#ill try to keep physical things near me so i can feel this hope. im just staring at them right now like um im building my life around this

[rupertholmes]

this stuff hurts me even more than it did back then. it hurt back then as well, i had more violent thoughts about everyone and that made it worse for me to live here. now it sucks in a different way because i know what love and friendship is supposed to be like. now i know that i am being deprived of actual love every day in this household yet i know what real love is like? its hard to keep hope but i know there is

[berriblossom]

Hey, Kuki! I was just wondering if you could do hurt to comfort Zhongli x Fem!Child Reader fic where it’s in the past and Zhongli just found them in the rice patties? Like, he was going on for a daily stroll and he saw the child and decided to take them in? This would give more context before all of your other child fics (since they’re based in the present). I absolutely loved your Rubber Ducky story, it didn’t fail to bring tears to my eyes. Take your time to work on this RQ, or you can ignore it if it’s too much to ask for :)

Hello! I was planning on doing this, but thank you for getting me started on it now! I love getting asked about Papa Zhongli and his little swan! Im going to keep this one GN to keep it in place with the series and make it a little more inclusive for the sake of continuity! Hope that's ok!

Zhongli x Gn! Child Reader| Hurt to comfort.

✄---------------------------------

Zhongli was helping you with cleaning your room and all your old toys you don't play with anymore. Despite being too big for you, you held onto old dolls, little nic-nacks, old colorful drawings, and jewelry. But now was the time for you to get rid of them or to donate them to other little kids in need, as Zhongli reminded you.

Zhongli was a little sad at how much you have grown since being in his care. What, it's been about 6 years now? Yes, you were almost big enough to start your own schooling and ready to have more friends outside of Yaoyao and Qiqi. Zhongli didn't think after 6 years he'd feel a little nostalgia sick about how old you get, despite knowing your mental and physical again will be slightly delayed due to your adeptal traits but still. Papa can't reminisce a little.

Zhongli remembered how small you were, how scared you were when he'd try and leave rooms without you being right beside him the whole time.

"Papa! No Leave! No, leave me! Papa!" Zhongli felt his heart break each time you wailed to Madam Ping about how he left you forever while he went to go about his duties for the Wangsheng Funeral parlor. But the most heartbreaking thing was how he originally found you in Qingce Village.

A little while back, the 77th director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor asked her dutiful consultant, Zhongli to go to Qingce to see about a client as he had fallen ill and due to her ever-bending will and intent, the old man could be their next client.

Zhongli despite thinking HuTao's directions were a bit too offensive and blunt sometimes went up to the village despite wanting to hear more from here. The bickering wasn't an option for the director because somehow she would win.

Zhongli felt the warm sun beat down on his neck as he walked across the old rope bridges around the mountains of Qingce. The ex-Geo Archon always relished in the simple beauty of the simple but quiet village. As he walked, he could hear young children cry out and play near the waterfalls. Older people cleaned through the rice patties, and the sounds of the wind blew through the terrain. The shades of orange, yellow, and green, made it seem this village was in its own world.

Zhongli heard a small rustle in one of the patties beside him, turning his head to look, he felt a small tuff at his pant leg. Looking down he meets large [eye color] eyes looking back up at him in awe. You held a little small doll in your hands, your little fingers had little scratches and nicks on them, possibly from running around in the patties and getting a little dirty.

But Zhongli noticed other things too, like how your hair seemed a little messy, and your face had dirt and mud on it. But your small eyes looked at him with such wonder, so much pure joy. It was adorable.

"Hello, may I ask who are you?"

"Hi..." was all you spoke, you bowed your head a little, courtesy Zhongli noted. When that was the end of the conversation, he began to walk closer to the village chief in search for the elder man he was supposed to be with. You waddled after him, clutching onto his pant leg. At first, Zhongli felt a little bothered by it, seeing as you could get hurt but his patience outsmarted him and he allowed you to cling to him. He even began to walk slower so that your little legs could keep up.

When he finally found the elder woman who was the supposed Chief of the village, he began explaining about his position at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, however, the village chief stopped him and pointed out how he had made a new little friend.

"I see the little one has found you, such a surprise. They never like when adults try to crowd them, maybe because you're a new face around here. Hehe, how cute." Granny Ruoxin mentioned. Zhongli just smiled and patted your head, slightly trying to get a move on for this little house visit. But you still followed him, all the way up the hill to the old house.

The man's name was Mr. Xeui. Director HuTao noted he had some family relations in the harbor, however, his wife died about 6 years before him and his adult children worry about his time. Saying "We think he is too sickly and frail, maybe his spirit will move onwards soon." But Zhongli thought maybe his children haven't spoken to their father since a few years ago, because he seemed more than fine. He even met them on the porch.

Mr. Xeui made some tea, allowing Zhongli to sit with him, Granny Ruoxin left to go attend to something near one of the mills.

"I see little one has become fond of you. They really keep to themselves, such a shame. Their stories are so sweet and full of life, remind me of my youth." Mr. Xeui said. Zhongli took a glance around a few times to look at whom the old man was speaking about.

"I'm sorry I don't quite follow, who are you speaking about? Is someone else here with you? If so, I can put them down on your will if I need so Mr. Xeui." Zhongli had a pen and paper in hand, he also noticed the extra cup of tea sitting beside him.

"Look under the table, good sir." The old man nodded again and chuckled at how flabbergasted Zhongli was. But the old god looked down and saw those same wide eyes staring back at him holding their little doll.

"They can be quite talkative when you let them tell their stories. Some remind me of the feats of the illuminated Adepti. Hehehe." The old man sipped his tea and coughed into his hand, quickly grabbing a handkerchief to clean up the extra blood. He smiled down at you when you popped your head up and waved. He patted the table and encouraged you to have some tea. You sat down beside Zhongli and began to slowly sip your tea, even holding onto Zhongli's gloved hand too.

"It seems little [Name] likes you too Mr. Zhongli."

You lazily drank your tea, and Mr. Xeui and Zhongli carried out their original conversation.

"I know my daughter and son are worried for my being good, sir. However, I want you to know that I am fine for the time of now. I hate to envision my timely demise right now." He glanced at you and how you kicked your feet at the side of the chair.

"It's such a shame, I can't leave them anything when I am gone. I wish I could, my wife would have agreed. Is there a way?" Zhongli recalled the many practices of adoption and the fostering of children but seeing as how ill and old Mr. Xeui was, he sadly couldn't bring up one scenario. "I'm sorry dear friend, but I can't write something in your ordeal unless they are blood related or in the binding of a contract. It would go against the Ministry of Civil Affairs' wishes. Maybe perhaps your daughter could-"

"My daughter says with my age and that child, my time will be due soon Mr Zhongli. I think she is out of the question." Mr. Xeui sadly smiled. Zhongli nodded but felt a tinge of pain in the older gentleman's voice, how could anyone be like that to a child? He knew it wasn't his place but Zhongli wanted to ask what good health Mr. Xeui's daughter thinks her father is in?

No longer bringing the topic up again, Zhongli listened to Mr. Xeui hum with you an old hymn about the Adetpi on Mount. Hulao. He held your small hand in his as he repeated the hymn's words back to you.

"The strength of a thousand men, so strong and the might Rex Lapis, for he will be the dawn of the brave and catcher of the weak.."

Zhongli smiled and joined in too, the darkness of the conversation air was left alone for another time.

By the end of the visit, Zhongli walked back to Liyue harbor to deliver the news to HuTao.

Zhongli would visit the village more often, coming to check on Mr. Xeui and his health while catching up on certain things about his ordeal. Zhongli would spend time with you too, playing games, drinking tea, reading stories to you, and even teaching you fun facts about Qingce village and the rice patties. He adored how your eyes filled with wonder.

Playing simple games such as hide and seek, tag, and finders keepers was enough to bring a smile to anyone around. You played with the other children while Zhongli spoke with Mr. Xeui. He could tell though, that you preferred him alone to play with.

By the fifth visit, it was raining.

This time, Zhongli didn't bear a simple smile instead he had a serious face.

He spoke with Granny Ruoxin, she knew all too well the look on his face. Zhongli simply gave his condolences and asked for a letter to be sent on behalf of Mr. Xeui and his daughter's family to Liyue Harbor. "The director and I will be back shortly to carry out the services required for his ceremony. Please if you can, keep in touch with his daughter and her family throughout this process." Granny Ruoxin nodded but held a sad look in her eyes.

"And what about [name]? The poor child has no one now."

In Zhongli's heart, it cracked. Then broke in twain. She was correct, you now had no one. He didn't even know if you knew what was going on. If anyone explained to you the situation. His mind worried on your behalf as well.

"Where are they? Where is [name]?" Granny Ruoxin showed him to her home, and you sat on the porch holding onto the book Mr. Xeui gave you and your dolls. Sat beside you was your bag, possibly all the belongings you owned or were given. Zhongli could tell you had a few tears on your face. Maybe it was the rain, but he didn't want to believe so naively.

He stepped closer to you, crouching down to your eye level, Zhongli asked. "[name]? Hello, sweet thing, what happened?" His voice was gentle. No tone of force or malicious.

You didn't speak, you shook your head and sniffled. Your tears made Zhongli's heart sink deeper into his chest. He opened his arms and brought you close as your sniffles turned into soft cries and wails. Granny Ruoxin shook her head and patted your head, soothing you too. She apologized, and so did Zhongli.

"I am so sorry little one, I'm sorry."

The rest was a blur for Zhongli. The ceremony happened within the course of a few weeks, Granny Ruoxin put you in her care for a short period, even asking the Ministry of Civil Affairs if you could be placed with someone. However, she heard no reply. Director HuTao asked about seeing if she could do anything to help, Mr. Xeui's daughter left and took her father's things with her, but she only left the book he lent you. Noting that she thought it was the last thing you wanted to remember him for. Zhongli wanted to push her into the river for that, but he guessed it had a tone of kindness in it.

When Zhongli came to visit for the last time, she told him of all the things happening but yet no sign of finding your blood relatives or parents. Zhonglie glanced outside the window of her small home, to see you sitting near the waterfall kicking your feet in the water. Holding onto your book and your doll.

Zhongli's soul was eating away at him, he knew if you were put into the Ministry of Affairs care for children, the little light in your eyes would dim further. He couldn't tell how many times he had seen the children of that system turn into the worse of the worse because of so. But he knew Granny Ruoxin couldn't take care of you for fear of what happened to Mr Xeui.

The elder woman could see the turmoil in Zhongli's eyes. She sighed and sipped her tea.

"At this point, you could have the little one huh Mr. Zhongli sir? You are quite young, and seeing as you live in the harbor, you could be quite stable no? [Name] knows of you, and they are comfortable with you. Why not?"

"I don't think that would be possible. I have no experience with children or childcare. I think I wouldn't do so well in such a category."

Granny Ruoxin laughed, she shook her head.

"Do you think all parents know what they are doing when they first have children? Of course not, however, experience comes with practice and time. No one is perfect Mr. Zhongli. But for the sake of little [name], I don't think you need to be."

Zhongli glanced again outside the window, you were hopping in the water now. Granny Ruoxin's words hit him in a soft and tender way. Similar to what Mr. Xeui said to him last.

"Children are gifts to this world, it is up to you if such a gift should be appreciated, no one should be ungrateful for these types of gifts either. Don't you agree Mr. Zhongli?"

Looking back, Zhongli couldn't agree more.

He closed the toy chest that sat in your room took the boxes of old toys to the front of the house and placed them on the table. You were on the floor next to Ganyu and Xiao, coloring and talking about birds and dragons again.

Zhongli knew the moment he took you in as his child, it would never be seen as a regret. He knew Mr. Xeui would be smiling down at him on your behalf. Sure it took some time for him to get some things right, like setting rules and playing mean Papa but it was all worth it for you.

And look at your family now, originally with no one but the waters of Qingce, now you have family all over. In the circle of the Adepti, all the way to the ruling Qixing. He couldn't help was chuckle at how you wave to everyone in the harbor now, smiling and saying "Hello!".

How he smiles when your friends greet you and hug you, even when you show Qiqi your books and remind her you all are best friends. Madam Ping when she holds your hand as you dance in the harbor and get groceries.

And of course, he relishes how when you visit Qingce, you hurriedly run to visit your "Second Granny" Granny Ruoxin. She is more than delighted to hug you and ask you how your days are.

Zhongli accepted the greatest gift he could have now that he was no longer the Geo Archon, and that was you.

You truly were the greatest gift, even from when it was just the two of you, to every night you ate dinner with your family. No matter how busy, a family dinner is every night.

Zhongli was happy, you were his family.

And he was yours too, your Papa.

Tags: @kiiyoooo

(Sorry this took forever!)

[deaths-wife]

**Fruits basket (2019) ending spoilers!!**

I iwas. i was nOT prepared for the ending of fruits basket. The speech Tohru's mom gives in the death flashback?? about living and growing old?? the fact Kyo watched her die??? oh my god Akitos arc?? she was so lonely that whole time?? every single character in that goddamn show has. so much. trauma. send them ALL to therapy PLEASE. I kin Isuzu which is. honestly worrying. and specifically in that scene where she finally accepts Tohru's help and just??? sobs on her????? wow. WOW. AND MOMIJI!!! I honestly wasnt prepared for him to grow up so much in s3 like physically and mentally that poor lil bunny :(( there was a serious lack of Uo-chan and Hanajima in s3 tho ngl bc i absolutely adore those two bitches (Uotani reminds me a lot of Beidou from GI i think bc of the hair, voice, and bad bih attitude so my sapphic ass dEFINITELY has a type oops)

anyway im so glad that everyone got their happy endings but. ngl that show has forever changed me and i will forever love it and ill miss that ill never get to watch it for the first time again. everyone in it grew so much, helped eachother, forgave people, it even addresses when Isuzu doesnt want to forgive Akito when most of the other Sohmas do (understandably, Akito damaged her SO much)

anyway have some of my favourite fruits basket quotes:

"Sure, the idea of forgetting does make me sad- but if that's what it takes, I'll grin and bear it... I do have one thing to ask you- if I forget you, please befriend me again?" - Tohru Honda, S1E2

"People like me cling to kind people. We seek them out. We leech them dry. That’s why I won’t involve anyone else in this. It’s better if I go it alone. I’ll keep running alone. Nobody has to understand me. It’s easier if they hate me. It’s better if I’m all alone. That’s what I decided, and I intend to stick with it. I decided I wouldn’t cry." - Isuzu (Rin) Sohma, ?

"I hate this. This is why I didn't want to get near her. She's that type of person. The type of person who makes me feel this. I wanted to burst into tears. I wanted to run to her, let myself lie in her lap- and surrender my heart to her. I wanted to whine and complain about my weakness. I couldn't do that. People like me lean on, yearn for- and take advantage of kind people.. I'm sorry! I'm going to lean on you- I'm so powerless- I'm so weak. I don't know what to do anymore, I don't know!" - Isuzu (Rin) Sohma, S2E19

"It's scary to be by yourself. It's scary to be- on your own." - (to Isuzu) Tohru Honda, S2E19

"Come on carrots, I don't get what you are so embarrassed about. It's not like I'm asking you to pick up panties for her or something. Jeez." - best girl Uotani :3, ?

"When somebody is important to you, there are times where it can be hard, times when where they may feel lonely… but in the end, it's worth it. Happier, sad, together or apart, my weakness will always be.. Tohru." - best girl Hanajima <3, S1E21

"Just as no matter how hard you try to keep it away, despair will attack you again and again. In the same manner, hope will return to you. Again and again." - Kazuma (Senpai/Master) Sohma, ?

"Even if the world doesn’t need us, we live for the people who do." - Kyoko Honda, ?

"I never thought I’d be praised. I never thought that day would come. I’m imperfect, warped, defective…and yet here is someone who’s praising me." - Machi Kuragi, ?

"If I keep trying, then someday… I’ll be strong enough that those memories can’t defeat me. I want to believe that there’s no such thing as a memory that’s okay to forget." - Momiji Sohma, ?

"I knew it. I knew it all along. Just as there’s rejection in this world, there are people who will reach out to you." - Kyo Sohma, ?

"When did I start thinking stupid, sappy things like that? And why? It's almost like… I'm…" - Kyo Sohma, S2E9

"She must have known that if she let go… I would never return. If I slipped through her hands, I'd be gone. And no one would be able to bring me back. She didn't erase all my pain or offer to solve all of my problems. She didn't fix everything that was broken. But that's not what I needed anyway. Not really. What mattered most was that… she stayed." - Kyo Sohma, S2E9

"I wish I could’ve lived my life without making any wrong turns. But that’s impossible. A path like that doesn’t exist. We fail. We trip. We get lost. We make mistakes. And little by little, one step at a time, we push forward. It’s all we can do. On our own two feet." - Yuki Sohma, ?

"I think it’s true what they say…crying, unexpectedly, does make you feel better. Without shame, like a child. When you get older, you forget about that. It’s not easy to have a good cry anymore." - Hatori Sohma, ?

"You've been sad- miserable- and so very lonely." - (to Akito) Tohru Honda, S3E9

"No- I'm scared! I don't want this! I was promised- so much more! This world- where no one needs me, where everyone's a stranger- I don't want it... No! It's too late! Don't you understand that? This world is unrecognisable. There are no promises, or bonds- no hope of eternity. I'm scared. I can't live surrounded by strangers- alone. Without any guarantee that- I'll be loved? I can't." - Akito Sohma, S3E9

"The second I cry, you'll decide you've had enough. If I complain, you'll get mad. You'll stop liking me- and throw me out of your life!" - (to Tohru) Akito Sohma, S3E9

"Akito- please, don't cry. It's alright. Everything's alright, the scary times are over. You made it." - Tohru Honda, S3E9

"I'm begging you please, do what I cant. Protect my baby girl... Sorry, honey. I guess this is goodbye. I have to go- but I pray that you'll be happy. I pray that your years will be full of people who love you. Live the kind of life you can be proud of in the end. Even if you make mistakes, or take the long way around. Live so that- when it's your time to go- people will say; "You fought well." Have lots of happy times, and sad times, and everything in-between. That's how I want you to grow old." - Kyoko Honda, S3E12

ok thats it, promise.

ik like no one will read this post so its mostly for myself but if anyone out there in the void also enjoys fruits basket- pls take this offering xoxo

[corpsehusband-simp]

Weight of the World

WARNING: This is a sensitive Fic that deals with depression, mentions of dark thoughts, punching a wall, and anxiety. It has a fluffy ending. 

A/N: Please put yourself first and don't read this fic if it will put you in any kind of dark place because of what is metions and please know that my DM’s are always open. Feel free to message me all hours of the day or night, I am always here to talk.

 Request: this is a touchy request so i understand if you are uncomfortable with writing it. it’s kinda a comfort/coping prompt but can you write corpse x reader where reader has been going through manic depression and just pushes everyone away and performs self destructive behavior, and corpse has to talk y/n out of su*icide? recently i’ve just.. been really going through it is all i can say. if you don’t wanna write it, totally understandable ❤️

Paring: Corpsex reader, Sykkuno x reader (best friends)

You rolled over in your bed as your phone rang, hiding yourself further into your covers. You woken up yesterday morning and your depression had hit you full force. You couldnt really put a finger on wheat caused your manic depressive episode but it was kicking your ass. It had been a while since you felt like this and you couldnt find the strength at the moment to pull yourself out of it and in doing so you were pushing away the person you loved the most. Corpse. The love of your life but you couldnt even answer his phone calls or texts. Instead you physically turned away from his caller ID, the last time you had talked to him was through a text yesterday telling him that you needed space and that was all.

The more you thought about it the angrier it made you, the angrier you became with yourself. As your mind slipped into darker, angrier thoughts your phone rang again but think time it was your best friend Sykkunos ring tone, Big booty bitches. 

Corpse must have called him. You thoguht before reluctantly picking up the phone, wiping tears from your face. “What Sykkuno”

“Oh uh h-hi y/n. I just wanted to uh call you and check up on you, you didnt come to the Among Us lobby yesterday.” You sighed.

“Im fine Sy.” Your tone was short and rough, you hated acting this way but you didnt want to pull anyone else down intot the slump that you were in.

“O-okay, well im here okay. Love you y/n/n”

“Yeah love you too sy. Never forget that.” and with that you hung up on him, tears running down your face again as your thoughts continued down a dark route.

CORPSE POV

Corpse was going out of his mind trying to figure out what was going on with you. After your text yesterday he had been battling his anxiety on wether or not he should oush the situation, corpse knew you depression could get back sometimes but he also understood sometimes people just needed space. So he turned to the only other person he could trust right now, Sykkuno.

“Hey buddy.”

“Oh hey corpse, whats goin on?” It made corpse smile to hear that at least sykkuno was still his normal cheerie self.

“I need a favor, I think y/n is having another episode butbut she wont answer my calls so I was wondering if you could try and call her for me. See if she answers.”

“Yeah of course man, but why dont you just go over there?” Corpse sighs.

“Im going to but I dont want to push ya know. Its- this is a touchy thing.” Sykkuno hums in agreement before hanging up. Corpse paces back and forth in his livingroom till Sykkuno calls back.

“Hey Corpse”

“Did she answer?” Sykkuno sighs.

“Yeah and she doesnt sound like shes doing very well.Im actually really really worried Corpse.” Before Sykkuno could even finish his sentence Corspe was grabbing his car keys and hoodie.

“Im heading over there now, Ill text you later with and update. Thank you for calling her.”

“Of course, just keep me updated.” Corpse faster than he ever had , it was a mirical he didnt get pulled over.

Please be okay, please be okay. He repeated in his mind over and over as he run up to your apartment door. He entered quietly and quickly, not even bothering to take his shoes off. You entire apartment was dark and eerily quiet but as he neared your bedroom he could hear your quiet cries coming from the bathroom. He knocks on the door and tires to open it but it was locked.

“Go away.” You cried with broke Corpses heart.

“Baby girl, please open the door.”

“NO please just go away!”

Your POV

You felt out of control as you cried so you puched and yelp in pain. Corpse wastes no time kicking in the door.

“Im sorry baby Ill fix that I promise.” He says quickly as he kneels down beside you. You didnt know if it was the suddenness of the door kicking in or him beig here or both but you broken down into even more of a crying mess on your bathroom floor. Corpse pulls you into his chest and you try to fight him off. 

“No leave me alone, go away!” He only held you tighter and closer.

“Y/N I’m not going anywhere. We made a promise to eachother remember? We promised to never leave eachother remember? Me and you together. Im promise to fight next to you. So please just breath and let me help baby please.” Eventually you stopped fighting against him and clung to him like your life depended on it, and in this moment you were positive it did. You didnt know how much time passed between that moment and when Corpse finally stood, holding you bridalstyle as he carried you to the room. You laid both you you down, never letting you leave his hold. As you laid there Corpse left sof kisses around your face and whispered sweet loving things to you.

“You are so strong Y/n” He ran his fingers through your hair and kissed your forehead. “You are beautiful and smart” Corpse kisses your temple. “You are worth every single breath you take, every single atom and molecule in this universe that you take up you are worthy of.” He gently lifts you chin so you were looking up at him with your red, puffy eyes. “A wise girl once told me, that I know it gets hard and feels like the weight of the world is one your shoulders but theres two of us now and you dont have to take the weight on alone.” You sniffle and look up at him.

“Hey I said that.” Your voice was weak and horse from crying.

“Yes baby girl, you did, and I hope you knoe its true. I am right here.”

“I dont want to burden you, I know you have some much on your plate already I dont want to throw my shit on there too.” He shakes his head and lays his forehead on yours. 

“You arent burdening me, the only thing that ever puts more stress on my plate is when you push me away because I cant help you when you do that.” You sniffle reaching up and brush your finger tips across his cheek. 

“Im so sorry I put you through this.” Tears started to well up in your eyes but Corpse qucikly wipes under them and peppers your forehead in kisses.

“Hey hey hey none of that baby. Alls well now. Im here now.”

“Thank you my love. You are my rock.’

“And you are mine”

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[roaringheat]

I hate that my anger makes me so destructive and temperamental. I know part of it isnt my fault its just a really shitty card ive been dealt but god everytime i get angry i swear it feels like theres fire just barely being contained underneath my skin

[rurifangirl]

aight. here somes the ask lore thingie

tw for ppl readin: mention of mental illness, father mention

firstly, how did rui end up meetin the rest of the gang? did they all have sum sort of run in? did they just happen to meet on exident?

also is the father a villain? i remember ya mention him, and was wonderin

and do they have a specific place where they stay? like in a dormstory, a single house, do they live in a single town, or in completly different places?

do any of them suffer from mental/physical illnesses? if they do, how does it affect their life/relationships w others?

Aight, so here we go, be ready cuz shit's long.

(1st part - The Rui n the gang meeting; The Shou meeting) No Tw

Honestly, I also kinda wanted to do this for quite a long time, so I'm gonna firstly talk about how the gang (w/o really mentioning the others name's since they're gonna get introduced soon) met itself and decided to form, and then I'll individually do It in Lyva's and Shou's case, specifically Shou's since i mentioned that his meetin was somethin id have to take care of in another post, so i will rn.

First things first, w the whole gang. Now It wasn't really casually, mainly because Lyva n Rui did meet up, but It was during a special occasion still, that being a really important manifestation in one of the main regions in my oc universe. (They don't have name's yet so pls don't bash me🤡) Them being primarly the Forest, where Rui eventually lives in after all of his past shit, the near-countryside part, where Lyva was living, a pretty much city living on water, where Shou's currently living, and many more, as such the dunes with which I'll introduce Qiran (hopefully tomorrow/today),The sea itself, some High up places and as I said many, many other more. Other than this brief intro, they meet up where Lyva used to live, but mainly because of problems and out of conviniance.

Everyone had something to take back from, so they agreed to help eachother to reach that end, so it's all really planned. Now i won't really go w Lyva, cuz i explained how she met Rui the first time n how they helped her, so I don't need to ramble more on this. Now I'm gonna go w Shou's part though.

This Is more of a note i wanted y'all to know first, cuz i really like how Lyva n Rui met him the first time (cuz the second time was when the gang then all agreed to form n all that jazz.). Basically, Rui n Lyva were out, n visiting new places as such, to prepare themselves further and to try and search for more weapons, cuz they both knew that they'd eventually get in trouble, and even though they still are good, they wouldn't stand much a chance, n since Shou's Place is known for its production they decided to go. N fun fact, there's many funny shit that happends, for example Rui tries to touch a fish, but gets SLAPPED by It. They're still mad >:[. Ajkskdj anyways, some other stuff happends n they just, lose themselves. They had a map ofc but still managed to do so. But Rui was usin It so, I don't really blame em for gettin lost.

Shit happends n they find themselves pratically in front of his shrine/palace. Shou's servitors (cuz he saw everything happend from afar n gave them the okay) brought em in, but rather than makin em idk some tea n just making them recouver, Shou rather put them under some "tests" w/o tellin em, to see if they were any use.

For example he brought them some cups of tea, but before drinking them Rui noticed somethin unusual in the water, so they gave Lyva a sign to not drink It, n as Shou asked as a reason why they just replied that they weren't thirsthy, leavin Shou in a kind of defeated state. Bitch if i love this part honestly, there's so much fun to seein all of their reactions, but I'm gonna go brief rn. So other of this tests pass later n Shou eventually gets upset cuz they're all winnin n seemingly makin fun of him, lettin him in a weaket standpoint, n a fight happends. Even though it's a 2v1 situation he can still manage pretty well, so It ends in a draw. They get to talk after this and get to understand that they don't have to necesseraly be on the opposite side, though Shou Is still unsure whether to belive in that or not.

After they leave him, pratically almost alone w only a bunch of servitors helpin him. He admits defeat n won't show up until the event and yadayada. (Also it's during this weak time of his he'll meet Qiran which i already have plans w so it's all goin to be said bout their relationship in their post.)

(2nd part, the father mention.) Tw:father mention

So it's true that w Shou i did mention his father, but I'm not entirely sure bout his involvment honestly. In theory he kind of is a villain itself, even because of his devilish nature, so it's true, but im not sure whether to make him an independent villain or part of a group of them. But rather than that yes, i do want to make him some sort of villain in the end, because that's also part of Shou's agreement to be part of the group. I will make concept art for him so he'll definetly be involved. Not gonna lie, mabye that bastards also involved w Rui's cult too in a way or another but im givin in too many details holy shit I'll never get outta this fuck

(3rd part- where do they live) No Tw

They live in their own homes honestly, but It would be no surprise if they'd all decide to sleep over someone in specifical, though they have their own place. I made some concepts for Rui's intern home, which here It Is 😤 (forgive me for the bad quality but it's 2 am rn 🤡) I made this a while ago but only did Rui's, so I'll do Lyva's, Shou's n the other one's too. They live in different places, for the exception of, atm, Qiran, since I'm gonna say that they're more of a traveller n don't have a stable home.

(4th part- the mental/physical ilnesses) Tw: Self harm and Mental ilness mention

Well, this Is gonna be a ride. They all suffer from Ptsd, which Rui n Shou suffering from It the most. It still affects them all, though in different occasions, so Imma just do them in specifical. (Also because i gotta add some shit to shou that i didn't wanna add because i thought It was too much honestly)

Rui-

It affects them really much. They use crystals n gems to avoid anything going w their past or anything remotely related It, as whenever they feel awful about havin those flashbacks when they still were a child. They never want to talk about what happened, n during their moments It gets really, really bad. Both emotionally and physically, as their body sometimes cannot handle anything so it completely shuts down. They never really got any help for It as Rui's too scared to share bout their experience, both because of trauma itself that doesn't make them say anything even if they wanted to and because of the cults influence, so either way they've got to handle It by their own.

Lyva-

Other than havin to deal w mornin sickness, which Is the least for her, she has to deal w her neglectful childood and how desperate she's always been for litteraly anythin, whether it's related about love,friendship, food, toys, anything. She tried to seek for help and semi found It, but as of now she can't keep up w It and has better things to take care of. It's still really bad overall, but she's hoping for things to get better. Spoiler It really won't.

Shou-

⭕Tw for sh⭕

It's... really fucking bad. I'm gonna get outta this w saying something i didn't want to add because it's really triggerin, but im gonna do It now. So basically, I've mentioned them acting feminenly for his own mother, but i didn't say what would've happened if he displeased her. She would just stare down at him and whispering some awful shit or names. This would happen especially whenever he'd slip off that mask of his or revealed even a tiny bit of his devilish essence. Note that he's still a child here. So, best thing he could to was to "punish" himself, which basically consists of him scratching his arms too much and, i don't really want to continue this, forgive me but it's kind of triggering even for me. But...you can guess what he's doing, since he even to this day still keeps sharp nails. I'm sorry for putting this, but it's another way to show how his mother fucked him up and now suffering from this.

I'm sorry for rushin the last part but i'm not personally vibing w it.

Tags undercut

@a-chaotic-dumbass @spoopy-fish-writes @dopesaladlady @damnfoxx (I'm really unsure bout taggin ya in this ;-;)

If you want your tag removed, dm me cuz it's 3 am at the moment n i may have messed em up. (I'm not gonna recheck tomorrow so that's why)

[pigeonxp]

YGCMA songs and how they relate to c!Wilbur based off of yesterday’s lore (in my biased opinion)

This is so dumb and i literally don’t care. I can’t think about anything else other than doing this synopsis even tho like 28480329204 other people are going to do it. idc. 

(I listened to the songs earlier, and i’m also listening to them as i write the opinions. these are basically just my thoughts while listening tbh. im also not doing the full song, just some things i feel relate within each song)

- Jubilee Line

the lines at the beginning of the song, “hate to see you leaving / a fate worse than dying” could relate to how wilbur feels after tommy gets pulled back into the overworld. or, he could be referencing L’Manburg and how he hates to see his country leaving him (ouch). 

then we have the lines “your city gave me asthma / so thats why im fucking leaving / and your water gave me cancer / and the pavements hurt my feelings”. This could be in relation to L’Manburg as a whole. He put everything he had into L’Manburg and it only ended up hurting him in the end. yikes. 

now we have “shout at the wall / ‘cause the walls dont fucking love you” repeated. This could be in reference to when he said he was fucking kicking and screaming to get out of the train station. hes screaming and he doesnt care because it doesnt matter to him. it doesnt love him just like how the people of L’Manburg didnt love him. wilbur get therapy challenge.

so based on the lore from yesterday, we know that c!wilbur’s limbo was a train station (props to fanartists. i love you.), presumably the YCGMA album cover type deal. when he sings “Theres a reason / that London puts barriers on the tube line / theres a reason / that London puts barriers on the rails” repeated. if the train station looks like how they do on the album cover, there could be barriers where he is. maybe hes trying his best to just kill himself over again by jumping onto the tracks. just in an attempt to escape. jfc 

“theres a reason they fail”. he was still in the train station, wasnt he?

- Saline Solution

for this one, i feel like hes pretty far into the void and regretting his decision to have phil kill him. hes tired of being in a fucking train station for years on end. 

“i think this time im dying / im not melodramatic / im just pragmatic beyond any / reasoning for thinking ive got / fuckin rabies or something.” hes so fucking sick of being in this goddamn train station and he thinks hes dying. hes so pent up and sick of being there, maybe hes just in so much pain that he feels like hes dying. if hes been there for a while, hes probably bound to go crazy at some point, hence the “pragmatic beyond any reasoning.”

“I think ive lost my mind / blurring the fact and the fictions” this feels like he really does believe hes going crazy and is mixing up the things he really knows and the things his mind is creating for him. maybe this is when tommy first arrived and he cant tell if he real or not (thats a stretch but i figured id share it anyway.)

“I think ive made my choice / im a deceased playing victim / slip the face, slip the victory” he quite literally says that hes a deceased playing victim. hes literally saying hes dead HAHHAHAH anyway. maybe hes blaming himself again, because us c!wilbur apologists all know that hes very good at doing that.

“Sit secluded in hatred /.../” hes sitting in a fucking train station for god knows how long beating himself up over and over again and just hating himself. hes all alone. with himself. someone he fucking loathes.

this is honestly all i have for Saline Solution, but i will definitely add more later if i get different theories. 

- Since I Saw Vienna

This is my favorite song on the album and my comfort song so that could factor into this bit ahaha

im going to skip through this one a little bit and go to the line “The roads are my home, horizons my target / if i keep on moving, never lose sight of it / treating my memory of you like a fire, let it / burn out, don’t fight it, try to move on” this sounds like hes reminiscing on his home in L’Manburg and his presidency was something he relied on and he would fight to get it back, but now that hes dead and said that it should remain that way that he should just let it go. trying to move on from his symphony, forever unfinished. 

 “its been sixty weeks since i saw vienna / a bandage and a wide smile slapped across my face / ill pick up my hiking boots when i am ready / and ill put down my roots when im dead.” THESE LINES FUCK ME UP IN GENERAL BUT HOW THEY RELATE TO C!WILBUR RN IS JUST SUIBHYSBUSHDXNSKJDNHBD YK???? in the context that vienna is L’Manburg and he died, its saying that its been a long ass time since hes seen it and hes faking being okay about his death. he misses it but doesnt want to admit it. the picking up the hiking boots when hes ready is him moving on from his L’Manburg, and putting his roots down when hes dead is finally being okay with not living there/being an important part of it. he believed his death was the best for the people in L’Manburg and L’Manburg itself. it seems like hes still trying to convince himself. 

“Ill be gone then, for when you must be alone.” hes gone. hes dead. hes in the train station. he left the L’Manburgians alone and hes alone in his limbo. man. 

- Losing Face

this song is angry. hes so fucking angry. my thoughts are that this is about the following presidents after him. he feels like the L’Manburgians were happier without him and im pretty sure he believed that even when Schlatt was president. this is so evident in the lyric “Is he better than me?” Hes literally asking if the other presidents were better than he was. he doesnt believe he did everything he could to be the best president, even though we all know that he gave everything that he was into that country and then some. he broke himself for the L’Manburg but he doesnt believe hes enough. sheesh.

“Ive seen him / ive been him / ive felt the same way” even though he cant see the new presidents being president, he knows what its like. he knows that they might break under the pressure. hes been there. he knows how if feels. yikes. 

“Ive lost all meaning / ive lost my sense of hope” this feels like when he was nearing the end of L’Manburg when he blew it up, and that he feels like trying to win it back is pointless. he has no hope for it anymore, so why not give up? his mental state is already shit yk so i cant really blame him for feeling that way. 

“i dont care / i want you here / as long as youre happy, i dont care” this line. this fucking line. hes lost hope in being president, but he doesnt care. he just wants the L’Manburgians to be happy. that was his whole thought process while he was president. he didnt matter to himself, he just wanted them to be happy. he sacrificed his mental state for them. cries in wilbur apologist.

- Your Sister Was Right

this is my second favorite song on the album i think HAHAHAH

anyway

“I use everyone i ever meet / i cant find the perfect match / abuse those i love / while i ostracize the ones who love me / back.” wowie wow wow fucking ouchie. He feels like he uses his friends. this whole thing is a projection of his shit ass mental state rn fucking hell. he feels like hes abusive. thats what everyones been telling him. they tell him he was awful and a shit president and all that jazz even though hes been killing himself trying to be the best for them but its still not enough (pigeon projecting? more likely than you think)

“every time that i miss you / i feel the way you hurt / and i dont deserve you / you deserve the world / though it feels like we were built / from the same dirt.” man. hes dead lol. he misses the L’Manburgians. not only were they his supporters, but they were all his friends too. every time he misses his friends he feels their pain of when he first blew up L’Manburg. he feels like because he caused them all pain that they dont like him and that they never liked him and that he is undeserving of their friendship. he still wants to be friends with them. he still loves them. he still wants the best for them. he thinks theyre so much better than him even though they all created L’Manburg together. in reality they are all the same, but their actions impact each other and he feels that his actions make him worse than them or less than. fuckisonmdfnpbhife

“and i hate to say it / but your sister was right / dont trust english boys / with far too much free time” sister is dream mayhaps. fuckngeionsfjg that hurt sorry uhhh anyway yeah sister is dream?? he did say that wilbur would be a shit president and he believes that hes a shit president so he thinks they were all right about him being a shit president  fbhjebinfnejg. maybe sister is just everyone who didnt believe in wilbur. man....

“a fucking waste of time” do i even need to explain this one? he fr doesnt belive hes worth it anymore and that hes literally a waste of time. hjkfbhnfve

- La Jolla

this one feels pretty far into train station limbo to me as well. namely from “and im lonely / there i said it” this could either be him being lonely as president and feeling like he doesnt have anyone to talk to really because hes too busy trying to hold himself together for everyone. either that or hes lonely in the station and didnt want to admit it because this is what he wanted. he wanted to die. he wanted to be dead because he believed thats what everyone else wanted and he just wanted the best for them. 

“i could go away / i could pack my things and be gone before you wake” he could leave if they asked him to. he would do anything for them. 

“you know ive tried hard to love me too / it always seems to fall in, through” this line already physically pained me but now it hurts even more having to relate it to a character i love. we already know that his mental state was declining as his presidency continued, but this would confirm that hes just trying to love himself even though he can never seem to get it right. 

“my own personal sunset” this is just the ‘this is my sunrise’ line but different. my man misses the sun. fuck. 

- I’m Sorry Boris

this song is almost definitely from a long ass time in the limbo. 

“and im sorry / but, boris / im leaving / im not good for anyone here” boris represents L’Manburgians!! hes talking about how hes leaving the world by planning on killing himself. fuck. 

“we reached the end of a decade” mans been dead for a decade. sheesh. 

he then goes on to say that he cant believe hes leaving, he doesnt think he wants to leave them, but he thinks its whats best for them.

he talks about how they do all of these bullshit things before helping you and i know its in reference to london but for the sake of my sanity its about the presidency role and how it will fuck you up before bothering to help you not want to kill yourself.  

should i do a separate post about how i visualized it/about how i thought about the song in paragraph form like a lowkey explanation? idk how to explain it but in this one i wanted to just cover some of the lyrics of the songs and my thoughts on them. i think c!wilbur wrote these in the limbo after he died. i know this is also shit and Not Good, but i really just needed to get my thoughts out before it killed me. i also didnt reread this. its probably repetitive and shit yk. i do Not Care. id also love to hear thoughts on this if yall want to. if you made it this far i love you please hydrate and eat today and youre so sexy ahaha 

“and even though im finished / im not quite done with it” even though hes finishing his symphony by blowing it up, hes now realizing he wished he hadnt blown it up and that he hadnt killed himself. man. 

-

[daily-dose-of-imagines]

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Matchup ♥

16✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

hey hey heyy! might i request a male haikyuu!!, demon slayer, and free!

 matchup? i’m a 5"4’ female with short dark brown hair (goes a little past my ears) and dark brown eyes. i have tan skin and i’m sort of lanky/thin. i tend to be really energetic and loud but can calm down and be mature when the situation calls for it. my mbti is enfj, my hogwarts house is gryffindor and i’m a leo. a few positive traits about me would be that i’m supportive, understanding, and an ‘energy bomb’ (according to my friends). a few negative traits baout me would be that i’m clingy, can be moody and i expect too much. a few hobbies of mine are baking, singing, roller blading, and acting like im high on sugar. i’ve been told that i’m innocent and kinda awkward at times. i’m like a happy pill and usually am good at cheering people up and making them feel comfortable. i think i can get along with anyone and i have tons of motivation. i hate stepping down from challenges and if i make a promise, ill stick through with it no matter what :D. my love language is small actions and physical affection. i love hugs and cuddles but i also like small things like notes/letters. in a significant other, i usually look for comfort, energy, and support or anyone who will put up with my mood swings and understand me no matter what ig. tysm for reading this and i hope you have a great day/night!!<33

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Hello and thank you so much for requesting with us! I am so uber sorry this got out so late, but I do hope you enjoy this!

>Admin 𝕋

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

𝐼 𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽...

I am going to preface this by saying, I have made a pattern for you. I feel these three guys will fit the best and I realized they have a bit in common (mostly the color scheme, but anyway! For Haikyuu I chose Hinata! I feel that Hinatra would be the best fir because he is just as energetic and loud as you are; you two would probably feed off each other’s energy! If you being a little negative and hard on yourself, I feel that Hinata would be the best at getting you to be positive and seeing the best in yourself and the thing around you!

He would love the fact that you are clingy, because he would be just as clingy as you! Like, he would love how you just wanna always be near him, always wanting to touch him and tings of that nature! He thrives off of it, really! he is definitely someone who loves physical affection, so make sure that you are ready for all of his hugs and kisses!

All in all, Hinata would be a great person for you! He is bright and bubbly, and be someone who would love you unconditionally! And once he has you wrapped in his arms, you will get him to let go, ever! I feel that you and him will go far and go forever in love and happiness!

Nagisa is next on the list! He has just as bright and bubbly as hinata is, but just a little bit more mature, so I feel that Nagisa would be the perfect for you in the free! universe! He would love the fact that you are perfect hugging height for him! He loves physical contact, so beware that will hug you constantly!  He will also really love the fact that you bake! Nagisa is definitely the type to always want to eat something sweet, so if you were to give hi something delicious and sweet, just know that you will get his heart right in the palm of your hands!

As for you rother hobbies, he will enthusiastically learn roller blading for you, and if you were to tell him you want him to teach you how to swim, he will feel his chest go tight and a big smile will fall on his face. He will tug you to the nearest get started on teaching you right away! 

One ting you and him have in common is that you both happy pills that want to make sure the people around you are happy and having a good time! He helps comfort people when they are having a tough time and you do the same ting, so I feel that the both of you can rely on each other to make you are both happy! He will comfort you as you will comfort him! It would be so cute! 

He will notice that fact you love love letters, so I can definitely see Nagisa giving you cute little love letters to you everyday and putting them in your purse, so you know just how much he loves you!

All in all, Nagisa would be the perfect match for you! he would be attentive, kind and all around nice to you, make sure that you are comfortable and happy, because that is what matters to him the most, is that you are happy! You both would so cute together!!!

Okay so, Zenitsu is a little different than the other. He isn’t as happy nor positive, in fact he is quite negative and very self conscious about himself. But that is where you come in! I feel that Zenitsu would really feel happy with someone who can combat his negativity, someone who is always energetic and straightforward. Someone who is ready to fight the world everyday! It would really benefit him, and with how pretty you are, mixed in with the fact that you want to make everyone happy! Man, Zenitsu would not be able to keep his eyes off of you! He will fall instantly in love!

He will also love the fact that you cook and bake and have all these liitle hobbies that make you happy! He will want to watch you to do the things you love because he loves seeing you so excited and happy! Another thing is that if you were to try to be affectionate with him, with physical contact and such, you will have to prepare for him fainting or squealing a lot, because he isn’t used to being so close to someone he loves a lot. He also is just very shy in the fact that if you were to kiss him, he will literally melt right there. Who knows if he will ever wake up from la la land. He will love that you are clinging, so there will definitely be no issues there!

All in all, I fee that Zenitsu will be perfect for you, and especially for him! You will make him feel comfortable and stable and happy! Something he needs so very desperately! He will love watching you do the things you love and the things that make you happy! And at all costs, he will protect from all the things that make you sad and feel bad about yourself. Just as you make him happy, he will do everything in his power to make sure that you are just as happy as he is!

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[taeyamayang]

hi angel ! im joining your 200 follower event. my name is pearl, and i'd like to be paired with a dude lmao. its hard to give a condensed description of my personality and still stay true to my nature, so this'll be a little inaccurate descriptiom of me. its way easie to just be my friend instead ;) but anyways, onto the matchup. i'm a short, studious little bitch who is also interested in philosophy, maths, science, history and fashion. existential crisis and debating is common (i'm a writer and a philosophy enthusiast. literally what do you expect, thats like the criteria for being insane), so my types are usually smart and witty people who can keep up with my speed of thoughts, keep me interested and preferably out of madness. indian in ethnicity, which means desi parents who'd not let me date. i love sewing, and i sew for others a lot too. i also like to write (my writing is pretty sentimental and dramatic, maybe humorous is an old fashioned way). funny at times. sleepy. i'd sleep through the apocalypse if it would happen, i'd sleep through the asteroids that destroyed dinosaurs. literally. very physically clingy. i'm trying to make this short and its hard, so lets rush through my ideal type. funny, witty, almost best friendy relationship, with some gossiping about others; maybe an ear for music too. well, thats about it for now, i hope you have a good time. thanks for being wherever you are right now, and running this blog, dear.

i am pairing you withㅡOsamu Miya

↬ okay hear me out, i was torn between atsumu and osamu but i figured osamu's the the type to have witty comebacks when he's annoyed and frustrated at his brother. i also think he could be a great friend. personally, bestfriends to lovers trope is his dynamics/genre. between the twins, i think osamu is more interested in academics compared to atsumu because that boy only have volleyball running in his head 24/7 so i think osamu would make a great input about philosophy or be more opinionated on general things. finally, for me he's calmer and more in tune to his emotions.

your dream has finally come true. your foot has touched down to the land of the rising sun. you have read thousands of blogs about what to expect and what to do once you visit japan. as presumed, you listed quite a few places that you want to visit throughout your trip here.

one of those is a small yet phenomenal onigiri store located at the heart of hyogo prefecture. you fold the paper containing your list back to it's creases before pushing it inside your pocket. your hand push the doorhandle of the shop. the sound of the chime resonates within the small shop and instantly a tall grey haired boy greets you by bowing his head.

"welcome!" he says. he's wearing a black cap and a white shirt with a japanese character written on it. you have no idea what it meant but let's go just go with it.

your eyes feast on various kind of onigiri displayed inside a glass cabinet as you walk to near it. physically, you could feel your stomach grumble at the sight of delicious food.

"if you're into spicy savory food i recommend you try mentaiko. it's spicy pollack roe. but if you're on the sweeter side then you can try umeboshi. it's pickled plums." he points at flavored onigiris.

"tourist?" he adds, changing the subject. you tear your eyes away from the food only to realize he's had his eyes on you the whole time.

"yeah, im from india." you smile at him.

"is that so?" he raises an eyebrow before turning around to fetch a tray resting on top of the counter top. "ill give you free taste." he slices the onigiris into half before setting it on the tray for you to taste.

"thank you." your smile widens in delight. the door to the kitchen at the far end of the counter top blares open to a person with identical features as him. unlike the guy who gave you free food, his hair is dyed in blonde and his eyes are sharper.

"asshole, where's my jacket?" the blonde dude cocks his head at him.

"not infront of a costumer, jerk." he murmurs to himself, diverting his gaze from the other.

"you just called me a jerk infront of the costumer." the blonde puts his hand on his waist and uses his other hand to point at him as if to prove a point. the grey headed boy purses his lips before slowly turning his head up.

"isn't that your name?" he sarcastically remarks in a calm yet condesing tone. your eyes rally back and forth from one twin to the other. your mouth chewing on your second onigiri as you watch them banter.

"you are exceptionally rude and unforgiving today." the other twin wrinkles his nose in disgust.

"everyday that i get to deal with you and skip on the idea of of murdering you i develop a sense of wit to shut you down."

"just tell me where you put my jacket!" the blonde's voice increases.

"i have no idea where your goddamned jacket is!" the grey headed boy throws his hands in the air in frustration. "people who deal with you on a daily basis reduces their life sentence up to ten years. i wouldn't be surprise if i would be dead tomorrow."

you snort out laughing as soon as the boy behind the counter finishes his sentence. the twins turn their head to you in surprise.

"sorry, go on." you keep your head down as you stifle a laugh. you stuff your mouth with another onigiri to keep your mouth shut.

the chimes tied on top of the door clangs signaling that the other twin has left the place. for once, silence dominated the small store. you crack your head up.

"your onigiri tastes good." you say between chews. you have one hand covering your mouth and the other supporting your weight on the counter as you lean closer to him.

"you won the chaff." you lower your voice before winking at him. your playful behavior earns a smile from the grey haired boy. he keeps his head down probably embarrassed of what just happened.

"ill take two of every flavor displayed." you add, "im pearl."

he looks up to meet with your eyes. the right corner of his lips pull into a half smile. his eyes reflect the lights inside the store. he meekly pulls his hat down.

"osamu miya." right then his half smiles turns into a grin.

a/n: please, when you said that you only write sentimental and dramatic pieces i refuse to believe that! i mean lmao when i was reading through your ask i was giggling to myself. you have humor and it shows! btw, this is the best i can give you in terms of witty banters and comebacks cos i am the type of person to fuel the banters,, probably a few ooh's and laughs here and there to keep the argument blazing. anyway, i hope you like this one. also, the last sentence of your ask made smile. thank you, sweet soul ♡

join the event!

[blurays]

.

if i could be sure id die then i really would kill myself lol

with my luck though i'd survive and it'd just ruin my life a bit more

im really tired no one cares about what i go through anymore im tired of feeling like i have so bad but feeling like its not bad enough for anyone to really care lol

i was like doctors are ruining my life n my mom rolls her eyes and says its only six weeks like yeah its six weeks of nothing but pain and depression and isolation so on and then it still hurts and the next thing starts

no one gets or cares how sad i am lmao i wouldnt wanna deal w sad bitter unpleasant glass bones paper skin terminally ill girl either probably so i cant blame anyone but here we are. i am living for literally no other reason than that i am Supposed To

ppl claim they care but everyone has their own problems. and lies when they say they understand or empathize w mine. and the couple people who do care abt me my mentally ill brain wont let me process it and i feel vaguely bad for them and they live like several thousand miles away. and theres always the distant thought that theyll probably hate me eventually too

everything feels rlly insurmountable lmao every time i have a little bit of hope things just get worse. and again no one even cares like. sorry that my slow death and near constamt physical misery that makes me wanna fully give up seems to really inconvenience everyone else

also really fucking mad abt the fact that if anyone should be in the experimental no sling is better than keeping u immobilized for 6 weeks category it should be me someone who doesnt do sports shit and is incredibly young for a replacement but doctors suck lmao im going to try at my next appointment but i rly might just be like u can put me into physical therapy rn or dont but im not ruining my own quality of life so that u can be lazy and prescribe everyone the same type of recovery 

[drkcnry67]

Sleeping beauty: a twisted supernatural fairytale

A/n: this is for 4 different bingo challenges... hope people like this one! Show it some love if you loved it.

Title: sleeping beauty: a twisted supernatural fairytale

Pairing: dean x reader

Spn Dark sq: free space (shadow/fear demon)

Share the love bingo sq: sleeping beauty

Fluff sq: soulmate AU

H&H sq: Gabriel

Rating: pg-13

summery: not telling

created for @spnfluffbingo​  @spndarkbingo​  @heavenandhellbingo​  @thisismysecrethappyplace​

Once upon a time in a kingdom oh so far away lived a king & his fair queen. for many years they had longed for a child & finally their wish was granted.

a daughter born to them whom they called YN. for they named her after the dawn for she filled their hearts with sunshine. a great holiday planned to honor the princess for the entire kingdom rejoiced at her birth.

as more people graced the party, the party got stronger. amongst those to arrive were King John & his son Prince Dean. fondly had these monarchs dreamed that one day their kingdoms unite.

thus that day they announced Dean, John’s son and Heir to Castiel’s daughter be betrothed. so to her his gift he brought as he looked unkowing on his future bride.

Page: their most honored and exalted excellencies, the 3 good fairies. Mistress Claire, Mistress Jo & mistress Alex...

the 3 fairies approached, now addressing Castiel and his queen.

Fairies: your majesties!

in courtly fashion they all curtsied.

Claire: each of us the child may bless with a single gift, no more no less.

claire approached the craddle, with a wave of her wand she spoke these words.

Claire: little princess, my gift shall be the gift of beauty...

~one gift, beauty rare. full of sunshine in her hair. lips that shame the red red rose. she’ll wake with springtime wherever she goes.~

Jo was next to approach the craddle, with a wave of her wand she spoke these words.

Jo: tiny princess, my gift shall be the gift of song.

~one gift, the gift of song. melody her whole life long. the nightingale’s her troubadour. bringing her sweet serenade to her door.~

Alex stepped up to the craddle, she walked and raised her want tostart her speech but something soon would disrupt her wish.

Alex: “sweet princess, my gift shall be...

a gust of wind blows blazing through the castle doors, they swing wide open. with wind and thunder crashing through, in a blaze of fire in the middle of the crowd appeared Rowena.

Claire, jo and Alex all in states of shock at the sight of Rowena who speaks now.

Rowena: well quite the glittering assemblage King Castiel. Royalty, nobility, the gentry and how quaint even the rebel.

alex tries to fly towards Rowena but is held back by Claire.

Rowena: i really felt quite distressed at not recieving an invitation

Alex now more than a little peaved speaks.

Alex: you weren’t wanted.

Rowena: not wa...? oh dear, what an awkward situation. i had hoped it was merely due to some oversight. well in that event i’d best be on my way. 

queen: and your not offended your excellency?

Rowena: why no your majesty. and to show i bear no ill will i too shall bestwo a gift on the child. 

the fairies back up to protect the craddle. 

rowena: listen well all of you! the princess shall indeed grow in grace and beauty, beloved by all who know her. but, before the sun sets on her 16th birthday, she shall prick her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel & die.

queen: oh no!

queen takes her child in her arms as rowena maniacly laughing...

castiel: seize that creature!

rowena: stand back you fools!

in a flash of fire and lightning as well as laughter rowena disappeared!

Claire: dont despair your majesties, Alex still has her gift to give.

Castiel: then she can undo this fearful curse?

Alex: oh no sire.

Jo: Rowena’s powers are far too great.

Claire: but she can help.

Alex: but...

Jo: just do your best dear!

Claire: yes...

Alex rolls up her sleeves and proceeds to speak her part.

Alex: sweet princess, if through this wicked witches trick a spindle should your finger prick, a ray of hope there still maybe in this, the gift i give to thee. not in death, but just in sleep the fateful prophecy shall keep, and from thy slumber thee shall wake when true loves kiss the spell shall break.

~for true love conquers all~

but castiel still fearful of his daughter’s life, did then and there decre that every spinning wheel on that very day be burnt. so it was done!

~this is the first jump out of fairytale reality and into our own reality where dean is picking up watching this classic fairytale & trying to get some shudeye.~

dean: if i have one more flippin’ dream about this movie im gonna kill someone.

sam: dont worry about it Dean, its not gonna get better with you yelling & screamin’... now try to get some sleep! we have a long drive ahead of us tomorrow!

Dean: yeah your right.

Dean throws his headphones on again trying to coax himself into a relaxing sleep. which Gabriel  had set so Dean would not wake from his sleep till the story would finish, then his destined quest would begin.

Gabriel: sweet dreams Dean. you have a really rude awakening ahead of you... everything you know is about to change...

gabriel casts his curse & leaves dean to his tormented slumber that which awaits him.

~jump back into the story, where we find the 3 fairies talking with Castiel and the queen~

Claire: your majesty please consider this a kind of protection detail, this will allow your sweet YN to grow up in peace without the worry of her pricking her finger when her 16th birthday hath fully passed your sweet YN will be returned to you. to ensure the curse does not come true.

queen: you 3 have always been here even when we havent always honored it, we do so appreciate your loyalty and protection. this has surely been a trying day for us and we are honored to have you 3 commited to helping us protect our daughter.

Castiel:  and it is on our honor that, you 3 shall go with our blessing. please be careful & guard our child well...

many hours later after dark, the king and his queen watched with heavy hearts as thier most precious possesssion their only child disappeared into the night..

many sad and lonely years passed for King Castiel and his peopple. but as the time for the pincess’ 16th birthday drew near, the entire kingdom began to rejoice. for everyone knew that as long as rowena’s domain, the forbidden mountains, thundered with her wrath and frustration her evil prophecy had not yet been fullfilled. 

rowena yells at her incompetant servents, they encur her wrath. rowena sends out her own raven to search for the princess. 

and so for 16 long years, dean had been learning how to live life as a prince. while the wereabouts of the princess remained a secret, the faires carried out their long laid planes living like mortals.

the fairies send Yn to collect some berries while they argue about the kind of last birrthday party they wish to give her, the dress color the cake and the cleaning something extra special for their last night as her guardians.

YN decides to stop in the glen... she feels like something is wrong thats when your real self breaks through... 

YN: omg what am i doing in here? 

as you keep singing you try to remember wht happened to put you in here. sure was your fave movie but it was not how you wanted to live.

Dean was riding Chuck the horse, the scene still happens the singing in the glade, dean hearing your singing following the animals that are stealing his cape, boots and hat. 

your still singing by yourself but now kinda talking to the animals. after that kind of normal conversation you notice that some of your animal friends have come back dressed as a prince. you started singing and continued to dance with your animal friends, but thats when Dean had snuck up and hid in the bush, he waited for his oportune moment.

YN: but if i know you, i know what you’ll do, you’ll love me at once... the way you did...

thats when your vocals were interrupted by another voice to complete your song.

Dean: once upon a dream.

though it wasnt exactly ideal, your hands interacting, it felt more real than you had this entire time. waltzing through the glade by the lake, made your real self shine through. Dean could feel his real self shine through as well.

Dean: are you real?

that question made you look at him instantly. another person whose not really the character he is pretending to be.

YN: you’re real... your an actual person, not just a fairytale character?

Dean: yes, i’m real, what’s your name?

YN: YN, outside this ever turning story book fairytale movie thing im a hunter.... this story just keeps repeating itself everytime someone watches this movie. i have no idea what the hell put me into this neverending storybook. im annoyed greatly but strange thing is i can’t feel any connection right now to my actual body...

Dean: im a hunter as well. my name is Dean. i hunt everything that goes bump in the night from ghosts to demons and everything in between. i am also not sure how i got in here.

YN: your a hunter as well... i thought i was the only one.

Dean: whats the last thing you can remember before waking up here in the story?

YN: i was on a strange case, one thing made me think it was a werewolf. one thing made me think it was a ghost. one thing made me think it was a poltergeist. i remember walking out of my hotel room and that is it. nothing else after that. it sends shivers down my spine when i think of what may be going on with my actual body. how did you end up in here?

Dean: last thing i rememebr is turning on the movie to watch/listen too while i try to sleep. thats it... i have no fucking idea how i ended up in here. as to you saying that you can feel no connection to your physical body, something magical must be blocking the connection, but non-the-less i want to help you. i will finish the story so i can get out of here and find you. i will slay whatever i have to in order to free you, in the story and in reality. i will not rest till i rescue you.

you both continued on in the story, as they say it must continue or the end will not come. but it was nice for both of you to know that neither of you were alone. 

the 3 fairies gave you your birthday surprise and told you of your true heritage then whisked you away to the castle where they hid you; dean showed up at the cottage where Rowena prince-napped him; you are led away by rowena’s curse to prick your finger in a hidden tower room the 3 fairies find you laying you down in “your” room; then they put the kingdom to sleep till someone can wake their sweet YN. 

~meanwhile outside the story Sam is working with other people to figure out what happened to dean. Ellen, Jo and Bobby all were doing everything they could to help Sam figure out what happened to Dean.~

 Back in the story: many sleeping people but the fairies were trying to find out who the handsome stranger was that their sweet Yn had been talking about. they figured he might be their key to saving her. 

but soon it was claire who had been doing a round to make sure all of her section was asleep but it was John’s voice that caught her ear for he started talking about how he had spoken to Dean who had been raving about some pesent girl and how Dean had said he was gonna marry her and such. 

claire managed to suss out that it was Dean that Yn had met in the forest. the words she had heard from John that had firmed her suspicions were Peasent girl & once upon a dream...

claire flies back to Jo and Alex and speaks in raced tones of panic.

Claire: the young man that YN was talking about is Prince Dean. come on girls we have to get back to the cottage.

as fast as their wings could carry them, they rushed back to the cotage but alas were too late for all they found was Dean’s hat no Dean. they conclude that it must have been Rowena who has dean trapped in her forbiiden palace. their minds made up immediately, they had to go there.

Dean, the only one true person who is able to awaken their Sweet YN... they had to find him to save her. off they went no plan in hand just ‘winging’ it as they went, weaving their way through the grounds passed the guards... 

Rowena was in her throne room watching her lackys celebrate. to her raven she speaks.

Rowena: what a pitty prince Dean cant be here to enjoy the celebration. come my pet let us go to the dungeon and cheer him up...

the raven she was just talking too cawed at her as she got up and started walking towards the dungeon where she had been keeping dean.

~*reality jump!!! Dean is still unconcious while Sam is runnning around like a chicken with his head cut off trying to figure out what the hell happened to his brother*~

Sam: i don’t want lecutures. i want to know what happened to Dean.

Bobby: dont worry boy, dean is strong, he will pull through whatever is happening to him. do you have any theories?

Sam: im thinking maybe some sort of curse or something but no signs of any hex bags or nothing surrounding dean. there has to be something we are overlooking. some angle that we have missed.

~*back in the story, dean is stuck in the dungeon not even phased when rowena walks in the door.*~

Rowena: oh come now prince dean why so mellon colly. a wondrous future awaits you. you the destined hero of a charming fairytale come true.

the fairies arrive in the window hiding from the raven and rowena but witness what rowena depicts to Dean through her Staff.

Rowena: behold, king castiel’s castle &and in yonder top most tower, dreaming of her true love, the princess YN. but see the gracious whim of fate. why tis the same said peasent maid who won the heart of our noble prince the other day. she is indeed most wondrous fair. gold of sunshine in her hair, lips that shame the red red rose. in ageless sleep she finds repose. the years roll by, but a hundred years to a stead fast hear are ‘bout a day. and now, the gates of the dungeon part and our prince is free to go his way. off he rides on his noble steed. a valiant figure, straight & tall to wake his love with love’s first kiss & prove that true love conquers all...

Dean struggles against his chains, alex starts towards rowena but is held back by Claire as rowena brings her raven back onto her shoulder as they prepare to exit the dungeon she says one final thing in Deans presense.

Rowena: ah my pet let us leave our noble prince with these happy thoughts.

she exits the dungeon leaving Dean struggling against his bonds. the 3 fairies enter the cell using their magic to release dean from the chains and unlock the door. Dean starts towards the door but is stopped by Claire who proceeds to speak.

Claire: wait prince Dean, the road to true love may yet still be barred by much more dangers, which you alone shall have to face. so arm thyself with this enchanted shield of virtue, and this mighty sword of truth. for these weapons of righteousness shall triumph over evil. now come we must hurry.

out of the dungeon they went but rowena’s raven had stayed behind after rowena and the raven exited the dungeon. he started cawing at them, Dean was thinking this would be easy escape. but he was wrong. the raven was bringing an army of lackies downt he stairs to them. dean begins to fight them off.

Claire: quick Dean jump out the window.

Dean jumps out the same window as the fairies, but some rocks start falling towards Dean. Claire notices and speaks quickly.

Claire: Dean watch out!

Claire turns the rocks into bubbles. then a wall of arrows quickly turned into a wall of flying flowers, alex went down to free chuck. dean rides off on chuck towards the gate where hot oil is thrown, claire turns it into a rainbow.

the chase of a lifetime made alex proud as she chased that raven to the top of rowena’s tower & turned it to stone. this made rowena emerge, freshly woken from her sleep she goes to yell at her raven but discovers that her pet has been turned into stone. 

she watches from her balcony as the drawbridge is being raised, dean and the fairies are heading straight for it, the fairies help him make the jump. chuck keeps running, carrying Dean as quick possible, dodging rowena’s two spells that she has cast causing them to fail. 

in straight eye sight for Dean and the fairies is the castle, but before they can reach it Rowena makes her second last attempt to stop them.

Rowena: a forest of thorns shall be his tomb. born from the skies in a fog of doom. now go with a curse and serve me well. round Castiel’s castle cast my spell.

a black cloud appears over the castle, lightning striking the grounds around, thus causes icky thicky black thorns to grow in large bushes between Dean and the castle. 

Dean stops before them, drawing his sword he fights his way through the thorns this let him out just before the bridge to the castle. rowena seeing this appears before Dean in a firey blaze for her final attempt to stop them.

Rowena: now shall ye deal with me oh prince & all the powers of hell!

Dean and the fairies watch as Rowena using every ounce of power she had left to transform herself into a huge fire spying dragon. Dean begins what turns into a short-ish fight but retreats hastly reaching a wall he climbs high. 

our prince is now trapped on a cliff, another blaze of fire this causes Dean to loose his shield off the side of the cliff. Claire jo & alex bring their collective magic together near the prince they cast this on the sword.

Claire: now sword of truth fly swift and sure, that evil die & good endure.

dean throws the sword at the dragon piercing its heart. rowena lunges one final time but falls off a cliff to her downfall. dean is then lead down the cliff and to the castle, up to the tower where you lay in slumber waiting for this moment. Dean kneeling by your sleeping form placed a light kiss to your lips. 

you wake up just as time freezes. Dean helps you stand up. both of you looking around. yes the entire movie was frozen. puzzled you both stand in front of eachother. 

Dean: now whats happening.

you went to open your hand to grab Dean’s but something fell to the floor. Dean reached down to pick it up. he unfolded it and proceeded to read what was upon it.

Dean (reading note): congratulations! Defeating that witch takes care of one of my issues, that was of course the easy part. your next task Dean is to find your destiny, yes your destiny lies within the form of this girl. you must go back to reality and find her body and wake her up once you do everything and i do mean EVERYTHING will become clear. want a clue? here it is: “in a place of myth & legend where the balance of nature is true, this place you know it all too well. what you believe isnt real is, everything you know shall change forever. the ways of old shall guide you by, this far side of _________ in the final resting place of _________...” i look forward to seeing you very very soon. try to hurry i hear there is trouble on your horizons. 

now you both were very very very confused. this is what caused you to pop up and say..

YN: what the hell kind of clue was that? any idea what he is talking about? wait does that mean im not in my hotel room anymore. that someone or something moved my body?

Dean: that is exactly what it means and i will do everything in my capable power to find you. hopefully when i get back to reality this paper goes with me... 

just as he finished speaking a portal opens, visions of dean’s unconcious body appear along with Sam and others going frantic over what happened to Dean.

Dean: Yn, i give you my solem oath that i will not rest till you are safe by my side, i will fight whoever, go wherever, do whatever i have to in order to save you. dont give up hope and pray that this loop does not repeat for you. pray this time freeze does not disappear when i walk through that portal. 

YN: i have faith in you Dean please hurry. i look forward to never leaving your side.

Dean placed a chaste kiss to your forehead before he walked through the portal. you sat on the bed and watched as Time remained frozen but you were once again alone.

Dean arrived back in his own body, he sat straight up and scared the living daylights out of his brother, bobby and several others all of whom embraced Dean. 

Dean then went to where Sam’s laptop was and began searching the lore, the myths and legends specifically. when Sam approached him about what he was doing, Dean presented sam with that note. suddenly it made mroe sense to Sam, who left Dean in the charge of Jo while he, bobby and ellen all went to grab food and booze. 

Jo: what happened to you?

Dean: one minute i was in that bed trying to fall asleep using a disney movie & the next thing i know im inside the movie. im telling you i would have preferred Hell. but i wasnt the only person from reality stuck in the movie. there was a girl, she said she is a hunter too she was on a strange case when she found herself in the movie. she has no idea of how long she has been in there. she also thinks her body has been moved. this piece of paper proves that someone or something is holding her body somewhere and its up to me to find this girl. at this point nothing else matters. i made her a promise now i have to keep it. 

Jo: let me see the paper again...

Dean hands Jo the paper and after a few moments of staring at it she takes a pen and fills in the blanks... thats when the paper glowed... and revealed a magical map... 

Dean: how did you do that?

Jo just smiled and laughed...

Jo: im really good at fill in the blanks. its a natural talent i get it from mom... your clue should have finished like this:   “in a place of myth & legend where the balance of nature is true, this place you know it all too well. what you believe isnt real is, everything you know shall change forever. the ways of old shall guide you by, this far side of Romania in the final resting place of Dracula...”

Dean hugged her, he knew where he had to go now but how the hell was he gonna get there. it was then that Dean went to load several of his handhelds and load onto his back a machete load up some ammo clips. 

he didnt know what to expect but he was certain that being cautious was better than being stupid. he was not gonna walk in there half assed. he needed to be as prepared as could be. however thats when bobby, sam and ellen walked back into the room. 

Sam: Dean what are you doing?

Dean: im getting ready before i call cas for transport. this will allow me to not get dinged by airport security and not to become sea sick either. but i hope honestly that this mission im about to embark on is gonna be beneficial. 

Bobby: what the hell do you think your doing? never mind that where are you going?

Dean: romania, Jo has the knowledge on why i am going to romania, she will fill you guys in... ill take my burger to go. put my pie in the fridge. 

once Dean is ready to go, he stands in the center of the room and smiles back at the others but then Jo pipes up and goes to stand beside Dean with a backpack on her back... 

Dean: Jo what...

Jo: im not letting you walk into your destiny alone. do not for one second think im not gonna jump at this opportunity to hunt with you, to help you to find your destiny. you helped me once to know what my destiny was, now its my turn to repay the favor.

Dean takes Jo by the hand as he in a stern voice he speaks the following words. 

Dean: Castiel get your oh holy feathery ass down here i need a lift and your my ticket to my next destination.

cas comes to the hotel room and approaches Dean & Jo.

Castiel: where am i taking you and your friend here...

Dean: transylvania and dude once we land you cant be there... it will not be helpful for you to be there. this is a mission i have to do alone. me and my friend here go through the rest of the process alone. 

Cas only nods completely understanding on what his friend has asked of him. he takes Dean and Jo to Transylvania. then once they are safe on the ground again cas leaves. 

Dean: okay now to look at this magic map and figure out where we are and where the resting place of Dracula is... 

Jo: well lets first of all make sure we are prepared before we go into town. i did a bit of research apparently they dont trust strangers here. we need to show them that we mean no harm. or just keep our noses down and pass through without being detected. 

Dean: well lets see what the map says. 

Jo leads Dean to a rock as she lays out the map... 

Jo: these 2 dots over here are us... but what is that red dot over yoner on this map... look there is a multicolored one too.... 

Dean: the multicolored one is my destiny, the red one has to be what is holding her captive. 

jo notices some writing appearing on the map after a few moments. 

Jo: whats that say...

Dean: it says, “inside the castle you face your fears, beat them out till you cant no more. fears and demons go hand in hand but if you beat them in order to save your destiny. this is to be your greatest reward.” what the hell does that mean... 

Jo: it means no matter what we need to get to that castle. 

hand in hand they get their tracks moving towards the path...

Jo: i really hope the story of transylvania is fake... 

Dean: you mean the fact that as soon as the sun goes down werewolves and vampires come out to play... you and me both but hey if they do we are fully prepared. this place is on top of a supernatural time  bomb. everything that goes bump in the night comes out after sunset. 

both dean and jo look up into the sky the last bit of light leaves the tree line. 

Dean: have your silver bullets and machete ready just in case... we are not taking any chances. we have to get to that castle. 

Jo: dont worry we will... 

Dean smiles as both of them continue making their way through the forst, a little quicker than normal pace. the sun had now fully set, the light that had been guiding them was gone. 

Jo: just follow the path the map says this will lead us to the castle where your destiny awaits you. Dean are you sure we...

thats when she stopped speaking... her words cut out... Dean pulled out his machete and quickly brought it to face the enemy that now held his best friend back. 

Shadow entity: ah so the prodigal has come for his prize.. well i think ill take a  constitution to ensure that you follow the rules, to ensure the balance is complete, to ensure that we are all in clarity to our debts. to this i have something to say this to you: you are part of the same card, the girl i have sleeping right now is not going to wake up without her other half. you have not done anything to earn her freedom, so i take your friend as kind of a wake up call to the horrors that which wait you inside. this castle has its own story but to unlock its secrets you must face your fears. face them down Dean, only then will you have earned her freedom. see you real soon.

the shadow figure disappears with Jo... Dean picks up her bag and keeps his machete on hand as he continues walking. following the map as he heard the soft crunching of his boots under the snow. winter sure is warmish in whats supposed to be the coldest part of romania. 

Dean (to self): i have no idea what the hell is going on but i now have 2 bright lights to save i am just hoping i can conquer whatever appears before me... Jo for your courage please be my light. guide me to where you are... my dear sister. 

meanwhile Jo has been placed in a room, where you lay in wait for your destiny. Jo takes one look at you and she smiles. she knows that you are definately dean’s destiny and then she speaks the following words. 

Jo: in all my years i had never thought Dean would find his destiny, never after he helped me find mine i swore i would help him find his, now Dear Brother please follow my light...

Dean stops a quick moment to catch his breath and look at the map... he then sees Jo’s dot on the map glow brighter... it acts as a flashlight lighting up the path he must walk. 

after several more steps and following his light he arrives at the castle.

 Dean: here i com ladies... dont loose hope.

Dean holding his machete walked inside the castle.. the first thing he saw was the vision of himself as a demon tellig hm that he was gonna die alone and that he would become that... he told that vision that he would always have a family beside him even if they werent around that cared for him that would never abandon him.

that he went on his way still fllowing the light o the ground he comes accross the first blade which tells him that he fears being back in hell torturing souls and how good it made him feel. dean tells it that he will never and shall never go back to hell and never will he torutue those who dont deserve it again.

a few more fears tried to get dean to turn away from this quest, tried to get him to fail but nothing worked. the last area on the map was a long corridor it looked as thought there was a figure about mid way down. 

the map let off a warning flash meaning there was danger approaching. Dean speaks once more to whatever is trying to face him down.

Dean: i address the entity in front of me. who are you? why have you brought me to this awful place?

Shadow: i am the demonic shadow of Count Dracula and I have brought you here so you can face me in the ultimate battle. Either I will be finally put to rest or I will be made whole again. do you accept my challenge?

Dean drops the bags and keeps both his guns and his machete as he speaks.

Dean: look dumn ass, i dont know who your the spirit or entitiy of but this is not how things are run in my world. in my world the good guys win and the bad guys loose. now if you stand aside and let me wake my destiny and save my sister then you might just get to be put back to sleep again. or ill succeed and kill you right now. your choice, i’m good either way. 

Shadow: you dare to think you stand a chance against me, how cute. very well, if its death you choose then allow me to help you with that.

Dean moved out of the way as the shadow lunged toward him, missed and just landed again.. Dean then shot out 6 rounds of dead mans blood rounds all aimed at shadow-Dracula, he dodged those. 

shadow: tell you what, ill make you a deal if you surrender now ill give you ten long years to spend with your so called “destiny” in exchange for you letting me out of here with my life. 

Dean: how bout not a prayer. eat bullets instead.

Dean unloads the rest of the bullets in a circular form at the ground around shadow-dracula. completing the devils trap... 

Dean: oh wait you dont need to eat the bullets cause your history pal... 

Shadow-dracula looked down and around himself, the look that he now sported was one of fear. he was the one that now was terrified. 

Shadow: this is impossible no one imprisons the great Dracula. 

Dean: oh buddy im gonna do alot more than that, time for you to go back to where you came from. 

Dean stands up tall as he then speaks the same words he had spoken previously hundreds upon hundreds of times. 

Dean:  Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica, ergo draco maledicte, ut ecclesiam tuam secura, tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audios bitch!

that was all Dean had to say the shadow of Dracula was no more. he went back to grab the bags and continued forward... he shot the lock on the doors and kicked them open. 

Jo: Dean you found us... i believe you know what to do romeo... put everything down ill prepare to treat any wounds and such that show themselves once you wake her. 

Dean: Jo it was dracula, the shadow outside the door was dracula’s shadow. i cant believe his shadow was so hostile. i mean if i hadnt wasted 2 clips of amo drawing out a devils trap i would have lost the fight. 

Jo: ya ya ya okay dude, you have an overdue appointment with destiny over on that bed, now drop the bags and go. 

Dean knew jo would have kicked his ass if he didnt listen. he did as told, he dropped the bags and walked over to kneel beside you. he brushed some hair from your forehead..

Dean: together now and always i have always been your once upon a dream.

his lips met yours in a gentle kiss. he pulled back after a few seconds and waited to see if it workd. a while later you open your eyes and touch Dean’s cheek. 

YN: you found me?

Dean: did you doubt i would? i said i would and i keep my promises. this girl over here is my sister Jo.  she is gonna give you the once over and then ill call for our ride out of here once she has you in a clean set of clothes. im gonna make sure we are still safe... i will call cas once we are all ready.

Dean leaves you in the hands of Jo who hands you some clothes and assesses you making sure you are not hurt. Dean comes back a few moments later and calls cas to come bring you all home. 

Cas came brought you, dean and Jo back to the hotel. you and dean were gonna take some time to figure out what everything meant. this was when a bright light came upon the entire room. 

Dean: whats going on?

thats when Gabriel appeared in the room. everyone had hand guns on him immediately. but he speaks not with hostility but with normality.

Gabriel: ah winchesters and friends. do not be alarmed for YN and Dean have been written in the stars since the beginning of time. Dean and Yn im sorry for trapping you both in that sleeeping curse it was the only way to get you both to listen to reason. to listen to your hearts. i was only trying to get you both to follow the rules that destiny had for you. 

Dean: then why show up and tell us about it now...

Gabriel: cause i knew if i didnt it would have been alot worse later on. 

Dean: what happens now?

Gabriel: well with your permission i could marry you and Yn right here right now... if you both agree. 

you and Dean exchange looks before smiling.

Dean: when do we begin?

Gabriel snapped his fingers and the room transformed into a garden glade type thing. before you and Dean could say anything else you were taken from grungy hotel room to garden glade. 

Gabriel: we are gathered here today to join Dean and YN in the ever holy bonds of Matrimony. this holy bond is a sacred gift, that deserves to be protected cherish it now and always. now i am assuming that there are no objections to this holy union.

the room was silent as Gabriel held his hand out and 2 silver bands appeared clearly made for you and Dean. 

Gabriel: vows or no vows.

Dean: what more needs to be said, we already said everything we needed to... we know what we are. we have our feelings, we need no words for them.

Gabriel: very well, Dean take the band and tell Yn what you think should go with this ring!

Dean takes the ring and slowly slides it on your finger as he reveals whats in his heart. 

Dean: YN after the movie and what i had to do to rescue you. i have to say that im 100% positive about you being the single most best thing that has ever stepped into my path of life. i promise now and always to honor, love cherish and whatever else goes with that... i love you Yn your the best part of me now.

you take the ring and you do the same thing.

YN: Dean, when i met you in the movie i was unsure of your intentions. then it was your beautiful green eyes that made me swoon. now i stand here to say i too now and forever more will honor, love, cherish and everything else that goes with it for the rest of my life. you are an amazing man Dean Winchester i love you so much and i cant wait to be your wife and have your last name. 

Gabriel: by the powers and laws bestowed on me by Heaven, i now am honored to pronounce you husband and wife. Dean you may now kiss your beautiful wife. 

Dean kisses you with so much passion. there was nothing to do for everyone else except cheer and clap. 

everyone lived happily ever after. well at least once upon a dream!

[diddlesanddoodles]

Dumpling ch. 19

Authors Notes: (Starting to get into the chapters I’ve had planned for literally YEARS. Feels so good making progress. And thank you for all the lovely messages! Hope you all enjoy.)

Farris’s answer came in the form of manual labor. Three large bushels of long beans that needed washing and their stems pulled off, ten pumpkins that needed breaking down and seeds collected and washed, and confusingly enough, a whole pine tree limb that needed all the needles removed and collected.

 As preparation for the dinner service was ramping up, the main kitchen was in full swing with staff rushing around and hot and sharp instruments flying about. So the two humans were banished to corner of the spice pantry atop a small table strategically placed with nothing nearby so as to be used in an any ill-conceived escape attempt. They were a small island onto themselves and would not be able to leave without a giant’s aid. Supposedly.  

“He thinks he’s so clever,” Jae remarked after they green door had been shut and they had been given their orders. “He thinks I can’t get down off of this? Watch me.”

“Don’t,” Nenani hissed at him. “We’re already in enough trouble.”

“This is nothin’,” remarked Jae with a cocky grin. “I’ve been in much worse.”

Nenani stared at him, unimpressed. “I’ve heard.”

“Farris’s mind must be going,” he said, paying her no mind as he sat at the edge of the table and began to lower himself down, feet reaching and feeling around for a foothold. The green door behind him silently opened and Yale stepped in grinning. As Nenani opened her mouth to say something, the giant put a finger to his lips conspiratorially and winked. She closed her mouth and watched.  

Jae had not picked up on Yale’s presence at all and continued talking aloud. “How many times has he seen me climb these tables. Pff, he should know me better than this...”

“Aye,” agreed Yale, grinning like a cat from the doorway, and startling Jae. The boy scrambled for purchased on the old wooden surface, breathless with surprise and exertion. Jae glared over his shoulder. But Yale, just grinned mischievously, gestured vaguely in their direction. “S’why Farris asked me t’grease them legs. So less ya want to have a long fall and crack yer arse on them stones, best be stayin’ where ya are, brat.”

From behind the green door somewhere out in the kitchen, Farris called out, “He tryin’ to run?”

“Aye, he is.”

“GET YER ARSE BACK ON THAT TABLE, BRAT. OR I’LL BOIL YA WITH THEM BEANS!”  

Huffing through his noes, Jae reluctantly pulled himself back up to sit on the table’s edge.

“I’m not gonna sit here and play kitchen lackey all day.”

“Well,” Yale replied. “Farris says ya are.”

“You can’t keep me here.”  

“Fer the time bein’, the King says we can,” Yale replied with a shrug. “So get to it ya two. Gjerk’s waitin’ on them pumpkins.”

“You lot could have this all done in a few minutes,” Jae objected. “This will take us forever!”

“THAT’S THE DAMN POINT, BOY!” Farris hollered from beyond the door. “TIE ‘IM TO THE DAMN TABLE IF YA HAVE TO, YALE.”

“Gladly,” Yale replied, almost daring Jae to give him justification to do just that. “So, what’s it gonna be?”

Jae glowered miserably at the expectant giant before getting to his feet and walking over to the pile of gourds, kicking one lightly, before sitting down with an audible thump. “How are we suppose to cut these if we don’t have a knife?”

As if anticipating the question, Yale strode over to their small table and reached behind his back to pull from his apron a leather bundle. It was tiny in the black haired giant’s hands and he held it out to Jae. “Connar was gracious enough to lend these to us.”  

As Jae begrudgingly took the parcel, Yale’s other hand reached out and patted him on the head. Already irritated, Jae snarled and smacked the retreating fingers.  

“Do that again and I’ll bite you!” Jae warned.  

“Try it and I’ll bite ya back. And I warn ya,” Yale said, not at all taking the threat serious. He rather seemed to find whole thing immensely amusing. “I’d bet good coin that mine’s much worse.”

Yale left them to it after that and both Jae and Nenani spent the remainder of the afternoon at the tasks. For nearly an hour Jae was muttering to himself in irritation about the injustice of it all and being a general curmudgeon. The leather bound parcel turned out to be three knives of varying shapes and lengths, but of high quality and honed to a sharp edge.    

“I should have just let them tie me up and used these to cut myself free,” Jae grumbled, examining one of the larger knives. “This sucks.”

“Can’t we just finish this and let it be done with?” Nenani pleaded. “Aren’t you tired? Because I want to get this done and go to sleep.”  

“Fine,” Jae relented. “They didn’t have to be so commanding about it. Sheesh...”

“They’re just trying to keep us safe,” she told him with a frown. “You’re being such a baby.”

She had expected a sharp tongued retort, but Jae was silent and seemingly lost in his own thoughts. After a moment, he replied in a small and nearly regretful voice, “I know...”

…………………………….

She never in her life had ever seen a long bean. They were as thick as a persons arm and as long as Nenani was tall. Jae told her they were native to Vhasshal and grew in an area called Timberbrook, where they were apparently famous for them. Despite their size, they were easy enough to work through, but the pumpkin were a much messier affair and neither human much cared for the smell. They were a mottled green and gray and not any bigger than a normal gourd. But their outer flesh was hard and tough. Jae took it upon himself to break apart and cut the dusty colored gourds while Nenani picked out the small white flat seeds from their slimey and goopy innards. After washing and drying, they went into a shallow ceramic pot and set aside. What any giant would want with such tiny seeds, Nenani did not know.  

“Yaesha uses them,” Jae replied, plunging one of Connar’s knives into the flesh of the next gourd. “He grinds them up and adds them to tonics.”  

The worst task ended up being the pine needle collecting. The small green barbs were sharp and there was so many to collect. After the sheer physical exertion of the previous two tasks, let alone the earlier events of the day, Nenani’s hand coordination was all but shot. It made her hands clumsy and prone to pricking herself on the sharp ends. She tried to use her skirts as a glove, but they still managed to penetrate and stab at her sore fingers.  

“Why would you even want to eat a pine tree,” Nenani said grumpily and sucked on her abused finger tips. She grimaced as the bitter taste of pine sap hit her tongue. “Ugh, it’s gross.”

“You don’t eat it,” Jae laughed. “You boil the needles and make a tea. It’s supposed to help with arthritis.”  

They still had almost half of the tree branch still to harvest when Yale poked his head in through the door. “Makin’ any headway? Gjerk’s needin’ them pumpkins now.”  

“They’re over there,” Jae replied shortly, waving at the pile of cut up gourd behind the,. “Take ‘em! They stink.”

With a suppressed smile, Yale easily swept the chunks of pumpkin onto a dish and surveyed the rest of their work. “Still on the pine needles? You two are maddeningly slow at this.”  

His teasing tone was lost on both humans and they returned his cheeky grin with tired glares.  

“Can we be done now?” Nenani asked pleadingly. “I’m tired of picking pine needles.”

“Yer not supposed to enjoy yer punishment, Dumplin’,” Yale laughed. “But, seein’ as it’s gettin’ late and you two are slower than molasses...”

As he trailed off, Yale looked around and back through the green doorway to see if anyone was watching and then plucked up the pine branch. As easily as picking a flower, Yale pinched one end and dragged fingers across, pulling every needle off effortlessly and when he was done, placed back down upon the table a bare tree limb. Both Nenani and Jae sighed in relief.  

“Gods, finally!” Jae exclaimed, falling back onto the table and closing his eyes.  

“Can I go to sleep now?” Nenani asked, her eye barely open.  

Yale chuckled. “What? Without supper? Figured you’d be starvin’ by now.”

“I am, but also sleepy...”

“Bet you wish you had some of Maevis’s loopy juice now, huh?”

Nenani made a gagging sound. “No.”

……………………………………………………………………..

Gjerk and Herit, as the youngest of the kitchen staff, were set to cleaning as the last of the top table’s dishes were taken up through back servants’ stairwell. Bart, Saen, Avery, and Yale were still out in the courtyard and Farris was making his rounds and verifying everything of that day’s work that needed doing had in fact been done.

“What do you think the King’s gonna do?” Herit asked, wiping down the long table. “About the Ibronian fella.”  

“He should throw him in the dungeon.” Gjerk replied, stirring the pot of simmering stew that would be their dinner. He planted one hand on his hip and waved the spoon in the air. “What kind a’ man threatens two lil’ kids? They can’t even reach his kneecaps!”

“You realize I’m only a year younger than you, right?” Jae asked from his perch on small shelf near the archway door.  

Gjerk’s face and tips of his ears turned red. “W-well, yeah. But you’re a whole lot smaller than me. It’s not the same!”

“Nah, Jae’s right,” Herit snickered. “I think if it were a contest between which of ya could outrun the Ibronian, my money would be on ‘im.”  

Nenani was nowhere near as skilled in climbing as Jae, so she was relegated to counter below and had not been paying very much attention to the conversation. Yale had taken pity on her earlier and set her up with some honey tea to revive her and that had occupied the majority of her attention. So when a large wooden spoon slammed against the wall a few feet from her head, she let out an involuntary shriek of surprise. Herit and Gjerk were chasing after one another, pulling at each others’ clothes and hair. Herit got a good grab on his fellow and the two tumbled to the ground in a cacophonous heap of curses and cries of anger and pain.  

It wasn’t a moment later that Yale came rushing through the archway, eyes sharp and seeking. “What th’fuck is goin’ on?!”

Neither of the younger giants paused in their brawl to answer him and it took only a moment for Yale to piece it all together. From behind Yale, Avery and Bart entered and seeing his two underlings tumbling about the floor, the bearded giant scowled.  

“Get yer arses off the floor, ya idgets!” yelled Bart. “Before I skin both yer hides!”

As Avery and Bart went about separating the two tenderfoots, Yale made a bee line to Nenani. “What was the scream fer? Ya alright?”

Embarrassed, Nenani hunched her shoulders and hid her face partially behind her cup. She nodded meekly. “...it just scared me.”

Yale blinked down at her and then rolled his eyes with a sigh. Despite that, he did look visibly relieved. “Had me thinkin’ someone came down and started attackin’ you lot.”

“Not unless Gjerk’s soup spoon counts...” Jae added.

Once he fight was broken up and the preparations for supper continued,  routine took over and everyone began to take their seats. Herit silently poured out measures of ale while sporting a new split lip as Gjerk dolled out bowls of stew with a newly ripped shirt collar.  

“Lolly’s gonna have yer hide,” snickered Saen in reference to the torn garment. Gjerk moved as if to pass a bowl to him, but passed him over and handed it to Yale instead.

Saen frowned. “Oi!”

“I can mend it myself...” Gjerk mumbled.

“Quinn and Kol ain’t back yet?” Herit asked, setting two mugs of ale in front of each bakers’ empty chairs.

“No,” Farris said, cleaning off the hilt of a small blade. Once satisfied, he slipped back into the sheath at his hip. Nenani could not remember ever seeing him wear a knife before. Use one, certainly. But he had never armed himself and she could not help but feel a pinprick of worry. “But if they want to eat, they best be hurryin’.��  

“Where did they go?” Jae asked from his seat next to Nenani. Yale had taken a shallow ceramic dish and placed it upturned on the table to give the two human a sort of table of their own.  

“Lolly came and got them earlier,” Bart replied, breaking apart a chunk of bread and handing smaller portions to Jae and Nenani. “The Queen was wantin’ a word with ‘em.”

“And that doesn’t bother anyone?” Jae asked, pulling at the softer insides of his piece of bread. “Y’know. Given what’s going on.”

“The Queen doesn’t have a reason t’want ‘em harmed,” Farris said after taking a long pull of his ale. “It’s you she hates, boy. Not my bakers.”  

“Guilt by association?” He offered back.  

“Gods help us all.” The kitchen master replied. Jae smiled and huffed a quiet laugh.  

“S’long as they don’t spill any gravy on her,” Bart said with a grin. “I’m bettin’ they’ll be just fine.”

The smile was gone from Jae face in an instant, but Yale, Saen, and Farris were highly amused.  

“What’re the chances that I could get some of that ale?” Jae asked.  

“Not good,” chortled Farris. “Tea’ll suit ya just fine.”  

Jae slumped down in defeat, sheer exhaustion finally dulling his tongue. Just as things had begun to quiet down and everyone tucked into their food, rapid footsteps began echoing down the servants stairwell. Both Kol and Quinn practically leaped down the last few stairs and into the kitchen, faces flushed and breathing hard. And grinning wildly.  

“I take it all is well?” Farris asked with a quirked eyebrow.  

“Yer never gonna guess what just-” Quinn began, quickly sweeping into his seat.  

“The Queen gave us raises!” Kol cut him off as he too took his seat, beating the table excitedly. Quinn gave Kol a murderous glare, but it was quickly swept away by his own excitement and he drank heavily from his tankard.  

Farris’s blinked in surprise. “She what?”    

“Congratulations...” Avery muttered jealously.  

“No, ya dolt. All of us!” Kol snapped. The entire table perked up. “She’s givin’ us all a penny more per month!”  

“What?” Yale asked with a mouthful of soup. “Really? Why?”

“Guess she really liked them pastries we’ve been makin’,” Quinn answered smugly. “But I guess we’ve all impressed her with the cookin’.”

“Horse shit,” Farris replied grimly. He did not seem to be sharing in the collective mirth. “Looks t’me like she’s buying favors.”

The energy of the room dulled as they mulled over the idea.  

“What favors would she be buying?” Jae asked Farris, not quite masking his nervousness. It did not escape Farris’s notice and waved his hand dismissively.

“We ain’t handin’ ya over to her if that’s what yer worried about.”

“I’d do it for three pennies extra,” Avery quipped, but Saen punched him in the arm. “AH! Dammit, Saen it was a joke!”

“I have doubts,” said Farris in a raised tone to recapture the staff’s attention. “...that she has anythin’ like that in mind. She’s startin’ t’see how unpopular she is with some folks and she’s a young lass. Newly married and in a land that ain’t her own.”

“She might be just tryin’ to establish some sort of peace,” Bart agreed, but still seemed to contemplate the situation. “She’s plenty popular with the blue bloods, though. Why try to win our lowly favors and opinions?”

“Maybe it ain’t our opinions she’s trying to win,” Yale countered. “D’ya hear anythin' 'bout what’s t’be done with the Ibronian, lads?”

“Nothing official, but a footman told me he’s bein’ sent back to Ibronia first light,” Quinn said. “I guess the King really let ‘im have it too.”

Yale nodded knowingly. “Aye, like I said. It ain’t our favor she’s vying fer.” He poked Jae in the side, inciting a cry of irritation from the human. “Maybe it’s his.”

There was a short pause before the entire table seem to erupt in dissension. Even Jae was looking at Yale as though the young Vhasshalan had properly lost his marbles.  

“HA!” Kol laughed. “She never had much of an opinion of ‘im before. Why now?”

As the discussion turned to all the reasons why Yale’s theory was absolute bonk, Nenani mulled over the riddle in her mind. She remembered Barnaby’s painting of the King and Queen’s wedding day and tried to recall if she seemed happy in the picture. She understood that the marriage had been for political reasons and it seemed to her that it would be a very hard thing to marry for that rather than love. To be far away from your family. Her new husband might be very angry with her for what Creag had tried to do in her name. She certainly hoped that the Queen felt bad about her man trying to kill Jae. And her!

The conversation carried on in that way further into the night long after their bowls were empty and Nenani began to feel the heavy tug of sleep.

“Oh, wait. Look at th' Dumplin’,” someone said teasingly. She blinked blearily in the direction of the voice to identify the source, but she could not tell as the world began to blur. Warm soft laughter swam above her as she laid her head down and closed her eyes.  “Ah! There she goes...”

…………………………………………

It was a familiar dream now. Boats burned on the horizon and people screamed, but she did not see her Uncle’s boat this time. Instead, a small skiff ambled moor-less in the tide and the longer she stared, the closer the skiff approached. She hovered above the water, toes barely touching the surface, and watched immobile as the dark skiff drew near. It bumped lightly against her shins as she looked into it. A shroud covered body lay inside surrounded by burial offerings and flowers. A large jeweled amulet lay atop the green shroud and she found it mesmerizing. The jewel set in the center was as large as a duck’s eggs and was speckled with flecks of orange, red, green, and yellow. The burning light of the fires made the red of the jewel glisten like blood and she could not resist reaching out to touch it. As her fingers grazed the ice cold surface of the amulet, the green velvet shroud pulled away to reveal the empty black eyes of a skull.

With a gasp, Nenani drew back her hand.  

Stone rose up from the waves and pressed to her feet and suddenly she was no longer in the harbor of the Southland Ports, but deep inside the walls of Vhasshal. The pitted walls of the catacombs rose up around her and voices rang out inaudibly. Nenani turned to find the way out, but her movements were slow and weighted as though trying to run through deep mud. Something gripped her wrist and pulled, but she would not turn to look at it. She could feel the hard bone of its hand and hear the rattling of its spine.  

“The cracks grow wider,” the voice moaned, tugging her closer to the center of the room. “Soon he will see you…”

“Please,” she begged, crying wildly as she was pulled ever more closer to the room’s center. “Please leave me alone!”

“There is too much inside you building...the cracks will break...”

“I just wanna go home! Please! PLEASE!”

A boney hand gripped her face and she could smell ash. “...the fire of Silvaara is still wild.”

The harder she breathed, the less air she seemed to take in and no matter how hard she pushed back, the skeleton assailant was so much stronger. Something pressed up against the side of her head and the voice spoke again, hideously close to her ear. “He will come for you...”

“MAMA!”  

All at once she was free and she tumbled hard onto her knees. The cold air of the catacombs was gone and replaced with the warmth of the kitchen hearth. She could smell stew and ale and feel the rough wood grain under her hands. All at once sound returned and everyone was shouting in surprise.  

“Seven hells!”

“What the fuck was that fer?”  

“Shit-!”

“Gods, that one can scream...”

Something large touched her back and she immediately curled in on herself with a cry of terror.  

“Oi! Nenani,” Yales voice broke through the haze and she sensed his hands hovering over her. “Yer alright! It was just a nightmare, Dumplin’. Yer alright.”

Her rapid breathing slowed as she became of aware of herself again and a rolling wave of emotion surged from inside her and poured out. Tears turned to muffled cries and then into open sobbing that just would not cease. Yale laid a tentative hand on her back, rubbing lightly and trying to comfort her. She reached out to grasp his fingers as though they would keep her from sinking into the abyss. His voice, quiet and calming, whispered over her head so close she could feel the heat of his breath along her neck. “Yer safe, Nenani. Was just a dream, darlin’. Just a bad dream...”

“Yale,” Farris’s gruff voice spoke from somewhere to Nenani’s right. “Go on an’ get that lil’un t’bed.”  

She did not hear Yale responded, but his hands slowly and with measures and practiced care scooped her into the crook of one arm before he turned towards the barracks. She felt a moment of panic as the passed through the curtains and into the pitch dark of the room and even more so when Yale lowered her down onto a pillow. She grabbed onto his shirt as he tried to pull away.

“S’alright. Just let me light a candle, eh?” Her fingers reluctantly released the fabric and she listened with baited breath as Yale hurried to light a candle. A flicker of yellow flame appeared nearby as the candle’s wick caught the flame of the match. Yale sat it inside a small oval cutout in the wall near his bunk and crouched down to be eye level with Nenani.  

“Better?”  

Nenani nodded, but it was a lie. Yale seemed to sense it as well and slowly reached out a hand towards her. He patted her hair softly as Nenani sniffed and tried to control her hiccuping sobs. “Yer shakin’, Dumplin’. Must’ve been a bad one to set ya off like this.”

Her throat felt clogged and too tight to answer so she just nodded.  

“Wanna tell me what it was about? Might help some,” Yale offered. “Was it that Creag bastard?”

She shook her head.  

“...was it Farris?”

She shook her head vehemently and managed a thick sounding, “...n-no...not Farris.”

“Keral then? Knowin’ him, he probably made ya think ya were in real deep trouble when he found ya in the halls with no marker.”

She shook her head again.  

“Well...” Yale probed further. “Wanna tell me? You don’t have ta if ya don’t wanna.”

She was able to meet his gaze at last and could see the real concern in them. Yale had been endlessly kind to her ever since she first arrived. He always hung around and stepped in to defend her whenever he felt he was needed and always made sure she was fed and had company. She utterly trusted Yale possibly more than anyone else in all of Vhasshal. And before she really understood what she was saying, the words left her lips.  

“...there are...dead people...in the walls...”

[we-stan-bruce-ban]

18 or 14 for the prompt thing 👀👀👀👀

14: “Is everything alright?” “It is now that you’re here with me.” *Which I tweaked a bit but same general idea

-O-

Thor hadn’t had a phone for terribly long. He still had a lot to figure out, but over time he’d learned one thing for sure: late night texts from Tony were almost never a good thing.

[Tony]: Hey

[Tony]: Bad news

What a surprise.

[Thor]: What is it this time?

[Tony]: Bruce

Immediately, he felt his heart stop. Thor’s typically slow thumbs were a blur as he tapped out a message.

[Thor]: What happened? Is he ok?

[Tony]: Not…really

[Thor]: What does that mean?

[Tony]: He’s stuck

[Thor]: Stuck?

[Tony]: Yep

[Thor]: In what?

[Tony]: He’s stuck mid transformation between the hulk and himself

[Tony]: Like, kinda big kinda green, very distressed, and I think he and the hulk are sharing a mind? Idk he keeps yelling at himself every now and then

Thor honestly didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know Bruce could get stuck like that, but it sounded awful. He took a moment to figure out what he wanted to ask next.

[Thor]: Does he seem hurt? Physically?

[Tony]: No clue, its kinda hard to tell

[Thor]: I’m coming over.

[Tony]: Figured you would. On floor 14

[Thor]: Please keep watch over him while I’m on my way.

[Tony]: No I think Im just gonna go make myself a margarita while my best friend is tearing his own existence apart in ways we didnt even know where possible beforehand

[Tony]: Of course Ill watch him

Thor didn’t waste time replying to Tony’s trademark sarcasm. Within mere minutes, he was over at Stark Tower, standing in the freezing rain and harsh gusts of wind that were probably brought on by his own stress. The door opened for him and he slipped inside, making a beeline for the elevator. Thor rode all the way up to the fourteenth floor, trying to catch his breath. Before he even got out of the elevator, he could tell that there was a strange sort of tension in the air.

When he stepped out, Bruce was nowhere to be found. Tony was rubbing his temple, as if he had a headache. Thor neared him, his eyes darting around the lab.

“Where is he?”

“Asleep. Finally.”

“Asleep?”

“He eventually passed out. Over-exhaustion, probably.”

“Okay,” he nodded, pausing. “Is he okay, though?”

“I…don’t know.”

Thor sighed and looked up towards the ceiling, then back at Tony. “So, he’s both? Him and the Hulk? At the same time?”

“Basically,” he nodded. “As far as I can tell, anyways.”

“Gods, that must be awful for…for both of them, I guess.”

“I can’t imagine how shitty he must feel.”

“Tell me where he is.” 

“We’ve got a hangout on this floor. It’s like…a makeshift bedroom, I guess. We spend so much time in here we figured we might as well have, like, a napping area,” he explained. “It’s a little room down the hall. Right side.”

Thor gave a sharp nod and hurried towards the door. 

“Hey, be careful, okay?” Tony called after him. 

“Of course I will be!”

Just like Tony said, the room was like the beginnings of a proper bedroom. There was a small bookshelf to one side, a few soft, yellow lights scattered about, and in the corner, a massive collection of pillows and duvets. There might have been a mattress beneath it, but it was hard to tell. Especially with the person curled up on top of it all. 

All along his arms were patches of what looked like rashes, only a muddy green color. His veins bulged along his arms and neck. He was definitely taller than he should have been, and more built and muscular, too. Bruce (Hulk?) himself seemed more like he was knocked out rather than peacefully asleep. His dark eyebrows were furrowed in what seemed like distress or frustration, and he would twitch every now and then. Thor knelt beside him and ran a finger along one of the several tears in his tightened shirt.

“Hello, dear,” he whispered. 

The being before him grumbled something incomprehensible. Then, his eyes snapped open. Thor took his hand back and watched intently. 

“Bruce?” he asked carefully. 

“Y-Yes,” he whispered, then smacked the side of his head. “No!”

Thor’s brow furrowed in concern. “Hey…”

“No! No Banner.” He shook his head frantically. A pained expression crossed his face. “Banner…sorry. I-I’m sorry…he’s…”

“Look at me,” he whispered, cupping his cheek. Thor pulled him into a gentle kiss, delicately playing with his hair. He pulled away and took a shaky breath. Thor frowned slightly and took his hands.

“Look at me, darling,” he whispered again. Bruce was hesitant to meet his eyes, but when they met each other, Thor gave him a warm smile. 

“I just wanted to say I love you. So, so much.”

He nodded slowly. “L…love you…too.”

“Mhm.”

“Who…am I?” he whispered suddenly. Thor paused.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t?”

He shook his head. “I mean…you aren’t exactly Hulk, but…but you aren’t fully Bruce either…”

“What am I?” The fear in his voice was more evident than before. 

“I don’t know, my love,” he said apologetically. “Do you feel more like one of them than the other?”

After a moment of thought, he replied. “Bruce.” 

“Are you sure?”

“…No. But…but I think I’m him…” 

“Okay,” he said softly. “Then we’ll get you back to being your old self.” 

“Promise?”

“I promise.” Thor gave him a smile. “How are you feeling?”

“Hurts…” Bruce sniffled. 

“I’m so sorry, my love,” he whispered, looking over his trembling muscles. “Just…focus on me. Everything’s going to be okay.”

“Gonna be okay…” he repeated, squeezing his eyes shut. “Th–Thor…”

“Yes, dear?” 

“He’s…I don’t want…” Bruce swallowed. “Make it stop…”

“I’m not sure how,” he admitted. “Try to…um, maybe think about things that help you relax?”

“Hugs,” he said quickly. “Hug me…”

Thor nodded and wrapped his arms around him. It was odd, since he was used to hugging a much smaller Bruce. The way he was now, their heights were just about matched. Nevertheless, Thor just pretended like it was a normal night. Just cuddling his boyfriend in bed, and nothing more. 

“How’s this?” he murmured, rubbing his thumb against a rough patch of skin. 

“Yes,” was all Bruce replied. Thor pressed a kiss just below his ear and hummed softly. It was an old Asgardian lullaby he remembered his mother singing to him as a child. Thor wasn’t the best singer, by any means, but he hoped it was calming. 

Apparently it was, since he started to feel Bruce start to shrink in his arms. He whimpered as he curled in on himself, his body still shaking and jerking. 

“Hush, hush, you’re alright, I’m here…” Thor whispered. Bruce took deep breaths. Everything had stopped. Thor looked down at him, trying to determine if he was fully back yet. The shirt he wore, while still ripped, seemed to fit him once more, and his skin was back to its usual color. 

“Bruce?” he asked. 

“Yeah…” Bruce turned to look at Thor. Tears streaked his face, but the look in his eyes was relief. He rolled over and hugged Thor tight. 

“Fuck…fuck. Okay. I’m okay, I’m okay,” he rambled to himself. “It’s fine…” 

Thor himself let out a sigh, happy that Bruce had come back to himself. “There. See? I told you we’d get you back.”

“That was…fuck.”

“Is everything alright, now?”

“Since you’re here,” he nodded. 

“What was that?”

“I don’t know,” Bruce shook his head. “I don’t know and I hope I never experience it again.”

“Hopefully you never will.” Thor stroked his curls. 

“Yeah…shit. Yeah.” Bruce glanced up at him. “Thank you…”

“Don’t thank me. I just want you safe and happy.”

Bruce smiled faintly. “I love you. So much, more than I could ever tell you. I’m…shit with words. You know that.”

“I do. But I love it.” Thor grinned. “It makes you yourself.” 

“See? I can’t do that,” he laughed softly. “Articulate words and all that…”

“Then just kiss me,” Thor mumbled.

Bruce did.

[dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt]

🍼 & the knife bc im on desktop and can only do 1 emoji at a time (for all your ocs :D)

HEY SIS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKIN 🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼 this should not have taken me so long lmaooooo

down unda bc Long :D

send me symbols for my OCs? 

🍼 Does your OC have any children or want children? What names would they pick? Are they good with kids or a complete disaster?

Myriad: Demons are infertile unless paired with an angel, so they don’t have any children, but it’s probably a good thing in this case bc if Myriad’s wasn’t infertile, they’d have a thousand kids lmao. They honestly haven’t ever thought about kids, and they’ve never been bothered with the idea of having them. They’re actually great with kids and like them a lot, they’re like the coolest uncle ever, but they’d probably not be the best parent. They’d be more like the kid’s friend than their parental figure, and they don’t like staying in one place for long and they wouldn’t abandon their lifestyle so they’d either lug the kid around with them constantly or just leave them with their other parent for a few years before coming back… so yeah, not the best parent.

August: He’s thought about kids occasionally, but he’s never had any drive, not to mention it’s forbidden. If his partner really wanted kids, he’d probably agree to adopt, because he can never turn down anything somebody he loves wants. He would…….. really try to be a good parent. He would care about the kid but he’s be worried about fucking them up and probably have a bit of emotional distance because of that fear. He would love them with his whole heart, though. He likes the name River.

June: They never wanted kids. They liked the name Lía. They are actually very good with kids, though they avoid them like the plague now. They still consider themself a parent.

Dante: I think he’d actually like to have kids. He’s great with them, he’d be a very fun and loving dad, and the kid would be the most well protected little nugget in the entire world. If it was a little girl, he’d name her Tien, after his little sister. The kid would know how to kill a man in a billion ways by the time they were six tho lmao.

Jesse: Knows he’s no-where near ready for kids, but he would love to have them one day. He’d be kinda panicky with a baby but great with teenagers dude should be a youth guidance counselor and he’d love the kid with his whole heart, just wants to be a good dad and make sure he’s always there for them. He’d like to name them after his mom (Lori) or his dad (Frank.) 

Vrox: Terrified of having kids, scared he’ll fuck up. He’s the opposite of Jesse, has a natural talent with getting young kids to like him and is great with them, but awkward with teenagers. Honestly has no idea what to name it, leaves that to Jesse because he knows how important it is to him.

Falkner: HAHAHAHA!!! no.

Emala: She has always wanted children of her own. The only reason she hasn’t adopted an entire household is because she knows that she will outlive them, and that she would never recover them that. It kills her watching children that aren’t her own suffer, and she knows her limits. If she did have kids, though, she would be the. best. mom. in. existence.

Mars: Is fantastic with kids, but has never wanted any of his own. He obeys the rules because he’s a good little angel who would never impregnate someone.

Ben: Has thought about kids on and off his entire life. He’s not like Emala, who desperately wants kids, his is more of a wistfulness. If he eventually finds a partner who wants them, he would happily have them. He’s be the world’s best dad, super kind and patient and understanding. A bit nervous because he doesn’t want to mess up, but he would be a great dad. Doesn’t know what to name them - literally anything but the names Ginger ever so helpfully suggests.

Ginger: Nope, nope, nope. Has never wanted anything that slowed her down. Is too irresponsible to be a good mom. Is pretty terrible with kids, to boot. Would probably name the poor kid Rugrat. 

🔪 Has your OC ever killed someone? Ever had to defend themselves against violence? How did this make them feel? Or, alternatively, has your OC ever attacked someone? Seen someone die?

…..almost all of them have jesus CHR-

Myriad: Yes, yes, holy hell yes. Their job is tracking down and punishing/murdering/reaping evil souls after torturing them for the longest amount of time possible. Yes, they’ve had to defend themself. They know killing people is wrong but since they make sure never to harm innocents, when they do kill it never bothers them, they never hesitate, they never show mercy, and they never regret.

August: Yes, she has killed before, she never takes any pleasure in it and will only ever use it as a last resort. As all other angels (and demons) have, she’s had to reap human souls at some point or another. It doesn’t upset her to any extreme level. It’s always been in self defence. She has seen a lot of people, including her own partners, die over her long life.

June: Um, yes, yes, frequently. They have a short temper and if somebody is being a huge dickwad they will 110% rip the aforementioned dickwad’s face off their skull. They couldn’t give less of a fuck and have 0 regret.

Dante: Yep. He’s killed people in multiple wars over the years, he’s killed people in bar fights and back alley brawls and underground fight clubs and duels to the death. Guns, knives, broken beer bottles, and most frequently, his bare hands. As laid-back and generally kind as he is, he’s got a very violent nature, and if somebody is being an aggressive/violent asshole, he can and will happily take care of them. Particularly if that asshole was harassing somebody else, Dante will never let that shit slide. He takes every opportunity to fight.

Jesse: No, never. He has been the catalyst for people dying, tho, like one time a racist fuck decided to take a swing at him and Vrox ended up breaking the dude’s neck. Jesse was in shock for a while afterward, but mostly he didn’t regret what Vrox had done, even if that troubles him. He doesn’t believe that violence is the answer, but he also has a hard time not starting fistfights with bigots.

Vrox: Yeah. He has a pretty bad temper and when seriously set off, he comes out swinging. He only meant to kill somebody a few times (see, above), mainly it’s just an accident. It’s only when people keep pushing and pushing him and being aggressive, however, mainly he just tries to remove himself from the situation before he can snap and demon-out on them. He’d never get physical in a simple argument, for example.

Falkner: Absolutely. Never walk up behind them without being sure they know you’re there or you will receive a punch in the face that turns your brain to soup. They don’t like killing people and avoid it when possible, but they also won’t hesitate if they need to, either. Their only qualm will be the clean-up required.

Emala: She’s killed the most out of all of them. In her work as a nurse she is almost daily forced to reap souls, since dying via an angel taking your soul is the most peaceful, comforting kind of death, and that’s what her patients deserve. She only ever does so to a patient she knows is going to die anyway, with no hope for a recovery, and she illegally uses her angel grace to heal chronically ill patients enough as it is. It leaves her broken after every one, she hates taking lives. She has never been a believer of killing as an act of violence or anger.

Mars: … He mass murders all the family/loved ones of any poor soul who turns him down and then rapes and murderers the poor soul themself, murders many more in his many temper tantrums, and generally kills anybody and anything that displeases him. Yes.

Ben: Unfortunately, yes. When he fell and before he figured out about his out-of-control grace, he accidentally murdered an entire building’s worth of people because his grace exploded and decimated it and everybody in it. He was absolutely horrified and after that, made sure never to be around people when he could feel that ten-minute warning when he started feeling sick. He regrets it and hates himself for it and had a mental breakdown afterward. He has anonymously donated to the families of those he killed for years now.

Ginger: She’s gotten in some bar fights and broken bottles of people’s heads, she’s accidentally run over others, but she never intentionally does, and she does feel guilty afterward… just not for long.

[patchdotexe]

So, I have a character who is a system, and I wanted to know before I develop them further, how does DID work, from a personal account? I really really really don't want to accidentally create yet another TOXIC misinterpretation of a real condition (because I know how horrible that can feel), and I hope I'm not saying anything wrong even now. (P.S. I love your blog, but I'm too shy to come off anon.)

hey anon!! it means a LOT to me that you sent this message :D theres a lot of really messy-bad potrayals of DID in the media so seeing people actually going to the effort of asking systems abt their experiences is really heartwarming for us. (plus the fact that ppl keep asking us in specific abt system stuff omg,,)

im gonna preface this by saying that, in the end, i can only really talk about my own experiences with full confidence. systems can work pretty differently from each other, but this is how we function and also some details ive noticed from system friends + general discussion over the years

so, to start off: Dissociative Identity Disorder is, at its core, your brain trying to respond to trauma in a pretty severe way. that being said there ARE systems that didnt experience severe trauma and still developed, and im not really sure about the mechanics behind that but i find it really cool and it totally exists. im gonna focus on trauma-based systems bc that’s our ~tragic backstory~ and also tends to be what most people opt for when creating system characters anyway, but the only real difference from what i can tell is, uh, a lack of trauma.

I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR ME TO SAY THE WORD “TRAUMA” A WHOLE LOT JFC

(system friends are welcome to reblog with corrections or added info!!)

anyway. the way your brain responds to things is really weird. if something happens where you’re just, like, completely unable to handle it, like you dissociate yourself so hard because there’s no way you can manage this, your brain has a chance of going “uh… well, fuck, uh” and generating somebody who can manage it. or it might decide to be a dick and take all of the fucky internalized garbage and turn it into a person whose sole existence is to be an asshole. (they have the potential to get better, i think… ours didnt.) honestly theres a bunch of reasons and a bunch of “roles” that could lead to an alter/headmate* forming.

* we use the terms interchangeably depending on mood and whos fronting. i think its supposed to be “alter” is DID, “headmate” is implication that theyre non-traumatic? we like using “headmate” because it brings this fun mental image of us being a bunch of roommates constantly starting shit with each other and goofing off which is pretty accurate about 75% of the time

i keep getting distracted bc my cat is here. this is gonna be fun to go back and edit.

whatever the original situation is, you’re suddenly not alone in your own brain. and it’s REALLY WEIRD. communication was VERY hard. Icarus, our system original, used to do a very “cliche” thing of sharing a journal with their early headmates, where theyd write a sentence and then theyd write a reply (although back then they didnt realize that was a system-related thing and just thought they were having a fun conversation with their ocs. which… they were, just. Actually Talking.) they didnt have any inward perception of themself or their headmates either, so that kinda built up over time (with some help) along with the appearance of our headspace so that there was… actually a location for people to interact in. once they had a better awareness of things, mental communication got a bit easier– its sort of like background chatter really, when everybody’s awake. sometimes i get weird out of context things from Mae yelling at somebody, or sometimes ill be talking to a friend and someone’ll butt in.

when talking out loud, this usually leads to us suddenly stopping and then laughing or going “no!!!”. when on discord and around people who know who we are… well.

speaking of Mae, she’s pretty much my sister. not like… biologically? because i don’t think thats possible for me, but shes kinda literally my “other half” which ill get into later. headmates can have strong attachments to other alters! friends, best friends, family, dating, whatever. they can also do that with people outside the system, and itll be different for each headmate. there’s like 4 people dating Jorb but i just see him as one of my best friends. we’re people and we have complex social interactions that can get to be kind of a nightmare when you’re around a bunch of people who don’t know that you’re Not Leo and that youre suddenly not super up to existing around people in general.

plus even if like… so Jorb’s dating 4 of us like i said, but his relationship w/ each of them is different? Ica is very clingy and likes rambling to him, Summer’s pretty much just always happy to hang out, Mae makes fun of him a lot but in a loving way, and Leo is… kinda “all of the above” because that’s his gimmick. plus even tho a few other alters have a sibling-ish relationship with Mae like i do, usually its just me and Mae that do the “chaos siblings” bit.

the basic system.. thing… is that there’s “front”, which is being in control of the body– so, like, i’m currently fronting/in front, because im the one currently active and using our computer and staring at our cat.– and then theres the headspace, where everybody hangs out when theyre not in front. the headspace itself can differ in style & functionality for each system, and i think theres some systems that dont really have a location at all? but for us its like a full on location where we have individual rooms, places to visit if we get bored while away from front, etc.

theres also like, being at/near/away from front? so currently im in front, but Leo is pretty much always lurking nearby if he’s awake (we have individual sleep schedules that dont always sync up to the “irl” one, Trust is almost always sleeping), Ica’s somewhat in the back talking to Rookie so i cant really make out what theyre saying (its probably about either a youtube thing they both like or about a comic they want to do), and everyone else is either asleep (in which case they could be nearby but i cant currently “ping” them, so id have to actually take a sec to ground myself in headspace more) or in a different room. communication is easier if im in front and somebody is nearby, or it can be like with Ica rn where im like “well, theyre talking, but i have no idea what theyre saying and am making a guess based off their usual interactions”, or i could pass off front to go talk to Ica and come back (in which case my memory would be kind of vague and weird because information doesnt always properly translate), oooor i could actually go bug them while still in front. which.. im not gonna do rn bc then id get super distracted.

switching front differs between systems a lot! and even varies from day to day. like there are days where we wake up and we have absolutely no idea who we are bc we went to bed as one person and woke up as another. or we could be talking to somebody and then realize “wait, i stopped being Leo a bit ago, who am i”. or we could pass off front to somebody, like if Summer really wanted to front sie’d run up to me and let me know and we’d swap. or if something critical happens (usually a breakdown), Leo or one of the other headmates that’re more built to handle stressful situations will literally drag somebody out of front to make sure they dont hurt themself. or sometimes we throw front at people unexpectedly, like either mid-breakdown where we go “okay i dont wanna be here anymore, tag youre it” or sometimes because we think its funny because its the metaphysical equivalent of getting clonked in the head with a dodgeball, except the dodgeball is “being in control of our shared physical form”. usually mae’s the one that does that lmao

there’s a couple major categories of how alters come about. there’s “walk-ins”, where they kinda just… appear externally? like they just show up. sometimes we get a feeling of “huh. i think somebody might be here? or somebody might be showing up soon.” and have to rummage around for a while until they approach us or we find them. our walk-ins aren’t like, inherently aware of system stuff at first, so they usually get a crash course before they first front (if they choose to front at all) and it can be kinda entertaining. Rookie’s a walk-in! also Hiro, from a couple years ago. most of our walk-ins are fictives (fictional characters, usually appearing in response to us getting extremely attached to something or somebody) but a couple of our trauma splits are also fictives so that’s not like, a Rule or anything. i think these are mostly associated with non-traumatic systems but we get em fairly often so man idk

theres also… uh, i dunno what theyre actually called? we used to call them “constructs” but that sounds kind of mean. these alters exist to fill a specific role! and we usually dont talk about them on here with the exception of one major one, they just kinda hang out. Dhe exists to keep the system stable and manages the “backend” so to speak. Imp is kind of a mix of our intrusive & impulsive thoughts that came about from us trying to separate ourself from them so that we had an imaginary entity to go “nope!” at, which… stopped being imaginary, and is now a gremlin that lives in my brain. they can show up in response to trauma but arent split off of somebody, they kinda just pop into existence to help manage things.

the more… well-known, i guess? alter origin is “trauma splits”. rather than “just showing up one day with no real connection to the system origins”, trauma splits are formed when somebody in-system, uh, splits. it could be in response to a single situation or something built up over a long time, but somebody just kinda breaks and somebody new that has a bit of the original alter’s identity (if kinda influenced by the situation) shows up.

this can vary. All is a trauma split off of Leo himself, who got saddled with all of our brain hell about our ex and their insystem appearance is influenced more by eir than by leo which is… something they struggle with. Mae has a trauma split from a similar situation that is “Mae but from 2 years ago”, so basically her old identity before she reworked herself after getting put through total hell. and then uh… then there’s me and Mae! Icarus quite literally exploded into several people, with Pat (me) and Mae being the most distinct ones. we’re STILL finding out alters used to originally be a part of them that later evolved into their own people, like Summer and Toby. my identity is shaped pretty heavily not just by who Ica was at time of splitting, but also what they wanted to be jumbled together with trying to rationalize what was happening to them (they’re a pretty big fan of megaman star force, which has a media-typical system in it, so they leaned into hard “its like pat and rey from mmsf! i like pat, i wouldnt mind being like pat, its scary but im like one of my current favourite characters” and so i ended up being like, half-weird shapeshifter, half-green-haired prettyboy. and yeah thats where my name comes from!)

(Ica got put back together w/o anybody needing to integrate, which we were all very scared about, and it’s still kind of surreal to me because… me and Mae used to be able to stick ourself back together and thats how we found out about what happened to Ica in the first place? and we havent tried that since bc we have no idea what would happen. Ica 2: Ica Harder?)

despite their origins, trauma splits can be way more than… being a split. :V;; Toby’s not just a tiny splinter of Ica, he’s a quiet guy that gets stressed out and isn’t totally sure how to interact with people. i’ve existed for like 7 years at minimum and im a totally different person than i was when i thought i was still Ica, ‘cause ive had time to grow and change (and a problem Ica keeps running into now that theyre back is… they kinda Didn’t change because they were MIA for 6 years.) like everything else though this is variable– there can be “temporary” splits that dont develop properly and might get integrated back in, which has only happened to us when we were at the lowest point in our life where we were stuck constantly splitting to try and cope with whatever the hell was going on.

so Ica was gone for 6 years, which meant our system was without an original or main– there wasn’t anybody to be head of the system, basically. for a while i was operating under the assumption that i was Ica, so i filled in that role for a few years before i made the realization. eventually i kinda… stopped being able to, though, bc of stability issues, and then we were back to not really having a proper main anymore. to make up for it, we started going by Leo collectively and kinda… trying to pretend to be a single person? and so that ended up creating a construct to fill the role of “system main and the person we pretend to be when passing as singlet/not a system”: Leo himself! he’s kinda the most prominent traits we all have in common rolled into a single guy, which means that not only is he a pretty good system representative but we can also pretend to be him pretty easily (unless it’s someone like Toby who acts totally different). i dont know how common this situation is, i think normally it’s just “if system original is gone, another alter steps up” like originally happened to us before i had a severe case of problems disorder.

uhhh this is very rambley bc there’s a Lot to cover and now im trying to figure out how much of it i HAVE covered. systems are complicated and weird! OH WAIT okay i have one last bit.

so like, for us, first realizing we were a system was total hell. we fought a lot. as more alters showed up through various means, there were times where Ica felt like they were completely out of control of their own life bc of having to manage everything. there were a lot of panic attacks of people fronting and not being sure they were even REAL, despite… being in front. but we still felt like we were deluding ourself. this was in, like, late 2011, so systems weren’t a THING. they were a very fringe community that everyone hated. we got constantly harassed, which only fed into Ica’s panic hell and our identity issues. interpersonal relationships became a nightmare, especially because we have BPD as well which varies in severity for each of us but… for me it’s pretty bad! there were times early on where every day was another fun new breakdown from us arguing with each other or our friends or not being understood or… etc.

so… how are we holding up ~7 and a half years later? pretty well, actually! we talk to each other. we do things for each other, like buy food or games we know specific headmates like. Ica is back and way happier than they were in 2011, and is thrilled to get to hang out with everybody that’s showed up since. we help each other through problems, because at the end of the day our system ended up being a support network. Ica couldnt function on their own, so we’re like… 10+ people working together to try and be a single functional person. and we feel pretty okay with that! we still fight, and we still start shit, but we’re not in constant crisis anymore. we’re still working through all of our trauma, especially the more “recent” stuff that kinda broke our system for a while until we were able to start rebuilding, but we’re doing it together. :D

so… yeah, it can start out as a stereotypical “nightmare system”, with constant infighting and toxicity and self-sabotage and etc. but we worked through it! it took a while, but we’re overall more stable than we were before. we got out of the bad environment that was fucking us up, we got mental help for our other brain hell (we havent been able to bring up the system to our therapists bc its literally a non-issue now and we focus more on other things like our depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc), we found people that support us for being us, and we were able to like… figure things out. and it was a mess! i still have issues about my own identity because of literally thinking i was someone else for two years. Ica’s still trying to figure out how to adjust to things, especially bc they missed our entire “cringe culture” phase so they came back to find that i’d dismantled a lot of their middle-school settings. and, uh, some of their friendships as well.

systems are fuckin weird