jyoongim · 5 months ago
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~ BLOOD & BLISS ~
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
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It has never crossed your mind that your husband, your Alastor, was a killer.
You decided to meddle and found that many of Alastor’s clothing was missing. 
All replaced with new clothes.
You also noticed that your shovel was missing and so were his hunting knives.
Where were these things and why were they missing?
Alastor had a habit of keeping the newspaper, so you went through each one that talked about a missing person or killing.
Every one occurred when Alastor was gone to work.
Your mind started to whirl. You thought back to when you visited your mother
”A killer is right in your backyard”
You had played it off as your mother just being concerned for your well-being…but now that you thought about it…
What was Al doing when he was at work?
You always listened in on his radio shows,but due to your pregnancy you haven’t really listened in.
You thought about when Alastor was home.
No killings.
But you remembered the bags filled with red liquid that you saw in the cellar.
That liquid was blood you were sure omit,  but Alastor had reassured you that it wasn’t. 
The bags mysteriously disappeared and now thee cellar is locked.
He said it was a deer carcass but the texture of the blood wasn’t right.
Then the stew.
A normal stew that your husband had made.
But the meat wasn’t right. 
And Alastor was a damn good cook,  but it was something off about the meat.
And now his clothes, that were hidden were covered in blood.
You stood in the kitchen. You looked around. 
Nothing was out of place. It looked as it always did.
was that always like that? 
Your backsplash was quartz, you should know you picked it out, but this backsplash wasn’t.
quartz doesnt stain….marble does.
You took your finger and dug into the cracks of the stone, feeling for any residue of something.
You pull your finger back and deep red stained your finger.
You looked at it and tilted your head.
Was it….only one way to find out.
You popped your finger in your mouth and gagged.
Blood.
You were shaking.
why the hell was blood in your kitchen?
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All Alastor wanted to do was take a nice hot shower and cuddle with you. Work has been chaotic with police reports and everyone wants to ask their opinion on the radio show.
He entered the house and shrugged off his jacket and kicked off his shoes, you were no where to be seen and it was quiet.
He decided to take his chances to see if you were in the kitchen, he didnt smell dinner, but that didnt mean that you werent in your little domain.
His eyes landed on the laundry cluttered on the table, his brows furrowing seeing the clothes he had meant to dispose.
“Darling?” he called; the sound of footsteps could be heard upstairs and finally you appeared in the doorway of the kitchen.
You didnt greet him like usual. You stood guarded.
He felt his shackled rise but he remained calm. 
A charming smile stretched across his face 
“No hello kiss? Im wounded dear” 
you frowned “Al…you want to tell me why when I was washing clothes that i found blood stains?”
You walked to the laundry and lifted out the spoiled clothes that were horribly washed and stained.
Al stiffened but composed himself “Had a bit of an accident that all dear”
Your eyes narrowed “An accident? then explain why my backsplash was replaced”
He tilted his head “replaced? Dearest the backsplash ain’t been changed its the same”
You waddled over and pulled the tile you had dug out, revealing a red stained wall.
”I had this kitchen made exactly to my liking. I had materials used that were durable and easy to clean. Quartz doesn’t stain, so tell me. Why is my wall stained?”
Alastor was quiet.
”This is blood Al! Why is there blood on my wall? In our house?”
”I skinned the deer in the kitchen. I didn’t want you throwing a fit,I know how much you love your kitchen dear, so I tried to clean it, but it was already too much and stained so I just did a slight home renovation.”
You shook your head “Youre lying” Alastor stiffened.
”What?”
”Youre lying. You’ve never skinned anything in my kitchen. Al…” you huffed, rubbing your belly for comfort.
”I’m a lot of things, but stupid id not one of them. You think that just because I hate the outdoors that I don’t know what deer blood looks like? This color is wrong. The meat in the stew was wrong and those bags…what was in those bags in the cellar?”
Alastor was quiet.
“Things in this house is missing. The shovel, the knives, your clothes have been replaced and my backsplash is different. What the hell-”
”It doesn’t concern you”
You blinked, stopping your rant.
”e-excuse me? Doesn’t concern me? Doesn’t concern me?! Alastor we are having a baby! How are we suppose to raise a child if you’re a killer?!”
You immediately stiffened.
oops.
Alastor’s eyes darkened “what did you say doll?”
Your stomach lurched.
Your heart was pounding in your chest.
”Y-Youre a killer…its…its you.”
He laughed.
A deep sound coming from his belly as he twirled in a circle in disbelief.
”Oh doll! That’s a good one. You have been reading the papers again huh? Oooh that’s a good one” he shook his head as he chuckled.
”Baby…that is one big accusation.”
He approached you slowly.
”A few bloody clothes, some missing items, a rancid stew and you think I’m a killer? What you think I’m the Bayou Killer?”
His smile fell.
”that’s a wild imagination you got dear”
Alastor took a deep breath as he settled his hands on your round hips “I’m no killer doll. I just got roughed up by a couple of goons who didn’t like what I had to say on the radio. That’s all it is”
He leaned down, almost like he meant to press his lips to your forehead in a reassuring kiss.
”there’s a body in my flower garden” you whispered, making him pause.
He blinked, a shaky chuckle escaping him “what?” He pulled back
”there’s a body in my flower garden.” You repeated, you felt a pain in your stomach, a hand going to rub the babe inside you soothingly.
”there’s not a body in the garden ” Alastor said, firmly.
”Then go look”
He sighed and went to make his way to the back porch and you followed behind him and once he stepped onto the porch, you quickly shut the door and locked it.
Alastor spun around. “Dearest?”
You were breathing hard as you stood on the other side of the door
”I am going to report you”
He frowned, hand wrapping around the door knob and jiggling it “baby this isnt funny…open the door”
You shook your head, he began to violently jiggle the handle, you backed away “no. If you wont tell me, then the officers will”
you disappeared into the house, leaving him banging at the door, his voice booming as he rammed against the door.
You had locked every door to the house and hid the keys.
Your back was aching and your stomach was twisting.
You could hear banging and Alastor’s voice echoing as he shouted at you to let him inside.
You ran upstairs and locked the door.
You paced.
Your head was spinning, your breathing was harsh and your stomach was hurting.
You groaned as you rubbed your belly
”its okay its okay” you whispered to your baby, rubbing your stomach.
A loud bang was heard throughout the house making you jump awake.
What the hell….
You quickly got up, grunting as pain shot through you.
It was dark now, the house pitch black and quiet except for his footsteps as he moved through the house.
”baby!” Alastor called.
You were sweating and in pain.
You groaned as you made your way to the bathroom to hide.
You heard a loud hacking noise, wood crunching and heavy footsteps.
You winced as you sunk into the tub.
it was quiet.
too quiet.
The doorhandle to your bedroom jingled, turning before a knock was heard.
You stayed quiet.
”Dearest open the door” you head him say, muffled through the door.
You said nothing.
How the hell did he get in house?
A loud bang to your door knocked the hinges.
A low grunt was heard and again a thud.
Over and over he rammed against thee door and then it was quiet.
You felt a pressure and then wetness coated your thighs. Your eyes widened and you gasped as clear liquid dripped from between your legs.
oh no…
WHACK!
Your head shot up.
WHACK!
The sound of something hitting the wooden door echoed.
”Youre making this harder than it needs to be” Alastor grunted.
WHACK!
An axe.
He was hacking at your door with an axe….
“I really did it for you dear.”
Wood crunching and cracking.
”You weren’t meant to know. No. Not my. Sweet wife.”
THUD!
WHACK!
CRACK!
Your fingers dug into the smoothness of the tub as you felt pressure in your hips.
The sound of wood cracking met your ears and then footsteps.
You let out a low grunt, forehead pressing into the cool tile.
A low, disheveled huff was heard and the door to the bathroom flung open and there was Alastor, holding an axe and breathing hard.
”You weren’t meant to find now. I made sure that you weren’t meant to know. Youre the only good thing that I have and I would be damned if….dearest?”
Your hair was sticking to your forehead and your face was contorted in pain.
Alastor threw the axe down and rushed to your side, face concerned.
”what is it? What’s wrong?”
Your eyes clenched as you grunted.
Alastor’s eyes looked you over, blood was slowly pooling into the tub.
You groaned as a wave of pain shot through you, leaving you breathless.
”The baby…the baby’s coming”
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Sorry it took me so long guys! BUT the long awaited chapter is here! Whew! What a whirlwind!
@nightshadelm @th3-st4r-gur1 @amurtan @peachedtvs @southern-bayou-beau @karolinda007-blog @simphornies @yourdoorisunlocked @purplecatsandhearts @thewinchestah @alastor-simp @alastorsgirl48 @alastorsfawn @alastorsaries @alastwhore666 @hazelfoureyes @okay-babe @altruisticalastor @certifiedcrybabyyy @vexendoe @charlottemorningstarsdarling @dennsfz @smoky000 @prosciuttosblog @popamolly @zombiesnips-blog @ilikemyteawithmilk @alastors-altruist @alastors666creampie @catherine1206 @catmunist @preciousbabypeter @cxrsedwxrlds @voxsmalewife @cutiebimbo @littlebluefishtail @dickmastersworld @sirens-and-moonflowers @alastorthirsty @callmeoncette @theangeliclibrarian @evedenn @doctorswife221b @sweet-radio @nkirukaj
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doberbutts · 11 months ago
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hey so feel free to delete this if its inappropriate/not the right time to share it
i’m a trans woman and (obviously) i can’t get pregnant, but i did get sexually assaulted by some guys trying to show was one of them. and also having an m marker has caused issues with trying to access resources and shit.
idk this isnt the same thing and all but my point is that im standing with u as some random trans woman with vaguely parallel experiences and im sorry to hear its somehow even worse & more likely for some of yall.
I wanr to preface this with a disclaimer, to get things out of the way first.
I am not trying to say that trans women do not experience devastating sexual assaults. They do. Quite often. Though to me, even once is too often. Rape and sexual assault are terrible, awful things. It's horrible that anyone has been made to go through this.
Nor am I trying to say that your M marker doesn't get in the way of things. When it comes to the domestic violence you experience, or the homelessness rates, or a determination of what prison you go to (esp since y'all are more likely to be wrongfully accused and arrested), or the various aspects of your own reproducive healthcare, your agab and gender marker is absolutely used as a weapon against you.
The question was asked for a unique example. Unfortunately, the conversation around reproductive rights is much different for me than it is for you. But it's also much different for me than for cis women and cis men as well. Those without a functional uterus cannot get pregnant. Those who cannot get pregnant are not forcibly married off to be raped until pregnant as a means of detransition and correction. This misogyny we share with cis women.
However an added aspect of that is that if this happens after we've changed our legal documents, an additional layer of transphobia occurs when insurances and doctors see our M or X markers and deny us care out of hand. Now we are stuck with a pregnancy we don't want and constant reminder of what happened to us, or a huge medical bill with devastating financial consequences.
And that's just for those who got out safety- for those who rely on shelters, again the choice becomes detransition for safety at a woman's shelter, or struggle in silence as a man. That, we share with you, though for different reasons.
A unique interection of transphobia and misogyny specifically experienced by trans men was asked for. That is what I provided. Much like how in Crenshaw's essays one could not provide a complete understanding of "because woman" or "because black" because neither would show the full picture of "because black woman", it is not possible to describe this fully as "because trans " or "because man" because the complete "because trans man" must be provided.
I am of the opinion that there is very little "unique" about oppression- mostly that the various points of intersection change its face. In other words, I think trans men share a lot with trans women, and I don't think that's a bad thing. I also think that doesn't disclude something from earning its own name or having its own place to be talked about.
I have hesitated to post those statistics because they can so easily be twisted to say "trans women don't experience these things" or "trans men have it worse". But, a look at the graphs say the first isn't true, it just happens at a statistically less rate. The second, well, I personally don't think it's useful to quantify who has it worse. I once was in that mindset, apologizing to my mentor (an older trans woman) for complaining about my problems because obviously she had it so much worse.
She told me she doesn't like to think about it like that. For her, she would rather be raped than killed. For me, I would rather be killed than raped. Who has it "worse" depends entirely on perspective. Murder and rape are both terrible crimes to be a victim of. Rather than weighing this violence in a scale, more effort should be put into stopping it from happening in the first place. I think she was very wise. I'm lucky to have known her.
I'm sorry that happened to you. I would like to reach across the table and take your hand, to walk forward into the future together. I think we are stronger when united in this world that hates us. You are my sister. We may fight like siblings, but you're still family.
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updownlately · 9 months ago
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okay so bear with me here, but i just wanted to lay my personal opinion down on this because other opinions have been expressed regarding this and i didn't really say my piece on this specific part yet.
im not trying to drag lj down here, or bring this back up for her to be dragged. i just want to state my piece here in regards to the conversations we've been having since last night.
regarding the conversations that have been occurring on this blog in the past 24 hours about lj and katie's behaviour, and with lj's wc behaviour being brought up, i said that (and i quote) "the lack of apology irked me the most! that and how the attention was directed to racial abuse." and "the fact that such a key issue wasn’t even touched upon is frankly extremely disappointing from the lionesses, chelsea, and lj herself."
i honestly still stand firm in my stance and here is why.
***adding a cut bc this shit got kinda long
i've attached the two main apologies i've found, one from the lionesses, and one from lj (her tweet).
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the reason that i personally am not satisfied with the response and why i said lack of apology, is because i feel that the words said were not enough. yes sorry was said. yes, it mentioned the actions and remorse that lj felt. but for me, 'really sorry' doesn't cut it. that combined with 'wholly out of character for her' doesn't sit right with me.
we know this isn't out of character. and personally, actions speak louder than words, and the immediate walk out without a single change in facial expression when the incident originally occurred + every. single. time. it has occurred since is insane. this isn't a one time behaviour. being 'really sorry' doesn't cut it. yes you can respect another player and whatnot, but if you're going to let your emotions consistently negatively dictate how you treat them on the pitch, and it being with anything other than respect, that is where i don't see the apology being more than pixels on a screen meant to placate the (rightfully) enraged public.
could i see it a fit apology if action was taken to prevent this from happening again in the future? abso-freaking-lutely!!
but that's the issue for me. nothing has changed. literally nothing.
i caught part of the city vs chelsea game that occurred a few days ago, and as the clock got closer to the end, it was clear how each of lj's tackles and shoves got more and more dangerous. heck, she absolutely bodied a player in the air when it was unnecessary. that could've ended so poorly and im glad it didn't, but i digress.
i'm thinking of the walti incident because its the first that comes to mind as an arsenal fan. the clearly placed stomp. the indifferent look. the walkout without a single hesitation or look of remorse. that isn't the behaviour of someone who is sorry for their actions. that behaviour then isn't 'out of character'.
so then coming back to lj's apology. is she really sorry? or is she sorry it was caught? that too at such a big stage? and where was the attempt to 'learn from my experience'? because honestly? i don't see it.
and i don't doubt there's been more instances like this, ones that i haven't seen (i don't watch chelsea games that often, the timing of most wsl games isn't convenient for me since many occur from 4-7 am and i have commitments during the day). but they seem to be a reoccurring theme.
so yes. there was an apology issued. no i don't think it was a good apology in the least and the behavioural aspect wasn't touched upon. the incident was treated like a one off occurrence (which it clearly isn't).
this all gets furthered by the fact (and i can't rmb who so please forgive me and educate me here if possible), but it was either chelsea or the lionesses that released a statement about racial abuse.
now, i'm not disagreeing that racial abuse occurred, and im definitely not saying that it was okay.
it wasn't okay. racial abuse is never okay and never will have a space in the football that i know of (or anywhere for that matter). period. full stop.
and so yes, i agree with their statement. but to me, it felt as if the red card situation was brushed under the rug.
now, don't get me wrong. racial abuse is totally is extremely important and should be kept to a zero in any situation whatsoever and im glad there was a statement released regarding that matter.
but i recall that when i read that statement, i personally felt as if it was more of a deflection than a stance, and that is what didn't sit right with me.
now, i could totally be wrong there. i understand there's a innumerable amount of perspectives here. i'm merely going off my opinion and what i felt when reading that statement. everyone had a different experience/reaction to it and i can recognize and respect that. all i ask if you respect my take even if you don't agree with it.
(i've lost my train of thought so bear with me if it gets a bit murky here)
but yeah, for me, all of that combined really just made me feel that the apology wasn't adequate, given the severity of the situation.
don't get me wrong. i think lj's is a generational talent. i really do. her footwork, her body feints, her ability to score rockets and find pockets of space that barely exist for more than a second is absolutely insane!
but while i can recognize she's a fantastic player, i don't have to be satisfied with the apology she gave during those times. and i'm not.
is it a weird line to balance for me? 100%. it is something i think about quite often to be honest.
as someone who likes to say they have a concrete set of morals, ethics, values, and whatnot that i like to follow, this is tough for me to navigate. it's very much in the grey area and the lines do get blurred.
im astonished by lj's skill level, but i can't find it in myself to 'rep' her as a player like i do with my other favourites or players that i think are outstanding.
the behaviour doesn't sit right with me and it influences how i perceive her as a footballer and a person, and that's just the way it is.
so all in all, if you've made it this far: a) congrats on making it through my word vomit! thank you really. b) this is my personal take/opinion. all i ask is you try and understand where i may be coming from before you attack me, should you choose to do so. c) im a barely twenty-smt kid tryna navigate life. this is new territory for me, i'm not perfect and i know it. could i be absolutely wrong? yes. but does this stance feel correct to me right now? yes.
and yeah.
at the end of the day. no, that apology wasn't acceptable in my opinion. you can accept it should you choose to wish so, i just won't be. not yet atleast.
anyways, thanks for coming to my ted talk lmao
-blu
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marshmallowprotection · 2 years ago
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Question; do you think Ray would go Danger Mode if we're unhappy at Mint Eye? I love Ray and I know I'd stick around just for him, but honestly your time in Magenta seems so... isolated. You cant even go outside without an escort, and Ray's really the only person you can have an extended chat with face to face. I probably wouldnt bring it up out of guilt but at the same time ive been told I cant lie to save my life, so-
I guess im just kinda curious whether that would be enough for his fears of losing you to take over, even if you reassured him that you genuinely do like him and want to stay?
I genuinely think it depends on what kind of person you are. There are certain people that don't really mind being stuck in that room all the time because they don't care for interactions with other people. It wouldn't really bother me to be locked up in that room since it's something that I'm used to doing, so for me it doesn't really seem like a problem to feel that lonely isolation.
However, in the cases of people that are more like you, there is no doubt in my mind that he is going to be wary of what that could do to you and your opinion of Mint Eye. What if you want to leave? What if you tell him that you want to go to another place because you’re isolated and afraid? What if you say you hate him for bringing you here?
He wants to protect you from the outside world. He brought you here so that he could keep you away from everything that he's afraid of. So, it didn't really occur to him that you would miss anything out there. He wants to make you feel like a true royal in his midst... that’s why you are his prince/ss. That’s why he wants to worship you in a castle.
That's why he tries to overcompensate himself by giving you the most elegant room, the best food, clothes that are perfectly sized, and the like. Anything that's in the realm of possibility that he can get for you without becoming a nuisance, he's already done it.
He goes over these details in a in his diary. There’s so much he time he put into figuring out what makes you tick. He spends a long time trying to figure out how to do all of these things so that it'll be okay when he brings somebody there. The details are immaculate. He didn’t miss a thing and that can be the unnerving part if you look too hard.
He is choosing somebody perfect for him. You’re perfect for him and he can do whatever it takes to placate you. He was all but given the opportunity to choose somebody that he thought was best and that's where this starts to go south. His obsession and paranoia can win in the end if you don’t press the right buttons in this situation and give him a chance. Even if you’ve done it all right, if something goes wrong around you and him, he might not be able to believe you.
For example, in Day 4′s Bad Ending, he assumes that you haven’t been doing chatrooms because 707 manipulated you. He says “you played his game and you were with him when you weren’t talking to me”. He doesn’t stop to listen to anything you say because now he thinks that you’re going to leave him behind forever because you believed 707 and not him. You haven’t even really talked that much to the RFA in this ending. You didn’t try. But, does that matter in his mind?
No.
It doesn’t.
Ray’s paranoia is stronger than his belief in the facts. If he thinks that you’re at risk of being taken away, he becomes forceful and straightforward in his desire for you. He keeps you in your room like its a dollhouse... not a toy box, toys can be broken and thrown away, but a pretty doll on a shelf is meant to be admired by all. He can fix this if you just let him. You can start over again and again and again.
Or, in V Route, BRE1 happens when you don’t engage with Rika and V enough and Rika decides to give you back to Ray as a plaything. You don’t care for V in the same way she does, so she loses interest and assumes Ray will have much better use for you. You are useful, but she’ll figure that how to use that later. In the meantime, Ray whisks you away back to your room as he says he’s excited to spend time with you again. Apart from him telling you about how Suit Saeran wants to meet you...
He comments about the “AI” in distaste, and you try to correct him. That’s about the point in this situation where he becomes upset and angry, why are trying to talk about those people? Is he not good enough? He’s so upset that you want to talk to the RFA and believe in the outside world after the Savior said that there’s no chance of that. He doesn’t know what to do. He just knows he refuses to lose you even if you’re mad at him. He locks you in your room until he has the time to decide how he can fix you.
The closest you get canonically to Ray being okay with thoughts and talk of the outside is around the time you kiss him.
That’s when he’s started to shift away from the cult more and more in the belief that protecting you is more important... even more important than his revenge. But, Rika snuffs out his light after she’s informed by a believer who spotted the two of you. She was already suspicious but that was it for him there. He was destroyed before he could fully listen and try to understand the world and why freedom is more than what he thinks.
So, when it comes down to it, what does it mean when you tell him that you feel a little stir-crazy? It matters how you tell him. If you start talking about how you are overwhelmed with being here and you want to go out, you need to be careful of how you mention it. It wouldn't be as bad if you said that you wanted to walk around the building with him. In fact, it's not like he gets upset when you leave your room and take a little stroll.
You're allowed to do that in the beginning of your time there with your key card. It's not that he doesn't want you to explore or feel safe there, it's that he wants to be there to experience all of these things with you. The selfish part of him wants to see your reaction to everything.
He wants to capture the way you look whenever you see something for the first time. He doesn't want you to be locked away. He wants to let you experience all kinds of things with him. In an Ideal World, he knows that he wouldn't have to be afraid of what could go wrong if somebody bothered you or got into your personal space.
But, because of the circumstance that you're in, it's not the ideal world. It's not a place where he feels things are okay. He brought you here because he thought that he could protect you from the pain and the misery.
So, if you just tell him that you want to wander the building, you can do that. You have the right to do that as a believer. You only needed an escort before you were an official member. So you can walk around and get a lot of things out of your system. The only part that might feel isolating to you is the fact that there's not a lot of people to talk to. The people you can talk to you aren't exactly the cheeriest bunch in the world. That might be the point where you have an issue. That might be the lonely part that bothers you the most. Not the fact that you can leave the room if you want to, but the fact that there's not really people to talk to that feel human.
That would be the problem for him. Even though the people in this place in Mint Eye are safe, he fears losing you to everything and everyone. So, in terms of that, that would definitely be something you would have to look out for. But I feel like that can be easily remedied for the more that you talk to him and help him understand that you don't want to leave his side, you just feel a little isolated. There are ways to make that a little bit better.
But, he's the one who has to figure those out.
His paranoia is really only an issue in the context of something going wrong. As long as things continue to work out smoothly the way that he thinks that they will, he doesn't have any fears. Is there an ideal solution? Not really. That's going to hinge upon your needs and what you're going through.
No matter what happens, you're going to come to a standstill when you have to confront him with the reality of what being trapped here is. There is no way to run away from it because eventually it's going to come up in conversation and you'll have to talk about it. That's going to be the moment where you'll have to figure out what you actually value and what you're willing to do for him. Can you get through to him by saying that this place isn't good for anybody? Hard to say. There's no guarantee that you could do it before a certain somebody would step in and snuff out his light. 
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biolums · 2 years ago
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hiii hope ur well do u have. bl recs..i trust ur taste immensely 🫶🏾
HIIIIIII SORRY THIS IS SO LATE I WANTED TO HAVE TIME TO DO THIS AND NOT RUSH IT!!!!!
so first of all. i DO watch a lot of shitty bl its a past time i greatly enjoy BUT this will be a list of shows i recommend because theyre GOOD fjdjsjkfksjdkf also idk how much bl youve watched if any!! so if youve seen all of these i can and WILL rec more im just putting the ones i would recommend MOST rn
adding a keep reading. this is a bit long i apologize jfsiodjf
1. Bad Buddy (available on youtube)
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WAGHHH this show changed me as a person… rivals to friends to lovers, romeo and juliet, secretly dating… its just sooooo good. its about pat and pran, who have lived next to each other their entire lives BUT their parents Hate each other. occurs mostly in college where they live across from each other now (sighs.. fated lovers…) AND their friend groups hate each other too. rivals 2x… however theyre forced to work together because the university is threatening punishment if the two groups dont stop fighting.
this show seriously is just SOOO good and i relate to pran on a personal level. both like… autistically and loving pat-ingly (ohm pawat.. whew hes Such a man)
2. Where Your Eyes Linger (available on viki? or dramacool if you want to pirate it lol)
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OK a lot of people rate this kind of mid in kbls BUTTT its forever my favorite idc. its about a chaebol and his bodyguard who was essentially adopted by the family for the Sole purpose of being his bodyguard. set in high school and features just the most wonderful yearning and also for some reason they only have one bed in the apartment they share. goes into power structures and stuff a bit which i thought was cool :) basically the bodyguard has been in love with the chaebol his whole life but never acted on it because 1. thats not his place and 2. taejoo is Straight. he yearns quietly until Uh Oh… someone starts taking kang gook (the bodyguard)’s attention away from taejoo and he gets jealous.
3. I Told Sunset About You (available on viki. i watched it on dramacool)
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AUOGGH.. this show will tear you into pieces. its just such a BEAUTIFUL and cinematic experience i love it so much… notable things to mention: features cheating and an obscene amount of crying. i love this show but i cannot do crying scenes. it was a struggle fjsjdjfjdjdjf anyways this show is about two childhood friends who are now rivals. theyre trying to get into college and taking classes outside of school to prepare, where they meet each other for the first time in quite a few years. teh is insanely jealous of oh aew for being popular amongst other things and it causes a lot of. tension. teh has a girl hes been flirting with for years and oh aew has a guy he likes but they both feel an INTENSE pull to each other. one that isnt easy on their relationships or theirselves.
OH!!! also this show features a ton of thai-chinese culture and is set in phuket as opposed to almost every other thai show being set in bangkok.
also i dont recommend the sequel. i havent watched it but it has some. problematic tropes that leave a bad taste in my mouth. also just destroys the characters! idk thats just my opinion though im sure SOMEONE likes that show..
4. Until We Meet Again (available on youtube)
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ok. first of all. this show is about the red string of fate and reincarnated lovers. im warning you now that it literally starts with a double suicide scene and its. its a lot. HOWEVER. i do really like this show!! its sweet and does justice to both its trope and the couple who commit suicide. basically pharm, a stick of a guy who experiences panic attacks and nightmares that he cant explain, enters college and meets dean, the captain of the swim team. they both definitely know something is up and have feelings for each other but they have to navigate flashbacks and discovering what happened to their past selves (in and korn). ALSO has a side couple whos show is currently airing!!!! im not putting between us on here since its still airing but i do recommend it :)
ugh second warning. this show ALSO has soooo much crying……….
5. Gaya Sa Pelikula (available on youtube)
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when i say this show changed me as a person.... god i genuinely have sooooooooooooo many emotions about this show. it follows karl, an architecture student. he moves into his apartment and.. some guy runs in and puts a hand over his mouth and tells him to be quiet. No he is not getting robbed but he doesn't know that. QUEUE fake dating and cohabitation to appease vlad (the guy who ran in)'s sister. genuinely has some of the best most incredible characters ever made and features incredible depictions of internalized homophobia and struggling to live your own life rather than the one someone else made for you. god just thinking about this show is makingme emotional i miss karl and vlad :(
i think this show was supposed to have a season two but something happened with the cast/production crew (im pretty sure it was SA but im not sure) and so theres no sequel. it has a cliffhanger/bittersweet ending but genuinely i think that shouldnt impact whether or not someone watches because its sad YES but its just actually such a good ending and i would have hated if they ended it another way. one of the realest and most human shows ive watched. the BEST depiction of the gay experience ive ever seen. genuinely please watch this show just for that it made me cry and laugh and sob and giggle with how nuanced and thoughtful it is about gayness
6. cherry magic (ITS AVAILABLE ON CRUNCHYROLL??? i watched it on dramacool. lmao)
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHH the movie sequel just came out and i haven't seen it yet but im soooo excited for it. cherry magic is one of the most endearing shows but it doesn't sacrifice character development or plot for cuteness. the premise is that when you turn 30, and youre still a virgin, you turn into a mind reader. which is a big premise to sell i KNOW. but they NAIL IT. adachi (the mindreader) is introverted, insecure, and uncomfortable in his skin, but his new powers force him to come to terms with himself and exist as a person. he avoids touch as much as possible as everyones thoughts can be A Lot BUT he brushes against the office hottie/mvp and finds out that he (kurosawa) has a crush on HIM. adachi doesnt understand but tries to figure out why this incredible guy could love a shy and awkward person like him. features an aroace side character and a side couple i ignored (save for the cat. udon lovers unite) its just such a sweet but powerful show and i love the characters so much :((((
7. hes coming to me (available on youtube)
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OHM PAWATS BACK IM SORRY HES JUST MY FAV AND ALSO THE BEST ACTOR EVER. anyways this show has SUCH a soft place in my heart i truly think its such a special show. its about a ghost who is never visited at his grave and therefore cant pass on and a guy who can see ghosts. Thun has seen ghosts for most of his life but he hasn't really talked to any. Mes has been dead for awhile and longs to have someone SEE him and TALK to him. when thun is a kid, he sees mes and leaves him some offerings. but he doesn't return for a very long time. thuns now a college kid and when he returns to the graveyard, he finally talks to mes and they click. from there, they work together to figure out how mes died to try and help his spirit move on, but develop feelings along the way. has the most HEARTBREAKING coming out scene ever. ohm pawat seriously deserves so many awards. ALSO has a lot of thai-chinese culture!!
i have mixed feelings about the ending. its complicated i like it and i dont like it.. if you watch it youll see what i mean sdfhsoidfjsido
OIADJOASI:JDOIS IM STOPPING HERE THIS IS SO LONGIM SORRY LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT MORE I JUST DONT WANT TO MAKE THIS NOVEL LENGTH IOJF:SDIJSDOI:JIOD
OMG EDITING TO SAY THAT GAP THE SERIES IS A GL CURRENTLY AIRING THAT I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RECOMMEND AS WELL!!!!!!! we stan the autistic queen sam is and mon whos just doing her best in a lesbian world. without knowing shes a lesbian. Somehow
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chocominnie · 3 years ago
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One Last Time 01  —  Pjm. (M)
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⇢ pairing: Jimin X Reader
⇢ Genre: Idol!Jimin, Exbf!Jimin, model!reader, sad au, fluff, tons of smut, angst
⇢ Synopsis: Your idol ex boyfriend Jimin cheated on you. You two have been broken up for a while now and the media has been keeping track of you and him. You’re trying to get over him, but the things that happen inbetween makes you re-think the entire breakup, and so does Jimin…
⇢ Song : xxxxx
⇢ Word Count : 4.3k
⇢ Warnings: dominant jimin, makeout sessions, this is honestly a sad angsty au, cheating, pregnancy, unprotected and protected sex, a bunch of sex, no really a LOT of sexual themes too, I know I’m forgetting some but sorry in advance!
⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken
⇢ Authors note: This is my mini series for the summer! Get your tissues, things to take your anger out on, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. Shall we begin?
The winter’s coldness is hardly enough for you to bear. Even though it’s just the beginning, Seoul is known to just go from season to season without a fucking warning. Not only that, but the first snowfall is going to come soon. The weatherman has been talking about it non-stop for the past few days. It’s going to be a brutal one he says but he says that every year so why believe?
Turning off your alarm, you take a few minutes to collect yourself and stretch. Barely any sleep once again but that’s an everyday thing now.. without Jimin. It’s been some rough months not having his body wrapped snugly onto yours. These days you long for his touch, but completely dread at the same time for very good reasons.
Your kitten greets you with small licks on your thigh in which in return you pet her head softly with a smile.
‘‘ At least I still have you babygirl. You keep me company. “ You coo softly while grabbing your phone off the charger. Texts from your best-friend just spamming you with love and apparently she’s coming over. Great. That’s normal.  But one text catches your eye. Jeon Jungkook.
You furrow your eyebrows as your finger slides to open it after typing in your password. In relief, he’s just checking up on you as always. Rolling your eyes, you muster enough strength to actually pull yourself out of bed. The cold tiles hit your feet like icicles. You jump from from foot to foot cursing yourself for not turning on the floor heaters as you walk out the room. Clara, your kitten, follows you out purring nonchalantly with a few meows here and there.
‘’ Alright Clara I hear you. Im getting your food now.’’ You chuckle, grabbing her food from the bottom kitchen cabinet right under the sink and pour her half a cup of cat food and a whole bowl of water.
After snacking on your morning granola bar you prepare yourself for your morning routine. Shower, brush teeth, skin care, get dressed, clean. Your phone dings once more just before stripping yourself of your clothes. You don’t bother to look it’s probably just a social media notification.
Drying your hair with a towel as you get out the steaming hot shower, you head straight for the mirror. Dark circles remain under your eyes from months of barely any sleep. You sigh, and gently rub under them. Jimin is the cause of this. Why would he do this to you. Surely enough he would not like to see you like this at all. The worriedness he would have over you is huge. But he has moved on and you just have to accept it no matter how in-love you still are with him.
As you clean up around the living room, another ding from your phone occurs. A groan escapes your lips as you place the pillows back as they should be. In hopes of it just being your manager giving you some good news, you let out a sigh and plop yourself down on the grey suede couch. Three new messages. Jeon Jungkook, who has text you twice, and Ryan your bestfriend. 
‘‘ Damn it Ryan why must you consistently text me twenty four sev- “
“ Beause I need to know if you’re okay.”
You jump and drop your phone onto the hardwood floor from the voice that comes from around you.
“ Holy fucking shit you scared me! “  You whine, turning around to face your best-friend. She smiles and holds out her arms for a hug. You roll your eyes and open yours waiting for her embrace.
“ Oh i’ve missed you so so so so so so so-”
“ You just seen me yesterday..” Your voice sarcastic and bland as you let go of her. You sit on the couch first followed by Ryan sitting right next to you.
She looks good today, the navy blue coat she has on suits her very well. Although, you cannot figure out why she decided to wear leggings today. It’s going to rain a bit later but you disregard that seeing as though she’s the fashion deisgner and not you.
You. The model and seemingly ex girlfriend of one of the biggest solo idol in the world right now. Thats what they call you in the news, headlines in magazines, and real life as if you don’t have a real name and just was his acessory. Your modeling career had taken off way before dating him. The world, or Seoul to say the most, didn’t acklowledge you to that point yet. 
“ Okay but still. You know we should be roomates. It’ll be easier for me to watch over you. “
Your head turns towards her quickly shaking no, “ I don’t need to be looked over im 20 years old.”
Silence takes place for the next few seconds. You know what she’s going to say next but pray she doesn’t. Those words will just make you even more upset. It’s already enough you have that constant reminder in your head. 
You watch her fiddle with the rings on her index and pinky fingers. “ But you know… you haven’t been the same since you and Jimi-”
“ Don’t fucking say it. I don’t want to hear it.”
She sighs harshly and stands up, “ Im just worried about you Yn”
“ Don’t be. Im fine. “ That lie escaped your tongue way too easily. 
Truthfully you haven’t and won’t be fine. Everyday there is something new about that girl and Jimin on twitter. Gossip pages, twitter fanpages, and online entertainment pages just always talking about them. They did this, they did that today. Oh we caught them going to this and that restaurant. That used to be you and him.. but now everyone has forgotten about you and focused on them.
Ever since you’ve told reporters and paparazzi repeatedly that you will not be holding or going to any interview they just stopped. A few calls here and there to your manager about scheduling one but she knew you didn’t want to do them so every request is denied. Although its been a year and some change, they still seem to want your side and your opinion to weigh in on. I guess that’s what happens when you date an Idol.
“ The door.. Y/N the door somebody is at the door.” Ryan says, tapping you over and over. You shake your head interrupting your thoughts for the time being. A few more knocks come through.
Finally up onto your feet you harshly walk to the door with each step making noise. It’s to early in the morning for someone to actually be knocking at the door right now. Whoever it is better be dropping off some sort of package, or they’ll surely get a piece of your mind.
Your frail hands grab onto the doorknob and swing it open. Your eyes almost pop through your sockets. How? How did he know you were here? You certainly did not tell him your knew address.
There he stands, his tall frame looking down on you. Lips formed into a tiny pout along with his eyebrows scrunched slightly. His brown eyes forming an ungodly stare into yours with his specs on.
“ Yn! Do you know how worried I was about you? Why did you not answer my messa-”
“Jungkook how do you know where I live?” You pace your hands on your hips, raising an eyebrow at him. To your knowledge, you never gave Jungkook your new apartment address.
Jungkook swallows slowly and puts on his best innocent face on. Oh please like that would work in this moment right now. The only person who has this address is Ryan because she’s the one who helped you move. Even if you had the choice of not giving it out to Ryan you would of but you couldn’t do that to her. She would of been so upset.
Ryan’s voice blares in the background full of excitement. Here we fucking go. “Jungkook! Come in Come in.”
“ Ryan says I could come in.” He says quickly, brushing past you and removing his shoes.
You heavily sigh and slam the door shut. What is this a family reunion? On your way back to the couch you notice them laughing and giggling like two five year old children. They don’t even notice you when you sit right across from them.
You study their expressions. Their chemistry is something so strong. The way their eyes light up when they meet, the way that Jungkook smiles and scrunches his nose more often when she’s around. You miss that. You miss doing that.
“ So are you both coming along this afternoon?”
Your attention focuses back on them. Of course you weren’t paying attention once again.
Your eyes slowly meet with theirs, “ Huh? Where are we going?”
“ Kookie finally bought a house! He wants us to come tonight for chicken and beer. You’re coming right?”
A sharp pain goes through your heart. If the both you you guys go then theirs a possibility that Jimin was invited too. After all, that is his brother. If Jimin comes then he’s most likely going to bring Isabel. A recipe for disaster. Your poor heart, that most likely could not bare the sight of them infront of you, would shatter into a million pieces.
Jungkook’s expression is ready to burst into happiness or to turn into a pout awaiting for your answer. If you let him down he’ll surely be mad at you. But putting yourself before him this time would be the right thing to do right?
“ Listen Jungkook I.. don’t think I can go.” You start off, playing with your hair with your head down.
“ I’ll space you two apart.”
Your face automatically lifts itself up in shock. Somehow, that little confirmation of Jimin being there, gave you some hope. Hope for what though?
 “ Wha-what do you mean?”
Jungkook sighs heavily with his hand going up to his brown hair running it through lightly. “ I’ll make sure you two are distanced apart. You don’t want to come because of Jimin but I’ll make sure I’ll invite more people to keep you company and away from him. Okay?”
“ Please Yn. I’ll be there too.” Ryan begs, laying her head on Jungkook’s shoulder. Jungkook smiles a little, caressing her cheek with his other hand upon waiting your response.
Weird. When did they get so close?
The first thing you want to say is that you really could not go. But they already know the excuse now. You might as well just give in.
‘‘ Fine. What time tonight? “
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Skincare and makeup products are scattered everywhere on your vanity. You needed the perfect look for tonight that says ‘Yes im doing fine without you’, but in reality you’re doing worse. This is the night where you’ll actually see him. Damn it’s been a while.
After you apply your highlight you step back and take a look at yourself. Not bad at all. You smile to yourself and start cleaning up the mess of products you had  distributed across the vanity. A new text appears on you phone as soon as you gather everything up and put it back in it’s place. Grabbing your phone, it’s Ryan giving you the address to Jungkook’s new house.
You sigh and mentally prepare yourself, ‘‘ Okay Yn. You can do this. It’s just one night of conversing among people. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone new.”
Before heading out you grab your coat and scarf. Clara follows you all the way to the door letting out her little meows once again. You bend down to pet her head lightly with a smile. “ Clara im coming back. I’ve put food in your bowl babygirl.”
She purrs under your touch then walks away to settle herself in her bed. You take one last final look at your decent sized apartment before heading out.
The subway ride was agonizing pain for you due to it being 30 minutes long. Well, at-least you can ride the subway now. Your mind wouldn’t even of thought of that when you were with him. Everybody would have noticed you and bombard you with questions.
The outskirts of Seoul is peaceful and quite. Not many people live over here. Mostly famous actors and idols. The taxi takes a few minutes to get to the fairly clean subway station. Once you’re inside you take a good look at the driver who seems to be eyeing you in suspicion. You pull out your phone and read the words to the address exactly to him. The taxi man pulls of into the empty streets of god knows where.
All it took was a ten minute ride and then you’re there. The taxi man pulls up to a security guard booth. Just beyond the gates is more street but  by squinting your eyes you can make out just a few newly built houses.
‘‘ Who are you here to see?” The taxi driver says.
“ Jeon Jungkook.?
The driver talks to the man for a few seconds before you see the security guard pick up a phone and start dialing. The security is extremely uptight, thats good. After a few moments of speaking the security guard finally opens the gates to be let through.
As you pull up to the house you’re automatically mesmerized on how big and beautiful it is. There’s fresh bushes and some white roses growing in the front of it complementing the white modern style home. The roundabout is full of luxurious cars, in which might be all the other guests.
‘‘ 10 dollars’‘ He says. You give him the ten, thank him, and grab your purse, closing the door behind you.
Your eyes meet face to face with the expensive house. Behind you is the tire wheels backing up and running off back down the roundabout. The time on your watch reads 8:15. Only fifteen minutes late, not bad right?
With each step you take fear quivers inside of you. What if he opens the door? What if that girl opens it instead? The wind blows harsh-fully hitting your cheeks making them turn slightly colored. You raise a small, shaky fist to knock on the door. Your blood turning cold, and face turning pale already. Your anxiety already taking its place inside of your body.
The door swings open revealing Ryan smiling from ear to ear. She pulls you inside without even a greeting. You kick your shoes off in a hurry as she pulls you more and more inside. Scanning the area around you, its a nice huge place. First the both of you pass the entrance, then the chef sized kitchen, which then leads you to the spacious living room where everybody seems to be sitting.
All eyes are on you now with some familiar faces and some not. They smile and greet you one by one and you slightly bow your head with a fake smile.
‘‘ Ah Yn, nice to see you again huh.’‘ Hoseok, the smiley one says, getting up from his seat to greet you once more.
‘‘ Nice to see you to Hoseok. Is Chae-Yeon here? I’ve baked the cookies she likes.’’  You say, holding up the big tuba-wear of freshly baked cookies. Nobody can resist those.
‘‘ No she had to work sadly, but I will enjoy them for her.’‘ He chuckles, bringing the tuba-wear out of your dainty, cold hands.
A very familiar voice booms from behind you causing you to turn around. “ Yn! You actually did come!’’ Jungkook, the owner of the voice exclaims. He wipes his hands with a napkin just before pulling you into a hug.You pat his back just before letting go.
Ryan smiles and shakes her head, “ I told you she would come.’’
Only one hour and 30 minutes into the festivities and half of the people here are drunk or nearly there. You on the other hand do not drink at all. Staying sober throughout this whole party is a must. Who knows what would happen if you start drinking and saying things.Ryan seems to be doing good with Jungkook who’s laying on the floor laughing and cracking jokes with her head laying on his stomach giggling along with him. The others have casually invited themselves into the guest game-room to play some pool.
You just sit there on the couch, munching on a cookie and smiling and laughing here and there at one of Seokjin and Jungkook’s back-to-back jokes that seem to never leave the air.
Only for a knock on the door to interrupt  their flow of jokes.
‘‘ I got it I got it.” Seokjin stammers, placing a beer bottle down and stumbling towards the door. You freeze, face turning pale once more. It’s them. It could be them. Your teeth find their way to your lips and you begin to chew on it excessively.
Ryan notices it and automatically gets up from Jungkook, ‘‘ Come Yn, lets go see if the game of pool is interesting.’‘
You nod your head slightly as you get up from the couch. What are you worrying for? You look extravagant tonight. No need to worry yourself.
Just before taking your first few steps you stop, that voice. That oh so familiar voice begins to inch closer and closer. The famous laugh that he always tries to stifle by putting his hand over his mouth, that you’ve always thought was so fucking cute, fills the air.
You don’t know what got over you, but you sit back down dragging Ryan down with you. “ Yn? What are you doing I thought you wanted to avoid him.’’
‘’ No it’s okay. Im going to be fine.’‘ You say, awaiting upon his arrival into the room.
The footsteps are haunting you with each step they take.
one..two..three..four..five..si-
‘‘ Everyone, Isabel and Jimin are here.’‘ Seokjin stammers, smiling wide clearly drunk from all the beer consumed.
Your eyes go directly towards his. The pit of your stomach flutters with nervousness as you hold the long stare with him. His facial expression shocked but not showing it at all. His partner, who’s arm is linked with his, smiles brightly at everyone bowing her head slightly to them including you.
‘‘ Sorry we are late. Jimin didn’t want to come out of his home studio but I’ve made him come along with me.’‘ Her voice gentle and soft.
‘‘ Yn I forgot let me show you my new painting i have received.” Jungkook says quickly, trying to escape you from the awkwardness.You can bare it though its not as bad as you thought.
‘‘ Maybe later Kookie. I’m going to grab some juice.”  You say, getting up from your spot. You brush past Jimin lightly with Ryan tailing along with you.
The spacious kitchen was perfect for you to escape for just a moment. Silence is golden. Ryan sighs, pouring you and her a glass of juice. Nothing is to be said yet. But you know she really wants to have her input.
Raising the glass to your lips, you take a sip letting the tanginess run across your tongue and down your throat. ‘’ Say it Ryan.’’
She puts her cup down and looks at you with your eyebrows furrowed, ‘’ You aren’t fine. Please just avoid them for the night.’’
You knew it was coming but you have to face the fact that they area couple anyways so why avoid it? Maybe your mind will finally accept it to see it in person.
‘‘ I have to face it one way or another so why not now?’‘
She shakes her head in disapproval, finishing the rest of her juice. “ No you don’t. You’re making yourself suffer and I don’t like it.’’
‘‘ Yn.. did you make these cookies?’‘ A voice says behind you. Ryan’s eyes go wide and then looks at you signaling for you to not turn around. But you do it anyways.
Isabel. How dare she call you by a pet name? You don’t even know her like that and she’s doing this. Anger wants to get the best of you but you remain humble and calm.
‘‘ Yes. Is there a problem though? Are they not good?’‘ You say, putting on your best innocent act.
She smiles as she moves a piece of hair of her perfectly framed face, ‘’ No they are great! I was wondering if i can have the recipe.. for Jimin’s purpose of course.’’
You breathe through your nostrils with your eyes closed. She knows what she’s doing. She likes seeing you suffer huh? ‘’ You can follow any recipe online. I just add almond extract and substitute white sugar for brown.’’
Ryan shakes her head slightly while sticking her cup into the sink. ‘’ I’m going to be back I have to use the restroom.’’
Once she leaves Isabel’s smile drops.’’ Almond? Im- Im allergic!” She says, semi yelling at you. You’re shocked more or so at the sudden outburst that you can’t speak. You had zero knowledge of her being allergic, it’s an accident for sure.
 “You did this on purpose!’’ She says, tears filling her eyes as she goes into a coughing fit.
Shit. You didn’t know if anyone was allergic to nuts here but you had put it in anyways because that was the secret ingredient
‘’ I- I didn’t know im sorry is there anything I can do?’’ You say, guilt taking over you while you rush to her side patting her back. 
‘‘ Get off of me! You did this on purpose! You never liked me anyways. Jimin! Jimin!‘ She scream’s, coughing and wheezing making her face red.
Multiple footsteps rush into the kitchen. You don’t know what to do at this point so you just back away and let whoever take over. All the commotion going on and yelling is starting to give you a slight headache. All of the boys surround her, bombarding with questions and asking each other what to do. 
‘‘ What’s all the yelling about? What happened! “ Jungkook exclaims rushing towards her hunched over body.
‘‘ What’s going on? “ That voice that haunts you everynight finally comes inside the kitchen. When he see’s Isabel he automatically rushes towards her side. It pains you to see him rush to another woman’s body. But that figure is no longer yours so he has every right to do that.
‘‘ She-She put almond in the cookies on purpose! She’s trying to–to-’‘ She manages to wheeze out before another coughing fit.
Jimin’s eyes meet yours full of rage but then taken over by concern. He knows your hurt. Still hurt from the past and from this very situation now. You don’t manage to keep eye contact, so the floor is your eyes’ bestfriend right now.
‘‘ Yn. is this true? Why would you do that?”  He says, eyes never leaving yours and voice soft.
You shake your head quickly, “ I didn’t know she was allergic. I always put almond extract an-’’
“ You knew better than to put any type or form of nut in a dish when bringing it to ones house. You never know if someone has an allergy to it.’‘ Jungkook scolds you, eyes furrowed in shame.
‘‘ Don’t blame her. She didn’t fucking know.” Ryan’s voice enters the room in madness. She comes to your side with her arms crossed. Your own personal savior. Without her, you’d still be feeling guilty and taking the blame.
‘‘ Besides, you knew better than to invite him if you knew he was going to bring the girl he cheated on her with.. right?’‘ She says, cocking her head to the side as her attitude takes over.
The room is silent again. Good girl Ryan. 
Isabel lifts her head in disbelief along with Jimin. “ Listen that’s beside the point. Just don’t do it again.” Jimin says, focusing his attention back on Isabel. He reaches into her purse to grab her Epi-pen.
His scolding is enough to send your eyes into tears. You shouldn’t of agreed to come. This is a disaster. You take the tuba-wear of cookies from the counter on your way out of the kitchen and dispose of them. Your vision is blurry and you don’t know where your going but you just need some air. You make lefts and rights down long and short hallways till you reach a room that has a balcony.
You slip on who-ever’s house slippers and open the sliding door revealing the winter’s cold harsh air. You lean on the railing and close your eyes breathe in and out heavily.
Wiping the tears away, You open our eyes and look straight ahead. The whole city is lit up such a beautiful view for a sad moment. The sad moment is cut short by the sliding door opening and closing. You don’t bother to turn around it’s probably just Ryan checking on you again. When are people going to stop doing that?
“ Yn.”
Thats the last voice you wanted to hear.
‘‘ Are you happy? Happy for scolding me infront of everybody.”  You sniffle, wiping away your leaking nose.
You hear some rustling before something is placed on your shoulders. You look down at the material and shrug it off of you.
‘‘ Give it to your girlfriend.”
‘‘ I can’t let you be cold. Put it back on.’‘ He sighs, picking it back up and coming closer to you. You both stand side by side. Jimin puts his jacket around you once more and before you could re-do your action just before, he speaks.
‘‘ Shrug it off again and I’ll scold you. Do you understand?’‘ He says firmly.
You don’t bother to speak. Silence is golden.
‘‘ Listen.. i know you still aren’t over the fact that we are through but-”
‘‘ Shut up. I don’t want to hear it. Please go tend to your dying girlfriend.’‘ You say, sarcastically.
He huffs, “ She’s resting right now. She wouldn’t have to be if you wouldn’t of put-’’
You turn towards him slowly and meet his eyes daring for him to finish the rest of his sentence. ‘’ Don’t you fucking dare Park Jimin.’’
‘‘ Honorifics.’‘ He says, slightly looking down at you due to the height difference.
‘‘ You’re right Jimin-ssi.’‘
Jimin’s expression is taken a-back. You knew that one honorific word would hurt him.
‘‘ If we are done speaking I will take my leave now.” You say, eyes never leaving his as you take off his jacket and toss it to him, leaving him outside in the cold
This night was one of your worst mistakes. You thought you could handle it, but couldn’t. So maybe Ryan and Jungkook were right. Maybe you can’t handle it at all..
588 notes · View notes
arlakos · 3 years ago
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Miraculous Rant
Actually, you know what, while im still mad from the previous post I made, lets go off on a rant. No punches pulled. Lets do this.
The lovesquare is the most terrible ship in this fandom. One girl is a hyper obsessed stalker who tracks her crush with her planner for 3 whole seasons, while the boy couldn’t learn to take a hint and stop flirting for 3 whole seasons until he decided to move on with another girl. Ironically that makes them perfect for eachother, but its in a creepy kind of way, not a loving kind of way.
Adrigami and Lukanette in the S3 Finale were wasted events and never should have occured because they were immediately axed in the first few episodes of the next season. I feel sorry for those that were hoping their ships could be real for at least a short actual while, and it makes me want to curse the writers for their story-boner for the status quo of teases
Despite what I said earlier, none of the girls are good for Adrien. Marinette’s stalkery and a borderline yandere, Kagami’s somewhat controlling and too similar to Adrien help him grow as a person, Chloe is a queen bee beyotch and honestly too much like a sibling to Adrien, and Lila is garbage. Fuck it, have Luka date Adrien and they can play some sweet music together (not like that you pervs, I meant they both play instruments).
Nino needs more love. Not only that, but there needs to be more Adrien/Nino bro moments. If Marinette and Alya can have moments together, why not the bros?
Chloe’s character is a mess, and is neither redeemable, nor notably evil. Her role as a villain in season 1 is very hamfisted, such as in the episodes Mr Pigeon and Kung Food. Not only that, Chloe also lacks any of the qualities that makes a good “bully villain” or rival to Marinette, and her sympathetic moments (which are Written by Sebastien) are mostly overshadowed by the fact that Astruc wants her to be a bully, so it just makes her bipolar and confusing when her character is tugged between two writers.
Chloe should not have joined Hawkmoth in Miracle Queen, see my other post as to why I think so. TLDR, its kinda ooc  for her to go full on 2d villain like Hawkmoth especially after Miraculer, plus Lila was being build up to be the main antagonist of S3
Chloe got kicked from the Team in Miraculer because people know her identity? Fine. Kagami gets to be Ryuko again despite being known to Hawkmoth in Ikari Gozen? Not cool. Ladybug shouldn’t be a hypocrite and be willing to break her own rules just because “Kagami is my friend and Chloe’s not”. Same goes for her breaking the rule with secrect identities with Alya, only for her to go on and on about the rules to Chat when he pries.
Zoe is a bland character who’s only notable trait that she likes Marinette, which automatically makes her worthy of a miraculous after two episodes and no actual development.
Astruc is a petty frick who makes episodes that give the finger to fans of the show that have a different opinion than him. Queen Banana, Miracle Queen, and Reverser are good examples of this (Reverser did Nathaniel dirty).
Master Fu is a shit guardian. Read my post for more.
FRICK THE FEAST EPISODE. Not only did is ruin Fu as character, it ruined all the good theories as to why the order fell, and wasted the idea of a new villain being introduced or even taking over as the main antagonist! Speaking of Feast, despite the sentimonster destroying an order when he wasn’t even big, he still go beat by 2 kids even when he was supersized!
Marinette is not a good Guardian. Her ability to choose heroes does not make her capable, and just because “tradition is stupid” doesnt mean that Marinette shouldn’t be tested like others before her!
Despite the Kwami’s being ancient magical buildings, they seem to act like kids a lot, and that annoys me when in S1 they are supposed to apparently be mentors to their wielders, like how Tikki was before she was mentally de-aged.
Lila is trash and should be removed from the show. The only reasons her lies work is because the writers dumb down every other character in the show and ignore the fact the people have smartphones with google.
The “Miraculous” Ladybug spell should require both Ladybug and Chat Noir to cast, because not only does the power have nothing to do with creation, but it also “destroys” anything created by the akuma, which thematically makes no sense. Also it would place more emphasis on the two heroes being equals and “two halfs of the same coin”
On that note, Ladybug has too many powers. Not only is she the only one who can purify akumas, and can cast a spell that can fix Paris time and time again like its no one’s buisness, but she also now gets a new suit and the ability to nullify Hawkmoth’s akumas. Like COME ON! Give Chat some powers too.
Mayura’s feather’s shouldnt be able to be purified by Ladybug since they have no dark energy, and (thematically speaking) Chat should be given an ability that allows him to “vanquish” the energy in Mayura[’s feathers similar to how Ladybug can purify Hawkmoth’s akumas. At least it would develop a rivalry between Chat and Mayura, and would make Chat necassary against Shadowmoth rather than being replacable with any other hero.
The are too many temporary heroes. They should have just stuck with the 3 heroes from s2 and leave it at that. Sure, new heroes were cool, but the overuse has made the whole hero thing feel less special. It made sense for the first 3 to have them, but now it’s just like Oprah where everyone gets a miraculous. Except Gabe.
Chat Blanc was a stupid reason as to why secret identities cant be revealed, also Chat could have told LB who Hawkmoth once he returned back to normal was and the show would be over.
Hawkmoth should not be Gabriel. Frick the lore about Gabriel’s wife dying and him going evil to get her back, it makes the story feel too much like a star wars/Darth vader reference and leaves Gabriel acting bipolar, flipping from wanting to save his wife and doing this out of necessity to being a power hungry madman wanting to take over the world ( which is said in his canon music video). Having Hawkmoth be his own character means he can be an actual maniac who wants world domination and not just have villanous plot that rely on obtaining magical jewellery (perhaps doing other evil things/taking a more active role), while Gabriel being his own character means he can be a father that has become estranged from his son due to the lose of his S,O, and thus can have a plot about him reuniting with his son (I liked the end seen in Simon says, ok?)
On that same note, I think Mayura shouldn’t have been Nathalie. Considering Hawkmoth’s plans were repetitive as heck for most of the show, when I heard about the Mayura leaks back in Season 2 (when she was called “le Paon”) I was theorising that Mayura would actually being Hawkmoth’s boss, the villain the was responsible for giving him his Miraculous and the one who destroyed the Order of the Miraculous, and would take over as the main villain in season 3 due to Hawkmoth’s failures. However, that turned out not to be the case.
Not only that, but Mayuras power is a copy paste power with some modifications to make it complement Hawkmoth’s power, by basically giving his akuma’s magic pokemon.
Speaking of Hawkmoth’s power, for a miraculous that is supposed to be used for good, how can his power mind control people and make them become evil? More importantly, for a miraculous that is supposedly weaker than the main heroes of the show, having it be able to multiply and posses people to create an army is kinda strong.
Fuck the Maribat ship that the salt fandom came up with. Its trash, it was made to bash most of the Miraculous cast sans Marinette, and anyone thinks it is good are either those same salters or are the same people who think that Rey-lo and the Twilight Saga are masterpieces of romance.
Whew! I needed that vent. Hope you enjoyed it as as much as I did, and Tune in next time on the next episode of:  Arlakos loses his Mind and Rants for 2 pages of writing!
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do you have any theories about the india trip ?? personally, im not sure what to think about it, but i’d love to hear your thoughts !!
(Sorry its taken me so long to answer this - it just got lost in my drafts cause im an idiot lmao 🤦‍♀️)
Im not entirely certain on what I believe happened in India, if in fact anything did happen at all - but more on that later! I guess though that these are the main theories (though if you have any differing opinions/theories, feel free to discuss them!):
1. Paul rejected John’s advancements
2. John wanted to further their relationship, and Paul wanted to maintain the ‘friends with benefits’ situation they already had
3. Nothing significant happened between the two (yet something still changed in John)
I’ll try to discuss which theories I find the most convincing, compelling and substantiated - as well as offering my own opinions and hypothesis’s ^^ (discussion bellow the cut)
1. Paul rejected John’s advancements
The theory I would say im most drawn to - not the theory that im necessarily most convinced by though - is that John made a move on Paul, after a few years of pining for him, and was subsequently rejected. Its a theory that I tend to be compelled by, but I have to admit that its one I struggle to justify entirely. The problem with this theory, for me, is that this is a conclusion ive drawn based mostly off of what their relationship appeared to look like after India. It seems as though something must have happened between them to have ruptured their relationship as profoundly as it did - and because they were on relatively good terms before India*, combined with certain inferences we could draw from comments John made regarding his feelings towards Paul and their relationship, it feels as though it’s possible that he made an advance on Paul, which was rejected and thus caused the ultimate disintegration of the Lennon/McCartney relationship.
(*I mean, their relationship was always complicated and difficult - but it seems that it was okay-ish prior to India, and then just inexplicably plummeted after the trip)
But nobody (as far as im aware) has confirmed, or even really alluded to, this advancement or rejection ever having happened. And the lack of evidence substantiating the claim is a major draw back for me!
However, I do also feel as though nobody’s really come out about anything that happened in India - all ive heard is that they meditated, wrote songs, John and Cyn fought, and Ringo ate baked beans. But like, more must have happened on the trip, surely? Im not saying the absence of information regarding the trip is proof that there was a big “lovers quarrel” between John and Paul, and that everyone involved in that trip is now just sworn to secrecy or something - but like, id just like to see a biographer really investigate the holiday, and try to conclude what events might have occurred during the trip, because as of right now, with the information we have, it seems to have been, bizarrely, both a lacklustre and uneventful, yet still hugely impactful event. If the narrative of the “India trip” were to be shifted in the future in light of new information, the same way the narrative of “Let It Be/Get Back” is being changed, I wouldn’t be surprised!
2. John wanted more, but Paul didn’t
Another popular theory is that John and Paul were engaged in something of a physical affair, but in India John proposed (or perhaps demanded even) that they take their relationship further, and Paul just wasn’t compelled to do so.
Beliefs vary regarding this, based on how far you personally think their relationship went: some might say they only ever did a little drunken experimenting with one another, and that it was just a fun fling until John suggested they take it further. Others might argue that they were in fact in a committed relationship, and John wanted to go public with it - or at the very least, demanded exclusivity between him and Paul.
In entertaining this theory, im most compelled to believe that John and Paul were engaged in occasional “flings”, and perhaps by ‘68 were even acknowledging that there was some deeper and more sincere between them - but ultimately, I don’t think Paul would have ever been inclined to fully commit to John, because I think he always wanted children and a family. In addition to this, though its clear John and Paul were passionate about one another, it isn’t clear how compatible they were in the long term - and with Paul being the more grounded of the too, I suspect he would have recognised this incompatibility, which John (the idealist) might not have.
Though I admit that John could certainly be unrealistic and irrational, im not convinced that he suggested to Paul they go public with their relationship, because I think John still had a fairly strong sense of his place in popular culture, and would have still been able to recognise that if they were to “come out”, it would probably deeply and irreparably damage both their careers - as well as George and Ringo’s too - at least amongst the general public. They’d still have some ardent fans, but their following overall would have become far more niche, and the “beatlemania” would’ve worn off swiftly. Im not sure if either of them would’ve been willing to take that heat in ‘68, especially not Paul, who as I mentioned earlier, I think might have recognised the futility and incompatibility inherent in their relationship.
Then again though, John was always a little “cocky”* when it came to his sexuality - I think if an interviewer were to genuinely have enquired into his sexuality, straight up asking him “Are you bi? Gay?” I get the sense that he would have told us! Sure he’d probably have dressed the response up with a dozen quick quips and jokes, but ultimately, I think he would have given a sincere response. And so, perhaps he did feel he had the confidence, at least in India, to actually “come out”, but if Paul wasn’t willing to make this official with him, perhaps this confidence dissipated.
(*No pun intended you pervs🤦‍♂️)
Another thing to note about India is that they’d have been relatively secluded, as well as off the drugs/drinks for the most part - and this would have forced them to really reflect upon their relationship. Perhaps John saw that he wasn’t contented with Cynthia, and recognised his desire for more from Paul - and so in such a raw state of mind, I can see how he’d become so shattered if Paul were to have rejected him (that statement could relate both to the first and second theory, I feel). Perhaps John made an advance upon Paul whilst they were both sober for the first time, and that changed their relationship somehow? Just thinking out loud here!
But again, this theory overall has the same problem as the first in that, though it appears to make sense, it still lacks proof; it ultimately isn’t a substantiated claim.
3. Nothing happened between J&P, but something changed
This is probably the theory that everybody is least interested in hearing, but I still think its a pretty valid one, albeit the least dramatic (In my opinion though its still a really interesting perspective to explore though!).
Its possible that nothing of particular significance happened in India, but something still shifted in John, causing him to vilify and reject Paul. The issue with this though, is that it begs the question: why did John undergo such a significant change in India then?
Id argue that perhaps John was making very subtle and slight moves towards Paul, that Paul either ignored or didn't pick up on. Id assume that perhaps John had been hinting at this desire for awhile now, and maybe he got it into his head that in India, where him and Paul would have a lot of time to be alone and intimate, his feelings would finally be reciprocated. But then, Paul never picked up on these hints, and never made any advancements - and this broke something within John. It would fit neatly within the Yoko narrative, because it offers reasoning to the abrupt but intense attachment John formed towards her almost immediately after India - as well as explaining the sudden vilification of Paul. But I suppose that the first two theories also fit pretty neatly within the Yoko narrative, because they all relate to the same basic concept that John wanted more from Paul, and Paul didn’t - and so he tried to replace him with Yoko.
I suppose though, that the this theory overall could also be countered by making the argument that Paul also began to spiral after India, and so some occurrence presumably must have happened to Paul too. I wonder though if its possible that maybe Pauls spiralling was kind of a result of Johns? I get the sense though that Paul would need a change in his life to cause his mental health to seriously deteriorate, but I don’t feel like the same is necessarily true for John - I think John is sort of the type to spiral, irregardless of whether his life undergoes a significant change or not, because I think John was the force driving a lot of the drama and troubles throughout his lifetime. So if Johns mental well-being started seriously deteriorating, I can see this being a cause of panic and anxiety for Paul.
But something that further inclines me to believe that an actual event occurred between John and Paul is this extract from Geoff Emmericks memoir (x)(id recommend reading the entire extract, its interesting!):
‘I glanced in Paul’s direction. He was staring straight ahead, expressionless and weary. He didn’t have much to say about India that day, or any other. I sensed at that moment that something fundamental in them had changed.”’
It just really feels as though there was some confrontation between John and Paul that had to have happened to perpetuate the miscommunication later seen between them. Like if there hadn’t been some kind of confrontation, then I can’t really understand why Paul would be reluctant to speak about India, or harbour any regrets or dismay regarding the journey. Perhaps you could drill it down to the betrayal they appeared to have felt by Maharishi allegedly hitting on girls - but I feel like this was a “betrayal” mostly felt by John, I never really got the sense that Paul was deeply effected by it.
But yeah - those are the main theories I think.
Overall, I think that the third theory is probably the most substantiated claim, but I think it leaves a lot to desired. It just doesn’t feel like it totally fits together, as though theres more to the story - but I guess relationships and peoples psyches aren’t puzzles, and so not everything is always going to piece together perfectly; but I dunno.
Like I said though, the theory im most compelled by is the first. I acknowledge that it lacks evidence, but it just seems to make a lot of sense to me! But really, who knows what the hell happened in India?
If anyone else has an opinion on all this, or wants to expand upon or even suggest a new theory, feel free to! I always like hearing from you guys!
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muraenide · 2 years ago
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☠♥♢⚜☀☢❀❥♒❣ drops these and rubs my hands like that one evil raccon gif, spill the tea <3
the salty af munday meme
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☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?
Answered here!
♥ What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?
Getting to know someone, who shall not be named, blocked me and my friends and then they make a post accusing us for numerous things that I didn’t even know we did, and then threatened all their mutuals that if they interacted with us they’d be blocked ��� 
It’s all because of a ship they didn’t like. It was also my second day on that blog and I’ve legit have no idea what’s going on. It originated from this other mutual who is also shipping that ship and generally follows everyone, so when people saw that ship they started the whole witch hunt. I was sleeping at that time and when I woke up the dash turned to hell. Had to ask my friend what’s going on and turned out it was because of that ship (IM me for details!)
Apparently the same person also made an excel with all our urls + other people we don’t know and shared it around so everyone can block us. I only found out about that excel (and the whole story) through another mutual only like 6 months later and by that time I don’t care much anymore. You can call me whatever <inserts problematic label> and I’d say OK, you are absolutely right, have a nice day! 
✧ Do you agree with reblog karma or is it forced interaction?
I don’t mind not practicing reblog karma as long as someone isn’t like, rbing 10 posts off my blog at once. But that’s different from feeling like you’re outright being used as a resource blog, which in case I would just sb. So far no one has rb anything much from me though, but that might be because I don’t rb much either 🙈 It also depends on the meme... When it’s just a headcanon/munday/opinion meme then there’s no reason not to send any. If it’s IC memes then it’s understandable that you might not find one of the options that is fitting for your muse and theirs, so its ok not to send any.
⚜ How many people do you not like?
A lot. 😭 And since I hold grudges I tend to remember them forever. I usually just avoid them though. If they’ve done something toxic or evil to other people then I’ll most likely have them blocked. But if I don’t like them for petty reasons that’s just a personal thing, I don’t block them, I simply don’t interact with them.
☀ What's your rp pet peeve?
I’m running out of pet peeves that I’m willing to put on the dash 😂 Okay this only happened to me twice here, but I find it annoying when you put so much of effort into writing a long reply and your rp partner does not appreciate it. It makes me not want to write longer replies anymore and just half-assed something until we’ve established something more solid so we can be sure both sides are invested.
When you’ve been mutuals for a long time and there’s no signs of interest or interaction. I understand that people can be busy but neither of us are mind readers. An occasional like on posts or an ask or an ooc post to show that interest is still present is nice sometimes.
☢ What fads/trends are you so over?
The karma is a b1tch trend. I feel like this typically occurs with villain muses. Your muse did something bad in canon so you’re supposed to feel guilty to mine now and feel sorry and has to immediately redeem yourself! I think that’s not fair in rp, especially when we have plotted nothing, my muse hasn’t done anything to yours yet but your muse is demanding retribution without giving mine a chance or, like, ask the mun for an opinion?
❀ What has made you completely lose your chill?
asjkdhas A lot of things. I feel like I can list them down forever. I don’t consider it losing my chill, but I can get carried away with topics I have a lot of opinions on, since I hardly write anything too personal on tumblr and/or anywhere else, so that’s not losing my chill but sometimes I forget that I’m talking to someone and keeps going on and on. I should fix that about myself 😭
❥ Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you?
>> ....... Yes. (IM for details). 
♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?
Answered here!
❣ How salty are you feeling right now?
From a scale of 1 - 10, 5 😂 If I’m not tired than maybe 8.
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collisiondiscourse · 4 years ago
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CODI CODI CODI
opinion on dynamight? :D
WKSDKEK HI AJ
okokokok if ur honestly... asking—i dont have any genuine hate for the name dynamight. its cute its fun and its very 4 year old kacchan. BUT i have this theory that it isnt his actual hero name. maybe i possibly am reaching very far and will pull a muscle with all this stretching and jumping to conclusions but... here are
Farfetched Reasons Why I Think DynaMight Isn't Bakugou's Final Name (SPOILER ALERT, duh):
1. It's too similar to his previous rejected names
We all remember how in the start of the series, Bakugou's whole naming problem stemmed from the extravagance and... overbearingness of his chosen aliases. From the most famous 'Lord Explosion Murder', the written kanji version being '爆殺王' and pronounced as 'Bakusatsuo'. In comparison, we have DynaMight: The God of Great Killing Bomb—which, taking the latter part is written '大爆殺神' in kanji and pronounced 'daibakusatsu-shin'. For a name that took maybe 4 or 5 years to FINALLY get introduced, its oddly similar to all the names that were already rejected or shot down. They even use 2 of the same kanji characters which denotes that they may even be said in the same aggressive tone like how it is in English (but take this point with a grain of salt bc i am NOT formally educated in Japanese.)
2. Narrative-wise... the timeline placement of the reveal just doesn't make sense.
I dunno about you, but in the middle of the war during the deconstruction of the pro-hero society seems like one of the weirder places to put Bakugou's hero name reveal. Especially when its something that doesn't have an immediate link or visibility to Bakugou's character aside from his personality. We've already seen that Bakugou's supposedly changed a LOT ever since his first days at UA—so I find it weird that in the MIDDLE OF HIS CHARACTER ARC and not even ten chapters after Bakugou Katsuki: Rising (where *ahem* important things occur...), we get a name like this which is awfully reminisce of Bakugo's choices pre-character development. Why make us wait so long if it was gonna be something so similar? Is the only change/nuance going to be the All Might pun? Hori-sensei may give us answers soon, but for now the timing seems incredibly out of place.
3. The other characters don't take it seriously.
Most of the other characters including the likes of Spinner absolutely do not take it seriously. Iida and multiple other actors at the scene poke criticisms at it and react in the same way class 1A did when Bakugo introduced Lord Explosion Murder. The only positive reaction being Mirio, who we all know is the human version of sunshine and puppies (and also just a really good senpai). The key reactions I wanna note are Deku's and Best Jeanist's.
- On Best Jeanist's reaction
BJ (its for shortening purposes i SWEAR) is seen to depict a lacklustre, disinterested, and almost even dissappointed response. As Katsuki's mentor figure and someone that was implied to have inspired Bakugou to reconsider his hero name—I find it odd that he was depicted to disapprove of it so offhandedly. His arrival and participation at the war was something I very much looked forward to due to the amount of things that Bakugou might do now that he knew Best Jeanist was still alive a la shounen anime 'I'm empowered by my mentor figure' style. I think that if Bakugou were to do a name reveal, he would've chosen something that Best Jeanist would immediately recognize as something resultant of Bkg's character development.
- On Izuku Midoriya's reaction (or lack thereof)
I won't elaborate bc it will actually take me weeks to formulate an essay, but Deku is currently at the epicenter of a lot of Katsuki's character development. From One for All to the tear jerking panels of Chapter 285, we know that Deku inexplicably is the no. 1 person that wants to know Bakugou's hero name.
So why isn't he there?
We don't get to see Deku's reaction to Bakugous huge name reveal because he's too far and too busy fighting. You'd a thunk that if it was so significant and powerful, Deku's reaction would come out. While it IS possible that Deku's reaction is on another chapter entirely bc he's just THAT excited about it, I highly doubt Bakugo would announce such a thing where Deku could not hear.
But Codi! you say, arms sore and floppy from reaching so far with me. Why? Why would Bakugou make and announce a fake name then?
Well. Prepare your ankles because I am about to jump to some even FARTHER conclusions.
First of all, they ARE in the middle of a war. Bakugou, while heavily injured, still is smart enough to see what's happening and be able to parse when they're on the losing end. Mans is a 4/5 on the intelligence rank if I'm not mistaken, and it's pretty obvious the heroes are losing. The whole hero society has been absolutely turned up on its head with the Todoroki Family Drama, and I think that Deku jumping back into the fight is the best indication that Katsuki will follow suit. I think that Deku knew about the hero name DynaMight before hand, ESPECIALLY because it sounds like something only he and Kacchan could come up with (the All Might pun is just TOO good ok). I think that there's a reason Bakugou's okay with Deku being so far away when he reveals it
But what of it?
I think that to understand Bakugou's decision to name reveal now involves taking a look into the actual name DynaMight/Dynamite.
Dynamite, as we know, is an explosive made from nitroglycerine and stabilizers in 1867. The reason it became so popular was that it helped with a lot infrastructure projects to speed up construction and mining. It was available soon as well in the civillian market because of its powerful but controlled explosions. Instead of a fiery explosion that burned for extended periods of time, nitroglycerine was more of a one and done kind of explosion.
Later, it was used as a military weapon that caused mass destruction and a sudden interest for innovations in explosives. Alfred Nobel, who's name you now might recognize, was ashamed of his past inventions and alias as 'The Angel of Death' (Bakusatsuo, anyone?). He hated the fact his explosives had been used to cause war and death and thus created the Nobel Peace Prize so that his name would be associated with Peace and Hope instead.
If you're picking up what I'm reaching really hard for... then you already know.
The reason I think Bakugou faked DynaMight as his hero name is to act as an actual sort of Dynamite in the tide of the war. I think this was, in actuality, a code word or even tactic of some sorts for an actual plan he had with Deku. Now that he's both revealed his name AND joined the fight again, the attention of all the villains and actors (including us, the audience) are on him and him only. Because 'Dynamite' is a controlled explosion. Because 'Dynamite' works once nefore its done its job. Because Bakugou mfing Katsuki does NOT wanna be associated with his past decisions and history of destruction and wants his name to be a symbol of winning and saving.
A symbol of peace.
Or. maybe its actually just DynaMight. idk. who knows? Maybe Im just really really really really deep in denial.
Thanks for reading!
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ifyouseekay468 · 3 years ago
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what do YOU personally think the teenagers (mcr) lyrics are about my friend ? like i keep thinking about them but im not sure im going somewhere
okay, ive answered this ask twice on mobile and each time my phone deleted it, so here I go, the FINAL version of this post
It's been a hot minute since I listened to teenagers so I decided to do a quick run-through of the lyrics, and while Gerard&Co were raised catholic the lyrics seem to REEK of protestant trauma, so that's what I'll be going off of, but I'm pretty sure the two denominations overlap here. The first verse is about kids in youth group, Christian GirlsTM especially, who are put there to pressure you into being "normal" into "cleaning you up with the lies in the book" (bible), although the pastor is the one giving the teaching THESE are the people who will get you to BELIEVE, who will get you to lie to yourself, who will get you to church camps that on some level utilize brainwashing techniques, and will DESTROY you with the idea that you're "Just one of them, and just need to change everything about yourself and fake your way through every last sermon to be just a part of the gang",
The part about sleeping with a gun and keeping an eye on you is about two things: one, about the idea that God can see all your thoughts, that THINKING about "sin" (ie; fantasizing about sex) is as bad as COMMITTING sin (which is fucked up entirely on its own because fantasy is SO FUCKING DIFFERENT FROM REALITY and that is a CRUCIAL aspect of sexual expression in order to safely engage in sex), AND the fact that these kids will pretend to be your friend, will prod you into doing things with them, into telling them things about yourself all the while making you feel like "part of the group" when really they're just blabbing either to religious leaders, or are ostracizing you and bullying you behind your back.
"The drugs never work"
This in my opinion points to the fact that this song is specifically about being QUEER in a christian culture. It is common for trans people to turn to drugs or psychedelics in an area that has little to no access to gender affirming care, or acceptance because they both change reality and disconnect one from the body that is causing their dysphoria. It can also help burn away the guilt, so to speak.
The methods of keeping you clean is about two things: one, about purity culture, no smoking, no drinking, no friends who drink, no sex, no porn, no masturbation, no impure thoughts. The second, is the way they're able to subtly manipulate you into hiding yourself, into lying to yourself, into forcing yourself to the point of death into being cishet. They're keeping you clean not just from the vices of addiction, but the vices of the flesh, the vice you can't escape because it's a part of you from the day youre born. On a darker note, this could also be referring to c*nversion th*rapy, given this second interpretation of the lyrics
"Ripping your head and aspirations to shreds," Is again about two things in my opinion: both the idea of "losing yourself to God's will" that usually leads one to losing their identity and getting depression and fucked up mental health, and the "shift" that happens at church when you reach a certain age. You know the kind, right? You're four years old, and church is FUN! You get to go to this big room and sing and dance on stage with all your friends! You get to play GAMES! You get to talk to the ~cool teenagers~ who are ~Just like you~ and ~think youre a "cool kid"~, you have ~best friends~ who will be with you like Jesus and the 12! but then, one day, something happens, something SHIFTS. maybe the Sunday school teacher leaves, maybe there's a new family at church, maybe the church changes buildings. Maybe none of that has to do with any of it, all you know is that now things are forever different. Church isn't fun anymore. The kids classes are repetitive, they're bribing you into memorizing bible verses with money, they DONT reward critical thinking or analysis, but they do call you smart, that's because they dont want SMART kids they want OBEDIANT ones. You have no choice but to stat going to REAL church. Suddenly, your best friends are not your best friends. Suddenly they're avoiding you. Suddenly they're lying to you. Suddenly you're too... well they don't know the word yet but "gay" for them...
"Teenagers scare the living shit out of me"
This is what youth group does to you, it isolates you from your entire generation because there are few people your age and a whole lot older than you, and everyone is so much DIFFERENT from you for some reason, but neither of you know why, not yet anyways. This makes you distance yourself from teenagers, because you can't SEE yourself as a teenager, because youre nothing like other teenagers.
"They could care less as long as someone will bleed,"
This is the martyr complex that permeates youth culture like the smell of wine, the problem? these kids love to make a show of themselves and their martyrdom, but they're unwilling to martyr themselves, so what do they do? They throw someone else to the wolves and take the glory. They ostracize and eliminate the unique in the name of preserving their faith. They convert and convert and god help anyone who doesn't want to convert.
"So darken your clothes and strike a violent pose"
This is about deconversion, how the moment you leave the church you never want to see another cross till the day you die, that you want to avoid christians of all costs because you don't want them To drag you back into the pit that devoured you. So you do anything and everything you can to make yourself repulsive to Christians, which actually coincides with your indulgence of mundane activities previously considered as "sin"
"Maybe they'll leave you alone but not me,"
There's a different between a cishet ex Christian and a queer ex christian, and that difference is that a cishet atheist is more likely to be left alone than a queer one, especially a queer one whose whole demeanor screams "Christians be gone," that shit is like... it summons christians faster than free winter jam tickets! They swarm to you frothing at the mouth with holy water waiting to either convert you or exorcise you into purity, depends on if you want them or not. Again, you don't even have to be OPENLY gay, they can TRACK this shit. it's like fucking... INSTINCT or something.
"The boys and girls in the clique, the awful names that they stick, you're never gonna fit in much kid,"
as alluded to above, this lyric is about how, even from a young age, BEFORE youth group, this toxic culture kind of develops. ESPECIALLY around christian girls. They don't have the vulgarity of slurs, but they can make up for it with slang like "tomboy" "nancyboy" "too boyish" "a sissy" "Weird" etc, youre NEVER going to fit in, because the moment that "shift", from fun games and songs to Real Church, occurs, you have a target on your back.
"But if youre troubled and hurt what you got under your shirt will make them pay for the things that they did,"
This is probably a gun. But that's a tad too boring for my taste. If you were raised protestant you KNOW that being an ex protestant, after the craziness of evangelicalism, you would not hesitate to burn down your old church. It could be a secret tattoo, top surgery scars, hell maybe even nipple clamps. Whatever it is, it's symbolic of revenge. I know that anytime I wore my labrys necklace to church I would always hide it under my shirt. I hid books and CDs under there too. Again, it's about revenge, it's about breaking free, gun or no gun, the point is getting out and getting back at them.
and thats pretty much my take on the song. Again, this is not about artist intent this is just what the lyrics reminded ME of personally (as you can see from the over biographical bullshit I wrote), I'm always open to contradicting interpretations though as I always have like 2+ interpretations of a song or book! I never really saw the song through the lens of youth group specifically but when I went over the lyrics again in retrospect it all seemed to really click (pun not intended) well! Thanks for the ask!
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transsexualhamlet · 3 years ago
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sherlock holmes reactions part 4 (?) ive lost count already but unsurprisingly ive grown even more attached to him
using this as the cover image because i made him a playlist. cause im awful
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no legit this is gonna need a read more because it's SO LONG SHIHEWIESHEFSHIEWHF
Had three mental breakdowns this week and realized i do in fact kin sherlock motherfucking holmes. this does not bode well for anything in my life mentally I've diagnosed him with so many things
Oh boy lol you want the list I think hes autistic (undisputed honestly) plus also adhd but on top of that there's the manic depression and uhhh the bpd lmao I dont even think that's it those are just. the obvious ones
But yeah man's a fucking mess and a shit person but in the same way as me so 👍
Some highlights I thought were very funny:
watson: we are in fact going to be waltzing into a place where people are Shooting People you do not have your gun. this is a problem
sherlock: don't worry watson I have my trusty stick!
watson: visible pain
This clearly happens like every day or so with them
but yeah there were some really honestly sweet scenes with them at the apartment and why am i getting soft over the crusty man being gay
have you considered tho. have you considered them
have you considered sherlock, who usually only plays absolute garbage on his violin serenading watson to sleep when he was tired and in pain and watson being so fucking in love with the man and waxing poetic about falling asleep to his music and waking up to see him fallen asleep on the couch next to him and oh my god them
They're just really sweet together for such a completely dysfunctional couple so much of the time lol I just. Sherlock being like.
Sherlock half of the time: watson you're fucking stupid. no i won't take care of my personal needs stfu. watson get a goddamn life. watson shut up. watson no one cares about your goddamn opinion. no i need to disturb you in the middle of the night it's for science. hey watson mind if i manipulate mansplain malewife
Sherlock the other half of the time: HELLO SIR YOU ARE MY FAVORITE MAN TO EVER MAN HELLO MAY I SPEND THE REST OF MY DAYS WITH YOU HELLO I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU WE ARE PERFECT MATCHES I LOVE YOU AND I NEED YOU YOURE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME PLEASE MARRY ME
They're... they certainly are.
ALSO OH MY GOD.
THIS ONE TIME WHEN SHERLOCK WAS JUST PACING AROUND THE ROOM AT 3 AM GOING "IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE >:(((" AND HUDSON LIKE BARGED IN TO COMPLAIN AND THEN WATSON WAS LIKE DUDE YOU GOTTA STOP DOING THIS AND PROCEEDS TO SAY THE LINE "YOU ARE KNOCKING YOURSELF UP, OLD MAN"
BAHGHSFHGRHEWHEWHIFEW
BRB SOBBING
CALLING HIM AN OLD MAN???? KNOCKING HIMSELF UP?? I DONT KNOW WHATS FUNNIER
The main highlight of this part was I have now gotten to see him have a great time watching his homo homie get married
Its so fucking funny.......
I was prepared for a funny reaction by yuumori sherlock's face when he said it lol but. Damn i was really not prepared tbh
watson: I'm engaged!
sherlock: *pained groaning*
watson: do you... not like her?
sherlock: no she's fine she's great you'll be wonderful together bUT I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE HETEROSEXUAL WATSON DO I HAVE TO MARRY MYSELF THEN WATSON? ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME MARRY MYSELF.
watson: yeah... yeah... fair, I feel really bad because you did this whole case and I got a girlfriend out of it and all you got was me leaving you alone fuck man im sorry what are you gonna do without me
sherlock, highly sarcastic: dont worry watson I've always got my handy cocaine! *pulls it out and gets high in front of watson just as he's about to leave*
watson: *in fucking agony*
sherlock: good for you!
I DONT EVEN- THIS SCENE KILLED ME MULTIPLE TIMES OVER WHAT
ITS SO GODDAMN NONCHELANT ABOUT IT SHERLOCK IS JUST LIKE YEAH I WILL IN FACT NOT BE MENTALLY HEALTHY IF YOU ARE NOT WITH ME 24/7 BUT WHATEVER YOU DO YOU /S
I'd like to apologize to watson on sherlock's behalf lmao. man is being a bit too codependent on main
The last thing about sign of four I do need to address is yeah, there's the Horrific Amounts Of Racism in that one and the whiplash hearing it is just ridiculous because they seem to be so knowledgeable in all other areas and fairly... politically correct, taking sherlock's original misogyny as a purposeful character flaw, but then they just mention someone indigenous once and suddenly its all parrotting racist propaganda and just... really awful shit. There's no way I'm gonna speak for the group that just got absolutely hate crimed here but anyone can tell the author just has no clue what he's fucking talking about and it's physically painful.
And I don't know, it's just so bad it seems out of character? Doyle's making these motherfuckers say shit that honestly, Sherlock would know better about. And especially Watson. Come on, you cannot tell me watson is mentally capable of being prejudiced against someone. Please do not make him that way.
I'm not sure how to handle it specifically, or what's the proper way I should handle something like that in a media I otherwise like. Is it ok to say Doyle was clearly a piece of shit on the matter and separate those characters from his bias or is that insensitive?
I don't know, I was Not a fan of it and I'm glad to see they've at least finally shut up about the guy
But anyway yeah, uhhhh onto the short stories because I'm trying to read those before I get to the final problem
Scandal in Bohemia was a fucking ride, first of all, before we even get to Sherlock's girlboss arc we have to discuss how gay the whole situation was and how Doyle's attempt at making them less gay failed spectacularly
Like he's all "ah yes I need to marry off watson and uhhh make sherlock ummmm interact with a woman so they dont look gay" but he does it SO BADLY that it makes them look EVEN GAYER
cause i mean, even the conversation they had about watson getting married back in sign of four was gay af, but how Doyle handled things afterward was in no way straighter.
Cause you know, the man kind of wrote himself into a corner with the fact of Watson narrating these stories. So Watson has to be around to witness them, and to witness Sherlock's own thought process rather privately, so he has to be around sherlock at night, a lot. But trying to come up with a reason for that happening just... it didn't occur to Doyle. He just went. Ah yes this makes sense. And it's Watson just like Sleeping Over At Sherlock's like every other goddamn day and every time his wife leaves town and having them basically still live that cute domestic home life but they have absolutely no excuses for doing it anymore. It's quite funny
Like it was gay already the way they interacted when they officially lived together but it was like, a necessity for them. Now it's not, Watson just comes over because he goddamn wants to, and it's hilarious to me.
LIKE IDK I THINK THEY KIND OF BROKE UP FOR A YEAR OR SO BC OF WATSON GETTING MARRIED AND THEY LIKE DONT HAVE CONTACT WITH ONE ANOTHER BUT ONE DAY WATSON JUST INEXPLICABLY HAS THE URGE TO COME VISIT SHERLOCK ON NO NOTICE AND THEN SUDDENLY THEY ARE TOGETHER NEAR 24/7 AGAIN LIKE BARELY ANYTHING CHANGED AHIEHOEWH
SIT DOWN AND TRY TO TELL ME THOSE ARE NOT HOMOSEXUALS
Watson walks in on no fucking notice after a full year and Sherlock is just. In the middle of some experiment obviously but hes like
Sherlock, carrying around unidenfiable chemical mixtures: W A T S O N you look good you look good! i see you've gained seven pounds!!
watson: uh. thanks??? Hey lol *awkwardly waves* Uh um Wanted to Uhm sEe you
Sherlock: ABOUT gODDAMN TIME AND YES WONDERFUL LOOK LOOK SIT DOWN I HAVE THINGS TO INFODUMP ABOUT
watson: :) ok :) *turns to camera* and we were back to the old days
sherlock: makes a deduction
watson: wowwwwwwwwwwww !! so true bestie !!
sherlock: !!!!!!!!! :))) !!!!! :))) uh fuck im supposed to be smooth Its Elementary Lol
watson: *turns to camera* when i stroke his ego like this and compliment him he blushes like a girl like i just complimented his dress so i do it more because he likes it. this is a homie trait
watson: well i should probably get going! my wife will notice that i am gone my dear buddy bro homie!
sherlock: NO DONT LEAVE IM LOST WITHOUT YOU (pretty much a direct quote lol) your. wife doesn't. get back home until monday. I know this because I am smart and definitely have not been stalking you.
watson: alright :)))))
AND THEN HE FUCKING SLEEPS OVER LMAO FUCKING HOMOS
So yeah they're right back where they were before pretty much and there's a case bc of course there is
And honestly I think this short story specifically was so insane mostly just because of how absolutely fast it all went. Yuumori kind of made me believe the original Irene Adler was more of an important character than she really is? And I think that's. Honestly so funny. Motherfucker shows up for ten pages, girlbosses her way around town, and changes sherlock's entire opinion of the female gender while still keeping him gay?
LIKE NO LOL SHES NOT IN ANY WAY A LOVE INTEREST AND WATSON GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO SPECIFY THE FACT THAT IN NO WORLD WOULD THEY HAVE BEEN ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED BECAUSE. SHERLOCK. DIDN'T DATE WOMEN.
HE WAS JUST??? SO IMPRESSED AND SHELL SHOCKED BY HER EXISTENCE HE DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR GIRLBOSS APPRECIATION DAY TODAY AND ALL DAYS HENCEFORTH???
AND THEY HAVE LIKE O N E INTERACTION?? God, the power this woman(?) has. Watson looks at her once like. damb shawty 😳 and she's like "no<3" and he's like FUCK
Like yeah it's pretty much just the king walking up like "help girl the whore is blackmailing me" and sherlock being like "ok lol this will be easy" and then it proceeded to not in fact be easy or even possible
sherlock like... posed as a dead body and tried to get her to give up the location of the photo but she out-acted him and skipped the town the next day after doing the 'good night mr. sherlock holmes' thing with sherlock completely tricked
and she just. sends a letter like "dear sherlock holmes. you're a fucking idiot and i think it's funny that you lost. nice job tho mad respect" and sherlock just SHORT CIRCUITS
the king comes back a bit later like "hey Dude where's my Photo" and sherlock's like oh yeah uhhhhhhhhhhh about that and the king is like HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN THAT GODDAMN HARD i would have dated someone more noble if she wasn't so pretty i swear im on a whole different level from her
and then. GIRLBOSSIFIED SHERLOCK HOLMES RESPONDS "from what I have seen of the lady, she seems indeed to be on a very different level from your majesty" ABSEHHESHEFHHFES ROASTED
and the dude just LEAVES
After that I read a few more of the short stories and well the highlights I got from that pretty much were these conversations
Watson: sherlock. honey. have you. eaten anything today
Sherlock: IT DIDNT OCCUR TO ME DEAR WATSON
Watson: ITS FIVE PM
and:
Sherlock: *having one of his Moment Moments at three in the goddamn mornig* GRRRR CRIME ISNT WHAT IT USED TO BE
Watson: MY DEAR SHERCOCK WHAT IS CRIME S U P P O S E D TO BE LIKE ACCORDING TO YOU
Sherlock: no one's original anymore fucking copycats
Watson: so you want the criminals to make things harder for you specifically.
Sherlock, exasperated: yes!
I love them your honor.
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tenshindon · 3 years ago
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if i think about tien fretting over chiaotzu and yamcha’s safety one more time i think i might explode so For Once i’m writing out my thoughts in the main part of the post :)))) under the cut of course :))))))
We all know that Tien’s concerned over Chiaotzu’s well-being all the time, like that’s a defining part of their relationship. Even when they’re already dead Tien’s still horrified at the prospect of Chiaotzu dying during their spar with Piccolo. However it isn’t until Resurrection F that we’re given a notice that Tien’s concerned over Yamcha as well. Whether this was a development exclusive to Super or it’s just been a background thing that’s only now manifesting in the subtlest of ways, we will never know <3 Either that or my memory of Everything Ever is very hazy <3 however I will talk about it anyways because my brain is decaying as we speak because holy shit 
Like through Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z, we repeatedly see Yamcha extending his heart out to Tien: Yamcha repeatedly pleading with Tien to reconsider learning the mafuba, Yamcha granting Tien reassurance before he goes off to fight Tao and subsequently understanding Tien needs time alone after the fight, Yamcha wishing to stay with Tien and Chiaotzu in the afterlife, and so on. From these instances alone, we know that Yamcha is certainly more open about his affection and care towards his friends (which is a whole post I can make on its own, Yamcha’s incredibly emotionally intelligent and it’s so good).
However this type of care isn’t exactly reciprocated towards Yamcha- or not as obviously, anyways. Which isn’t all too surprising; pardon Chiaotzu and especially by Z, Tien’s very reserved and generally just keeps to himself and Chiaotzu. 
However, as aforementioned, Tien remarks that he left Yamcha and Chiaotzu behind away from the fight. It’s a rather innocuous line when you think of it: on the surface, Tien’s just clarifying- well, he just left Yamcha and Chiaotzu behind because he feels it’s too dangerous for them. But then you have to ask the question: since when did Tien have authority over what Yamcha did? And why was Yamcha so willing to listen? Was Yamcha just not clued in on what was happening and Tien figured he wouldn’t tell him? 
Chiaotzu is understandable; despite Chiaotzu being just five years younger than Tien and thus being in his early 40′s by Super, Tien still treats him like a younger brother and as his guardian. So when he so casually adds Yamcha to this- to just so naturally say “I left Chiaotzu and Yamcha behind. The danger seems too much for them,” it just really makes you think a bit. Because Tien made a conscious decision to leave Yamcha behind for his well-being.
In this instance Tien is putting Yamcha on the same- or at least similar level as Chiaotzu, someone we’re all very well aware that he would literally kill someone for, even if that someone is himself. The meta explanation for this could very well just be Toei didn’t want to bother giving Yamcha and Chiaotzu anything to do during the movie, and since they were already perceived as the weakest among the cast it was much easier to leave them out of it entirely (though that’s a rant for another day). The issue that arises however is that Toei accidentally (or maybe intentionally) adds a layer to Tien and Yamcha’s relationship, or at least shows us that Tien does care about Yamcha’s safety and shows some type of growth to Tien. As I talked about before, Tien is reserved and doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve- so for an action like this to occur on his part, it demonstrates a great leap in his development as a person and opening up.
And the thing about this is that it’s not entirely out of Tien’s character to leave people behind to protect them- it’s completely in character, in a way. During the Saiyan Saga, Tien initially attempts to dissuade Chiaotzu from attending the Saiyan fight, forming a similar excuse as that it would be too dangerous for him. With an instance like this, it shows us that if Tien isn’t confident he can protect Chiaotzu on the battlefield, the most he can do is make sure he’s at home and assuredly safe. He does this again during the Cell Saga by leaving Chiaotzu at Roshi’s abode, once again asserting that it would be too dangerous for Chiaotzu.
During Z Tien doesn’t show this type of concern towards Yamcha, which isn’t wrong or even irrational. Amidst Z, Yamcha was more than capable of taking care of himself and looking after his own back; Tien didn’t reason it would make sense for him to look after him. Not only that, but Tien and Chiaotzu’s relationship is just seemingly more natural to him: he’s known Chiaotzu since he was a child, it makes sense for his care to be more open and at the ready. Tien knows Chiaotzu and his boundaries, and vice versa.
The important thing about Tien though, as I already mentioned right- he’s reserved. Coupled with the fact he was raised by Shen and Tao of all people, it’s probably hard for him to make deep connections with people, let alone traditionally express care. That’s why Chiaotzu is such an anchor for him: he’s really all he has at the end of the day, if not himself. And he’s already demonstrated he’d rather die than live without his brother.
Shifting to Yamcha, it’s... a topic that really should be touched on more. When Yamcha dies during the Saiyan Saga, the anime offers a particular reaction shot on Tien. It’s not much all things considered, but it does allow the viewer to be able to identify that Yamcha’s death had somewhat of a significant impact on Tien specifically, as he’s the only one with an isolated reaction shot (which is especially telling considering Krillin was friends with Yamcha longer and logically would be more devastated and more deserving of a singular shot. He gets this, however by actually checking on Yamcha’s body but I could touch on that whole topic another time). Later on in the Cell saga, Tien is subjected to watching Yamcha die (or be on the precipice of dying) again via Dr. Gero; Tien is the first of the Z Fighters to show up to the scene, thus giving us another Tien-specific reaction shot.
Obviously, Tien’s reactions to Yamcha and Chiaotzu differ severely; we’ve already gone over why Chiaotzu has a greater bond to Tien, and despite the friendship Yamcha and Tien have been able to build over the years it would be near impossible for Yamcha to ever be totally on the same level as Chiaotzu. But at the very least and looking at the Resurrection F dialogue, Yamcha’s deadly experiences have had a lasting impact on Tien.
It wouldn’t be improbable to assume Tien suffered from guilt from Chiaotzu dying during the Saiyan Saga- he even warned Chiaotzu about coming along, so being helpless to protect his brother as he watched him be bashed before he ultimately kills himself could have been certainly traumatizing. Chiaotzu’s death in the Saiyan Saga, in my opinion, is more devastating than his King Piccolo death.
Against King Piccolo Chiaotzu was killed swiftly, and he was at least able to leave a body behind. Of course, there definitely comes feelings of guilt at the fact Tien was the one who instructed Chiaotzu to get into danger in the first place- which is probably why he’s more open to the idea of letting Chiaotzu sit a fight out in the future. During the Saiyan Saga, Chiaotzu is thrashed over and over again and rammed against mountains while Tien is found in a similar position of being physically incapable of protecting him. The whole display definitely lasts much longer than the King Piccolo incident, and it’s far more agonizing as Chiaotzu telepathically communicates with Tien during this. All for it to culminate in Chiaotzu uselessly sacrificing himself, Tien even hallucinating Chiaotzu amidst delirium.
Tien best shows his care through action and protecting those he loves- he’s just incapable of verbally saying he cares and thus best does it through service. For Tien to implicitly order Yamcha to stay away from the fight with Chiaotzu, it shows us that he harbors similar feelings of fear, guilt, and care that he does towards Chiaotzu towards Yamcha as well. Tien does his best to keep Chiaotzu away from fights because he’s afraid of losing him again because he wasn’t strong enough to protect him- it’s a fair-enough bet to wager this fear extends towards losing Yamcha as well.
Which not only makes Tien’s underwhelming reaction to Earth blowing up so fuckinnnn aggravating like oh my god like fucking he actually kept his loved ones behind and they still died can you imagine the fuckin turmoil and angst jesus christ im going insane Also this is why I needed a fucking scene of these three knuckleheads talking about chiaotzu and yamcha staying behind like toei im begging you throw me a bone LMAOOOO
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theunconcernedembalmer · 4 years ago
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what’s the issue with elisop? is it just bc you hc aesop as ace? im so concerned by seeing ppl adamantly opposed to mlm/wlw ships but im also genuinely curious about why you dislike it and other lgbt ships so much lol
hmm. that is a strong accusation, n i find it just a bit odd. are you new here? or perhaps you are taking personal offense at my dislike towards a favourite ship of yours and using the lgbt argument as moral high ground?
whatever the case may be, i thank you for asking. if u r truly looking for an answer, its below the cut n it is very very long. mind u these are all my personal opinions n i am in no way policing how others enjoy ships. just in case this wasnt clear; i dont wish to start discourse on this blog, especially since my takes are probably... unpopular.
firstly i would like to address the “disliking lgbt ships” bit, because this has very strong implications in itself. i have nothing against lgbt ships. i enjoy them, even. if the two characters have chemistry between each other, i ship it. however, the moment characterization is broken for the sake of romance, i lose interest. this is generally my stance on ships in general, n this applies for both straight n lgbt ships. 
the ships themselves are fine. however, i do have issues with the ship dynamics, so ill let u in on that.
i want to touch on mlm ships in particular; i believe u are familiar with the top/bottom dynamic that is rampant in these kinds of ships? (i wont deny that this dynamic can be found in other types of ships, but for arguments sake i will be focusing on gay ships because i feel that this occurs more commonly here) its such a popular dynamic that is prone to stripping the personality from one if not both characters, only for them to be reduced to being dominant/submissive. for a character to be pigeonholed into a stereotypical category based on... preferred sexual positions? its just downright insulting, never mind the larger more problematic implications of it. top/bottom is not indicative of someones personality, by the way. flattening multi dimensional characters into these stereotypes is so so so insulting.
unfortunately this is The Most Popular portrayal of just about any gay ship around. ive seen it being used everywhere in so many fandoms n it just about becomes apparent to me that ppl come to stories looking for a Ship. not the stories, nor the characters, just a ship. while id like to say theres nothing wrong with that, keep in mind not everyone is just looking for 2 characters that look pretty next to each other. if i ship something, i see interesting n meaningful interactions between 2 characters, which is so often not the case once u bring in the top/bottom dynamic. why is it so popular? because somehow this is what ppl like from a gay ship n hence it sells. ppl want the drama, characterizations be damned. ppl want to see the big kiss that happens in the end, n maybe the sexy parts that come after. characterizations be damned.
so u can say im a little wary of gay ships when they cross my feed. hell, as a joseph aesop shipper i see this trope everywhere n im pretty disappointed as well. small tangent but i feel like this is the reason why zh0ngli n ch1lde is so popular in g3nshin. i try to see the appeal, i really do, but after a long while of analyzing their respective characters i dont think they have as much chemistry as ppl think they do. dont even get me started on how incredibly ooc they make either of these very interesting n unique characters in ship portrayals. all because of the top/bottom dynamic that ppl want to see. i say this for that particular ship, but this is pretty much the case for a lot of ships out there, n the latter part is painfully true even when the 2 characters do have potential between each other. ill say it again im disgusted by the blatant disrespect to the characterizations if all ppl ever want is 2 pretty puppets to mush lips together. cos thats what theyre essentially reduced to this way.
n its so obvious to see when an artist subscribes to this rhetoric, because u can so clearly see it in the way they draw their characters. the “top” generally has sharper features to go with their “dominating personality”, while the “bottom” has disturbingly softer, feminine, dare i say sometimes child like features “to submit”. n thats where the uwu soft gay trope comes from, i believe. which, in case u still dont know, i hate with a burning passion.
so again for ppl with impaired reading comprehension, im fine with ships, including lgbt ones, but the moment u break characterization for the sake of the ship, im not that okay with it. u want to do it for a short crack comic? fine. but if thats the only way ur portraying the 2 characters then im immediately wary of ur content. ill still look at it cos usually the art is really good, but im very very wary. so im not “adamantly opposed”, just very critical of how the ships are being portrayed. if other ppl want to enjoy their ships like that, sure. just dont expect me to join in on something i dont agree on.
.
now id like to address not shipping “because i hc aesop as ace”. for ppl who are new to the blog (hello there), im an ace in a romantic relationship, so thats definitely not the reason i dont ship elisop. its more of being in a relationship has largely shaped my views towards romance as a whole. even before i met my boyfriend, i hated the romance genre in stories n media. most of it comes off as incredibly forced, especially those love triangles they seem to love putting into teen novels. thats one reason why i stopped reading when i was younger, but i digress.
did i partake in shipping when i was younger? i did. for a gay ship too (if anyone really wants to know, its kurotsukki from haikyuu. at least this was one that i can remember, i was mostly working on my 20 odd ocs for the longest time). i also used to write little short romance ficlets that i never posted anywhere cos i hated (n still do hate) my writing. but writing romance when u dont have experience was really just a way of projecting n probably a way of coping for myself, not that i knew at that time. but after i actually started a relationship with my boyfriend (whom i love n cherish a lot thank u very much), i began to see how much all these have skewed my views towards romance n have actually done some harm to our relationship. the bullshit that the general media feeds u constantly doesnt help in the slightest either.
quick topic shift to elisop in particular (about time, right?). i already stated that i only ship characters if i sense chemistry between the two personalities, n if u have seen the part where i dont ship elisop then u must have seen how agonized i am over not being able to have a concrete personality for eli. that is the main problem i have with elisop: eli does not feel like a solid character to me. n that is a huge problem, because if he doesnt have any defining characteristics besides being mild n nice, then he can be whoever i want him to be. (i have done this in my exorcist comics, i will admit this. n the fact that i can just do that... it really does not sit well with me personally.)
n that is dangerous.
back to young me doing lil ship things. i think its also pretty safe to say when u really do ship 2 characters, chances are u kinda really relate very very hard to at least one of them. that very quickly can turn into projecting, n shipping therefore is not “exploring the relationship between 2 characters” n it becomes “my preferred dating simulator 101″. of course this isnt always the case, but at least it was for me, n subconsciously it might be for lots of ppl too. n since this is ur mental playground, u call the shots, n there is no consequences if u slightly (or even entirely) alter one or both personalities to fit ur desired narrative. n u wouldnt even notice or know, cos ur blind to ur own biasness.
we bring our perceived notions into real life, im sure u know that. so when ur partner does not become that perfect knight in shining armour, or when they get upset at things that u do (which is a very normal thing by the way), n u think (very subconsciously), That isnt what my otp would do, something is wrong here (nothing is wrong, actually its just ur skewed perception of a stable romantic relationship). why wouldnt ur otp do this? because u are both halves of ur otps, there is no hidden secrets between them (apart from the pining part but thats irrelevant), n again they have been altered to fit ur preferred narrative. 
a real relationship requires a lot of communication between parties, because newsflash, liking someone doesnt mean that u have to like every single thing they do, they will make mistakes n it will hurt u, n guess what, the reverse is also true. if u do go with absoutely anything that they would do with 0 objections whatsoever, ur not crushing on someone, ur idolizing them, n that power imbalance is detrimental to a relationship. these things are not obvious to ppl, especially when the whole climate is hell bent on getting into romantic relationships by a certain age or some bullshit. communication is key n is pretty much the only way to solve relationship issues, because the other person has a lot that u r not seeing n vice versa. as similar as 2 ppl can be, i doubt u can have 100% the same thoughts on all things. i dont make the rules.
so in ur mental playground u focus on the fluffy parts, maybe there is communication, but rarely is there any meaningful conflict. thats unrealistic, n if u bring that mindset to an actual relationship, thats not going to end well. i say meaningful conflict, because yes, generally u shouldnt have conflicts with ur significant other. but inevitably when ur with each other for long enough, u will realize that there are habits that u must change in order to be with the other person. habits that are harmful to the other person directly, or harmful habits towards yourself that indirectly harm the other person. these are meaningful in a sense that if left alone, it will manifest into larger problems that will harm u, the other person n the relationship as a whole. its meaningful to the relationship.
all these is made even worse if ur neurodivergent. maladaptive coping practices, self sabotaging behaviours, inherent disabilities. all these must be adjusted n addressed. im so incredibly thankful for my boyfriend for being incredibly patient with me when working all these out, n it has not been easy for me to work on myself n all my problems, n im still not done working on them. this aspect is often not explored in romance in general (or properly), n there is a very good chance i would have still been stuck in the unhealthy mindset of “this isnt like my otp, maybe we’re not meant to be”. because loving someone is a choice. no one is made for each other, it is a conscious choice made between 2 ppl to make things work. this is how arranged marriages work, i am told, n i do see the appeal, not that it actually does appeal to me culturally.
special mention to the kurotsukki ship, cos from there i found a very, very good fic that explored their relationship before n after getting together, n it actually showed aspects of this problem in the incredibly slow burn of (at that time) 20+ chapters. it was just one fic (n a very good one at that, i believe it was called Leviticus), but it had a lesson i never thought i needed to learn, n learn it i did, with a lot of help from my dear. 
this is also probably the reason why i dont really want to delve too much into romance now. i know its a lot of work, n everything (mostly) that the media feeds u is really false advertising, but ppl eat that shit up n so it remains one of the most popular genres to date. im just very wary that if i do start on a romantic story, i want to be able to show it in a way like that fic did, the truths of relationships, because i dont want to make something that sells, i want to make something that meaningful to me, if a little indulgent. n that also includes being very careful in how the respective characterizations will change in a relationship. almost too careful now that i think about it, but its not something that i mind. i was never one for romance from the start, n now im very careful about shipping because of what happened to me persoanlly.
okay enough about me, lets talk about aesop. in any au u put the character in, the essence of the character must remain despite the change in environment. so lets say we have ur typical modern au. dead mom, check. shitty mentor doing illegal stuff? also check. autistic boy with social anxiety? we’re good to go. all these have implications on aesop as a character, n while ppl are aware of this, again the way they go about portraying it can go, in my personal opinion, very wrong. ppl who immediately woobify aesop completely because he has autism annoy me. ppl who reduce him to uwu soft boi cos he has social anxiety do not know how the disorder really works n as someone who has that i hate it to the core. ppl who do all these for the sake of ship have lost my respect. its insulting.
remember the top/bottom dynamic? not that elisop is completely free from that (even if i dont know much about eli, to put him in either one of those stereotypes feels very insulting to his character. i wont even say anything about doing it to aesop its so upsetting), but its not entirely made up of either. but now i want to introduce another trope i am very wary of, which is “i can fix him”. im sure u guys have seen the meme going around poking fun at this trope (for those who havent, its along the lines of “u can fix him? well i can be his worst nightmare”) n no doubt yall would have seen it n gotten sick of it in some forced hetero romantic bullshit. we have one damsel in distress with a saviour that solves all their problems just by existing n being romo with each other.
remember “my preferred dating simulator 101″? this is not mutually exclusive n from my point of view this is dangerously close to this trope. lets be real, if it was actually a thing that all ur deep rooted trauma magically disappears if someone were to waltz into ur life, we would want it. definitely. no painfully dissecting ur own problems n constantly facing them head on. real life states that this is not the case, but it will not stop us from dreaming. n so this trope is born n lives n will go on.
(finally) pulling aesop n eli into this, at least in my mind, u have one severely traumatized boy with lots of issues n u have this. nice mild guy who can be anything u want him to be. i hope u can see where im going with this, n thats the direction i see some elisop heading towards (i dont read a lot of elisop to be fair). if u came from my eli character talk, i mentioned that it is incredibly one sided. this is exactly what im talking about.
putting it all together in case u havent already, aesop is the damsel in distress, whose problems magically disappear because of elis godly kindness n little to no work on improving himself, n they lived happily n gayly ever after.
can u tell how much that does not appeal to me. 
never mind the butchering of character that inevitably happens somewhere somehow, the unrealistically perfect themes n implications of this trope makes me so viscerally uncomfortable. this is, of course, due to personal reasons, n i definitely see the appeal of this dynamic because i would probably have been interested in this once upon a time as well. but as i am now, with everything i have explained up there n everything i have been through, i would politely rather not.
n its difficult to think of another dynamic, because of how little i know about eli apart from him being this saint, which easily makes him a candidate for being aesops trauma panacea. never mind aesop rarely, if ever, does anything for eli as a character in return, n its so damaging to buy into this rhetoric, where a person like this who would solve all ur issues no strings attached exists somewhere in the world. they really dont. a relationship has to be mutually benefitting, or it will be draining n disastrous. maybe u say, Oh its nice to imagine it once in a while. n yeah, i agree, except once in a while is a little difficult to keep track of n that is sort of what happened to me. id rather stay as far away as possible from this kind of unrealistic fantasy, i just got this shit sorted out with myself n my boyfriend.
i have some other reasons, but theyre more personally problematic, so i wont go into them here. but this is mostly n generally why i do not ship elisop romantically. if u do, u do u, and have fun, but again dont expect me to join u. thank u for coming to my ted talk, this took a lot longer than expected.
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drewbabie · 3 years ago
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i was going to reblog a post of my partner's to talk abt this situation but i wanted to put my two cents in and i felt like the tags were just gonna be too much and too long to put my thoughts out there, so here i go:
i cannot, in good conscience, support scott cawthon anymore. i understand he is entitled to his own political opinions and he can support whoever he chooses, but unfortunately his donations to those republican parties harm my friends and the queer and trans community, as well as countless other marginalised communities including people of colour and indigenous peoples.
the things that tr*mp did or has said endangered countless people, and as someone who thoroughly believes in equality, feminism and is extremely anti-racist, i cannot bring myself to support someone who has donated to those parties.
i have been part of the community for so long, around seven years. i was in this community and i was sucked into the lore and the games when i was in year 6. with that, fnaf became a huge part of my life and i will always acknowledge it was and still is a big chapter in my life. fnaf was a comfort to me, and thats not to say that i will not still be involved with the community and creations that the fandom has put forward. i still love it to my core, i just am not going to buy or consume any fnaf products, games or merch.
i also want to note that i am not american, im australian. but that doesn't mean that i dont know the stuff the amercian republican party has done because of how americanised western social media is. although i reblog a lot of issues that occurs in america, it is only for awareness for my american followers as well as to show my support or opposition to certain issues depending on what i reblog. this is just to ensure to everyone reading this that i know and am VERY aware of the things that the republican party has done or have tried to do to harm minorities.
i am so, so, SO grateful for scott cawthon and the things he has made. i am so grateful for the games he has made and the community he has built and i cannot thank him enough for creating such an incredible games series that has helped me and countless others cope and find solace in. i am forever thankful for what his creations had inspired me to do and the things that have motivated me throughout my life. however, i will not and cannot support him anymore.
i acknowledge scott's entitlement to voting for who he chooses and what he believes in, but myself, as both a frequent fnaf consumer and a person with a very strong (frankly stubborn) moral compass in equality and holding people accountable, am also entitled to not support or involve myself with him including others who express similar views.
again, as a minority, i cannot support someone who supports people who want me gone and dead ESPECIALLY those communities in america who are constantly under threat of deportation, oppression, marginalisation, vilification, prejudice and even physical harm or death when their leaders are involved in parties who express views that are inherently harmful and pose as a risk for those communities as a whole.
im also gonna go ahead and acknowledge scott's dedication to his family and supporting smaller creators as well as donating to countless charities and non-profits whose aims are to help those in need. its incredibly uplifting seeing that sorta support for those charities and small creators, thats something that i can thank him for.
with that said, i still love fnaf. i was in love, have loved and still love the series for what it was and is. i hope that, in some way, scott makes up for what hes done, but i dont suspect that will or is going to happen. i cannot separate art from artist, but i can enjoy fnaf for what it is, what it was, what it could be and the impact it has made.
ill end this off by saying, i thank scott cawthon for the things he made and how it affected and impacted my life, but i cannot support him anymore.
this statement is a reflection of my own opinions, beliefs, values and ethics, and i hope that is understood by anyone who reads this. please dont let my statement affect your opinion, as you are allowed to come to your own conclusions to choose what you do or dont do. if there is anything i missed or have worded incorrectly in any way, please let me know in dms, as this will be my only statement on this matter as of now unless something else occurs and i feel i need to make my word and thoughts be known.
- drew
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credulouscanidae · 3 years ago
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a real big reason im scared to ask for things, or post opinions or...anything really, is that theres been this real conflation of “asking=expecting” and “one mistake or doing something someone out there doesnt perceive as morally okay = a reflection on your personality as a whole and that youre entirely Bad”
i get so scared of p much saying anything (even tho im very left-leaning, queer, and consider myself progressive or at least always open to learning, improving, and being holistic and understanding of everyone and developing and curating my language to make ppl comfortable) because i feel like having a couple thousand followers suddenly makes me an “influencer” in the eyes of people
i think it goes into the whole recent crituque of “the internet has been commercialised and commodified and we all have to present ourselves as a brand and less of a real person” and that really strikes a chord with me. im literally not an influencer, especially because this self-fulfilling cycle of hating the current internet culture and not posting much anymore. 
its honestly ridiculous and i shoulnt be feeling these ways, and its fucking hard too because a lot of the shit i see is also very american-centric, so for example the c0vid stuff (and the morals about public safety etc) like the general consensus and societal cultures differs from country to country, how australia deals w it differs to how america does, so its hard hearing ppl from america talk in a way thats not reflective of how things operate here, but its treated like thinkign otherwise to them means we’re bad as a whole
im extremely c0vid safe for example (was even moreso before my immuno-compromised housemate was vaxxed) but for about 6 months we literally had NO active cases. so we had no lockdowns, and we did a c0vid-safe continuation of our normal-lives pre-c0vid. this was around the time where america wasnt at all vaccinated and unfortunately a lot of cases and deaths were occuring. so my social media was full of ppl being very aggressive about “if u dont stay home ur a bad person” essentially. and while i knew back then it didnt apply to “me” specifically, its bloody fucking hard to feel like i could even talk about going out and having fun in australia bc the general consensus was “there are ppl dying overseas how dare u have fun” when in reality we were just bloody lucky to have a government that shut us down and acted a lot better compared to other countries, which lead to us having no cases. and at that point we had been in lockdown for like 7 months or some shit. who knows. time is weird. but basically what im saying is that in context of australia, it was safe to, and im allowed to have gone out and do things.
of course, this is all earlier this year, bc now we have an opposite thing where our vaccine rollout was so botched and we have a shitton of cases and are opened out of lockdown again, and it fucking sucks. and now of COURSE im being safe (especially only being half vaxxed) with it all, and it bloody sucks too bc now the americans are acting all “c0vid is over :)”
maybe this is more of a rant about american centricism and all but...idk. i know i could “curb” this issue by following more australians, and its not necessarily peoples fault bc theyre just posting about “their” experiences etc, but it just sucks like how theres a general assumption that youre from america, and that u should be doign thigns the way their culture is.
idk anymore.
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