#im in sorrows

[the-mercy-workers]

"They weren't created for this"

These words echo through my mind every time I read a story about someone doing something bad, and isn't it so sad?

A thief wasn't created to steal

A liar wasn't created to be dishonest

A murderer wasn't created to kill

They were created by God, our loving Father, to do His will. To love and be loved. To make friends and lead them towards eternity, back to the Father who created us

But they've been led astray. They were manipulated by the one who hates our Father, who wants to see us fail Him. And little by little, they walked away from the Lord, from the path they were created for

Knowing that makes it hard to be angry at them. Hard to hate them. They weren't created for this

[inkskinned]

it is the first snow today. i think we should all have off work, even though it didn't stick. i think there should be 4 national holidays, one for each season. happy first snow, go home and make cookies. for spring it can be the first crocus. for summer the first lightning bug. for autumn, the first golden leaf. go home, kiss your dog, feed your cat (who is absolutely already-fed but somehow still starving.)

i think we should all take more showers together, but i mean that in the soft way. i mean it like taking a nap. two years ago i had 5 adult friends in my queen bed, all of us laying across each other, head over belly over thigh over hand. any time one of us would giggle, it would ripple over each of us, like pulling on a spiderweb. kim actually needed to nap and didn't get to sleep and i am still sorry for it even though this is one of my most precious memories.

i think we should all wash each other's hair, i mean. i walk my dog and i watch someone put up twinkle lights around their front porch. alex and i just moved, and i love the neighborhood. already so many of our new neighbors have stopped by to say hello. the nice lady downstairs also collects plants, like me. she gave us her number on a pink post-it note. i am trying to decide whether to make her cookies or brownies.

i am going through a very hard time. something bad happened this weekend that i do not wish to discuss. it is hanging over me. i think of the green ribbon, and the woman who had her throat cut. it feels like that sometimes, inside of my body. like i am walking and talking despite being half-corpsed. like i am hanging on by a ribbon, standing on some kind of cusp. i keep saying - at least it wasn't worse. we are so lucky it wasn't worse. the idea is river-rock smooth now, all the edges worried off.

in this very dark night - the sun sets by 3 now - people don't need to, but they try anyway. they paint the missing light into things. i have an embarrassing number of missed calls and texts, but i feel the love from them nevertheless - hey. if you need something, i'm here. i will bring you food/puzzles/anything. i got you.

i think we should all have a big group chat where we do errands with strangers. this week i got lost in a home depot, which is wild because i'm a lesbian and we are actually hatched in a lowe's lumber section. there were two other women in the whole store. we ended up shopping together, at first by accident (we all needed things in the same aisle), and then because, well, why not. one of the ladies was taller than me, so she pulled down the screws i needed. i am agile and have the personality of a raccoon, so they sent me after anything below 3 feet. we talked about holiday plans and never learned each other's names, but did learn all the drama about each other's families.

i am making you cupcakes, because i have so much affection i want to pour it into batter. you ask me if i am eating enough per meal. i wrap your gift twice, trying to do it prettily. i get excited to give it to you, just because i hope you'll be excited too.

my parents drive an hour just to see the new apartment and to do the parent thing; standing in the kitchen saying things like "oh you'll get so much use from this dishwasher" and "well, you could paint that" and "when your mother and i moved it was uphill both ways and in a snowstorm and of course your brother was an infant." my mother brought me a plant for housewarming. i always say i love you before she leaves.

i play dnd on tuesdays still, after all these years. we all keep that night free. at one point, between grad school and marriage and all of it, we had to have a serious discussion about how to keep it running. we will keep going, we decided eventually. just to see each other, even if we don't play - you are all important to me. sebastian is not prone to affection but last night he stole my usual sign off - i love you all, be good, he said. he was laughing.

i don't love the winter, actually. i like snow in theory, but i grew up in the north, and am too-familiar with the season of "mud and sludge". i don't like being cold. but i do love something kind of soft and rare: every year around this time, people remember oh yes. you and i are human together. and i have love to spare.

it is the first snow, and something in my heart is finally warm again. i have spent what felt like the last 18 months just going-through-the-motions. it has felt blank and immediate, like i would never actually feel again. that sounds extremely trite and stupid - but that is the boring and familiar experience of depression. life just washes up against your windows, and you watch it happening. you see things that should be lovely and affecting, and it just whispers too-thin. i was desperately uncreative. uninterested in my hobbies. unimpressed by my writing. i told my therapist, often, i don't know how to find hope again.

almost sheepishly, something strange and lovely is burning in my chest. i keep not-looking at it, worried it will scamper back into the shadows again. it is skittish and wild, but it is so warm i want to sink my hands into its fur and feel it breathing. i love-hate it: if it's real, it can hurt me when it leaves again. but i am icarus-born, sun-lover and poet: i can't help myself. despite my best intentions, i am falling in love with life again.

i am planning to make cookies for my friends. alex and i are going to go christmas tree shopping. we picked out matching dish towels last night, and they have little mushrooms on them.

i love you. it does come back. yes, even after a long time. even for you. i promise. keep trying. you will wake up and it will be a day you can smile about.

write me when you get there. we will take the day off of work, and i will wash your hair, and we will both be laughing.

[onlymywishfulthinking]

"I wanted to forget him, and yet it seemed I thought of him always." Anne Rice's Interview with the Vampire s2 - May 12th on AMC/AMC+

[hollytree33]

JUDGEMENT

Finally, her fourth and final card for Trespasser!!

1. The Hanged Man

2. The Chariot

3. The High Priestess

[iridescentdescendant]

joan of arc // gerard way // our lady of sorrows

[spookyquotes]

hey yall i am . Coping

[jacenotjason]

oh my god

[halogalopaghost]

Some fanart of your tmnt 2003 fic 'Not Alone'. Words are not my strong point, so hopefully fanart is cool! I'm a huge fan of your writing; the tone, feeling, and characterizations have inspired me to create many times. So thanks, and Happy Birthday!

(I wasn't sure which blog to send it to or if I got the day right, either way, I hope you have a good one!)

Oh I am HOLLERIN AND STOMPING MY LITTLE FEET OMG!!!!! They're so precious!! Thank you SO much, I love your art and your comics so much, this is so special and it's 100% going into the digital photo frame rotation!!! 😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[ultraviolencesaints]

[rifleman787742]

my friend has a furry mgs au and i like to draw it and give my unsolicited input about it... snake, zero and sokolov are his designs and so is the gecko fear

[nyxofdemons]

unable to get behind the idea that fizz "forgave blitz too quickly" or that it was a writing flaw how easily he accepted blitz's version of the story or whatever like. no!!! it makes sense!!!

blitz was his best friend!! of COURSE he wouldn't want to believe that blitz tried to hurt him so badly!! blitz tells him what happened and fizz IMMEDIATELY softens in the way he's looking at him. he doesn't even look mad or like he thinks he's being lied to, like -

LOOK AT HIS FACE HE WANTED TO FORGIVE BLITZ SO BADLY. HE NEVER WANTED TO BELIEVE THAT BLITZ DID THIS TO HIM ON PURPOSE.

even all his little microexpressions in this one scene say SO MUCH

fizz probably spent SO LONG trying to rationalize or explain what happened to him, he probably spent AGES hoping so badly that there was an explanation that DIDN'T involve his best friend hating him so much he tried to kill him as painfully as possible

and to say it feels contrived; i just. fizz CARES!! the same way blitz has always CARED!! they never wanted to stop being in each other's lives - they both suffered a major trauma and were made to believe that the other one hated them, but they were BEST friends and always had been. how could either of them ever not jump at the chance that it was a mistake? how could fizz not cling to the possibility that his best friend might be able to still be his best friend?

[angelinthesnow666]

[sunflowersorrows]

I hate my stupid ugly wife

[beforeyougo-turnthebiglightoff]

hello how have i never seen this before i need to bite him

[harbingersecho]

Before the End

a redraw of this scene bc it wouldn’t leave me alone

[siromany]

Soma at the start of Dawn of Sorrow