#im insane for every single one of these little bastards

[somespicyshrimp]

[art credit: goncharov/katya by @popsicle-stick​ / goncharov/andrey by @filibusterfrog / katya/sofia by @ blueskittlesart]

[enderwoah]

jimmy solidarity is so intrinsically mind-meltingly confusing i love him dearly and i want to squish him with a passion and i want him to win (or lose) the next life series installment and here is why

(this is a very long insanity fuelled rant sorry but if you too are obsessed with jimmy solidarity and the concept of him actually not being pathetic and possibly winning heres the post for you)

jimmy solidarity is the kind of guy that literally has one gimmick and its being the most pathetic person on every server he has the pleasure of being on. he is the wet cat of a man that gets bullied and taken advantage of and nobody listens to him when he complains or objects to anything and yet not once has he truly gotten angry about it because hes just that nice of a guy. sort of.

cause i dont know about yall, but jimmy solidarity is kind of a bastard to me?? i will never forget him swindling joey out of 50% of his gunpowder profits (u think that wasnt swindling?? consider the following: he was earning NOTHING before joey started doing gunpowder on his own. NOTHING. and yet all he had to do was go over and put on his little sad pitiful pathetic song and dance and beg for a cut of joey's profits and suddenly: whats that? a net profit?) i will never forget the sheer amount of times this guy has had to hold himself back from straight up killing or aattacking someone; not because of morals or kindness or goodwill, but out of spite. but out of "i need to be better than this person it hurts them more if i dont kill them in cold blood (in my head)." i will never forget the amount of times he has just straight up punched someone in the nose (/rp) because they were being mildly annoying in the middle of a conversation.

im not saying hes a mastermind thats manipulating everyone by acting lame but also just a little bit?? minus the manipulation part?? hes proven on multiple occassions that he isnt like stupid idiot baby man. like yeah he can be a little incompetent sometimes but so can scar and by now we have ALL recognised that scar is terrifying and could raze the server by himself if he so pleased. i think if jimmy solidarity's main bit wasnt 'its funny when my friends bully me' he could genuinely cause some serious damage. i think the one time hes like ever made a trap on his own in the life series (the one in his doorway in last life) it worked flawlessly which. like. a trap. in the life series. working flawlessly. hello. sure it was basic but the fact that it worked without a hitch should alone be a testament to his ability

and if thats too obscure for u i mean we can step out of the life series for a little bit and just direct you to the fact that he isnt bad at minecraft like at all?? if u havent had the pleasure of watching his dodgebolt 1v3 i really reccomend it because youd THINK that someone bad at minecraft would be trembling in his boots and being in a total panic in that situation. hell even someone AMAZING at minecraft in that position (grian) literally sounded on the verge of throwing up for his entire time and thats FAIR. thats NORMAL.

all i am saying is that jimmy solidarity rolled up to this 1v3, said 'ive got this,' and took out two people in literally a second and a half. and then just chill-ly said 'ive got this' again. the only time he sounded mildly panicked was when tommy was making him dodge for a ridiculously long amount of time. as soon as tommy missed twice- or, rather, as soon as he dodged tommy's bolts twice, mine brother in craft took one shot after like five seconds and it was over. every SINGLE time i decide to watch a jimmy mcc pov im sitting there like. 'damn. DAMN?? JIMMY SOLIDARITY???? POPPING OFF???????" at like more than one point every single time. there are so many other places that hes demonstrated that he isnt bad at minecraft but its late/early and my memory doesnt work like it used to

which brings me back to the life series. since we all know that his 'being bullied hahaheeheehoohoo' bit is a bit (and hey. its a good bit. im not saying its a bad bit. i think its funny and i think it gets even funnier when jim starts fighting back. if youre gonna have a long-lasting gimmick thats a good one and jimmy does a swell job at making it entertaining and also making it clear that it isnt serious) this means that he can un-bit it for a bit. or at least peel away the bit a little.

im just saying jimmy solidarity has huge bastard energy and hes allowed to let it free in the life series!! he will burn things down he will cheer at traps he will fight for his friends he wil fight tooth and nail and claw for his life (he started last life with two lives. he never got any more. he only died due to a trap and due to murder like COME ON). if he wanted to burn down a base he could if he wanted to set up a huge trap PERSONALLY i think he could hell i think if he went up to someone in 1v1 combat he would at least have a chance (depending on the person of course). i mean look at his dodgebolt performance all the man needs is a bow and some distance and hes APPARENTLY set for life!!

ill say it

if jimmy solidarity played it smart, he could win the life series. easily.

jimmy is good at making alliances with people (coughs and kicks the southlands betrayal underneath the rug Ignore That One he was Desperate he started off with two lives remember honestly it was a justified move) hes a litlte bit silly stupid and oft acts impulsively but he can direct that impulsivity against one person and for another. if he got himself in a squad like he did in 3rd and last life and stopped playing up the pathetic bit and set a trap for once in his life (/endeared) he could actually get himself some kills. some Real kills, not accidentally blowing up ren and skizz with tnt.

i dont even care how he does it. i just want him to win. and if he doesnt win, i want him to come top five at LEAST before getting horrifically stabbed in the back by someone he had been running with for the whole series that is the ONLY loss i will accept and still be happy about. the man deserves a girlboss moment please we're approaching two years let the man LIVE

[plantboiart]

Hello. List of what animals I believe each just roll with it pc I know would be. I am objectively correct but if you disagree please tell me anyways I crave other people’s opinions to steal.

Riptide

Jay: a bird, obviously. Saying she’s a jaybird is easy and low hanging fruit and extremely valid. Personally I think she’s maybe a corvid since very smart but also absolute fucking menace. Honestly? Could be a seagull. Loud and lives near water and also smart but also? Absolutely insane. Yeah sure I could say she’s something cool like an eagle or whatever but I think in our hearts we all know she’s a seagull.

Gillion: of course he is a sea creature! But what kind? Fish. More specifically? Swordfish. Of course. What else could he be (he could be a shark but shhhh im saving that one for later)

Chip: the bastard man himself! Which animals are the biggest bastards? Raccoons. Yes I am basic. He’s either a raccoon or a little dog. I am specifically thinking my mom’s 11 year old small dog who yells at men and tries to pick a fight with every single dog that is larger than her. That’s some Chip energy right there.

Goobleck: bro who knows like what the hell is that thing i do not. Hes whatever he ate most recently. Bros fursona is just straight up slime. He is an enigma.

Prime defenders (+Ashe I don’t care that technically he was just a guest he deserves to be here)

William: ravens, black cats, bats, butterflies, snakes, crows. All associated with death which makes sense for our little ghost guy! But of course we can’t forget wolves! He has two wolves inside of him after all. But also? He is not cool enough to be a wolf. That man is a black cat with a dream and sharp sharp claws.

Vyncent: I think it would be funny to call him a rat. Since he eats them. And also he just kinda is a rat. But no, I believe he is a deer. Don’t really know why, just….. vibes.

Dakota: my beloved son. He’s a yappy little dog. Bouncing all over the place and screaming at evil-doers. I believe in him.

Ashe: strong cat energy. Is william already a cat? Yes. But so is ashe. He’s like a fully gray cat with short hair :)

Apotheosis

Rumi/Elena: fox! Because Sunny :) also because I can’t really think of an animal that would be a good representation for an identity crisis

Peter: “lizard” no. Peter Sqloint is a mouse. Just a lil guy. I’m right fuck you he. Is. A. Mouse.

Thanatos: spider! Kinda scary and lots of people dont like but in reality just an awesome dude. Shoutout to my friend’s pet spider Mörkö I love them

Blood in the bayou

Rolan: shark!!!! Im right and i need to say it. That man is a fucking shark. I love sharks. Sharks are generally misunderstood as violent and evil but they are just lil guys. Fits Rolan being an evil alien monster but just also a lawyer. (Also i just really like sharks)

Rand: y’all ever cry about pigeons? How we domesticated them and then abandoned them when we didnt need them anymore? How they dont even know how to make proper nests because they didnt need to for so long? Yeah. Im normal about this campaign.

Kian: he’s so hard to figure out because like…….. honestly? In canon? Weve got no fucking clue what his personality is actually like. We dont get a single moment with all the masks off and just the person underneath. The closest we get is him admitting that hes not really a rockstar and even that is so short and just. Auehgeh. This is why im obsessed with him btw i love a mystery i know will never be solved. Also so much room for headcanons. Is he a cat? A butterfly? A dog? A snake? A songbird? A dove? Something else? I dont know!! Lets go with a moth

The suckening

They are all cats. I mean c’mon. Emizel is a feral street cat that hisses at everyone who gets too close. Shilo is an indoor cat with an anxiety disorder. Arthur is their mother. Im correct.

[wildernezz]

dead poets society scene that cannot be slept on any longer (im just rambling and analyzing the sillies and pretending to be smart. also spoilers loll)

I GET THAT THE DEAD POETS SOCIETY BARELY HAS A FANDOM BUT WHY DOES EVERYONE SLEEP ON THE PUNCH SCENE WITH CHARLIE AND CAMERON?? IT'S GENUINELY SO WELL WRITTEN AND PROBABLY ONE OF THE BEST DIALOGUE SCENES I'VE SEEN IN FILM??? HELLO?????

every single actor in this scene does such an amazing job. they genuinely all feel like such real and complex characters it's insane.

i don't care if you hate cameron's character but you cannot deny that his scene was amazingly pathetic. his actor did such a perfect job at portraying him almost like a rat backed into a corner. he's doing everything he can to save himself, telling himself he's the one in the right, the one with common sense, when he knows he's faking it. all his dominance is such a pathetic lie and it's genuinely impressive to watch it be portrayed so accurately. it is exactly what it's like to watch someone desperately claw for an ounce of respect. cameron was always a desperate character, and the moment he got the chance to drop his friends and come out "higher" than them, it just made him even sadder to watch.

and meanwhile charlie's the perfect example of failed justice and passion being outpoured all at once. he has so much determination and desire to stand up for what he believes, but it's all pouring out at once. he doesn't know how to handle all of it. he knows he's done for but he can't give up for the life of him, and it all comes out in a solid swing to cameron's face. that single punch probably sums up everything about charlie, and honestly everything i love about him as a character. he seems like a menace-y little bastard, but at the end of the day he just genuinely wants to do what he thinks is right. he's fiercely protective of the people he looks up to but he'll never admit it. that little shit has ZERO clue how to handle his emotions rationally and it's honestly respectable. he doesn't know exactly who he is, but his values are so strong that he's unknowingly guided by them. basically he's just a silly little guy and i hope he punches people more often :3

AND TODD THE BELOVED <33 he is so underrated in this scene it's insane. every word feels like it's falling out of him. he's lost his best friend and he's lost all control over himself. it's powerful seeing such quiet and reserved character unwillingly transform into everything they've been trying to keep down. i will forever be in love with how his character completely breaks down after neil's death. this is kinda just me projecting but he fr feels like a representation of all of my own thoughts when breaking down, except he's actually voicing them. todd supremacy for-fucking-ever.

THE OTHERS ARE ALSO SPECIAL TOO BUT THEY DONT GET A LOTTA LINES FOR ME TO ESPECIALLY ANALYZE SO IM JUST GONNA ADD RANDOM TIDBITS OF THE OTHERS HERE.

i absolutely adore how knox acts in this scene. especially his lines of "don't touch him charlie, you do and you're out," and then for that to be followed by "you don't know that" after charlie's little "i'm out anyway"?????? knox's entire personality in this movie might be about trying to rizz up girls (and it's a little concerning now but it was a different time guys please he's silly guys i swear), but he's honestly SOO sweet when he's not focused on that. he's just as protective of his friends and it's so nice seeing him be the voice of reason. like did u guys not see how quickly he reached for charlie when he was about to kick cameron's ass????? he genuinely wants the best for his friends and he knows them well enough to try and stop them from doing any irrational shit (even tho it failed later but shshsh). love knox for that.

meeks and pitts don't say anything in this scene, but their looks alone give off so much. you can just SEE how much meeks feels betrayed by cameron, and then pitts looks like he's still trying to process the fact that cameron would even do something like that. it's honestly so sad but god it's so amazing to watch.

anyways thank u for coming to my ted talk plspls ask me about films or drop ur random analyzations to me im so desperate to analyze my favorite little guys :33

[erporo]

SO. (some of) ARAN HCS

ive been cooking these up since FOREVER AND IVE ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE ORIGINAL ASK BCS IM DUMBBB I'M SORRY @fan-mans

onto the hcs tho.. i haven't got much & new stuff so ur in luck:

so ik that one's pretty much canon? but. dude may seem insane on the ring but. you'd actually be surprised how mellow & chill he is outside of the ring

like in fact, in certain scenarioz? dude may be just as mellow as glass mfing joe

despite being a huge bastard, dude always knew how being lucky feels like. he doesn't know entirely why but he's proud of that & wears it like a cloak & will def shove that fact into ur face constantly

dude's got a ma and a sis. but he's pretty much never seen his father... prob because they're divorced or smth

dude's also a very very homey person 2 me. like he misses Dublin, his ma (he's a huge mama's boy yesss) there more than he cares to admit not only to others but also to himself.

he and his sis r also. v silly with each other. they def fight each other over things not worth fighting over on a daily basis

aran is a huge dog person:

there was this hc of him having an Irish Wolfhound? i think? from a while back. and like that changed my brain chemistry 4ever- these puppers are HUUGE YK

but I also adore the idea of him having a little pet rat, that only the closest of people and relatives know about :33

dude LOVES to draw- he doesn't give a crap about learning how to draw or developing his own style- hes in it purely for the enjoyment

he's also a huge motorcycle nerd methinks

dropkick murphys's one of his absolute favorite bands <3 i also imagine dude loves bands like pantera, black sabbath, slayer tho

arn's also. gay: demiromantic bisexual

dude's also rly into leather. in every sense :)

narcis's his pookie bear <3 4ever & ever

& soda is his only friendo among all his colleagues. they're great drinking buddies- they just love to get absolutely wasted on fridays or something (w/ narcis too, also chiming in from time to time). id imagine it's one of the only reasons why arn looks forward to the end of every single week too

but their friendship goes beyond just being drinking buds- like soda understands like. 0.1% of english <- that's me being generous. & arn doesn't understand a lick of russian. yet they perfectly understand each other

[binch-i-might-be]

and screaming crying throwing up at jack's reaction

hes so fucking sweet about it. he just accepts it. makes me sob every single fucking time. like. yeah maybe he doesn't understand it completely but he loves alex!

and then the question about the swimming hole, thats just such a fucking sibling thing to do. hysterical. so glad to know that siblings will always be little shits to each other, as seen AGAIN when jsck refuses to be out written by alex when he's working.

AND THEN THEY DRINK TO ALEX AND JOHNS UNION. THAT KILLS ME EVERY SINGLE FUCKIGN TIME LIKE. YEAH. JACK IS ACCEPTING AND CELEBRATING AND HES ONE OF LIKE THE 5 PEOPLE WHO EVEN KNOWS THEYRE IN A RELATIONSHP LET ALONE MARRIED AND ITS THE FIRST TIME ITS BEEN CELEBRATED. god i need a minite im going to sob

and then jack watches them kiss and its just people showing affection and he didnt knoe ehat he expected but its just Normal. and ughfhfhfhdhdjejd.

and then the heart breaking ness of the oh "youve told him all he needs to know" "most of it" "most of it" like kill me. i just cant. then john and alex, theyre all cuddly and cute and jack is hit with how theyre so familair and how theyve done it so much before and just gujfhfdjsjjdjsks

this series genuinely makes me ILL its so djfjdjwjdjjfjw. i cant wait to read the latest extra you published – i havent had time to get around to it yet but gjfjdjsj i have no doubt its going ti be amazing and so good i need to take breaks from reading it bc otherwise im just going to keel over because of how good the writing is.

anyway. thats my little thin ice rant for the day. your writing makes me batshit insane <3 - 🐥

YEAH. YEAH

I just. wanted someone to be nice to the boys. I like to think of Jack as an overall pretty chill guy so that reaction just kinda made sense to me (also he really can't afford to alienate the one (1) sibling he has left oop)

THANK you I was so fucking proud of that snippet lmao. older brothers will be bastards in every era <3

they do!!!!! they deserve it :(( no one has ever celebrated with them. someone just needs to be happy for these boys. please my crops are dying

that whole chapter is honestly one of my favourite things I've written for the series. showing the boys' relationship from an outsider's perspective was SO fun. Jack being so new to this but so supportive. trying to make his little brother feel at ease despite not fully understanding his relationship. the little pinch of angst because I can never let these boys rest. also. drunk Alex my sweet sweet baby boy <3333

well the latest addition is just porn so! thank you tho 🥺🥺 I love your thin ice rants <33

[venusandsaturnsrings]

don't mind me ill just,,,,, //private bookmarks ur fic//

and yes im all for more incel childe that disgusting bastard <3

if this is the rich ass au he can just hire nannies to look after the kiddo so he can continue breeding u tbh,,, money makes the world go round after all and i can see that bastard throwing it around if he needs to just to continue his nasty breeding spree

ehehe everytime someone bookmarks, likes, comments, or expands on anything i write it makes my heart swell and pussy wet u have no idea…

PLEASE ALL OF THIS IS FEEDING ME FOR YEARS TO COME HOLY FUCK

you successfully solved my entire dilemma, congrats!!!!!! drafting a notes app timeline for this nasty boy he doesn’t deserve this much time poured into his gross habits but i wont him so bad it’s insane…… nnnngghhhhh gross childe blowing cash AND loads just to fulfill his need to breed his sweet darling every single day…

ok small drabble btc

it had been a matter of months since you dropped out and moved in with childe. give or take eight, you think? regardless, you were happier than you’d ever been before! sure, your skull was emptied and refilled with nothing but thoughts of ajaxs delicious seed and cock, how to clean, how to cook, and how to be the perfect wife (all thanks to his extensive ‘training’) but you were so so very happy! how could you not be? the sex was beyond good, he spoiled you to bits, and you’d never have to worry about anything too hard or difficult (such as math, money, or other people) ever again! it was perfect.

during these months you were taught how to perfectly deepthroat him without issue, use all your proper manners, take load after load of him without issue and more! he was a very giving husband and owner. that said, there was one small thing gnawing away at your silly little skull…

“‘jax?” you called out, voice meek, in the direction of his office. a soft hum came in response. “i know your not good with sharing,” you fiddled with the ruffly skirt he had set out for you to wear that day, “what’re we gonna do when the baby comes?” he always thought the head tilt that came with your questions was cute. spinning around in his chair he put one leg over the other.

“you’re worried about that?” his chuckle was light and his eyes soft. “sweetness, i could dump thousands into nannies and other workers to care for it. we only need each other,” he rose up to his full height to approach you, “don’t worry your pretty little head, m’kay? i’ll have it taken care of. you only need to worry about gettin’ knocked full of the next one.” if you were slightly less enamoured, you’d have noticed how he only ever referred to the baby as ‘that’ or ‘it’ but you couldn’t be bothered. nothing else mattered but ajax.

[tickly-trashcan]

Julian is all cocky and smug until he gets a little squeeze and crumbles (am I waiting for the daily logins and saving money for the “pat him down” part at the prologue? Nooooo-) 

I’m sorry but that little shit deserves to get got everyday, he knows it, and he loves it 

Cocky bastard 

LITTERALY so frigging ticklish you can’t convince me every single spot on his body is ticklish 

But then it would be funny if he had like, one super obvious spot that wasn’t ticklish at all *wheezes*

Don’t try to chase him down. Seriously don’t. You won’t even get to start, he’s too giggly to even try , he can’t run when he’s like that 😭

I mean he might get 3-4 steps but-

The only time he could be ler is when you’re feeling down and he’d gently nuzzle your neck from behind and hug you with little squeezes here and there to keep you giggling while asking what’s wrong 

Oh btw he used to and still get’s destroyed by Portia (you know who she is to him right?)

Asra my boy who totally isn’t getting autocorrected to asparagus or ASSR or Audra every single second.

Will squeal and plead at cold fingers thank you for coming to my Ted talk 

HE CAN BE A DEADLY LER

HE HAS MAGIC AND HE WILL USE IT DON’T TRY HIM 

Actually do try him because he’d be an amazing ler I just know it 

He’d be very gentle, yet that would make him even more unbearable and flustering 

Neck nuzzles and nibbles all the way 

“So ticklish, so good for me, sure you can handle a bit more~? I’d like to listen to your laughter some more”

But. If YOU’RE the one starting it, HE’S the one flustered and all lee in your arms 

Genuinely can’t handle teases. If you do that while tickling him he’ll actually start getting a bit whiny and might try to hide his face because this is so unusual for him 😭❤️

Listen, if you gently drill your thumb unrelentingly into his lower  ribs while the rest of your fingers curl in the back of his ribs, he’s going to be squirming left and right but that would just accentuate the ticklish feelings and he’d be belly-laughing  nonstop, like every single sound of laughter would be elicited from him before he finally becomes too overwhelmed with feelings to properly function and would just throw his head back and take it 

okay my brain vomiting is done i may have more and better but it’s 4 am AKDMSKDMDS

RIV I SWEAR TO GOD YOU MADE ME OFFICIALLY INSANE

THE PAT DOWN OPTION WAS THE FIRST ONE I PAID FOR AND IT WAS THE BEST THING IVE EVER GOTTEN BC LIKE,, JULIAN IS CANONICALLY TICKLISH AND IT MAKES ME LIKE ASCEND TO THE SKIES WHENEVER IM PLAYING THROUGH AND HE GETS FLUSTERED I FJKDSFJDSKFSN

Ohmygod Asra i've never been as big of an Asra simp compared to Julian but WOWIE i am just imagining like all the possibilities now and I'm sobbing real tears I LOVE HIMMMMMM we need to get him right now

THANK YOU FOR THE BRAINROT ILY AND I MIGHT END UP WRITING A FIC NOW LMFAO

[reaperkiller]

🌹🍂🌾🌠 for jason & marcus!

OUGRGhrgrh you know exactly how to make my brain go into overdrive

SORRY THIS GOT VERY LONG

🌹 Where in the world does your OC feel most at home? Is there any reason why? If it’s not the place they were born, where were they born? Is there a certain somebody that makes them feel at home where ever they may be? What does home mean to them?

for marcus. it's pretty much wherever his friends and family are. a familiar face always makes him feel Safe. he was born in california so thats Also home to him. but sometimes he wants to be as far away from there as possible. like i said before home is Warmth and Safety thats what it is to him.

same for jason, but he has never really felt like that. not for a very long time anyway <3 home??? he doesnt feel like he has one. he doesnt feel like he really Belongs anywhere + he doesnt want to admit it but marcus is the closest thing he has to home and thats Very gay of him i think

🍂 Does your OC enjoy hugs? What do they do as a show of affection for: their friends, their family, their significant other(s) or for strangers? Over all what are they like with recieving affection from others?

THEY ARE BOTH BIG HUGGERS but again bc of jason being Like That he has to act like he hates hugs. any sort of affection from anyone and he's like. I Have To Go Home Right Now Immediately. so he can cry bc of how starved he is of love and touch and. aorusrkghsfghkl

marcus hugs lou and morgan all the time. they are Very Close. he loves hugs. he loves the warmth + comfort and safety that comes from it. again. he is like a little cat in a patch of sunlight. he loves affection his brain always goes !!!!!!!! when anyone is nice to him and compliments him. biggest cheesiest grin you have ever seen Every Time.

🌾 Describe your OC through the eyes of someone absolutely head-over-heels in love with them

oh this one is going to Kill Me ok. OK

to jason, marcus is the single most delightful person he has ever met in his life. a ray of sunshine. he would collect every single star in the universe for the guy if it meant he'd be happy. the goofy smile makes him Very Weak at the knees every time he sees it. and marcus smiles So often. he's in hell. this little man made him realise that he's allowed to love and Be loved and that not everyone has an ulterior motive. the world isnt out to get him. he loves Everything about marcus he cant deal with it bc he's 'too cute' or whatever. again very gay of him. also he loves how short marcus is compared to him bc of how Easy he is to pick up. A+ boyfriend material he couldnt have asked for better

AND to marcus?? jason is very much still big and scary and intimidating, but he finds that very. endearing in a weird way. bc he Knows most of how jason looks/acts is just a front he's putting on. marcus has a think for broody men ok. anyway. he's seen the man smile a few times and he went Insane. internally. every single time. a small genuine smile that makes Him weak at the knees. they cant smile at each other or they will both collapse. he looks at jason and he's like thats MY big huge handsome man that will carry me when i am a little bit tired. my absolute bastard man. my man will kick your man's ass in a fight he's so good at it. and he's pretty (: he is the prettyest man i have ever seen in my ENTIRE life. there is no one prettier. have you seen his eyes?? have you seen how Tall he is?? he's so tall. im in love with him your honour.

basically. they cant shut up about each other. and the other's mere existence makes them insane. but in like. a good way. theyre so painfully in love with each other i need to lie down

🌠 On a scale of 1 - 10 how Baby is your OC? BONUS when asking this question rate the OC yourself as see if the reply matches up!!

the exact opposite of what you would expect bc marcus is like a 5? 6? on baby scale bc he can handle himself faily well but also he's small and cute and i would hold him oh so gently in my hands.

jason is like. 11. because he's got so many issues and problems and he needs to lie down. he needs 5000 warm blankets i NEED to cradle him in my arms like a newborn baby. my god

[tinkywinkyschauffeur2]

chart i made bc ahahahahahaha this has been floating in my head for ages

he's pretty easy to write bc he's the voice of the third person limited. So even if he's not expressing himself real well and he's biting people and shit, I can still kind of articulate his frustration bc the writing is taking place semi inside his head. he's also fairly easy to draw but sometimes my brain just dies and decides to not be able to for some reason

slightly harder to write bc i havent actually written her in the main canon yet but she's super fun and easy to write in all my AUs. fine to draw except for her hair. Pulled back/slicked back hair without a fringe is one of my least favourite styles to draw.

I'm still learning how to draw his new design and I can't do it without reference. Again I haven't written him in canon and he's a little tricky bc of the fact that objectively he's lowkey a prick but bc the writing is mostly ever in cardinal's pov, the edge is taken off a little but the fact he's a git still needs to communicate

she's got two different faces that interchange in my head, kind of morphing into one another and i cannot pin them down. She simultaneously has a round face and a square face and it drives me INSANE. as for writing she's difficult because she interacts quite personally with every single character so she has a lot of interactions and relationships to construct and consider and she's in a grey area for majority of them.

she's easier to write bc she's so chill and direct with her communication. She says what she means like 90% of the time. Drawing is a little difficult just bc i did one drawing of her that was perfect and have been unable to replicate it since

to write him i just let oscar wilde's soul inhabit my body and to draw him i get distracted on pinterest and then simply not draw him.

cannot draw him. has zero personality so I cannot write him. I don't like him.

easy to draw bc im practised bc i LOVEEEEE HERRRR AHHHHH but she's hard to write because she has so many damn abstract thoughts that I cannot communicate with the mere words of the mortal plane

okay look at him you could draw him with ur eyes closed BUT he's so so so fucking hard to write bc 1) the third person limited perspective is never in his view so you don't see the mental gymnastics he does so it just feels like he does shit at random and 2) the bastard tries to gaslight me into thinking the shit im writing about him didn't happen

[stuffmyfriendssay]

whumptober no. 29, aka 'dead since the beginning' chapter 4

the last chapter of my first fic. I'm so proud of what I've done for whumptober. for sure this isn't my best fill (sleep deprivation, "better me than you") but im proud its out on time and I'm proud of myself for actually putting stuff out for other people to see.

I really hope you like it

Chapter summary:

It was good that that civilised veneer was gone now, that this instinctual thing she had become was all that remained, because this thing would have no qualms about tearing every single one of those slimy bastard motherfuckers to tiny little pieces.

Slowly, the grin crept back onto Eris’ face, colder and sharper this time. She wasn’t only going to rescue this kid, and then James. No, she was going to burn this place to the ground. And she was going to laugh over the ashes.

The bell rang.

Janus glanced across at Selene. She had told him not to leave her behind, so she at least thought she was okay enough to mount a rescue mission. But perception can’t always be trusted, especially self-perception. Especially when the life of your best friend is on the line.

That lingered in his mind–they might not be okay. Any time he went near the thought something twisted in his gut, pulling his face out of its carefully neutral-bordering-on-positive expression into something his sister would probably call a grimace. 

Example A: the face she was making right now. Selene had said they were only an hour or so away, but no distance had ever felt further. He knew it was irrational, there was no point worrying about things you have no immediate influence over, but… this was Eris. This was James.

At least Eris was a known quantity; she had been in situations like this before and she would be in them again and she hated them but she was always scarily good at them. Not that ‘being kidnapped and tortured’ is a thing you can be good at. But the one thing they ever fought about anymore was her stupid self-sacrificing behaviour. If either of them was hurt, it was Eris.

Now, James, on the other hand. He had none of the experience, none of the training, none of the pain tolerance that Eris did. He wasn’t used to things like this. Janus had no way of knowing if he would crack under the pressure, or if he already had.

Janus hated not knowing. Almost as much as he hated worrying. 

Off to his right, Selene stumbled. He silently offered her a hand, focussing on keeping his face looking as non-judgemental as possible. Smiling tiredly at him, she took it, leaning on him.

And on they walked.

“” “” “” “” “” “”

What, to James, feels like so long later that the inevitable heat-death of the universe must already have come and gone…

He wanted a bath.

Was that a strange thing to want? People liked baths, right? Did he like baths? He must do. He wouldn’t be wishing for one if he didn’t like them. But, man, could he really go in for a long, hot, soapy bath right now, filled with epsom salts and him and nothing else.

You know what, no, what he really wanted was to have a nap in a bath. Or in a bed. On a sofa? Fuck, he would take the floor right now. 

Was it even possible to be this tired? 

And how long did it take for a human to start going actually insane from sleep deprivation? Because he was pretty sure that staying awake for thousands of years (it can’t have been only a day or two, surely) qualifies as ‘too long without sleep’. Would his mum let him lie in tomorrow?

Wait, his mum? He didn’t live with his mum anymore. He lived with… fuck. He didn’t know. Definitely with a bath, though. He definitely had a bath in his house.

But wait (again, ha), if he was going insane… Was liking baths not normal? Maybe it wasn’t, maybe people didn’t like baths. 

Maybe this fixation on baths was a little extreme.

But, like, what else was there to fixate on. The fact that his friends hadn’t rescued him? Because at this point, the only reason they would have left him is because either A) they were all too injured to come pick him up, B) they were all too dead to come pick him up, or C) they secretly hated him and always had and always will and had just abandoned him here. He hoped not. To any of those options. He needed to come up with an option D... D for… delayed? Maybe?

Because he was only thinking of things like… like… well, like option C, because he was going delusional. Right? His friends did not hate him. They were his friends. People aren’t friends if they hate each other. Friends basically means ‘list of people you like who like you back’.

And friends like these ones don’t just abandon other friends. Not in places like this. 

Right?

Eris would never leave him behind.

Eris would never leave him behind.

Eris would never leave him behind.

Eris would never…

“” “” “” “” “” “”

They wanted her to fight a kid. To murder a kid. A kid.

How was she supposed to… And letting the kid kill her wasn’t exactly an option either. She couldn’t do that to James, couldn’t do it to her best friends. But most importantly, she couldn’t do it to the kid.

That kind of senseless slaughter… no matter how well you carry it at first, it gets to you. Eventually, it gets to you. And that kid deserved a long life, plenty of time for an act like that to ruin. 

So everyone had to live. Eris laughed. At least, everyone in this cage had to live.

It was good that that civilised veneer was gone now, that this instinctual thing she had become was all that remained, because this thing would have no qualms about tearing every single one of those slimy bastard motherfuckers to tiny little pieces.

Slowly, the grin crept back onto Eris’ face, colder and sharper this time. She wasn’t only going to rescue this kid, and then James. No, she was going to burn this place to the ground. And she was going to laugh over the ashes.

The bell rang.

She launched herself straight at the chain walls. They came apart under her fingers like rotted wood, and she was on the crowd in seconds. Efficiently, brutally, she worked her way through them, bouncing from body to body as they each slowly fell. 

Her bare feet sucked against the floor by the time she was done, concrete painted almost black with blood. The child still hadn’t moved an inch. She picked her way over the fallen mass of the crowd and back out onto the sand.

“Please don’t kill me,” the child whispered. Their eyes were wide with fear, but they didn’t shake. Didn’t flinch back from Eris when she reached out and pulled them up into her arms. She didn’t trust her voice enough to reply. 

With the child balanced under her arm on one hip, the other hand filled by a knife taken off of one of the corpses, Eris took off into the bowels of the building, retracing her steps until she came to that corridor by the exit.

The child had buried their head into her chest at some point along the way. She looked between the exit and the way she had seen James taken before. They hadn’t come across any guards so far, but they would. They would. And she couldn’t subject the kid to that much violence, not again, but…

When she tried to pull them away from her side to put them on the ladder, they gripped her sweat- and blood-soaked shirt in both of their tiny fists, and made a high whining sound in the back of their throat. 

She couldn’t… she couldn’t… She curled her other arm, the one holding the knife, around the child’s shoulders and squeezed them for a moment, imparting what little comfort she could, before turning away from the exit.

Guess they were all leaving together then.

It didn’t take long to find James down the mess of corridors. They ran into a few guards along the way, but they swiftly suffered the same fate as the crowd from around the arena. She felt no remorse for their deaths, only that the child was a witness. And perhaps that she did not have enough time; they deserved far worse than she could inflict in passing.

James sagged, half-supported by a rope machine he was working, when she kicked open the door. Her knife slipped between the ribs of one guard from behind, the air leaving him in one gust. He was dead before he hit the ground.

Eris had the other pinned to the floor, her knife hovering above his carotid, about to finish him off too, before she saw the look in James’ eye. Enraptured, he stared at the machine that–by the look of his near-skinless hands and the bags underneath his eyes–he hadn’t been away from since they were first separated.

She grunted at him, still not wanting to speak, but he didn’t respond. He just moved his eyes slowly over to where she crouched on the floor, begging her silently.

“What does it do.” It was more of a growl than actual speech, but it seemed to get the point across. The guard squirmed underneath her, and she drove her fist hard into his kidney.

“What. Does. It. Do.” 

“” “” “” “” “” “”

The guard writhed again, but stilled at her glare. Glancing back and forth between James and Eris and the child standing in the doorway and the machine, he seemed to decide quickly that not answering her question was the worst of his worries. Smart man.

“Nothing,” he said, “It does nothing.”

James’ eyes narrowed. He tried to convey some tired feeling of both hatred and confirmed expectation. And a little desire for revenge. Eris seemed to get the message. Her knife punched through the guard’s throat. 

They both watched him froth and moan until he fell still. Offering her hand, Eris pulled James to his feet, but moved away quickly. There was a glimmer of something decidedly not human in her eyes, but he didn’t say anything, didn’t want to question. She picked up the child and was gone.

Back down the corridors they went, back to that hatch that James had glimpsed freedom from all that time before. He tried asking Eris how long it had been, but she didn’t answer. He didn’t bother asking about the bodies littering their path. A distant glaze was covering her eyes and she clutched the child on her hip tightly, protectively, like an animal guarding its young.

Still not entirely human looking, she got them back to that hatch.

As they stood together in that early morning light, breathing in the freshest air James had ever tasted, he looked down at himself, across at his friend.

He was ragged, clothes torn, limbs heavy. He’d had to be helped up the ladder to the exit. She made him go first again, but there were no guards running to stop them this time. Eris had seen to that. And, not that he could see them, but he was certain there were bags under his eyes the size of a small country.

Eris still had that feral tinge to her gaze, still that desperate clutch on the child, but there was something softer, fiercer, in her eyes too. Something that said “better me than you”. Her hands were dripping blood. Not just her hands, really, she was drenched, knuckles split open, face bruised and swelling. He didn’t ask. She probably didn’t care about what she had done.

And looking at the child in her arms? He didn’t either.

Drinking in that rising sun, the last thing he saw before crumpling to the ground was Janus coming out of the treeline, Selene just behind him, pointing towards the hatch. 

“” “” “” “” “” “”

He came to on the sofa in his friends’ living room. They acknowledged his waking but left him to gather himself together in his own time. Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, slowly stretching and sitting up, he took in that achingly familiar room, and those achingly familiar people.

Selene and Janus were near him, sat on the other sofas, and he could hear Eris humming to herself as she cooked. The others didn’t seem to be there, but he found himself feeling glad about that. It was just the people who were there, and the boy who–he realised, blush blooming across his cheeks–had carried him home.

It wasn’t strange any more, to think of this place as home, to think of these people as family. They simply were. It felt… nice.

The three of them stood up and moved slowly together into the kitchen. Selene’s bruises were fading now, cuts knitting themselves back together. He must have slept for a while.

Something about Eris still looked a bit wrong, but as he walked into her view, she paused, and smiled, gently. She wasn’t okay, none of them were, but she would be. He would make sure of it.

She looked like she wanted to say something, but still couldn’t find any words. Selene broke in for her, “The kid is staying with a local family who has experience with trauma in children. That place,” she shivered with disgust, “is gone now.”

The look in Eris’ eyes did all the elaborating on that that he could ever want. He decided, like he had at the facility, that he didn’t really care. Something smelled good though, and he definitely did want breakfast.

He wasn’t sure Eris should really be upright, let alone cooking, with all of her injuries, but he would let it slide, just this once, if it meant he got one of those blueberry pancakes.

[enderwoah]

does the jimmy solidarity side of trafficblr understand how desperately jimmy either needs to win OR come ridiculously close to winning for me (me specifically) to be happy

like if he wins. which he could. that would be amazing. winning after dying first every single series would be incredible and i think i would go absolutely insane. he deserves it and he definitely could if he decided to stop playing up the pathetic wet cat/'bully me itll be funny' bit. which i feel as if i always have to clarify IT'S NOT A BAD BIT!! ITS FUNNY im just saying if he Did. he could do some serious damage to the server. like if jimmy solidarity decided that he was tired of being nice and literally nerfing himself and just sort of went off with a group in the next life series i personally think he could go crazy go stupid

but here's the thing. i will be happy with him winning. but i will be equally as happy (and i'd be a dirty liar if i didn't say possibly even more happy) if he got to like. third place. hell, even fifth place. and then someone stabbed him in the back at the last second. like, someone he had been running with for the entire series just. to win. stabs him in the back.

i feel as if. and correct me if im wrong. jimmy solidarity has never been straight up betrayed before, i dont think. he even did the betraying himself in last life, but i dont think someone has ever actively turned their back on him or stabbed him in the back out of wanting to win before. hes never been seen as enough of a threat to backstab. hes one of those players that gets a group or a partner and sticks with them for the entire series. he had scott in 3rd life, the southlands in last life, and tango in double life, and i fully believe that he only doesnt betray them because he doesnt want to.

imagine it in your head. jimmy solidarity is running with someone and decides that he needs to kill them. its not that weird of a thought. jimmy, in my opinion, has enough bastard energy where you CANT say that it would be out of character for him to betray someone. he could. he just doesnt. like, dude, if you want proof he literally DID betray his group in last life. no regret, broke one of the most sacred southlands rituals and tried to run away with a life. he has enough desperate bastard energy to do it if he really wanted to. he just doesnt enjoy doing it.

so imagine the absolute shock and horror that jimmy would experience when someone does directly betray him. he picks his group, or even his partner for the next life series and that person stabs him in the back suddenly? he would be flabbergasted. jimmy has little to no self-control, but jimmy i dont think would have the gall to betray one single person. he just. i dont think he'd get it. it would be horrible. and deliciously dramatic.

imagine the animatics out of that. jimmy solidarity girlbosses his way through the entire next life series. someone dies first before him, and you see how morbid it is for him to be excited, overjoyed at someone else's death. his circumstances have made it so he is happy when another person dies. he burns things down, forms strong enough alliances that he basically is untouchable, sets traps, embraces his innate bastard energy, and when he can finally see the light of a win, when he can finally see the possibility of him actually coming first...he is ripped away from that high by a sword in the back or a trapped base.

like jesus christ that would be horrible. and amazing. i would eat it up. im a jimmy solidarity enjoyer through and through, and of COURSE i want him to win, but im not gonna lie to myself and say that him getting close and then getting it torn away from him by a friend (and lets not make that sound less than it is; jimmy's enitre life basically circles around other people. getting betrayed by a friend would be horrible for him and him specifically) wouldnt be...wonderful. surely the jimmy solidairty side of trafficblr can agree im not crazy right. right.

[theramseyloft]

7/30/21

Waiting for the call from UGA to get Khou.

Doing the most urgent loft work in the meantime.

Just finished mucking nest boxes.

The time has come to employ the loft's little tower fan.

As well insulated as it is, it's still a metal building and the AC unit just cannot complete.

Blowing at full strength, you can't feel it more than 6 in from the vent.

Good gawd, I started at 7:30am, and it is SO humid that in an hour of work, I'm dripping, and have developed the tell-tale muscle aches, nausea, and lip-tingling of heat exhaustion.  Came in to cool back down after setting up the tower fan.

Patron: "A fan in the window would help"

"The easiest way to keep a space as cool as possible is to create a path of airflow"

Thank you

Ok!

Breakfast eaten, water get, time to resume!

I laid this fucking brick out to hose down yesterday...

The Fire Nation used it as scaffolding to build a nursery and fill it with larva that quickly.

This is why I have to be so aggressive about treating them, and why my loft help just turning the bricks and weight stones shit side down is so dangerous.

Patron: "Holy shit! Fire ants are insane."

Patron: "They are an aggressive species from the Amazon, of course they're aggressive and quick lol"

Patron: "Oh! They are not native to the US? I never knew that! I just remember learning very quickly when we moved to the south from Canada that they are mean little bastards"

They are not!  

They are adapted to the river banks and survive the frequent flooding by clinging together in living rafts.  

An individual can hold her breath up to 14 days, allowing the rafts to survive until they make landfall again.  

They really love the American south because the high humidity keeps soil moist enough to build mounds in very quickly without the disruption of floods to cause breaks in reproduction.

Patron: "That explains so much"

They are able to remain in constant larva factory mode, and with all US populations only coming from a few accidentally imported queens, they are closely enough related not to see any other US fire ant colony as a rival.

So the entire US population of fire ants is a single massive supercolony with neither predators nor competition.

Patron: "That is super disturbing"

"But also very informative."

Yeah, they are monsters here that absolutely will hunt and eat you if they get the opportunity.

My husband and I used to have our bed against the wall.

The little bitches swarmed in by hundreds through a hole in the insulation one night in the second year we were married, infested the blankets, and woke us up by stinging us en mass.

Patron: "i cant imagine how fucking horrifying that was to wake up to"

I still have nightmares.  

I can't fall asleep by laying there with my eyes closed.  

You know how there are always after images when you close your eyes? Usually just meaningless, wandering patches of light and dark?  

That's what the swarm on my skin looked like in the dark, and instead of just being patches of light and dark, my asshole brain highlights their segments, legs, and animates their attack behavior of clamp on with jaws, sting until prey stops moving, or ant is crushed or otherwise pried off.  

I get the most ungody adrenaline spike if I'm not too physically exhausted to notice the visual.

It makes trying to fall asleep a real bitch for me.

Got an update call about Khou.

They don't have a specific time for him to get his CT scan done, beyond that it will happen today.

If it happens late enough in the day that he won't be fully recovered from sedation by the time they close, we'll have to wait until tomorrow to come get him.

Patron: "How far is it to Athens from where you are? You said you took him to UGA right?"

Two hour drive.

Patron: "Hang in there. Fingers crossed they can do it early today"

Thank you.

Neither I, nor my husband are really ok with out him.

The house feels wrong...

Had to come back in for the permethrine.

The fire nation is trying a different foraging approach into the loft and fuck no.

Threshold treated.

Komodore asked Patch to smooch-feed her

Farthing tread Luxie.

Then he crouched to be tread and she, then Alex, tread him.

I think I was wrong about Mote.

Wukong looks lighter than he is because of his chest fluff.

Close inspection of their wings shows Mote to have the same pattern as Wukong, obscured by the deeper Dirty pigmentation of babies under 4 months.

Arco has been doing the best job helping Passenger set her Fegg.

Leela is quite insistently crouching for Nobu, but her foob kinda over balances her when he's on top, causing her to stumble into a tilted run under him to keep from faceplanting.

He hangs on with the brazen tenacity of a bull rider, and has managed to finish three times today.

It is exactly as hilarious as it sounds, and I'll try to catch it on video, if I can.

Look at Arco on his practice egg <3

Patron: "a grown boy!"

Just got an update from UGA.

khou just finished his CT, but they close at 5pm, and he's unlikely to have recovered enough to be discharged in two hours, even if I left right now.

The projected discharge is between 9 and 10am.

His little heart stopped.

(Pretty much every Patron sent their condolences)

Cousins: "We're on the way, Dani, I'm sorry!  30-40 minutes i think ..."

Can't wait.

We can go say goodbye, if we leave now and fold space.

Husband: "The vets are trying one more time to get his heart to start back up.  We are on the road now."

We got to UGA.  

No word on if the last effort succeeded.

Waiting for his Dr to come see us.

Husband: "He didn't make it."

Husband: "He had lesions in his lungs.  The sedation was too much for his damaged lungs to handle."

Patron: "im so sorry. is there any idea what the lesions are from?"

Husband: "Not yet.  They have not gotten all the results back from his tests yet."

"The vet took a clay imprint of his feet with his name on it."

Patron: "sending all the love to both of you"

Husband: "Thank you.  We both are recovering."

Thank you so much to all of my patrons for the outpouring of loving condolences.

[jackiearbs]

things that rwrb characters have said that i will never forget, a thread:

alex claremont-diaz, giving off dumbass™ energy (he has the most on this thread, for obvious reasons) 

- "put them in my room, put them in my room, put them in my room-" 

-  “Jesus Christ, it’s like they can see into your soul. cornbread knows my sins, Henry. cornbread knows what I have done, and he is here to make me atone.”   

- "do it for the 'gram"

- "leading member of korean pop band bts kim nam-june" 

- "whatever, fine. henry is annoyingly attractive. that’s always been a thing, objectively. it’s fine.”

- "see attached bibliography"

- "i said, you look great, baby!”

- "yo there’s a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe"

- "awesome, fuckin' love doing things out of spite.”

-”Huge Raging Headache Prince Henry of Who Cares”

-”it is amazing you can sit down to write emails with that gigantic royal stick up your ass.” 

- “who names a dog David? He sounds like a tax attorney.”

-” “Do I go on your side of the cubicle and turn off your Dropkick Murphys Spotify station, no matter how much I want to?” Alex demands. “No, Hunter, I don’t.”

- “for fuck's sake, man, you just had my dick in your mouth, you can kiss me good-night.”

- “Bake Off makes Chopped look like the fucking Manson tapes.”

- “THEY KNOW. THEY KNOW I HAVE ROBBED THEM OF FIVE-STAR ACCOMMODATIONS TO SIT IN A CAGE IN MY ROOM, AND THE MINUTE I TURN MY BACK THEY ARE GOING TO FEAST ON MY FLESH.”

- “You’re from Boston, Hunter. You really want to talk about all the places bigotry comes from?” (he really hates hunter goddamn) 

-”so, what? you want me to quit politics and go become a princess? that’s not very feminist of you.” 

hrh prince dickhead😎  - "the moment you first called me a prick, my fate was sealed. O, fathers of my bloodline! O, ye kings of olde! Take this crown from me, bury me in my ancestral soil. If only you had known the mighty work of thine loins would be undone by a gay heir who likes it when American boys with chin dimples are mean to him.”

-"“I’ve been gay as a maypole since the day I came out of Mum, Philip.”

-”i will turn this car around.”

- “yes, the cocaine, alex.” 

-”i am a delight!”

-”have i mentioned lately that you’re a demon?” 

- “are you psychoanalyzing me? i don't think royal guests are allowed to do that.”

- "i can't believe even mortal peril will not prevent you from being the way you are.”

-“the phrase ‘see attached bibliography’ is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me.”

-"i just mean to say, you know, Philip is the heir and I'm the spare, and if that nervy bastard has a heart attack at thirty five and I've got malaria, whither the spare?”

- “they wanted something less fruity than the truth, but truly, what is gayer than a woman who languishes away in a crumbling mansion wearing her wedding gown every day of her life, for the drama?”

- “You are a delinquent and a plague. Please come?”

- “fat and sexually conquered, snuffed out in the spring of my youth. Here lies Prince Henry of Wales. He died as he lived: avoiding plans and sucking cock.”

june:  “- that is a clear quartz crystal for good vibes do not @ me.” 

- “He’s just so frail, it’d only take one good push-”

- “ugh! men! no emotional vocabulary. i can’t believe our ancestors survived centuries of wars and plagues and genocide just to wind up with your sorry ass.” 

nora: 

-”sorry, are we not? did i skip ahead again? my bad. hello, would you like to come out to me? im listening. hi.” 

“prince henry is a biscuit. let him sop you up.”  

- “you’ve been, like, Draco Malfoy–level obsessed with Henry for years.”

- “i don’t know, man. I was in my junior year of high school, and I touched a boob. It wasn’t very profound. Nobody’s gonna write an Off-Broadway play about it.”

dahra: 

- “You need to get back to fucking England now, and if anyone sees you leave, I will personally end you. Ask me if I’m afraid of the crown.”

- “both sides need to come out of this looking like your little slap-fight at the wedding was some homoerotic frat bro mishap, okay? So, you can hate the heir to the throne all you want, write mean poems about him in your diary, but the minute you see a camera, you act like the sun shines out of his dick, and you make it convincing.”

-”come on, you backyard-shooting-range motherfuckers,”

ellen (should i say PRESIDENT claremont) 

- “Diaz, you insane, hopeless romantic little shit"

-  “I had Planned Parenthood send over all these pamphlets, take one! They sent a bike messenger and everything!”

- ”where? Are you hiding a turkey habitat up your ass, son? Where, in our historically protected house, am I going to put a couple of turkeys until I pardon them tomorrow?”

-“As your mother, I can appreciate that maybe this isn’t your fault, but as the president, all I want is to have the CIA fake your death and ride the dead-kid sympathy into a second term.”

PEZ !!!

- “frolic naked in the hills, frighten the sheep, return to the house for the usual: tea, biscuits, casting ourselves onto the Thighmaster of love to moan about the Claremont-Diaz siblings, which has become tragically one-sided since Henry took it up with you. It used to be all bottles of cognac and shared malaise and ‘When will they notice us’-” 

-”-and now i just ask henry, ‘what is your secret?’ and he says, ‘i insult alex all the time, and that seems to work.’” 

**extra: nicer quotes from alex and henry 

alex heartthrob diaz  - "never tell me the odds"

-"we were not afforded that liberty."

-“I hate this so much. I know. But we’re gonna do it together. And we’re gonna make it work. You and me and history, remember? We’re just gonna fucking fight. Because you’re it, okay? I’m never gonna love anybody in the world like I love you. So, I promise you, one day we’ll be able to just be, and fuck everyone else.”

- “On purpose. I love him on purpose.”

- “history, huh? Bet we could make some.”

- “But the truth is, also, simply this: love is indomitable.”

-“Take anything you want and know you deserve to have it.”

- “Someone else’s choice doesn’t change who you are.”

- “I am the First Son of the United States, and I'm bisexual. History will remember us.”

- “America: He is my choice.”

- “Give yourself away sometimes, sweetheart, There's so much of you.”

- the entire list of the things he loves about henry. i would die 

henry: 

-”i’ll be damned but i miss you.” 

- “when you rang me at truly shocking hours of the night, I loved you. When you kissed me in disgusting public toilets and pouted in hotel bars and made me happy in ways in which it had never even occurred to me that a mangled-up, locked-up person like me could be happy, I loved you. and then, inexplicably, you had the absolute audacity to love me back. Can you believe it?”

- “it sounds like you did your best.”

- “I’ve bloody well had it. I’ve sat about long enough letting you and Gran and the weight of the damned world keep me pinned, and I’m finished. I don’t care. You can take your legacy and your decorum and you can shove it up your fucking arse, Philip. I’m done.”

- “Should I tell you that when we’re apart, your body comes back to me in dreams? That when I sleep, I see you, the dip of your waist, the freckle above your hip, and when I wake up in the morning, it feels like I’ve just been with you, the phantom touch of your hand on the back of my neck fresh and not imagined? That I can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache? That, for a few moments, I can hold my breath and be back there with you, in a dream, in a thousand rooms, nowhere at all?”

[gh0stiegirlie]

synopsis: all it took was one glance at the hotheaded boy at the U.A. exam, and you were smitten. for deku, it was a single act of kindness that instigated his immediate attraction to uraraka. several months into school, best friends Skylar and deku are left heartbroken when. uraraka and bakugou start a relationship. when you and deku find yourselves confiding in each other, a question arises; is this love, or loneliness? are you two better just as friends?

a/n: lmao hey im not dead whats gud

word count: 2.8k

<- pt. 2                                                          pt.4 (expect monday, sept 7th) ->

Moments later, the sound Bakugous boots stomping across the linoleum floor echos throughout the hall. He remains quiet as he follows you, not risking the punishment of disturbing other hero classes by spewing his typical demeaning insults or using his quirk  But a glance behind your shoulder reveals how threatening he is, even in silence. His grin is sadistic, and there’s fierce passion in his eyes.

The passion to rip your fucking guts out, that is.

Bakugou's animalistic instincts kick in the longer the chase persists, his mind dismissing everything but you, his prey.

A few twists and turns later, you Bakugous fingers grasp the back of your shirt collar. You gasp as he violently pulls you back into his chest, only letting go once he's thrown you on the ground. He looms over you with a crazed look on his face, his smile crooked and his eyes ablaze. He looks batshit crazy, yet you think it’s insanely attractive.

“You’re going to pay for that, you cowardly bastard,” he growls, his vermillion eyes pouring liquid rage into yours.

Perfect.

You hold his gaze and activate your quirk.

Suddenly, wordless cries reverberate throughout the chasms of his mind. Wails and shrieks pound against his head, desperate to escape. He cowers into a fetal position with his hands covering his ears, a fruitless attempt to keep the howls out. All Bakugou can see before the world goes dark is the glow of your e/c eyes. 

You push yourself off the floor as Bakugou begins to rub his eyes, a feeble attempt to regain sight. Your attack will keep him at bay for a while, giving you the perfect opportunity to escape to the training grounds. 

At the time you arrive on the grounds, Bakugou wearily rises to his feet. The world spins around him while three words spin around his mind.

What the fuck?!

Granted, Bakugou knew you were powerful.

Well, the better word is he was aware you were powerful.

He considered you were a slimy wannabe hero when he caught you knocking out other contestants to steal their wins during the entrance exam, but decided you were just another extra when you practically failed Aizawa’s physical tests on the first day. His feelings only changed when you almost fought in him at the sports festival. He heard your battle was intense, but half ‘n half managed to blow you off the court before you could incapacitate him. Even though you lost that third round, you made it pretty damn far.

But, he didn’t know you were capable of disabling him with a single glance. 

You’ve impressed him. 

But the cost of impressing and temporarily impairing Bakugou is your strength.  Using your special move always takes a physical toll on you. Bakugous throbbing brain keeps him grounded in reality, while your piercing pain keeps you awake enough to make it to the training grounds.

When Bakugou arrives you’ve collected your bearings, your headache subdued by a few Advils.

“Took you long enough,” you jeer, crossing your arms and standing your ground.

Bakugou is heaving, his vermillion eyes communicating what his mouth can’t.

And they say he’s going to fry you like dead meat.

A low, guttural noise builds up in Bakugous chest. It builds and rises in his body like hot air, until finally he releases it with a battle cry, “I’m going to kill you!” 

He charges at you with explosions from both hands, baring his teeth like a rabid dog. 

The rapid firing of his explosions leave you no time to think of a strategy, so you focus on dodging while getting in close. From this length, you can momentarily harvest some of his thoughts. But honestly, it seems like he’s blind with rage and firing recklessly. 

You should know Bakugou better than that.

He’s aware that after the stunt you pulled earlier, your quirk works best at a short distance. The fact you need direct eye contact to activate your quirk effectively is a clear sign proximity is a limitation of yours. He also knows that powerful move must have exhausted you. Not only will his long-range blasts and constant movement make it nearly impossible for you to make eye contact with him, but your attempts to dodge them and get closer will wear you out even more. Then, depending on if you make an attack from this long-distance and how strong that attack is, he’ll know more about the restrictions of your quirk. He grins to himself, thinking how he’s too amazing for his own good.

You also take a moment to smile to yourself. Little does he know you have the ability to briefly manifest the thoughts of others, and heard his entire plan. You have to admit, that clever strategy would’ve totally defeated you. 

Too bad it’s completely useless.

If he plans to keep you at a distance until you're worn out, that means you have to get in close as soon as possible. Meaning you have to rush in and run the risk of being hit with one of his blasts. 

You know Bakugou isn’t dumb. You notice he never fires from the same position or with the same type of explosion. He’s always moving, constantly searching for your blind spot, and changing how he attacks. One second he’s on your left, using both hands to shoot you with one ginormous fire-ball. The next, he’s behind you and sending a million tiny blasts your way. Finding a way to slip past his advanced combat skills is nearly impossible. 

Nearly.

You’ve been playing this game of cat and mouse for a few minutes now. You’re falling into a rhythm; he shoots, you dodge, and he shoots again. He’s falling into a pattern; shoot, move, shoot again, move again. Knowing where he’ll land next is a matter of understanding the when and where of his reactions. When you dodge an attack, when does he decide to change up his behavior, and where does he go to deliver the next blast?

Bakugou is convinced that your sluggish reaction times are proof of his oncoming victory. While, yes, the heaviness of physical exhaustion is starting to weigh you down, the real reason is focusing on formulating a plan. And for someone with a mental quirk like you, thinking is the most dangerous thing you can do.

When it appears that your body is about to give up, Bakugou runs and aims an explosion in the exact place you expected. You manage to meet his eyes and send hundreds of whispered messages into his brain. He falters on his shot, dazed and confused. You surprise him by sprinting straight to his strategically plotted spot, and therefore, face-planting into his chest. The sudden force of his chest mixed with your momentum sends you both flying back. 

You planned to land on top of Bakugou, which would not only pin him to the ground and secure your victory, but also gave you an excuse to straddle his hips in the way you’ve spent so many math classes dreaming about. But instead, you both end up rolling across the ground. You land on your stomach, and after taking a few moments to recover, you catch Bakugou sprawled out on his back. 

This is my chance.

You clumsily push yourself off the ground and stumble over to Bakugou. You practically fall on top of him, and the sudden weight ontop of his sore core forces a groan to escape his lips. He weakly tries to push you off him, but his failed attempts leave him flailing his arms and legs to try and squirm out from under you. He’s acting like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

"How does it feel to lose, Bakugou?" you smirk. “It’s embarrassing enough that you always lose to Deku, and now you’re losing to his girlfriend too! It’s so pathetic I almost feel bad for you!”

A moment ago, every limb in Bakugous body was screaming at him to sleep. Now, his it burns alive with rage. He uses the rage surging through his veins to generate one last explosion that shoots you into the sky. After a few seconds of soaring upwards, Bakugou launches himself in your direction with the last explosions his tired body can summon. He wraps his arms around your back and pulls you into his chest, one of his hands holding your head in the nape of his neck for extra protection. The two of you spiral in the air like a torpedo.

The sky expels you into the ground like a bullet, and the concrete cracking beneath you.

When you open your eyes, Bakugou is swaying above you. His eyes are half-lided, and blood drips from his nose onto your face.

“Lets… Call it even…” you mumble as he collapses beside you. 

You both spend a few minutes slipping in and out of consciousness, desperately searching at the barriers of your mind for an escape through. Eventually, Bakugou gains enough strength to slip his way through a crack. He picks you up bridle style and carries you to the outskirts of U.A. High. Unable to go any further, he slides against one of the buildings walls into a sitting position, resting your head on the side of his thigh once he’s comfortable. 

Only now does he see how beautiful you are. 

Your resting face is so peaceful, his racing heart calms the longer he stares. Your skin glistens underneath the sun, every bead of sweat rolling down your cheeks looking like a shooting star gliding across the beautiful night sky. Your e/c hair wreathes around Bakugou’s legs like a corkscrew, and he delicately untangles your soft locks. Sometimes your nose twitches as he pulls at your hair, but only when he brushes a stray flyaway out of your face do your eyes finally flutter open.

Your body is bruised and bloodied, and the worst of your injuries are the concrete chunks penetrating deep cuts in your back. Although Bakugou finds every girl looks beautiful after a fight. And you, even with your injuries, are no exception.

It’s not because he’s some kinky pervert, but he sees these injuries as markings of a true hero. A true hero is someone who endures pain but always keeps fighting. He thought since you were dating that nerd you were a pussy, but you’ve proven to him you’re a total badass.

Bakugou’s eyes are inches away from yours. You immediately notice his glare isn’t as… Spiteful, as usual. It’s serene. And it’s making you blush.

“How long have you been staring at me like that for, perv?” You yawn with a stretch. Your forearms rub against Bakugous thighs as you pop your elbows. His face turns a shade of pink, not the angry intense red he’s is accustomed to.

“Hey! I saved your life, idiot. You should be thanking me!” Bakugou fumes, the color of his face slowly deepening to his typical red.

“Yeah, and you’re also the person who tried to fucking explode me! So it cancels out, you asshole!” You yell as you dart up, only to fall back down. You struggle once more to your feet only to collapse in a heap. “Fuck, I can’t---” you mumble, the world around you fading to black. You scream for your mouth to move and demand your legs to stand, but your body refuses to cooperate. Eventually, you succumb to the darkness.

Bakugou’s battered body is only capable of shuffling with you in his arms to Recovery Girls’ office before he passes out too.

You wake up hours later to the feeling of a cold, wet kiss on your back. You “eugh!” in disgust as you flinch away from Recovery Girl’s lips.

“Ah, glad to see you’re finally awake,” she chirps before turning to treat Bakugou. “You two had quite the battle! Hurt eachother pretty bad for a couple of first years.” She fiercely spins around to wag her wrinkly finger in your face. “Mr. Aizawa will be sure to hear about this!”

“No!” you exclaim, before clearing your throat to lower your voice. “Please don’t tell him Recovery Girl!” you plead more rationally, “Bakugou and I were just having a... tactical battle to find out more about eachothers quirks for an assignment, that’s all! I think we just both got a little carried away…” You rub your injured arm awkwardly. 

“Get off me, you old hag!” A now conscious Bakugou commands Recovery Girl. She backs away to her desk to take some notes, but not before calling him an “ungrateful and rude young man”. Bakugou turns to face you, and scans his handiwork (aka, your injuries). “You really got your ass handed to you, huh?” he congratulates himself. You roll your eyes.

“Don’t forget, Recovery Girl is smoochin’ you too. Meaning I did some serious damage.” you point out, fighting a smile. You want to keep your face as smug as Bakugou’s.

“Whatever, loser. We’ll call it a tie,” he smirks at you. “Until I get the chance to beat the shit out of you.”

“Trust me. Next time we fight, there won’t be a tie. Only me standing victorious over your dumb corpse.” you challenge with crossed arms. You can’t help but notice the excitement in Bakugous eyes, and how a genuine grin paves its way across his face. Though when there’s a knock at the door, his smile falls so fast you question if you imagined it.

“Oh! Looks you two have some visitors,” Recovery Girl announces, wobbling towards the door.

Neither you nor Bakugou are in the mood to deal with your significant others. You shake your head and cry, “Please don’t let them in!” But Izuku Texas smashes the door wide open and runs to you, Uraraka following close behind. 

“Y/n! Are you okay?!” he cups your cheeks, and you nod. He ignores your affirmation and scans your entire body for any sign of harm. “O-oh, you have scratches everywhere!” He gingerly pokes a healing cut on your knee, causing a hiss of pain to escape you. 

“Bakugou, where are you hurt?” Uraraka runs her hands down Bakugous biceps, feeling for any bumps or bruises.

“Get off of me,” he growls under his breath, not wanting to draw your attention to them. “I said, get your hands off of me!” Bakugou raises his voice when Uraraka doesn’t listen to him.

“You,” Izuku glowers at Bakugou, “You did this to her,” 

“Izuku, leave him alone,” you plea. He ignores you.

“You hurt her again.” Izuku mumbles, Bakugou quirking his head at the word “again”.

“Zuzu, Bakugou didn’t do shit.” you grab Izukus shoulder to spin him towards you, but he uses his quirk to brush you off. But Izuku ‘brushing you off’ with his quirk means with a single finger flick, he propels you into the wall at the other side of the room. 

“Oh dear,” Recovery Girl gasps through a hand over her mouth

“What the hell?!” Bakugou barks, darting over to you. Uraraka catches his arm and holds him back. 

You struggle to rise. Your legs shake under your weight, but you force them to support you. You glare at the ground, absolutely mortified. Even though you’re disgusted with Midorya, you manage to look him in his eyes.

“We’re done,” you mumble. At this point your whole body trembles, but you can’t tell if it’s from rage or exhaustion.

“Wuh-what?” Izuku’s puppy dog eyes pout in disbelief. He takes a step towards you but you step away. 

“Sorry, was I not loud enough? Allow me to be more clear,” 

You shut your eyes. When you open them, they’re neon e/c.

You’re using your second, and final special move to announce to the whole school Izuku can go to hell.

Your sonic blast. 

“Izuku Midoriya, you and I are done!” You scream into the minds of the hundreds of students attending U.A. You specifically aim your eyes at Izuku, so he receives the worst of it.

Izuku falls to his knees, his green eyes welling up with tears. You might’ve burst his eardrums with that emission. Good.

With that, you run out of Recovery Girls' office and straight to the gym.

All the emotions you've kept bottled up for this entire year suddenly spill out of you. With every punch, your forbidden feelings for Bakugou wiggle back into your heart. Your pent-up rage for Izuku turns into a feeling you've repressed ever since you started dating.

Regret.

You regret twisting your frustration with Bakugou's and Urarakas relationship into feelings for your best friend. 

You slam your fists against the bag, more hot tears streaming down your face with every punch.

You regret ever kissing him that night.

You wish you would've stayed just friends.

omg i have taglist now🥺: @soa1eater

[butchhamlet]

king lear fic recs!!!

i’ve been hyperfixating on king lear since april and there are only 62 fics in the ao3 tag (only 56 of which are actually about king lear and not, like, tagged that way because it’s an AU of another fandom). so i decided. i was going to read all of them.

and i did!

and it’s… really something. the tag is… really something. the fact that 7 of those fics (you know. 11% of the tag) are inc*st fics is… really something! (reminder that this blog is not a safe space for incest shippers!!! i don’t fucking care if they’re half brothers i’m going to beat you with your own bones)

but to say that the entire tag is full of creeps would be very incorrect because there is, in fact, a lot of very good content in there! so, as i now have a masters in this one ao3 tag, here are my recommendations :3c

(obligatory note that these are just my personal favs, ymmv, etc etc, but also please do go give these people some love dhfdshfsbfs. the Talent)

mumbling of wicked charms - MACY’S (@suits-of-woe) GLOUCESTER-BROTHERS-CENTRIC DND AU DESTROYS ME LITERALLY EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT IT. GENUINELY. EVERY LINE OF THIS FIC. IS A NEW GIFT AND A NEW KNIFE THROWN INTO MY HEART.

These Late Eclipses - genuinely one of my favorite lear fics of all time and probably my all-time favorite edmund characterization. this is the “what if edmund stepped in during the eye-plucking scene” au and it’s so so tasty. love that this bitch remains a bastard (metaphorically) even when he’s on the good side like. im obsessed

When She Was Bad - ANOTHER of my favorite lear fics of all time; this one is regan-centric pre-canon and it. is so well written. like i think i could write a fucking essay on this fic and its nuances and the way it foreshadows canon and the things it does with the characters of all three sisters. it is SO well written i am LOSING MY MIND

To Be King - edgar, post-canon, seeing ghosts. the characterization in this makes me litcherally insane like every character is so on point and also the writing is just lovely

Daisy Chains, Cuddles, and Crabbing - top ten fics to soothe the gaping hole left in my heart by the actual canon of king lear. this is literally just, like, the three lear sisters as kids going out to catch crabs and goneril is v gently implied to be nonbinary or at least gnc and cordelia is just. a BABY and it is so sweet [holds this fic to my chest]

Che nel pensier rinova la paura - this is that “hamlet and edmund meet” fic and i can’t say much more without spoilers but the ending hit me like a CAR

nadia's king lear au - shoutout to nadia @bisexualgloucester for writing a BANGER king lear AU/universe that caters to me specifically /half joke but only half. wtf gay little kent <3

Sky, Sea, and Storm - and shoutout to lucy @maryabolkonskys for writing this short gorgeous edgar piece that destroys me every time i think about it

most best, most dearest - A CORDELIA WHO ISN’T A WEAK INNOCENT NAIVE LITTLE GIRL… WE LOVE TO SEE IT. also this one is just very sweet! (cordelia & france focused!)

ACT V.3 - this one is lear’s pov and y’all know how i feel about lear as a person but this fic made me SCREAM it is so gorgeous and SO goddamn sad :(

within the gentle heart abideth love - you are going to look at this and you are going to think “edmund x romeo?? like romeo montague?” but i promise it is good. trust me. the characterization and the worldbuilding in this DID something to me

Mercutio Makes a Discord - god fucking knows if this counts as a king lear fic (the lear sisters & gloucester brothers are in it but not the main characters per se?) but literally every chapter of this fic has obliterated me im begging you to read it. shakespeare wants what ao3 user theevilsnuffleupagus has

honorable mentions because they aren’t on ao3 but are really really good anyway:

this piece by @stripedroseandsketchpads is almost 100% the background for the way i understand and characterize lear (the man)

and i CANNOT explain how much macy’s goneril and edmund piece haunts me. so many of these lines live rent fucking free in my head (though may i single out “no one would guess the man had three daughters”). transcendental