#if you read through all this nonsense ily and hope you have a good day

[leeleelikestoart]

I took a break, but I think I've got my motivation back! I'm gonna try and get a new page up this week! 💪🏽

[elsweetheart]

crystal champagne glasses — bodyguard!abby au

synopsis: when reader, the millionaires daughter can’t help but misbehave — Abby the no nonsense bodyguard is hired to live in the mansion.

♪ every man gets his wish — lana del rey (unreleased) ♪

cw: fem reader, mentions of money / money problems, overprotective parents, mentions of loss of a parent (not reader), daddy issues lol, sprinkle of mommy issues too, alcohol and drinking, tiny mention of being sick, reader working out mentions, brat tamer abby lol, size kink, reader cries and gets humiliated and angry a lot lol, degradation, masturbation, strap on sex, think that’s it?

an: i had so much fun writing this! this is the quickest i’ve ever written a fic, i think because i’ve been excited to write this one and planning it for ages! now, if you don’t like my writing please click off now. no one is forcing you to read my fics. to all the people who have been excited for this fic, ily and i hope you enjoy it! as always, minors + ageless blogs do not interact with this or any posts / fics of mine. you will be blocked! ♡

You weren’t a princess. You were not a princess. You wished you were, shit — maybe your parents would actually care about you. Unfortunately though, there was no royalty behind your name. Just two millionaire parents who would apparently rather be anywhere else but at home with you.

You had your own hobbies, friends, a life — back at home. But of course, if you had so much as wanted to leave the mansion to partake in such activities, such as socialising (God forbid!) you’d need an escort, a driver, secret security officers stalking you, creeping out all of your friends and more. After a while it just became… not worth it. So you stopped showing up, stopped hanging out with people — and understandably, your invite to meeting up with friends started to get supposedly lost in the post. Things get lonely fast.

Bitterness was hardly the word for it. You understood your circumstances and if you were anything it wasn’t ungrateful. Your father only wanted you to be safe, hence the dozens of hired body guards in and out (But you’ll get back to that in a moment, of course.) Your friends just assumed you didn’t wanna hang out anymore, hence the missed invites. You had only started misbehaving out of bitterne— no, not bitter. Pissed off. Rightfully.

You always felt dread when you saw the answer machine light up red with a new message from the only person who had the number — your father. Where on Earth could he be calling from this time? Perhaps lounging by the pool in Greece or dining at a rooftop garden in Dubai — experiencing the world and bravely taking a moment out of his incredibly busy day to drop you a patronising and vaguely threatening voicemail. Atleast he spoke to you, unlike your mother who’d much rather pretend you didn’t exist because, and you quote, the stress of your misbehaviour ‘gave her wrinkles.’ Your manicured finger hovered over the button before pressing down, huffing out your nose as you stared out at the morning fog over the grassy hills of your land.

‘Good morning darling, dad calling again. You keep missing my calls, which I assume is on purpose so I’m leaving you a message anyways. I’m currently in Amsterdam with your mother and I just caught wind of Malakai the bodyguard quitting ‘suddenly and abruptly’ according to one of the maids. I’ve told you once and I will tell you again, if you don’t stop harassing the guards and forcing them to quit you will be in serious trouble. I mean cut off completely, sent off to work in the city with no more than a shitty little apartment and no money. So, I have decided to give you one last chance. I’ve purchased a bodyguard to live in with you starting Sunday morning so you’re going to have to fend for yourself until then. I searched high and low for this one, apparently they specialise in poorly behaved brats like yourself — so I’m hoping if anything that will whip you into shape. You’ve been through five bodyguards this year and it’s February. I’m serious about my threats. Step a foot out of line and you’re done, your mother and I are deadly serious. I will be calling the new hire at the end of next week to check in on your behaviour. Do not let us down darling, you will regret it. Okay, that’s all. See you when I see you.’

You smile.

Oh, how sometimes things just worked out. A life of your own, with normality and struggle and freedom — no watchful eye breathing down your neck and no lack of purpose weighing down on you. Your father had presented you with the easiest task, piss off the new hire so that you’d be set free. A task you’d grown to perfect, having done so time and time again.

The crackle of wheels on the gravel path leading up to the mansion awakens you on the Sunday morning. You want to grumble, having gotten literally no sleep. You see, you were terribly afraid of the dark — and you couldn’t sleep without your guard having light the fire in the fireplace of your bedroom (The one use you found for the hired help.) You had no idea how to light it and didn’t trust yourself not to burn the house down — so you went without. Hence the awful nights sleep. Where were you? Yes, curious. Rudely awakened and curious.

Your short nightie does nothing to combat the cool morning chill as you get up from the bed, letting your bed covers slide off your body as you traipse over to your window. A black Range Rover, they’re all the same. All the same angry men that drive the same angry car, with the same angry build and the same angry face. You scoff at the memory of your fathers threat on the voice message, stating that this guard was to be anything you weren’t used to before. You knew it wasn’t anything you couldn’t handle.

Except, you were caught off guard when the door opens. You watch a woman climb out the car, despite the vehicles spacious design she still seemed to unfold like she was inflatable as she climbed out — almost seeming too big for even a car like that. She was built, strong arms and chest, tree trunk thighs and veiny hands. You narrow your eyes at the black sunglasses perched on the bridge of her jagged nose, taking them off as she looks around with a serious expression. She was attractive, you’d admit — but in a way that made you cross. That stupid skin tight black t-shirt and black cargos and thick weighty belt around her waist told you everything you needed to know about her. The militant type, she was going to try and intimidate you with her seriousness. You smirk, seeing this as a challenge. She has no idea what she’s up against.

You rush down the spiral stairs at the sound of her lugging her bags inside. She flicks her braid over her shoulder to glance at you standing there analytically as she does so, biceps bulging as she lifts the heavy black cases into the centre of your foyer stood beneath the chandelier. She looked much too harsh for somewhere delicate like this.

“I take it you aren’t going to introduce yourself.” She speaks after a moment of sorting her bags, closing the front door to signify she was done bringing her things inside. You cling to the tall bannister, toeing the cold pristine marble floor, eyeing her and her things as if each bag had a bomb inside. She stands up to her full height, atleast breaching the 6ft margin and you squint, watching her stretch her arms to relieve herself from the weight of the bags. “Off to a great start already.” She retorts as you ignore her, her long legs stepping over a black duffle bag on the floor toward you.

“Why are your bags so heavy?” You ask quietly, less curious and more judgemental. Who did she think she was moving in here with all that stuff? She takes a long inhale, accenting the muscle in her chest as she places her hands on her hips. Her reply is calm and unbothered.

“I brought my weights with me, and lots of other things I need to stay in my condition. Do you have a name?” Her voice is velvety and more feminine than you expected. Your stomach gets hot and prickly at the sound.

“You know my name. I can bet anything my father told you everything about me infact.” You jut your chin up stubbornly. It’s her turn to analyse now, tilting her head a little to the side as she leans on her hip, eyeing you once over and then again.

“Yeah. Your dad was kind enough to tell me all about you and how you treated your past bodyguards. But when you first meet someone, you introduce yourself. So introduce yourself.” There is a slight bite to your tone and your eyes flutter a bit. You’re used to men being agitated with you, infact you thrive off it— but you’ve never had a woman guard before. Something about the harsh tone hurt you just that little more. Shit, maybe you just had mommy issues.

You mutter your name, eyes laser focused on her clinging to the last shred of dignity you had — but when she gives you a curt nod and an equally quiet ‘There you go’ it perishes in the wind like a dying leaf crumbling away for winter. She turns, looking around at her bags before reaching over for the smallest one. “I’m Abby. As you probably guessed, I’m your new bodyguard.” She walks over to you and holds out the bag. You look at her and then at the bag, and then back at her.

“What am I supposed to do with this, Abby?” You cross your arms with a raised brow.

“You’re gonna carry it to my new room for me. I’m a guest in your home.” She raises her eyebrows, waving the bag infront of you signally for you to take it.

You stare at her in disbelief, before laughing bitterly. “You’re right. You’re a guest in my home. So I’m not carrying shit.” You spin on your heel to stomp up the stairs, but she cuts you off by speaking calmly yet firmly.

“Then you can sleep in the dark.”

You turn back around slowly, wearing a frown that creases your brow. How did she know about that?

“I spoke to some previous guards of yours. Said you were terrified of the dark and needed a fire lit in your room every night. Y’wanna sleep in dark? Or you wanna help me carry my bags?”

You stare her down for a moment, weighing out your options. She’d already dominated the conversation by getting your name out of you so easily, and now she was winning again. However, you were exhausted just from one night of restlessly pacing with your light on — too afraid to turn it off and go to sleep. You needed your sleep. That being said, you scowl and snatch the bag from her hand, the leather of it slapping against your leg as you carry it up the spiral stairs.

“Atta girl.”

You clench your jaw.

The week begins, and as do your antics. Abby wasn’t easily wound up, but that only made you want to go ten times harder. She was a bodyguard, not a babysitter — but she was starting to feel like her duties were beginning to cross wires. She knew your game, knew you were aiming for something — she could see the determination in your eyes everytime you’d sass her back. So, she’d play you back. Not give into what you want.

Her first real duty came on a Wednesday when she was lounging in the living room watching some God awful 2000s police chase show, and in came you — tottering on little heels and a skirt so short and tight she could tell the colour of your thong beneath. Not that she was looking, of course.

She leant her arm on the back of the couch, eyes flitting over you as you rummage for the keys that you were sure had been left by the maid on the coffee table. “Going somewhere?” It comes out nearly as a scoff, smirk etched onto her face and it makes you roll your eyes.

“Yes.”

“Where?”

“Out with my friends. The ones that still talk to me.” You’re distracted, pulling your small handbag back up onto your shoulder when it slides off, free hand feeling around in a decorative bowl for the key set. Abby stares at you for a moment, which — okay, is a little indulgent. She wasn’t being a creep, she could just appreciate that you looked good. Before you could turn to throw a glare her way she was muttering an ‘alright’ and heaving her heavy, toned body up to stand and stretch.

You turn and look at her questioningly and she stops to return your gaze. “What? You think I’m just living here with you for fun? C’mon, if you wanna go let’s go.” She nods towards the door, but stops after a few steps when she hears you snicker.

“No thanks. I’m a big girl.”

She crosses her arms and the smirk that makes you wanna throw darts at her stupid face returns. “That right? You think daddy just hired me to hang out around the house, then?”

You stare at her, pursing your lips before exhaling through your nose wordlessly — walking towards the door in defeat. You just wanted to go out, it had been so long. You’re sure you could just ignore Abby.

She follows behind you, now swinging her car keys round her finger — so smug. “How were you planning on getting to the club? You live in the middle of nowhere.”

“Uber.”

It’s her turn to snicker, opening the front door for you and standing aside as you walk through. “Yeah. Okay. C’mon.”

Screw her. Because now, for some reason she was in your head.

Maybe you just had a few… weaknesses. You always liked your girls on the masc side, on the buff side — but that was a given. Who isn’t attracted to that, right? However, watching hot girls drive was something else, and Abby was being that something else. You know— hand on the back of your seat when she reverses, bicep bulging when she grips the wheel of her sleek car, the lights of the night time traffic illuminating the way her top lip curled upwards a little and bottom lip pouted. You felt a little relief, knowing it was one hundred percent the wine talking. The wine you’d probably drank a little too much of whilst you were getting ready, playing your music and singing along loudly just hoping it was annoying Abby (It wasn’t, she didn’t even hear.)

Ignoring her would start after the car journey you decided.

And you did, for the most part. Abby gave you your space, sitting a few seats away from your group whilst you had your fun — headache inducing squeals and brain numbing chatter over loud music and strong cocktails not quite interesting the blonde. She was driving, and working — so she couldn’t drink, just sat there all night bored out of her mind. She probably should have been monitoring how many drinks you’d had over the night, because soon you were stumbling off your seat to go and dance— and Abby’s hands were itching to pull your skirt down just a little, the hem climbing up to the swell where your thighs meet your ass. She sits back, just watching. She was here to protect you, not be your personal wardrobe malfunction manager — so that’s what she’d do. Sit back and protect.

God, did you always dance like this when you went out?

She felt her fist twitch on the table at the sight of your hips swirling, but she knew that was just a natural gay reaction. She should probably order you a glass of water, so you could sober up and tone down the sluttyness but she figured she’d let you have your fun for now— you may have been too far gone. Abby wished she was holding a beer or something whilst she stared across at the way you were grinding your ass into your friends crotch, the two of you giggling like idiots all hazy eyed from the liquor.

After a while you amble over to her, everything bouncing and spilling out but you clearly don’t give a fuck. Your guard is caught off guard when you come close, alcohol having decimated any concept of personal space as you lean over to speak to her where she’s sat, bent over with your hands splayed on her black jean clad thighs.

She tries to be subtle in the way she eyes you, her tongue peeping between her lips and eyes widening momentarily at the perfect shot of down your top. “I can’t hear you.” She yells over the music. You come closer and nearly topple onto her completely, Abby’s hands by nature resting on the back of your thighs as you now grip her shoulders. Briefly, she wonders if at a glance anyone thinks the two of you are a couple. She shakes it off ‘cos… you’re still a brat. Hot or not.

“I said, can I go to the bathroom or are you gonna follow me?” You pull back to make sure she’s seeing you attempt to pointedly raise an eyebrow at her, something you would have perfected usually if you were sober.

“Take a friend.” She nods to your most sober looking buddy and you shrug happily, pushing off her and grabbing your toilet partner and rushing off. She was kind of glad you were gonna be out of her sight for a moment, needing to cool off.

She wasn’t sure what happened after that. Abby was getting bored and tired, dropping the ball a little bit — and you must have been sneaking drinks from your friends when she wasn’t looking — because suddenly you were way too drunk, barely able to stand. Enough was enough when she watched you stumble over to the bar, heading to assumably get yourself another drink. Abby followed you, gently taking your arm and turning you around.

“Hey, no more. You’re blacked out.”

Your face screws up into this adorable little pout for a moment before the rage kicks in, brow creasing and fists clenching by your side.

“C’n dooo what I waant. Dompt tell meee what to do.” You thud her in the centre of her chest with your finger, slurring enough to the point where Abby was confident the bartender wouldn’t have served you anyway.

“No. Finish up, you need to go home.” She was stern, and as expected — this garnered the worst possible response, baring your teeth like a dog and digging your heels into the ground like you were about to pounce on her. You exploded into noise.

“Nnno! Fuck you you stupid securererty guard I can’t wait to get rid of youn’d be independent this is such buuullshi—” Your rampage was cut short by Abby sighing, squatting, and throwing you over her shoulder. Her free hand came up without thought, tugging your skirt down to not expose you to the world. You thrashed and yelled for a good ten seconds before giving in completely — by standers and your friends laughing as Abby marched you to the exit. You were asleep by the time she reached the car, and briefly woke up when she’d carried you to bed to demand her to light the fire place. The fear of the dark must have ran incredibly deep, interesting — she noted.

Abby thought that maybe you’d appreciate her cutting your drinks off and halting any further plans to embarrass yourself that night— but she came to learn that if she thought you were bad usually, you with a hangover was ten times worse. If waking up to the sounds of your loud upchuck wasn’t bad enough, you were a whiny, angry bitch relentlessly all day.

“I’m not your servant you know. Stop asking me to do things for you.” Abby walked in with a glass of water and Tylenol upon request, being met with a loud groan instead of a ‘thank you’.

“Do you have to fucking yell everything?” You complain, ironically — louder than her.

She was tired by the end of the day, beginning to wonder if the pay was enough to tolerate your brattiness. Abby had gained a reputation for dealing with difficult clients, perhaps diva-esque or ill-mannered, but often it wasn’t anything a stern talking to couldn’t fix, often intimidated by her height and build enough to shut them up after a few quips. You were effortlessly becoming one of, if not the most difficult and tiresome clients to crack, but she was determined. If Abby was anything, she wasn’t a quitter — which is why when your father called to check in on you, she told him you’d been good as gold, which earned her a glare from you when you’d overheard the whole thing on the way to the bathroom.

You were back to your regular level of shitty behaviour the next day, less whiny and more sarcastic and bitchy which she could tolerate. However, after a month had gone by Abby was finding the irritation harder and harder to control— especially since you had developed an ever so charming habit of putting on your headphones every single time Abby tried to tell you to do something or talk to you in general.

“Like I told you, I’m a bodyguard — not a babysitter. Stop leaving your—” She bounded into the room, stopping when she saw you look her in the eye and pull your headphones over your head, pressing play on your screen to start your music. Abby stares for a few seconds, taking a breath, telling herself to walk away. Be a bodyguard and nothing else. She ignores this, wound up— and moves to stand in front of you, clicking her fingers. Cheekily, you point to your headphones — mouthing a faux-apologetic ‘sorry!’. The blonde scoffs, wondering why she’s entertaining this in the first place and reaches up to yank the headphones off your head, but freezes at your sudden wide eyed yelp.

“Don’t touch me I’ll tell my dad and you’ll get fired!” It’s rambled out, fast and premeditated — like you’d thought of it already and had been waiting to put it to use. Abby glances down at your alight screen, noting the music as paused and wonders if you were ever playing music or was just doing this to bother her. She lowers her hand, because — well, she’s not an asshole — instead turning her palm upwards in gesture to hand them over.

“Headphones. Give them to me.”

“No.”

“Give them to me or I’m not lighting the fire in your room tonight.” She stares you down and you sulk, shoulders dropping and brows furrowing in devastation. Abby would have felt bad if you weren’t such a menace.

You stroppily yank the headphones off your head and hand them over, muttering profanities furiously under your breath as you turn away from her, sprawled on the couch. Your guard nods, disappearing to put them away before leaving you be — heading to the kitchen to make her afternoon smoothie. The sound of her chopping fruit sparked rage in you all over again at how at home she had made herself, and after a minute you were storming in again— bare feet slapping the cold tiles.

“Back for more?” Abby is calm now, content as she focuses on slicing into a banana.

“You can’t threaten me with my fears you know, that’s emotional and psychological abuse. You’re taking advantage of my fears to be in control like — like a coward. Trust me I studied psychology out of a book, I know my stuff.” You stand beside her ranting as she raises her eyebrows with a calm smile, nodding as she listens and finishes up chopping her fruit, beginning to load them into the— your blender.

“Oh? Smart girl then huh?” She teases and you huff, jutting your chin in the air confidently with an ‘mhm’ before hoisting yourself up onto the kitchen island counter, deciding to stick around for a while to pester her.

“Very. You could probably learn a thing or two from me.”

Abby twists her body half around in amusement, a mocking expression of being impressed adorning her attractive face. She closes the lid to the blender, keeping one hand on it as she speaks.

“‘That so? Go ahead, tell me what possibly I could learn from you, smart girl.”

Ignoring how ‘smart girl’ made you feel in your underwear, you only a manage a “Well first of all—” before she’s turned the blender on, the loud whirring masking any sound coming from you despite your attempts to yell over it for a few seconds. She nods teasingly, as if she was listening to what you were saying and you huff, giving up. You were usually a master in being annoying, but Abby was giving you a run for your money.

You hop back off the counter, muttering a ‘Big blonde stupid asshole.’ as you storm out the room and Abby lets go of the blend button, snickering to herself and yelling out a non committal ‘I heard that!’ after you.

The following day she had taken you to buy groceries after you’d complained that you’d wanted to do it yourself — Abby, following you around as you loaded up your cart, every so often remembering your duty to annoy her and hitting her with something along the lines of ‘I want my headphones back.’ which would be met with a disinterested ‘Tough luck.’ on her end. You couldn’t believe that she’d been living in your home for one month and you still hadn’t gotten under her skin. Perhaps that’s why the next day you’d let your guard down.

It was the first sunny day of March, the grassy hills in which the mansion sat on still harbouring that frosty bite to the air from winter — but pink blossoms had began to spring on the bushes and trees and the sky was blue, which instantly lifted your mood just that little bit.

You were curled by the large window that morning, still in your pyjamas and holding a mug beneath your chin, gazing out at the bright grass. When Abby had entered the room, she was surprised to hear you gently comment that “The weathers nice today.” — a rare sentence that wasn’t defying or insulting her. Abby looked over to you, noting your peaceful demeanour and deciding to carefully toe the line.

“Do you wanna… go outside today?” She suggested, something the two of them could possibly do together. She almost grimaced, waiting for you to curse her out like usual but instead you paused quietly for a few seconds before responding.

“I can introduce you to the horses.” With that, you hopped off the window seat and disappeared to get dressed. When you returned, your hair was in tidier condition and you wore a dress made for summer with only a thick knit cardigan over the top. She itched to tell you it was still way too cold to dress like that, but figured she didn’t wanna aggravate you before you’ve even made it out the door. Today was the day Abby would get through to you.

You were quieter than usual, assumably worn out and in higher spirits due to the sunshine. You’d received the horses as a gift on your sixteenth birthday — but due to the cold weather and outright depression you hardly rode them anymore, instead making sure they lived a healthy and luxurious life on your land and fed the best foods by their handler (mainly out of guilt.) Abby could tell you’d regret your outfit choice as the two of you walked along the pathway through the lush greenery outside, pulling your cardigan tighter around your body, head tilted as you watched the birds fly over the pond.

“What are your horses names?” She conversed lightly, stuffing her large hands into the pockets of her black bomber jacket.

“Cinnamon and blondie.” You answer quietly, before speaking up a few moments later. “Don’t judge the lack of creativity I was sixteen when I picked the names out.”

The pair of you reach the barn and she huffs a quiet chuckle out her nose, watching you pick up a brush as you approached the brown and blonde horses. “Hey, I think those names are perfectly fitting.”

She wasn’t sure why she wanted you to like her so badly all of a sudden. She partially thought it was because if you did you’d make her life and her job easier — but… no, it was more personal than that. You’d deprived her of seeing your pretty smile so much that she felt almost awestruck at the sight of your peaceful and joyful expression as you gently combed Cinnamons mane. She caught herself smiling as she watched.

The two of you talked. Like actually talked without hurling insults or rolling eyes. You sat on the hay, watching as she fed Blondie a carrot. Abby’s teeth were always so white and perfect, perfecting an already perfect smile. Perhaps you were in a good mood, because the thought of calling her perfect didn’t quite irritate you as much as it usually would.

“Have you even ridden a horse?” You’re still bashful about making regular conversation as you pluck at the hay from the bale you sit on.

“Nah.” She shucks off her jacket, the air in the barn balmier and muggier than the outside. It’s hard to not let your eyes flicker down to her strong arms, so you don’t deny yourself.

“Not even as a little girl?” You question and she chuckles a little.

“I didn’t have horse money.” There’s a pitch of longing behind her tone and you tilt your head, wondering about her upbringing. She senses your inquisition and glances up at you as she continues to stroke the horse. “I didn’t have much money for pretty much my whole life. It was actually why I got into the bodyguard industry. Good pay.” She shrugs one shoulder like it was nothing.

“Did you get to go to public school? Like in the city?” You lean forward with your elbows on your knees, chin balanced on your palms in intrigue. The way you said it sparked some amusement in her, ‘get to go to public school’. Like to you it was some sort of luxury.

“Yep. Got the bus everyday too.” Her eyebrow twitches up with a smirk, turning to walk towards you with her jacket in her hand. Whilst she expects you to pick up on her playful tone and perhaps roll your eyes, you continue to stare up at her in awe— an air of innocent curiosity around you that made her suddenly fight the urge to run a thumb over your cheek. She stood over you, placing her jacket by your side and you preened a little at how big she looked above you like that. Part of you felt mad at yourself for having developed a crush, knowing it was interfering with your plans — but you were touch starved. Really touch starved, so you allowed yourself a little yearning for your strict but not so strict bodyguard.

You clear your throat before speaking quietly. “You’re so lucky.”

At this, she scoffs, dropping down to sit beside you. Your skin felt a little warmer when her thigh pressed up next to yours.

“I wouldn’t say that. Would have traded lives with you in a heartbeat.”

You turn to her with a frown. “My life was boring. I didn’t get to do sneaky, crazy teenager things. I went to a small private school and had my small group of friends there and… we couldn’t do anything without dumb bodyguards riding my coattail. The only time we got privacy was in the girls bathroom, and even then if we took too long they’d come knocking.” You complain, pushing your shoe into the gravel.

“Oh, I see. So you didn’t get to be a bratty teenager so you’re making up for lost years now.” She spoke it with a smile, but assumes she took it too far as along came your infamous eye roll, shuffling away from her on the seat as the irritation snuck back in.

“I am not a brat.”

“And I’m not your bodyguard.” She challenges gently with a smile, nudging her knee against yours. You look at her with a stubborn pout and her smile doesn’t falter. “You’re not really a brat. I can bet you’re a sweet girl that just wants attention so you’re acting out.” Didn’t your father say she was supposed to be tough? Please. You say nothing. Your heart races in your chest but you’re too stubborn to say a word. Maybe you’d let your guard down too much. Roll your eyes again, that’ll do it.

After a moment you look away, not because you were still mad but more so because you were flustered. Sweet girl rung around your head like church bells.

“I know you wanna get rid of me.” She begins and you tense up a little. Way to ruin a nice morning.

“And?”

“I know why. You think you wanna be independent and get away from your parents. You have this… idea of living on your own in the city. Am I right?”

You’re prideful, facing away from her with your chin up. “You’re not wrong.”

She sighs out a little chuckle, shaking her head as she leans forward with her elbows resting on her thighs, head turned towards your profile. “You don’t want that life. Trust me. I’ve lived it and it’s hard.”

“Whats hard is having no freedom, no social life, being followed constantly because no one trusts you to make sensible adult decisions.” You snap at her, turning to look her in the eye.

“So you talk to your dad, try and see eye to eye. Not just… pack up and move out like you’re running away to the circus.” She reasons, like it’s just that simple. Her eyes dart across your face as she sees the rage build, infuriated by the assumption that your father was at all the type to negotiate.

“Theres no just talking to my father, Abby. This is it. This is my life unless I get out of here. I can’t live this way forever.” You raise your voice a little, frustrated at her lack of understanding. “I don’t know what your parents are like, but I’m sure you wouldn’t get it.”

She smiles in that way that people smile when they’re mad or upset, tilting her head down to look at her hands for a moment as she inhaled, shaking her head with a speechless chuckle when she exhaled. “I never knew my mom, and my dad died when I was sixteen. I don’t have the luxury of arguing with my dad like you do. Sorry.” She sarks and your face drops, which sparks a little guilt in that secretly soft heart of hers — because truthfully there was no way you could have known, and she could tell by your face you were immediately mortified. You stumble for words after a moment.

“Look. I can’t forgive my father for practically imprisoning me. We… we have a complicated relationship and I think we always will. He says he cares and then does nothing but ruin my life. But… he’s still my dad. No one should ever have to go through losing their father, especially not at that age. I’m… I’m sorry Abby. I can’t imagine what that’s like.” You speak quietly and she listens, an unreadable expression on her face as she does so. When you finish, her eyebrows flicker up ever so slightly.

“Huh.” She breathes, quietly.

“What?” You furrow your brows, sympathetic expression lingering.

“So you are capable of basic empathy. I had no idea.” She let’s a smile slip and your face drops into one of deadpan.

“Bye.” You go to stand up but she laughs and grips your arm, her strong but somewhat affectionate hand not allowing you to leave her side. You sigh with an irritated pout, facing away from her again. When her chuckles die down, she speaks again, her hand staying wrapped around the flesh of your arm.

“So what’s your plan then. You inevitably get me fired, you move into the city by yourself and then what. Where are you gonna work? You won’t be able to afford living in an apartment by yourself so who are you gonna live with?” She fires at you, realising she’s still gripping your arm and letting her fingers trail down a little before leaving your skin all together. You hate how it leaves goosebumps in her wake.

“I’ll use my family name to get me a job somewhere. As for roommates I’m not too sure, I suppose I’ll have to start looking online.” You smirk, glancing at her out the corner of your eye. “Perhaps I’ll just find a girlfriend first who will let me move in with her.”

The mention of a girlfriend makes heat prickle behind Abby’s ears. She had a sixth sense for these kind of things, most of the time able to tell when someone preferred the company of the same sex — mainly down to her own preferences, and she could tell almost immediately with you. However, it was always pleasurable to get the confirmation that she was infact, once again correct.

“Oh yeah? You think anyone else is gonna put up with that princess attitude but me? You better start working on your game.” She jests, and the mention of her tolerating your princess ways caused you to bite down a little on your bottom lip.

“What, you’re saying you’re not charmed by me?” You joke back for once, turning to face her to bat your eyelashes. She chuckles softly, eyes lingering on you for a moment too long before looking away and pushing herself up to stand by pressing her hands into her knees with a quiet grunt.

“Can’t say the insults and tantrums did it for me. Good luck to you though.” She allows a smirk to flit back onto her pouty lips before she thrusts a hand out, allowing you to take it so she could help you up, once again proving to you both that she was actually more than happy to tolerate that princess attitude she speaks of so poorly.

By the next day, your head is back in the game. All this talk of moving out set you straight, and whilst bonding with Abby in the barn certainly set you multiple steps back — you were back to your old self in no time, dead set on getting her to budge so that you could be free’d from your fathers watchful eye.

You eye your search bar on Google, sprawled on your front on your bed with your laptop open infront of you, having just typed ‘Roommates for sale backspace Roommates in the city friendly and not weird’. As you scrolled through the unhelpful results, your door opened — Abby standing in your doorway.

“Jesus do you ever fucking knock?” You curse, glaring up at where she stands in the doorway wearing her usual tight black tshirt and thick belted cargos and boots.

“Good to see you’re back to your usual self.” She sarks with a dramatic eye roll as she leans on her hip, refocusing (which took an extra second because you’re just wearing a little skirt and top today and lying on your front is making her think things.) “I’ve gotta go get my car serviced so I’m dropping it off at the garage thirty minutes away. You think you can survive an hour without me here?”

You’re not looking at her, continuing to scroll as you wave her off with just a distracted mumble causing her to shake her head and tsk followed by a chuckle as she pushes off her feet, disappearing down the hallway. “I won’t be too long. Stay out of trouble, smart girl.” She calls to you, before you eventually heard the sound of the front door shutting and then her car rumbling around the fountain infront of the entrance and out of the large iron gates. Finally, some peace and quiet.

However, after around thirty-five minutes, you had to admit you’d grown bored. You were home alone, and the room-mate search was coming to just about nothing so you had given up all together for the time being. You flop onto your back on the bed, huffing. Where you’d usually get up with the boredom and go to bother Abby until she argues back — you couldn’t. So, you figured you’d turn to the next best thing, listening to music whilst you do a light work out.

You didn’t like working out when Abby was home, because — as if she were a moth to a flame, she couldn’t help herself from interjecting and gym-rat-splaining everything you’re doing wrong and how to improve. The last time she walked in on you doing pilates, you nearly chucked a weight at her head because she started dishing out unwarranted advice. You knew she did it just to bother you, wearing that shit eating grin on her face when she’d lift a bicep and flex it, stating that it was ‘living proof that you should listen to me.’

You thought also that maybe a workout would help burn off some of the… frustration you woke up with. Perhaps it was the tension ridden barn conversation the two of you shared yesterday, a reminder of your starvation for touch, maybe you just had a load of tempting dreams that you weren’t remembering — but you woke up with your cunt aching and hungry to be filled. You figured this was the real reason behind your bad mood returning with such a vigour, and you couldn’t get yourself off, not wanting to give Abby the satisfaction of walking in (without knocking, no doubt) on you with your legs splayed out and fingers deep inside your wanting hole, probably accidentally moaning her name— or whatever. You couldn’t say the thought of doing so didn’t make things worse though.

When you rolled off the bed and onto your feet, you took a moment to collect yourself at the frustration of remembering that Abby still had your God-damn headphones somewhere, having stashed it away due to you using it as a prop to taunt her. You cursed her out, and then cursed yourself out for getting your beloved headphones confiscated before sighing. If Abby wanted to invade your privacy by not knocking, and taking away your personal items — you could invade her privacy by going into her room and searching for them. Perhaps you could even return them before she was back.

It seemed like a sound plan, so you padded down the hallway until you were met with the door to the guest bedroom where she had been residing. You push the door open, for some reason your stomach twisting in excitement at the small thrill of being sneaky— something you rarely got to experience. The room was clean and tidy, and smelt like her. You push further into the room, looking around and spotting a few of the black shiny duffel bags she’d brought along with her — the rest of her things assumably packed away into the closets. You kneel, unzipping the first.

Your hand sticks inside, rustling about only to be met with metal plated weights and an exercise mat. You huff, zipping it back up and trying the next one. You spot them instantly inside, but tsk when you struggle to pull them out — the headband portion of the listening device tangled with something else. You pull them both out, pulling them apart as you do so and gasp when you realise what you’re holding. A strap on. A harness with a dildo attached.

You drop it, nearly falling onto your back like a spider had just leapt out at you— your eyes widening. Placing your headphones aside slowly, you lift it again — observing it. Why on Earth did she have that with her? Your heart jumped slightly in jealousy, wondering if she was planning on bringing someone over and using it on them. Was she fucking someone, just a few doors down from you? In a moment of sick depravity and curiosity, you slowly bring the shaft beneath your nose— inhaling to smell if there were any… remnants of usage, or at best cleaning products to signify it had been used and cleaned. Your face feels hot in shame as you do so, and it just smells like new plastic. It looked new too. You pull it back, looking at it. It hadn’t been used at all.

“God, Abby.” You whisper as you turn it side to side, harness tickling your leg as you grip the girth of it. It was black and shiny like everything else she owned, roughly 7 inches with veins and thick— just as you expected from the broad bodyguard. There were balls attached too, and you run your fingertips over them gently, lightly pressing down to feel it’s texture. As you do so, translucent white liquid gathers at the tip of the dildo, a small trail of it running down the side of the shaft obscenely. You gasp lightly again as your cunt clenches hard without warning. A breeding strap, now you had only ever seen those in porn videos from your phone screen late at night with a hand down your pyjama shorts.

You’d been fucked with a strap before, of course. You’d had been allowed romantic relationships in the past, and your parents of all things were surprisingly cool with the gay thing. Of course, your father had to background check them first and practically set up play dates with their family (Undoubtably another wealthy family) However, the times you’d experienced with them were all short lived, fumbly and overall incompatible. It was clear that you and your past two partners were there purely to experience some sort of relief from their sexual frustration — which resulted in just rolling around the bed whilst your parents dined together downstairs, them gliding their smaller strap in your tight pussy as you clumsily rut against eachother. The experiences were somewhat fun and naive, but you never got to cum or experience real pleasure and satisfaction.

Oh but Abby, you could tell she had to have experience. She had been out there in the world, seasoned and a few years older than you — and when you look like that, with that kind of body, there was no way she wasn’t having girls in and out her apartment door like some kind of cock carousel.

You felt your wet folds pulsing with need to be touched, and you bit your lip — wondering how much time you had as it seemed to have majorly escaped you. The idea of fucking yourself with your bodyguards strap without her knowing had you wetter than you cared to admit from just your own daydreams in your bed, and you’d decided fuck it, consider it pay back for putting a dent in your plans.

You were squatted on the ground still, but now your skirt and panties were draped messily on the sleek wooden flooring by your side — excitedly holding the strap by the dildo wearing just a tight little crop top and nothing else like you were Winnie the fucking Pooh. It was humiliating in the way that made you reach down, checking and confirming that your slick had gathered across your lower region— pent up and built up from the past few hours of general frustration.

You had no idea how that beast was meant to fit inside of you, but you’d grown desperate — eagerly pulling it downwards and hovering over it, smearing the pearly liquid from the tip around in your slick as the harness clattered against the floor. You let out a sigh, only to realise you were trembling from the adrenaline of doing something you shouldn’t. Biting back an excited grin, you push in slightly — the stretch making you wince, brows furrowing. You let out a harsh breath, whispering ‘Fuck’ to yourself as you do so, just the tip stretching you beyond what you’ve ever taken before. You balance on the flats of your feet, toes curling against the ground and eyes squeezing shut as you try and push in further, the thickness making you quietly cry out, unable to take it properly.

Tears sprung to your eyes, half at the stretch and half in frustration at the inability to fit it inside of you. “C’mon, please.” You whine quietly to no one, walls spasming around the plastic, which now was slick with your arousal dripping down it. You were beyond turned on, to the point where you were starting to feel a little pathetic. You tried to ease up, reaching down to rub your clit to help you along as you take a deep breath, mind trying to ease itself — visions of Abby touching you instead of your own hand, moaning quietly and frustratedly at the thought of her strapping you.

You try and push it deeper, and it seems like your walls are about to let up — but the door flies open and so do your eyes. Your world comes crumbling down in humiliation, your ears ringing and face burning hot; Abby stands before you, eyes wide and jaw slack with pink cheeks.

Your first thought is to pull the dildo out, and the size of it makes you let out a quiet pained whine as you do so. She’s frozen, and the rage takes over you. It’s the most comfortable emotion in a situation like this.

“I told you to knock!” You yell, grabbing your skirt and throwing the dildo to the ground.

“This— this is my room!” Her voice is high and defensive, still processing what she just saw as everything happened so quickly. You pull your skirt up and grab your panties off the floor and to make the embarrassment worse — you burst into tears before you’ve made it out the door, storming past her and slamming the door to your room. The final blow was realising you’d left the headphones behind.

Abby watches you until you’re out of sight before turning her head slowly back to the strap on laying abandoned on the floor, a single drip of what looks like your arousal beside it. Jesus, she thinks, letting out a long sigh and running her hand over her face as she enters the room fully — letting the door shut behind her. She slowly lowers herself into a squat, thick thighs bulging in her cargos as she inspects the scene. Abby lifts the harness, before grabbing the dildo by the suction end and sucking in a hitched breath at how you’d soaked it only a little way down. Your poor pussy, she thinks as her lower region warms guiltily at the imagery now the shock had worn off. “Was a good attempt.” She mutters to herself, tossing the dildo onto her bed and sighing, standing up and stroking beneath her chin in thought. She worries, wonders what you must have thought about her seeing that she’d brought a strap on into your home. You must’ve thought she was some kind of perv, right? How was she supposed to bring you back from this?

As you lay face down on your bed, crying embarrassed tears for an hour straight— you wonder if it would have been less embarrassing if Abby had followed you into your room rather than leaving you to storm off on your own. She probably didn’t want to see you, or speak to you for the matter of fact. You sit up, wiping your cheeks furiously — if that were the case, you had the right to be mad at her. It was her fault, she took your headphones which spiralled into this whole thing. Was it better to let things fizzle out and be awkward? You couldn’t think of anything worse, so you finally rose to your feet again, cleaning up your appearance with your jaw clenched before storming back down the hallway. You were going to finish this, and make her leave for good.

You didn’t bother to knock, because when did she bother? You pushed the door open so hard it bang loudly against the wall, and Abby turned around from her dresser — going through some envelopes, totally unphased.

“I’m taking my headphones!” You practically holler, an accusatory finger pointed right at her. She places the envelope aside as she leans against the dresser crossing her arms and raising her eyebrows.

“Okay.”

“And my father will be receiving a call! Yes, I will call him and tell him that you’re rude, you push boundaries, and you don’t ever fucking knock on any door!” You raise your voice even louder, counting off your fingers as she stares at you.

“Again, this is my room and I didn’t know you were in here.” She explains slowly like you were stupid, which only enrages you more.

“This is my house!” You shriek, waving your hands and she pushes off the dresser, stepping towards you.

“Is it?” She frowns. “Do you even pay any rent?”

You falter for just a second, but it’s enough for her to see and nearly smile, which only builds your emotion. “This is my families house. On your very first day here you said that you were a guest in my house, so act like one. My. House.” You step closer to meet her in the centre of the room, eyes boring up into hers as she watched you, unimpressed, tongue in her cheek.

She couldn’t lie, you were hot when you were mad. Infuriating, sure. But hot. Hot in the way where she wanted to shut you up, make you cum until you weren’t fighting back — just babbling aimlessly, frown fully melted from your face. Fuck you until you learnt a lesson. The thought made her stand up a little straighter.

“Yeah?” She tilts her head daringly, and enraged you step up closer, bodies nearly touching just so you could yell in her face.

“My. Hou—” You go to repeat yourself for emphasis but you’re cut off by the feeling of her hand gripping your cheeks, smushing them. When she speaks, it’s calm and menacing. You stare up at her wide eyed.

“You’re not gonna talk to me like that. You’re embarrassed, sweet girl — and I feel for you, but don’t you ever yell in my face like that. You understand me?” She tilts her head further, eyes on you. You’re humiliated, knees knocking into eachother at her calling you sweet girl whilst berating you and you frown, still panting — all hot faced and furious. She uses your cheeks to make you nod and you groan. “Good. If you wanna talk about what happened, let’s talk. But before you come up here and start accusing me of shit, remember that you came in here searching, and you found that,” she turns your face so that you were looking at the strap on laying on the bed. She stays facing you, eyes browsing the side of your face now. Your eyes widen a little at the sight, the memory of using it replaying in your head. “And you decided to use it without asking me.” She steps back a little, eyeing you (not even bothering to hide the hunger anymore). “Okay. Say your piece.” She gestures with her hand and you collect yourself, pulling in a shaky breath.

You admit, the confidence from your tone had vanished. “I was just trying to look for my headphones. I wanted to work out.” You explain and she nods, encouraging you to go on. “You… you brought that into this house, why?” You point at the toy on the bed, the embarrassment starting to slip through again in your pathetic tone of voice.

“Its not your business what I bring with me in my own bag.” Her velvety voice was quick to answer and your brow creased, running out of reasons to shift the blame onto her.

“Well… you can’t bring things like that here it’s — it’s inappropriate.” You internally curse yourself out for stuttering.

“You didn’t seem to have any complaints an hour ago when you were trying to stuff it inside yourself.” She shrugs like she just couldn’t help it from leaving her mouth and in your embarrassment you turn to leave again, walking towards the door. She follows and reaches over your head and shuts it in front of you before you can, grabbing your arm and turning you around so that your back was pressed to it now as she looms over you. “What? Am I wrong?”

“Abby.” You go to complain, but it comes out as a weak whisper.

“Is that why you did it? Maybe you were trying to get caught so you’d have a reason to get all mad and go batshit crazy on me, huh? Still going ahead with that bullshit plan of yours to send me packing?” Abby theorises and you lower your gaze, head tilted towards the ground as you thought. It wasn’t that, you weren’t brave enough. You were genuinely just being disgusting and horny and got yourself caught — which to you was all the more shameful. She knocks your chin up with her knuckle, making you look up at her again. “Or maybe you wanted to get caught so you could be punished. Is that what you wanted? ‘That why you been such a fucking brat?”

“Not a brat.” You huff, though you couldn’t deny it any further than that.

“You know what a brat is? Girls like you,” She poked a finger into your chest. “Who wanna be put in their place so they act out. I’m starting to think that’s just what you need.”

You try and push off the door but she’s blocking you to do so, bodies too close. “Do you really think I’d come in here and yell at you just because I wanna get spanked or whatever?” You bite back, proud of the comeback until she roughly spins you around by the hips so your cheek was pressed to the wooden door, back a little arched. She takes a fist of your skirt and yanks it up, holding it to your lower back making you gasp — fully exposing your bare rear. She chuckles and you wanna die.

“I dunno, didn’t even bother putting on a new pair of panties before coming up in here. Seems to me like you knew what you were doing. Lost the bass in your voice too, smart girl. Where’d all that anger go?” Her hand is gentle when it cups your ass, feeling the meat of it in her hand. You could not believe this was happening. You were mortified. Soaked, but mortified.

You try to fight back with your words, but it’s coming out in little huffs and embarrassed pants at the feeling of her grabbing your ass. “I’m— m’gonna tell — gonna tell on—”

“You’re gonna tell on me?” She snickered. “Are you gonna tell the full story? What you were doing on the floor when I walked in?” She purs in your ear and you can hear her smiling. She’s sick.

You say nothing, because if you’re being honest you’re giving up on your resolve— the feeling of her hands on you just melting your anger away like ice. “No I didn’t think so.”

She gives your ass a light slap, just enough to jiggle it and make you whimper at the suddenness before turning you back around, eyes glancing between yours seriously. “You wanna know what I think?”

You sigh and nod, not trusting your voice at this point.

She gently takes you by the arm and walks you over to the foot of the bed, picking up the strap and holding it. “I think you need to clean my strap for me.”

The way she says it makes you feel hot and bothered, and you go to reach for it to shamefully disappear and wash it in the sink but she holds it out of your reach, raising her eyebrows playfully as she stares you down for a moment. “Not like that.”

She brings the strap down, stepping into the leg holes of the harness before pulling it up and adjusting it to fit her by the hoops at the hip. You watch, trembling — the sight of her standing there with a huge cock something you had only dreamt of, making you squeeze your thighs together. You hated yourself for how weak willed you’d become.

“You can clean it up that smart mouth of yours.” She smiles simply before placing both hands on your shoulders and pushing you down slowly to the ground. She sits too on the edge of the bed, spreading her thighs wide to accommodate to you between them. She wanted you to suck her off? Now that was just degrading. You pursed your lips, trying and failing to ignore the rush of slick seeping from you.

“Abby. Come on.” You whisper and she looks at you for a moment, making you shrink where you were kneeled before leaning forward, gently grasping your chin again, her face millimetres from yours.

“It’s the least you can do.” She threatens before leaning back on her hands, nodding towards her cock. She nearly folds and leans forward to kiss you when she sees the big, sweet, doe eyes you give her — so far removed from your usual glare. If she knew that all she had to do was dom the good girl out of you, her previous month would have been a lot easier.

You gingerly grip the shaft with your hand, bringing your face towards it. God, it smells like you still— to think that only an hour ago you were on the ground trying to shove it inside yourself. Your brows furrow as you kitten lick the top, before suckling on the top with a low moan in your throat gaining confidence. “Good girl.” She praises as you push down a little, sucking harder to the point where you can taste the breeding liquid. You’re not quite sure if it’s meant to be consumed but you don’t care, you don’t care about anything at this point.

You wanna push down further, but you’re struck with a thought and pull off her with a pop— glaring up at her with some of your leftover brattiness.

“What’s that face for?” She hums. You struggle to find your words.

“You… We’re…” You huff, sulkily and she watches the glimmer of longing pass over your face. “You’re making me suck you off and you haven’t even kissed me.” You finally get it out and she smirks, but not totally in a mean way — more so adoringly. Smushing your cheeks again with her hand, she pulls your face in, meeting you in the middle as her cock brushes against your chest as her lips meet yours. It’s a hard, wet, sloppy kiss with your cheeks smushed but it’ll do, and when she pulls off you with a loud smack she roughly rubs her thumb beneath your pouty bottom lip to remove the residual saliva. “Now get back to work.”

She holds back a giggle at the sight of your own pleased smile as you go back down, licking up the sides and cleaning off the plastic — groaning at the residual taste of you clinging to it. This was cruel, wicked even — and you were enjoying it.

“Thats it. Knew I’d be able to find better use for that mouth. Must be tired from running it so much.” Her voice is gentle despite the degradation and it fills your brain with a hazy, muddled fog — not sure how to feel anymore. You pull up for air after taking as much as you can, and as soon as your lips wrap around the dick again, Abby can’t help herself from pressing her hand down on the back of your head gently, muttering a “‘Can do better than that, pretty.” as you gag around her. This seemed to be the first straw in what broke the camels back.

It had dawned on you, half way through sucking her off that after this she was likely just to throw you out on your ass, back to your room to take care of yourself. Getting you on your knees infront of her was her way of winning once and for all, and this was only one last humiliation to shut you up completely. You hadn’t realised you were in your head until Abby was pulling her strap out your mouth, tilting your chin up to her as she leant forward once more. “Hey. Where’d you go just now?”

You try and break away, trying to catch her tip in your mouth again, jaw a little agape and tongue peeping out but she grips your chin more firmly, shaking you a little. “Hey. Look at me.”

“S’nothing Abby. Just lemme—”

“Did I hurt you?”

“No.” You swallow thickly, shaking your head.

“Then what?”

You suck in a deep breath. “Are you gonna chuck me out after this? Are you… are you only doing this to embarrass me?” She stares at you in perplexity as she watched your mouth turn down, emotions catching up with you as you squeeze your eyes shut — two fat tears sliding down your tears.

“Hey, no.” She’s still a little confused, but she wipes your tears away with the back of her hand anyway. She sighs, pulling you up by the arm and sitting you on her thigh. “Okay. Maybe this kind of thing isn’t for you. That’s okay.”

You wipe your nose, a little calmer and clearer headed now. “I was enjoying it. I think I just… I feel like no one cares about me. It just caught up with me that’s all. We can get back to it.” You go to stand up off her but she holds you tighter, making you look at her.

“I care about you. I stupidly, really care about you.” She speaks sincerely, and you stare at her analytically before realising that she actually truly means it. Abby cares about you.

She pulls you in gently this time, lips locking against yours. It’s not mean, or sarky, or trying to tease you — it’s a real meaningful kiss and you just melt. All that anger, all that competitiveness just melts off you like ice cream on a hot and hazy day. You wrap your arms around her neck, letting her lick into your mouth and dominate your tongue with her own, pulling it in and sucking on it making you shift on her thigh and whimper. You think about grinding down on her thick, cargo covered thighs and how good that might feel after a month of staring at them — but before you can, she’s easing you to lay on your back on the bed.

“Can show you how much I care about you. Maybe we can start over, how’s that sound?” She whispers into the space below your ear, pressing a wet kiss there and you let out a shaky huff, nodding. “Gonna need your words though. That’s how this works, sweet girl.”

“Please show me.”

“Like that, good job.”

Her hands look large, but they feel even larger — especially when they’re beside eachother, running up beneath your top— fingertips brushing over your hard nipples as she tests the waters, smiling against your skin when your back arches up into her, a sensitive whine quietly passing your lips. She slowly drags up your top, pushing herself down your body to pepper kisses down the centre of your chest, letting out a quiet groan of her own when she grips your tit with her hand, massaging the plush flesh. “M—outh” You choke out in a pleasured haze and she chuckles, eyebrows jumping up in amusement as she adjusts her position.

“Should have known you’d know exactly what you want.” She teases before flattening her tongue over the bud of your nipple, pulling back to blow cold air on it to harden it making you wince sensitively. The smile barely leaves her when she dips down, wrapping her pouty pink lips around the bud and sucking, soothing her tongue over it and digging her teeth in ever so slightly, letting them scrape over your nipple when she pulls away. “Fuck, so pretty.” She grits her teeth, reaching up and grabbing it in her hand again letting it jiggle beneath her palm.

You buck your hips again, which directs her attention to your lower regions — forcing her to depart from your breast to continue her journey down your body. She sits up, both hands encasing your waist, rubbing thumbs into your lower ribs gently. “Anyone ever eat your pussy?”

Your breath hitches in your throat at the bold question and your eyes flutter open, not quite remembering when you closed them. “No.”

She grins, like that was just the answer she was after and climbs back down— kissing your stomach and then flipping your skirt up so she could kiss your pubic mound. You shiver, a little insecure but filled with desire more than anything as her hands slide up between your legs. “Open these up for me.” She whispers, and her hot breath wafts over your needing cunt when she reveals it, pulling back to look at it.

You feel your chest and face get hot as she stares— dark eyed and hungry straight at your most private area. “So fucking pretty.” She whispers, thumbs sliding either side of your fat lips and pulling them apart, her brows furrowing. “You always get this wet? Jesus.”

You don’t answer, because you don’t quite have the guts to tell her that you don’t remember the last time someone had aroused you this much, to the point where it’s taken over your body and brain entirely.

She leans in, and you expect her tongue to dart out first — but she spits, directly on your clit making you jolt with a whimper, then chasing it up with the flat of her tongue as her thick arms wrap around your thighs, jaw practically unhinging as she starts eating you like her life depends on it.

You moan, loudly and with less shame as time passes now, grinding your hips up into her face — which she matches by pinning them back down to the bed, only pulling away to briefly grab a cushion from the bed and slot it beneath your hips to elevate you slightly — so fast and expertly you barely realise she’s done it before she’s back to mouthing at your crotch.

“Feels so good!” You whine and she chuckles against you, the vibration of which sends shockwaves through to your stomach. “Need you to fuck me.” You mutter, more to yourself but she acknowledges it anyway, the hands that were massaging your hips sliding between your thighs.

“If you want to take my cock I’m gonna need to prep you. You saw yourself, s’never gonna fit with how tight you are right now.”

With this new information, you feel her finger tips sliding through your soaked folds gently as she suckles on your clit relentlessly. You whine, trying your best not to clamp down when she slides in her finger, and then another. You were in heaven, panting up to the ceiling as she fingerfucks you, l your hand sliding down to encase itself in her golden hair — glowing from the sunset streaming in through the window.

She moans as she tastes you, brows furrowed and eyes clamped shut like she could feel every movement of her tongue herself. “Gonna give you one more okay? Need to stretch you— still so fucking tight.” She speaks against you and all you can do is nod, in fact at that point you’d probably let her do anything she wanted to you. It was such a relief to drop the act, to just relax and let her take care of you.

A third finger prods at your entrance and you wince as she slowly slides it in, looking up at you to watch your expression — brows pinching and eye twitching at the feeling, walls wrapping tightly round her thick fingers. “There you go, pretty girl. Took that like a champ.” She kisses your hip bone before getting back to work, slowly and experimentally fucking her three fingers in and out, curling them up to grind against your upper gummy inner wall.

“Feel like I’m gonna cum, Abby it’s — it’s so much.” You shake, toes curled so hard they’d gone white and she hums kindly against you, pulling off your clit again with a loud spitty pop.

“I know baby, I know. Let it out.” She whispers, rushed and syrupy like she was too on the precipice of a moan. She moves her tongue in quick successions around your clit as you start to buck and ride against her fingers, a clammy sound matching this — your wetness creating music against her knuckles as you fuck against them. “Cum, smart girl, cum.”

You do, and you’re so full it’s like there’s nowhere for the cum to go — and therefore you feel like you might explode, suddenly letting out loud cries and whines as you shake and jerk on the bed, only to be held down by Abby’s strong arms. She moans too, because you’re dripping down her wrists and her chin — seeming to have a never ending quantity of cum as she laps it up. You taste exactly how she thought you would.

You can’t even tell she’s stopped because your legs are still violently shaking for a minute, coming down from your orgasm felt like it would never end— but you were grounded by the feeling of Abby’s lips on your cheek, sliding her hands under your back to hold you. “I know, it’s okay. Good job.” She cooes into your hair, silencing your nonsensical babbles. She doesn’t push you to move onto the next thing, just stroking your skin and pressing her lips to your skin until you were calm.

Abby feels tugging down below, and looks down between your bodies to see your hand wrapped around her shaft, tugging towards you as your legs fall open again limply. She winces like she can feel it, and she swears she can when you lazily run your thumb over the tip that had drizzled some of the pearlescent liquid out from all the movement. She watches you play with the spillage between your fingers, before bringing it to your puffy cunt, spreading it through your folds and whimpering at the sensitivity.

“Shit, babe.” She sighs out, the room feeling suddenly much warmer. “You wanna continue?”

“Mhm. Was prepping to take you, remember?” You brush the loose strand from her braid hanging over her cheek out of her face. The gesture is intimate, like two lovers who have been together for a while. You almost feel embarrassed again but she turns her cheek and kisses your palm.

She nestles the pads of her fingers into your folds again, sliding around in your arousal and you sigh out at the sensitivity, the urge to be filled returning from its brief satisfaction. “Well you’re definitely wet enough.” She smirks in disbelief, and you can’t believe that there was a time where you would have rolled your eyes at such comments — now only doe eyed and lip bitten as your legs fall open wider. Her fingers are replaced by her strap, sliding up and down — collecting your wetness along it, a whimper leaving you when the tip nudges against your swollen clit.

“Think you’re ready for me?” She asks and before she’s even finished the sentence you moan out a quick and desperate ‘yes!’ making her laugh, keeling into herself with her chin to her chest for a moment. She looks cute and you want to kiss her again. In due time, you think. “How long has it been since you last got fucked?” She continues sliding her strap up and down. Abby secretly thinks she’s stalling, because she wants this closeness to last.

You shake your head breathlessly, trying to clear the fog in order to answer her simple question. Why was she asking questions at a time like this?

“Like — nine months maybe a year?” You answer and she nods, understandingly.

“It’s no wonder you’re so tight. This is gonna be quite a squeeze, yeah?” She looks you deep in your eyes, like she did every time she wanted you to really listen.

“I know, s’okay.” You breathe, and at this she takes your hand in her larger one.

“S’gonna be big. You can squeeze my hand if you want. Deep breath in.” She instructs and you slowly inhale as she pushes in, your hand squeezing hers as you clench around her thick length.

The “Fuck” you let out in a breathy groan is obscene and borderline pornagraphic, which makes Abby fight the urge to bottom out completely and shove her cock inside you fully all at once, but she’s patient, her breath hitching as she reassures you.

“I know, I know.” is all she can say as she pushes in further.

“W—wait.” You tense up a little and she freezes with no hesitation, letting you adjust to the stretch as she drops kisses onto your jaw until you were ready. This happened a couple of times, and she’d oblige to your wishes each time you halt her until she was fully seated inside you.

You felt like the air had been punched out of you, Abby was so deep. “Hows that?” She whispers.

“So big.” You mewl.

“Taking it so well. See, we got it all in the end.” She praises, quiet and gleeful watching you blissed out beneath her.

“Y’not getting paid enough for this, he’s not paying you enough to deal with me.” You babble into her shoulder in regards to her deal with your father, legs trembling around her hips.

“You kidding me? He’s paying me to fuck his daughters pretty pussy, think I’ll be okay.” She scoffs into your neck, sucking wet kisses into the skin there, hips still not moving as you adjust.

“S’not why he’s paying you.” Your nose turns up and she chuckles before lifting her face to hover right above yours, lips occasionally brushing. She begins to move her hips and you both gasp at the feeling.

“How about… instead of arguing with me… you shut up and take my fucking strap.” She whispers temptingly and you go limp again, apart from your hips which twitch against her movements letting her grind her strap in and out of you slowly.

“Oh my god!” You cry, letting go of her hand to wrap your arms around her neck, pulling her into you to connect your lips. She lets you whimper against her and suck on her bottom lip whilst she concentrates on finding that angle. She knows she’s struck gold when your legs jerk around her before your heels dig into her ass.

“Faster please Abby, please faster!” You sound deranged, at the point she wanted you all along — cockdrunk and desperate without a care in the world. She clenches around nothing at the thought of just keeping you this dumb all the time.

She speeds up on command, hips smacking against you now as she pulls away to watch the way your tits bounce beneath her. “Oh baby, you’re fucking taking it.” She pants, impressed at how quickly you’ve allowed her to really go in on you. She reaches between you to rub your clit and you squeal, tears springing to your eyes. “Yeah? Want me to rub it? S’it that good, pretty girl?”

“Yes! Please! I— I can’t Abby it’s too — Abby please I wanna— need to cum!” Your hands are curled into her t-shirt adorably which only makes her go harder, practically punching the sounds out of you like a squeaky toy each time she thrusts. You feel yourself teetering over the edge once more, abused pussy relentlessly sucking her in with obscene wet noises attached. Before you can release, your hand reaches down to cup the balls of the strap. “Want it inside, please Ab— please want it inside me—” You ramble and she catches on, and as you tense up, letting out a pained whine as you cum, she slides her hand on top of yours, pressing down to empty the cum lube inside you. The feeling of the warm liquid spurting against your cervix makes you shake, sobbing uncontrollably suddenly as you ride it out.

“There you go, good fucking girl. You like that don’t you? Fuck, letting me breed you like this the first time we fuck? You dirty fucking girl. Such a pretty fucking girl.” She’s babbling too, unravelled by the beauty that was you cumming the way you did. She knew she was good at fucking, but to make someone cry like that was driving her insane.

You’re floating when she pulls out, the two of you breathless and fucked out. Effortlessly, she pushes her hands under your arms and drags you further up the bed until you’re laying against the pillow and she drops down besides you, pulling you into her chest, t-shirt slightly damp with sweat. You listen to her heart thundering in her chest, and it lulls you into a sleepy and relaxed zone, pulling your thigh up over her hip with her help, her thumb stroking the crease where your ass and thigh connects.

“Did so good. The sounds you make are so pretty.” She whispers like she was trying to lull you to sleep. You shift, breath stammering in your throat and nearly choking you when your used pussy glides over her shaft— the veins and ridges catching against your clit making your hips jerk on her, unable to stop yourself from slowly and feverishly rubbing down on her as you breathe heavily in the quiet room.

“Want more, sweet girl?” She cooes, hand running down the back of your head to cup it lovingly.

“Too sore.” It comes out muffled into her t-shirt, aimlessly rocking your hips.

“That’s alright. Just keep… keep doing this.” She relaxes into the bed, kissing your forehead and letting you please yourself, grinding into the mixture of your juices and the fake cum soaking the both of your lower halves. It was messy and bordering on gross, but made your needy clit throb all the more. You were truly insatiable. Had it really been that long?

She sighed in pleasure at the feeling of you grinding against her, the position making her harness press deliciously into her own clit, pleasing you both. Perhaps she too could get off from this.

The sun had gone in, and the room had grown dark. But this time, you weren’t afraid — infact the growing inkiness of the sky was the last thing on your mind— safe, warm and dumb in Abby’s strong arms.

Maybe you’d let her stick around.

[emometalhead]

Tag 3 people who have made your year better and send this to the last 10 blogs in your notifications (anonymously or not) ❣

I can't simply tag 3. So many people made this year wonderful for me, and I want to acknowledge them all!!

In alphabetical order by url:

@a-queen-of-the-clouds - Jori, you are always a joy to have on my dash. I have so much fun reading your tags. Never change!! I love you, and am grateful to know you.

@arnold-layne - My beloved!! We've been friends for a while, but I feel like our communication has really ramped up this year. I'm so glad that we've been talking more! You're a really cool person, and I love our interactions. Ilysm.

@awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands - Alessia!! Sweetie, you are one of the kindest people I've ever met. I love your fashion, your passion for your interests, and how much you care about your friends. I am so so grateful for our continuing friendship. ILY!!

@born-to-lose - Mel, my beloved, my wife!! You know I'm obsessed with you. You are the language queen, a talented writer, and stunningly hot. Iconic all around. I love you and our friendship. Here's to another year! Kisses!!

@day-trippin-dreamer - TINA!!!!!! Our daily conversations have helped me stay sane through this crazy year. Even though timezones are not our friends, I love that we manage to stay updated on each other's days. We will meet up in Belgium to watch movies together one day. My passport should arrive in early February lol. One step closer!! I love you so much, and I adore our friendship. Thank you for everything!!

@deadhousep1ants Bee!! Hiiii! I am so glad to have met you this year! We talk more on Instagram than here nowadays, but I needed to include you on this post!! We have a lot in common, and I just generally think you're really cool. I'm really happy to be your mutual. I'm always wishing you the best! Ily.

@doctorqueensanatomy - Sheamus, I don't think I need to tell you how much I appreciate, because I say it all the time. However, I'm still going to tell you again. I love you!!!! Our friendship is precious to me, and I am so sad I can't hug you. I am still sitting, waiting, and constantly checking my email for when you'll receive any of the things I sent you for Christmas lol. I'm grateful for the opportunity to physically show how much I care, and I look forward to all of our future conversations (in text and call). Btw you're also like a super talented writer, and that needs to be acknowledged.

@duffmckagans - Kelsey, you're like a piece of my soul put into another person. We are so similar, and it's crazy how well we get along. I love our daily catch ups, and that I can text you about literally anything. There is no one else I'd rather sob to about Axl. I can always count on you. You're an insanely talented writer, so smart in general, and always have the correct opinion. You know I love you.

@emodennis - Phoenix, my dude, I am so happy we've become friends this year!! Last year, I wouldn't have imaged myself on Sunnyblr (as I literally didn't know it existed). I am so glad to be there, because otherwise we wouldn't have met. I'm excited to see how our friendship progresses in the coming year!!

@glamourizedcocaine - Alexi, you haven't been active lately. I'm not sure you'll see this, but it feels wrong to exclude you from this post. I love being able to scream nonsense about Gerard with you. You're a good friend, and I miss you on my dash. Ily.

@hobbitinneverland - İrem!! You're such a positive force on my dash and in my notes. I love you so much!! You always brighten my day with your presence. You're so amazing. Sending you the best vibes!!

@i-dont-like-rice - My dear Andi, idk if you'll see this, but I will take any opportunity to say how wonderful you are. I love your chaos. I love that I can talk to you about anything, and you'll understand. I feel like you see parts of me that no one else can, and I hope you know that your friendship is irreplaceable. I love and miss you! I look forward to our meeting in Belgium one day!!

@idontwanttospoiltheparty - Hi Fiona!! Your blog is so fun. It's the best hub for Beatles and Swiftie discussions. I love being able to see takes without absurd drama. I may not always agree with your opinions, but I have a lot of respect for you. You're really smart, talented, and all around fun. I'm grateful for our friendship. Ilysm.

@inquisitiveheretic - Lee!!!!!!! I think I'm incapable of thinking your name without screaming it mentally. You are my favorite mysterious mutual. I am always so excited to talk to you, and I feel so happy when I see you in my notifications. I think you're my biggest example of an opposites attract friend due to our wide divergence of interests, and that's really cool to me. You are someone that I take great comfort in, and I wish I could hug you. I think of you whenever I listen to Metallica, and that happens a lot. Love you.

@losers-yurio - Rylie, you aren't very active here, but I hope you know I still love you with my entire heart despite having less communication this year. I'm on better terms with my parents in regards to calling people, and I'm hoping to have more free time soon. We really really need to reconnect. I love and miss you so much. You will always be my first real Internet friend, and one of my favorite people ever.

@modernloverss - Syd!! First of all, I hope you know you can ramble to me about Ghost anytime, and I'll be very excited about it. It's been fun watching you fall down the fandom rabbit hole. All of our interactions have been so overwhelmingly positive. Your presence always warms my heart, and that is just about the highest praise I can bestow. Ilysm.

@nocturnal-light - Lynne, I am forever in awe of you. You're a creative artist, a stunning ice skater, and an impressive bassist. You can do it all omg. I'm proud of you for all you've accomplished, and I'm rooting for you from the virtual sidelines. Also, in case no one has told you lately, you're doing great with school. You will make it through!! I love being mutuals and friends. Ily!!

@no-fxn-club - Frankie, my dude, the iconic southern who confuses me constantly, you are one of my best friends. I will never be able to tell you I love you enough times. I am SO SAD I can't hug you!!!! I know you give amazing hugs. You have a big heart, and I'm grateful to be your friend to receive some of that love. You have an A+ music taste, a killer sense of fashion, and I always have so much fun talking to you about the most random stuff. I LOVE YOU!!

@nuttmeg13 - Megan, you were my first mutual! Though not directly, you did help me figure out how this place works lol. I'm grateful for you, because I really love Tumblr now that I've found community. You have The Best opinions. I have absorbed so much random Doctor Who information over the years, and I love seeing your fandoms that I know nothing about! You're one of my favorite Swifites!! Ilysm!

@ob-la-di-ob-la-di - Ameera, you are always a source of positivity. You are a talented artist, and I hold it so near and dear to my heart that you drew me!! I think about that all the time, because it was so sweet!! Every interaction we have brings me so much joy. You're gorgeous inside and out. I love you!

@only-a-heartbeat-away - Harlow!! I appreciate you so much. I can always count on you for participation in ask and tag games. It's been lovely getting to know you through games. You have an excellent music taste, and you're such a fun person. Ily! Thanks for being my friend!

@ramblinguitar - Hi Alexa!! First and foremost, thank you for all of the music recommendations this year. I think I've added every song to my main playlist. You have great taste, and a good understanding of what I enjoy. That's really cool. I'm thankful to have such an awesome, grunge mutual and friend. You're talented, and I wish I wasn't broke so I could actually buy bracelets from you. I love your work!! Ily, my dear friend!!

@smokeandmirrorz - Jeordie!! You're so damn cool. First of all, I'm so excited to receive your card this year. Your art is stunning!! I love your style, and it means so much that you were willing to make something for me again. You're so nice!! You have impeccable style, great taste in pop culture, and I love our conversations. One of these days I really hope I'm free when you do a movie stream or just a voice chat. Ily and our friendship!

@therockywhorerpictureshow - Ella, you are an incredible baker! I love seeing posts of what you have created. Your posts always make me hungry lol. A+! Also, your dogs are so cute. Such a pleasure to see!! I love seeing you in my notifications and on my dash. I'm so glad we're mutuals. Ily!

@tomkeifer - Ren, you're one of my favorite people and I hope you never forget that. You're easily one of the coolest people I know. You're incredibly smart, and I know you are going to accomplish great things in life. I am so excited to see that happen. You're a talented musician, have amazing hair/makeup skills/fashion, and are overall a good person. I'm forever impressed with you. Please drink some water. I love you!!

@th0mas-jerome-newton - Zoran, my Polish mutual, my whole heart. Ilysm!! You are such a fun presence on my dash. We don't talk very much, but you bring me such comfort. I'm grateful for you!!

@xx-key-xx - What can I say? You're an icon. I love your commitment to the 2000s. You are my favorite 2000s girlie, and I love your posts so much. Not to sound like I'm signing a yearbook, but stay cool ILY!!

[lenteur]

i missed you moooooooooost <33 thank u my darling 💗 i'm feeling good this week, hoping that feeling lasts :)) you're the sweetest :))

*squishes u* <33

i appreciate your puns always ;) they will always be met with me smiling <33 even if they're bad, i still love them 🌸 i am smh at ur pun but i will look past it bc ily 👀

i love my boo seungkwan 🌱🧡 i love that man a whole looooooot 🥰 nah i can't deal with scoups, he is ADORABLE </3 must......resist......and....not....squish.....his......cheeks..... aaaaaaaa 👀 OH MY GOD I LOVED THAT ONE <33

yes! it's about superman. i can't remember much of smallville but i used to love it :( the first four seasons are great but season five and season six, you're just like wtaf is happening (i still love it tho. it's chaotic) 🌸

yes! i'm halfway through now <33 OKAY SO the murderer is NOT who i think it is!! he is actually super innocent and sweet and i wanna protect him forever <33

my cats were on catnip this evening which was very, very funny <33 toffee was moody and was like um gimmie catnip, mother >.< and luna was practically throwing herself about 😭 we put the catnip inside an old sock and they both were crazy 🤪

lemme just love u forever <33 actually nvm, gonna love u anyway okay? 🥰🥰🥰 i'm so happy their faces make you smile <333 you deserve to be happy 💙🧡💖

hello my love 💖 i've missed you sososososososososo much you have no idea 😭 you're truly the highlight of my days whenever I see you interact with me 💗

you always say i'm the sweetest when i think you're a great competitor 💕 if there ever was a world's kindest sweetest person championship, you'd rank super high 🏆

see when i said you're the sweetest? you're even willing to smile at my worst puns 💞 if that is not a sign of love & friendship, i don't know what is 💓

the bias wreckage is very present in you 💔 i mean same :( scoups was the first svt member to catch my attention back when they debuted. he kind of holds a special place in my heart 💕 and, to be clear, I AM NOT SIMPING FOR THIS DUDE OK?! (why the sudden aggression? i have no idea. maybe i am a bit in denial... who knows?)

now that you said this, that's why i ended up not liking the show :/ the last seasons were too chaotic and nonsense for me lol

wait what?! first of all, i'm glad the m*rd*rer (keeping it pg just in case hehe) was not who you thought. but? super sweet and innocent? wanna protect him forever? i must be honest that shocked me a little when i read that. but then, i went back to our previous message and it helped me understand your feelings a little better.

ah yes catnip and cats are a match made in heather 🤪 (see what i did there? hehe) honestly i miss when i used to have a cat at home :( a lot of craziness but a lot of fun too 💖 so please let me know about your cats' lives 💘

awww :((( you're too sweet :((( you too deserve to be happy ok? you have no idea how bright you shine (like a diamond) (yes my music knowledge is so eclectic and i only listen to underrated artists 🙄)

anyway, as usual, i hope you're having the best day you can have and that you're taking care of both yourself and your cats 🐱🐱 (so sad there aren't customisable cat emojis because i would've created the most realistic toffee & luna emojis jsyk)

[mokuhchi-manuscripts]

Spring troupe (separately) finding notes in their pockets from their s/o reminding them to take care of themselves and that they love them?

A/N: I wrote this as if it was an event that happened regularly! Hope that’s what you meant :) Also I loved writing this so much! This request was so cute, thank you so much anon ;^; Also Masumi has abandonment issues bc I said so and it makes a lot of sense with his character. And apologies Citron’s is the shortest, I’m still working on figuring out his character tbh

CW(s): slight mention of abandonment issues for Masumi

❀ Sakuya Sakuma

He’d be beyond himself when he found the first one

He blushes really hard whenever he reads them you’ve almost pavloved him into blushing every time he feels a piece of paper in his pocket

After a couple times of finding a note, he’ll definitely look forward to days where he finds them

He doesn’t do anything like run to his hoodie and check all his clothes everyday but when he happens to find one it always brings a smile to his face

He’d definitely text you to say thank you and respond with his own small message

He especially needs the reminders to take care of himself during spring though, as theatre takes up so much of his mind and he can get easily preoccupied

Sakuya sat outside in the courtyard, reviewing his script for the nth time. A cool breeze passed through and tousled his hair. He placed a hand in his hoodie pocket, not wanting to get cold; as soon as he reached in he felt a scrap of paper scrape against his hand. Sakuya immediately began to blush and quickly pulled out the paper.

"Reminder to eat today! Hope you have a great day and good luck with rehearsals <3"

He couldn’t help but let a giant grin spread across his face. Then the realization that he hadn’t eaten yet hit him. Omi had just been out not too long ago, or so he thought, to remind him dinner was ready. Sakuya had responded that he’d be there momentarily, but got distracted by the new script. 

He quickly got up and began to make his way to the kitchen and dining room. There at the table he saw a handful of the Mankai Company members, including Omi.

“There you are! I was about to go remind you again dinner was ready.”

“Sorry, I got distracted. What did you cook today?”

Omi shook his head. “I didn’t. Izumi did.” Sakuya nodded in acknowledgement, knowing exactly what that meant,

“It’s alright. Now sit down and eat!” Sakuya grabbed a plate and served himself some curry and found a place at an empty seat. He pulled the note out from his pocket again, reading and rereading it again and again just like he did with every note. 

After he ate dinner he made sure to text you a thank you.

❀ Tsuzuru Minagi

The first time he found a note he was shocked; he didn’t really have enough time to process it as he was on his way to one of his part-time jobs but during his shift he continued to fumble as he couldn’t get it off his mind

Tsuzuru reached into his pocket for a pen, fingers crossed he didn’t forget one to his server job. He quickly found the writing utensil, but next to it he could feel a scrap of paper. He figured it must have been a reminder he wrote for himself that he forgot about. He pulled the small piece out of his pocket and froze in his tracks once he read it. It wasn’t a note he had written for himself, instead it was a note you had written for him. 

"Remember that I care about you and don't forget to take care of yourself today!"

He could barely register the words as he read them, but the immediate emotion he felt was absolute love for you. 

He most likely finds any note on his way to a college class or while working one of his part-time jobs

If he finds one while he’s with a member of the Mankai company he probably won’t read it as he prefers to read them when he’s alone since they’re personal and special to him

He tries to keep them but sometimes he just gets disorganized so he may accidentally throw them away; he still has at least half though

He tries his best to follow the notes when they’re reminders (e.g. eating when you remind him to eat) as he doesn’t want to somehow accidentally disappoint you

He definitely needs the reminders when he’s writing scripts as he will not step away from his computer once it comes time for another play; if you leave him a note to eat or drink water there’s a higher chance he’ll at least eat something small or take some sips of water

Since he’s someone who tends to look out for other people, knowing someone is looking after him just makes him incredibly happy 

❀ Masumi Usui

He froze as soon as he opened the first note he received as he could barely think; his thoughts were too full of his love for you and he didn’t want it any other way

He probably immediately texted you as soon as he reads it to tell you he loves you and has continued to text you a thank you or ‘ily’ every time he gets a note and decides to check on you in the same message

He loves checking his jackets after he sees you to see if you’ve left a note; and once Tsuzuru told you he checks you started leaving them after every time you went over

He keeps all the notes in a jar on his desk; just seeing them all collected in one place brings a smile to his face

Whenever he feels lonely, or his abandonment issues act up, he brings the jar up to his bed and reads them one by one

Masumi sat in his desk chair, exasperated. He had messaged you a couple times throughout the day and you hadn’t responded despite looking at his messages and he was growing concerned. His mind was beginning to race and he began to assume and fear the worst. Then the jar on his desk caught his eye. He carefully grabbed it, tucked it under one arm, and climbed up to his bed. There he unscrewed the lid and one by one pulled out and read each and every note he had ever gotten from you. 

“Reminder that I love you!’

“Remember to eat and drink water <3”

“(ღ˘⌣˘)♥ love you!”

“This song made me think of my feelings for you- Stupid for You by Waterparks <3”

“Good luck with rehearsal today! (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)"

Tears began to well in his eyes and he made sure to wipe them away with the back of his hand, lest he ruin one of the precious notes with his tears. Never had he felt so loved before you, and he mentally noted to tell you how much he appreciated you the next time he saw you. 

After having dealt with his parents not being there and growing up with no friends, he values you and your reminders an immense amount

He may try to leave you notes as well, but he’d much rather express his love for you in person

❀ Itaru Chigasaki

The first time he found one of your notes, he was overwhelmed with love for you; he could practically see the ‘+10’ affection points above his head as he read it

Itaru probably finds the notes once he’s at work if you put them in his jacket

His morning is much too hectic to be able to read it while at the dorms, so he tends to read it every time he drains his LP (yes, every time; your notes brighten his day)

Itaru stepped away from his desk. He had been watching the clock as his lunch hour ticked closer and closer, and once the time was reached, he made his way out of the office. Once he got to his car and began to drain his LP, he reached into his pocket to pull out the note you had left in his pocket that morning.

"Don’t forget to refill your stats! Remember to eat something and drink water, and keep in mind that ily <3"

He couldn't help but smile at the note, unlocking his phone to both drain his LP and to message you a quick thank you in response to your nerdy reminder.

If you use gamer lingo or nerdy references in the notes he will be positively enamored

He tends to just put them somewhere in a designated desk drawer, sometimes taping his favorites down to the top of the desk to make sure they don’t get lost and to see them while he games

If he’s streaming and he sees one of the notes on his desk out of the corner of his eye, he always ends up smiling and tends to have a habit of taking a drink of water when he sees one

If you leave a note in his gaming sweatshirt, it may take a bit for him to find it but when he does he’s very grateful -even though he has a smaller chance of actually listening to it-

At times when he’s very preoccupied, he may forget that you leave him notes at all so it’s like a new surprise all over again

❀ Citron

He was incredibly happy when he received his first note from you

After the first note he received, he began leaving notes for you as well

Sometimes the notes can be hard to decipher due to him forgetting and switching up words but it’s the thought that counts 

You had left a note on Citron’s desk the night before, and when you arrived at the dorm the next day he thanked you for it and gave you a tight hug. While you were there he was telling stories of his home country. He spoke of the food, the towns, and his pet Juliano. 

Eventually it began to get dark and you had to bid your boyfriend a farewell. He gave you a kiss on your cheek as you departed, and offered a smile and wave as you exited out the door. 

  Once outside the bitter winds nipped at your skin, so you placed your hands in your pockets in an attempt to keep them warm. But once you did so, you could feel a scrap of paper scratch against your fingertips. You quickly pulled it out, wondering what it could be. You unfolded it and there in familiar handwriting you found the following note:

"Remember that I am loving you always! Have a safe trip home and do not forget to crink water!!"

You could assume he meant ‘drink’ instead of ‘crink’. His struggle with language definitely found its way into the notes he gave you, but if anything it made him that much more endearing. On your way home, you made sure to buy a bottle of water.

His notes may sometimes come off as nonsensical due to his issues with language

If you really need help translating it, just ask another troupe member and they should be able to help

He doesn’t check his pockets for notes since he loves the surprise of finding them

❀ Utsuki Chikage

The first time he found a note in his pocket he felt so happy and appreciated it more than anything, although you wouldn’t have been able to tell if you were there due to his amazing poker face

Chikage has guilt and baggage and the fact that you stay with him amazes him, but he’s so grateful

After reading them he does throw the notes away, not because he doesn’t like them, but because they feel so special to him he doesn’t want anyone else to have the opportunity to read the words you wrote especially for him

Because of this, he does his best to memorize them 

It was originally difficult to know if he was even finding the notes since he’d never let you know or anything of that such

You had been leaving notes in your boyfriend’s pockets for months now. They were simple notes, things such as, ‘Don’t forget to eat today!’ or ‘Remember I care about you and like you no matter your past’. It shouldn't have made you so nervous that you couldn’t tell if Chikage had actually found them, or if he found them annoying, but knots of anxiety were developing in your stomach. So you decided to call him. 

He picked up on the fourth ring, “Chikage Utsuki speaking.”

“Hey, Chikage.”

“Oh, hello. To what may I offer the pleasure of this call?”

“Um,” you paused, collecting your thoughts, “so, I’ve been leaving these little..notes? In your pockets? And I was just curious if you had gotten them or if you found them annoying because if you do I can stop-” a laugh on the other side cut you off. “What? What’s so funny?”

Chikage continued to chuckle, “No, I’ve found them.” He lowered his voice to a whisper, like he didn’t want anyone else but you to hear, “I really appreciate them. Thank you.”

“Oh! Well I’m glad.” you were almost positive Chikage could hear your smile through the phone. 

“Was that all?”

“Yeah, sorry. I’ll see you later. Bye!”

“Goodbye.” the click of the end call button rang in your ears, but you couldn’t help but continue to smile.

After a while, it’s easier to tell when he has recently read a note as he may come off as somewhat more affectionate but whether he does it on purpose or not you can’t completely tell 

· · ─────── · ☆ · ─────── · ·

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[sonybees]

mutuals appreciation post!

i seriously CANNOT at all process this

literally i do not know how this even happened but i am so inexplicably grateful for every single one of you! i love all of you so so much!

i was maybe thinking about making a sleepover but school has been kicking my ass lately so i just decided on making a little mutuals appreciation post! to all my other mutuals, i love all of you so much and i literally want to smother all of you with hugs and kisses. i am so grateful for all of you. thank you.

this might be a little long so it’s under the cut! there might be a lot of mistakes snsjd

@lunaleonorah leo!!! you are an absolute blessing. i love your kindness and the amount of affection you give me literally makes me wanna break down and scream. in a good way of course sjjs. i love our conversations where we just talk about our days and all that. i wish we could always be friends and you can tell me anything you’d like. i love our friendship because we can talk to each other whenever we’d like and will always bring comfort to each other. i always look forward to having conversations with you everyday. ilysm and you deserve the world <3 all the love, pluto.

@gredmforge rory, my wife! i love talking to you about nonsense, it always makes my day and your fun and carefree personality always makes me smile. no doubt that we will be great friends in real life. the little asks you send in my inbox always make me laugh and i’m very excited for whatever future works you have. you always seemed so nice and sweet ever since i first interacted with you and i am so happy that i asked you where you got your memes because look what that got us to! shsjdjd. no but seriously, i love talking to you about our obsessions and just saying hello to each other. ilysm and i hope you always remember that! :) <3

@crookedhag my lovely eliz, i’m too lazy to make another one of those fancy scrolls that i did earlier but that doesn’t stop me from showin gmy appreciation for you. you are such a sweet and amazing person. you are also so talented and i am always so happy to see your name pop up on my notifications. you were always the first one to send me an ask for ask games and you always check in on me and i love you for that. i wish the very best in everything you do. you have great taste in music and i’m starting to think that you’re in every single fandom i don’t know jsjsj. but i love talking to you and ily! mwah! ◡̈

@oldschoolkiddo hero! the first time you ever interacted with me, i already knew that i would love having you around. you are such a fun person and all the tag games that you make and tag me in are always so fun! you are an independent person and i love that so much. you speak your mind and that is so powerful. you are so very sweet and your personality is so fun. i hope that you have many great days in the future and you can always talk to me whenever you need to. let me know if you want a distraction from anything or if you just want to rant, i will be here. ily!

@krasivayadarling my lovely ant! i am so very glad that i built up the courage to say hi to you when you made that post saying you wanted to be friends with new people. you are one of the best people i’ve ever met and you are so sweet, kind, talented, funny, and supportive. i am also so grateful for your support in my fics. you were my first ever supporter and i was really nervous for someone to read my works but you were so nice about it and i love that. i wish you all the best. ily, ant! sincerely, soap.

@whatthefuckimbisexual the loveliest persephone, you are such a bad bitch. JSJS NO BUT SRSLY ILYSM. you are such a fun person and i love how we can relate to each other a lot. i mean, staying up til 3 am and fuck aral pan yk? ejekdj. i really wish you the best in everything and i hope that we can interact more! you are truly one of the most fun and energetic people i’ve ever met and you are so very sweet and funny. thank you for being a great person! all the love <3

@falconxbarnes maddie! you add such a sweet and great person and when you reblog and like my posts, my heart fills with joy! your blog brings me so much comfort and i love our short little conversations. you remind me of going out at 5 am when the sun is almost out. the joy is always evident when that happens just like how i feel when i talk to you! i wish to eat pancit canton with you one day! i really wish you the best in everything and you deserve so many good things. mwah!

@amourtentiaa liane! you are literally so talented and it amazes me every time i read your works. you are so fun and chill and seeing your name always makes me happy! your blog page is filled with so much comfort in my opinion and our first conversation ever was so fun and you are so polite. you also really remind me of the night. i can’t explain why but like i said, you are chill and brings me a lot of comfort! i really love the way you interact with others as you are so kind. i hope you are doing well and always will feel well. ily, yannie!

@puntuations oh my gosh, ysa! you followed me first and i didn’t exactly understand why because you seemed too cool and mature for me djdj. but i am so glad you did and i am so grateful that you’re my friend. thank you for tagging me in dps related things! i really love that and it brings me so much joy. you were always so kind to me no matter what and you are so respectful. i appreciate you and your blog always makes me smile. thank you for being an amazing friend. ilysm, ysa. mwah!

@tofeeltaller joy! you bring me so much joy! sjdndjdn sorry, i had to. you are so so sweet and kind. i was always so scared to interact with dps blogs because they seemed intimidating but so nice at the same time (idk why i’m sorrydhjd), i thought y’all were too cool for me and i didn’t know how to approach you guys but after i got the courage to talk to you, i felt a lot more comfortable. you are so sweet and kind and you deserve so much more blessings. you truly are an amazing person and i hope that your days will get better and better. giving you so many warm hugs and kisses, mwah!

@lolremuslupin dkndkx omg you are so sweet! i don’t interact with you much but we do talk sometimes. i am also very glad that i decided to pm you to try and make new friends and you were so kind about it. you are such an amazing person and i love staying up at 3 am talking to you about random crap. i wish that your life will go well and that you are always safe! warm hugs!

@punkrific soaf, my twin! i really love talking to you and your energy is always so great. you are an amazing and fun person and having a twin like you always makes me feel like the luckiest ever. i am so so grateful to have you as a friend and your dashing personality always gets me. ilysm and i wish you the best! love, the ugly sofia <3

@freddieweasleyswife sweets! i’ve never met someone as sweet and kind as you are. you’re an amazing person and you deserve so much and you are so talented. i wish to write like you one day. my day is always better when I see your name in my notifications being friends with someone as amazing as you are is so great and i wosh to interact with you more. i miss talking to you and you’re always so kind and ready to comfort anyone. ilysm and you deserve the world. sincerely, sweetpea. <3

@sam-winchester-is-my-bitch rae! i love talking to you and seeing your pets! you are so kind, sweet and understanding and you really know how to make me smile. whenever i talk to you, it’s always so wholesome and nice and you give off so much good vibes. you really are like the color yellow to me, sunny, nice, but can be serious at times. but is always ready to cheer someone up. i wish you the best in everything and i hope that we can talk more! all the love <3

@daltonacademia kendi! i know you’re on a short hiatus at the moment but i just had to add you in here. i really hope that you are doing well and i hope you know that your writing is literally one of the best that i’ve ever read. you are so sweet and kind and you always have that little fun and sunny personality and i love talking to you so much. you are so respectful and you deserve so much. i’m sending you all the love and comfort. you are amazing and i hope you know that. stay safe, kendi! i really love that nicknamejsjs

@thatswhywilliamagedlikesourmilk dear! i am so glad that you followed my page and i am so so grateful that i’m friends with you. you are one of the best people ever and you are so so sweet. the most adorable person ever! talking to you feels like hugging a teddy bear and i am aware that that doesn’t make much sense but it just feels so comfy and brings me joy. i really hope that you’re doing well because you also deserve everything! sending you so many hugs <3 mwah!

@fredweasleyismyloverman alex, my dear! you are so kind and nice! i’m really glad i followed you. just a little fun fact, i actually found you through ant or @krasivayadarling . i was reading through some people who she gave ships to and i saw yours and i was like “oh my gosh, this person and i are literally the same.” and i went crazy because it looked almost exactly the same as my description hdjdjd. i’m actually not that sure if it went like that but that’s how i recalled it so i just always remember thatsbns. i literally relate to you so much and your shitposts give me life. you are so wise and amazing and i would love to talk to you more! ily, dear! mwah <3

@daisyyy2516 daze, dear! i am so happy that sab led ke to your page! literally, you are so damn talented and i just cannot i am always so amazed every time you show your works. you are so kind and sweet and such an icon. you bring me so much joy and everything you’ve ever said to me has always been something sweet and funny. ilysm and you deserve the world. i’d like if you dm’ed me once you’ve gotten your work displayed at some huge art exhibition. you are so amazing and i want you to know that. everything will be better. i appreciate you and i am so glad that you are in this world. i love you sm, daze. frd weasley loves you too. all the love and joy, soaf.

@sirlorelai lorie!! you are so nice and kind and sweet. i’m very glad that you weren’t angry at me spam reblogging your postsjsjd. i love our conversations and i wish we could talk more! you are such a kind and funny person and everything you’ve ever done has put a smile to my face. you are so fun and energetic and i love that. i hope that life is going well over there and that everything will be better if it isn’t at the moment. you deserve so much and ilysm, mwah!

@quadrupledeckertaco lorelei, dear! i miss talking to you! i really love our conversations and your soft but fierce personality is so great and it brings me so much joy. your writing is literally so amazing and like i said, i aspire to write like you one day. i miss you so much and i really hope that everything’s well. i wish you the best and sending you so much love, sofia. <3

and to all my other mutuals! thank you! i love all of you so much and interacting with all of you brings me so much joy. thank you for everything. have a great day everyone!

[kelieah]

an unexpected gift (tom holland x reader)

summary: tom gets an unforgettable and a long-awaited birthday gift

word count: 2.9k

 warnings: angst, fluff, suggestive content, a TRIGGERING TOPIC struggling fertility! please don’t read if it’s a sensitive topic for you ❤️ (also i am here if anyone needs to talk, you’re not alone love)

edited: so this fic took me forever, and here i am posting two fking days after his bday 😭 with everything going on i hope this takes your mind off it for a milisecond, ily all. stay strong 🥺

a/n: i knowwww i know it’s his bday but i couldn’t help but add some angst jdsabfk anyways HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY THOMAS STANLEY HOLLAND we all love you so much hehe

masterlist

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[05/29/20]

Your mind swirls with emotion as you wait patiently for what felt like the millionth time.

Please. Please. Please.

You thought to yourself as you pace around your bathroom. You inhale deeply and look down at the fifth pregnancy test you took in your trembling hands. Your eyes begin to blur with tears when you notice the two bright pink lines slowly appear in the little box. You let out a shaky sob, “O-Oh my god. Oh my god, thank you. Holy shit. T-Thank you,” you whimper happily.

You place the test aside, feeling as if a weight was lifted off your shoulders. You run your hands through your hair and back up against the bathroom door, sliding down to the floor. You feel your tears stream down your cheeks while a smile makes its way onto your face.

You and Tom have been married for about two years and been trying to have a baby for the past year. It’s been a rocky road of trial and error, medicines and doctors visits. Now, you both finally just received the most precious and priceless gift anyone could ask for.

You stand up taking a deep breath and close your eyes. This is what you and Tom have been waiting for, what you both have been hoping for. You finally got pregnant, after countless attempts. You didn’t expect it to happen so soon but you couldn’t be more grateful.

You breathe out, your lips quivering as you pick up the test once again. You think for a moment and add up the weeks in your mind. You’re about a week pregnant. You assumed the symptoms you were having were just PMS, but look where you are now. Pregnant. Unbelievable. It truly is a dream came true.

Tom wasn’t home yet because he’s been gone for press the whole day. You wanted to burst into some random interview Tom is in right now and tell him the news, but you’d rather plan something out for him. Especially since his birthday is coming up.

You walk over to your bedroom and pick up your phone, immediately calling your parents to tell them the news. Emotions were all over the place once you told them, their reactions similar to you finding out for the first time.

“I know. I know Dad,” you laugh weakly, wiping away some tears. “I love you, okay bye. I’m going to call Nikki.”

You feel yourself grow more excited, “Hi Mom,” you say as she picks up.

“Hello, sweetheart! I love it when you call. I hope Tom isn’t being a hassle,” she teases.

You giggle at her joke and pause for a moment before springing the big news on her. “Nikki, I’m p-pregnant,��� you spill out, still in disbelief even though you already told your own parents.

“Bloody hell! Seriously!?” she cries out in joy, “Dom!” she yells, walking off with her phone.

You giggle, sniffing and swipe away tears that fell once again, “Yes, darling? What’s with the shouting,” Dominic comes into view.

“She’s pregnant, oh my she’s- they’re pregnant honey,” she hugs his arm. 

His eyes widen as he gasps, “Congratulations Y/n! We know how long you and Tom have been trying, this is wonderful!”

“T-Thank you, I know,” you chuckle softly, “S-Speaking of Tom, I’ve been planning a lot for his birthday. So I was thinking you all should fly over from London, I may have already bought some tickets.”

“Y/n,” Nikki covers her mouth, “You didn’t have to.”

“Oh but I wanted to, I emailed you the tickets. Your flights leave tomorrow, I hope that gives you enough time.”

Before you found out you were pregnant, you already had a couple of plans for Tom’s birthday. To fly over his family, including Tess of course, and set up a surprise birthday party. 

You debated if you should’ve invited any of his celebrity friends, but with the big news you know he would want to keep things more secluded. Which you completely understood. Memories of you and Tom getting together for the first time yet being outed to the media within weeks flooded your mind. Great times.

Tom hasn’t seen his family in a couple of months because he’s been recording and doing press here in America. Though you both live in LA, you two made sure to visit London frequently. Not only because you loved spending time there, but seeing his family was always so heartwarming and uplifting. His family is so kind and fun to be around just like him, you always felt right at home with them.

But to kill time, you thought why not mess with him a bit. You’re now waiting for Tom to come home from press, dinner time nearing. You sprawl out, stomach flat on the bed you share with Tom, scrolling through your phone mindlessly.

You let out a quiet gasp as you feel a weight on top of your body, “Hi my love,” he chuckles, lying on you.

“Hello, Tommy,” you hum, “Get off though, you’re squishing us,” you pout, shrugging him off.

He tilts his head and quickly gets off of you, sitting next to you, “Us?”

You cup your breasts, winking at him, “These girlies,” you joke.

“Oh woman,” he tackles you gently back on the bed.

“Excuse me?” you gasp dramatically, looking up at him as he pinned you down to the bed.

“You heard me, my woman. My beautiful, beautiful woman,” he teases. You give him a look and he leaves kisses along your jaw, “You know I’m only joking, my wife.”

“That’s better, Daddy,” you grin at the name, feeling like a giddy teenager for knowing something he doesn’t.

“Love, we haven’t even had dinner yet. You know what that name does to me,” he grumbles.

“Don’t be a big baby, I’m just teasing,” you peck his nose.

“Better be pretty girl, I missed you,” he sits up and lifts you onto his lap, “How are you doing?”

“Much better now that you’re here,” you rest your arms lazily on his shoulders, “I’ve already prepped dinner, do you want to help make it?”

“That would be lovely,” he presses his lips against yours which you kindly accept and kiss back.

[05/31/20]

“Thank you again, sweetie, you truly didn’t have to. We could’ve paid,” Nikki says pulling away from hugging you.

“Nonsense, it’s the least I could do for everything you all have done for us. Tom’s actually staying overnight at a hotel with the cast, so it’s perfect for us to get things ready,” you beam, smiling at the rest of Hollands.

After reuniting with his beautiful family and helping them settle into a nearby hotel, you all began to set up for his birthday.

“Hi Tessa,” you squeal, playing with her as she jumps around on you, “I know, you miss daddy? I miss him too,” you ruffle her head.

“Should this go over here?” Harry asks, lifting up a decoration to the wall.

“Yep, a little bit more to the side. Perfect,” you give him a thumbs up.

“Thanks, Mom,” he teases. 

You roll your eyes, fanning him off, “Oh shush, Uncle,” you retort playfully.

You walk around helping everyone out and make sure things are in place. You walk over to the balcony to see Paddy leaning over the railings, “Hey Pads, everything okay?”

He smiles and looks back at you, “Oh yeah, it’s nothing,” he mutters quietly. You immediately catch him wiping away a tear and walk over, opening your arms up. He quickly hugs you, placing his head on your chest.

“Sweetheart,” you pout, rubbing his head, “What’s wrong?”

“I-I can’t believe I’m going to become an uncle,” he sniffles. 

Your eyes soften and you run your hands through his hair, “An amazing uncle.”

“I’m only 15,” he huffs.

“Almost 16,” you remind him, shrugging. “I’ve seen younger uncles,” you reassure playfully making him chuckle.

“I’m so happy for you two, I know how much you both have been waiting for this,” he pulls away, wiping away more tears. “You know,” he sighs, looking back out at the city.

“Hm?” you lean on the railing with him.

“I know you know this already but, Tom really does love you. I remember how heartbroken he’d be after you both failed to become pregnant over and over again, he used to call us each time. His voice was almost gone, his eyes red and puffy. He felt so bad, he felt like it was his fault at times. Telling us how helpless and disappointed he felt,” he mumbles softly.

You look over at Paddy in bewilderment. Tom never told you that, and you assumed he tells you everything. “I didn’t,” you trail off your heart tightening at the thought of Tom in such a vulnerable state, “I didn’t know that Paddy, thank you for telling me that.”

“I think he might pass out when you tell him, no joke,” he smiles sadly. 

You both look at each other for a moment and begin to giggle, “I’d actually love to see that.”

“Me too,” he snorts. 

Both of your laughter dies down, you ruffle his hair for the last time, “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Y/n?”

“Yep?”

“You two are going to be amazing parents.”

[06/01/2020]

“How was your night?” you smile, leaning against your bedrest looking at your tired husband through the screen.

“It was really fun, they wanted to celebrate for my birthday of course. So we drank a bit, got to know each other more and just messed around, it was a nice way to get close to the cast,” he yawns.

“That’s great, I’m glad you got to. My birthday boy must be exhausted, huh?” 

He chuckles softly, “Sure am, one more recording today, and then I’ll be home before you know it,” he reassures. “All good babe, it’s just me and,” you look around your room, “Oh right, it’s just me,” you sigh dramatically. “Darling,” he whines, hugging a pillow to his chest, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be Tommy, I’m only joking around of course. I love you. I can’t wait for you to come home, so we can have our own little celebration,” you wink.

He giggles and looks back at the camera, “I love you so much. I don’t know what I would do without you, seriously,” he mutters, watching you.

You blush underneath his gaze, “I could say the same.”

“No seriously princess, you’re so understanding and compassionate. Unbelievably amazing, an actual angel. I don’t even think you belong on earth, let alone with an earthling like me,” he bubbles happily.

You snicker quietly, “Okay, Peter Parker,” you tease making him roll his eyes, “Thank you though Tommy, I love you more. You’re such a sap.”

“Only for you. I have to go, see you later?”

“Yup. Forever and?”

“Ever.”

You end the call, tossing your phone aside and hop off the bed. You freshen up a bit and change into more suitable clothes.

You walk around your apartment, smiling softly at all the decorations you and his family had recently put up. 

You call Sam and let him know that Tom’s coming home soon. He tells you they’re all on their way.

You tidy up a bit more and heat up some food. You open the door to the Hollands and smile, “Hello hello, again,” you let them inside.

They greet you once more and place presents in the living room. Dom pulls you aside, “How are you feeling, are you ready to tell him?” he asks.

You smile warmly and nod excitedly, “Definitely. I can’t imagine what his reaction is going to be like.”

“We can’t either,” he laughs, “So where do you want us to hide?”

About half an hour later Tom says he’s on his way home, so you look around doing a final check and smile in content.

You walk out to the balcony and check the corner to see them all bunched up together, “You all okay?” you ask.

“Yep,” Harry gives you a thumbs up, everyone else agrees.

“Are you gonna be quiet Tess?” you scratch underneath her chin as she walks up to you. She looks at you with curious eyes and you accept that as her response, “Good girl,” you kiss her forehead.

You check your phone and look up back up at them, “He says he’s five minutes away,” you chirp. They nod and you close the sliding door, walking back inside.

You feel your heart begin to race as you play out every reaction Tom could have. He could actually pass out, or maybe think it’s a joke? You have no idea, but nonetheless you were excited.

You jump at the sound of the door unlocking and opening, “Darling?” he calls out. You rush over to him before he comes inside, and tackle him into a hug.

He stumbles out into the hallway and holds you close, “Happy Birthday again,” you grin, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Thank you again,” he kisses your cheek and squeezes your waist, “I have a feeling you’re hiding something my love,” he hums, trying to push past you.

“Well, it’s nothing big,” you move out of the way, letting him inside. You swear you see his eyes twinkle when he looks around the apartment.

“Nothing big? Babe,” he pouts and places down his baggage, “I love this so much, you’re adorable,” he opens his arms.

You bite your lip and close the door behind him, hugging him tightly, “Why don’t you freshen up a bit and meet on the balcony? You smell like hotel,” you joke, kissing at his earlobe.

“Alright alright, meet you out there,” he grabs his bags and walks over to your bedroom. You grin grabbing your camera and hide in the kitchen.

You wait about ten minutes and text Harry some quick updates. You hear Tom walk over to the balcony, sliding the door open. You instantly pop up and stealthily follow him while recording.

“Love?” he steps outside, looking around.

“Surprise!” his family shouts out.

He lets out a scream and holds out his fists in defensive. You all burst out in laughter and Tom immediately looks over at you, “Jesus, you guys!” he cries out.

He trips on the rug but makes his way over to them, hugging them tightly, “Happy Birthday sweetheart,” Nikki chirps, squeezing his arm.

“Thanks, Mum,” he smiles warmly, “Tessa! You’re here too?” he bends down, hugging her as she jumps into his arms, “How?” he pretends to sob happily.

“Your wonderful wife of course,” Sam motions over to you, while you smile proudly.

“Thank you all, seriously,” he stands up, hugging them all again.

“When you all are done reuniting, I think lunch is ready,” you hum, winking at Paddy who helped you prepare the meals beforehand.

Shortly after you all ate together and caught up, it was finally present time. You recorded as he opened up his family’s gifts for him.

“Alright alright, it’s my turn,” you pipe up, handing the camera to Paddy. Paddy grins happily and takes a step back to get you and Tom in the shot.

“I thought you bringing them here was my gift from you already?” Tom tilts his head.

“Of course not, there’s always more,” you roll your eyes playfully, calling Tessa over, “You should know me by now, c’mon.”

Tessa walks over with a gift bag in her mouth, sitting in front of Tom, “Tess! What a good girl, look at you,” he gently takes the bag and pets her admiringly. 

He smiles at you and opens up the gift, he pulls out a little folded spider-man onesie. He assumes its for Tessa and laughs, “Don’t we already have one for Tess?”

“Oh yeah, true.”

He raises an eyebrow and opens it up more, examining it. His eyes widen and quickly darts over to you, “N-No.”

You feel your eyes gloss and you nod slowly, “Y-Yep.”

“Y-You’re not joking?” he walks over to you, falling to his knees.

You stifle a cry and cups his face, “D-Definitely not, look in the bag.”

He reaches over and pulls out another wrapped gift. He opens it up to see your pregnancy test in a bag, “Fucking hell,” he places it aside and hugs you close as you kneel down.

You feel him begin to tremble against you and your heart swells, “Tommy,” you sniffle, running your hands through his hair.

“You’re p-pregnant? W-We’re pregnant?” his voice wavers, tears spilling from his eyes.

You nod again, wiping away his tears, “Y-Yes we are,” you utter.

He holds you close and sobs into your neck. You look up at his family for a moment, chuckling in between cries noticing they’re crying with the both of you.

You whisper sweet nothings in his ear and rub his back, “You okay, bubby?” you sniff. 

He nods and pulls away looking up at you, “M-More than okay,” he hiccups, smiling cheekily. “It’s the best bloody gift I could ever ask for,” he cups your cheek, wiping your tears away as well.

“It truly is,” you murmur softly. He stands you up and kneels down, placing his hands on your sides, “Tom?”

“Let me talk to my other b-baby girl or boy o-of course,” he blubbers, pressing a warm kiss against your stomach. 

Everyone laughs including you, “I’m glad you didn’t faint, Paddy was betting you would,” you thread your fingers through his hair.

He glares at Paddy playfully as he places his face onto your stomach, “Of course he would.”

Paddy whines behind the camera making you both chuckle, “Tom, I’ve only been pregnant for a week,” you hum, looking back down at Tom.

“It’s my birthday, let me have my moment,” he replies sassily, hugging your waist closer.

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[starsstruck]

cloudbusting; part four.

a classic coffee shop story. harry is a painter that quickly becomes a regular at his neighbourhood cafe, and it just might have something to do with a certain barista. horoscope readings, mandarin oranges, and star-gazing strolls.

pairing: harry x reader warnings: language, mentions of anxiety words: 13k

series masterlist

art by holly warburton. (i have no vision for the mc of the fic, people in the images of paintings i use are purely because this is how i envision harry’s art to be)

a/n: thank you for being patient with me for this chapter, i hope everything turned out okay ! a big huge thank you to the amazing tina @sunflowers-styles​ for helping me out and being the best beta ily ❤️❤️ as always let me know what you think and please share if you can ! i love to hear everyone's thoughts and comments <3 happy reading !

Sat comfortably on Mae’s couch, you were taking a big bite of the hummus covered carrot that you had just grabbed.

“I have some frozen perogies!”

Mae’s voice floated from the kitchen, both of your laziness to make a proper dinner was about to be satisfied with hummus and snacks before Mae started digging through her fridge.

“That sounds perfect!” You called back, reaching over her coffee table for another carrot. You could hear her shuffling through the kitchen, reappearing by the couch with a box of herb flavoured crackers in hand.

“I’ll put them on later,” she hummed, seating herself next to you while turning down the volume of the Fiona Apple that was playing through the speaker. “Don’t feel like cooking just yet.”

“How was the weekend away?”

Mae had just come back from a two-night stay with her partner’s parents, at their place out in Rochester. “It was good – honestly it was pretty nice to completely get away from everything, even if it was for a bit, and even if it was with Robin’s parents.”

“That sounds lovely,” you nodded, unable to help yourself as you kept reaching for more crackers. “It’s good you got to relax for a bit.”

“Work has been far too stressful lately,” Mae nodded. “Aren’t you getting some time off soon as well?”

You rolled your eyes, waiting until you finished chewing your carrot until you spoke. “I guess. It’s not really going to be relaxing for me though.”

She shot you a sympathetic smile. “It’ll be okay – if things get too bad tell me, and I’ll come over with some kind of emergency.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” you laughed, not wanting to think about the reason you were going to be taking some time off work.

“Don’t think about that just yet,” Mae told you, a smile lining her lips. “How’s work going otherwise? Oh! Anything new with the painter boy?”

You bit your lips together, watching the bowl of homemade hummus as if it was the most interesting thing you’d ever seen. You knew Mae could read you well, and you knew that as soon as you averted your gaze that she’d be onto something.

“Something did happen?” She repeated the question, voice rising in excitement as you tried to hold back your little smirk.

“He ate me out on the floor of his apartment.”

“I’m sorry, he did what?” Mae sprang up, back straightening out as she turned to fully face you. “Last I heard you weren’t even sure if he was even going to make a move on you.”

“Well…” you trailed off, not knowing what else to say. “He did.”

It had been three days since you last saw Harry. You had your usual two days off, coming back to work just this Saturday morning.

After the little distraction from your painting session, you had pulled your dress back over your knees. And with starry eyes and warm cheeks, you sat up with legs pressed to his and your arms around his neck to pull him in for a sloppy kiss.

He had tugged you closer to him until you were practically sitting on his lap, muttering near nonsense against your mouth. “You’re unreal, you know that?” and “Sound so good saying my name like that, could listen to you for hours.”

Just the mere thought brought butterflies to your stomach; which was something you thought only happened to protagonists in romance novels.

You could still feel his warm breath against your skin and the sweet nothings he had kissed onto your lips.

“Was he good?”

Mae really didn’t need to ask; she could tell by the look on your face. You nodded, confirming her suspicion with a smile bit between your teeth. “Really good.”

“I love that,” she chuckled lightly. “Anything else happen? And wait, when exactly did this happen?”

“Few days ago – I went over to his to do some painting with him. I actually ran into him last weekend when I was out which was when he first kissed me.”

“What? You never told me that.” She mocked a pout, not actually upset with you.

“I haven’t seen you!” You laughed, always favouring to tell her things in person rather than on the phone or through text. 

“I suppose…” she laughed. “Have you seen him since?”

“No,” you shook your head. “I mean it was only three days ago.”

“Do you have plans to see him again?”

Again, you shook your head. “No – I don’t know. I realized I don’t even have his number or anything, I usually just see him at my work.”

“You could always DM him,” Mae nodded, reminding you of the time you both had spent scrolling through his Instagram.

“That’s true,” you bit at your bottom lip. “I don’t know. I don’t even know what he wants or anything.”

You fell quiet for a second, still gnawing at your lip. When you thought about it, you really only ever did see him at your work and other than his art practice and what kind of coffee he liked to drink, you didn’t know that much about him.

“Did anything else happen?”

“No,” you again shook your head. “He said that we didn’t have to do anything more if I didn’t want to – honestly I would’ve returned the favour but things just didn’t really go that way.”

“That’s kind of sweet.”

The wheels in your head were spinning. “Maybe he just wants something physical, I don’t know…”

Mae rolled her eyes. “Don’t jump the gun. By the sound of everything I kind of doubt that, he didn’t even get off.”

“I mean, is that weird? Maybe he does that – like in Sex and the City.”

Mae let out a loud laugh. “Life is not like Sex and the City, stop comparing yourself to that shitty show. Also, what does it have to do with anything?”

“That’s a plot,” you nodded, hating yourself for remembering all the awful plot points from the 90s TV show. “Charlotte dates this guy who’s like, notorious for going down on women and wants nothing else from a relationship.”

Mae raises an eyebrow. “And that’s a bad thing?”

“No,” shaking your head, a small furrow in your brow as you actually couldn’t remember how the episode had ended. “It wasn’t bad – but it wasn’t good. That’s all he did – he wasn’t a good guy or something, I don’t remember. He only was in the one episode.”

Mae laughed.  “Babe you’ve got to stop watching that show.”

“It’s entertaining,” you shrugged, fully knowing Mae also loved to indulge in the guilty pleasure with you.

“What does this have to do with Harry – your Harry?” Mae made the distinction, as if you would have only thought about Harry Goldenblatt, Charlotte’s second husband of the show.

“I don’t remember,” you muttered, bottom lip still between your teeth as you couldn’t for the life of you remember why it was bad that Charlotte dated a guy that only wanted to eat her out.

Snapping yourself out from the mess in your mind, you shook your head. “Anyway, sorry. Things are good, I’m just overthinking.”

Mae was quiet for a second. “Do you like him?”

You paused, already knowing your answer but being slightly afraid of it. “I think I do.”

It was two days later when you saw Harry again. With your usual Monday opening shift, the slow morning had you leaning against the counter flipping through the daily newspaper as you found yourself with not much else to do.

Playing with the paper straw that was in your third coffee of the day, you blindly brought it up to your mouth just as you heard someone walk through the door.

An older man with a red baseball cap shuffled through the propped open door, giving you a two-finger wave as he walked over to the counter.

“Morning,” he chirped, placing a ten-dollar bill on the counter as you went to grab his morning muffin. “Nice day out, isn’t it?”

One pet peeve you had about your job, was the weather talk that every patron seemed to insist on having. They all loved to chat about the bright sun outside while you were stuck working inside. “Beautiful day.”

Grabbing the bill from the counter, your eyes flitted back to the front door as you were counting out the customer’s change. A familiar silhouette of someone else walking through the door had caught your attention, eyes widening a bit when you realized it was Harry who had just come in.

He had his usual canvas bag over his shoulder, light wash blue jeans and a white shirt with some kind of graphic you couldn’t see on it.

Feeling your heart beating just a bit faster in your chest, you turned your attention back to the regular (who’s name you couldn’t remember, Bill or something) with the red cap and handed him his change.

Shooting Harry one more look, forcing the corners of your lips not to open in a wide smile while you moved to prepare a small americano.

As you watched the espresso pour into the mug, you willed your body not to flush at even being in the same room as Harry. You felt like you were thirteen, with a silly crush on a boy you’d only ever spoken to once. Except that this was much more real than a small crush.

You had never really felt this way with anyone before.

“Small americano,” you spoke not too loudly in the near empty café, your voice easily carrying over the sound of Françoise Hardy’s Voilà.

The red capped regular grabbed his coffee, pouring a generous amount of cream in it with a small thank you before he headed to his table near a window, ready for his breakfast with his book.

From the corner of your eye, you saw Harry having placed his things at his usual table and was tapping away on his phone. Cleaning out the portafilter, you wiped off the counter before deciding to head back to your coffee and newspaper.

It was not even a minute later that you felt a presence loom from the other side of the counter.

“Morning,” Harry’s voice was a quiet rasp, clearing his throat as you shot him a glance.

Your stomach fluttered.

“Hi,” you hummed, willing yourself to stop your flush at the memory of the last time you saw him. Hand reaching out for your no longer iced coffee, straw between your lips as you looked up at him again. “What’s your sign?”

Harry’s brow furrowed, a twitch of a smile at his mouth. “What?”

You motioned to the open newspaper in front of you on the counter. “Your sun sign – I’m reading horoscopes.”

“Oh,” he laughed. “I’m an Aquarius. Are you reading all of them?”

You nodded with your own little laugh. “I like to compare them, plus I’m a bit bored. So,” your eyes skimmed over the newsprint. “An Aquarius hm?”

“Is that bad?”

You only hummed, finding it on the page and pausing before reading his daily horoscope to him. “Under today’s amorous skies, sometimes less is more. Resist the urge to come on too strong to a new romantic prospect. A star-gazing stroll through nature could be the perfect way to add a dash or romance to your evening. And who knows? Your nighttime adventure could even bring artistic inspo.”

A few seconds of silence washed over the two of you. Harry had his bottom lip between his teeth, unable to help the nervous twist in his stomach. The horoscope was just a bit too accurate, especially with who was reading it to him.

“That’s – that’s something.” He said after a moment. The bright sun made the little pink blush on his cheeks obvious. He cleared his throat, looking to change the subject. “What’s yours say?”

“Mine isn’t nearly as nice, a bit of a filler horoscope if you ask me.” You sighed, searching for your sign on the page even though you’d just read it not long ago. “Today is all about adventure. Today’s thrill-seeking skies get your engines revving. Expand your horizons, whether you embark on a cross country road trip or rent a cabin in the woods. It’s all about a change in scenery and spiritual balance.”

“Sounds like you need to seek some thrill.” Harry laughed, the words you had read to him about his own horoscope still stuck in his head.

“I guess I do,” you bit back a smile, closing the paper. “Did you only come in for readings today? Or maybe a coffee too?”

“So many reasons I came in today,” he shot you a smile, almost a nervous one.

“Well then,” you hummed, pushing yourself away from the counter to go start preparing a coffee for him. “Let me grab you a drink.”

He followed you, from the other side of the counter, to the espresso machine. After tamping the grounds and waiting for the shot, you placed a hand on your shoulder as you circled your opposite arm, feeling the ever growing knot under your skin. 

“Are you alright?” 

“Yeah,” you smiled lightly. “It’s just my shoulder – I call it barista shoulder. Not everyone gets it, I think it depends on the way you tamp the espresso.” 

You saw the confusion on his face. 

“Tamping – it’s when you use this,” you reached over to grab the heavy tool used to press down grounds. “I honestly don’t know what it’s called - I think it’s just called a tamper? Anyway, you press down the grounds to form this kind of espresso puck.” 

You mimicked the motion, twisting your body. “You need to use a bit of force so I got into the habit of using my entire side to push it down. Some people press just in the wrist or their arm. My old boss had the same issue as me – after years of the repetitive motion it kind of fucks with your whole side; your arm, shoulder, ribs, everything.”

“Your ribs?” 

You quickly stopped the shot that was still pouring, having nearly forgotten about it. 

“Yeah,” you laughed lightly with a sheepish smile. “I went to see a physio for it, I have two ribs that are a bit dislocated.” 

“What?! You have dislocated ribs?!” Harry looked a bit scared. 

“Partially,” you corrected, as if it made a big difference. 

“Does it hurt?” 

“Kind of, yeah,” you nodded. “I try and stretch it out often, I even got acupuncture for it once. It’s more of a dull pain.” 

“Jesus,” he muttered, a small shake to his head. “Dangerous work you do here.” 

You only laughed, scooping out some ice from the machine and placing a few cubs into the glass cup, some espresso splashing onto your hand.

Placing the cup on the counter, you nudged it across in his direction. “For you.” 

“Thank you,” his fingers reached for it, before sliding it a few inches before stopping.

“Oh!” He disappeared for a moment, quickly walking to his table before reappearing in front of you, all in the few seconds the espresso had been pouring for. “Brought these for you.”

He had two mandarin oranges in his hand, holding them out in your direction before placing them on the counter between the two of you.

You were so endeared you wanted to throw them at his head.

“I remembered how you said you usually forget to eat in the morning – actually I don’t even know if you like oranges. You don’t have to – well anyway they’re there for you if you want them.”

“Thank you,” you spoke softly, warming at the small action. You did in fact enjoy oranges; you loved the smell of them as well. “I love mandarin oranges”

“Me too,” Harry grinned, done with his rambling. “Love the colour too – actually I like the colour tangerine even better,” he smirked lightly, apparently not done with his rambling. “But I only had mandarin oranges.”

“Any citrus fruit really is divine,” you giggled, grabbing one in each hand.

Harry saw you disappear behind the espresso machine for a brief second, only the top of your head visible between the mugs, before you turned back towards him while wiping your hands on your jeans.

He held the small glass between his fingers, mouth dropping open to speak but nothing came out when both your attentions turned to see a family waiting for you to take their order.

You only shot him a little smile, grabbing the pen from your back pocket and moved to take their order.

Harry went to go take his seat, pulling out his usual workbook that was slowly but surely filling up with page after page of colourful sketches.

He thought over the words you had read out to him about his horoscope. He never was one to take that in a serious manner, quite frankly not knowing a lot about astrology at all. But he took it as a sign since you specifically were the one reading it out to him.

Finding himself sketching small drawings of stars and the reflection of the sky on the water, unable to help but momentarily flick his eyes up to the front counter every so often, where you would often be found standing.

He watched the way you asked a man about the book he was reading, the way the customer was so excited to share it with you. You had that effect on a lot of patrons, he noticed. You made them feel comfortable and welcomed in the little café.

With his bottom lip between his teeth, he couldn’t help but feel slightly flustered even when you weren’t directly interacting with him.

Continuing with your separate tasks in the café for the next hour or so, as Harry didn’t want to bug you when a small line up never seemed to go away.

Walking up to the front after that line up finally did subside, empty glass in hand that he placed in the dirty dish bin, before he peered around the café as he couldn’t see you.

He finally did find you in the back room, one leg bent and knee resting on the stool. In one hand you had your phone held in front of you, attention drawn towards it. In your other hand you were holding a few orange slices, mindlessly chewing on them.

After watching you for a second longer, he cleared his throat.

“Hey,” he spoke quietly, not wanting to disturb any peace you had settled into.

You blinked while you turned your head, a slice of mandarin orange just placed into your mouth as you put your phone down on the table in front of you.

“Oh, hey sorry,” you placed your foot on the ground, orange on the table as you walked over to the doorframe. He could smell the orange on you as you neared him. “Just taking advantage of the lull.”

“No of course, didn’t mean to bug you –”

“– just wanted to ask,” he paused, leaning his hip against the wall next to him. He was only slightly intruding in on the space that was technically just for the workers, watching as you rested you back against the doorframe behind you with a few mandarin orange slices still in hand. “Are you doing anything Wednesday night?”

It was your turn to pause, eyes leaving his for a second as you chewed on your orange slice. “I close – otherwise I don’t think so, why?”

“There’s an opening show, my friend has a whole series in it. It’s at the same gallery that we work at sometimes, it’s just a tiny show but – well I’d love it if you came with me.”

Your eyes fell to his again. He could see a smile starting to grow on your mouth, corner of your lip between teeth. “What time is it at?”

“Starts at eight, but it goes until eleven. You don’t need to be there right at eight.”

You nodded, and although he felt like you were dragging this out a bit on purpose, he couldn’t help but feel a small pit of nerves grow in the pit of his stomach.

“Okay,” you hummed, voice quiet as your eyes darted over to the front counter to check for customers. “I’m usually done around quarter past seven – I can probably head over for eight-thirty? Give or take, depending on where it is.”

He knew he was smiling so wide that his cheeks were dimpling. “So, you can come?”

“I’d love to,” you returned his smile.

“Amazing,” the butterflies in his stomach flew away. “Do you have a pen? I’ll give you the address.”

He watched you pat your back pocket, not finding the red pen that was usually placed there. Taking a second to check the back room, reappearing with a little scrap of paper and a pen.

He scribbled down the information you need, watching you fold up the little piece of paper and place it in your back pocket along with the pen.

“I have to head over a bit earlier, moral support and all, but I can meet you there?” Harry asked.

“Sounds good,” you hummed, excitement growing at the idea of spending more time with Harry outside of the café.

“I have to head out soon,” he spoke, “but I’ll be seeing you on Wednesday, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you grinned, lips together as he bid you a little goodbye. Just as you were debating about if you should hug him, or say anything else, a group came in waiting to be served. As always, you were interrupted by other patrons. “See you Wednesday!” 

The following two days flew by. That Wednesday evening, you were giddy as you closed, rushing through all your duties.

Closing with Saya took no time at all, and soon you were walking with a fast pace in your step to head back home. You knew you actually had plenty of time to get ready, but you were taking your sweet time and wanted the process to be relaxing rather than stressful.

You didn’t really know what one wore to a gallery opening. It was a small show; that was all Harry had really said. It’d probably be casual, so you didn’t want to overdress, but you also didn’t want to look too out of place.

After washing your face, you were throwing clothes around your room as you searched for what to change into. It was then you realized that Harry had only really seen you in clothes you wore to work. It wasn’t that you dressed poorly at work, in fact you liked to think you had quite a nice,  casual style, but you still felt like dressing up just a bit.

You finally settled on a dark navy dress that had orange seams embroidered up the sides and around the hem. It was the kind of dress that would look good on anyone, that fit and clung to every dip and slope of your body.

Grabbing a nearly sheer black blouse to throw over your shoulders, slipping on your trusty white sneakers, hoping that you were walking on the line between casual and formal.

With a little beaded bag over your shoulder with everything you’d need for the night, you checked the time once more before heading out the door.

It didn’t take you as long as you thought it would to make it out the door, and finally you were double checking the address on your phone before being met with the red sign over the gallery and the glass double doors.

Smiling at the man dressed in a bright red blazer who stamped your hand,  you walked through the open doored entrance. You immediately felt a tad out of place, seeing everyone chatting and talking and drinking and laughing – all together.

You let your eyes skim over the space, taking in the gallery. It was fairly large, considering Harry had described it as “just a tiny show”. The room was big and open, and there seemed to be another room that opened up around a curved wall.

Gaze jumping from person to person, you found yourself feeling just the slightest bit out of place. Tentatively walking through the gallery, deciding to simply make your way around and hope to find Harry along the way.

It was when you were looking at a big dark painting, one that had different strokes of grays and browns across a large canvas, that a familiar voice spoke quietly to your left.

“Happy to see you made it.”

Turning around to see Harry, not realizing how close he had come up behind you. You had to take a little step back, the corner of your lips perking up as you saw his mouth already in a wide smile. He was wearing wide black trousers with a fitted simple black shirt, and orange converse sneakers.

“Sorry I’m late,” you spoke softly as he stood close to you.  “Had a bit of an outfit crisis.”

Not moving his feet, he leaned his body closer to yours until the sleeve of his shirt brushed your arm. His shoulder bumping yours, he slid a hand around your waist so that it rested on the small of your back.

With a light pressure against your dress, he drew you in closer so your side was pressed against his. Feeling a puff of air as he exhaled hit the side of your neck, his head lightly dipped down until his lips neared your ear.

“You look stunning,” he murmured. You shivered under his touch, even in his warm embrace. Eyes darting around you, feeling a bit lost just in the moment the both of you had shared. You felt a quick kiss pressed to your temple, before his face retreated from yours.

You could feel heat spread across your chest along with a little flutter in your stomach that somehow made you even warmer. Momentarily not knowing what to say, you faced him with a smile. “Thank you.”

His hand lingered over the fabric of your dress for a moment longer, before it fell to his side along with a little step away from you. Although with your shoulder still against his, you remained close to him as you both turned back to the painting that you had been observing.

“What do you think about this one?” Harry’s voice was low in your ear.

You opened your mouth, not really knowing how to tell him that you didn’t like it one bit. “It’s very… beige.”

“I agree,” he hummed. A touch of his fingertips on your arm pulled your eyes away from the art, arm jumping just the slightest at the contact. With a loose grip of his fingers around your wrist, he was soon tugging you by the arm across the floor of the gallery. “I’ll show you the good stuff,” he said, keeping his voice low.

He pulled you around the curved corner, into the second part of the gallery. You immediately noticed the lights on this side were a bit dimmer, a warmer glow to them rather than a harsher white light.

“All these in here are done by my friend, Yanis.” He hummed, stopping in front of one of the large paintings on the wall with a light drop of your arm from his hand.

“I helped out with a few, but really it's all him.”

“You helped out with some?” You turned to catch a glance at Harry.

He nodded. “Here and there – nothing that big. He just needed a hand.”

“That’s sweet,” you hummed. You liked that, them helping each other out with their paintings. It was just all so uplifting and supportive.

Just as Harry’s mouth opened to speak, his name was called by a deep and unfamiliar voice to you. You both turned, seeing a shorter man with black curly hair in a bun approach the both of you.

“We were just talking about you,” the man spoke towards Harry, his eyes pausing on you for a moment before he turned back to Harry with a raised eyebrow.

Your name left Harry’s lips – introducing you to his friend.

“I’m Yanis. So, you’re the famous barista Harry’s been telling me about?”

You smiled at his words, eyes flicking to where Harry stood next to you and watched the pink tint the tip of his ears. “Famous?”

Harry laughed, shaking his head. “Only famous one here is you, Yanis. The show looks like a big hit.”

You didn’t miss how quickly he changed the subject, but you turned back to Yanis. “It really does look incredible. I haven’t seen everything yet but I already like what I see.”

You mentally cringed, still feeling like a bit of an idiot whenever you tired to compliment art. You really needed to learn the right things to say.

Just as you were about to try and say something else, two more people joined Harry’s friend on either side of him.

“There you are!” A tall dark-haired woman spoke towards Harry. She was wearing a red shirt that matched her long skirt, with platform shoes and an array of necklaces. “I was worried you had left.”

“Just showing my friend around,” Harry spoke your name smoothly. You didn’t dwell on the way he had called you his friend, but it also didn’t go unnoticed.

“Oh,” she turned her attention to you, while Yanis and the other man seemed to begin a new conversation. “Sorry, I’m Rory.”

“Nice to meet you,” you smiled in her direction. You saw her give your appearance a quick once over, and you especially saw the way her full attention turned back to Harry.

“Everything looks so great,” she spoke towards him.

“It’s all this guy.” Harry let his hand fall onto his friend's shoulder, giving it a little pat. “We were just starting to look around actually, so I’ll catch up with you lot in a bit.”

In a quick move, Harry’s hand was brushing against your lower back, and he was guiding you towards the wall on the opposite end. You felt his fingers bunch lightly in the thin fabric of your blouse, side pressing lightly against yours.

“Sorry –” he muttered, leaning a bit closer to you as the both of you stopped in front of a painting across from where you had been previously standing. There was a sea of red and pink mountains, along with a bright blue skin and big yellow sun. “Knew we could get stuck there for a while – wanted you to see everything first.”

You only hummed in response, a small nod in your head as you kept your eyes forward. Although you did find yourself so drawn to the art on the wall, you couldn’t help but let your mind spin and spin around until the words were falling from your mouth.

“Rory,” you murmured, bottom lip between your teeth, “she has a thing for you, no?”

You could hear Harry pause from next to you, “I – yeah. Well, no – we used to date.”

Only nodding, you kept your eyes forward although you knew Harry was burning holes into the side of your face.

“We still kind of run in the same circle – it ended a long time ago I didn’t –”

He stopped rambling when you turned to face him. “It’s okay,” you forced a little laugh to your voice. “I was just wondering.”

Harry fell quiet again, as you turned back to the paintings on the wall in front of you. “I’m really happy you came with me,” he whispered, lips nearing your ear after a moment. “I’m really happy you’re here.” 

You turned your head around, glancing at him over your shoulder. He didn’t move away from you, hand on your back giving your hip a little squeeze before slipping away from your body. He hit your hand with his, letting his hand fall to his side.

The words he spoke were swimming through your head, having you bite your lips together to fight off a wide smile. Just the way he was looking at you made your knees weak.

“Okay,” you whispered, lips clamped together as you turned back around.

You spent the next few hours walking around, looking at everything, chatting with Harry’s friends. You had gotten along well with Yanis, he had talked at length about the series that was being exhibited and you were honestly in awe of everyone’s talent and creativity.

It was about half past ten and you were just heading back from a quick trip to the restroom, when your name being spoken had you looking around to see who it was.

Rory was slightly towering over you as she neared you, speaking your name again to grab your attention. “Haven’t gotten the chance to chat with you, how are you liking the show?”

Trying your best to hide the shock from your face, you sent her a smile as she stopped next to you. “I really like it – haven’t been to too many shows if I’m being honest, but this is for sure one of the best I’ve been too.”

“Yeah, Yanis really did amazing with everything – Harry too.”

You only nodded, not too sure what to respond in the moment. She kept speaking. “How long have the two of you been seeing each other?”

The question took you a bit by surprise, but at the same time didn’t shock you all that much. “Oh, we’re not –”

You cut yourself off, and she took the moment to speak again. “Sorry I don’t mean to put you on the spot, we’re all just a bit nosy about Harry’s life sometimes.”

Nodding, you couldn’t help the way your eyes narrowed slightly on her. “It’s no problem,” you shot her a small smile.

“Do you make art as well?” She changed the subject.

“No,” you caught Harry’s eye from across the floor of the gallery, “God no, I can barely take a decent picture. What about you?”

“Oh, sorry I just kind of assumed! But yes, I have my own practice. Mostly installation, plus some two-dimensional work as well as some performances here and there.”

Again, you wished you fully understood everything that was being discussed. “That’s so cool,” was all you said.

“Thank you,” she smiled down at you. “What do you do for work?”

“I uhm –” feeling somehow small for the words you were about to speak and a small pit of anxiety at the bottom of your stomach. “I work in a café.”

“She manages a café,” Harry’s voice surprised you slightly as it was suddenly heard from next to you. You turned, seeing him take a few more steps towards you and stopped when he was right next to you, facing Rory.

He was surprised to see the two of you speaking in the first place, a maybe the slightest bit worried when he saw the way you were slightly recoiling away from her.

“Oh nice!” She seemed a bit surprised from Harry’s arrival as well. “Sorry,” she paused, her eyes flitting over to somewhere behind you. “I just saw a friend I wanted to chat with before she leaves – it was nice meeting you!”

And then she was off.

You were quiet for a second, as you felt Harry’s hand brush over your middle. You barely registered the movement, bottom lip between your teeth as you felt a bit lost in your head – just the slightest offput from the conversation you had just had.

“Are you enjoying yourself?"

Harry’s voice pulled your attention away from your thoughts, shooting him a quick glance as his words registered. You nodded, a smile pulling at your lips as you saw his eyes never leave yours. “Yeah, I am.”

“Wanna get out of here?”

You fully turned to face him, standing in front of him. He saw your gaze flick between his, curious look in your eyes. “What did you have in mind?”

“Well,” he paused. Unable to help his eyes from falling down to your mouth, he watched the way the lightly shining lips were curved in a smile. “I just remembered something I read in a horoscope. And I was thinking … fancy a star-gazing stroll?”

It was your turn to pause, fully turning on your feet until you were standing directly in front of him. He could tell that you were trying to keep the smile from growing on your lips, but the gleam in your eyes immediately gave you away.

“I think I read something about that somewhere too,” was all you said, speaking quietly enough for just the two of you. The teasing tone of your voice, paired with the way your eyes seemed to glow more with every passing second sent a warmth straight through Harry’s stomach.

“Is that a yes?”

You let out what could only be called a giggle. “Yeah, it is.” 

Harry didn’t try to hide his giddiness a single bit and sent a short nod towards you before he was again leading you through the gallery. With a quick stop by Yanis to give him a hug and congratulate him, and a wave on your part before he was pulling you out of the gallery.

He was a few steps in front of you, holding the glass door open as you stepped out next to him. This time, he didn’t try and hide the way his eyes fell to eye your outfit, eyelids dropping slightly with a smirk on his lips.

“Christ,” he muttered, joining you by your side. He watched the way you obviously noticed his stare, giving him a small shove with your shoulder. “You really do look stunning.”

“You already said that,” you hummed. 

“Needed to be said again,” he couldn’t help but brush his fingertips over the raised orange embroidery that went up your side. “Also, I don’t know if you noticed sunshine, but we match.”

Sunshine.

You glanced down his outfit from the corner of your eye. The dark hues of both outfits along with a splash of orange looked like you guys had almost planned it. “I did notice, actually.”

“I think that’s quite sexy of us.”

You laughed, following Harry along the sidewalk.

The air outside had cooled down a bit, still warm enough that you were perfectly content in what you were wearing but not so hot that your skin felt sticky.

Harry led the way through the emptying streets, walking so close that it seemed every other step his hand hit yours. He really felt like he had been flirting with the idea of grabbing your hand for what, maybe a week now? He just wanted to grab you, hold you close.

Hell, he had been a lot closer to you than that before.

Walking through a darkened alleyway to take a quick short cut, you shuffled even closer to him. You kept your eyes focused on your surroundings out of habit, even if you were trusting where Harry was bringing you.

It was then that when his hand hit yours, it didn’t move away like it usually did and instead his pinky finger caught your own and soon he was lacing every last one of his fingertips with yours until your palms kissed.

Harry kept his gaze forward, but from the corner of his eye he saw you shoot your newly intertwined hands a quick look. While revelling in the way that your palm felt in his, and in the way that  every finger laced with his seemed to cause a tiny jolt to go  straight  through his body, he nearly missed the way you pulled yourself even closer into him.

By the time the water was invading your sight, after about fifteen minutes or so of walking in peaceful silence, Harry noticed the way you were walking so close to him your head was nearly resting on his shoulder.

He basked in the way you seemed to draw into him as much as he did you, and the way that you urged to be close to him and feel yourself against him just as much. The thought itself sent a new wave of butterflies straight through his stomach, clouding his mind as his pace slowed near the water. 

Clearing his throat, he turned to catch a glance at you. “I remember you telling me how you like to walk along the river, but you didn’t get to do it that often.”

Smiling softly at the memory of the conversation the two of you shared after running into each other at the grocery store; you thought of that as the first time you really felt captivated by Harry.

“Is this kind of what you meant?” He asked.

You glanced around, seeing a wooden boardwalk start not too far off. “Not quite.”

Turning around and tugging him by the hand, following the expanse of the water until your shoes were walking over wooden boards that hovered above the river.

Your pace slowed even more, your hand fell from his grip as you glanced around and took in the sights around you. It was a relatively calm night out, no harsh winds upsetting the murky waters. The lights ended by the street, only a soft hue for the two of you as the boats docked out on the water were barely in sight.

There didn’t seem to be any other people out near you – then realizing that you had no idea what time it was, something that wasn’t often the case and something that you enjoyed a great deal.

The moon was high and bright in the sky, with the few stars that could be seen dusting the sky. It was for sure a star-gazing stroll, just as Harry promised.

“Looks like a painting,” you spoke from next to him, gaze out over the moving surface of the water.

Nearing the railing, the two of you took slow steps along the wooden boards. Harry laughed softly from next to you, the sound carrying in the empty space.

“Have you always been into painting?” You asked, eyes trained on the wood in front of you.

Harry hummed next to you. “I think so, yeah. I guess you could say I was drawn to the arts since I was young, I remember my mum bought me a little painting kit when I was like seven or eight.”

You nodded as he continued to speak. “Started a bit more seriously through school, like getting into techniques and stuff. But I never thought I would ever try and make a career out of it or anything.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well…” Harry paused, hand pushing through his hair. “I actually studied marketing for a bit, thought I would go into business or something like that.”

You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped past your lips, surprised by the news. “I’m sorry but I can’t picture you as a business student.”

“Yeah,” his cheeks dimpled. “Neither can I. Left after nearly two years. Then I started taking a few painting courses at a local art store and I’ve been doing just that ever since.”

“Wow,” you breathed out. “And your family they were – I mean you made everything work out for you?”

He nodded again. “Obviously I kept a job for a while, I was actually working at that little art shop for a few years too. My family was okay with it – my mum especially was always supportive. I remember when I told her I wanted to leave school to work on art she said she couldn’t imagine me doing anything else.”

“I love that,” you hummed, biting your lips together. A small part of you wished that you had that kind of unconditional support. But you kept your lips together and pushed the thoughts from your head, not wanting to bring down the mood.

“I send her some of my paintings; take them off the frame and roll them up for her. Her and my sister flew out and came to my first show over here – even though I only had two works in it.”

Mentally giving yourself a pat on the back for having correctly assumed Harry couldn’t have been an only child with the way he acted. You really did love when your hunch about someone was proven right.

“That’s really sweet,” you smiled at him. “You must miss them.”

“I do, yeah.” He hummed, catching your eyes with his for a second. “But I am glad to have moved out here. I felt like it could be temporary – I would love to live in London someday but I’m really happy to be here.”

Only nodding, you felt yourself getting lost in your own thoughts for a brief second before Harry pulled you back out of them. “What about you, you miss home much?”

Shrugging, you didn’t know what to say. “I mean a bit, in the way that anyone gets nostalgic. But,” you took a breath.

“I know this sounds terrible but honestly I don’t. It’s… exhausting to be home. I moved further away for school for a reason.”

You didn’t know what else to say, hoping that Harry would jump in with something else. You shot him a quick look, seeing his eyes intent on yours as he listened and waited for you too keep speaking.

“That’s not terrible,” he spoke quietly, after a few more seconds in silence.

You hummed, not sure what to say. Walking in silence for a few more moments and taking another breath before you chose to speak again. “My parents live hours away from each other now anyway, so I feel like there’s not really a home to go back to, you know?”

“I’m sorry,” Harry’s voice was soft.

“You don’t need to apologize,” you smiled, small shrug in your shoulders. “Nothing to be sorry for. I’m happy to have moved away – happy to be here too.”

Harry remained quiet, giving you the chance to go on if you wanted to. Although right now you really didn’t want to – you were having such a good evening and you didn’t want to bring any of that down by discussing your family.

Quietly walking side by side, with only the moon and the stars surrounding the both of you, Harry cleared his throat once more.

“So, what was it again that you like about this place?”

“Just the mood of it,” you shot him a glance. “Something about walking along the wood – I just really like it. And I like the smell too, I know it’s probably diesel and chemicals but it’s just oddly nostalgic for me for no real reason.”

“I see that,” Harry smiled. “So other than walking out here, what other small things make you happy?”

You were confused for a second, Harry further explaining himself after you didn’t answer.

“Just like, anything that could seem insignificant that you enjoy for whatever reason at all.”

“Oh,” you hummed, a small smile tugged at your lips at the question. You didn’t know why it made your heart soar that he was asking you about this – but it just did.

“This is really dumb,” you said after a moment. “But at work, I really like it when an older customer – they’re usually regulars – when they come in with their book and they get a coffee and a little cake or a treat and just sit there for hours.”

Pausing, not sure how to explain how you felt because right now it just sounded like any other interaction with a patron. “It's a happy-sad feeling – I don’t really know why. I love that coming into my café and having a chat with me is part of their routine, but there’s also something that just makes me feel the tiniest bit sad…”

Harry remained silent, letting you explain yourself. “It’s like, sometimes you watch a movie that has a happy ending, but you can’t help but feel the slightest bit melancholic, you know?”

Your eyes darted over to him, seeing him nod. “I know the feeling, yeah.”

Harry had never really thought about that before, never paying too close attention to the other patrons when he frequented your café. “You pay close attention to a lot of regulars, huh? I thought I was special.”

You let out a laugh, shaking your head as your shoulder bumped his.

“Sorry to burst your bubble,” you teased, feeling his pace slow down, deciding to stop where you were.  You leant up against the railing that  kept you from the water.

“What about you?” You turned to him. “I know you said you didn’t want to share much about the paintings you're working on currently, but what’s something small that you like to pay attention to for your art?”

“I don’t want to bore you with every detail…” he started out, feeling like he had been speaking about his practice the entire time.

You shook your head. “I want to hear about your art – I like it.”

Harry slipped his lips between his teeth, head dipping down for a second as he felt his cheeks blush. “Well,” he started. “My current work is still very much in progress – not really ready for anyone to see or hear about it just yet.”

“But right now – or for the past year or so I’ve been really paying attention to moments between people.”

“Just … small touches or moments of intimacy, you know? Like seeing someone rest their head on someone else’s shoulder, seeing two people hug in a big crowd. Just small moments like that where you know that they’re in their own world.”

You were quiet, even after he was done speaking. Leaning your forearms against the wooden railing, feet kicking at nothing on the ground. You saw exactly what he explained – about the little touches of public, yet private, intimacy.

“I know what you mean,” you finally said, voice quiet as it carried over the space between the two of you. Harry has his back against the railing as he keeps his eyes on you.

After he realized you weren’t going to say anything else, he kept speaking. “It’s nice, you know? Seeing people wrapped up in their … love and adoration for each other like that.”

You hummed, his words swimming through your head. “Guess I never really thought about that –” cutting yourself off, before continuing even quieter, “– guess I haven’t really experienced it like that.”

Another wave of silence washed over you, before Harry turned in his place so that he could face you directly.

The reflection of the moon rippled in the water. “Have you ever been in love?”

His words caught you slightly off guard.

You had been in relationships, sure. You’d had partners tell you that they loved you, and maybe once or twice you returned the sentiment. But you didn’t really know what it meant.

“I –” you paused. “I don’t know.”

“You say that a lot.”

You could just make out Harry’s expression. The lighting was sparse, but every little dip and curve on his features were clear as day, and his eyes held that little smile they often did.

“I know,” the words were too small puffs of air past your lips.

You held your breath in, before continuing. “I’ve always thought that I’d know, but I feel like I’ve never been in it in the way that you described. Not fully. I – I don’t know.”

The way he looked at you made your heart beat just a bit faster in your chest, so loud you were sure he must be able to hear it.

“It’s okay to not know,” he spoke so softly. You didn’t even realize you were leaning in closer to him until your knee bumped his.

“Have you?” You cleared your throat, the noise breaking through the otherwise quiet surrounding. “Have you ever been in love?”

You didn’t know why you were so afraid of his answer.

“I think so, or,” Harry paused, a small furrow in his brow as his eyes were still intent on yours. “I thought so.”

This time, your heart stopped.

“Thought so?” Voice sounding a bit hoarse, you again found yourself afraid of his answer.

There was a small shrug in his shoulders. You couldn’t help but briefly think about Rory, about whether he was ever in love with her, but you shook the thought from your head.

“I guess… I guess I’ve been heartbroken before. I’ve loved, for sure. But I don’t know if I was really in love. If that makes sense.”

Maybe he really was just as confused as you were.

“I guess you don’t know until you’re really in it.” He had his bottom lip between his teeth.

“I guess you don’t,” you repeated.

What Harry wanted to tell you, was that he had never felt the way he did when he was with you.

He also didn’t know how to tell you – he really felt like he didn’t know anything at that moment either.

He was drawn to you from the first moment he had spoken to you, and found himself unable to ever get enough every time he saw you. It had been over a month and a half since he’d first walked into your café, since he’d first met you, and he couldn’t believe the way you made him swoon.

But he didn’t truly realize that, and the last thing he wanted to do was scare you off.

So instead, he reached forward so that his palm could rest under your jaw and stepped a tad closer to you. He saw you visibly leaning in to his touch, your eyelashes hitting the top of your cheeks for a brief moment with a slow blink.

“Thank you for coming tonight,” he whispered, voice low as his knuckles brushed over your jaw.

You nearly sighed at his touch, butterflies in your stomach erupting once again when he spoke so softly. He always seemed to be able to grab such a strong hold on you – both physically and metaphorically – but all while treating you with the gentlest of touches. “Of course.”

“I really,” he paused with his own sigh. Hand on your jaw sliding over your skin, grabbing a light hold at the back of your neck. “I really like spending time with you like this.”

Only able to nod, almost having to look away from his intense gaze. There was nothing else to look at though, nothing else you wanted to look at. 

“Me too.” The words were barely there, just a pass of air from the back of your throat.

You felt his other hand smooth over your spine, fingertips finding your waist as he seemed to be blindly tracing the raised orange embroidery on your dress. Further leaning into his touch, you knew your eyes were darting all around his face as you were unable to focus on just one thing.

His own eyes fell down once more to the curve of your lips, and you felt them fall parted with your tongue wetting them on instinct.

“Can I kiss you?”

Nearly wanting to giggle at the question, as he had done much more than kiss you in the past week, and since the question seemed to be just a little late, but a laugh was the last thing on your mind right then.

All you could do was nod in his grasp, your eyes never leaving his – not for one single second. After a heavy swallow and a raspy little “yes” leaving your mouth, you let your hands fall to his shoulders to embrace him closer.

He pulled you closer in a quick motion, hand on your back holding you tight. Your chest fell against his, head remaining upright with his thumb still under your jaw.

Lips pressing against yours lightly at first, like whispers of a kiss against your mouth. He pecked two, three, four kisses on your lips like that before you edged your jaw forward and let him fully capture your mouth.

Your heartbeat was loud in your ears when he fully pressed his lips against yours, with just enough pressure and desire to make your head spin. A little gasp escaped the back of your throat when he grabbed hold of your bottom lip between his, a soft nip of his teeth against the sensitive skin.

Lips parted together, never able to get enough of the way he felt against you. Harry’s tongue heatedly pushed past your lips mouth gladly opening for him. He grazed into your mouth, arm around you pulling you closer to him. Hot breath mixing together, he pushed your back against the railing behind you just a bit more so that his hips could press with yours.

His hand on your back had migrated, dancing over the curve of your bum before sliding around and giving your hip a sharp squeeze. It never rested in one place, as if he couldn’t get enough of the feeling of your body against his.

You returned his fervour, one hand smoothing over his neck until your fingertips were being pushed through his hair. Fist closing as you tugged gently on his hair, eliciting a little groan from Harry before he was licking into you once more.

Minutes passed, you had no idea how long the two of you spent like that under the stars and the moon.

He pulled away, barely, for a breath with heavy eyelids trained on you. His forehead was a millimetre away, loose curls brushing over your skin and tip of his lips brushing yours when he spoke.

“I,” he sighed, voice sounding so close to you as your eyelids just barely opened. “I – you’re unreal.”

His voice rasped slightly, as if he had just been woken up. The way he murmured  quietly against you had your head spinning, thinking about how he would sound moaning your name. 

Just as he was moving in to capture your lips with his one more time, a quiet buzzing was heard from somewhere. It took you a moment to register that it was your phone that was sitting in your purse.

“I think that’s yours,” Harry chuckled quietly, air hitting your lips as he spoke.

“Oh, fuck I’m sorry,” you pulled your arms away from him, fingers fumbling with the zipper of your bag. Pulling your phone out, you saw your brother's name flash across the screen.

You knew you should answer it, but you didn’t want to and he had already interrupted you. Declining the call with a text, telling him you couldn’t talk right now, you placed your phone back into your bag.

“Sorry about that,” you hummed, gazing back up at Harry.

“It’s not a problem,” he grinned down at you, a hand still wrapped around your waist. “It is getting late though, let me get you home, yeah?”

Waking up to a ringing phone wasn’t ideal. Especially early on your day off.

At first you thought it was your alarm, and you tried to snooze it. And then when it started ringing again, you slowly blinked yourself out of sleep to squint at the phone screen.

Realizing it was a call, realizing it was a call from your boss at seven in the morning, you sprang up.

“Hello?”

She spoke your name, seemingly relieved to hear you answering the phone. “I’m so sorry to be calling you, I know it’s your day off.”

“It’s okay,” your voice was groggy. “What’s up?”

“No one’s at the shop right now – no one’s opened.”

You jumped out of bed this time, double checking the clock on your phone to see it five minutes past seven. “What?!”

“I happened to check the cameras this morning, and no one is there. Do you think you could head over there to open?”

You let out a sigh, hearing the desperation in her voice. She was away at the moment, otherwise you knew she would do it herself. It was also lucky that she could check the security cameras from her phone, something you knew she did very rarely.

“It would just be for a bit; I can get a hold of someone else to finish off the rest of the shift.”

“Yeah I can go over,” you were already looking for your pants. “I’ll get there as soon as I can.”

“Thank you so much,” she rushed through the phone. “Noah was supposed to open today I think, right? I’ve been trying to get a hold of him but not luck so far.”

After getting off the phone with your boss, you quickly pulled on jeans and a bra, a baggy shirt over the rest of your body before jumping to the washroom.

There had been moments where you had to get ready in a rush before, of course you had, it happened to everyone to sleep past their alarm. But the magic of the opening shift is that even if you were late to the beginning of the shift, it was always possible to get there before the café actually opened.

Today you didn’t have that pleasure, you would likely be arriving after half past seven at the earliest.

Mentally cursing Noah, you tried to the best with your hair you possibly could and roughly rubbed in some moisturizer into your skin before you were running out the door.

After a not so elegant speed walk down the street, you were unlocking the café doors and unfortunately leaving the door propped open for anyone to walk in.

And to your displeasure, people did walk in. You had a grumbling regular who was mad he couldn’t come in bright and early, you had a big family grabbing an early breakfast, you just had too many people asking you for things all while trying to open the café.

It was only after an hour that things settled a bit, that you were able to catch a breather and actually grab yourself a glass of water.

You were sat on the little stool in the back room, keeping your eye on the front counter in case anyone showed up. Updating Grace, your boss and owner of the café, on how everything was fine on your end and that you still hadn’t heard a peep from Noah who was the one supposed to open today.

It was just as you sent him one more text, that your name was heard from a familiar voice. You saw Harry poking his head through the doorway, both of your expressions mirroring the others in your surprise.

“Hey,” you sighed, running a hand over your hair, knowing you looked a bit a mess. Standing from the stool, you walked the short distance to the doorway as you leant up against it with your glass in hand.

“I thought you were off today?” He grinned dimples showing on his cheeks. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, I just – didn’t expect it is all.”

“I am,” you couldn’t help the hint of bitterness in your tone. “No one came in to open this morning – I got called in.”

You saw his eyebrows fall to a small furrow. “Oh fuck. How does that happen, no one opening?”

Only shrugging your shoulders, you took another sip of your water. You couldn’t help but gently shut your eyes, feeling your exhaust slowly overcome you.

“I don’t know. Can’t get a hold of the person who was supposed to open. I mean I’m assuming that they’re just still sleeping or something.”

“That’s shitty, and on your day off too.”

“It’s okay,” you shot him a small smile. “At least I don’t have to work the full shift today, just opening and I should be off soon, someone else is coming in to finish the shift. Did you want to get a coffee?”

“Uhm – if you were taking a little break its okay, I don’t need to –”

You cut him off with a laugh. “Stop that, I’ll get you a coffee.”

“Just to go for today,” he spoke, as you were tamping the espresso grounds. Nodding as you grabbed a paper to go cup, placing it under the portafilter and pressing the button to begin the slow and steady pour of espresso.

“What do you have going on today?” You asked, keeping your eyes on the passing seconds of the espresso pour.

“I’m actually headed over to Yanis’ place – a few of us are working on a collaboration piece together.”

“That’s so cool,” you smiled, sliding the to-go cup over to him as he grabbed a lid from where they were on the counter.

“What about you?” He returned your grin. “Get some sleep after this impromptu morning shift and before another week of work?”

“Oh, I’m actually going to be off for the next week or so,” you spoke absentmindedly. “My brother is coming to stay with me.”

“That’ll be good,” Harry mused from across you, having never heard you speak about your brother.

You only sighed, his words not really registering. “I guess.”

Not wanting to think too much about the week you were going to have to spend with your brother, you cleaned out the portafilter and tried to change the subject. “What are you working on with everyone?”

Harry was quiet for a second, eyes intent on you before he cleared his throat and answered. “It's all Yanis’ idea – he wanted a big collaboration but really, he’s the brains behind everything. We’re just starting today so honestly I’m not really sure what will come of it.”

“That sounds like it’s gonna be good,” you grinned.

“I hope so –” he paused, checking his phone, “sorry I have to head out. But I hope your day gets better and I’ll see you soon!”

You waved as he left, only a few more minutes into you were able to leave the café.

You physically felt your shoulders drop when you saw Aleena walk through the door. She had been scheduled to work today already, just coming in a bit earlier to give you a big helping hand.

“Thank you so much,” was the first thing you said when you saw her. “You are the absolute best. I promise I’ll buy you a drink, or dinner.”

She laughed. “No need for that, really. Should be Noah buying both of us dinner.”

“Yeah,” you muttered, nodding your head. “He really should be.”

She clocked in, and you waited a second before speaking again. “Is it okay if I head out now? I can stay and help if you need me to but –”

She cut you off. “Go, go. I know you have to go get your brother later today, and I’m sure you don’t want to be here right now.”

You could kiss her. “Really, thank you so much.”

You were rushing out of the café after grabbing your bag. You wanted to shower as soon as you got home, hopefully having the time for a little nap before you had to go over to the airport to greet your brother.

Just as you were turning the corner away from the café, a familiar outfit across the street caught your attention. You recognized Harry, nearly amused to see him still so close to the café. Your pace slowed down slightly, you were considering catching his attention or maybe just yelling his name across the street as you didn’t really have time to stop and chat once again.

Although any idea you had fell out of your head when you saw two more people with him, getting a better view of them as you walked along your side of the street. You recognized one of those people to be Yanis, and after a small squint you realized who the other person was.

You kept walking, eyes flitting over to the group across the street a few more times before you turned another corner and away from them. You knew you had no reason to be upset, or not upset, annoyed that Harry was spending time with his ex.

He had mentioned that they both still ran in the same circles, but you didn’t imagine that meant hanging out just on the daily. Or maybe not the daily, in fact you had no idea how often they spent time together. He had never mentioned her to you before, and you tried not to feel overly annoyed because you knew you had no real right to.

This just wasn’t coming out to be a very good day for you.

Trying to push everything about Harry and Rory out of your mind, you rushed the rest of the way home as you were slightly dreading the fact that in a few hours you were going to have to head over and greet your brother at the airport.

The first day with your brother was okay.

You were never that close growing up, for no particular reason. It wasn’t until you grew older that you realized you wished you had a better relationship with him, that you wished you could be like those siblings on TV.

He tormented you, in the way that older brothers usually did, but there was never a good side to your relationship with him. It got to a point where you began to realize that you nearly resented people for how close they were with their siblings.

Ever since your parent’s divorce, the two of you somehow grew closer and further apart. Closer in the sense that now it truly was the two of you against them, but further apart because your lives were in such different places.

He always knew  what he wanted to do in life, and he was currently doing well for himself. He had gotten married already, and was living in a nice apartment that was also close to both your parents, much closer than you were.

He was going to be spending three days with you, his idea. You knew it would be bad to say no, knowing deep down that you needed to maintain a relationship with him. You loved him – he was your brother but you didn’t necessarily want to spend three days with him.

You always came out of any interaction – even a phone call with him – exhausted and anxious about the state your life was in.

Since you were going to be taking some time off anyway, you decided to give yourself an extra two days off just so you can have some time for yourself and didn’t need to jump right back into work.

“How’s Sophie?” You asked your brother about his wife, as you unpacked some groceries you got after meeting him at the airport. They had gotten married nearly two years ago.

“We’re good, she’s good,” he seemed to pause, sitting in your recently deep cleaned kitchen.

“Yeah?” You probed further, noticing his sudden hesitation.

“She’s actually – she’s pregnant.”

You nearly dropped the knife you had just grabbed. “What?”

He nodded. “She’s due next March. We’re really excited.”

“Oh my God –” you muttered, still in the headspace where when you heard when you heard the word ‘pregnant’ it was usually followed by anxiety not joy, even if some of your friends from college had kids of their own as well.

“Congratulations,” you snapped out of it. “That’s – that’s great! Congratulations, I’m sure she’s really happy.”

“Yeah, she is. We both are.”

“That’s great,” you repeated, turning back around and busying yourself with starting to prepare dinner.

He was quiet for a second. “How about you, are you seeing anyone?”

You very rarely shared details of your personal life with your brother, unless specifically asked. And even then, it was all very vague.

“Uhm,” you didn’t know why you were pausing; you knew your answer. The question was simple, the answer was just as simple – but for some reason the reality seemed much more complicated.

But you really didn’t want to talk about that now, especially not with your brother. “No, not really.”

You only heard him hum from behind you, before he spoke again. “Oh. You know I was talking with mom – you know she was younger than you when she had me.”

Christ.

“I know,” you only muttered, not giving him the satisfaction of getting upset over his words.

“All I’m saying,” he could likely sense your annoyance. “Is that I know you’re having fun out here in the city and whatever, but you’re nearly thirty.”

You spun around, unable to hide your anger. “I’m not nearly thirty. I’m in my mid-twenties – and even if I was, so what? There’s no timeline I need to be following.”

“I’m just saying” he put up his hands in defense, as if you had been attacking him unprovoked.

You had to tell yourself to not continue down this path, he wouldn’t budge in what he was saying. “How’s work going?” He said instead.

Again, something else you didn’t feel too keen on discussing with him. “Fine.”

“If you wanted to get your foot into something else, I can probably help you with something at my company.”

Your jaw clenched. “Thanks, but I’m good.”

“Seriously – even in the New York office I could help you out. You’d probably need to intern first –”

“I said it was fine,” you cut him off, feeling worn. “Thank you, but I’m okay with what I’m doing.”

Again, he only put his hands up as if he was doing nothing wrong. You willed yourself to not feel too angry over it, knowing that you were already mentally tired and if you kept speaking with him about this you might start crying – something he’d only use against you.

After a few much needed topic changes, dinner was ready and you were playing a show the both of you used to enjoy when you were in secondary school. You didn’t go to bed very late, making his bed on the couch before you headed off to sleep as well.

Only two more days, you told yourself. It would be fine – it was your brother and everything was going to be fine.

Settling yourself into bed, phone in hand as you tentatively typed in Harry’s username into Instagram. You found it quickly, seeing him having no new posts since the time you and Mae had looked over his page. Although, there was a little circle around his icon showing that he had a story.

Curiosity getting the best of you, knowing full well your own username would show up if he were to check who was looking at his story, you tapped on the icon.

Holding your thumb down on the single picture eyeing over the three accounts that were tagged in the story.

You paused when you read over a username that contained the name ‘Rory’.

So he had been spending the day with her.

You tapped on her username, watching the app take you to her account. It was a public page, with a pretty hefty following. You scrolled through rows of images, tapping on a few here and there to further inspect the posts. Most were about her art, some pictures of herself and her friends here and there but nothing out of the ordinary for a twenty-something woman.

Holy shit. You were about two years deep on her account, seeing pictures from a show she had in Berlin. You couldn’t help feel the slightest bit impressed.

Going over to her tagged photos, you scrolled a bit seeing mostly photos with friends and a few of what you figured were her art works.

The one that caught your eye, though, was a painting that seemed familiar to you for some reason.

Going over to the image, you realized why there was an air of familiarity to it. The picture was from Harry’s Instagram, a painting he had done of her back in early 2018.

His style had seemingly slightly evolved since then, but it was still very much him. The painting was of the side of her face, the setting around her not very defined so all the focus was on her profile. She was looking away, the side of her face painted in hues of gold and yellow that blended into her dark hair.

Green and yellow surrounded her, like she was outside during a sunset – it was a beautiful painting of her. The caption read “inspiration”.

You shrank back into bed.

The post was about two and a half years ago, it was in the past and you shouldn’t be overthinking it. But you felt small in comparison.

She had clearly been his muse, of some kind and the fact that he was still spending time with her just was sitting right with you.

You knew, a huge part of you knew that you shouldn’t be thinking about this. You tried to think back to all the stomach fluttering and weak-kneed kisses he had given you, the way that every touch of his skin on yours felt so right.

You thought back to the other night, the nearly romantic conversation you had shared before he kissed any anxiety or fear out of you.

But still, a smaller but louder part of you was telling you that it didn’t mean as much as you originally thought it did.

The day seemed to be one thing after another, and just as you were about to shut off your phone and try not to cry because you knew it’d make you feel silly, your phone buzzed with a text.

Again, this day was just one thing after another. It was Grace, your boss, asking you to cover Noah’s shift tomorrow. He had taken the weekend off last minute, and his 9-3 tomorrow couldn’t be covered by anyone else.

Typing back an annoyed ‘yes’, this time you couldn’t help but feel truly upset. You were exhausted from work, honestly. You knew you would still have some time off, and Grace was so kind to you, but you were just. Tired. 

[cosmiclatte28]

#12 Lay by Your Side (Taeyong x you)

Twelfth day of Christmas (the last one!)

Lay by Your Side (Taeyong x you)

 I do not own pictures, but I own the stories :D. It’s the last day of the project and although the header doesn’t really fit the theme, it’s too cute!! I gotta do it lol 

Before reading I want to thank you all for reading this much :D I really appreciate your time and everything else you give for this 🥺🤗💖 ily all! Here we go

It’s another new year, a new chance to start the things you missed last year, a chance to fix your mistakes, the time for you to learn and grow from your past self.

You rest your eyes from watching the picturesque scene laid before your eyes. The blue green endless ocean that meets the horizon, the bright sun shining above your head and of course the sight of a book cover you can see when you raise your head.

You’re enjoying the last day staying in a bungalow at Hawaii before duty and responsibility call back. With your boyfriend, Lee Taeyong, relaxing on the long couch while reading his newest novel and your head is resting on his strong thighs.

The gentle breeze coming from the ocean through the window is enough to almost drive you to sleep, along with Taeyong’s slender fingers slowly stroking your hair as he focuses on his story, you can’t hold back the sleepiness hitting your body.

You yawn and feel his fingers leave your hair, only to hear a page flips and his fingers are back, stroking your hair calmly while sometimes applying a bit of a pressure to your scalp. You exhale and relax your shoulder, feeling even drowsier now.

“Yong-ie” you mumble with your eyes closed, you’re bored seeing the cover.

“Hmm?” he asks you back, his head didn’t move, his book is still in the same place and you bet his eyes are not stopping at all from those lines.

“Fun part?” you ask him the chapter he is reading, well it’s not like he is ignoring you the whole holiday to finish that book. No, he was treating you so well and he just continued where he left off today. You understand if he wants to add a few more pages before he is back to his tight schedule as an idol.

“Quiet exhilarating, why? Need anything?” he asks finally pausing and putting aside the book so he can see your face.

“Glad I can finally see your face, not that boring book cover.” You grin and he leans in to kiss you.

“Sorry, let me fix my posture a bit,” he pulls his body that has been slipping down the couch and you yelp when you feel your head forced to meet his knees.

“Whoops, sorry” he picks you up from your neck slowly and helps you return to your position.

You giggle when you realize he’s still sweet even after he did something so clumsy. You flip your body so you’re resting your arms on his thighs as you cup your cheeks. You’re laying on your belly between his legs. (I really hope you can picture this)

“It’s okay, what are we going to do after this?” you ask, sending him a subtle hint you’re wishing to be able to do something else in this good villa before going home.

Taeyong smirks “Want what? We’ve explored everything around here, we even went swimming this morning.” He rubs circle with his thumb on your slightly tanned shoulder.

“Didn’t you have enough tan already? I cannot go tanner than this even if I want to, my stylist will kill me.” He chuckles and you nod your head “I know, I mean if I want my skin to be tanner, I’ll do it by myself. But-“ your breath hitched when you catch his red shiny lips in your sight.

Taeyong follows your gaze and realizes where you are staring at and he licks his lips when he caught you staring “Eyes are up here miss,” he teases you and do the regular “see my eyes here” finger gestures.

You gulp “Sorry,” and you focus your eyes to see his. His dark eyes are twinkling as usual but today with his messy hair he didn’t look cuddly at all.

You secretly snake your arms around his torso and bury your face into his chest before snuggling closer to his body if that is possible.

“Woah, careful can you breathe?” he asks when he sees you plant your face to his torso, you nod “Perfectly fine.”

He giggles and reaches out his book to continue where he left off. He peacefully hold his book on his right hand and his left hand is back to stroking your hair and now touching your skin too slightly grazing over it with his callouses fingers.

You did not know you fell asleep while hugging him. The soft snore coming out from you is what makes Taeyong stop reading his book.

He marks his page down and puts it aside. Slowly without waking you up, Taeyong moves your head so at least he can see your pretty face and ensures himself you’re not suffocated.

The man smiles down lovingly and gently places a kiss on your temple, he lets go when he feels your body stirring. While leaning back to the sofa, Taeyong watches the endless blue horizon that meets the sea. A small smile tugs his lips when he remembered the night he confessed his true feelings to you.

Taeyong always says he is a man with the heart of the sea, yes the sea because it is deep and mysterious. Though some of his friends say that may be interpreted in a wrong way, he met you and you bravely answered him with “And I am a fearless adventurer, who’s not afraid of the deep and mysterious sea. Guess we matched.”

He cannot hide his happiness away when his ring finger sparkles while stroking your hair and getting caught in the golden sun ray. With memories playing in his head, Taeyong plays with the metal ring on his hand. He always wears it everywhere he go, even to music shows!

Taeyong keeps his promise ring on his hand no matter what, no matter how hard the stylists tried to make him put it down just for the sake of the wardrobe and cameras. He always find a way to sneak it back on or just go to a long ass bickering of ridiculous things like

“It is my lucky ring… my mom said to never take this off…. Hey I might lose it….” And others even silly ones. But in the end, he did it. He always brings that small part of you with him, to remind him you are his and he is yours. He’s glad you’re not the type who gets jealousies instantly or even put needless curiosity over him.

Instead, Taeyong is more protective of you. He knows your past with your boyfriends are not good, especially the ones that secretly date another person, or just the abusive ones who are obsessed to have you. Taeyong acts protective because he didn’t want any one of them to hurt you, but you just smile and tell him “Thank you Tae, but trust me I can keep myself safe.”

And for three years of dating, you proofed yourself to Taeyong that you can take a good care of yourself. Saesang fans have gotten through your way before, but you can finish it off with a cold head and cold heart. You talked to them nicely, explaining that no it’s not a relationship. Well to you and him this is already beyond relationship, both of you are committed already and slowly taking steps to marriage. The fans asked your apology and you told them you won’t make a fuss if they keep quiet and also stop being a saesang.

You even asked them to join you for a drink and they open up to you, you learnt they became this wild  because they crave for attentions they couldn’t get. So, you give them the attention they needed. Every month, you make a small gathering for that group of fans and they even bring more fans too and you just reveal yourself to be a nobody. They didn’t really mind who you are, they’re so happy to see that being a healthy fan is way way way much better.

You never tell Taeyong about that secret project, he only found out about it when a fan came to him during fan sign and told him everything. Taeyong went home that day with fascination, he told you about the story and he even praised the creator of that event.

You teased him “So you wanna marry that person?”

Taeyong on that day giggled and pulls out an “are you insane face” “Hell if I am not committed yet, I might ask that person out.”

You nod your head “I’m gonna tell you, even when you’re committed you can do that.”

He shakes his head “No way! I am not going to hurt you. I was just talking nonsense.”

You just silently walk to his back and hug him “Will you still say no when I show you who runs that project?” you show your phone to his face and swipe the photos you took from each event.

He went speechless and when his soul is back, Taeyong gets down on one knees and proposes without a ring. But that spontaneity and the air that night, made you nod your head. The night and the promise were sealed with a warm passionate kiss.

He bought you the ring two days after it, because he asked the jeweler to crave names inside.

It was a beautiful memory and you’ve passed the event on to another friend you trust can handle the lonely fans. You disappear from media because slowly Taeyong and you will be coming up to the agency and open up the hidden stories, though you both don’t know when.

He wants to marry you once the agency gives him the green light and of course after both your parents and his agree. Though he knows the latter part will be easier than the first one.

“So, are we going up this year?” Taeyong mumbles to the air, he is not actually talking to you for he knows you’re sleeping.

But even in your sleep, you unconsciously nod your head and give him a reassuring face he always gets from your face whenever he is in doubt.

Taeyong brushes your hair away from your glowing face and leans in once again to seal his lips with yours. “I love you (y/n), to infinity and beyond.” He whispers and seals your lips one more time.

end

thank you guys for supporting me, this is the last story for the 12 days of Christmas fanfic project! ;D I am happy you all are enjoying this and I just want to wish you all a happy new year!! May all your goals be achieved this year 

See you on another story :D

I love you all!! Thanks for being an amazing friends who want to read my small writings 💖

Christmas masterlist completed

[bucksbisexual]

well, well, well. it’s the end of 2020.

kinda weird, isn’t it? the year has flown by and it’s already the end of the last month. it’s been..... strange to say the least, but this year i’ve found a place, and most specifically, people who have made this year a little bit better and brighter with either their presence or their content, and for that, i want to send some love to all of you who have made an impact on me this year with our interactions or your content on my dashboard 💖💖

i feel like i should start with everyone who has added me in their follow forevers (i still can’t believe i was even part of a single one??? i- 🥺) so let me do just that hehe

@yihwas​ soph!! we haven’t interacted much but every time we did u have been nothing but the sweetest and kindest person ever and that made such a great impact on me, thank u for being so amazing 🥰💛

@planthusbands​ cass!!! even though our age gap is 10 whole years you have been nothing but welcoming and lovely to me and u truly feel like an older sister to me 🥺💚 the cover u did for our secret santa hugs me tightly whenever i feel down 💖

@petekaos​ rahul!!!! (or should i say rhaul kjsjfhsfj my fingers h*te u for no reason i swear) u are such a lovely person and i’m so glad to be able to have gotten to know u better this year. you’re so amazing and u already know from before we even interacted that i Love ur fics so please never let anything stop u from writing!! 💙

@wjmild​ kylie!!! we have been talking more lately because of both of us (well, now only me) watching guardian and it’s so much fun!! i love hearing ur thoughts and opinions on things even if they differ from mine because i find u really interesting!!! also u’ve probably heard this from everyone from the gc but i love ur voice jhfkjsf love u lotsss 🧡

@toptaps​ zey!! we haven’t interacted much and have barely spoken on dms but u’re so lovely and kind 💛 ur love for things makes me want to love them as well (see: guardian) and i would love to get to know u better this year that’s just around the corner 🥰

okay and now.. to everyone else!!

@brightwin​ jelly!!! i miss u tons :-( but thank u for being so lovely whenever we interacted, you’re so nice to everyone and so so so talented when it comes to giffing, you’re pretty much the person who made me want to start giffing so thank u for creating such masterpieces 💛

@gunatps​ vee!!! are u feeling better love? i hope you’re recovering well <3 i loved getting to know u this year and loved all the weird conversations in the gc when it was alexa, u and me or sometimes just u and me, i miss bicis but hopefully bicis can come back as soon as u recover. ur korn apologist agenda was strong but u ended up being right... truly The Monarch skjfhsj love u lots 🧡 (i will join ur next chanonpom breakdown on vc okay? just tell me when and i’ll be there <3)

@kimmonv​ violet!!! we haven’t talked much but u seem like such an interesting and funny person, i would love to talk more with u this next year 🥰 i loved being ur secret santa (even if i sucked at it) and i felt rlly happy when u said u liked it!! i hope 2021 treats u well 💚

@lee-thanat​ ke!!! i loved getting to know u a little this year and i definitely loved trying to read ur nonsensical messages that were supposed to mean something KHSFJSHF i also loved playing with u on among us that one time even if i killed u once (sorry about that btw... ily), i hope everything’s going well and that we can talk more next year 💜

@soulmatelines​ jo!!! my twin sjkfjksfh i loooved getting to know u this year!! you’re so funny and so smart even if ur artistic skills are... Not The Best skfjhjfhks (neither are mine so it’s okay, no need to feel bad) i loved being on vc with u and just talking with u on discord whenever u were online, i hope we can continue doing that next year!!! love u lots 💛

@pvrrish​ eleni!! we’ve talked so little this year that i can barely remember if there was any conversation at all :-(( but i would love to get to know u better this next year!! u seem like such an interesting person and u and angel are friends so i’m sure u’re amazing!! hope 2021 treats u well 💚

@class2clown​ angel!!! it’s been such a pleasure to get to know u this year and i can’t believe that it’s already been months since we first spoke :’)) all of ur creations are soooo good and i love all of them!!! i hope nothing ever stops u from creating more because they’re all so amazing!!! 🧡

@floralbfs​ augs!!!! god it’s been a while since we started talking but u’ve always been so lovely and have always been there to share ur ideas for the thousand unwritten/posted pangwave and khaithird fics on our dms... i’m so glad that u rbed one of my tgg posts asking for the drama’s name because otherwise i wouldn’t have gotten to know someone as amazing as u 🥰 i hope 2021 is easier for u, sending u lots of love 💛

@vihokratanas​ mel!!! we haven’t spoken much but i’ve noticed that we share our love for a few dramas so i’d love to get to know u better this next year!!! u and violet’s almost daily spam on the bops channel is dearly missed but i know u guys are busy so hopefully this 2021 will be a bit more relaxed 🧡

@doctorbahnjit​ alexa my love!!!!! what can i even tell u.... you’ve been nothing but kind since day 1 that we started talking on the gc and to get to know u this 2020 was such a delight. thank u for being who u are and thank u for watching dramas with me on vc even if u can’t (or i can’t) hear shit, i appreciate it sososososo much and i just love spending hours upon hours (well, until ur grandma ass has to go to sleep) chatting and watching debatably good dramas with u and dawn <3 i hope 2021 treats u better and that u still stay being as awesome as u are 🥰💖

@pangwave​ dawnnie my baby!!!!! hi bb how’s everything going?? i hope u’re okay, i miss u a lot :-(( getting to know u this year has been one of the best things that have come out of this hellhole of a year. thank u for making most of my nights so entertaining with both ur thoughts and ur dumb fights with alexa, they’ve been the highlight of my days from these past 2 months :’) the endless vc calls with u and alexa (and ur shitty internet cutting every single one of ur sentences)  have made my year so much better and i can’t thank u enough for that. u and ur crabsticks and ur opinions and ur incredibly good gifsets are truly some of the best things that have come out of this year. thank u sosososo much for being how u are, i love u so much dawnnie 🥰💖

here’s some other people who have been on my dash for a while and that i appreciate their content as well: @scoupslipgloss (i mostly rb u with my sideblog but i love ur acc!!!) @vocalunits @chaoticbiwuxian @drwcn @bimingjue​ (i wouldn’t be a gifmaker if it wasn’t for u sending me the ps download link so i owe u my Life) @aanau (i rb a lot of what u post and i’m sorry if i have ever spammed u skjfhjsf i just love ur blog even if we don’t really share any fandoms aaaa) @emisfritish @leoyunxi @1akorn @gunsatthaphan @asianmelodrama @fushiguroo @khaotungthanawat @mymycorrhizae @jaehwany​ and @coldties amongst the many blogs that i’ve seen all year on my dash!!!! everyone’s content and posts have gotten me through 2020 so thank u all so much for staying on tumblr 💗

i feel like i’ve forgotten people but please know that if u are not in this but we’ve interacted in any way then you’ve most definitely made some kind of impact to me!! these are just the people i talk with the most 💖

thank u all for being soooo amazing and i hope 2021 is good to everyone here and to everyone who reads this. happy holidays and happy new year to everyone 🥰💖✨

[besidemethewholedamntime]

until i knew you

For @huntxngbxrd - I hope you have the bestest day that you deserve for being the bestest bean! ily so much <3

Summary: 

"He asks her to marry him again in the same breath that she tells him that she’s pregnant. Hunter’s jaw hangs open, his eyes wide, and Bobbi launches into a not-very-well-pre-prepared speech about how she knows that it’s a shock, and she knows it’s not exactly ideal timing but they’ll be fine because they’re together and together they can handle everything and they love each other." Bobbi and Hunter make a baby, and a pretty good one at that. AU family feels.

{Read on Ao3}

or read below :)

He asks her to marry him again in the same breath that she tells him that she’s pregnant.

Hunter’s jaw hangs open, his eyes wide, and Bobbi launches into a not-very-well-pre-prepared speech about how she knows that it’s a shock, and she knows it’s not exactly ideal timing but they’ll be fine because they’re together and together they can handle everything and they love each other.

She breaks off when she’s only really a third of the way through because she looks at Hunter’s face, his hands holding out the engagement ring she once threw in his face years ago, that are stock still, and haven’t moved in the past five minutes.

“Hunter?” She says, snapping her fingers in front of his unblinking eyes. “You doing okay there, buddy?”

“Just… um…” he opens and closes his mouth several times, imitating a fish perfectly. “Bloody hell.”

“I know it’s a bit scary,” she begins, moving towards him slowly. “But we can do this.”

His demeanour morphs and, withdrawing the hand holding the ring, this bright and brilliant smile lights up his whole face. “Well, duh, of course we can. You and me, Bob, can do anything.”

It’s a relief. Not that she was ever worried, of course, because she knows Lance Hunter like she knows her own mind, but still, it’s a relief nonetheless, and probably accounts for why she’s a little bit breathless and uncharacteristically quiet when she takes his hands in hers.

“Yeah? You mean that?”

“Of course, I do, or has baby-brain got to you already?” His grin is the only reason she resists from punching him in the arm.

“I’m glad to hear that,” she tells him. “I’m really glad to hear it.”

“At least you’ll have to say yes to my proposal now.” He laughs, holding out the ring which she allows him to slide onto her finger without protest. “Can’t have grandma Hunter thinking her precious Lance is bringing a baby into this world out of wedlock.”

Bobbi laughs and this time does punch him playfully in the arm. She is happy though, incredibly so. To have a child with, and be married once again to this man that the universe has inexplicably gifted to her as her soulmate is completely unbelievable but truly, everything she’s ever wanted.

-x-

“No offence, but I think she’s cuter than you.”

“None taken.” Bobbi leans her head back against the too-thin hospital pillow, not caring that she can still feel the bedframe through it. She’s exhausted in the most delightful way, too tired to do anything except lie back and stare at her husband cradling their hour-old daughter in his arms.

“Like bloody well cuter. I can’t take my eyes off her.” He doesn’t look away from their baby as he says this, but she knows the expression on his face. It’s one she’s never seen before, but had recognised it instantly for what it was the moment it appeared. That look of undeniable and unconditional love, the feeling of knowing someone completely even though you’ve just met them. The way that they have your entire heart, body, and soul, and that you know, without a second’s hesitation, that you’d die for them, kill anyone who harmed them.

“Don’t worry,” she murmurs, sleep pulling at her eyelids but she battles it off, not wanting to miss a moment. “I wouldn’t expect you to.”

He does look at her, then, eyes filled with tears and this stupid grin on his face like he’s just won the lottery. “You did bloody amazing, love. I am so proud of you.”

His words bring tears to her eyes. Stupid hormones. She closes her eyes briefly so he doesn’t see – she wants this moment to last forever if she can make it. “I’d do it all over again. She was worth it.”

“She’s worth every decision I’ve ever made,” he says, and Bobbi doesn’t think he’s speaking to her anymore, or even their daughter. Perhaps to the universe. To let it know that he’s made his peace with everything that brought this child to him.

“Yeah,” she softly agrees. “Mine, too.”

“We’ll need to think of a name, you know. Baby girl’s cute and all, but I don’t think my nan would like it if it was her actual name.”

Bobbi chuckles gently, still a bit too sore to give the full laugh. “Since when do we care about what your grandma thinks?”

“Since always I’ll have you know, Bobbi. I’m her favourite.”

“Must not have a lot of good options to choose from then.” She sticks her tongue out at the indignation on his face. “But you’re right. Baby girl only works until you’re three days old, then the cuteness wears off.”

“Please, her cuteness will never wear off, will it?” He coos at the baby who sleeps on soundly in his arms. “You take after your old dad like that. The Hunter charm never fades.”

Bobbi could certainly think of a few times where ‘the Hunter charm’ did indeed wear off, and wear off for a while, but now is not the time to mention it. Not when he looks so happy. “Sure, whatever you want to believe.”

She’s so tired now. Given permission, knowing her daughter is in safe hands (the safest she can imagine), she could gladly fall asleep. It’s only the thought that, if she does, in the middle of a conversation about their baby’s name, Hunter might take it upon himself to give her the craziest name he could think of, just because he could and she wasn’t there to stop him. And while Bobbi likes to think he wouldn’t do that, she’s honestly just not sure.

In the end they discuss it for a quick ten minutes, but she falls asleep in the middle of debating Lucy and Delilah. When she wakes up in the morning, she notices that her daughter’s cot has a little name badge now stuck to it, but the writing’s too small to read what it says. Oh, if he’s done it then she’s actually going to kill him. It’s been less than twenty four hours, for goodness sake, and he honestly only had the one job and that was to not do a damn thing!

The man himself strolls into the room, looking suspiciously fresh for someone who supposedly slept on the floor in a sleeping bag. He’s whistling a tune as he comes to kiss her on the forehead, and it’s with remarkable restraint that she doesn’t reach out and squeeze a hand around his throat.

“I notice the cot has a name badge, now,” she says icily.

His expression doesn’t change; he still looks as calm and collected, as content with the world, as he did when he walked in. She wants him to feel real fear, because if their baby daughter is called something like Calamari just because he thought it was funny then his death is going to be slow and painful indeed.

“Yeah. I thought I’d pick one for you, you know, seeing as you were so tired last night and all that. Just cut right to it.”

“And what, God help you, did you choose?”

“Sophie. It’s what you wanted, wasn’t it?”

It was, actually. It had been the name she’d been thinking about for her daughter before she was even thinking of children. There had been a point, though, where she’d never thought it was going to happen and so she’d buried it, deep, and never thought of it again.

She forgot she told him. She forgot that he would remember.

“It was,” she says softly, looking at her sleeping Sophie in her cot. She aches to hold her but she doesn’t want to wake her, so she hugs her brilliant husband instead.

“Have a little faith in me, sweetheart,” he laughs into her shoulder, and she hugs him tighter in response.

-x-

“Alright!” Bobbi booms, shutting the front door so hard that it rattles the entire house. “Who broke Mrs. Bishop’s window?

She walks into the living room to find her husband and four-year-old daughter sitting at the coffee table, teacups filled with orange juice and a plate of biscuits in front of them. Both have a pirate’s eyepatch on their left eye, a feather boa around their necks, and SHIELD hats (they had to take some swag when they were disavowed) on their heads.

“Wasn’t us, love.” Hunter says innocently, holding a teapot in his hand. “We’re having a tea party.”

“Daddy said biscuits were okay before dinner,” Sophie chimes in.

“Snitch,” Hunter tells her.

“Biscuits aren’t the issue here, you two.” She feels as though she has two children sometimes. “Who broke the window? I’ve just had an earful from Mrs. Bishop and she’s very upset.”

“Ugh, that old bat’s always upset about something,” Hunter moans, pouring some more orange juice into his teacup.

“Well I’d be upset, too, if our window was just broken by a ball that looks suspiciously like the one we had in our backyard this morning.”

“The boys from next door stole it,” Sophie tells her, the one visible eye wide with excitement at the drama. “Me and Daddy saw them and he shouted at them but they wouldn’t give it back.”

Oh. Bobbi calms down considerably, especially because now they don’t have to fork out for a new window and the ‘distress damages’ Mrs Bishop had hinted at, also.

“So, you see, Bob, we were just here having an excellent tea party, no window-breaking whatsoever. Tell her it was those little horrors from next door and that she can’t be accusing a respectable family like us of such nonsense.” He swishes the end of the feather boa over his neck and grins at her. “Now come and have a seat.”

“I can’t,” she says apologetically, thinking of the million things she has to do.

“Oh please, please, please,” Sophie begs her, hopping up and down in her chair. Her smile is so like her father’s that sometimes it takes Bobbi’s breath away. A smile she would die for, she knows that for sure.

“Yeah, love, come on. Have a seat, take a biscuit and some orange juice and relax.” Hunter blows her a kiss and hands her a spare eyepatch.

-x-

“Barbara Morse, you cannot phone the school just to make sure that our daughter has not been swallowed up by a giant sea-monster that has appeared from nowhere and has disappeared to depths unknown.”

She huffs, both at the use of her name and his blatant over exaggeration. “I was just going to make sure that she was doing okay, but thanks for that, Lance Hunter, because now I’m actually worried that she’s been swallowed up by a giant sea-monster that has appeared from nowhere and has disappeared to depths unknown!”

It’s silly, Bobbi knows it is. Millions of children, all over the world, start school and don’t get swallowed up by sea-monsters. They come home with rosy cheeks splattered with paint and grinning with the biggest smiles their parents have seen on them. They make friends, they make fun, and they become even more themselves.

Except it also means they’re growing up, that they’re on that path – albeit a long one – to becoming adults and that one day her precious Sophie, who still needs her to turn on the bathroom light and who can’t quite figure out how to tie her shoelaces just yet, will no longer need her parents the way she does now.

It’s silly, for children aren’t permanent things and were never supposed to be, but Bobbi can’t help the lump in her throat when she thinks of the inevitable future that now seems to be coming at her a lot faster than she once thought it was.

And it’s even sillier, because out of the two of them she’s not really the emotional one, and yet here she is, teary eyed at the thought that her daughter might even be enjoying school, while Hunter stands on the other side of the kitchen, seemingly unaffected by the whole thing.

He had been a bit tearful earlier, when Sophie had run up to him asking if he thought she looked smart in her new outfit, with her new schoolbag and her hair done just so. Bobbi heard him blow his nose in the bathroom.

“You can’t phone them, Bob,” he tells her again, firmly.

She knows but also, she doesn’t. She’s a mother. It’s well within her right.

“I don’t see why not. Just a quick phone call is all. Just to make sure she’s settled,” she pleads with her husband. “Please.”

Hunter comes around to stand in front of her, taking her hands in his. “You can’t phone them,” he says again, looking her straight in the eye. “Because ten minutes ago I just did.”

“You’re amazing sometimes, you know that?” She kisses him, thinking she has never loved him as much as she does right now.

“Only sometimes?” He scoffs, but then he chuckles and smiles that grin that intensifies and also eases her ache for Sophie just a little. “I know.”

-x-

“I still vote for suing them, or at least putting toilet roll all over that instructor’s house.”

“Hunter, we can’t do that. Plenty of kids will break their legs at karate. We signed the insurance papers.”

“It’s because of that instructor’s bloody incompetence that my precious Sophie will have her leg in a cast for the next six weeks, Bob! I can’t believe you’re willing to stand for this.”

“I’m not standing for anything. I’m just saying that we can’t do that.”

“What? You have a better idea?”

“Yes, actually, I do.”

“Whoah! Oh, damn, Bobbi, I like it. Let me get my balaclava and I’ll get you in the car in twenty minutes.”

-x-

“I don’t know whether to mention the fact I was in the SAS, or that I was a mercenary for hire first.” Hunter looks over at her. “What do you think?”

“Mercenary for hire. Kid’s probably never heard of the SAS.”

Hunter nods in assent but mumbles ‘bloody Americans’ under his breath.

Sophie’s brining her boyfriend to meet her parents for the first time. Understandably, she hasn’t told them much about this young man she’s been dating for the past two months and so, understandably, Hunter and Bobbi have been wondering about what to say (and quite possibly do) should this kid turn out to be less than ideal for their daughter.

“I think you should bring the batons out, sweetheart. Just leave them lying on the table and the kid’s bound to notice them.”

“I feel like it’s not subtle enough. We don’t want to be downright terrifying on the first go.”

“Hmm…” Hunter drums his fingers on the kitchen table they sit at. “How about we put them on the wall? We make it look like an ornament, right? And then I make some off-handed comments during dinner about how great you are with them. We suitably terrify him so that he doesn’t muck around with our daughter, but not so that he’s scarred for life?”

Bobbi considers it. It would certainly work. She never thought they’d be the type of parents to be scheming this way, but anything for their child. It brings out the best and worst in them, sometimes, their protective instincts.

“Yeah, okay. Add it to the list.”

-x-

“I still can’t believe she’s gone.”

Bobbi doesn’t say anything, can’t, because now that it’s night time and she’s lying in their bed in their suddenly very empty house in Hunter’s arms she’s suddenly got tears choking her.

She thought she was fine. It was Hunter who cried, earlier. Hunter, who, when they were putting boxes into Sophie’s car (“I can go myself, guys. Seriously. I’ll be fine.”) had had to excuse himself for a whole thirty-minutes to go cry in the bathroom. Hunter, who, when Sophie had driven away to uni, had gone up to the attic and spent the next three hours weeping over baby toys and baby pictures and the feather boas that they had once worn to their tea parties that happened what feels like a lifetime ago.

“What are we going to do now?”

“She’s an adult,” Bobbi manages to choke out, sounding very unlike herself. “We have to let her be one.”

“Stupid kids,” Hunter moans into her shoulder. “They’re all cute and they make you love them and then they just grow up and leave.”

“It’s what they do.” She tries to be diplomatic but she’s rather inclined to agree with him. Kids are stupid, but she loves hers to pieces. “We did it at one point.”

“Oh my God.”

“Exactly.”

It seems to have gone too quickly, these past eighteen years that they’ve nurtured this little person so she can grow and go into the world as her own big person. Sophie is their entire world, all squished into this blonde-haired, sparkly-eyed, dazzling grin-bearing human. To think that they’ve entered this new stage, where the entire dynamic between them has now changed, is more than she can bear.

“I’m going to miss her. A lot.”

“Me too,” Bobbi agrees, feeling the lump come back. “But she’s following her dream and living her life and that’s what we raised her to do.”

“Maybe we did it a little too well. Going to university hundreds of miles way was not what we thought of.”

“We raised her to make her own decisions,” Bobbi says firmly, trying to convince both Hunter and herself. “This was her decision and it was a good one.”

Hunter pulls her tighter to him. “We made a good one.”

She should have put some tissues in her pillow because at this rate it’ll be sopping wet all night. “The best.”

Things fall silent for a bit, and Bobbi, after consoling herself with the knowledge that Sophie said she’d phone tomorrow, almost manages to fall asleep.

Then Hunter taps her not-so-gently and whispers insistently in her ear, “and you remembered to put the panic button in her bag, show her how to use it and all that?”

She smiles into the dark. Well, they couldn’t be entirely normal parents. After all, they’re Bobbi and Hunter. Normal is never something they’ve aspired to be. “You know it.”

He sags against her, visibly relieved. “That’s my girl.”

[hua-lian]

letter to @shdwthief / magnvseffect on ao3

for the @mxtxpositivity event!!

akhdjd originally when I signed up I planned to send you something everyday but dmvdkshd I ended up giving up on that on the first day I’m so sorry

okay so first of all I didn’t expect to get someone I knew HAHHAHAHA writing this is just gonna turn out like an emo letter I’m sorry

so the first fic I ever read of yours was the one you wrote for my birthday and it was so cute??? your style of writing is really really poetic and I loved your characterization!!! not just of that sangcheng fic but also in the shuangxuan fic I read of yours, which was SO GOOD

your writing is soft and sweet but your angsty is so painful i really enjoy reading it

honestly?? I haven’t cared about mdzs for months now, and literally I’ve only read your fics since like,,, a month now (sangcheng’s barely keeping me in) AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH??? all your sangcheng fics are adorable and I love them a lot

your fic ideas are extremely interesting omg like the transmigration ljy fic??? fierce corpse jyl??? how do you come up with them give me your brain and your writing skills

BUT ALSO

not only is your fic writing amazing and what I aim for, you’re also a really, genuinely nice person??? I thought you were way older at first because of how matured you seem but no apparently you’re like the same age as me we’re smol

I always love coming online and seeing you and how we both just greet each other with a ton of hearts it always just brings a smile on my face, and I know that if I feel bad I can always just come to you and talk it all because that’s how supportive and sweet you are!!!

I have to be honest, at first, I didn’t really know who you were and we basically didn’t talk at all, until some point when we started calling each by name, talking more, and bam ily kimmm

I REALLY ENJOY OUR FANDOM TALK!!! crying over beefleaf (beefleaf!!!), talking about tgcf (I just love tgcf okay) and yes, You Will Fall For Junmei Too I can’t believe you go through my blog for spoilers buT MAN IM RIGHT HERE YOU CAN ASK ME DIRECTLY ;DDD

BACK TO THE SERVER!!! you’re a beacon of positivity and I love our nonsense in the server, even if we may not see each other too much (damn time zones) I still enjoy especially when a fresh meat joins the server, fresh edits are spammed, and you’re just there trying your best HAHAHAH you’re so pure and you never join in which is a definite blessing

okay yeah I’m going in circles trying to come up with stuff that I haven’t already said in my emo letter (which I already forgot what I wrote) BUT IN CONCLUSION!!

I’m really, really thankful to you for being a part of my life, and I hope that even if my year gets busier (it definitely will) and I may not be able to come on discord more, I’ll still find some time to be able to chat with you

wait a min you created jeye? watch out tomorrow

anyways I’m going back to reading your fic, bye!!

J-Y (not jeye or jai or whatever)

[pope-francis-quotes]

1st June >> (@ZenitEnglish) #Pope Francis #PopeFrancis Address at Marian Meeting with Young People and Families in Iasi, Romania (Full Text) #PopeFrancis #PopeinRomania

In Square in Front of Palace of Culture

Following is the full text of the address Pope Francis gave on June 1, 2019, at his Marian Meeting with Young People and Families in Iasi, on the second day of his apostolic journey to Romania from May 31-June2.

******

Dear Brothers and Sisters, bună seara!

Here with you, I feel the warmth being at home and part of a family, surrounded by young and old alike. In your presence and looking out at you, it is easy to feel at home. The Pope feels at home here with you. Thank you for your warm welcome and for your testimonies. Bishop Petru, good strong father that he is, included all of you in his introduction. And you, Eduard, confirmed this when you told us that this meeting was not simply for young people or adults, but that you “wanted our parents and grandparents to be with us tonight”.

Today is Children’s Day in Romania – let’s greet them with a round of applause! The first thing I would like us to do is to pray for them, asking the Blessed Virgin to shelter them under her mantle. Jesus placed children in the midst of his Apostles; we too want to put them at the center. We want to reaffirm our commitment to love them with the same love with which the Lord loves them and to make every effort to ensure their right to a future.

I am happy to know that here in this Square we see the face of God’s family, which is made up of children, young people, married couples, consecrated men and women, elderly Romanians from different regions and traditions, and others from Moldova. There are also those who came from the other side of the river Prut and who speak Csango, Polish and Russian. The Holy Spirit has called us here and he helps us discover the beauty of being together, of being able to meet to journey together. Each of you has his or her own language and traditions, but you are happy to be here with others, with the happiness shared by Elisabeta and Ioan and their eleven children. All of you are different, you come from different places, yet “today everyone is gathered, together, just as on every Sunday morning in the old days, when everyone went to Church together”. The happiness of parents seeing their children gathered around them. Surely, today there is joy in heaven at the sight of all these children who have wanted to be together.

This is the experience of a new Pentecost (as we heard in the reading), where the Spirit embraces our differences and gives us the strength to open up paths of hope by bringing out the best in each person. It is the same path taken by the Apostles two thousand years ago. Today we are called to take their place and encouraged to be sowers of good seed. We cannot wait for others to do this; it is up to us.

Journeying together is not easy, is it? It is a gift that we have to ask for. A work of art for us to create, a beautiful gift for us to hand on. But where do we start?

I would like to take up a point made by our elderly couple, Elisabeta and Ioan. It is good to see when love sinks deep roots through sacrifice and commitment, work and prayer. Love took root in the two of you and it has borne rich fruit. As the prophet Joel says, when young and old meet, the elderly are not afraid to dream (cf. 2:28 [3:1]). This was your dream: “We dream that they may build a future without forgetting where they came from. We dream that none of our people will forget their roots”. You look to the future and you open the door to it for your children, your grandchildren, and your people by offering them the best lesson that you learned from your own journey: never forget where you come from. Wherever you go and whatever you do, don’t forget your roots. It is the same dream, the same advice that Saint Paul gave to Timothy: to keep alive the faith of his mother and grandmother (cf. 2 Tim 1:5-7). As you continue to grow in every way – stronger, older and even in importance – do not forget the most beautiful and worthwhile lesson you learned at home. It is the wisdom that comes from age. When you grow up, do not forget your mother and your grandmother, and the simple but robust faith that gave them the strength and tenacity to keep going and not to give up. It is a reason for you to give thanks and to ask for the generosity, courage, and selflessness of a “home-grown” faith that is unobtrusive, yet slowly but surely builds up the Kingdom of God.

Certainly, a faith that does not show up on the stock exchange, or “sell”, may not appear, as Eduard reminded us, to “be of much use”. Faith, however, is a gift that keeps alive a profound and beautiful certainty: that we are God’s beloved children. God loves with a Father’s love. Every life and every one of us belongs to him. We belong as children, but also as grandchildren, spouses, grandparents, friends, neighbors; we belong as brothers and sisters. The Evil one divides, scatters, separates; he sows discord and distrust. He wants us to live “detached” from others and from ourselves. The Spirit, on the contrary, reminds us that we are not anonymous, abstract, faceless beings, without history or identity. We are not meant to be empty or superficial. There is a very strong spiritual network that unites us; one that “connects” and sustains us, and is stronger than any other type of connection. It is roots: the realization that we belong to one another, that each of our lives is anchored in the lives of others. “Young people flourish when they are truly loved”, Eduard said. We all flourish when we feel loved. Because love draws us out of ourselves and invites us to take root in the lives of others. It is like those beautiful words of your national poet, whose fond wish for your sweet Romania was that “your children might live only in fraternity, like the stars of the night” (M. EMINESCU, What I Wish for You, Sweet Romania). We belong to each other and our happiness is meant to make others happy. Everything else is nonsense.

To journey together, wherever you may be, never forget what you learned at home.

This reminds me of the prophecy of one of the holy hermits of these lands. One day, the monk Galaction Ilie of Sihăstria Monastery was walking among sheep grazing on a mountainside when he met a saintly hermit whom he knew. He asked him: Tell me, Father, when will the world end? And the venerable hermit, with a deep sigh, replied: Father Galaction, do you want to know when the world will end? When there are no more paths between neighbors! That is, when there is no more Christian love and understanding between brothers and sisters, relatives, Christians and between peoples! When persons lose all their love, then it will truly be the end of the world. Because without love and without God, no one can live on the earth!

Life begins to wilt and droop, our hearts stop beating and wither, the elderly no longer dream and young people no longer prophesy when pathways between neighbors disappear… Because without love and without God, no one can live on the earth.

Eduard told us that, like many others in his town, he tried to practice the faith amid numerous challenges. Many indeed are the challenges that can discourage us and make us close in on ourselves. We cannot deny it or pretend that it isn’t the case. Difficulties exist and they are evident. But that cannot make us forget that faith itself offers us the greatest challenge of all: a challenge that, far from enclosing or isolating us, can bring out the best in us all. The Lord is the first to challenge us. He tells us that the worst comes when there are no more paths between neighbors when we see more trenches than roads. The Lord is the one who gives us a song more powerful than all the siren songs that would paralyze us on our journey. And he always does it the same way: by singing a more beautiful and challenging song.

The Lord gives us a vocation, a challenge to discover the talents and abilities we possess and to put them at the service of others. He asks us to use our freedom as a freedom to choose, to say yes to a loving plan, to a face, to a look. This is much greater freedom than simply being able to consume and buy things. It is a vocation that sets us in motion, makes us fill in trenches and open up new avenues to remind us all that we are children and brothers and sisters to one another.

During the Middle Ages, pilgrims set out together from this historical and cultural capital of your country, following the Via Transylvania on the way to Santiago de Compostela. Today many students from various parts of the world live here. I remember the virtual meeting we had in March (with Scholas Occurentes), where I learned that this year your city would be the national capital of youth. You have two great things here: a city historically known for openness and creativity, and one that can host young people from various parts of the world as it now does. Two things that remind us of the potential and the great mission that can you can carry out: to open up paths for journeying together and pursuing that prophetic vision: without love and without God, no one can live on the earth. Today, from this place, new paths can open up to the future, towards Europe and many other parts of the world. You can be pilgrims of the twenty-first century, capable of imagining afresh the bonds that unite us.

This is less about generating great programs or projects, than about allowing faith to grow. As I mentioned to you at the beginning: faith is not transmitted only by words, but also by gestures, looks, and caresses, like those of our mothers and grandmothers; with the flavor of those things we learned at home in a straightforward and simple way. Where there are hue and din, let us try to listen; where there is confusion, let us inspire harmony; where everything is uncertain and ambiguous, let us bring clarity. Where there is exclusion, let us offer solidarity; in the midst of sensationalism and instant communication, let us be concerned about the integrity of others; where there is aggression, let us bring peace; where there is falsehood, let us bring truth. In everything, let us make it our concern to open up paths that enable a sense of belonging, of being children and brothers and sisters (cf. Message for the 2018 World Day of Social Communications).

Romania is the “garden of the Mother of God”, and in this meeting, I have been able to realize why. Mary is a Mother who encourages her children’s dreams, who cherishes their hopes, who brings joy to their homes. She is a tender and true Mother who cares for us. You are that living, flourishing and hope-filled community that we can offer to our Mother. To her let us consecrate the future of young people, families and the Church. Mulţumesc! [Thank you!] [00957-EN.01] [Original text: Italian]

© Libreria Editrice Vatican

1st JUNE 01, 2019 17:39PAPAL TRIPS

[archiverecombinxnt-blog]

IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN, FOLKS, IT’S PIPER’S/ @worldsavcrBIRTHDAY!

LET’S TALK ABOUT HOW YOU, AS A PERSON:

tolerate me talking about real shitty aus that i abandon like .2 weeks later

except that one really long au i haven’t abandoned yet by some miracle

tolerate me deliberating on a whole lot and actually give good advice

(unlike me. sorry on that one.)

SO TALENTED??!?!?!?! WTF?! YOU’RE A BABY HOW ARE YOU THIS GOOD AT THINGS

WHAT A CUTIE!!!!! OMG!!!!! UR FACE MAKES FOR PRIME SELFIES/PHOTOS/VIDEOS! AMAZING!

SO SMART, GONNA DO SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME IN COLLEGE

WRITING ISN’T EVEN YOUR PRIME AREA OF FOCUS??????????? AND YET YOU STILL PUT SO MUCH LOVE AND TIME AND TALENT INTO IT?! AMAZING

so goOD AT PUTTING ME INTO A BETTER MOOD ON A HARD DAY

SUCH A SASS, SUCH A SARCASM, PRIME COMEBACKS FOR DAYS

BETTER ADULT THAN I AM AND I AM IN COLLEGE

THE SALT

READY TO FITE™

IS BETTER AT WRITING MY OWN SHITTY AUS THAN I AM? THAT INTRO??? 

HAS STUCK WITH MAXIMUM RIDE THROUGH THE DUMPSTER FIRE OF CANON™

SO TALENTED IN PHOTOSHOP I CRY I WEEP I WANT YOUR ABILITIES JUST TRANSFER THEM RIGHT ON OVER

SO PURE, SO GOOD, SUCH AN AMAZING PURE FRIEND

YOUR CHARACTERS

I DON’T EVEN WATCH THE FLASH AND YET BARRY IS NOW MY SON??? JUST FROM READING THE WAY YOU WRITE HIM??????

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL RAY OF SUNSHINE! I WAS INTRODUCED TO HIM BC I WANTED TO READ ALL OF YOUR WRITING! ALL OF IT AND NOW I’M IN SO DEEP

STILL HAVEN’T WATCHED THE SHOW YET. SORRY.

BUT YOU WRITE HIM SO KINDLY AND SO BRIGHTLY AND I JUST? CRY

I NOW KNOW BASIC FLASH STORYLINES BC OF YOU, THANK YOU

ANY VAGUELY ANGSTY THING YOU WRITE WITH HIM IN IT? CRYING

I THINK OF YOU ANY TIME I SEE GRANT GUSTIN AND WONDER ON YOUR OPNIONS OF VARIOUS FLASH STORYLINE how’s that gorilla thing going huh. you laughed at the 100 for having it. how does it feel. i bet pauna and grodd are, like, distantly related cousins. then again pauna’s several hundred years into the future. maybe she’s his great-granddaughter. i’m talking too much about fictional gorillas let’s get back to barry

SO SOFT, SO ROMANTIC, SO LOVELY AND AMAZING

THE FLASH! SO COOL! SO AESTHETIC! SO HEARTBREAKING TBH

WHAT A PURE AND GOOD HERO, TRULY ATTEMPTING TO SAVE THE PEOPLE, WHICH BRINGS ME TOOOO

HOLLY!!! OVERACCOMPLISHED DOCTOR!!! THE BROOD AND THE ANGST IN COMPLEMENT TO THE SUNSHINE AND THE BRIGHTNESS

YOU CAME UP WITH AN ORIGINAL SUPERHERO THAT ISN’T BASED ON SHITTY PUNS, rip hurricane and expundable 

SUCH A COMPLEX AND INTRIGUING BACKSTORY

LOVES HER BABY SISTER SO MUCH DO NOT HURT HER OR I SWEAR TO GOD I’M FLYING DOWN TO SEE YOU AND I WILL PUNCH YOU BEFORE I HUG YOU FOR BEING MY FRIEND BUT THEN I WILL PUNCH YOU AGAIN softly bc i don’t want to hurt you it’s to prove a point shut up

SO MANY INDEPENDENT AND CREATIVE AND UNIQUE CHARACTERS ADDED IN ALONG WITH HOLLY’S STORY? ASHTON? AN IDOL

THE MORAL CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND BARRY! THE PROTECTIVE ATTITUDE SHE HAS OVER THOSE WHO ARE CLOSE TO HER! THE WAY SHE IS SO WILLING TO GO SO FAR TO PROTECT THEM!

SO MANY TRAGIC BITS AND PIECES TO HER LIFE?! HER POWER? HER CHILDREN? HER EVENTUAL PLOTLINE? HER DEATH? HOW THE FUCK

SUCH AMAZING PLOTTING GOES INTO HER AND SO MUCH CARE FOR HER STORY AND I LOVE IT

I GET SO OVERWHELMED THINKING OF THINGS TO WRITE ABOUT HER BC SHE’S SO IMPORTANT AND I LOVE HER AND SHE’S YOUR CREATION SO BASICALLY I AM HONOR BOUND TO LOVE HER BUT ALSO I LOVE HER BECAUSE SHE’S HOLLY DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE

TESS! SO PURE AND SOFT AND LOVING! SO MUCH SHIT SHE HAS GONE THROUGH

I DO NOT KNOW HER AS WELL AS I’D LIKE PLEASE WRITE HER MORE, I LOVE HER TRULY

SO SOFT, SO SMOL, SO STRONG

SUCH AN AESTHETIC™

SO SMART, SO INTELLIGENT

EVERYTHING YOU TO TO HER HURTS ME SO MUCH BUT IT’S SO GOOD

THE MACHINE THING? IT SHATTERED ME. I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY

THE FALL?!?!?!?!?!?! SUCH A CINEMATIC THOUGHT PROCESS. HOLY SHIT. I GET LIKE STRAIGHT UP VISIONS OF THIS AND I GET SO OVERWHELMED

THE WAY HER STORY ENDS. HEARTBREAKING. WHY DO THIS. PLEASE MAKE HER HAPPY.

SUCH A GOOD SUCH A STRONG TELL ME MORE TELL ME MORE THEME FROM GREASE PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND

YOUR OCS YOU HAVE TOLD ME ABOUT?! HOW ARE YOUR OCS BETTER THAN THE CANON CHARACTERS I ATTEMPTED TO WRITE AT THE SAME AGE?! WHAT KIND OF WRITING MASTER ARE YOU?!?!?!?!!?

OUR TRASH FIGHT DAUGHTER™

WE HAVE SHARED CUSTODY OF HER OVER A GREAT NUMBER OF YEARS, PROBABLY LIKE 2 MAYBE 3 POTENTIALLY 4 OH GOD I’M SO OLD

SORRY I HURT HER SO MUCH, EXCEPT NOT REALLY, YOU TALK ME INTO A LOT OF IT DON’T DENY IT

HAVE SUCH A PURE AND INNATE GRASP OF HER SASS AND MOTIVATIONS AND WORDS AND I CRY???????????

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH YOU INTIMATED ME WHEN WE FIRST STARTED TALKING. DO YOU. YOU WERE SO GOOD AT WRITING HER AND THERE I WAS USING SOMEONE ELSE’S ICONS AND THERE YOU WERE, SO GOOD AND SO COOL AND SO FUNNY?! AND YOU MESSAGED ME!?!?!?!? I WAS SO SHOOK™?!?! AND NOW HERE WE ARE?!

IT’S BEEN OVER A YEAR OF US TALKING VIA SKYPE AND OVER A YEAR AND A HALF OF US INTERACTING ON TUMBLR, ALL BECAUSE OF THIS DUMPSTER FIRE OF A STORY

TRULY THE DEVOTION WE HAVE SHOWED HER EVEN THROUGH THE NONSENSICAL ACID TRIP OF CANON? AMAZING

TO THINK WE STARTED OFF WITH ATTEMPTING TO REPAIR THE ACID TRIP AND NOW HERE WE ARE, TALKING AUS TO STRAIGHT UP TAKE HER AWAY FROM THE ACID TRIP, THINKING ABOUT HER AS A CHARACTER AND PUTTING HER INTO ALL THESE INTERESTING SITUATIONS

TRULY WE ARE EXCAVATING HER FROM THE TRASH™

YOU AS A PERSON AGAIN, BECAUSE YOU’RE AWESOME, ALSO BIRTH

TO OUR FRIENDSHIP

seriously do you know how shook i was that you had reached out to become friends with me you were so amazing and there i was sitting there a mess and there you were so good so great so truly spectacular with organized tags and a strong aesthetic and everything i’m literally still shook every time i get the little skype noise

AND THEN SKYPE! AND WE TALKED SO MUCH MORE OFTEN! I WAS STILL SO SHOOK! YOU WERE MY FIRST REAL ONLINE FRIEND!!!!!!!! AND DEFINITELY THE ONE I’VE KEPT IN TOUCH WITH THE LONGEST/MOST

TRULY BRIGHTENS MY DAY WHEN WE TALK AND YOU’VE HELPED MAKE THE TRANSITION INTO COLLEGE SO MUCH EASIER BC YOU ARE MY POCKET FRIEND AND VIRTUAL HUGS WHEN I NEED THEM AND LAUGHS WHEN I NEED THEM AND DISCUSSIONS OF FICTION WHEN I NEED THAT TOO

AND NOW SNAPCHAT! I GET TO SEE UR CUTE HAPPY FACE (most of the time happy) A LOT AND IT’S SO GREAT

AND WE ARE SUCH FRIENDS AND FRIEND GOALS AND I DID ACTUALLY CONSIDER WRITING AN ONLINE AU FOR FRIENDS BASED ON OUR FRIENDSHIPS BUT I ABANDONED THE IDEA BC THAT IS WHAT I DO WITH 90% OF AUS

TRULY AMAZING WONDERFUL

ILY SO MUCH, YOU BRIGHTEN MY DAY EVERY DAY, I HOPE YOU HAD A WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY EVEN THOUGH WE’RE BOTH EXPERIENCING THAT THING AND ALSO YOU ARE MESSAGING ME ABOUT GODSPELL AS I TYPE AND I HOPE THIS CHEERS YOU UP FROM THE EMOTIONAL WRECKAGE