#im just done hanging onto negativity

[switchytransboy]

The way that a “certain” person/people on here were talking shit about you when you returned but you’re the most real and honest person i’ve seen on here lately is just horrible.

not even surprised lmao

it doesn’t phase me like, you’ll always be the bad guy in someone’s book and that’s life. you can’t help it but you can move on and be better from it.

i came back to floods of anons and dm’s and so on of people who remembered me from all my blogs of the past being so happy to see me again. those are the people i focus on <3

[grcetxt]

Fuck it we ball fanfic time. Gn reader x lars pinfield WOO

Okay WOO lmk if this is shit or ooc or anything, but im pretty happy with how this went :D its a little rushed, might redo it in the future idk. Also i made Y/N bit too much like me (northern) so watch out for that american readers SORRYYY. anwyays enjoy!

I am smart.

No don't laugh, I am, genuinely I am.

Maybe not in the way that others deem important, maybe not in the traditional sense, but I am bright.

Pinfield doesn't think so, the prick.

Every day I come into work, all smiling and welcoming, and what do I get in return? A roll of the eyes if I'm lucky.

Dickhead.

But I don't let him get to me, I love my job. My boss is chill, I love hanging out with Lucky, and the Spenglers seem nice! It's a good gig, really.

I'm the "PR guy" for Ghost Corps. Every time they fuck up and destroy a building or whatever I'm the one who covers it up. I'm a real smooth talker, 'gift of the gab' my mum used to call it.

The team needs me, I know that, they know that. Im crucial to the whole operation, the sole reason why that whiny mayor dude hasnt shut them down.

I'm the one who goes to press interviews, who goes on the radio or on TV. I'm the social media manager, I make videos, and post tweets, fuck I've even started a Ghostbusters youtube account! I deserve a raise honestly. #justiceforY/NthePRguy

I get on with everyone at work except for Pinfield, and I genuinely dont know why.

I've tried getting him to feature in videos, or explain the science of stuff to me so I can actually seem like I know what I'm talking about- but he just brushes me off.

Gary tries to reassure me about this on a daily basis. "Its nothing to do with you Y/N" he smiled one day, putting a hand on my shoulder and guiding me away from the busy scientist. "He doesnt really talk to anyone, he gets really passionate about his work"

"I get that, but there's no need for him to be a dick to me, he's got me thinking all kinds of shit honestly!" I replied, exhasperated "I've never done nowt to him"

Suddenly, Pinfield raised his head from his work, scrunching his eyebrows together. "thats a double negative" he commented, looking at me as if I was stupid. Great, It's the most he's ever spoken to me and its a fucking insult- atleast I think it is.

"you what?" I ask, making my way over to him despite Garys protests. I fold my arms, looking as menacing as i can (which ive been told isn't very menacing at all)

"I said its a double negative, if you've never done nothing then you must've done something" before I can reply, he adds onto the end "which you haven't, by the way. I dont know why you think that. I treat you the same as anyone else"

I can't explain why his answer bothers me so much, but it does. Why does he view me in the same way he views the others? That's hardly fair. I'm always welcoming to him, I make time out of my day to include him in things. I hate to admit it, but I genuinely admire him aswell. His love for all things paranormal, the way he gets so excited and proud when he gets to explain the science of ghost-catching to someone. It's oddly endearing.

I tell him as much (excpet for the stuff about him being endearing, he doenst need his ego inflated any more than it already is)

He looks confused, I've never seen him look like that- its weird. Arrogant? sure. Annoyed? when is he not bffr. Happy? Once or twice. But confused? Weird. This is the guy with all the answers, the smart one.

He thinks for a moment, before seemingly making a desision. He stands up with a small huff of exhasperation, and walks off.

As he goes past me, he grabs my arm, more gently than I thought he was capable of. Okay, i guess im coming too. Fun, roadtrip time.

He takes me out of the lab and down the corridor, into a relatively well lit small room.

"Well this is-" before i can speak properly, he cuts me off. Told you he was a prick.

"I dont understand you Y/N" he blurts out, looking at me, as if I'm some sort of specimin hes studying in the lab.

"Well good." I joke. I dont like the serious tone he's taking. Dont like how aware I am of his gaze. HATE the fact I can feel my cheeks burning. Gross. Pinfield is a dick, we've established this. Why the fuck am I BLUSHING because he's LOOKING at me? Bit embarassing, pull it together Y/LN.

He doenst like this though. He shakes his head, pacing around.

"No Y/N you dont get it. I understand everyone, sort of anyways. I've observed them, I can predict their reactions to things. I know what they're all like- but you're... I just dont understand! You're so happy and nice all the time, but you also get angry at stupid stuff, but never really properly angry? I cant make sense of it, genuinely. You've not done anything wrong, you can't do anything wrong. Thats frustrating too. It's like you're this perfect, beautiful person, and I've been trying to see flaws but I cant-" He rambles, speaking like hes just letting out one stream of constant thoughts. He seems stressed, poor guy.

I interupt him, grabbing his arm. "Hey, c'mon Pinfi- I- Lars. C'mon Lars. I'm not worth the stress mate" I try and reassure him, but that just agitates him more.

"See! That's just it! I've been horrible to you, I admit it. But you've kept trying with me! When I hurt my hand you were the one who bandaged it and put it in a sling"

(i had found him almost blacked out from the pain on the lab floor, even the memory of it sent a shiver down my spine)

"you were the only one that looked for me after we all nearly died fighting Garraka"

("Pinfield? Pinfield!? Oh my god, there you are! Thank fuck you're alright!" Okay maybe this tiny non-crush had been going on longer than i thought... christ)

"I dont like the thought of you hurt..." i muttered, embarrased. this definitely wasnt how i was expecting this conversation to go, fuck my life I was crushing on a nerdy scientist who defintely didn't like me back.

He stopped his pacing and walked over to me until the gap between us was non existant. He slowly, hesitantly, lifted his hand until he cupped my cheek.

"I don't like the thought of you upset because of me" he muttered, his voice low.

My heart completely stopped, my breath caught in my throat, was this happening? how was this happening? i swear this guy was like my mortal enemy not even 5 minutes ago. so many revelations were bieng made today...

I decided to be bold, why not? fuck it, i've got nothing to loose at this point.

I leaned in so our noses just grazed eachother, looking at him, really genuinely looking at him. his soft blue eyes that seemed to peer into my soul. Not pierce through it, like some weird blue eyed fuckers i knew, but looked. gently, tenderly, as if he was looking at everything i ever had been, or would be. like i was something beautiful, something to be treaured.

It made me want to sob at the thought. god, how disgustingly sweet.

"make up for it then" i whispered, the tension so thick i could cut it with a knife.

I'd planned on being the one to make the forst move, but apparently, that was all that Lars needed.

He kissed me. His soft lips pressed against mine, sotfly, tenderly, tentatively.

I could feel the anxiety radiating off of him, so i quickly reciprocated. More eagerly than i owuldve liked- but oh well.

I could feel his hand resting on my waist, his thumb gently stroking my cheek. It all felt so tender, so raw, not at all how i thought it would be.

I felt like a teenager again, and couldnt resist letting out a small giggle, making Lars pull away. He looked confused again, making me laugh once again.

"What?" he aksed, a sort of amused smile on his face.

"Nothing- sorry. Nothing at all. Just thinking of how fuming mums gonna be when i tell her ive got a posho for a boyfriend"

"I am NOT posh!"

"you are a littleee"

"I AM NO- wait- boyfriend?"

"oh shit didnt mean to say that bi-"

he cut me off with another kiss, this one much more confident.

It felt like a million fireworks were going off in my head, oh I could definetly get used to this feeling. This war, sweet, happy feeling. My senses were flooded with everything Lars. His taste, his smell, his touch.

I felt like I was learning to live again.

[0xghost-ro]

Can you write some headcanon or maybe a short fic for yandere Wally get jealous? Maybe reader get too friendly with other neighbors and Wally didn't like that?

I absolutely love the way you write yandere Wally (the yandere alphabet is so great 💗)

Oh btw, do you write yandere for other characters in Welcome Home? If no then that's okay, just asking :)

I Am 100% Open To Writing For The Other Characters! Wether It Be Yandere Or Not. I Haven't Done The Other Characters Yet So It May Not Be Great? But I Won't Get Better Till I Write More And More For Them!

Im Happy You Enjoyed The Yandere Alphabet Dear! Hope You Like This As Much As That! It'll Be Some Headcannons With A Small Little Fic♡

Wally x GN Reader.

.Like In The Alphabet Wally Typically Isn't A Jealous Person. He's Friendly With The Neighbours And They Know Of His Relationship With His Darling! So They Wouldn't Try Anything, Atleast He Hopes They're Smart Enough As To Not Try Anything.

.But There Are Some Case's Where He Finds You Speaking To The Other Neighbours Alot And He's Not A Fan Of It!

.He'll Often Get You To Spend Time With Just Him For The Whole Day To Make Up For Your Lack Of Attention To Him. Recently Though..You Just Keep On Getting Friendlier And Friendlier With The Other Neighbours, Going Out Of Your Way For Them! Constantly Making Plans With Them, You Just..Pushed Him Off To The Side. He Wasn't Happy About That, Oh No No! Your Focus Should Be On Him And Him Alone!

But No It Wasn't And It Left Him With All Sorts Of Negative Feelings.

There Was Nothing You Loved More Then Being Able To Speak With The Other Neighbours. Sure It Would Get Draining After Socialising With Many People But You Loved It Nonetheless! The Other Neighbours Were Just So Friendly And Open You Couldn't Help But Want To Hang Out With Them More! Sure That Meant You Spent Less Time With Wally But You Were Sure He Understood!

Wally Infact Did NOT Understand, He Didn't Understand Why You Wanted To Spend Time With The Others More Then Him! Were You Losing Interest? Were You Beginning To Become More Intrigued With Them? That Thought Formed A Pit In His 'Stomach', He Couldn't Have You Being More Attatched To The Others And Not Him...That Wouldn't Be Fair! Not After All The Effort He Had Put In.

"Darling." Wally Approached You, Usual Smile On His Face, Eye's Half Closed. You Had Been Hanging Out With Julie And Sally For So Long And While They Were Off Doing Something, He Saw This As An Opportunity To Confront You About This Whole Thing. "I Haven't Seen You These Past Few Days, You've Always Been Running Off With The Other Neighbours." He Huffed, But There Was No Look On His Face That Would Suggest He Was Annoyed, No, He Looked As Happy As Ever!

"Sorry Wally!" Whatever Your Attention Was On Was Taken By Wally Approaching. "I Never Hung Out With The Other Neighbours Much And They Began Inviting Me To Hang Out, There Was No Harm In Accepting." A Lobsided Smile Rested On Your Face As You Shifted Your Weight From One Foot Onto The Other.

"Ah I See," He Paused For A Moment, A Hum Rumbling From Him "Well, Since We Haven't Hung Out For Sometime! Why Don't We Go To Home? We Could Paint Something Together." A Frown Formed On Your Face "But Wally, Sally And Julie Will Be Coming Back Soon-"

"Why Don't We Go Back To Home?" He Repeated In A Much More Serious Tone "We Can Make Up For Lost Time!" He Cheerfully Stated As He Grabbed His Darlings Hand With A Tight Grip, Dragging You Along Down The Path Towards The House, Home's Eye's Watching All The While.

I Hope This Was Okay!

For Those Who Left Requests, I Appreciate It And I Will Get To Them I Promise!

Next Up?

I Can't Tell You It Would Ruin The Surprise c:

[jjtheclown555]

keep in mind this is based on my practices and im using practices that many pagan, wiccan, and spiritual people do!! also ik goo is ooc at the end, im sorry but its 4am and i want soft love rn so thats what im writing😭also yes its low quality, i only spent like an hour and a half actually working on it...anyways off to bed i go bc i have an exam tmrw at 9:30am so idk why im still awake, god help me and tell my to stop typing

Goo with a spiritual girl

One of the first times you met Goo he asked about your necklace. The blue circular eye hanging off the black string. He said he had seen them before and questioned it.

"It's an evil eye, for spiritual protection." You explain. He only looks more confused though.

He hums and asks how it protects anything. "If someone comes to attack you, how does a necklace protect you?" He asks.

You chuckle, "Like I said, it's for spiritual protection." You elaborate on your original point, clarifying. "Let's say someone is jealous of you-"

"Who wouldn't be jealous of me?" He interrupts, his grin widening as you let out a sarcastic laugh.

"Hush," you say. "All the people that are most definitely jealous of you send you negative energy. The evil eye returns a look, sending that energy back to them so it can't affect your life." You continue, "Many people in turn believe that when your evil eye is lost or breaks, it means that it's done its service in protecting you, but it has absorbed too much negativity and you need to replace it to regain your protection."

He listens carefully as you explain all the ins and outs of its purpose, both in your beliefs and the beliefs of others. Goo doesn't understand much of your rambles, but it's nice to see you blather on.

His next questions happened when you had been dating awhile and moved in with him. As he watched you litter his penthouse with incense holders, crystals, and plants, he got curious again.

"Is this all for spiritual protection too?" He asks, his tone mocking on the words 'spiritual protection.' You just roll your eyes and ignore him. "C'mon, tell me!" He pleads, holding your hands between his with an exaggerated pleading face.

All you can do is sigh and explain the purpose of each thing. You tell him that each crystal has a different metaphysical effect—which he cuts off, asking if he could sell some for a pretty penny—and each type of incense can have different benefits as well.

"And the plants?" He tilts his head. "Are those spiritual or do you just like plants?"

"Both." You say, potting a fern. "I like plants but I also like having pieces of nature around me all the time."

He kisses the top of your head and holds your waist from behind. "That is adorable, princess." He sways you from side to side, asking to hear more just to watch your excited rambling (and maybe gain a little more ammo to tease you with later.)

Goo sneaks up on you while you shuffle your cards, surprising you with a soft kiss against your collar. You drop the cards, watching them scatter across the coffee table.

"Whoops!" He says, watching you pick them up. "I would help but I don't need another, 'Don't touch my witchy shit,' lecture."

You look back at him as you even out your cards. "Be respectful," you start. "And that's just my crystals and such because even unintentionally they will absorb any negativity." You place the cards onto the table with care. "What can I do for you, Goo?"

He sits next to you on the couch, eyes sparkling so much they could blind you. "I want you to give me a reading!" He says. It's less of a request and more of a command, something you hardly have time for.

You ruffle his hair affectionately to contradict you words. "I thought it was, 'witchy shit,' was it not?" He halfheartedly apologizes—not that any sense of regret was really in it. While teasing, you do enjoy seeing him take an interest in your practices. "What is your question, hun?"

He thinks, "Can I have two?" You nod. "The first one is, how will my financials be in the future? Will I be rolling in an even bigger pile of cash? I know the answer, but some confirmation would be nice."

You do the reading and it proves his point, each card describing a more luscious life than the last. So, you ask for his next question, the teensiest bit disappointed that you couldn't put him in his place just for a moment.

"What will our relationship be like a year from now?"

You look up a little shocked. It's not that you didn't know Goo loved you. It was a fact difficult to miss. But seeing him question it through your beliefs, through what matters to you instead of turning the reading into a joke, it made you soft.

You smiles a bit and reshuffle the cards, knocking on the deck three times before shuffling again and waiting as cards drop.

The first is the two of cups. The lord of love. He notices it written on the bottom and his manic smiles turns softer, seeing a small piece of happiness. Then the wheel of fortune. Lord of the forces of life. He presumes it's positive since it's upright, he's seen you do this enough times to know upright cards tended to be a good thing. The final card to appear is the lovers. He doesn't need to look at the bottom to know what that means.

You go on your spiel. Goo doesn't believe in this stuff. He doesn't think cards can tell the future. He doesn't think crystals can protect you, heal you, or attract good things. He doesn't think incense protects your home. But this. This he believes in.

He listens intently as you talk about the close bond you'll have thanks to the two of cups. He wonders what changes will come in the year from the wheel of fortune. And he believes each word about the intense spiritual bond you'll have from the lovers.

When you finish your explanation, he holds on tightly to you, not a worry in the world as he takes a moment to understand why you believe in this. He may not, but he can still see the beauty in your beliefs.

It's the moment he finally understands you. Where his teasing and joking becomes less genuine.

When he finds beauty in your view of love.

You lie back in bed, taking deep breaths in and out, focusing solely on calming each bone in your body. You reach your peace, continuing to focus and reach deeper into your mind when something large bounces on the bed, startling you out of your calmed state. Turning to look, you see Goo, smiling as per usual at your grumpy face and enjoying the way your lips form a pout at him.

He pulls you towards him, "You meditate every night and I just wanna cuddle and sleep!" He groans. You can feel the water on his bare chest from his shower just moments before. You shove him away and sit up, closing your eyes and attempting to regain your meditative state but he pulls you back. "It's late, princess! Let's sleep!"

When your head hits the pillow and you feel his arms envelope you completely, you almost instantly feel your eyes begin to get drowsy. "Fine." You mumble at him, easy into a more comfortable position. "But you're meditating with me tomorrow."

He promises he will, drifting into dreamworld without much thought and you already know he won't make due on his promise. Not that you care. Him holding you is soothing enough to make up for a lifetime of missed meditations.

It's finally that time of year. The eve of the summer solstice. You ask him if he wants to stay up with you and he agrees so you drag him to the nearest beach to sit together and watch the sunrise. You had packed everything you would need to stay out all night.

The day speeds by when you are both together. He watches you lay out offerings and enjoys the food you had spent all day making the day prior.

You both talk the whole day through. Some of it is jokes from Goo with heartwarming laughter that you return, some is discussion of what the solstice is and what it means and why you celebrate it, but most of it is meaningless banter that seems to come most often when it's just you both in each others presence.

By the end of the day though, you are completely exhausted as you lay in the sand of the beach once more. Goo doesn't allow it though. "You said this was the best part of the day, so up! I'll light the fire, c'mon, Y/N!" He takes the matchbox and lights the bonfire. Pocketing it, he reaches his hands out as you come closer so he can pull you in and begin dancing together.

"This is nice..." You say while he twirls you around. He agrees, keeping you on your feet until the sun has fully set behind you, pink and orange hues disappearing as darkness falls over you both.

Goo leans in for a kiss. It's different than most. It's soft, gentle even. He doesn't say much after, presumably tired out from the day you spent out with no sleep whatsoever. Only a few words come out while he drapes his arm over your shoulder and walks with you back to the car. "We can do this next year too." He says before his signature grin pulls his cheeks up—more genuine than most of his smiles—and a chuckle escapes him. "The cards said so."

[cadaverousconsumer]

helloooo here are my beta kid headcanons! @icarusshomestuckfan do u remember that one convoersation we had about how i had no headcanons? well i do now!!!!

also im only doing the beta kids rn cause i dont wanna spoil anything for @giggleshitter0

ok chat starting with my main dude

Dave Strider hc!! dave is definitely, at the start at least, very thin but relatively lanky bc of general malnourishment from bro. however i like 2 think that he would become healthier throughout the comic and eventually become a healthy weight for his height. dave i think, if he went 2 school i think people would like him and think he was cool and wanna hang out buttt i think that he wowuld only have a couple good friends like the other beta kids buttt like his irl friends. i think dave definetly learned many domestic chores at a very young age. however i think bro would care about how dave looks, like his style and whatnot, but it would be strictly mandated by bro, with lil room for dave to express himself differently from bro. i think that dave is biracial bc i think roxy is black n dirk is pale asf in a white way.

kk now for our unoffical main character the nicest sigmaest guy john!

John Egbert hc: just clariying i think june egbert iis totally cool and probably canon buttt i personally never rly thought about it b4 getting into the fandom so i have no headcanons for her so here r my headcanons for john. john definitely is on the chubbier smaller side imo. his dad does bake a lot! i think john had a pretty good upbringing and was pretty happy with his bad movies and prank obssession. at school he probably had a couple nerdy friends and tehy were all very close! i dont think he would play dnd buttt if he did i bet thats where he would meet his friends, stranger things style. john is a classic nerd and people like him bc hes so nice and very considerate. john likes basketball n has fun playing it but isnt very good. i think john is half brazilian bc i think jake is brazilian but alpha kids are for another day haha. john has definetly broken his glasses a few times tripping over things. i think hes a bit clumbsy lol.

now onto our goth queennnn rose

Rose Lalonde hc: rose definitely had a rough childhood 2 but i think her mom took more care of her then bro did even if it was only 2 play the role of motherhood for her passive aggressive tendencies. she definitely stopped doing anything (other than vacuuming lol) once rose was old enough to do it herself. i think roses hair is bleached and straightened to oblivion and when she gets older shes defintely gonna wish she hadnt done it so much when she was younger. i think at school many people would have wanted to be her friend but she prefered more solitude, for wizard fanfics and eldritch god study. i think rose is shorter and curvier, (i def like the idea of her being shorter than kan) and a bit darker than dave. she started her intensive makeup routine in the hopes of attracting her mothers attention negatively, but with no luck. however she kept up with it because she found she liked the repetitivness of putting it on each morning, as well as the fact that it fit her overall aesthetic.

now for everyones fav doggie girl, jade!

Jade Harley hc: i love jade i think she is sooo cute. jade had an interesting childhood, being raised by a god level dog. i dont think it was necessarily bad just... very different from the other kids. i imagine she was left unattended a lot, but bec would always be aware of when to teleport in 2 save her. her hair is very long and has never really been cut officially due 2 living in the woods. jade is completely homeschooled and has nevre left the island. i think jade is rather petite and pretty thin overall... i imagine dogs probably arent the best at nutrition for humans haha. even tho jade doesnt know any kids her age in person i think she probably had many online friends and spent a lot of time online, playing games, watching videos, and just messing around. i think she learned bass from a youtube video. jade is also half brazilian cause jake

well those r my shitty headcanons

[areyouafraid]

other metal artist thoughts

motorhead: i always liked lemmy's gravelly growly singing voice but he had a really weird... thing... with like WW2 nazi shit that. puts one off at best. im not going to offer further comment on that rn because it's "complicated" or so i'm told but best case scenario... why

slipknot: slipknot was the first "nu metal" band i think i really got into. i still like them and they seem like cool guys. i went and saw them at knotfest actually! i got a shirt

type o negative: real dallasheads know about my type o bias. i know peter said some kind of homophobic stuff but i forgive him tbh. i think he was just being dumb

system of a down: i always liked SOAD. my interest in it sorta tanked after serj did that NFT thing. i still dont really know what to make of that. you could argue it's technically not the worst thing an artist has ever done, but like. dude. how much fucking energy do those eat again? and they were supposed to be nature-themed too iirc like girl

rage against the machine: i like ratm enough... though it is a classic case of people projecting onto a musician. was it the drummer or the vocalist that hangs out with ted nugent? also tom morello has a radio show thing on siriusxm where he's kind of annoying

[graevs666]

I feel like I’ve been this way for so long and no matter how hard I try to do better and escape the thoughts and memories they seem to always be with me.

im just not strong enough to keep dealing with this to be honest. I don’t have the energy to keep trying to fight for a life I gave up on so many years ago. I give up on people, I have done for a long time. I can’t trust people, I can’t love people, I can’t stay alive for them when their lives are just being held down by mine. I don’t think anyone really likes my company. I feel like a hollow shell just hanging on by a thread. I don’t want to die, I just wanted a good life, but the weight of all this trauma, both received and inflicted. I can’t deal with it anymore.

I don’t want to say goodbye forever but I just feel like this life was never meant for someone like me. I never felt good enough, I never felt like my life had any sort of purpose or meaning. I’m just here, a mistake. I don’t like myself, or my life, so I just don’t see the point in going further. I have dreams but they change so quickly nothing feels permanent or fixed and like I’m just holding onto something to romanticise being alive. Or things. Just feel like I’m waiting for the next thing to send me over the edge

I just feel like I’m constantly having negative experiences with people and it makes me question whether I even should live tbh. Like I don’t seem to be getting anywhere, I struggle with functioning and don’t seem to have gotten any help for it. Like yeah, I have trauma, doesn’t seem like there’s really any way to help someone who is too broken from it

I just feel myself so disconnected, apathetic, angry, miserable. I feel myself pulling away further and further away from the people in my life. I don’t have enjoyment because I just don’t feel like I’m actually anything to anyone. Just another thing to fill up space, for someone else to take my place.

I don’t want to cause pain, that’s the last thing I want , but I really do feel like my existence causes more pain. I’ve already fucked up everything. I wasn’t meant to be alive honestly.

I know I should pick the right time, and maybe there will never be a right time to do it. I just am feeling so disconnected from everything around me. My friends, family, myself.

How many more antidepressants and dosages do I need to go through, it all feels so hopeless. I don’t even know who I am. I just feel so broken and fake, too much and not enough

[stinkylittleanon]

Im gonna send in 2 bc i saw you do Haikyuu as well ;) Ok so crush headcannons, and how they confess for Wakatoshi, Atsumu, Tsukishima, Daichi and ill throw in Kageyama into the mix, Ty again! <3

OMGOMGOGMGOMOGMGM USHI!!! SCREAMING AND THROWING UP I AM FUCKING IN LOVE WITH USHIJIMA!!!! LOSING!! MY MIND!!! WAAAAAA

I won't be able to write for Atsumu, as I struggle to understand him, BUT USHI!!! I'll write extra for Ushi!!

------

Ushijima Wakatoshi!!!!!! - SCREAMING AND THROWING UP AND CRYING - I FUCKING LOVE HIM - He'd be so cute when he gets a crush, like where'd this come from! - He actually wouldn't notice at first. Ushijima struggles with his emotions MEGA bad, so he'd confide in Tendou for this. - His crush makes his stomach feel weird, he's always thinking about how they'll be able to be in contact later in the day... Bonus if his crush is on his team in some way!!! Crush time during practice!! Yippee!! - Tendou is fuckin LOSING IT when he learns that THE WAKATOSHI USHIJIMA has a CRUSH!!! LIKE WHAT?!?! WA?!?! - Ushijima actually ignores it at first. Maybe it'll go away... This is getting in the way of his volleyball! It's distracting him! - But it gets stronger. His crush is just... So cute. They're obviously shorter than Ushijima, and he's just... - Tiny lil 'thang... Lovem... - They make Ushi and Tendou's duo into a trio, they'd have to always be around Ushijima for him to get feelings. - USHIJIMA ACTUALLY TEXTS THEM GOODMORNING FIRST! Tendou's jealous of that /j - Anyways, he'd fucking STRUGGLE to confess - How would this influence his future? His schoolwork? Would it be negative? - But he wants... To be close to them so bad... - He ends up handing his crush flowers, demanding they meet him at a cafe nearby, and walking away, Tendou has to pull him back and explain to him what to do.. In front of the crush - If they accept? BEST. FUCKING. DECISION. TREAT HIM GOOD. - If they reject? Screw them, I'm taking their place <3 HELP - Overall, he doesn't understand but comes to appreciate these feelings and confesses in the most awkward way possible.

Tsukishima Kei!! - He catches onto it immediately once he realizes that he sees them as something more. - Tsukishima notices that he wants to hang out with them more. He texts them more and even lets Yamaguchi invite them to walk home... WITHOUT any complaints - The poor guy forces these feelings deep down, though. His thought process is that if he ruins this by any means then he's done for. - He would try and find things that he hates about them... But he only falls harder. There's so much about them to love, even their flaws- he's panicking - This panic would lead to him lashing out on them, the stress built up over time and he realizes that he's fucked up. - That's how he'd confess, basically. After avoiding you for some time after, Yamaguchi pushes him to ACTUALLY do something and... It works, kinda. - Tsukishima convinces you to go with him somewhere private and he explains everything. - If they accept? HOLY. SHIT. He's not expecting that. If they don't? Then he hopes that you two can at least still be friends.

Kageyama Tobio!! - As someone else said when I had to look for other headcanons to get ideas... Best friends to lovers, exactly that - Kageyama would need to know someone to fall in love. It wouldn't be that easy for him. - But he's SUCH a dumbass with emotions, motherfucker doesn't even notice. He thinks it's another level of friendship... So how does he end up knowing? - "Kageyama... You speak about _____ quite a lot. Do you like them?" - HE'S FREAKING THE FUCK OUT, DENYING IT, RED FACED- His heart is racing and he doesn't know why for a second. But he thinks it over later and the just... Holy shit. - God knows when he'd confess, but it's not soon. DEFINITELY not soon, he's too scared to lose you. - So when he does confess, it's when you two are alone and he knows it's the right moment. Something peaceful, where he just feels safe enough to say something. - Whatever the answer, as long as he can still have you by his side then he's still happy!

Daichi Sawamura! - He'd notice over time that he feels happier around them. He gets flustered and they're just... they're so cute - Like holy shit, please... Stop smiling like that! He's getting distracted! - A few volleyballs to the face while he's looking at you as you hang out at practice. - EVERYONE can see it. EVERYONE. He's SOOOO mature about it... Not. He's like a puppy while trying to hide it. - They make him so happy... He wants to hang out with them all the time. Like he's just wrapped around their finger - His confession would be personal AND romantic.. Kind of. - He'd ask them to hang out with him after school, bring you somewhere nice and pretty, and after they hang out for a while he speaks up. - It's the most heartfelt thing they've EVER heard in your life, holy shit... Whether you accept it or not, he will accept it. He handles it maturely! Kind of- If you accept then he's super happy

---

I'M SO SORRY IF THESE DON'T FIT, I HAVEN'T WATCHED HAIKYUU IN YEARS,,,,, I DON'T REMEMBER TOO MUCH ABOUT IT

[minevn]

WEEPING AND WAILING. IM BRINGING YANI TO MY PLACE AND PERSONALLY BAKING HER A CAKE AND MAKING HIM SOME HOT COCOA IN FRONT OF A FIREPLACE AND WAHHHHHHH

You were so excited to spend Christmas with Yani! Okay, well, Yani didn't know it yet! You had told Yani that you would be spending Christmas with Jun and Aki while in reality you were planning the BEST Christmas with Yani. You had decorated your entire house, baked a cake, had a list of "must watched Christmas movies" set out, and you had bought Yani multiple gifts. Now all that your house is missing, is Yani themselves. It was time to set out.

You knew where Yani lived, it was a wreck to say the least. It looked like it was abandoned before Yani moved in, and if you didn't know Yani lived there you'd STILL think it was abandoned. You're still unsure if Yani paid for that house or if he just lives there, either way, you try to get him out of the house as much as possible.

As you approached Yani's house you heard sobbing and noticed a figured and a cake box on the ground. "Yani!?" You carefully ran up to her and kneeled down.

"D-darling? What are you...?" Yani trailed off, she didn't wanna see you right now, didn't want you to see her like this either.

"I came to get you so we could celebrate Christmas together." You gently put Yani into a sitting position.

"Weren't you celebrating with Jun and...that other girl?" Yani asks as you check her for any injuries.

"No, sorry I told you that. I wanted to surprise you..." Guilt overcame you. "I'll never try anything like that again. I didn't know it would upset you so bad." Yani's tears start up again and her head falls onto your shoulder.

"I was so sad, so scared! I though you were going to leave me! I don't wanna be alone anymore! Please, please, please don't ever leave me Mc, please!" Yani held onto you tightly, hyperventilating, "Please, I need you! Please please please please please please please-"

"I won't leave you, Yani. I'm not going anywhere." You gently combed your fingers through Yani's pink, snow covered hair.

"Thank you! Thank you so much. I love you, Mc...I love you so much it scares me."

"I love you too." With those four words, Yani had calmed down significantly. "C'mon, lets head home." You stood up, helping Yani along the way. Yani safely approached the cake box and picked it up before turning to you with an awkward smile.

"I got us cake? It probably, no, definitely destroyed...but we could probably still enjoy it?" You chuckled and nodded.

"I made us a cake but yeah, we can still eat that one."

"You made a cake? You put THAT much effort into this, into ME?"

"Of course I did, you're worth it." Still being vulnerable and emotional, Yani started tearing up again.

"I LOOOOOVE YOUUUUU~!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Yani had made it back home. "Woo it's nice and warm in here!" You chuckled slightly, removing your coat and scarf and hanging it up.

"How long were you out there?" You asked, removing Yani's coat and hanging it up before heading back to remove her scarf.

"...maybe an hour?" You had untangled the scarf when you stopped, gripping it tight when you heard that.

"AN HOUR!? Move move move, get to the fireplace!" You pulled Yani by the scarf to the fireplace and sat her down before removing it and rushing to hang it up. Quickly you got a blanket and wrapped it around her nice and snug. "I'll make you some hot cocoa!"

"Love~ You don't have to do that. I've been feeling warmer ever since I saw you." You shushed Yani, continuing to make the hot cocoa anyways. Once it was done you brought it over to Yani, placing it on the table in front of her.

"Be careful, it's hot. I'll get us some cake really quick."

"I want the one you made~" Yani cheerfully said, the negative feelings from earlier seemingly disappearing. After what felt like FOREVER to Yani, you came back with two forks and slices of cake. "I want cuddles to warm up, get under hehe~" Yani lifted up the blanket and you joined, holding Yani and rubbing her arms to warm her up. Yani sighed in relief, a content and genuine smile appearing on her face. "Maybe Christmas isn't so bad."

[toxooz]

What are some of your characters negative traits? Idk if you’d want to answer that, but I think it adds so much depth to the characters and makes them more fleshed out

ooOOO YES INTRIGUING so I'll just do a few of the more notable/ harder to catch ones bc yall already know mfs like Zortzi are nothing but negative traits lmfao and also a majority of these are worked on/ addressed as the comic will go on so:

Ollie is a lot harsher on Remy than the rest of the squad, mainly because he raised him a good bit, they're related, and Ollie always had to be Remy's keeper but as they get older it gets a little more complex and low key genuinely affects Remy at times and is a contributor to What Eventually Happens in the comic. It's a mixture between Ollie's "you were raised better than that and know better" mindset and his set expectations on Remy that he subconsciously harbors so he can get a little ruthless when it comes to Remy. Ollie also dealt with expectation issues when it came to Ponti first joining the squad. Ollie would deliberately keep him at arms length in expectation that he would turn on them so he kept a guard up that blinded him of any genuine effort Ponti made to be a better person because it wasn't good enough for Ollie. Despite Ponti actually making an effort to change for the better, Ollie never acknowledged the efforts or dismissed them in the name of "he's just pretending to be good so he can turn on us" and also just his relentless push of "that's not a good enough deed to make up for what you've done". Perhaps he deliberately held such impossible expectations for Ponti out of bitterness and spite because he knew Ponti wouldn't be able to meet them and fail so Ollie could have a sense of I Knew It whenever he did fail and to have a good reason to kick him out -to make Ponti become frustrated and to feel defeated as a way to take his anger and resentment out on him and to “ pay” for what he did. It was only when Ollie realized his mindsets he had for Ponti were setting both of them up for failure and decided that Ponti’s own personal redemption wasn’t based on his own expectations. They were finally able to open up to each other and connect when Ollie was like “ It is not up to me to measure you’re own personal growth, that is for only you to decide. I can only be there for you and try to help you throughout your change”. When Ollie saw Ponti in a different light of someone who is genuinely trying to right his wrongs in any way possible rather than a rat who still had evil intentions, he was able to be sympathetic and softer towards him. Which surprise! Was actually very fruitful for both of them. Ollie is (mainly subconsciously) resentful toward his mother for how he had to leave their tribe and how she couldn’t come with them and Ollie ending up living with Remy’s mom which caused a bunch of problems but yeah he never really addresses it to himself or even realizes but boi it’s there now imma stop on him cause i gotta talk abt other OCs but lORD hes got a lot 

Remy is very judgmental and tends to be a hypocrite in most cases. It’s dangerously easy for him to catch onto something he doesn’t like about someone and to let it fester in him until he full on dislikes said person hence why he can be so snarky with literally everyone. He can shut down easily and it’s difficult to get him out of his sulky funk which can make him tedious to hang out with sometimes (at least he thinks so, and referring to Ollie’s section im sure Ollie has gotten fed up with it and said some things he didn’t mean sometimes) He’s also deliberately mean and keeps people at a distance as a defense mechanism to prevent anyone from getting too close to him since he’s cripplingly terrified of vulnerability and getting attached to anyone and anything due to his childhood. From never really being included in the tribe in the first place and spending most of his days in a chicken coop ( when Ollie wasn’t dragging him out to explore or hunt) to the way they had to abruptly leave everyone and everything behind, he is left with a mentality that he is better off alone to keep from ‘feeling too much’ so in his mind if he’s mean to everyone they wont want to get to know him therefore ensuring his emotional safety. luckily Oscar is too stupid to get it :’) Im sure when Ollie got Remy his chicken for his bday Remy instinctively got mad at him bc he Really didn’t want to get attached to Caramel but spoiler alert he’s obsessed with them chickens now 

Kari is very socially skittish as in she needs a lot of reassurance if she’s invited anywhere. If she so much as picks up on any subtle body language or tone that someone might potentially not want her to come with she will not go at all and if she’s at an event and she gets the slightest impression that nobody really wants her there she will up and leave as well. Even if there is no actual indication that somebody doesn’t want her there and everyone is really just vibing she’ll still leave over the assumption. With the squad she’s mostly gotten over that habit but even then there may be some times where someone in the squad doesn’t sound as enthusiastic as they normally do and she will instantly jump to “o they’d rather me jump in the ocean with 1 ton of weights than hang out with me another second :’3c”  she is also terrified of confrontation so you’ll never really know when she’s gone or not. I’m sure she unknowingly stood Ollie up a couple times when they first started hanging out bc he’s so naturally monotone she probably assumed he thought she was annoying as hell sOOO many times 😭 but in reality Ollie would be big sad and alone waitin for her. Now if they were to meet up he will go to her house(or his house since she p much lives there mostly)  and be with her a lil bit while she gets ready so she doesn’t have to deal with the anxiety of meeting up but it’s still difficult to keep her around at events and hangouts due to her Backstory™  

Abio likes to know just about everything for knowledge sake but that also drives to him to be nosey at times and can stunt himself from overthinking in most cases. He may go down some rabbit holes bc he Has To Know for instance when he and Ponti were first getting acquainted, Abio could not understand why Ponti behaved the way he did and low key wanted to know more about his backstory. He wasn’t going to outright ask about it of course but it was a nagging thought and when Wig inevitably was introduced to Abby, having the utmost knowledge about Ponti’s life, Abby’s curiosity got the best of him and he found out Way Too Much about Ponti than he was ready to handle which caused them to have a little distant era since Abby was terrified of Ponti for a good while after that. That being said Abby intruded on Ponti’s life against his knowing which resulted in Ponti having to bring up parts of his life that he definitely was not ready to tell Abby yet. Also the whole thing with Abby trying to write down eeeverything he learns about skateboarding so much so that he ends up getting stuck and freezes up when he’s actually trying to skateboard bc he’s trying to remember everything he’s written down plUS with his eye powers and his ability to get into someones head, he has gone down some mental roads that he definitely should not have solely because he wants to know more. It’s like trying to play minecraft “for 10 minutes” and accidentally playing for 3 hours bc of all the rabbit trails that’s how it is for Abby when he’s in someones brain like im sure he’s Literally traumatized from the memories that he accidentally saw while in Ponti’s head so it took him a great amount of self control to be able to get in someones head and not wander 

AIGHT  thats all the ones ill do to keep it from getting too long idk if theres any specific character lemme know 😭

[theirtheretheyre]

Okay so I genuinely don't know much about like film development or... photography? Is that what you're doing? Anyways, I was wondering if you could explain to me how it works or sum when you have the time?

yea totally! so im in film photography class!

we have these old ass film cameras, and rolls of film. it’s a whole process, and i might not explain it well.

so basically after you take photos and fill a roll, you have to develop the negatives. you can either do this part in the darkroom, or we have these like bags you can do it in. you have to roll it onto a reel, and that reel goes into this container.

this is a really bad snapchat of the container you have to do it in, and the stuff for it! and the lil chart we have of it.

you then have to pour the chemicals into the canister, and shake it. you rinse it out after each chemical, and then put the reel in the water wash.

this is the poster we have on the wall in the room! you put 12 ounces of each chemical into the container for one reel, and 16 ounces if youre doing two reels at once

these are the chemicals! the developer is to actually develop the photos. the stop bath stops the developing, so they dont develop too much and just turn out black. the fixer takes off some of the chemicals and does some other stuff. the hypo clear makes the time you have to leave it in the water wash shorter. i dont have a picture of the water wash, but basically its just a lil container full of water that you put the reel in.

after that, you squeegee it to get most of the water off (we just use our hands lol). after that, you have a roll of developed negatives, that are clean and no longer light sensitive. you go and hang them up in a cabinet in the dark room overnight to fully dry. after that, you cut it into smaller strips, which you put into these plastic sheets, and you make a contact sheet out of those, which lets you see how the photos look without the negative.

this is just for developing the roll of your film, not even the prints. i can explain those too, if you want

@homosubtext i think you were asking a bit about how this is all done too?

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n tommy tubbo jack and ranboo - how y/n made friends with everyone

this is an extra to the great adventures series

requested: yes/no

warnings: cursing

tommy

you were actually friends with tommy when he was streaming to a few viewers, and you even watched as his channel grew. eventually he asked you to mod for him, as he knew he could trust you and because had experience being a twitch mod. he was also the reason you began streaming. as for how you met, you were in the same classes as him in highschool, and since you were the ‘quiet’ person in the class, they sat tommy next to you. honestly, you hated him when you first met him and the feeling was mutual. you didn’t want to sit next to the rather loud teenager and he had no one to talk to anymore as his friends were on the other side of the room.

“do you ever talk?”

“heh?”

“i said do you ever talk...do you always do that”

“do what”

“that fucking HeH.”

“are you mocking me simons?”

“noooo why would i do that...”

“it’s y/n.”

“right, yeah, yeah, i totally knew that.”

“great now please leave me alone i’m trying to work.”

“loser.”

“the fuck did you just say?”

“nothing.”

it was that moment tommy decided he was going to make you just like him, and a few years later that’s exactly what he did. by year 11 you and tommy had grown extremely close. the last day of school arrived a lot earlier than expected, everyone was extremely stressed, no one knew what to expect or what was going to happen. you found yourself hanging around with tommy a lot more as you had no idea if you would both be going to the same college, in september you received a text message that made your night:

tommy: college sent out emails telling you if you were accepted go check

*2 minutes later*

tommy: well?

y/n: i got accepted

tommy: me too

y/n: call me right now

tommy: i’m about to stream..have you ever considered streaming?

y/n: absolutely not

tommy: make an account and stream after me i’ll raid you..make me mod you know how people can be

once college started up, you were slightly nervous the two of you would drift away from each other. however this was far from the case, although you both did different subjects and he was only in on wednesdays, the pair of you would hang out together a lot more. he would be in your streams and vice versa, you would either be in his tiktoks, or you would be the one filming them.

“y/n make a tiktok we can be mutuals.”

“please god no.”

you spent so much time at his house either talking about random things, playing whatever game you could find, or streaming. he dragged you to every meet up he went on, allowing you to meet people such as niki, phil, and, wilbur. you didn’t know this, but he would constantly bring you up in conversations with dream, which eventually lead to you joining the smp in october where you would later be able to meet the likes of jack, technoblade and jschlatt. the only person you didn’t seem to see on the server was his other friend tubbo.

ranboo

you had become friends with scott after being his first twitch mod and when he noticed you started streaming, he was extremely supportive, always raiding your stream once he ended his. today you found yourself bickering with scott because he wouldn’t let you in mcc despite the fact you were ‘the best minecraft player.’

“y/n, i watched you die in minecraft 7 times last night within 5 minutes.”

“oh i’m sorry mr perfect, let me in mcc.”

“no.”

“fine i’ll make my own.”

and that’s exactly what you did..well you tried your best.

you started your stream as soon as scott ended and had him call you on discord after explaining to your chat what you were about to do.

“scott final chance let me in mcc, i’ll settle for access to the practice server.”

“fine.”

“REALLY?!”

“absolutely not!”

“fuck you, ill be in it one day!”

you left the call telling chat you didn’t need that negative energy in your life.

you really have scott to thank for you making friends with ranboo, scott made a tweet explaining what you were doing on stream which caught ranboos eye.

Smajor1995: after not making it into mcc again my good friend @y/n has decided to take it upon themselves to make their own on stream!! ill also be in the stream (if they answer my calls) *twitch link*

ranboo joined your stream and was instantly met with you yelling at scott (again) to let you in mcc.

“IM YOUR TWITCH MOD!”

“i will ban you from mcc!”

“you don’t have the nerve... so he left the call this is bullshit watch me land this water bucket clutch down this ravine so we can find axolotls and build an army.”

*you died*

you pulled your hood over your face before sinking down your chair taking a deep breath.

“FUCK!”

you calmly got back up and looked into your camera.

“i was so close, so very close.. HEY CHAT SCOTT SENT ME A LINK TO THE SERVER!”

a few minutes later you were able to get onto the server, only to be kicked less than a minute later. the reason you were banned being ‘i watched you fail the water bucket clutch down a ravine.’

you continued your build on your server and just spent the rest of the stream talking about anything that crossed your mind, that was until you decided to copy ace race. once finished, you looked into your camera and pulled your microphone closer to you.

“so this is race ace, so scott doesn’t sue me, and basically it’s going to be this course, but i’m going to change a random section practice it every day, not tell anyone it changed. of course i’m going to tell my team we have to win, oh fuck i forgot scott was watching my stream..it’s okay he didn’t hear me he’s too busy planning how he can rig the next mcc.”

ranboo found himself enjoying your content and even noticed you in his chat multiple times.

“just a minute chat i’m just sending an important dm to my mods.”

that’s when you noticed chat paused for a minute after you sent a message, it confused you for a minute before realising ranboo made you a vip on his channel and you decided to do the same for him on your channel, from there you added each other on discord. the pair of you made friends extremely quickly, you were constantly part of his streams as you would call him on discord not realising that he was streaming.

“hi y/n, by the way i’m streaming”

“i just wanted to ask if you knew how to break into a house?”

“....why”

“i locked myself out by accident and my parents are asleep come help me.”

“you are in the uk.”

“okay? catch a flight.”

chat honestly loved you and your friendship with ranboo. the pair of you only met a few weeks ago and you were already acting as though you had known each other for years.

jack

you and jack met for the first time on the smp, which would have been fine, however you met during lore and your characters weren’t exactly the best of friends. once lore had ended, everyone said their goodbyes and left the call. a few moments later you received a discord message from jack asking if you were available to call any time soon. since you were back in lockdown, you had plenty of free time. you arranged a time and date a few days later you called jack, where you had your first proper interaction out of character.

“hello jack!!”

“oh hi y/n i just thought it may be a good idea to get to know each other, well you know considering we’re both on the dream smp.”

“yeah, yeah, i understand what you mean.”

the pair of you ended up getting along with each other, it was slightly awkward for the first 5 minutes of the call, but that was expected since you hadn’t really met jack before and were anxious to call him. however, after that the conversation started to flow and you found out the pair of you had a lot in common making it easy to come up with things to talk about. it ended up feeling as though you were catching up with a friend you hadn’t spoken to for a while.

“has anyone told you your accent is really strong.”

“so is yours, y/n, what the fuck is that supposed to mean.”

“it means your accent is strong, duh.”

jack asked if you’d like to stay in call and join him on the smp whilst he streamed, and you gladly accepted the offer as you really didn’t want to do your college work, and you were enjoying your time with him. a few minutes into the stream jack had killed you several times.

“JACK STOP KILLING ME!”

rather than answering you he just sat laughing. he then went on to attempt to mute him microphone, he failed. however he didn’t realise this, so you sat listening to his plan on how he was going to kill you again. this time you were prepared, you sent a message to tommy telling him to log on along with your location. few minutes later tommy was by your side and helped you kill jack several times for revenge.

“Y/N...TOMMY!!”

“you didn’t mute your mic, so i told tommy you were bullying me.”

“im gonna go...BYE JACK, BYE Y/N, ILL SEE YOU SOON!”

“i can’t believe you.”

“hey you’re the one who didn’t turn your mic off.”

“how did you know?”

“i had your stream on my other monitor.”

“ayeee you watch my streams?”

“...i’ve been a sub for 4 months.”

the two of you stayed chatting and playing for another hour. the pair of you were already so close and you had only met each other the other day. this was just the start of your friendship, soon enough you were in a laugh and the stream ends challenge on his stream, however due to lockdown rules this was done over discord leading to you accidentally leaving the call several times.

“and they’re gone again!”

*4 minutes later*

“SORRY JACK IM BACK!”

“stop leaving y/n!”

“oh i’m sorry, let me just go yell at my wifi to stop cutting out!”

a few seconds later you could be heard faintly in the background screaming at your wifi as it would continue to buffer. as soon as restrictions were over one of the first things you decided to do was go to jacks and stream a laugh you lose where there was a punishment if you were responsible for losing the last heart. however everything was apparently hilarious in person as you would constantly laugh, meaning you were responsible for losing the last heart.

“y/n give me your phone.”

“no.”

“you lost let me tweet from your account”

“fine..”

soon enough your fans and friends with your notifications on received this twitter notification

“y/n: jack is so cool and funny he is also really tall i am not”

tubbo

tubbo was actually the last person you met and made friends with, your community were convinced for some reason that you both didn’t like each other and that’s why the pair of you didn’t talk to each other. this was far from the case you were both waiting for the right time, tubbo was an extremely busy teenager and you didn’t want to interrupt him, and tubbo knew you were currently in a stressful position since you had recently joined the dream smp, also you were still meeting people so he didn’t want to stress you out. this doesn’t mean he didn’t want to be your friend, he actually asked tommy since he had been your friend for at least 4 years what would be the best way of getting to know you.

“mate they hated me when we first met, just talk to them or something. you could have met them the last time i went up to visit you, but they ended up not feeling too good and went back to the hotel room.”

“when are you next coming up?”

“how about next week, and i’ll bring y/n, i really don’t understand why you’re nervous tubbo, it’s y/n they wouldn’t hurt a fly..well hmm.”

“see you next week then!”

a week later tommy dragged you to the train station.

“uh tommy where are we going?”

“...on a train.”

“no way, really? oh my god!”

a few hours later you finally got off the train.

“ill go with my dad to check into the hotel room, do you want to come with us or?”

“i think i’ll go for a walk and stretch my legs.”

“right okay, meet you at the beach later”

you spent a few minutes walking around the beach picking up any rocks and shells that caught your eye, little did you know it would result in you meeting tubbo. once you finished putting your new collection in your pockets you noticed a small crowd of people walk up to someone asking for pictures assuming it was tommy you walked over to the boy, it wasn’t tommy it was in fact tubbo. at first you stayed silent not wanting to really cause attention to yourself. you only spoke up when some people started to make inappropriate comments towards him.

“oh sorry to be a pain guys me and tubbo have plans with tommy in a few minutes, we should go so we’re not late. bye guys.”

you smiled and waved as they walked away. you looked over to tubbo, you could tell he was still pretty anxious about what just happened and honestly if you was in his position, you would react the same way.

“we should probably move from here incase they come back and see you’re still here, are you okay?”

“im feeling better now it’s over..thank you”

“oh it’s no problem i’m, y/n btw.”

“wait you and tommy were still meant to be on the train.”

“the train was actually on time, tommy went to check into the hotel i wanted to stretch my legs, i also wanted to collect some rocks.”

“did you collect enough or did you want more?”

“im not going to say no if you wanna go collect some with me.”

the pair of you walked around keeping each other close incase the people from before returned. half an hour later, the pair of you sat on a bench close to the beach so you could show tubbo everything you decided to pick up, he ended up keeping a rock he liked to have as a memory. tubbo wrapped an arm around you as it was getting cold whilst you watched the sunset.

“tubbo i think tommy forgot about me.”

“you can spend the night at mine, i’ll send him a message to let him know.”

“are you sure?”

“of course!”

“this has to be the most unsafe thing either of us will ever do, we hardly know each other and now i’m staying at yours.”

tommy sent you a message explaining that he didn’t forget, there was a problem at the other hotel and they had to go find another one, but you’ll be fine to stay at tubbos for the night. the pair of you spent the entire night learning as much as you can about the other person. it had only been an evening but you already knew the pair of you would be great friends.

taglist:

@dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @c1loudee

[softxsuki]

urgent request!! hi i hope this is ok for me to request but i feel like self harming and im in a very bad state rn so could you write platonic dabi or shigaraki comforting a teen fem reader when she comes up to them and says she feels like self harming? thanks!

Dabi Comforting Reader Who Feels Like Self-Harming

Pairing: Dabi x Fem!Reader (platonic)

Warnings: TW--Mentioning of self harm, reader expressing her want to harm herself, some depressing talk, mild language (like twice)

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Oneshot

Word Count: 1.2k

Summary: In which you show up at Dabi's apartment and confess that you want to hurt yourself. You ask him to help you and he tries his best to comfort you in your time of need.

[A/N: Hello anon. I hope I was quick enough in writing this for you! It was hard getting away from my chores .-. Hopefully this is able to help bring you any form of comfort. I don't write for Dabi, so apologies if I portray him weirdly. I enjoyed writing for him though, so I might add him to my list of characters that I write for, hmm. Anyway, my dm's are open if you need anything or need someone to listen. It's tough, trust me I was there in high school going through the same urges. Thankfully, many years later I'm no longer in that mindset, so you can definitely get through this. Don't be so hard on yourself though, heal at your own pace and one day you'll find yourself in a different mindset. Enjoy <3]

Shaky hands lift to the door, knocking desperately on the chipped painted wood repeatedly until you hear heavy footsteps approach from the other side.

The door rushes open as Dabi appears before you with a scowl on his face, ready to yell at whoever was behind the insistent knocking. Seeing you in front of him though, his resolve crumbles and his expression returns to normal.

“What do you want, brat?” he sighs rolling his eyes, then looks you over, noticing the school bag hanging over your shoulder, “Shouldn’t you be in school?”

You ignore his questions and scoot past him, into his apartment, throwing your bag onto his couch as you plop down right next to it.

“Wow, yes hello, nice to see you too Y/N. Are you gonna-” he starts, but stops as soon as he sees your panicked expression and he’s immediately in big brother mode as he closes the door and makes his way to stand in front of you, “What happened?”

“Please stop me Toya, I don’t want to hurt myself,” you finally confess, tears threatening to spill from your wavering eyes.

He forces his tongue back at the use of his real name, much preferring when you called him Dabi, but your words shock him enough to ignore it.

“Hurt yourself? Y/N what’s going on?”

“I don’t know how else to deal with my emotions other than taking it out on myself, but I really don’t want to because I know I’ll regret it once I’m done, so please stop me! Distract me! Something! Anything!” you scream out at him, desperate to not feel so helpless and horrible inside.

His eyes widen and his mouth falls slightly agape, but he quickly collects himself and takes a seat beside you on the couch.

“Oi, look at me,” he finally says after a few moments of silence as you fidget with your hands in your lap.

You refuse to look up at him, hating the way that you felt like you had to rely on your friend in a moment like this when you so desperately wished you could help yourself.

He sighs but continues to speak anyway, “Look, I’m not the greatest at this kinda...stuff. Y’know, comforting people or whatever, but you’re not people, you’re like my little sister, my friend or whatever, so I’ll try my best,” he pauses and sighs while rubbing his face. “I don’t know what it is that you’re going through, and you don’t have to tell me, but this ain’t the way to deal with your emotions.”

“Easier said than done. My whole body is screaming at me to hurt myself. So I can feel something, punish myself, or just get these negative emotions out from inside me, I don’t really know,” you try to explain, still fighting the nagging voice in your head that was telling you to do these horrible things.

“You’re killing me here,” he mumbles, trying to rack his brain for words that would hopefully bring you some sort of comfort.

He wasn’t used to being positive and up-lifting. Your friendship consisted of bickering, but at the end of the day, he was there for you just like you were there for him, so he needed to do something for you now when you needed him the most.

You patiently sit beside him, waiting for him to speak again, though now that you were in his presence, the urge to harm yourself was slowly dissipating.

“All right,” he turns to you, making direct eye contact with you as you were already looking at him, “I know things are rough and you’re feeling shitty. Again, I don’t know your entire situation, but I’ll be ready to listen whenever you’re comfortable enough to share.”

He clears his throat, wanting to look away, but feeling like it might be better to maintain eye contact so you know that he cares.

“Just please know that I’m here for you, all right? I’ll be damned if you think I’ll let you lay a hand on yourself while you’re here, so get comfy. You’re not leaving until I’m sure you’re feeling better,” he awkwardly looks away from you, shuffling uncomfortably on the couch.

You give him a small smile, knowing that this was hard for him, but grateful that you had a friend like him who genuinely cared for you. Though the urge to harm yourself was slowly being forgotten for the moment, the negative feelings from the day still lingered, but you knew it would be okay as long as you remained by his side.

“I have left over pizza in the fridge, want some?” He asks you, trying to ease the tension in the room and act like things were still normal; the last thing he wanted was to treat you like a psych ward patient or like you were about to crumble in his hands.

“Mm, yeah. Sounds good, thanks Toya,” you hum, thanking him not only for the pizza, but secretly for his kind words that you honestly didn’t expect from him; You merely expected him to yell at you or criticize you for threatening to harm yourself, so it was a nice surprise.

“Yeah, whatever,” he gets up to head towards his small kitchen so he can heat up the pizza for you, but stops after taking a few steps and turns around to you again. “This conversation isn’t over though. Once you’re feeling better we really need to talk about this so I know how to help you, moving forward. And maybe talk about what YOU’D like to do to help yourself too... if that’s okay.”

You sigh, knowing that you’d have to talk about it eventually, but you smile slightly as he eased back a little at the end of his statement, giving you more freedom to choose to help yourself rather than forcibly receive it.

“I know,” you sigh, nervous at the thought of having to speak about things that were on your mind or going on in your life.

He notices your blank, far-off stare and walks back over to you, ruffling your hair a bit as his hand sits at the crown of your head.

“You’re gonna be alright. Don’t overthink it,” he reassures you, and with one last ruffle to your hair, he disappears into the kitchen.

It was reassuring knowing that Dabi was watching out for you in a way that you knew your other friends couldn’t.

Dabi was cold, and refused to show care for the people in his life most of the time, but in the rare case when he did show his caring side, you knew it was genuine. For once, you looked forward to a day when you wouldn’t be trapped in your negative thoughts with no way out aside from harming yourself. One day you’d be able to cope with your feelings in a more productive way, you were sure of it. But you knew it wouldn’t happen over-night. Many difficult days lie ahead, but you knew you’d have to face them, and now that Dabi knew that was going on in your head, maybe it would make things a little easier.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 11/21/2021

[melancholyshadow]

Hi im not sure if your request are open but can i request something where andy is dating a woman who is around jacob's age (22 or something). What would Jacob's reaction be like?

It's totally okay if not!! Love your work❤

an adjustment || a. barber

summary: you and andy have quite the age gap, and you aren't entirely sure if jacob is cool with that.

word count: 1325

warning: age gap between reader and andy (reader is in her twenties and andy is in his forties)

an: my first request woohoo! enjoy! i hope this is okay anon! not edited.

“He’s going to hate me.”

You huffed, collapsing onto the couch with your face buried into one of the pillows. The cushion beside you dipped, and a hand landed on your back and started rubbing it in small circles. “He’s not going to hate you, it’s impossible to hate you.” Andy encouraged, with a soft pat on your back. Peeking up at him from the pillow, he smiled.

“I would absolutely hate it if my dad started dating someone my age, in fact, I would think it was gross.” Finally you sat up, hands in your lap and head hanging low. One of Andy’s fingers tucked itself under your chin, forcing your head upward, eyes connecting immediately. “I raised him well. He’ll understand it’ll just take some adjustment, but I assure you everything will be fine.” You wanted to believe him, but that was easier said than done. But you put yourself in Jacob’s shoes, and you wouldn’t have liked this situation one bit.

Jacob was freshly eighteen, a freshman in college, he actually attended the same university you did. You were actually only four years older than him, which in the grand scheme of time was miniscule. Not only was your age an issue, but you were already sure Jacob resented you because of the divorce. While you had no part in the divorce situation, you actually met Andy a year after it had been finalized, you never wanted Jacob to think you were trying to replace his mother.

Andy and you met a semester into your first year at law school, he was one of your professors. And that was about a year ago now, you were well into your second year now. The feelings were clearly there from day one, but Andy refused to make a move on you until you had left his class. It made him feel better, since at that point you were no longer one of his students. The two of you had your first date about three months ago, and had been keeping it a secret from anybody and everybody, and this included Jacob.

You had met Jacob before, briefly, when he would come visit his dad on occasion for lunch, but nothing more than a simple ‘hello,’ and you hadn’t seen him since the two of you started dating. As your mind flooded with all the negative possibilities that could happen over the next two hours, you were pulled from your thoughts by a loud ringing noise. It was the doorbell.

A look of dread filled your face, and it was hard for Andy not to notice. As one last peptalk, he cupped your cheeks in his calloused hands, forcing your face closer to his. “Everything is going to be just fine.” Insisting one last time, and punctuating it with a kiss on your lips. His hands fell, and you stood from the sofa, patting and straightening out your dress.

As Andy pulled the door open, you watched his face light up at the site of his son. You knew how much Andy cared for his son, and the immense amount of love he had towards him. It made you desire to have kids with him only to grow, but that was a conversation for another day, you already had enough on your plate. “Hey, bud.” He pulled Jacob in for a hug, before motioning for him to come into his home. Jacob’s eyes landed on you as soon as he stepped past the threshold and into the foyer.

“Hello Jacob I’m (Y/F/N), it’s nice to meet you.” You outstretched your hand, and plastered the biggest smile you could conjure onto your face. “Hey.” He said flatly, shaking your hand limply. Which was an instant shot to your heart. He already hated you and you hadn’t even made it past the introductions. Andy ushered the two of you into the kitchen, and the smell of your cooking filled the room.

“Whatever you’re cooking smells amazing.” Jacob said, taking a seat on one of the bar stools. A compliment, wow. “Well thanks, I appreciate it.” You smiled. Andy and his son talked back and forth for a while at the bar, and you happily sat and listened to them. “Are you in school?” Jacob asked you, out of nowhere. “I am, I’m in law school, actually.” You confessed, instantly starting to pick at the skin around your fingernails.

“That’s how you two met, I’m assuming. I think I’ve seen you in one of dad’s classes before.” You nodded your head, as did Andy. “I know you’re in college, have you decided on a major yet?” You could tell he got asked that question a lot, and you instantly regretted asking him that. But answered it anyway, “Not yet, I’m really interested in Political Science, so I’m taking a few intro classes.” He explained.

“Political Science, really?” That topic excited you, “I actually double majored in Pre-Law and Political Science. Do you have Dr. Taylor this semester?” When you mentioned Dr. Taylor, he perked up immediately. “I do actually, is he any good?” You let out a small laugh, “He is amazing, one of my favorite professors, we stay in contact to this day.” It hadn’t been that long since you were his student, only about two years, but you weren't going to admit that. The two of you actually got into a good conversation about Poli Sci, and he seemed genuinely interested in what you had to say. This made your confidence slowly grow.

Lunch came around and the tension seemed to slowly be lifting, and Jacob wasn’t as shut off with you as you anticipated. He wasn’t overly talkative, but Andy mentioned he had always been that way with new people. After the university talk came to an end, Jacob asked the dreaded question you all knew was coming, “So, are you guys, like, dating, officially?” The answer seemed obvious in the current context, but confirming it to Jacob still gave you anxiety. “Yes, we are.” Andy answered, because all the air seemed to have left your lungs.

He nodded slowly, picking up a piece of food with his fork. “Well, I’m happy for you dad, and you too, (Y/F/N).” It felt like a singular brick had been taken off your shoulders, giving you a small bit of relief, but you knew this wasn’t going to be the end of all this awkwardness. Now that the eight hundred pound elephant has left the room, regular conversation moved on easier. Jacob stayed until around four, he had to meet one of his friends for dinner.

The three of you said your goodbyes, Andy saying bye to his son first, before the sound of his phone ringing pulled him away. This left just you and Jacob in the foyer, and without thinking you began to word vomit. “Listen, I know this is a weird situation to put you in, since you and I are around the same age. And I know there are a lot of other factors in this situation, and I just want to say I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, but I am definitely willing to put in the work to make this transition as easy as possible for all of us.” Jacob just stood there for awhile, not saying anything, making you feel stupid. But then he finally spoke,

“It will definitely be an adjustment, and if I’m being honest, it has nothing to do with your age, I couldn’t care less about that. You’ll keep my dad young and on his toes, so I appreciate that. It’s just gonna take some time for me to get used to seeing my dad with another woman, that’s all.” He confessed with a shrug.

“But for now, all that matters is that you make my dad unbelievably happy and that’s all I can ask for.

[weirdmageddon]

five years too late let’s analyze this. the commentary has gotten me back into gravity falls reigniting thoughts and insights i came to years ago

i love everything about this commentary in general it hits the points of humor, genuine analysis of the characters, but most of all im so glad hirsch addressed that the droid not detecting any fear from dipper here doesnt make any scientific sense because that was a massive CinemaSins moment for me

IDK the fact that dipper can fucking stand after an airship crash because theres a bigger threat at hand is literally one of the defining capabilities owed to adrenaline lol...... IM SORRY im a biopsychology student if i dont point that out iwill seethe and die because that was just . its a grudge ive held for a long time about this episode but didnt rant about because it was something so minor and i’m sure nobody would care.

i was 13 when this episode came out and i’m almost 19 now, i had a special interest in biology and i still do but now i’m actually having college classes in biopsychology so i can give my arguments more oomph now. and i have to say, now that i know more about the brain and autonomic nervous system the more this scene bugs me, if that was even possible. and it says a lot of dipper and ford’s relationship.

if dipper clearly wasnt calm before, why would he be now just because he’s put up an outwardly confident facade? before he was in the flight but now hes in the fight. my boy just rode on top of a spaceship by nothing but a magnet gun that could detach at any time if it failed and then the ship crashed, he sustained injuries, is in emotional turmoil because he thinks his uncle is Fucking Dead and the threat of a security droid that detects adrenaline is on his tail and produces a Big Fucking Gun in response to dipper saying “i hAvE a MaGNeT gUn” and hes screaming and has his teeth clenched but sure there’s no adrenaline coursing through his body in that moment i can totally believe that

when dipper asks what happened, ford says “the orb didn’t detect any chemical signs of fear, it assumed the threat was neutralized and self-disassembled” but i don’t think measuring someone’s heartbeat alone is particularly relevant in detecting ... chemical signs of fear?? they dont really tell you this shit but noradrenaline (and maybe adrenaline too if the acetylcholine from sympathetic outflow always activates the adrenal medulla??, theres two pathways) is always active in small quantities to make sure your parasympathetic nervous system doesnt slow your heart to dangerous levels on its own, regardless of your emotions. it’s just a homeostatic mechanism. your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems are CONSTANTLY modulating control of your organs on a see-saw, literally with every breath you take. simply standing upright causes specialized mechanoreceptor neurons in blood vessels to signal your brain to project signals to release catecholamines via the sympathetic nervous system to constrict your blood vessels so that blood is able to reach your brain and not pool in your legs. i have a deficiency in my body’s ability to adapt to this which is why i know so much about it. if i stand up my heart races to compensate. i’m not feeling fear, my body is just adjusting—albeit grossly and incompetently lol.

but what im saying here is that the security system is flawed. it’s a cool idea to have security droids detect fear, but in practice by detecting adrenaline, and not even directly by detecting the molecule itself—it’s done in a roundabout way by reading the heartbeat, could be a recipe for false alarms. like what if someone’s on beta-blockers. that’s not really an adequate way to measure “fear”; there’s so many variables that could interfere with the measurement the farther you abstract from what you’re really trying to detect. and besides, adrenaline is NOT just a sign of fear, it’s just for preparing the body for action. i know the sympathetic nervous system and adrenaline is constantly linked with the “fight-or-flight” reaponse to a stressor, but 99.9% of the time the sympathetic nervous system is used in your life is to balance out your parasympathetic nervous system to maintain homeostatic equilibrium for mundane things.

i think detecting amygdalar activation would be more efficient in detecting fear. the amygdala sends projections to the hypothalamus which then in turn modulates the autonomic nervous systems. but the amygdala is intensely activated specifically in response to a fear-inducing stimulus (it does activate in response to other emotions but they’re mostly negative and is most activated by startle and fear), and wouldnt be highly activated by many other confounding variables like measurement of the heartbeat could be. the amygala is one of the first stops directly from external stimuli.

to show you how integrated the amygdala is as the first step in registering fear after receiving input from sensory stimuli let’s look at the auditory-amygdala connection for example

see how the auditory thalamus projects to the primary auditory cortex and auditory association cortex? the cortex is where conscious awareness of what the stimuli is comes from. this is the “high road”. it goes sensing -> perception -> emotional response. but sometimes you can be startled without even processing what it is you’re sensing, like the startle response of an alarm or a phone ringing in a quiet house before you even register what it is. this goes sensing -> emotional response, without perception happening until after you’ve already felt the startle. that’s when it takes the “low road”. here’s a simplified version:

even if that were the case with these droids though it’s obvious dipper is still fearful on some level here. his body language, voice, expressions all give it away. for the amygdala, aggression isnt too off from fear so it would be detected equally.

the reason this is so important is because ford uses this as evidence for why dipper is special, “i did it?” “you did it. this is what i was talking about, how many 12 year olds do you think are capable of doing what you’ve just done?”

but like....did he really? i’m not saying this to shoot dipper down or make him out to be more of a wuss, he was incredibly strong-willed here and i dont want to take that away from him because it WAS growth on his part. but the underlying psychophysiological reactions of aggression and fear shouldn’t be that different and this was a total asspull. maybe the droid was so old that it fucked up. maybe dipper being covered in grime and dirt made it harder for the droid to measure the correct heart rate through photoplethysmography (im assuming since they use a camera and are non-contact).

and in all honesty everything i just said brings into question the interpersonal healthiness of ford’s judgements, what he thinks, his expectations, and how he communicates that. in this video alex already talks about how ford is projecting onto dipper. and i think ford may be projecting his expectations for himself onto people who are not him, and the fact that it’s on dipper here makes it far more unfortunate. you realize how much this boy idolizes ford, right? how much impressions matter? dipper even tells himself before he leaves in this same episode, “all right dipper, this is your first big mission with great uncle ford. don’t mess this up.”

even though it’s unstated, the implicit message dipper is perceiving from ford based on their dynamic is: “do you have what it takes for me to be proud of you?” and to accomplish this he must be like ford, even though he’s clearly not and he knows this. he says “i don’t think have what it takes. i was tricked by bill, i was wrong about stan’s portal, heck, i can’t even operate this magnet gun right.” then, by simple chance without even knowing what he did, he activates the magnet gun and pulls out the adhesive, which immediately takes the focus away from what dipper was telling ford about his feelings of inadequacy to ford saying, “yes! dipper, you found the adhesive!”

these thoughts of dipper’s hang in the air without resolve or comment from ford. we don’t know what ford would have said. but it then becomes painfully self-evident in the scene immediately after when the droids emerge and ford tells dipper, “they’re security droids and they detect adrenaline. you simply have to not feel any fear and they won’t see you”, to which dipper replies with an exasperated (and rightful) “WHAT?”

dipper goes in a panic trying to indirectly tell his uncle that this isn’t something he can do. and he is completely right and valid to be freaked out by that full stop. that IS crazy. you can’t control your fear. you can control how you interpret that fear in your higher brain regions but the physiological changes will stick around for longer than it takes to cognitively calm down. it’s easy for me to detach from my emotions to analyze them, but being able to do this does not come naturally for everyone. even i have an irrational fear of wasps and i can’t control it by detaching myself, my body is just automatically primed to get the fuck out of there. i know it’s stupid and i know it’s irrational and isn’t helpful to get myself worked up but i literally can’t stop how my body reacts no matter how i cognitively think about it. expecting composure from dipper in a situation like this when he’s being made to consciously be aware of his anxiety is absolutely fucking insane. look what you did, placing these cruel expectations on him, now he’s afraid of being afraid! this isn’t a case where two wrongs cancel out, they just stack on top of each other.

there’s a good reason these scenes were put side by side but it seems up until now it had remained unanalyzed.

what dipper fears from ford is disappointment. not living up to his uncle’s (quite frankly badly placed) expectations for a twelve year old with anxiety. not once did ford say or subliminally communicate “i don’t expect you to be able to do what i can since you are not as experienced as i am and that’s perfectly okay, no judgements”. you don’t put a child on bike before training wheels. you don’t throw a kid into a swimming pool without giving them swimming lessons. the way ford is doing it, there’s no room for trial and error or mistakes that are an opportunity to grow and learn; instead, it’s life or death. he only seems to pride dipper on what he can do while ignoring the underlying struggles that plague him and never making it known it’s okay for dipper to fail in front of his hero and that he won’t think anything less of him for it.

and that’s why i found the ending scene for dipper and ford’s adventure in this episode to feel so.. wrong. on a scientific and social level. because by the sound of it ford focused more on what dipper had done to dismantle the droid (the droid not detecting any fear) instead of how dipper displayed love and protection for him even if he was truly afraid. what if the science was accurate and the droid detected adrenaline while dipper was confidently standing up for his uncle. would ford still be proud of him regardless?

[free-pool-trash]

happiness - peter maximoff

yay a new peter fic <3 i was feeling a little unmotivated for a few days (since our boy wasn’t in episode 8 at all :/) but im back 😎 although im back in school so i might be on and off for a while 😩✋🏻

!!!it’s not a songfic those lyrics at the start are just my inspo!!!

word count: 5k <3 😳

warnings: maybe swearing but i dont think so i cant remember, peter being sad, angst, but mostly fluff, WandaVision spoilers maybe??? I pretty much made up this plot so idk, endgame spoilers, reader was an avenger, kissing but it’s not graphic😽 probably some mistakes yk how it is

feedback is appreciated <3

tagging: @enchantedcruelsummer (should i make a peter maximoff taglist? let me know and I’ll do it)

masterlist

haunted by the look in my eyes that would’ve loved you for a lifetime

leave it all behind

& there is happiness

Loneliness had always been something that plagued him. That and a plethora of other negative emotions.

There wasn’t a day that went by where Peter Maximoff wasn’t made to feel like a loser. Admittedly, he’d never held himself to a high standard, he grew up thinking that he’d never fit in anywhere and eventually that thought mutated into a lifestyle as he began isolating himself from the world around him, either far too good or heartbreakingly not enough to be a part of that crowd.

He liked spending time with himself. Nobody else knew him the way he knew him, and still, he found nothing but an overwhelming hollow space where his deepest most important hopes, aspirations, dreams and self discoveries should have resided.

Peter had always put this feeling of exile down to the fact that he was a mutant, it was the most likely explanation, right?

It was only when he’d decided to join the X-Men that he finally came to the conclusion that maybe the rest of the world wasn’t the problem, nor was his mutation the problem, but that he himself was the problem. For even in a school full of people exactly like him he was still the same loser that he was in his mother’s basement.

And he was under no illusions that that was exactly what his teammates saw in him; nothing. No potential. Just a space holder to bring the numbers up.

Super speed was incredible. That’s how Peter acknowledged jobs well done, he praised his speed but never himself. He just saved Charles and Erik from a room full of armed guards? No that wasn’t him, that was simply his speed. He saved an entire mansion full of people from a potentially fatal explosion? Nothing special, Kurt probably could’ve done the same.

Forget all of the good deeds and saved lives because the bottom line of it all, to him at least, was that all he was good for was cheeky one liners and hopeless kleptomania.

His life took a turn for the worse when he found himself being mind controlled in an alternate universe. And even then, he was playing the part of someone that wasn’t him, the thought humbled him, reconnected him to his roots and reintroduced him to his life long philosophy that he’d never be anything more than a social pariah. Not even an alternate reality could accept him for who he was. There wasn’t a warm welcome and despite not knowing what was going on, the definition of “imposter” or the weirder, “recast”, still shot to kill.

He settled on the notion that he was an inter dimensional waste of space. At least in WestView he could be blissfully ignorant, let the real him be drowned mercilessly in favour of being an integral part of someone’s life- to feel important, even if it wasn’t real.

When WestView fell apart he was completely lost. In every sense of the word. In a new world with no way home and as it turned out, nobody was looking for him. Although he didn’t expect anyone to care, it still stung that nobody did. He always hoped that one day Erik would step up as a father figure for him, this; getting kidnapped and smuggled into a different dimension, seemed like the perfect moment for that epic father son moment, but it wouldn’t surprise Peter if his father has yet to notice his disappearance.

But then, seemingly out of nowhere, he came into contact with a beacon of hope. A guiding star that might possibly lead him to an existence consisting of something other than misery and self loathing.

It offered him a choice; return to being the self proclaimed loser he was known as or start fresh as someone new and mysterious, with first impressions yet to be made and conclusions about him yet to be drawn. Peter had known himself to be rash in the past, when it came to making decisions he had the tendency to act impulsively, never putting too much thought into how his decisions would affect his life in the long term. The choice before him now is no different, he knew exactly what he wanted going forward, however selfish the choice may have been, the second he realised it was an option his heart was set on it.

That previously mentioned beacon of hope arrived to him in the form of a girl, in the form of you. An ex-avenger and close friend of Wanda’s, you were hired by S.W.O.R.D to help them clean up the more ‘sensitive’ fallout that the fall of WestView brought about. Obviously, they were sticking you- the only other avenger with magik- on babysitting and rehabilitation rather than letting you go after your best friend who had gone completely off the rails. Having said that though, you didn’t want anyone else handling him.

You hadn’t watched WandaVision, nor were you even aware that any of it was going on until it had reached a boiling point and you got a call from Monica Rambeau, she’d begged you to come and wait on the edge of town while she went in and act as her eyes on the outside along with Jimmy Woo.

That’s where you stayed until the hex broke down.

As soon as the barrier came down the base you manned was overrun by an armada of terribly confused and distressed citizens, Monica and Wanda were not among them but in their places stumbled in Darcy and the man playing the role of Pietro.

Jimmy appointed himself to Darcy, who in all honesty seemed relatively unscathed by the situation while you made a beeline for the dirty blonde charading as your former, dead teammate.

Peter was, to put it simply, completely enthralled by you as soon as you’d strolled over to him and in the moment he’d put his almost magnetic attraction to you down to the fact that you were the first friendly face he’d seen upon breaking free of Agatha’s possession.

But one thing in particular struck him; you’d asked him his name. You hadn’t immediately assumed him to be some knock off Pietro, as everyone else had. You acknowledged that he had his own personal identity and despite how often he caught himself hating the person he was, he found that when it was torn away from him that he wanted it back. The simple question you posed gave him the opportunity to regain his identity.

“Peter. My name is Peter.” He answered you, almost unsure of himself and you found your interest in the man piqued even further.

He remembered with perfect clarity the way you’d offered him a grin, tilted your hand, extended your hand and said, “Well it’s nice to meet you, Peter. Come on, I’ll be your babysitter for the next while.” There was something about the way you’d laughed after saying the words and the slight, yet unmistakable, glint of mischief in your eyes that had him captivated from the get go.

With you came a whirlwind of new emotions. After only a few weeks of knowing you, Peter noticed he wasn’t as lonely as he had been back home. He didn’t hate himself half as much either, he wasn’t entirely free of self deprovative tendencies and maybe he never would be, but undoubtedly, he likes himself more in this world than he ever had in his last. He thanked you and your determination to make him “a functioning member of society” for that.

It didn’t feel belittling, the way you helped him. You hadn’t dragged him to your favourite mall every weekend just to taunt him about how he couldn’t stop himself from stealing something. Even the very first time, when he’d sped away from you and returned within a second adoring a pair of freshly stolen sunglasses. Your only reaction had been to laugh and casually place your hands on both sides of his face.

“At least remember to take the tag off next time, speedy.” You’d muttered, subtly pulling the tacky stickers off the arms of his shades. No, you weren’t dragging him sight seeing or forcing him to help you go clothes shopping because you thought he was a loser who needed reforming you were doing it because you were a true friend who wanted him to succeed.

The pair of you seemed like two peas in a pod. Which to be fair, you were. Peter Maximoff intrigued you in every sense of the word. He was new, quite literally other worldly, he was kind, he was funny, he was perfectly mischievous and completely wonderful.

What caught your eye the most was the way he held himself, as if he wasn’t entirely comfortable in his own skin. It became apparent to you that he lacked confidence with the phrases he usually tacked onto the ends of his sentences. When you’d invite him to hang out in the beginning his response would always be something along the lines of, “Sure. If you want me to.” But the excitable puppy dog eyes told you that he was dying for someone to want him to tag along some place.

There was a certain understanding between you. You were both more than accustomed with the harrowing feeling of being alone and even though you’d never exactly voiced those thoughts with each other, you couldn’t deny that his was a spirit kindred to your own and he felt it too.

Since the Avengers has disbanded, one of your best friends, Natasha, was dead and your other best friend, Wanda, was gone completely off the rails and the people chasing her wouldn’t let you anywhere near her or even attempt to help pull her out of her darkness. You were being kept as a wildcard in case they needed her taken down. Peter was no stranger to the feeling of being cast aside and so he quickly responded to your frustrations, and in doing so, forced himself out of his comfort zone to be there for you. To his complete shock though, you’d been so appreciative of his efforts.

You never failed to thank him for the little things he did for you, always complimenting his mutation when he’d use it and giving him the recognition he never received at home. The friendship he formed with you was so… two sided, again, something he wasn’t accustomed to before. It didn’t involve him giving everything he had to offer and receiving nothing in return, you matched his energy meticulously and never left him hanging.

In a series of firsts, he didn’t wonder whether or not you genuinely liked him, never feeling the need or want to question it as you’d left him with no reason to doubt.

As he walked around the mall with you now, his mind brought his attention back to the question you’d asked him rather casually a few nights ago. You were both lounging on your couch, watching some ridiculous reality show (a favourite of yours and Peter’s) when you’d turned your head to look at him, a thoughtful look on your face. “Do you think when S.W.O.R.D figures the technology out to crack into other realities, you’ll go back to yours?”

The question had taken him aback for a second, in all honesty, he hadn’t thought about going home, not when he was with you at least and considering he’d become your roommate about three weeks after he got out of WestView, the thought of returning to his old life had barely crossed his mind.

Being an ex-Avenger you were fairly well off, you lived alone in a two bedroom apartment in New York that you’d bought to be closer to Stark tower. Peter had nowhere to go and aside from having a spare room to offer you’d also been sort of lost in the current of the busy city with everyone you once loved in the area either dead, on the run or busy elsewhere.

While the question hadn’t crossed Peter’s mind, it had crossed yours on several occasions. He’d been staying with you for six months and the moment you realised that he was becoming one of the most important people in your life, the thought of him leaving you too weighed on your mind but at the end of the day you wanted him to feel happy. He deserved to feel happy and if going back to his reality brought him that happiness then you’d support him.

“Dunno,” he’d replied, turning to face you, chucking a handful of popcorn at you when you looked incredulous at his response, “To be honest I haven’t really thought about it, m’way too busy babysitting you anyway.” He joked, effortlessly dodging the few pieces of popcorn you attempted to throw at him.

For the last few nights, the question haunted him, but it wasn’t just the question that was bothering him. You were at the forefront of his mind as he replayed the past six months of his life which also happened to be the best six months of his life. WestView put him through hell but coming out the other side of it and meeting you felt like heaven.

He weighed up the pros and cons of returning to his native timeline. The cons: he’d have to leave you behind, he’d go back to being the loser who nobody took seriously, his talents would be downplayed and disregarded and he’d inevitably end up revisiting his lifestyle of solitude. Then there was the pros: he’d get to reunite with his pac man machine. He couldn’t manage to think up anything else.

If he stayed he’d have everything he ever wanted and needed. You’d be there and he knew you always would be, besides he couldn’t leave you knowing that you needed him. If he left who would wake you up when you had night terrors about the catastrophe that your reality was still recovering from? There would be nobody there to comfort you when you woke up from the nightmares, reliving the deaths of Natasha, Tony or Vision and the experience of being snapped out of existence? If he wasn’t there to make you laugh when you were about to cry then who would be? In his heart of hearts he knew you had a huge support system at your disposal, he’d met most of them. Even though he was well aware that Sam visited you as often as he could, that Bucky wrote you letters on a monthly basis and sometimes tagged along with Sam on his visits, that Stephen Strange appeared in your apartment whenever the urge struck him, that the literal god of thunder invited you out for beer whenever he was visiting Earth, that the little spider-kid, also named Peter, swung by your apartment at least once a week to tell you all about school and his good deeds. Despite knowing all of this and knowing all of these people loved you dearly, Peter wanted to be your main source of support, he didn’t want to be someone who came and went, who’d love you then leave you. He wanted to be with you through anything and everything and the feeling that you’d love him for a lifetime had him satisfied with the decision he was about to make.

If leaving his old life meant he could stay here, with you, and experience happiness for more than a fleeting moment then he’d simply; leave it all behind.

“I’ve been thinking about what you asked me the other night.” He spoke through a mouthful of curly fries. You were sitting in the food court of the mall when he decided to let you in on his desire to stay with you indefinitely.

You raised your eyebrow, “You? Putting thought into an answer? Peter, I think I’m starting to become a bad influence on you.” You told him teasingly, taking a long sip of your drink as he rolled his eyes humorously.

“You’re a terrible influence which is exactly why I’ve decided to stay here and put you on the straight and narrow.” The glee you felt at his statement was undeniable, your eyes lit up and your lips curled upwards.

“You’re staying? Really staying?” Your smile was contagious, Peter’s face now painted with a wide grin as he nodded his head.

In a moment of weakness he frantically added, “Y’know only if you want me to though. If you don’t that’s completely cool.” He rushed through the words, feeling more embarrassed when the fond look on your face never faded.

“Of course I want you to stay. You mean a lot to me.” You reassured him, a gentle smile on your lips as you reached across the metal table, intertwining your fingers with his.

Peter squeezed your hand gratefully, holding it in his grasp securely and allowing his smile to return to his face, “I know. You mean a lot to me too.” It was somewhat of an understatement, he was starting to understand that you didn’t just mean a lot, but that you meant everything.

His resolution lifted a huge weight off your shoulders that you wouldn’t be losing yet another best friend. You were glad he’d be with you when everything blew over with Wanda, the two of them definitely had the potential to develop a beautiful sibling relationship and they both deserved that. Of course, Peter would never replace Pietro and having known them both it was obvious just how different the two men were, the only thing they had in common being their powers and last name. Still, he and Wanda would still be able to work on it. He didn’t hate her after WestView and you knew Wanda well enough to know that she was kind hearted and she’d be more than willing to give him a chance. When she eventually comes back to her senses, that it.

As the months went on, life with you and Peter seemed to only get better. You never stopped laughing, your nightmares died down and Peter had taken on a whole new lease of life. Yourself and Peter were the perfect example of meeting the right person at the right time, you balanced each other out and accentuated the other’s good qualities.

Peter could now say with complete confidence that he was happy and what’s more is that he was finally sure that he was making someone happy.

Up until nearly eleven months of living together your relationship had been purely platonic, save for the constant flirting but flirtation pretty much ran in yours and Peter’s blood. Peter wasn’t going to lie to himself, he’d fallen for you the second you’d peeled the security tags off his stolen sunglasses.

You, on the other hand, had been fighting with yourself because yes, you love Peter but you couldn’t have told him when there was the possibility he’d eventually leave and now so much time has passed and you’ve got such a good thing going you didn’t have it in you to ruin it.

However, all of that changed when your original Maximoff best friend came knocking on your door.

Wanda was on the run. She’d caused an amazing amount of chaos but Stephen Strange and S.W.O.R.D were hot on her trail and now she needed a place to lay low with the twins. She figured there was no place more reliable to go than to the always open arms of her best friend, who conveniently had a divinity for earth magik and could muster up a protective barrier without raising suspicions. And that’s exactly where she found herself; outside your door.

You’d been chasing Peter around the apartment when you heard the knock on the door. Peter was on the opposite end of the kitchen to you, using the bar as a shield from you. “You better get that.”

“Oh you’d like that wouldn’t you?” You glared as you spoke, it was his own fault really. What sort of idiot jumpscares a witch while she’s mid-meditation? He’d frightened you so badly you accidentally blasted a ball of your signature green energy and ruined your favourite couch throw pillow. When you were ready to pounce on the scared speedster the knocks sounded again, more frantic this time.

With one last glare towards Peter you stomped towards the door. Your anger melted away completely when you saw her. Her hood was up and she looked completely exhausted, two small hooded little boys by her side.

“Wanda…” You breathed out, relief flooding your system at the sight of her alive. She didn’t get a chance to speak before your arms were pulling her against you tightly, hugging her as if your life depended on it. Wanda returned in your embrace, allowing herself to relax for the first time in nearly a year, she sniffled against your shoulder, holding back tears as she realised how much she’d truly missed you.

Billy and Tommy watched in confusion as their mother cried into your shoulder. They didn’t know who you were, all their mother had told them was that they were going somewhere safe.

It was the yell of one of the boys that caused you and Wanda to separate, “Uncle P!” With that you felt a familiar rush of air across your leg but instead of Peter appearing one of the kids was gone.

You shared a perplexed look with Wanda, although your confusion was for different reasons.

“Hey hell raisers!” Peter responded, catching the mini speedster who all but threw himself at him barely regaining his balance before the other child had flung himself into the hug.

“Wanda? Those two… are they...?” You started, at a loss for words Wanda cut you off quietly, her tone as disbelieving as yours.

“My children? Yes. Is that…?” You nodded your head numbly, anticipating the end of her question.

“Your fake brother? Yeah.” Quickly, you realised you and a wanted woman catching up with the door wide open wasn’t ideal and you ushered Wanda inside, shutting the door when she walked in.

“Hey.” Peter greeted her simply, as if he hadn’t been used as a meat puppet in her altered reality. It wasn’t in his nature to hold any grudges.

“Hi?” Wanda replied, her voice still twinged with confusion.

“Peter, will you keep an eye on the kids for a bit? Wanda and I have some catching up to do.” You asked him with a nervous laugh, just thankful that Wanda was too tired to argue with your suggestion.

Peter ruffled the boys’ hair and gave you a grin, “Only if you stop trying to kill me.”

You rolled your eyes as you began to lead Wanda into your bedroom, “You’re on probation, jerk.” You called over your shoulder.

Once you were securely in your bedroom, the door locked and sitting comfortably you fixed Wanda with an amused look, “I’d ask you what’s new but I’m not sure I even wanna know.”

Wanda gave you a sad smile while she shook her head, “No, you probably don’t. I will tell you tomorrow, I don’t want to get into it tonight. I’m so tired.” She admitted, her voice overcome with sadness.

“I’ll pump up the air mattress and you and the boys can sleep in here for however long you need. I’d offer you the spare room but that’s where Peter’s been staying and I don’t think empty food containers are the kind of decor you’d be into.” Wanda nodded, squeezing your hand gratefully.

“So his name is Peter?” She asked, curious about the man Agatha had used to trick her in WestView.

You nodded in confirmation, “Yeah. Peter Maximoff, actually.”

Wanda’s brows came to a furrow at that, “Maximoff? So he’s a relation?”

“Yes and no. Peter is from a different reality but he’s still a Maximoff and he’s got super speed. So, and this is just my theory, while you’re not directly related he could still be your brother- if you wanted him to.” You explained, as gently as you could, not trying to push her too far but to nudge the idea in her direction.

Wanda, to your surprise, didn't seem to hate the suggestion, “What is he like?”

A genuine smile made it onto your face then, as you shot into your description of your roommate, “He’s caring, funny, a little bit of a kleptomaniac but he’s working on it. He’s understanding and moronically selfless, moronic in the sense that he doesn’t even realise he’s being selfless. Huge pain in the ass too.” Wanda had a soft smile on her face by the time you’d finished.

“You like him.” Was all she said and you let out a laugh in disbelief, standing up and opening the door.

“Go grab a shower. I’ll have Peter blow up the air mattress while I go introduce myself to my god sons.”

“I thought you’d at least wait until I actually asked you.” Wanda laughed as you walked out of the room.

Things moved fairly quickly after that. As promised you introduced yourself to Billy and Tommy as their god mother, which they seemed more than thrilled about and you assumed that excitement had to do with whatever description of you Peter had given them. Wanda and the twins were all cleaned and fed and had all but collapsed into bed, foregoing the air mattress and huddling together in your double bed instead.

“Where are you sleeping, mother Teresa?” Peter teased as he noticed your eyes drooping where you stood.

“On the couch probably. Or the air mattress.” You mumbled, cutting yourself off with a yawn.

Peter, unimpressed with your options, scoffed, “No way. Come on, you can bunk with me.”

Much like Wanda, you were too tired to argue and you let Peter pull you to his, surprisingly clean, room by the hand.

You both crawled into the bed, lying close together despite the amount of empty space on the mattress.

“How are you feeling about all of this?” Your soft voice broke through the silence and Peter turned his head to look at you.

“About Wanda?” You nodded your head, watching him intently as he rolled onto his side, facing you more comfortably.

Peter shrugged lightly, “I’m feeling ok. Just glad the twins still see me as their cool uncle.” You let out a small laugh at his response.

“Wanda was asking about you. Seemed interested in getting to know the real you.” You informed him, your heartwarming as you watched a hopeful look fall across his face.

A lull settled over the room once again and Peter caught himself staring at you. His eyes drifted over every visible part of you, reminding him of most of the points on his pros list for staying in your universe; your eyes, your lashes, your nose, your lips, you.

“What’re you thinking about?” The sound of your tired voice pulled him out of his thoughts and ultimately pushed him to bite the bullet and tell you how he’s feeling. With you curled up beside him, in his bed, fighting sleep just to stay in his company for as long as you could; he knew there would be no better time.

“Just about how happy I am to be here with you.” He answered you honestly, the butterflies in both of your stomachs fluttering in sync at his words.

You trailed a hand under the duvet and onto the bedsheets between your bodies, feeling around until you found his hand and gently intertwined your fingers. “I’m happy you decided to stay.”

“What you’ve all gone through in this timeline sucks- don’t get me wrong-“ Peter started sincerely, scooting closer to you and dropping his head back down on the edge of your pillow, leaving the pair of you practically nose to nose as he went on.

“And I hate that Wanda had to go through so much… but I’m really glad that it led me to you.” Peter swore in that moment, right after the confession left his mouth, that he could die right now and be completely content knowing that you now knew how he felt.

His heart stopped, and he thought that maybe he was about to die, when you gave him the softest, sweetest smile he’d ever been on the receiving end of and whispered, “I feel the same.”

Time moved in slow motion as he felt you moving your intertwined hands towards your lips, your lips pressed gently against the back of Peter’s hand before you brought them to rest against your chest.

It was a fact to say that Peter Maximoff had never felt intimacy quite like this before. But, experiencing it now, with you, led him to wonder how he’d ever survived without it. He wasn’t sure whether it was natural to crave more, especially when the affection you were showing him was so gentle, but he didn’t care as he let the impulsive side of him take over.

Not sparing another word, Peter closed the small distance between your lips and his. His free hand cupped your jaw while yours wasted no time in getting tangled in his silver hair.

His lips moved softly and surprisingly slowly over yours and he savoured the feeling of your hand holding his while your other got lost in his hair, your body pressed up against him, the way your jaw moved against his palm as you reciprocated the movement of his lips and the taste of your lips, promising himself he’d never let the memory slip from his mind for as long as he lived.

With complete clarity, Peter could say he had felt true, genuine happiness and he had no doubt in his mind that there was absolutely nothing Charles, Hank, Scott or anyone else from his original timeline could say to make him leave this happiness behind. Because in the process of forgetting his old life, he couldn’t deny that he has undoubtedly found himself in the position of a man who had so much more to live for.