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garetlomodag · 5 months

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2024 March & April: God encounters, but make it overseas

Mabuhay! How have you been? It’s been a while. I didn’t get enough time to finish my writeup for the month of March, so I decided to just merge it with April. A lot of things happened in the last month but mostly great and memorable things!!!

To name a few, I visited Mindanao in Cagayan de Oro and Bukidnon (always proud of my Mindanaoan roots!) for work, then I went to Dubai for my best friend's wedding, got to see a desert, ate great middle-eastern food, did a speaking engagement for work, and now I am here at Vancouver’s terminal M airport for my connecting flight to Toronto for work!

What a jam packed March and April right? I have to say while it seemed like it’s physically tiring, my trip to Dubai was very chill and enjoyable. I was so relaxed my body recalibrated to its old timings (eg monthly cycle, sorry #TMI). I did gain a few pounds LOL but it was accumulated from past weeks’ work events in Visayas and Mindanao to traveling to Dubai; now to Canada.

I also did recovery workouts in betweens, but only to sustain my body. I have a tendency to crash when I’m over fatigued, so I made sure I got my sweat times too LOL

Everything flew by so fast, but I did note some takeaways.

1. Having a community is critical in your different life seasons, but also having friendships over the years is a blessing. I know it already, but I realized how it impacted my life when I did my speech at my best friend's wedding. Not everyone gets a chance to journey with friends for a long time. Although it doesn't mean you cannot find and build great ones even at a short time. I am thankful God picked people in my life to witness some of my major milestones and life stages, and vice versa.

I remembered this verse about who your friends are reflect who you become:

“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” Proverbs 13:20 NIV

Now I want to ask, who are your friends? Are you still tightly connected with your family? Who are the voices you listen to when you’re making decisions? Who gives you advice when you’re feeling down? If at this point you realize you actually don’t have one, I hope and pray you find comfort in God and that God also grant you with a good crew <3

2. Breaking off generational cycles and expectations can feel both liberating and guilting. Especially if you are forging paths different from what your family and loved ones once took. This also means thinking differently and choosing decisions that are unconventional. I’ve been single for most of my young adult life and I can say I’ve been living way way unconventional than what was expected of me. But I’d say sometimes I also wonder if I’m being too unconventional. Most days I would pray for guidance so I could be firm with my decisions even if it meant it would offend some people I love and care for.

3. God is involved, even in the tiniest details of our lives. This is no news if you’ve been seeing my IG stories. I had a suspense-filled visa processing for my Canada trip. Just to share what happened, my passport was only handed over to our company travel agency when I got back from my Dubai trip. This meant I only had 2 weeks of business days to have it approved, stamped, and released. I cannot stress enough how anxious I was with the whole thing. I was even mixing dreams and reality already. All this + I couldn’t tell anyone else at work what was happening because it was not sure yet. But wow at God for unveiling each step with miracles I cannot enumerate anymore. From travel agents booking ahead, to opening up flight slots at a fully booked flight the night before my target schedule, and to getting my visa on the day of the flight.

Headwinds still come, especially when you think everything is already settled. At this time I am already writing from the airport lounge (Thank You God for business lounge privileges <3) going back to the PH. Yes, my Canada trip is done! But can you believe the worst headwinds were there? Hate to say that it was an extremely bad feeling. I was only sustained by God’s grace the whole time. It was so difficult powering through the learning sessions while facing people-headwinds. I did not like every bit of it. You probably saw some of my stories about it, and I cannot highlight enough how hard it was. But I super like the Bison Storm analogy.

“When storms approach, they never run away from them. They run directly to and through them head-on. Their time within the storm is, therefore, significantly reduced.” read in full here: https://georgeshamblin.com/a-lesson-from-bison-running-to-and-through-the-storm/

It was an easier choice to back down, fold, and just yield to avoid conflict with people-headwinds. But my heart and mind, despite all the turmoil, had the urge to stand ground. I kept waking up at 2-3am for 2-3 days while thinking of it, but used that time to reconnect with God and regain footing. Imagine being away from my support system: my family, my dogs, close friends. Can only thank God for the sustenance.

Two months just flew by so fast. I am in awe of God’s blessings and victories. I am thankful for the best sets of support group, I am thankful for the favor. I can only hope I do better each day and live a life that is pleasing and honoring to God.

‘Til next time, folks. Let’s go, May! Balance of the year looks like it’s going to be filled with risks-taking decisions. Eeeeeeeeeeeyyyy let’s gooo

#love #hope #faith #jesus #journey #life #friendship #prayer #journal

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bonvoyagenoona · 3 years

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yuugehn said 10

if you’re comfortable with sharing, i’d like to know more about your journey~ were you a writer throughout high school? & then come college, decided it was time to put your head down & focus on the super-serious adult-y stuff like school & work?

actually…how did writing become your first love? you mentioned being closed off from your own emotions…did your love for writing start with a journal? what inspired you to start writing fanfiction? & what gave you the courage to start sharing it? i have so many questions lol. but again, only if you’re comfortable sharing.

Hi, friend! I’ve been thinking a lot about writing lately and am always excited to share!

You absolutely hit the nail on the head. I read and wrote a LOT growing up. Yes, journaled a ton. Watched a ton of TV and movies as well. I started writing fanfiction pretty early because I always wanted to extend stories past the page. Writing also became a communal thing; I swapped Backstreet Boys and Harry Potter fanfiction with friends! From there, I organically looked up how to write newsletters and scripts and zines and all sorts of different kinds of works.

I don’t think posting is scary, maybe because I’ve always wanted to share stuff on a large scale. I wanted to go to film school for college, but my parents wouldn’t allow it. I ended up in psychology, which I’m super thankful and wouldn’t trade for anything. I found other ways to scratch the writing itch, like always choosing to do videos for presentations, and writing scripts for my friends to act out. But to build my career, I had to focus on grad school and work. I ended up compartmentalizing in order to have that focus. Now, I’m luckily in a spot where I can devote a little more time to hobbies, and getting into BTS was such an immersive process that I felt inspired all over again!

i think your bts story is just so wonderful – i’m truly grateful to them not only for saving me from my grief last year (in fact, i sent them a thank you card…where it actually ended up, i’ll never know), but also for waking you up(!) & motivating you to get back in touch with you. otherwise, we wouldn’t get to experience your talent as a writer, & that would’ve been lamentable.

You are way, way, wayyyy too kind! I’m so glad that BTS was able to bring us both energy and comfort in ways that we needed it. And that they continue to do so, through entertaining and inspiring us. I’d like to believe that they received your thank you card and treasure it deeply, maybe even reflecting on your message and similar ones from ARMY when times get tough for them, too. In fact, I’ve decided that’s what happened, and no one can say otherwise. 💜

“so much to ponder.” well if this isn’t me in a nutshell haha. i came across a video today of emma watson sharing her thoughts in an interview about why we make turning 30 such a big deal – she said that there is a lot of pressure to achieve major “milestones” by 30 (have a stable career, get married, buy a home, have a kid, you get it).

I SAW THAT EMMA WATSON VIDEO RECENTLY AS WELL! It was on ig, yes? And I so relate! It’s been so hard to talk to friends about this, mostly because they’ve stayed on that track to certain milestones. I was telling Roomie / @mochilatae today that I just don’t see those milestones in front of me, and even though I don’t want those milestones, it has still been a bit of an un-learning / mourning process to let those expectations go.

& i think we do go through that phase where it’s like oh shit, oh shit, i gotta get my shit together. maybe we focus so hard on future security that we forget about what makes us happy in the present? until something wakes us, whether it’s loss or bts or alone time in a pandemic, a combination of these things or something else entirely…like hello, you don’t live in the future, you live in the now & now is really all you have…

You’re so right about this! Living in the present and coming out of the other side of the un-learning has brought so much joy. Those tricky expectations. Helpful when setting goals, but life isn’t always about setting goals. It’s about living.

so much to ponder over this one life we’re given. when i die, my ultimate, fervent wish is to know the truth of everything. like the ravenclaw i am.

OK, yep, we’re buds. Also a Ravenclaw. And now, I picture us having these conversations in the common room! I feel you on this. If your fervent wish is to know the truth, my fervent wish is to get to experience a little bit of everything, and to share my thoughts about them. Cool to connect with someone over that kind of hunger!

i’m not sure what time zone you’re in but i’m on pt & it’s 10:49pm here & i hope you had a lovely day full of lovely ponderings~ p.s. i have a 2.5” thicc book called “the secret language of birthdays” & it has a profile for every. single. birth. day…it’s just great. xd

I have had a busy week, but today has been a wonderful day of pondering, with a perfect nightcap of reading your lovely messages. I’m in US central time, and it’s 12:41 AM, and I’m very glad to imagine you on the west coast nearly hitting the same time as when you sent this message, hopefully unwinding for a perfect Saturday night. Sending you smiles and wishes for wonderful dreams!

#yuugehn said #asks #your asks #yuugehn #ah friend this was such a good one #i feel like we relate on a lot of things and it just felt good to get to chat with someone about it!

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animatedminds · 3 years

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Star Wars: Visions - Episode 5: The Ninth Jedi

Here we go. The one everyone’s talking about. The one reviewer tend to agree is one of the series’ best, if not the best.

This one is another one that’s almost impossible to talk about without SPOILERS. I’ll try to keep it to a minimum, but SPOILERS just in case. We are, of course, talking about...

Episode 5: The Ninth Jedi Developed By: Production IG Directed By: Kenji Kamiyana

The first short to have intro narration, in a style clearly meant to audibly call to mind the narrative text that opens most Star Wars films. And this drop of classical Star Wars reminiscence sets the stage for the whole

Set in an indeterminate period where the Jedi are all but extinct and have been for “generations,” no one has seen a lightsaber in many people’s living memory, and the Sith run rampant hunting down any resistance to their rule, an elusive recluse sends a message out to the galaxy for any Jedi still able to hear: come to his star system, and he will provide you with that weapon from a more civilized time, in an effort to rebuild the Jedi Order.

The status quo for the Jedi here are interesting. They exist, but are scattered, and the initial focus character assumes that any Jedi he meets would be master-less and self taught. They desperately need the skills of a smith who can make lightsabers, desperately need the unity that this recluse - known as The Margrave - offers, and so assemble at his doorstep even though they know it could easily be a trap. The last arrival, Ethan, is an bright eyed youth who is eager to find solidarity, but the wait will be long.

Meanwhile, the saber smith and his daughter just about finish the last touches on the order of lightsabers for the Margrave. His chipper daughter, whose connection to the force is starting to develop, is happy to take the order to their employer when suddenly a group of dark, mysterious strangers arrive asking questions...

This is a great set up for a great narrative. It’s a strong story that is going to be a point of reference for me as a writer in the future, on how to write misdirections and fakeouts without taking away from the narrative experience: twists run the real risk of taking the audience out of the experience, especially when they’re twists just for the sake of having them, which can make people give the concept a bum wrap it doesn’t inherently deserve. This story is proof positive that twists are not a bad thing, as the story is all about misdirection but executes this in a way where every shocking serve feels like a turn you have already been prepared for, just didn’t know about yet, another thread that needs to weave into the story for it to feel complete: You think the meat of the story is going to be with those Jedi waiting for the Margrave, but then the plot instead centers around the sabers and the daughter’s desperate attempt to deliver them as the Jedi Hunters attack - because of course, these are the very things they are waiting for, not the Margrave itself. You start to realize that some of the assembled Jedi are not who they seem (there’s one in particular, who is so obviously going to be a twist villain that you can imagine Kamiyama’s tongue well in cheek when designing him), while our host - the Margrave - features a lot of traditionally “evil” design traits (not the least being glowing red eyes), but he starts to clearly be shown to be what we initially expect him to be, and the enormity of the answer to “where are the Sith” manages to be shocking even if you were genre savvy enough to be catching on. The character you think might be the protagonists aren’t, and the ones you think might be the antagonists are really your last hope.

And that’s not even getting into the visuals. Lightsabers are portrayed even more as an extension of the characters’ wielding it, in a way I liked a lot better than the “Anakin’s saber is Excalibur” idea from the ST. Not just the color, but the glow and visual presence of a lightsaber directly ties to the characters’ sense of purpose, there’s a point where the color of a character’s saber changes mid-fight as they finally find their resolve: it’s a beautiful visual representation. The fight at the end is a delight as well. Probably the most violent scrap since The Duel (though not as hardcore as that), while there’s no blood characters do get visibly chopped up and burned in this one, and the battle feels all the more ruthless for it. The Sith are interesting here - they outnumber our heroes, yet by the end of it they almost feel like the underdogs, only able to watch as their fully pissed off opponent executes their allies one by one. But the fact that others in the fight are much less experienced, and the fact that we know the Sith have done one particularly nasty thing over the course of the plot, keeps the sympathy away from them for much of it.

This, like The Twins, is another that intentionally and wholly adopts a classic Star Wars trope - though unlike that it is not a short built on being entirely referential and tributary, but rather it’s own crafted narrative. Still, the Jedi must always be underdogs. They must always be hunted, always be seeking out ways to bring peace back to a lost galaxy. But the implication here that they are building something where there was one nothing gives this take on the idea a strength and permanence that I very much enjoyed: rather than another story about a ragtag band of Jedi, this felt like I was watching the beginning of something. As I said, the time frame is indeterminate, but I could almost see this as the beginning of the old Jedi Order as we know it.

This was definitely a wonderful episode, and among my favorites. It had I think the best ensemble of protagonists thus far: not that the protagonists previously were poor, but as I noted in my Tatooine Rhapsody review, once you get off of the main protag in some of the shorts the supporting characters drop off some (though the previous episode, The Village Bride, was also great with minor character characterization). Here, everyone - even the Sith - get at least a little characterization to endear them, and all the main characters are well defined and endearing. I could easily see more of any of these characters. Heck, I’d even watch a series just about the pilot droid that’s only in there for a very rare spot of humor. Great episode, is what I’m saying. And lastly, as I always do, I’m going to look at this one additionally in terms of canon potential. All of the Visions short films are noncanon, but like with many studio or franchise if there is enough support (and if they actually fit into the setting) for any of these characters there is always a chance that the studio could choose to revisit them and officially incorporate them. But with that in mind, I’m going to look whether this does actually fit into the setting.

Reminding the reader that this is a wholly separate question from “how amazing is this episode” (for which the answer is “very.”), I’d only give this one maybe Okay Chances, but more likely Not So Good Chances. The premise of this one necessarily requires a very major status quo: that of a period where the Sith take over the galaxy and the Jedi are nigh wiped out. This means that this would either have to set in stone a big part of the backstory of the series, or hard-set the far future of the series, both things that LucasFilm very likely doesn’t want rigidly defined. You might have heard of the KOTOR remake by now: that’s not confirmed canon and probably won’t be, and I’ve been presuming that its for the same reason: they don’t want to definitively say “this is how it all started” right now, and even moreso they definitely won’t want to say “this is what eventually happens” either. The concept would have to wait in the wings for when a time comes that they have an idea in mind that they can incorporate it into. But that doesn’t diminish the experience of watching this for the first time. Heck, the final shot of the short - a visual assurance that the will and power of the Jedi is never going anywhere - that’s still giving me goosebumps. And it makes me wish I had a lightsaber of my own...

#star wars: visions #star wars anime #disney+#the ninth jedi #Production IG #kenji kamiyama #ethan #margrave juro #lah kara #tired pilot droid is best droid #sci fi anime #star wars #Animated Minds for Animated Times #great episode #not so good chances

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thisdreamplace · 3 years

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I had a nasty fight with my former bff. This was long ago. She did the whole 'boycotting me' thing at school and afterwards had a mutual friend pass her msg to me, saying "tell her [me] to get it into her skull that she's not the center of the world, who does she think she is? Stop acting like a #" Im simplifying the words, her actual words were nastier

I got thinking today abt this fight, and her comment abt me that is still way too fresh in my mind even tho I hadn't recalled it in 2-3 yrs!, and I actually decided to use the law to revise my friendship to feel better as what happened after the fight was shameful on my part. But before I knew it, I started rmmbring my relationship with her. How I became a total victim. Got so stuck on her validation, begged her to be friends with me (after I got the degrading msg. 🤕 silly me w/o a backbone lol) and stayed her 'bestie' for way too long. Only after it's all over im noticing smth messed up abt out 'feiendship'. It wasnf that normal I think. She would get so pissed if I did anything that went against her thoughts/beliefs/way (which is why she called me a selfish # that major fight). It was so subtle the way she showed her disapproval. To her, if I did anything not aligned with her, or even makih decisions on my own which didn't involve her, it was wrong. And had consequences like her beinf distant for days etc, or getting angry if I didn't mind read her bla bla, I just had to keep her at the top 24/7 and she expected everyone else to do the same... which I thought was normal... It wasnt. And what would be even more crazy is she never realized how that meant she always wanted the attention. That she always wanted it her way! It just makes me feel... Sad.... When I look back. How couldn't I have notived it before? I used to be strong headed, opinionated before I became 'besties' with her.. That all has changed. I wonder why -_-

It may be dumb on my part but with the weak mind and insecurity I had then, I took that fight/her reaction to the heart and internalisef this stupidiy (DENY MYSELF if the other alternative was denying HER. I didn't think it was wrong. For the oldme, it really wasn't wrong smh). Aaah I'm so sorry old me :(

This fight started bcoz she asked me for smth and I refused, instead of relenting like I always would, and I see now that her reaction (to me not being an obedient # to her ig?🤢) was basically her setting rules. It was wrong of me to refuse, yes, but why did she react that way? Why did this pattern continue? That everyone was selfish if they didn't think of her ;_; like how do u deal with this? And the icing is when I too started to defend her and make excuses for her all the time. And ik I'm making her out to be so strong, don't worry... I accept the strong only rule when the weak submit. And I was weak as hell, so its understandable this whole thing. I think 😅

Idk. I seen your posts abt eyipo with other anons so i hope u can tell me figure out what this was. Its clear to me she was projecting smth about me, and mb throughout our whole friendship she was projecting me. And I would think it was her hurting me, that she was right and I was wrong or maybe I did smth wrong. Mb I thought I deserved being punished that way?!

Today I suddenly had an aha moment and I realised... this is how a victim thinks. I didn't know I was a victim when I was living that stoey aka thought I was powerless. When in fact I really wasn't?! Haha still accepting I 555% created ALL that. The law can knock you out haha

Enough old story I just want to ask, what du u think the msg she sent to me was? Did I really deserve such a reaction (did I mention she included other girls in the boycot? 🤢) just for standing up for myself? What about the whole 'fight' aka showcase of power? And the entire yrs of being friends why did I never realize I was only hurting myself so much by putting her before me? And also, with the everyone pushed out thing, how did it fit in? Like why the hell did I give her too much power in validating me by giving in after the fight in the first place?, and while I did have some fun times (saying this so anyone else who reads this doesn't think it was pure torture lol. We had some common interests tyat no one else in the class shared when we first became 'friends'), deep down I was so unhappy so why didn't this reflect on her? I mean why didn't she ever sense just how much she'd hurt me, why didn't she see how much I put on the back burner coz of her?! Was it as she saw it as her right? I'm just so confused

This is still a bitter pill to swallow tbh but I have to face this in order to move on. This person and my life with her has left me wit many scars and I got to understand how I did this so I never attract such a person in my life again. Its not even abt bejnf a victim. As I said, these victimy things were subtle and I only noted them when it was too late and I was a shell, like she getting super pissed and disapproving if I had a differing opinion and me blowijg it out of proportion and tailoring my views or not expressing them so as to not feel the disapproval...thanks boycott conditioning ig? 😭 Aaaah even talking agaunst her rn is making me uncomfortable. Which makes me think I still am scared of her subconsciously even tho she's no longer in my life. Like, what in me made me choose her? I haven't healed, obviously by this ask as u can tell, but idk what is it in my self concept that had this whole thing in my past even happen

My friend, I also want to say I think you're a beautiful soul 🥺. And im sorry for the long ask lol. And I pray you'll always have all your desires. And plz, was it hard for u at first when u learned about u creating everything? The good, the bad, and the repulsive (like this story)? How did u get over old stories? Ty ty ty 😭

To begin with you're being really harsh on yourself. Like, I know it's hard, but it's never that serious. And trust me, this is something I have to remind myself of regularly. Because there have definitely been moments in life where I look back on myself in that moment, and I feel like I was pathetic and would slap myself if I could. But the truth is, there's just no need for any of that. We always did the best we could. We always did, period. We couldn't have done anything differently and this will continue to be true our entire lives. Looking back on the past with such overwhelming feelings, is really not needed. I get looking back to learn from it, but practice coming from a place of love and acceptance instead. It will help you grow, rather than get stuck back in this cycle of self-hate and confusion. Plus, you actually never need to analyze the past to grow but that's beyond the point right now.

To me, by reading your ask, the message she sent to you was clear. You feel you deserve less in life, you feel you're not good enough, you feel like a victim to life and others, you feel like you're not empowered or the operant power of your reality. It's not about her being wrong and you being right, and I get this is one of the hardest pills to swallow. Everyone is you pushed out. Therefore, there's simply no such thing as who is right and who is wrong anymore. It was only ever you.

When it comes to everyone is you pushed out, you have to understand this person isn't this way because that's who they are. They were that way because that's who you were. Inside of you, you brought their character to life. Therefore, the same way you are not stuck to such an undesirable self concept, neither is that person. It's not that you chose her and attracted her in. You were just dealing with yourself. That's what I hope you walk away from this response understanding. Because by thinking she was outside of you, you're missing the mark. And this is such an important concept to understand when it comes to the law of assumption, because it's really at the forefront of everything. People play such a huge role in our lives, whether it's relationships, jobs, opportunities, etc etc. So understanding how everyone is you pushed out actually works is extremely important.

So instead of putting all this blame on her or even putting the blame on yourself, all these memories really do is give you a glimpse into who you were at the time. It shows you the beliefs you held about yourself. It shows you what your self concept was. That's all it's doing. So in that way, there's actually no one to blame at all. I know it feels good to put blame, even when it's on yourself, but the truth is there's no room for blame when you learn about the law. You simply take responsibility and become empowered by the power you have held this entire time. And you practice making it work in your favor.

If you want to see how something was apart of your self concept, all you have to do is pay attention to what you are thinking/feeling. Shame, not being good enough, etc etc is all just stories you once held onto. Now you don't have to hold onto those stories anymore. Now that you know the power you hold, you get to make a new decision for yourself. Rather than ruminating of the painful past, allow it to be and know how that's not your story anymore.

Was it difficult for me to accept how I created everything? Yes and no. It's been a journey. While I could accept it logically, emotionally it was still very painful. Many times I wanted to cry and lash out when I felt alone and felt upset that no one was there for me. Although, I knew deep down it appeared that way because of my own concept of self. So yeah, it's been a journey. And it's honestly not always delightful. But this is the journey we have to take for the rest of our lives, so we might as well get used to practicing and applying these concepts. Instead of continuing to hold ourselves in such painful lights. I got through old stories, and I continue to get through old stories, by feeling all the pain that came up. By allowing myself to cry and feel however I felt like during those times. And in the back of my mind I knew I was getting stronger in my power. I knew how I would keep persisting once the pain subsided. And little by little, old stories fade more and more. That persistence to continue choosing better for yourself, is truly more powerful than it may seem in a difficult moment. Have trust in how it's all working out for you regardless.

Hopefully this is helpful! Thank you for your kind words. 💖

#eiypo

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queenieloveswriting · 4 years

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Little orange bottles

A/N unedited little thing from a while ago, found loads of bits in my notes on my phone read this and though id post it let me know your thoughts ////hella old ngl sounds like shit srry ladsssss xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxTW--Abuse//Blood//Bad thoughs ig sorry not good w warnings sorry if this triggers anhyone

*beep beep beep*

Your alarm rang through the room for what seemed to be the fifth time this morning.It was now 6:30am and school began in two hours unlike the majority of students in kildare county you enjoyed school and, your (only) friend pope definitely made it worthwile.You both loved school,people like his friends jj and John b didn’t like school.

Why are you awake at 6:30 again?....right!

You look over to yourself in your mirror and glance at your schedule sticky taped to the corner;

*DAISYS SCHEDULE*

6:30-wake up

6:45-shower

7:00-get ready

7:20-read

7:50-breakfast/pillz

8:00-head to Heywards

Obeying the list, you hopped into the shower and got yourself prepared for the day, brushing your teeth washing your face and applying a light amount of makeup. A tinted moisturiser, clear mascara and brow gel, In attempt to tame your wild hair you collected into a cute messy ponytail, breaking three hair bands in the possess. Putting your glasses on you choose your outfit, due to the heat you opted for something casual, a blue denim skirt with a black crop top and a oversized blue flannel top covering just to the bottom of you skirt

You went downstairs and packed some fruit into your bag. Opting to take your breakfast as today's lunch, knowing Mrs. Heyward would invite you in for ‘leftovers’ from their breakfast. Shouting goodbye to your mum who was no doubt still in bed exhausted from her night shift.

Running out the door grabbing your phone, headphones and favourite book ‘to kill a mockingbird’. I plugged in my headphones playing my ‘reading playlist’ and read as i walked up to heywards,occasionally looking up so I don’t walk into any unwanted attention. The third time checking your surroundings you realise you made it to popes in record time, because his mom came out ushering you and him in in for ‘leftovers’ .Pope rolled his eyes sending you a silent apology. You didn’t mind though she was more a mother to you than your actual blood.

“Hey nerd "pope greeted you pushing your glasses up your nose

“Hey geek” you replied, slapping his hands away, he pulled you into a quick hug and followed h8im and his mum into the kitchen.

“Whatcha reading this time?”he asked making you laugh slightly “Harper lee my friend” you replied holding up your book as he rolled his eyes “why am I not surprised ,you know the book doesn't change right every time you read it "he asked playfully “I know pope, but it’s a classic and i don’t have enough to get a new book until my shift next week so I’m not complaining “you sassed

“Yeah you're know that I’ve said you can borrow my books anytime “he asked

“Yeah but you won’t let me write notes in the margins pope! "you explained “because what about MY notes “he exclaimed and you both erupted into laughter.God,you're such geeks you mentally sighed.Mrs.Heyward scolded at us both for arguing and gave us some pancakes and fruit.

Mr.Heward barged through the doors shouting about some ‘arrogant snotty kook man’ and turned around shily when he heard you and pope laughing. "daisy hey sweetheart you need me to save you or you alright?” he asked, referring to his wife’s overwhelming mothering. You shook your head quietly declining his offer, smiling you replied “no sir it's fine, "you laughed "Heyward you need any help with deliveries?” you asked hopeful as you needed to buy some things for school. Being a pogue you tended to have to fend yourself, plus it gave you something to do. “Sure do doll, tomorrow morning,7 sharp you’n’my boy can help out and pope make sure you ask that Maybank if he's helping out too, need to know who goes so y'all come back alive”he joked”thank you sir”you shouted as he was halfway out the door.Turning back round to pope “maybank?” you asked, raising your eyebrow hinting you had absolutely no idea who he was talking about,”my friend jj you know the blonde who gets into all the fights i told you about”he answered and you nodded,still searching for an answer ”he's coming tomorrow?” you quizzed “yeah probably,plus i think it's about time you met my friends they all think i made you up”he laughed”c'mon we've gotta eat then go”

As if on queue Mrs Heyward shouted at you from across the hall telling you to eat before it got cold.After scoffing your breakfast down,it was time to leave.After regular smothering from your second mother you left.

“Sorry about them”he mumbled

“It’s fine it’s nice having the whole parents as parents thing you know”you said .Pope knew about your mom not being around or well really a mom.He said you could come round whenever assuring his parents you were just friends,they loved you.

He nodded”you know your welcome whenever”he said and you nodded again

“Yeah but anyways how you feeling today about mrs.spiky hairs test smartass”you joked “we gon ace it y'all ready know her tests are easy”he dragged

“True I’ve got all a’s every time”you smirked

“Yeah same but to be fair even my friend John b could pass them and he didn't know that there were two different there’s until junior year so....”

You laughed “wait I though that jj was the the dumb one”you asked “there both delinquents but gotta love em.I’m brains of the operation anyways it’s my thang ”he sang causing you to laugh at the way he pinched his shirt and pingged it brushing dirt of his shoulders “you should come to the party tonight and meet them if you want?”he asked and you shook your head “i dont know pope,party’s and me aren’t really a good thing you know how my anxiety gets in groups”you said and he nodded “i know it’s fine don’t worry about it but offers there when you want you could even come out just us on the pouge if you wanted “he offered “they really wanna meet me?”you asked “well they wanna meet MY competition “he challenged “not really a competition there bud” you teased patting his shoulder “but I’ll think about it yeah?”you offered “sounds good and here we are” you turned facing each other then back at the school making your way inside.

“Hey i told jj I’d meet with him just before first lesson give him his homework see you there”you gave him a confused look “they go here?”he laughed “yeah didn’t i tell you”you shook your head no “sorry see you in 10 nerd”he waved “in 10 geek”you repli,ex

Waiting for class to start,you set up outside your classroom and put your headphones back in continuing your book. The vibration of the bell and stampedes of teenagers scurry to their first lesson , you ended up waiting for pope who practically ran down the hall and laughed when your eyes met.

You went in taking your seats next to each other this happened up until break. then lunch you’d go to all your lessons together hang out at break,being antisocial in the library, but at lunch he’s always go off,with the pogues you assume,now knowing they go to your school.At lunch you go outside and walk to the bleachers and sit reading basking in the sun.

After your last lesson with pope you both headed home together dropping him off at heywards halfway.

“Mom I’m home”you shouted slamming the door dropping the keys on the sideboard .After no reply you expected her to be at work so you got started on your homework so you could”relax” on the weekend.

It was now 6:30,and pope texted you telling you the party started at seven and the offer was still up before you could reply,you heard your door slam shut and you ran downstairs hoping you could talk to your mum,and catch up.

You see her figure reach for a cupboard that hasn’t been opened in years left. this was bad.

“Hey mama how was work”you asked with a shaky breath

She glared swigging the bottle

“You know what sweetie “she spat “Mama don’t have to go to work an more you wanna know why because i got fired from work apparently they couldn’t handle me anymore,took to many people on,so sweetie work was fucking awful OK”she shouted

“Oh mum I'm sorry what are you going to do i mean i think the heyw--“

“Oh shut up you’re so pathetic you know,I mean you inside on a Friday night? should you be out like a normal teenager huh?god”she scoffed

“What mom I-“by now half the bottle was empath,being drank with such desperation

“I’ll get another job I’ve already got the heywards they can give me more time and an I-I’ll get a side job we’ll be fine w-we have dads money too”

“Sont talk about hijm!It’s your fault your father left you fucking incompetent piece of shit you make everyone want to leave,no wonder you have no friends. I mean look at you your pathetic you know these people in your books there not real DAISY god why can’t you just be normal you drove everyone away.this is your fault”

Tears were now threatening your eyes,but as you looked into the person infront of you,you didnt see sadness,you saw anger,you saw red.

“Mum Im sorry i-ill-“

Before you could say anything she downed the rest of the bottle and threw it at you.glass smashing everywhere cutting you up.your whole arm started to bleed as you cried out in pain your mum hit you,ran out and slammed the door shut.

she hit you.hit you.you ran upstairs not bothering to protect your arm wrapping it up in an old shirt.you needed your best friend,you didn't have many friends but he was yours you knew that nothing anyone said could change your friendship

So you called him running out of your house in todays clothes covered in blood like you’d been in a fucking horror movie

“Heyyy daisy you change your mind”he answered the phone

“Hey pope I-I need some help my mom a-are you still at a-at the p-party”you stuttered

“Woah woah breathe daisy where are you I’ll come get you okay”

“I’m near the boneyard you still there I-I’m sor-ry f-for calling i didn’t kn—“

He cut you off “no shut up it’s fine where are you,are you hurt what happened?”

“My arm s-she h-hit b-bottle “

“Fuck where are you daisy “

“Oh-oh my god there’s so many people here”you were sure you were having a panic attack by now,-you could barely breathe

“Wait daisy I-i see you I’m coming okay wait there”

“O-okay”

Hanging up the phone you were now just balling your eyes out in pain and hurt. You curled up into a ball only looking up when you could hear pope shouting in the distance.

“Shit daisy”he shouted

“I’m sorry I didn’t know where to go,my mum she she my arm I- I”

Pope wasn’t unfamiliar to your panic attacks,usually being the one to calm you from them,/

“Daisy breath okay”he stroked your hair making you look into his eyes

“What happened “he asked and you showed him your arm “shit daisy that’s close to a main artery your losing loads of blood C'mon let’s get you cleaned up back at the chateau “you just nodded following him his hand holding yours hiding you from the people as you walked past. Arriving at a group of people probably his friends,the pogues,. As your vision begins to go hazy you think that maybe your mum was right you are pathetic .He was out on a Friday night ,I looked like the whole damn school was here.he has his life maybe he didn’t want to be your friend maybe he didn’t want to just hurt you .realizing you were fading out he shook you “shit daisy no no no “he cursed“John b keys I need the keys”you heard him say and they were saying something about him getting some “dude shut up this is daisy she’s hurt “you heard him say and all of them looked at you,but you couldn’t bring your eyes too meet them.Soon enough pope was dragging you away and towards a shack,the chateau.

He dragged you inside and you were sitting on the Island In the kitchen/living room,this was a home.

where was your home now?.

“Here lemme see ''he pulled your arm and started to work. It didn’t surprise you he was so good at this he was always good at first aid but this?

Lucky it wasn't on a actual artery but the blood made it look worse,acknowledging the fact you'd been so quiet,he spoke up “hey D look at me “he said pointing your chin up,looking at you straight in your eyes”what happened,when your ready”he asked.As your breathing steadied,you began to speak “my mom,she got back from work sh-she just lost her job a-and”you stuttered,pausing to collect your breathe

“hey it’s okay take your time okay”he calmed you”she hasn’t drank since..”you stopped and he looked in your eyes.Pope knew all about your dad,leaving you when you were about to go into junior year,you never knew why but one day he was their next he wasn’t,pope helped you through it,when you began to get closer.

“Your dad?”he answers for you

You nodded

“She said that it-it was my fault that he left and that she lost her job an”you gulped,recomposing yourself“How I push everyone away and that’s why I have no friends I mean let’s face it”laughiing a breathy laugh “she’s right”popes head snapped up “Daisy!you have me,D its okay I’m you best friend and you know she’s wrong okay now this is going to hurt”he assured you,before you could ask questions your arm burned up from the straight alcohol he’d put on your arm “FUCK POPE SHIT WARNING PLEASE FUCK”you shouted and he laughed,frowning when he came too “Sorry,shit this is bad daisy,like really bad,I dont know what to do,I can just wrap it up But ii think you should go to the hospital“he said and before you could fight,a deep voice filled the room.

“What the fuck is going on pope”curse from the back of the room.After observing the heaps of bloody tissues and your T-shirt laying next to you“What the fuck happened to her man,who is this?”he asked pope who looked up at you,asking the silent of’should i tell him’ you shook your head with pleading eyes

Pity took over popes vision as he answered JJ’s question“Jj this is daisy,daisy jj”he introduced you and you sighed,finally meeting the blue eyed boy with watery vision“hey,sorry we,urm, woke,you”you stuttered “oh i wasn’t sleeping princess”he winked causing you to furror your eyebrows at the boy you heard stories about ,following up to the elephant int he room.”what happened”he asked,re-observing your surroundings,eyes finally meeting your bloody arm “holy shit you gotta fucking c-cat or something”he demanded .Before you could awnser,a half naked girl stumbled out of his room,pouting

“oh you really weren’t joking when you said you weren’t asleep”you giggle then pope accidentally pressed to hard into your arm making you scream “fuck pope Jesus fucking shit”you cursed

“Fuck I’m sorry but its clean and the plasters won’t do much but I’ll wrap it up anyways i still think you might have to go to hospital”you shook your head “no no no no I can’t pope you know that”he sighed “look nerd you know where she cut look how close that is daisy okay” pointing to your bandaged arm jjs eyebrows furrowed in confusion

You tore away from his gaze to the the floors

“Hey jj,what's taking so long sweets”his guest said,in a thick country accent causing him too sigh turning around going back into his room.You don’t know what he said but five minuets later she was storming out the rusted doors,huffing and puffing, and left and he walked back to you two

“Sorry”you looked at him and his eyes softened.You were gorgeous and so innocent who would do this to you?.he asked himself”don’t be she was to Whiny anyways you saved me”you smiled ,slightly rolling your eyes at the player you'd been warned from.

“Daisy”pope snapped you back to reality “hospital?”

“Pope I can’t I-I’ll just go home and-“you babbled

”no no way you're not going back there daisy okay not if your moms like she is right now”he said under his breath in attempt to be secretive

“Your mom?”jj thought out loud and you just looked at him,mentally cursing yourself

Ignoring the blondes “you know i can’t do that pope”you mumbled looking down.

“Why”he snapped

“Because I live there pope”you paused,forgetting the blonde”you know and it’s not like this is new, you know it’ll blow over”you urged,trying to convince yourself

“And what if i doesn't daisy”he quizzed” what are you going to do then”he asked causing you to freeze and stand in silence.

You walked up and hugged him,stifling a sob.Skilfully dodging your arm,you let go of him and held his stare.

“Pope,your my best friend, okay?Well my only friend. You know that, but you gotta understand why I’ve gotta go home,Besides, she’s probably not even in,she left straight after, she’s probably out okay”you insisted”I’ve got that job with you and your dad tomorrow I’ll see you okay”you insisted

After some silence he looked at you,”I’ll drive you home okay and if she’s there your coming back to mine”he hissed”You can crash in the couch like you did last time okay “he urged”let me just go talk to jj okay”he said leaving you in the kitchen ,now only realizing the blonde had left the room.After overhearing some not-so hushed whispers,pope came out followed by a blonde who carried an angered but also slightly pained expression that left you wondering what pope said in there.Did he tell him about your mum?

After snatching the keys from the side,where you left them,he led you guys into the van.You and pope got into the back and he and just hugged you there it was nice he calms you and you calm him .“Hey pope”you break the silence“Yeah”he returned“Sorry”you apologised“Stop”he spat.

You looked up to him,eyebrows arching up in confusion“What?”you pleaded,provoking him to roll his eyes and your tendency to apologise after any slight inconvenience“Doing it”he grumbled“Doing what”you urged,oblivious to what was annoying him“You always apologise,after everything”he answered letting out a slightly breathy laugh“Sorry”you laugh realising you already subconsciously apologised.“See what I mean”he tutted“Right but thank you”you pushed“Always nerd”he promised“Geek”you sassed,falling into a comfortable silence,enjoying who you considered your family now

“Hey daisy” he broke the silence

“Hm”you humed

“Did you take them today”he asked,you sighed

“I thought I’d be okay pope,i was i promise”you pleaded

“Daisy”he sighed

“I hate them pope,they make me feel so deflated,they make me feel like a monster”you mumbled into his shoulder

“You have to take them daisy you know that”he scolded

“I’m know i Just”you paused

“I know”he cut in

“I don’t want to be a monster anymore pope”

“Your not a monster daisy,i promise,you're amazing bub”he praised

Finally pulling up to your house,met with a cleaver driveway you turned back to pope who was checking for the same thing you were “see”you deflated”i'll be fine see you in the morning,7 sharp kids” you teases in his dad's warning tone

“Daisy i still think you should come back to mine i don't think you’ll b--”

You pleaded his anxious babbling with a kiss on the cheek”see you in the morning”you demanded and he sighed

You popped your head through to the front

“Thank you for the ride jj sorry about interrupting your night” you apologised and he smiled at you”no worries princess,we oughta be seeing you in daylight too though”he asked “maybe blondie”you winked giving pope one last hug before you made your way through the door,treading carefully,just to be safe.

#jj #jj outer banks #jj imagine #jj x reader #jj maybank #outerbanks #obx #obxfic #pope heyward #jj x y/n #jj x oc #pope x yn #pope x reader #pope x oc lovetriangle?#newfic #anypotential whatsoever?#I HAVE A PT2 BC IT WAS SO FFFFFING LONG #LMK IF U WANT IT

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aal-archaeology · 5 years

Text

Words from a so-far successful archaeologist (25 years old/recent Ph.D. admit)

Hello Everyone! I have revived my Tumblr to find many messages asking “what do I do next” when it comes to Archaeology/Anthropology. So I thought I’d create a post explaining what I went through to get to where I am now, and hopefully give some information to those who are pondering on the next steps to take in this truly wonderful field of study. Quick academic about me:

Undergrad: Ivy League, Major: Anthropology-Geography, Minor: Religion

After Undergrad: 1 year of Cultural Resource Management (CRM) & Substitute teaching

Graduate School: England MSc in Archaeological Information Systems

After Graduate: 10-month long research grant in Cambodia

Now: (USA) Ph.D. Candidate in Anthropology, Archaeology Track

I come from a low-middle class family, all of my academics have been funded through financial aid or through grants that I’ve applied for. A lot of the time school and research can get expensive, but that doesn’t mean you have to be wealthy to pursue it!

Per usual, please feel free to DM me at any point with questions (here or IG @ aal.archaeology), I’m always happy to help to the best of my ability. Success in this field is really dependent on networking!

I’ll set this up based on the various landmarks of my academic career:

1. Undergrad

Themes: Ask for help, build your resume, write down everything

No matter where you are going to school, it is so so so important to use the resources around you. Becoming a professor is HARD work, and each one of your professors went through a lot to be able to stand in front of you and teach you. They’ve likely had years and years of research experience, which is probably still happening behind the scenes of teaching and grading papers. More often than not, professors want to help you, they want students to be excited about the research they’ve worked so hard on, and they want to do what they can to help you achieve your career goals. Therefore, if there’s a class you’ve taken or a professor whose research you’re interested in, tell them. This is how I got my first experience with archaeology (before I even knew that I wanted to do archaeology). I randomly took an Anthropology class that sounded cool, and after the first class, I was like WOW I love this topic so much and I really want to know more about it. I went up to the professor that was teaching it, told her I was really interested and asked if she knew of any research opportunities available. She then hired me as a student researcher in her lab to do data entry for one of her archaeological projects in Mesoamerica, and after working for her for a few months, she asked me if I wanted to go with her and her team to Mexico for fieldwork.

(my timeline at this point: 19 years old, end of Sophomore year)

From this experience, I learned how to apply to grants within the University and funding outside of the University, and was able to FULLY fund my research experience in Mexico. During this fieldwork, I got to work with 3000-year-old artifacts, do archaeoillustration, and eventually got my own chapter published in the book that my professor wrote about the research that was done.

After I got back from Mexico, I started exploring archaeology further. A new professor entered the department who specialized in “digital archaeology,” and his research involved tracking looting patters in Syria using satellite imagery. I thought this was crazy so I then went up to him and asked if I could help him with his research. (the common theme throughout this entire process is just asking for help). From this experience, I learned that I loved the possibilities that technology brought to the study of archaeology, everything from 3D modeling to identification of sites in satellite imagery to spatial mapping in GIS. With this professor, I was able to form an “internship” with him, and continued doing that and other minor projects within the department. I ended up modifying my major to incorporate coursework from the Geography department and created my own “Digital Archaeology” major.

(my timeline at this point: 22 years old, Senior year)

As graduation began to creep closer, I had been able to get a good amount of lines on my resume. I had:

research assistant/ data entry

fieldwork in mesoamerica

x2 internships with digital archaeology prof

multiple “small” projects around the department i.e. making posters, painting 3D prints of bones,

all of the coursework I had done on GIS/ relevant digital experience

started a drone club at my school (it flopped, but it still counts as a line on the resume!)

All of these lines became useful when starting to think of jobs and the “next step”

UNDERGRAD HIGHLIGHTS & TAKEAWAYS:

Ask for help, your professors are there for a reason, it will almost always lead you to new opportunities. These relationships last well beyond your graduation and definitely come in handy later, make it count!

Write down EVERYTHING that you do. Did you help out with a conference? Write it down. Did you do a couple hours of data entry? Write it down.

Follow your leads! I started my anth journey in Mesoamerica and ended my undergrad in Near Easter digital archaeology (and I entered college wanting to do astronomy?). Change is natural, let it happen.

2. Gap Year Between Undergrad and Grad School

Highlights: Job applications, field school, CRM, uncertainty

Something that I was always told during my undergrad was that you really need to do a field school and some CRM to be taken seriously post-grad. This shows that you actually want to be an archaeologist outside of the classroom environment. Field Schools and CRM give you valuable experience such as: excavation methodology, report writing, grant applications, teamwork, leadership, etc.

I started applying for jobs probably about 5 months before I graduated and ended up securing a job at a CRM company in LA. They liked how much I had done during my undergrad, but they really wanted me to have a field school under my belt before I started working for them. Because I had already graduated and didn’t need course credit, I was able to do my field school at a discounted price (these things really do get expensive, and this was a difference of about $2k). I think this worked out in my favor waiting until the summer after I graduated because it saved me a lot of money in the end.

After my field school was done, I started work that September in CRM. This job ended up being nothing like what I thought it would be, to be honest. I was an Archaeological Field Technician that was part-time/on-call, meaning I only got work when they needed someone to go monitor a construction site. I only got work once every month, sometimes every couple of months, so I was making hardly any money. I realized this quickly and decided to become a substitute teacher to supplement the CRM job. I HIGHLY recommend doing this if you end up in the same situation. Not only does subbing fill up all of your non-working days, but it also gives you the flexibility to choose when you can work and gives you teaching experience that you can put on your resume. That CRM experience can be really important, so it’s good to stick it out long enough to quit.

Why didn’t I like CRM? For me, my job was very sparse, included driving long hours to a construction site, sitting there all day in case archaeological material popped up, and then driving home. Sometimes it was just walking back and forth across a massive field full of cow poop looking for arrowheads, and often it felt like I was just clearing land so that a big building could be erected. I was really missing the research component to all of it. The pay was also not great.

GAP YEAR HIGHLIGHTS AND TAKEAWAYS:

What I got from this year was very valuable, even though it wasn’t necessarily that fun, however.

I got the experience I needed in CRM

I got some teaching experience (also volunteered to mentor clubs and research at local high schools during this time)

I started doing some networking (I found some alumni that were doing work that I wanted to be doing and reached out to them)

and most importantly, I realized that I really do love school and wanted to go back for my Masters

So I started looking into Masters's programs. This is kind of a scary thing especially in the US because school is expensive. I still really wanted to do Digital Archaeology, and I couldn’t find a single program in the US had a focus in this topic, and especially couldn’t find one that I was willing to pay for.

The UK, however, had plenty of Digital Archaeology programs, and the programs were only a year long and a fraction of the price in the US. I decided to take a chance and apply, got in, and then suddenly I was moving to England. (in hindsight I really didn’t spend much time at all making this decision, but it worked out in the end).

3. Masters Program

(my timeline at this point: 23-24 years old)

I chose the program I applied to based on its focus on the techniques that I wanted to use, namely, remote sensing, GIS, and 3D modeling. I really wanted a degree qualification that spoke for itself, and therefore applied for an MSc in “Archaeological Information Systems.”

I had done some networking during my gap year and connected with an alumnus who was doing research in Cambodia using digital methods, and she offered me the opportunity to join her fieldwork. I agreed to join her in Cambodia during my degree, and also applied for a research grant for the year following my master's degree to continue fieldwork in Cambodia.

I used this opportunity to fuel my dissertation topic and focused all of my writing and coursework throughout my grad school experience around Cambodia. While I was surrounded by people studying Roman architecture and Medieval Studies, I spent my time doing independent work and building a network in Cambodia.

This program was a great experience for the most part, I was surrounded by beautiful medieval architecture and had a great community throughout. I personally didn’t really like the UK school system compared to what I had received in the US, however. This was largely because of the way coursework was set up. (If you want to know more just DM me).

MASTERS HIGHLIGHTS AND TAKEAWAYS:

Follow networking opportunities, and find someone doing what you want to do (or close to it) and let them help you take the steps to get there

If you’re going to do grad school, do it in something you know you love. Don’t waste money on a program that isn’t right for you.

Make sure that the program you apply to allows for flexibility so that you can do research on what YOU want, not what THEY want.

Halfway through my Master's degree, I received word that I had been accepted for the research grant (Fulbright) and would spend the next year living in Cambodia doing independent research.

4. Gap Year Between Masters Program and PhD

If you’re planning on a Ph.D., I think its a really good idea to do something before applying that relates to what you want to be studying. This shows that you’re dedicated to your research and to a life in academia, and have the ability to produce something from your work.

My master's degree was nice because 1) it was short, only a year-long, and 2) allowed me to focus research on what I was interested in. This gave me the experience I needed to lead into a year of independent research.

This year of independent research was definitely contingent on receiving the grant in the first place, and I think that I would have started job searching again had I not received it. However, the small things I did leading up to applying for it really helped in qualifying me to receive it.

I had:

All of the undergraduate research experience

CRM experience

teaching experience

fieldwork experience

a master’s degree that focused on the region

established a network of people in the country beforehand

a couple “publications” from fieldwork

This grant fully funds me living in Cambodia, and has allowed me to participate in cultural exchange with some amazing people here in addition to allowing me to partake in archaeological fieldwork across the country.

Again, I cannot stress enough how important it is to network. If you like something, find someone else who likes the same thing, send them an email.

Networking got me my experience in Mesoamerica, Digital Archaeology, my CRM job, my research experience in Cambodia, and so so much more. All because I sent that first email.

5. PhD Applications

I applied to 1 school. I got in. Its a really good school. I’m still in shock.

However, I think I really did set myself up for success in this one.

The biggest advice I can give in the world of Academia is:

NETWORK

Talking to people who have gone through what you’re going through are the BEST help. They can mentor you through these experiences, offer you new opportunities, or lead you in the direction of someone else who can help.

PLAN AHEAD (but be open to change)

Okay, so you’re applying to grad school. What do you want to focus on while you’re there? What do you want to do with the degree when you’re done? Do you want to start working? Do you want to do more research? What opportunities are out there for research funding? What is the job market looking for? Is there anyone in my network that can help me get there?

None of these have to be concrete plans, they just have to exist in some shape or form so that you have the ability to latch on to one when the opportunity arises.

If you’re doing something that you love doing, you’ll find a way to make it happen. All opportunity comes from the amount of effort you put into getting it! Thanks for reading and best of luck on your studies! Also Happy Anthropology Day! :) -Lyss

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frighthouseofalighthouse · 4 years

Note

I'm gonna do it. I'll take all the history asks for 500, Alex!

OKAy. I may have to reblog and do an add-on, because I will almost certainly go over the 250 paragraph limit. ALSO NICE JEOPARDY REFERNCE. Okay, ready? Go.

1: Historical role model?

We could all stand to be more like Julie D'Aubigny.

2: Favorite underrated historical figure?

See above.

3: Funniest historical kerfuffle?

In 1774 Boston's Committee of Safety (John and Samuel Adams as well as Joseph Warren and PaulRevere were on it) was made up almost entirely of patriots, except for one man: Daniel Leonard. They couldn't decide anything important with him around so they would have a fake meeting and then be like OKAY IT'S AUGUST WE'RE HOT AND TIRED, LET'S GO HOME, and then after he'd left they'd lock themselves in a room and have their REAL, TREASONOUS MEETING. Reading about this is objectively one of the funniest things I have ever heard. It's literally the beack house episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine where they have a fake party for Captain Holt.

4: Favorite conspiracy theory revolving around history?

Whatever the fuck the real story of the X FIles was (I've watched the whole thing multiple times and I still don't know what exactly what the point was. DOn't get me wrong I love it. It just makes no sense.)

5: Favorite political scandal to examine?

The XYZ Affair because I was there for it all and it's...a lot

6: Opinion on the presidential assassinations and their impact on America?

I answered this in depth last time I got that question and you can read my response here.

7: Which time period would you like to live in?

Either take me back to the revolution or put me in Victorian England (BARRING MEDICAL NONSENSE AND SOCIAL BARRIERS)

6 (again?!): Favorite historical fiction book?

See the assassination link!

8: Favorite tv show based on historical events, but not really faithful to real life?

Top choices are Outlander, TURN: Washington's Spies, Black Sails, and Ripper Street.

9: Favorite musical based on history?

*sarcasm* Definitely NOT Hamilton whaaaaaaat why would you even assume that?! Ahem. Also Les Mis is cool I guess.

10: Favorite movie based on history?

Wonder Woman!!!

11: Favorite biography?

The Swamp Fox by John Oller

12: If you could prevent one tragedy, which would you choose?

The Trump Administration.

13: Fun fact?

MLK and Anne Frank were born in the same year.

14: Favorite female monarch?

Cleopatra or Mary Queen of Scots.

15: Favorite war leader?

I'm biased but George Washington.

16: Favorite controversial leader?

Winston Churchill

17: Favorite feminist pioneer?

J U L I E D ' A U B I G N Y. Also Mary Read and ANne Bonney my queer pirate gals

18: Which president, in your opinion, was the best speaker?

No contest, Abraham Lincoln.

19: If you would travel back in time and kill anyone, who would it be?

Listen I’m not a fan of these questions when people are like “I’d kill Hitler” etc. bc butterfly effect, BUT The British officer who shot John Laurens can CATCH THESE MF HANDS

20: Opinion on each of the founding fathers?

Oh boy. This is an interesting question at this point in time because I am currently grappling with the fact that the people I worked with did not really believe in equality for all, and the system we built was designed to reflect this. However, it is a system that I believed in and put my everything towards so I have many conflicted feelings toward it rn. Anyway here's the low-down on the major ones. GEORGE WASHINGTON: Good guy, needed to loosen up and not be a slaveholder. JOHN ADAMS: old stinky man. Called me mushroom excrement once. Put him back in the swamp from whence he came. THOMAS JEFFERSON: Rapist. Slaveholder. Really stuffy. Founded an entire political party for People Who Don't Like Hamilton. Fuck him foreverrrr. JAMES MADISON: Friendly with me but betrayed me when Jefferson came back from France. 2/10, cute but do not trust him with your secrets or coffee order. JAMES MONROE: A teenager during the war and I barely ever saw him after that but he was fine ig. ALEXANDER HAMILTON: that me! Made mistakes but all around a cool(tm) guy. BENJAMIN FRANKLIN: fresh funky and really funny. Cooler than you'd expect an old man with gout to be.

21: Which leader do you think would make the best spouse?

No leaders are good spouses bc superiority complex.

22: Most pointless war in your opinion?

All. But King Phillip's War was especially whack.

23: John Wilkes Booth - crazy or crazy with a cause?

I mean of course he had a cause, but it was a bad one and having a cause doesn't make him less crazy. He was...really yikes.

24: Why do you think Lee Harvey Oswald killed JFK and did he act alone?

Most certainly did not act alone. But I feel based on timeline of events and maps of the area that either he was paid off either by our own government or the Soviets, or one of the two set him up as a patsy. Then Jack Ruby was paid to cover up the tracks.

25: Opinion on assassinations of leaders in general?

Same as killing anyone else, I guess, murder is bad, and I don't think that's really the route that should be taken to remove dangerous parties from power. But in some cases it may be the only way of removing them, and, well, that is what it is.

26: Do you think we're going to repeat history because we haven't learned from it?

Always. It is constantly happening. There is nothing new.

27: Have you ever been teased for being a history nerd?

hahahahahahahahaha yeah. Ever since first grade.

28: Which historical figure do you think has been subject to the most fictionalization and elevated to a godlike status nowadays?

Due to the musical, Alexander Hamilton (me.) People need to realize that I wasn't perfect but also not evil. Just human.

29: Rant about your favorite topic?

See the other part of my Lincoln Assassination rant here

30: Favorite kids/teens history books?

The Dear America series and the Liberty's Kids novelizations are WHERE ITS AT.

31: How was your interest in history started?

I don't even know exactly when or how anymore. My mom's a book nerd and an archaeology/anthropology major, so I grew up in a house chock full of books, including history books. I've loved it ever since I could read, honestly.

32: Do you know a history professor?

I do not!

33: How did your favorite history teacher structure their class?

I was homeschooled so it was my mom. She made sure we covered every period, but other than that just let me pick out what interested me and what I wanted to read and explore. She read a ton of big historical books right alongside me and we'd discuss as we read. We still do this!

AND THAT'S THE HALFWAY POINT OF THESE. I HAVE TO GET READY FOR AN OVERNIGHT SHIFT AT WORK SOON SO I WILL LEAVE THIS HERE FOR NOW AND REBLOG WITH THE REST OF THEM UPDATED TOMORROW. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

#a series of essays anonymously published #history asks

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sparklingskz · 5 years

Text

the heart of the matter | kim seungmin

▸ genre: college au, fluff!!

▸ description: you’re supposed to be registered into the physics class for humanity majors but somehow you’re in the advanced class, and Seungmin comes to your rescue.

▸ word count: 2.4k

▸ a/n: some cute seungmin for u (✿◠‿◠) also idk why I added those emojis in the text messages, i was just feeling like it ig lol

“I’m sorry, but it seems you’re registered in the advanced physics class,” the woman working at the front desk answered.

“This can’t be.” Exasperation dripped from your tone. “I’m sure I enrolled in the class for humanity majors. Can you please check again?”

You watched as the woman clicked on the screen a few times. “Your name is on the advanced list, so I’m afraid you’ll need to attend that class.” She directed a sad look at you.

“Isn’t there a way to change it? Transfer me to the easier course?” you pleaded.

“You can, but only after the first semester has passed,” she said after shrugging.

You sighed. “Okay, thank you.”

It seems you’ll have to survive until the end of the semester.

When you checked your schedule that morning, your heart stopped for a second when you noticed the small “advanced physics” printed, and immediately headed towards the university’s administration to figure out what was happening.

Turns out you probably messed up when you were selecting your classes.

Anyways, there was no use to cry because of it now. You resignedly headed to the physics room, mentally preparing yourself for what was about to come.

You were standing in front of the classroom doors, pondering whether to go in or not. To say you were confident would be a complete lie. However, you needed the attendance if you wanted to pass, so you took a deep breath and stepped into the room.

You sat down on the second row and took out your materials, and were completely prepared to pay attention to try and save yourself from failing.

Oh, but it was not going to be so easy.

Only half an hour had passed and you were suffering. Physics was never your forte, and now that you had to learn things way above your level, you’d have to work twice as hard. You were trying your best, taking notes of everything the professor was saying, your hand aching every once in a while.

Some time later the lesson ended, and you quickly packed your stuff and left the classroom, feeling exhausted from all the information you had to engrave into your brain.

This was definitely going to be a tough semester.

“Why is this so difficult?” you whined as you buried your head into your hands.

You were currently at the library, your physics notes and a book opened right in front of you, trying to absorb as much knowledge as you could.

It was not going very well.

You were a humanities major, for God’s sake! All these formulas and theorems weren’t going to be of any use to you, but if you wanted to do well on your upcoming test you’d have to learn all of them by that time.

Frustration was quickly building up on you, but you picked up your book and delved right into it again.

You were jotting down a few definitions when you suddenly felt a soft voice addressing you.

“Excuse me?”

You looked up towards the voice and were met with a boy sitting on the table next to you, looking at you curiously.

“Um, yes?” you asked, wondering what he would want.

“Are you studying for the advanced physics class?”

“I’m trying,” you sighed.

“Do you want some help? I think I don’t suck that much at physics,” he said, shrugging.

At this point, you’d take any help you can get, even if you didn’t know the boy.

“If you don’t mind, that would actually be good,” you said, a small smile forming on your lips.

He returned your smile and picked up his things and moved to go sit right next to you, setting his supplies down on the table.

“Oh! I just realized I haven’t told you my name. I’m Seungmin.” He extended his hand for you to shake, and you took it.

“I’m y/n. How did you know I needed help?” you inquired.

“Well, let’s say I could feel your frustration from where I was seated, and you look like you’re one second away from having a meltdown during class.”

You laughed a bit and looked at the floor. “Yeah, I’m hopeless.”

“Don’t say that! Look, I know it may be difficult but just take a deep breath and let’s start with the basics, okay?” Seungmin said softly.

You looked up at him, and you could swear you were staring at an angel. This boy, who was very cute you might add, offering his help to you? Maybe choosing the advanced class wasn’t a complete mistake.

“There, you got it right!” Seungmin exclaimed and high-fived you.

“Looks like I’m not that hopeless after all,” you said with a smile.

Seungmin had spent the past hour teaching you, and you could say that you had understood everything. It was like he had a special way with words, he made the complicated terms you learnt in class make sense and everything sound way more simple than it probably was.

Whatever it was, you were grateful.

It was when Seungmin yawned you noticed how late it had gotten. “You must be tired, sorry for keeping you here so long trying to teach my humanities major brain,” you said, closing your books.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind. By the way, why are you taking the advanced class?” he tilted his head, like a cute puppy.

“I made a mistake when registering my classes, so now I’m stuck until the first semester ends,” you said sadly, both of you standing up and heading towards the library’s exit.

“Well, if you’d like I could continue tutoring you, I’m not that busy this semester.”

You stopped on your tracks to face him. “You’d really do that?”

“Yeah, why not? You shouldn’t have to suffer because of your mistake, and if I can help in any way, then I’d be happy to,” he finished with a smile.

Perhaps angels did exist in real life, you thought.

“If you’re sure… I would really appreciate the help.”

You both traded numbers and went your separate ways, the image of the nice boy stuck in your mind.

Some time had passed, and you had met up with Seungmin a few times to study. Well, at least most of the time, because you sometimes got off track and ended up talking about random topics and getting to know each other. You weren’t complaining, though.

You found out that the boy was actually a physics major, hence his deep understanding on the subject. He loved it, so he also loved teaching it to you (you found this piece of information especially endearing).

Every time you studied, you brought him food as to repay him, because he wouldn’t accept money and he was, as he himself put it, a “starving college student”. Turns out, you were meeting at least twice a week to eat and occasionally study, only when it was necessary as you thought it was way more fun to just talk for hours about anything and everything.

You wouldn’t deny that your heart would race a little every time you met.

However, you’d have to ignore such thoughts because you had a final exam coming up, and a large part of your grade for the course depended on the score you got. You wanted to do well so you would be able to transfer to the easier class without any regrets.

You texted Seungmin so you could meet up to (actually) study.

you (15:34 pm): hey I need help for the final exam, are u free today? (^▽^)

seungminnie ♡ (15:36 pm): do u have food

you (15:37 pm): who do u take me for, of course

seungminnie ♡ (15:38 pm): then I’m free ヽ(^◇^*)/

you (15:40 pm): see u at the library dork

You locked your phone and headed to the library.

When you got there, you immediately spotted Seungmin, who was sitting on the table you two used every time you studied there. You went over and said hello, sitting down next to him.

After talking about random topics for a few minutes, you took out your physics supplies and watched as Seungmin did the same thing.

You were looking at the amount of information you’d have to internalize, and your leg immediately started bouncing up and down, nerves flooding your entire system.

Seungmin seemed to notice your nervousness. “Y/n, you’ll do fine,” he said, resting his hand on top of your leg, stopping its bouncing. “Relax.”

How is he asking you to relax when his hand is right there, you didn’t know.

“It’s just… A lot of information,” you sighed.

“And we’ll go through it, don’t worry.” He directed a smile at you, instantly calming you down.

You trusted him, definitely. After all, he was one of the people you had grown closer to during your time in college, and you knew he did his best to teach you, taking time out of his day to help you out.

And you appreciated that.

You watched as he opened the physics book, getting everything set up for you to review. You got into your studying mindset, ignoring the way your heart jumped when of your hands brushed when reaching for your notes.

This would be a long evening.

“Come on y/n, I know you know this,” Seungmin said.

You sighed, burying your face in your hands. “I think I’m just a bit distracted.”

Oh, damn right you were. You didn’t know what was happening to you that specific day, but you weren’t paying enough attention to your textbook or Seungmin’s attempts at explaining. Instead you were paying attention to the way his hands moved enthusiastically when he was trying to express something, the way he slowly blinked when reading, or the way his mannerisms resembled a cute puppy (you couldn’t explain how, but he did).

And all this was affecting your concentration.

“Okay, you know what? Let’s take a break.” He closed the textbook. “We’ll take a nice walk around campus and come back to finish studying, how does that sound?” Seungmin said.

That definitely was better than staying in there dealing with whatever was happening to you. “Okay, let’s go.”

You both grabbed your things and went outside, and started strolling along the buildings on your campus.

The atmosphere was serene. Not many people were outside at that particular time so you both walked in a comfortable silence, Seungmin’s presence comforting beside you. You didn’t talk much except for some punctual comments here and there, preferring to just enjoy the moment and relax before going back inside.

Before you had a chance to do that, though, you both walked next to one of the green areas on campus, some trees, grass and benches adorning the area. That’s when Seungmin turned to face you.

“Hey, how about we continue studying outside? I read that a change in scenery can do the brain good when retaining information,” he said, nudging you with his elbow.

You raised your eyebrows at him. “Oh really? And where did you read that?” You asked, unconvinced.

“I don’t know, Pinterest?” he shrugged. “It doesn’t matter, it’s probably true.” He didn’t give you a chance to respond when he grabbed your hand and dragged you to sit on the grass, under the shade of a big tree.

You weren’t going to lie and say that studying there didn’t sound like a good idea.

You took out your supplies and got to work, a slight breeze surrounding you both and the feeling of soft grass under your fingertips accompanying you.

The moment you handed in your finished test, you could physically feel a weight being lifted off your shoulders. You wouldn’t have to worry about physics until after you got your results back, and you could confidently say you thought you did very well.

A week after that day, you were walking along campus next to Seungmin (“y/n you need to get out of your dorm and stop stressing over your test, you told me you did well!”), checking your phone every ten minutes to see if you got your grade back.

When you heard the typical notification sound, you froze. On the screen, an email from your physics professor was displayed for you to open.

A few seconds later, Seungmin spoke. “So? What are you waiting for, a damn invitation? Open it!”

You snapped out of it and tapped the notification, and you skimmed through the email to see how you did.

A big 87/100 was written, next to “grade”.

“I passed!” you exclaimed, jumping up and down. “Eighty-seven out of a hundred!”

In the thrill of the moment, you threw your arms around Seungmin, embracing him into a big hug. It was all thanks to him, after all.

“Thank you so so much Seungmin, I couldn’t have done it without you,” you said, retreating your arms from around his neck.

He smiled widely at you. “Please, you were the one that answered that test, I just helped,” he shrugged.

You rolled your eyes, smiling. “Don’t be modest. Hey, check your grade too!” you suddenly exclaimed.

You watched as Seungmin took out his phone from his pocket and unlocked it. He tapped the screen a few times before announcing his score, “I got a ninety-five,” he smiled at you.

“Wasn’t expecting anything less from you, to be honest.”

He playfully hit your arm because of your comment, before speaking. “This needs a celebration. Want to grab some food? It’s almost dinner time, I’ll treat.”

“Oh? What happened to ‘I’m a starving college student, please feed me?’” You raised your eyebrows at him teasingly.

“Maybe I want to treat my date to some food, I can’t do that?”

You stopped in your tracks when you heard him say that. A date? Did Seungmin like you back? Wait, you didn’t even conclude that you liked him, you just thought he was cute and had an amazing personality, you loved his laugh, the way he talked, how he was so patient with you whenever you studied, and all his little quirks and traits.

Oh.

Maybe you did like him.

“A date? As in… non-platonic?” you asked, just to clear things up.

“I mean…” He scratched his neck, not meeting your gaze. “If you don’t have a problem with it, I would like to.”

In a sudden urge of confidence, you grabbed his hand into yours, making him look up at you. “I would like to,” you said while smiling.

He gave you a bright smile in return. “Let’s get going, then.”

#stray kids #stray kids fluff #skz #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids onsehots #stray kids blurbs #stray kids reactions #kim seungmin #stray kids seungmin #seungmin #seungmin fluff #seungmin imagines #seungmin scenarios #seungmin oneshots #seungmin x reader #fluff

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amindofstone · 4 years

Text

Love Killa Theory - Monsta X

!!! Please do not steal my idea or work. Credit me please if this is shared or published in any other platform. !!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since I couldn´t sleep I thought why not try to be smart and watch the mv a few times and try to focus on everything that is going on in the mv but not the boys. While doing so something was kinda off in my opinion. This something made me remember a post on IG I recently found. In this post a Mbb said that the car in which Changkyun was sitting was the same one Shownu drove in the FANTASIA Film. So I focused on the scene with the car and played it in slow motion a few times. And while doing so something caught my eye a few times. Remember that one scene where Changkyun drives away with the car? Well to show him driving away they showed the back of the car. They could have done that from the front, from the side of the car or from above the car. But they choose to film them from the back of the car. This might have a reason and can be explained by some filming techniques but this still caught my eye because of something that ended up being really, really interesting. I actually thought that it was nothing special or important but HELL NO! It ended up being so freaking INTERESTING AND EVEN IMPORTANT in my eyes.The thing I am talking about is the license tag. Exactly THE LICENSE TAG!

The tag says “577 MNW”. Now listen up, because the thing that comes next is gonna surprise you a lot. Like I was literally staring at my screen for Lord knows how long. I was really SHOOK. But let’s get to the point.

I started to search up “MNW” but I couldn´t find anything that´s why I dropped it after a while and went straight for “577” and found some good stuff. The number 577 stands for a sign (guardian) angels use to communicate with those they are protecting.( It´s also called angels numbers. There are a bunch of them. If you’re interested just google “angels numbers”). But before we go deeper into the numbers I want to talk about angels quickly. Angels are creatures mostly religious people believe in. I only know about Christianity and Islam because of my theology studies and can tell you that in both religions angels are seen as good and holy creatures (I will keep it short, because there is way way too much to say about them). Angels are seen as good and loyal creatures. They want the best for you always and forever. While they are there to take care of you no matter in what situation you are, they are there in your good and bad days. They lead you to the good path and make sure you´re happy. Some people describe them as a shimmer or a spark of light. While some others thing they look like humans with huge wings.

There is this belief that the angels want to communicate with the humans. So to do so, they use numbers as a way to communicate. Therefore they always use a compilation of numbers. In their way of communicating the numbers aren’t just numbers. They have a meaning and tell you something. And the number compilation of “577” we have on the license tag of the car has in conclusion also a meaning. To understand the compilation better I divide the numbers.

Number 5.:

Five stands for important decisions you make in life and major life changes of any type in your life. No matter if those changes were made by you or your surroundings. Other attributes that come along are personal freedom and independence. Another aspect that I thing is really interesting is that it also stands for the lesions and experiences life teaches you.

Number 7.:

The numbers together:

With the angel number 577, the Universe and the angels are congratulating you on the choices and decisions you are making in your life, as well as the changes you are doing.

They are all making your life better and aligning you with the right path.

The angels are encouraging you to continue following that path, which will eventually lead you to fulfill your soul’s mission in this life.

The angels remind you to focus on developing your spirituality further, knowing you have your angels to turn to for support and additional guidance.

This angel number is a reminder to begin learning from your life experiences as well as the experiences of other people.

Don’t let yourself make the same mistakes again. Don’t repeat unnecessary life circles again and again. The angels encourage you to go on that path without worries and fear. That is the path, which will help you align with your true soul’s purpose and bring you to its fulfillment.

This is just the start. From now on it gets kinda confusing since I couldn’t figure out the rest fully. To make it easier I will copy the definition of the numbers above and put my thoughts in the definitions in a bracket […].

------------------------------------------------------

Number 5.:

Five stands for important decisions you make in life and major life changes of any type in your life. No matter if those changes were made by you or your surroundings [If I thing about changes there are a bunch of occurrences I can think of. I personally think that in every official mv there is something happening that counts as an incident that is worth to be named. Starting from their debut mv “Trespass”. The fact that the first mv of them was about them being in jail and actually trying to break out makes me thing that their lives are constantly in major changes that always leave them with a lot of consequences. Changes that take part in their lives are made by them on their own but also were manipulated or lead by their surroundings. Here we can mention “Dramarama” or “All In”. Every act of them was strongly influenced by occurrences that took place in the past or present. But the future also plays a huge role in it because Hyungwon seems to have access to past, present and future. So do the boys due to the watch but just to some extend because they seem to be figuring it out just recently while Hyungwon seems to know it very well and since a long time. “All In” is a great example of manipulation of their surroundings that can be the society and country they lived in but also their families.]. Other attributes that come along are personal freedom and independence. Another aspect that I thing is really interesting is that it also stands for the lesions and experiences life teaches you.

Number 7.:

Seven, portraits spirituality. It also means inner peace and knowing/wisdom and empathy. Empathy means being able to understand others and to be able to put yourself in other situations. What I thing is also really important to mention is that it also means adaptability and acceptance. [From here on the only thing I could think about was the mv to “Alligator” and the VCR “The seven deadly Sins”. Both are really important to the point I think that “Love Killa” plays just after that or is supposed to be seen as the part two of the phase they had during that time. In the VCR you could see that they were lost and didn´t knew what to do with themselves to the point they went crazy. They were trapped in their pain while they were chasing after a life filled with peace, love and happiness. They are running after that dream blindly what made them actually take wrong paths and even lose themselves even more. Even to a extent they were forgetting that they could have all of what they dream of if they would simply stop running and looking around. To look around and to see that they had each others love and support. Mental but also physical support. (I would like to write more about this theory of them portraying the seven deadly sins but sadly I never had the time to do a proper analysis about it. But I try to work it out and try to get as detailed as I can in my upcoming theories.)]

The numbers together:

With the angel number 577, the angels are congratulating you on the choices and decisions you are making in your life, as well as the changes you are doing. They are all making your life better and aligning you with the right path. They are encouraging you to continue following that path, which will eventually lead you to fulfill your soul’s mission in this life. (!!!) [After I read that I thought that what the boys became in the “Love Killa” mv is a better version of what they were in the past mvs. That could mean that they actually found peace and fulfillment in something that happened or what is gonna be happening. Something that will occur in the future what made them find meaning in their existence and life. It seems like they got out of the prison they made by their own and started to life their lives in harmony together and with the determination to reach something. This could be for example getting Hyungwon back or Wonho. Wonho who could still have a role in the mv as the one member that still seems to be stuck in the past and the pain that life brought him. A thought that literally occupied my brain for two days now is that Wonho might also be death. And it´s his death that made the boys actually wake up and realize that they should stop letting pain, anger and sadness take the lead in their life. And in the mv they are trying to figure out who killed him with Minhyuk and Shownu taking the lead in the mission. What made me think so are the characters they are portraying. But something is still odd in here and that’s the point of the right path. Either way none of what I said seems like the right path what makes me confused. What kind of path did they choose to go that made their guardian angels think that they are doing good? In that case I´m actually wondering how bad and how of a horrible path they went before that?! Because the characters they are portraying is everything bad one can thing of. Each of them are portraying a brutal and aggressive character what also made me think that they actually could be still stuck in their prison. So them as the seven deadly sins but even worse if that’s possible. I mean if we go back to their roles as the seven deadly sins the characters they have in “Love Killa” are perfectly choosen for each member/charavter. They really go well together what only supports my idea of “Love Killa” being phase two of them as the seven deadly sins.]

The angels remind you to focus on developing your spirituality further, knowing you have your angels to turn to for support and additional guidance. [The additional support can be seen as the guys themselves who are watching over each other now. ]

This angel number is a reminder to begin learning from your life experiences as well as the experiences of other people. Don’t let yourself make the same mistakes again. Don’t repeat unnecessary life circles again and again. The angels encourage you to go on that path without worries and fear. That is the path, which will help you align with your true soul’s purpose and bring you to its fulfillment. [Rereading these last sentences I realized that in the FANTASIA Film everything seemed to go smoothly. From the beginning to the end everything seemed to be as they wanted. I go with that assumption because at the end of the short film the boys found each other and left through a door together. That´s why I think that they actually tried to do this a lot of times to the point they knew what to do at what time to get at the place they were at the end.]

Update:

The part were I mentioned Wonho is in my eyes now more accurate because of the pictures you can see above. It might be just fan service but I personally think it is more than that. "The holy number 7" makes me feel some type a way and that feeling won't leave me. This only says that my theory of wonho could be real or something similar to this one is represented there. And the fact the the licence tag has two 7's makes it even more important but also suspicious. Furthermore I think that this only supports my idea of "Love Killa" being the second phase of the boys as the seven deadly sins.

(Left pic is by @kyunspopcorn and those at the right are pictures by @mxyookihyun (both can be found on IG))

Authors note:

If there is anyone who wants to know the site I used for the explanation of the angels numbers just ask me and I´ll be sending you the link.

Feel free to talk to me about theories you have from any mv. I love making them up.

I apologize for grammatical or spelling mistakes. English is not my mother tongue and I´m trying to improve. Have mercy.

Please stay home. Stay safe. Stay healthy and take care of yourself. If you need anyone to talk to feel free to message me. I´ll be listening to you and I´ll be trying my best to make you feel appreciated.

#kpop theories #monstaxtheory #mx theory #monsta x love killa #mx love killa #mx shownu #mx minhyuk #mx wonho #mx hyungwon #mx kihyun #mx jooheon #mx joohoney #mx changkyun #mxim #monstaxmonbebe

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ambroseias · 4 years

Text

「lorenzo zurzolo & male/questioning」⇾ ambrose , elijah, the junior horton student’s records show that he is an virgo and 21 years old. he is studying classics and econ, living in noland and can be charming, diligent, self-centered & vain. when i see him i am reminded of clenched teeth, pyrrhic victories & a laugh that comes to haunt you. ⇽「momo & 20 & est & any pronouns.」

“all stories are about wolves. all worth repeating, that is. anything else is sentimental drivel.” - margaret atwood

hi it’s momo ur resident mess and this is adapted from a previous intro i did so pls dont make fun of me if u catch mistakes. if u like this, i’m coming into ur dms to plot and, if u don’t, i’m still yearning for connection with ur chara. pls. come validate my cliched average bacchanalian icarus bitch, toxic faerie princeling, dark academia fuccboi, dorian grey in the FLESH.

full bio to be found HERE bulleted bio below

AESTHETICS.

sunlight on skin in the morning, like ribbons of gold gleaming between tousled sheets. he throws his head back, laughing. if you do not love him, then you will now. clothes, always pressed. hair, meticulously in place. a dog-eared copy of a streetcar named desire in the crook of his arm. lies. they come so easy to boys like him. lies. tinged honey sweet to hide the fact that there is nothing but teeth behind them. you’ve seen his face in a painting somewhere, you’re certain. and if not, then it haunts you in your dreams. kisses that always taste like champagne, no matter what time it is. if you cut him open, he’d be more red wine than blood. secrets. there is something he’s not telling you. secrets. something rotten behind that sweet-faced grin. walden and thoreau in place of a father figure. choosing dickinson instead of the mother he had. clenched teeth. pyrrhic victories. he wins, always, but at what cost? climb into his chest, now. ignore that miraculously still-beating heart. feel how hollow it is here? he has tried to fill this emptiness his whole life. he has never succeeded.

BULLETED BIO

TW parental issues

first off, say mommy issues into a mirror 3x and this bitch appears behind u like the demon he is

‘that’s it. thats the chara.

im jk but not rlly. eli is the only child to one of radcliffe’s esteemed feminism + gender studies professor (prof. vivianne ambrose) and their relationship has always been... rough

it’s not for lack of love. it’s just that-- sometimes, people are too alike. and it’s hard to apologize and express the love that you feel.

halfway “ignored” by his mother, he’s spent his entire life trying to gain the attention and love of everyone around him. he definitely tries to shift his personality to be the person u want him to be--- but can only really settle on pretentious intellectual + wild child

so ig what i’m trying to say is that ... he’s the duality of man if both dualities were the WORST and most pretentious

mostly, what’s happened is that the people who like him really like him. and the people who don’t-- he refuses to spend the time of day on.

+ like ! i guess the best way to describe him is bright, glittering, hard to look at directly.

he wants u to want him.

but he doesn’t want u to know him

classics n econ bc honestly, he wants to be a professor like his mom and teach classics or theatre BUT he refuses to admit it so he’s getting a double major in econ and telling himself he’s gonna be like a politician or lawyer or some other slick shit

he... ............... would make a good politician probably.

but still.

he rattles off a list of dream roles he wants to play. hamlet. coriolanus. oedipus. caesar. creon. gatsby. some are leads, some aren’t. but most of all-- “they’re tragedies,” you say, “you really like tragedies that much?”

he laughs glibly. “no--” he says, “god, of course not. but they’re the only things i can play. look, i know what i look like. i know what you think of me. deep down, you want nothing more than to see me suffer. on stage, you can.”

“and off-stage?“ you ask tentatively. his eyes flash green, his lips press together almost imperceptibly, “oh come on. look at me. no one’s ever going to deny me of what i want.“

it’s a lie, of course. but it’s a good one. and it’s one that he goes to sleep telling himself.

pls i beg u!! yes, he’s terrible, but, deep down, i think he wants to be good. i think he wants to be soft. but the only time he ever got his mother’s attention was when he was doing something wrong and it’s made his perception of how love is supposed to be— skewed.

he definitely FEELS like an old soul, but he also probably has a very active thirst instagram using oscar wilde and margaret atwood quotes as captions

i hate him dearly pls

IMMA ADD MORE WANTED CONNECTIONS

people who have studied under/knows his mom -- ur too close. everytime he sees u he flinches. he’ll walk in during ur consultation with his mother and the two of them will stiffly update each other on their day and ur like god dang what a weird ass relationship. alternately, he’ll sit outside his mother’s office while ur doing consults. and u can’t help but wonder... god... what kind of mom, would make her child wait.

friends/enemies/etc. from childhood --- he grew up near the university has always been around town

wld die for a childhood crush on him or from him, but likely from him bc that’s cute af

a childhood friend that has always been his ride-or-die, even though they’ve definitely grown apart bc elijah has a fear of Emotional Intimacy!! but u knew him once and u know... there’s a real boy behind that layer of pretense.

step/half-siblings !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! --- his mom might have remarried! his bio dad maybe is lurking out there with another family! who knows!

a tormentor --- for anyone who knows the ambrose family, its’ not hard to see that the relationship btwn mom + son is strained. and like-- that’s something eli is always gonna be sensitive abt. ur chara knows that eli isn’t the hard shell he pretends to be. he’s just a soft boi longing for approval + that scares tf out of eli

people who eli hates -- mostly softs who remind him of his own failure to become completely unfeeling

rlly pretentious friends

unpretentious not friends

party friends

litcherally anything

neighbors

one night stands

fwbs

exes (elijah is tentatively pan, but objectively hates labels)

i live for apartment plots so pls hit me up if ur chara lives in noland

#ruhqintro

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scgdoeswhat · 5 years

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Unpacking The Elementalists Finale

I’d like to dedicate this to my dear Kane anon (and other TE anons) who have been hitting my ask box up for the last several months. I’m sorry this took forever to get out and I know it doesn’t ease the fact that they ixnayed Kane, but hopefully this makes a little more sense of TE’s abrupt ending.

Without further ado...

I’ve been wanting to make this post since Book 2 Chapter 10, but life has been hectic. TE’s finale finally forced my hand and so here I am, with a bunch of theories, points, and thoughts I've had noted since the book came back from its hiatus. First off, now that TE is officially over (😭) we now know that the hiatus was primarily used to tie up all the loose story lines and to give us a tidy ending. The writing in the second half of the book was more solid, concise, and had a clear cut vision of what the writers wanted and where the plot was headed. As much as I hate to say it, the first half of the book may have been overly ambitious. They introduced the Moral Compass, potentially two villains in Kane and Alma, and a plethora of different storylines. I had a number of people tell me through the first five/six chapters of Book 2 that they were confused with the plot because it became too convoluted and hard to follow along. I think they introduced too many elements into the story, which dragged down the arc. Let’s break down some of these individually: The Moral Compass was something we were all excited to see implemented, because it gave us the potential to be an evil MC. In the end, we know it didn’t make much of a difference, save for dialogue and/or violent options. I think this was originally something intended to be greater than what it amounted to, and part of it is the limitations of the medium that the app is and simply, resources. This also ties into…. The plot involving Kane and Alma. I don’t believe having Kane as the Big Bad was supposed to be as defined as it ended up being. The two Sources were written far more ambiguous in the beginning, with the chance that depending on your choices, you could side with either one by the end of the book and/or series. The hiatus streamlined the plot, discarding elements that were difficult to pull off, including multiple MC point of views that may have held the possibility of being evil or choosing Kane, therefore placing Alma as the antagonist. In a narrative story app such as Choices (as opposed to Lovestruck, where the routes have the same players but different stories altogether), I just don’t think this advanced storytelling would have been doable. These plots are primarily linear, and MC being evil/with Kane/etc, it would present a different set of problems, including the fact that this becomes an entirely different story while there is supposed to be one solid ending. (For what it's worth, I enjoy the MC customizability of Choices more.) Looking at the group of friends, obviously Beckett was incredibly fleshed out while the others were not as much. I wanted to delve further into our friends’ backgrounds a bit more, and I think at the beginning of the book, we were on that path. Aster and her wood nymph family was a perfect example of table setting. We had two or three scenes before the hiatus to go to the forest, and I thought the Wand Wars and their involvement against Kane was slated to be more prominent. I think the writers had something bigger planned, but how would it all tie in if players started choosing the evil choices? Again, having too many choices causes a domino effect that makes it nearly impossible to navigate when the story is supposed to end with a particular goal in mind. The chapter where we can receive the wand was a symptom of ending the book early and I think the execution of the actual Wand Wars scene was lacking the emotional punch the initial introduction of it warranted. This is unfortunate because the setup they had in Book 1 made it seem much more violent, disastrous, and full of hate compared to what was shown (i.e. Attuned just being greedy bastards). We were introduced to Shreya's Serene & Sublime business and the potential of family disapproval and lack of support in the beginning, but everything was tied up with the gala chapter. Looking back, I was curious why it was so easy to get so many financial backers this early into the series, but knowing that TE only went for two books makes much more sense why we knew whether S&S succeeded or failed. (Tangent - for anyone who didn't secure backing, is S&S successful at the end of the book?) I think Griffin, his scholarship, and his decision between Natural Sciences and Thief was also slated to be a bigger subplot. We never met his parents, despite them being brought up very early in Book 1. If TE had gone the originally planned three or four books, I have no doubt his family would've been introduced and MC would have needed to help sway his parents (and the committee for the scholarship) whether Griffin continued on the NS or professional Thief path. Doing the Griffin scenes (even as platonic friends) influenced his standing for the scholarship and not doing them made him lose out to Amy, if I'm not mistaken. Question for everyone regarding Zeph and the Thief captaincy: Does he get it in everyone's playthrough? I wonder if the writers always planned for Zeph to get the captaincy or if Griff would have kept it depending on your playthrough if they had all four books to use. Another big plot point that resolved itself out of nowhere was Atlas and MC butting heads over their Sun Source mother. I was not a fan of this storyline at all. I felt like the disagreements between the siblings was unnecessary drama that came off as forced. They tried to explain Atlas' position, and I understood where they were coming from, but Atlas was very unreasonable with their constant “who cares about mom” shtick.

I think this was something that could have been more impactful if there weren't so many plotlines happening and more focus could have been given to it instead of a few screens of Atlas saying they were pissed off before storming away from MC. This was also a plotline that was directly influenced by the Kane/Alma decisions. If MC sides with Kane, it makes much more sense for MC and Atlas to be against each other as opposed to MC being good/siding with Alma.

Five major subplots were opened, but how do you seamlessly weave these elements into a 17-19 chapter book? In my opinion, you can't. Each time something new was introduced, I felt things were glossed over, despite big chunks of chapters being focused on whichever subplot the chapter was about. Throw in the romance and I think it is nearly impossible to resolve each aspect in a complete manner.

What also hurt was the pacing of the series. This was also seen in Book 1, where sometimes a chapter would span one or two days, only for a huge time jump to occur in the next chapter.

So many ideas could have been explored through the course of four books (which is what I believe they had planned), but all the different elements should have been introduced at different times. Instead, Book 2 was an amalgamation of so many ideas but not enough time, space, or resources to thoroughly hash out and have a satisfactory resolution. For what it’s worth, I don’t think it was having too much Beckett that hurt the series. He obviously kept the series afloat and was one of PB's biggest moneymakers in recent history. Despite the constant complaints on tumblr, people fail to realize that the ENTIRE online fandom (FB, IG, Twitter, Tumblr, Reddit, Wiki) comprises maybe 0.5% - 2% of the ENTIRE player fan base. It only made sense that PB capitalized on him because their numbers dictated that the resources should be spent in that manner. The fallout from this was that Beckett was the only one who had his storyline relatively complete, and that was due to the spending power of everyone who romanced him. I think what hurt them the most was the multiple storylines and the indecision of which direction they wanted to go. They had a grand idea of the direction through Book 2 (and Book 3, let’s not lie here) but in-game mechanics and the type of game Choices is made it difficult to pull off. The app wasn’t the correct medium for what they envisioned. In my opinion, the overall story arc had the potential to be brilliant, but again, the app wasn't designed for the type of story the writers wanted to tell.

I also think the timing and having a very short turnaround hurt, as well. Players had high expectations and when you factor in the hype around the other books that were also released on Fridays, TE lost some of its sparkle. Most players didn’t get a chance to miss it for the regular 2-3 months we’ve been trained to wait for sequels. (I recognize that I’m an anomaly and the previous three sentences do not apply to me at all.)

Even with all this, I applaud the writing team for wanting to deliver a story that was worthy of a magical world. I love all the Pend Pals (‘Motley Crue’ for me), the familiars, the side characters, loved to hate the villains, and from someone who is not into Harry Potter lore at all, I was absolutely sucked into the magick universe that the writers built. (Metal Att for life ⚙!)

If TE does return in the future (and I REALLY hope it does), I think it will be even stronger than the first two books because the world building is complete. We know almost everything we need to know now. Instead of using a Book 3 to search for Sun Mama, the family is complete, MC and Atlas are attuned to all the elements, and there are so many open-ended questions that Book 2 left us.

If they implement a time jump where MC and the Pend Pals are all post grad/mid 20s, it also gives the writers a chance to move the story from the Young Adult genre to a more mature setting. We saw this in the later diamond scenes, where the writing appeared similar in their vividness (and coding in the final scene - THANK YOU, glorious writing team) to Open Heart, Bloodbound, and A Courtesan of Rome. This removes the restrictions placed on the group of being college kids, and therefore are almost fully developed with their magick, giving the possibility of moving the story out of a university setting.

If you've made it all the way here to the bottom, thank you for sticking with me and apologies for spelling/grammar since this has all been on my phone 😂 I think this comprises almost all my notes I've been keeping for the last 2 months. Feel free to agree or disagree; I just wanted to post my thoughts on this book and series that I love so much.

Now, I'm going to go back to my holiday (don't worry, I didn't write all of this while on vacay lol) and I'll try to answer asks when I have downtime.

#the elementalists #beckett harrington #shreya mistry #griffin langley #aster d'yew #playchoices #choices #beckett x mc #griffin x mc #shreya x mc #aster x mc #zeph hernandez #atlas ernhardt #te

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badgalkatzha · 5 years

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What's up Alpha Gang!! Welcome back to my channel if you're new here hi i'm BadgalKatzha but feel free to call me Kiki this is my corner of beauty where i do reviews, full faces of brands, challenges, transformations, 8/10 hr wear test and much more if you like what you see and wants to be part of the Alpha Gang u just need to hit da subscribe button and bell so u don't miss any of my videos you can also follow me in IG BadgalKatzha where i have my IGTV/KIKISGLAMTV where i also have more makeup related content. So without any further do's let's get started

I present you Anastasia Beverly Hills Luminous Set. I want to call this products a face set cuz is all about face. I went a lil crazy buying from ABH but honestly it was needed from me to do so ahahahha anyways let's focus on the real tea Anastasia Beverly Hills released their first foundations and setting powders for us we have so many shades available in both products.The foundation is luminous giving you a natural finish. The formula is longwearing w/medium coverage very dewy apparently you won't cake have flashbacks or oxidation the foundation retails for 38 dollars the setting powder comes in 5 shades light to dark retailing for 36 dollars da brightens absorbs oils and minimizes shine leaving a matte finish also the setting powder blurs imperfections and supposedly makes the makeup last longer mind you Anastasia Beverly Hills did this set for people with dry up to normal skin yaz just like fenty however the difference is this is a Luminous formula meaning the skin would have this wet or shiny look. Oily skin people like me we would have to set this foundation to the gods to maybe have a good experience and that's where the abh powder enters the game so let's get started y'all

I'm blending the foundation shade 400N to my skin i can tell quickly is very medium coverage so if you're into full coverage i reccomend u apply this twice blend nicely and u will get the coverage desired the natural-ish finish is not da bad i lowkey like it cuz summer is about looking more dewy and natural for me right of the back i haven't experience any redness reaction while blending witch is awesome the foundation blur my pores very quickly and feels lighter in my skin not like a matte foundation da is more heavy makin u feel makeup is in ur face i have oily skin n so far the formula is working pretty good no oxidation or flashback yet

I'm baking now using ABH powder in shade Deep Peach issa warm peach color for the medium/tan shade section i will leave this to set for 5 minutes in case y'all are wondering this setting powder comes in different shades to complement the foundation of your choosing we have Translucent, Vainilla, Ivory, Deep Peach and Golden Orange it feels very lightweight not heavy in the skin witch is great cuz theirs some powders out in the market da are heavy and instead of lifting your cheekbones they do the opposite ok luvz i'm going to finish the rest of my makeup off camera and i'll be right back already doing the first check-in cuz if chu didn't read the tittle i'm doing a 8hr wear test so see u in a bit!

Ok my luvz i'm back with chu sorry da i'm not facing the camera but ur girl here is HOT and the sun is rlly fucking me up cuz she's in ma face ahahaha this is my first check-in w/chu It's been 2 hours cuz that's exactly what it took me to get ready daz how it is w/me if you have long hair u will understand my struggle but let's talk about the ABH powder first when i blended the powder in my skin and brush off after baking this is definitely a mattifying powder it blends quickly it doesn't feel drying in the skin and is really smoothing it looks bright but natural-ish at the same time i'm impress w/this dewy look right now u guys i luv this medium coverage look is not cakey no oxidation it doesn't feel heavy on my skin also i think ABH did some rlly good formulas cuz the makeup looks even more beautiful in photos as well i luv the fact the foundation is buildable to super full coverage or if u are like me into natural dewy look i thought i would not like this luminous foundation and mattifying powder combo but it does prove to be good combination for now cuz it give me da natural-ish finish so those are my thoughts in my first check-in w/chu guys i can't film where i'm going cuz issa exclusive event however my last check-in will be in my filming room so i'll see u there

Ok my luvz! I'm back in my filming room is already night time here in Sulani 8hrs have pass meaning i'm ready to take this makeup off take a bubble bath n sleep naked in my bed for hours but for now let's spill opinions like i said before i never thought i would like the luminous+matte combo but this products changed my mind what i think needs to be keep in mind is the setting powder is not da mattifying after couple of hours meaning mattifying powders tend to last like 6hrs at least on me i did get oily in my forehead, undereyes and nose areas nothing major just a small amount i luv how the foundation cover everything and didn't move or my undertones pick thru if i look so oily is cuz i use the ABH shimmer body oil da from what i'm noticing works amazing i think this foundation is more for going out to events, dinners, dates things da ain't everyday basics for me it doesn't look skin like maybe for y'all cuz of the beauty lights cuz u can definitely notice i'm wearing foundation is not da seamless however i still think it looks pretty good in certain areas like my cheekbones, neck and chin no fine lines at all it definitely keep da dewy look if you're a oily skin person like me but with high or medium level get some blotting paper to absorb the oil without affecting the makeup or blotting powder like from Fenty Beauty just giving tips to y'all

Overall if you're interested in getting the Anastasia Beverly Hills Luminous Set and you're oily skin be sure to do touch-ups with blotting paper or blotting powder to absorb da oil and make da makeup look last lil bit longer if you're a dry skin person go for it however keep in mind you might get cakey do the mattifying powder i like the foundation more than the powder i like the dewy natural-ish look i had for 6 hours the powder not so much it didn't lasted more it lasted like 4 hours i will continue using these products separately to see how they perform i think the powder might work well w/matte foundation so my final thoughts are this products are a B+ to me i reccomend just to give a try separately to see how they perform w/the products u have in your beauty rooms however if you want to use this as a set be conscious about what can happen with your skin type alright you guys this is the end of this video thank you so much for watching i hope you enjoy your time here w/me i'll see you in the next one 🐺💋

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theemichelleb · 4 years

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Truths, Friends, and Relationships

Aaaaannnndddd scene!

You’re dating someone that you’re in love with and you’ve known for a substantially long time. Introduce them to your friends, they know your family, you’re thinking bout forever as we often do, and everything is truly beautiful and amazing. You’re on cloud nine and nothing can pop your bubble, or so you believe. One of your best friends, however, discovers some sort of truth about this person that you love and is now stuck between whether to tell you what has happened or let you continue and move forward in your happiness none the wiser. This person you believe to be your soulmate has done something absolutely horrifying, disrespecting you and your relationship.

What would you want your best friend to do? Tell you a truth that wrecks your entire fairytale or let you live in a lie? And if/when they tell you, how do you handle that situation?

I’ve been this friend tooooooo many times… I’m tired of it!

One of the absolutely hardest things to do is cause pain for someone you truly care about and love. I know too many people that would rather live in the gray area of unspoken truths to protect a well crafted reality, but please… don’t do me any favors and try to spare my feelings if you find yourself in this predicament. I think we as women accept too much when it comes to the idea of love and it’s foolish. I get the fairytale is the goal and what you’ve always wanted since you were little, but there are things more important than staying in something simply because time was invested.

I need to know who I’m dealing with to then decide if I want to move forward and continue on the path I’m on or let it go and find a new one. Don’t take on the burden of my future and my happiness because that’s NOT your weight to carry. I feel like I hear men complain bout how women always ask for the truth and then can’t handle it… valid point LOL, but don’t group me in that category. The truth is the absolute most valuable thing to me, be real, be brutal if you need to, and let me deal with my emotions and how I receive that on my own.

I am an advocate for honesty and having all sides of a situation to make a logical and well thought out decision. Hence my persistence in being honest with people when they choose to be with someone I do or don’t like. Not that your relationship is my business, let whomever you please make you happy by all means, but if you mean the world to me and I love you like family I want to see you be great and be the amazing King and/or Queen I know you are.

I’ve held in feelings from some of these situations for a long time, and to be honest I always wonder if I made the right decision. I’ve lost friends from realities that were just nasty and that sucks, but the lesson learned from that is they weren’t really friends.

I’ve had friends who’s significant other’s have approached me privately in some really foul ways, I’ve had friends date guys that I’ve discovered cheated on them, I’ve had to tell friends when their significant others lied to them in MAJOR ways, and I’ve even had situations where I was dating someone and their friend did some foul stuff towards me where I had to tell my significant other like ya mans is foul… deal with that!

After college I had a roommate situation that ended so terribly. Within that living situation we had typical issues that occur with friends that choose to live together. The eruption of the situation occurred when her boyfriend at the time chose to approach me privately in an inappropriate manner. Now, I’m here stuck on how to be gentle with a really offed up situation. She was literally my BEST FRIEND, no matter what may have been going on I still loved her very much and wanted what was best for her. So, I told her the truth. I didn’t give her all the details, I think certain things don’t need to be repeated once they’ve exited someone’s mouth but that’s just me.

Thinking back on the situation, I’m glad I did what I did because it cleared my conscience of a negative situation and pain that was weighing on my heart in ways it shouldn’t have, and honestly, if were her I’d want my best friend to be real with me… like you’re dating a fuckboy. Thanks for that info sis, let me work out my next steps kind of thing. I often think back to that relationship and wonder what I could have done to change the outcome and the truth is, there was nothing I could have done differently.

Something to always keep in mind when dealing with people is, the only person you can control is you. If you did your part to wash your hands of the shadiness and take yourself out of a bad situation, good.

I lost what I thought was a good friend, even a sister in certain ways to a situation I never asked to be in. I’m not sure how she feels about it, but seems like she’s happy with her decisions and that’s amazing! I’m here for doing what’s best for you to rock your happy high and proud. Which she definitely did, they’re now married, hopefully happily, and prayerfully with his eyes kept in their home. I mean, what do I know anyway? I’m extra single and I’m not even on marriage’s radar LOL.

I know this topic gets buzz a lot and there are so many different viewpoints on this, but how do you feel about it? If you were or if you have been in my position would you have told? If you were or if you have been in her position would would you have wanted me to? And on top of that what would that have meant for the friendship vs your romantic relationship? Drop comments below or on my IG post and lets start a convo!

No matter what anybody says, I think we as women need to protect one another with honesty. There’s already so much against us, we don’t need to be against each other as well. Like I said, I’ve been in this type of situation a few times, and every time I’ve been upfront and honest about it. I DON’T WANT NO SMOKE! Definitely don’t want anybody thinking I wanted to take something from them or provide information that could potentially ruin something they love.

And to be clear, when I say I’ve been in this position multiple times, I’ve also been in situations where I knew somebody cheated on a friend of mine and situations where I knew somebody lied to a friend of mine about something big. These issues are crazy, and if marriage is in the picture, TELL ME! I don’t have time for the nonsense lol.

I wish nothing but the best to them and their love, black love is DOPE no matter where it is as long as it’s true, seriously.

Be D.O.P.E.

#love #black love #black people #black women #black man #friendships #friends #best friends #bestfriends #Signs

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twdmusicboxmystery · 6 years

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9x06: Details - A Lot of Them!

Okay, you know how yesterday, I said I didn't have much to say about this episode? Yeah, I lied. I re-watched yesterday, when I wasn't super tired and hadn’t had such a long day, I found TONS to talk about.

And yes, this will be kind of long.

***As always, spoilers abound for 9x06, so don’t read until you’ve watched! You’ve been warned!***

Daryl:

Daryl’s tent at the beginning reminded me a lot of the tents we saw in 4x01 and the parking lot at Grady. Just saying.

Of course he was fishing, which I naturally want to relate to Oceanside. But more importantly, we saw him standing in water, and Beth = water.

Then there’s his new poncho. I honestly hadn’t thought too much about it until I saw an edit someone made on IG. They changed his poncho to red and gave it a “Little Red Riding Hood” caption. Now, some of you may remember me doing Little Red Riding Hood posts a long time ago. (X, X) Like, before S6 aired. Mine were based around Red Poncho Guy in 5b. But when I saw that edit, I realized something. We saw a red poncho in Beth’s cell and then Red Poncho Guy in 5b, who Daryl saw briefly and then lost track of. Kinda like Beth. So, what if the red poncho represents Beth’s missing/kidnapped arc? Then maybe Daryl’s green poncho (opposite color) represents that she’s about to return.

I think I've talked about Songbird enough for you to know what I think it means: songbird = Beth and Beth is about to appear.

One thing I didn't talk about it in as much detail as is the walker attached to the tree that Daryl sees. This is a major parallel to the blonde woman he and Aaron saw in 5x15 that was tied to a tree. You’ll notice a pattern as we go along of symbols we saw in S5 and haven’t seen since that are cropping up now in S9. Seems to me like things that happened in S5 are about to come back around.

Michonne:

Michonne finds the van in the woods. The box she digs through is a cigar box, which is a callback to Abraham. But the box itself really reminded us of the music box. The color and size are roughly similar. The things she takes out of it are all highly symbolic.

We see Rick's ring on Michonne’s necklace. (Wedding Ring Theory)

1). The sheriff. I think this could feasibly represent two different things. A) That the new sheriff is about to appear. In other words, it represents Beth. B) Obviously Rick. It definitely represents Rick for Michonne. I think it also foreshadows Rick's return. In a way, she's holding onto this in the same way Daryl holds onto Beth’s knife.

2) The four-leaf clover. (X) Not only is it green, but represents Luck (X), and then there’s all the Irish symbolism, such as Paddy Reilly, etc. Like maybe the person all that symbolism ties to is about to appear.

3) The yo-yo. I totally didn’t catch this when I first watched the episode, but they talked about it on TTD. It must be important if they’re drawing attention to it. The only other time we saw a yo-yo on the show was in S5. They made a big deal about it in the show, but then we never saw it again. The only thing I could think of back then was that, because yo-yos go down and then come back up again, it represented that the person about to go down (Beth) would bounce back up again at some point. Once more, we haven't seen any yo-yos since then. Now, were suddenly seeing one. That's a big deal.

(I tried and couldn’t get a non-blurry pic of the yo-yo, but it’s red and green.)

Michonne finds toilet paper. See the Toilet Paper theory, plus I talked about this in THIS ASK. I'm not sure what it means but I have a halfhearted forecast for it. I’ve noticed that toilet paper is often seen at the beginning of a long journey. Could that mean a long journey for Michonne? In the comics, Michonne is with Ezekiel rather than Rick. When Ezekiel dies, Michonne leaves TF for a long time. I wonder if they'll keep that arc, but in this case, it's Rick that “died” for Michonne, rather than Ezekiel. If Michonne leaves, that might be what the TP is about. It would also leave leadership of Alexandria wide open.

This is yet another reason why I don't think Ezekiel will die. It could be that Rick's "death" replaced Ezekiel's death, especially where Michonne is concerned. I also noticed that just before this episode, the official TWD account did posts saying, “Who Will Lead?” They had one for each Daryl, Carol, Ezekiel, and Michonne. Asking who will lead is very interesting because it's basically asking who will step into Rick's (or the sheriff's) shoes.

I found Michonne’s post to be particularly interesting. The caption says, “She’s got what it takes, but what will she choose?” As though she may choose specifically not to lead. I think that will have something to do with her arc this season and I'm interested to see where it goes.

We see that the bridge was never fixed. Again, I need to re-vamp my Bridge Theory, but it’s become clear to me that the bridge represents the community or TF as a whole. Basically, as I said before, it broke when Rick blew up the bridge. It has never been fixed. Which is a symbolic way of saying that the four communities have fractured and have no cohesion anymore. Ezekiel says, "If we could bring the communities back together as full partners…" So, the communities definitely aren’t working together anymore.

Michonne is being very negative in this episode and refuses to give Magna’s group the time of day. I did like the she was sharp as ever and knew Magnet was hiding things, but she's definitely being close minded. Rosita later tells Gabriel that Michonne knows prison doesn't really mean anything and she riled up the crowd on purpose.

We don't really understand the reason for Michonne’s actions until Judith hears her talking to herself.

I breezed over this yesterday, but I think it's important to know what’s she saying when Judith listens in. It's obvious that Michonne is talking to Rick, who she believes is dead. The “him” she mentions is obviously Carl. This is what she says. "Thought I was done with this. Done with talking to you and never hearing you answer. But I watched what you did to protect him…nothing else mattered except him… And I need to be that now for them. And I know it's not what we planned, not what we wanted, but you weren't here. Neither was he. You didn't have to go through the…". At that point, the floorboards creak under Judith and Michonne cuts off.

Okay, a couple of takeaways from this:

1) Michonne is acting as she is because she believes she needs to protect her children at all costs. She’s basically become ruthless Rick in order to protect Judith and RJ. It’s what she believes she needs to do right now, even though it's not the future she and Rick envisioned together.

2) Then there's that last line. Something definitely went down in the six years since Rick left, and from this, it was something that happened after he left because she said he wasn't there for it. I'm willing to bet whatever it is, how she got that X-scar, and also is the reason for what Carol says about people going out and never come back. We just don't know exactly what happened yet.

I wonder if this entire season is going to be full of flashbacks telling us what happened during those six years. I kinda hope so, because essentially what we’ll have to see with Beth. They skipped over whatever happened during those missing 17 days, and they’ll have to go back and show us what it was. So, if the entire season is structured around figuring out something that was skipped, maybe we’ll see other things that have been skipped over as well.

Incidentally, Michonne has done this before: talked to the dead. Remember, she told Rick early on in 3x12, Clear, that she has. “I talk to my dead boyfriend sometimes. It happens.” So I thought it was an interesting continuity of her character to show her doing this with Rick, now. Also a very obvious way to show that she 100% believes he’s dead.

I thought Judith and Michonne’s conversation on the stairs was heartbreaking. It made me sad when Judith said she was starting to forget Rick’s and Carl’s voices. “I’m not trying to, but they keep fading away.” But Judith is a lot like Carl. She’s growing up in this world, so it’s second nature to her. That makes her strong, but also less sentimental and utterly unapologetic about who she is. I’m loving Judith so much!

When we saw the X scar on Michonne, I also noticed a butterfly picture of some kind of butterfly picture on the wall behind her. (Transformation?)

And the curtains in her room look a LOT like the wallpaper at the funeral home in Alone. They’re black and white, rather than green and yellow, but covered with a very similar bird and vine/tree pattern.

Let's talk about callbacks season four. There's a Council ruling at Alexandria, much as there was in S4 at the prison. Also much like at the prison, there's no clear leader. Remember in S4, the council led because Rick stepped down from leadership. He didn't really become the sheriff again until after disaster struck in the MSF. So, perhaps we won't see the sheriff emerge until then.

It's also interesting to note that Michonne is in pretty much the same place she was in at the start of S4. She's obviously more angry right now, but her horse is almost exactly the same color as the one she rode in 4x01. We even see her ride into Alexandria at the beginning of this episode in a similar fashion.

So, Michonne isn't really leading. She's going outside the walls a lot and still struggling with things, much as she did in S4. She’s KIND OF leading in name (FG calls her the “head of security”) but hasn’t truly stepped into Rick’s leadership shoes either.

Carol:

Carol sees a flower. My first (and somewhat rebellious) thought was that it's definitely NOT Cherokee Rose (Hehe). But it’s growing up through cracks, which goes with the theme of light coming through the cracks.

Henry calls Ezekiel and Carol Mom and Dad. We also see an entwined-fingers hand hold for Carzekiel. All is right with the world. ;D

They’re holding some kind of fair at the kingdom. Not sure what that's about, but they keep talking about it. Henry leaves with Carol to go to Hilltop and apprentice to Earl (that's the guy that tried to kill Maggie but she ended up letting him out of prison). Henry says he'll be back before the fair starts. Sounds kind of ominous to me.

They also talk about dreamers. Henry is a dreamer. Carol says he gets it from Ezekiel, but it's not a bad thing. And the world could use more dreamers. Beth was most definitely a dreamer. Once again, we’re seeing that Daryl and Carol are very alike, which is why they wouldn't make good romantic partners. They’re too alike. They both need someone more optimistic to complement their tendency toward darkness. I’ll illustrate in a second how much Henry is like Beth.

Ezekiel also makes a point here of saying that Hilltop is distant. Remember in 9x05, Daryl mentioned, just before Rick blew the bridge, that the walker horde had run right through Hilltop? So, I’m thinking Hilltop probably had to be completely rebuilt. I think we can assume it was, because Michonne is taking Magna’s group there. Still, I’m curious to what’s happening at Hilltop these days.

After Jed’s group gets a hold of Carol and Henry, we get a quick look at the vegetables Carol was transporting. They include tomatoes and carrots. I think the tomatoes represent the communities prospering and moving forward. But the carrots? They’ve always been a Beth symbol. Remember, The King of Carrot Flowers from Alone?

Here, we got more information about stuff that's been going on during the six years we don't know about yet. Jed, chewing on a match, says the Sanctuary went bust. Before Rick blew the bridge, they talked about how nothing would grow there, so it’s not surprising it would be defunct now, but still, it’s something else we didn't see.

Jed also said they got hungry and ate horses. Carol says they could have joined the other communities (and several of them did; Laura and some other recognizable saviors are at Alexandria) but obviously Jed and his followers opted for a Negan mentality and don't want to be a part of a community. They’d rather just take people's stuff.

Then Jed said, "You spared me back in the day, so I'll do the same for you." He’s probably referring to when Rick and Carol got the better of them in 9x04, but we still don’t know what happened between Carol and this group in 9x06. The last we saw, shots were fired that brought the walkers toward the bridge and led to Rick blowing it up. I’m wondering if what Carol does to them has to do with her blaming them for Rick’s death. Not sure, though.

Obviously Carol burning the Savior is a callback to S4 with Karen and David as well as to Carol burning Saviors in 6x13.

I’m very curious about what Carol is doing. Even before they were tricked by the saviors, she’d already told Henry they were going somewhere other than Hilltop first. She'd always planned to go visit Daryl, and I wonder why. She must have a reason.

Then we get to Henry and Carol making camp for the night. This is where I became convinced that Henry is something of a Beth proxy. He said, “I don’t get it.” The opposite of Beth’s, “I get it now,” but still. The parallel is there. He also tells Carol, “That’s bullshit.” He’s calling her on her crap, and he’s 100% right because she says she let Jed and the Saviors go, but then goes and kills them while Henry sleeps. Also, Henry and Carol hang cans for an alarm. We saw that prominently with Beth and Daryl in Alone.

I’m kind of thinking we might lose Henry. I hope not, but I just felt an ominousness in his story line this week. There was a lot of emphasis on Carzekiel and him as a family, on keeping him safe. They didn’t like the idea of him going to Hilltop to train with Earl. I really hope I’m wrong, but I’m wondering if we’ll lose Henry, which would put Carol and Ezekiel in a super-dark place again. Let’s hope not.

Rosita, Father Gabriel, & Eugene:

Just for an instant, we see feet running at the beginning of this episode.

Even though it's just feet that we see (not arms or torsos) it reminded me of the opening credits Beth-flash. In this case, it was Rosita, Aaron, Eugene and Laura looking for Judith.

Eugene carries a deer. This could be an example of the Deer Theory. I'm not sure who it would apply to here, but Luke calls it a buck, so I think it works. Maybe foreshadow of Beth about to appear? Or it may extend into further episodes. Not sure yet.

Magna’s group calls walkers “sickos.” That struck me as hilarious because my 4-year-old nephew is going through a phase where he calls everybody sickos. ;D

They show the passage of time by the length of people's hair. Michonne’s dreads are longer, Daryl's hair has gotten really long in the back, though you can always tell that from the front.

Obviously, Judith. Eugene is sporting a long braid, Native American-style.

Father Gabriel wants to use a radio to find more people. I noticed a lot of symbolism that we saw in FTWD this past season, and this reminded me of that. This could also be part of the Communications Theme.

Rosita and FG are a couple. I know not everybody is a fan, but I thought they were kinda cute together.

Father Gabriel says, "I think Michonne is wrong. I think they're good people." So, more of Beth's “there still good people” theme. But that's just the beginning. Rosita and FG’s conversation was super interesting.

Talking about the transmitter, Rosita says, "But trying to find people and reach out to them with that thing? It's like stumbling around in the dark." It reminded me of Beth stumbling around in the dark with Noah when they were trying to escape Grady.

FG then answers, "But think what we might find. Who we might find. What else might be out there." So, we have several different references to Beth in the scene. There's the “good people” remark, the “stumbling around in the dark” remark (which may or may not be around about Beth; I may be reaching).

Plus, we had the broken picture in the background.

Remember this window was broken when FG and Sasha fought over the gun in 5x16. So, yet another S5 reference (we seriously haven’t seen that picture since) plus we’re pretty sure the picture represents Beth. It has white cypress trees and it was shot with a bullet. My point is that we have a lot of Beth references in this scene, and FG says with emphasis, “Just think WHO we might find.” I think that’s super-significant.

So I’m feeling like this relay Eugene and Rosita set up may be how the group comes back into contact with Beth again.

Eugene is trying to get up his courage to tell Rosita how he feels about her. I thought it was interesting that she seemed to want him to tell her as well.

I felt like there was a lot of symbolism in what they said about the walker tracks. They notice hundreds of walker tracks heading East. Eugene is comforted by the fact that he and Rosita need to head west to get to the water towers, where they set up the relay. Then the walker herd ends up coming toward them anyway. Eugene says it must have done a U-turn. I'm assuming that's probably be because the Whisperers are doing something to push the walkers back that way. Still, we have the east-west symbolism.

The more I watch it, the more I think this sequence with Rosita and Eugene is super-significant and a major foreshadowing, which is not necessarily a good thing. First, they’re near graveyard. I had to look two or three times very carefully, but the water towers are directly next to a graveyard.

So, we have the Communication theme (because of the relay) a water symbol (the towers) and a graveyard that looks a lot like the graveyard in Alone.

We also saw a ladder fall and Eugene hurting his knee.

We saw a ladder fall around Maggie in S6, and I don’t think we ever nailed down exactly what the ladder symbolizes in TWD. But at the least, it means they're in danger. Maggie almost died when the ladder fell in S6 and Eugene almost died here because the ladder fell.

Okay guys, I’m gonna put an unpopular opinion forth here. I think we saw a lot of foreshadows in this episode that Eugene is going to die. I love Eugene these days, especially his long hair and seeing him as a bad ass, so I don't want him to die, but I'm worried he might. I mean, there's the graveyard, there's him falling and hurting his leg, the ladder, him offering to sacrifice himself for Rosita and trying to admit his undying love for her first. It all felt really ominous to me.

Then there's the fact that they used Rosita and Eugene to introduce the Whisperers. I feel like whoever they used, it was always going to be significant. The could’ve Daryl and Carol to introduce them, Magna’s group, or any character on the show, but they used Rosita and Eugene. So I’m wondering if, rather than Rosita and Ezekiel losing their heads to the Whisperers, it might be Rosita and Eugene. Again, I hope I’m wrong and, you know, nobody else dies EVER on the show, but I feel like that's what they might be telling us. Guess we’ll find out soon whether I’m right or not.

One more thing about this scene with Rosita and Eugene that made my jaw drop, though I’m actually not 100% on it. I noticed at one point, they focused on a shot of Rosita and Eugene’s feet as they ran. And I thought I saw something on the ground. So, I looked more closely. I’m not sure what this is, but there seems to be something metallic on the ground where they’re walking. I even think there might be two things, one on each side, and Rosita and Eugene walk between them. Is it possible that…this is a bear trap? If so, that’s HUGE! It’s a major symbol of Beth that TD has known about for a long time. But again, I’m not positive that’s what it is. Any insights?

Magna’s Group:

We always love music references, and Luke is a music teacher. What really jumped out at me, though, was when they asked him, “Who are you now?” he answers, “I’m still a music teacher.” You know, like “I still sing.”

And we can link the title to Beth as well. Remember when she talked o Daryl in Still, she said, “You gotta stay who you are, not who you were.” So the question, “Who are you, now?” goes along with that theme.

I thought Magna’s prison tattoo was interesting. Michonne said the four dots represented the four walls and in the middle one represented the prisoner inside. It made me think of Four Walls and a Roof (5x03). There's been plenty of conjecture about what the title meant. Maybe the whole time, the idea was that it represented a prison. (Also another callback to S5).

Which brings me to my next point. While arguing against letting Magna’s group stay, Michonne says, "I remember." 1) It has to do with what happened during the six-year time jump that they haven't told us yet. Michonne seems to be referencing a point when they let someone in and it went wrong. Probably the same thing she’s talking to Rick about later. 2) It hearkens back to the title in 5B. 5x12 was called Remember, so yet another reference to S5. 3) Beth said the exact same thing to Daryl in Still. "I remember."

Siddiq says the injured woman in Magna’s group (Miko) has a concussion and is dehydrated, but should be back on her feet soon. That made me think of Beth at Grady because she was also told she had a concussion, which she probably didn't. Can you see the parallels? Miko is part of a group, has a head injury, and wakes up in a new community.

Not sure what my opinion of Magna is yet. So far, she seems like a little bit of a loose cannon. She was about to break into Michonne’s house with the knife necklace. What did she plan to do? It was only when she saw Michonne’s son that she stopped, changed her mind, and went to knock at the front door. Hmm.

I also caught another theme at this part. When her and Michonne are talking, she says she’s done terrible things. Michonne answers that they all have. It’s the only reason they’re still here. Then Michonne says, “They aren’t always easy to live with.” To which Magna replies, “But it’s better than losing everything.”

I think that will be a theme this season. They have to learn to live with the things they’ve done. It may not be easy, but if they don’t, they could lose everything.

Reasons I think still Rick will be back:

1) In the opening montage, Michonne says, "I'm still here too." The “I'm still here” is a theme we've heard a lot in the show. When someone says it, it means they've survived and are still fighting. Michonne says, "I know you're still here. I'm still here too." She doesn't necessarily mean she thinks is alive, but I feel like it's symbolism that Rick will be back.

2) There's also the 7x12 symbolism. Remember Michonne thought Rick was dead and was utterly devastated, but he came back out through the yellow door (yellow equals escape) and they had a reunion. It's really only a matter time before he shows up again.

Judith and Negan

She reads him her math problem, and we get some more A/B symbolism. She says, “Airplane A and Airplane B are 1000 miles apart. If airplane A is flying east at 500 mph, and Airplane B is flying west at 650 mph…” She doesn't finish the question because Negan cuts her off. If the writers wanted us to hear the question, we would have. The only reason to hear the rest of the problem was to get that A/B and east-west symbolism in. Negan says she should book a seat on Airplane C because it sounds like one hell of a collision.

So, the idea is that these two planes are on a collision course. We have A, which we think represents leadership, and B, which is more like a follower. But we've also thought B might represent Beth and C represents TF and/or where they’re living. So, together with Daryl saying a storm is coming, it seems like a lot of things are about to collide here. Just not sure what form that will take yet.

Negan tells Judith his twisted little story about how he used to bring home stray dogs. Okay, so first of all, DOGS! (Sirius/Dog Star Symbolism). He uses his story to illustrate that even if the people seem to be good, it only takes one to kill everybody. That could most definitely foreshadow something.

Finally, the timeline was really jacked up. We saw three days in the Michonne/Alexandria story line. The first day where Magna’s group is brought to Alexandria, the second day where the trial is held, and then the third day where Michonne offers to take them to Hilltop and they set off.

Carol/Henry only went through two days. We saw them in the morning of the first day when they left the Kingdom and ran into the Saviors, at night, and then the next day where they meet Daryl.

For Rosita and Eugene, we saw only one day, and it wasn’t over yet at the end of the episode. No idea if that will be important moving forward, but I’ll keep an eye on it.

Okay, I’ll shut up now. Lots of setups in this episode for the coming arc. But definitely lots more interesting symbols than I thought there would be. Thoughts?

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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