#im awful ...

[half-shadowgalra]

if I had a nickel for every fictional,

kinda tall,

Texan boi,

who was pushed into a leadership position,

and is transgender half the time(depending on the head cannon),

whom I would get on my knees for in seconds if he told me to(and he wasn’t taken, and we were the same age)

I would have two nickels

which isn’t a lot

but it’s weird it happened twice

@seagull9111 @anxious-alyssia @stardustwaterfalls @ghostermctoaster @im-probably-playing-genshin

[xxpurehatredxx]

sum vent art i did ig

[mxnster-soul]

Maybe just like,, try to make sure he knows you're there and trying to help him? It sounds like he's disassociating, and that can be a huge shitshow if you don't know how to ground yourself (which he obviously doesn't) so maybe try to hold his hand, get him to eat something or talk or just anything that isn't stairing off into space. Some things that help me personally with disassociation and similar issues is things like pressure (ex: clenching my fists and then letting them go, pressing my palms or heels into something flat) or other strong sensory imput like nice smells or tastes or textures. Talking to others helps too. Just make sure to show him care and try your best (none of this is your fault at all, by the way. There's no reason to think you failed if you can't get him out of this funk he's in.)

Oh shit, i didn't realize/notice he was disassociating (and i do that a lot too)

I feel bad that I left him alone afterwards ;-;

I'll try to make up the time I missed

TYSM for the tips on grounding (gonna come in handy for the both of us)

[moriitis]

Hihihi will there be a second part of knight Toby ? Idk if you said this already

someone crucify me. i need to stop writing things that require part 2s because i drop it almost instantly LMAO. i promise i am still very much on knight toby, i just lowk wanna like completely start anew and write something else that is knight toby do you know what i mean? plus ive been so busy with work and lowk ive been playing a ton of video games cough cough kingdom come deliverance cough cough. ILL COOK SOMETHING UP FOR SURE. but it might not be a part 2, just something else entirely. sorry.

[screamqueenmacher]

I just genuinely don't want to be alive anymore

[thatgirlwithasquid]

burn so fast, it scares me

1,172 words | read on ao3

Bob Reynolds centric | Angst | Hurt No Comfort | Post Major Character Death

Bob deals (poorly) with the aftermath of The Void, unable to remember anything that happened but discovering he has destroyed everything and that has taken Yelena with it.

--

He wishes he could say it wasn’t him.

He wishes he could blame it all on the void, to blame it all on some outside force. He wishes he was moreless of a victim. He wishes he would close his eyes and open them back up and be back in that vault of execution and do it all over again.

Back, back, back, back…

back back

back

back…

..Back to her. To make it all right again. To make everything he’s done go away.

But he can’t. Because it was him, and it was his illness, and it was what Valentina and her people did to him; all of that comes back to him. His mind, his body, his powers. It doesn’t matter that he regrets it, that he didn’t mean it, that if he was in his right mind he would never have wanted to hurt them, or anyone else, or especially her.

Yelena is gone.

The worstbest part is that he doesn’t even remember it. Oh, he knows it was him. He knows her life—along with all the rest, along with the whole city and as far as his darknessvoidworthlessness has poisoned—is on his hands. That blood will never wash off. Or it wouldn’t if there was even any blood left to stain.

He stifles a hysterical laugh behind tightly closed lips.

His eyes are wide as they swivel around the devastation surrounding him. Crashed cars line the street. This whole block is decimated, rubble crumbled into piles in the road, entire floors of buildings trashed from where he can see inside…

There was a panic. He doesn’t remember that, either, but he bets that was because of him too.

“I’m sorry,” he says aloud, to nooneeveryone.

He’s sitting on the floor, legs crossed, in the same sort of clothes he wore when he was younger. Maybe he’d be more confused about that if there weren’t more distressing matters at hand. Why he’s wearing them doesn’t matter. Neither does the question of where they came from.

His fingers scrape uncomfortably against the rough concrete of the road. It’s dark. Not the pitch black of the void, but dimmed. Like the colour has been sucked out of it, like something is obscuring it from the sun. The whole city seems to be the same way. 

Bob thinks maybe the feeling of the ground or the sight of a blue sky should be something to try to focus on, to try and ignore the aching maw of griefagonypainguilt...Worthlessness that he can’t escape. But he doesn’t even try. He knows well enough that it won’t workhe doesn’t deserve it to workYelena deserved to live.

Yelena…

‘What happened to Yelena?’ he had asked Valentina—Had he asked Valentina that? It’s fuzzy. Maybe he had only thought it—but he guesses it doesn’t matter either way. There was only ever one answer that would have made anything better, and he didn’t receive it:

She’d followed him heregone far away, where he can’t hurt hershe can’t help him.

And he misses her now. Isn’t that ironic? It’s his fault she’s gone, after all. 

His fingers slide across the concrete in front of him, around him, arcing in a semicircle across the ground. He doesn't have to look to know when they found their mark. He let his hand settle, palm down against it, fingers splayed. If he let himself imagine, he could close his hand around a fistfull of fabric and drag her upright until she could pull him into her arms and try again to help him. Maybe it would even work. The zips and harsh edges of armour would dig into his skin but Bob wouldn’t mind. He’d give anything to feel it.

Instead, his hand sits empty over her shadow; an insufficient echo of the one person who had shown him kindness since his ill-advised decision to offer himself up as a human guinea pig. It doesn’t even look like her anymore… It’s just a vaguely person-shaped mark on the ground. Black. Scorched earth where he burnt her away. He's not even sure how he's so certain this one was her.

Bob thinks of her face now: the way she had looked that first time he got inside her head; the way she looked when she tried to keep him safe behind her; the way she had looked when she came to help him again. Because she came back for him, didn’t she? 

The memory is clearer now. Her and the rest of their strange new group. Had they come for him?

You can trust me, I know you.

I don’t think that you do.

Betrayed. That’s how Yelena had looked.

His fingers twitch against the darkness. CaressingScrapingDigging. He wonders how she would look at him now. Would she be able to meet his eye at all? She had been so brave, a soldieranchorsoothing hand. She hadn’t shied away from him before, but that was before she saw the void inside him—the darkness in his heart.

It had only been a day. He had only known her a day. Of course she would leavestay, please god let her have stayed.

Yelena had been kind. Now she was nothing, and yet the presence of what remained burned itself into his skin like a brand, hot beneath his palm as Bob finally tore it away as if burned. 

She should have left him in that place. She should have shoved him back into the incinerator and let him burn away instead. He’d tried to warn her but she’d taken him along with them instead, pushed him behind her back to shield him from the onslaught. It wasn’t right, it wasn’t something shehe deserved. 

Even when Bob tried to be good—to be a hero—they still wound up here. When Bob drags a hand down his face, he notices that his fingers are stained soot-black. It doesn’t rub away when he tries to scrub it away and he spares a moment to think that this—this—is much more fitting than blood.

Yelena is gone, lost to the void by the time he had come back to himself. That darkness will linger with him forever, a new shade of sufferingpunishmentjusticekarma to deepen the blackness inside him that crumbles to cinders with each trembling inhale.

It’s so quiet aside from his own breathing. There’s no one in the city for once. Not a soul. And he knows exactly who is to blame.

Part of him wants to leave, to run from the site like he can leave the pain and damage and destruction behind him and move on. He knows better than that. He doesn’t even know if he cares enough to delude himself anymore. Everything always turns up in ashes.

Alone, with a crumbling city looming over him and a silence pressing down around him, Bob curls up next to the void that had once been Yelena. His hand settles into the emptiness between them.

As always, the void reaches back.

--

sorry, bob. i'm just a little angst gremlin. i'll write him something kinder next, i promise <3 also yippee writers block officially overcome!!!! :D

[grimacingneverstawp]

Perfect spit roasting team for TAV 🌟

[thereal-caramelcoffeecountess1]

You know that anon’s right, Maeko.

no, that anon doesn’t understand it. they don’t understand the relationship kouki and i have. no no they don’t get it. they just look at the surface and ignore the rest! they don’t understand. none of you understand. maybe not even kouki himself!

[crookedmoonsaultpunk]

Bitch

Are you telling me I'm getting Punkena in 2023?????

[godsworstson]

im so deranged i just checked my astrological compatibility with the jackass guys

[dime-a-time11916]

My ass when that one person I hate talks a little too long, a little too fake, and a little too FUCKING ANNOYING.

:D

[all-fleshed-out]

Silly little WIP I did earlier today of yours truly.... I hope this brings you pain and suffering. Slight CW for implied c/a , neglect , etc.

[riddlelily]

almost gushed to the guy who's interested in me abt batman (most specifically. yknow who) yesterday crazy world we live in

[venomousray]

Samurai Jack and Johnny bravo have kissed.

[fallstreakfeathers]

Sekido pet au part 2 is nearly finished, I'm so sorry it's taken this long

I have no excuses

Almost every day I was like "I'm gonna work on that fic" and then it didnt happen and then the next day I was like "hey I'm gonna work on that" and then it...did not happen. And it repeated like that for 3 months oops

[im-still-watching-anime]

ughhhhh writing is so HARD what do you MEAN it took me two and a half hours to write 900 words