#ilove them both tho <3

[sheshepherd]

so what did y'all name scara? i named him blorbo and everytime i see him i just 🥺

also i don't think i've seen a redemption arc quite like his in newer media and it's so good. him, nahida, and the traveller being the only people who actually remembers (we can't say abt paimon bc yknow... she's paimon)

this is me begging for the story quest now

also spare kaeya & wandered interactions please i'd love that spicy interaction

[beegomess]

ILOVE YOU MATHEO FANFICS!!! And your Theo ones omg they're so cute and make me smile every time I see them!! Could you do something like this? If you want to of course!

It's like in Brookline nine nine where Jake and Amy have that bet where whoever gets the most arrests by the end of the year get to make the other do whatever they want.

• what if Matty boy or Theo (ether is good Matty would be my pick tho! Or if you like the prompt you could do one for each <3 ) and the reader had a bet about who could get the best marks on a test or something like that.

• And he wins and they make you go on "the worst date ever"

• like Jake made Amy in BNN. But like Jake that's when he realize his feelings for the reader.

Supper fluffy and cute!! Rivals/friends to lovers !

Love ya!!

M.R. || Real love baby

Summary: When a boy pulls a girl's hair, it usually means something more than he actually admits. Warnings: none. A/N: This came out faster than usual because I simply LOVE Jake and Amy. I really hope it met your expectations, I'm delighted with how I was able to construct this text.🫶🏼

Open orders!

The friendship between you and Mattheo has always been a roller coaster of jokes, provocations and, occasionally, a latent feeling of competitiveness. His blood boiled when he mocked every time a teacher caught his attention, and you reciprocated in the same coin, turning each slip of his into a reason for laughter. These exchanges never went unnoticed, and the common room often echoed with the barbs exchanged between the two of you.

What began as childish games, however, now seemed to gain a different meaning. In the sixth year, the provocations were no longer seen as mere mischief. Their friends, who used to watch from afar, began to observe them with insightful eyes, full of insinuations, as if they saw something you had not yet realized. What was once just an exchange of innocent barbs, now seemed to have a background of palpable tension, almost as if there was something else behind the debauched smiles and defiant looks.

You had grown up. And, over time, new interests have emerged. However, the fun of seeing the other angry for any insignificant reason still aroused an almost childish satisfaction in both. The adrenaline of a small triumph, no matter how small it was, was addictive. And, to your surprise, that night in the communal room would seal a new phase of this dynamic between you.

I was sitting with Theodore, discussing his grades from the previous year. Both were always the best in the class, and there was no more fun in competing with each other. Someone who really challenged his abilities was missing, someone from another house, maybe. But before they could continue the conversation, a familiar voice interrupted their thoughts.

- What are you talking about? - Mattheo appeared, sitting on the sofa in front, his curious expression, almost as if he was sniffing the opportunity to get into the conversation.

You sighed, rolling your eyes. I knew he wouldn't miss the chance to participate.

- We were regretting the lack of a competitor to match - said Theodore, with a convinced air that only served to fuel Mattheo's interest.

- Competitor? - Mattheo frowned, looking genuinely confused, before opening a malicious smile. - Oh, this nonsense of those who get the best grades, isn't it? Well, your problems are over, because the opponent you're looking for is right here.

His laugh was automatic and loud. Mattheo's idea as an academic threat seemed, to say the least, absurd. Theodore also let out a discreet laugh, and Mattheo looked at them with a mixture of challenge and frustration.

- Oh, please, Matty, don't make me laugh. - you said between laughs, barely able to catch your breath.

- I'm serious - he replied, his voice getting softer as his eyes met yours. - Come on, are you so afraid of losing to me?

You narrowed your eyes, trying to keep your composure. The game was getting interesting.

- Afraid of you? - you replied, raising your chin with confidence. - You won't even come close to reaching me, Riddle.

A glow of determination appeared in his eyes, and you knew that from that moment on he was committed. But before he could answer, Pansy, who was watching from afar with a mischievous smile, intruded.

- Bet on a date at the end of classes - she suggested, her voice full of malice. - Whoever loses will have to do what the other wants for one night.

You blinked, surprised by the audacity of the suggestion, but before you could protest, Theodore was already agreeing, a sideways smile on his face.

- Great idea - he murmured, clearly having fun with the situation.

Mattheo didn't waste time. He stretched out his hand with a provocative smile.

- Closed. Get ready for the worst date of your life.

Without hesitation, you shook his hand, sealing the agreement. He knew he was getting into a potentially embarrassing situation, but he also trusted that, as much as Mattheo could be merciless in his provocations, he would never do anything to really hurt or humiliate her. It was a bet, yes, but one that came with a layer of mutual trust.

From that day on, your destiny was sealed. The "meeting" was already a reality, all that remained was to define who would dictate the rules. A part of you longed for the challenge, while another, more cautious, began to wonder if you hadn't underestimated Mattheo.

[...]

The weeks that followed showed that you had, in fact, underestimated Mattheo.

In the first days after the bet, you treated the challenge carefree, almost mocking the idea that he could do well. Mattheo was always the type of student who killed classes, glued to the exams and, in the end, counted on the good will of the teachers to pass the year. However, something has changed.

In recent months, teachers' conversations about Mattheo have started to surprise you. They no longer talked about their lack of discipline, but about their potential. They said he was finally showing how smart he was - something that, in fact, you already knew, but that he never made a point of demonstrating.

Mattheo, who used to seem uninterested, now really studied. Their furtive glances and provocations during classes seemed to hide a new, almost disturbing determination. Every time he raised his hand to answer a question or hit a complicated question, you felt the pressure increase. He was, against all expectations, taking it seriously.

And, little by little, you realized that maybe you were facing an opponent much more prepared than you imagined.

The months passed like a gale, each day bringing with it new provocations and challenges. The agreement, which initially seemed like an innocent joke, had turned into a real war of nerves. Both maintained a serious posture in class, but behind this facade, the tension was visible with each exchange of glances. No opportunity was wasted for a sharp comment, and the friends around had already gotten used to the constant clash between you.

The whole year was a fierce dispute, with comparative grades right after each class, always followed by sarcastic laughter and subtle provocations. In the first weeks, you laughed at Mattheo's attempt to keep up, making a point of spreading rumors among the girls who met him in the library. With a mischievous smile on your lips, you whispered:

- They say that Mattheo Riddle is looking for a girlfriend. He's been spending more time in the library than anywhere else, he must be trying to impress someone.

The giggles echoed through the common room, and in a short time, the rumor ran loose through the corridors of Hogwarts. The result? The library, which used to be a place of concentration and silence, became a battlefield. Girls appeared unexpectedly around Mattheo, curious to know if there was any truth in the rumors. He, visibly irritated, cast looks of disapproval in his direction, knowing very well where that chaos had come from.

On the other hand, he didn't leave it cheap. Knowing that his weak point was concentration, Mattheo took revenge in a calculated way. Whenever you isolated yourself in a corner of the library to study in peace, he appeared, casually, and started a loud conversation, talking about the most random and uninteresting subjects, but enough to divert your attention. Not satisfied, he began to launch provocative comments whenever he passed by you, as if he were talking to himself:

- Oh, how I love to see the despair of those who are afraid of losing a bet.

Or even:

- I heard that some people can't study under pressure... what a shame.

Not to mention the colleagues who suddenly came to ask silly questions or break their silence, clearly instigated by Mattheo. You knew he was behind each of these little sabotages. The environment that was once his refuge for study had become unbearable. Wherever you went, it seemed that Mattheo was always there, ready to disrupt his plans.

In the weeks of tests, the tension intensified. The psychological war continued, and now, everyone used their tricks with precision. The librarian had already lost patience with both of you, and more than once you were reprimanded for "disturbing the study environment". But nothing seemed to be able to interrupt the dispute. You were tied, each test being decided by tenths, sometimes with him in front, sometimes with you.

And then, the last test of the year arrived. It was from Feitiços, one of the most challenging subjects and also the one that both knew could seal the fate of the bet. The room was tense that morning, with the students silent, nervous, frantically reviewing their notes. Mattheo sat in the row in front of his, and before the teacher entered, he turned around, throwing a malicious smile in his direction.

- Ready to lose? Should I reserve the night for your punishment? - he whispered, his tone soft, but loaded with provocation.

You raised an eyebrow, returning the smile with a sparkle in your eyes.

- I hope you've already chosen your worst outfit, Riddle. I don't want it to seem like a complete disaster on our "date".

He laughed softly, shaking his head before turning around. The game was about to end, and they both knew it. Every word exchanged, every defiant look, everything had led to that moment.

When the teacher finally came in and distributed the scrolls, the silence in the room became absolute. The sound of feathers sliding on the paper was the only thing that was heard. Each second seemed to last an eternity while you wrote your answers with determination, maximum concentration. There was no room for mistakes.

From time to time, you noticed Mattheo moving in front of you, but refused to look away for more than a second. I knew that any distraction now could be expensive. When the test finally came to an end, you let out a sigh of relief. But the tension was still in the air. All that was left was to wait for the result.

In the weeks that followed, the provocations did not stop. Mattheo was confident, always making insinuating comments about what he would do if he won the bet. On the other hand, you kept your posture firm, not showing a shred of nervousness.

- Don't worry, Mattheo. I'm sure you'll love to fulfill your part of the agreement. - you said, without ever letting out the anxiety that grew as the day of the delivery of the notes approached.

When the notes were posted on the board, Mattheo's heart accelerated, but he kept his expression confident. You approached soon after, and when you saw the minimal difference between the notes, your heart sank. Mattheo had won. He had taken the best grade, but by such a small margin that it even seemed like a whim of fate. You, who until then had maintained a calm posture, could not avoid an expression of disbelief.

Next to him, Mattheo let out a loud, triumphant laugh. He looked up, as if he had won a great battle.

- I said! - he exclaimed, drawing the attention of everyone around. - I said I was going to win!

He was not satisfied with the silent victory. No, Mattheo wanted everyone to know that he had won the bet. You closed your eyes for a moment, trying to compose yourself while he turned on his heels, laughing as if he had just won Hogwarts' most desired trophy.

- Oh, I can't wait to see this! - Mattheo provoked, approaching you with a mischievous smile. - I hope you enjoyed losing, because now the night is all mine.

You just rolled your eyes, knowing that he wouldn't miss the chance to make the bet worth every penny. Mattheo wasn't content to just win; he needed to make it a show.

[...]

In the afternoon after Mattheo's victory, he and Theodore walked through the busy streets of the Diagonal Street, in search of the perfect piece for the "date" that Mattheo had planned. The sun was high, and the sound of the conversations of the wizards around filled the air. Mattheo, with a malicious smile on his face, was eager to turn the bet into an embarrassing and memorable situation for you. Theodore, next to him, watched him in silence, waiting for the right moment to pull the conversation that was clearly stuck in Mattheo's mind.

- I think this store will do. - said Mattheo, pointing to a window that displayed a collection of exaggeratedly colorful and extravagant clothes. It was the kind of store that didn't care about following trends, but about being the center of attention. Exactly what he was looking for.

When they entered, the environment was even more absurd than the showcase suggested. There were dresses with giant ruffles, shiny capes and hats that almost touched the ceiling. Mattheo took a quick turn, his eyes dancing between the most ridiculous pieces.

- She'll hate it. - he said, holding a pink dress with golden details and voluminous ruffles. - Perfect!

Theodore, with his arms crossed and an ironic smile, watched as Mattheo looked for more options. He knew his friend was having fun with that, but there was something else. There was always something more when it came to Mattheo and you.

- You know, you're trying too hard for this, don't you think? - Theodore commented, casually, while leaning against the store counter.

Mattheo let out a chuckle, without taking his eyes off his clothes.

- I'm trying hard to make sure she's embarrassed. That was the bet. She knew what she was getting into.

Theodore arched an eyebrow, still watching him carefully. He let Mattheo continue for a few more minutes, before deciding it was time to deepen the conversation.

- Right, right... - Theo said, in a carefree tone. - But... why are you so looking forward to it? I mean, it's just a bet. It seems that you are spending more time and money than you should.

Mattheo stopped for a moment, holding a ridiculous piece of clothing in his hands, but didn't answer immediately. His expression, for a brief moment, showed doubt. He looked at Theo, a little annoyed.

- I just want to make sure she learns not to underestimate a Riddle - he finally replied with a forced smile.

Theodore didn't buy the excuse. He took a few steps, approaching Mattheo, and lowered his voice, in a more serious tone.

- Or you really like her... - Theo shot, bluntly, while watching his friend's reaction.

Mattheo frowned immediately, dropping the dress in a macaw next to him.

- You're delirious, Nott. That has nothing to do with liking her. It's just... fun. A bet, remember?

But Theodore, undisturbed, just shrugged.

- Of course, of course. It's just a bet - he said, with sarcasm in his voice. - But let's think a little... You spent the whole year teasing her, Mattheo. Calling her attention in every possible way. He told girls to talk to her just to annoy her, he did everything to disrupt her studies, and now... he's personally choosing the most ridiculous outfit he can get for this date.

Mattheo turned around, crossing his arms and staring at Theo with a closed expression.

- And what's wrong with that? - he countered, defensively.

Theo took a few more steps, now closer to Mattheo.

- What's up with that? - he repeated, shaking his head with a smile. - You spent hours thinking about it, Mattheo. Hours. For someone who says it's just a bet, you're spending a lot of time on it. That's not just fun, Mattheo. Admitting that won't kill you.

Mattheo clenched his fists for a moment, clearly frustrated with the direction of the conversation. He wanted to deny it. He wanted to laugh at Theodore's face and say that it was absurd. But the words got stuck in the throat.

Theo, realizing his friend's discomfort, gave another accurate blow.

- How much time have you spent thinking about how to provoke her this year? And how many times have you done this because, deep down, you didn't want her to move away? - Theo let out a low laugh and shook his head. - All this, Mattheo, all these provocations... were just an excuse. An excuse to stay close to her, to ensure that she kept noticing you.

Mattheo snorted, trying to ignore the truth in Theodore's words. He took another piece of clothing, trying to divert the focus from the conversation.

- You don't know what you're talking about, Nott - he said, harshly, but his voice didn't have the same firmness as before.

Theo approached again, now with a softer smile.

- I know exactly what I'm talking about. And, deep down, you also know. - He took one last look at the ridiculous dress that Mattheo was holding and sighed, as if he was accepting something inevitable. - But it's okay. Keep pretending it's just a bet. I just hope you realize what's really going on before it's too late.

With that, Theodore walked away, leaving Mattheo alone with his thoughts and the clothes he had chosen. The silence that followed in the store seemed to weigh more than before. Mattheo stood there for a few seconds, staring at the dress in his hands, but his mind was elsewhere. Theo's words reverberated in his head, and for the first time, he wondered if the bet wasn't just an excuse to hide what he felt all the time.

[...]

The next morning, Mattheo seemed to have completely buried Theodore's words. His provocation was the same as always, but maybe with an extra touch of sarcasm. The most ridiculous costume he could find was carefully left at his door, wrapped in an almost solemn way. The box, with a dark green bow, seemed to mock you. Despite knowing exactly what was inside, you spent the day ignoring it, leaving the package untouched next to the door while trying to keep your head busy with anything other than the "date" that would happen later.

The provocations between you continued throughout the day, as if everything was normal. Mattheo seemed to have fun every time their eyes met, and you just rolled your eyes, determined to pretend that nothing would happen. But as the day progressed, reality began to weigh on you. There was no way to avoid it anymore.

When the sun finally set, you knew it was time to face the challenge. With a heavy sigh, he took the wrapping from the door, already feeling the weight of the humiliation that was to come. The contents of the box did not disappoint. The pink dress was a freak, with a huge golden bow that adorned her back, so exaggerated that it looked more like a gift wrapping than a piece of clothing. The voluminous skirt gave the impression that you were ready for an 80s debutante ball, and the boots... Oh, the boots were a monstrosity. Black and worn, with a low and clumsy heel that did not match at all with the rest of the set.

Resigned, you dressed up the best you could. Your hair, at least, was beautiful, and you decided that, if you were going to be ashamed, the least you could do was keep your dignity intact. She went downstairs to the communal room, where some of her friends were already waiting for her, evidently curious to see the disaster that Mattheo had planned.

- This is a nightmare - you grumbled, as you approached, without trying to disguise your frustration. - After that, I can forget about getting any boyfriend.

Pansy laughed softly, covering her mouth with her hand, while Blaise and Theo exchanged complicit glances. Mattheo, who was standing next to the fireplace, couldn't contain a laugh.

- Oh, go, don't be dramatic. - Mattheo said, with a glint of amusement in his eyes. - I guarantee that, after today, you will be the most talked about person in Hogwarts.

You crossed your arms, trying to maintain dignity, although you knew you were already lost.

- Spoken for the wrong reasons, maybe - you replied, your voice loaded with sarcasm.

Mattheo just laughed more, taking a step forward.

- Come on, come down soon. We don't have all night. - He made a theatrical gesture with his hand, indicating that you should come closer.

When you finally came up completely, the muffled laughter began. His friends, no matter how loyal they were, couldn't help it. Pansy and Daphne covered their mouths to try to hide how much fun they were having, while Theo and Blaise watched with the looks of those who knew that it was an unmissable show. But the most surprising was Mattheo's reaction. He stopped for a moment, his lips curving in a smile, but his eyes... Well, his eyes seemed surprised.

Even with all that ridiculous outfit, you could still look beautiful, which clearly disarmed you for a brief second. The dress, as absurd as it was, highlighted the curve of her waist and the delicate features of her face. And, for a thousandth of a second, Mattheo forgot the real goal of the bet.

But he soon recovered, shaking his head and returning to the carefree and provocative attitude.

- Well, well... - he said, crossing his arms and tilting his head to observe you better. - I think a detail is missing.

Before you could ask what he meant, Mattheo took something from behind him and extended it towards him. A track, similar to those of Miss Universe, but with an inscription that made her stomach turn: "Mattheo Riddle is amazing".

You looked at him, incredulous.

- You can only be joking - you murmured, but Mattheo kept smiling, swinging the banner in the air as if it were a prize.

- Come on, you can't miss it. This is part of the agreement. - He insisted, his eyes shining with malice.

- That wasn't in the agreement - you replied, with narrow eyes, but you knew it would be useless to argue.

Mattheo just laughed and extended the band.

- Oh, but it was you who said I could choose whatever I wanted. And now I want everyone to know how amazing I am. - He winked, clearly having fun at the expense of his indignation.

With a sigh, you took the band and reluctantly put it on the dress. It was the height of ridicule, but when he looked at Mattheo, he realized that, as much as he was having fun, there was something more in his eyes. Something beyond provocation.

- Now, make a turn for everyone to see - he ordered, with a mischievous smile.

You rolled your eyes, but turned on your heels, feeling the huge bow hit your back, while the muffled laughter around echoed through the room. Mattheo applauded in an exaggerated way, as if you were at a fashion show.

- Perfect! - he said, laughing, and approached, putting an arm around his shoulders. - And now, let's enjoy this unforgettable night.

And so, you left for Três Vassouras, where Mattheo had scheduled everything. The songs, the dances, even the places where they would sit. His friends, of course, went together, ready to watch every second of this show, but, as much as Mattheo's plan was going to embarrass you, the truth was that while you walked next to him, something seemed different. Maybe it was the way he looked at you, or the fact that, as ridiculous as the situation was, you were about to have more fun than you ever imagined.

When you arrived at Três Vassouras, the environment was full of life, with laughter and conversations filling the air. But as soon as they passed through the door, the bar seemed to stop for a moment. All eyes turned to you, as if you had just witnessed a scene worthy of a comedy play. Your exaggerated pink dress, with your voluminous skirt and the golden bow on the back, made you look like a clumsy doll. And next to it, Mattheo, dressed in a gigantic tuxedo, with his sleeves and pants folded up in an almost comical way, didn't help improve the situation.

The laughter echoed around, and you felt your face burn with shame. People whispered, pointed and laughed shamelessly. You tried to hide the discomfort, but you felt everyone's gaze as if you were on a stage, exposed in a way you never imagined. Mattheo, on the other hand, seemed impassive, with a malicious smile on his lips as he walked next to him to the table at the back of the bar, completely ignoring the reactions around him.

You cast an angry look at his disproportionate tuxedo, muttering something low.

- That was... a creative choice, at least - you commented, still trying to adapt to the situation.

He shrugged, fixing the exaggerated collar.

- It's all part of the show, princess.

As much as you were angry, you ended up laughing at the situation, especially when the buttery beers arrived. The sweet and creamy drink, as always, brought a little warmth and relief to the discomfort, and before you knew it, your friends were already around, laughing and pulling you to dance.

At first, he hesitated. She was too ridiculous to move, but the lightness of the jokes and the excitement of the night began to weigh more than the embarrassment. Soon, you were in the middle of the track, spinning and laughing with Pansy, Draco and the others. Each sip of buttery beer made the dress look less absurd, and the music helped to forget the looks around. Suddenly, it didn't matter anymore that I was dressed like a party cake. Only the fun and the shared laughter mattered.

While you danced, forgotten about the initial shame, Mattheo, from afar, watched with a different expression. He was leaning against the counter, a beer in his hand, but he barely touched it. Instead, his eyes were fixed on you, the way he moved carefree, laughing and spinning to the sound of the music. He didn't realize the exact moment when he stopped thinking all that was a joke.

Theodore's words, said the day before, echoed in his mind. At that moment, inside the store, he had vehemently denied any feeling. But now, seeing you so at ease, with a genuine smile on your face, the provocations and games seemed distant. All he could do was watch you, as if it was the first time he really noticed how much you enchanted him.

The time they spent provoking each other, the jokes, the competitions... all this was dissolving in Mattheo's mind as he looked at you that night. Theodore was right, he noticed. Maybe all that would have been an excuse, a way to disguise what he had been feeling all the time.

And now, with you dancing and laughing so freely, he couldn't pretend anymore. The smile he showed to others was always a mask, but at that moment, looking at you, he felt something real. A slight tightness in his chest that he couldn't ignore.

Without realizing it, Mattheo let out a deep sigh. It was no longer a matter of provoking or winning bets. There was something else there, something he hadn't been able to admit even to himself.

And, for the first time, he stopped fighting against that.

Damn, he really fell in love with you.

____________________________

masterlist xoxo, bee🫶🏼✨

[sanjisboyfie]

one piece smau: married to franky edition

ー franky def a chronic emoji user

liked by frankys.favorite, dni_nami, and 9k others

SUPERLOVER: i love treating my husband out for dinner hes my entire world 😍🥰❤️💘

tagged: frankys.favorite

dni_nami: this is what i mean when i say get urself a man w money bc wdym u managed a res at this fancy ass restaurant ????

uso_pp: so this is what u skipped boys night for 🙄🙄🙄

-> roro.zoro: at ur grown age...

-> freeluffy: WHAT DO U MEAN BT THAT ZORO

-> SUPERLOVER: NO ILOVE U GUYS STILL BUT I LOVE MY HISBAND MORE

[liked by frankys.favorite, dni_nami, ans 90 others]

frankys.favorite: i love u sm handsome

-> SUPERLOVER: hehehe (//∇//)

liked by SUPERLOVER, freeluffy, and 10k others

frankys.favorite: best details about my husband

tagged: SUPERLOVER

SUPERLOVER: YOU CAN PUT AS MANY STICKERS ON MY TITTIES AS U WANT BBYBOY I LOVE YOU 😫😫😫🫶🏼🤭🤭😻🤖🤖🤖

-> frankys.favorite: 😭😭

-> robinkills: i need u to restrict the usage of emojis on your phone. its getting insane.

dni_nami: whyd i get frankys whole ass tit on my tl bruh

uso_pp: imma bite that 🤭🤭🤭

-> SUPERLOVER: [name]'s done this several times and ive yet to feel anything 😎

-> uso_pp: ayo????

princesanji: a hello kitty tattoo is crazy

-> frankys.favorite: ur def the type to have cinnamoroll tattooed on ur hipbone dont even try it

liked by robinkills, iceburg, and 10k others

dni_nami: literally told these two to not set off the fireworks and look at them kissing it up. absolutely shameless.

tagged: SUPERLOVER and frankys.favorite

frankys.favorite: what do u mean it was a great light show namiii

-> SUPERLOVER: I MUST AGREE IUR FIREWORKS SHOW WAS SUPPPPERRRR BEAUTIFUL

-> dni_nami: no. it was SUPERRRR disruptive for the whole street

SUPERLOVER: look at my handsome baby. his pretty face👻👻

-> roro.zoro: ur emoji selections r always so unsettling

princesanji: their marraige was a match made in heaven w the way they both are constantly ruining everyone elses night

[liked by SUPERLOVER, frankys.favorite, and 90 others]

liked by SUPERLOVER, dni_nami, and 13k others

frankys.favorite: get urself a buff man like mine holyyyy shiitttt

tagged: SUPERLOVER

SUPERLOVER: GET YOURSELF A SEXY MAN LIKE MINE HEHEHE 🫸🏼🫷🏼i love u so much

-> frankys.favorite: ❤️

uso_pp: NOOO WHEN U TWO START THIRSTING FOR EACH OTHER U DONT EVER FUCKING STOPPPP

-> dni_nami: time to mute the both of them

freeluffy: i wonder how someone so old like franky is able to keep his body so muscley

-> SUPERLOVER: im not even that old luffy what the fuck

-> freeluffy: ur like 50

-> frankys.favorite: hes 36????

-> freeluffy: same thing!!! :DDD

roro.zoro: how the fuck r u shaped like a dorrito

-> SUPERLOVER: i was crafted by the hands of my lover and molded into be the perfect man for him.

-> roro.zoro: FOR FUCKS SAKE.

liked by frankys.favorite, dni_nami, uso_pp, and 11k others

SUPERCOLA: finally was able to take my baby out to get him a new car 🏁🚙

tagged: frankys.favorite

frankys.favorite: thank u sm EVEN THO I TOLD U MULTIPLE TIMES U DIDNT HAVE TO but thank u so much i love u

-> SUPERLOVER: of course YOURE MY NUMBER ONE RIDE OR DIE i need to show u how much i love u 💍 i wish i could buy more than this because you deserve so much more my love

[liked by uso_pp, robinkills, and 200 others]

robinkills: this is crazy. but i love it for u two, absolute sweethearts

uso_pp: what about me franky 🥺🥺🥺

freeluffy: i wanr a car too franky 🥺🥺🥺

ttchopper: i want my own car too franky 🥺🥺🥺

frankys.favorite's story

me n my husband vs the world <3

SUPERLOVER replied to your story: u rlly had the time to snap a pic after all we did last night??? ur crazy and ily

[spiderziege]

haiii!!! ilove your art and ocs :] can you tell us more about them? they seem really cool <33

thank you... i always feel a little bad when i get questions about my ocs cause i dont really know how to answer those all that well, but ill do my best <3 the gist of it is its a story about a group of teens/young adults in some small rural german town, and slowly that town comes alive in a way. as in the streets change over night, windmills and powerlines grow out of nowhere and all the streets that lead away become longer and longer until its basically impossible to leave. its kind of a regular coming of age story about these five people, but set in a small town horror setting i guess? ill put some random stuff about each of them in order under the cut :]

first one is Lucky, she grows up on her families farm on the edge of town, and she's the youngest of five siblings. she's kind of a loner by the start, mostly cause she has this constant need to prove herself to everyone and everything and so she wants to do things on her own, always. she's very intelligent and determined in everything she does and also very interested in everything supernatural. her and louis only somewhat know each other by the start, but they click and become good friends pretty quickly. mostly cause louis is very willing to go along with everything she does. she's very energetic and almost always at 120%, and she does care deeply for the people she ends up close to. she also has a dog who is very mean

Louis grows up with his mother and his brother, his mom owns a small café in town and also does fortune telling and readings (though she might also be scamming people, nobody knows for sure). he works there as a cashier/waiter, but really he wants to get out of the town, even before the weird stuff starts happening. he's quiet and more of a thinker, but very straightforward when necessary. he's had very frequent nightmares since he was a little kid

Maurice is Luckys half-brother. him and Louis were friends when they were young kids, but they grew apart after one of their mutual friends died in an accident that they both witnessed (louis barely remembers it, maurice mostly does). he's only really close with one of his other sisters, and with the local veterinarian Dani. apart from that he avoids most people. he's very good with animals tho. he's also not exactly religious but he is spiritual, if that makes sense

Elias is Louis' best friend since forever and also the most easygoing person in the entire world probably. he works at a local gas station and he can fix your car. he's kind of the opposite to Lucky in the way that she's very intelligent and determined but kind of sucks at connecting with people, and he's a lot less academically gifted but very emotionally intelligent. he's just a very good friend. also he loves skating and is a bit of a theater kid. he's very scared of dogs which is bad for him cause most of his friends are dog people

Henrike is Elias' twin sister. she and Louis dated for a while in high school, which didn't really work out but they're still good friends. she's a lot more reserved than her brother but she's mostly kind. very dry humour. only occasionally has her mean moments (usually when she's with louis, they kind of bring out the worst in each other. they love gossiping and bitching about others every once in a while its very necessary)

[nyctoaerah]

hi sweetiee! <3 ILOVED that Gojo x non-sorcerer reader.(I cried a lot and I want to again in part 2)

I felt bad for reader... I thibk Gojo regretted because he "gained" his old friend in his mind but he lost his lover. I'm afraid reader won't get better because Gojo did terrible things to her and even though he regrets it, what's done is done.

I feel that reader will die in part 2 because I would wanted to die if I were her... I cant even think about living with another's face appearance..

I'm looking forward to part 2 if you will write <33

⋆♱⋆Reminiscent

SKSKSKX HI POOKIE🫶🏻🫶🏻 🫶🏻 AND YEAH, there's no saving reader now, because she’s technically brainwashed to believe that she’s suguru & she can”t even think for herself ‘cause of Gojo’s influence and gaslighting and manipulation🤧

but on part 2,but then i might just kill her but it’d be euthanasia yk? Cause technically, she's suffering (mentally and physically). But i doubt it, maybe i’ll kill her, or maybe not;). But fr tho, i’d literally cry and kms if i’m at her place💀💀

But still, both of them r victims:( the reader is a victim of Gojo, while Gojo is a victim of his own delusions and desperation+ he has mental illnesses (that doesn’t mean that his actions should be justified though) poor baby is just so desperate to have his bestfriend again to the point that he forgot about his lover and he was blinded by his delusions

But RAHHAHS ON PART 2 I’LL SHOW MORE OF HER EXPERIENCES WITH GOJO AS SUGURU😼👌🏻

I’m glad that you loved it though, And i’m glad that i tugged on your heartstrings babe>.<

DON'T MIND ME MAKING MY ANSWERS LOOK AESTHETIC LMFAO

[yourlocalbait]

Im really reallyb drunk rn lkike 5beeeeers deeps but but i shuld tell him i miss him nd ilov him

Ineed to tell all 3 of them that i car abt them nd i miss thwmbuttttt

But myroommate told me not to but i do. I miss them. Imiss what we had i missfalling asleep in hiz arms i miss listening to him talk abt silly little thingss likewarriorcatz or his newest skyrrim oc or just his newest fursona or of thefurrsuit he was workin on

I misstalking to him about our partnershow much we loved both oof them how much we were excited to spend time wth each of them when thy visted.

Imissfalinng asleep inhis arms even tho i kneww we onlyhad a few hours lefft. Nowwwe culd haveas muchtime as we waaangted buti went and fuckedddd itall up. Its not what i meant i didnt mean ittt i still lovveyou.

Plese if u see this please.letss jsut. Forgetnit happeened. Forgeti sedwhatisaid and we can llove again anditwould be like it mever happened and i can kiss yu and hear u laugh again. Godilove your laugh so mmuccgh

Iknow youve probly moved on and youtry to stop thinkin abt me buti miss you. Ifeel so lonely. And i fucking miss spending everymonday and tuesday with you saying stupid jokes and doing srupid bits at each other. Please.

I miisss yourvoice your touch your scent your face. I miss the way you mever greeted me with silence. I miss how you were always willing to hear me out. To listen ttgo what i had to say.

Im aorry im like thisz a broken person but i can be better,, i just ccantdo it alonne

[with-the-same-tattoos]

what do you think brahms + loud n vincent + jonesy encounter would b like tho????? i know they're incredibly different from one another, personality + location wise, but like, i like to think that brahms would end up falling into vin's influence of music bcs of the whole "metal and classical music have a lot in common and their listeners as well" thing

O-oh........ anon u are BRILLIANT iLOV U..... PLUS.... THESE TWO, very two big fluffy cozy sweater men, hanging out, being fuzzy and good, beautiful!!!! Yes. I'm absolutely in love w this idea.

To me they're both a little socially awkward, (at least a little) (I don't think that it's a surprise when it comes to Brahms) (but I also see Vincent as socially incompitent when he isn't more relaxed / in his natural enviroment). Which is honestly a very fun dynamic !!! Vincent being the slightly more compitent one trying to bring in normalcy and Brahms being the slightly more awkward but also restrained one?

(Kinda similiar to what I'm talking abt w Nubbins & Vincent, expect Nubbins would be the type to bring full chaos, Brahms is way more reserved)

I think they'd have a lot in common in general !!!! I BET Vincent reads some old gothic novels and poetry. And same goes for Brahms. I can absolutely see them very quietly mumbling in the corner and like, geeking over some obscure 1800s book in that way where, they're too embarrassed to like act as exited as they are but they're both getting all jittery and "hahahahaha u like this too??? Omg thats so cool ive never met anyone else who likes this too ahaahahahah" (while neither of them rarely meet people at all)

The music thing too definetly!!!!! Brahms being a little reserved in the beginning but then he lets the angst in and listens to some proper metal and actually gets hella into it <3

ALSO HAHA YES JONESY AND LOUD HANGING OUT IS VERY GOOD sorry im out here focusing on thinking abt socially awkward people making friends instead of going out and making friends myself 💖

It would be a vwrym.... quiet encounter. Fuzzy.

[cover-your-ears]

Rules: You can tell a lot about someone by the type of music they listen to. Hit shuffle on your iPhone, iPod, iTunes, media player, etc. and write down the first 20 songs. Then pass this on to some people. One rule: no skipping. Tagged by @themwhiskers

LISTEN. I ALREADY DID THIS TWICE. And I'M TIRED tumblr keeps DELETING IT so I'M - just going to start thank u for tagging me ilove you you ruined my life.

1- Koukai no Uta・Sayuri

J-Rock is very very good. I just dont know a lot of it.

2- when the party is over・Billie Eilish

3- Crash・Neovaii

Perfect for imaginary music videos while looking through the window of a car.

4- Dissolve・Absofacto

5- Louder than bombs・BTS

i put pink dots on songs that i fins nostalgic, and even tho this came out like, a month ago??? two? it still feels so... powerful.

6- Honeymoon Avenue・Ariana Grande

7- HIP・MAMAMOO

SLAPS. Red is for songs that BEAT ME TO DEATH AND THEN SPIT ON ME AND I THANK THEM.

8- BOOM・NTC DREAM

The beatdrop leave is exactly what i want, and leaves me wanting more. Unfair, I love it.

9- Eastside・benny blanco

10- Only 1・Ariana Grande

I have exactly two Yours Truly songs in my phone and they're both here heh

11- Compass・Zella Day

So powerful. Purple is for psychodelic and powerful.

12- Borderline・Vanic

13- Persona・BTS

14- Waving Through A Window・Thomas Sanders cover

There are a lot of covers to this song that resonates with me so much, but my favorite ones are this one, with dodie and Ben J, and the Owl City one. Fantastic.

15- Why Try・Ariana Grande

*chef's kiss*

16- BLUE・Troye Sivan

17- everythingoes・RM

RM from BTS just dropped this album called mono, and its the best thing ever. It feels like rain and lying in the back of a truck watching the stars with someone you love.

18- wRoNg・ZAYN

19- Through The Dark・One Direction

I was hoping this song could make it into the list. It's so beautiful. I used to think it was a magical song, as I used to sing it in the scary darkness, and my fears would go away.

20- ON・BTS

SLAPS. HELL YEAH.

・・・

i aint tagging anyone because im TIRED. Whoever sees this can try. I'm OUT.

[sleepys-sunny-garden]

HIII for the ask game -- 3, 12 (if you wanna share, dw /nf), 14, 26! -scott

3. How connected do you feel to your source?

VERY!! i think my source is VERY cool and I am definiflsy cinnected to it a BUNCH!! it's my other home!! I love it!!

i guess..pretty connected. i like listening to the songs.they remind me of what my life used to be. but i like where im at now. (i would never admit it to grians face he would never let me forget it. but i do. :] )

12. What's your least favourite thing about your source?

HMM.. probably all the heartbreak n betrayal of the traffic series. That shit hurted. But I think it made me who I am today !!! So im not too mad about it :DD besides i got to hang with grian and what's better than that :]]

honestly just. the way i behaved. it's kind of embarrassing ngl. ive definitely changed and matured a ton since then (although. not all the way :)).

14. Does your appearance differ from your source's appearance?

NOt much!! I just wear more casual clothes now!! Although I do like me a good jellie rancher fit or boatem suit.. favorite classic outfits!

uhh. i mean i guess it depends on which music video you look at. i look the most like the iteration from internet ruined me, with the black beanie and black hoodie. but i pretty much just look like wilbur soot.. i have a tiny curly ponytail at the bottom of my neck tho heheh. and a cute choker that looks like a tiny chain. that's about it though.

26. Talk about anything you want, relevant to the rest of the questions or not!

OH!! UH!! HI!!! I hope you're doing well!! I don't have a lot to say... I will talk about my boyfriends though !!! I love them so much ! Grian is so nice and cuddly and adorable and amazing and sometimes he will take me on little rides bc he has wings!! And sometimes he will plan oicnics for us in our little space we have where you're like fronting but not and he bakes brownies and cakes and stuff and wowie he's so cool. AND BORE !!! ilOve borealis!!! He's always really kind and sweet and he likes to hold hands a lot which is very sweet. Bore and grian are both masters of pda and cuddles. Bore likes space a lot!! So sometimes we will go stargazing !!! And he'll tell me about all the planets and stars and stuff that we have iw and it's really fun, even when gri can't be there because he's fronting !! I think they're very cool !!!

hmm.. well, scars little rant kinda reminds me that. i think i might like grian a little bit. i dunno what's up with that but we can deal with it later ! love repressing ur feelings amirite /j anyway uhhh hm. other than that. not a ton to talk about. i really like pink! and old tech and webcore stuff. it's really cool but i don't know a ton about it, im not a nerd or anything. i don't know what else to talk about, really. i hope you have a good day though ! :]

[felinenthusiast]

1,2,5,6, 20-30

Oh boy that’s a lot! But Ty 💕

1. Do you have a chum handle? What does it mean?

I don’t actually! But I have my trollsona who I’ll probably make one for at some point which would be mine by extension since she’s just be but grey with nicer hair pfh

2. Is your username homestuck related/have you had one hs related?

Hmmmm I WONDER.

I mean obviously I have the Roxy Lalonde branding™

Since this account it’s always been HS related (specifically to Roxy), I went rox-lal to rox-lalonde and then the person with the roxylalondes URL was nice enough to give it to me!!!

5. Are you “kin” with any characters or commonly called a character?

Nah I’m not kin, though I do relate to Roxy and Terezi, but I just don’t feel that kind of connection I feel ‘kin’ denotes (but ofc I don’t dislike kin, you guys are sweet) and ye I’ve been called Roxy before which I’m cool with since it’s My Brand™

6. God Tier?

Knight of Heart 💗

I’ve thought that for a while, and when the canon quiz came out it was like 'Yeah you’re heart for sure’

20. Tell us how homestuck has effected you in real life?

Hmm well it made my friends annoyed at me briefly when I first go in to it! Fkjsjdn but they’re not like that anymore don’t worry my friends who I actually keep close nowadays aren’t a-holes.

Honestly while HS is super important to me I can’t pinpoint much 'affected me in real life’ things! I have cosplayed and met other HSs irl briefly which was rlly cool!

21. Have you met anyone through homestuck?

Yeah ppl on Tumblr and a lot of my video editor friends 💕

22. Have you left the fandom before?

Nope! I’m afraid the fandom’s stuck with me.

23. How many times have you read through it?

Hmmmm 3? I think? I’ve tried to reread it a bit more than that but have ended up stopping. I haven’t read it through in a while, actually, maybe when I’m less busy I’ll go for another reread!

24. Did you ever skip intermissions/dialog/animations?

NOPE. I didn’t rlly understand the midnight crew intermission the first time but I didn’t skip it even if I was confused.

25. Opinions on the fandom?

Mostly a nice place nowadays! There’s still some areas I’m not fond of but for the most part I think despite the reputation homestucks had gained over the years, the current fandom is very pleasant?

26. Opinions on the comic?

Ilove it sm and there will never be anything like it again!!!

Could have had a better ending, I honestly think just adding a walk around where you can change characters and talk to ppl before act 8 would have improved shit sm! But if Hussie is rlly serious abt a possible epilogue, I think that could iron out a lot of my issues

27. Do you favor the trolls, humans, or carapaces?

TROLLS! like not all of them but I do just enjoy the alternia alien shit! Tho I do love the humans (esp Lalondes) and also the carapaces (the midnight crew cracks me up)

28. Favorite moment of all of homestuck?

FUCK! Uhh the Terezi and Vriska moments in [S] remember??? ❤️💓💔💕💖💗💞❣️💝💟

29. Least favorite moment of all of homestuck?

The whole Gamzee and Terezi kismesistude arc honestly! But more specifically on lofaf when he hurts her and also kills karkat and game over ):

30. Tell us a homestuck based story.

Okay, I have 2 short ones, cus I don’t have any long funny ones, and now they probably sound made up but I swear these are true

Once while I was in Terezi cosplay, in the middle of a con, I was yknow just eating my panini in Costa for lunch and a server came up next to me and whispered 'Vriska was better’ I was fucking reeling. I turned around and was like, 'i love both Scourge sisters equally!!!’

Another time at dnd club (yes, I have great hobbies!) I heard someone mention taz, which yknow the venn diagram for fans of it and homestuck is a circle!! Anyways someone mentioned taz and I was like 'hhhello’ and they just said to me, 'of course you like taz, you’re wearing a homestuck hoodie’ and I was just embarrassed at how predictable I was.

Both these stories give off similar energy fjdk

[walkinsauce]

Becoming Poly- Chapter 14: My Turn

Sorry I didn’t blog last week. Do you know how hard it is to write about polyamory under the same roof as your parents? I was scared one of them was going to pop in and ask,

“Christina, why do you need that bottle of wine in your room?”

“Paper weight.”

So, ya, I’m sure hundreds of self help books would call that an “excuse” for not writing, but trust me: it felt TOO CREEPY. You try to write about sex while your parents are in the next room watching My Three Sons. See how you feel.  I would, however, like to thank all my Tumblr readers for hitting the heart button on all my blogs. Quick shout outs to:

ilove-seductive-mature attractive-milf-girls hot-elder-chamber fat-milf-foxy-imgs bimbo-slutty-girlz fuck-sexy-fat-pussies fucking-amazing-fat-cunts jugs-nice-pictures

It’s good to know I’ve found my audience. Though I do wish you guys would put some capital letters in your names. You’re better than that.

I’ve calmed down from my boyfriend’s first “other sex” in our relationship. I’m pretty lucky that I have so many people reaching out to me, who are better versed in open relationships than I am. A particular comic friend in Florida always sums it up so well:

“Your primary is your home. These other people are the Disneylands and carnivals of the world. Fun day excursions, but you don’t want it every day.”

I think that’s my problem: Part of me would prefer to be the Disneyland. And good news for you, I’m way cheaper.

I still have a crush on the one guy I texted at O’Brien’s the day of my breakdown. I know he’s wary of the poly thing, and knowing my boyfriend, but I can’t help it. I’ve known him for years. I’ve had a crush on him for a year. I can’t help it if I’m a coward, and don’t know how to approach him. (Especially considering the circumstances.) Me sending him Snapchats that he’ll never open is enough of a rush for me.

It’s Friday night. I’m sitting at Ollo, as I often do during happy hour, wondering what I’m going to do when all the regulars go home at 8pm. It’s not a party city. We could use a Malibu’s Most Wanted reboot out here. But with the tiny bit of confidence I get from deep fried zucchini sticks and house wine, I decide to text my crush:

“Do you ever open Snapchat anymore, or am I sending things to an archive…?”

(With a smirky face emoji, obvi.)

He writes back minutes later.

“Hahahaha! I just watched the snaps! They made me laugh!”

It was at least a month’s worth of events, even capturing his own roommates. It must have been quite the montage.

“Thanks for sending them! I’m sorry I’m the worst. They were really funny. How long have you been sending them?”

Oh months. They’re my favorite seed I’ve ever planted.

“You might have just gotten something from me.”

I open Snapchat and see his name light up in full arrowed purple. I’m ridiculously excited for a girl my age. I’m starting to tune out the old man beside me bragging about how he gave Rosie O’Donnell her big break. That’s how you can tell I keep it real in this town- I’d much rather chase romance than my own career. (GOOD MOVE, EH?)

He writes again:

“I just finished a show in Hermosa Beach and I got to watch a lady heckle another comedian by saying, “we’re never going to be friends.”

Wow. The edginess of Hermosa Beach hecklers. What’s next? No tip? Shocking. I’m walking home, past people sleeping in their cars. At least my career is going better than theirs. But it’s a good reminder there’s no parking restrictions on PCH. Man, if any road needs some street cleaning…

It takes us another 18 texts to finally figure out we should meet up, but when he writes,

“I’d be down to meet up somewhere!”

I’m immediately wet. (It happens fast at my age.) He suggests the exact two bars in Santa Monica I was going to suggest. Power of the Leo and Sagittarius. (I probs just lost nine readers by referencing astrology.)

I get to Rick’s on Main Street slightly before him. I don’t have my real glasses on me, cuz I’ve been wearing my prescription sunglasses all day. Didn’t expect to be out past sunset, cuz that’s Malibu “night life.” So I’m going to be mildly blind all night. People always tell me,

“You should get laser eye surgery.”

Why the fuck would I do that? My glasses cover at least a dozen lines on my face. I’m thinking about getting a new pair, with thicker rims. I’m growing out bangs next. The date will be fine as long as I don’t send him into the kitchen when he asks where the bathroom is.

Now here’s the grey area…

Do I tell my bf right now that I’m going to meet this crush? I don’t know anything is going to happen. There’s a good chance we will just be two (ASTROLOGICAL PERFECT MATCHES) drinking buddies in a bar. Two comics, talking shop. Do we really need to set off the alarm before there’s a fire? As per my communication skills, I think def not. Like this blog, I will leave it till the last minute. (Typed at 3:13am, 4:45am after proofreading.)

I’m pretty sure I look like shit, but the good thing about somebody knowing me through comedy, is they always see me looking like shit. I’ve never been super comfortable looking “good” on stage. Maybe this comes from starting stand up 19 years ago, and always fearing women wouldn’t like me if I looked pretty. Most of the women in a comedy club are on dates, and I would literally get glares as they gripped their men. So early in my career, I started to wear hoodies on stage, and cover as much skin as possible. It was my passive aggressive way of saying,

“Don’t look at me. Listen to me.”

(Also, “I’m not here to steal your boyfriend. I’m here to make forty bucks.”)

This is another reason I love the rise of feminism: I pray it means the death of catty-ism. (An energy I sadly grew up with.)

So ya, back to the poly stuff: I’m on an impromptu date with my crush, my bf doesn’t really know, I look like shit, but can’t see that cuz I left my glasses at home. He walks in the bar and I’m almost in shock that we’re together. I think it’s been months since we’ve been in the same room together. And since when did I start going after things I want…?

I’m shockingly comfortable around him. That’s a plus about bonding with someone while you’re in a relationship. You don’t try as hard to sell yourself as when you’re single. You’re just you, and if they don’t like it, who cares? (I admire people who are like this all the time.)

He suggests we go to Chez Jay next. Ooooooooh, I love a new bar. Never been. So excited. Even more excited that he’s ditched his car, and will get it in the morning. I love a man who drinks responsibly. (Is this how I book a MADD commercial, or do I still need to have babies?)

Chez Jay is great. I like having bars like this on my radar. The conversation is going steady, tho I’m praying my primary and polyamory doesn’t come up. I just want to enjoy this night, as it is. The same way I did as a single person. I really don’t want to dive into the politics of it all. I think I’m more terrified that talking about it will scare him away…

When Chez Jay closes, he asks me if I wanna come over for some porch beers.

Yup. You know I do.

Again… is this the moment I text my bf and let him know I’m going over to a guy’s house? I mean technically, there’s a good chance nothing will happen. Seems too soon to ring the alarm. And if there’s one expression comedians know, it’s “too soon.”

He gets us an Uber/Lyft, whichever- most cars in town have both stickers. When we get to his house, I hit the bathroom. Every girl’s most investigative move in a dude’s house. Is his hand towel also his bath towel? Is this a one towel wonder situation? Does he own toilet paper? I don’t make it that far, because I’ve sprayed surprise period all over my undies. (If those Tumblr names didn’t scare you away, this surely will, eh?)

I search the cupboards for anything remotely handy in this moment. There’s nothing. Maybe I should hit the kitchen, and look for coffee filters. Those should work, right?

Nah, I’ll just do the ol’ “tie toilet paper around my underwear” move. It’s the move you do when you first get your period, in case you don’t know. (I FEEL SO YOUNG AGAIN! MAYBE I DON’T NEED BANGS!)

Porch beers are the best. I’m a fan of his roommates. We’re all having a great time, but then… 

Something more unexpected than my bloody kitty happens. This beautiful, young blonde chick walks up to the porch.

“Hey, I live across the street. All my friends went to sleep, so I thought I’d come introduce myself.”

Holy. Mother. Trucker. It’s 3:00am. This isn’t the moment I was expecting competition…

But here we are.

The guys grab her a beer. Now again, I am not into “catty-ism.” BUT- I am a share holder of “insecurity-ism.” And if I were any one of these guys on this porch, I would def hit on this chick instead of me. She’s legit extremely cool. There’s a part of me that wonders if this is fate’s little way of saying,

You’re not ready to pop your poly cherry yet.

I never rang the alarm. I can still get out of this… innocently?

Either way, I think she might be might be my personal savior (another word I spell wrong cuz I’m Canadian and think there’s a “u” in it.)

“Do you have a tampon?”

“Of course! Come on over!”

She takes me over to her apartment, and literally gives me all her pads cuz she doesn’t use them. Bonus. My favourite sleep aid. I fucking love this girl.

We head back over to the boys, and I know I’m drunk, bleeding and tired. I ask my crush if there’s a place I can crash. He escorts me to his roommate’s room, and tucks me in. (Don’t worry- the roommate wasn’t there. That would have been the real poly, eh?)

As I fall asleep, like a loser at a slumber party who goes to bed first, I can’t help but think,

“He’s a great guy. She’s a great girl. If they hook up, I’m fine with it.”

PRACTICE COMPERSION! Why is compersion so much easier when you’re not dating someone? I fall asleep/pass out- which ever you like to believe at this hour. In the morning, I wake up in a super funny comedian’s bed. Alone. I make the bed, as a sure fire way to say “a chick was here” and text my crush.

“Oh I wanna say bye, but I don’t know what room is yours.”

I can’t just knock on random doors… Plus he might not be alone. I def don’t want to interrupt kinky times with the pad donor. All of a sudden, one of the roommates pops out of his room. I ask him which room is _______’s and he shows me. In this moment, I know I’m risking becoming a piece of gossip my boyfriend might hear… 

And not through me…

I lightly knock on the door. When I hear a groggy “come in” I open the door.

There’s NO hot, cool, tampon savior chick in his bed. He’s just sleeping, post drinking style, alone.

“Oh, I just wanted to say goodbye…”

And then, without saying another word, I crawl into bed with him.