#ill reblog it again later promise

[thefandomcassandra]

Schrödinger's Cat Chapter 2: Dreamland Clocktower (ft. ANRI) — Matthias Harlow

Content Warnings for This Chapter: panic attacks, vomit mention, anesthesia, descriptions of corpses

Like Junpei figured, the kitchen let out on the other side of the metal grate in the B-deck hallway by the cabins. He pulled the map out of the file folder and tried to find where they were. Grand staircase...2nd class cabins...kitchen. "Here!"

Lotus, Santa, and June leaned over the map and looked where he was pointing.

"We don't have a lot of options, do we?" Lotus mused.

Junpei nodded in agreement and gestured along a line. "Here's where we came from, where we went. Here's where the group in door 5 went. And here's where we probably have to go." He tapped the staircase.

"Probably?" Lotus looked unimpressed with his vague statement. "Why not here?" She pointed to an L-shaped room down the hallway.

"The doors are locked. Both sets." Santa huffed, irritated. He had tried only moments before and the sound of rattling was only drowned out by him hissing in pain. His hand hadn't quite recovered from his stove touching incident, it seemed.

"Plus," Junpei pointed to the staircase down the hall, "Do you see anything interesting about this?"

They all looked at the unimpeded staircase, pondering what he meant. Then June let out a soft noise.

"Oh. The gate!"

"Exactly!" There had been a gate across the staircase, cutting off access from it. They'd seen it before they went into the kitchen. Now there wasn't. "I'll bet that the others opened it and are looking around upstairs or wherever."

"So should we go up or down?" June tilted her head at the stairs.

"Isn't 'down' flooded?" Santa asked.

"We are on B-deck," Lotus pointed out. June's eyes widened in realization. "There's at least one un-submerged deck between us and D-deck. Does the stairwell even go up?"

Everyone looked at the curving stairwell, its carpeted steps, its polished railings. No stairs went up. Just down in a lazy curve. Asked and answered.

"Alright, downstairs it is then." Junpei folded the map up and shoved it back in the folder, which he tucked under his arm again. No one objected so they all jogged down the stairs to C-deck. The floor they found themselves on was similar to the one they had just left, a hallway branching to either side, a hallway in front of them, polished floors, dark wood accents, and the emptiness of a haunted house.

Junpei looked down one of the hallways at a near impossibly long series of doors. Right, the doors. The REDs.

It was almost nauseating to get used to remembering—or predicting—things that hadn't happened. What even was going on with him? It wasn't just that he knew what was happening. It was something...more. Worse. If it was memories, remembering, and if he remembered entire conversations, then what did that mean about his death? That moment he coughed like water was in his lungs...was that because it had been? Or would be?

Junpei swallowed heavily and exhaled, long and slow. No bad thoughts, no worries about what was and what will be. Just what is here and now. Here and now.

While he was having a Certified Moment, Santa and Lotus had poked their heads down a floor and seen what the deal was down there. June had stayed with him and was hovering about, almost worried to touch him but still wanting to offer him comfort. Her presence was...it was nice. Comforting, like she wanted it to be.

"No good," Lotus worried at her hair decoration as she looked back at the stairs, "D-deck is still flooded."

"I don't know why we bothered," Santa huffed, "It's not like the water would drain."

"Maybe the ship had sealable bulkheads?" Lotus shrugged at him. "Was worth a shot, anyway, because it let us know the water level didn't rise."

"That way is all doors, I don't know if anything useful is there." Junpei pointed at the hallway to their right with the doors. "The other way looks like it has something bigger?"

June nodded at that then pointed to the left of where they were standing. "There's double doors that way so it's probably a larger area? A conference room?"

"It's not like we can take the elevators." Everyone looked at them with Junpei. They were the same as the floor above, and likely just as locked, though the symbol on the card reader looked a little different from the Saturn one. Mercury, was it? It didn't matter, it's not as if anyone else looked close at it.

"Do you think those go below D-deck?" June asked. She gently drew the Mercury symbol on the floor with water from her shoe. Never mind. June had seen it.

"Doubtful." Santa looked down the hallway June had pointed out. "Anyway, you wanna check out that way?"

"It's not like we have any choice, unless you want to take a dive?" Lotus thumbed the stairs. Nobody volunteered so she started her way towards the double doors. Everyone else followed her. When they finally reached them—a short walk, all things considered—she stopped, unsure. Even though he couldn't see her face, Junpei could read the tension in her back and shoulders. She was worried, scared even.

Ah well, he couldn't die just yet. Junpei opened the double doors to the surprise of everyone.

Was he the only one who knew they weren't locked? Probably.

A large room filled with metal cots stretched out before them. The other double door was there, along the wall to the right, and on the far side were four large metal doors. Three of them were numbered—3, 7, and 8—and the fourth—the one between numbers 3 and 7—was blank. Iron plated sealed windows, the bolts facing inwards like snarling teeth. They were trapped. They were trapped. They were trapped.

Junpei took a deep breath and exhaled. Sighed. They were trapped but he didn't need to dwell on it. They could escape. It's fine. His nightmare about drowning, about being stabbed and falling into the water, wasn't anything more than that. It wasn't premonition. It wasn't something that had happened or would happen, it was a dream.

They were safe right now. Snake was safe, alive. Nobody was dead.

(Except the ninth man.)

"What the hell is this place?" Santa cupped a hand over his eyes and peered at the multitude of beds.

"More numbered doors?" Lotus was more upset about the doors than the eerie haunted hospital vibe of the area or the fact that they were trapped still. Junpei couldn't really blame her. If—when—they got out of here, seeing a door with a number on it—red paint or otherwise—was going to haunt his waking hours.

"Well, it's not a conference room." June mused. "Maybe a hospital room?"

Santa wrinkled his nose, his eyebrows pinching in some vague, unhappy emotion. "Smells like one."

The stench of antiseptic was dry and clinical, bitter and permeating. It made Junpei think about blood and other less...pleasant things. Elevators that went to hell. Electrodes against skin. Fists against red-hot iron, begging to be let out. A snarling lion, claws cutting skin. Scalpels. Eyes watching hungrily. Death.

The four of them looked at the various cabinets around and beds, trying to find something of use. When nothing immediately came to mind—save Junpei finding a few vials of some kind of clear liquid with worn paper labels—Santa and Lotus turned their attention to the numbered doors with grim determination. June was sitting by them on one of the cots by the doors, her face set and pale but not flushed.

"Three, seven, and eight, huh?" Santa looked at the 3 door, barely disguising his sneer. "Lucky us, we get choices."

"It's not like we could open one of these without leaving someone behind anyway," Lotus pointed out. June seemed to startle at this, eyes going wide.

Junpei did some quick math. If it was him, Santa, and Lotus, that made a digital root of seven if you excluded June. June, Santa, and Lotus made eight without him. June, Lotus, and himself was the only combination that didn't produce a proper digital root.

"We're not leaving anyone behind." Junpei had never heard June sound so stern. No, not stern, sure? Firm? Or something tinged with desperation and heat?

"Calm your tits," Santa waved a hand at her, still staring at the door like he was trying to think of the best way to make Zero eat it, "I wouldn't stay alone in this haunted-ass hospital room if you paid me a king's ransom. Plus they're broken."

"What?" Junpei watched with mild confusion as Lotus closed the distance between her and the number 3 door. She slapped her hand against the RED and swore when there wasn't a beep or an asterisk. "Son of a bitch!"

"They're broken?" June asked. Junpei, too, had closed distance with the numbered doors, sticking close to June in case she started getting feverish again. She pressed her hand against the RED and, when nothing happened, frowned.

"Really? Can't even be assed to keep up the hardware?" Santa kicked the wall next to the 3 door and winced as he obviously hurt himself. He leaned against the door to keep his weight off his injured foot, idly shaking the hand he put on the grill.

Maybe, Junpei thought to himself as Santa started poking at the door frame in an attempt to busy himself, you'd be less mad if you didn't injure yourself every three minutes.

While Santa was trying to see if the numbered doors could be taken off at the hinges, Lotus sat down on one of the hospital beds and sighed, the weight of the Nonary Game settling on her shoulders. She suddenly seemed much older than she looked, her shoulders bowing under the pressure. Everything seemed like it was finally catching up to her. Junpei could understand the feeling. He also felt like he was being run through a pasta press.

June eventually started poking at the RED by door 3 with scrutiny. She ran her hand over the RED and frowned, then turned to Junpei and waved at him. "Here." Junpei walked close and she gestured at the bottom of the RED. "Put your hand here, on the back of it, toward the bottom." He fumbled around for what she might be talking about. When his fingers brushed the right spot he looked at her in surprise.

"That's such a small piece!" It couldn't be any bigger than a credit card, about as thick as a leaflet. "And all the REDs are missing them?"

"Probably." June pulled back and let Seven and Lotus near the RED so Junpei could show them what she had found. "I don't know why though."

"Lazy," Santa hissed.

"Do you really think Zero would have removed that part without a reason to?" Lotus asked.

"Well what reason would they have to gut the REDs?" June wondered. It was a fair question.

Santa rolled his eyes. "To waste our time, of course!"

In all honesty, he was probably right. At the best, this was a way to buy time for Zero. At the worst, it was a way to make them panic. The longer they couldn't progress, the more likely it was tensions were going to rise and the more likely it was someone was going to do something rash.

Not as if Junpei didn't trust the people he was trapped on this murder puzzle ship with. He did, for the most part. But, like the sword of damocles, there was this heavy hanging reminder that death was an imminent possibility at all times. The ninth man had a knife he had threatened Clover with. They all had bombs in their guts that would splatter them across the walls if they didn't play nice. Never mind the constant threat of the ship capsizing—which was especially dangerous because a sinking ship displaced enough water that any life raft or fleeing person close enough to the mass of it would be sucked into the event horizon to be smashed to bits by the water—they could drown just as easily.

Just before the conversation could devolve into another argument between Lotus and Santa—as entertaining as watching her get her energy back by yelling Santa into submission might be—one of the two sets of doors behind them opened. Everyone startled and whipped back to see who it was.

It was Ace, Seven, Snake, and Clover!

They looked confused and surprised to see everyone standing there by more numbered doors. Clover was the first to speak.

"What are you doing here?!" She didn't sound glad to see them, but she didn't sound surprised either.

"Oh, uh, both of our doors lead out to the same general hallway." Junpei began fumbling in his file folder to pull out the map of B-Deck. "We found the gate by the stairs open—"

"That was our doing," Ace interjected.

Junpei nodded and put the map on one of the beds, pointing out what he meant as he continued. "So we came down the stairs to here. The hallway with all the doors looked like a wash."

"It was." This time Clover did sound mad. Snake put a hand on her shoulder and she sighed. "We only looked at one door apiece but they were just...empty. Nothing for the Nonary Game, anyway."

"Why haven't any of you gone into the doors?" Seven waved a large hand at the numbered doors.

"We weren't going to leave anyone behind." Again, June's tone was harsh and strangely stony. Again, Junpei watched her closely.

Ace looked down at the map, fingers brushing the paper as he double-checked Junpei's story. He frowned, brows pulling his face into something that looked strangely harsh. "Well it's good that you decided to wait then."

"Not like we could've gone anyway. Zero ripped parts out of the REDs. They're all broken."

Snake's head turned so he was facing Santa directly, almost staring at him. "Are you certain?"

"You wanna check this yourself?" Santa snapped back.

"We're certain," June intervened. "It's a small card, probably, that's inserted in the bottom of the hardware. Whatever it is might act as a primary power source for the RED, or even the wireless transmitter?"

"Maybe it's like a wireless monitor," Lotus mused.

Junpei looked at everyone as they talked. Seven was by the doors, staring at the numbers as if he was having some kind of epiphany. While June had been talking about the possible nature of the missing pieces, Snake had gone to investigate the REDs himself and seemed to agree with her. Ace had walked off to investigate one of the cabinets as if they had the pieces they needed. Clover was busy glaring at the doors. Lotus was sitting down on one of the beds as she talked, one leg crossed over the other. And June was standing between the numbered doors and the doors to the hallway, hands folded as she thought out loud.

"Anyway, why the hell is this some kind of hospital room in the first place? Many people get their asses kicked on a cruise ship?" Junpei had long lost track of whatever they had been saying, deep in thought, but Santa's loud, bitter snark was a lighthouse beacon that drew him away and out from his mental fog.

"Oh, that's 'coz this is a hospital ship." Everyone stared at Seven. He wilted under their gazes. "What?"

"What do you mean 'this is a hospital ship'?" It would be easy to read Lotus' shrill questioning as furious but she was terrified and confused. Stressed. They all were, really.

"Well, uh, I mean...I think this is the Gigantic?" Seven flinched away from Lotus, logically a little scared of her.

The Gigantic...the Gigantic...why did that sound—? Junpei winced and nearly bit his tongue as pain lanced across the back of his eyes. Right, right. Ow. Don't press that thought apparently.

"What the hell is the Gigantic?"

Seven scratched at his head and pulled his beanie off, wringing it in thought before he answered Lotus. "Well, y'see, the Titanic had two sister ships. Both of 'em were supposed to be passenger liners like the Titanic but, y'know, World War II happened. The Gigantic got made into a British hospital ship and served for a while until she ran aground after hittin' a mine in the Aegean Sea. The Aegean Sea is shallow, right? So she didn't take too much water and retrievin' her wasn't hard." Seven put his beanie back on and waved a large hand around at the room they were in. "After that, some guy named Lord Gordain bought her up and that was that. Something 'bout him having been on the Titanic and survived. Trauma response or whatever. Big Titanic fan, in a way."

"And buying the Titanic wouldn't have been feasible because it was at the bottom of the Atlantic." Junpei added. Everyone stared at him but he nodded his chin at Seven, corroborating his story. "Because the Gigantic had been grounded and retrieved, it's the closest thing he could get."

"Exactly. The Gigantic was identical in design to the Titanic. So Lord Gordain bought it up and here we are."

Santa rolled his eyes. "Yeah, okay, so we're on some hundred year old ship? If so, it's in pretty good shape for something that supposedly sank." He opened his mouth to continue but was cut off.

"Not now, the adults are talking." Lotus waved her hand in front of Santa, her steely gaze locked on Seven. "Where's your proof?"

"My...proof?" Seven blinked at her, obviously confused.

"Proof that this is the Gigantic. Where is it? Or do you only have theories?" Lotus glared at him.

"Uh..." Her pressing left Seven at a loss for words.

Lotus jumped on that opportunity like a hunting dog. "So you have no proof. We just have to take you at your word? Trust your memory?" Okay, that was rude.

Seven winced. "I mean...yeah?"

Lotus snorted and shook her head. "If all you can remember is trivia about boats and rich Englishmen, then we should probably give you more time."

His shoulders slumped and he broke eye-contact with her. The floor became so much more interesting than Lotus. "Yeah...sorry."

Her sharp expression softened and she sighed. Again, it was a noise full of tension and frustration. She hadn't meant to take out her stress on him but, in the end, intentions didn't matter. "It's fine."

Before that conversation could pick up again, the clock in the grand staircase rang out. Junpei—and a few others—counted the bells. "...ten...eleven...twelve..." Silence. Twelve chimes.

"It's midnight." June looked worried. They had already used three of their nine hours.

"We've got six hours left then." The speed at which Clover did the math was impressive. Even though it was incredibly simple, Junpei's first reaction was to tick them off on his fingers, but she did it all in her head.

Seven sighed and looked back at the doors leading to the hallway outside. "We should get moving."

"Moving?" Ace sounded confused. "The REDs are broken, are they not?"

"Well, yeah, but we can try and find the parts, can't we?"

He had a point. "Where though?" Junpei pressed.

"The hallway with all the doors. We already looked at a few of them, so if we split up, dividin' and conquerin' as it were, we can go through the remaining...however many—"

"Forty-eight." Clover supplied.

"Forty-eight rooms. Six each for the eight of us, we should have 'em done in an hour or so." Seven nodded at Clover, glad she had done the math for him.

"So, what, we waste an hour poking around in rooms and then, in the off chance we do find the parts of the RED?" Santa glared at Seven, then the REDs. "What if we don't find them?"

"Well, remember how we were talking about how there's no chance Zero didn't do this on purpose?" Junpei tried to not sound condescending but, really, Santa was proving to be a really dumb guy for all the trivia about gambling and numbers he had rattling 'round in his head.

"Yeah?"

"Oh!" June seemed to have realized what Junpei was trying to say. Her eyes sparkled. "They won't stay broken forever, will they?"

"Probably not," Seven agreed. "Even if we waste time lookin' for the parts, we won't waste any more time than Zero wants. Not by a mile."

"Then let us split up. Six rooms each, you said?" Snake turned to face the area Seven was standing in.

"Yeah. That should cover all of 'em."

"Forty-eight rooms," Lotus groaned.

"Could be worse!" Clover pointed out. Lotus just huffed in response.

"Let us meet up in this room when the clock rings out."

"Call out if anyone finds the parts, okay?" Everyone seemed to agree with Junpei's suggestion and they parted ways to look for the missing RED parts.

As Junpei searched a handful of rooms on the starboard side, he thought about what was going on with him. Not just the Nonary Game—because that was something everyone was dealing with—but the whole...memory issue. Precognition? Deja vu? Whatever.

Thinking about those things, those moments of foresight and understanding, always hurt. It was a pain that burned behind his eyes and dug its claws into the back of his skull, like the worst headache he'd ever had, and yet he couldn't tell when it would strike him. If he could map the pain to a pattern—one that wasn't just 'knowing things he shouldn't'—he could avoid it but...as it was he just had to grin and bear it.

The parts to the RED weren't in his rooms. Strangely enough, upon leaving when the bell rang one, Junpei found Santa, Ace, Clover, June, Seven, and Lotus standing in front of the numbered doors in the hospital room. They were whispering among each other, confused, nervous. The aura of the room was oppressive.

And Junpei was the last person to show up.

Wait— "Where's Snake?"

Clover flinched but remained silent. It was June who answered him. "Jumpy...look." She gestured at door 3's RED.

Oh. It read: VACANT.

"Who found the parts?" Junpei was confused. "Didn't we say we were going to yell out if someone found them, so we could all go through the doors as soon as possible?"

Nobody answered. They all stood there, the air of discomfort and confusion thick and stifling. Nobody knew. Nobody knew who had repaired the REDs or where the parts had been. Like Junpei, they came back to the hospital room and found their path open again. Junpei ran his hand under the bottom of the RED, feeling for the piece that had been missing before. Yep. There it was.

"So nobody knows what the hell happened?" There was no vitriol in his voice, just confusion. He had, after all, been the last one to arrive.

"I got here first, before anyone else. There was nobody here, nor did anyone leave through the other door." Lotus waved at the two sets of doors, her voice flat. "At that point the REDs were fixed. I could see the lights of the VACANT notification. It was...I don't know."

"Yeah," Santa said in agreement. "Ace and Seven got back before me so I saw them looking at the REDs like they personally offended them. So I asked what the deal was and, well, no luck."

"I was the second to last one to arrive," June continued. "So I know about as much as you do."

Nobody knew who had fixed the REDs. Everyone came back to them being repaired and operable. Everyone was in the dark.

Maybe not everyone. Junpei winced as a lash of pain struck him.

Clover, as she had the entire time they had been talking about the REDs mysterious repair, remained silent. Sullen, even. Or, no, not sullen: scared. Scared and angry.

The first question Junpei had when he entered the hospital room resurfaced. "Where's Snake?" Clover flinched.

"No clue," Santa shrugged.

"Everyone else arrived before you did and we didn't see him. Perhaps he repaired the REDs and went back to find Clover to inform her?" Ace posited.

"I didn't—" Clover started to say, then cut herself off.

"He's gotten himself lost if that's the case." Seven stared at the doors leading to the hallway.

"He's blind. Of course he's gotten lost." Santa's callous remark finally got a reaction from Clover. Unadulterated fury contorted her features. Anguish coated the edges, softening the harsh lines of her frustration. It painted her in sharp tones, all directed at him.

"That's not true!" Her raised voice echoed in the large room, cutting off every other possible conversation as everyone looked at her, all wearing looks of concern and confusion. "My brother might be blind, but his hearing is really good! He can get around as easily as any of you! So he couldn't be lost! He - he couldn't..." She trailed off, folding in on herself. Her fury was burning out, leaving behind only hollow fear. As she stood there, fists clenched, drawn to her full height, she shook slightly.

Junpei didn't know what to do, nor did anyone else. They just stood there, eyes flicking between the distraught Clover and the numbered doors, weighing their options. Stay for Snake and waste time or go now and come back for him. Which was the better choice?

Junpei wanted to look for Snake but it would be futile, wouldn't it? There would be no point in looking for him, just fuel on the fire. He wanted to spare Clover the anguish but...some things were fixed events, like June had said.

Realizing nobody would back her up, Clover snarled, angry tears welling up in her eyes. "Well fine! I'll go look for my brother and you assholes can go ahead and leave! I don't care!" She spun towards the doors leading out and dashed off, her heels beating a rapid pattern on the floor.

"Clover, wait!" June tried to stop her but didn't move fast enough. None of them did. She was gone, the doors slamming shut behind her. Only Lotus and Ace didn't react, their faces furrowed in confusion and thought, but not in concern.

Junpei stared at the doors leading out of the hospital room. Then he sighed and moved to leave as well.

"Hey! What're you doin'?" Seven grabbed him by the arm, halting his progress. Junpei winced in surprise but didn't try to tug free. Seven might be keeping his grip loose but the man was an immovable mountain.

What did it look like? "I'm going to find Clover. I'm not leaving her behind."

"If you're doin' that, we need a plan, like before." Seven let go of Junpei, aware of the discomfort he was expressing at being held in place. "We can't just split up like idiots. We gotta' be smart about it."

"Sure, we'll be smart about wasting more goddamn time." Santa snarled and gestured in the general direction of the main stairwell and the clock that marked their limit with every hourly chime. "I say: fuck her. Fuck both of them. If she wants to run off and find her missing brother, that's her prerogative. I don't wanna die 'coz she got upset."

"Santa!" June wheeled about and glared at him, standing on the balls of her feet so she was at his eye-level.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Even for Santa, even with tensions running as high as they were, that was...

"I'm just saying!" He held his hands up defensively. "I don't plan on dying, do you?"

"Her brother is missing!" June continued to press into Santa's personal space. She was radiating fury and indignation. "She's scared, same as you! We can't just—"

"We can," Lotus pointed out, "But you're right. We shouldn't."

"While Seven does have a point about the dangers of splitting up, considering Snake's disappearance, we should do it." Ace offered up a solution. "So long as we communicate with each other as to where we will be and reconvene here, in front of the numbered doors within a time limit, I believe all should be well."

"It shouldn't take that long to find Clover," Lotus pointed out.

"We should use that time to help her look for Snake too." June wasn't taking any suggestions. She wanted to do this more than she wanted to leave. She wanted to reunite the siblings; wanted Clover to hold her brother again. She needed it.

"Okay," Junpei nodded. "That sounds like a plan."

"I'll stay here in case Snake actually got lost or if Clover gives up." Santa leaned against the wall near the unmarked door. He sounded irritable and more than a little bored.

"I'll take B-deck," Lotus offered. "The only places she could go are the kitchen or that big L-shaped room."

"The casino?" Seven asked. Lotus' eyes glittered.

"A casino. Yeah, I'll go there and see if she tries to backtrack to the main hall, not that she could..." That last bit was muttered under her breath. Seven winced for some reason.

"I will look in the hallway with all the doors. Perhaps one or both of them are still searching there." Ace offered. That was a fairly logical choice.

"June and I will search as many places as we can." Junpei looked to June to see if she was okay with that plan. She was still puffing her cheeks out in frustration, her narrowed eyes locked on Santa as if she could set him on fire with her ire alone. "Is that okay, June?" He asked her, calling her name again in order to get her attention. She jumped a little and looked at him, anger slowly fading.

"Hm? Oh, yeah. I'll go with you, Junpei. That sounds good." She still seemed a little distracted, but she didn't seem like she wasn't willing to search at least.

"Then I'll also do a bit of searching across the ship. I gotta' good eye for things like this." Seven shrugged. "So let's meet up here in, what, thirty? Make a lap and meet up. No wastin' time, alright?" He got nods in response. "Let's go."

Everyone scattered to their respective areas with Santa staying behind, looking irritable but unconcerned. June and Junpei stood in front of the stairs and tried to figure out where they should go. Junpei pulled the map out of the file folder and pressed it against a wall. "So where do you think Clover and Snake might be?"

"Well," June traced the map with one finger, "Lotus is up on B-deck by the casino and the kitchen. Ace is off in the hallway here. Santa is in the hospital room so there's no reason to go back just yet. Maybe up by the 1st class cabins on B-deck, where door 5 went through?"

"You think Seven is going there too?" Junpei asked, folding the map up again to put it into the folder.

"It looked like he was helping Ace search the hallway with all the doors." June tilted her head in that direction. It seemed a logical thought. Junpei nodded at her.

"Then let's go to B-deck and see if Clover might've tried to backtrack." Junpei gestured for June to take the stairs before him and followed her. While his weird premonition headache kept coming and going in waves, the pain latching to his brain like some kind of tick or a furious dog, he was still somehow able to think clearly. His mind was running a million miles a minute, trying to figure out where they could have gone, what could have happened, how everything had gone to shit so fast.

Zero, for all it might be obvious to blame them, couldn't be the problem. The Nonary Game—this whole fucking kidnapping situation—was meant to be a game. It was winnable, albeit dangerous. So far, save for Snake disappearing, the only other human loss was the ninth man, who had done himself in by breaking rules. Snake disappearing was...there was no purpose to it. It was an outlier.

But also...Zero could very well be one of them. There was a possibility, no matter how small, that Zero was a player in the Game in their own right, in some kind of equilibrium or balance. 'It's not fair if only you are putting your lives on the line! I will bet myself on your skills as well, so that I can make a point.' Or something like that.

It was all speculation anyway.

Upon reaching the gate that separated the 2nd and 1st class cabins from each other, Junpei and June caught a flash of bright pink. A sense of relief flooded Junpei's body and they both walked towards her, slowly, leaving space if she wanted to leave. Junpei was reminded of a feral kitten he saw once or maybe even a scared rabbit. He kept his hands up so she could see them. Beside him, he could see June do the same.

"Hey Clover?" Junpei kept his voice even as he could.

"Everyone is looking for you and Snake," June added.

Clover didn't answer—or if she did, it was too quiet for them to hear—and her small frame trembled as she stared at the door leading out of the 1st class cabins. Her shoulders were slumped, hands clasped at her chest, eyes blank and dead. Her cheeks were streaked with tears that ran her makeup. It made her look younger than she already did.

For a moment, Junpei didn't know if he really wanted to talk to her or just leave her be. He caught a glimpse of June's determined expression and that cinched it. He wasn't going to let Clover suffer alone. She didn't deserve to think she wasn't cared for, brother or not.

It would make things harder later if she thought nobody cared.

"Are you alright?" Junpei tried to keep his voice low so as to not startle her.

Clover didn't respond. Her shoulders hunched and she tucked her head down, turning so neither Junpei nor June could see her face.

"Everyone is helping now." It felt...hollow and fake, saying this now. He should have helped earlier. He should have stood up for her. Should should should.

But he didn't and now this girl—Junpei wasn't sure how young she was but she definitely was younger than him—was without her brother. He might be a single child but he wasn't so divorced from reality as to not know the bond between siblings, never-you-mind siblings kidnapped for a puzzle murder game. She was suffering and, while not equivocal, if Junpei found himself without June he might fall apart in a similar way.

"You should...we're going to reconvene in a little bit. You should head back when you've—"

Clover said something. It was inaudible, so quiet he couldn't make it out.

Junpei frowned, as did June, and he asked her, "Huh?"

"—lone..." More of what she said was understandable but it was mostly muffled. She was speaking while facing a wall and all.

"Clover—" June started but she was cut off when Clover whipped around and screamed.

"I said: leave me alone!" She was crying again. While at first glance it might be mistaken for anger, she was genuinely distraught and terrified. She bared her teeth at June and Junpei and waved her hand at them both as if she was going to hit them. "Fuck off! I hate your stupid faces! I don't wanna see you anymore! Go away!"

June flinched but walked back. Junpei did the same, keeping his hands up in a placating gesture.

"Are you ignoring me? I said: fuck off!" Clover continued to yell, stomping her way towards June and Junpei, her finger pointed at them like a knife. Neither of them could bring themselves to speak—June out of confusion, Junpei out of shock—and that seemed to only irritate her further. "If you won't leave then I'll—"

"No, that's alright," Junpei cut in. Clover blinked at him in confusion. "Me 'n June will leave. We just wanted to make sure you were okay and to let you know the plan, alright?"

June nodded. "Yeah. You stay here if you want, okay? We're going to go see what Lotus is up to, right Junpei?"

"Right." Junpei noted the way Clover's stance changed, the fight leaving her body. Her anger was posturing and, without that, she was just scared and tired and scared and terrified and scared. She was scared.

Junpei was too.

June and Junpei turned and left the 1st class cabin hallway and hung a right towards where the casino was. Lotus was leaning against a wall, examining her nails and not at all looking for Snake or Clover. Actually, scratch that last one, she probably saw Clover and did the smart thing by not talking to her.

June frowned. "Lotus!"

Lotus looked up at them, unimpressed. "Hm?"

"What are you doing?" June's tone was harsh, like it had been when Santa had suggested they leave Clover. She was angry, not on her own behalf, but on behalf of Clover and Snake. She was good at being angry on others' behalf. "You said you'd look for Clover and—"

"I found her." Lotus gestured towards where Clover was by the 1st class cabins.

"You're still not looking for Snake though!" June argued.

"You don't know that," Lotus countered. June puffed her cheeks in frustration and stomped her foot. That only seemed to amuse Lotus, who rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I have a thought if you're willing to hear me out?"

Were they willing? Junpei glanced over at June, who was still angry. She met his eyes, brows furrowed, and he tilted his head in a silent question. She didn't say anything in agreement but she didn't say anything in refusal either. She was letting him choose.

Junpei looked back at Lotus and nodded. "Shoot."

"We should make an alliance." She gestured between the three of them.

"Huh?" Was she suggesting what he thought she was suggesting?

"The three of us should go through one of the numbered doors."

"Without everyone else?" June was angry again.

Lotus huffed and rolled her eyes. "Yes, of course. If the last set of doors was any indication, it's very likely that all the numbered doors meet up somewhere. Us going ahead won't ruin anything, it'll just give us an advantage to finding the 9 door."

Junpei did some math. Between the three of them, their digital root was one, which left a group of four with a digital root of seven. The remaining group could go through a door and they wouldn't be able to. That's not even taking into account the 9 door or Snake.

"We physically couldn't go into a door with just the three of us, never mind morally." June pointed that fact out for him. "Our digital root is one. The doors we have access to at the moment are 3, 7, and 8. We'd need one more person, even if we were going to betray everyone and do what you want."

"Betray is such a harsh word," Lotus sighed, "But yes, you're right. We'd have to add Seven to go through the 8 door."

"And leave everyone else. They'd have a remaining digital root of eight, which is the door we'd be occupying. If they find Snake, they'd have a digital root of one. If we go through a door without them, we leave them behind regardless."

"You sound like you're morally opposed to escaping."

"I'm morally opposed to sacrificing people for my own safety!" Why was June so upset about this? It was puzzling to even Junpei, who figured he knew her pretty well. Righteous anger was more his deal than hers, unless things had changed in the past nine years, but she had always had a strong sense of justice. She also was more likely to plan things out for fairness' sake than anything else. Lotus' suggestion was not only unfair, but also more than a little morally ambiguous. Their safety and freedom for everyone else's. But also...

"We couldn't escape even if we did bring in Seven." Lotus and June looked at Junpei so he continued on with his thought. "With Seven, we have a digital root of eight, sure, but that's not nine. If we wanted to escape then, we'd have to sacrifice one more person: you."

Lotus gaped at him but she was smart. She was doing the math, figuring the odds. If she was so willing to sacrifice others, she should take into account that others would sacrifice her too. Really, it was a scare tactic on Junpei's part. He, like June, didn't want to leave anyone behind, but he knew Lotus' fear was manifesting as cold logic with no room for feeling. He, like June, wanted to prove to her it was a bad idea to discard morality like that.

Also, to be fair, it wasn't nice and, yeah, it might be childish, but he wanted to scare Lotus a little.

"Fine." Lotus conceded. "Fine. It wouldn't work. You can't blame a girl for trying."

You very much can, Junpei thought but he wisely kept that to himself.

"Jumpy and I are going to go see if Ace and Seven found Snake and tell them where Clover is." June was still a little angry with Lotus. She probably didn't want to be around her at this time and, frankly, Junpei couldn't blame her. He understood Lotus' thought process but it still felt...bad to say out loud. "Please make sure Clover shows up by the numbered doors in a few minutes." She wasn't asking.

Lotus seemed to know that because she nodded. "Understood."

Junpei and June left the area by the casino and slipped down the stairs, hanging a right into the hallway with all the doors. June was still huffy.

"The nerve of her!" She stomped her foot again. "Suggesting we leave someone behind—multiple someones! And then she backs down when you point out that she'd have to be left behind for the group to open the 9 door!"

"She's scared, just like Clover." Junpei tried to point out.

"Well it doesn't excuse her actions! People aren't pawns in a game. They're living beings!" Something about that seemed...personal. Or, maybe in the nine years between elementary school and now, June had gotten more passionate? Who knows.

"Yeah, but I think she got the point." Junpei acquiesced.

June continued to fume. "Even if we did get out, even if we did get the cops or the authorities or whatever, we have five hours as of now. It's incredibly unlikely that we'd be able to come back and save everyone else."

"True." Junpei hummed in thought. Then something occurred to him. Something horrifying that sent his stomach deep into his feet. "Only five people can actually leave."

"Huh?"

"Only three to five people can go through a numbered door. Even the 9 door is subject to those rules, I'm sure."

June's eyes went wide and she stopped walking. Junpei stopped as well and stared at her, worried he had upset her. When she finally spoke, her voice was thin, as if she was using every ounce of strength she had in her body to not cry or scream. "Even if we all got to door 9, we..."

They would have to leave behind two or more people to escape.

What the hell?

Junpei chose to speak first. "I'm sure there's another way." He was lying, trying to placate June. She probably knew it as well but...can't blame him for trying.

She gave him a thin smile. "Y-yeah. There has to be." She tugged on her hair, eyes downcast. "Let's go find Ace. See if he or Seven managed to find Snake."

Down the hallway, they both saw Ace leave one of the rooms and move down the hall to another. They started jogging forward and waved at him. "Ace!"

He turned back to look at them, brows furrowed, but stopped walking so they could catch up.

Huffing, June and Junpei stopped in front of Ace and took a moment to catch their breath. Ace gave them both a smile. "Hello there. Have you had any luck locating Snake or Clover?"

"We found Clover," June said. She was disguising her prior discomfort and anger with her delight at having actually found Clover. "No luck with Snake though. Lotus hasn't found him either. How about you?"

"I have been looking best as I am able but nothing yet. Seven and I have crossed paths on occasion but if he had found Snake, I would know before anyone else." Ace put his hands in his pants pockets, his coat fluttering out slightly. "I assume Clover knows to meet back in the hospital room?"

"Yeah. She's really worried." June tugged on her hair again, eyes downcast. "She misses her brother."

Something occurred to Junpei in that moment. "Hey, do you think it's weird?" Ace and June both looked at him. They were confused by his sudden non sequitur. "Clover and Snake, I mean. Are they really siblings?"

"They could be half-siblings or step-siblings," June offered as an explanation.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean?" Ace frowned, his face more lined than usual. "They said they are siblings, so they're siblings, are they not?"

"Well, I mean, they look nothing alike." Snake was tall and thin, pale, with dusty brown hair that looked almost ashen. Clover, on the other hand, was shorter and, while her pink hair might be dyed, the odds of her having Snake's hair color naturally was low. They looked so different and acted so differently. How could they be related? Why was Ace so willing to accept that when June had to come up with an explanation.

"Clover also dyes her hair and might even use color contacts." June added to her explanation.

"True."

Something strange and confused passed across Ace's face then was buried under a thoughtful frown. "I suppose...now that you mention it: it certainly is strange."

Now? Now he's confused? Why now? Junpei stared at him, trying to figure out what he was thinking.

June, however, had less reservations about Ace's statement. "Yeah! There are loads of siblings who look nothing alike! Plus I think Clover is pretty fashionable. She probably spends a lot of time on her hair and makeup and clothes to stand out. Not sure if Snake always dresses like that but he's a little..." She paused, then waved her hand in a roundabout gesture. "Regal? Like one of those handsome capture targets in dating sims."

Junpei blinked at her in confusion. "Wh—dating sims?"

"What, can't a girl have hobbies?" June giggled.

"I just didn't...expect that." From you.

"Shows what you know." She bounced in place, amused. Her mood had taken an upswing, which was nice. "But, no, they're not my personal favorite. I just know someone who likes them a lot."

Ace seemed almost amused by the whole exchange. "Regardless, we should find him as soon as we can. Even if we do reconvene and enter the numbered doors, being without Snake will leave us disadvantaged."

"Yeah..." Junpei didn't know what else to say. "We're running out of time."

"I will continue to search over here until the specified time. If I see Seven again, I will inform him about Clover." Ace placed his hand on the doorknob of the door he was heading to.

"Thank you, Ace." Junpei turned back to June. "Shall we?"

"Mmhmm," June nodded and started back to the large hospital room while Junpei mulled over his thoughts.

Why was he filled with such unending dread? What about searching for Snake was making him so nervous? Why did he feel like all of this was - was futile? Why was he so certain, deep in his heart, that they weren't going to find Snake? Not yet, anyway...

His head hurt but he pushed through that to clutch at whatever premonition about Snake lay behind the burning blinding pain of it all. Snake was...Snake was...a door. A door and Snake was—

"Are you okay?" June's question startled him out of his deep thoughts. He let out a little squeak of surprise and, while she did stifle a snort, she didn't pull away from him. "You look sick."

"I mean, I did throw up earlier," Junpei admitted, "But also you had a fever. I guess you and I are destined to be sick today."

"I hope not." June broke eye-contact and stared at the doors to the large hospital room. Her shoulders were tense again. Junpei had upset her.

"I'm fine. Don't worry. I'm just...worried." That wasn't a full lie. "Why don't we see how ol' Krampus is doing."

"You think he kidnaps naughty children?" June asked, her eyes glittering with amusement.

"I think he's more mean than Santa Claus has any right to be." That made her laugh so it was worth it. They push open the doors.

Santa was standing by the 3 door. He was frowning so hard Junpei thought he might hurt himself. He didn't even turn when they opened the doors and walked in. He did, however, speak without looking at them. "Hey, you said that Zero wouldn't do something without a reason, right?"

"Hm?"

"Junpei. You said 'there's no chance Zero didn't do this on purpose'." Santa mocked Junpei's tone and way of speaking. He still was staring at door 3.

"...yeah? I did, didn't I?" He wasn't sure if that was exactly what he said and how he said it but...that seemed about right. "What about it?"

"So you think Zero is the one who put the REDs back together?"

Junpei frowned. What was he getting at? "I...guess?"

"You 'guess'? Can't be more sure of yourself?" Santa sneered.

"Look—! It's...it's been a rough day, okay?" He didn't mean to sound defensive but, really, he felt attacked. Or, not attacked, prodded at, like a kid poking at a pillbug or centipede to see what it'll do. Treated like a joke and toyed with. It set his hackles up.

"Sure. Rough day." Santa sounded weary, like he, too, was struggling beneath the weight of memories that burned at the touch. He took a deep, loud breath then exhaled out his nose, almost frustrated. "But really: who do you think put the REDs back together?"

Junpei looked at June to see if she had some kind of thoughts about this line of questioning. Her eyebrows were invisible beneath her bangs, eyes wide like she was the one being put on the spot.

He looked back at Santa. "Well, Zero, obviously?"

Santa snorted. "Yeah? What makes you so sure, hotshot?"

Good question. "Like I said back in the hallway by the 2nd class cabins: if the Nonary Game wasn't fair, we wouldn't be alive. There's a reason, a pattern to this whole deal, right? Not just nines but puzzles in puzzles. Solutions that give keys that solve other puzzles and so on. The kitchen gave us a keycard for the elevators by the grand staircase which means we have to be able to go back there. Something in the door 5 area gave them the key to open the gate to the stairwell in the shared hallway. There are no accidents insofar as the game design is concerned."

Junpei wasn't sure why he felt so strongly about this but he did. The Nonary Game, no matter how fucked up and awful and filled with math it was, was a game. A fair game. No dead ends in a labyrinth, no unsolvable puzzles in a good game.

Undeterred and with nobody stopping him, Junpei continued. "The REDs missing parts is suspicious, sure, but not unheard of or impossible. The REDs near the hallway with all those doors was probably planned. We needed to waste time to force us to...to..." He paused and frowned, a wave of pain licking at the back of his eyes, clawing at the meaty parts of his brain. "To..." He gasped, breaths coming in panicked, weird bursts.

"Junpei?" June asked. He could barely hear her. His ears were full of water. The pain in his back hurt less than the pain in his heart. He couldn't breathe through the iron-and-salt in his mouth.

"So that we..." He tried again. He knew why the RED was broken, didn't he? He knew what the time wasting was for, didn't he? It was to put pressure on them and to obfuscate that—

"Junpei?" Santa this time. Why was he worried? His body was laying on the stairs in a pool of blood with everyone else. Everyone but Junpei. Everyone was dead. Everyone was—

The next thing Junpei could remember—aside from the feeling of a plume of fire venting out from a point in his back and ice water filling his lungs—was the sound of June and Santa holding some kind of muffled conversation. He could feel June's voice reverberate through his body, starting at his skull. What was—?

He stirred and felt a weight lift off his head. The conversation stopped and he tried to make sense of his surroundings.

Junpei was lying on one of the thin hospital beds with his head on June's lap. She had been stroking his hair. She looked like she was going to cry and, for all they might not get along, Santa looked concerned too.

"You said you were feeling better!" June puffed out her cheeks in frustration. By the tears in her eyes she was worried for him. He had made her worry.

"Sorry." Junpei sat up and ran his hand through his hair. There was a dull ache there, physical, like he had bruised something. "I'm sorry, what happened?"

"You spaced out then passed out. Smacked your head on the RED, of all things." Santa—who had been standing by the bed Junpei was laying on—waved a hand at the offending device. "Thankfully you didn't break skin or anything. June screamed loud enough as it was. If you started bleeding I think I might've needed to wear earplugs."

"I was worried!" June chided. She hadn't moved since Junpei sat up, playing with her hair as she watched him—probably for any kind of indication he was in danger of passing out again. "Forgive me for screaming but he collapsed. I didn't know what the problem was since he puked earlier!"

"Maybe he's got brain damage." Santa still seemed like he was unaffected by—or even completely unbothered by—Junpei's accident but...something about his guarded posture made Junpei think otherwise. "Maybe the puking is a concussion thing."

"Aren't you not supposed to let someone with a concussion sleep? Because they might die?" June's eyes widened in horror.

"You're supposed to monitor them. The whole thing about not sleeping is an old wive's tale because they'd conk out with red flag symptoms and not wake up." Junpei rubbed at his eyes to try and chase away the worst of the pain. It didn't work. "Besides: I'm fine."

"You stopped making sense after going on a weird rant about the Nonary Game being fair and then passed out. That's not fucking fine." Santa actually reacted to that.

Junpei blinked in surprise. He hadn't expected him to be so upset. Huh...

"Besides, everyone is on their way back anyway. We've wasted all our extra time." He waved his hand at the doors leading out to the hallway. "I can hear Lotus and Seven fighting from here." They couldn't but the point stood regardless. Junpei passing out had wasted what precious searching time they had left. Good going...

All because of the damn REDs.

Junpei glared at the door 3 RED for a moment, then looked back at Santa. "Hey, uh, about your question?"

"What?" He looked uncomfortable.

"Why did you ask? Not that it matters or anything, I'm just...curious." And he was, though it sure did matter to him. There had to have been a reason why Santa had asked. Everything these days had a fucking reason and he was sick of being in the dark.

"Oh, uh...," Santa looked at the floor, his posture shifting from casual to defensive. His shoulders tensed and he shoved his hands in his pants pockets. "It was about...trust, mostly."

"Trust?" Junpei didn't know what the hell he was on about.

"You said Zero repaired the REDs, I was gonna' say it was one of us, maybe Snake. And in that case, they didn't say shit, right?" Santa continued, seemingly not sure of what he was saying after Junpei had collapsed. Like the point didn't matter any more. "I wanted to point out that you can't trust anyone right now, no matter how well you think you know them."

"And I ran my mouth about how I trusted Zero to run a good game, huh?" Foot in mouth. "Man, I'm such a jackass."

"You're not feeling well—!" June tried to argue.

Junpei didn't care. "I'm not saying it to be self-deprecating or anything. I just made a jackass of myself there. Nothing more."

Neither of them said anything as everyone else filed into the hospital room in pairs. Ace and Seven, Lotus and Clover. They all stared at the three standing and sitting near door 3.

Seven spoke up first. "You guys okay?"

"Yeah, uh, I just...hit my head is all." Junpei didn't want to worry them. There was no need to worry them. They had more worrying things to deal with than his possible brain injury or precognition or whatever was going on with him. The ghost of ocean water clawed at his lungs and he stifled a cough into his elbow. It brought tears to his eyes. "Sorry."

Nobody said a word for a moment, then Ace spoke up. "In the end, I couldn't find Snake."

"Me neither." Seven wrung his beanie.

"No luck on my end." Lotus didn't sound too put-off but she was tapping her fingers on her leg, a strange tell or self-soothing motion for the woman.

Clover said nothing. What was there for her to say? Her brother was missing and she had to be drowning in despair. The fact that she was walking and, to some extent, talking was a miracle. If someone close to Junpei—if Akane died—he wouldn't be this put together. He would fall apart like a puppet whose strings were cut. Like a doll whose thread was coming undone.

Clover was immeasurably strong in comparison.

A heavy silence blanketed the room again before Lotus cleared her throat and waved a hand at the numbered doors. "So let's stop wasting time, huh? Who's staying behind?"

"What?" Seven bristled. June and Junpei, who had already considered the door options and various digital root breakdowns of the current group, were less surprised. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"We have very few options regarding who goes through which numbered door with our current bracelet combinations. With one, three, four, five, six, seven, and eight, we have a total digital root of seven while the doors here have a digital root of nine. There's no way for all of us to go through these doors. Either we leave behind three people or we leave behind four people." Sometime between when June and Junpei had talked with Lotus and now she had given a lot of thought to the doors and who all could enter them. Hearing her logic was interesting, however.

Getting the digital root of the total group and comparing it to the digital root of the doors they had access to was an unorthodox way to quickly calculate how this would work.

If we had Snake, we'd have a digital root of nine, which means nobody would be left behind. Junpei must have made some kind of face because Lotus' eyes narrowed and she nodded towards him.

"Like some of you have realized: without Snake here, we can't all go through the doors. But we can minimize the quote-unquote 'casualties' by choosing to leave one person behind so that the remaining six can split between two of these three doors."

June was, as before, not happy about the idea of leaving anyone behind. "I already said we aren't going to—"

"I don't think we have a choice!" Lotus cut her off, her tone steel-edged. "I've been doing the math and we can't all go through the doors. Either some of us make it or none of us make it. If we leave behind one person, we can open the number 9 door and at least some of us can escape."

Santa pointed at June with an accusatory finger. "You can't keep going on with this righteous tirade every time we try to minimize the damage. I'm not a huge math nerd or anything but the hag is—" Lotus made a sharp noise of protest but Santa continued, refusing to wait for her to get genuinely angry at him, "—and if she says there's no damn way all of us can go through then there's no damn way all of us can go through."

"She's being pragmatic," Ace seconded Santa's point. "If we can minimize the amount of losses—"

"We can all escape! I know we can!" June protested. Junpei wanted to tell her she was right but...

She wasn't and that was the worst of it. He wanted her to be right but the math didn't work out. With Snake dead gone it was pointless to try and save everyone. And it's not as if whoever was staying would even be in any danger anyway.

He winced and swallowed the noise of pain that wanted to escape through his teeth. He had only just gotten back up. Being hurt in any way might make them choose him to stay behind and he couldn't—

As Junpei tried to collect himself again, everyone else was arguing. June was adamant that everyone could make it through a door while Lotus, Ace, and Santa were certain they wouldn't. Seven was quiet, opting to stay out, and Clover was silent like a roiling storm. Junpei was the last vote in this matter to push it to a majority.

"June," she turned to look at him, frustration evident by the way she was pulling on her hair, "Lotus is right. We can't all go but—" he cut her off before she could interrupt him, "—I don't think that we won't see each other again. I'm pretty sure things loop around."

"What do you mean?" Everyone turned to look at him in confusion. Had they not figured it out either?

"The unmarked door?"

"What about it?" Santa looked back and forth between the door and Junpei.

"What do you think it's supposed to be for?"

"Does everything have to have a meaning?" Santa's derision was palpable but beneath that was a weird hint of confusion and curiosity. Maybe he wasn't half as dense as he pretended to be.

"Door 4 and 5 both lead into the same hallway that gave us access to C-deck, right? Why give us elevators to nowhere and doors that can't be opened from either side? The 2nd class cabin doors were bolted shut with plates and yet this door isn't altered in any way. It probably opens from the other side like how the numbered doors only open from our side." Junpei walked to the unmarked door and knocked on it. It rattled and made the same sound as the numbered doors did. "So my theory is that the doors here all dump into the area behind this unmarked door. Inside those numbered doors are keys and keycards for all the places we couldn't access at the start. No dead ends."

"That's an impressive theory," Ace said slowly, "but why does that matter when it comes to who stays here? True, if the doors do loop back around, there's no worry about leaving anyone behind in the long run, but it does mean that one person will be forced to wait out the entirety of the second group of numbered doors. What do they do then?"

Junpei shrugged. "Iunno. Whatever they want. Take a nap even." God knows I could use one.

"I still—" June started but she bit down on the thought. Her jaw worked while she figured out what she really wanted to say. She settled on, "Lotus, what do you think is the best option for who stays?"

Lotus tapped her fingers on her legs as she thought it over. "You, Junpei, or Ace."

So their options were:

June stayed behind; Santa, Junpei, and Clover went through door 3 while Lotus, Seven, and Ace went through door 7 or Ace, Santa, and Lotus went through door 3 while Clover, Junpei, and Seven went through door 7

Junpei stayed behind; Ace, Santa, and Clover went through door 8 while June, Seven, and Lotus went through door 3 or Ace, Santa, and Lotus went through door 3 while Clover, June, and Seven went through door 8

Ace stayed behind; Santa, June, and Seven went through door 7 while Junpei, Clover, and Lotus went through door 8 or Santa, June, and Lotus went through door 8 while Junpei, Clover, and Seven went through door 7

Six total permutations. No matter who decided to stay behind, one of the three numbered doors couldn't be opened. It all depended on who wanted to stay as to where the rest would be going.

"I volunteer." Ace didn't give anyone time to discuss it among themselves. The moment that the option came up, he spoke. No question. Or, rather, no question from anyone aside from June.

"No, I will!"

Ace smiled at June. For a moment, Junpei was filled with a sort of dread that he couldn't name, but it passed as Ace refuted June's offer. "June, I am old and my body is not as used to running around like you might be. Let me be the one to stay back. As Junpei said: I can take a moment of rest."

"Ace—"

Ace's face hardened and his hand moved quickly, something in his grip. Lotus yelped and moved away from him but whatever he had done, he had done to himself. June let out a sharp cry as he sat down on one of the beds, wobbling slightly. His breathing hitched and he placed something on the bed next to him; whatever he had been holding.

An empty syringe and a small glass vial.

"What the hell?" Santa and Seven both put themselves between June and Ace but she shoved past them.

"Ace!" She knelt down beside him, horrified and confused by his actions.

Ace gave a wan smile. "There. Argument solved."

"What the fuck did you do?" Santa snapped the vial up and stared at the label. Then his furious gaze turned back on Ace. "Soporil-Beta?"

"It's a generalized anesthetic. I found some..." Ace gestured at the shelves. "I figured it might have a use. Just not this one."

The idea of Ace carrying around a syringe of what was obviously a rather fast acting intravenous anesthetic made Junpei feel slightly ill.

"So you fucking shoot up and take a nap? What is wrong with you?" Santa remained standing over Ace, even as he yelled. June, still sitting next to him, pulled on her hair, nearly crying in frustration and worry.

"We don't have forever," Ace pointed out. His speaking was slowing, words becoming syrup in his mouth. His blinking stuttered and desynced and he seemed as though he was losing vision, confusion evident. "With myself out of the running, the rest of you can go through the numbered doors. If Junpei is correct, I will simply sleep off the Soporil and you will come back to me bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. If Junpei isn't..."

June was scowling so hard that she looked like she might develop a tension headache. Still, her frustration seemed more worried than angry.

"If I'm wrong," Junpei offered, his voice more sure than he felt, "then we'll make sure to come back for you without our bracelets. I promise."

June moved as if she was going to clutch at Ace's jacket but drew back. Ace gave her a soft smile, his breathing slowing and evening out. "Exactly. I look forward...to seeing you...again." Then he was asleep.

June's breathing hitched too, caught, stuttered, then returned to normal again. She stood up and stared at the numbered doors like they offended her personally. "Fine." She sounded frustrated and, really, Junpei could hardly blame her but...they needed to keep moving. Altruism, heroism, that was all well and good when you had all the time in the world. They didn't, so they had to make difficult decisions and choose selfish options.

"So who's going where?" Santa asked.

"I can only go through door 8 while Seven can only go through door 7," Lotus said. She, like Junpei, had already done the math. Clover and Junpei's digital root was nine as were Santa and June's. One of those pairs had to choose who they wanted to spend that room with. Only one.

"Clover?" Junpei looked at her to see if she had any opinion but she wasn't speaking. She was standing by Ace's sleeping body, looking down on him with an unidentifiable look on her face. After a few moments, he turned to June and Santa instead. "Either of you have a favorite?"

"I'm fine either way." June didn't sound fine but maybe it was more that she was upset about Ace than being forced to pick her poison.

"I've spent enough time with Lotus to know I shouldn't hang out with her again." Santa, however, did have an opinion. "Bad for my health." Lotus glared at him but he flashed her an amused and cheeky grin. "Prove me wrong."

"Junpei?" Lotus chose to, instead of engaging with Santa's nonsense, ask him. "What about you?"

What about him? Door 8 felt...familiar and familiar thus far was good. He could only go through a door with Clover and either Lotus or Seven so it's not as if there was more complicated math to do. It was a binary choice. Door 8 and Lotus or door 7 and Seven.

Junpei...Junpei liked Lotus. She might be loud and easy to anger, she might not take anyone's shit, she might be a little violent at times, but she was honest. She wasn't hiding anything about who she was, what she wanted, and why she didn't want to be here. She didn't lock them into the freezer, despite it being an easy way to eliminate people. She even went so far as to reconsider her stance on leaving people behind—or at least softening her word choice—when June got upset about calling it a 'sacrifice'.

"If it's alright with you, I'll go through door 8 with Lotus. Clover?" He looked over at her for confirmation but she was still standing there, looking at the floor, so tense she looked like she might fall to pieces if he so much as touched her. "Clover?"

"...don't care..." She muttered. Junpei noticed how Lotus frowned but neither of them said a word about it.

"Santa, June, and I are goin' through door 7," Seven recounted, making sure everyone else was in agreement.

"While Junpei, Clover, and I are going through door 8," Lotus finished. Nobody said anything to the contrary. Everyone was fine with the plan.

Santa looked at June, scratched the back of his head, then nodded at Junpei. "Don't die."

"Santa!" June chided but Junpei could only laugh.

"That's the third time someone's said that to me today." It felt silly, all things considered, but it was comforting.

"Well then don't die then, dumbass." He was concerned. Santa was worried and, in his own right, he was showing concern for Junpei.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll try my best. You too, okay?" Junpei watched Santa's face to see if there was any reaction. For a moment—a brief moment so quick that if he wasn't paying close attention, he would have missed it—Santa smiled. It was soft and fleeting, a bit like a baby bird, but it softened his face and made him seem younger.

June nodded at Junpei too, her own expression more serious than usual. "We'll do our best!" Seven nodded in agreement as well.

With that said, Junpei turned to Lotus and Clover, gesturing at the number 8 door. "Ready?"

"Yes." Lotus authenticated her bracelet and stepped aside so Junpei and Clover could.

Clover, still silent and grieving her missing brother, authenticated next. The RED display showed two asterisks. Two numbers. Junpei's was the last. He authenticated and pulled the lever. Door 8 swung open, screaming for them to abandon hope and enter. Junpei caught one last look at June before they would be separated for a while.

Fear, frustration, and hope. Things would be alright, but at a cost. June ducked in her door and Junpei did the same. Door 8 swung closed behind him with a thunderous noise.

"Eighty-one seconds!" Lotus reminded them as she tore down the hall and swung left, disappearing around the corner.

Clover staggered into a run behind her and Junpei followed suit. With every beep of the detonator, Junpei was reminded of the death of the ninth man. The blood. The viscera. The smell. The idea of it happening to one of them now made it hard to breathe. Beep. Beep. Beep. Like a death knell.

Where the hell is the DEAD?

Clover, like Lotus, flew despite her heels. She moved like she was being hunted, like the specter of death was just behind her with its scythe. As the two of them rounded the corner, they saw Lotus standing at the end of the long hallway, placing her hand on the DEAD. The sound of verification was like an angel's choir.

She turned to face them and stepped to the side, waving them to hurry. "Found it!"

Clover managed to get there before Junpei and quickly verified, then Junpei placed his own hand on the scanner panel. The third asterisk appeared, the third electronic noise sounded, and Junpei hurriedly yanked the lever down. The skull on their bracelet display faded, the ominous warning of the detonator fading into the hungry silence of the ship.

Junpei gasped as he tried to catch his breath. Lotus and Clover also panted, though not as audibly.

"That was...such a long run," Junpei griped.

"You didn't have to do it in heels."

He rolled his eyes at Lotus, who was smirking at him. "And you still...got to the DEAD first."

"I've had practice running in them, obviously."

"Obviously."

Clover remained silent, though the veil of grief had not lifted yet. The adrenaline lightened it a little, her expression less despondent and more angry, but she was still mostly unresponsive. While Lotus and Junpei were trading verbal barbs, she didn't speak.

When she did, her voice was barely audible, her words like globs of molten lead falling from her mouth to the floor. "Let's go."

"Uh, right." Junpei swallowed a lump of guilt and sympathy. "Yeah."

Near the DEAD was a set of large double doors labeled 'Laboratory' leading into what was probably the puzzle room. Clover, without waiting for either Lotus or Junpei, stepped into the laboratory beyond the doors. The two left behind exchanged heavy and pointed looks.

"She's—" Junpei didn't know how to explain his feelings on Clover's behavior. She was grieving for her brother, even if they might meet again. She was worried she might be in danger too. She was...angry and had every right to be.

"I know." Lotus' expression was something new to Junpei. He had seen her be angry and defensive and even manipulative. He had seen Lotus exasperated and delighted and prideful. Now she was...she seemed worried, yes, but something more personal. She looked like a mother watching a child suffering, unable to fix it. "We just have to be patient with her. Even if—"

Even if Snake is dead, she didn't say, but Junpei knew. He was thinking about it too.

He swallowed heavily. "Yeah." They were on the same page here; Clover came first. Together, they entered the laboratory.

What awaited them behind the clinical, almost elevator-esque doors, was something even more clinical. A large metal room, a quarter-circle of it partitioned off by glass and metal walls that made some kind of viewing chamber. Outside of the sectioned-off area is filled with old and chunky computer systems as well as sets of lockers. From where Junpei was standing, he could barely see the inside of the viewing room and what he could see seemed to be more clunky machinery.

"It's some kind of...experiment room?" Junpei wondered as he stared at that section of the laboratory. He moved so he could see into the viewing chamber easier and startled at the sight of a human figure lying on an examination table of some sort. He must have made some kind of startled noise because Clover looked at him. Her expression was still dull and sour but she had reacted.

"...yeah. See the mannequin?" She pointed one finger at the human figure on the examination table. It was, in fact, a mannequin. Its wooden head was riddled with electrodes, the wires leading back to one of the large machines. "It's meant to be like an EEG. They were experimenting on it."

Poor Science Boy.

Where had that thought come from?

"Well, we can't just stand around with our mouths gaping," Lotus clapped her hands once, the sharp noise drawing Junpei and Clover's attention to her. "Split up and start solving."

"Why should I listen to you?" Clover snapped at her. While this was the first time she had expressed any strong emotion since they decided to enter the numbered doors, the vitriol and anger was surprising. Or, no, maybe not. Maybe this was just a long time coming. She had been biting her tongue for almost an hour now. "What did you ever do for me aside from stand in a hallway and clean your nails?"

"I—" Lotus didn't have an answer for her. Of course, she was already aware that she hadn't done much to try and find Snake but it didn't mean she didn't care. Not that Clover knew that, however. To her, Lotus' lack of care in the search was as damning as if she had shoved Snake into a numbered door herself.

"Clover—" Junpei tried to mediate but she was having none of it.

"No, shut the hell up!" Clover turned to snap at him too. She was like an agitated dog, cornered and willing to bite anyone who tried to pity or comfort her. "I don't wanna hear it! She didn't look for Snake, she doesn't care about anyone but herself! I heard you yelling! I know what she wanted to do! If June hadn't told you off you would have taken Seven and—!"

Lotus flinched. Her mouth opened, then closed, as if she was trying to say something but was unable to put it into words. She couldn't refute what Clover was saying. She had wanted to leave everyone behind to leave. She had to be told it wasn't possible on top of being wrong before she dropped it.

And Clover had heard the whole conversation.

"Why the hell should I do anything you say? You probably...and I'll—!" Clover struggled to express herself. Tears gathered in her eyes as she shouted at Lotus. "Stay away from me! If you come near me again I'll—!" Unable to finish her thought, she dashed into the viewing room to put distance between herself and Lotus.

Junpei didn't have time to warn her.

The metal grate slammed down, the portcullis locking her inside the viewing room with Science Boy. She turned on her heel to see what the noise was, fury melting into terror as she realized she was trapped. Finally, she started crying. She slammed herself against the bars and shrieked in horror, choking silent sobs.

"Clover, calm down!" Junpei was the one who moved to comfort her. He reached out to grab her hand through the bars and, as his fingers brushed hers, he could feel how cold they were. She drew back, clutching at her face and hair in fear as she leaned against the wall for support. "Clover. Clover, listen to me, okay? We're going to solve the puzzle here and get you out of there, okay? Just...just calm down. You have to be strong, okay? You're going to get out of there. I promise." He tried to keep his voice from shaking, relying on the weird niggling thought in the back of his head that said it would be okay. He needed to be strong for her. He needed to be calm so she would be calm. If she didn't trust Lotus, she could trust him.

Clover swallowed and nodded, staggering away from the wall to grab Junpei's hand. She was shaking but Junpei squeezed her hand once and held eye contact. He nodded back at her, slowly, and took a breath.

"Can you be our eyes and hands inside there?" He asked. He hoped she couldn't hear how terrified he was, how genuinely not okay he was in this moment. She nodded at him. "Okay. Lotus and I are going to solve the puzzle out here, alright?" She didn't let go of his hand. Her eyes widened and flicked to look at Lotus. She didn't trust Lotus to do anything. Alright. "I'll solve the puzzle out here. Better?" She let go and pulled back. "You can sit down to rest. Don't worry about being too active. I'll call out if I need you to do something. Just...breathe."

Junpei stepped back and looked around their side of the room, heart hammering. Lotus was leaning against a series of lockers, her face pinched with worry. Junpei tilted his head towards what had to be the exit from the room, trying to communicate that he wanted her to go there so they could talk. She picked up what he was saying and made her way over.

Clover wouldn't be able to see them there. Not if she was sitting down on the stairs. They could have a talk while she collected herself.

Lotus radiated guilt. It wasn't too hard to realize that what Clover said had gotten to her. She wasn't wrong, obviously, but it didn't make it easier to hear. Fear made people act selfishly and this place thrived on fear. Lotus had only been more...overt in her selfishness—her fear.

"She doesn't trust me." She kept her voice low so Clover couldn't overhear them.

"She's scared." It wasn't an excuse but—

"I just...are you going to be okay doing everything?" A pivot. She didn't want to talk about it. Understandable.

"Yeah. Not the first time." Junpei didn't want to talk about how, like everything else that had happened today, this room felt eerily familiar. "I'm pretty smart."

"If you get stuck, I'm here." Lotus leaned against the door, obscuring the red light indicating it was locked, and waved her hand at herself. "Just...hurry."

Junpei nodded and walked back towards the center of the room. It was time to solve this puzzle.

None of the machines in the room were responsive. One of the computers—what appeared to be some kind of central control system—needed some kind of key to activate it. That was fine. He could find the key later. The lockers...half of them were locked and the other half contained...some rubbing alcohol?

What the hell could they need rubbing alcohol for?

By the lockers was a computer monitor and keyboard but no computer. When Junpei poked around, he realized the monitor didn't have a cord. Where had he—? Oh! Right. There was a power cord by the central control system. Junpei pocketed the rubbing alcohol and jogged over to grab the power cord. It was a thick, black cord with three prongs which...didn't fit the monitor. "Of course." Junpei sighed and put the cord in another pocket, then moved so he could see Clover sitting down on the stairs. She had stopped crying, her eyes and nose red, and was staring despondently out at Science Boy. Her mouth was pinched and frustrated but a lot of the vitriol was gone. She was tired. They were all tired.

"Hey, Clover?" Even though Junpei tried to be quiet, she jumped. She must have been deep in thought. "Sorry."

She stood up and walked over to the grate. "Yeah?" Her voice was crackly from crying and once again quiet. The fight had left her at last.

"I need you to look around in that room. Can you do that for me?" He didn't want to make her do anything she didn't want to but...if she wanted to escape there—if she wanted to escape the Game—they needed to move. Thankfully, she nodded at him in agreement. "Thank you."

Junpei walked to the viewing window and watched as Clover poked around in the experiment area. She toggled switches on the machinery attached to the electrodes coming out of Science Boy's head but nothing happened. Next to the operating table was a table that had some surgical instruments and something that caught Clover's attention. She peered at it, leaning over the table in a way that made it hard for Junpei to see what she was doing.

"What's up?" Junpei shouted so Clover could hear him.

"There's some kind of...writing? Marker? It's on this table," Clover shouted back. "It's a bit smudged but...I think there's something else written beneath that? Like they covered up something."

"I have some rubbing alcohol if you want to try and remove it?" Junpei held up the bottle so she could see it. "Looks like there's a rag nearby so maybe that's the solution?"

"Yeah...maybe." Clover moved to the grate and Junpei met her there, handing her the bottle of rubbing alcohol. She lingered there for a moment, as if she wanted to ask Junpei something, but chose not to. That was fine. Whenever she was ready. Clover disappeared out of sight and, presumably, scrubbed the table. Then, from somewhere out of sight, she called out, "Do you have something to write with?"

"Yeah, uh, I have a notebook and a pen I found in the third class cabins." Junpei pulled them out of his hoodie pocket and offered them through the grate. Clover took them and disappeared again, then came back with them in her hand. On the paper, she had written down a tic-tac-toe style grid with the numbers one through four in a few grids. "Huh."

"I dunno what that's supposed to mean but..." Clover trailed off.

"Thanks." Junpei gave her a soft smile. "Uh, while you were in there, did you see any power cords? There's a monitor out here but the one I have has the wrong number of prongs."

"Uh...I think one of the machines wasn't plugged in. I can check that?" For all that it was bad they were separated, apparently it was doing wonders for Clover's mood in some ways. She was becoming more talkative, even if it was only in a puzzle solving way.

"Yeah, I'd appreciate it." Junpei followed her this time, walking his way to the viewing window. In his peripheral vision, Lotus was still standing there, concern evident. Junpei gave her a smile to ease her nerves as best he could and tilted his head toward the room, trying to communicate that it was okay. She seemed to pick up on that.

Clover knelt down and struggled with the cord then yelped and fell back on her butt. In her hand was a small black object. When she stood up again and turned to face the viewing window, she brandished the object at Junpei. "It came off!"

"Is it an adapter?" It looked to be the right size.

"Uh...I think so? The one you put things in has three prongs and the one you put into things has two." She frowned at the object.

"Yeah that's what I need." Junpei and Clover met at the grate again and she passed the adapter to him. He slotted it into the prongs of the cable, satisfied that it did its job. "That should let me power up the monitor. Thank you, Clover. You should be good to sit down for a bit. Maybe chat up Science Boy?"

"Science Boy?" Clover blinked at him, put off by what appeared to her as a non sequitur.

"The, uh, mannequin?" Junpei realized he might be blushing. His face felt warm for sure. "I - I named it."

Against all odds, Clover laughed. It wasn't mean-spirited, more startled and delighted. It was nice to hear after...everything.

"Hey!" He couldn't help but feel a little defensive about it. "Don't make fun of Science Boy!"

"I'm not making fun of Science Boy," Clover giggled. He'd take her laughing at him if it meant she was laughing.

"Don't make fun of me either." Junpei huffed, only slightly put off. Hearing her happy, even at his expense, really was wondrous. She deserved happiness. She deserved it all because—

Junpei winced. Clover's laughter trailed off. "Are you—"

"I've been fighting a headache all night," Junpei waved her concern off, not wanting to get into it. "It comes and goes. If I'm lucky, we can leave this room before I hurl. Now go sit down while I mess with this computer. You wanna borrow my notepad?" So you're not bored. She didn't move to sit down so Junpei passed her the notebook and pen after tearing the page Clover wrote on out and stuffing it in his pants pocket. She took it and sat down, immediately scribbling something on the paper, her face screwed in concentration.

Junpei plugged the monitor in and tapped a key on the keyboard. The monitor lit up and a string of numbers and letters scrolled across it in some sort of booting process. From where she was standing behind him, Lotus made a noise of interest. Junpei waved her to come over and she closed distance quickly, leaning over the keyboard to peer at the monitor with a strange intensity.

"You good with computers?" Junpei asked her.

"You could say that." Lotus continued to stare as the characters stopped scrolling and left only a single truncated word and a blinking cursor. "There we go. Password."

"Password?" Junpei stared at the monitor. Computers weren't his forte. All things considered, he was pretty bad with them. But if a computer was asking for a password they didn't have...

"Well the bad news about this is that I don't think we have any way to figure the password out the easy way." Lotus pulled out the chair in front of the monitor and keyboard. "The good news is that I'm here so we don't have to."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Junpei was about to continue asking her what she was on about but suddenly her fingers started flying across the keyboard. The sudden motion startled him into silence. What else was he to say to a woman who could hack. "Ah."

"Like I said," Lotus preened, "You could say I'm good with computers."

"'Good' is an understatement."

"Well it doesn't do anyone any good to brag about this kind of skill." She continued to type as she talked, undeterred by any external stimuli.

"So, what, you're hacking the computer?"

"Close enough. I'm building a program to crack the password. We don't have time to manually try every possible iteration of characters—especially considering we don't know the length of the password—so I'm making the computer do all the work for me. As any good gentleman should for a lady like myself." She was deflecting in a way.

Junpei didn't blame her. He was putting on a brave face too.

Something occurred to him at that moment that he hadn't asked about yet. "Hey, so, this monitor is wireless, right? Same with the keyboard?" Lotus gave him a dry look. "Alright, stupid question. I'll go chat with Clover then. Leave you to it."

"Thank you." It wasn't just for her benefit, really. She wanted him to make sure Clover was alright in the same way that she wanted to crack the password. "I'll call you when it's done."

Junpei walked over to the grate and knocked on it. Clover jumped a little and glared at him, scrubbing away frightened tears. He gave her a moment to collect herself while he listened to Lotus tap away at the keyboard. "How're you doing, Clover?" No response save a flat look. "Fair enough. Lotus is busy cracking the password so I thought I'd come and say hi, since you're all alone."

"It's only been a few minutes." She sniffed.

"Yeah, but still...," Junpei shrugged. "Figured I'd ask since you're in science jail." The withering glare she gave him made him chuckle. "So how have you been spending your time?"

"Math." Probably door math.

"Couldn't be me."

"Yeah, well, it's that or strike up a conversation with Science Boy, which is just sad." She rolled her eyes at him.

"Now you're being mean." Of course, he wasn't upset or anything, but the point remained. "But really: how are you?"

Clover gave it a long period of thought before she answered him. Her expression was rather unreadable, her tone as devoid of emotion as she could make it while sounding conversational. "How do you think?"

Good question. Fair. "I think you're worried about Snake, among other things. You're upset and angry. You have every right to be, of course, but you...trust me for some reason."

"Aren't you some kind of therapist?" She tried to affect bitterness, a sharp edge to her words, but Junpei wasn't buying it.

"I'm just making an educated guess." What else could he do? "I'm scared too, so that's not a reach. If I had a sibling—or if June went missing—I'd be angry too. Angry at Zero, angry at anyone who didn't take my concerns seriously. Worried is a given. I still don't know why you trust me though."

It looked as though Clover was going to answer his question when Lotus let out a triumphant shout. She clammed up immediately and warily looked at where Lotus was sitting. Junpei shook his head in amusement.

"I'll be back. You think you can hold on a little longer?"

Clover snorted and moved back to the stairs. "I'm not nine. I can be patient."

"Alright." With that said, he walked back to Lotus. "Got it?"

She grinned at him and pointed at the monitor, which now displayed a three-by-three grid of squares. "Done and done. Nothing to it."

"If you say so." Junpei peered at the grid. It looked...familiar. More familiar than simple deja vu. Wait, the thing Clover wrote down. He fished the note out of his pants pocket and clicked the squares in the order they were labeled in. One, two, three, four. All nine of them were green. Something to the side clicked.

The other set of lockers—the ones that were lit with red before, indicating they were locked—were now unlocked. Inside were two things: a small metal key marked with the symbol for Earth and a small key for some kind of electronic device. Junpei put the Earth key in his pocket, balled up and tossed the note Clover made, and inserted the second key into the keyhole in the control center. It turned without issue and the monitor on the control center lit up.

"Power restored to experimental device." Junpei read aloud. "Emergency system will activate in the event of abnormal subject behavior." What the hell did 'abnormal subject behavior' even mean? Well, if the control center was on, then that meant the machines in the experiment room should be working. He turned around and rapped his knuckles on the glass of the viewing window. "Clover?"

"What?" Clover stood up quickly and popped into view. She shoved the notebook and pen in her jacket, worried.

"The main control system is on now. Try messing with the machine hooked up to Science Boy again." It felt silly to say that name out loud, where Lotus could hear, but it worked. She moved to the knobs and fiddled with one. Nothing happened.

Her shoulders tensed and she looked back at Junpei through the window. "Nothing! I'm gonna try max voltage!" Before Junpei could warn her against that, she twisted the knob as far as it would go. The electrodes on Science Boy's head sparked dangerously, then caught fire. In fact, all of Science Boy's head caught fire. Clover shrieked.

So did Lotus as the fire alarm in the room shrieked. Through the viewing window, smoke began to obscure everything. Clover ducked down and kept her sleeve in front of her nose and mouth so she didn't inhale too much smoke. Junpei looked at the exits, trying to see if this was considered 'abnormal subject behavior'. Judging by the way the system informed them the emergency system was activated, it was likely.

The lights on the doors—both the one leading out of the room and the one that linked the experiment room to the viewing chamber—were green. Unlocked.

"Clover! The other door!" She looked at him through the glass then her gaze flicked to the door he was talking about. "It's unlocked! Head that way and we'll open it."

Lotus was way ahead of him. She grabbed the doorknob and threw it open, stepping to the side as Clover stumbled out, coughing. It swung closed as Clover got out of the way and Lotus opened the exit, holding the door for her as they filed out one after the other, free to breathe fresh air at last.

[velaryon-seahores]

Eclipsed Love Part II.

Pairing : Aemond Targaryen x Fem!reader ( Modern au )

synopsis : You and Aemond shared a romantic bond during your high school years. However, your relationship took a turn when an unexpected pregnancy altered the dynamics. Aemond, driven by aspirations of pursuing a career in medicine, struggled to reconcile his dreams with the newfound responsibilities. Meanwhile, the financial constraints and fear of revealing the situation to your strict parents left you without options, making abortion unattainable. When Aemond chose to end the relationship, you made the difficult decision to vanish, seeking a fresh start. Years later, your son fell seriously ill, necessitating medical attention. The twist in the tale was that the doctor who held the key to your son's recovery happened to be none other than his biological father, Aemond.

Warning: angst, hurt/comfort. Literally that’s it.

Word count : 3.9k

A/n : comments likes and reblogs are highly appreciated!❤️

This chapter was superrrrrrrrr long I had to split it into two, this might be a boring chapter because Unfortunately I had to cut out the important scene but bare with me, I promise we will have grays anatomy type of drama

Part I Part III

Stabbed in the heart.

As you laid eyes on him and his voice reached your ears, it felt like a sharp dagger had been plunged into your heart.

Across the passing years, you toiled ceaselessly to mend the pain he had sown within you. Each effort, a step toward stitching the wounds he had inflicted, aiming to stride forward. But in a mere heartbeat, his very presence shattered it all. Your hand instinctively found your chest, fingers cradling the pieces of your broken heart, keeping them from falling apart.

And right then, a wave of understanding washed over you – the truth hit home with stunning clarity. You saw, as if for the first time, that your wounds had never fully healed, that the notion of moving on was a fragile illusion. Here, tears tracing a familiar path down your cheeks, you stood in that bathroom, a parallel to the sixteen-year-old you, the girl whose heart he shattered.

Oh, the heartlessness of fate, forcing you to revisit the day that haunted your fears, compelling you to endure once more the darkest hours of your existence. It was the day when dreams crumbled into dust, love turned into ashes, and you were never the same again.

A bitter laugh escaped your lips as your gaze met its reflection in the mirror. Qoren's knocks at the door, your tears falling, Aemond as their cause – the scene was hauntingly familiar. Too familiar.

How cruel fate is for making you repeat the scenario.

How cruel.

Ten years ago..

During lunch break, you stood alone behind the school walls. In the same spot you and Aemond would usually meet to have some passionate sex session, but now you anxiously waited for Aemond, your hands tightly clenched in fear.

A hand embraced you, pulling you close against a firm chest. "Already missing me?"

Aemond.

A quivering exhale escaped your lips, carrying with it the weight of your emotions, as you turned gracefully into his embrace, enveloped by the security of his arms with your head buried in his warm chest.

“ Hey baby.. what’s wrong?” He asked as he pulled you away from him, cupping your face in his large hands to look at you “ What’s wrong!”

Tears flowed freely, your sobs becoming a river of emotions. Aemond pulled you into his embrace once more, holding you close and gently cradling your head as he hushed your cries. "Y/n, love, please tell me. What's happened? Talk to me."

With trembling lips, you managed to speak amidst the tears. "I... I'm pregnant."

You felt his hand go still, and you could sense him holding his breath as the weight of your words sank in. "What?" His voice was a mixture of shock and disbelief.

Looking up at him through tear-blurred eyes, you saw his expression transform into one of horror and disbelief. "I'm pregnant," you repeated, your voice quivering.

"How?" The word escaped his lips, laden with a sense of disbelief and confusion.

Your voice was strained as you recounted the events leading up to this moment. "Your brother, Aegon's party," you explained, your voice catching as you relived the memory. "We were drunk, and you forgot to wear a condom... I think I forgot to take the pill."

Aemond's grip on you seemed to loosen, his hand slipping into his hair as his distress became evident. "My parents are going to kill me if they find out, Aemond! My mother... she noticed it before me, and she's going to take me to the ob—"

"Get rid of it," he interrupted sharply, his tone cutting through the air with a firmness you had never heard before, catching you off guard.

You tried to explain, your voice strained with fear and anxiety. "You know that my family only gives me a strict amount of money! And... I'm scared to have an abortion at home—"

"What do you want me to do?" His tone grew a little louder, causing you to flinch.

"Aemond!" You looked at him, confusion and hurt in your eyes. Why was he reacting this way? "My mother is taking me to the doctor tomorrow morning! She won't even let me go to school! You know how they view the whole 'being pregnant before marriage' thing."

Desperation filled your gaze as you took his hand in yours, holding it tightly. "Just lie to them! Tell them we'll get married after sch—"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" He took steps back from you, his voice rising. "I'm not getting married. I'm still young."

"And you won't! I said just lie." You pleaded with your eyes, hoping he would understand. "Just until they forget abo—"

"I'm not raising kids," he interrupted once again, his tone unwavering. "I applied for college just a week ago! I need to focus on my studies, I need to focus on my dreams. I don't have time to look after a fucking child. I've worked hard for this, and I'm not dropping anything in my last fucking year." He glared at you. "Get rid of it. I don't care how, just... get rid of it and don’t talk to me until you do so!" And with that, he walked away.

You had held onto the hope that he would console you, reassure you that everything would be alright. But instead, his departure left you with a sense of vulnerability and pain. The person who had vowed to stand by you had vanished when you needed him most. The person who drew stars around every scar you had, left you to bleed, alone.

Your sweet Aemond left you with a bigger scar. A scar that you weren’t sure if the stars would heal.

An hour ticked by, and you remained rooted in the same place, tears flowing freely, unchecked. Uncertainty gripped you; you felt lost. The thought of your parents discovering the truth filled you with dread. Their strict beliefs would likely lead them to demand that you keep the baby, only to give it away or face disownment. It was a future you didn't want. The idea of nurturing this life within you, only to have it taken away, was agonizing.

In the end, you sought refuge in the school bathroom, seeking the seclusion of one of the stalls. There, you let your tears flow, a torrent of emotions consuming you. It was only when your friend Qoren broke through the door that you found a lifeline, pulling you out of the depths of your despair.

"Y/n, don't make me break this door!" Qoren's voice echoed urgently, and an unexpected laughter bubbled out of you.

Wiping away your tears, you gazed at your reflection in the mirror for a brief moment, collecting yourself. You knew you had to bury these overwhelming emotions; you had no other choice. Your son's health was fragile; his heart was weak, and the last thing you wanted was to stress him. Protecting him from worry was paramount.

Closing your eyes, you inhaled deeply, finding solace in the whispered reassurance you offered yourself. "I'm okay," you murmured, a quiet mantra, like a promise to both yourself and your sweet child.

You had intended to linger a bit longer, hoping to regain your composure, but as soon as you heard Luke's voice behind the door, an urgency propelled you to open it without delay.

"Mom! What happened? Are you okay?" Luke's worry spilled out as the door swung open. Your gaze flickered to Qoren first, who extended his hand to you immediately, guiding you out of the bathroom.

Glancing upwards, your eyes met Qoren's, his subtle shake of the head conveying a shared understanding.

"It's because of the doctor, is it not?" Luke's earnest eyes held yours once more.

Your breath caught in your throat as you formulated a response, the urge to shield your son from unease overpowering. "No, sweetheart, not because of that," you lied, masking your true emotions. "I'm just worried about you."

Unconvinced, Luke continued to study you. "I don't believe you."

Your reassurances faltered, and you stood, gently taking his small hand in yours, guiding him back to the bed. "It's true," you insisted, your voice bearing the weight of your sincerity. "He's a specialist, a heart surgeon. I've heard he only takes on serious cases, and it made me anxious."

"But I'm fine," Luke's voice held a note of certainty as he reassured you, his hand reaching out to clasp yours.

"We know, buddy," Qoren's presence offered additional comfort as he stood beside you, his arm enveloping your shoulders in a gesture of support. "But we still worry about you."

"Why did he walk away?"

"Perhaps he forgot something," you suggested.

"Yeah, like his stethoscope or something," Qoren added.

Luke surveyed the two of you for a contemplative moment before finally nodding.

Unable to resist the urge, you showered Luke's head with affectionate kisses before enveloping him in a tight embrace. "Hungry?" you inquired gently.

His next request pulled at your heartstrings. "Can I have a turkey sandwich?"

A soft chuckle escaped you, warmth filling your eyes. "Of course."

Glancing at Qoren, you exchanged a silent understanding, and with a nod, you indicated for him to step outside with you.

"I'll check with the doctor while you go grab something to eat from the cafeteria," Qoren suggested, his gaze on Luke. "Is it all right if you stays here alone for a little while?"

"Sure," Luke replied, his attention already shifting back to his iPad.

As you and Qoren stepped out, the door closing behind you, your apprehension spilled forth. "I don't want that fucker anywhere near my son," your voice was tense, carrying a hint of urgency that made Qoren look around nervously.

"We'll find another doctor," Qoren's voice was a soothing balm, his reassurance gentle. "There must be more skilled surgeons available. If you wish, we can even consider transferring him to another hospital. My father knows good doctors in Essos; we can explore that option. And please, don't worry about expenses—I'll take care of it all."

Gratitude swelled within you, your eyes misting over. He drew you closer, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. "Come, let's go talk to the doctor," he urged softly.

Half an hour had slipped by, and Aemond remained confined within the hospital, in the bathroom in the surgeon's lounge. He couldn't bring himself to move, his body shaking too much to even get to his car and drive home. He sat on the bathroom floor, waiting anxiously for his sister Helaena to pick up the phone.

You…He saw you.

There you stood, a presence that seemed to pierce through his very being. The girl who had plagued his dreams, who had woven herself into every conscious moment and every corner of his mind. The girl he had fervently tried to erase, burying himself in the pages of books and the rigors of surgeries. For a decade, he had scoured the realms of social media, reached out to your parents, and maintained contact with your friends in the hopes of catching a glimpse of your existence. And now, here you were, finally in front of him. But he chose to walk away once more.

In truth, he had no choice but to leave. He couldn't ignore the pain etched in your eyes, the anger that radiated from you. He couldn't deny the depths of hurt that he had caused, nor could he offer any words that could possibly erase or atone for his actions.

Stupid Aemond... Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Regret and self-loathing coursed through his thoughts, a relentless self-critique that echoed within him. He recognized the depth of his mistake, the gravity of his choices. As he remained perched on the bathroom floor, he grappled with the weight of his own shortcomings, the realization of the missed opportunities and the pain he had caused.

Finally, as if an eternity had passed, Helaena's voice broke through the silence.

"What... What the hell do you w—gods, Aemond, are you crying?" Her voice trembled, faltering as it caught the rawness in his.

"...She's here..." Aemond's voice quivered, his words trembling on the precipice of his emotions. His eyes, blurred by the veil of his tears, bore a weight that seemed almost unbearable. "She... She's here, Helaena. I... I have a son."

There was a pause, a momentary silence on the other end of the line, as the gravity of his words began to unfurl. And then Helaena's voice, tinged with disbelief, spoke into his anguish. "Wait, wait, are you talking about... y/n?" Her words carried a mixture of confusion and shock. "She was in Dorne this whole ti—YOU HAVE A SON!"

Aemond's heart ached, a complex fusion of emotions waging a tempest within him. "I... She told me she had an abortion! She... She said she went through with it!" His grip on the phone faltered, and it tumbled from his hand to the floor, an emblem of his shattered resolve. "That was the last thing she said before she blocked me and disappeared."

The words hung heavily between them, a tapestry of regret and longing, of mistakes and missed chances. And then, Aemond's voice quivered with a tremor that seemed to encapsulate a lifetime of ache. "I know, Helaena. He's mine." His voice wavered, and in those words, a world of heartache was painted.

“ How do you know ?”

"He... He has my eyes, Helaena... purple eyes, just like mine. And his hair... He has our mother curls and a hint of silver “ The lump in his throat threatened to suffocate him, his words trembling on the brink of despair. "His nose, his lips... They're like mine."

But then, the dam broke. Aemond's voice cracked, and he was consumed by a tidal wave of sobs. "And he probably hates me... Just like I despised my father. Maybe he looks at me the way we once looked at Viserys."

In response, Helaena's voice was a soft anchor amidst the tumultuous sea of emotions. "You are not him, Aemond. You couldn't have known."

"I did," Aemond's voice quivered, his palm pressing against his chest as though to contain the shards of his own heart from shattering. "I knew... And yet, I asked her to get rid of him... I'm worse than Viserys."

"Have you talked to her?" Helaena's voice was a whisper, a thread of hope laced with a touch of reproach.

"No... I ran away," his admission was a painful whisper, an admission of his own inadequacy.

"Aemond..." Disappointment laced her voice, a mirror to the disappointment he felt in himself.

"What am I supposed to do?" The question held a pang of helplessness, a plea that seemed to stretch beyond the confines of words. "No matter what I say, it won't change anything. No matter what I do, I can't erase my past. I can't undo what's been done. I can't bring back y/n."

Helaena's response was a bittersweet echo, a reflection of truth and reconciliation. "You're right. You can't undo the past, and you won't get her back. But grant her the peace of mind by letting her know that you have suffered. Tell her you regret everything, that every breath is a reminder of the choices that drove her away. Tell her you're miserable, that life has lost its meaning, that the ambition you sought so tirelessly now rings hollow. She lost so much, Aemond. Her family, her dreams, her stability... she bore the weight of your absence alone. You won't get y/n, but you can at least do right by her ."

The dam within Aemond burst, his voice muffled by sobs"But I want her back. I want her to look at me again with those eyes that once held love."

There was a poignant pause "I'm afraid that won't happen, Aemond," her voice held a gentle sorrow, a reflection of the choices that had led them here. "You brought this upon yourself."

"Then what do I do, Helaena?" His voice was a fragile whisper, an echo of his vulnerability in its purest form. "Tell me, please."

"Go find her," her voice held a quiet resolve, a beacon of guidance through the haze of his pain. "Do what I told you. I'll book a flight, be with you in a few hours."

“Please hurry," Aemond's voice quivered with plea "Please, I need you."

"Gather yourself, Aemond," her voice was an anchor, a lifeline he desperately clung to. "Wash your face, and go."

And as the call ended, he was left alone with his shattered heart, the burden of his mistakes weighing heavily upon him. Struggling to his feet, Aemond rose from the cold bathroom floor, his hand clutching the sink for support. He gripped the faucet and let the frigid water flow, splashing it onto his face again and again in a desperate attempt to snap himself out of his overwhelming state. His gaze lingered on his own reflection in the mirror for a few moments, as if searching for answers that remained just out of reach.

With a heavy sigh, he turned away from the sink, leaving the lounge and heading towards his son room.

Standing behind lucerys room, Aemond gently knocked the door, his hand trembling and so is his breath and legs. Withe shakuy hand ge reach for the door handle and open it.

The room was empty, only his son in inside, Lucerys was looking at him up and down.

“ H..Hello, young man “ his lips trembled with each word leaving his mouth “ Where is your mother?”

Lucerys expression were that of disgust, but then he immediately turned them to neutral “ Cafeteria “

“ And.. and your ..father?” Those words that he forced out of his lips cuts him deep.

“ He was supposed to talk to you “ Lucerys let go of his ipad and flooded his arms in front of him.

“ Me?”

“ Yes you, aren’t you my heart doctor ? “ Lucerys raised his brows.

“ Ah. He must went to the pediatrician. And there has been some changes, so I’m not your doctor anymore “

Lucerys humm and looked him up and down before returning back to his ipad “ you should leave then “

Aemond looked at him for few minutes, swallowing thickly “ I .. Can I check on your heart ?”

“ sure “

Aemond nodded and hesitantly walked towards him, he got out his stethoscope and listened to his heart beat, it was irregular but there was no crackling sound so he was okay for now.

He then looked at his ancle and there was no swelling so he was safe and the danger of heart failure was not high.

“ You are fine, your heart is stable for now “ Aemond sadly smiled “ You will be alright “

Lucerys didn’t respond, he just put on his headphones and gave him a quick fake smile before paying attention to his ipad.

He took a step toward the door, a faint smile playing on his lips as he contemplated how much Lucerys resembled his uncle, Aegon. But as he moved to leave, something froze him in his tracks. His head snapped back toward the sound, eyes widening, and his throat tightened painfully.

"Qogralbar ao kepa, kirimvogon Jaes ziry geptot ao." ( Fuck you dad, thank god she left you )

Aemond turned back to face Lucerys, his expression a mix of shock and realization. His throat constricted, and his lips parted, but no words came forth.

"I’m not stupid, I have eyes and I can see the resemblance, I knew you looked familiar. Plus my mom’s behavior confirmed it all to me, crying over a silver head with eyes that look like mine? can’t she be more obvious. Not to mention that she is a terrible liar ” Luke shook and looked out the window for few minutes, “ You made her cry earlier, and if she sees you, she might cry again," his voice laced with determination as he returned to look at him "And I..." luke tilted his head, his young eyes locked onto Aemond's. "Don't like to see my mother cry. So get the fuck out and don’t you ever bother her again "

Aemond's heart weighed heavier than it ever had before, burdened by a sadness he had never known. His worst fears had materialized before him, unfolding like a nightmare he couldn't escape. In the story of Lucerys's life, he was cast as Viserys, and you, y/n, had become the haunting reflection of his own mother, Alicent. The parallels were undeniable, a stark reminder that history had a cruel way of repeating itself.

Yet, he knew, deep within, that he was not his father. He was not the same. He might not be able to win you back, but he was determined to be unlike the man who had hurt him and countless others. Just as Helaena had advised, he would give you the peace of mind you deserved, something his own mother had never found, not even in Viserys's final moments.

His voice trembled with regret as he whispered to Lucerys, "I'm sorry, kid. Forgive me." With those words, he left the room, his heart heavy with the weight of his past mistakes, and headed toward the cafeteria, where he would seek you out, hoping for a chance to make amends, even if he couldn't turn back time or erase his transgressions.

You stood in line at the bustling cafeteria, surrounded by a cacophony of chatter, clinking dishes, and the soft hum of refrigeration units. Your mind weighed heavily with the day's decisions, the uncertainty of your son's health, and the resurgence of someone you'd hoped to forget.

After leaving the doctor's office, you had meticulously sifted through profiles and recommendations until you found a new physician for Luke—Doctor Arthur Dayne. His impressive track record and friendly demeanor had reassured you.

Qoren had volunteered to stay behind, intent on gathering all necessary details about potential surgeries or treatments. It was a relief to know you had a friend who would shoulder some of the weight while you ventured to fetch a turkey sandwich for Luke.

Thoughts swirled like a tempest in your mind—Luke's health and the shadow it cast over his future, the practicalities of appointments and treatments, and, looming above all else, his fucking father.

the lady at the cafeteria counter snapped you out of your reverie with a cheery, "Hello, ma'am."

You blinked, momentarily disoriented, before responding, "Hi." Your voice carried a hint of distraction as you glanced at the menu. "I'll have a turkey sandwich, please. And could you cut it in half? Make one of them small."

The cafeteria worker nodded with practiced ease, jotting down your order before turning to assemble it.

You offered a small, reflexive smile but couldn't shake the heaviness that lingered within you. It was a weight you'd grown accustomed to, the burden of being a single parent facing life's uncertainties head-on.

While you waited, you couldn't help but contemplate your own well-being. You'd started to consider seeking therapy, recognizing that burying your feelings wouldn't help. You needed a way to express them, process the trauma, and find a path to healing.

"Here you go!" The cafeteria worker presented you with the bag, accompanied by a warm smile that momentarily lifted your spirits.

You reached into your purse to retrieve your wallet,"Thank you," you offered,

With your wallet safely back in your purse, you turned your attention to making your way through the cafeteria, eager to reunite with Luke. But as you moved, you accidentally bumped into a solid, warm form.

Looking up to apologize, your words caught in your throat as you realized who stood before you….

" Why did you tell me you had an abortion ? "

Taglist :

@namelesslosers @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @fernanda-reads @moonlightazriel @topaz125 @justrybca @girlwith-thepearlearring @anehkael @teamstorybooks @riseandreigns4u @noemienakamoto @lijeno @watercolorskyy @afro-hispwriter @khaleesihel @praline357 @fantasticpeaceharmony @brianochka @sweethoneyblossom1 @happinessinthebeing @snh96 @heavenly1927 @zenka69 @toodlesxcuddles @lunamoonbby @blairfox04 @multiple-fandoms-girl @tsujifreya @tempo-rary-fix @lipgloss05 @carriellie @dc-marvel-girl96 @fan-goddess @strangersunghoon @daenerysqueenofhearts @notnormalthings-blog @bluevxnus @Littlelilly27-blog

@misspascalpunk @exitpursuedbyavulcan @saminalloxo @trshngyn @docmartinis @drmeghanjones

My apologies if I forgot anyone.

— Next chapter we have a FIGHT

[bloatedandalone04]

He’s Got My Name

➪the one where everything a.j. does, he does for you.

Warnings: spoilers for takers 2010, once again - no one will read this, swearing, heists, robbing of a bank, mentions of guns, kissing, brief angst if you squint, mentions of cancer, reader is very ill, alcohol consumption, smoking, mentions of blood, pda, indication of smut

Word Count: 3.8k

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine♡

“Alright, sweetheart, it’s your turn,” John’s voice sounded throughout your ear piece. You quickly pulled open the door to the stairwell and made your way up to the floor that held a plethora of offices. “You remember what to say?”

“Of course,” you state quietly as you confidently walk down the rows of desks. The employees even didn’t give you a second glance as you passed by them and towards one of the empty cubicles. Your skirt and suit jacket made you look like you actually worked here, as did your heels and high bun. After glancing around at the few employees that were near, you pick up the phone from the desk and bring it to your ear that didn’t have the earpiece. 

You dial the number and wait a few seconds before you hear a voice answer, “News 14 hotline,”

“Hi, yes, I’m from the FedCal bank, downtown LA,” you say quickly in a panicked voice, making the pitch sound a bit higher for good measure. “There’s a robbery in progress.”

“Are they still in the bank?”

“Yes,” you answer sharply and make eye contact with a man across the room who was also on the phone. He gives you a concerned look, and you knew you had to wrap this up. “They’re a few floors above mine.”

The person was in the middle of asking another question when you hung up, dropped the phone back down onto the desk and stood up straight. Smoothing out your jacket, you stride back over to the door, smiling brightly at the few employees who looked up at you. 

You could hear the faint sounds of the guys upstairs as they robbed the place, and you all but slammed the door behind you once you were back in the stairwell. As you hopped down the stairs, you reached into your pocket when you felt your phone begin to vibrate. “Yes, my love?” You answer as you reach down to rid your feet of the heels, holding both of them in one hand as you continue to descend. 

“Angel,” A.J.’s voice rang through the phone and had you grinning to yourself. “Did you call the hotline?”

“I did,” you confirm as you neared the bottom floor, holding the phone away from you as a cough raked through your body. After swallowing the small amount of blood that pooled in your mouth, you bring it back to you. “They should be here any minute now.”

“Perfect,” he said. “You’re perfect.”

“So I’ve heard,” you tease as you enter the lobby of the bank, swinging your heels in your hand. You got a few odd looks as you walked along the marbled floor in your bare feet, but your lack of shoes would be the last thing on their mind once they found out what was happening just a few floors above them.

“Alright, get out of there, pretty girl,” A.J. said and you could just picture him blowing out the smoke from his cigarette. “Don’t get caught up when the cops arrive.”

“I won’t,” you promise and stick to it as you push open the front entrance of the bank and step out onto the sidewalk. “Be careful.”

“I will,” came his reply and you grinned when you noticed someone on the phone across the street, panic evident on their face as they were undoubtedly talking to the police and reporting the robbery. When you hear the unmistakable sound of a helicopter approaching, you knew he had to go. “I’ll see you later, baby.”

“See you soon,” you say and end the call, reaching up to let your hair down.  Turning the corner just in time to see the news chopper fly over the roof of the bank, you knew it was only a matter of seconds before A.J. began to play his role of an injured security guard in order to secure their ride out of there.

-

 Hours go by since the robbery, and after blowing up the news helicopter and parting ways, the group reunited a few hours later at the club they frequented. A.J. fell back against the leather armchair as John announced that Ghost was back and out of jail. “So I walk into my house and he’s standing there, drinking my whiskey. I was going to shoot him in the back of his head,”

“You should’ve,” Jake says as he hands A.J. a tall glass of bourbon. “The guy’s been out twenty four hours and already wants to do a job. He’s crazy.”

“Or he’s got huge balls,” Jesse offers from his spot on the stool. 

“Yeah, Ghost doesn’t play when it comes to money,” John adds, glancing over at Gordon. “He’s too smart for that.”

“The bastard’s not that smart,” A.J. rasps as he drinks the bourbon. “He’s clever, not smart.”

As the five of them conversed about the return of their former member, Rachel entered the room in a small black dress, looking nothing short of beautiful, but she wasn’t who A.J. was waiting for. 

Rachel smiled at the guys before sitting on Jake’s lap, and he grinned at the way his best friend got all flustered around his new fiancée. It was the same way A.J. acted around you when you first got engaged a few months back, and it was still how he acted now. 

He just couldn’t get enough of you. And that was obvious as his face lit up under the blue lights when he saw you enter the room a few seconds later. You were wearing a silver dress that sparkled under the LED lights and the slit in the fabric had him biting down hard on his lip as he caught sight of the exposed skin of your leg and a bit of your thigh. 

“Hi, boys,” you greet, purposely looking at everyone else other than A.J. 

Tease.

“Hey, sweetheart,” John said back as you smiled at him.

“Another successful heist?” You ask, already knowing the answer as you step further into the room. 

“You know it,” A.J. answers and you finally meet his eye. He looked so unbelievably fine in this lighting, and you held back a moan when beckoned you over to him with a curl of his finger. “C’mere, baby.”

You didn’t need to be told twice. 

You were crossing the room within seconds and sitting down on his lap, your legs draped over his thighs as he placed his free hand on your lower back. His lips attach to your neck as your arm wraps around his shoulder, your left hand coming to rest on his chest. Your big engagement ring was on full display and it sparkled under the blue lights of the VIP room. “I missed you today,” you said, already breathless at the feeling of his lips on your neck. 

“Mmm,” he hummed and brushed his nose against yours, turning your head so you were facing him. He kissed you softly, a groan leaving the back of his throat as he pulled you tighter against him. While you were a bit shy at first about kissing him like this in public, A.J. couldn’t care less, and he proved that by guiding you into countless makeout sessions that took place in front of the guys or just in the general public. After two and a half years, you grew to love engaging in PDA with him. “I missed you.”

You adjusted his bowtie as the other four guys fell into a conversation you couldn’t be bothered to listen in on, and neither could A.J. You were on his lap and wearing the most sinful dress he had ever seen on you, and he’s seen you in a lot of sinful dresses, how could he focus on anything else? 

“I hear you blew up the chopper after hijacking it,” you trail off, your mouth directly next to his ear as you two fell into your own little world. 

A.J. ran his hand up and down your hip, running his nose along your jaw as he nodded. “I did,”

You hummed and leaned closer to him. “I wish I could’ve been there to see that,” you whisper and make your voice as seductive as possible. You trace the skin below his ear with your tongue and feel the grunt that vibrated against his chest. “You know how sexy I find it when you do stuff like that.”

“I do,” he said and allowed your hand to grip the side of his face and turn his head so you could press your lips to his in a searing kiss. You run your tongue along his lower lip before his mouth opens and it brushes against his. He noisily breaks the kiss and you reach up to fix his hat that had become crooked during the whole event. “I wish you were there, too, baby, but this one was a bit too risky for you to have been able to stay. I would’ve loved to have had you on my lap while we were in the air, just like this, but I didn’t even like having you in the building with everything that’s going on right now.”

You shake your head and trace your index finger over the maze of freckles on his face. “You don’t need to worry about me,”

He gives you a pointed look and you sigh, eyeing the half empty glass in his hand.

You reached for it, but he was quicker and held it far away from you, his hand moving to tightly grip your waist in a warning. “C’mon,” you whine, giving him your best puppy dog eyes. “Just a sip.”

While they usually worked on him, nothing you could ever do would get him to allow you to drink even a drop of alcohol. “Not a chance, pretty girl,” 

You huffed and slumped against him, watching him down the rest of the bourbon before he set the glass on the table next to the chair. 

“Don’t get all upset with me,” he says once he sat back against the chair, his hand resuming its movement on your hip. His lips were glistening with remnants of the booze and you eyed them with a sense of want. 

And he knew that.

With a sigh, he uses his now free hand to brush away the fallen strands of hair from your face. “Alright,” he murmured, watching the way your eyes lit up. He was never good at denying you completely of the things you desired. “Have your taste.”

Once again, you didn’t need to be told twice. 

You lean in and eagerly press your lips to his, your tongue shooting out to run along his bourbon coated mouth. This way you weren’t actually consuming the drink, but you were getting the faintest taste of it. 

The kiss quickly heats up, and you were mainly licking his lips at this point. Once you are satisfied you pull away and press your forehead against his, knocking his hat out of place again. “Mm,” you hummed as you ran your tongue over your own lips, and A.J. held back a moan at the sight. “Thank you.”

He just grabbed his hat and tossed it next to the glass on the table. A.J. took your hand in his, his thumb turning the ring on your finger a few times as you snuggled up against him. “How are you feeling today?” He asked quietly so the others wouldn’t hear.

You lace your fingers with his and bring your joined hands up to your mouth to be able to press a kiss to the back of his. “I’m fine, Jay, really,” you tell him, glancing into his worry filled eyes. “It’s a better day today. It’s good.”

He wasn’t sure if he should believe your words, but you never gave him a reason to worry about you ever being untruthful to him, so he accepted your answer and pulled you even closer to him, suddenly wanting to take you back home and end the night early. 

And he would’ve done that, except when you excused yourself a few minutes later and he was met with the sight of Ghost, he knew his night had just begun. 

-

A.J.’s body was covered in a thin layer of sweat, as was yours, and he was struggling to hold himself above you while he got you to yet another release. 

It was nearing four in the morning, and a few minutes after he brought you to your peak, he was there as well and was finally able to collapse on the bed next to you. He falls onto his back and glances at out the window, the still open blinds doing nothing to keep out the four am moon. If your shared apartment was on one of the lower floors of the building, A.J. would’ve put the time aside to close the blinds and shield your body from any prying eyes, but seeing as it was on the thirteenth floor out of twenty, he didn’t feel the need. 

He huffs out uneven breaths, his arm blindly wrapping around your waist when he feels you move to lay your head on his bare chest. 

He had a long day, and it was nearing the end, with a new day just a few hours from now. After another successful heist, counting just how much money they received from said heist, finding out about a former ally being released from prison, and being roped into another job from said ally, he was finally able to end his day in the way he had grown so accustomed to. 

A.J. loved spending hours on end with you wrapped up in the sheets, and that was before he allowed body to fully relax and welcome sleep to take over. As cliché as it sounded, your bodies really did fit so well together. He couldn’t remember the last time he had let himself fall this deeply for someone, in fact, he was sure he had never felt the things he did with you before.

Long story short; you had become his entire world just five months into the relationship. You were everything to him.

Once his breathing went back to normal, A.J. turned his head and ran his fingers through your hair, which was a bit damp from sweat. Your eyes were already on him, and he couldn’t help himself as he leaned down to press what felt like the millionth kiss of the night to your lips.

He sighed when he pulled away. “I should tell you before you find out from someone else,” he began.

You lifted your head so it was resting higher on his shoulder now. “Tell me what?”

A.J. ran his free hand through his messy, post-sex hair. “Ghost is out now,” he says and you furrow your brows. “Let him out this morning.”

You bit down on your kiss swollen lip. “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

“Because he was released during the heist. I didn’t find out about it until a few hours ago,” he explained, running his fingers up and down your bare back. “He showed up at the club tonight.”

You prop yourself up on your elbow. “He did?” You ask and he nods. “Where was I?”

“Bathroom,” he hummed, his eyes flickering all over your face. He wanted to tell you how beautiful you looked, but held off as it wasn’t really the time to get into that right now. Damn Ghost. Still, he asked, “You took your meds, right? After you had that bourbon?”

You scoffed. “I didn’t even get a fair taste of it,”

“But you still thanked me for it,” he grinned and you rolled your eyes. “You took them, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you confirmed and tangled your legs with his. “What did Ghost want? When he came to the club?” 

A.J. sighed again. “He wants us to help him do a job,”

“A job? He hasn’t even been out for a day yet,”

“Yeah, well, no one ever accused him of being smart,”

You laughed quietly, your hand tracing over the ink on his left arm. Underneath the faded Yak, in much more vibrant and fresher ink, was your first and middle name. It was in a cursive font, and the two names were spaced out enough that it wrapped around half of his bicep, and could be easily read to anyone who looked at him head on. “Can I ask you to promise me something?”

“You know you can, pretty girl,” he answered quietly. 

“Don’t do anything too reckless, please,” you mumbled against the side of his neck. “You never do more than one job a year, let alone one right after the other. Just, please, be careful. Nothing too crazy, please.”

A.J. laughed, but not in a mocking way. He couldn’t deny the warm feeling that took over his body at your undying concern for him, despite him doing this kind of work for many years now. He was a rookie at it during the early years, but now he was more experienced, and he had you to come home to. “You worried about me, pretty girl?” 

“I always am,” you reply and watch his mouth open, but you cut him off before he could even say anything, “And, yeah, I know you’ll always come back to me and I know about the risks and blah blah blah. Still doesn’t change anything.”

A.J. laughed again, rolling you onto your back and hovering over you once more. “I appreciate your concern, baby. And I love you for it,” he leaned down to press a lingering kiss to your lips, and you held back the tiny moan that threatened to escape. “And I promise I won’t do anything too reckless or crazy this time around. I’ve got you to come back to, remember?”

-

Once A.J. finished explaining Ghost’s plan to you, you shake your head and look up from your place on the ottoman. “I don’t like it,” you say and lift your head to meet his eyes. “I don’t like it at all. It seems like he’s making you guys do all the work while he gets the easy job.”

A.J. nods, lifting his hand in a form of gesture to his words, “Well, he was in jail, baby,” he points out. “It makes sense that he’d want to be more careful this time around.” 

“Still,” you mumble. “I don’t like him getting you to do his dirty work. This was his idea, right? He came up with it? So why isn’t he more involved in it? Wouldn’t it make more sense for him to be more active in this? He knows you guys have already done your job for the year. I mean, he came up with the rule to never do more than one heist a year.”

“Yeah, well, if Ghost needs money, then he’s getting money,” he muttered. “And with the amount he says are in these trucks, I’m not opposed to going all in on this one.”

You raise a brow and fold your arms across your chest. “How much did he say is in them?”

He met your eye as he said, “Twenty million,”

Your eyes widen and you blow out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Jesus,”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m not jumping at the idea of turning this one down,”

Nodding, you play with your ring. “I get it, really, I do,” you start, trying to figure out how to voice your concerns about the whole thing. “But why do you need that much money? You got a lot from the bank yesterday, isn’t that more than enough to get you through the year?”

“It is,” he agreed and brought the whiskey glass up to his lips. “Well over being more than enough to get us through the year.”

Your heart swelled when he corrected your mistake of not including yourself in your prior question. “Then why are you so adamant on doing this job? You know you don’t owe him anything, right? Ghost got himself into prison, not you or the other guys.”

“I know, pretty girl, and that’s not why I’m doing this,” he finished the drink and set the glass down on the mini bar you and he had in the living room of your apartment. “Think about it. Twenty million? Think about how much that will help with your medication and treatment and bills. I’ve saved up most of the cost, but with this, you could be cancer free by the end of the year.” 

You winced at that, hating the fact that he was doing this for you, to make sure you get the treatment you were required to have to save your life. You were already two surgeries in, and well over a hundred thousand dollars in medical bills, but this was too much. 

It was a risky job, and you had an awful feeling about all of it. “You can’t do this for me, A.J.,” you begged, staring up at him. 

He just gave you a look that left no room for arguments. “I can,” he said and you felt so small under his gaze. “And I am. If it means getting you back into that hospital for what could be your final few months of treatment, then I’m doing it. No questions.”

“A.J., think about this,” you pleaded. “You don’t need to do this for me. You can’t.”

“I need you,” he grunted, running his hand through his hair. His hat had been discarded a little while ago, but his hair was still a bit messy from it. “I’m not doing this without you.”

“Doing what?” You asked desperately. 

“Living,” he answered like it was the easiest question he had ever been asked during the twenty nine years of his life. “You’re sick, and the meds aren’t working. Not as much as the surgery will. This will save you, don’t you get that?”

You shook your head and looked down at the floor, unsure of what to say. 

A.J. stepped towards you and crouched down, taking your hands in his. “You won’t have to be in pain anymore, and we can finally continue our lives together, debt and cancer free. Don’t you want that?”

You furrowed your brows. “Of course I want that,” 

He nodded and laced your fingers together. ��Then that’s it,” he stated. “I’m doing this job, and I’m getting you the money that is needed to keep you in my life.”

You wanted to fight him on this some more, but you knew his mind was made up. And it had been since the minute Ghost told him about the plan. 

So, instead of fighting him, you wrap your arms around his neck and press your lips to his. He stands up with you in his arms, his lips meshing against yours in a needy kiss. “I love you,” you murmur against his mouth. “I love you so much.”

“I love you,” he said back and gently guided you towards the couch, letting his body hover over yours once you landed on the cushion with a soft thud.

-

Part 2

[thepixelelf]

Band of Silver, Remember my Vow [Teaser]

Based on and inspired by the Sanskrit play, Sakuntala; or The Ring of Recollection, by Kālidāsa, which dramatizes the story of Sakuntala as told in the epic, the Mahābhārata

genres: romance, angst, past civilization au (set in a made up land inspired by joseon and influenced by other asian (and hints of european :/) cultures), subtle magic, not e2l just people who annoy each other at the start to people hopelessly in love w each other pairing: healer reader x lord scoups. platonic reader & soldier dino teaser word count: 2.2k estimated fic word count: ~15k teaser warnings: injury by weapon to an animal (hunting). animal attack. estimated fic warnings: descriptions of blood, injury, and illness. (possibly) sex but not smut. animal gore. notes: this was meant to be for caratlibrary's fall collaboration, but I flubbed it on the deadline (no surprise there!). I'm still not done, but I wanted to post this to see if people are as interested in the story as I am! I will not be making a requestable taglist, however I will be tagging people who comment/show interest in the tags of reblogs

In the story of Sakuntala, the king Dusyanta ends a hunting trip before he comes across the beautiful Sakuntala in a nearby hermitage. He is immediately captivated by her, courts her, and marries her soon after. However, he must return to his royal duties in the capital. He leaves his signet ring with her, promising to return. While distracted with her love for Dusyanta, Sakuntala forgets to greet a visiting and easily irritated sage. Angered by her disrespect, he curses her by making Dusyanta forget her existence. He is later convinced to lighten her punishment, and revises the curse so that the king will remember everything upon seeing the ring he left behind.

teaser under the cut!

The bowstring pulls taut as Seungcheol draws his arm back. His aim is unwavering— it better be, with all the years of training his breath to even at will, all those days spent shooting arrows at dyed targets and skittering rabbits. He kneels in the grass, still as a corpse, and waits for the stag to lift its head from where it’s dipped at the base of a tree.

Wait. Patience. That’s what he was taught.

Patience. Wait. Wait. Breathe.

But — air huffs through Seungcheol’s nose — why isn’t it lifting its damn head? The entire forest surrounding him is quiet. Nothing is here to disturb this perfect moment. This almost perfect moment.

Seungcheol fills his chest with air again, even and silent.

Wait. Patience. Breathe. Lift your damn—

“What are you doing?”

Startling at the sudden whisper in his ear, Seungcheol swerves to the side, his fingers slipping and releasing his arrow into the air. It slams into a tree, right where the stag’s neck would have been had it lifted its head. The sound echoes through the forest, and it spooks the stag. It dashes off out of sight, and Seungcheol curses under his breath.

“Why would you—” He whips his head around and finds you crouching next to him, a woven basket resting on your hip, held there by one hand. For only a moment, he is distracted by your face, and the way the sunlight, broken through the leaves of the forest, dances on your cheeks. He clears his throat. “Do you know what you’ve just done?”

You blink and tilt your head. “What have I done?”

Abruptly, Seungcheol stands, gesturing his bow towards where the stag disappeared. “My— you…” He huffs, then looks away, returning the bow to its spot on his back and tearing off his gloves in muted frustration.

He came here for a distraction, but you are closer to an annoyance, albeit a not unattractive one. He prefers to lose himself in the concentration of the hunt.

As he moves to follow the deer, your voice stops him.

“Where are you from?”

When he turns, you’ve already stood up, and you regard him with slightly furrowed brows.

“You must be from rather far,” you say without giving him much chance to respond. “Were you planning on shooting him?”

“Him?” Seungcheol echoes. “You’re referring to that animal?”

You hum, nodding to yourself. “Rather far indeed. He may very well have been the patron spirit of these woods.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s a terrible dishonour to harm an antlered one in this forest. A dishonour to what this place provides, and the vast life within it,” you explain, though the words mean nothing to Seungcheol. You step closer to him, tilting your body to peer at the quiver of arrows on his back. “You’d be a fool to attempt to kill one, and invite grand misfortune by doing so.”

His jaw clenches, and air comes out of his nose hot. “Who are you to call me a fool? Do you know who I am?”

You straighten. “Am I supposed to? You’re quite far from home.”

“I am Lord Choi Seungcheol,” he announces with pride, though it tastes of the arrogance his mother always tutted at on his tongue. “General of the Four Peak Soldiers, and— and future ruler of the Eastern District.”

You make a face, and it only makes the anger in Seungcheol burn hotter.

“A lord, huh?” you taunt. “Or a general. Which one is it? Or does it not matter?” Leaning back slightly, you study his face. “Certainly, it doesn’t matter to me. I am neither a Four Peak soldier, nor a citizen of the Eastern District, so I will say as I please. A fool is a fool.”

Seungcheol raises his hand, and you flinch, but only slightly. Your eyes remain firm on his.

He lowers his hand, tired of your presence and of having to listen. If he and you were in his district, you’d have serious punishment awaiting your next sunrise. However, he was out on his own, alone on a rogue, spontaneous hunting trip far away from home because he wanted some space to get his thoughts together. It’s something he’s done before, two or three or nine times. His mother shows contempt for this habit of his, but she does not try to stop him. All she asks is that he not bring home trouble.

You seem like trouble.

How was he supposed to know that the woods he ventured into had such trivial myths to abide by?

He is Choi Seungcheol, damn it. Your silly fairy tales won’t deter him.

Deciding to spare you this time, Seungcheol breathes out and turns away, walking now in the direction of where he tied his horse. Perhaps this trip was a failure. To expect to clear his head the same way he has done before was foolish — though he would never admit that. What is on his mind now is much heavier, much more inevitable than the other things he would run away from in his youth.

A marriage to the country’s princess.

His marriage to her.

Seungcheol’s hands twitch, and he yearns to draw his bow again.

“Lord General,” you call out, the tone of your voice itself a warning. “Don’t be a fool.”

He ignores you.

=

Ricecake seems to have had a much better experience in this forest than Seungcheol. He finds her munching on the lush, untrodden grass, and he almost feels bad for interrupting her meal. However, that feeling lessens when he remembers that if he were successful in his hunt, she'd have to carry the spoils all the way home. At least she has that.

Seungcheol rides for not half an hour, following the river, before another stag dashes alongside his path. He spends no time thinking. Pulling his bow from his shoulder, he notches an arrow and lets it fly. A second arrow leaves his fingers before he blinks.

The stag rears on its hind legs, one arrow in its thick neck and one pierced directly through its eye. It shrieks, haunted and low.

But it does not fall.

Seungcheol dismounts from his horse and draws another arrow, aiming again for its neck so it cannot escape far before it dies. He expects it to run in the opposite direction.

Its hooves dig into the dirt beneath it, and the stag charges towards Seungcheol.

He has no time to react, his arms moving instinctually to protect his head, before pain blooms fiery red from his torso. An icy cold engulfs him, and everything goes dark.

=

Pain is what wakes him up, dull and aching, but when he attempts to right himself, Seungcheol winces. A fierce pang rings in his body from his stomach to his right ear, which sparks a jolt of pain throughout his head. He falls back again, though his head doesn’t hit the hard earth. Instead, a steady hand catches his head, and another gently touches the front of his shoulder, as if to calm him.

“Easy there, Lord General.”

Your voice, and the way you patronise his titles again, make Seungcheol frown. It hurts to breathe, but he can’t help the annoyance that refills within him. What the hell are you doing here? Did you follow him? Why are your hands so gentle?

Though his headache may worsen with sunlight, Seungcheol pries his eyes open. His eyelids are heavy, and for a moment, he thinks he must not have opened them fully. He can barely see you, even though it was midday when he’d been knocked unconscious. It then registers that he is no longer outside, in the woods, but in a room, lowly lit with sparsely strewn candles.

The realisation makes him want to jump up again, but the pain in his torso forces a groan from him, and he falls back onto the support of your hand. He strains his head to assess his surroundings. “Where am I?” he grits out. It hurts to speak.

“Be careful,” you say, concern sewn into your brows. “You may have broken your ribs.”

He demands, though perhaps sounding weaker than he likes, “Answer the question.”

Your lips settle into a straight line, and you breathe out through your nose. “You’re in my home.”

“Why?”

“I found you nearby,” you begin to explain, pulling your hand out from under him to cross your arms. He feels a thin layer of folded cloth under his head. “You were washed up on the riverbank, unconscious. Bloody…bruised…” You tilt your head. “Perhaps even more bruised now, since I practically had to drag you here, though the balm should help with the scrapes.”

“Balm?” Seungcheol echoes. Now that he thinks about it, there is a strange warmth seeping through the skin on his face. “You’re a healer,” he concludes.

You nod, and for the first time, Seungcheol sees a smile on your lips. In the candlelight, it only adds to the warmth.

“You’re lucky it was me who found you. Who knows how long you were lying in the cold water.” You sit back, eyes thoughtfully gazing over Seungcheol’s blanket-covered body. They pause around where Seungcheol’s left hand is. “I was able to save almost all your fingers.”

Seungcheol’s eyes widen, and he jerks his hands out from under the blanket to hold above his face. The pain this causes is in the background compared to his panic, but that fades soon after he sees all ten fingers, wiggles them, then glares at you.

You’re smiling wider now. “That was a joke, Lord General.” At his glare sharpening, you let out a small laugh. “Your fingers are fine. They might be stiff for a few days, though.” Your expression shifts to a more serious one. “Your ribs, on the other hand… You’re severely bruised. I suspect they may be fractured.

Breathing in again, Seungcheol watches the way you eye his chest as it rises and falls. It hurts like a bonfire has sparked in his lungs.

“What happened?” you ask, no residual hint of playfulness in the simple question.

“I…” In the back of his mind, Seungcheol sees the stag again, sees the blood rivering from its eye and neck, sees its antlers as they bouldered into him. He sees you, and how you spoke to him in the forest. An enchantingly bright bad omen.

Don’t be a fool.

Yet here he is, under your care in your home, for doing the very thing you warned him not to.

"...I fell," he says after a moment of quiet. It’s only a half-lie. He did fall, even if that wasn’t how he sustained the injuries to his ribs.

One of your eyebrows rises up your forehead. “You fell.”

“...Yes.”

You hum, doubtful. “Off your horse, I assume. I’ve seen similar bruising and fractures when people are kicked. It happens to someone around here at least once a year; there’s no shame in getting unsaddled.”

He’s never fallen off Ricecake — she’s the perfect companion, but Seungcheol grits his teeth and says, “I suppose there’s not.”

A triumphant grin appears on your face, and you turn slightly to reach for a small notebook. “Well, Lord General—”

“That is not my title,” he interrupts on principle, though he instantly regrets it with the waking pain in his chest. Still, he cannot stop himself from correcting you. “You will address me as Lord Choi, or ‘my Lord’.”

Your eyes don’t leave your notes. “Alright Lord General, it—”

“You can’t—”

“—is my professional opinion that you should be on bed rest for three days, though your full recovery could take two to three moons. I’ll need to monitor your breathing until it regulates.” You speak as if Seungcheol is just anyone, not someone with power or higher standing. To you, he is just a patient.

Why does that thought not continue to anger him?

“I need to find my horse,” he tells you. “There are healers in the Four Peak fortress that can oversee my recovery.”

You shake your head. “Riding is out of the question. It will only worsen your condition.”

“I can’t stay here. I am needed as their leader.” And his mother is going to kill him for being gone more than a few days without a word.

“Do you have a palanquin?”

Seungcheol frowns. “Do I look like I have a palanquin with me?”

“Could you send for one?” you rephrase.

He ponders on that. It is rare for him to ride a palanquin, even back home. The cart is used more decoratively these days, reserved for events like longevity parades through the city, and no longer for extended trips over uneven ground like the forests he travelled through to find himself on your land. 

Still, he can’t stay here. Certainly not for three moons. “I’ll write a missive.”

“Alright,” you say with a nod. “There’s a merchant group that travels every two weeks between here and a city in the Eastern District. You can send it with one of them.”

“When are they travelling next?”

“You’re lucky, Lord General. They leave for the east in five days.”

Not as soon as he’d like, but at least the merchants hadn’t just left. Then he would have to stay here for one full moon before he’d even be able to send for help.

“For now,” you continue, “you should rest. It’s late, and your body needs time to recover.”

do not send an ask/reply just asking to be on a taglist!! I will only be tagging people who reblog and comment in the tags!!

[joelmillers-whore]

Couldn't Help It

summary: getting sick was not part of the plan and letting your boyfriend frankie take care of you while you’re sick was definitely not in that plan either. 

word count: 2.4K 

series or one-shot 

warnings: no warnings for this one. just some sweet ol’ fluff for you all today. some mild swearing i guess, frankie morales x f!reader

A/N: this is my first frankie fic so please be nice lol. not that y’all wouldn’t be. this is just a very short fic to start off with, i promise i’ll write some smut for him next time. enjoy and don’t hesitate to comment, reblog, and leave a like.

tags: @hellishjoel @ilovepedro

You’d felt it the night before, the burning and the scratchiness in the back of your throat. You tried to ignore it, tried to will the start of your illness away. You had popped every godforsaken pill out there and took enough sleeping medicine to knock out a small elephant, determined to head it off at the pass. 

Nothing seemed to help you and now you were confined to your bed, fighting against a pounding headache and racking up a killer fever. You could have probably pushed through the ailments, continued on like nothing was wrong and completed your thesis as normal. 

But pushing yourself to your limit time and time again, staying up until the early hours and only nabbing a couple of hours of sleep was surely the main reason why you were sick now. It was your body's way of telling you to slow down. 

For months, you had been running on fumes, trying to get to the end of the tunnel after so many years of rigorous schooling. You’d never needed a break, or never wanted to stop and take one, and now you were being forced to. 

Although now, school seemed like a distant thought, actually, every thought seemed distant, like they were just on the outskirts of your mind, clouded in a sickness-induced fog that you couldn’t seem to wade through, no matter how hard you tried. 

Every limb felt heavy as you attempted to maneuver around your apartment, you felt weak and tired and on some level, even vulnerable. You couldn’t function normally, you couldn’t even do something as normal as drink water. This definitely wasn’t your run-of-the-mill common cold, you’d thought. This had to be the thing that wiped out the dinosaurs. 

You tossed and turned in your bed, trying to get comfortable, your body aching and your ears ringing. You had to periodically swallow, on account of the build-up of pressure in your ears, which was proving to be annoying. 

Sweat clung to every surface, feeling unbearable as you become either too hot or too cold, casting your blanket off of yourself and then pulling it back over you a minute later, your body succumbing to a full body chill. 

Your lids dropped closed, the call of sleep loud enough now that you couldn’t ignore it. Sleep seemed like a good idea, a great idea even, and you let yourself slip under with little resistance. 

You didn’t know how long you had been asleep for, it could have been minutes, it could have been days, but all you knew was that you were feeling somewhat better. You were still a far cry from being a hundred percent, but it was something. 

It was still difficult to swallow, and your throat was still scratchy and dry, but now, your head wasn’t pounding and your body temperature was starting to regulate itself. You were coasting along with your high fever, a daze settling over you as you stripped off your layers, trying to cool down. 

Still feeling groggy from sleep, you hadn’t heard the door at first, but your ears perked up when it got louder, your body jolting up in bed at the incessant pounding coming from your front door. You groaned, wondering who it could be. 

You certainly weren’t expecting anyone and you sure as hell were going to be pissed if it was your creepy neighbour again, wanting to ask you out for the millionth time. Sliding out from the warmth of your covers, you really, really didn’t want to see anyone right now, not when you probably looked like something that crawled out of a sewer. 

Hoisting yourself up from the bed on wobbly legs, you padded out of your bedroom, crossed the apartment, and pulled open your door. Your eyes nearly bugged out of your head, surprised to see who had been on the other side of your door. It was Frankie, your boyfriend. 

Frankie had been to your apartment before, but only briefly and you had thought that he had forgotten your address entirely. It wasn’t as if he was an unwelcome sight, quite the opposite actually. He stood straight, tall, and he towered over you. His unkempt curls peeked out from underneath his signature baseball cap and a weak smirk was present on his face. 

His arms were crossed but his aura was anything but unpleasant. His light green button-up was stretched tight across his chest and bulging arm muscles, pulling the material so snuggly that you thought it would rip and if you were feeling better, you would have liked to see that happen. You still wanted to, if you were honest with yourself. 

Frankie’s coffee-brown eyes were blown, a tick of worry flooding them as he looked at you— only you. Your heart hammered in your throat, an air of restlessness settling over you at the realization that Frankie was worried about you, for some reason. 

You hadn’t been dating each other long, it had only been about four months, but the way that Frankie always seemed to look at you, with adoration and a soft protectiveness, similar to how he was looking at you now, made your stomach erupt with an incomparable amount of flutters. 

You leaned your head against the frame of the door, eying Frankie as he analyzed you, and studied you like you were his favourite book. It should have unnerved you, the intensity of it, but the idea of him being so concerned with your well-being calmed you. 

“Hi”, you said, your voice coming out raspier than you were expecting. 

Frankie inched forward subtly, his hand mindlessly drifting to your hip, “Hey”, he paused. His eyes flicked down the length of you, those bushy brows creasing, “Are you okay?”. 

Your lips tipped up at the sides, pulling into a light smile. All you could do was hum your reply, suddenly overcome with tiredness again. 

“I was worried ‘bout you. Haven’t heard from you in two days”, Frankie muttered, trying to hide how worried he actually was about you. But at this point, even if your current state, you could pick up on his different cadences. 

Your eyebrows knitted together, “Has it really been two days?”. 

Time almost seemed to stand still when you were sick, the concept foreign to you when you couldn’t even think straight. 

He nods, his pupils blown and fixated on you. “What’s going on?”. 

You chewed on your lower lip, tugging at the sensitive skin harshly as you debated your next words. It was a simple enough question and it deserved a clear, simple answer. But for some reason, when you opened your mouth to speak, nothing came out. 

This was the first time that Frankie had seen you like this— had seen you as this frail and feeble version of yourself, and you didn’t like it. Because this wasn’t who you were and it wasn’t who you wanted to be thought of as. Someone who needed to be helped and someone who always needed saving, and you definitely didn’t want Frankie to see you that way. 

So instead of giving him the direct answer, you opted for, “Nothing, ‘m fine”. 

Frankie scanned your face, his face twitching imperceptibly, like he didn’t believe you at all. 

“You’re not”, he tightened his grip on your hip, “You don’t look fine”.  

You forced a chuckle from your throat, thinking that the garbled noise was close enough to pass as a laugh, “Thanks...”. 

He sighed, shuffling his cap on his head nervously, “That’s not what I meant... I just meant, you don’t look like yourself”. 

His other hand came up to cup your cheek, thumb running across your cheekbone softly, lovingly. Your eyes flitted closed at his touch, soaking in the feeling and almost moaning from how good it felt. But you held yourself back. 

It was becoming increasingly difficult to continue holding yourself up, your weakened strength waning the longer you stood. You needed to sit down, or rather lie down, but with Frankie there, you couldn’t exactly escape to your bed without admitting to him that something was wrong with you. 

Pushing yourself off of the door, you shuffled to the living room, plopping down on the couch with a small groan. Frankie wordlessly closed your door, following you deeper into your apartment. He stood above you, pulling his cap off and running a hand through his already tussled curls. 

The action was more mesmerizing than you wanted to admit, and you found yourself licking your dry lips. 

Frankie smiled down at you, his eyes gleaming in the low light of the lamp that was next to you. His deft fingers raised to your chin, tipping your head up so that your eyes met his, “You’re not feeling well, hm?”. 

You shook your head, still adamant about remaining strong, “Told you, I’m fine”. 

Frankie’s face fell, those gleaming eyes losing their shine, “Don’t lie to me. I thought we didn’t do that with each other”. 

Your gut soured at the thought. It was true, you never wanted to lie to Frankie and still keeping him at arm’s length was killing you. But it wasn’t like you did it on purpose, not consciously anyway. A string of shitty ex-boyfriends who had left their mark on you made you weary of trusting anyone you were seeing. 

But Frankie wasn’t like any of them, he wasn’t like anyone you’d ever met actually. He was kind and he was the best man you’d ever known. He didn’t force you into situations that made you uncomfortable, or manipulate you emotionally just because he could. 

And he didn’t deserve to be shut out. You rolled your shoulders back, taking a stabilizing breath. “This is humiliating”, you mumbled. 

Frankie’s lips twitched, his fingers still holding onto your chin, “Why?”. 

“Because...”, you sighed, avoiding his eyes, “I just... I’m not used to needing anyone”, you paused, trying to get out what you were thinking without stumbling over your words, “It’s just been me for a long time, and I’ve always been able to take care of myself”. 

Your eyes flitted back to Frankie’s, your face heating with embarrassment at your confession. You thought you’d see anger or hurt in his eyes, but he was still smiling down on you, only faint amusement on his face. 

“Well, get used to it because you’re not alone anymore. So, let me take care of you. Because I want to”. 

Your breath came out shaky, only now realizing that those were the exact words that you needed to hear. Emotion bubbled in your chest, constricting your throat and rendering you speechless. 

You simply nodded, while Frankie’s fingers slipped from your chin and he grabbed your hand instead, helping you to your feet and leading you back to your bedroom. Even though you had only been awake for a short while, your mind and body were already exhausted, and by the look on Frankie’s face, he knew it. 

He lifted the covers over your body, leaning over and kissing your temple, humming sweetly as he pulled back. He turned, heading out of your bedroom, when you took hold of his hand, stopping him. 

“Will you stay?”, you asked, meely. The feeling of needing someone so much scared you, but the look of pure giddiness on Frankie’s face overtook that unsure weight on your chest and replaced it with something infinitely lighter. 

He nodded, “‘Course, just wanted to get a wet cloth, might help bring down your fever”. 

Frankie’s hand drifted to your forehead, the back of it laying flatly against your skin, cooling it down significantly already. You let your eyes drift closed, nodding absentmindedly as Frankie’s hand stayed where it was for a little longer. 

“Be right back”, he whispered, leaving your side temporarily. 

You’d fallen back asleep sometime after he left, dazed sleep taking over you. Your eyes only cracked open slightly when you felt your mattress dip and a cold sensation on your forehead. You tried to mumble something, but it came out jumbled. 

Frankie smoothed back your hair, stroking your head rhythmically as he spoke, “Shhh, just rest. I’ll be right here when you wake up”. 

His presence and the feeling of his subtle touch against your clammy skin were enough to lull you back to sleep. There was something inside of you that had always yearned for this, for the closeness outside of sex. The intimacy of a relationship. Frankie wanted to be here, he wanted to take care of you, and he cared for you in a way that your past boyfriends hadn’t, that much was clear. 

Your heart clenched in its cavity when you felt Frankie lower himself onto the bed, behind you, and scooted closer so that his front was flush with your back. His arms wrapped around you, his face nestled into the crook between your neck and shoulder. 

He peppered scratchy kisses along your exposed skin, his trimmed facial hair tickling your exposed skin. 

“You didn’t have to stay”, you mumbled. Only now recognizing that you had been asleep for the whole night, the sunlight cascading in and bathing the whole room with light. 

“Couldn’t help it, I needed to make sure that you were okay”. 

You turned your body around in Frankie’s grip, letting your head fall against his shoulder, your eyes meeting his inky irises. The light bounced on one side of his face, lightening up his features and highlighting the most memorable parts of him. 

Like his slightly crooked nose that you loved to dot with kisses, his smile lines that you couldn’t help but trace with your index finger. Or his loose brown curls that you loved to run your hand through and tug on roughly when he kissed you. 

Your hand met his cheek, stroking it gently. You leaned in, planting a small kiss onto his lips. He smiled against you, deepening it and slowly devouring you. 

You pulled back, “Thank you”. 

Frankie dragged you closer to him by your waist, pulling you into his atmosphere. You felt safe and comfortable lying in his arms, embracing the quiet moment between you two. Maybe it was comfort you were feeling but maybe it was something deeper, something you had been afraid to admit until now. 

You were falling in love with Frankie Morales, you were sure of that now. And you didn’t think you’d be able to stop it, not that you really wanted to. But that was a confession for another time, right now you were falling asleep in his strong hold, content and intent to keep yourself close to him for as long as he’d let you.

[archiveikemen]

『 Dark If 』 Story Event: Epilogue

Jude Jazza

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection. I do not own any of the original content. Please support CYBIRD by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

❥･• Warnings and FAQ

Note: This epilogue is a continuation of the Premium END story.

And so, Sleeping Beauty fell asleep for 100 years due to her curse.

She was awakened by a true love’s kiss from a prince, and they lived happily ever after. —

Kate: … I wasn’t kissed by a prince.

I muttered while recalling a passage from the original story of Sleeping Beauty I read back in England.

Ellis: What’s the matter?

Kate: Ah, it’s nothing, just… did my father or any soldiers try breaking into this castle while I was asleep?

Upon waking up, I was informed that my father had passed away while I was asleep.

His passing weighed on my heart for some time, because I felt that I was unfilial for not being there during his final days.

However, I was able to better cope with my feelings after paying a visit to his grave

Besides… I had to be considerate of Jude, who cursed me and took me away from my father, and was still hated and greatly feared 100 years later by the entire country.

(I don’t want to make him regret saving me.)

That was why I never asked for any details on the matter, but it suddenly started troubling me again lately.

Ellis: Ahh… come to think of it, I think I remember something like that happening.

Ellis: I drove them all away under Jude’s instructions.

Kate: What…?

Ellis: I did try my best to have them leave as unharmed as possible.

Ellis: But it seems that the ones who came while I was away were flayed by Jude and thrown out.

Ellis: Some of them were even left hanging outside for a while.

It was possible that all the princes who attempted to get to me were defeated by the fairy of the thorn castle and his assistant, the thorn.

(In order for this world to have a happy ending…)

(Perhaps someone from this world has to kiss me to wake me up from my sleep.)

“There is something missing in this world” — those words had been bothering me for a while.

(But…)

(If I have to kiss someone other than Jude… I'd rather this world remain twisted.)

Kate: … Thank you for protecting me.

Ellis: Nah, don’t mention it.

Jude: You haven’t paid for that service yet.

Kate: ! Welcome back, Jude.

My heart instantly started racing the moment I heard that voice.

I sprang up from the couch and ran to Jude.

Jude: You don't have to come sprinting towards me every single time. What are you, a dog?

Jude muttered dismissively and sat down on the couch.

It had been a few months since I woke up from my sleep, and I was still very much in love with him.

Kate: … I can’t help it when I miss you so much.

Jude: Yeah, yeah, how nice.

The way Jude treated me was as though I were a little girl.

(... I want him to see me as a grown woman.)

(Could it be that he thinks the difference between our mental ages is too big, because I was asleep for 100 years…?)

I still wore the collar he gave me back when we first met.

He told me that I could take it off whenever I wanted, because it wasn’t really something that could blow my head off.

But I found joy in the thought that this collar connected me to him in some way, so I couldn't bring myself to remove it.

…

— On nights when I had difficulty falling asleep, I would sneak into Jude’s study.

(These piles of books… they were all for finding a cure to my illness.)

While I did find Jude’s spiteful nature endearing, I yearned for him to look at me beyond my illness and as a person.

(I wonder if right now, Jude only sees me as nothing more than free labour and someone who’s repaying a debt they owe him.)

(I mean, of course I’m genuinely trying to be helpful towards him as I promised to and I’m more than happy to help, but…)

(I’m asking for too much, aren’t I? This just isn’t nearly enough for me.)

A suffocating feeling of hopelessness overwhelmed me.

(... This room smells like Jude.)

The love overflowing in my heart was making my body throb and heat up.

Kate: Jude…

I touched my lips.

(I don’t need a prince to kiss me. But…)

Kate: … Will you finally notice me… if we kiss?

Jude: I was just thinking it's admirable that you’re holed up in the study night after night to read…

Jude: What kind of dirty thoughts are you having, pervert?

Kate: …!?

I whipped my head around to see Jude leaning against the door with a mocking smile.

(Jude!? W-When did he come into the study…)

Kate: E-Erm, I was uhh…

Jude: What? Feeling frustrated?

His disgusted remark made my face turn bright red.

I bit my lip tightly in frustration, feeling as though I had just been chided for doing something indecent.

Kate: If you say so… then yes, I am.

Kate: But… it doesn’t mean that I want just anyone to think of me that way or touch me.

Jude narrowed his amethyst eyes and stared at me intently.

Jude: … You sound like you're saying that you’re horny for me.

Kate: … That’s exactly what I’m saying.

Even if it would make him dislike having me around or hate my entire being, I wanted to come clean about my feelings for him.

Kate: It bothers me that I’m only being thought of as a labourer working to repay a debt.

Jude: — Just a labourer?

He had remained unfazed until now, but upon hearing those words — Jude’s facial expression stiffened and his eyebrows twitched.

Jude: … You really don’t get it at all.

Kate: What…?

Jude hooked his long finger under my collar.

Kate: … ah…

His fingertip coming into contact with my skin sent a sweet tremble through my body that had been throbbing with need ever since he entered the room.

He pulled on the collar, bringing my face closer to his.

Jude: Do you think I’ll spend 100 years finding a cure to an incurable illness, just to save the life of someone I don’t see as anything more than labourer?

Jude: Are you looking down on me?

Kate: ah… ugh.

I felt a pain in my back as I was pressed against a bookshelf.

He let go of my collar and held my wrists together—

There was a soft touch on my neck, at the spot where the needle pierced me.

(Huh…?)

The moment I realised that it was Jude’s lips, my entire body started pulsating.

Kate: ah… aah…

His teeth grazed on my skin and he bit down on it like he wanted to slowly instil the pain.

(Did Jude just… bite me…?)

I felt my body go numb and it was as if my legs were about to give way.

Jude pushed his leg in between my knees, preventing me from falling.

Jude: … Before you fell asleep, I said this to you.

Jude: I said that, because it's you, I would never let you die.

The gaze from his gleaming amethyst eyes staring down at me became harsh.

Jude: I must've phrased that wrong.

Jude: It’s precisely because it’s YOU, I didn't let you escape me just like that.

Kate: Jude…

I was so happy that I wanted him to touch me, kiss me, and look at me as soon as possible.

Jude looked down at me mockingly.

Jude: Oh, but I’m not going to kiss you or anything more than that.

Kate: … Why not?

Jude: You kept me waiting for 100 years — it’s not fair to me if I so easily give you what you want.

Jude: As much as possible, I’ll make you feel impatient, frustrated, and miserable.

Jude: Knowing how persistent you are, 100 years will be nothing, right?

Kate: — You’re awful…!

Jude: Hah… I could say the same thing about you.

It was miserable and painful, my body wouldn't stop throbbing.

The heat from craving for him like mad was messing with my thoughts.

(I don’t need a prince to kiss me.)

(Nor do I need a happy ending, or to return to my original world.)

Even if this bittersweet pain he gave me was making me feel miserable — to me, that was the best form of happiness.

[foxgirlass]

Alright I promised a game, so here it is:

For every unique note this post gets between now and next Tuesday at 4pm mdt will be an hour that I spend in chastity (starting that Tuesday at 4pm)

I have a few stipulations for this:

A unique note is a like, reply, or reblog from a single blog (you can do all 3, it'll count as 3 hours), but they only count once - so spam replying/reblogging doesn't count for more than 1 (or 2 if you spam both)

As this will be my first time doing something like this, I'm putting a hard limit at 14 days (that's 336 notes), if I liked this enough I'll probably do it again later

Due to personal hangups, I can and will be taking off the cage for various reasons (cleaning myself, cleaning the cage, using the restroom), it'll go back on soon after and I'll add that time it was off to my time

I'm not comfortable posting pictures so you'll just have to trust that I'm following the timer, sorry folks

Additionally, if I find between now and Tuesday that my cage doesn't fit or that being caged just exasperates my dysphoria, I'll preemptively terminate the game (in the case of ill-fitting it may return, in the case of dysphoria it's unlikely)

I'll reblog this with a comment when time is up for adding notes

Have fun ^_^

[saursoob]

can you do a bf!yeonjun apologizing after an argument? please make it super fluffy!

❤︎ |i love you much more| ❤︎

yess ofc anon!! idk if this good enough but pls enjoy 💗

warnings: y/n is a overthinker, yeonjun refers to y/n as “pretty girl”

@saursoob reblogs r okay! please don’t repost

you and your bf yeonjun haven’t been hanging out much as of recently now that he’s been traveling for tour. you’ve been very supportive of his job but its been lonely. when you first started dating it was bearable but the more you got used to him in your life that started to change.

but you can imagine how ecstatic you were when you found out he was he finally coming home. you decided to get ready, putting on some light makeup even though it was late. you and yeonjun had been together for a over a year now but you still wanted to look your nice for him as its been a while since you’ve last seen him. as you were getting ready you received a text from your bf, yeonjun: “y/n im not going over today im super tired. ily” you pouted at his text feeling upset that he wasn’t coming but more confused if anything “he always comes over and “ily?” why didn’t he say the whole word?” ultimately you decide to push your thoughts away and respond back. y/n: “its alright. rest well!”

-

the next morning you text him to hopefully make up for the previous day of him not going to see you. y/n: “junnie come over today! i miss youu”

yeonjun: “i have a busy schedule today but ill try.” your heart sank at his cold laced tone. why is he being so weird? if hes mad at me he should just tell me. you sigh and put down your phone, scrolling on netflix to watch something to make you feel better

more under cut!!

hours later you hear a knock on your door, you secretly hoped it was your boyfriend even though you’re slightly mad at him. “hey” he says while you open the door, it was him. he goes in for a hug, barely even touching you when he does but you didn’t say anything.

“why are you here?” you asked him. silence filled the room as he went to lay down on your couch, taking out his phone and mindlessly scrolling on it. you looked at him in disbelief, aggravated on why he was acting like this. “yeonjun, are you mad at me or something?” you tried to keep your voice composed but failed to, your words coming out shaky.

“why would i be mad at you?” yeonjun says, not fully paying attention to you still looking at his phone.

“i dont know? yesterday you didn’t come over to see me which you never do, didn’t even bother to call but instead texting me and not even saying i love you properly?! and now you are here but you don’t even hug me properly either?? yeonjun, you were gone for so long leaving me here to miss you but you don’t even seem like you’ve missed me! ” you got so angry that unknowingly you started tearing up.

yeonjun immediately focused all his attention to you, standing up to face you. cupping your face with his hands and wiping a tear with his thumb, “darling, please don’t cry. im sorry i didn’t even realize that i didn’t hug you properly.” he says in a soft spoken voice while going in to hug you tightly.

“yesterday i was so jet lagged that i just went home ready to knock out for the night. i know this is no excuse for it but work has been so tough lately, tour’s, dance practice, schedule, interview appearances. its just a lot but please y/n i’ve missed you so much.”

he says while softly lifting your jaw for you to look at him “i’ve missed you more than anything, so please don’t think that i didn’t.”

you answer looking away from him, “yeonjun, could’ve have slept here.”

“i know and im sorry babe i wont do it again i promise.” he says leaving a peak on your nose

“lets make up for it right now, yeah?” yeonjun leads you to your bedroom, laying down first and patting on his chest signaling for you to lay down on him, you do as he signaled, getting comfortable on his chest.

“you know this isn’t gonna make up for it choi yeonjun” to which he chuckles at, “mmm i know, what if i make you breakfast in bed in the morning lovely?” you cant help but light up at his comment “you’re staying the night?! you don’t have any schedules in the morning tomorrow?”

“nope” he smiles looking down at you “you did say i have to make it up to you, right?”

after a while of being in the comfort of his chest and hearing his heartbeat yeonjun suddenly sighs deeply, playing with your hair. “you have no idea how much i love you y/n.” making you smile in a sleepy haze

“ i love you much more, yeonjun.”

!! reblogs are vv appreciated !!

ENDD!! im actually so nervous to post this since im not that confident in my writing but if you enjoyed thank you so much 😣 <33

[kingsmoot]

i'm interested by your interpretation of Ramsay's "[...]there was a woman promised me." line being about Theon you mentioned in the nosafeanchorage post's tags! care to elaborate? i need to see your beautiful mind

i would literally love to elaborate, yes

under the cut for general discussion of sexual violence/westerosi gendered violence

-> reblog of original post by nosafeanchorage

this is long as hell because i like talking about acok theon chapters at great length

"reek"'s intro in bran vi; i'm including this for three reasons:

the pig fucking is referenced again in theon v

the significance of theon insulting/undermining ramsay's sexuality

palla

a point of theon's arc that nosafeanchorage explains really succinctly is this:

theon’s theme is that every ill he ever committed gets punished several times over, he undergoes excessive victimisation along thematic lines for every single thing. thematically it would be fitting that he wasn’t spared that particular punishment. theon raped and enabled rape, so he was raped, sexually tortured and punished as rapist, all at the same time. possibly.

the first thing theon does when he meets ramsay is sexually humiliate him. no, it's not the worst thing anyone's ever said on-page to emasculate someone. it doesn't even make it onto the list of the Notable Things People Do To Sexually Humiliate Others in westeros. but it's significant that their first interaction is theon sexually belittling ramsay. it sets ramsay up to have a chip on his shoulder about how theon treated him when he was his prisoner, and specifically sets up the possibility of sexual humiliation in retaliation for theon's sexual humiliation of him. definitely not a proportional response but ramsay's a terrifyingly violent man who doesn't have proportionate responses to anything.

it is also significant imo that ramsay tells theon that he hasn't fucked anyone since they arrested him. you could read this neutrally and you wouldn't be wrong. but i read this as ramsay setting his intentions/explaining his frustrations. telling prettyboy in ned stark's chair that he hasn't fucked anyone in too long.

also, it's established here that palla has already been raped and brutalized by theon's men. this is further clarified in theon's next chapter when bran and rickon escape and he tells her father farlen to ready the dogs to go find them because he's [theon] the only thing keeping her safe from further assault.

"reek" swearing allegiance to house greyjoy in bran vi; this is an example you could also easily say i'm reading too much into, but i think it's important

i read ramsay in theon's acok chapters as purposefully sexually threatening. you could say my knowledge of what's to come (theon's torture and sexual assault in adwd) is influencing me here and that ramsay isn't being sexually intimidating but i would disagree. i get the heebie jeebies reading these interactions and it's because they make me think of what it feels like to be covertly sexually threatened by someone bigger and stronger than you

importantly i'll note that i don't think theon reads any of these interactions as sexually threatening, because he's blind to the scale of ramsay's threat and because he is a man who does not see himself as sexually vulnerable so he wouldn't interpret anything ramsay says to him as a threat of sexual violence

but to me, ramsay bartering for status here is him testing the waters for establishing a tit-for-tat dynamic later on. he's trying to get close to theon to put himself into a position of influence with enough trust that he will be able to leave winterfell and bring roose's garrison from the dreadfort. and that kind of trust will only come from theon owing him something, so he starts discussing trades early on. i'll wash if you set me free.

it's a very simple exchange and i think you can write it off neutrally but this is the first of their many exchanges, sets the initial power dynamic between them, and is a bodily exchange. i'll wash, if you'll have me as your man. could i have phrased it differently? sure.

establishment of terms in theon v; this is another this-for-that exchange between ramsay and theon and it's one that's very clearly negotiated

"he had gone too far with reek to turn back now" is a line that i think has clear connotations of sexual violence, specifically to theon. to me it calls to mind when a woman is being physical with a man, doesn't want to go further than a certain point, but it pressured/forced into doing things she isn't comfortable with.

the line as-is in context is of course, very literally about sexual violence. theon is conceding to giving this girl, who two of his men have already raped, to ramsay, who he knows will hurt her even more. theon understands even as he makes this deal that this is wrong, that he shouldn't/doesn't want to be doing this, but he tells us (the audience listening to his narration) that he's trapped. he has no other choice. he can't turn back now.

theon calls back to the pigfucking because he feels powerless in this situation, backed into a corner, and is purposefully referencing a time only a few days ago when he was the one with the upper hand

it's also relevant that one of ramsay's justifications for having palla in exchange for 200 men is that she's "damaged goods" anyway

there is, obviously, no situation where a man being "given" a woman in exchange for his service is telling you he'd like to have a mutually consensual relationship with her. but specifically ramsay is clarifying that palla has already been raped, so it's fair game to rape her again. the damage has "already been done" so what's another assailant?

this is part of what nosafeanchorage mentioned about theon both being a rapist himself (the captain's daugher + kyra, at least) and being complicit in rape (palla)

so this passage is relevant for the pigfucking comment, the transactional exchange, the "he had gone too far to turn back now", and theon's agreement to sell palla into sexual slavery/potential death

which all brings us to:

the end of theon vi; i think in the examples above i've been clear in how i view ramsay's interactions with theon to be allusions to/threats of sexual violence, and that all comes to a head here

ramsay's lips are often described as 'glistening' or 'wet' probably because he's a husky mouthbreather, but the movement right before he calls theon "his sweet prince" of wiping his mouth with the back of his hand is sexually predatory to me. like he's drooling at the thought.

also ramsay calling theon "my sweet prince" here is very purposeful. it's been "m'lord prince" until now, and this is the very first sign that the sexual humiliation is tipping in the other direction. it's a belittling pet name.

ramsay explains that he wants kyra instead of palla, but i think there's more emphasis on kyra being theon's bedwarmer. it's not that she smells better or is prettier, it's that she's theon's, and the scales are tipping now. their positions of power are changing.

also the fact that ramsay backhands him to me is a parallel to common images of domestic violence when men beat their wives. he doesn't punch him, or strike him with the pommel of his sword, or beat him with his shield. he backhands him. that's not. necessarily. a gendered form of violence. but to me it calls to mind a very specific image of domestic abuse.

i actually dislike calling what ramsay does to theon "abuse" because i think "torture" is simply more accurate and descriptive. but this specific interaction has always felt very gendered to me. specifically the image of a woman being struck by her partner for talking back.

i'll also include my friend's response to this when i was going crazy over this same excerpt because i think he distilled the Vibe very successfully

and then here's me

did someone order a [garrison of 200 sworn swords]? i did but i don't have any [sworn swords left of my own]

tysm for asking me to share my thoughts ~

[eyelessfaces]

blood and wine

jake lockley x reader

summary: when jake comes home covered in blood, your only reflex is to run away. he explains the whole situation around some wine. (this summary sucks ill redo it later babes. i promise the fic is good trust me on this one)

warnings: mentions of blood and murder. description of one murder. one really small sexual innuendo. angst :)

tags: f!reader, marc and steven make appearances, jake is being a mysterious little shit. takes place after the events of the series

word count: 2k

reblogs and feedback are appreciated!!

When you started dating Jake, you knew it wouldn't be as easy as dating Steven or Marc. You knew Jake was a secret guy, you knew he had some shenanigans going on, things he didn't talk about and things he didn't want to talk about. You knew there was a shadowy side to him. He would shake it off every time you tried to make your way into this kind of conversations, and you never tried to dig more, scared he would think you were being too sneaky. And you didn't want to throw out what you had so recently built together as you and Jake was a relatively fresh thing, compared to Steven and Marc.

When he wasn't home for a good part of the night, you thought he was certainly playing poker or making bets, some things like that, involving money and games. Nothing too serious. Of course it bothered you that he wouldn't tell you about it, but if it was just that, it was okay. As long as it didn't become too intense.

The thought that he might be cheating on you crossed your mind a few times. It made sense; the long absences, him coming home so late - despite telling you of his night cab shifts; he worked way too much for it to be true sometimes - and the fact that he wouldn't tell you what he's doing and where he's doing it. But when he held you so gently, kissed you so roughly and made love to you so passionately, you just wondered what he would do with someone else. And why he would play on several tables when he seemed to love you so much when he was home.

So what was your surprise when one night at two in the morning, when you were unable to sleep because of your aching period that made it seem like your ovaries were falling apart, Jake walked into the flat covered in blood - the irony. You wished you had seen your own face from an outside perspective.

You first thought it was just a dream. You thought you had fallen asleep watching Carrie - the irony, once again - and it was just a funny dream that would make you feel silly once you woke up. But you understood way too fast that it was nothing but reality when you saw Jake's face decompose at the sight of you still awake and here in front of him. You were petrified, unable to move or to talk. So many thoughts and questions were buzzing across your current fragile mind.

When your body finally allowed you to move, you immediately packed as fast as you could, ran out of the flat and escaped the building. You were in a state of shock, and it seemed like the best thing to do at the moment. You probably looked like a drunk, running like a maniac in the streets of London, but you were truly disoriented and confused. Your first reflex was to run your best friend's, who used to be your roommate, and thankfully you still had the key. You were embarrassed she had to find you sleeping on the couch the next morning but hey, it was a state of emergency. Even though you had to lie to her, telling her you just had an argument with your boyfriend and didn't know where to stay after that, she understood that perfectly. You doubted she would have had the same reaction if you had told her what really happened. And you wondered who could have a serene reaction to that.

Seeing the boys after that incident hadn't been the easiest thing for you.

Steven had handled the situation perfectly; he had figured out where you were and brought you flowers and cookies. At first, seeing his face had almost made you have the start of a panic attack. But when you saw his gentle features and heard his soft voice trying to cheer you up, you remembered you were safe with him.

Marc had begged you to come back to the flat. You just refused, asking him to explain what happened the other day. He couldn't tell you much about it; he had explained you that the barrier between him and Jake was sturdy, he couldn't reach him as easily as he could reach Steven, and the both of them couldn't always remember what happened when Jake fronted. He ended the conversation by taking your hand, gently stroking it and telling you that if someone had to explain the situation, it had to be Jake.

Alas, you didn't feel ready to see Jake so soon after what happened.

After a few days of staying at your friends', you slowly considered coming back to the flat. It was unfair for Steven and Marc to have you giving up on them when they truly hadn't done anything wrong for it to happen, and you'd have to talk to Jake again, one day or another, one way or another.

And just when you considered starting to gather your things to leave your friend's place, you received a text from the boys.

'please meet me at the steakhouse at 8. I'll explain everything. -j'

So you went there.

Your heart flinched when you saw Jake sitting there at the table, wearing his signature expression. You didn't know if he had done it on purpose, but he was dressed the exact same way as when you and Steven had your first date. It comforted you a bit.

You sat down in front of him, and finally dared to look into his eyes. His dark orbs pierced right through your soul, and he sent you an awkward smile, feeling too guilty to put on a full, sincere smile. Like he was unworthy.

He would usually take your hand in his to explain everything but he knew he wasn't welcomed. Not right now.

"Listen-" he started but you immediately cut him off.

"Will you tell me what the fuck happened the other day? I don't give a shit about steaks." you blurted out crossing your arms.

"Hello to you too" he chuckled dryly, quirking his eyebrows before pouring some wine into your glass. His glass contained a small amount of the liquid, of course he had started drinking before you arrived. You weren't surprised. You quietly thanked him, grabbed the glass and finished it in one go. You put it down on the table and he raised his eyebrows before filling it again. "You have every reason to be mad at me cariño" he said giving himself a refill as well. "But I'm gonna need you to listen to me okay?" he asked looking right at you, an eyebrow raised.

You looked at the people around, seeing everyone enjoy their date or their family. You looked back at Jake, an annoyed look on your face. You wondered what he could say to justify himself. You were scared of him right now, but you repressed the feeling with insolence and viciousness. You hoped it could protect you from him. "I'm listening." you said just loud enough for him to hear.

You hated how the man in front of you was the same man that came back drenched in blood the other night. He looked so collected and calm right now. As if it was a normal date. It was almost frightening.

"I know you're probably scared right now. You have every reason to be" he said before taking a sip of his wine. He put the glass down on the table and nibbled on his lower lip before talking again. "I picked a public place so you would feel safer than if it was just me and you alone."

You chuckled under your breath, looking away from him in disbelief when in truth, you appreciated the intention. "Well thank you" you replied with sarcasm filling your voice.

He blinked slowly at your sarcasm, accepting that he earned it. "There's an explanation to all of this." he said slightly nodding. "Puta madre, they're gonna hate me for this" he muttered under his breath, running a hand through his dark combed hair. You frowned at his words, not sure of what he meant. "I took over it. The deal with Khonshu." he continued, looking right into your eyes, his elbows on the table, hands joined.

You frowned at what he just admitted. You thought they were long done with Khonshu.

Jake winced, tilting his head to the side. He whispered a series of cuss words in his native spanish as an incessant buzzing of his two alters shouting at him obstructed his thoughts.

He hit the table to shake it off, getting reactions from the people around. He threw them a dirty, intimidating look and glanced back at you, his tense and grumpy figure relaxing a little.

"Sorry for that. It's just that they-" he shook his hands around his head. "They didn't know."

You nodded lightly, biting your lip in confusion.

"Didn't Khonshu- didn't he say he would leave you alone?" you asked cocking your head to the side.

"Them. Both of them." he said nodding, slightly clearing his throat before drinking.

"Wow" you said huffing out a laugh, astonished that the bird found a way to manipulate them again.

"I think I'm handling it better than they did." he said putting his glass on the table. "I mean, I don't feel trapped." he corrected with a nod, realizing how condescending it sounded.

"So it doesn't bother you?" you asked frowning, a shiver running through your spine.

"That's not what I said" he said under his breath, avoiding your gaze. "I do what Marc and Steven used to do. I just do it more easily."

"So you enjoy it." you affirmed, your voice dropping.

He looked down at the table, and looked around him.

"I don't wanna lie to you princesa. When they truly deserve it, yes." he confirmed looking at you. "Listen. What you saw the other day, it was unusual." he leaned in over the table, getting closer to you. "The mission had turned out pretty bad and the guy was wrestling. It was so messy, Khonshu ordered me to stab him in the jugular. It seemed like a good idea until his blood spilled everywhere. I usually do it properly. The other night was an exception and you happened to be here. It was just an incident. I'm sorry that you had to see that." he whispered putting his hand over yours. "I'm so sorry mi corazón."

You closed your eyes, leaning into his touch. You slowly nodded.

"If you kill people carelessly I don't even want to know what you could do to me if we ever argue that bad." you whispered, looking deep into his dark brown eyes. They were filled with guilt, and he closed them before pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I would never touch you like that, querida. Nunca." he said shaking his head, shaking off the thought.

You wanted to blame him, you wanted to be mad at him. But he looked so sincere, and so guilty.

You nodded slowly, bitting your lower lip. His hand was still over yours, and you covered it with your other hand, gently brushing his with your thumb. He looked back at you, brought back by the feeling of your touch. He licked his lips in reflexion before talking again.

"You know, Marc and Steven warned me before we started dating. I swore I would never hurt you. I'm sorry I did" he said weakly smiling at you.

"Jake I- That's okay. It was just an incident. If I could accept Marc and Steven serving Khonshu I can accept you too." you said nodding, finally letting down your guard.

And he smiled at you. The pure, honest and sincere smile he wanted you to see since you entered that restaurant.

"Bueno. Good. That's good. Let's leave this place. Wine's not even that good" he said grimacing, making you laugh.

"We have some at the flat, right?" you asked as you got up, pushing your chair.

"We do" he said as he smiled, taking your hand in his, holding it tightly.

It was just an incident.

---

reblogs and feedback are appreciated!!

[viridiesa]

🏖️ ▬ 𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐊𝐘𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐄𝐑

holiday scenario with Anakin Skywalker for my emoji prompt event! you can find the event guidelines here, and my complete masterlist here! // no warnings !!!

A holiday with the up-and-coming Jedi Knight is a lowkey affair and more a secret getaway than anything else. With Anakin telling Obi-Wan a half-cooked lie about running an errand for Yoda and you feigning ill, you secure yourselves a couple of days away from everyone else without question. You could easily stay tucked inside your house for a ‘staycation’, but instead Anakin sends you some coordinates to a less popular planet that he visited recently for Jedi business. 

Landing your ship at the edge of a field beside his, you’re quick to notice the crude wooden arrows that point into the lush forest. Following the trail, you pick up the native flowers he’d left along it for you. When you emerge into a clearing you have a bouquet in hand. In the centre of the space is a hut, smoke seeping from its chimney. The door opened and there was your Anakin with a vase ready for your flowers. “Hi,” he whispered once you were before him, although there’s no need. 

“Hello,” you whisper back, taking his hand.

Spending time together, existing in your own world was the break you’d needed. While you couldn’t deny there was a thrilling element to sneaking kisses in dark alleys or longing eye contact across a crowded room, you yearned for more ease in your relationship. Here there was peace, sanctuary within each other without fear of being discovered. He was softer away from it all too, his shoulders dropped and he seemed to breathe easier. You were much the same. The nicest part was being able to hold him. You could have his hand in yours and not drop it a second later at the sound of footsteps. Cooking together, walking together, reading together, sleeping together. It was everything you’d ever wanted. Here he was all yours and you his. And while the threat of your imminent return hung in the air, he shushed your sadness with the promise of ‘we’ll do this again soon’. The first night you’d had to convince him to return at all. He’d seemed so ready to abandon The Order and spend every waking moment with you but you couldn’t watch him give up his ambition. Besides, you had hope that one day he would be yours for all to see. 

When you did return to your lives and back to your forbidden romance, the knowledge of what could be made you value every second you had with him that much more.

if you want to see more check out my event! thanks for reading and any and all reblogs and comments + feedback are appreciated x

[philsmeatylegss]

Honestly I can’t keep quiet at this point. This generation and tiktok mostly made autism a fucking quirky trend and it makes me want to slam my head in a wall. I genuinely believe 70% of people online who claim to be autistic are not or either are confusing it with another disorder (on tiktok it’s 95% I’m not remotely exaggerating). iT’s A sPeCtRuM NO SHIT DUMBASS. I fucking grew up with an autistic sibling and I was constantly in other places with autistic kids who were higher and lower on the fucking spectrum. But none of them act remotely like the fuckers on #actuallyautistic on fucking TikTok. Controversial opinion I completely stand behind is that self diagnosis isn’t reliable expect for a few conditions. By that, I mean conditions that have clear cut symptoms. You’re always anxious about everything, you probably do have anxiety. But when it comes to Autism, that’s such a fucking complex disorder that even a lot of doctors don’t fully understand. 100% agree that many women, POC, and those who grew up poor couldn’t get a diagnosis and got it later in life. As I said, I was constantly around autistic kids and most were white men. It’s an absolute mockery and disgrace to those online and in real life who actually suffer with Autism. Including people on the high end of the spectrum! Most of these people say they’re autistic and then list the symptoms of anxiety. It’s not a fucking quirky trait or an excuse. It’s not fucking trendy.

And I can’t say anything like this on platforms like tiktok or id be ripped to shreds. People who have little to no real life experiences or knowledge about Autism attacking someone who was always so close to autism that it fucked me up (I know it’s not my sibling’s fault before you yell at me). I’m fucking tired of it. I’m so fucking tired

Very recently the term “glass child” came out which describes siblings of a child with a physical and or mental disability and or a chronic/life threatening illness. The term comes from the fact that a constant feature of being a glass child is being seen through, forgotten, our voices ignored. And when we, people who have had close years of interactions with these disorders try to explain to you why you might be wrong and you just fucking shut them down, you’re just as bad as the people who ignored me when I was growing up.

It happens on here to. Definitely not as often and definitely not as obvious. But I fucking hate that it’s become a fucking trend on here. Yes, I know it’s a way for those with autism to cope, but a lot of people reblogging it are neurotypical. I’m glad it’s a way to cope, but autism isn’t a fucking funny punchline. It is half of the reason I’m fucked up (once again, I don’t blame my sibling).

Remember in 2020 on mostly tiktok and other face showing platforms being LGBTQ+ was a trend and now people say “I’m glad I’m over that phase?” The same fucking thing is happening now with autism. And what’s worse is that it undermines the credibility of those who are actually suffering with autism. I can promise you in the next few years, there will be tons of posts like “remember when I thought I was autistic? Lol worst period of my life, so cringe.” And then it’ll fall back into obscurity once it stops being a trend and when people forget about pretending to be autistic and no one will give a fuck. It happened with fangirl culture. With being LGBTQ+. Only this is more important and not a fucking trend

Idk if I’ll get hate for this or delete it, but I can’t handle it anymore. This really mostly applies to tiktok, but this happens on every single platform. And it genuinely upsets me and I can’t even point out this problem. For fucking once in my life, LISTEN TO ME. I’ve been there. I was there the whole fucking time. I spent my entire childhood dealing with autism and severe mental illness from my parents. I went to so many doctors with him. I couldn’t chose where I wanted my birthday or celebrations about me because it wouldn’t be good for my sibling. Pictures, lines, family trip were filled with screaming. Leaving events early because my sibling couldn’t handle it. Sitting and waiting for him to stop having a tantrum in my room and having fucking no one ask if I was okay. Having none of my emotional needs met do to Autism and other present mental illnesses from my parents. I KNOW WHAT AUTISM IS LIKE. I SPENT EVERY FUCKING DAY SINCE I WAS BORN TILL I WAS 18 RIGHT NEXT TO AUTISM. I DIDN’T GET A BREAK. I WON’T BE ABLE TO LAUGH IN A FEW YEARS BECAUSE I CLAIMED TO BE AUTISTIC. I’M NOT SURE MY BROTHER WILL BE ABLE TO LIVE ON HIS OWN AND HE’L HAVE TO FUCKING LIVE WITH ME. THAT’S THE FUCKING REALITY. THAT’S WHAT AUTISM IS. IT’S NOT BEING AWKWARD AND SOMETIMES OVERWHELMED BY OBJECTS OR SOUNDS. I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT BECAUSE I WAS THERE. I HAVE 18 FUCKING YEARS OF UNDERSTANDING WHAT AUTISM IS. I’VE BEEN AROUND MANY OTHER AUTISTIC PEOPLE WHEN MY BROTHER NEEDED SERVICES FROM AUTISTIC ONLY PLACES. I COULDN’T FUCKING YAWN FOR YEARS WITHOUT BEING SCREAMED AT. FUCKING YAWNING. AND THEN I WAS ASKED TO STOP YAWNING! THAT IS AUTISM.

My mom works with teens and young adults who are close to the bottom of the spectrum. These children will never be able to have a life. A lot of them don’t talk. Or they only scream or say random words. Some do repetitive actions, often ones that cause injuries. Bigger male student have to be restrained by two or three men because they will not stop hitting themself of breaking property and are unable to stop. That’s what it’s like. At most, Walmart has a program for special needs adults to be baggers. Once they graduate, they live with their parents and then their siblings. Or they go to care home that specializes in autism. We’re fortunate that if it were to come to that case, we would be able to afford a nice one. But most parents or siblings of autistic children don’t have the money to send them to caring facilities. That’s the reality. That’s what you’re claiming to have the same diagnosis as (I KNOW ITS A SPECTRUM). I pity the real autistic people and glass children on platforms on tiktok or really any platform that are having the severity of their illness become a fucking trend.

I’ll probably delete this. But I’m just so fucking upset about it and I’m not fucking allowed to point it out. I wasn’t listened to my entire childhood because of a condition you’re claiming to have. Just for fucking once listen to me

[s0lar-ch3ri]

theory time!

so reasoning as to why i cant reblog the other one is just cause it doesnt allow videos when i reblog now which sucks but whatever so yeah! its a jrwi theory again, and whatever future info i have was 99% gathered from the wiki (the remaining one percent might not even show up in this theory so ye), and of course theres spoilers for the black rose one shot AND riptide pirates (dont have any exsct eps, all i can say is im at ep 101 now so anything before that is kinda fair game)

for the original theory post

k so we gonna put that one clip (scroll message, about a minute long) and talk about it, def mention all the connections gill would have with the black sea, shit like that

apologies for the buggy clip, just needed to add this and when i recorded i was in school aka just recorded like this for less risk, lets talk about the message though.

"a map that is a guide and a key passed around the hands of destiny, it leads to chaos infinity beneath the seas, the garden giant, the nameless prince, the unborn kings, all await to be inevitably free"

i think in my og theory post i talked on how gill was very connected to the black sea imo so how does all this tie in? lets do some quick lil notes first

ok so the scroll of legend lore has been held onto by gillion, the one closest to destiny's ties, and has not been used until now

chaos infinity while refering to the black sea could also be an undersea thing, what with the leviathins (nobody else remember how the pearl shard gillion has came from one? and how the pearl was never supposed to even see the light of day probs let alone be in some cat mans evil base? just me?)

while i wanna say aster mythborne aeiliana shes not real here so she cant be garden giant

BUT we do have a known leviathin(? could just be a dragon turtle) named duke who has plant shit and is controlled by a gollieth

nameless prince is everso chip coded but we looking all across our board here so yeah

it could apply that the "nameless prince" could refer to someone "unnamed" who holds power like that prince from edison kingdom or smth

it could also reference marshal jon, who's canon first name has been forgotten and canon last name is jon

unborn kings? honestly while i dont think chip's bit of mpreg is apart of this i think the lady inspiring it (aka aslana's mom) has some relations to this whole thing

we all read "kings" btw so theres probs multiple yall

would goobleck count? he is goobleck he must apply someway

non-literal one again? maybe their monsters or smth

wait to be free. huh. gee, i wonder, will the door nightmare with arlin come into play here. thatd be so fun. yeah. ahahaha im losing myself

okay okay maybe its not all clear and i honestly have had this as a draft for too long (as shown below)

BUT ill reblog this later cause ill really just be using text and images and shit

whats the basic idea? this is def where the oath from the sword comes into play (murdering destiny), with the whole "the black sea twists you" thing we may get hints of killion or even dark gillion again, the thign about it being a "key" might imply like a 'this means that' type deal rather then being actually a key, the chaos isnt really referring to the black sea but the state of the undersea in general (lost champion becomign criminal, ally shit gone, oversea war, etc), unnamed prince is either someone we havent met yet or someone who we dont expect to have a return (ie: were deemed before as not really lore relevant), and the unborn kings are monsters, oh and the garden giant isnt arlin but something related to the duke! THIS HAS TO CONNECT TO THE LEVIATHINS FR

some details/info about gill/things related to gill so i write this better:

"You promise to slay all evil before thee, crack corruption that takes hold of this world, strike swiftly enough to split the seas, and even if the thread of fate poses an obstacle against us, we shall sever it"

A hero born of moonlight, storm and sea. / They shall rise or fall to bring unity. / They will be tested or bested by evil’s hand. / By their choice one will remain: sea or land.

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

Red Flowers | Damian Wayne

✦ pairing — older!Damian Wayne x gender neutral!Plus Size Reader

✦ word count — 4.7k

✦ summary — Damian feels drawn to the red flowers you bring to the pier where you scattered your mom's ashes.

✦ warnings — angst, mentions of family fights, grief, parental loss, reader has (or had, better said) two moms, allusions to terminal illness, loss is openly talked about, there's explicit description of the texture of human ashes, mentions of violence, dialogue heavy, light fluff.

✦ author's note — as promised, this is Damian's point of view from Tied to the Pier (link in comments/reblogs if you're interested.)

════════════════════════

Damian wasn’t supposed to hear his father’s conversation with Selina. He knew they wouldn’t have spoken about him the way they had if they knew he was on the other side of the door.

It didn’t hurt any less. No matter what he did, his father perceived him as a closed person.

He had hoped his father would understand.

Selina did, she often interceded for him. She had done so since he was a teen, and he was almost sure she would never stop.

His mother wouldn’t have had a problem with him, not entirely. She would have understood why people were better kept at a distance.

He wasn’t reclusive and didn’t even hate people as his father suggested, but bonding with peers was hard.

There weren't many things he had in common with others.

Finding himself at Gotham's harbor, Damian looked up at the sky as it rumbled. He continued walking, following the path toward the pier.

Two people were standing there, not caring about the threat of rain. They were holding hands and by the shake of their shoulders, crying.

He slowed down.

It felt as though he was seeing something he shouldn’t even though those people were in a public space.

Did the pier even count as public anymore? Almost nobody used it, and when they did, they went in and around in a matter of minutes.

Thunder continued rolling, and the tears of the people meters from him with it.

Damian perked up as they started to show signs of leaving. As he did, he realized those people were most likely a mother and a child. The woman led the way and that confirmed it for him.

He moved to the side, freeing the space for you to trail behind who he assumed to be your mother. He observed you were carrying red poppies.

You nodded at him in a thankful gesture and Damian turned around to follow you with his eyes until you disappeared from his line of vision.

With a sigh, he walked closer to the water.

He kicked a red poppy by mistake, making it fall into the water. Damian reached over and took the flower before it would float away from him.

It would have been a pretty sight, but he wasn't sure if poppies decomposed easily in water. He supposed you hadn't dropped flowers onto the water for a reason.

He wondered what had driven you to acknowledge him. Why would somebody put their emotions to the side to thank a stranger for common decency?

Was that what it felt to be perceived as normal? Had that meant to you as much as it did to him?

He doubted it.

For some reason, he found himself back at the pier two days later. No fight had broken out this time, nothing was wrong in particular.

Damian thought about his mother, leaning against the cap rail with his eyes on the rippling water. Talia had taught him to enjoy nature, to see the beauty in art… it was a shame the old, borderline abandoned, pier lacked beauty.

Steps behind him, slow and soft, quite timid, made him frown. Who in their right mind would visit the pier on such a beautiful day? As the steps got closer, he realized who it was.

He craned his neck. The flowers between your forearm and your chest stood out against your black shirt, strikingly so. “Red flowers again,” he mused out loud.

Alfred had once gone on and on about the meaning of the colors of flowers. Red was love and passion, he remembered that much. He supposed it was fitting, you must have loved whoever you were mourning very profoundly.

“My mom liked them.” You looked down at the flowers. “Sedums are supposed to be a cure for broken hearts.”

He had expected to hear you were mourning a grandparent, perhaps a cousin or an aunt. Then again, he knew better than anyone the importance of every member of his family so perhaps he had judged too quickly.

A common mistake of his.

“What brings you here, stranger?”

Damian wished he knew. It was empty, so perhaps that. “The quiet.”

You hummed and he could see in your eyes you were lost in your head. Just how many memories had you made there?

If he tried hard enough, and he was nothing if not persistent, he could picture a chubby child running down the pier, giggling as the birds flew away so the child would make the pier their kingdom.

And perhaps you had.

“It's Damian,” he told you.

“Mmmh?”

“My name.”

Something crossed your eyes and it left as soon as it came. You gave him your name in a polite tone.

It was sadder than you could ever imagine. Why would he be entitled to politeness —or a conversation, really— when you were grieving?

You jumped as your phone started ringing. And adding insult to injury at the way you were ignoring your grief to talk to him, you apologized.

He observed you weren’t willing to answer the call, and he understood. Damian didn’t think it would ever be easy to understand a stranger, yet the urge to not let people hear what the heart forced the voice to carry was familiar.

Putting your phone back in its place, you grasped a flower from the bunch against your chest and offered it to him.

He gently took it between his long fingers, careful not to damage it.

“Have a nice rest of the day,” you told him.

His eyes lingered on you. He could only nod. “You too.”

════════════════════════

Damian didn’t know what it was about the harbor, about that pier in specific, but he kept coming back.

He shouldn’t have gone out knowing it would rain heavily, but he needed to get out of the manor. Fights at home always left Damian exhausted, even more so when they were verbal. Punching his siblings was easier than trying to talk to them, at least lately — and still, they insisted that words would suffice.

Sometimes they didn’t, he learned as much at a young age.

The sight of a now somewhat familiar presence prompted him to hurry his steps.

You sat there, where he had seen you for the first time, with red flowers on your lap, almost curled up into a ball.

"You're going to fall ill." He couldn't not worry.

You didn't look at him as you acknowledge him. "I got the flu shot."

So had he and that same excuse had been the one he gave Alfred just the year prior when the poor old man tried to make him get inside after he fought with his father.

"That doesn't mean you won't get ill."

"I know, but I guess I enjoy lying to myself."

"Did you bring an umbrella?" he asked.

"No."

Damian inhaled deeply, hoping the rain would give him the patience neither nature nor nurture had.

"It was deliberate, don't worry."

That didn't make it any better. And he couldn't say it, he didn't know how.

You looked down, caressing the flowers on your lap.

And it clicked to him. "It's been a month..." he assessed.

"It has." Your voice slightly cracked and you fell silent then.

Comforting people came easy for Dick and Duke, Jason was decent at it, and Tim too. He was sure even Cassandra was better at this than him. Why?

Welcoming the silence you bestowed upon both of you, Damian sat beside you. He couldn't bear the thought of being an accomplice of somebody's illness so he removed his jacket and draped it over your shoulders.

He would have liked to offer it, to perhaps tell you something as he did, but he didn't want to make it awkward. First of all, you needed silence; and second of all, it wouldn't have fit you.

A part of him wanted the silence to end, to hear you speak.

"Have you ever lost someone?" you broke the silence in a raised voice.

Thankful for the rain that made you speak loudly, he nodded. "Yes."

"Does it hurt still?"

Was he that lucky? Would he ever know what it felt to be a normal person when everybody he had lost, everybody he had watched die, came back to life?

What had he done to deserve it that you hadn't?

So he partially lied because while he still didn't know the pain of permanently losing a person, he vividly remembered the pain in between. The pain of seeing them die, of not being able to save them; the desperation that came with running against a wall in the search of something to get them back. “Yes.”

You hummed and swallowed thickly. He really wished he could comfort you.

"Aren't you worried you'll get sick?"

Gotham was cleaner when it rained, so perhaps getting sick so the city got cleaner was a good trade-off. Damian, however, didn't tell you that. "I got the flu shot."

You snorted just as the rain slowed down, as though the sky was happy you weren't crying. "I walked myself into that one."

Damian smirked and lifted his chin. Your eyes were on him, tracing his face, so he did the same. He wished he could wipe the sadness away from your eyes, but he had never managed to make anybody remotely happy.

He took his eyes off you and lifted his arm, shaking his hand to then check the time.

Cursing under his breath, he double-checked. He would be late for patrol if he didn't get going soon. "I have to go."

"Be safe."

Damian didn’t recognize his voice as he asked, “You aren’t leaving yet?”

“I’m taking the subway later.”

He cocked his head to the side, away from the water and the pier. “I’ll walk you to the station.”

“Okay.”

Surprised that you agreed, Damian motioned for you to start walking. Your steps were short compared to his which made you appear like a slow walker.

He slowed down to your pace. And he found it pleasant — walking beside somebody in silence as now light rain fell on him.

The silence was comfortable, he could have walked in silence beside you around the entire city and not gotten tired of it.

Your surprise as he followed you down the stairs wasn't lost on him. Taking offense by it would have been childish, he decided.

Near the turnstiles, you turned around and gazed at him. "Thank you."

Nobody had ever looked at him like that before. There was no judgment in your eyes, no assumptions about him or his intentions, only gratefulness behind puffy pretty eyes.

"You too." What? He blinked. "I mean, you're welcome."

The muscles in your face twitched and he held his breath, for a second thinking you would gift him a smile.

But he would have to wait for that one.

════════════════════════

Washington was boring. Justice League matters were even more boring. At least today they were.

Damian knew he would join sooner or later, it was part of his father's legacy, an important part of Batman. And for the time being, he planned on following Bruce's steps.

But he wished they were back at Gotham already, there was no point in more meetings when the threat had been neutralized.

He wondered if you were at the pier already. There was no doubt in his mind that you would be there, and now he was thankful he had never promised he would too.

The people around him weren't bad company, he learned to tolerate them years ago, even got to the point of liking some. He would never say it, there was no need, but he understood why his father put up with them even though they were so different from him.

As acceptable as the company was, they weren't you. Jon wasn't there to distract him this time, so he couldn't help but compare the way he felt there, surrounded by people he had known since he was a teen, and the way he felt at the pier next to you.

If only there was a way to call you.

Asking for your number had crossed his mind a few times, but he didn't know what to make of your attitudes toward him.

He wasn't sure if you knew who he was, if you liked his family, or if you even cared. Perhaps he didn't want to find out either.

Having a barrier between you two was appropriate, he knew so much yet so little about you that the idea of being something more than acquaintances sounded stupid and fitting all at once.

Not that he was against befriending you, no, only against being disappointed once again.

His gut told him you weren't like that, you had never given any indication of being a bad person. But he was hardly a good judge of character if he had to go by his past experiences.

Dick would know what to do, but he wanted to keep you a secret for a little longer, to have something only for him.

Bruce stared at him throughout the flight back to Gotham. Damian was used to being watched by him, to have his father analyze every movement of his — it had been intimidating for a few years, but it was comforting now.

He didn't ask for your number the next time he saw you, there was no time, but he was sure he would do it soon.

The sun shone brightly, a reminder that spring was around the corner. Damian was early, perhaps too early, but impatience didn't let him stay put back at the manor.

He tried to be nonchalant when he saw you, nodding in greeting. But there was no place for nonchalance right now. "Are you wearing sunscreen?"

"I am," you said matter of factly. "And I have a bottle in my purse so if you need some, you just gotta ask."

Huffing a laugh, he asked, "What kind of flowers did you bring today?"

"Gaillardias." You brought them up, showing them to him. "They're supposed to mean happiness, I think."

Did that mean you were in a good mood? The flowers looked lively, livelier than any other flower you had brought. That had to mean something.

He nodded, approving of them. "Did you come last week?"

"A little later than usual, yes. There were a lot of people around at noon."

He was punching aliens at noon that day and it sounded better than a packed harbor.

"Where do you think she is right now?" You scrunched up your nose and explained, "Not religiously or mystically, just... where do you think the water took her to?"

Damian didn't think the water had taken her anywhere. Perhaps the coarser particles had sunk to the bottom.

Unable to say something he didn't think you needed to hear right now, he squinted and answered, "Morocco, perhaps."

"Mmhmm." You closed your eyes.

Your shoulders dropped as he watched you. Damian wanted to know what you were thinking or seeing, if your imagination had taken you to the blue skies of Agadir or to sleep under the stars at Erg Chebbi.

"She'd like it," you said as you opened your eyes. "Essaouira would be perfect for her, now that we mention it. I’ve never visited, but the photos I’ve seen and what I’ve heard... it’s just so mom.”

A port city, of course.

“You knew her well.”

“I like to think I do.”

He looked away from you. "What is it like?" he lowly asked, ashamed that he didn't know anybody that well. "How does knowing something like that about someone feel?"

"Like a superpower." Your answer was a punch in the gut. "Or at least what I think a superpower would feel like. I tend to forget that empowered people are real."

"Hmm." He couldn't take his eyes off you. "You don't like them?"

"I think they're okay. It's nice that some of them do good."

Damian nodded. He hoped you would continue speaking, that he didn't have to give his opinions on superheroes.

"But what I'm talking about..." Your voice carried apprehension. "It's not altruistic," you said. It sounded like a confession. "It would be useless in battle, pointless for somebody like Superman, for example."

He wished he could tell you Superman thrived on his love for people, that it was what made him a hero.

"It would be seen as selfish by some, you know what I mean? People rarely treasure loving somebody. At least when the time is right."

He knew what you meant. He simply didn't think it was selfish, or wanted to think it wasn't — he didn't want to be selfish himself.

“I was lucky to know mom like I do, to love her this much… But even I was like those people who don't treasure loving somebody. I didn't tell my mom how much I loved her; not enough.”

He could have heard you talk forever, to find what you found so interesting about people, to know what it took for you to love somebody.

His eyes fell on the gaillardias again. "Superman would like you."

"They say he likes everybody." You shrugged. "Not a bad thing if you want to save people."

He hoped he would be able to tell you one day how literally he meant it, how much Clark would like you.

"I suppose."

You took the petals of the biggest flower between your fingers. "Damian..."

His heart skipped a beat upon hearing you utter his name. "Yes?"

You had his entire attention and he could tell you were avoiding looking at him.

"Do you pity me?"

"No," he immediately answered.

"You went along with what I said earlier... we both know the water probably didn't take mom anywhere, but you went along with it."

He had never heard pain in your voice. Grief, sure, dormant anger some days, but never pain. He despised it. “I imagined you didn't want to hear there was a possibility the ashes you scattered had sunk in.”

"You know, they don't look like ashes."

Damian shifted, uncomfortable. He knew, but why on Earth had you looked at them? And what was he supposed to say?

"They were coarse, coarser than sand, and—" The pause you made, taking air as you tried not to cry, made his bottom lip tremble. "Some shards of bones remained, I guess they always do, I don't know."

He would have stopped you from inspecting the ashes if he had been there. Your mother should have. "Was it her wish?"

You nodded. "She didn't like cemeteries, she liked this place even though it smells and is unkempt."

"You could be describing the entire city."

"A shame isn't it? She loved Gotham, refused to move many times." You adapted the same look Dick did when he talked about his parents. "She'd say the hassle was worth it, that we wouldn't find any place like it."

"My father says the same."

"Do you believe him?"

Damian briefly recoiled. Was his opinion that important? By the way your eyes were on him, waiting for his answer, he deduced it was.

"I have started to," he said, unable to tell you why.

"The architecture is pretty." You tilted your head, twisting your mouth. "I just wish they would stop trying to modernize it."

"Do you like architecture?"

"I don't know much about it as an art, but I like what I know. Sometimes things are just pretty."

It was refreshing to hear somebody admit they didn't know something. He pursed his lips, nodding.

Your eyes widened. "Is this the awkward part where you tell me you're an architect?"

He shouldn't have found the gesture so endearing, but it was. "I am not. I studied a few things, architecture wasn't one of them."

“Did you enjoy that?”

“I enjoy learning so in a way, I did.”

You smiled. It was small but so earnest that Damian couldn't believe he earned that. “That's good. I studied pedagogy.”

Kids must have loved to hear you talk just as much as he did, then. “It suits you.”

He hadn't meant a compliment in so long that he wasn't sure you would take it as one. He hoped you would.

════════════════════════

"Oi."

Damian stopped just before the front doors. With a sigh, he turned to the side and acknowledged Jason. "What?"

"Where are you going?"

"Out."

Jason stuck his tongue out like a child. "I know that already, dumbass. Out where?"

"Just out for a walk."

"On an expensive shirt and with a fresh haircut."

"I should always look presentable."

Jason let out a loud laugh. "So what's their name?"

"The name of the street?"

"The name of the person you're dressing up for."

Damian rolled his eyes. "Myself. Now, if you excuse me..." He pulled the door open and left.

He checked the time and was relieved that he wouldn't be late. Nothing would go wrong that day, not even Jason's nosiness could ruin it.

So what if he was wearing a new expensive shirt? The majority of the clothes he owned were expensive. And yes, he cut his hair in the morning, was that such a bad thing? He didn't want to go around with messy hair in the summer.

Your steps reached his ear just as he decided to walk toward the railing. Hiding a smile, he moved to the side and lifted his chin in greeting.

You waved. He almost melted.

Leaning his forearms against the railing, he stared down at the water. It could have been cleaner, but its state was progress for Gotham.

You stood next to him and looked down at the water too. "I almost didn't come."

He whirled his head, gazing at you. As good as having your eyes on him felt, he needed an explanation. This was your thing, coming to the pier a few times a month was something you were supposed to always share.

“Mother says it’s stupid to come, that we weren’t supposed to tie ourselves to a place just to honor her...”

Going by the notion that some people preferred to have their ashes scattered so their loved ones didn't have to visit cemeteries or mausoleums, your mother's opinion wasn't unfounded. "She's right about the last part."

You made a face, twisting your mouth as though you had wanted him to side with you. "Maybe."

Damian added, "You also have a right to feel differently from her."

"It feels... unfair. She lost her companion in life."

"And you lost—"

"My mom," you finished his sentence. "And I'm scared. I'm terrified mother will get over it and I just won't. What will I do when she meets somebody else and replaces mom?"

"She wouldn't be replaced, that's not—" He found the strength to stop himself from being condescending. Things didn't work like that. "The only way to replace a person is by having the intention to do so, and from what you've told me about your mother, she wants to heal, not to forget."

He liked it when you talked about your mother, but you didn't do it as often in comparison to your mom. He understood why.

"Am I being childish, then?"

"No."

"I feel a little bit childish now." Your insistence made him frown for a second.

"You said it yourself, you're scared." It hurt that you didn't hold his gaze. "It's okay to be scared," he promised. "It's good that you're scared."

"You're oddly good at comforting people." Your voice was soft as you said it, Damian wished he could hear that tone more often. "For somebody so serious and closed off... never-mind, it makes sense, you have time to observe people."

"I've learned from a few mistakes."

"Of course you have," you breathily said, "you love learning."

"I have to admit I refuse to take some lessons."

"Well, there's nothing wrong with being a little prideful. It gives people character."

You were the only person who had ever found his pride positive. He desperately wanted it to stay that way.

He couldn't stop the amusement he felt from escaping and coating his voice, "Any of my siblings would call me stubborn."

"I don't have siblings, but isn't that their job? Nagging at you?"

"If it is, they are wonderful at it."

Damian caught the amusement in your voice too as, after breathing out a laugh, you asked, "Do you have a favorite?"

"The oldest."

"That was quick."

Perhaps it was, but he had never doubted it. "I— I love them all." Yes, he did. Damian didn't remember ever saying it, but he did, he would die for all of them, break his father's rule if needed just to save them. "It's a different connection... Dick— Richard..." Why was it so hard to talk normally about his family? He ruined his hairdo by running a hand through his hair. "Dick is always easier to talk to."

"For what it's worth, you too are easy to talk to."

Oh, how he wished. It was all you, the compliments should have gone toward you for making him want to be a good conversationist, for driving him to try.

"Likewise." It came out low, almost as a whisper.

Perhaps it was now or never.

You pulled your phone out and looked at the time.

Damian didn't want you to go yet. "Are you short of time today?"

“Not exactly. I have a job interview in the morning and I need to be ready quite early.”

He hummed. Definitely now or never. He opened his mouth to tell you, but it didn't come out and he closed his mouth again.

He swallowed the excess saliva he was producing, bringing a hand up to touch the tip of his nose. Damn it.

He scratched the tip of his nose and just went for it. "Could we... see each other somewhere else?"

"Excuse me?"

It had come out wrong. It was supposed to be easy to tell you yet he struggled to find the right words and a comfortable position. Craning his neck, he gazed at you as he gripped the edge of the railing.

Looking at you grounded him, but the shock on your face made his chest ache. "I don't have a problem with keeping you company here," he clarified.

You blinked rapidly.

He could do this. He could do anything, in fact. "It's just that... if I'm being honest, you're the only reason why I keep coming, you're what ties me to this pier."

The sound you let out made him nervous.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

Letting go of the railing, he twisted his body and fully faced you. As he leaned his elbow on the cap rail, he admitted, "I didn't want to pressure you."

"You're so kind..."

He had never been described as such. He might not have been, but he tried and you saw it. "I'm honestly being selfish right now."

"I do want to see you somewhere else, I—" The nervous laugh that interrupted you was music to his ears. "I have feelings for you, how could I not? But I need time."

He took his eyes off you as he nodded. Time meant many things, time was what his father often asked his partners because Batman was more important, and time was the thing that ran out too quickly for people who had multiple things to do — people like him.

"Not space, just time."

"I can wait." He reached over and placed his hand on top of yours. It was meant to be an assuring gesture, but he wasn't sure if it was for you or him. "Just keep my intentions in mind along the way."

You smiled at him. "Believe me, I will."

"Good." That was all he wanted.

"Here." You offered him the flowers you were carrying. Red as always. "Why don't you take them home with you?"

He tilted his head. Flowers... for him... His eyes flickered between the flowers and your face. Your face had never been this bright. "What are they?"

"Petunias."

A smile broke through his face. Both of you were exactly on the same wavelength. And he thankfully had read that book about the meanings of flowers he borrowed from Alfred and now he knew red petunias meant love.

Slowly withdrawing his hand from yours, he took the flowers. "I'll walk you to the station."

[miraculouslycool]

I posted 1,988 times in 2022

1,202 posts created (60%)

786 posts reblogged (40%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@miraculouslycool

@gentil-minou

@flightfoot

@ladyofthenoodle

I tagged 1,966 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#ml spoilers - 878 posts

#ladynoir - 295 posts

#asks - 292 posts

#ml fandom salt - 172 posts

#adrienette - 114 posts

#kuro neko - 82 posts

#ladrien - 80 posts

#elation - 76 posts

#adrien agreste - 71 posts

#rae speaks - 70 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#you just see how both easy it would be for her to let them be a team again and so hard to do that at the exact same time now in season 4???

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

not feeling well mentally rn and my brain went zooming towards adrien having several trauma responses to illness. 

i don’t mean falling ill himself, but watching other people fall ill or them being injured. he’s had to go through the torture of watching his mother get sicker and sicker until one day when he woke up and she wasn’t there anymore

him flinching every time nathalie coughs or even clears her throat, she’s accustomed to sending him a small smile to let him know she’s alright, but when her legs give way and she’s about to faint again he’s the first to catch her before she falls, he’s always bringing her her food tray whenever he’s at home and not at school or at a million other extracurriculars, he memorises every pill and syup the doctor prescribes and always makes sure they’re at her bedside. nathalie hides the unopened packages of medicines whenever adrien walks into the room because he doesn’t know her illness is because of magical causes, and she wants him to think she’s taking her meds.

he gets a huge scolding and gets grounded for a week for taking a detour from school to nino’s house but adrien can’t bring himself to care. nino had broken his leg while climbing down the stairs, and imagine his shock when adrien came barging into his room and shaking him and checking him all over like he was on his deathbed. adrien didn’t leave until nino promised to text him everyday about his improvement.

he knows what its like to see the people you love fall ill and be terrified about them never getting discharged from the doctor’s care. that’s why he quietly steals glances at rose and juleka whenever he can. he never makes it obvious, because neither of them like the attention, but he can tell whenever they’re having a conversation about rose’s sickness, because juleka always sends adrien a particularly sad look. 

he didn’t think of all the people he loved, plagg would fall sick. one morning he woke up to find plagg howling from a tummy ache and refusing to touch his cheese and adrien went nuts. he couldn’t contact master fu, master su han didn’t know who he was, and the only one with the actual solution to heal his kwami was ladybug, who didn’t know his identity either. his only choice was to let plagg find his way to ladybug by himself, even though he looked terribly ill. adrien locked himself in the bathroom to pretend he was having a shower before fencing class, because he couldn’t stand the thought of leaving the house and plagg coming back to him not being there. not even an hour later, plagg came back with a sheepish yet shameless grin - ladybug had healed his stomach ache and only warned him not to eat too much cheese in one day. 

adrien went into a silent convulsion when he saw marinette’s prescription for constipation on that train. he had to tell himself to calm down. constipation wasn’t a serious matter. people didn’t die from it. but they were in a lot of pain and discomfort and he couldn’t stand the thought of marinette like that. he spent the entire weekend walking around london on foot, arguing and pleading with english pharmacists who didn’t store a french brand of constipation medicine. 

he knows ladybug doesn’t like it when he’s hurt, and he does try his best to not get erased or brainwashed or injured while battling akumas, but he can’t not jump in front of her when she’s in danger. better him than her. one time an akuma threw her headfirst into a building, and she couldn’t open her eyes for a full minute. she awoke to her head on chat’s lap and a knocked out villain. 

746 notes - Posted February 6, 2022

#4

Ladynoir hugs make you feel like you've been hugged

933 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

#3

something of utmost importance:

she's standing on her tippy toes

961 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

#2

Oh wow, it's almost like Felix has been associated with balls since the beginning

2,178 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

notice how when everyone else had fallen adrien was still fighting

this boy is a hero inside and out and like this is not even out of the blue. in origins he was the catalyst for ladybug becoming the hero she is. in heroes day he was the one telling ladybug that they will never lose as long as they're together. in miraculer he kept fighting with broken ribs and saved the bee miraculous while he was at it. and now he keeps on throwing himself at strike back, even when he gets knocked out and thrown on his behind. his love for ladybug never wavered even when he was angry with her. he keeps telling her and everyone else that they can keep on going. adrien agreste is at his most feminine coded when he keeps on being a symbol for hope, despite having the most reasons of any character in this entire show to not have any.

2,473 notes - Posted March 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →