#im gonna kill every single fire dragon i see

[bl00dlight]

i saw this ask on another blog and then recently i came across a reddit post abt this exacttt thing. but it did make me wonder, cause I know u got some opinions but, what do u think about Aemond being a blood supremacist? alot of team greens deny it but idk... he literally says it in the show? the blog also disagreed I think to. also love love love ur fic nd I like how u haven't made aemond and visenya like besties. cause I agree with ur other rant to, there is soooo much soft, Mary Sue stuff with aemond and it dosent really fit him as a character at all.

First of all thank you sm for reading the fic. I literally just cracked open my mother fucken laptop one day and was like "IM OVER IT!!!". But yes, I agree, so many fics really like project an idealised version of Aemond. Which is totally fine, no hate no hate but, I just prefer canon accurate characterisation with everything.

But to answer your question, I feel like it's pretty straightforward and I'm also really surprised this a debate? Yes, Aemond is obviously a valryian supremacist. Almost all the Targs are to some degree and the Velaryons. But Aemond quite literally references the importance of keeping their valyrian blood pure and is deeply obessesed with dragons. "It would keep our Valyrian blood pure." Coming from a 13 year old boy is like a clear indicator that, yes homie is pro-targ supremacy. He is also the mirror of Daemon... who is also pro-targ supremacy.

I don't believe that Aemond commented on Helaena in ep7 just to display how "dutiful" he is. We know for a FACT Aemond is not dutiful, he is ambitious/power hungry. That is his whole arc, especially in Fire + Blood. Homeboy is dutiful in the same way Daemon is. It's not about actually caring for what is right or wrong, it's about his own proximity to power. I think alot of people really misinterpret Aemond's lines regarding duty as being a display of dedication. When in reality, it's narcissistic grandiosity lol. Like straight up. His envy of Aegon isn't "ugh I'd be a much better King because I care about protecting the realm, helping the smallfolk, maintaining order, doing what is right." It's "ugh, I'd me a much better King because I'm BETTER." We can see that in ep 9 when he literally gives out a list to Cole, why he would make a superior King to Aegon. Not once does he mention anything outside of what he perceives as his own brilliance. This is a book Aemond quote when he becomes Prince Regent and wears Aegon the Conqueror's crown "It looks better on me than it ever did on him,". So here we have another indicator that this isn't about being a good dutiful brother, this is about him living out his Rogue Prince fantasy.

I feel like people may bring up Alys Rivers as a counterpoint but again, I don't see why? Because remember, Aemond literally slaughtered her entire House because he hated the Strongs. He would make fun of Jace and Luke's appearance in Fire and Blood for like lack of Valyrian features. He left Alys alive so he could take her as a "prize" to use as a 'bedmate' / 'paramour'. This wasn't recorded as a consensual reltionship, and of course Alys went with it because what else is she gonna do? Fight him? He just slaughtered her entire bloodline, just BECAUSE of their blood. She's on thin ice. By today's standards she was put into sexual slavery. (unfortunately fire & blood is an unreliable text and it was written to be contradictory, so literally there is no actual canonical understanding of their relationship) Also a significant amount of fire and blood was written by those from the Greens side, and there are claims she bewitched him etc etc so that he wouldn't kill her. Regardless, the point is, Aemond fucking Alys isn't a marker of his progressive belief that Targaryen's aren't superior? If anything it reinforces it because he has literally chosen a woman who in every single way is completely socially 'inferior' to himself. Again, it's about power and vengeance. Him taking Alys is saying "look at me, I can do whatever the fuck I want. I can burn the Riverlands down, I can slaughter an entire House and then, I can fuck the last very last woman left because I CHOSE TO KEEP HER ALIVE." And he did it again, he abandoned Alys at one point and left her captive to another mother fucker just to get more vengeance on the Blacks after Helaena's last child dies (i can make a post on the suspicious Helaena x Aemond parallels in fire and blood) and then eventually came back to get her again. He don't really give that much of a fuck, in my opinion. She is not an example of him not being a bigot. And we see this in the real world too. Powerful bigots have historically sexually enslaved whom they oppress. *cough cough, literally ww2*. Sex is a power exchange in many ways, and Aemond taking Alys to fuck, after he spent his entire life loathing her family and KILLING THEM, is not some star-crossed lover shit. It's him continuing his reign of abuse on the Strongs. He kept one of them alive, just to fuck. That is an active example of his supremacist beliefs. There is also speculation Alys got pregnant, but it's never confirmed. However, his son would be another Strong bastard. And it wouldn't mean shit to him, because is that not the ultimate "haha im superior" to interject himself into the Strong line? To be the one which controls it's survival?

Also again, we see it time and time again with Targ men. They believe in Targ supremacy, actively want to participate in their 'traditions', while also wanting booty calls. Daemon does the same thing, homie fucks women left and right, yet still loved /married Rhaneyra because she was a Targaryen like him. Viserys iii also, fucked other women, yet canonically wanted to marry Daenerys once he assumed the throne to continue their bloodline.

Because marriage is very different from sex in this universe. Marriage and sex are two completely separate ideas. So it makes sense for Aemond to believe that Targaryen's should maintain their Valyrian blood through marriage because it is a marker of supremacy; while he also wants to exclaim is dominance through having sex with a woman who is 'beneath' him. Aemond is also an actual misogynist in the books too. So again? In what world does he look at Alys as his equal?

Thus, why marriage/love/legitmate children is reserved for Targaryen women, and sex is reserved for prostitutes, bedmates etc. People be forgetting, in this society women are used at the whims of men, LAWFULLY - like it's their right to do so, and women are very much given social status based on how men view them sexually. Madonna/Whore complex.

Which is kinda interesting if we even go further to talk about Helaena and Aemond...

Funnily enough, this exact topic will come up in my fic. Anyway, that's my take on it. That's kinda why the strong niece fics never made sense to me, because it is so contradictory to the motives behind what he does.

[nerice]

Fall Season 2023 Watch List >:3 !

detailed thoughts >>

protocol rain. happy first esports anime. unsure if this will last the season but for now there's a core of smth in there that keeps me watching. also the op/ed are gorgeous rly where they put their priorities lol bc the main show does look like ass

100 girlfriends/hyakkano. the harem parody i didn't know i needed. the setup is so genuinely stupid but it fires thru jokes at such a rapid pace you barely have time to remember the ones that don't land as well. THE ANIMATION IS SO BEAUTIFUL. also inch rested to see if they can get to 100 girlfriends polycule without becoming boring (komi san i am looking at u......)

apothecary diaries. everything i hoped it would be <33 some say the mysteries are too easy but since im not big on detective stuff im actually happy with the pacing (compared to raven of the inner palace which could drag a lil imo) it just looks soooo good maomao is so fun her cat emotes... <3 ((also ngl. there's elifauve angle to the main duo which i am. delighted abt ww))

ragna crimson. do the character designs look like a b-tier anime from the early 2000s? yeah. does it slap all the fucking way? YEAH. ragna and leo are extremely whatever but crimson (damiacore!!) and angel dragon are SO DOPE. aots no doubt <3 (<- biased i cannot be trusted) it just scratches an itch that hasn't been scratched since the isekai game inspy fantasy scourge took over. bar is on the ground etc

shangri-la frontier. heel turn but. scratches the video game fantasy world itch and it's just stupid enough to be annoying. no isekai bullshit. fight animation that's exactly what made sao fun but without the harem bs that made sao.... sao. (i know there's more girls coming i just hope we stick to fun beat em up with it.)

sousou no frieren. ANIME OF THE DECADE. absolutely no question about it this is the best thing i've ever seen every second of animation is jaw-droppingly beautiful all the characters and the fkcin story the cycles the grief the humanity behind it all. i cry every single ep ;-; i am too enamored by it to even be annoyed abt the german names of everything and everyone. it's awkward but as someone who also gave all their first ocs telling japanese names I'LL LET IT SLIDE <3

spy x family s2. excited to get to boat arc. exactly what you know ur gonna get from it and i love getting more sxf. it's fun!!!!

undead unluck. it has the kill la kill energy (idiocy) we have no choice but to stan. took me actually till ep 2 to clock it was made by shaft guys and now i cannot unsee it anymore. all the chars and gimmicks are stupid and fun and it perfectly fills the niche left empty by zom100 being in production hell. ive watched anime for long enough that i can ignore the sexual comedy bits but it is becoming stale (in which it falls short of what klk was able to pull off. god i miss klk) lol

dropped tier

-shy (technically havent dropped this yet but unless ep3 gets interesting real fast... it's not doing anything well enough to care)

-kamonohashi ron/forbidden deductions (i hate detective shows sorry. was gonna stick it out for his cute disheveled design but i simply do not care enough for the gimmick or the genre)

-kamierabi (what happens when you let yoko taro of nier fame and jin of kagepro fame make a series together? nothing worth watching unfortunately. made me wanna rewatch mirai nikki tho lmao)

summer season leftovers

-jjks2 (U KNOW WHAT IS ABOUT TO BE DONE TO ME)

-zom100 (pour one out for production issues)

[moonndust]

gonna put out my honest thoughts about my current progress in fire emblem engage bc i need to talk about how silly this game is

i’m only at chapter 7-8 btw and i’ve already spoiled myself half of the plot

i couldn’t choose between f!alear or m!alear bc their designs were.. something. i chose f!alear for my first run since i did the “same ingame gender as irl gender” thing (and it was an entire tradition for me at some point).

didn’t even reach chapter 6 and f!alear’s design was too much for me. i liked seeing her in a ponytail tho but i was not gonne be patient enough to change her class JUST for the ponytail. like girlie ik ur the divine dragon n shit but atleast try to not get your long ass hair pulled midway in battle.

and wtf is your armor??? you have individual boob cups for what?? your entire outfit does not look an ounce comfortable and yet you still slept in that shit. the short ass skirt too?? the stocking things??? there are like 10 design atrocities and i could even name more (and that’s just on a scale of practicality)

made a new save file and chose m!alear bc i was getting tired of f!alear’s entire armor outfit. ngl i preferred playing as m!alear bc he felt a lot more comfortable playing as an mc. but his entire victorian child fit wasn’t the best but it was more practical than the boob cups.

still mad there’s no unisex mcs.

anyways the prologue was kinda funny. our ass just wakes up and suddenly the world is in shambles bc some salty ass kingdom made sombron become the second coming of jesus christ.

queen lumera only had like.. 2 seconds of screentime until the ultimate mentor/parent death trope scene bc dead parental figures are a must for fire emblem mcs (unless ur sigurd and become the dead parent)

the firene siblings appeared. albert is precious and céline is lowkey on thin ice because of that damned outfit. like maybe wear something more practical in battle other than easy hair pulling and frilly dress?? (i know i can change her class but i’m a lazy bum). im still currently trying to know my way around albert’s skill set but he’s a good unit atm.

the twins are splendid little creatures. clanne got too many mvps and is still on the mvp streak ever since i paired him with celica (i abused warp ragnarok too many times). framme is just there for moral support and actual healing support.

vander’s lvl 1 grandpa ass was actually doing decent damage comapred to lvl 6 alear. you don’t know how many times vander had to come in clutch when alear was 3 hp away from evaporating.

i paired albert w/ sigurd and clanne w/ celica. that shit was game changing. i revoked céline’s emblem privileges for no reason. i just gave celica to clanne since he technically did more damage. he is like low tier but he’s my biggest carry atm. how the turns have tabled.

i changed alcryst’s class to tireur d’élite the second i got his lvl 10 ass. i’m pretty sure he might be my strongest unit atm (lvl wise).

idk who i should pair micaiah with so i just let her stay with yunaka. i never rlly used micaiah’s abilities for healing but i only used her to widen yunaka’s range w/ magic if she needed to chip in some damage to an enemy.

i always get tired at like the 7th turn in every battle and I just abuse celica’s warp ragnarok to beat up that one enemy to win the battle. somehow clanne still deals big damage w/o the engage boosts.

listen i have no clue what they fed the stewards but i am now afraid of them with my every being.

jean and anna r just there. jean doesn’t do shit bc i alr have framme. ik that jean might be decently better than framme but i don’t want his lvl 1 ass dying every single time. anna is a pretty good backup for chain attacks actually. but everytime i see her i get reminded of her commander version from heroes (bc it was my first fe game)

i spent the good majority of my bond fragments on arena emblem bonds w/ my current lineup bc i gotta get those big boi skills n shit. i also watched my units kill each other bc ig that’s a thing now. (i witnessed alcryst beat the shit out of céline)

sommie is a silly little fart.

still waiting on the day i get lucina’s emblem. i want to witness a gang fight.

outside of all the cutscenes, the game has the animation budget of 2 dollars.

i feel like i should make a seperate post on fe13 design atrocities and impracticalities (im bad at character design)

[patchofhope]

fucking screaming and crying im playing MC eteranl and a wholeass dragon barges through my coolass wizard tower and fucking kills almost all my pets it fucking KILLED SAMANDRIEL IM FUCKIGN PISSED. I RAISED THAT COCKATRICE FROM A CHICK AS WELL AS EVERY OTHER ONE. also killed my horse. and my hippogryph. and like all but 2 of my cockatrices. the survivors? Anna and Eileen the cockatrices Gooplord the III and Ratmantha the rats. 2 of the dipshit pixies i randomly grabbed and the DOG named after LUCIFER who was noticably MISSING DURING THE ATTACK -squint- rip in pip my fallen comrades ill remember you always

[mojang-officialer]

What mob would do the best job of opening a coconut im asking for friend

so i thought about this a little bit too much and made a list of which mobs could either open a coconut, possibly open a coconut, or could not open a coconut, containing every single mob that has ever been in the game.

details below the cut

first some rules.

i've left out all passive mobs that aren't interesting, because you don't need pages of me saying every fish can't break a coconut.

all mobs are considered to have spawned with default equipment, nothing chance-based like enchanted weapons or armor on zombies, as that would be unfair.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

- Villager/Wandering Trader/Illagers: All of these would be able to break open a coconut. Illagers are proof that villager-type bodies CAN uncross their arms, but simply choose not to. They are also capable of tool usage, and some villages spawn with stonecutters. However, this feels kind of cheap, so I'm putting them here, as it's not really a NATURAL ability to break the coconut so much as it is the tool's ability to break the coconut.

- Any fish: I appreciate the enthusiasm, but no.

PASSIVE MOBS

- Horse/Cow/Donkey/Other hooved mobs: POSSIBLY. While I do think a horse could potentially build up enough force to break a coconut by trampling it, as someone who knows horses IRL, I am also relatively confident that they would also break their leg while doing it, because horse leg bones are made out of paper and glass. Cows and other hooved mobs MIGHT be able to crack it but I doubt they'd be able to build enough force.

- Baby Piglin: POSSIBLY. Babies do not use tools, but gold tools would probably be too soft to break open a coconut anyways. That said, those tusks are pretty strong, and while I'm not sure if a baby could use them to open a coconut, I'm going to say that baby piglins cannot.

- Turtle: A snapping turtle IRL definitely COULD break a coconut. Unfortunately the turtles in Minecraft are sea turtles, which do not have jaws as powerful as the snapping turtle.

NEUTRAL MOBS

- Bee: What's it gonna do, sting it open?

- Cave Spider/Spider: Technically neutral during the daytime. Sadly not able to open a coconut as a spider's mandibles, while effective at eating small insects, are completely useless for cracking open something armored like a coconut.

- Dolphin: This is in the neutral mobs section on the wiki for some reason. Sadly, no. Their jaws can eat fish but that's about it.

- Enderman: This one is interesting. An Enderman hits relatively hard, considering its weak-looking arms, and they are able to carry whole blocks, unique among mobs, but they can only carry relatively light blocks, so that doesn't help them. Their teleportation is obviously useless here. Ultimately, I will say that YES, an Enderman can in fact break a coconut, but with one caveat- they have to be angry. The open jaw of an Enderman is like a nutcracker, and if that closes on a coconut, I am near-positive it would break.

- Goat: A goat's charge could definitely carry enough force to break open a coconut. HOWEVER, it would have to be against a wall, otherwise it would just be launched. So, I'll put goats down as 'POSSIBLY'.

- Iron Golem: An iron golem does damage primarily through gravity, by launching its targets into the air and dropping them. Unfortunately, coconuts are designed to survive long falls from atop coconut trees. Iron golems would not be able to open a coconut.

- Llama: While llama spit does a surprisingly high amount of damage, it is not enough to break a coconut.

- Piglin/Piglin Brute: A piglin would be able to open a coconut. Their gold tools are basically useless in this scenario, but their tusks are not.

- Panda: Pandas can only eat bamboo. They are too weak to eat anything else. So no.

- Polar Bear: Look me in the eyes and tell me a polar bear wouldn't be able to open a coconut. It's heavy, it has claws. One of the few mobs I have to say would ALWAYS be able to open a coconut.

- Wolf: Sadly, wolves are too small to be able to open a coconut. The same goes for all cats.

HOSTILE MOBS

Remember, the goal is to OPEN the coconut, not to destroy it in any other way.

- Blaze: If the coconut is ashes, it is no longer a coconut. It is also not open.

- Zombie/Husk/Drowned: Zombies have such weak hits that it takes a full crowd of them to kill an unarmored player. There is no way those arms would be able to hurt a coconut. This includes zombie villagers.

- Creeper: POSSIBLY. While the creeper's explosion MIGHT open the coconut, it also has equal odds to launch the coconut away or to vaporize it.

- Elder/normal Guardian: It does not have any method of physical attack, and the eye beam and psychic powers, while cool, will not help it open a coconut.

- Endermite: No.

- Evoker: While these do fall under the honorable mentions category from earlier, I felt it was worth mentioning that the metal jaws they summon from the ground are DEFINITELY enough to break a coconut, even without using tools.

- Ghast: Same issue as the creeper, but even less consistent due to their ranged method of attack.

- Hoglin: Hoglins do a COMICALLY large amount of damage. They also have enormous tusks. They would definitely be able to open a coconut, though babies might have a hard time with it.

- Magma Cube: Ashes are not a coconut.

- Phantom: Now, normally I would say that they could break a coconut, as they could pick up the coconut, fly up very high, and drop it from above. Unfortunately, phantoms do not have arms.

- Ravager: Yes. Have you SEEN those jaws?

- Shulker: It would take multiple shulkers to open a coconut, as they'd need to hit it continuously to re-apply levitation, until it was high enough for it to break when it falls. That said, it's possible for a single shulker to break a coconut, just not as consistent.

- Silverfish: A silverfish can bury through stone. They would be fine burying through a coconut. That said, I'm not certain if that counts as breaking it open, so I'll put them down as POSSIBLY, though of course it's open to interpretation.

- Skeleton: An arrow cannot break through a coconut when fired from a bow that small. A crossbow, maybe. But not the default Minecraft bow.

- Slime: Slimes are too bouncy. All the force would just launch the coconut away.

- Vex: A vex alone is too small to open a coconut.

- Witch: A potion of harming cannot break a coconut as it has no physical force.

- Wither Skeleton: Maybe. A stone sword could break open a coconut, but a skeleton can't hit with much force, and most of their damage comes from the wither status effect. Now, if that applied to a plant, it would probably rot the coconut. This is destruction, but it does not break the coconut open.

- Zoglin: Hoglins but even more forceful and evil. They would break a coconut.

BOSSES:

- Ender Dragon: The coconut would fall into the void from the knockback and disappear. Not open, technically. Dragon breath is not physical damage and as such would be useless.

- Wither: The coconut no longer exists.

UPCOMING:

- Warden: Those jaws on its chest are impressive, and the strength of its attacks are pretty strong, too (at least in its current, unfinished state). It would almost certainly be able to break open a coconut, but due to its blindness, would probably have a hard time finding it to begin with.

UNUSED/REMOVED:

- Giant: A giant cannot attack and as such would not be able to open a coconut, except maybe by accidentally stepping on it.

- Zombie horse: Same as horses, but more persistent. Also would break its leg.

- Killer Bunny: While those teeth are great at chewing through flesh, canon (Monty Python) shows it cannot chew through heavier armor or a human skeleton, and as such it would be useless against a coconut.

- Illusioner: Coconuts cannot see illusions because they cannot see.

- Pigman: Pigmen were never actually implemented. Only their textures were in the game, and as such they would not be able to break a coconut due to not having a physical form. The same applies to red dragons.

- Human: A 'human' would only do the amount of damage a player's fist would deal, so no dice there. Opening a coconut with your bare hands without using some kind of tool is impossible.

- Rana (& other humanoids): Rana and other removed early humanoid mobs could not open a coconut, as despite their less-blocky artstyle, they were incapable of holding any object.

...and that should be every mob that has ever been in the game.

[rouiettes]

raya and the ugliest fucking dragon i've ever seen holy fuck who the hell thought to give a dragon fuckiNG EYEBROWS WHY WHY—

aka the musings of a filo non-binary bisexual who feels victimized by the dragon designs of this fucking movie supposedly centred around THE LAST DRAGON???? MAYBE THEY SHOULD HAVE STAYED STONE GDI WHAT THE FUCK SERIOUSLY WHY DO THE DRAGONS LOOK LIKE THAT

let's get one thing straight.

none of the characters in this movie. rest assured. not a single straight person was in this movie. trust me.

raya and the last dragon had all the foundations of a good movie

IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO GREAT

BUT IT WASNT

AND HERE'S WHY

(in my humble opinion okay pls dont come for me)

a disney movie with sea culture at its heart and soul, i was so hyped to finally watch this movie

(not as hyped as i could have been tho bc let's be honest DISNEY DID SHIT WITH RAYA'S MARKETING)

(AND PERHAPS FOR GOOD REASON LOL I SWEAR I DONT HATE THIS MOVIE OKAY)

you had the amazing score, the amazing concepts for plot and characters, the solid solid worldbuilding???

if you just told me about how raya's setting and premise, i'd probably be "wow this movie sound like the whole package"

and then i'll actually watch the movie and have just as much trust issue as raya did :/

but i digress

A DISNEY MOVIE WITH SEA CULTURE AT ITS HEART AND SOUL

do you know how diverse sea culture is??? VERY

and one thing i was very happy to see was how raya handled it

it was by no means perfect but

the subtle shows of culture in the way the characters acted, and the environment of the movie was just CHEF'S KISS

not only that but the ideas the movie had in terms of its world and the people in it felt genuine, it felt alive

a dragon that isn't the typical fire-breathing lizard

characters who look like they could easily be my neighbours or children i've played with

instead of pandering to this movie felt like an actual homage to sea cultures

and for good reason bc seeing all those familiar names rolling in the credits had me feeling some type of way :")

also that fucking soundtrack gave me chills throughout my watch of the movie

okay now that we've got the things i actually like about the movie, let's talk about what i don't like

if there's one word i could use to describe disney's raya it would be: rushed

like i said in the beginning, all the groundwork for an astounding disney movie were already there

but all of it just goes to waste bc the plot and it's characters feel so Unfinished

the movie felt like a bullet-point presentation of the story

WHICH IS SO FUCKING DISAPPOINTING BC THE CHARACTERS SEEMED SO INTERESTING but all we got were shadows of what they could have been

cardboard cutouts of the archetypes they filled

i'm not asking for a bottomless well of depth, but i at least wanted more for the cast than just: angry misunderstood princess, angry misunderstood princess with an undercut, that one dancing kid from moana but with more spice, boss baby, and the mountain

and i get that they had to sacrifice some of their depth to keep the run time of the movie short but you have got to be better than this disney

i hate to compare but it felt like this movie tried to go beyond what moana gave us, and shot so far that it ended up back to where it started, and then stumbled back a few steps

AND IM NOT EVEN SAYING A DRAGON MOVIE WITH A BIG CAST IS IMPOSSIBLE

BC IT'S ALREADY BEEN DONE

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON DID IT THREE TIMES

and you'd think the plot for one of the few disney movies with a non-western setting would have more than just a macguffin considering how batshit sea folk tales can be

but you'd think wrong folks.

GENUINELY IT FELT LIKE THEY WERE ATTEMPTING SOMETHING BUT WERE SHORT OF BRINGING IT TO FRUITION

sure moana had a macguffin too with the heart of te fiti, but the heart itself wasn't the heart of the movie

it was the journey of moana and maui

it was that BEAUTIFUL TWIST WITH TE KA AND TE FITI

ALL DELIVERED WITH A NATURAL FINESSE THAT HAD YOU ON THE EDGE OF YOUR SEAT

YOU WERE ALONG FOR THE RIDE OF THE STORY INSTEAD OF QUESTIONING EVERYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON LIKE I WAS

maybe this was just me but like, i felt so bad for the friend who watched this movie with me bc all i could go on and on was how the plot felt like it was getting in the way of itself

why didn't the different kingdoms (??) kept the gem in rotation or smth, when did they decide that heart would keep it and then get mad at heart for keeping it????

why didn't awkwafina dragon just show herself to the kingdoms bc everyone seems to be in agreement that dragons good right? that they would be the key to getting rid of the druun right??? SO THEY'D ALL AT LEAST HEAR HER OUT OR SMTH RIGHT????????

and yes raya has trust issues but it seems to only spring up at the most convenient times plot-wise, we didn't really see her learn to trust other people again OTHER THAN THE TIMES WHERE SISU WOULD HAMFISTEDLY SHOVE IT DOWN OUR THROATS THAT SOME PEOPLE ARE GOOD SOMETIMES RAYA

we see it with boun, but then she just trusts noi, her monkeys, and tong THE GUY WHO STRUNG THEM UP AND WAS THREATENING TO TORTURE THEM????????

i'm gonna be honest and say that if it weren't for namaari i'd have absconded the moment sisu came on screen

as far as i'm considered the actual plot of the movie is just the entire sword fight scene between her and raya

and finally

we get to the part i will be erasing from my brain for my own mental well-being

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT DRAGON DESIGN

WHY OH WHY TH  E FUCK DOES SISU SOUND AND LOOK LIKE THAT

my friend said they looked like the ponies from mlp in 3d AND NOW I CAN NEVER UNSEE IT

THEY HAVE EYEBROWS THEY HAVE HUMAN FACES

HUMAN FACES ON MAJESTIC DRAGON BODIES

THE INTERNET HAS COLLECTIVELY DECIDED THAT SISU IS BASICALLY FURRY ELSA

every time we got a sisu close up i lost 5 years to my life

disney i am suing for damages

if you want me to drop the charges i demand raya 2: electric boogaloo but it’s just raya and namaari enemies to friends to lovers ark

and also for them to never say dragon nerds ever again

AGAIN. HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON GAVE US BEAUTIFUL DRAGON DESIGNS. HELL IF YOU WANTED MORE EASTERN LOOKING DRAGONS FUCKING SPIRITED AWAY??? HAKU??????????

AND YKNOW WHAT. SISU WOULDN'T EVEN LOOK THAT HORRIFIC IF THE MOVIE WAS IN 2D

im not the first person to be side-eying disney's decision to keep pumping out these 3d movies but like.

no amount of added dimensions could ever make that dragon design okay

and there so many more points i could go off on to show how this movie was rushed

how the other dragons, and even sisu's siblings whom she had been missing for the entire movie DIDNT MAKE A SINGLE SOUND???? NOT EVEN A FUCKING GROWL DISNEY???? DID YOU EVEN TRY WITH THE DRAGONS AT ALL??? THE SUPPOSED CENTRE OF THIS MOVIE'S PLOT?????????

HOW THE CHIEFS OF THE OTHER KINGDOMS WERE BASICALLY PLOT DEVICES????

THAT ONE CHIEF'S SKELETON WAS MORE INTERESTING THAN ANY OF THEM COMBINED ALIVE

kudos to that one granny chief though

u can never have enough bad ass old ladies

AND GOD THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS JUST FELT SO FORCED

ALONG WITH WHATEVER LESSON SISU WANTED TO IMPART ABOUT TRUST

LOVE THESE CHARACTERS THEY ARE FUNNY THEY ARE FRIENDS FOUND FAMILY

TRUST PEOPLE IF U WANT THEM TO TRUST U

TRUST PEOPLE OR ILL LITERALLY FUCKING KILL U

children aren't stupid disney. if you tell your story well enough, they'll pick up on the messages you want to give them. YOU DONT HAVE TO THRUST EVERYTHING IN OUR FACES

i was exhausted by the time i finished this movie

bc i really wanted to love it. i wanted to feel more for it than just: well, it's a movie :)

i dont hate this movie though like it's not even worth the energy for that

i think that ultimately, despite all my issues with it, this movie was a step in the right direction when it comes to having non-western stories being told by non-western people in big name productions

i'm glad raya and the last dragon exists

i just can't help but be dissapointed though bc this movie put so much effort into putting my people and culture at its forefront but at what cost???

good characters and story for a good setting and design????

does it have to be one or the other?????

DOES THE DRAGON HAVE TO HAVE EYEBROWS??????

[lunartearrose]

hello. bestie. info about this fantasy au WHEN 👀👀👀👀👀

Aaa I can give you some right now!!!! For some reason this au comes to me whenever im working so thats why its art is all on stickynotes audjskjsj

BUT ANYWAYS uh. No better way to say this but it all started out with a modded skyrim character creator that i made skull in! I thought it was cool and going thru both main q and whatever stupid civil war to skip the broken seasons unending quest is annoyin but fun was had for maybe some hours

But! I had to make skull twice due to the first skull files getting corrupted. So that has a piece to it

But anyways context over and now this au has been in my brain with only vague skrim assets because i fucking hate that that civil war has anything to do with anything of the main questline it can FUCK. Right off

Basic storyline premise my brain had! We start out with a currently human vintage caught between a mysteriously similar civil war :) he's chosen neither side but since his home was destroyed by the stupid shit idiot war he's basically gotten really good at pissing off both sides. Sometimes he gets caught! And the good-ish soldiers will see that he is you know a still kinda baby-side teen full of anger and try to lrt him go with a talking to. But his worst encounter would be when the angy soldiers catch him and beat him up, which just deepens his hatred. And one time someone really messed him up bad!

He ends up limping away into an enchanted forest and drawn by a really good smell, he passes out just in front of this really beautiful lilac tree that was in a clearing like "ok this is a nice tree to die by. Peaceful" but ofc he didnt die. He just woke up to a nymph of the tree he chose taking him up to the center of the tree. And that's how he befriends Skull, he's recovering with him and keeps mumbling about how nice the smell is while skull both cares for him and looks around for his potion savvy friend. Once vin is healed up by aviators he realizes pretty quick that this forest is very much between the war path and figures it's highly appropriate to set traps all over!!! But ofc giving avi and skull very specific instructions on how to avoid the things he sets. He also makes good pals with omega in the town nearby bc she helps at an institude and she's been sneaking him into their library to read up on nymphs and share his own notes in return. Shes like you're my little brother and hes like fuck u (but also thank you sorry) and he gets to discover he has a high affinity for magic despite being human. Weird! Anyways now that he has a place of study he can figure out how to teach skull weapons.

But all is not peaceful for long, bc some old shitty wizard trails this knowledgeable little jerkwad, because variant nymphs are rare! And as the guy comes out of the bushes and pisses vintage off by treating skull like a specimen and taking out a pair of scissors like, "i wonder if its really true that you can take memories of one by severing branches from its tree:)" Vintage basically attacks the guy! Because no taking Skull's memories! And skull helps of course bc friend, but unfortunately this guy is very strong and seasoned. So when vintage almost gets a good life ending hit, the wizard wounds him heavily (resulting in an x-shaped scar deep on his face that got him bad in one eye) and opens a portal to basically hell! Vin is gonna fall in but skull makes the effort to try and use the roots of his tree to pull him out. But knowing he can get sucked in too, vintage just makes a promise to get out somehow and come back, sealing it by giving the gift of a small ring he was saving. Unknown to him once he falls and portal closes, skull definitely makes the wizard into plant food! But on the floor of this hellscape, vintage finds himself with some flowers and seeds that had fallen from the tree, a tail, and a new nubby pair of horms and wings. But despite this, he gets up, gathers the seeds, and thinking back on his affinity for magic, he decides he will grow the lilacs while he figures out an escape, all the while being reminded of skull every time he looks at the stuff. It takes some years, and some demons also looking for an escape love his tree and his story (mainly double who helped persuade spirits into protecting the tree and gave vin tips on horn and wing upkeep) but eventually vin has his break when he hears omega call and together they pry open a portal out of there. He's pulled along by a red sole (very excited feral magician) and now he and double are finally out. Double introduces himself while vintage, with magical hell-lilacs tied around tail, disguises his demon features and runs off to find skull.

Only to find the entire forest burned down. He's in shock for some time, wanting to know how and why. One of the last things he saw was a killing blow from skull, it couldn't have been that wizard- but then he spots a soldier's settlement nearby. Hidden amongst charred trees. They chatted merrily, loading up gathered game, and when he asked, they told him the forest was another victim of their pointless war. It wasn't even a turning point, and one of them even laughed and said they'd get "the bad guys" next time.

When the sick of this, much older teen, gets angry enough that his horn-hiding illusion falls, they all quite suddenly realize they've majorly screwed up. And vintage figures out that he has a taste for souls. Red finds him again after though with a gift, a calm pet and a gentle informing that he should be able to visit his hell lilac tree anytime he wants at least. A nice gift, but vintage is too angry at the moment to appreciate it and decides that hes ending the war himself by killing every single person directly involved with it! At times the armies had tried to work together to stop him, but with the power to morph melificent style into a dragon is a pretty solid way to make sure you're just wasting lives, and people figure out pretty quick it's the commanders he wants. Those are sacrificed, but now you just have a very powerful demon with nowhere to place his still burning grief that's very very hard to approach! But word gets around as it does and a blue group of adventurers take up the task of calming the demon and dealing with his haywire magic and deliver a hard truth - that he might have to move on with the friends he made along the way. Post fight, the vampire cruising with blue team scoops vin with some tlc plans and asks that blue team to locate the friends vintage had, and maybe even look into his older friends. And once vintage is awake in a rather cleanly and impressive vampire mansion, he's given news that emperor had heard of a wood elf taking care of a rather flowerless and purple nymph, working with a lot more potions than usual. One can't even begin to describe how relieved Vintage is by this info that his first friend, at the very least, is still alive. It may just take time to get to him with post-magic owchies and all, so emperor decides to send out a nice and classy letter to those friends he had found, inviting them over.

Oh and the only reason skull miraculously survived the warring and forest fire is definitely becausee of the lilac tree currently sitting pretty in hell

SO UH YEAH THATS MY PLOT SO FAR FOR THIS FANTASY AU YEAH VERY WILD I HATE CIVIL WAR QUESTS FUCK CIVIL WAR QUESTS

[miusiu]

my got 8x03 thoughts here so i don’t spam twit again.....

Things i liked about this ep:

- Sansa (as always) -- “I’m not abandoning my people”, her being a witty queen whilst telling tyrion his witty comments wouldn’t be helpful in the battle above, her leaving her place of relative safety, having to battle with her terror to go and defend her people, even if it was futile and just buying them a few minutes (cue sobbing)

- sansa doing all that in front of dany’s Advisory Team, varys specifically, and letting them see that on top of all the practical planning for war and for her people, she’s genuinely here every step of the way to defend the north and anyone in it

- arya. every goddamn scene of her

- all of arya’s s1 callbacks, not today to the god of death and then running of to destroy the walking embodiment of death.... who else could ever!!!!!!! and her passing on the true stark knowledge of stick em with the pointy end

- arya’s video game stealth mission in the library... we love the last of us

- on that note, arya and sansa working together and trusting each other in every moment of their season 7 and 8 lives yas queens

- arya and the hound  best surrogate father/daughtership, and that including sandor working thru his fire thing for her

- mel being a badass with all her fire magicksz and the #tension she always brings to any scene she’s in... 

- mel getting that lovely peaceful end, on her own terms, after fighting and winning a battle for all humanity

- the dragonriders being almost totally useless, dragonfire being useless against Mx Night King... u can’t have all that power and just have everything go ur way

- beric’s T pose as he got stabbed to death... we love you jesus

- lyanna mormont being the absolute legend that she is and always will be she is living and well and she’s going to continue house mormont’s name :) 

- dani truly did nothing i have to laugh...

- grey worm surviving bc we WILL get that GW/missandei honeymoon in naath so help me god

- jorah completing his journey and dying in time for dani to lose any kind of moral compass that she had if she ever listened to him

- i just realised when the hound/mel leave the room they’d been in with arya.... they just had to kill wight!beric... it hurts........ 

- the fact that they had barely a chance to speak bc the dialogue from these writers is so extremely hit and miss lmao

- jon being a dumbass as usual and trying to fight the NK one on one without considering the field of corpses he’s running into... also the plot hole of dragonfire not burning said corpses before that. yes i liked it

- drogon just ollying outtie from dani once again... loyal son

- the night king being a bad bitch at hand to hand combat bc he’s like 8000 years old

we know for sure there’s gonna be a dance of dragons 2.0 because all that sfx money is being put into another, better-lit, sequence of dragons fighting mid-air and not ghost

things i didn’t like:

- killing lyanna............ a tween gal with the world at her toiny feet..... and in such a violent way lol it was jsutksljflsdf like they can make her badass without putting the viewer thru watching a child get brutalised

- how only two characters you could truly class as Main characters died.... the no-stakes battle of LIFE AND DEATH isn’t rly being sold to us as viewers when u only see brienne/jaime/tormund/gendry fighting in the courtyard of winterfel like.... it’s beyond the wall 2.0 and this time the other half of old married couple beric and thoros died

- they reanimate the fuckin dead in winterfell and we don’t get a single #memory come back to undead life from the crypts? not explicitly? u don’t have to retraumatise the characters but put SOME stakes in, emotional or physical, please.... 

- the crypts were never gonna be safe, but the amount of times it was emphasised how safe it was in 8x02... really they didn’t do anything with those scenes, they didn’t have the shireen stand-in come to the forefront....

- also they coulda focused on sansa actually fighting the wights but ok... it’s like all of her scenes in this were 90% complete without real payoff and i just have to infer it, being a sansa stan 4 lyf

- dani’s two foreign armies, being moc, just uhhhh being brought over to die..... en masse.... just one single named character that gets to magically survive against all odds

- ik that theon was supposed to be best at archery but the fact that he just magically was the last ironborn defender around bran to go......im glad he got his redemption n shit but omg i once again must laugh

- genuinely couldn’t tell u if rhaegal is alive but seeing as every other main character is here i’m sure he’s fine

- the reawightening, the second round of troops of the dead, was all nice and dramatic but did they really not have a strategy for this? reallly?  after hardhome?

- i feel like edd’s death was death number 40029 where sam Isn’t Moving and someone Needs to Save him and they Die Because Of It and i’m not about this... man’s killed a white walker let him live without guilt for three seconds

-jon just avoiding the dead dragon fire by the skin of his teeth fifty times... a good diversion from miss arya’s mad dash across winterfell but omg was ex-king in the north rly gonna FIGHT A WIGHT DRAGON WITH NOWT BUT A VALYRIAN STEEL SWORDDDDD

tldr

arya is that bitch. im happy for mel, witch queen

[words-writ-in-starlight]

the borgias for the asks?

FOLKS THIS IS GONNA GET NSFW FAIR WARNING.

For this meme, which I love.

name ur politically correct ship that no one ever questions

…is there even such a thing in Borgias?  Um…I think not.  How about my ‘supported by canon’ ship, which is Cesare/Lucrezia.

now name ur trash ship

CESARE/MICHELETTO.  But like specifically in this really complicated power dynamic where Cesare’s emotions are all tangled up with his overwhelming need to prove that he’s in control of something, of anything, and God, Micheletto offers up his throat to the knife as sweetly and obediently as a lamb raised for the slaughter and Cesare loves that equally as much as anything else.  And Micheletto loves Cesare like a man worshiping his god, inextricable and helpless and sacrificial, a love that’s all about loyalty and penance and going to his knees and blood on the altar.

and ur really trashy im-going-to-hell ship

Cesare/Micheletto/Lucrezia, in which Cesare loves Lucrezia and Lucrezia loves Cesare and Micheletto loves Cesare so much (see above) and he would die for Lucrezia, at first because Cesare loves her and later because Micheletto is loyal to her himself (he does not want her the way they both want Cesare, and cannot love her the way he loves Cesare because there is only space in his heart for one love like that, but they find a common ground in Cesare and Micheletto would do a great many things to keep Lucrezia’s lily-white hands clean of blood), and Lucrezia’s children calls them both Uncle and Micheletto is bemused by this while Cesare is pained and it’s just all really complicated and awful and yeah, no one is really at ease but they’re happier than they could ever otherwise be.

This ship gets 100000% messier better when you add the fact that both Cesare and Lucrezia are married to the mix.  Because can you imagine the deals and maneuvering that have to be done in order to keep the balance copacetic.

who is your cinnamon roll fave who everyone loves

Oh, Paolo, my poor boy.  And also Djem.  All these people Juan “Fuck-ass” Borgia has killed.  Does Lucrezia count, or does she lose Cinnamon Roll status after she commits cold-blooded murder?

who is your sinnamon roll fave who everyone loves to hate/hates to love

…I don’t…I don’t even know.  There is no fandom to speak of, so I’m not sure who would fall into this category.  Giulia.  Rodrigo/Alexander VI.  

who is your trash fave who is so problematic they probably have hate tumblrs dedicated to them

EVERYONE.  ALL OF THEM.  ESPECIALLY MICHELETTO AND CESARE.  BUT TBH YOU DON’T WATCH THIS DUMPSTER FIRE OF A SHOW FOR THE CINNAMON ROLLS.

what is ur  guiltiest guilty fave fandom

This one?????

what is the fic you want to write/read but can’t because it is too full of Sin

Oh my buddy my dude it’s all here?  Like, there is no fic I can think of that’s more sinful than the show.

…oh wait, no, AU where Cesare and Lucrezia happen sooner and she sneaks into the confessional and sucks him off while he’s wearing his cardinal’s vestments, and the whole fic is heavily laden with imagery of Lucrezia as both Madonna and supplicant and also of Intercession and some complicated feelings about God, and Cesare being very VERY conflicted about his sister’s glorious golden hair spread across the blood red of his vestments.

There, I hope that was gratifying for everyone.

what is the most sinful fic you have ever read/written

I swear TO GOD that I am still writing that one porn fic with Micheletto and Cesare and scars as heraldry and the giving of orders and sexually tense removal of vestments.

what is the worst thing you want to become canon (character death, trash-ship etc)

Literally every single thing in this post, but tbh all my darkest desires are fulfilled within like the first two episodes when Micheletto takes a cat ‘o nine tails and hands it to Cesare and looks him dead in the eye as he says, “So whip me, my lord.”

what is your most sinful headcanon

Cesare has always had a powerful preference for blondes, the more golden their hair, the better.  He has a recurring dream about a beautiful woman sitting above him on a bed of gold cloth, her hair falling around them both as she kisses his lips and he fucks her.  His preference for fair-haired women is common knowledge.  The fact that it stems from a dream about his sister is not.  

Furthermore, I definitely agree with Wilde that Cesare has definitely had a dream about fucking his sister’s hair.  Cesare has a thing for his sister’s hair.

As for Cesare/Micheletto, c’mon now, we can all agree that they’ve fucked while he was wearing his vestments more than once.

what is your cutest headcanon

Um…when they were younger, Lucrezia taught Cesare how to braid her hair.  He still remembers, it’s A Thing.  I also recognize that this is not so much ‘cute’ in light of the previous answer.

what is your heart-breakingist head canon

THE END OF THE MOVIE SCRIPT????

Oh, and obviously the fact that none of the Borgias really believe in God (they observe the traditions, but even the Pope doesn’t really have faith) save for Cesare, who believes with all his heart in the prayers and sacraments he says every day, and believes with all his heart that he’s going to Hell, and sides with his father and his family anyway.  I find that very tragic.

what is ur crackiest crack ship

Cesare/Good Sense, tied with Lucrezia/Consistent And Prolonged Happiness

what is ur marginally less cracky crack ship

Cesare/Craftiness, which is tied with Micheletto/Religion, because you want to talk about people who definitely believe in God and definitely do terrible things anyway and basically just have a profoundly complicated relationship with religion and kind of approach murder as a religious connection not unlike that of a confessor to a supplicant, Micheletto’s your boy.  CAN YOU TELL THAT I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS A L O T.

what is ur favourite ridiculous au

Um…this Temeraire AU from @wildehacked.  (Incidentally, in the Black Sails Temeraire AU, Miranda would be a dragon and Flint is her captain’s beloved and when her captain is cruelly ripped away from them both, she and Flint escape because Miranda can’t stand another captain and Flint just needs out and it’s all very terrible.  I digress.)

Also, I’m really a sucker for daemon AUs!  I have no idea what this one would look like except that Micheletto would have a hunting hound, the kind of rangy mixed-breed creature whose jaws can crack bone and whose loyalty stretches beyond the grave, and everyone believes that Rodrigo Borgia/Alexander VI has a white dove.  (The snake he keeps quite literally up his sleeve is a melanistic asp.  Cesare thinks this is funny, in a bitter sort of way.)

[betta-resplendent]

i want to get back into skyrim. I left one of my games behind a while back after I started playing...idfk what i was playing actually, maybe fallout 4 for the upteenth time (still can’t get into it? idk why). I really loved the character tbh. I played a Dagi-raht female (because i can dont judge me) who was...a bit messed up in her moral compass? I legit wanted to make a story based on my adventures of Skyrim, starting from her beginning to wherever I feel is a good stopping point for her. The game is...heavily modded, so spoilers for the mod Clockwork (OH MY GOD GET THIS MOD IT’S SO GOOD) and Skyrim in general. I try to be a good person IRL even though I have a lot of anger built up, but I even have guilt in a video game, to the point where I reload a save hours prior to the choice just so I don’t have to live with the guilt of murdering someone. I accidentally made Dorian in DA:I super angry and it broke my heart.  It honestly feels so good to play an evil/rough character for once, and since in Skyrim there are like...negligible consequences for my actions (ooooh noooo a guard got pissed at me whatever will i do and 50 NPC’s have the same voices) it feels like a good place to go ham and not feel super guilty for acting like an asshat.

her name is Queras and im gonna gush about her for a minute im sorry. it’s long and some of it is pure evil but it was fun as hell. Bold are my personal fave moments. I should really write a story and put it out there like I did for previous characters like my mage warrior Dragonborn and her husband Onmund, or the lesbian Dragonborn healer and her Dark Brotherhood lover...ttthhhhat never got finished whoops

I sort of figured that the Dagi-Raht are a close cousin to Khajiit, so I ran with that as part of her lore. She’s female, around 18-22. Kind of selfish, huge adrenaline junkie. Mostly just serves herself. ‘Slightly psychotic’ is how a friend put it when I relayed how I was playing to him. She travels with Garm the wolfdog. Her family is deceased, has considered adopting children if she can ‘find a use for them’. In other words, no, because I hate the way adoption works in Skyrim. There’s no point aside from taking orphans off the streets (which dont get me wrong is really really great just not a great DLC IMO, I get annoyed when I drop my stuff off and have two children, a crab and a fox running around and tripping me up). She’s a stealth archer/lockpick. Has considered taking up magic, but doesn’t want to spend her time at a college to do it. Has no particular interest in any guilds unless there’s lots of money involved. She honestly has no interest in the war, and would sooner pt them against each other, wait for them to die, and loot the bodies.

Notable moments from my playthrough, as told in ‘rp format’:

[Using Alternate Start]

Broke out of Prison after being arrested for thievery. How was she to know that bag of coins was spoken for?

Came across Helgen’s ruins after the dragon attack. Found Hadvar in a cave. Saved Hadvar. Got distracted on her way to Whiterun chasing butterflies and bandits.

Told Braith of Whiterun to drown in a river when she started getting bratty. Paid a guard to spread rumors of her eating beetles. Laughed at her tears. Never heard her bullying again.

Stole money from a family crypt while the living descendant watched helplessly.

Found Alva’s journal in Morthal. Killed her in the night. Raided vamp lair. Told no one.

-SPOILERS FOR CLOCKWORK-

Was chased by a Ghost in Velothi tunnels. Found a skull she thought was particularly endearing. Took the skull with her as a trophy.

Was trapped in Clockwork Castle for two months. Found Ludwig dead in a false wardrobe. Is hit with pity for the first time. Burned him and his journals.

Retrieved new heart for Lamashtu. Felt sorry for her and Lahar. She visits the castle every few months for a cup of tea and small talk.

-END SPOILERS FOR CLOCKWORK-

Retrieved Eldergleam Sap for Danica Pure-Spring. Became annoyed with Maurice Jondrelle’s yammering. Killed him and propped him up against the Gildergreen tree with a book over his face.

Brought the golden claw back to Lucan Valerius in Riverwood. Stole it back to keep in her personal collection. Has no regrets.

Threw her own boots into the ocean to prove a point. The point was forgotten.  (in reality, i was pissed that every single marauder there could hear me sneaking for some reason. realized I was wearing metal shoes. Threw shoes into the ocean, looted the marauder’s shoes.)

Hid behind a statue and assassinated Heimskr. Was not caught. Looted the body when the heat died down. Now laughs when she sees a Talos Statue.

Became extremely offended by Mikael the Bard’s behavior. Performed at the Bannered Mare every night until he gave up competing. Smothered him in his sleep whispering ‘this is for Carlotta’. Bought the poor girl some drinks before she left Whiterun.

Teamed up with Jaree-Ra to share the loot of a purposely crashed ship.

After catching wind that something was amiss, she murdered Deeja. After reading the note from Jaree-Ra, she makes her way to Broken-Oar Grotto herself to slaughter the marauders and steal 100% of the loot back. Sucks to be the losing side, she thinks.

Slowly picked off the Blackblood Marauders one by one. Left a note to Jaree Ra while he slept: “You shouldn’t have crossed me.”. Spent another 3 days following him and leaving notes before putting an arrow through his eye. She made her point...but nobody is alive to tell the tale. Oops.

Left only one bandit alive at a held fort. Said bandit told stories of a murderous Khajiit. She killed him in Markarth in a rage that she had been mislabeled. She is not a Khajiit.

Investigated Wolfskull Cave. Stopped the summoning of Potema purely by accident. Played it off as ‘i meant to do that’ to get the reward. May have embellished a few details.

Sheogorath knows her by name (obv not cannon...makes me laugh anyway.)

While fighting in Pelagius’ mind, she desperately wanted to keep the Wabbajack. When instructed to keep it, she leapt onto the table with both feet and fired it at Sheogorath. He was amused.

Has played instruments in many inns for a free room, wearing face masks. Has passive-agressively played over the top of bards she dislikes.

Promised to put a warhorn at a Shrine of Talos for Elisif the Fair. Had a moment of clarity and honored the woman’s wishes.

While in this moment of clarity, she informed Angeline Morrard of her daughter’s death. Felt guilty enough to give the woman some gold toward burial.

[thegeminisage]

more zeldablogging! hello, future me, i hope you’re enjoying these

today: lake hyrule!

the tower is next to not-eldin bridge so maybe i should approach from there and not faron tower

but i can see farosh's bridge from here and it's juuust the right time

maybe i'll just got wait a few moments and see if he appears

AAAH THERE HE IS!!!!

and another scale :3

i wish i could get horn shards tho :/

lol i get super sad whenever i go back to the plateau even just to glide off the tower ): old man ))):

i used to think it was so tall! and now it looks so normal bc i've seen so much taller.

did NOT miss the rain while i was at death mountain

lol i can't believe these two puny lizalfos once prevented me from crossing this bridge bc it was too difficult of a fight

and FINALLY i'm across for real

and map obtained

i feel like lake hylia is about the same size here as in tp, but in tp it feels much bigger than it does here bc this world is already so huge and dwarfs even the massive divine beasts

god i can't BELIEVE i am always so low on arrows. frankly: an outrage

lol instead of going to the lake im getting the shrines i have seen from other provinces first

whoa these colums are cool

this zone is called faron woods? not even in faron province, hahaha

ooh there's a lady here talking about the horse revival fountain! i did see something about a lord horse lake or something on the map, so i guess that's it

ugh why is it ALWAYS raining

i'll admit i'm in the stage where like, i'm okay with not walking BY every tree, just maybe seeing them all, maybe even seeing them from a distant ledge or my glider

which isn't to say the world has lost its charm or im tired of exploring, exploring and crafting is basically all you do in skyrim and it pretty much never gets old, but i'm more anxious now to uncover the plot than i was before, which speaks to the game's storytelling skills, yet still feel the compulsive need to explore Everything before moving on lol

i don't typically do a lot of post-game play so i know after i kill the final boss that'll be that

ah here's the shrine maybe the rain will have stopped by the time i get out

NOOO a combat trial......!

but it says minor test of strength so that should be okay :|

ahaha got it in half a dozen hits

unfortunately i have so many great weapons i can't hold the ones i get from this thing or the one in the chest :| i need my shit to break!! i guess i need.....to fight more. ugrh.

god i have like 12 orbs now i should go trade them in lol

i keep forgetting!!

@self pls remember

jesus. it's still raining.

me: i need to fight more!

me: sees two lizalfos, groans

if i had arrows i would just take them out from afar

that's my instinct in skyrim, you know? i'm a sniper at heart, combat isn't my thing

but i have no arrows and too many weapons so i guess i gotta change it up

lol and learn to block my shields NEVER break bc i don't use them bc i don't really know how

that and i'm always fucking carrying two-handed weapons :| i want more one-handers

MAN i one-shotted both of them when it took three hits before with the same weapon...! this atk+ helmet does not fuck around im never taking it off again

the ruins in these woods are making me feel Some Kind Of Way

i hope the lost woods are in this game

i mean, they gotta be, if the master sword is sleeping somewhere in a forest

i hope it's cool when you get the sword. that's all i care about

i'm lying i hope ganon the man is in this game too but

im trying to keep my expectations reasonable

I HEAR KASS! where are you buddy i can't see you

ooh this shrine puzzle is about a forest dragon....FAROSH, MY BUDDY

lol yesterday my brother texted me like where the fuck are you getting all these hearty radishes? me: faron my dude

faron and apparently lake hylia too are absolutely thick with them

oh my god there's a lizalfos camp here and they saw me coming from MILES away how even

naturally they've ALL got shock arrows in this very marshy watery area

good thing i can one-shot them.

oooh there's a glowing goddess statue here

ah this is where i offer a farosh scale, like i offered one for naydra and need to offer one of dinaal

weeeeellll i do have 3-4 of them now so i guess so!

i'd hate to miss a shrine and have to come back

holy SHIT there's a thunderspear in here! fair trade my dude! glad i broke one of my swords at the lizalfos camp lol

ah and now this goddess statue will let me trade orbs!! YES

i got 1 heart and 2 things of stamina which means i have 2 full wheels. i can do ANYTHING

i just swam climbed ran and glided with the same burst without putting on special gear it was GREAT

YES i found the horse lake and there's a great fairy here!!!! fuck yeah!!!!!!!

HOLY FUCK THATS IS ONE CREEPY LOOKING FAIRY

awww it plays epona's song

ah and i found a stable nearby!! good

there's an obstacle course here that i can do w/ my horse for gear, which i Want, but i SUCK at it, so

omg i made friends with a dog ;w; it follows me around

i tried to feed it meat but no dice

the start screen said something cool about befriending them...i wish i remembered what exactly!

ooh there's a quest here to catch the Giant horse...im gonna try it

im riding jemma now as well :3 these places have easy access for horses and i'm not as compulsive in my investigation of Every Single Thing so thats nice

nooooo there's a lynel in the way ;_;

even IF i snuck past it to GET the horse to REGISTER it i never could

i have to fight it. i have no choice

gotta get jemma out of harm's way first

im so nervous )))):

but i put on my soldier's gear and atk helm and drank a defense elixir and gave myself extra hearts so!!!!! hopefully!!!! it'll be ok!!!!!!!

i did it!!! it actually wasn't even too bad with the elixir and the armor

this is gonna be a long boring walk...highkey tempted to go get jemma but im afraid she would get hurt. and like. i know, i can revive her. but god.

THERE IS

ANOTHER LYNEL LOL

JESUS CHRIST

god i bet this WHOLE LANE is full of them

good thing i didn't bring jemma

beat him!! Not Even That Bad

omg I FOUND THE GIANT HORSE

and it looks just like ganondorf's, which my brother spoiled for me hahaha

IM GONNA CATCH HIM

ohhh my god im so nervous. him Big

i know it takes at least two full wheels to soothe him, which i have, but i brought potions too, like i just happened to cook some up last time

GOD I DID IT but okay jfc this is only the beginning i still gotta get him aaaaall the way back to the stable ;_;

and you have to do it at the slowest speed or he'll buck you i think

oh my god oh my god

we did manage a light trot a few times but i don't wanan risk it too much

i soothe it every time it does what i ask haha and it's given me the hearts many times!! so that's a good sign

so far so good abt halfway there

OH MY GOD A FUCKING THUNDER KEESE KNOCKED ME OFF

and shocked him!! poor baby

fucking HELL he ran away

i caught up to him and thank god he let me get right back on

maybe i'll get off and feed him some apples tbh

thank god i cleared out so many of these enemies beforehand tbh

tho i noticed lol the coyotes ran away from it maybe more things do!!

oh my god so i’ve been seeing bigass skeletons on the ground but they don’t move and i thought it was decoration or w/e, rightbut i rode past one on the way to catch the horse, and rode past it AGAIN on the way back, and IT’S A FUCKING HINOX SKELETON UP WALKING AROUND fuck no i’m glad we’re up on a cluff and it can’t see useven the live ones just sleep all the time my dude what the fuck?

HAHAHA I MADE IT

we took the last third of the way at a light trot so we're making progress!

uh holy shit apparently im already at max bond?? god Damn

oooh my gosh what do i NAME him

ganondorf's horse doesn't have a canonical name...

king of something?? idk if i even have room

thief by itself seems a little underwhelming...

ooh maybe phantom? for phantom ganon

midnight is too common, something with flames or fire could be cool for the mane but

i think phantom is what we'll go with

oh my god i'm trying the obstacle course with phantom and i LOVE this horse he turns SO well

AND once he gets to top speed, which admittedly isn't fast, he can stay there forever bc unlimited stamina!!

i still can't do the obstacle course lol the horse just straight up goes around the things most of the time and i looked up like, tips online, and apparently it's really fucking buggy, so, no. i got better things to do

LMAO so im going up to lake hylia finally and i have already run over so many birds this guy can trample anything hes a Big strong Boy i love him

oh hey there's a zora out here at this island!

ohhhh my gosh dude farosh is here at the lake too !! man he is. so cool

he? she? i saw someone online refer to them as shes

theyre named after goddeses but dragons were always boys in this series

i like girls better tho so

she doesn't stay very long here

like, she leaves very quickly as opposed to down in faron where i've seen her circle many times

oh god im at the ruined village again where i saw my first blood moon... #cursed

at least it's daytime now

OMG A FIRE WIZZROBE IM GONNA GET ME A FIRE ROD YES

omg a super fire rod. a meteor rod. #nice

lol wizzrobes are easy to fight you just use the proper elemental arrow and don't let them see you. if they DO see you you die tho

now that im not pissing myself in sheer terror these ruins make me Sad jesus christ im so sad for all of hyrule

BRUH there's a stone talus here!!!!

ugh i wanted to mark the miniboss spot but im OUT OF STAMPS

guess i can't mark cooking pots after all but with the interactive map + my sheikah sensor if i ever TRULY need to find one that should be ok i guess :/

/unmarks them all, SADLY!

killed the talus without even using any special food, haha - don’t have to be afraid of them anymore! becoming less afraid of red lynels, can’t wait for the day when i’m not afraid of guardians

there's a korok seed puzzle here where you have to roll a boulder UP a hill are yu fucking kidding me

ooh maybe i could have used stasis from up there...lmao fuck

maybe i can use it from down here

i hate using stasis tho like it fucks up your weapons and i know i said i need to break some but that's just WASTEFUL

wow and it didn't do anything from down here anyway. ok i'll just come back to this :/

hey and that's all of lake hylia explored :')

tomorrow: gerudo desert!!!! me: HYPE!!!!!!!

well actually my brother's visiting so tomorrow: amiibo, but. yeah.

[nerotheprince]

Hey y'all! I wrote this short story for @coolpokemonideas from one of their prompts! Enjoy!

Sam stood outside of the Knolla regions’ Pokemon League, Stoutland, their partner stood next to them. The lights from the police vehicles shimmering along the crystal-like glass of the building, bathing the area in blue and red. The unassuming trainer stood off at the edge of a large crowd that had gathered to watch the long awaited capture of Christoff, the leader of Team Nyctia.

Nyctias’ pressence had plauged the Knolla region for three years, through bribery and violence they had worked their way up to the highest points in every training league available in the region. The doors of the League opened, people gasped and whispered while police led people in familiar black and purple uniforms through the entrance and into police vans.

A memory flashed through Sams’ head. A large explosion at the base of the Battle Tower in Volita city. One hungred and seventy-three confirmed deaths. The explosion had been caused by a large group of Electrode. It would later be discovered that the Pokemon had been left there by Nyctia grunt agents known as Legionnaires. Sams friend Katy had been inside. Sam was here to make sure not a single Nyctia agent escaped this time.

A rumble from inside the building brought Sam back to the present. The crowd grew quiet as the sound grew clearer. A deep roar of anger came from behind the walls of the building and a hulking figure began to appear behind the glass. All of a sudden the figure burst through the glass causing onlookers to scream and run for cover. An Aagron with none other than Christoff, self-proclaimed Emperor of the Knolla region, on his back emerged from the building. Behind him were his two henchman, Celena and Joseph, Praetors of Team Nyctia. Sam ignored them. Instead Sam prepared for battle.

“Stoutland, use Giga-Impact!” Sam shouted.

The Stoutland charged Aagron, using the extent of its power to attack its enemy. Stoutland slammed head first into the Pokemon, staggering it backwards. But the enemy Aagron seemed only slightly fazed by the attack. The Aagron swipped its large hand into Stoutland, sending it flying backward. The pokemon landed hard at Sams feet.

“Thats enough Stoutland.” Sam said through gritted teeth as he returned Stoutland to its pokeball. “Take a break, I’ll take care of this I promise. Go Tyrantrum!” Sam yelled, unable to control their anger any longer. “Tyrantrum use Dragon Claw!”

Tyrantrum rushed at the Aagron and slashed furiously at the enemy Pokemon. Sam noticed the Praetors in a heated battle with police, a battle they were losing quickly. Sam turned their attention back to the battle. The enemy Aagron had landed a few hits on Tyrantrum while Sam had been distracted. Tyrantrum seemed to be wearing down, Sam knew they had to end this quickly.

“Tyrantrum, use Head Smash! End this!” Sam ordered. Tyrantrum let out a deep roar as it rushed forward with all its might, smashing its hard skull into Aagrons chest. The impact sent the enemy Pokemon, Christoff included, back through the gaping hole in the building. Sam rushed in to find Christoff limpimg toward the stairs, trying to escape up into the building and buy time.

“Im not letting you get away this time Christoff!” Sam yelled, pulling a gun from their waistband. “Stop there or else!”

“Hah! Really kid? Is that thing even loaded?” Christoff laughed. “Face it, you’re a scared child. And that thing’s just gonna get you hurt, so put it down.”

Sam calmly aimed the gun, took a breath, and fired.

The scream cut through all of the outside noise. Blood poured from the wound in Christoffs leg as he fell to the floor, meagerly trying to pull himself uf the first stair of the building, but gave up when the pain grew to be too much. Police rushed in, surrounding the weak trainer. Sam looked back to see Celena and Joseph cuffed and being pushed into the back of a police van. They returned their attention back to Christoff, his leg was being bound and the police were putting him in cuffs. Sam retuned Tyrantrum to its pokeball and went outside to sit and rest. Moments later Christoff was being dragged through the gaping hole in the Pokemon League building. The leader of Nyctia struggled to face Sam.

“I- I’m gonna kill you one day kid.” Christoffs voice was commanding, even as he shook with pain. “If you think you’re safe, heh, you’re delusional. See you later chump.”

And with that Christoff was thrown in a police van and taken away.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

THREE MONTHS LATER

*A reporter speaks on the radio.* // An explosion today at Knolla Police Headquarters has resulted in the escape of criminal mastermind Cristoff, leader of Team Nyctia.//

Sam laid on their bed, realizing that maybe, Christoff had been telling the truth.

[authenticaussie]

Coffeshop au vs Fake marriage au vs Lady and Knight au vs Hogwarts au

aWWW man haha a big 4v4 going on,,,Damnnn. Okay okay so I love fake marriage aus man, just fake dating and anything is so good because of all of the pinning oh man it’s perfect. But then again!!! Anything that comes of a Lady & Knight au is just….perfect. All the time. Because you can have starts-off-as-betrayal-turns-into-utter-loyalty, or you can just have starts as loyalty and adventures and dragons and magic and!!! Oh boy just so cool so cool

Lady & Knight AU Headcanons:

For a betrayal au!!! Nam/Tash would be so good because you have royal lady Nami who’s adopted by Arlong and raised to be a selling point, basically, she always knew she was just going to get married off once she stopped being useful, so she decides to sell the whole kingdom out. 

Except when Arlong sends her capital she gets assigned this super-fucking-cute personal guard and she’s like shit I’m too gay for this. And Tashigi is at first a bit standoffish ‘cause she’s like that with everyone but just??? They end up being friends??? And Nami’s plan to betray the kingdom and go back to her rightful home starts falling to the wayside because she doesn’t want to betray Tashigi??

And Tashigi loves this place, loves the kingdom and capital and every person in it, and always helps out in town whenever Nami decides she wants to go out and just. 

God kill me okay I am 100% here for Nami seeing cruelty in everyone but Tashigi is just so-

Good. So heroic and kind and strong and Nami’s always been weak for loyalty ‘cause she’s never had it

Nami ends up confessing her plans to Tashigi but then saying she knew how to fix it and didn’t want to go through with it and Tashigi kiiiind of doesn’t believe her??? And she turns standoffish again and so cold, but she promises not to tell anyone, and Nami’s like fuck I gotta get her trust back i miss her so much—

And so Nami ends up twisting her plans and making it look like Arlong was blackmailing her and that it was his plans, ‘cause he wasn’t popular at court, and basically does this super clever coup and takes over his whole enterouge and deposing him as duke (or whatever tf he would be ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

And arlong finds out that she betrayed him and so sends people to kill her but then Tashigi busts in and totally does awesome sword fighting and saves her life and they talk it over and be honest and just. Happily ever after ;u; 

And for the loyal af I’m gonna do Robin and Koala ‘cause it’s just so flippin’ cute

There was a coup when Robin was younger and the whole royal family was murdered but lil!Koala helped her sneak away and worked in the kitchens and gave information to the rebels, and she was so young, but so strong, and helped the rebellion take back Robin’s kingdom, and so in return Robin asked her what she wanted and Koala said that all she wanted was to be able to protect Robin. (Cue flustered and barely hiding it Robin, and utterly oblivious young koala)

Robin as this elegant and poised and utterly (literally) magical lady and Koala’s been head over heels for her for the longest time, ever since she was a page and saw Robin (as a teen) with her head held high and her voice so calm and strong as she dismissed warriors to help fight bandits and take care of her kingdom.

Before Robin’s coronation she’s meant to visit every single village and know the people and work with her land so she can understand what they live like and go through but Koala’s super worried because even though Robin is a powerful witch there’s still ways to get her and begs to accompany her

And Robin acquiesces (and is actually secretly super happy that Koala still cares enough to want to protect her, because a lot of other people see her as scary and cold and strange and she doesn’t mind, but sometimes it gets lonely)

Koala totally braids Robin’s hair at one point!!!! Because it was getting in the way and Robin was getting annoyed!!! And then agrees to do it for the rest of the trip!!!! And she dies inside because Robin is so beautiful and she loves her so fucking much!!!!!!

God okay kill me

They end up camping together on the road and it’s basically just domesticity and protecting each other and taking care of each other and Robin confides softly some of her fears of being queen and koala almost half-confesses that she’s worried one day they’ll be things she can’t protect anyone from

Their first kiss is totally in a waterfall. 

I don’t know why that thought occured to me but now that it has I can’t let it go

They get attacked by bandits and Koala fights them all off but ends up getting injured. And so they camp by this waterfall that opens into this really lovely cave system that’s lit by shards of glowing blue and purple crystal that Robin found ‘cause it’d help her healing magic (which she isn’t suuuuuper good at, ‘cause healing magic is innate and Robin is more of a learned witch, and has heaps of memorised spells, but isn’t good at just shoving raw power at a thing).

And in the soft glow of these crystals and she’s patching up Koala’s side she just…..Ends up tugging Koala’s chin and pressing a kiss to her lips and Koala’s like lajkhdgj holy FUCK

And she tries to kiss back properly but then ends up wincing and going all ow ow ow fuck that hurt

And Robin laughs and Koala’s like aw come on that’s not my fault. And basically ends up saying something about how she’s wanted to do that for ages is it her fault that she wants more than just one kiss???

And Robin’s like woah. excuse me, wait, what.

And Koala starts blushing furiously and gets super flustered and is spluttering and trying to explain and Robin just thinks it over while she’s spluttering and is like “So you…have loved me? For a long time?”

And Koala just ends up nodding kind of guilty but then Robin smiles at her and Koala’s fucking wrecked and Robin just says “Good,” and kisses her again!!!

And no misunderstandings occur and they keep travelling around just this time with  kisses and more affection and Koala not feeling careful around what she’s allowed to do, ‘cause before she didn’t feel like she could / should touch Robin and now finds out Robin fucking loves all the attention Koala gives her 

GOD IT’S SO CUTE!!!!

And when they get back and Robin is crowned it’s basically a fact that Koala is the kingdom’s other queen and when people on Robin’s council complain and says she needs to get married ‘cause she shouldn’t be queen without a king she just laughs in their face. 

She’s not 100% comfortable with being a mom, because she doesn’t remember much about her mom, ‘cause she died when Robin was so young and she was always so busy with being Queen, but Koala would love a kid, and she needs an heir….

(Little does she know that she’s already accidentally adopted all of the orphaned children in the castle, who she visits regularly and tells wonderful stories about the adventures she and Koala had and supports and helps with jobs and teaching and she gives them books and like okay these like 10 kids all see her and Koala as their moms)

But she needs a biological kid apparently (she’s contemplated firing this council, they’re fucking dumbasses) so she makes a kid and the kid has magic and there’s dorky magical shenanigans as she tries to get used to the fact that someone calls her mother and means it and Koala’s like Robin, pls, you’ve been looking after the castle kids for years why is this weird???

But it’s mine, Robin goes, frazzled, and Koala laughs quietly and soothes her with kisses and they raise this kickass kid and she and Koala live happily ever after. The end!!!!!

Fake Marriage AU Headcanons:

Uhh man tbqh I love fake dating more than I like fake marriages???? Idk why but it proooobably has something to do with my dislike of marriage and the fact that people use it like it’s an end-all-be-all and a solution to every problem imeanwhat???im not cynical

anyway!! I’m a drip for zolu and I haven’t written it for ages, so; 

Zoro runs this lowkey but really strong dojo along with his sister Kuina and they compete a lot in fights, but are confined to the stupid gender bullshit ‘cause Kuina’s dad won’t let her fight any guys. Kuina’s already the strongest female swordsman in the world, and demands that Zoro become the strongest man so they can have a fight and so who’s actually better, and who’s the strongest full stop.

But Zoro can’t beat mihawk. It’s annoying as fuck for him, especially when Mihawk constantly keeps asking when Zoro will find something stronger than his ambitions, when he’ll find something worth fighting for.

One day he finally snaps and points at Luffy, who’s the brother of a friend of a student that attends Kuina’s self defence class and goes, 

“I’M FIGHTING FOR MY FIANCE YOU ASSHOLE”

Luffy’s like wtf. Mihawk’s like ah. Well then. i shall leave you to spend time with your fiance, ‘cause you obviously don’t know well enough what i mean. 

luffy’s still like what the fuck. Mihawk leaves while Zoro’s yelling at him, and then he whirls on Luffy and Luffy’s like akjhjdg dude why are you glaring at me  

Then Kuina busts in and is like YOU HAVE A FIANCE?????

And Koala and Sabo are on her heels and Sabo’s like luffy how the hell did you keep this a secret!!! You’re a shit liar!!!

I- Wha- huh????? goes luffy, and Zoro’s like yep. He is. Fucking shit liar. It was meant to be a surprise but i got so angry at mihawk

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU demands sabo

my. fiance?????? luffy goes’cause he’s confused as all hells, bUT SABO THINKS HE’S CONFUSED AT SABO FOR NOT REALISING IT

There’s a lot of yelling. So much yelling. Luffy has no idea what’s going on. Zoro ends up dragging him away before they leave and kind of explains what’s going on - his rival says he needed something worth fighting for, and movies always say love makes you stronger (”only the cheesy ones,” luffy mumbles, but shuts up when Zoro glares at him, daring him to make another comment)

Luffy doesnt end up agreeing persay, but he doesnt say no either, and so they have to handle the inquisition in the form of friends and family and then find out a lot of the people they know know each other??? and it’s only weird luck they haven’t met before then??? So they just claim that they had met before then, and it’s ridiculous and dorky and they have to answer plans about marriage and where their rings are, and zoro says he didn’t want luffy to loose his and that he was always working and fighting and so they’d agreed not to get rings and

GOD GUYS IT’S A GOOD OL’ CLUSTERFUCK

They end up going on dates where they try and get everything sorted and what they know about each other and luffy keeps making zoro laugh (which is annoying, fucking hell luffy, you’re a dumbass, zoro thinks with a roll of his eyes, but can’t deny that…weirdly enough luffy makes him really happy)

and once their friends know they’re getting married, they get shoved together a lot too, and so they go from not knowing each other very well to just learning so much about each other’s likes and dislikes and they get along really well????? like wtf it’s so weird????/ they just fit. Once Zoro stop acting so put-upon ofc tho (luffy yells at him, and tells him that it was zoro’s fault in the first place that they were stuck in this mess, so how could he get off on being so high and mighty all the time??? and zoro stops acting like a dick)

And their friends are just like oooohhh yeah i can see why you want to marry him now and zoro’s like laskhdgf fucking hell you guys you’re so thick, god i cant believe this is working he thinks as he texts back like 30 seconds after luffy replies, and smiles fondly at all the spelling mistakes and emojis he recieves in return

Finds out that Sabo gives Koala a lift to her self-defence classes and sometimes joins in as a demonstrator for them to practice on and Luffy doesn’t have anyone at home and he gets bored and lonely by himself so he comes along but is banned from the classroom and so Zoro starts teaching luffy how to fight and finds out that Luffy’s actually a good fighter but his basics are off

You know that trope where the characters stand super close to correct each other’s techniques???

Yep. 

yep. 

Zoro you loser. 

And Zoro finds that his fighting has improved as well, ‘cause Luffy’s so wild and unpredictable and he needed a refresher on the basics too.

And one time when they’re sparing Luffy manages to pin him and crows in delight and victory and is sweaty and grins down at him and Zoro’s like

Oh shit.

Oh sweet fucking shit.

SHIT

Welcome to Feelings Town tm, population: one utterly in love Roronoa Zoro who didn’t realise until it was TO FUCKING LATE

the “wedding” date they’d organised dawns nearer (Zoro tried to keep it as small and cheap as possible, ‘cause they’d planned for luffy to leave him at the altar (no way was zoro doing the leaving, everyone would kill him. Luffy is everyone’s sunshine) but luffy has so many fucking friends) and Mihawk agrees to fight zoro before they go on their “honeymoon” and there’s a bunch of people there cheering zoro on and it’s all these friends that he’s made/grown closer  to thanks to Luffy and then just about when he thinks he’s gonna loose there’s luffy, fists clenched, fire alight in his eyes, urging him on, and Zoro’s like fuck

fuck I want to make him proud. i don’t want to see him disappointed. I want to best mihawk and go get fucking married and go on our stupid honeymoon and be

happy

because that’s how he’s felt. He’s felt happy with Luffy. He’s felt so happy with Luffy. 

Kicks mihawk’s ass and drops his sword into Kuina’s hands and bypasses everyone else to wear Luffy is standing and grinning and there’s stars in his eyes and Zoro basically just picks him up and like they’re reading each other’s minds Luffy just leans in and kisses him

It’s fucking perfect.

Zoro’s sweaty and hot and his blood still sings from the fight and it’s rushing in his ears but all he can feel and hear and see is Luffy 

And it’s perfect.

From behind him, Mihawk mumbles, “So you’ve finally found something stronger than ambition.”

Zoro pulls away and leans his forehead against luffy’s and replies, “Don’t go all cheesy family movie on me now, Mihawk.” 

and Luffy laughs and they kiss again and its!!!! so cheesy!!! so cute!!! so good!!!

And they end up putting the marriage off for a bit and dating for a few years but everyone still calls them fiances / the old married couple and one day when they’re sprawled on the couch Zoro just turns to luffy and goes, 

“Hey, do you want to finally actually get married?”

And luffy grins and zoro rolls his eyes and he’s like “yes i get that we practically already are, but I-”

“want to buy you a ring. And that stupid stuff. Alright?”

“Alright,” Luffy goes, still grinning super super wide, “but you might wanna put it on a necklace or smth ‘cause you know im gonna lose it.”

Zoro groans and is like dont i know it. half of our yearly pay’s gonna go to replace ur wedding ring. 

and just!!! laughter and happiness and happily ever after. The end!!!!