#im a gamer girl i have to accept it

[hecksupremechips]

Actually cry so goddamn hard when I think about Shinjiro Aragaki healing and being loved and having to learn to be okay with himself and being taken care of

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for telling someone i can't be friends with them and returning a gift?

buckle up gamers, this is gonna be a long one. so i (22nb but i present fem) was out at the bars the other night just kinda hanging out, and a girl (26f) came up and started talking to me. she didnt really seem...super present i guess? and i talked to her to be nice and she had a cool outfit on. well i was a little drunk and ended up giving her my phone number and meeting her husband (39m) and they walked me home. the whole time she was talking about how she doesn't have any friends and her ex friends just wanted to get with her husband. she told me she was bi and i was like hey me too but im not interested in sex so that was cool. she ended up walking me home w her husband bc it was late which was nice, but they seemed really shocked i lived in such a nice apartment(i do, its expensive but my parents pay for it. im really privileged to be able to do that).

i saw her again today because she kept texting me about wanting to hang out, so i went for ice cream with her bc it was in a public place and i wasnt super comfortable going back to her apt with her. i paid for her ice cream bc she said her card wasnt working, nbd bc my parents have money and her and her husband aren't really well off. i said she could pay me back sometime, buy me ice cream or whatever another day, but she really fixated on it. she told me her husband thought i was cute which made me a little uncomfortable but i laughed it of, and then she kept talking about how she was bi and would date a girl and how she approached me not to date but to be a friend and then 'see where it goes.' she also told me she did porn online to make money which is fine w me, that she's on disability but that the money isnt really enough to live on, and that she'd been raped in the past and drugged which yanno a little overshare-y considering ive known her for three days but she really seemed like she needed someone to talk to and im good at listening. well her husband showed up out of nowhere bc he apparently tracks her phone and we all went back to their apartment bc i couldn't say no(im a doormat. i know) and she ended up giving me two pieces of jewelry in return for buying her ice cream which felt a little like overkill. i tried to refuse but she said she wouldn't ever wear them again so it would be fine. it was really kind of her but now i kind of feel i owe her back for them. the whole time i was there they seemed really eager to get me to move in nearby, and while its true that area is definitely cheaper my parents are really fine paying for my expensive apartment bc my tuition is a lot cheaper than my sibling's. she and her husband walked me home again, mentioning they might be going on a cruise in november if they could save up the money and that they could bring a friend. i said id almost definitely have school which they seemed to accept. they kind of seemed to want to see my place, but i told them it was really messy(it is) i have anxiety around having people in my space(i do) and that maybe they could come up another day and i could make dinner, and she told me she didn't like people cooking for her bc she'd been drugged in the past and that i could go over to their apartment again instead.

my parents think theres some really big red flags going on and i should try to break this off sooner rather than later. i pretty much agree. im not gonna ghost her and they dont think i should either, but that i should somehow return the jewelry in a kind way and tell her i cant really be super close friends. my mom had the idea to draw myself wearing the jewelry and then say i still have a memory of it but to return it bc i cant accept such a nice gift which i could try to do.

to be clear i am shit at communication and setting boundaries, im very aware of that, and most of this can be solved by telling her hey i can't accept this gift and im really busy for school a lot and im sorry i cant be as much as a friend as you need. but i still kinda feel like tah for leading her on almost and then breaking it off like everyone else in her life. ive been under a lot of stress bc of school and my stepgrandmother passing and trying to take care of my grandfather so trying to be friends with someone that seems kind of high maintenance is not really tenable for me.

so, wibta if i tried to let her down gently?

What are these acronyms?

[lesboygamzee]

beta troll headcanons but i have headcanons on how alternian gender works ( its not that complex dw )

aradia - fully agender . seperate from everything . didnt really care until it godtiered and then was like ohhh i dont have to do anything anymore im free now ok ^_^ and was pretty chill with it forever tavros - Fairy Girl and transfem . i imagine that Fairy Genders are like completely caste nonconforming I HAVE LORE I HAVE LORE LISTEN TO ME NOW BOY anyway . has known for like .. Awhile but shes in proximity to vriska and vriska is like your average reddit transfem and tavros is like ok maybe i should just repress this and pretend its not something i think and dream about extensively . and it works for awhile and then she lives as a girl on her own on earth c but it still takes forever for her to actually Come Out but it happens .. eventually ... ok im getting sad my girl has problems SHES ALSO BUTCH sollux - gold bigender what the fuck else . very repressed transfem who fits all the gamer trasnfem stereotypes hes kind of real . again Very Repressed and like halfway an egg halfway Aware ( haha duality ) . starts being herself after prolongued proximity to godtier aradia she stole its fucking girl ness #thetransagenda . doesnt really like the association he has with her caste but accepts it as part of his identity nontheless karkat - agender cis guy no assigned caste but identifies with his assigned gender on the technical level . he has a weird relationship with it but like its chill overall nepeta - olive trans guy . nondysphoric and is fine being a girl but one day he was like hey somethings off and he ripped his tits clean off and started living as a he and went about his life as normal <- joke but probably not far off . i dont think he was unhappy as a girl hes just chill with whatever feels right in the moment i think and right now its Boy kanaya - jade trans girl but in a gnc way because female jadebloods are meant to be very cold i think people forget that but kanaya genuinely cares about motherhood and wants to nurture the matriorb because she cares about the next generation of her race and like thats a significant part of her character guys you know that right . i think her both being badass AND having a desire for motherhood is good writing actually guys .g . anyway . has known since she was very young and would be relatively normal about it if it wasnt for her Proximity To Vriska ( see Reddit Transfem ) terezi - teal trans guy whos also nonbinary whos also a dyke . ill be honest i dont have anything super in depth for this one sorry terezi fans vriska - cerulean trans girl . i think nows the time to clarify what i mean by reddit transfem umm . she will not shut the fuck up about how horrible and mannish she looks and acts forever and like its not her fault she feels like this but shes saying this in direct proximity of other transfems namely kanaya and tavros . i also think shes a transmed . umm has known from a young age but only becomes fully comfortable in her identity like .. a loooong time from canon equius - indigo transfem . i dont have a lot of thoughts on this but i think shes very repressed for a long time but Nepeta Proximity helps her a little . doesnt really transition shes just A Girl Now gamzee - Dyke . incredibly strange relationship with everything but like .. i think hes identifying as a trans guy at 13 if only because he thinks its the easiest to explain i dont think hed care . Until It Does . has a crisis about it for exactly a week before getting normal . hard to explain more for multiple reasons rips arm off eridan - violet cis guy but like theres gender fuckery going on . thought he was transfem for awhile and went on e and was like this is awesome but i think im a guy still . does drag as a fuschia woman feferi - fuschia multigender . another one that is hard to explain sigh but i think hes an egg at 13 but he doesnt have a whole thing about it hes like oh im more than just Girl cool ^_^

[sxtvrns]

unspoken

🎶 now playing: hi - laufey

P: Ryōhei Arisu x Fem!Reader

S: You couldn’t leave the poor man laying on the street. He couldn’t help falling for the girl who was always by his side.

W: aib spoilers, cursing, alludes to sexual content, beach arc, arisu a bit ooc (downbad), mentions of death, violence

N: Y/N is your first name, L/N is your last name. this has been sitting in my drafts for too long also i havent even finished the series yet i left off on s2 ep5 but i practically know the rest of the plot cuz i got fuckin spoiled… i started this like months ago now im just trying to make sense of the plot anyways hot emo gamer nerd man woopwoop sexy ahh mf i love kento yamazaki

please interact if you enjoy!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Yuzu walks beside you with the rabbit she just hunted in a plastic bag, a confident strut in her step. “We should get your clothes washed. Then again, I don’t know if you have any other clothes to wear.” She says, noticing the stains and dirt on your attire from previous games. You point to a shopping mall down the street you just walked.

She sighs. “I guess you could loot the place. Then we can wash your clothes.” You begin to get excited until she puts a hand on your shoulder. “You’ll go by yourself, though. You know the way back by heart.” You freeze up, complying with her terms considering that she was right. It wasn’t like you needed someone to nanny you 24/7, you were just scared of the thought that something could happen while Yuzu didn’t know.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. You’re strong and have the ears of a bat.” She pats your shoulder, the compliment you found strange but accepted anyways. You notice a lump of clothes and a hand on the street, noticing it’s another person after approaching closer.

You jog over to them, sitting on your knees in order to get a good look at the stranger’s face. You move his hand, his arm ending up on your legs. You end up nearly laying down with him while trying to get your head lined up with his, your fingers moving his hair out of the way to see his face more clearly.

His face and hands are tainted and covered in dirt and dust, including his clothes and shoes. His eyes are half open, yet they fully notice you when Yuzu calls your name. “Y/N! What are you doing?” She begins to walk over, prompting you to turn back to the man. You stutter out a few words when you realize he notices you there. “…you… okay?”

He’s alive, that’s for sure. You can hear his soft breathing, and his arm tensed up. “I wanna die here.” He softly speaks, the sudden request surprising you before you can say anything. Yuzu catches up, standing behind you, her shadow looming over the man. She watches you play with the man’s fingers, observing the cuts and dirt in the crevices of the skin and under his nails.

“Is he alive?” She asks. You nod, wondering what to do. You don’t want to leave him there, but you knew that Yuzu wouldn’t just let someone into your bunker unless she was the one to bring them in. This guy seemed different, though. What had he gone through in order for him to want to starve himself on the street? “We have to go. It’s gonna get dark soon.”

You let the man’s hand rest on the ground as you get up, looking behind you occasionally to see his figure slowly turn into a small speck the further you walk away. “Why’d you stop for him? You wouldn’t do that for anyone else.” She was right, but you didn’t know if she’d believe your answer. “He feels guilty.” Those were the words you were looking for.

“Even so, wouldn’t anyone be full of guilt to lay on the road like that?”

You point at him. “Wants to die.”

Yuzu just nods as her head slowly turns to face the road in front of her.

“Fine then. We’ll just leave him.” You want to protest, but can’t seem to say anything. To Yuzu, you just can’t get the words out at all. She was so strong; her presence alone intimidated you. You always watched yourself around her, considering that you had to learn from her and you didn’t want to humiliate yourself.

You’ve always had a hard time talking to people. Was it the fact you were bullied for merely speaking, raising a hand up to answer in class, to have a normal conversation with anyone? Yes. Slowly, day after day, you stopped talking. No one noticed, anyways, so it didn’t matter. You’ve been to therapy for it, but when you tried to talk, it was hard to put how you felt into words.

The sentences formed, but you couldn’t say anything out loud.

You usually spoke in smaller sentences, nothing detailed but enough for others to understand, which wasn’t useful living in a world where detail is key. If you were given the chance, you’d simply point and finish your sentence from there. Yuzu’s trying to help you through it, but she states that going out to get paper is a waste of time. She’s smart enough to put the pieces together through your phrases, figuring out why you rarely spoke.

“You’ll go out tomorrow. We’re running low on fuel for the gas stove and we need batteries. You can get anything else you need while you’re there.” She says, not really giving you much of a choice. It’ll be fine, right? Low chance of you ever running into someone while you’re… alone.

You point to your shirt with small stains on it. “New clothes.” Yuzu also looks at your shirt, sighing. “You can get new clothes, too. Speaking of which, can you also get soap?” You try to visualize what it would look like to carry all those things in your hands. “Too much. I’ll drop it.” You say, holding your arms out in front of you. “I can get you a bag.”

You hated how fragile plastic bags were, how easily they’d tear and rip, especially the handles. If something was too heavy, the pressure would go onto your fingers, and it hurts more than it looks. You shake your head no, trailing behind Yuzu. “Geez, you’re so stubborn. Might as well get a reusable bag while you’re at it.”

The list of things never ends.

“I can do… two trips.” You hold up two fingers, your friend letting out a huff. “If that’s alright with you, I suppose. Our visas are still good for a few more days, then we’ll have to play another game. So be careful tomorrow; don’t get hurt.” Yuzu warns. You nod profusely, her patting your back.

The first trip there you’d gotten the gas and batteries and a few extra flashlights just in case, snagging a reusable bag to make the trip easier. You always snagged reusable bags, but for some reason they always went missing more often than Yuzu’s plastic ones.

On the way back, when you didn’t stare at the sky or the garbage on the street, you noticed the guy still laying on the street in nearly the exact same position. You walked over carefully, kneeling down again and moving his hair out of his face. He was still breathing, but was sleeping soundly on the cement. The air that exhaled through his nose brushed against your arm, startling you a bit, but you stopped yourself from nearly flinching too hard and waking him up.

That day, you left him be.

The next day, it rained.

Your bag had a zipper, so thank god that your new clothes didn’t get soaked that day. Even with your umbrella, the wind would’ve blown the rain onto your shirts and bottoms. You nearly ran home, until the sight of the same man still laying on the street in the pouring rain stops you. It could just be the horrible conditions, or the thought of his clothes getting drenched bothering you so much, but you run over and hold the umbrella above both your heads.

Your first thought was to carry him bridal style, but then you’d have to ditch the umbrella, which you obviously weren’t gonna do. Instead, you tap his shoulder, and when he doesn’t respond, you tap his cheek. He blinks a few times, and that’s all you need to help him up and support him with his arm wrapped around your shoulder. He still slouches, head down, but as long as he didn’t fall asleep on the way there, he’d be fine.

You slide open the warehouse curtain, Yuzu gawking at the sight of you supporting another person. “Close it.” You tell her. She gets up and runs past you, you remembering you had to climb a ladder to get up. Yuzu climbs up, helping you carry him to the elevated surface, letting you set the man down on your old cardboard bed. You take off his jacket, setting it aside while you take your shirt off and dry him as best you can with it. Even while you’re doing this, he doesn’t seem to wake up. His eyes remain half open the entire time until he’s fully laid down, them closing shut.

You zip up your outer jacket, being met with Yuzu looming over you. You begin to open the bag with excitement before she drags you to the opposite side of the site. “What were you thinking? Bringing him here?”

“3 days. He slept on the street for 3 days.”

“Okay, but still. You need to be careful.”

“He was giving up. I didn’t like that.”

“So what if you didn’t like that? If he wants to die, he’ll die.”

“I’ve seen death before. He will regret it.” Your words come together slowly, yet you still feel frustrated as you couldn’t say it how you wanted to. “You’ve been like him before. You should understand.” You add, walking back to the unconscious man. You lay down beside him, staring at his face.

He’s ridden with dirt and dust, and he smelled of it too, with a hint of blood and the tiniest smidge of something botanical. His clothes were soaked and they were soaking the cardboard beneath him. There was probably still some lying around this place anyways.

The first time you saw him on the street, he looked familiar, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. Now that he’s in your base, giving you the ability to stare at him for the next 10 minutes, you realize that this was the man that saved you in his first game that he played.

Yuzu looks at you, laying on the bare concrete ground after you sacrificed your former makeshift cardboard mattress for the stranger that laid next to you. “Y/N.” You don’t move, laying still beside the man. She sees your fingers brush his hair out of his eyes, his face fully visible. “I’m sorry. Come help with dinner.” You shift, then finally get up and join her, looming over her workspace and watching her prepare rice.

“I got an extra knife for you.” She hands you a smaller knife and a cutting board, along with some vegetables that looked like they were just washed. You place them down on the cutting board, frozen and lost in space. “You don’t want him to starve, do you?” Yuzu speaks up, snapping you out of it as you begin to help.

“You were right.” She says, the lack of context clues only making you confused. “I was like him. I did nothing. I felt like dying. But I’m here now.” She suddenly stops what she’s doing, looking at you. “I’m sorry. You did something good, but I still don’t trust him.” You nod.

You understood why she was skeptical of him. Something in you just couldn’t bring yourself to leave him behind.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Are you really just gonna stay with him until he wakes up?”

You sat down by the man a while ago, noticing he turned and laid face up while you were making food with Yuzu. She’s currently eating at your one-person makeshift table, staring at you from there. You shrug, eating from your own smaller canister. The bowls you found came in packs of four, which was convenient if he was going to wake up and eat.

It’s nothing but the light of the lamp on the desk and the skylight above that helps you see throughout your small living space. Yuzu is about to finish her food while you sit by the stranger, getting up to put your bowl away after finishing your food.

“He’s awake.” Yuzu says, your eyes shifting to the sight of him blinking. You get a clean spoon and cup and scoop a serving into the bowl you used, pouring water into the cup. His eyes meet yours, freezing you in place for a moment before you remembered who the food in your hands was for. You set the bowl and cup down next to him before sitting down by him again. His eyes follow you the entire time.

“Why did you save me?” He asks. You say nothing but stare at him, his eyes focused on the ceiling now. “You want to live.” You reply. He merely scoffs with a sigh. “But I don’t deserve to live anymore.” Your heart aches as he begins to cry, but as he speaks, you realize you’ve been in his shoes before.

“We know how you feel.” You say, your hand tucking his hair behind his ear. “How you feel… we have felt it before.” You look over at Yuzu, and she smiles with a nod, meaning you’ve explained it better. “I saw my mom die while I lived. After that, I tried to die. I saw death for a second, but survived. Death isn’t pretty. It is darkness. It is nothing.” Yuzu stares at you with wide eyes as you try to speak. Your hand trembles and pauses while your fingers brush through his hair. “Your friends want you to live, so live. You will die sometime; a game, your visa, but don’t force it. For now, eat while you are still alive.”

He stares at you, who sits in front of him with her fingers brushing his hair. He simply lays there, staring at the bowl of food. “Y/N, just let him be. He’ll eat it when he needs to.” Yuzu says, your hand reluctantly moving away from his head. You turn off the lights before joining her in the tent, laying next to her. Meanwhile, the man lays on the cardboard, exhausted, but wondering what you meant by all that and why you played with his hair.

He distinctly remembers you, getting on your knees to check him on the road. You carried him when taking him to the warehouse, and he could’ve sworn he’s seen you in a game before. What did you mean when you said that you’ve seen death? Did you reincarnate or something?

He was too tired to think about it.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You wake up, Yuzu not beside you and light shining through the fabric of the tent, meaning she’d gotten up earlier than you to warm up. You had less of an athletic prowess than Yuzu did, so you normally stayed behind whenever she went for her morning jog.

Leaving the tent, you first notice the empty bowl that held only a seed by the man’s head. With the sunlight shining bright through the windows, you wonder if he is awake or not. “Wake up. We’re playing today.” You say, the man lying still, nearly convincing you he was still asleep. You fill up a water bottle, waiting for him to respond but getting nothing. “Do you remember the one game?” You ask, knowing he won’t respond.

“Live or Die.” The name brings back painful memories of his friends, one of them coming out with a burnt leg. “You saved me there. I would have… died at the one door.”

“One door?”

“The door after the girl died.”

“The second one?” That’s the word you were looking for. You nod. “I didn’t wanna die then. I didn’t want anyone to end up like the high schooler.” He adds. You sit down in the same spot again. You take one of his hands, holding it, your fingers gently playing with his palm. “You saved Yuzu. She would not be alive if you did not scream.”

“Were you there?” He asks. You shake your head. “She told me.” You respond with a sigh. “I… don’t want you to die. Let us save you.” You loosen your grip nearly to the point where you let go of his hand. He slowly but surely sits up, back against the boxes. He takes a good look at you, your hair tucked behind your ears and eyes moving like they’re looking for something.

“Why do you talk like that?” His full stare intimidates you, given this is the first time you’ve ever seen his eyes when they aren’t closed or covered by his hair. You tilt your head, confused. “Your sentences seem… broken.”

You play with your fingers, staring at his hand and wish you were playing with it. “It is hard for me to talk. I was laughed at. Words are in my head… but they don’t come out.” You summarize, hoping he’d understand. He nods slightly, noticing your friend come back from who knows where. She tosses something up before climbing the ladder. “I got a tent for him. But no mattress yet. How long have you been awake? Did you stretch yet?”

You shake your head, noticing Yuzu’s eyes drifting over to the man. “Come with us?” You ask, holding your hand out for him to take. He accepts, being pulled up onto his feet. “Okay?” You check in while he nods. You offer him some water, nearly finishing your whole bottle. You take him by the wrist, descending down the ladder and pulling him with you to the gate.

“Let’s go.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Your fingers hold onto the sleeve of the man’s jacket gently as you walk into the highway tunnel. In his first game, he never introduced himself to you, and you never saw his name on his phone screen, though you remembered his friends constantly screaming his name after each door. He later introduced himself as ‘Arisu’, Yuzu seeming to know his name already before you did.

The walk is long to the registration, Yuzu sighting a bus heavily graffitied a bit in. Your hand grips onto his arm, Arisu noticing. “Are you okay?” He asks. “Nervous. Always nervous… for new games.” You explain, hoping he’d understand.

You had a bad habit of holding onto people before entering registration. Before you met Yuzu, everyone you accidentally latched onto cursed at you, or shook you off their arm, which was understandable. No one likes a stranger randomly holding onto their arm out of nowhere. You just hated the fact it was your first instinct. When Yuzu came along, she was the first person to listen—to understand.

But Arisu was content with it. He didn’t swat you off, or stare at you weirdly. He simply let you be, holding onto his arm like a koala hugging a branch. You worried that your grip was too tight or that he could feel you shake, but he didn’t seem to react, so those worries went away eventually. You clung onto him the moment you stepped into the bus, taking one of the phones before noticing there were three other guys seated in the back.

They’ve played their last few games together, however, one of them was visibly injured. In a world like this, injury holds you back from everything, which puts you at risk of death. You felt sympathy for the man, but also felt intimidated by him and his friends given that they were staring at the three of you intently.

Arisu picks up his phone, looking at the names of the participants, landing on yours.

L/N Y/N

“Ryō…hei?” You stutter, looking at your phone. Arisu looks down at you, a bit confused. “Y/N calls people by their first name. Sometimes.” Yuzu explains, which cleared some things up, but it didn’t help a whole bunch. “Can I call you that?” You ask. “Can you call me Ryō?” He restates your question, being followed by an eager nod from you. He simply shrugs and nods, and you’re glad he doesn’t mind.

One of the men huffs. “Your girlfriend?” He gestures to you, making you let go of Ryō’s sleeve and hide behind him. He shakes his head. “We just met today. Yesterday. A previous game.” His idiocy makes Yuzu shake her head while you try to hold in your laughs from behind. However, the man doesn’t seem all too convinced. “Whatever you say.”

The phone chime sounds, the robotic voice drawing attention to them.

Registration is now closed. The game is about to commence.

Difficulty: Four of Clubs

This was a team game. Your favourite kind.

There are a total of six participants.

Game: Distance

Rule: Endure the trial while striving for the goal within the time limit.

Clear condition: Safely attain the goal.

The game will now commence. 120 minutes remaining.

You look out the driver’s window, the tunnel seeming like it goes on forever. Your eyes are drawn to the dashboard of the bus, specifically the fuel. “It’s empty. Can’t drive.” You say. “Looks like we’ll have to run.” Yuzu says, Ryō’s eyes landing on the injured man in the back. “What about Takuma?”

You’re lost in thought for a moment, not wanting to die but also not wanting to leave the man behind. “All of you, run. I’ll stay with Takuma.” Yuzu and Ryō look at you as if you’ve said something stupid. “What? Y/N, we have to run.”

“We will try to do something. If I die, I die. I am okay with that. I don’t want to leave ‘Kuma alone. I will take care of him.” Yuzu suddenly hugs you, which catches you off guard. She pulls away, her face with a trace of disdain as she walks off, along with the two men that sat in the back. Before Ryō can leave, you grab his hand. Your thumbs rest in his palm before you warn him. “Don’t worry. We will be okay. You have to be careful.” He squeezes your hand, visibly doubtful as he walks off the bus to join the other three outside.

You watch from the window as they all run off, seemingly shrinking as they get farther away. You sit in the back, closer to the man. “Kuma? Is that your name for me?” He asks lazily, relaxing against his seat. “Yeah. Sorry.” You suddenly become timid at the sound of him laughing. “Don’t be. It’s cute.”

“Are you… giving up?” You ask, wondering how he’s so unfazed. “I am still worried. But even though we aren’t running, I feel as though we’ve already won.” He looks up at you and your solemn face. “We can’t do anything about it now, can we? I know you wanted to help me, but is there really anything we can do?”

“I don’t want to die. I know you don’t either. But I’m injured, and the only thing that can heal that is time. There isn’t enough time in this game to go away. So I understand what you’re saying. If we die, we die.” He waits for you to say something, looking at you when you stay silent. “What’s on your mind?”

“The… difficulty… is low. Why are they running so far? It shouldn’t be that far if it is only Four of Clubs.”

Kuma puts together what you’re trying to say, the look of realization on his face. “You’re right. But then, where is the goal?” You notice the graffiti reaching the bottoms of the windows, remembering how the bus was covered in it. You get up, leaving the bus, fingers brushing against the outside walls. There was nothing but casual graffiti gibberish that you never understood on the side with the door.

The other side, however, had a word written big and in blue.

GOAL

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Usagi’s water bottle empties after she offers it to the three men, who finish it in a heartbeat. She’s stopped by Arisu, who held onto her shoulder for a brief moment to get her attention. “Your friend… she confuses me. Why does she do these things?” Usagi’s automatically suspicious of Arisu, viewing his question as an insult. “What do you mean?”

“She’s very physical with my hair, my arm, my hands. No one does that to someone they just meet.” Usagi scoffs. “She cares. She’s worried about you. She’s worried about everyone. That’s why she offered to stay back with Takuma. When she held you back in the bus, she was worried about you, knowing that you’re still grieving. Y/N is a physical person in general, violent or affectionate. The only reason she kept going with it is because you hadn’t pushed her away. If you want her to stop, tell her.”

He didn’t want you to stop. Not really want, but more like he didn’t mind the gesture. He wasn’t bothered by it; really, he enjoyed it in the moment. It was comforting— something he hadn’t felt ever since his first game. Usagi laughs. “You should’ve seen her during a team game. She annihilated everybody, then went back to being all shy at the end.”

Arisu tries to imagine it, the thought of you killing people you didn’t know in order to survive. The more he tried, the more he wanted to push the thought out of his mind. The girl that gets clingy and nervous before games, the girl who convinced him to live, taking the lives of total strangers without hesitation? Honestly, he didn’t believe it. He didn’t want to believe it.

He realizes that Usagi’s already began running from the trial, forcing himself to catch up with her, along with the other two men.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You’re pacing frantically down the walkway of the bus, forgetting that Kuma was sitting at the end of it. “L/N, what’s wrong?” His voice stops you, remembering you hadn’t told him yet. You looked like an idiot panicking over a reason he didn’t know. “The goal. We already won.”

“What?”

“They should have stayed. This is the goal. We are safe, they are not.” Kuma looks at you in disbelief, eyes wide. “Really? So… we’d survive?” You nod, looking at the graffiti on the window. “We have to do something! They’ve all ran and they need to get back here.”

You sigh, overwhelmed with emptiness. “We can’t.” You want to cry, but the tears aren’t there to flow. “What? What do you mean, we can’t?”

“They are too far. I can’t get them. Not enough time.” You say, sitting down next to him. His face is ridden with tears; he’s been crying all this time and you hadn’t noticed. You hug him, patting his head. You’re sure he’s confused as to why you’re doing this, but really it’s because you wish someone would comfort you the same way.

Suddenly, you hear footsteps, your head lifting up. “What happened?” Kuma sniffles. You get up, running to the door. “Someone is here.” You answer, him looking out the window. You step out of the bus, seeing someone running with a motorbike towards the bus. “L/N!” He calls, his messy, disheveled hair coming into a better view.

“Ryō!” You call, looking at the window where Kuma is looking out of, seeing that he noticed the bike too. Ryō runs over with the bike, both him and the hunk of metal leaning against the bus. You hug him, feeling a sense of relief that he would also survive. But then again, what about Yuzu?

“The bike,” he pants, “can fuel the bus. There’s diesel in here to fill the bus. We can drive and get Usagi and Yamane back.” You look at the bike, inspecting the shiny metal and the tank, hearing fuel sloshing around inside. You didn’t understand much about motorbikes or vehicles in general, but given that Ryō ran all the way back here with the bike convinced you that he knew what he was doing.

You explained everything to him, seeing the drive in his eyes to get Yamane and Usagi back grow in his gaze. Ryō stood behind you, Kuma in the driver’s seat. The voice on your phone reminds you, 5 minutes left. You hear a loud rumbling, telling Kuma to step on the gas. Tell is an understatement– you screamed at him.

He roughly avoided the cars on the highway street, ramming through the darker section where you see a body lay on the ground next to an animal you can’t define. As Kuma continues driving, you open the door, holding onto the bars and peeking your head out the window. You hear faint panting from a distance, the rumbling getting louder.

The sight of Yuzu running for her life from a flood of water chasing after her comes into view. You hold out your hand, screaming her name. Kuma’s foot slams on the pedal, speeding towards her. The water barely touches Yuzu’s heels as you grab her hand, pulling her into the bus and closing the door before the water could flood in.

And for a few moments, it’s dark.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

A drop of water falls on your face. Then another, then another. You think of getting up, until you noticed you were resting on Ryō’s chest.

Thank god you survived, but what is life if you woke up in the most awkward situation ever?

Yuzu laid next to you, and Kuma stayed in his own little area in the driver’s corner. You shake Yuzu, forcing her awake along with Ryō. He then proceeds to wake up Kuma, opening the door above all of you since he was the tallest one there. He struggles, but manages to climb out first, Yuzu following, then you, then all three of you making an effort to pull Kuma out of the door.

“The bus is the goal. There was no point in running.” All of you stare down at the word ‘GOAL’, painted in bright blue on the side of the bus you were standing on. Yuzu jumps down first, followed by you, Ryō, then Kuma. Ryō’s hand still clasps onto yours even after he helped you jumped down, bidding Kuma a regretful goodbye in hopes of seeing him again somehow.

Trying to be completely realistic, you’d probably never see him again, and that alone made it more sad.

He doesn’t seem to notice that he’s holding your hand, squeezing it every once in a while, specifically when you see him noticeably about to cry. “Y/N, let go of him. Unless you asked first.” Yuzu notices, making you embarrassed and pull your hand away. “I actually did it first. Sorry, Y/N, I didn’t notice. L/N. I meant L/N.” Ryō apologizes, but you shake your head, assuring him that it was okay.

Deep inside, you wished he didn’t let go.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Yuzu had gone out for the next few days— sometimes you tagged along with her if you woke up early enough that she’d already left. You both had gotten intel on something called The Beach, and were planning to pack up and leave eventually to scour. She’s been going out to gather supplies for hunting and for shelter, including refills of water.

When you woke up to see Yuzu wasn’t laying next to you, you found solace with Ryō. He continued to talk about his friends, how they’d gotten here and how he witnessed them sacrifice themselves just for him to survive, knowing that they’d have to pick someone to live. He never understood why, and that is what he explained to you.

The entire time, your head rested on this shoulder, your hand playing with his own. “There are gaps in your heart you that cannot fill. That is what I’ve learned in this world.” You pause, piecing together a sentence in your head. “There is no time for grief. There is no time for anything.” You rest your hand on top of his with a sigh. “Do not let grief affect your need to win in games. You must focus, or you will break the last promise your friends made to you.”

“Hard for you to talk, huh?” He jokes, his shoulders lifting as he laughs, relaxing after. “How come you do all this?” You look at him, confused. “Like… this,” He shakes his hand that rests underneath yours. “And this.” He lifts the shoulder where your head rests. “You’re always next to me. Girls are never this close with me.”

You scoff, laughing, your fingers brushing over the back of his hand for a moment. “I wish someone cared for me like this. After my mom died.” There’s definitely a lack of closure in that sentence, which made the air awkward. “I want to… give you what I did not have. I hope you don’t mind. I can stop if you want.”

“No, it’s okay. I really don’t mind. Thank you. It’s just… I guess I never had anyone comfort me like this either.” Comfort. That’s the word. You mutter it quietly to yourself, remembering what it meant. You hadn’t felt it in a while as well, only feeling most comfortable whenever you stayed with Yuzu. Eventually, you found comfort in Ryō as well.

You traced patterns on Ryō’s hand, sometimes even spelling out words. It became a hobby of yours, and sometimes he’d try to guess what you were writing as well. “B…” He started, feeling the letters on his hand. “E, A, C, H…” He looked up at you with wonder in his eyes, being able to see something past his dark irises. “The Beach?” He says it as if it was something glorified. You nod, him grabbing your wrists. “What is the Beach? Do you know? Have you been there?” You’re overwhelmed by the questions he asks you, trying to process all of them at once.

“No. I heard another person talk about the Beach. I told Yuzu. Then she heard someone talk about it too. We want to know what it is.” You explain. Something lights up in Ryō’s head, the idea being explained to you. “Some people I’ve seen wore wristbands. They had numbers on them.”

“Follow. We will follow them.” You add, Ryō nodding eagerly.

“We’ll start looking. For supplies, then we’ll search at night. You can convince Usagi, can’t you?” You nod, only half sure of it. You felt that Ryō had a better chance of convincing her for some odd reason. Yuzu still intimidated Ryō— you could tell. He’d always seem… nervous around her.

Your hands are clasped together, his own covering them with a soft grip. “Don’t worry. We’ll make it out. We’ll stick together.”

That was a week ago.

Meanwhile Yuzu offered to take the solo tent as you were sleeping in a park during your period of locating the Beach. Her and Ryō bickered about it until she finally won (like usual), meaning that he’d have to sleep in the same tent as you.

Beside you.

You totally weren’t freaking out over it. Why was Yuzu so persistent to sleep alone anyways?

Except Ryō offered to sleep outside, in the grass, where all the bugs flew around. You heard slaps from outside repeatedly, trying to fall asleep. The thing with heightened hearing was that you heard everything. Almost everything. You heard the bugs buzz outside, you heard the soft pants of Ryō every time he slapped himself. It didn’t take you long to be so bothered by it, nearly breaking the zipper to open the tent.

“Come inside. Stop slapping your face.” You say sternly, visibly bothered. Ryō pauses for a second, kicking his shoes off before scrambling inside and zipping the tent shut. He looks at you, laying down normally, just realizing how close the two of you would be. You look back at him taking a deep breath after simply patting the spot beside you.

He lays down slowly, holding his breath, shoulders tense and tight. “Calm down. It’s only me.” You mutter, turning towards him. Your nose nudges his upper arm, your hand resting on top of his. You can hear his heart racing, yet he still didn’t listen to you. “Ryō. You’re okay.” You reassure, hearing him exhale and feeling his shoulders relax. Your eyes flutter shut in an attempt to fall asleep. His arm didn’t move, but you felt the tips of his fingers touch yours.

Just before you drift off, you feel his hand hold onto yours, his touch soft and comforting.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

This wasn't part of the plan.

You were being restrained by two men in bathing suits, being dragged into a large room where a bunch of people were standing in a circle. You tried to flail, but their grip on you was too strong. You first catch sight of Yuzu and Ryō, who are relieved to see that you were okay. "Y/N!"

“Ah, you three must know each other.” The man in front of you says, his orange robe blocking your vision. All your cards are laid out on the table, but it’d be too risky to grab them with two people guarding them with firearms.

From what the man said, there were three rules. You must wear a swimsuit, since firearms and/or weapons could not be concealed. Enjoy your life as much as you can, whether that be through doing drugs, having sex, or drowning yourself in alcohol. Lastly, death to the traitors, meaning the three of you didn’t have a choice but to accept if you wanted to live.

“L/N, Usagi… I’m sorry… for getting you involved.”You hear Ryō whisper from behind, your head slowly dropping, body language displaying that it was okay. “Don’t apologize. We were in this together.”

Judging from the man’s laugh, who you later learned was nicknamed ‘Hatter’, you were now a part of The Beach, like little pawns designed to win games that didn’t fully guarantee the benefit of being able to leave the hellish world.

You were sent into a room with one of the executives and Yuzu, being showed an array of swimsuits; one pieces, two pieces, bikinis, swim shorts, they had all kinds. Both of you darted for the same set, long shorts and a simple bra top, but let your friend have hands on it first, finding another one, black with swirls of grey on it, the top more cropped and shorter bottoms. You look at the executive, her arms crossed and sunglasses on, seeing her nod.

Before you leave, both you and Yuzu snagged an extra garment, a jacket and a thin robe, running into Ryō by the pool. His eyes land on both of you, but he’s drawn to you in particular, the way your robe is meant to cover but doesn’t do that at all considering it’s see through. Your chest, your waist, your thighs– he was being a pervert. He snapped out of it, looking away immediately.

And you walk over all innocent, checking your wristband in sync with Usagi, your own eyes trailing over his figure. He mostly looked the same, yet he seemed more stiff than usual. People had eyes on you, everyone you looked, there were stares coming from the bar, the poolside, even the beach chairs.

Your hand naturally drifts over to Ryō’s, toying with his fingers to distract you. He must have noticed something more, instead holding your hand fully with a tight grip. He doesn’t let go of you the whole day, afraid he’d lose you in the crowds.

The only time he let go was when everyone was separated into groups for individual games. The woman who was with you in the dressing room had Ryō following her, and you couldn’t help but feel your heart crack a little. Your eyes meet for a brief moment before he leaves, and he swears he can see the light in your eyes dim for a moment.

You managed to come back alive, and so did Yuzu, yet Ryō was nowhere to be found. As you walked down the never ending halls of the large resort, she brings up a topic you haven’t discussed once in your life.

“You like him, don’t you?”

At first, you’re confused as to who him is, then remember that there was only one him in the first place.

“Ryō?”

“You’ve been close with him. Touchy.” You nod, agreeing with her points. “You’ve always been that way, but there’s something… different. Different when it comes to Arisu.”

Your head tilts slightly, wondering how that could be. “You’re comfortable with him. You don’t second guess and always go for it. I’ve seen the way your face goes red when he accepts your gesture. The way you smile when he leans closer to you to make your habits of playing with his fingers more discreet. When he smiles at you, and you’re left lovestruck with your mouth hanging open.”

“Of course I like Ryō. He is my friend.”

“Not that like…” Yuzu searches for the words in her head, trying to put them together in a way you’d understand, but deciding to be straightforward. “You like him in a way you want to kiss him.”

You heat up from that thought alone. Kissing your friend? You weren’t sure if you were blushing from the thought of you liking it or the thought that it was embarrassing. “I haven’t… kissed anyone.” Yuzu looks around, dragging you into an empty hotel room and locking the door, letting you sit on the bed.

“Have there been times where you think of… inappropriate things involving him?”

“Sex?”

“…Sure. Sex thoughts.”

You sit there for a moment, embarrassed that you have thought about such dirty things. But Yuzu was right there, waiting for an answer, and you couldn’t get out of it despite having the choice to not say anything.

“His hands.”

“What about his hands?”

The image replays in your head like a movie. “On my waist, my hips, my thighs…” You list, unable to make eye contact with your friend. “His fingers…” You look down between your legs, not wanting to go into detail. “His lips.” Your hand brushes over your chest briefly before moving it back to your side.

“Aren’t you a virgin?”

“I know things. I’ve seen things.”

“But do you like Arisu for who he is? That’s the big question. Because if you don’t, I think you’ll hurt him.”

“I’ve always liked his personality. There are… things we… keep between ourselves that others don’t know about. I really like him, I do. It feels wrong to think such… dirty things about him. I can’t help it.” Yuzu sits down next to you, feeling a dip in the mattress on your left. “I ran into Kuina while walking around the club when you two stayed by the bar. She said to live life while I still could. And she mentioned you.”

“Me?”

“Even though we’re newcomers, she noticed you and Arisu. Even she could see the tension, despite never knowing what was going on between you two.” She holds your hands gently, one hand under and the other on top. “I’m not encouraging any… sexual activities… but I think you should tell him.”

“Tell him… I like him?”

“If he says no, I’ll kill him. And you of all people should know I will take that to heart. I feel this is the only time I’ve seen you so open, especially with Arisu. If that’s what it takes to see you like that all the time, then I hope you’ll go for it.” You smile and hug her, eventually feeling her take you in her own arms. “I will run back to you if it does not go well.” You state before you pull away. Both of you leave the room together, Yuzu going on her own after spotting a girl with a bikini top and jeans from afar.

You mindlessly check downstairs, outside, the club, and eventually back into the hallways, running into Ryō by the stairs.

“Y– L/N.”

“Y/N is okay.” You assure, walking with him close enough to have your fingers brushing against each other. “How was your game?” He asked. “Good. Easy.”

“Of course it was.”

It’s silent for a moment, and you pick up on a tinge of alcohol coming from Ryō. “Did you drink?” You ask, the scent not strong but prominent. “A little bit. Hatter wanted to discus with me. I’m not drunk.” You eye him, believing he’s telling the truth after not finding anything different about his mannerisms. “I managed to get a suite.” He says.

“How?”

“I played with Ann. The executive. Then Hatter talked to me and I got the room.”

“So… you are an executive now?”

“No. Hatter said I was… beneficial.”

Ryō takes your hand, guiding you up one more flight of stairs and opening the room, revealing a large space with a cozy seating area, a large window with the curtains closed, and a massive, made bed. His jacket is hanging in the bathroom, soaked and dripping but left to dry with a towel underneath.

“What happened to your robe?” He notices, looking back at you. “Held me back. Threw it during my game.”

You look at the door. “Should we tell Yuzu this room?”

“I already did. I ran into her before I found you.” You anxiously scratch the palm of your hand, staring at his shirt. “What’s wrong? Is there something bothering you?” You shake your head, the scratching intensifying. He grabs your wrists, separating your hands. “Don’t do that. You might scratch too hard and bleed.” He notices your hands shaking, knowing if he let go that you would continue.

“What’s the matter?” He asks, his grip loosening. Your heart is pounding, unable to make eye contact with him. “I want… to tell you something.” You stutter, breath shaky. Ryō could feel the pulse point on your wrist, unclear but fast thumps against his thumb. “I like you.”

His eyes widen, and he almost lets go, but instead you grab his hand and place it against your chest, feeling your heartbeat just as fast as he did from your wrist. He was trying so hard not to stare at your tits at the same time.

“I’m scared.” You mutter, hiding your face.

“Why?”

“That you’ll hate me… since you don’t… like me back.”

“Who said I didn’t like you back?”

You look up at him for the first time since you’ve entered the room, and his look is genuine. Your hand stays on his wrist, but he moves his own hand up your neck, a sudden chill shaking your body. He tilts your head up to make up for the height, and kisses you.

He’s kissing you, and you’re kissing him.

The moment his lips are on yours, you don’t want to let go. You wanted to kiss him for as long as you could, be in his arms for as long as they could hold you. You’re both a mess of tongue and lips, and you couldn’t get enough of it. You wanted more than he could give.

You both stumble over to the bed, being the first to lay down with Ryō hovering over you. His chest presses against your tits as he leans into you, making you groan. He pulls away, a whine emitting from you, his finger barely slipping under the band of your bra, looking at you endearingly. “Can we do this? I want to make you feel good. Please.” He practically moans, and you don’t even have to think, nodding profusely.

Maybe it’s the fact you’re horny as fuck right now, as he is, but god, you wanted to see him beg for you so bad. Seeing the position he was in right now, pleading for your consent, the way his eyebrows furrowed in desperation, you wanted to be the only one that could make him do that.

And by the end of the night, you certainly did.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Clothes are strewn on the floor, the light barely shines through the crack of the curtains. There’s a naked man laying next to you in bed, snoring softly with his mouth slightly open. His hair messy and his arm under your head, he lays there peacefully, his own eyes fluttering open and squeezing shut after being hit with the light of the sun. He opens them to see you, and your glowing, post-sex face.

“Hi.” You greet, further leaning on his arm. “Hi.” He replies, hand curling around your head to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “You’re so pretty.” He says, fingers playing with your hair.

“You are.”

He doesn’t retaliate and simply smiles, giving you your first kiss of the day. He breaks eye contact first, lost in thought. “Does this change anything between us?” He asks, looking back at you. “I don’t want this to be a one time thing. I… that was… really nice.” He refers to the night before with a smile, unashamed.

“I want… to be more… than friends.” The words come out staggered, but he understands, his smile growing slightly. “But I don’t want this to… hold us back in games. If we lose each other, we won’t join the other. The other… must stay alive. I don’t want me or you to give up… because the other half isn’t there anymore. Can you promise that?” There’s a tinge of worry in his eyes, but it slowly changes to understanding as your hand cups his jaw. He nods. “I promise.”

You kiss him once more, bringing the two of you back onto each other again. His free hand rests on your waist, moving to your back to push you closer, then down to your ass, your leg on top of his side.

“Jesus, I thought you two were done already.”

Yuzu is staring at you from a distance by the corner of the wall, seeing one of your undergarments on the floor. “Get dressed, we need to find more intel. Y/N, you can stay with Arisu, since you’re already with him anyways.” She eyes the position you’re in right now, looking at Arisu, then at you. “I’m assuming it went well.”

You nod. “It did.”

“I knew it would. I knew he liked you anyways. I was going to come in until I heard what was going on. You left the door unlocked. Lucky you two were so loud no one dared to walk in.” She leaves the room, the two of you back to admiring each other in the glow of the covered sunlight.

“I could never hate you, by the way. I feel like you’re the reason I’m still alive right now. Everything you said stuck with me… and I guess it kept pushing me to live.”

“What if I die? Would you… still have the will to live?”

“I’d keep living if that was your last dying wish.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

i want to say hi to you. i have no reason to. 🎧

[bi-luminescentdragon]

So yesterday, my 6 year old discovered I am bisexual. He was watching me play Stardew Valley (this is my gamer kid. He loves to play anything you give him, and he'd rather watch us play video games than watch TV). Well in this file of Stardew, my female farmer is married to Haley, and I was speaking to her and doing the daily hug/heart stuff. Well, my kid made the comment "why you love her? You like boys." (Mind you, we live in the Bible Belt, and they have fairly strong conservative Christian grandparents, and they go to a heavily Christian influenced charter school. Im also married to their dad, so at face value, I seem straight. So I don't blame him) Well, my response was, of course, "I like boys AND girls." His eyes got wide, and he pretended to dramatically faint. "WHAT?!?!" And that was it. No arguments, no questions. Just acceptance. So yeah, that's how I was outted to my kids. Lmao. As if they wouldn't figure it out when they got older and saw all the Bi pride flags around my house.

[jxcotts]

what's your honest opinion about the love interests? (both mcl and eldarya)

for example, no matter how handsome some of them are, I just can't like them (in fact, most of them are annoying to me)

ugh no yall gonna hate me forever lmao- ANYWAYS🥹

nath & nevra: they are so similar, their story, behavior so its pretty easy to love them both (i mean if they r your type lol), they can do no wrong😎 i cant really express my love for them, but yall know how much they mean to me so WHATEVER, just stan them !

armin: ahh he's such a cutie but also was very thoughtless, he did some bad shit in high school, but idk i just love him so much, best friends brother AND the gamer boyfriend trope are VERY entertaining💋

kentin: yeah well im not that okay w going from good boy to bad boy bc why???? and he was pretty rude to candy, when they were childhood friends and she did nothing wrong to him so i didnt understand it, but when he changed he was such a cutie. alternate life kentin is just ughhh THE CUTEST.

castiel: the good girl x bad boy trope is awesome, but sometimes he's an asshole, especially when he teases nath (high school), hate him for that, but his character development was cool and tbh i really REALLY like him w amber so... i have to say that she would've been the better choice, not candy. DON'T HATE ME. they were just more interesting TO ME. he and candy r lovely as friends tho <3

priya & hyun: they are cute and good friends! priya deserves everything and more <3

rayan: unpopolar opinion: hes ugly. and what the fuck. a teacher? lol.

eric: 😆 you dont want me to talk about this shithead, worst """love interest""" ever. please, you cant even call him as it lmao

lysander: well... ah please dont exile me, but hes a colorless character. the whole person is boring as hell to me.

ezarel: MAN I MISS HIM SM... hes such a silly character, im mad beemoov didnt bring him back in s2 and that nevra never talks abt him when they were like brothers. id love to see him and miiko in ep 20 (im a delulu<3).

leiftan: idk i just love his demonic side and his obsession with erika in s1🤭🤭 he's so supportive, but in s2 his story is so sad lol, he deserves better. he's not even that happy anymore-,, i love the tension between him and nevra lmaoo

valkyon: :) i love him as a friend and he def deserves so much better. i wish they could bring him back:/

uhh... help. ill be short.

the traitors: so... lance in s1 was EVERYTHING. i loved how cute he was with erika once or twice lol, but still, as the enemy its something. i just dont understand why beemoov didnt see the potential in season ONE ; the enemies to lovers trope would have been the greatest. seriously. uhm... no comment for season 2. i hate him as much as i can, lets be honest he looks like an annoying rat (SORRY) and im sorry beemoov, but i will NOT accept the enemies to lovers NOW after he killed his brother. erika had every opportunity to kill him, but ofc beemoov, keep him.

yeah about mathieu, hes as colorless as lysander, but even more.

manifesting an execution for both <3 (still a delulu😘)

if you still like me after all this, i love u:')

[milgramprojectfan]

While I’m waiting for Kotoko’s MV to drop so I can continue my overview passion project, here’s Milgram, but Danganronpa? Comment if you have any better ideas for their Ultimates

(Someone’s probs done this before, but idc. Im not going anywhere with this so if someone wants to use my ideas just tag me in your post lol)

Jackalope obvi as Monokuma

Es as the protagonist, and Ultimate Warden

Haruka as something like the Ultimate lucky student maybe? Maybe Ultimate Taxidermist or smth he doesn’t have a lot going for him

Yuno as the Ultimate Companion, but she’s secretly the ultimate Sugar-baby? Weird ultimate but it fits her story lol. Ultimate Model or Pop Idol would fit her too but idk

Fuuta as the Ultimate Competitive Gamer? Graffiti artist? Online Harrasser? Social Justice Warrior? There’s a lot he could be tbh

Muu the Ultimate Affluent Prodigy or some nothing talent she just paid for cuz she’s rich (or is she?). She’d definitely be a big antagonist.

Shidou as the Ultimate Doctor

Mahiru as the Ultimate Influencer or maybe Matchmaker. Maybe Model?

Kazui as the Ultimate Salaryman idk I can’t think of anything else

Amane as the Little Ultimate Animal Caretaker

Mikoto would probably forget his Ultimate, but I don’t want a Toko/Jill situation so he’d die first like Rantaro 😭

Kotoko as the Ultimate Vigilante, like if Maki was super upfront about her talent. I also see her being the main antagonist

Ok so I think 11 people isn’t nearly enough to make an interesting story… so… I’m adding some more (plus pictures to show what they look like). I think some of them would be like plus ones, so there’d be a talent vs no talent dynamic

Haruka’s mom as like an Ultimate Caregiver (but she sucks at her job), maybe Haruka could be her plus one?

Yuno’s sugar daddy as the Ultimate CEO (also this is legit the only picture I could find 😭)

Fuuta’s victim as the Ultimate Student or smth idk we don’t really know her. Maybe some sort of gaming or internet ultimate would fit

Rei as the ultimate Amateur Investigator

Shidou’s wife as the Ultimate Florist? That or Ultimate Housewife which… isn’t really a good ultimate. Could be Shidou’s plus one

Mahiru’s Boyfriend has no personality so he would just be a plus one to Mahiru

Kazui’s wife as the ultimate salary woman? Honestly no clue, maybe another plus one situation

Amane’s mom as the Ultimate religious zealot

We don’t know much about the other two’s victims, so I’m just gonna add those two main bully girls of Muu, (Aa and Sayu are their names apparently). Since they were friends at one point, I could see Muu bringing one as a plus one and just paying for one of them being the ultimate lucky student.

For the plot I’d say everyone would come to the prison under different pretenses (like Muu’s gang would think it’s a super prestigious academy, Muu and her bf think it’s a couple’s retreat, Shidou and his wife think it’s a place to get treatment for her, etc.) Then Jackalope reveals the real purpose and traps them in the prison. I’d say a minimum of like three people would have to die per trial for there to be an acceptable amount of survivors.

Some plot things I think would happen, Mikoto probs would die first (just cuz he’s messy). Then after learning the rules Kotoko would murder one or two people she deems evil (maybe Yuno’s Sugar daddy and Amane’s mom or smth), cuz only the first death matters. Then I think she’d do that a couple trials, before someone fakes their death (probably Muu) and gets Kotoko executed. Also I think it’d be interesting if pretty early on Es would be revealed as the Mastermind, and the perspective would switch to Rei. I think for the third trial, like how in the og games there’s a double kill, there’d be a HUGE blood bath that like cuts down all of the just extra space characters.

[woofdrm]

My heart fucking hurts. I cant help but hope for things to be better. But deep inside, i know why he gets treated that way. It was never about minecraft, wasnt it? It wasnt about his content nor his "problematic and parasocial" fans. Deep inside, I know how they see him "weak and pathetic", I know how they despise him for being geniune. I know they dont like him because he acts "girl-ish".

And i hate this but i see how they hate him because he represents change. He was home schooled in fucking fl, having a republican background. And he does makeup, he wears bracelets and colorful beanies, he acts affectionate with his friends. He accepts his mistakes, tries to be a better person. Creates a safe space for minorities, actively supports them.

It was never about minecraft. It was never about Dream. Its the way that someone with a perfect background to be an avg republican tries to change. Its the way hes evolved under the spotlight. They see a part of themselves in him. They are scared to be like him. They are scared of changing. In their mindset, femininity synonyms with being "weaker"

19 year-old Dream was an avg white gamer. Now he is the biggest english minecraft cc. He is openly queer. He is neurodivergent. He uplifts poc and disabled persons in his community. Hes way different from the "norm"

He shows everyone can change. It scares them. I dont think the hate will stop till our society becomes more open about changing. I can only hope they appreciate him more in future.

(Sorry for the rant im just disappointed against life)

You nailed it all one anon. That’s it. And that’s why they want him to fail.

[tomatosoupgroup]

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO (hello)

welcome to screen shot saturday video gamers

it's ya girl

callie

let's get right into the updates!

except...

i. i had a VERY busy week. school has been metaphorically beating my metaphorical ass metaphorically

so i uh.

don't really have a lot to show this week.

so what do we do??? do we cancel screenie saturday???

NO

you FOOL

THE SHOW MUST GO ON

and i have an idea for how it could!

remember these equations?

these are the equations for the amount of hp an enemy spawns in with and the amount of exp an enemy gives upon defeat respectively

the first and third from the top are the originals, while the second and fourth are simplified versions.

this may seem complicated! that's probably because it is.

you know i'm not constantly doing the same equations by hand. that would be fucking terrible. so how do i do all this?

INTRODUCING....

THIS PYTHON CODE I WROTE LAST WEEK!

it's a bit complex, but it can all be explained in this four step process...

it'll ask for all the important variables. (min/max lvl an enemy can spawn with, min/max effort values, infection status, etc etc)

then, it'll run them through the equations, and output the result!

that's it!

no seriously. that's it.

also apparently i wrote an equation for how much damage an enemy can do, but it seems like i didn't write it down for whatever reason...?

thanks past callie you rock

i guess i'll spend the rest of my post talking about a bit of a concern of mine.

you may have noticed that when I'm writing, I write properly. but when i'm typing my tweets or gamedev updates, i kinda...don't.

that has made me feel a bit conscious, i may be implying that i'm not the one writing, or something like that.

let's clear things up with a little QnA with yours truly!:

Q: Why do you type properly when writing, but improperly when posting?

A: writing stuff out takes time! i usually feel like posting (ESPECIALLY tweeting) is like a spur-of-the-moment kinda deal. like it's a quick thought that i convert to words.

Q: But why the gamedev updates?

A: first of all, i feel like there's two types of brand (Disclaimer: Tomato Soup Group is not a legally defined brand.) accounts:

the ones who act all professional and proper

the ones who act silly to gain attention

while i can see the approach for both options, i'm not really a big fan of either one.

but you see, dear reader. i have been blessed with an aspect that i have not revealed to you yet.

when companies (Disclaimer: Tomato Soup Group is not a legally defined company.) try strategy number 2, they're trying to appeal to a specific audience.

y'know, "hEy!!!!!!!! we're cool too!!! we're just like you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! buy our product"

let's call this audience the "twitter freaks" cuz this mainly happens on twitter

i mean, i would know.

because I AM A TWITTER FREAK MYSELF.

THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT

READ EM AND WEEP CHAT.

I GET A FREE PASS!

AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE (Disclaimer: Tomato Soup Group is not a legally defined brand, business, and/or company. For that reason, the main head of the group, Callie, is able to remain as a part of her own audience. This is literally just how she acts.)

Q: Do you use AI for any part of the project?

A: i use it to clean up spotty code occasionally.

it's always a last resort. like an "UGHHHHHHHHH IM SO TIRED BUT I GOTTA GET THIS WORKING BEFORE I GO TO BEDDDDDD" situation.

the code the ai generates is also seen as a "placeholder" of sorts, as most of that code must be rewritten for it to work perfectly.

tldr: i use it for quick patches to my spaghetti code, and that's about it.

Q: Do you use AI to write your work?

A: NO. i would never let my work be tainted by soulless hands.

Q: Do you have other writers?

A: nope! i will accept suggestions, but ultimately, all writing will be done by me and me only.

to clarify, i'm not against the idea of having other writers!! that's fine and valid.

but i feel like (and this may sound silly) i'm the only one who truly understands these characters.

although it may not seem like it right now, these characters have an EXTREME amount of depth to them.

so much so, that i feel like their story is worth sharing.

that's why i always sound so excited when updating!!!!! because it's actually how i feel for these characters.

i hope that one day in the future, i'll be able to show you the true magnitude of the depths.

Q: Why do all the characters have Japanese names?

A: oh, that's a simple one! a lot of the game is inspired by jpop, and the names are just kind of a reference to that.

i'm not intending to misappropriate a culture i am not a part of, i'm just a really big fan of jpop. i put it on whenever i do any work.

and then i do that neurodivergent thing where i imagine an animated music video involving my characters

like, for example:

i've been listening to お気に召すまま by Eve. (Also known by its English title: As You Like It) a lot lately.

i recommend you give this a listen:

from what i can tell, the song is about the complex emotions that the main character experiences when trying to confess to a girl. the hand man represents a part of him he doesn't like, the other versions of himself represent the other sides of his personality, etc. etc.

now THIS COULD BE WRONG. but if it's true, then i feel like this song would really resonate with rikiyo.

he would relate to how the main character's emotions seem to get in the way, because he's going through something similar.

he's scared to tell toshi he loves him for many reasons, one of which being his own emotions.

oops! hope i didn't give too much away there!

anyways thatll be it for tonight

sorry for the lack of progress, i'll try to get some done during this week!

love you all

-Callie

[penneferofvenerburg]

A HEART FULL OF LOVE CHAPTER FOUR

Title: A heart full of love

Henry Cavill x Georgina Biswell

@jolly-polly @kebabgirl67 @themanfromu @endofalldays01 @greensleeves888 @starstruckkittyangel @luclittlepond @agniavateira @thelastsock @myloveforhenrycavill @eldarwen333 @everleigh44 @libbymouse @needmorereading @marytudorbrandon @amberangel112 @cynic-spirit @cherry-gemz @enchantedbytomandhenry @wheretheriversrunintothesea @dedicated-to-mr-cavill @henrycavillfanfics @elizabetharegina etc:)

******************************************************************

Georgina could not stop her heart racing, she had tried breathing slowly to rid herself of the fangirl feeling internally, the two dogs were snoozing beneath the tree not fair out Henry's and Georgie's sight.

" so tell me something about yourself"! Henry smiled kindly at her, as they continued to chat sitting on the grass, Georgie didn't know where to put herself honestly she could have died instantly when Henry appeared out nowhere as if by ' magic'.

" ah theres not all that much to tell really! I'm just me and I love my books readings my thing when I get the time for it"! Georgie answered him.

This young girl intrigued him and he suddenly felt something for this young attractive bright little thing.

" Just say if you don't want to! Will you at least allow me to take you for coffee"? Henry politely asked with his charming smile. Georgina had read and seen pictures of him with fans and they said how sweet he was.

To that end, Georgie smiled graciously up at him as he stood he was so tall 6ft 1inch and with muscles of a heavenly God how could she refuse.

" I'd like that Thankyou Henry"! Came her sweet reply.

As he stood he held his hands to help her up off the grass.

" Come my dear Lady! Let's get the dogs and head out of his cold you must freezing here"! Henry offered gallantly taking off his brown winter outdoor jacket and placing it round Georgina's shoulders.

thanks Henry! Won't you be cold"? Georgie asked as they called the two snoozing dogs clipping their leads back to their collars they begun the walk toward the coffee shop in the park.

Kal, Henry's adorable black and white American atkita happily trotted alongside him while Frodo was in front of Georgie.

" shall we"? Henry asking Georgie gently as she at once accepted his offer of his toned arm. They both stepped off the grass onto the path.

" What kinda books do you like to read"? Henry continued to ask with a polite smile.

" oh! I have a lit books at home! Mainly historical but I suppose the thing I'm into more is fantasy"! Georgie had now officially unleashed her real passion.

Henry nodded " historical and fantasy! Blimey quite the lethal combination there"! He jested.

Georgie laughed " Haha! You might think so! Not to me though I'll admit I am tempted to dive into the Witcher books though"!

Henry was surprised to learn that she had not yet gotten into the books already, " oh I love them! I've read oooh all eight of them"!

" All eight? No you haven't... you can't have done in one go"! Georgie asked incredulously.

" yes I did ok not in one sitting though! I read one after the other now I've played the Witcher 3 through twice"! Henry confessed.

" wow! That must've have took some discipline"! Georgie chuckled at him knowing full well that he was a serious gamer.

Henry made a face then answered " no not really! You just pretend the character"! At that moment Georgie wanted to confess to knowing who he was but something stopped her.

" I also love Warhammer 40,000 that's my hobby and when I'm not at work im either gaming or reading"! Henry smiled at her.

" what is warhammer if you don't mind telling me"? Georgie asked.

" Right! So you've got lots if different Armies all from different Kingdoms and in order to defeat the enemy you have to maintain your stronghold and wait for the enemy to show"! Henry explained in a soft tone.

Henry was totally head over heels for this woman but he didn't want to scare her off they had arrived at the coffee shop and he showed Georgie inside " Ladies First"! He smiled as he held the door for her. " Thankyou"! She murmured as she walked on in, the smell of coffee hitting her almost instantly.

" What would you like"? Henry asked her, he was a true gentlemen and there weren't many of them about these days. Mercifully Georgie had the patience to wait.

" What's your favourite coffee"? Georgie asked him.

" a lattè I think I'll go for that then Thankyou henry"! Georgie answered with a nervous smile.

The two dogs patiently waited outside while their owners were getting drinks, " why don't you keep on eye the dogs I'll get these"! Henry suggested.

Frodo, seemed to like Henry, as did Kal his American Akita who was huge like a bear a fluffy black and white bear.

After 20 minutes Henry returned to the table where Georgie was with the dogs Frodo and Kal, some strange reason Kal was refusing to leave Georginas side she happily gave him a fuss " fluffy bear yes you are great big fluffy bear bear"! Georgie fussed over him Henry watched on to see what his fluffy pet would do, it seemed he was fond of this woman that theyd just met down at the dog park.

Chevilous Henry ever the gent helped Georgina sit down outside on the pinick bench, once settled they begun to talk again whilst the two pooches snoozed beneath the bench at their feet.

" Is that what you do when you have a day off work.... play abit of Warhammer"! Georgina quizzed with a smile that her blue sparkly eyes. " yes I also read books too"! Henry heard a sigh of relief leave her, " that was a big sigh for little woman"! Henry smiled with a wink. " Something we have in common"! Georgina lamented, he could not stop but focus on that lovely smile.

" Exactly"! Henry smiled.

" what do tour family say about you having ' gaming geekness'? Georgina chuckled Henry's eyes went wide ' Gaming Geekness I like that where did you get that one from"? Henry asked her with a affectionate smile.

" In answer to your question .... my family support in it they love it as much as I do"! Came his reply.

" Wait a minute! You and your brothers play Warhammer together"? Georginas eyes widened " oh no not more gaming geekies yikes I'm going to have seriously brush up on Warhammer .... wheres best to start"? Georgina asked.

Henry was laughing now ....

" it's just genuinely best to start at base post"! Henry repiled.

[lord-westley]

I like to think my life is fairly drama free, but then once a year I somehow end up with Boy Drama.

The first time, he was apart of an old friend group, and he constantly told me stuff that irritated me. Like "you should grow your hair out, i like girls with long hair" and im like "no thanks i prefer short hair to spite people". I cant remember what happened exactly but there were arguments in the group so i ended up blocking him as he started getting creepy.

The second time, he was an old friend from the previous friend group but like OG OG friend group before it got bigger and we chatted for a while. He used to have a crush on me but I didn't realize it cause I'm lowkey aroace. I jokingly searched his username on tiktok and found out he was an Andrew Tate follower, so i ghosted and blocked him out of lowkey fear.

The Third Time was out in the wilds, this worker at a grocery store noticed I was a gamer due to my hoodie, and we joked and he asked for my discord so we could play games at some point. and This was my first like guy encounter in the wilds so i panicked and went along with it. He was pretty weird and creeped me out, to the point i had a group chat with friends asking for help, and we played 20 questions and I discovered THINGS, so i blocked him. I avoided that grocery store like the plague for like 5 months.

AND NOW, for the Forth time! It begins today! Remember Second Time guy, Andrew Tate follower guy? He has a pretty specific name that is like "if you see it- theres no way it ISNT him". I awoke to a friend request on discord with His name. I ofc panic a bit and talk to mom and i was contemplating if I wanna humor it or ignore it.... And i have come to conclusion to humor it. So now, i have accepted his friend request, and sent a message of "Hi, do i know you or was this an accidental friend request?"

THIS TIME ROUND I WILL BE MAKING THE DRAMA

[byloisann]

introduction post

hi, i'm new to tumblr so I'm not exactly sure how I want to format this but this is an introduction post and also my first ever post on tumblr. so exciting.

my goal with this blog is to share the parts of myself others don't really get to share. i want to talk about my interests by writing lists, reviews, commentaries, etc. I also hope to eventually start posting my art on here and finally start art projects I've always wanted to do. i'll post when i'm able too i guess.

✧ about me ✧

my name is lois👩🏾‍💻. im 18. she/they. demisexual & demiromantic. black american (w/ caribbean heritage 🇯🇲).

im currently a first-year undergrad student. i intend to major in new media with a concentration in amimation as well as minor in africana studies and possibly business or arts & management.

i'm a hobbyist artist (currently) but i've done some freelance work before. both traditional & digital. more below.

mtbi: intp-t

sign~ sun🌞; leo, moon🌚; taurus, rising💫; cancer

interests: art; anime & animation; manga, webcomics & manwha; reading; music/singing; kdramas; tv & movies; language; and etc. i wrote all about them below

✴ interests ✴

art: i've been drawing since I was little and started to take it seriously in middle school. i'm basically getting a practical art degree, took me a long time to accept i wanted to do art. more specifically i draw and paint but most of my traditional work ends up being multimedia (collage, colored pencil, etc.). i do digital work in procreate and i have clip studio paint but i still don't know how to use it...

anime & animation: i literally love it, I grew up watching it with my family specifically my dad got me and my siblings into and I've loved it ever since. part of the reason i started this blog. the genres i gravitate towards are romance, fantasy, mystery, slice of life, magical girl, etc. i'm big on shoujo and want to get more into josei. one of my favorite animes of all time is Akagami no Shirayukihime (or Snow White with the Red Hair).

manga, webcomics & manwha: I've been reading webtoons since the app came out tbh. but for at least 6 years now. i love explaining these plots to my mother, they are so crazy sometimes. um in terms of manga, i haven't read too many only of series of i reallllly liked so specifically Akagami no Shirayukihime and Akatuski no Yona (or Yona of the Dawn) but I want to read more so I started Bungou Stray Dogs. Also, the first volume of manga I've ever bought is Snow White with the Red Hair. my current fav webtoons/manwha are: stray souls, remarried empress, my in-laws are obessessed with me, from knight to a lady, like wind on a dry branch, morgana & oz, raven saga, maybe meant to be, and soooo many more. that would have to be a post on it's own 😅

reading: I really enjoy reading books and my goal this year is 50 books and these past two or so years I've had a focus in reading poc authors/poc main characters and i've been pretty successful in that. but again genres I really enjoy are romance and mystery.

games: i'm not a huge gamer but i do like genshin impact (haven't played in a year tho but i hope to start again), sims4 (when i feel l like it) and minecraft (when i feel like it) and like 2 others.

music: i love singing and listening to music. like i LOVE karaoke, i even have my own machine. i really enjoy music from media (movies, tv-shows, anime, etc.) soundtracks. genres I enjoy are: r&b, woman rap, pop, kpop, and etc. i mostly listen to the same exact songs for weeks at a time so i always fall out of the loop on new music but i always try and incorporate when i can.

kdramas: i'm adding this because specifically I watch so many of these and it's an interest i share with my mom especially. my favorite drama of all time is Strong Woman Do Bong Soon.

tv & movies: i enjoy consuming content. I love watching things from other cultures and languages. i've seen german, french, italian, thai, japanese, british, australian, indian, south african, nigerian media and etc. and very obviously american.

culture, history, and politics: i have interest in learning about others cultures and history but i do have a focus on black history, culture and politics 👍🏾. not gonna go too in-depth.

language: i want to be a polyglot but i'm too lazy but i do want to be able to be proificient in german, french and korean. my stepmom is german so my twin sisters will be bilingual and i want to commuicate with them, french because i've taken 4 semesters of it and while have to take a 5th eventually and korean since i consume a lot of korean media 🤷🏾‍♀️

others: rollerskating, dance, psychology/neurodiversity, health, fashion, etc.

~ random facts ~ (if you made it this far)

i love using emojis

my favorite color is ~ pink !!

i enjoy making lists

i keep a bullet journal/planner

i have 4 siblings (2 brothers and 2 sisters). i'm the oldest/first-born.

i enjoy going to museums

-----------------------------------the end-----------------------------------

~ i plan on making a separate post for my other socials or just ediitng this one. we'll see

but if you want to be mutuals or chat i'm okay with that. i want to interact with like minded people on here so reach out if you'd like.

[endofyourdecadence]

📌pinned post

my only hard dni is minors, but be warned that i don't trigger tag for FICTIONAL blood, gore, violence, etc, and that i have fucked up kinks. i have better things to do with my time than to make sure my followers obey my dni, though, so i operate on the honor system for that shit.

hi. you can call me nyx. i'm 28 years old and use any pronouns except for he/him (so she/her, they/them, it/its, etc). im a bisexual genderfluid girlthing.

this is me, in my various forms of gender presentation:

i post and reblog:

motionless in white

black veil brides

my chemical romance

occasional other metalcore and emo bands

leftist politics including kink positivity, fat acceptance, disability education, and queer liberation

memes/jokes/shitposts

horror media

occasional video game shit (ask me about astarion from baldur's gate 3)

occasional personal posts/life updates

occasional vent posts/rants

i don't often tag for flashing lights because i forget, so please follow with caution if photosensitive as i make GIFs of concert videos when i go to shows a lot of times

about me:

i am physically disabled and multiply neurodivergent. i'm a big horror fan, especially more extreme fucked up horror. i read more than i watch movies/shows. i like to smoke weed. my favorite colors are pink, purple, and black. im a gamer girl. i write a lot, and my ao3 is now under the same username as this blog if u wanna check out my fic.

[scrollypoly]

tysm for answering my ask about BEN!! Honestly it feels so good to talk to people who actually know their shit and read the ARG and don’t just believe stuff from random sources!! And ur so right I want more Rosa omg :( I rlly want people to talk about Sarah more too!! I’m also so sorry you’ve been called stuff like just for?? Following canon?? Like calling someone a pedo is such a huge insult and people use it left and right just because they’re misinformed and it rubs me the wrong way fr :/ AND U PARTICIPATED IN THE THIRD ACT?? THAT IS SO COOL HELLO???

Lol yeah hi! :D Awakening was crazy!! Im still in the WH server that opened up after it ended, i mostly just lurk :3

But yeah i totally get it, i love filling people in on the arg cuz its sooo good and so painfully underrated and under used. Though i do also like that crp as a fandom has kind of become this messy mish-mash of headcanons and stories and ideas and everyone has their own thing. I think it would just generally be a lot better if people accepted that the canon for a lot of these characters is like. 90% suggestion and 10% an actual canon to follow. Cuz so many people, myself included, have rewritten so many of these characters in fascinating ways.

And yes the girls! The gorls!! 😫😫🙌🙌

All the girls in these fandoms are so under appreciated but especially the arg girls!! I love rosa so much and i still have to figure oit sarah and how shes gonna be in my canon but shes so!! Heckin awesome in awakening!! Absolute badass gamer girl, ive seen so many interps of her that are so bitchin, i rly need to figure her out 😩

Like if i had the desire to sit and draw more god i would but man. Life is oof, and now im back in school, but i rly should draw my moon children more, i still got shit to figure out with some of them.

Fr tho i am always down to chat, you can always send asks or you can dm me here or on discord. Im usually available unless im at work, but i love chattering, especially about ben stuff lolol

[averageblackhetaliafangirl]

Have you ever wanted a Hetalia themed moodboard from a Tumblr user but they’re too pussy to make one for you? Fear not, my friend. I am here for you.

General info: The main purpose of this blog is to take requests for Hetalia themed aesthetic boards. I’m doing this cuz I love Hetalia sm and I’m feeling particularly nostalgic rn. I may post fashion collages too if I’m feeling up for it. I’ll also be posting rants and opinions here too cuz I don’t rlly want that being posted on my main lol. If you’d like to be mutuals let me know!

What you’re allowed to request:

💖Shipping. F/M, M/M and F/F are all allowed :)

💖Friendships

💖One character in particular

💖Characters interested in a certain thing Ex: Belarus with ballet themes, Gamer girl Seychelles, Baker Belgium, Liechtenstein and plush collecting

💖Yandere things

💖Just nothing outlandish honestly. If you’re not sure if I’ll accept your request just ask, I’m pretty sure whatever it is I’ll say yes as long as it isn’t fucked up offensive material

What you’re not allowed to request:

❌Right wing politics

❌Racism, misogyny, homophobia

❌Pro ana

❌Historical events

❌Slavery related things

❌No sexualities/identities (because I don’t want to interpret something incorrectly plus it’s hard to find pictures that would match the vibe of a specific pride flag)

❌War/political figures. Military aesthetics are okay though.

If you want to talk about something feel free to use my ask box!

If I find out that you’re a right wing pro ana bigot freak or some other weird ass shit like that I’m blocking you. I don’t have the patience I really do not.

ALSO PLS IGNORE MY DESKTOP THEME FOR NOW IK IT DOESNT MATCH THE SEYCHELLES VIBE IM GOING FOR ON MOBILE THIS BLOG WAS SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BEFORE I MADE IT INTO A HETALIA BLOG LOLLL

That’s all for now. Thank you for visiting my blog.

[solidifiedsunshine]

was painfully reminded today by a coworker that i could have been a gamer cat girl (uwu)…

she made a comment in passing and it dawned on me, the irony of the whole moment

i had chosen the socially acceptable route in life. what was in front of me and what made sense to keep interpersonal relationships and external perceptions stable. contained

in a cubicle, across form her now

floored by the sobering revelation, stumbling to give a response that’s as comprehensive as i know and need it to be

that i am so smitten with comfort, i’ve been trading in dreams to maintain it

stay private and keep my existence to myself. who needs to know im here?

what’s one more person going online to tell everyone who they are and what they think.

raised alongside an internet in its infancy. knowing nothing of what was yet and what would be. how dramatically technology would shape every waking moment of our individual existences. how close it would bring us to one another. how far it would make us feel.

even tho i wish i could have been (or could be) reckless and open online, capitalizing on trends for fun (because why not), and connecting with countless other humans i would have never had the opportunity to know or learn from had it not been for the rapid technological evolution seen in the 20th century — im thankful that the school system instilled fear of the internet in me at a very young age because. there was a very thin window of time where i could have let it consume me entirely before my brain was even developed enough to process what was happening

and part of me is like *whew* “yeah. no, you dodged a serious bullet of a potential reality”

and another part of me is just like….. i could be a full time content creator, connecting, doing what i love and impacting other people’s lives. whether it’s uwu cat girl or a piece of writing/art/sound that makes people see meaning or maybe remember a reason why they must keep living

… ill just keep living my dream (to be unapologetically public and socially unacceptable online) vicariously using Media and Images i guess