her," the Doctor resolved but barely turned when he found himself being threatened with a gun

Cline wasn't letting them go for any reason now. "Absolutely not. You three have no guns, no marks, no fight in you… I'm taking you to General Cobb. Now, move."

The Doctor wasn't going to have one more shootout on his account. He turned in the opposite direction and started walking, making Renata and Donna ultimately do the same.

"You realize we're heading to their headquarters, right?" Renata's whisper wasn't exactly a whisper for the others. She didn't realize that.

"Yes, I'm aware," the Doctor assured her he wasn't that clueless.

Donna noticed that neither were making an effort to even look at the brunette girl who was their supposed daughter. She understood it was weird - way weird - but they had to break the ice at some point, right? Maybe she could help with that. She cleared her throat and moved slightly more to be beside the brunette. "I'm Donna, what's your name?"

The brunette made a face and shrugged her shoulders. "Don't know, it's not been assigned."

"Well, if you don't know that, what do you know?"

"How to fight."

Donna waited for her to list more things but the brunette seemed to have finished. "Um...nothing else?"

The Doctor glanced over his shoulder to see the brunette girl really that lost. "The machine must embed military history and tactics but no name. She's a generated anomaly."

"Generated anomaly?" Renata repeated bitterly then mumbled under her breath. "Because that's what I pictured when I had my baby."

"Jenny-rated…" Donna began to play with the name until she got an idea. "Well what about that? Jenny!"

"Jenny," the brunette smiled. "Yeah, I like that, Jenny."

Donna threw a smirk at the other two aliens. "What do you think, Mummy? Daddy?"

Renata seemed like a ticking time bomb the way her face scrunched and her finger pointing at Donna. "Don't!"

Donna blinked at the blonde. "Mum…?"

Renata groaned and took a quicker pace, ignoring Cline's call to slow down. The Doctor then threw a glance at Donna. "Don't suppose you could tone that down?"

"What? You two are the parents-"

"They stole a tissue sample at gunpoint and processed it, it's not what I call natural parentage-"

"-Rubbish! My friend Nerys fathered twins with a turkey baster, don't bother her!"

"You can't extrapolate a relationship from a biological accident," the Doctor snapped. And in Renata's and his case, it was even more so true. They both lost children at some point in their lives and that was a pain nothing would ever take away.

"Er, Child Support Agency can…" Donna figured she should stop talking but her mouth kept going.

"Look, just cos I share certain physiological traits with simian primates doesn't make me a monkey's uncle, does it?"

"I'm not a monkey!" Jenny cut in when it finally got offensive. "Or a child."

She was cut short when they finally returned to the human encampment in an underground tunnel. Renata smelled the distinct air of war. She scowled at war supplies piling up on every table in her vicinity.

"Where are we?" she asked Cline once they were together again. "What planet is this?"

"Messaline. Well, what's left of it," he gave a sigh before meeting with an older soldier to the side.

'...663 – 75 deceased. Generation 6671 – Extinct. Generation 6672 – 46 deceased. Generation 6680 – 14 deceased. Generation …'

"But, this is a theatre!" Donna said after seeing the stage up ahead. "It's like a town, or a city, underground. But why?"

"Because in a war, anything will do," Renata scowled and looked at the Doctor. "We have to get Martha and get out of here."

Cline returned with the older soldier who the group assumed was General Cobb. Like Cline, he scrutinized the group for their cleanliness.

"Found in the Western tunnels, I'm told, with no marks. There was an outbreak of pacifism in the Eastern Zone, three generations back, before we lost contact, is that where you came from?" the man asked after a minute of silence.

"Eastern Zone, that's us, yeah," the Doctor jumped at the chance of an easy background story. "Yeah. I'm The Doctor, this is Renata and Donna."

"And I'm Jenny," the younger girl introduced herself.

Cobb shot her a sharp look. 'Don't think you can infect us with your peacemaking. We're committed to the fight, to the very end."

"Well, that's all right, we can't stay anyway. We've gotta go and find our friend," the Doctor noticed the stare on Jenny and wondered if she would be outcast as well due to her origins.

"That's not possible, all movement is regulated. We're at war," Cobb said automatically, but it wasn't much for Renata.

"You said it, you're at war, not us," she scowled. "You've got no right to keep us here when all we wanna do is go home."

"You're on our territory, Lady, therefore you fall under our jurisdiction," Cobb argued back, further irritating her.

The Doctor set a hand on Renata's arm to keep her from snapping back. "So this war...against the Hath...who exactly are they again?"

Cobb seemed hesitant to speak, but Renata's last comment got him good. "If you're going to make us fight then we need to know who the enemy is." The smugness she carried no one could take away.

When Cobb finally began explaining, he sharply looked at Renata. "Back at the dawn of this planet, these ancient halls were carved from the earth. Our ancestors dreamt of a new beginning, a colony where human and Hath could work and live together."

"So what exactly happened?" gestured the Doctor to the ruddy room.

"The dream died. Broken, along with Hath promises. They wanted it all for themselves. But those early pioneers, they fought back. They used the machines to produce soldiers instead of colonists, and began this battle for survival."

"There's nothing but earth outside, why's that?" Donna could see even the windows in the tunnel were smeared with dirt. No sun illuminated it. "Why build everything underground?"

"The surface is too dangerous."

"Couldn't have been like that all the time if they built the windows in the first place," the ginger nodded them to one closest. "And what does this mean?" she pointed to a number stamped on the wall just above a threshold.

"The rites and symbols of our ancestors. The meanings... lost in time," Cobb's answer was too casual for Renata to believe he was actually sorry about it. She assumed all his mind could think about was the bloody war.

"Exactly how long has this war been going on?" She dreaded to know the answer but it would also clarify how desperate they would be if she knew at what point in their war they were in.

"Longer than anyone can remember. Countless generations marked only by the dead."

"That's a good system," Renata sarcastically clapped her hands together.

"What, fighting all this time?" Donna was stunned by the answer, unable to believe how simply he'd said it too.

"Because we must," Jenny said proudly, missing her parents' faces. "Every child of the machine is born with this knowledge. It's our inheritance, it's all we know. How to fight. And how to die."

"Can we just find Martha and get the hell out of here?" Renata whispered to the Doctor. She couldn't fathom the idea of staying much longer in the place.

"Mhm. General Cobb, can we take a look at one of your maps?" the Time Lord got started on that, and since the General was under the impression they would finally join the fight he led them to a table chuckfull of maps they could use. The Doctor took a glance at all of them before deciding on the one bigger. "Does this show the entire city, including the Hath zones?"

"Yes. Why?" Cobb replied, wondering if he was going to come up with strategies.

"Well it'll help us find Martha."

Cline shook his head. "We've more important things to do. The Progenation Machines are powered down for the night shift, but soon as they're active, we could breed a whole platoon from you two."

Donna and Renata had a hoot with that. Both women garnered similar offended, furious expressions.

"I'm not having sons and daughters by some great big flippin' machine!" Donna had her first go. She cast a look at Jenny and somewhat simmered. "Sorry, no offence but you're not... well I mean you're not real."

Jenny of course took that with offence. "You're no better than them! I have a body, I have a mind, I have independent thought, how am I not real? What makes you better than me?"

"Oh no, we're not saying we're better than you," Renata set out to clarify the issue there. "We're saying we have a wider perspective about life than you. The fact we don't think about war might be a good starter."

Jenny grew just as angry as her mother. "If you think-"

"At ease, soldier," Cobb cut in. "They're the ones who need to think more like you. You're the type of soldier that we need more like you if ever we're to find the Source."

The Doctor looked up from the map with newfound curiosity. "Ooh, the Source, what's that then, what's a Source? I like a Source, what is it?"

"The Breath of Life."

"And that would be...?"

"In the beginning the great one breathed life into the universe. And then she looked at what she'd done, and she sighed."

"She? I like that," Jenny said with a smile.

"It's a creation myth," Renata rolled her eyes but Cobb snapped that it wasn't.

"It's not myth. It's real," he glared at her, not that she cared very much. "That sigh. From the beginning of time it was caught and kept as the Source. It was lost when the war started. But it's here, somewhere. Whoever holds the Source controls the destiny of the planet."

By this point, the Doctor had lost interest and gone back to the map. He yelped with delight after finding something useful in it. "Ah! I thought so! There's a suppressed layer of information in this map, if I can just…" he whipped out his sonic screwdriver and pointed it at the map. The map blinked to life and provided a hologram with more to the map with tunnels. "A whole complex of tunnels, hidden from sight."

Renata cleared her throat and moved over beside the Doctor, tapping his arm to get his attention. "And you really think showing that to some war-powered crazies was the best plan?" she nodded him to Cobb who was staring at the hologram with hungry eyes. "You couldn't have waited until we were on our own?"

The Doctor sheepishly smiled at her. "That...would have definitely been easier. Did I mention you look absolutely lovely today?" Renata honestly didn't know whether to laugh at his attempt of getting out of trouble with her or if to blush.

Cobb did not wait for them to finish their moment. He'd see what was presumed to be the lost temple and that they were closer to it than the Hath. That got him moving his soldiers for the battle.

"Um, call me old-fashioned, but if you really wanted peace couldn't you just stop fighting?" the Doctor stopped Cobb from leaving to follow up with some soldiers.

"Only when we have the Source. It'll give us the power to erase every stinking Hath from the face of this planet!"

"Hang on, hang on, a second ago it was peace in our time, now you're talking about genocide!?"

"For us, that means the same thing."

Renata pushed her way through, ignoring if she was butting into the conversation or not. "Then do yourself a favor and get a new dictionary because it's not happening again!"

"Again?" Cobb repeated with reasonable confusion.

The Doctor was silent for a minute as he wondered whether or not Renata would throw his biggest action in his face. Despite their tetchy relationship, she hadn't once done that but who knew what today could be. Each day was different.

Renata straightened herself up and acted nothing but mature and noble. "There will be no genocide. Not here. Not anywhere else. Have you got that?" and then, without thinking, her hand reached for the Doctor's.

The Time Lord actually jumped in his spot at the contact. His widened eyes immediately looked to Renata but she was staring straight ahead at Cobb. He felt a strange warmth from her hand, and yet it felt rather familiar.

But of course, their choices landed them in prison.

~ 0 ~

From within their holding cell, Donna noticed more of the numbers carved onto the wall. "More numbers," she hummed in curiosity. "They've gotta mean something, right?" she glanced back at the two silent Time Lords.

Renata was sitting on the lone bench with both her arms and legs crossed. She had a particular expression of grimness Donna had never seen before.

The Doctor was just irritated they were being forced to waste time when a war was about to break out. "Makes as much sense as the breath of life story," he muttered.

Jenny did a double-take at those words. "You mean that's not true?"

"It's a myth, isn't it?" Donna turned around, now curious of the matter herself.

"Yes, but there could still be something real in that temple, something that's become a myth. A piece of technology, a weapon."

"And we've just given some war-hungry soldiers the map on a silver platter," Renata spoke for the first time since they'd been placed in the cell. She wasn't angry with the Doctor, at least not anymore, but she was still upset over the situation. Martha was on the other side with the enemies, and it was obvious the humans weren't going to hold back because of it.

"We need to get out of here, fine Martha, and stop Cobb from slaughtering the Hath," the Doctor noticed Jenny's long stare. "What, what are you, what are you…what are you staring at?"

Jenny's lips twitched, a ghost of a smile spreading across her face. "You keep insisting you're not a soldier. But look at you! Drawing up strategies like a proper general."

The Doctor took offence to that. "No no, I'm trying to stop the fighting."

"Isn't every soldier?"

"Well. I suppose. But that's… that's… technically... I haven't got time for this!" the Doctor waved the woman off and turned to Donna. "Donna, give me your phone! Time for an upgrade!"

"And now you've got a weapon!" Jenny almost laughed at the irony when she saw the Doctor's sonic.

"It's not a weapon!"

"But you're using it to fight back! I'm gonna learn so much from you, you are such a soldier!"

"Enough," Renata's quiet - but sharp - tone silenced Jenny in one second flat. "I don't ever want to hear you compare him to these deranged humans. You got that?"

Jenny quickly nodded, her eyes still wide from her initial startle.

The Doctor took refuge in Donna's phone because he certainly didn't want to get anywhere between that. Thankfully, Martha answered the phone. She was well and alive...with the Hath that were also preparing for war. Apparently, they also acquired the map the Doctor accidentally pulled up.

"We need to get out of here," the Doctor handed Donna her phone back. They could all hear the humans chanting for their upcoming war.

"And they're cheering about it," Renata said disgustedly. She pushed herself up from the bench and walked up to the cell bars. "They'll just kill each other."

"We have to get past that guard, right?" Jenny came up beside her, eyeing the distant guard from their cell. "I can deal with him."

"You?" Renata side-glanced her with a "never in your life" kind of expression. "You're not going anywhere."

"What?" frowned the young woman.

"You are not my daughter," Renata said the words so easily even the Doctor was stunned for a second. This was nothing like the Renata he met in 1913 who cared and loved for her human children. But then again, this wasn't the same situation.

"Renata, how can you say that?" Donna was the one to speak up. She kept glancing at the Doctor, waiting for him to say something but it appeared he was siding with Renata as well. "She's your daughter," the ginger told Renata then pointed at her and the Doctor. "She's your daughter!"

Renata shook her head, her face hardening while she crossed her arms again. "She is not my daughter! I didn't choose to become a mother here! She came out of a machine that I was forced into!"

"She's a soldier," the Doctor added on, though less strained than Renata. "She came out of that machine with nothing but a soldier's personality. She is one."

Donna felt for the young woman who was being rejected by both her parents. She never thought she could see such coldness from the two aliens! She suddenly extended her hand at the Doctor, motioning him to give her something. "Give me that stethoscope!"

The Doctor handed it over without question. He'd no idea what she was planning on doing with it. Strangle them till they accepted Jenny was his and Renata's daughter?

"What are you doing?" Jenny made a face when Donna moved up to her with the stethoscope around her ears.

"Just hold still," Donna listened to the woman's heartbeat for a second, smiled, then turned to the two Time Lords. "Which one of you is going first?"

Renata's face was cold as ice. She looked away, crossing her arms even tighter if it was possible.

"C'mon," Donna moved the Doctor in her place. "Listen then tell me where she belongs."

The Doctor practically rolled his eyes in front of them as he took the stethoscope and had a listen for himself. He was stunned to hear Jenny had two heartbeats...just like any Time Lady would. "Two hearts…"

"Exactly," Donna gave a strong elbow on Renata's side. "Would you like a listen?"

"No," the blonde answered instantaneously.

Donna inwardly groaned. Renata was too stubborn, and that was saying something considering all the people Donna knew!

"What's that mean?" Jenny was frowning since no one was clarifying for her.

"It means you're a Time Lady," Donna said, quite proud of herself at the moment.

"Is that…" Jenny's eyes flickered from the Doctor to Renata and vice versa, "...is that what you two are? Or...from?"

"Biologically, that's what you are," Renata muttered. "But you're an echo at most. You don't know what it means. It's a sum of knowledge. A code. A shared history. A shared suffering. And you don't…" she stopped herself when she felt tears pooling in her eyes. Her shaky breath was a signal of her memories resurfacing. The Doctor placed a hand on her arm, comforting her with a knowing look.

"Then take me there," Jenny said, implying this was all a challenge she was up for.

The Doctor shook his head at her. "It's gone." Jenny's smile faltered at the news. "It's gone forever."

"What happened?"

"There was a war."

"Like this one?"

Renata's sharp, sarcastic laugh made the three wince. "Never. It was far bigger than...this."

"And you fought? And killed?"

"Yes," the two Time Lords answered simultaneously, sharing the same grimness.

"We killed, we cheated, lied...everything," Renata's words carried a different weight that both the Doctor and Donna noticed.

"Then how are we any different from each other?" Jenny challenged them with that. Donna smirked behind the Doctor and Renata. Whether they wanted to admit it or not, Jenny had both of them in her...down to the very tone of the question.

Renata was the first to snap out of the shock Jenny caused. She preferred to think about the current problem at hand than the daughter she was forced to have (with the Doctor). The guard soon became an easy problem to handle, with Jenny's willing participation. He never stood a chance against Jenny's light-hearted flirting.

"Fool, in war there's never a chance for love," Renata said on their way out of the cell.

The second guard was also taken care of by Jenny...with a good clock in the face. Despite the disapproval, they took the map the guard was carrying with him and started down a corridor.

"It's another one of those numbers," Donna pointed to another carving of numbers while the Doctor tried opening a closed door with the sonic. "They're everywhere."

"It's warland, Donna," Renata gave a brief, uninterested glance at the numbers. "It's probably got meaning for those who originally built the tunnels."

It didn't matter for Donna. She guessed they had a meaning that could be useful for them later on. "You got a pen? Bit of paper? Cos, d'you see, the numbers are counting down." The Doctor gave her what she needed despite agreeing with Renata. "This one ends in 1-4, the prison cell said 1-6."

"Always thinking, the three of you. Who are you people?" Jenny smiled at the three of them, unable to answer her question on her own.

"I'm the Doctor," the Doctor said distractedly. The control of the panel was taking longer than he was expecting.

"The Doctor?" Jenny'd waited for him to elaborate but she figured he was purposely being silent again. "That's it?"

"That's all he ever says," Donna gave a shrug beside her. "That's all both of them say, actually."

Renata rolled her eyes at the look Donna gave her. "Excuse me for wanting a bit of privacy. And there's not much we can say about our names."

"So then are you both anomalies too?" Jenny tilted her head as her eyes flickered from the Doctor to Renata.

"No," went the two collectively.

Donna, however, scoffed. "Oh, come off it! You're the most anomalous people I've ever met!"

The Doctor chose to focus on the controls than the ridiculous conversation.

Jenny, though, seemed to be full of questions. "And Time Lords, what are they for exactly?"

Renata shot the young woman a hard look. "For?" she repeated, already sounding upset. "They're not...we're not 'for' anything. We are people, dammit."

"So then what do you do?"

"We travel," the Doctor answered but wasn't really in-tune with the conversation. "Through time and space."

"They save planets, rescue civilizations, defeat terrible creatures. And run a lot," Donna decided to chime in with her own answer. "Seriously, there's an outrageous amount of running involved."

"I haven't done any of that stuff," Renata crossed her arms, but the Doctor had a comment to say about that.

"She just recently started." The blonde Time Lady huffed and shot the Doctor a glare. The Doctor, in turn, just shrugged his shoulders. "What? You did."

A short minute later, they had the door open for them. They crossed through just as Cobb's voice echoed from the distance. They were being followed and very closely too. Even though they had a full plan on just running, they were stopped by several, several, red beams crossing from one and to the other of a tunnel.

"That's not mood lighting, is it?" Donna frowned at the new obstacle because this was one she didn't think she'd be able to get through.

The Doctor decided to test how deadly the beams were by chucking in his clockwork mouse into the tunnel. The beams burst it into pieces before it could even touch ground.

"Doctor..." Renata wearily gazed at the beams. She could hear the men behind them getting far too close for her liking.

"I'm on it!" the Doctor exclaimed and did, to his credit, get to work on the controls of the tunnel. Donna, in the meantime, spotted another plaque of numbers up on the wall.

"There's more of these. Always eight numbers, counting down, the closer we get..."

"The General is coming!" Jenny's eyebrows knitted together as she assessed the incoming danger. Figuring she had to go and terminate it, she made a run back in the direction they'd come in...only to have Renata yank her right back. "What?" frowned Jenny.

"Where do you think you're going?" demanded Renata.

"I can hold them up," Jenny pointed behind them, thinking they'd be able to hear how close they were to being caught.

"And have more dead people on us? I don't think so," Renata pushed Jenny so that she stood right in front of the trio, no chance of escaping.

Jenny huffed like a child would. She turned to face the three with another frown. "But it's them or us!"

"It doesn't mean you have to kill them!" the Doctor threw that idea out there in case Jenny hadn't caught up with it.

Jenny threw both her parents crazed looks. "I'm trying to save your lives!"

The Doctor stopped working altogether - something Renata wasn't quite fond of - and turned Jenny so that she was only facing him. "Listen to me, the killing, after a while it infects you. And once it does you're never rid of it."

From the side Renata watched silently, knowing exactly what he was talking about.

"We don't have a choice," Jenny reiterated to the Doctor, then looked at Renata and Donna to make sure they heard her.

"We always have a choice," the Doctor tried to say but Jenny shook her head.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly before running towards Cobb's group.

The Doctor was, admittedly, shaken by the fact his words hadn't gotten through to Jenny.

"See what I mean?" Renata bitterly folded her arms and kept a gaze straight ahead, even when she could see Donna (from the corner of her eye) giving her a somewhat sympathetic stare. "She's nothing but a soldier."

"She's trying to help," Donna tried being reasonable but Renata shook her head.

The Doctor worked fervently to take down the beams. He heard shooting from behind but he knew if he looked back and caught sight of Jenny, his work on the beams would be lost.

"Cease fire!" they heard Cobb say, and luckily it was right around the time the Doctor brought the beams down.

"That's it!" cheered Donna.

"Jenny!" the Doctor shouted behind. "Let's go!" He waited for Jenny but the woman showed no sign of coming back, or fighting. Frantically, he made the quick decision to get a head start and pulled Renata and Donna down the tunnel.

Jenny, fortunately, came running back to the tunnel a minute later but with her came the rest of the soldiers.

"Oh crap," Renata blurted, and received looks for her uncharacteristic use of language. She just didn't like the way Jenny looked bombarded by the incoming soldiers. "Cross through already!" she still shouted.

Jenny was taking aim on Cobb as if she were going to shoot him but instead fired at a pipeline above. Steam spewed from the pipeline, clouding the area. As she made to move down the tunnel, the beams sprouted again.

"No, no, no, no! The circuit's looped back!" the Doctor exclaimed in panic.

"Zap it back again!" Donna told the Doctor.

"The controls are back there!"

For the first time, Jenny looked properly scared. "They're coming!"

As much as Renata didn't want to admit, she was getting a bit frantic watching Jenny helplessly look around. "Okay, well, we gotta do something!?"

The Doctor agreed but he didn't have the controls anymore. "Wait! J-Just...! There isn't...! Jenny, I can't!"

Jenny huffed a breath after concluding she wouldn't be able to work the controls herself. "It's alright, I'll manage on my own." She sprinted in place for a few seconds before backing away. "Mother, Father, watch and learn!" She took off in a speedy run and did a series of somersaults to get through the beams. She landed on the other side with the trio in a graceful landing.

"No way! But that was impossible!" Donna laughed.

"Not impossible. Just a bit unlikely!" the Doctor looked beyond proud of Jenny and even surprised her with a hug. "You were brilliant!"

Jenny seemed to like his praise, even more his hug. "I didn't kill him." She pulled away with a big grin on her face. "General Cobb, I could have kill him, but I didn't. You were right. I had a choice." She then looked to Renata, still with the same grin on her face. "I did good, right?"

Renata knew she couldn't flatout say 'no' because, well...Jenny had impressed her. "Yeah...you did." The small smile on Renata's face was enough for Jenny to hug her as well. It was fairly amusing (more for Donna than anyone else) to see the petite Jenny hug her tall mother.

~ 0 ~

Even though they were still getting away from Cobb and his soldiers, the group now had the option to walk since the beams would keep the soldiers away for a while. Jenny had positioned herself in-between Renata and the Doctor while they walked down the hallway.

"So, you travel together, but you're not... 'together'?" she asked, her head tilting from Renata to the Doctor.

The Doctor nearly choked on his saliva for the first second. "No!" he blurted.

Renata, on the other hand, stayed quiet but her mind loved reminding her that they almost were a couple long ago. "We just travel," she said in a whisper.

Now Donna, being an outsider for this moment, took note of each reaction from the Time Lords. Once again, something didn't hit well with Renata.

Jenny, for her part, didn't seem to take more interest on the subject. There was something more pressing she wanted to talk about. "What about the travelling? What is that like?"

"Ah, never a dull moment," the Doctor got back to his normal self with that question. A smile came to his face the more he talked about travelling. "It can be terrifying, brilliant and funny - sometimes all at the same time."

Renata smiled to herself because these were the same things she would hear from him when they were younger.

"Oh, I'd love to see new worlds," Jenny said in the same breathless manner the Doctor would use when he was in awe.

"You will," Donna cut in then looked at the Doctor and Renata, "Won't she?"

There was a moment in which they looked at each other, one more unsure than the other but they silently agreed leaving Jenny here was not an option. She'd be left with murderous soldiers who would no doubt turn her into one of them. Neither could bear that.

"I suppose so," Renata ended up staying, and it was enough to make Jenny go wide-eyed.

"You mean...you mean, you'll take me with you!?"

"We can't leave you here, can we?" the Doctor smiled at the petite blonde.

Jenny threw her arms around him and Renata, startling them and bringing them much closer than they were used to. "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! Come on! Let's get a move on!" She pulled away and started the lead in a sprint.

"Careful, there might be traps!" the Doctor's warning flew right over Jenny's head.

"She's definitely your daughter with those listening skills," Renata found herself remarking with a low sigh.

"What!?" the Doctor, offended, turned on her with a frown on his face.

Donna laughed and brought both of their heads to her. "You're definitely getting the part of the parents now." Her comment seemed to pull the two back to reality, back to their own realities which were not so gleeful.

"I don't mean to be a parent," Renata said in a low tone. "I don't think the Doctor means to be one either."

"Why would you say that?" Donna frowned for a moment.

"We've been parents before," Renata said but then thought about her own motherhood and felt the Stu tears at the corner of her eyes. "Well, least you got to meet yours," she said to the Doctor. "Mine didn't make it to the world."

The Doctor silently nodded. He knew, of course, because she'd already told him but he didn't want her to go back to that dark place. Donna, on the other hand, looked mortified that she'd brought Renata to that place.

"Ren, I'm so sorry," the ginger apologized but of course Renata wouldn't blame her. "I didn't know…"

"We know," the Doctor nodded. "But I think Renata and I can agree that...with Jenny around we see everyone we lost. The hole they left, all the pain that filled it. To face that everyday…"

"It won't stay like that. She'll help you," Donna tried to be reassuring for them. "Hell, we both will."

Jenny came running back at the same time the firing started again. "They've blasted through the beams, time to run again. Love the running! Yeah?"

"He does," Renata jerked a thumb at the Doctor. "I like being normal and walk."

"Love the running," the Doctor had to agree and took off with Jenny first.

Renata shook her head at them, clearly disapproving. Donna wouldn't say it out loud but she thought Renata was acting like the mother again.

~0~

After more running indeed, the group of travelers finally made it into the godly spoken temple, which turned out not to be so much of a temple.

"This is a fusion-drive transport. It's a spaceship!" the Doctor was bewildered to find such a thing underground.

"What, the original one?" Donna blinked. "The one the first colonists arrived in?"

"Well, it could be, but the power cells would have run down after all that time," the Doctor said.

"But this looks like it's in great condition," Renata grazed her fingers along the wall.

"It's actually still powered-up and functioning," the Doctor realized with wide-eyes.

Renata stopped to give him a certain look. "That can't be right. Compared to the conditions of the rest of the place…"

But there was a banging on the door, followed by physical cutting of it.

"It's the Hath!" Jenny exclaimed. "That door's not gonna last much longer. And if General Cobb gets through down there, war's gonna break out."

But the Doctor was deep into the ship's screen. "Oh, but look, look, look, look, look! Ship's log! First wave of Human/Hath co-colonisation of planet Messaline."

"So it is the original ship?" Jenny stopped her panicking for a moment. "So what happened?"

"Phase one. Construction. They used robot drones to build the city."

"But, does it mention the war?" Donna asked.

"Final entry... "Mission commander dead. Still no agreement on who should assume leadership. Hath and humans have divided into factions."

"Well, guess we know how this all got started," Renata came to stand beside the Doctor. "The crew divided into two factions and turned on each other. Start using the progenation machines and suddenly you've got two armies fighting a never-ending war!"

Jenny flinched after another banging on the door. "Two armies who are now both outside."

Donna had become interested in what the screen showed next. "Look at that. It's like the numbers in the tunnels."

"Hm, maybe they are important after all," the Doctor remarked.

"I spent six months working as a temp in Hounslow Library, and I mastered the Dewey Decimal System in two days flat. I'm good with numbers! It's staring us in the face!"

"What is?" both Renata and Jenny asked together.

"It's the date! Assuming the first two numbers are some big old space date, then you've got year, month, day. It's the other way round, like it is in America!"

"Ohhh! It's the New Byzantine Calendar!" the Doctor realized.

"The codes are completion dates for each section. They finish it, they stamp the date on! So the numbers aren't counting down, they're going out, from here, day by day, as the city got built."

"Wow, good work Donna," Renata had to hand it to the ginger because she was sure neither she nor the Doctor would have solved that.

"Yeah! But you're, you're still not getting it. The first number I saw back there, was 6012-07-17. Well, look at the date today!"

"07-24," the Doctor read. "Seven days."

"What d'you mean, seven days?" Jenny asked.

"It means it's been seven days since war broke out," Renata explained.

"But they said years!"

"No. They said generations," Donna reminded them. "And if they're all like you, and they're products of those machines…"

"They could have 20 generations in a day!" The Doctor ran a hand through his hair the more he thought about it. "Each generation gets killed in the war, passes on the legend! Ohhh! Donna, you're a genius!"

"But all the buildings, the encampments, they're in ruins," Jenny still had some doubts about the story.

"They're empty," Renata pointed out. "They just need to be populated."

"Oh, they've mythologized their entire history!" the Doctor let his hands drop to his sides. "The Source must be part of that too. Come on!"

Now really curious to see what the Source was, they practically bolted from the place. In their run, they crashed into Martha. Renata was overly happy to see the woman alive and well. She didn't even care that Martha's dirt had gotten on her.

"Thank goodness you're alright!"

Martha laughed. "Of course!"

"We gotta go! We haven't got much time," the Doctor ushered the women forwards after hearing Cobb too close.

"We don't even know what we're looking for!" Donna reminded.

Martha wouldn't walk for a few seconds as she sniffed something in the air. "Is it me, or can you smell flowers?"

Renata smelled the same thing and she nodded. "Hm, you're right."

The group walked through the hallway until they came into a greenhouse, or at least that's what it looked like based on all the plants and glass walls.

"Oh, yes! Yes! Isn't this brilliant?" the Doctor was in awe as he crossed through the exotic plants. He came to the middle of the road where a pedestal stood, holding a glass sphere with a shining ball of gas inside.

"Don't tell me this is the Source," Renata circled the pedestal. "This is what everyone's fighting for."

"It's beautiful," Jenny gawked at it.

"What is it?" asked Martha.

"Terraforming! It's a third generation terraforming device," the Doctor answered.

"So why are we suddenly in Kew Gardens?" Donna would've touched one of the plans but she saw its leaves moving on it own. Definitely not risking getting bitten by some alien plant.

"Because that's what it does. All this, only bigger," the Doctor flapped his arms in the air. "Much bigger! It's in a transit state. Producing all this must help keep it stable before they finally…"

The Hath and the humans broke through and appeared on either side of the travelers. As soon as they saw the other faction, they each took aim.

"You better hold your fire!" Renata warned.

"What is this? Some kind of trap?" Cobb threw her a look she returned with a glare.

"Your salvation, actually. Feel free to listen if you want to live."

The Doctor agreed with her but not in the way she spoke. It definitely made the humans more anxious to prove they were right. "You said you wanted this war over."

"I want this war won," Cobb corrected.

"You can't win. No one can. You don't even know why you're here. Your whole history, it's just Chinese whispers," the Doctor mimicked whispers to his ears. "Getting more distorted the more it's passed on. This-" he pointed at the sphere, "-is the Source. This is what you're fighting over. A device to rejuvenate a planet's ecosystem. It's nothing mystical. It's from a laboratory, not some creator. It's a bubble of gases. A cocktail of stuff for accelerated evolution. Methane, hydrogen, ammonia, amino acids, proteins, nucleic acids. It's used to make barren planets habitable."

"Meaning you need to stop killing each other," Renata cut in. "I mean, there's no point when this is your reality. There should be no fighting when you can all live in peace and harmony. You have the means to do so, that's a lot more than many other civilizations have. I say living above these horrible, dark tunnels where there's sun and warmth has to be better, right?" the silence between the factions didn't sit well with her. Instead, it just made her angry none of them could see the best option for them. "You know what? I'm calling the shots this time. In my war, I didn't get to pick what I had to do. So I'm going to make sure this one ends the way mine should have ended." She practically snatched the Source off its pedestal and threw it to the ground. "IT'S OVER!" She didn't realize what she did until she saw the sphere actually shatter and release the gases into the air. Her chest heaved up and down while it settled in her mind how frantic she was. She didn't mean to do that.

But the gases she freed started shining gold and green as a spread around them in the air. It was actually beautiful and once Renata saw it, she began to calm down. This is how her war should have ended. Because if it had ended like that, she would have still been with her family. Maybe, she would have still had her baby.

Lost in her mind, Renata missed the fact that her awed expression was being replicated on Jenny's. But, the Doctor didn't miss it. He saw it clear as day and felt his hearts warm up.

"What's happening?" Jenny asked the Doctor.

"The gases will escape and trigger the terraforming process," he said. "And a new world will be born."

Jenny laughed. "My mother helped do that."

Renata heard it and looked over her shoulder. She sensed the pride Jenny had, and the fact it was meant for her made Renata feel...good. It wasn't the same type of 'good' that she would get elsewhere. This one was different and she didn't know if it was because it came from Jenny...a part of herself. Renata wondered if that's the feeling a mother would feel when their child was proud of them. Her hands ghosted over her stomach for a minute. Maybe her baby would've had a moment like that too.

Jenny was enchanted with the sight. And what was even better was that her mother's words had actually helped make the two factions see the light. All guns were down and a new friendship was forming. But then Jenny saw Cobb taking aim again, on Renata, and knew what he was going to do. "No!" her scream echoed as she ran towards her mother. When Cobb fired, she took the bullet instead.

Renata didn't even realize it because when she heard the bullet and turned around, Jenny was already in front of her. The soldiers took Cobb down and put their weapons out of their reach.

"No, wait! Wait!" Renata struggled to hold onto Jenny's body. The Doctor rushed to help her and between the two settled Jenny in Renata's arms.

Martha hurried to check Jenny's pulse and the bullet in her chest. At first glance she could tell this wasn't going to end well.

"Is she gonna be alright?" Donna didn't even want to ask but she had to. Things couldn't end like this.

"Jenny, you gotta be strong now, okay?" Renata scrunched her face several times to avoid the tears pooling in her eyes. "You need to hold on. Please, I…" the words were failing her. She looked at the Doctor for some help, but she wasn't stupid. She knew there wasn't much they could do.

The Doctor knew that too. They needed to wait and see if regeneration would kick in. He scooted closer to Renata so that he could better talk with Jenny. "Jenny, we've got things to do, you and us. We can go anywhere. Everywhere. You choose."

Jenny gave a brief nod. "That sounds good."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I wasn't good to you," Renata sniffed. "I have a daughter...and I didn't know what to do. Truth is you would be amazing. The best." She looked up at the Doctor with a small smile. "You'd have the best of your father."

The Doctor shared her smile. "And the best of her mother."

Renata felt the flutter of her hearts but all she could focus on was her daughter in her arms. "You would be amazing, Jenny. So you can't leave. You got that?"

Jenny seemed like she wanted to smile back but instead her eyes closed and the faint movement of her body faded.

"No, n-n-n-no!" Renata exclaimed. "Jenny!"

"Regeneration," the Doctor said as a reminder, but he was frantically clinging to hope as much as she was.

"There's no sign, Doctor," Martha gently said. "There is no regeneration. She's like you two, but... maybe not enough."

"But she…" Renata shuddered and held Jenny close to her. "Not again."

The Doctor watched her slowly crumble as Jenny's death really hit her. The despair was raw and, yet, familiar. They both were no strangers to this, but the Doctor felt like he needed to end Renata's pain. He had the means, after all.

He pressed a kiss to the top of Jenny's head, and surprisingly Renata's. The Time Lady was too deep in her anguish to process that. He stood up and walked directly towards Cobb, picking up a gun on the way. To say Martha and Donna were shocked to see him pressing said gun to Cobb's forehead was an understatement. But this was no ordinary death.

It was a daughter's death. That was a whole other type of pain neither women wanted to feel.

"I never would. Have you got that?" the Doctor's words were laced with darkness, but he did pull the gun from Cobb's head. "I never would!" He left the gun to another soldier then turned to face both factions. "When you start this new world. This world of Human and Hath... remember that! Make the foundation of this society. A man who never would!"

~0~

It was no surprise Renata locked herself in her bedroom, without so much of a goodbye for Martha who was leaving the TARDIS again. Even the Doctor was out of himself as he set the TARDIS down for Martha to leave.

"Jenny was the reason for the TARDIS bringing us here," he said quietly. "It just got here too soon, which then created Jenny in the first place. Paradox. An endless paradox."

"I'm sorry," Martha said, but all he did was nod. It was all she was going to get.

"I'll walk you out," Donna said just so Martha wouldn't leave without any sort of goodbye.

"You take care of them, please," Martha told Donna once they were outside on the street. "I know they seem dysfunctional, but... they're good together."

Donna knew that Martha knew a lot more about Renata and the Doctor as a whole, but of course Martha would never tell a stranger. "I can try but...I think it'll take a while for Renata to get over this one. Even the Doctor might take a while."

Martha nodded and stopped walking. She looked back at the TARDIS and sighed. "Be patient with them, please, especially with Renata. I know Renata can seem closed off, rude...but there's more to her than meets the eye. Took me a whole year to be actual friends with her, but I think you can do that in less time."

"Why?" Donna made an actual face that had Martha laugh for a moment.

"Because you're...you, Donna. Maybe you can do what I couldn't get Renata to do."

"Well, what does that mean?"

Martha smiled and put a hand on Donna's arm. "You'll figure it out. Good luck."

Donna didn't know what to say when Martha left. She turned back for the TARDIS, but as she headed for the blue box she felt things wouldn't be normal for a long time.

[builder051]

Prompt for you, I hope you find it interesting (if not, please feel free to decline): Peter sees a corpse up close for the first time in a battle and gets kind of shocked and throws up, Tony tries to make him feel better. Thank you!

This is fairly similar to one I’ve already done, but also slightly different, so again I’m unable to tell if you requested this because you read and liked the other one, or if you haven’t seen the other one yet.  This particular topic isn’t my cup of tea right now, so I’m going to paste the other fic below (obvious warning for death talk).

_____

The kid’s as good as frozen as the team files back onto the jet.  They’re all relieved to be leaving the scene.  They won, but it’s the kind of victory that leaves enough carnage behind to still feel like a loss.  The fact that the city hall building still stands at the end of the block in nowhereville, Pennsylvania doesn’t mean a lot when you’ve watched a woman bleed out on the sidewalk beside you.  Especially when your webs caught all the bullets in the round except that one.

Steve watches as Peter walks up to a window seat and stops.  His glazed eyes fix on the little care package the flight crew left on the chair.  The kid sorely needs a bottle of water and a protein bar, but he seems incapable of even moving the insulated bag so he can sit down.

Tony comes up behind the kid and puts a hand on his shoulder.  It’s meant to be a comforting gesture, but Peter sags under its weight.  His shoulders hunch forward, and his knees start to buckle.  The stumble seems to bring him to his senses.  Peter sits, and Tony continues to stand over him for a moment, his mouth slightly open.

Steve’s been on the receiving end of exchanges like that before.  His own father lovingly roughing him up a little, either too optimistic or too oblivious about his son’s state of health.  He fully understands why Tony lets out a quiet sigh and turns to take his own seat across the aisle.  Steve feels a little bad for his own father too.

The jet prepares for takeoff, and the automated voice over the intercom tells the team to fasten their seatbelts.  Peter stays stiff.  He doesn’t even move his head to subconsciously look for the disembodied speaker.  Even the team members who have grown up with technology still have the instinct.

Steve gets to his feet.  He changes rows in two steps and slides into the seat beside Peter.  “Hey,” Steve whispers.  He secures his seatbelt, then reaches to help the kid.  “Just gonna buckle you in, ok?”

Peter blinks.  Exhales.  Steve takes it as a positive that the kid doesn’t protest.  But then he swipes his fist under his eye and mutters, “What’s the point?”

Peter’s voice is so quiet that his tone’s hard to pin down.  There isn’t outright anger.  Maybe a hint of petulance, but no fire.  Sadness, but no tears.  The kid sounds hopeless.

No matter what Steve says, it’s not going to be what Peter wants to hear.  Steve’s supposed to be good at reaching people.  His stint as the star-spangled man with a plan gave Steve a memory bank full of one-liners meant to incite pep and enthusiasm.  America’s public schools seem to think people will still listen to him, that they’ll come out on the other end of a 15-minute video with renewed motivation to be good citizens.  But high schoolers are tough customers, and the videos are bullshit.  Even Steve knows that.

Peter moves his jaw around.  He presses his lips together.  The kid’s whole face is trembling a little.  He gives Steve a microscopic glance, then drops his eyes back to his lap.

Too much time has passed.  Steve’s blown his chance to give a meaningful response.  Anything he does now is going to seem calculated and desperate.  Which it will be anyway, but he’d held onto a shred of hope that Peter wouldn’t notice.

But who’s he kidding?  Peter’s fifteen.  Adult enough to want to stay out till midnight, but too nervous to open the door to pay the pizza man.  His world revolves around video games and science tests.  He trusts his teachers and his mentors.  He doesn’t want them to lie to him, and he can tell when they do.

Peter’s a normal kid.  Avengers be damned.  He should be worrying about homework and movie dates.  International politics should be something he sees on TV, not unfolding in violence right before his eyes.  If he even chooses to care about the news.

Peter is the type to care, though.  It takes him a tick above his classmates.  He’s quiet kid at the back of the gym who only pretends to roll his eyes when the instructional video ends.  He doesn’t need Captain America to talk to him about integrity; he already has it.  At this moment, he has more than Steve does.

Steve sighs.  It’s the same sound Tony made.  He’s in the same place now, caught between a lie and a let-down.  “There isn’t one,” Steve finally says.  “Seatbelts are just some kind of required standard.”  SHIELD’s aircraft are too smooth to need the restraints.  They even have stabilizers specifically for aerial combat.

It’s yet another thing that separates them from mere mortals, the people who ride on clunky commercial planes, who don’t have body armor to protect them from random acts of violence.  Steve regrets steering the conversation that way, but instead of feeling guilt, he’s washed in relief when the tear rolls down Peter’s cheek.

“I just…” the kid breathes.  “I never…”  He shakes his head, the motion slight at first, then rapid, as if he’s jostling his thoughts into focus.  Or maybe out of focus.  “I fucked up.”

Steve doesn’t hear the curse, or even the sentence.  He zeros in on the hitch in Peter’s voice and the sobs visibly swelling in his chest.  The dam is breaking, and Steve has to let it.  The best he can do is hold on and weather the flood.

“No,” Steve says, as gently and firmly as he can.  “You didn’t.”  He lays his palm flat over Peter’s forearm.  Flecks of dried blood crust the fabric of his suit.  Most people probably couldn’t distinguish them from the crimson material, but Steve can.  He knows Peter can too.  “You didn’t.”

“But I…” Peter gasps.  “There was one.  I missed one.”

There’s no way to mitigate it.  Missing one quiz question is still a good grade.  On the boardroom side of war, passes and failures are measured in much the same way: kill statistics organized as rights versus wrongs, friends versus foes.  But it doesn’t look that way to the soldiers on the ground.  Steve was too wrapped up in determination to find Bucky to remember the first time he’d fought with intent to kill, but he’s heard a lot of stories.  All of them have the same core.  Reality sets in with a rush of unfeelable feelings that turn primal and make people fight and flee and throw up.

“One.  I missed one,” Peter repeats on the gust of an exhale.  His breath’s coming unevenly.  Steve doesn’t want to tell the kid to calm down, but he’s going to hyperventilate.

“Peter, listen to me,” he starts.

“One.  I…one.”  Peter’s throat works.  His chin drops to his chest; his muscles go taught.

“Pete?”

The first gag almost passes for a sob, but the second is unmistakably a sound of illness.  Peter vomits hard, bringing up acid and thick, putrid fluid, evidence of the toll adrenaline’s already taken on his digestive system.

There aren’t any air sickness bags.  There’s rarely a need for them, and no industry standard forces their presence.  Peter retches into his lap before he leans forward and continues to heave over the floor.

“Ok, it’s ok,” Steve intones.  He wraps one arm around Peter’s chest to keep his clammy forehead from bouncing off the seat in front of him.  He doesn’t care about the warmth of bile seeping through his sleeve.  It’s messy, but it feels like progress.

“You’re gonna be fine.  It’s gonna pass.”  Steve gives the kid a pat on the back.  Peter hiccups.  He dry heaves one final time, then makes a pathetic sputtering sound.  He sits up weakly and wipes his mouth.

“I’m…” Peter chokes.  Spit and tears shine on his chin.  “I’m s—”

“Shh.  It’s ok.”  Steve doesn’t want to hear him say it.  He doesn’t want the kid to be sorry.  He doesn’t want him to have to worry about anything ever again, but that’s not feasible.  The least he can do is keep him from feeling bad about the mess.

Something flutters in Steve’s peripheral vision.  A paper towel.  Steve grabs it without looking at who’s offering.  He gives Peter’s face a good wipe before letting him shakily latch onto it along with a shred of dignity.

“I have Zofran,” Tony’s voice says.  Steve looks over his shoulder at him, still decked out in is Iron Man suit and rummaging in the first-aid kit.  “Tranqs, too, but I don’t know if, you know, a nap would help…”  Worry edges out the sheepishness on his face, but Steve feels bad for him again.  He’s just doing his best, addressing the problems he can see with the tools in his reach.

It’s unusual for Tony to defer to Steve.  Even more so for Steve to defer to someone else.  But he can’t make this call.  “What do you think?” he asks Peter.  “You want to take something for your stomach?  Or something to help you relax?”

Peter slowly shakes his head.  “I…  I think I’ll just ride it out,” he whispers.

“Ok.”  Steve nods.  He glances at Tony.  “We can do that.”

Tony looks at Steve.  Then back to Peter.  He closes the first-aid kit.  “Yeah,” he says.  “We can do that.”

[hela-avenger]

Young God- Final

Author: hela-avenger

Word Count: 2185

Summary: Loki reunites with a loved one and though he expected to be welcomed with open arms, he simply finds the opposite instead.

A/N: And here’s the final part! 

Part 1 - Part 2 - Final

It has been so long since you’ve used your sight. You recalled the inconvenience that it brought to you when you were younger. You had no control over it back then and the visions would appear every time you touched someone. This almost led you to a fatal accident if it wasn’t for Heimdall who had seen it all happen and came to your aid.

With the help of Heimdall and Queen Frigga, you mastered your sight to be used only under your will. Doing so led for you to make a name for yourself in the royal court. It was your duty to make sure that history didn’t repeat itself so your power was used for the good of Asgard. It was during that time that you grew close to the princes and ultimately led you to fall in love with Prince Loki.

You let out a sigh as you recalled your wedding day. It was one of the happiest days of your life and now it was just a bitter reminder of how it all ended.

You shook those memories away as you started to clear up some space in your room to meditate. You lit candles around the room and made sure to have your door closed to wade of unwanted visitors.

Uncertainty ran through your whole body due to the fact that you knew your powers were untamed and strong for its long unuse. You feared of what would happen if someone were to interrupt you once you were in a trance. You had no intention of creating chaos within the secured ship.

With a deep breath, you closed your eyes and began to concentrate. This would be so much easier if you had your wedding ring to anchor you to Loki, but now you would have to do this the hard way and hope you don’t get dragged too far into the vision.

You started to tug at the unused power within you. It started to grow and quickly spread everywhere in your body. You tried to slow it down but it kept pouring everywhere and it overpowered you so easily. You let out a gasp and your sight becomes consumed by gold as you start to see everything all at once.

The memories…

There were so many memories.

Valkyrie was drunkenly making her way down the hall when she noticed the low light emitting from your room. She knew it was too late in the night for anyone to be awake so she wondered what you could possibly be up to now. The lights coming from your room grow harsher and Valkyrie becomes wary as she feels the light static of magic in the air.

Concerned, Valkyrie bursts into the room only to find you floating in mists of gold. Your eyes are consumed by gold and she makes the mistake of looking into them.

Her grip on the wine bottle weakens and it falls onto the ground, breaking into a thousand pieces. Valkyrie drops to her knees as her body constricts to the influx of memories that burn through her mind.

Hela, the Valkyries, her lover…

Death, darkness, despair…

Drunken nights, pointless bar fights, Sakaar…

Unwanted memories flash through her sight and Valkyrie feels weak and vulnerable once again. She finds herself on hands and knees gasping for much needed air.

Valkyrie looks up to find you in the same state. The gold in your eyes was gone but it was replaced with deep sorrow now.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize as tears start to form in your eyes. “I-I didn’t me-mean to make you remember all of th-that… I-I had n-no control… I’m sorry.”

Seeing you so broken reminded of Valkyrie of the emotional scars she tried so hard to forget. She wanted no reminder of it so Valkyrie gathered her strength and willed herself to stand.

“You’re no different than him,” she responds as she recalled the little trick that Loki had done to her back in Sakaar. “Have you no honor to leave the past be. Both of you are incessant and selfish. It’s clear now that you two are simply meant to be.”

Without another word, Valkyrie turns on her heel and leaves you on your own. Your room was now void of light as the candles were no match to the magic that had previously lingered in the air.

You were still trying to overcome the memories that remained in your mind. It wasn’t your intention to target Valkyrie but she had come into your line of sight so suddenly and you couldn’t stop yourself from seeing all of her.

You wanted to try again but it was too soon to tap into that magnitude of power. It was obvious to you know that your power has grown tremendously in the absence of its use. You feared that some power still lingered in your system, but knew that only time could dispel of it.

As you rose from the floor, you take notice of your sore limbs and how fatigue called for you to sleep. Having no other choice, you move to your bed and let sleep consume you.

A bright light consumes your room and stirs you from your sleep. You blink harshly into the light and take notice of the shining star that the ship was passing by at the moment. You groan against the burning light and drag the covers over your head in hopes that it would block out the harsh brightness.

It didn’t.

A chuckle echoes through the room before the room succumbs to darkness once more.

“You’re still not a morning person, I see…”

Recognizing the voice, you slowly bring the covers down and open your eyes to find Loki reclining on your doorway. You turn your focus towards the window and find that a dark screen had risen to block out the starlight.

“Thank you,” you whisper as you sit on your cot and brush your hair down in an attempt to tame it.

“Stop,” Loki calls out to you causing your eyes to meet his once more. “You look lovely as always.”

You had to fight very hard to stop the blush from rushing to your face. You had to be mad at him. You couldn’t let his words easily win you over.

“What are you doing here?” you ask him as you look away.

Loki lets out a sigh as he sees you pull up a wall again. The distance between the two of you was growing and Loki wished for it to stop.

“Valkyrie drunkenly cursed me out last night,” Loki explained to her. “Your name came up a couple of times and from what I gathered in her drunken slur you delve too deep into your powers. I feared for your health so I came by to make sure you were alright.”

“I’m fine,” you assure him. “I got… I got caught up, that’s all. I’m fine now.”

Loki sensed there was something you weren’t telling him in the way that you bashfully looked down onto the ground and avoided his eyes overall.

“What were you trying to see, Y/N?”

Ashamed of the answer, you remained silent proving to Loki that he was indeed right that you were hiding something.

“Was it me?” Loki asked you. “Were you looking into me?”

“Why would I want to look into you, Loki?” you remark with a roll of your eyes.

“Answering a question with a question proves that it was me,” Loki concludes with a small smirk as he steps into your room. “For whatever reason would you set your sight on me?”

“Because mischief follows you everywhere and I wanted to see what troubles you’ve gotten yourself into,” you reply with annoyance.

Loki still knew you were lying but knew better than to force it out of you. That would only cause the rift between you to spread.

“Did you find what you wanted?” Loki asks.

Silence filled the room as you distracted yourself with the loose thread on your sheet. Loki takes the initiative and moves to take a seat across from you on your bed. You reluctantly look up and find Loki patiently awaiting your answer.

“No,” you sigh out. “I didn’t have an anchor so I got consumed by memories so quickly and then Valkyrie came into the room and well… you know the rest.”

Loki could see how much it took for you to answer his simple question. Your defiance was slowly fading away and only honesty remained. Loki knew that you deserved just as much as you were giving out. So for the first time in his life, Loki decided to be completely honest.

“Ask me what you wanted to know,” Loki tells her. “I’ll answer with the truth.”

You were caught off-guard by this and scanned his face for any markers of deceit. You were surprised to find that there were none.

The question was at the tip of your tongue but you grow nervous in the way his eyes intensely stayed on yours.

“Were you… Were you ever unfaithful?” you ask him.

You watch him shrink back at the question and his eyes shift away from yours. A tense silence fills the room as Loki attempted to compose himself.

“I…” Loki starts to say as his eyes remained lowered.

Before he could respond further, his hands lay on top of yours to stop their slight shaking. His green eyes set on yours and remain there. He takes a deep breath and proceeds once more.

“I watched you,” Loki confesses. “Time and time again I saw how you mourned for me. Any sane person would have left me after all the chaos that I wrought, but after all I put you through, you remained my wife; honest and faithful. And because I love you… I knew you deserved the same from me.”

“Did you just call me insane?” you can’t help but ask.

“From all I’ve confessed to you, that’s what you respond with?” Loki laughs out.

You want to smile, you really do, but you can’t. You’re not ready to forgive him yet.

“You love me?” you ask him quietly.

Loki could see the insecurity and vulnerability on your face and it broke him that he was the cause of it.

“Of course I do,” he answers as he moved forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead. You were shaking and Loki pulled you into his arms pressing another kiss on the crown of your head. “Of course I love you, Y/N.”

“Oh thank the Gods,” you whisper in relief as you succumbed to his touch. “This all would have been embarrassing if you didn’t.”

Loki couldn’t help but smile at your response.

“Was this your intention?” Loki asked you as he pulled away to look at you. “Did you miss me?”

“You know I missed you. You watched me, remember?” you respond causing Loki to sigh. “I just… I just wanted to understand why you would do all of this in the first place. I just wanted answers.”

“There is no real reason for the things I do,” Loki tells her. “You’ll waste your time trying to understand me.”

“I don’t mind putting in the effort,” you whisper. “At one point, I thought I knew everything about you, but you’ve grown and changed since then and so have I. I’ll like to get to know you again, Loki. I’m willing to spend the rest of my life doing so.”

“Are you…” Loki starts to ask. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

You nod encouragingly to him.

“Be my husband again, Loki,” you tell him.

The smile on his lips light his face up and you can’t help yourself from placing a kiss on those same lips. He tastes the same and feels the same and is the same. He’s the same young god you fell in love with and you wouldn’t want it any other way.

“Let’s make this official, shall we?” Loki asks you as he pulls the ring out of his pocket.

You couldn’t help but smile as the snake ring slipped out of his hand and wrapped itself around your finger. The tail locked itself into the snake’s mouth and the emeralds glistened brightly.

It was by this finishing touch that the last of your lingering power decided to make an appearance once more. It latched itself to your designated anchor and your vision is snatched by a scene from a recent past.

Loki is walking through Odin’s Trophy Room and pauses briefly at the sight of the Tesseract. A thought of taking it flickers in his mind, but he strolls past it to fulfill the task that Thor has set upon him. Loki makes a brief exit, but not before he takes up the tesseract for himself.

You let out a gasp and shy away from Loki’s touch as if it had burned you. Loki watched you with concern as the gold in your eyes faded away.

“Oh Loki,” you whisper in disappointment. “What have you done?

A/N: So yeah there’s my kinda happy ending? This is how I wanted to end the story and who knows? Maybe I’ll come back and add another part.

Anyway... I’m creating a new Loki series called Bottled Emotions which will probably range from 15 or more parts that will be filled with fluff and angst and cranky Loki so comment/message if you’ll like to be tagged on that!

Tags: @jmb959 @lyssamorgan @red608 @shadowzombie25 @fanartgirl2313 @wickedisrising @hp-hogwartsexpress @xo-tom-holland-xo @damalseer @fangirl-127 @trashyemonerd @gpoy-pokemon  @cosmetologynerd @aquawomxn @bit-bot0711 @teresaoliva20 @1800-fight-me @genie-in-disguise  @winter111502 @thefeministavenger @bluephoenix394 @hellocookiecutter @princessofthalia @astudyoftimeywimeystuff @yehummno  @barnes-toddpartnersinheartbreak  @teenwolflover1217  @petlaufeyson 

[devlinmea-stories]

Personal Trainer

It was a hot night, I thought wiping the sweat from my brow.  I'd been jogging for the past 30 minutes in the near stifling heat, but I was dedicated to my workouts.  Not only was it important for me to stay in shape, but it was my job as well.  Being a personal trainer can be an interesting job.  You meet all sorts of people, in various stages of health, and it's my job to see them improve their lives.  Sometimes it's a daunting task, sometimes it's easy.  And sometimes I receive calls from clients who want me to offer more than just an exercise regimine to them.  Those are the clients I long for.

As I walked into the house, I noticed two messages on my cell phone.  The first was from Sandra, a long-time client, who  I had been offering more... personal things to.  She asked me to come over for another session soon as she missed me.  I smiled thinking of our last session together.  I loved how I had her begging to suck me off.  She had turned into such a slut.

The second call was intriguing.  It was from a woman named Beth who said she was looking for a personal trainer and I had been recommended by a friend.  Mmmm, I thought, a new client might be just what I needed right now.  Not for the money, mind you, but it was for the full experience of breaking in a woman; making her submit to my every wish.  I could feel my cock twitch at the thought of it.

It wasn't late, so I called Beth back.  We talked for a few minutes about what she was looking for and what I had to offer, and I scheduled an appointment for the next day.  The first session was an evaluation session, to determine how well the client performs and to determine how well they could be trained.

I was excited and needed a little relief.  So I called a young client of mine, Carol, a college student who lives just a few miles away and told her to meet me at the curb.  I toweled off and grabbed my keys.  I met her at the curb as I told her, she had learned to never be late for me and was dressed appropriately.  Oh, how I love to see my clients obey my wishes.  She had on a jogging bra that was just a little too small for her large frame.  Her breasts were pressed in tightly, straining to be released.  Her nipples were hard and made lovely little points in the front.  She also wore light jogging shorts and as always, no panties.

She got into the car as I drove up and we drove quickly to a nearby secluded spot where she proceeded to give me head for the next 30 minutes.  She was so good at it, so young and eager to please.  I had so enjoyed breaking her in and teaching her how to please her man.  Her body was so incredibly tight and such fun to fuck.

When she finished licking up my cum I felt so relaxed.  I told her to play with herself for me this time.  She shed her clothes quickly and easily and proceeded to masturbate just for my pleasure.  I was too tired to respond as much as I wanted to, but she was able to easily keep me excited.  As I ordered, she came very hard on her own hands.  She was so born to cum.  She looked so beautiful laying back against the door, legs splayed wide, two fingers in her wet pussy.

I told her to dress and then took her back home.  She had serviced me well and I knew I'd sleep good that night.

    *****

I went to Beth's house the next day, showing up precisely at 10 o'clock.  She was dressed in a baggy t-shirt and sweatpants, ready to work out.  They were baggy, hiding her body well.  I could tell she was well proportioned, and her choice in clothing was perhaps comfortable for her, but would obviously have to be changed for something more... appropriate.  Her house was beautiful, in a nice suburb.  We went over some basic introductions and she told me she was 35, had no kids, but had a husband.  She seemed a little reluctant to talk about him, as if he really wasn't in the picture so much.  I had the distinct impression she wasn't happy with her marriage at the moment.

We moved into the basement where she had set up a small gym.  She had a good variety of weights and general equipment, but I made a note of other things she would need to buy.  Then it was my time to start the process.

"I'm a very strict trainer, Beth.  Do you understand that?" I asked

"Yes, my friend Heather said you were.  But she said you could really help me."  I remembered Heather.  A very luscious 40-year-old housewife that was really into being whipped.  I always had fun with her.

"Heather should know, I whipped her into shape quickly."

"I saw that.  That's what I need."  Beth was almost begging me to help her.  I was elated.

"My methods are somewhat... ummm... unconventional, but do work wonders.  My clients are required to follow every instruction.  I will leave if the client is not dedicated to the process.  Do you think you can follow my instructions, no matter how strange you think them?"  Mmmm, I was waiting patiently.  I could feel my cock twitching when I thought of ordering her to do such nasty things.

"Yes.  I think I can."

"Very good.  I expect to be here a lot for the first few weeks, nearly every day, in order to get your training off to a good start.  Then we can reduce it.  Will you have the time to workout that regularly?"

"Oh yeah.  My husband works all the time and won't be around to interrupt at all."

"Good.  So let me see what we have to work with.  Put your hands on your head please and stand still."  She put her hands on the top of her head as I moved around behind her.  My hand stroked her shoulders, feeling the muscles underneath.  I then moved my hands down her back along her spine then back up along her sides.  She moved a little, as if I had tickled her.  "Did that tickle?" I asked.

"A little," she answered meekly.

Mmmm, just the answer I wanted.  I knew she would be such a good subject and student for me.  Both of my hands moved around to her abdomen as I moved close behind her.  My arms were almost hugging her to me.  She was breathing heavily, getting excited by my touch.  "Your body is very nice," I said.

"Thank you."

"I'm going to touch your skin now," I said, sliding my hands under her shirt.  She gasped but held her position.  My hands moved up over her abdomen, feeling the softness of her skin there.  "We'll have to do some ab work to give you that hardbody look," I told her.  She nodded, unable to say anything.  I pressed into her from behind so that my erection slid between her ass cheeks.  That made her moan a little, but she didn't complain or move from her position.

My hands moved higher until I felt the protrusion of her bra-encased breasts.  I slid my hands along the underside, wondering just what that soft flesh would feel like bare against me.  My hands moved up along the sides of her breasts to her upper chest, feeling her muscles there.  "And we'll have to give plenty of work to your chest too.  It feels very nice and soft right now."  I began to slowly grind into her ass as my hands descended lower, over her bra and down until I was cupping her breasts firmly.  "Very nice," I said squeezing them and letting my fingers swirl over her hardening nipples.

Beth just stood there, moaning softly, her hands on the top of her head.  She didn't move from her position at all and was obviously getting very excited.  "I... I don't think..." she started to protest.

"You're right, you don't think.  You just do as I tell you," I ordered.  Being a natural submissive, she stopped talking  and continued to follow my orders.  I pulled my hands from her breasts and walked around in front of her.  I looked up and down her body approvingly.  I wanted her to think she had to work for my approval.

"You have a very nice body, Beth.  You are in fairly good shape, but I think I can make you a lot better off.  But I can't determine how good you're doing when you hide your body like that."

I paused for a moment for effect.  I wanted her to think about what I was saying.  She stood there silently, panting softly.

"Take off your t-shirt," I ordered.  She hesitated, looking at me questioningly.  "I told you my methods would seem unconventional.  But in order to be sure you're improving, I must see your body.  Do you wish to continue?"

She looked confused and conflicted for a moment but then her hands lifted her t-shirt over her head and off, tossing it aside.  Her breasts looked so magnificent in her bra.

"Now, I want you to wear sports bras during our sessions so I can see your muscles moving.  Is that clear?"

"Yes," she answered, barely whispering it.  She seemed so embarrassed standing there in front of me, yet so excited as well.  Her nipples were very hard and pointed.

"Now your legs too.  Take off the sweat pants."  I held my hands on my hips, looking very demanding.

"But I'm not..." she began to protest, but I cut her off.

"Take off your sweat pants so I can see your legs.  Stop giving me excuses."

She again hesitated but her hands eventually moved to the waistband and began moving them down.  When she stood back up, I could see why she hesitated.  She was wearing thong underwear that seemed to barely cover her pussy.  She had to have been shaved bare or trimmed well to hide anything behind the thin material.  She looked at me and obviously saw my approving stare at her undergarmet.  She blushed in embarrassment.

"Very nice," I commented.  I moved her over to the workout bench and had her lay on it.  "This will be a little uncomfortable for you, but I must do this for my evaluation.  I want you to grab the bars here and not move unless I tell you to."  She nodded a little and grabbed the support bar as instructed.

I knelt beside her, facing her.  I placed my hand on her far hip and ran it down her leg as I looked right at her.  She was looking away from me, obviously embarrassed, yet obviously very turned on.  The desire she felt in her body far outweighed the wrongness she felt in her mind.  It couldn't be wrong if she felt it and if she wanted it so badly, could it?

My hand massaged her thigh for a moment, feeling the firmness of her muscles before it moved down and did the same for her calf.  On the trip up her body, it caressed and massaged the inside of the leg closest to me.  I felt her open her thighs a little as if desiring more contact.  My hand tickled her inner thigh as I pinched it with my fingers.  My knuckles then brushed against her pussy, on the outside of her thong and she gave a quick gasp.  But she maintained her position.

I stood and knelt at the foot of the bench, putting my hands on her knees.  I moved them apart, slowly and she didn't resist me.  I bent forward, letting both of my hands move up her thighs until both were touching her thong.  She pulled her legs apart, in obvious desire, but I just let my fingers trace along the outside of the material.  I could see a wet spot forming in the material over her cunt and it made my mouth water.

My fingers stroked her along the edge of the material for a moment.  Then my left hand hooked beneath it, pulling it aside, while my right hand began stroking right on her labia.  She moaned loudly at the lovely sensations I was generating in her body.  I got my finger all nice and wet with her juices and then slowly eased it into her.  I watched her for her reaction and enjoyed watching her eyes screw shut and her mouth open as she licked her lips.  She longed for me to touch her like this.

I pushed my finger in as deep as it would go.  "I want you to squeeze my finger as hard as you can," I said, boldly.  She complied and I felt her pussy contract all around my finger, squeezing it.  Not as hard as I could train it, but not too bad.  I could tell she'd be a tight fuck alright.  "Ok, now relax."  I slowly pulled my finger out and then gave her clit a quick swirl with it.  She pressed her hips up at the contact, almost ready to burst.  I sucked on my finger for a moment, tasting her savory juices.

I dropped my finger back onto her clit once again and began to circle it.  "Ok, I've finished with my evaluation.  I think you'll be a fine student."  She nodded her head and smiled, but still didn't open her eyes.  I could tell she was really enjoying my finger on her clit.  "You must follow all of my instructions, however, or you can find yourself another trainer.  Do you understand?"

"Ummm, oh... yes," she moaned.  Her body started moving a little on the bench, obviously loving the pleasure swirling through her.

"I can teach you a lot of things... about working out... and about enjoying yourself.  Is that what you want?"

"Oh, god... please... yes."  Her body was trembling and she gripped the bench support tightly.

I rubbed faster and harder, giving her so much instant pleasure.  It was only seconds before she came hard, her body quivering and trembling with aftershocks.  She was moaning loudly now.

"I will be here again tomorrow at 9:00.  Please be ready for me."  I stood and gathered my things while she continued to rest on the bench.  "Please show me out," I ordered her.  She opened her eyes and was smiling broadly.  She stood and began searching for her clothes.  "You can stay like that."

"But I'm not dressed..." she protested.

"You're dressed beautifully.  Stay like that until I leave."

She blushed and led the way back up the stairs to the front door.  I neglected to tell her that the front of the thong was still pulled aside, exposing her pussy, but I doubt that would have lessened her embarrassment at all.

I left, knowing I'd have a fun time thanking Heather for the referral.

    *****

The riding crop felt good in my hand as it swished through the air and cracked against Heather's fair skin.  She winced and groaned in a delightful combination of pain and pleasure as she hung from chains in the ceiling of her basement.  Her hands were bound together above her as she stood, partially bent over, pushing her ass back towards me.

"Nine," she moaned, keeping a count of the strikes as I had ordered.

"Mmmm, your ass is so lovely when it's red like this," I said smiling.  I caressed it a moment, letting her feel the coolness of my hand and the painful tracks of the crop.  "You did well bringing Beth to me, my slut."

"Thank you Master," she moaned.  She was wearing a blindfold over her eyes and had a ball gag around her neck, ready for insertion back into her beautiful mouth again.

THWACK

"Uh, oh god... Ten."

I set the crop down and moved in front of her.  She was partially hanging from the chains attached to the ceiling and partially standing.  I pinched her nipples between my fingers hard for a moment and then rolled them more softly.

"Maybe I'll have you help me train one of my new sluts some time.  Would you like that?"

Heather groaned at the attention her nipples were getting.  "Anything for you, Master," she moaned again.

I loved the way her nipples looked when they were hard like that.  I moved to the table nearby and looked over the fine array of items on display there.  At my direction, she had gone and purchased a lovely array of sex toys for our sessions.  I picked up two suction cups and placed them over her nipples.  I pumped them several times until the flesh within was expanded into the hard rubber cup.  Heather moaned at the lovely sensation.  It was the most exquisite thing she'd ever felt on her nipples before.

"I would love to have you help me," I whispered into her ear.  "You'd have so much fun doing it, too, wouldn't you?  You'd enjoy teasing another woman like I tease you."

"Yessssss... oh god.... I would."

I then grabbed a large dildo from the table, one of her favorites, and moved behind her.  I rubbed it along her thighs for a moment letting her feel the ridges and letting it get a little lubricated from the copious juices that ran down them.  She loved being spanked and whipped and it showed.  She was one hot woman right now, right on the edge of a massive orgasm after being denied the last 2 hours together.

"I'm sure I'd have to hold you back," I laughed.  She spread her legs for me and I inserted the fake cock into her pussy, pushing it deeply and twisting it to and fro as it speared her.  She groaned louder as she felt it invade her vagina and stretch her wide open.

I grabbed a firm hold and pulled it out quickly followed by a shove just as deep.  I fucked her with long, quick thrusts for a moment, getting her so excited and frustrated.  Then, wrapping my arm around her so I could play with her clit, I started with fast strokes, working to get her off.  My fingers knew just how to tease and please her as the dildo did it's job inside her.  In moments she was straining at her bonds cumming loudly.

I laughed as her hips pushed back into me, knowing this was the first in a series of orgasms for tonight.  My standard treat for a referral.

    *****

I rang the doorbell at Beth's house at exactly 9:00am the next morning.  I had gotten a lovely sleep last night after such a long and tiring day with clients.  To my surprise and anger, she was wearing the same baggy outfit as yesterday.

"I told you not to wear that outfit," I said angrily, closing the door behind me.

She protested weakly.  "I didn't have time to get another outfit yet."

"Always the same, excuses.  I understand if you don't want me to train you.  But tell me now before I waste any more of my time."  I had my hands on my hips, ready to leave.

"No, no..." she plead.  "I do want you to train me."  She started to cry.

"Then you have to do as I tell you. Do you understand that?"

"Yes..." She was going to continue with another excuse, but I stopped her.

"Then take off your clothes.  Now!" I ordered.  "All of them.  You will be punished for disobeying me."

She was very red with embarrassment as we stood in her living room.  She looked at me, dejected, and started removing her clothes.  She was a beautiful woman, just a little out of shape, but with a terrific body waiting to be trained.  When she finished disrobing, she stood covering herself with her hands.

"Put your hands on your head and keep them there," I ordered moving closer to her.  She obeyed me and her breasts thrust out wonderfully.  I stood in front of her, glaring at her, while my hands caressed her breasts, teasing her nipples until they were very hard.  I reached into the pocket of my shorts and produced two nipple clips connected by a silver chain.  I was expecting her to disobey me and was definitely prepared.

I squeezed her right nipple between my fingers and she winced.  I slipped the clamp onto it as she watched me.  I then repeated it with the other nipple.  She had that beautiful look that combined pain with pleasure.  She'd never been tortured so well before.  She was often seen as the prim and proper lady, not a woman naked and being teased.

"Keep your hands there," I said moving behind her.  I put my hands on her hips and moved her until she was standing in front of the couch, facing away from it.  I sat on the edge with her ass right in front of my face.  "You've been a very bad girl, and bad girls get punished, don't they?"

"Yes."  She was trembling, due to both fear and excitement.  I'm not sure which emotion was stronger right now, but I could certainly smell her arousal.

"And how do bad girls get punished, Beth?"  My hands were stroking her ass.

"They get... uh... spanked?"  The way she shivered was sending pleasure coursing through me.  I felt my erection throbbing in my pants.

"That's right.  I'm going to spank you and I want you to count off every one.  Miss one and I will start all over.  Do you understand?"

"Yessss," she mumbled, not sure how this was going to feel.

SMACK!  My hand slapped right onto her ass cheek making it jiggle a little.

"Ouch!... One," she moaned.

"All I want to hear is the number, Beth.  No begging, no pleading for me to stop.  You will accept this punishment because you know it will make you a better person.  It will give you the discipline you want, that you long for."

SMACK!  I struck the same cheek once again.

She was panting now.  "Two," she breathed.  She squirmed a little, as if the excitement was getting to her but she didn't want to admit it or move away from it.

I continued to strike her and she continued counting.  When I reached 10 her ass was a lovely shade of red.  She was panting, obviously excited, but there were tears in her eyes.  I wasn't sure if it was embarrassment that this excited her or if it was the pain.  Maybe even she thought she had disappointed me.

"I think that's enough punishment for this first infraction."  I bent forward and licked each ass cheek.  "You did very well, Beth.  I think we should begin your workout now."  I stood and moved in front of her, lightly grabbing the chain binding her nipples together.  I then led her to the basement and moved her to the weight bench.

I picked up several different weights and arranged them nearby.  Grabbing the first weight, I had her doing arm exercises first.  I moved her legs apart a little so I would have easy access to her sex.  For the next hour, I had her performing a variety of exercises while at the same time, I was teasing her by stroking her clit or licking her nipples.  She was trembling and I used the teasing as an encouragement to lift more, which she picked up on very quickly.

When the hour was up and the exercises were completed, she had a lovely sheen of sweat all over her body and it was a little flushed.  She was a beautiful sight to see.  She was panting as well, being kept in a very horny state for a long period of time.  I must admit I knew exactly how to tease her.

I moved her over to the bench and had her sit on it while I stood in front of her.  "Very good job, Beth.  You did that all very well.  As you can see," I said indicating my erection, "you've managed to make things very hard for me.  I think you should help me with it."  She looked at my hard shaft, which was tenting my shorts.  She licked her lips longingly.  "Pull my shorts off," I commanded.

She looked up at me and noticed my stern demeanor, indicating it was an order.  My hands were relaxed at my sides.  She pulled down my shorts, carefully moving it over my cock and was amazed at it's incredible length and girth.  She licked her lips again in anticipation and longing.

"Now, touch it," I whispered.

She slowly moved both hands over my thighs and lightly wrapped her fingers around my cock.  Mmmm, it felt incredible.  I loved breaking in a new slave like this.  It was so exciting to see her first reaction.  Her hands slowly slipped up and down my cock, stroking it lightly.

"Mmmm, that's it.  Jerk me off like that.  You like my big prick, don't you?"

"Yes," she mumbled.  Her hands moved a little faster and more forcefully as she jerked up and down my cock.  After a few moments, she spit into her hands and used that as a lubricant.  Oh, she was so good at this.  It was so damn hot watching her slide her hands up and down as she stared at it so intently.

"Ooooh, that's so good, Beth.  I like that.  I think you should use your tongue now, though."

She moved her face closer to me, and licked up the length of my shaft.  I felt tremors going through me.  She seemed so tentative and shy making me instantly harder.  She closed her eyes, looking so beautiful as she lovingly pleased me with her tongue and hands.  My cock was glistening with her saliva in just a few minutes.  She spent a lot of time on the sensitive head which made me shake with desire.  When my precum hit her tongue, she gobbled it up greedily.

"Now your mouth, slut.  Suck me off," I ordered her.

I could tell that it excited her for me to order her so rudely.  She was panting loudly and she looked up at me, watching me as she opened her mouth and pushed my cock between her waiting lips.  It was heavenly.  Her mouth was so wet and warm.  I was practically ready to bust, just from watching her.  She went slowly at first, sucking hard as she pulled away and then engulfing me once more.  I felt like grabbing her head and just fucking her face, but held back.

My legs were shaking a bit as she played with my balls while my cock was buried in her mouth.  She was such a perfect little sub.  I knew I was going to have a lot of fun with her.  I wondered if maybe Heather would dominate her husband for me and we could make this a family affair.

I started moaning a little and thought if she liked a little dirty talk, I'd give it to her.  "That's right, slut.  Suck my cock into that dirty whore mouth of your's.  Oh, god you suck me so good.  Fuck, I can't wait to cum in your mouth.  You wanna drink my cum, don't you baby?"

She panted as every dirty word was uttered.  She really liked hearing it.  She started to really suck on me now.  It was like she was obsessed with getting me off or something.  She sucked on the head, letting her tongue twirl over it as her hands jacked me off.  The pleasure was incredible and I was close to cumming in seconds.  I didn't even warn her when I felt my cock jerk and spray into her mouth.  When it hit her, she backed away in disgust, letting the remaining shots hit her in the face, neck, and chest.

It took me a moment to come down from my orgasm and I stepped back away from her.  "You didn't like that huh?  Well you will.  I'll have you begging to taste my cum."  She sat there panting on the bench while I pulled my shorts back on and arranged my clothing.  I pulled the nipple chain and she stood up.  Very slowly, I removed each clip, causing her to moan in heat.  She wanted to get off so badly.  I put the clips back into my pocket and motioned for her to lead me up the stairs.

She stared at me in wonder.  She didn't know what to say or do.  She just wanted to orgasm so badly.  "I need it," she begged as we walked up the stairs.  "Please, don't leave me like this."

I laughed at her desperation.  "Maybe when you can stand the taste of my cum I'll help you get off."  We got to the top of the stairs and moved towards the front door.  As she reached for the knob, I pushed her against the door and kissed her hard.  She squirmed beneath me, trying to push her body into me.  Trying to entice me to fuck her.

I pulled back after a minute.  "Ok, I'll let you get off.  Quickly now, show me how you get off."

She looked up at me in disbelief.  "Here... now..." she said sheepishly.

"Unless you want to wait until tomorrow," I said threateningly.

"No, I'll do it."  Her hands moved down her body and she began playing with her clit.  Her fingers were very adept at pleasing her and I knew they'd had lots of practice.

I grabbed the hair on the back of her head and held her while my hand stroked her breasts.  "There you go Beth.  That's right, play with that clitty of your's.  Feel how wet you are now, feel how horny you are.  You wanna get fucked so bad, don't you?  You want me to fuck that tight little pussy, huh?"  My fingers tweaked her already sore nipples and, with the dirty talk, it sent her over the edge.

She looked so beautiful, so sexy, and so submissive standing there, leaning against the door and fingering her clit like that.  All at my command.  She was moaning loudly as she came.  Her legs were shaking badly, but didn't give away.  She panted as her fingers finally slowed and were slowly stroking her pussy.

I smiled down at her.  "Until tomorrow morning, then," I said, reaching for the door handle.  She could barely talk at this point, still coming off her climax like that.  I opened the door and left.  I thought about the next step in her training and smiled.  She was going to be so much fun.

[5hfanfiction]

2 Broke girls - Two

Lauren made her way into the busy dinner half an hour late after an argument with her now ex-roommate who had moved out and left Lauren in the lurch without so much as a warning, meaning Lauren now had to make up half of the rent for her apartment.

Rushing past Dinah and who was sat at the booking booth to grab her apron and notepad from the back, only to bump into the same rich girl from last night, except now she looked well…less rich. Maybe it was the uniform.

“Ugh…watch it, will you?” Lauren snapped already not in the mood for people’s bullshit today.

“I’m so sorry.” The girl apologised, “You’re Lauren right?”

“Unfortunately, yes.” Lauren said grabbing the plates of food Ty had placed onto the side to be taken to the desired tables.

“Oh..well Ally said you’d show be the ropes?” Camila she’s more than stated, feeling intimidated by the other girl who seemed so…in her element. Camila had never waitresses a day in her life, despite what she had told Ally. The truth is her dad paid for most of her things or she used the money from her trust fund, which had now been taken away from her as a repercussion of Alejandro’s failed business plans.

Setting the plates on the correct table Lauren huffed at the new girl, who was apparently insistent on annoying the heck out of Lauren with her annoying upper east side voice. “It’s not hard.” Lauren said walking behind the side bar. “This is Ty. Ty gives you the food,” Lauren said picking up more of the plates the new waitress obviously hadn’t decided to deliver and let pile up. “And you take them to the tables. My section,” Lauren said walking over to the furthest tables and setting the two plates down in front of an elderly couple. “Is tables one to eight and your’s is tables nine to eighteen.” She said secretly giving Camila a few extra tables from her own section to decrease her work load.

“Okay.” The Latina nodded in understanding.

“Once the tables are cleared out your job is to wash them. Or don’t, what they don’t know can’t hurt.” Lauren shrugged unbothered as Camila gasped in horror. “This is DJ.” Lauren gestured to her friend at at her station. “DJ books all the tables and shoves people our way. She’s also in control of all the crappy music we play here. Hence the name DJ. ” Lauren spoke as Dinah looked up from her tiny docking station and giving a small wave and a laugh. Though Camila didn’t know what was funny.

“Where the hell did Smallz find this one?” The DJ asked in a loud hushed tone to Lauren allowing Camila to hear.

“I can hear you! You know?!” Camila stepped forward, not liking everyone’s attitude hear. She had had enough from the chef earlier on when Lauren wasn’t hear to help here and Ally left her stranded in the kitchen inhaling the toxic fumes the guy was astonishingly smoking in the kitchen.

“We know.” Lauren said harshly, walking back towards the kitchen leaving Camila to chase after her. “So that’s about it. Oh! And we split the tips.” Lauren said shaking the empty jar that read tips.

“Alright, I think I’ve got it.” Camila nodded stressed as she tried to remember everything she had to do. It was a lot for her, but she needed this job. “I’m Camila by the way.” The young girl introduced herself.

“What kind of name is Camila?” Lauren scoffed, flipping open her notepad and pulling a small pencil from her bra.

“It’s Latin, I was actually named after-”

“Don’t care.” Lauren interrupted and disappeared through the kitchen doors, leaving a shocked and offended Camila alone out front, but Camila wasn’t having it so she stalked after her. Only to be met by Lauren sat on the work surface, near the food, smoking an illegal substance.

“Omg! What are you doing?!” Camila exclaimed.

“Blazing up, you want some?” Lauren offered much to Camila’s dismay.

“No! I don’t not want some. Do you know how dangerous that is? Not to mention the many health and safety regulations you are probably breaking right now.” Camila feuded in her squeaky voice.

“I’m sorry, have you seen this Diner?!” Lauren said jumping of the counter rolling her eyes. “Health and safety is put exactly our main priority.”

“Well it should be! Good people eat here and rely on you to provide them with good food. Safe food. That’s not surrounded by narcotics.”

“Is she for real?” Ty asked Lauren as Camila got increasingly wound up.

“Apparently so.” Lauren said stubbing out the joint in her hand. “Look, I don’t know where you’re from Princess but you need to dial it down, Kay?” Lauren said mocking Camila with the stupid nickname, because Camila wasn’t a princess. Sure she had tea with once, but that didn’t make her a princess,  just a friend of one.

“I’m not a-” Camila’s defence was interrupted by Ally marching into the kitchen.

“What are you guys doing back here?! This diner isn’t going to run itself!” She exclaimed placing both hands on her hips as she attempted to stare everyone down.

“With the amount of mould growing in this place I wouldn’t be surprised if it grew legs and ran away.” Lauren deadpanned with a hint of seriousness and causing Camila’s jaw to drop in shock horror. This place really was disgusting.

“We don’t have mould…anymore.” Ally smiled falsely shooting Lauren a dirty look that screamed ‘shut up’. “Now get out there before I fire you.”

“Please…” Lauren scoffed, “if you fire us this place will be closed down in a day.” And with that Lauren grabbed hold of Camila’s arm and dragged her out into the Diner to finish the rest of their shift.

Camila slowly got the hang of things, but the customers were another story. The were all so…rude.

“Look sir, this is what you ordered. I can go and change it, but it will cost more.” Camila tried to reason with the bald headed man who was in the wrong.

“No. I want what I ordered.” He yelled threateningly.

“Hey!” Lauren came up stepping in front of Camila and latching onto the guy with her menacing stare, as Camila breathed a sigh of relief having never of had to work with actual people before, other than her personal shopper and assistants. “Don’t be yelling a Canola like that. If you don’t like what you ordered that’s not her fault. So you can either order another meal and apologise to Cornflake over here or leave.” Lauren sassed letting her full Cuban accent takeover as she gave the now quiet man ultimatum.

“Um- sorry miss, I’ll just have a hotdog with mustard.” The big guy mumbled, avoiding Lauren’s gaze.

“Better.” Lauren said, grabbing his plate and walking away without so much of a second glance whilst Camila looked on at her in complete awe. Maybe this girl wasn’t so bad after all Camila thought, she did come over just to defend her.

Camila debated going over to Lauren and thanking her, but for some reason she didn’t think Lauren would take kindly to that. She didn’t seem like a 'feelings’ type of person and quite frankly Camila was scared that if she did go to hug her Lauren would shank her and steal her diamond earrings that her daddy had brought her from Paris. They were the only thing of real value she actually had left, well that and her designer shoes and matching bag.

So Camila opted otherwise and continued onto her other tables. Lauren didn’t really say much to her for the rest of the evening, Ty did occasionally but that was only to desperately flirt with her and Ally mostly kept to herself in the small office, whilst Dinah booked tables, played music and bantered with Lauren.

At 8pm Dinah dragged out a mic stand and began setting up the small stage at the front of the Diner that Camila hadn’t even noticed before, seeing as she had been to preoccupied with angry customers and an overwhelming amount of orders.

Once it hit 8:20pm Lauren stood upon the stage and tapped the microphone to check it was all synced up before speaking into the mic.  “Hey, so I’m gonna sing a song for you guys if you don’t mind.” Lauren spoke and for the first time since Camila had meant her she actually saw a flicker of emotion- nerves, she thought it was.

Lauren gave Dinah a thumbs up and the girl cued the music and the intro to Amy Winehouse’s Valarie started playing though the speakers before Lauren started singing the opening verse, flawlessly, Camila might add.

The brunette voice filled the Diner and gave it a new found life and even though Camila had double the amount of tables to wait on she could stop watching the girl singing soulfully through the mic with her eyes shut tight and hips swaying to the music.

It was inevitably the people walking up to the front of the stage pouring coins into Lauren’s upside down grey beanie that caused Camila to tear her eyes away from the girl on the stage and pay attention to her surroundings and an idea to spring up into her head. So Camila quickly walked over to where Dinah was sat in her booth. “DJ?”

“What’s up newb?” Dinah said not looking up from her laptop.

“Do we charge people for live performances at all?” Camila asked as her brain ticked away at ways to make money.

“No, why would we? Lauren just does it because she wants too.” Dinah shrugged finally looking up at the petite brunette hovering around her booth. “…and for tips, obviously.” Dinah added.

“Hmm…that’s interesting. She’s really good.” Camila commended.

“She almost had a record deal, ya know?” Dinah said looking at the girl belting notes on the stage.

“She did?” Camila asked shocked. Lauren didn’t seem the pop-star type.

“Yep. Hey, do me a favour and watch my booth? I need to pee.” Dinah said shuffling out, before Camila could give her an answer. So the new girl moved to sit in Dinah’s seat overlooking the Diner and waited for the girl to come back, praying that Lauren didn’t finish the song to soon and leave Camila with the job of cueing new music.

So, Camila sat tapping her fingers nervously waiting for Dinah to return but she never did and soon enough a customer wandered through the door looking for a table.

“Table for one.” The man in a business suit said obliviously with a phone to his ear and Camila tapped desperately at the computer trying to figure out what to do, but eventually gave up and just picked an empty table from the room.

“Um- table 11 is free.” Camila said and the man nodded continuing his phone call. “Listen, its loud in here so I’m going to have to call you back later.” He spoke, bringing Camila’s attention back to the live music and sparking up and idea in the young girl’s head.  “And that’ll be ten dollars as well, as its live music night.” Camila spoke confidently just like she was taught to in business school. The man pulled out his wallet and handed Camila the ten dollar bill before shuffling off to his table, without even so much of a second thought. So Camila pocketed the money with a smirk on her face just as Dinah appeared to take back over the booth.

“I put someone at that table,” Camila pointed, “I didn’t know how to work your thingy so I just chose an empty table.” Camila explained.

“That’s pretty much what I do anyway.” Dinah shrugged as Lauren finished her song and stepped of the stage handing Dinah the microphone clutched in her hand. “You killed it babe.”

“Thanks DJ.” Lauren smiled.

“Yeah, that was…AMAZING.” Camila agreed. “You should-”

“Whatever.” Lauren cut her off and walked away to the back of the kitchen, leaving a very confused Camila standing in her wake. She only congratulated her, it’s not like she even did anything wrong. “What’s her problem?” Camila asked Dinah feeling slightly annoyed.

“Lauren doesn’t do compliments…especially about her singing.” Dinah explained.

“But you just-” Camila stated baffled.

“It’s different with me.” Dinah shrugged, not even bothering to look at Camila as she spoke. Why was everyone here so rude?

“Then why does she even sing in the first place?” Camila pushed, trying to figure the angsty waitress out.

“Money. We’re not all rich like you.” Dinah said pointedly, like she knew something Camila obviously didn’t want anyone to know.

“How did you-?”

“Please Karla,” Dinah shattered Camilas facade by using her first name. “Your father’s face is plastered over every newspaper article in New York. Did you really think we wouldn’t figure it out?” Dinah said with complete distaste towards Camila.

“I didn’t- So Lauren knows?” Camila questioned. It would explain why she was treating her so badly.

“Yeah, she found it quite hilarious actually.” Dinah bemused. “Look to be honest I don’t care. Just don’t fuck with us okay? We’re broke as it is.”

“I would never.” Camila assured, nodding her head profusely.

“Good.” Dinah said. Camila began to walk away but turned back again when she heard Dinah speak. “Don’t stress over Lauren. She’s like this with everyone. It’s her M.O.”

-

Finally the last of the customers filtered out of the door and Lauren quickly slammed the door shut and flipped the open sign to read Closed, to prevent anymore stragglers from wondering in.

Ally, TY and Dinah had all left, leaving Lauren to close the Diner and Camila to…well Lauren didn’t quite know what it was that Camila was doing, other than wondering around trying to appear as though she was doing something, which she clearly wasn’t.

Lauren moved to grab her jacket from being sprawled across the bar, before turning to Camila. “Are you planning on leaving anytime soon? Because I have to lock up.”

“Oh.” Camila spoke dejectedly, but made no move to leave the shelter the Diner provided.

“So….are you going to go or what?” Lauren huffed after waiting a few beats for the new waitresses response.

“Um- yeah.” Camila mumbled nervously, grabbing her leather jacket and following Lauren outside onto the cold streets of Brooklyn. Lauren quickly locked the doors to the Diner, before turning to a hovering Camila.

Both girls just stared at each other waiting for the other to make a move, but neither did. Instead Camila found herself noticing Lauren’s striking green eyes for the fist time they had met. They provided at stark contrast against everything regarding Lauren’s appearance where her hair fell messily to one side and her skin was slightly blotchy and free from make up. Camila could even recommend a good concealer for her to use.

“Well…see ya.” Lauren blurted out, breaking the silence and turning to walk away.

“Wait!” Camila practically yelled after her.

“What?” Lauren said turning around annoyed, but making no effort to move any closer.

“I have no where to go.” Camila confessed in a whisper barely audible for Lauren to hear.

“…okay?” Lauren shrugged unbothered. “Do what I did when stepdad number 33 came along and kicked me out. Grab a card board box split it open and sleep on a doorstep until someone comes and pours a bucket of water on you.”

“Are you serious?” Camila questioned, astonished that the girl would suggest such a thing. Camila didn’t sleep anywhere less than four stars, so she wasn’t as picky most people on the upper east side, but sleeping on the ground was a ridiculous idea.

“No, come on.” Lauren instructed turning and walking back down the street.

“Where are we going?” Camila asked, quickly following after Lauren, scared of being left alone on the streets of Brooklyn.

“To a drug den.” Lauren rolled her eyes, but Camila couldn’t see because she was slightly behind the older girl.

“WHAT?! LAUREN, NO!” Camila panicked.

“Chillout, you’re staying at my apartment.” Lauren said monotonously.

“Omg! Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Camila squeaked with relief at not having to sleep on the streets.

“This doesn’t mean I like.” Lauren said bluntly.

[heather1815]

My little test subject: chapter 7

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, and Chapter 6

Angsty Tomtord fic with slight Paultryk on the side.

WARNING! This fic contains: Foul language, torture scenes, blood, use of medical tools, drug use, suicidal tendencies, self-neglect, violence, self-harm, and a little bit of stockholm syndrome and force feeding. Viewer discretion is advised.

"Are you out of your mind?!"

Tord was leaned back in his recliner chair, feet propped up over his desk and gaze fixed on the ceiling fan of his office. His lips were pursed with both arms crossed behind his head in boredom as he suffered through one of Patrick's lectures. This time, the Polish soldier was pacing around the room and ranting on and on about his treatment in regards to Tom, all the while Paul watched the argument in the far corner of the room; fiddling with his fingers, gaze cast downwards and completely silent as if he was afraid to speak up. This might take a while.

"I can't believe you've done this! After I pulled you out of the room to talk privately, specifically told you about my concerns regarding his weight loss and to take it easier on him; you just went ahead and electrocuted him!" Patrick exclaims angrily, still pacing from one side of the room to the other.

Tord shrugged. "Oh stop exaggerating, Pat!" He sighed exasperatedly. "It was just a controlled shock; the voltage isn't even that high. He was clearly struggling against the two of you so I thought it would've been much easier if he were unconscious. No need to get your panties in a twist. Geez!"

"I don't care what you thought, because you clearly didn't!" Patrick snapped. "Tom is incredibly underweight for someone his size and age, this leaves him very frail and extremely weak. If we are not careful, we could accidentally kill him without even going through any of the procedures." He warned.

Tord blinked at him deadpanned, sitting straight in his chair. "Alright Pat, you got a point. I will go easier on him from now on." He sighed. "But if he steps out of line, I will discipline him if necessary." He warned, turning his chair to look at the mirror on his left, immediately running his robotic hand through his hair and fixing his fringe.

"For our sake Tord, I do hope so. Tom might be our last shot of success in perfecting the serum. If we lose him, the project you worked so hard on will be no more." Patrick states angrily. "I recommend we give him a special diet before the procedures, enough for him to gain back the lost weight and build up his strength to resist blood loss." He advised.

"Very well, you go on and do that. For now, we'll leave the serious experiments for when Tom has a full recovery." Tord says, still looking at his reflexion.

"I'm afraid my hands are full on this matter, sir." The soldier grumbles, causing Tord to glance at him through the reflection.

"Hmm?"

"With all due respect sir, you already put me in charge of taking care of his mental health. I am no psychologist, so I have to read everything and anything on the matter to accomplish this." He elaborated. "You, on the other hand, put yourself in charge of his overall health. If anyone should plan his diet it should be you."

Tord glared at him clenching his fists but sighed in defeat as he realized the soldier's words did have truth in them. "Fine, I will take care of his diet. You can go on with your lessons, just don't forget to check the test results for his blood and spinal tap." He murmured. "Paul, you and I will take test subject #1826 for some light physical activity tomorrow, so I suggest you come up with something for then."

"Yes, sir!" Paul saluted.

"Dismissed." Tord ordered, his back still turned to them but watched them leave his office through the mirror.

Once they left and Tord was finally alone, he dropped the authority posture and allowed himself to relax. What a busy day. He thought tiredly, walking to his chair and leaning back as far as it would go, stretching his limbs.

He opened his computer with a frown, typing in the password and gaining access to all of the base's personal files and reports. But he was not interested in any of that at the moment. He was currently more preoccupied in finding ways of recovering Tom back to his proper health.

I don't understand. How could he have gotten to this condition? He's barely just skin and bones, there is literally nothing in him. Tord thought worriedly, researching different sources and pages for the absolute best. Did he do this to himself? If so, why? I need to keep a close eye on his condition…

Tord's thoughts drifted into various directions and possibilities. For now, he will give Tom the benefit of the doubt that he just has a terrible sense of self-care, and hopefully, nothing deeper was going. But then again, he's dealing with Tom. There is also a catch.

He is hiding something, and if Tom won't admit it, then I will figure him out myself. He vowed silently.

(Later…)

Blurry images were flying through his mind, but they were so fuzzy he could barely make them out. Blood rushed through his ears, drowning out the noise; his heart hammering in his chest. Stop.

He could faintly see a few places that looked familiar to the depths of his mind. A park, an alleyway, the bar… a yellow house. Stop it.

Next thing he hears are screams; shrills of panic and horror all around him. He tries to understand what was going on but all he sees as his vision clears are people running away from something. He looks behind him but there was nothing there. He realizes then that these people were running away from him. Stop it!

He tries to plead for the people to stop, try and make them understand, but they just kept staring at him in horror. He clutched his head in distress. P-please no!

He hissed in pain when he felt something sharp poke his head. He was confused by this and slowly drew his hands down, only to discover that in place of his hands, he had sharp blood-stained claws instead. NO!

He thrashed and turned violently as he saw people get mutilated left and right. His claws seemed to have a mind of their own as they slashed through them mercilessly. I don't want this!

Blood and guts spilled everywhere. He felt immense pain coming from his jaws as his gums expanded and sharp teeth started to grow out of his normal ones. Something heavy swished behind him. A tail. His tail. He pounced on a frightened woman and tore her face off with his jaws, mauling her limb to limb. Make it stop!

But he couldn't stop it. He would never stop until the pain in his stomach finally ceased and his hunger for flesh is satisfied. His appetite has been neglected for far too long. A loud roar escaped his lips once his eye surveyed the bloodstained fields; no signs of life. Until he heard a gasp from behind him. No! No! No!

He turned around, slowly and rather clumsily due to his large size. Standing behind him with expressions of shock and horror were two familiar figures of a ginger and a brunet in hoodies. Something clicked in his mind at the recognition, but his stomach growled louder at the sight of them. Not them!

He crouched low on the ground, a growl rumbling through him as his eye narrowed at them. His huge claws raked the ground in anticipation. His mouth watered.

PREY.

NO! DON'T-!

KILL.

He pounced on them, claws raised and ready for mutilating as the two forms cowered away in fear. Next thing he knows; blood is soaking his form. His friend's blood.

"NO!" Tom shot up straight, sitting up in alarm. His eyes were wide and he started to pant for breath, trying to calm down from the adrenaline as he trembled in fright. He looked around frantic but was relieved to find everything he had experienced, for the most part, was merely a dream.

Tom breathed a sigh of relief, taking deep breaths to calm his rapid heartbeat. He laid back down staring at the ceiling. It was just a dream. Edd and Matt are fine. You did not hurt them, they are safe and sound back at home. The monster will never hurt them now.

As he gained back his bearings, Tom noticed the somewhat soft surface he was laying on top of. On closer observation he realized he was indeed lying on a bed. He looked around the place he was in. The room was plain gray with no windows or anything else really. Just the bed.

Last (night's?) events slowly but surely reappeared into his memory and he remembered how Tord played a stupid game with him before knocking him out via electric shocks. Tom huffed in annoyance. Dam commie. Didn't even have the guts to knock me out himself, he had to do it from a safe distance.

Tom noticed two doors, one positioned to his left; large and made out of steel, and the other in front of him at the far end of the bed. One must lead outside while the other was possibly a bathroom. Again, possibly… This is Tord he is dealing with after all.

Tom sat up again, his legs dangling to the side of the bed. He tried to get up when he felt a pull towards his wrist and a slight pain followed. Tom looked down and saw a thin, transparent line coming out of his sleeve. He pulled it up, the line going inside his veins. Tom followed the line, his eyes directing towards the rather large IV bag on a pole, connected to the lines.

"An IV?" Tom stared down at his wrist in confusion. They must've put that in while I was unconscious… right on my injured wrist too.

Tom didn't have much time to pull it off before the door to his cell slid open. Tom jumped in surprise, letting out a little yelp until he realized who was on the other side. The familiar silhouette of pointy hair was enough to tell who it was before Tord strolled into the room, a wide grin on his face and carrying a tray of, supposedly food with him.

"Good morning!" Tord greeted in a sing-song voice. Tom stared at him deadpanned, not saying anything just raising one eyebrow questioningly. "Hope you had a good night's rest, cause' today we have a lot to do."

Tom glared. Tord is never cheerful unless there is pain involved. Great. The Brit remained silent, crossing his arms and glaring at the other man. Tord's smile wavered at his behaviour.

"Ah, the silent treatment I see. Don't tell me you are still upset for me electrocuting you yesterday?" Tord says, earning a harder glare from Tom causing him to chuckle at their situation. "Really? Come on old pal, as if you were expecting anything different from me at this point!" Tord laughed, but slowly diminished as Tom remained silent and fuming. "Oh. So you are serious about this." Tord blinked in realization that maybe making fun of his only hope to get the serum done, especially when he is in such a condition, wasn't the best idea.

Tord sighed, clearing his throat. "Fine. Maybe I exaggerated and I shouldn't have been so quick to electrocute you." He apologized while avoiding uttering the specific words to his supposedly arch-nemesis. Patrick's words echoed in his mind. "As long as you don't try anything funny, I won't do it again. I promise."

Knowing this is the closest he will ever get to an apology coming from Tord, Tom dropped his arms with his glare turning to the tray of food the Norwegian was still holding in his hands.

"Anyways, I brought you breakfast." Tord simply says handing him the tray. "And please try not to take out the IV without proper assistance. I had it put in to help restore you back to health and I would hate it if you were to be stubborn about it."

Tom took the tray from him, setting it down on his lap. The food given was as simple as it could be: Just a bowl of bread chunks, a small dish of butter with a plastic knife, and a glass of water. Talk about generic prison food. But the food itself didn't really matter. Even if he were presented with a cheeseburger or a large, juicy steak he still wouldn't eat it. He can't risk getting strong again.

"I'm not hungry." Tom muttered, looking away while ignoring the pain in his stomach grow at the sight of food.

Much to his surprise, Tord laughed in response, looking down at him with amusement. "Patrick warned me you would use the same excuse twice, didn't think you actually would though." He stated. "To my knowledge, you haven't consumed anything in the last 54 hours. No normal human being can go on so long without any nourishment."

Tom inwardly grimaced. Dam, he is on to me. He glared up at Tord. "I don't have eyes, my parents are inanimate objects, and I currently have a super-potent serum running through my veins. I am by no means normal." He growled.

Tord shrugged. "True. But you are still human despite all of that, and you need to eat sometime." He says, nudging the tray.

Tom raised an eyebrow. "So what happened to the quality meal I was promised when taking your stupid deal?" He challenged, remembering the night Tord had come to him to hear his answer and told him of the things he would expect to get if he accepted his proposition. "If this is what you have for a quality meal, then I really don't wanna know what you have for your average one." He held a chunk of bread between his fingers, holding it up to his eye he inspected it.

Tord frowned. "I'll have you known that this is some of the finest bread that we have." He stated, somewhat offended by Tom's comment, as he held a lot of pride for his army. "And concerning the conditions of our deal, a change was in order." At this Tom put the chunk of bread down, looking at Tord curiously. The norsk sighed. "Due to your alarming condition I had to research and plan your diet carefully. So from now on, instead of two quality meals a day, you'll get plenty of small snacks once every two hours: Bread, protein bars, soups. Small but nutritious, and easy to consume."

Tom narrowed his eyes as his blank stare met with Tord's own gray one. He may know about his malnourished state, but he barely scratched the surface of Tom's condition; he has no idea what he is dealing with, and Tom plans to keep it that way for as long as he can. So until Tord addresses the issue directly, he will just play along.

Once again, Tord nudged the tray of food closer to Tom. "Well, go on and eat up then. When you are done, I'll escort you to the gym where Paul will be waiting for us." He ordered.

Tom looked down at the food in disdain. His stomach was growling but he went for so long without eating anything that he kind of lost his appetite due to his self-control. The chunks of bread didn't look particularly appetizing either.

Tord frowned, sensing Tom's hesitance to eat and figured he wouldn't do it on his own initiative. He sighed. "You know, there are still lots of questions you haven't ask me yet." He said, gaining the Brit's attention. "Tell you what: You may ask me any questions you want; I promise to answer them all truthfully. But for each question you ask me you will eat one chunk of bread in return."

Tom rolled his empty eyes, groaning in annoyance. Leave it to Tord to solve all his problems with a deal or a game. He has been for approximately three days in this stupid base and already he couldn't stand Tord or his methods. He vaguely remembers the Norwegian's ominous words from their last game. The right question? He thought. I do want answers, and I don't know when I'll get another chance to talk with Patrick or Paul on my own; or if they will even answer me then. Tom looks down at the bowl of bread on his tray, slowly lifting his gaze back to Tord; standing in the middle of the room with his hands folded behind his back.

Tom didn't want to give in just yet, his stubborn side rising within him. "And what if I refuse?" He challenged, crossing his arms and folding his legs; careful not to let the tray fall from his lap.

Tord frowned at him. "If you don't eat, then I guess I will just have to make you." He spoke, icily calm. "And believe me Thomas, I have many ways to make you do whatever I want. I am just being nice and giving you the chance to choose to do it the easy way or the hard way." Tom wasn't fooled by his calm demeanour. Tord was practically radiating anger, he just kept it in check. Tom scowled but sighed in defeat, knowing better than to argue further at this point. "So what's it gonna be?"

Tom stared at the ground, adverting his gaze. "Fine. I'll take your offer." He muttered.

Tord smiled, regaining his posture. Good, he is learning. He thought, pleased with the result. Maybe one day he won't resist me anymore and just do as I say without protest. Hopefully.

"You may begin whenever you are ready." Tord declared, straightening his back and clasping his hands together.

Tom narrowed his eyes, remembering his previous questions and the information he learned in response. He scratched his chin and hummed.

"Alright, uhm, I assume we are currently in your army base or something…"

"One of many." Tord put in. "This one is actually my main base, and the largest of all of them. Do keep going."

Tom raised one eyebrow. Geez. How many bases does he have in total? And why so many? He thought of asking, but he shook his head. Focus. One question at a time! I can't eat too much so I have to think carefully about my questions.

"Well, if this is your main base, then how come I barely see anyone around here?" Tom asks. "I mean; I saw a few people wandering through the halls when Patrick first escorted me. But how come I only seem to interact with the three of you and no one else?"

Tord grinned, moving to lean on the wall next to him while crossing his arms. "The serum project is a highly confidential plan only accessible to higher ups and with my permission. It is a very delicate procedure that I would very much like to keep it hidden from any form of unwanted attention." He explained, an edge to his voice. "So, to prevent unqualified assistance or possible traitors to get close to my last shot in this project, I made it perfectly clear to my soldiers to stay away from the lower area, which is the entire floor you reside in and we perform our experiments. Any members of the red army found wandering about the halls of this floor without direct permission from me will be-"

"Killed?!"

"Punished." Tord finished, his grin turning into a sour frown. "I may be trigger happy, Tom, but I wouldn't kill my own soldiers for a little bit of rule breaking." He paused, contemplating his thoughts. "Well… Unless they annoy or piss me off, and break the rules far too often; in which case they lose their value and become easily dispensable. And this project is a very serious issue, so now I am not quite sure what I'll do if someone were to come down here and find out…"

Tom felt an involuntarily shiver run down his spine at the sound of that. He began to wonder what kind of punishment Tord delivers to those who break the rules. Knowing how sadistic the Norwegian man could be, Tom wouldn't be surprised if it involved medieval torture methods; or at the very least some finger chopping or back whipping. And how exactly would he dispose of the "dispensable" soldiers? Tord's favourite method of killing has always been guns, but again, he is a sadistic f#ck; he most likely wouldn't settle for just a simple shot in the head. Tom's gaze drifted down to Tord's synthetic hand, currently rubbing his chin in thought. Another shiver ran down his spine. Something told him that cold, metallic hand held a lot of deaths in its grasp. And he suspected it wasn't only by choking either.

"Regardless, you will only interact with Paul, Pat, and I throughout the whole experience and no one else." Tord declared, brushing off his previous thought.

Tom snapped out of his thoughts. "So your soldiers-"

"Ahem." Tom was abruptly interrupted by Tord's obnoxious throat clearing. The Norsk was looking down at him expectantly, but Tom just stared back in confusion. "Eat." He ordered, motioning to the tray.

Tom looked down, realizing what he was expected to do. He inwardly grimaced, not feeling up to eating anything at the moment, or ever for that fact. But if he didn't, Tord would force him to do it regardless, and he doesn't need the humiliation of having the commie force-feeding him against his will. It's just best to comply.

Tom surveyed the contents of the bowl, careful to pick the smallest chunk possible. He raised it to his eye level to inspect it. The bread is brown and white with grains in it, soft to the touch and yet held a certain hardiness to it near the border. Gingerly, he stuck his tongue out to give the bread an experimental taste. Tom clicked his tongue. Tastes like bread alright.

Tord watched him in amusement and slight annoyance, doing his best to keep from giggling out loud. He debated whether he should just tell him that the bread held no drugs or poison in it, but held back. Tord decided he found Tom quite adorable when he was suspicious and wary of things.

Tom stared down at the piece of bread for a moment longer before popping it into his mouth. He chewed slowly, and rather hesitantly as he rolled the bread around his mouth with his tongue. It crunched beneath his teeth, the grains making themselves apparent. The taste was rather bland. But to Tom, who hadn't eaten anything for so long he barely remembers the last time he did, the bread tasted divine in his mouth.

Still, he did not let it show he enjoyed. "Not bad." He mumbled while still chewing.

When the chunk was gone from his mouth and descended down his throat, Tom still felt the bread taste on his tongue. He held the urge to lick his lips. His eyes unintentionally fixed back on the bowl, and his hand was ready to take another chunk but he quickly reframed from doing so. His hand twitched and he clenched into a fist in response. Stay under control. He reminded himself.

Although subtle, Tord took notice of the hand twitch. Looking at Tom's facial expression he could detect a hint of hesitation, as if he was struggling with himself. Tord raised an eyebrow in interest. Hm, seems as if he's having some trouble in containing himself. Not sure if this is his stubborn side refusing to actually enjoy something I am giving him, or something else entirely… He contemplated, rubbing his chin. I'll order Pat to have a session with him tomorrow; today if possible, and see what he can figure out.

Tom managed to repress down the urge to eat more, for now, until he could ask more questions. "So how did you get your army?" He blurts out. "Did you actually get followers or did you blackmail them into joining you?"

Tord just shot him a sly grin. "I earned my soldier's respect fair and square. They approved of my way of thinking and agreed to join the cause. My cause." He declared with pride, placing the palm of his robotic hand over his heart. "Of course, I started only with a handful of soldiers; Paul included. But overtime we recruited more members to join us, and that's when Pat came in. I never had any use to blackmail anyone."

Except for me, you dumb bastard. Tom silently added, scowling. "But how did you manage to recruit more members without being tracked or found out by the authorities?" He questions. "Like, with you being wanted and all I guess it's safe to say you didn't just go out in the open to demand more members or anything. So you probably had a strategy for this sort of thing." He pointed out, recalling the time he was walking down the street with the keys of his newly-bought apartment twirling on his finger when he found the wanted poster.

No matter how much time seemed to pass since that incident, his mind somehow always drifted to the catastrophic events of that day. Sometimes he wondered what would've happened if he had never found that poster. Would Tord have turned his rage on Edd and Matt instead? Or would he have left peacefully?

Tord's grin widened. "Very clever Tom, maybe you aren't as stupid as I thought you were." He purred in delight, motioning with his hand to the bowl once more. Tom got the memo right away and took a small chunk of bread; eating while he listened to his answer.

"Yes, I had to work around the issue with the authorities in order to expand my numbers. So we were very careful when selecting our members; only choosing those who held special skills and stood out among the rest." Tord explained. "But overtime as our organisation grew we became more open to members, but still careful in our selection to make sure we don't get any spies or undercover cops. So now we have a new system of selection."

"Which is?" Tom questioned, glancing sideways and taking note of the small tray of butter to accompany his meal. He gingerly grabbed the plastic knife and proceeded to swipe it over one piece of bread.

Tord smirked. "Our pub of course! It turned out to have more use for the army aside of just financing our organisation." He exclaimed. "We keep an eye out for frequent clients; the ones who seem miserable and have a reason to come so often. One soldier goes to them undercover, gain their trust, gets info on them, and we offer them a place in the group. If they refuse, we erase their memories from the event; but most cases they are willing to abandon their lives for this new style."

Tom swallowed another chunk of bread, rolling down his throat with great difficulty. It's been a while since he last did this. He grabbed the glass of water and took a sip, still paying attention to the details.

"But it's not just the pub that we use. All soldiers are equipped with fake names and identities so that they may interact with the outside world whenever they want. If they were to stumble upon a person of interest that fits in with our requirements, they are offered a place as well." Tord went on, seemingly not minding in giving away even the most secretive of details regarding his army. He held a lot of pride for his hard work and wasn't afraid of showing it. "Most of the people who take our offer like to delete their previous lives, either by hacking the systems or just simply faking their own deaths; taking entirely new identities as their own and committing themselves fully to the army."

Tom looked up at him. "So your soldiers are basically dead to the world." He concluded grimly.

As much as he disliked Tord and everything he stands for, including the whole army thing, he can't really blame the people for joining him. They must've had their reasons for abandoning their lives. Sure, there could be the occasional communist prick like the leader himself, but what of those people that were in a similar predicament as him? Depressed and lost. Maybe they were in the brink of death before a second chance showed up to them. Tord and the army could be bad but maybe it was the only chance these people had of living.

Tom shook the thought off his head, repressing it down. No person associated with the army deserve his sympathy no matter what their reason was. Himself included.

"Does that mean they all live in the base? Or bases, considering you seem to have more than one." Tom mumbled, taking another sip of water.

"Most of them, yes. But there are those who still hold on to their everyday lives. Think of them as the ones who have a foot in each world. The blissful ignorant world of today's society, and that of the red army's." Tord continued. "They work mostly as spies; feeding us any and all intel they may acquire during their outings, then sneak back to the base and report everything. Most of these types of soldiers have a lot of use to us with their positions: Doctors, bankers, and especially cops."

Tom nearly choked on his drink, but managed to place the glass down and swallow the liquid before it could take effect in his lungs. Tord had a lot more power than he initially imagined if he had undercover soldiers working in important positions. Even if by some miracle he were able to escape, Tom would never be able to go out again; else he will get easily tracked down and just brought back. Heck, after learning this tad bit of information can he trust anyone else ever again? After his experience with the pub, definitely not.

"Are all of your soldiers just that? Soldiers? Or are there different positions?" Tom asks, calming down before glaring daggers at the norsk. "And what about children? Do you take them in as well? I bet you brainwash them in following your messed up ways you sick, communist, bastard-"

Tord pursed his lips, narrowing his eye as he raised one finger to silence him. "Despite what you might think of me, Thomas, I do not take in children. Never had, never will. Only individuals above the age of eighteen are allowed to join. Sure there are some smartasses who think they can fool us into believing they are above the age, just because they think being in an army sounds cool. But our system never failed to detect them, and we erase their memories from the event. But we do keep a tracker on them for future reference." He explained, standing up from his spot against the wall; walking closer to Tom. "And yes, we do have other positions in the army: Doctors, nurses, scientists, engineers, cooks, cleaners, etc. Not all of the people we take in share the same enjoyment as me in going on a killing spree. Anything that can benefit the army in any way possible."

Tom followed his movements as Tord got closer to him. He was baring his teeth into a scowl and his eyeless gaze set into a glare. Tord stopped, towering directly over him.

"I believe those were four questions, so… Eat up!" Tord pointed out.

Tom growled. "I don't feel like eating anymore." In a sudden burst of defiance, he shoved the tray of food off his lap; splattering the remains on the floor. His gaze not once leaving Tord's.

On the other hand, Tord was fuming silently, anger boiling up inside of him ready to burst. He felt the urge to hold Tom in a choke hold in order to teach him a lesson for his defiance. His hands clenched, ready to lash out when Patrick's words echoed in his mind, reminding him of his predicament. Tom is his only and last shot, as much as he hates to admit it. And he can't be too rough on him or he will get damaged in his current state.

With this in mind, Tord takes a deep breath to calm down. He smiles down at Tom, taking him by genuine surprise.

"Tsk tsk, oh Tom, always making a mess of things." Tord cooed, shaking his head.

He extended his robotic hand out towards Tom, making him flinch and try to lean back; but at the same time, he didn't want to show signs of weakness and urged to stand his ground. Tord leaned closer, his hand just inches away from his face. Tom kept his gaze fixed on the Norwegian's single gray eye, completely still.

When they come in contact with each other, Tom grit his teeth and grumbled in irritation. The robotic hand ran through his hair and ruffled him. He hated the touch, it felt like Tord was possessive of him somehow. But strangely enough, it felt affectionate as well. Tom almost leaned into the touch if it weren't for the fact he kept reminding himself as to whom exactly it was ruffling him in the first place.

Tord grinned. "Well, I am glad you took such an interest in my line of work. I hope the information I provided you with was enough to change your mind about a few things." He murmured, still running his robotic fingers gently through Tom's messy brown locks. "Overtime, who knows? You might actually start seeing us as your friends. Maybe even your family perhaps-"

Tom grabbed the robotic hand firmly, halting it in its tracks as he glared up furiously. Tord stared down at the dark sockets, surprised by the rage fuelling behind them.

"Forget it, commie!" Tom snarled, pushing the hand away from him. "I might be your little test subject for your sick experiments, but I am most definitely not part of your stupid army. You are not my leader, and neither are you or anyone else around here my friend." Spitting out each word, Tom shoved him away, making Tord almost stumble back.

In the action, Tom took note how almost effortlessly he managed to shove the other one away. He hadn't felt this strong in a long time. It felt good, but at the same time he knew it was bad news.

Tord recovered from the move, staring back at the brit wide eyed. For someone who is so underweight, he sure is strong. He regained his composure, fixing the collar of his uniform while throwing a little smirk in Tom's direction. "Whatever you say." He chuckled, making Tom fume.

Tord cleared his throat, turning his back to him and sliding the door to the cell open. "Come along now." He glanced sideways back at him. "We have important things to get to. The sooner we go, the earlier we get things done."

Tom grit his teeth and rolled his eyes. "Joy." He muttered in annoyance, following Tord out the room. "Can't wait to see what kind of torture you'll put me through first."

"Oh, you'll see."

[readbookywooks]

I was soon introduced into the presence of the magistrate, an old benevolent man with calm and mild manners. He looked upon me, however, with some degree of severity, and then, turning towards my conductors, he asked who appeared as witnesses on this occasion. About half a dozen men came forward; and, one being selected by the magistrate, he deposed that he had been out fishing the night before with his son and brother-in-law, Daniel Nugent, when, about ten o'clock, they observed a strong northerly blast rising, and they accordingly put in for port. It was a very dark night, as the moon had not yet risen; they did not land at the harbour, but, as they had been accustomed, at a creek about two miles below. He walked on first, carrying a part of the fishing tackle, and his companions followed him at some distance. As he was proceeding along the sands, he struck his foot against something and fell at his length on the ground. His companions came up to assist him, and by the light of their lantern they found that he had fallen on the body of a man, who was to all appearance dead. Their first supposition was that it was the corpse of some person who had been drowned and was thrown on shore by the waves, but on examination they found that the clothes were not wet and even that the body was not then cold. They instantly carried it to the cottage of an old woman near the spot and endeavoured, but in vain, to restore it to life. It appeared to be a handsome young man, about five and twenty years of age. He had apparently been strangled, for there was no sign of any violence except the black mark of fingers on his neck. The first part of this deposition did not in the least interest me, but when the mark of the fingers was mentioned I remembered the murder of my brother and felt myself extremely agitated; my limbs trembled, and a mist came over my eyes, which obliged me to lean on a chair for support. The magistrate observed me with a keen eye and of course drew an unfavourable augury from my manner. The son confirmed his father's account, but when Daniel Nugent was called he swore positively that just before the fall of his companion, he saw a boat, with a single man in it, at a short distance from the shore; and as far as he could judge by the light of a few stars, it was the same boat in which I had just landed. A woman deposed that she lived near the beach and was standing at the door of her cottage, waiting for the return of the fishermen, about an hour before she heard of the discovery of the body, when she saw a boat with only one man in it push off from that part of the shore where the corpse was afterwards found. Another woman confirmed the account of the fishermen having brought the body into her house; it was not cold. They put it into a bed and rubbed it, and Daniel went to the town for an apothecary, but life was quite gone. Several other men were examined concerning my landing, and they agreed that, with the strong north wind that had arisen during the night, it was very probable that I had beaten about for many hours and had been obliged to return nearly to the same spot from which I had departed. Besides, they observed that it appeared that I had brought the body from another place, and it was likely that as I did not appear to know the shore, I might have put into the harbour ignorant of the distance of the town of - - from the place where I had deposited the corpse. Mr. Kirwin, on hearing this evidence, desired that I should be taken into the room where the body lay for interment, that it might be observed what effect the sight of it would produce upon me. This idea was probably suggested by the extreme agitation I had exhibited when the mode of the murder had been described. I was accordingly conducted, by the magistrate and several other persons, to the inn. I could not help being struck by the strange coincidences that had taken place during this eventful night; but, knowing that I had been conversing with several persons in the island I had inhabited about the time that the body had been found, I was perfectly tranquil as to the consequences of the affair. I entered the room where the corpse lay and was led up to the coffin. How can I describe my sensations on beholding it? I feel yet parched with horror, nor can I reflect on that terrible moment without shuddering and agony. The examination, the presence of the magistrate and witnesses, passed like a dream from my memory when I saw the lifeless form of Henry Clerval stretched before me. I gasped for breath, and throwing myself on the body, I exclaimed, "Have my murderous machinations deprived you also, my dearest Henry, of life? Two I have already destroyed; other victims await their destiny; but you, Clerval, my friend, my benefactor - " The human frame could no longer support the agonies that I endured, and I was carried out of the room in strong convulsions. A fever succeeded to this. I lay for two months on the point of death; my ravings, as I afterwards heard, were frightful; I called myself the murderer of William, of Justine, and of Clerval. Sometimes I entreated my attendants to assist me in the destruction of the fiend by whom I was tormented; and at others I felt the fingers of the monster already grasping my neck, and screamed aloud with agony and terror. Fortunately, as I spoke my native language, Mr. Kirwin alone understood me; but my gestures and bitter cries were sufficient to affright the other witnesses. Why did I not die? More miserable than man ever was before, why did I not sink into forgetfulness and rest? Death snatches away many blooming children, the only hopes of their doting parents; how many brides and youthful lovers have been one day in the bloom of health and hope, and the next a prey for worms and the decay of the tomb! Of what materials was I made that I could thus resist so many shocks, which, like the turning of the wheel, continually renewed the torture? But I was doomed to live and in two months found myself as awaking from a dream, in a prison, stretched on a wretched bed, surrounded by jailers, turnkeys, bolts, and all the miserable apparatus of a dungeon. It was morning, I remember, when I thus awoke to understanding; I had forgotten the particulars of what had happened and only felt as if some great misfortune had suddenly overwhelmed me; but when I looked around and saw the barred windows and the squalidness of the room in which I was, all flashed across my memory and I groaned bitterly. This sound disturbed an old woman who was sleeping in a chair beside me. She was a hired nurse, the wife of one of the turnkeys, and her countenance expressed all those bad qualities which often characterize that class. The lines of her face were hard and rude, like that of persons accustomed to see without sympathizing in sights of misery. Her tone expressed her entire indifference; she addressed me in English, and the voice struck me as one that I had heard during my sufferings. "Are you better now, sir?" said she. I replied in the same language, with a feeble voice, "I believe I am; but if it be all true, if indeed I did not dream, I am sorry that I am still alive to feel this misery and horror." "For that matter," replied the old woman, "if you mean about the gentleman you murdered, I believe that it were better for you if you were dead, for I fancy it will go hard with you! However, that's none of my business; I am sent to nurse you and get you well; I do my duty with a safe conscience; it were well if everybody did the same." I turned with loathing from the woman who could utter so unfeeling a speech to a person just saved, on the very edge of death; but I felt languid and unable to reflect on all that had passed. The whole series of my life appeared to me as a dream; I sometimes doubted if indeed it were all true, for it never presented itself to my mind with the force of reality. As the images that floated before me became more distinct, I grew feverish; a darkness pressed around me; no one was near me who soothed me with the gentle voice of love; no dear hand supported me. The physician came and prescribed medicines, and the old woman prepared them for me; but utter carelessness was visible in the first, and the expression of brutality was strongly marked in the visage of the second. Who could be interested in the fate of a murderer but the hangman who would gain his fee? These were my first reflections, but I soon learned that Mr. Kirwin had shown me extreme kindness. He had caused the best room in the prison to be prepared for me (wretched indeed was the best); and it was he who had provided a physician and a nurse. It is true, he seldom came to see me, for although he ardently desired to relieve the sufferings of every human creature, he did not wish to be present at the agonies and miserable ravings of a murderer. He came, therefore, sometimes to see that I was not neglected, but his visits were short and with long intervals. One day, while I was gradually recovering, I was seated in a chair, my eyes half open and my cheeks livid like those in death. I was overcome by gloom and misery and often reflected I had better seek death than desire to remain in a world which to me was replete with wretchedness. At one time I considered whether I should not declare myself guilty and suffer the penalty of the law, less innocent than poor Justine had been. Such were my thoughts when the door of my apartment was opened and Mr. Kirwin entered. His countenance expressed sympathy and compassion; he drew a chair close to mine and addressed me in French, "I fear that this place is very shocking to you; can I do anything to make you more comfortable?" "I thank you, but all that you mention is nothing to me; on the whole earth there is no comfort which I am capable of receiving." "I know that the sympathy of a stranger can be but of little relief to one borne down as you are by so strange a misfortune. But you will, I hope, soon quit this melancholy abode, for doubtless evidence can easily be brought to free you from the criminal charge." "That is my least concern; I am, by a course of strange events, become the most miserable of mortals. Persecuted and tortured as I am and have been, can death be any evil to me?" "Nothing indeed could be more unfortunate and agonizing than the strange chances that have lately occurred. You were thrown, by some surprising accident, on this shore, renowned for its hospitality, seized immediately, and charged with murder. The first sight that was presented to your eyes was the body of your friend, murdered in so unaccountable a manner and placed, as it were, by some fiend across your path." As Mr. Kirwin said this, notwithstanding the agitation I endured on this retrospect of my sufferings, I also felt considerable surprise at the knowledge he seemed to possess concerning me. I suppose some astonishment was exhibited in my countenance, for Mr. Kirwin hastened to say, "Immediately upon your being taken ill, all the papers that were on your person were brought me, and I examined them that I might discover some trace by which I could send to your relations an account of your misfortune and illness. I found several letters, and, among others, one which I discovered from its commencement to be from your father. I instantly wrote to Geneva; nearly two months have elapsed since the departure of my letter. But you are ill; even now you tremble; you are unfit for agitation of any kind." "This suspense is a thousand times worse than the most horrible event; tell me what new scene of death has been acted, and whose murder I am now to lament?" "Your family is perfectly well," said Mr. Kirwin with gentleness; "and someone, a friend, is come to visit you." I know not by what chain of thought the idea presented itself, but it instantly darted into my mind that the murderer had come to mock at my misery and taunt me with the death of Clerval, as a new incitement for me to comply with his hellish desires. I put my hand before my eyes, and cried out in agony, "Oh! Take him away! I cannot see him; for God's sake, do not let him enter!" Mr. Kirwin regarded me with a troubled countenance. He could not help regarding my exclamation as a presumption of my guilt and said in rather a severe tone, "I should have thought, young man, that the presence of your father would have been welcome instead of inspiring such violent repugnance." "My father!" cried I, while every feature and every muscle was relaxed from anguish to pleasure. "Is my father indeed come? How kind, how very kind! But where is he, why does he not hasten to me?" My change of manner surprised and pleased the magistrate; perhaps he thought that my former exclamation was a momentary return of delirium, and now he instantly resumed his former benevolence. He rose and quitted the room with my nurse, and in a moment my father entered it. Nothing, at this moment, could have given me greater pleasure than the arrival of my father. I stretched out my hand to him and cried, "Are you, then, safe - and Elizabeth - and Ernest?" My father calmed me with assurances of their welfare and endeavoured, by dwelling on these subjects so interesting to my heart, to raise my desponding spirits; but he soon felt that a prison cannot be the abode of cheerfulness. "What a place is this that you inhabit, my son!" said he, looking mournfully at the barred windows and wretched appearance of the room. "You travelled to seek happiness, but a fatality seems to pursue you. And poor Clerval - " The name of my unfortunate and murdered friend was an agitation too great to be endured in my weak state; I shed tears. "Alas! Yes, my father," replied I; "some destiny of the most horrible kind hangs over me, and I must live to fulfil it, or surely I should have died on the coffin of Henry." We were not allowed to converse for any length of time, for the precarious state of my health rendered every precaution necessary that could ensure tranquillity. Mr. Kirwin came in and insisted that my strength should not be exhausted by too much exertion. But the appearance of my father was to me like that of my good angel, and I gradually recovered my health. As my sickness quitted me, I was absorbed by a gloomy and black melancholy that nothing could dissipate. The image of Clerval was forever before me, ghastly and murdered. More than once the agitation into which these reflections threw me made my friends dread a dangerous relapse. Alas! Why did they preserve so miserable and detested a life? It was surely that I might fulfil my destiny, which is now drawing to a close. Soon, oh, very soon, will death extinguish these throbbings and relieve me from the mighty weight of anguish that bears me to the dust; and, in executing the award of justice, I shall also sink to rest. Then the appearance of death was distant, although the wish was ever present to my thoughts; and I often sat for hours motionless and speechless, wishing for some mighty revolution that might bury me and my destroyer in its ruins. The season of the assizes approached. I had already been three months in prison, and although I was still weak and in continual danger of a relapse, I was obliged to travel nearly a hundred miles to the country town where the court was held. Mr. Kirwin charged himself with every care of collecting witnesses and arranging my defence. I was spared the disgrace of appearing publicly as a criminal, as the case was not brought before the court that decides on life and death. The grand jury rejected the bill, on its being proved that I was on the Orkney Islands at the hour the body of my friend was found; and a fortnight after my removal I was liberated from prison. My father was enraptured on finding me freed from the vexations of a criminal charge, that I was again allowed to breathe the fresh atmosphere and permitted to return to my native country. I did not participate in these feelings, for to me the walls of a dungeon or a palace were alike hateful. The cup of life was poisoned forever, and although the sun shone upon me, as upon the happy and gay of heart, I saw around me nothing but a dense and frightful darkness, penetrated by no light but the glimmer of two eyes that glared upon me. Sometimes they were the expressive eyes of Henry, languishing in death, the dark orbs nearly covered by the lids and the long black lashes that fringed them; sometimes it was the watery, clouded eyes of the monster, as I first saw them in my chamber at Ingolstadt. My father tried to awaken in me the feelings of affection. He talked of Geneva, which I should soon visit, of Elizabeth and Ernest; but these words only drew deep groans from me. Sometimes, indeed, I felt a wish for happiness and thought with melancholy delight of my beloved cousin or longed, with a devouring maladie du pays, to see once more the blue lake and rapid Rhone, that had been so dear to me in early childhood; but my general state of feeling was a torpor in which a prison was as welcome a residence as the divinest scene in nature; and these fits were seldom interrupted but by paroxysms of anguish and despair. At these moments I often endeavoured to put an end to the existence I loathed, and it required unceasing attendance and vigilance to restrain me from committing some dreadful act of violence. Yet one duty remained to me, the recollection of which finally triumphed over my selfish despair. It was necessary that I should return without delay to Geneva, there to watch over the lives of those I so fondly loved and to lie in wait for the murderer, that if any chance led me to the place of his concealment, or if he dared again to blast me by his presence, I might, with unfailing aim, put an end to the existence of the monstrous image which I had endued with the mockery of a soul still more monstrous. My father still desired to delay our departure, fearful that I could not sustain the fatigues of a journey, for I was a shattered wreck - the shadow of a human being. My strength was gone. I was a mere skeleton, and fever night and day preyed upon my wasted frame. Still, as I urged our leaving Ireland with such inquietude and impatience, my father thought it best to yield. We took our passage on board a vessel bound for Havre-de-Grace and sailed with a fair wind from the Irish shores. It was midnight. I lay on the deck looking at the stars and listening to the dashing of the waves. I hailed the darkness that shut Ireland from my sight, and my pulse beat with a feverish joy when I reflected that I should soon see Geneva. The past appeared to me in the light of a frightful dream; yet the vessel in which I was, the wind that blew me from the detested shore of Ireland, and the sea which surrounded me told me too forcibly that I was deceived by no vision and that Clerval, my friend and dearest companion, had fallen a victim to me and the monster of my creation. I repassed, in my memory, my whole life - my quiet happiness while residing with my family in Geneva, the death of my mother, and my departure for Ingolstadt. I remembered, shuddering, the mad enthusiasm that hurried me on to the creation of my hideous enemy, and I called to mind the night in which he first lived. I was unable to pursue the train of thought; a thousand feelings pressed upon me, and I wept bitterly. Ever since my recovery from the fever I had been in the custom of taking every night a small quantity of laudanum, for it was by means of this drug only that I was enabled to gain the rest necessary for the preservation of life. Oppressed by the recollection of my various misfortunes, I now swallowed double my usual quantity and soon slept profoundly. But sleep did not afford me respite from thought and misery; my dreams presented a thousand objects that scared me. Towards morning I was possessed by a kind of nightmare; I felt the fiend's grasp in my neck and could not free myself from it; groans and cries rang in my ears. My father, who was watching over me, perceiving my restlessness, awoke me; the dashing waves were around, the cloudy sky above, the fiend was not here: a sense of security, a feeling that a truce was established between the present hour and the irresistible, disastrous future imparted to me a kind of calm forgetfulness, of which the human mind is by its structure peculiarly susceptible.

[saikostories]

FT - A Moment With You pt11

She woke up.. her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room. She tried lifting herself up with her elbows but gasped loudly as a stab of pain erupted around her chest. With a cringing face, she looked at her stomach… and found herself wrapped from her breasts all the way to her belly button with medical bandage. She was wearing nothing else on top and had shorts for her bottom. Gritting through the pain, she sat up completely and let her feet off the side of the bed. She looked around the room.. it was the infirmary. The other beds in the room were filled with other guild mates who had been hurt. They were sound asleep. Gently, she let her feet touch the cold floor of the room. Finding her keys and belt on the little stand next to her bed, she took them and walked soundlessly towards the door. Putting her belt on, she slowly opened the door and kept her hands on her keys. What she saw next…was unbelievable.

Despite the hall being pitch black.. she was able to see a magical outline of everything around her. She saw the flow of magic, everywhere around her. There were spirit particles.. rising here and there.. Everything was so vivid and clear despite the dark night. Taking baby steps, Lucy walked down the hall until she arrived at the second floor balcony. Her eyes widened at the damage of the guild hall… she clenched her fists.. a hole on the side of the wall.. tables and chairs broken.. much had been left as is… her heart broke and she clenched her chest. She looked towards Master's office and saw his spiritual signature inside.

Knock Knock.

Startled, he looked up towards his office door.

"Come in" Master Makarov said.

The door opened… and in came Lucy Heartfilia.

"LUCY!" Master Makarov rushed towards her.. "Hello Master" She smiled as she leaned against the door frame for support.

He extended his hand out and helped her to the couch.

"What are you doing out of bed! You need to rest child" "I've slept enough." Lucy said softly. "Lucy…" "I'm sorry master.. I'm…. so sorry…" a tear trailed down her face.

His eyes widened.. he put his hand on hers.. gently squeezing them with his fatherly hands.

"There is nothing you need to apologize for.. it is I who need to apologize to you." Lucy's looked towards Master Makarov.. tears rolling down her face.. she was shocked to find tears running down his as well.

"My child.. I should have told you from the beginning.. I knew you were hiding something about your health from me.. from us.. You see.. a friend of mine lives at the very village you took your S-class mission… his name is Brom."

Lucy's eyes widened.

"He didn't tell me anything in detail.. but he did warn me to make sure that you take a break from being a mage.. and that is why I had suspended you.. to protect you… but if I had known that you were—"

"It's okay master. I understand." Lucy said smiling warmly. "I understand now." "Lucy… I am truly sorry.." He looked at her right hand.. her bare right hand. He gently picked it up.. with both hands.. and covered the back of her hand with his. With a glow of yellow light.. Lucy stared with teary eyes at her hand… Master let his hand slide away to show Lucy her hand. "Welcome home child." Master Makarov said smiling. On the back of her hand… was once again the pink insignia of Fairy Tail. She smiled and gave Master her signature wide smile.

"I'm home.."

-

His eyes shot open.. he rose from his spot and looked up towards the horizon.. his eyes narrowed as he saw the fast approaching shadow.

CRAASSHHHHH* Metal scratching upon rock was heard.

"Metallicana…" Igneel grinned. "Igneel" Metallicana walked around Igneel, smirking. "I see you've met my son and his friends" "Ha.. MY son and his friends came looking for me.. they freed me in exchange for something precious to me.. thanks to you" Metallicana growled. "If it hadn't been for me.. you wouldn't be standing there… unchained and free." Igneel growled back… "Tch… and what…. am I supposed to thank you? For your kindness?" Metallicana scoffed. Igneel growled in irritation… smoke billowed from his mouth..

Metallicana grinned in victory.. his sharp teeth visible in his wide smile.. "How would you like to fly once again?" Igneel's eyes narrowed on Metallicana.

"Don't play around with me…" Igneel took a threatening step towards Metallicana. Metallicana grinned and went towards Igneel's chained foot. He bit the chain and began munching. The chains crumbled and finally… Igneel's foot was free.

RRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR! Igneel let out his heart. He spread his wings… and jumped into the sky. Metallicana munching the chains.. smirked and he too spread his wings and flew up into the sky.

-

The next morning

Guild members trickled in.. helping to rebuild and repair the guild. Guild members in the infirmary were thankfully healing well. Each and every person helped smiling and laughing.. but oddly.. a select few had not come to guild yet. Clanking of metal was heard.. everyone turned their eyes towards the guild door. Erza walked in… shocked at how the guild had gotten damaged so extensively again.

"Erza.." Mira said walking up to her. "welcome back." "Sorry Mira.. I got caught up with some RavenTail mages that were trailing me. I should have come sooner.." Erza said looking around. "No no.. it's okay Erza. We took care of RavenTail here. The council arrested them all. Everyone's fine and we just have some patching up to do." "Is…. Lucy…" Erza said hesitantly.. she didn't know why but this time.. Erza Scarlett was truly scared to know what had happened to her teammate.. fearing the worst.. "She's upstairs in the infirmary." Mira said looking up towards the second floor. Erza walked past Mira and walked up to the second floor. She walked down the hallway with her metal boots making thud noises as she walked. She saw the door to the infirmary open and heard talking inside. Peering through the door slowly.. she saw Lucy sitting on a bed.. with many others in their own beds.. Lucy was smiling and talking to Levy. Levy gripping onto Lucy's hand. Erza's heart settled.. and she let out a breath of relief..

"Erza…" Lucy called out to her.

Erza stared into Lucy's eyes.. and smiled. She walked up to the side of her bed. "Lucy…." Erza stood by her bed. Lucy smiled.

Suddenly, Erza jumped onto Lucy and gave her a really tight hug. "ERZA! ERZA! I CAN'T BREATHE!" Lucy choked. "Don't you dare run away again.. Don't you dare hide things like that ever again.." Erza said softly.

Lucy froze.. and smiled warmly. She hugged Erza back. "Okay."

Erza let Lucy go and she sat on the bed with Lucy. "So… Tell me everything."

"uhm… " Lucy said smiling and sweat dropping.

Levy smiled. "Yea Lu-chan. Tell us everything. Start from the very beginning." "Well…" Lucy said looking at her right hand. The pink FairyTail stamp once again in its rightful place.

-

Natsu, Gajeel, and Wendy were running through the forest. Their senses were telling them that they were close.. their smells.. Rushing past rows of trees, they came across a clearing.. a beautiful meadow. Wendy's eyes widened.. tears brimming.. she ran full speed..

"GRANDEENEY!" Wendy ran and hugged her dragon's nose. "Wendy…." Grandeeney nuzzled closer to Wendy's body. "How have you been my child." "I missed you so much!..." Wendy cried into her mom's embrace.

"IGNEEL! You're here!" Natsu ran up to his dragon and jumped onto Igneel's back. "Natsu.." Igneel laughed heartily, rolling onto his side.

Gajeel ran up to Metallicana and headbutted the dragon full speed. He grinned.. "Gihi… knew you'd come back for me." "You brat.. I've still got some pounding left for you. 14 years worth of it." Metallicana grinned as he brought Gajeel in for a wrestle.

All the while, their exceeds watched their dragon slayers reunite with their parents. All three had tears flowing down their faces.. and a wide smile.

"Come on over Happy! Meet my dad!" "Carla~ Meet my mom!" "Lily! Get over here!"

Looking at each other, the three exceeds smiled.. and extended out their wings. They flew full speed towards their family.

A week had gone by.. the guild was repaired and everything was back to normal. At least.. what could be called normal after everything they had gone through. Lucy was no longer expelled and a full raging party was being planned for when she was fully recovered. Laxus had finally decided to drop by at the end of the week to the guild due to Master's threats.. but he remained strictly reclusive. He kept himself locked up in the Master's office doing paperwork or in his own S-class office. Natsu, Wendy, and Gajeel were nowhere to be found. Nor were their exceeds. Lucy was sitting at her usual spot at the bar.. sipping on her strawberry smoothie. Gray and Erza took their seats on each side of Lucy and were happily spending time together. Mira was drying mugs and talking with them happily. Levy was with Shadow Gear trying to pick a mission off the mission board. Cana was drinking away with Wakaba and Macao.

"So…Lucy… would you like to go on a mission?" Gray asked swirling the ice cubes in his glass of water. "Gray.. I don't think Lucy should go on missions for a while.. she still needs to recover." Mira said concerned. "Yes.. I agree with Mira—" Erza said "Sure I'd love to go on a mission with you." Lucy said smiling. She turned towards Mira and Erza.. "I'll be fine. I'm all healed now." "Lucy.. we don't know how the lacrima is affecting your body. How about waiting just a bit longer. Just in case" Mira said putting the mug down. "I feel fine Mira. In fact, I feel better than ever. I feel energized and I've been stuck here for a week!" Lucy said pouting. Gray smiled.. he put a hand on her head and patted it. Lucy turned her head over towards Gray with her pouting face.

"Another time then.. I would like to NOT get in trouble by Erza or Mira thank you." Gray said sweatdropping. Lucy looked over at Erza and Mira.. both had demonic auras radiating from their bodies.. BIG SISTER PROTECTIVE MODE

"Hehe… okay okay! I won't go on a mission!" Lucy said with her hands up in defeat. "Okay!" Mira said smiling happily now. "Hmm." Erza smiled and continued to eat her strawberry cake. "Don't worry princess, your prince has arrived. You shall never be bored with me around" Loke came up behind Lucy and hugged her. "Loke!" Lucy said startled. "When did you get here?!" "Sup." Gray said sipping his water as he raised an eyebrow at Loke. "Hello Gray." Loke said smiling. "Mira… Erza" he nodded at the two ladies. "Loke.. you're bold as always." Mira said shaking her head. "Yes.. I shall be open and proud of my love for Lucy. And with each day, our bond grows stronger and stronger..." Loke said with a hand up in the air. "Loke…" Lucy said sweatdropping.

Gray just rolled his eyes as he smiled at his friend's dramatic and repetitive confession of love towards Lucy. Loke saw with the corner of his eye Gray's rolling of his eyes.

"You're just jealous.. that your bond with Lucy.. will never be as strong and intimate as mine." Loke said smirking.

…

…

…

Gray's face began to turn red. Mira and Erza stared frozen at Lucy and Loke.

"NO NO YOU HAVE IT ALL WRONG! THERE IS NO INTIMACY!" Lucy was shaking her head. Her face was red and steaming. "LOKE YOU STUPID LION!" "Loke… you wouldn't be spreading lies to stain Lucy's honor right?" Erza looked towards Loke with a glare. "OF COURSE NOT!" Loke sweatdropped. "Good." Erza said returning back to her cake.

Loke and Gray sweatdropped at Erza's seemingly increased over protectiveness of Lucy.

"Loke.. you shouldn't say such things in public. People will get the wrong idea.. and I'm going to tell Aries." Lucy said sipping her smoothie. "Heh…. I'm Kidding! I promise...." Loke said smiling. “Anyway... I came because I have something to tell you.” Lucy’s smile dropped at the seriousness of his tone. Gray sat up straighter as he prepared to hear bad news. “It’s about the lacrima inside your body... and the dragon you are tied to.”

Erza and Mira shared a look before nodding. “I’ll go get the master.” Mira ran up the stairs to the second floor and barely a minute later, Makarov had come down, Laxus following.

“What is it Loke? Makarov asked. Loke took another sigh.

“Draco... as you know was the Celestial Dragon. However, she went by another name... Cosmologia.” Lucy’s eyes widened.

“Wait... I’ve heard that name before... As in the celestial god Cosmologia? From all the stories that celestial mages had to read in order to prepare themseleves for using magic?” Loke nodded.

“If Igneel is the Dragon king... Then Cosmologia is... was the Dragon queen. She’s the strongest dragon in existence.”

“How do you even know this?” Laxus asked with his eyebrow raised.

“The celestial spirit king was the ruler of the Celestial realm... You honestly think that he wouldn’t know about Cosmologia?” Laxus nodded. He had to admit. It made sense that a spirit king would know about a spirit dragon... But still... why did Loke need to be so serious? What was he not telling? “I won’t delve into the depths of Cosmologia’s history but lucy... That dragon lacrima is no ordinary lacrima.... It is the definition of power. You are the strongest dragon slayer in existence. With training.... Even someone like Laxus would have a difficult time going against you.” Lucy couldn’t even believe her ears.

I’m that powerful?

“You have to understand that this power is insanely dangerous. You can manipulate space and time. You can cross dimensions and furthermore, you can use spells that normal dragon slayers... like Gajeel, Wendy and Natsu would only dream of using.” Loke clenched his fist and walked over to Lucy. She widened her eyes as he pulled her into a hug.

“Loke...” She whispered.

“I’m sorry... I can’t help but think that perhaps If I had known sooner... We could have looked for another way. Gray... Natsu... Gajeel... Laxus... They all acted in your best interest... To Save you... because they loved you but....” A sob escaped him as tears began falling down his face. The rest of the guild were silent now, watching the exchange between the celstial mage and her spirit. “I just wished there was another way...” Lucy brought her hand to his back and rubbed circles as she let Loke cry on her shoulder.

“It’s okay... Loke look at me...” The lion pulled away to gaze into her big brown eyes. He couldn’t help but notice how they sparkled now... and they seemed to have little flecks of gold with them. “I’m okay...” He nodded and smiled. Yeah. She’s okay... and he flashed away.

"wow...." Mira said giggling.

“Alot to take in...” Erza said. Lucy turned back to her milkshake and stirred with the straw. Laxus turned away on his heel and walked back to the table currently occupied by his thunder legion.

“Lucy my child... I recommend you stay at the guild for now... Just until we can see how your power changes. Then we can look at how to train you.” Gray put his hand on Lucy’s head. She flinched a little but smiled warmly at him.

“Don’t worry Jiji... We’ll make sure she doesn’t go anywhere.” He said laughing.

-

After some chatting.. some laughing..

"Well.. I'm going to go back to FairyHills to pack for my mission.. Master is sending me on a errand tomorrow. Good night." Erza said getting up from her seat. They said their goodbyes and Mira went off to collect dirty plates and mugs from the guild tables.

Lucy and Gray sat together alone at the bar.

"So… since you can't go on a mission… you want to go get dinner then?" Gray said scratching his head.

Lucy's eyes widened.. she looked over at Gray.

"Ahem.. I mean.. I want to know how my future self was like—" Gray said taking a sip from his cup again. "I'd love to get dinner with you Gray." Lucy said smiling. Gray's eyes widened and he looked up at her face. Her warm smile. "But first.. you need to find your clothes." Lucy said covering her eyes.

"When did this happen!" Gray looked at himself. He only had boxers on. He scrambled around looking for his clothes while Lucy giggled at his clumsiness.

"Okay. I'm ready." Gray said after a couple minutes. Lucy uncovered her eyes. Fully dressed now, Gray extended a hand out to her. Smiling she put her hand on his and used his hand to help herself off the bar stool. She still had bandages underneath her clothes and her chest still hurt from time to time. She let go of his hand and began walking with Gray to the guild doors. They said their byes to everyone and left talking about what each other wanted to eat. Behind a pillar… Juvia watched the guild doors close shut. Her heart shattered to pieces and her bangs covered her eyes.. tears fell down her face.

-

They were at a restaurant.. their table right next to the large window panes that showed the street. People were passing by with umbrellas. Couples huddled together.. Children jumping into puddles. Others running to get to dry shelter. It was pouring.

Cough Cough…

"So.. tell me Lucy" Gray smiled as he took a forkful of his steak. "How was my future self?" Lucy smiled.. she was twisting a fork of pasta. "I'm assuming that smile is a good sign.." Gray said raising an eyebrow.

"Yes….. You were….? " She thought back to the Gray that reached over to cool her head when they first had met… his nearly always half naked body.. the taller and more built physique.. their date on the train.. her falling asleep in his cool tingling arms and chest… her cheeks burned. Gray watched wide-eyed as Lucy began to blush furiously. He thought of what his future self had told him..

"Lucy isn't as immune to us as we thought.. I mean.. I did take her on her first date. The next move is yours.."

"You were you." He blinked several times.. Lucy smiled at Gray's lost face. "You were like you always are. Caring, funny, smart.." Gray's cheeks began to pink. His heart rate sped up.. "Just that in seven years.. you'll be a little taller.. a bit more mature.. and.."

"And what?" Gray leaned in. "Still stripping all time." Lucy said sweatdropping. Gray's face paled.. his hand went to palm his face.

"Ugh…."

"Hahaha!" Lucy's laughter filled his ears. She smiled at him.. she thought to herself.

Gray… you will become a admirable man.. a man who is strong and loving.. rational and true to your own heart… not afraid to express what his true feelings are.. and who they are for.. any woman would be lucky to have you.

She watched Gray chew slowly at his steak. "You were like a knight in shining armor." Lucy said smiling down at her pasta. Gray's eyes widened… he stopped cutting his steak. He looked up at her. "When the future four.. you Natsu Gray and Laxus arrived… It was like they were sent to me.. to protect me.. coming at the right moment and time to help me through my most dangerous mission." Gray leaned closer and put his hand on hers. They smiled at each other.

A flash of lightning was seen and a rolling thunder was heard. Lucy looked out the window and so did Gray.. it was really pouring outside. Lucy frowned at little at the dark clouds above.. thunder.. Gray frowned at the little ripples of water on the street… rain. Both watched in silence… the storm ensuing outside. He was punching away again.. but this time.. his fists were lit up with lightning and he was punching boulders now.. lightning shot every where with each punch he gave..

Pant.. pant.. pant.. Laxus gritted his teeth..

No matter how much he tried to unsee it.. the images plagued his mind.. his future self.. his bloody hand.. Lucy's staple chest.. her pale writhing body… Ivan beckoning to him.. Asuka crying and covered in his father's evil paper puppets.

RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAA!

Laxus pushed himself further.. becoming a massive destructive lightning bolt to all his surroundings. Overwhelming regret.. guilt.. helplessness took over him… he slammed both his fists onto the forest floor. His hair and clothes soaked.. the rain poured down on him…

"Ice-make: Umbrella!" A beautiful ice umbrella appeared in Gray's hand. He smirked at Lucy and extended his elbow out to her to grab.

"Yes.. very cool Gray." Lucy laughed. She took his elbow and both mages walked down the rainy street alone. They walked in silence, neither knowing what else to say. The weather had affected them both.. and their minds were preoccupied with their own thoughts.

The rain.. Juvia must be crying right now… Gray thought to himself.

Laxus hasn't talked to me.. or even given me a glance since we've come back.. Gajeel and Natsu never came to see me either.. only Gray has.. did…. Did I do something wrong? Lucy thought to herself..

Soon, they were in front of her apartment. Gray faced Lucy and she to him.

"Thanks Gray for walking me back. And the dinner."

"You're welcome. I had fun." Gray lifted his hand up to his hair smiling

" Me too."

"I'm glad."

…

…

"Well I'm going to go in now. See you tomorrow Gray" Lucy said walking up the stairs to her apartment.

"Okay. See you later Lucy." Gray said watching her go. Lucy waved smiling before she went inside her door. Gray waved back and saw her disappear. He turned around.. and began walking down the street again.. He had a determined look on his face… he had something he needed to do. She watched Gray's spiritual signature become smaller and smaller as Gray walked away. She was leaning against her door.. After Gray had gone far enough, Lucy went out into the street once again. Checking that no one was around, she ran towards the town exit.. towards the forest.

"Gajeel…" "What." Gajeel said munching on his dinner. He had cooked some fish over a campfire. Lily was eating his fish happily next to him. "That celestial girl… do you like her?"

Gajeel froze. He remained silent.. he couldn't answer.. because he didn't know.. he didn't know what his exact feelings were for her..

"I want you to bring her here."

…

…

…

"Why?" Gajeel said with a serious face.

…

Lily gulped at the tension between the dragon and his dragon slayer.

"Just bring her. Tomorrow." Metallicana shifted his head and rested it between his paws. He closed his eyes and went to sleep. Gajeel brought his hands to his lap.. he frowned slightly as he was in deep in thought. He had been avoiding the guild.. specifically Levy and Lucy.. Both. Before FairyTail.. he never needed anyone.. never needed anyone to rely on.. or be relied on.. but now.. the two girls plagued his mind endlessly… sure he was interested in the two innocent babes.. both cute and sexy in their own way… but it didn't mean he was ready for commitment.

No.. Gajeel Redfox didn't need any girls.. and he was desperately trying to keep it that way.

Gajeel sighed and leaned back against his dad's stomach. He looked up at the night sky.. the stars twinkled all across the black canvas.. The crackling of the fire and the deep breaths Metallicana drew and exhaled were heard in the cool summer night.

Stars.. bunnygirl…

Gray was almost home.. when he saw a figure standing in front of him home. He walked closer and found a soaking wet Juvia standing waiting for him. He ran up and held out the umbrella over her head.

"Juvia. What are you doing here." Gray said to her. He saw that she had been indeed crying… figures.. since all of Magnolia was under her rainy spell. "Gray-sama….." Juvia said weakly… "Did Gray-sama go on a date with Love Rival?"

Her bangs were covering her eyes.

Gray sighed.. "Look Juvia…" "Did Gray-sama go on a date with Love Rival!?" Juvia looked up at him with teary eyes.. anger in her eyes..

…

"Yes." Gray said frowning in irritation. "Are you happy now?" he tried to walk past her when she caught Gray's wrist. "WHY!" Juvia yelled.

Gray turned to face Juvia.. her face showed her despair..

"WHY DOES GRAY-SAMA NOT LOVE JUVIA.. AND LOVE LOVERIVAL! WHY?!... why can't… why can't Gray-sama love Juvia…" she cried..

Gray didn't know what to say.. he looked at Juvia.. with a pained face..

"Is… there no room for Juvia in Gray-sama's heart? Juvia… Juvia loves Gray-sama.. with all her heart.." Juvia clenched her chest.. she sobbed hard. "Juvia…" "Why can't Gray-sama see Juvia…"

He came up and hugged her gently.. Juvia's teary eyes widened..

"I'm sorry Juvia.. I shouldn't treat you like that.. I should have given you a chance.. everyone deserves a chance… so please stop crying.." Juvia froze.. Gray let go of her and cupped her face with his hands.. he rubbed her tears away with his thumbs.. "How would you like to go for dinner tomorrow?" Gray said with concern showing in his eyes. Juvia sniffled.. her cheeks began to burn as she realized the situation she was in with Gray.. it was so romantic.. and now he was asking her on a date..

"Yes" Juvia said blushing.. "Good.. I'll see you tomorrow then." Gray said as he put down the umbrella.. the clouds were disappearing and now the sky was clearing up. "Come on.. I'll walk you back to FairyHills." Gray said turning around to walk. "No It's okay. Juvia can walk back by herself." "I'm not going to let you walk back alone.. come on." Gray said turning to her sideways. "Okay.." Juvia blushed and rushed up beside Gray's side. The two walked in silence.. Juvia's face red and flushed.. her internally exploding with happiness. Gray looked forward with his usual serious normal face.

Juvia… Lucy…

It had stopped raining.. and through a puff of fluffy clouds.. the moon came out of hiding. She looked up.. bubbles rose up towards the water surface.. she could see the moonlit water surface waving softly above. Her hair floated around her in gentle waves. Other than the bubbles gurgling up, she heard nothing.. silence.. no smell.. and the cold water on her skin was soothing and refreshing.. she felt weightless… she needed this.. much needed relief of her senses.. having the dragon lacrima had heightened her senses too quickly and drastically… to be honest.. everything hurt.. all of her senses. Also, the aching in her chest was getting stronger despite having been completely healed by Wendy's healing magic.. and she felt this increasing need.. something in her chest kept urging her to let herself go.

Clenching her chest, Lucy let out a burst of her magic. The water swirled around her and was pushed away from her body.. it created a spherical pocket of air.. and in the middle of it… Lucy levitated at its very center. Bright magical strings swirled around her body.. rotating upwards from below her toes to above her head. The ache dulled… Lucy watched the swirling magic strings around her.. she brought her hand up and touched one.. it slipped by her fingers and continued its course upwards. She looked down and descended down deeper. The pocket of air followed her.. and she descended till she gently placed her feet on ground. She admired the swirling water wall around her.. Taking her keys on her belt, she put Loke's key out in front of her and called for him.

A flash.. and Loke stood beside her.

"Prince—" Loke said as his eyes widened as he saw Lucy standing.. wet and emitting powerful magic pressure. He saw the magic strings swirling around her body and then noticed the water wall that was surrounding them. He was speechless.. "Wha… What?"

Lucy had two keys on each hand and extended them out from her body… they began to glow..

Flash Flash.. "Hime" Virgo appeared… and next to her stood a shy Aries..

"Lucy…" Loke said surprised and with wide eyes.… She had just opened three gates at once.. while still maintaining the pocket of air in the mass of water they were in. Virgo and Aries looked around wide-eyed as well.. at their master...

So this must be what Cosmologia’s power is like... Loke thought as he watched the pressure in the air build up and up.

Lucy looked to be in deep thought.. she had the three keys in one hand now.. and the rest in the other… the ache in her chest… had lessened when she summoned her spirits… it was then that she realized.. the ache wasn't because she wasn't healing.. it was because the lacrima was emitting too much magic for her body to handle at the moment…

Smiling.. Lucy held out more keys in front of her. Above the lake surface… flash…flash… flash flash…. flashes of light were seen coming from inside the lake.. a warm dull light was shimmering from the deep depths of the lake. He watched the clouds above clear up slowly… it was truly an odd storm.. and he had hunched right that it was Juvia's doing.. exhausted.. he started walking back towards his home.. but as he was taking a step… he saw a dull flash from the corner of his eye. He looked towards the direction of the light.. he sensed nothing in the direction.. no enemies.. no smell no sound.. he continued walking towards him home when he saw two more dull flashes of light… and that was when he knew he wasn't hallucinating.. he walked towards the source.. going through many rows of trees and bushes.. he knew where he was headed.. but who was there?…

Reaching the clearing.. his eyes widened…

The lake had a glowing dull yet warm light inside the waters. Stronger flashes here and there.. and he could see the lake's waters being disturbed by whatever was in it.. small waves were hitting the shore in a fast pace… and he noticed.. that the water levels had risen… quite significantly. Taking off his shirt and pants.. he stepped into the water.. but the minute he had stepped in… the light disappeared.. and the lake turned dark. The lake water receded back and he could tell as his once submerged foot was no longer submerged but rather at the new water line of the lake. He tried scanning the dark lake for what had caused the light.. the waves were calming.. and he was about to give up his search when he heard the sound of bubbling and splashing on the other end of the lake.

He heard and saw several people splash out of the water and dash into forest for cover. Flashing over to the other end of the forest, he began running after one of the figures. But just as he was getting closer, the person went behind a tree and with a flash of light.. they disappeared.. Laxus looked around for the others that had run into the forest.. he saw other flashes of light… he didn't even get to see one of them closely at all… Flashing back to his clothes… he picked them up and was about to leave when he froze in his tracks… he looked back at the lake… his eyes widened…

On the shore… was a girl washed up.. he walked over carefully.. his heartbeat increasing with each step he got closer… because as he did.. he noticed her hair.. her belt.. her keys…

He ran over and pushed her to lay on her back…

"LUCY!"

She looked up at him with half open eyes… Her body was shaking terribly.. He picked up her bridal style and lightning transported away.

-

He slammed his front door open and ran to his couch. He put Lucy in front of the fireplace and quickly zapped the firewood on fire. He ran upstairs and came down with a towel. Wrapping it around Lucy completely, he checked her face and forehead. She looked so weak and she was freezing.

She was trembling.. her face pale... He went into the kitchen to warm her up some tea. Not saying a word. Lucy herself remained silent.. when the water had boiled enough, he brought her the cup of tea. Taking it with shaking hands, she slowly sipped at it and let out a breath of relief. Laxus was frowning down at her as he stood. Lucy glanced up and saw his frowning face... her eyes widened.

Those eyes… those aren't the same eyes.. his warm engulfing eyes..

She averted her eyes away.. and stared at the fire before her. Laxus turned around and gazed forward.

"What.. were you doing... no... what were you even thinking?" he said in a low voice.

The fire crackled..

She tugged at the towel closer to her body.. "I... It was hurting too much…" she said softly..

He froze… Laxus' eyes widened.. he looked at her at the corner of his eyes. She was holding her knees to her chest.. trembling….

Then it hit him.. it made sense now… her senses.. the lacrima itself.. was still too powerful for her body to handle. Yes her body had accepted it.. but the overwhelming power of the lacrima was still causing strain to her. Her new found senses… were probably too much for her to handle all at once.. and in the water… sound was dulled.. smell was nonessential… and touch.. the cool gentle water must have been heaven to her sensitive skin. And letting out her magic.. must have eased the pain… She was going through everything he had.. he knew too well the pain and torture the lacrima would cause her body in the months to come. He took a step foward only to hesitate.

No... This lacrima wasn’t anything like his.

Sure, it exerberated the same characteristics but... It was ultimately a different kind of dragon lacrima all together. Like Loke had said... Anyone could have a lightning lacrima or a fire lacrima. A celestial lacrima was specific. It had an enormous amount of power that could still rip her apart if not handled correctly. What was his future self thinking? Was he even thinking?

He frowned as he closed his eyes in frustration. He walked over to Lucy and took her by her shoulders. Lifting her up onto her feet, he pushed her to the bathroom. He put the hot water on in the tub and went out of the bathroom. He stood with his back facing the bathroom door.. He waited to hear for any movements inside. Hearing her step into the tub, he walked to the couch and plopped himself onto it. He rubbed the bridge of his nose… frustrated and guilt-ridden..

"And you will do whatever it takes so that she does….. you don't want to live in a future where doesn't exist"

He had forgotten what his future self had said. He had been too busy dealing with his own problems that he avoided her at all costs.. her face.. her presence reminded him too much of what had to be done for her to survive.. and what his father had done to try and get her. Laying back on his back, he closed his eyes. As he took in deep breaths.. he inhaled her scent.. it was oddly soothing for someone he didn't particularly know.. and the day's toll finally overtook him.. a veil of exhaustion swept over him. After lying in the warm water for over an hour, her body temperature finally stabilized. Her magic finally recovered and she was as back to normal as she could be. She could smell Laxus in the living room.. and a sense of guilt over came her. She decided that she needed to get out. A deep sense of fatigue hit her as she stood up and got dressed in the robe he had hanging on the door. Opening the bathroom door, she saw him lying so peacefully on the couch. She knelt next to him and admired his sleeping face.

"Why have you been ignoring me?" She thought to herself. "Be patient with me…" his voice echoed in her head.

"I know we don't know each other very well.. but.. please tell me if I did something wrong.. will you look at me.. with those eyes again.. do you see me?" "Don't be scared of me…"

Softly.. she leaned her head onto his chest.. right over his heart.. she closed her eyes.

bathump… bathump…. bathump…

It was soothing… like every time he had held her.. It was like a soft lullaby to her aching ears..

He opened his eyes.. and watched Lucy silently. Her head on his chest.. her chest rising up and down slowly.. she was so calm around him.. did she not fear him? After everything? After the thunder palace incident? After his future self… did that? After she got to see how ruthless his father was.. and that his father's own blood ran in his veins.. and how he had done nothing less different to Lucy than what was done to himself? How…

Trying to keep his breathing and heartbeat normal.. he watched Lucy silently.. he was in awe of her.. what made her, this beautiful princess of a girl, beat all odds and survive.. despite everything she had gone through, she had maintained her innocence, her sanity, her optimism, her light. He knew that she had been kidnapped countless times and beaten.. been the center of many major threats to the guild.. she even survived a rare disease.. and just like him she survived the implantation of a dragon lacrima.. and through it all, she rose up even stronger than before. Her breathing evened out and he could tell he had fallen asleep. Knowing full well that she would wake up with an aching neck, he gently nudged Lucy on the shoulder.

"Yo.. blondie.."

She raised her head up slowly and looked at him with half open eyes..

"Go sleep in the bed."

She nodded sleepily and put her head back down on his chest. The edges of his mouth curled up slightly at how sleepy Lucy.. was actually pretty cute. He pushed himself up using his arms.. Lucy's head remained leaning on his chest and was lifted up as well. He gently put his arm under her head and with a swift motion, he carried Lucy up bridal style. He walked to the stairs and began ascending when he felt Lucy nudge closer to him. He walked down the hallway of the second floor and arrived at his bedroom. Gently getting on the bed on his knees, he put Lucy softly onto the bed. He was about to let her go.

"I'm sorry…." She mumbled.

Laxus stared at her.. she was still in his arms partially and her hair was covering part of her face.

"For…. What?" he said softly. "Don't…. be mad…" she nudged her head onto Laxus' arms. Lifting his hand.. he brushed her hair away from her face. She was certainly sleeping now. He gently removed his arm away from her head and put the blanket snuggly up to her neck. He got up and went to his bedroom door.. with one last look at sleeping Lucy.. he closed the door with a soft click.

-

Morning..

Her eyes adjusted to the sunlight in the room.. her eyes widened and she shot up noticing that the bedroom.. was indeed NOT her bedroom. She looked at the bedsheets and the furniture around her… it looked familiar…

LAXUS

Shooting out of bed, she looked around frantically for her clothes. Finding it dry and neatly folded on the side table, she quickly changed. After getting ready, she gently opened the bedroom door and walked down the hall silently. She had tried looking for her keys in the room but found her belt gone. Slowly and cautiously.. she walked down the stairs and found Laxus lying on the couch… shirtless. He was eating some toast with coffee.

"So you've finally decided to wake up." "Heh… Good morning." Lucy said as she walked closer to Laxus slowly. She spotted her belt and keys on the kitchen counter. Laxus saw her at the corner of his eyes. "Nice belt. Who gave it to you?" he asked sitting up now. He looked at her with a blank face. "uhm…" Lucy said as she walked up to the counter and took the belt. "you did actually."

Laxus froze… Lucy examined his face to see his reaction.. he looked to be in deep thought.

"Well.. your future self… I mean." She said as she put the belt around her waist. "Thank you Laxus… for taking care of me… and letting me spend the night.."

In the midst of putting on the belt, her hand touched against her keys.. and she saw a two spiritual signature approaching them. Her eyes widened. Laxus noticed her shock at the front door. He rose an eyebrow in confusion and looked towards the door. And within seconds, he smelled them. He was shocked as well. Shocked that they were here.. but more importantly.. how had she sensed them before he did..

Within seconds.. BANG BANG BANG.

Laxus got up from the couch and walked over to the front door. He opened it and was face to face with Gajeel and Lily.

"Hello Laxus." Lily said. "Where's bunnygirl?" Gajeel said with a serious face. Laxus frowned a little in annoyance and stepped aside to show Lucy standing a few feet away.

"Hi Gajeel.. Lily." Lucy said walking up to them slowly. "Hello Lucy." Lily waved from Gajeel's shoulder. "It's good to see you healed and well." "Thank you… I'm sorry but.. what are you doing here?" Lucy asked confused. She was standing in front of Gajeel and Lily now. "What are you doing here with him?" Gajeel growled as he crossed his arms. He looked at Laxus with his red eyes and Laxus in return glared back at Gajeel.. "What if she's here with me…. You've got a problem with it?" Laxus said in a dark low voice. Gajeel growled.. he was not happy to not find Lucy at her own apartment.. he was not happy to have to smell Lucy out and find her at Laxus' place of all places.. and he was NOT happy to find her smelling like Laxus… and why the heck was Laxus shirtless.. the two had been alone.. together.. for who knows how long. The two commenced in a stare down.. Lucy looked at the two with nervous eyes.

"Ahem…." Lily said ignoring the two dragon slayers and the obvious tension between them. "Metallicana wants to meet you." "Me?" Lucy said surprised. Laxus and Gajeel continued to stare at each other, both refusing to back down. "Yes." Lily said "Why?" Lucy said "He didn't say. But we should get going as soon as possible. I've learned that Gajeel got his patience from Metallicana… and its not in a good way." Lily sweatdropped.

"Oh…. Okay." Lucy sweatdropped and looked towards Laxus. "Thanks again Laxus.. I'll make it up to you sometime."

Laxus didn't acknowledge Lucy.. he only continued to glare at Gajeel. Seeing that he was not going to give her a response, she looked away a little upset and began walking past him, Gajeel and Lily.. and out the door.

"Bye Laxus.. C'mon Gajeel.. let's go." Lily said flying off from his shoulder.

Gajeel growled and walked away… a brilliant idea popped in his mind. He caught up with Lucy and hoisted her up over his shoulder. "KYA! GAJEEL~!" Lucy yelled.

Gajeel looked at Laxus from the corner of his eyes.. and Laxus' reaction was exactly what he wanted to see. Laxus was clenching his fists and was death glaring Gajeel down.

With that, Gajeel smiled widely and began running.

"KYYAAA! GAJEEL PUT ME DOWN!" Lucy yelled. Lily flew after Gajeel.

In his fury.. Laxus slammed his front door shut.

They were deep in a forest.. Lucy was clenching onto Gajeel's shirt and tried her best to keep herself from swaying too much.. Yes.. she was still being carried by Gajeel over his shoulder. Gajeel and Lucy had remained painfully and awkwardly silent the entire 6 hour trip.. Lucy was mad at Gajeel for man handling her.. and Gajeel.. was not a talkative man. Lily had flown along side nervously.. waiting for either parties to make a move.. but now he could not take it anymore.

"It's good to see you recovered and well Lucy-san" Lily said land on Gajeel's other shoulder. Lucy smiled.. "Thank you Lily… but I'm not fully recovered… almost there though.." Gajeel frowned to her confession.

"Are you still hurting?" Lily said alarmed and concerned.. Lucy just kept smiling.. she didn't reply.. Lily looked at her more closely and found her clenching her fists quite hard.Gajeel stopped walking and he gently put Lucy's feet on the ground. He examined her face closely.. he had noticed that she was tense but he had thought it was cuz she didn't like being carried over his shoulder or even that she didn't like his touch.. As he gazed at her face with a frown.. he noticed her forehead wet with a slight sweat… her face was pale… and she looked like she could fall over.. She was gazing at the ground.

"Bunnygirl…" Gajeel said shocked.. "you.. are you hurting?" "No… I'm fine.. let's keep going.." Lucy said with a smile as she looked up at him. Gajeel took a hold of her left shoulder and gripped it tightly. Lucy's eyes widened from his sudden change in attitude.. she noticed that Gajeel kept his bandaged right hand clenched and by his side.

"Don't lie to me." Gajeel glared at her. "Gajeel… is something wrong with your right hand?" Lucy asked ignoring his question. "You better answer me.. I'm not going to ask again." Gajeel growled… his jaw clenched.. "I asked you if something was wrong with your right hand." Lucy growled back.. her staring right back into his glaring eyes.

"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION? IF YOU'RE IN PAIN.. JUST SAY YOU'RE IN PAIN.. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO ALWAYS KEEP IT TO YOURSELF." Gajeel yelled. "WHY DO I HAVE TO ANSWER YOU WHEN YOU DON'T ANSWER ANY OF MY QUESTIONS? I SAID I'M FINE. NOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR RIGHT HAND!?" Lucy yelled back. "NOTHING! ARE YOU HAPPY? AND I KNOW YOU'RE NOT FINE.. WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM WITH ADMITTING THAT YOU'RE IN PAIN! YOU'RE ALWAYS RUNNING AWAY.. ALWAYS HIDING NOW.. " "NOW LOOK WHO'S LYING NOW! AND ITS MY OWN PROBLEM! AND IM NOT RUNNING FROM ANYONE." "GGGRRRRRRRAAAAA!" Gajeel lifted both his hands up towards her face and was cringing to do something to her.. but just clenched his fists in frustration. "WHO WAS THE ONE WHO RAN AWAY IN THE FIRST PLACE.. WHO WAS THE ONE WHO HID THAT SHE WAS DDDYIINNNGG!" He roared.

Lucy flinched.. her face fell…

"YEA YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT.. " Gajeel yelled at her.

"Gajeel.." Lily tried to stop him.. he was really worried for Lucy now.. he had watched the two yell at each other.. he was surprised that Lucy held her ground against Gajeel.. it was amazing actually.

"No Lily… bunnygirl doesn't care about us.. or anyone in Fairytail…"

Lucy's eyes widened.. "If she cared.. she wouldn't have been so selfish in the first place.. you should have told us." Gajeel growled..

Silence….

Yes.. Gajeel was furious with Lucy.. he hadn't realized until he and Lucy began to fight.. he was furious that she hadn't told him that she was sick.. that she didn't tell anyone in FairyTail.. that she didn't trust that her friends could help her.. that they had a right to know as her loved ones.. and most importantly.. he was furious with himself that he had not caught onto it when she was in his care.. he should have known.. he should have seen it.. and deep inside.. he didn't want to admit that he honestly was afraid to touch her with the very hand…he had beaten her.. and cut into her stomach with. It felt stained.. stained with her blood.. he could still feel it.. the feeling… his right hand clenched trembling..

"I just…." Tears rolled down her face..

Lily smacked Gajeel's head with his paw and glared at Gajeel… for making Lucy cry. Gajeel looked at Lily with a shock and anger… he cautiously looked back at Lucy..

"Wanted to prove that I didn't need saving… that I.. could save myself…"

Gajeel and Lily stared at her with wide eyes..

"What are you talking about…" Gajeel said angry. "What.. you're saying you're weak? That you needed to prove yourself?"

Lucy looked up at him with watery eyes..

"WHAT THE…." Gajeel let out a deep breath.. "Look.. you are not weak.. aren't you the one that beat that chick at Mount Goyang all by yourself? Even with the future guys with you?" "Yes… but—" "Trust me bunny.. no one thinks you're weak.. it's your own mind that's making you weaker than you are. You are strong.. I know it.. everyone knows it.. " "Gajeel…" Lucy said softly as she cried.. "So don't you dare lie to my face.. think those stupid ideas.. or hide anything from me like that again…" Gajeel said frowning. "Cuz the next time you do…. I won't forgive you." "Okay…" Lucy said wiping her tears away. "You can't either." "Tch.. we'll see." "Gajeel.. that's not fair." "Well life ain't fair. Deal with it. C'mon.. dad's waiting." Gajeel said trying to walk around Lucy..

In the process, Lucy gently grabbed a hold of his right hand..

Gajeel looked at his hand with wide-eyes.. She gently weaved her fingers in between his and used her other hand to cover the back of his hand. He looked up at her face.. and she did the same.

"Thank you…" She said softly.

Lucy and Gajeel stared into each other's eyes.. Gajeel's red stern eyes at Lucy's beautiful brown watery eyes… Lily looked between Lucy.. Gajeel… and knew that something was growing between the two dragon slayers.. something new and exciting.. just one thing bothered him… what about Levy? What about Natsu?

Gajeel tried to take his hand away.. but Lucy held on tightly. In frustration, Gajeel began walking again and tugged Lucy along with his hand. He made sure not to go to fast but not too slow to show that he was being a softy.

"Levy… Natsu…. What are you going to do?" Lily thought to himself.