#im a bit tired though so idk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thatfizzyyyy · 1 year

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every 2-3 months i post a "what if i started writing again" post and then i write for 1-3 days and never again. but what if i started writing again.

#oops im rambling #the time will pass anyways yk #im a bit tired though so idk #maybe ill do some world building plotting etc

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lunarharp · 7 months

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What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)

#witch hat tag #orufrey #er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this.#wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on #i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head #that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it...#some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself...#maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts.#orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway #i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles #btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20 #well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10 #and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most #(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era #that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little.#certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye #idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'.#i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle #just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit #let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')

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ganondoodle · 3 months

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i cant lie, im also beating myself up about not being able to get excited for the new game, or anything anymore it seems, while it can be fun to criticise things, some things you just dont like so badly that the frustration knowing it could be so much better but isnt and you not able to change it outweighs any fun- i dont like being a 'hater', i hate totk, but not bc i hate zelda but bc i LOVE it and want it to be better (though im starting to doubt my ability to do anything good with it too..)

and with the new game trailer (like, i still hope its better than im fearing rn) i feel similarly as when the next totk trailers dropped after the first one (which DID excite me), all of them gave me a sense of dread bc it seemed to go into a direction i wouldnt like, i tried to tone that voice down to enjoy the game, but then .. i was right

i dont want to be an annoying complainer about everything new, but maybe i am and i dont like that thought, i dont want to spoil anyones fun, i want to partake in it :(

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #either way #i know im in a bit of a swamp of bad feelings rn so i dont trust myself and what i say fully #but i have been thinking about trying to only work on destiny in terms of fanart #and look at my original stuff and perhaps gamedev a bit more seriously #dont get me wrong im not 'leaving' the fandom #but the things i like are so few and tiny parts of old games that are pretty much irrelevant to the modern fandom #like trying to keep driving on tires even when they lost all their rubber #after botw and the first botw2 trailer i was so deep into the theories of it all- and now i dont even want to look at the thumbnails #(even if those were largely boring or kinda weird- i felt like i was taking part in a fun group about stuff i like? in a way?)#what scares me about doing more original stuff though is ...#even my fanart was niche and largely not “popular” so doing oc stuff might be even worse and idk if my frail self worth can handle that dro #and to the last point of the post itself................. maybe a fear of losing community too #like how in school you where at first a part of the class #and as you got older your classmates started to notice how different and weird you were #and then you were alone

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fishlings · 5 months

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a young mare stands in her bedroom...

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alternautxyz · 5 months

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uuhhh in other new that lmk s5 trailer dropped and people are very

mixed

for context the new season is being partly animated by wildbrain i think. flying bark is still working on the show but probably due to all the other projects they've been working on like the atla movie the animation is off.

its understandable that people are upset. lmk has some of the most consistently dynamic and lively animation ive ever seen, and going from that to ok animation kinda sucks. as a culmination of a lot of what the series has been building up to people were inevitably going to be disappointed

at the same time people shouldnt harass animators. like ever. no amount of trying to petition or anything will change the s5, people are just trying to do their job and theres no probably no major changing to the finished product by now. and theres still a lot of that lmk charm in there, and we haven't even seen the whole season yet to judge it. flying bark is still working on it, and even if the animation never reaches the peak of the old seasons it still has the same writers so at least the writing has the chance to live up old standards. idk though we'll just have to wait and see

#i do think they could have just delayed it after dealing with other projects but with the anniversary lego might have jsut forced them????#and with how the animation industry is i guess they didnt have a choice #tbh im still really sad about the downgrade but after rewatching the trailer a bit more its not that bad despite the tweening #we've been spoiled with the other seasons but i think people will get used to it at some point. maybe #though i cant forgive some of the new stuff like li jing and that dragon tiger duo they do not fit the artstyle at all #though for li jing i think the problem is mostly proportions and how small his eyes look #but the dragon and tigers snouts just look bad.#ok looking at it again i think it looks weird because theyre dissolving. the design's still off but it wasn't as bad as i first thought.#but the proportions and shapes feels like it just isn't from lmk #idk i could nitpick but negativity is tiring and these guys have big shoes to fill for a show they werent prepared for it was inevitable #for any last takeaways please do not be mean to the animators #also studio changes are normal so its not some horrible injustice or the sign of the end times im more upset lego didn't handle it better #i still hope s5 is good and i want to believe it'll still be satisfying by the end the plot so far sounds pretty interesting #or atleast that the atla movie is good enough to compensate #and if im feeling greedy there will be a 6th season that gets better #and there are still good shots throughout all of this so maybe it'll work out with the season as a whole #with how popular it is in china i dont think its out of the question #idk though a lot of information is still up in the air so i guess we just wait #lego monkie kid #lmk #monkie kid #alttalks

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fraternum-momentum · 8 months

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I CANT I CANTTTTTTT I WILL LITERALLY EXPLODE RJIKNHGKRSBKFUCKNHJHFBNJEA JFHBAEJHBFJHBHBHBHBHBBAZHJDBAJHDBAJKHBDJKNA????A//////!?!!!!!!!!??!!???!?!?!??!! I CANNOT I LITERALLY NOT THE CAN I CANTTTTTT RAUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#⚠️WARNING⚠️TAGS R SUPER FUCKING LONG I NEEEEED TO RAMBLE ABOUT LOVE AND DEEPSPACE I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS #SUGGESTIVE ART? NSFW? LITERAL GODDAMN PORN? LIGHT WORK NO REACTION #POV ROMANTIC OTOME GAME SHIT WITH THE TINIEST HINT OF SPICE??? I CANNOT ITS TOO MCUH I ITS AUGHHH IM JNUHJHFUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK #IM LIKE FUCKING PLAYING THIS GAME WITH A HAND COVERING MY EYES WHILE PEEKING ITS TOO MUCH #I AM LOOKING AWAY EVERY SECOND IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH FUCKUNGBHGJGHJHGHGBJJH #I HATE HATE HATEEEEE (not rly) IT WHEN THEY GET NEAR U ITS AUGH ITS SO WEIRD I PUT MY PHONE FURTHER AWAY FROM ME OUT OF EMBARASSMENT #SOMETIMES I LOSE MY IMMERSION AND GET SELF AWARE AND THINK TO MYSELF THIS IS SO FUCKING WEIRD... THIS IS WHY I DONT PLAY OTOME GAMES DUDE #like no hate to otome games its just way too much for me i get way too embarassed abt playing them its def a me thing #ok first of all the combat is p ok actually it reminds me of pgr and hi3 altho i like pgr better :] (lee my beloved)#i did burst out laughing when i found out abt it cause i thought it would be like mysme and its just visual novel shit but its really okay #also i did a bit of thinking as to why i dont find the charas super appealing & its cause theyre obv manifactured to b 'the perfect guy'#like you know how pugs were bred to be cute but end up deformed and stuff? yea kinda like that #im not saying theyre deformed but thats the vibes im getting #deformed pug vibes #the jp vas are pulling thru though #ALSO I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF GACHA pleaseee i alr play hsr + gi + /occasionally/ pgr and stopppp i hate the gamba aspect of the games #AND IM NOT JUST SAYING THAT BC I DIDNT GET THE CARD I WANT #.................. OKAY SO MAYBE I DIDNT GET WHAT I WANT THE POINT STILL STANDS #i like them (reluctantly) all so far ? idk no one is rlly my fav yet tbf im still at ch. 2 so..#theyre all cute ig zayne is nice maybe i dunno i like his shoulders......? hes very cold tho cause haha ice powers #i call him elsa in my head #xaiver is also nice? hes cute? hes sleepy n shit #rafayel is kinda goofy? aloof? but in the 'she's so crazzzzzzzzzy! i love her!' way (look it up if u dont know) and im not super into that #hes the one whimpering though so it is what it is #overall i think ill keep playing until i get the card i want ill also prolly play it on my laptop instead cause its super laggy on my phone #idk how ill deal with the combat part tho but thats a problem for future me lolol #okay yea idk if anyone is still reading this but i dont want my irls to know that im playing this game so here we r #idk why im using the tags to ramble its way more fun like its more casual i think #OKAY YEA BYE #frambling...?

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apocalypticdemon · 2 months

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I am so beyond ready to quit this job. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.

#to be fair it's bc school starts again in a few weeks #but idk. every day at this office feels like sandpaper on my skin. people always ask me shit i dont understand #and every case is so individual there's no set checklist to follow to troubleshoot #so most of the time I just grind my gears and get stuck #it'd busy more days than not.#and it was advertised to me as data entry only. client interactions was not what i signed up for.#it's all client interaction.#we're short staffed so nobody gets to take the back office and have a break.#when we weren't short staffed i was the new guy and only got 1 day in the back a week while everyone else got 2.#all my coworkers are conservative but talk like they're apolitical.#i thought it'd be fulfilling bc im helping people get benefits #but many are rude or impatient as any other service job. I'm constantly trying to direct people that don't want to listen #or explain the intricacies of something i barely understand.#and i don't want to lead people astray bc you have to start over if you blow a deadline.#but there's just nothing redeeming that i enjoy.#i hate customer service. i hate constantly asking questions. i like seldom few of my coworkers.#i can't be me at work.#and i don't care about the work itself anymore.#this job made me cry every day for weeks last month from sheer stress and overstimulation.#i almost cried myself sick several times.#the only reason I'm not there anymore is bc i dont fucking care anymore.#it took me 2 months to burn out. 2 months!#i was training for half of that!!#idk. everyone decided i was smart and could pick it up quickly so. even though everyone else got 4-6 weeks of shadowing #you can make do with 3 before you start doing stuff solo.#which feels unfair. i wasn't ready for it. and i resent the decision quite a bit.#plus it's been a nightmare for me in terms of external stressors and my generally deteriorating mental health. so.#all in all. i hate it here.#and i can't wait to turn in my notice so i can gtfo in 2 weeks #i am so tired. free me. let me go back to my music please

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perilegs · 2 months

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i thought we were done equating looks with morality... why are there still people talking about solas' baldness and him being evil in the same breath 🤨

#dragon age critical #<- thats my bitching tag if u want to block it #also i personally don't like solas bc what he says to a qunari inquisitor and how he talks to sera makes me personally uncomfortable #+ i find him a bit annoying. i know men like that (derogatory) but. he's hot. have you guys seen him.#if he was faggy and romanceable by a man i'd be a solasmancer #thats not who he is though #anyways i am so very tired of ''evil egg'' etc.#can we let bald people exist in peace #it's just hair #well. lack of it but yknow baldnes is a hairstyle #man idk im just so tired of this webbed site sometimes ghjdhasgk

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lannisterdaddyissues · 2 months

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my phone is poisoning me i need to put it down

#idk why my adhd suddenly magnified by like 1000x in the past week but i Need to fix myself until this semester is over #guys if im a little less active than usual on here its bc im trying to be a good girl and live my life #<- don’t worry though because it wont work and im terrible at that #but please cheer me on and remind me to get the hell off of this site when im on here 😭#i wanna practice good study habits and i need to study ahead early for my finals agghhh #it just sucks bc im so tired of taking notes man. why am i spending an hour typing shit i won’t remember about a topic i don’t need to know #anyway this is a bit of a vent post i guess #im just starting to feel worse catholic guilt over my tumblr addiction bc finals week

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pink-lemonadefairy · 1 month

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🌻 ₊˚⊹ ࿔ 🌳

#the weather is so lovely today. it’s breezy and cool but the sun is warm so it’s not too cold or too hot out.#i wish it was like this forever.#ive been feeling so tired lately. physically n mentally & idk if its an underlying health issue or bc i haven’t been sleeping super well #the past few days i wake up in the middle of the night but im able to go back to sleep fairly quickly. but i STILL feel exhausted.#im supposed to talk about my lab results w my doc tmrw on the phone so. i hope everything is okay but tbh i wouldn’t be surprised if #something wasn’t optimal. my iron was okay last time i checked it though. sigh i just idefk anymore.#im sick of everything. im irritable for no reason. i don’t wanna do anything. like anything. i just want to rot in my bed #and even my interests are slowly slipping away from me. writing? couldn’t care less if i don’t write anything for the rest of the year tbh.#reading? i couldn’t even care to browse the shelves when we went to the bookstore the other day and it scared the shit out of me #kpop? meh.#i have a massive to do list and uni starts in a month and i have no energy. + dealing with my own brain and nonsensical thoughts on top #of that. overthinking anxiety all that super great stuff.#im also sick of putting in 110% into my relationships and getting half of it back. family friends whoever. and it makes me so sad. +#i feel like nobody even understands me. or even tries to or wants to.#im just tired #sick and tiredddddd #actually a bit sick too my throat hurts #anyways whatever #it’ll be fine i guess #i don’t want to give up but i don’t have any desire to push through im sort of just. floating. ill deal with it when i deal with it #♡ dear diary…

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orcelito · 3 days

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Actually is there any cure to feeling like I'm a failure of a person if I don't keep posting fic regularly. Like I know this is not a job or anything. It's just for fun. But with how most people comment only within a day or two of when something is posted, I end up with weeks and weeks of no comments, even when the hits on my works still go up, so it makes me feel rather forgotten.

Like idk. This is probably just feeling worse bc im apparently phenomenally neurotic today. But I wish people commented on older fics more.

#speculation nation #like it's not in my head it's the same thing. everyone experiences it.#theres a spike in new comments for the first day or two. by day 3 id be lucky to get 1 or 2. and beyond that?#well i do get some Sometimes but it's usually the stragglers in reading an update or the rare wonderful person who comments as they read #highlight on the rare. ive only had a handful of these types of people. wonderful when it happens. but it's not the rule.#no after day 4 of posting something new comments drop off into practically nothing. even as hits and kudos still go up.#so it's hard to not feel shitty about it. why do people think it's so bad to interact with older things?#it makes me feel like i Have to keep posting things just to have my writing be recognized.#and logically i know it's not like ppl dont love it anymore. clearly at least a few do.#the people who are supportive on my posts or reach out to me about it. you know.#but overall... idfk. mass majority of readers just dont interact after the first few days. if at all.#and it makes me feel so forgotten. like i have to be a fast fashion poster always and forever to keep ppl's attentions.#i dont want to write under that pressure. im so tired. and im Still grieving.#idk. i just feel so under appreciated. even though i know im one of the lucky ones with how sweet my readers are.#it's just... hard. when the vast majority of my readers dont bother to give back to me. even a little bit.#idk. i should probably stop thinking about it. im just making myself sad.

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arolesbianism · 4 days

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Thinking abt Sif Odile duo looping au again and I wanna be able to plot everything out more coherently but act 5 eternally looms overhead and boy I do not wanna look up

#rat rambles #stars posting #like I have a vague idea of some of the like themes I imagine being present late game but it doesnt change the fact that act 5 isnt very #duo looper au friendly especially in this case with most of the ideas I have #I rly want it to be both a breaking point for them as individuals and a breaking point for their relationship but idk how to go about that #fully taking the rest of the party into account especially since Im not even sure if I wanna give odile her own friendquests #like I Could but I also think it'd be fun for many reasons to not #and even if I Did itd be hard to justify having both be able to happen and go wrong in one loop #and theres not rly a good solution to that I think so my best bet is probably to just leave odile friendquestless #but Id rly like to still have odile quarrel with the rest of the party in a significant way #idk maybe it can be the scene where sif comes back to the lighthouse or smth?#like he comes back and odile just completely lashes out at him or smth and the others get rly upset with her #but then theres also the whole walk through the house that I have to figure out and Im also not set on how that should go #maybe it can be like reality almost splitting as they both try to use timecraft at the same time?#not sure how Id go about portraying that in story though since the rest of the party cant rly experience that I think #Im sure theres some way you could pull that off tho Im just too tired to have any good ideas atm #and then the biggest bastard comes in. mal moments.#like I cant just put them both there! that's not how that works!#and I dont wanna just leave them mostly vanilla thats boringgggg #but Id probably have to. alas.#afterwards is also a bit fuzzy but I have rhe general idea down #me and the bestie when we both made the same wish but dont know that and have both been falling into a spiral over it #(we dont even realize that the part of the wish that was the exact same was the core of the wish)#(we both just thought that we accidentally trapped the other with us in this hell)#(we also have been actively getting worse at communicating for months now so by the time the wishcraft stuff came up we were both deep in #the no feelings talky talk zone)#(we probably should have known smth was up when everyone started consistently thinking that we had a fight every loop)#(maybe we did but we just didnt want to admit they were right)#god I wish I was more confident with writing odile dialogue I wanna draw scenes from this au so bad #it doesnt help that I got too comfortable being into a media that had like 3 fans and now ppl might actually look at what I create

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piplupod · 2 months

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pretty sure i just got a spider bite while trying to fall asleep 🧍

#i thought it was just a stray hair on my elbow under the blanket and kept trying to shake it off #and then i finally went to brush it off w my hand and felt a bump there #and then it was unbearably itchy so i turned the lamp on to apply some anti-itch stuff bc it was driving me nuts #and i was trying to see where it was on my elbow bc wtf when did i get bit #and then i looked at it and it was very pale like a fresh bite and then there was some skin torn like a spider bite #i cant tell if theres two little holes or not and honestly idk if spiders always leave two fang marks fjdkdl #but it doesnt look like a mosquito bite unless i tore the skin myself from scratching at it #but the way it is looking... very similar to past spider bites #anyways i just removed everything from my bed and methodically searched Everything. looked all around the bed too. cannot find a spider #so. shrug. <- actually very afraid #but the thing that makes me Really think it's a spider is that the bump was super pale and now after a little while it is regular skintone #so that makes me think it was a brand new fresh bite the way it was a different colour and now its normal looking #which is uhhh scary! to have had a spider possibly in my bed!#and I can't find it so i simply do not Know and that is going to make it so hard to sleep tonight fjfkdl #man i barely ate today too so im just... really not doing well at this very moment fjfkdl #i cant eat anything rn though bc i already brushed my teeth and i dont want to do that again tonight fjfkdl #but i am. so hungry. augh. idk what I'd even eat anyways im too anxious to stomach anything #WHERE IS THIS SPIDER. WHY DID IT CHOOSE MY BED TO BE IN 😭#im in bed so often ... it should avoid places where ppl are ....#i feel like such shit rn fjdkdl i just rly wish i didnt have to deal w all these bugs #in the past month I've had a couple spiders and Several(!) weevils and a centipede and a clicker beetle and a couple earwigs #im just so tired of bugs i rly am fjfkdl idk why they choose to come inside and idk HOW they're getting inside #i hate living in a basement!!#i just want to sleep so i dont have to deal w being awake for a while fjdkls but now im all freaked out #i want to curl into a little ball and blink out of existence I'll be so honest rn. im just. idk.#✨ I don't think I have a place in society ✨ i am not a good enough person to exist in the world ✨#i dont want to go to sleep bc what if the spider comes back fjfkdl i wish i would've found it so i could've trapped it #and then let it outside tomorrow! i wouldnt have even killed it. the universe should've given me that one bc im so niceys #unfortunately the universe doesnt play nice w me fjfksl #spider tw

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strangerhands · 6 months

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mmmmm heyyy👁️. ive basically been gone from tumblr for over two days because ive been feeling like a shitty piece of shit. BUT. i finally saw dune part 2 and ohmygoddddd it was so so good. but yes. i was missing leto so bad the entire time. Father come back pls. i need you.

#it was so good tho #like so cool i was internally freaking out about how cool things looked #the fight scenes🤌#the environments/settings🤌#all of the fuckin machinery🤌#the acting🤌#the everything🤌#yum #also i dont find austin butler attractive but funnily enough feyd was the only time ive found him hot😭 yes i have issues. but like. okayyy..#i watched it alone and i wish doing things alone wasnt seen as such a weird or sad thing like. theres nothing wrong with it #sorta vent->#but basically ive been feeling like an annoying piece of shit so ive been staying off of here for the most part #because ive been convincing myself no one likes me and everyone in my life would be better off without me😝😝#just tee bee ehch #and idk i was just feeling like ass and was doing nothing and when i finally would go to use tumblr i was already too tired to do shit #so i just went to sleep #and i was busy today #yesterday*#and ill probably be a bit busy today too but idk maybe hopefully ill catch up a bit #idk ya boys just been hating himself like usual but not as usual bc it was worse but it is what it is #i felt a bit better yesterday though #and also my new antidepressants ive been on havent been doing shit for me so im going back to a previous one i used to be on so yea #hopefully that helps soonish idk #i never vent on here so i feel kinda bad for doing so but i just wanted to puke my thoughts here #also since im already here complaining ive just like. not written at allllllll basically like i got into my head and made myself discouraged #so. that sucks. but also nothing out of the ordinary there #why does Everything i say sound so embarrassingly depressing and pathetic hhhhhhhgggggggggggggghhhghghg #anyways yea i was doing bad im still not doing good but hopefully will be a bit better so ill be back and caught up later today or tomorrow #idk if anyone gave a fuck or noticed but i just like complaining into the void so yea #talkin shit

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uygfiug · 2 months

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finally catching up with sherlock & co while i clean the whole floor :)

#im quite a bit behind #and ive been wanting to catch up for ages #but always too busy with other things #im too tired to really do anything else rn though #so :)#cleaning the whole floor & afterwards idk ill play minecraft or something #mine

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dandyshucks · 8 months

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everyone pray for me that i did not just give myself food poisoning (;･∀･)

#i may have made a bad decision with the meat i cooked shdjdkl BUT I THINK IT'LL BE FINE #it was past the date on the packaging but it didnt smell or look or feel off at all so . i decided to risk it #and now im panicking bc i think perhaps that was actually rly stupid fhdkdl #but it was. so much money. i had no idea the date was so soon on the package when i got it from mum #I would've frozen it if I'd known dhdksl i should've looked #alas !!! i think it'll be fine tbh bc it genuinely did not seem spoiled at all so ... now we just pray #i had a fairly small serving of it and I'll see how i feel to figure out if the rest of it is safe to eat or not #im just fhdjdkl crying a little rn bc the past two days have been so awful and im so tired #i rly dont want to get sick on top of everything else going on #i would like one thing to go well fjdkdl just like. one thing. this feels like divine punishment for having the old lady group go so well #im just kind of losing my mind rn i think actually fhfkdl i have a therapy/counseling appt on monday though so we'll see if that helps #i do not have high hopes fjfkdl #MANNNN. can the universe give me a break PLEASE. I've been trying so hard the past three weeks to do well 😭😭#im putting in so much work and effort fhdksl can i PLEASE have this one thing go okay djdksl i do not want to get sick !!!#if i do get sick then im just. hhhhh. idk djdkdl it's just one more thing to add to my pile of Bad ig djdkdl what can ya do djdkdl #i am going to pull myself together and stop crying and go play stardew maybe idk fjdkdl i feel like im starting to crack a little bit #augh. augh. i would love to catch a break djdkdl #dandy.cmd #vent //

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