#ill rb again later im sure

[astrumocs]

SLAMS IN LOST FOR SEIFER THANKS

Prompt 45 / Lost - Seifer Sanaca:

Major Characters: Otavah Minera (The Reshaper) and Seifer Sanaca Minor Character: Leiere Kedrie (NPC)

Setting: The Exchanges Fleet Vessel; Very distant past

—– Google Docs Link —–

“Up for a spar, General?” Spoke up the voice of Seifer, as he absently rotated his wrist, causing the blue metal of his dagger to gleam under the artificial lights-- unlike his short sword, which rested still in his other hand.

Two members of The Exchange's crew had just finished with a little sparring match of their own, ceasing the fight only when General Minera finally called it a draw. The combatants had shaken hands with sweaty palms and through labored breaths, but they both seemed content with the fact that neither of them had taken a loss in their friendly battle.

The General liked to watch their crew duke it out, stating that it was 'not only good for morale but made for excellent entertainment as well'. No one could really disagree with that sentiment either, it was a solid point. A lot of the crew would often stop in to watch a match going down, it really was a strong point of camaraderie on the ship.

Rising up from their lounging position off to the side of the ring, Otavah smiles cheekily at their lieutenant. “Think you can handle me at my best, Seifer?”

He lets out a puff of air from his nose in amusement, “I won’t start flying if you don’t.”

“You drive a hard bargain, Celeste, but I’ll try and hold off for your sake.”

The General has always been a bit of a tease, and it rarely mattered who he was talking to, Seifer was certainly no exception anyway. No one would expect Otavah to pass on the use of his wings, the man never put them away, and they were essential to the style of fighting he’d cultivated over the sweeps.

That being said, it wouldn’t kill him not to fly 15 feet up in the air, where the only one who could fight properly was him. Even he could admit things might get boring in that case, no matter how much the General loved playing a little dirty.

As the two men step up to take their opposing spots in the ring, their eyes meet. Seifer shakes his head slightly to knock his poof of a ponytail over his shoulder to rest against his back, then brings both of his weapons up in a readied stance.

Meanwhile, Otavah puts out both of his arms straight in front of him, rotating them in a swift motion so they cross over each other, hands now gripping an apparated pole blade and untwisting with a flourish to be in a more battle-ready position. It was hard to deny that despite how extra he was in everything he did, it was rather impressive to watch.

Seifer's mind wasn’t particularly focused on that aspect of things, although that didn’t stop Leiere, a member of his own squad, from cheering out, “Woohoo! Go, General! Kick his ass!” with all four of his arms fist pumping in the air for added emphasis.

Seeing the pleased and smug look that came over Otavah’s face was enough to make Seifer playfully roll his eyes. “Thanks for the damn vote of confidence, Lee! The support is noted!”

In that brief moment of distraction, Otavah already starts to play. Large, shimmering wings flit in small movements to aid in his languid approach. Seifer only has a moment to react to the pole blade curving up for his jaw, his arm twitching into a reaction to parry with his dagger. The metal clashes loudly, and several of the crew members around hoot and holler at the clutch counter.

There’s a brief pause where ringed violet eyes meet bronze crescents and General Minera laughs. Though the two of them are holding against each other in a seemingly effortless display, both are exerting enough strength to keep their strifes pressed together with a slight tremble on both sides.

“Already playing dirty, Otavah? I expected better.” Seifer says through a smile.

“Did you now? Your mistake, then, Celeste.” he retorts, a matching smile set on his own features.

In their brief back and forth, Seifer had moved his other hand slowly up, only to then bring it down in a swift move to try and slice into his combatant's shoulder. Otavah doesn’t even look toward the incoming threat as his wings flutter, allowing him to shift his shoulder back and away from harm. Without pause, he follows the movement up with a rotation of his blade to the left, forcing the sword into the ground.

“Shit-” is all Seifer has time to say before he has to make an evasive maneuver of his own, bending back at the waist to try and dodge the pole as it comes back for the upswing to the right. His reaction is only a fraction too late, but it’s enough that the weapon draws a small cut into his jaw, letting neon violet drops fly into the air.

At the first draw of blood, there are wide eyes and even more cheers from the onlookers. Things continue this way for a while, easily for over twenty minutes, as the two narrowly dodge each other's well-timed movements- or they seemingly fail to account for something, and they acquire a knick from one of the various weapons at play.

Moments occur where Seifer can feel the haze of magic buzzing around certain movements, but he keeps his mouth shut and allows himself moments of pride when his skills seem to keep him level with the mild fuckery afoot. Those continued moments of added confidence eventually become Seifer’s downfall, however, as his eyes track a repeated movement that the General had been using to go for a chest hit.

Seifer moves to parry it as he had in previous times, but the blade never actually makes contact with his dagger, and he notices the change too late.

Using a dancer's step, Otavah suddenly pivots in a spin to Seifer’s left, letting his right leg slide along the floor to bring him down low where his pole blade then sweeps behind his Lieutenants legs and knocks him down onto his back with a resounding thud. As the air comes back to Seifer’s lungs, he sees the tip of his opponent's blade hovering over his chest.

Several voices let out ‘ooh’s’ of sympathy, and a couple of others suck in air through their teeth at the sound. Just as many others also offer up a round of cheers or applause for the performance that the two of them gave.

“I believe you’ve lost, my dearest lieutenant.”

“Yeah, well,” A grunt as he pushes himself up onto his elbows, “I’d say I did pretty good given the integrity of my opponent, wouldn’t you?”

Another rich chuckle escapes his superior at that. “If I didn’t know better, I would think you were insulting me, Seifer.”

Otavah pulls his blade away and vanishes it off to gods only knows where before reaching out an olive branch of assistance: offering to help Seifer up. The violet reaches up to take it before it suddenly gets pulled away from reach. Another roll of Seifer's eyes, “You’re such an asshole, you know that?”

The Generals eyes glitter in amusement before reextending his hand. “Only messing with you my friend, no tricks this time.”

A skeptical look levels itself at Otavah for a long moment before Seifer, once again, reaches out to take their hand, and this time he makes contact, smacking their hands together audibly as he’s pulled to his feet.

“Alright, I’m gonna go take one hell of a power nap, if you don’t mind, General.” With that comment, Seifer begins to take his leave, followed quickly by Leiere- who was about to start chatting him up, before a voice calls after them both.

“By all means, Lieutenant,” they shrug, relaxed as always, “but don’t forget that your group is scheduled for a scouting mission at o-800 sharp!”

With a soft groan, Seifer only gives a thumbs-up in reply as the duo turns the corner.

[thoriffix]

you're telling me he gets THREE boyfriends???

words: 4.6k

summary: cole's dad assumes the ninja are dating, which - as far as cole is concerned - is ridiculous. of course, it sends him on a bit of a feelings spiral, and maybe he does in fact have a few crushes he has to deal with.

some polyninja goofs! set vaguely in s2 idk when exactly but uhh theyre living on the bounty and lloyd isnt aged up yet thats all thats important. also im trying out posting full fics on here for the first time! this is also on my ao3 ill link it in the rbs

enjoy!

"So, how are the boys?"

"Ugh, Dad." Cole rolls his eyes. Every time he visits, his dad ends up trying to get him to talk about the other ninja, and he doesn't understand it. "They're fine, same as always. Busy training, probably."

"Shame they never come to visit," Lou comments, sipping his tea. "I really would love to get to know them better."

Cole squints dubiously at his father, who seems to be trying to appear nonchalant. "...Why?"

"Well, why wouldn't I? If my son suddenly came home with one boyfriend I'd like to get to know him, let alone three!"

What.

Cole stares at Lou. He puts his tea cup down and furrows his brow as he tries to process. Dad thinks- okay. Dad thinks the ninja are his… boyfriends? The ninja. All of them. Boyfriends?

"We're not dating, dad," he says, after a solid few seconds of confused silence. Lou tilts his head.

"You're not?" he asks. "None of you?"

"No, none of us!"

Why would he even think that? Do they act like boyfriends? Dad didn't even know he was gay until a few weeks ago. Why would he just assume Cole’s friends were dating him? Or each other, for that matter?

"Well," says Lou, frowning. "I must have misread. Sorry, son."

"That's okay, dad," says Cole. His head is spinning, though. Misread what? Normal, friendly, platonic interactions between four close buddies? How could you possibly misread that? "What, uh- why would you… what made you think that?"

Lou hums, taking another sip of his tea as he thinks about it. Cole finds himself leaning forward in anticipation, and immediately feels weird about it. Why is he excited to know? That's weird. Stop it, Cole.

"You were the happiest I've ever seen you," Lou finally says, and Cole feels his stomach flip. "When you were fighting, yes, but even more so when you were just with them. The way you looked at them, I… well, it reminded me of myself when I first fell in love."

Cole really, truly, has no idea how to feel about that. He stares down into his lap. This isn't exactly a conversation he'd love to be having with the father he's fairly estranged from, anyway. Maybe once they were closer he'd be willing to talk about his nonexistent love life, but apparently it's happening now, because apparently he looks at the other ninja like he's in love with them, which is- well, it's a lot to unpack. 

"Why so interested?" Lou asks teasingly, after Cole hasn't said anything for a few minutes. Cole’s stomach flips again.

"I'm not!" he defends, though he can't really deny that he is. When he thinks about it his heart keeps doing these little flutters. Maybe he just has a heart condition. That's probably more likely. A rare heart condition that only shows symptoms when he thinks about the idea of dating his fellow ninja. The idea of boyfriends. Having boyfriends. Dating them. Maybe even kissing them! He-

Wow, that heart condition sure is a doozy.

"Well, I'm not going to sit around and tell you how it looks," says Lou. "I think you might need to work out how you actually feel."

"Unhelpful, dad," Cole grumbles. His father laughs, and picks his tea back up.

"If you say you're not dating, I believe you. But maybe I wasn't misreading your expressions?" He raises his eyebrows and sips his tea meaningfully. Cole can feel his face going hot.

"Yeah, yeah," he mutters. "I'm changing the subject now. How's the weather been lately?"

–

Later, on the Bounty, Cole can’t stop thinking about it. What the fuck did his dad mean about him and the other ninja? He spends most of the day after he gets home stewing about it, brooding in various spots aboard the ship and generally overthinking. It doesn't make him feel any better in the slightest.

Eventually the others notice, because of course they do, because they share a space of a couple hundred square feet at best. Kai corners him on the deck first.

“Hey, man,” he says, slapping Cole on the back and joining him in peering over the edge of the boat. “You doin’ okay?”

Kai’s picked up a habit of checking in on the others the moment they seem even a little off, and he seems scarily attuned to when they’re not feeling great. It makes Cole smile. He’s a good guy. Much more sensitive and caring than his cocky outward self would have you believe, and Cole’s lucky to get to see it. Lucky to get to see his face, too, cause he’s sure easy on the eyes. And-

Cole’s cheeks go hot. Oh, boy.

“All good!” he replies, maybe a little too squeakily. Kai narrows his eyes suspiciously. His stunning, deep brown eyes. Cole scolds himself mentally. Where is this coming from?

“You went to visit your dad today, right?” asks Kai, and Cole nods. “That go okay?”

“Been worse. We, uh, talked a lot."

“Hey, that’s a start.” Kai smiles lopsidedly and reaches out, covering Cole’s hand with his. His palm is warm and comforting. Cole smiles back. “Wanna come play some games with the guys? We got some time.”

“We should probably be training,” Cole says, raising one eyebrow, but it’s more of a tease than an actual protest. He’d much rather play. If nothing else, it's fun to watch Jay rage when he's losing.

“Eh, what Wu doesn’t know won’t hurt him. C’mon.”

Cole allows himself to be led the relatively short distance from the deck into their room, where Jay and Zane are already battling it out. 

“Ah, hello, Cole,” says Zane, pausing the game and turning to smile up at Cole with that sweet, awkward smile he always has. “Are you alright?”

“I’m peachy, snowflake,” Cole replies, grinning as he sits down between them. Zane tilts his head in apparent confusion. “I’m good. No worries.”

“Good,” says Zane. Kai sits down on Zane’s other side and picks up a spare controller, passing Cole the fourth. Jay nudges him.

“Ready to get your ass kicked?” he asks, smirking, and Cole just smirks back.

“I’d be careful who you threaten, motormouth.”

“Ooh, fighting talk!” exclaims Kai. “C’mon, I wanna get into it already!”

Zane sets up a fresh game. Cole sits there, idly playing with the buttons as he waits, and smiles. He’s got the best friends.

–

It doesn’t entirely clear his mind, but digitally brawling with the other ninja certainly makes him feel a bit better, right up until Wu finds them and scolds them for shirking their duties. He finds himself in the kitchen with Zane, washing dishes as Zane starts to get dinner ready.

“Do not laugh, please,” Zane says shyly. Cole blinks at him, and then suddenly realises that Zane is bashfully tying his pink apron around his waist. He feels guilty immediately.

“I won’t,” he promises. “Sorry for laughing at you for it before.”

“That’s okay. I understand it is a little silly. It’s pink, after all.”

“No, it- it still sucked for us to laugh. You don’t look silly. You, uh- pink suits you.”

It’s nowhere near a lie. Zane looks great in pink. He looks great in anything, honestly. Most of all, he looks great wearing the pleased smile that crosses his face at that. It’s infectious - Cole finds himself smiling too, distracted and scrubbing the same spot on a bowl over and over. He snaps his attention back to the dishes. FSM, what is with him? His dad’s comments must have got in his head. He doesn’t remember ever noticing the others’ appearances this much before, nor feeling this fluttery when he thinks about them. But then again, didn’t he? Weren’t they always this handsome, now that he thinks about it? Maybe the butterflies are new, but they don’t feel out of place, exactly. When he casts his mind back, maybe he does remember feeling a little fluttery whenever Kai puts his hand on his, or Jay poorly trash-talks him, or Zane makes extra dumplings because he knows they’re Cole’s favourite. He stares into the soapy water, suddenly unsure of himself.

“Cole? Are you alright?” Zane asks, placing a cold hand on Cole’s arm and pulling him out of his thoughts. Cole nods.

“Yep,” he says, and it’s not a lie. He’s just… confused, is all. There’s no way his dad was right, right? Not about them dating, of course, but about his, uh… feelings. Wouldn’t that be embarrassing? His dad, who he barely sees, picking up on Cole having a- well, multiple crushes before it even crossed Cole’s mind. “Sorry, Zane. Just thinkin’.”

“No need to apologise,” says Zane. “And, um. Thank you for saying pink suits me. I rather like it.”

He smiles, and then makes a beeline for the stove to start cooking. Cole watches him move perfectly around the kitchen, each movement graceful and well-oiled. The water's long gone cold by the time he actually resumes doing the dishes.

–

Dinner is perfect, as it always is when it's Zane's night to cook. Cole devours his own helping and then a fair bit of Jay's, when he isn't looking. Lloyd watches him sneak food off Jay's plate from across the table, wide-eyed, and then utterly fails to do the same to Nya, who notices immediately.

After the meal, Jay and Cole end up on the deck together, trying to make the most of the time before bed. The sun's gone down, leaving them chugging along through dusky indigo skies, a few stars twinkling above them.

"Don't think I didn't notice you stealing my food all of dinner, mister," Jay says, and Cole grins, embarrassed. Busted. 

"Well, why didn't you stop me then?"

Jay shrugs. "I figured it would mean that you owe me! Besides, I know you love Zane’s cooking."

Cole knows for a fact that Jay also loves Zane's cooking. They all do. He doesn't comment on that, though, just raises an eyebrow instead. "Oh yeah?"

"Yep!"

He doesn't elaborate. Cole chooses to assume he'll be doing Jay's chores tomorrow. He rolls his eyes, and leans over the side of the boat. The moon is so bright tonight, illuminating everything in a pale glow. He chances a glance at Jay out of the corner of his eye, and sure enough; beautiful. Damnit. Why couldn't he have less handsome friends? And kind, too, and funny. And caring. And-

Jay catches him looking and scrunches up his nose, sticking his tongue out. Cole feels his heart skip a beat. 

God damnit.

He has three whole stupid crushes, doesn't he?

And that means his stupid dad was right, too.

Cole stares down at the distant desert below them, slowly passing by. This is stupid. Feelings are stupid. They're his friends - his only friends, not that he really likes to admit it. Well- he still has Wu and Nya and Lloyd, but still. They're his team, for another thing. How's he going to fight effectively alongside them when all of a sudden he gets butterflies looking in their eyes for too long?

Jay pokes him. "Whatcha thinkin' about?"

"Just- stuff," says Cole vaguely. 

"Ooh, mystery man, huh? Bet I can guess what you're thinking about."

"Jay, I-"

"Cake? Video games? The fact that it's your turn to mop the deck this week? Dragons?"

Cole should've known that vagueness would get him nowhere with Jay. Annoying, adorable little shit. Instead he just sighs and nods. "Yeah, uh, all of the above."

"Ha! You're so predictable, Cole."

I guess I am, Cole thinks, leaning on his hand and watching Jay's smug face turn to look back out at the clouds. He's only thinking a little bit about kissing him, which he's going to count as a win. He continues to think about it until they go to bed for the night, but it’s only a little bit, so. He’s doing well.

–

The next evening, Cole finally finds himself alone on the deck of the Bounty, having spent all day in the company of at least one of the other ninja, all of whom are suddenly the most attractive guys in Ninjago and he might be going a little bit crazy. Getting some time alone is rare under normal circumstances, but while dealing with this newest revelation it's nothing short of a godsend. 

He begins pacing up and down the deck, debating just what he's supposed to do now. Right. So maybe, just maybe, he has three new crushes. Or, more like, he has three old crushes that he's only just noticed and is kind of kicking himself about in retrospect. 

He has a few options, Cole supposes.

One, he tells them all how he feels. The idea of this one makes his stomach tie itself into twelve different knots and then throw itself off the side of the ship, so he's not really sure it's ideal. But then again, if it went well… he doesn't dare think about it. The odds of it going the way he'd like it to are so tiny that he doesn't even bother properly entertaining the idea. This option isn't really an option. 

Two, he picks one of them to confess to and buries the other two crushes down deep and doesn't think about them ever. This one is more plausible, even if the idea of choosing between them seems impossible. Any time he thinks he's settled on one of them, one of the others will float into his mind and his heart will do the flutter again and he'll be back at square one. Besides, he doesn't even know if any of them would like him back. This option isn't ideal, but it's there.

Three, he buries all of them down deep and pretends they don't exist. This one, as far as Cole can see, has no downsides. Nothing has to change, no one has to get rejected or ruin any friendships or teamwork, and he can go on having fun with his best friends and never think about kissing them at all. Ever. It's the perfect plan.

Of course, perfect plans often have a little snag or two, which Cole discovers as soon as he marches proudly back into their living quarters and is met with three stupidly handsome and loveable faces. 

For the next few days, Cole engages in what can only be described as the most miserable game of tag he’s ever played, in which he’s constantly running from his own gay thoughts attempting to catch him. Every time he sees the other ninja, his heart utterly betrays him by trying to thump itself out of his chest, and his brain betrays him even more by refusing to stop imagining them kissing him, or holding his hand, or even cuddling. Luckily, it doesn’t interfere with their ninja work too much, because Cole is a professional, and their well-oiled team is second nature at this point. At home, though? Well, those two days of performing arts school he attended are really putting the work in.

It doesn’t help that recently the ninja have become more affectionate than ever, constantly checking in on him and asking if he wants to hang out, and there’s only so many times he can turn them down without coming off rude or suspicious. He’s been hanging out with little Lloyd a lot instead. To be fair to the kid, he’s a lot of fun to hang out with, actually. Plus, as a bonus, the ninja don’t seem to be quite as affectionate when Lloyd, Nya or Wu are around, which Cole is putting down to them not wanting to exclude anyone from their little best friend group. 

He’s hanging out by himself in the sleeping quarters, reading a book that Zane’s been trying to get him to read and eating a sandwich, when Nya pops her head round the door and says; “Hey!”

He glances over, brushes some crumbs off his chest, and sits up, putting the book down. “Hey.”

“What’re you doing in here? Everyone's up on the deck, training.”

She steps into the room and walks over to his bunk, sitting down next to him. Cole shrugs.

“I was tired?” he tries, and she laughs.

“Nice try. Wu will never let you get away with that one. Ninja never quit!” she says, doing a scarily accurate impression of Master Wu. Cole snorts, and then looks at his hands. It’s not that he doesn’t want to train. It’s more that Kai had bumped into him earlier and for some ungodly reason had reached out to brush a lock of Cole’s hair behind his ear, and Cole’s now worried that if he looks Kai in the eyes he might actually explode.

He’s not gonna say that. He just sort of shrugs instead.

Nya pokes his cheek. “What’s going on with you?” she asks, raising one eyebrow. Cole looks at her.

“What do you mean?”

She shrugs. “You’re acting weird lately. Around the guys mostly. You feeling okay?”

Damn. Cole cringes slightly. He’s probably being very obvious, huh? He opens his mouth, fully intending to make up some excuse, even if he has no idea what would sound plausible, but what actually comes out is; “I think I’m in love with all three of the other guys because my dad thought we were all dating and it made me realise I really like them all and I have no idea what to do about it and I was trying to ignore it but that’s really hard and I don’t wanna ruin the team or our friendships or anything and it sucks.”

Nya stares at him.

“And also I’m gay,” he adds, belatedly realising he's never actually officially come out. He’s pretty sure they all know, but still. Worth adding.

She takes a second, looking almost confused, and then laughs. “Okay,” she says. “Lots of information there, Cole.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles, smiling a bit himself. Her smile is infectious. She sighs, and then pats him on the shoulder.

“First of all, congrats on the coming out. I mean, I did already know, so. Y’know. Still congrats!”

“Thank you…?”

"Secondly, that's really cute. You should tell them!"

Cole stares at her. "Nya. You gotta be kidding me."

"I'm not! What's the worst that could happen?" She’s grinning at him, with a sparkle in her eye like she knows something he doesn’t, but he just frowns.

"Uh, I don't know. Everything? Breaking up the team for no good reason? Losing my only friends?"

"Pssh, that's nothing." She sounds cheery, but Cole's not smiling, so she sighs and pats his shoulder. "Right. Sorry. Unhelpful. But look, I really do think you should tell them. They're worried about you, y'know."

Cole blinks. "They are?"

"Yeah, of course. If nothing else, telling them will get you closure, right? Your friendship is stronger than you think, and they care about you, so even if they don't like like you back, is that really the end of the world?"

Huh. Cole looks down at his hands. "I guess not," he admits, frowning. It doesn't feel like it should be that easy. Admittedly, the idea of rejection does make him want to crawl into a cupboard forever, but Nya has a point. She grins again, toothily.

"I'm always right," she says, smug. Cole rolls his eyes and leans into her. She wraps an arm around him. "Oh, and I'm rooting for you, champ. I guarantee it’ll go better than you think."

“Why are you so sure?” Cole grumbles, and she opens her mouth, and then closes it again, shrugging.

“Just am!” she says, slightly sing-song, and he groans. Why is everybody he knows so smug?

–

"Hey," says Cole, and only Zane looks up. Kai and Jay are too busy intently focusing on the game they're playing, which, honestly? That's fine. Cole’s feeling pretty nervous, so the less eyes on him right now the better. "I need to talk to you guys."

"What's up, dude?" asks Kai, narrowing his eyes at the TV, and then groaning. "Oh, damnit, Jay!"

"Ha! Get good, loser!"

"Are you guys done?" Cole asks, feeling endeared and irritated at the same time. God, why'd it have to be these idiots? They pause the game, finally, and turn around to face him, nodding. "Okay."

"Are you alright, Cole?" asks Zane, looking worried. 

“Yeah, I just- I have to tell you all something.”

“We’re all ears, bro,” says Kai, grinning up at him, and Cole’s heart flutters embarrassingly. Oh god. This is gonna suck. He takes a deep breath.

"I like you guys," says Cole. "Like, like like you. All of you."

There's silence. Cole resists the urge to squeeze his eyes shut so he can't see them all looking at him. This is terrible. His heart is pounding.

"...I thought we were all already dating?" Zane says, sounding genuinely bewildered.

“Yeah, I kinda- are we not?” asks Jay, putting down his game controller. Kai nods in agreement, frowning at Cole.

What.

Cole stares at them all. He’s desperately trying to see in their eyes if this is some weird prank, or joke, but they all look utterly baffled at the idea that they’re not all dating him. They all think they’re dating him? And each other? All of them?

This might be the weirdest turn of events in Cole’s life, and he once had an old man on top of a mountain ask him to become a ninja to help save Ninjago from evil.

“Wh- we are?” he says desperately, holding out his hands in confusion. The others make eye contact with each other and then look back at him, nodding. Cole’s head is spinning. “For how long?”

Jay shrugs. “I dunno, a couple of weeks?”

A couple of weeks? He’s saying that Cole could have been kissing all three of them for weeks? He must look shaken, because Kai holds out a hand comfortingly.

“How did I not know?” he asks. They look at each other again.

“I do not know,” says Zane.

“We just sort of assumed you wanted to take things slow?” explains Kai. “And we didn’t wanna push you or anything, y’know?”

Cole really does not know what to do now. He goes and sits on the floor between them all, and then suddenly has a realisation. “My dad was right,” he groans, dropping his head into his hands in shame. This is awful. Not only was his stupid dad right about his stupid feelings, he was right about them dating, apparently. And apparently, everybody was aware of this except for Cole!

Wait. “Wait,” he says. “Does Nya think we’re dating too?”

“Uh, yeah, I’m gonna tell my sister, dude,” says Kai, and Cole groans again. Great. No wonder she’d seemed so sure of herself when he asked for her advice. He feels a hand pat his arm slightly awkwardly.

“Are you alright?” asks Zane, sounding concerned, and Cole nods into his hands. It’s not quite settled in yet, given that this was the exact opposite of the outcome he was expecting and all. It might be starting to, though, given the way his stomach is starting to fizz with excitement. 

“So,” he says, lifting his head out of his hands. They’re all looking at him with eyes that are far too soft and gentle and beautiful. “You’re telling me you all want to date me?”

“Well, I thought we all were for several weeks, so I’d say yes,” says Jay, and Cole partially considers dropping his head back into his hands. He puts them down on his lap instead.

“What now?” he asks. He’s pretty sure he’s just mightily embarrassed himself, so he’s half expecting one of them to go well, actually, we don’t really like you that much anymore, Cole, sorry! Instead, Kai starts grinning and adjusts himself so he’s on one knee.

“Well,” he says, making eye contact with each of them. “Would all three of you do me the honour of being my boyfriends? Officially, this time.”

Cole might be dying. His heart rate would certainly suggest that he is. Beside him, Zane giggles, and Jay groans and rolls his eyes.

“You’re so annoying,” he complains, and then leans forward and kisses Kai’s cheek.

“I would be honoured,” Zane says, seriously, and leans in to kiss Kai’s other cheek. Kai raises his eyebrows at Cole, the cocky grin melting into something softer as he looks at him.

“If you’d rather talk about it first-” he begins to say, before Cole gets his courage up and all but jumps forward to plant a kiss directly on Kai’s lips. They’re soft, and warm, and he can feel Kai smiling against his lips. His heart hammers furiously against the inside of his ribs as he pulls back and grins awkwardly.

“Yeah,” he says, slightly embarrassed by the way Kai is smiling at him. Jay makes a noise.

“My turn!” he says, and pulls Cole into a kiss as well, their noses squishing uncomfortably against each other and teeth clacking slightly. He pulls away, slightly dazed, and Jay all but sparkles at him with the joy in his grin. Zane clears his throat politely.

“May I?” he asks, and Cole nods, his head spinning too much to answer properly. Zane leans in and kisses him, much gentler than Jay, and then pulls back after a moment and smiles. Cole’s tempted to pinch himself, just to make sure this isn’t some big self-indulgent dream. His heart is calming down, convinced that all is well. 

“Glad we got that sorted!” chirps Jay, picking his game controller back up. “Cole, do you wanna join the game next round?”

Cole has to laugh. He feels a bit ridiculous. Knowing that he could’ve been happily with them all for weeks rather than tearing himself up inside trying to escape his crushes stings a bit, but at least he got this outcome instead of something worse. Honestly, this is the best possible outcome he could have hoped for. 

“Yeah, okay,” he says, and grabs the spare controller.

–

Cole’s dad opens the door not ten seconds after he rings the bell, which suggests he’d been waiting by the door for Cole to show up, which is either quite sweet or a bit weird, he can’t decide.

“Cole!” he says, opening it, and then his eyes widen. “Oh!”

Cole grins, gesturing to the other three ninja, who have promised to be on their best behaviour and are dressed in their nicest outfits. “Surprise?” he says, and they beam at his dad. Lou looks utterly thrilled, clapping his hands together and grinning.

“Oh, this is wonderful! Cole never brings friends home,” he says, and Cole’s face goes a bit hot. He looks around at the other ninja, who smile at him encouragingly.

“It’s actually, uh. Boyfriends, dad.”

Lou’s face shifts through surprise, to joy, to smug understanding. He smiles at Cole, who rolls his eyes. 

“Boyfriends, eh?” he says, raising his eyebrows. “Who knew?”

“Lay off it, dad,” says Cole. “Can we come in or not?”

Lou steps back to let them all pass through, waving them in with pleasantries and greetings, and when Cole passes him he pats him on the shoulder and smiles, his eyes gentle and proud. Cole smiles back, embarrassed. He’s still a little bit mad that his dad figured things out before he did, but honestly? He can’t be that upset, what with the way it all worked out.

Okay, maybe a little. But only because his dad is being so smug about it. Otherwise, he’s completely fine. After all, he’s dating the three best people in Ninjago, so what’s he got to be mad about?

Cole grins as he walks into the living room to find Kai and Jay mid-bicker already, with Zane attempting to act as mediator. They stop when they see him, all three sets of eyes lighting up, and his grin grows wider. Yeah. He’s doing pretty good.

[kijosakka]

ooouuuuu izzy i have so many thoughts about izzy within dramaturgy. so many

so im gna keep it a little nebulous here bc again im not entiiirely sure what im keeping/changing within WT, but this is smth fun i want to cover

to rehash another post: noahs behavior, his detachment, comes off to izzy as a kind of strategy. actors recognize actors or something and she does goes on to become one. she can tell hes compartmentalizing. this could also serve as a kind of reason for her to be so eager to swap teams, but again she sees how he flaunts his worst and gets voted off basically unanimously.

^ her intrigue in his lacking and finding out it wasnt in fact a strategy to further himself in the game, could also serve for why she picks him to team-up with in tddddi.

okok, so beginning this at the end to the tddddi special, i established in the post covering it that izzy basically drags noah into the water with her, thus making him apart of the action cast (that is, as an additional competitor and not actually replacing anyone). izzy sees this as an opportunity to learn more about noah, since he has to compete, right?

but come the time theyre on their way to the film lot, noah is nowhere to be seen. and izzy learns though being eliminated that somehow hes apart of the peanut gallery and not the cast.

< i imagine that her hearing about the [*]lawsuit courtney filed would make her think that maaaybe it has something to do with why he wasnt on the show.

and its izzy. shes been intrigued by him from the start and come finale she has every intention of seeking him out after the show if only to satiate her curiosity. only noah is nowhere. nowhere. and nobody knows anything either!

[*learning at the award ceremony/red carpet event that noah was working as chris' PA confirms this to her, for behind-the-scenes-adjacent reasons that im going to get into in this next section]

so noah has his whole disappearing from the public thing post-action, but he isnt the only one who goes on to do something notable after the show: izzy, for one, has an acting career.

and its shown explicitly that izzy is someone with a small-scale example of 'discipline/punishment' in her on-set freakout. she, unaware of the cameras still rolling, blows up in a manner that is made severely public and therefore completely dashes her livelihood and reputation.

this, in tandem with the fact that her even being an actress puts her just behind noah (and s2 geoff and bridgette but ill cover them later) in terms of former contestants getting close to Behind The Cameras, meaning that izzy has had a taste of both contestant-ship and employment (which are wildly different), alters her view on noah drastically.

and after having lost her career, it makes something abundantly clear about why and how noah behaved on camera --- being, this is the kind of thing he's trying to avoid.

and even coming back to the offhand ideas of sierra embodying the casts 'punishments' (as seen in the rb chain really kickstarting this au), theres izzy.

she meets sierra and the obsessive way she rewatches the show and picks it apart, and it confirms to her again why noah separates himself so heavily. and its not like its her speculating; noah is the one cast member that sierra knows nothing about.

^ hes just... so little. he has no audition tapes for her to reverse engineer his name or school from, no bonus clips, nothing useful in his interview, no cast anecdotes. compared to the sheer amount she has on everyone else -- she has a relative guess at his age and height just comparatively to the rest of the cast, but nothing concrete beyond his first name.

not even mentioning how he's completely disappeared socially. nobody in the cast has any contact info, no one knows his whereabouts -- hell, is this guy even alive? does he exist? was he a collective figment of the casts imaginations or something?

^ coming back to izzy; she picks up rumors about the rest of the cast and helps sierra run her mill. but theres something so distinct about the ones pertaining to noah -- unlike the others, based around paparazzi photos and interviews and gossip sites and behaviors from On The Show, his are just... there. they're so inherently baseless they might as well be worthless.

as far as izzy can tell, reality TV as a machine has chewed everyone up and spit them out to try and break themselves catering to the whims of the Public, and the only one whos going unseen is noah.

im sure this means something important and focal to their dynamic as teammates in WT, but i havent worked out everything for that season so i cant say definitively what it would impact.

you could spin it so izzy and noahs dynamic (and to some extent with both being Pieces in the Business giving them vague history/shared experience) is much more focal to the overarching story and his character growth as a whole and keep her in the game longer, or just have her influence his motivations to a much greater degree.

idk!! not entirely sure on that front, but izzy having that small-scale example of what 'being unaware' can do is pretty interesting in the context of this au!!

[hyper-homo-reblogs]

i am so tired and also posting this on my rb account because i don't want anyone who isn't like. following following me to see it

rant/vent? under the cut? idk im just. rambling. about how i may to may not be neurodivergent. im trying to figure stuff out and im hoping that if i put it here i can maybe clear my head a bit.

im. like 90% sure i have social anxiety. that's a given though ig. most people prolly dont feel their hearts start to actually hurt when going somewhere by urself with ppl you dont know. and um. im scared of talking to people. like irrationally terrified. and it may be a consequence of me being at home all the time but honestly idk.

i think i may have adhd. i dont have a comprehensive list of everything that i do that i think is a part of adhd behaviour but. everytime i see someone mention something that is supposedly a symptom of adhd im like hey! i do that! and im starting to think its not a coincidence anymore?

BUT at the same time i feel like im. idk trying to convince myself. for some reason. like maybe im not, maybe im just connecting dots that aren't really there, maybe im trying to fool myself into thinking that im different. it doesn't help that i don't really have a reason to care about whether or not im neurodivergent. im doing fine, and im not struggling at all, so does it even matter?

idk. idk if it even matters if it should matter. does that make sense? like maybe if i want to know, then that's reason enough for me to start questioning things. but is that a valid reason to essentially self diagnose? i feel like maybe im undermining somebody else's experiences by just. saying that i might have adhd.

anyways. i think i have the inattentive type of adhd. i don't get hyperactive very often (ironic, considering my user and the general tone that i present myself with here). a lot of my symptoms match up with the inattentive type of adhd. pretty much every website lists the same things (lack of attention to detail, trouble staying focused, frequent spiciness, difficulty following instructions, being easily distracted, forgetfulness, etc) and i always feel like. yeah everyone does that. i always do that. are you sure that that's an adhd thing. it feels obvious!!! but it isn't!!! so maybe i do have it!!! maybe!!!

its. ive also started questioning if my fam is neurodivergent too. just because a lot of the stuff associate with them doesn't seem to be neurotypical. and again im stuck with the issue of like. is that fine to do? to question if they are or aren't neurotypical? because. i think my mom has the hyperactive type of adhd. or maybe both. and my dad may be on the autism spectrum. and my sister may be as well. but it feels bad to write that down!! i don't think it should feel bad to write but it does!! because what if i don't actually know them!! what if my brain is lying to me!! i don't know anymore!!

one of the top 10 things my mom likes to say is that we don't think like each other. my mom and my dad don't think the same. me and my sister don't think the same. me and my mom don't think the same. and it rlly rlly shows, in how we communicate and how we argue. and it is genuinely so frustrating sometimes. but NOBODY thinks the same, right? because its all. a result of circumstance. or whatever. and nobody's BRAINS works the same. but isn't that the point?? of the distinction between neurotypical and neurodivergent people?? are we all neurodivergent?? are only some of us?? are none of us?? I HAVE NO IDEA

okay. rant over. im. still tired. and still havent figured anything out but maybe ill come back to this later.

[cherubsoda]

ALSO PLEASE DONT MESSAGE THEM ON MY BEHALF AND ESP DONT BE MEAN! i know yall are mature enough to just be like :/ not cool dude, BUT JUST INCASE...

they have the right to their own safespace and to ship w/ whoever they want , literally i dont mind that i just Would Prefer Not To See It!

[taejvu]

hello my loves!! please help me decide on a new url !!

[eunsangf]

! mutuals send either ur url or kisses (or both) and i’ll choose five songs that remind me of you ♥️

[elytrafemme]

👍 oh god go crazy

[ ask game ]

okay so I AM going to start off with the Zine story because i think that's just a fairly decent starting place here.

TLDR: I was a guest writer featured on a Danganronpa Zine and it culminated to be kind of an absolute fucking disaster (no shade to any of the people part of it if they see this but I know damn well that i'm probably on their DNI lists at this point). Also I typed this out in Google Docs so it took me all these words to realize this story is literally not funny at all but if anyone is curious as to this experience there you go.

also ignore my capitalization inconsistencies + don’t RB this bc if someone in this zine sees this ill cry real tears

-

So, before I wrote DSMP content but after I had been acquainted with fandom as a whole, I was in the Danganronpa fandom. Now, i don’t say this to like brag particularly, but i was semi-well known in terms of writing due to the fact that I wrote for a very popular ship in the DR fandom. I only got a Tumblr after impulse making it to be part of a secret exchange on the site I barely fucking remember but otherwise i was very much like an AO3-er. If you’ve read my works please for the love of God no you didn’t <3

Now I never wanted to opt into any zines because i had no methods of receiving payment and a lot of zines i heard of were strictly for profit, so i didn’t really have much interest. However, a friend at the time (who was the person that suggested i made a tumblr the day that i actually did it, and also involved in a story im telling later i think), was the writing mod of a zine and they needed guest writers (AKA a writer that doesn’t apply to join but is part of it and usually has some kind of featured promo beforehand). They asked if i was up for it and after reassuring me i wouldn’t really need to deal with money (it was half profit half charity but i decided to give my other half up entirely to charity bc i couldn’t get the money anyway), i joined the team. The zine was called Dangan Despair Deluxe, if anybody remembers that. The premise was to focus on a cast of characters during the time of despair

Just confirmed that this happened like october of 2020, so I was 15 if anyone cared for that info.

Now the way zines work if people haven’t been part of the backend of it is that you generally have mods for the different areas/mediums (we had a merch mod writing mod art mod gen mod etc) and you have these check ins to make sure that you get the shit done on time. Some zines are pretty particular about the check ins and will like actually leave comments on your work, but im pretty sure that this zine didn’t give too much of a shit about it because i don’t think I ever got a comment??? Or anything abt my writing (but we’ll get to why i also think that didn’t happen). I did writing and I took two different characters bc everyone generally either got like 1 character or 2, nobody had taken much more than that and this went for art and writing. Merch kind of split up differently but similar breakdown there

Now I can’t remember the chronological happenings great, but what I first remembered is that people kind of stopped turning in stuff for the checkins. That was fine, they were lenient if you needed like some more time, but then people started dropping out which became a problem. Also there was this weird issue with one person getting roped into being part of it, leaving, then rejoining, then leaving again so idk what was up with that or who tf that person was. And then shit started to hit the fan when mods started like outright ghosting, including the writing mod, which kind of meant we were free balling it

This random person who did writing and maybe art stepped up to be part of the mod team, and honestly thank fucking God for them. They started trying to handle stuff, but eventually it kind of became a mess where we shoved back the intended deadline for a while because we literally did not have any of the finished products. The merch ended up being weirdly inconsistent because like 3 different people all did different parts of merch so it was kind of cool but also instead of having, like, stickers for all the characters, you kind of just got stickers for 4 of them which like, was fine did what we had to whatever. People covered the writing that needed to get done and in terms of art i think we were fine. Random note but we also had this one person who like was very talented and generally cool to talk to but absolutely could not do something that didnt have an implied ship in it which like kind of wasn’t the goal but i think at some point we were like you know what at this fucking point we may as well

we had this period of time where this person who stepped up to be part of the mod team… did like all of the formatting. Now there WAS a formatting mod and idk what the fuck happened there but essentially by the end we had like 3 mods, this person who was doing the financial transactions, formatting, and STILL DOING THE ART/WRITING, the person who headed the whole project that was like half responsive at best, and then this one person that came into play maybe twice and never again

Set off this really long period of time in which like nobody ended up getting any of the profit stuff also we had no idea if it was formatted. If you got the zine you would know that the formatting genuinely is fucking GORGEOUS so they did a great job but it was really fucking weird because there were just times where we were like. Hey guys what the hell is going on in this project we tried to finish three months ago

This person who became a mod was literally doing like 50 million things bc this was like april may so we were all real fucking busy, but they still managed to sort things out but the thing is like. You can only really gift people so much money at a time bc otherwise it kind of just does weird shit idk so they consistently couldn’t get all the money over and then people also dropped off of the project and didn’t like actually ask for the money so they had no fucking clue what to do. Also i just looked back and the platform we used to sell the zine also only sent money payments out on fucking Fridays so i have gen no clue why that was a thing but that had also been an issue. We got like enough money to donate to charity but it was just really weird bc whenever we asked for updates it was mostly just this singular person trying to do everything

Anyway. We got the zine out and it was great and now the server is somehow still kept alive bc one of the contributors keeps promo-ing other zines in this one channel and we never fucking reply so like sometimes it lights up. Anyway that was the story of the first and last time i was ever part of a zine

Here are the zine previews BTW bc I never fucking shared them bc when the zine finished i had no idea what the protocol was for sharing writing so

📷Why is that what happens when I try to copy and paste a photo hellaur

[nice-is-neat]

ax :D and tobias also!

Thank you for this <3

This is going to get kind of long . sorry lol

For Ax,

My favorite thing about him is that he's a silly little guy who is very troubled. I also love his opinions, if I could have a book with every thought that's ever passed through his head I'd be quite happy.

My least favorite thing is when he Doesn't communicate. Which I can't blame him for, but I hate when he's suffering in silence :(

For my favorite line.. its the uh,, entirety of book 29. Especially when ax APOLOGIZES for getting sick.. I love him... And when he's talking with Erek about rock paper scissors... Sad 😔

brOTP? i. Dont know tbh! I like his relationship with Tobias though :) OTP wise i am an axmarco enjoyer, i think, but I don't know if i see it lasting (very unfortunate, i cry over this). I dont necessarily have a nOTP. ill rb if i think of one.

I have so many headcanons. But my most random, current favorite is that he learns to cook just to make foods that contain a concerning amount of Benadryl

Most of my opinions are pretty mainstream I think, so i'll go off topic a moment. I hate the helmacrons So much. Imagine reading book 23, the pretender, and being so excited for what comes next and its THAT. Book 24, whatever its called, is my least favorite book thus far. Did not even get any reaction out of me beyond :/

I don't have a solid ax song yet so enjoy my favorite picture of him that ive made. Cozy

For Tobias,

Favorite thing about him: He is my poorest little meow meow. I love how emo he is, hes highly relatable, and he is a funny hawk. I can write an essay on my feelings about him. I will if you want me to.

Least favorite thing about him: Again, I hate that he doesn't tell people when he needs help or is having trouble. Communicate, please

Favorite line: The entirety of book 23, im sorry lol. I love that book so much.

brotp: him and marco. I think they r friends <3 otp: him and rachel :) notp: not sure. Will rb if im struck by anything.

I have tons of headcanons about him, too. And a little postwar au i spent literally all day yesterday telling my friend about. Heres a hc i just came up with, Tobias collected novelty lighters :)

Again. Im basic, i think my opinions are quite mainstream, so im not sure what to put here!

I have several tobias songs. I dont know if theyre Good, but i have them. Here are three for your enjoyment ^^

Brittle bones nicky - rare americans. Boys will be bugs - cavetown. Lemon boy - cavetown.

Theres so many good tobias pictures out there, you cannot make me choose. I think I'll reblog some of my favorites later today :)

For now, enjoy this sketch i made yesterday morning (the finished will go up in a week or two!)

:]

[voidselfshipp]

New places

Jerico x ace

Ok to rb

Cw: food mention,body horror mention.oc stuff with no context

S/I uses she/he/they/xe pronouns

Havard uses he/Him pronound

A dove softly sat on the shoulder of a young woman,she feeds them a sunflower seed while her eyes rest on an individual.

Ace smiles taking a picture of himself after a particularly hard mission.

The woman smiles softly, unable And almost frozen by the fear of talking to him.

--You know its going to be alright dear--the dove chimed in-- its natural to feel scared,but you shouldnt let that stop you, jerico.

Jeri only shrugged--eh,he seems pretty preocuppied with his own stuff,no way hed like to hang out with him

The dove cooed again-- oh but dont opposites attract?

Jer snorted-- that happened with you and vica not me and him icaro --Icaro batted their wings as a shrug-- anyway if we're going to get you that ruffled shirt you wanted we might need to get going now, plus I think ebonys cafeteria Will be Open soon so--as she Walked however distracted by her own phone and thoughts she seemed to ignore a certain someone.

Ace sighed looking away,there was no way shed be into him, he said she was "too Smart for him" always with tea and green books about whatever.

Sun and moon, rain and Fire, city and nature,opposites perhaps Yes but not too much.

In an attempt of bravery he Walked towards her,wanting to retreat midway, Denied so by the fact that shed already noticed Him.

The goddess of Faith was probably laughing at what her sister and her love interest were up to.

--oh, jerico hi!--he Chirped.

Jerico looked up at him with a soft expresion--oh hey havard, whats up?

The Man froze,what was he going to say to her?-- uh I know the alpha team is getting some days off, and uh I was wondering if I could go with you, Wendy told me that you know the weirdest of places around here

Sure, jeri had a lot of free time, since the alpha team was on medical leave, so her curious self called for adventure while she was unable to save lives and kick ass.

She nodded figuring it was for something for his followers.

So they Walked from base to an old cozy coffee shop,plants,fungi, crystals And even some small creatures decorated and roamed the place.

Distinct folkloric music played in the background,jericó guided havard around the place to the counter.

--Hey ebony!--She Walked towars the counter were the druid prepared drinks.

Ebony Turned around with xeir flowercrown getting in the way of xeir Many eyes.

--Oh somnaz quevirxom, jufev jufeviveh gomozi? Nom web hirevokiv?

Jerico nodded, then Turned to ace who was confused, then she remembered and Turned to ebony-- ven lom sazynaz geviizalom,ebony

The druid nodded letting out a "ah".

--my apologies--xe said-- what do you want young Man?

Ace tried,emphasis on tried to read the menú,jeri was kind enough to translate it for him,and so they ordered and Walked to a recluse área of the café cozy and full of creatures.

Ace was posting about whatever when icaro went to Grab a handfull of seeds ebony left for them.

They come back to find jerico very displeased with aces asshole behaviour.

He seems to notice as he turns down his phone-- sorry sorry...its a habit,but how did you find this place? Its amazing!

Jer shrugged--we saved ebony a while back, then xe opened xeir own cafeteria, and told me about it.

They then quietly chattered, jeri explaining to havard what each plant around them meant , the small creatures like frogs jumping around, bees,dragonflies.

He was impressed by her knowledge, and Enamored by how she excitedly talk about it.

Their drinks arrived shortly after, with some pastries.

After the obligatory photo on aces part they Ate.

--Man this is going to fuck up my diet--he said.

--oh no no--jerico said-- ebonys drinks and food is made in a way that its tasty but wont affect any sort of diet,basically it can be glutten free, keto or diabetic friendly,vegan And vegetarian,its just the default , xey thinks of everything,so dont worry go enjoy

Ace smiles almost choking with food.

Jeri chuckles finding it adorable.

Ace paid, and went to accompany jerico to get that shirt icaro wanted.

After that they went back to base.

--hey uh...ill see you again?--ace asked--i Got the week off

Jeri nodded-- we could go to ivorys tavern for lunch,youll love it!

He smiled--hey today was fun,thank you for letting me go with you

--hey its no biggy,im glad you enjoyed it, I like being around you --His cheeks turn red and he looks away-- anyway I said that id help bridgitta with something, but ill see you for dinner right?

--oh no, me and the nighthaven crew are going to the blue shell restaurant

Jeri perked up-- oh hey if you want a discount say that I sent you, shelliq and I are good Friends

Havard smirks-- do you know everyone around here?

Jeri giggled--sort of,hey see you later okay?

He nodded and both said their goodbyes.

After helping bridigitta with some chemical stuff she ate and went to sleep.

The moons light filtered through the blinds, icaro soundly asleep on jericos chest who was looking up at the ceiling in love.

Maybe shed tell him

~~~~~~~~~

Translations

jufev jufeviveh gomozi ?( what do you want?)

nom wev hirevokiv (same as always?)

ven lom sazynaz geviizalom

(He doesnt speak terran)

[drakeblight]

Line break/read more

Do not rb

[2/2, 11:32 PM] Cristian Gómez: Ok, so here goes

[2/2, 11:34 PM] Cristian Gómez: Im sorry i talked over you and interupted you. I have this very bad tendency to not shut up when im nervous, especially around others.

[2/2, 11:34 PM] Cristian Gómez: Im sorry i had to ask you to buy me icecream, i know you said its no big deal but it is to me

[2/2, 11:35 PM] Cristian Gómez: Im sorry if i seemed boring and paranoid, ive just always lived in fear till i moved here and even though its been 2 years, i still find it hard to break habita

[2/2, 11:35 PM] Cristian Gómez: But please, i need you to tell me whats wrong

[2/2, 11:37 PM] Cristian Gómez: Remember how i told you i think of ways to escape and how could a person murder me and all that? I am very scared of the unknown and right now i do not be knowing whats up? Did i bore you, dis you find someone else, did you die? My mind keeps jumping to conclusions i know arent true but without your words i cant really kill them off

[2/2, 11:38 PM] Cristian Gómez: Im trying to be more attentive of you and stop being so self centered (which is an oximoron cuz telling other people that youre not thinking about yourself requires you to think about yourself but wrvr)

[2/2, 11:39 PM] Cristian Gómez: I watched letterkenny, i kinda spoiled that "surprise" when i texted you her face and the naked gym the frats wanted to make

[2/2, 11:39 PM] Cristian Gómez: But whatever, i did enjoy it and im thankful you showed me it

[2/2, 11:39 PM] Cristian Gómez: Also, imma pay you back that icecream 10x

[2/2, 11:41 PM] Cristian Gómez: I finally get payed on wednesday so ill buy the granpa sweater or the windbreaker or the patterned shirts, maybe ill stop by peace nook and get a candle, incense or soap you liked. Whatever it ends up being, ill make sure its shiny

[2/2, 11:41 PM] Cristian Gómez: Also, my friend said he could sneak us into his show on thursday, like i said, i really like his drag

[2/2, 11:42 PM] Cristian Gómez: If we sneak in, we may even get a couple drinks if we dont have bracelets

[2/2, 11:43 PM] Cristian Gómez: And if all you need is space, thats fine! I know i can be a bit much to handle, but please tell me so i dont go off the rails batshit crazy trying to figure out what went wrong

[2/2, 11:43 PM] Cristian Gómez: I only now realize that typing all this into a private convo is very batshit crazy

[2/2, 11:43 PM] Cristian Gómez: Remember that thing i just said about not shutting up??

[2/2, 11:44 PM] Cristian Gómez: I know theres a lot more i wanted to say but i forget

[2/2, 11:45 PM] Cristian Gómez: Oh, and i didnt really mean to be mean when i called you a nerd for tucking

[2/2, 11:45 PM] Cristian Gómez: Also, when i said you were tall, i just wasn't expecting that, cuz everyone ive ever gone out with ends up being smaller than me

[2/2, 11:46 PM] Cristian Gómez: Im sorry i behaved like a 12 yearold, i know its not very attractive to go into a relationship and feel its gonna be a babysitting gig

[2/2, 11:47 PM] Cristian Gómez: Even though im scared, i still challenge myself. Everytime i take a turn at a stoplight my first thought is how someone might run me over

[2/2, 11:48 PM] Cristian Gómez: Everytime its bellow 40, i think of that time i couldnt feel my hands for 2 hours, but i still get on my bike

[2/2, 11:48 PM] Cristian Gómez: And everytime i looked at your messages im reminded of all the sweet nothings people used to say to me to use me

[2/2, 11:49 PM] Cristian Gómez: All the see you laters and the we'll meet someday again

[2/2, 11:50 PM] Cristian Gómez: And even though im deadly terrified of typing something and losing you like ive lost everyone else, i still find the courage to send you something, anything so youd know i really do like you

[2/2, 11:50 PM] Cristian Gómez: I forgot how it felt

[2/2, 11:51 PM] Cristian Gómez: Ive been neeting people ive been interested in for 4 years now and youre the second one ive actually found that i cared about

[2/2, 11:51 PM] Cristian Gómez: Even ones i thought i cared about, i forgot in a week

[2/2, 11:52 PM] Cristian Gómez: And i know i said id stop being self centered and ill ive done is typed and typed, but i genuinely want you to give me a second chance, hopefully ill learn to shut up

[2/2, 11:53 PM] Cristian Gómez: I know youll probs only read this if i ever give you your codename, if i even post these, but this is helping

[2/2, 11:53 PM] Cristian Gómez: Also, sorry i called you adam

[2/2, 11:54 PM] Cristian Gómez: Maybe ill send the lot of these your way one day, where it doesnt matter cuz youre so close or so far appart

[2/2, 11:55 PM] Cristian Gómez: I know you dont want a psycho bf that cant be 10 mins away from you, but if youre leaving, could you please say why?

[2/2, 11:56 PM] Cristian Gómez: This is extremely pessimistic and theres that overworking brain again, but did you even care? I wanna say yes cuz you payed for my icecream and didnt just blow me off at the first chance, also you went out with me after a week or so of texts, most people would have just made something up, so i really appreciate you

[2/2, 11:57 PM] Cristian Gómez: UGHHH, i just need an answer at this point i dont mind if its yes or no

[2/2, 11:57 PM] Cristian Gómez: Did your messages get stuck? Did my phone mute you?

[2/3, 12:02 AM] Cristian Gómez: Oh yea, this goes without saying, but i dont wanna seem manipulative, these last couple day (oly shit its only been a day, why did i blow this out of proportion so damn much?!?) Have been very retrospective

[2/3, 12:03 AM] Cristian Gómez: I also dont want the gift to be manipulative, its something ive always believed in, ask my friends, no one should leave empty handed

[2/3, 12:04 AM] Cristian Gómez: And i probs would have only gotten you the candles, but bc you bought ice cream and youre so damn hot, ill bump it up

[2/3, 12:05 AM] Cristian Gómez: Im way overdue on payments and my bike insurance is almost up, but its only good for the other guy, so if i crash its very unlikely ill even need to pay them

[2/3, 7:50 AM] Cristian Gómez: Was it that i didnt try anything romantic? Didnt hold your hand or stayed away when i said goodbye? I dont know how to read limits so i just default to professional until someone tells me to do something

[2/3, 8:37 AM] Cristian Gómez: Was it the blue nails? I swear that was the jeans

[shushvera]

*toy story shark vc* howdy howdy howdy ! i would like to make it known i’ve been unabashedly eyeing this since it opened ! anyway ! i’ve lost my ooc intro groove so we gonna move down to my ic intro down below:

oh hi there, welcome to holiday, VERA FLOROS. you’ve been here for TWO MONTHS? awesome! you look just like MARINA DIAMANDIS, it’s crazy. oh, so you’re a 30 year old ‘FORTUNE TELLER’/’MUSICIAN’. and you’re FEMALE and use SHE/HER? okay, just checking! oh, people say you’re INTUITIVE & DILIGENT but DECEITFUL & RASH? well, i’m sure that you can prove yourself here. you’re looking forward to the HALLOWEEN celebration? that’s a good one, you’ll love it. i have to get going now, bye! [fleur, 19, est, she/her]

i would like to start by saying i’ve played vera once (1 time) before and it was,, so much fun,, the dumbest smart person to exist. i’ve tweaked her bg a little (because..... that’s what happens when you read lucille ball’s autobiography that was SUMN.....), but ! who cares !

update: this got rly long so there’s a tl;dr at the bottom if that better floats your boat !

INTRO-WORTHY STATS

aka, stats that aren’t that deep™

FULL NAME: Vera Floros DOB: August 17th, 1989 AGE: thirty FROM: Abergavenny, Wales OCCUPATION: “fortune teller” & a musician who doesn’t understand marketing ORIENTATION: bisexual CLASS: middle class ( that inheritance kicked in ! )

BACKGROUND: 

CHILDHOOD

triggers: parental death, brief mentions of child abuse

alright, vera was born to a very young couple in wales. they’d gotten married fresh out of high school and had a child (her) just two years later. that being said, for about two years after, her mother began distancing herself from the father... not because he was a bad guy, but he moved cities entirely and she was NOT about that.

to be perfectly redundant, for about two years, it was just vera and her mother. 

grandparents weren’t about their daughter being married. at 18. did they help pay rent for a separate living space? until vera’s mom was 21, yes. but was she welcomed in their house? lmao!!!!!

THEN her father blew back into town. they reconnected, they both began working more so that vera’s mother didn’t have to rely on her own (we’ll get to her dad’s parent’s in a second). 

vera, at the Tender Age of Three™ learned that she was a complete Daddy’s Girl™. although she loved her mom for obvious reasons, she connected with her dad on an entirely different level. he was fun! he was playful! he was young, but he was the perfect dad! he even told dad jokes! which she didn’t get until she was five because three year olds usually aren’t that smart! they did little ‘acrobatic’ things! it was cute and fun and good!

but? this is a roleplay character?

our man died from unexpected heart failure. the autopsy showed an abnormality that hadn’t previously been discovered, and we know our man rarely went to the doctor. vera was six at the time.

her mom: married at 18, mother at 20, widow at 26. 

because she and her mom had never developed that Close Bond™, it was difficult for her mother to figure out how to... like... keep her from wandering around... because just telling her not to wasn’t working... so she was like “you know what.... a leash.”

we love ‘puppy’ by george saunders

so whenever her mom was at work and vera wasn’t in school, she was tied to a tree in the backyard.

cruel and unusual punishment!

eventually, her mom kind of just... threw in the towel... she left completely for a change of pace. she said she would be back and that vera would be under the care of her father’s parents in athens until then.

her father’s parents had always been more accepting of the young marriage. they’d been more supportive of them being young parents, in spite of her father having left for a while. they’d definitely been supportive of vera and her mother during that time because they were like “omg mood”

there were a few other kids under their care, all related or not. they did some work for her father’s parents, but nothing very laborious – just sort of... Bonding™ ja feel?

so her mom DID keep her promise and returned three years later when vera was nine. mind you, vera had never held any feelings of resentment towards her mother. when she was six, she... just didn’t get it. at nine, she was old enough to be like “i get u.”

BUT her mother DID get remarried. she didn’t resent her for that, but... she was not fond of the new husband. he wouldn’t accept the ‘dad’ title, was very stern, very serious, made her mom seem like an absolute joy, etc. 

but her mom was in love, so what could she do? and then they had a son together, so what could she do? nothing.

that summer, to learn more Discipline™, vera was sent to live with her step-father’s parents in london. boy howdy, it was nothing like her father’s parents! they had a knack for pointing out flaws, induced actual laborious work, constantly quoted the bible at the worst of times, and thought that a single head nod was the equivalent of “good job!” there were a couple of other kids there too, but yikes.

TEENS ( *hang ten emoji* ) + COLLEGE

triggers: brief domestic abuse implications

early was filled with Drama™ surrounding her step-father’s parents and her step-father himself. the overall consensus was that he was not a dope dude, nor were his parents. vera’s mother filed for divorce and gained sole custody of their son (keeping in mind.... she basically already had sole custody of vera.... considering she was her only legal guardian left lmao)

after the divorce was filed, vera’s mother was like “u kno what. my parents hate me. my first husband is dead. my second husband was a douche. i have no reason to be here anymore.” so they went to the land of golden opportunity

but wound up in america instead

(joke patented by dr. doofenshmirtz)

vera, around sixteen at the time (y’all i���m figuring out ages as i go along bear with me), now attended some strange high-school where they were like “fahrenheit.” 

by the way! it was in holiday! that’s important to note for possible future connections!

it wasn’t an unwelcome change, though. starting over... was nice...

but the problem was that she was like her father in that she always acted before she thought... which made her a very dumb smart person. 

alright get ready for the single idea that drove this entire thing:

she majored in philosophy then was *pikachu shocked face* when she realized there were no jobs out there for philosophy majors.

ADULTHOOD

alright... so what do you do when you have no good opportunities for things in your major?

you would think you would do something like... idk... find a well-paying job that doesn’t require a major?

or maybe a job that just requires experience in ___?

or maybe a job that just requires a bachelor’s degree of any sort?

or maybe a job that doesn’t require a major, but would like a major similar to yours, thus giving you a leg up?

etc.?

lmao no. you go to new orleans and become one of many phony fortune tellers using the one good thing you got from your weird upbringing: easy analysis of body language.

in addition, you try to make something of your life through music, but have no clue what ‘marketing’ is because you really don’t understand social media and probably still have the egg as your twitter profile picture.

what do you mean print is out of style?

what do you mean no one listens to CDs anymore?

what do you mean garageband isn’t acceptable to record on?

that being said, it’s not like... she wasn’t good at it... i mean she was v good at it... but musician is in quotes because she has made NOTHING of her LIFE with it. DOES NOT UNDERSTAND MARKETING.

*sonic kid vc* WHEN WILL YOU LEARN? WHEN WILL YOU LEARN? *end vc*

she got some decent pay from being a ‘fortune teller,’ though. tourists totally flocked and using a fake russian accent helped, as did... just speaking a language they didn’t know while pretending to contact spirits...

at least she’s a good scam artist

can’t market very well, but could probs create the next big ponzi scheme

returned to holiday when she heard news from her brother that her mother had fallen ill.

honestly rest in peace.

is still around because... that’s her home! sentiment! also rip!

also marketing isn’t as hard in holiday so???

also testing fortune telling out in holiday is more interesting so???

DOPE.

PERSONALITY

either really dumb for a smart person or really smart for a dumb person.

still has a childlike trait tbh. i mean when ur growing up just laying beneath child labor laws, ur gonna have to become a kid again eventually.

really bad at technology for reasons unknown to... everyone, but really good at scams.

has not thought before she acted even ONCE.

hasn’t used her degree since she was 22. the closest she’s come is buying some misc. philosophy books and sharing tidbits with strangers. 

“now this is a taoist anthem” - vera @ ‘soak up the sun’ by sheryl crow

so many ragrets.

will find a way to bring up she’s half greek in every conversation. 

“and i’ve had mental illness since i was in middle school. good night.” - that video someone edited of professor tox

im so bad at personality sections but she’s got a fun one y’all one of the few characters i’ve played who’s had a Sad Backstory™ but wound up being a Fun And Comedic Character™

TL;DR

that was my first time ever writing this whole thing out, so it got real long. so we gonna give a tl;dr:

triggers: v brief mentions of parental death, brief mentions of child abuse, v brief implication of domestic abuse

born to a v young couple in wales. dad was like “brb” then he did, indeed, come rb. loved dad. but dad died when she was six lmao get wreckt this is a roleplay character.

mom was like “idk what 2 do” so she took notes from george saunders’s ‘puppy’ and just tied vera to a tree when she was gone adjsflka. went away for a while and vera stayed with her dad’s parent’s in greece. came back three years later and reunitedanditfeelssogood.mp3.

got married tho and vera was like “i don’t like this guy” and mom was like “i’m having his child.” lived with his parents over the next few summers. they almost violate child labor laws. like. just a hair more. hare? became source of any self-hatred lmao get wreckt

vera’s mom and step-dad divorced bc he was horrible and they moved to holiday when she was sixteen. she left for college when she was eighteen. she decided to major in philosophy which was a bad idea and the source of her entire character. 

decided to become a phony fortune teller in new orleans instead of... idk... just getting a job that didn’t require a degree or sumn? pretty successful tho! talked in a fake russian accent around tourists bc? why not? 

also did/does music but has no idea how marketing works. bad at social media. records things on garageband. an overall fool. good but a fool.

back in holiday bc mom died lmao get wreckt we’re an orphan now boizzzz

Sad But Rad™

WANTED CONNECTIONS

it’s 2:38AM as i write this part and i still have to go back and include a stats thing bc i love those then post ic but i’ll update this w/ some when im done i suppose?? but we do love brainstorming in this house!!

like this or hmu if you’d like to plot !

[eliottdemaurys]

mercredi 10:40 - phase de latence clip analysis

Since I had so many thoughts about mercredi 10:40, I decided to make this analysis of the clip. Buckle up mecs, its gonna be a long ride. I’m putting this under the cut because this ended up being way longer than I originally planned

So we start in the biology classroom where it looks like the class is working on an assignment where you can’t talk to the other students. It might be a test though (if french people could rb this and explain it that would be very much appreciated.) Imane seems like someone who cares a lot about academic honesty, but she cares even more about being a loyal friend. That’s why I was shocked, but not entirely surprised when she whispered an answer to Lucas for his assignment.

“You forgot the latency phase”

“What?”

“The latency phase. When two chromosomes are forming”

Imane is someone who is reserved, but once she gets to know and trust someone, she will go above her personal beliefs. The same can go for when she defended Alexia during the Kiffance party when Chloé said a generalization about gay people. Homosexuality is against Imane’s religion, but that doesn’t stop her from defending Alexia. Imane is such a caring hufflepuff and anyone would be lucky to have a friend like her. 

Lucas gets the texts from Eliott

When Lucas got the texts from Eliott, he seemed apprehensive, but he was still willing to turn his uncompleted assignment in to see him. Lucas was confused and probably hurt that Eliott didn’t text him since Saturday, but I truly believe that all it takes is for Lucas to see Eliott’s face for 2 seconds to stop being mad at him.

Eliott also brings out the spontaneous side in Lucas, whether it means leaving class early or ditching Chloé and Lucille on their “double date.” Eliott makes Lucas fearless. (I’ll come back to that later.)

“Minimalism, Imane. Minimalism.”

This quote makes me laugh every time. Lucas has a very witty personality that we see from time to time when he’s truly happy. Imane’s reaction to this made it even better.

This smile!!!! I wish I could see Eliott smile like that forever!!!! Okay but seriously, Eliott was so happy at that moment before it all went to hell. He probably had a hard couple of days after he left Lucas’s apartment, but now that he seemed to be feeling better he couldn’t wait to see Lucas. There is so much hope and love in those eyes.

This kiss was such a natural reaction for Eliott, but I don’t think he understood how monumental it would be to kiss Lucas at school. Lucas never told Eliott that he is closeted but after Eliott saw Lucas’s reaction, I’m sure he definitely knows now. This, my mecs, is the first part of this clip that hurts. And it gets worse.

“Doesn’t that make you happy?”

“Of course. I just don’t want you to be sad or feel like it’s my fault”

So much to unpack with these lines. “Doesn’t that make you happy?” Oh Eliott, of course it makes Lucas happy. Lucas’ reaction caused the doubt to start creeping in for a second, and I don’t blame him. I’m sure breaking up with Lucille was a terrifying moment for him. He lost his main safety net and jumped into this new and exciting relationship where there is still a chance of abandonment. Thankfully, Eliott’s doubt only lasted for a second when Lucas said “I don’t want you to be sad or to feel like it’s my fault.” Not only does Lucas want to be with him, but he cares so much about how Eliott feels. Lucas understood that Lucille was a big part of Eliott’s life, and he can’t help but feel guilty for breaking up their long term relationship.

“I'm not sad!”

Eliott is so happy here. Right away Lucas expressed genuine concern for Eliott’s feelings probably in a way Lucille never did. He also assured Eliott about how happy their relationship makes him. Lucas just wanted to be sure that Eliott feels the same way, especially after not hearing from him for days.

This time it was Eliott’s turn to reassure Lucas. This forehead touch expressed more than words ever could in this situation. The true intimacy in this moment is so tangible. Not to mention the little nose rub thing Eliott always does with Lucas! They’re just so soft with each other I feel like my heart is going to melt.

Now for some more angst.

“My mother is crazy” “I don’t need crazy people in my life”

It physically pains my heart to type those words, let alone hear it being said from Lucas multiple times as a rewatch this clip. I’m sure once Lucas realizes that what he said was wrong he’ll spend his whole life proving to Eliott how wrong that statement is.

This moment right here is the part where I start crying every time. Eliott is always so expressive through his eyes, and you can so clearly see the pain. His biggest fear about Lucas came true: he realized that Lucas won’t accept him for his mental illness. Of course this isn’t true, but after Lucas calls his mom with a mental illness crazy, there’s no reason for him to believe otherwise. Eliott decides at that moment to build a wall around himself, and that prompts him to make this insta post. The worst thing about this is that Lucas doesn’t know why Eliott starts to withdraw.

Lucas becomes so brave around Eliott. Only two minutes before Lucas was scared to kiss Eliott in school, but in a matter of minutes, he was ready to kiss him without a second thought. Lucas was also so sure about telling his parents about Eliott. I’m so proud of him.

Maybe that’s what makes Eliott’s rejection of the kiss even more painful. Lucas was so open around Eliott, so i’m sure Eliott walking away was a punch to the gut. The confusion Lucas must have felt was probably overwhelming.

What happens next?

Now Lucas has two choices: he can do what he has done before and shut down within himself, or he could open up to someone about this. I hope that he goes to Manon for help because she has always made it clear that he shouldn’t have to go through his struggles alone. It would also be nice for him to talk to Mika or Alexia, since they both seem to be very confident in their sexualities.

Please tell me if you would like me to write more clip analyses like these! I genuinely loved writing this even though I had to rewatch an incredibly painful clip over and over again.

I’m sure there’s so much I missed, so if you have any other thoughts on this clip please feel free to share!

[agentunwin]

So i bite my tongue on a lot of shit but im fuming rn and i just really have to get this off my chest.

first of all, thank you guys for everything. im so glad that you guys are for the most part enjoying benefactor and i really appreciate the sweet messages and comments.

semicolon however comma,

THIS is not okay in the least bit.

I have literally never had a worse like/rb ratio, on ANY of my imagines. EVER. And in a way I get it. It’s a long ass fic and it takes a long time to read and you might not have any comments initially about it, but I would still appreciate a reblog. You could leave a comment later i don’t care. But that’s not okay.

My shortest, shittiest fics have way better L/RB ratios than that, and it doesn’t make any fucking sense. I spent 4/5 months on that fic and it’s over 30k words, so surely you can see why I’m so pissed.

Especially when this fic was so highly demanded and requested. That’s really fucking funny to me. For the past few months ive been being harassed with asks about this fic and I’ll be the first one to say that I don’t typically mind those kinds of messages. I know the typical “Whens the next update!” and “When are you posting blabla” messages are highly hated by every writer in the world, but not me. 

The only reason I don’t really mind them is because I at least expect you guys to appreciate it once it comes out. And that’s not what happened at all this time. 

I really feel like boo boo the fool right now; like i wasted all this time writing this fic and it was for nothing because ya’ll aren’t engaging the way I wanted you to. 

I told my friend earlier that I literally never want to write another long fic like that again because the result was so underwhelming and really left me feeling like shit. That was when I was extremely hysterical and bawling my eyes out and even though I’m alright for the most part right now, I still feel the same.

I had so many ideas for long fics. So many- The vigilante!Shawn fic, the interactive choice-based fic, and more. I’ve pretty much thrown them out the window at this point because of this. I’m sooo tired of this shit.

You can call me dramatic all you want, I really don’t care. I’ve been feeling unimportant and unappreciated for a while now and this was just the icing on the cake. And before anyone opens their bigass throat, I know it’s not all about the notes. I wouldn’t be this angry if that rb ratio was higher- I wouldn’t have given a single fuck.

Reblogging a fic is literally THE BARE MINIMUM I could ask for in return for all of my hard work, and I can’t even get that.

If you have something to say, say it respectfully or you can catch this swift block.

[dangoghz]

legitimate advice for new phandom blogs

hey !! so i know sometimes posts like ‘RULES FOR THE PHANDOM XD’ are made and they’re all like “numba one. dan is a squishy bean respect this uwu” but this isn’t gonna be like that lol. im just going to list a few actual things that might help people new to the phandom learn about and become integrated into the community! of course these aren’t ‘rules’ and u dont have to listen to any of it ofc,,, im not here to control ur blog, just here to say what people normally do. feel free to rb whether u are a new blog or not, ill appreciate it either way!

(NOTE: PLS TELL ME IF ANY OF THE LINKS DONT WORK AND ILL FIX THEM PERIODICALLY!)

italicized text is defined in the glossary at the bottom!

1. be interactive! 

here, unique to our corner of timmy darn communism, we have a lot of like virtual traditions that everyone knows. these help you to make friends and also grow ur blog with some new mutuals. here are some examples.

networks: networks, or nets, are a sort of selective gc, usually with a theme or concept that it’s based around, in which all who wish to be part of fill out an application form that determines whether they get in. this is kinda the one with the most work, as u also have to make a group blog and info post, but it’s definitely worth it. i have made my closest friends in nets (such as @phleurnet which i birthed), and a lot of people on here would say the same. if you want to know more or apply, my friend diana runs an update blog @phandomnets! (examples, these are all open btw: x x x)

meetups: meetups are not in real life, don’t worry. a meetup is when someone organizes a specific time at which we all post thing around a certain theme! for instance, on halloween on tuesday, my friend milo hosted a halloween meetup. usually people post selfies but if u are uncomfortable with that, u can post art, music, or anything else related to the theme. a blog called @phandommeetupwatch keeps track of these! (examples, all happening soon/just happened: x x x)

follow forevers: a follow forever is a big celebration post when u reach a follower count milestone, no matter 50 or 5k. u tag all of the blogs you love, and they reblog it to appreciate u! it’s really positive and shows people how their work has paid off. usually people are tagged in alphabetical order, and sometimes people bold their favorites but the stylization is up to u. (recent examples: x x x)

milestone activities: sometimes people do things for their followers when they reach a follower count that involves their followers requesting something! there are many many forms of this type of thing. a common one is blog rates, in which there is a set template and the blogger rates each blog that sends in an ask using the template (info post ex: x; rate ex: x). there are also url edits (x), name/url moodboards (x), and more. u can certainly come up w an idea of ur own, being creative is great!

talk to people: that’s right dude!!! ye!!! u can message a blog u think is cool, or send an ask if u think something they made or are talking about is interesting, or add something sweet in the tags (more on etiquette later) when u rb their post. additionally, sometimes people stir up discourse, and u should participate in it if u want (past discourse examples: x x). u can also send asks when people reblog ask games, which are a list of questions with a theme (new one of mine ex: x). 

2. play around with your blog!

customizing your blog can start giving you what we call a branding, making you distinguished from other bloggers. this can include everything from as simple as using an icon to coding your own about page. 

themes: a blog can be way more appealing if it is aesthetically pleasing. admittedly, i often follow people just because of the smoothness of their mobile theme. a mobile theme is rather easy to construct as u can do it on ur own with a phone. it is how ur blog looks on a phone. although u don’t have to do this, i recommend sticking to two to four colors on ur theme and avoiding stuffing it with a lot of bright things because it can distract from content. additionally, bloggers often make their descriptions short and succinct. (my fav mobiles: x x x.) on a pc, your blog theme can be customized completely on html, meaning there is a lot of freedom. u don’t have to learn to code for this, bc u can find free themes anywhere, just search ‘free tumblr themes’ on google. once again, be creative, but u shouldn’t overload. (my fav pcs: x x x.)

about pages: in order to avoid chunky descriptions but still let people know the key deets about themselves, bloggers create about pages. sometimes these bout pages are uncoded but u can also use html code if u want to. some common things in an about page are interests, maybe personality types/horoscopes/hogwarts houses, original content, and links to other social media. (examples: x x x)

urls: urls are a key part of your blog’s brand. ‘rebranding’ is what people say if they change their url! if u are tired or bored with your url, changing it is an opportunity to change your theme and other parts of ur blog as well. (url change ex: x). 

saved urls: saved urls are basically when bloggers hoard sideblogs in order to reserve the urls used for them. if you ever encounter a blank blog that has ‘saved’ as its title, that’s probably it. sometimes people like to give away their urls, either as a constant thing (ex: x) or by doing a url giveaway (x). either way, it’s a good opportunity to change it up!

tags: in order to keep their blog cleancut and organized, a lot of bloggers have special tags for certain people, certain topics, and/or certain types of media. many people in the phandom particularly have tags for dan and phil that match (strawberries and cream, lune and sole, etc). if they have many of these tags, there can be a page for their tags on their blog. this page can be coded with special html or just a regular tumblr page, it doesn’t really matter. but it’s very useful for those who visit your blog, and makes it easy for u to navigate older posts as well! (examples: x x x)

3. learn to make og content!

producing original content helps you establish what your strengths are and why people should follow you. it also allows u to contribute to the fanbase, and gives u a chance of being noticed by dnp! and the validation is lovely. there are many options if u want to make something. 

gifs: gifs are an ART here in the phandom, and its mechanisms still perplex me to this day bc ive never tried it. u probably already know what a gif is, but if not, its essentially a short animation made in photoshop that repeats. gifmakers are often distinguished by a unique coloring (example gifmakers: x x x), such as my friend emily’s smooth dark blue tint (x). it can be a long process to learn how to gif but it is very rewarding in the end, from what i’ve heard. (tutorials: x x)

art: there is a very wide range of phanartists, all with such talents, either digital or traditional, that you can draw inspirations from for your own work. you can make cartoons, comics, realism, abstract, nsfw even, or any mix (or none) of the former. artists on tumblr definitely deserve more attention than they get here on tumblr, so be sure to show appreciation towards them! (my fav artists: x x x)

edits: edits are the Graphic Designs of our community and are usually very aesthetically pleasing. they can be centered around a certain event, like a video or something dnp made, or just for fun. the more practice you get making them, the more dexterous u’ll become. they can be a great tool if u like the design aspect of art but don’t want to actually draw. (edit makers: x x)

icons: icons are just the little profile picture that u can insert for ur blog. it’s really easy and fun to make them, kind of like a lazy version of edits. you can make them using photoshop or an app like picsart or medibang, and it doesn’t take a lot of time. more on how to use icons in section 4. (examples: x x x) (my lil tutorial: x)

moodboards: moodboards are nine pictures arranged 3 by 3 that have a certain color scheme. it’s kind of like a collage except the photo feature here separates the pictures for u. there are a lot of innovative moodboard makers that stun me w how pretty it looks or how they arrange the pics. moodboards are also an easy and fun option! (moodboard tags: x x x)

textposts: this is by far the easiest and more common form of content u will find. it’s just writing about dnp in a textpost! if a textpost isn’t very serious, people also call it a meme or shitpost. shitposting is defs on the rise here so its a good business to get into. it’s also a great outlet for ur emotions or personal connections to what dnp do! (example talk tags: x x x)

fics: by far the most famous media to come out of here, phanfiction is a popular form of phan indulgence. u have probably heard of the most scarring ones (list: x), but there is actually a really vast range of it, not just creepy smut! some other genres are fluff, angst, and slow burns. u will discover that, despite the sterotype, not all fanfiction is bad. you can find lovely fics on @phanfictioncatalogue by genre, au, or topic. and, if u need help writing something, many writers would love to help. (a few well-known fics: x x x x x)

4. tumblr etiquette!

i know tumblr might seem like a simple social media (or perhaps not after u’ve read all the above?) but there’s a lot of things that u just....u just don’t do. it’s sort of like virtual manners, and if u don’t follow them, then it’s unlikely that people will like ur blog. once again, this is by no means me forcing u to run ur blog a certain way. it just happens that the types of ppl who break these rules are who we mock in gcs :////////. so yea, here’s some advice.

credits: if u decide to use someone’s art, edit, gif, or icon on the theme of ur blog, check what they require of u before u use it. most content creators strongly ask for credit in the description of ur blog, either by link or like ���icon/header/art by ____’. it is just a common courtesy to the person who spent time on that, and if u think credit will ruin the aesthetic of ur blog, a) u probably don’t have an aesthetic in the first place and b) learn to appreciate art, binch. 

anonymity: anon asks can be very powerful either negatively or positively depending on how u yield them, so make sure that u are careful with what u send. compliments are always welcome and criticism as well, but blatant rudeness or hate will do nothing. u will only make someone feel bad about themselves and it will not accomplish anything. also, u face the threat of all their friends turning u into a meme. 

sensitivity: a lot of people here are way too easily offended by harmless jokes, a common example in the phandom being when we insult dnp affectionately and people take it way too much to heart. please don’t start drama over something w no real meaning. however, there are times when it is indeed necessary. if u want to criticise a blogger, be respectful of them simultaneously. by all means, if u spot someone being racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynist, or the like, feel free to call them out on it. but beforehand, make sure that u have done ur research and are educated on the topic, or u could turn out to be blatantly wrong. 

adding to posts: everyone makes this mistake when they start out here and that’s totally okay, but adding to every post u reblog is incredibly bothersome. a rule of thumb would be don’t add anything unless what u say will actually improve the post significantly. if ur additions are along the lines of ‘LOL’ or ‘i relate!!!!’ or ‘philly is a smol bean XD’, learn to use the tags for heaven’s sake. they’re there for not only organization but also for commenting. some exceptions, though, would be if u are mentioned in the post or the op is your close friend. 

respecting privacy: this should already be obvious to u, but respect dan and phil’s boundaries. do not tag them or their main tags (#daniel howell, #danisnotonfire, #amazingphil), in any phanfics, phanart (like specifically with them as a romantic ship), or phan edits. do not talk to their family members, expose their personal info like address or phone number, and do consider that they are real people just like u. we may make things based around phan, but it is kept in a community for us and not for dan and phil’s eyes. this is very important.

5. have fun!

sorry if this is all overwhelming, but i tried to make it as simplified as possible. and also sorry for the sass, i’m kinda tired of all the ding dongs on here and want to prevent further ding dongs from being created. thanks so much for readin and be sure to send me an ask anytime if u have questions! welcome to hell!

glossary

timmy darn communism: me being my usual weird self and replacing ‘tumblr dot com’ with random words that start with the same letters

mutuals: someone who you follow and who follows you; usually who u interact with most

rb: shortening for ‘reblog’

discourse: when theres is intense discussion of a certain topic, sometimes phan-related sometimes not, sometimes serious and sometimes silly

branding: the word ‘branding’ kinda started as a joke, but it’s generally what we use to call what someone’s blog reminds them of, whether it be a certain color or a discussion topic; my branding, if u asked a mutual, would probably be impressionism, tea, and baguettes (dont ask ab that one)

html: a simple type of coding used for designing websites! u can learn basic html here or here, it’s way easier and funner than it looks

dnp: dan and phil; we also say ‘deppy’, ‘dip and pip’, ‘the boys’, ‘the rats’, and more

coloring: basically the stylization of a gif, shown through filters, textures, contrast, brightness, etc. 

talk tag: a tag in which all of the textposts that a person makes are sorted into

phanfiction terms

smut: porn fic :/ 

fluff: just what it sounds like, a type of fic that usually has a lot of soft stuff like cuddling, flirting, and looooove

angst: a fic with a lot of drama, usually sad or very emotional

slow burn: a fic where a pairing, in this case phan, slowly falls in love

au: stands for ‘alternate universe’, a fic in which dan and phil are written not as youtubers but in a completely different scenario (ie. bad boy and new guy in high school, university students, space exhibition, anything u can dream up really)

anon: short for ‘anonymous’

op: short for ‘original poster’, aka who made the post

[theday]

☔️ i lov u!

its long but its 3 paragrpahs of shit and me going what the hell am i writing every 2 lines sorry el one day ill do a better one

send me ☔ and ill tell u what kinda weather u remind me of!!

id say!!! a light drizzle while the sky is clear and the sun’s hiding in between the clouds but its still There?? u know so its bright but theres just this drizzle and the actual feeling sucks bc its so Humid but theory wise or some shit idk english its like!!!!!!!!!!! u can be Both............. god i dont have enough english? vocabulary? literacy ? for this ask who am i gghssdj back 2 this lmaodhdsgh fuk ok sO im saying ur a light drizzle while its still Clear And Bright outside bc ur always!!!!! u love people? now all of this is just an observation obviously and ill always bring up that one time i sent u 7 asks as to why i love mx dhjsghgdh bc it was our first interaction but u like?? listening? u love ur friends? and ur always!! looking for ways to interact with ur followers/mutuals and ofchfhd i dont actually Know? so i could b wronghdhg but i think youre a loving person? thats why ur bright but its in the little ways??? you love a lot of people/things (fish) and i like seeing that?? you express it a lot too but its ? in an obvious way i mean its Not Loud? of course u make posts and stuff! but i see a lot of ur love in how u go on mh/kh spams and those r great love them ! its the little things so ur like the sun... hidden behind clouds?? u kno... u dont? its okie me neither jhdhshgh also ur rly fucking funny but no one seems to notice like hello. el comedy legend...? (this is where the mess begins) for the drizzle part ofc i cant say for sure again since its ur life but from what ive seen there are times u get a little down? and thats fine! its normal to feel stuffghd and like!!!!!! id say light drizzle because to me,,, i think ur trying ur best?? youre doing a great job in my opinion even if you think you arent doing anything at all,,, idk maybe hfggshg maybe not dhggdsbut i apprecitae u for sticking around not necessarily with me as my friend but just around. here. on earth on tumblr . sticking around in a sense that??? ur !! Herefhgsghhfgg fucc... this is tough to explain but u knowfhhdggshsj this could come off as offensive and i know everyone has troubles deeper than what we can see but i say light rain bc um. fhjfgdhs my brain is having a meltdown wait let me just say this first i think its good that u talk abt ur troubles here even if. its like. not all of it. because its good to Vent somewhere and!!! im proud of u for talking abt it!!!! im not gonna say ur a light rain bc ur not. like sad or anything bc obviously i dont know that but bc ????? urfhjhd easy on the eyes? this is deviating completely from my original point but at tfhjdhjs jesus christ let me start another paragraph

OK OK u can wipe that drizzle part from above completely from ur memory but thats what i was thinking regardless of weather or whatever i love ur doing amazing el next. (i feel like mx when they had to describe their members in weathers. more specifically i feel like hyungwon who forgot everything)

drizzle!!!!!!!!!! u remind me of a drizzle because ur light not like physically fjhsgh but like!!! oH AND NOT because ur like see through or just invisible no its bc ur always HEre?????? like i see u around and stuff  ofc i follow u but!! like i always see u be it ur text posts or when u rb something or when ur answering asks idk ur just around????? just hanging about constantly and i like seeing u!!! this is admittedly a bunch of shit now what do i do.......... im cryign im sorry this is cancelled but everything i said is true i love seeing u i love seeing u talk to people i love u!!!!! god helpme im sorry this is a mess ill do this again like7 years later where im not 16 and lacking words. id say easy on the eyes is the best reason? like u. ur nice to look at its nice to see you around like i mentioned previously imdhgdghsgdhgdh im yelling u dont have 2 look at this el i love fufgfhd